The Self Help Place Podcast: Recent Episodes

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Welcome! The Self Help Place is a self-help blog designed to provide REAL self-help that you can actually use in your daily life to break down barriers and to look after your mental health. Health comes first!

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After a fair number of years trying different things, I found a roadmap that if followed consistently, can DRASTICALLY reduce your overall anxiety levels.

In this episode:

  • Find out the 3 main stages in overcoming anxiety

  • Find out what happens in CBT therapy and how you can use the techniques in your own life

  • Discover how to get to the bottom of what you are really afraid of.

2 highly recommended books:

  1. Rewire Your Anxious Brain - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Rewire-Your-Anxious-Brain-Neuroscience/dp/1626251134

  2. Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Feel-Fear-Anyway-Indecision-Confidence/dp/0091907071/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=how+to+feel+the+fear+and+do+it+anyway&qid=1595072012&s=books&sr=1-1

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There are times when Social Media just gets a bit too much. A lot is going on in the world and you can become addicted to checking your Facebook/Instagram/Twitter every 2 seconds, which can have a direct effect on your mood, sleep, focus and general sense of wellbeing.

Both myself and guest Dave Norris explore the topic of Social Media a bit further and look into the issues as well as how to go about finding that balance between keeping up to date with your friends and family and letting your social media life take control of you.

In this episode:

  • Learn about some of the traps we can fall into in the social media world

  • A perspective on what is unhelpful during times of world crisis

  • A look into what you can do to reduce the stress of social media addiction

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At some point, we all find ourselves asking 'What is the point in all of this?' We can get stuck in a negative cycle of existentialism and nihilism to the point where we just feel...nothing.

So in this episode:

  • Find out how to know where the question REALLY comes from

  • Hear two true stories of people who found 'the point'

  • Find out how to get to the root of the big question

Nando Parrado:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nando_Parrado

Holly Butcher's letter:

https://www.facebook.com/james.l.ashford.5/posts/10157978902202923

Mastering Fear by Brandon Webb:

Audiobook: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07CSFML89/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

Book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mastering-Fear-Navy-Seals-Guide/dp/0525533567/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

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I hear this a lot in conversation - 'Do I need therapy?' 'What would therapy even do for me anyway?' I feel that therapy is sadly still a bit of a taboo conversation topic. That you must be 'unwell' or have something wrong with you to seek it.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

There isn't a great deal out there on what it is like to go through therapy. I went through a course of therapy some time ago and it gave me the tools I needed to tackle what I was going through and beyond. In this episode, I talk about the therapy I did called CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and my experiences, surprises and benefits in the journey.

If you want to learn more about what happens in therapy, are considering the option or you are going through it yourself, then this is the episode for you!

In this episode:

  • Learn about the process of CBT therapy and what happens

  • Learn about some of the myths of what therapy is about

  • Learn that therapy is for everyone and anyone - whether you feel there is 'something wrong with you' or not!

Learn about CBT here:

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-cbt/

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Meditation - it's just a waste of time right? What good comes from sitting and doing nothing?

These are common things I hear on the subject of meditation and they are understandable. The only real way to answer this is to try it for yourself! Oh, and listen to this podcast episode :)

In this episode:

  • Find out what meditation is and how it works

  • Discover what actually comes from facing yourself for a short time every day

  • Learn how to get started with your first meditation

  • Learn why meditation is so important in daily life

Here is a modern introduction on how to do walking meditation (the instructor in the video uses music which I do not feel is needed, but see what works for you):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVvBI0s2Cww

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How do we know what the term 'self-improvement' means anymore?

The term has lost it's value in an age of self-help gurus an opinions.

Here are some tried and tested ways to improve your life in ways that make real change.

In this episode:

  • Find out how to start making changes to be want you want to be

  • Learn how to develop your own roadmap

  • Learn how to dig deep into yourself to find out what YOU want, not what others expect you to be

Source and amazing article to get started from:

https://medium.com/mind-cafe/the-7-pillars-of-self-improvement-40d24e5421ab

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We all have insecurities - but sometimes our insecurities can hold us back when it comes to our relationships, careers and our own happiness. How do we overcome these?

In this episode:

  • Learn how to spot the hurdles that stop you from overcome your insecurities

  • How to break the taboo on your worst insecurities and start to rebuild yourself

  • Learn how to forgive yourself and your past and move on

Source:

https://zenhabits.net/insecurities/

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We live in a society (particularly in the West) where we are always switched on - cities run 24/7 and we are in non-stop hustle mode.

But are we making the best use of our time? What we THINK being productive is all about may not actually be the case.

In this episode:

  • Learn about the pitfalls of trying to be productive and how to avoid them

  • Life-changing tools and techniques to make the best use of your time

  • How to change your perspective to make productivity enjoyable

*Sources - my own experience and this great article:

https://www.activecampaign.com/blog/habits-of-highly-productive-people

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Do you look at your friends and family members and see everything they have achieved and feel hopelessly depressed as you haven't done the same as them?

Do you have a life that everyone respects you for, which you hate every minute of?

Do you just have no idea where you are or where you are going?

In this episode:

  • Find out why it is OK for your life to be a 'mess'
  • What you can do to live a life true to yourself
  • How to not compare yourself to others and live how you want to

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We all overthink - We all say to ourselves 'what if' or 'I should've/could've/would've' which is a natural part of ourselves.

However, this can develop into a habit which can disrupt and even ruin our lives.

In this episode:

  • Find out how overthinking works

  • Discover how to stop it in its tracks

  • Learn how to tackle the problem and start to make real change

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In every situation we encounter, we have a mental model for it - we use supply and demand to understand economics, problem solving * trial and error to solve math, the list is endless.

But how do we develop these models and what can we do to enhance them or eliminate ones that are harmful to us?

In this episode:

  • Learn the 3 stages of forming mental models
  • Learn how to change your current models to enhance your life
  • Learn how to spot and change negative ones

To learn more check out this article:

https://jamesclear.com/feynman-mental-models

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Here's a quick technique to reduce anxiety - this is a 2-5 minute trick that just helps to take the edge off how you are feeling so you can concentrate on your day.

In this podcast:

  • Learn a 4 step process to recognise and neutralise anxiety in it's place

Rewire Your Anxious Brain book:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Rewire-Your-Anxious-Brain-Neuroscience/dp/1626251134

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It is human nature to compare ourselves to our peers. But with social media in our faces nearly 24/7, it is very easy to let this get to us. 

In this podcast, both myself and regular guest Dave Norris discuss:

  • What makes us feel bad when we compare ourselves to others

  • How to eliminate and remove the negative side of comparison

  • How we can focus on our well-being and even use comparisons of our peers to become more solid in ourselves

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Burnout is, sadly, a very common occurrence in the modern world. Our history is also filled with overworking, but we seem to have only really started to realise the serious affects it has on not only our health, but our general productivity, too. Working more generally does not mean producing more!

In today's episode, we will take a look at:

  • Where culture plays a part in overworking

  • How to spot the symptoms of burnout

  • How to prevent and/or treat these symptoms

  • How to change your life around to crush burnout where it stands

Resource for symptoms:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/high-octane-women/201311/the-tell-tale-signs-burnout-do-you-have-them

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I used to do nothing but work, play video games, watch tv shows/movies and sleep. Repeat.

I had no energy, no passion and not a single shred of motivation.

5 years later, I am grabbing life by the horns and ticking off my life bucket list items one by one!

Is a lack of motivation stopping you achieving your goals and dreams? Are you stuck in a rut and don't know what to do?

Regular guest Dave Norris has always had heaps of motivation, so he joins me today to discuss ways we get and keep motivated.

In this episode, you will find out how to find the energy to strive to achieve your life goals.

There is a knack to it, and anyone can do it if they know how!

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3 years ago, I stayed at the Forest Hermitage in Warwickshire to work on my meditation practice. I came out the other side with a brand new perspective, which is still having a positive effect on me to this day.

Found out what i was taught and what I learned in that enlightening week.

To find out more about Ajahn Chah and the Thai Forest Tradition, you can visit the following:

https://forestsangha.org/

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Regular guest Dave Norris is back with us again to discuss the many pitfalls (and benefits) of Social Media. In today's episode, we explore what makes us negatively compare ourselves to friends, family and even strangers on popular platforms such as Facebook and Instagram, and why we are so quick to feel insecurity and depression about such things.

In this episode you will get insight on:

  • Why what we see on Social Media is mostly an illusion

  • How to keep grounded when seeing wonderful things by other people and feeling envious

  • How to turn social media from an overwhelming factory of negativity to a tool you can use for your own improvement and to improve the lives of others.

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So here we are, in the middle of a lockdown.

We are slowly getting used to the situation whilst at home, and all we have are mere estimates as to when this will all be over and when things will go back to 'normal'.

The majority of us our stuck at home, either working remotely or getting government assistance. Because of a lack of routine, it is becoming very difficult for us to stay motivated and focused during this time.

So in today's episode, we will solve this problem. I will address:

  • How to build and keep the motivation to do what we want.
  • How to look after ourselves until this thing blows over.
  • How to deal with the pressure of needing to do something during this lockdown.
  • How to figure out what to do and what not to do in this time.

Trello list making application:

https://trello.com/

Pomodoro Timer:

https://pomodoro-tracker.com/

NHS exercise guide:

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/

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Social Media is amazing technology. We have never been more connected than we are now, allowing friendships and relationships to flourish. But there is a dark side, and regular guest Dave Norris and I discuss the first part of this huge discussion. Find out what the word 'Kayfabe' means in this podcast, as it makes an appearance in our lives every day.

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In today's episode, our first guest Dave Norris is back to discuss and debate the issue of the ego. We discuss the good and bad side of it, the harmful effects and how to work towards preventing it having a negative effect on your relationships and personal life.

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In today's episode, we have Mike Davis as our guest, who is a professional drummer and musical director. He spent seven years performing on cruise ships and in theaters and has dealt with some rough times along the way. In our conversation, we dive into managing the pressures that are put on all of us in life, as well as looking at our own expectations to build a solid grounding moving forward.

You can check out Mike here:

https://www.instagram.com/mike_davis_uk/

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In this episode, I describe my own past and history with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) - This is a very misunderstood and sadly a very wrongly portrayed illness that is commonly seen as not serious. Nothing could be further from the truth.

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Musician Dave Norris is our guest today as we explore and share our experiences of taking ownership and responsibility for our problems,  changing our perspectives and generally understanding both ourselves and others to handle conflict better in our day-to-day life.

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I recently wrote a blog about ways to minimise your stress during this global pandemic - in today's episode, I elaborate more on each factor mentioned and explain what we can all do to look after ourselves effectively.

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Welcome to the first Episode!

In this first episode, I introduce the blog and explain what self-help actually is, as I have found it has more of a bad name due to a lot of it being not actually helpful. I include a bit of my story and my journey in mental health, and the reason I started the blog.

Thank you for listening and stay tuned!

Dan

The Self Help Place