The Mrs. Beside: Recent Episodes
Jamia Ponder
Welcome to The Mrs. Beside!
After supporting hubby through Med School, I longed for something to call my own. As a wife, I know first hand ALL that it takes to keep things together. And y’all, ISSALOT!
It’s time to put US back on our To-Do lists. The Mrs. Beside – in title alone – isn’t to tie our identity to our marital status or to define us by what our spouses do. It’s quite the opposite. In fact, it’s to celebrate us and put some RESPECT back on our names. So pick up that crown girl. Shake that dust loose and step into your rightful place.
THIS. IS. ABOUT. AND. FOR. YOU. Finallllllllllllllllly!
We all want to experience deeper levels of pleasure, affection, intimacy and connectivity with our partners right? But often times, SOMETHING is standing in the way. There’s a gap in expectation where and when what we fantasize and what happens in reality just don’t quite match up.
Join me as I chat with Dr. Celeste Holbrook, sexologist and speaker, on the importance of sexual ownership, foreplay, the various types of arousal, porn as entertainment, safe words and MORE! It’s time….grab your partner, RELEASE those inhibitions and LET’S TALK DIRTY! Whew chile….ISSALOT but it’s worth it!
BIODr. Celeste Holbrook is a sexologist and speaker who helps her clients evolve into the women they were created to be, in and outside of the bedroom. She speaks on a variety of topics from sex drive and sexual shame to painful intercourse, purity culture and more. Her mission is to provide safe spaces for people to talk about sex. You can find her teaching classes for The Velvet Box or at her website at www.drcelesteholbrook.com. Sign up for a complimentary 30 min discovery call with Dr. Celeste here.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drcelesteholbrook/
Historically women, and more specifically, black women have been taught and expected to be strong. Show up at work - be on at home. Be available emotionally for everyone and to most certainly, click on all cylinders sexually. Give it to him or someone else will!
We have to be courageous. Be seen not heard. Be helpful. Be nurturing. Be self-sacrificing. Voice our opinions but not too loud. Speak up but don’t be aggressive. Be ambitious but not too flashy. Be confident but for heaven's sake, don’t be cocky.
Take care of ourselves but not spend much money and frankly, it’s exhausting. Then you add a history of family unit degradation, generational traumas and a long standing inability to put our faith in anyone but ourselves, and you have a recipe for disaster.
What is vulnerability and what are emotional risks when you’ve never been able to explore that realm? What does it take to truly RE(tire) these thought negative patterns and behaviors and get to a place of full healing? My mom spent so much time molding me to be strong. She knew that one day I would be a wife and Mom; fully aware of the load that her little black daughter would one day have to carry. But what she failed to tell me was that I didn't HAVE TO carry it alone.
Join me as I chat with Chanta Blue, author, speaker and certified sex therapist on RETIRING some of the strength that we were forced to carry. Whew chile….ISSALOT but you are worth it!
The much anticipated part 2 is here!
What dead weight are you carrying? What is the sum total of the trauma impacting your everyday life? Are you aware or merely getting by? Are you living in your truth or suppressing your emotions because being strong is all you know? <--- sadly, this was me.
Married but living in shame. Stuck in a rut. Afraid to show up as my most vulnerable self because I wasn't confident that I was worthy of love!
Most women desire to be connected in every way - physically, emotionally and mentally but more often than not, trauma stands in the way. Unhealed trauma, abuse and shame live and grow in silence. Placed on us at an early age, smoothed over and called strength and swallowed only to resurface in ways out of our control.
Join me as I chat with Amanda White of @therapyforwomen, a licensed Therapist and Trauma Expert, as we gain insight and wisdom on how to break the cycle. IT. STOPS. WITH. YOU! It's time to RE(set) shame and take control over your emotional mind once and for all! #ISSALOT! But you are worth it!
ABOUT AMANDA
Amanda E. White is a licensed professional counselor and yoga teacher. She runs a popular Instagram account @therapyforwomen. She specializes in working with women with trauma and substance use disorders. She owns a private practice in Philadelphia, “Therapy for Women”. Amanda also leads yoga and mental health retreats, using the physical practice of yoga along with the power of group therapy to allow people to break free from patterns that are keeping them stuck. Instagram: @therapyforwomen
Website: Home | Therapy for Women Center
Affordable Therapy Resources:
Talk Space www.try.talkspace.com
Better Help www.betterhelp.com
Open Path Collective https://openpathcollective.org/
Sis, who is your husband sleeping with?
And NO - I do not mean he's cheating! I'm talking about YOU friend! Who is it that he lays down with at night? Is she passive? Aggressive? Docile? Timid? Confident? Is she carrying the weight of her past? Is she experiencing full pleasure?
Or merely dutifully checking the box? <--- sadly enough, this was me.
Married and broken - mom'ing and damaged - existing but not living. Afraid to explore my body because shame encompassed my sexuality.
Most women have an innate need to connect with their partners but more often than not, the emotional need for connectivity is necessary before the physical can transpire. This is especially true where unhealed trauma and shame reside.
But with most men hardwired to be the total opposite - how can we ever find common ground?
Join Jamia as she chats with Kristin Hodson, a licensed Clinical Therapist and Sex Therapist, as we gain insight and wisdom on how to bridge the gap, the benefits of masturbation, unpacking sexual shame, foreplay, sex toys and more.
If you WANT to be physically intimate, communicate your NEEDS and feel UNDERSTOOD, then this is the episode for you!
It's time to RE(set) your emotional mind and take ownership of who your husband is sleeping with - once and for all!
ABOUT KRISTIN Kristin Hodson is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. She is Founder and Executive Director of The Healing Group mental health clinic in Salt Lake City and Co-Author of the book Real Intimacy: A Couples Guide for Genuine, Healthy Sexuality (Cedar Fort 2011). Additionally she works as an adjunct professor teaching human sexuality to master level students working to become Social Workers and founded the Rocky Mountain Sex Summit in an effort to increase sexual health competency in mental health professionals. She has a unique ability to break down the topics of sexuality into easily digestible pieces empowering people to further develop their sexual identity, hone their sexual values, improve their communication around sexuality all with the intention to improve people’s relationships with themselves and others. Kristin is approachable, relatable and has a light sense of humor around health issues that often feel intimidating or heavy. She has been a guest presenter for nationally renowned sex therapist Dr. Gina Ogden and Dr. Tammy Nelson and has contributed to national media outlets including Huffington Post Live, NPR, Women’s Day Magazine and MTV and local outlets including RadioWest, Studio5,The Deseret News, RadioWest, The Salt Lake Tribune, Salt Lake City magazine, various podcasts and local news outlets. Kristin is a Mom of 3 wild things and a partner to her husband Jake living in Salt Lake City, UT. Instagram: @kristinbhodson
Website: https://www.kristinbhodson.com
Welcome to Season 2 of The Mrs. Beside! I am absolutely thrilled to connect with you again and I firmly believe that you are in the right place, at the right time.
The Mrs. Beside was birthed from a place of BROKENNESS and at the behest of a very painful admission. I was stressed out, overworked, unrested and at my wits end. But the truth was, I had contributed to my own misery.
Season 1, every episode began with UN indicating the reverse of an action. We chatted about getting back to the essence of you and answering the Earth shaking question -- who am I? But now in Season 2, every episode will begin with RE - indicating that we are going to do it again- but this time WILL BE DIFFERENT. We’re shifting our mindsets, taking control of our time, owning our sexuality and fine tuning our voices! No more ‘woe it’s me...in 2021, we’re at, “Whoaa it’s you!”
It’s time to put some RESPECT BACK ON OUR NAMES! And it starts with youuuuu because that is the ONLY person you can control. Respect begins within - start by admiring yourself because it directly affects how we treat ourselves and how we allow others to treat us!
Let go of those expectations, both imposed and implied. Take responsibility for where you are so that you can begin to change it.
I know ISSALOT! But you are worth it!
It's time to UNCOVER what made me start this journey to healing, UNEARTH the answers to two of the hardest questions of my life and UNMASK my imperfections.
I started Season 1 off by saying that 'something' happened and I fell apart...but friend, I never said what actually happened. And that ends today! I only ask for grace as I reveal some very tender parts of my story.
Uncovering my issues started with me. It meant beginning a journey to unearthing and mending old wounds starting at the root and unmasking the REAL me; a person I hadn't seen in quite some time. Left with some hard truths, it was time for me to stare at the (wo)man in the mirror and decide to really make a change.
Friends, I have not yet "arrived" - but like I said, I'm still under construction but I'm getting better. I know ISSALOT but you, my dear, are so worth it!
Love you to life,
J 💕
There have been lots of times where we have been in places, situations, scenarios and facing decisions that were just plain unexpected. And today’s guest, Brittanie Hazzard-Bigby is no different. As I wrap up Season 1, I get the unique chance to chat with Brittanie, a 4th year Medical Student, wife and fur mama about her uncommon journey to medicine. Tune in as we discuss how they balance being married while living apart, communicating expectations and how she has been able to keep it all together while being thrown the UNEXPECTED! Her motto is, ‘a delay is not a denial; each step is a necessary part of the amazingly beautiful adventure we call life.” Whew chile...Issalot but it’s worth it!
Bio:
Brittanie D. Hazzard Bigby, a Houston, TX native, earned her BS in Education from Baylor University and her MPH in Health Promotion and Behavior Science from the University of Texas School of Public Health and will be, officially, Dr. Hazzard Bigby in 2021. When she isn’t engulfed in her academic coursework or advocating for clean beauty as a Beautycounter consultant, Brittanie enjoys creating memories with her husband, Justin; learning a new skill, with guitar being her favorite, or indulging in a little rest and relaxation. Brittanie’s motto is “Delay is not denial; each step is a necessary part of the amazingly beautiful adventure we call life.”
LINKS MENTIONED
Instagram - @Brittanie.HB
Beauty Counter - https://www.beautycounter.com/brittaniehazzardbigby
Unfamiliar with Valdene Mark #12
In today’s times, much of what we are now experiencing can be defined as uncharted territory. Politics are in high drive, we are in the midst of a worldwide pandemic and black America is in a state of national emergency. Ok, so racial inequities aren’t new but more and more people are faced with the hard truth that most things are out of our control. Yet somehow, we have to navigate this so-called ‘new-norm’. In this episode, I get the chance to chat with Valdene Mark, a Vincentian Author, Wife and Mom who tells all in this captivating story where apple pie meets sugar apple! Tune in as we discuss interracial marriage, immigration, cultural differences, raising kids and how they navigate life in a very black and white world while conquering the UNFAMILIAR. Whew chile...Issalot but it’s worth it!
Bio:
Vincentian author Valdene Mark founded Sugar Apple Books to create diverse children's books aimed at early readers. She takes inspiration from her Caribbean childhood, focusing her stories on promoting resilience and encouraging children to use the power of imagination to navigate their feelings. Valdene hopes that her books can bring joy, help children to overcome their fears, and share a love of literature with young readers all around the world. Valdene lives in Providence, Rhode Island, with her husband and two children.
Links Mentioned:
Sugar Apple Books
https://sugarapplebooks.com
Jade Braves the Dark - by Valdene Mark
https://sugarapplebooks.com/books/p/in-the-dark-hardcover
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sugarapplebooks/
Unloved with Joyce Bass #11
Love is patient. It is kind. It does not envy and it keeps no record of wrong. It does not boast and it is not proud. Love is powerful. But in the hands of an impure heart, love can tear down. It can belittle, cause immense damage, abuse and create a cyclic pattern of isolation and codependency. In this power packed episode, I chat with Joyce Bass who has had both experiences. Married twice in two different ways. One wore her down; the other built her up and thrust her into a place of purpose. Tune in as we discuss the dichotomy between her married experiences, reminders of self-worth and how she overcame being UNLOVED. This episode is one you will not want to miss! Whew chile...Issalot but you’re worth it!
LINKS MENTIONED
Cameron’s Corner
https://www.facebook.com/camcorner13/
Unbalanced with Lara McElderry
When was the last time that you felt the scales were tipped in YOUR favor? Not recently? Not often? Yeah...us either. Lara McElderry is a veteran Mom, Wife, Business Owner, Coach, and a successful Podcast Host. As a Coach, she has not only poured into me but also pours into the lives of countless medical spouses annually. With a busy Trauma Surgeon for a husband and 5 boys in tow, Lara knows all about feeling UNBALANCED. Tune in as we talk about doing the necessary, mom guilt, the power of NO, relationship tips and how to shift our thinking for a healthier us. This is an episode you won’t want to miss!
LINKS MENTIONED
Married to Doctors
www.marriedtodoctors.com
Bio:
Lara McElderry studied Family and Consumer Science and graduated from the University of Arkansas with a Masters Degree in Teaching. She has worked with youth and adults and has a strong interest in family dynamics. Lara has been navigating the medical world for the last seventeen years as she has supported her husband through medical school, residency, a specialty change, fellowship, as well as raising five boys. She is the founder and podcast host of Married To Doctors. Her show is an interview-based weekly podcast. Spouses of physicians share their stories and experts share advice as Lara leads a discussion asking personal and hard questions that explore the joys and challenges of being Married to Doctors.
Unpredictable with Allie Marshall #9
Life is full of unforeseen obstacles and today’s guest, Allie Marshall, is no stranger to the unimaginable. Join us as we chat about her amazing journey and just how much they had to overcome. Her husband always dreamed of becoming a Physician but when his dreams did not perfectly match their reality, it was Allie who stepped in and encouraged him to press on. Even through a medical and environmental crisis, Allie managed to prioritize herself and turn passion into profit. Tune in as we talk about staying the course and facing hard truths when things are just flat out UNPREDICTABLE. #Issalot but you’re worth it!
LINKS MENTIONED
Sew Worth It Designs
https://www.instagram.com/sewworthitdesigns/
https://www.etsy.com/shop/sewworthitdesigns
https://www.facebook.com/Sew-Worth-It-Designs-472338696486043/
My guest today, Jennifer Stephenson Prioleau, is all too familiar with the million mile an hour lifestyle. But like most of us, life taught her to slow down and just what can happen when/if you don't! Join us as we dismiss the notion that self care is selfish, relieve ourselves of self-imposed expectations and UNWIND. It’s too much pressure to try to get it all done in a day. Tune is as we discuss asking for help, enlisting our children to pitch in and prioritizing what matters most to you. Identify your non-negotiables and slide the rest to the side. It’ll still be there tomorrow! You do not run on batteries and you need rest. So take the time. #Issalot but you’re worth it!
Bio: Jennifer Stephenson Prioleau lives in Maryland with her husband and three children. Her husband is a PCOM graduate and Family Medicine Resident Physician. She graduated from Tuskegee University and University of Maryland Baltimore. Jennifer is a social worker and mental health therapist at an outpatient mental health clinic in West Baltimore. She also a health and wellness coach for Steps Coaching and is interested in coaching physician families. She enjoys bird watching, walks with her family, photography, painting, playing the flute, and reading. Her favorite colors are navy blue and yellow.
LINKS MENTIONED
Steps Coaching Facebook Page
www.facebook.com/stepscoaching2019/
Warning - Listener Discretion is Advised
This was one of the realest conversations for my podcast yet! Two moms talk straight and completely UNCENSORED. My guest today, Jennifer McDade, mastered life and had a flourishing career BEFORE marriage but was faced with the tough decision to set it all aside to start a family with the man of her dreams. And boy does some serious wisdom to share with us. Listen in as we chat about getting lost in the rat race of parenting and being a spouse, tailoring your parenting for each child, and what we’re teaching our kids by what we model for them every day.
This is an episode you won’t want to miss!
What we’re talking about
- Prioritizing You!
- Tailoring Your Parenting For Each Child
- Teaching Our Kids By Our Actions Every Day
Getting Lost In the Rat Race
As a new spouse, Jennifer decided to retire from teaching. It was a struggle, but a decision she wanted to make so they could have a family. It wasn’t long before they had three children and she didn’t recognize herself anymore. Then she had guilt about trying to find herself! Mom guilt is real, y’all. What we don’t realize though, is that most of the time we unknowingly bring it on ourselves. We’re talking about the slippery slope of doing so much for others that we lose ourselves, and how we have clawed our way back out of that habit, while becoming the best version of ourselves for our families.
Tailoring Your Parenting For Each Child
As we talked about being authentic to ourselves, we dove into how each of our kids is so different from one another, and how parenting them all the same just doesn’t work. Celebrating each of them for their individuality may seem more difficult on the surface, but, in reality, it makes our lives a bit calmer because each feels seen and recognized for who they truly are. It’s an offshoot of the lesson of being authentic to yourself.
Teaching Our Kids By Our Actions Every Day
We all want our children to somehow absorb all the things we expect of them and would like to teach them. But what we don’t always realize is that we are teaching them more than we know by our own behavior and what we say. We are their teachers 24/7, whether we acknowledge it or not. Jennifer and I chatted more about not only being authentic for ourselves, but for our children. It’s when we are the best version of ourselves that we can be the best spouse for our partner, the best parent for our children, and the best friend to others.
Are you being authentic with yourself and others?
TIMESTAMPS
- 9:10 -9:57 (47 sec JP & JM) To some degree people struggle with...me being authentic to myself.
- 13:53 - 14:25 (32 sec JM) You have to be who you are regardless...simple to say, but it really doesn’t.
- 17:15 - 18:00 (45 sec JP & JM) One of the things that I try to do as much as possible...as opposed to celebrating who they are.
- 22:37 - 23:01 (24 sec JP) I had an entire meltdown in this house...where nobody had to think about anything.
- 27:47 - 28:22 (35 sec JP) My point is, for those of you that are listening...something else will always take that time.
- 28:50 - 29:16 (26 sec JM) My kids seem to enjoy when I’m enjoying myself...for whatever it is, I do that.
QUOTES
- Being a mother is the hardest, and most rewarding job, that one can ever have. - JP
- People see the stay at home mom as the kept woman. - JM
- It’s not how I say it. It’s what I say. The content is not going to change. - JM
- You have to do what makes life good for you, and whatever that means, it has to be on your terms. You can’t let society dictate that for you. - JM
- It’s about, in each phase of your life, maximizing the joy in it. - JP
- If you always live your life trying to please people, you will be exhausted and very unhappy. - JP
- Be authentic to yourself. - JM
- We can define our children without knowing that’s what we’re doing. - JM
- Your children’s accomplishments don’t define you as a person. You can’t use their accomplishments as validation. - JP
- I lost myself in the rat race of motherhood and being a spouse, and then I had the nerve to feel guilty for trying to find myself. - JM
- That mom guilt is really real. - JP
- Get those kids to help you! - JP
- I need to be the best version of me, so I can be the best mother, the best wife, the best daughter, etc., and it all starts with being the best me. - JM
Unafraid with Ashley Bailey #6
My latest guest, Ashley Bailey, is no stranger to the medical world. She originally wanted to become a doctor, but decided the reality of a medical career didn’t merge with what she wanted, so she went into the corporate side of healthcare instead. As the wife of a physician, Ashley drops some truth and tips on how to meet new friends during residency, how to take turns prioritizing dual careers, and some of the sacrifices that accompany such a face-paced and demanding career as I talk with her today.
Getting through residency in a new place can be exciting and fun!
What we’re talking about
- Meeting New Friends During Residency
- Build Your Community - For Right Now and/or Forever
- How to Prioritize Your Career AND Your Spouse’s
- Sacrifices of a Career in Medicine
Meeting New Friends During Residency
Residency is a notoriously tough time for everyone in the family, but it doesn’t have to be all about missing some of your old favorite hang outs and besties. Ashley and I are talking about methods to meet some new friends, find out about hot spots in your new area, and how to dive into the new culture like a local. Having been through the residency period, and come out on the other side with some good friends and great memories, Ashley is dishing on how she did it.
How to Prioritize Your Career AND Your Spouse’s
Your spouse is a medical student or physician, and the amount of commitment it demands tends to make their career a priority. Your career is no less important, you’ve worked hard, and you’d like to see the fruits of your labor. There are ways to launch your own career into orbit, even when your partner’s career seems to dictate the day to day rhythm of your life. We’re diving into how Ashley has carved out a career in corporate healthcare despite moving for residency and the challenges of her husband’s job.
Sacrifices of a Career in Medicine
Although a career in medicine can carry some prestige, it also brings along a lot of sacrifices and challenges. From reorganizing holidays, to missing family get-togethers completely, and others. It’s nice to know you’re not alone. We’re sharing a couple ways that our families have gotten around the demands while still enjoying some of the things that bring us joy.
LINKS MENTIONED
Ashley’s Website: Tennis Shoes & Tiaras
https://tennisshoesandtiaras.com/about/
Ashley Bailey’s Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/tennisshoesandtiaras/
Unrestricted with Victoria Virgo-Levy
I’m so excited to share my conversation with Victoria Virgo-Levy with you today! We really got to dive in to what the realities are of being married to a doctor, pageant life and how to chase your goals unrestricted! We’re even sharing a few things couples “must do” that can help to keep your relationship on track when medical school demands most of your spouse’s time.
We’re sharing the real deal of what it’s like being married to a physician!
What we’re talking about
- Growing Up To Be A Doctor
- Challenges of Being Married to a Medical Student
- Pageantry Life
Growing Up To Be A Doctor
Growing up in the Caribbean, from the time you’re very young, adults will often anticipate which career field you’ll enter when you become an adult. For Victoria Virgo-Levy that was a career in medicine. After completing her degree in Biology, she ended up in medicine, but not in the way her family expected. She found her skills met her passion in the real estate industry and has become a successful realtor in New Jersey.
Challenges of Being Married to a Medical Student
Although she chose not to become a physician herself, as life would have it, she married a medical student. Being the wife of a med student comes with its own set of challenges...from having an extremely demanding schedule to carrying the load of debt that comes with medical school. Being married to the love of your life is fulfilling, but there are many myths out there when your spouse happens to be in medicine. I’m discussing one or two of those with Victoria today.
Pageantry Life
Victoria grew up participating in pageants, which had its own sets of benefits and drawbacks. One of the benefits she drew from pageantry was developing the skills of public speaking and interacting with others from a multitude of cultures. I’m discussing the details of pageantry life with Victoria, and how it led to the career path she ended up choosing. Sometimes our best laid plans don’t lead to our originally intended destination.
Is your roadmap leading where you thought it would?
LINKS MENTIONED
Victoria Virgo-Levy’s Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/victoria_virgo/
Victoria Virgo-Levy’s Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/victoria.virgo.9
Victoria Virgo-Levy’s Coldwell Banker Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/VictoriaVirgoSimplyLuxury/
Victoria Virgo-Levy’s Coldwell Banker Website
https://victoriavirgo.cbintouch.com/
TIMESTAMPS
- 2:46 - 3:18 (32 sec VVL) So, when I was a kid...making things happen. I’m really good with that.
- 7:07 - 7:43 (36 sec JP & VVL) How have you helped to keep your marriage...each other, especially our needs and our wants.
QUOTES
- Do whatever that makes you happy. - VVL
- The moment someone hears you’re married to a doctor, and they do not understand the struggle. They look at you sideways thinking that you have it made, and actually you don’t. - VVL
SOCIAL MEDIA TEXT
Facebook Page
- Victoria Virgo-Levy shares with us her journey into medicine, and how it didn’t end up like she expected. Instead of being a physician, she married one, and it comes with some serious demands. We’re discussing the myths of being married to a doctor, and ways to keep your marriage alive despite the challenges on the latest episode of The Mrs. Beside podcast!
Day of
- Victoria Virgo-Levy shares her #journey into a career of being a #realtor, what it’s like being #married to a #doctor, and how #pageantry prepared her for more than just the stage on EP5 of Mrs. Beside’s #Podcast.
- Join me as I talk with Victoria Virgo-Levy about what it’s like being #married to a #physician, and how #pageant life prepared her for her career as a #realtor on EP5 of The Mrs. Beside’s #Podcast.
Next day reminder
- Ever wonder what it’s like being married to a physician? I’m chatting with Victoria Virgo-Levy about the challenges that we encounter when our spouse happens to be a doctor, and ways we keep our marriages alive despite the demands of a medical career on the latest episode of The Mrs. Beside Podcast. Head on over to iTunes and check it out!
Unbothered with Meroë Adeeb Tchomobe #4
Society often attaches a stigma to being married to a physician. Other times, people will assume that because you’re married to a person of prominence, a doctor in this case, you’re living the high life with endless amounts of money. Today we’re talking with Meroë Adeeb Tchomobe, a classically trained soprano opera singer and spouse of a physician. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be married to a doctor, you’re going to get an inside look.
You won’t want to miss the inside scoop!
What we’re talking about
- A Fairytale Love Story While Pursuing Your Dreams
- Dual Prominent Demanding Careers
- Adding a Munchkin To the Mix
A Fairytale Love Story While Pursuing Your Dreams
Meroë and her husband, Ghislain, met on a summer break and fell head over heels in love, but they knew they both were determined to continue with their education and following their dreams. It was then that they made the decision to have a long-distance relationship and support one another even though their dreams took them to different places. They had each worked exceptionally hard to get to where they were, and quitting wasn’t an option.
Dual Prominent Demanding Careers
While Meroë supported her husband in his dream of becoming a doctor, she finished her masters in classical opera training from New York. Once they had both finished their education, Ghislain agreed to sacrifice a bit, and apply to clinical rotation programs that were within driving distance of where Meroë was already living. And, to show her husband the same respect and support he showed her, Meroë has agreed to move to wherever her husband gets the best job offer, showing that you can still support one another while pursuing your prospective careers. We really dove in on the importance of having something for yourself when your spouse is submerged in working toward their dreams as well.
Adding A Munchkin To the Mix
Once they moved in together, they were pleasantly surprised to find out they were adding to their family! Dual careers or not, they were about to add more love, and a lot more logistical dynamics to the mix. And, although, we were originally focused on talking about how to follow your dreams despite a demanding career or being married, we would be remiss if we didn’t talk about these sweet, little blessings, and the complexity they bring to the equation, highlighting the fact that it’s always a balancing act.
LINKS MENTIONED
Meroë Khalia Adeeb Tchomobe’s Instagram
www.instagram.com/meroekhalia
Meroë’s Website
www.meroesings.com
TIMESTAMPS
- 7:09 - 8:06 (57 sec MT) We got married, and only lived together…and vice versa.
- 8:17 - 8:47 (30 sec MT) One of the things we discussed…and we’ll figure it out.
- 14:08 - 14:45 (37 sec) I feel like there are some stigmas…we gonna work it out.
- 21:22 - 21:49 (27 sec) I have an amazing block of neighbors…it can be taxing.
QUOTES
- I’ll support you, and you support me. - MT
- The truth is I bring in money, too. - MT
- The more children you add to any equation, well, one plus one equals lots of Tylenol. - JP
SOCIAL MEDIA TEXT
Facebook Page
- You won’t want to miss the straight talk on what it’s like being married to a physician! Meroë Adeeb Tchomobe joins us to peel back the layers, and show that you can be married to someone with a demanding career, while also pursuing your own on the latest episode of The Mrs. Beside podcast!
Day of
- Meroë Adeeb Tchomobe, a classical #opera singer joins us to dish on what it’s like being #married to a #doctor, and having your own #career on EP4 of Mrs. Beside’s #Podcast.
- Mrs. Meroë Adeeb Tchomobe shares with us how she fell in love, got #married, and continued to pursue her #career in classical #opera while her husband followed his dreams of being a #physician on EP4 of The Mrs. Beside’s #Podcast.
Next day reminder
- Meroë Adeeb Tchomobe pursued her career in classical opera despite the demands and joys that come with being married to a doctor. She lays it all out there about what it’s like being the wife to a physician, and being determined to have a career as well. You won’t want to miss this! Head on over to iTunes and check it out.
Unfiltered with Kirsten Jordan #3
This was such a fun interview, and I can’t wait to share it with you! Kirsten Jordan joins me, and we talk about the different filters that we, as women, use in our everyday lives. Some good and some that keep us from discovering our true selves. It took some difficult trials for Kirsten to dig down to her true self, but it was after she did the hard work that her business took off. We’ll get into the types of filters we use, how filters can look both positive and negative, and how we strip them away to find our true identity.
Are you using filters in your life?
What we’re talking about
- Hide and Seek - The Filters In Your Daily Life
- The Sneaky Side of Filters - Living Up To The Image Society Defines For Us
- Finding Your True Self & Accepting Who You Are
Hide and Seek - The Filters In Your Daily Life
Women go about their day and, most times, are in such a routine that you don’t realize how many things we use as filters each and every day. From clothes, to makeup, to accessories we wear or carry. The list goes on and on. When asked to describe or introduce yourself, many are so immune to the filters we’ve applied to ourselves that we only describe who we are to others, and what we do for a living. Is that you? Is that who you ultimately are when you strip away the layers and see your soul?
The Sneaky Side of Filters - Living Up To The Image Society Defines For Us
Filters such as joining a volunteer organization or charity might appear to be positive things on the outside, but it's important to recognize the root reason for why you’re doing it. Is it because you have a passion for helping those in that community, or is it because it makes you feel better about yourself? We are diving deeper into how we’re using these good and bad filters as a community to help keep up the image that society expects of us.
Finding Your True Self & Accepting Who You Are
Discovering your identity beyond just who you are to others, and what you do for work is a big job. It can absolutely be scary to feel like you’ve bared your soul to the world, but, first, we must be comfortable discovering our own true heart of hearts. This is when we can answer with confidence when we are asked “Tell me about yourself”. It’s ok to not fit inside someone else’s box, but we must own and accept who we are so you can live your best life.
LINKS MENTIONED
Unfiltered Makeup
https://www.unfilteredmebeauty.com/
Unfiltered Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/_unfilteredme_/
Kirsten’s Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/alexanndrajay/
TIMESTAMPS
- 9:48 - 10:17 (29 sec KJ) The reason we go for filters is because...is when it becomes a problem.
- 10:43 - 11:10 (27 sec KJ) The enemy was so divisive...trying to scramble around for everything.
- 12:36 - 13:03 (27 sec KJ) I think there’s a stigma...but what’s my fruit look like?
- 14:19 - 14:56 (37 sec) If you’re too busy trying to keep an image...it causes you to react.
- 23:02 - 23:33 (31 sec KJ) The Lord was like, you need to...and I picked myself up, and I said, “You’re right.”
QUOTES
- Filters don’t always come in the appearance of something bad. Sometimes they can appear like something good. - KJ
- The reason we go toward filters is because unresolved trauma causes us to cling to some types of affirmation, whatever those may be. - KJ
- Everybody wants to be accepted. We want to be loved. We want to be included. - KJ
- I think the body of Christ and women are suffering because we’re holding on to this idea of what perfection looks like. - KJ
- We’re not perfect, and we’re never going to be perfect. - KJ
- Be honest & transparent, and know that there’s triumph in transparency. - KJ
- This podcast was birthed out of a place of brokenness. - JP
- So many times we describe ourselves, or we live behind what we do. - JP
- No, sis, you! You are important! - JP
- How do I communicate, or know what I need, unless I know who I am and the things that bring me joy? - JP
- If you’re not connected in your marriage, it does flow into everything else that happens in your house. Right down to what you’re going to have for dinner. - JP
SOCIAL MEDIA TEXT
Facebook Page
- Kirsten Jordan joins me today to chat about the filters we use in our lives to help us feel more comfortable, and the way they can keep us from knowing, and accepting, our true selves on the latest episode of The Mrs. Beside podcast!
Day of
- Kirsten Jordan joins us to share her #journey to removing the #filters of life, discovering herself, and how it led to launching her #business on EP3 of Mrs. Beside’s #Podcast.
- I’m talking with Kirsten Jordan, creator of her own makeup line, to discuss the #filters we use to hide our true identity, & how she launched her own #business after her #journey of discovering herself on EP3 of The Mrs. Beside’s #Podcast.
Next day reminder
- Kirsten Jordan lays it all on the table today! We are discussing how we use the filters of life to keep from knowing our true identity, and how that affects every aspect of our life on the latest episode of The Mrs. Beside Podcast. Head on over to iTunes and check it out!
SHOW NOTES
#2 Rediscover and Prioritize Yourself As A Woman
Jamia Ponder is THE Mrs. Beside and is taking us on her journey of rediscovering herself after becoming a wife and mother of 3. Today is all about honoring you...who you are without the filters, being yourself, and knowing you’re worthy. Jamia is sharing her tips on prioritizing yourself and how to discover who you are after you’ve become a wife and mother.
It’s time to think about you and finding a few things that spark joy in your life!
What we’re talking about
- Are You Filtering Who You Are?
- Being Your Own Advocate
- Thriving In the Face of Stress
Are You Filtering Who You Are?
Have you ever met someone in real life that you only knew online? Did they look the same as their profile picture? Or were they unrecognizable? How many filters (makeup, hair color, setting, job, children) have they put between you and them to allow you to only see what they want you to see? None of these filters is wrong, per se, but they hide who the true person is. Jamia shares how she surprised one online friend by actually matching her online photo!
Being Your Own Advocate
Whew, girl! This one is a tough one for a lot of women. Jamia explores what it is to be your own advocate, that it’s ok to be unavailable for others, and that you need to put the “out of office” sign up. Being your own advocate is necessary because no one will advocate for you like you will. You need that downtime for you to explore who you are, what you are made of, what your desires are, and what makes you feel fulfilled.
Thriving In the Face of Stress
By peeling back those layers and getting to know yourself, you will not only know what you need to do to set boundaries and advocate for yourself, but also put yourself in a position to thrive. We discuss how you are worthy of prioritizing yourself and allowing yourself to breathe.
What boundaries can you set to allow yourself to thrive?
LINKS MENTIONED
The Mrs. Beside Facebook Page
The Mrs. Beside Instagram
The Mrs. Beside Pinterest
The Mrs. Beside YouTube Channel
TIMESTAMPS
- 2:20 - 2:39 (19 sec JP) Set that out of office...nobody can stick up for you like you can.
- 2:55 - 3:19 (24 sec JP) One of the many things I feel like...maybe we don’t know who we are.
- 7:39 - 7:59 (20 sec JP) It’s ok to have a voice...it’s going to look different for everybody.
QUOTES
- We’ll all become better people. And if we’re better people, then we can be better wives. If we’re better wives, we can be better moms. The trickling effect is endless. - JP
- Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. - Oscar Wilde
- So, how do you be yourself, if you don’t know who yourself is? - JP
- Children are not a burden. They just add a layer of complexity. - JP
SHOW NOTES
Needing to Rediscover Yourself EP #1
Jamia Ponder is a wife and mother of three, and she’s getting real with herself. When Jamia was asked “who” she is and what she is most proud of without involving anyone else...she drew a blank. That’s a problem. Join Jamia on her journey as she peels back the layers to re-discover who she is without all the other roles she has.
It’s time to find that thing that is burning inside you!
What we’re talking about
- Who Jamia Is To Everyone Else
- The Journey To Med School Graduation
- A Moment Of Realization
Who Jamia Is To Everyone Else
Jamia is a wife to a recent medical school graduate. Mother to three amazing children. She is also a friend, lover, cook, chauffeur, house cleaner, laundry aficionado, and keeper of all the things when it comes to running her family’s household. Each day multiple hats are worn, with many of them happening in the very same moment. Sound familiar?
The Journey To Med School Graduation
Jamia and her husband have been together for 14 years, and married for 9. He had a longing desire to go to medical school for the first 9 years they were together. When he was finally admitted in 2016, it took flipping their life on it’s proverbial head to make it work, but they were committed to his ultimate goal of becoming a doctor. No matter the cost.
A Moment Of Realization
Jamia was asked, “who are you, and what are you most proud of that doesn’t involve anyone else?”. When she drew a blank, she knew she was in deep, really deep. It was time to claw her way out to rediscover who she is under all the hats she wears for everyone else. It was time to peel back each layer until she found her true self again. Tune in this season to find out what it was that caused Jamia to come to the realization that she was stuck and needed help.
Who are you, and what are you most proud of that doesn’t involve anyone else?
LINKS MENTIONED
The Mrs. Beside Facebook Page
The Mrs. Beside Instagram
The Mrs. Beside Pinterest
The Mrs. Beside YouTube Channel
TIMESTAMPS
- 4:42 - 5:01 (19 sec JP) But before you answer...That’s a problem.
- 6:11 - 6:22 (11 sec JP) I wanted something for me...figuring out who am I
- 7:05 - 7:42 (37 sec JP) All of the things we typically...I had to push past my fear.
- 8:40 - 8:58 (18 sec JP) We’re pushing our kids...those who He calls, He qualifies.
QUOTES
- Find that thing that is burning within you. Reignite your passion. Whatever gets you to some place of centered-ness.
- What are you giving back to yourself?
- There is something that each of us are called and created to do. There is a burning passion within each and everyone of us.
You’ve reached The Mrs. Beside – a movement dedicated to the wives standing BESIDE their spouse. Your spouse may be either pursuing or elevating their dream but the reality is, that career of choice pulls them away more often than not leaving you/me/us to handle the rest. Some days are easy. Some are flat out H-A-R-D.
Nobody in the world understands that better than I do.
So welcome to our very own common ground. A safe space to listen and be heard. To laugh. To cry. To heal. And a soft place to land. But more importantly, to remind you just how important YOU are. To challenge you to put yourself BACK on your ‘To-Do’ list. To let you know that I see you. It’s hard work – a thankless job. But you are the glue! You keep it alllll together. What you accomplish in a day is downright amazing. You, my friend, work everyday miracles.
From full time jobs, last minute dry cleaning, kid pick up, drop off, grocery shopping, planning, bills, budgeting, chauffeuring, cooking, exercising, eating (somewhat) right, not smoking crack, play dates and an expected chandelier swing from time to time….whew girl. I know you tied. And I am too! I S S A L O T!
The Mrs. Beside – in title alone – isn’t to simplify or tie our identity to our marital status or to define us by what our spouses do. It’s quite the opposite. In fact, it’s to celebrate and put some RESPECT back on our names. So pick up that crown girl. Shake that dust loose and step into your rightful place.
THIS. IS. ABOUT. AND. FOR. YOU. Finallllllllllllllllly!