EQ Gangster: Recent Episodes
Noble Gibbens
EQ Gangster is specifically for leaders, business owners, entrepreneurs & other influencers who are honest enough to admit that they just might be the ones holding themselves back & who are brave enough to change that. Research is showing that your Emotional Quotient (also known as Emotional Intelligence) is a bigger indicator of success than your IQ, your education & your experience.
In each episode, Noble offers practical, candid, and often humorous clarity for the modern leader who is brave enough to do the most uncomfortable work they’ll ever do: change THEMSELF! Interviews with other leaders help you see how EQ can transform the way you lead, do business and live your life.
Noble Gibbens, West Point grad and Army veteran, has been coaching people for over 20 years. After an uncharacteristic fight with his wife a few years ago, he started learning about & growing his own Emotional Intelligence (EQ). What he learned transformed him from the inside out - in every area. He's sharing the breakthroughs here on the EQ Gangster podcast, in his membership, EQ Mafia, and with his corporate clients.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
500 EPISODES!!! THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SUPPORT!!!!!
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
Sorry for the delay on that one, everyone. A week late, (well, 6 days) but here's 499 ahead of 500 tomorow as usual.
-Team EQ
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Follow us at: https://www.arrowhead-leadership.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
if you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
if you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
if you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Boom! This one is fire.
Jordan Peterson was sharing this insight w/Joe Rogan on the role, nature & effect of different environments on our psyches, mindsets & motivations.
I’ve done multiple episodes on the power of different environments on our lives.
What environments bring the best out of you?
Mountains
Beaches
Cities
Wooden chairs
Comfy chairs
Bright rooms
Dark rooms
Suit & tie
Dresses
Shorts
Sweats
Jordan P. took it to another level. He said when we get into an environment (i.e.: our home office or workspace), does it give us inspiration & direction?
That question hit me like a Mack Truck.
How can you create your environments so much so that they create inspiration & direction everytime you enter it?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Why is this question relevant?
There are a number of relevant scenarios for this question:
Parenting
Leadership
Coaching
Developing teams
Navigating conflict
Maximizing a team or individual’s momentum
If the emotional state of someone is not considered, it could affect their ability to receive whatever guidance or leadership you’re attempting to impart.
How aware are you of others’ emotional states?
How do their emotional states affect your leadership effectiveness?
How often do you miss-assess someone else’s emotional states?
What are 1 or 2 things you can do to increases your social-awareness to better assess your team’s emotional states?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Real client story of a client telling me at the end of our coaching session he learned absolutely nothing. He got nothing out of it.
I was taken aback b/c I’ve never heard that before in the 25 years I’ve been coaching leaders.
Professionally he’s fairly dialed in, but personally he definitely has some room for improvement.
In his EQi2.0 assessment, it was clear he’s lacking the EQ element of Impulse Control.
My line of questions was specifically exploring some reflection on this particular aspect of his life. An area of his life that he doesn’t normally do a lot of reflection about.
Questions to consider
- Whose “fault” was it that he got nothing out of the session?
- What is the solution going forward so that he does get something out of future sessions?
- When have you felt your time was wasted?
- Were you still able to learn something - even if the speaker/leader - wasn’t to your liking / standard?
- Whose responsibility is it to learn - the leader being coached or the coach?
- How “good” are you at learning…from anyone?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Great conversation with a high school senior about how his mother intentionally taught him tools to be as mentally & emotionally healthy as possible.
Some topics we discussed:
- When & how his mother began teaching / training him about EQ.
- Are we putting in emotional “rocks” into our loved ones backpacks or are we helping take out emotional “rocks” from their backpacks?
- The emotional safety / support system of his family
- EQ tools he learned in high school
- The impact learning these EQ tools have had on him
@_king_tide (professional photography business on IG)
@redfishhall (personal IG)
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
ust had a great “Discovery Lunch” w/Jacob! It had been 15 - 20 years since the last time we spoke!
Jacob & I served in the same military unit at Ft. Bragg in the 82nd Airborne Division many years ago.
He was an amazing leader back then & it was so encouraging & inspiring to hear how successful he still is in his current company.
Their organization is having some unique challenges. They’ve doubled or tripled since he joined the team 8 years ago. They have the same systems & processes they did back then. Everyone in the company is running around w/their hair on fire w/little-to-no time for leader / people-development.
What would you recommend?
How would you help a leader like that?
How would you help an organization like that?
How important is identifying the strengths of leaders when building an organization?
I learned so many great things from my conversation w/Jacob.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Had a conversation outside the BJJ gym after class & spoke to one of the gym members there. They were crying & very emotional. A couple folks walked by. It’s helpful to learn what to say to someone when they’re struggling or emotional. Most don’t do a good job w/that. I definitely didn’t in my pre-EQ days.
The question that was asked to me was “How do you know if you’re just digging up stuff from the past or you’re actually processing & working through something?” Excellent question!
That’s what this episode is about.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Tonight was the 2nd day I rolled w/Josh, a 24 y/o Psychology major in college in his 5th week of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.
He shared an impactful story w/me after our 2nd roll tonight in class.
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What has created or lead to the most growth in your life?
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What are some of the lessons you learned from those specific times in your life?
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How often & intentionally do you pursue deliberate discomfort?
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What’s 1 thing you could start doing to slowly introduce more intentional discomfort in your life?
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What can you learn about yourself while pursuing hard things?
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What areas in your life are you most comfortable in?
Do a “Comfort Audit”. Identify those areas in your life that you’re the most comfortable in.
Keep in mind that comfort leads to complacency & complacency leads to destruction.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
I spent a weekend w/an amazing family a month back that left an amazing impression on me.
Billy & Beth have the gift of hospitality. They picked up that gift / superpower from their parents and grandparents.
I share some of my lessons learned from spending a weekend w/both parents & their awesome kids.
Here are some of the questions that came up for me:
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How do you make others feel when they’re around you?
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What emotions do others feel when they leave your presence?
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What impact do you have on others?
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What does it take to be good at “hospitality”?
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What are 1 or 2 things you could do to be more intentional at making others feel welcome & valuable when they’re around you?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Many leaders aren’t as self-aware as they think they are. That has been my experience in working with & conducting psychometric EQ assessments w/many leaders over the past few years.
This particular leader is very self-aware & made some connections in his own life & family of origin that were super powerful. This awareness & understanding of how he, in this case, developed a serious performance-based mindset in all his relationships, meaning he only felt loved & valuable if he was performing to a high degree.
That’s exactly what happened to me - developing a performance-based mindset - in my relationship w/God, my family & others…on top of an already unhealthy dose of people-pleasing. They ended up just magnifying themselves in my own life.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
What comes first - to lead yourself or leading others?
What comes first - better habits or better EQ?
What comes first - better behaviors or better emotional health?
This is actually a current conversation I’m having w/other coaches. Some great thoughts & dialogue that are definitely sharpening me in my own personal & professional growth journey.
What are your thoughts? What comes first?
How has it played out in your own life?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Whew…this has been a recent intense journey w/a client who reached out to me a couple months ago with a “911” call about his personal life, his family & his job.
His house is (at the time of this episode) still on fire…BUT…HE is no longer on fire like he was 2 mos ago.
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at begin to change.”
He has grown SO much over the past 2 mos b/c when he reached out to me, he took full ownership of the areas of his life he desperately needed to fix/change.
He was crying & completely at wits end on our first phone call. This was a guy who may have only cried once or twice in his entire life. Very unemotional. Very detached & disconnected from his emotions (which was actually part of the problem).
He was in such a different headspace on our most recent phone call. He was calm, present, almost peaceful…even though, for all intents & purposes, his house is still on fire…but he’s not.
He has been consistently doing the emotional fitness exercises over the past couple months, and as a result, is equipped & encouraged as he faces his challenges.
Here is one of the EQ exercises I had him do that he found very helpful:
Write out as many different Courses Of Action (COAs) that “might” happen.
Then write out the following for each possible COA:
Thoughts
Emotions
Behaviors
Solutions
He did the exercise & there was an entirely different COA he hadn’t even thought of. He recounted that even though he hadn’t thought of that particular scenario, because he had worked through the thoughts, emotions & solutions of the other similar scenarios, he was able to face the new COA calm, steady, safely & predictably. He said it was life changing.
I am so grateful to help leaders be the best version of themselves.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
EQG Ep. 372 What Comes First - Better Habits or Better EQ?
What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
What comes first - to lead yourself or leading others?
What comes first - better habits or better EQ?
What comes first - better behaviors or better emotional health?
This is actually a current conversation I’m having w/other coaches. Some great thoughts & dialogue that are definitely sharpening me in my own personal & professional growth journey.
What are your thoughts? What comes first?
How has it played out in your own life?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
EQG Ep. 373 The Power of Self-Awareness & Discovering the
Dr. Jean has a PhD in Business Psychology & is the owner/creator of the successful consulting practice CavemanBrain Business Growth System.
Her clients increase their new business development by 25% with just 5 hours a week by using her "done for you" new business development system.
Working with a Harvard Neuroscientist, she developed the Caveman Brain Domination System to increase your new business development results. It is based on how your brain operates during the new business development process so you have a better understanding of you AND your prospect.
This was such a fun interview!
Here are some of the questions we discussed:
- Most challenging emotional lessons as an entrepreneur?
- How would you define EQ?
- What have been some helpful tools to help leaders grow their EQ?
- What tools or resources do you use to help leaders get better results?
- How do you get good at reflecting?
- How important is clarity for the brain?
- How do you let go of your ego?
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeanoursler/
https://cavemanbrain.com/
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
s this true? “A leader is only as good as their ability to handle conflict.”
One of my clients shared that w/me recently.
It body slammed me b/c I was an absolute train wreck at conflict yet considered myself a “good” leader (whatever that means).
The only mental/emotional file I had for “conflict” was negative.
I had never seen an example in my life of “good conflict” or conflict done well.
So not only was I terrible at conflict, I was terrified by conflict.
To the point of even becoming completely all-consumed by a particular conflict in my life for over 2 years. Not exaggerating. It was almost paralyzing.
I use a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) analogy in describing this vital topic of conflict that was very helpful for me.
EQ Exercise: Do a “conflict audit” in your own life:
1.) What emotions come up when you hear the word “conflict”?
2.) What beliefs do you have surrounding conflict?
3.) What narrative, stories, scripts do you have regarding conflict?
4.) How can you possibly improve or tweak the above 3 responses to make you even more effective at conflict in your own life?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Whew, this one is difficult. I just wrapped up a coaching session w/a client that is going through a very, very challenging life phase.
He tried to play it off by saying “It’s all good. I’m good. It’s all gonna work out.”
I told him he doesn’t have to play the tough guy w/me. I know he’s tough. He’s very strong. He also needs to allow himself to experience the intensity of the emotions he’s going through & will continue to go through while he’s in this situation.
How prepared are you to go through another one of life’s valleys?
How ready do you feel?
How do you want to go through the next valley?
How well do you go alongside a friend or family member who is struggling or going through a valley? Are you mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually available & present for them?
How can you better prepare yourself for a valley either that you or a loved one will go through?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
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Check out this bio!
Dr. Margaret Heffernan produced programmes for the BBC for 13 years. She then moved to the US where she spearheaded multimedia productions for Intuit, The Learning Company and Standard&Poors. She was Chief Executive of InfoMation Corporation, ZineZone Corporation and then iCast Corporation, was named one of the "Top 25" by Streaming Media magazine and one of the "Top 100 Media Executives" by The Hollywood Reporter.
The author of six books, Margaret’s third book, Willful Blindness : Why We Ignore the Obvious at our Peril was named one of the most important business books of the decade by the Financial Times. In 2015, she was awarded the Transmission Prize for A Bigger Prize: Why Competition isn’t Everything and How We Do Better, described as "meticulously researched... engagingly written... universally relevant and hard to fault." Her TED talks have been seen by over twelve million people and in 2015 TED published Beyond Measure: The Big Impact of Small Changes. Her most recent book, Uncharted: How to map the future was published in 2020. It quickly became a bestseller and was nominated for the Financial Times Best Business Book award, was one of Bloomberg’s Best Books of 2021 and was chosen as the “Medium Best of the Best” business book
She is a Professor of Practice at the University of Bath, Lead Faculty for the Forward Institute's Responsible Leadership Programme and, through Merryck & Co., mentors CEOs and senior executives of major global organizations. She chairs the board of DACS and has advised the Casey Review into the culture and standards of the Metropolitan Police and the Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse led by Alexis Jay.
http://www.MargaretHeffernan.com
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This was such a great interview!
These are some of the questions that were brought up & some insights I gleaned from my interview with Dr. Margaret Heffernan, author & mentor to global CEOs:
How did you start your journey to becoming a world-class leader?
What annoys you?
Who encourages you?
What did you discover about creating the type of environment that would bring the best out of others?
Why are leaders not good at caring about others?
What are some of the areas you’ve observed senior leaders to change in?
How can leaders develop their curiosity about areas other than work?
How did you develop your ability to have the emotional & leadership agility throughout your leadership arc?
How can a leader develop the social capital within an organization?
What type of leaders do you enjoy working with the most?
Check out the actual interview next episode!
http://www.MargaretHeffernan.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
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If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
To get more information on homeschooling, visit our sponsor’s page at www.ClassicalConversations.com/gibbens
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Fascinating observation for me watching my teen daughter interact with two of her close homies on 2 different days this week. She spent 1 day w/one of her homies & the next day she spent w/her other homie.
Our daughter acted a little differently w/each of her friends. I hadn’t really noticed some of those nuances before.
It made me think if or how I act w/the different people that I spend time with.
Who brings what out of you?
How do you behave differently with different people?
Make a list of the people you spend the most time with personally & professionally.
Next to each person, write what emotions you feel about each person.
Then, see if you can be objectively self-aware enough to notice any behaviors you have around each. What differences do you observe?
What do you bring out of the people you spend time with?
Do you bring the best out of those you spend time with?
How can you be more intentional to bring good qualities out of those you spend the most time with?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
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It’s amazing how calm & confident one can be while rolling with any size, speed or strength opponent when you have been rolling & drilling BJJ consistently for 10+ years.
That’s how Professor Chad is w/all of his students. Some of us are bigger & stronger than he is, but none of us are as skilled as he is. He is calm, cool & collected w/all of his students b/c he has learned & evolved over his 10+ year BJJ career. He’s grown every single year. He’s continued to remain teachable. He’s continued to improve. He’s been consistent.
How are you evolving, improving with your “training partner” called “life”?
Are you growing & improving every single “class”? Every single year?
Are you learning new life “moves”?
Are you getting better at “life”?
How do you know?
What are clues you’re growing, changing & improving?
Do others notice?
How intentional are you at learning from your training partner, called “life”?
How can you get more intentional at growing & improving day after day, month after month?
What “metrics” do you want to track & grow in?
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Two stories of control freaks & some corresponding lessons: 1 story of a control freak is from my business cult days & the 2nd story of a control freak is very current - fortunately I’m not on the direct receiving end of the 2nd control freak. I do have a front row seat to the damage & toxicity of his hyper control over his adult children & business partners.
What is your relationship w/control?
How much control do you attempt to have in your personal & professional relationships?
How aware are you of the amount of control you possibly attempt to exert on others?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
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This is a fascinating story of helping a 5 y/o little girl get emotionally unstuck while attending her first Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) class.
It was amazing how quickly she transformed once I was able to get her emotionally unstuck.
What happened to her happens to adults frequently.
How good are we at:
- Getting ourselves unstuck
- Getting our family unstuck
- Getting our friends unstuck
- Getting our co-workers / team members unstuck
What can we do to be better at helping ourselves & others get emotionally unstuck?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
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This episode is about one of my recent failures.
I felt like I absolutely bombed Day 3 of the Boundaries Workshop that I just completed.
I got hit with a bunch of emotions literally about my lack of Boundaries for most of my life & I was unable to compartmentalize them until after the Boundaries workshop.
I brought those heavy intense emotions with me into the facilitation of the workshop. It was a terrible experience for me. It didn’t seem like I brought my A-Game to the workshop.
Then, I felt like I missed some nuances about Boundaries in the workshop further making me feel like I flopped.
To top it off, I spent 95% of the Workshop on what affected MY personal ability to effectively communicate my boundaries back when I was learning about them. I only spent 5% of the time on an actual script for communicating boundaries.
I started to 2nd-guess myself and felt like an absolute failure. I felt like I let the attendees down.
My Boundaries process:
Discover
Create
Communicate
Enforce
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EQG Ep 352 3 Important Questions Discussed With A 16 Yr Old Young Man
These 3 questions stemmed from a conversation with a 15 y/o teen from our church while serving on a missions trip in the Dominican Republic last year. We finally talked about them a year later.
Here they are:
- How do you want your life to turn out?
- What does an emotionally healthy, strong man look like?
- What does a good father look like?
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Wow, how present & in the moment am I?
This is definitely another area I’m sucking in.
After some reflection, I’ve realized how much of my thinking is either how I’m failing or how far away I am from my life goals or how much I’m not doing or not accomplishing. All that time is taking away from me being in the moment & achieving now, accomplishing now.
It’s hard to think about what needs to happen in the moment when so much of my bandwidth has been focused on the past or the future.
What are some things you can do to be where you are, to be more present?
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I got hit with some heavy emotions on the way to get my car serviced. Heavy emotions like feeling behind, incompetent, insecurity, clueless, ineffective. I thought I’d be so much further along in my faith, family, parenting, finances, fitness, business, etc.
It was encouraging to remember that I work w/high achievers & high performers who also have the exact same feelings.
Are there some of them that are actually further along than me in various areas of their lives? Absolutely.
Are there some that I’m further along than they are? Absolutely.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
What can you learn about where you’re at in life?
What is an emotionally healthy perspective of where you’re at in life?
Give yourself grace & patience as you pursue & achieve.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Don’t “should” on yourself.
How is guilt & condemnation serving you?
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I got tapped 3 times today by a blue belt & it was awesome! More on that later.
There were 4 purple belts, 3 blue belts and 2 white belts in my 6am BJJ class. So there was quite a bit of experience in the class. We trained guillotine chokes which is like a front headlock. They’re very unpleasant & uncomfortable.
How well are we able to differentiate between discomfort and passing out or tapping out? Our instructor, Joe, a fellow purple belt, shared that upper belts have a greater tolerance & awareness of when they’re actually in danger of getting injured or tapping versus being in an uncomfortable position that you can possibly work out of. Such a great life lesson.
How aware are you of your own limits?
When is it time to finally reach out to someone for help? A friend? A professional? A course? A resource?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
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Why does it seem like so many leaders have to increase & work on their EQ aspect of self-regard?
How do you grow your own self-regard and/or those around you that are struggling with self-regard?
There are 6 exercises I like to do w/executives & leaders to help them grow their self-regard:
- Origin story
- Victory List / “David Journal”
- Strengths, traits, talents & qualities
- Challenges Trends
- Inner circle
- Daily list
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“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at begin to change.”
This is a story about a friend who recently got promoted to a senior level position that is more people focused. His whole career he has been in a technical role. He has been very uncomfortable with this transition from a technical to more people-centered role.
He reached out to get some tools & growth in this area so he can fulfill his role more effectively.
He initially was not happy w/this “promotion”. After reflection & prayer, he realized that if he didn’t do it, no one else in the company will do it. So, it’s actually a great promotion for him to be in this spot b/c he genuinely cares about people.
Have you ever not been happy about something, but after time, you realized it was a blessing?
How can we be more emotionally agile in how we view things that we may initially not be happy with?
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Roxanne is the executive vice president and president of ACCO Brands North America, a $1Bn segment of ACCO Brands. She has responsibility for 2,000 employees located in 10 offices and 5 manufacturing facilities across the US, Canada, and throughout Asia.
She attended the United States Military Academy at West Point, New York, where she earned a bachelor’s degree in Engineering and secured 7 academy records on the Army’s track and field team.
In 2000 she earned her MBA, with honors, from Colorado State University. Roxanne is currently a board member of the non‐profit organization Feed the Children, where she serves as the chair of the resource development committee.
She earned industry recognition in 2019 as a member of Progressive Grocer’s Top Women in Grocery and in 2023 was named to OPI’s 50 Most Influential Women in the Office Products Industry.
Roxanne is my college classmate & friend. She’s an amazing leader!
Here are some of the questions we discuss:
- What role did your childhood play in your leader development journey?
- How & when did you start becoming self-aware as a leader?
- Why did you make a commitment to pursue leadership coaching?
- What are your strengths & weaknesses?
- How did you develop your intellectual curiosity?
- What has been one of your biggest challenges you’ve had to overcome as a leader?
- What is your personal leader development program?
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This is a follow-up of feeling like I completely bombed Day 3 of my recent free Boundaries Workshop.
The quick recap of that experience was I got hit w/a bunch of unpleasant emotions just before starting the presentation. I can normally compartmentalize my various emotional “spikes” but this time I wasn’t able to.
Kari, who is an EQ Mafia member & attended the Boundaries workshop, shared that me, as the presenter, doesn’t determine the value that the audience got from the workshop. Essentially, that “beauty (or in this case “value”) is in the eye of the beholder”. It was encouraging to hear but also challenging.
Debbie, who also attended the Boundaries workshop, shared that God still has a way of teaching us lessons even when we don’t feel like it was that good. She asked me “How many sermons have you listened to that weren’t that good, but God still revealed stuff to you?”
Some really challenging thoughts.
Then, literally after the Day 3 “bomb”, 3 Boundaries attendees unsolicited sent me really specific, encouraging feedback from the workshop. It was humbling & encouraging.
Our emotions can be deceiving.
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Bob McCoole is the Founder & Principal at McCoole, LLC - A Consulting Firm. Bob was the CEO of an $800 Million Construction company for 10 years. Then he was the Senior VP for a multibillion dollar healthcare company & for the past 25 years he has served as a board member and advisor for Senior Executives of a multibillion dollar international company.
Bob shares many insights about his take on leadership from his own personal experience & from observing & advising leaders for the past half-century.
Pay attention to his humility & the insights from his decades of introspection & study of leadership.
Some of the questions we discussed:
- What qualities make a successful Chief Executive Officer?
- What are some obstacles to successful leadership you’ve observed?
- How have you maintained your humility & teachability over 5 decades of very high level leadership?
- What is the importance of self-awareness in leadership?
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This episode is about another fellow Purple Belt who oddly enough has claustrophobia.
He asked me to roll two times in a row for 5 - 6 min each roll just so he could practice getting smashed by me. My BJJ game is adding a lot of pressure to people when I’m in a dominant position. It’s very uncomfortable. He literally asked for it. He knew what he was getting into.
What can you learn about pursuing deliberate discomfort?
What can you learn about yourself about pursuing deliberate discomfort?
What can you learn about God while pursuing deliberate discomfort?
What % of your life are you living in your comfort zone?
Book: Deliberate Discomfort by Jason B.A. Van Camp
https://www.amazon.com/Deliberate-Discomfort-Operations-Comfortable-Uncomfortable/dp/1733428011/
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
This episode is about another fellow Purple Belt who oddly enough has claustrophobia.
He asked me to roll two times in a row for 5 - 6 min each roll just so he could practice getting smashed by me. My BJJ game is adding a lot of pressure to people when I’m in a dominant position. It’s very uncomfortable. He literally asked for it. He knew what he was getting into.
What can you learn about pursuing deliberate discomfort?
What can you learn about yourself about pursuing deliberate discomfort?
What can you learn about God while pursuing deliberate discomfort?
What % of your life are you living in your comfort zone?
Book: Deliberate Discomfort by Jason B.A. Van Camp
https://www.amazon.com/Deliberate-Discomfort-Operations-Comfortable-Uncomfortable/dp/1733428011/
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
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You do NOT want to miss this episode. Csaba (“Chahbah”) shares some amazing insights about leadership, personal development, failure, tension, conflict, DEI & political correctness.
Csaba is a British/Hungarian entrepreneur, author, speaker and executive coach based in the UK.
He is the founder of ICQ Global, a people development organization with over 200 licensed partners in 45 countries.
Csaba is the developer of the multi award-winning Global DISC and GROWTH Zone models and the best-selling author of the Uncommon Sense in Unusual Times hybrid book published with Marshall Goldsmith.
Csaba has 15 years of experience in setting up start-ups, working with Fortune 500 companies, government agencies, entrepreneurs and certifying over 100 coaches and consultants globally.
Here are some of the things we discussed in this episode:
1.) How Csaba started his entrepreneur journey.
2.) Cultural intelligence
3.) What is your process for reflection & growing one’s self-awareness?
4.) What are some leadership trends you’ve observed after studying hundreds of global leaders?
5.) Where does your confidence come from?
6.) How do you encourage leaders to understand & accept themselves?
7.) How does a leader create psychological safety in their organizations?
8.) What are the consequences for not having a psychologically safe environment?
9.) If you have the wrong definition, it creates the wrong expectations. How are you defining challenges around you? How are those affecting your expectations?
10.) What are the actual effects, based on data, of Diversity, Equity & Inclusion and Political Correctness?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
One of the biggest insights I’ve gleaned from the hundreds of leaders I’ve coached over the past 20 years exhibit behaviors as an adult as a direct result of their childhood.
So the question is not “Is my childhood affecting me?”
The questions are:
1.) How is my childhood affecting me?
2.) To what extent is my childhood affecting me?
One of the leaders I’m coaching right now is 20+ years into his career & is in a very bad spot in his personal life. The current challenges he’s facing are a direct result of his childhood. Exactly like my story that led me into this space 4 years ago.
I would argue that a huge % of the issues you’re experiencing are in some way connected, directly or indirectly, to your childhood.
What are your origin stories for your emotional & behavioral unproductive patterns?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
I was able to breathe through my nose through every single BJJ roll tonight except for 1 roll.
The “White Belt Spazz” syndrome on the BJJ mats leads them to almost hyperventilate. The more intensely they breathe & the more out of control their breathing, the less clearly they think & the closer they get to completely losing cognitive control. This inevitably leads them to a full-blown panic response.
As we get stressed or anxious, the quicker our breathing.
How intentional are you at breathing?
How aware are you of your breathing throughout the day?
What happens to your breathing when you get stressed or anxious?
How can you utilize your breathing to remain calm, centered & focused?
What can you do to become more intentional at breathing?
Here are a couple breathing exercises to start trying out.
1.) “Box breathing”: Inhale 4 seconds. Hold that breath for 4 seconds. Exhale for 4 seconds. Hold for 4 seconds. Then, repeat. Do 4 sets of that. Pay attention to how you feel before & after.
2.) Do a big inhale & then at the top of the inhale, inhale again to fill the rest of your lungs as full as you can. Then, do a big exhale. Then, repeat 5 - 10 times. Again, pay attention to how you feel before & after.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
To get more information on homeschooling, visit our sponsor’s page at www.ClassicalConversations.com/gibbens
To get more information on homeschooling, visit our sponsor’s page at www.ClassicalConversations.com/gibbens
To get more information on homeschooling, visit our sponsor’s page at www.ClassicalConversations.com/gibbens
To get more information on homeschooling, visit our sponsor’s page at www.ClassicalConversations.com/gibbens
To get more information on homeschooling, visit our sponsor’s page at www.ClassicalConversations.com/gibben
To get more information on homeschooling, visit our sponsor’s page at www.ClassicalConversations.com/gibbens
To get more information on homeschooling, visit our sponsor’s page at www.ClassicalConversations.com/gibbens
To get more information on homeschooling, visit our sponsor’s page at www.ClassicalConversations.com/gibbens
Anyone else struggle with any of this?
I grew up Catholic. There are a lot of activities & tasks that are encouraged in the Catholic Church.
Then, I had multiple grandparents that would “talk trash” to my mom that not only negatively affected my mom, but also trickled down to me. I didn’t understand it at the time, but I knew it felt weird to hear my mom share some of her personal struggles w/me. I also witnessed it personally. It felt uncomfortable. It didn’t feel right, but I had no idea how to process it or how to deal w/it.
I didn’t realize that both my Catholic upbringing combined w/my generational “dysfunction” combined w/my already complete lack of awareness ended up leading to a very performance-based relationship w/God & people and then a bunch of self-condemnation & self-hatred.
What are some recent emotion “origin stories” have you discovered?
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A guy flipped me off.
And then I got pissed.
And we don’t even know each other.
And I had done nothing wrong.
I went through a series of emotions…in the span of seconds.
And eventually felt sad…for whatever that other guy was going through that he acted purely out of emotion & cussed me out & flipped me off.
Have you ever had road rage?
Have you ever been on the receiving end of someone w/road rage?
Lots of emotions are typically involved…on both ends of that experience.
How do you respond / react while driving?
Are you normally fairly calm, cool & collected?
Are you more on an emotional edge?
I ultimately ended up praying for that guy who flipped me off & forgiving him.
How can you set yourself up for “success” when driving so that you remain calm & never “react” & instead remain calm, no matter what.
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To get more information on homeschooling, visit our sponsor’s page at www.ClassicalConversations.com/gibbens
What is the connection between how in control you feel and how much stress & anxiety you experience?
My hypothesis is that the less control we feel we’re in, our stress & anxiety can tend to increase.
One of my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu training partners, Vince, challenged me to try different moves because I might be too much in a comfort zone based on the few moves I do.
I felt the control slipping from my grasp, as I knew he was right.
What areas of your life do you try to control more than others? Why those particular areas?
How much do you need to feel in control?
How do you respond when you feel yourself starting to lose control?
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Check out our Trigger Challenge Workshop at https://www.eqgangster.com/triggers
Dimyas’ bio: Lead of TalentSmartEQ’s military vertical, 22 years of training and leadership experience. Retired United States Marine. Served as the Senior Enlisted Advisor for the Lejeune Leadership Institute through Marine Corps University. Dimyas has expertise in communication, recruiting, ethical decision-making, and resilience. BJJ Brown Belt.
Dimyas shares a very personal & transparent journey of how he became the tremendous leader he is today.
Website
talentsmarteq.com
IG
https://www.instagram.com/mrxnte/
Fb
https://www.facebook.com/DP1775
LI
https://www.linkedin.com/in/dimyasperdue/
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Convicting story from a BJJ friend of mine who was literally run over by a semi truck & the corresponding physical, mental & emotional consequences of that traumatic experience.
It really demonstrates the importance of us to go back through each phase of our life & conduct an “emotional injuries audit” to make sure that we work through conscious & even subconscious emotional injuries that may still be negatively affecting us
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Sophie is a work futurist, keynote speaker, and Workforce Innovation Specialist at Flexcel Network. Sophie’s advisory services and workshops help leaders adapt to attract, engage, and retain a multigenerational distributed workforce. Sophie’s new book is Empathy Works: The Key to Competitive Advantage in the New Era of Work. Sophie hosts the popular podcast “Transforming Work with Sophie Wade”. Over 500,000 people have taken her LinkedIn courses. She got her BA at Oxford and MBA at INSEAD.
Twitter @ASophieWade and
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophie-wade-380b8/
Podcast: Transforming Work
Book: Empathy Works
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
When is the last time you felt the emotion of “rewarding”?
What was it that made you feel the emotion of “rewarding”?
Helping one of my clients develop boundaries was extremely rewarding for me.
I helped her create, communicate & enforce her boundaries & it was such a powerful experience for me…as much as it was for her.
How are your boundaries?
When is the last time you’ve done a “boundaries audit”?
What % of your boundaries come from an emotionally healthy place?
Do you have any boundaries that aren’t serving you well?
List both your personal & professional boundaries.
Amy Fiedler’s Course on Boundaries:
https://amy-fiedler.teachable.com/p/trauma-survivors-setting-boundaries
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Drew is the author of Under My Skin book.
DREW PLOTKIN is an Emmy nominated producer and founder of the Launch DRTV agency.
Created and directed award-winning TV broadcast commercials for major celebrities including Jennifer Lopez, Serena Williams, Cindy Crawford, Ellen Pompeo, Dwayne Wade, Kristin Davis, Jane Seymour, Paris Hilton, Drew Brees and more.
Founder and CDO (Chief Dude Officer) of the skincare line Derm Dude which produces products specifically for men’s beards, balls, and tattoos.
Primary 2022 sponsor for NASCAR driver Spencer Boyd. Drew has also co-founded Global Mobility USA, a non-profit that delivers wheelchairs to people in need.
Drew has an engaged audience of more than 56.9K TikTok followers, 20.2K followers on Instagram, and just over 5K loyal email subscribers. He lives in Southern California with his four magical kids and his dog, Rufus.
It’s so much fun interviewing successful entrepreneurs and hearing their emotional growth journey along their success “rollercoaster”.
Website: https://dermdude.com/
Social media links:
https://www.facebook.com/DermDude/
https://www.instagram.com/chiefdudeofficer/
https://www.tiktok.com/@dermdudeofficial?lang=en
I walked a medical professional through the “Stress Plate” exercise.
Here are some good questions to ask yourself as well:
How self-aware are you?
How aware are you of your energy levels at any given time of the day or night?
How intentional are you at taking care of yourself?
How effective are you based on your energy levels?
How do you recharge?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Lima Charlie Network
https://www.limacharlienetwork.com/
To get more information on homeschooling, visit our sponsor’s page at www.ClassicalConversations.com/gibbens
Nick shares his super unique story of how he started in the People-Pleasing space.
He also shared very openly about a number of the challenges he’s overcome & how he worked through them. 3 bouts of alcoholism. 3 divorces. 1 trip to rehab.
He explained how alcohol impacts / affects how we behave & how view the world around us.
He provided 4 practical exercises / steps to work through & overcome one’s people-pleasing behaviors.
How to connect with & follow Nick:
https://stan.store/nickpollardexperience
Lima Charlie Network
https://www.limacharlienetwork.com/
To get more information on homeschooling, visit our sponsor’s page at www.ClassicalConversations.com/gibbens
In this episode, I share a client story w/some sobering news.
This story raises some really important questions to ask yourself & reflect on.
What emotions would you experience if you were told how much longer you had to live?
What would you do with that news?
My client said hearing that news was a gift for him because that’s when he started living.
How would you let that news affect / impact you?
How easy is it for you to ask others for help?
What % of time do you give, in relationships?
What % of time do you receive, in relationships?
How well do you give and/or receive in relationships?
What’s the relationship between giving, receiving, trust, control & vulnerability?
Some important questions to ask as healthy relationships should have a good balance of both giving & receiving.
Lima Charlie Network
https://www.limacharlienetwork.com/
To get more information on homeschooling, visit our sponsor’s page at www.ClassicalConversations.com/gibbens
Some more life & emotional lessons from my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) “therapy”.
2 Stories in this episode: 1 story of me feeling intimidated & doubtful rolling w/a younger more athletic dude and another story of rolling w/a young athletic lady that had me in a submission attempt that nearly “checkmated” me leading me to a near panic scenario.
How good are you at recognizing your victories – both big & small?
How good are you at recognizing your failures?
For me, over the past 4 decades, I have majored in my failures & for the vast majority of the time, ignored or poo-pooed my wins.
I’m working on having a better balance between my successes & failures.
I saw a new person at our BJJ gym tonight & I was initially intimidated by him & also began doubting my own skill level.
Intimidated & doubtful. What made you feel that way?
Was my ego trying to protect me from something? From failure maybe?
How was I defining failure? How do you define failure?
When is the last time you were able to identify, process & manage your emotions from unpleasant & uncomfortable emotions to pleasant & powerful emotions?
What was that experience like?
What did you learn from that?
Lima Charlie Network
https://www.limacharlienetwork.com/
To get more information on homeschooling, visit our sponsor’s page at www.ClassicalConversations.com/gibbens
Schedule some time in your calendar to do an Emotional Audit of this year. Here are some questions to ask yourself to get you started:
How did you do this year emotionally?
How did you grow this year emotionally?
Where do you still need some more work in?
How did you do with boundaries
How did you do with conflict this year?
What did you learn through conflict this year?
How did you do with getting triggered this year?
How often were you triggered?
What did you learn from the times you were triggered?
How often did you validate & affirm other people throughout the year?
How productive & effective are you when you’re fatigued?
How aware are you of your energy levels?
How do your energy levels affect you?
What are ways you recharge?
How well do you sleep?
How can you improve your energy awareness & energy management?
How are you currently growing yourself, personally & professionally?
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EQG Ep. 303 How Aware Are You of How Your Emotions Are Impacting Your Decision Making Process? More Business Cult Consequences
How do you make difficult decisions?
How aware are you of how your emotions are impacting your decision making process?
Are you caught up in the “hustle & grind” culture at your job or in your business or in your military unit?
In the business cult, each level you hit was never enough; it was never high enough. You always had to go to the next level.
I finally discovered a huge reason why I’ve had such a challenging time making a decision on whether or not to scale my EQ Gangster business.
How are you still being impacted by the past? Or by some past trauma? How are you dealing with it? How are you growing through it?
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I rolled with the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) “Jesus” tonight! lol He was half my size & more than half my age and was twice as experienced as me in BJJ.
On any given day, how emotionally present & mindful are you?
What are some things you can do to become more present throughout the day?
20 y/o Jesus tapped me w/my favorite submission & I’m super proud that my ego didn’t kick in & get frustrated & upset. That was a big win. It felt great!
What’s a recent emotional win for you?
How good are you at recognizing your emotional wins?
What’s the balance between recognizing your failures vs your wins?
Dr. Mark Mayfield:
https://www.instagram.com/thedrmayfield/
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How intentional are you about leadership? Really?
How intentional are you at growing yourself as a leader?
What type of preparation do you do as a leader?
How would it impact you if your leader was more intentional at leading you?
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One of my corporate clients shared how he also felt some imposter syndrome after a recent promotion of his to a very high position in his company.
Have you ever struggled from imposter syndrome?
How frequently do you struggle w/imposter syndrome?
What have you learned about yourself from your imposter syndrome?
White to Blue Belt in my BJJ journey felt like going from an adolescent to a teen. Getting promoted to Purple Belt felt like my first “adult” belt. That thought / concept resonated with him.
Shout out to John Roy, one of my previous BJJ coaches, for his constant help & coaching in my Jits journey.
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Am I enough?
Am I worthy?
Do I deserve anything good in life?
Do I have what it takes?
What’s the relationship between the spiritual & the emotional?
What questions keep you up at night?
Why am I struggling with these questions?
Where are these questions coming from?
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Do you allow yourself to feel both pleasant & unpleasant emotions?
How curious are you about your emotions?
How judgmental are you about your emotions?
How often do you feel uncomfortable or unpleasant emotions?
How comfortable are you feeling uncomfortable emotions?
Leader Farming, book by Zach Thomas
https://www.amazon.com/Leader-Farming-Growing-Leaders-Business-ebook/dp/B07PFM4G5Z
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Post-Bible Study reflections…
What kind of people make you feel comfortable & safe?
What type of people are you drawn to?
What do those above answers say about you?
Where do those attractions come from?
Who doesn’t make you feel comfortable?
Who doesn’t make you feel safe?
How intentional are you at spending time with or investing in those relationships that make you feel comfortable?
Who is in your tribe?
What tribe do you want to be a part of?
My wife is much more self-aware than I am.
She shared some insights coming from her self-awareness that really helped me make some connections in my own life.
It’s an interesting episode on how our energy levels, personality, strengths & EQ are all interrelated.
StrengthsFinder2.0 book by Tom Rath
https://www.amazon.com/StrengthsFinder-2-0-Tom-Rath-ebook/dp/B001CDZZI6/
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Man, the emotional floodgates opened when I missed a couple appointments.
My old people-pleasing addiction emotions came fast & furious into a valley.
I immediately responded w/old default unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Then, I went to my BJJ class & experienced 2 uncommon emotions for me that helped clear some of my emotional fog: control & power.
Becoming A King, book by Morgan Snyder
https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-King-Path-Restoring-Heart-ebook/dp/B07T9XNSVZ/
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This episode goes into how writing a proposal for a company triggered some unpleasant (old) emotional consequences for me.
Whew…I wasn’t prepared for the emotional slam from writing this particular proposal.
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Post-Bible Study reflection.
Lots of old emotions were triggered from this Bible study.
I was in a mental, emotional & spiritual prison for a few decades.
It was both comfortable & brutal at the same time.
It was almost self-righteous hatred, a “holy” hatred of self.
Imagine trying to do anything with your life with that underlying theme mentally, emotionally & spiritually.
What are the consequences of your own mental, emotional & spiritual prisons?
The irony: 2 pastors were both former gangsters & the man sitting next to me at the Bible study had served 2 life sentences in a federal penitentiary. He was ministering to me with the truth about God’s Word & how God feels about me regardless of how I feel about me.
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EQ Exercise:
Do a “Conflict Audit”.
List your recent 5 - 10 conflicts you’ve had or been involved in.
Start evaluating each of those conflicts & extrapolate the different emotional & leadership lessons.
How self-aware were you in each conflict?
How aware were you of your own emotional state going into the conflict?
How aware were you of the other person’s emotional state going into the conflict?
How well did you validate & affirm the other person’s emotions?
How well did you self-manage in each stage of the conflict: prior-to, in the middle of and coming out of the conflict?
What can you learn about others from those conflict experiences?
What can you learn about yourself in those conflict experiences?
How can you grow from & maximize those conflict experiences?
Prime BJJ
https://www.primebjj.com/
To get more information on homeschooling, visit our sponsor’s page at www.ClassicalConversations.com/gibbens
How often do you feel the emotion of peace?
In the past, what has contributed to you feeling peaceful?
What are the conditions that lead to your peacefulness?
Who makes you feel peaceful?
What is your ability to feel peaceful in chaos?
Do you need external peace to feel internal peace or is your internal peace strong enough that the external environment has no impact on your internal peace?
How does your emotional health impact your peace?
How does your self-awareness & self-management impact / affect your peace?
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How long does it take you to build trust in relationships?
What needs to happen for you to trust someone?
How does your personality impact how you develop & maintain trust?
How important is trust to you in relationships?
What erodes trust for you?
How long does it take you to re-build trust?
How trusting are you?
What has impacted your ability / desire to trust?
Make time for reflection on this critically important relationship / leadership topic of trust.
EQ Exercises:
What are the emotions that come up when you hear the word “trust”?
What are the stories you have regarding trust?
Where did those emotions & stories about trust come from in your life?
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Post Bible Study reflection on the concept of “patience”.
How would you define “patience”?
How patient are you?
What value does patience hold in your life?
What are the benefits of patience?
What is the cost of being patient?
Patience is long-suffering w/out complaining.
What are some action steps you could take to begin working on your patience?
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What an amazing, fun & insightful conversation w/one of the world’s greatest minds in leadership & coaching!
Michael Bungay Stanier (MBS) is the Author of The Coaching Habit (1 million+ sold), The Advice Trap & How to Begin. He’s a world renowned keynote speaker & thought leader in the area of Coaching.
These were some of things we discussed:
How did you become the “rockstar” you are today?
How did you develop your emotional intelligence?
The power of a question to shift power
Creating space for people to open up & share
The self-help swamp
Putting values to the test & failing
How does one discover who they are?
Is reflection a skill?
How MBS journals & reflects
1.) What do I notice?
2.) What am I grateful for?
3.) What is the one thing I really want to get done today?
What brings MBS the greatest joy?
What’s the difference between a good coach & a world-class coach?
How does one get more comfortable in their own skin?
Website:
https://www.mbs.works/
Michael’s Newest book: How To Begin
https://www.mbs.works/best-books-training-for-coaches-leaders-and-mentors/how-to-begin-book/
Michael’s Podcast:
https://www.mbs.works/2-pages-podcast/
Michael’s “Conspiracy” Community:
https://www.mbs.works/the-conspiracy/?_ga=2.99824350.1551400541.1665177133-1986511876.1658455263
J.R. Flatter
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jrflatter/
Flatter Inc.
https://www.flatterinc.com/
Two Roads Leadership
https://tworoadsleadership.com/
Book
The Light Side of the Dark Chasers by Deborah Ford
https://www.amazon.com/Dark-Side-Light-Chasers-Reclaiming/dp/1594485259/
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Whew…this was some very nervous, scary, raw, transparent reflection after a brief moment of, what felt like, uncontrolled aggression.
Thankfully, it was very brief. And thankfully, I was actually controlled, but it definitely didn’t feel that way.
Another episode revealing how much more growth I need in my leadership & emotional growth journey.
How much control do you feel when you get emotional?
How in control are you actually…when you get emotional?
How can you develop or increase both your awareness & control when you get emotional?
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Whew…why is it so difficult being vulnerable? This was a bit of a challenging episode because I got emotional a couple times & I wasn’t sure why I got emotional.
I got promoted to purple belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) the day before I recorded this episode. It was very hard for me to accept & receive my purple belt.
A lot of my self-image issues & insecurities & identity issues came rushing back like a flood. I wasn’t prepared or expecting the promotion and I definitely wasn’t prepared for all the emotional ramifications of getting promoted either.
I’m still processing this event / experience.
Trying to give myself grace, patience & understanding.
Team R.O.C. (Fayetteville, NC)
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100057408920318
Prime BJJ (Colorado Springs)
https://www.facebook.com/primebrazilianjiujitsu
Flow State BJJ
https://www.facebook.com/cfsfalconbjj
John Roy & his Mentor podcast
https://open.spotify.com/show/0lT9hrLeMCVwAqtQAl6WDH?si=d1e4c116f3974ed8
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This episode was also recorded after the morning mens’ Bible study I attended.
Addiction was brought up a number of times in the Bible study. Many men struggle with porn addictions, alcohol or drug addictions, eating addictions, sex addictions, food addictions, social media addictions and even the very acceptable (& often-times lauded) work addictions.
Addiction is such a fascinating concept to me. It seems to me that so many of us struggle with or have struggled with addictions.
What are you addicted to?
How much time do you spend on your phone?
How much time do you spend on social media?
What controls you?
What has your heart?
What has captured your thoughts?
What can you not say ‘no’ to?
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I had just left a men’s Bible study earlier that morning & the topic of self-confrontation came up. It’s actually the entire theme of the Bible study. Now, it was obviously brought up in the context of spiritual self-confrontation, but I also loved the thought of emotional self-confrontation.
The emotional affects & impacts the spiritual & vice versa.
How good are we at self-confrontation?
What does good healthy self-confrontation even look like?
Who do you know who is good at self-confrontation?
How can self-confrontation add value to your life?
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Ritchie Thomas, A Soldier's Coach, helps our transitioning military service members mentally transition from a Soldier's mindset to a business professional's mindset via speaking engagements, transition workshops, and coaching.
In this episode, Ritchie shares how he overcame homelessness after transitioning out of the military into a successful spreaker, author & entrepreneur.
Some of the things we discussed:
The 5 biggest threats facing military veterans today
People never outperform their own self-image.
How he worked through & crawled out of his valley?
The Rule of 168
168 hours to positively recreate your life.
6 Key Areas of Life:
Self Education
Formal Education
Professional Career
Mind, Body & Soul
Financial Independence
Personal Relationships
What are the steps to get through a major life valley or transition?
Bonus Website for EQG Podcast Listeners
https://www.ritchiethomas.com/eqgangster
Website
https://www.ritchiethomas.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/ritchierthomas/
YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZ0gov-7V46V_pN7WiOrngQ
Ritchie’s TEDx Talk
https://youtu.be/LEXaYRxCPfo
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Jonathan Liebert is the founder & CEO of the National Institute for Social Impact (NI4SI) and also the CEO of the Better Business Bureau in Colorado Springs, CO.
Jonathan has worked with hundreds, if not thousands, of businesses & entrepreneurs over the past 20 years to help them become successful social entrepreneurs.
He shares some tremendous insights on how people can combine their purpose with making money by becoming a social entrepreneur & impacting the world in & through their business.
He ties in the importance of knowing oneself, which takes self-awareness, to being the best & most effective social entrepreneur possible.
He shared 3 of the biggest challenges people have in becoming social entrepreneurs.
National institute for Social Impact (NI4SI)
https://ni4si.org/
NI4SI Email
info@ni4si.org
Jason Anderson
https://veteranpcs.com/
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In this episode I share a story of how my new Brazilian Jiu Jitsu gym owner shared some of his “status” with me & how unexpected it was & how it made me feel.
This was shortly after listening to Michael Bungay Stanier’s podcast interview “2 Pages” with Will Storr on the concept & power of “Giving Away Status” to others & the “consequences” / benefits of doing so.
2 Pages podcast interview w/Michael Bungay Stanier & Will Storr:
https://pod.link/2Pages/episode/aa58ff4d47df94a0812d1bbde135f796
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In this episode, I share a story about how subconsciously it seems that our teenage daughter seeks our approval, but I’m not sure how aware she is of that dynamic.
It made me reflect & ask myself whose approval I seek? And maybe an even more important question…why do I seek their approval?
What are the consequences of seeking someone else’s approval?
As a 30-40 year people-pleaser addict, the thought of seeking someone’s approval now is almost repulsive.
Ideally for me, I would like to think I only seek the Lord’s approval, but I’m not sure if I’m being completely aware or honest with myself. That is definitely my goal, though.
I pray this episode causes some self-reflection and maybe even some prayer.
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Bill Proctor is a U.S. Air Force Security Forces (police) veteran, civilian Law Enforcement Officer (LEO), and Hostage Negotiator. He shares his story of how he used mindfulness exercises to cope with the incredibly challenging nature of being a Police Officer along with his growing Emotional Intelligence to deal with a toxic work environment.
Here are some of the things we discussed during the interview:
Mindfulness technique / coping mechanism - going to your happy place - visualize it w/all 5 senses
Is there a stigma for LEOs to visit the on-staff Mental Health Psychologist?
What has impacted your own emotional growth journey the most as an LEO?
Why he chose to stop pursuing so much education.
How his emotional growth journey led to a career change.
What are the potential consequences of an “Embrace the Suck” organizational culture?
To contact Bill:
williamproctor1974@gmail.com
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Bust out your pen & paper on this one!
We hit a lot of questions in this episode about this topic.
Here are some of them:
Do others feel emotionally connected to you?
How do you know?
Is it important? Why?
What’s the importance / value of emotional connection?
How do you know when you’ve connected emotionally?
How good are you at connecting emotionally with others?
Would others agree w/your assessment at your ability to connect emotionally?
What could you do to be more intentional at connecting w/others emotionally?
How does your ability or inability to connect emotionally impact / affect your leadership?
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Dr. Holly helps conscious single men and women find the love of their dreams. With a doctorate in clinical psychology, she founded Find Love At Last in 2014 to empower you to find the love you've been dreaming of and has been a matchmaker, coach, and image consultant for over 9 years. Dr. Holly is a dating expert and inspiring speaker who empowers and advises on dating strategy, online dating, mindset, image, partner suitability, communication, and commitment.
Questions & topics we discuss:
How do you help people that are not emotionally intelligent work through their relationship issues & challenges?
What have you learned about men & women from your 15 years as a relationship expert?
What are the trends of where relationships fall apart?
What systems have you found help with maximizing our internal work?
We’re far more in touch w/what we want than what we need.
What we want is usually ego based. What we need is usually soul based.
Relationship myth:
Relationships have to be hard.
Importance of having a carefully curated tribe.
findloveatlast.com
Fb: Conscious Singles: From Single to Soulmate
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1178662715802614
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
In this episode, Logan, an author & Licensed Family Therapist & Certified Trauma Professional, shares some very insightful comments and practical advice on how men can become the best & healthiest versions of ourselves, despite what society & culture is promoting.
Some questions we discussed:
How his childhood impacted his emotional journey
How to increase self-awareness
The conflict of messaging men have to overcome
Some of the obstacles men need to overcome
Practical steps to become the best versions of ourselves
Tiktok - @healinghumanity777
IG - @balancedmanplan
FB - @balancedmanplanofficial
Twitter - @balancedmanplan
LinkedIn - @balancedmanplan
Website - BalancedManPlan.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Whew, I just got hit this week with a bunch of old emotional issues that I had already worked through quite a few times.
I share my process for how I handled it & my emotional “battle drills” of going “A.P.E.D.”.
What is your emotional agility like?
What are your favorite emotional tools to get through difficult or challenging emotions?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Dr. Brooks Gibbs is a social psychologist and award-winning resilience educator who teaches students how to regulate emotions and solve social problems.
Over 2,500 schools have hired him to speak allowing him to reach 2 million students face-to-face. His viral videos have amassed more than 300 million views worldwide.
Some of the powerful points Dr. Gibbs made:
Turning pain into purpose.
Teaching students (& adults) how to be emotionally resilient.
Insights on curing teens & adults of their offendability.
How to love the life they have.
How to create an unstoppable human being.
How to spot & address errors in thinking, aka conduct a “cognitive dialysis”.
3 Powerful Questions to Begin Building Resilience
1.) How could this be worse?
2.) Why won’t this matter in the future?
3.) How could this turn out for my good?
Website
https://www.brooksgibbs.com/
https://www.facebook.com/brooksgibbs
YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/c/BrooksGibbs
https://www.instagram.com/brooksgibbs/
Teen Crisis Resource
www.thehopeline.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
This episode is sponsored by MyDenverTherapy.com. If you’re in the Denver area & need a great therapist, definitely connect w/them!
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
This episode is sponsored by MyDenverTherapy.com. If you’re in the Denver area & need a great therapist, definitely connect w/them!
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
This episode is sponsored by MyDenverTherapy.com. If you’re in the Denver area & need a great therapist, definitely connect w/them!
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
This episode is sponsored by MyDenverTherapy.com. If you’re in the Denver area & need a great therapist, definitely connect w/them!
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
This episode is sponsored by MyDenverTherapy.com. If you’re in the Denver area & need a great therapist, definitely look them up!
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
This episode is sponsored by MyDenverTherapy.com. If you’re in the Denver area & need a great therapist, definitely check them out!
I was almost completely choked out unconscious today while at my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) class because I have gotten so comfortable being uncomfortable that I didn’t tap when I should have.
Some great lessons & great questions came from that experience.
Thank you, Eric! You are the man! Thank you for the lessons today!
How much have you normalized your dysfunction?
What areas of your life do you accept your dysfunction?
Are you dysfunctionally functional?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
A super reflective conversation with my West Point classmate & Hollywood Writer, TJ Brady.
He shared some emotion & leadership insights on his experience of being in charge of the new TV Drama “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” that aired earlier this year on Peacock.
How are you growing both professionally AND internally?
Many are just focused on professional growth.
Are you emotionally prepared to face & deal with the next level of challenges at your next promotion / level-up?
How do you know you’re ready?
What does your emotional fitness program need to look like in order for you to be prepared for the next level, next phase of your life?
EQG Ep. 95, Interview With Hollywood Writer & West Point Grad, TJ Brady (iTunes)
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/eq-for-entrepreneurs/id1497445408?i=1000503061046
EQG Ep. 95, Interview With Hollywood Writer & West Point Grad, TJ Brady (YouTube)
https://youtu.be/X53rt2BVThU
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
I finally had the conversation with my teenage daughter about how I got triggered over a week ago, what I’m learning, my apology & my boundaries.
Insights:
My emotional “Kryptonite” - rejection
Waiting to have the conversation with her until I calmed down from my emotional trigger.
RFR - Repentance, Forgiveness, Restoration
Communicating calmly & safely the entire conversation
Honoring her “Question Boundaries”
Honoring both her boundaries AND my boundaries
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
An episode about the intersection of our EQ, Personality & Failure.
How do you define ‘failure’?
What ‘stories’ or ‘scripts’ do you have pertaining to failure?
How does your EQ impact how you respond to failure?
How does your personality impact how you interpret failure?
How can you maximize your failure?
How can you change the way you look at failure to get more out of it?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
I had a conversation with a friend who dialed me in after I had prematurely come to the conclusion that feeling strong emotions equaled a low EQ.
Then, I had some reflection after feeling bad after receiving some positive feedback. Is it ok to like / appreciate words of affirmation from others? Is it a sign of weakness?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
This episode introduces the concept & question of how do you set goals & “dream build” from an emotionally healthy place.
How have you developed / established your goals?
Who are you trying to please?
Who influenced your goal setting?
Where did you come up with your particular goals & dreams?
Is there such a thing as dreaming “too big” or “not big enough”?
What role has your family, friends, culture & society played in your goal & dream setting?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
I share some current personal reflection on how my coping, survival mechanism is negatively impacting my relationship with our daughter.
There are a handful of helpful questions to assist you in doing some reflection on how some of your coping mechanisms may also be impacting your relationships, both personally & professionally.
I also share my game plan to restore & strengthen my relationship w/our teenage daughter.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Dr. Travis Hearne shares some great insights regarding managing emotions of not only yourself, but your team when working remotely.
He also shares his own personal challenges & journey from being emotionally numb as a Marine and then learning to develop his own self-awareness so that he could be emotionally present & available for his wife & children.
He recently wrote a book on leading remote & in-person teams, aka “hybrid teams”. His book is called “Hybrid”.
LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-travis-m-hearne-2979b7198/
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/Dr.THearne
Website:
https://www.titaniumleadershipconsulting.com/
Jason Anderson
https://veteranpcs.com/
Flatter, Inc.
https://www.flatterinc.com/
Two Roads Leadership
https://tworoadsleadership.com/
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
There are two other episodes involving Dr. Jerry Novack. One previous episode was based on some more excellent EQ insights I received from him during one of our conversations.
The other episode I interviewed him.
It is always such a tremendous learning experience speaking w/someone w/such great self-awareness.
Jerry’s self-awareness forces me to reflect, challenge myself and dig deeper into my own journey.
In this episode, I share more deep insights & connections gleaned from Jerry along w/15 questions he asks me for one of his college classes.
One of the many reasons I respect Jerry is that even with a PhD in Psychology, he continues to work on himself, grow & change.
He’s a Purple Belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, a Psychologist, a former United States Air Force Major, and a successful personal trainer.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jerry-novack-phd-cpt-b71a0a4/
Facebook Group: Growth & Thriving After Hardship & Adversity
https://www.facebook.com/groups/512338896667918
YouTube: Growth & Thriving LLC
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVqRlRBm87GgSsR62amKz7A/videos
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Here are some questions about our emotional bandwidth & capacity when dealing with someone that is emotionally charged:
Whose emotional state impacts your emotional state?
How effective are you at being able to hold space for someone whose emotional w/out letting their emotional state impact / affect you?
Who is impacted by YOUR emotional state?
What can you do to better prepare yourself to handle others’ various emotional states?
Are there specific people that have a tendency to trigger you?
Why do they trigger you?
What questions could you have “on-hand” to help an emotional friend, colleague or family member process their challenging emotions?
Here are 9 questions to help someone process their own challenging emotions:
1.) What emotions are you feeling right now?
2.) How are those emotions impacting you?
3.) What meaning have you attached to those emotions?
4.) What stories are attached to those emotions?
5.) How accurate are the stories attached to those emotions?
6.) Where are those emotions coming from?
7.) Are these emotions a pattern or theme?
8.) How can you work through those emotions?
9.) What can you learn from those emotions?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
These are the 7 questions I answer on this episode from my recent Missions Trip to the Dominican Republic:
1.) What fears did you come to the DR with & how have you overcome them?
2.) What did you learn from the Dominican culture that you can take home & apply to your life?
3.) What challenges do Dominicans face that you should be thankful for that you don’t have?
4.) Most impactful part of this trip in your life?
5.) What would you do differently the next time you come?
6.) How can you better support & encourage one or more team members next time?
7.) Action items
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
LTC Travis Walter shared a real-world example where he encountered a very toxic senior military officer.
Travis shares how he transformed a toxic leadership experience into an opportunity to grow his own emotional health & emotional intelligence by increasing his awareness & curiosity.
He even grew his faith & learned Boundaries & learned how to begin advocating for himself even if it cost some professional capital.
What lessons have you learned from your toxic leadership experiences?
Are you emotionally bulletproof?
Fear is the way to my healing.
What am I afraid of? Pursue that fear & see what it’s attached to.
How aware are you of your own intentions?
Emotionally Healthy Spirituality book by Pete Scazzero
https://www.amazon.com/Emotionally-Healthy-Spirituality-Impossible-Spiritually/dp/B08SHX5632/
Kerwin Rae
https://kerwinrae.com/
Travis Walter (Fb)
https://www.facebook.com/travis.walter.56
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Just finished interviewing Adam Posner, owner of the NHP Talent Group & Podcast Host of The POZcast.
Amazing dude.
Here are 3 of the lessons I learned from Adam.
1.) Don’t let life happen to you. You “happen” to life. What do you want? Go after it. Pursue it. Connect w/others that are where you want to be. Ask questions. Learn. Grow. Change.
2.) Embrace your emotions. Don’t be afraid of them. Master them. Don’t let them master you. Use them. Be aware of them & how they’re affecting you and how they’re affecting others. Be emotionally agile.
3.) Create personal & professional Boundaries that serve you & allow you to be the best for the people you serve.
Super excited to post this full episode. Adam shares some very actionable & convicting insights to get the most out of life.
LinkTree: Adam Posner
https://linktr.ee/ajposner
Joe Mullings
https://www.linkedin.com/in/joemullings/
Adam’s Website
nhptalentgroup.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
What are you avoiding that you know would help you grow emotionally?
For me, I have been avoiding Amy Fiedler & Matthew Phifer, two of my favorite people that discuss skinny on Emotional Health.
Why? Why would I avoid two of my favorite content creators on emotions & EQ?
Are there any areas of your life that you’re avoiding tackling / workin on? Why?
Amy Fiedler IG:
https://www.instagram.com/amythelifecoach/
Matthew Phifer IG
https://www.instagram.com/mattphifercoaching/
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Some fascinating insights from Cory Rusin on the intersection & relationship between purpose & EQ.
We discussed some of the following topics:
Practical tips that not only apply to teenagers but also to adults in pursuing purpose.
How to think about & approach pursuing one’s purpose.
Some really good questions to ask oneself about pursuing one’s purpose.
The importance of self-awareness in the purpose process.
TikTok
@yourpurposeguide
IG
https://www.instagram.com/your.purposeguide/
Website
coryrusin.com
Podcast: Practical Purpose
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/practical-purpose/id1584869550
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
In this episode I share some interesting insights I’ve learned about energy levels & how they impact performance.
There are also a list of questions to help assess & increase awareness of your energy levels.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Such an awesome discussion w/Alden Mills! Here are some of the things we discussed:
Why have you been so successful?
Thinking - Feeling Loop:
Thought - electrical impulse
Feeling - magnetic charge
How well can you tell when something aligns with your values?
How in tune are you with how something feels in your body?
How would you counsel / coach yourself?
How intentional are you at dedicating time to reflecting?
Ego, armor, social mask - how is it serving you or hindering you?
How can we increase our self-awareness?
How can one discover their super powers?
How do you get past your own limits & unknowns?
What systems do you have to consistently evolve & refine your superpowers?
Focus funnel
The Belief Loop
Book:
Unstoppable Teams, Alden Mills
https://www.amazon.com/Unstoppable-Teams-Essential-High-Performance-Leadership/dp/0062876155/
beunstoppable.com
alden-mills.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Get ready for this one!
Lots of questions & some great exercises to do an Emotional Fitness “Test” / Audit of your Emotional Foundation.
Doing the Emotional Fitness Audit will increase your chances & likelihood of beginning & continuing your Emotional Fitness Program.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Have you ever been bullied? How did it affect you?
Did you still allow yourself to be bullied?
Remi learned some huge lessons from her emotional growth journey:
Stress management
Patience
Forgiveness
Boundaries
She shares how she learned each of those big lessons. Some, like me, she is still working on.
She gives some great progress on developing & enforcing her boundaries with some friends.
How well do you enforce your boundaries?
How productive are your boundaries?
How do your friends & family respond to your boundaries?
Remi Jones website
https://www.remitvmedia.com/
Remi Jones IG
https://www.instagram.com/remitvofficial/
Remi Jones Fb
https://www.facebook.com/remi.jones.397
Robert B. Foster Fb
https://www.facebook.com/rfoster74
Robert B. Foster IG
https://www.instagram.com/robert_b_foster/
How many people do you know have achieved mastery in their craft?
Tammy, our massage therapist, has 32 years of massage & over 32,000 bodies she’s massaged.
4th Degree Blackbelt, Professor Marcelo Motta, is 43 y/o and has been training Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for 30 years. He still competes at the highest levels of BJJ.
What can you be world class at?
How intentional are you at developing your craft?
What does mastery look like?
What is the relationship between emotional intelligence & mastery?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
This was a very transparent & vulnerable conversation with Curt. What made this such a great discussion was how self-aware Curt is & how much (emotional) work he’s already done.
He has a tremendous understanding of some of the very dark places he’s been through & the lessons he’s learned.
Perfectionism, depression, suicidal ideations, lessons in the valley were all things brought up & shared.
What lessons have you learned in your valleys?
IG
https://www.instagram.com/dadwork.curt/
The Village by Dad.Work
https://linktr.ee/dad.work
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
This episode was originally shot as a Facebook Live.
Emotional intelligence is comprised of self-awareness & self-management and social-awareness & social-management.
I share a couple insights from some of the executive clients I coach.
After decades of my own dysfunction, it is very important to have both the self-awareness AND the self-management.
Important note: No emotional management tool will work if you don’t use it.
There are some interesting generational observations w/emotional intelligence, too.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Wow…this was an amazingly insightful conversation with Matt! He shared some incredible thoughts & wisdom throughout our chat.
Here are some of the questions we discussed:
How did you develop your self-awareness?
How our emotional dysfunctions fit like a glove in certain relationships with others.
What % of people are emotionally unhealthy?
How hard is self-awareness for so many people?
What is one of your most effective, powerful tools to help someone get healthier emotionally.
How do you deal w/others who have a low EQ?
How do you begin advocating for yourself?
Why is there so much emotional unhealthiness in the Church?
He also shared some insights on the following relationship dysfunctions:
Codependent Narcissistic Dance
Anxious Avoidant Trap
Anxious attachment style
To Connect With Matt:
Www.mattphifercoaching.com
justaskmatt@mattphifercoaching.com
Matt Phifer YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/user/matthewlphifer
Matt Phifer Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/mattphifercoaching/
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at
https://www.eqgangster.com/
This episode is sponsored by Sha Sparks, Author & Podcast Host, The Power of Investing in People, part of the Lima Charlie Network. I share a (very) recent story where I reverted back to some old coping mechanisms (stuffing, avoiding, stewing & brooding) after I got triggered earlier this week.
Some things I discuss about my most recent valley:
- How my “stress plate” started to overflow.
- Emotions I was feeling / processing & needing to process
- Some factors contributing to my stress plate piling up.
- Some questions to ask to learn more intentionally in & from my valley.
The Power of Investing in People (Sha Sparks)
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-power-of-investing-in-people-with-sha-sparks/id1482282226
#Firestarters: How To Be a Spark of Hope in the Midst of Change (Sha Sparks, Author)
https://www.amazon.com/FIRESTARTERS-Spark-Hope-Midst-Change/dp/B09488FF5K/
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
This episode is sponsored by LimaCharlie Network. Visit https://www.limacharlienetwork.com/ to connect with other amazing Active Duty Military & Prior Service Podcasters & Influencers.
In this episode I share a couple insights from a recent Coaching client w/very high Emotional Intelligence scores.
How emotionally intelligent are you?
Where did you develop your EQ from?
When did you start your EQ journey?
Why did you start working on your emotional growth?
Consider doing a Habit / Behavior Audit to assess why you do what you do?
Are you coming from an emotionally healthy place? How do you know?
Are you performing for someone else, in attempts to receive their approval or validation?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
This episode is sponsored by the EQ Mafia, a safe, supportive, encouraging, empowering emotional fitness community committed to helping each other grow & heal to maximize our gifts & bring our best to the world. Visit eqgangster.com for more details.
In this episode, I discuss the characteristics and consequences of being a people-pleaser addict for 4 decades.
I also share some of the blessings & benefits of finally being on the other side of my people-pleasing addiction.
Finally, I share “how” to heal & grow from one’s people-pleasing addiction.
The other episodes where I discuss different aspects of people-pleasing addiction are in the following EQ Gangster episodes: #212, #210, #186 & #174.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
What a tremendous guy with an amazing story!
Surfer, International DJ, Entertainment & Tech CEO to crippling illness that left him bedridden for years back to a successful entrepreneur & founder of the tremendously valuable resource for men called Mens Groups.
Here are some of the questions we discussed about his journey:
What was the pivot point for you that led him to start taking ownership of his emotional growth?
How did you transform your identity from successful DJ & CEO to bedridden for years to successful entrepreneur again?
What’s one of the greatest emotional victories he’s experienced?
What does his emotional fitness program look like?
What are some things he’s learned about men & their relationship w/their emotions?
How do you create the right environment that creates safety & trust for people to open up & be transparent?
Men’s Group:
https://mensgroup.com/
Sean Galla:
https://mensgroup.com/sean-galla/
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Check out Episode 234 for Part 1 of discussing / addressing the valley.
In Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, I’m very comfortable in very uncomfortable positions. Why can’t I have that same mindset w/my emotions?
All things related to life’s valleys & funks.
Why am I so keen to run away from my valleys rather than lean into them?
How do you maximize your valleys?
How intentional are you at learning from your valleys?
How can you be more intentional at learning from your valleys?
What questions do you ask yourself in your valleys / funks?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/
Wow, such an engaging interview w/Jeff! Can’t wait for you all to hear his skinny! Here are some of the questions we discuss:
How did your childhood contribute to where you’re at today?
What issues do you feel your parents had that affected / impacted you?
How did you become emotionally intelligent?
How can 1 develop that ability to begin questioning ourselves & challenging ourselves?
How did you take ownership of your emotional health?
How can one get better at learning how to learn from our life experiences?
What am I actually doing to make the world a better place?
Who have I harmed recently?
How could I have been a better person recently?
Who did I not validate recently?
Who did I not appreciate recently?
What does your emotional fitness program look like?
Who do I have to be to allow my wife & daughter to be fully themselves?
Who do I have to be to create the right environment & culture to bring the best out of my family?
Jeff Gibbard Contact:
https://jgibbard.com/
The Lovable Leader by Jeff Gibbard
https://www.amazon.com/Lovable-Leader-Build-Respect-Kindness/dp/1774581760/
The Code of Trust, by Robin Dreeke
https://www.amazon.com/Code-Trust-American-Counterintelligence-Experts/dp/1250093465
The Will to Change by Bell Hooks
https://www.amazon.com/Will-Change-Men-Masculinity-Love/dp/0743456084/
The Shareable Podcast with Jeff Gibbard
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shareable/id1208198334
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
How would you rate your overall well being?
How would you define your overall well being?
What factors contribute to your well being?
In this fun interview, Traci shares her process for ensuring one creates the best, most effective well being possible through her proven, time-tested tools.
She puts a fun spin on “Wellness” & “Being” & talks about her principle of “Wellbeingness”.
She shares about discovering, designing, & daring.
She also discusses a concept called “VEXTEAR”:
Vision
External circumstances
Thoughts
Emotions
Actions
Results
Connect w/Traci at The Wellness Coach:
https://www.thewellness.coach/
Traci (LinkedIn):
https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracifisherwellnesscoach/
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
This episode is sponsored by ClassicalConversations.com.
How aware are you of your (personal & professional) boundaries?
How are your Boundaries serving you?
How effective are your Boundaries?
This episode is all about analyzing & evaluating your Boundaries to see if you might be due for a Boundaries overhaul.
Be sure to check out:
Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
https://www.christianbook.com/boundaries-when-take-control-your-life/henry-cloud/9780310351801/pd/351804
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
We discuss each of our respective stories created around food and how those stories impacted our lives.
Hannah & Ciara share how to change those potentially unhealthy stories to create a healthier more productive relationship w/food.
Where do your stories around food come from?
How are they serving you?
Hannah & Ciara share some great tips & advice on how to begin creating healthier relationships around food.
Food Freedom Confidence Fb:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1255502488221244
Food Freedom Confidence IG:
https://www.instagram.com/foodfreedomconfidence/
Hannah IG:
https://www.instagram.com/soul_filled_nutrition/
Hannah Fb:
https://www.facebook.com/hannah.hipps
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
This episode is sponsored by the EQ Mafia. If you’d like to join a safe, supportive, equipping community of like-minded leaders that are all working on our emotional fitness, check out the EQ Mafia. Visit eqgangster.com for more details.
One of the best ways to connect more effectively & more deeply with others is to validate & affirm their emotions.
How often do you validate & affirm others emotions?
Why don’t you do it more often?
When is the last time you felt someone validate & affirm your own emotions?
How could it change the culture of your organization?
What are the challenges of validating & affirming others emotions?
What are the benefits of validating & affirming others emotions?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Such a great conversation w/a very successful entrepreneur, speaker, executive coach, author & Air Force Veteran, Dom Faussette! Be prepared for a very real, eye-opening conversation that is akin to verbal smelling salts.
He shares some relatable, convicting stories of how he went from being suicidal to sucessful entrepreneur.
He also shares some very somber, convicting stories from when he was a Police Officer & some of the lessons he learned from growing up in the hood.
Here are some questions we discussed:
What grew you the most emotionally?
What emotional work have you had to do to get where you’re at now?
What caused you to start your emotional fitness program?
How did you learn to forgive yourself?
What emotional environment are we creating for our families?
Book: Think, React, Lead, by Dom Faussette
https://www.amazon.com/Think-React-Lead-Success-Accomplishments/dp/1548164178
www.thinkreactlead.com
thinkreactlead@gmail.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
This episode is sponsored by Lima Charlie Network. Visit limacharlienetwork.com for more details.
Whew, this story still nearly sends shivers down my spine when I reflect back on this moment in my past.
I’m so incredibly thankful to be on the other side of this story.
Emotions make terrible masters.
How in control are you of your emotions? How about when you get frustrated, upset or angry?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Have you ever been blinded by your loyalty to a toxic leader or toxic leadership environment?
Have you ever seen others blinded by their own loyalty even at the expense of how they’re getting treated by the toxic leader?
How did it feel to watch others get mistreated as a result of their own loyalty to the leader or the organization?
How is culture impacted by the EQ of leaders?
Work Culture Consultant, Brittinay Lenhart, shares some great thoughts from her own experience as a USAF Veteran & now entrepreneur, on how she helps leaders & organizations improve their corporate cultures
This episode is sponsored by the EQ Mafia.
What do you think the relationship between Resilience & EQ is?
What does the Army Ranger Creed have to do w/resilience or EQ?
Can you be resilient w/out having a high EQ?
Can you have a high EQ w/out being resilient?
In this episode I explore some of those questions.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Have you ever thought about how your emotional intelligence impacts or “interacts” with your Strengths?
How does operating in your Strengths impact/affect your energy levels?
What is your recovery time when operating in your Strengths vs when you’re not operating in your Strengths?
If you’re not emotionally intelligent, your Strengths can actually be weaknesses.
Learning how to utilize your Strengths is an excellent way to increase your Self-Awareness, a critical component of EQ.
BOOKS:
Now Discover Your Strengths
StrengthsFinder2.0
Go Put Your Strengths To Work
Dr. Weber started growing his emotional intelligence at 8 y/o playing a game w/his friends. We also discussed some of the following questions:
How important is mentorship & coaching in one’s EQ growth journey?
How does EQ impact effective coaching & mentorship relationships?
What are some common defense mechanisms?
Where does denial come from?
Where does our sense of self come from?
What have you learned about people?
How do we look for the good in others?
How important is emotional health to one’s life & performance?
4 pillars of life
biology
psychology
social
spiritual
Why is it so hard for people to work on what they need to work on?
If you don’t pick something to worship, it will pick you.
Family Care Center Colorado Springs
https://www.fcsprings.com/
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
This episode is sponsored by LimaCharlieNetwork.com.
Here are some great insights I’ve discovered on my own emotional growth journey and learning from my leadership coaching clients’ emotional growth journey’s:
Here is the first 10 lessons. The final 10 lessons are on the podcast / YouTube episode.
1.) You are not your emotions.
2.) Your emotions are real.
3.) Your emotions are data / information.
4.) Your emotions are not who you are.
5.) When feeling intense emotions, don’t say “I AM angry. I AM sad. I AM depressed.”
Instead, say “I am FEELING angry. I am FEELING sad.”
6.) You CAN behave differently than how you feel. You can separate how you feel from how you behave.
7.) You can grow your EQ.
8.) Feelings / emotions change.
9.) Emotions aren’t right or wrong or good or bad. Emotions are just data. It’s just information. They may
10.) Most people are not aware of when they need to recharge or take care of themselves.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
This episode is sponsored by LimaCharlieNetwork.com.
Jean shares how her father sent her to the U.S. from Colombia when she was just 15 years old.
She was in 4 different high schools & then joined the Navy.
She encountered some toxic male leadership in Corporate America & finally said “enough is enough” when she started her own company.
She shares her operating principles as a CEO and how she ensures a culture of safety, value & respect.
She openly shares her EQ strength & the area she feels she has some room to grow in.
Her self-care plan is one of her keys to success as well.
Jean’s Company, TI Verbatim Consulting Inc.:
https://www.tiverbatim.com/
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
This episode is exclusively sponsored by Magic Mind! Visit http://magicmind.co/noble for more details! Enter ”noble20” for a 20% off your purchase of the world’s first productivity beverage!
I share some interesting insights that Dr. Mark Mayfield shared with the EQ Mafia tonight.
What is the cognitive impact of our emotions?
How is our thinking, productivity, and quality of our decisions impacted by our emotions?
What is the impact of the quantum energy of our emotions?
When are you the most productive?
How do your emotions impact your productivity?
How / when do our emotions impact those around us?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Julian shares his fascinating story about how he crushed every academic endeavor he pursued from UC Berkeley, to New York University to Harvard Law School and even into being a successful corporate attorney…he then found himself wrapped up in consistent & overwhelming anxiety. He ended up quitting cold turkey as an attorney to seek how he could get mentally & emotionally healthier.
What questions are you asking yourself about your mental & emotional health?
How frequently do you judge yourself?
How does judging yourself impact you & others?
Resources discussed:
Ginger Mental Health Coaching:
https://www.ginger.com/
Enlightenment Now, by Steven Pinker
https://www.amazon.com/Enlightenment-Now/dp/0525559027
Maybe You Should Talk To Someone, by Lori Gottlieb
https://www.amazon.com/Maybe-You-Should-Talk-to-Someone-audiobook/dp/B07PYJB9Z9/
Julian Sarafian
https://www.linkedin.com/in/juliansarafian/
IG
https://www.instagram.com/juliansarafian/
Fb
https://www.facebook.com/julian.sarafian
YT
https://www.youtube.com/user/thebigjaylian
TT
https://www.tiktok.com/@juliansarafian
This is an episode I’d recommend checking out on YouTube because of my backdrop in Buena Vista, CO!
Whew, this was a rough weekend for me due to the emotions hitting me hard about our teenage daughter growing up so quickly.
In this episode, I share what I did to help me calm down emotionally from all those big emotions and also some thoughts on parenting & boundaries as our children get older.
If you would like to check out the events at Spring Canyon Conference Center, visit https://www.springcanyon.org/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
How many of you were living your dream life at 25 years old?
O’licia is living her best life & NOT keeping up with the Joneses.
O’licia shares some amazing insights as a young 25 y/o entrepreneur & podcast host about how she protects herself from society and manages to still march to the beat of her own drum.
She also has an amazing testimony about her therapy experience.
Diaries of High Achievers Podcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-diaries-of-high-achievers/id1584703372
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
This episode is sponsored by Filter It Through a Brain Cell podcast. For more info, visit https://www.filteritthroughabraincell.com/.
I kick off this episode with a funny Winter Ranger School story during the Mountain Phase. It was a humorous interaction with one of my Ranger Instructors.
How tuned in are you to learning?
What’s the relationship between EQ & learning?
How intentional are you at learning?
What leadership insights have you learned?
What have you learned about yourself in leadership?
How is your EQ helping your leadership?
How is your EQ hurting your leadership?
The Ranger Instructor who took care of me in the above humorous story dedicated over 25 years of service to our country and retired as a Sergeant Major. If you’d like to connect with this wonderful man & leader, you can find him on LinkedIn: Dale Roberts: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dale-roberts-765306a6/
This episode is sponsored by the EQ Mafia. If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at eqgangster.com.
We discuss some great points that Alex covers in his book, “Identity”. See below for his book details.
Here are some of the topics we discuss:
Eudaimonia
Trauma
Emotional regulation ideas
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu
Emotional reframing techniques
Gratitude journaling
I definitely recommend his book!
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join the EQ Mafia at eqgangster.com.
Books:
Identity: Connect With Your Authentic Being. Know Who You Are, Be Who You Are. by Alexander Gil
https://www.amazon.com/Identity-Connect-your-authentic-being/dp/1925471586/
Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Dr. Travis Bradberry and Dr. Jean Greaves
https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Intelligence-2-0-Travis-Bradberry/dp/0974320625
This episode is sponsored by Filter It Through a Braincell podcast. Visit filteritthroughabraincell.com for more info & to learn how to think critically!
This is a story of how a young “successful” millionaire is destroying his business by having a low EQ.
You cannot outrun a low EQ.
A low EQ will catch up w/you.
How will your EQ and/or your partner’s EQ impact anything you attempt to do together…whether it’s business, a joint venture, a project, a military mission or a missions trip?
Book:
Emotionally Intelligent Leadership by Daniel Goleman
Join the EQ Mafia to level up your emotional fitness at eqgangster.com.
This episode is sponsored by https://www.limacharlienetwork.com/.
I discuss some things to consider if you are interested in becoming some type of Coach or Therapist.
Why are you interested in something like that?
What value would you bring to your clients?
Who would your target audience be?
There is a massive disclaimer that I would love to encourage / challenge you with if this is a career field you’re wanting to pursue.
And it’s so worth it!
I absolutely love being an EQ Leadership Coach! It’s so incredibly rewarding!
Flatter Inc.: https://www.flatterinc.com/
2 Roads Leadership: https://tworoadsleadership.com/
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join our EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Jahmaal’s father struggled with drugs & alcohol.
How did your childhood affect you…not only as a child, but also as an adult?
Have you processed the emotional injuries you received during your childhood?
Your childhood IS impacting you…are you aware of it?
Jahmaal shares some powerful insights that he learned from his challenging childhood.
Some of his connections gave me insight into my own childhood & people-pleasing addiction.
Books:
When People Are Big & God Is Small
7 Habits of Highly Successful People
Boundaries
Jahmaal Marshall
IG: @jluvstolisten
TT: @jluvstolisten
Fb: https://www.facebook.com/jahmaal.marshall
LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jahmaalmarshall/
https://listenthenspeak.com/
This episode is sponsored by Lima Charlie Network. Learn more at LimaCharlieNetwork.com.
Does first time obedience in parenting lead to people-pleasing in children?
Does first time obedience prevent a child from having free will & independence?
What leads to people-pleasing?
How can we be more intentional at validating & affirming others’ emotions–our spouse, children, co-workers & teams?
What do you think is the relationship between first-time parenting & emotional intelligence?
Has self-sabotage ever impacted your decisions or blessings?
Do you feel worthy?
Tremendous blessings…how do you handle them?
Are you freely able to accept all that God & life have for you?
Such a fun interview!
Some amazing life lessons from when her purse was stolen.
How she maximizes failure.
The role EQ plays in finding Executive talent.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join our EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
A brief discussion about my wins & failures of 2021 & how I thought about them as a former people-pleaser addict.
My failures in 2021:
https://www.facebook.com/noble.gibbens/posts/10158974881152968
My wins in 2021:
https://www.facebook.com/noble.gibbens/posts/10158958955912968
The McKinsey & Company article I discuss about how women managers are more emotionally available & supportive in 5 different areas than their male manager counterparts: https://www.mckinsey.com/business-functions/people-and-organizational-performance/our-insights/married-to-the-job-no-more-craving-flexibility-parents-are-quitting-to-get-it?cid=other-soc--mip-mck-oth-2112--&sid=6164890922&linkId=147081391
Our emotional health directly impacts our ability to be emotionally present & available for our loved ones & colleagues.
How often are you checking in on the emotional well-being of your colleagues & loved ones?
What is the impact of your emotional health on those around you?
This episode is sponsored by LimaCharlieNetwork.com, an amazing team of active duty & military veteran podcasters! Check out more info at https://www.limacharlienetwork.com/.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join our EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
I share some of my lessons learned while in Speculator, NY at Camp of the Woods for a speaking engagement.
We spoke on the impact of emotional intelligence on relationships & personality.
There was even a triggering experience that barely registered on my radar. It would have normally sent me through the roof.
So thankful for the emotional fitness journey God has had me on.
If you’re looking for a fun camp for your family or your children, definitely check out the beautiful Camp of the Woods in Speculator, NY: https://www.camp-of-the-woods.org/
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join our EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Are you aware when your passion can overtake your self & social awareness?
How did it make you feel when you ran into a very passionate person who didn’t know when to shut up & stop talking?
How does it make you feel when you’re in conversation with someone who never asks you any questions?
How often do you interrupt others in conversation–family, friends & co-workers?
How does it feel when someone interrupts you?
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join our EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
This episode is sponsored by ReachUp magazine! You can find out more about this non-profit, ReachUp at https://reachupmag.org/.
A humorous Brazilian Jiu Jitsu story leads us into a discussion about our effectiveness w/goal setting & how we can become even more effective at goal setting in 2022.
I encourage you all to start a consistent, healthy emotional fitness program that I call Go A.P.E.D., in 2022.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join our EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
This episode is sponsored by LimaCharlieNetwork.com, an amazing team of active duty & military veteran podcasters! Check out more info at https://www.limacharlienetwork.com/.
Get ready! This episode has a lot of great, questions to use during your After Action Review (AAR) of this past year.
Reflecting on the questions in this episode will help you gather insights & lessons learned from 2021 & begin 2022 with a great emotional awareness & maybe even game plan on how to make 2022 your most effective year yet!
I encourage you to journal your answer to these questions & even begin an intentional, consistent emotional fitness program in 2022.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join our EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Whew, this was an emotional episode for me.
I share my thoughts on the importance of grieving & mourning loved ones and a few practical steps on how to grieve & mourn in a healthy productive way.
There are also a handful of challenging questions to reflect on about your own emotional availability for those closest to you when they’re going through difficult times.
Also a thought on what you want your family legacy to be.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join our EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Kathy asked me some really interesting questions that were great to reflect on over the past 200 episodes.
I’d love to hear how some of you would answer some of these questions, too!
Sign up for our New Year Emotional Intelligence 5-Day Challenge, too! Link is below.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join our EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
What’s the goal of emotional intelligence?
How teachable do you think you are?
How does your level of teachableness impact your performance?
Two components in the EQi Assessment that make the EQ assessment unique: the Decision Making Composite & the Stress Management Composite. The EQ sub-element, Reality Testing, is in the Decision Making component.
How accurate is your Reality Testing? How is your Reality Testing impacting or even possibly negatively impacting your ability to learn & grow?
How are you consistently growing your emotional intelligence?
Very powerful leadership / learning exercise shared in this episode: “Write down all the areas you know the most about.”
Leadership & Self-Deception
https://www.amazon.com/Leadership-Self-Deception-Getting-Large-Print/dp/1459626184/
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join our EQ Mafia at https://www.eqgangster.com/.
Two conversations led to two massive breakthroughs that have eluded me for at least 4 years.
One breakthrough came from a podcast interview I did w/@amythelifecoach where she helped uncover why I have a tendency to cut people out of my life if they violate one of my boundaries.
The other breakthrough came via a conversation w/my wife who helped me understand what has been hindering my learning capacity.
How good are you at discovering the origin story of your emotions & behaviors?
How intentional are you at learning?
How well do you learn?
What could you change to be an ever better learner?
Amy The Life Coach (Instagram): @amythelifecoach
Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud
https://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/0310247454
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join our EQ Mafia at eqgangster.com.
Have you ever done a Genogram before?
This episode shares a phenomenal exercise to better understand some of the reasons of why you do what you do.
A “genogram” is a family “map”.
It’s a great visual way to better understand your family history and how your family history may be impacting your leadership & your personal & professional behaviors that may not be healthy or productive for you anymore.
I learned this exercise from Peter & Geri Scazzero in their One Day Emotionally Healthy Discipleship course.
Emotionally Healthy Discipleship
https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join our EQ Mafia at eqgangster.com.
d Stover is a West Point grad, Class of 1996 & played on the Army football team that went 4 - 0 against the Naval Academy. He’s a successful business manager and is absolutely amazing at relationships. He shares some excellent insights about maintaining important relationships.
Be your authentic, genuine self.
Invest in relationships.
Be relationally curious.
Put yourself in other people's shoes.
Let people know you’re thinking of them.
Ed Stover (LinkedIn): https://www.linkedin.com/in/ed-stover-4b170a6/
Here’s a resource Ed recommends to show people you care about them:
Spoonfulofcomfort.com
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join our EQ Mafia at eqgangster.com.
This episode shares a recent insight into one of my childhood emotional origin stories around my strong desire for Independence.
Independence is one of the 15 elements of Emotional Intelligence.
My Independence score on my EQi Assessment was very high, but I never understood why.
To begin healing an area in your life, even if it is a “good area” (like strong independence), discovering the origin story of that area is critical.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join our EQ Mafia at eqgangster.com.
Rob Actis is the author of the #1 bestselling book The Law of Action. A lifelong go-getter, action taker and serial entrepreneur, Rob used the Law of Action to achieve his lifelong dream of speaking on TV, radio, and, to become a successful audiobook narrator of over 30 titles available on Audible.com.
He shares his journey where he discovered his purpose & passion very early on in life & he pursued it relentlessly while encountering numerous challenges & difficulties. His daughter almost died. He almost died. He has created the life he loves & thrives in. He shares some fascinating stories & lessons about the power of words, mindfulness & of all things, hugs. Strap in for this fun & exciting interview w/Rob!
Rob Actis (LinkedIn): https://www.linkedin.com/in/robactis/
Rob Actis (Instagram): https://www.instagram.com/robactis/
Rob Actis (Facebook): https://www.facebook.com/RobActisAuthor
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join our EQ Mafia at eqgangster.com.
Courage is the foundation of leadership.
Where does courage come from?
Where does drive or charisma come from?
Is leadership a function of nature or nurture?
If you’re not uncomfortable, you’re not growing.
I’m a life long-learner.
As a life-long learner, I’m always a novice.
How have you gotten comfortable in leadership?
Leadership continuum:
Technical component
Cognitive component
Emotional component
Do I want to engage in Emotionally Intelligent leadership?
You can choose to stay in the Technical & Cognitive components.
Am I willing to build & sustain relationships with other human beings purposely?
When you coach well, you coach the person, not the problem.
What do you believe & perceive about yourself?
What’s the emotional well-being of your team?
What’s the emotional well-being of your team?
What do we believe in?
How are we going to do this together?
Where are we going together?
What legacy do you want to leave?
What questions do you ask yourself on a regular basis?
Goals
Objectives
Key results
Am I exhibiting the emotional intelligence I need to in order to be the leader I want to be?
Am I being gracious?
Am I being humble?
Am I being bold?
Am I being humble?
Am I teaching others?
Flatter Inc.
https://www.flatterinc.com/
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join our EQ Mafia at eqgangster.com
Some relationships will produce a return & some won’t & that’s ok. Invest in relationships anyway.
Does your time budget reflect the value you say you put on relationships?
Be sure to establish healthy boundaries in both your personal & professional relationships. The consequences can be minuscule or catastrophic.
Don’t underestimate or overlook the value of relationships.
Healthy relationships come from emotionally healthy individuals.
It takes emotional Intelligence to maximize effectiveness in relationships.
Most leaders have room to grow in relationships (whether they know or admit or not).
Hubris hurts relationships.
In what relationships do you experience consistent disappointment? Do you have unspoken or unrealistic expectations?
Being fully emotionally present in the relationship adds tremendous value to the relationship.
Your stories & beliefs about relationships will impact your behavior in relationships.
Your stories & beliefs about yourself will impact your behavior in relationships.
Love your neighbor as yourself only works if you love yourself. You can love your neighbor w/out loving yourself. Ask me how I know. It’s much more powerful when you love your neighbor & also love yourself. That change in me has come from my consistent emotional fitness program the past 4 years.
Certain relationships can feed your soul. Discover why & invest in those relationships.
Certain relationships are exhausting & soul sucking. Discover why & establish boundaries.
Not everyone who needs help wants help.
Asking genuine questions is critical in discovering the other person.
Relationships are priceless & are, therefore, worth the (consistent) investment.
Who is someone you can add value to right now? Reach out.
Who is someone who can add value to you? Reach out.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join our EQ Mafia at eqgangster.com.
It is exciting learning about & discovering people.
Active listening (w/your whole body) is rare.
Every person you meet is an opportunity to grow, learn & sharpen your listening skills (&, therefore, empathy).
Every conversation is an opportunity to make someone feel important, seen, heard & valued with intentional, active, curious listening.
How am I structuring my life to match my core values?
We’re not wealthy but I’m so thankful we’re Billionaires regarding time. We’ve been blessed to spend 17 years working from home & our 14 y/o daughter has never known her parents to have a 9-5 office job.
Create the life you want…around time…& your values. You can have an amazing quality of life w/out being a millionaire.
1.) Who do you want to spend time with? (specifically, list)
A.) Family
B.) Friends
C.) Business partners / colleagues
2.) How much time do you want spend with the them?
A.) Daily
B.) Weekly
C.) Monthly
D.) Qrtly
E.) Yearly
3.) What type of time do you want to spend with them? (Based on your & their love languages.)
A.) Relaxing time
B.) Activities
I’m so ridiculously thankful we created the time with our family & made the time to come to almost all of our class reunions.
If God puts someone on your heart, reach out to them. There’s probably a reason God put them on your heart. A number of my classmates reached out to me during some recent valleys & it was a priceless blessing to be on the receiving end of their kindness & time.
Your network is your net worth.
See if there’s a way you can add value to your circle or classmates.
Trust among relationships is critical, personally & professionally.
Verbalizing someone’s specific strengths is empowering for the recipient & adds to your relational bank account.
Hearing people’s stories (w/out interrupting) is inspiring for both the story teller & the listener.
Everyone has a story.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join our EQ Mafia at eqgangster.com.
How important relationships are—mentally & emotionally.
Relationships are good for the soul.
The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. -Michael Fletcher
relationship audit
When you sow into relationships w/out expectations, you can reap 30, 60, 100 fold. I unexpectedly reaped so much this weekend. So many of my amazing classmates made feel so seen, loved, valued & appreciated. I will be forever grateful.
The right relationships can change your mood. They feel loving, accepting, nonjudgmental.
Unhealthy or toxic relationships can also change your mood.
Judgmental relationships feel very oppressive to me. After being in transactional, conditional, judgmental relationships for over 20 years, I no longer choose to be in those relationships…regardless of the possible financial benefits.
A hug can change a person’s entire demeanor, for the better.
Smiles are contagious.
The quality & caliber of my classmates is mind boggling.
A small unexpected gesture can be life transforming. One of my classmates went up to the mic in a room full of about 500 people & asked for me by name. It was humbling & made me feel valued & appreciated. It was humbling & I was so thankful. (Thank you, Kelli.)
Life is short.
Time flies.
The most important currency is time (to me). Some value money more but say time is most important. Observe actions over words.
You have no idea who’s watching you.
You have no idea the impact you’re making on someone else’s life. A handful of my classmates shared times when I had impacted them positively & I had no idea it was impactful to them. It was humbling.
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join our EQ Mafia at eqgangster.com.
This episode is for anyone that travels, has any type of long distance relationships, deploys or goes on TDY and wants effective ideas on how to continue growing your relationships even while apart.
Please share this w/anyone you know who also might fit into this category.
These are excellent actionable steps that have been game changing for me during my travels & deployment.
Thank you for rating, reviewing, subscribing & sharing our podcast & YouTube channel!
If you’re ready to take your emotional growth to the next level, join our EQ Mafia at eqgangster.com.
Bullied, attempted suicide.
Became a Youth Minister.
Got his Masters In Counseling
Worked in the Inner City w/Gangs & people w/substance abuse
Earned his PhD in Clinical Counseling & Mental Health
Founder of Mayfield Cousnling Centers
Author of The Path Out of Loneliness book
https://www.amazon.com/Path-out-Loneliness-Fostering-Connection/dp/1641583398
He discussed:
Avoidance
Attunement
Attachment
Learning how to be old friends w/your emotions.
His book discusses a combination of mind-body-spirit.
Loneliness can feel like not being seen, known, valued, or loved.
Feeling like we have no safe people around us.
There has been a 15.7% increase in deaths relating to “relational diseases”.
Our veins are more constricted when we’re stressed.
People getting out of the ICU quicker, had people by their bedside in the hospital.
Our body systems need each other.
RECOMMENDATIONS:
Important to have someone further along in the journey than you.
🔥Dr. Irving Gallum
Sometimes it’s ok to have a paid friend.
Mental health IS emotional health.
Counseling session maybe 6 - 8 weeks. Maybe it’s longer.
Emotions like Christmas lights bundled. Takes time to untangle.
Definition of loneliness comes from our experience with it.
Language creates culture.
Loneliness: State of being unseen mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually,
The path out of loneliness starts w/taking ownership.
Jesus let us sit w/the tension.
Science is finally catching up w/the Bible.
Narcism.
Power
Control
Church should be a triage unit of care for the lost & the hurting.
How do we suffer better?
Where did language creep in that suffering & pain is bad / negative?
There are not “good” & “bad” emotions.
The only way we can grow is through suffering.
Pain & suffering provides clarity & priorities.
How old are they emotionally?
What you see is NOT what you get.
drmayfield.com
@thedrmayfield
If you’re ready to level up your emotional fitness program, check out the EQ Mafia at eqgangster.com.
I’m embarrassed, frustrated, exposed, sad, disappointed, upset at my behavior on a recent Professional Coaching call w/a cohort of about 15-20 other professionals. I share the story in this episode.
Where do you seek approval?
From whom do you seek approval?
From where do you seek validation?
From where do you get your value?
How valuable do you think you are?
Who impacts your mood?
What impacts your mood?
What is your identity?
Who are you?
It’s ok to recognize how far you have to go, but don’t forget how far you’ve already come. Acknowledge & accept both.
Thank you for rating, reviewing, subscribing & sharing!
If you’re ready to level up your emotional fitness program, check out the EQ Mafia at eqgangster.com.
Grief Relief Ministries
https://www.griefreliefministries.com/
Shut Up And GRIND with Robert B. Foster (Listen to Ep. 164):
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shut-up-and-grind-with-robert-b-foster/id1481113049
How do you define grace?
What is grace?
What does grace mean to you?
What impacts grace?
How much grace do you have for others?
How much grace do you have for yourself?
How good are you at forgiving others?
How good are you at forgiving yourself?
1 Corinthians 3:16-17
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Matthew 6:14-15
Why do people who love Jesus have the same exact divorce rate, suicide rate, depression, addiction, domestic abuse, and mental health issues as their non-Jesus-loving counterparts?
Can you read the Bible & lose 50 lbs & get 6-pack abs or is their more than just reading the Bible to be totally healthy?
Will God bless your physical body if you choose to eat Ben & Jerry’s every night?
How intentional are you at growing your whole “body” comprised of spirit, mind & body?
Thoughts came from a recent podcast I was interviewed on called “Discovering Grace” at pressedcoal.com.
Thank you for rating, reviewing, subscribing & sharing!
If you’re ready to level up your emotional fitness program, check out the EQ Mafia at eqgangster.com.
Insights from our first EQ Mafia Membership training.
How is your EQ impacting or limiting your personality AND your strengths?
There are emotionally healthy AND unhealthy versions of each personality.
How emotionally healthy are you & how is that impacting how you show up to the world?
How is your emotional health impacting or limiting your strengths?
Could you have even stronger strengths if you were healthier emotionally?
To begin your emotional fitness program, join the EQ Mafia at eqgangster.com/mafia.
Such a fun interview with Amy!
She shares her backstory & how her tumultuous relationship with her family ultimately led her to developing amazing self-awareness and into a successful career as a Life Coach.
Some of the excellent points she shares in this episode:
- How to develop self-awareness
- How to differentiate if you need a therapist or a coach
- What to look for in finding a therapist or a coach
- Getting curious about yourself
- The effects of observing a parent modeling personal accountability (or not)
Follow Amy at:
Instagram: @amythelifecoach
Website: amyfiedler.com
Join the EQ Mafia at eqgangster.com
Free Course at eqgangster.com
EQ Mafia Opening Soon!
Have you ever had a coach?
When?
For how long?
Do a COACHING AUDIT
What was the impactful coach you’ve ever had?
What impact did they have on you?
What lessons did you learn from them?
Why were they so impactful for you?
Do you currently have a coach?
Why?
Why not?
Do you feel you’re operating at your max potential?
If not, why wouldn’t you seek out a coach?
Do the top business people & athletes & artists in the world have coaches?
I would argue they all do.
Why not you?
What would you be willing to pay for a coach?
Why would you want a coach?
What impact could a coach have in your life?
What areas of your life would you want to work on?
How serious are you about growing & changing?
Find a coach.
Shop around.
The difference between where you’re at & where you want to be could be a coach that could help unlock areas within you that could take you to the next level of your life.
For me…as a coach, I view myself as a miner of precious gems & hidden treasure.
Every client / leader of mine that I coach it is a privilege to help them discover & refine their gifts, strengths, passions & superpowers.
You may be the next Einstein or Harriet Tubman or Rosa Parks or Elon Musk or Pablo Picasso or Martin Luther King Jr. or Beethoven.
A coach could help you discover the hidden treasure in your life that you are meant to bring to the world to make it & leave it a better place. They could help you discover your purpose. What would that be worth to you? What value would you place on that?
I’ve had coaches throughout my life. Some have been amazing & life changing. Others have taught me what kind of leader I don’t want to be. Both are valuable.
How do coaches pull out your hidden treasure?
Powerful, effective, insightful questions that challenge you to view yourself through a different lens & challenge you to do some deep reflection & digging.
One of the other powerful benefits of a coach is that it forces you to invest in yourself for an undistracted period of time—30min, an hour, 1.5 hrs.
When is the last time you’ve done that?
Genuinely taken an hour every week or month to reflect & think deeply about your gifts, strengths & superpowers & how you can be even more impactful?
You are worth the investment in yourself.
Find a coach that can help you reach your full potential.
The world’s greatest have coaches. Why not you? You have greatness w/in you.
EQ MAFIA & Free EQ101 Course, visit eqgangster.com
Lesson 1: A Real Estate Deal Gone Bad! (Don’t lie. Can your character withstand scrutiny?)
Lesson 2: From Wuss to Warrior: Peter had previously disowned & denied Jesus 3x & then shortly thereafter, he began re-walking in his calling / purpose by healing many & bringing many into a relationship w/God.
Lesson 3: Do you even lift bro? Are you prepared for mental, emotional & spiritual conflict? The time to train in each of those areas is not once you’re already in the fight. You want to train prior to ever stepping into the arena.
Visit EQGangster.com for our FREE EQ101 Course where we provide an overview of emotional intelligence & discuss the 4 deadly sins of emotions.
Some fun & insightful questions from an 18-year old young lady in my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) class:
She asked me “So, Noble, what do you do?”
“I teach emotional intelligence.”
“What does that mean?” she asked.
I responded, “I increase the capacity of high achievers.”
She asked, “What’s a high achiever?”
She asked the following questions:
- How does someone know if they need to work on their emotional intelligence?
- How many people need to work on EQ?
- How can you determine whether or not someone needs to work on EQ?
- Can you tell just by looking at somebody if they need EQ or if they need to work on their EQ?
- Where would someone start working on their EQ?
- What does an EQ Fitness Program look like?
What questions do you have about EQ?
How often do you ask questions about EQ?
How does EQ impact your curiosity about EQ?
Visit EQGangster.com for our FREE EQ101 Course where we provide an overview of emotional intelligence & discuss the 4 deadly sins of emotions.
Genesis 4:1-17
Who would you rather be, Cain or Abel?
We are all much more like Cain than Abel.
That story is in the Bible to tell us we’re much more like Cain than Abel…now what are we gonna do about it?
American Indian Cherokee Parable of the 2 wolves
God isn’t true because the Bible said so. The Bible is true because God said so.
Hold my own beliefs up to objective Truth regularly. It’s not about what I want to be true.
Culture seeps in & tries to dilute truth.
I want to believe the God that is, not the God of my imagination.
It’s not true because the Bible said so, the Bible said so because it’s true.
When you’re in a conversation, it’s not a debate.
In debate, the goal is to crush your enemy…not in conversation.
Conversations are much more valuable than debate.
Does God have different principles that He values more?
What makes a great conversation?
We want to move them from feelings to thought to truth.
You can’t have a conversation with someone not willing to be persuaded.
-you have to truly understand their perspective.
If you don’t understand the other person’s perspective, how can you have a legitimate judgment on their stance / opinion / perspective?
It’s weak sauce to have judgments & perspectives that we haven’t thought through. & most people have beliefs & biases that are half-baked.
We have to wrestle with God IOT go deeper with God.
I need to be interested in seeking to understand the truth beauty & goodness of my opponent.
How do I attend better?
How do we teach others to attend better?
You have to be willing to be persuaded IOT think more deeply.
What are you willing to be persuaded about?
What are you not willing to be persuaded about?
Should there be an area I’m not willing to be persuaded about?
What’s at risk with being willing to be persuaded about something?
How does our EQ affect / impact our beliefs?
Book:
Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Peter Scazzero
https://www.amazon.com/Emotionally-Healthy-Spirituality-Impossible-Spiritually/dp/0310348498/
Visit EQGangster.com for our FREE EQ101 Course where we provide an overview of emotional intelligence & discuss the 4 deadly sins of emotions.
How many physical environments have you been to that have gotten you emotional?
Where was it?
Why did you get emotional?
What season of your life was it?
I completely got emotional at Lake Cotton near Buena Vista, CO in the mountains as the yellow flickering Aspen leaves were changing.
It was almost a transformative experience just being there.
One of the most powerful environments I’ve ever been in.
Even felt closer to God there.
Where do you feel most grounded? Most centered?
It can be a state of mind & spiritual state, but also a physical environment.
What environment do you perform the best in?
What environment brings the best out of you?
Another episode where I discuss this topic is Ep. 155.
Visit EQGangster.com for our FREE EQ101 Course where we provide an overview of emotional intelligence & discuss the 4 deadly sins of emotions.
Ep 155 What Makes You Come Alive? (Red Lodge, MT)
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/eq-for-entrepreneurs/id1497445408?i=1000529412276
I was shocked at the amount of progress one of my corporate clients had in the span of just a week.
He demonstrated total ownership of his lack of emotional intelligence and took action on every single EQ exercise I recommended.
He created tremendous momentum in his emotional growth in just a week.
The EQ Mafia will be launching this month!
If you’re new to EQ, check out our free course giving an overview to Emotional Intelligence and the 4 Deadly Sins of Emotions at https://www.eqgangster.com/
So thankful for all of you.
What are the consequences of being ungrateful?
What are the consequences of not being mindful or present?
Depressed? Spending too much time in the past.
Anxious or stressed? Spending too much time in the future.
Mindful & present is the goal in getting a solid grasp of reality.
Control what you can control:
Actions
Attitude
Gratitude
What is the relationship between gratitude & confidence?
What are you grateful for?
EQG Ep 117 The Gratitude Bridge to Confidence from West Point’s Director for the Center of Enhanced Performance, COL Darcy Schnack
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/eq-for-entrepreneurs/id1497445408?i=1000512038448
Check out our FREE EQ101 Course w/the 4 Deadly Sins of Emotions at eqgangster.com
1.) Who was the first cut God made from the Israeli army & why?
2.) Who ultimately remained on Gideon’s army of 300 and why?
3.) Did God surround Gideon w/potentially fearless men because Gideon was afraid?
4.) Gideon appeared emotionally controlled by fear almost all the way up to the Israeli army’s attack.
5.) Bonus--what impact did Gideon’s lack of understanding his identity have on his leadership?
Check out our FREE EQ101 Course w/the 4 Deadly Sins of Emotions at eqgangster.com
Do I still care what people think of me as a recovering people-pleaser addict?
How did people-pleasing dilute my clear-cut goals for the future?
How important is goal-setting to you now as a recovering people-pleaser?
Would you say emotional & personal growth are the gateways to accomplishing any goal in your life?
How personality impacts goal-setting.
Financial independence w/out emotional independence isn’t independence.
Financial freedom w/out emotional freedom isn’t freedom.
We’re on the receiving end of each other’s EQ (or lack thereof) every day in every relationship.
Unaddressed emotional issues don’t get better over time, they actually compound.
Emotionally healthy people help heal other people emotionally.
Thank you so much for sharing, subscribing, rating & reviewing on our podcast & YouTube channel!
Check out our FREE EQ101 Course w/the 4 Deadly Sins of Emotions at eqgangster.com
The Llama Lounge Podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-llama-lounge/id1507339010
I’ve had a few of my college classmates reach out to me completely out of the blue and share some kind words that have been rays of sunshine on a cloudy day.
Emotional / mental health to receive
emotional / mental health to give
When is the last time you sent an encouraging message, text, letter, quote, thought to a friend out of the blue.
Try it.
Do it right now or as soon as you finish this episode.
Text someone
Call someone
Pray for someone
Encourage someone
Share a Bible verse
Share an encouraging quote or meme
I’m going to share each comment with you.
1.) Marc, The Texas Boot Company
Praying for you, Noble. Whatever you are going through, I hope you realize that we all fall short, but God loves us anyway. You have a lot of people that love you, too. Just for who you are. That's enough. Love you, and praying for you. May you realize the gift that you are just for being you. Hang in there, brother.
2.) Chuck, Math Professor at West Point
Brother. Sending a quick note to reinforce that I have thought of you often recently. You are a huge role model for me and I often think….what would Noble do as I face things. Thanks for sharing all of your wisdom and kindness with the World. Cheers.
3.) TJ, Episode #95
Read your post. I’m here man. Let’s try and connect. You have meant so much to me and my journey that I want to make sure you know I am so grateful for you and want to let you know how damn awesome you are.
Big day today, bro. Huge. Started filming! Had to wear the West Point shirt to mark the occasion!
4.) Eric, Ep #75, COO Big Christian Family Camp in NY
Dude, you have a gift for counseling/mentoring.
5.) USAF NCO Trainer, Tripp, Podcast Host of “The Shadows Podcast” & “Rise From The Shadows” Podcast
Handwritten note w/his podcast patch
6.) USAF Chief Master Sergeant (E-9), Joe, Podcast Host of “The Llama Lounge” Llama Leadership Podcast & author of #Firestarters
Asked me to be on his podcast again.
7.) Alex sent me his new book out of the blue called Identity, Connect With Your Authentic Being.
8.) Jeff, CEO of a Leadership Company paid for me to get Certified in The 5 Behaviors of a Cohesive Team Instructor course.
When is the last time you’ve received something like that?
What impact did it have on you?
How did you feel?
Were you thankful / grateful?
Did you tell them how much you appreciated it?
Don’t underestimate the power of a kind word, kind thought, kind gesture.
Act on it immediately.
Don’t have any expectation on how it’s received or if they even respond.
A 30 second act of a text or a 5 min phone call or a 3 min Marco Polo video message…can absolutely make someone’s day.
The power of thoughtfulness
The power of kindness
The power of gratefulness
The power of specificity
The power of encouragement
—————————————————
We’re on the receiving end of each other’s EQ (or lack thereof) every day in every relationship.
Unaddressed emotional issues don’t get better over time, they actually compound.
Emotionally healthy people help heal other people emotionally.
Thank you so much for sharing, subscribing, rating & reviewing on our podcast & YouTube channel!
If you’re ready to take your emotional fitness program to the next level, join us at eqgangster.com/mafia.
The Shadows Podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-shadows-podcast/id1534684467
The Llama Lounge Podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-llama-lounge/id1507339010
Lopez On Leadership:
https://youtube.com/channel/UCEklLA0a1LDP3cVAJXiCMTA
Firestarters book
https://www.firestartersbookproject.com/joe
Ep 117: Gratitude Bridge to Confidence, from Director of Enhanced Performance, COL Darcy Lybeck
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/eq-for-entrepreneurs/id1497445408#episodeGuid=d6f74140-4ef7-414d-bf62-f8ea173463a4
Ep 95: TJ, EQ as a Hollywood Writer
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/eq-for-entrepreneurs/id1497445408?i=1000503061046
Ep. 75: COL Eric Lopez, Chief of Staff USAREC
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/eq-for-entrepreneurs/id1497445408?i=1000494423274
If you had to rate your organization’s teachability on a Scale from 1 - 10, how would you rate it?
How teachable are you?
Is being teachable or coachable important to you (as a leader)?
Your organization, family, team will value or reflect the values YOU value.
Would your team, staff, company, peers, say you’re teachable? Why?
I was a part of an organization that was very narcissistic b/c a number of the senior leaders were narcissistic.
How teachable is a narcissist?
Narcissists & narcissistic organizations will say exactly what they think you want to hear. They’ll say seemingly the right things…but their actions will prove otherwise.
Actions & actual change & transformation is the real “metric” / “KPIs” of whether or not you’re teachable or your organization is teachable.
I was with an acquaintance a number of years ago sitting down at a restaurant & I asked him if he was teachable.
Him: “Of course.”
Me: “Why do you say that?”
Him: Couldn’t answer.
What have you changed in your life the past 90 days?
-a thought?
-an action?
-a habit stopped?
-a habit started?
I asked the #2 guy in a multi-billion dollar division of a company, in charge of 3,000 employees, “What’s your personal growth plan? What books are you reading? What podcasts are you listening to?”
“I don’t have time for that. When I get home, I’m too tired for any of that stuff.”
Was he teachable?
It takes emotional intelligence to be teachable / coachable.
SELF-PERCEPTION
Self-Regard is respecting oneself while understanding and accepting one’s strengths and weaknesses. Self-Regard is often associated with feelings of inner strength and self-confidence.
Self-Actualization is the willingness to persistently try to improve oneself and engage in the pursuit of personally relevant and meaningful objectives that lead to a rich and enjoyable life.
Emotional Self-Awareness includes recognizing and understanding one’s own emotions. This includes the ability to differentiate between subtleties in one’s own emotions while understanding the cause of these emotions and the impact they have on one’s own thoughts and actions and those of others.
Fixed mindset vs a Growth Mindset
-Which one serves you better?
List the benefits of a Fixed Mindset vs the Benefits of a Growth Mindset.
What are the barriers to a growth mindset?
hubris / pride
ego
insecurity
some of the stories you’ve created about what’s important or valued
Back to the main question:
How teachable is your organization?
How teachable are you?
—————————————————
We’re on the receiving end of each other’s EQ (or lack thereof) every day in every relationship.
Unaddressed emotional issues don’t get better over time, they actually compound.
Emotionally healthy people help heal other people emotionally.
Thank you so much for sharing, subscribing, rating & reviewing on our podcast & YouTube channel!
If you’re ready to take your emotional fitness program to the next level, join us at eqgangster.com/mafia.
Want to share a huge breakthrough for me.
Massive POG: Proof of Growth for me!
How do you handle conflict?
How does conflict make you feel?
How do you know how “good” you are at conflict?
Who do you know that is good in conflict?
What does healthy, productive conflict look like?
How do you define healthy, productive conflict?
What stories / “truths” have you told yourself about conflict?
Let me give you a couple examples w/what conflict looks like from an emotionally unhealthy perspective.
1.) Conflict w/a narcissist.
a.) I was literally consumed for hours each day—consciously AND unconsciously.
b.) It was all I could think about.
c.) My chest was tight.
d.) Knot in my throat.
e.) Face was flushed.
f.) Felt like I had absolutely no control over being consumed.
g.) Felt like I had absolutely no control over my emotions.
h.) It was almost blinding.
i.) Being in that state impacted & affected all my relationships.
i1.) How emotionally available was I for my wife & daughter? Friends?
i2.) Short temper, agitated, grumpy.
j.) Difficulty thinking clearly, logically, objectively b/c walking around emotionally hijacked…in the passenger seat of my ‘car’ / life.
k.) Felt helpless, angry, rage, disrespected, rejected, controlled, manipulated, gaslighted, bitter, let down, betrayed, resentful, violated, disgusted, furious, provoked, infuriated, annoyed, jaded, revolted, sad, repelled, hurt, & disappointed.
2.) Conflict w/the organization we were in for many years. We discovered after many years that it had many characteristics & qualities of a cult.
All the same feelings & emotions as the above conflict.
NOW, after intentionally working on & growing my emotional health & emotional intelligence the past 3.5 - 4 yrs…
1.) Conflict in a new organization that I’m involved in…
2.) Conflict w/some other folks in another organization…
COMPLETELY different experience now that I’m emotionally healthier.
1.) Can think clearly.
2.) Not confused.
3.) Not emotionally hijacked.
4.) Can be objective.
5.) Can see the different sides of the parties involved in the conflict.
6.) I’m unemotional.
7.) I’m patient.
8.) I’m not rushing to make rash, ill-thought out decisions.
Some general points about conflict:
1.) Conflict & adversity reveals the levels of emotional intelligence of the people involved in the conflict.
2.) Conflict can be destructive or productive depending on your own emotional health & perspective.
3.) Conflict can lead to stronger relationships if the conflict is handled appropriately.
4.) Conflict is a normal part of every healthy relationship.
5.) With the right perspective, conflict can be a tremendous teacher / instructor / coach.
6.) What can you learn about yourself, God & the other parties through conflict?
I absolutely CANNOT encourage you enough to pursue emotional healing so you can handle life’s conflict such that it doesn’t consume you & possibly destroy you or the relationships you find yourself in.
Conflict can be a truly wonderful growth tool for everyone involved if you’re emotionally healthy.
We’re on the receiving end of each other’s EQ (or lack thereof) every day in every relationship.
Unaddressed emotional issues don’t get better over time, they actually compound.
Emotionally healthy people help heal other people emotionally.
Thank you so much for sharing, subscribing, rating & reviewing on our podcast & YouTube channel!
If you’re ready to take your emotional fitness program to the next level, join us at eqgangster.com/mafia.
First Responders
Military
Corporate America
Symptoms:
Top Medical Guy at a large Army base (COL)
Lots of suicide
Lots of DUIs
Lots of anger issues, domestic abuse, depression, etc...
Solutions: bandaids
1.) Lock up their weapons on post
2.) Close ABC liquor stores 1-2 hours sooner each day
3.) Have more Designated Drivers available
4.) Medication
SYMPTOMS are fine BUT STILL NOT ADDRESSING THE SOURCE…THE EMOTIONAL HEALTH OF THE INDIVIDUAL SOLDIER, FIRST RESPONDER, SWAT, LEO, LEADER
Must teach, coach & empower the individual w/tools to begin a consistent & regular emotional fitness program.
Physical fitness…isn’t something you can do once & be good.
Or even 1 PT session just when you feel like it.
How healthy can you be physically if you’re not mentally or emotionally healthy?
In fact, I would argue that your physical health is a direct reflection of your emotional health.
If you haven’t started a consistent emotional fitness program, I strongly recommend it.
Thank you for watching / listening, rating, reviewing, sharing & subscribing.
To take your emotional fitness program to the next level, join our membership at eqgangster.com/mafia
This episode briefly discusses the 5 dysfunctions of a team from Patrick Lencioni’s book.
Each dysfunction is directly impacted by the individual & collective emotional intelligence of the team.
Each personality type views trust differently & that is incredibly important.
The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni
https://www.amazon.com/Five-Dysfunctions-Team-Leadership-Fable/dp/0787960756/
Thank you for watching / listening, rating, reviewing, sharing & subscribing.
To take your emotional fitness program to the next level, join our membership at eqgangster.com/mafia
Thank you for watching / listening, rating, reviewing, sharing & subscribing.
Corporate client who does a lot of work in healthcare—lots of hospitals & clinics around the country.
Visited one of largest in the state he was working in & it is at 60% staffed. And the staff who are there…are overworked, overwhelmed & completely exhausted—mentally, physically, & emotionally.
Going to possibly be doing a brief workshop on emotional health & EQ for a SWAT team. The number of LEOs is down dramatically in his state. There’s no emotional training.
A number of my BJJ teammates are LEOs…overworked, exhausted mentally, emotionally & physically.
YOUR company…what’s the emotional health state of your company?
YOUR family…what’s the emotional health state of your family?
YOU…what’s the emotional health state of you?
As a leader, how do you handle the emotions of your team?
Check in w/them every morning:
How are you feeling?
How are you doing?
Give them permission / freedom to express themselves honestly.
How does it help them, you or your team if you ask them how they’re doing & you only want to hear “outstanding”?
Is it truly safe to be vulnerable in your culture/organization?
If not, how can you start changing that?
By you being honest & transparent w/your own emotions.
Just b/c you’re struggling, doesn’t take you a weak leader or incompetent or incapable. It makes you a human.
Provide your team w/tools
Create an emotional fitness program for your company.
Emotional agility
Resilience
To take your emotional fitness program to the next level, join our membership at eqgangster.com/mafia
Great life lessons shared by my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Professor, 4th Degree Black Belt and world class athlete.
We discuss his BJJ journey from his childhood through his experience as a world class competitor and almost 20 years as a black belt.
How has your childhood impacted who you are today?
Who has inspired you throughout your life?
Who do you inspire?
How resilient are you?
How have you grown your resilience?
How intentional are you at growing your resilience?
Mentor Podcast, Ep. #4
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2GAHPXPIZppaUzqMOKV0Ck?si=9Iwp4ScsQoOWCie2bnlZdA
Prime BJJ
https://www.primebjj.com/
To take your emotional fitness program to the next level, join our membership at eqgangster.com/mafia
8.19.21
1.) Stuff & avoid leads to stewing & brooding
2.) Unpleasant emotions represent unmet needs.
3.) Stuffing & avoiding comes from shame?
4.) What is the relationship between value & performance?
If I’m not doing something to earn it, shame may come.
5.) Cure for shame is vulnerability.
6.) Vulnerability to allow yourself to be seen & still be loved.
7.) We don’t compare suffering. Don’t judge suffering.
8.) Emotions are like trying to get rid of your arm.
9.) Maybe there has been shame surrounding emotions or empathy & even served.
Questions:
1.) How you define shame?
2.) How do you define vulnerability?
3.) Where does your shame come from?
4.) How vulnerable are you in relationships?
5.) How important do you feel vulnerability is in relationships?
6.) How is shame impacting / influencing your life & decision making?
Jerry Novak
https://growthandthriving.com/
Fb Groups
Growth & thriving after trauma
https://www.facebook.com/growth.thriving
Thriving Fathers—Parenting After Trauma
https://www.facebook.com/groups/570647737271491
Mentor Podcast, Ep. #4
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2GAHPXPIZppaUzqMOKV0Ck?si=9Iwp4ScsQoOWCie2bnlZdA
To take your emotional fitness program to the next level, join our membership at eqgangster.com/mafia
Rob shares his riveting life story of being almost aborted to finding out at age 6 that his ‘dad’ wasn’t actually his dad. He shares stories & life lessons from his traumatic childhood & jumping out of a 3-story window trying to kill himself & even sexually assaulted by the worship pastor of a megachurch. So many things to pull out of his story one of which is the powerful lesson of forgiveness to where he’s at now as a successful personal trainer.
While you’re listening to this powerful story, pay attention to what emotional lessons there are to learn.
What were the emotional consequences of your own childhood?
Are you even aware of them yet?
Have you worked through them or healed from them yet?
What steps can you take to start your own emotional healing journey?
To join our safe & supportive community, register at eqgangster.com/mafia
Find out more about Rob & connect with him at robdeckerspeaks.com
Mentor Podcast Ep #4
Personality styles in relationship to emotional intelligence.
Dominant / Choleric personality and the Steady / Phlegmatic personalities are less emotional than the Sanguine / Influencer and Melancholy / Conscientious personalities.
What determines the depth & level of connection in relationships—personally & professionally?
How important is connection in relationships—personally & professionally?
How does the depth of connection
The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships.
The quality of your relationships is determined by your emotional intelligence and your level of vulnerability & transparency.
The quality of your relationships affects / impacts the culture of your family & organization.
The culture of your organization impacts performance, effectiveness & outcomes.
How approachable are you?
What is the quality / depth of the connectedness in relationships?
Make our community of EQ Gangsters part of your regular emotional fitness program. Register for the EQ Mafia at eqgangster.com/mafia
Mentor Podcast Ep #4
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2GAHPXPIZppaUzqMOKV0Ck?si=9Iwp4ScsQoOWCie2bnlZdA
This episode covers a powerful extreme transformation of one of my corporate coaching clients.
I share the emotional exercise I gave him to do over the weekend that took him from being completely emotionally hijacked (an emotional “1” to a “9” emotionally in 2 days.
Join our EQ Membership at https://www.eqgangster.com/mafia
Powerful analogy about how our emotions impact us that can eventually lead to getting completely emotionally hijacked.
Unaddressed emotional issues can cause emotional “knots”.
If we don’t take the time / make the time to “massage” our emotional “knots” they WILL turn into an emotional “charlie horse” that can “lock up” your emotional “muscles”.
You “massage” your emotional “knots” by “going A.P.E.”
“A”: Acknowledge your emotions.
“P”: Permission to feel those emotions.
“E”: Express those emotions through journaling.
Thank you for rating, reviewing, subscribing & sharing our podcast & YouTube channel!
Your EQ will be transformed by participating in our membership group: eqgangster.com/mafia
- If you feel an inkling to reach out to someone to tell them how they impacted you or how much you love & appreciate them, reach out to them & tell them how they made you feel. Don’t let them die without you telling them. You don’t want to live with that regret.
- If there is a goal or dream you’ve always wanted, now is the time to pursue it. Don’t wait. Don’t hesitate.
- I learned the first lesson after my father died 11 years ago. He told me for 3 years that he love me, he was proud of me and that he believed in me.
- The Spanish fable of Paco & his dad
To get on the waitlist of our membership, visit EQGanster.com/mafia
How I feel after 2 months of being in a funk & some of the lessons I’ve learned.
Lesson from finally returning back to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) after taking 2 mos off.
BJJ is therapy for me, physically, mentally & emotionally.
- Physical exercise is huge in helping us through emotional low points. Even 5 push-ups a day or 10 sit-ups or even just stretching. Do SOMETHING physical throughout an emotional funk.
Yes, I made poor eating decisions the past 2 mos & didn’t exercise the past 2 mos, but what are the positives I DID do over the past 2 mos?
-
Note / list what things you ARE doing well even in the midst of an emotional funk.
-
Forgive yourself for making poor decisions while in the emotional funk.
-
Find a friend or mentor that you can be accountable to & share with them how you’re doing.
-
What routines were you doing prior to your funk that you can start doing again that can act as a “positive (emotional) trigger”?
-
What friend can you connect with that makes you feel special? Reach out to them.
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Maybe you need a break in your routine.
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Set a time frame if you DO end up taking a break in your routine. Set a start & end date. The end date can also be a time where you just re-assess. Make it a conscious decision of when you start & stop your breaks.
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Give yourself grace & patience ESPECIALLY when you’re in a funk.
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When you DO take 3 steps forward & 2 steps back, that is actually a sign that you ARE growing & changing.
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Journal through an emotional funk.
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Get better at recognizing and paying attention to when & why I go into a funk.
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Take an online course or a class about something you’ve always wanted to learn or do that can possibly inspire you or encourage you.
In this episode I share about the overwhelming power of reaching out to friends, family & co-workers that may or may not be struggling.
I share a couple very encouraging, even overwhelming stories of how so many in my life showed me support during the emotional funk I’ve been going through.
My neighborhood fb group supported me. My West Point classmates supported me. Sooo many friends & family supported me. It was overwhelming at how encouraging everyone has been through this season.
Reach out to someone if God puts them on your heart. Just send them an encouraging quote or text or Bible verse.
I also share a neat story from my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu coach, John Roy, who was a podcast called “Mentor Podcast” that was very encouraging.
Mentor Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/0lT9hrLeMCVwAqtQAl6WDH
Free EQ101 Webinar: https://www.eqgangster.com/eq101
Disclaimer: I’m not a psychologist or psychiatrist or therapist.
Seek professional help if you need it.
I’ve been emotionally constipated the past couple months.
I’ve been doing the 4 “Deadly” Emotional “Sins”.
Not being controlled by our emotions but being in more control over our emotions.
The past couple months have been very challenging for me.
Going through the VA System & talking to my counselor / therapist has opened up some very challenging, intense, unpleasant emotions.
Be aware: talking more about your emotional issues may cause more emotions to surface—unexpectedly.
I’ve been reverting to that old way of behaving…going back to stuffing & avoiding.
I’ve gained a bunch of weight back that I’ve lost over the past 9 mos.
I’ve even done more stewing & brooding.
Many men that I’m working with stuff & avoid their emotions.
Many pretend that our feelings & emotions don’t impact or affect us.
I learned how to stuff & avoid during my birth family.
I’ve completely stopped doing BJJ & completely working out, which has definitely affected / impacted me mentally & emotionally.
My sleep schedule has been terrible. I’m constantly operating at a low level of fatigue.
My eating decisions have been terrible.
I’ve been triggered 4 times in the past few weeks & each time has taken me multiple days to come down from.
I’ve done a very poor job at handling, processing & managing my emotions the past couple months.
My counselor / therapist asked me what were some other ways to think about what has happened the past couple months rather than from a negative framework.
It was difficult to even think of other more productive ways to think about the past couple months because I was still emotionally triggered.
She asked “Have you grown the past couple months?” “Have you learned anything the past couple months?” Yes…”then that’s a very good thing.”
She also said there is a negative compounding affect of not getting out of your head by talking to someone else. Talking to someone else & getting some outside perspective is very helpful in your growth journey.
The 4 “Deadly” Emotional Sins:
Stuffing
Avoiding
Stewing
Brooding
What is my body trying to tell me over the past couple months?
My reflection time hasn’t been productive.
I need to practice what I preach.
I was thankful to get the outside perspective of my counselor / therapist.
The past couple months I’ve been struggling have been very relatable to some of the coaching clients I’ve got.
It’s mentally, emotionally & physically exhausting to feel & process emotions.
3 steps forward & 2 steps back in your emotionally journey is actually a sign that you’re heading in the right direction.
Be sure to pursue this journey of emotional growth at a pace you can sustain.
Stay connected to others—especially if you feel yourself slipping into an unhealthy spot.
Would you talk to your coaching clients the way you’ve been talking to yourself the past couple months? Absolutely not. Then, why do you continue to talk to yourself so negatively?
Thank you for sharing, subscribing, rating & reviewing our podcast!
Deal with your emotional issues or your family will.
Unaddressed emotional issues don’t get better over time, but rather compound.
Emotionally healthy people help heal other people emotionally.
To get on the waitlist of our membership, visit EQGanster.com/mafia
Episode from Rock Creek in Red Lodge, MT.
What makes you come alive?
Where makes you come alive?
How it made me feel jumping in the frigid Rock Creek in Red Lodge, MT.
Invigorating
Empowering
Alive
Exuberant
Exciting
Physically present
Emotionally present
Spiritually present
Soul filling
What events, activities, environments are soul-filling for you?
Have you ever had a soul-filling experience before?
When / where do you lose track of time & space?
Do you have a particular chair that you feel better / different in?
A particular pen you enjoy writing with the most?
A particular outfit that makes you feel the best?
Is there a certain time of day that brings the best out of you?
Is there a particular room of the house that brings the best out of you?
What foods bring the best out of you?
What beverages bring the best out of you?
What people brings the best out of you?
How intentional are you with what brings the best out of you?
What makes your family come alive?
What makes your children come alive?
Visit / Travel to different areas around the country to see how you respond / react in each environment.
Start paying attention to how you feel in different environments.
Where do you do your deepest thinking?
Where do you do your best work?
When are you the most creative?
This will be a great exercise to increase your self-awareness & self-management.
What environments could help you become world class at?
What colors bring the best out of you?
How can you bring the best out of others?
Thank you for sharing, subscribing, rating & reviewing our podcast!
Deal with your emotional issues or your family will.
Unaddressed emotional issues don’t get better over time, but rather compound.
Emotionally healthy people help heal other people emotionally.
To get on the waitlist of our membership, visit EQGanster.com/mafia
This is not a political post.
This is to discuss the emotional consequences of some of the decisions from a few different countries in the world.
There is a silent pandemic that is also impacting & affecting tens of thousands & potentially hundreds of thousands of people around the globe…that main stream media is not covering. It’s deadly all the same.
How are you doing emotionally?
How have you coped throughout the pandemic the past 12-18 mos?
How are your family & friends holding out?
How intentional are you at checking in on your family & friends to see how they’re holding up?
Please stay connected, whatever that means to you, regardless of future decisions from local or federal governments. The consequences of not staying connected emotionally & relationally w/your social support network can be catastrophic. Stay connected regardless of what happens going forward. Our social network (not to be confused w/social media) is proven to be absolutely critical to our mental & emotional well being.
If you don’t deal w/your emotional issues, your family & friends will.
Unaddressed emotional issues don’t get better over time; they actually compound.
Emotionally healthy people help heal other people emotionally.
Thank you for rating, reviewing, subscribing & sharing our podcast & YouTube channel.
To join an encouraging, intentional support network all focused on growing our emotional health & emotional intelligence, join the EQ Mafia at eqgangster.com/mafia
List the brands you use on a regular basis.
List what emotions / feelings each of those brands elicit.
What brands will you not do business with.
What emotions / feelings do those brands elicit.
What brand do you represent?
What emotions / feelings do you think your brand elicits?
What emotions / feelings does your personal brand elicit?
List the emotions that you’d like your (personal) brand to elicit?
What level of quality do you enjoy consuming in your personal / professional life?
What level of quality do you want to elicit from your brand / organization you represent?
Be intentional about the level of quality you represent.
Realize that you / your brand / the organization you represent elicits certain emotions & feelings.
Be intentional about the feelings / emotions you want to elicit.
How do you think our emotional health or emotional intelligence impacts our faith or view of God?
What’s your view of God?
What impacted that view or perspective of God?
What emotions come up when you think of God?
Where did those emotions come from?
What stories do you have about God or faith?
Where did those stories come from?
A lady prophesied over me at church on Sunday.
She prophesied over someone else prior to sharing her prophecy about me.
The prophecies she gave to both of us had a very similar theme.
Her “words from God” came from her level of emotional intelligence & not actual words from God or her relationship w/God.
Realize that our emotional grid does impact our spiritual perspectives.
Book: Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero
URL: https://www.amazon.com/Emotionally-Healthy-Spirituality-audiobook/dp/B011LULWWM/
Unaddressed emotional issues don’t get better over time; they actually compound.
Emotionally healthy people help heal other people emotionally.
If you’d like more info, please visit eqgangster.com/mafia
What I wasn’t prepared for was the emotional journey of having to go back through my military past.
I had not addressed or dealt with any of my past military emotional issues / injuries.
It might be helpful to refer to this episode while going through the military VA process:
EQE Ep. 120: 3 Emotional Tools to Improve Your Emotional Bandwidth
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/eq-for-entrepreneurs/id1497445408?i=1000513514299
Realize that discussing your military experiences may bring up memories & emotions that you weren’t expecting or prepared for.
If you need professional help, seek it out.
I’ve been using Veterans Guardian & has been incredibly helpful in my journey in dealing w/my VA experience.
https://vetsguardian.com/
Unaddressed emotional issues don’t get better over time; they actually compound.
Emotionally healthy people help heal other people emotionally.
If you’d like more info, please visit eqgangster.com/mafia
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
The journey Of how we arrived at EQ for entrepreneurs.
And the journey of how we arrived at EQ Gangster and EQ Mafia.
What makes you unique?
Who is your audience?
Who do you bring the best out of?
Who is drawn to you? Why?
Who have you helped get success or transformation?
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQE Ep. 148, How Do You Develop Boldness? Does It Even Matter?
This episode we explore how emotional health & emotional intelligence impacts boldness.
What is boldness?
How do you define boldness?
Where does it come from?
What does it do for you?
How does it serve you?
Can you do ‘boldness’ wrong?
Can you recognize healthy vs. unhealthy boldness?
How bold are you?
Is boldness only reserved for certain personalities?
Is your boldness coming from a healthy or unhealthy place?
For me personally, boldness comes from knowing who you are, accepting who you are (strengths & weaknesses; freedoms & limitations; strengths & superpowers), & applying who you are fully.
In order for all that to happen, it takes emotional healthiness from growing one’s emotional intelligence.
I used to be “bold” coming from an emotionally unhealthy place & it would often fall flat.
Now, it comes across completely differently b/c I’m coming from a much healthier place emotionally.
Thank you for rating, reviewing, subscribing & sharing!
Unaddressed emotional issues don’t get better over time; they actually compound.
Emotionally healthy people help heal other people emotionally.
If you’d like more info, please visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/training
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
Closed 85% of my pitches to National & Regional Media Representatives (69 of 81).
Showed me the relevance & importance of emotions, emotional health, & emotional intelligence in our country today.
Who is not being impacted by so many different emotionally charged events over the past 12 - 18 mos.
How many of us have been trained on how to effectively identify & manage our emotions?
Many of my “pitching” peers would have been more effective had they had more self-awareness & social awareness when pitching the Media Reps.
It’s difficult, if not impossible to identify your unique voice & true authenticity w/out emotional intelligence. It was evident watching many of my peers.
This journey of becoming healthier emotionally is so critically important & truly impacts every facet of our lives.
Unaddressed emotional issues don’t get better over time; they actually compound.
Emotionally healthy people help heal other people emotionally.
Thank you for rating, reviewing, subscribing & sharing
If you’d like a scientific emotional intelligence assessment, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/training for more info.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
Thank you for watching & listening
Thank you for rating, reviewing, subscribing & sharing. If you haven’t yet, it would really mean a lot if you did just take 30 seconds to rate & review & share a meaningful episode.
Highest of highs last 24 hrs & then this morning hit some pretty low lows w/news from a dear friend who lost his 26 y/o daughter & mother of a 2 y/o.
I briefly shared a little about the highs & lows in the last episode.
For those that didn’t catch the last episode, here are a couple of the highs from the last 24 hrs:
Senior exec reached out after 15 years out of the blue & asked me to put together 2 EQ Leadership Development Courses for his Senior & Mid-Level Execs overseas in 2 different countries. It could turn into a very large corporate coaching contract. We’ll see what happens.
Through a program I paid for, I am involved in a “speed dating w/the media” w/84 major media reps ranging from National Media Outlets to regional media reps. I closed 9 out of 13 of the Media Reps during my “speed dating” session. or 70%. I’ve followed up w/all of them. Now let’s see what happens. I have another 13 Media Reps to pitch tonight.
Even the thought of following up via email w/9 different people would’ve been absolutely overwhelming & enough to shut me down. Seriously. Here’s how serious I am.
The next day after I followed up w/all of them, my wife asked me what I had just finished. I told her I just finished following up w/all 9 Media Reps. She was totally shocked.
Then, we offered to get involved with and lead an organization that is wanting to grow and expand which is going to be a very sizable project w/lots & lots of details.
Details on ANY other day of the week have had a tendency to absolutely shut me down every. single. time. every. single. time.
This is a true story, it would literally take me 10-12 hours to do a 30 min project b/c of the number of details that were involved in that project.
Another proof of growth—I’m getting myself set up w/the VA system finally after being out of the military for 20 years. I’ve got a number of lingering issues from my service time. I had to track down multiple documents & make a couple phone calls & send a couple emails that I would’ve normally taken 2 - 3 weeks to do AFTER much “encouragement” from my wife. I knocked it all out in 5 - 10 min.
Details were the death of me prior to my emotional growth journey.
Details were absolutely my kryptonite.
Then, yesterday morning, I got news that my dear friend’s 26 y/o daughter & mother of a 2 y/o passed away tragically. I called him up & we bawled for 30-45 min.
That was the past 24 - 48 hours. It was a very, very emotionally exhausting 24 - 48 hours. Emotional exhaustion is also very physically exhausting, which not many people consider just how physically exhausting processing & dealing w/emotions really is.
So between all these super exciting emotions & super crushing emotions from the death of my friends daughter AND all the hundreds & hundreds of little tasks & details that are now on my plate…
…would’ve absolutely sent me to my “default cave” for at least 3 days.
I would’ve normally completely emotionally withdrawn. Would’ve completely been emotionally unavailable for my wife & daughter and coaching clients. I would’ve just sat & stewed in my emotions & feelings not actually working through them, but just stewing & brooding…which neither are productive ways to handle emotions.
And this time, I busted out a “New Note” on my iPhone & labeled each major event & did a “thoughts & feelings vomit” under each respective heading pertaining to each respective emotional issue.
After vomiting all the my thoughts & emotions & feelings down for each respective issue, I went back through each issue & went emotion by emotion & gave myself permission to feel each emotion…pleasant AND unpleasant. Light & heavy/intense.
The whole exercise took about an hour.
I got up after that & felt physically exhausted but emotionally unburdened.
After I did that exercise I started knocking out details & tasks that would’ve formally been my kryptonite.
It’s b/c I created more emotional & mental bandwidth my naming / identifying my emotions & feelings; allowing my self to feel them & work through them.
Unaddressed emotional issues don’t get better over time; they actually compound.
Emotionally healthy people help heal other people emotionally.
Thank you for rating, reviewing, subscribing & sharing
If you’d like a scientific emotional intelligence assessment, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/training for more info.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
My wife & I have struggled w/our sex lives for the vast majority of our 25 year marriage.
She had abandonment issues which led her to become what’s known as an Intimacy Anorexic. That’s someone who has an addiction to avoid intimacy…& not just sexual intimacy, but even in social relationships & family relationships.
I had self-image, self-worth, low-EQ issues which led me to refrain from ever speaking up to ever share my thoughts on my desires or love languages.
Some of that was exacerbated by kathy’s abandonment b/c she is also a Choleric Melancholy & has always been very confident in herself & has always known what she wants & doesn’t want…for the most part.
So in the first couple years of our marriage, when I would express that my love languages were running low, she would roll her eyes, huff & puff a couple times & mockingly touch my arm or pat me on the head & say “is that enough?” “can I be done?”.
Well, after 2 years of that, I was done. And compound that w/all my own emotional dysfunction & insecurities, I stopped ever addressing how my love tanks were doing.
for those unfamiliar w/Love Languages (Gary Chapman):
Gifts
Touch
Acts of Service
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
That “little” dynamic between the 2 of us: her deep abandonment issues (that she was completely unaware of at the time) & my emotional neediness, people-pleasing addiction, self-sabotage (I deserve the way she’s treating me. I don’t deserve to have my love languages spoken.) led to some massive train wrecks throughout the years.
But thankfully after 20 years of some deep relationship dysfunction, we started going to counseling & that began both of our emotional growth journey.
Podcast
Monthly EQ Membership
EQ Course
EQ Leadership Consulting
Today, I got some really disturbing news from a dear friend of mine. He lost his 26 y/o daughter (& mother of a 2 y/o) to a drug overdose. I was wrecked.
Yesterday, prior to the troubling news, we had received some of the most exciting, overwhelming news we’ve ever received.
Needless to say, I woke up this morning w/LOTS of emotions.
I did a couple of my EQ exercises after my bible study.
Once I knew Kathy was awake, I went upstairs & told her I wanted to have our “NBC” (Naked Boardroom Chat) where we both get buck naked & just talk.
It’s incredibly intimate, which I love, and it’s still a bit uncomfortable for her, but I appreciate her obliging. I shared a bunch of my thoughts & emotions from a very rollercoaster 24 hours and we had an amazing conversation.
I then asked if she was open to continuing our NBC to the shower. That’s the other spot we have our greatest, deepest chats b/c there’s no distractions.
She agreed.
We had another amazing therapeutic conversation.
This time it led to sex, but it doesn’t always lead to sex. It doesn’t have to lead to sex. Personally I appreciate tremendously the intimacy.
I was so ridiculously proud of myself having the courage to address the desires of my heart to have intimate conversation, i.e.: “NBC”, & I’m so thankful that my wife was flexible & obliged.
It was so timely.
Who would’ve ever thought that after 25 years of marriage, our sex life could improve? I sure didn’t think it was possible based on where we both came from emotionally. That’s the power of emotional growth & emotional healing.
Unaddressed emotional issues don’t get better over time; they actually compound.
Emotionally healthy people help heal other people emotionally.
Thank you for rating, reviewing, subscribing & sharing!
Books Mentioned:
Personality Plus, by Florence Littauer
StrengthsFinder2.0, by Tom Rath
Becoming A King, by Morgan Snyder
If you’d like a scientific emotional intelligence assessment, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/training for more info.
To get on the waiting list for our 8-week course teaching emotional intelligence, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
I was just triggered from being semi-attacked.
It caused me to do some reflection.
Do you know anyone that has been bitter & jaded for months or years?
What are they like to be around?
How happy or pleasant are they?
How does their negative emotional state affect / impact their life?
Have you ever been jaded or bitter?
What have you been angry or upset about the longest?
Have you taken time to reflect on any unaddressed emotional issues in your life that may be causing you anxiety or stress?
Our bodies file, log & store all of our unaddressed emotions. The more intense & extreme our unpleasant emotions, the greater impact on our bodies & physiology.
If you need to, seek professional help to work through & heal from any unaddressed emotional injuries.
Have you forgiven yourself over the things you’ve done & the pain you’ve caused others?
Have you forgiven others that have injured you?
Why not?
Freedom is on the other side of forgiveness.
It’s not easy, but it’s so worth it.
Book: Your Body Keeps the Score
https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748
If you’d like a scientific emotional intelligence assessment, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/training for more info.
To get on the waiting list for our 8-week course teaching emotional intelligence, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
Story: teacher w/little to no emotional bandwidth.
How much emotional bandwidth do you have?
How much does it take to overwhelm you or trigger you?
Do you have a high emotional “tolerance”?
Do the smallest things upset you?
Do you always carry around a low-grade anxiety or stress?
Do you carry around a low-grade frustration or anger?
What do you think the benefits are of having a greater emotional bandwidth?
If you’d like a scientific emotional intelligence assessment, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/training for more info.
To get on the waiting list for our 8-week course teaching emotional intelligence, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
Story of the “hug line” that was 75 people long in Australia.
Story of my dad, as an ER doctor, giving hugs to his patients and watching them immediately calming down.
The physical & emotional power of a hug.
Why my hugs are a couple extra seconds.
What stories do you have around physical touch?
What emotions do you have surrounding physical touch?
If you’d like a scientific emotional intelligence assessment, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/training for more info.
To get on the waiting list for our 8-week course teaching emotional intelligence, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
He react to crises differently based on recent cyber attacks on my company.
He thinks about my responses differently.
EQ has changed his parenting.
He shares a neat parenting story w/his son & how he has been able to practice his EQ on and with his son & helping his son work through his own emotions.
The power of his reflection times.
Applying his EQ to golf.
If you’d like a scientific emotional intelligence assessment, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/training for more info.
To get on the waiting list for our 8-week course teaching emotional intelligence, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
An exciting opportunity has arisen in our lives.
As I was sharing my excitement about it, my wife shared how she didn’t think it was gonna happen for us.
That was an odd comment coming from her.
When we had the opportunity to explore that emotion further, she discovered that it was an emotional survival mechanism b/c of all the times I crushed her dreams & goals in the past.
I had a long track record of getting excited & spun up about a goal and then never follow through b/c of my emotional immaturity & my incredibly consistent self-sabotage that would inevitably kick in shortly after committing to the most recent “goal or dream of the week” club.
Books:
Personality Plus
https://www.amazon.com/Personality-Plus-Understand-Understanding-Yourself/dp/B000YIKXC8/ref=asc_df_B000YIKXC8/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312031138203&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11359522020561999897&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9029034&hvtargid=pla-570586518855&psc=1
Strengthsfinder2.0
https://www.amazon.com/Strengths-Finder-2-0-Upgraded-Discover/dp/B00DDR6WJK/ref=sr_1_3?crid=2BWB7G9MGU14D&dchild=1&keywords=strengths+finder+2.0+with+access+code&qid=1621126401&s=books&sprefix=strength%2Cstripbooks%2C273&sr=1-3
If you’d like a scientific emotional intelligence assessment, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/training for more info.
To get on the waiting list for our 8-week course teaching emotional intelligence, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
Insights & inspiration from one of my Corporate clients
Who do you inspire?
Where are you at in your EQ growth journey?
What are the “consequences / benefits / ripple effects” of your current emotional health state?
List all the areas in your life where you would like to grow & improve.
There’s a very good chance your emotional health could be currently impacting your growth or effectiveness in one or many of those areas.
Unaddressed emotional issues don’t get better over time; they actually compound.
Emotionally healthy people help heal others emotionally.
If you’d like a scientific emotional intelligence assessment, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/training for more info.
To get on the waiting list for our 8-week course teaching emotional intelligence, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
Story of Youth Group leader
How EQ impacts life transitions
Lower EQ can hinder, hamper or exacerbate life transitions.
Higher EQ can reduce, minimize or make life transitions smoother.
What systems of recharging or menu of ways you can take care of yourself do you have immediately accessible?
Swimming stroke efficiency analogy
If you’d like a scientific emotional intelligence assessment, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/training for more info.
To get on the waiting list for our 8-week course teaching emotional intelligence, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
Thought Analyzer
A tool to think about what you’re thinking about.
Think, feel, do.
There’s always a process that happens before we arrive at an action.
Many of us are just not aware of what that process is.
If you understand that process, you can deconstruct it.
Book recommendation:
Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess, Dr. Caroline Leaf
Case study: It’s actually unhealthy to be self-aware with no self-management tools.
Facts: objective vs subjective.
Facts don’t include anything subjective.
Life:
What happened?
What do you think about what happened?
2 different people can react 2 different ways to the same thing
Unintentional thoughts & their impact
Lead to feelings which then lead to actions.
Toxic positivity is like gaslighting yourself.
Our thoughts can feel like truth sometimes & often our thoughts are inaccurate.
How would an emotionally healthy person respond to this situation or think about this situation?
We can choose to think a new thought, which changes the way you feel, the way you act and, therefore, the result you get.
Anger is typically a secondary emotion.
If you’d like a scientific emotional intelligence assessment, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/training for more info.
To get on the waiting list for our 8-week course teaching emotional intelligence, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
What is the difference between stewing and giving yourself permission to feel unpleasant emotions?
Treat them as guests to your house.
Be curious about them.
Suspend judgment and evaluate stories and inaccurate beliefs.
What can you learn about those “guests” at your house?
Do you know them all by name?
You don’t have to let them spend the night or move into your house.
And at a minimum, identify who they are, which emotions they are and when you have time let them into your proverbial house and have them stay for coffee. Have a conversation with them. Ask them questions. But again, suspend judgment.
That is the difference between handling your emotions productively and from a healthy perspective versus stewing on them, not identifying them and not letting them in your house and having a discussion with them and be curious about them.
If you’d like a scientific emotional intelligence assessment, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/training for more info.
To get on the waiting list for our 8-week course teaching emotional intelligence, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
When is the last time you allowed yourself to feel unpleasant emotions?
How “good are you” at allowing yourself to feel unpleasant emotions?
How are your energy levels when you’re feeling unpleasant emotions?
What is the quality of your decision making when you’re not feeling good?
What are some productive ways to allow yourself to feel unpleasant emotions?
Take care of yourself.
Allow yourself to feel unpleasant emotions.
Establish boundaries so that you don’t allow those unpleasant emotions to take you somewhere that’s not healthy, safe or productive.
If you’d like a scientific emotional intelligence assessment, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/training for more info.
To get on the waiting list for our 8-week course teaching emotional intelligence, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
How would you define “good, healthy relationships”?
Everyone’s answer is probably going to be different based on your personality and current level of emotional intelligence.
What type of relationship has brought the best out of you?
What type of relationship has maximized your performance?
One major point to mention regarding the connection between relationships & performance is motive.
Motive matters.
Intent matters.
Check out 3 of our Episodes on The Dark Side of Emotional Intelligence. Possibly episodes 27, 29 & 31.
If you’d like a scientific emotional intelligence assessment, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/training for more info.
To get on the waiting list for our 8-week course teaching emotional intelligence, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
What is the connection between performance and relationship?
How do relationships affect / impact performance?
Have you ever experienced a negative or toxic relationship? How did that impact your performance?
What relationships impacted your performance positively?
How can you be more intentional at deepening & developing your relationships to maximize both your’s & their performance?
If you’d like a scientific emotional intelligence assessment, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/training for more info.
To get on the waiting list for our 8-week course teaching emotional intelligence, visit eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
Each of our dreams & goals has certain associated risks.
Have you done a risk-reward analysis of the dreams & goals you’re currently pursuing?
Have you done an emotional assessment / evaluation of the risks attached to your goals & dreams?
Emotions, whether we’re aware of them or not, impact our every decision & behavior.
Do your emotions control you or are you in charge of your emotions?
For those wanting to take the next step of your own emotional growth journey and take a scientific assessment please register at eqforentrepreneurs.com/training
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
God told us to sell the house…and that was it.
This episode is very closely related to the last episode.
I get sooo emotionally attached to every single property we visit…CO, MT, ID, SD…
I’ve gotten frustrated at that.
It’s exhausting to feel & experience emotions…
If you’re new to your emotional growth journey, give yourself plenty of grace, space & patience as you begin to allow yourself to feel emotions that you may not have been aware of your entire life…like me.
Mood Meter app…very helpful in increasing my self-awareness
Check in w/yourself.
Attach to a habit you already have.
What are you feeling?
Notes section: why you’re feeling that way.
STILL NOT very easy for me to identify what I’m feeling.
The more I’m thinking about this stuff & the more I’m putting my thoughts / feelings / emotions down, the more comfortable & familiar I’m becoming w/them.
Also forces me to stop, pause, & check-in w/myself. I would normally “push through” any bubbling or percolating emotions by defaulting to DOING as a COPING MECHANISM so that I wouldn’t have to feel my emotions & feelings.
The more I do it & the more consistent I become, the more different emotions are popping up rather than just one.
Mood Meter App:
I start by asking myself the 4 main quadrants:
Am I:
High energy, unpleasant
Low energy, unpleasant
High energy, pleasant
Low energy, pleasant
Then, I’ll click on each “tile” in each quadrant which contains 25 different emotions in each of those above 4 categories.
The Mood Meter app has helped me process my emotions through this journey…
I encourage you utilize the Mood Meter app to help increase your self-awareness AND, like me, possibly even help you identify & deal w/some of the emotions that could be affecting you that you’re currently unaware of.
EQi Assessment or Training for your organization: eqforentrepreneurs.com/training
What’s impacting your ability to trust or not trust?
What are the consequences of your ability or inability to trust?
What is the relationship between trust & your desire to control?
How does control serve you?
How is a lack of trust impacting your relationships?
It has seemed to stunt the growth of any relationship where I don’t trust.
Have you been burned before in relationships?
What vows, commitments or promises have you made consciously or subconsciously as a result of having your trust violated in relationships?
“I’ll never trust anyone again.”
“Trust must not be important so I don’t have to be trustworthy in relationships.”
What emotions surround ‘trust’ or ‘trusting’ in you?
What emotions, like barnacles, are attached to the concept of trust in your life?
How are those barnacles impacting trust & therefore relationships in your life?
Personally & professionally
Judges 6-7
Matthew 25:14-30
Proverbs 3:5-6
The ups & downs of being a leader and entrepreneur. Growing your emotional capacity. Resilience—the ability to handle adversity, failure, change & pressure in a positive way. -John C. Maxwell Stress & anxiety affects us physically, mentally & emotionally. The Resilient Entrepreneur handbook: eqforentrepreneurs.com/tre How resilient are you? Unaddressed emotional issues don’t get better over time. Be proactive at dealing w/your emotions. Your emotions will get “louder” over time even if you attempt to stuff, avoid or block them. 1 - Recognize your emotions. 2 - Acknowledge your feelings. 3 - Allow yourself to feel those feelings. Honor yourself by allowing yourself to feel those emotions. Feeling grief for all the changes that are happening in our country, in your life, at work, in your family, etc. Any change is also a loss of something. Emotions have to have some place to go. 4 - Recognize you do have control. 1: Trust: You can know what you need. 2: Trust: You can get your power back by knowing what you need. I can do what’s needed. I don’t have to wait for anything. 3: Trust: That it’s ok for me to do the things that are needed. It’s good for me to do the things I need to do. 1 - Set boundaries. You can walk away. You can even quit. 2 - It’s ok to rest when you need to rest. 3 - Make a change. Only you can know what change you need. 4 - You can stand up for yourself. EQi Assessment: eqforentrepreneurs.com/training 5 - Create safety for yourself. How can you create safety for yourself? Physical, mental, spiritual, emotional safety Another way to get your power back: Ask yourself: “Then what?” Realize you can handle all the “Then what’s”. When you realize that, you begin to get your power back. Train yourself to leave possibility that a better future might be out there that you’re not thinking of. Story about the father & son: “Maybe it’s a blessing. Maybe it’s not.” When you change your thought, you change your feelings & you can begin to lower your stress levels. Resilience Homework: 1.) Write down 1 area you need to grow in your resilience. 2.) Write down the main emotion you need to acknowledge or honor. 3.) What is 1 thing you can do to get back your control.
1.) You have no boundaries, so you cross others boundaries and are typically completely unaware that you’re doing it (ask me how I know) AND you allow yourself to be mistreated and/or walked on or over b/c you have no boundaries for yourself either.
2.) You don’t know where you begin & end and where someone else begins and ends so you can get into codependent & very emotionally needy relationships that end up being very unhealthy.
3.) Unaddressed emotional issues don’t get better over time, they actually compound. Everyone pays a price for your emotional unhealthiness.
For those ready to take the next step in your Emotional Intelligence growth, register for our course at eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
How frequently do you get triggered?
How intensely do you get triggered?
Are you aware of why you’re triggered?
How quickly do you realize you’re triggered?
How long does it take for you to come down off your “trigger”?
Do you have more emotional injuries to work on that you’re unaware of?
How do you know?
How can you be sure?
How do you know if you’ve healed an emotional injury?
For those ready to take your emotional health & emotional intelligence to the next level, check out EQforEntrepreneurs.com/eqa
For those interested in taking a scientific assessment of your emotional intelligence & getting a 1-on-1 session for me to interpret your assessment, visit EQforEntrepreneurs.com/training
How often do you get triggered?
How intensely do you get triggered?
How long do you stay triggered?
When do you become aware that you’re triggered?
What have you learned about yourself when you get triggered?
For those ready to take your emotional health & emotional intelligence to the next level, check out EQforEntrepreneurs.com/eqa
For those interested in taking a scientific assessment of your emotional intelligence & getting a 1-on-1 session for me to interpret your assessment, visit EQforEntrepreneurs.com/training
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
In every single relationship we have, we are both delivering our emotional intelligence or lack thereof and on the receiving end of the emotional intelligence or lack thereof.
How teachable are you?
Scale from 1-10?
Is it important to you to be teachable?
Could you be more teachable?
What are some things that impact one’s teachability?
maturity
pride
hubris
humility
curiosity
values
emotional intelligence which I feel would directly impact your emotional agility
ownership
Take ownership & responsibility of your growth & learning.
What are the consequences of being teachable and / or emotionally agile?
What are the consequences of not being teachable and / or emotionally agile?
For those ready to take your emotional health & emotional intelligence to the next level, check out EQforEntrepreneurs.com/eqa
For those interested in taking a scientific assessment of your emotional intelligence & getting a 1-on-1 session for me to interpret your assessment, visit EQforEntrepreneurs.com/training
Hassan has worked extensively with both the military and the private sector for 15 years.
We are able to impact and grow our emotional intelligence.
Are your current behaviors serving you most effectively?
If not, you can choose different behaviors by intentionally growing your EQ.
Our emotional health impacts us professionally AND personally.
Some folks see positive EQ growth at home which gives them confidence to try it at work.
Work on 1 - 3 emotional subscales at a time, but no more than 3 (of the 15 emotional subscales).
Leverage what you’re doing well emotionally to help grow some of your weaker areas.
EQ is about how we show up in life.
We can actually have too much engagement of a particular emotional subscale.
We can also have higher engagement in an emotional subscale for unhealthy reasons.
We need both insight & action. Insight alone isn’t enough.
EQi Scientific Assessment
www.EQforEntrepreneurs.com/training
Questions?
info@eqforentrepreneurs.com
8-Week EQ Course
www.EQforEntrepreneurs.com/eqa
How I’ve lost 45 lbs in 7 months
How I’ve been consistent at Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for the past 7 mos
How my physical health has been impacted by my emotional health
The massive breakthrough Kathy had this week after 20 years of being unaware and self-sabotaging.
How her unhealthy abandonment issues affected her physical health.
For EQi Scientific Assessment
www.EQforEntrepreneurs.com/training
Questions?
info@eqforentrepreneurs.com
8-Week EQ Course
www.EQforEntrepreneurs.com/eqa
Are you wholehearted?
What are the consequences of not being wholehearted?
How do you become wholehearted?
What do you want?
When you’re dead & your loved ones are giving your Eulogy, what will they say about you? What do you want them to say about you?
When do you feel death?
When do you feel loved?
Finish this sentence, “I am loved when _________________.”
Where do we avoid or engage at all costs in our lives?
Where do you need to risk?
What’s the next risk?
What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
Write down the areas in your life causing you stress & anxiety.
List all the emotions surrounding each of those areas causing stress.
Set timer for 1 min and allow yourself to feel each of the individual emotions in each of the areas causing stress for 1 min on each emotion.
Write a letter to each of the people that may be causing you stress. Don’t feel as if you need to actually give the letter to them. Just write the letter.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
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Some of West Point’s newer leader development programs
West Point’s Return To Learn program
Concussion Protocols
Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence model
Relationship between EQ and optimal human performance
Self-regulation
Confidence
5 Different Mental Skills
performance mindset
confidence
imagery
attention control / self-regulation
goal setting
So many developmental lessons to learn from failure.
Failure is part of the leader development system at West Point.
Gratitude bridge to confidence.
Confidence and vulnerability
Confidence and self-regulation
Confidence and identity
Of the people I’ve coached, 100% of my clients exhibited behaviors as an adult as a direct result of their childhood.
No one leaves their childhood unscathed.
Childhood emotional neglect
If you don’t deal w/your emotional issues, your children will.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
A few interesting stories of “friends”.
How do you define “friendship”?
How do you define “friend”?
What kind of friend are you?
Are you the type of friend you want?
Have you verbalized your friendship expectations?
Have you not verbalized your friendship expectations and still expect your “friends” to meet that unspoken standard they don’t know about nor have they agreed to it?
What qualities are important to you in a friend?
Over 20 years in business
Over 10 different start-up businesses
Takes lots of mental & emotional energy to make hundreds & thousands of decisions as an entrepreneur.
Especially in times of crisis.
An entrepreneur should hopefully thrive in adversity b/c of the nature of an entrepreneur.
It takes lots of emotional intelligence to wear so many different hats as an entrepreneur.
Your EQ will either limit you as an entrepreneur or help you thrive as an entrepreneur.
Every decision is filtered through our EQ grid.
Our EQ impacts how we look at adversity & challenges.
What are your coping mechanisms?
How are you seeing your emotional maturity playing out in your daily decision making—w/your colleagues, your clients, your family, your staff?
How does adversity & challenges impact or affect you?
Who is impacted by your EQ or lack thereof?
How can you grow your EQ?
How can you be more intentional?
Are you coming from an emotionally healthy place or not?
Are you succeeding from a healthy place?
2 calls from out of the blue
You never know who is watching you & how you’re living your life.
How often do you let your friends know that you’re thankful for them?
How good of a friend are you?
How can you be a better friend?
Be specific w/how someone has impacted you.
2 years before my dad died, every time he & I talked on the phone, he would tell me 3 things:
I love you.
I believe in you.
I’m proud of you.
How thankful are you?
Thankfulness is helpful for our own emotional health.
Seems like emotional intelligence & emotional capacity are directly proportional.
What triggers you?
What overwhelms you?
What shuts you down?
A lot of information and a lot of new information would’ve typically shut me down.
As soon as I started feeling overwhelmed, I journaled my thoughts and used a mind map which helped tremendously.
This has also impacted & improved my emotional & mental agility.
How mentally agile are you?
How emotionally agile are you?
What is currently impacting your mental & emotional agility?
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
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From 3 major social media influencers
Michael Stelzner (Social Media Marketing Events)
Jasmine Star (Instagram)
AJ Wilcox (LinkedIn)
1 - Secure in themselves
2 - Had courage, faith
3 - Desire to add value, impact & influence others
4 - Emotionally present & available
5 - Reflection: how do we make others feel
6 - Self-awareness & self-management to find & discover & share their voices, gifts, strengths
7 - What are your gifts, strengths & superpowers to share w/others?
Who needs to hear your story?
Who needs your gifts & strengths?
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
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What does your decision making process reveal about you?
How authentic are you? How do you know?
Are you self-aware enough to accurately answer those previous questions?
8 Questions to Assess Your Decision Making Process
1 - What decisions have you made recently?
2 - Why did you make them?
3 - Did someone want you to make those decisions?
4 - Did you truly have the freedom to make those decisions?
5 - What values drove your decisions?
6 - Did the outcomes & the manner you achieved those outcomes accurately reflect your true core values?
7 - What do those decisions reveal about you? Your motives? Your values?
8 - Is there an underlying pain or hurt behind any of your recent or past decisions?
Assessing your decision making process will help in discovering your true authentic self.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
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https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
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Why am I still failing in certain areas of my life?
Symptom or source?
Skillset or EQ?
Is “just do more work” enough?
Is “I just have to work harder” all there is?
Is “you just don’t want it bad enough” truly accurate?
How many of you are operating at your max capacity?
How many of you have been told to just work harder? or You’re not working hard enough? Most people.
By focusing on the symptom, I was consistently failing.
As soon as I started doing the emotional work, I started to get traction in my life.
What are you focusing on? the symptoms or source? Skillsets or emotional growth?
Focus on the root / source.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
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https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
Fun questions
Childhood story
Faith background
What does it mean to live a certain way as it relates to your values or upbringing?
How church community came alongside her during difficult times.
Are your inner & outer world congruent?
Do your actions align with your values?
How do you deal with disappointment?
Dysfunction among faithful followers
A community who loves well doesn’t settle for false peace.
What do you do when you’re disappointed or when you’re expectations aren’t met?
What is the connection between emotional & spiritual health?
The love of God and the love of people are inseparable. -Pete Scazzero
The love of people and the love & knowledge of oneself is inseparable.
Where do you get your model of human behavior from?
Bad theology & bad church history and how they impact us today.
Our view of God is tremendously impacted by our emotional grid.
What role do spiritual & emotional health play in mentorship & discipleship?
Book Recommendations:
Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero
Hidden Wholeness by Parker Palmer
Surrender To Love by David Benner
The Gift of Being Yourself by David Benner
Desiring God’s Will by David Benner
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
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https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
How we handled losing $90,000 in 2020.
Goal: Go through our valley w/peace, faith, trust, confidence, peace & patience.
Rather than stress, anxiety, worry & concern.
2 Corinthians 5:7
Hebrews 11:1
2 Corinthians 4:8-9
Philippians 4:10-13,19
5 “Results” of trusting God
Valley Questions:
What can you learn from your valley?
Can you be patient through the valley until your mountain top comes?
Can you be patient through the winter until your Spring comes?
How do you want to go through the valley or through the winter?
Don’t go through this adversity the same way you’ve gone through every other adversity.
Grow through this one.
Remember, if you don’t deal w/your emotional issues, your family, friends & co-workers will.
And, emotionally healthy people help heal other people emotionally.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
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https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
Lost 40lbs
Kept it off for 6 mos
Cooked for the very first time in my life
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu classes 5-6 days a week for 6 mos straight
Communication in my marriage
98% Less Triggers in my marriage
Finances
Parenting
Faith
You’re never too old to learn something new.
Start your emotional growth journey now. Don’t wait. It’s worth it.
So…how many years have you set New Years Resolutions or New Years “Goals”?
Of those years, what % of your goals did you complete each of those years?
What % of your annual goals do you not typically accomplish?
How long does it take before you fizzle out?
What kinds of goals have you hit?
What kinds of goals have you not hit?
Have you ever done an analysis on your “Goal Accomplishment Effectiveness?
What impact do you think emotional health plays on your actual goal accomplishment?
Today, we’re celebrating! This podcast hits 100 episodes and we are sharing some of the top lessons we’ve learned and where we’re going next. Really, we want to thank YOU, our amazing listeners! You have made it so fun to share this EQ journey and we have loved hearing about how you’re growing your Emotional Intelligence and changing your business, your families and your lives for the better. We are honored that you are here.
We have made some massive life changes over the past few years and today we want to pull back the curtain & share some of that story with you. Why would be sell our home & half our belongings and move across the country? Why would we walk away from $90K? And why on earth would we choose to walk away from our “dream life” that we had worked so hard to build? We’re sharing it all here. Let’s face it, when you’re faced with making massive life changes (whether by choice or because it’s being forced on you), it’s hard, scary & stressful. Here’s how we’ve navigated the massive changes we’ve made, and the big question that helped re-frame everything.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
Biggest areas of personal growth: emotional growth & healing
Emotions are kind of a big deal.
Pain & bitterness that’s not transformed will be transferred.
Stuffed emotions will find a way out.
Childhood Emotional Neglect
We all need emotional support.
Emotional issues don’t get better w/time.
I thought emotions didn’t matter.
Feelings & emotions are part of the truest parts of us.
God gave us feelings & emotions.
You can heal from your emotional injuries.
Some consequences of not having emotional health / emotional intelligence:
Not being in touch w/your emotions
Not knowing what you’re feeling
Might not know who you are or what your likes/dislikes are
Unable to relate or connect w/ others
Self-sabotage
Feel like you have a fatal flaw
One of the top indicators of high achievers is emotional intelligence.
Book: Emotional Intelligence 2.0
https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Intelligence-2-0-Travis-Bradberry/dp/0974320625/
What’s it like being a global social media influencer?
2 Chronicles 7:14
The Lie of Non-Essential
Help me be a light in a really dark world.
Thankful for the platform.
Homeschooling for 25 years & 7 kids & 3 grandkids
What has your homeschool journey been like?
Have you encouraged yourself through your homeschooling journey?
Used to make fun of homeschoolers
You don’t get a do-over w/your kids.
We want to be the primary influencers in the lives of our kids.
Homeschooling is worth it but not easy.
If it’s worth it, it’s gonna be hard.
Weeping over the state of the nation & of the church.
Learn to feel so deeply
What advice would you give to those families wanting to homeschool?
Many are not actually homeschooling, they’re pandemic schooling.
Focus on the relationship w/your kids.
Look at the preciousness of your children.
Most expensive form of education is private tutoring, which is what we’re doing as parents. As homeschooling parents, we are privately tutoring our children.
Character over curriculum
What are the top 3 life lessons you’ve learned?
Why are you educating your children?
We should be looking for fruit on the tree.
What kind of fruit is someone producing?
Cultivating a child’s heart
Biblical worldview
Fear is the new pandemic
False Evidence Appearing Real
We will do anything for self-preservation & to avoid suffering.
Homeschooling is not about patience, but about perspective.
The best things in life are gonna be hard.
What’s God trying to do in your life through homeschooling?
Where do faith & culture collide?
Website
http://heidistjohn.com/
Heidi St. John (Instagram)
https://www.instagram.com/heidistjohn/
Heidi St. John (Facebook)
https://www.facebook.com/BusyMomOfficial
Becoming MomStrong book
https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-MomStrong-Fight-Thats-Family/dp/1496412664
Off The Bench With Heidi St. John
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/off-the-bench-with-heidi-st-john/id797248294
MomStrong International
https://momstronginternational.com/
List your Lessons, Blessings & Impactful Relationships of 2020
List where your blessings came from in 2020
Zach Thomas
https://www.linkedin.com/in/theleaderfarmer/
Leader Farming
https://leaderfarming.com/
Eric Lopez
https://www.linkedin.com/in/eric-lopez-40860a74/
Lopez On Leadership
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEklLA0a1LDP3cVAJXiCMTA
Fervent Church
https://fervent.org/
Garrett Graupner
https://www.linkedin.com/in/garrett-graupner-aa186934/
Classical Conversations
https://www.classicalconversations.com/
Prime Brazilian Jiu Jitsu
https://www.primebjj.com/
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
West Point story
Writing journey
TV Projects:
Lie To Me
Army Wives
The 100
Narcos
Shooter
Animal Kingdom
The Fix
The Chi
Tenacity
Favorite aspects of screenwriting:
Leading
Creating
Problem solving
Helping others break into the industry
Tips to break into the industry
Importance of emotional intelligence in Hollywood
Leadership & Self-Deception book
https://www.amazon.com/Leadership-Self-Deception-Getting-Out-Box-ebook/dp/B00GUPYRUS
Emotional Intelligence 2.0
https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Intelligence-2-0-Travis-Bradberry/dp/0974320625/
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
My story of coping
Stuffing
Avoiding
Stewing
How are you coping?
How do you cope?
Do you have a system or process for coping?
Healthy vs unhealthy coping
Personal coping assessment
Noble’s 8 Step Personal Coping System
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
Certainty is the enemy of progress & personal development.
How our childhoods impact our worldviews.
How emotionally stable & safe childhoods can lead to emotionally healthy adults who have the freedom to challenge, question, fail, create, accept & take risks.
Non-violent Communication
Using objective communication
Finding life’s currents
Dealing with uncertainty
Underthinking vs overthinking
Relationships are worth working on.
Importance of gratitude
How do you view disruption?
Growth mindset
Embracing discomfort
How to work / think w/a global mindset
What can / should entrepreneurs do differently?
What’s one true thing?
“I would’ve written less, but I didn’t have enough time.” -Mark Twain
Building bridges & being curious
What brings you deep joy?
The power of global travel
Kickasspirational
Podcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/kickasspirational-podcast/id1415512533
Kickasspirational Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/kickasspirational/
David Vanderveen
https://www.instagram.com/daveed58/
Sarah Vanderveen
https://www.instagram.com/skvanderveen/
Brooks Street Books
https://www.brooksstreetbooks.com/
Inner Game of Tennis book
https://www.amazon.com/Inner-Game-Tennis-Classic-Performance/dp/0679778314
Nonviolent Communication
https://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships/dp/189200528X/
Mindset book
https://www.amazon.com/Mindset-Psychology-Carol-S-Dweck/dp/0345472322
Wim Hoff Method book
https://www.amazon.com/Wim-Hof-Method-Activate-Potential/dp/1683644093
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
Story: Mission trip to La Vega, Dominican Republic in high school
Brief context / background / story
-2020 has been fraught w/emotional ups & downs. In some cases, more downs than ups.
-this year has been filled w/fear, anxiety, uncertainty, disappointment, sadness, grief, frustration, unpredictability, inconsistency, helplessness, lack of control, pain, hurt, injury (physical, mental, emotional & spiritual)
So…why gratitude?
Why gratefulness?
What does “gratefulness” “do” for us?
1.) It shifts our perspective.
2.) It allows us & helps us take our eyes off ourselves.
3.) Imho, it changes the state of our heart.
4.) It reveals things about us by paying attention to what we’re grateful for.
5.) It’s anti-selfishness medicine.
6.) From an EQ perspective, it increases self- & social-awareness. (And the exercises below will help w/self- & social-management.)
Action steps:
1.) Begin a grateful journal. Make a list of all the things you’re thankful for in 2020.
2.) Make 3 entries a day for what you’re grateful for.
3.) Message 3 people right now why you’re thankful for them. Pay attention to how it makes you feel to give & receive a “thankfulness” message.
4.) Make thankfulness a part of your family culture. Everyone shares 3 things at each meal, what they’re thankful for. Make it different each time. Document the list. Review your lists monthly, quarterly or annually.
5.) Observe how life & perspective changes once you begin the practice of gratitude.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
Noble’s Personal story
Noble’s Professional story
The Transformation
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
Why we chose to homeschool
Thoughts for new homeschool families
Schedule vs Routine
Socialization
Reading out loud
Lessons you want your children to learn
Why are you educating your children?
Love of learning
Tools of learning
Grades
Recharging
On failure
Learning trends
Strengths
Discovering your children
Stephanie’s Facebook Group
Let’s Raise Emotionally Intelligent Kids
https://www.facebook.com/groups/letsraiseemotionallyintelligentkids
Boundaries book by Henry Cloud
https://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Updated-Expanded-When-Control/dp/0310351804/
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
1.) Pray
2.) Initial assessment & inventory of how you’re currently feeling about the holidays
3.) Perspective on how you want the holidays to go and that not all your family members have been actively growing their EQ.
4.) Expectations: List your expectations of the holidays.
5.) Boundaries: Set / establish your personal boundaries before heading into the holidays.
6.) Discover your family & friends on a deeper level by asking questions.
7.) Forgiveness: Be prepared to forgive before, during & after the holidays. Also be prepared to ask for forgiveness.
8.) Choose to love.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
IQ may get you hired, but EQ gets you promoted.
Will’s story:
Athletics
Acting
Heartbreak
Journaling
Yoga
Mindfulness
How journaling led to self-discovery
How acting contributed to his growth journey
Meditation & yoga
The importance & power of breathing
What is our biological brilliance
Will (Instagram)
https://www.instagram.com/willnotfear/
Will (LinkedIn)
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mindfulnessleader/
Will (Facebook)
https://www.facebook.com/willatwillnotfear
Will (YouTube)
https://www.youtube.com/user/MoxieWill
The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
https://www.amazon.com/Artists-Way-Spiritual-Higher-Creativity/dp/1585421472
How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
https://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671027034
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
“ETBR”
- Emotionally healthy family
- Triggers
- Boundaries
- Recharge
Book Recommendations:
The 5 Love Languages:
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Languages-Secret-that-Lasts/dp/080241270X
Personality Plus
https://www.amazon.com/Personality-Plus-Understand-Understanding-Yourself/dp/080075445X
StrengthsFinder2.0
https://www.amazon.com/StrengthsFinder-2-0-Tom-Rath/dp/159562015X
Ep. 59: How To Create An Emotionally Healthy Family (Daniel Haggedorn)
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/eq-for-entrepreneurs/id1497445408?i=1000488328991
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
Being born in a Pakistani refugee camp
To Queens, NY
To Pipestone, MN
Life Lessons from her father:
1.) Education
2.) Hard work
3.) No excuses
4.) You can be whatever you want
Started babysitting at 8 y/o to help provide for the family.
Dishwasher, waitress, hardware store, bartender, golf course
Played in the high school state basketball championship
Enlisted in the Army National Guard
Recruited to play basketball at West Point
Judo National Champion
Semi-finalist Golden Gloves boxing
Only woman to go to Field Artillery in USMA Class of 2010
First Woman Artillery Cannon Platoon Leader
Had great mentors along the way
Husband was deployed during birth of first child
Army Brigade Operations Officer in an all-male unit working 12-14 hours a day w/a new baby.
Made the decision to breastfeed but it was very difficult to do in the Army.
How she handled & approached external failure.
Had her second son & went straight into Company Command. Spent lots of time in the field w/little to no control over my schedule.
Couldn’t find a solution anywhere, so decided to create one. That was the “birth” of Zanbazan.
Importance of critical thinking as an entrepreneur
Insights on healthy view of failure
How she’s handled the emotional ups & downs of being an entrepreneur
One of the hardest aspects of her emotional journey
Advice to entrepreneurs
Nargis Mougey, LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/nargis-kabiri-mougey-mba-ms-ab168b5a/
Nargis Mougey, Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/nargis.mougey
Zanbazan
https://www.zanbazan.com/
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR” https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ: https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW: https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY: https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
Life lessons from academic failure at West Point
Learning how to learn
The unhealthy reason why he became a high achiever in so many areas
Understanding your limitations & weaknesses
Importance of self-awareness
Facing your insecurities
Leadership
Justin Cremer, LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/justinlcremer/
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
Story of how Lee’s childhood contributed to his successful career
The concept of image management
The ultimate professional goal
How do we as a leadership team create an inspired organization
Performance anxiety
Thoughts & role of EQ
Dealing w/inter-function tension w/“productive conflict”
Radical transparency
3 “buckets” to consider in business:
- People
- Strategy
- Execution
On creating a healthy culture
Leading w/authority vs leading w/empathy
An Emotionally Intelligent leader development process
Influence book:
https://www.amazon.com/Influence-Psychology-Persuasion-Business-Essentials-ebook/dp/B002BD2UUC
Start With Why book:
https://www.amazon.com/Start-Why-Leaders-Inspire-Everyone/dp/1591846447/ref=asc_df_1591846447/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312106851030&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6212021128382444203&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9029034&hvtargid=pla-394932354867&psc=1
Principles book:
https://www.amazon.com/Principles-Life-Work-Ray-Dalio/dp/1501124021/ref=sr_1_3?crid=VLP677SPFLJ8&dchild=1&keywords=ray+dalio+principles&qid=1604302432&s=books&sprefix=ray+dali%2Cstripbooks%2C197&sr=1-3
Ego Free Leadership book:
https://www.amazon.com/Ego-Free-Leadership-Unconscious-Business/dp/1626343799/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1604303832&sr=1-3
EQ Accelerator Course: https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR” https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ: https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW: https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY: https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
Emotions in transition
How to approach a transition
Where do you feel exposed?
Where do you find yourself hiding?
Becoming a man that has:
Nothing to Hide
Nothing to Prove
Nothing to Fear
Zach Thomas on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/theleaderfarmer/
Morgan Snyder on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/morgan-snyder-4335b5119/
Becoming A King book
https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-King-Path-Restoring-Heart/dp/0785231854/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwufn8BRCwARIsAKzP694UcYcFOSWCzI9lB-lvEXj1PB09TEYZgJtiw3_LrnddiAcFqmZO7n4aAogLEALw_wcB&hvadid=445097459433&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9029030&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=3059303031983510060&hvtargid=kwd-921070338688&hydadcr=22560_10346221&keywords=becoming+a+king+book&qid=1604274127&sr=8-1&tag=googhydr-20
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
- The Cop experience
- Dealing with bad apples
- Culture
- Emotional health
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
- Story of her start-up, xigxag
- Insights about her confidence journey
- Insights about women in business
- Lessons learned from 8 years at McKinsey
- How she has grown her EQ
- The importance of EQ in the workplace
- Sexism & diversity in the workplace
- Cultural differences between U.S. & U.K.
- Work-life balance
Xig Xag
https://xigxag.co.uk/
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
- Who can you reach out to?
- Who can you encourage today…in the middle of your own stress…is there someone you can uplift?
- Who can you help “level up” their game?
- Is there someone in your network that you can help step up their performance, quality, network, knowledge, etc.?
- Do I make things fun & enjoyable for others?
- How can I be more intentional at adding fun into a conversation or relationship?
- What affect does ‘fun’ have on myself & others?
- Who can I brainstorm about their business to help take their business to the next level?
- What creative ideas can I share w/someone that may add value to them?
- Who knows something that I don’t that can add value to my tribe or podcast audience?
- Who encourages you?
- Who inspires you?
- Who challenges you to be better?
The Links & People Mentioned in the Podcast:
Symmetry
symmetry.com
The Ambitious Vet Podcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-ambitious-vet-podcast/id1345202194
Entrepreneurs On Fire Podcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/entrepreneurs-on-fire-online-business-podcast/id564001633
Lopez On Leadership
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEklLA0a1LDP3cVAJXiCMTA
Seeking Excellence
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/seeking-excellence/id1528863617
thosewhoseek.org
Michelle Garabito
https://www.instagram.com/michellegarabito/
Fervent Church
Fervent.org
Homeschool Program
ClassicalConversations.com
Prime BJJ
https://www.primebjj.com/
The Marine Rapper
https://www.instagram.com/themarinerapper/
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
1.) What / Who has had the most influence in who you’ve become as a leader
2.) The importance of emotional intelligence in leadership.
2.) Qualities of healthy leadership
3.) System for more consistent & effective thinking
Lopez On Leadership:
YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEklLA0a1LDP3cVAJXiCMTA
LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/eric-lopez-40860a74/
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/lopezonleadership/
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/lopezonleadership
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
When you grow your emotional intelligence, it affects every area of your life in a positive way. Here's the story of how it helped me overcome emotional eating & get my health back!
1.) Background story & context.
2.) 7 Lessons
a.) Being in a Valley
b.) Timing
c.) Daily habit
d.) Environment matters
e.) New information
f.) Emotional health & intelligence
g.) Redefine / reframe success
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
Have you ever struggled to forgive?
Listen as this global exec shares his story of how Emotional Intelligence helped him overcome his hurt & finally be able to forgive.
The impact this forgiveness has had on him, both personally & professionally is profound & inspiring.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
Discussion Questions:
1.) What steps / processes should someone take in order to become more self aware?
2.) What made you start this journey of studying emotional intelligence?
3.) I’ve heard you speak on having a personal / family mission statement. What process would someone take in order to actually develop those that are inline with their core values? (Loaded question)
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
Why do top leaders value emotional intelligence so much? They know it's the key to being a better leader.
Joe Bogden is the founder of The Llama Lounge leadership podcast, and an adjunct professor of Leadership Studies as well an E-9 in the Air Force.
He has led various missions across the world and currently oversees hundreds of civilians & military professionals alike.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
We had done it. We built a successful business and were able to walk away from our jobs at the ripe old age of 30. We were living the dream!
Until we weren't.
Today we're sharing the story of the mistakes we made that left us completely burnt out.
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
John Lee Dumas is the host of Entrepreneurs on Fire, an award-winning podcast, where he interviews inspiring Entrepreneurs who are truly ON FIRE.
Find out why he says emotional health is essential to becoming a successful entrepreneur!
With over 2500 episodes, 1 million + listens a month, and seven-figures of annual revenue, JLD is just getting started. Visit EOFire.com to set YOUR Entrepreneurial journey ON FIRE!
Plus, hear the worst sales pitch ever for our new course: EQ Accelerator!
Doors open today!
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
Are you currently playing small when you should be playing at the next level?
Have you been trying to make more money, but can’t seem to break through that invisible barrier?
Do you have stories about money that are not serving you well?
You need an EQ breakthrough!
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
How much have you invested in yourself over the past year? 5 years? 10 years? I’m not asking how much you’ve invested in your business. I’m talking about YOU.
People think the biggest asset in their business is their social media following or email list or the size of their network or the technology tools & marketing system they have....or even the amazing products and services they offer. They’re wrong.
Yes, those things are all assets, but the biggest asset in your business is actually YOU.
What are you doing to grow YOU?
Lopez On Leadership YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEklLA0a1LDP3cVAJXiCMTA
Links to Jerry Creekmore’s 2 books on Amazon:
1.) All Slaves Aren’t Meant to be Free: https://www.amazon.com/All-Slaves-Arent-Meant-Free/dp/B089M2FKVL/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=jerry+creekmore&qid=1599883991&sr=8-1
2.) Your Comfort Zone Is the Beginning to Your End: https://www.amazon.com/YOUR-COMFORT-ZONE-BEGINNING-END/dp/B08DC5VX5P/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=jerry+creekmore&qid=1599884031&sr=8-2
EQ Accelerator Course:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/eqa
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
Has it started to feel like your business is running you instead of the other way around?
Like every area of your life, you need boundaries in your business.
Here’s a few questions to get you thinking about what boundaries you may need to set in your business.
MINI-COURSE “HOW TO BE EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY”:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/emotionalhealth
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
Are you tired of hearing people tell you to just “be more confident” or “believe in yourself more”?
That advice doesn’t help!
A lack of confidence keeps you stuck, playing small and keeps you from making money and making an Impact.
The good news is this: there are steps you can take to actually move you closer and closer to confidence. There are real things you can do that will help you get there.
We’ll tell you how.
MINI-COURSE “HOW TO BE EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY”:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/emotionalhealth
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
Have you ever made a bad decision in life or business due to being emotionally hijacked?
What if you could better create the ideal scenario for you to make good decisions on a regular basis?
Good decision-making is a serious advantage in the business world...here’s how to do it.
MINI-COURSE “HOW TO BE EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY”:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/emotionalhealth
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/tacoquiz
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
Alex's story of world travel and emotional growth is going to leave you inspired to continue growing your own EQ!
Hear how he responded to the toxicity he found in his environment and the work he's done to overcome fear.
And find out what he means when he says he doesn't want to recognize himself next year!
MINI-COURSE “HOW TO BE EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY”:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/emotionalhealth
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
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MINI-COURSE “HOW TO BE EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY”:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/emotionalhealth
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
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In what areas in your life have you developed barriers that are preventing you from being able to hear or understand another person’s perspective?
Are there things or people that you hold so sacred that there’s no space for anyone to be able to speak into?
The dangerous thing about ‘sacred cows’ is that you have limited yourself from growing or gaining any new truth in that area.
MINI-COURSE “HOW TO BE EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY”:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/emotionalhealth
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
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Episode 60: The relationship between faith and EQ
Date: Thurs, August 20, 2020
Show Notes:
Faith & emotional intelligence are two sides to the same coin.
Without emotional intelligence, it’s really hard to truly walk by faith & grow in your walk with God!
And without faith, your emotional intelligence can lead you to be very self-centered and possibly even manipulative.
MINI-COURSE “HOW TO BE EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY”:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/emotionalhealth
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
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]
EQE Interview w/Daniel Hagadorn
Entertainment Publicity
Public & Private High School Teacher
Homeschool Dad
Entrepreneur: Preparing Kids for Life
Why he chose to homeschool his daughter.
Read John Taylor Gatto: https://www.johntaylorgatto.com/
Weapons of Mass Instruction
The Underground History of Public Education
Dumbing Us Down
A Different Kind of Teacher
How did you get into your own business?
Saw parents being incredibly insecure about the middle-to-high school age. Wanted to do something about it.
Wanted to empower parents w/the mindset of why they should be trusting themselves & not the state or government to educate their children.
12:55
5 Dimensions / Pillars to 360 Degree Parenting:
Spiritual
Emotional
Mental
Social
Physical
14:39 - What do grades measure?
19:00 - Kids are paying the biggest price, in terms of lost potential
19:30 - We believe parents are the #1 experts on their kids.
21:45 - If you mock something long enough, pretty soon you lose respect for it. -CS Lewis
25:00 - Emotional intelligence of our nation based on how many are misbehaving.
25:40
How do we raise emotionally healthy children?
27:40 - Story of how he lost his cool w/his daughter while shopping.
Couple years later, she didn’t even remember it.
29:40 - If we don’t deal w/our stuff, our kids will have to deal w/our stuff.
What legacy do you want to leave?
33:00 - The legacy you’re going to leave w/your kids you won’t find it in a text book or from a teacher or professor.
34:15 - Story of Daniel writing a card to his dad who was coming down w/dementia & all the things he learned from his dad. Dad only cried twice. That was one of the times. “My whole life was worth it.”
35:20 - Let’s give our kids a childhood they don’t have to recover from.
100% of my coaching clients exhibited behaviors as an adult as a direct result of their childhood.
38:00 - Pain & bitterness that’s not transformed will be transferred.
40:00 - How should parents begin the journey of working on themselves?
How much is your pain costing you?
41:20 - You need to start w/your belief system.
42:45 - We don’t know how to process trauma.
MINI-COURSE “HOW TO BE EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY”:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/emotionalhealth
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
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MINI-COURSE “HOW TO BE EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY”:
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FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
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Navy Veteran, Rob Lysko, interviews Noble on the correlation between EQ & Leadership. While the conversation centered around military leadership, the lessons are for all of us.
For anyone who is in a position of leadership, this conversation is a must-listen. And it's sobering...he gives an example where people have lost their lives b/c of a leader's low EQ.
You may not be in a position where that could happen, but every position of leadership has the capacity to impact people's lives...for the better or for the worse.
Let's learn to lead with high Emotional Intelligence.
MINI-COURSE “HOW TO BE EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY”:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/emotionalhealth
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
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Have you ever met an adult who acts like an emotional child?
Emotional injuries from our past don’t just come from the things that happened TO you...sometimes the emotional issues we face as adults come from the things that SHOULD have happened to us, but didn’t.
What ends up happening is this: the coping mechanisms we developed as children keep us stuck emotionally at whatever age we were when we developed that coping mechanism!
MINI-COURSE “HOW TO BE EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY”:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/emotionalhealth
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
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Marine Corps veteran turned rapper, Raymond Lott (aka “The Marine Rapper”), shares his entrepreneur journey and how Emotional Intelligence has played a huge role in his success.
You can find Raymond on all platforms under “The Marine Rapper”.
MINI-COURSE “HOW TO BE EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY”:
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/emotionalhealth
FREE E-BOOK “THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR”
https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide
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Real talk: I realized I’ve been hiding...both in our business and in my life in general.
As I dug deeper, I was really judging myself through other people’s eyes...totally wrapped up in worrying about what ‘they’ were thinking of me.
The self-awareness bomb that dropped for me was this: What if they’re not thinking about you at all, and you spend your whole life playing small for nothing?
It’s time to come out of hiding...here’s how to start.
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Have you ever felt overwhelmed?
Have you been completely paralyzed & shut down by the feeling of overwhelm?
We want to encourage you with a story of how God took me from overwhelmed in a negative way to being overwhelmed in a very positive, encouraging way.
Stay the course, you are on God’s mind, and where you’re at now, and how you’re feeling isn’t permanent. It won’t last forever.
You have gifts inside you that are a blessing to others...it’s time to share them!
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Here’s where we were just a few days go: Frustrated Down in the dumps Some of our marketing efforts haven’t been working Freebie/Lead Magnet hasn’t been working Email list hasn’t grown much Questioning our efforts Questioning our business Doubting Finances-needing to be smart Emotional Both down at the same time (which is something you try to avoid) Exhausted (how many entrepreneurs aren’t?) Overwhelmed (if you’ve started any business, you know the start-up phase is both exhausting & overwhelming) Check out today’s episode to hear how we handled this emotional valley. Because here’s the truth: NOT allowing yourself the freedom & patience to feel & emote, can cause emotional paralysis which can lead to ineffective decision making. Here’s how we’ve allowed ourselves the freedom, permission, patience & grace to feel these big negative emotions. TAKE THE TACO QUIZ:
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In what areas are you playing small?
Do you know WHY you’re playing small?
What story are you telling yourself that is causing you to play small?
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Increasing your emotional intelligence will help you be a more effective entrepreneur, family member, friend, leader & decision maker...but only if you actually learn how to implement it well!
There’s a huge difference between learning about EQ and actually developing your EQ. That secret is practice. It takes practice to get good at any new skill, and EQ skills are no exception. When we started growing our EQ, we talked about it with each other DAILY...and honestly, most days, we still do. The ability to have a safe person to discuss what we’re feeling, learning & processing has been invaluable for us to grow.
My friend, you need a community. Having a community of like-minded people who are also learning about & growing their EQ will help you grow exponentially!
Today, Noble shares 5 reasons being in a growth community is the best, fastest way to grow your emotional intelligence.
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It doesn’t get any more raw than this. This is Noble processing his feelings in the bottom of a valley...and how he turns it around.
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Have you ever felt unworthy?
Unworthy of all that life has to offer? Unworthy to ask for help? Unworthy for blessings? Unworthy to receive? Unworthy to invest in yourself? Unworthy to take care of yourself? Unworthy to make yourself a priority? Unworthy to discover your purpose? Unworthy to discover what makes you tick? Unworthy to invest in your strengths?
Unworthy of all that God has for you?
You are not alone. Here’s where my unworthiness came from and what I’m doing to change it.
B/c here’s the truth: you ARE worthy!
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Uncertain times reveal our level of resilience...and they can help us GROW our resilience, if we’re intentional.
Here are some practical ways to build resilience in your business & in your life.
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Join us as we chat with life coach Sue Bidstrup about getting over the things that are holding you back from saying YES to what God has for you!
About Sue:
Sue Bidstrup is a certified professional life coach who is passionate about encouraging women to say YES! to a greater calling in their life, to live with passion and purpose and make a difference in the world! She hosts a weekly podcast, Great Big YES and has created a thriving membership (Team YES!) for women entrepreneurs, business owners and visionaries who are ready to say YES! to their God given dream. Sue empowers her clients to move past fear and stay connected to purpose as they increase their influence and impact. She will help you create a business and a life you love!
Website: greatbigyes.com
Instagram: @greatbigyes
Facebook: @greatbigyes
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Have you ever been in an emotional valley? I have...recently.
Confusion kills; clarity is king. Here’s what I did to help me get some clarity in the midst of this valley.
Today I’m sharing 6 lessons I learned during my last emotional valley, in the midst of overwhelming emotions.
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You’ve probably been there before, and with everything going on in our world today, you may be there right now.
Emotional exhaustion is when you feel emotionally worn-out and completely drained...usually as a result of built-up and prolonged emotional stress.
It takes a huge toll on your health, your happiness, your productivity in business, and your relationships.
But there are things you can do to help yourself when you find yourself emotionally exhausted...some that may seem a little counter-intuitive, but these are all things we have learned and we do...and they help!
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We learned this truth from our counselor:
Nobody can take care of my feelings & emotions, except for me, even when they try to.
Let’s say that another way:
Nobody is responsible for taking care of another person’s feelings & emotions, except for them...even when they want you to take care of their feelings & emotions!
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Self-Sabotage is the act of undermining your goals and dreams with unhelpful actions.
It’s when you do things that end up hurting you...without really realizing that’s what you’re doing!
The scary part is, most of the time, people don’t even know they’re doing it.
We have been there, done that, unfortunately.
Today we talk about recognizing ways you may be self-sabotaging your business or your life. Learn to get to the root of what’s causing it so you can create real change!
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HOW TO GET OFF THE ENTREPRENEUR’S EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER:
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Everybody has self-talk!
Who do you talk to the most? Yourself.
What does that self-talk sound like?
Are you condemning yourself and tearing yourself down constantly?
All the external work you’re doing in your life & your business won’t stick if you don’t do the internal work.
Here’s 6 ways to change your self-talk so it’ll build your confidence, rather than tear you down.
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This is just our opinion, but we feel like all of us have experienced trauma just from the events of 2020 so far.
First, the global pandemic affected all of us. Not only were we experiencing the fear of catching the virus, but there was also the stress of lost jobs & businesses, daily anxiety from watching the news, the isolation that came from quarantine orders, disappointment and sadness when meaningful events were cancelled...and so much more.
And now, the US is experiencing massive amounts of racial unrest...much of which stems from generations of trauma.
We as individuals, and as a society, have to learn to address our own trauma if we are to move towards health.
Today, we are interviewing Bethany Matheson, M.ED., LPC, RYT200, who specializes in treating people who have endured trauma. She’s sharing the practical things we can do NOW to begin to address and heal our own trauma.
Learn more about Bethany at: www.bravelybeing.com
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Today’s episode is from a Facebook live Noble did this week, and we wanted to share it with you all.
We see you, we hear you, we are with you.
You are known and loved.
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Have you ever been triggered?
Something happens and you’re instantly eyeball-deep in powerful emotions.
It may even cause you to behave in extreme ways - ways you wouldn’t normally behave.
We all get triggered...something happens that brings up old, buried feelings & emotions. Typically, triggers cause us to REACT... to act out of those emotions without thinking. These reactions are usually very unproductive, and they can be downright harmful to you and to the people you love.
What if there was a different way?
What if you could respond instead of react?
You can! It’s the
We’ll tell you how...it’s a game-changer!!
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How does authenticity impact your leadership, your influence, your business?
Drew Carey said it this way: “The only time I have been disappointed with myself is when I haven’t been authentic.”
How authentic can you be as a leader or an influencer when the wrong things are driving your decision-making process?
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Your brand is the intersection of what you’re putting out into the world & how people perceive you to be.
Whether you like it or not, in today’s day & age, if you’re a business owner, you ARE building a brand...you’re either doing it intentionally, or you’re definitely doing it unintentionally! Either way, you’re still known for something, but without intention, it’s going to be fuzzy, unclear, and probably not what you want it to be.
Have you been struggling to define your brand and to find your authentic voice?
Here’s why, and here’s what to do about it.
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The area you think you know the most about, you’re the least teachable in.
When it comes to personal competence and social competence, which are you higher in? Where do you have work to do? Just because you’ve grown in one area, that doesn’t mean you’re growing in all of them!
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We have been personal growth & development junkies for years, no, for DECADES! We have read So many books! And trust me, we love those books! We have grown & learned so much reading them and we are better people b/c of it.
BUT...we also know something else on a deep level...after reading all those amazing books shouldn’t we be further along? Shouldn’t we have made more progress in certain areas than we have? Why on earth, then, do we still feel stuck?
Here’s 4 reasons you may not be changing as much you should be...has this happened to you?
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You cannot escape the effects your own emotional intelligence has on your own leadership and the way you develop other leaders!
If you don’t grow your own emotional intelligence, you won’t attract people who have higher emotional intelligence than you. And if, by chance, you do happen to attract them, they won’t stay around very long.
The problem is that most leaders aren’t able to effectively assess their own level of emotional intelligence!
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In part 3 of the Dark Side of Emotional Intelligence series, we’re discussing what to do if you realize you’re being affected by someone who is controlling & manipulative, as well as what to do if you realize you’re the one DOING the controlling & manipulation.
There are answers, and you don’t have to stay in this crazy cycle!
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We don’t often hear about the downside of being innovative. In the Entrepreneur world, things don’t always work out the way you want them to. It’s lonely at times. Sometimes people who are important to us don’t understand what we’re doing.
Do you have the emotional stamina to endure & see your vision through to the end?
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We got so much response back from you on Part 1 that we’re diving back for Part 2 of the Dark Side of EQ.
Today we’re talking about the 1 thing that is almost always present in a controlling relationship, and we’ll give you 14 tactics that people use to control & manipulate.
When you know the tactics, you’ll start to recognize them when they’re being used against you. And this is just one more reason why learning Emotional Intelligence is SO IMPORTANT: it protects you against falling prey to these kinds of things.
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We all have a certain bandwidth for handling emotions & feelings, and that bandwidth is limited. Once we have hit the limit of our bandwidth, it’s time to take a break. Step away, and you’ll free up some more of that bandwidth again and you can come back to it later. This is the process of growth!
Pain that’s not transformed will be transferred. It’s so important to come back and continue processing your feelings & emotions!
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I read something just this week about Emotional Intelligence that absolutely made me stop in my tracks. There are people teaching & using emotional skills to control & manipulate others!!
I want to be clear here - this is very wrong! This is the absolute wrong motive & use of emotional intelligence. Sometimes as entrepreneurs, we want so much to win. We want to be successful and we want to make a difference. But if we want it so much that we are willing to use any means to win, it makes us too susceptible to using these skills in a way that may help us in the short run, but hurts people in the long run.
I hope...I really hope, that you’re into personal development as much as you’re into marketing, sales and networking strategies! Those things are important, but here’s the reality: you are your business! And if you’re not working on growing yourself, your business will eventually plateau, if it ever really gets off the ground at all.
And when it comes to personal development, emotional intelligence is like a secret mind hack that so few people even know about! We are trying to change that! If you have entrepreneur friends, would you do them a favor and share this podcast with them?
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What is the difference between healthy ‘alone time’ and unhealthy isolation? (Note: we are not talking about social distancing due to coronavirus...we are talking about isolating yourself emotionally from other people)
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Have you ever found yourself surprised by people who should be ‘acting their age’, but don’t?
Age is not a guarantee of maturity!
What does someone who is emotionally mature look like? What decisions do they make? How do they behave? What does their interaction with other people look like? What does it feel like to be emotionally mature?
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Your mental, emotional and leadership capacity all affects your resilience. How do you handle it when you’re overwhelmed, and at the verge of shutting down? The good news is: your resilience capacity can grow! It’s a skill that can be learned! DOWNLOAD THE RESILIENT ENTREPRENEUR GUIDE: https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/treguide SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW: https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY: https://www.facebook.com/groups/eqforentrepreneurs/ EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/ EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
It takes a lot of mental & emotional energy to create and build a business...especially in times of uncertainty! You can’t exclude your emotional intelligence from who you are as an entrepreneur...it’s impossible...it will always impact your business.
What is your decision-making like during this stressful time? Are you even aware of it? How can you be more intentional about making good decisions in your business right now? Are you coming from an emotionally healthy place right now?
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A personal example of how I recognized an emotional wave, and how I handled it. Every little step of progress is a step in the right direction!
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The coronavirus pandemic is causing so many people to have to face major unexpected changes right now.
Change is inevitable, but growth is optional.
For entrepreneurs, it is vital to learn how to handle the massive, inevitable changes that are happening right now. Your EQ plays a huge part in how you look at change – do you have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset? It makes all the difference in the outcome you’ll create.
We’re also sharing some practical things you may need to look at changing right now in your business & your life.
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Growing your Emotional Intelligence requires Truth, Grace, Time and Community. Here’s how they work together to create the optimal conditions for growth.
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Let’s face it: everything is changing. Even when the coronavirus crisis has passed, we will be living in a different world. As entrepreneurs and leaders, we need to be able to adapt to what is happening around us, and to do it with courage, empathy & understanding of the people we serve.
This takes RESILIENCE.
We have been business owners through Y2K, Sept 11, the 2008 stock market crash and right now, our country & our world is dealing with coronavirus...and we’ve learned some things that can help you navigate this.
We believe your Emotional Intelligence is the MOST IMPORTANT thing you can be working on right now as an entrepreneur, leader & influencer. It will be the key to helping you not only survive this crisis, but also to find a way to thrive.
The people you serve need you to lead from a healthy place right now. Here are 5 strategies to do just that. Be sure to download the special pdf guide that goes with this episode...it will walk you through the 5 strategies so you can make them your own.
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How much of your time & energy goes to controlling the image you portray to the people around you? The greater the distance between the image you try so hard to portray and who you TRULY are is a clue that your EQ needs to grow!
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Why would a top female military leader and entrepreneur choose to invest in growing her emotional intelligence? In today’s special interview, COL Rose Keravouri shares what happened in her business and her career when she began investing in her emotional intelligence & personal growth. Rose is a graduate of the United States Military Academy at West Point, the CEO and Co-Founder at ROSE -Rise Out in Support of Empowering- Women LLC, and is a Brigade Commander in the US Army Reserves.
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It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog. In what areas of your life are you making excuses or telling yourself stories that are limiting you? SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW: https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY: https://www.facebook.com/groups/3396079827100433/ EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/ EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
Here are 18 reasons why smart entrepreneurs are investing the time to work on their emotional intelligence! Which reason resonates most with you?
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No growth happens in your comfort zone! Here’s a way to stay outside your comfort zone so you can keep growing.
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Failure: Nobody likes it. Nobody wants to experience it. And when you’re afraid of it, it keeps you playing small. What if failure was actually a good thing? What if it could be a tool to help you grow? Let’s look at failure in a whole new light and use it to grow!
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Lessons from the Brazilain Jiu-Jitsu mat! A major part of emotional intelligence is self-awareness...how are you working on your self-awareness? Do you even know how self-aware you are?
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When you identify where your stories & beliefs come from, you can choose to makenew beliefs. Noble & Kathy teach you how to recognize them, and how to change them! DOWNLOAD THE NOTES & JOURNAL PAGE FOR THIS EPISODE: https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/11 SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW: https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY: https://www.facebook.com/groups/3396079827100433/ EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/ EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
Today is a behind-the-scenes peek at our EQ journey in real time!
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Once you know the language of emotional intelligence and feelings & emotions, you’ll be much better equipped to change your business & life for the better.
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Today is a behind-the-scenes peek at our EQ journey in real time!
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Noble & Kathy break down their definition of emotional health
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Today is a behind-the-scenes peek at our EQ journey in real time! In what area of your life can you test the current limits of your capacity?
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The reality is this: growing your EQ is hard, and a lot of entrepreneurs just want to ignore it. Today, we discuss the top 10 reasons people avoid working on their emotional intelligence.
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Today is a behind-the-scenes peek at our journey in real time!
When we lack the ability to create & uphold self-boundaries, it leads toward chaos.
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Whether you’re aware of it or not, your emotional intelligence is already affecting your business! Here’s 6 things you may not have realized were holding you back
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EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY: https://www.facebook.com/groups/3396079827100433/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw
Today is a behind the scenes peek at our journey in real-time! Like most areas of growth, the EQ journey isn’t a straight line. You’ll feel like you’re moving forward, then something will happen & you’ll feel like you’re back where you started. The good news is: that’s part of the journey, and you’re right on track.
SUBMIT A QUESTION/TOPIC FOR THE SHOW: https://www.eqforentrepreneurs.com/askaway
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS FB COMMUNITY: https://www.facebook.com/groups/3396079827100433/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/eqforentrepreneurs/
EQ FOR ENTREPRENEURS YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWJkBGvkfH_BxHahuM8hTcw