Kinger: Recent Episodes
Kinger
A third way. Find your passion.
This is a series of life changing "NUGGETS". Those epiphany moments when suddenly everything becomes crystal clear and you have a huge "wow" moment. These moments literally change your life. they are so profound that the change the way you think, behave and act. These are some of those moments that really changed the way I thought and made me a better person.
Know you upside, know your downside.
"It's your world, so live in it." Johnny Clegg
Every moment you are on this planet you life moves forward. You are only allocated a certain amount of time on this earth, tomorrow is never promised.
Don't live in fear to live. Every decision you face can be evaluated and the best choices made, even when it all seems overwhelming.
Give up on not going for it.
"Who dares wins." Special Air Services (SAS).
You can only win it if you in it. All great leaders and business people fail, its not the failure that defines them, its their ability to get back up and learn from the failure.
Give up wasting time.
"The trouble is, you think you have time" Jack Kornfield
Remember you will die......so never stop creating your legacy and doing the things that enrich your life.
Give up your need need to be liked.
"You can be the juiciest, ripest peach in the world, and there's still going to be people who hate peaches." Dita Von Teese
You cannot be liked by everyone, get over it. Think about this....if everyone likes you, it means you disagree with no one, which in turn means you don't stand for anything specific.
Give up the toxic people. “Stay away from toxic people they have a problem for every solution.” Albert Einstein.
Give up on saying YES to things that don't support your goals.
"He who would accomplish little must sacrifice little; he who would achieve much must sacrifice much; he who would attain highly must sacrifice greatly." James Allen.
Successful people know that to attain their goals they have to say no to certain tasks, activities, outings and demands from their friends.
Give up your need to control everything.
"Some things are up to us, and some things are not up to us." Epictetus
Detach from the things you cannot control, they will only cause stress and anxiety.
Give up multi tasking.
"Most of the time multitasking is an illusion. You Think you are multitasking, but in reality, you are actually wasting time switching from one task to another." Bosco Tjan
Don't be a "jack of all trades, master of none" do one task properly and then move on to the next.
Give up believing in the "magic bullet."
"Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better." Emile Coue
Successful people improve and make adjustments every single day, they evolve. Compound these small daily improvements and over time you will see massive results. Just 1% a day means a 100% improvement in a little over 3 months!
Give up the fixed mindset.
"The future belongs to those who learn more skills and combine them in creative ways." Robert Greene
Talent alone does not lead to success, unless you luck out. Successful people know that it takes hard work and perseverance. They invest an immense amount of time on a daily basis to develop a growth mindset, acquire new knowledge, learn new skills and change their perception so that it enhances their lives.
Give you your excuses.
"It's not about the cards you are dealt, but how you play the hand." Randy Pausch.
Successful people are responsible for their lives. The starting point is not relevant. Having excuses means we will never achieve our goals as there will always be a reason why we did not.
“Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone, and as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” — Marianne Williamson
Give up the short term mindset.
"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." Mae West
Give up the unhealthy lifestyle.
"Take care of your body, its the only one you will ever have".
"Remember, being happy doesn't mean you have it all. It simply means you're thankful for all you have".
Gratitude is the cornerstone of being happy and successful, if you identify what you are grateful for and actively remind yourself of this gratitude you will naturally attract positive energy and thoughts.
Its a bright, brand new New Year! Anything is achievable. The past is in the past, make the changes you want to make to your life and move on! You have a completely blank canvas - paint the picture you have always wanted.
Did You know?
"You can "rewire" your brain to be happy by simply recalling 3 things you're grateful for every day for 21 days".
Look back on 2018 objectively, what did you achieve, what made you happy, what could you have done better or improve on. Then sit back and decide on what you want 2019 to bring for you. Think about "resolutions", I believe in resolutions for one simple reason - its a goal, you are forced to think about the goal you want to achieve, you write it down and then actively try to achieve it!
“Next time you’re stressed, take a step back, inhale and laugh. Remember who you are and why you are here. You are never given anything in this world you cannot handle. Be strong, be flexible, love yourself and love others. Remember ALWAYS, ALWAYS keep moving forward.”
“There is no straight road where you are going”. In a perfect world we go from point A to point B in a perfectly straight line. But in real life the line is very squiggly, it goes up and down, back and forth, in squares and in circles! If you know there are obstacles, even if we do not know what they will be, we will be prepared to face them and over come them!
“We can’t effectively manage what we don’t understand or protect what we do not know.” Knowledge is power the best way to fully understand your situation and make it better, if need, is to fully understand it.
"To improve is to change, so to be perfect is to have changed often".
Most people don't like change. Successful people not only change but the embrace it and welcome it! The best way to embrace change, is to control it. Be the one that makes the change, know what you want to change and make it happen, this way change seldom hijacks you!
"I never "worry" about action, but only about in action". Winston Churchill.
Watch children this Christmas morning as they wake up and gather around the tree.....
Look at the excitement and complete belief in those shiny wrapped presents. They knew what they wanted and they asked Santa and their parents for what they wanted, now they sit staring at the presents knowing they will get what the wanted. Believe and take action.
"Don't feel bad for outgrowing people that had the chance to grow with you". You are an unfinished product. You change and evolve and grow every single day. If you leave people behind, that's okay. Stay true to your course.
"The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are". This is so obvious but we often need to be reminded! How do you eat an elephant - one bite at a time. Silly I know, but so so true! Take that step into the unknown, the rest will work its self out.
"You can't change someone who doesn't see an issue with their actions". If someone is adamant they are right and their point of view is the only one - often they are not reasonable and open to discussion. they do not approach issues with an open and objective mind. Don't waste time with these people.... Spend your energy on positive people!
"Leadership is not about being best.Leadership is about making everyone else better". The very best leaders have a knack of getting the best out of people, having that ability to push the right buttons to get the maximum and best out of people.
"Leaders who don't listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say". Your subordinates have to challenge you, question you and make you better and stronger. You do not want to be surrounded by "yes" people! All they do is agree with you, not push and challenge you.
"I was raised to treat the janitor with the same respect as the CEO". Treat all people like you want to be treated. Simple.
"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal". Henry Ford Keep your eyes on the peak, that's your goal. You will go through peaks and troughs, that's just life! When you hit an obstacle, figure it out! Don't look for issues, just face them when they arise.
"The butterfly does not look back at the caterpillar in shame, just as you should not look back at your past in shame. Your past was part of your own transformation". One thing is certain you are not the same today as you were 10 years ago. You may inherently be the same person and stand for the same things but what is important to you now will certainly be different. Know too that some of your changes will be orchestrated and decided by you. While others will happen because life happens, you cannot predict live altering events like falling in love or losing a loved one and these will change the way you view life. So embrace yourself at each stage and see it as a stepping stone to the next phase.
"Stop overthinking. You can't control everything. Just let it be."
There is no point in worrying yourself to death over something that you cannot change. If you can change it change it, if there is absolutely nothing that you can do then you need to let it go and get on with you life.
"I am in competition with no one. I have no desire to play the game of being better than anyone. I am simply trying to be better than the person I was yesterday". If you improve by just 1% a day, so today you are better by 1% than yesterday, in just over 3 months you will be 100% improved!!
"At the end of you life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a child, a friend, or a parent". Barbra Bush Live your life to its maximum. Once time is spent you can never get it back, so use it wisely.
"When you replace "why is this happening to me" with "what is he trying to teach me?" - everything shifts". One door closes, another opens. Everything happens for a reason, embrace the change with a positive, can do attitude.
"Leadership is not about titles, positions or flowcharts. It is about one life influencing another." Be the change! Be the bigger person, lead by example. leadership comes in many forms - its not about authority its about people wanting to follow your lead.
Being accountable to ourselves is what helps us achieve our goals. With out holding ourselves accountable we will never attain our goals.
Decisions. "We can think about things, turn them over in our minds a million times, play out possible scenarios, but really when it comes down to it, you have to go with your heart and move forward. maybe things will go well. Maybe they'll turn out poorly. Every decision brings with it some good, some bad, some lessons, and some luck. The only thing that's for sure is that indecision steals many years from many people who wind up wishing they'd just had the courage to leap."
"The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach". You cannot achieve a result if the result is not defined! Start with the biggest goal and break it into smaller goals.
"Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough". Its okay to say no! Don't be a push over, don't let people take advantage of you.
"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life's about creating yourself". You are not a "finished" article and never will be! You will constantly evolve! Keep creating the the "best" you
Abraham Lincoln - "Most people are about as happy as they make up their mind to be". You are what you think.... Think positive thoughts and the world will conspire with you, you will attract positive vibes, call it karma or by any other name but the universe gives you more of what you portray!
There IS such a thing as a dumb question. All my life I was of the opinion that there is no such thing as a dumb question. However, I have changed my mind..... in a world where we have such instant access to so much information most answers are close at hand. By not seeking answers and simply asking for the solution we stop using "critical" thinking, this in turn means we stop thinking at all.
Sir Richard Branson "If someone offers you an amazing opportunity and you're not sure you can do it, say yes - then learn how to do it later". You're a resourceful being, you also live in a world where our access to information is more powerful than ever before. Don't pass up on opportunity - figure it out.
"I'm somewhere between giving up and seeing how much more I can take". We have all been there ....quit or fight on. So many great entrepreneurs failed but kept trying, they have "stickitivity" never roll over but keep trying. In the words of the iconic Nelson Mandela "Its not how many times you get knocked down but how many times you get up".
"Good friends help you find important things when you have lost them..... things like your smile, your hope and your courage". That's what friends are for! Your friends are your most trusted inner core of people, they love you unconditionally and always have your best interests at heart. Let them help you or be your sounding board!
On this special day take a moment to be grateful. But really grateful, reach out to someone who means a lot to you and reminisce about an old fond memory or reach out to a family member or friend who you may have fallen out with and make it right....now is the season to show your gratitude and let by gone's be gone.
"One day you'll look back and realize that you worried too much about things that really don't matter".
This is in line with one of my 10 core life changing WOW moments - Will it matter in 3 weeks? Don't let something trivial ruin your day or week, make a conscious effort to address what ever it is that is causing you grief and sort it out!
"Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces people into thinking they can't lose". Be careful of judging your success against others, especially gurus or market leaders. Modern advertising will always only tell you the run away success story ...."I made $xxxxx in 2 days!!, you can too!". Can you? Absolutely, will you probably not because of the 2000 people who tried it, only one made that, how ever it doesn't mean that you cannot achieve you won goals. Set real goals, break it down into mini goals and you will succeed!
"If you don't control your mind, someone else will."
In line with yesterdays lesson. Your mind is hugely powerful, you need to have control of it, fill it with positive energy and thoughts and it becomes such a powerful weapon, fill it with negative thoughts and hate and it becomes very destructive.
"When it rains look for rainbows. When it's dark, look for stars."
Always look on the bright side, if you look for the positives and you look for the good, you will naturally attract the same. Call it karma or whatever else but positive breeds positive!
"Make a list of things that make you happy. Make a list of the things you do every day. Compare the lists. Adjust accordingly".
Its vital that we think about what makes us happy and then reconcile this with real life so that we can make changes that will make us happier!
"It's not the future you are afraid of. It's the fear of the past repeating itself that haunts you." Learn from your mistakes, treat them and life lessons - don't make them again but don't allow them to take away your tomorrow.
"You often feel tire, not because you've done too much, but because you've done too little of what sparks a light in you". This comes back to finding the "why" in you. What is your passion! Don't give up on it it is never too late.
Wonderful life lesson from an old friend. Deirdre has taught her gets that you cannot receive something if your had is closed.... so you first have to "give", this opens the fingers of the hand making it able to receive!
We often stray from the essence of who we really are over time because we compromise our beliefs to fit in. We don't say "no" for fear of being rejected or not fitting in, but by doing this we slowly move away from who we really are and what we really stand for. Its okay to say no, and stand firm, but you can only do that if you "know" who you really are.
Isn't it ironic how we can give the best advice to all of our friends, yet we cannot "listen or hear" our own advice? The primary reason for this is when the advice is not directed at ourselves, it is not personal, so it is way easier to remove emotion and focus on the real issue. Emotion often clouds our judgement or our perspective because our feelings are so involved. Its good advice to sometimes take your own advice.
There is no other day in the year better than 11 November to express your gratitude. 11 November is Armistice Day, or Poppy Day. As you may know the poppy became symbolic of the loss during WW1. They were immortalized in John McCrae's famous poem "In Flanders Fields". After the war the poppy became the symbol of those who were lost in the war and the 11 November became the day of remembrance to express our gratitude to those who gave so much.
Once you have a "why" or a purpose, everything becomes so much clearer and easier to shoot for. This is simply because you are following your passion, passion is a motivator like no other.
Just like the episode where moments become memories, life is short. Live in the moment, go on the vacation, dye your hair. You only live once!
life is an ocean, it will throw rough seas at you! It helps to have an anchor to guide you. In this episode it was finding Christianity at 16. Your anchor is something that you believe in deeply, that touches you to your core and forms the basis of your belief system.
Through heart ache and a broken off relationship in far away India, this listener learned to laugh. She got rid of her anger and resentment and found a peace that has never left her. It's okay to laugh! Even at yourself, don't be so serious!
In today's world its easy to only see the bad in people, to look for the negatives, to feel hard done by! In this episode the impact of a sister with down syndrome had a massive impact on how the listener treated her and then learn to treat other people because of the lessons he had learned. Cut people some slack and look for the good in them. give them the benefit of the doubt.
Tomorrow is not promised. Things can change in the blink of an eye. Make peace with your today, do not let the sun set on a conflict. Be the bigger person, reach out and make it right.
LIVE WITH NO REGRETS....
When we do something we love, not only do we find time but we seem to have extra time! Making the sacrifice of going to bed later or getting up early is not a sacrifice...time flies by without us even noticing! If we grind away for hours on something we do not care about - it soon becomes stressful!
Today's episode highlights the fact that we as humans are relentless! Even when we reach our "goal", there is a stretched objective, meaning the goal has expanded.... We never truly get there. That's not just okay, it's amazing as we are always striving for more, moving forward relentlessly.
We have spent some time on the 10 major lessons that impacted my life and truly helped me shape who I am today. You the audience has spoken!! I asked for events or lessons in your life that had had the same impact on your life as mine in episodes 1-10. Here is a series of lessons from listeners. they are a little shorter as they are not my personal stories.
So this sounds dumb right? But so many people get confused between what a businessman is and what and entrepreneur is! They are similar and often over lap but the best way to show the difference is as follows:
Businessman buys 2 bananas for $2,00 - splits them and sells each for $1,50, so he make $3,00 (one dollar profit). This is your classic One Plus One. An entrepreneur also buys 2 bananas for $2,00 - but he makes banana juice and sells it for $5,00 ($3,00 profit). This is very much not One Plus One as there are so many variable and moving parts. This is high risk and high reward! In a world where everyone wants to be an entrepreneur or is an entrepreneur its worth understanding the difference. Its totally okay to be either one, or part of each or more one the other but just understand the difference.
Stop stressing how you will get to the "end goal". Human kind is remarkable how they find a way to get things done - no matter the obstacle they will find a away to get it done. Stop looking at your goal, which is 10 steps away and freaking out how you will get there. When you look too far ahead, your journey becomes insurmountable and you will chicken out. If you focus on your next step only (obviously knowing what the ultimate goal is) you will find a away to get that step done and be ready to move onto your next step. The secret is find a way, do not give up - do what ever you must to over come that step - google it, ask peers, reach out to groups you are involved in, do whatever it takes to get to the next step.
If you know where your "north" is at all times, you will always end up pointing in the right direction. Think of the old adage "if you drop a cat, it will always land on its feet". It somehow knows which way is up - instinctively. Life will throw you curve balls, you will end up feeling like you are in free fall - that's just life, but when you know instinctively where you are going, then what you must do to go in that direction becomes obvious.
Some things are life changing and will impact your life for years to come, some are simply an inconvenience and life must go on. "Will it matter in three weeks" is simply a way for you to look in and assess if something that has happened is really going to change your life and how it will continue to play out or is it just an "in the moment event" and it too will pass so you should not stress about it too much.
Re read the title of this episode. There is a fundamental difference between approaching something with each of these mindsets. Think about it, if you play not to lose, you are always being the "Frog In The Pot", you are always justifying why you should not do something, why its a bad idea. Playing to win, is exactly the opposite, this mind set is all about "what must I do to succeed?". You have a real goal and you will do everything you can to achieve it, you will do what ever it takes!
See the difference? It changes the way you approach everything!
We all get to a place in life where we are comfortable. It's easier to stick with what you know than to try something new. You've been there, we all have! It is human nature to resist change. Think of all the analogies there are "rather the devil you know...", "bury your head in the sand..", "it's only temporary..", "this too shall pass...". You get the point! If you do the same thing how can the result ever be different? Make the change! Chase your dreams, live the life you want to live, doing what you really want to do.
Done Is Better Than Perfect. There are NO truer words. Too many of us want to wait until whatever we are doing is perfect. It doesn't matter if this is an idea, an article, a picture we are painting or a book we are writing. Literally anything... The moment of absolute certainty will never come, you will never be 100% happy and this is what causes so many people not to try. Just do it - get whatever it is out there, you can come back and make changes and enhancements and you can even get feed back from your audience or friends to help improve your end version.
Do It ...... NOW!
You cannot ever achieve something if you do not have a predetermined "goal" in mind. Depending on how "big" the goal is, it can be broken down into smaller achievable goals but you have to set out to actually achieve a very specific result, or you will never get there.
The most important lesson I learned early on in my life is I will never be smart enough to "remember" the lies I told. You can only recount something if you were there. This is a GOLDEN NUGGET!!!
Welcome to The Kinger Podcast.
Very first one, so forgive the mistakes! But it is the first of many as i share some golden nuggets that will change peoples lives forever!
Join me on this amazing journey of discovery. Where You will discover "the best you".