Intentional Leaders Podcast with Cyndi Wentland: Recent Episodes
Cyndi
Welcome to the Intentional Leaders Podcast with Cyndi Wentland. Where we’re all about creating confident, successful, and focused leaders who manage with purpose and impact. I’m Cyndi Wentland, the founder of Intentionaleaders. And I’m passionate about learning, teaching, and coaching on all things leadership related. My purpose is to equip leaders like you with the tools, resources, and support to accomplish your goals. To learn when you want, how you want. So, if you’re an aspiring leader, first-time manager, experienced executive, or you just want to make a bigger impact in your role as an individual contributor—this podcast is for you. Because each week we’ll focus on relevant, applicable, and easy to implement skills and practices—to create focus and a deliberate path to employee engagement and business results. I know that leadership has its challenges but learning to lead shouldn’t be one of them.
NASA is packed with brilliant people, high standards, and deep purpose and yet the Columbia disaster revealed something every leader needs to face: a culture can feel positive and still produce dangerous decisions. We sit down with Philip Mead, a 31-year NASA veteran who led cultural transformation work after Columbia, to unpack how high employee engagement can coexist with normalized risk, missed signals, and the quiet pressure to stay silent when you cannot “prove it with data.”
We get practical about what’s happening under the surface: cognitive biases triggered by identity threats, credibility fears, and the human need for belonging and competence. Philip explains why psychological safety is not just about avoiding yelling or conflict, but about whether people believe it is safe and worth it to raise concerns, challenge assumptions, or share difficult truths. You’ll hear concrete culture change strategies NASA used, including normalizing dissent, building independent communication paths for safety issues, and teaching leaders to spot bias language and call timeouts before decisions drift.
We also connect culture to strategy execution through a simple model: start with the few critical behaviors your strategy requires, clarify the beliefs behind those behaviors, then design shared experiences that reinforce them. We close with a direct leadership challenge that applies whether you lead five people or five thousand: what behaviors are you unintentionally rewarding or discouraging right now?
Subscribe for more intentional leadership conversations, share this with a leader on your team, and leave a review so more people can find the show.
Connect with Phillip: https://www.linkedin.com/in/philliptmeade/
Book a coaching call with Cyndi: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/
Questions? Episode Requests? Send us a message!
Ambitious leaders know that real leadership goes far beyond titles—it’s about developing the clarity and mindset to guide others with confidence. In this podcast, you’ll explore what today’s leaders truly need, from navigating everyday problem solving to handling tough moments of workplace conflict with steadiness and respect. Episodes dive into setting healthy workplace boundaries, strengthening workplace collaboration, and building the emotional intelligence and emotional agility that make leadership sustainable. Whether you’re managing a growing team or refining your voice as a decision-maker, you’ll find insights that help you cultivate a resilient growth mindset and elevate your impact.
Burnout isn’t just feeling tired after a hard week, it’s the slow, chronic drain that changes how you think, how you react, and how your body recovers. We talk candidly about how many leaders confuse overwork with dedication, and how “wearing commitment like a badge” can quietly push us into an unsustainable rhythm.
We break down the difference between short-term stress and true burnout, then map the three major ways burnout shows up: cognitively (lower capacity, foggier thinking, decision fatigue), emotionally (less regulation, more irritability, that constant “jangly” feeling), and physically (sleep disruption, digestion and immunity issues, and reduced recovery). If you’ve felt detached from work or the people you care about, or you can’t prioritize because everything feels overwhelming, we explain why those signals matter and why other people may notice them before you do.
From there, we dig into what actually drives leadership burnout: unsustainable workload at work and at home, a lack of control when demands exceed resources, boundaries that get crossed over and over, and the isolation that can come with senior roles. We close with practical next steps to prevent and recover, including recovery mode that fits your situation, stronger delegation, building a real support system, healthier boundaries, and getting help when you need it. Subscribe, share this with a leader who’s carrying too much, and leave a review so more people can find the conversation.
LeadershipBurnout
BurnoutRecovery
LeadershipDevelopment
IntentionalLeadership
SustainableLeadership
EmotionalIntelligence
Questions? Episode Requests? Send us a message!
Ambitious leaders know that real leadership goes far beyond titles—it’s about developing the clarity and mindset to guide others with confidence. In this podcast, you’ll explore what today’s leaders truly need, from navigating everyday problem solving to handling tough moments of workplace conflict with steadiness and respect. Episodes dive into setting healthy workplace boundaries, strengthening workplace collaboration, and building the emotional intelligence and emotional agility that make leadership sustainable. Whether you’re managing a growing team or refining your voice as a decision-maker, you’ll find insights that help you cultivate a resilient growth mindset and elevate your impact.
Leadership can look confident on the outside while quietly collapsing under pressure on the inside. We sit down with Rajesh Naji, a CEO mentor and “business physicist,” to get brutally practical about why high-performing founders start to flounder in stressful moments and what actually restores clear thinking. Rajesh uses a model that stuck with me: performance equals potential minus interference. When fear, doubt, anxiety, and sleepless nights pile up, the interference grows and the quality of decisions drops, even for the smartest leaders in the room.
From there, we go deeper into what Rajesh means by applying physics to business: the strength of the chain equals the strength of its weakest link. Instead of chasing every tactic, we talk bottlenecks, throughput, and why simplicity often beats complexity. Rajesh also shares the surprising metrics he uses when deciding whether he will work with a CEO, including family meals, time with parents, and showing up for your kids. It’s a leadership mindset that ties business performance to real life fulfillment.
We also explore resonance as a coaching principle, how listening and reflecting can unlock movement without “fixing” people, and how community and belonging shape culture across countries. Rajesh shares concrete assignments, including a powerful practice to rebuild faith during uncertainty and a simple business exercise that flips your focus from what you want to what your customers want, with a nod to Peter Drucker’s view of what business is for.
Subscribe for more leadership conversations like this, share this episode with a founder who needs a reset, and leave a review so more people can find the show.
Questions? Episode Requests? Send us a message!
Ambitious leaders know that real leadership goes far beyond titles—it’s about developing the clarity and mindset to guide others with confidence. In this podcast, you’ll explore what today’s leaders truly need, from navigating everyday problem solving to handling tough moments of workplace conflict with steadiness and respect. Episodes dive into setting healthy workplace boundaries, strengthening workplace collaboration, and building the emotional intelligence and emotional agility that make leadership sustainable. Whether you’re managing a growing team or refining your voice as a decision-maker, you’ll find insights that help you cultivate a resilient growth mindset and elevate your impact.
Being right feels amazing for a reason: your brain rewards it. That quick dopamine hit can turn a capable leader into a stubborn one without them even noticing. I unpack how the “need to be right” sneaks into everyday leadership, especially when we’re under pressure to be decisive, credible, and fast. If you care about leadership development, critical thinking, and better decision making, this conversation is a practical mirror.
We walk through five specific pitfalls that show up when certainty takes the wheel: confirmation bias (and selective listening), reduced intellectual humility, escalation of commitment once you’ve said something out loud, defensive communication that ruins collaboration, and premature closure that confuses speed with quality. I also share a simple way to compare dopamine-driven habits with healthier thinking habits, like curiosity over certainty, adaptability over defensiveness, learning orientation over ego protection, and truth seeking over winning.
To land the lesson, I tell the tragic story of Ignay Semmelweiss, a physician who urged doctors to wash their hands and was shunned for it, with devastating consequences. It’s a reminder that righteousness, groupthink, and ego can be as dangerous as any technical mistake. If you want to lead teams that speak up, think deeper, and solve better problems together, hit play, then subscribe, share this with a leader you respect, and leave a review so more people can find the show.
Join our free masterclass The Dopamine of Being Right on June 2nd at 1pm CST. Register here: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/dopamine-being-right-masterclass
Leadership
LeadershipDevelopment
WorkplaceCommunication
PsychologicalSafety
TeamCulture
LeadershipSkills
CommunicationSkills
HonestLeadership
SpeakUpCulture
TrustAtWork
ExecutiveLeadership
LeadershipMindset
TeamPerformance
OrganizationalCulture
FeedbackCulture
ManagementSkills
HighPerformanceTeams
Questions? Episode Requests? Send us a message!
Ambitious leaders know that real leadership goes far beyond titles—it’s about developing the clarity and mindset to guide others with confidence. In this podcast, you’ll explore what today’s leaders truly need, from navigating everyday problem solving to handling tough moments of workplace conflict with steadiness and respect. Episodes dive into setting healthy workplace boundaries, strengthening workplace collaboration, and building the emotional intelligence and emotional agility that make leadership sustainable. Whether you’re managing a growing team or refining your voice as a decision-maker, you’ll find insights that help you cultivate a resilient growth mindset and elevate your impact.
If the people around you aren’t telling you the truth, you’re not getting the full picture and you’re paying for it in ways you can’t always see. In this episode, we unpack why honest communication so often breaks down at work, even among smart, well-meaning adults who care about results and relationships.
We start with the real reasons people stay silent: fear of consequences, low psychological safety, the desire to be liked, and the very human struggle of not knowing how to deliver feedback with respect. I also talk about the leadership factor that changes everything, power dynamics. When you have influence, a title, or even informal authority, people may edit themselves more than you realize, which means you’re leading with missing data.
Then we go to the “dark side” costs of unclear communication: emotional strain, reduced credibility, weaker performance, rising cognitive load, lost productivity from side conversations, and decision paralysis when priorities aren’t clear. The good news is this is fixable. I share what it looks like to build trust through intentional leadership communication, where truth is safe, expected, and practiced through simple phrases that invite clarity without turning every conversation into a confrontation.
If you care about psychological safety, team trust, workplace communication, and getting better outcomes with less stress, this one is for you. Subscribe, share this with a leader who wants more honesty on their team, and leave a review with the biggest communication shift you’re working on right now.
Questions? Episode Requests? Send us a message!
Ambitious leaders know that real leadership goes far beyond titles—it’s about developing the clarity and mindset to guide others with confidence. In this podcast, you’ll explore what today’s leaders truly need, from navigating everyday problem solving to handling tough moments of workplace conflict with steadiness and respect. Episodes dive into setting healthy workplace boundaries, strengthening workplace collaboration, and building the emotional intelligence and emotional agility that make leadership sustainable. Whether you’re managing a growing team or refining your voice as a decision-maker, you’ll find insights that help you cultivate a resilient growth mindset and elevate your impact.
Pressure doesn’t just test leaders—it reveals the habits you’ve been running on for years.
When deadlines tighten and emotions spike, do you get sharper and more connected… or do you slip into control, avoidance, or resistance?
In this episode, Cindy Wentland sits down with Eric Thompson, founder of Lift Leadership, to unpack what really happens to leaders and teams under pressure—and how to stay grounded, clear, and effective when it matters most.
Eric draws on his background in baseball and coaching to challenge the idea that high performance is about hype. Instead, it’s about regulation. We explore why “executive presence” often falls apart under stress, how blind spots grow when we play small, and why workplace conflict is often a signal of missing self-awareness and missing voice.
You’ll also get practical language to build psychological safety—so your team feels seen, heard, and valued, especially those who don’t naturally self-advocate.
Plus, we break down Eric’s Lift framework:
✔️ Self-awareness
✔️ Self-compassion
✔️ Gratitude
✔️ Self-care
✔️ Connect with your power base
If you want real tools for emotional intelligence, leadership development, and leading under pressure—this episode is for you.
🎧 Listen now, subscribe, and share with a leader who needs this.
🔗 Connect with Eric Thompson: https://www.liftleadership.com
🔗 Learn more about Intentional Leaders: https://www.intentionalleaders.com
Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #ExecutivePresence #LeadershipDevelopment #PsychologicalSafety #HighPerformance #Mindset #SelfAwareness #WorkplaceCulture #BurnoutPrevention #TeamLeadership #PersonalGrowth #IntentionalLeaders
Questions? Episode Requests? Send us a message!
Ambitious leaders know that real leadership goes far beyond titles—it’s about developing the clarity and mindset to guide others with confidence. In this podcast, you’ll explore what today’s leaders truly need, from navigating everyday problem solving to handling tough moments of workplace conflict with steadiness and respect. Episodes dive into setting healthy workplace boundaries, strengthening workplace collaboration, and building the emotional intelligence and emotional agility that make leadership sustainable. Whether you’re managing a growing team or refining your voice as a decision-maker, you’ll find insights that help you cultivate a resilient growth mindset and elevate your impact.
Think your IQ is what limits your influence? The real bottleneck might be your reactions. We pull back the curtain on emotional intelligence and show how it quietly governs decision quality, trust, performance, and the culture your team lives in every day. Instead of treating EQ as a soft add-on, we frame it as the leadership multiplier that turns strategy into steady execution.
We break down the four core domains—self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management—and connect them to moments you face at work: the meeting where tension spikes, the email that triggers you, the one-on-ones where people read your mood more than your words. You’ll hear candid reflections on blind spots, how values drive triggers, and why stress widens the gap between who we think we are and how others experience us. We explore the hard ROI: regulated leaders access clearer judgment, build predictable trust, reduce drama, and unlock smarter problem solving across the team.
Along the way, we share practical moves you can use right away. Map your top triggers to the values beneath them. Pause before key decisions to name what you feel and choose instead of react. De-escalate heat with simple scripts that separate facts from stories. Treat culture as a daily product of repeated reactions—because mindset drives behavior, behavior shapes culture, and culture becomes legacy. If you want your team to think better and move faster, start by leading your inner world on purpose.
Listen now, then tell us: what emotion is steering your leadership today? If you found value here, subscribe, share with a colleague, and leave a quick review to help more leaders lead on purpose.
Questions? Episode Requests? Send us a message!
Ambitious leaders know that real leadership goes far beyond titles—it’s about developing the clarity and mindset to guide others with confidence. In this podcast, you’ll explore what today’s leaders truly need, from navigating everyday problem solving to handling tough moments of workplace conflict with steadiness and respect. Episodes dive into setting healthy workplace boundaries, strengthening workplace collaboration, and building the emotional intelligence and emotional agility that make leadership sustainable. Whether you’re managing a growing team or refining your voice as a decision-maker, you’ll find insights that help you cultivate a resilient growth mindset and elevate your impact.
Feeling stuck between your best intentions and your most stressful reactions? We unpack a simple, repeatable way to move from autopilot to intentional leadership using the LEAD framework: Look within, Exercise choice, Act with intention, and Deepen connection. If you’ve ever prepared carefully for a feedback conversation only to get derailed by defensiveness, this conversation gives you the tools and language to stay steady and effective.
We start by demystifying emotional intelligence and emotional agility in plain terms: emotions are signals, not commands. You’ll learn how to read your body’s cues, name what you’re feeling with precision, and use that information to guide behavior. We break down why your brain’s fast stories skew negative and how a deliberate pause creates the space to choose your response. From there, we translate values into behaviors you can use under pressure—slowing your cadence, asking better questions, and steering the moment toward clarity instead of conflict.
Throughout the episode, we share real-world examples leaders face every week, from giving tough feedback to protecting psychological safety when tensions spike. You’ll hear practical prompts like “How is this landing for you?” and “What else could be true?” along with the science-backed habit of “name it to tame it” to regulate your nervous system. The result is a roadmap to build self-trust, become more predictable to your team, and widen your capacity for stress so you can lead with calm, curiosity, and purpose.
Ready to practice, not just plan? Grab the worksheet, try the micro-habits, and start building a leadership legacy you can be proud of. If this resonated, subscribe, share the episode with a leader who needs it, and leave a review to help others find the show.
Download the Worksheet: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/the-lead-framework-worksheet
Connect with Cyndi: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/
Questions? Episode Requests? Send us a message!
Ambitious leaders know that real leadership goes far beyond titles—it’s about developing the clarity and mindset to guide others with confidence. In this podcast, you’ll explore what today’s leaders truly need, from navigating everyday problem solving to handling tough moments of workplace conflict with steadiness and respect. Episodes dive into setting healthy workplace boundaries, strengthening workplace collaboration, and building the emotional intelligence and emotional agility that make leadership sustainable. Whether you’re managing a growing team or refining your voice as a decision-maker, you’ll find insights that help you cultivate a resilient growth mindset and elevate your impact.
Feeling like your leadership playbook was written for a world that no longer exists? We dive into Sawubona leadership, a human-first approach rooted in the Zulu greeting “I see you,” and show how it reframes engagement, accountability, and performance without slipping into clichés or corporate speak. Our guest, Susan Inouye —author of Leadership’s Perfect Storm—traces the model’s origins from a Los Angeles mentoring program to adoption across 30+ countries, revealing why a gift-centered culture is a powerful antidote to disengagement and generational friction.
Across the conversation, we unpack the difference between leading through labels and leading through gifts, and how that shift makes coaching specific and humane. You’ll hear how every strength has an “other side,” why overused gifts become blind spots, and how to restore balance with targeted practices. We explore practical, somatic ways to make change stick—training your nervous system to stay grounded under pressure—through micro-reps like mindful pauses, releasing the urge to fix, and even a bold trapeze lesson that turned fear of letting go into freedom. The result? Leaders who can be the eye of the hurricane when uncertainty hits.
We also connect the dots to today’s workplace realities: AI elevates the value of empathy and relationships; managers who coach outperform those who command; and continuous learning builds cultural agility. You’ll get actionable ideas to strengthen accountability through gift language, design development that fits your context, and normalize uncertainty by making learning a yearly requirement. Ready to help people feel seen, spark better performance, and build a culture that holds together when the waves rise?
If this conversation sparked insight, subscribe, share it with a leader who needs it, and leave a quick review to help others find the show. Your feedback shapes future episodes and keeps this community growing.
Get in Touch with Susan:
Website: https://susaninouye.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susaninouye2
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7G6sjAyzq3UDnumH7L8Zcw
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/susan-inouye-083384b/
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/susan_inouye/
X: https://x.com/InouyeSusan
Questions? Episode Requests? Send us a message!
Ambitious leaders know that real leadership goes far beyond titles—it’s about developing the clarity and mindset to guide others with confidence. In this podcast, you’ll explore what today’s leaders truly need, from navigating everyday problem solving to handling tough moments of workplace conflict with steadiness and respect. Episodes dive into setting healthy workplace boundaries, strengthening workplace collaboration, and building the emotional intelligence and emotional agility that make leadership sustainable. Whether you’re managing a growing team or refining your voice as a decision-maker, you’ll find insights that help you cultivate a resilient growth mindset and elevate your impact.
Holiday cheer gets all the headlines, but the real story often includes tension, old patterns, and big expectations. We get honest about the pressure to make everything magical and offer a simple, usable plan to stay grounded when emotions spike. Our five-step PEACE framework—Pause, Examine, Adjust, Choose, Exit or Engage—turns reactive moments into chances for clarity and connection.
We start with the body: how a brief pause settles the nervous system and opens space for choice. Then we name what’s real. Beyond happy, sad, and mad, the holidays can stir guilt, resentment, grief, envy, and fatigue. By labeling emotions accurately, we stop fighting ghosts and address the true issue. From there, we examine the stories we carry about tradition, timing, and roles. If your family’s script was written decades ago, it might be time for an edit that honors meaning without clinging to methods that no longer fit.
Next, we practice choosing centered responses that align words, tone, and body language. That might look like a gentle boundary, a topic shift, a curious question, or purposeful silence. Finally, we decide when to exit to protect calm or engage to build trust—both valid when chosen with intention. Along the way, we share prompts to identify triggers, plan responses, and give yourself grace when you slip. You can’t control every dynamic, but you can control how you show up, and that choice often shifts the entire room.
If you’re ready to trade perfection for presence and turn conflict into clarity, this conversation is your guide. Listen, pick one tool to try at your next gathering, and notice what changes. If it helps, share the episode with someone who needs a little more peace this season, and subscribe or leave a review so we can bring more calm, practical tools to your feed.
HolidayStress #FamilyDynamics #HolidayGatherings #EmotionalIntelligence #EmotionalAgility #EmotionalRegulation #NervousSystemRegulation #RespondNotReact #PauseAndChoose #StayGrounded #InnerCalm #ChoosePeace #BoundariesWithCompassion #HealthyRelationships #PresenceOverPerfection #ConnectionOverConflict #StressManagementTools #CalmUnderPressure #SelfAwareness #ConsciousChoices #LeadYourself #GraceUnderPressure #ClarityAndConnection #PEACEFramework
Questions? Episode Requests? Send us a message!
Ambitious leaders know that real leadership goes far beyond titles—it’s about developing the clarity and mindset to guide others with confidence. In this podcast, you’ll explore what today’s leaders truly need, from navigating everyday problem solving to handling tough moments of workplace conflict with steadiness and respect. Episodes dive into setting healthy workplace boundaries, strengthening workplace collaboration, and building the emotional intelligence and emotional agility that make leadership sustainable. Whether you’re managing a growing team or refining your voice as a decision-maker, you’ll find insights that help you cultivate a resilient growth mindset and elevate your impact.
Ever worked for someone who made you feel small on purpose? We unpack the rise of fear-based leadership—why it’s suddenly everywhere, how it disguises itself as “tough love” or mission-driven care, and what it costs teams in creativity, trust, and retention. With coach and author Kate Lori, we translate the playbook of control into plain language and offer a counterplay that preserves your energy, agency, and integrity.
We start by defining fear-based leadership through real-world patterns: shaming, rigidity, moving goalposts, and the velvet-glove approach that cloaks dominance in benevolence. Then we connect the cultural dots—media narratives and high-profile executives that have normalized a harsher style—and explore why stressed leaders default to fight, freeze, or fawn. You’ll learn how chronic threat hijacks the brain, why innovation collapses under fear, and how to spot subtext when words don’t match motives.
From there, we get practical. Kate shares resilience moves that actually work: using humor as strategic resistance, protecting information that could be weaponized, and treating attention and availability as levers. We dig into the ethical difference between manipulation and influence, showing how to nudge outcomes without losing your values. For leaders who see fearful patterns in themselves, we offer hopeful steps—expanding the window of tolerance, rebuilding self-trust with daily reps, and embracing the “kindergarten lessons” of apologies, friendship, and trust-building.
We close by charting a better path: strengths-based leadership. Unblock your team, amplify their talents, and share power so performance follows. If you’ve felt stuck in a fear-driven culture, you’ll leave with a clearer map, sturdier boundaries, and a renewed belief that you can be powerful without becoming hard. If this resonated, subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway—what’s one lever you’ll pull first?
Preorder Kate's book:
- https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FR1G981Y/ref=sr_1_2?
- https://www.amazon.com/Unbreakable-Thrive-Under-Fear-Based-Leaders-ebook/dp/B0FQ71FW72/ref=sr_1_1
Connect with Kate:
- https://www.instagram.com/kateunbreakablelowry/
- https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61579366067469
- https://www.linkedin.com/in/katherinejlowry/
Connect with Cyndi:
www.intentionaleaders.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/katherinejlowry/
Questions? Episode Requests? Send us a message!
Ambitious leaders know that real leadership goes far beyond titles—it’s about developing the clarity and mindset to guide others with confidence. In this podcast, you’ll explore what today’s leaders truly need, from navigating everyday problem solving to handling tough moments of workplace conflict with steadiness and respect. Episodes dive into setting healthy workplace boundaries, strengthening workplace collaboration, and building the emotional intelligence and emotional agility that make leadership sustainable. Whether you’re managing a growing team or refining your voice as a decision-maker, you’ll find insights that help you cultivate a resilient growth mindset and elevate your impact.
Trust rarely fails with a crash; it thins out through tiny cuts. We unpack how unclear or ignored boundaries chip away at relationships and show practical ways to rebuild trust with clarity, courage, and compassion. Using Brene Brown’s BRAVING as a guide, we broaden trust beyond reliability to include accountability, the vault, integrity, nonjudgment, and generosity—starting with boundaries as the first move.
We walk through ten common boundary violations leaders often miss: intrusions on privacy, work-life overreach, role oversteps, dismissed emotions, wasted time, autonomy squeezes, tech misuse, neglected health needs, broken confidentiality, and cultural disrespect. You’ll hear why most of these slips are unintentional—and why intent doesn’t erase impact. Then we translate awareness into action with simple scripts to name a violation, explain the effect, and ask for a new agreement without blaming motives.
For teams, we offer clear norms that lower friction: quiet hours, meeting purpose and limits, response-time windows, decision rights, and explicit rules for confidential topics. We share how to model integrity by owning mistakes quickly, how to practice nonjudgment and generosity during feedback, and how to protect autonomy by focusing on outcomes over micromanagement. The result is a culture where people feel safe to speak up, bring energy to the work that matters, and protect the values that keep them well.
If this conversation helps you rethink boundaries and trust, subscribe, share it with a colleague who needs it today, and leave a quick review so others can find the show. Tell us: which boundary will you clarify this week?
TrustBuilding #WorkplaceBoundaries #LeadershipSkills #EmotionalIntelligence #BRAVING #BreneBrownInspired #PsychologicalSafety #HealthyTeams #TeamCulture #AccountabilityAtWork #IntegrityInLeadership #Nonjudgment #GenerousAssumptions #WorkplaceRespect #CommunicationSkills #LeadershipDevelopment #BoundarySetting #RepairingTrust #WorkplaceWellbeing
I'd love to hear from you! Send a text message.
Ambitious leaders know that real leadership goes far beyond titles—it’s about developing the clarity and mindset to guide others with confidence. In this podcast, you’ll explore what today’s leaders truly need, from navigating everyday problem solving to handling tough moments of workplace conflict with steadiness and respect. Episodes dive into setting healthy workplace boundaries, strengthening workplace collaboration, and building the emotional intelligence and emotional agility that make leadership sustainable. Whether you’re managing a growing team or refining your voice as a decision-maker, you’ll find insights that help you cultivate a resilient growth mindset and elevate your impact.
Strategy doesn’t fail for lack of ideas—it fails at the handoff to execution. We bring in OKR expert and Wave Nine founder Philip Schett to show how to close that gap with clear goals, shared rituals, and a culture that trades micromanagement for ownership. Philip’s journey from Germany to Silicon Valley reframed his thinking: great companies don’t win because they dream better; they win because they execute better. That mindset shift powers the conversation as we dig into OKRs done right—less about perfect wording, more about changing team behavior, building trust through transparency, and making alignment a weekly practice.
We unpack the patterns behind “set and forget” goals, and why town halls and slide decks rarely produce real alignment. Philip introduces three simple rituals that compound: Monday calibrate to focus on outcomes for the week, Friday celebrate to make progress visible and energizing, and quarterly resets to protect priorities without hiding behind annual vagueness. We explore accountability with a human tone—say what you’ll do, do what you said—using one-on-ones for tough conversations and public forums for recognition. You’ll hear how co-creating OKRs prevents dehumanizing top-down mandates, why OKR champions are key to scaling across functions, and how nonprofits can turn passion into measurable impact with the same playbook.
If you’ve ever watched goals vanish by week three, wrestled with cross-functional friction, or confused motion with progress, this episode offers a practical operating system: verify understanding instead of assuming it, make work visible to accelerate trust, and anchor execution in rhythms your team can keep. Subscribe, share this with a leader who needs clearer focus, and leave a review telling us which ritual you’ll start this week.
Get in Touch with Phillip Schett:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/philipp-schett/
OKRs #LeadershipExecution #BuildTrust #TeamAlignment #MondayCalibrate #LeadershipPodcast #ExecutionCulture
I'd love to hear from you! Send a text message.
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Ryan Gottfredson explains the transformational journey from being focused solely on doing better to becoming better as a human being, drawing on his research and latest book. He introduces the distinction between our "doing side" (talents, knowledge, skills) versus our "being side" (quality of our internal operating system), showing how genuine transformation requires upgrading who we are, not just what we do.
• Most developmental efforts focus on the doing side, but transformational growth requires improving our being side
• Vertical development upgrades our internal operating system to respond more effectively to challenges
• The becoming better journey starts with awakening to our current wiring and how it affects our responses
• Most organizations promote high-doing leaders without considering their being side quality
• Microsoft's transformation under Satya Nadella demonstrates the power of high-being leadership
• 70% of adults have experienced trauma that has wired their nervous system for self-protection
• Surface-level strategies like meditation and deeper approaches like mindset work can help refine our internal operating system
• The goal is becoming a "brighter light" in our spheres of influence through personal transformation
Reach out to Ryan if you take his mindset assessment or read his book "Becoming Better" – he's offered to connect with listeners and discuss your results.
I'd love to hear from you! Send a text message.
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
A day that changes lives forever – that’s how veterans describe their experience on the Badger Honor Flight. This mission honors those who served by taking them to Washington D.C. to visit the memorials built in their honor.
Flight Operations Director Jody McClain takes us behind the scenes of this remarkable program that has transformed the lives of over 5,000 veterans. With precision and compassion, she coordinates every detail—from transportation logistics to ensuring veterans receive the recognition many never got when returning home.
The stories Jody shares are deeply moving: a Vietnam veteran finally finding the strength to face the memorial wall with his service dog’s support, and another realizing the depth of his healing by saying, “I didn’t know how broken I was. You helped fix me.” These moments of closure capture the heart of the Badger Honor Flight mission—healing, honor, and connection. Perhaps most emotional of all is the welcome home ceremony. Thousands gather at airports with music, flags, and thunderous applause.
For many, especially Vietnam veterans, it’s the first time they’ve ever been publicly thanked. The tradition of “mail call” on the return flight, where veterans receive heartfelt letters of gratitude, often moves them to tears. With 126 hubs across 44 states, the Badger Honor Flight continues this vital mission free of charge to veterans, relying on donations, volunteers, and community support.
Whether by writing a letter, volunteering, or attending a welcome home ceremony, we all have a role in honoring those who served.
Volunteer & Donate: badgerhonorflight.org
BadgerHonorFlight #Veterans #VeteranStories #MilitaryHeroes #WelcomeHome #Gratitude #NeverForget #HonorAndRemember #ServiceAndSacrifice #VeteranSupport
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Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Forget everything you thought you knew about collaboration. It's not about getting everyone to agree—it’s about creating something entirely new together. In this eye-opening episode, we explore the misconceptions that hold teams back from practicing collaborative leadership and uncover what it really takes to lead effectively in today’s environment.
Most people score surprisingly low on collaboration skills when assessed with tools like the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Inventory. Why? Because true collaborative leadership is a learned behavior that many of us were never taught. Instead, we default to giving in, taking charge, or seeking compromise—none of which create innovative solutions. Real collaboration requires understanding what people truly need, value, and worry about, then building a shared vision that honors diverse perspectives.
One of the biggest myths we dispel is the need for 100% consensus. That painful process where everyone sits in a room until complete agreement is reached? It’s unnecessary and often counterproductive. Collaborative leadership thrives on healthy conflict—where reserved team members speak up authentically and outspoken individuals practice deep listening. Especially in distributed teams, intentional practices are needed to foster this kind of productive exchange.
As leaders, our challenge is to create the safety and structure that allows true collaborative leadership to flourish. Can you set clear expectations that welcome diverse viewpoints? Can you respond to disagreement with curiosity rather than defensiveness? These are the skills that separate teams that simply coordinate tasks from those that deliver breakthrough solutions.
Share this episode with colleagues and let us know how these ideas have shifted your view of collaborative leadership in action.
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Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Ever feel like something's missing despite all your achievements? You're not alone. This conversation with Dr. Sharon Spano uncovers the fascinating connection between leadership effectiveness and human development that explains why even successful leaders can feel unfulfilled.
Dr. Spano, a strategist and thought leader who specializes in integrating leadership with human development, reveals how our relationship with time and money profoundly shapes our leadership capacity. She explains the twelve stages of adult development and why understanding your current stage is crucial for breaking through limitations. Most compelling is her observation that many high-achievers are unconsciously motivated by past trauma, creating patterns that limit their potential until addressed.
The discussion weaves through powerful distinctions between scarcity and abundance mindsets, showing how fear-based decision making differs from confidence-based leadership. Dr. Spano shares illuminating examples from her client work, including how seemingly small childhood experiences can dramatically impact leadership style decades later. Her approach doesn't dwell on past trauma but instead helps leaders make meaning from experiences to create transformative growth.
What sets this episode apart is Dr. Spano's framework for understanding leadership challenges through developmental stages rather than just skills or competencies. She offers practical insights on moving beyond "the emptiness of success" toward genuine fulfillment and purpose. Whether you're feeling stuck in your leadership journey or simply curious about how to reach your highest potential, this conversation provides a roadmap for growth that extends far beyond traditional leadership development.
Discover why witnessing yourself in the moment is the key to transformation—and how becoming your best self creates ripple effects that can change your organization, family, and ultimately the world. Ready to grow through leadership instead of just in it? This episode is your starting point.
Connect with Sharon: https://sharonspano.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sharonspano/
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Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Ever found yourself stuck in a comfortable rut? Turns out, that's not laziness—it's complacency, and it might be the biggest barrier between you and your true potential.
Chris Robinson, Executive Vice President of Maxwell Leadership, joins us to completely reframe how we understand complacency. Forget what you thought you knew—complacency isn't about being lazy or apathetic. It's what Robinson calls "secret places of satisfactory success" where we've become content with being good but not great.
"Complacency looks like busyness, feels like comfort, and sounds like excuses," Robinson explains, detailing how this subtle enemy has been the downfall of empires, companies like Kodak, and even racing legends. The most dangerous part? We often don't recognize it in ourselves because we're still productive, just not intentionally growing toward our potential.
Drawing from his upcoming book "From Fifth to Drive," Robinson shares his powerful seven-step framework for breaking free from complacency: clarity, gathering information, filtering, guidance, relationships, action, and evaluation. Each step builds upon the last to create momentum toward true excellence. The simplest version? "Learn a little bit, do a little bit"—an iterative process that, when combined with specific mentorship, creates breakthrough growth.
Whether you lead a multinational company, a small team, or just yourself, this conversation challenges you to identify your own "rumble strips"—those warning signals that you're drifting off course. Are you allowing routine to replace reflection? Saying "later" more than "now"? Losing energy for what once inspired you? These might be signs that you're settling for good enough when greatness awaits.
Ready to move from drift to drive in your career and life? Take Robinson's complacency quiz at drifttodrivequiz.com and pre-order his book, releasing September 2nd. Your potential is waiting—don't let complacency keep you from reaching it.
Contact Chris:
ChrisRobinsonSpeaker.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/speakerchrisrobinson/
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Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
What if the most powerful tool for business success isn't a new technology or strategy, but simply creating environments where people can bring their whole selves to work? In this compelling conversation, Olivia Stewart reveals how inclusive leadership directly impacts employee engagement, innovation, and organizational performance.
Stewart brings a unique psychological perspective to workplace dynamics, having witnessed the evolution of employee engagement metrics since the early 1990s. She challenges leaders to see diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging not as separate initiatives but as fundamental leadership responsibilities. "This is not something you're doing in addition to your job," she explains. "This is your job."
Using a brilliant orchestra conductor metaphor, Stewart illustrates how leaders harmonize diverse talents without playing any instruments themselves. The conductor merely "waves a stick around," yet transforms individual excellence into collective brilliance through direction and clear communication. Similarly, inclusive leaders create environments where innovation naturally emerges from diverse perspectives.
Most provocatively, Stewart identifies the hidden cost of non-inclusive workplaces: cognitive drain. When employees spend approximately 10% of their mental capacity hiding aspects of their identity or feeling unsafe to speak up, that's brain power not devoted to solving problems or driving results. "If I'm using my brain space that way, I'm not giving it to the cause," she notes.
Through concrete examples and practical advice, Stewart outlines key inclusive behaviors: active listening that suspends judgment, clear communication that considers diverse learning styles, and consistent accountability that reinforces expectations. These behaviors require intention, practice, and sometimes uncomfortable conversations, but they directly enhance decision-making quality and team performance.
Ready to transform your leadership impact? Subscribe now and discover how small shifts in leadership behavior can dramatically improve your team's engagement, innovation, and results.
Contact Olivia Stewart here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/olivia-williams-stewart-000225/
Cyndi Wentland: www.intentionaleaders.com
Try the Intentional Problem Solving Course for FREE: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/intentional-problem-solving-leaders-course
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Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Heather Plett, co-director of the Center for Holding Space, shares her powerful insights on the transformative practice of "holding space" and introduces the concept of being a "grounded guide" in today's leadership landscape.
• The practice of holding space involves walking alongside others in their experiences without trying to control, direct, or judge them
• Holding space begins with self-awareness and presence before extending to others
• Nature connection and stillness practices help ground leaders in presence
• Seeing and honoring people's innate potential requires overcoming cultural biases about productivity
• The "grounded guide" approach helps leaders navigate liminal spaces of transformation
• Facing your shadows and biases is essential for evolving as a leader
• Leadership development must include emotional, psychological and spiritual growth
• Community and accountability partnerships prevent ego-driven leadership
• Slowing down often reveals wisdom that productivity-focused mindsets miss
• Adult development continues throughout life and impacts organizational and societal well-being
Get in touch with Heather:
Website: https://centreforholdingspace.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/heatherplett/
Book: The Art of Holding Space
Substack: atenderspace.substack.com
I'd love to hear from you! Send a text message.
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Speed without direction is just wasted energy. That's the powerful truth at the heart of my conversation with Simon Severino, founder of Strategy Sprints and a master at helping leaders master resilience in times of uncertainty by navigating complexity with confidence and intention.
From his home base in Vienna, Simon brings a refreshingly practical approach to leadership that blends endurance athlete discipline with entrepreneurial agility. He cuts through the noise about strategy with striking clarity: "You can be the fastest person in a marathon, but if you're running in the wrong direction, that's not helpful." What leaders truly need is velocity—speed with the right direction.
The Strategy Sprints method he's developed tackles this challenge head-on. Every Monday, team members identify their most crucial task. By Friday, they report what they've accomplished and—perhaps most importantly—what they've learned from their mistakes. This creates what Simon calls "positive loops" that generate energy rather than depleting it, a concept he's successfully implemented across twenty different industries.
What makes Simon's approach particularly valuable in today's environment is his emphasis on decision-making under uncertainty. He challenges the traditional leadership model of exhaustive planning and analysis, arguing instead for experiential learning and quick adaptation. Leaders today face a radically compressed timeline, often making twenty decisions per hour with incomplete information. To navigate this reality, Simon recommends tracking decisions with probability assessments and developing an emotional reset capacity that allows you to move forward without carrying baggage from previous decisions.
The framework is elegantly simple: maintain only a rough three-year vision and laser focus on weekly execution. Everything in between is deliberately eliminated. This creates the space for both strategic direction and tactical agility—exactly what today's unpredictable business environment demands.
Ready to transform how you lead through uncertainty? Explore Simon's approach through his book "Strategy Sprints" or visit his website where you can experience his methodology firsthand with a seven-day free trial. Your team's resilience, clarity, and impact may depend on it.
I'd love to hear from you! Send a text message.
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Problem solving might be the most underrated leadership skill – one we use daily but rarely examine critically. How much time do you spend tackling problems each week? And more importantly, how many of those "problems" are actually legitimate issues versus complaints, venting, or whining?
This episode challenges leaders to distinguish between genuine problems (those with measurable gaps and consequences) and vague complaints that lack substance. A real problem sounds like "Our turnover is 20% above industry standard" rather than "Our morale sucks." Without this crucial distinction, we waste valuable time and energy on issues that can't be meaningfully addressed.
The 1-3-1 model offers a streamlined approach to problem solving: identify the specific problem, generate creative solutions that break from conventional thinking, and implement effectively. But the most surprising insight might be how our brains form problem-solving patterns early in our careers that become automatic – meaning we solve problems the same way for decades without evaluating whether our approach still works. Even worse, by positioning yourself as the ultimate problem-solver, you might unwittingly create "learned helplessness" in your team, undermining their growth while overwhelming yourself.
Critical thinking emerges as the foundation of effective problem solving – focusing on logic rather than emotion, eliminating biases, and recognizing that decision-making is its own discipline with various approaches suited to different situations. Are you using the right decision-making style for each challenge? Ready to transform your approach?
Take our new course in Intentional Problem Solving available now: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/intentional-problem-solving-leaders-course
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Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
In this thought-provoking conversation, Jill, a 14-year entrepreneurship faculty member at Madison College, reveals how traits like resilience, adaptability, and problem-solving create exceptional leaders regardless of their role.
With employee disengagement at record highs and workplace stress permeating organizations, Jill's approach offers a refreshing alternative. Through her newly-launched consulting company Sync, she's addressing the critical gap between what organizations say they value and what they actually practice through systems and processes. The conversation delves into why emotional intelligence ranks as the projected #1 skill employers will seek by 2025, and why most leaders believe they're more self-aware than they actually are.
"Words matter, but words are only words. We have to take action," Jill explains, highlighting the disconnect in organizations that claim to prioritize well-being but lack meaningful systems to support it. She shares wisdom gained from years teaching students to develop entrepreneurial thinking, and how these same principles create cultures where people genuinely thrive rather than merely survive.
The discussion explores vulnerability as a leadership strength, the importance of aligning words with actions, and practical approaches to measuring cultural transformation. For leaders feeling stuck in bureaucracy or teams struggling with connection, this conversation offers both inspiration and tactical insights for creating purpose-driven environments where emotional intelligence drives success.
Whether you're leading a team, building a business, or simply looking to develop greater agency in your career, you'll gain valuable perspectives on cultivating the entrepreneurial mindset as your competitive advantage in today's complex workplace.
Get in touch with Jill: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jill-huizenga-385b941b/
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Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
DOWNLOAD FREE GUIDE: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/manage-time-maximize-life
The quest for perfect time management has led many of us down endless paths searching for the ideal system or tool that will magically organize our chaotic lives. But what if we've been approaching the problem entirely wrong? What if time management isn't about managing time at all, but rather about managing our brains?
Time itself is merely a social construct—a way to organize our existence on this planet. The real challenge lies in how we think about time and the choices we make regarding its use. Oliver Burkeman's perspective in "4,000 Weeks" (the approximate lifespan of someone who lives to 80) offers a sobering reminder that our time is finite, forcing us to consider whether we're spending our limited weeks on what truly matters.
The Eisenhower Time Matrix provides a practical framework for evaluating our activities through two crucial lenses: urgency and importance. While many of us excel at handling urgent and important matters (Quadrant 1), we often neglect important but not urgent activities (Quadrant 2) like strategic planning, relationship building, and health maintenance—until they become crises. Meanwhile, we waste countless hours on activities that are neither important nor urgent (Quadrant 4), or become addicted to other people's urgencies (Quadrant 3), mistaking busyness for productivity and importance.
Perhaps most destructive is our tendency to multitask. Despite what many believe about their abilities, research consistently shows that multitasking damages our cognitive capital both short and long term. Instead, single-tasking with full presence—whether in work or with loved ones—proves far more effective. Techniques like the Pomodoro method can help train our brains to focus intently for short periods before taking earned breaks, dramatically improving both productivity and presence.
The path forward involves small, consistent habit changes that gradually transform our relationship with time. By becoming more intentional about our attention, establishing healthy boundaries around urgency, and aligning our daily actions with our core values, we can reclaim control over our 4,000 weeks and live with greater purpose and less stress. Share this episode with someone who needs to hear this message, and remember: you have complete control over your most valuable resource—your attention.
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Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
In this episode of the Intentional Leaders Podcast, host Cyndi Wentland engages in a compelling conversation with Cheryl Fields Tyler, founder and CEO of Blue Beyond Consulting. They delve into the intricacies of building a thriving workplace culture, emphasizing the balance between high expectations and deep trust. Cheryl shares insights on supporting mid-level managers, redefining employee well-being, and viewing leadership as a sacred responsibility. This discussion offers valuable perspectives for leaders aiming to foster environments where both individuals and organizations can flourish.
Cheryl Fields Taylor
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cherylfieldsty...
Intentionaleaders:
https://www.intentionaleaders.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/cyndi-wentland...
Leadership #WorkplaceCulture #EmployeeWellBeing #TrustInLeadership #MidLevelManagement #BlueBeyondConsulting #IntentionalLeadersPodcast #CyndiWentland #CherylFieldsTyler
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Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Imagine a world where fear no longer dictates your career choices and leadership potential. Dr. Benjamin Ritter, author of "Becoming Fearless," joins us to unravel the intricate barriers leaders face when aligning their careers with their true values. With his insightful exploration of the three C's of self-leadership—clarity, confidence, and control—Dr. Ritter provides a roadmap to overcome the stifling fears of job loss, looking foolish, or failing. In our conversation, we unlock the secret to transforming fear from a paralyzing force into an enlightening guide, empowering leaders to achieve their highest potential.
Delving into personal narratives, he shares his journey through career setbacks and toxic work environments, underscoring the importance of resilience and a growth mindset. This episode serves as a testament to the power of adaptability and highlights actionable strategies for personal growth, including how verbalizing thoughts can break mental loops and challenge unhelpful beliefs.
We wrap up with a powerful discussion on reframing fear and embracing fearlessness in both personal and professional realms. Dr. Ritter's transformative strategies inspire us to craft work environments that nurture individual success and satisfaction.
Intentionaleaders:
https://www.intentionaleaders.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/cyndi-wentland-9822012/
Dr. Benjamin Ritter:
https://www.instagram.com/drbenjaminritter/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/drbenjaminritter-leadershipdevelopment
https://www.liveforyourselfconsulting.com/
https://www.liveforyourselfconsulting.com/becomingfearless
FearlessLeader #LeadershipSkills #LeadershipDevelopment #FearlessLeadership #PersonalGrowth #ProfessionalDevelopment #LeadershipCoaching #ExecutiveCoaching #StrategicLeadership #VisionaryLeadership #LeadingWithConfidence #Empowerment #InspirationForLeaders #ConfidenceBuilding #SelfEmpowerment #BusinessLeaders #Entrepreneurship #CareerGrowth #CorporateLeadership #LeadershipMindset #BenjaminRitter #LeadershipInterview #FearlessMindset #LeadingTeams
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Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Dr. Britt Andreatta, a luminary in leadership and neuroscience, graces our latest episode with her wealth of knowledge. She recounts her transition from academia to the world of corporate learning and development, offering a unique blend of scientific insight and practical application. Britt's journey illustrates her fearless pursuit of leadership development. Her story is a testament to how understanding the brain can unlock potential, both in personal development and in shaping effective leadership practices.
Listeners will gain a fresh perspective on how neuroscience can empower us to navigate challenges and lead with purpose, especially in a world still adjusting to remote work and shifting priorities. Britt's extensive research and four thoughtful books provide a roadmap for leaders aiming to thrive amid these changes. Her insights encourage us to adopt an experimental mindset, understand when to persevere, and recognize when it’s time to pivot.
For those eager to expand their leadership skills, Britt's website and publications are rich resources waiting to be explored. Join us as we unravel the intricacies of leadership with one of the field's most insightful voices.
Social Media Links:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/brittandreatta
https://twitter.com/BrittAndreatta
https://www.instagram.com/brittandreatta/
https://www.brittandreatta.com/presskit/www.youtube.com/@BrittAndreatta
https://www.facebook.com/brittandreatta
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Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
What if your leadership legacy isn't something you leave behind, but something you give away every day? Join me, as we explore how you can start crafting your legacy from day one by focusing on core values, trust-building, and empowering your team. Research highlights that employees are more engaged and loyal when they feel a strong connection to their leader's vision; hence, your legacy can be an essential catalyst for driving a thriving work culture.
Reflect on the qualities and values that you want to define your leadership and ensure your daily actions align with this vision. Whether you're at the start of your career or a seasoned leader, this episode offers actionable insights on empowering your team to uphold shared values, extending your influence, and fostering an environment where creativity and accountability can flourish. Spare just 15 minutes this week to pinpoint or revisit your core values, and see how this intentional practice can enhance your leadership effectiveness. Share these insights with fellow leaders, and together, create a positive and lasting impact that endures through your collective actions and values.
I'd love to hear from you! Send a text message.
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Discover the untapped potential of introverted leaders and transform your perception of leadership with our latest episode. Introverts often face misconceptions of being too quiet or uninspiring, but we promise to change that narrative by highlighting their remarkable strengths. You'll learn how introverts excel through their exceptional listening skills, authenticity, and strategic thinking. We challenge traditional leadership stereotypes and share personal anecdotes and strategies that help introverted leaders not just survive but thrive in leadership roles.
Join us as we celebrate introverted leadership and encourage leaders to embrace their nature as a formidable strength. We delve into practical strategies for introverts, such as preparing for interactions, setting boundaries for recharging, and collaborating effectively with extroverts. Our goal is to inspire leaders to see introversion not as a limitation but as a tool that can enhance leadership effectiveness and leave a lasting impact on teams and organizations. Tune in and be part of this empowering conversation, and don't miss the chance to share these insights with others to broaden the appreciation of introverted leadership strengths.
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Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
In this episode, we explore the powerful role of humor in enhancing leadership effectiveness, emphasizing how laughter can connect people, relieve stress, and inspire creativity. We discuss actionable strategies for incorporating humor into leadership without losing professionalism or respect.
• The importance of humor as a leadership tool
• How laughter creates connection and reduces stress
• Self-deprecating humor as a means of vulnerability
• The role of emotional intelligence in utilizing humor
• Using humor as an icebreaker in team environments
• Strategies for tailoring humor to diverse audiences
• Avoiding negative humor to maintain credibility
• Encouraging leaders to embrace humor in their interactions
• The potential of humor to improve workplace morale and productivity
• Humor as a way to create shared experiences within teams
I'd love to hear from you! Send a text message.
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
What if our relentless pursuit of productivity is actually holding us back from a truly fulfilling life? Discover how Oliver Berkman's "4,000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals" challenges the traditional notions of time management by advocating for a more intentional and meaningful approach to how we spend our finite time on Earth. We dive into transformative ideas that encourage us to let go of the unrealistic quest for perfect productivity and to embrace the power of prioritizing what truly matters. By acknowledging our limitations and accepting the discomfort of incompleteness, we can break free from the stress of never-ending to-do lists and enjoy a more grounded, intentional existence.
Join us as we explore the art of living fully in the present, whether at work or home, and learn how to savor life's simple pleasures. We'll discuss five key concepts from Berkman's book, including the liberation that comes with focusing on the richness of each moment rather than on relentless achievements. Our conversation highlights how endless multitasking can rob us of meaningful experiences and how rethinking time management with intention can lead to a more focused and less stressful life. Tune in to discover how you can prioritize what truly counts in your limited time and foster a more deliberate, satisfying journey.
I'd love to hear from you! Send a text message.
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Can trust really be given rather than earned? Join us in challenging conventional wisdom as we unpack the transformative power of trust within leadership. Explore the compelling reasons why starting with a mindset of trust can serve as the cornerstone for building respect, enhancing performance, and fostering a collaborative environment. By flipping the script on trust, leaders can empower team members to take initiative, feel valued, and engage in open, transparent communication. This episode reveals how this shift can lead to stronger relationships, accelerated rapport, and heightened loyalty—key ingredients for effective leadership.
We'll dive into the crucial link between trust, risk-taking, and innovation. When leaders extend trust freely, they create an atmosphere where individuals feel liberated to step out of their comfort zones and embrace creativity without fear of negative consequences. Discover how embracing trust as a foundational element of leadership can inspire authenticity and a shared commitment to success. Tune in and transform your leadership approach to cultivate a more empowered and engaged team, equipped to tackle challenges and drive innovation.
I'd love to hear from you! Send a text message.
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Grief in the workplace is often a difficult subject to address, but imagine the profound transformation that empathetic leadership can bring. Maureen Desmond, a coach and consultant, joins us to share her remarkable journey from a successful media career to a calling that helps leaders manage change, loss, and grief with compassion. Her personal story, marked by the tragic loss of her sister early in her life, has been a guiding light in shaping her empathetic approach to leadership. We uncover how Maureen’s life experiences have uniquely positioned her to support C-suite leaders and HR professionals, making emotional intelligence a pivotal skill in their arsenal.
Leaders often shy away from addressing grief due to discomfort, leaving those who grieve feeling even more isolated. Maureen and I discuss why it’s critical to embrace the discomfort, normalize emotional expressions, and foster open, empathetic conversations in the workplace. Through Maureen's insights, we examine the transformative power of empathy and the importance of building a culture that values emotional well-being. We highlight practical steps leaders can take to educate themselves and their teams, promoting a supportive environment that not only acknowledges grief but also facilitates healing and connection.
The challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic have shown us the importance of resilience and intentionality in leadership. In this episode, we explore stories of strength and growth. Maureen exemplifies intentional leadership by putting empathy and active listening at the forefront, teaching us the value of presence in leadership roles. Finally, we encourage leaders to plan for emotional contingencies as meticulously as they would for operational ones, fostering a compassionate culture that supports both personal and professional growth. Don't miss our conversation about how intention and empathy can transform organizational dynamics.
Find Maureeen here: https://www.navigatingchangeandloss.com/about-us/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/maureendesmond/
I'd love to hear from you! Send a text message.
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Have you ever stopped to consider the true cost of venting at work? Join me on the Intentional Leaders Podcast as we unravel the surprising ways venting can sabotage not just your career, but also the morale and trust within your team. This episode isn't just about identifying the problem—it's a guide to transforming that urge to rant into opportunities for constructive change and leadership. By understanding the root causes of why we vent, we can break free from the cycle of negativity and learn to address issues head-on, fostering healthier communication and a more positive workplace environment.
Discover practical strategies to shift from being a passive complainer to an active problem-solver, and learn how to cultivate an atmosphere of mutual respect and open dialogue. Venting might offer momentary relief, but I'll show you how it traps us in a loop of unresolved issues and cognitive distortions. Together, let's move towards enhancing productivity and morale by addressing conflicts directly and constructively. This episode is your toolkit for leading with intention, influence, and integrity—no matter your position. Don't miss out on these insights that can transform not just your work life, but your leadership journey as well.
I'd love to hear from you! Send a text message.
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Unlock the secrets to a more grounded and productive workplace with our enlightening discussion with Lori Seitz of Zen Rabbit. How can the simple act of expressing gratitude transform leadership and team dynamics for the better? Lori reveals her insights and shares some compelling statistics on how gratitude can drastically boost employee morale, productivity, and retention.
Struggling with stress and looking for effective ways to manage it? Lori and Cyndi delve into the benefits of meditation and how integrating it into your daily routine can rewire your brain, enhance decision-making, and improve relationships. Hear about Lori's journey through the ups and downs of her Zen Rabbit cookie business and how gratitude and meditation practices help her navigate stressful times. Cyndi also shares her own success story with a 12-minute daily meditation habit, demonstrating tangible improvements in her sleep and overall well-being.
Discover practical, actionable advice on simple wellness habits that can lead to significant changes in your professional and personal life. Visit ZenRabbit.com for additional insights and tips on cultivating work-life balance, and join us in celebrating Lori's impactful contributions to personal and professional growth.
Find Lori here: https://zenrabbit.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/lorisaitz/
I'd love to hear from you! Send a text message.
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
I'd love to hear from you! Send a text message.
Can regret actually be a powerful tool for growth and clarity? Join us as we unravel the surprising benefits of regret with insights from Daniel Pink's latest book, "The Power of Regret." Inspired by Pink's compelling presentation at the Association for Talent Development conference, we explore how regret can help us refine our values and improve decision-making. Pink's extensive research, including the enlightening World Regret Survey, reveals four core categories of regret: foundational, boldness, moral, and connection. Learn how to process these regrets to turn them into actionable insights for both personal and professional development.
Reflecting on past regrets can be a powerful catalyst for future success. In this episode, we emphasize the importance of staying connected with loved ones and how self-reflection can lead to better life choices. Drawing from Pink's findings, we encourage listeners to participate in the World Regret Survey and write down their own regrets to gain valuable perspectives. This practice not only minimizes future regrets but also fosters a stronger sense of personal empowerment. Don't miss out on this transformative discussion that promises to reshape your understanding of regret and its potential to enhance your life.
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
I'd love to hear from you! Send a text message.
Ever wondered what it takes to stay committed to one organization for over three decades? Join us for an exclusive conversation with Corey Chambas, CEO of First Business Bank, as he uncovers the secrets behind his impressive 30-year tenure. Corey shares his thoughts on the dynamic environment and the unique camaraderie at the bank that have kept him engaged and loyal. Get to know the personal side of Corey as he discusses his hobbies, particularly collecting aged beers, and how these passions fuel his leadership.
Unlock the secrets of fostering a culture of innovation and growth as we dive into the importance of embracing change within an organization. Corey emphasizes the power of psychological safety and honest communication in encouraging risk-taking and learning from failures. Discover how First Business Bank creates opportunities for employee growth and attracts top talent by maintaining a balance between successful initiatives and lessons learned from those that don’t work. This chapter is filled with actionable insights for anyone looking to drive innovation and improve overall performance in their organization.
Corey also reveals the core values that define First Business Bank's culture and how they align with the principles from "The Ideal Team Player." Explore the traits of humble, hungry and smart that are crucial for recruitment, coaching, and performance management. Hear Corey’s heartfelt reflections on the importance of servant leadership and the distinction between wanting to "be" a manager versus wanting to "do" the job. With over 30 years of dedication, Corey’s insights offer a profound look at the collective effort needed to maintain a positive workplace culture where actions truly speak louder than words. Tune in for a deep dive into leadership, organizational values, and the keys to sustained success.
Find Corey here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/coreychambas/
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
I'd love to hear from you! Send a text message.
Have you ever wondered why we feel the emotions we do and how we can harness them for personal and professional growth? This week, we sit down with Charles M. Jones, a leading emotion scientist and the visionary behind the Jones Theory of Emotion and Emotional Decoding. Charles shares a compelling story about a near-miss accident in the Alps that sparked his lifelong quest to understand and decode human emotions. His insights into the naturalness of flow states, the impact of developmental trauma, and the ways emotions arise in response to external events are nothing short of groundbreaking.
We delve into the concept of emotional victimhood and the critical importance of taking ownership of our emotions and needs. Charles outlines strategies for identifying and fulfilling subconscious needs, which are crucial for emotional self-sufficiency and personal growth. This discussion provides practical tools for developing an evolving emotional "operating system" that can transform how we navigate life's challenges, fostering growth and resilience.
Leaders, take note: emotional responsibility isn't just a personal development tool; it's a game-changer for workplace culture and leadership effectiveness. Charles emphasizes how empathetic leadership can revolutionize team dynamics by fostering environments where tough conversations lead to increased accountability and innovation. By understanding and addressing the underlying needs behind emotions, leaders can enhance their competencies and drive better organizational outcomes. Tune in for an episode rich with scientific insights and practical strategies for mastering emotional intelligence.
Find Charles here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/charlesmj/
And his website here: https://www.charlesmjones.com/
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
I'd love to hear from you! Send a text message.
Ever wonder how maintaining a beginner's mindset can transform your leadership journey? In this episode, we promise you'll learn how embracing openness, curiosity, and a lack of preconceptions can not only enrich your professional growth but also strengthen your leadership abilities. Sharing my personal experiences from the Association for Talent Development conference, we highlight the incredible value of humility, creativity, and innovation that comes from starting fresh.
Taking deliberate steps to practice a beginner's mindset, especially when you're accustomed to showcasing your expertise, can be challenging but immensely rewarding. Encouraging this mindset within your teams, particularly among newer members, can foster a dynamic and innovative environment. This episode delves into how a beginner's mindset promotes resilience and adaptability, allowing us to see failures as learning opportunities rather than setbacks. Don't miss this episode on cultivating a mindset that can lead to significant transformation in your career and leadership approach.
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
I'd love to hear from you! Send a text message.
Can understanding your strengths and values unlock your true potential? Join us as we welcome Sarah Viana, founder of Deliberately You, who transitioned from a successful HR career to a fulfilling journey in coaching. Sarah shares how her early experiences in a supportive organization sparked her passion for people development, ultimately leading her to immerse herself in a coaching community.
Discover the intriguing dynamics between strengths and values through the Values in Action (VIA) Inventory. Sarah provides personal insights and practical examples, revealing how strengths like kindness can reflect deeply held values. Learn about habit stacking as a method to develop lesser strengths by leveraging more dominant ones, and how balancing honesty with social intelligence can enhance effective and empathetic communication.
Maximizing leadership potential often hinges on meaningful connections and effective management of time and energy. The role of trust in leadership, aligning individual growth with organizational needs, and the necessity of difficult conversations are explored in depth. Sarah also highlights the importance of authenticity, presence, and intentionality in fostering impactful relationships, advocating for a life lived deliberately and with purpose.
Find Sarah here: Sarah (Walsh) Viana, ACC | LinkedIn
Home - Deliberately You
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
When the weight of a career in anesthesiology pushed Dr. Hibba Khaled to her breaking point, she didn't just bounce back; she reinvented herself as a beacon of hope for those suffocating under the burden of burnout. Join us for a discussion with Dr. Khaled, co-founder of Embers and a burnout recovery specialist, as she shares her transformative journey and the lessons she learned along the way. From her hands-on experience in Uganda to her scholarly pursuits at Harvard, Dr. Khaled's path is a lesson in turning personal struggle into a lifeline for others.
Dr. Khaled's story is more than just a narrative; it's a roadmap for navigating career transitions with purpose and integrity. Her candid reflection on the tough choices that have shaped her life, including the decision to walk away from a coveted position, offers a rare glimpse into the heart of someone who has courageously defied convention, and the expectations of others.
This episode provides a glimpse at the mechanics of burnout and the possibility of crafting a fulfilling life. Dr. Khaled breaks down the factors contributing to our burnout epidemic—misaligned values, toxic work environments, and the perpetual push for perfection. But more than that, she discusses the tools to reclaim our sense of self, emphasizing the role of mindfulness, grounding techniques, and finding our joy.
Find Hiba here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-hiba-khaled/
And her business here: https://www.emberscc.com/
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Ever wondered how some leaders seem to effortlessly inspire and guide with clarity? Unlock the secrets to maintaining your cool under pressure with our dive into psychiatrist Daniel Siegel's window of tolerance concept. Our discussion zeroes in on the sweet spot of composure—the zone where we're neither overwhelmed nor disengaged—and why it's crucial for leaders and individuals alike to operate within this range.
This episode will reveal how the brain's incredible plasticity can be harnessed to expand your window of tolerance and build emotional resilience. As we dissect the role of the prefrontal cortex in managing stress and maintaining cognitive function, you'll come to understand how your own stress responses can either serve or hinder you in high-stakes situations, particularly in the aftermath of shared traumas like the pandemic.
If you're looking to enhance your ability to face pressures with grace and inspire those around you, tune in for insights that could reshape your response to stress forever.
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Anita Cobb's story is one of remarkable transformation, and in our latest episode, this pioneering leader from Mead & Hunt brings you a narrative that's as empowering as it is enlightening. From her evolution in finance to becoming a champion of diversity and inclusion in the aviation sector, Anita exemplifies what it means to turn adversity into opportunity. Her candid conversation with us illuminates the importance of a people-first approach in the realms of architecture, engineering, and construction, and how it leads to more inclusive design and technology advancements.
Anita's resilience is also a beacon for anyone navigating personal tribulations. Her openness in discussing her struggles with substance abuse and domestic violence adds a layer of depth to her advocacy for transparency and collaboration in the workplace. This episode is not just about overcoming challenges but also about the power of supportive networks and the courage to be vulnerable, which Anita believes can transform workplace culture and foster personal growth.
As our conversation with Anita draws to a close, she reflects on the inner pillars that keep her steadfast—the 'verticals'. Anita's journey inspires a call to authenticity, gratitude, and intentional leadership, proving that every one of us has the potential to be an unstoppable force for change. If Anita's story resonates with you, join us in this episode for a deep connection with one of aviation equity's most inspiring figures.
Find Anita here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anita-cobb-mba/
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Krystal Westfahl, the President of the Minocqua Visitors Bureau, takes us through the scenic routes of her career journey. Her story, as diverse as the Northwoods she champions, reveals how a degree in natural resources and a formative interaction with WWII veterans charted her course towards nonprofit leadership. Krystal's narrative is a refreshing reminder that embracing every turn with joy and authenticity can lead to a fulfilling life's work, deeply rooted in community service.
She divulges the intricate balance of being an authentic leader, the psychology behind effective communication, and the courage it takes to show up as one's true self, blue hair, cowboy boots and all. Our conversation with Krystal is a masterclass in community-focused leadership, highlighting the dance between authenticity and the strategic cultivation of trust.
As you explore this episode, expect to be transported to the heart of Wisconsin, where the charm of supper clubs and the allure of outdoor adventure come together into a tapestry of tourism and community. Krystal illustrates that serving one's community is a hands-on affair, rooted in a genuine love for the place you call home. Through her eyes, we learn the grace of servant leadership, and the undeniable joy that springs from creating positive experiences for ourselves and others. Join us for an episode that's as much about discovering the essence of Wisconsin as it is about uncovering the heart of true leadership.
Find Krystal here:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/krystalwestfahl/
And discover the Minocqua Area: https://www.minocqua.org/
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Discover the surprising truth about self-awareness and its profound impact on leadership effectiveness as we unravel the disconnect between perception and reality. In this episode, we shed light on the critical role introspection and conscious change play in enhancing our leadership qualities. We've all heard that self-awareness is key, but how many of us truly understand the depth of our own consciousness? This episode promises to expose the surprising statistics from Harvard Research Group that reveal just how few people are as self-aware as they think they are. As we navigate through the intricate maze of our subconscious minds, we learn how this hidden pilot shapes our decisions, relationships, and everyday actions, often without our conscious recognition.
Self-awareness is more than about recognizing our strengths and weaknesses; it's about committing to the challenging task of aligning our innermost identities and purposes with our daily lives. Learn how mindfulness, soliciting feedback, and journaling can open doors to a heightened sense of self, and why carving out time for these practices is essential for anyone, especially leaders, seeking personal and professional growth. Join us as we explore the intricacies of empathy, communication, and the myriad ways in which self-awareness influences our capacity to lead and connect with others. And don't forget to peruse my blog for more in-depth discussions and resources on this transformative topic.
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
When Justine Beauregard, a powerhouse in sales coaching, shares her entrepreneurial journey from youth, it's not just a conversation—it's a lesson in creating a legacy. Justine's narrative, steeped in the entrepreneurial spirit passed down from her family, echoes the resilience required to leap into business ownership and the crucial role of self-evaluation, accountability, and goal-setting in steering a venture to victory.
This episode is your invitation to redefine what growth means to you, to consider how every choice and action contributes to the legacy you're actively constructing. Your personal and professional brand.
The art of personal branding and the evolution of leadership aren't just buzzwords—they're chapters in the playbook of professionals aiming for their peak and purpose. In our conversation, we explore how to carve out a compelling presence without forgoing authenticity, and we tackle the challenge of crafting sales messages that strike a chord with various stakeholders. Embrace the wisdom shared in this episode, and chart your own course toward creating a legacy that's as memorable as it is meaningful.
Find Justine here:
Sell in Ways You Actually Enjoy | Justine Beauregard
Justine's Podcast
justinejbeauregard@gmail.com
LinkedIn
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Unlock the transformative power of a leadership mindset that transcends titles and roles. Join us for 5 shifts to get in touch with mindset, which impacts our daily behaviors and actions. We delve into the essence of self-awareness, not just skimming the surface of our strengths and weaknesses, but probing into the subconscious forces that drive our actions. In this episode, we debunk the myth that empathy is a fixed trait and showcase it as a skill that can be cultivated to nurture an environment of inclusivity and respect.
This conversation also serves as a call for leaders to inspire trust and have the bravery to let go of the reins, empowering their team members to reach new heights. Reflect on your leadership style and make intentional choices that will affect your legacy today.
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Strolling through the corridors of corporate America, I once found myself wearing a mask that didn't quite fit. It was only after peeling back the layers of expected conformity that I discovered the transformative power of authenticity. Join me on a journey through the heart of genuine leadership, where we examine the delicate balance between professionalism and being your true self. Inspired by Brené Brown's insights on true belonging, our conversation is an invitation to embrace self-acceptance and the courage it takes to present our authentic selves, exploring how this self-honesty can dramatically reduce stress and enhance our effectiveness as leaders.
We delve into the intricacies of how the values instilled in us as children, like my own youthful defiance of authority, shape the principles we carry into adulthood and the way we forge connections. During our discussion, you'll witness the unfiltered version of myself that I bring to my leadership training sessions with Intentionaleaders, aiming to inspire a similar level of candor and transparency. We explore the reciprocal nature of authenticity and its fundamental role in cultivating trust and a genuine sense of belonging in relationships, promising a narrative that challenges and inspires you to consistently present your best and most genuine self in every interaction.
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Have you ever witnessed a leader transform a conflict into an opportunity for growth? That's exactly the kind of transformation Karen Knab, former marriage and family therapist turned leadership coach, specializes in. Her journey from passive to assertive leadership is inspiring; it's a masterclass for anyone at the helm of a business or team. In our candid conversation, Karen dissects the challenges of progressing in her career and how she gained the necessary tools for effective management and decision-making, providing a mirror for us to examine our own leadership style.
It's a common myth that career success and interpersonal skills go hand in hand – but Karen is here to set the record straight. We strip down the nature of conflict to its core, revealing it as a neutral event ripe with potential for positive outcomes if navigated correctly. With Karen's insights, we explore how creating a non-judgmental space for vulnerability leads to stronger client and colleague relationships. This episode redefines conflict resolution, advocating for a shift in perspective towards embracing diverse experiences and responses as a pathway to personal and professional growth.
In the realm of leadership, empathy emerges as a non-negotiable trait. Karen and I share in our perspective that it is an essential quality of a human-centric work culture. For those ready to lead with integrity, courage, and empathy, Karen's insights and the resources discussed in this episode offer a beacon of hope and guidance on your leadership journey.
Find Karen here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karen-knab/
https://karenknab.com/
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
What if I told you that you're not as competent as you think you are? Sounds provocative, right? But that's what the Dunning-Kruger effect is all about - overestimating our own abilities while underestimating those of others. This cognitive bias can blind us to our limitations, skew decision-making processes, and make us less receptive to feedback. As leaders, it's imperative to recognize and mitigate this bias. We'll discuss examples demonstrating how Dunning-Kruger effects leadership and explore the importance of self-awareness in counteracting it.
Now, let's switch gears. Imagine if you could enhance your leadership qualities simply by being open to feedback. We're talking about intellectual and emotional humility, folks! An open mind can counter the Dunning-Kruger effect and propel your personal and professional growth. We'll explore how embracing feedback can transform you into a more effective leader. So, ready your mind for a healthy dose of self-reflection and the possibility of learning from others. After all, we're all on this journey to become better versions of ourselves. Let's navigate it together!
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Have you ever pondered the qualities of an effective leader and the difference they can make? This episode brings you insights straight from the heart of Rebekah Sweeney, Senior Director of Programs and Policy at the Wisconsin Cheese Makers Association. Rebekah, with her background in news and politics, unveils her unique leadership journey and shares some indispensable lessons. She discusses the power of problem-solving over arguing, and the lasting influence of working for a mentor that you respect and admire.
A crucial part of leadership that often goes unnoticed is the importance of authenticity and purpose. Rebekah shares her personal experiences, underscoring the significance of positivity, transparency, and self-awareness in the workspace. Hear how the joy of serving others and celebrating their victories, can instill a sense of fulfillment and purpose in your career.
With a focus on her intended legacy at the Wisconsin Cheese Makers Association and in life, we explore the pivotal role of caring and supporting her team and Association members in achieving this vision. This enriching conversation sheds light on working relationships, daily support, and the legacy we craft every day. Prepare to be inspired and empowered!
Find Rebekah here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebekah-sweeney-0b485125/
And WCMA education: https://www.wischeesemakersassn.org/trainings
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Can leadership evolution be compared to assembling a charcuterie board? Surprisingly, yes! Join me as we slice into the future of leadership and the crucial shifts needed in a post-pandemic world. My current fascination with charcuterie boards serves as a unique metaphor in our discussion, and we'll unpack how the ingredients of effective leadership are as varied and complex as those on the board. With insights from the book "The Empathy Edge," we delve into the shifts in the workforce and what employees are now seeking.
We'll explore facilitating leadership with strategic empathy. This isn't about following a recipe, but rather, thoughtfully combining flavors that cater to the dynamics and tastes of your team. So, grab your cheese knife and join us for this episode. Don't forget to check out our intentional leadership blog for even more robust flavors to enhance your leadership palate.
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Imagine understanding the complexities of writing about climate change and American migration in a way so clear, it's like you're looking through a freshly cleaned window. That's the experience Jake Biddle, author of The Great Displacement, provides in this enlightening chat. Jake highlights his background, the intersection of climate change and journalism, revealing how his work has been ignited by a motivation to take action on complex topics. We track his two-year journey of research and writing, while discussing the key role humility plays in journalism.
Jake unravels the importance of curiosity, humility, and the willingness to meet people where they are. He paints a vivid picture of the mindset of value creation, placing oneself secondary to generate value in the world. It's fascinating to learn how building trust and rapport with strangers is crucial in navigating the journalism landscape. Jake's insights into taking a complicated subject like climate change and making it more comprehensible are truly inspiring.
What does it mean to leave a legacy in writing? Jake shares his aspirations for his work's enduring impact and the importance of storytelling. As a freelancer, Jake reveals that it's not all smooth sailing. The pressure of being a freelance writer, the need to stay on mission, and the power of part-time work are all part of the journey. Our dialogue ends with an exciting promise - Jake's return to the podcast upon the release of his next book. This episode is a treasure trove of insights on climate change, journalism, and leadership.
Find Jake here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jake-bittle-6a736093/
Purchase: The Great Displacement
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Has it ever crossed your mind that holding back your thoughts could be damaging your personal and professional relationships? Or that your well-intentioned feedback could be doing more harm than good? Join us in our latest podcast episode where we dissect the art of giving feedback, and how it plays a crucial role in our interactions. We venture into the realm of candidness - a quality largely admired and sought after in flourishing individuals and teams. Our discussion highlights the risks of withholding your thoughts and the potentially negative domino effect it can have on our relationships, personal development, and overall growth.
But feedback isn't just about speaking your mind, it's about doing it respectfully. We delve into how to master this fine balance. Delving further, we explore the various reactions people have to feedback, providing a fascinating insight into human dynamics. From playing the victim to avoiding confrontation altogether, we dissect the spectrum of reactions and how understanding these responses can enhance our communication skills. So, are you ready to challenge the traditional paradigms of feedback and candor? It's time to cultivate a culture that encourages growth, respect, and openness.
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Ever felt voiceless and choiceless in your career? Wondered how to navigate the complex power dynamics in business? Join me today as I chat with Anita Miller, a certified coach and a role model of confidence and career success. Anita generously shares her inspiring journey, from the corporate world to entrepreneurship, highlighting the critical lessons she learned during her challenging times, particularly the power of asking for help and valuing strong support systems.
As we journey through the conversation, Anita and I explore the significance of building a community when transitioning from corporates to startups and how we can reclaim our power and voice. Our discussion deepens into how our beliefs about power can make us feel voiceless and choiceless, and how we can break those barriers to find our authentic voice, and the confidence to succeed. We further delve into the intricate dynamics of power in business and the role diversity and inclusion play in shaping a more equitable workspace.
Anita enlightens us with insightful strategies to navigate these power dynamics, the role thoughts play in shaping our self-beliefs, and how we can cultivate authenticity in our work. We wrap up with a powerful discussion on Anita's journey to success and how she is fostering personal and professional agency in others, through her coaching work. So tune in, and get ready to be inspired, and who knows, you might find a new perspective that could change your career trajectory.
Find Anita: https://sisyouareworthy.com/
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
What happens when you sit down with a seasoned leader and let the conversation flow? I found out in a recent chat with Jim Matheson, CEO of NRECA (National Rural Electric Cooperative Association), where he generously shares his insights from years at the helm, and what primarily drives his leadership strategy. This episode is teeming with revelations, particularly around the power of communication in leadership - a refreshing and much-needed perspective amidst the often polarized rhetoric of today's world.
He shares the challenges and opportunities that lie within the industry, and how balancing the immediate problems with a clear vision for the future can lead to meaningful conversations, smart decisions, and ultimately, a more secure future. Adding a whole new layer to the dialogue, Jim emphasized the importance of vulnerability and leveraging the intellectual capabilities of your team - priceless leadership nuggets for us all to consider.
When it comes to building a mission-driven culture and fostering employee engagement, Jim's approach is focused. Packed with practical wisdom on managing the dynamics of hybrid work and the invaluable lessons he's learned from influential leaders, including his parents, this conversation is a testament to the power of open mindedness and relentless learning. As we explore the concept of leadership mindsets, it became evident how vital it is to surround yourself with strong individuals, not shy away from asking questions, and consciously strive to learn from their experiences. This episode is more than just a conversation, it's an opportunity to learn from a leader who's making a difference, in an intentional way.
Find Jim here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jim-matheson-660132105/
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Check out BookClub here: https://www.bookclub.com/
Check out more about Jonathan here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jonathanwoahn/
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Ryan Gottfredson, Ph.D. is a cutting-edge leadership development author, researcher, and consultant. He helps organizations vertically develop their leaders primarily through a focus on mindsets. Ryan is the Wall Street Journal and USA Today best-selling author of Success Mindsets: The Key to Unlocking Greater Success in Your Life, Work, & Leadership and The Elevated Leader: Leveling Up Your Leadership Through Vertical Development.He is also a leadership professor at the College of Business and Economics at California State University-Fullerton.
Website: https://ryangottfredson.com/
Personal Mindset Assessment: https://ryangottfredson.com/personal-mindset-assessment
Vertical Development Assessment: https://ryangottfredson.com/vertical-development-assessment
The Elevated Leader: https://ryangottfredson.com/books/the-elevated-leader/
Success Mindsets: https://ryangottfredson.com/books/success-mindsets/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RyanGottfredsonPhD/
LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/ryangottfredson/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyTe4jL0cla-U_Y4lqjc3-w
Twitter: https://twitter.com/RyanGottfredson
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryangottfredson/
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Find Kristin here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristinpolywacz/
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Find Francois here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/francois-brunet-2342152/
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Find Allie here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/allie-brawley-b6064b1/
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Find Adam here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adam-marsh-536304103/
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
What leadership characteristics does it take to be a phenomenal success in real estate? Check out this week’s Lessons Learned interview with the multi-talented Laurie Zoerb, as she shares her insights and the impact of her own first home buying experience. And if you want the best tour ever of Marco Island? She’s your tour guide!
Find Laurie here:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurie-zoerb/
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
If you've ever run through O'Hare airport, you know the uneasy feeling. Will you make it or not? But how many of us realize that we're running every day? Where are you going? And how will you know if you've arrived? At the airport, it's an easy answer, in life, not so much.
Check out my latest podcast and tell me where are you going?
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Here is a link to Wendy's contact information:
https://www.primerica.com/PrimericaRepPreview?rep=wsulzer&ver=I&flag=Y&num=(608)%20778-8591&origin=customInvest
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire GrowthTo sharpen your skills and increase your confidence, check out the Confident Leader Course: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/confident-leader
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire ***Growth
Check us out at: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cyndi-wentland-9822012
Facebook:*** https://www.facebook.com/cwentlandintentional/
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire ***Growth
Check us out at: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cyndi-wentland-9822012
Facebook:*** https://www.facebook.com/cwentlandintentional/
Be the Best Leader You Know Perform with Power, Lead with Impact, Inspire ***Growth
Check us out at: https://www.intentionaleaders.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cyndi-wentland-9822012
Facebook:*** https://www.facebook.com/cwentlandintentional/
Amber Gray, Founder & CEO of Trusty Oak Find her here:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/trustyoak/
Twitter: @TrustyOak
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/trustyoak/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/trusty-oak/
Amber Gray is the founder and CEO of Trusty Oak, an Austin-based virtual assistant company providing administrative and marketing support to small business leaders, authors, and creative teams. A people-first approach to hiring, along with a scalable growth model have positioned Trusty Oak as a flexible, dependable, and affordable alternative to hiring administrative and marketing employees. In 2021 and 2022, Trusty Oak was named Freelancer Hiring Platform of the Year, and in 2021 Amber was recognized as Austin Business Woman of the Year.
Before founding Trusty Oak, Amber spent five years at a rapidly growing digital agency based in Austin, TX. Four of those years, she was responsible for hiring and leading both local and virtual teams while working closely with clients ranging from CEOs to bestselling authors to build their brand online. As VP of Operations, Amber helped lead the company’s growth to #15 on Austin Business Journal’s Fast50 List in 2014.
As a female founder and leader of a company that has quickly established a recognizably special culture within a non-traditional workforce, Amber has energized and empowered women from diverse professional and personal backgrounds to go against the grain of historically standard female roles in business, technology, and leadership. Trusty Oak provides an opportunity for experienced admin and marketing professionals to work independently as freelancers, but with a supportive internal network consisting of other ambitious and resourceful remote workers.
More About Trusty Oak
Too many entrepreneurs are overworked, overwhelmed, and lonely. Trusty Oak is on a mission to combat small business burnout and get companies growing by connecting driven entrepreneurs with the best freelance virtual assistants in the U.S.
Trusty Oak’s purpose is to foster entrepreneurship and self-employment in the United States – for both small business owners and independent freelance workers across the country. With a passion for leadership and mentorship, the Trusty Oak team focuses on rounding up the very best virtual assistants in the business and is dedicated to providing reliable, high-quality virtual assistant services to the growing number of busy small business founders.
The Healthy Mind Platter:
by David Rock and Dr. Dan Siegel
- Sleep time
- Physical time
- Focus time
- Time in
- Down time
- Play time
- Connecting time
Rate yourself from 1-10 for each!
Listen to Katie's lessons while she shares insights on:
You took over as general counsel in a company where there was a lengthy runway to your role (aka Aaron Rodgers and Brett Favre). What were the key learnings of that transition time and what lessons prepared you the most?
What are the top 3 characteristics you think are most essential in leadership and the legal field?
What is a common misperception in your field (or about your field)?
There’s still a long run way in your career, what do you want to accomplish in the next 10 years either personally or professionally?
Find Katie at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/katie-henshue-87840361/
In episode 26 I talked about manuals. Manuals are the things we expect others to do and say, the way we think they should behave according to us. Our manual. The large volume, or volume set we have in our brains about how we are supposed to live and well, others should do the same.
If you haven’t listened, consider listening to that episode first. I’m going to build on it today.
In this episode though, I’m going to approach it from the perspective of a manager. Because the perspective is important. I have many “shoulds” for those around me, but the shoulds of my direct reports do matter because they are essentially the expectations I have, or the goals I have. And those do matter.
In leadership classes, and I may have referenced this before, I give participants a magic wand. I tell them that tomorrow their employees will be magically doing something differently in alignment with what they want more of and less of. I tell them to write those things down. Write a list of what you want: more of and less of. And you know what? It’s an easy task.
You get the idea. Last week I had a class that had an outstanding list, very specific and detailed behaviors. And as I was listening to the group, I thought, wow—wouldn’t that be amazing?
The reality is yes it would and yes it can be accomplished. With no magic wand needed. Because all these expectations can become a reality by using our words. Meaning getting these thoughts and expectations out of our heads, and into the heads of those around us.
Each of these expectations has an impact on the quality of our results. This is not about the judgements we have aka the manual for how others behave to be more like us, this is about affecting results.
We don’t need a magic wand to accomplish this.
So why are we not telling our employees very specifically what we expect? Those things in our heads that we so passionately want?
Explain the reasons we don't.
When we consider the impact of sharing our expectations in a collaborative manner? Think of the power. Consider this:
You’re having a team meeting...
This goes beyond merely stating my expectations. It gets to the heart of why I want it, what it means and how to get more of it. Rather than wishing and hoping it happens, or telling them and getting frustrated that well, I told them, why isn’t it happening. To really creating the environment to support the behaviors.
To modelling collaboration itself and showing them how to do it, coaching as we go.
Here are my nuggets:
· The manual is our list of shoulds for others, how they should behave according to us. This does not serve us well when it’s about our boss, our peers, our family members, our friends—because they get to do whatever they want to do to live their lives according to their own manual.
· The exception is employees (and our children living at home, when we set boundaries on what is expected). Because our job is to influence their actions towards a compelling result. And creating commitment and engagement towards goals is our job.
· You know in your head what you want more of and less of. Write it down. Prioritize it. Decide what behavior, if done tomorrow, would have the biggest impact on results? What would add the most value?
· Then discuss it with either an individual or your team. And this is not about merely stating it, it’s about discussing it. The value of the change, the benefits, the consequences. Create engagement and buy in through the dialogue.
· And then, reinforce it. Communicate it again. Highlight the behavior when you see it. Talk about missed opportunities. Find the challe
Top 10 Leadership Practices
1. Goals & Expectations: The foundation of performance
2. Self-Management: Is a key to credibility, be composed
3. Accountability: Starts with responsibility
4. Mindset: Comes before skillset
5. Assertiveness: It’s who you are
6. Feedback: Tell anyone anything with intention
7. Collaboration: Is hard
8. Problem Solving and Decision Making: Are processes and practices
9. Cognitive Biases: Are everywhere
10. Learning: The harder the better
Top 10 Leadership Practices
1. Goals & Expectations: The foundation of performance
2. Self-Management: Is a key to credibility, be composed
3. Accountability: Starts with responsibility
4. Mindset: Comes before skillset
5. Assertiveness: It’s who you are
6. Feedback: Tell anyone anything with intention
7. Collaboration: Is hard
8. Problem Solving and Decision Making: Are processes and practices
9. Cognitive Biases: Are everywhere
10. Learning: The harder the better
Top 10 Leadership Practices
1. Goals & Expectations: The foundation of performance
2. Self-Management: Is a key to credibility, be composed
3. Accountability: Starts with responsibility
4. Mindset: Comes before skillset
5. Assertiveness: It’s who you are
6. Feedback: Tell anyone anything with intention
7. Collaboration: Is hard
8. Problem Solving and Decision Making: Are processes and practices
9. Cognitive Biases: Are everywhere
10. Learning: The harder the better
Melissa Hunt, Municipal Services Manager at Vierbicher Associates
Listen as Melissa shares her lessons learned around:
- Communication, how to find your voice
- Decision Making
- Growth Mindset
- Leadership in life
In Business 2022 40 Under 40: https://www.ibmadison.com/40under40class2022/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/huntmelissam/
The Wisconsin Economic Development Association (WEDA) recognized Melissa Hunt as one of two 2022 Andy Lisak Young Professional Award winners at the 2022 Governor’s Conference on Economic Development held Feb. 9-11 in Madison, WI.
Assertive communication means finding our own voice and speaking from our individual perspective. Which surprisingly is very difficult for many of us. We’re not used to speaking this way, expressing our own point of view with clarity and respect. Because of course, the times when it’s most critical is when we’re in a difficult situation, so our defenses may be up, our stress heightened, and our body is ready to fight, take flight or simply freeze.
We can thank Psychologist Thomas Gordon, who in the 60’s coined the term “I-message.”
And this is probably one of the most significant communication lessons we can learn in order to find our voice. Because it means we are taking complete ownership of our messages, to ourselves and to others. It’s about framing our language in a way that is clear, direct and respectful.
· I think…I feel…I need…I want…I expect…
Framing our messages in this manner helps to establish a level of clarity with the other individual and can lessen (important to say “can” because we don’t have control over other people’s choices) their defensiveness that can arise from being too aggressive, too passive, or somewhere in between.
Example: no response to our email communications
Aggressive: “You never respond to my messages.”
Passive Aggressive: “Thanks for getting back to me 2 months later.”
Passive: “No one ever responds to messages around here.”
Assertive: “I feel frustrated when I don’t receive a response to the emails I send you because I need the information to submit proposals to our clients. This makes me look unresponsive and our company appear unreliable. Can we discuss how we can communicate on a more timely basis?”
And what are the elements in asserting ourselves?
- Actually speaking with our voice, using "I"
- Labelling our feelings (versus our thoughts)
- Being specific and focused on facts
- Describing how it affects us
- Developing an “ask”
And yes, that is a formula. And you know what? A formula can be helpful. Does it sound like you? Perhaps not, because anything new feels weird and unlike us. This is a learned behavior and like the first time you got up to walk, well, you probably landed on the floor. But with a child determination, you got back up again. You tried again.
Boundaries can be in response to an immediate situation, in which you feel hurt, threatened or insulted (example, someone belittling you in a meeting) or in which a pattern has emerged (your boss over delegates to you versus others on the team).
- I feel
- When you
- Because
- Are you/can you/will you (or depending on the situation, I need you to/want you to/expect you to)
Next steps:
- Take one week to observe your thoughts
- Discover what bothers you, what makes you upset, angry or resentful
- Feel the emotion, then identify the disconnect between what you want/expect/need/feel and what you want to honor yourself or your rights and values
- Write it down
- Practice using the formula, even if it’s only writing it down; get comfortable using the words, owning the words
And this is how we find our voice.
Today let’s explore this concept of boundaries.
Because it is about your state of well-being, confidence, health and happiness. And it’s about being in integrity with yourself. Honoring the things you believe in and care about….including yourself.
I wish my 20 year old self understood this concept, or my 30 or 4o year old as well. I wish I knew how to say what was often in my head, feeling somehow taken advantage of, or disrespected, or dismissed—a feeling without the proper words or confidence to address the situation or the person. I think I lacked both the knowledge, the courage and the skills.
Because this gap affected my life and my work.
First, it’s important to know that a boundary is not about keeping someone out, rather keeping yourself emotionally and practically safe. And this is so important, as it applies to work and your personal life.
I’ve learned a lot from Positive Psychology I’ve used their materials and subscribe to their toolkit, some amazing resources. Here’s how they define boundaries:
- Your boundaries represent the limits of how you will allow others to treat you and speak to you.
- Setting your boundaries means assertively protecting your rights to your bodily, emotional, mental, or spiritual health, your ideas, your needs, etc.
- It involves the ability to stand up for your rights in a direct way without being aggressive (e.g., belittling, ridiculing, forceful, etc.) or passive (e.g., minimizing what you need to say, apologizing for your needs, etc.).
You might be asking, how do I do that and what are the considerations? Because it starts with knowing your rights. And knowing your values.
And particularly and importantly at work, it’s about your priorities, capacity and capabilities.
1. Know the value and purpose
a. To honor yourself and secure your rights
b. To keep integrity with your authentic self; to become more aligned with what you care about for yourself and others
2. Understand your rights, values, needs/wants
a. This is an area of work for most of us, know your rights (The Power of Assertive Language episode 11)
b. Do a values inventory (Knowing your values, episode 8)
c. In the moment, be aware of someone “crossing a line” that ties to something you need or wanted, that creates a negative feeling
3. Be aware of the signs, triggers (these are the disconnects)
a. This is what happens in the moment
b. They are the moments when we become aware of the disconnect
c. When we have to make a choice: say something that we may perceive as a risk (hurt feelings, someone taking offense, repercussions, shock and outrage, anger back) and do it anyway
4. Honor them
a. Means we say the words in our heads and from our heart
b. We stand up for ourselves in a way that is not disrespectful to others, rather clear about what we feel, want and need
c. This is also about what you’d like from them; though they have the right to change or not
That is the most challenging element of a boundary is actually standing up for yourself and honoring it. Saying the words not just in your head, but out loud. And doing it in a way that is clear, yet respectful. That focuses on your needs, your feelings and what you want.
Boundaries are about being proactive in areas of your life that you care most about. And then noticing those moments when something causes you angst. It could be one incident (in the case of a political, racial or personal comment) or it co
Meet Ryan Festerling, President of QPS Employment Group.
Hear his lessons and leadership insights. He went from being a VP in a very large organization (Kohls) to being the President of a (relatively smaller) one, QPS Employment Group:
- What were you most excited about, and what were you most anxious about?
- What was the biggest surprise you’ve encountered as a leader?
- What’s something you can’t go a day without doing?
- What is the most important personality trait required to be successful at your job?
- What have you learned about people and organizations in your new role (i.e., best practices or pitfalls to avoid)?
In the last episode, I explored Tuckman’s team development model. A way to consider how effectively a team is functioning and it’s stage of development (with the aspiration of becoming high performing).
In working with leaders over the years, and in diving into hundreds of teams—the storming stage is looked on with such despair. Really? we have to do that? Go through that? (And I know there also sometimes saying, yo lookie here missie, we are so much better than that!).
Storming doesn’t have to feel jarring to be storming. We can be polite and professional and still walk out of the room talking about one another. When there are perspectives not being shared, or disagreements not being addressed openly, we are storming. Haven’t you ever been in a group that had artificial harmony? We all pretend and play nice?
The team leader as a facilitator helps to promote healthy conflict, or as Google’s Project Aristotle calls it, Candor and Conflict. Essential behaviors from their research on what makes teams effective.
Because most of us think it’s the people. Or their experience, or knowledge. Gosh, if I could only get so and so and so and so on the team, it would be awesome. Or those that have the deep knowledge, the expertise.
The challenge is if they have the knowledge and don’t have the complementary collaborative and conflict skills to add the value they can. And that is so frustrating as someone who has spent a lot of time on team development.
And the very best news is that is all teachable and coachable. And when you can create that environment, one of psychological safety in addition to the communication skills required, storming can feel less treacherous, less lightening and corresponding damage.
Here are tips to help your team through storming:
· Educate them on the stages of team development. When a team has knowledge that what they are going through is both to be expected and normal, it creates a safer platform for self awareness and change.
· Establish team behaviors for disagreements, problem solving and decision making that promote healthy conflict resolution. These should be not only norms, but clear expectations.
· Consider using a conflict style assessment or tool to enhance both understanding and behavior change. I’ve used both the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Inventory and the DiSC Conflict assessment. They are both very valuable tools to deepen awareness and understanding, also to promote skills development in this area. Contact me if you are interested in learning more about either of these awesome tools.
· Ensure the team has a focus on ideas not people. Debate ideas without making it personal.
· Model candor, transparency and healthy conflict. As a leader, this is a must.
Bruce Tuckman's Model:
Most of us realize that a common goal is foundation to differentiating a group and a team. Not all groups are teams, and that is okay.
-
Form: the group is immature; shared goal, collective purpose, clear roles and responsibilities
-
Storm: the group is fractioned; disagreement, tension, possible cliques form when individuals disagree about priorities, roles or tasks and yet don’t know how to successfully resolve the conflict
-
Norm: the group is gelling; cooperation increases as roles and leadership is understood and accepted, as things stabilize and trust is established (we also know how to resolve conflicts individually and collectively)
-
Perform: openness, flexibility, attention to both the goals and the dynamics, shared leadership, collective problem solving; shared decision making; focus on the collective goals
The real value of knowing this model, is knowing as a leader you can accelerate the development of your team. I know, on purpose. While it’s very common just to make assumptions about our team being high performance, this model helps us to really investigate, number one is that true….and number two how do we ensure it’s true.
The fun part of this is actually exploring the model and the stages with your team. Whether a department or project team, you can gain insights into how others perceive the team. The individual members may have very different experiences and insights that a leader may not know, because they’re of course tucked safely in the individual members brain.
Using an assessment to analyze team behaviors is a great starting point. It will spur on the discussion.
As the team leader, your role evolves with each of the stages. They need different types of leadership in each of the 4. Consider yourself first more of a director, then a coach, a facilitator and then as the group strengthens and evolves, a delegator. This approach parallels the Situational Leadership model created by Hersey and Blanchard (episode 22). It means that the level of management required evolves and shifts over time, as standard practices and processes are in place that the team can utilize. It also means that the team continues to operate at a deeper level, collectively to achieve goals and assess the team dynamics.
Key learning seeds:
· There are 4 stages of team development: form, storm, norm and perform
· Every team will go thru them, they are predictable
· When a member comes or goes you go back to forming
· You can accelerate the performance of a team
· As a team leader, your role will shift
· It’s okay, they still need you!
Want more energy and tools for your leadership toolbox? Check out our monthly training series!
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I sometimes wonder if a day goes by that we don’t encounter someone who is hurting (and in this context, I’ll talk about emotional hurt). And we’ll never really know because our encounters are so varied, work and life and the public which we will never know the depth or breathe of hurt we’re stumbling upon.
But in this episode, I want to explore when we do know. When we see the signs, the cues, the facial expressions—which are often fleeting. And the reaction and actions we take to connect.
Because human connection is something we all want, and we all need. If you’re looking to make a difference in your company, in your circle, in the universe, you want to honor this connection.
And one of the mostimportant ways we connect with others, establishing trust, rapport, understanding is through listening. Not just to the words, but what we see.
I received a Christmas gift from a beautiful friend, it’s Brene Brown’s book, Atlas of the Heart. If you’re interested in strengthening your emotional intelligence for work or life, this is an encyclopedia of insight.
A few of us have started a book club to deepen our knowledge of her work. For months we’ve been sharing insights, reactions, and the stories of our lives. How these emotions have affected us not just in the workplace, which they definitely do, but also as human beings. Its been so splendidly illuminating and also vulnerable.
Into the language of our emotions, she dives. And she dives deep. Giving words to the sensations that we experience yet have a hard time describing.
And back to this week’s topic, our last book club. It was in Chapter 7. She described the differences between compassion, pity, sympathy, empathy. Finally, a way that compared and contrasted these emotions, so they made sense. And also, which bring us closer together, and those that don’t.
What I found very fascinating, because I teach empathy in many of my classes, was what she wrote about empathy misses. Eight of them. When I saw this list I was full of awe. She had captured this comprehensive list, the areas that I hear---the pitfalls we’ve probably all fallen into. Unwittingly, and then also we affect the connection. The disconnect.
Brene defines it this way, Empathy, the most powerful tool of compassion, is an emotional skill set that allows us to understand what someone is experiencing and to reflect back that understanding.
Because when you listen to others, when you listen to yourself—see how many of these you can spot.
- Sympathy versus empathy
- Judgment
- Disappointment
- Discharging discomfort, with blame
- Speaking truth to power
- Comparing/Competing
- Minimize/Avoid
- Advice giving/Problem solving
If you find yourself falling into these common traps, scurry out as soon as you can. Empathize with focus and purpose. Identify the emotion. Label it to the best of your knowledge. Then add the “why.”
Be there for those that are hurting. Be present with their pain. When you do this, you deepen trust and your connections to others. And isn’t that what we all want? Because while we don't know so many times when others around us are in pain, there are times that we do know. Let's not miss those opportunities to connect.
Check us out! https://www.intentionaleaders.com/
Lessons Learned by Shenita Brokenburr, Ph.D.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/shenita-brokenburr-phd/
Bridge Braintrust is a human resources advisory, coaching and consulting firm that helps individuals and organizations move from now-to-next--- whatever that next is!
As thought-partners, consultants, and strategists with subject matter expertise across the employee life cycle, we work alongside Chief HR Officers (CHROs) and other executives to help solve administrative, structural and operational problems in higher education HR and other sectors.
For more information: http://www.bridgebraintrust.com
If you are a leader, you have power. If you are an aspiring leader, or informal leader, you will need it. Power is about influence. It is about achieving results.
Expert power is a lifelong commitment to knowledge or subject matter expertise. Gaining power thru knowledge is not as easy as it once was…years ago a person could focus on one deep area of knowledge and be influential.
Today it’s also about serial learning. It’s not just about being deep in one area. (Example of an "M" versus a "T".)
Beyond the knowledge of your expertise, there is the building of your brand. Because if you aren’t in a position to leverage your knowledge, where is the return on your investment?
And my disclaimer in the use of this power is it can be used for good or evil. I’ve seen people, teams and organizations held hostage by the abuse of expert power. Meaning that an individual created damaging consequences because of their action or inaction…whether this was the hoarding of knowledge or a refusal to mentor, either way the power wasn’t used effectively.
Here are 5 ways to use expert power constructively:
1. Establish your unique combination of knowledge and skills. Consider what makes you valuable to your role, team and organization. Who are the experts in your field? What is their combination of genius? Write down 10 areas of strength, and then consider the combination of factors that allow you to contribute to your team or organization in a way that is powerful and impactful.
2. Never stop learning, focus on continuous knowledge. Always find something to learn. Then own your growth. Do your research, don’t just ask, tell them the value that will be gained based on the learning experience. Help others to understand how the learning will be relevant and applicable. Help them to see the contributions you will make based on the investment. This is your job.
3. Be an excellent trouble shooter. Use your knowledge and expertise to solve problems. Be at the ready when called on to use your unique set of skills, to leverage your knowledge. Make sure you know the problem clearly before weighing in on a solution. Meaning, understand the gap between what is and what your stakeholder needs, then provide sound, logical and meaningful input towards a solution. Which ties to #4.
4. Be aware of your biases, be transparent with your opinions and assumptions. Example: leadership classes, biases about learning design, facilitation and content. I have to check my experience at the door. I need to open myself up to exploring new options, alternative practices, and many opinions about leadership or management that may not align with mine. It’s important that I revisit my beliefs and knowledge. To discover openly and honestly what I have yet to learn. And I will always find something.
5. Actively mentor and coach, while staying humble and kind. Is it a little scary to share your expertise, putting you in the position of irrelevance? Absolutely not. Because this is about your collective brand, something that you bring to the table beyond the knowledge, the way you share it, encourage others to learn and grow. It’s about having the patience to mentor, which not everyone has. It’s about coaching with kindness and humility building the confidence and competence of those around you.
Leadership is about results. And to get results you have to influence others. Using expert power is a fantastic platform for leadership when executed thoughtfully and intentionally. Keep these 5 tips in mind to be the one that everyone not only turns to, but actually wants to seek out for guidance, wisdom and support.
Discover leadership development here!
If you are a leader, you have power. If you are an aspiring leader, or informal leader, you will need it.
Power is about influence. It is about achieving results.
Sometimes it difficult to consider power without thinking of politics. Here are some thoughts from Art Petty:
Unavoidable Facts of Organizational Life
- Everywhere humans gather, a political environment emerges.
- In every political environment, some individuals develop more influence than others.
- Those who have the most influence decide what gets done and who does what.
- Influence doesn’t accrue accidentally—it takes deliberate effort to cultivate the right relationships.
Back in 1959, two social psychologists John French and Bertram Raven studied and identified 5 bases of power.
This was followed by Raven's subsequent addition in 1965 of a sixth separate and distinct base of power: informational power. And I’m going to add one more, because in the era of social media, I think there is power in the connections we have with one and other.
French and Raven defined social influence as "a change in the belief, attitude, or behavior of a person (the target of influence) which results from the action of another person (an influencing agent)", and they defined social power as the potential for such influence, that is, the ability of the agent to bring about such a change using available resources.
This means getting s#@&* done.
Here are the types of Positional/Formal power:
1. Legitimate
2. Reward
3. Coercive
Personal/Informal power:
4. Expert
5. Referent
6. Informational
7. Connection
Understand what you have, and what you want more of. Cultivate your power bases. Power can be used positively or negatively.
Negative Examples:
- Legitimate power = relying on status to get compliance; do it because I said so, implied threat
- Reward = get when you give, or I withhold until you do
- Coercive = embarrassing others in a meeting, yelling publicly
- Expert = withholding information to retain status or security in the role; not changing as work standards change, becoming biases in knowledge from past experiences
- Referent = using charm and likability to get what is needed in a way that manipulates others OR excludes others
- Informational = sharing confidential information to “build trust” with someone else; withholding information that can be shared but is not
- Connection power = being a name dropper, using a connection with someone who has power to manipulate or pressure someone else
Part of understanding these power bases is knowing what your superpowers are. You always have power, it’s a matter of knowing what it is, how to strengthen it and how to get more of it. To the extent you want to lead, you will need to focus on power. As I said power is influence.
If you’re early on in your career, and an aspiring manager or leader—lean into your interpersonal skills. Referent power, or likability can go a long way to building rapport, trust and credibility. In fact, Susan Fiske, Amy Cuddy and Peter Glick did research on how we form impressions and the two areas that were identified (across 37 countries) were warmth and competence. So the combination of referent and expert power can be very impactful.
And because so many of us listening to this podcast are working managers, meaning you have subject matter expertise and you are leading people, next episode we’ll talk about best practices for honing and thoughtfully applying expert power.
To strengthen your leadership practices, check out our new monthly workshop series!
LinkedIn reported that 79% of employees have been micromanaged at least once in their career. Micromanaging is controlling every part, however small, of (an enterprise or activity).
It typically indicates lack of trust, freedom—the opposite of empowerment. It is a double whammy in being a demotivator and also “threat” to our need for autonomy. And results in:
- anxiety & stress
- lack of learning/development
- poor role model = control as a management style
- miss out on becoming a good problem solver
- decreases performance and productivity
- disengagement
7 kinds of micromanagement (by John Spacey):
- Supervision: your goals and results
- Working style: my way is the best way
- Internal control: operating procedures, strict beyond the quality aspect—won’t explore the reasoning, the why, the purpose or the value
- Job depth: authority and freedom as a valued contributor
- Defense of status quo: we’ve always done it that way; closed mindedness; lack of flexibility; negatively reinforces creativity, innovation
- Perfectionism: is a lie; unattainable for us as leaders and for our teams. are you holding out for perfection? asking others to be perfect?
- Criticism: focus on what you need to improve, finding the flaws first, noticing them first
How to talk about it? #1 is to be assertive and use assertive language. Have a conversation about your feelings, needs and wants--also discovering their needs (and fears).
Examples:
· Goals/results: I’ve noticed that you set a date for a project deadline, and then follow up regularly with me, checking in on the status. Help me understand what you need or what I could be providing to you to reassure you I’m on track.
· Style: I would like to have more autonomy in my role. How can we achieve that?
· Job depth: It’s important to me to continue to grow and contribute more in my role. How can you help me to develop in my current role, and set me up for future roles?
· Controls/Status quo: I recognize the importance of clear processes and procedures; I also want to share my thoughts or ideas about improvements and innovation. How can I best bring up these ideas I have and share them with you?
The challenge is, to flourish we need trust, freedom, growth. If you are in the situation and have tried to facilitate change with professionalism, respect and grace—it may be time to escalate the situation, or it may be time for a job change.
And, if you see yourself in some way in this podcast episode, take this awareness seriously. Ask for help (mentor, coach, boss) in learning new approaches to exploring the beliefs that are creating these patterns, and actively shifting these behaviors. After all, do you really want to be the person that employees identify in a class that micromanaged them?
Lead with focus and clarity: Check out our new monthly workshops!
It’s said that feedback is a gift, right? That we should receive it as such, as a kindness and opportunity to learn.
It’s helpful to know how to react, and that your reactions do matter. Not just for the person that is gifting you the feedback, for you as well.
I saw a list awhile back of all the ways we deflect. There were 13 ways, Can you imagine? I can because I just got some feedback last week. And maybe a lot of these did go thru my head.
Typical reactions:
- Flight: Victim: not my fault, minimize, deny, avoid
- Fight: go aggressive: blame, attack, counter
- Awkward: joke, exaggerate, invalidate
Back to my example of feedback I received last week. Someone came to me after the session and was not appreciative of an example I used. The perception was that I was making fun of a new idea. The long and short of it was I was simultaneously trying to understand the feedback and see her point of view, while being so surprised at the perception. I actually thought the idea was incredibly innovative and creative, so creating the perception of the opposite was hard to wrap my head around.
How we handle the feedback says a lot about our confidence and esteem. We need to be open to the perspectives of others to learn and grow. We need to consider our blind spots and areas that we aren’t even cognizant of, to strengthen these. Because I believe the best leaders are also the lifelong learners. They open themselves up to self-examination, and self-awareness only takes us so far. We need feedback to change and evolve. Ironically the more experience we have, or the more power we have in our leadership role—the less likely we are to be provided with the honest, transparent, and candid feedback. Because the risk to those around us is sometimes perceived as too great.
So when we do, focus on it gracefully and gratefully. Which means we have to acknowledge our body and brain’s protective mechanisms, which will surely jump in.
Here are 4 tips to process feedback effectively:
1. Breathe (aka take a Pause)
- Breathing brings oxygen to your brain. It allows you time to bring your thoughts and emotions to the surface.
- Breathing and pausing allows you to respond rather than react. This is a choice that must be made deliberately.
2. Notice Your Thoughts
- Be an observer of your thoughts and reactions when others provide feedback.
- Negative emotions are caused by your thoughts.
- Be open about your fears (if possible) and/or understand yourself what you are making the feedback “mean” about you.
3. Seek to Understand
- Remain calm.
- Try to separate the content from the messenger and/or the way the message was delivered. Find the nugget of truth or learning.
- Avoid reacting defensively and/or attempting to rationalize your actions.
- Ask questions to understand.
- Press for details or examples (in a non-defensive manner).
- Make amends if appropriate.
4. Express Gratitude
- Feedback is a gift and those that can give and receive it have the strongest and most trusting relationships with others. Be graceful and grateful for the opportunity to learn.
At the end of the day, I am appreciative of the perspectives of others. I want to learn a different point of view. I am a lifelong learner, not only about learning leadership lessons to share with others, but to those that I receive about myself. My own behaviors and actions. And when my message is not aligned with my intentions.
I learned a lot from the experience last week, that this is a lifelong practice. Getting comfortable with spontaneous feedback received in the moment, so much more challenging than teaching it.
Chad Melnick, SVP Marketing Strategy and Promotions
Visionary senior executive with expertise in driving strategy and innovation across marketing, branding, merchandising, and digital transformation for a multibillion-dollar retailer.
Podcast Interview Questions:
- You’ve been in a large successful retail organization for several decades…to what do you attribute your longevity in this highly competitive space?
- What is the most important personality trait required to be successful as a leader in the retail marketplace?
- What is one thing that you’ll never do again?
- What is your greatest professional achievement?
- What would you tell your 18 year old self if you could talk to them today?
Find out more about Chad here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chad-melnick/
I vividly remember one of the first I’ll call it self help books I read, Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and then his subsequent work, First Things First.
This was all pretty groundbreaking for me, taught to work hard, then work hard, and well, keep going and well, you know the rest.
“Anything less than a conscious commitment to the important is an unconscious commitment to the unimportant.” Whoa.
Well this weekend I was dusting off some materials on time management, so the words and principles of Covey were front and center. And it was interesting to think that the concept of time management, the inherent practices and challenges have always been less about managing your time it’s always been about managing yourself.
And this is the biggest challenge to us each day. Not only as leaders, or employees working hard to make a difference, but also as human beings. How are we spending our time and are we spending time in a way aligned with our goals, priorities, purpose and values.
The Eisenhower Matrix is a graphical tool used to prioritize tasks by ranking them on two key attributes: Importance and Urgency. The Eisenhower Matrix was derived from a quote attributed to former U.S. leader Dwight D. Eisenhower.
“I have two kinds of problems, the urgent and the important. The urgent are not important, and the important are never urgent.”
Over 3 decades later in his best-selling book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey repackaged Eisenhower’s insights into a simple tool to prioritize tasks, now known as the Eisenhower Matrix. This framework for prioritization helps you combat the urgency addition while making progress on important goals.
The addiction to urgency:
- creates predictable reliable sensations
- becomes our focus, and absorbs our attention
- provides an artificial sense of self-worth, power, control, security, intimacy and accomplishment
- exacerbates the problems and feelings it is sought to remedy
- worsens functioning, creates loss of relationships
Now that you know…what can you do?
1. Track your time. For a day, for a week. Look for patterns. Assess your level of self-awareness and your subsequent ability to choose on purpose. This is critical to making changes, you need to be aware of what your current practices and challenges are to make even incremental changes.
2. Spend some quality time considering what belongs in Q2 for you. What goals do you have (personal or professional), or development do you need to be more effective? If you want to be more proactive and who doesn’t, think about what you would do with time to spend in Q2.
3.If you’re coaching others and they are coming to you with problems and no solutions, spend time coaching them out of Q3. Meaning they are relying on your, they’re dependent on you to do the work or fix the problem or provide direction (and maybe they need to be more autonomous?). Again, keeping track of these requests you receive in Q3 will help you to be a more targeted and effective coach.
4.Be mindful of Q4. There are times when doing mindless things is great. We need to decompress. Certain activities give us diminishing returns when used excessively. This is about immediate gratification, which can leave us feeling guilty and unfulfilled.
Last week after a training session, I had an interesting conversation with a couple of participants. The class was about negotiating work assignments, difficult for most of us—saying no or even entering into a conversation about our capacity or capabilities is difficult.
For many of us, we just suck it up and say yes. And then try our hardest to make it work, compromising ourselves, our stress, our families….and over time, our health and wellbeing. One young professional said, I didn’t know that saying no was even an option, I was never taught how.
NOTE: I was not advocating for going around saying NO to everything, rather being cognizant of your own capabilities, capacity and needs so that you can say yes without compromising quality or yourself; then negotiating on assignments from a place of partnership and collaboration.
But this conversation was not specifically about negotiating a work assignment. It was about being assertive. The rights that you have. Understanding them, being clear on them. Honoring them, communicating them. And ultimately being clear on the boundaries around you to protect your values.
The example was about standing up for something. In this case, the “someone’s” who were left off an email that was an acknowledgement of efforts on a project. Some of the people who worked on the project were excluded from the communication (the women versus the men).
And an individual noticed this and brought it up. Now I may not have all the details completely, but what struck me was at the core of the example. Notice it? Bring it up? I was impressed because at that point in my career (aka early on) would I be the one to bring it up? Notice it, probably yes. Do something with it? and I kept thinking…. What are you willing to stand up for?
Because each day we could notice situations like this one. And while there are big bold moves we can make in life to advocate for those who are wronged, those who are being harmed in a big way or on a large scale...we have to recognize that standing up for something or someone can also be an everyday act. Smaller scale, but in the moment we see something and recognize we have a choice to make.
What you’re willing to stand up for involves many layers. It starts with your values. What do you care about? Integrity? Equality? Diversity? Accountability? What are the core beliefs that you want to advocate for? Your values provide clarity, focus and purpose.
Then there is the noticing. The young man who notices that the women were excluded on an email communication. Not everyone even notices this detail. Or if it’s noticed, that it’s problematic. And then it is about taking action.
And I don’t mean we run around see a potential “wrong” and assume bad intentions. Because the mindset of “catching” someone is different from noticing and inquiring. Giving someone a chance to respond, to clarify, or maybe to come to the realization that they harmed someone else through their words or actions.
This is a purposeful strategy, designed to educate, create change. And live the values you care most about.
I believe that leadership is not about tiles, or roles or positions. It’s about being clear on your vision and values and purpose. It’s about knowing who you are and how you want to contribute to the success of the world. And the scope and scale of that world gets to be defined by you. Big or small, wide or narrow, the scale is less relevant than the deliberate choice and the courage to act.
Ask yourself….are you willing to engage and advocate for something or someone you believe it? Are you willing to ask the tough questions, in a respectful way? Willing to look awkward? Willing to feel uncomfortable? Willing to be wrong in your conclusions, despite being right in your intentions?
It starts first with knowing you. Pay attention. And make a conscious choice.
I know this sounds weird, but I love teaching classes on conflict. Because it’s so freakin’ stressful and most of us don’t like dealing with it. So, we avoid it. (See EP 54 Conflict Sucks ). And there are some darn good reasons, sadly we don’t think of the long term damage that lingering conflict does to trust and rapport. And our stress levels.
In this episode think about a recent conflict that you’ve had, or perhaps one that you had to coach an employee on. Which is also an important perspective, because research suggests that when we are good role models for conflict, our employees become more effective at it as well. The dark side is that most employees don’t think their managers are good at it. Yikes. This is an important area to master.
Do you have the example in mind? I am going to share 6 common types of conflict. I am not sure of the original source for these types and their explanation. I’m confident that that you’ll see how they align in your scenario, they make so much sense.
And the important part of knowing the type? You’ll be better equipped to navigate the conflict. I won’t say it will be easy, but it will be easier if you know foundationally where the conflict is coming from.
The first type of conflict is interpersonal.
The second is a difference in goals.
Number three is about limited resources. This is about scarcity. Whenever we don’t have enough money, time or resources.
The fourth is about values.
Number five is about performance problems.
And the last, number six, is about power struggles. A power struggle is any use of power in a way that is not constructive.
Now that I’ve described the six, which were incorporated in your example? There absolutely can be more than one, and yes, all six can sometimes be involved. If this happens, we have to determine which is at the core, or which is most actionable in terms of starting the conversation to navigate the conflict.
It’s important to know this, and be clear on what the conflict is, and also what it isn’t. Because this makes our strategy to resolve the conflict more deliberate. Like when your mom told you to avoid the values discussions. This is an excellent conflict choice when the value doesn’t affect our work or the quality of the outcomes we need to produce together.
When it’s a matter of limited resources, compromise can be an excellent strategy. Compromise is something that most of us are used to doing, it’s a form of bargaining, we look at the facts and data and make choices, with both parties bending a little to get to an acceptable solution.
And sometimes, it’s okay to accommodate to someone else. Let them have their way, so to speak, especially when it causes no particular harm to you (remember Jo, messy and disorganized and still gets it done, you can choose to let this go—it’s just Jo).
Next time you or those around you are in a conflict, remember the six types:
- interpersonal
- goals
- limited resources
- values
- Poor performance
- Power struggles
Identify which are occurring and use this as a foundation for the discussion and the strategy you use to resolve the conflict.
NOTE: For more insight on how you handle conflicts, consider the Everything DiSC Conflict assessment for you or your team. This tool helps individuals curb destructive behaviors so that conflict can become more productive, ultimately improving workplace results and relationships.
How often do you have the same old meeting, the same old discussion? You know the one, negative Nelly is well, as brooding as always, because we’re still virtual half of our attendees are multitasking, you are pulling every trick out of the book to engage people in the discussion…because you want their insights….and you need their input.
It's time. Time for a new strategy, and one that is so easy to implement. You will love it. It’s called the 6Thinking Hats.
Developed by Dr. Edward de Bono in the early 80’s, a Maltese physician, psychologist and philosopher. This technique encourages critical thinking, and also results in engagement and collaboration.
Here’s how it works. Each of 6 hats represent a different lens in which a participant(s) approaches the problem, discussion or decision.
White Hat: Is about information and data. This perspective is neutral and objective.
- Answer who, what, when and where?
- What do we know?
- What are the facts?
- What is the evidence?
- What information is needed?
Green Hat: Is all about creative thinking. The focus is on ideas, alternatives and possibilities.
- What if we…?
- How can we make this work?
- What alternatives have we not explored?
Red Hat: The purpose of the red hat is to focus on feelings and instincts/intuition. The expression of feelings doesn’t require explanation or rationalization.
- What are your feelings about this?
- What bothers you?
- What does your gut tell you?
- What biases are present?
Yellow Hat: This hat is focused on the benefits and values, why the idea/solution will work. While it is focused on the positive, there are also reasons given (versus just a sunny disposition or generalized positivity).
- How will this be beneficial?
- What value will this provide to others?
- What would be the most positive outcome?
Black Hat: The black hat is about caution and risk. It’s about identifying difficulties, dangers and weaknesses in the plans and/or decisions. While it is about spotting risk, it’s also about applying logic (versus red hat).
- Why won’t this work?
- What are the negative consequences?
- What will be most difficult?
- What are the risks?
Blue Hat: This hat is about managing the collective thinking; organization and planning. It is focused on thinking about the quality of thinking and the information, actions and/or decisions made. It is also about planning for actions.
- What is the main idea being discussed?
- What is the sequence of events and/or actions?
- What is the conclusion?
- What is our action plan?
I’m asked should the hats be assigned based on participants natural strengths? Know your group and your purpose. If you’re in a hurry, assign to what people are naturally good at. When you are trying to broaden thinking and skills, provide an opportunity outside of an individual’s’ natural comfort zone. For me, that might be the black hat. I don’t like to focus on the negative elements of a solution and/or decision, but often miss out on identifying and preventing risks and consequences that could occur. I can strengthen this mental muscle on purpose and it would broaden my perspective.
This technique offers so many benefits: improving the completeness of the thinking of the group by providing a comprehensive structure, it inspires creativity, and encourages engagement and inclusivity. And by using this technique you will also strengthen communication skills—as it drives listening,
Last but not least…it can be fun.
I'm excited to launch my inaugural Leadership Lessons episode, featuring Andy Platz, CEO and President of Mead & Hunt.
Mead & Hunt is a national, full-service architectural and engineering firm that has been serving markets for well over a century. Today, the firm provides services nationwide and employs 900 people providing: architectural, engineering, construction, environmental, planning, sustainability and technology services.
Learn Andy's insights from his 37 years of experience, as he answers the following questions:
- What is a quality you admire in others?
- What do you think it takes to be a great leader?
- What’s the biggest challenge you’re currently facing in your career and how are you overcoming it?
- What about your life would you like to be remembered for?
Discover more about Andy here:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/andyplatz/
And if you want to show up every day with the focus, clarity and confidence Andy projects? Check out The Confident Leader course today.
Moving from contributing to getting work done through others is a painful experience for many of us. In my work with managers over the years, here are 3 manager pitfalls that I frequently see:
- Power confusion
- Ineffective communication: expectations and feedback
- Doing not delegating
#1: There are various kinds of power: legitimate, meaning you have the title and role of manager, lead worker, supervisor, director or the like. Reinforcement (Reward) and coercive typically are associate with legitimate power because we have responsibility to hold others accountable (+ and -).
Then there is expert power, you have strong technical or subject matter knowledge. And referent power, meaning you are likable, warm, and others want to follow you because of your interpersonal effectiveness.
When push comes to shove, and the work needs to get done, I observe that first time managers tend to resort to legitimate power quickly (a “do what I tell you to do” without questions or engagement). What I also see is the overuse of reinforcement power to reward employees. Or the other side of the continuum is overextending on the referent power, like we’re all buddies, friends, and people like me so they’ll do what they should do, right?
How do we appropriately balance power dynamics?
Power dynamics tends to be affected and managed by working on Pitfall #2, which is about expectations. Creating clarity in roles/responsibilities. And not only goals, your expectations as well.
And while you are using legitimate power (appropriately) to assign tasks and responsibilities, use referent power to explain the purpose and the why of the work. Take the time to explain the value of what each person is doing and what they are contributing to in a meaningful way. This will engage employees in their work far beyond what a doughnut, gift card or pat on the back ALONE will do.
I would bet that there is something that every manager is withholding an expectation and feedback from an employee. Something that they want to say, need to say and just cannot say. Get the thoughts on expectations out of your head and into the minds and practices of employees. And then focus on Pitfall #3, doing not delegating.
What problems does not delegating cause for managers?
- not focusing on the right tasks (tactical, operational versus operating at a higher level)
- doing things they already know how to do
- stress/anxiety
- capacity issues
- not developing team
- resentment of team
- accountability issues with team
Let go of the fears and excuses to provide employees with responsibility, growth, opportunities, and the engagement to contribute at a higher level. To explore this, including an action planner, check out Delegation: Lean into your fears.
Avoid these pitfalls:
- Increase self-awareness: managing is hard, most are not trained to do it, and these pitfalls are very common.
- Have clarity in your habits, practices and skills: Start by working first on clear responsibilities, including goals and expectations. This is the starting point of effective performance and team cohesiveness.
- Focus on and overcome the obstacles that limit our ability to change. This is primarily our own brain, our bad habits, and the time/investment it takes for growth.
Summary: Start with pitfall #2, enhance with an understanding of pitfall #1, and complement your own growth and those around you by avoiding pitfall #3.
Choose confidence, choose success.
I read some recent statistics that around 77% of employees experience physical effects of stress and 63% of employees are ready to quit their jobs due to stress. But this episode is not about those external factors that affect us all—that wear at our emotional fortitude. No, this is about the people in your workplace that have harmed you.
Take a pause right now and consider those who’ve negatively affected you at work (directly or indirectly). Yes, channel the resentment, just hold it for a moment.
Let’s explore releasing the grudges, the resentment, or even the spite. Today, let’s talk forgiveness.
BUT these people were TERRIBLE, their behaviors were [ awful / hurtful / selfish / condescending / meanspirited / stupid / fill-in-your-own-blank ] Yes. But we're not talking about their behavior. We’re talking about your inner peace.
Because as you dredge up these memories, as you consider all the wrongs, the bitterness and resentment…as you channel those feelings, here’s a thought to consider.
These people are NOT thinking about you. Do you think that they’re feeling guilty or responsible for your angst? That they wake up in the morning committed to “doing better?” To work hard to earn your forgiveness? It’s actually quite ironic, isn’t it? The extremely high probability that they’re not thinking of you at all.
I was exposed to a book many years ago that profoundly impacted the way I think about forgiveness. I’ve given the book as a gift both literally and figuratively. Because forgiveness is a gift, we give ourselves.
Fred Luskin, Forgive for Good. He helped me reframe what forgiveness was and also what it wasn’t. This was profound.
Forgiveness is not:
- condoning unkindness or excusing poor behavior
- forgetting the pain
- denying or minimizing hurt or feelings
- reconciliation
Forgiveness is:
- peace
- for you, your healing
- taking responsibility for how you feel
- taking back your power
- a choice
- becoming a hero rather than a victim
Forgiveness is about the present moment. It means making a choice today, about a situation in the past. It’s about feeling better today, and being clear about the situation, then choosing to overcome the negative emotions. This is about how you want to feel about yourself and your life.
Maybe you’re willing to explore what it would feel like not to feel the way you do about your past or current situation. Maybe you are willing to open the door to peace. But how?
Start with clarity. Identify the feelings, identify the behaviors/actions that “harmed” you. And talk about them. Discover the emotions, clarify the why. Consider how you’re telling the story. Consider why you’re choosing to tell the story in that way.
And let it go. Because do you want to be the victim in your story? Or do you want to be the hero overcoming the challenges that were tossed your way? Do you want to be the one that was able to rise above the dysfunction and be stronger for it?
If you want to release the resentment:
- Define the perceived wrong
- Clarify your emotions (past and present)
- Decide how you want to think about the situation with you as the victor
- Choose the emotion you want to experience
- Reframe and retell the story
- For more help: order the book or get coaching! I've helped a lot of people, let it go!
My mantra: “Forgive everyone everything.” Because I give myself the gift of inner peace. You can too.
I have been working with organizations, employee development and leadership for over 30 years. And you know what? I have very rarely faced performance issues that have to do with pure lack of technical knowledge, or the actual capacity to do the job. When an individual is just not the right fit based on mental and/or physical capabilities. I have however experienced an overwhelming number of challenges in soft skills gaps.
At their core, these are the skills that define how you work and how you interact with other people. They are important in all roles and all organizations. So, I often wonder why they are even called soft, which sounds fluffy—when in fact they are so many times, the key difference between success and failure.
And that is precisely why they are so hard. They are hard to define. They’re squishy. And hard to prioritize. Soft skills make you an effective employee. They provide you with the tools to create strong and powerful relationships. They give you leadership impact. The ability to motivate and influence. The power to inspire.
They're hard because there are so many of them to learn and master. Which are the most important for the job you have and the job you aspire to have in the future? How do you get these vital skills?
Sometimes your employer helps you out. And does the heavy lifting for you. When that happens it’s great. It provides a roadmap for your success.
I’ve been involved in the development of many competency models. A competency model is a framework of the skills required in a job, or organization. The organizational approach means there is a definition of the skills everyone needs to demonstrate to be successful in the company. The skills are then prioritized. Because we simply cannot expect every employee to demonstrate every soft skill effectively. And by not having some type of standard, that is kind of what we are saying.
And in the defining and prioritizing, we can then assess and train. Which has also been at the core of what I’ve done for decades, so in my unbiased perspective, this is incredibly valuable.
There is significant value in this process, because then there is a path for employees to follow. A roadmap to success and career development. And we want that, the map to growth and mastery. Creating an environment in which I know how to contribute, how to grow, is an employment differentiator. And the ability to master new skills is also intrinsically motivating. And this leads to improved engagement.
Here’s a process to follow:
- Engage top leaders and performers to define the most critical skills that drive success in your particular industry and organization.
- Prioritize the list: scrutinize and select which are most vital; this is a challenge. Less is better, ideal being between 4 and 7.
- Define each competency behaviorally. Meaning define what makes each competency actionable.
- Then weave the framework, the skills into your organizational fabric, meaning performance and salary reviews, communications, learning and development, manager training, hiring practices, reward systems, etc.
- When providing learning experiences, reinforce the skills that will be developed during the training.
- Reinforce the competencies and expectations whenever and however you can. And then do it some more. Because information is rampant and we’re overwhelmed, we need focus and clarity.
Soft skills are hard because there is a lack of clarity in what is essential. When everything is important, nothing is important.
Drive or support this process! Then tackle the hard job of learning the soft skills.
Be the best leader you know, learn more now!
Let’s talk drama. For most of us, we’ve experienced it, we tend to know what it is…and I hear about it quite frequently from managers I work with. We’ll focus on some of the reasons why it happens, and most importantly what to do about it.
Starting with why.
I mean, seriously why does this happen in professional adult environments?
- I am attention seeking: I want people to notice me, I want recognition, attention, and you listening to me is reinforcing. I am important.
- My status: I love knowing something that no one else knows and I get to tell others about it, this also reinforces my status, I am “in the know" which gives me power.
- And chances are, I have low emotional intelligence (self awareness and/or self management); I don’t realize that what I am doing is affecting my own credibility negatively and/or I do and don’t “care.” I don’t consider the consequences of my behaviors on my integrity. There may be a gap in the integrity I think I have relative to what I truly have in the eyes of others.
- There is a lack of expectations on appropriate behavior: for example, there is nothing in place that states clearly, “Don’t talk behind others’ back. It’s disrespectful and undermines trust." No one is saying, “You are doing this. Stop.”
- I am not held accountable to stop destructive and annoying behaviors: there are no consequences.
While it’s important to know why it occurs, we also have to be very clear what it means. Define it. For you. Because what you think and feel is “dramatic” is probably quite different from someone else. To some strong emotional reactions, unfiltered emotional responses may be more commonplace.
If you are in the role to manage the environment, to make it more trusting, positive and supportive, then consider your standards and expectations. What are appropriate standards that are important to you?
And from there, we manage it. Starting with…
1. Set expectations for constructive behaviors; establish the vision for what you want and expect in the workplace; create the vision; set the standards.
2. Label the ineffective behavior clearly, make sure you are focusing on actions—and things that you can hear or see concretely, not abstractions or generalizations.
For example:
- Gossiping about others
- Talking about someone’s intentions and judging them (particularly without knowing them); aka not assuming positive intentions
- Talking negative about someone behind their back
- Overexaggerating a problem (explain facts/data/specifics versus exaggerations)
- Not differentiating between facts versus opinions
- Using aggressive or passive aggressive language
- Swearing, yelling, throwing, name calling
- Sabotaging decisions/changes
- Blaming, deflecting, whining,
- Lying
-
Undermining someone else’s credibility
-
Address the “drama” as it arises.
- Strengthen emotional intelligence across your team/organization; self-awareness and self-management is key to change.
If you’re in a leadership role, you are responsible for the environment. What you ignore, sadly you condone. So, clean up these behaviors that are energy draining, morale depleting and soul sucking.
And if you’re not in a leadership role, to create this change remember Cheryl Richardson’s stance: "Just because some people are fueled by drama doesn't mean you have to attend the performance. "
Get confident daily showing up as a leader regardless of your role or title, learn more now!
The leader gets to decide how to decide. Think about that a little. I’d also encourage you to consider how leaders you’ve worked with have decided. There are a lot of options. Some of which are more inclusive than others. Recognize the choice they made and the impact on you and the organization.
There are advantages and disadvantages to each. If we think from a spectrum perspective, let's say on the very left side is the authoritative stance. I decide on my own and take action. Or I could inform the rest of the leadership team of what I am doing, or I could consult with them…maybe even engaging them in the process. But I still decide.
But truly, as the leader I get to decide how I want to decide. Maybe doing this on my own for some reason actually is the best strategy for me and the organization and the team right now. I have to deal with the sense of shock, confusion and betrayal my team might experience. I do need to understand and manage the consequences of my decision and the way I decided.
Or I could choose to be more inclusive; there are options. I could have several viable candidates and we use the democratic method; we vote with the majority winning.
I could also try to seek a consenting approach, meaning I ask everyone to default to buying in and supporting the majority decision and to only speak up if they can’t live with a decision. Lastly, I could choose to decide by consensus, meaning everyone has to agree. While the most collaborative option, this approach is time consuming, fraught with possible emotions and biases, particularly in a high stake’s decision.
To be a more inclusive leader, I get to choose a democratic, consenting or consensus option. And again, also to know the advantages and disadvantages of each.
Now, let’s look at it through the lens of the team. I think the really important message here is that most times, these processes happen without thought, planning and discussion. Because if I am that collaborative and inclusive leader then you also have some responsibility in the decision-making process, Again, think of this as a spectrum from left to right. On the left side, you’re in favor of, or support the decision. The next choice is, you’re okay with the decision, but you have reservations. The third option is mixed feelings. Or lastly, I have the right to veto the candidate—this is the very right side of the continuum, where I cannot accept the decision. In this case as well, it's important to be thoughtful, articulate, and clear about the why. Being able to explain my rationale and choice.
In your team, are you deciding intentionally? As a leader you have choices from:
· Authoritative: fully own/do; inform; consult
· Collaborative: democratic; consent; consensus
And if you are participating in collaborative decision making, you could have the following spectrum of choices:
· In favor of
· Okay with reservations (communicated)
· Mixed feelings (supported with thoughts, examples, specifics)
· Not in favor, but will commit/support
· Veto
The important message here is that in the absence of deciding how to decide, the leader typically chooses, and sometime people judge those choices. Maybe because they want more input, maybe because they truly disagree, maybe because the leader does it differently every time, and it’s confusing and disempowering.
Decide how to decide so that in the leadership team (or any team) the decision is more effectively supported. Decide to decide so that decision is implemented respectfully, effectively, and sustainably.
Decide the Leader you want to be!
Look up the definition of conflict and here are some of the words you’ll see: serious disagreement or argument, protracted one, dispute, quarrel,incompatible, variance, clash, irreconcilable
So who jumps out of bed and goes into work wanting to tackle conflict? Because if we actually do address the conflict and actually TALK to the person about it….well, it could hurt their feelings, or it might make the situation worse, and it takes time and energy, and it probably won’t change anything anyway, and it will be uncomfortable, and it really doesn’t matter, or it could damage the relationship, and there’s really no urgency, and they might get mad, or we’re just waiting for the perfect moment, or we don’t have authority, plus, we’re tired. Its just. Not. Worth. It.
These thoughts are deceptively powerful, because they frame possible outcomes of a discussion in the negative. Meaning, here are all the reasons I should NOT address the conflict. Here are the myriad of reasons why I can’t/won’t/don’t want to address the situation.
These are the very thoughts that keep us stuck. Stuck in the problem, after all the conflict doesn’t necessarily go away. Do you really think these thoughts, stuck in our head don’t affect our actions and relationship with the other person? Yes, they do. And over time, they can result in even more damage to the relationship. And the environment.
Let’s look at Betsy and Bob. Betsy and Bob are co-workers. Bob said something snarky to Betsy in a meeting. She was surprised and insulted. After fuming for a period, she said something to Bob. [Paraphrased] “Like hey, what up Bob why did you dis me in that meeting?” Bob was like, [also paraphrased], “Oh don’t pay any attention to what I say. I was just joking around.”
Betsy didn’t buy it. The problem didn’t go away. And both Bob and Betsy knew it. And they both talked to others about it….”Can you believe he said that!?” and “Can you believe she did that!?” And the unresolved feelings, and the lack of trust. The lack of teamwork, and collaboration.
All it takes is one little thing. But little things become big things. And most conflicts are so much more complicated that what Bob and Betsy are facing. No wonder we don’t want to deal with it.
The reality is that conflict doesn’t suck. The avoidance of conflict, and ongoing damage to relationships and to the work environment really suck. Because they are avoidable consequences.
This doesn’t mean we jump out of our beds, brimming with excitement because we FINALLY get to have that conversation that we’ve been avoiding for months. It just means that the feelings of trepidation and anxiety are normal, they’re part of the problem solving process. We opt to solve the problem; we opt for collaboration. We opt to talk and to listen.
Because resolving conflict constructively and effectively in a relationship actually builds trust. It shows us that we can navigate through our differences and come out the other side stronger.
What can you do to reframe the value of conflict? Think about an unresolved conflict.
Consider the following:
o What is the current cost of this conflict to you? to the other person? to your team? to your organization?
o What are the consequences to you if the conflict goes unresolved?
o What are the benefits to you to resolve the conflict?
This is a kind of pro and con analysis. But ironically the more cons there are, the more we have at stake if we do NOT resolve the conflict. Have courage. Take the chance. Don’t be Betsy and Bob.
NOTE: For more insight on how you handle conflicts, consider the Everything DiSC Conflict assessment for you or your team. This tool helps individuals curb destructive behaviors so that conflict can become more productive, ultimately improving workplace results and relationships.
Some of us are wired naturally to express empathy, to be aware of and in tune with others’ feelings. Some of us, not so much. If you want to be effective as a leader, and well, as a human being, you need to understand and strengthen your empathetic side.
Social awareness or empathy, is the ability to recognize and understand moods of those around us. Reading emotions of others as we interact one on one, and in a group-setting is vital to effective communication and building trust.
Ironically, in our personal and professional lives we need this more than ever. At the same time, our capacity to extend it to others is pretty compromised. Right now, we're emotionally drained. So how in the world do we tap into empathy, particularly if we’re not wired this way to begin with?
Empathy is not about agreeing with the emotions of others, it’s trying to understand the other person’s emotions and the context around them. It’s also not about sympathizing with them, feeling sad or sorry for others, pitying them. Empathy is about the others’ experience. Not judging. Caring.
Tip 1:be mindful of cues. Maintaining eye contact is the key to noting facial and body cues that give us invaluable information on others’ feelings. When we listen dichotically, splitting our attention in any way we miss so much. This is at the heart of empathy because facial expressions typically last between 0.5 and 4 seconds and involve the entire face. Some of these cues are extremely subtle. If we're not watching, we're missing vital information.
Tip 2: keep our opinions to ourselves. Empathy is not about us. Our opinions, examples, and “stories” can detract from a focus on the other person’s experience. Our job is to see their point of view without including our own perspective. It doesn’t mean we can’t share, but connect first, honor their feelings and emotions first. And avoid the very ineffective catch phrase, "I understand how you feel."
Tip 3: identify their feelings and paraphrase their words.This means communicate back what we believe they are experiencing (labelling emotions and the “why”). There’s research that suggests that there is much value in being able to accurately label emotions. This allows us to more fully process it, to respond to it more constructively. To make sense of the emotions, we have to try to label them.
Which is harder than it sounds because based on research by Brene Brown, people are typically only about to accurately label about 3 emotions, sadness, happiness and anger. While the spectrum of emotions is so much more significant than these three.
What resonates with you in this list?
Avoid:
- judging
- telling someone to calm down
- advising/fixing it/correcting
- minimizing/belittling/disagreeing
- jumping to conclusions
- interrupting
- consoling/sympathizing
- educating
- interrogating
- storytelling
Things to practice:
- be calm
- give undivided attention
- open body language
- give time and space if needed
- be open minded
- listen for the feelings and the “why"
- notice fight or flight reactions
- patience
- paraphrase/empathize to clarify and/or validate understanding
In a recent class I was teaching on emotional intelligence one of the participants shared that between our two sessions, she practiced empathy with her son. Rather than her usual approach, she decided to try to label his emotion and understand his perspective. His response? “Mom, I feel like you’re finally listening to me.” Her emotion? Joy and delight.
Want to be that leader? The one who connects and inspires? Check out The Confident Leader.
When was the last time you consciously chose discomfort? You made a deliberate decision to do/say/behave in a way that you knew would make you feel awkward, afraid, frustrated, or vulnerable? And how did you get the courage to take action? I want you to think about the moment you decided to lean into discomfort. This is an important moment.
Because I’ve been doing this podcast now for one year. And it took me nearly a year prior to that to get the courage and the knowledge to even begin recording. I do remember weeping. I do remember foul language. Announcing to my husband, I CAN’T DO THIS. Until, I did.
I’ve chosen discomfort, 52 times so far, because I want to share leadership lessons with you. Did you know that according to research, ½ of first-time managers fail? And while I didn’t fail at management, I wish 30 years ago I would have had a “guide on the side.” More mentoring, more coaching. More people who would help me make better choices in managing myself and others.
So now, this is a mission of mine. To help each and every one of you know that your life is full of choices, and that leading others, influencing others, motivating and encouraging others is a powerful mission. And I believe so strongly and passionately, that it requires intentional effort to be successful.
Because that’s what choosing discomfort is all about. It is the stuff of our dreams, our goals. Because these things we want and strive for are aspirational, they are in the future. And most commonly we have to do/learn/try something new to accomplish them. Which is scary. And sometimes totally sucks. And so, like so many people, we don’t go there. Because well, it will require us to be confident and courageous in the face of the unknown. Which is hard.
What do you want in the future and what are you willing to do to get it? Are you willing to be awkward, look silly, be embarrassed, hop on the struggle bus? And are you willing to let others see you there, witness the journey?
I talked about this in my very first podcast, How to Be a Conscious Leader: Be Aware of Your Vulnerability in Learning. Are you willing to go through conscious incompetence to achieve your next leadership challenge?
When you choose discomfort you:
- Choose action over stagnation
- Demonstrate courage over safety
- Build confidence in yourself and your capabilities
- Are a visible role model for growth and development
- Increase trust in others through vulnerability
- Move towards your goals and dreams
- Live a life on purpose, with purpose
So, what did I learn from 52 weeks of discomfort? That is actually wasn’t 52 weeks of pain. Oh, those first few? Dicey. But then the awkwardness began to ebb…the practice of doing it began to feel more comfortable, familiar. The challenge was motivating. The process, easier. Oh, I’m not saying I’m a podcast ninja, but I’m here for you, teaching, sharing, and being a role model for change and growth.
Because if I can learn to do a freaking podcast, think what you can do.
And you know what? In the next few months, I’m going to start integrating interviews with really awesome leaders into my podcast. So, you can learn from them too. Do I know how I’m doing to do it? Hell no. But I’m going to show up and do it anyway.
Because discomfort is the price of my dreams. It’s yours too. So chose a goal for yourself this year, and think what you can do in 52 weeks.
Or do you want to accelerate your growth? Check out my amazing 12 week leadership course!
Do you notice how stressful it is when you expect something to be relatively easy and then it’s hard? Whether it’s a physical challenge (golf comes to mind) or a mental challenge, that feeling of frustration or overwhelm creeps in?
Same with leadership and managing people or processes? We get frequently get frustrated, either thinking we’re inadequate or thinking that others are the problem. But what if this is all wrong?
What if it’s supposed to be hard?
In talking with a friend last week, he described his joy (my word because that is the emotion that was coming across) over confronting challenges. That it gives him energy to face a complex problem and that is one of the best parts of his role (he runs a wonderful neighborhood restaurant in town). It made me think about all the people that I work with who get down about similar viewpoint (different specific challenges of course).
Same with our lives….my sister and I were commiserating about the holidays and she was sad and discouraged with the holiday experience. She didn’t want her co-workers to ask her about it, because she didn’t want to say it sucked.
It was the first one without our dad, and we all knew there would be an enormous void in our family events as there are in our lives. And I said what if it was supposed to suck? What if it was supposed to be sad?
To think we could have shifted our emotions or experience, well would we even want to? I didn’t necessarily want to feel abundant joy in the holidays, I wanted to get through them. And maybe that is okay. Because I could honor the emotions, the grief and sadness without expecting something more from myself. I don’t have to make it mean there’s a problem. Or that something is wrong with me.
Because the expectations are what matters. If I expect it to be easy, and then it’s hard, then there is the corresponding gap. Something is wrong (with the situation or with me).
The thought process is…I can think, this is hard:
· And it shouldn’t be
· I must be doing it wrong
· I’m not cut out for this
· And it’s someone else’s fault
· So-and-so would know what to do
Same with life, same with leadership. What if, sometimes, and I’m not saying ALL the time because that would totally suck. But sometimes you need that challenge to prove to yourself what you are capable of. What you can overcome. How you can dig deep within yourself to find the answers to the challenges.
Whether that is influencing a difficult stakeholder, or leading a controversial change, or handling an unreasonable client—what if this is your opportunity to grow? It doesn’t have to mean anything about negative about you. In fact, the obstacle is there for you to prove something to yourself. Show you what you are capable of, and what you’ll learn.
Because this holiday season was not supposed to be awesome. It was supposed to be sad. It was supposed to highlight the void, the break in our hearts, it was supposed to give me pause to reflect on the love for my father, and the absence of him in our lives.
Consider this in your next leadership or life challenge. This is life, it’s messy and complicated. And that is as it should be. Sometimes it’s going to be hard. It doesn’t’ mean it’s a problem with you. Don’t lower your expectations. Be realistic.
Ready for your next role? Wanting that promotion? Get ready to shine by strengthening your leadership and management skills: https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/
I was having a conversation with the President of a local company and he asked me why I thought he was in his role. Though he’s been in the position quite awhile, and well before we starting working together….still, I did have an educated opinion.
Because as a leader, he strives to continuously focus on learning, he works on self awareness, he is vulnerable in exploring his mindset and behaviors. He’s consistently asking for my feedback on his effectiveness or approach (not in a way that is based on self doubt or a lack of confidence, moreso in the quest for clarity, focus and impact). And these are qualities that I both admire and believe are critical to leadership effectiveness. They are the reasons I believe he is in his role. Someone else saw and valued this qualities and characteristics and put him in a position to use them.
He also asked me what differentiated leaders (those that are good to great) and I passionately believe it is these things…..emotional intelligence, specifically high self awareness and self management, coupled with continuous learning is a game changer. Because most leaders already have the technical knowledge, or they wouldn’t be in their role. That alone doesn’t inspire or motivate others but a focus on constant personal, professional and business improvement does.
So if you are a leader, or an aspiring one, focus on self awareness first. This is the foundation of personal and interpersonal effectiveness. This means a constant monitoring of your inner and outer worlds. What’s going on in your mind and what’s going on around you (that is affecting you whether you realize it or not).
What’s the big deal?
- So you can be deliberate about using your strengths
- In order to examine your unconscious thoughts and how they translate into your beliefs, habits and actions
- To be able to recognize the areas that can potentially derail you, or to take you away from your goals and aspirations
- Because high emotional intelligence has been shown to increase professional success and high performance (AND a higher salary!!).
The irony is the challenge in getting it. Or even understanding that it’s important. Because if you lack it, well, that’s the point. I see this in leadership training and coaching all the time. Helping others to understand their strengths and their development areas. Self awareness doesn’t mean all the things that need improvement, it’s also about the things you do well. Knowing them and intentionally using them, leveraging them.
How to increase self awareness:
- Introspection
- Focused learning
- Feedback from others
- Assessment tools:
- DiSC
- Myers-Briggs (MBTI)
- Individual Dimensions Inventory (IDI)
- Leadership 360
“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.” – Daniel Goleman
Increase your impact now, with The Confident Leader course. 12 weeks to strengthen your influence and legacy!
We’ve been exploring coaching, what it is, how to do it, common pitfalls. And you are a focused machine. You’re on fire! But. It’s. Not. Working.
What the heck? The good news is that there are several areas to explore. You. And them.
Let’s start with you.
1. Do a self-assessment.
Definition: coaching is a focused and intentional effort to help another person figure out the best way to achieve his or her goals, build skill sets or expertise, and produce the results the organization needs.
Explore your mindset.
- Clear and focused intentions?
- Patient and encouraging?
- Putting in the time required?
- Coming from a place of helpfulness?
Explore your behaviors.
- Clarifying intentions (i.e., value and benefits to them)?
- Using the right approach?
- Asking great questions?
- Listening deliberately?
- Engaging and supportive?
- Getting commitment to plans?
- Following through?
2. Do a motivation and competency audit for them.
What else might be going on. Consider: motivation and competency (i.e., will and skill).
Explore the six sources of influence: motivation and competency, combined with individual, social and environmental factors.
The six-source model helps us expand our view of why people do what they do. By looking at all six sources, we can expand our traditional thoughts about why people do the things they do.
Source 1: Self, Motivate (Pain and Pleasure) Taking pleasure from the current behavior or finding the desired behavior to be painful.
Example: Planning. Ew.
Source 2: Self, Enable (Strengths and Weaknesses) Lacking the knowledge or ability to perform the required task. Feel more capable performing a different task.
Example: Marketing. Ew.
Source 3: Others, Motivate (Praise and Pressure) Others (friends, family, coworkers, and bosses) punish the right behavior while praising the wrong behavior.
Example: Dad telling us to go to work.
Source 4: Others, Enable (Helps and Hindrances) Others make it hard or challenging to do the right behavior while making it easy to do the wrong behavior.
Example: Peer pressure at work, can’t say no to assignments.
Source 5: Things, Motivate (Carrots and Sticks) The formal reward structure encourages the wrong behavior while discouraging the right behavior.
Example: Sales team, rewards for individuals.
Source 6: Things, Enable (Bridges and Barriers) The environment, structure, policies, procedures, rules, and all other things make it hard or impossible to do the right behavior while making it easy to do the wrong behavior.
Example: Offer hybrid work environment, but not providing technology resources at home.
If you’re having a coaching challenge, it’s likely that you’re experiencing that challenge from your coaching (#bigbummer) or from something else influencing their behavior change. The good news is now you can more easily diagnose the problem.
The six sources of influence are based on the book, Influencer: The Power to Change Anything, by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, David Maxfield, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler.
Be the coach everyone wants to work for! You can: https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
In episode 46 about coaching, I defined one of the biggest pitfalls I see with coaches is telling versus asking.
This is a bit about how we see ourselves and the reframing required to be more effective as a coach. There are 4 reasons I believe we tell people what to do.
- Lack of knowledge or self-awareness: not effective?
- Our perceived role: problem solver, solution provider, fixer
- Our image: helpful, supportive
- Speed and convenience: fast and move to the next problem
Short and long term problems with this approach are:
- Individuals don’t take ownership over their own challenges and/or opportunities
- No buy-in or commitment to the solution; do it out of compliance
- Enables others to rely on us for solutioning (disempowering)
- Don’t strengthen problem solving skills
As a coach, the majority of time in a coaching discussion you should be asking questions rather than offering suggestions and/or advice (or solving people’s problems for them!).
Think of someone you’d like to coach. What is the area you’d like to grow or change? Write it down if you’re able. Then we’ll consider how to gain their insight and buy in to making the change. This comes through powerful questioning.
Ask great questions in the following 4 areas about the change/improvement you are advocating for:
I’ll use an example of someone who’s missing deadlines.
Uncover Root Cause: What is happening and/or not happening with the behavior? Why?
“What do you think is happening that makes it difficult for you to stay on top of your workload and meet your deadlines?”
“What is likely to make it difficult for you to change the situation?”
Understand the Reasons for Change: Help them understand the value of change and/or the consequences of not changing. This provides motivation to change.
“What do you think might happen if you do nothing to change?”
“Why is it important to you to improve?”
Envision the Desired State: Paint a picture of the desired state, how will they operate more effectively? What benefits with they achieve? How will they be performing better?
“What would you like to accomplish?”
“How will you know when you’ve succeeded?”
Explore Actions to Achieve Change: What is needed to change? What problems or barriers will arise that will affect the ability to change? Who needs to be involved? How and when will the change happen? The practical reality, the plan.
“What would you like to accomplish?”
“How will you know when you’ve succeeded?”
This questioning practice combined with the 4 steps to coaching I shared last episode will create a strong foundation for you for a successful coaching outcome.
Original Source based on: HRDQ, Coaching for Development & Coaching ConversationsBe the coach everyone wants to work for! You can: https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
Last week we talked about you being a coach. And also, what coaching is as well as some common pitfalls.
As a reminder, we said coaching is a focused and intentional effort to help another person figure out the best way to achieve his or her goals, build skill sets or expertise, and produce the results the organization needs.
Today we’re going to focus on the path to a successful discussion. And yes, this applies to you whether you have direct reports, or you’re a mentor, informal leader, or someone who has another’s best interests at heart.
There are 4 steps to this process.
Step 1: Set the Stage
- Define your intentions
- Schedule a discussion
- Prepare
Step 2: Define the Opportunity or Problem
- Focus on the behavior and results, not the person:
- Focus on facts, not assumptions:
- Be specific, using examples, instead of vague and general:
- Compare the current to the desired
- Encourage self-awareness and self-management
Step 3: Discuss & Explore Options
- Ask don’t tell
- Discuss pros and cons (of the actions being explored)
- Be deliberate in your support
- Identify the ideal action(s)
Step 4: Develop a Plan
- Clarify and confirm
- Set expectations for next steps
- Set a follow-up date
- Reinforce & express confidence
Original Source based on concepts from: HRDQ, Coaching for Development & Coaching ConversationsBe the coach everyone wants to work for! You can: https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
Do you consider yourself a coach? There are many definitions of a coach. You have one in your head.
Who's been a coach for you? How did they change you for the better? Or did they? A coach can change behavior through positive constructive actions or the opposite. You could have had a coach who was ineffective in their approach or technique, and yet you still may have learned from them.
Use your own lens as a window into your own approach. Consider, who thinks of you as their coach, and what impact you’re having on them.
Definition of Coaching, from the Global Executive Summary, Blessing White:
Coaching is a focused and intentional effort to help another person figure out the best way to achieve his or her goals, build skill sets or expertise, and produce the results the organization needs.
Of particular importance:
· Focused and intentional: Meaning coaching is a deliberate action, as coaches we know the individual and/or the organizational goals. We should know our purpose and intentions prior to coaching, and we should also tell the individual what our intentions are. This type of transparency establishes trust and builds a common purpose.
· Help the other person: This is essential in coaching, one of our biggest tools as an effective coach is asking questions. Through thoughtful and focused questions, we create awareness, perspective, and give context to why change is needed.
· Goals, skill set, expertise: In coaching, there is something to be gained for the individual that would help them to more effectively achieve their goals or aspirations. This means change, growth, development.
· Organizational results: We coach in the context of organizational needs. As a coach, one advantage we have is to see the bigger picture; a view of the world, customer/client, team, and/or organization in a way that provides an opportunity for growth or alignment.
There are 3 common pitfalls that I see in working with thousands of coaches:
-
No clear purpose/perspective focused on the individual and/or organization. Sometimes we want others to act, work, problem solve, decide and be like us. We have a bias for those like us. When others aren’t, we sometimes believe they are less effective. So, we coach them to be more like us. Which is problematic as an intention or goal. And is contrary to the definition above. Which is about them, their goals and their growth.
-
Telling versus asking. This is HUGE because when we’re a coach, we rely on our experience and knowledge, we believe that we know the right path, and/or can determine the best outcome for others to follow. The mistaken belief that we must solve everyone’s’ problems or to direct them is common and avoidable. And this one is tricky because sometimes we do this in the guise of being supportive, helpful coaches. But ironically we are helping ourselves with this approach (i.e., it saves time, makes us feel good/competent/ capable, much easier to execute) rather than our goal to develop others.
-
Not sharing the “why.” Providing encouragement, direction, a new challenge, or focused feedback requires context. A good coach provides the why behind the desired change.
Of course you are a coach. Who are you a coach to? Make it a goal to be a good coach, a great one. A legendary one. Be intentional. And consider the immortal words of Bobby Knight, “I don’t have to wait until the next morning to regret something that I did that was kinda dumb.”
Want more coaching confidence? https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
If you are in a place where you can, pause this recording and get a piece of paper and a writing utensil. Set a timer on your mobile device. 5 minutes, 3 minutes at least more than 2. And write down what is currently in your brain. No judging, no scrutinizing, no editing, just write. There is no right or wrong, you’re free flowing everything that is in your head. And let it out.
Look at the page. What do you see? If you’re like most people you may see the following:
Things you have to do but you haven’t yet…A list of some sort…Tasks?
What about your feelings, are they there? Things you are upset about, concerned about, worries?
What I noticed when I looked for patterns in my most recent thought download, was ultimately it was all about relationship. When I looked above the words on the page I saw a bigger picture. With my students, my family, my business, myself. And this clarity brought me a helpful perspective and more importantly some questions about what I wanted for those relationships.
So I want to offer a perspective on these thought downloads and the value to you not just as a leader, or future leader but in the bigger scheme of our lives. Our brains are commonly so full. This affects us emotionally, physically and psychologically. It affects our mood and productivity. It affects the quality of our relationships with others. And ourselves.
Does this impact your leadership? Your human beingness? Yes.
Maybe you’re already keep a journal and if so, yay you. If not, I’ll share some of the benefits to you, the value of regularly getting things out of your brain onto paper.
Benefits of Journaling:
- Stretching Your IQ: language, vocabulary, writing correlated with intelligence
- Evoking Mindfulness: focuses attention on your brain, unpack it, explore it in the present moment
- Achieving Goals: blueprint for your dreams, understanding what you aspire to change, improve
- Emotional Intelligence: process emotions, self awareness the foundation
- Boosting Memory and Comprehension: write it down, remember it, training, recall it
- Strengthen Your Self-Disciplined: strengthen this muscle, like at the gym
- Improve Communication Skills: writing and speaking are connected; though I would use caution around this one if you don’t believe you are a good writer
- Healing: journaling lowers stress, anxiety and better sleep
- Spark Your Creativity: bring ideas to the surface
- Self-Confidence: catalogue progress, achievements, accomplishments and relive them,
By Thai Nguyen
In addition to all of this, thought work, exploring what is in our brains helps us to decide what to keep in there and what to let go of.
It helps create clarity and focus. It allows us to make choices about our thoughts and those that are serving us and those that don’t. Beliefs about ourselves, others, situations, challenges.
All of it. You get to decide what stays in there. And what gets cleaned out. Maybe your not ready for the commitment to journaling, so just dip your toe in the water. Do this for a couple of days, a couple minutes a day. Just a mini brain cleanse. You may be amazed at what you discover about yourself. And isn’t that worth a few minutes a day?
Need inspiration, development and a bit of leadership fun? Join us at:
https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
Being a strong and decisive decision maker is essential to leading and leading confidently. Consider how your decision making can be strengthened, and how to improve decision making in your team.
Because strengthening decision-making in your team can increase engagement, buy-in and commitment to decisions. Decision making is a process. Most of us think of it as an action. A thing we do. Sometime easy sometimes more complex.
Decision-making process is a reasoning process based on assumptions of values, preferences and beliefs of the decision-maker. Every decision-making process produces a final choice, which may or may not prompt action.
There are many pitfalls to understand and avoid. Here are 5 that I see the most in leaders I work with.
Key pitfalls of poor decision making include:
1. Not making one
2. Not clearly identifying the problem or purpose
3. Trying to appeal to the collective
4. Lack of options
5. Mistaking opinions as facts; aka not relying on facts and evidence
Instill discipline and quality in your decision-making process by using a structured framework.
There are several tools that can be used that aid in decision-making:
· Decision Matrix
· Pro/Con Analysis
The value of the tools is discipline. Recognizing that without discipline we can fall into the trap of efficiency. How can that be a trap?
In many of my episodes I speak of our brains. An incredibly complex and amazing organ, and because its wired to be so efficient it takes shortcuts on our behalf. And in decision making this is so true, enter biases. I’ve read statistics which say we process thought automatically versus reflectively about 90+% of the time.
Want to know what might be influencing your automatic thoughts?
Similarity: we have a preference for what is like us over what is different; see those who are similar to us in a favorable light; hiring, promotions, delegation, development, workload management.
Experience: we see the world through our own lens and forget to take into consideration other perspectives and viewpoints.
Confirmation: we place more emphasis on and value on information that supports our beliefs.
Expedience: we are threatened by uncertainty and crave certainty; we may move towards quick decisions rather than gathering information, data and facts; need for closure?
Safety: we prefer to avoid loss, this need to protect may hold us back from risk-taking; research has shown that we prefer not to lose money even more than we prefer to gain it.
To improve your effective in decision making and those around you, consider the following practices.
- Discuss biases in problem solving and decision making. Your best defense is awareness and self discipline for you and others.
- Look at past decisions. Focus on trends or patterns that you see for yourself.
- Pay attention to decisions made my others (in a non-judgmental manner).
- Use reflective thinking. Consider decision making a process and discipline. Give it your deliberate time and attention.
Life is the sum of all of your choices – Albert Camus
Choose wisely, choose development for you: http://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com
These last few weeks I said the most difficult goodbye of my life as I watched my father’s health fade and he passed on to the next chapter in his life.
I have to say that despite the cold hard facts, that he was 87 and that he had a myriad of significant health problems, I had a difficult time adjusting to the reality. And I was forced to say my goodbyes.
This situation made me think about the times in our lives when we have to say goodbye. And how we approach them.
Goodbyes defined, are used to express good wishes when parting or the end of a conversation. To the most perfunctory-- the walking out the door at the beginning of our day, or hanging up the phone, exiting a remote meeting. Where its mindless, no real effort, no reflection. It’s automatic and easy.
To the much more significant-- saying so long to friendships that no longer serve us or leaving jobs or roles that are holding us back.
From brief, hasty and fleeting to the more careful, thorough, exhaustive, and sorrowful.
So of course, my brain has been spinning as I think about the lessons here. And sometimes, our reluctance to say goodbye.
You know those grief stages? By Elizabeth Kubler Ross? She was a Swiss-American psychiatrist and pioneer in death studies, I discovered her in college. Her internationally best selling book, On Death and Dying (1969) identified the 5 stages of grief.
Ironically, I’ve used these too in change leadership classes, as many of the stages are relevant as well for how we go through change personally or professionally.
Denial, resistance, exploration, and acceptance? We go through them all not only when we are grieving, but when we are changing and evolving.
And as you consider your life in its current state. What goodbyes are there left unsaid? And more importantly, what’s holding you back? Are there relationships that you are reluctant to end or a role you’re unwilling to let go of? Are you afraid to say farewell? And if so, why?
Are you in denial about the state of affairs? Ironically, denial is the stage that can initially help you survive the change. Whether the loss of someone, or your identify, your role. It means feelings are coming to the surface. And once they do, you can do something with them.
Which brings us next to anger and this is an interesting one, because where or who is the target of the anger. In a job is it others, or is it you for not setting boundaries of whatever is creating the dissatisfaction? Feeling stuck and unfulfilled? Or by someone else’s expectation of you?
As you reach the exploration stage…it’s about opening yourself up to the possibility. Yes it will be hard, and there will be loss, but also you may start considering the gains. How will you benefit from the goodbye? This stage moves you forward.
And this is the saying goodbye. The willingness to acknowledge the time is right, and the knowing that the time is never right is it?
So my question for you today is this. Is there a goodbye you’re reluctant to say, but you know it needs to be said. Not that you have to say it, but merely explore it so you make a conscious choice. For now. Be open to examining your mindset and how your choice is affecting you.
Because I know too, when I’ve worked through the anger and the depression, there is a light out there. No matter how distant, I start to move towards it. And I find some peace.
Goodbye dad.
Last episode I focused on the definition of accountability and the importance of understanding what it means, and more important what it doesn’t mean (aka, blame and fear).
Let’s focus now on how to create an atmosphere of accountability and explore it as a practice.
Ex: You are on a team to explore and enhance customer experience practices: tere is a project manager, you, the rest of the team, & your manager. When you consider accountability, who is the most accountable for the results of that project team? What % would you give each? What are all those numbers and who’s number is the highest?
What I commonly find in training, is that often the %’s for accountability are highest for the PM, followed by ourselves, the rest of the team, and the manager the least. Because the PM is in charge, and the manager would probably be pretty hands off.
Often this is how we think about accountability. We think of who is more and who is less. We sometime think about whoever is in charge, or in power is most accountable. If something goes wrong, they have to take the ownership, right?
But there are flaws with this way of thinking….because what if you were rather than considering a customer experience, you were going into an operating room for surgery. Would you say the surgeon is the most accountable and that others are less so? Do you want the anesthesiologist or any attending nurses to be less than 100%? Is there any job or role less important or vital to the success of the surgery? Any one who you would want to show up less than 100% accountable? Are they not all equally and fully accountable?
Because accountability means that we own up to our own actions. That we are answerable to the outcome. That we’re willing to look back at our actions/inactions, decisions/non-decisions, and choices and own them—good or bad.
Which means everyone can be 100% accountable. That’s right. Simultaneously. For those of us who think about who is “more” and who is “less” accountable have a hard time wrapping our brain about this mindset. But that is exactly what we need to get more accountability.
Step 1: put the emphasis on clear responsibility. Make sure others understand and commit to the role, task or project. Responsibility can be shared, as long as roles are clear.
Step 2: give ownership over getting the role, task or project done. Which means they will try new things, make mistakes, take some risks. Ownership cannot be shared. Ownership means we take the actions that are needed to accomplish the goals. We give it our all.
Step 3: is accountability. This is the ongoing process, the looking back, assessing what we’ve done or not. It means we are disciplined enough to ask the hard questions, and also strong enough to recognize and celebrate our accomplishments.
So if you want more accountability in your life, change your mindset first. Know that you can be 100% accountable and responsible at all times. Know that accountability is a process and a practice. It starts with clear expectations, one’s that are agreed to. We then give ownership to others, to allow them to take risks and make mistakes. Remember that someone allowed you this grace as well. And finally we demonstrate accountability. That willingness to own up to our actions, choices and decisions. We are answerable to the outcome that we created.
Accountability takes awareness, understanding and discipline. And I have the confidence in you to achieve it. Want to know how to create accountability everyday?
https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
This question is a no-brainer, right? Who in their right mind would say no to the question, do you really want accountability? Of course, we all do. This question is actually more complex than it initially appears.
If you had to define accountability, how would you? I hear things like dependability, reliability, ownership, initiative. Each of those words powerful in their own right. But I think this adds to the confusion about accountability, because we label it differently, define it differently and then are confused about how to get more of it.
Ultimately, accountability means that we own up to our own actions. That we are answerable to the outcome. That we’re willing to look back at our actions/inactions, decisions/non-decisions, and choices and own them—good or bad.
And that is what we want don’t we? For others to be accountable for doing the things they say they will do, so that they will hold themselves accountable. Because if they do, we don’t have to. And that is an incredibly significant statement. They will hold themselves accountable, so we don’t have to.
Because if we have to, it means we have to address gaps, we have to confront difficult conversations. And who wants that stress? How many challenging conversations do you want?
Most of us don't. Because the conversation will be potentially uncomfortable, awkward, and well, who knows how the other person will respond.
If they would have done it to begin with….we wouldn’t have to talk to them and then wouldn’t spending time on worrying about holding them more accountable because they didn’t do something. But thinking of accountability in this way is problematic. When we consider accountability in the negative sense, it’s becomes about blame.
But that’s not true.
Because accountability is both, the successes and the failures. And I think sometimes we forget that element of it. That we get to focus on the successes as well. We receive the positive consequences, just as equally as the looking back on our shortfalls.
To get more accountability, you must start with you. And the organizational culture, either supports or detracts from accountability.
How many are TRUE?
- I’ve never been chastised for making a mistake.
- I rarely find myself having to follow up with others to make sure they’ve completed their tasks.
- All managers are role models for accountability.
- There are clear consequences for non-performance.
- I’ve never seen others around me “get in trouble” for making a mistake.
- Risk taking (appropriate, not in regard to safety) is encouraged.
- Employees demonstrate a great deal of initiative to get the job done regardless of the challenges they face.
- Power is shared with all employees.
- When new projects are assigned, goals and expectations are clear.
- Good performance is appreciated, recognized, and rewarded.
- Managers give employees a great deal of freedom and autonomy to get the job done.
- There are clear goals and expectations for all roles.
Original source unknown
The more trues you have, the more accountability you have in your culture.
Consider:
- Accountability is being answerable to an outcome. It means we own up to our actions. It is about acknowledging successes and shortfalls.
- Most think about accountability connected to blame. We fear it, because we see it as a threat.
- If you want accountability, you must be a role model for it.
- Accountability is cultural and can be strengthened.
Want to learn how to set goals AND increase accountability? https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
Robert Greenleaf created the theory of servant leadership in 1970 at the age of 66. At the time, he was working at AT&T, where he had risen from lineman into organizational management. “The servant-leader is servant first… It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead.” Larry Spears, longtime President/CEO of the Robert K. Greenleaf Center, came up with 10 principles of servant leadership; his list of essential ingredients from moving from a hierarchical autocratic style to one in which is focused on relationships and trust.
10 Principles
1. Listening Podcast 35 How to suck less at listening - Intentionaleaders
2. Empathy Podcast 19 Your Relationship with Emotions - Intentionaleaders
Podcast 20 Emotions - Intentionaleaders
3. Healing Podcast 32 When is a Problem Not a Problem - Intentionaleaders
4. Awareness Podcast 17 The Johari Window - Intentionaleaders
Podcast 37 Too Much of a Good Thing - Intentionaleaders
5. Persuasion Podcast 18 Influence Versus Pressure - Intentionaleaders
6. Conceptualization Podcast 05 Being Motivational - Intentionaleaders
7. Foresight Podcast 03 Embracing Failure - Intentionaleaders
8. Stewardship Podcast 06 Manager or Leader - Intentionaleaders
Podcast 08 Knowing Your Values - Intentionaleaders
9. Commitment to the growth of people Podcast 04 Choosing Growth - Intentionaleaders
Podcast 25 How to Burn Out Your Top Performers - Intentionaleaders
10. Building community Podcast 13 Collaboration - Intentionaleaders
Podcast 31 Get Immediate Engagement and Motivation - Intentionaleaders
This selfless mindset means a perceived loss of control, of power. Are you strong enough?
Because if you can embrace this mindset shift, & understand the foundational characteristics, all of which are difficult to argue with…You too can act purposefully, lead transparently, authentically and serve successfully.
Want to strengthen your servant leadership: https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/
Last week, we met Fred. What a pain in the ass. He’s making us miserable because he’s obnoxious and aggressive. He’s embarrassed us and lashed out.
We explored cognitive distortions. When our brain tricks us into thinking something is actually true. By exploring our reactions to Fred, we examined: filtering, personalization, overgeneralizations, catastrophizing and shoulds. None of these thought patterns serve us, yet they are so easy to trap us.
This episode, I promised you more:
JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS Without Fred saying so, we think we know what Fred is feeling and thinking — and exactly why he acts the way he does. E.g., we may believe that Fred holds a grudge against us, because he received less budget money than we did last year. We conclude this, but don’t bother to find out if this is true or not.
BLAMING When we engage in blaming, we hold other people responsible for our emotional pain. E.g., we blame Fred for making us feel bad. However, no one can “make” us feel anything. We control our thoughts and emotions. We are choosing our emotions, by our negative thoughts about Fred.
EMOTIONAL REASONING The distortion of emotional reasoning can be summed up by the statement, “If I feel that way, it must be true.” Whatever we feel is believed to be true automatically and unconditionally. In emotional reasoning, our emotions overrule our logic, our rational thoughts and our ability to reason.
FALLACY OF CHANGE In the fallacy of change, we expect that other people will change to meet our needs (this is our manual) if we influence, pressure or coax them to change. We believe that we’ll be happier if the change occurs. This is particularly true in our relationships with others. If only I can help Fred to become less aggressive in his communication, I will/would have a great relationship with him.
POLARIZED THINKING/BLACK & WHITE In polarized thinking, there are 2 options; “black-or-white.” We have to manage and change Fred, or our professional life will be miserable. Fred goes or we go. When our thinking is polarized we don’t see the nuances in the situation, and we don’t see the many options available to us in solving problems. The extremes limit our options and our effectiveness.
To lead your brain, rather than your brain leading you:
- Be self aware. Pay attention to negative feelings; connect to the present, what do you feel and why?
- Uncover the negative thought. Thoughts precede emotions, so pay attention to how you are labelling the situation (i.e., label the distortion, or if you cannot tell the story to someone else, and have them help you to label it).
- Find the evidence; uncover the facts in the situation. Be aware of how your opinions, assumptions, shoulds, speculations, or generalizations are affecting how you are seeing the situation; focus on the facts.
- See the situation from the other person’s point of view. Why would they be acting the way they are? How can you see the situation from a different perspective? And, how are you contributing to the situation?
- As you examine your thoughts, are they rational or not? If not, reframe them. If they are rational, work through the emotiob; feel the feelings; feelings won't hurt you.
Distortion explanations by John M. Grohol, Psy.D.https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
A senior colleague of yours is unpredictable and antagonistic, Fred. Yesterday you were in a budget meeting discussing needs for next year. It was ugly. He yelled at you. You left the meeting feeling embarrassed, frustrated and angry.
Let’s consider the potential scripts running through your mind. See which one resonates the most closely with your possible point of view in this scenario with Fred.
You think about the interaction and…
- You can’t stop thinking about Fred’s actions. The raised voice, his bad behavior. You keep thinking, how could he have treated me so unprofessionally? It’s just so rude. It’s bullying in the workplace.
- You think, Fred is out to get me. You’ve noticed how poorly he’s treated you since the day you arrived. He clearly has an issue with you.
- You knew the meeting would be a train wreck. Every budget meeting is. Plus, Fred was there. When he’s in the meeting, it’s going to be a catastrophe.
- You leave the meeting knowing you will be fired. It’s inevitable. You weren’t prepared for this meeting, couldn’t even advocate for your own budgetary needs and now your team won’t get what they need. And of course your boss was there. This is a nightmare. You’re doomed.
- He shouldn’t be acting this way. And I shouldn’t have to be treated this way. This is just not right. People should be allowed to behave like this.
This process of considering the situation, how you perceive it, is vital to your professionalism, credibility, and wellbeing. Let's talk about cognitive distortions.
Wikipedia: A cognitive distortion is an exaggerated or irrational thought pattern. It’s a negativity bias. These distortions are thoughts that cause us to perceive reality inaccurately.
They lead to stress, anxiety, poorer well being and even depression. And the good news, is we can change these patterns. But first we have to know what they are.
1 FILTERING: A person engaging in filtering takes the negative details and magnifies those details while filtering out all positive aspects of a situation. When a cognitive filter is applied, the person sees only the negative and ignores anything positive.
2 PERSONALIZATION is a distortion where a person believes that everything others do or say is some kind of direct, personal reaction to them. They literally take virtually everything personally, even when something is not meant in that way.
3 OVERGENERALIZATION: A person comes to a general conclusion based on a single incident. If something bad happens just once, they expect it to happen over and over again, an unpleasant event is a part of a never-ending pattern of defeat.
4 CATASTOPHIZING: When a person engages in catastrophizing, they expect disaster to strike, no matter what.
#5 SHOULDS: Is a list of ironclad rules about how every person should behave. People who break the rules make them angry. They also feel guilty when they violate their own rules. (See Podcast: The Manual.)
These are only a few of the most common cognitive distortions. (Spoiler alert: Next episode we’ll explore a few others.)
This week, be aware. Both self-aware and aware of others. Notice the line of thinking. Catch yourself or catch others. No judgement, just observing. How much does it happen? To you and to those around you. And also, what is the impact of this line of thinking.
Distortion explanations by John M. Grohol, Psy.D.Want a reality check on your mindset and your skillset? https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
You know that moment. The first thin mint is glorious….you have another. Then another. And soon that very small sleeve of deliciousness is gone, and then the second sleeve...Was the 32nd as good as the first? Did we need the other 31?
Anyway, you know the feeling. Too much of a good thing may not be incrementally better. And at some point, it’s well, worse.
So, let’s consider this from a workplace point of view. Let’s say you identify with one of the following: You have a strong work ethic, or relate strongly to others, are an achiever, have a orientation to planning and organizing, are responsible, have a zest for competition, your'e highly analytical.
Have you ever been in a situation when any of these strengths became problematic? Is there an optimal use of our strengths?
Yes, absolutely. Strengths overplayed become a disadvantage to all of us. And ironically can breed stress, resentment and exhaustion.
Alex Linley’s definition of a strength is a pre-existing capacity for a particular way of behaving, thinking, or feeling that is authentic and energizing to the user and enables optimal functions, development and performance.
We can gain significant personal and professional value from connecting to our strengths, here are some benefits, they give us:
- increased authenticity (i.e., being our true self)
- intrinsic motivation
- a sense of flow and positive experiences
- our life more meaning
- helpful coping mechanisms
- greater psychological well-being
- less stress; less depressive symptoms
- higher job satisfaction and…
- increased engagement
The challenge is all about the balance. Because itt should also be noted that just using your strengths more is not really effective.
To be truly leveraged, strengths should be developed and used in the context of situational awareness. Meaning using them the optimal amount in the right situation.
For example, if one of your strengths is honesty, are there any times that you would not be honest? Or that you would be less forthright with your opinion?
And how would we even know that our strengths are even being overused?
Typically, we know they are being overused in one of two ways. We receive feedback from those around us that is not in alignment with our intentions. Our ongoing focus on creativity, our quest for originality, becomes eccentricity. Or our pursuit of teamwork feels like dependence.
Or we realize that internally our energy in the use of our strengths, begins to drain.
Examples: Planning, Organizing, Responsibility
Because even the most amazing strengths, can be problematic in reality or perception by others: Honesty can be righteousness, kindness can become intrusiveness, fairness is detachment, teamwork, dependence and perseverance, obsessiveness.
To use our strengths, we must consider how to use them optimally. Consider the following in the application of yours:
- Know your strengths
- Be self aware
- Find new uses for your strengths
- Ask for feedback
Because if you are a thin mint….you’ll garner a lot of fans and followers but with 16 per sleeve and 160 calories in 4 cookies, 40 calories a piece. At some point, it just might be too much. For you and for those around you.
Resource: Positivepsychology.com
Find your strengths and lead with them! The Confident Leader
Did you know that the past no longer exists, except in your mind? That the past is gone, and what you choose to remember is your choice?
And why does this matter? Because how you define yourself, your confidence, tends to be based on your past and your experiences. The thoughts you think about your past affects you, but what happened in the past does not.
Yes what you remember and how you feel about it is completely within your control. You are narrating the story. How you’re telling the story, is subjective, it is in some ways just that, our own recounting of a situation. One which could be told dramatically and sometimes in direct opposition to ours.
Have you ever shared an experience and someone else, a friend of family member recounts it in a completely different manner?
Because if you’ve been dragging around a negative experience and thoughts about yourself for a few days, a few months, or a few years…this matters. It shapes and reinforces your perceptions of yourself.
Okay so let’s consider this for a moment. I want you to think of what you perceive as a negative memory for you at work. Something about you, that you did or didn’t do.
Now tell yourself the story about this situation. How would you describe it? I really want you to consider the narrative you are choosing in the telling of the story to yourself.
Are you the victim? Was someone else the villain? Or are you putting the focus squarely on you? Was this was your screw up? Your failure?
And as you re-tell the story. How do you feel? What emotion does the story evoke? Drop into the feeling, place yourself back into the situation. How do you see it?
Whenever you experience a negative emotion, anxiety, disappointment, anger, sadness, sorrow, or dread—it’s because you have a negative thought about the past.
This thought is optional. Because your past is over. But the thoughts you have about your past are affecting you right now.
What if your story is completely wrong? What if you’ve characterized it inaccurately? Let’s consider that.
Example: My Story = Cyndi insults her boss in front of his boss
Example: Client Story = Not getting the sale
And we do this. We blame ourselves. Why choose to consider this our failure or our mistake? Why choose to remember the past in a way that makes us feel inadequate, or less than?
And this is the choice. The choice to beat ourselves up, to make ourselves someone the character in the story that was the victim, was victimized or just completely screwed up. But we don’t have to narrate our past that way.
Does your past empower you? Are you the hero? Are you the ones who tries and perseveres?
How do you want to characterize your past. It’s yours to tell. No one gets to craft your story. Only you. You get to make this decision, what you make your past mean for you.
You can believe that your past has made you the strong capable leader you are today. Or not. And that is optional.
Build a strong future, I'll show you how: The Confident Leader.
You have something important to say. Or maybe you just need a listening ear. Who do you turn to? Who do you trust to listen, to care, to honor and respect the space you need to be heard? What does that person do that makes you feel valued and heard?
Most times it’s the little things, the eye contact, the full attention, the thoughtful follow up questions, the summarizing of your thoughts and feelings, the lack of judgment that allows you to be transparent, vulnerable.
And all of these very small deliberate acts create a profound effect on our relationship. So why is it so hard to create this space with everyone we encounter—work or home? Why is listening in this way—the way we know how to do, such a challenge?
We know it will improve our connections and relationships, yet we don’t always make the right choices. Even the small ones.
Let’s review some really amazing data on talking and listening.
- People speak at a rate of 125-150 words per minute.
- People can listen at a rate of 300-400 words per minute.
- 60% of misunderstandings can be traced to poor listening and only 1% to written communications.
Our brain works against us in terms of listening, and so do our filters. We have the internal filters, like the capacity thing…..or other factors like: judging, biases, not understanding the language, the chosen words, not caring, we don’t actually like the other person, we’re tired, hungry, stressed, cold, hot, overwhelmed, etc.
Each of these affect our ability to listen. And the impact of attentional filters, those things that distract us from outside of ourselves are huge. And while they mostly work outside of our awareness, some of them directly affect our awareness. Oh you know the number one our HAND HELD MOBILE DEVICES. Yes, I am yelling.
The fact that we have our mobile devices so close by, plays a part in our attention. And our mind has a limited capacity for attention and willpower. Research proves that our brain has the ability to process one person talking to us effectively, and even this is hard for our brains. We have to be mindful of the person and the information we’re taking in again, beyond the words.
What to do?
In coaching we call being mindful, present and ready to listen—“holding the space.” I am both literally and figuratively holding a space in which you can communicate to me—and I will listen actively, opening, lovingly and supportively. Holding the space means I give you the ultimate respect, my undivided attention.
How can you hold the space?
- Eliminate distractions: obvious but extremely challenging because they are inside of us, outside of us and frequently outside of our consciousness
- Pay attention to sub-text, tone and body language account for a huge portion of the meaning of our messages—listen beyond the words, watch beyond the words
- Be mindful of misalignment between body language/tone and the words, tone and body language are more honest
- Remember your capacity to listen at a higher rate than others speak; resist the urge to interrupt, plan what you are going to say, or solve others problems
- Paraphrase what you’ve heard to confirm, validate, clarify and increase trust and rapport
- Be open, non-judgmental; we judge all the time; resist this with all of your mind and body
Most of these suggestions are painfully obviously, however not consistently applied. In order for a message or conversation to be embedded into our minds and hearts, we must give it attention.
Who do you owe this to? Yourself. And every important relationship you want to keep.
Yes, 12 weeks to reach your leadership goals!
When uncovering characteristics that great leaders share, typically participants in a training class will say, “Great leaders are good role models, they lead by example.” I don’t remember a single discussion on this topic where that characteristic was not mentioned.
And I’m thinking, yeah….but what does that really mean?
Early in my leadership days when I was climbing the corporate ladder, I was certainly leading by example. I worked endlessly, long hours with a never-ending intensity that had me frequently ignoring my family, my friends and my life. I took on every challenge presented with a focus and passion unequaled (my humble observation) by others. I was tireless. Committed. Achieving.
Yup, I was a role model for hard work. I led by example. What was I teaching? In hindsight, I certainly wasn’t modeling a healthy balance in life. And I was missing opportunities to empower and delegate to others.
So, when I hear leaders or emerging leaders say that they want to lead by example, okay I get it. I believe what they’re saying is that we should do what we expect from others. Align our words and actions. Be honest, reliable, authentic, transparent or many other amazing characteristics that we long for from our leaders.
I think we need to be more intentional with this strategy. Those who lead with the, “I want to lead by example” strategy, without clarity about what is to be modeled, or even if that characteristic is valued or noticed by others—may fall short in getting their followers to follow.
Just because I am passionate about my work does not mean others will be. Just because I am honest and direct does not translate into others behaving in this same manner. I can be modelling and an example of all kinds of behaviors, things that I believe are essential ingredients to success. And others can choose to ignore them.
I mean if this strategy worked, we’d never have a performance problem would we? Because that would mean that whatever that individual was doing, we were modeling or doing too. And that would suck.
If you really want lead by example, be more deliberate. Consider what you want to be known for. What examples are you setting? Or ask others what you are known for. Examples we set can be positive and constructive, or they can be not so awesome.
What if you’re impatient? What if you cancel meetings on a regular basis? What if you are chronically late? What if you don’t hold others accountable? What if you don’t address conflict? You are leading by example.
And this is the dark side of this strategy. That others notice the good and the bad of how we lead.
Of course this doesn’t mean we can be perfect. Nor should we aspire to be. What it means is when we do set a poor or bad example, we notice it. Admit it. Talk about it. Do better next time. And learn from it.
So, should you stop trying to lead by example? Heck no, knock yourself out. And I mean that, be the one who shows how it’s done. How people should be treated. And I mean that, be the one who shows how it’s done. How people should be treated. How effective results can be achieved with hard work and persistence. But don’t expect that others will automatically model the same.
Be clear in the kinds of behaviors you are modelling and what you want to be an example of….and don’t let this replace being crystal clear in what you expect from others.
Because leading by example doesn’t mean that others will watch, absorb, model and value what you value.
Want to lead on purpose with clarity, focus and a plan? Check out: The Confident Leader
How many times have you said, “Let me think about it.” Or “I need more time to think about it.” Or some version of those thoughts.
And then you think. And think. And think some more.
This is good, right? We think more and harder and more clearly. Because this means we are engaging in critical thinking. Or are we?
Because what if my actual thinking about a topic is flawed, and then I just keep thinking in the same way about the issue. Is that thinking helpful?
Ex: Leadership challenge: I don't like the way someone else is leading. But what if my thinking itself is full of biases or assumptions or emotions, or black and white thinking that impede my ability to even consider what to do? How is thinking more about the issue helping? Or is it in fact reinforcing the lack of quality in the thinking and the outcome.
The answer might be yes.
I was immersed in this topic a few years ago when teaching a class. I learned some powerful and mind altering lessons on the power of this competency and practice and when to notice that I am not using it, or well, when others are not either.
What critical thinking is not: being critical, thinking, thinking more, evaluation without investigation.
Critical Thinking is: disciplined thinking that is clear, rational, open-minded, and in-formed by evidence.
But there are some key pitfalls, and here are only 3 of them.
1. Rationalization: Is the opposite of logical thinking. When thinking logically, you start with evidence and move to a conclusion based on the evidence. With rationalization, you begin with the conclusion you want and then gather evidence to support that conclusion. A common result of using rationalization: excuses!
· Evidence → Conclusion = Logic
· Conclusion → Evidence = Rationalization; a common result = excuses
2. Emotional Thinking: Means the absence of logic.
Emotional thinking occurs when: Reacting to a feeling; or emotional language, or wishful thinking, or emotional attachment to an issue. You’ll notice this in language.
Judgements: “If you were a good manager, you would have realized the pressure I am under.”
Attributions: “Why are you taking advantage of me?”
Characterizations: “You’re just so inconsiderate.”
Problem Solving: “The answer is for you to plan more effectively.”
3. BiasesCognitive bias = error in our thinking that affects our judgment and decision making. There are tons. Over 180, google it, it’ll freak you out.
4 Key Characteristics to Foster Critical Thinking
- Curiosity
- Awareness
- Flexibility
- Common Sense
Here are key takeaways:
- Critical thinking is essentially evaluating your thinking for clarity, openness and facts.
- There are many pitfalls that derail us : Rationalization, emotional thinking and biases.
- We can cultivate it thought: curiosity, awareness, flexibility and common senses.
“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”
– Christopher HitchensResource: HRDQ RL Critical Thinking
Be a great leader, 12 weeks to foster your thinking and leadership skills!
Problems are everywhere, and we like to discuss them. Think of 2 problems you have at work right now.
Here are examples: short staffed; co-worker is not working as hard as I am; anxiety in my team; morale down; we're not working collaboratively; leader has no vision; no strategic plan; turnover too high; employee retention too low.
Are these problems? We would say absolutely yes!
A problem is by definition, a deviation or gap. It means something not to standard or expectations. Sometimes we see something that we perceive as negative (in our heads) and we label it a problem, but is it?
If an employee is not following a process or procedure it’s a problem right? But what is the problem? Is there a quality problem because they’re not following the process? Or does it bother us because they’re not following the rules, even when they have an effective outcome? The outcome is the important element here, that is what constitutes a potential problem.
So why is this even important? Because our thoughts generate emotions. And because these thoughts are negative, they will generate negative emotions. Negative emotions tend to generate actions that are less productive. And those actions contribute to our lack of results. It means we spend more time focusing on negative thoughts rather than constructive problem solving.
And what’s so important to understand is, we consider these thoughts a fact. We believe our brains. Our brain offers us something negative and we readily accept it.
Morale is down. We feel anxious. Or maybe guilty or inadequate, like we need to fix it, to change or improve it.
And sometimes we think things are problems, but we have little control over solving them.
Like the perception that my co-worker is not working as hard as I am...At the end of they day, is this a problem we believe we can or should solve? Does it matter and is it worth the mental energy we are expending on it? How is this thought serving us? Is there value to it?
And I’m certainly not saying to ignore problems. It’s important to be solving problems, improving the work environment, and work practices. I 100% believe that.
At the same time, I believe that we characterize a lot of our negative thoughts as problems. And then those problems bother us, we stew on them. They affect our mood; they create stress and anxiety and they prevent us from solving more pressing problems.
Consider the following with your previously identified problems:
1. Is this a negative thought your brain if offering you, or a problem to be solved?
2. What is the “gap” between the current and the “gold standard” and/or best practice?
3. What are the facts in the situation? Do you have data to support your thoughts?
4. What are the consequences of this gap not being closed and/or addressed (i.e., does it matter)?
5. How can you frame this problem in a way that you can identify multiple options for solving it? (i.e., get out of the black/white thinking mindset)
We need to be good role models for problem solving and stress management. Our brains will constantly give us negative thoughts. And often we see these as problems. Soon we have 3452 problems to be solved. This is not true. And it causes us and those around us anxiety.
Let’s think about problems that require our focus and attention. And solve those. Let the other thoughts be. You have permission to let them go.
We'll help you discover how to solve those REAL leadership challenges, in The Confident Leader!
In these podcast episodes I ask you to take a little peek into your brains. I ask and offer you the chance to identify what you're telling yourself and if it is serving you. Meaning, do your thoughts and beliefs help you to feel good, productive, strong, empowered, confident, competent and, at the end of the day, amazing? Or not.
Because once you bring your thoughts and beliefs to the surface, you have a choice in what actions to take to believe them and continue to think them, or not. This reflection can be life changing. Research suggests that 90% of the thoughts we had yesterday are the same thoughts we will have today. Unless we deliberately change them.
Think of 2 negative things you've told yourself at work this past week. These thoughts don't serve us. So how do we stop? Did you know we can coach ourselves? And did you know the best leaders do?
One quick tip for coaching yourself is to ask questions. Your brain loves a challenge, we give it a problem to solve, it will start seeking solutions. You know as we coach others, we are taught to ask questions (see Podcast 16 Strategic Questions). Start with open ended questions.
Asking ourselves questions can move us from self flagellation to action. In coaching, we ask questions to engage and move toward problem solving. How will these questions help us solve our perceived problems?
Or will they? And what did you notice about my questions? They’re all open ended. They all begin with why.
Why questions are SO tricky! They aren’t very useful. Why? Because why questions immediately trigger our defensive mechanisms. They have Implications: Why didn’t you? Why haven’t you? Why aren’t you? Don’t you think you should have? Could have?
Example: Why am I so disorganized? Then I find and list the reasons. This list of answers reinforces our original negative thoughts about ourselves and doesn’t help us to engage in moving forward. In fact, they may make us feel even less effective and able to create the change we want in ourselves. What if we change the first question we ask ourselves, avoiding the why question.
Options: What is one thing I could do each day to help me feel more organized? How can I carve out 10 minutes a day for planning? What one small action would help me organize my schedule?
These questions engage our brain in solving a problem, rather than ruminating on the reasons for the problem. They are much more focused on forward action. Even if we don’t have the answer immediately, our brain will continue to ponder the question, seek an answer and discover a solution.
The important shift here is in in the question we ask ourselves. If we ask a question in the negative, our brains will identify negatives (many times the reasons we’re being as productive or constructive as we want to be). If we ask our brains something constructive and positive (i.e., forward moving), our brain will answer that question.
And that will make all the difference in coaching ourselves for positive growth and change.
And this is what creates a shift in our identify and in they way we talk to ourselves.
This is how we change. And once you create this habit for yourself, you will be a much more effective coach for others around you. Because rather than focusing on the problem, you focus on solutions.
This is the best news I can share with you today.
Back to the negative thoughts you had about yourself…what question can you ask yourself today that will make you feel stronger & more empowered tomorrow?
Want to be the best coach you know? Check it out!
If you listened to Podcast 5 on Motivation you know the difference between extrinsic and intrinsic motivation. Extrinsic motivators are rewards we get for doing something, they come from outside of us. Intrinsic motivators are those that come from within us, the act of doing something is in itself, rewarding.
Goals are intrinsically motivating. We want to accomplish goals. Benchmarks and expectations have been proven time and time again to improve performance.
If you want more engagement and motivation starting tomorrow then set effective goals. Generate energy within your team around a common challenge. Goals help us to achieve results. But beware, not all goals are motivating. Goals need to be crafted effectively. And they need to be discussed collaboratively.
Locke & Latham's Goal Setting Principles: Clarity, Challenge, Commitment, Feedback, Task Complexity
We want to incorporate these principles into goal development, the SMART acronym helps us to do that. SMART goals = Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Timebound
SMART goals are invaluable. Let's highlight the difference between Performance and Learning Goals.
Performance is about the outcomes; this is what we typically measure. They commonly answer, “Did we perform better or not?” Learning is about engaging the mind to enhance performance. It is a way to engage others in the meeting of the performance goals through understanding and action. Both are meaningful and important. Learning goals help us to reach performance goal.
Let’s say we are missing important project deliverables in our team. We could set the following goals:
Ø Lame Goal: Improve timeliness of project deliverables.
Ø Performance Goal: Improve timeliness on project deliverables by 5% in the next 60 days. (also SMART)
Ø Learning Goal: Identify 2 obstacles that affect project timeframes in the next 30 days.
Performance goals are about the results we want, improving timeliness. Learning goals help us to achieve the performance goals, in this case, understanding obstacles. They move us towards the results by connecting actions and learning to the overall goal.
If your organization has performance goals, financial, sales, service, production, quality, etc. focus on learning goals in your team. Engage employees in the attainment of the goal by learning about the causes and possible solutions to achieve the overall goal. Learning goals lend themselves to collaboration. They also strengthening problem solving and critical thinking skills.
Here’s another example at a larger organizational scale.
- Company goal increase revenue by 20%
- 500 people in the company
- You're in a service area
- Your team focuses on reducing complaints & defines the following Learning Goals:
- Identify the top 2 most common customer complaints by x date.
- Research 2 solutions for each of the complaints that would aid in the resolution of these complaints by x date.
- Determine the best way to train the team on the new process, practices by x date.
- Assess progress towards improving complaint resolution by x date.
This experience engages your team in problem solving, teamwork, and supports the larger organizational goals. So the big question is, what goal could you engage your team in tomorrow that would have the biggest positive impact on improving performance?
Learn to apply this to your team, including goal setting, talent development and feedback! Check out The Confident Leader.
I would argue nothing.
Lately I’ve been surrounded by mental health challenges, in myself, in those I love, work with, in classes, coaching and well, in society.
And when I say mental health, I mean people feeling mentally healthy. Are we cognizant of the current state of our minds and how that is affecting our lives? How clear and constructive is it working for us? And are we paying attention to it?
Growing up, strength was valued in our family. We were taught to tough things out, persevere, keep going, be strong. Don’t ask for help. Figure it out. And this is not a commentary on parenting at all, my parents taught us strong values and work ethic—and for that, I am thankful.
On a leadership assessment I did, I scored in the 96+ percentile on Enduring—described as persistence, determination and tenacity. Until recently in my life—I thought of this as a virtue. But, it begs the question, when does a strength become a weakness?
Because what happens when we need a rest. We need a break. Before we break. Then what?
Here's how it works: First we notice we’re getting stressed. We read the signs, we know our emotions. We feel the emotions, realize the thoughts causing the stress or anxiety. Then before it gets worse, we reach out for help. We take care of ourselves. We make good choices. We pay attention to the emotions. We give ourselves grace and compassion. We take the necessary space to process it all. We rest and regroup. Then we determine how to prevent those challenges, how to learn from them. (Insert chuckles here.)
It all makes logical sense, what we're supposed to do. Then, why don’t we do these things for ourselves?
Maybe because we aren’t even aware that it’s happening. Or perhaps when we do we just figure we’ll keep pushing forward. Momentum. We’re already on a path, keep trudging along.
Or we’re influenced by the expectations of those around us. How we’ll be judged.
I think about our duty as leaders to be vulnerable, and to be transparent, and to be good role models. And what are we role models for if not good mental health? Isn’t that just as important, if not more than modeling good work practices or processes or facilitating meetings effectively?
How are we coping with the stress of not just work challenges but life challenges? Are we pushing through when we should be taking a nap? Are we persevering when we should be breathing? Are you caring for your brain and what goes on in it? Are you speaking to yourself with the compassion you give to others?
Here are things we hear all the time, I want to hear it differently this time and see what might apply to you right this very minute.
- Know the signs of your stress and anxiety. Be conscious of when your mental health is being compromised. Check in regularly with your mind and thoughts.
- Stop. Pause and reflect. Take a breath. Bring the issues to the surface. Identify the problem. Write it down. Identify what you are feeling and why.
- Talk to someone. It is courageous to seek help, it’s not a weakness.
- Find some perspective. Try something new:
a. Review your lifestyle & habits.
b. Get away. Plan a vacation. Need adrenaline, get some. Need peace, find some.
c. Mediate, journal, walk, allow your head to clear—then find clarity, problem solve, make decisions, chose a course of action.
d. Find humor.
- Take the time, energy and money to get on track mentally.
You owe this to yourself, you owe this to those around you.
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Psychology Today describes imposter syndrome as people who believe that they are undeserving of their achievements and the high esteem in which they are, in fact, generally held. They feel that they aren’t as competent or intelligent as others might think—and that soon enough, people will discover the truth about them.
Why do we doubt ourselves our capabilities our achievements, and worry that others will find out, that we’re really not as competent as we’re perceived? That the image we’ve created is just that, an image? Born of luck, not skill.
Psych Today also claims about 30% of high achievers may suffer from imposter syndrome; around 70% of adults may experience it at least once in their lifetime.
Have you? Well, consider the following questions Clance Imposter Phenomenon Scale and see if any resonate with you:
- I can give the impression that I’m more competent than I really am.
- When people praise me for something I’ve accomplished, I’m afraid I won’t be able to live up to their expectations of me in the future.
- I’m afraid people important to me may find out that I’m not as capable as they think I am.
Do any of those statements ring true for you? Or have they at some point in your career?
And in realizing that so many of us experience this either sometimes or frequently, the important question is, what do we do about it? Overcome it?
I would of course say, work with a coach, because I’m like a coach. And a coach helps you see yourself as you are. To create alignment in your authentic self. And one of my true joys in to work with people to identify their strengths, find evidence for their accomplishments, and to reflect on them. Honor them. And to continue to seek out and align to this more authentic mindset.
And change to this mindset we must. Because if we don’t we can stifle ourselves. We may not pursue an opportunity that could be the role of a lifetime. We may not accept that next new challenge, thinking that based on our quest for perfection, we may fail.
Additionally, these limiting thoughts just keep taking up precious headspace. Space in our minds that can be used in a more constructive and creative manner.
To counter these feelings of inadequacy, we also may engage in practices that don’t serve us. We work harder, more, striving for perfection, holding ourselves to an unattainable standard and at a level that doesn’t serve our health and wellbeing. And one that doesn’t serve as a role model for others.
But what if we were more transparent and vulnerable in the areas that challenge us, rather than hiding our authentic selves—because we fear we’ll be discovered as a fraud. Because again if you don’t believe in yourself, how much will you risk?
To overcome this phenomenon:
- Listen to what your brain is offering you about yourself, and tell it to shut up
- Challenge your mindset, adopt a growth mindset (See podcast 4 Growth )
- Network with others, be vulnerable and transparent about challenges
- Accept praise, compliments and recognition with genuine sincerity and gratitude
- Be deliberate about reflecting on your successes and accomplishments, noting the efforts and strategies you used to achieve them; highlight your skill not luck
Most of all, believe in you as much as others believe in you. Well, let’s actually believe in ourselves even more.
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One of the biggest challenges I hear from leaders is how to deal with change resistance. But what if rather than want to avoid it, we embrace it. We understand it and actively work through it, knowing that it is expected. We welcome it. We feel it and process it. Because we are all human.
And because we are human, our brains are wired to protect us. Our brain constantly scans for danger and finds it. Emotionally, physically, and practically speaking we see change as a threat, we protect ourselves. This happens largely in our unconscious minds, which makes it challenging to change. We need to bring the thoughts and emotions to the surface, understand to change.
Resistance 5 Reasons:
- Fear: Of the unknown, the uncertainty of the impact on us, the fear of leaving the cave. (According to the motivational triad, we are wired to prioritize the following: Avoid pain. Maintain efficiency. Seek pleasure.).
- Complacency: It is easier to stay put, there is no urgency to change (i.e., maintain efficiency).
- Stress and/or Overwhelm: When there is too much anxiety in our brains, we can’t think through the ramifications of the change; we can get sick/shut down; when we’re overwhelmed it’s easy to stuck in inaction; decision making seems difficult and moving forward is a challenge. See Podcast 23 Indecision
- Rewards/Status: We are confident and competent in what we are doing, we’ve achieved status in being effective at our roles, tasks and/or responsibilities, we don’t want to jeopardize our credibility or status (i.e., seek pleasure) to move toward the future.
- Independence: We don’t want to be told what to do, it triggers a threat to our sense of freedom, being forced to comply.
5 Strategies for moving through resistance:
- Why: Tell them why; be consistent in the messages; be clear and urgent.
- Drivers: Be informed about what is driving change in your industry and organization so you can be prepared, knowledgeable and ready to communicate to your team. Change is prompted in two ways: External and Internal.
- Engagement: Engage people in the process of change; be collaborative. Work through emotions upfront and directly or experience them later.
- Learning and growth: Create an expectation that learning & growth is vital and expected. If you create an environment in which others have the opportunity and expectation to evolve, change because less frightening.
- Consequences: At the end of the day, we are responsible for guiding ourselves and others through the process. Not everyone will make it through the change. Understand and accept it is their choice, and with that choice comes consequences. See Podcast 26 The Manual
Bring the emotions to the surface. Be transparent. Allow vulnerability. You need to help others (and yourself) share emotions and understand them to process them fully and effectively.
“The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The leader adjusts the sails.” – John Maxwell So rather than complaining about resistance, or expecting it to go away, let’s adjust our strategies. Welcome it. Know that its just our brain operating effectively. It's our job to give it peace.
Find a clear path for your employees chart your course to a successful future!
Manuals assist us in understanding processes, practices, and putting together furniture. They help us in knowing what to do and in what order. They ensure quality results. They give us knowledge, understanding and a sense of order.
Until they don’t. And that is when we’re talking about human behavior. Then, they can really suck. Because human beings do what they want and don’t do what they don’t want. And that is okay. Except when it isn’t. To us.
This is the complexity of relationships & leadership.
I’ve studied human behavior for nearly 40 years, and know this to be true. People do what they are motivated to do, not what we want them to do. Our job as leaders is to create a motivating environment in which expectations are understood, aligned and achieved. But here is where manuals cause us angst. When they don't work.
There is a difference between your goals and expectations, what you need people to do to perform at work, and the general manual we each have for how humans beings should behave.
Examples:
- A peer leading ineffective meetings
- My boss not delegating uniformly
- My team is not cohesive
Themes:
- My peer should run meetings effectively
- My boss should be developing the whole team/deal with non-performance
- My employees should be operating as a team
The commonality? Should.
Shoulds are judgments. A belief that others should be acting a certain way, doing things a particular manner. Operating the way we would. Our “shoulds.”
The manual. Anais Nin: “We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.” And we expect them to behave like we do.
Which causes us stress, annoyance and frustration. Because people can do what they want, how they want with careless disregard to our manuals.
We can provide our own point of view. We can give the peer feedback on running meetings more effectively, or opt out of the meeting. We can have a difficult, honest conversation with our boss--share our perspectives. Or we can find another job. We can set new expectations for our team to interact more cohesively, to encourage a foundation of respect.
But in each of these cases, we cannot change the individuals’ behavior. It is their choice to make. Just as we have our own choices to make when things don’t change, or people don’t change their behaviors.
Which is much clearer when it comes to employees. Because in that case, we can certainly identify expectations which need to be met. We have the right and responsibility to ask others for what we need to achieve goals and results. And if they don’t achieve them, of course, there are consequences and ramifications. It is still their choice. It’s their decision.
What causes us pain is when we think that they should choose the “right” answer, which is our answer. Rather than their answer. Which may have an unpleasant consequence to them. And to us. Because we want them to simply follow The Manual. The ones written for Good Employees.
But our peers? Boss? Families? Friends? Not so much. They get to choose. And we can choose to remain chronically irritated and annoyed by those choices, or we can accept them. This means accepting others for who they are. Not who we want them to be.
That is the final chapter: How to live with others by accepting that they control their choices, their behaviors, their decisions, their lives. They have a manual which may be wildly different from ours. And that is okay.
Except when we tell ourselves that it isn’t.
I think about top performers not just as those who are technically competent, or who have a lot of subject matter knowledge….rather about those that are behaviorally outstanding and show emotional adulthood in ways that differentiate them from others. I may rely on these people more on my team because of their willingness and “attitude” versus their technical competence. And correspondingly may take advantage of these characteristics to get things done.
Define top performance. What does it mean to you, to your team and to your organization? Is it defined or not? Answer that question first, and then consider how you communicate, develop and delegate to those around you. Who are your “go to” people and why? Who you consider a top performer does make a difference.
Then let’s consider burn out. Burned out means in a state of physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress. I know that sounds dramatic, but we’ve probably all felt the feelings associated with figurative, if not literal collapse. I’ve experienced it myself and seen it around me. I probably created it as well, not deliberately, but through my own behaviors and actions (or inaction). Here are 5 ways we create burn out. See if any of them resonate with you.
How to Create Burn Out
- Not recognizing signs of individual stress; then not helping the individual to help themselves build stronger coping mechanisms.
- Not recognizing that your job is to foster and strengthen employee resilience (capacity and ability to change).
- Delegating to the same individuals over and over again.
- Not developing a strong talent pipeline.
- Radio silence on praise reinforcement thanks gratitude kudos etc.
Take Action:
· Learn the individual signs; take action; look at yourself first. What actions are you taking that are negatively affecting performance? What are you doing to contribute to burn out, and what can you do to mitigate it?
· Help those that need it. And I don’t mean to help them by merely prioritizing the workload. I mean explore where they may need to cultivate and/or adjust behaviors, improve coping mechanisms, and foster healthy habits. Dig below the surface to understand the contributors (other than you!) to the overwork and stress.
· Be planful about creating resilience in your team. Check out PositivePsychology.com for great ideas: 27 Resilience Activities and Worksheets for Students and Adults (+PDFs) (positivepsychology.com)
· Develop a talent plan. Think about your team in terms of a bell curve. Know where individuals land and what needs to happen to advance their position on the curve. Continuously move the curve!
In today’s competitive environment, we must retain top talent. That means being hyper aware of the environment we create, the practices we engage in, and how we deal with stress and overwhelm. (NOTE: You can also check out Episode Podcast 02 Exploring Locus of Control for stress strategies.)
And finally, express appreciation for all that your team does and attempts to do. Sincere praise and gratitude goes a long way to balance the ongoing demands placed on all of us. You can be the difference between someone’s experience of gratitude or overwhelm.
Be the best coach you can be! The Confident Leader course will show you how!
What are thoughts and emotions that cost us time and those that make us time? And what an interesting question to consider. When you step back to think how you are using your time, it can be interesting to note the patterns particularly when we’re overwhelmed.
For example, consider that 50% of our brain time is spent toggling from thoughts about the past to thoughts about the future. We’re not even in the present moment. Also, thoughts and emotions like: indecision, confusion, worrying, regretting, and the actual thought of being overwhelmed. All of these things cost us time in the present. None of them create the space we need in our brain to get things done.
And yet that is what most of us want. To feel focused, competent, confident, prepared. Whether that’s at work or life.
Let’s dig into overwhelm for a moment, because this is something I see and hear a lot in leaders I work with. And honestly me too.
Overwhelmed is a thought and an emotion. It is one we choose. We think there is too much on our plates, too many conflicting priorities. Too many tasks or deliverables. This also generates the emotion of overwhelmed, feeling swamped, inundated.
The effect of this on others is important….because as leaders are emotions are contagious. In the old days, I considered myself “very busy” and that was a good thing. It meant I was going important things, it meant I was needed.
And I indulged in overwhelm a lot. You know the story, inside feeling overburdened, poor me, sometimes quietly resenting it all.
How ironic to step back and reflect on my choices. As leaders, we are role models. What example are we setting with overwhelm? I did this a lot. I ran from meeting to meeting. I thought they were all important. They were not. I thought I needed to participate and contribute to everything. I did not. I spent nights and weekends in the office. Others did not.
When we don’t have clarity on our purpose or priorities it is easy to fall into this destructive thinking trap. These thoughts derail us from focus and action. Confidence and composure.
Managing overwhelm: Seeds to plant in your brain.
- Recognize this is a choice. It is our brain telling us we have “too” much. There are “too” many demands. Time is scarce. We can’t do it all. This leaves us helpless and unempowered.
2. Don’t believe your brain. You have power and a choice. Anything you do is a choice, and consider those choices wisely. What is the best use of your time? What are you in the best position to do, and how can you delegate to others? What can you say no to? Take back your power.
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Make a list and really prioritize. Use constraint. Don’t believe that you “have to do it all.” Choose wisely and thoughtfully.
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Focus, plan and take action. The antidote to overwhelm is focused action. Forward movement, not indulging in thoughts and emotions that derail us. Make a commitment to yourself and honor it.
Choose to let go of overwhelm. Because we all have enough time. Enough. Time. The same time in a day. The way we choose to think about it, utilize it, talk about it, affects our results. We have enough time if we are clear on our priorities, if we know the results we want to achieve. If we are mindful of how we are using our time and the quality of the experience. Can you let go of overwhelm? You have a choice.
Replace overwhelm with strategies and skills to keep you focused: The Confident Leader, we're here for you!
What happens when we can’t decide? Or rather when we don’t. Sometimes our brain derails us, it tells us we’re “stuck”. But this is sadly, a lie. We are choosing inaction. And we must determine why. That’s part of self-awareness, emotional adulthood.
Not making a decision is making a decision, though not deliberately, and so much of the time that has a negative impact on our stress and life. Because the lack of closure affects our mind, that information and choices rattling around like a pinball, the thoughts keep pressing on our brains, and we think that if we just think MORE, we’ll get the right answer. Is there a right answer?
Because when you make a decision you are making it on the information you have right now. So, decide and have your own back. Move forward. The other option is to endlessly wonder if you will make the right one or did make the right one. And what does that even mean? When is a decision absolutely correct or made with 100% certainty? If you think about it for a few days, a week, or a year, how substantially will the outcome change?
Are you not deciding because you don’t want the possible negative consequences of your decision or because you truly don’t have all the information to make a decision. And again, I am not saying the right one, because the right one is only right in the context of hindsight.
Write down 3 things you “cannot” decide. What would happen if you had to decide on those three things today? What would you decide? That is your gut. That is your brain knowing the answer but also telling you not to take action. Why? Because there are always consequences to our decisions. And we may not like those consequences.
In my career, I’ve had to exit some people from organizations. I’ve had to put people on performance plans. It was never fun or pleasant. When I had to decide to do it, there was stress and consternation. But it was my job to manage performance and achieve results. And if I didn’t make those choices, I was not upholding my job as a manager or leader. I was letting the organization down, the team down and that individual down. Because they were not succeeding in their role. I could procrastinate, but only with negative consequences (my stress level didn’t decrease due to lack of action, it merely magnified and prolonged it).
I remember a 4th of July celebration at a public park. There was a young man who I had exited from the company I was working for….and he and his wife and small daughter ended up sitting by my sister and me. After a time, the small girl came and stuck out her tongue at me. Then they moved seats. So, several years later, there was still resentment for my actions. My choices. My decisions. And though I felt pretty crappy in the moment, I knew I had done the right thing. For him and his family. Even though they didn’t like me for it. I couldn’t have altered his performance, only he could decide to do that. And he decided (whether he knew it or not) not to.
Leadership is challenging. And rewarding. It means being clear on the direction and helping people to follow your lead. Fraught with choices that are yours to make. Decisions that are also yours to make. Or not. And that's noticeable to others.
And that’s the way we create our legacy. Though action, forward progress and achieving results. Or stagnate and stay stuck.
What will you decide today?
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Have you been exposed to Situational Leadership? And I don’t just mean, yes I react differently in different situations. Do you know the theory by Ken Blanchard and Paul Hershey? It’s a great one to explore. This is particularly true if you want to focus your leadership style to maximize your impact on your employees. Who doesn’t want that?
The theory and model comes in handy in a couple areas….one is over the lifetime of an employee (which is sometimes less common in organizations today). And one is when someone is taking on a new role. Here are the essentials.
The framework includes 2 Elements to diagnose:
· Competence: Skills and knowledge
· Commitment: Confidence and motivation
This prompts the 4 Quadrants of individuals:
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Enthusiastic Beginner (S1): example, new employee
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Disillusioned Learner (S2): example, been on the job “awhile”
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Capable but Cautions Performer (S3): example, SME
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Reliant Achievers (S4): example, mentor, informal leader
And here are the 4 Leadership Styles to apply:
| Quad | Style | Means | Competence & Commitment
| S1 | Directing | Task focused. Provide clear goals, strategies and deadlines. | Low competence High commitment
| S2 | Coaching | Task and commitment focused. Influence and educate. | Low competence Low commitment
| S3 | Supporting | Participative focused. Engage in problem solving, decision making, continuous improvement. | High competence Variable commitment
| S4 | Delegating | Leadership focused. Provide challenge, growth, opportunity. | High competence High commitment
Applying Situational Leadership means understanding the goals for those around you. Are you leading them to a new level? Do you want them to take on a new project or responsibility?
Then diagnose their competence and commitment, to apply the most effective leadership style.
Will others notice that you are leading differently? Probably, and this doesn’t have to be a secret mission. You can be deliberate about your thinking, actions and approach.
Consider this quote: “There is nothing so unequal as the equal treatment of unequals.” Artistole
From theory to practical reality--The Confident Leader course will show you the way! I'll be your guide to more impact, better engagement, and focused results. Uplevel your leadership today.
It's hard to be mindful when we're overwhelmed with info. Its been documented that the human body sends about 11 million bits of information to our brains for processing. Per second. Let that sink in. With all that is currently around you right now in this moment, it seems impossible. Well contrast that with how much our conscious mind is able to process. That’s about 50 bits per second.
Which translates to .00000455% bits of information we’re offered. Is it really so shocking that we have a hard time focusing?
Mindfulness is not only a conscious choice, but also must be a deliberate and focused practice. We need to train our brain to pay attention to what is most important. Rather than our brain deciding for us. Because it does.
So, consider the costs of a lack of attention at work:
- Focusing on the right priorities at the right time
- Giving full attention to others when they need us for problem solving, decision making, collaboration, empathy or simply a human connection
- Completing tasks in a realistic timeframe
- Meeting overload, focusing on the past ones or future ones—not being present in the current one to contribute and collaborate
- Being unaware of your present emotions, not recognizing the myriad of emotions that make up our daily experiences (see podcasts 19 and 20).
- Making choices and taking action based on urgency rather than thoughtful decision making criteria
- Being reactive rather than proactive
Knowing we are collectively facing a significant challenge in staying mindful, here are 3 strategies to get you started.
3 Strategies
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Decide when to be mindful. Let’s face it, being mindful all the time seems a bit daunting. Focus on the situations when mindfulness is most essential. At the beginning of the day look at your tasks (i.e., your goals and priorities), decide in advance when you will be fully engaged in the present moment. Consider, plan and make a conscious choice.
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Engage fully with the person or task. Research suggests we spend approximately 50% of our time thinking backwards or forward. Not fully aware of the present moment. Even in listening to this podcast, are you multi-tasking or has your mind wandered at all? Of course. We can ruminate on past situations, actions, conversations, decisions, people, for a variety of reasons. Maybe it’s about regret, or understanding, or to use the past to consider the future. But regardless of the reason we are not in the moment.
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Single task. And if you are not yet overwhelmed by compelling data: the average person checks their phone 150 times per day average time spent before interruption 1 minute and 15 seconds; the time it takes our brain to resume the task after being interrupted. A staggering 25 minutes. (From: Fuzebox.com) Its said that only 2% of the population can actually multi-task effectively. The vast majority believe we are in that incredibly small percentage. Be single focused. I promise you; you’ll see the results.
The case for more mindfulness is not difficult to make. The data is grave and the impact on our lives is obvious if we look. To be intentional in life and leadership, we have to learn to pay attention. Take back our presence. It’s a gift to ourselves, everyone we work and live with, and our lives.
Give yourself the present of leadership development now!
Last episode I talked about the effect EQ has on our careers and lives. I promised to dive into self-awareness and self-management. Because for many, self-awareness doesn’t come easily. We’re not taught it. And this affects us as adults and most definitely affects us professionally.
Not understanding ourselves can cause us to act in ways that erodes trust, impact and credibility. E.g., Let’s say two peers are co-leading a project team, Terry and Nicole. Each wanted to lead the project independently. So, there’s some tension in the relationship and frustration about how each of them leads. Terry is concerned about Nicole’s lack of speed and understanding of project scope. Nicole is irritated about Terry’s constant interruptions and feels dismissed. They're not having fun. While they remain professional, of course the team picks up on the bad juju.
Too stressed, neither takes the time to understand their own emotions--what they're feeling & why. Instead they ignore them, pretend they’re okay or compartmentalize them until they can go home and 1. Exercise their demons, 2. Eat their feelings, or 3. Complain about them to others who have no idea of the real dynamics of the situation.
This example highlights professional vulnerability and impact that occurs from a lack of self-awareness, and the lack of constructive self-management. Because to build trust in the relationship and create a positive team environment, Nicole and Terry would need to talk. To one another. And share their feelings (without attacking or blaming). And show empathy for the other.
Maybe in your world, this occurs. People show up with clarity about emotions, manage them in a healthy constructive manner, choose to empathize, and have transparent, authentic conversations where intentions are good, open mindedness is demonstrated and resolution is ensured. If so, I want to be on your team.
There are costs to not strengthening this area...anxiety, stress, ruminating, poor dynamics that impact the speed and quality of our work. And the quality, integrity and trust in our relationships.
So, here are 3 practices for the next week:
- Get in touch with your emotions. Travis Bradberry’s research suggests we have about 400 emotional experiences a day. Pay attention to yours. Note the physical sensations in your body. Notice them. Label them. Keep a log.
- Understand the thoughts that are causing the emotions. Emotions don’t just happen. They are caused by our thoughts. If Nicole thinks Terry is disrespectful and Terry doesn’t think Nicole has a clue—these thoughts cause the emotions. Be the watcher of your thoughts. 3. Consider how you want to manage your emotions. As you examine the thoughts, can you reframe them? Are they true? Exaggerated? Can you see the other person’s point of view? Can you share feelings directly? Can you choose to strengthen the relationship rather than burying your thoughts and feelings? Choose your thoughts and your emotions.
And, choose to act. Because EQ is a choice. It is a set of behaviors that have a profound impact on our lives. If I could do one thing differently, it would be to strengthen my EQ in my youth. Because to live with this insight today, is truly life altering. I no longer bury my emotions. I own them. Understand them. Honor them.
You can too.
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Lately I’ve been training so much on emotional intelligence, or EQ. Some of it by design, some of it is more organic in conversations that turn to the affect of emotions. And often the question becomes, what “to do” about them. Or I’ve also heard leaders say, “I wear my heart on my sleeve.” Saying this with the objective of trying to change that, a bad thing, something to be corrected.
EQ is understanding your emotions and those of others around you and using this insight to guide your behaviors and actions. There are 4 domains: Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness & Relationship Management. EQ has been studied for decades, Daniel Goleman and Travis Bradberry have brought it to the mainstream. Both have studied the impact of EQ at work. It is a differentiator and is correlated to high performance.
I remember working with an executive, let’s call him Pete, who measured as a 3 on a scale assessing personal warmth. I tried exceptionally hard to engage him as we developed his leadership plan. I didn’t want this to be transactional for him--I wanted it to be transformational. Not shockingly, it wasn't. We just focused on the content of the plan. And after awhile, I became more detached in the relationship with him, anxious to get the plan done. I could feel the shift occurring, because emotions are contagious.
So, in thinking of Pete, or working with a leader who wore their heart on their sleeve? I’d say, yes please give me your heart and your sleeve. At least I’d have a gauge of what’s going on in that person’s head or heart. It’s authentic. It’s data and insight that many people try hard to compartmentalize. To not let it show.
For fear of what? So often it starts with our beliefs. Consider these beliefs about emotions and see which if any resonate with you.
- If I lose control of my emotions in front of others, they will think less of me.
- I should be able to control my emotions; or cope with difficulties on my own.
- If I tell others how I feel, they will use it against me or they'll think I'm weak.
- Other people don’t feel this way. There must be something wrong with me.
- I’m stupid for feeling this way. I should just suck it up!
According to Positive Psychology, these are false beliefs. They affect the way we show up at work, how much we engage, how transparent and authentic we are. They result in controlling emotions rather than expressing them constructively. There is danger in thinking that emotions are to be controlled, rather than to be felt and understood.
I’m not advocating to just let emotional reactions fly free with no regard for the impact on others. Rather being thoughtful about how and when to express and share your emotions with others. It takes self-awareness, and self-management to choose when and how to communicate emotional experiences in a way that build trust, maintains credibility, and deepens relationships.
So, in trying to strengthen our EQ, it’s important to examine our thoughts and beliefs. Consider:
- How would you describe your relationship with your emotions?
- What are your beliefs about expressing emotions in the workplace and where did those beliefs come from?
- What are the consequences to you of continuing to hold on to any false beliefs you may have?
- How might exploring EQ improve your leadership effectiveness?
- If it’s true that your emotions are contagious, what are you spreading?
Want to increase your leadership confidence?
Successful leadership requires influence. Without it, how will you make your mark on your organization and your team? Influencing is about engaging others in your vision—helping to build a coalition of support for your ideas and goals. It’s about understanding how to embrace your point of view and your power to make a difference in your team and business. It requires confidence, courage, and a fair amount of finesse.
We tend to remember those who made a positive impact on us, who influenced in a helpful or inspiring way. But influence can be exerted as a form of pressure as well. To be clear let's focus on words (from dictionary.com).
· Pressure: To force (someone) toward a particular end.
· Manipulate: To manage or influence skillfully, especially in an unfair manner.
· Influence: The capacity or power of person or things to be a compelling force on or produce effects on the action, behaviors, opinions, etc. of others.
3 Ways to Appeal (Center for Creative Leadership)
- Logical, 2. Emotional, 3. Collaborative
Logical: Using the Head Appealing to logic means tapping into the rational and intellectual elements of your position. This strategy requires sound thinking, and a structured approach.
Tips:
- Take time to gather the appropriate facts and data
- Prepare a well thought out plan
- Point out the advantages of your ideas, how risks will be managed
- Systematically compare other options
- Be able to articulate the outcome if your approach is not adopted
- Weave in information from other authoritative sources
Emotional: Using the HeartUsing the heart means you are promoting feelings to craft your message towards a common vision or goals, appealing to another persons needs and wants as well as your own.
Tips:
- Understand that humans are motivated by pleasure and pain
- Tailor to the needs and values of others
- Listen to show caring and concern
- Paint a picture of your solution, engage the senses
- Tell stories
- Inspires and builds pride
- Appeal to common values
Collaborative: Using CooperationCollaboration relies on the process of working together to accomplish a mutually important goal. This approach is founded on the premise that we value being asked for our opinions, to have a stake in our future.
Tips:
- Start by articulating goals and expected outcomes
- Explain what is negotiable, what is not
- Share ideas in an engaging and interesting manner
- Get people’s concerns and values out in the open
- Engage others who can influence on your behalf
- Be willing to adapt your ideas
- Use liberal (sincere) praise and reinforcement
Summary
Long-Term
- Strengthen connections
- Be credible, do your homework, know your subject and audience
- Maintain high integrity
- People tend to be influenced most by those that are “likeable”
- Demonstrate warmth and likeability
Short-Term
- Use a planful approach: your goal & why it's important
- Uncover your challenges and how you will mitigate them
- Know your stakeholders: their point of view, the most effective strategy to appeal to them
- Use excellent communication skills
- Know how to receive a “no”
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Are you familiar with the Johari Window? This concept was developed in 1955 by American psychologists Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham. At the core, this tool is about self discovery. This is about your authentic self, and also others’ perceptions of you.
There are 4 panes in this window, each representing a component of you. One dimension is the audience--you versus others. The other dimension is the level of awareness, we’re either aware or unaware.
Put these two dimensions together and we have:
The Arena, or open self is the knowledge you have of your skills, abilities and feelings that others are also aware of.
The Facade, or hidden self, are things that we know about ourselves, and we don’t share them. Either because we prefer them to be private, or we might feel vulnerable sharing them.
The Blindspot is of course things that others know about us, but we are unaware (like when my team used to call me “the hammer” –early in my career; this was not a term of affection, fyi). Blindspots are there for all of us.
And then there is the Unknown window. This is the pane that holds all the skills and talents that we’ve yet to discover–they are waiting patiently for the opportunity to emerge. Because we haven’t examined this part of ourselves yet, it remains out of view.
Here are some thoughts to consider around each element of the Johari Window:
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The Arena: Your goal should be to have this be the largest pane—the one in which you are authentically and transparently leading others. I see this as authenticity. We know our talents, we use them. Others know them and seek them out. I feel like we create our unique brand in this area of the window.
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The Façade: This is an interesting area. Consider what you may be hiding from others and why. Are you withholding information out of fear? Lack of confidence? Or not wanting to be vulnerable with others? I think this is worth examination and a conscious decision. There is a lot of value in self-disclosure, being transparent and trusting with others. Make a decision on purpose with this area of the window.
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The Blindspot: I think there’s a difference between great and exceptional leaders, and one of the key differentiators I see is the growth mindset. This quest for continuous learning, for increasing self-awareness and being able to not only withstand the discomfort of feedback, to seek it out is a huge asset. It means potentially having a bigger impact on the world and on people because we’re not afraid to look at ourselves honestly. Show me a leader who doesn’t think they have blind spots and trust me, we’ll find one.
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The Hidden self: This pane is about challenging ourselves to grow in new ways. To push ourselves to discover new talents and abilities. Without risk and deliberate effort, how else will we continue to expand our capabilities and capacity, to truly evolve into the best version of ourselves? This is a fascinating pane to consider. It begs the question, what is your next challenge, what situation will give you an opportunity to learn more about who you are, and what you are capable of?
Use this tool for your own development or with your team. What do your windowpanes look like? It’s spring and time to open them up and let the fresh air in.
Download the Johari Window.
Learn more about yourself and your team: https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
Asking great questions is an art. Yet how often do we pause to consider our effectiveness in this small leadership skill? In the last few episodes I’ve focused on practices in which asking great questions is essential. When you consider collaboration, or empowering, delegation or coaching effectively, one of the most valuable communication skills you can demonstrate is asking questions.
Questions help us to:
- Gather information
- Get engagement and cooperation
- Persuade and influence
- Garner commitment
They connect us with others, create trust and meaningful bonds. Because we are deepening our insights into someone’s’ thoughts, their perspectives, their reality, their interpretation of the world, and even their emotions.
Powerful. How effective are you at asking great questions? The right question at the right time to the right person can be momentous in their subsequent thinking and actions.
Here are 4 elements of strategic questions, they:
1. Are thought provoking and framed in an open manner, i.e., what, how and tell me about. Caution: “Why” questions can evoke defensiveness and imply judgment, e.g., “Why was the report late?” or, “Why didn’t you stay late to finish the report?” Limit closed ended questions and avoid leading questions.
2. Inspire self-awareness and self-reflection: Effective questions should prompt others to pause. Let them. Increasing awareness & reflections are instrumental to growth and change. 3. Stretches the individual’s perspective: They help others to realize their impact on a situation, another person, or the bigger picture.
4. Can be hindsight or foresight oriented for growth discussions. Hindsight looks back at strengths, development areas, values, interests, etc. While foresight questions focus on looking at changes to the future of the industry or company, both internal and external.
Example: You want to ask an individual to think about their growth and development.
You could ask: "What are you most interested in doing?" or, "What do you really enjoy?"
The answers can potentially be all over the board, with the answers sometimes focused, sometimes not.
A more strategic question could be: "What changes do you see in our business in the next year and what are you most excited to learn?"
In phrasing the question in this manner, I set an expectation that #1 change is coming, #2 that there is an expectation of growth, and then #3 I capture their thoughts about growth. (And determine how aligned is their thinking with my thinking?)
The success of this strategy means you need to be a mindful listener. Is your mind cluttered and distracted as someone is talking to you, and sharing their point of view? Or are you fully engaged in the discussion. Understanding what is said, and also what is not being said directly.
Because how we continue to dive deeper into someone else’s perspectives, we have to remain committed to the experience. (See link in EP 13 on Listening Styles; when asking questions use therapeutic or active for best results.)
Consider your skills: How would you rate your effectiveness around asking strategic questions on a scale from 1-5 (1 low)? When will strategic questioning be most valuable to apply? When can you do more of it? How can you increase your focus on asking great questions?
Be the best coach you can be: https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
I went for an off-site planning meeting with one of my remote employees. With so much to discuss, I was excited. However, early on in the meeting her disposition was became uncharacteristically quiet. I grew progressively uncomfortable. What caused the shift?
I wanted to ask her to take on the leadership of an important, visible, highly political project (she was already part of the team). But now I was nervous about asking. Was the timing, right? What if she said no? I wondered just what was going on. But I was there, so I trudged forward in the discussion.
She was shocked at the request. She was SURE, so sure that I was going to take her OFF the project. She was even more sure that I was going to keep the ownership, the leadership, for myself. Thus, her strange demeanor. She was preparing herself for the worst. For a disagreement.
I am thankful that the misalignment of expectations resulted in a great conversation. It was a wonderful discussion of growth and her excitement over the change, challenge and the opportunity to contribute at a higher level. She was beyond thrilled.
As I drove home, I pondered her perspective. What had caused her to think that I would keep the project, or take her off of it? Was I really that “greedy” about these types of projects? Thinking that only I could do them, or feeling like I should? Feeling guilty for engaging others? Or wondering if they’d do as good of a job as me?
I do know at the time I worked night and day. Weekends. Tirelessly. I was building my career; my reputation and I had a strong work ethic anyway. I didn’t really consider delegation I suppose. Until then. I needed to change.
Because delegation is critical for two key reasons. One is talent development. Without new opportunities, stretch assignments, special projects—how will those around us really grow? And mastery is engaging, autonomy is motivating. We must provide it. Its our role and responsibility to do so.
And what of us as leaders? How can we continue to add value strategically if we don’t let go? Because I haven't heard anyone admit things are being taken off their plate!
But I know. The reasons we can’t delegate. We must be cognizant of our thinking and understand that most are excuses or fears designed as reasons.
To delegate strategically and effectively, consider the following:
1. Start with three responsibilities you could delegate. Not menial tasks, or things you don’t like to do, but areas that if you weren’t doing—you could use your time in more value-added areas.
2. Consider your resources. This doesn’t necessarily have to be direct reports. It could be peers (who want to grow), your boss, people outside your department (cross training).
3. Align responsibilities to resources. Consider current capabilities of those you might delegate to, but more importantly growth potential from the delegated responsibility.
4. Create buy-in and commitment. This means engaging in a dialogue about the responsibilities, the expectations, plans and boundaries.
Make a commitment. Heck, do it now. (Or wait til your back at your desk.) Four steps, 20 minutes. Download a free action plan Delegation-Action-Plan.pdf (intentionaleaders.com)
Be the best coach you know, learn how: https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
Recognizing that there are practices to empowering both ourselves and others is sometimes surprising. You mean there’s a strategy to it? Most managers say they want to empower others, but do we in practice? Do you give power?
It's important. In fact, Timothy R. Clark just published research that supports the critical nature of empowerment to fostering creativity and innovation in organizations in his 4 Stages of Psychological Safety.
If you want to empower others, start with you. Empowering ourselves is about controlling our own lives. Claiming our rights. It's important to consider our beliefs about our power. (SeePodcast Episode 11: Assertiveness.) How you feel about rights, yours and others affects how much you use empowerment as a strategy and practice. If you want to do more of it, focus on the environment you create.
5 practices to do create an empowering environment:
- Share Liberally: The more context (information, perspective) those around you have, the more effective they will be. It's easier to trust someone who has relevant, up to date and complete information. Clear communication is vital. Make a practice of establishing the platform and processes to share information with your team.
- Listen Constantly/Openly: Listening is an active, deliberate action. When empowering others, your role is to listen to what they say and don’t say. Get good at reading body language. By being an excellent listener—we create the opportunity to hear and truly consider new ideas, barriers, as well as the hopes and dreams of those around us. Often this communication is nuanced, it could be indirect. It might be someone who is not confident to tell you directly what they want or need. Your job is to figure that out…to create a dialogue. Only then can you truly empower, trust and set that individual up for success.
- Promote Active, Continuous Learning and Growth: Giving others power to make decisions, take action, and get good results rests on confidence and competence. As expectations continue to ramp up organizationally, we need continuous growth to meet new and challenging demands. Make active learning a part of your priorities, focus and expectations. Not an option.
- “Celebrate” Mistakes: Allow learning to occur when a mistake happens. And when someone makes a mistake, TELL THEM! Share your mistakes as well. This goes a long way to building trust.
- Praise Effort: Meaning, reinforce the behaviors you see that are “growth” oriented(we explored this in Podcast Episode 4). This practice is particularly important with those who are not as confident or experienced as others. Praise efforts versus outcomes.
Empowerment is a strategy and a practice. It gives you the time to focus on more strategic value added responsibilities. It give those you work with the opportunity for growth and development, for autonomy-which is a significant motivator and contributor to engagement. It builds trust. Empowerment doesn’t mean we achieve successful results 100% of the time. It means we achieve more knowledge, insight and power—in the experience. Are you strong enough to empower?Empower yourself to success with my 12 week course:https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
Most if not all the organizations I’ve ever worked with or for, want collaboration. It’s a no brainer. And then it gets hard. And frustrating. Seemingly endless. Collaboration, easy to desire, difficult to execute. Why?
We know that collaboration, can lead to creativity and innovation. And in today’s competitive environment, we all need that. But to do it right requires focus, skill and effective execution.
Collaborate is to create. And creation can get messy. We may have differing opinions on how and what to create. At what speed. And at what level of quality.
Collaboration requires an intentional focus. This speeds up the process of collaboration and enhances the results.
4 key skills that will enhance your results:
1. Apply assertive communication: Get others to focus on their needs, wants, values and concerns rather than their solutions.
When coming together to collaborate—most of us have a solution in mind. After all, we’ve probably thought about what the ideal option might be, and we want to be prepared for the discussion. Being attached to a solution, in advance of a discussion or exploration of a problem is a barrier to effective collaboration.
We must learn to let go of premature discussion of solutions, and consider:
- Needs: what is essential or very important
- Wants: a desire or wish
- Values: something important, principles or standards
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Concerns: anxiety; worries
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Ask thought provoking questions: This will help to uncover what others care about in the areas above. We have to be able to get into people’s heads, understand their thoughts, out loud. If you are leading a collaborative effort, great questions are your best friend.
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Listen fully and mindfully: The reality is listening mindfully, if tough. Here is a listening style exercise. See if you know the difference between listening styles, and what is most effective to collaboration. Because the results may surprise you.
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Use critical thinking: Critical thinking means we are focused on the quality of our thinking. We are not thinking more or harder or longer. We are stepping back to examine our thoughts. How influenced are we by the past, or social pressure, or our emotions? Are we focused on facts and evidence? Or are we biased?
Biases are an error in our thinking that affects our choices and judgments. They are unconscious, hidden from our view. They pervade our thinking. They influence our ability to collaborate effectively and lead collaboration. Find out more here for some examples (there are hundreds!).
Collaboration is vital to our success in organizations, and as leaders. This is such a great competency to learn and master. To be the one who brings groups together and to engage and create—is a differentiator from a leadership perspective.
Know that collaboration is a skill set and there is a practice to doing it well, and doing it right. Collaboration is messy and frustrating. Know that is part of the process. But in the end, totally worth it.
Want to improve your collaboration skills and strategies? Strengthen your leadership!
A common, recurring problem I hear from leaders is that they are too busy. And for so long, I completely agreed. Until I didn’t. Until I realized that being overwhelmed is an emotion, and a choice. Based on my thoughts. Sometimes I still experience this emotion. However, I do recognize it as something I’m choosing.
Time is fascinating it's just a mental construct. The framework of time (clocks & calendars) significantly impacts our waking moments, our lives. And that we don’t have enough time.
Of course, this is not true. Because we all have enough time. The way we choose to think about it, utilize it, talk about it, affects our results. We have enough time if we are clear on our priorities, if we know the results we want to achieve. If we are mindful of how we are using our time and the quality of the experience.
#1 The Time Mindset
Scenario 1: I wake and feel already behind because my to do list is lengthy, at work and at home. I chug coffee, gripe at the traffic and charge into work.....
Scenario 2: I wake, thankful that I put together my to do list yesterday afternoon. I put my coffee in a to go mug, and head to work....
The difference between Scenario 1 and 2 lives only in my mind. The power of my thoughts and how I see time, see myself in the context of a day. If I see time as a scarce commodity—fretting about precious minutes wasted, or resenting time with my team—I will be hurried, impatient. If I expect a “perfect day” free of challenges and problems, when they arise I will be surprised and frazzled. Irritated to change the schedule, resentful. My thoughts about time, create my emotions, which affect my actions….and ultimately generate my results.
Examine your thoughts. Do you know you have a choice to see time for what it is, a neutral circumstance? At the end of the day, are you confident knowing you used all your seconds, minutes and hours mindfully and purposefully?
#2 The Urgency Addiction
We don’t even realize how powerfully urgency affects our mindset and our choices. Stephen Covey examined this in his amazing 1994 book, First Things First.
His concept is about getting used to the adrenaline rush of handling crisis; getting dependent on it for our sense of energy and excitement. Do these questions resonate?
To overcome the urgency addition, we have to realize it exists. We have to be mindful of the traps that we or others set about priorities, or requests or deadlines. We have to realize that it compromises our ability to make choices that keep us effective and sane.
Actions to consider:
- Clarify your priorities: personal and professional.
- Expect things to take more time than you planned, to not go as planned, expect to be interrupted. It’s when we are unrealistic that we’re so consistently disappointed.
- Change your mindset to one of focus and awareness. Be mindful of how you are using your time, whether it’s aligned with your priorities.
- Make decisions and don’t beat yourself up for decisions in the past.
- Examine your relationship with urgency, know when something is urgent to you and to others, and when it is not. Engage in an urgency detox.
One day. 86,400 seconds. Do you have enough time? You have a choice.
Choose to emphasize your growth and development, I'm here for you:
https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
Have you ever dropped a hint that someone you worked with just didn’t get? Soft peddled feedback that wasn’t received? Or lashed out in frustration because you were just so irritated with someone’s behavior?
Yes, that moment. The moment when we have something in our mind, something we need or want or expect, but we don’t fully formulate the words to make it happen. To get understanding.
Assertiveness is bigger than communication. It’s about how we feel about our rights. As a human being, and as an employee. Or as a leader. It’s pretty easy to observe someone’s assertiveness through their body language, actions and communication.
This is about mindset and it’s about skill set, to communicate effectively, clearly and respectfully.
- Passive: a style of avoiding expressing opinions or feelings, not protecting their rights, and not identifying and meeting needs.
- Aggressive: a style in which individuals express their feelings and opinions and advocate for their needs in a way that violates the rights of others.
- Passive aggressive: a style in which individuals appear passive on the surface but are really acting out anger in a subtle, indirect, or behind-the-scenes way.
- Assertive: a style in which individuals clearly state opinions and feelings, firmly advocate for their rights and needs without violating the rights of others.
Our style might not be universal. For example, we may be more passive with those who have more power and authority, we may defer more. With our peers, we may be passive, or passive aggressive saying things “in jest” or maybe we’ve known someone for a long time and don’t filter our words (aggressive).
All of these options don’t lead to clarity, effective understanding, or trust. Why is being assertive so challenging? Author Richard Banks identified some typical obstacles:
- We don’t know what we want
- We're unsure of our emotions
- We may feel our needs don’t matter
- We want to be liked at all costs; worried about offending others
- We become flustered, not communicating effectively
- Or we have experienced excessive criticism in the past
- We're scared of saying the wrong thing
- We fear retaliation
- Or are afraid of what people will think
Which of those might be true for you, sometimes?
To strengthen assertiveness:
- Think about your rights (see download below).
- Assess your level of assertiveness, does it vary depending on the audience and situation? When and why? Consider how to apply assertiveness consistently.
- Understand your thoughts and feelings. Figure out what you want and need.
- Focus on aligning your body language to your message.
- Practice with boundaries, saying no and speaking from an “I” perspective.
The value of assertiveness is tremendous. By increasing our own confidence and self-resect, we also increase the effectiveness of our communication. We can assert ourselves without undermining or trampling on others. This leads us to more respectful relationships.
These benefits are true for us in our personal and professional relationships. And as a leader, it is critical to building trusting and long lasting connections with those we aspire to lead.
Assess Your Rights: http://intentionaleaders.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Rights-of-Assertiveness.pdf
Learn to assert yourself confidently every day: https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
This month in our Intentionaleaders membership, we're tacking political savvy. Here's a sneak peek...
Art Petty described 5 Unavoidable Facts of Organizational Life:
- Everywhere humans gather, a political environment emerges.
- In every political environment, some individuals develop more influence than others.
- Those who have the most influence decide what gets done and who does what.
- Influence doesn’t accrue accidentally—it takes deliberate effort to cultivate the right relationships.
- You don’t get to claim, “I don’t want to play those games.” (See #4: those games are all about relationship development.)
I think about it like this: Political savvy is the ability to understand situations, people and context to influence outcomes and achieve results while not ticking people off (or even better yet, they like, respect and trust you).
Here’s the good news. We can get better at exploring and navigating these dynamics. It can sound complicated, my goal is to simplify it.
Because so many years ago, this area tripped me up. At the heart of being politically savvy, it’s about getting positive results. Here are some ideas to accomplish this goal.
4 Foundations to Political Savvy
- Self-Awareness: We have so many things going on. Our brain helps us by processing much of our day automatically. Yay for our brain, boo for our self-awareness. It’s difficult to be savvy if you aren’t mindful of how you come across.
- Situational Awareness: Means being fully present in situations. Being aware of your surroundings, of dynamics and power bases, and what is really going on. Because any encounter we have is potentially ripe with insights and information, if we pay attention to it through that lens. And those that are political savvy, consistently do so.
- Networking: This is not about networking for networking sake, but knowing what you already have, and seeking to build and strengthen it.
- Organizational Culture/Dynamics: This is a huge area in itself. But we must understand cultural norms and practices that we need to be mindful of, to achieve our positive results. I think about it in the 4 Ps. Priorities, Players, Performance and Practices.
- Priorities: Is about understanding the most important targets for the organization, for you, and your team.
- Players: Goes beyond our discussion on your network to consider the people who have power to help or hinder your ability to accomplish your goals and results. Do you know know who they are?
- Performance: Is exploring the way productivity and performance is both viewed and acknowledged within the organization.
- Practices: Are the consistent methods or processes used to share information, drive priorities and address ongoing challenges.
Assess these areas, fill in the gaps.
Being political savvy means achieving results. It means putting in the time and care to be successful in your goals, setting your team up for success and adding value to the organization.
It does not typically happen randomly or spontaneously. It takes focus an action. Work and practice. Strengthening your savvy is like strengthening your muscles. Sometime there is pain. Sometimes you will sweat. Sometimes you need a protein bar.
But in the end, the practice will be worth it.
Want to assess your network? Download this worksheet: http://intentionaleaders.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Networking-Assessment.pdf
Leaders who have the ability to lead under pressure garner more respect and followership. This is not to imply that a display of emotions is not valuable—it absolutely is. This is the difference between responding appropriately with emotional reactions in a manner that builds trust and aligns with our intentions.
So, fill in the blank:
- It makes me so angry at work when others:
- If I could change one behavior about people I work with, it would be:
- If only people I work with would _____ I would be so much less stressed
- I get so frustrated at work when:
These can be our triggers.
Triggers
- Triggers consist of thoughts, feelings, and events that seem to “trigger” an automatic response from us.
- The word “trigger” is important here because the idea is that our reaction occurs automatically. It might seem as if the emotional reaction is completely involuntary.
- The truth is that this reaction, like everything else that we do, is a choice. Learning how to identify our personal emotional triggers is the first step to taking control over how we choose to respond.
By Laura K. Schenck, Ph.D., LPC
What I’ve also come realize is that are triggers are connected to our values. If I value honesty and integrity, I’ll probably get pretty upset if I believe someone is lying to me. If I value hard work and dependability, I’ll likely be ticked off at those I think aren’t putting in the time or effort required to do the work.
Here’s the process: 1. Trigger, 2. Automatic Thought, 3. Destructive Response
It’s important for you to be aware in advance of your triggers, so you can maintain self-composure. Our challenge then is to disrupt this process.
Changing our response to triggers is a challenge because the more consistent we react in a certain way, the stronger the neuropathway is in our brain. It's a superhighway to a potentially destructive response.
To disrupt triggers:
- Trigger: Effective self-management begins with self-awareness. Be proactive and recognize the people, issues and challenges that de-rail you.
- Feel the Emotion: Emotions are felt. Think about anger and how it shows up…like warmth, our heartbeat speeds up, muscles feel tight, shortness of breath, etc. We must get good at identifying when we are experiencing an emotion, in order to interrupt the pattern. Pay attention to your body.
- Identify the Thought Error: Our thoughts produce our emotions, identify the thought creating the negative emotion.
- Reframe: This is a critical piece of altering our reactions. We have to ask ourselves:
- What are the facts?
- Am I exaggerating?
- Is there another explanation for this situation?
- Respond Constructively: Choose your thought and emotion. Respond with composure.
Take action:
- Do the values and triggers inventories.
- Print the triggers worksheet and examine your patterns.
- To create awareness, do a daily reflection, look for patterns.
- Identify possible thought errors and possible ways to reframe negative thoughts.
Want more: https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
Last year in Madison as in other communities there was great social unrest. On a main street downtown, store fronts were boarded and then eventually literally covered in murals representing individual and collective values of a community. What a sight. Heartbreaking in some ways. Inspiring in others. There was pain and there was hope. Storefronts were a gallery of values.
But in everyday life, and in leading or managing others…our values aren’t as apparent.
Wouldn’t it be great if we were that transparent? For your boss who values integrity. Your employee who values empathy. Your peer who values teamwork. We could understand their foundation and so frequently their behaviors. You would probably think very carefully about navigating, these values if they were so apparent, and maybe even to honor them.
Because the culmination of all our values, our beliefs make us who we are. They give us a unique identify. Others form impressions of us based on them.
Our values are our principles, or standards of behavior, the judgements we make of what is important in life. They guide us, they inform our decision-making process, they create focus and they also can create anger—when they are violated.
When we live life in alignment of our values, we are happier, less stressed. More in balance. When we don’t we’ll experience a dissonance. Somethings not right. And sometimes we don’t know what that is.
Values guide us, but where do they come from? Sometimes it’s influenced heavily by our family, religion, relationships, work situations, or education. We're affected by our environment. And very frequently, we aren’t even aware of this process, we adopt values unconsciously.
Knowing how much they affect us, I am consistently weaving this discussion of values into leadership classes openly and transparently
Because it’s hard to lead with our values if we don’t know what they are.
Once I was facilitating a team session and I knew in advance there were several people not “getting along.” When we did the values assessment and they noted their top values on a sticky note, it was very obvious to see where some of the disconnects were.
It opened their eyes to some of those differences, but also how rich their relationship could be if they valued the diversity of beliefs. How could these values work in harmony? And how could they use them to purposefully strengthen the relationship? It was a moment of clarity and awareness. And a deepening of trust.
Planting Leadership Seeds:
- Assess your values:
- Values Inventory Free Resources
- Values in Action Assessment
- Prioritize them; navigate them with constraint, find those that are most important
- Keep them in the forefront
- Use for decision-making and goal setting
It’s important to remember, values are aspirational, they guide us. When we don’t live by them, we don’t have to beat ourselves up—we determine how we can do better moving forward.
Elvis said: “Values are like fingerprints. Nobody’s are the same, but you leave them all over everything you do.”
Let’s leave them on everything we do, and also talk about them transparently. Because then we have a chance to be like the stunning gallery on State Street in Madison. The honoring of similarities and our differences. That’s the imprint we leave on the world.
Lead with your values intentionally: https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
In leadership classes we talk a lot about leadership presence. Do you have presence or not, or even what does that mean to you? With this discussion, inevitably, the conversation turns to confidence and the relationship of confidence to leadership presence.
What is your relationship with your own confidence? How confident are you and why? What situations are you the most confident?
In presenting, or facilitating or leading, most people say they’re more confident because they know what they’re talking about…the more prepared and knowledgeable they are, the more confident.
But what is confidence? By definition, it is: a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.
But notice what is doesn’t say…it doesn’t say, confidence comes from being prepared, having a plan, or even knowing what I am talking about (i.e., expertise, or I’ve done it before—I know what to expect).
Yet typically, I hear people say that they have confidence because: #1 I've done it before, #2 I have a plan or #3 I am prepared.
And yes, plans create safety. Certainty creates safety. If we’re safe we’re okay. We’re okay if we go into a situation and look and act professional. Leaderful. Competent.
We believe that the past or that knowledge and preparation will bring us confidence.
But is that really true?
Who was prepared for the 2020 global pandemic? I would say not many. But how many leaders and managers continued to project confidence regardless of the uncertainty or unexpectedness of COVID? So many.
They didn’t have experience in navigating their company or their teams through such a challenge, but so many people showed up confident anyway. Because of their belief in themselves to move forward, to figure it out, the courage to show up and try something new. To make decisions, even if they weren’t the "right ones."
They left their insecurities behind, or they recognized them—and took action anyway. Because insecurity is uncertainty or anxiety about oneself. Maybe it’s better to be uncertain about the situation, but not about ourselves and our ability to handle it. Because even if we don’t make the right choices, we learn, we gain confidence. Through action. And courage.
So, what if confidence was based on our mindset, not our skillset.
In addition to our experiences, we carry around a great deal that can give us confidence in pretty much any situation.
What about your overall abilities? Are you a good problem solver? Are you good at trouble-shooting? What are your strengths? Are you a good relator? What are the qualities that make you successful? Determination?
How can you show up and bring those attributes, those qualities to any situation in order to generate confidence? To bring your presence to a situation. Regardless of your preparation.
And if we can shift our mindset, how to can we strengthen our confidence? Here are my 3 seeds for deliberate leadership:
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Courage: to try, to fail, to grow, to risk…be afraid and do it anyway
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Conviction: in yourself, your value, your values, your beliefs, your truth
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Composure: be mindful, present, aware, choose your thoughts, your emotions, your reactions
What do you need the confidence to do right now? If you could take a courageous action what would it be?
If you believed in yourself, everyday, how would you show up?
Because that is the secret to your leadership presence. Want to know how every day? https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
The definition of a manager that I’ve used in business classes is that a manager is responsible for 4 primary functions: to plan, organize, lead and control in an efficient and effective manner.
So, if you do those functions either with people or projects, then you are a manager. And here are some amazing statistics about how people feel about this role:
- 10% of managers say they're prepared, trained and qualified to lead
- 48% of first-time managers fail
- 68% confess they really don't like being managers
Fundamentals of Management, Robbins, DeCenzo & Coulter, 2015
But what makes one a leader? This is complex area. There have been endless theories researched, developed and communicated over time. But it’s also confusing because there are 2,870,000,000 (billion 870 million) search results on Google today when you search leadership.
Where do we start? I think of leaders as those who generate followers. That can be followers due to the role, like I have direct reports. Or those that we follow out of reference, vision, purpose, charisma, expertise, or that special something that draws us to others, that we simply want to go where they go. We know it will be an experience.
So, you can lead without managing but it’s important to lead if you are a manager. And some are better than others.
Because most people are promoted based on their expertise or their tenure, not by their capability or skill set to lead. (Back to those statistics.) And if we don’t know how, how can we show up as our best selves?
We don’t know what we don’t know. Until we know better. So, we learn to deliberately learn to manage and lead.
What are the top ways to accomplish this goal?
- Seek out training
- Find a mentor: someone experienced who will give you guidance
- Get a coach: someone who will give you feedback on what you are doing effectively and what you need to change
- Go to online learning: classes or a community to access best practices, methods, tools and skills
- Go to school, though my MBA did prepare me about leading business, it did not prepare me to be a leader (esp. of people)
- Do it yourself through reading, being a student of others—find role models and those that inspire you
- Learn on the job: you’ll discover what works and what does not (though this is time consuming and sometimes painful)
It’s important to choose. Be deliberate.
Ideas:
- Start with your strengths. Know them. 4 functions of managing are to: plan, organize, lead and control (i.e., measure); what are you good at?
- Uncover your development areas about being a manager. Or if you want to be considered a leader, what do you need to hone so that others will follow you?
- Then actively strengthen those areas; be focused; give yourself a timeframe. Ask someone to hold you accountable.
- Know that to be a leader, you will be a continuous learner, be a lifelong learner.
Because if you manage people, your people will talk about you. Think about what you want them to say. How you’d like them to describe you. And then focus on those areas. On purpose.
After all, that is why I named my company intentional leaders. Because I think both managing and leading should be deliberate. That we know where we’re going. And we get there through clear purpose, intentions and actions.
So, who do you want to be?
Whatever you want to be, be great at it! 12 weeks to manage or lead strongly and confidently:
https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
Can you motivate? Yes or no? Do you consider this part of your role as a manager?
Question 2: Why don’t employees perform?
Many times I hear….lack of training, tools, knowledge, lack of engagement, , unclear goals, personal issues, lack direction, no feedback …..and…they don’t care, they lack purpose, they’re lazy. Ugh. But if you can motivate them, and that’s your job. What’s the disconnect? Why would there be people who are unmotivated if we can motivate them?
The reality is that people are already motivated. They may not, however, be motivated to what you want them to do. Your job is to create an environment in which others are motivated to perform at their best. Bring out their motivation, their energy.
How? What are all the ways you can motivate? And do you know the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivators?
Extrinsic motivators are from outside of you, intrinsic motivators are from within you.
One is about what I receive after I complete a task, which may be expected or unexpected. The other is about the experience while I’m completing the task.
- Which is more common? = Extrinsic
- More sustainable? = Intrinsic
- More difficult to execute? Intrinsic
While we can’t change who people are, what we can do is help them to discover their intrinsic motivators. And also connect or align intrinsic motivators with things that maybe we enjoy less.
Here are 4 ways to begin to understand intrinsic motivation:
- Take a strengths assessment: See, Discover Your Strengths, by Don Clifton (from Gallup)
- Explore a work based personality assessments: DiSC assessments have a version for managers, individual contributors and leaders which have a behavioral focus and are excellent tools about our energy (and what drains us!)
- Consider the Individual Dimensions Inventory: this is an assessment tool from Management Research Group, and focuses on the emotional satisfaction we get from work related dimensions (I am also certified on this tool and can also get you more information if you are interested)
- Take a values inventory: learn your core beliefs; are they aligned with what you are doing? The Values Institute on Character offers a freebie: The VIA Survey: 31 Ways to Recognize Your Strengths and Act on Them (positivepsychology.com)
Planting some leadership seeds:
- Understand various types of motivators; get to know your employees and their preferences for both extrinsic and intrinsic motivators.
- Use extrinsic strategically: be thoughtful, reinforce specifics, point out what you want more of from others around you.
- Do a wellness check up on you: choose one of the 4 ways to identify motivators, discover something new about yourself—where are you aligned in being intrinsically motivated, where are you not in alignment?
- Take action, one small step to strengthen the motivational environment for you, for your team.
Learn about goal setting AND the link to motivation....AND strengthen your leadership! https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
Review the following statements. Indicate if you AGREE or DISAGREE.
-
Your intelligence is something very basic about you that you can’t change very much.
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You can learn new things, but you can’t really change how intelligent you are.
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Not matter how much intelligence you have, you can always change it quite a bit.
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You can always substantially change how intelligent you are.
This is Carol Dweck’s work she explored this concept of mindset—fixed and growth. She’s a Stanford psychological and has done decades of research in this area. Carol is a rock star.
Here is a brief overview of the differences…
Fixed Mindset = Intelligence and talent is fixed at birth
- “I’m either good at it, or I’m not”
- feel that my abilities determine everything, my success or lack of it
- “When I fail, I’m no good”
- look smart in every situation, prove myself
- feel threatened by the success of others
- (NOTE: If you agreed with statements 1 and 2 above, this is FIXED)
Growth Mindset = Intelligence and talent can be grown and developed
- “I can learn anything I want to”
- feel that my effort and attitude determine everything
- “When I fail, I learn”
- stretch myself, take risks and learn
- find lessons and inspiration in others’ success
- (NOTE: If you agreed with statements 3 and 4 above, this is GROWTH)
The great news is that we can change our mindset. We can help our brain to create a love of learning and resilience.
For me, this showed up in math….until I challenged this long standing belief. Deliberately. In grad school. While I’m certainly not a math wizard, I am adept and capable. And I don’t beat myself up over what I know and don’t know about math anymore.
Consider something that you don’t think you’re good at. Then answer the following questions.
- What are you not good at?
- How do you talk to yourself about this belief?
- Where did the belief originate?
- Do you have any evidence to the contrary? (If so, why not choose to belief those examples?)
- Is it still serving you to believe this, or is it interfering with your leadership effectiveness (i.e., what are the consequences of not changing)? If so, change it.
Here are some seed of learning around a growth mindset:
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Explore and discuss growth and fixed mindset with your team; watch a TED talk or video from Carol Dweck
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Challenge yourself and your team to actively identify when you find yourself if a fixed mindset—realize that you can choose a different narrative
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Tackle one belief about yourself; take action to learn; find someone who is “good” at that thing and learn from them; reframe your language to be more growth oriented:
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I am learning to be comfortable with difficult conversations
- I am becoming a person who addresses challenging discussions
Summary
· Explored growth and fixed mindset; just by knowing this information, you can think and act in new ways
· Even if we are a good learner, chances are there are limiting beliefs we have
· Talk about this concept with your team
· Create a plan to alter a fixed belief you have about yourself
Be the coach everyone wants to work for! You can: https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
Despite the many stories of famous people who triumphed over failure, many of us fear it. When did we learn that? What if failure was part of the curriculum to becoming who we are meant to be? That all those lessons make us stronger, not weaker. Ah, but that involves a mindset shift, a new belief that failure and mistakes are lessons, and not be avoided or feared.
Can we embrace this strategy? Because despite the feelings we generate due to those fails and mistakes, what is the opposite approach? And what does that teach? Teach our employees (and our children) that failures are to be avoided? That mistakes are to be feared?
I wish I could go back in time and tell my more youthful self, not be so afraid. To risk, to make mistakes, to fail. And to feel the feelings associated with something not working out as I had intended, and knowing that was okay too. That I was still okay. Those stories I told myself about how I "should have done this," or "shouldn't have done that" were just that. Stories.
And, just to be clear, I'm not advocating for careless risks, running around with scissors, recklessness. I talking about changing the narrative on how we see failures and what they mean about us.
So planting some seeds for a more intentional approach, I'd advocate to:
- Have goals big enough to challenge you, to stretch you, and then plan to make mistakes, and fail along the way. You only really fail if you stop reaching for that goal.
- Talk to your team openly about mistakes and failures. Learn from them. Be vulnerable about what you've learned. Allow them to be vulnerable too. Reinforce the learning, and move on.
- Practice forgiveness for yourself and others. Because this too, is part of the journey.
Be the coach everyone wants to work for! You can: https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
Art class, let’s begin.
- Draw a circle.
- You will put a number inside the circle and outside the circle.
- Inside the circle, how much control do you have over your workday.
- Outside the circle, how much is outside of your control.
- Tricky math situation: these two numbers add up to 100%.
Which was higher?In the 1950’s, Julian Rotter was thinking about your personality. How cool is that? He developed a concept called, Locus of Control. Oh no, not locusts, which are like gross. This is about the degree to which we believe that we, as opposed to external forces, have control over the outcome of events in our lives.
Disclaimer: I am not a psychologist. I am interpreting his work and I think as leaders being aware of our thoughts is important.
How much control do we feel like we have? A high internal locus of control = your outcomes are determined by your hard work or decisions.
A high external locus of control = your outcomes are controlled by “fate” and/or independent of your actions.
Being extremely high or low can be stressful. And speaking of stress, if we attribute too much to external events, this may magnify our stress. Why? Because we may feel less inclined to action, i.e., “It just doesn’t matter.”
To use this information:
- Consider your locus of control, maybe take a free assessment and see where you “land”
- Write down something that stresses you, decide you will take action (go inside the circle!)
- Use the stress strategies to determine at least one action you can take to reduce your anxiety, stress and/or overwhelm
Remember there are no perfect answers. The answer is to take action.
After you listen to the podcast, check out my overview of 6 Stress StrategiesAdditional Resource: Forgive for Good, Dr. Fred Luskin (sooooooooooooo good!)Be the coach everyone wants to work for! You can: https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
This episode highlights the beauty and challenges of learning, following Martin M. Broadwell's model and the "Four Levels of Teaching." Though relevant to teaching, this framework becomes valuable to explore relative to learning and where, as adults, we sometimes get stuck.
The 4 levels are:
1. Unconscious incompetence: Where no one wants to be or hang out very long!
2. Conscious incompetence: Where we identify a learning need or gap in our knowledge and skills.
3. Conscious competence: Where we learn and have to try really hard to get it right!
4. Unconscious competence: Where you show up to work not remembering how you got there (meaning, it's second nature!).
As a leader you can apply this model to your own learning and to the challenges your team will also face. In this episode, I'll use SMART goals as an example of this process.
To use the model effectively consider these three "seeds" of learning:
- Notice your thoughts when you're learning something new. Don't judge yourself, but notice when you're saying negative things to yourself (e.g., "This is too hard," "I'm too old to learn this," "This sucks!").
- Feel all the feelings. Allow them, experience them. Feelings of awkwardness, frustration, irritation, embarrassment....they're all part of our learning journey. Those feelings won't hurt us, we need to work through them to experience more confidence and success.
- Notice when it becomes easier. Celebrate when you (or others!) learn something new. Give yourself permission to acknowledge, recognize, reward yourself for the growth. And for working through the challenges to mastery.
Because by observing this process in yourself and with others, you'll model resilience. And next time, it will be just a little easier!
I used SMART goals as an example in this podcast, if you'd like more information check out this free resource: https://youtu.be/WYHvaT3iIwU
Be the coach everyone wants to work for! You can: https://www.intentionaleaderscourses.com/confident-leader
Welcome to the Intentional Leaders Podcast with Cyndi Wentland. In this series, we focus on all thing's leadership related. We're here to take your skills and practices to a new level, with small habits that make a big difference. Because my passion is creating confident, successful, and focused leaders who manage with purpose and impact.
Regardless of where you are in your career, aspiring leader, first time manager or experienced executive, I've been in your shoes! And I know the challenges of managing projects, budgets, change and people, and I also know how rewarding it can be.
To achieve that impossible goal, to be that inspiring mentor to others, to make a positive impact in people’s lives. To create strategic and sustainable change in an organization. That’s the reward for the work of leading well.
My goal is to equip you with the tools, resources, and support to accomplish this and more. To learn when you want, how you want. To be unstoppable. And happier.
Like that extra shot of espresso in your latte, I’ll send you energy as you tackle the people and business challenges you face. I’ll also be celebrating with you as you accomplish your goals.
Ultimately, this podcast is about planting seeds of intentionality, small habits that make a big difference in your relationships, reputation, credibility, and results.
I know that leadership has its challenges but learning to lead shouldn’t be one of them.