Bare Marriage: Recent Episodes

Sheila Gregoire

Tired of Christian pat answers about marriage? The podcast that goes in-depth into marriage, parenting, and even sex--to see how we can live the passionate life we were meant for. Paired with To Love, Honor and Vacuum--the blog!

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

Buckle up for the final episode of our 3-part series on purity culture! In this episode we dig into what genuine accountability actually looks like when influential Christian leaders (namely Dannah Gresh) recognize the harm their teachings have caused. Through a thoughtful discussion of repentance, public responsibility, and the lasting impact of purity culture, we continue to ask why admitting specific mistakes remains so difficult—and why doing so matters for healing and preventing future harm. Also, is Dannah’s rewrite of “And the Bride Wore White” really any better? Tune in to find out!

CHECK OUT OUR OCTOBER SIMULCAST EVENT

We're doing our sex talk and a one-day marriage conference! Check it out for more information.

Find the church info page here!

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Bare Marriage Episode 290 on Authoritarianism
  • The free book The Authoritarians (Includes the quizzes you can take to see where you score!)
  • Bare Marriage Facebook Page
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Whole Story resource for parents

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

What does Jesus actually mean when he tells us to judge a tree by its fruit - and what happens when we apply that idea to marriage and Christian teaching? Today Joanna, our resident statistician, joins us as we dig into the biblical meaning of “good fruit,” unpack the research behind our marriage studies, and explore what trust, spiritual fruit, and decision-making have to do with one another. We also welcome Dr. Camden Morgante and discuss her amazing book “Recovering From Purity Culture”. Settle in for Part 2 of our 3-part series to kick off this new season - you don’t want to miss this one!

CHECK OUT OUR OCTOBER SIMULCAST EVENT

We're doing our sex talk and a one-day marriage conference! Check it out for more information.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • About Josh Butler’s book “Beautiful Union”
  • Our podcasts referencing Josh Butler:
    • Episode 260
    • Episode 301
  • M.J. Langham Thread link
  • Dr. Camden Morgante’s book, “Recovering From Purity Culture”
  • Dr. Camden’s Substack
  • Harmful Outcomes of Purity Culture Facebook Quotes

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

And….we’re BACK with a fresh new season of the Bare Marriage podcast! We’re kicking things off with a lively deep dive into the debate over purity culture, asking what happens when influential Christian voices revise their past teachings, redefine the terms, and rewrite the history of what they once taught. We unpack the difference between biblical chastity and shame-based purity culture, take on straw man arguments and shifting definitions, and explore how messages about sex, marriage, authority, and obligation can shape the church in ways we may not always recognize. Real change requires more than just saying something was harmful - it requires honesty, accountability, and a willingness to pursue better fruit. This is Part 1 of a 3-part series, so let’s get to it and be sure to tune in next week!

CHECK OUT OUR OCTOBER SIMULCAST EVENT

We're doing our sex talk and a one-day marriage conference! Check it out for more information.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Friday Round-Up link on Alisa Childers
  • Our statement on Shaunti Feldhahn (with links to her statement)
  • Roys Report article on Sheila calling out Focus on the Family
  • The Whole Story Course
  • Our book, “She Deserves Better”
  • Dannah’s interview with Juli Slattery
  • Dannah’s interview with Focus on the Family
  • Zachary Wagner’s book, “Men of Virtue”

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

In this season finale we take a dive into social media, examining the messages behind viral clips from popular marriage and church influencers, and challenge fear-based teachings about marriage, parenting, gender, and authority. Through our thoughtful (and often hilarious) analyses and lively discussion, we hope this conversation encourages you to pursue healthier, Christ-centered relationships rooted in mutual respect, truth, and genuine spiritual freedom.

CHECK OUT OUR OCTOBER SIMULCAST EVENT

We're doing our sex talk and a one-day marriage conference! Check it out for more information.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Zachary Wagner’s Book “Men of Virtue”
  • Podcast Episode 262: Problems with Marriage on the Rock by Jimmy Evans
  • Episode 262 Blog Post
  • Sheila’s Substack
  • Alex Falcone's reel about divorce stats (he's the good one!)

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

What does it actually mean to be a “good man” in today’s world—and does Christianity offer something deeper than dominance, leadership clichés, or internet manosphere culture? In this thoughtful and surprisingly hopeful conversation, Zachary Wagner joins us to unpack masculinity through the lens of the fruits of the Spirit, exploring everything from loneliness and power to marriage, self-control, parenting boys, and the modern crisis of meaning for men. Together, we challenge shallow cultural narratives and argue that true strength looks a lot more like love, service, courage, and emotional maturity than performance or control. Listen in as we propose a healthier vision of manhood for both men and the people who love them.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Zachary Wagner’s Website
  • Zachary’s Book: “Men of Virtue”
  • Our conversation with Zachary about his book Non-Toxic Masculinity

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

What happens when you know the old “because I said so” parenting style isn’t healthy…but you also don’t want to raise entitled little tyrants? In this episode, parenting coach Wendy Snyder joins us for a deeply practical, heartfelt, (and hilariously honest) conversation about strong-willed kids, emotional regulation, yelling, boundaries, anxiety, and what healthy authority actually looks like in family life. Together, we unpack the difference between authoritarian, permissive, and powerful parenting—and why so many parents swing wildly between all three. From power struggles and picky eaters to shame spirals and unmet emotional needs, this episode is packed with compassionate, evidence-based wisdom that will leave you feeling both challenged and hopeful. If you’ve ever wondered how to parent with confidence without fear, guilt, or constant battles, this conversation is for you.

CHECK OUT OUR OCTOBER SIMULCAST EVENT

We're doing our sex talk and a one-day marriage conference! Check it out for more information.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Wendy Snyder’s Book “Fresh Start Your Family” Pre-Order Link & Bonuses
  • Wendy’s Website
  • Wendy’s Instagram

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

What if the “Billy Graham rule” (or the evangelical distortion of it) says more about fear than integrity? In this episode, Danielle Strickland helps us unpack the assumptions behind the idea that men and women can’t be alone together—and ask whether it protects integrity or quietly reinforces suspicion, segregation, and control. Drawing on Scripture, leadership research, and real-world church experiences, our conversation explores how transparency—not isolation—is a stronger safeguard against abuse and moral failure. We also dig into how purity culture, pornography narratives, and fear-based systems shape the way we interpret opposite-sex friendships, mentoring, and authority. If you’re ready to rethink gender, leadership, and trust through a more Jesus-centered lens, this one will give you plenty to chew on.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Danielle’s Book, “Better Together”
  • Danielle’s Website
  • Danielle’s Substack
  • “The Billy Graham Rule” aka The Modesto Manifesto
  • Podcast Episode 192: How Every Young Man's Battle Makes Everything Worse:
  • "Recovering From Purity Culture" by Dr. Camden Morgante
  • The Whole Story courses

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

Welcome to Part 2 of our breakdown of For Men Only! This episode dives headfirst into the sex chapter — and quickly exposes how shaky stats and selective storytelling create misleading narratives about libido and desire. We examine why women’s sexual desire is far more contextual — and relational — than the book admits. We unpack the myth of “on-demand” desire, challenge rigid sex rules like the 72-hour expectation, and explore why libido is far more dynamic — and human — than most advice admits. We also critique popular marriage frameworks that outsource self-worth to partners and rely on oversimplified gender stereotypes rather than evidence-based relational health. Get ready for a candid, research-informed takedown of bad advice — with a clear message: real intimacy thrives on emotional maturity, not scripts.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Our article demolishing Shaunti Feldhahn's "research" on love & respect
  • One Sheet on For Women Only
  • Podcast on For Women Only
  • Podcast on mental load
  • Our book The Marriage You Want

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode, we dive into For Men Only, by Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn, and let’s just say…we have many thoughts! We unpack some of its core claims about gender dynamics, communication, and emotional needs. Rebecca shares how this book impacted her first few months of marriage to Connor, and not in a good way!

We address major concerns with the book’s research methods, its reliance on broad gender stereotypes, and its tendency to frame women as overly emotional and men as disengaged. While it contains one of the best descriptors we’ve seen on mental load, the Feldhahns have yet to propose workable solutions that include mutual accountability and behavioral change. Sheila and Rebecca advocate for a more nuanced, evidence-informed understanding of relationships—one that prioritizes emotional maturity, shared responsibility, and meaningful communication over simplified gender narratives. This one is worth a listen and keep an eye out for Part 2 next week!

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Our article demolishing Shaunti Feldhahn's "research" on love & respect
  • One Sheet on For Women Only
  • Podcast on For Women Only
  • Podcast on mental load
  • Our book The Marriage You Want

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

Tia Levings is back, and this time she's brought the book so many of you have been waiting for — I Belong to Me, a survivor's guide to recovery and hope after religious trauma, and the follow-up to her memoir A Well-Trained Wife.

After thousands of women slid into her DMs asking how did you heal, how do I find myself again, Tia sat down and wrote the guide she wished she'd had. In this conversation, we get into what religious trauma actually is and why therapists are only now starting to name it, how spiritual bypassing uses faith language to invalidate your pain, and why the period right after you leave a high-control church or marriage is actually when you're most vulnerable — not most free. We also talk about why your voice and your sexuality are twin wounds that heal together, how to start building boundaries when you've never been allowed to have any, and why real recovery eventually means sitting with your own complicity — not to shame yourself, but to finally choose something different. If you've ever wondered was what I went through actually trauma, and can I actually heal from it — this episode is for you.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • I Belong to Me by Tia Levings — Release Date: May 5th — Pre-Order Now!
  • Listen to Tia's first episode with us on her book The Well Trained Wife

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

Who's carrying the mental and emotional load when it comes to sex? Today Keith and I are breaking down all the ways evangelical marriage culture places that burden almost entirely on women: from appearance standards and contraception to performing passion on demand and suppressing her own emotions so his experience stays comfortable. We are listening to sermon clips and reading quotes from bestselling Christian marriage books that are pretty hard to hear, but really important to call out for the harm they cause to women (and marriage).

We are also talking about what we all actually want — a sex life rooted in real intimacy, where both people get to show up with everything they are.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • The Orgasm Course and The Husband’s Edition
  • Starter Pack Podcasts on Making Sex Feel Great

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

Finding a healthy church after being hurt is hard — especially when toxic churches have learned to hide what they really believe. This week, Rebecca and I walk you through our evidence-based, step-by-step method for evaluating a church's website before you ever step through the door. From homepage vibes to staff pages, statement of beliefs to membership covenants, we'll show you exactly what to look for — and what to run from.

We're also sharing real examples from actual church websites, some of them from well-known names you'll recognize, so you can train your eye to spot the difference between a church that genuinely welcomes you and one that just wants to slot you into a hierarchy. And we're connecting it all to our brand-new peer-reviewed study on internalized modesty messaging — because finding a healthy church isn't just nice to have. For girls especially, it can make all the difference.

GET OUR TEMPLATE to Vet Your Church's Website

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Our article about risk of sexual harassment in the Scientific Study of Religion Journal

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

A close look at how Every Man’s Battle ignores the impact of predation on women and girls–and is just plain creepy! Plus a new study on hostile/benevolent sexism when it comes to tradwife content. It’s our podcast and Friday RoundUp in one!

Our podcast we wanted to air this week just wasn’t ready in time–so we decided to record our Friday RoundUp a day early, and run it as this week’s podcast. So if you’re used to listening to our podcast, remember that on YouTube every week we also have a 20 minute unfiltered, unscripted Friday Roundup!

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Our post on the two Every Man’s Battle excerpts
  • The Facebook post people were commenting on
  • The article on the new tradwife study
  • Our download on the problems with Every Man’s Battle
  • Our download on the problems with Every Young Man’s Battle
  • Subscribe to our YouTube channel so you don't miss all the regular Friday roundups!

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

Keith and Rebecca are taking over the podcast this week and are answering your questions — from how to find a healthy church community to whether complementarianism is a dealbreaker. They're refreshingly honest and a little funny about it. Then Joanna joins to dig into a brand-new peer-reviewed paper on how internalized modesty messaging affects girls' self-esteem and their risk of being sexually harassed in church as minors. What they found is both unsurprising and deeply sobering: environments that emphasize modesty messaging don't just harm girls, they actually groom boys into predatory behavior. It's research that needs to get out of their little corner of the internet and into the broader conversation, and your support made it possible.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Love & Respect Docuseries
  • Book suggestions from Rebecca: Mistborn Series by Brandon Sanderson
  • Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
  • Shattered Sea Trilogy - Joe Abercrombie
  • Farseer Trilogy - Robin Hobb
  • (Join The Patreon for our great book club for more!)

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

What does it mean to have realistic expectations of a spouse with ADHD? How does gender play into how ADHD impacts a relationship? And what do accommodations actually look like—versus what do they not look like in a healthy marriage?

This week Rebecca talks about her own diagnosis of ADHD with her father Keith (a pediatrician) and good friend Daniel Forsythe (a licensed psychotherapist who works with neurodiverse marriages frequently) to dig down to discuss what the evidence actually says is possible, the risk of “caregiver burnout”, and more as Rebecca picks the brains of the actual professionals so we can all land in an evidence-based place!

THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR:

To Heal or Harm: Scripture's Use as Poison or Medicine for Abuse Survivors by Dr. Steven Tracy. How to refute it when Bible verses are weaponized!

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Study regarding impact of ADHD on women versus men in adulthood
  • Write-up on how we falsely believe that ADHD is easier on women
  • Study on how a messy home impacts women versus men’s social standing and who we intrinsically believe is “responsible” for cleaning
  • The Marriage You Want book
  • Is It You, Me, or Adult ADHD?
  • A more therapeutic book about counselling practices for marriages working with ADHD:

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

What if the reason so many women struggle with desire, arousal, and orgasm has nothing to do with their bodies—and everything to do with what they were taught before they even wanted to be sexual? In this episode, Rebecca and I pull together research and real-life stories to trace a thread that runs from how we raise our daughters, to what happens on the wedding night, to why so many women are secretly faking it.

THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR:

To Heal or Harm: Scripture's Use as Poison or Medicine for Abuse Survivors by Dr. Steven Tracy. How to refute it when Bible verses are weaponized!

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work (and get access to the book club!)
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Our Orgasm Course and Boost Your Libido Course
  • Love and Respect Docu-Series
  • Research Paper: "Sexual Passion in Adolescence: Examining Its Transmission Through Mothers"
  • Research Paper: "Do Women Withhold Honest Sexual Communication When They Believe Their Partner's Manhood Is Threatened?"
  • Instagram Thread by Ally Jolie (somatic psychologist, UK)
  • Podcast episode on men projecting sexual attention-seeking onto girls

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

Jay Stringer, licensed therapist and author of Unwanted, is back to talk about his brand new book Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow. Together, we unpack why so many of us — especially those from church backgrounds — were taught to fear and suppress our desires rather than develop them. We dig into enmeshment, the "provisional self," why differentiation is actually the secret to intimacy and a healthy sex life, and why low libido is never just a libido problem. If you've ever felt broken, empty, or like you don't even know what you want anymore, this conversation is for you.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Get Jay Stringer's book Desire
  • Get Jay's book Unwanted
  • Follow Jay on Instagram
  • Sheila's book The Marriage You Want, and the video curriculum that goes with it

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

Anna Rollins grew up as the kind of girl who took her faith seriously — and that's exactly why it hurt her so much. In this conversation, Anna and I dig into her memoir Famished: On Food, Sex, and Growing Up as a Good Girl, where she traces how purity culture's messages about desire, self-denial, and the body quietly fueled decades of disordered eating, compulsive exercise, and sexual pain. What strikes me most is that Anna's parents were loving, her church wasn't overtly abusive — and yet the cumulative message she absorbed was shrink yourself. I think this conversation is going to resonate deeply with so many of you.

THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR:

To Heal or Harm: Scripture's Use as Poison or Medicine for Abuse Survivors by Dr. Steven Tracy. How to refute it when Bible verses are weaponized! https://amzn.to/4rSYkZu

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Get Anna Rollins' book Famished
  • Follow Anna on Substack
  • Watch our Love & Respect Docuseries
  • The Portuguese version of The Great Sex Rescue
  • The Chinese version of The Great Sex Rescue
  • The Spanish version of The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

Rebecca, Joanna, and I are pulling back the curtain on what went into making the Love & Respect docuseries — including the things that didn't make the final cut.

From the bizarre Nazi torture illustration Emerson used to keep women in bad marriages, to the genuinely heartbreaking story of a little boy watching his father abuse his mother, this episode gets raw and honest about why we've been fighting this battle for seven years. We also share the stunning survey results from a church in Florida that show exactly what happens when love-and-respect-style teaching takes root in a community. And we end with a word of real hope: healthy churches exist, better books are being written, and the tide is turning.

THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR:

To Heal or Harm: Scripture's Use as Poison or Medicine for Abuse Survivors by Dr. Steven Tracy. How to refute it when Bible verses are weaponized! https://amzn.to/4rSYkZu

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Watch the Love & Respect Docuseries! Episode 1, Episode 2, and Episode 3
  • Our Love & Respect hub (links to all Love & Respect articles 7 resources at bottom)
  • The Substack from the Florida woman
  • Subscribe to Good Fruit Faith on YouTube

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

Part two of a three-part docuseries deep dive into the best-selling evangelical marriage book Love & Respect.

LOVE & RESPECT DOCUSERIES:

  • Watch the video version of this
  • Here's episode 1.
  • To see episode 3 next week, subscribe to the Good Fruit Faith Channel

This podcast delves into what Love & Respect is based on--recycled ideas from a 1970s best-seller; faulty stats; misrepresented research--and editing the Bible.

BONUS CONTENT
Gain bonus content, full videos of the interviews and MORE if you become a patron! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Support Good Fruit Faith, that paved the way for this project

LINKS:

  • Op-ed on the history of ordination of women and the SBC
  • Shaunti Feldhahn's original survey
  • Double-barrelled questions
  • Study on shoulder-to-shoulder communication
  • The Authoritarians book
  • Breakdown of Eggerichs misunderstanding marital rape and saying you can't tell if a woman is aroused
  • Podcast about the mystery of a woman being "turned on"
  • Dr. Shauna Springer's original PsychologyToday article

EXPERT INTERVIEWEES INFORMATION:

  • Dr. Chuck DeGroat
  • Dr. Shauna Springer
  • Dr. Andrew Bauman
  • Dr. Beth Felkner Jones and her Substack
  • Jay Stringer and his book Desire

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

Part one of a three-part docuseries deep dive into the best-selling evangelical marriage book, Love & Respect.

THE LOVE & RESPECT DOCUSERIES:

This is a video series, so if you want to watch it in all its glory, head over to https://youtu.be/z3EEAkjwcXA!

To see episodes 2 & 3 when they launch next week, subscribe to the Good Fruit Faith Channel

This podcast delves into the broken logic of Love & Respect, why so many people bought into it, and the truly bizarre nature of what passes for evangelical marriage advice.

Copyright Disclaimer: - Under section 107 of the copyright Act 1976, allowance is mad for FAIR USE for purpose such a as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statues that might otherwise be infringing. Non- Profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of FAIR USE. All DVD clips and quotes from the book are used for criticism and teaching, and therefore fall under fair use.

BONUS CONTENT
Gain bonus content, full videos of the interviews and MORE if you become a patron! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

LINKS:

  • Support Good Fruit Faith
  • Our paper, Sanctified Sexism
  • Our one sheet on the problems with Love & Respect

EXPERT INTERVIEWEES INFORMATION:

  • Chuck DeGroat: https://www.chuckdegroat.net/
  • Chuck's book, "When Narcissism Comes to Church"
  • Andrew Bauman: https://andrewjbauman.com/
  • Andrew's book, "The Sexually Healthy Man"

Music Attribution

“In the Dark” performed by BlockBeatz/stock.adobe.com
“Romantic Smooth Rock (O Mundo Gira)” performed by Yummy Tunes/stock.adobe.com
“Gentle Relaxed Smooth Jazz (Soul Power)” performed by Tasty Tunes/stock.adobe.com

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

Today I'm talking with Dr. Steven Tracy, author of "To Heal or Harm," about how scripture has been twisted to keep abuse victims trapped. We're diving into passages that discuss things like, "wives submit," "God hates divorce," and "a gentle answer turns away wrath" to show what they actually mean in context. And spoiler alert: none of them tell victims to stay in abuse. If you've ever felt like the Bible was being used against you, or if you're a pastor who wants to understand how to truly help abuse victims, this conversation is essential.

PLUS: A special announcement with Rebecca you won’t want to miss!

TO HEAL OR TO HARM: Get the book here!

COMING SOON:

Subscribe to the Good Fruit Faith channel for our Love & Respect podcast coming soon!

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Mending the Soul website
  • Reporting on John MacArthur excommunicating Eileen Gray for leaving her abusive husband

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

We're tackling three really problematic things that have happened recently with evangelical leaders that show just how low the bar has gotten for men. From Jonathan Podluka announcing he wants to sleep with multiple beautiful women, to pastors responding to Philip Yancey's affair by saying "it could be any of us," to Tim Challies telling people in miserable marriages to just stick it out until they die—it's all connected to this theology that refuses to hold men accountable and tells women they just need to accept it. The common thread? A theology of male hierarchy that steals intimacy from marriages, justice from victims, and Jesus from people who are hurting.

THE MARRIAGE YOU WANT:

Get our book that corrects this horrible teaching! It's got a study guide and video series too!

Subscribe to the Good Fruit Faith channel for our Love & Respect podcast coming soon!

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Tim Challies' article on if you chose poorly
  • My article about Philip Yancey
  • My reel with the clips of Jonathan Pokluda
  • Sheila's article about Jonathan Podluka’s 2023 sermon, and my new op ed
  • Sarah Diefendorf's peer-reviewed article
  • My recommended books on porn
  • Our podcast on the 5-point complementarian plan for marriage

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

Today I'm talking with Lydia Grace about her incredible new book, Bible Truth About Women. Lydia grew up in the ultra-conservative IBLP circles and went to seminary to answer her own questions about what the Bible really says about women's roles. What she discovered was shocking: there are ore than 120 misleading tactics that complementarians use to prop up male authority that simply isn't in the original Greek. This is the comprehensive resource we've been waiting for that addresses every major passage about women in one place.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Get Bible Truth about Women by Lydia Kaiser! Kindle available now, or Pre-order the paperback
  • Bare Marriage podcast playlists for people getting introduced to our podcast

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

We're kicking off 2026 by teaching you how to think critically about Christian marriage and relationship advice! Rebecca and I walk through some really problematic articles and social media posts - from the Gospel Coalition's piece against therapy to Tilly Dillehay’s tandem bike marriage metaphor - and show you exactly why they make us feel unsafe. We'll teach you how to spot red flags, question who benefits from this advice, and why prioritizing your safety and discernment isn't selfish - it's Biblical.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • The Desiring God article on tandem bikes
  • The Gospel Coalition article on therapy
  • Our book The Marriage You Want, and the video series that goes with it
  • The study on followership behaviour

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

We're coming full circle from our podcast on right-wing authoritarianism to talk about that viral Oklahoma student essay and why Christians rallying around bad arguments makes all Christians look terrible. Then Keith and I get vulnerable about how our faith has changed over the last few years—from realizing faith isn't just about beliefs, to understanding who Jesus actually called out (spoiler: not "the world"), to reframing the concept of sin as form of brokenness that God truly understands and has deep compassion for (as opposed to the angry God who is mad at us all the time). We’ll also share some of the exciting things coming in 2026!

JOIN OUR FUNDRAISING CAMPAIGN!

Help us raise money to fund our research, our new podcast docuseries, and our translation projects! Give through the Good Fruit Faith Initiative (tax deductible within the United States) or join our Patreon!

CHECK OUT THE RESOURCES MENTIONED:

  • The Whole Story puberty course
  • The Great Sex Rescue

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Our podcast on Right Wing Authoritarianism

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

Keith and I went through 10 clips from evangelical influencers and pastors that have been driving people crazy all year. We break down why Josh Howerton's claims about conservative mental health don't hold up, why blaming women for divorce is absurd, and how complementarian teaching about male authority actually contradicts what Jesus taught.

JOIN OUR FUNDRAISING CAMPAIGN!

Help us raise money to fund our research, our new podcast docuseries, and our translation projects! Give through the Good Fruit Faith Initiative (tax deductible within the United States) or join our Patreon!

CHECK OUT THE RESOURCES MENTIONED:

  • The Whole Story puberty course
  • The Marriage You Want
  • Our Great Sex Rescue Toolkit to respond to pastors and friends

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • 2025 study on conservativism & mental health
  • The 2015 study on conservatives and happiness
  • The 2021 study on women's health in sexist churches
  • Our study on women's sexual health in conservative spaces
  • Our podcast on why women seek divorce
  • Report on Child Marriage in the US
  • Report on Child Marriage in Canada
  • Our article responding to Josh Howerton's claims that evangelicals have better marriages

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us Fan Mail

It's episode 307 of the Bare Marriage podcast! Holly Fletcher joins us to talk about her AMAZING new book Missionary Kids. I devoured it in one sitting. We need to listen to the stories of these kids, because they're a microcosm of white evangelicalism!

JOIN OUR FUNDRAISING CAMPAIGN!

Help us raise money to fund our research, our new podcast docuseries, and our translation projects! Give through the Good Fruit Faith Initiative (tax deductible within the United States) or join our Patreon!

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Check out Missionary Kids by Holly Berkley Fletcher
  • Holly's Substack: A Zebra Without Stripes
  • Holly on Blue Sky
  • Instagram
  • Threads
  • Etsy
  • Our book She Deserves Better

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

Happy American Thanksgiving! We're rerunning one of my favorite episodes from four years ago where Rebecca and I talk about what God is actually like—spoiler: He laughs and takes joy in life, not just suffers on the cross. We also dive into why our Great Sex Rescue research matters and address all those critiques about our methodology (and yes, we're now peer-reviewed, so that critique doesn't really work anymore). Plus, we tackle that awful Missouri pastor story about "trophy wives" and explain why harmful marriage advice is like thalidomide—it might help some people, but that doesn't mean it's not causing serious damage to others.

THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSOR

Order Dorothy Greco's book For the Love of Women! Learn why it can feel so difficult to be female in our society, and what we can do about it.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Check out The Great Sex Rescue!
  • Gretchen Baskerville's book The Life Saving Divorce
  • Check out our new YouTube channel, with our five short videos you can share on key topics we keep returning to time and time again!
  • Our peer reviewed article in Sociology of Religion
  • A longer article I wrote on the Thalidomide analogy

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

Complementarians use a lot of really nice-sounding words to describe their beliefs about gender roles, but when you actually break down what they mean, they're not talking about roles at all—they're talking about hierarchy. In this episode, Keith and I decode all the euphemisms like "different roles," "servant leadership," and "his headship is for your protection" to show what complementarians are really saying: that men should be in authority over women. The problem is, when you actually implement these beliefs in marriage, we see relationships struggle—and the statistics bear that out. And we work directly against the gospel, putting the husband in the place of Jesus.

THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSOR

Order Dorothy Greco's book For the Love of Women which just launched this week!

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • "The Marriage You Want" book on Amazon, or get the curriculum and video series from Baker Books
  • "The Bible vs. Biblical Womanhood" by Philip Payne
  • "How God Sees Women" by Terran Williams
  • Rebecca Groothuis essay on "Equal in Being, Unequal in Function"
  • Previous podcast episode on John Piper's "harsh husband" advice

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

We're diving into part two of our discussion on Francine Rivers' "And the Shofar Blew.” While Christian fiction can be inspirational, this novel reinforces dangerous theology about marriage, telling abuse victims to stay and suffer "better," portraying women who report pastoral abuse as liars, and presenting an incredibly sexist view of women's roles in the church as normal and godly. Join me and my friends Merry, Sarah, and Joanna as we unpack why books like these—even though they're just fiction—profoundly shape how Christian women understand marriage, faith, and their own worth.

THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSOR

Order Dorothy Greco's book For the Love of Women which just launched this week!

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Find Sarah McDugal on Facebook
  • Sarah's help for women healing from betrayal trauma: www.wildernesstowild.com
  • For women navigating high-conflict divorce or custody: My Freedom Navigator
  • Find Dr. Merry Lin's book "Rebecoming" and listen in to her Bare Marriage podcast episode!

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

We're doing something we've never done before—looking at a Christian fiction book to explore how fiction shapes our theology of marriage. Today we're discussing Francine Rivers' "And the Shofar Blew.” We're talking about how fiction doesn't give explicit advice but still profoundly influences our worldview about faith and marriage, and how even books with problematic messages can become part of our theological foundation without us realizing it.

THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSOR

Order Dorothy Greco's book For the Love of Women which just launched this week!

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Find Sarah McDugal on Facebook
  • Sarah's help for women healing from betrayal trauma: www.wildernesstowild.com
  • For women navigating high-conflict divorce or custody: My Freedom Navigator
  • Find Dr. Merry Lin's book "Rebecoming" and listen in to her Bare Marriage podcast episode!

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

Ever been told you're complaining too much about how women are treated because "things are so much better now"? Yeah, me too. In this episode, I sit down with journalist and author Dorothy Greco to talk about her new book For the Love of Women, and we dig into why sexism is absolutely still alive and well—and how it's affecting all of us in ways we might not even realize. This conversation is going to help you connect the dots, give you language to talk about it, and remind you that no, you're not crazy.

THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSOR

Order Dorothy Greco's book For the Love of Women which just launched this week!

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Dorothy Greco's website
  • Dorothy's Substack: "What's Faith Got to Do With It"
  • The song Not All Men by Morgan St. Jean

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

We're diving into the euphemisms used in Christian marriage books and by evangelical pastors, and when you translate them into actual language, it gets real creepy real fast. From Kevin Leman's "Mr. Happy" to Josh Butler's semen theology, these authors hide harmful messages behind flowery or vague language. When authors tell women to "give him a gift" while she's bleeding heavily or recovering from childbirth, they're actually telling her to perform sex acts while in pain—and that's just wrong. Most disturbing? The euphemisms that hide sexual assault and make it sound normal.

THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSOR

Pre-order Dorothy Greco's book For the Love of Women which launches next week!

Our Courses

  • Check out The Whole Story!, our puberty course for parents/kids
  • Check out our Orgasm Course!

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

OUR BOOKS WE MENTIONED:

  • The Marriage You Want (and the new video series that goes with it!)
  • She Deserves Better

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Fred Stoeker's Focus on the Family interview
  • Josh Howerton and the Shady Little Girls in Miniskirts
  • Our article on Josh Butler's book A Beautiful Union

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

We're celebrating episode 300 with a "Best of Becca" compilation! Rebecca and I react to her most memorable moments from the past six years of podcasting—from rabid raccoons to pooping in the shower to Gerald not being able to slay dragons. We also reflect on how the evangelical landscape has shifted since we started, why we're no longer in "please speak up" mode but in "shake the dust off your feet" territory, and how our focus has evolved from "fix the church" to "help people take radical accountability for their own health and wellbeing.”

ALL NEW Marriage You Want Video Series:

The complete Marriage You Want curriculum, with the paperback, study guide, and now small group video series!

UPCOMING EVENTS:

October 25th: Join Keith and Sheila marriage conference in Oshawa, Ontario

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

TOP 5 PODCASTS OF AL TIME:

  • The Problems with Power of a Praying Wife featuring Sarah McDugal & Gretchen Baskerville
  • The Problems with Every Young Man's Battle featuring Andrew Bauman & Zachary Wagner
  • Groomed for an Abusive Marriage: Alyssa Wakefield's Story
  • How the Authors We Critiqued Responded to The Great Sex Rescue
  • The Uncomfortable Truth about Waiting for Marriage for Sex

SHEILA'S FAVOURITE PODCASTS:

  • The All About Obligation Sex Podcast
  • The Myth of the Magic Penis

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

Does God really tell women they need to submit to abuse and stay in marriages where they're being raped and harmed? Today's interview with Dr. Helen Painter is one you need to hear—whether you're stuck in an abusive marriage getting horrible advice from your pastor, or you know someone who is. We're diving deep into what the Bible actually says about abuse and divorce, and spoiler alert: God does NOT require women to stay in abusive marriages. Please share this episode with anyone who needs to hear this life-saving truth.

CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains detailed discussion of marital rape, sexual abuse, and domestic violence

HELEN PAYNTER'S BOOK:

"The Bible Doesn't Tell Me So", from Helen's organization or from Amazon

UPCOMING EVENTS:

October 25th: Join Keith and Sheila marriage conference in Oshawa, Ontario (near Toronto!)

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Give to the Good Fruit Faith Initiative of the Bosko Foundation
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Naghmeh Panahi's Facebook Post
  • The original recording of the Calvary Chapel pastor (at around 59:35)
  • The Center for the Study of Bible and Violence:
  • Mentioned Scholar: David Instone-Brewer (rabbinical thought on divorce)

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

Two major studies today prove what we've been saying: purity culture makes people unable to recognize marital and date rape as actual rape, and male porn use hurts women regardless of their attitude toward it—though religious women suffer more because of the scripts we've been given. Then I interview Joash Thomas about his book The Justice of Jesus, where he explains how Western Christianity lost biblical justice because colonizers taught a purely "spiritual" gospel to benefit themselves. We've got to understand that following Jesus costs us something!

EVENTS

  • October 4th: Book launch for "The Justice of Jesus”
  • October 25th: Keith and Sheila marriage conference in Oshawa

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • The Justice of Jesus book
  • The study of purity culture and rape myth acceptance
  • The study on how religious women see porn
  • Sheila's list on recommended books on porn recovery
  • For Our Daughters Film

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

It's The Great Sex Rescue--but for parenting!

The Christian parenting industry has been feeding us garbage for decades, and Keith and I sat down with Marissa Burt and Kelsey Kramer McGinnis, authors of "The Myth of Good Christian Parenting," to talk about how we got here.

THE MYTH OF GOOD CHRISTIAN PARENTING

Pre-Order the book now--and claim your amazing pre-order bonuses!

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Instagram: @mburtwrites | @kelseykmcginnis
  • Threads: @mburtwrites | @kelseykmcginnis
  • Facebook: @mburtwrites | @kelsey.kramermcginnis
  • Bluesky: @mburtwrites | @kkramermcginnis
  • TikTok: @mburtwrites | @kelseykmcg
  • Substack: @mburtwrites | @kelseykramermcginnis
  • YouTube: @mburtwrites
  • Website: Marissa
  • My article on spanking and sexual arousal
  • My article on the research on spanking effects
  • The article about those who hid Jews during the Holocaust

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

We all want to raise kids without sexual hang-ups, but a lot of Christian parents are accidentally creating the very problems they're trying to avoid. Rebecca and I dive into the three biggest ways this happens: being way too open about your own sex life with your kids (no, they don't need to know what you and your husband did last night), making a federal case out of normal teenage sexual development like masturbation, and approaching pornography with so much shame and "sin talk" that you actually make the problem worse. But here’s the good news: our course, The Whole Story, will give you the tools and language to appropriately talk about all of these things!

Then Keith joins me to tackle that age-old marriage question about whether wives just need to have more sex to make husbands nicer - spoiler alert: you're asking the wrong question entirely, and obligation sex isn't going to save your marriage.

THE WHOLE STORY COURSE!

Check out our sex and puberty course--it's on sale until Monday September 22 at midnight!

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Our books She Deserves Better, The Great Sex Rescue, and The Marriage You Want

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

We're constantly told that more sex will fix our marriages, but the research tells a completely different story. When couples are simply told to increase frequency without addressing quality, satisfaction, and women's actual experiences, it often backfires and decreases desire altogether. The real predictor of marital happiness isn't how often you're having sex—it's whether that sex is mutually satisfying, intimate, and pleasurable for both people. Unfortunately, evangelical sex advice keeps pushing obligation sex messages that treat women's exhaustion and needs as obstacles to overcome rather than valid concerns. It's time we start asking better questions about what makes sex actually good instead of just demanding more of it.

OUR SPONSOR:

Check out the book Better Ways to Read the Bible--to transform the way you see Scripture, and let it come alive again if it's been used as a weapon against you.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • The Orgasm Course
  • Psychology Today article on sexual frequency and happiness
  • Focus on the Family State of Marriage in America survey
  • The Whole Story puberty course for kids (coupon code: PODCAST)
  • Our reel about the 24 hour rule

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

I brought together three dear friends to have an honest conversation about perimenopause and menopause because so many of you have been asking about it. We shared our real stories and talked about the challenges like brain fog, weight changes, and sexual adjustments, and my dry eyes that nearly drove me crazy! But here's what I want you to know: menopause isn't just about suffering through symptoms. Each of us found our voices during menopause, finally standing up in toxic relationships and getting angry about toxic teachings we’d tolerated for years.

OUR SPONSOR:

Check out the book Better Ways to Read the Bible--to transform the way you see Scripture, and let it come alive again if it's been used as a weapon against you.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • The Orgasm Course
  • Merry Lin's book Rebecoming
  • Merry Lin's LinkTree
  • Merry's Bare Marriage podcast episode with me
  • Kelita Haverland's song The Strong One
  • Rosemary Flaaten's program at The Center for Healthy Relationships
  • The We Do Not Care Club video

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

What do you do when you WANT to love the Bible, but you find yourself feeling defeated, hopeless, unseen? What if all the things you’ve experienced in church and in the wider Christian community have left you feeling adrift when you open Scripture? Zach Lambert’s new book Better Ways to Read the Bible shows us that everything we’ve been taught about the Bible may actually be new ways to read it—that miss the whole point! This encouraging conversation encourages us to get back to seeing the Bible through the lens of Jesus.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Zach Lambert’s book Better Ways to Read the Bible
  • Zach's Substack: Public Theology
  • Social media: @ZackwLambert on all platforms
  • The Whole Story course - Bare Marriage's puberty/sex education course for parents
  • Free book studies for "The Great Sex Rescue" and "She Deserves Better"
  • Restore Austin - Zach's church in Austin, Texas

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

Recently Sheila was on the Three Percent podcast, talking about what healthy marriage looks like. The hosts asked Sheila questions a lot of skeptical men had—so we thought the bigger Bare Marriage universe needed to hear this! Listen in as they play devil’s advocate, and ask the questions so many men have when they hear what we say about libido, about mental load, about porn, and more! Let’s change the convo in a healthy way. And thanks to the Three Percent podcast for letting us share this recording!

CHECK OUT OUR COURSES:

  • The Orgasm Course
  • Boost Your Libido
  • The Whole Story to teach your kids about sex & puberty

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • The 3% Podcast:
  • Our new FREE book studies for She Deserves Better and The Great Sex Rescue

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

Sheila Wray Gregoire interviews Professor Neil, a popular social media creator who critiques toxic masculinity and problematic topics he finds in the manosphere. They discuss how certain Christian pastors and influencers spread harmful messages about gender roles, sex, and marriage that mirror incel ideology. Through reviewing harmful clips from pastors Josh Howerton & Josh McPherson, professor Neil shares his approach to changing minds through facts and research.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

FIND PROFESSOR NEIL:

  • Instagram
  • Tiktok
  • Facebook
  • youTube
  • Substack
  • Main website

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

How do we reach people still in evangelicalism about toxic teachings? I read an amazing book called On Authoritarians by Bob Altemeyer which talks about how people get to be authoritarian, and the nature of authoritarians. And then shows (horrifyingly) how evangelicalism overlaps with authoritarianism! These insights can actually help us learn how to reach people still wading in toxic teachings!

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

BOOKS MENTIONED:

  • The free book The Authoritarians (includes the quizzes you can take to see where you score!)
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's/Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex (great for bridal showers!)

OTHER LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Podcast with Terran Williams
  • Podcast with Marg Mowczko
  • Our toolkit to use to talk to friends/pastors about our findings

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Marriage You Want and the Study Guide
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

In this season finale of the Bare Marriage Podcast, Rebecca, Joanna, Connor, and Josiah discuss the powerful benefits of reading fiction for personal growth, empathy development, and critical thinking. They share their personal journeys back to reading after University & adult life interrupted their childhood love of books, explore scientific research on how fiction affects the brain, and provide practical advice for getting back into reading. The episode concludes with an inspiring poem about women's value and calling by Porsche Vu (The Poetic Activist).

BECOME ONE OF OUR MONTHLY DONORS:

We're aiming for 50 new monthly donors, for even as little as $10 a month! For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation

KEEP UP WITH SHEILA THIS SUMMER:

Join my Substack! It's free.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Porsche Veu on Instagram (The Poetic Activist), and her reel

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

Is sex is a human need within marriage? Let's address the tension between those who see "need" language as potentially coercive and those who feel legitimate sexual desires shouldn't be shamed. Psychological research does classify sex as a human need, but the real issue is how couples can co-create a reality for a mutually satisfying sexual relationship. Rather than pressuring reluctant partners, couples should focus on building marriages where both people genuinely want and enjoy sexual intimacy.

BECOME ONE OF OUR MONTHLY DONORS:

We're aiming for 50 new monthly donors, for even as little as $10 a month! For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation

KEEP UP WITH SHEILA THIS SUMMER:

Join my Substack! It's free.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • "Diamonds are forever and other fairytales" study from 2015
  • Podcast with Beth Allison Barr and Miranda Zapor Cruz that debunked the father influence statistic
  • Check out our Orgasm course and our Boost Your Libido course
  • Download our 12-point rubric and scorecard for healthy sexuality

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

In this episode of the Bare Marriage Podcast, I am talking with Biblical Greek scholar Marg Mowczko about the true meaning of "headship" in the Bible. Marg reveals that the Greek word "kephale" (head) doesn't typically mean "leader" or "authority" in ancient literature, and that no verse actually commands men to lead their wives. Instead, head-body metaphors are used in Scripture to describe unity and mutual care and as a picture of growing into the likeness of Christ for ALL Christians. Together, Marg and I talk about the Biblical evidence of Paul's support for women in ministry roles. We also take a moment to discuss the best Bible versions for more accurate translation in key passages about submission and hierarchy.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED

  • Marg’s website
  • Marg’s patreon
  • Marg’s blog post on the best Bible version
  • Everything on 1 Corinthians 11
  • Everything on Ephesians 5

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

After a recent social media AMA, we noticed a ton of you wanted us to tackle dating - red flags, green flags, how to choose a great partner. Rebecca and I have been avoiding this topic since we both married young and have limited adult dating experience, but we DO have evidence-based research to share. We're addressing why we need to stop telling singles "God is just teaching you patience" (it's a numbers game!), the "Burn the Haystack Method" for online dating, why some might need to relocate for better options, and the hard truths about red flags versus settling. Fair warning: we're going to make some people uncomfortable, but if you want research-backed advice over platitudes, this episode's for you.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED

  • Dr Jennie Young & The Burned Haystack Method
  • Our podcast on why Evangelical Women aren't marrying evangelical men
  • Join my Substack to keep up with us while the blog is on hiatus for June and July

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

“Soul ties” refers to the belief that when you have sex with someone, you are now joined in the spiritual realm, and that “tie” impedes your ability to ever experience freedom if you marry someone else. Often people claim you have to go through a specific prayer to break the tie, or an exorcism. But is this idea biblical? And does it help or hurt? Today Joanna Sawatsky shares our results of believing in soul ties, and we discuss different ways to talk about heartache and trauma.

PRODUCT HIGHLIGHT:

  • Our puberty course The Whole Story
  • Join my Substack!

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED

  • Our book She Deserves Better
  • My series on Soul Ties
  • John Eldredge’s Podcast series on Soul Ties
  • Lisa Bevere Reel with misinformation
  • The domestic violence website with steps from breaking trauma bonds

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

Let's take a close look at the book His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley! Bethany Jantzi and Ngina Otiende join me to look at some of the things that we find problematic about the book--and explain why evangelicalism needs better resources!

RESOURCES:

Get our one-sheet download on His Needs, Her Needs

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

LINKS

  • Find Ngina Otiende on Facebook, Instagram, and at her website Intentional Today
  • Find Bethany Jantzi on Instagram and at her website Free from Control
  • Check out our newest book The Marriage You Want, with stats about what really builds intimacy
  • Download our rubric on how His Needs, Her Needs (and other books!) scored on sex

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

What happens when church doesn’t seem safe? Or when, in retrospect, you realize it wasn’t, even if you threw yourself into it at the time? Today Dr. Andrew Bauman joins us to talk about his new book Safe Church, and then Rebecca and Sheila read reader’s stories about how the church stole their sex lives—and what we can do about it.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

LINKS

  • Andrew Bauman’s book Safe Church
  • Andrew Bauman on Facebook
  • Andrew’s guest post on Safe Church
  • Courses:
    • Our Puberty Course (The Whole Story)
    • Our Orgasm Course
    • Our Libido Course
  • My blog series on sexual recovery
  • Our book The Great Sex Rescue
  • Our book She Deserves Better
  • Our Good Girl’s/Good Guy’s Guides to Great Sex (great for engaged couples)

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

It's time to walk through some super interesting studies that have recently been published--and see what they say about the intersection of infidelity and beliefs in male hierarchy. Keith joins Sheila to react to the studies!

OUR SPONSOR:

Thank you to our sponsor, Zondervan and the book Saving Face. The church needs to get away from harmful tropes, and call us towards true community based on vulnerability and safety. Aimee Byrd points the way!

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • The Marriage You Want
  • Study on how affairs aren't linked to sex frequency, and the post about it
  • Study on how sexism affects infidelity
  • Power to Flirt Study
  • Differences in Solitary vs. Dyadic Sexual Desire study
  • Study on Heroism by Gender
  • The IFS World Map 2019 (abuse stats are on pp. 35&36)
  • John Piper on how complementarianism protects women, and Rachel Held Evans' response

OTHER RESEARCH DEEP DIVE PODCASTS:

  • Pink and Blue Brains? What the research says about gender and brain differences
  • Why Sex Is Like Chef Boyardee
  • New Research on Obligation Sex
  • New Research

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

It's an Ask Me Anything episode! Keith and I open talking about the viral video where a woman claims that she felt called by God to iron her husband's clothes before he left for the weekend to be with his mistress. And then Rebecca and I answer your questions about drawing boundaries, dating, protecting kids from abuse in church, and more!

OUR SPONSOR:

Thank you to our sponsor, Zondervan and the book Saving Face. The church needs to get away from harmful tropes, and call us towards true community based on vulnerability and safety. Aimee Byrd points the way!

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Our book She Deserves Better
  • Our new book The Marriage You Want
  • Last week's podcast on rumination and our one-sheet download for The Love Dare

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

The Love Dare, based on the movie Fireproof, has been a huge best-selling marriage book for two decades. But does it actually contain good advice? Today on episode 280 of the Bare Marriage podcast, we show how The Love Dare simply regurgitates all the typical harmful evangelical marriage advice, telling women to make themselves smaller; never bring up issues; paper over problems; and, of course, never divorce, even if you’re being abused.

OUR SPONSOR:

Thank you to our sponsor, Zondervan and the book Saving Face. The church needs to get away from harmful tropes, and call us towards true community based on vulnerability and safety. Aimee Byrd points the way!

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

LINKS MENTIONED:

  • Our Harmful Materials stickers to put on your problematic books
  • All of our one sheets:
  • Our new book The Marriage You Want
  • Join Sheila on her social media channels: Instagram, YouTube, Threads, Facebook
  • Our podcast on forgiveness after trauma

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

What if vulnerability and authenticity are vital for true community? And what if we can never truly know God, and each other, until we know ourselves? It's episode 279 of the Bare Marriage podcast, featuring Aimee Byrd talking about her new book!

  • Aimee Byrd's Book Saving Face
  • Aimee Byrd's Substack

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED:

  • Our new book The Marriage You Want

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

Al Mohler, president of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, recently did a podcast bemoaning the fact that young women, unlike young men, are giving up on the "creation order" and abandoning marriage. But he distorts the argument, and misses the main problem: Women want to get married, but too many of the men available don't make good partners.

WITH THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR:

Beth Allison Barr's insightful and important new book Becoming the Pastor's Wife: How Marriage Replaced Ordination as a Woman's Path to Ministry. Learn how women got pushed out of ministry positions in favour of marriage, and what we can do about it.

My recent article about Becoming the Pastor's Wife

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED:

  • Our new book The Marriage You Want
  • Al Mohler's "Briefing"
  • The original Wall Street Journal Article: American Women Are Giving up on Marriage
  • European study about fertility and attitude towards household tasks
  • Time study about mothers based on marital status

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

So many evangelical pastors teach that men are rational while women are emotional. But is this true? And if women are more emotionally mature than men, then doesn't that mean that men need to learn from women? Listen in as Keith and Sheila dissect several clips from Josh Howerton, Emerson Eggerichs, Josh McPherson, and Matt Walsh.

WITH THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR:

Beth Allison Barr's insightful and important new book Becoming the Pastor's Wife: How Marriage Replaced Ordination as a Woman's Path to Ministry. Learn how women got pushed out of ministry positions in favour of marriage, and what we can do about it.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED:

  • Our new book The Marriage You Want
  • Open letter to Focus on the Family
  • Our one-sheet download on the problems with Love & Respect
  • Emerson Eggerichs’ sermon dissection and the podcast that goes with it
  • Carolyn Custis James' Maelstrom
  • Josh Howerton clip
  • Matt Walsh post
  • Our podcast on emotions with Becky Castle Miller

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

We know watching porn is wrong--but are romance novels just as bad? We've often heard that comparison made: Sure, guys watch porn, but remember that women read novels! Today Rebecca and I talk about when the comparison may be fair, and when it isn't. And we ask: how should we see romance novels or erotic novels? Listen in and see what you think--as we try to reason it through!

WITH THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR:

Beth Allison Barr's insightful and important new book Becoming the Pastor's Wife: How Marriage Replaced Ordination as a Woman's Path to Ministry. Learn how women got pushed out of ministry positions in favour of marriage, and what we can do about it.

And join Beth Allison Barr and Karen Swallow Prior and me for a FREE webinar TONIGHT, March 27, at 9 pm EST. Registration is FREE.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED:

  • Our new book The Marriage You Want
  • Our puberty course for parents to talk to kids about puberty and sex: The Whole Story
  • Study that Rebecca mentioned about dark romance
  • Study on how reading erotica can change our behaviour

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

What if marriage replaced ordination as a woman's path to ministry? What if we've systematically erased the stories of women ministering in the past, and in so doing silenced women's voices and removed opportunities to serve Jesus? Today Beth Allison Barr joins us to talk about her new book Becoming the Pastor's Wife!

REGISTER FOR OUR FREE WEBINAR
Join Beth Allison Barr, Sheila, and Karen Swallow Prior on Thursday, March 27 at 9 pm for a FREE webinar (recording will be available afterwards if you can't make it live).
Register here

BECOMING THE PASTOR'S WIFE
Find the book here

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

  • Our new book The Marriage You Want (read the Amazon reviews!)
  • Everywhere you can get it
  • Keith's series on The Danvers Statement
  • Our Podcast on the Danvers Statement
  • Beth's original podcast with us about The Making of Biblical Womanhood:

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

The Marriage You Want is LIVE! Our book launched this week, and in this week's podcast we take a broad, investigative look into the state of evangelical marriage publishing, and why there has very little change in the top 10 books in decades. Plus what it means to have SAFE and HEALTHY marriage advice! Come celebrate with us in episode 274 of Bare Marriage!

THE MARRIAGE YOU WANT

  • Order it on Amazon
  • Other places to buy!

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

  • Download our healthy sexuality rubric and see how the bestselling marriage books fared!
  • Our podcast on the 5 faulty premises of Christian books
  • Our analysis of the Christian marriage publishing industry

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

It's episode 273 of the Bare Marriage podcast! We found that certain beliefs are correlated most with emotional immaturity--passive aggressiveness; outbursts of anger; emotional dysregulation. In our research for our book The Marriage You Want, we found that when couples believe the husband should have the tie breaking vote, they score lower on maturity.

Is this because emotionally immature people are drawn to these beliefs? Or do these beliefs hamper maturity? Today we talk about why it's actually both, and what that means for our own personal responsibility.

THE MARRIAGE YOU WANT

  • Order it on Amazon
  • Other non-Amazon links!
  • Send your pre-order receipts to preorder@marriageyouwantbook.com to get our pre-order bonus!

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

  • Download our healthy sexuality rubric and see how the bestselling marriage books fared!
  • Check out our post on why complementarianism is linked to emotional immaturity and toxic church cultures

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

What if the "acts of service" love language is masking something else--the totally unequal division of labor that many couples have, and Gary Chapman ignores? Plus does the "physical touch" love language mask something wrong in the bedroom? ALL NEW BONUS STATS today! Some of them aren't even in the new book!

PREODER THE MARRIAGE YOU WANT

  • Pre-Order on Amazon
  • Get other links to Pre-Order
  • Send in your preorder receipt to preorder@marriageyouwantbook.com

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED

  • Our post about the study showing that the love languages are junk science

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

PREODER THE MARRIAGE YOU WANT

  • Pre-Order on Amazon
  • Get other links to Pre-Order
  • Send in your preorder receipt to preorder@marriageyouwantbook.com

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

Prioritizing your marriage can be tough. How do we spend enough time together? Do we need more date nights? And MOMS—don’t forget to be a wife first and a mom second! But in all this talk, are we missing the bigger point? If we’re functioning as a team, doing life together, then affection will grow. But if you see your kids as threats to your marriage, or think you can connect with a date night when you haven’t been in the trenches together all week, you’re not going to feel close. A new way of thinking about prioritizing your relationship—without the GUILT! Based on new stats from The Marriage You Want! PREODER THE MARRIAGE YOU WANT

  • Pre-Order on Amazon
  • Get other links to Pre-Order
  • Send in your preorder receipt to preorder@marriageyouwantbook.com

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

Ever tried to find a compromise when you’re having an argument—but even the compromise doesn’t seem fair? In today’s podcast we explain why—using what we call The Marriage Hierarchy of Needs. We talk about this in our new book The Marriage You Want! Basically, compromise only works if you both start off on equal footing. But if one of you is already doing more than their fair share, compromise just makes it even more unequal. So let’s talk about foundation vs. frills, how to overcome entitlement, and why unfairness can’t go on forever! PREODER THE MARRIAGE YOU WANT

  • Pre-Order on Amazon
  • Get other links to Pre-Order
  • Send in your preorder receipt to preorder@marriageyouwantbook.com

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

What is the biggest key to a great marriage? Teamwork! Let’s talk about how teamwork is associated with all the good outcomes we want for marriage—better sex; feeling close; resolving conflict—everything! But complementarianism, on the other hand, is associated with all the bad outcomes. Good outcomes and bad outcomes tend to travel together—and complementarianism travels with the bad stuff! Hear about all our new data from our new book The Marriage You Want!

**LINKS

PREODER THE MARRIAGE YOU WANT**

  • Pre-Order on Amazon
  • Get other links to Pre-Order
  • Send in your preorder receipt to preorder@marriageyouwantbook.com

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

  • Reel from BrandonTalksMarriage
  • Our reel on whether women want leaders or someone to take initiative
  • The podcast that reel was based on (Marriage on the Rock)
  • The Gospel Coalition reel about doing “risky” things
  • The original podcast where Cynthia Westfall appeared

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

In our research looking at marital and sexual satisfaction among evangelicals, we’ve found that over and over again our best-selling books, and our megachurch pastors, teach things that are shown to lead to worse outcomes. Why? What’s going on? In today’s podcast we share the faulty premise that is at the heart of evangelical marriage advice, and the four toxic teachings that flow from that false premise. But when we fix that first premise—then our advice can finally get healthy (and Jesus-centered!)

LINKS

  • Pre-Order The Marriage You Want!
  • Pre-Order on Amazon
  • Get other links to Pre-Order
  • Send in your preorder receipt to preorder@marriageyouwantbook.com

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

  • Access our rubric scoring the various best-selling marriage and sex books
  • Our podcast talking about the problems with the “research” supporting Love & Respect
  • Our podcast with the issues with Marriage on the Rock
  • The Voddie Baucham clip
  • Our round up of the issues with the book The Excellent Wife
  • The Jimmy Evans clip
  • The Tim Keller clip
  • The Lisa and Francis Chan clip #1
  • The Lisa and Francis Chan clip #2

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

The idea that men need respect while women need love has been treated as gospel truth in the evangelical world. Best-sellers have been written based on it; it informs almost every marriage sermon. What if it’s not true? Using data from our marriage survey of 7000 people, we show how reality is very different—and what this means for how we should talk about marriage!

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

LINKS

  • Pre-order The Marriage You Want! https://amzn.to/3YQfqMy
  • Send your pre-order receipts to preorder@marriageyouwantbook.com to get our pre-order bonus and an invite to the launch team!

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

  • Take our marriage survey yourself as a date night!
  • Our synopsis of everything wrong with Love & Respect (with other posts and podcasts linked in the bottom)
  • Our open letter to Focus on the Family
  • Jonathan Pokluda clip
  • Female Influencer clip #1
  • Female influencer clip #2
  • Josh and Jana Howerton
  • Josh Howerton “Give him a crown”
  • Steve Gaines’ sermon on respect

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

So many of us got sucked into believing toxic stuff about marriage and sex in the evangelical church! But unless we figured out WHY we believed that, we’re likely to get suckered in again to toxic stuff—just DIFFERENT toxic stuff. So today, Rebecca and I are doing a postmortem, looking at what it is about church that leaves us vulnerable to believing things that are toxic and rather easy to see through. Let’s become critical thinkers, so we don’t get sucked in again!

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

LINKS

  • The Marriage You Want. You can preorder it here!
  • Send your pre-order receipts to: preorder@marriageyouwantbook.com The preorder bonuses and invites to the launch team will be sent out next week.
  • Check out our new plans for 2025, with links to all our social media channels
  • The Great Sex Rescue--the Kindle sale is over but the paperback's on sale!
  • Focus on the Family posts about Jane and John

Support the show

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, social media, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

Our big announcement: We’re peer-reviewed! Our dataset for The Great Sex Rescue has now appeared in the November 2024 Sociology of Religion Journal. So let’s talk about what we found, but also ask: why are evangelicals so quick to dismiss science, but at the same time cling to bad interpretations of data if it suits their agenda? Can we become better critical thinkers?

COMING IN 2025

Pre-Order The Marriage You Want

Join our email list to be notified about the launch team

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

LINKS TO THINGS MENTIONED:

  • Our journal article Sanctified Sexism
  • The Great Sex Rescue (our book using this dataset)
  • Lisa Bevere Reel with misinformation
  • Fact Checking her claims
  • Shaunti Feldhahn claiming Christian researchers can’t be peer reviewed
  • Podcast where we dissected one of Shaunti Feldhahn’s survey questions
  • Dissecting another survey question
  • The One Sheet of the problems with For Women Only
  • Shaunti Feldhahn’s Statement about Us
  • Our statement in response
  • Analysis of Shaunti Fe

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

Advent is normally a time of hopeful expectation. But what does it mean when our hopes have been dashed in the past? Stephanie Duncan Smith shares her stories of miscarriages and losses—as well as great celebrations, and what it means to embrace a life that is really messy. And we look at how we can celebrate the Incarnation by being Jesus’ hands and feet, seeing the work fighting sex trafficking that The Well House is doing. It’s the Christmas season, everyone!

Stocking Stuffers:
Check out our biblical womanhood line of merch, or our Prayer and Tent Pegs lines! They're wonderful with mugs, notebooks, stickers, tshirts and more!

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED

  • Find Even After Everything
  • Donate to The Well House
  • Donate to the work we do! Help us meet our 2025 goals. Get a tax-deductible receipt for donations within the US
  • Or, if you’d rather, join our Patreon and support us that way, while getting access to an exclusive Facebook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

Jimmy Evans started XO Marriage over 30 years ago, and his book Marriage on the Rock became a best-seller. He leads marriage conferences around the country. But for years he also Mark Driscoll on his leadership team. He got his start at Gateway Church under Robert Morris, who has been accused of grooming and sexually abusing a teen girl, starting when she was 12. And more recently audio of Evans’ bullying behavior has dropped. So let’s examine his book Marriage on the Rock—and we’ll find that he stresses one-sided sex as obligation; says dangerous things about abuse; and expects women to shoulder the mental and emotional load for the family.

Our Sponsor:

Ever, AJ: Uniquely crafted vegan leather Bible cases.
These Bible Cases are GORGEOUS and FUNCTIONAL! Use it as a traditional case, or you can also buy purses and wristlets. Makes a great gift too!

Stocking Stuffers:
Check out our biblical womanhood line of merch, or our Prayer and Tent Pegs lines! They're wonderful with mugs, notebooks, stickers, tshirts and more!

LINKS: Get Our One Sheet Download of Marriage on the Rock

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED:

  • The audio of Jimmy Evans’ bullying behavior in the Daystar meeting
  • Evidence of Mark Driscoll being on the leadership team at XO Marriage

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

Ever feel like your body is a stranger to you? Like you’re plagued with insecurity, can’t find peace in your relationships? What if it’s because we’re running away from part of who we are, and we haven’t been able to honor who God made us to be? Christy Bauman, a licensed therapist, noticed in her counseling that her clients often didn’t have a clear identity or were able to articulate who they were. So she invites us on a journey of recovering rites of passage—where we honor sacred moments in our lives, honor our birthright, honor who God made us to be. We honor the good and the bad; we lament what is lost but we celebrate what we’ve achieved. And when we’re able to do these things, we can finally be comfortable in our own skin! Join us for this deep and personal conversation.

OUR SPONSOR:

Ever, AJ: Uniquely crafted vegan leather Bible cases. These Bible Cases are GORGEOUS and FUNCTIONAL! Use it as a traditional case, or you can also buy purses and wristlets. Makes a great gift too!

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

  • Christy Bauman’s book Her Rites
  • Find Christy, her book, and the songs
  • Great Sex Rescue is on for under $10 on Amazon right now! (who knows how long that will last?)
  • Our peer reviewed article in the Sociology of Religion journal

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

Gisele Pelicot famously said that "shame must switch sides"--and I think that applies to the evangelical church! Over and over again over the last few years ,when male teachers have presented a pornified view of sex and women have said "no", women have been accused of being prudes. But it is okay to reject objectification. A close look at Josh Butler, Gary Thomas coercing women into sending nude photos, and more--all of whom called us ashamed of sex for saying no.

SPECIAL: The Great Sex Rescue is on major sale on Amazon right now! Get it here

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED:

  • Ngina Otiende’s initial article about Gary Thomas
  • Our review of Gary Thomas’ book Married Sex
  • My original article about how Married Sex coerces nude photos
  • Our podcast where we talked about Gisele Pelicot
  • The Male Centric Sex podcast
  • Theology in the Raw episode with Josh Butler
  • Brett McCracken about Josh Butler
  • Twitter thread with Gary Thomas
  • Juli Slattery’s article quoting me

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

Do you find yourself in constant power struggles with your kids? Do you feel like your kids too often set the terms of their cooperation? Or are you worried that you are too hard and demanding on them?

Well today I talk with Wendy Snyder, a positive parenting coach, as we get into the nitty gritty of how to find that balance between being authoritarian and overly permissive. Cut the drama, cut the power struggles, and learn how to thrive as a family!

SIGN UP for our FREE Parenting Webinar with Wendy! The Compassionate Discipline Workshop, Tuesday November 19 at 1 pm EST!

THINGS MENTIONED

  • Wendy's Website, Fresh Start Family
  • Find Wendy on Instagram
  • Listen to our last podcast with Wendy, Parenting without Yelling

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

Why are writers for The Gospel Coalition coming after the dad in the cartoon series Bluey? He’s an involved dad who loves his kids. Why are they so offended? Rick Pidcock joins Rebecca and Connor Lindenbach for a deep dive—and then Rebecca and Connor talk more about our anemic view of fatherhood.

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

Things Mentioned

  • Rick Pidcock’s article about coming after Bluey
  • Jeremy Pryor’s article about Bluey turning fathers into mothers
  • Rick Pidcock's blog

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

Christa Brown was sexually assaulted dozens of times by her youth pastor when she was 15. She was made to repent and apologize to his wife. The pastor just got moved around from church to church for decades. When Christa’s daughter reached the same age Christa was when she was assaulted, she went public—and started the movement to push the SBC towards accountability for the sexual abuse crisis in their midst. She’s written a memoir called BaptistLand, and today we talk about Christa’s fight—and how SBC megachurch pastors today are still demonizing “little girls” rather than holding men accountable.

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST: Pick up our Great Sex Rescue Tookit—to help start important conversations to those close to you

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

IMPORTANT LINKS:

  • Christa Brown’s book BaptistLand
  • Christa on Twitter
  • Christa on Substack
  • Read the Guideposts report
  • The original Houston Chronicle article
  • News article about the amicus brief filed by SBC entities AGAINST a sexual assault victim
  • Josh Howerton sermon clip
  • See the documentary For Our Daughters
  • Follow the Sons of Patriarchy podcast about Doug Wilson on Spotify

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

Talking to your kids about sex & puberty is awkward! And over the years the church has made some big mistakes. Today we talk about how to avoid the biggest ones--and some encouragement for how to do this with as little awkwardness as possible.

OUR SEX AND PUBERTY COURSE:

Check out our revamped version of The Whole Story--our sex and puberty course for parents to share with kids. It's video-based, and it makes covering all the info much easier. It's on sale until Monday, October 28 at midnight.

TO SUPPORT US:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED:

  • Our book She Deserves Better

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

We aren’t going to fix the abuse crisis in the church until we deal with the underlying beliefs that actually enable abuse. Today Kristin Kobes Du Mez joins us to talk about her new documentary For Our Daughters, which shows how beliefs about gender, power and politics that are rampant in the church actually contribute to abuse. And Pastor Trey Ferguson joins us to comment on a recent article he wrote explaining how evangelicalism’s views of sex, which ignore intimacy, contribute to abuse too.

OUR SPONSOR:

Dr. Camden’s wonderful new book Recovering from Purity Culture launches this week! Learn the 5 myths of purity culture, how they affected you, and best of all—how to heal from them. Highly practical and insightful!

Plus Sheila wrote the foreword!

https://drcamden.com/book/

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED:

  • Check out our Hazardous Materials stickers to go on your books!
  • Kristin’s documentary For Our Daughters
  • The website for the film
  • Jesus and John Wayne
  • Pastor Trey’s article on Reframing Sex
  • Trey Ferguson’s Online Church
  • Trey Ferguson’s book Theologizin’ Bigger
  • Andy Savage’s bio on his new church’s website
  • My video about Andy Savage not returning to ministry

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Send us a text

We know purity culture hurt so many of us. But how do we actually move on and recover from purity culture? Today Dr. Camden Morgante joins us to look at the 5 myths of purity culture, and how to heal and get to the other side!

OUR FREE WEBINAR!

Join Rebecca and me as we host Camden for a FREE webinar looking more into these myths, where we find them, and where we go from here! It'll be a super fun hour with some prizes, games, and lots of inside scoop!

Monday, October 14, 8 pm EST. Sign up here

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST:

  • Dr. Camden's book Recovering from Purity Culture
  • Get Dr. Camden's pre-order bonuses!
  • Follow Dr. Camden online
  • Find Dr. Camden on Instagram

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Ever heard the stat from “a recent study” that found that, when a husband comes to Christ first, in 93% of cases the wife and kids follow, but when the wife comes to Christ first, it’s only 17%? That stat is EVERYWHERE, quoted by the head of the SBC; heads of seminaries; heads of counseling organizations. The problem? No one ever cites the original source. So today Beth Allison Barr and Miranda Zapor Cruz, both academics looking into gender relations in church, join me to try to track down the source. And spoiler alert: People seem to have made this up about 30 years ago—and they keep quoting it! We look at why this matters, and what happens when churches assume this stat is true.

OUR SPONSOR

Ever, AJ: Uniquely crafted vegan leather Bible cases. These Bible Cases are GORGEOUS and FUNCTIONAL! Use it as a traditional case, or you can also buy purses and wristlets. Makes a great gift too!

THINGS MENTIONED:

  • Miranda Zapor Cruz’ article for MissioAlliance: The Myth of the 93%
  • Julie Roys’ podcast talking with Amanda Cunningham
  • Tim Clinton Clip
  • Danny Akin citing the “stat”
  • Josh Howerton clip (around 20:15)
  • J.D. Greear clip
  • The Baptist Press article
  • The Orthodox Barbie clip
  • The Christ Church of the Valley handbook with the “stat”
  • Matt Chandler saying he preaches to men: (around 36-37 minutes)

ABOUT MIRANDA ZAPOR CRUZ:

  • Find Miranda Zapor Cruz on Facebook
  • Order her book Faithful Politics

ABOUT BETH ALLISON BARR:

  • Find Beth Allison Barr on Threads
  • Pre-order Becoming the Pastor’s Wife
  • Our podcast on The Making of Biblical Womanhood

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

We're all about healthy advice for marriage and sex. But what if evangelical teachings around parenting have also been messed up? And how can we parent in a healthy way? David and Amanda Erickson join us to talk about their new book The Flourishing Family, based on Scripture, brain science, attachment theory, and more. THIS is how we should parent!

OUR SPONSOR

Ever, AJ: Uniquely crafted vegan leather Bible cases. These Bible Cases are GORGEOUS and FUNCTIONAL! Use it as a traditional case, or you can also buy purses and wristlets. Makes a great gift too!

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

  • The Flourishing Family
  • Follow David and Amanda on Instagram
  • Follow them on Facebook
  • The clip of the Baptist pastor talking about spanking
  • Our post where we look at the research about spanking
  • Pre-Order The Marriage You Want (our new book coming in March!)

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

The evangelical world has an orgasm gap of 47 points between husbands and wives. Only 48% of women orgasm almost always or always, and 33% orgasm never or rarely.

The good news is that if you're in that 33%--you can still get to the 48%!

Today Rebecca and I look back at all the other episodes we've talked about orgasms, and have a great time discussing how we can learn to help couples prioritize her pleasure!

THE ORGASM COURSE

It's on sale until Monday, September 23 at midnight! When you purchase the regular course, you'll get the men's version added for free!

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • Episode 74: You're Not Broken if Orgasm Is Elusive
  • Episode 92: All about Orgasms
  • Episode 129: Where Emerson Eggerichs Ignores Marital Rape (and doesn't understand women's arousal)
  • Episode 222: How Sex Is Like Chef Boyardee
  • Episode 168: The Myth of the Magic Penis

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

We know it’s not all men who are predators. But it’s far too many. And a recent horrible court case in France is reminding women all over the world that far too many men are willing and eager to do the unthinkable. The only way to tell who is safe is to look at their words and their actions. And the words of far too many evangelical leaders and authors and pastors are straight up rape culture. After what happened to Gisele Pelicot, I’m not willing to put up with it anymore. No more Every Man’s Battle rape culture mindset in the church!

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

LINKS

Our Sponsor:

Rebecoming: Come Out of Hiding to Live as Your God-Given Essential Self.
This amazing book is one of the best I’ve read to explain basic counseling concepts, and gives you practical exercises to work through as you try to get unstuck. Highly recommend!

Things Mentioned

  • The 7 Point Evangelical Confession of 2024
  • Josh Howerton’s sermon clip
  • A synopsis of the horrible ordeal of Gisele Pelicot
  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • The Great Sex Rescue Toolkit
  • The Every Man’s Battle one sheet download
  • Coinswallow's post on Instagram

Check out Sheila's books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

It’s a complete therapy session—in one book and one podcast! Dr. Merry Lin joins us to explain why we so often feel stuck—and how to move forward. If you’ve been confused by terms like trauma, attachment theory, the Stone Age brain, and more, Dr. Merry Lin joins us for a primer that can help us get unstuck—and rebecome who we were meant to be!

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

HELP US OUT AFTER THE HACKING!

  • Please follow OUR NEW FACEBOOK PAGE
  • If you see a Facebook page called Endlessly Stories with weird images—that is our old page. Please report it!

About Dr. Merry Lin:

  • See her book Rebecoming
  • Find Dr. Merry’s website
  • Find Dr. Merry on Instagram

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST:

  • The Orgasm Course
  • Self Awareness Test

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

What does it look like to actually grow like Christ? Like, not from a sermon, or not from some lofty retreat, but just in the here and now? Can we actually grow “holier”? A beautiful conversation with Karen Stiller, author of the book Holiness Here. We tackle envy, joy, contentment—and even grief, as she shares about processing the death of her husband.

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

HELP US OUT AFTER THE HACKING!

  • Please follow OUR NEW FACEBOOK PAGE
  • If you see a Facebook page called Endlessly Stories with weird images—that is our old page. Please report it!

ABOUT KAREN

  • Find Karen’s book Holiness Here
  • Find the article Karen wrote about grief

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST:

  • The post I wrote for Karen about what churches need today
  • Join the Bare Marriage cruise, February 2025!
  • The Orgasm Course
  • We're in the midst of revamping The Whole Story, our sex and puberty course! If you purchase it now you can still work through it, and then you'll have access to the new one when it's out in two months.
  • See Keith and me speak at a marriage conference in Lead, South Dakota, September 27 & 28

Check out Sheila's books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Sheila and Rebecca are answering your questions today! We covered how to find a new church when you feel like church has let you down; how to start your sex life well; what to do when people don’t think purity culture was harmful; and so much more! And we throw data and nuance into the mix too.

HELP US OUT AFTER THE HACKING!

  • Please follow OUR NEW FACEBOOK PAGE
  • If you see a Facebook page called Endlessly Stories with weird images—that is our old page. Please report it!

OUR SPONSOR

It's the Bible that lets girls see themselves in the story! The Kingdom Girls Bible from Zonderkidz--with profiles of all the women in the Bible (including many you may not have heard of!). It's an awesome Bible for girls 8-12--or for you too!

TO SUPPORT US

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!
  • Join our email list!

LINKS

  • Download our rubric and scorecard for the problematic books
  • Check out our Toolkit with handouts on all the toxic teachings, and more
  • The Good Girl’s/Good Guy’s Guides to Great Sex (make them the engagement gifts!)
  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • My Instagram Channel where all the questions came from
  • Last week’s podcast on authoritarian control
  • Podcast from a Pelvic Floor Physiotherapist

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

And her FACEBOOK PAGE has been HACKED--so please join the new official one!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

What if you discovered that marriage books like The Excellent Wife actually follows Steve Hassan's BITE model of cult indoctrination? And what if these marriage books were giving advice that mirrored coercive control?

Bare Marriage podcast, episode 246, featuring Bethany Jantzi. Bethany did her thesis on coercive control, and today she shows us how these books use methods like: diminishing/devaluing personhood; undermining autonomy; creating psychological dependency; using a fear-based system of control; suppressing critical thinking; and conditioning compliance. And all of those things factor into abuse rates and coercive control. And we can do better than this!

OUR SPONSOR:

It's the Bible that lets girls see themselves in the story! The Kingdom Girls Bible from Zonderkidz--with profiles of all the women in the Bible (including many you may not have heard of!). It's an awesome Bible for girls 8-12--or for you too!

TO SUPPORT US:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work

For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation

And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

FIND BETHANY:
Free From Control on Instagram
Bethany's website: Free From Control

THINGS MENTIONED:

How God Sees Women by Terran Williams
Marg Mowczko on Bible Interpretations
Our Series on the Danvers Statement

Timestamps

0.11 Intro

11.30 Complimentarianism

18.24 God Knows Best

31.50 Control and Domination

40.10 Wife as a Training Ground

59.30 Are We Under Undue Influence

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace sells like hotcakes in biblical counseling/ fundamentalist/ homeschooling circles, and even though it seems like a “fringe” book, it’s affecting tens of thousands of women. Today Marissa Burt and Tia Levings and I sit down to talk about the problems with this book that tells women they must obey their husbands and submit—no matter what.

Our Sponsor:

It's the Bible that lets girls see themselves in the story! The Kingdom Girls Bible from Zonderkidz--with profiles of all the women in the Bible (including many you may not have heard of!). It's an awesome Bible for girls 8-12--or for you too!
To Support Us:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

  • Download our Onesheet on The Excellent Wife
  • Our podcast on how Emerson Eggerichs misuses Scripture in Love & Respect
  • Marissa’s post on 10 reasons parents have a hard time giving up spanking
  • 4 Concerns with Biblical Counseling

About Tia Levings:

  • Tia’s book, The Well-Trained Wife
  • Find Tia on Instagram and Substack (as The Anti-Fundamentalist)
  • Listen to last week’s podcast with Tia

About Marissa Burt:

  • Find Marissa on Instagram and X
  • Read Marissa’s Substack

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

She went to a flagship SBC church. She wasn’t supposed to get sucked into fundamentalism. But Tia ended up being stuck in an abusive marriage, trying to fix things by following advice from Gothard and more. It made her sick. It made her hopeless. But finally she realized, no one else is going to rescue us. I have to do this for me and the kids. And she did. Her story is riveting, touching, and relevant. Listen to a Well-Trained Wife!

Our Sponsor:

It's the Bible that lets girls see themselves in the story! The Kingdom Girls Bible from Zonderkidz--with profiles of all the women in the Bible (including many you may not have heard of!). It's an awesome Bible for girls 8-12--or for you too!
To Support Us:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

About Tia Levings:

  • Tia’s book, The Well-Trained Wife
  • Find Tia on Instagram and Substack (as The Anti-Fundamentalist)

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

  • Tia's reel on Fundie Baby Voice
  • The Dallas area pastors who have had to resign

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

The evangelical church spends a lot of time giving modesty messages to girls. But we hardly ever talk about vanity--even though the Bible condemns it. Could it be that in all our talk about modesty, we're inadvertently promoting vanity? And perhaps we can't call out vanity, because our messages to boys essentially enable vanity. Join Rebecca and Sheila as we hash this one out!

With thanks to our sponsor:If church was your place of deepest hurt, can you find peace and healing with Christ? Check out Ryan George's bookHurt and Healed by the Church

To Support Us:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

  • Our book She Deserves Better
  • The Instagram channel HerCherch with all the cartoons
  • Our Orgasm Course and Libido Course
  • Our podcast looking at the long-term effects of the modesty message
  • Why is Dannah Gresh calling 8-year-old bellies intoxicating?
  • Our one-sheet on Lies Young Women Believe
  • The reel from Our Savior's Church
  • The side-by-side plagiarized apology from Josh Howerton

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Ever heard people say, "The Bible is crystal clear" or "if you don't believe that, you don't believe the Bible?" Quite often people equate their interpretation of the Bible with the Bible itself--with bad results. Today Scott Coley joins us to talk about his new book Ministers of Propaganda, and to look at how many evangelical leaders have used logical fallacies to keep themselves at the top of the power hierarchy. Plus let's look at how to get back to the way of Jesus!

With thanks to our sponsor:If church was your place of deepest hurt, can you find peace and healing with Christ? Check out Ryan George's bookHurt and Healed by the Church

To Support Us:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

  • Find Scott Coley's book Ministers of Propaganda
  • Find Scott on X
  • Check out The Great Sex Rescue Toolkit

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

What if the church hurt you terribly? Can you still heal? Today Ryan George joins us to talk about how his fundamentalist family covers up his father’s sexual abuse of others—and how Ryan eventually learned the truth and turned his father in. And then Ryan deconstructed so much of what he had been taught—and found the real Jesus. Join us as Ryan George talks about his book Hurt and Healed by the Church.

About Ryan's Book

  • Ryan’s book Hurt and Healed by the Church
  • Find all of Ryan's books

To Support Us:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

What happens when your family gets sucked into fundamentalism, and your father insists on controlling your life, including who you will marry? You grow up under Christian patriarchy, and you experience serious emotional abuse. Today Cait West joins us to talk about her absolutely beautiful memoir Rift, about how and why she had to break free. Then Keith and I talk about why people are deconstructing, and why it’s so desperately important to listen to stories like Cait’s.

About Cait West:

Find Cait’s book Rift

Find Cait on Twitter and Threads

To Support Us:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

Our post on 8 things to know about deconstruction

Our book The Great Sex Rescue

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

People who deconstruct are often accused of never believing in the first place, or of just wanting to sin. But those who deconstruct are often those who have been hurt the most by toxic teachings. Today Sarah McCammon joins us to talk about who are “ex-vangelicals”, and her own story of deconstruction. And then Keith and I talk about what it means to create a safe and just community that honors people’s fears, betrayals, and concerns.

About Sarah McCammon:

  • Find Sarah's book The Exvangelicals on Amazon
  • Follow Sarah on Substack

To Support Us:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in this Podcast:

  • Our book She Deserves Better
  • The Great Sex Rescue Toolkit to help people understand why certain teachings hurt people
  • Marg Mowczko's site analyzing the biblical passages pertaining to women
  • The saga of Robert Morris’ abuse, from Dee at Wartburg Watch who broke the story
  • Larry Linn’s Twitter thread about righteousness

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Why is a frequenty-used book in teen girls' Bible studies focusing on Satan and not Jesus?

A deep dive into the book Lies Young Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth and Dannah Gresh. Let's see what is being taught to teen girls--and why it's so problematic. We can do better, church!

Get our Downloadable One Sheet of the problems with the book Lies Young Women Believe:

Thanks to our sponsor, the book The Sex Talk You Never Got by Sam Jolman

And listen to our interview with Sam about the book!

To Support Us:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in this Podcast:

  • Our podcasts about the book Lies Women Believe: Part 1 and its treatment of abuse and Part 2 and its portrayal of God
  • Our downloadable onesheet about Lies Women Believe
  • Our book She Deserves Better
  • Our podcast going over the problems with how Dannah Gresh teaches about modesty
  • Why do women support modesty messages?
  • Dannah Gresh's submission quiz

About Johnna Harris

  • Follow her on Instagram and X, and find her podcast Bodies Behind the Bus

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Every Father’s Day, there’s a rallying cry in many conservative evangelical spaces that men are losing out and fathers are under attack. Where’s the truth in this? And what are the problems with talking about marriage like this? Plus we rewrite Harrison Butker’s commencement speech!

Thanks to our sponsor, the book The Sex Talk You Never Got by Sam Jolman

And listen to our interview with Sam about the book!

To Support Us:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in this Podcast:

  • Focus on the Family Broadcast, Finding the Hero in Your Husband (Part 1)
  • Harrison Butker Speech and Transcript
  • Our Bare Marriage podcast on the idea that women talk too much (put forward by Focus on the Family under James Dobson)
  • My post from last Father’s Day about framing your husband as the hero

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

What if purity culture didn’t just steal sexual health from women, but stole it from men too? What does it mean for a man to have healthy sexuality? Today licensed counselor Sam Jolman joins us for The Sex Talk You Never Got.

To Support Us:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

  • The Sex Talk You Never Got by Sam Jolman:
  • Find Sam on Instagram
  • Sam's website, where you can sign up for his Substack
  • The Boost Your Libido Course

All about New River Fellowship Church:

  • New River Fellowship
  • Facebook
  • Instagram

Pastor Joey Willis, Lead Pastor at New River Fellowship in Hudson Oaks, Texas.

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Evangelical conservatives too often portray masculinity as if men are supposed to be the “Alpha male”—aloof, emotionless, vying for control, and bullying. Today we look at how, even in nature, this concept of the Alpha Male has been overblown. And we present a better picture.

To Support Us:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things mentioned in the podcast:

  • Let Men Be Men podcasts, and Let Men Be Dads
  • Josh Howerton about Evangelical Honeymoons
  • The Desiring God article where Greg Morse bemoans all the safe men
  • The TED Talk from Frans de Waal about Alpha Males
  • Rick Pidcock analyses the Stronger Men’s Conference with Mark Driscoll’s “Jezebel” outburst
  • This week’s article on turning the other cheek

All about New River Fellowship Church

  • New River Fellowship
  • Facebook
  • Instagram

Pastor Joey Willis, Lead Pastor at New River Fellowship in Hudson Oaks, Texas.

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Today we have some special guests on, the lovely ladies from Pastors’ Wives Tell All! This is not the first time I’ve been on a podcast with them, but usually it’s theirs. So this time they are joining me on my show to discuss the topic of their upcoming book, Pastor’s Wives Tell All: Navigating real church life with honesty and humour. And surprise surprise, the topic is right in the title. Or the subtitle to be exact. So that’s what we are talking about today, and with people who deal with the ins and outs of church life on a daily basis.

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

To Support Us:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Pastors’ Wives Tell All:

  • Preorder their new book Pastors’ Wives Tell All: Navigating Real Church Life With Honesty and Humour
  • Find their Podcast on their site

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

With the release of so many books critiquing purity culture, what has the backlash been like? Well, let’s talk about it with Zachary Wagner, the author of Non-Toxic Masculinity as we celebrate the one-year anniversary of the launch of She Deserves Better.

To Support Us:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

About Zachary Wagner:

  • Find Zachary's book Non-Toxic Masculinity
  • Find Zachary on Instagram

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

  • Our book She Deserves Better!
  • Zachary's response to the review from Shane Morris on The Gospel Coalition
  • Bob and Dannah Gresh's appearance at Cedarville University
  • Information about Dannah calling 8-year-old's bellies intoxicating
  • Fred Stoeker's appearance on Focus on the Family
  • Matthew West's podcast discussing Modest is Hottest

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

We've got such a compelling interview with Lauren Rose from Called to Peace Ministries. She's telling her story--and it's a mesmerizing one--of what happened as her family got more and more into the Bill Gothard movement (and she was eventually one of the ones he allegedly abused, and was part of the lawsuit).

But when you grow up feeling like your main role is to submit, are you even able to recognize abuse?

Lauren tells her story of being in an abusive marriage, and how she eventually realized something was wrong and came out of it.

(Also: at the beginning I quoted a Bible passage and said Matthew 18. I meant Matthew 15. Sorry!)

Our Sponsor:The Kingdom Girls NIV Bible. Meet the women in God's story! Designed for girls, but honestly--it's awesome for every woman! And it makes a great Easter gift. The Bible includes beautiful photos and write-ups on every woman who is mentioned in Scripture. Finally, a Bible that highlights God's story for women. View a sample of the Bible here!

To Support Us:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

About Lauren Rose and Called to Peace:

  • Called to Peace Ministries
  • Find Called to Peace on Facebook, including my interview on how Sexual Coercion is Domestic Abuse

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

  • Our podcast with another Gothard Survivor, Emily Elizabeth
  • Our interview with Alyssa Wakefield, who grew up in a Gothard home and was groomed for abuse (Part 1, and Part 2).
  • Our podcast episode 229 with Jay Stringer about Josh Howerton's wedding night advice
  • My Twitter thread about Josh Howerton's "apology"
  • The original thread that went viral, as well as a

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

When we talk about how God made sex to be mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both, and how, if women don't want sex, the answer is to figure out why, we invariably get people saying, "so you think women don't have to have sex then?"

Today on the podcast we look at the 90% problem vs. the 10% problem. In 90% of cases where women don't want sex, there's a reason. Let's focus mostly on the 90%! But guess what? We actually talk about the 10% too!

Our Sponsor:The book Forgiveness After Trauma. A victim-centered approach to what forgiveness looks like after betrayal. Rather than pressuring a victim to forgive, let's examine what Scripture says about lament, anger, accountability, and what reconciliation looks like. I was so, so blown away by this book, and saw things in Scripture I never saw before. Check out Susannah Griffith's story, and this amazing book.

To Support Us:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

The Products We Mentioned:

  • Our book The Great Sex Rescue
  • The Orgasm Course
  • The Boost Your Libido Course

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

  • Our podcast on obligation sex, and the post that goes along with it
  • The podcast where we discuss Emerson Eggerichs saying you can't tell if a woman is aroused--and a follow-up podcast going into more detail on how evangelical writers portray female orgasm
  • More podcasts on libido: 3 ways to talk about libido differences, and have we made sex into a yes space for men?

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Recently Texas SBC megachurch pastor Josh Howerton told brides that on the wedding night, they should "stand where he wants you to stand, wear what he wants you to wear, and do what he wants you to do." Sex was presented as something that HE has been waiting for his whole life, and that she has to provide. There was no emphasis on how she actually has greater need to be cared for sexually, if you're going to begin well, than he does. Jay Stringer joins us today to talk about how the conversation around sex often leads to couples starting off badly--and also allows men to not have to grow up or do the work of being mature, emotionally healthy people.

Our Sponsor:The book Forgiveness After Trauma. A victim-centered approach to what forgiveness looks like after betrayal. Rather than pressuring a victim to forgive, let's examine what Scripture says about lament, anger, accountability, and what reconciliation looks like. I was so, so blown away by this book, and saw things in Scripture I never saw before. Check out Susannah Griffith's story, and this amazing book.

To Support Us:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

About Jay Stringer:

  • Check out Jay's book Unwanted
  • Find Jay on Instagram
  • Learn more about the upcoming Sexual Attachment Conference

Links We Mentioned:

  • Jay's first podcast with us on his book Unwanted
  • Our book The Great Sex Rescue, with the stats on vaginismus and sexual pain
  • Our books for engaged couples, The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex
  • Our podcast looking at Josh and Jana's Howerton's sex talk
  • The podcast showing how Josh Howerton plagiarizes in his sermons
  • The Orgasm Course
  • The Marriage Night at Lakepointe Church Howerton was referring to
  • The study on the effects of orgasm the first time you have sex

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Forgiveness is so often weaponized against victims in the church. But what does the Bible really say about forgiveness, especially when trauma is involved? How can we value our own mental health but also follow Jesus? This is a fascinating and healing conversation with Susannah Griffith, author of Forgiveness After Trauma.

Our Sponsor:The Kingdom Girls NIV Bible. Meet the women in God's story! Designed for girls, but honestly--it's awesome for every woman! And it makes a great Easter gift. The Bible includes beautiful photos and write-ups on every woman who is mentioned in Scripture. Finally, a Bible that highlights God's story for women. View a sample of the Bible here!

To Support Us:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Links We Mentioned:

  • Susannah Griffith’s book Forgiveness After Trauma
  • Find Susannah at her website

Future Speaking Events:
Belleville, ON:
St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! March 23, 2:30-4:30 pm. Q&A, crafts with toxic books, and more.
More information here.

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Natalie Hoffman joins us today to talk about her INCREDIBLE memoir All the Scary Little Gods. Natalie escaped an abusive marriage, and now coaches other women in similar situations. In her memoir, she invites us to listen to the story from the point of view of Little Natalie, and using IFS (Internal Family Systems) to see it from all of her parts. And as we understand our stories, we make it so that we won't recreate the problems.

To Support Us:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Links We Mentioned:

  • Natalie Hoffman’s book All the Scary Little Gods
  • Natalie’s website Flying Free, and her Flying Free podcast
  • The first podcast Natalie did with me–how Christian books made me stay in an abusive marriage
  • Natalie joined us on our podcast about the book Lies Women Believe
  • Richard Schwartz' book No Bad Parts
  • Jenna Riemersma's book on IFS Altogether You

Future Speaking Events:
Belleville, ON:
St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! March 23, 2:30-4:30 pm. Q&A, crafts with toxic books, and more.
More information here.

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

So many people resist admitting that they are actually egalitarians, because they think they have to be complementarian--even if they don't act like it. Today Sheila and her husband Keith dissect the arguments that are often used to say "we're really complementarian"--even when they're objectively not. And we invite people instead to preach what they practice.

To Support Us:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • For tax deductible donations in the U.S., support Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

  • The Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood's statement
  • Our podcast with Nancy Pearcey where we explain how complementarians act as egalitarians
  • The interview with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth and Robert Wolgemuth
  • The Great Sex Rescue, with our findings about decision-making
  • Rebecca Groothuis' article about equality
  • Jonathan Leeman's article (and video) about a husband's authority

Resources about the Biblical Argument for Equality:

  • Marg Mowczko's site--amazing short articles on virtually every bible passage about gender.
  • Our podcast with Philip Payne, and his book The Bible vs. Biblical Womanhood
  • Terran Williams' book How God Sees Women
  • Terran Williams' series refuting Mike Winger's videos
  • Julie Zine Coleman's book On Purpose

Future Speaking Events:
Grand Rapids, MI:
Sheila and Rebecca will be at Calvin University on March 13 and 14 . March 13 at 4:30; March 13 at 7 pm for a panel discussion; and March 14 at 7 pm. More details here.

Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! March 23, 2:30-4:30 pm. Q&A, crafts with toxic books, and more.

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

The Great Sex Rescue turns 3 this week! And it's been a super eventful three years. So much has changed. So let's talk about the feedback we've had, what we've done since, what people are saying--and where we're going from here.

To Support Us:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch at our store, or any of our courses!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

  • The Great Sex Rescue! Learn more, or get it right from Amazon.
  • Our Healthy Sexuality Rubric where we scored the books we looked at for The Great Sex Rescue.
  • The Great Sex Rescue Toolkit to tell others about our findings
  • Our podcast where we discussed how the authors we critiqued had responded to The Great Sex Rescue.
  • The article on Julie Roys' site about Focus on the Family deleting comments on the Reel where Juli Slattery used our talking points.
  • Juli Slattery's reel on Focus on the Family's Instagram page
  • The Bodies Behind the Bus podcast where Joy tells her story about The Great Sex Rescue (we're near the end) (and here's part 2!)

Future Speaking Events:
Grand Rapids, MI:
Sheila and Rebecca will be at Calvin University on March 13 and 14 . March 13 at 4:30; March 13 at 7 pm for a panel discussion; and March 14 at 7 pm. More details here.

Belleville, ON: St. Thomas Anglican Church in Belleville, Ontario is throwing a party for us to celebrate The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better! We'll have blackout poetry crafts and other paper crafts to do with toxic books (bring them along!), a silent auction, a Q&A, and more. March 23, 2:30 - 5:00 pm. All welcome.

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Would our reaction to Christian marriage advice change if we realize how many people who write that advice are actually in abusive or destructive marriages? What if people in those marriages are more drawn to write marriage advice to process how they're feeling?

Today we look at two different women that Focus on the Family have held up to be emulated. One is a woman who has written prolifically for them, and when you look at her articles and what she reveals about her relationship, a TON of red flags are present. The other is a woman whose husband was jailed for domestic violence, but then she prayed, he repented, and now they lead Love & Respect seminars together. And Focus on the Family thinks this is a positive message.

Today Sheila Gregoire is joined by her husband Keith and by abuse educator Sarah McDugal.

To Support Us:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch at our store!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

  • The article in the Revealer about Elisabeth Elliot's marriage
  • My article detailing Focus on the Family's Facebook post praising the man who was jailed for domestic violence, as well as the letter I sent to Jim Daly
  • My article on TradWife influencers and my concern for them
  • Our podcast on Power of a Praying Wife
  • Our one sheet download on Love & Respect
  • Focus on the Family's article "It's the Little Things"
  • Our Open Letter to Focus on the Family

Find Sarah McDugal:

  • Follow Sarah on Facebook
  • Find her at Wilderness to Wild

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Lies Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth taught concerning things about shame, trauma, and even what God is like. On today's podcast, we're joined by Becky Castle Miller, a doctoral student looking at emotions in the Bible, and Helen Blake, a licensed counselor in Sydney, Australia, to discuss some of the damaging teachings--and point us to a Jesus who understands and sympathizes with our struggles.

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

To Support Us:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
  • Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation
  • And check out our Merch at our store!

Our Downloadable Onesheet:
Download our One Sheet on Lies Women Believe, looking at the problems with the book

Other Things We Talked About:

  • Last week's podcast on Part 1 of Lies Women Believe
  • Find Becky Castle Miller on Instagram
  • Scot McKnight's book King Jesus Gospel

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Lies Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth is one of the most popular women’s bible study books used in churches across North America. But what does the book actually teach about marriage? About sex? About divorce and abuse? It’s scary, and today Gretchen Baskerville and Natalie Hoffman join host Sheila Wray Gregoire to analyze the harmful messages in Lies Women Believe.

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

To Support Us:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work
Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation

Our Downloadable Onesheet:
Download our One Sheet on Lies Women Believe:

Natalie Hoffman's Information:
Natalie’s Podcast Flying Free, and her website
Natalie Hoffman’s book Is It Me: Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage

Gretchen Baskerville's Information:
Gretchen Baskerville’s site The Lifesaving Divorce:
Gretchen Baskerville’s YouTube channel:
Gretchen’s book The Lifesaving Divorce

Other Resources
Our podcast on The Power of a Praying Wife (featuring Gretchen):
Our podcast telling Natalie’s story:
Our book She Deserves Better, which deals with Nancy Leigh DeMoss’ book Lies Young Women Believe:

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

**Links to things mentioned:

First, support us!**
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work

Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation

Check out our Merch!

Our Resources
Sign up for Rebecca’s Friday emails

The Orgasm Course (there’s also an add-on for husbands)

She Deserves Better book

The Studies We Looked At:
Time Use and Feelings of Love

“Women Get Worse Sex: A Confound in the Explanation of Gender Differences in Sexuality

“Popular Psychology Through a Scientific Lens: Evaluating Love Languages From a Relationship Science Perspective”

“Gender Inequities in Household Labor Predict Lower Desire”,

How to Understand Statistics Podcast (and how statistics can be misused):

Want to be part of our research team?If you're a grad student, prof, or other academic, check out our job opportunities to help with peer reviewed research papers:

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation: https://secure.qgiv.com/for/goodfruits

Check out our Merch–including our Love & Respect His & Her mugs: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/shop/his-hers-love-and-respect-ceramic-mugs/

Sign up for Rebecca’s Friday emails: http://eepurl.com/z0VFn

The Great Sex Rescue: https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/

The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex: https://baremarriage.com/good-girls-guys-guide-great-sex/

Gary’s article “Young Husband: It Might Not be Her; It Might be Her Situation” https://garythomas.com/2017/06/29/young-husband-might-not-might-situation/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Links to things mentioned:
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation: https://secure.qgiv.com/for/goodfruits

Check out our Merch–including our Love & Respect His & Her mugs: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/shop/his-hers-love-and-respect-ceramic-mugs/

Emerson Eggerichs’ reel where he talks about relationships https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxL4Lm6pDo7/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Our summary of the issues with Love & Respect https://baremarriage.com/2023/01/summary-problems-love-and-respect-emerson-eggerichs/

Our Open Letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect https://baremarriage.com/2020/01/open-letter-focus-on-the-family-love-respect-emerson-eggerichs/

(All of our other posts are linked there)

Our podcast looking at the way he downplayed abuse in a sermon series at Houston First Baptist Church https://baremarriage.com/2021/03/podcast-on-emerson-eggerichs-gaslighting-emotional-abuse-victims-and-stop-seeing-women-as-dangerous/

Our look at how Emerson Eggerichs misuses Scripture in Love & Respect

https://baremarriage.com/2023/01/emerson-eggerichs-twists-scripture-love-respect/

The problems with hierarchy in marriage (Keith’s Danvers statement series) https://baremarriage.com/2023/06/danvers-statement-series-complementarian-problem-1-men-dominating-their-wives/

Check out Andrew Bauman’s Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health and Trauma: https://christiancc.org/

Andrew J. Bauman’s website https://andrewjbauman.com, or follow him on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/AndrewJamesBauman

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month, and get access to our Facbook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more!
  • Thanks to everyone who helped us reach our fundraising goal! You can give to our work and get tax deductible donations (within the United States) by donating to the Good Fruit Faith initiative of the Bosko Foundation.
  • Check out our Merch at our store, including our biblical womanhood and biblical manhood merch, our new Jezebel merch, and more!
  • Join our email list so you don't miss one of Rebecca's great Friday emails, or any chances to be in new surveys, etc.
  • Mark Gungor's clip about preferring a dog to a wife who talks to you
  • The Halo 3 study about female voiced players

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Partner with us at Good Fruit Faith, an initiative of the Bosko Foundation, as we help impact future church leaders with our data and our message (tax receiptable within the U.S.): https://secure.qgiv.com/for/goodfruits

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and get access to unfiltered podcasts! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Find Scot McKnight and Laura Barringer’s book Pivot: https://amzn.to/3ToOKiV, along with their first book together A Church Called Tov: https://amzn.to/41nRsrd

Our first podcast together about their book A Church Called Tov: https://baremarriage.com/2021/04/podcast-a-church-called-tov-and-matthew-18/

Find Scot McKnight’s New Testament bible study series: https://amzn.to/46Zc5uW

Laura Barringer on Threads: https://www.threads.net/@lauraebarringer

Scot McKnight on Threads: https://www.threads.net/@scotandkris

Me on Threads! https://www.threads.net/@sheilagregoire

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Our marriage survey is still open! We’re looking for married couples to take it. https://baremarriage.com/grim

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month, and get access to our incredible Facebook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Help us raise $52,000 by Christmas to expand our reach and make inroads into academic circles! BOSKO LINK HERE

Laura Anderson’s book When Religion Hurts You https://amzn.to/3sB0Zhs

Find Laura on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlauraeanderson/

Our Merch: order before December 10 to use it as Christmas gifts! https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/merchandise/

Our book She Deserves Better, outlining some of the trauma messages teen girls receive, and our book The Great Sex Rescue, outlining vaginismus as a potential trauma response

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Things mentioned in this podcast:

Our survey link! Couples are invited to take our marriage survey (you take it individually and it’s confidential): https://baremarriage.com/grim

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and help support our research and our work! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Join our email list and get Rebecca’s awesome Friday emails as well as a roundup of our best posts and podcasts: http://eepurl.com/z0VFn

Sarah’s Wilderness to Wild program: https://wildernesstowild.com

No Eden Elsewhere blog talking about small group abuse at Watermark Church: https://noedenelsewhere.com/the-aftermath-stories-from-former-watermark-church-members/

Dee Parsons from The Wartburg Watch on why you shouldn’t sign a membership covenant: https://thewartburgwatch.com/2023/09/11/smart-christians-need-to-think-carefully-before-joining-a-church-with-a-membership-covenant-which-is-a-legal-contract/ and how to resign from a membership covenant: https://thewartburgwatch.com/permpage-how-to-resign-from-a-church-whether-or-not-you-are-under-church-discipline/

Our podcast with Naghmeh Panahi: https://baremarriage.com/2023/10/naghmeh-panahi-bullied-leaving-abusive-marriage-podcast/

Biblical Counseling post on 98 ways you can sign against your husband: https://baremarriage.com/2019/06/sinning-against-husband/

The consent form you sign for biblical counseling: https://baremarriage.com/2019/03/question-your-biblical-counsellor/

John MacArthur Sermon Clip: https://www.gty.org/library/sermons-library/70-54/bible-questions-and-answers-part-77

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Links to things mentioned:
Take our marriage survey! We’re looking for couples to fill out our marriage survey: https://baremarriage.com/grim

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and support our work, while getting access to our awesome Facebook community! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Our Merch makes great Christmas gifts! Order before December 11 to guarantee delivery by Christmas: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/merchandise/

Andrew Whitehead’s book American Idolatry: https://amzn.to/3SubmhI, and Andrew Whitehead’s book with Sam Perry, Taking Back America for God https://amzn.to/3FU84Ne

Join Andrew’s substack! https://andrewwhitehead.substack.com/

Follow Andrew on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/ndrewwhitehead/

Listen to Andrew’s 4 part series on Christian nationalism: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/american-idols/id1706355168

Our book (co-authored with Joanan Sawatsky) The Great Sex Rescue https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Our survey link! Couples are invited to take our marriage survey (you take it individually and it’s confidential):https://baremarriage.com/grim/

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and help support our research and our work! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

The article where you can find the Elisabeth Elliot quote on the essence of femininity: https://www.crossway.org/articles/the-essence-of-femininity/

Holly Furtick’s reel on being grumpy: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CtnHKVJOOOI/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Holly Furtick’s reel on not fussing and just praying:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cm1oSdNBGB3/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

The study on why sweating the small stuff is important:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18361676/ Get help for religious OCD at NOCD.com -- Licensed therapists using evidence-based techniques.https://nocd.com

John Gottman’s book The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work:

https://amzn.to/3Mxzc8h

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and help support our research and our work! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Lisa Weaver Swartz’ book Stained Glass Ceilings: https://amzn.to/3suzUfJ

A write-up of the amicus brief submitted on behalf of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary to deny victims the right to sue the organizations that failed to report and failed to protect: https://www.courier-journal.com/story/news/2023/10/27/southern-baptists-response-to-sex-abuse-in-kentucky/71343874007/

Our book She Deserves Better: https://baremarriage.com/she-deserves-better/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and support our work and research, while getting access to our Facebook group, unfiltered podcast, merch discounts, and more! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Sign up for our email list to hear about when our next study is out! http://eepurl.com/z0VFn

The study that people say claim 75% of women divorce for lack of commitment (it doesn't really say that): https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4012696/

The study on how men are six times more likely to leave when one spouse is diagnosed with a life-altering disease: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19645027/

She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes in the Sink: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288 Plus Matthew Fray's book This Is How Your Marriage Ends: https://amzn.to/45PSM6w

Caylee Cresta's Instagram channel about mental load and taking out the trash: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CrQx8-sMKL9/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Check out our Boost Your Libido Course https://baremarriage.com/boost-libido-course/ and our Orgasm course: https://baremarriage.com/the-orgasm-course/

Check out our books The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: https://baremarriage.com/good-girls-guys-guide-great-sex/

Check out The Great Sex Rescue https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/

The study that found that women do more housework the more they out-earn their husbands: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3028208/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Join our Patreon and get access to the best place on the internet! https://patreon.com/baremarriage
  • Check out our Domestic Violence Awareness Merch and our Breast Cancer Awareness Merch--20% of profits go to support charities involved in fighting DV and breast cancer: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/limited-edition/
  • See Naghmeh's book I Didn't Survive: https://amzn.to/3MgUpmP
  • Listen to the audio of Franklin Graham confronting Naghmeh--and Naghmeh standing her ground on Scripture: (at the bottom of this post): https://julieroys.com/panahi-graham-bullied-salvage-savesaeed/
  • Read a synopsis of Naghmeh's story on the Roys Report: https://julieroys.com/panahi-graham-bullied-salvage-savesaeed/ or the Washington Post: https://www.washingtonpost.com/religion/2022/06/20/franklin-graham-domestic-abuse-abedini/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month, and get access to our amazing Facebook group and unfiltered Sheila & Rebecca!
https://patreon.com/baremarriage
Christa Hardin's new book The Enneagram in Marriage:
https://amzn.to/3SmZyxR
Christa's podcast The Enneagram and Marriage:
https://www.enneagraminyourmarriage.com/pod
Christa on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/enneagramandmarriage/
The study we analyzed:
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jomf.12863
Our new Biblical Manhood Merch:
https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/biblical-manhood/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Links to things mentioned:
Join our Patreon group for as little as $5 a month and be part of the most amazing place on the internet: https://patreon.com/baremarriage
Join our email list so that you'll be notified when I'm in your area--and so you don't miss any of Rebecca's amazing round-ups: http://eepurl.com/z0VFn
Kristin Kobes Du Mez' Twitter thread: https://twitter.com/kkdumez/status/1709746160120795295
Josh Howerton's sermon where the clip came from: https://subspla.sh/c7tmk53 (starting around timestamp 12:30)
Last week's podcast with Terran Williams on changing his mind and the impact on his family: https://baremarriage.com/2023/10/terran-williams-sets-out-to-prove-complementarianism/
Tim Little's bio at Faith Baptist Theological Seminary: https://faith.edu/faculty/dr-tim-little/
Gary Thomas' article where he misunderstands modern neuroscience: https://garythomasbooks.substack.com/p/every-mans-battle-yes-and-every-womans
Our podcast where Rebecca and Connor go over the meta-analysis on the differences between male and female brains: https://baremarriage.com/2021/09/pink-brains-blue-brains-gender-differences-neuroscience-podcast/ And the 2019 meta-analysis that we quoted from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6681749/ and the 2021 meta-analysis: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763421000804
Rachel Joy Welcher's review of Shannon Harris' memoir in Christianity Today: https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2023/september-web-only/shannon-harris-woman-they-wanted-memoir-purity-culture.html
Check out our new Biblical Manhood Merch! https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/biblical-manhood/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Join our Patreon and support our work for as little as $5 a month! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Check out our new Biblical Manhood Merch! https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/biblical-manhood/

Terran Williams’ Book How God Sees Women: https://amzn.to/3PJjwQ2

Terran’s book What’s So Amazing About Scripture: https://amzn.to/3ROMSiZ

Terran’s series on Mike Winger’s videos on complementarianism/egalitarianism: https://terranwilliams.com/what-winger-presently-gets-wrong-egalitarian-silver-bullet-galatians-328/ (all of his articles are linked at the bottom of this one)

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Join our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and get access to unfiltered podcasts, merch, and more! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Check out our Biblical Womanhood merch, and our new Biblical Manhood merch!

https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/biblical-womanhood-collection-merchandise/

https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/be-a-biblical-woman-collection/

https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/biblical-manhood/

Our Great Sex Rescue Toolkit–to help talk to your pastor, small group leader, women’s ministry leader, or anybody about the issues with the obligation sex message (it’s Pay-What-You-Can):

https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product/great-sex-rescue-toolkit/

Our Obligation Sex Series that has run all month:

https://baremarriage.com/2023/09/10-things-obligation-sex/

Our 4-Step Plan to Rebuild after Obligation Sex:

https://baremarriage.com/2022/11/the-sex-recovery-series-4-point-plan-to-rebuild-your-sex-life/

10 Questions to Ask if Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex:

https://baremarriage.com/2020/09/10-questions-for-husbands-to-ask-if-your-wife-doesnt-want-sex/

The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex–to help men especially get a more biblical, intimate view of what sex is supposed to be:

https://baremarriage.com/good-girls-guys-guide-great-sex/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Join our Patreon and support our research, plus hear me working through future posts and wondering what I should do next! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Our summary of all the issues in this podcast, plus a downloadable one sheet! https://baremarriage.com/2023/09/review-of-the-problems-with-for-women-only-by-shaunti-feldhahn-with-download/

Our post that does a deep dive in the problematic survey questions that Shaunti Feldhahn asks:

https://baremarriage.com/2021/01/fixed-it-for-you-we-fix-a-survey-question-so-it-doesnt-enable-date-rape/

Find Meghan Tschanz’s podcast series on For Women Only: Part 1; Part 2; Part 3; Part 4

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bonus-episode-for-women-only-part-1/id1438368947?i=1000625676862

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/for-women-only-part-2/id1438368947?i=1000626549865

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/for-women-only-part-3/id1438368947?i=1000627185380

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/for-women-only-part-4/id1438368947?i=1000628046603

Follow Meghan on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/meghantschanz/

Devi Abraham’s podcast Where Do We Go From Here, including my latest episode with her!

https://wheredowegopod.com/

https://open.spotify.com/episode/18eiTmiHvMimq3Oog80lq1

Follow Devi on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/devi_writes/, and the Where Do We Go From Here on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wheredowegopod/

We take apart the “love and respect survey question at the end of this podcast:

https://baremarriage.com/2020/12/unconditional-respect-in-marriage-is-wrong-podcast/

Our book The Great Sex Rescue! It’s on MAJOR SALE in paperback on Amazon right now!

https://amzn.to/3LT6wXl

Our podcast with Meghan Tschanz about her book Woman Rising https://baremarriage.com/2021/0

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Links to things mentioned:
Join our Patreon and support our research for as little as $5 a month! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Our op ed with Baptist News that goes over the points in this podcast: https://baptistnews.com/article/do-complementarian-men-do-better-a-response-to-nancy-pearcey/

Our initial article responding to Josh Howerton's claim that conservative evangelicals have the best sex and marriages

https://baptistnews.com/article/do-conservative-evangelicals-enjoy-better-sex-and-marriage-a-response-to-josh-howerton/

Our podcast going over these same points (for those who would rather listen!):

https://baremarriage.com/2022/04/podcast-do-christians-have-better-sex-lives-a-response-to-josh-howerton/

Leonardo Cruz' critique of how Nancy Pearcey handled history scholars https://leo-cruz.medium.com/nancy-pearcey-pt1-44f98c2a3602

Our book The Great Sex Rescue, based on our survey of 20,000 women https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/

The IFS report that showed that conservative highly religious men were far more likely to perpetrate intimate partner violence (p. 36):

https://ifstudies.org/ifs-admin/resources/reports/worldfamilymap-2019-051819.pdf

The book The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind

https://amzn.to/3r7BIe9

Check out our Biblical Manhood merch!

https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/biblical-manhood/

Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com!

Check out her books:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • She Deserves Better
  • The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex
  • and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Get a FREE copy of Rebecca's new book, Untwisting the Scriptures #5 when it launches September 11! Just sign up for her FREE ebook now and you'll be notified on September 11! https://sendfox.com/heresthejoy
  • Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month! Get exclusive access to our Facebook group, merch, and more perks! https://patreon.com/baremarriage
  • Sign up for our FREE webinar with Wendy Snyder from Fresh Start Family! Disciplining with Compassion, Connection, and Firm Kindness: https://freshstartfamilyonline.com/baremarriage/
  • My article that Rebecca Davis quotes in her book: https://baremarriage.com/2020/07/submission-debi-pearl-created-to-be-his-helpmeet-abuse
  • See Rebecca Davis' whole Untwisting Scriptures series: https://amzn.to/45B0HFA

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Sign up for our FREE webinar with Wendy from Fresh Start Family: September 14 at 1 pm EST (recording will be available): https://freshstartfamilyonline.com/baremarriage/

Check out last year's podcasts with Wendy: Part 1 and Part 2

https://baremarriage.com/2022/05/podcast-how-to-misuse-statistics-for-dummies/

https://baremarriage.com/2022/05/podcast-connection-not-punishment-a-better-way-to-parent-feat-wendy-snyder/

Find Wendy on Instagram!

https://www.instagram.com/freshstartwendy/

Join our AMAZING Patreon group--we're launching our book study in our Patreon community this month as a test run! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Check out our Limited Edition Merch--it goes away the end of August! https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/limited-edition/

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon! Join for as little as $5 a month and support our research while getting access to our awesome Facebook group!

https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Our Limited Edition Merch--it's only available until the end of the month! Check out these great beach towels:

https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/limited-edition/

And don't forget our Biblical Womanhood merch that's available year-round:

https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/be-a-biblical-woman-collection/

The Instagram Reel on Ken vs. Allan:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CvNIHFxN86G/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

The Atlantic: The real reason South Korean women aren't having babies: https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/03/south-korea-fertility-rate-misogyny-feminism/673435/

The New York Times: Women in South Korea are on Strike Against Being Baby-Making Machines https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/27/opinion/south-korea-fertility-rate-feminism.html

Carolyn Custis James' book Malestrom https://amzn.to/47HWqSh

Information on the Bechdel Test: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bechdel_test

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our patreon! Join our exclusive, behind-the-scenes group and get extra access to Sheila, Rebecca, and Joanna for only $5 a month!
  • Our amazing Insulated Travel Mugs, that keep water super cold, and keep things hot, too! We've got them in a variety of designs, including Prayer and Tent Pegs, our She Deserves Better slogans, and our Biblical Womanhood Merch
  • N.T. Wright's book How God Became King, and Rachel Held Evans' book Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water, and Loving the Bible Again
  • The article from Desiring God that tells women to gaslight themselves
  • Our podcast on how Emerson Eggerichs misuses Scripture, and our post outlining the main ways in detail

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and get access to our amazing behind-the-scenes Facebook group, and more.
  • Our Great Sex Rescue Toolkit–help for you as you talk about healthy teachings to your friends and church

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and get access to our amazing behind-the-scenes Facebook group, and more.
  • Our Great Sex Rescue Toolkit--help for you as you talk about healthy teachings to your friends and church https://baremarriage.com/toolkit/
  • Keith's Danvers Statement posts--Start here.
  • Emerson Eggerichs warns against wives following into sin (watch the first few video clips and see his emotional response)
  • Our Power of a Praying Wife podcast and download
  • The Gospel Coalition's Instagram Reel about men being passive
  • Our podcasts with Philip Payne: Part 1 and Part 2
  • Check out Marg Mowczko's amazing website
  • Why having the husband make the final decision can be a harmful shortcut

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Join our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month, and get exclusive access to our Facebook group--and even free merch!
  • A Synopsis of all the problems in Power of a Praying Wife--with an optional download
  • Gretchen Baskerville at the Life-Saving Divorce, and her book The Life-Saving Divorce. Follow her on Facebook and YouTube.
  • Gretchen's articles with info on the effect of divorce on kids; the ACE study; and more.
  • Sarah McDugal from Wilderness to Wild. Follow her on Facebook and Instagram and YouTube, or join her support groups.
  • Sarah's free online course to recognize red flags of abuse, plus a slew of resources to help identify abuse.
  • Sarah's article on how God honors free will: Happily (N)ever After, and Does God Say You Can't Divorce for Abuse?
  • Keith's series on the issues with the Danvers Statement

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our book The Great Sex Rescue!
  • Join our Patreon and support our work for as little as $5 a month. Plus gain access to our exclusive Facebook group, exclusive merch, and more!
  • Our research methods for The Great Sex Rescue, with FAQs, and a Twitter thread analying our methods by someone we don't even know!
  • Article from The Journal for Sex Research on the motivations for sex and the effects of obligation sex
  • Article on the emotional work done by women during sex--The Other Third Shift? Women's Emotion Work in their Sexual Relationships

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our Patreon! Get free merch, access to our Facebook group, discounts on courses, and more!
  • Todd Korpi's book Your Daughters Shall Prophesy: Amplifying the Voice and Place of Christian Women (https://amzn.to/3MWkPtH)
  • Follow Todd on Twitter and Instagram

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our Patreon community! It's super fun, and it helps fund our research! Join us for as little as $5 a month.
  • Our book The Great Sex Rescue, plus our two books that look into the sexual response cycle in detail: The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex.
  • Emerson Eggerichs: His podcast where the clips were taken from, plus the podcast where we analyzed his advice to the woman crying the shower; the post where we went into this in detail; and the podcast featuring the woman who wrote in to Eggerichs.
  • Dr. Laura Robinson's critiques of Beautiful Union. Here's Part 6 with links to everything (so go here, but then start at post 1 that is linked at the top and work your way through). In this podcast we focused on parts 3 and 4.
  • My original Twitter thread about the visceral reaction that women have to sex advice.
  • An article earlier this week about how pastors aren't necessarily the experts; lots of links to other well thought out critiques of Beautiful Union by Joshua Butler.

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our Patreon! Join us for as little as $5 a month, and get access to exclusive content while also supporting our research.
  • Nijay's new book Tell Her Story
  • Our podcast looking at how Emerson Eggerichs mishandles Scripture, featuring Nijay Gupta
  • The audio version of She Deserves Better is now available! https://amzn.to/43tbmkp
  • Our new She Deserves Better merch!
  • Amazon Prime's new series Shiny Happy People (coming June 2)

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and join our exclusive Facebook group, plus help support our research!
  • Our new book She Deserves Better--the audio has now launched!
  • Our one-sheet download of the problems with Every Young Man's Battle
  • Our podcast with Zachary Wagner, his new book Non-Toxic Masculinity, and his Twitter
  • Andrew Bauman's book The Sexually Healthy Man and his Facebook
  • Our Whole Story puberty course to tell your kids about sex & puberty!

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month, and get access to our unfiltered podcasts and more. Your donations help support our next big survey coming this summer!
  • Our new book She Deserves Better
  • Beth Allison Barr's book The Making of Biblical Womanhood, plus follow Beth on Twitter
  • Our books that are awesome for couples about to get married--The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and get access to our exclusive Facebook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more!
  • Our new book She Deserves Better!
  • Aimee Byrd's book Recovering from Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, and her new book The Sexual Reformation
  • Aimee Byrd's story of the bullying she went through in her denomination, and some more recent thoughts on the aftermath.
  • Take the submission quiz yourself! It starts on p. 30 of this download, but you can also find the "bellies are intoxicating" on p. 24.
  • The modesty podcast where we talked about the "bellies are intoxicating" statement.
  • Our Hazardous Materials stickers to put on books you're concerned about

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and get access to our exclusive Facebook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more!
  • Our new book She Deserves Better!
  • Zachary Wagner's book Non-Toxic Masculinity, plus find Zachary on Twitter
  • Our Hazardous Materials stickers to put on books  you're concerned about
  • The Instagram Reel from thatdarnchat

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Our new book She Deserves Better:
https://baremarriage.com/she-deserves-better/

Support us for as little as $5 a month, and get access to unfiltered podcasts, our exclusive Facebook group, and more. Join our Patreon!
https://patreon.com/baremarriage

The Instagram Reel from 247 Marriage:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CnetOgDhM1S/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

The podcast where we discussed "Girls Talk Too Much":
https://baremarriage.com/2023/03/do-women-talk-more-than-men-podcast/

The podcast where we were talking about how boys had to be superheroes:
https://baremarriage.com/2023/04/podcast-on-nice-guy-syndrome-and-boundaries/

If you're going to pull something out of your butt, it's probably crap merch:
https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/out-your-butt/

Anti-Rape Raccoon Merch:
https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/rabid-racoon/

Other Merch:
https://sheilawraygregoire.com/shop/

View Details

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

  • Our new book She Deserves Better
  • Support us for as little as $5 a month, and get access to unfiltered podcasts, our exclusive Facebook group, and more. Join our Patreon!
  • Article on the problem with “Nice Guy” behavior when it’s rooted in entitlement
  • Our episode of Theology in the Raw with Preston Sprinkle (the interesting parts are from 30 minutes on)

View Details

Things mentioned in our Podcast!

  • Our Patreon! Thank you for supporting us and helping us fund our research. You can join us for as little as $5 a month!
  • Jasmine Holmes’ new book Never Cast Out! Plus find her on Instagram.
  • Jasmine on our podcast a few months ago talking about her book Carved in Ebony.
  • Our book She Deserves Better! Pre-order it and get access to our bonuses.

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month!
  • Our new book She Deserves Better! Send in your pre-order receipts for lots of pre-order bonuses.
  • Study on Himpathy on what makes people sympathize with perpetrators rather than victims
  • Jenna Mountain's counseling center Aspen Haus

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Pre-Order She Deserves Better and join our launch team! The Launch Team closes on Tuesday, March 28, so get your pre-order receipts in now!
  • Help support our research, plus get access to unfiltered podcasts, an amazing Facebook group, and more, by joining our Patreon
  • Last week's podcast where we looked at the problems with one of Shaunti Feldhahn's survey questions around modesty
  • A podcast where we walked through another issue with Shaunti Feldhahn's survey questions where she spreads rape culture myths, and a post that lays out her survey question that enables date rape

View Details

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

  • She Deserves Better–our new book! Preorder on Amazon, or here are other places to get it (Baker Books has 40% off and free shipping within the U.S.!).
  • Join the launch team if you’re willing to write a review!
  • On Modesty: We shouldn’t sacrifice teens’ well-being for adult men’s comfort

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our book She Deserves Better! Pre-order it now (it helps us a ton), and then on Monday I'll give you information on how you can join the launch team.
  • Sign up for my email list so you don't miss out on joining the launch team
  • A study of gender differences in children and number of words spoken (hint, not much of a difference)
  • An article explaining the issue of faulty claims, and giving the results of a study inspired by these faulty claims.
  • The Mendelberg and Karpowitz study of gendered speech in mixed groups with decision-making

View Details

Should we kiss dating good-bye? In purity culture, we made dating a sin. But what does the data actually say about how dating affects teen girls? In today's Bare Marriage podcast, we share our findings from our survey of 7000 women!

Things Mentioned in the Podcast:

  • Our new book She Deserves Better, which launches April 18! It helps us immensely when you pre-order!
  • Sign up for my email list to be notified about how you can join the launch team!
  • Our book The Great Sex Rescue
  • The University of Georgia study on teens who don’t date

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our Patreon that helps support our podcast! You can join for as little as $5 a month! There's unfiltered podcasts, our exclusive Facebook group (it's really active!), merch, and more!
  • Exodus Cry. Check out the organization and see what they're doing!
  • See how to get involved (it's easy!). Join the fight against PornHub, sign petitions, read their articles, and more!
  • Watch Exodus Cry's documentaries. They're so well done and hard hitting.
  • Follow Benjamin and Exodus Cry on Instagram!
  • Our podcast last week with the woman who was put under church discipline when she wanted to get to safety from marital rape.

View Details

Today I want to tell you the story of an amazing woman who was the victim of her marriage AND her church that knew all the gory details, and yet chose to put her under discipline when she decided to end the marriage.

TRIGGER WARNING

In the first half of the podcast there is graphic descriptions of what her husband did to her. I did mention during the podcast when this was about to occur, so that people could fast forward if they chose to. But the description is horrendous. I wanted people to know what she was facing, and to understand her pastor knew this too.

NOTE ON NEURODIVERGENCE

Part of this woman’s story, she believes, is her husband’s lack of diagnosis for autism, which she believes contributed to his inability and unwillingness to see things from her perspective.

Plenty of autistic people are able to relate emotionally with their spouses, even if they do it in different ways. And they value connecting.

What is shared in this podcast is merely her story, and we understand that it is not the case with many neurodivergent people, who can have loving marriages.

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

  • Our new Fixed It for You Workbook! It’s selling so well, and it’s still on for just $4.99–until Monday!
  • The marital rape posts in our original series: The 2 kinds of rape; what to do if you’re a victim of marital rape; 5 next steps if you realize you’ve coerced your wife into sex
  • Kate Shellnutt’s article in Christianity Today about John MacArthur’s church’s further abuse of women, and Julie Roys’ account about Eileen Gray that broke the story.
  • My commentary from last week about the John MacArthur situation

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our Patreon! Our research relies on your support, and we're doing two huge new research projects this year. Join us on Patreon!
  • Ngina Otiende: https://intentionaltoday.com/  https://twitter.com/NginaOtiende
  • Philip Payne's new book The Bible vs. Biblical Womanhood (available for pre-order now!)
  • Other books by Philip Payne, including Man and Woman, One in Christ: An Exegetical and Theological Study of Paul's Letters, and Mutual by Design (where he has written a chapter on headship)
  • Philip Payne's Twitter

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our Patreon! Our research relies on your support, and we're doing two huge new research projects this year. Join us on Patreon!
  • Philip Payne's new book The Bible vs. Biblical Womanhood (available for pre-order now!)
  • Other books by Philip Payne, including Man and Woman, One in Christ: An Exegetical and Theological Study of Paul's Letters, and Mutual by Design (where he has written a chapter on headship)
  • Philip Payne's Twitter

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month, and you can get access to our awesome Facebook group, our unfiltered podcasts, and more!
  • This is the LAST WEEK to get the ebook for The Great Sex Rescue for just $2.99! On February 1 it goes up to its regular price!
  • The Orgasm Course! If this is a struggle for you, we can help. https://baremarriage.com/the-orgasm-course/
  • Our new book She Deserves Better is out in April! You can pre-order it now.
  • My post Bring Back Vanilla Sex, that a lot of this podcast was based on.

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and get access to unfiltered podcasts, while supporting our work counteracting harmful messages of marriage in the evangelical church
  • OUR LOVE & RESPECT ONESHEET: Download our new resource
  • Nijay Gupta's upcoming book Tell Her Story. Follow Nijay on Twitter!
  • Our post on Baby Bibles distorting the Genesis account
  • Our original Love & Respect post, followed by our Open Letter to Focus on the Family, Our look at how Emerson Eggerichs gaslights women in a sermon series, and how he brushes off a case of marital rape.
  • Our rubric and scorecard to see why Love & Respect scored 0/48.

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Patreon:

https://patreon.com/baremarriage

She Deserves Better (our new book coming in April; you can pre-order it now!)

https://amzn.to/3ZGFs2P

The Great Sex Rescue (on for just $2.39 on ebook this month, and the paperback is on sale too!)

https://amzn.to/3GV4aou

Becky Castle Miller

Website: https://www.beckycastlemiller.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/bcastlemiller

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@beckycastlemiller

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wholeemotion/

Marc Alan Schelske's podcast on emotional maturity:

https://baremarriage.com/2020/11/what-is-emotional-maturity-podcast/

Scot McKnight's and Becky Castle Miller's New Testament books:

https://amzn.to/3X3nB4l

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our Patreon! Support our work for as little as $5 a month, including all the amazing things that are coming in 2023, including two new big surveys, one sheets of harmful books to give to your churches, and scholarships as others continue the research!
  • Our podcast on finding new church homes
  • The Strike at Putney by Lucy Maud Montgomery
  • Our podcast with Beth Allison Barr
  • The research study finding that churches with gender hierarchy produce worse health outcomes for women, plus a shorter article describing this research by Dr. Camden
  • Information on the Iceland’s Women’s Day Off
  • Pre-Order She Deserves Better–our new book out in April!
  • The Harvard study including what SBC men and women think of female pastors:
  • The top Bare Marriage podcast episodes from 2022
  • The Great Sex Rescue! It’s on sale in ebook form across all platforms for the month of January, at only $2.99, and it’s on for $5 off in paperback on Amazon, too!

View Details

THINGS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST

  • Our Patreon! They’ve supported some amazing projects this year, and you can join us for as little as $5 a month!
  • The original podcast on feeling spiritually homeless
  • Last year’s update on feeling so disappointed by faith leaders (plus the podcast on how the authors we critiqued responded to The Great Sex Rescue)

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Our patreon community! Join for as little as $5 a month, and get access to our exclusive Facebook group, merch, and more!
https://patreon.com/baremarriage

The Bodies Behind the Bus podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bodies-behind-the-bus/id1601586078
and Johnna Harris' Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/bbtbpod/
Me as a guest on the Bodies Behind the Bus podcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/guest-sheila-gregoire/id1601586078?i=1000555692110

Dr. Foluso's counseling practice
https://skillsetcounseling.com/

and Dr. Foluso's YouTube channel
https://www.youtube.com/@UC0ogPtE3KqsiLXngwEboM8A

Before you sign a church membership covenant:
https://noedenelsewhere.com/before-you-sign-what-you-need-to-know-about-membership-covenants/

How to resign from a membership covenant
http://thewartburgwatch.com/permpage-how-to-resign-from-a-church-whether-or-not-you-are-under-church-discipline/

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month, and get access to unfiltered podcasts, more merch, and an exclusive Facebook Group!
  • Our Merch! Makes great last minute Christmas gifts, and check out our Be a Biblical Woman or our Love & Respect collection, or even our new Fixed it For You!
  • Winston Bosch’s Sermons: What God Hates More than Divorce (Mal. 2:16): Jesus and Divorce; and Paul and Divorce
  • Jasmine Holmes’ book Carved in Ebony, plus find Jasmine on Instagram!
  • And, of course, here’s The Great Sex Rescue! It’s on for just $2.99 on Kindle right now!

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

View Details

Links to things mentioned:
Our Patreon: Support us for as little as $5 a month to help us branch out and continue this movement!
https://patreon.com/baremarriage
The Great Sex Rescue:
https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/
Our series on our 4 step recovery plan when sex has become a major issue:
https://baremarriage.com/2022/11/the-sex-recovery-series-4-point-plan-to-rebuild-your-sex-life/
One story on what recovery looks like:
https://baremarriage.com/2022/11/heres-what-recovery-from-sexual-problems-looks-like/
Article by Matthew Fray on Safety for Women:
https://matthewfray.com/2017/04/11/safety-and-trust-in-relationships-those-words-dont-mean-what-you-think-they-mean/
Article by XO Marriage on the Four Needs of a Man:
https://xomarriage.com/articles/the-four-major-needs-of-a-man/
Last week's podcast featuring Jay Stringer:
https://youtu.be/QWpfqtr7PK4
Our podcast looking at postpartum sexual favors:
https://baremarriage.com/2021/11/the-sexual-favors-postpartum-podcast-can-we-please-stop-being-selfish/
Nathaniel Jolly's take on rape (major trigger warning):
https://baremarriage.com/2022/08/rape-victims-deserve-life-nathaniel-jolly-preaches-death/

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon: Support us for as little as $5 a month to help us branch out and continue this movement!

https://patreon.com/baremarriage

The Great Sex Rescue:

https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Our Patreon: https://patreon.com/baremarriage

The study on Who Cheats More: https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america

The Dennis Prager Facebook Video: https://www.facebook.com/prageru/videos/868111834352628/

The Great Sex Rescue: https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/

The podcast with Alyssa Wakefield https://baremarriage.com/2022/06/groomed-for-an-abusive-arranged-marriage-alyssa-wakefields-story-podcast/

The podcast with Natalie Hoffman https://baremarriage.com/2022/09/podcast-how-christian-marriage-books-set-up-for-failure-with-natalie-hoffman/

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month, and fund our ongoing projects
  • The Great Sex Rescue, our book that showed the issues with a lot of evangelical teaching about sex, based on our survey of 20,000 women
  • Our Merch: Check out our Be a Biblical Woman collection
  • The other times we've talked about Josh Howerton, specifically with Josh Howerton plagiarizing others; and Josh Howerton misrepresenting research.
  • Download our rubric of healthy sexuality teaching that we used to score the books--and this Instagram Live!
  • Listen in to the podcast where we talked about how other authors have responded to The Great Sex Rescue, including the Tim and Kathy Keller anecdote

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our Patreon! Our patrons have helped us have the time and flexibility to write She Deserves Better (out in April), along with the stats for The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex. Right now Joanna is working on two different peer-reviewed papers, and our next big project we'd like to fund is creating a database of good and bad books. You can support us for as little as $5 a month, and get behind-the-scenes access! Support us here.
  • Our Merch! Check out our merch, including our Be a Biblical Woman merch, and you'll help support us too!
  • Our Marriage Misdiagnosis Series. Start here, and then you can follow the links on the bottom of the posts for everything else.
  • Our rubric and scorecard of how the different books fared, including The Power of a Praying Wife.
  • My Instagram post of John Piper's horrible advice. Follow me there for more Fixed it For Yous!

View Details

On Plagiarism:

Scot McKnight's book A Church Called TOV

https://amzn.to/3cRXoDM

Scot McKnight's New Testament Everyday Bible Study Series:

https://amzn.to/3x3CBUV

Scot McKnight's previous podcast with us:

https://baremarriage.com/2021/04/podcast-a-church-called-tov-and-matthew-18/

Warren Throckmorton on Mark Driscoll's apparent plagiarism:

https://wthrockmorton.com/2014/03/03/mark-driscolls-tim-keller-remix-is-this-plagiarism/

David Dzimianski on Tim Keller's apparent plagiarism:

https://twitter.com/DavidDzimianski/status/1557790921101565952

Aaron New on Tim Clinton's history of Plagiarism:

https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1038574734697476097.html

Christine Caine's plagiarism:

https://wthrockmorton.com/2018/10/11/zondervan-settles-plagiarism-case-involving-christine-caine-without-apology/

Josh Howerton's Twitter Threads:

Original Twitter Thread (long) about how plagiarism by pastors is fine:

https://twitter.com/howertonjosh/status/1410306470726471686?lang=en

More recent Tweet about ethics of using someone's material without naming them if you disagree with them:

https://twitter.com/howertonjosh/status/1504120148818542595

Articles on Controversy with Josh Howerton and Andy Wood

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/anxiousbench/2022/08/im-sorry-but-youve-been-canceled/

Article Explaining Andy Wood controversy with Mark Driscoll

https://julieroys.com/andy-wood-apologizes-driscoll-interview-critics-dont-buy/

Andy Stanley's book The New Rules of Love, Sex and Dating:

https://amzn.to/3erUDcQ

YouTube sermon where Andy Stanley goes over the central points of this book, which Josh Howerton seems to have used:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIOMNzz9Srw (start at around 22:00)

Steven Furtick sermon with "two halves don't make a whole":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eu6E7SY-QJE (start around 6:30)

Josh Howerton sermon where he says arguing with him is like arguing with God:

https://subsplash.com/lakepointe/---media/mi/+c7tmk53 (start around 12:20)

Note: The sermon we're referring to I originally saw because it was listed on this page. That sermon has since been removed. It is the only sermon from 2022 that can no longer be found on the Lakepointe Church site, on YouTube, and on their podcast archives. It was there a few weeks ago; it's now gone. I have no idea why, unless he got wind of what we were doing (some people did know, and there have been "breadcrumbs" in the last few podcasts). I hope to see a public statement from Lakepointe and Josh Howerton apologizing for plagiarism, and saying this is why they took the sermon down. If so, I will let you all know and read it out to you!

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

http://Patreon.com/baremarriage

https://www.amazon.ca/Great-Rescue-Sheila-Wray-Gregoire/dp/1540900827

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Patreon https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Our Whole Story Sex & Puberty course: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-whole-story/

An article about Chief Theresa Kachimondoto

https://www.lifegate.com/theresa-kachindamoto-child-marriage-malawi

The All the Books YouTube video:

https://youtu.be/rFl8sJg8VqY

The Rise of Lonely, Single Men

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-state-our-unions/202208/the-rise-lonely-single-men

Pew Research Study they cite:

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2021/10/05/rising-share-of-u-s-adults-are-living-without-a-spouse-or-partner/

Study on loneliness in men:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886920302555

Our emotional maturity series:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/11/emotional-maturity-series-what-is-emotional-maturity/

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

The New Gospel for Women: Katharine Bushnell and the Challenge of Christian Feminism

https://amzn.to/3QivoHX

On Purpose: Understanding God's Freedom for Women Through Scripture

Julie Zine Coleman

https://amzn.to/3zKYB7y

Patreon:
http://patreon.com/baremarriage

The Great Sex Rescue https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/great-sex-rescue/

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Josephine Butler, Patron Saint of Prostitutes (it's a great read for the summer!)
  • Join our Patreon and support the podcast transcription--and all the research we're doing!
  • Check out our biblical womanhood merch!
  • If you haven't read The Great Sex Rescue yet, you need to. It seriously will change your life. And then buy it for a pastor or counselor you know!

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • The Great Sex Rescue: Our new book, that looks at how harmful some of these messages have been
  • Support our research by joining our Patreon group! Even for as  little as $5 or $8 a month!
  • Our "Do All Men Struggle with Lust" podcast
  • Our open letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect (at the bottom of this post is links to all of the other things we've said about this book)
  • The study on complaining and maladaptive worry and status

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Andrew Bauman: https://andrewjbauman.com/

And his book The Sexually Healthy Man: https://amzn.to/3p4JmyF

Benjamin Young's Twitter Thread: https://twitter.com/BJYoung1990/status/1353521004073652224

Benjamin Young's ministry Guard the Gift: https://guardthegift.com/

The Great Sex Rescue: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/great-sex-rescue/

Our Previous Podcast on Marital Rape and Consent: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/podcast-marital-rape-consent/

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

The Blog: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com

4 Stages of Porn Recovery: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/4-stages-of-porn-recovery-what-porn-recovery-in-marriage-looks-like/

The Bell-curve Modesty Rule: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/03/new-look-at-christian-modesty-guidelines/

The Whole Story: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-whole-story/

The Great Sex Rescue: https://www.amazon.com/Great-Sex-Rescue-Recover-Intended/dp/1540900827

Andrew Bauman: https://andrewjbauman.com/

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

The Blog: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com

Follow Sheila on Instagram: @sheilagregoire https://instagram.com/sheilagregoire

Dr. Cynthia Long Westfall: https://www.amazon.ca/Paul-Gender-Reclaiming-Apostles-Vision/dp/0801097940

https://mcmasterdivinity.ca/faculty-and-administration/cynthia-long-westfall/

The Great Sex Rescue: https://www.amazon.com/Great-Sex-Rescue-Recover-Intended/dp/1540900827

Psychology Today article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-joint-adventures-well-educated-couples/201210/women-need-love-and-men-need-respect

View Details

Things Mentioned in This Podcast:

  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • Our totally revamped Boost Your Libido course
  • Elora Dodd on Instagram , plus her Reel on Men’s Purity books and Women’s Purity Books
  • Our What’s Killing Women’s Libido series

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

John Piper article on harsh husbands:

https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/counsel-for-wives-with-harsh-husbands

Our original Facebook Live (expanded content from this podcast, extra 13 minutes on end):

https://www.facebook.com/100044310975500/videos/1036770680299677

Our article talking about John Piper and harsh husbands:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2022/06/john-piper-tells-women-with-harsh-husbands-to-basically-do-nothing/

Dr. Alison Cook on Turning the Other Cheek:

https://www.dralisoncook.com/should-you-turn-the-other-cheek/

Sign up for our emails!

http://eepurl.com/z0VFn

Our patreon!
https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Our Merch in our store!

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/product-category/merchandise/

Gretchen Baskerville on the effect of divorce on kids if husbands are abusive:
https://lifesavingdivorce.com/abuse-and-kids/

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Part 1 of Alyssa's story: 

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2022/06/groomed-for-an-abusive-arranged-marriage-alyssa-wakefields-story-podcast/

Wendy Snyder's FREE Parenting Workshop Registration:
https://freshstartfamilyonline.com/bare-marriage-disciplineclass/

TraumaMAMAS app:
https://www.wildernesstowild.com/wild-traumamamas-mobile-app

Find Sarah McDugal: https://www.instagram.com/sarahmcdugal
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sarahmcdugalauthor

Natalie Hoffman's book Is It Me?
https://amzn.to/3zziXlE

View Details

What if you grow up in what you now call a sex cult, and you marry because your dad told you to?

Did you really consent to that marriage? And how does it even happen in North America today that girls are being pushed into arranged marriages?

Today's podcast sounds more like one of those True Crime documentaries.

  • Our podcast on the Gothard movement with Emily Elizabeth Anderson
  • Our podcast on positive parenting with Wendy Snyder
  • Register for our free webinar with Wendy!

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

The Orgasm Course:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-orgasm-course/

Podcast where we talked about postpartum sex:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2021/11/the-sexual-favors-postpartum-podcast-can-we-please-stop-being-selfish/

Review of Married Sex:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2022/01/a-book-review-of-married-sex-by-gary-thomas-and-debra-fileta/

Mental Load Podcast:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/06/the-emotional-labor-and-mental-load-podcast/

View Details

Links:

Find Sarah! https://www.facebook.com/sarahmcdugalauthor

Trauma Mamas App: https://www.wildernesstowild.com/wild-traumamamas-mobile-app

Sarah's full Noticing vs. Lusting video:

https://www.facebook.com/sarahmcdugalauthor/videos/421831613107412

Knix in the U.S.: https://redirect.viglink.com?u=http%3A%2F%2Fknix.com&key=fdca749bda65f8445d29ae7a4952e9e2

Knix in Canada: http://rwrd.io/4mf6sks?c

Patreon: https://patreon.com/baremarriage

The Great Sex REscue: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/great-sex-rescue/

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Yerkovich's Website: https://howwelove.com

How We Love: https://amzn.to/3yLsrtB

The Orgasm Course: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-orgasm-course/

Our Post on the 5 Love Styles: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2022/05/the-5-love-styles-and-the-attachment-styles-dance/

Knix in the U.S.: https://redirect.viglink.com?u=http%3A%2F%2Fknix.com&key=fdca749bda65f8445d29ae7a4952e9e2

Knix in Canada: http://rwrd.io/4mf6sks?c

Patreon: https://patreon.com/baremarriage

The Great Sex Rescue: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/great-sex-rescue/

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Fresh Start Family Podcast episode 122: 
https://freshstartfamilyonline.com/podcast/why-connection-through-discipline-is-so-important-with-chad-hayenga/

Episode 123: 

https://freshstartfamilyonline.com/podcast/parenting-without-punishment-with-tanya-camps/

Wendy's site: http://FreshStartfamilyonline.com

Discipline Class: https://freshstartfamilyonline.com/disciplineclass/
Strong Willed Kids help:: https://freshstartfamilyonline.com/strongwilledkids
Logical Discipline Planning Guide: https://freshstartfamily.lpages.co/free-logical-discipline-planning-guide/

Jesus the Gentle Parent https://amzn.to/3M1Fuea

Heartfelt Discipline https://amzn.to/3N1H4Nc

The Mask You Live in Documentary: https://therepproject.org/films/the-mask-you-live-in/

The Whole Story Puberty and Sex Course: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-whole-story/

Angry Me by Sandra Feder: https://amzn.to/3FCNgJ3

Knix in the U.S.: https://redirect.viglink.com?u=http%3A%2F%2Fknix.com&key=fdca749bda65f8445d29ae7a4952e9e2

Knix in Canada: https://redirect.viglink.com?u=http%3A%2F%2Fknix.ca&key=fdca749bda65f8445d29ae7a4952e9e2

Patreon: https://patreon.com/baremarriage

The Great Sex Rescue: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/great-sex-rescue/

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Find Wendy!
https://freshstartfamilyonline.com/about-wendy/
https://www.instagram.com/freshstartwendy/?hl=en

Our articles on Spanking Babies and the research on spanking:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/08/what-does-the-research-say-about-spanking/
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/08/can-christians-please-stop-talking-about-disciplining-babies/

The Gershoff Meta-Analyses of Spanking:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7992110/

The problems with the book Love & Respect
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/01/open-letter-focus-on-the-family-love-respect-emerson-eggerichs/

The problems with how Focus on the Family talks about divorce and kids:

https://youtu.be/Umy_vyuZixA
https://lifesavingdivorce.com/fotfdivorce1/

Knix in the U.S.: https://redirect.viglink.com?u=http%3A%2F%2Fknix.com&key=fdca749bda65f8445d29ae7a4952e9e2

Knix in Canada: https://redirect.viglink.com?u=http%3A%2F%2Fknix.ca&key=fdca749bda65f8445d29ae7a4952e9e2

Patreon: https://patreon.com/baremarriage

The Great Sex Rescue: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/great-sex-rescue/

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Knix in the U.S.: https://redirect.viglink.com?u=http%3A%2F%2Fknix.com&key=fdca749bda65f8445d29ae7a4952e9e2

Knix in Canada: https://redirect.viglink.com?u=http%3A%2F%2Fknix.ca&key=fdca749bda65f8445d29ae7a4952e9e2

Patreon: https://patreon.com/baremarriage

The Great Sex REscue: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/great-sex-rescue/

Attachment Theory in Religion, Current Opinions in Psychology (2021): https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352250X2030172X

View Details

Josh Howerton's article: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/christianity-not-bad/

The Institute for Family Studies report that he references:
https://ifstudies.org/ifs-admin/resources/reports/worldfamilymap-2019-051819final.pdfKnix in the U.S.: https://redirect.viglink.com?u=http%3A%2F%2Fknix.com&key=fdca749bda65f8445d29ae7a4952e9e2

Knix in Canada: https://redirect.viglink.com?u=http%3A%2F%2Fknix.ca&key=fdca749bda65f8445d29ae7a4952e9e2

Patreon: https://patreon.com/baremarriage

The Great Sex Rescue: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/great-sex-rescue/

The Gilad study that found that religious women had difficulties with domestic violence:
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/272301618_In_God's_Shadow_Unveiling_the_Hidden_World_of_Domestic_Violence_Victims_in_Religious_Communities

The Life Saving Divorce analyzing what the Institute for Family Studies found about religiosity and abuse: https://lifesavingdivorce.com/1in4/

The Whole Story Sex and Puberty course for parents and preteens:
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-whole-story/

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Mary DeMuth

The Most Misunderstood Women of the Bible

Our podcast on the problems with the original Love & Respect question:

The podcast with the problems with For Young Women Only’s question on 82% of boys going too far, and our post fixing that question

The Podcast exploring the problems with misusing neuroscience research

The Great Sex Rescue

Patreon:

Here is the link with Knix.com

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Emily's blog Thriving Forward

https://thrivingforwardblog.com/blog/

Emily on Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/ThrivingForwardBlog

Stories about the lawsuit against Bill Gothard

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2016/01/06/new-charges-allege-religious-leader-who-has-ties-to-the-duggars-sexually-abused-women/

https://medium.com/iron-ladies/with-lawsuit-withdrawn-where-is-justice-for-the-victims-of-bill-gothard-and-iblp-50c12c236ea0

Patreon:
http://patreon.com/baremarriage

Here is the link with Knix.com

https://redirect.viglink.com?u=http%3A%2F%2Fknix.com&key=fdca749bda65f8445d29ae7a4952e9e2

Here is the link with Knix.ca

https://redirect.viglink.com?u=http%3A%2F%2Fknix.ca&key=fdca749bda65f8445d29ae7a4952e9e2

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Keith's post that he read: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2022/03/real-men-are-not-bullies-lets-talk-about-the-churchs-view-of-masculinity/

The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex: https://amzn.to/3JWPAvI

The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex https://amzn.to/3LrTiy2

Our Patreon: https://patreon.com/baremarriage

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Side by side screenshot of original review and edited review:

https://www.facebook.com/Sheila.Gregoire.Books/posts/526956238791404

Current review of Turning Red:

https://www.pluggedin.com/movie-reviews/turning-red-2022/

The Whole Story Puberty Course:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-whole-story/

Our Period Series:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/08/periods-going-to-beach-teenager/

Kyle Howard on Twitter:

https://twitter.com/KyleJamesHoward

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/good-girls-guys-guide-great-sex/

Our patreon! Suport us for as little as $5 a month and get access to our exclusive Facebook Group
https://streaklinks.com/A9slQrDFhYUQaoQ1AQPYigQ5/https%3A%2F%2Fpatreon.com%2Fbaremarriage

Andrew Bauman: https://andrewjbauman.com/

Carl Thomas: https://amzn.to/3Hsssn7
https://xxxchurch.com/

View Details

Does waiting for marriage really guarantee a great sex life? Sheila, Rebecca, and Keith weigh in on this week's podcast!

Links to things mentioned:

Our patreon! Suport us for as little as $5 a month and get access to our exclusive Facebook Group

Pre-Order our two new books--The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex and the all new Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex

The podcast on the Sexual Response Cycle

This week's post on vaginismus and wedding night sex

Here is the link with Knix.com

https://redirect.viglink.com?u=http%3A%2F%2Fknix.com&key=fdca749bda65f8445d29ae7a4952e9e2

Here is the link with Knix.ca

https://redirect.viglink.com?u=http%3A%2F%2Fknix.ca&key=fdca749bda65f8445d29ae7a4952e9e2

View Details

Please use these affiliate links if you're interested in trying Knix!

Here is the link with Knix.com 

https://redirect.viglink.com?u=http%3A%2F%2Fknix.com&key=fdca749bda65f8445d29ae7a4952e9e2

Here is the link with Knix.ca

https://redirect.viglink.com?u=http%3A%2F%2Fknix.ca&key=fdca749bda65f8445d29ae7a4952e9e2

Elizabeth Fisher Good:
https://www.freewithe.com/

The Great Sex Rescue

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/great-sex-rescue/

Articles this week about men and how the teachings affected them:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2022/02/how-can-men-fix-their-sex-lives-if-theyve-gone-downhill/

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2022/03/who-believed-the-toxic-sex-teachings-more-husband-or-wife/

View Details

Links to mentioned items:

When Shame Gets Real by Carl Thomas

https://amzn.to/3Hsssn7

XXX Church: xxxchurch.com

Patreon: http://patreon.com/baremarriage

Join our launch team! https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/gsr-launch-team/

View Details

Special thank you to our guest Patrick Weaver for joining us today! We look forward to having him on the podcast again in the future!

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month and help us get our research into peer reviewed journals. Plus you can join our rocking Facebook group and get unfiltered podcasts!
  • Pre-Order The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex or The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex and you can get our pre-order bonuses: awesome Evangelical Sex Report Card and an invitation to join our launch team!
  • Our original birth control series plus the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility
  • Patrick Weaver’s Facebook Page and his Instagram

View Details

Here are the links to the resources mentioned in the episode!

  • The Intimately Us app!
  • The podcast where we dissected Emerson Eggerichs’ reply to the woman crying in the shower; and the podcast where the woman crying in the shower responds
  • The Dunning Kruger Effect: Article 1 and Article 2
  • Pre-Order The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex and/or The all new Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex! And then send us your receipt to get the preorder bonuses and/or join the launch team!
  • The Sexual Response Cycle article
  • The 990 Tax Forms for Emerson Eggerichs’ non-profit for 2019

View Details

We are so honoured to have on the podcast today the woman who wrote that letter we discussed back in episode 129. She joins us to share her story, give some updates, and shed some light on what toxic teachings in practice actually resulted in.

Links to things mentioned:

The Intimately Us App! Download the free version right now–and there are special sexy challenges for Valentine’s Day!

https://r.intimately.us/tlhv

CT Article about Domestic Violence in Brazil:

https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2022/january-web-only/brazil-domestic-violence-church-women-pastors-men.html

Podcast about Emerson Eggerichs:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2022/01/the-podcast-where-emerson-eggerichs-ignores-marital-rape/

Patreon:

https://patreon.com/baremarriage

View Details

Research study about remarriage after divorce:

Remarriage: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2014/11/14/four-in-ten-couples-are-saying-i-do-again/

Great Sex Rescue:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/great-sex-rescue/

Keith's article on the boiling water

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2022/01/keiths-manifesto-misogyny-evangelical-church/

Owen Strachan's tweet:

https://twitter.com/ostrachan/status/1360257958526001153

View Details

  • Our wonderful sponsor the Intimately Us app! A-so-much-more-than-foreplay app. Helps you communicate about sex, have awesome bedroom games, discover what you like (and communicate about it), and more! Clean and totally non-creepy too.
  • Our Patreon--support us for as little as $5 a month and get access to unfiltered podcasts and help support our research!
  • Connor's post detailing all our problems with Emerson Eggerichs' podcast episode
  • Our Open Letter to Focus on the Family about Emerson Eggerichs and Love & Respect
  • Our original series about Love & Respect
  • Pre-order The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex and the new and revamped Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex--with tons of detail about the sexual response cycle (and, no, housework is not an element of the sexual response cycle, Emerson Eggerichs).
  • The Great Sex Rescue--the book we were inspired to write when we saw how toxic Love & Respect was
  • Our Love AND Respect merchandise (mugs, stickers, tote bags, T-shirts, and more--because healthy people need both love AND respect).
  • Our Duty Sex isn't Sexy podcast, all about obligation sex and marital rape

View Details

Open Letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/01/open-letter-focus-on-the-family-love-respect-emerson-eggerichs/

Download our scorecard and rubric for how we scored the books:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/gsr-rubric/

Ngina Otiende's blog, Intentional Today:

https://intentionaltoday.com/

My post about Christopher

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2016/08/im-okay-20-years-son-died/

Our Patreon:

https://patreon.com/baremarriage

The Great Sex Rescue:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/great-sex-rescue/

Lucy Maud Montgomery’s short story The Strike at Putney

Our Love AND Respect Merch

View Details

Welcome to a new year with the Bare Marriage podcast! We're glad you're joining us again after our break for the holidays!

Links to things mentioned:

https://twitter.com/scott_m_coley/status/1470964828206477320

https://www.amazon.ca/Great-Rescue-Sheila-Wray-Gregoire/dp/1540900827

View Details

Links to article on the blog: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2021/12/the-emotional-journey-with-vaginismus/

View Details

Our sponsor Femallay! https://femallay.com

Become a patreon and support us for as little as $5 a month! 

Our New Merch! Check out all of our merch, and our Be a Biblical Woman collection

Nicole Parker's Tales of Exodus book series

The Great Sex Rescue

Our Mental Load and Emotional Labor series

How Christian Resources teach women to be passive aggressive  

Barbara Rainey's article on spiritual leadership

Our FREE Video Book Study for The Great Sex Rescue 

Dora on TikTok about raising orphans

View Details

Links:

  • Our wonderful sponsor Femallay. Check out their vaginal melts, and their innovative menstrual cups that allow you to empty them while they're still inserted.
  • The Great Sex Rescue!
  • https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-orgasm-course/
  • https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2021/12/arousal-non-concordance-you-really-need-to-know-what-it-is/
  • Support us on Patreon for as little as $5 a month! And be sure to sign up for our Tea and Tent Pegs webinar that goes live December 6!

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our wonderful sponsor Femallay. Check out their vaginal melts, and their innovative menstrual cups that allow you to empty them while they're still inserted.
  • The Great Sex Rescue! Especially chapter 11 where we talk about postpartum sex and the advice given to women
  • The Italian study Keith and I referenced
  • The Facebook post where women shared their stories
  • Plus we didn't mention it, but please: Support us on Patreon for as little as $5 a month! And be sure to sign up for our Tea and Tent Pegs webinar that goes live December 6!
  • Our previous posts on postpartum sexual favors and the podcast Rebecca and Joanna did about resuming sex postpartum

View Details

Links to things mentioned:

Link to the Webinar with Sheila, Kristin, and Beth! https://us06web.zoom.us/webinar/register/3916371742777/WN_4zAQL63IQKWmABs58aF6_A
The Making of Biblical Womanhood: https://amzn.to/3x0aULd

L. M. M. story mentioned: http://fullreads.com/literature/the-strike-at-putney/

Check out our sponsor, Femallay! https://femallay.com

Join our Patreon! https://patreon.com/baremarriage

View Details

Find Dan and Stephanie's podcast here! https://podcastaddict.com/podcast/3567488

View Details

  • The blog: http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com
  • Our Patreon! Please join for as little as $5 a month and get access to our private (and very active!) Facebook group; our unfiltered podcast; merchandise; free books, and more! It supports Joanna's and Rebecca's time in getting our research into peer-reviewed journals and expanding to new social media outlets
  • Femallay! We love what they're doing to help women experience more pleasure and more comfort in our own bodies. Please check them out.
  • The Great Sex Rescue! Plus The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex is ready for pre-order! And so is the totally revamped Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex!
  • Amie Latta's counseling and coaching practice
  • Our podcast where we talked about neuroscience research

View Details

  • Thanks to our sponsor Femallay! Check out their vaginal melts, and my post on how your vagina changes as you age
  • Our Patreon–support us for as little as $5 a month and get access to our unfiltered podcasts and our private Facebook group (which is really active!)
  • The Great Sex Rescue–Chapters 5 and 6 cover the lust issue and porn issue, and try to do so in a non-shaming way, focused on actual research
  • Our Sexy Dares
  • The Intimately Us App
  • Our Orgasm Course
  • Keith’s post on sexually confident men
  • Our podcast with Marc Alan Schelske about emotional maturity
  • Andrew Bauman’s post about the pornographic style of relating
  • Today's Blog Post

View Details

We are thrilled to have a wonderful guest joining us this week! We hope you enjoy Sheila's conversation with author Gretchen Baskerville, as they discuss some extremely important points we need to include in our conversations around divorce in the Christian church.

Links to things mentioned:

The blog post that goes along with this podcast:
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2021/10/podcast-focus-on-the-family-and-abuse-divorce/

Gretchen Baskerville's Site:
https://lifesavingdivorce.com/
Gretchen's book The Lifesaving Divorce:
https://amzn.to/3vwdUhL

Gretchen's article on the 12 Half Truths in Focus on the Family's Article about Divorce and Kids:
http://lifesavingdivorce.com/fotfdivorce1/
Gretchen's Video on Love & Respect:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ3rqe9m--E

My Open Letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect:
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/01/open-letter-focus-on-the-family-love-respect-emerson-eggerichs/

Gretchen's Social Media:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ggbaskerville
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gretchenbaskerville/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LifeSavingDivorce

View Details

We have a VERY special guest  joining later today! For the first time ever we have Sheila's mother, Elizabeth, here to share all her wisdom! We hope you enjoy today's episode all about boobs, and breast cancer awareness!

Links to things mentioned:

Link for breast self-exam: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkPR4ar1EQ4

Link for Married Sex on Amazon--many of the reviews refer to the breast problem https://amzn.to/3iYfEvk

Patreon: https://patreon.com/baremarriage

Femallay: https://femallay.com

Our puberty course The Whole Story https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-whole-story/

Post on Developing Bust Early: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2018/08/early-puberty-big-bust-shame/

View Details

For this special edition of the Bare Marriage Podcast we created an episode that you can listen to WITH your teenagers! Rebecca and Connor walk through their own 'Sex-Ed' experiences, and discuss how they plan to talk to their own children about sex and sexual health one day. 

We hope this episode can be a great jumping off point for important parent/teenager conversations that may happen throughout these teen years, to help you equip your children in making wise decisions as they go through high school.

Be sure to check out the blog post that goes along with this podcast at http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com !

View Details

Today it's Rebecca and Connor coming to you, to discuss some neuropsychology! We know, it's a lot, but bare with us! We hope you enjoy this ramble through some statistical and psychological studies that can give us all a clearer picture on how we should be talking about the differences between men and women's brains.

Links to things mentioned:
Check out Femallay's products here: https://www.femallay.com/

2021 Meta-analysis of gender differences in the brain: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763421000804

2019 Meta-analysis of gender differences in neural responses to sexual stimuli: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6681749/

Critiques of Brizendine's work that have been available for over 10 years: https://www.talyarkoni.org/blog/2010/03/24/the-male-brain-hurts-or-how-not-to-write-about-science/

https://www.nature.com/articles/443634a

View Details

Many of you have asked for a step by step guide to clarify how to gauge whether a book is harmful or helpful. So today, we thought we'd do just that, and help walk everyone through the process we use when critiquing Christian resources we see being used today.

We'd also like to thank our guest Neil Schori for joining us today with such a wonderful discussion on how to talk to pastors about the harm found in resources. We can't wait to have him back on the podcast again soon!

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our Patreon! Support our research and getting our message out for as little as $5 a month and get access to our super fun and active Facebook group, behind the scenes podcasts, and more!
  • Sign up for our email list!
  • Our big post on the two tests for whether or not a speaker or resource is safe
  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • Find Neil Schori on Twitter, and join his Facebook Page for his spiritual direction and domestic violence prevention ministry
  • Our Open Letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect
  • Our Rubric for Healthy Sexuality Teaching--and our report of our findings from The Great Sex Rescue (you can download both at the same place)

View Details

We are thrilled to bring you another weekly edition of the Bare Marriage podcast, with a special guest appearance by friend of the show Andrew Bauman for a short segment today. Please remember to read the blog post that accompanies this podcast for more context into the topics we discussed.

Links to things mentioned:

  • The Blog: http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com
  • The Great Sex Rescue and 31 Days to Great Sex
  • Support our Patreon for as little as $5 a month! Help fund our peer reviewed research and new social media channels to spread our research.
  • Join our email list!
  • Andrew Bauman's website, his article on the pornographic style of relating, and his book The Psychology of Porn
  • Your Sexually Addicted Spouse by Barbara Steffens--has information about betrayal trauma
  • Gary Thomas' article "My spouse can't cure me, but can help me"
  • 2 Hour Facebook Live with betrayal trauma experts talking about the problems with the idea that more sex can help his porn addiction

View Details

Thank you to our lovely guest Micah for joining us today! You can find her online here:
https://www.apexcounselingservices.com/clinician/micah-morgan/

Links to other things mentioned:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2021/07/on-elisabeth-elliots-terrible-courtship-and-dating-men-sold-out-for-jesus/

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2021/08/the-great-sex-rescue-video-group-study/

View Details

Join us this week as we discuss the idea of how our expectations of marriage highly affect how we experience it-- and how expectations might not always be the problem! And thank you again to Bruce for joining us today for another deep dive into scripture!

Links to things mentioned:
Find more from Bruce on his website!
https://tru316.com/

Camden's article
https://www.cbeinternational.org/resource/article/mutuality-blog-magazine/when-religion-hurts-how-complementarian-churches-harm

Original study about health effects of churches where women aren't in leadership positions
https://www.asanet.org/when-religion-hurts-structural-sexism-and-health-religious-congregations

Sign up for our emails to win The Orgasm Course!
http://eepurl.com/z0VFn

Support us on Patreon!
https://patreon.com/baremarriage

View Details

We have the guys back for today's 'Men's Edition' of the podcast!

And thank you to Michael John Cusick for joining us today for our Reader Question!
You can find Michael here: https://michaeljohncusick.com/
Restoring the Soul Podcast: https://restoringthesoul.com/
Sign up for the emails to be entered in our draw for The Orgasm Course:
http://eepurl.com/z0VFn
Our Direct Communication Series (check out the links at the bottom for all of the posts):
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2021/08/direct-communication-series-5-reasons-why-its-so-hard-to-say-what-you-want/
The Research on Cognitive Labor:
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0003122419859007
Join our Patreon and support our research!
https://patreon.com/baremarriage

View Details

This week we're bringing you something different. This 'unfiltered podcast' that aired with our Patrons in July was an episode that we ended up feeling was worth being shared on a larger scale. We hope you enjoy this honest, vulnerable look into Rebecca and Joanna's faith thought processes, and that it may spark some discussion for yourself. 

We will be back next Thursday with a 'Start Your Engines' podcast, for the last week of the month, as usual!

View Details

This week's episode is ALL about communicating! Both with our spouses, and with our kids!
Check out the links to things we mentioned this episode:

  • Brett Ullman's website where he collates amazing parenting stuff, plus his book Parenting: Navigating Everything
  • Our Patreon--support us for as little as $3 or $5 a month, and get access to behind-the-scenes things!
  • My books The Great Sex Rescue and 9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage
  • Our Direct Communication Series: Why it's hard; what direct communication looks like; why it's not mean; why women struggle with it; why men struggle with it.
  • How to Eliminate Nagging for Good (from our Emotional Labor and Mental Load series)
  • Subscribe to our emails to win a copy of our Sexy Dares!

View Details

Aaaaand we're back! Thank you for all being gracious while we took a much needed one-month break in July.
Links to things mentioned:

  • Subscribe to the email list! https://tolovehonorandvacuum.us7.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=7dab5e96bfaeb6aaa1503b481&id=5b44e4e8aa
  • Our Patreon--support us for as little as $3 a month! We also have unfiltered podcasts and more available for our supporters. The money doesn't go to this blog or podcast, but to cover the cost of our research.
  • The Great Sex Rescue--and the package you can download to show to your church
  • Our definitive podcast on lust & modesty (because I didn't want to rehash everything when we talked about Modest is Hottest)
  • The Mars Hill podcast episode--The Things We Do to Women
  • Laura Robinson's Twitter Thread
  • The Jezebel Article about The Great Sex Rescue
  • Our article on Elisabeth Elliot and unhealthy dating relationships and the problem with Friendationships when you can't define the relationship
  • Can Christians use sex toys?
  • Our Churchianity vs. Christianity podcast

View Details

  • Keith's post on the slippery slope of male-only leadership
  • The Emotional Labor and Mental Load Series, with a podcast describing the issue
  • The Let's Go to the Beach Revisited post
  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • Pastors: Preach what you practice! About how pastors often say that husbands should make the final decision, though that's not what they actually do.

View Details

What  fun episode this week! With our wonderful guest Dr Bethany Peterson joining us, we talk all things pelvic floor and how we as women can improve our lives dramatically with more information on this topic!

  • Bethany Peterson and Well-Core Physiotherapy. You can also find Bethany on Instagram.
  • Bethany's post on why we need to explore our pelvic floors
  • The FemFusion Guided Meditation for Pelvic Floor Relaxation video
  • The Great Sex Rescue--and our FREE Video Group Study that goes along with it
  • The 4 Main Causes of Vaginismus
  • Support us on Patreon for as little as $5 or $8 a month! The money DOES NOT support this blog (it's already self-funding). It helps fund our research into peer-reviewed journals and new social media channels to get the word out about The Great Sex Rescue as we change the evangelical conversation about sex.

View Details

  • Jesus and John Wayne--order it this week!. And follow Kristin on Twitter like I do. She's awesome.
  • The Great Sex Rescue: A great companion to Jesus and John Wayne
  • Our Patreon group: Support us for as little as $5 or $8 a month to help fund new social media outreaches and Joanna's work getting our research into peer reviewed journals
  • Katie's awesome video and our awesome romance novels we made up, plus Katie's Instagram where you can see all the covers on her story highlights
  • Our podcast on feeling spiritually homeless

View Details

Find Jenn Riedy here: http://lehighvalleybaby.com/

Download the 'Intimately Us' app! https://intimately.us/

View Details

  • Support us on Patreon! For as little as $5 or $8 a month you can help pay Joanna so that she can get our research published in peer reviewed journals, and you can help us break in to new social media channels! (This blog and podcast are already fully funded; the money doesn't go to me but to the project).
  • The Great Sex Rescue, our new book that has upset everyone
  • The audio between Mark and Lexi. You can also read a transcript of the audio by Shannon Ashley, or a transcript with abuse tactics analysis by Sarah McDugal.
  • My article about the audio, and how I felt
  • The video we analyzed: The Sex/Love portion of A Tale of Two Brains and The Difference Between Men's Brains and Women's Brains. In this clip Mark Gungor also refers to women as "chicks." (around the 10 minute mark and then again afterwards). (This clip was actually sent to me two years ago, before I even really looked into him, because someone was concerned about the derogatory way he referred to women).
  • Our emotional labor/mental load series
  • The podcast where we looked at the problems with Shaunti Feldhahn's research that Emerson Eggerichs used to claim that men need respect while women need love.
  • The survey question where Shaunti Feldhahn claimed that 82% of boys feel little ability or little responsibility to stop in a makeout situation

View Details

We have a fantastic guest joining us today! With real experience on the mission field, Meghan Tschanz is in a great position to share her thoughts and add her voice to this conversation. Thank you for joining us and listening in today, and thank you again to Meghan for being on our podcast!

Things Mentioned in This Podcast:

  • Meghan Tschanz's book Woman Rising: Learning to Listen, Reclaiming Our Voice
  • The study about Calvinist/complementarian beliefs and their correlation with domestic violence myths
  • The Twitter thread by Branden Henry talking about books and research
  • The article Meghan mentioned by Lyn Yonack about power and sexual abuse
  • The Wipe Every Tear charity
  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • Support our Patreon for as little as $5 a month! Help fund our peer reviewed research and new social media channels to spread our research.

View Details

We made it to 100 episodes! Thank you to all our listeners for sticking with us, whether from day one or last week, we SO appreciate you being here! And thank you to all those who sent in messages for us to listen to in this episode! 

  • Great Sex Rescue!
  • Support us on Patreon--even for as little as $3 or $5 a month!
  • Michael John Cusick's Site, his book Surfing for God, and his Restoring the Soul podcast
  • Tim Keller's Twitter Thread
  • Focus on the Family article about consent
  • The Honeymoon Course
  • Our survey! Please take it!
    https://www.research.net/r/baremarriageblog

View Details

Thank you to our WONDERFUL guests this week! We have 3 different people joining in on the discussions today!

Links to things mentioned:

  • Timothy Thomas' articles, Part 1 and Part 2
  • Bruce C.E. Fleming's Eden podcast and Book of Eden book. The podcast walks through many of the Genesis verses regarding gender and shows us a beautiful picture of wholeness and freedom
  • Shannon Ashley's article about our interaction with Mark Gungor
  • The Great Sex Rescue!
  • Support our Bare Marriage Patreon for as little as $5 a month, and get access to unfiltered podcasts, special merch, and more!

View Details

Here we are with another 'Start Your Engines' edition of the podcast! Join Keith and Sheila as they discuss some strange things your wife might believe about sex, and Rebecca and Sheila as they break down an interesting perspective on how the men's lust message can mess up women too! 

LINKS:

  • The Great Sex Rescue: Our new book, that looks at how harmful some of these messages have been
  • Support our research by joining our Patreon group! Even for as  little as $5 or $8 a month!
  • Our "Do All Men Struggle with Lust" podcast
  • Our open letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect (at the bottom of this post is links to all of the other things we've said about this book)
  • The study on complaining and maladaptive worry and status

View Details

We've been going back in time on the blog and looking at how different eras viewed sex, so this week on the podcast we're bringing more of that conversation! Listen in as Sheila, Connor, and Rebecca break down what led to the sexual revolution and how the church responded to it at the time.

LINKS:

  • Come support our peer-reviewed research and getting into more social media channels!
  • Connor's review of the 1970s sex book
  • My review of The Act of Marriage
  • Our sexuality through the ages series--start here and then follow the links at the bottom
  • Our rubric and scorecard of all the books we looked at for The Great Sex Rescue

View Details

We've got some AMAZING guests joining us on the podcast today, authors/father-daughter duo Scot McKnight and Laura Barringer! We hope you enjoy this discussion on church cultures, and can find your own church that is 'tov'!

Links to things mentioned:
Scot & Laura's book! https://amzn.to/2OP4Nb9 (A Church Called Tov)

  • Our rubric and scorecard
  • The Great Sex Rescue
  • Our Patreon--so you can support us!

View Details

This week's episode is going out to all the parents of teens out there. We know that sex and puberty can be a tough topic to navigate with your children as they grow up, so we wanted to really delve into that topic and hopefully help further healthy messages for the future generations!

Our Patreon! Help fund getting our research into peer-reviewed journals and onto new social media channels. Even $3 or $5 a month helps!

The Whole Story: Our puberty & sex course for moms/daughters or dads/sons (or single parents & opposite sex child!)

The problem with Shaunti Feldhahn's survey question where she said that 82% of boys had little ability or felt little responsibility to stop the sexual progression

That study about teenagers and masturbation rates

The Great Sex Rescue: Our new book with lots of great research about lust, etc. 

View Details

This is a jam-packed episode of the Bare Marriage podcast! We hope you enjoy listening in this week!

Our Patreon! Support us getting our research into peer-reviewed journals and getting on new social media channels

The Great Sex Rescue! And remember to rate and review!

Last week's long post on Emerson Eggerichs gaslighting abuse victims--and the podcast that went with it

The blog post where Emerson Eggerichs uses the stat both correctly & incorrectly at the same time

10 reasons rushing forgiveness ruins intimacy

Our Open Letter to Focus on the Family (that our letter writer referred to)

The Duty Sex Isn't Sexy podcast (that our letter writer referred to)

Why Unconditional Respect Isn't A Thing (where we looked in detail at Shaunti Feldhahn's survey question regarding respect)

View Details

Our Patreon! Come on over and support our research: https://patreon.com/baremarriage

The post yesterday where we discussed Emerson Eggerichs' sermons in detail

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2021/03/emerson-eggerichs-and-the-gaslighting-of-emotional-abuse-victims-in-a-sermon-series/

Last week's post on the Atlanta shootings and seeing women as dangerous

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2021/03/how-has-evangelical-teaching-about-sex-contributed-to-horrific-news-stories/

Study showing that non-fatal strangulation increases the odds of a woman being killed by seven-fold

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2573025/

The original sermon series by Emerson Eggerichs on YouTube--Part 1 and Part 2

View Details

Let's discuss orgasms this week, shall we?!

We're thrilled to announce our new Patreon!
https://patreon.com/baremarriage
The Great Sex Rescue
https://tolovehonorandvacuum/great-sex-rescue/
The Orgasm Course
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-orgasm-course/
The Honeymoon Course
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-honeymoon-course-start-your-marriage-and-your-sex-life-off-well/
The Orgasm Series
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/10/you-are-not-broken-if-you-cant-reach-orgasm/

View Details

Another week where we're discussing sex and marriage here on the Bare Marriage Podcast! Here are your links to things mentioned:

The Great Sex Rescue--it's doing wonderfully and selling wonderfully! Thank you so much--and help us out by leaving a review on Amazon or Goodreads once you've read it!

  • https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/great-sex-rescue/

Our survey methodology https://greatsexrescue.com/gsr-survey/

Books that we liked--How We Love by the Yerkovichs; Boundaries and Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

  • https://amzn.to/3sYTLOW
  • https://amzn.to/2Omiq1d
  • https://amzn.to/30sCa5P

10 Ways to Know if Your Church is Toxic

  • https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2018/04/top-10-signs-legalistic-church/

Our Open Letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect

  • https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/01/open-letter-focus-on-the-family-love-respect-emerson-eggerichs/

The story of Thalidomide

  • https://www.sciencemuseum.org.uk/objects-and-stories/medicine/thalidomide

View Details

The Great Sex Rescue: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/great-sex-rescue/

Our survey methods: https://greatsexrescue.com/gsr-survey/

Dr. Camden Morgante: And check out her "which purity culture myth affected you" quiz! https://drcamden.com/ https://drcamden.com/take-the-quiz/

Our Podcast from last week discussing how children are not sexual: https://youtu.be/jz3ci85r3Bc?t=1740

Our Honeymoon Prep Course (where we help people prepare for sex on the honeymoon--and how not to rush intercourse!) https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-honeymoon-course-start-your-marriage-and-your-sex-life-off-well/

Our correspondence with Focus on the Family around Love & Respect and abuse : https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/01/open-letter-focus-on-the-family-love-respect-emerson-eggerichs/

View Details

The Great Sex Rescue is available to order now! - https://www.amazon.com/Great-Sex-Rescue-Recover-Intended/dp/1540900827

Andrew Bauman: https://andrewjbauman.com/

View Details

The Great Sex Rescue--launches March 2, but you can preorder now!

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/great-sex-rescue/

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin's Imago Marriage Counseling. You can schedule a free consultation now--or check out his retreats. 

https://themarriagerestorationproject.com/

My viral Twitter thread

https://twitter.com/sheilagregoire/status/1360634344390426629

Last week's article about how The Act of Marriage impacted me

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2021/02/why-i-drowned-a-book-in-the-bathtub-before-i-was-married/

Our libido series

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/09/how-much-sex-should-you-have-every-week/

View Details

This week were talking all about duty sex and consent! Thank you to our guests that joined us, it's so encouraging to hear other voices out there with a heart to share this hopeful message of what healthy sex looks like in marriage.

Links to things mentioned: 

Andrew Bauman: https://andrewjbauman.com/

And his book The Sexually Healthy Man: https://amzn.to/3p4JmyF

Benjamin Young's Twitter Thread: https://twitter.com/BJYoung1990/status/1353521004073652224

Benjamin Young's ministry Guard the Gift: https://guardthegift.com/

Pre-Order The Great Sex Rescue! (It launches March 2!): https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/great-sex-rescue/

Our Previous Podcast on Marital Rape and Consent: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/podcast-marital-rape-consent/

View Details

This week Sheila and Rebecca are digging deep into just how bad some of the advice out there is for Christians dealing with porn use in their marriage. We need to talk about this better, everyone!

Thank you to Michael John Cusick for stopping by to help give us an even better look at what healing and recovery can look like for the many people struggling with pornography.

Links to things mentioned:

  • Our Porn series in April (read the first; the rest are linked from there) https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/10-effects-of-porn-on-marriage-sex-life-brain/
  • Our Porn Habits Podcast: How most porn use predates the marriage (my response to Focus on the Family telling women that men watch porn because their wives don't have sex enough) https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/12/the-porn-habits-podcast-how-porn-affects-marriage/
  • Michael John Cusick Website, Podcast, and book: Surfing for God, about discovering the divine desire beneath the sexual struggle
  • https://restoringthesoul.com/
  • https://www.buzzsprout.com/460234
  • https://amzn.to/3tlyn7s
  • Andrew Bauman, author of The Sexually Healthy Man
  • https://andrewjbauman.com/
  • Preorder The Great Sex Rescue and get our scorecard and rubric for the 12 marks of healthy sexuality!
  • https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/great-sex-rescue/
  • Then join our Facebook group to become part of the launch team--see our Facebook Lives; and get a chance to read the book NOW! Just send us your pre-order receipt and you'll get an invite!

View Details

And we're back with a new 'Start Your Engines' episode! The whole team is practically here today, as Sheila, Keith, Joanna, AND Rebecca all join in to discuss this all too common teaching that 'ALL men will struggle with lust!'

Links to things mentioned:

  • The Great Sex Rescue! Pre-order it now--and if you want access soon, why not join our launch team? All you have to do is write a review for it, but you'll also get access to special Facebook Lives and more!
  • And don't forget to redeem your pre-order bonuses, including our scorecard and rubric for healthy sexuality!
  • Noticing is Not Lusting
  • 12 Things Churches Can Do to Help Men Overcome Lust
  • Why Bouncing Your Eyes Doesn't Honor Women
  • Keith's epic post on lust
  • Twitter thread we read: https://twitter.com/laurchastain22/status/1163477025967017985

View Details

Joining us on the podcast this week is Ruth Everhart, author of the book 'The #MeToo Reckoning'. We hope you find today's podcast a helpful step in the larger conversation in how we need to handle and address sexual assault situations in the church.

Links to things mentioned:

Last spring we had a number of posts and podcasts on the problem with the gatekeeping message--namely that it can hinder arousal. Some of them are: Arousal: The missing piece podcast; And the let's bring back making out post.

Why Unconditional Respect isn't a thing: Our podcast where we looked at the survey question that was used to justify the claim that men choose respect while women choose love.

9 Signs of Grooming Behaviour you need to understand

Ruth Everhart's post on The #MeToo Reckoning and Ruth Everhart's book The #MeToo Reckoning

The Blog: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com

Follow Sheila on Instagram: @sheilagregoire https://instagram.com/sheilagregoire

The Great Sex Rescue (pre-order!): https://www.amazon.com/Great-Sex-Rescue-Recover-Intended/dp/1540900827

View Details

This week we are joined by author Rachel Joy Welcher, as we discuss all things purity culture - and where it went wrong! We so appreciate Rachel joining us and giving her insight!

Links to things mentioned:

The Blog: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com

Follow Sheila on Instagram: @sheilagregoire https://instagram.com/sheilagregoire

The Great Sex Rescue (pre-order!): https://www.amazon.com/Great-Sex-Rescue-Recover-Intended/dp/1540900827

Check out Rachel's book "Talking Back to Purity Culture" :

https://www.amazon.ca/Talking-Purity-Culture-Rachel-Welcher/dp/0830848169

Find Rachel on twitter: https://twitter.com/racheljwelcher

Why arousal can be difficult for women if they don't understand the sexual progression:https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/05/podcast-extras-arousal-the-missing-piece/

More information on women and porn: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2016/05/women-porn-addiction/

Check out Rebecca's book "Why I Didn't Rebel": https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/why-i-didnt-rebel/

View Details

Welcome back! We are excited as we begin our rebranding process from To Love, Honor, and Vacuum to… drumroll Bare Marriage! Listen in as we discuss what led to this new name choice and our thoughts on how we see 2021 going, as we focus on a Jesus-centered marriage!

Links to things mentioned:

The Blog: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com

Follow Sheila on Instagram: @sheilagregoire https://instagram.com/sheilagregoire

The Great Sex Rescue (pre-order!): https://www.amazon.com/Great-Sex-Rescue-Recover-Intended/dp/1540900827

Sheila's post on the Harvard Study: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2018/11/what-a-harvard-study-tells-us-about-the-only-real-way-to-find-happiness/

More info on the Harvard Grand Survey: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grant_Study

The article on 'Mediocre Leaders': https://www.challies.com/articles/on-following-mediocre-leaders/

Our response to Emerson Eggrichs: https://www.facebook.com/100044310975500/videos/350228289558322

View Details

2020 has been a wild year for everyone. As we close off this year, we want to reiterate how much we appreciate everyone who has taken the time to read the blog, listen to the podcast, buy the books, buy the courses and just be a part of our TLHV family. We hope you've enjoyed learning lots along with us this year, and we can't wait for the release of our book in March as we enter a new era on To Love, Honor, and Vacuum, (and hopefully a more joyful era at that!)

Links to things mentioned:

Dr. Cynthia Long Westfall: https://www.amazon.ca/Paul-Gender-Reclaiming-Apostles-Vision/dp/0801097940

https://mcmasterdivinity.ca/faculty-and-administration/cynthia-long-westfall/

Marg Mowczko: https://margmowczko.com/

The Blog: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com

View Details

Another week, another episode of the TLHV podcast! A special thank-you to our guest Dr. Westfall for helping shed more light and give new perspectives on a passage in scripture that we read so often! We hope you enjoyed today's episode, and while we know we got pretty technical with some context and vocabulary, we believe it is very important that we look at these topics as clearly as possible to gain the best understanding.

Links to things mentioned:

The Blog: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com

Follow Sheila on Instagram: @sheilagregoire https://instagram.com/sheilagregoire

Dr. Cynthia Long Westfall: https://www.amazon.ca/Paul-Gender-Reclaiming-Apostles-Vision/dp/0801097940

https://mcmasterdivinity.ca/faculty-and-administration/cynthia-long-westfall/

The Great Sex Rescue (pre-order!): https://www.amazon.com/Great-Sex-Rescue-Recover-Intended/dp/1540900827

Psychology Today article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-joint-adventures-well-educated-couples/201210/women-need-love-and-men-need-respect

View Details

We always love tackling tough subjects on the To Love, Honor, and Vacuum Podcast and we hope you enjoyed our passionate discussion today.

Links to things mentioned:

The Blog: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com

4 Stages of Porn Recovery: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/4-stages-of-porn-recovery-what-porn-recovery-in-marriage-looks-like/

The Bell-curve Modesty Rule: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/03/new-look-at-christian-modesty-guidelines/

The Whole Story: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-whole-story/

The Great Sex Rescue (pre-order!): https://www.amazon.com/Great-Sex-Rescue-Recover-Intended/dp/1540900827

Andrew Bauman: https://andrewjbauman.com/

View Details

Alright, gentlemen, we're here again for another Start Your Engines episode! Thank you to Andrew Bauman for joining us today for this important conversation and being a great voice advocating for emotional health.
We apologize for the slightly muffled audio, we did our best to clean it up, and we appreciate your grace with us as we begin to invite guests onto the show and work out new technical challenges.

Links to things mentioned:

Andrew J Bauman's Surveys: https://andrewjbauman.com/surveys/

https://andrewjbauman.com

Books by Andrew J Bauman: https://andrewjbauman.com/#books

Sheila's Links: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com

Bare Marriage Men's Survey: https://www.research.net/r/baremarriagemen

View Details

We want to give a special welcome this week to our first non-family-member guest, Marc Alan Schelske! We hope you enjoy our discussions today all about emotional intelligence and emotional maturity.

Links to things mentioned:

Marc Alan Schelske's book: https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Your-Heart-Discovering-God-Given-ebook/dp/B073VCKVML
https://marcalanschelske.com/
Podcast: https://marcalanschelske.com/indexes/index-the-apprenticeship-way-podcast/
Workbook mentioned: https://marcalanschelske.com/untangled-workbook/

And don't forget to sign up for Sheila's newsletter! https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/join-the-newsletter/

View Details

Sheila and Rebecca decided to take the time this week to further flesh out a podcast topic addressed a few weeks ago, that was perhaps not portrayed in the best way. Thank you for making the 'To Love, Honor, and Vacuum' podcast part of your week!

Links to things mentioned:

The Blog: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/

"Rushing Forgiveness Ruins Intimacy": https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/08/10-reasons-why-rushing-forgiveness-ruins-intimacy/

Pre-Order 'The Great Sex Rescue': https://www.amazon.ca/Great-Rescue-Sheila-Wray-Gregoire/dp/1540900827

Be a part of 'The Great Sex Rescue' Launch Team!: https://forms.gle/A9ZLMdgMR37uK8rQA

Natalie Hoffman Post: https://www.flyingfreenow.com/message-baptist-church-preached-death-women/

https://leslievernick.com

Please check the blog post that accompanies this podcast for further links to things mentioned.

View Details

It's time for our monthly 'Start Your Engines' podcast, with special guest Keith! We hope you enjoyed this conversation all about the sexy sex!

 Links to things mentioned:

 10 Things Husbands Who Are Great Lovers Do: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/10/10-things-husbands-who-are-great-lovers-do/

The Orgasm Course: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-orgasm-course/

Some articles from the blog talking about dealing with Pornography addiction:
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/motivation-for-men-to-fight-pornography/
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/how-to-break-the-stronghold-of-porn/
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/4-stages-of-porn-recovery-what-porn-recovery-in-marriage-looks-like/

View Details

Join us for another week of the To Love, Honor, and Vacuum Podcast, where Sheila explores some of your comments on how the beliefs we internalize affect a couple's sex life.

Link to the blog:
http://www.tolovehonorandvacuum.com

Link to Pre-Order The Great Sex Rescue:
https://www.amazon.com/Great-Sex-Rescue-Recover-Intended/dp/1540900827

View Details

This month on the blog we're going to be talking lots about orgasms! Do you struggle with having orgasms? Do you see your body as something working against you, not for you? We're here to help talk about these things!
And today we have Sheila, Rebecca AND Connor all hopping on the podcast to give some great thoughts about how we talk about women's sexuality, how we view our sexual needs, and how we can increase the likelihood of orgasming!
Blog post mentioned from Monday: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/10/you-are-not-broken-if-you-cant-reach-orgasm/
Blog post for this podcast: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/

View Details

Join us this week as Sheila Wray Gregoire and Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach discuss some important topics -- sexual abuse and when to seek professional help.

Links to things mentioned in the podcast:
The need for licensed counselling : https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/03/question-your-biblical-counsellor/

Dan Allender's book: https://www.amazon.com/The-Wounded-Heart-Dan-B-Allender-audiobook/dp/B01ATOK6H8

"98 Ways You Could Be Sinning Against Your Husband": https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/06/sinning-against-husband/

View Details

Thank you for tuning in to the September edition of the 'Start Your Engines Podcast'!

Links mentioned in the episode:

Blog Post on Frequency: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/09/how-much-sex-should-you-have-every-week/

Email List Sign-up: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.us7.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=7dab5e96bfaeb6aaa1503b481&id=5b44e4e8aa

Link for the Blog: http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com

View Details

This month on the blog we’re discussing all things ‘Libido’! Listen in to hear Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach and Sheila Wray Gregoire talk about what could possibly be the key to unlocking your spouses’ low libido, and perhaps make you rethink how you see 'frequency' in relation to healthy sex! 

Blog Posts Mentioned in this Podcast: 

How frequently should a healthy couple have sex?:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/09/how-much-sex-should-you-have-every-week/

How to see Every Man’s Battle Differently: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2017/06/every-mans-battle-is-wrong/

How to see Sex from a Different Perspective:  https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/07/understanding-sex-from-a-womans-perspective/

Why We Need to See Sex as Mutual: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/03/godly-sex-is-mutual-sex/

View Details

This week Sheila is flying solo on the podcast, and getting a bit more controversial!
Listen in to hear her discuss the concept of how being content with your sex life can perhaps cause it to flourish even more, how sex and talking are NOT equivalent, and how Christians should better handle speaking about divorce.

Links for Things Mentioned:

Free Sex Pep-Talk Course! https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/sex-pep-talk-course/

This week's mentioned post: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/09/libido-can-high-drive-spouses-be-content-with-sex-frequency/

My Post on "Are you to blame if your husband has an affair?" https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/07/are-you-to-blame-if-your-spouse-cheats-on-you/

Book Recommendation: Marc Alan Schelske's "The Wisdom of your Heart" https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Your-Heart-Discovering-God-Given/dp/0781414512/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=marc+alan+wisdom&qid=1599678760&sr=8-1

View Details

How do you handle it when tough conversations come up and loved ones are making decisions you don't agree with? Especially when marriage and engagements are the starting point for those hard conversations?

Today Sheila Wray Gregoire and Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach from To Love, Honor and Vacuum talk through different Reader Questions and come up with some tips on communicating and how to discuss issues such as pornography and past trauma with your fiance!

Some links mentioned in this podcast:

The Honeymoon Course!
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-honeymoon-course-start-your-marriage-and-your-sex-life-off-well/

Our 'Love & Respect' Blog Posts:
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/01/love-and-respect-review-how-sex-portrayed/

Should you marry someone who uses porn?
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/01/should-you-marry-porn-user/

BOOKS MENTIONED:

Why I Didn't Rebel: https://www.amazon.com/Why-Didnt-Rebel-Twenty-Two-Year-Old-Narrow/dp/0718090004/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=why+i+didn%27t+rebel&qid=1599102064&sr=8-1

Discipline That Connects with Your Child's Heart: https://www.amazon.com/Discipline-that-Connects-Childs-Heart/dp/0984994203

View Details

What if, when flirting, your signals keep getting crossed and for some reason your wife doesn't respond well to your advances? In today's episode, Sheila and Keith, (plus Rebecca and Connor!), sit down to break down why flirting and groping are different things, as well as how to optimize your timing and context when flirting!
Check out the blog for so much more on this topic, and fun challenges to do with your spouse!
http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com

View Details

What do you do if you can't/don't want to have intercourse, but other forms of sex are actually uncomfortable?

Some Christian books tell women they should give sexual favors, because they're "simple" and take a "minimum of effort."

Today Sheila Wray Gregoire and Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach from To Love, Honor and Vacuum look at the complete picture--what this should look like in a healthy relationship, and how to think about it if one of you actually is physically uncomfortable.

Because, as always, sex is supposed to be MUTUAL.

Some links mentioned in this podcast:

All my Audio books--and the free book studies that go along with my books:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/08/audio-books-free-video-studies-and-more/

My Boost Your Libido course!

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/boost-libido-course/

Our marital rape/consent/obligation sex podcast:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/podcast-marital-rape-consent/

And for more discussion on this podcast, check out the post that goes along with it!

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/08/podcast-when-oral-sex-manual-sex-hurt

View Details

Another Thursday, another episode of our podcast!

It's Sheila Wray Gregoire and Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach from the To Love, Honor and Vacuum blog, discussing expectations of the effort we put into sex and making one another feel good!

And yes, we're still filming from Sheila's closet because the sound is best there! :) 

Check out the posts mentioned in the podcast: 

The Honeymoon course:
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-honeymoon-course-start-your-marriage-and-your-sex-life-off-well/

Rebecca's blog post:
https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/08/can-christians-please-stop-talking-about-disciplining-babies/

View Details

Why do we feel such shame? How can we help men be more sensitive to women--without being creepy? And how can we as women be empathetic towards each other? These are questions Rebecca and I tackle in this week's podcast.

Plus we'll discuss why using tampons does not impact your virginity (why do we even think that's a thing? Sheesh!).

Check out the posts mentioned in the podcast: 

Our Whole Story puberty course!

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-whole-story/

And our period series--check out our first post. The rest are included!

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/08/periods-going-to-beach-teenager/

View Details

Today Keith joins me for yet another episode of our ‘Start Your Engines’ edition of the podcast to discuss how husbands and wives approach to sex can vary greatly, but how neither one is wrong! 

Blog posts mentioned in this episode:

“Should I Tell My Husband if I Fake Orgasm or Fantasize During Sex?”

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/07/should-i-tell-my-husband-if-i-fake-orgasm-or-fantasize-during-sex/

“Understanding Sex from a Woman’s Perspective” 

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/07/understanding-sex-from-a-womans-perspective/

View Details

This week--how do you untangle sex problems, especially because there's usually not just one problem? And how to tell if there are red flags that something's really wrong!

Thanks to our sponsor Ann Mainse, whose wonderful devotional Coffee with Him helps any woman walking through rough times--whether cancer or betrayal or heartache or disillusionment--find peace. Raw and real, Ann shows how we can be honest with God in the darkness.

https://amzn.to/30CfBLA

Posts mentioned in this podcast:

The 5 Step Plan for Untangling Sex Problems:

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/07/why-are-so-many-sex-problems-in-marriage-so-hard-to-solve/

We Need a New Definition of Sex

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/03/new-definition-sex/

We Read Act of Marriage--So You Don't Have to!

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/act-of-marriage-lahaye-christian-sex-book-review/

And don't forget to check out 31 Days to Great Sex to help you connect again and step-by-step rebuild your sex life!

https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/books-2/31-days-to-great-sex/

View Details

We often go to our pastors for marital advice and answers to tough questions. But what about the questions you can't ask them? In preparation for my Sex Questions You Can't Ask Your Pastor tomorrow at 9:00 PM Eastern Time.
If you want to sign up, just follow the link to buy your ticket, which comes with a FREE copy of my book 31 Days to Great Sex, and a FREE copy of Spicy Dares
Sign Up for the Webinar Here
Blog Post Extras

View Details

We have been talking about the concept of mental load and the emotional burden of taking care of kids and the household. And when your wife is feeling overburdened bu all the things she needs to track, it's hard for her to get invested in the bedroom. It's so important, then, for husbands to get invested in the household, but is asking her to make a list really going to help the problem? Let's discuss!

View Details

I've been talking on the blog about the mental load of housework and how it often falls on the wives, even when they are the one who works outside the house. I have also been saying that men can step up more because being a man doesn't make them less capable. Curiously, that sentiment has earned me the title of man-basher from some of my male commenters. So Let's talk about that.
Podcast Extras
9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage

View Details

Let's talk about minimum community standards and how they can be used to reduce your mental load and get you and your spouse on the same page in terms of housework!

View Details

This month we are doing our series on emotional labour. In keeping with that trend, today's podcast is all about how much of a mental load it is to be solely in charge of housework, and how to find a healthier balance with your spouse.

View Details

What are the differences between men and women, and how important are they actually? Have we been focusing on the wrong thing?

View Details

So much of the teachings out there for young women is that when they are dating, they must be the gatekeeper and stop physical interactions from reaching their boyfriend's 'point of no return.' Let's talk about how this mentality often ends up holding women back from enjoying sex once they are married.
Honeymoon Course

View Details

Today we talk about about how to handle being cooped up in the house spending all day every day with your spouse. It's not just something to get through, but something you can even grow to love! 

View Details

We have found the the message that "women NEED to have sex regularly or else their husbands will stray" Is very harmful to their enjoyment of sex. But we also found that they often don't get that message from their husbands. Their are a lot of great husbands out their whose wives are still struggling because they have heard this message at church or in books or from media .So let's talk about how you can replace that message with something better and help your wife find sex sexy again. Also, Connor comes on to talk with Keith about porn and with Rebecca about consent. They talk about the harmful messages that arise around these issues and how we can combat them.
Is Sex an Entitlement?
Top 10 Effects of Porn on the Brain
Porn and Sex Trafficking
4 Stages of Porn Recovery
Marital Rape Podcast

View Details

We need to talk about what actually constitutes rape and consent in marriage, and where obligation sex fits into the conversation
Podcast Extras on the Blog
Marital Rape
1 Corinthians 7:3-5: What do the verses really mean?
Do Not Deprive: What if it’s actually women who are being deprived?
Why We Need a New Definition of Sex
Have we made sex into an entitlement?
Why submission doesn’t mean letting yourself be hurt (a look at the book Created to be His Helpmeet)
Sexual trauma & The Body Keeps the Score

View Details

Today, Rebecca and I review sheet music and talk about how a book that gives overly explicit sex advice can become just plain creepy.
Honeymoon Course

View Details

I read out some quotes and anecdotes from Tim LaHaye's book, The Act of Marriage, to my Rebecca to get her reaction.

View Details

COVID-19 is everywhere in the news right now, and people are scared. But while everyone is talking about the novel coronavirus and our response to it, I want to discuss the similartities between COVID-19 and porn use, particularly in terms of what we should do about it.
Podcast Extras
Why Every Man's Battle Fails
Wives Are not to Blame

View Details

It's time to rethink 'every man's battle' and talk about what lust really is, and how to really combat it.
Podcast Extras
The Church View of Lust Disrespects Women
Are Men Visual?
Masturbation in Marriage
When She’s Always Left Hanging
Women Deserve Orgasm, too
Why Women’s Fireworks Matter

View Details

We live in a rapidly changing world where information is available at the touch of a button, yet the Sunday church service has stayed pretty consistent. Is it time to shake things up?
Podcast Extras
Being Lonely in a Group of People
10 Ways to Break Into A New Church and Find Friends
What Happened at Willow Creek?
10 Signs You’re in a Legalistic Church
When Women Start Saying No to Church Activities
The Case Against Sermon-Centric Sundays

View Details

Community is an important part of our life, but what do you do when you have trouble finding it? Or when you've found it, but can't join it? Or when you feel you have a little too much of it, and people are giving you unsolicited advice? All that and more on today's episode!
Podcast Extras
Making Community at Church
Podcast: Getting Your Life Together
Canadian Pediatric Society Screen Guidelines
American Academy of Pediatrics Family Media Plan

View Details

My reader questions are coming in faster than I can write posts on them, so for today's podcast I am going to answer a bunch of my readers questions about marriage, sex, and everything else!
Podcast Extras
Can You Divorce for Abuse?
Why I’m Anti-Divorce but Pro Remarriage
Is the Husband the Tie-Breaker?
Are Husbands Supposed to "Get Their Wives Ready for Jesus?"

View Details

There are a lot of unhelpful or harmful teachings about sex out there, so let's talk about how to discern the good from the bad. Also on this episode, Rebecca and I will talk about how to navigate your wife's hormonal cycles when it comes to the bedroom!
Spicy Dares
Podcast Extras

View Details

The idea of having sex after giving birth is daunting, especially after complications. And if we move too fast, we risk making recovery even harder. So let's talk about not just how to start having sex again, but how to get back to enjoying it!
Podcast Extras

View Details

Valentine's Day is coming up, so let's talk about what it means to be a sexual being, how the world can sometimes take our sexuality away from us, and how we can reclaim it!
Podcast Extras
Sexy Dares
Why I didn't Rebel

View Details

When I surveyed women for one of my books, I asked them to name three things about their body. Most of them really struggled to come up with one, but they had a whole of things they DIDN'T like. So let's talk about how to not just accept our bodies, but to LIKE them. Because after all, they're the ones God gave us!
Podcast Extras

View Details

Let's talk about a big issue we hear about a lot: Sexless marriages. Whether a wife is withholding sex because of her husband's behaviour, because she doesn't enjoy it, or just because she finds it gross, let's figure out why she cut things off, what a healthy sex life should look like, and how to get there!
Podcast Extras

View Details

Something’s wrong in your marriage. So what do you do about it?
This month I’m running my iron sharpens iron series, about how marriage is supposed to make you better people. But it can’t do that if we don’t speak up when things are wrong! So today on the podcast I’m continuing my discussion about how to confront your spouse if something’s bugging you
Podcast Extras
9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage
Submission Podcast

View Details

It's one year this week since I ran my huge Love & Respect series. I've written about how Love & Respect treats sex horribly and harms marriages off and on throughout this last year, since the original week-long series ran. And now, on this one year anniversary, I've been tying up some loose ends, including dropping my 5500 word open letter to Focus on the Family questioning their support of Love & Respect, as we cap off our discussion.
This Episode's Blog Post

View Details

Let's look today at how to draw boundaries and actually see progress in messy areas of marriage. We're in the middle of our iron sharpens iron series on the blog, where I'm talking all month about how marriage is supposed to make us better people. I'm afraid that, too often in marriage, we tolerate small things early in the relationship that then become engrained habits that get worse and worse and worse. By speaking up and doing something about behaviour that is damaging to your spouse, to you, and to the relationship you can help create the kind of marriage you actually want.
9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage
Today's Podcast Extras

View Details

Last January, I read Love and Respect  for the first time, and it was like a bomb had been dropped. I knew I was going to have to talk about it. One thing led to another and 2019 became a pretty big year. So let's recap on some of the big changes and talk about where we are going from here, answering a few reader questions along the way!
Podcast Extras
Productivity Bundle

View Details

Let's talk about what you can do to really get your wife involved and enthusiastic about your bedtime escapades. Because good things come when her pleasure is your focus
Today's Links:
Podcast Extras Post
"Do Not Deprive" Post
Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex

View Details

With Christmas coming up, it's time to talk about something many of us dread: Navigating tricky family dynamics at holiday gatherings. Rebecca, Connor, and I are going to talk about both toxic and non-toxic family situations.
Why I Didn't Rebel
Podcast Extras
When to Walk Away

View Details

So often I hear the sentiment that the reason so many good christian guys are using porn is that their sexual needs are not being met by their wives. Not only is this blaming wives for their husband's sin, but it simply isn't true most of the time. So I am going to talk about this issue and lay down some facts about why porn use starts, how it affects mirriages, and how we can move past it!
Here are the links from today's podcast:
Today's Podcast Extras
Focus on the Family Podcast
Covenant Eyes

View Details

My husband who is a pediatrician joins me on the podcast to address a slew of reader questions about erections. There's really not much more to say than that!
Links:
31 Days to Great Sex
The Whole Story
To Love Honor and Vacuum Blog

View Details

Today let's talk about a very serious topic. With all the cases of pastors and other influential people in church using their power to sexually abuse members of their congregations, and the recent news about Christian comedian, John Crist, I want to talk about how to recognize the patterns and processes of people who are trying to groom others for their own purposes.
Read the Podcast Extras Here
Check out "Get Your Marriage On" Here
Complete My Marriage Survey Here!

View Details

My grandson is 2 weeks old now, so I will be talking with my daughter about the difficulties of the road to recovery after a baby. It's a topic that people often don't talk about, but it is so important to have understanding and compassion for those going through it. On a related note, I also address a reader question about overcoming vaginismus.
Take Our Marriage Survey
See Today's Post

View Details

Today is Halloween and the last Thursday of the month, which means I am once again speaking to you men out there. And this week we are talking about how to start those uncomfortable conversations about sex with your wife when you think you should both be getting more out of your sex life.
Here are the links mentioned in the podcast:
Post "Why Your Husband Wants You to Read This Blog"
To Love Honor and Vacuum
Get Your Marriage On
31 Days to Great Sex

View Details

Today Rebecca and I talk about one of the big ways in which we as women today are making our lives a lot more difficult than they need to be. So let's talk about areas of expertise, social comparisons, and asking for help when we need it.
If you want to read the post that accompanies this episode, head on over to "To Love Honor and Vacuum!"

View Details

Today we are answering reader questions from marriages that are past the honeymoon stage and are now working on sorting life out. One reader asks what to do when your husband won't come to bed with you and stays up playing video games. Another asks if it is wrong to want a great marriage, not just a fine one. And a third reader asks what to do if your husband who is hooked on games wants to buy an Xbox at the same time your child is due!
Links mentioned in the podcast:
Podcast Extras
Last Week's Podcast
Get Your Marriage On
Spicy Dares

View Details

Kicking off October's series on the stages of a sex life, we are addressing a number of issues and questions regarding the beginning of marriage. We will be talking about boundaries during engagement, what to do when the honeymoon years of sex aren't as mindblowing as you expected, and why the best sex is usually had after 15 years of marriage!
As always, check us out on the blog, and to enter my giveaway for 31 Days to Great Sex or the set of Sexy Dares, you just have to sign up for my Newsletter!

View Details

I have had many women asking me to do a podcast for men so they can get their husbands to listen and understand women better. So, starting this week, the last Thursday of each month will be a men's episode called "Start Your Engines." Ladies are of course still welcome to listen in, as it's still relevant for you, but I am speaking more directly to the men here. We start off our first episode giving an overview of the often overlooked differences between male and female sexuality!
I recommend you check out this great app, "Get Your Marriage On"
You can also check out my book, "31 Days to Great Sex"
And as always, check out the podcast extras on my blog!

View Details

This is a long one. Recently, the author of Love and Respect sent out an email to his readers addressing some complaints he often receives about how his teachings from the book are applied. And his response sent up a sea of red flags. So, I have brought my husband on to discuss our issues with it. If you want to check out the blog post that accompanies this podcast, you can find it here. And as always, if you like the podcast, leave a rating and a review!

View Details

What do economics have to do with your sex life? More than you'd think. Today I talk about that in depth, and also address reader questions and comments about how to live with joy together in the middle of the mundane. Finally, Rebecca and I address the criticisms we have received for teaching women how to reduce their risk of being sexually assaulted. Check out the challenge blog post, Mother.ly, and the post for this episode!

View Details

Let's talk about how a seemingly small financial decision can have a domino effect that may create stress in your marriage. Also, how can we use routines without letting them take over our lives? Don't forget to check out the amazing "Get Your Marriage On" app, and check out the blog at To Love Honor and Vacuum!

View Details

We're going to be getting a little academic today as I look at the Greek and the Hebrew used in the Bible to shed some light on the discussion about what it means for the man to be the head of the family. Rebecca and also talk about family support and family boundaries. As always, check us out on To Love Honor and Vacuum!

View Details

I think we often go looking for marriage advice hoping for some easy fix that doesn't really require effort or change. But that's not how to get the most out of marriage. Starting now,  the blog and the podcast will both be focusing on action steps. Each week, I will issue a challenge to help you grow your marriage. Also in this episode, I address a reader question about dating a long-distance woman who lives with a highly restrictive father, and Rebecca gives her thoughts on unhealthy views of female beauty! For more, check us out on my blog here!

View Details

We have had a lot of conversations on the blog about modesty recently, and questions about yoga pants and women who wear revealing outfits at church always come up. In this episode, My daughter, son-in-law, and I go in depth on the topic to break down some of the unhealthy teachings and talk how to build each other up in Christ!
As always, check out the extras on the blog here!

View Details

In light of recent events, I want to talk about the isolation and loneliness pervasive in today's society and address what we can do as individuals, parents, friends, and church members to connect with one another on a more effective level. As always, check out the blog for all of the extras right here!

View Details

This month I am focusing on taking back "sexy", so for today's podcast we are discussing how sexy isn't shameful. My daughter comes on to talk about lingerie that can make you feel sexy and comfortable at the same time. I also talk about how sometimes it would benefit us to adopt a broader approach to our faith rather than to become immobile or ineffective due to a narrow spiritual world-view. Check out the extra's for today's blog post here!

View Details

Today, Joanna, Rebecca, and I talk about some sad recent news in the Christian world and talk about the current status of the purity culture. Check it out on the blog here!

View Details

Sometimes the way we talk about dating and marriage with our kids can seriously hold them back when it comes to finding a good spouse. But there are ways that we can set them up with the tools to succeed when the opportunity arises. Rebecca and Joanna also go on to discuss what to do when your relationship with your college-aged kid starts to become strained. Be sure to check out all the extras on the blog here!

View Details

Today I am on vacation so Rebecca, Connor, and Joanna take over to talk about how putting systems in place can take a lot of the stress out of marriage and how to be sensitive when talking to people about pregnancy. For all the extras, check out the post here!

View Details

Events on the blog lately have woken me up to some of the disturbing realities of our culture, and so I talk with various members of my staff and family about these big issues on my mind recently. If you want all of the extras, check out the post here!

View Details

Today I continue my conversation from the blog about the importance of identifying your and your spouse's emotional needs, and I get into how it can help you resolve conflict. I also address a reader question about how to move forward when you have had an emotional affair with someone outside your marriage, and I also give my boardgame recommendations! Find the link to the emotional needs download, the board game post, and more right here!

View Details

I just released the honeymoon course on my blog this week, so Rebecca and I have been talking about how marriages can get off to a great start, or a not so great start. I also address when and how to have conversations about sex while dating or engaged, and I share my thoughts on masturbation. If you want to check out the honeymoon course, click here! And of course, if you want to check out this podcast's blog post, click here!

View Details

Today, my husband joins me as we talk about how there is often a deeper root to conflict than it first seems. One technique for finding that root is the 5 "why" method. I also address a reader question about the sexual difficulties in her new marriage, and I discuss a revelation I had thanks to a Twitter argument! For more, check out the blog post on To Love Honor and Vacuum!

View Details

Some of our readers have shared some sin checklists and score cards for wives that are being used by their churches as resources for marital counselling. They are both hilarious and concerning, so that is what I, Rebecca, and her husband (Connor) are talking about on today's podcast. To read more, and to take a look at these checklists yourself, visit my website here!

View Details

On the blog I have been talking about sex and theology, so I'd like to bring it all together and take a look at what we can learn from the way God made our bodies, marriage, and sex!
For the podcast extras, check out the post on my blog here
And of course don't forget to check out Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and 9 Thoughts that Can Change Your Marriage!

View Details

In the wake of Rachel Held Evans' passing, Rebecca and I talk about her work and ideas about prioritizing authentic living-in-Christ over strict adherence to doctrine. While different doctrines can be a source of division for Christians, Jesus' universal love ties us all together. And all too often, kids fall away from church because doctrine was the centre rather than a relationship with Christ. Check out my blog, To Love Honor and Vacuum, for podcast extras and more great content!

View Details

Today, my daughter and I talk about gender differences and gender stereotypes. God created man and woman, but culture created masculine and feminine. We address how the ways that we look at masculinity and femininity are restrictive and work against inclusivity. And a strict adherence to gender stereotypes can also really damage our marriages. I also talk about whether it is selfish or frivolous to spend time and energy improving your sex life (I think you know my stance). For all this and more, including a report that we wrote up on the discourse following my Love and Respect posts, check out the podcast extras at To Love Honor and Vacuum!

View Details

I don't think we always talk about forgiveness in a way that is actually helpful. Today I talk about what it really means to heal and move past something. And while I talk about forgiveness, I also address some reader question and comments regarding men lusting after other women, and the harm behind the mentality that every man will have this struggle. Join us on the blog for even further discussion at To Love Honor and Vacuum! I would love to hear your thoughts.

View Details

We talk plenty about men struggling with porn, but today I address the growing number of women who are struggling with it. Rebecca and I also talk about whether to get involved if your child is dating a non-Christian, and how you can make yourself less of a target for sexual harassment from creeps you don't know. All that on today's podcast and more! Also, don't forget to check out the blog if you want more, at tolovehonorandvacuum.com!

View Details

Today I tackle the issue of modesty. We often warn women not to be stumbling blocks for men, and lay the blame for men's lust at their feet, but what if that is actually creating a stumbling block for our women? I also address whether you should fake orgasm every time, and Rebecca and I discuss wedding vows

View Details

All too often, big problems later on in marriage arise as a result of bad habits and poor communication earlier on. Let's talk about how to fix our marriages before they are broken. Rebecca also joins me to talk about why so many Christian women are having trouble finding a husband, and I address dealing with a spouse's sexual history.

View Details

Everyone is sick today, so we have a short episode of Rebecca and Connor talking about the psychological burden of being in charge of chores. They talk about their own journey through sorting out the division of tasks and responsibility, and give some advice on how you can find a healthier balance in your marriage too!

View Details

Today I talk about what I have learned and observed about resolving "conflicts in marriage" and present some insights on a more productive approach. I also talk about some tricks to help you and your spouse communicate love to one another, and Rebecca and I delve into cellphones and the millennial mental health crisis.

View Details

This week we're finishing up our series on how sex should be mutual--including working towards a new definition of sex. I also talk about what to do when a husband in a high-pressure job is too tired for sex, why you might want to reconsider cosleeping, and then Rebecca comes on to talk about what millennials are getting RIGHT! Check out the podcast extras here.

View Details

Today I talk about two small but vital things that can change your marriage from the ground up. Rebecca and I later discuss Dr. Ron Welch's book, 10 Choices Successful Couples Make, and I address some comments and questions from my readers about how society talks about sex, and why women often lose their libidos right before marriage. As always, if you want more you can check out the blog post for extras right here!

View Details

Today we take a look at the do not deprive verses; have we been using them all wrong? I also speak with my daughter about the risks of having a young youth pastor, as well as the critical differences between Christian counselling and biblical counselling. Check out the post here!

View Details

Keeping with the theme of the month on my blog, we talk about sexual health, pelvic floor exams, testosterone levels, and flipping how sex is typically thought of in Christian communities. Speaking of community, my daughter and I talk about why community among millennials seems to be lacking, and what can be done about it. Check out the blog post here!

View Details

Today we talk about how to be a sexually confident woman, mutual sex, and more! My daughter joins me once again to talk about how modern marriage is being done differently in our Millennial Marriage Corner, and she addresses some reader comments about the psychological effects of porn. Check out the post here! Go to Covenant Eyes and use the code "TLHV," or use this link to get your first month free!

View Details

This week we are talking a lot about sex: How to let yourself be in the moment during sex, how to turn off the parts of your brain that distract you from enjoying sex, how to deepen intimacy with your partner, and how and when to try changing things up a bit. I also talk with my daughter about the student loan crisis and how college and university students can combat lifelong debt through their lifestyle! You can also check out the post that accompanies the podcast over at https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/02/podcast-hot-and-holy-sex/

View Details

Today we talk about what it means when you say you regret having kids, why it's important to take our thoughts captive, how and when to rebuild trust after an affair, and more.
My daughter and I also take about the issue of millennials falling away from church. Tune in to hear it all, or go check out the post on my site: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/01/podcast-you-dont-get-to-be-selfish

View Details

How can we create conditions for a thriving marriage? Can we actually find more joy by cutting out the time wasters in our life? Does "Love and Respect" actually point us toward Jesus? Today we  will be talking about all this and more, including a guest appearance from my son-in-law and daughter to talk about how they handled video-games in their marriage. To read the post for this episode check out my site, To Love Honor and Vacuum!

View Details

Today I take a really critical look at the Christian bestselling book "Love and Respect," giving you my opinion on some of the harmful messages it puts forward. Later, I talk about how divorce affects kids, what to do if your husband ogles other women, and I sit down with my daughter to discuss "Tidying Up with Marie Kondo." Check out the post for this episode here!

View Details

Welcome to the new To Love Honor and Vacuum Podcast! Today we are talking about creating healthy habits, the problem with mommy "mommy wine culture," and more! You can listen on my blog at https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/01/our-first-to-love-honor-and-vacuum-podcast/