The Art of Charm: Recent Episodes
The Art of Charm
The Art of Charm is where self-motivated people, just like you, come to learn from the company’s coaches about to how to master human dynamics, relationships, and becoming your best self with the help of Johnny and AJ, the company’s founders. Johnny and AJ bring their 11 years of coaching experience from their famous Bootcamps, where they host clients in Los Angeles from all over the world and they share their stories, best practices and themselves on this weekly podcast. Not only does The Art of Charm help everyday people, including active members of the military, learn how to become higher performers, better spouses, partners, and coworkers, they dig deep into human behavior, the science behind it, and demystify what we do and why we do it.
In today’s episode, we cover the 3 pillars of powerful communication with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael Herold. Humans are social creatures and history has taught us that powerful communication can help anyone achieve any goal we have in life, but what are the 3 pillars of powerful communication, how can you strengthen each one, and what are you risking by never becoming a powerful communicator? What to Listen For
First pillar of powerful communication – 0:00
What is the difference between hearing what someone is telling you vs actively listening to someone?
What are the 3 layers of listening you need to understand so the people around you feel like they are important to you?
What is the crucial skill you are missing to get ahead professionally, personally, and romantically?
Second pillar of powerful communication – 22:17
What is the biggest pitfall you make in conversation that can kill a connection and make people not want to talk to you?
How do you give people value in a conversation so they want to know more about you and spend more time with you?
Third pillar of powerful communication – 35:53
What is the one thing you should pay attention to if you don’t want your friendships, relationships, or even your marriage to fail?
What is an emotional bid and how do you recognize each of the 9 types in conversation so you can build long lasting connections with anyone you meet?
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The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.
Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.
Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.
Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.
Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.
In today’s episode, we cover relationship building and repairing with Michael Bungay Stanier. Michael is the founder of Box of Crayons, a learning and development company, and the author of several books including his bestseller The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever and his newest title How to Work with (Almost) Anyone: Five Questions for Building the Best Possible Relationships.
Relationships are not easy to maintain and the best relationships take work, so how do you build the best relationships, what can you do to repair broken relationships, and how do you know you should just walk away? What to Listen For
Introduction – 0:00
What are the negative impacts of not having psychological safety in the workplace?
Why is it important to seek relationships that go beyond safety?
What questions can you ask so you can work with almost anyone?
Increase productivity with language – 15:20
What is the best way to make a to-do list so you’ll actually complete it?
What question can you ask to understand why people don’t like working with you?
Repair the relationship – 31:20
What questions can you ask to stop a relationship from failing?
What questions can you ask to repair a broken relationship?
Can you reset a relationship?
Choose your battles – 41:37
How do you know when you should walk away from a relationship or friendship?
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.
Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.
Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.
Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.
Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.
In today’s episode, we cover influence with Jonah Berger, Zoe Chance, and Vanessa Bohns. Jonah Berger is a professor at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania, a best selling author, and world expert in social influence and consumer behavior. Zoe Chance is a professor at Yale School of Management and a researcher, speaker and consultant who specializes in persuasion, influence and behavioral economics. Vanessa Bonds is a social psychologist and professor at Cornell University, and her research focuses on how people make judgments and decisions in social contexts.
Humans are social creatures so we are always influencing others and being influenced by others, but how does influence work, how do you protect yourself from being influenced by others, and what can you do to become more influential? What to Listen For
Introduction – 0:00
How do others influence you without you being aware of it?
What is the most common mistake we make when trying to influence the people around us and what should you do to avoid making the same mistake?
The 3 layers of listening required for influence – 9:02
Why do you need to listen to others in order to influence them?
What 3 things do you need to listen for so the other person knows you understand them and thus is more susceptible to your influence?
One simple change to boost your influence – 15:07
What one word will amplify your ability to influence the person you’re talking to?
What common mistake do people make when speaking that makes others less likely to respect what they have to say?
Power of the pause – 31:20
Why is silence in conversation so impactful and how can you use it to your advantage?
The number one reason you don’t try – 33:42
How do you reframe rejection so you can embrace it and grow from it rather than avoid it and stop yourself from achieving your goals?
What’s the best way to reject someone so you don’t hurt the person’s feelings?
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.
Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.
Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.
Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.
Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.
In today’s episode, we cover how to master change with Brad Stulberg. Brad regularly contributes to the New York Times and his work has been featured in the Wall Street Journal and the Atlantic, and he is the bestselling author of Peak Performance, The Passion Paradox, The Practice of Groundedness, and his newest: Master of Change: How to Excel When Everything Is Changing – Including You.
Change can rock your world when you’re not prepared for it, so what can you do to become more resilient to change, how do you develop rugged flexibility, and what role does change play in our relationships? What to Listen For
Introduction – 0:00
How many major changes will you encounter in life and how do you prepare for them?
How can you embrace change and use it to grow?
What steps can we take to find balance in our own lives during times of change?
Rugged Flexibility – 13:25
What is rugged flexibility, why do you need it, and how do you build it in your life?
How to be resilient to change – 23:45
What are the two requirements to be resilient to change?
How do you whittle down a list of values to your 3-5 core values and what impact can living in alignment with your core values have on your overall well-being?
Control vs Expectations – 38:03
How do you balance the control you have over a situation with the expectations you have?
How do you handle relationships with people who change in different ways from you?
How do you set expectations with friendships to make your friends feel like they can always come to you?
The 4-P framework to handle change – 57:58
What is the 4-P framework and how can you use it to handle any change you encounter in life?
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.
Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.
Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.
Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.
Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.
In today’s episode, we cover the expectation effect with David Robson. David is an award winning writer who specializes in psychology and neuroscience, and is the author of The Intelligence Trap: Why Smart People Make Dumb Mistakes, and his most recent book, The Expectation Effect: How Your Mind Can Change Your World.
Your expectations can mean the difference between failure and success, but why do your expectations have such a drastic impact, how can you reframe your expectations to achieve success whenever possible, and how do you use visualization techniques to boost your performance in any area overnight?
What to Listen For
Introduction – 0:00
What is the expectation effect and why do your expectations impact everything you do?
Reframe expectations to reach your goals – 10:47
How can you reframe your expectations to enjoy working out and achieve the body you’ve always wanted?
Why is it important for you to feel stress and how do you know what too much stress is?
What can you do to reframe expectations to be comfortable with public speaking?
Visualization and Performance – 26:22
What visualization technique can you use to increase your strength by 10% and recover from injury faster?
How do you use visualization to decrease your stress and anxiety?
How do the expectations of people around you affect your performance and what can you do to decrease their impact?
Do not do this if you want to be happy – 40:10
What do you need to avoid doing if you want to maximize your happiness and minimize your daily suffering?
How can you use science to increase your willpower?
How can you harness the science of expectations to build the top performing routine that will reach any goal you set for yourself?
How do you reframe frustration to help you grow?
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.
Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.
Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.
Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.
Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.
In today’s episode, we cover culture with Dr Marcus Collins. Marcus is an award-winning marketer and cultural translator, the head of strategy at Wieden+Kennedy New York, a clinical assistant professor of marketing at the Ross School of Business, University of Michigan, and the author of For the Culture: The Power Behind What We Buy, What We Do, and Who We Want to Be. Introduction Culture is as much a part of everyday life as the air we breathe, but how do we define what a culture is, what is the secret that marketers use to tap into culture and motivate you to take action, and how do you build your own culture (or find a new one)? What to Listen For
Introduction – 0:00
What does the word culture mean and why is culture so important to us?
What are the three systems that make up culture?
Fast Culture vs Slow Culture – 15:15
Why do certain aspects of culture move faster than others and how do they influence each other?
Why is it taboo to talk openly about politics, religion, and money?
Role Theory – 30:11
What is role theory and how is it embedded in every culture?
What is the difference between cultural appropriation and cultural appreciation?
How do you turn a trend into a cultural phenomenon – 45:28
What is a cultural contagion and what two factors determine whether something becomes an official part of a culture?
If you’re not part of a culture, how do you understand a culture to appreciate it and understand where members of that culture are coming from?
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.
Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.
Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.
Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.
Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.
In today’s episode, we cover how to grow your charisma with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael Herold.
Charismatic people can light up a room and make everyone want to be around them, but what even is charisma, how does your charisma impact your career and relationships for better or worse, and what can you do to unlock your inner charisma to be more memorable and interesting?
What to Listen For
Introduction – 0:00
What 3 skill sets do you need to work on to develop your charisma?
How to Grow Your Charisma – 10:50
How do you practice being more present so people feel like you are not ignoring or dismissing them?
What can you do to develop your empathy so people don’t feel judged by you and pushed away?
How do you be more enthusiastic so people don’t think you’re boring?
Emotional Climate – 25:00
What emotional climate are you creating around people and how do you make a fun, positive, inviting emotional climate that makes people want to spend more time with you?
Why is pessimism detrimental to your charisma and how can you become optimistic?
Confidence – 36:02
How do you exude confidence that draws people in everytime you walk into the room?
Why is vulnerability key to showing confidence?
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.
Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.
Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.
Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.
Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.
In today’s episode, we cover deception and fraud with Chris Chabris. Chris is a research psychologist, Senior Investigator at Geisinger Health System, visiting fellow at the Institute for Advanced Study, and associate professor of Psychology and co-director of the Neuroscience Program at Union College in New York.
Scammers and con men are everywhere these days, but how can you recognize when you’re being scammed, what behaviors or habits of your own should be aware of that tip you off as a potential victim, and what tactics do scammers, businesses, and governments use on us to get what they want?
What to Listen For
Introduction – 0:00
Why are people fascinated by conmen and scammers?
How did AJ get scammed in Thailand and what can you learn to avoid being scammed anywhere?
How scammers choose their targets – 13:44
What 4 key cognitive habits do scammers exploit in their targets and how can you stop them from exploiting those habits in you?
How we help scammers to scam us – 33:50
What do we unconsciously do to help people deceive us?
How do people get away with large scale fraud and deception?
What are the 4 hooks that businesses and governments use to deceive us?
The weapons of scammers – 52:30
How do scammers and con men use words and memories against us?
How does your memory deceive you every time you try to remember something?
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.
Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.
Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today.
Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products.
Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.
In today’s episode, we cover body language with former FBI agents Jack Schafer and Joe Navarro, trust and body language expert Abbie Maroño, and CEO of The Behavior Company Anne Maartje Oud, some of the leading experts in body language.
We all possess the ability to read body language before we can form words, but in today’s world we seem to disregard this incredible ability early on, so what happened, why is it more important than ever, and what can you do to quickly relearn this invaluable skill? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00
Why we (now) suck at reading body language – 3:01
How did we get so bad at reading body language in the west when we’re born with this ability?
What is the only thing you can do to change a first impression?
How do you build trust rapidly and effectively?
What makes sincere human connection – 11:22
What are the 3 components you need to build a sincere human connection?
FBI advice for introverts – 23:01
When approaching a group of people, how do you know who is easiest to talk to?
How do you know if you’re making someone uncomfortable and what can you do to make the other person comfortable?
Body language myths – 31:25
What are the biggest misconceptions people have about body language?
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.
In today’s episode, we cover breaking the ice with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael. Taking the first step is often the hardest, so when it comes to breaking the ice what is the most effective way to strike up a conversation, what mindset can you cultivate that will make conversations flow effortlessly, and what can you do to become unforgettable in the eyes of people you meet?
What to Listen For
Introduction – 0:00
How do you start conversations with strangers without coming off as awkward?
The Conversation Formula – 7:50
What are some examples of simple questions to ask in social, romantic, or professional environments to start a conversation?
Why is it important to focus on "we" moments in conversations rather than just talking about yourself?
What questions should you avoid in conversation?
What Should You Say Next – 21:24
Why should you avoid asking questions over and over again, and what should you say after someone answers your question?
If curiosity is the key to great conversations, how do you cultivate your own curiosity so conversations don’t feel awkward and forced?
What topics should you avoid when talking to someone new?
Become Unforgettable – 27:57
How do you create a positive, memorable impression so people never forget you and look forward to spending time with you?
What exercise can you use in a conversation to create a stronger bond with anyone?
With all of these tips in mind, it's important to remember that building meaningful relationships still takes time and effort. It's not a one-time event; rather, it's an ongoing process that grows with each new connection. Working on developing meaningful relationships may bring success in the professional or personal goals desired. Nevertheless, it also requires a commitment to get out of your comfort zone, acknowledge different points of view, listen more than you talk, and ask thoughtful questions about the person and what they stand for. Ultimately, when we put care into connecting to others on a more focused level and look beyond our surface interests or intentions, we can create stronger connections that have a lasting impact on our lives. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.
In today’s episode, we cover journaling with Ceri Samvilian. Ceri is an expert on journaling, a certified life coach, author of Journal and discover your authentic self, and speaker with 20 years of experience in human resources. The most important relationship you can have in life is with yourself, but how do you use journaling to nurture and strengthen that relationship, what simple journal prompt can you use to defeat overthinking, and when is it more important to journal so you are better capable of handling the inevitable tough times in life?
What to Listen For
Introduction – 0:00
If you’re feeling stuck in life, what can you do today to get unstuck and start building unstoppable momentum?
How can you use journaling to figure out who your authentic self is?
The Principles of Effective Journaling – 19:45
How do you start journaling?
What questions can you ask yourself to make journaling productive?
How can journaling help individuals become more self-aware?
Who should journal? – 30:50
Why do men need to journal?
When is it more important to journal?
What questions can you ask yourself to improve your journaling practice and make it more enjoyable?
The one thing all humans need in order to be happy? – 47:20
How does journaling help you find the one thing you need in order to be happy?
How do the “masks” we wear prevent us from achieving our dreams?
How do you identify the masks you wear around different people so you can understand where your road blocks are between you and your potential?
Journaling is a powerful practice that helps bring clarity and understanding to even the most confusing of inner voices. It just takes a few simple steps to start living an empowered life, starting with choosing a pen, grabbing a notebook or opening an app, and selecting a prompt that works for you. Although self-development is often a bumpy road, Ceri's journal can help you navigate it more easily and string those bumps together into mountains of success and joy for your future. Don’t let the intimidating thought of taking that first step prevent you from reaping its rewards. You deserve to be authentic, so set aside some time today for self-reflection and overthinking prevention—start journaling now! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month.
In today’s episode, we cover leadership, relationship building, and feedback with Brett Crozier. Brett graduated from the United States Naval Academy, served as the Commanding Officer of a combat F/A-18 strike fighter squadron, the world’s largest and most advanced communications ship USS Blue Ridge, and the aircraft carrier USS Theodore Roosevelt before retiring from the Navy in 2022. Brett is the author of Surf When You Can: Lessons in Life, Loyalty, and Leadership from a Maverick Navy Captain. On this episode of The Art of Charm, we interview Brett Crozier, retired Captain of the US Navy and former Commanding Officer of the USS Roosevelt. We dive into the importance of teamwork and leadership in implementing successful missions and running a floating city. Brett shares his experiences launching fighter jets and navigating the challenges of COVID-19 on the Roosevelt. He also provides valuable insights on building relationships and feedback mechanisms as a leader.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 0:00
Why has surfing always been important to Brett?
What goals did Brett have when he first entered the Naval Academy?
How did Brett’s fighter pilot experience influence his leadership abilities?
Building Trust Cross Culturally – 10:08
How do you build trust with someone from a different culture?
Why are sports important to building relationships in structures of hierarchy?
Relying on Instincts When Training isn’t Enough – 23:47
What do you do when you encounter a situation that wasn’t covered in class or training?
How do you make sure you get quality feedback from the people who matter?
What two traits do you need to develop to be an effective leader?
Navy Captain Sends Email, Gets Fired – 37:55
Why did Brett Crozier lose his position as Captain of an aircraft carrier when COVID started?
Leadership is more than simply a position of authority; it's an opportunity to build relationships, bridge divides, and promote safe and healthy practices. From this discussion we can take away valuable lessons for not only overcoming challenges but also directing a team towards sustainable success. We can treat each situation as an opportunity to learn, grow, and build meaningful connections while developing skills that will aid us when leading others anywhere be it at home or work.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In today’s episode, we cover quitting with Annie Duke. Annie is a national best-selling author, former professional poker player, corporate speaker, and consultant in the decision-making space, as well as Special Partner focused on Decision Science at First Round Capital Partners, a seed stage venture fund. Annie’s latest book is Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away.
Quitting has acquired a bad reputation in a culture of grit and hustle, but even the most successful people quit things they’re working on frequently, so what is stopping you from quitting a failing project or relationship, and what questions can you ask yourself and others to determine when the right time to quit is?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- Why is knowing to quit just as important as grit and determination?
- How do you know when to quit? – 14:58
- Why do many of us quit things too late and waste valuable time that we could be spending on the next success?
- What are some great examples of people making the right decision to quit?
- Opportunity Cost Neglect – 33:26
- What is the blindspot that keeps us from quitting at the right time?
- What happened to the game Glitch before Slack was created?
- How do you break the Sunk Cost Neglect cycle so you stop wasting your time?
- Other Biases and Blindspots – 44:30
- What is Escalation of Commitment?
- What is the Status Quo Bias?
- What is the Omission Comission Bias?
- The Questions to Determine When You Need to Quit – 1:01:20
Knowing when to quit is a vital key for success. It’s just as important as grit and determination because you need to be able to balance them in order to take the most successful route. Too often we find ourselves stuck in a vicious cycle called Sunk Cost Neglect, unable or unwilling to recognize that we’ve invested more time than we will ever get back. The ability to assess your situation and make accurate decisions is something great leaders have mastered, but with the right tools, anyone can start taking control of their future today. So don’t be afraid to do a bit of soul-searching here and there – quitting at the right time could very well be what sets you up for greater success in your future endeavors.
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Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Annie Duke | The Secret Ingredient to Making the RIGHT Decision When It Really Matters
- Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away by Annie Duke
- Annie Duke’s website
- Alliance for Decision Education
- After School All Stars
- Renew Democracy Initiative
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
- The Art of Charm on TikTok
In today’s episode, we cover happiness with Dr. Robert Waldinger. Bob is the director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, a 75-year-long Harvard study of adult life, and the co-author of The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness.
Our social fitness was shaken over the last few years thanks to the lockdown, so what can we use from the longest study on happiness to improve our social fitness and rebuild lost relationships?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- How did the “Harvard Happiness Study” come about?
- What is the Harvard Study of Adult Development and how did it start?
- Social Fitness – 13:01
- What is social fitness and how did the pandemic affect your social fitness?
- The Biggest Motivation for Self Development – 24:18
- What gives you the greatest motivation to improve your life?
- What is the secret to happiness and how do you implement it at any age?
- How do you make new friends? – 37:11
- What should you say when you want to reconnect with someone?
- How to stop feeling lonely?
- How do you start a conversation with a coworker?
- What are unhappy marriages missing? – 46:00
- How do happy couples stay happy forever and how can you implement in your relationship?
The Harvard Study of Adult Development turned out to be the longest running study about what makes people happy. Considering the increase in mental health issues and loneliness that we experienced over the last few years, the wisdom learned from the study has the potential to help us recover our pre-pandemic social fitness and get back enjoying life again.
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Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Harvard Study of Adult Development website
- The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study on Happiness
- Dr. Robert Waldinger’s website
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
- The Art of Charm on TikTok
In today’s episode, we cover money and love with Abby Davisson. Abby is a social innovation leader and career development expert, was the president of the Gap Foundation at Gap Inc and a senior leader on the Environmental, Social & Governance team, and is the co-author of Money and Love: An Intelligent Roadmap for Life's Biggest Decisions.
Making big decisions in relationships can be intimidating, so what frameworks and strategies can you use to simplify the decision making process and how should you handle conversations around money and having kids with your partner?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What proven framework should you use to approach major decisions about money and love in relationships?
- Thinking about Consequences of Making Big Decisions – 19:06
- How should you think about the consequences of decision making?
- How do you know if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone?
- Relationship Compatibility – 29:26
- How can you find out if you are compatible with your partner in the long term?
- How do you approach the conversation of having kids with someone you just married?
- Divorce and Money – 48:30
- How should you approach the conversation around money when you’re thinking about getting married?
Making major decisions about relationships can be daunting, but if you break it down with a framework and consider all of the potential consequences with regular communication, it becomes much easier. Money is a major factor to consider when getting married because it can cause a lot of arguments and stress in a relationship, to the point that it is one of the most common reasons people state when getting divorced. If you approach these conversations openly and honestly with your partner, you will be able to make the best decision for both of you.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Abby Davisson’s website
- Money and Love: An Intelligent Roadmap for Life’s Biggest Decisions
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
- The Art of Charm on TikTok
In today’s episode, we cover the Art of Charm’s best episodes from 2022 with AJ and Johnny.
Turbocharge your social skills going into 2023 with highlights from the best of the Art of Charm podcast in 2022!
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- Avoid these Low Value Behaviors – 2:41
- What 3 behaviors do you need to avoid if you want to attract high value friendships and relationships?
- Eye Contact for Different Situations – 16:34
- How do you decide what kind of eye contact you should give in personal, professional, and romantic situations?
- Overcome Perfectionism – 19:22
- What steps can you take to overcome perfectionism?
- What are the warning signs that perfectionism is controlling your life?
- Setting and Enforcing Boundaries – 28:22
- How do you enforce boundaries you set with other people who keep violating your boundaries?
- Overcome Nice Guy Syndrome – 38:02
- What are covert contracts and why do “nice guys” make them with people they meet?
- What is the biggest flaw of nice guys and how do you stop being a “nice guy” if you are one?
- The Infamous Awkward Pause – 45:17
- How do you make awkward pauses into powerful pauses that command attention?
- What mistakes do most people make that kill their charisma?
2022 was a great year here at the Art of Charm. We hope you had a great year as well and wish you nothing but the best in 2023! See you next year!
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
Avoid These 3 Low Value Behaviors (Toolbox)
How To Read Body Language | Abbie Maroño
Perfectionism: The Enemy Of Progress | Jennifer Kemp
Build and Maintain Boundaries | Nedra Tawwab
Overcoming Nice Guy Syndrome | Dr. Robert Glover
How to Influence and Persuade People | Zoe Chance
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
The Art of Charm on TikTok
In today’s episode, we cover social media with Dr. Nicholas Kardaras. Dr. Kardaras is an Ivy League educated psychologist, best-selling author, internationally renowned speaker and an expert on mental health, addiction, and the impacts of our digital age.
Social media has gripped us by the neck with socially inept nerds calling the shots, so what exactly is going on, how is social media amplifying mental health issues, and what steps can we take to break social media addiction?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What is a social media algorithm and why can they be dangerous to society?
- What is the Online Safety Act and how does it serve to protect us from algorithms on social media?
- The social world is engineered by the socially inept – 16:42
- Why is there so much friction between what is going on in the real world and the virtual world?
- How does social media amplify mental health issues and pressure young people to imitate the mentally unwell?
- Who should we trust – 28:46
- How do we know who to trust online and why is it risky to allow anyone to determine what is true and false?
- Are younger generations more fragile than older generations?
- Social media and depression – 41:46
- How does social media use lead to depression?
- Does an easier or harder life lead to a more fulfilling and happy life?
- What practical steps can you take to deal with social media addiction?
Social media algorithms are created with the intention of getting users to spend more time on a platform, but they can have harmful consequences. By curating content and limiting the exposure to certain views, social media platforms can create an echo chamber that amplifies mental health issues and leads young people to believe that imitating the mentally unwell is normal behavior. Social media use can lead to depression, anxiety, and other mental health problems.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Dr. Nicholas Kardaras’s website
- Digital Madness: How Social Media Is Driving Our Mental Health Crisis--and How to Restore Our Sanity by Dr. Nicholas Kardaras
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
- The Art of Charm on TikTok
In today’s episode, we cover parenting and the CIA with Christina Hillsberg. Christina is a former CIA intelligence officer, writer, and recognized expert on women in espionage, intelligence tradecraft, and parenting, and the author of License to Parent:
Being a parent is hard enough already and now we have so much technology to worry about, so how do you teach your kids to build trust and to know who to trust, how do you properly regulate their access to video games and the internet, and how do you teach kids to recognize and avoid danger?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What should you study or work toward if you want to eventually work for the CIA or other intelligence agencies?
- Teach kids to build relationships – 14:22
- How do you teach your kids to deal with bullies in school?
- How do you build trust with your kids or stepkids?
- Dealing with kids and videogames – 30:30
- How do you regulate the access to video games and the internet that your kids have to keep them safe?
- How do you teach your kids what information to trust online as well as who to trust online?
- Avoiding danger – 42:50
- How do you teach your kids to avoid danger?
- What can you do to alleviate the worry and anxiety you feel as a parent?
Raising kids in the digital age is a daunting task. It seems like every day we are faced with new challenges and questions about how to keep our children safe and help them grow into well-adjusted adults. But it’s important to remember that we aren’t alone in this struggle. There are plenty of resources available to us, both offline and online, and it’s important to make use of them all.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Christina Hillsberg’s website
- Christina Hillsberg on Instagram
- Christina Hillsberg on Twitter
- License to Parent: How My Career as a Spy Helped Me Raise Resourceful, Self-Sufficient Kids by Christina Hillsberg
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
- The Art of Charm on TikTok
In today’s episode, we cover leadership with John Bacon. John is an American journalist, a sports commentator on TV and radio, and author of books on sports and business including his latest best seller Let Them Lead: Unexpected Lessons in Leadership from America's Worst High School Hockey Team.
Coaching a poor performing team to victory is no easy task, so what can you learn from a high school hockey coach who did just that, how high should you set expectations, and what can you do to set them up to lead themselves to success?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- Why did John Bacon decide to coach the worst high school hockey team in America and how did he take them from losers to champions?
- The Value of High Expectations – 15:15
- Why is it important to set high expectations for your team?
- What does it mean to separate the behavior from the results and why is it important for you to understand if you want to be a great leader?
- Rules and Leadership – 30:18
- What is the best approach to set rules and regulations as a leader and how can rules hurt your team’s performance?
- What’s the best way to deal with parents as a high school athletics coach?
- Questions, Questions, Questions – 42:10
- How should you handle questions and concerns from your team to get the best out of them?
- How to allow your team to lead themselves to achieve their goals?
Leaders should set high expectations for their team and give them the freedom to lead themselves. When team members know what is expected of them, they will be able to work more productively towards common goals. Giving your team the ability to find their own solutions and make decisions will help foster a sense of ownership and responsibility. This in turn can motivate team members to go above and beyond what is expected of them.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- John Bacon’s website
- Let Them Lead: Unexpected Lessons in Leadership from America's Worst High School Hockey Team
- John Bacon on twitter
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
- The Art of Charm on TikTok
In today’s episode, we cover self-esteem with Dr. Steven Hayes. Steven Hayes is an American clinical psychologist and Nevada Foundation Professor at the University of Nevada, Reno Department of Psychology, where he is a faculty member in their Ph.D. program in behavior analysis, and the author nearly 670 scientific articles and 47 books including the best selling Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life.
The last couple of generations grew up in a world that focused on high self-esteem, but what exactly is self-esteem, why was it catastrophically wrong to focus on it, and what should you strive for when raising kids?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What is self-esteem?
- Why is it dangerous to artificially inflate self-esteem?
- What is that critical voice you hear and how does it affect your self-esteem?
- What is confidence – 18:30
- Why are many people who appear confident not?
- How does social media make it difficult for you to be self compassionate and stay true to yourself?
- Stop focusing on self-esteem – 30:20
- Why is it catastrophic to focus on teaching kids to have a high self esteem?
- What can you do to develop your self-compassion to boost your confidence?
- Friends, values, and life fulfillment – 49:42
- Why are values important and how do your friends influence your values for better or worse?
- Is too much self-compassion a bad thing?
We’ve seen that it can be dangerous to artificially inflate self-esteem and that it is much more important to focus on teaching kids how to have a healthy self-compassion. When we develop our self-compassion, we become better equipped to stay true to ourselves, even when faced with difficult situations or negative feedback from others. With values clarification and by choosing friends who share our positive values, we can work together to encourage each other in living out our best selves.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life by Steven Hayes, Ph. D.
- Is Self Compassion More Important Than Self Esteem by Steven Hayes, Ph. D.
- Alex Banayan Episode
- Self-compassion protects against the negative effects of low self-esteem: A longitudinal study in a large adolescent sample by Sarah Marshall
- Steven Hayes TED Talk
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
- The Art of Charm on TikTok
In today’s episode, we cover becoming unstoppable with Michael Herold.
We all have the potential to achieve unstoppable confidence, but what are the 3 obstacles that stand in your way, what can you do to overcome them, and how do you identify your core values so you can find every day fulfilling?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What are the 3 obstacles you need to overcome to have unlimited confidence?
- What can you do to separate yourself from your thoughts so they don’t get in the way of achieving your goals and dreams?
- What question can you ask yourself to instantly quiet your thoughts?
- Overcome negative emotions to achieve unstoppable confidence – 18:27
- How do you overcome discomfort so you can get the most out of life?
- Why do we need to redefine happiness and what should the new definition be so we can pursue a more fulfilling existence?
- Find your core values –29:00
- What are core values and why are they important for you to find for yourself if you want to live a rich and meaningful life?
- Why are goals overrated compared to living a life inline with your core values?
- What four ways can you use to identify your core values?
There is a lot you can do to separate yourself from your thoughts and achieve your goals. You need to find what works for you, but some helpful tips are: be mindful of your thoughts, practice meditation or mindfulness, and write out your thoughts and goals regularly. Discomfort is a part of life, but it doesn’t have to stop you from achieving great things. In fact, it’s often through discomfort that we learn and grow the most. Core values are important because they provide a guide for how you want to live your life. They help us make decisions when we’re faced with difficult choices and help us stay on track when things get tough. Identifying your core values is an important step in finding meaning in life.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- The Art of Charm Instant Connection Kit
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
- The Art of Charm on TikTok
In today’s episode, we cover the pursuit meaning and fulfillment with Yael Schonbrun. Yael is a clinical psychologist, assistant professor at Brown University, co-host of Psychologists Off the Clock, and the author of Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like Too Much).
The pursuit of meaning has taken a back seat in the last few decades and we’re paying the price, so what can you do to introduce more meaning into your life, how should you balance meaningful and pleasurable pursuits, and how can you you strengthen the relationships that already give you meaning?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- Is it more fulfilling to be great at one role in life or divide your time between multiple roles?
- How should you balance the pursuits of meaning, pleasure, and purpose?
- Prioritizing the different roles in your life – 16:16
- How do you determine which roles you should prioritize in your life when you have to take other people in your life into consideration?
- What should you do to preface regular one-on-one check-in conversations with your significant other and kids to strengthen the important relationships in your life?
- Strategies to Create Space for Strengthening Relationships – 29:40
- What strategies can you implement on a weekly basis to make sure the relationships you care about don’t fall apart?
- Adding for improvement vs subtraction for simplicity – 46:54
- Should we prioritize adding things to our lives or subtracting things from our lives if we want to be happier and more fulfilled?
It can be difficult to determine how to balance the different pursuits of meaning, pleasure, and purpose in our lives. We often have a lot of competing demands on our time and energy. But if we want to live happier and more fulfilling lives, it’s important that we take the time to figure out what’s most important to us and then put in the effort to make sure those things stay a priority. There is no one perfect answer for everyone – each individual will need to find what works best for them.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like Too Much)
- Dr. Yael Schonbrun | Dos and Don’ts of Modern Dating
- Dr. Yael Schonbrun on Twitter
- Katy Milkman | Eliminate Unhealthy Habits Today with 3 Scientifically Proven Strategies
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
- The Art of Charm on TikTok
In today’s episode, we cover talking to strangers with AJ and Johnny.
You never know what friend, business partner, or love interest you’ll meet by striking up a conversation with strangers in your daily life, but how do you create engaging conversations with anyone, what two things do you need for great conversations, and how do you make an unforgettable first impression?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- How is technology harming our ability to hold conversations and how do we overcome it?
- Why is it important to your health and social life to make small talk with strangers?
- Simple Techniques for Talking to Strangers – 23:16
- What tips can you use to have fun conversations with strangers?
- How do you know what to talk about with strangers?
- How do you give a compliment to a stranger?
- The Art of Charm Conversation Formula – 37:05
- What is the formula for great conversations?
- How do you have a good conversation with anyone?
- What are the two things you need to have great conversations?
- Why is vulnerability important in conversations and how can you be vulnerable without being too vulnerable?
Small talk is important because it helps us to get to know other people, learn about new things, and build relationships. It can also help you feel more connected and socialize when you may be feeling lonely or isolated. To know what to talk about with strangers, think about the setting you’re in and try to find a common ground or interest that you share. The formula for great conversations is simple: ask open-ended questions, listen attentively, and then share something personal about yourself. Having a good conversation with anyone is all about being vulnerable and letting your guard down a little bit. Don’t be afraid to share some of your own experiences or feelings, as long as you do so in a way that isn’t overwhelming or off-putting.
A Word From Our Sponsors
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Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Conversation Magic
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- The Secret to More Engaging Small Talk
- Toolbox | 3 Steps to Break Out of Small Talk and Instantly Build Rapport
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover masculinity with Richard Reeves. Richard is a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution, where he directs the Future of the Middle Class Initiative and co-directs the Center on Children and Families, and is the author of several books including his latest, Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It.
Western culture is experiencing a masculinity crisis, so what does mature masculinity look like in today’s society, what defines toxic masculinity vs mature masculinity, and how do we start instilling masculinity in our boys?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What are the trends in education and how are they impacting the genders?
- Why is there a lack of male teachers?
- The Crisis of Fatherhood – 24:07
- What role should fathers play moving forward?
- What does mature masculinity look like in modern society and how do we instill it in our children?
- Toxic Masculinity – 38:15
- What is the difference between mature masculinity and toxic masculinity?
- What role do rites of passage play in the transition from boyhood to manhood and what consequences do we face as a culture without them?
- Where do we start if we want to revitalize the masculinity in our society?
- The Gender Pay Gap is a Parenting Gap – 59:07
- What is the reason for the gender pay gap?
Masculinity is not a dirty word. It’s time to reclaim it and redefine it for the modern world. We can start by teaching our children what mature masculinity looks like, modeling healthy behavior ourselves, and creating spaces where men can gather to discuss these issues. Together we can shift the paradigm of toxic masculinity and work towards a more inclusive society that celebrates all forms of masculinity.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Richard Reeves website
- Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It by Richard Reeves
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover social engineering and corporate espionage with Robert Kerbeck. Robert is the founder of the Malibu Writers Circle, his essays and short stories have been featured in numerous magazines and literary journals, and his new memoir, RU$E: Lying the American Dream from Hollywood to Wall Street, is a thrilling look into his career as a secret corporate spy.
Espionage has been around for as long as people have kept secrets, but what do corporate spies do to get information from unsuspecting employees, what should you be on the lookout for to protect yourself and your company, and how do you become a corporate spy?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- How do you become a corporate spy?
- How do corporate spies prepare for deceptive calls with competitors?
- Corporate Espionage Tools of the Trade – 13:36
- What is a false time constraint and how do scammers and spies use them to manipulate you?
- How do scammers and corporate spies manipulate you to get whatever information they want?
- How do corporate spies receive new assignments?
- The different ways Corporate Espionage is used – 31:24
- How do corporations use corporate spies to find new employees and executive leaders?
- How do corporate spies leverage fear to get what they want out of you?
In order to protect yourself from becoming a victim of corporate espionage, it is important to be aware of the tools and tactics that scammers and spies use. By understanding how they operate, you can be better prepared to defend yourself against their attempts to manipulate you into giving away sensitive information. Remember, always be skeptical of unsolicited calls or emails and never give out personal information or passwords without verifying the caller’s identity first.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Robert Kerbeck’s website
- RUSE: Lying the American Dream from Hollywood to Wall Street by Robert Kerbeck
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover hunting discomfort with Sterling Hawkins. Sterling is the CEO and founder of the Sterling Hawkins Group, a research, training and development company focused on human and organizational growth, and is the author of Hunting Discomfort: How to Get Breakthrough Results in Life and Business No Matter What.
Discomfort is an inevitable aspect of getting anywhere in life, so what are the 5 kinds of discomfort we all face, what are the ways we all deal with discomfort that make it worse, and how can you leverage discomfort to turn your dreams into a reality?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- Why do you risk everything you’ve worked for when you avoid discomfort?
- What are the 3 default ways we try to deal with discomfort that only make the discomfort worse?
- How to Evolve through Discomfort – 11:20
- What can you do to adopt a mindset that embraces discomfort and leverages discomfort to evolve as a person?
- What are the 3 kinds of beliefs and how do they drive everything you do?
- Hunting Discomfort vs Danger – 20:11
- What is the difference between seeking out discomfort and doing dangerous things because they’re dangerous?
- What are the 5 types of discomforts we all face?
- The Necessity of Discomfort – 40:50
- What can you commit to in order to force yourself to get comfortable with discomfort?
Discomfort is a part of life. It’s what we do with discomfort that determines whether or not it will have a negative impact on our lives. When we avoid discomfort, we risk everything we’ve worked for. But when we embrace discomfort, we can grow as individuals and achieve things we never thought possible. So how do you start embracing discomfort? You can start by making a commitment to yourself get comfortable with discomfort. And then you can begin to experiment with different ways of introducing discomfort into your everyday life so that it becomes a regular part of your existence. Are you ready to take the challenge?
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Sterling Hawkins’s website
- Hunting Discomfort by Sterling Hawkins
- Hunting Discomfort Quiz
- Sterling Hawkins on Instagram
- Sterling Hawkins on Twitter
- Sterling Hawkins on LinkedIn
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover the different work genius skills with Patrick Lencioni. Patrick is founder and president of The Table Group, a firm dedicated to helping leaders improve their organizations’ health and the author of ten business books including his most recent work, The 6 Types of Working Genius: A Better Way to Understand Your Gifts, Your Frustrations, and Your Team.
Knowing what kind of work your personality is inclined toward can make the difference between loving your work and hating it, having an innovative team and a failing team, so what are the different types of work and how can you leverage them to achieve incredible success?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- Why do we get frustrated at work and what is triggering this?
- What are the skills necessary to fully function in any work environment?
- Different Kinds of Working Genius – 5:32
- What are the different types of working skills we already have and the skills we still need to develop?
- What are the benefits of learning and knowing how these skills can change our work environment?
- What Type of Worker Are You? – 18:28
- How do you behave within the team and how do you react to different situations?
- Are you tenacious, love to push things forward, and make sure they get done?
- Interpreting the Assessment Results – 32:54
- What can you do when you think your co-workers are outsmarting and outperforming you?
- What is the concept of quiet-quitting and why is it causing companies to lose their genius talents?
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- The 6 Types of Working Genius by Patrick Lencioni
- The Table Group
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover the science behind the hidden power of relationships with AJ and Johnny.
The people in your life can you lead you to success or failure, joy or frustration—so how do you know what influence people and their friends are having on your life, how can you be a high value person to attract high value friendships and relationships, and what steps can you take to upgrade your social circle?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What influence do the people around you have on your happiness and ability to achieve your goals?
- How do you handle relationships that have a negative influence on your life?
- High Value vs Low Value Behavior – 10:55
- What does it mean to be high value and why should you avoid low value behaviors if you don’t want to lose great friendships and relationships?
- What are the benefits of being high value as much as possible?
- Inescapable Influence of Friends and Family – 23:01
- How can your life be influenced by the friends of friends you don’t even know and what can you do to mitigate the harm they cause?
- Can you filter out the negative influences of certain friends so you can keep them around for the positive influences?
- Curate Your Social Circle – 47:30
- What steps can you take to upgrade your existing social circle so your friends, family members, and coworkers support you rather than bring you down?
- What is the difference between venting and gossiping and how should you respond to each one?
Other people are capable of having a significant impact on your life. If you let them, the right ones can set up conditions for success while leaving behind only pleasant memories and happy moments in their wake - but how do we determine which individuals will provide us with these opportunities? And more importantly: what can we do when our friends begin steering clear-cut paths towards failure or discontentment instead by trying to guide themselves into successful futures through less than honest means such as cheating at sports games etc.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- What Are Social Skills? A Value Vampire Has No Clue
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover conscious conversations with Chuck Wisner. Chuck is a business and personal consultant and an advisor to leaders in high-profile companies in several industries such as Google, Rivian, Apple, and Tesla, and is the author of The Art of Conscious Conversations: Transforming How We Talk, Listen, and Interact.
Conversations are an important aspect of running a business with employees, so what conversations should you be having with your employees and what types of questions should you ask?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- How many different kinds of conversations are there and why do you need to know them all?
- Advocacy vs Inquiry – 22:55
- Why is it important to balance advocacy for yourself and inquiring about others?
- The 4 Questions to Ask in Conversations – 34:16
- What kinds of questions should you ask yourself when you’re talking to someone if you want to spark more engaging conversations?
- Conversational Bypass – 48:30
- Why is it important to touch on all four types of conversations in business and planning meetings in order to get the most out of your team?
The next time you’re in a meeting, think about how you can use all four conversation types to get your point across. When you advocate for yourself and inquire about others, it will create a more balanced and engaging discussion. Asking the right questions of yourself before talking to someone can help set the tone for a more productive exchange. Touching on all four conversation types is important in business because it allows for different perspectives to be explored and helps everyone feel heard.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- The Art of Conscious Conversations by Chuck Wisner
- Chuck Wisner’s website
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover groundedness with Brad Stulberg. Brad coaches executives, entrepreneurs, physicians, and athletes on health, well-being, and sustainable excellence, and is the bestselling author of The Practice of Groundedness: A Transformative Path to Success that Feeds -- Not Crushes -- Your Soul.
Being present is harder than ever in a world with a million things fighting for our attention, so what can you do to stay grounded in a world of distractions, what mindset can you adopt to work hard without burning out, and build a community that keeps your carries your momentum forward?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What is groundedness and what does it mean to practice groundedness?
- The Principles of Groundedness – 10:22
- What practice can you implement to accept where you are in the moment so you can make better decisions about where to go next?
- What is the best thing you can do if you feel like you’re in a hole and time has slowed down to a crawl?
- The Key to Feeling Good and Being Happy – 20:31
- What piece of ancient wisdom is repeated throughout history when it comes to feeling good and being happy?
- What can you do to limit the distractions in your life so you can start your day productively and with a clear mind?
- Vulnerability and Confidence – 41:50
- How can you leverage vulnerability to build more confidence?
- What is deep community and how does it help you achieve groundedness?
When it comes to happiness, feeling good, and crushing life, there is one ancient wisdom that keeps popping up throughout history. That ancient wisdom is groundedness. Groundedness means living in the present moment, being connected to your body and your surroundings, and having a clear mind. It’s about being fully aware of what is happening around you and within you. Practicing groundedness can help you limit distractions so you can start your day productively, build more confidence by leveraging vulnerability, and feel happier and more content in life. What will you do today to start living more grounding?
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Brad Stulberg’s website
- The Practice of Groundedness: A Transformative Path to Success That Feeds--Not Crushes--Your Soul by Brad Stulberg
- Brad Stulberg on Twitter
- Brad Stulberg on Instagram
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover leadership and motivation with Dan Luna. Dan formed 3LX Consulting in 2019 to empower leaders through coaching products that combine academics, consulting, and coaching, after a twenty-year career in the United States Navy SEAL Teams.
Leadership is a skill that requires conscious effort to develop, but how do we define leadership, what daily practices can you utilize to improve your leadership, and what can you do to lead and motivate your team to achieve their potential?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What does leadership mean to a Navy SEAL?
- Leadership Skill Transference – 10:42
- How do you transfer your leadership skills from one area of your life to another?
- What can you do to develop self-awareness so you know where you are lacking when it comes to leadership?
- How to Start Journaling for Leadership Development – 30:51
- What can you do start journaling from a leadership perspective to develop your leadership skills?
- How do You Motivate Other Leaders – 43:10
- How do we define motivation so we are better able to motivate other leaders and team members?
- What areas can we highlight for team members to help them uncover the motivation to achieve their goals?
- What can you do to give great feedback people will listen to?
Leaders are not born but they are made. You can become a better leader by taking the time to journal your thoughts and experiences from a leadership perspective. This will help you develop an understanding for what motivates you and how you can motivate others. When it comes to giving feedback, make sure that you take the time to understand the person’s perspective before offering any criticism. Feedback is most effective when it is specific, actionable, and positive.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Team 3LX website
- Dan Luna on Instagram
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover the concept of belonging with Geoffrey Cohen. Cohen is the James G. March Professor of Organizational Studies in Education and Business, professor of psychology and, by courtesy, at the Graduate School of Business at Stanford University, and the author of Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides.
Humans are social creatures and our health is tied to our social bonds, so what happens when we lose the sense of belonging, what can you do to improve your ability to foster that connection with others, and how do you develop the empathy necessary to connect with people from all walks of life?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What does it mean to belong and what happens to us when we don’t feel a sense of belonging?
- Situation Crafting – 20:48
- What is situation crafting and how can you leverage it to accomplish your goals?
- What simple tricks can you use to accelerate your progress toward changing or improving your behavior?
- Turning Knowledge into Action – 35:30
- How do you take information you learn in one area and apply it to other areas of your life to save time and energy?
- What are the three ingredients necessary to effect change on an individual level?
- How to connect with people across different beliefs – 45:10
- What obstacles get in the way of connecting with people who have different beliefs than your own?
- How do you develop empathy for cultures or belief systems you have no experience with?
We all want to feel like we belong, that we are a part of something larger than ourselves. When we don’t have that sense of belonging, it can be damaging both mentally and emotionally. But what if there were ways to create a sense of belonging for yourself? What if you could use the power of situation crafting to your advantage? There are simple tricks you can use to get started on this journey and develop empathy for cultures or belief systems that are new to you. The bottom line is that developing a sense of belonging is crucial to our well-being as humans. With the right tools and information, you can find belonging in even the most difficult situations.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides by Geoffrey Cohen
- Geoffrey L Cohen’s website
- Geoffrey L Cohen’s Stanford Faculty page
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover navigating college and your career with Belle Liang and Timothy Klein. Belle is a professor of Counseling Psychology and Principal Investigator in the Purpose Lab and Tim is an award-winning urban educator, clinical therapist and school counselor, and together they wrote How to Navigate Life: The New Science of Finding Your Way in School, Career, and Beyond.
Society places a ton of pressure on kids to follow a certain path through life, but does that path set them up for success or failure, what mindset should we be instilling in kids before they choose a college, and why is the pursuit of happiness leading them away from a fulfilling life?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What mindset do we learn at an early age that sets us up for failure?
- What is the career and college navigation crisis?
- What’s wrong with how we perceive higher education – 12:20
- What do we get wrong about guiding students into the higher education system and what should we do to set teens up for success after high school?
- The Three Mindsets for Success – 18:50
- What are the three mindsets you need to chart the correct path through higher education?
- Why is it a bad idea to follow your passions?
- Why is it important to balance passion with performance and purpose?
- The Value of Being Purpose-Driven – 34:00
- What does it mean to live with purpose and how do you figure out what your purpose is in college?
Committing to only pursuing your passion places an unnecessary focus on only doing things that make you feel good and avoiding discomfort and hard work. That is the same as living a life in strict pursuit of happiness. If we chase happiness as a goal in life there will always be a gap between where we are now and the happiness we desire. That leads to a constant state of never being happy enough, thus defeating the purpose of trying to lead a happy life.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- How to Navigate Life: The New Science of Finding Your Way in School, Career, and Beyond by Belle Liang and Timothy Klein
- How To Navigate Life website
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover quieting your inner critic with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.
We all have an inner critic for a reason, so what is that reason, what is it doing to stop you from living your dream life, and what tools can you implement today to quiet your inner critic and start leading the life you deserve?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- Why do we have an inner critic and what purpose is it supposed to serve?
- Quieting your inner critic – 24:30
- What are the benefits of quieting your inner critic?
- The tools to quiet your inner critic – 34:30
- What can you do to quiet your inner critic?
- How do you use self-compassion to make your inner critic into a supportive voice for growth and development?
Do you find yourself losing the battle with your inner critic? That inner critic is there to save us from danger from how much danger are you genuinely in on a daily basis? The first mistake many people make is treating their inner critic as if that voice knows what is best for them. Rather than taking your inner critic seriously, start by asking yourself, “The way my inner critic is speaking to me now, would I talk like to my best friend?”
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- David Goggins & The Art of Mastering Your Mindset
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover peak performance with Steve Magness. Steve was two seconds away from breaking the 4 minute mile, he is a world-renowned expert on performance, coauthor of Peak Performance, and the author of the new book Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong.
Performing at your best will attract countless opportunities in all areas of your life, but expectations and poor goal setting will hold you back, so what can you do to set the correct goals and expectations for yourself and how do you build the resilience necessary to achieve your potential?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- How do expectations alter the way we live our lives without us being consciously aware of it?
- What does toughness mean today? – 19:36
- What is the difference between safety and security and how has the confusion between the two led to weaker humans?
- Transition from discomfort to action – 33:01
- How do you take the discomfort you feel in a situation and convert it into meaningful action and goal setting?
- Goal setting and training resilience – 40:07
- Why do many of us set goals that lead us to fail and how can we set goals that pull us to success instead?
- How do you train resilience?
Expectations play a huge role in our lives, and often we aren't even consciously aware of them. Our expectations can lead us to discomfort, but if we learn how to convert that discomfort into meaningful action and goal setting, we can achieve our potential. Setting goals is an important part of this process, but it's essential to be realistic about what we can achieve and not set ourselves up for failure. With the right mindset and some practice, we can all work towards building a more resilient self. What are you going to do today that will help you meet your long-term goals?
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Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Steve Magness’s website
- Steve Magness on Twitter
- Steve Magness on Instagram
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover leadership with Dr. Karyn Gordon. Dr. Karyn Gordon is the CEO and co-founder of DK Leadership, a TED Talk speaker, and the Wall Street Journal Bestselling author of The Three Chairs: How Great Leaders Drive Communication, Performance, and Engagement.
Leadership skills are great for anyone to have, but they are crucial if you want to get ahead professionally, so what are the signs you need to work on your leadership skills, what can you do to work on them, and what’s the best way to ask for feedback so you know you’re improving?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What are the five components of emotional intelligence?
- Signs your leadership skills are lacking – 18:11
- What are some signs you need to work on your leadership skills before you shoot for a leadership position?
- What exercise can you do with your team at work to identify weak spots in your leadership skills?
- The best way to ask for feedback – 24:45
- What can you do to ask your manager or supervisor for feedback that shows your willingness to excel within the company?
- What are the three chairs of leadership? – 41:03
- Who has the hardest time setting boundaries and what can you do to improve your ability to set better boundaries?
Leaders with a high emotional intelligence can inspire their followers to achieve great things. If you’re aspiring to be a leader, or are currently in a leadership position and feel like you could use some improvement, start by working on your emotional intelligence. There are many ways to do this, but one of the best is simply to ask for feedback. Let your manager or supervisor know that you want to excel within the company and that you’re willing to work hard to improve any areas where they see potential for growth. Then take that feedback and turn it into action. Finally, remember that setting boundaries is an important part of being a good leader. It can be difficult to say no sometimes, but it’s crucial if you want to maintain your own sanity (and health) while leading others.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Dr. Karyin Gordon’s website
- The Three Chairs: How Great Leaders Drive Communication, Performance, and Engagement by Dr Karyn Gordon
- Why Confidence Is The Secret To Great Leaders At Work & Home | TEDx
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
Scott Adams (@ScottAdamsSays) of Dilbert fame revisits us to discuss his new book Win Bigly: Persuasion in a World Where Facts Don't Matter. "Nobody ever won an argument with an analogy." -Scott Adams The Cheat Sheet: Is Scott Adams a Trump supporter? People don’t use facts to make decisions. They use emotion. Learn the three types of persuaders and how they operate. See how master persuaders move the topic to things they understand and can dominate (regardless of facts and details). Find out why master persuasion is effective even if the subject or target sees the technique. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/669/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Rhone makes gear for the modern man who demands modern style, comfort, and quality. Click here or go to rhone.com and enter promo code CHARM at checkout to get 20% off your first purchase! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Stocks $5 a trade. Options 50¢ per contract plus $5 per trade. Futures $1.50 per contract, per side. Ready to make your move? Come to TradeStation.com/Charm! CastBox introduces an in-audio search capability that offers a brand new way to search for podcasts you may love based on words or topics. Download CastBox for iOS or Android now to try it out for yourself! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!
In today’s episode, we cover the value of sorrow and longing with Susan Cain. Susan is the author of the Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, and her newest book Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole is focused on sorrow and longing as inspiration to experience sublime emotions opposed to the constant positivity expected by society.
Modern society reinforces the idea that we should strive to be positive in everything we do, but is positivity always better for you, why do we then seek forms of entertainment that evoke feelings like sadness, and how should we treat these emotions that society tells us we need to dismiss or get over?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- Is there a link between creativity and melancholy?
- What is the difference between melancholy and depression and why does one support creativity while the other suppresses it?
- Why are we drawn to entertainment that evokes sadness – 15:21
- What is it about sadness and beauty that we are drawn to?
- Why is it important to have a creative outlet for our emotions and what consequences do we risk by not pursuing a healthy outlet?
- What is the best way to process grief?
- What can leaders do to provide a healthy work environment – 29:48
- What can you do to support your employees to minimize the chances of burnout and poor productivity?
- How do you figure out what you want to do with your life – 39:00
- What should you do if you’re worried about hitting the milestones everyone expects of you (career, marriage, house, kids, etc)?
- How to figure out what you want to do with your life?
- The state of introversion vs extraversion – 49:12
- What has changed in society with respect to understanding and empowering introverts?
It’s important to take care of our mental health and process our emotions in a healthy way. It’s also crucial that we don’t shy away from the things that make us feel sad or down. There is something powerful and beautiful about sadness, and when we allow ourselves to explore it we can often find new ways of looking at the world and new sources of inspiration.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole by Susan Cain
- Susan Cain’s website
- The power of introverts | Susan Cain TED Talk
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover emotion efficacy with Dr. Aprilia West. Dr. West is a psychologist and executive and team leadership coach who works extensively with artists, creatives, and entertainment execs to increase their emotional intelligence, psychological flexibility, and resilience.
Emotions influence our thoughts and actions everyday, so what can you do to understand them, understand where they come from, and understand how to manage them so they don’t lead you to make harmful decisions?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What is emotion efficacy?
- What is the emotional default world and how does it shape your behavior?
- The importance of emotion efficacy – 13:33
- What is the difference between feelings and emotions?
- The signs of low emotion efficacy – 27:00
- How do you know if you have low emotion efficacy?
- What questions can you ask yourself to understand where you have room to grow emotionally?
- Five Steps to Increase Emotion Efficacy – 35:10
- What can you do to increase your emotion efficacy?
- What does it look like to have great emotion efficacy in times of intense uncertainty?
- The Loneliness Epidemic – 40:05
- What role does emotion efficacy play in your ability to connect with others and build friendships?
Emotion efficacy is the ability to understand your emotions and express them in a healthy manner. It’s what allows you to stay in a positive emotional state and navigate challenging situations. In times of intense uncertainty, it can be one of the most important things you possess.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Dr Aprilia West’s website
- What You Feel Is Not All There Is by Dr. Aprilia West
- Dr Aprilia West on Instagram
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover narcissism with Lily Walford. Lily is an international dating coach and the survivor of a toxic narcissistic relationship.
Narcissists are all around us and can cause untold harm to our mental wellbeing, so what can you do to identify and disarm narcissists, how can you tell if you’re in a relationship with one, and what should you look for to avoid getting into a relationship with one?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What does narcissism look like?
- How to identify narcissists – 15:30
- What signs can you look for if you think you’re dating a narcissist?
- How do you know if someone is a narcissist?
- Self-care after a relationship with a narcissist – 24:05
- What can you do to take care of yourself after a toxic relationship with a narcissist?
- Disarming Narcissists – 31:15
- What can you to disarm a narcissist?
- How will a narcissist stop you from disarming him or her?
- Dating after a narcissist – 41:07
- What 4 elements should you look for in a healthy relationship?
- What can you do to reinvigorate a relationship?
Narcissists tend to be charismatic and successful. If you surround yourself with top performers, chances are there is a narcissist among them. So it’s important to be able to identify them before they wreak havoc on your personal and professional life. Additionally, there are steps you can take to disarm narcissists so they lose their power over you and the people around you. And if you find yourself dating a narcissist, make sure you take time after the relationship to identify what went wrong and be on the lookout for the 4 elements of a healthy relationship so you don’t end up dating another narcissist.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Lily Walford’s website
- Love With Intelligence YouTube Channel
- Love With Intellgience Facebook Group
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover the science of competition with Ashley Merryman. Ashley is the Non-Resident Senior Fellow for the Joint Special Operations University and author of Top Dog: The Science of Winning and Losing.
Competition can be healthy and unhealthy, so how do you know the difference between healthy and unhealthy competition, what are the differences between how introverts and extroverts handle competition, and how does gender play a role in competition?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What are the biggest myths surrounding competition and trying to be number one?
- What are the benefits of competition?
- Healthy vs Unhealthy Competition – 9:00
- What is the difference between healthy competition and unhealthy competition?
- Where does the fear of failure come from?
- Overcome Fear of Failure – 15:30
- What is the difference between a challenge and a threat and how can one lead you to failure while the other leads to success?
- What can you do to overcome the fear of failure when you know people are watching you?
- Don’t Think About Pink Elephants – 29:40
- What can you do to start being competitive again after a severe loss?
- What are the differences between men and women when it comes to competition and competitive environments?
- What role does gender play in competition?
- Introverts vs Extroverts in Competition – 56:20
- Why do introverts and extroverts approach competition differently and how can you use that knowledge to improve your ability to compete whether you are an introvert or extrovert?
Competition can be a powerful motivator, but it’s important to make sure that you are using it in a healthy way. When competition becomes destructive and fear-based, it ruins our relationships and keeps us from achieving our goals. By understanding your own tendencies and working on overcoming your fears, you can learn to use competition in a positive way that unlocks your full potential.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Top Dog: The Science of Winning and Losing by Ashley Merryman
- Ashley Merryman’s website
- Ashley Merryman on Twitter
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover networking to survive the recession with AJ and Johnny.
People rely on those they trust in times of economic hardship, so what can you do to grow your network before the next economic downturn and what value can you offer to strengthen your existing network so you’re in a better position when the next recession hits?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- Why is networking so important when you’re starting in a new field or trying to move up in your current field?
- Why is a strong network important to have before a recession begins?
- What everyone gets wrong about networking – 13:03
- How do you network effectively so you’re not shooting yourself in the foot at every networking event?
- What is social capital and why do you need to understand it to network effectively?
- What three ways can you provide value to anyone in your network?
- The 4 levels of support value you can offer to anyone – 23:20
- What can you do to stand out from the crowd when congratulating or supporting someone in your network?
- Leverage your network to provide value to others – 33:50
- How can you use your existing network to grow it while also offering value to people inside and outside of your network?
- What simple strategy can you use to grow your network from nothing on LinkedIn?
It’s not a question of if the next recession will hit, but when. So, it’s important to start building your network now. A strong network can help you weather any storm. The more people you know in different industries and positions, the more resources you have at your disposal. Social capital is key to networking effectively; make sure you understand what it is and how to use it to your advantage.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- How to Attract High Value People & Opportunities | Toolbox
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover with Angie Morgan. Angie is the co-author of Bet on You: How to Win with Risk, a book about discovering the formula for success and decision-making confidence to transform even the most risk-averse mindset.
We have to take risks in order to become great at anything, but what do you do if that risk stops you dead in your tracks, who should you seek out for advice, and how can you manage risk so you can accomplish your dreams?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- How do you break something down that appears to be a large risk?
- Who are the three types of people you should look out for when getting advice on a big risk you want to take, and who should you avoid?
- How to Find High Value Communities – 13:05
- Where can you go to find high value communities that will support you and help you on your journey to achieve your dreams?
- How to Grow Your Confidence – 20:20
- What are the three components of confidence you need to focus on in order to become more confident?
- How to Mitigate Big Risk – 39:30
- What three strategies can you implement to effectively manage the risks you take in life?
When it comes to making big decisions, it’s important to get advice from the right people. Seek out those who will give you honest feedback and support you on your journey. Avoid getting bogged down by negative people or those who are not willing to help you achieve your dreams. With the right mindset and a supportive community, anything is possible. What risks are you ready to take in order to achieve your goals?
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Bet on You: How to Win with Risk by Angie Morgan
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover building high value relationships with AJ & Johnny.
Building high value relationships requires vulnerability, but what does it mean to be vulnerable, how do you know when to be vulnerable, and what are some simple strategies you can use to be more effective in relationship building?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- Why is it important to build high value relationships?
- How do you start making new friends?
- Turn Small Talk into Smart Talk – 12:00
- Why is vulnerability important when building connections with people?
- How do you bring vulnerability into your social interactions?
- The Three Levels of Vulnerability – 17:00
- What is the first level of vulnerability and how do you know when to use it?
- How do you know when to go to the deepest level of vulnerability?
- What red flags should you look for in the way people react to your vulnerability?
- The Cave Analogy of Vulnerability – 37:50
- Why is it important to lead with vulnerability before expecting others to be vulnerable?
We hope that you walk away from this episode feeling empowered to build high value relationships with others. By being vulnerable and authentic, we create opportunities for true connection and intimacy. When we lead with vulnerability, it sets the tone for a more open and connected relationship in which both parties can be their true selves. What are you waiting for? Start building those connections today!
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- The Strength of Weak Ties by Mark S. Granovetter
- Art of Charm Small Talk Cheat Sheet
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover social engineering with Christopher Hadnagy. Chris is an IT entrepreneur, IT security consultant, and the best-selling author of five books including his latest Human Hacking: Win Friends, Influence People, and Leave Them Better Off for Having Met You.
Social engineering is an effective tool to get what you want, but what is social engineering, how can you use it to instantly build rapport with complete strangers, and what should you look for if you think someone is using it against you?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What is social engineering and how do people use it every day?
- How to Build Rapport – 10:10
- Why is it important to learn how to build rapport and how do you go about learning it?
- The Four Questions of Trustworthiness – 25:18
- What are the four questions we ask ourselves to determine whether or not we can trust someone?
- How can you build rapport instantly with someone you’ve just met?
- When is flattery NOT ok? – 41:30
- When should you avoid complimenting someone?
- What’s the best way to compliment someone?
Social engineering is a powerful tool that can be used in positive or negative ways. By learning how to build rapport, you can use social engineering for good – to make connections with people, learn their stories, and understand them better. When you know how to spot red flags and protect yourself against social engineers, you become a more informed and empowered individual who can help keep themselves and others safe.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Human Hacking: Win Friends, Influence People, and Leave Them Better Off for Having Met You by Christopher Hadnagy
- Christopher Hadnagy’s website
- Christopher Hadnagy on Twitter
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover contextual behaviorism with Dr. Emily Sandoz. Emily is a professor of social sciences in the psychology department at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette, the director of the Louisiana Contextual Science Research Group, as well as the Editor in Chief of the Journal of Contextual Behavioral Sciences, and has co-authored three books on acceptance and commitment therapy.
Changing or eliminating problematic behavior is not as simple as flipping a switch, but what role does your environment play, how can you identify contextual problems in your daily life that are affecting your behavior, and what is the best way to learn new behaviors?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What is contextual behaviorism and how does the environment influence your ability to change your behavior?
- Using – 11:50
- How can you use contextual behaviorism to change your problematic behavior?
- What does it mean to have access to certain behaviors and how do you what behaviors you do have access to?
- Learning new behaviors – 23:07
- What is the best way to learn new behaviors?
- How can you use contextualism to manage your perfectionism?
- Give better advice with context in mind – 33:00
- How can you set up your environment to be more conducive to the life you want?
- How do you shift from a goal-driven mindset to a value-driven mindset and what’s the difference?
Context matters. That couldn’t be more true than with our behavioral development. Our behaviors impact the world around us and the world around us impacts our behaviors. So if you’re struggling to change your behaviors, one of the best places to look for a solution is your environment. What is it about your environment that is making it more difficult for you to change?
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Dr. Emily Sandoz
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover high value behaviors with AJ and Johnny.
Being a high value person opens doors to opportunities you never thought possible, so what does it mean to be high value, what high value behaviors should you look for in yourself and others, and what simple steps can you take to filter high value people into your life?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- Why are high value behaviors important if you want to have a healthy social circle and fulfilling life?
- What does it mean to be high value – 16:10
- What is the difference between high and low value behaviors and why should you avoid low value behaviors if you don’t want to be miserable?
- How do you deal with friends who want to hold you back when you’re trying to grow and be a better person?
- How to Build a High Value Social Circle – 28:00
- What steps can you take to build and maintain a social circle of high value individuals who will support you and be there for you when you need them?
- Examples of High Value Behavior – 37:50
- How can you identify high value behavior in the people around you so you know who to connect with and who to avoid?
So, what are high value behaviors? They’re the things that help us grow and become better people. They make our lives more fulfilling and meaningful. And they attract other high value individuals into our social circles. We all want to be happy and have a good life, but too often we get stuck around low value behavior that keeps us from reaching our goals. If you want to break out of this cycle and build a better life for yourself, start by making some changes in the way you interact with the people around you. Replace low value behaviors with high value ones, and surround yourself with positive people who will support your growth. It won’t be easy, but it’s worth it.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Avoid These 3 Low Value Behaviors (Toolbox)
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover winning your breakup with Natasha Adamo. Natasha is a high-performance coach, relationship coach, speaker, blogger with over two and a half million readers, and the author of Win Your Breakup: How to Be The One That Got Away.
Breakups can be painful and get drawn out, so what can you do win your breakup, what does it mean to win, and how can you avoid falling into another toxic relationship?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What are the signs of toxic relationships?
- How do you win your breakup?
- Breaking the Toxic Relationship Cycle – 19:48
- How do you break the cycle of jumping from one toxic relationship to another?
- What signs should you look for in a potential partner?
- Stay on your white horse after a breakup – 27:20
- What steps should you take after a breakup to speed up the recovery process?
- What should you avoid doing after a breakup if you want to move on?
- Emotional Entrepreneurship – 45:36
- What is an emotional entrepreneur and why are people drawn to emotional entrepreneurs?
Winning a breakup is not about getting your ex back. It's about gaining back control of your life and becoming emotionally stronger. So how do you win? You need to understand what it means to win. Identify the signs of toxic relationships, break the cycle of jumping from one toxic relationship to another, and take steps to speed up the recovery process..
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Natasha Adamo’s website
- Win Your Breakup: How to Be The One That Got Away by Natasha Adamo
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover mental health with Lori Gottlieb. Lori is a psychotherapist in Los Angeles, co-host of the podcast Dear Therapists, and the author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone.
Mental health is a priority now more than ever, so what are the overlooked signs that someone is struggling with mental health, how do you know if you should talk to a professional, and why is boundary setting crucial to positive mental health?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What are the overlooked signs that someone is struggling with mental health issues?
- What is the value in seeing a therapist versus talking to your friends and family about issues you’re experiencing in life?
- The self-sabotaging stories we tell ourselves – 11:12
- Why do we tell ourselves stories about what happens to us and how do those stories have lasting negative impacts on us and the people around us?
- What impact do the people around us have on our mental health and what can you do if your friends aren’t healthy for you?
- Setting and maintaining boundaries – 24:24
- How do you set boundaries and maintain them with people who constantly violate them?
- Finding the right person – 47:05
- What is the number one question you should ask yourself when on a first date?
Mental health is something many people struggle with, but often don’t talk about. The signs that someone is struggling can be easily overlooked if you’re not aware of them. It’s important to be there for your loved ones and help them get the help they need if you see any of these signs. If you’re experiencing mental health issues, it’s valuable to seek out therapy. Friends and family are great sources of support, but sometimes talking to somebody neutral who isn’t invested in our lives can be really helpful, even lifesaving.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Lori Gottlieb’s website
- Dear Therapists with Lori Gottlieb and Guy Winch
- TED Talk: How changing your story can change your life | Lori Gottlieb
- Overcoming Nice Guy Syndrome | Dr. Robert Glover
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover influence with Zoe Chance. Zoe is a teacher, writer, researcher, climate philanthropist, earned her doctorate from Harvard, teaches Mastering Influence and Persuasion, the most popular class at the Yale School of Management, and is the author of Influence is Your Superpower: The Science of Winning Hearts, Sparking Change, and Making Good Things Happen.
Influencing the people around you is a superpower, but how do you develop that ability through your charisma, what common mistakes are you making that kill your charisma, and what is the most important skill you need to influence people?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- Why is your ability to influence others a superpower?
- What are the three paradoxes of charisma?
- Anti-charismatic statements – 15:15
- What are diminishing statements, why do so many of us use them, and how do they kill your charisma?
- Charming vs Manipulating – 23:14
- How can you tell the difference between people using strategies and tactics to build genuine connections and using them to manipulate others to get what they want?
- How do you say no if you’re a people pleaser and what can you do to get comfortable with saying no?
- What does it mean to reframe something? – 32:30
- What is reframing and why is it a powerful tool in communication?
- What is the worst way to try and get someone to see your point of view?
- The levels of listening – 47:30
- What are the 5 levels of listening, and which level is the most important if you’re trying to connect with someone?
You have the ability to influence others, and that is a superpower. It’s time to start using your power for good. When you become aware of diminishing statements and how they kill your charisma, you can start reframing your communication in order to build genuine connections with the people around you. With practice, this will become second nature, and you’ll be able to use your newfound superpower for good in all areas of your life.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
Influence Is Your Superpower: The Science of Winning Hearts, Sparking Change, and Making Good Things Happen By Zoe Chance
Zoe Chance’s website
Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success by Adam Grant
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover metabolic health with Dr Philip Ovadia. Dr. Ovadia is a board certified Cardiac Surgeon, founder of Ovadia Heart Health, and the author of Stay Off My Operating Table: A Heart Surgeon’s Metabolic Health Guide to Lose Weight, Prevent Disease, and Feel Your Best Every Day.
What you put into your body has a direct impact on your metabolic health, but what is metabolic health, why is it important, and what can you do to support a strong metabolic health so you don’t end up on the operating table or in an early grave?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What is metabolic health and how does it impact the other areas of your life including mental health?
- The big medical myths – 13:17
- What is the biggest medical myth that is making us more unhealthy every year?
- Should we be consuming supplements?
- How did unhealthy food become so normalized that we serve it in hospitals where we’re supposed to go to get better?
- The 5 metrics of Metabolic Health – 26:09
- What metrics should you and your doctor pay attention to if you want to avoid ending up on the operating table?
- What is the biggest pitfall of intermittent fasting and what can you do to work around it?
- Nutrition and Metabolic Health – 35:44
- What should you eat to support your metabolic health and what should you avoid?
- How do nutrition and your metabolic health affect your mental well being?
It’s clear that metabolic health is critical for overall well-being. Unfortunately, unhealthy food has become normalized to the point where we are now serving it in hospitals. If you want to avoid ending up on the operating table, make sure you and your doctor are paying attention to the following metrics: fasting blood sugar, blood pressure, cholesterol levels, and waist circumference. To support your metabolic health, make sure you eat plenty of fiber-rich fruits and vegetables and other whole foods. Avoid processed foods high in sugar and seed oils. By making small changes to your diet, you can improve your metabolic health and reduce your risk of developing chronic diseases like heart disease or diabetes.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Dr Ovadia’s website
- Stay Off My Operating Table Podcast hosted by Dr Ovadia
- Stay off My Operating Table: A Heart Surgeon’s Metabolic Health Guide to Lose Weight, Prevent Disease, and Feel Your Best Every Day by Dr Ovadia
- Dr Ovadia on Twitter
- Why We Get Fat: And What to Do About It by Gary Taubes
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover trust and cooperation with Abbie Maroño. Abbie is the Director of Education at Social-Engineer, is a lecturer in Psychology, has a PhD in Behavior Analysis, was mentored by the body language expert Joe Navarro, and performs academic research specializing in nonverbal communication, trust, and cooperation.
Trust is important because our survival depends on our ability to cooperate with the people around us, so why do we place a strong emphasis on competition, what signals should we look for to determine someone’s trustworthiness, and how do we build trust in the first place?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What is the definition of trust according to modern science?
- How fast can trust be built and destroyed?
- The big myth about competition and survival of the fittest – 10:10
- What do we get wrong about competition vs cooperation in modern society, and why does this misconception lead to unhappiness and discontent in the workplace?
- What nonverbal signals should you look for to determine if someone is trustworthy?
- The trust problem with Zoom and Facetime – 24:52
- What 3 common mistakes should you avoid when talking to someone through a video call if you want to build trust and comfort?
- How does your lower body signal your approachability to the people around you, and how should you be standing if you want to be approachable?
- How to rebuild trust – 37:48
- What is the best way to apologize and rebuild trust after you break it?
- What are the biggest myths surrounding eye contact and trust?
Trust is essential for both our personal and professional lives, but it can be difficult to build and easy to destroy. By understanding the signals we send when it comes to trustworthiness, we can take the necessary steps to build trust or rebuild trust after it’s been broken. And by fostering a cooperative environment, we can create happier relationships and more productive teams.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Abbie Maroño’s website
- Abbie Maroño on Twitter
- Abbie Maroño on LinkedIn
- Joe Navarro | Become an Exceptional Communicator by Mastering These 5 Traits
- The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals by Charles Darwin
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover negotiation with Barry Nalebuff. Barry is a Professor at Yale where he has taught negotiation, innovation, strategy, and game theory for thirty years, and recently authored Split the Pie: A Radical New Way to Negotiate, which is based on his negotiation course.
Negotiating can be intimidating if you don’t do it on a regular basis, so what simple tips can you remember to make your next negotiation a win, how do you negotiate with people who are clearly more experienced than you, and what is the best question to ask when negotiating your salary?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What’s the difference between Split the Pie and Never Split the Difference?
- How to negotiate with unfair people – 10:55
- What can you do to negotiate with people who don’t care about fairness?
- How can you “be ready to walk away” from a once-in-a-lifetime deal?
- Dealing with people who don’t see the win-win outcome – 21:10
- How do we use empathy to get the other person’s perspective and come up with a deal that satisfies both parties?
- How much information should you disclose in a negotiation if you’re worried the information might be used against you?
- How to build your negotiation skills – 35:30
- What can you do to develop your negotiation skills?
- How can you get the other party to see the pie you’re negotiating over?
- What advice should you avoid when negotiating?
- Negotiate the salary you deserve – 44:08
- What questions can you ask so you know how to ask for the best compensation package without losing the offer?
It is important to remember that the goal of any negotiation should be a mutually beneficial agreement, aka the pie. Both parties need to feel like they’ve won something and achieved their goals in order for negotiations to be successful. If you can walk into a negotiation with empathy and an understanding of the other person’s perspective, you’re already on your way to building better skills. What have been your biggest challenges when negotiating? Let us know in the comments below. We would love to help!
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Split the Pie by Barry Nalebuff
- Co-Opetition by Barry Nalebuff
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover the brain with Lisa Barrett, PhD. Lisa is among the top one percent most cited scientists in the world for her revolutionary research in psychology and neuroscience, and is the author of the best-selling Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain.
As we learn more about the brain we realize how mistaken we once were, so what have we been getting wrong about the brain, what have we learned, and how can you use that information to eliminate the unhelpful patterns and bad habits holding you back from living a fulfilling life?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- Where did the myth about the lizard brain come from and why is it such a popular belief?
- Moving beyond the Lizard Brain – 10:47
- What is the correct way to think about the conflict between rationality and what we mistakenly believe is the lizard brain so we can work toward becoming the people we want to be?
- How is our brain functionality connected to our metabolism and how can you use that information to increase your brain’s performance and longevity?
- Busting the Memory Myth – 26:10
- How do our memories influence the way we operate in life and what can you do to overwrite old patterns that aren’t helping you anymore?
- How does your metabolism
- Do we have control over our actions? – 35:10
- How does your body react to things before you are consciously aware of them and how can you use that to recognize unhelpful patterns?
- What can you do to deconstruct unhelpful patterns and habits, and make it easier to build healthier habits?
- Why does anxiety make things harder? – 43:30
- What can you do to make it easier to do things that would normally cause you a lot of stress and anxiety?
- How do our brains wire to connect and influence the brains of the people we interact with?
Science has shown us that our words and behavior have a measurable impact on the health of people around us. This means if we want to have a positive impact on those we care about, it’s crucial that we are thoughtful and intentional when interacting with others. Be mindful of the words you use, the eye contact you make, the body language you use, and how you treat people. Every person you influence will in turn influence you, so if you want to live in a positive, supporting environment, make sure you are treating others with love, respect, and encouragement.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Lisa Barrett’s website
- Seven And A Half Lessons About The Brain by Lisa Barrett
- How Emotions are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain by Lisa Barrett
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover low value behavior with AJ and Johnny.
We all exhibit low value behavior that can push people away from us, so what are low value behaviors, what makes us exhibit low value behavior, and what can you do to stop these low value behaviors from destroying friendships and relationships?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What are low value behaviors, how do they push people away from us, and how can you notice them so you stop exhibiting them?
- Why do low value behaviors make it difficult to create lasting friendships and relationships?
- Why do we need attention, approval, and acceptance? – 14:20
- What do we need from other humans to feel safe and why does every human need it?
- How does your childhood shape the way you seek out value in the world and what can you do if your childhood influenced you to exhibit a lot of low value behaviors?
- How to Identify Low Value Behaviors – 24:27
- What is the difference between a high value person and a low value person?
- What is supplicative behavior and what are some examples so you can make sure you don’t exhibit supplicative behavior?
- When is being agreeable considered low value behavior?
- Combative Behavior – 43:02
- Why is it low value behavior to be argumentative and confrontational?
- What are the verbal and nonverbal signals of combative behavior?
- The Third Low Value Behavior – 50:05
- When is it low value behavior to be competitive?
- What is it about these low value behaviors that repel high value people from your life and what can you shift to high value behavior instead?
One of the worst blindspots people have in social situations is the way we go about satisfying our need for attention, approval, and acceptance. And we refer to attention, approval, and acceptance as value. We all have a need for value whether you like it or not. The difference between low value people and high value people is the way they go about getting that value. Low value people beg for it, fight you for it, and compete with you for it. High value people simply recognize their own value and seek to highlight the value in the people around them.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere!
Resources from this Episode
- Mira Kirshenbaum | The Biggest Myth About Arguments
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover passive communication with Dr Robert Glover. Robert is an internationally recognized authority on the Nice Guy Syndrome, has helped thousands of nice guys transform from being passive, resentful victims to empowered, integrated males, and is the author of No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan For Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life.
Trying to be the nice guy is a fatal step many men take to get what they want out of life, but what makes being a nice guy so bad, how can you identify your nice guy tendencies, and what can you do to get what you want without being a jerk?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What is Nice Guy Syndrome and why is being a nice guy (or nice girl) counterproductive to getting what you want out of life?
- Does Nice Guy Syndrome also apply to women?
- Being a Nice Guy makes people like you less – 13:30
- Why does being a nice guy lead people to trust you less and like you less, and what should you do instead?
- Why do Nice Guys seem inauthentic and untrustworthy?
- The Covert Contracts of Nice Guys – 19:38
- What are the three secret contracts Nice Guys have with other people and why are these contracts harmful to them and their relationships?
- Identify Relationships that are not serving you – 32:34
- What are Cooperative Reciprocal Relationships and what exercise can you do now to understand what relationships are not helping you and what relationships you should add to your life?
- Setting Boundaries and Expressing Your Desires – 44:25
- What can you do if you know you should set boundaries but aren’t sure how to set them or defend them when people around you push back?
- If you feel shame related to your sexual desires, what can you do to work through it and develop a healthy relationship with your needs and wants, as well as expressing them confidently instead of hiding them?
Being a nice guy sounds like a good idea, doesn’t it? Why would it be a bad thing? Turns out, when a man is trying to be a nice guy, it almost always means he’s not being authentic. Many times, a nice guy is nice because he thinks that’s what other people want him to be. He thinks being nice will result in people liking him and treating him better and sleeping with him. Instead, people see the niceness as a facade masking his true intentions and feelings. This makes him untrustworthy and unlikable. People respect and are drawn to others who are comfortable being themselves and being honest with the people around them.
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Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
- Dr. Robert Glover’s website
- No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover the art of insubordination with Todd Kashdan. Todd is among the world’s top experts on the psychology of well-being, psychological strengths, mental agility, and social relationships.
Being a dissenter in today’s society is hard, but it is more important now than ever, so what can you do to raise questions about problems you see without being silenced, and how can you get your message across so people rally behind you instead of condemn you?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What is the art of insubordination and why should you care?
- Why is it important to have a public square where people can meet and exchange ideas?
- The crucial importance of a clear consistent message – 12:07
- If political polarization isn’t our biggest issue in society, what is and how do we overcome it?
- How does technology speed up how quickly we self-segregate and isolate ourselves from different ideas and why is this dangerous to society?
- Why does the use of labels get us into trouble and how do we overcome the stigma of labels?
- Why We Must Understand the Art of Insubordination – 25:17
- Why is the act of dissent important?
- What can you do to persuade friends and family when you are a dissenter?
- How can you introduce dissent into the mainstream without getting canceled?
- How to be a Principled Rebel in Modern Society – 35:12
- What does it mean to be a principled rebel and why does every society need principled rebels?
- What is the best way to get your message across if you are part of a struggling minority influence?
- Why do we need to expose ourselves to ideas that run counter to our own beliefs and worldview?
Dissenting is about more than just holding ideas and beliefs counter to mainstream thought. You must be willing to get involved in mainstream conversations, listen to what people have to say, and provide a legitimate path forward so people can see where your ideas lead. This allows them to be more comfortable following your ideas and handling any discomfort that might come from trying to change their worldview and the world around them.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog w,hen you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
- Todd Kashdan’s website
- The Art of Insubordination: how to dissent & defy effectively
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover leadership and decision-making with David Siegel. David is the CEO of Meetup, the largest platform for finding and building local communities, and the author of Decide & Conquer: 44 Decisions that will Make or Break All Leaders.
Success is determined by the decisions you make and the people you surround yourself with, so how can you know when you’re making the right decision for your future, what can you do to surround yourself with people who will help you create success, and how do you maintain firm boundaries along the way?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What does it take to be the CEO of a great company like Meetup and how can you apply that knowledge to your own goals?
- Build a powerful network like a CEO – 19:28
- What can you do to build a network that will get you to the next level of your career?
- How do you create luck in your life so more and more opportunities present themselves to you?
- What can you do to set firm boundaries as you become more successful?
- Navigate difficult conversations with ease – 38:14
- When is the right time to have a difficult conversation and what can you do to make difficult conversations easier?
- How do you move your ego out of the way so it doesn’t sabotage your success as a leader?
- Build a thriving company culture – 49:03
- What can you do to foster a company culture that is open to change and willing to cooperate on effecting change?
- What’s next for Meetup?
CEOs know the importance of having a powerful network and tough decision-making. It’s what gets them through difficult conversations and allows them to build a thriving company culture. But, it doesn’t happen overnight. You have to be intentional about who you connect with and how you engage with them if you want to reap the benefits. What are some things you can do this week to start building your own powerful CEO-style network and decision-making framework?
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
- The fall of WeWork’s Adam Neumann
- Decide and Conquer: 44 Decisions that will Make or Break All Leaders
- MeetUp
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover setting boundaries with Nedra Tawwab. Nedra is a licensed therapist, sought-after relationship expert who has practiced relationship therapy for 14 years, and author of the instant New York Times bestseller “Set Boundaries, Find Peace”.
Boundaries are a challenging concept to implement for many, but it can be simplified once you understand them, so what are boundaries, what does it mean to communicate and defend your boundaries, and how do you handle situations where people are repeatedly crossing your boundaries?
What to Listen For
- Introduction to Boundaries – 0:00
- Why did Nedra Tawwab write a book on boundaries?
- Why is boundary setting pushed out of us as children only to be demanded of us as adults, and what can you do to reclaim your ability to set boundaries so you can avoid unhealthy relationships?
- What does it mean to set a boundary and how do you know when you should set a boundary?
- Respecting Your Boundaries – 11:00
- What should you say if you need to back out of a commitment?
- Should you feel bad about backing out of a commitment?
- What leads someone to ghost you and how should you handle it?
- Building & Defending Your Boundaries – 24:50
- What should you say if someone disrespects your boundary?
- How do you set new boundaries with someone?
- What can you do to show up for your team while setting healthy boundaries so you can get your work done?
- Healthy vs Unhealthy Consequences for Boundaries – 34:40
- How do you know when a relationship should end if the other person keeps crossing your boundaries?
- How do you handle family members who are unwilling or unable to respect your boundaries?
Boundaries are important because they allow us to build healthy relationships with people who respect us as individuals. If you don’t communicate to someone what it means to respect you and treat you well, you’re gambling on their ability to read your mind. I don’t know any mind readers so I’d call that a bad gamble.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
- Nedra Tawwab on Instagram
- Nedra Tawwab’s website
- Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Tawwab
- Set Boundaries Workbook
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
- AJ on Instagram
- Johnny on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on Instagram
- The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover procrastination and perfectionism with Jennifer Kemp. Jennifer is a leading expert on perfectionism and builds flexibility and self-compassion when working with therapeutic clients.
Many of us experience perfectionism in different ways but they all hold us back from where we want to be, so what are the different ways perfectionism shows up in your life, what are the warning signs your perfectionism is unhealthy, and what can you do to overcome your perfectionism?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What is unhelpful perfectionism and how is it different from the perfectionism we understand today?
- What 4 signs can you look for to identify whether your perfectionism is healthy or not?
- The importance of adapting vs perfecting – 13:40
- How does the pursuit of perfection lead to less progression when you’re trying to learn or improve a skill?
- What classes can you take to improve your conversational ability, sense of humor, and perfectionism?
- What makes Art of Charm training programs so effective – 25:39
- How do AoC alumni maintain their development after the program so they don’t fall back into their old behavior?
- How does skill development become self-reinforcing so it feels fun rather than a lot of work?
- The warning signs of perfectionism – 39:20
- How is perfectionism linked to other mental health issues and how can you identify them?
- What exercises can you do if you’re struggling with a harsh inner critic?
Is perfectionism keeping you from the success you’re after? You’re not alone. Perfectionism can show up in your life in several ways, including procrastination. Perfectionism can be a strength when it helps you create quality results, but it’s not doing you any favors if it stops you from taking action.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
Jennifer Kemp’s website
The ACT Workbook for Perfectionism
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover being an awesome human with Nataly Kogan. Nataly is a former writer for Verywell Mind, the co-founder and CEO of Happier, a leading wellness company on a mission to make millions of people happier, and the author of The Awesome Human Project.
Burnout can be a deadly trap you don’t recognize until the damage is done, so what can you do to avoid it (and still be successful), how does perfectionism make it worse, and how do you find your “why” so you can push through tough times and criticism?
What to Listen For
- Introduction – 0:00
- What are some obvious signs of burnout?
- What is the biggest lie entrepreneurs and leaders tell themselves to keep pushing through burn out?
- Be an Awesome Human – 12:47
- How do you edit your thoughts to help you be the best version of yourself?
- What two questions can you ask yourself to edit your thoughts and stop your mind from sabotaging your work, relationships, and goals?
- What does it mean to treat yourself with compassion and why do we ALL need to treat ourselves with more compassion?
- Perfectionism is the Enemy of Completion – 31:00
- How can you reframe perfectionism so it doesn’t stop you from finishing what you start and putting your work out there for others to enjoy?
- Why is it detrimental to your success to value every piece of criticism you receive?
- Find your “why” and flourish in any job – 41:31
- Why is it important to know your “why” when it comes to long term success and fulfillment in any line of work?
- What is emotional fitness, why is it just as important as physical fitness, and how do you develop it?
It’s easy to undervalue our physical and mental needs when pursuing ambitious goals. You can get lost in devoting countless hours to building a company and push aside physical exercise because it takes time away from the company. You can get lost in spending all of your free time at the gym and push aside quality sleep because “sleep is for the weak.” But we tend to forget the only reason we can do any of these things is because we have one precious life to work with.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
Nataly Kogan’s website
The Awesome Human Project by Nataly Kogan
Awesome Human Hour hosted by Nataly Kogan
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover happiness with Arthur C. Brooks. Arthur is a professor at the Harvard Kennedy School and Harvard Business School, and is the author of 12 books, including the national bestsellers “Love Your Enemies” and “The Conservative Heart”, and his newest title “From Strength to Strength”.
Happiness and meaning are two things we all want but many of us follow the wrong paths to find them, so how do you figure out what the correct path is and how do you find meaning in a world that is focused on satisfying superficial desires?
What to Listen For
-
Introduction – 0:00
-
What is the ultimate secret to happiness according to science?
- What are the 4 disciplines exhibited by happy people on a daily basis that you can start implementing today?
-
How can you get the benefits of religious faith & community if organized religion isn’t your thing?
-
Achievement does not equal Fulfillment – 14:19
-
Why do some of the most successful people on the planet feel empty and alone?
-
Why do many of us reach a point in our careers when we feel we’ve peaked and what can you do to keep excelling in your profession beyond that point?
-
What is success addiction, how do we fall into it, and what can you do to kick the addiction if you find yourself addicted to success?
-
Strive for fulfillment instead of achievement – 29:10
-
What should we be pursuing if our current goals of money, power, fame, and pleasure are leading us to feel unhappy, alone, and empty?
-
Why is school/education not the answer if you’re looking for more meaning in life, and what are we looking for when we think school is the answer?
-
How are music and other creative pursuits related to our ability to find fulfillment and happiness?
Everyday the world tries to convince us the path to happiness and fulfillment is traversed by spending money on a product or service. We are made to think being famous will lead to fulfillment and love. We mistakenly believe having more power and control over the world around us will lead to feeling complete and accomplished. The funny thing about happiness and fulfillment is they are found in the simple things that do not require significant sums of money: loving the people around you, wanting and needing less, having strong spiritual beliefs, and doing work that is a service to others.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
Arthur C. Brooks’s website
From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life by Arthur C. Brooks
Dr. Judson Brewer | Unwinding Anxiety
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
In today’s episode, we cover neuroticism with Dr. Taylor Burrowes. Taylor received her PhD in Marriage and Family Counseling, is a retired mental health counselor and marriage & family therapist, and now works independently.
Like mental health in general, we all fall somewhere on a spectrum of neuroticism, so how can you notice when you’re exhibiting neurotic behavior and what can you do to make sure it doesn’t ruin your relationships?
What to Listen For
-
Introduction – 0:00
-
What is neuroticism and how does it show up in all of us?
-
Who is Dr Taylor Burrowes?
-
The signs of neuroticism – 15:18
-
How are restlessness and neuroticism connected and how can you identify when restlessness is leading you to make poor decisions?
-
Why are pauses important in conversation when you’re speaking to one person or an audience?
-
What can you do to stop overthinking from ruining your relationships while still allowing it to help you in areas like work?
-
How does neuroticism influence your social development – 33:36
-
Why is overthinking detrimental to your ability to be seen as authentic and build relationships?
-
Why is coaching so important when it comes to developing your social skills?
-
Why do we jump to conclusions that often have no evidence supporting them and how can we stop doing it?
-
What causes you to experience neurotic behavior – 52:20
- What are the root causes of the neurotic behavior we all experience at times and what can you do about it?
We’re all a little bit crazy, and that’s ok. Neuroticism shows up in all of us in several ways including restlessness, overthinking, and jumping to conclusions. It can get in the way of healthy relationships, especially for men, because neuroticism conveys a lack of confidence in who you are. Once you can recognize neurotic behaviors, you can remind yourself it’s important to not act on them.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
Dr Taylor Burrowes’s website
Dr Taylor Burrowes on Twitter
10 ways neuroticism shows up in men and what to do about it | YouTube
The Vetting System by Dr. Taylor Burrowes
The 4 Stress Languages | YouTube
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover regret with Daniel Pink. Daniel is the author of several New York Times bestsellers, including Drive and To Sell is Human, and his newest book, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward.
To have freedom of choice means we will experience regret, so what can you do to have a healthy relationship with your regrets, and how can you look at regret moving forward so you make the decisions that will lead to the least amount of regret?
What to Listen For
-
Introduction – 0:00
-
What is the best way to motivate a team working on a long term project?
- What is the single biggest motivator in someone’s day-to-day work and how can you use that to increase your productivity and your team’s productivity?
-
What question can you ask to get unstuck when you’re not sure how to proceed in work and life?
-
Is it possible to live life without any regrets – 13:19
-
Why is it actually unhealthy to try to live without regrets and what benefit do regrets serve us?
-
What is the difference between regret and rumination and why can one be good for you but not the other?
- What are the four categories of regrets?
-
How do you know when you should reach out to someone you’ve lost touch with?
-
How to use regret in a meaningful way – 38:00
-
What strategies can you use to develop a healthy relationship with your regrets so they don’t stop you from enjoying life and becoming successful?
-
Why is self-compassion important for neutralizing the harmful effects of regrets?
Regrets can suck, but there are a variety of ways to reframe regret and develop a healthy relationship with it so it guides you rather than torments you. When we feel regret over a decision we made, it’s important to spend time understanding why you feel that regret. Then think about the next time that decision might have to be made and commit to making it. Write it down. Tell your friends so they can hold you accountable if possible.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
Daniel Pink’s website
Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us
The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover breaking the ice with AJ, Johnny, and Michael Herold.
Why is breaking the ice an important skill, what impact does it have on your health, and what strategies can you use to make breaking the ice easy and effective?
What to Listen For
-
Breaking the ice and your health – 0:00
-
Why should we be engaging in more small talk and why is it dangerous to our mental and physical health to spend too much time alone?
-
What is the first obvious signal that loneliness is your new normal and what can you do to break out of that cycle?
-
Make small talk more effective – 20:18
-
Why are witty one-liners ineffective at breaking the ice and what should you say instead?
-
What questions should you avoid when meeting someone for the first time, and what questions should you ask instead?
-
What is the easiest way to revive a conversation if you feel like it’s dying or getting awkward?
-
Break the ice MORE OFTEN! – 30:58
-
How should we be looking at breaking the ice and small talk if we want more opportunities, more friends, and a more fulfilling life?
-
How do you break the ice with someone wearing headphones?
- Why is making small talk important if you have goals and dreams you want to accomplish in life?
It’s easy for us introverts to dismiss small talk and interactions with strangers as a waste of time. What’s the point, right? The problem with this mentality is that it ignores our human nature. We are social creatures, and as social creatures our mental and physical health will suffer if we are isolated from our tribe. That is one reason being exiled from the tribe used to be the ultimate punishment as life without the support of your fellow tribesmen surely meant death in the wild.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
Is Efficiency Overrated?: Minimal Social Interactions Lead to Belonging and Positive Affect
Art of Charm Ice Breaker Cheat Sheet
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover breathing with James Nestor. James has written for Scientific American, BBC, The New York Times, The Atlantic, National Public Radio and more, and is the author of the best-selling book, Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art.
Breathing incorrectly can have detrimental effects on your sleep, metabolism, inflammation, and even your lifespan, but what is the correct way to breathe, why is evolution working against us so we breathe worse over time, and what exercise can you use to train your body to subconsciously breathe correctly?
What to Listen For
-
Introduction – 0:00
-
How did James Nestor become so focused on breathing?
- How is evolution working against our breathing?
-
What do people often get wrong about survival of the fittest and evolution?
-
The Lost Art of Breathing – 11:10
-
Why is breathing not talked about by the medical community when it’s so crucial to our health and wellbeing?
-
How does breathing impact your sleep and what can you do to improve your sleep with your breathing?
- How does breathing impact your metabolism and how can you use your breathing to help you burn more calories?
-
How are lung capacity and lifespan connected and how can you increase your lifespan?
-
Breathe CORRECTLY to eliminate inflammation – 34:00
-
How is your breathing on a daily basis making your chronic inflammation worse and how should you be breathing instead?
-
Why do you need to stop breathing with your mouth?
-
Why do we feel better as humans when we breathe through our noses and not our mouths?
- How long should you inhale, hold your breath, and exhale to train your body to breathe correctly?
- How can correct breathing make you a better public speaker?
Many people go through their entire lives without thinking about the way they breathe. It’s one of those things that our bodies do automatically so it’s easy to shrug off, but breathing is arguably one of the most important activities we do on a daily basis, so time should be spent trying to understand the best way to breathe.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art by James Nestor
James Nestor’s website
Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by Matthew Walker
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover anxiety with Dr. Judson Brewer. Jud is the Director of Research and Innovation at the Mindfulness Center and associate professor in Behavioral and Social Sciences at the School of Public Health and Psychiatry at the School of Medicine at Brown University, as well as head of behavioral health at Sharecare.
Anxiety can make anyone’s life more difficult, but you can take steps to minimize or eliminate it altogether—so how are your habits and thought processes making your anxiety worse, and what can you do to take back control of your life?
What to Listen For
-
Introduction – 0:00
-
What common misconceptions do people have about anxiety?
-
How do habits and anxiety play off each other and what can we do to prevent our habits from creating crippling anxiety?
-
Taking back control from our environment and biology – 12:51
-
What can you do to overcome the influence our environments and biology have on amping up our anxiety?
-
What simple exercise can you do to stop bad habits and when should you do it?
-
What question can you ask yourself if you want to stop binging or over indulging?
-
Is anxiety stopping you from pursuing positive activities? – 34:56
-
What can you do if your anxiety is getting in the way of doing things that are good for you?
-
How can bringing awareness to your anxiety help you to get your life back from anxiety dictating your actions?
-
The danger and harm caused by worrying – 49:20
-
What is going on when you worry and how does it impact your behaviors?
-
What can you do if you’re constantly worrying?
In ancient times, anxiety was useful for teaching us what we should be concerned about. But in the modern world, we are bombarded with a million things everyday that we “should” worry about. Between notifications on our smartphones, the news, that overflowing email inbox, and everything we see on social media, the anxiety can be overwhelming. As a result, we tend to develop habits as a way of coping with the anxiety, and those habits can lead to even worse anxiety.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
Dr. Brewer’s website
Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind by Dr. Judson Brewer
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover healthy relationships and finding the right partner with Dr Yael. Dr Yael is a licensed clinical psychologist, assistant professor at Brown University, and writer about parenting, work, and relationships.
A healthy relationship takes work, but how do you know what relationships are worth the work, is moving in together a good test for the relationship, and how do you reignite passion in a relationship?
What to Listen For
-
Introduction – 0:00
-
Why did Dr Yael Schonbrun take the Art of Charm Unstoppable program?
-
What is the trap many of us fall into in the modern dating world and why are we making it harder to find healthy relationships?
-
Value based dating and moving in together – 13:00
-
What questions can you ask to figure out what you want to get out of dating?
-
What mindset do you need to avoid if you’re thinking about moving in with someone you’re dating?
-
What signs should you look out for when thinking about moving in with someone?
-
Looking beyond lust for red flags – 30:40
-
How should you think about lust when you’re actively dating?
-
Reigniting passion in a relationship – 44:40
-
What is the foundation for passion in romantic relationships and what can you do to reintroduce it?
-
What is the evolutionary need for novelty in romantic relationships?
- How do you know when a relationship is worth ending?
Your relationships require the same work we put into everything else in life. If we go about life acting as if those relationships will always be there, we are bound to lose them. Why should they invest time in us if we’re not willing to invest in them? The first step in developing healthy relationships is making that commitment to invest and following through.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
Dr. Yael Schonbrun’s website
Unstoppable Coaching Program
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover what we learned in 2021.
2021 was a wild ride for everyone, so let’s take a moment to reflect on what we’ve learned, overcome, and how far we’ve come.
What to Listen For
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Introduction – 0:00
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What was the most powerful takeaway for negotiating we heard from our guests?
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What simple and effective strategy can you use to make healthy habits much easier to adopt?
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Asking for help doesn’t need to be hard – 20:00
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What simple mental switch can you flip to make asking for help a positive experience for both people?
-
What proven strategies can you use to better manage your anxiety on a daily basis?
-
Why is the pursuit of balance the wrong goal to chase if you want to be successful?
-
How do AJ and Johnny decide how to interview each guest – 37:01
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What can you do to prepare a solid interview experience for anyone you have on a podcast?
-
What have AJ, Johnny, and coach Michael done and learned over the last year and what can you take away from their lessons?
The podcast has had some amazing guests over the last year. Let’s take a minute to highlight all the game changing tips, tricks, and strategies we’ve learned in 2021.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
Victoria Medvec | Master Negotiation By Avoiding These 3 Traps
Katy Milkman | Eliminate Unhealthy Habits Today with 3 Scientifically Proven Strategies
Dr. Caroline Leaf | The Secret to Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess & 5 Steps to Healing Grief
Joe Navarro | Become an Exceptional Communicator by Mastering These 5 Traits
Tim Grover | Achieve Superhuman Focus by Annihilating Distractions
Erica Dhawan | Communicate Powerfully by Mastering Digital Body Language
Carey Nieuwhof | Incredible Productivity and Never Burn Out
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover the art of gift giving with John Ruhlin. John Ruhlin is the founder and CEO of Ruhlin Group, the master of building businesses by giving gifts, and the author of Giftology: The Art and Science of Using Gifts to Cut Through the Noise, Increase Referrals, and Strengthen Retention.
Giving the right gift can radically strengthen any personal or business relationship, but what questions should you ask when thinking about the right gift for someone, what gifts should you avoid at all cost, and when is the right time to give a gift?
What to Listen For
-
Introduction – 0:00
-
Who do people often overlook when it comes to building and maintaining relationships?
- What can you do to make gift giving feel less like a transaction and more like a natural part of relationship building?
-
How can you make gift giving a game changer for all of your personal and professional relationships?
-
The secret to giving gifts that change your life – 13:17
-
How much money should you set aside for giving gifts every year and why do you need to plan for it?
-
What is the ultimate recipe for gift giving and what should you think about when giving gifts?
-
Examples of business changing gifts – 26:23
-
What crucial questions should you think about when personalizing a gift for someone?
-
How should you start giving gifts if it’s not something you’re used to doing?
-
What types of gifts should you never send?
-
Tips for personal gift giving – 45:36
- What gifts can you give to deepen your personal relationships?
The right gift can change someone’s life and create a memory that will last forever. But how can you figure out what that gift might be? For one, it must be meaningful to the receiver, and what things in a person’s life are likely to be the most meaningful? In many cases, it’s our values and our families, so think about how you might personalize an item that person uses or sees everyday and incorporate something related to their values or family. An example? How about a knife set in which each knife is engraved with a different favorite quote of theirs.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
The Top 10 Gifts You Should NEVER Give
John Ruhlin’s website
Giftology website
Giftology: The Art and Science of Using Gifts to Cut Through the Noise, Increase Referrals, and Strengthen Retention by Josh Ruhlin
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover moving to a new city with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.
Moving to a new city can often feel like a scary or intimidating life event, but it doesn’t have to—so why does moving feel like a bad thing, what can you do to look at moving as an exciting opportunity, and what can you do to make sure you live a fulfilling life no matter where you go?
What to Listen For
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Introduction – 0:00
-
What should you NOT do if you want to create a new life when moving to a new city?
-
What can you do to meet new people in a city before you move there?
-
Third Place: what is it and why do we need it? – 11:41
-
What is the “third place” and why is it important for the health and strength of every community and its residents?
-
What is the most important factor in a communal meeting place within your community?
-
How to find (or create) your third place – 21:56
-
What easy exercise can you do today to find a great place to meet new people who share your interests and are open to meeting new people?
-
Where can you look to experience your city from a different perspective that makes it easy to meet new people?
-
Meeting people made easy – 36:40
- Why is it important to have missions in life and what missions can you give yourself with to make it easy to build a social circle anywhere in the world?
Moving to a new city can be scary when you don’t know anyone there, but it doesn’t have to be. There are several things you can do to make the process of building a social circle or professional network from scratch easy. Start by making a list of hobbies or interests you enjoy and look for opportunities to engage in those activities in the city you’re moving to.
Be sure to grab a copy of our Move To A New City Checklist: https://theartofcharm.com/newcity
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
The Great Good Place: Cafes, Coffee Shops, Bookstores, Bars, Hair Salons, and Other Hangouts at the Heart of a Community by Ray Oldenburg
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover self-compassion with Dr Kristin Neff. Kristin received her doctorate from the University of California at Berkeley, is a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, and is releasing her new book Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive.
Self-compassion is the key to stop your inner critic in its tracks, but what is self-compassion, why is it important to be happy, and what can you do to develop a strong sense of self-compassion?
What to Listen For
-
Introduction – 0:00
-
What are the three elements of self-compassion and how can you use self-compassion to improve your daily life?
- What are the warning signs you need self-compassion and what ways can you apply self-compassion?
-
Why is it easier to show compassion toward others and not ourselves?
-
Exercises to Strengthen Self-Compassion – 18:22
-
What simple exercises can you use right now to show yourself more compassion and stop being so hard on yourself?
-
What can you do to work on mindfulness?
-
Setting and Maintaining Boundaries – 27:10
-
Why are boundaries important in developing your self-compassion?
-
How can you set boundaries and learn how to say no while showing compassion and self-compassion?
-
Perfectionism and Self-Compassion – 39:00
- What can you do to manage your perfectionism with self-compassion so you can stop beating yourself up over mistakes and failures?
If you struggle with accepting your mistakes and failures, self-compassion is your key to developing a healthy relationship with your imperfect self. We all make mistakes, but for some reason we are much better at showing compassion to the people we care about than ourselves. Cultivating a practice of self-compassion can change that and allow you to be kind to yourself while still pushing yourself to keep improving.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
Dr Kristin Neff’s website
Fierce Self-Compassion by Dr Kristin Neff
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover the pursuit of meaning with Paul Bloom. Paul is Professor of Psychology at the University of Toronto, Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Yale University, is the author of six books including his newest book, The Sweet Spot: The Pleasures of Suffering and the Search for Meaning.
The pursuit of meaning is often overshadowed by the pursuit of happiness, but which one is more important to living a fulfilling life, how are suffering, meaning, and happiness related, and what steps can you take to pursue meaning in your life?
What to Listen For
-
Introduction – 0:00
-
How does science define suffering and why is some good while some is bad?
-
Why do we seek out sorrow, suffering, and pain in experiences like spicy food, roller coasters, scary movies, etc?
-
Pursuit of Happiness vs Pursuit of Meaning – 11:40
- How does pain lead to an increased sense of meaning in life?
- How does money influence our suffering and happiness?
- Why are people in rich countries generally happy while people in poor countries have more meaning in life?
-
What can you do to help your children understand the difference between happiness and meaning in life?
-
A fulfilling existence is not just about positive feelings – 31:56
-
Why is it important to embrace painful experiences on a regular basis?
-
How can you find meaning in life without thinking about it or intentionally seeking it out?
- Is there a link between chasing prestige, status, and meaning?
- What is the difference between pursuing pleasure and pursuing meaning?
- How can anxiety prevent you from finding meaning in life and what can you do to overcome it?
It is unfortunate that we put so much effort into avoiding pain, discomfort, and suffering. It is understandable from a short term perspective because it is natural for anything that feels pain to avoid things that cause pain. But it is the pain, discomfort, and suffering in our lives that leads to us learning and becoming stronger, wiser, more competent humans. This is not to say you should go outside and break your arm, but that pain is inevitable, and if we can learn to embrace it and work through it, those efforts will pay off much more in the long run than simply trying to be comfortable and safe as much as possible.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
The Sweet Spot: The Pleasures of Suffering and the Search for Meaning
Paul Bloom’s website
Paul Bloom on Twitter
Master Your Mindset with David Goggings | AoC Podcast
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover how to change with Katy Milkman. Katy is a professor at The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, host of Charles Schwab’s popular behavioral economics podcast Choiceology, and the former president of the international Society for Judgment and Decision Making.
Making long lasting changes in our behavior can be difficult, so what mindsets help us to make changes, what can you do to overcome low confidence when making big changes, and how do you overcome procrastination so you don’t keep putting off the life you want?
What to Listen For
-
Introduction – 0:00
-
What mindsets are best suited to achieving long lasting results when attempting to change something about yourself?
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Overcoming low confidence when making big changes – 14:00
- What can you do if you don’t feel confident in your ability to improve yourself or make a big change in your life?
- What can you do to create accountability in you and your friends’ lives?
-
What simple and powerful tip can you implement to make hard habits easier to form?
-
Strategies for overcoming procrastination – 25:00
-
What strategies can you implement to overcome procrastination?
-
How can you set up your life so it makes it easier for you to make better decisions for yourself?
It’s not easy to make long-lasting improvements in our lives. Fortunately, there is plenty of science to show us different ways to make those improvements easier, whether it’s relying on friends for accountability, associating the behavior change with a positive activity you enjoy, or even different ways of punishing yourself for not following through with your commitments.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
Katy Milkman’s website
How to Change: The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be by Katy Milkman
Stickk website
Beeminder website
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover social media’s impact on mental health with Dr Brian Primack. Brian is the dean of the College of Education and Health Professions at the University of Arkansas, the professor of public health and medicine, and is the author of You Are What You Click: How Being Selective, Positive, and Creative Can Transform Your Social Media Experience.
Science is showing us that social media use in any dose can have detrimental effects on our mental health, so what can we do to ensure we have a positive experience on social media and protect ourselves and those we care about its effects?
What to Listen For
-
Introduction – 0:00
-
What amount of social media use won’t increase the risk for mental health issues?
-
Social Media vs Traditional Media – 11:37
- What does “You are what you click” mean?
- How are social media algorithms working against your mental health and what can you do about it?
-
What are the two things we can control while using social media that limit the harm it does to us?
-
Do different platforms have different impacts? – 21:47
-
Does the number of social media platforms you use impact your risk for mental health issues?
-
What can you do to have a positive experience on social media so you’re not negatively impacting your mental health every time you log in?
-
How much impact does social media use have on your quality of sleep and what can you do about it?
-
The damage of constantly comparing yourself to others – 31:00
-
Why is it bad for you to constantly be looking at the highlight reels of other people's lives and what strategies can you use to overcome the harm?
-
What effect do parasocial relationships have on your mental health?
-
Social media, misinformation, and disinformation – 42:17
-
How do the algorithms used by social media lead to drastically different perceptions of who you know and the world around you?
-
What can we do to guard our own mental health as well as the people we care about who aren’t aware of the dangers of social media use?
The simplest way to prevent the harm done to us by social media use is to stop using social media altogether. But that’s easier said than done for many people, so what can you do if eliminating social media from your life isn’t feasible?
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
You Are What You Click by Brian Primack
Brian Primack’s website
You Are What You Click Personality Quiz
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover changing ourselves and others with Peter Bregman. Peter blends his deep expertise in business, leadership, and people to deliver quantifiable results in business, professional, and personal development, and is the bestselling author and contributor of over 18 books, including his newest book, You CAN Change Other People: The Four Steps to Help Your Colleagues, Employees—Even Family—Up Their Game.
Changing other people is not easy, but there are steps we can take to make positive changes in other peoples’ lives and do so in a high value cooperative way, so why do people resist change so much, what are the four things anyone needs before they will change, and how do approach people about making a change without coming across as the critic or the bad guy?
What to Listen For
-
Why do we struggle so much trying to change people – 1:53
-
Why do we readily accept changes we make for ourselves but strongly resist changes that other people try to make for us?
- What is the most important skill you can develop as a leader in your organization?
-
What are the misconceptions we have about changing ourselves and people around us?
-
The 4 things people need before they’ll change – 8:30
- What gets in the way of people making changes in their lives and how can we help them make the changes they want?
-
What emotion do we experience that makes it so much harder for us to change?
-
Strategies to manage emotions in high pressure situations – 30:31
-
How do you approach helping people improve themselves so you are viewed as a friend or ally rather than the enemy?
-
Indicators of a thorough plan for implementing change – 46:13
- What can you do to implement change in your organization if you are not yet in an official leadership position?
Changing other people is not easy, and that’s a good thing. If it were easy to change other people, that would make it easy for other people to change you. As individuals, we cherish our autonomy. We value our ability to be ourselves and resist the changes other people want us to make. With that said, none of us is perfect and we all have areas in our lives that could be improved and make our lives better. But in order for us to be open to allowing other people to help change us, there are four things we need. Once we have all four, we can come up with a plan and be held accountable by someone other than ourselves.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
You Can Change Other People by Peter Bregman
Bregman Partners website
Peter Bregman on LinkedIn
Peter Bregman on Twitter
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover toxic relationships with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.
Toxic relationships can suck the joy and satisfaction out of our lives, so what can you do to recognize the toxic relationships in your life, what can you do to remove them, and what traits should you look for when bringing new people into your life?
What to Listen For
-
What makes a toxic person toxic – 0:00
-
What one question can you ask yourself to determine if someone in your life is toxic?
-
What situations draw out toxic people in our lives and how can we recognize them when they show themselves?
-
Identifying toxic people in your life – 11:49
- What simple methods can you use to identify toxic relationships in your life?
- How can your own self-awareness help you recognize why you are surrounding yourself with certain people?
-
What can you do to support friends and family who have different values than you?
-
The 7 signs of toxic people – 22:44
-
What are the 3 ways toxic people will try to control you and stop you from pursuing your goals?
-
What are 4 ways your generosity can be taken advantage of by toxic individuals?
-
The 3 high value traits of non-toxic people – 51:03
-
What traits should you look for in potential friends and professional connections?
-
Removing toxic people from your life – 54:54
- What are 5 ways to remove toxic people from your life?
Loneliness and toxic relationships have been on the rise over the last couple of decades. But what does it mean for a relationship to be toxic? The easiest way is to ask yourself, “Is this person taking away happiness or purpose from my life?” Now, no one is perfect so there might be moments when you feel that way about a person, but if you feel that way consistently about someone, it’s time to see if their behavior is on our list of 7 traits of toxic people and then determine how you want to handle it.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
The 7 Signs of Toxic People (Cheat Sheet)
Michael Herold’s TEDx Talk
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
In today’s episode, we cover anxiety with Dr Wendy Suzuki. Dr Suzuki is a professor of neural science and psychology at the New York University’s Center for Neural Science, and the author of “Healthy Brain, Happy Life: A Personal Program to to Activate Your Brain and Do Everything Better” and her newest book, “Good Anxiety: Harnessing the Power of the Most Misunderstood Emotion.”
Anxiety is typically something we try to avoid, but why do we avoid it, what does science tell us about anxiety, and how can we use anxiety to our advantage?
What to Listen For
-
Introduction – 2:35
-
What is good anxiety and how do you recognize when anxiety is good or bad for you?
- How do you recognize when the anxiety you’re experiencing is bad enough that you should seek help?
-
What behaviors might you be exhibiting that make your anxiety worse?
-
Relationships and their impact on our anxiety – 11:32
- How do your relationships impact your anxiety and what can you do to mitigate that impact?
- What simple exercise can you do anywhere to get a handle on your everyday anxiety?
-
How can you use small rituals and habits to stop your anxiety from ruining your daily activities and responsibilities?
-
Conquering anxiety – 27:12
-
What can you do if your anxiety is stopping you from falling asleep at night?
-
What simple mental exercises can you use to diffuse your anxiety so it doesn’t have such a strong influence on your life?
-
How can you prepare for social events so your anxiety doesn’t ruin the event for you?
-
Managing anxiety in loved ones – 39:30
-
What can you do as parents if you are concerned about anxiety in your children?
-
What do many of us do to make our anxiety worse when we believe it’s actually making our anxiety better?
We tend to place anxiety into a category of emotions we try to avoid. While you can experience anxiety that is so bad it warrants professional help, the anxiety most of us deal with on a daily basis can be embraced for what it can teach us about ourselves and the people around us. If you want to better manage your anxiety, start by looking at it from a place of curiosity and creativity. Next time you’re experiencing anxiety, take a moment to ask yourself where the anxiety is coming from. The more you can look at your anxiety objectively, the faster it will subside and be manageable.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.
Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalogue when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!
Resources from this Episode
Dr Wendy Suzuki’s website
Good Anxiety: Harnessing the Power of the Most Misunderstood Emotion
Healthy Brain, Happy Life: A Personal Program to to Activate Your Brain and Do Everything Better
Dr Wendy Suzuki on Twitter
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover influence with Professor Vanessa Bohns. Vanessa is a social psychologist, an award-winning researcher and teacher, and a professor of organizational behavior at Cornell University.
We all have the ability to influence those around us to some degree, so what can you do to understand your influence, grow your influence, and use your influence to help you achieve your goals?
What to Listen For
-
Intro and Vanessa’s origin story – 0:00
-
What do many of us get wrong about our influence over others, the perception others have of us, and how much other people actually like us?
- Why do we always feel like everyone is watching when we feel embarrassed?
-
What is the spotlight effect?
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How to start recognizing your influence – 13:34
- What can you do to overcome the limiting beliefs you might have about how much influence you actually have?
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What can you do as an introvert to feel confident and comfortable in situations where you know it’s going to be uncomfortable?
-
Being more genuine during the chaos of cancel culture – 24:30
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What can we do to be more comfortable being genuine when people are scared to say the wrong thing?
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What can we do to counter those who want to use their power and influence against us if we are trying to be more open and trusting of others?
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What can you do to overcome your fear of rejection?
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Learning to say no – 36:16
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How do you learn to say no to someone who is in a position of power or authority over you?
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Our common misconceptions about influence – 44:25
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Why and how do we underestimate the compounding effect of our individual influence outside of the people we interact with directly?
-
How do we view our influence compared to how our influence actually works on people around us?
We often underestimate the impact we have on the people around us because of our misconceptions about how influence works. We get caught up in thinking influence is our ability to directly influence a person’s actions with our words, but in reality we influence the people around us in small amounts over extended periods of time.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
You Have More Influence Than You Think by Vanessa Bohns
Vannesa Bohns’s website
Vanessa Bohns on Twitter
The invisibility cloak illusion: People (incorrectly) believe they observe others more than others observe them
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover anger management with Dr. Isabelle Leboeuf and Chris Fraser. Dr. Leboeuf integrates hypnotherapy, cognitive behavioural therapy, and compassion-focused therapy in her private practice in the North of France. Chris has been helping children, individuals, and families to be the best versions of themselves for over 25 years, and co-authored the book Freedom: How Teens Can Use Mindful Compassion to Thrive in a Chaotic World and Grow a Purpose-driven Life.
Anger is an emotion we all experience throughout life, but how we respond to it makes all the difference in the world, so what even is anger, how should we look at it, and what are some healthy strategies for dealing with intense emotions like anger?
What to Listen For
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Relationship between self-compassion and anger – 2:06
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Is there a difference between the anger we feel toward others versus the anger we feel toward ourselves?
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Healthy strategies to process and work through anger – 11:00
- What exercises should you use to work through anger and what should you avoid doing when you’re angry?
- What is the difference between compassion and self-compassion?
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What three words can you tell yourself to alleviate strong feelings of anger or frustration you’re experiencing?
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Is self-compassion just being easy on yourself? – 20:25
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What are the three components of self-compassion?
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Defining and discovering core values – 29:00
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How can you use negative and positive emotions to help you figure out what your core values are?
-
Learning from compassion-focused therapy – 35:18
- What can you learn from compassion-focused therapy to equip you with the tools to better handle intense emotional states so you don’t do something in the moment that you’ll regret?
A full human life is arguably one in which you experience the entire spectrum of human emotions, positive and negative. Negative in this case can be interpreted as the opposite of what we think of as positive emotions, but it doesn’t mean a negative emotion is bad or should be avoided. As a society, we generally look down on or seek to avoid negative emotions such as anger and frustration, which can then lead us to not teach kids how to properly manage their anger. And a lack of anger management within an entire population will spell disaster for an entire generation that is not equipped to process and deal with their emotions in a healthy manner.
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Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Freedom: How Teens Can Use Mindful Compassion to Thrive in a Chaotic World and Grow a Purpose-driven Life by Chris Fraser
Dr. Isabelle’s website
Compassionate Mind Collaborative website
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover focus and attention with Dr. Amishi Jha. Dr. Amishi Jha received her Ph.D. from the University of California–Davis, is a professor of psychology at the University of Miami, and is the Cofounder and Director of Contemplative Neuroscience for the Mindfulness Research and Practice Initiative.
It seems like our attention spans are getting shorter every year, but are they really, what can we do to improve our ability to focus, and how do we deal with the countless entities always clawing for our attention everywhere we look?
What to Listen For
-
Introduction and Dr. Amishi’s origin story – 9:00
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How does meditation better equip us to deal with everything that is fighting for our attention in daily life?
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What is attention and why should we care? – 19:24
- What are the three components of attention and how do mindfulness practices influence our ability to pay attention?
- What mindfulness exercise can you start doing now to begin seeing the benefits of meditation?
- Are our attention spans actually getting shorter?
-
How do we use our brain to combat our own lack of attention or focus?
-
The Finder Flashlight Practice for developing focus – 31:20
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What can you do to help your children learn to pay attention and focus?
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What advantages do people with ADD/ADHD have that people without it don’t have?
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Improving focus while living under a lot of stress – 48:50
- What 12-minute exercise can you do on a daily basis to boost your ability to focus, even in high stress, high demand situations and environments?
Our ability to focus on something for an extended period of time is one of the significant differences between humans and other animals. However, like other animals we can easily be distracted and lose that focus. So what can we do in today’s world where everything in our daily lives is fighting for our attention? We can start by meditating (or implementing a similarly effective mindfulness practice) that can help us cultivate a sense of awareness that isn’t so reactive and easily distracted.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Dr. Amishi’s website
Peak Mind: Find Your Focus, Own Your Attention, Invest 12 Minutes a Day
How to Tame Your Wandering Mind (TED Talk by Dr. Amishi)
Dr. Amishi on Twitter
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover networking with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.
Many of us don’t realize there is more to networking than simply showing up to events and introducing, so what kind of preparation should go into networking events, how do you know what value you have to offer those you meet, and how can you use digital platforms to be the super connector no one forgets?
What to Listen For
-
Intro to networking and Coach Michael’s recruitment – 0:00
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What common misconceptions do people have about networking and interacting with people in your network?
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What 3 questions can you ask yourself to prevent you from wasting a life-changing networking opportunity?
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Networking hurdles and overcoming them – 9:50
- What does science say about why so many of us feel uncomfortable about networking and what can we do about it?
- When and where should you avoid networking?
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Why is networking about more than just career development?
-
Social capital and networking – 21:15
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What are the 3 components of social capital and why do you need to know your social capital if you want to network effectively?
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What are the 2 strategies to networking and why do you need a mix of both in order to be successful at networking?
-
Effective networking in the digital era – 34:50
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What tips can you start using today to build an amazing network and connect with people you look up to?
-
Why is it important to know your WHY when it comes to networking?
- What is the best way to introduce two people in your network?
- What are the best practices for following up with people you meet at a networking event (and what should you avoid doing)?
Many of us view networking events as isolated opportunities to meet new people in which you only have the event itself to make new connections. The most effective networkers, however, know that is inefficient because that’s when everyone else is trying to do the same. Great networkers utilize the time before and after the events to start and strengthen new relationships. This can be as easy as messaging the attendees and speakers on LinkedIn before an event letting them know you are looking forward to meeting them and/or hearing their presentations.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Professional Networking Makes People Feel Dirty (HBS Article)
Susan McPherson | Effortlessly Build a World-Class Network by Using These 5 Tips (AOC Podcast Episode)
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover peak performance and burnout with Carey Nieuwhof. Carey is the author of the best selling “Didn't See It Coming: Overcoming the Seven Greatest Challenges That No One Expects and Everyone Experiences” and the host of one of our favorite podcasts, The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast.
Introduction
With all of the pressure to increase output and creativity these days, burn out is a real threat, so what are the warning signs you’re entering a dangerous burn out cycle, how can you avoid it, and how can you improve your skill set without risking burn out?
What to Listen For
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Introduction and Carey’s history with burnout – 2:00
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How do you manage the risks of burnout when building a business or focusing on your career?
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What does it mean to be at your best? – 14:10
- What is one of the biggest myths about building a fulfilling career and life?
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What forms does burnout take and how can you recognize when you need help?
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The stress spiral and how to avoid it – 25:09
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What are the warning signs you are stuck in the destructive stress spiral?
-
What are the three types of energy zones we all have in a day and how do you identify them so you know when to do your best work and when to avoid doing work?
-
Always be working on your gifts and skills – 43:45
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How do world-class performers work to improve their talents and abilities?
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What do many of us allow our lives to be filled with that we should be saying no to?
- What exercise can you use to easily structure your week ahead of time so you don’t end up feeling overwhelmed or burned out?
- Why should you set goals for yourself if you want to learn how to start saying no effortlessly?
If you are feeling burnt out at work, it might have less to do with how much you’re working and more to do with when you’re trying to work. It has been shown that humans have a specific window of peak energy during the day, and if you try to push yourself too far outside of that window, the effects can be detrimental to your productivity as well as your physical and mental health. By structuring your day around your individual peak window, you can revitalize your passion and productivity while easily saying no to work and appointments that don’t serve you.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
At Your Best: How to Get Time, Energy, and Priorities Working in Your Favor by Carey Nieuwhof
Didn't See It Coming: Overcoming the Seven Greatest Challenges That No One Expects and Everyone Experiences by Carey Nieuwhof
The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover finding your life mission and turning it into a business with Brett Hagler. Brett is the CEO and Co-Founder of New Story, a Y Combinator graduate, and a cancer survivor recognized on Forbes’ 30 Under 30 list, named one of the Top 100 Most Intriguing Entrepreneurs by Goldman Sachs, and his company was named among Fast Company’s “Most Innovative Companies in the World” four different times.
It’s no easy task to decide on a life mission, so what can you do figure out what yours is, why is it important to find work you’re passionate about or at least interested in, and how should you handle risk-taking and failure when pursuing a business idea that goes against the grain of mainstream thinking?
What to Listen For
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What is New Story and why should you know about it? – 2:04
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How did Brett Hagler realize solving homelessness is his life mission?
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What can you do to figure out what your life mission is?
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Why you should strive to do work you’re passionate about – 17:05
- What hidden price do we pay for doing work we don’t find interesting or exciting?
- How can 3D printing be used to solve homelessness around the world?
- What’s it like going through Y-Combinator as a non-profit organization?
-
How affordable will 3D-printed houses be and how soon will you be able to buy one?
-
Building a base of loyal customers when starting a business – 33:50
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What can you do to build a genuine connection with your customers when first starting a business that will set you apart from your competitors?
-
How do you overcome self doubt when trying something new or experiencing success for the first time?
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What counterintuitive advice should you think about when starting and scaling a business if you don’t want to lose your best talent to your competition?
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Key strategies for handling failures in business – 47:50
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What are the two ways to approach risk-taking when running a business and why should you avoid one?
-
What are some of New Story’s greatest success stories?
It’s true that the journey to finding your life mission is not easy. But if you want to be successful, it's worth taking the time and effort to find what you are passionate about—or at very least interested in doing. When starting a business for yourself, make sure you properly connect with your customers by providing them high-quality products they can't get anywhere else. And when failure strikes (and it will), use a few key strategies to handle tough times until better days come around again. Remember, "failure is just another word for opportunity."
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Brett Hagler’s website
Brett Hagler on LinkedIn
Brett Hagler on Twitter
Brett Hagler on Instagram
New Story website
New Story on YouTube
New Story on Instagram
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover stress and anxiety with Dr. Jonathan Horowitz. Jonathan Horowitz received his Ph.D. in clinical psychology, and is the CEO and founder of the San Francisco Stress and Anxiety Center where he helps people manage and overcome stress.
Science is showing us that we are dealing with increased levels of stress and anxiety thanks to the pandemic, so what can you do to prevent your stress and anxiety from overwhelming you, how can you prevent burnout, and when do you know it’s time to seek professional help?
What to Listen For
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Dr. Jonathan Horowitz’s origin story – 2:06
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How easily can other people tell when you’re feeling nervous or anxious in a conversation?
- How does perfectionism get in the way of you achieving your goals and what can you do to move past it?
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Can you control whether or not people like you?
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Warning signs you’re not adequately managing stress – 22:40
- What can you do to better manage your stress levels so it doesn’t damage your health and relationships?
- How does stress impact your ability to be creative and an effective problem solver?
-
What can you do to help manage the stress of working from home and not having a clear distinction between home and work?
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Preventing burnout by practicing self-care – 37:56
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What small but meaningful exercises can you do in your daily life to better take care of yourself so you don’t get overwhelmed by stress?
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What should you avoid doing if you don’t want to get overwhelmed by stress?
- How has our social anxiety been impacted by COVID and the lockdown and what can we do about it?
- How do you know when you should see a therapist?
While short periods of stress (like exercise or solving a difficult problem) can provide countless benefits to our physical and mental wellbeing, long periods of chronic stress can have detrimental effects on our minds and bodies. But what can you do about it when it seems like being stressed out is normal? It comes down to small daily habits that any of us can implement in our lives because we all have a few minutes to spare to take better care of ourselves.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Jonathan Horowitz on LinkedIn
San Francisco Stress and Anxiety Center
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover negotiation with Anne-Maartje Oud. Anne is a behavioral advisor, trainer, and the CEO & founder of The Behaviour Company based in Amsterdam.
Your behavior plays an essential role in getting your message across, so what can you do to make sure your message doesn’t get lost, why is emotional validation crucial if you want to be a great leader, and how should you prepare for and handle conflict in the workplace?
What to Listen For
-
The biggest myths about reading body language – 1:30
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What can reading body language tell you about someone and what can it NOT tell you?
- What questions can you ask yourself to find out what external and internal factors might be influencing your body language?
-
What can you do if you are over analyzing your communication to the detriment of your relationships and career?
-
The brain-body connection and how you feel – 18:05
- What are easy ways you can convey trustworthiness in the workplace?
- What changes can you make to boost the effectiveness of your speaking and presentation style through Zoom?
-
What are pacifying behaviors and why do we need to be on the lookout for them when talking to someone or a group of people?
-
The importance of validation in the workplace – 36:46
-
What is emotional validation and why do you need to have a handle on it if you want to be an effective leader?
-
What kind of feedback should you avoid giving if you want to lead your team effectively?
-
DOs and DON'Ts of dealing with conflict in the workplace – 46:30
-
What are the 4 ways people use to deal with conflict and which ways should you avoid if you don’t want to lose your relationships?
- What can you do to prepare yourself emotionally for a difficult conversation or confrontation so you don’t lose your cool when it matters?
- What advice surrounding body language should you avoid at all cost?
A person’s body language communicates a great deal about the person, but it’s not magic. In order to effectively understand body language, it’s important to dispel some of the myths surrounding body language so you know its limits. Body language can give you a glimpse into what a person might be feeling at that moment, but it cannot tell you what they’re thinking.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Anne-Maartje Oud on Twitter
Anne-Maartje Oud on LinkedIn
Art of Charm podcast with Joe Navarro
The Importance of Validation by Joe Navarro, Anne-Maartje Oud
Dangerous Personalities by Joe Navarro
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover negotiation with Dr. Victoria Medvec. Dr. Medvec a master negotiator, Kellogg professor, CEO of Medvec & Associates, and is the author of Negotiate Without Fear: Strategies and Tools to Maximize Your Outcomes.
Negotiating is a part of life, personally and professionally, so how should we be looking at it, how can we remove the fear and anxiety from negotiating, and what strategies can you implement from a professional negotiator to take your negotiating skills to the next level?
What to Listen For
-
Dr. Victoria Medvec’s origin story – 1:35
-
What do great negotiators enjoy about the act of negotiating?
- What are the biggest fears people have about negotiating that prevent them from getting what they deserve and what can you do to overcome those fears?
-
What is the most important element of effective negotiation and how can you use it to overcome your fears of negotiating?
-
Creating win-win negotiation outcomes – 12:59
- How can you think about future negotiations in a way that makes both parties excited about the outcome?
- What questions can you ask in a negotiation to get a better understanding of what the other party is looking to get out of the negotiation?
-
What does it mean to prepare for a negotiation and how can you show the other party during the negotiation that you’ve put in the work ahead of time?
-
Common traps many expert negotiators fall into – 23:07
-
What are the 3 most common traps experienced negotiators fall into and what can you do to avoid falling into those traps?
-
How do you bring creativity into negotiating to ensure both parties walk away from the negotiation with a win?
-
Why are emotion and storytelling important in the art of negotiation?
-
Managing emotions during negotiations – 37:00
-
What 4 steps can you take to manage the emotions during negotiations to prevent them from ruining a deal and making you and/or your company look bad?
- How do you effectively negotiate your salary to get what you deserve while also giving the company a positive outcome?
- How do different generations view negotiation and why is it important?
- What are
We typically associate the word “negotiation” with negotiating a raise or negotiating the price of a car, but in reality just about anything can be negotiated. Unfortunately, many of us never try to negotiate because negotiating seems intimidating, or we just assume the price or cost of something is set in stone. If you want to get what you deserve out of life, no one is going to give it to you, you must be willing to know your worth and ask for it.
A Word From Our Sponsors
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Resources from this Episode
Negotiate Without Fear by Victoria Medvec
Medvec & Associates: Critical Decision and Negotiation Partners website
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AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover charisma with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.
Charisma can make the difference between a fulfilling life and a depressing lonely existence, but what actually is charisma, why is it so powerful, and how can you develop it to bring out the best in you and the people around you?
What to Listen For
-
What is charisma? – 1:10
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How does science define and perceive charisma?
- What is it about charismatic leaders that makes them stand out and what can you learn from them?
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Can charisma be learned?
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The importance of being present – 11:02
- What are the three internal dials you can play with in order to figure out the level of charisma best suited for your personality?
-
What does it mean to be present and why is it important if you want to be charismatic?
-
Turning up your enthusiasm – 26:30
-
What do many people get wrong about enthusiasm and what does it mean to live with more enthusiasm?
-
What simple changes can you make right now to be more enthusiastic in your interactions with other people?
-
What easy steps can you take to increase your enthusiasm and put you in a better mood?
-
Confidence is the key to unlocking your potential – 40:15
-
When is confidence most useful and why do those times also allow you to strengthen your confidence?
Charisma might feel like something a person just has, but like many traits, it can be broken down into easily understood components. Once you understand what those components are, you can then take steps to develop them and allow your personality to shine by being a more charismatic version of yourself.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Charisma: An Ill-Defined and Ill-Measured Gift
Skills vs. Attributes: What Should You Focus On
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover memory improvement and competition with Dr. Johannes Mallow. Johannes is a 2-times World Memory Champion, completed a PhD thesis on the topic of Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), and worked as a researcher and engineer at the University of Magdeburg.
Our ability to recall complex information is one of our defining characteristics as humans, but what do we get wrong about memory, what daily exercises can you perform to improve your memory, and what can you learn about memory from a memory world champion?
What to Listen For
-
Dr. Johannes Mallow’s journey into memory games – 1:46
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What do people enjoy about memory competitions?
- What exercises can you do to train your memory and improve it?
-
How does Dr. Johannes Mallow memorize a deck of cards in 20 seconds?
-
The science of memory vs the sport of memory – 14:35
- What is the brain great at memorizing and how can you use that fact to avoid forgetting important information?
-
How does training for memory sports impact your memory in your day to day life?
-
Simple strategies for memorizing people’s names – 21:39
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What can you do if you find yourself in a high pressure situation and you need to remember something but your mind goes blank?
-
What daily memory exercises can anyone perform to improve it?
-
Most common misconceptions about training memory – 39:06
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Why should we be concerned about developing our memory when we have powerful devices at our fingertips to remember things for us?
-
The secret 2000 year old memory technique – 51:13
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What is the memory palace technique and how can you use it to remember almost anything?
- What is the keyword method and how can you use it to learn new languages?
Your memory is like a muscle. The more you train your ability to recall information, the better you will become at it. Humans have been working to improve their memory for thousands of years and have come up with some great techniques along the way, and if you have five minutes to spare each day, you can improve your memory so you stop forgetting names of people you just met, important upcoming events, and your anniversary!
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Dr. Johannes Mallow’s website
The Caretaker - Everywhere At The End Of Time
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
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In today’s episode, we cover becoming exceptional with Joe Navarro. Joe is a retired FBI special agent and recognized as one of the world’s foremost authorities on reading nonverbal communication. He has co-authored many international best sellers including What Every Body is Saying, The Dictionary of Body Language, Advanced Interviewing Techniques, and his latest one, Be Exceptional: Master the Five Traits That Set Extraordinary People Apart.
Being an exceptional human doesn’t require anything out of the ordinary, but there are a handful of necessary traits to focus on if you want to be exceptional, so what are they and how do you develop them?
What to Listen For
-
What does it mean to be exceptional – 1:53
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Why aren’t we taught how to be exceptional or charming when we’re growing up, and how can we learn to be so today?
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The five traits of exceptional people – 15:21
- What does self-mastery look like in today’s world and why is it important if you want to be exceptional at anything?
- Why is the skill of observation important and what can you do to improve it?
-
What is more important to us than validation and why do we mistake it for seeking perfection?
-
The biggest misconception about giving validation – 38:30
- Can you give validation to someone while also disagreeing with them?
-
How are validation and trust related?
-
Strategies to start divisive conversations on the right foot – 45:02
-
How do you have a productive conversation with someone who is clearly married to an ideology and doesn’t want to listen?
- What simple exercise can you use to better understand yourself and your worldview?
Anyone can be exceptional, but not everyone is willing to understand what it takes and work at it. For example, being observant is a trait of exceptional people according to Joe Navarro, and being observant seems like a rather basic trait, doesn’t it? The problem is most people don’t think about or question what they observe. When most people think they’re being observant, they’re really just noticing something and instantly passing judgement on it.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Joe Navarro’s website
Be Exceptional by Joe Navarro
What Every BODY is Saying by Joe Navarro
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover human connection and networking with Susan McPherson. Susan has 25+ years of experience in marketing, public relations, and sustainability communications, and is the author of The Lost Art of Connecting: The Gather, Ask, Do Method for Building Meaningful Relationships.
As we emerge from lockdown, connecting and reconnecting can feel difficult, so what can you do to set yourself apart, forge lasting connections with those you meet, and reconnect with friends you haven’t spoken to in years?
What to Listen For
-
How lonely and disconnected are we according to science – 3:05
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Why does negativity spread more on the internet than positivity?
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What is the Gather, Ask, Do method and how can you use it to form stronger connections with the people around you?
-
The critical objective of today’s youth in a digital age – 14:38
- What is the power of reciprocity and how can it help you grow an amazing network?
- What questions can you ask if you genuinely want to help the people around you?
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What questions should you avoid at all cost if you sincerely want to help people?
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Tips for introverts to connect better – 28:24
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What is pre-connecting and how can you use it to make networking easier and less stressful while also being more effective as an introvert?
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What should you focus on when meeting people at networking events and what should you NOT focus on?
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What tips can you use to reconnect with people after the pandemic/lockdown?
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The big myths around connecting with others – 44:40
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What simple tips can you use to amplify your effectiveness when meeting people and creating unforgettable first impressions?
- What are the best five follow up tips when networking to make sure your hard work doesn’t go to waste?
Connecting with others is one of the key ways to get ahead. With the tips and strategies in this episode, you’ll create deep connections and your connections will multiply exponentially. Even as an introvert, you can forge lasting relationships and reconnect with old friends you haven’t spoken to in years. Take these lessons from our experts on how to become a force of nature who gets things done effortlessly while creating lifelong bonds along the way!
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
McPherson Strategies website
Susan McPherson on Twitter
Susan McPherson on LinkedIn
The Lost Art of Connecting by Susan McPherson
5 Ways to Listen Better TED Talk by Julian Treasure
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we talk about MeetUp with David Siegel. David is the CEO of MeetUp and the host of the new podcast Keep Connected.
People are feeling lonely now more than ever, so what can you do if you’re feeling lonely, where can you go to meet new friends who share your interests, and what is the cheat code to making new friends anywhere you go?
What to Listen For
- How did the Art of Charm get started using MeetUp? – 2:50
- When creating an account on MeetUp, should you try to join MeetUp groups or create/host your own?
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Why are people suffering from loneliness now more than ever and what can you do about it?
-
The evolution of MeetUp through the pandemic – 10:51
- How did the pandemic affect people’s willingness to meet up using sites like MeetUp?
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Is it a good time to start attending events and MeetUp groups in person yet?
-
Are MeetUp groups welcoming to introverts? – 24:15
- What kinds of MeetUp groups should an introvert attend and avoid?
- Is MeetUp a good tool for professional networking?
- What sports should you look into if you’re interested in trying something new and popular?
-
Can you find MeetUp groups that center around happiness and mental well-being?
-
The cheat code to meeting a lot of people – 43:52
- What are 3 traits of the best organizers on MeetUp?
- How do the best hosts on MeetUp provide great experiences for the attendees?
- What are the 3 steps in giving value that solidify a connection with guests and members who attend your events?
- What are the top 5 best practices in networking can you implement in your next MeetUp event?
In a post-COVID world, people are struggling to figure out ways to be social again and get a handle on the loneliness they experienced during the lockdown. What better way to do both than find a group of likeminded humans on a site like MeetUp? One of the major advantages MeetUp groups/events have for people who aren’t sure how to make friends is that MeetUp self-selects for people who are open to meeting new people. That means people who attend MeetUp groups are going to be friendly, welcoming, and approachable.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
MeetUp
Keep Connected Podcast hosted by MeetUp CEO David Siegel
David Siegel on LinkedIn
David Siegel on Twitter
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover the mastery of sales with Jeb Blount. Jeb is the best-selling author of over 13 books and among the world’s most respected thought leaders on sales, leadership, and customer experience. He helps leaders to develop leadership and coaching skills and shows them how to apply a more effective organizational design and cultivate a high performance sales culture.
Sales is often considered a field for extroverts, so why do world-class salespeople consider introverts to have the greatest potential, what can you do as an introvert to become a great salesperson, and what is the biggest challenge introverts face in sales?
What to Listen For
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How Jeb Blount get started in sales – 1:06
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Can introverts be world-class performers in sales?
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What are the three myths about sales? – 5:35
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What are the five basic questions people ask themselves about you when talking to you?
- What do so many people get wrong about being great at sales?
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What is the greatest gift you can give another human being and why is that gift critical in the world of sales?
-
The one problem introverts have in sales – 9:46
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What are the two types of listening and when should you use each one?
-
What can you do to stop making assumptions? – 23:45
- What is the WAIT acronym and how can you use it to keep yourself in check when interacting with potential customers?
-
Why are moments of silence in conversation so important in sales?
-
Theses traits mean certain failure for people new to sales – 35:00
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What is one of the biggest hurdles entrepreneurs face when starting a business for the first time?
-
What can you do to overcome yesterday’s mistakes every day you wake up?
-
Strategies for handling objections – 46:45
-
What framework can you use for overcoming objections?
-
What is the difference between a good salesperson and a great salesperson?
Introverts aren’t regularly associated with great salesmanship, but as the world evolves, introverts have an edge in sales. People want to be valued and they want to be understood. The more you can listen and ask questions, the better idea you will have about how you can solve their problem.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Jeb Blount’s website
Sales Gravy
Sales EQ by Jeb Blount
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover the fundamentals of sales with Wes Schaeffer. Wes is the creator and owner of The Sales Whisperer, a sales training, marketing and consulting firm with an emphasis on CRM & email marketing software sales, support and optimization.
Sales skills are integral to our daily lives because we are regularly trying to solve problems and get other people to buy into our ideas, so what are the fundamentals of great salesmanship, how can you work to improve your sales skills, and why do you need to be a great listener to be great at sales?
What to Listen For
-
How did Wes Schaeffer get started in sales – 3:00
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Do you need to be an entrepreneur to get the most out of life?
-
How should you think about your day job if you dream of being your own boss one day?
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The biggest misconception about people who are not in sales – 8:10
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Why do we need some degree of sales skills to be successful in all areas of life and what can you do to improve yours?
-
The new ABC’s of sales – 12:35
- What is the difference between influencing, persuading, and manipulating someone?
-
What do great sales people understand about the actual significance of the transaction stage in making a sale?
-
What is the difference between mediocre and great salesmanship? – 24:00
- What mistakes do new people in sales make to shoot themselves in the foot over the long term?
-
What should you be trying to identify when talking to a potential customer that will allow you to determine the perfect product or service to address their needs?
-
The two halves of listening – 33:40
-
Why do people experience beginner's luck?
-
What should you focus on when improving your sales skills?
- What is the difference between education and training?
Anytime you are trying to influence or persuade someone, you are utilizing sales skills. It can be something as simple as convincing your friends where the best place to get dinner is, or persuading your boss to give you a two week extension on a deadline.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Wes Schaeffer's website
The Sales Podcast hosted by Wes Schaeffer
The Sales Whisperer Way by Wes Schaeffer
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover becoming unstoppable with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.
Anyone can develop confidence that makes you unstoppable, but what does it even mean to be unstoppable, what is stopping you from being more confident today, and why does avoiding the process lead to feeling miserable?
What to Listen For
-
Why do most people never become confident? – 3:22
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What is the biggest misconception people have about developing confidence?
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What are the 3 reasons people can’t start being more confident? – 5:30
-
What assumptions do you make about other people that get in the way of developing your confidence?
-
What does a real-world definition of confidence look like?
-
What does it mean to have unstoppable confidence? – 11:00
- How should you start thinking about your thoughts and emotions if you want unstoppable confidence?
-
Why is it dangerous to wait for you to have confidence before taking action?
-
Stop reading books and take action – 18:00
- Why does avoiding your fears make taking action more difficult?
-
Why does reading too much actually cripple your ability to grow and reach your potential?
-
Why does avoiding discomfort cause life to suck? – 25:50
-
Why is it detrimental to your growth to surround yourself with people who avoid fear and who should you surround yourself with?
-
What can you do to start attracting a high-value social circle? – 32:20
-
Why is growth impossible as long as you are in your comfort zone?
-
How do confident people think about fear and anxiety? – 50:45
The path to unstoppable confidence is a simple one. Stop reading books and take action, stop avoiding discomfort in life because avoiding it will cause your life to suck, and attract high-value social circles by thinking about fear and anxiety differently than most people do.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrates your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Become Unstoppable with the Art of Charm
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover digital body language with Erica Dhawan. Erica studied human innovation and collaboration for over 15 years, shared her insights with over 200 audiences around the world, and wrote the new best-selling book, Digital Body Language: How to Build Trust and Connection, No Matter the Distance.
Now that we are working remotely more than ever before, our digital body language is crucial to our success in the workplace, but what is digital body language, how is it different from physical body language, and what can you start doing today to stand out as a leader?
What to Listen For
-
What is digital body language? – 8:09
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Should you be concerned about your background on a Zoom call?
- What should you be concerned about most when you’re on a video call?
-
How is digital body language different from the body language we use when face to face?
-
How do you figure out what norms are acceptable in digital communication? – 13:44
-
What assumptions do we need to stop making when communicating digitally and how are those assumptions eroding at our ability to communicate effectively?
-
What can we do to make sure we’re not misreading messages and emails?
-
What can we do to set clear expectations for digital communication? – 19:55
-
How do we collaborate competently in the digital age when so much time is wasted in unclear communication?
-
What are the four anxiety provoking events in digital communication? – 22:52
- What two questions should you ask yourself when you realize you’re getting stressed out or anxious about a message or email someone sent you?
-
What should you do if you feel like a team member or friend seems disinterested in a group conversation or Zoom call?
-
How do Zoom calls limit the generation of new ideas? – 34:44
-
What can you do to foster team chemistry and help team members work together more effectively without team building activities?
-
What three things can you do to maintain engagement over Zoom calls? – 40:00
- What can you do to be more engaged in meetings if you are the only person on Zoom and everyone else is in a meeting room together?
- What are the best practices for onboarding digital new hires?
- How is our digital body language changing our physical body language? – 54:15
- What ground rules can you incorporate today to set expectations for digital communication?
The digital age has caused an interesting shift in the way we communicate. Our tone and facial expressions are no longer conveyed through words alone, but also in our digital body language. Our digital body language is conveyed through many things including what’s behind you when you’re on a Zoom call, whether you use Slack or email to send a message, and the “tone” of your text messages. Therefore, it’s critical that we set clear expectations for digital communication to keep our teams on track and engaged as studies show up to 4 hours of productivity are lost per week due to unclear communication.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Erica Dhawan’s website
Digital Body Language: How to Build Trust and Connection, No Matter the Distance by Erica Dhawan
The Digital Body Language Expert Course
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover psychological flexibility with Dr. Diana Hill. Diana helps her clients build a values-rich life and unpacks the science of acceptance commitment therapy (ACT) through the cutting-edge podcast Psychologists Off the Clock, online teachings, and her book ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.
Life throws curveballs at us all the time, but if you have psychological flexibility you can be prepared for them—so what is psychological flexibility, why is it detrimental to our health and fulfillment to be psychologically rigid, and how do you start developing psychological flexibility?
What to Listen For
-
Why did Dr. Diana Hill pursue a career in ACT? – 0:00
-
What is psychological flexibility and why is it important for all of us to work on it if we don’t want to be crushed by the events and challenges in our lives?
- What are the 6 processes involved in psychological flexibility and why is it more important to focus on the processes than the resulting outcomes?
-
Why does focusing on goals lead to disappointment in the long run?
-
What makes some of us psychologically rigid? – 4:42
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What areas in your life does psychological rigidity prevent you from being the best version of yourself?
- What can you do to identify the intrinsic values in your life so you can stop relying on future outcomes to bring you fulfillment instead of present processes?
-
What is integrative psychology?
-
What are the downsides of striving? – 15:25
- What is experiential avoidance and how is it linked to unhealthy striving?
-
What is values-based striving?
-
How do you develop self-compassion? – 21:05
- What practices can you start using today to develop self-compassion?
-
Why is self-compassion important if you want to be a top-performer?
-
Why does avoiding pain make life harder? – 36:20
-
How should we look at and deal with pain if trying to avoid it makes life more painful?
-
What are self-stories and how do they limit our ability to perceive the world around us and achieve our potential?
-
What can you do to help kids build psychological flexibility? – 43:58
- Where should parents start if they want to help and encourage their children to build psychological flexibility so they are better able to deal with the challenges they will face in life?
- What value can you expect to get out of the ACT Daily Journal?
What makes you resilient to the ups and downs of life? We all face challenges, but some are more flexible than others. Building psychological flexibility is a lifelong journey that requires self-awareness in your thoughts, emotions, behavior patterns, and relationships with others.
The difference between being psychologically rigid vs. having resilience may seem like an abstract concept—but it can have drastic implications for our health and well-being over time if we're not careful!
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Dr Diana Hill’s website
Psychologists Off the Clock Podcast
ACT DAILY JOURNAL: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover how to develop the confidence and fearlessness of Navy SEALS with Rich Diviney. Rich draws upon 20+ years of experience as a Navy SEAL Officer where he completed more than 13 overseas deployments. Since retirement in early 2017, Rich has worked as a speaker, facilitator, and consultant with the Chapman & Co. Leadership Institute and Simon Sinek Inc.
Anyone can learn a skill, but the same cannot be said for attributes—so what is the difference between skills and attributes, how do you develop the attributes you do have, and how can you identify what your strongest attributes are so you can lean into them and be successful?
What to Listen For
-
Why did Rich Diviney want to be a Navy SEAL - 0:00
-
How did Rich’s SEAL training prepare him for the chaos and uncertainty of the pandemic?
-
Why is it important to train both the mind and body when it comes to developing resilience?
-
How did military life prepare service persons for the pandemic - 11:10
-
What is elemental human behavior and how does it drive you to act the way you do?
-
What can you do to better understand what advice will actually help you and what advice will waste your time?
-
How do you figure out the life best suited for you - 18:04
- What is the difference between skills and attributes and why is one more important in times of stress or uncertainty?
-
What does it take to develop an attribute and can anyone develop any attribute?
-
How can we create opportunities to develop attributes? - 25:24
- How do you know what attributes are worth developing and which ones are a waste of your time?
- What is the difference between narcissism and arrogance, and which one is actually good to have in healthy amounts?
-
If you’re a narcissist, what can you do to mitigate it and keep it in control?
-
What attribute is critical to problem solving? - 36:02
-
How do Navy SEALS face their fears and what can you learn from how they do it?
-
What can you do to develop your courage?
-
Why is it important for everyone to develop their ability to take responsibility?
-
What can you do to develop your confidence? - 48:26
-
How do you define true confidence?
-
What actually is fear and how do we develop the ability to work through it?
- How do Navy SEALS handle uncertainty and how can we apply it to everyday situations?
The world is in need of more individuals who can identify their strengths. If you know your strong points, then it will be much easier for you to find work that matches those talents and skills so that you are able to excel at what makes the most sense for YOU!
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Connect with Rich Diviney on LinkedIn
The Attributes by Rich Diviney
The Attributes Self Assessment Tool
Art of Charm Bootcamp!
Core Confidence Coaching Program
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover small talk and smart talk with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.
If you want to make meaningful connections with people, you have to transition from small talk to smart talk, but what is smart talk, why is vulnerability key, and how do you know what questions to ask?
What to Listen For
-
Small Talk and Smart Talk - 0:00
-
How do you transition from small talk to more meaningful conversations that actually create connections?
-
Why is vulnerability important when selling someone on an idea or solution, and how do you use vulnerability to do it?
-
How to be vulnerable using the cave analogy - 4:30
-
What is the cave analogy and how can you use it to lead a conversation to a strong connection?
- What does it mean to move laterally and vertically in a conversation and why is it detrimental to only move in one direction?
-
How do you know what questions to ask when making small talk?
-
The FORD acronym for making small talk - 10:30
- What four basic ideas can you use to come up with easy questions to start a conversation?
-
What should you do if you find yourself in conversational dead ends, or if the person you’re talking to is giving you short responses?
-
How do talk about yourself in a meaningful way - 19:05
- How do you talk about yourself without coming across as boastful or arrogant?
- Once you connect with someone, how do you deepen that connection?
If you want to make meaningful connections with people, you have to transition from small talk to smart talk. What is the difference between small and smart talk? When we think of small talk, most often it's just a way for us to pass time or fill an awkward silence. Smart talk is about asking the right questions and listening closely to what they have to say. This will help you understand their needs on a deeper level, build stronger relationships with them, and form better connections than if all you did was small talk. But without vulnerability in your interactions, there’s little chance of connecting with someone new or deepening an existing relationship.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
The Art of Charm Small Talk Cheat Sheet
Eavesdropping on Happiness: Well-being is Related to Having Less Small Talk and More Substantive Conversations
The Art of Charm Immersive Bootcamp
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover winning with Tim Grover. Tim is the CEO of ATTACK Athletics, a keynote speaker and consultant to business leaders, athletes (including Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade), and elite achievers, and is the preeminent authority on the science and art of physical and mental dominance and achieving excellence.
Winning is something we all experience in a lifetime, but what does it take to win at winning, how do winners manage their time with everything else they do, and what do you need to do if you want to be the best at what you do?
What to Listen For
-
How did Tim Grover get his start working with Michael Jordan - 0:00
-
How do you build trust with clients when starting out as a trainer or coach?
-
What do elite performers do to manage self-doubt and insecurity, and what can you learn from how they do it?
-
The three categories of winners and their mindsets - 10:54
-
What 3 categories can individuals be broken down into and why will being in 2 of the 3 categories prevent you from being the best at what you do?
- How do you need to approach failure if you want to be a winner?
- What mindset do you need to stay ahead of everyone around you who is also trying to win?
-
Why is it not enough to only know the fundamentals if you want to win?
-
What do you need to look for to make winners keep winning - 24:00
-
What allows people to win when everyone around them can’t?
- How do you coach people through their insecurities so they can come out the other side as winners?
- How do professional winners push through their distractions to stay focused?
-
Where did the Mamba Mentality originate and what did it represent off the court?
-
Develop the focus and time management of champions - 39:42
-
What is the difference between managing your time and managing your focus, and why should you avoid one if you want to be the best at anything?
- What do you need to do to create balance and time in your life?
- What role does selfishness play in winning?
- How do you set boundaries when you’re surrounded by people who want your attention all the time?
Elite performers don’t just have talent and skill. They also use their minds to manage self-doubt, insecurity, and distractions in order to stay focused on the task at hand. And there is no one way that works for everyone. What we can say with certainty about how you need to approach failure if you want to be a winner comes down to this simple but powerful truth: You must see your failures as opportunities for growth—as learning experiences which will help make you better than ever before!
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Tim Grover’s website
Winning: The Unforgiving Race to Greatness by Tim Grover
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover our inner voices and chatter with Dr. Ethan Kross. Ethan is an American experimental psychologist, neuroscientist and writer, who specializes in emotion regulation. He is a professor of psychology and management at the University of Michigan and director of the Emotion & Self Control Laboratory there.
We all have that voice in our heads that can feel out of our control sometimes, but why is it there, how can you use it to build confidence, and how does the world around you influence it in good and bad ways?
What to Listen For
-
Introduction - 0:00
-
Why is it a bad idea to turn inward when you encounter challenges in life, and what should you do instead?
- Why do we have a voice inside our heads that never stops talking?
- How can you use the voice in your head as a tool to strengthen your mental capability?
-
What is the dark side of our inner voice and what can we do to manage it?
-
How do you manage your inner voice - 10:30
-
What can we do to harness the power of our inner voice to help us rather than hold us back and limit our potential for success and happiness?
- How can the people around you be helpful or harmful when it comes to managing your inner voice?
-
What is co-rumination and how can it hinder your ability to see situations clearly and move forward after painful experiences?
-
Tips for nurturing healthy chatter - 40:30
-
Is it possible to silence the chatter in our heads?
- How does digital interaction with one another harm us compared to real face to face interaction?
- What two things should you consider when it comes to social media and your inner voice?
- What is good sleep hygiene and why is it important to get uninterrupted quality rest?
- What can you do to help people who might be struggling but refuse to ask for help?
Developing a healthy relationship with your inner voice can help you build unbreakable confidence and lead effortlessly. You can start by acknowledging it and making room for it in your life, instead of trying to silence or ignore it. Observe it and pay attention to when you’re giving it too much control over what you’re thinking about or feeling. As you do that, be open-minded about the world around you—engaging new people, experiences, and ideas will help broaden your horizons, push your confidence higher, and keep your inner voice in check.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Dr. Ethan Kross’s website
Chatter The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover what it means to work on yourself with Dr. Nicole LePera. She is the creator of the popular Instagram account @the.holistic.psychologist, was educated in clinical psychology at Cornell University and The New School of Social Research, and is the author of the best-selling How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self.
Introduction
It takes a lot of work to go from insight to effecting real long-lasting change, so how do you bridge the gap, why does focusing on the flaws of others hurt your own development, and how does your lack of emotional expressiveness take away from your life satisfaction?
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Introduction - 4:00
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What does it mean to “do the work” when embarking on a path of self-development or healing after trauma?
- Why is it important to bridge the gap between insight and action and why do so many people fail to, leaving them unable to make progress?
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How do you overcome your own resistance to change?
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Detangling trauma from an idealized past - 13:32
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What can you do to identify trauma in your life that is causing you to self-sabotage without even realizing it?
- What are the most common self-sabotaging behaviors people do without realizing it?
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What are trauma bonds and how does it show up in your relationships in destructive ways you might not even realize?
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Your unknown expectations can destroy your relationships - 28:28
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What role do expectations play in trauma bonds influencing our current relationships?
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What do you do when you are ready to make a change but your friends or family aren’t supportive or ready to make changes themselves?
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How should we think about emotions - 37:46
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What steps can you take to start valuing your emotions instead of dismissing them or allowing other people to dismiss them?
- Why is self-compassion important when it comes to “doing the work” and growing into the person you want to be?
- What can you do if you’re an overachiever and feel like you need achievement to feel complete?
- How do you overcome the fear of being who you want to be so you can get out of your own way?
Have you ever felt a fear so strong that it nearly paralyzed you or left you trembling? Maybe the event was a real-life trauma, like being mugged. Or maybe it was something more subtle but equally as debilitating - like walking into an interview for your dream job and feeling all those eyes on you, sizing up who they can't wait to reject. All of these events can have long lasting effects on who you are and who you want to become. But you have to be willing to identify them, work through the effects they’ve had, and get out of your own way to be comfortable expressing who you really are.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 13,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
The Holistic Psychologist Instagram account
How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self by Dr. Nicole LaPera
Dr. Nicole LaPera’s website
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover building stronger connections with Dr. Carole Robin. Carole Robin, Ph.D. was the Dorothy J. King Lecturer in Leadership at Stanford's Graduate School of Business where she helped to further develop the Interpersonal Dynamics Course, and is now the author of the best selling book, Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues.
Technology and the pandemic have changed the landscape of human connection, but how bad is it, what simple tips can you use to improve your ability to connect, and what is the correct way to show vulnerability in the workplace?
What to Listen For
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The damage technology is having on our ability to connect - 0:00
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What experience do we all need as humans and what can you do to give people that experience?
- Why are we losing close connections in our lives and what can we do about it?
- How does social media trap you into a state where you can’t connect with the people around you and what can you do about it?
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What simple tip can you use to deepen any connection?
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Why you need to get comfortable talking about feelings - 9:56
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Why is it detrimental to your relationships to avoid talking about your emotions and feelings?
- What are the benefits of expressing your feelings and how does it help strengthen your relationships?
- Why are “why” questions so challenging when it comes to connecting with someone, and what questions should you ask instead?
- What type of questions can lead to the other person feeling judged?
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What is the signature trait of a successful relationship?
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What does a successful relationship look like? - 31:38
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What are the characteristics of a successful relationship and what can you do to cultivate them in your relationships?
- How has the pandemic affected the way we interact with coworkers and build relationships?
- What 90 second exercise can you implement to strengthen your personal and professional relationships over Zoom?
- How can you be vulnerable without letting your disclosure be used against you?
- What can women do to become better leaders while staying true to themselves?
Technology is changing the landscape of human connection and it's hard to know what will happen next. What you can do now, however, is learn to be vulnerable so that those around you also feel comfortable being open with one another. Without this openness we'll always have a lack of trust which does not bode well for our society at large where social connections are essential.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Connect: Building Exceptional Relationships with Family, Friends, and Colleagues by Dr. Carole Robin
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover small talk with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.
Getting on the question train is one of the most common mistakes people make in conversations without realizing it, but what is it, why does it kill conversations, and how do you avoid getting on it?
What to Listen For
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The pitfalls that lead to one-sided conversations - 0:00
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What is the conversation formula you can use to create engaging conversations in any situation?
- What is the conversation train and why do you want to avoid it when you’re talking to someone?
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Why are people more likely to disclose personal information to strangers than to close friends?
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The conversation formula - 13:20
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What is the best way to start a conversation with someone you don’t know?
- What kind of questions should you avoid when making small talk?
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What is the most important part of a conversation after asking the initial question and why do we often trip up over it?
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What is the question train and how do you avoid it? - 27:20
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Why does an endless series of questions deter people from wanting to talk to you?
- What easy-to-remember visual can you keep in mind when making engaging small talk?
- What are the 3 A’s of value we should be giving to people when we’re speaking to them?
- What is emotional contagion and why is it important to understand when leading a conversation?
Asking questions is a critical part of engaging conversations. But asking too many questions can kill a conversation. A conversation should be a balance between asking questions, listening, and relating. That means after you ask a question, you should be listening to what the other person says, and then responding with a statement that shows you were listening and that you understand what the other person was trying to say. You ask a question, they share, you share, then you can ask another question or preferably, they ask the next question.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Toolbox: Biggest Myth With Small Talk & 3 Mistakes to Avoid
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
Self-Disclosure: An Experimental Analysis of the Transparent Self
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover the idea of mental mess with Dr. Caroline Leaf. Caroline has spent the last 30 years researching the nature of mental health and has helped hundreds of thousands of people learn how to use their mind to detox and grow their brain to succeed in every area of their lives including school, university, and the workplace.
We are all dealing with mental messes in varying degrees, but what is a mental mess, how does your mental mess impact your ability to find happiness and success, and what process can you start using today to clean up your mental mess?
What to Listen For
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What is a mental mess and why is it important to manage? - 0:00
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What is neuroplasticity and how can you take advantage of it on a daily basis to improve the quality of your life?
- What is the difference between the brain and the mind and why do we put so much attention on one at the detriment to the other?
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What can you do to replace your negative thoughts & beliefs with positive, empowering thoughts & beliefs?
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What’s wrong with the way we treat mental health? - 16:27
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How is our current perception of mental health treatment preventing us from making significant progress in our overall mental health and happiness?
- How has the media negatively impacted our mental health and the way we process our mental messes?
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How does your mental health influence the length of your lifespan and what can you do to live a longer, healthier life?
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What is the neurocycle and how can it improve our lives? - 37:15
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What are the 5 steps of the neurocycle and how can you use it to heal grief?
- Why is it important to develop a self-awareness of your mental state?
- How do you prepare yourself for those moments when you know you will feel anxiety or fear so they don’t stop you from achieving success?
Mental health is an important part of everyone’s existence. In the same way we should take regular steps to maintain and improve our physical health, we must do the same for our mental health. If we don’t, then a mental mess builds up over time. This mental mess clouds our thinking, influences our beliefs in a negative manner, and slowly eats away at relationships. Using the neurocycle described by Dr. Caroline Leaf, you can start cleaning up your mental mess and improve your quality of life today.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Dr. Caroline Leaf’s website
Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess by Dr. Caroline Leaf
CLEANING UP THE MENTAL MESS hosted by Dr. Caroline Leaf
Neurocycle App
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover the science of small talk with AJ and Johnny.
Small talk can feel like a chore these days, but why is it important that we make small talk with people throughout the day, how do we make it fun and engaging, and why is it detrimental to our relationships and community to avoid or ignore small talk?
What to Listen For
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The science of small talk and acknowledging others - 0:00
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What are the benefits to making small talk and why does avoiding small talk erode the strength of relationships and community?
- Why do people go to extreme lengths to have their existence acknowledged?
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Why is it detrimental to think of small talk as useless or a waste of time?
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Why is small talk stopping you from being successful - 8:22
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Why do people think small talk is boring and how is that mindset hindering them?
- In what way does small talk satisfy one of our most basic needs as humans?
- How can we use small talk as a jumping off point for engaging conversations?
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What pitfall do we need to avoid when making small talk?
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Why is it so important for us to make small talk - 16:00
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Does small talk require you to be positive and bubbly?
- What is small talk really about?
- What can you do to be more likeable?
- What negative signals are you conveying when you ignore the attempts others make at small talk?
- What one word can you add to make your small talk more fun and conversational?
Small talk is one of our more important tools in initiating engaging conversations. You can make it fun, but at times it can be awkward. That discomfort at the thought of awkward small talk leads people to opt out altogether in the age of smartphone proliferation. It feels much safer to stare at your phone than strike up a conversation with someone you don’t know. Unfortunately, this is leading to a lack of any small talk, even with friends and family. Over time, this leads to a total disconnect within communities as neighbors don’t talk to each other, friends sit on their phones when they’re out to dinner, and families resort to texting rather than calling each other.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Is Efficiency Overrated?: Minimal Social Interactions Lead to Belonging and Positive Affect
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover leadership with Brad Lomenick. Brad is a leadership consultant, speaker, founder of BLINC, and author of The Catalyst Leader and H3 Leadership. He writes about leadership, the next generation, creativity, innovation, social media, teamwork, and personal growth.
Effective leadership is built on a few powerful traits anyone can learn, but what are they, what is the difference between an effective leader and an ineffective one, and what can you do to be an effective leader without being in a leadership position?
What to Listen For
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Brad’s Journey & Strategies for Conquering Burnout - 3:34
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What are the different levels of burnout and what can you do if you’re feeling burnt out?
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What can you do as a leader to encourage your team to hold you accountable for your faults and blindspots?
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The Biggest Leadership Myths & How to Assume Leadership - 9:59
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What are the biggest myths about leadership?
- What are the two types of people who want to be leaders and why is one not cut out for the role?
- What can you do to be a leader if you are regularly jumping from one company to another?
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What can you do to be proactive about being a leader rather than waiting to be recognized as one?
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Ineffective vs Effective Leadership - 21:08
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How does social media identify and highlight the ineffective leaders, placing poor examples of leadership in front of people around the world?
- How can a leader exemplify the hustle mentality and powerful humility?
- How do you build trust with your team when you are brand new and your team doesn’t know you?
It seems as if the loudest “leaders” get the most attention, but getting someone’s attention or drawing an audience do not make someone a leader. The most effective leaders can lead from a place of trust and humility. They get buy-in from those around them by getting to know them and building a genuine relationship. If you want to be an effective leader, you must be willing to listen to the people around you and open up to them so they can connect with you.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Brad Lomenick’s website
H3 Leadership by Brad Lomenick
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover networking as an introvert with Matthew Pollard. Matthew is an internationally-recognized consultant, speaker, author, serial entrepreneur with five multi-million dollar business success stories under his belt, and the author of his newest book The Introvert’s Edge to Networking.
Networking when you’re an introvert can feel like a daunting task, so how do successful introverts do it, what advantages do introverts have when it comes to networking, and what can you do to be unforgettable?
What to Listen For
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Why do introverts make the best networkers? - 0:00
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What is the failing networking strategy many introverts adopt?
- Who are some of the more famous introverts and what can you learn from them?
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What’s the difference between extroverts and introverts when it comes to networking?
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How do you come up with a plan for networking? - 9:20
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What is the best way to get other people interested in what you have to say or sell?
- What is a unified message and why do you need one to grow your network effectively?
- How important is it to be passionate when networking and what can you do to find the passion in what you do?
- What should you lead with when meeting new people to make sure they don’t forget you as quickly as they met you?
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What mindset will set you up for failure in a networking environment and what mindset should you adopt instead?
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How do you excel at networking online? - 36:18
- Why is it more important to have a clear message when networking online than it is offline?
- What are the challenges you face when networking online and what strategies can you use to overcome them?
- What mistaken strategy do introverts tend to use when networking online and how does it lead to burnout and failure?
Networking is typically associated with extroverts but that doesn’t mean introverts can’t be fantastic at it. Networking is all about building connections with people, and since introverts tend to seek deeper connections than extroverts, introverts have an inherent advantage they can leverage. The key for introverts when it comes to networking is to prepare - find out who will be at a networking event and decide who you want to meet. Do some research into what they do and what you might have in common so you can show genuine interest when you meet them instead of struggling through the initial introduction and conversation.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Matthew Pollard’s website
The Introvert’s Edge to Networking by Matthew Pollard
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover the power of music and listening with Panos A. Panay and R. Michael Hendrix. Panay is a Cypress-born entrepreneur and educator, Hendrix is an American graphic designer and entrepreneur, and both are the authors of Two Beats Ahead: What Musical Minds Teach Us About Innovation, featuring interviews with some of the top creative geniuses of our time.
Some of the best music humans create comes from collaborative work between artists, but why is collaboration so important, what should you avoid when collaborating with others on any project, and why is it important to focus on the process of creating something just as much as the end product?
What to Listen For
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The Power of Listening - 0:00
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What is the difference between hearing music and listening to it?
- Why is the silence between notes more important than the notes themselves?
- What creative acts do design and music have in common?
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What are you NOT doing if you feel like you run out of things to talk about in a conversation?
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The Power of Collaboration - 16:45
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What great approaches to collaboration can you use in your life and business to come up with new ideas?
- Why are trust and respect so important when pursuing collaborative opportunities with individuals and groups?
- What is missing from project based learning that can lead to a total failure for the teams working on the projects?
- What can you do if you find yourself on a team with people you don’t like or get along with?
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What conversation are professional organizations and businesses not having and why is it killing the effectiveness of project teams?
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Process Focused vs Outcome Focused - 29:38
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Why is it more important to focus on the process of creating something rather than just the end result?
- How do you work with individuals who refuse to compromise when working on collaborative projects?
- What mistake do many companies make when trying to find collaboration opportunities?
- How do you bring out the individuality in your team members to get the best of the collaboration?
Humans have likely been creating music for as long as we have been around. And the process of making music can teach us about the values that define humanity. The value of not just the notes, but the silence between them - both contribute to the sound of the music we love and hate. Similarly, it’s important for humans to have periods of rest in between periods of effort because in those periods of rest and boredom are when we come up with some of our best ideas. Those periods of rest between intense workouts are when our bodies get stronger. We cannot live fulfilling lives by simply resting all the time nor can we by working all the time. Balance is important in all things.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Two Beats Ahead: What Musical Minds Teach Us About Innovation
Michael Hendrix’s website
Panos A. Panay on Twitter
Sonic Bids
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover superhero therapy with Dr. Janina Scarlet. Dr. Janina Scarlet is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, author, TEDx speaker, and a full-time geek who immigrated to the United States at the age of 12 with her family and later, inspired by the X-Men, developed Superhero Therapy to help patients with anxiety, depression, and PTSD.
Effective therapy can come in many forms but superhero therapy is certainly one of the more interesting approaches we’ve come across - but what is superhero therapy, what can we learn from the heroes and adventures which inspire us, and how can you build an environment conducive to the life you want to lead?
What to Listen For
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Dr. Janina Scarlet’s Origin Story and Using Stories to Heal - 0:00
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How did Dr. Janina Scarlet get started using superhero stories to help patients with the mental health difficulties they’re facing?
- How can we reframe challenges we face using stories and characters in order to overcome them?
- How can you use fiction to gain insight into the challenges you face?
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What is a stress hormone and how does one in particular make it difficult for us to get out of bed in the morning?
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Building a Life that Supports Your Heroic Journey - 17:30
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Why is it important to surround yourself with people who support you on your recovery journey?
- How can we use superhero stories to get our friends and family excited about helping us while also opening up about the challenges they’re facing?
- How do you construct an environment conducive to the life you want to lead and the person you want to become?
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How can you use fictional characters like superheroes to identify your core values in order to guide your decisions to build the life you want?
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What can we learn from our Heroes? - 31:28
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What are the benefits to reading fictional stories and what can we all learn from the heroes of said stories?
- Is it more important to fake confidence until your confident or to be comfortable with your flaws and insecurities?
- What is Dark Agents about and what can it teach us about PTSD?
- What are the biggest misconceptions surrounding PTSD?
- How can you recognize when you or someone you know is struggling with PTSD and what can you do to seek help or get help?
- Can we experience trauma in life without realizing it until years later?
The idea of finding a therapist and going to therapy can feel intimidating even though mental health is becoming less of a taboo subject. But therapy can come in many different forms and some of those forms can feel much more approachable and relatable. Superhero therapy is one because many of us grew up reading comic books and many more got hooked on the superhero movie craze that erupted two decades ago. It’s easy to be inspired by individuals who perform heroic acts yet still experience many of the same insecurities and flaws we normal people go through daily. As a result, the heroes and their stories have an incredible amount they can teach us if we’re willing to pay attention.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Dr. Janina Scarlet’s Website
Superhero Therapy Podcast
Harry Potter Therapy Podcast
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover happiness and positive psychology with Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar. Tal Ben-Shahar taught two of the largest classes in Harvard University’s history, Positive Psychology and The Psychology of Leadership, and now consults and lectures around the world to executives in multinational corporations, the general public, and at-risk populations.
Finding happiness in the chaos of life has been a struggle for many in recent years, but what can be done about it, what role do technology and social media play, and how do we help our children navigate the increasing complexity of this world?
What to Listen For
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Introduction Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar and Happiness - 1:20
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What two groups of people don’t experience painful emotions and why would you not want to be in either group?
- What are the biggest myths surrounding happiness and positive psychology?
- What can 2020 teach us about happiness?
- What are the fundamentals of happiness and what makes them fundamental?
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When is distraction a positive thing to have in our lives and when should we avoid it?
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Building Healthy Habits Around Media Consumption - 10:50
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What healthy habits can you develop around media consumption so you don’t drive your mental health into the ground?
- What are sanity islands and how can you use them to limit screen time and promote moderation?
- What are the benefits of social media use?
- What is the biggest contributor to depression and suicide in teenagers and what can we do about it?
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What are the 3 strategies you can use as a parent to promote healthy mental and emotional growth for your kids in the world of smartphones and social media?
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The Impact of Tech/Media Consumption on Our Daily Lives - 27:00
- Why is it important to be comfortable with boredom and why do we need boredom to come up with our best ideas?
- How does our addiction to stimulation impact our relationships and what can we do to prevent our relationships from collapsing as a result?
- How do we overcome the paradox of choice so we can simply move forward with a choice rather than getting stuck trying to choose something?
- When is it detrimental to our happiness and well-being to have unrealistic expectations and how can you determine when it is ok to have high expectations?
- What is the most powerful gift we can give to people we care about who are suffering?
- What is toxic positivity and is it a legitimate concern in society?
With mental health issues on the rise in modern society, it seems like happiness is taking a back seat to productivity and profit. Younger generations are experiencing spikes in depression and suicide as a direct result of mass adoption of smartphones and social media. The news is constantly bombarding us with fear and tragic events around the world.
What can we do? For one, we can start by limiting our exposure to all the screens in our daily lives. The devices we own and the software on them are all engineered to keep us using them as long as possible. If you want to feel happier, replace screen time with face time, and not the kind of face time that requires a device. Real in-person face time. The same goes for your kids. Children aren’t going to learn social skills by sitting in front of a screen all day.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar’s website
Happiness Studies Academy
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In today’s episode, we cover self-awareness with Dr. Tasha Eurich. Tasha is an organizational psychologist, executive coach, researcher, and New York Times best-selling author of Insight and Bankable Leadership.
Self-awareness is crucial when it comes to understanding ourselves and the people around us, but how do you go about developing it, what are the biggest misconceptions about it, and what can you do to overcome the blind spots in your self-awareness?
What to Listen For
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What is self-awareness? - 2:50
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What are the different types of self-knowledge that make up self-awareness?
- What is the difference between internal and external self-knowledge and why do you need both?
- How does the prevalence of smartphones negatively affect our ability to develop our self-awareness?
- How many people are actually self-aware?
- How do people with self-awareness use social media compared to those without self-awareness?
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Why are Zoom meetings so draining compared to normal meetings?
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Popular Misconceptions Around Self-awareness - 19:55
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What is the biggest myth surrounding introspection and self-awareness?
- What is the most dangerous question we can ask ourselves when trying to develop self-awareness and what question should we ask ourselves instead?
- What kind of journaling should you avoid if you are developing your self-awareness?
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How do you journal in a way that is conducive to self-awareness?
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The 3 Different Types of Blind Spots in Self-awareness - 37:50
- What are the 3 different types of blind spots we have and how can we overcome them?
- Why is it detrimental to your growth if you don’t have a solid feedback loop in your life?
- What strategies can you use with your coworkers, friends, and family to get the feedback you need to grow and succeed?
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What are the 3 building blocks of a self-aware team and why is one more important than the others?
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What can you do to better deal with a lack of self-awareness around you?
To grow and develop as a person, you must be willing to acknowledge faults and weaknesses in yourself so you can work on improving them, or at least know how to compensate for them. You must be willing to accept that the people you interact with can have legitimate criticisms you can learn from because you can’t see your own blindspots until they are pointed out. Developing your self-awareness depends on both because you must not only work to understand yourself but also how your “self” exists in relation to others around you.
A Word From Our Sponsors
Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!
Resources from this Episode
Tasha Eurich’s website
The Future Ready Leader Course by Tasha Eurich
American Icon: Alan Mulally and the Fight to Save Ford Motor Company
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
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In today’s episode, we cover emotional bids with AJ and Johnny.
Understanding emotional bids is the cheat code to building great relationships, but what are they, how do you recognize them, and why does ignoring them lead to the end of relationships?
What to Listen For
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Why are Emotional Bids Important - 2:25
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Why is it so important to your relationships to be able to recognize them?
- How can ignoring your partner’s emotional bids lead to the end of your relationship?
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Why is it important to actively listen for emotional bids when you’re talking to someone?
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What is an Emotional Bid - 16:38
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What is an emotional bid and how do you recognize when someone is trying to get you to connect?
- Why is it more important to pay attention to the emotions behind the words than the words themselves?
- How do you make someone want to text you back?
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What can you do to be unforgettable after one conversation with someone?
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Common Emotional Bids and the 3 Ways to Respond - 27:30
- What is a bid for attention and how should you respond to it?
- What is a bid for emotional support and how should you respond to it?
- What does it mean to turn toward an emotional bid and how can turning away from them or against them cause your relationships to crumble?
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What are the 3 ways we can respond to emotional bids and which one is guaranteed to make your relationship fail?
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How to Use Emotional Bids to Strengthen Relationships - 48:02
- What simple exercise can you use to become aware of emotional bids from the people you interact with on a daily basis?
- How can a lack of awareness of emotional bids lead to divorce and what can you do to be more aware of them in your partner?
Emotional bids are our way of expressing vulnerability without feeling like we’re taking a big risk, so if we can recognize the emotional bids in others, acknowledge them, and respond appropriately by turning toward them, we can make the people we care about feel more comfortable being more vulnerable and connecting with us.
A Word From Our Sponsors
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Resources from this Episode
Why Emotional Connection Makes or Breaks a Relationship (AoC Episode 719)
Turning Toward Emotion (AoC Episode 720)
The Love Lab - Gottman Institute
Art of Charm Emotional Bids Cheat Sheet
X-Factor Accelerator Mentorship
Core Confidence Coaching Program
Check in with AJ and Johnny!
AJ on Instagram
Johnny on Instagram
The Art of Charm on Instagram
The Art of Charm on YouTube
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.