The Dadhood Journey: Recent Episodes
Jay Warren
Parenthood can be a overwhelming experience for any new dad and if you don't have support and guidance along the way, you can feel lonely, stressed and depressed. Jay Warren brings his own first-hand dadhood experiences as well as lessons learned by others to you every week so that you can learn, grow and improve yourself day-by-day as a man, a partner and a dad.
On today's episode, I sit down with my my friend and colleague, Jason Frishman, to talk about parenting, being the best man we can be (as well as being the best father) and Star Wars.
-Why it's so challenging for us to see our kids as they ARE rather than how WE want them to be
--How Joseph Campbell and The Hero's Journey has left the modern man feeling like if he isn't out slaying dragons, then his life is boring or useless
---A 3 step process to get Present in any moment that will allow you to be a better dad, a better spouse, a better person.
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It's been a long time since I've published an episode of TDJ and here are the updates on what's going on at The Dadhood Journey (upcoming episodes and guests, how to join the FB group, meet-ups locally and virtually, courses, etc.) and what more is to come in the next few months...
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Have you ever caught your son looking at you with pride in his eyes? It’s the best. I got one of those looks this weekend when I pulled out my guitar and played in front of his friends. It was a song we both loved and he was surprised I’d learned it. He was so proud of me he recorded it on his iPad.
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
Join The Dadhood Journey Private Facebook Group
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
The Dude’s House had its first dinner party! Some of my oldest friends came over and I cooked for them. I wanted to use the opportunity to have a teaching moment with Niko about how to be a great host. He did his part, pitched in, and I think he learned some lessons he’ll never forget.
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
This weekend I witnessed first hand, the benefits of young kids playing with older ones. It’s fun but also so great developmentally and expansively. The older kids Niko was hanging out with were great with him, and the experience built up his confidence and expanded his expectations of himself and what he’s capable of.
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This week at school, Niko’s class is having “Invention Week.” The students are asked to come up with an invention, figure out how to build it, and present it to the class. I’m going to be honest and say that watching my kid build this project has me fighting the instinct to just take over and do it for him.
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
I’ve been travelling a lot lately, and absolutely loving it. Thankfully, now that Niko is a little older, he’s been able to come with me which is fantastic, but also really highlighted the necessity of making sure that traveling kids are travel savvy. If you have kids and love to travel, this one’s for you.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
Join The Dadhood Journey Private Facebook Group
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
This one’s for the moms! Our last episode was asking dads to share their experiences as new fathers, and now I’m wondering if you could pass this episode along to the moms in your lives for the same reason. If you could find the time to answer a few questions, it would really help out! Listen in for more details. Thank you!
Questionnaires:
www.drjaywarren.com/MomsHelpingDads
www.drjaywarren.com/DadsHelpingDads
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
Join The Dadhood Journey Private Facebook Group
Follow Jay Warren on Instagram: @doctorjaywarren
Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
I am working on some projects aimed at helping new dads, and I’ve created a questionnaire, looking for any advice experienced dads may have given their pre-dad selves. If you could find the time to answer a few questions, it would really help out! Listen in for more details.Thanks!
Questionnaires:
www.drjaywarren.com/DadsHelpingDads
www.drjaywarren.com/MomsHelpingDads
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
Join The Dadhood Journey Private Facebook Group
Follow Jay Warren on Instagram: @doctorjaywarren
Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
As you’re listening to this episode, Niko and I will be living it up in Kauai! This trip symbolizes more than just fun and relaxation, it also represents a milestone in the relationship between Niko’s mother and I. It took some work, but she has agreed to allow me to take him, and today’s episode is about standing your ground for what you know is right.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
It’s Niko’s birthday! The purpose of this podcast is to (hopefully) be useful, inspiring and comforting to other dads out there, but it’s also a bit of a journal for me. So today, I wanted to use this platform to send a great big birthday wish to my SIX-YEAR-OLD son!
Links to check out:
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
I had my first parent/teacher conference and it went great. I took the time to prepare for it by asking a couple of family friends (both with PhDs in Childhood Education) and wanted to share their insights to help you prepare for you next parent/teacher conference.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
How do you handle dishonesty with your kids? Niko has been testing his boundaries in terms of how far he can stretch the truth, and on this episode I wanted to share some strategies I’ve been using that have resulted in some progress.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
Trying to understand your 5-year-old’s emotions can be tricky. I want to make sure that he’s telling me what he’s feeling, and not putting my own filter on it, so we have introduced a new medium for Niko to communicate his feelings with us, by asking him to draw them. Find out how it’s working at drjaywarren.com/113
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
Niko started Kindergarten this year, and he has been learning a lot in the academic field which is awesome, but he’s also been learning a ton about life - and that’s been hard. Between the long days, teasing and figuring out what to do in these new situations, we are figuring out how to help him through the transition. Listen in to find out how it’s going at drjaywarren.com/112
Links to check out:
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
Niko has a famous penpal - the BFG. The BFG stands for Big Friendly Giant, and he is the central character in the Rold Dahl book of the same name. In the book, the BFG delivers dreams to children every night. After reading the book together, Niko had some lingering questions, so we decided to go straight to the source and ask the BFG himself in a series of notes.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
It is actually a very common experience for dad’s not to feel as bonded to their babies as they think they should be or want to be. Most dads going through this, often feel like there’s something wrong with them, but that’s not true. This episode is about a whole lot of empathy, and a whole lot of hope.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Follow Jay Warren on Instagram: @doctorjaywarren
Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
I’ve been throwing this idea around for a while in my practice, and it has finally come to be! In my work at CAP Wellness Centre I noticed a lot of our specialized postnatal groups became general support groups for moms, and noticed a gap for dads. Tune in to hear how it’s going.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
Join The Dadhood Journey Private Facebook Group
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
Niko received an early birthday gift - a book called What Should Danny Do? It is so great for kids and for parents. It’s a choose your own adventure book focused on honing his superpower which is “the power to choose”. It’s a great way for kids to start to understand the consequences of choices.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
Wednesday's are Dad and Niko days, which Niko and I have affectionately named Adventure Days. THIS Wednesday, Niko has joined me as co-host for a little Q&A. Do you have adventure days with your kids?
Links to check out:
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
While driving with Niko in the car today, he turned to me and said, “Dad, I just love this car. I hope you have this car forever!” It’s not a super fancy car, but I agreed and added that the only people who are ever really in that car, are him and I. As I said it, it dawned on me that it's really just him and I, which is cool, but it was also kind of sad.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
After dropping Niko off at his moms, it struck me how different my house is when Niko is in it, and when he’s not. Physically speaking, his toys, crafting supplies and general kid “mess” brings so much color into my home, and it dawned on me how that brightness and fun is such a reflection of the feelings Niko brings into my life.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
I was 41 when Niko was born, and that made me a little hesitant to have more kids. Because Niko is an only child, his mother and I are often asked why Niko doesn’t have “another sibling to play with?” It’s a common question for parents of only children. Tune in to hear my answer.
Links to check out:
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Niko has really been into putting on skits lately, and recently I was invited to his Super Famous Garbage Truck Show at his mom’s house. At the last second, Niko decided he was too nervous to go on. This gave me a great opportunity to pass on a tale of nervousness that my father told me as a kid. Tune in to find out why it’s so important to relate to your kids.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
This morning, Niko left for a two-week trip with his mom. This is the longest I’ve ever been away from him, and the first trip he’s taken since his mom and I have separated. I’ve got some mixed feelings (and mixed feelings about having mixed feelings), but acceptance will help me to take advantage of the time I have alone.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
We are 100 episodes into the Dadhood Journey Podcast! Sharing my stories on the podcast has deepened my personal learning, and I am so grateful that I’ve been able to share my Dadhood Journey with you. I hope I’ve been able to bring some support and laughs to your Dadhood Journey, and on this episode, I’ll catch you up with what’s been going on.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Follow Jay Warren on Instagram: @doctorjaywarren
Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
I have been LOVING the Orange Theory Workouts. It’s a varied, total body workout, that makes working out easy. I’ve found that the mental and physical benefits of working out effectively, have made me a much better dad in some surprising ways. We’re talking about training for Dadhood on the podcast today.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
If you’ve ever lost track of your child, even for a split second, you know the instant panic that takes hold of your whole body. What you may not know however, is that you’re not alone, and it happens to a lot of parents all the time. That’s what we’re talking about today on the podcast.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
Join The Dadhood Journey Private Facebook Group
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
Something different today Dads - an interview with the author of my favorite book on fatherhood!
Guest: Michael Byron Smith is the author of “The Power of Dadhood: How to Become the Father Your Child Needs”. He has dedicated himself to “Helping Fathers to be Dads”, the name of his Dadhood blog.
In this episode, we will cover:
- The real difference between being a father and being a Dad.
- The 7 Characteristics of a Successful Dad and what it takes to become better at each one.
- The “Dad’s Self Inspection Checklist”, created out of Mike experience of being an USAF Colonel and how to use it to regularly take an inventory of how you’re doing as a dad and where you can improve.
Resources mentioned in the conversation:
- The Power of Dadhood book on Amazon
- His website: https://michaelbyronsmith.com/index.html
- Dr. Jay’s article on The Transition to Fatherhood: https://drjaywarren.com/the-transition-to-dadhood/
- Dr. Jay’s other podcast: Healthy Births, Happy Babies
About Michael Byron Smith:
Michael Byron Smith is an advocate for healthy families with an emphasis on fathering. He is a 69-year-old father of three and grandfather to four, a retired USAF Colonel and a former B-52 pilot. Michael is the oldest of a family of six that struggled. His alcoholic father was irresponsible in his role as a parent. The impact this had on Mike’s siblings, and two generations after that motivated him to be the best father he could be.
Michael broke the cycle of dysfunctional families by earning a college scholarship and joining Air Force ROTC. After retirement, he dedicated himself to “Helping Fathers to be Dads”, the name of his Dadhood blog. He is also the author of “The Power of Dadhood: How to Become the Father Your Child Needs”.
It was a year ago today that I launched The Dadhood Journey podcast. It's been A WHILE since I've posted anything new and today is kind of a "re-boot". Happy Father's Day again, brothers! What are you doing today? A Star Wards Nerf gun fight like me?!?!
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
As a parent, if you haven’t heard “the kids don’t do that with me!” yet, brace yourself: you probably will. It’s a common sore spot I hear from many parents I talk to, and I have a pretty simple explanation regarding why children act differently around different people.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
I broke a brand new jar of jam on the floor today, and made a mess: both on the floor, and in my reaction. I was feeling overwhelmed already - thinking I had too much to do, and not enough time to do it - and that jar of jam was just the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Links to check out:
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
My dad was very handy when I was growing up and he passed on a lot of that knowledge to me. As a result I can handle a lot of electrical, construction and woodworking around the house. But he also handed down his disdain for one of the trades: plumbing.
Links to check out:
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
The holidays are a natural time for upping your family visiting game. But once you have a kid, it can get out of control and become overwhelming. Setting boundaries is something that takes time to perfect, but if you can get a handle on it the holidays can be even more enjoyable.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
Having a five-year-old at Christmas is so much fun! It brings back the magic of the season that we sometimes lose as we move into adulthood. Going through the traditions with Niko really brings the fun back to the surface and I plan on soaking it all in.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
While planning a day to spend with Niko, I found myself compiling a list of super fun, exciting things to do. When Niko arrived though, he wasn’t feeling up to a big day out, so we ended up staying home and just enjoying each other’s company. It was awesome.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
It's been a draining week. I knew it would be challenging, but I was surprised by the toll it took on me. Niko, understandably, had many ups and downs this week, and the downs really hit me hard. I've learned some great lessons though, and I'd like to share them with you.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
Well, the move went really well, mostly due to a surprise helper. It's my first official day as a single parent, and tonight Niko is going to have his first night in our new home.
Links to check out:
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
I have officially stepped into a new phase in my life, and I know some of you are/have too. This won't change the direction of this podcast, but it's a big event in my life so I wanted to share it with you.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
Tracy Hogg was a post-partum doula, who helped families to settle in bringing home a new baby. Her wealth of knowledge is shared in this amazing book, and is an amazing resource for new parents.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
Join The Dadhood Journey Private Facebook Group
Follow Jay Warren on Instagram: @doctorjaywarren
Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
Unfortunately we’ve set up some not-so-great sleep habits with Niko, and we are working with him now to overcome them. The good news is you can avoid these types of problems by seeking out advice from gentle sleep coaches, and I’ll tell you about my favourite resource today.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
Outside of general health, sleep is every new parents’ biggest concern. Thankfully, scientists have highlighted the problems with the cry-it-out method, and now there are many gentler options available for establishing healthy sleep habits with your kiddo.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
Join The Dadhood Journey Private Facebook Group
Follow Jay Warren on Instagram: @doctorjaywarren
Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
As men, it can be hard to ask for help. We stuff it and keep moving. As you grow as a father and accumulate new experiences and skills, one that I want you to really ensure you get into your arsenal is learning to ask for help. I’ve got a few pointers on how to ease into it.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
The early days with your kiddo can get pretty monotonous. It can seem like a waste of time to try to get outside, but a quick download of vitamin D, combined with seeing that the world is still turning, can be very rejuvenating.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
Join The Dadhood Journey Private Facebook Group
Follow Jay Warren on Instagram: @doctorjaywarren
Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
We all do it, in the trenches, in the middle of the night, exhausted: Wondering if you made a huge mistake becoming a dad. It’s scary to say it out loud, but the simple acknowledgement of those feelings, can allow you to move past them more quickly.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
Join The Dadhood Journey Private Facebook Group
Follow Jay Warren on Instagram: @doctorjaywarren
Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
With a newborn, everything is new. Firsts for you, for your partner and for your kiddo. Sometimes those initial steps can be scary or difficult, but with a quick mindset adjustment you can maximize your opportunity to unearth some often untapped joy.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
Join The Dadhood Journey Private Facebook Group
Follow Jay Warren on Instagram: @doctorjaywarren
Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
Do you know the meaning of the word, “constant”? Well dad, in those first weeks of parenting, you’re bound to find out! Having a newborn at home can be very difficult to adjust to. I put this podcast together as a shout out to our brothers in the trenches, to say that you’re not alone, this is normal, it will pass and to give you a couple pointers for self-care along the way.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
Join The Dadhood Journey Private Facebook Group
Follow Jay Warren on Instagram: @doctorjaywarren
Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
Whether you birthed at home or in a hospital, there will come the first night when you’re alone with the baby without any trained medical professionals around to help you.
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
I love watching my son play. And today was His first day of Pee Wee soccer at the YMCA. In his first ever game, on the first drive of the first game of the season, Niko made his dad PROUD!!!
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
Join The Dadhood Journey Private Facebook Group
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
Getting sick always sucks. As a Dad, you know family life doesn’t slow down for you. But this time, my body breaking down under the stress I’ve been under happened at the worst possible time. Hopefully this will serve as a painful lesson to take better care of myself.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
Join The Dadhood Journey Private Facebook Group
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
For Niko's birthday, I got him an awesome bike ... from Craigslist. I'm having some conflicting feelings about giving him a used bike. In the rest of my life, I am happy to buy used, in fact, my own bike was pre-loved, but for some reason, I was struggling with the idea of giving Niko an up-cycled gift.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
Join The Dadhood Journey Private Facebook Group
Follow Jay Warren on Instagram: @doctorjaywarren
Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
Niko is turning five this week, and as one of my gifts to him, I've decided to create a birthday video. I plan to make it a tradition, so that eventually he will have a collection of videos from dad that he can revisit as he grows, matures and changes, each time seeing the same messages, but from a new perspective. Do you have any birthday gift traditions with your kiddos, dad?
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
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Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
As a prenatal and pediatric chiropractor, I can attest to the power of birth stories. Not just the retelling of the birth postpartum, but also in the stories we carry into birth with us. Birth stories have a huge affect on mom, dad and our kiddos, and that's what we're talking about today on the podcast.
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
Join The Dadhood Journey Private Facebook Group
Follow Jay Warren on Instagram: @doctorjaywarren
Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
This episode is about how babies in-utero can not only hear Dad’s voice through the belly, but by doing so, can recognize your voice minutes after they are born! Talk and read to your babies when they’re in the belly, Dad. Your baby wants to hear your voice!
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
Join The Dadhood Journey Private Facebook Group
Follow Jay Warren on Instagram: @doctorjaywarren
Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
There is a psychological study called the Rottmann Study that showed the most important influence on the health and wellbeing of the child after its birth was mother’s ATTITUDE TOWARDS THE PREGNANCY. Do you know what the #2 most important influence was? It was the mother’s relationship with the FATHER during the pregnancy!
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
Join The Dadhood Journey Private Facebook Group
Follow Jay Warren on Instagram: @doctorjaywarren
Learn about Men of Iron: www.drjaywarren.com/menofiron
One of the most powerful studies I presented in my talk at the HypnoBirthing Conclave in San Antonio was the Raffai Study. I list out the dozen or so benefits that pregnant women (and their babies) experienced when doing some simple techniques during the 3rd trimester. Listen to this list Dad - you’ll want all of these if you’re expecting! Listen and share with your partner if you are still pregnant and download the free guide I mention at www.drjaywarren.com/40ways
Links to check out:
Sign up for updates: www.drjaywarren.com/dadhood
Join The Dadhood Journey Private Facebook Group
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This week I want to share some of the info I presented at the HypnoBirthing Conclave in San Antonio. I spoke on the impact Dads can have when they are involved in the pregnancy and birth of their children. This episode is about how important it is for not only the mama-to-be to take birth education classes, but for the Dad-to-be to take them with her as well.
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While away speaking at a conference, I got the opportunity to just sit alone in my hotel room, alone with no distractions and just watch the clouds float by. These moments of silence and calm and “not-doing” are so essential for all Dads (and all moms too) and their mental well-being.
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My son’s 5th birthday is fast approaching and we’ve learned from years past a few things that we’re going to implement this year to make it not only easier on us, but a whole lot more fun for everyone as well.
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Meltdowns happen to all kids. They happen to us parents too, right Dad? Well, this one taught me that I’ve come a long way in dealing with meltdowns and that I’ve learned a lot over the years. I’ll share what I’ve learned in hopes that it might help you too.
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There are some changes coming about in my son’s preschool. The teaching staff is getting switched up and none of us parents were notified about just how it’s going to go down. Today we have a parent-teacher conference and that will be the topic at hand. I’m not wanting to jump to any conclusions just yet. But it’s hard not to when I see how it’s been handled so far…
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Niko and I went to Playwerx today and usually he wants me to go in the maze and play with him. And usually I want to too. But today he wanted to play with some new friends he made there and in those minutes of just sitting and watch my son play, I saw something I hadn’t seen in him: he’s becoming a little leader.
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I’ve told you the Ocean gives me messages sometimes when I’m out surfing. Today, the Ocean and its huge waves gave me a Lesson: “You CAN go big, Jay. You don’t have go home.”
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Going to a Major League Baseball game really wasn’t on my list of “Firsts”, but we did it today and it sure was fun. The downtown ballpark for the San Diego Padres is beautiful and we had a blast!
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If you’re a Dad-to-be or the Dad of a newborn, you might not have used it yet. If you have a kid that’s a toddler or older, you certainly have used “The Dad Voice” with your kids. Is it bad, is it effective? If it’s effective, is it still doing more harm than good. Or is it just the way it is???
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There are many changes in your life that have occurred now that you’re a Dad. But I bet you never thought you’d talk about POOP this much! This passes but it morphs into something else later on and if you don’t catch it, you might become one of those parents that never lets their kid grow up.
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Let’s face it, life is messy and certain so is parenting. And I don’t mean complicated, because it’s that too. But I mean literal messy: dirty laundry, food crumbs and plastic toys are seemingly EVERYWHERE once you have kids. There’s 2 ways to go with state of being: resist it or embrace it.
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You know those stories you hear about in parenting circles...the ones where the house is chaos, the kids are going crazy, so is the parent...and then they just stop, take a breath, connect with the kid while they’re having the meltdown instead of yelling more AND it shifts everything? Well, that happened to me today with Niko. That connecting stuff really works!
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I heard Eric Davis talk about his book, Raising Men, on a podcast last year. He’s a retired Navy SEAL and Sniper School instructor. The lessons he learned as a SEAL, he’s applied to parenting boys in a really interesting way. I bought it, read it and found it to be really helpful so that’s why I wanted to share it with you. I think it could help you too (even if you have daughters-the principles are not really “boy specific”.
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After a serendipitous meeting this week and then diving into his podcast, I came across this analogy that I can’t stop thinking about. Weird title, I know. But it’s a great teaching tool that will help you with your emotional life.
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As a guy that really doesn’t like shopping OR care that much about clothes, I find it weird that I talked so much about it on this episode. But sometimes a wardrobe change can help reflect the inner changes that are going on in your life. So today I’m going to buy some new shoes.
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If you’re like me, coffee is a daily habit that seems essential to getting through the day. I’ve been drinking A LOT of coffee lately (for various reasons I explain), too much. I got some advice from 2 health care providers I talked to help me with it. But their advice was general enough that I think it could help you too, Dad, if you’re a coffee drinker.
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Today I’m starting a new set of 90 Day Targets in each of the 4 domains of life: Body, Balance, Being and Business. I do this every 3 months with the Men of Iron and today I’ll go through what I’m going to be working on (extra accountability from you guys!) and why I’m doing it.
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Fall brings the start of lots of sports stuff: NFL & NBA season (GO LAKERS!), pee wee soccer leagues and other team sports for the kids. I used to play in a volleyball league myself up until a few years ago (up until having a kid) and I find myself missing it. Do you play in a league of some kind, Dad?
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I found this new stories podcast that Niko and I have been listening to in the car that you might like listening to with your kids. It’s a series about a group of kids that play sports together and the lessons they learn playing together: sportsmanship, dealing with pressure, teasing, etc.
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I listened in on a conversation a couple of moms were having and it triggered me because the gist of it was the Dad wasn’t capable of taking care of his own kids on his own. Whether or not that’s actually true, I don’t know. But it brought up a couple of points I think are important for every Dad to address in their family life.
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I often get messages from the Ocean when I’m out surfing. There’s lots of time sitting on your board waiting for the next set of waves to come in. Time for the mind to quiet a bit or at least pay attention to how fast the mind is really going. Today’s message from the Ocean to me, “Wait for Yours” may speak to you as well, Dad.
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It’s early Sunday morning and that means it’s time for me to go surfing. This is MY TIME to go and while I’m not really an early morning person, it’s the time I have to get in the water so I take advantage of it. What’s your “go-to” getaway to relax and rejuvenate and when do you get to do it?
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This morning I really needed a mindset reset. A little extra sleep didn’t work. An extra cup of coffee didn’t work. Going for a nice walk with the dog didn’t work either. But Body Whomping did! Find out what that is…
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My son will start Kindergarten (thank God for spell check-why is Kindergarden spelled that way?) next year and in my neck of the woods, “Kinder prep” is all the buzz. Is it REALLY necessary to have our kids take extra classes to prep for KINDERGARTEN? I share what I’ve learned from some school teachers I know and what they think is really important about it.
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My folks coming into town for the weekend provided an opportunity I haven’t had the pleasure of enjoying in many, many years: a fireside chat with MY dad while the rest of the house was asleep. Stories, troubles and advice shared watching the fire with a beer in hand...ahhhhh!
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This episode is kind of the start of a “Dadhood Journey” Book List. Certainly not required reading, but well worth a read I think. I go over a few titles of books I have read lately and the one I’m currently reading and will begin sharing info from here soon.
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I spoke last week in a series of episodes about Back-to-School issues but I left out one important one: your kids getting sick a few weeks after starting back to school!
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In parenting, there’s a difference between “not doing it right” and doing it differently. Moms and dads do things differently with their kids - and this is a GOOD thing, for everyone. But you, Dad, have to find your OWN way if you haven’t already. Because trying to do your best version of her way isn’t going to serve you OR your children. You’ve got to find your own way.
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I’m sure you’ve heard the saying that you kids are watching what you do more than listening to what you say...but when your kid drops something in the yard and mutters. “Ahhh, sh*t!” EXACTLY the way I say it, then you KNOW they’re listening to you as well.
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Jocko Willink is an ex-Navy SEAL, podcaster and author. He’s recently written two books for kids and has “The Warrior Kid” podcast that my son and I have come to love listening to when driving around town. He answers questions from kids about exercise, lying, bullying, studying hard which stimulates great conversations from my son about the same.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/warrior-kid-podcast/id1371964204?mt=2
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I found an article a while back talking about these benefits (link in the shownotes below) but it was after an epic wrestling session in the living room that highlighted all of these benefits for my son and I.
https://www.fatherly.com/health-science/6-big-benefits-rough-tumble-play-kid/
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It’s the Labor Day Weekend - what’s on tap for you and your family these 3 days? I’m hitting the beach and BBQing with friends (no surprise there!). What do you do with your family on 3 day weekends?
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This a classic way of describing how much leeway you give your child when you’re with them. Do you give them a long leash to explore the world in? Do you keep them on a shorter leash to keep them safe?
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When your kids goes through a growth spurt, not only is their body growing, but their brains are too. When you see these classic 3 signs, know your kid is going massive physical AND emotional changes. Being ready for them can make a huge difference in how well you all weather that storm.
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Our kids learn a lot by observing. An experience showed me how important getting out of the house, doing new things and seeing other kids do new things is for expanding horizons.
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I’m not an expert on this subject or anything, but the school my son goes to gave us a lot of instruction on how to do drop offs well and this is what I’ve learned works.
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It’s Back to School time and that can be an emotional time - for both your child AND you.
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Whether you run your own business or work within someone else’s, you spend a large part of your day, week and life working. By taking daily efforts to grow and expand yourself in your Work Life, you will of course learn new skills and information, but this will also grow and expand your expertise, your impact and your earning potential. I’ll explain how “Study/Teach” can do this in this episode.
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To many of us Dads, our family is most important. Are you making daily deposits into your relationship bank accounts of your spouse and your kids? Doing something EVERYDAY to connect with and show appreciation to your loved ones is an important aspect of your Self-Care and I’ll explain why in this episode.
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In the area of our Spiritual life, our connection to God, Source, the Universe (or whatever you choose to call it) it extremely important to our Self-Care. Take just a few minutes each day to meditate or pray and then another minute or so to journal or note whatever messages or downloads you got from that time will make a huge difference in your life. I’ll show you how you can do this in this episode.
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In the area of our physical health, it’s important that EVERYDAY we move our bodies and put something nutritious into our body. In this episode, I talk about Fitness & Fuel for our Self-Care.
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Yes, “self-care” for Dads is a real thing and it is very important to our own health and well-being. By putting some focused time and effort into each of area of your life (the 4 Domains), you AND your family will be taken care of on a daily basis. In this episode, I will go over each of the 4 Domains (Body, Being, Balance and Business) before going deeper into each one in separate episodes.
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With the convenience of online shopping comes an incredible amount packaging waste as well. when you think about all of the partially eaten food, outgrown clothes and toys, not to mention DIAPERS that are thrown into landfills, I have to wonder: is having kids harmful to the environment?
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All of us dads can feel overwhelmed at times with all of the shopping, errands and to do’s that family life requires. The ability to shop online and have our list delivered to our door with a couple clicks is a game changer in saving time and money.
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