Curious Conversations About Sex: Recent Episodes
Roger Butler (Curious Creatures)
About sex, relationships, communication, psychology, kink, polyamory, body-positivity, and gender-positivity.
In the first episode of this trilogy we zoomed out at some overall benefits and problems of gender-separate spaces, and separatism generally. In this second episode we go deep into the details — the specific, often-overlooked drawbacks that can come with them, and that we need to solve.
I walk through eight particular problems that tend to arise when we do our psychological work, support, self-development, or political conversation in spaces that deliberately exclude one gender. These include:
- The quiet message that only people of our own gender are safe
- The slide into “all of them against all of us” thinking
- The one-sided lens that distorts how we see the world
- Missing each other’s stories (and then wondering why the other side doesn’t understand us)
- Reinforcing the very gender categories we say we want to move beyond
- Making it harder to share gendered privileges
- And creating the conditions for radicalisation
I also examine twelve of the most common reasons in favour of gender-separate spaces — things like safety, comfort, therapy needs, shared experience, and more — and offer careful responses to each.
The goal isn’t to eradicate single-gender spaces. It’s to help us participate in them (or design them) with clearer eyes, so the benefits stay while the unintended costs shrink.
What are your thoughts on this? What do you agree with, and disagree with? What did we get wrong? What did we leave out? We want to hear from you, over on X: https://x.com/Pan_Political
Support Pan-Political on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/curiousconversationsaboutsex Your support helps me continue creating thoughtful, in-depth episodes without compromise. Thank you!
In this first episode of a three-part series, we explore gender separate spaces and separatism as a way of being in the world. Rog acknowledges how deeply important these spaces are for many people — offering safety, connection, identity, and rich personal development. They're clear from the start: this isn’t a call to abolish them. Instead, they gently examine the often-unspoken drawbacks that can arise when we lean too heavily into separation.
Through two powerful stories — one historical about women’s fight for access to male-dominated institutions in the mid-20th century, and one personal from a self-development festival — Rog shows how one-sided narratives can split communities along gender lines, even when everyone’s intentions are good. They define what counts as a gender-separate space for this conversation, look at the very different legal and funding realities for women’s versus men’s groups in Australia, and explores how bubbles and propaganda-like filtering can radicalise even well-meaning people on both sides.
The episode also highlights a painful modern trap: the cultural message that men need to develop more emotional and relational skills, while at the same time being told to “figure it out yourselves” or risk being labelled if they form their own spaces. It’s a compassionate, data-informed, and deeply personal look at why the easiest choice for individuals (staying in our own groups) can sometimes work against the egalitarian, connected society many of us say we want.
This is edgy territory, handled with warmth and care for everyone in the room.
What are your thoughts on this? What do you agree with, and disagree with? What did we get wrong? What did we leave out? We want to hear from you, over on X: https://x.com/Pan_Political
Support Pan-Political on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/curiousconversationsaboutsex Your support helps me continue creating thoughtful, in-depth episodes without compromise. Thank you!
Show Notes
What if the way we’ve been talking about toxic masculinity is actually making the problem worse? In this episode, we take a compassionate, evidence-based look at where toxic expressions of masculinity really come from — and how understanding the root causes gives us practical ways to reduce harm for everyone. No blame games, just honest conversation that cares about all genders.
We start by exploring the two common stories people tell about toxic masculinity. The first blames men themselves. The second looks at life experiences and the supports (or lack of them) that shape how people respond. Using data like Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) scores, research on inherent bias, and real-world examples, we show what's happening behind the scenes.
The result? A simple but powerful formula: tough experiences multiplied by limited support roughly equals higher risk of toxic behaviour. When women face similar unsupported hardship, we see parallel patterns — just expressed differently. This isn’t about competing victimhood; it’s about recognising that if we truly care about women’s safety and equality, we must also create better conditions for men to thrive emotionally. Everyone wins.
Throughout, we weave in personal stories, data transparency, and a good dose of hope. The episode ends with 12 practical action outcomes — from making space for men’s issues in gender conversations to treating all people with the same compassion, regardless of gender. Because real equality means caring about everyone in the room.
If this reframes how you think about yourself or gender for the better, please share it with someone else who might need it. And if the ideas here resonate, consider supporting the show on Patreon — every bit helps keep these balanced, thoughtful conversations going.
Follow us on X: https://x.com/Pan_Political
We would love to hear your thoughts on this episode! Leave a comment on this specific thread on X, and we may respond in a future episode: https://x.com/Pan_Political/status/2063834587449442449
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/curiousconversationsaboutsex
Hey friends, welcome to this heartfelt chat about gender equality that actually works for everyone. If you've been feeling uneasy with the one-sided shouting matches—whether from traditional feminism or men's rights spaces—this episode is for you. We explore how both women and men face real struggles, share stories that humanise the data, and point toward a balanced, compassionate way forward that cares about every person's pain and potential.
No villains here—just people shaped by their experiences, trying to navigate a messy world. We mix solid research, light humour, and personal reflections to show why caring about all genders leads to better outcomes for families, workplaces, and society. It's edgy in its honesty, but wrapped in warmth and hope. Let's build something kinder together.
Follow us on X: https://x.com/Pan_Political
Welcome to Pan-Political — a podcast exploring what the next wave of the gender equality movement needs to consider.
In this opening episode, I explain the vision behind Pan-Political: a world where no one is judged or limited by their gender, where everyone has genuine equality of opportunity, and where we move beyond sexism, gendered violence, and unnecessary gendered patterns.
I contrast the current mainstream approaches to gender issues with a pan-political lens — one that cares deeply about the realities faced by all genders, rather than focusing primarily on one. I use an example that shows that our current understandable but reactionary approaches may actually be making things worse.
I also introduce the term “pan-political”, explain what it means, and share a little about my own background and why I’ve decided to dedicate this next chapter to these ideas.
Content warnings: None, although violence is discussed in a non-graphic way.
If you’ve been following my previous work, thank you for joining me on this new journey. The feed has been redirected, and fresh Pan-Political content is coming.
Support the Podcast If these ideas resonate with you and you’d like to help keep the conversation going, I’d be incredibly grateful for your support. Even a small monthly contribution makes a real difference.
👉 Support Pan-Political on Patreon
Your support helps me continue creating thoughtful, in-depth episodes without compromise. Thank you!
Share this episode with someone who might find it valuable!
Thank you for listening. I look forward to exploring these important ideas with you.
Links referred to in episode are below and also at https://www.curiouscreatures.biz/ Temporarily taking a break from gender, getting back to sex. Today, interview with Isiah McKimmie, from podcast ‘Your Patients Are Having Sex’: https://isiah-mckimmie.com/blog-podcast/ Topics: Sexuality and kink from a therapist’s perspective. This is not related to the course I recently ran with Process Work […]
LINKS: All links are on Curious Creatures website: https://www.curiouscreatures.biz/ Our Patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/curiousconversationsaboutsex Rog’s course on sexuality for therapists: https://www.processwork.edu/a-therapists-guide-to-sexuality-taboos-and-kink-with-roger-butler-sept-2025-online-course/ The free one-hour webinar taste-tester for above course: https://community.processwork.org/posts/explore-free-on-demand-video-a-therapists-guide-to-sexuality-taboos-and-kink-with-roger-butler NOTES: This is the second part of a recording made in July, 2025, following the first nine episodes of the Pan-Political series. It reviews each […]
LINKS: All links are on Curious Creatures website: https://www.curiouscreatures.biz/ Our Patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/curiousconversationsaboutsex Next show recording you can attend (13/8/2025): https://www.facebook.com/events/1241395087140046 Rog’s course on sexuality for therapists: https://www.processwork.edu/a-therapists-guide-to-sexuality-taboos-and-kink-with-roger-butler-sept-2025-online-course/ NOTES: This is a recording made in July, 2025, following the first nine episodes of the Pan-Political series. It reviews each episode, adds ideas around what future-focused […]
Links: https://www.curiouscreatures.biz/ This is an interview, a conversation, and a bit more information about an upcoming course you might be interested in. I’m being interviewed by James Boutin, who’s with Process Work International. In partnership with them, the course I’m running in September is called “Interpreting and Understanding Sexuality, Kinks, and Fetishes”. This conversation covers […]
Show-notes are below… Links: Curious Creatures: https://www.curiouscreatures.biz/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/curiousconversationsaboutsex Live show: https://www.facebook.com/events/1034160991497938/ Course for therapists: https://www.processwork.edu/a-therapists-guide-to-sexuality-taboos-and-kink-with-roger-butler-sept-2025-online-course/ Mila Gaca’s Intro to Process Work: https://community.processwork.org/posts/beginners-toolkit-june-10-17-24-learn-essential-processwork-concepts-and-skills-with-mila-gaca Show-notes: Okay, so what’s the potential conclusion and ways forward from here? What might the next wave of the gender movement look like, and why’s this series called “pan-political”? Why do you […]
Show-notes and links on our website: https://www.curiouscreatures.biz/curiousconversationsaboutsex_podcast.html (Sorry, too many to fit here!) I’d like to give you an update on this podcast, Pan-Political, an upcoming live show, upcoming courses, Patreon, and why I stopped Curious Creatures’ old workshops (spoiler: can’t say much).
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/curiousconversationsaboutsex Why is this ‘Pan-Political’ perspective so different to the mainstream of gender equality thinking? How could anyone have not noticed that in this world, the evidence overwhelmingly shows that women and minority genders suffer, and men have extreme advantages? How come almost every article you read, and almost every gender expert, agrees that […]
In this episode, we explore two separate questions: Is the world built, shaped, or referenced, around male sexuality? If it is, then why is it so easy to find so many complaints about men and sexuality? First, we rigorously (and often humorously) explore the ways that the world is, and isn’t, built around male sexuality. […]
Is there a wage gap? …It seems overwhelmingly likely that there is. But what causes it? …Here’s where things get interesting. Traditional thinking tells us it’s from a devaluing or outright hatred of women – or a prioritizing of men – that happens almost fractally from the individual level, through to the whole-of-society level. The […]
So… What, exactly, is the Patriarchy? Who, exactly is in it? What is its purpose, and how’s it going against its Key Performance Indicators? Do we at some stage get to participate in some kind of a review process? Is there a way we can get involved, and maybe change it from the inside? Is […]
The default assumption is that a lot of the work we need to do to move forwards, needs to be done in gender-separate spaces. Without a doubt, a lot of great work happens in those spaces. Intriguing questions remain, however, around how we hold these spaces in a way that ensures they have positive outcomes […]
What exactly do we mean when we say ‘toxic masculinity’?
Where did it come from? (Hint: Closer to home than you think).
More importantly, what’s keeping it going? What do we need to do to stop it?
Can toxic masculinity, as a concept, lead us to world peace? Can it solve the gender war while it’s there? (Answer: Hell yes it can).
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Today, we take the useful but politicised and weaponised perspective of privilege, and turn it into and even more useful perspective that leads us to understanding, peace, and solutions.
We start with a review of the current state of thinking, and articulate how that leads us to The Great Privilege Paradox. From there, we add nuance and complexity in a way that doesn’t negate our current thinking, but adds to it. We show how playfully tossing around the concept of privilege can make for great self-awareness, and we show that things are oh so much more nuanced than most people think.
A promise: No-one will get whacked over the head with a privilege-stick in this episode.
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The gender revolution is one of the most important changes that’s ever happened in human culture. Its core intentions, its core missions, are undeniably needed.
Now that we’re 70 years into it, in some areas the gender revolution continues to progress. However, in other areas progress has slowed or stalled. Worse, in some areas we’re going backwards. After 70 years, the finish line is nowhere in sight.
I believe it’s time we considered why our progress is faltering, and what needs to change to bring about the next wave of the movement. At the broadest level, I suggest that historically we’ve mostly focussed on articulating and dealing with the problems after they’ve happened – what we need to do now is shift our attention to what’s causing the problems in the first place. This is going to take us into some radical and sometimes uncomfortable new territory, but it will lead us more directly to the just world we seek.
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Well this is a rollicking romp of a conversation, in three parts.
I’m chatting with Dr Elliot, from https://myfirmtech.com/. Links are in the shownotes. Dr Elliot Justin has a background in emergency medicine, more recently specialising in sex and technology.
We started by having a chat about his product lines, which might be of a slightly narrower range of interest compared to what we normally cover, and it’s a bit more commercially-oriented than the usual vibe we go for here.
Then, about 24 mins in, we move into what I found to be a really interesting conversation about the broader future of AI and sex toys, which ranges from flights of fancy through to downright depressing. And you know how much I love the stuff others think of as depressing.
Finally, the last third is the conversation you have after you’ve recorded what you think you’re going to use, but then it turns out to be at least as interesting as what you were meant to be talking about. So I’ve left it in.
When I was recording it, I was going to chop things around and put the future-focussed philosophical stuff first, because I thought that the initial product info would be too narrow-cast.
But listening back, I think there might actually be something there for everyone, so I’m just going to leave the whole thing unedited, including the bit at the end that’s not meant to exist.
So here’s a conversation about cock rings, clitoris monitoring devices, health and heart-care, the future of robots and AI, the end of the species, and the problems with taking on an algorithm for happiness and hand-jobs. Good luck with that.
One word of warning: Generally, I try to avoid letting through language that assumes that people of a given gender have any particular genital type, as way of making the content inclusive.
In some ways, today’s show is a fail on that front. At the same time, there is some information here about how these products are very useful from a trans perspective, and it’s spoken about appropriately.
So, in some ways, today’s show is a win.
Australian distributors: melissa@rshealth.com.au
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I’m still here. I still love you.
Since we last spoke, a lot of extraordinary things happened, resulting in me stopping workshops kind of abruptly, and selling The Practice Lab.
I will probably say more about all of that in a future episode, but for now, perhaps as a down-payment on some of that, let’s listen back all the way to 2017, with Barbara Carrellas and Cyndi Darnell.
So I’ll probably do an episode about that.
And I’m planning on doing a whole bunch of episodes after that on where I think the gender movement needs to go. Quietly excited.
But in truth, I’m doing one step at a time at the moment, and I have no idea what’s next. It’s ace. You should maybe try it. Or not.
But if you’re wondering if I’m dropping the podcast… At least at this point in time, no. Our love would appear to be safe, to the extent that love can ever be considered safe.
Rog from Curious Creatures is joined by:
Barbara Carrellas – World renowned author, workshop therapist, coach, adviser and speaker. Barbara has written many books, including the revolutionary ‘Urban Tantra’ and ‘Ecstasy is Necessary’. Find her at www.barbaracarrellas.com.
Cyndi Darnell – Therapist, facilitator, author and speaker. Cyndi has been a committed leader within the field of sexuality for decades and offers powerful therapeutic assistance in all matters related to sexuality and relationships. Find her at www.cyndidarnell.com.
Curious Creatures can be found at www.curiouscreatures.biz.
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Today, we’re chatting about gender, and how your identity is influenced by the events you experience in your life. The conversation is especially interested in how minority genders such as non-binary and trans identities are formed, and how there’s healthy and less than healthy ways that plays out.
My guest is Avgi Saketopoulou, who along with Ann Pellegrini, has recently written a book called “Gender without Identity”.
Gender Without Identity on Amazon: www.amazon.com.au/GENDER-WITHOUT-IDENTITY-Avgi-Saketopoulou/dp/1942254199
Curious Creatures: www.curiouscreatures.biz/
Curious Creatures forum: forum.curiouscreatures.biz/
Consent Cards: www.curiouscreatures.biz/consentcards.html.
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Today, we talking about the Death Cult Club, Lomi Lomi, and Integrated Oncology with Alice Peebles. It includes a couple of side-journeys around consent and trauma-informed practice, and touches on Alice’s and Rog’s personal Death Cult Club Goals.
Oh, and some tips on how you can start your own Death Cult Club!
Links:
Alice’s Lomi Lomi practice (Upwey, Melbourne, Australia): www.blisstitute.com/vic-practitioners-lomilomi-massage
Melbourne Integrative Oncology Group: www.miog.com.au/meet-the-miog-team.html
Curious Creatures / Curious Conversations About Sex: www.curiouscreatures.biz/
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Today, answering the question, of what to do when things go wrong – especially when you’re topping.
To answer it, I’m back with Seani Love, an award-winning sex-worker and workshop facilitator. The conversation comes across like you’ve walked in on a couple of kinky therapists having a chat, which is precisely what it is – a nuanced deep-dive into exactly what emotional safety looks like in practice, from a couple of folks that have made mistakes and learned from them.
You can find Seani at www.seanilove.com.
Curious Creatures: www.curiouscreatures.biz
Curious Creatures forum: forum.curiouscreatures.biz
Consent Cards: www.curiouscreatures.biz/consentcards.html.
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Lee Harrington, who’s been on the show a couple of times previously, has recently written the book “Becoming Your Own Beloved”. It’s a wild investment in yourself, and a radical piece of activism against some modern dilemmas. Lee and Rog talk self-care, gender, lateral violence in minority gender groups, and some good old life philosophy. […]
Today, I’m doing a reaction video to a Jordan Peterson interview, except without the video. So I’m just having a reaction, I guess. In the original interview, which I’ll link to in the shownotes, Jordan is speaking about sex, consent, and sex outside of marriage. On top of that, I want to add another couple […]
Today, we’re chatting with Joli about jealousy – how it’s an awesome thing waiting to happen, what to put in place to avoid unnecessary amounts of it, how it pairs with attachment styles, and how to talk about it. Also, a bunch of thoughts on starting poly, navigating poly, and some relationship ideas that are good for mono and poly styles.Joli Hamilton can be found at https://www.jolihamilton.com/Link to two-day workshop ‘Adventurous Touch and Intimacy’: https://www.curiouscreatures.biz/adventurous-touch-and-intimacy.htmlLink to the Curious Creatures forum: https://forum.curiouscreatures.biz/Link to Consent Cards: https://www.curiouscreatures.biz/consentcards.htmlhttp://conversationsaboutsex.curiouscreatures.biz/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/CCAS-Ep-83-Joli-Jealousy.mp3
A revisit of comments Rog made in the last episode, particularly around a criticism of the grass-roots Christian movement. (This is one of those rare times where we strongly recommend you listen to that episode first).
Link to two-day workshop ‘Adventurous Touch and Intimacy’: www.curiouscreatures.biz/adventurous-touch-and-intimacy.html
Link to the Curious Creatures forum: forum.curiouscreatures.biz/
Link to Consent Cards: www.curiouscreatures.biz/consentcards.html
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Today, we’re getting back to our journalistic roots, and exposing one of Australia’s biggest sex scandals. You might be wondering why an otherwise light and accessible sexuality podcast would venture into such territory, however the editorial team here at Curious Conversations About Sex felt that if we’re to explore the positive elements of sex, then perhaps it’s important that we provide a contextual reference point regarding what you might regard as the dark underbelly of the movement.
The most wild thing about the sex scandal that we’re delving into today, is that it’s been happening in plain sight, right under your nose… for decades. By exploiting a legal grey area and posing as something that it clearly isn’t, it’s managed to somehow avoid the attention of regulators, law enforcement, and a largely unsuspecting public… Until now.
Link to Two-Day Immersion Version of Adventurous Touch And Intimacy: https://www.curiouscreatures.biz/adventurous-touch-and-intimacy-2-day.html
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Today, I’ve hand-selected a bonus episode for you.
It’s from the podcast ‘Come As You Are’, and it’s about your hardware – by which I mean, your genitals, junk, hoo-har, your funky fandangle, whatever it is you call it.
More specifically, it’s about how all of our genitals have things in common, and how we all get formed from the same stock. I love that stuff, how it breaks down a lot of the idea that we’re like completely separate and incomparable creatures, based on our genitals, with no experiences or problems in common.
The episode starts with a listener calling in to ask about their partner’s bent dick, but it quickly expands out to include other genital configurations in a nice and body-positive way.
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Today, I’m having a fast and exciting conversation with Fiona Patten, who leads the Australian Reason Party. We get into politics, sex, gender equality, and collaboration as an alternative to the adversarial political system. Oh, and we touch on assisted dying, drug legalisation, and a bunch of other stuff. What stands out for me about […]
I’ve been going on a lot lately about the way porn winds up being sex education if there’s no other sex education available, and how that’s sometimes a good thing and sometimes maybe not such a good thing. So I thought it would be great to go back and listen to this episode from 2019 […]
Today, I’m being interviewed by Steve from the Choose Love Podcast. Since he was interviewing me, some of it’s about me and how I came to be doing what I do… Then from there, we launch into what’s going on for most people in the world of sex, how sex education is meeting our needs […]
This is the no-bullshit, all honesty, useful sex education that most teenagers never receive, myself included.
I would like to see if I can blow your mind, at least a little bit, regarding unsolicited dick-pics. Actually, what’s happening in this episode, is that you get to listen in on a conversation I had with two people, where I set about blowing their minds about dick-pics – about the phenomenal circumstances that […]
I’ve got great news… this podcast is back, baby! I’m looking forward to being back in your ears, starting with a cracker of a conversation in about a week. In the meanwhile, I’m going to pop in a bonus episode from our friends over at Pushkin. It’s the first episode from a podcast of theirs […]
Things are busy, as we come out of lockdown. This episode is an update about that. In short, Curious Conversations About Sex is taking a break. We suggest just leaving us subscribed in your feed, and at some stage in the future, we hope to be in your ears again.
Today, we’re looking into Restorative Justice again; this is the second in a two-part series, and I hate to do this to you, but I need you to go back and listen to the previous episode, if you haven’t already. Seriously, a bunch of stuff in the following episode won’t make sense, and I’m worried […]
Today, we’re listening back to the first of two episodes from 2019, on Restorative Justice. I’ve chosen these episodes to listen to again because I got a lot of positive feedback from other listeners about these episodes – to which I’d add that they’re two of my faves, too. At the end, I’ll provide a […]
Tess and I created the workshop ‘Opening Up To Opening Up’, as a deep-dive into the world of non-monogamy. We’ve had a think about which bits might be interesting here on the podcast, and would like to share with you the chapters on mythbusting, agreements, and jealousy. A lot of this stuff is relevant to […]
Okay. Today, we’re angling in the general direction of getting more insight around a very juicy topic. To do that, I’m going to give you some of the theory from one of my workshops, called “Playing with the cards you’ve been dealt”. I promise, this is not a teaser, where you then have to pay […]
Sex and cancer. If you think this doesn’t apply to you, you’re almost certainly wrong. About one in two, or maybe one in three of us, will have cancer at some stage in our lives. But almost all of us will have someone close to us get cancer, and so will find ourselves as partners […]
Today, we’re dropping back in on an episode from 2017, on the question of whether or not consent is sexy. The background, btw, is that in trying to sell the idea of consent, for most of the last 50 years we’ve taken a perspective of using the stick, rather than the carrot; we’ve said “Do […]
I wrote a book, and I’m going to read some of it to you today. It’s got nothing to do with sex, but it’s on a topic I know many of you find interesting. It’s called ‘Success for Slackers’, and it’s about how to come up with a business or a role that’s good for […]
Today, I want to share with you some ideas on how to have an ‘altered states’ date. From a psychological perspective, an altered state is a state of mind that is different from whatever you regard as your normal. It means that the way your mind is working, or the way you’re feeling, is somehow […]
Today, I’m being interviewed by the crew from Off The Cuffs, which is a podcast with a focus on bdsm and the lifestyle around it. These folks are funny – I like them. Their names are Dick-Wound, Minimus Maximus, and Lexual Romance. The conversation covers one of my favorite kinks – bum-drumming, kinky scenes as […]
Today, we’re listening back to one of our most popular – and adventurous – episodes from early 2019: Kissing. What do you like, and not like, about kissing? How good are you at training a new person in how to kiss you? More importantly, how do you feel about training this person that’s in front […]
Today, I’m having a spirited conversation with Georgie Wolf. You’ve heard her on the show before, because she’s 68 different kinds of awesome. When I say, “I’m having a conversation with Georgie”, what I actually mean, is, “Georgie is having a conversation with me”. She recorded this for her podcast, which is called the Art […]
We’ve been getting a few questions lately about agreements in polyamory – and since it’s a topic we covered way back in 2017, today we’ll be listening back to that episode. With Rog are two sex educators and polyamory specialists, Anne Hunter and Dossie Easton. You should definitely check out Dossie’s book, ‘The Ethical Slut’, […]
Today, I’m finally doing something I’ve been wanting to do for ages. If you’ve ever been to one of our in-person or online Socials, you’ll already be familiar with what I call Q&A, where one person asks a question, then each person takes turns to answer. We’re about to do that here, with four sex […]
Today, I’m finally doing something I’ve been wanting to do for ages. If you’ve ever been to one of our in-person or online Socials, you’ll already be familiar with what I call Q&A, where one person asks a question, then each person takes turns to answer. We’re about to do that here, with four sex […]
Today, we’re listening back to an episode from 2017, where a listener asks for advice on how to become a dom. For those of you not in the kink scene, the word ‘dom’ is short for dominant, which is actually surprisingly hard to define, but you might say: The dominant is the person that’s steering, […]
Rog and Tess, from Curious Creatures, are interviewed about all sorts of relationship things including – but not limited to – polyamory. Links that were mentioned… Tess, Connectable Therapies: https://www.connectabletherapies.com/ Joy FM radio station: https://joy.org.au/ Triple bi-pass show / podcast: https://joy.org.au/triplebipass/ PolyVic: https://polyvic.herokuapp.com/ Workshop ‘Opening Up To Opening Up’: https://www.curiouscreatures.biz/opening-up-to-opening-up.html Curious Creatures mailing list: https://www.curiouscreatures.biz/contact.html
We start by talking a little about a potential solution to the problem of social isolation. Then, we move into a talk that Rog gave at The Weekly Service, on how Curious Creatures came into being, the Consent Cards, Ethics and advertising, sex and capitalism, deep-dive into consent in practice, faking orgasms, higher and lower […]
Today’s topic, is about gender, and your gender identity. Welcome to one of the most confusing, and consistently misunderstood topics… in the world. We’re going to walk through a structure – a way of thinking about gender identity – that will likely help with your understanding of yourself, and also those around you. Today’s episode […]
Today, we’re listening again to an episode from early 2017, responding to the question of “What’s your number one sex move?”. To tackle this, I’m chatting with Maureen Matthews, and Cath Carter. Maureen writes a column in the Sunday Age, called ‘About Last Night’. And Cath, up until her death earlier this year, was a […]
Today, we’re chatting with Myola Woods, who’s a sexuality specialist from Sydney, Australia. She’ll be in Melbourne from Feb 26-29, presenting five workshops, all of which you can find at curiouscreatures.biz. Myola can be found at www.eroticcoaching.com.au
Today, I’m going to share with you an episode of Georgie Wolf’s podcast, where she interviews me on the slightly vexed question of who’s got it easier in the pickup game; men, or women. It’s a wide-ranging, interesting, and juicy conversation. Georgie’s podcast is called The Art of the Hookup, which relates to a book […]
Today, we’re chatting with Jessica Drake. Jessica’s big in the world of porn and sex-work, which, along with her own life story, has given her some fascinating perspectives on sex and sex education. We get into all sorts of details about the difference between entertainment porn and education porn, and how a lack of proper […]
You might recall, back at the end of 2018, we did an episode called ‘secrets from inside a sex-party community’. It was all about what it’s like to attend an event I run called Curiosity, which is hard to describe… But essentially, I guess it fits in the category of ‘sex party’. That episode was […]
This episode is all about how to recover and restore trust, when there’s been some form of relationship abuse in the past. When we first aired this conversation, in 2017, a number of people asked for specific and practical things that they could do with a partner or client who’s in the process of recovering. […]
Today, come and join Georgie Wolf and Rog (from Curious Creatures) on the couch for an intimate and honest chat about sex-work. Links relevant to the show: Georgie Wolf’s book, The Art of the Hookup, is at https://www.artofthehookup.com/about-the-book/. Their client coaching services are at https://www.georgiewolf.com/escort-client-coaching-sessions/. Tess’s and Rog’s non-monogamy workshop, Opening Up To Opening Up: […]
Rog, from Curious Creatures https://www.curiouscreatures.biz/, presents a spoken-word piece about the ongoing effects and impacts of things that happened a long time ago. As well as some more current-day dilemmas.
This is one of the great myths about sex – that our sexuality is essentially a wild, out of control beast waiting to consume us whole, the moment we let it off its leash. We have been taught, from so many places, to keep it locked down and not explore our interests. Which begs a […]
Today, we’re looking into Restorative Justice again; this is the second in a two-part series, and I hate to do this to you, but I need you to go back and listen to the previous episode, if you haven’t already. Seriously, a bunch of stuff in the following episode won’t make sense, and I’m worried […]
Today, we’re talking about one of the only sources of hope, in an area most of us generally feel pretty hopeless about. When sexual assault occurs, it often changes the lives of the people that are directly involved, and also those around them. It’s like a pivotal event, a moment in time, that patterns everything […]
What do you like, and not like, about kissing? How good are you at training a new person in how to kiss you? More importantly, how do you feel about training this person that’s in front of you, right now, in how to kiss you? They’re the questions Rog (from Curious Creatures) and Isiah McKimmie […]
Today, we’re having another listen to a conversation with two of the world’s best sex educators and prioneers, about how to introduce more interesting sex into a relationship. My first guest is Cyndi Darnell, who is an educator and counsellor based in New York. She’s available for sessions via video conferencing. My second guest is […]
Is there an art to the act of the hookup? Is it about more than the right outfit, the right opening line, and a bucket of fuck-luck? And what’s all this talk about self-development, and solutions to the world’s problems? On this episode, Rog (from Curious Creatures) interviews Georgie Wolf, author of a book called […]
I get asked a lot of questions about what it’s like to go to a sex-party, and in particular, the one I run, called Curiosity. So to answer your questions, I interviewed four regular Curiosity participants about their experiences, and they offer you a very candid and honest perspective into the little world of sex […]
Today, Seani Love, award winning sex-worker and sex educator, is back with us. The question we’re tackling gets us into all sorts of interesting spots, such as the process of undoing gender conditioning and socialisation, removing the link between being attractive and being sexy, and a few reflections on the nature of the industry. And […]
This show’s for pretty much anyone that’s been in a long-term relationship, and had to tackle any of the sex-life challenges that life throws up. Such as busy work lives, health issues, or pregnancy and early parenthood. Focussing on the latter, this episode is all about navigating our often fickle sex lives while preparing for […]
Today, we’re switching! Rog (from Curious Creatures) is being interviewed by someone else. Well, sort of; there’s a bit of topping from the bottom going on. Oops. You may remember Isiah McKimmie from a few episodes back; they chatted about safer sex. It was such fun, that they wanted to interview me about oral sex […]
What a ripper of a question today. Big thanks to Greg for hitting us up with this one. To answer it, I’m back with Seani Love, an award-winning sex-worker and workshop facilitator. The conversation comes across like you’ve walked in on a couple of kinky therapists having a chat, which is precisely what it is […]
Today, we’ve got the second part of a conversation with Lee Harrington and Euphemia Rustle about all sorts of things to do with gender. And in particular, how we can all get along more, regardless of how long we’ve been immersed in gender-diverse thinking. We’re pretty much just going to drop you in in the […]
…From there, this conversation rolls into topics relating to trans and queer identities, how we as individuals cope with a world that doesn’t always understand our identities, and how much things have evolved. All this, without creating the illusion that there’s one simple answer to these questions, that we all agree on. Because there’s not. […]
In this adventurous conversation with sex-worker and workshop facilitator Seani Love, the conversations draws many parallels and connections between therapy and kink. This is a conversation deep in the details of how to use kink for liberation and empowerment in a way that probably isn’t for everyone, but can do laps around ‘talk therapy’ when […]
Today, we’ve got the third of a three-part conversation about safer sex. Issiah McKimmie and I continue chatting about the detailed pragmatics, as well as the broader communication and psychological issues. We start with dental dams, move onto safer sex strategies for kinky play, and finish on the role of shame in STI conversations. Isiah […]
This is the second of a three-part conversation I had with Issiah McKimmie. The last one was all about safer sex practices as they relate to kissing, manual stimulation, and oral sex. Now, we’re going to dive right in to genital-genital contact, and also some tips on safer sex in kinky play. Bear in mind […]
Today we’ve got the 1st of three parts of a conversation I had with Issiah McKimmie. It started out being about how to do safer sex, but, y’know how these things go… It pretty much just wound up being about sex and communication and a whole bunch of jokes as we got deeper into the […]
Wow. What could possibly go wrong with this sweet, simple little question? This conversation takes in everything from the mundane (such as giving yourself three days after writing an email before clicking ‘send’) through to the profound (such as how the question inspires an existential crisis and pleas to Buddha). Getting sometimes confused and humble, […]
In this episode (the final in a three-part series), Aerie (from Blue Velvet Arts) and Rog (from Curious Creatures) go through the questions on the Curious Creatures Consent Cards in detail. New and old players alike will find plenty in the way of juicy perspectives and personal stories about lessons learned the hard way. The […]
In this episode (second in three-part series), Aerie (from Blue Velvet Arts) and Rog (from Curious Creatures) go through the questions on the Curious Creatures Consent Cards in detail. New and old players alike will find plenty in the way of juicy perspectives and personal stories about lessons learned the hard way. The questions, are: […]
In this episode, Aerie (from Blue Velvet Arts) and Rog (from Curious Creatures) go through the questions on the Curious Creatures Consent Cards in detail. New and old players alike will find plenty in the way of juicy perspectives and personal stories about lessons learned the hard way. The questions, are: How are we doing? […]
Discuss: Consent is not ‘sexy’; consent is a human right. You either have it, or you don’t, and saying it’s sexy confuses the issues. To discuss this topic, Rog (from Curious Creatures) is joined by: Dossie Easton – author of The Ethical Slut (and various other progressive sexuality books), and counselor and relationships coach based […]
Want to hear some really good, genuine, down-to-earth players talk about what they think makes for a good dominant? …Tune in to this one folks, for some of the most smoothly delivered and honest appraisals of what power-play is all about. Rog from Curious Creatures is joined by: Aerie, from Blue Velvet Arts, who runs […]
What’s your number one sex move? Is it a little wriggle with your finger at the right time? Something you do with your tongue? Or something entirely psychological? To answer this question, Rog from Curious Creatures is joined by: Cath Carter: Renowned sex therapist, counselor, and couples and singles coach. Cath has been in the […]
Getting deep into the subtleties of polyamory (and open-relationships and non-monogamy, generally), tune in to get the combined wisdom of 70 years of combined experience! This conversation goes into the subtle ways we sometimes use agreements to control one another, or avoid facing what we don’t want to see within ourselves. It also includes information […]
In a conversation including consent (for a change!), safety, techniques, and the psychology of the way different people learn, Rog from Curious Creatures is joined by: Aerie, from Blue Velvet Arts, who runs accessible and fun workshops on kink and communication in Melbourne, Australia. Beejay, from Eagle Leather (in Abbotsford, Melbourne) – for all your […]
Does sex denial work well as sex education? Can you rely on what your schoolmates tell you in lieu of sex education? When did you first learn about ‘consent’, and that some of what had been happening to you was ‘non-consent’? Was it embarrassing, when you realised that what you’d learned from porn was partly […]
What follows is a very special conversation about Vaginismus, from the very personal perspective of three people with direct experience of the condition. Their stories are at times focussed around practical solutions that have worked for them, but mostly the therapeutic and interpersonal nature of their experience. They’re not claiming to be experts on the […]
This is one of the great myths about sex – that our sexuality is essentially a wild, out of control beast waiting to consume us whole, the moment we let it off its leash. We have been taught, from so many places, to keep it locked down and not explore our interests. Which begs a […]
This conversation takes in aspects of sexuality that are important to everyone, but especially relevant to those of us that are aging (or planning to do so in the future). Topics range from body positivity, to theoretical constructs around sexuality, to beautifully frank and specific suggestions and strategies. Rog, from Curious Creatures, is joined by […]
Why is violence suddenly meant to be okay if someone’s wearing a ball-gag? What’s misogyny / misandry play? How does slut-shaming fit into all of this? And is this going to be another conversation ending in a discussion about consent? To answer these questions, Rog from Curious Creatures is joined by: Aerie, from Blue Velvet […]
“My partner and I used to have sex, but not anymore, and I’m not even sure I want to, but I do still love them; any advice?” What happens to sex that started out so wonderfully, but then trails off into the distance? Does that pattern happen to everyone? Is the solution to accept the […]
“I hate my body. I can’t stand to have it seen naked with the lights on. How am I ever meant to have sex?” To answer this most vulnerable of questions, Rog from Curious Creatures is joined by: Cath Carter: Renowned sex therapist, counselor, and couples and singles coach. Cath has been in the field […]
The team deserves a gold star for just defining this complex issue! What follows is loads of great advice about the subtleties of the interplay between a dominant and their submissive – or is a submissive, and their dominant? This conversation scrolls through everything from bratty behavior to the possibility that submission is not appropriate […]
…Not that there’s anything wrong with that! But yes, if you need it to be about more than simple hedonism, then we’ve got your back. It’s about self-development, it’s about relationship skills… It turns out, it’s even about politics and war and peace. To explain how, Rog, from Curious Creatures, is joined by: Anne Hunter, a […]
Rog: “It was such a delight to tackle this very difficult question with Lorraine and Charlotte. Their perspective and insight and willingness to feel the humanity of the issues was relieving… special. The world is a better place for their understanding and willingness to engage”. Rog, from Curious Creatures, is joined by: Lorraine Pentelow – […]
In a conversation that ranges through loneliness, privilege, group conflict, and having your sex acts taken out of context, this is one rollicking topic! Rog from Curious Creatures is joined by: Barbara Carrellas – World renowned author, workshop therapist, coach, adviser and speaker. Barbara has written many books, including the revolutionary ‘Urban Tantra’ and ‘Ecstasy […]
In this juicy episode, the topic of regaining trust after abuse is approached both theoretically, and with some very personal stories. Rog, from Curious Creatures, is joined by: Anne Hunter, a relationships coach and polyamory specialist, in Melbourne, Australia (yourrelationshiptoolbelt.com). Niyati Evers, a psychotherapist and counsellor from Portland, Oregon (alchemy-of-eros.com). Curious Creatures can be found […]
We all have bodies. We all have expectations on what we’d like from our bodies. And we all have to deal with the fact our bodies don’t always do what we’d like. Vaginas that aren’t wet enough, or wide enough… Cocks that don’t get hard, or that come too soon… Are they trying to tell […]
How come the word ‘ritual’ comes up in relation to sex and bdsm? Ask some sex-positive kinksters, and you’re going to get some interesting answers… What’s the difference between routine, and ritual? How does that potentially hinder or boost your sex life? And what exactly have y’all been getting up to in your spare time? […]
What’s the difference between a sex-worker, a sex-therapist, a sex-surrogate, and a sex-coach? …They all involve sex and money, right, but where’s the line between one thing and the next? How do you know which one you need? Can you have all of those services in one professional, or even one session? And why don’t […]
What is Tantra? Is it some ancient mystic sexual artform, or a modern twist on kink? Perhaps a hybrid love-child of the two? And how does non-binary gender, the beauty myth, and protocols around safer sex fit into whatever tantra is now? For some great perspectives (that are probably slightly biased towards modern takes on […]
Can you teach touch? Why are some people able to touch you perfectly, and others not? Can the latter be taught? If so, how… exactly? Rog (from Curious Creatures), Lorraine and Charlotte tell you all their secrets. Lorraine Pentelow – a very compassionate and trained Sexological Bodyworker (a modality that brings sexual theory and touch […]
This is a question that almost all sexual partners face at some stage. It can be stifling and hard to know where to start, however there are some really doable and time-tested solutions from these sexuality experts. Rog from Curious Creatures is joined by: Barbara Carrellas – World renowned author, workshop therapist, coach, adviser and […]
What can I do about my protruding inner labia? With labiaplasty one of the fastest growing medical procedures, this is a topical question. Listen, as a few body-positive sex educators tackle the problem. Rog, from Curious Creatures, is joined by: Lorraine Pentelow – a very compassionate and trained Sexological Bodyworker (a modality that brings sexual […]
What’s your number one sex move? Is it a little wriggle with your finger at the right time? Something you do with your tongue? Or something entirely psychological? To answer this question, Rog from Curious Creatures is joined by: Cath Carter: Renowned sex therapist, counselor, and couples and singles coach. Cath has been in the field […]