Opinion Havers: Recent Episodes
Tyler Bergstrom
Can't believe Spielberg tried to pull the wool over our eyes into thinking this was a documentary, the man has no shame.
Who spent 46 million dollars on a movie made specifically for Jesuit priests? Oh right it was Hollywood Legend Martin Scorcese
A24 has sold out and made the new best indie horror movie of the millennium, just don't tell Tyler I said so
Well, this is embarrassing, We lost the recording to Resident Evil 4 so how about we all pretend it never happened, deal? Deal.
Oh good heavens they made us go back to Rydell High but nobody we liked from Grease 1 is still here.
Oh man things have escalated yet again and wouldn't you believe John Wick is out here to deal out even more death.
I guarantee this is the only movie to show a close-up of Adam Driver's shoes, you're welcome everyone
Don't even bother listening to this episode, just google videos of chinchillas holding things
Oh, you thought you saw the saddest movie ever? unless it's Blue Valentine you are wrong.
We've all been asking ourselves what Billy Zane would look like in a morph suit, now we finally have the answer
One lesson I'll never forget from this movie, you gotta watch out for the surveillance groupies
Tyler went and did it again, he found a new way to break my brain, enjoy our review of 8 1/2
Do you want more or less mechs in your life? If the answer is yes you should definitely watch this movie on a loop
Good news: we are pleased to announce the cast of the next Batman movie, Jason Bateman, Michael Cera, and Richard Kind are all ready to go.
New public enemy number one is vox.com movie reviews. Join us blindly in this new crusade, also go watch Dune.
Tyler wasted 15 dollars buying this movie all to satisfy Jerry, don't let it be in vain
Get out of your toxic relationship with Game of Thrones, and start a good relationship with Eternals
Aaron Eckhart broods his way through 90 minutes of gargoyles, demons, and magic teapots
Marvel had better deliver the Morris merch, and fast. Morris fans are not a patient people.
oh here we go , we have come full circle on JJ Abrams and we hate him now. We thought he did the best he could but it turns out he did the worst he could. He has betrayed our confidence and our ire will never die.
I need a dramatization of the behind the scenes Rian Johnson v JJ Abrams star wars making of stories
Tim Burton is an absolute mad lad for making the only Sondheim approved musical adaptation, we salute you Tim, this one and only time.
We have now seen Tyler in our mind's eye as Jabba the Hutt and there is no turning back.
We are now officially the first podcast to find a viable solution to cannibalism, you're welcome earth
We did it folks, all the back to the OG. You said we couldn't do it. To all the haters out there saying we didn't know how look at us now, we watched it. You tried to stop us. You hired assassins to take us down and we used the force and said, no no, not today you salty boys.
If you don't know how to eat a sandwich you have no business being on camera as an extra eating a sandwich.
Quick Disclosure, there is about 20 minutes of TV talk at the start of this podcast, so if you don't care about that you may just want to skip ahead to the 20 minute mark for movie talk
You heard it here first, Tyler is throwing his name in the ring for Director of the rebooted trilogy, everyone quick, write a letter to George Lucas pleading his case.
Join us for an episode where sharks are still in 'nados and we may or may not slander the Mets
We can all agree that Charles Manson was a monster, but if Vin Diesel starts a fast and furious cult called the family you know we are all in.
Anakin's greatest force power is winning over Natalie Portman with nothing but death stares and teenage whining.
If you make a fire soundtrack and don't release it o vinyl you have earned my wrath and, by proxy the wrath of our entire fanbase. Come, join me and die on this hill.
We didn't even plan for this to come out on star wars day, but here we are, May the Fourth be With you...Look I know what you're thinking today is not May Fourth, what are they talking about, well we adjusted the schedule and I didn't have time to write a new description. In the annuls of podcast history who will ever realize this didn't come out on May Fourth? Nobody that's who, you'll never catch us. Not even Indiana Jones could unearth this mistake, nay not even Nic Cage could national treasure the truth out of us.
Andrew Stanton is a madman who only ever made one mistake, it's time we set him loose again with a blank check for a super budgeted live action movie
We've all been thinking it so let me just say it, plot is dumb and we don't need it. All we need is big monkee and dino man to fight.
Oh happy day I finally managed to break Tyler with a Cody's corner pick. Rejoice friend and foe alike, we found his limit.
I feel like I am seven years old and ready to annihilate every single throw pillow in my parent's living room. Mortal Kombat is back y'all.
This week on the podcast we watch Pacific Rim, the movie that finally answers the question are plasma cannons or swords better for giant monster fights?
Today is a special day because it is our first fan-requested episode in a long time, our very first guest appearance, and it comes out on 4/20 lol. Happy Birthday Calen I hope you read this.
I'm buckling up for all kinds of Intra Asian politics as a result of this episode. I wanna see East Asia and Southeast Asia really having it out in the comments. I'm ready. I'm even gonna save that gif of the chubby kitty kat eating popcorn to put in the comment section, let's do this!
We survived both of the Into the Woods movies that exist in Into the Woods. Do you like Family movies? How about dark comedy musicals? Do you like them both at the same time? If the answer is no then you will hate this movie but may just love this episode.
New Plan, instead of having directors post their own cuts of movies I say we just let them duke it out. 5 rounds in the octagon, Joss Whedon v Zack Snyder, the winner gets their version of the movie published and the loser has to go to director purgatory and show run the next season of the Bachelor. Why am I not a Hollywood exec this is a way better system?
Quick warning for y'all this episode does contain spoilers for the 2001 movie Evolution. If you have not seen it but do plan on seeing it, you just better watch out cuz somewhere between minute 55 and minute 80 I drop a huge spoiler for that movie. you remember that one? It has the guy from x files and that other guy from remember the titans and there's like aliens or something? Yeah, I saw it when I was 8 and I still to this day think about it from time to time when I peruse the shampoo aisle, anyway I better slow down, or else this description may just throw out spoilers for the 2001 film Evolution.
This week on the podcast we review the classic movie that is in fact the first podcast, My Dinner with Andre.
The Dig taught me most of all that I do not do well with movies that feature a lot of dirt. I am a clean boy who cannot cope with dirty hair, skin, nails, or teeth. I go to the cinema to escape the filthy corner of our dark world. I also don't like camping because I get dirty and I smell like smoke. The first thing I do when I get home from camping is put all my clothes into the wash and take a shower. I mean immediately, within 5 minutes of getting home. I also haven't been camping in 10 years so there's that.
Did you know they made a Robin Hood movie in 2018? Did you also know that Dobermanns were invented in the late 19th century? How do you even make invent a new kind of dog? I can only assume it involves some sort of Frankenstein style lab or at a minimum a build a bear workshop. My sister in law has a dobermann-chihuahua mix, explain that one to me. It's like a dobermann that is the size of a jack russell terrier. His name is Coco and he barks at me anytime I enter the room.
Watch out y'all somebody has hacked the matrix cause we found a Michael Bay film Cody liked. What kind of brave new world are we facing? Is north still up? Is wrong now right? The only way to find out is by listening.
Vindication for our dear Tyler. I've never been more proud of him, nor more mad that this movie lost Best Picture to The Shape of Water.
It's time we addressed a serious issue. I know we usually have a pretty good time and keep it light but I can't hold my tongue any longer. Vurbl refuses to make their mascot a Gerbil. Just think about how wrong that is. Please, join me with the hashtag #VurbltheGerbil we will not stop until our lil buddy Vurbl the Gerbil is on their home page, headphones, bomber jacket, and all. It's Gerbil or bust. 2021 needs this more than anything else. Speak out for hope, speak out for Vurbl the Gerbil. Also, please enjoy our episode on Soul.
This week on the podcast a new segment, Tyler's trash. Heaven help me Tyler is going to unleash his singular taste upon me. You thought you knew everything about Dracula, didn't you? Well, it turns out you have always been and forever will be wrong. What do Transylvanians and Turks have in common? They can both be played by British actors to varying degrees of success. Meet Luke Evans, the Dracula we may not have deserved but we definitely needed.
We're changing the podcast, now it is all about the teeth, celebrity teeth to be specific. What shape are the teeth? Why do they look so different? Are their braces real? We know that these are the questions you, the listener, want to ask and we have the answers.
Such sweet relief after 12 years of waiting I can cross this off of my watchlist. Have you ever just waited for 12 years to do something? It takes a toll. Now I can move on to the next phase of my life on my corgi farm. That's right I'm leaving this podcast behind and going to live in the English countryside just me, my wife, and as many Corgi as can legally live on one piece of land.
I'm not going to put the whole title that's way too much work. I don't get paid by the word. I'm not Charles Dickens. Charles Dickens was paid by the word. That's why his books have fun rants describing cobwebs and other things that don't matter at all. He wrote A Christmas Carol all by his own volition, so it's short and actually good and his best work. So anyway, I'll include the full title if someone pays me to do it Venmo:@Cody-Allen-19.
This movie broke my heart. How could Terry Gilliam have fallen so far and why on earth did Matt Damon and Health Ledger switch characters? We will likely never get the answers we deserve so the least you can do is never watch this movie and save yourself the heartache.
No man is smoother than Pharell. The voice, the hats, the pores. What is his skincare routine like? I can only imagine he bathes in baby tears once a month when there's a full moon. What I wouldn't give to have my tears touch the bosom of our smoothest music aficionado.
Please help settle a debate, is this a Christmas Classic or just a terrible Christmas movie a lot of people watched in theatres? I think it's the latter, but Tyler is wrong and a monster and he must be stopped. Please, someone, anyone help me stop him. His reign of terror must end.
Look, it's not a transformers movie, just think of it that way, and you'll like it. I need people to see it. It's good, you know? Like it's really a very solid film, and it doesn't deserve to be treated like some Bayhem 3 hour explosives demonstration. There is like, zero Mark Wahlberg in this one. Does that help? Please just watch it. Travis Knight and Christina Hodson need us! Will you just abandon them in their hour of need? I say nay, let us be the Bumblebee to their decidedly uncool teenager.
Optimus Prime is not the last knight, I repeat Optimus Prime is not the last knight. This whole franchise, nay the world, has been thrown into utter "Bayhem." I don't even have the heart to reveal who exactly is the last knight here. Just know that my day is ruined and my disappointment is immeasurable.
We got carried away. What do you want me to say? Don't make us watch a 3-hour movie and then be surprised when we spend 2 hours ranting about Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammar, Avatar, George R R Martin, and The Rock's wig in Hercules (2014).
Nothing will ever make me sadder than the loss of Ken Jeong in this movie. I cried. I cried like a lil baby. Tyler cradled me. It was adorable.
Here's what I learned from recording this podcast, the villain's name is the Fallen. It's a terrible name and I'm upset about it. How are you gonna make an ancient robot Sith Lord and give him a name like the Fallen? Roberto Orci, get your act together.
What have we gotten into? How could I ever agree to this? These movies only get longer??? Please, please, someone save me.
If you're going to agree to be a getaway driver please do a good job. No chit chat. No questions. Just waiting til you're most the way in the car then gunning it until the car is out of gas. Someone get ahold of Harriet Dyer and educate her.
This movie has everything: a thirsty grocery delivery boy, adult women in stripey socks, and most importantly a good night kiss.
It's the movie everyone agrees deserved best picture but nobody actually saw. Well here at Opinion Havers we are not hypocrites, we are here to watch the movies you are too afraid to watch.
Listen to Tyler and I exorcise our demons while trying to comprehend anything about this David Lynch classic.
It is time to get your freak on, your deak freak. The Deak has always been nothing but a freak for a nice bulb and a moody shadow. Today we review his second best achievement, 1917.
It may not be a great time to be a nazi but it is a great time to watch a movie about it not being a great time to be a nazi.
It finally happened. Christoper Nolan painted us a full canvas of his mind for our comprehension and it turns out it is beyond us all. We all knew it deep down, but we needed to see it to come to terms with it.
You asked for it so here it is, premium Matthew Lillard content. Everything you wanted to know about the famed actor behind Shaggy-Doo. Also, we touch on a Miyazaki classic. You're welcome, folks.
Science moves forward with or without those people who choose to believe it which is why we are here to tell you the truth about crystals. They work people. Mother Gaia is always speaking and if we would just listen we could all have floating cities. So get off your high horse and invest in our energy crystals today at www.crystalhavers.net use promo code "believer" to get 15% off your first order.
When are we finally going to come to our senses and elect Shia LeBouf as this nation's next president? Get it together people. LeBouf 20204.
Sometimes it's hard to think of a tag for the intro and that is okay. It is okay to just get by sometimes, would you rather we just didn't record? If so please don't tell me because that would hurt my tender feelings.
Sure Jaws was a fun watch, but we needed something refined, critically acclaimed, food for the soul. Of course, that means this episode had to feature Sharknado. Pinkies up chaps, happy shark week!
What, you thought that we would forget about shark week? You thought that I would dishonor the shark lords and be set in the sites of a harpoon mounted great white? Not this year, not again! Happy Shark Week Y'all.
11 Oscar nods. 11 wins. In your face James Cameron! You thought you were special, didn't you? The Kiwis have dethroned you and now you must wallow in your defeat. Their favorite food is white bread rolled with cheese. Look it up, it's called a cheese roll and it's a real thing.
Finally we are reviewing everyone's favorite or least favorite installment of Lord of the Rings. What more could you ask for? There are orcs, elves, dwarves, daddies, salty boys, women in beards, daddies, and trees in common law marriages.
No film has placed more daddies on screen that Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings and we are here to devour every daddy loving moment with you.
Get ready for some head tilting, limb chopping, and egregious troll asphyxiation. It's a movie almost entirely taking place while the main character is supposed to be unconscious so you know it's gonna get wild. Peter Jackson is off his leash and Del Toro is no longer here to catch him.
I had no idea that I had a dragon fetish until this movie. Thank goodness this came along. Cumberbatch's rumbly dragon tones have awakened something deep inside of me and I am ready to make some lifestyle changes. Costumes will be purchased. Caves will be spelunked. Fish and Game regulations will be ignored.
Look, we didn't do this because Ian Holm died, we recorded this and then Ian Holm died. We have been cooking up this cast for a hot minute, it's not our fault he stole our thunder.
How do you feel about Antebellum Dentistry? If you're anything like Tyler and me then you are all for it, that's why we just had to review everyone's favorite 19th-century orthodontia epic, "Django Unchained" We hope you enjoy it as much as we did.
Oh dear sweet heaven is it over? What are we supposed to do now? How was that the last one? You're telling me they only made 24 movies in this franchise? How could they be so lazy? If I were Barbara Brocolli I would crank one of these puppies out every 6 months and the world would be a better place and I would be a sassy British lady.
You better buckle up for our sxiest episode yet. It is about to get real sxual, if you aren't prepared to talk about s*x, then you better skip this one. There will be moans, grunts, squeals, yelps, hollering as well as general lustfulness. We just can't help ourselves when Javier Bardem walks on set.
Hollywood rule number 1, only edit action movies while on massive quantities of cocaine. I would know I have a friend who works in Hollywood. His name is Rob, and he worked on Jumanji: the Next Level. What, you don't believe me? Look it up you coward. Go on the internet and look. I bet you don't even have the internet, do you? You probably don't even know what a quantum processor is. Well, James Bond does, he knows about all the quantum stuff. Quantum capacitors, quantum sunglasses, even quantum of solace, so why don't you go ask him about it and leave me alone? I'm already lonely. So very alone.
Does your James Bond do all his own research? Does he bulk up merely for the pleasing of our lustful gaze? Does he run up stairs and burst through walls? If not, I don't want him. Daniel Craig, take me into the heft of your tan bosom and never let me go.
Hot off the presses folks, the future is wasian. Who can stop a man with both the full support of the North Korean military and the power of white privilege? If anyone can do it, it's Pierce Brosnan in a Jesus beard.
Ready for the smooth mellow sounds of our newest installment, pillow talk? No, you aren't ready. No one is ready! The world isn't ready! The world is not enough! Oh hey, that's the name of the movie. Nailed it.
What do you want out of a James Bond podcast? An in-depth analysis of John Travolta's recent acting credits? Well, you've come to the right place then, cause we go deeper then at least 37 percent of podcasts would ever dare to go.
Like I've been sayin the whole time, the Dalt wasn't here to stay. Now we have Brosnan and he is here to bless us with his puckered lips for the long haul. Say goodbye to your Father's James Bond, say hello to your cool young uncle's James Bond.
Look nerds, the Dalt is here and he is here to stay for the long haul! This ain't your Grandpa's James Bond anymore... this is, like.., your Father's James Bond or something.
That's right, there's a new Bond in town, Jamestown. Dalton, Timmy Dalton is here and ready to seduce some women half his age with the best of 'em.
Want to know what Tyler said that we had to beep out? Well too bad! Those tapes have been burned and their ashes scattered in a really cool lair in a volcano. Furthermore, I won't tell you where the really cool volcano lair is. You can't know and you'll never know!
It really doesn't feel like we're only halfway done with these Bond films. How many more of these are there? Whose idea was this? Nobody asked us to do this. Have we only had 3 Bond actors? Are there still 3 more? Gol darn it all that's only halfway! uuuuuuuuuuughhhhh.
They gave Guy Ritchie a musical. What world do we even live in? Who even am I? How old am I? What's my age again, what my again again? That's about the time she broke up with me No one should take themselves so seriously With many years ahead to fall in line Why would you wish that on me? I never want to act my age What's my age again, what's my age again?
People ask me every day, "What is the best nut?" Well, now I finally have an honest answer. It is indubitably the proud pistachio that reigns supreme! Whether a trap set for a foe or a sweet reward to a beloved henchman it is useful in any situation.
You won't like this move but I'll tell you right now you're wrong and the patriarchy has you in its ivory fangs.
Nick Cage, mason jars full of LSD, and failed musicians. This episodes has it all and more.
A former assassin, known simply as The Bride (Uma Thurman), wakes from a coma four years after her jealous ex-lover Bill (David Carradine) attempts to murder her on her wedding day. Fueled by an insatiable desire for revenge, she vows to get even with every person who contributed to the loss of her unborn child, her entire wedding party, and four years of her life. After devising a hit list, The Bride sets off on her quest, enduring unspeakable injury and unscrupulous enemies.
We're here to try and help you all recover from the traumatic event that was Avengers: Infinity War.
Cody and Tyler discuss Steven Spielberg's newest film about virtual reality in the near future.