Ain't Life a Bitch: Recent Episodes
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In “Yes or No?!” Langley just wants a simple answer, but inadvertently may offend the Native Americans. Sorry. You were here first.
The post ALAB Podcast: Yes or No?! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “The Running Girl!” Langley laments on another female who literally ran away from him.
The post ALAB Podcast: The Running Girl! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Langley Interrupted!” Langley discovers the effects of using too much industrial adhesive in a poorly ventilated room and Flip steering wheel unicorn poop.
The post ALAB Podcast: Langley Interrupted! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “AAAAGGGGHHHHHHHH!!! (Live)” Langley returns from a two week hiatus and struggles to find peace after a recent incident that nearly ended in 3 casualties, a decrease in the homeless population, and a ruined pair of new underwear.
The post ALAB Podcast: AAAAGGGGHHHHHHHH!!! (Live) first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Gimp… Or GIMP?!” Langley asks in his usual polite and calm manner that you be more specific when posting an online ad for a “gimp” so as to limit everyone’s overall embarrassment, especially those poor homo-gnomes.
The post ALAB Podcast: Gimp… Or GIMP?! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “You’re An ***hole!” Langley offers his opinion on a pseudo-celebrity who was recently discourteous to him in a grocery store parking lot.
The post ALAB Podcast: You’re An ***hole! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Electrical Tape?!” Langley discovers that he got the shaft from a dirty, filthy, ball washing bastard, and not in any sort of gratifying pornographic sort of way.
The post ALAB Podcast: Electrical Tape?! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “What the —- Is This —- ?!” Langley discovers a glob of mysterious brown stuff on his phone at the ol’ day job.
The post What the —- Is This —- ?! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Stop Talking Like That!” Langley bitches about the way some people talk. It’s the shortest and most annoying episode so far.
The post ALAB Podcast: Stop Talking Like That! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Lauren Graham Frenched Me!” Langley recounts a brief but sultry encounter with the hottest Gilmore Girl and a cheeky monkey.
The post ALAB Podcast: Lauren Graham Frenched Me! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Circle, Jerk!” Langley learns the rules of the road when driving in a Roundabout.
The post ALAB Podcast: CIRCLE, JERK! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Running On Excitement!” Langley explains why it’s important to remember even the dumbest of holidays during a financially challenging time, and why diamonds are not his best friend.
The post ALAB Podcast: RUNNING ON EXCITEMENT! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “THE VD EPISODE!” Langley highlights the history of Valentine’s Day, Feb. 14, throughout American history.
The post ALAB Podcast: THE VD EPISODE! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Needs Me A J.O.B!” Langley needs a JOB. Pretty cut and dry.
The post ALAB Podcast: Needs Me A J.O.B! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “—- Your Truck!” Langley explains why it’s wrong for people with SUVs to forget that other people on the roads actually exist, and why he doesn’t want to die wearing stained underwear.
The post ALAB Podcast: —- Your Truck! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Coming In Loud and Clear!” Langley explains why the convenience of being able to talk on the cellphone at any given moment isn’t always convenient, and now has a craving for chicken. Plus, a very special announcement from the Producers.
The post ALAB Podcast: Coming In Loud and Clear! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Mooooove Along, Little Dogie!” Langley takes us on a journey 6 miles from his apartment that ultimately took over an hour, and gave up for another soothing dose of cold medicine.
The post ALAB Podcast: Moooove Along, Little Dogie! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Count Down!” Langley counts down the ‘best of’ 2016 ALAB episodes!
The post ALAB Podcast: Count Down! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Cover Your Mouth!” Langley has a cold and coughs a lot, and he’s pissed about it.
The post ALAB Podcast: Cover Your Mouth! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Merry Christmas and Shit!” Langley catches us up on the past two weeks of Construction Destruction after having to skip a week due to technical difficulties, tells us about his new laptop, and wishes us all a happy holiday… Especially poor Ukraine Mary.
The post ALAP Podcast: Merry Christmas and Shit! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
Check back next week for an all new episode of the ALAB podcast.
The post ALAB Podcast: Technical Difficulties first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Morning Mariachi!” Langley continues his 4 part rant about the ongoing earthquake safety construction at his apartment complex, and delights us with a pelvic thrusting Mariachi wake up.
The post ALAB Podcast: Morning Mariachi! (aka Jack THIS Hammer pt.DOS) first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Jack THIS Hammer!” Langley gets pissy about earthquake safety and his shitty computer that’s destroying the production quality of this show.
The post ALAB podcast: Jack THIS Hammer! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Brad Cock Blocked My Funny Turkey Episode!” Langley asks his wonderful listeners to help children have a Christmas this year. Damn you for feeling, Brad!
The post ALAB Podcast: Brad Cock Blocked My Funny Turkey Episode! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In this departure from his normal ranting, “We The People!,” Langley attempts to offer some sense of hope for anyone feeling heartbroken and afraid after the results of the 2016 Presidential election.
The post ALAB Podcast: We The People! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Give Me the Job!,” Langley describes a challenging job interview upon the realization that certain foods should be avoided prior to important meetings in order to evade embarrassing situations.
The post ALAB Podcast: Give Me the Job! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Give Me Some Validation,” Langley gets his panties in a knot over the parking meters and parking deck fees in his new home city.
The post ALAB Podcast: Give Me Some Validation! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Service With A Smile,” Langley risks never being able to eat in a restaurant again by complaining about pissy hosts.
The post ALAB Podcast: Service With A Smile first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “I Should Have Stayed Home,” Langley simultaneously deals with multiple idiots while trying to find a parking space.
The post ALAB Podcast: I Should Have Stayed Home first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Jamaica’n Me Angry!,” Langley educates us on the process of applying for a typical day job, and getting his number snagged by a telemarketer from Jamaica.
The post ALAB Podcast: Jamaica’n Me Angry! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Langley Goes To Hollywood (Blvd),” Langley goes to Hollywood Blvd. Was that not clear from the title? He takes you on a ride down Hollywood Blvd in heavy traffic. Which ends up being about one block.
The post ALAB Podcast: Langley Goes to Hollywood (Blvd) first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Yo Fault,” Langley talks about the perils of parallel parking in Los Angeles.
The post ALAB Podcast: YO FAULT! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Ducking Automatic Erect,” Langley freaks the duck out over the way technology insists on changing the words he types to things that make no funning sense. Download this Injuns ahead on the trail episode for all the fudge.
The post ALAB PODCAST: “Ducking Automatic Erect!” first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Hotel No Sleep For Ya,” Langley entertains us with his recent cross country adventure. His head grew heavy and his sight grew dim, he had to stop for the night… At a crap hotel where sleep was not allowed.
The post ALAB Podcast: Hotel No Sleep For Ya first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Stop Calling Me,” Langley offers advice on ending bot calls from political campaigns.
The post ALAB Podcast: Stop Calling Me first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Chewed Fingernail,” Langley is on a mission to find out who left him a disgusting present. He also recounts an old roommate issue.
The post ALAB Podcast: Chewed Fingernail first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Go **** Your Selfie,” Langley complains about strangers taking selfies in public and catching him in the background doing embarrassing things. This is the most clean and sharable episode you’re ever gonna get.
The post ALAB Podcast: Go **** Your Selfie (aka the clean episode) first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Can I Get A Lift?,” Langley tries to avoid getting Staphylococcus by plea-ing for more sanitary peeing. Potty etiquette is everything.
The post ALAB Podcast: Can I Get A Lift? first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Bird Shit,” Langley talks more about his pathetic dating life, how other people’s migraines interfere with his sex life, and asks why do birds love to shit on his car. He even references Gulliver’s Travels.
The post ALAB Podcast: Bird Shit first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Wait for the Punchline!” Langley complains about people interrupting his moments of comedic genius and ruining the punchline. Then, explains the basic structure of comedy, and tells a joke that’s more than just “meh.”
The post ALAB Podcast: Wait for the Punchline! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Tequila Mockingbird,” Langley shares a story of a buddy who recently got his heart broken. There’s also a sad love song and a parrot.
The post ALAB Podcast: Tequila Mockingbird first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Short,” Langley discusses size issues, working in retail, and stupid people saying stupid things. And there’s a song. #ShortLivesMatter
The post ALAB Podcast: Short first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “…Luxury,” Langley flashes back to his very first girlfriend and the startling and unexpected discovering her love for hot dogs in a luxury extended cab pickup truck.
The post ALAB Podcast: In the Lap of (some D-bag’s) Luxury first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In this bonus episode, “Happy Birthday, ‘Merica,” Langley self indulgently reflects on one of his own birthdays, but ultimately makes a point after much unnecessary B.S. and wishes you all a happy 4th.
The post ALAB Podcast: Happy Birthday, ‘Merica! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Move It!,” Langley sings a song and complains about stupid drivers.
The post ALAB Podcast: Move It! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Paula Abdul,” Langley attempts a couple of foreign languages, and goes on a search for a very important memento of self discovery from his teenage years.
The post ALAB Podcast: Paula Abdul first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Ocupado!,” Langley gives his perspective on the use of public restrooms and those people who lack the mental capacity to understand what a locked door means.
The post ALAB Podcast: Ocupado! first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Movie Etiquette,” Langley offers his three rules that everyone should abide by to observe proper Movie Theatre Etiquette. He also attempts to break the record for most times using the “F” word in under 6 minutes.
The post ALAB Podcast: Movie Etiquette first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In “Dumb Ass (aka Call Me Daddy),” Langley recounts his latest dating tragedy involving champagne, S&M, online education of various uses for silk ties, and being an all around dumb ass. There’s new intro music, too!
The post ALAB Podcast: Dumb Ass (aka Call Me Daddy) first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
“Rude,” Langley cusses a lot and talks about how rude people can be, dealing with insecurities, and clown sex.
The post ALAB Podcast: Rude People first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
In his very first podcast episode, Langley discusses a very traumatic brunch experience, and the incestual relationships between silverware.
The post ALAB Podcast: Getting Crepe`ed On first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
“The Choking Girl,” Langley discusses a conversation he overheard in a coffee shop while contemplating his life options.
The post ALAB Podcast: Conversations in Coffee Shops (aka The Choking Girl) first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.
Langley recounts a time in which he thought he had a date, but instead shelled out money on some other guy’s girl. He also makes a reference to one of the best tv shows ever, Californication.
The post ALAB Podcast: My Dating Life first appeared on Ain't Life a Bitch.