Simply Convivial: Pep Talks for Homemakers & Homeschoolers: Recent Episodes
Mystie Winckler
Short focus sessions for busy Christian moms who want to manage their homes & lives for the glory of God – and enjoy it, too! Organize your attitude, get stuff done, and love God.
Overwhelmed? Let me help with this free workshop: AnswerOverwhelm.com
With a million different things to do, it's so easy to get distracted and overwhelmed. But we all know we're not the wives, mothers, homemakers we want to be when we're overwhelmed. There is a way out. When we feel the stress mount, the distractions fly, and the responsibilities come crashing in, we can respond with calm joy instead of panicked overwhelm.
Let me explain how in my free workshop How to Answer Overwhelm. Just go to AnswerOverwhelm.com to register for the free workshop and get instant access. I'll also send you a few followup emails encouraging you to replace overwhelm with cheerful diligence. We can do this. Head to AnswerOverwhelm.com today.
Women are the backbone of society, so we must be free from cultural lies & personal guilt and have the freedom of good habits and self-control so we can build God-honoring families and communities.
📖 Get my latest book: How to Use a Planner Without Wasting Time
https://amzn.to/3CcRzuy
➡️ Take the free daily card challenge and practice with me!
https://www.simplyconvivial.info/todo-list/
🏆 Enroll in Simply Convivial Continuing Education and get practical life management mentorship so you don't have to be overwhelmed anymore:
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
Change the story you tell yourself about your life. Make it a true story: https://www.simplyconvivial.info/story
I spent so many years trying to get my bearings, get a grip, figure out the routines, and make things run smoothly. I mothered with intensity. I did not keep house with intensity. I meditated on the word convivial and how to get out of my own head so I could build a home and life where we all enjoyed one another.
I educated my children to take initiative, to think, to problem-solve for themselves, not to accept commands unthinkingly. And I was frustrated when their practice attempts were aimed at me. Instead of noticing that they were stretching their muscles toward proper independence and directing it with joy, I strategized over how to make my own life easier.
But an easy life isn’t the goal of our mothering. The goal of life isn’t to find or make the easy road. Sanctification for God’s glory is the goal, both for us and for our children, which makes it also the goal for our mothering.
You can also read this as an article on Simply Convivial: https://simplyconvivial.com/2023/motherhood-as-investment/
Women are the backbone of society, so we must be free from cultural lies & personal guilt and have the freedom of good habits and self-control so we can build God-honoring families and communities.
📖 Get my latest book: How to Use a Planner Without Wasting Time
https://amzn.to/3CcRzuy
➡️ Take the free daily card challenge and practice with me!
https://www.simplyconvivial.info/todo-list/
🏆 Enroll in Simply Convivial Continuing Education and get practical life management mentorship so you don't have to be overwhelmed anymore:
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
Get a homemaking makeover: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
Simplified Organization is my signature online course that will walk you through getting your life in order. In the process, we learn that the biggest thing that needs to be ordered is our attitude - and we take concrete steps to do that.
Organizing our attitude might be the biggest thing that needs to be organized, but it's certainly not the only thing.
While walking through mindset shifts and attitude adjustments, we also set up a life management system:
- a working calendar
- vocation statements
- time budget
- planner
- review habits
- basic routines
- command center
and more!
When putting our home management skills and practices in order is paired with attitude and mindset centering, we grow in resilience, competency, and joy - not because we have it all together at last, but because we know how to handle the life that comes to us.
If life feels too hard, if your home feels too out of control, or if you just feel like you aren't "up to snuff" - Simplified Organization will give you the makeover - in attitude and skill - that you need.
Join today and find out how you can get extra help implementing the strategies over the next school year 2023 - https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
Learn to love being a homemaker! Start Simplified Organization Community Coaching: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
Housework is not drudge work to get through as quickly as possible. Take a step back, get perspective, and engage with your role and responsibilities.
Sign up to be notified of future live Homemaker CEO Days: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/ceo
Women are the backbone of society, so we must be free from cultural lies & personal guilt and have the freedom of good habits and self-control so we can build God-honoring families and communities.
📖 Get my latest book: How to Use a Planner Without Wasting Time
https://amzn.to/3CcRzuy
➡️ Take the free daily card challenge and practice with me!
https://www.simplyconvivial.info/todo-list/
🏆 Enroll in Simply Convivial Continuing Education and get practical life management mentorship so you don't have to be overwhelmed anymore:
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
Reclaim your house from chaos and love being a homemaker: https://simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
Women are the backbone of society, so we must be free from cultural lies & personal guilt and have the freedom of good habits and self-control so we can build God-honoring families and communities.
📖 Get my latest book: How to Use a Planner Without Wasting Time
https://amzn.to/3CcRzuy
➡️ Take the free daily card challenge and practice with me!
https://www.simplyconvivial.info/todo-list/
🏆 Enroll in Simply Convivial Continuing Education and get practical life management mentorship so you don't have to be overwhelmed anymore:
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
This is just a small sample of the community wisdom we have going on all the time inside Convivial Circle. I hope this snippet is a blessing to you.
Join Community Coaching: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
God cares about us and superintends even the details. This reality is the basis for our gratitude, which is our motivation.
Women are the backbone of society, so we must be free from cultural lies & personal guilt and have the freedom of good habits and self-control so we can build God-honoring families and communities.
📖 Get my latest book: How to Use a Planner Without Wasting Time
https://amzn.to/3CcRzuy
➡️ Take the free daily card challenge and practice with me!
https://www.simplyconvivial.info/todo-list/
🏆 Enroll in Simply Convivial Continuing Education and get practical life management mentorship so you don't have to be overwhelmed anymore:
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
Play Baby Step Bingo with us in July! https://simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
Change things up in your routine and blast out of the blahs by seeing how you're winning while taking small baby steps.
Women are the backbone of society, so we must be free from cultural lies & personal guilt and have the freedom of good habits and self-control so we can build God-honoring families and communities.
📖 Get my latest book: How to Use a Planner Without Wasting Time
https://amzn.to/3CcRzuy
➡️ Take the free daily card challenge and practice with me!
https://www.simplyconvivial.info/todo-list/
🏆 Enroll in Simply Convivial Continuing Education and get practical life management mentorship so you don't have to be overwhelmed anymore:
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
Take the Mom's Weekly Review Masterclass! https://www.simplyconvivial.info/weekly-review-masterclass/
Perfectionism is getting in the way of your weekly review in insidious ways. Learn how to overcome perfectionism and find a baby step weekly review that works for you.
Women are the backbone of society, so we must be free from cultural lies & personal guilt and have the freedom of good habits and self-control so we can build God-honoring families and communities.
📖 Get my latest book: How to Use a Planner Without Wasting Time
https://amzn.to/3CcRzuy
➡️ Take the free daily card challenge and practice with me!
https://www.simplyconvivial.info/todo-list/
🏆 Enroll in Simply Convivial Continuing Education and get practical life management mentorship so you don't have to be overwhelmed anymore:
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
Take the Mom's Weekly Review Masterclass: https://www.simplyconvivial.info/weekly-review-masterclass
Overcome perfectionism and start with baby steps as you work on organizing and planning. A 'weekly review', which is a practice to continually iterate, allows us to grasp our plans and obligations for the upcoming week.
An integral part of this process is identifying and addressing 'open loops'. Coined by David Allen, 'open loops' refer to uncertainties, obligations, or commitments in one's life that are undefined and might be causing stress or anxiety. They are the things that are on one's mind but are not being actively addressed.
The first step in tackling these open loops is by ‘brain dumping’, which involves writing down all the things that are occupying your mind. This practice helps make them specific rather than vague, reducing the feeling of overwhelm.
The next step is to focus on particular issues among these open loops, and take baby steps to address them. Essentially, regular brain dumping and reviewing of these lists in a weekly review can lead to better organization and reduction of stress.
📖 Get my latest book: How to Use a Planner Without Wasting Time
https://amzn.to/3CcRzuy
➡️ Take the free daily card challenge and practice with me!
https://www.simplyconvivial.info/todo-list/
🏆 Enroll in Simply Convivial Continuing Education and get practical life management mentorship so you don't have to be overwhelmed anymore:
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
No, you don't have to get all the housework done by yourself. However, you might have more help at your fingertips than you realize. Be sure to make use of your available resources as you make a workable cleaning plan!
Women are the backbone of society, so we must be free from cultural lies & personal guilt and have the freedom of good habits and self-control so we can build God-honoring families and communities.
📖 Get my latest book: How to Use a Planner Without Wasting Time
https://amzn.to/3CcRzuy
➡️ Take the free daily card challenge and practice with me!
https://www.simplyconvivial.info/todo-list/
🏆 Enroll in Simply Convivial Continuing Education and get practical life management mentorship so you don't have to be overwhelmed anymore:
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
How to find cheerfulness when life feels chaotic...
Women are the backbone of society, so we must be free from cultural lies & personal guilt and have the freedom of good habits and self-control so we can build God-honoring families and communities.
📖 Get my latest book: How to Use a Planner Without Wasting Time
https://amzn.to/3CcRzuy
➡️ Take the free daily card challenge and practice with me!
https://www.simplyconvivial.info/todo-list/
🏆 Enroll in Simply Convivial Continuing Education and get practical life management mentorship so you don't have to be overwhelmed anymore:
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
How to find cheerfulness when life feels chaotic...
Women are the backbone of society, so we must be free from cultural lies & personal guilt and have the freedom of good habits and self-control so we can build God-honoring families and communities.
📖 Get my latest book: How to Use a Planner Without Wasting Time
https://amzn.to/3CcRzuy
➡️ Take the free daily card challenge and practice with me!
https://www.simplyconvivial.info/todo-list/
🏆 Enroll in Simply Convivial Continuing Education and get practical life management mentorship so you don't have to be overwhelmed anymore:
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
Burning out is not something that needs to happen, even if life is going crazy.
Women are the backbone of society, so we must be free from cultural lies & personal guilt and have the freedom of good habits and self-control so we can build God-honoring families and communities.
📖 Get my latest book: How to Use a Planner Without Wasting Time
https://amzn.to/3CcRzuy
➡️ Take the free daily card challenge and practice with me!
https://www.simplyconvivial.info/todo-list/
🏆 Enroll in Simply Convivial Continuing Education and get practical life management mentorship so you don't have to be overwhelmed anymore:
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
- Create focused plans
- Find regular time for clearing mental clutter.
- Pursue a creative outlet.
- Take a technology Sabbath weekly and unwired vacations.
- Know your personality, your social role, your strengths, and work with them.
As moms, we plan a lot, but are we doing realistic planning?
The internet is full of self-help productivity advice. If you look into how to organize your life, so many options pop up. However, so many of them are not realistic for moms.
📖 Get my latest book: How to Use a Planner Without Wasting Time
https://amzn.to/3CcRzuy
➡️ Take the free daily card challenge and practice with me!
https://www.simplyconvivial.info/todo-list/
🏆 Enroll in Simply Convivial Continuing Education and get practical life management mentorship so you don't have to be overwhelmed anymore:
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
- Create focused plans
- Find regular time for clearing mental clutter.
- Pursue a creative outlet.
- Take a technology Sabbath weekly and unwired vacations.
- Know your personality, your social role, your strengths, and work with them.
Starting is the hardest part and that's definitely true of a homeschool day!
➡️ Take the free daily card challenge and practice with me!
https://www.simplyconvivial.info/todo-list/
🏆 Enroll in Simply Convivial Continuing Education and get practical life management mentorship so you don't have to be overwhelmed anymore:
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
📖 Get my latest book: How to Use a Planner Without Wasting Time
https://amzn.to/3CcRzuy
The best way to stay focused and make progress around the house and in your life is to limit your daily task list to three items. Here's how to do that!
➡️ Take the free daily card challenge and practice with me!
https://www.simplyconvivial.info/todo-list/
🏆 Enroll in Simply Convivial Continuing Education and get practical life management mentorship so you don't have to be overwhelmed anymore:
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
📖 Buy my latest book: How to Use a Planner Without Wasting Time
https://amzn.to/3CcRzuy
The best way to stay focused and make progress around the house and in your life is to limit your daily task list to three items. Here's how to do that!
➡️ Take the free daily card challenge and practice with me!
https://www.simplyconvivial.info/todo-list/
🏆 Enroll in Simply Convivial Continuing Education and get practical life management mentorship so you don't have to be overwhelmed anymore:
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
📖 Buy my latest book: How to Use a Planner Without Wasting Time
https://amzn.to/3CcRzuy
Enroll: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
Oh, Monday morning woe!
Dishes piled in the sink, counters overloaded with random bits, laundry mounting high out of the hampers. Extra gunk on the floor, toys left out, books strewn everywhere.
Everywhere I looked, I saw evidence that I was starting the week behind.
Everywhere I looked, I saw that I did not spent the weekend as I ought. I clearly did something wrong.
I used to think that I had to earn Sunday rest.
After all, I couldn’t actually rest if the house was a mess. Who could expect that?
So, if the house wasn’t up to snuff, I’d be cranky or despondent – which is simply another form of disobedient.
But, like salvation itself, Sunday rest is not something I earn. It’s something I receive, right where I’m at. I might not like where I’m at, but that’s where God intervenes, nonetheless.
I don’t have to pretty myself up or set myself up for success.
In this way, every Sunday, whether the house looks good or not, whether I look good or not, whether I feel ready or not, I experience again in a small taste what salvation by grace is like.
FREE PLANNING WORKSHOP: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/planner
The time you spend planning is often time wasted. But that doesn't need to be the case. Learn how to plan to save time rather than using planning to procrastinate.
Free module of my signature course: https://www.simplyconvivial.info/story/
When I feel like I want to walk away from life for a spell, what I actually need to walk away from is my own selfishness and idealistic dreams.
We tend to think of happiness as a mere feeling, something nice but unnecessary, something transient and superficial. However, happiness has always been a topic of deep interest to philosophers, and there is a long Christian tradition of both what happiness truly is and also how important it is.
Aristotle, Augustine, Aquinas, Pascal, Lewis – all agree that what people are searching for is happiness. And that is not a sinful search, but a proper one. We were created to live in perfect harmony and happiness with God and man, and we long for what we have lost in the Fall. Thus, only God satisfies the search for happiness, a search we should all make because it does lead us to God
Free guide: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/happy
We tend to think of happiness as a mere feeling, something nice but unnecessary, something transient and superficial. However, happiness has always been a topic of deep interest to philosophers, and there is a long Christian tradition of both what happiness truly is and also how important it is.
https://www.crowdcast.io/e/homeschool-logistics
We know we need curriculum and books and lists before the homeschool day begins, but what about logistics?
Logistics is our strategy for how things will be done - as opposed to the curriculum question of what will be done.
Our homeschool days are more about logistics than curriculum particulars, so let's address our logistics strategies head on before we finalize our homeschool plans.
Join me for a free workshop series that will give you 3 practical ways you can improve your homeschool logistics.
https://www.crowdcast.io/e/homeschool-logistics
Then forward this email to another homeschool mom friend who might enjoy joining, too! I'll be giving away resources and printables and more during the live sessions, so you don't want to miss it!
Each session I'll also give away a book to a random live attendee who participated in the chat! It'll be fun, energetic, meaty, and super practical.
Free home routine guide: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/routines
True confession: I’ve tried every configuration of laundry routine out there and never found one that made me stay on top of laundry.
I can discover a good rhythm, but then something will change.
It turns out that laundry is not evenly produced over time, so if by a “consistent” laundry routine we mean one where we do the same thing all the time and get the same results, it’s just never going to work.
Planners can easily be time-wasting rather than time-managing. How do we make sure our attempts at getting life together are going to be helpful and useful? I have three keys that will ensure they are.
Take the "Get Organized" Quiz - https://www.simplyconvivial.com/quiz - it will tell you what you should work on next to make the most progress, quickly.
Is life about getting more done? Are we too busy or are we too lazy? Perhaps we're careening between the two ditches.
What's a mom to do? Think true things. Listen up.
Free download: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/mindset
Your mindset as a mom matters and it's within your power to change.
Get organized quiz - https://www.simplyconvivial.com/quiz
Your mom tells you to make your bed.
The internet tells you to make your bed.
The productivity gurus tell you to make your bed.
But why???
Camaraderie-style accountability can help us spur one another on to any sort of good work: homemaking, homeschooling, holiness.
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works – Hebrews 10:24
Camaraderie-based accountability doesn’t have to be official, with rules and agreed-upon terms. If rules float your boat, lay some out; remember, however, that our lives demand flexibility. Hold the rules loosely, as guidelines, not as whips. If rules scare you, you don’t need them! This is really just a friendship-maker. Make a regular and routine topic of conversation what you’re up to and encourage each other to dig in and do the work with a cheerful heart. It can be very natural and informal.
Really, friendship-based, informal accountability is a way to do life together. In this way we keep track of what’s going on in each other’s lives and we can pray specifically and also encourage meaningfully and practically – perhaps even by lending a hand or an ear. It doesn’t have to look or sound spiritual or deep – yet it is. It is sharing the burden, even the mental burden, in an everyday, practical way.
The truth is that we care more when someone we care about cares.
Care is at the heart of motivation, and care is something we can give one another.
That is, when we have a friend who cares about our eating plan, our home routines, or our Bible reading habits, it helps us care more, too. That little extra nudge might be all we need to make it over the momentary emotional (i.e. motivational) blips.
Who can you walk alongside with camaraderie and care, and how will you regularly keep open the lines of communication?
Free guide to make your own housework system: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/2016/personalized-housecleaning-plan/
And our housework needs a framework just as much as anything else we do or use. We need to have an underlying structure that gives shape to our days and support to our sanity.
Without a framework, we’re sloppy, floppy, and choppy. We do this and that, here and there, and never feel like we’re getting anywhere – because we’re not.
So push pause.
Take some time out of the random peppering of chores and give yourself a framework that will make consistency possible.
Hang your habits on hooks.
Your habits will be more successful and stick sooner if you hang them on hooks already in your day.
Think in threes.
So make it easier to get started by narrowing down your focus to three things.
Move into maintenance mode.
Maintenance and “getting ahead” are two entirely different modes. Catching up and getting ahead is extra. Maintenance is daily, without fail, repetition.
Be ready for hospitality with my free tidy house guide: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/ehap
So, we know that our home is for hospitality, but it seems so hard – it’s extra, and we have no room for extra. We want to know how to be hospitable, but it doesn’t come naturally.
The one thing that makes hospitality so difficult is that we are out of practice.
It is easy to slip into selfish patterns: doing what needs to be done on our own agendas, taking a break, keeping to ourselves and our own thoughts. Instead, we need to practice the habit of hospitality.
The being hospitable includes but is much broader than having people over for dinner. It means inviting people into our lives – even the people that live in our houses.
It is not enough to simply share a roof with people. We need to share a life – a full life, a conversational life – with them.
Get a tidy house: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/ehap --free guide
It’s a truth universally acknowledged that a homeschool mom in possession of a large family must be in want of a housekeeper.
That’d be nice, wouldn’t it?
Some families can actually swing it, but most of us are on our own when it comes to keeping up with both school and home.
Of course we can bring the kids on board, and sometimes husbands can lend a hand, but there’s still a lot to do.
Our homeschool year is over, but this is the perfect time for a home routines audit as well as a homeschool audit – look at what worked and what didn’t, and figure out what to do this summer to set ourselves up for a better year next year.
I often hear from women who say they were organized when they worked in an office, but they just can’t manage to be – or at least feel – organized at home.
What makes it so hard to stay on top of basic tasks? Why is organization so hard to maintain?
I think it’s due to both the open-ended and repetitive nature of the job.
There are no bosses, no managers, no teachers. There are no paychecks, no grades, no due dates.
The tasks, once done, need to be done again, so there’s never the accomplished feeling of finishing.
We have to not only make our own plan, but also be the one to follow through on the plan without oversight.
Some of us are good at making the plan, but bad at follow-through. Some can follow a task list, but are less comfortable making that list themselves.
So homemaking ends up being a challenging position.
However, like entrepreneurship, it also offers a unique opportunity to shine, to grow in capacity, and to find fulfillment and satisfaction.
My book - The Convivial Homeschool: https://amzn.to/3rhFLBA
We homeschool to avoid the factory model and give our children an effective learning environment rather than an efficient one. Thus, our home life and our various ages working alongside one another is actually a perk, not a problem.
So what do you need to classically homeschool multiple kids? You need good books, time to read and talk about them, thoughtful and engaged brain work, encounters with the real world, and discipleship into living well alongside others. All of these things the home and family come fully equipped to provide.
We can’t homeschool well without confidence and independence – freedom – of mind. Classical education should bring both confidence and freedom by its very nature. If it doesn’t, it’s probably not actually classical.
In The Liberal Arts Tradition, Kevin Clark and Ravi Jain use this definition:
“The ancients believed education was fundamentally about shaping loves….It is for this goal of passing along a culture that the curriculum existed.” Kevin Clark and Ravi Jain, The Liberal Arts Tradition
While particular practices and day school techniques might not be feasible in the home, giving our kids an education with a classical goal, classical content, and for classical reasons is possible.
Why habits are hard workshop: https://youtu.be/dge2oieqJys
I would stare and shake my head.
My roommate in college made her bed - on the top bunk - every single morning.
Over 100 miles away from her mom, she made her bed because she wanted to.
I did not relate. I did not make my bed.
The difference was in our habits - AND our habits formed our tastes and desires.
Good home habits give peace of mind.
“The way you keep your house, the way you organize your time, the care you take in your personal appearance, the things you spend your money on all speak loudly about what you believe. “The beauty of Thy peace,” shines forth in an ordered life. A disordered life speaks loudly of disorder in the soul” - Elisabeth Elliot
The more I do work on establishing order, the more I realize what a peace-giving thing it is.
Organization is a SNAP Quiz: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/quiz
Daily Card Workshop: https://youtu.be/XQ81AJz5_ZM
Example planning pages: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/2021/planners-for-moms/
1 - Look at your planner multiple times a day.
2 - Do something from your planner after you look at it; let it guide your choices.
3 - Keep your planner clear and simple.
It’s so tempting to think that the only thing keeping us from being organized is the layout of the planner page. If we just had that planner, then we’d finally have it all put together.
We spend time setting up or even creating from scratch what we hope will be our perfect planner that will finally work for us, but then it doesn’t.
No matter what planner you have, it won’t make your plans happen automatically. That will always take effort, time, attention, and intention – every day.
We need to not only have a plan, we need to look at it multiple times a day and we need to then do what it says.
Daily Card Workshop: https://youtu.be/XQ81AJz5_ZM
Free Brain Dump Guide: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/braindump
Youtube version:
https://youtu.be/osTM2j8dCLw
We have so many tasks, thoughts, ideas, and appointments we need to keep track of, but sometimes the more we try to get the perfect system in place, the harder it seems to be to stay on top of things. Let's do a working but messy planner and actually accomplish the most important things without getting distracted and overwhelmed.
Get the free EHAP guide: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/ehap and discover how to keep your house mostly tidy most of the time, even with kids.
We think of our spaces when we think of getting organized, but we try to make our spaces and lives into things they are not rather than try to make the spaces facilitate more life, more living - not more expression of personal style.
Watch the episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/RpRprsEUhLo
Don't forget to listen to part 1 and subscribe so you don't miss a single episode in the series!
Watch the YouTube version with slides: https://youtu.be/0LutEE_zI14
Take the quiz: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/quiz
Share this episode and get the workbook for the series for free! Tell us how and where you shared at support@simplifiedorganization.com and we'll reply with the download link.
We must remember that the point of organizing is not so everything is neat and tidy and clear all the time. The point is that we are ready to do the right next thing; that we are maintaining an atmosphere of love and order in our home; and that our environment supports not only our work, but also the work of our children – the work of learning and growing and thriving.
That work is messy.
Enter: the island of sanity.
To help maintain your calm equilibrium in the midst of the chaotic, messy day-to-day, designate one small area as your own personal island of sanity.
When you don’t know where to start, start here.
So often, there’s so much out and so much clutter and so much to do that we don’t even know where to start.
When you have chosen an island of sanity, you always know where to start. And starting is always the hardest part.
Knowing where to start helps you get going and build momentum. Knowing where to start helps you build your habits and appreciate a clear space – even one clear space in the midst of chaotic clutter.
Build the habit of keeping it clear.
When I was learning to care about cleanliness and neatness, choosing one island of sanity and appreciating this one small spot in a sea of “need to do” around the house helped me so much.
Education as a program, even classically, did not traditionally begin until the child was reasoning. Talk to a 9 or 10 year old child for a time and observe the difference between his thinking process and conversational ability and your 5 or 6 year old. When the oldest is 5 or 6, and he’s followed by younger siblings, he seems so smart, so capable. He is. But he is also still quite young.
Whatever you do, don’t try to start Latin with your 5 or 6 year old. Rather, read fairy tales, Aesop’s fables, and begin working your way through the 1000 Good Books list.
Don’t construct science experiments. Have him spend hours outside each day, and go to different sorts of outdoor environments to play. In Teaching Science So Students Learn Science, classical school teacher John Mays says that outdoor experience is the best foundation for later science learning, and it comes at a premium in this tech-driven age.
Start Morning Time, but not full-blown mimics of those who have older kids and have been doing it for years. Start with 15-20 minutes, including the reading of poetry and nursery rhymes. Pick a hymn and a Psalm to learn, add a new one every couple of months, and in ten years the amount you’ve filled your heart and mind with will astonish you. But it starts with one, not with a full binder.
Do not despise the days of small beginnings.
Short circuit the boom and bust cycle by taking advantage of just ten minutes at a time. Don't overthink it.
Time Budget Resources: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/time
Just like Dave Ramsey has you use cash envelopes for your spending budgets, we can reserve envelopes of time for our various responsibilities across the week.
Rather than scheduling 20 minutes for folding laundry, 10 minutes for sweeping, and so forth for every task we have on our list, we can look at our days and weeks as a whole and reserve chunks of time for types of tasks. Then when that chunk of time begins, we can assess the current state of things and decide what comes first and what’s next.
A week is never going to play out the way we budget our time, but it’s still a valuable exercise because as we mark out the time commitments we have, we start to see where we have margin, where we need to create margin, and perhaps why things like grocery shopping or phone calls are so stressful – there’s no place for them in the flow of our week!
As we start filling in the overview of our weeks with our commitments and responsibilities, we also need to keep an eye on whether or not we have healthy amounts of rest built into our weeks. We can’t function in go-go-go mode all day, every day.
Time budgeting help: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/time
Most of our overwhelm as moms comes from feeling like we don't have enough time to do all the things we need to do.
We don't have enough time to do all the things, but we do have enough time to do what we must.
We have to be sure we're telling ourselves the truth and choose a right response rather than overwhelm.
When time is short, prioritize your family and your vocations without concern for appearances. Humbly serve your family, whether it meets your personal standards or not.
We do have the time to do all God's called us to do.
Time budgeting help: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/time
Get started: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
Most of us began our lives as wives and mothers not only without any training or instruction in running a home, but also without any real examples in our own history and life to follow. We want to identify as a homemaker, but still feel uncomfortable doing so.
We so desperately want to do a good job, and we jump in with both feet and suddenly find we’re drowning.
Modern society conditioned us to think that the job of a homemaker and mom was mundane, simple, outsource-able, unfulfilling work. “So,” we unwittingly think, “I should totally be able to manage this and do a good job.”
Then, to our surprise, we find that it’s a lot of work and that we’re wholly unprepared for all it demands of us.
We’ve had no training in how to be homemakers.
Our society is set up to believe that education is meant to prepare you for your work. We go into debt, spend 4 or more years of life, and plan to come out of that ready for a fulfilling career.
On the one hand, then, we buy the argument that homemaking is fulfilling and meaningful work, yet on the other hand, we don’t think it takes any real training or education to do it. In what other meaningful work is that the case?
Past societies didn’t have the university system. Instead, they relied on apprenticeships and relational training. Children learned how to survive and work from their parents. Tradesmen learned their craft from an experienced master. Knowledge and skill were past on through relationship over time.
But mom is home alone with her small children, no one there helping her see what the next thing she ought to do really is. Who will help sort out the details and make it all fit into a manageable whole? We can blame our mothers, but even our mothers, at this point, didn’t have mothers who taught them either.
I designed Simplified Organization Community Coaching to be the mentorship most of us never had, the encouraging cheerleading squad many of us can't find, with the gospel-centered base all of us need.
Starting now and continuing together all year long, we are going to take baby step after baby step and finally find our feet as homemakers.
With Simplified Organization Community Coaching, you'll get the personal development and mentorship you've been seeking, but that Google and Facebook just can never give you.
Enroll today.
Get my new book! https://amzn.to/31nKs2A
It’s one thing to start the school year strong, but quite another to keep at it after the weeks start blurring together. Motivation to homeschool ebbs away, and we can’t wait for some natural, overwhelming incoming tide to return.
Instead of being tossed about on the waves of our emotions and hormones (which turn into tropical storms when they crash into the emotions and hormones of our children), we need to treat motivation like a garden and cultivate it. A garden has variety; it’s not made up of one thing. It’s the same with motivation. There are a number of things we can plant in our motivation garden that will keep it blooming and growing.
We need homeschool motivation because it’s our responsibility as the parent-teacher to educate our children. It’s not optional and we set the tone for the day and the standard for the behavior. If we can’t muster up the motivation to start the homeschool day, how can we expect our children to have the motivation to do their work? We must model ourselves what we expect from them.
Much of the time, what we call a lack of motivation is simply inertia. It’s hard to get started. It’s hard to get up and get moving. It’s hard to focus our attention and summon the energy.
Overcome inertia by making it easy to get started with an energetic, upbeat attitude.
These ten practices will increase your motivation for average homeschool days.
Have a morning routine.
Start with a song.
Use a checklist.
Keep several favorite quotes in view.
Smile at your kids.
Listen to encouraging podcasts.
Get everything ready to go the night before.
Share learning with your kids.
Ask what they learned or read at dinner.
Live life alongside your kids.
Share your favorite homeschool quote, podcast, or tip in the comments!
Get The Convivial Homeschool book: https://amzn.to/3reVoug
When homeschool days go bad, we wonder if we are missing something or if there are better ways out there we’re missing. We want a lovely homeschool lifestyle, full of laughter and joy and definitely lots of learning – without tears. How’s a homeschool mom to make that happen?
These techniques are how I work toward a better homeschool every day.
Best Homeschool Technique #1 – Manage Expectations
Best Homeschool Technique #2 – Pay Attention
Best Homeschool Technique #3 – Repent Always
See how your homeschool is doing with the REAL homeschool quiz: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/homeschool
I don’t know about you, but I always start off the year thinking that this year will be more awesome than last because this year I’m committed to really being, well, awesome.
This school year will be different because I will be different.
So, a decade into homeschooling and having rounded the bend of my thirties, maybe that idealism and optimism is tempered a bit, but I still feel it even if I try to suppress it.
Maybe we won’t wake up whole new people on Monday morning, transformed into mothers who do the right thing every time, yet each year – depending on the year – we should try to take the next step in growing, maturing, and increasing.
Rather than start the school year with strong but unrealistic goals to be 100% consistent, to never yell, or to always follow the plan, we should go into the year with concrete strategies for exactly how we will improve our teaching and leading skills this year.
Be a better homeschool teacher by controlling our tone
Having taught classes to homeschool kids before teaching my own, it didn’t take me long into teaching my own to notice that for a class of other children, my tone immediately changes and I go into “teacher mode.” With my own children, I just stay in “me mode” which seems like it should be better, but isn’t. Maybe it’s “authentic” but it isn’t as helpful.
I admit that one reason I still teach classes with other students mixed in with my own is to make it easier for me to enter “teacher zone” and give my kids the benefit of more conscious, purposeful, self-controlled teaching style.
Mom’s tone matters. We don’t want our children to feel alone in their troubles and challenges even while they’re sitting next to us. To accomplish that, we can take a positive step and a negative step.
Be a better homeschool teacher by controlling our words
This could be counted as controlling our tone, but I’m thinking of a more specific situation. In a homeschool day, we have to communicate many things to several people. Have you ever felt frustratingly incapable of that? Have you ever blamed the child for your lack of ability to communicate with him? I know I have (and do).
Maybe I’m right and maybe I’m blame-shifting, but what I need is a strategy of communication that lets me cut through the blame and move our day forward.
Classical education to the rescue. There’s this thing called Socratic teaching, and it applies in helping with math as much as it applies in literary discussions.
Steven Covey made it a principle, a habit, of highly effective people, and highly effective people is exactly what we’re trying to be. He wrote:
Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
Usually I’m seeking to be finished. That’s where the trouble arises.
Be a better homeschool teacher by controlling our thoughts
Our words and our tone are merely overflows of our heart, and we are commanded to take every thought captive. That means it’s possible.
We might need to understand and direct our kids’ thought-trains, but we also need to be aware of our own and redirect our own as needed as well.
Our thoughts are not inevitable, but our words and tone will flow inevitably from them.
So if we want to control our tone and control our words, we need to also control our thoughts.
SNAP into organization QUIZ: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/quiz
I had put dinner on the table.
Wasn’t that enough for one day?
To get up and then face the collection of plates, cups, pans, utensils, pots – not to mention the counters themselves.
Ugh.
Soaking seemed to be the best solution.
If the dishes wait, no harm is done.
Really, I was being a better housekeeper for putting it all off until the morning.
It would take me so much less time, I told myself, to wait until the morning. The dishes would have soaked. I would have coffee. I could knock it out in no time – in the morning.
For now, I’ll just go read and forget about this room. I’ve always been good at justifying my procrastination.
And so for quite some time I always spent the first part of my day cleaning up from the day before. I refused to feel bad about it. I had made it my deliberate choice and strategy. It wasn’t the worst choice I’ve made in my life, but it didn’t help me, despite my protestations that it did.
The idea that helped me break out of this procrastination rut was “clearing to neutral.”
If the dishes wait, procrastination wins. Here's one cleaning strategy to beat procrastination.
What’s the point?
I used to think like this:
“What is the point of making my bed? I’ll only sleep in it again.”
“What is the point of cleaning the island? I’ll only cook on it again.”
“What is the point of washing the dishes? We’ll only use them again.”
The dishes can wait because we don’t need them again this instant. Why do them now?
But the change started with the dishes. Then I realized it applied to the island. Finally, I even started making my bed due to the same reasoning.
We wash the dishes because we’ll use them again.
I need to clean the island so that it’s ready to cook on again.
Actually, the reason I need to make my bed is so that we can sleep in it again, welcomed to our rest like decent and orderly people rather than collapsing in a mess like slobs.
The story we tell ourselves matters.
Clearing to neutral is a concept to save us both from perfectionism on the one hand and sloppiness on the other.
Perfectionism thinks the point of a kitchen is to be a pristine showpiece. If it is anything other than perfect, it is not acceptable. This can make us either strive ceaselessly to make our kitchen look like no one lives in the house or, on the other hand, give up all attempts to make it look nice because we will never reach our too-high expectations.
Sloppiness thinks the point of a kitchen is merely to hold things and to perform certain tasks in. Its state does not matter.
Elisabeth Elliot once wrote:
The way you keep your house, the way you organize your time, the care you take in your personal appearance, the things you spend your money on, all speak loudly about what you believe. The beauty of Thy peace shines forth in an ordered life. A disordered life speaks loudly of disorder in the soul.
Our homes are tools to be used for the building up of people. Tools must be cared for, or they aren’t going to last long or be as effective. But the point is never to have a perfectly organized wall of tools that are never used. The use is the important part, but caring for them is essential to their being able to be used.
Organization quiz: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/quiz
Are you a perfectionist? Is the reason for your chaos actually perfectionism?
Those who want all or nothing generally get nothing.
I used to think I was not a perfectionist, because nothing I did was perfect. I was a slob, so how could I be a perfectionist?
If all-or-nothing perfectionism is our tendency, then we shouldn’t be surprised when we can’t get up off the couch. Why start when we know we won’t accomplish what we’d like?
Such perfectionism is debilitating, and it’s that debilitation that causes us to end up in chaos and discouragement that we can’t pull up out of.
So how do we, then, pull up out of it? How can we pull up out of ourselves?
Recover from perfectionism by practicing baby steps.
Perfectionism is the mother of boom and bust cycles: a spurt of energy and enthusiasm propels us forward, but goals give way to reality and, because we didn’t meet the unrealistic goals, we sputter to a halt and give up.
Baby steps are not glamorous, they don’t seem significant, but they lead to real, noticeable, tangible progress when we are content to stick with them.
When we feel resistance to doing what needs to be done, instead of either trying to grit our teeth and power through, we can make it simpler to start by reducing what we’re expecting from ourselves.
Perfectionism is false expectation. We envision the end we want, and if we know it won’t happen, we don’t begin. The best way out is to change what we envision, to take a humbler view of ourselves and our efforts, and submit to imperfect yet faithful next steps.
Find out about our community: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/membership
Hear from a number of women about personalizing and customizing a planner to make it work for your life and needs.
Planners don't have to be one-size-fits-all and they don't have to be confining or busy work.
Keeping a weekly dashboard - in any format - will help you keep your plates spinning when life is hectic and busy.
Take the "get organized" quiz: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/quiz
How to set up and organize any planner so that it works for you. Planner organization can seem complicated, but it really doesn't need to be.
We can waste a lot of time setting up our planners. Here's the brass tacks of planner set-up:
List current projects.
Update your calendar so it's complete and correct, with the next 3 months visible.
Have a set of lists for your week
Have a list of your daily top 3
Have a space for taking notes and keeping running lists and thoughts.
Work Your Plan: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/stop-overwhelm
A functional planner depends more on the user than the page templates and formats. You are the secret to your own functional planner, no matter what system you use.
Three Rules to a Working Planner:
It has a place for projects, notes, and a daily top three
You carry it around with you and look at it throughout the day
You update it every day, every week, and every quarter
It's not the pages, but the process that makes a planner effective and functional.
Stop getting distracted and find the motivation you need to get momentum, find focus, make progress.
Moms need to know how to stop getting distracted, because it's too easy to lose track of what's important and what needs to be done. We don't want to waste our time.
To stop wasting time, we need better time management skills. Those skills include the simple practice of writing things down.
We wonder how to stay focused, but it's as simple as writing things down, as brain dumping, to know what's actually on our plate.
SHOW LESS
Download the free guide: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/braindump
We all know the feeling. You can't focus, you can't think straight. You can't get a handle on life.
The truth is that your mind is for having ideas, not holding them.
Clear the clutter to free up your creative energy.
Three steps:
Spend 10-15 minutes everyday writing down the
- thoughts that make you anxious,
- the thoughts that repeat themselves,
- the nagging questions and tasks
When your mind is uncluttered, you come up with out of the box solutions you'd never have been able to think about when your mind was full of junk.
Find my free brain dump guide here: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/braindump
When you're feeling unmotivated, it's hard to get things done. We want to be more productive, but when we're feeling that lack of motivation we drag and dawdle.
This one practice is the golden key to overcoming a lack of motivation and kicking your productivity motor into gear.
You might wonder how to be more productive when you're feeling unmotivated, and the answer often comes down to acting in the way you want to feel.
Whether you're working from home or working at home or both, you want to feel motivated and productive, but it's easy to feel stuck instead.
Get help ending overwhelm & stress: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/braindump
My quick hack for busy moms will save your sanity when you have so much to juggle. When you're looking for hacks, you usually want a secret you're missing - and I have that for you today.
Too often busy moms are go go go and get confused and overwhelmed about what's next. We risk missing life because we were so busy juggling details.
My quick and unexpected hack today - a brain dump - is the key process to stopping the cycle and getting clear about what needs to happen next and what is truly important.
Your situation is probably not as bad as your imagination is spinning it; brain dump and see reality instead of drama.
busymoms #momlife
Menu planning doesn't need to take a long time. These tips will get you to meal time peace.
More tips here: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/2019/how-to-grocery-shop/
Improve your grocery shopping skill! These 3 grocery store tips will save you time and money and make grocery shopping simple.
Watch the "Save Time in the Kitchen" Workshop! https://www.simplyconvivial.info/pantry
I know it seems overwhelming.
I know even just planning dinner sometimes seems overwhelming.
But, seriously, who wants to wake up and decide in the pre-coffee fog what to feed the troops for breakfast?
It has to be decided ahead of time.
Everyone talks about how much planning out dinners saves you from mental effort and decision fatigue, but that’s only 1/3 of the meals you feed people! Imagine if all the meals were planned – how much mental effort and decision fatigue would that reduce?
Personally, I think the reason we balk at planning all the meals is that we build dinner menu planning into this herculean effort. Do we want to do that 2 more times over? No way! But if we simplify not only the two lighter meals, but also the dinner effort, we can have our plan and our peace of mind as well.
Make an Easier Dinner Plan
You don’t need to have elaborate dinners every night to have a complete, healthy meal. Try thinking in threes and keeping easy to prepare vegetables always on hand. Rather than browse Pinterest or magazines to come up with dinner ideas, keep a list of your family’s go-to meals. Or, use Simplified Dinners, which is your list and guideline already put together.
Make an Easier Lunch Plan
Lunch, whether you have to pack it or pause the other business of the day to prepare it, it always seems to get in the way. While taking a lunch break is refreshing, taking the time to prepare it is not.
Make an Easier Breakfast Plan
Breakfast hits us out of the blue, first thing in the morning. Rather than rolling out of bed without a clue about what to feed the troops, you need a plan in order to get things moving without feeling out of control.
A solid breakfast starts the day off on the right foot, so planning it is essential.
Watch the "Save Time in the Kitchen" Workshop! https://www.simplyconvivial.info/pantry
Does menu planning seem impossibly hard? It really can be.
So today let's talk about a simple way to make it easier. We will talk about building your own meal templates that will take the thinking out of menu planning.
Do the Daily Card Challenge: https://www.simplyconvivial.info/daily-card/
What if you made a plan, you picked your real top three priorities for the day, and then you did none of them and you have no excuses. There is no good reason why you didn't do what you ought to do.
Are we just bad planners or are we just hopeless? No. Neither.
How do we make progress without giving up and without making the same mistakes, again, figuring out the mistakes we made so that we can learn from them. That's the important lesson that we need to talk about and need to figure out.
What if you just didn't do the right thing? What then you are not worthless or helpless or hopeless. You are just normal human, maybe tired, maybe worn out, maybe burnt out. Maybe there's some kind of roadblock preventing you from getting those things done that you haven't identified. There all kinds of reasons that the top priority things don't happen.
Sometimes we just don't have the energy or attention that we need to make them happen. Sometimes the high priority task actually has to take a back seat to catching up on sleep or maybe doing an exercise program. I know, I know don't shoot the messenger, but the reality is that we need to be sure that the fundamentals, the foundation of our productivity is taken care of before we can have that productivity to work in before we can get some of those big things done, we need to have sleep.
We need to have energy. We need to have the time available. And sometimes we just don't have those foundational pieces. And so we have to scale back our expectations and focus on building the building blocks of managing life. Before we do the things that give us progress. Sometimes we don't really have any excuse at all, though.
It happens. It happens to me. And I know it just happens to all of us. We just don't do what we ought to do. No good reason, no excuses. And that just needs to be confessed repented of before God who has given us the time he's given us the responsibility is he has given us the resources. And when we don't use them, when we just get stuck in self-indulgence or a lethargy or acedia, we can turn to repentance, which is not beating ourselves up and feeling bad.
It's confessing and turning from the sin and asking God for the forgiveness and the grace and the motivation to move forward to obey. And he gives us the ability and the strength when we don't have it ourselves. And sometimes that's the lesson that we need to learn. Sometimes we need to recognize that we were trying to move forward and work in our own strength.
Sometimes just making decisions or purchasing materials, just little steps that actually have to happen before the big project can move forward before the actual task can get done.
Turn what you think is one task into a project and list out every single step and then identify what is the one next thing that needs to happen out of these various steps. Pick one that's next and break that bigger overwhelming task down into just a getting started task. And a lot of times that is all we need to start seeing traction and getting some momentum. We just haven't broken things down into small enough pieces to actually manage and move forward.
The daily card is a great way to make that happen because we can just flip it over and use the backside to brain dump, to figure out where you're stuck and why write down a prayer, write down the next, the real next step so that you can figure make a better choice. Tomorrow. The daily card really is the planner that we all need to see some progress in our day to day life.
Free 5-Day Daily Card Challenge: https://www.simplyconvivial.info/daily-card/
So you've been using the daily card writing down your top three or what you think are your top three, but then other stuff comes up. Was your plan a waste of time? What do you do when your top three is not what you do in the day?
So, so often when we get those top three items chosen and we write them down on our daily card, something else comes up and we don't do those things. Not because we were lazy or self-indulgent or apathetic, but just because other stuff came up, other priorities took precedence.
That does not mean that the daily card doesn't work. It doesn't mean that it's not the right option for you. It just means that we're learning what life is like.
And we are living the life that we are given, not the life that we are making or trying to claim for ourselves. And that's a better option to live within the Providence of God and recognize that he sends his plan, which is often different from ours. And so, even though we are making a plan to attempt to identify our top priorities, sometimes we're wrong. Sometimes we don't have enough information.
And so a big way that the daily card can help us is when we use it to, to actually identify and remind ourselves, tell ourselves of where our plans need to be, where our attention needs to be. And that's sometimes the things that we would not normally count, but it really is our primary responsibility for that day.
Sometimes it's just errands, just doctor's appointments, just chauffeuring, children around cheerfully, and maybe using that time in the car to have conversations with them. Sometimes it's just feeding and clothing people, and a read aloud or audio book would be a good bonus. We can use our daily card not to create the life that we think we ought to have or write down what we think we ought to get done, but really out of everything, out of all the options, what's the best way we can spend our time today and identify those and write them down.
And at the end of the day, if what we wrote down does not get done, we can ask ourselves really truly is it because I picked the wrong things, what were the right things? And maybe write those down instead, like cross out what you wrote and write down the priorities that actually happened that day.
And over time, we can learn about ourselves, about our life and about how to make an appropriate plan for the current season in life that we're at in the current responsibilities that we have.
Free 5-Day Daily Card Challenge: https://www.simplyconvivial.info/daily-card/
So I have one planner secret that will make all the difference, no matter what planner you use, even if that planner is just a post-it note, there is a secret that applies and makes that planner actually useful in your day-to-day life. You're ready.
You've got to look at your list and you've got to do what it says. I know ground breaking, planning secrets here. Stay tuned for more where that came from.
A post-it note is great because it's small. And so it reminds you that your day is finite and you have to make some tough choices about how to spend that time. The other benefit of using a post-it note or an index card is that it is portable and portability helps with visibility. We need to be looking at our planner throughout the day. That's not a write it and forget it kind of an activity if we want that plan to actually make a difference in our day.
So a great way to keep your post-it note handy is to pop it on the back of your phone or stick an index card in your back pocket. If you have a planner or a calendar that you like, and that you do use a post-it note can be a great addition because you can stick it on the calendar and see your calendar, as well as your top three for the day.
So often we try buying a new planner, printing a new planner, creating a new planner from scratch in hopes that the planner will keep us on track.
But the reality is that it's actually our time and attention to what's written to filling it out and then looking at it that makes a planner work.
The format of the planner, the colors, the layout, the options are sometimes more of a distraction and a hindrance than they are a help to us getting more done.
Sometimes the amount of space and options in a planner actually makes us too optimistic and over plan. Sometimes, a planner can make us more stressed out rather than less.
I want to show you how to keep a simple plan that will help you be more productive and do the right things without getting overwhelmed. We are going to create a clutter free planner with a post-it note or an index card.
That's all, it takes a small little something that will keep you on target with the bare minimum list that stays in front of your face. So let's talk today about clutter free planner.
Instead of focusing on the hurting or the tiredness, focus on the growing.
It is good to want to grow up, and along the way the growing will cause pains, aches, and tiredness. If we look at the growth, we will be encouraged and be able to bear the aches. If we focus exclusively on how we feel, we will be discouraged, sad, and upset.
When your heart and mind fight to be cranky, and you struggle to win the fight and stay cheerful, and you win it, you have a real success to be cheerful about, even if you feel worn out by it. Remember, prayer is the most effective weapon in the fight against a bad attitude.
Do you think your story is all about you? That might be your biggest problem in living out a good story.
Get hope and help telling a truer, better story: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/story for a free module from my course Organize Your Attitude all about Living in Story.
We're all constantly narrating a story about what's going on around us. Inside our head, the ticker tape comments never stop.
Is the story you're seeing and telling yourself accurate? Have you ever stopped to think about the perspective your own narrator has?
Reality doesn't change based on what you think or say, but what you think or say can give you a skewed vision of reality. We should make sure the interpretations we tell ourself, the stories we spin inside our own head, line up with reality before we believe them or persist in them.
Telling yourself a true story is the basic step in organizing your attitude.
Need more help with this? You'll find it at www.simplyconvivial.com
So, we know that our home is for hospitality, but it seems so hard – it’s extra, and we have no room for extra. We want to know how to be hospitable, but it doesn’t come naturally.
The one thing that makes hospitality so difficult is that we are out of practice.
It is easy to slip into selfish patterns: doing what needs to be done on our own agendas, taking a break, keeping to ourselves and our own thoughts. Instead, we need to practice the habit of hospitality.
The being hospitable includes but is much broader than having people over for dinner. It means inviting people into our lives – even the people that live in our houses.
It is not enough to simply share a roof with people. We need to share a life – a full life, a conversational life – with them.
And that sort of life will overflow into the lives of others through invitations and conversations, but mostly through our demeanor. The way we treat people is either selfish or welcoming, inviting, and interested. When we practice that mindset and manner with our family, it will become how we treat others as well. The habit of hospitality will shape all our interactions.
The ways we are hospitable to others are the same ways we are hospitable to our family. And if we are not first hospitable to our family, we cannot be truly hospitable to anyone else.
But when we get our picture of what hospitality should look like from the magazine rack or HGTV, we stress out and shut down.
The kind of hospitality God wants us to offer, however, is not according to worldly standards. The world’s goal for hospitality is to impress. God’s goal for hospitality is to knit. Through opening our doors and our lives to one another, we grow as a community. When we gather as a church body and share a meal and our lives, our love and fellowship deepens. When we gather in those outside, we show them what it’s like inside – inside the bounds of God’s family, God’s body, God’s community.
Hospitality is not about showing off or impressing others. So we do not have to postpone it until the kitchen reno is complete, until the yard is gorgeous, or until we feel ready. We simply invite others into life, as is.
That said, there are 3 ways I simplify the process and make it less stressful, less burdensome, to regularly have people over.
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/
Pursue hospitality. It’s a command. It’s a duty. But it doesn’t mean that we all need to be having people over for dinner every week.
Well, except for our people – we feed them every day, every week – three times a day, even. That’s hospitality, too.
The goal of hospitality means that we see our homes as tools in the formation of people, not as trophies to be kept beautiful.
As G.K. Chesterton reminds us: The business done in the home is nothing less than the shaping of the body and soul of humanity.
As homemakers, we’re making hospitable homes, homes that shape the bodies and souls of humanity.
Those souls’ bodies might have been shaped in our wombs or not. Those bodies might sleep between sheets we wash or not. But our goal is that all the bodies and souls under our roof for years or for hours be shaped for good by the time spent in our homes.
That’s our business.
Our home is for the service of building up people.
Need to overcome chaos? Check out this article with a free housecleaning guide: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/clean/
No matter how much we clean and organize, it never stays that way. What gives? What are we doing wrong?
The only thing we’re doing wrong is thinking it would be otherwise.
Entropy is real. Disorder happens. That’s exactly why we have a job, a responsibility, as homemakers, to keep things running.
It’s a truth universally acknowledged that a home with many small children will be messy. And, if you ever find a magazine, tv show, or blog that does not acknowledge that reality, run. Run away. They don’t actually have help for you, only marketing facades and wishful thinking.
If we’re going to be effective homemakers, we need to be walking in light of truth and reality.
Did you assume you’d be a more organized mother and homemaker than you are? Did you think it’d be easier than it turned out to be? I’m right there with you. I hear from women all the time who say that before kids they were so organized and they don’t know why they can’t figure it out now with life with kids.
I’ll tell ya: The problem isn’t with the kids or your house. It’s with your mindset and your expectations. Family life is different from project-based work and homemaking is different from a job with a boss and a schedule. Children need attention and response in the moment. Children’s needs cannot be predicted and planned, only addressed as needed. That takes a different skill set. Homemaking requires us to be self-directed, self-managed, and self-motivated - a different skill set than being a good employee.
At Simply Convivial continuing education we learn and practice the skill sets this family life at home requires, all while remembering that the people are the point and our work is a calling and service given to us by God. When we practice in this mindset we not only improve our skill, we also find contentment and satisfaction, even when things don’t go our way.
Remember to pop on over to https://www.simplyconvivial.com/attitude to get your free attitude adjustment audit and reclaim and renew your mindset.
And always remember to Repent. Rejoice. Repeat.
Don't miss the ABCs of decluttering workshop: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/2021/the-abcs-of-doable-decluttering-with-free-workshop-replay/
What is clutter? If you’re going to declutter, you have to be able to answer that question.
It’s harder than it seems, and knowing the difference between clutter and not-clutter might just be the difference between success and failure in your decluttering project.
Clutter is stuff that doesn’t belong where it happens to be.
Clutter is not only things you don’t want or need.
So to declutter means to remove the things that don’t belong.
Declutter Workshop with slide deck download: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/2021/the-abcs-of-doable-decluttering-with-free-workshop-replay/ (no email signup required)
How long is it going to take you to declutter?
Decluttering can be an overwhelming project. It might feel like there’s no end and no hope in sight.
You might be right about that.
Declutter in 10 minutes a day and change your perspective on the task of decluttering.
Did you assume you’d be a more organized mother and homemaker than you are? Did you think it’d be easier than it turned out to be? I’m right there with you. I hear from women all the time who say that before kids they were so organized and they don’t know why they can’t figure it out now with life with kids.
I’ll tell ya: The problem isn’t with the kids or your house. It’s with your mindset and your expectations. Family life is different from project-based work and homemaking is different from a job with a boss and a schedule. Children need attention and response in the moment. Children’s needs cannot be predicted and planned, only addressed as needed. That takes a different skill set. Homemaking requires us to be self-directed, self-managed, and self-motivated - a different skill set than being a good employee.
At Simply Convivial continuing education we learn and practice the skill sets this family life at home requires, all while remembering that the people are the point and our work is a calling and service given to us by God. When we practice in this mindset we not only improve our skill, we also find contentment and satisfaction, even when things don’t go our way.
Remember to pop on over to https://simplyconvivial.com/attitude to get your free attitude adjustment audit and reclaim and renew your mindset.
And always remember to Repent. Rejoice. Repeat.
Perfectionism is the most likely reason that we procrastinate doing a weekly review. Perfectionism trips us up and tricks us into thinking that we will do more and do better - later, not now. In this episode, we learn how to identify perfectionism and defeat it.
We have a lot of options for planners. From paper planners to online apps, there are myriads of resources available to choose from. Yet even with all of these resources, we often find ourselves overwhelmed by overplanning, overconfident in our abilities to accomplish what "needs" to get done.
In this exerpt from a members-only mentoring session, Mystie delves into this problem and explores different answers.
However, to use this tool to its fullest extent, a few guidelines must be followed. Among them: don't overplan. Seems simple, right? Yet all too often, we pile too much on our plates, thinking that it would be good to start another project, start another book club, etc etc. All these projects simply degrade the usefulness of your calendar. Rather than being a list and schedule of the things you will do, it becomes a wish list of things you want to do.
So reevaluate your calendar, cut off the flabby, unnecessary projects that are stressing you out, and, of course, repent, rejoice, repeat.
If you don't have a weekly review in place, all your time setting up a new planner and calendar for the year is wasted. Plans only work if you look at them and keep them current and correct.
A weekly review does exactly that. It's a time to make your planner and your planning systems work for you. Be sure that the time you spend getting organized actually helps you stay organized by sticking with it regularly through a weekly review.
Look at your lists to make them work!
Not only is ready the fifth step of preparing for 2021, it is also an acronym that the members of Simplified Organization Community Coaching will be doing as a deep dive.
In this video, Mystie briefly discusses the first, familiar element of the acronym as well as the final, surprising component.
It seems patently obvious: of course you have to buy a new planner. I mean, it's a new year, you at least need a new calendar, right? True, but think about what is connected with that calendar: the entire way you plan out you year, months, and days. What worked and, more importantly, what didn't in 2020? What do you need to fix for 2021?
Next reset some of your routines. Now, this doesn't mean going all the way back to the drawing board. Just pick one of your routines that was not ideal and hard to hold to throughout the year and reset it, reevaluating your strategy.
And of course, we all need to reset our attitude, no matter what. There's no doubt, 2020 has produced some bad memories, bad habits, and bad attitudes. As we all know, the attitude is the starting point of everything. So evaluate yourself, replace the bad attitude that you find with one grounded in Christ, whose birth we are celebrating this week.
One cannot rejoice if one is weary, exhausted, and cranky. And let's face it, 2020 has probably left us all three. So if we want to have any semblance of a productive 2021, we will need to renew ourselves.
And how does that happen? Through the Word, of course. That is the point of this season: to renew ourselves, not necessarily through the copious consumption of candy, but through the memory and reverence of the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Without Him, we will not find true renewal, and we will remain the tired, exhausted, cranky creatures we naturally are.
So take a moment and reflect. Review the year, and while doing so, look to Christ to become renewed, ready for another year with which to glorify Him.
2020 was a weird, hard year, but God was still doing good work through it all. We need to take the time to notice and appreciate in gratitude God's good work even amidst the confusion and difficulty.
Before planning the coming year, we need to process the previous. Let's do that together through this guided practice.
What have you done with 2020? Is it relegated to being the punchline of every joke? If it is, then you need to review what actually happened, what you got done. Everything has a purpose, and 2020 was the harsh wake up call we all needed.
Too often we focus on the negative: everything cancelled, political turmoil, etc. etc. It's easy to see that. But that's not what we need to look for. We need to look for the good, the things we got right, the things we need to fix. It's time to review, because 2020 will end and we need to be ready for 2021.
So get ready for 2021 and repent, rejoice, repeat.
What is the key to festivity in your household? Is it the Christmas tree, laden with ornaments? Perhaps it's the constant supply of fudge and candy, threatening your kids' teeth with cavities. What if it was none of those things?
Mystie explains in this video that the key to festivity is your festivity. As the idiom goes, if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. So strive this holiday season to be the happy one in the household. See for yourself that when you shine festivity, you will see it come to life and reflect back to you.
While we enjoy spending time with our friends and family during this jovial season, we must keep our priorities and attitudes correct. These are holy days: that's where the word holiday comes from. What makes them holy, you ask? We are called to remember God's place in our lies, how He provided for our forefathers in Plymouth and how He came down, incarnate, to save us from our sin. This is the real purpose of the season, to remember and praise our Lord for the great gifts He has given us.
How can you enjoy your kids more? Sure you love them and all, but do you enjoy them?
What does enjoying your kids even mean? Does it seem to make your children objects, rather than human beings? It shouldn't. Smile at your kids, but more importantly, smile with you kids. Watch your kids, but don't just watch them, listen to them. There are many things vying for our attention, but don't get distracted from your calling: being a good mother.
Kids love to play. That's a fact. But is it your job to play with them? That seems.... tiring. Mystie Winckler tackles this question on today's episode of Help for Homemakers. The answer may surprise (and relieve) you.
Turns out you don't. Your job is not to be a child, that time has past and gone. More often than not, a grownup trying to enter into a spirit of play with the kids dampens the mood more than lightening it. Rather, you should foster an environment that facilitates good, imaginative play. As the adult, you need to fulfill your adulting duties faithfully to allow your children to be children.
Is this easier than playing with your kids? Perhaps, perhaps not. Just remember, easy isn't the measure of good. Raising kids isn't easy, but it's what we are called to do. Of course, we may fall down along the way, but get back up and repent, rejoice, repeat.
If you've ever tried to break bad habits and build better ones, you've probably worked hard at consistency.
We want to be more consistent, but what if more consistency is not the secret sauce we actually need? What if it will never work?
Today's episode, on the podcast and on the YouTube channel, is all about choosing perseverance over consistency - and how and why it's more important and more applicable to our lives as mothers at home.
Consistency is about achieving sameness, but the reality is that life is never the same, so we aren't going to succeed at consistency. It is not the magic that we assume it will be.
Perseverance might not be glam or magic, but it does apply and it does work. We need perseverance because we have an end goal we're running toward, and no matter what, we need to keep running on until we reach that prize - glory, God's, not ours.
We all feel exhausted, but with the right perspective and attitude we can keep up the good work God has called us to because we have our trust and hope in him and not in our own accomplishments.
The end of the day is when we ought to be tired because we've been pursuing the good works God has set before us. When we're tired at the end of a long day at home, you know what we need? We need to go to bed. Astonishing, I know. Yet it seems to be common advice rarely taken - like so much good advice offered.
It's not wrong or bad or weak to need rest. It's silly to forego it for mere distraction.
Let's get into the habit of putting ourselves to bed at a reasonable hour.
We all often feel tired, even exhausted, at the end of the day. So we wonder - Are we doing something wrong? How do we find the strength to keep going, day after day, and not give in to despair or fatigue?
We can build up perseverance by practice, when we practice the right things in the right way.
We all feel exhausted, but with the right perspective and attitude we can keep up the good work God has called us to because we have our trust and hope in him and not in our own accomplishments.
We all feel exhausted, but with the right perspective and attitude we can keep up the good work God has called us to because we have our trust and hope in him and not in our own accomplishments.
If you relate, if you want to overcome your exhaustion with perseverance - know that it is easier to do that in company than alone. You are not alone in your desire to do well at home. At Simply Convivial Continuing Education we have direction, accountability, and community support for digging in deep to our own unique roles and responsibilities. We don't have pat answers or get organized quick schemes. We do have gospel-centered and principle-based help for you to take the next steps in building perseverance, consistency, and also joy in your life at home. Head on over to simplyconvivial.com and click the green enroll button to learn more and get the help and support you need.
And, also, always - Repent. Rejoice. Repeat.
Simply getting more done does not actually matter. We need to be doing the right things and focusing on what's important, not superficial results. We don't need to be fully functional machines, cranking out widgets; we need to be well-watered trees producing abundant harvests of mature fruit.
How we think about our lives and what's on our to-do list matters. This month, we're reorienting our thinking towards living fruitfully. Subscribe and stay tuned as we explore this topic and implement it in our lives.
If you feel like the work you do each day is meaningless or worthless or unfulfilling, that is a problem that needs to be addressed. If it's true, why do it? If it's not true, how can you change your mindset, your feelings, your perspective on the work God's given you? We can help. Inside Simply Convivial Continuing Education, we have courses, podcasts, live workshops, and a not-on-facebook community to help you figure out not only what needs to be done and why, but also how to do it with joy.
Enroll in Simply Convivial Continuing Education today to get the support and insight you need to find joy and satisfaction in your life at home.
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/membership
Maybe you start off homeschooling with grand visions and high hopes. Maybe you change your approach and your style and think that will fix the bad days and the bad attitudes.
It turns out that even in spite of best laid plans, principles, and practices, we’re teaching real children.
They don’t always like what they should. They don’t always want the true, good, and beautiful. Sometimes (oftentimes) they even complain.
What’s a homeschool mom to do?
Maybe you spot it in the sloppy work, or the sighs and slouching. Often the children are not reluctant to voice their opposition: They don’t like the book. They hate fractions. They don’t want to write an a that way.
And then you come upon those “inspiring” quotes at the end of a bad day:
The question is not, – how much does the youth know? when he has finished his education – but how much does he care? and about how many orders of things does he care? – Charlotte MasonAnd you know you’re in trouble, because your child is certain he doesn’t care, not one bit.
In fact, maybe just that morning he muttered or even exclaimed, “I hate nature walks!” True story. It happens.
Have I failed?
Is it time to give up?
No, not yet.
I haven’t failed. I just know what my task is now.
As both the mother and the teacher, it is our job to make our kids care.
Our job isn’t to help them pass tests or memorize facts or check boxes.
Our job is to make them care.
C.S. Lewis, Augustine, and Aristotle tell us it is so:
St. Augustine defines virtue as ordo amoris, the ordinate condition of the affections in which every object is accorded that kind and degree of love which is appropriate to it. Aristotle says that the aim of education is to make the pupil like and dislike what he ought.It’s our aim. It’s our job, not a byproduct we hope for, but what we’re trying to do.
And it’s oh so much harder than checking boxes, isn’t it?
IF you are obeying the One Whom you ought to obey, you will be happier, because you'll be doing what you were created to do.
You don't necessarily need to add more productive hours into your day. You need to add more true rest to your day if you want to manage your time better.
All the time I hear and see the question: How do you, as a busy homeschooling mom, make the time to read? Yes, they ask because they want to know how I fit in reading, but more broadly, they ask because they want to know how any mom even possibly can. It feels difficult, nigh impossible at times, and we can wonder if now is just the wrong season for trying to get any reading done at all.
Perhaps you've been told that as a mother, you need to write a vision statement for yourself and your family in order to succeed. In this video, Mystie Winckler discusses the efficacy of vision statements and their inherent flaws in providing purpose to a Christian mother. The fact is, you don't find your vision statement deep inside yourself, but through the Bible and Christ. So instead of looking to yourself to find answers and meaning, look to Christ and pray to find your true purpose; that is the only way to truly succeed as a mother, or even as a human being.
1. Have a creative hobby.
God is a maker, and we are little sub-makers. Being creative is human. Having a creative outlet helps us feel connected and whole. Knitting, baking, sewing, sketching, painting, gardening, writing, decorating: finding a way to make beauty is actually a very important outlet that we need.
The book Hidden Art of Homemaking by Edith Schaeffer develops this very well, giving plenty of ideas and examples. I also have a short interview with Jennifer Fulwiler of Conversion Diary about how and why to make time for creativity.
- Keep a regular prayer time.
“Prayer is the most important part of the thankfulness God requires of us,” teaches the Heidelberg Catechism. We need to stay in step with God through prayer, as He requires: “Pray without ceasing.” We make this optional and skip it to our own detriment. God’s peace surrounds us when we pray with thanksgiving, the Bible teaches. If we don’t have peace and we don’t pray about it, we shouldn’t be surprised by it.
- Lock the bathroom door.
Three minutes of solitude really isn’t too much to ask. Little fingers might still peak underneath the door and wails might still be audible, but a few minutes “cloistered” away is not unreasonable. In fact, it’s a good way to teach the children that moms are people, too, who require at least some dignity and respect.
- Dress respectfully.
Speaking of dignity and respect, I find it helps when I dress it. I have nothing against cute yoga pants, but there’s a world of difference between cute yoga pants and ratty old sweats. When I regularly dress sloppily, it doesn’t take long before I feel as crummy inside as I look outside. Taking a few minutes in the morning to do my hair, apply mascara, and put on clothes I wouldn’t be embarrassed to go out in not only lifts my own mood, but also teaches through my actions and appearance that home and motherhood are worth respecting and honoring.
My current summer favorite is a knee-length skirt with a yoga-pant waistband I found at Costco. It looks dressy and nice, but is cool and comfortable. With a blouse it’s fancy, and with a tee or tank it’s casual and breezy.
- Get up & have a morning routine before the kids are up.
I know, I know. It’s really hard. I don’t deny it. But, I don’t think you can deny that starting off the day with a little quiet and space makes for a better start and a smoother day than one where we hit the ground running.
I’ve learned that if I don’t get up before the kids, exercise and prayer time simply won’t happen, so I have to prioritize getting up in the morning if I want to prioritize my own health and sanity.
What small steps do you take that help you stay calm and maybe even cheerful through the day to day?
Are you always busy yet never getting to what seems must be done? Do you feel pulled in a million directions all the time? Inside Simply Convivial we clear away the clutter not only in our homes, but also in our hearts and on our to-do lists. By sorting through what's actually going on and what's actually needed, we each are able to figure out our own callings and how to dig in to those with cheerful goodwill.
Starting July 3, we'll begin our 4th Simplified Organization Community Coaching group. These groups work through all three of the Simplified Organization courses over the course of six months, figuring out their vocations and what to do about that, creating planning habits that work with real family life, and taking responsibility for their homes. With extra support, accountability, checklists, and video meet-ups, we walk together through all the pieces that make up our home duties. The kickoff workshop is July 3 and we'd love to have you join us. It's included in membership, but you have to join the small group before we get started on July 3 or wait until January for the next group. Go to SimplyConvivial.com and click Enroll to learn more.
Especially as stay-at-home moms it can be so hard to know how we're doing because we look at the standards and the definitions of success that come from the business world or the personal achievement world. We know those are not our worlds, yet we don't know where else to go for an understanding of how to get more done, how to better influence our people, and how to measure our successfulness.
Let's look at why we feel like failures and why we feel discouraged, and why that's all part of the package of actually being faithful in our roles as mothers at home.
There really is no such thing as time management. There’s only self-management. You don’t use your time better and end up with more. Usually it seems less time because of how we spent it, though there are things we can do to maximize what we get out of the time we have.
Time management is all about the decisions we make regarding our time, decisions for ourselves and not the time. Time is external from us. It is not something we can control, manipulate, or change.
When we’re talking about time management, what we’re actually needing to manage is ourselves. To maximize our time we must practice self-control and self-management. We must make better choices and decisions.
We all feel like there's too much to do, but with the right perspective and realistic expectations, we can use our situation for growth instead of discouragement because we know neither ourselves nor our situation is stagnant or permanent. Get help figuring this out in your own life with Simply Convivial Continuing Education: https://www.simplyconvivial.com/membership
How to menu plan 6 weeks at a time.
Take stock of what’s in your freezer already. I had a ham, some pork, and beef soup bones in addition to the chicken breasts and frozen meatballs I usually have.
Fill in any special days coming up: birthdays, eating out, friends over – if you already have plans on certain days, mark those.
Decide on some standard day-of-the-week dinners. We do chicken on Mondays. I can do chicken a lot of ways, but every Monday morning, I know I need to go grab some chicken out of the basement freezer. Wednesdays are crockpot days at our house. Assign a certain type of meal to some of the days of the week.
Fill in variations those assigned dinner types for the next six weeks. If you spread out your different options for chicken or crockpot dinners, you’ll not feel like you’re cooking and eating the same thing every week.
Start filling in other dinner options. Think about how much time or energy is usually left by the end of the day on certain days of the week. What days are you more likely to feel like cooking and what days are good for pulling out the frozen meatballs? I usually alternate weeks on some meals – Tuesday one week might be a tortilla meal and then rice the next. Planning in six weeks chunks helps make rotations like that simpler to plan.
Make sure you plan the vegetable and side if you need one as well as the main dish. See my post on Menu Planning: Think in Threes for more about planning a complete meal.
Each and every dinner will not happen as planned for the next six weeks, but the plan is in place so that I don’t have to think about it anymore. If I need a dinner plan, there’s one on my calendar. If I feel like getting creative, I can just move the dinner to another day or simply delete that day’s plan. But having the plan in place means I don’t have to panic at 4pm that I had forgotten to think about dinner.
And that’s why I did it.
Plan ALL the meals!
Mystie Winckler explains how she stays on top of cooking dinner every day without becoming overwhelmed. The secret? Take half an hour of your day to plan out ahead of time what this month's meals will be. After that, just create your master pantry list so that you don't get sidetracked shopping and you will have all the materials to cook delicious dinners every day.
Dinner happens every day (or at least I think it's supposed to). So what can we do to make that process easier, simpler, faster? Today, we're going to talk about a few techniques that will help you get dinner on the table with less effort and in less time.
We want the “making of dinner” to be easier, right? When we're looking for kitchen tips and shopping trips and menu planning ideas and meal planning strategy is really a lot of what it all comes down to is the goal of making dinner easier. And one of the reasons why we feel that need or desire to make dinner easier is that it feels like it's harder than it needs to be.
And I think that part of what's underneath that feeling of it being harder than we expect it or want it to be is that we think of dinner and just cooking the food and putting it on the table when there are really all these other pieces that have to happen before that can happen and we aren't taking into account the whole process and when we do take that it into account then it seems overwhelming. There are so many pieces and so many parts and they all relate and affect all the others and where do I even start and how do I even make all of this work together?
And that's why you get services that will just give you the recipes and the shopping list and plot It out by day and say this is what you're going to do (or even that show up on your doorstep with the groceries and the recipes and the meal plan) because it feels like magic or some crazy skill that we just can't figure out to get all of those pieces and parts to work together, but we don't need those kind of solutions when we simplify.
And if you choose a kind of subscription service you're simplifying because you're removing your decision-making from the process and that's simplifying and that's helpful because it's really decision-fatigue that wears us down if we have to decide what we're going to make for dinner, then look through the pantry and see what we have, and so decide what we have to buy, decide when to go to the grocery store, have that list, and get the right things, then decide to do what's on the plan—that’s a part of the decision-fatigue decision and it all becomes messy and involved and requiring a lot of initiative and mental energy from us and a lot of times we feel like that's not where my best energy and best work needs to be right now.
Like, I've got these other things spinning, does dinner really have to take this much? And the answer is that it does not. At least not long-term, maybe a little bit in order to set it up and get some habits and systems in place to simplify it so that moving forward and practicing it it doesn't have to take all that out of us.
Are you overwhelmed by the daunting task of cooking dinner for your family every single day? Learn how to plan & cook dinners without all the fuss by just taking stock of your pantry and making a list of favorite dishes.
Cook Dinner With Less Stress
It's easy to slip into feeling like dinner is a drag, like it's an interruption, like it's something we just really rather not do. But since we do need to serve dinner everyday, why not learn how to enjoy cooking more? It truly is possible!
Of course, there are times where it just doesn't happen or it doesn't work out or we don't have the time, and so we have plan B meals. We have takeout—there’s pizza (whatever) sometimes that happens. But as a general rule if we are walking into the kitchen and feeling downcast and downtrodden because we have to fix another meal it’s really not the kitchen work that has to change or a new plan we have to make unless that plan is about our attitude.
Today I have three tips to help us learn how to enjoy cooking more:
- Plan and reserve enough time to make dinner without rushing.
- Intentionally cultivate and practice cooking skills.
- Understand that cooking is relational and meaningful.
We need a plan to fix our attitude, not a plan for fixing dinner. We've got to fix dinner. We have to fix our attitude first and even while we fix dinner. And when we can repent of our bad attitudes about our responsibility to feed our people we will find not just that we dread making dinner less, or we are resent the obligation on our day, or the mess in our kitchen that dinner makes, instead of looking at all those things as impositions on us, we can take it in stride as a part of our responsibility and duty and not just do it out of drudgery, but actually enjoy it.
I had a dream. And in this dream my pantry always had everything I needed. I never ran out of ingredients to make dinner. I would go to the pantry, pull out what I needed to make dinner that day and it’d be there—no surprises. I had achieved well-stocked pantry perfection.
But it turns out that making this dream a reality was much harder than I thought it would be. Still, it’s worth the effort to keep a well-stocked pantry. So, let’s talk about how to do just that.
So, you go to make spaghetti and there’s no tomato sauce. You go to make soup and there’s no chicken broth. You think you’ll make tuna noodle casserole and then there’s no tuna or no noodles, or neither. This is frustrating. And it illustrates one of the troubles of menu planning.
Menu planning isn’t just coming up with ideas of what’s for dinner. It’s managing this whole magic of having the idea of what’s for dinner, having the ingredients for that dinner on hand, starting dinner at the right time, on the right day, and of course, keeping it all frugal and within budget. There’s a lot that goes into keeping a menu plan. It takes practice. And with practice comes skill. But we need to practice—not just making a list and following that list, the menu planning proper—we also have to manage that pantry ingredient, grocery shopping side of things that makes the meal planning possible.
It’s really this whole separate piece that if we aren’t aware of it, managing it, keeping track of it, then that menu plan that we’ve worked on doesn’t work. And we’re thrown back to plan B, or takeout, or frozen fish sticks (if those are in the freezer).
So, what does it take to keep a well-stocked pantry? What is in a well-stocked pantry? What should be in your pantry? What should be in my pantry? How do we know that? And then, how do we keep our pantry well-stocked while feeding people three times a day?
There are four important steps to keeping and using a well-stocked pantry.
- Know what your family actually eats and keep a master list of those items you actually use.
- Determine how much your family consumes of each pantry staple in a week or month.
- Check your pantry stock before grocery shopping – every time.
- Keep what’s in your pantry rotated so you use the oldest items first.
The Pantry Stock Problem
I know when I was newly married and stocking our pantry for the first time I felt at a loss. There’s so much food at the grocery store. There are so many options. How do I even know what to buy?
Sometimes we solve that conundrum by making a menu plan first and then buying the food that we need for those meals that we’ve planned for and that works. But it actually takes a lot longer to make that menu plan, to grocery shop for that menu plan, to follow the recipes, and to just make it all work.
We can cut down on the time and energy that it takes to make our meals if we become pantry cooks. If we keep a regular stock on hand and then base our meals off of those things that we just always keep on hand. It’s actually in limiting our choices that things take less effort, energy, attention, time. Not only that, but when we function within limits, our creativity is called into play. It’s needed. And so choosing dinners based out of a pantry system is not only more efficient, it’s also more creative.
But the question still comes down to what is in the pantry? And it’s certainly something that takes experience to build up, experimentation to figure out, and iteration and flexibility in continuing it. One of the things that I tried to do the first time I was stocking a pantry was look up that Martha Stewart list of what belongs in your pantry. I didn’t know what should be in our pantry but I figured someone else knows what I should buy, and so I took Martha Stewart’s list and stocked our pantry with the things she said that we should have.
And you know what? A lot of that I didn’t really use. I had to be creative and use what I purchased, but I quickly realized that a lot of what Martha Stewart considered pantry basics I did not and I was not going to use and I was not going to restock.
We all need to go through that process of figuring out what belongs in our own well-stocked pantry. There is no single definition, single master pantry list that we can all use as a standard, and as long as we follow this list then we have a well-stocked pantry. No, a well-stocked pantry simply means that our pantry has on hand multiples of the items that we consistently use in our cooking.
There’s going to be a lot of overlap from what’s in your pantry and what’s in my pantry, but the identical lists, the master lists made by some expert, or my list used by you, or your listed used by me, is not going to work.
We each need to go through that process of figuring out what we actually use regularly and keeping those things on hand A well-stocked pantry is not a full pantry. A well-stocked pantry is a pantry that has plenty of what you actually use. If your pantry is full of items that you don’t use, that you aren’t sure why you bought, that you aren’t sure what they’re going to go into, maybe you bought multiple something because it was on sale, or because this one recipe that you made for a special occasion called for it, so you bought several, now you don’t know what else to do with it.
A pantry full of items that we aren’t sure about, that we aren’t used to using, that we are likely not going to use, is not a well-stocked pantry, even if it’s stocked. It’s not well-stocked. So we can brainstorm the typical, usual dinners that our family likes to eat, the lunches, the breakfasts, the snacks—all the food.
What are the usual things that we make? And a lot of times there’s overlap and common ingredients. We need flour. We need eggs. There’s going to be a lot of similarities in the basics of anyone’s master list, but they’re going to vary for sure. Not only that but the amount of those basics that you need is something you have to figure out for your family, that I have to figure out for my family, and that can definitely change as our families grow in number and grow in size and change in eating habits.
Those master amounts that we figure out, that work for us, overtime end up not working. A well-stocked pantry master list is not a once-and-done project. And this is another thing that threw me off for sure. I did this early on, made the master list—these are the items that I’m going to keep on hand in my pantry. I never want to run out of these. I want to always have them on hand and all of the dinners that I make are going to rely on these ingredients only, so that I know I can go to my dinner rotation list and pick any one of them and I’ll have the ingredients on hand because these are just the things that I buy.
We need to stop striving for having ducks in a row and admit that ducklings actually waddle where they will, leaving sloppy footprints as they go. We need to stop believing the marketers who tell us we're only 5 containers and 1 label maker away from achieving the state of organization.
An index card organization system predates blogs and word processors. It’s a thing, and it works because it uses a simple principle.
Back in our first year or two of marriage, a good friend and I talked at least weekly about all things homemaking. We were figuring out our new role, and we wanted to do well in it.
So, of course, we read the books.
One of the books was straight off my mom’s shelf: Sidetracked Home Executives.
I could relate to these ladies. They had ideas, they had things they wanted to do, and both the housework and the state of the house (because the work wasn’t being done) was getting in their way.
They came up with a creative solution to break up the housework into manageable chunks and make sure they did it regularly without expecting themselves to recognize that it needed to be done or deciding each day what needed to be done.
Yes, that’s right. They came up with a housework routine. Now, that alone is not creative or unusual, although there are points at which they seem to think it’s revolutionary.
When you suffer from decision fatigue and a tendency toward procrastination or distract ability, however, a routine certainly can be revolutionary.
What was creative in their approach was how they tracked their routine. It was an index card organization system.
Pam Young and Peggy Jones were organizing their chores with index cards before homeschoolers were doing it with their memory work.
In a day with apps and pretty planners galore, is an index card organization system out of date or still useful? Could this book so clearly from the ’80s still be relevant?
If you want to accomplish your housework regularly without having the excuse to check your phone, you might consider their index card organization system.
However, whether you use index cards, a list, an app, or any other implementation, you certainly can and should use the principle behind this method: Loop scheduling.
The index card organization system developed and popularized by Sidetracked Home Executives is, at heart, a loop schedule for housework, just like Sarah Mackenzie’s housework routine – only Sarah uses a plain list instead of a box of index cards.
Indeed, index cards can be rather fiddly. They can easily get mixed up, lost, or ruined. However, there are also advantages to running a loop schedule housework routine on index cards:
1) You can decorate the cards.
2) You can take notes on the cards.
3) You can easily reassign the cards.
4) You can easily delegate the cards.
The index cards are not really the point, though, nor what makes the system work.
What makes an index card organization system work is that it relies on three strategies:
1) It eliminates decision fatigue.
2) It holds the information you need and makes it easy to find and grab.
3) It keeps track of what’s next for you.
You can accomplish the same outcome with an app like Home Routines or even ToDoist, you can get the same benefits by keeping the same information in checklist form, and you can simply add your recurring chores onto your weekly dashboard.
But what won’t give you this same peace of mind and effectiveness is simply printing someone else’s master cleaning list. We are tempted to shortcut the decision making process not by writing down and figuring out (through trial and error) what will work for us, but by finding someone who will tell us what to do.
Even this index card organization system will do that if you buy the book. They’ll tell you which chores to write on cards and what frequency to arrange them in.
We search for the “ready to go” plan not because we want to avoid decision fatigue, but because we think that our past inconsistency and failure disqualifies us from making our own workable plan.
If this other lady – whether in a book, real life, or on the internet – has a plan that works for her, then I know it works, right? If it works, I don’t have to take responsibility. I can just adopt her plan and get her results – right? I haven’t removed decision fatigue at that point; I have removed personal engagement with the problem.
Unfortunately, too often we don’t want to go through the process of getting organized, changing both our mindset and our methods, we just want a quick fix solution.
Most likely, someone else’s plan will not work for you in a cut-and-paste sort of a way. It might be a great shortcut to developing your own workable system – even one with index cards – but you will have to mix with brains and practice before it actually works for you.
Ready to make a housekeeping routine, a housework loop schedule, or even an index card organization system that works for you?
The daily card is a term that we use from Work the Plan for your daily to do list. So, you might have a planner and the question is whether or not you use the planner correctly; if we actually use what’s written in the planner to direct our days? And the daily card can be just a card, just a post-it, an index card, or it can be a section in the planner. But the point of it is to keep a very truncated, limited, small set of tasks for that day alone.
So, you make a list of the top priorities for that day. And you re-do that every day. You might make it the night before, or you might make it the morning of, but you’re not making a daily card for every day of the week during your Weekly Review. Every day you’re renewing your task list and adjusting because sometimes the needs and the priorities of where our attention needs to go for the day do really adjust on a day-by-day basis, and I think now more than ever, we recognize that.
How do you decide what your daily three are? Can it be in all different kinds of formats? Are the tasks typically habitual things? How do you keep wishful thinking off the daily card? People often say, “Mine turn into a daily brain dump so I struggle with knowing which three.”
Knowing what to put on the card—that is the hardest part for everybody. And so, what we have to remember is the reason why we do a daily card every single day is for the practice so that we keep iterating, we keep learning, we learn from the previous day, and implement that the next day.
So, the more and more we practice, the better and better we get at knowing what needs to go on the list. If you’ve made a daily card before and you find at the end of the day that really what you put on your list was wishful thinking and not what actually was important to do today that’s something to think about. That’s what you adjust moving forward. And what I found when I recognized that as well, was that I make a better daily list when I do it the night before rather than the morning of (and that’s not a universal thing.) It really depends on person to person. But, for myself, when I stop at the end of the day and I look at the list that I made for that day and see what did and didn’t happen, I make a more realistic plan for the next day when I’m tired and wishing I had accomplished what was on my list. And also recognizing the wishful thinking or how things changed that day that made the priority shift. Or recognizing, ‘Okay, I put that on my list and I didn’t do it, I’m procrastinating that. It needs to keep going on the list and I’m going to put it on there.’
In the morning, I feel more like, ‘Oh, fresh start, everything’s possible!’ I tend to be more energetic and optimistic in the morning and my to do list will reflect that. So, I make a more realistic to do list if I do it the night before. Your mileage may vary, but the point really, is to try it out. Try different times, try different formats, try different ways to write out your list, and learn.
So, think of each daily list as an experiment and you can apply what you’ve learned to the next day’s card.
At Simply Convivial we do not believe in one-size-fits-all solutions, plans, or check lists. I’m all about teaching you the principles and the skills that you need to figure out what’s going to work for you in your particular situation with your particular needs. If that’s what you need then make sure to subscribe and check out some of my other videos, including my series on Getting Your Life Organized in One Week. Check those out here.
Always remember that your attitude is the most important part of your organization project. So, repent, rejoice, repeat. See you next time.
We all know the feeling. There’s just too much to do. Do you ever feel like the more you have to do the less you actually get done? That’s a real thing. There’s a reason for that. And it’s decision fatigue. The first step that you have to do to prevent decision fatigue and then to get started is decide what to actually do next. It seems simple but it can be hard. The more options there are, the more that’s rattling around in your head, the more thought and energy it takes to come to a conclusion and just get started.
Let me show you how to streamline the decision-making process so you can do what needs to be done no matter how long or short your to do list is. Let’s dig in.
So, let’s figure out how to make our to do lists short and simple, so we can actually get them done each day.
Step one is that you actually need two to do lists.
One is your master list. A running list of all the things that need to happen; big or small, routine or not. Everything that needs to happen needs to be written down and kept. But that’s not your to do list that you actually work from day to day. Think of it like the safe-keeping place so that you’re not keeping track of everything in your head—you’re keeping things safe and written down where you can refer to it as needed, jog your memory, where you’re not afraid you’re going to lose something or forget something.
Then, you need the actionable daily to do list. You can choose from that master list what goes on today’s list, but the list that you’re making for today is short. It’s prioritized. It’s a list of what’s most important today. Sometimes that’s going to be something that’s not even on your master list. Days are like that. Keeping a daily to do list allows you that flexibility you need to adjust to real life as it unrolls.
Your daily to do list then is a prioritized list. It is not even all the things that you will do. It is your top three things for the day, the three things that, if you do those it’s going to be better tomorrow. The three things that are going to make a difference. It’s easy to get distracted of the little things that pile up but then we end up never getting to those important things that aren’t necessarily urgent.
This short daily to do list is where we make sure that we do not lose sight of what’s important in our days. Now, we need to keep this to do list short because we don’t have unlimited time, we don’t have unlimited energy either. So, we have to choose. We have to make tough choices and then we need to write them down so that we can stick with those choices.
And we make this list every day because every day our time is a little bit different—the time we have available, the kind of energy that we have available—and so we can look at what we actually have by looking at our calendar, looking at our commitments, and we can choose what’s most important.
Sometimes, appointments might take up all day and so we don’t want to write a list that assumes we’ll be able to get a lot of home projects done. Or maybe even any of our routines done. Our daily to do list is made in light of the reality of today.
It takes practice and experience to know how to pick a viable, realistic top three. It’s not something that anyone can tell you what you should pick. It’s something that you have to think about, figure out, try, experiment, iterate, and continually learn from your own experience by evaluating how it went, making observations, and moving forward in light of what you learn. In this way, with this daily practice of learning how we work, learning what our real responsibilities are, recognizing what we tend to procrastinate on, and seeing what’s really important.
In this practice, over time, we make better and better choices. And, because those are self-determined choices that we know are realistic and necessary, we also grow in our self-motivation and momentum and follow through in actually doing them. And that’s really what we’re after.
So, you need to identify your priorities. That’s hard to do but you’ll get better at it with practice. So, practice every day and write three to do’s down on a daily index card.
You will, of course, do more in a day than the three things written down on your index card, but if you start with what’s most important, you’ll feel better about how you’ve used your time and you’ll probably even get more done in the long run because you’re focused and clear. You’ll see you’re spending your time well.
We tend to waste more time in distraction and indecision when we aren’t working from a clear list. So, give it a shot. Try it out. And let me know in the comments below how it’s working for you.
At Simply Convivial we do not believe in one-size-fits all plans. I’m all about teaching you the principles and the skills that you need to figure out what’s going to work for you in your particular situation with your particular needs.
Always remember that your attitude is the most important part of your organization project. So, repent, rejoice, repeat.
Have you ever been frustrated trying to use a planner? Have you ever worried that you spend more time writing in your planner and decorating your planner than actually doing what that pretty plan tells you to do? Let me share my quick planner hack that streamlines the process and keeps me focused on the most important things to do each day. Let’s dig in.
I know, planners are pretty. They’re fun. But a lot of the ones that we can buy pre-printed, packaged, ready to go are actually over kill. They contain sections and questions and areas that maybe (maybe!) work for the person who designed it and implemented it, and maybe they work for some people, but just because a tactic or a format works for one person does not mean that it’s the thing that will work for anyone and everyone.
Instead of searching for and continually trying for that planner that will magically, suddenly make us into planners—not just make a plan but then do the plan—we need to find planning strategies that are simple, streamlined, and personalized. And that’s the planner hack I have for you today.
Try to figure out what you need to make a consistent daily plan that actually works. We have to think about what the point of it all really is. Why have a planner in the first place? Why write things down? And you’ve probably thought about that already, maybe in the spirit of ‘Do I have to?’ or ‘What’s the point because I seem to just be wasting my time?’ And the reality is that a lot of planning is wasting time, but that’s because of the kind of plan that we make and not that all planning is always a waste of time.
When we make plans that are based on wishful thinking that’s a waste of time. We need to plan for right now, our current reality, our current responsibilities, and then our plan will be effective. I think that a good question we can ask is, what’s the least amount of effort that I have to do to create an effective plan, a plan that I will use and follow through on? And my answer to that question is all you need is a post-it note!
Using a post-it note to make our daily plans helps us remember that not only our time, but even our energy and our attention, our abilities, are limited. We can’t do everything that we might be keeping on some other to do list. We have to pick the things that are most important. And then we write down the things that are most important on a small piece of paper that we can keep in front of our face. Then we are more likely to follow through on tasks because they’re not vague, nebulous “I coulda, shoulda, some day do this thing.” We have specified and written down and thought about what it is we actually have to do.
So, on your post-it note every day, at the beginning of the day or maybe at the end of the day (the day before) write down your top three things. That’s a hard thing to do. It’s a skill that we have to practice. And we will get better and better the more we practice it at choosing what those top three things really are.
But the exercise of having to choose, having to narrow it down and pick three, is all a part of what makes it actually work because the best planning is mostly a thinking exercise. It’s not that in writing something down it’s more likely to happen. In reality, it is having thought about it and putting our priorities and what we need to be paying attention to top-of-mind and visible in front of our faces that makes it actually able to happen.
Our minds are for thinking and we need to give ourselves the time and the prompts to actually think about what’s most important just today. And the daily card (or post-it note) is an exercise that helps us do just that. Because we are limited—we’re limited in time, we’re limited in resources, we’re limited in energy—our to do list also needs to be limited.
And the tiny size of a post-it note is a visible reminder of that. Writing what needs to happen out by hand every day helps us focus on our priorities. It allows us to adjust the plan as needed as life unfolds. And it puts our responsibilities right in front of our face. The great thing about a post-it note is that it’s sticky. I can put this on the top of the computer monitor. I can put this on the front cover of my planner so that it’s right there. I can put it on the back of my phone and have it right with me in my pocket.
A post-it note is super flexible and can help us keep our priorities visible. And that’s really key because a planner (no matter what kind of planner) will not work unless you look at it!
So, I challenge you to try out this quick, simple, cheap option for your own daily to do list. Try it for at least a week. Give it a fair shot. Practice and see what happens.
Over at Simply Convivial I’ve put together a Daily Card Quick Start Guide that will help you get going with this small, simple habit. It will teach you how to make and use this card (or post-it note) every day and give you a checklist so that you can hold yourself accountable to actually trying this out for yourself. And, where you can always write down your observations about what you learn about this method (and also yourself) so that you can figure out a plan that works for you. Visit SimplyConvivial.com to find that today.
At Simply Convivial we do not believe in one-size-fits-all solutions, plans, or checklists. I’m all about teaching you the principles and the skills that you need to figure out what’s going to work for you in your particular situation with your particular needs. If that’s what you need then make sure to subscribe and check out some of my other videos. But always remember, that your attitude is the most important part of your organization project. So, repent, rejoice, repeat.
Transformation Tuesday is our answer to the complicated, overbearing cleaning and organizing checklists out there.
You don’t need to clean by someone else’s schedule.
Instead, see what needs to be done in your own home, and spend 10 minutes improving the order and organization there.
Transformation Tuesday is one of my little homemaking mottos that helps me tackle housecleaning in small bites and tame my attitude at the same time. Cleaning and decluttering should just be a small piece of your weekly cleaning routine.
When we wonder how to organize our life, we usually think about containers, labels, and homes that magically stay clean without further effort. But someone who is organized is someone willing to continue taking the effort of homekeeping, to maintain the work consistently.
Transformation Tuesday is a catchy reminder to spend 10 minutes once a week cleaning or reorganizing a small area that will positively affect at least your peace of mind and maybe even your personal productivity.
No one can tell you what that area ought to be. Each week you pick the thing that’s bothering you, that’s holding you up, that’s the biggest (small) problem area. Each week you take just ten minutes and make an improvement in order and tidiness in that small spot.
This accomplishes more than just the small amount of order. It also, gradually, changes our perspective and attitude about organization itself.
When organizing an area is no longer a huge, overwhelming, whole-closet or whole-house project, but just a ten minute focus, we overcome our mental and emotional hurdles to becoming more organized.
We aren’t going for night and day or for whole-new-self change. We’re just going for 10 minutes of better. We succeed at that. We appreciate the difference it made. We are less devastated when the work is inevitably undone by normal, everyday entropy. After all, it was only ten minutes. We can do that again.
And when you do, take a before and after picture! Share on Instagram with the #simplyconvivial hashtag and tag me. We’re forming an open, honest, real-life community of homemakers who spur one another on to cheerful attitudes and good work at home.
I wanted to talk about decluttering as a habit because there’s this rumor floating out there on decluttering (from experts and gurus) who say that “decluttering can be done once and for all.” That it’s a project you finish and check off and be done with (which is really what we all want to hear, isn’t it?).
We really want it to be something that we can achieve: “Achievement unlocked! We are now decluttered and forever and all time, moving forward. Now we have the right habits, the right house, the right organization. We won’t have to do that again!” That’s just not the way it really is in real life. Not our kind of real life anyway. Not family life. Not home life where you have a lot of people in one house actually living a full life—which means a lot of stuff—and there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that.
I think there’s a lot of hope and happiness pinned even on minimalism (on eliminating as much as stuff as possible) as if I manage to do [that], get [that achievement unlocked] then I will be happy. Then I will be a good housekeeper. Then I will love my house. Then my family won’t drive me crazy. Then the lights shine brightly and angels sing, “la” and we have achieved our housekeeping, homemaking goal! Decluttered once and for all, now we can move forward and do this thing right.
And that appeals to our desire to achieve our ambition. It appeals to just wanting to be done. To figure things out and do things right. But the reality is that stuff comes into our house still and it’s just something we have to keep up with. It’s just one more thing—like dishes and the laundry and meals—that has to be continually addressed. We should declutter in order to use our space wisely, but our life changes, our needs change, sometimes our house situation changes, the ages of our children and their stages change, and we need to adjust. We will continually go through that process of figuring out, “Well, I saved this because I thought I would need it.
These are just questions in wisdom and stewardship that we need to be continually asking and assessing and working through because life and our situations change and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not because we’re doing it wrong, it’s not because if we had this thing figured out we wouldn’t have to anymore.
When the stuff is used as the measure stick it’s just wrong. It’s not going to work. It’s not true. It’s not accurate. And it focuses us on the wrong things. So, the stuff is just stuff that we do have to manage and steward. There isn’t a universal one-size fits all plan for how much stuff you ought to have, what you ought to keep, what you ought to get rid of.
So, decluttering will be put in its proper place if we think of it as a habit and not as the holy grail, the step that we need to complete in order to take the next steps of perfect homemaking.
And so, if instead of thinking of it as a project that we’re going to finish, we think of it as a habit we’re going to build, it breaks it down, we take smaller steps, we work it into our routines and our awareness in the smaller chunks of time and energy, and in the end we actually make more progress because we’re continually applying ourselves to it, we aren’t frustrated because it’s not complete yet because we’re not expecting it to be complete, and we aren’t waiting to make other steps and other changes until it’s over and complete.
So, we talk a lot about needing to declutter, but part of what holds us back from just diving in and making some progress in decluttering is that even though we say that we are doing this project we don’t really understand how to do it. We don’t understand what the project really is, what it entails, what we set out to accomplish. It remains this, kind of, vague, nebulous project that we can’t define. And that means we can’t see progress made. And when we don’t know what we’re going to do next, we end up not doing anything at all. So, in order to declutter our homes, we need to understand the process of decluttering and it’s really very simple. It’s a little bit scary, but what you need to remember is to start with an amount of space that you can actually tackle in the amount of time that you have. What I like to do is choose a spot that I can actually declutter in 10 minutes or less, because even when I think I have half an hour I often don’t. But 10 minutes I can probably manage that, or at least, if some interruption comes a 10 minute declutter session is easier to come back to and finish up, whereas longer projects not so much.
The first step of decluttering is actually removing everything from the space—that’s scary, that’s a big deal, I know, but it’s really the most effective, efficient way to declutter. But that’s why it’s so important to start with a very small space. So, a single drawer (or even a section of a drawer), a single shelf in a closet (and not the whole closet), one container at a time decluttering; not entire rooms or even entire closets—a small space. Empty it out entirely onto a table, or some other space—just move it out.
Then the next thing I like to do is to just throw away the garbage that came out in that process. Ideally, it doesn’t even make it onto the table (or whatever other space I’m emptying things out on), but as I’m pulling it out it just goes into the trash. And still, if there is some junk on the counter (or wherever this pile has ended up), I go through and throw away the trash because that’s the fastest, easiest, most obvious step to take first. And the more visible progress you can make quickly the more momentum that you get. You’re seeing that success and you’re seeing progress right away and that helps you keep the momentum and the energy moving forward to get the job done.
So, we don’t start with the hardest part (although emptying the entire space might have been hard, mentally or emotionally) but then we do something easy—we just throw away the garbage. And, it’s amazing sometimes how much difference that makes right there.
Next, we’re looking at all this stuff that’s out to see. Now, none of it’s where it belongs because none of it belongs on the bed or the counter or the table or wherever we’ve put it, and we see things that belong somewhere else. So they have homes, we know what they are, we know where they belong and it’s not here and it’s not in that drawer that we just emptied. So, we go put those things away. This is where distraction is tempting. This is where we might get an idea, see something else that needs to be done, get interrupted by a child, or something, so we have to be very careful and try to do this very quickly.
So, what even is decluttering and why is it something that we keep trying to do and keep feeling like we never make any progress doing? Yeah, that’s right—you are not the only one. Decluttering is getting rid of clutter. So, before we can understand declutter, we have to think about what clutter really is. Sometimes we just use it as a generic insult to stuff we don’t necessarily want or want to deal with. But clutter is referring to those things that are not where they belong, or they are some place where they don’t belong. And so, when we’re looking in a closet, in a cupboard, in a drawer, in a whole room, and we say, “It’s cluttered,” what we mean is that it’s full of stuff that does not belong there.
So, the process of decluttering, then, means going through the space and removing what does not belong. Organizing the space then is putting the things away well, strategically, smartly, in the place they do belong. But decluttering comes before organizing. And you really can’t organize a space that has not been decluttered because if the space has stuff that doesn’t belong there, it can’t be organized there. It needs to be removed so that the things that do belong can then be ordered and tidied well; so, decluttering means getting rid of the things that do not belong.
We keep coming back to this project of decluttering because it’s a part of the process of actually stewarding or managing our resources well. Things tend toward disorder, things fall apart, new things come in, and the way that we use a space or the way that we need to use a space changes. So, the fact that you need to declutter doesn’t even mean necessarily that something is wrong, or you’ve failed in some way, it just means that the task before you is clear—declutter the space.
Of course, when we look around our home there are so many spaces that need to be decluttered (I mean, we are not even going to talk about kid bedrooms)! But we just need to be satisfied taking small steps forward, making a little bit of progress in a small amount of space; steadily, strategically, and consistently. And that’s what we’re going to do in this series where we are focusing on decluttering. We aren’t just going to talk about decluttering and we aren’t only going to pep talk decluttering (although we are going to do that as well), we are going to find ways to build decluttering as a habit in our life because our spaces are always going to need decluttering.
Things are always going to wind up where they don’t belong because that’s just the way family life works. Not to mention the way that we need to use the space changes—something did belong in a particular spot at one point but no longer does because that’s now not the point of the space.
Today’s episode is an audio blog for one of my favorite posts: Life is like laundry. If you pop on over to the article on the blog, you’ll also find a follow-up 45-minute workshop on this topic. If you have some extra laundry to tackle and you need a pick me up to accompany the marathon folding session, it’ll be just the ticket to keep you company and keep your spirits lifted.
So, let’s dig in.
I think our attitude is the missing link in our attempts at getting organized. So I’m excited to announce my new free download: an attitude adjustment audit.
What is an attitude? Every passing feeling is not an attitude. The dictionary says that an attitude is “a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflected in a person's behavior.”
However, passing feelings can become our attitudes if we nurture them and keep them around. That’s why it’s important to reject false feelings and cultivate those based on truth and love.
Our actions are produced from our thoughts and feelings: our heart. Self-control - a fruit of the Spirit - includes controlling our thoughts & feelings as well as our actions.
Yes, you can actually change your attitude by deliberately and intentionally changing your thoughts – that’s something we have a responsibility to do. When what we feel or think does not align with God’s revealed will for our lives (which is gratitude), the only obedient option we have is to repent, to change them with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Our inner lives and our outer lives are not two disparate and unrelated things. One affects the other. Outer chaos creates stress and confusion. Inner chaos works itself out in how we live our lives. Fixing either kind of disorder is the project of a lifetime, not the project of a day, of a weekend, or of a month. Organizing our attitudes is something we must continually be doing.
An organized attitude isn't faking a smile.
It’s constantly reminding ourselves of truth and not panicking when we notice we sin, and also not ignoring it, but rather repenting of it, receiving forgiveness, and gratefully pressing on to do what we called to do.
To organize your attitude is to bring your thoughts into alignment with God’s Word, every day, every situation, every time.
This episode is an excerpt from a recent mentoring session that I host weekly inside Simply Convivial Continuing Education. Our topic was mindset habits and how even our thoughts and responses can be habitual - both good and bad. So what we know about habits breaking and habit building applies even to our mindset, even to our attitude.
We need to break out of bad attitude ruts and form some new and intentional ruts in our brains.
Weeks have passed since the holidays which were a fun break but also exhausting and a lot of work. Then we jump into January with all the energy and good intentions we can muster. It’s no wonder February finds us dull and feeling doomed. February is the time we need to be deliberate with our thoughts, because it’s easy to have them spiral down into lethargy if not worse. So this month we’re focusing on mindset. Think of it like your mega dose of vitamin C and B12. Remind yourself of truth, reject thoughts that are false, and practice turning to gratitude as your habitual response.
The podcast this month will be all about how to do just that.
So let’s dig in.
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January’s podcasts are all about self-care: what it is and what it isn’t. In the medical world, self-care refers to those tasks a caregiver must do for someone, whether it’s a caregiver to an injured or ill adult or a mother to an infant. But when the internet tells you that you need self-care, they basically mean you need to spend some time being self-centered and self-indulgent.
What will help us face our real life home duties is a measure of self-control and faithfulness, and organization helps us grow in both. If you think you need some self-care today, maybe what you really need is some organization.
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Guess what? Self-centeredness and self-indulgence is never going to make you feel better in the long term, nor will it prepare you for reentering your real life with joy.
You don’t need to treat yourself or indulge in luxuries to be happy with your life. Let’s get a grip and a game face on and find not only contentment but also joy in our real life home duties.
What will help us face our real life home duties is a measure of self-control and faithfulness, and organization helps us grow in both. If you think you need some self-care today, maybe what you really need is some organization.
Today's episode is an audio blog, written and read by Abby Wahl.
In the medical world, self-care refers to those tasks a caregiver must do for someone, whether it’s a caregiver to an injured or ill adult or a mother to an infant. But when the internet tells you that you need self-care, they’re not talking about using the bathroom and brushing your teeth and putting your own spoon to your mouth. In fact, a CNN article about trends for 2020 outright said that self-care on social media means luxuriating.
You don’t need to treat yourself or indulge in luxuries to be happy with your life. Let’s get a grip and a game face on and find not only contentment but also joy in our real life home duties.
You don’t need to get away from your life to renew your wellbeing. More than self-care, you need self-control. I need self-control. Getting organized is actually about self-control, and it’s more revitalizing than any kind of so-called self-care.
It is true that our selves do need care. We are not invincible. We are not infinite. We are not indefatigable. However, more than our bodies need care because we are more than our bodies.
When you feel the need for rest and renewal, remember that both come not by indulgence or through merely physical means. When we forget that we are souls, spiritual beings in need of spiritual things, we go looking in all the wrong places for the restoration we know we need.
January’s podcasts are all about what is popularly called self-care. Now, self-care used to mean your ability to do basic things like brush your teeth and use the bathroom by yourself. But when the internet tells you that you need self-care, that’s not usually what they mean. In fact, a CNN article about trends for 2020 outright said that self-care on social media means pampering yourself.
You don’t need to treat yourself or indulge in luxuries to be happy with your life. Let’s get a grip and a game face on and find not only contentment but also joy in our real life home duties.
The care and restoration you do need might not be what you think it is. It might not be the easy, fun, self-indulgence you were hoping for.
Today’s episode is all about how the self-care you actually need is spiritual, not material.
Moms are told all over social media and advertisements that we need more self-care. It's true that we become easily wearied, easily overwhelmed, easily frustrated - and a break sounds too good to be true. Self-care for stay at home moms seems like a reasonable solution.
But the break we actually need to overcome the weariness, the overwhelm, the frustration might be different from a day out or a day off.
If a day out or a day off is not happening anytime soon for you, don't worry. That's probably not what you actually need to find relief and satisfaction in your life.
January’s podcasts are all about so-called self-care. Now, self-care in medical terms refers to your ability to do basic things like brush your teeth and use the bathroom by yourself. But when the internet tells you that you need self-care, that’s not usually what they mean. In fact, a CNN article about trends for 2020 outright said that self-care on social media means luxuriating.
You don’t need to treat yourself or indulge in luxuries to be happy with your life. Let’s get a grip and a game face on and find not only contentment but also joy in our real life home duties. Stay turned this month on the podcast for more on getting real with self-care.
Homemaking is not about personal style. It's about making a home where people want to be and where people can learn and grow. This replay of the Making Home workshop will remind you of the true calling of homemaker.
Homemaking has fallen on hard times for the last hundred or more years. Though it’s been devalued by our culture, it’s not lost any value in reality to the family. Homemakers don’t need to be full-time to be vital to their families and, yes, to the whole world and society at large.
Homemaking is not about achieving a certain look or state in the home. Homemaking is a process, a service, of love through hospitality to those who live in and enter into our home.
Let’s take a deeper look at what homemaking really is, with this excerpt from a member-only mentoring session. Every week inside Simply Convivial Continuing Education, I share about a topic relevant to our lives and work as homemakers so that we can stay motivated, inspired, and on track, learning and growing and spurred on to more love and good works. I’m excited to share this little peek into our community today.
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When we think of homemaking, we usually think of housework, but even the dictionary tells us that homemaking is about creating and managing homes as a pleasant place to live. A pleasant place to live - not merely a clean or organized place to live - is the goal of homemaking.
Today’s episode is a blog post titled Becoming a Better Homemaker. In it, we will look at three areas we as homemakers need to manage - not so that they are easy and effortless, but so that our homes are pleasant places to be. Whether it’s meals, chores, or hospitality, our focus needs to be on the goal if we’re going to end the day satisfied. And, yes, ending the day satisfied, IS possible.
When we think of homemaking basics or homemaking hacks, we should not let HGTV or Pinterest or Martha Stewart be the standard or the ideal. Homemaking is not about achieving a certain look or state in the home. Homemaking is a process, a service, of love through hospitality to those who live in and enter into our home. In this episode I’m chatting with Virginia Lee Rogers, my customer support manager and fellow NTJ personality type about unconventional homemaking hacks.
Biblical Homemaking is not about achieving a certain look or state in the home. Biblical Homemaking is a process, a service, of love through hospitality to those who live in and enter into our home.
That means that what HGTV, magazines, and Pinterest call homemaking, probably isn’t. Homemaking isn’t about decor or style or expressing ourselves. Homemaking is, according to the dictionary, “the creation and management of a home, especially as a pleasant place in which to live.”
So this month we’re tackling what it looks like to manage our home in such a way that it’s a pleasant place to live. In fact, I have a special brain dump guide specifically about thinking through biblical homemaking. The guide will help you work out these ideas in your own specific context and for your own family’s needs.
I think homemaking, old-fashioned as it may sound, is the perfect name for our role as women in the home, whether we do or do not do other work inside of or outside of the home.
People need homes. If there is to be a home for people, then someone has to make it.
When we make homes, we are imitating God. He made this earth as a home and He prepared a garden as a special home for Adam. Jesus, right now, is in heaven preparing a place for us. When Jesus returns, we will receive an eternal home, a renewed and restored heaven and earth.
So when we make homes here in this already-but-not-yet time, we are imitating God and giving those who enjoy our homes (ourselves included, I hope), a foretaste of future glory.
Cooking, cleaning, corralling clutter – these aren’t ends in themselves and that’s why we’re frustrated when we make them first things instead of means to the real end of creating a home in which people can flourish.
It’s biblical homemaking if we are doing the work not for ourselves, but for God’s glory, as an obedient response to His call on our life to serve him and others.
We all want to have a clean house without spending all day getting and keeping it clean. It is possible! We just need a good house cleaning routine that works for our lives.
Once we figure out the best house cleaning routine for our own homes and habits, we can turn it into a checklist and make it happen regularly.
Checklists are even more helpful when the steps they list out are for bite-sized routines, routines that are not themselves overwhelming or perfectionism, but small and doable.
So, let’s think about how small routines serve us in our housework more than cleaning frenzies do.
Build a good house cleaning routine.
When we want to do better and we’re trying to do better at homemaking, we get caught up hunting for or trying to create the best, final, once-and-for-all perfect solution.
That dooms us to the boom and bust cycle.
Instead, we need to begin with baby steps and doable routines. Bite-sized routines will help us build true traction in our day-to-day lives.
Instead of doing what feels best in the moment, we take the time to think it through, make it clear, and so save ourselves not only time but also willpower points. Because making decisions takes energy and willpower, having the checklist to work from keeps us on track more consistently. A procedure checklist is the best tactic for overwhelmed moms at home.
In the podcast we talk about
- Using checklists with kids
- Chore time checklists
- Homeschool checklists
- Planning checklists
It’s less than 10 minutes of practical, real-life help in your homemaking.
This month inside the Simply Convivial Circle we’re talking all about procedure lists – when to keep them and how to keep them simple.
One key principle that applies is keeping them short & specific. But that’s harder than it sounds! So today I’m sharing an excerpt from a member-only mentoring session where we discussed what a priority is and how it affects our planning. I think you’ll find it helpful as you attempt to choose what matters most and what the right next thing is.
When it’s hard to get started because there’s too much to do, procedure checklists help us prioritize our tasks and give us the shortcut to momentum we need.
What is a priority? Can you even have more than one?
In this episode we discuss how to find your priorities and what it looks like to use them. Enjoy!
How can a procedure checklist help you move from an overwhelmed mom to a confident and capable mom growing in momentum? Download the Procedure Checklist Brain Dump guide to walk through my easy process for figuring out that answer for yourself. No one else has the answers that will fit your life.
Are you an overwhelmed mom? Frustrated with too much to do? A set of procedure checklists is just what you need to get the traction you want. When you’re looking at how to organize your life, getting a few key procedure checklists is the perfect place to begin.
This month inside the Simply Convivial Circle we’re talking all about procedure lists – when to keep them and how to keep them simple.
We often think we need some fancy or complicated solution to solve our home management woes, but more often than not, a simple, standard practice is all we need.
After all, home management is not about achieving your perfectionist ideals, but rather about accepting your responsibilities and your constraints so you can walk in faithfulness and fruitfulness.
When it’s hard to get started because there’s too much to do, procedure checklists are the shortcut to momentum you need.
How many times have you slumped into a chair or stayed, a bit numb, in bed, because the number of things to do that day was completely overwhelming?
Sure, we can declutter our lives, our homes, and our to-do lists, but that’s a process that takes time. What do we do right now? How do we get up and get moving? What is it that’s paralyzing us? Why are we overwhelmed moms much of the time?
The truth about any athlete able to maintain balance in awkward positions is that although they look stable and unmoving, their entire body is actually tense and continually on the move, adjusting and twitching to keep their position. It looks effortless, but their entire body is constantly engaged to make it possible.
We, however, in our lives, have something better than appearing to be stable. In our lives we can have stability because we are not our own source of stability. God is our rock, and our stability is found in Christ. So no matter how much we wobble, visibly or not, we can have a foundational assurance, trust, and security – not in our ability to handle all things, but in God’s ability to handle all things.
This is an excerpt from one of twelve lessons inside Simplified Organization: Organize Your Attitude. It’s called Wobble in Balance. Enjoy.
When we say balance, we tend to picture mechanical scales calibrated just right. We’re looking for the proper proportions to keep things “just right.” We want to find that sweet spot where we feel in control of our lives and on top of our duties.
True life balance, however, especially for moms at home, is not a matter of perfection, achievement, or equality. It is about making the needed adjustments as you go.
Watch a ballerina balance, watch a tight-rope walker balance. Try yourself to balance on one foot. Successful human balance is not frozen or motionless. As you balance, you make tiny compensations throughout your whole body. If you start to topple, you can stay upright by moving back a bit. Even when you look still from a distance, you can feel the tiny twitches within your body as you balance.
It is the same in life. We are not seeking a frozen, perfected balance in life as a mother as if our life is a set of scales. We are in a human balancing act much more like a ballerina, who has strengthened her muscles enough to hold a position and then change as needed, but whose body is always making micro-corrections and compensations.
For awhile, one vocation or one task might take over. But that time passes and we compensate by putting it on the back burner and putting more attention into what we had neglected for a time. As long as we come back around and make healthy compensations, this is balance. This is living out our vocations and our priorities – doing what needs to be done, and making small adjustments and shifts as needed to keep upright and avoid injury.
The more we do so, the stronger we get, and the easier it becomes. The stronger we get, the more it looks effortless or even static, but we know, we can see, the tiny compensations being made as we go.
Our life balance is always a wobble, and that is as it should be.
The truth about any athlete able to maintain balance in awkward positions is that although they look stable and unmoving, their entire body is actually tense and continually on the move, adjusting and twitching to keep their position. It looks effortless, but their entire body is constantly engaged to make it possible.
We, however, in our lives, have something better than appearing to be stable. In our lives we can have stability because we are not our own source of stability. God is our rock, and our stability is found in Christ. So no matter how much we wobble, visibly or not, we can have a foundational assurance, trust, and security – not in our ability to handle all things, but in God’s ability to handle all things.
Balance life through deliberate practice.
Awhile back I was listening to a radio interview of a musician-athlete. She talked about the willingness to accept the drudgery of deliberate, painful, boring practice being an essential element to her success in both music and sports. To be good at something, you have to work at it even when it is not fun or interesting or exciting. In fact, a majority of the time spent on it will not be fun or interesting or exciting, but the mastery produced by practice will be satisfying.
This mentality of deliberate practice is applicable to housekeeping, organization, and to any other learned skill. The actual practice of it is rarely interesting or fun or fulfilling, but satisfaction can be found in improvement, in growing, even when it doesn’t feel like anything is really being accomplished. You’re just doing your scales. Just as in housework, when mastering an instrument or a sport, you very rarely get that moment of something being really completed. It is ongoing, never-arriving, always-room-for-improvement work.
Yet with both an instrument or a sport, we assume it is worthwhile and admirable for a person to dedicate himself to mastery. We call such people role models or heroes, accomplished people.
Can the same not be said for homemakers? Surely it can be. We can become accomplished in faithfulness.
Faithfulness doesn’t imply large, impressive deeds. Faithfulness is all about doing what’s in front of you – your own duty, however humble that is – reliably and earnestly.
Most of what we as mothers do all day are little grains of sand: read a book, correct a child, make a meal, sweep a floor, change a diaper. Our days are full of small tasks, but their smallness does not mean they are insignificant. It is in these ways that we love our families.
Balance is something that we all strive for – at least sometimes. Sometimes we definitely give up. What’s the right balance in our home management duties? What’s the right balance in seeking balance? Today Virginia Lee Rogers and I are chatting about balance, why it’s so hard, and how to keep it in perspective. We want balance because life feels wobbly. Today my friend and Simply Convivial customer support manager Virginia Lee Rogers are talking about why we feel wobbly and … Read More
The post Ep #109 – What to do when life feels wobbly, a conversation with Virginia Lee Rogers appeared first on Simply Convivial.
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September’s theme topic inside Simply Convivial Membership is balance, and one of our members, Julie, summed it up perfectly: “I think that’s why so many programs and planners and classes or groups are appealing, because they often promise that key to life that we all feel like we’re missing. I always feel most balanced when I am truly centered on the true Center — the more I abide in Christ, the more I am attending to His word and living out the truth of Scriptures, I feel more confident about the decisions I make throughout the day.”
Amen!
There is no amount of balance that will make all you’d like to do fit into your day. Your time, my time, is limited.
This episode is an excerpt of a troubleshooting session I did with Simply Convivial Members on September 2nd, all about time budgets. Several of the courses inside membership give directions for completing a time budget, so we dug deep into why it’s important and what traps we’re likely to fall into as we work on them. Every week inside Simply Convivial Membership we do a thirty minute topic-specific troubleshooting session. The full replays are added to the member-only podcast, but here’s a clip of a couple best-of moments for you as you consider balancing your time.
Balance is such a tricky topic, because when we uncover what we mean when we talk about it, we uncover our unrealistic expectations that usually boil down to perfectionism.
So if we want to work on realistic balance, that begins by assessing and managing our time effectively. I do this by creating a time budget. Just like a money budget, a time budget isn’t about wishful thinking. It’s about looking at what’s actually available and how best to spend that.
Balance.
The dictionary defines the verb to balance as "to keep or put something in a steady position so that it does not fall" or "to offset or compare the value of one thing with another"
The first definition is the one we usually mean when we talk about achieving balance in our lives. We want to be steady, regular, diligent, consistent. We hate feeling like we're scrambling, dropping the ball, and never getting to what matters. So we think that balance is the answer.
But what is that something that we're putting in a steady position so it doesn't fall? Is it our to-do list? Is it our various roles and responsibilities? Is it our attitude? Or is it C - all of the above?
In seeking the first definition of balance, we often settle for the second, which basically means we make trade-offs and hope everything will come out even in the end. We didn't get to the laundry, but the schoolwork was done. We didn't mop, but we did get dinner on the table. Does the value of what was done make up for what doesn't?
Sure, we want all of the things done so that we never have to make trade-offs like that, but it's just not going to happen in this life. It's an idealistic dream. We can continue honing our skills and getting better at what we do. We can expand our capacity and align our expectations. But we will always be making trade-offs. We just need to make sure those trade-offs are done in favor of the work with ultimate value.
And, if we're going to keep anything in a steady position so it doesn't fall, let's make it our attitude, not our chores. Keeping an emotional even keel will keep the scales balanced no matter what it is that suffered in the day's survival mode skirmish. Having a balanced emotional life is the best kind of balanced life to live.
Learn how to organize your calendar! If you’re a busy mom and you want to be organized, you absolutely MUST have a working, accurate calendar. These 3 tips will have you using an organized calendar and bing more in control and aware of your time. Time management is an important skill for both the stay at home mom and the working mom.
These organization tips will boost your productivity and enable better home management. Whether you use a wall calendar, google calendar, or a pocket planner – these 3 calendar organization tips will make the calendar of your choice work for you.
There are three things your calendar must be if it is going to be organized – and the only way to keep it organized is to keep using it, keep updating it, and keep looking at it.
1. Organize your calendar by putting all appointments on it.
If you’ve made a commitment to someone else to be somewhere or do something at a particular time, it should be on your calendar.
Don’t assume you’ll remember or put any appointment – even sports practices or regular club meetings you think you’ll never forget. Put them all on the calendar. These are not clutter; they are reminders that your time is spoken for.
What is calendar-clutter is non-obligations or anytime-commitments on the calendar. These should be on a to-do list, not on your calendar. Your calendar should be an at-a-glance chart of how much time you have available to you, in what chunks, each day.
2 Make your calendar easy to see.
Your calendar will do you no good if you don’t look at it.
You can use a large wall calendar, a portable planner with a calendar, or a digital calendar – but the key is that it is easy and convenient to look at it.
And then we must look at it – multiple times a day.
3 Organize your calendar by color-coding it
If you do have a lot of people or a variety of commitments that make it hard to see at-a-glance what’s on your plate when you look at your calendar, you can use color-coding to make visual distinctions.
Repeating, regular obligations can go in a lighter color so that the one-off appointments stand out more boldly.
Commitments that simply involve you dropping off and picking up your kids can be in a particular color, separate from your own obligations.
Your Calendar Is Your Most Important Organization Tool
When you want to get your life organized, what’s the first step? If you’ve been around here for any length of time, you know the first step is always a brain dump.
But then, once you have a brain dump that fills an entire notebook, where do you begin? What do you do with all that? Where does it go.
There are 5 important bins you need before you can start sorting and processing that brain dump, but the one you should set up first and the one you should make your priority is your calendar.
Your calendar is your most important organizational tool.
“Good!” you might think, “I already have one!”
But, do you?
Are you using it?
Is it 100% accurate?
Do you look at it?
Yeah, that’s the kicker, isn’t it?
A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Don't let useless thinking waste your mental energy, your time, or your brain power. Get your thoughts organized with these organized mind tips that will help you have an organized mindset and mom life.
You need to know how to organize thoughts so you can problem solve and keep track of your thoughts and ideas, whether you're a sahm or a working mom. Every mom's mind is full and so we need mind organization for mom brains. Organize your thoughts for GOOD!
Organization is not about our stuff, but about our minds.
So you have thoughts - what happens with them? Our minds are a place where ideas swirl, information comes and goes, and what do we do with it all?
Here are 3 things I do to manage the mess that is the thoughts inside my head.
Perfectionism kills productivity and progress. This strategy will help you beat perfectionism with action and improve incrementally.
Perfection is a mindset. It is all in our heads. So we beat perfectionism by starting with our attitudes.
We need a thinking strategy that will help us to talk back to perfectionism. I call this strategy iteration. Iteration means that we take a small steps forward, looking back to assess and learn after each step. Instead of holding out for the ideal or trying to jump to the final goal, iteration looks for progress and learns and grows and adapts as progress is made.
Iteration isn’t just baby step by baby step progress, but also includes evaluation so that each step is informed and so that we remain flexible.
One way to start iterating is to break down your year into chunks and do interval planning. Instead of making a large, ambitious goal and a long-term plan to get there, you make incremental goals, work on a smaller chunk of the project or outcome, then assess and choose the next right small goal between intervals. By continuing to move forward and remaining flexible, we can beat perfectionism and see momentum in our lives.
A weekly review is my secret weapon to stay organized. It’s a time reserved for big picture thinking, planning, and list making. More importantly, it’s a time to LOOK at those lists – and my calendar.
A weekly review does not need to take an hour. You can take 15 minutes to get your stuff ready for the week ahead. A weekly review is the key, the linchpin, to all other plans, all other planners, all other systems. Without it, none of the rest will work.
Someone who is organized has responsible self-control, is diligent, and likes it.
A weekly review is the key for all other planning. Without it, your plans will not work. A weekly review is time set aside for looking at your lists. It’s crazy, but it turns out that your plans, lists, and calendar will not do you any good unless you look at it.
We wrap our minds around our lives as they actually are right now so we can be prepared to handle what’s happening. We also view our upcoming obligations in light of the big picture. It helps us get focused on what needs to happen so we can enter our week with calm clarity. That’s how we stay organized.
To get more done at home you need to keep your to do list short. It will help you focus on priorities and feel success, day by day, at home. Every stay at home mom needs a to do list, but we have to do it right if we’re going to experience productivity.
These tips will help you get organized at home as you focus on a daily top 3 to do list for optimal sahm productivity. I’ve been a stay at home mom for 16 years – let me share what I’ve learned about how to get more done at home.
Keeping a short to do list forces you to do two things.
First, we are forced to recognize that we cannot do all that we want to do. We likely will do more than 3 things, but having to choose three forces us to choose what’s most important, write it out, and put our attention there, where it matters most.
Second, a list of three is attainable. It’s not overwhelming, and so it’s easier to actually get started. When the list doesn’t look impossible, we’re able to get over ourselves, choose self-control, and just get started.
A small space for a to do list reminds us that our time and our energy are limited. We need to be careful to choose what we focus on in a day, because our ability to focus is limited.
Making a to do list is something we will get better at with practice. So start today and build the skill of making a prioritized list and following through. Grow in organization. You’re practicing, learning, and growing in the skill of being organized.
A brain dump – which means write things down – is the best way to declutter your mind. Clear your mind so you get get organized more effectively.
Whether you use a brain dump journal or just a cheap spiral notebook, a brain dump strategy will clear your mind and prepare you for organization at home. It’s the first step to declutter your mind so you can declutter your life. If you want to know how to get organized, start with a brain dump.
Write things down. All the things.
The first step for getting organized isn’t to buy containers or a label maker. The first step is to declutter your head.
We start every project and start getting organized by writing down everything in our heads. All those swirling thoughts and big ideas need to be written down on paper. When we write things down on paper instead of keeping them in our head, we can see them and think about them better.
When we write things down, we see first why we felt so crazy. We’re trying to keep track of and trying to work for too many things. When we see them on paper, we’re able to more clearly and deliberately choose where to place our attention. It gives us more objectivity as we think about what we ought to do next.
Want to get organized at home? I have 5 essential practices you need to be organized – this is tip #1 and it’s all about your attitude and mindset in being organized and getting organized – and even staying organized.
Declutter your home by decluttering and organizing your mind first. When we try to organize and declutter, we usually start with the stuff, but we need to start with ourselves. These organization tips will get you ready to organize your life and be happy.
When we are trying to get organized, we need to start off by clarifying what our definition of organization is. Because if we get our definition of what organization is from Pinterest or the magazines, we will think that it means having life go our way.
When we think that being organized means that our life will go our way, we are bound to be disappointed and bound to fail. Newsflash: Life will not go our way.
Being organized does not mean life goes your way and it doesn’t mean you have matching containers in all your closets. Being organized means that you are prepared and exercising self-control, not control of others or the situation.
Organization is simply shorthand for managing life’s resources to the best of our abilities. It isn’t a magic bullet that changes everything. It’s not a goal to be checked off once reached. It’s not a status to arrive at, after which we can do as we please.
Organization is on-going, just like laundry, dishes, and sweeping. It is a set of actions we must continually, consistently take. Organization is a state-of-mind as well as a state-of-home. There is no end-point goal, but there are always baby steps and further developments to make.
So how does one get from a state of chaos to a state of organization? How can we actually organize life when it feels like a jumbled mess? By taking it one day at a time, one step at a time.
There is no sudden overhaul to make or popular bandwagon to join or new leaf to turn over.
There is learning to take the right next action – and then taking it – each hour of every day.
There is only one kind of control we must have to be organized: self-control.
We might not control our homes or our lives, but we should be controlling ourselves.
If you want to organize your life, you need to start with your self, not your stuff. Being organized is a set of practices and mindsets, not a status to achieve.
Who doesn’t want a life that is smooth and easy? Years ago, when I had only quite small children and I had immersed myself in books on educational theory, I latched onto an oft-quoted bit of wisdom from Charlotte Mason:
"The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days."
She’s right, of course, but also wrong.
To blaze a trail or to lay down the rails is to intentionally decide and built the habits that we know will make our lives more effective. It will not make life easier – building the habits is hard work and paying attention and doing what’s called for in the moment requires attention and effort – but once intentional logistics become habit, then it takes less energy to maintain your equilibrium and consistency.
So, last week felt like a rough, terrible week. However, the school checklists got done, the house hadn’t really fallen apart, and we’d had no major disasters. Really, it was a typical week. Why did it feel so bad?
This week has felt pretty good. Even though I am definitely not getting to everything I think should be (like exercising), still most of the school was done and the house hasn’t fallen apart.
My bedroom was a wreck. Again.
I might make my bed consistently, but I just can’t keep my room clean. Maybe I should not sigh so much at the children’s bedrooms.
Usually, when faced with this situation, I set aside a morning or an afternoon and dig in. I take care of everything and get the room back in order.
Then, inevitably, begins the slide all over again.
But this time was different.
Although the hope of a fresh new year often expresses itself in new planners, pretty markers, and a renewed resolve, the reality of life lived with and for others often undermines our planner-related ambitions.
Over the years I’ve read numerous parenting books, mostly focused on the early years – those years where you feel like you’re going crazy and really, really want to do it all Right. Once you get a teen or two, it’s easy to drift into tired mode and say, “Well, whatever. I tried.” Sometimes you can pull off formula parenting with toddlers, but teens won’t let you – and that’s a good thing.
Character is one of those words we toss around often. Too often, we do so without a clear understanding of what it is.
We say we care about character, perhaps even homeschool for the purpose of shaping our children’s character, but what exactly does that mean and how exactly do we go about such a task?
As homeschooling moms, our sanity is vital and often at-risk, isn’t it? Here are five strategies I have for keeping my mental and emotional buffer padded.
No matter how good our routines are, there are times that they slip. Everyone in the family gets a stomach bug. There’s a flurry of trips and activities in the summer leaving us no time to keep up at home. There’s bed rest or a newborn that turns everything upside down and zaps our energy. A big project or a family emergency need takes all our attention. There is no routine and no resolve that is bullet proof against such times. They will happen.
There is no organization secret that will prevent entropy.
Organization just means you know what to do to recover and you set aside the time to do so regularly.
Homeschool life is a muddle, there’s no denying it.
I think we are all familiar with the feeling of being overwhelmed by everything that needs to be done and frustrated by how quickly everything needs to be done yet again.
We’re always wondering if what we’re doing is right or the best way or if there’s some magic sauce we’re missing that will smooth the path for our daily business and daily interactions.
I’m sorry. I have searched and searched, but I have no magic sauce.
However, I do have some hard-won principles.
“No, I’ll do it.”
We often associate these words with two-year-olds, eager to enter the larger world and assert their independence.
However, too often mothers are the ones saying it – perhaps not in so many words, but by their actions.
Would you rather do it yourself?
I’m not the most naturally affectionate or tenderhearted mother. As much as I do love my children dearly, it is hard for me to remember to show kids love like I ought. As far as Myers-Briggs typing goes, I am an INTJ, and one personality description I’ve read specifically calls out INTJ as not an ideal type for mothering.
Yes, read a novel. It doesn’t even have to be a Great Book. Just a story.
Get out of your own particulars, relate to someone else, and gain perspective.
When we read novels, we are able to see the world from another point of view, experience different settings and lifestyles and circumstances, and are better able to see how small circumstances build into a big picture – into a story.
Moms, with affection, might tease their children about not growing anymore, about skipping a birthday, or otherwise staying right where they are.
Is that because we want to stay right where we are? We’re comfortable in this role of mom-to-young-ones; we love the affection and the antics.
Yet time stops for no mom.
The children continue to grow, whether you wanted it or allowed it or not.
The question becomes: are you growing, too?
As I’m sure you’ve already felt, beginning your family starts a seismic shift in your life.
For the past number of years, you’ve faced milestone decision after milestone decision.
Now you have the degree, you’re married, you own a house, and you’re holding your first child.
It’s time for the calm, right? The coming of normality. Now starts the “real” rest of your life, what you’ve been building up to. Wrong.
Do you know that quote?
It’s from My Fair Lady, when, after months of agony, Eliza & Professor Higgins are draped late at night in the library, Higgins still insisting, “The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain!” Eliza moans, “I can’t! I can’t! I’m so tired. I’m so tired.”
Pull out the glasses, set the table, time to get ready for company.
Ever noticed that funny feeling where you turn on a different persona, a different ability to handle life, at least momentarily, when you open the door or answer the phone?
It shows us our actual ability to exhibit self-control.
Too often, our tone and tactics with our kids do not.
When we jump on them, pester and harp, then switch it off immediately if someone walks in the door, we’ve got a clue – there’s a problem.
Children are not born either good or bad, but with possibilities for good and for evil; therefore, our duty is to encourage the good traits and discourage the bad.
Children are born as image-bearers of God, yet also subject to sin. They are not blank slates. They are not malleable, shapeless lumps of clay. They are not mere animals. They are not angels. They are people, persons, individuals, from the beginning. They are made in the divine image and are not made to be simply fodder for the economy.
Our attitude is the most important factor in how we handle life, and it is a multi-faceted component.
One of the components of an organized attitude – and one we don’t consider often – is imperviousness.
Given the definition of classical education we developed previously – that classical education is a set of principles that focuses on developing a love of truth, goodness, and beauty – I then give you this, from Charlotte Mason’s Philosophy of Education:
"[Education should] qualify their children for life rather than for earning a living."
One sentence, and that’s the real crux of it. What is the point of our studies? It is not to get into college or get a job. The point is that our studies make us fit and able to live a worthy and honorable life.
Entropy is real. Entropy is part of the current natural order. The dictionary defines it as, “a gradual decline into disorder.”
That’s real life.
Gardens grow weeds.
If we want to handle life well, we have to align our mindset and our actions with that reality.
Life goes through different phases, stages, and seasons. Nothing we do will change that. Instead, what we do should work with that reality.
Planning and organizing while knowing that life will change and shift and our efforts will not last forever (or maybe even that long) will look different.
The enthusiasm of our young children energizes us. When they delight in poems, birds, stories, and singing, we take a deep breath and are relieved. This education thing we’re trying is working.
Then things get patchy. The 12-year-old puts on a stoic face, shuffles in the back of the group, leans away at the table. He argues about doing his assignments, or reading that book, or doing so much math. He pokes at his siblings or shirks his work. He argues, and argues, and argues.
Own your thoughts: Change the subject in your head.
When fear or doubt creeps in, we don’t need to reason with it or explain it away or answer it. We can simply pray about the issue that’s vexing us and then “change the subject” we’re thinking about. We don’t have to engage fear or doubt and overcome them with willpower or logic. The response of faith is to pray, then turn it over into God’s hands and move on with whatever small obedience is in front of us.
This requires trust and it is also the practice of trusting. Not only knowing our worrying doesn’t do any good, but also acting on that knowledge by doing whatever it is we’re supposed to be doing instead.
Changing the subject, Nancy said, doesn’t have to be super-spiritual. You can choose to think instead about what you’ll plant in your garden, about a book you’re reading, about a funny story of the kids’ antics you’ll tell your husband or mother.
Own your thoughts: Set your mind on things above, where Christ is.
The call in Philippians to set ours minds on things above is active. It’s a conscious, purposeful sort of thing, a thing that might feel weird and awkward at first. We’re to pick up our thoughts, as it were, from the trash heap where they want to dig and dwell, and set them where they should be: on Christ, on His kingdom, on love.
By faith, we have a good story. We’re living a good story because God’s writing it. We need to also tell ourselves The Good Story as we walk along our way – this is for God’s glory, not our own; this is about my salvation and sanctification, not about my pet goals.
Remembering the bigger picture puts our grievances and worries in perspective and helps us choose obedience instead of fear or pride. Remember the ultimate outcome and that you are a partaker of it.
Own your thoughts.
We’re kicking off the year with a conversation Virginia Lee Rogers and I had about keeping our attitudes organized in the midst of real life.
Season 12: Finding Rest as a Homeschool Mom This season of the Simplified Organization Audio Blog is excerpts from an hour-long live chat all about resting as a homeschool mom. Find the link below to access the replay in its entirety! Decision fatigue is super real, and it’s not just our kids pestering that puts us over the edge, it’s ourselves also. Our own minds are always going, going, going. And that’s one reason why we’re brain dumping, we’re getting … Read More
The post SO073: Living From a State of Rest appeared first on Simply Convivial.
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The result of an education in wisdom is a resilient integrity which knows what should be done and has the strength of mind and body to do it.
The classical tradition does not see itself as a new thing, but as part of the stream of Western civilization that started in Greece, grew in the middle ages, has suffered much recently, but still exists, particularly if we educate our children in its gifts and blessings and warnings. It is the culture of a people who sought truth, of a people then who met Truth, of a people who tried – though messily and often wrongly – to make truth the basis of their state and kingdoms, and always of a people who wanted truth more than anything else.
Yet another definition of education, fully in line with so many others: Knowing Truth + conforming ourselves to Truth = wisdom. It has been said in a variety of ways by a variety of people, but that is the essence of a classical education.
We’ve all felt the exhaustion, the overwhelming sense of vague failure or defeat, the frustration of feeling like our goals are impossible. Maybe some women out there can manage, but we aren’t and cannot be.
We need rest. We know we need rest. But we aren’t sure how.
The only kind of rest we can even think of is a “turn it all off” sort of rest. Go away. Escape. Shut down. Stop the madness.
And that’s pretty much impossible.
So, rest must simply be unachievable for us. Let’s just give up with a novel on the couch or with chocolate and a tv show: a second-best sort of escape.
Real rest, however, leaves us feeling ready to tackle our duties again. It leaves us refreshed and energized, just like a good sleep.
True, a good sleep is one kind of rest, but it’s not the only kind. All rest, however, is not an escape from our duties, but another part of our duty before God. He never tells us to be go-go-go, and in fact commands us not to be. We are not to be self-reliant and self-sufficient, but abide in His rest.
Taking time to be, away from our productive mode and our duties of service and stewardship, acknowledges that we can’t do it all and rests in the knowledge that we don’t have to, because Christ has supplied all we need: salvation, peace, and joy.
God is in control; we are not. Rest is based on our trust of that truth, the truth of His providential care.
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/2018/find-rest-mom/
General and wide knowledge is the foundation of the educated mind, the roots that nourish it and cause it to grow.
In order to bear fruit, we must learn and know.
We’ve all felt the exhaustion, the overwhelming sense of vague failure or defeat, the frustration of feeling like our goals are impossible. Maybe some women out there can manage, but we aren’t and cannot be.
We need rest. We know we need rest. But we aren’t sure how.
The only kind of rest we can even think of is a “turn it all off” sort of rest. Go away. Escape. Shut down. Stop the madness.
And that’s pretty much impossible.
So, rest must simply be unachievable for us. Let’s just give up with a novel on the couch or with chocolate and a tv show: a second-best sort of escape.
Real rest, however, leaves us feeling ready to tackle our duties again. It leaves us refreshed and energized, just like a good sleep.
True, a good sleep is one kind of rest, but it’s not the only kind. All rest, however, is not an escape from our duties, but another part of our duty before God. He never tells us to be go-go-go, and in fact commands us not to be. We are not to be self-reliant and self-sufficient, but abide in His rest.
Taking time to be, away from our productive mode and our duties of service and stewardship, acknowledges that we can’t do it all and rests in the knowledge that we don’t have to, because Christ has supplied all we need: salvation, peace, and joy.
God is in control; we are not. Rest is based on our trust of that truth, the truth of His providential care.
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/2018/find-rest-mom/
Quintilian wants young children to be exposed to literary thought and literary quality, because they are naturally receptive and retentive at this age – so what they are exposed to will matter to their entire course of life.
We’ve all felt the exhaustion, the overwhelming sense of vague failure or defeat, the frustration of feeling like our goals are impossible. Maybe some women out there can manage, but we aren’t and cannot be.
We need rest. We know we need rest. But we aren’t sure how.
The only kind of rest we can even think of is a “turn it all off” sort of rest. Go away. Escape. Shut down. Stop the madness.
And that’s pretty much impossible.
So, rest must simply be unachievable for us. Let’s just give up with a novel on the couch or with chocolate and a tv show: a second-best sort of escape.
Real rest, however, leaves us feeling ready to tackle our duties again. It leaves us refreshed and energized, just like a good sleep.
True, a good sleep is one kind of rest, but it’s not the only kind. All rest, however, is not an escape from our duties, but another part of our duty before God. He never tells us to be go-go-go, and in fact commands us not to be. We are not to be self-reliant and self-sufficient, but abide in His rest.
Taking time to be, away from our productive mode and our duties of service and stewardship, acknowledges that we can’t do it all and rests in the knowledge that we don’t have to, because Christ has supplied all we need: salvation, peace, and joy.
God is in control; we are not. Rest is based on our trust of that truth, the truth of His providential care.
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/2018/find-rest-mom/
We can’t simply demand character out of a person, nor can we explain it with abstract and theoretical definitions and expect that to be sufficient. We have to illustrate – model, tell stories, practice, make analogies – if we want to help people (ourselves, our children) change.
And doing so is demanding. It’s hard work. It’s good work. It’s necessary work.
We’ve all felt the exhaustion, the overwhelming sense of vague failure or defeat, the frustration of feeling like our goals are impossible. Maybe some women out there can manage, but we aren’t and cannot be.
We need rest. We know we need rest. But we aren’t sure how.
The only kind of rest we can even think of is a “turn it all off” sort of rest. Go away. Escape. Shut down. Stop the madness.
And that’s pretty much impossible.
So, rest must simply be unachievable for us. Let’s just give up with a novel on the couch or with chocolate and a tv show: a second-best sort of escape.
Real rest, however, leaves us feeling ready to tackle our duties again. It leaves us refreshed and energized, just like a good sleep.
True, a good sleep is one kind of rest, but it’s not the only kind. All rest, however, is not an escape from our duties, but another part of our duty before God. He never tells us to be go-go-go, and in fact commands us not to be. We are not to be self-reliant and self-sufficient, but abide in His rest.
Taking time to be, away from our productive mode and our duties of service and stewardship, acknowledges that we can’t do it all and rests in the knowledge that we don’t have to, because Christ has supplied all we need: salvation, peace, and joy.
God is in control; we are not. Rest is based on our trust of that truth, the truth of His providential care.
https://www.simplyconvivial.com/2018/find-rest-mom/
If there's one subject that can get a homeschool mom down, it's usually math. Listen in on this conversation between Mystie and Virginia Lee about getting math done, keeping it organized, and helping our kids progress at their own pace.
So this season is about rest. All the rest of the episodes are going to be clips from a workshop that I did on getting rest as a mom because sometimes that just seems impossible. So, I thought today we would kick off that season by having a quick conversation about specific ways that we rest and recuperate from an intense day with the kids. And, I think that thinking about it in terms of recuperation really helps. It’s not usually a word that’s used in this conversation. We talk about rest or renewal or refreshment or filling our buckets, but I don’t know, I like the word recuperation.
Virginia Lee: I do, too, it seems more like not a lifetime goal, a long term goal, but we can recuperate and get back into action.
Mystie: Right, the focus is on rebuilding, almost. You know, getting back to wholeness because sometimes it feels like we’ve been a little bit deconstructed after an intense day.
Virginia Lee: Yes, most definitely.
Mystie: So, I am an introvert and Virginia Lee is an extrovert, so we can bring a little bit of a difference there. And, Virginia Lee, what are some of the things that you do after a hard day?
Virginia Lee: You know, I almost always do the same things because they work for me: I pour myself a glass of sweet tea, I go outside under Silver Girl, which is our maple tree in our front yard, and then depending on exactly the extreme amount that I have to recuperate from, I either pray, or I would do a brain dump, or I get on a voxer and have a conversation with a friend.
Mystie: OK, nice.
Virginia Lee: And that seems to work every time. I choose one of those three depending of the severity or the seriousness of the recuperation that I need.
Mystie: Beverage, outside, and conversation. Because, prayer is conversation with God. And, of course, it makes me happy that brain dumping is also one of the options.
Virginia Lee: Yes, sometimes my recuperation needs to be a brain dump because the part that’s really torn me down is the fact that there’s just too much in my head from what I’ve seen in my day that I either need to tweak or add to, and it really helps me to refresh to just not have it all in my head any more.
Mystie: My current refreshing beverage of choice in the afternoon is sparkling water. So, I will grab sparkling water, close myself off in the bedroom or somewhere, sometimes I go take a quick walk or just even pace in front of my house (and make a spectacle for my neighbors), but actually, I think the walking itself helps – it is the outside but it’s also just some movement, it just helps the blood flow to the right places again. It helps my brain think more clearly, kind of like the brain dump. I will do a brain dump. One thing that I started doing last year was a power nap, which I’ve tried off and on before, and I read about power naps, but I’m not really a napper, and I usually feel worse after a try to take a nap, but I just felt like I needed the end of, especially like teaching a class or something, I just needed to turn off. I almost actually never fall asleep but it’s kind of my version of an isolation chamber. So, I take one of my black pajama shirts and drape it over my eyes, sometimes I will even put in ear plugs and close the door and everyone knows it’s just 10 minutes, no one’s allowed to knock on the door or anything, but I also have no nappers. No one naps at all in my house. Quiet Time is a thing of the past, so this is mom’s quiet time. It’s amazingly helpful to just have 10 minutes with zero input. It’s not really the sleep so much as the being able to turn off for a little bit. It’s like a reboot. And, then I have so much more mental clarity when I get up.
Somehow, Berry makes you feel affection for all mankind, even those who aren’t likable and maybe even those who are wicked but especially for those who are foolish — which is each one of us.
“Membership” with one another is the underlying thread in them both, and these novels have given that word much more depth and richness than I had ever seen in it.
As I’ve written before, the goal of education is virtue, and Karen’s first chapter jumps right into the heart of it. She proves that virtue – right acting – needs to be the end we are pursuing when we educate children (and also ourselves), and demonstrates this is the classical notion about what education is for.
Too often, when we start making goals around keeping house better or getting more done, our focus shifts too far and we start seeing these means as ends – which means anything that gets in the way of our ends is a problem to be overcome or a frustration to bear resentfully.
And too often, that means grumbling against our husbands or shouting at our kids. We could reach our goals, we think to ourselves, if it weren’t for these other people getting in the way.
I recently finished Laurie Bestvater's The Living Page: Keeping Notebooks with Charlotte Mason, and I loved it. I bought it based on Brandy's reviews, and I'm glad I made the leap-of-faith, even though I am only a Charlotte Mason admirer and not a strict adherer. I think this book, with the history behind commonplace books and Mason's implementation of it, demonstrates more clearly than ever that Charlotte Mason was not an innovator, but was making methods and practices based soundly upon the classical tradition that had gone before.
One way we give in to perfectionism is to not start unless we know we can finish and get the results we want.
But as busy moms, that is rarely possible.
We can’t put things off until the perfect moment, because that moment will not come.
Instead, try embracing 15 minute chunks.
It’s easy to smile at our newborns, smile at a cute three-year-old antic, smile at our bigger kids when they volunteer to help out. It’s good our life as mother provides us these opportunities to smile, because smiling is good for us and it is good for our kids.
“Cross to carry” is a phrase used to talk about suffering as a lot in life, but this portrayal of that cross, that suffering, as an active things in our life struck me. I have always pictured “cross to carry” as a passive sort of thing. But difficulty as a purposeful, active thing in our life, rather than a weight holding us down, is a much more biblical picture.
It’s paralyzed us all.
Perfectionism.
We wait to start moving forward with our plans because we aren’t sure if we’re doing it right. We aren’t sure they will work. We aren’t sure we like the colors we picked.
We pull back and reformat the page or change the app we’re using. We make the list over again to ensure we didn’t miss anything.
If you are starting out homeschooling with a bright-eyed little 5-year-old – a toddler tagging along and another on the way – you eat up the stories of those ahead of you on the journey.
When I was in that spot 8 years ago, I had my mom who had homeschooled 7. I also had other local older moms who let me browse their bookshelves and ask them questions. And then on my computer screen, I had Cindy Rollins, whose ninth child at the time was in elementary school, only a couple years ahead of my oldest. She was about to graduate her oldest, and she was funny and smart and real.
Season 11: Attitude Organization Tips When we recite a handful of mottos over and over again, and conform our choices to them, we more and more naturally live them out even when we don’t use them. They become the way we simply do things. The best way to form new habits is to take on the identity as the kind of person who … leaves places better than they were, smiles and starts, or doesn’t let a mistake or slip-up … Read More
The post SO063: Give Yourself a Motto appeared first on Simply Convivial.
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What should a homeschooling mom read? Mystie and Virginia Lee each recommend their top three book picks.
Certainly we are to watch and train the habits of our children and our household, but that is not all the work to be done. The confirmation of the habit into a character is work done by the person himself when he is independent. The test of character comes when each person is an adult – will he confirm the habits he was brought up to? Will he practice what he has been taught?
It is by means of language that we both procure and use wisdom – for does not thought require language?
So practice in speaking and in using language (today we would add writing as a method of discourse) is of upmost importance not just to learn to communicate effectively with others, but even to be able to understand within our own minds.
Education in the broad, unspecialized sense is summed up as how to obey and how to rule.
One who rules without obeying is a tyrant, one who obeys without ruling is a slave.
And both truly all begins when young children learn to obey, because that requires the beginnings of learning self-control.
Planning is not always going to be the same. We need to be flexible according to our needs at the time we're in.
Mothers must be both teachers and learners.
As mothers home with our children all day every day, we are their primary influence, especially in the younger years. We can’t just wing it and expect great results or satisfaction.
If we can be always learning, always growing, always stretching, we will be happier and we will be modeling for our children the life we’re asking them to embrace.
If we start off on this homeschool journey with no idea what education is, why we’re doing it, or where we want to be at the end, we’ll flounder, frustrated and fickle. We’ll have no idea whether what we’re doing is working or if we’re doing a good job.
We have to have a measuring stick to determine if we’re straightened out and moving forward. A measuring stick has a beginning and an end.
The one thread that strings through all the classical educators from Perrin to Plato is that education’s aim is virtue – not a diploma, not a job, not a stack of accomplishments. Our children – and even ourselves – should be better people, inherently, because of the education we received, no matter what circumstances or results come afterward.
Sometimes planning really is wasting time, but if we learn good planning habits, we can use that time effectively.
Mystie – There’s a spread of abilities and also needs. How do the expectations that we have as moms going into that situation affect how we do it, what we do, and our sanity as we do it. So, how would you say that your expectations have maybe changed or when you go into a school year.
Celeste – Since I’ve always had little kids while I’m schooling, usually a toddler and a baby, pretty much every year since I started homeschooling,.. I have a certain curriculum, a certain amount of work that I’d like to get done with my big kids but I have to be flexible in terms of where and how we fit in those things, and I have to be willing to think outside of the box in terms of our school day…
Mystie – When there’s so many interruptions and you have to get up and take care of the baby, there are just a lot of things all going on at once, and you’re trying to decide do I do [this] or [this]. How do you keep track of what you should be doing or what you need to get back to when the interruption calms down?
Celeste – I think of my day really in terms of blocks. At the beginning of each year I set out a schedule for myself where I have time slots and that is not actually something that we’re going to live by, that’s me making sure I’m not over-scheduling myself, that technically these things could potentially fit in this order on a given day that might or might not actually occur…
If there’s one thing that derails our attitudes, it’s feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about what we should actually be doing.
There are so many options, so many opportunities. We simply must say no at times, but how can we know when we should say no and when we need to be stretched by saying yes?
The answer lies in our vocations.
Vocation literally means calling. It is much more than a job, although it includes your jobs. They are statements of the primary roles you play in life.
We each have ways of functioning that fit us, as persons. Our vocations are made up of the big responsibilities we’re given.
Mystie – There’s a spread of abilities and also needs. How do the expectations that we have as moms going into that situation affect how we do it, what we do, and our sanity as we do it. So, how would you say that your expectations have maybe changed or when you go into a school year.
Celeste – Since I’ve always had little kids while I’m schooling, usually a toddler and a baby, pretty much every year since I started homeschooling,.. I have a certain curriculum, a certain amount of work that I’d like to get done with my big kids but I have to be flexible in terms of where and how we fit in those things, and I have to be willing to think outside of the box in terms of our school day…
Mystie – When there’s so many interruptions and you have to get up and take care of the baby, there are just a lot of things all going on at once, and you’re trying to decide do I do [this] or [this]. How do you keep track of what you should be doing or what you need to get back to when the interruption calms down?
Celeste – I think of my day really in terms of blocks. At the beginning of each year I set out a schedule for myself where I have time slots and that is not actually something that we’re going to live by, that’s me making sure I’m not over-scheduling myself, that technically these things could potentially fit in this order on a given day that might or might not actually occur…
Anxiety and worry are attitudes we need to rid ourselves of. Peace and joy (among others) are the fruits of the Holy Spirit, the attitudes of Christ we are to put on. God’s peace, by the Holy Spirit, guards our hearts, changes our attitudes, when we pray with thanksgiving.
Whatever plans we make, we're asking for trouble if we expect our kids to quickly comply when we're always springing new plans on them.
Meditation is rather hip right now, but the kind of meditation I am speaking of is not emptying our minds, but rather filling them.
The Psalms speak of meditation, and in the New Testament we are exhorted to meditate on what is good and true and upright and beautiful. Think on these things.
We are thus commanded with good reason: it is good for us. It is good for our attitudes. It is how we keep a proper perspective and align our judgement.
Season 9: Real Life Homeschooling Tips This episode is an excerpt from a video workshop Mystie recorded with Amy Roberts in 2016. You can register for the entire replay, with bonus support material, by clicking the button below. Amy Roberts is the mother of 10, who has children from 20 to 2 years old. She and her husband have homeschooled from the beginning and shares what she’s learned and how she does it. Amy’s blog, Raising Arrows Amy’s Instagram, Amy … Read More
The post CH052: Homeschooling Middle & Little Kids (with Amy Roberts) appeared first on Simply Convivial.
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What we think matters.
While it’s still awkward and uncomfortable, we accept the story God is telling in our lives and tell it to ourselves. We can take the reins and “take every thought captive.” We can change our thoughts.
And by changing our thoughts, we can change the story we see ourselves acting.
Is planning even possible for a large homeschooling family? Amy Roberts from Raising Arrows tells us how to make it work.
A potent attitude poison is unrealistic expectations.
When we make a to-do list full of our own pet projects when our time is actually taken up with our children and their needs, we're going to be grumpy and feel our children are getting in the way. Instead, we need to put them on our to-do lists and make sure we meet their needs before we add more in.
So much has to be done in a homeschool day and the homeschool management struggle is real. How do you keep track of the daily work in your homeschool and manage to juggle the work?
If you have multiple children and multiple subjects to teach (and that’s pretty much all of us) then we have a lot to keep track of and a lot to make happen. So, I thought that we’d talk about different methods and strategies for keeping track of all that stuff. So, how do you keep things straight in an average homeschool day?
So, I like to say that all organization projects should begin with a brain dump. So, I thought that the best place to start would be to talk briefly about what a brain dump is and then we can start talking about tips and hacks and troubleshooting and what works for us and that sort of thing. A brain dump is basically sitting down with a pen and paper and just writing down everything that’s in your head, either everything everything or just everything about a particular problem or a project, maybe, that’s driving you crazy. So, when you get it down and onto paper it really clears your head of the details and lets you look at what’s going on more objectively, it gives you a little perspective. David Allen, author of GTD (Getting Things Done) says that when you use paper to hold the information and the details then your mind is free for creative thinking and problem solving. So, it’s kind of like decluttering your brain.
Virginia Lee: Which we could all use.
Mystie: Especially with Christmas over and the New Year, it’s time to declutter.
Virginia Lee: Most definitely. Well, I have a question for you about that.
Mystie: OK.
Virginia Lee: Do you have any brain dump tips about doing it on paper or can it be done in an electronic version or way? I’ve always been curious about that.
Mystie: I’ve done it both ways. It’s kind of depended on what I’m brain dumping about because sometimes I just need to make a list. If my mind is really working fast I can type faster than I can write so then I’ll just open up something in Evernote and just start typing. I think it really depends on the person and the way you think and process. If I’m going to be writing sentences at all then I probably want to be typing because I’ll write better sentences, I’ll think through what I’m thinking about better if I’m typing, fingers move faster, but if I am not sure of the idea, like I’m trying to figure something out and brainstorm, maybe I want this thing over here and then I want to put something over here and make it a little more visual then writing it down is the better way to sort those ideas. And then, also, there’s just sometimes I’ve just had a notebook on the counter with a pen so that just here and there I can add a little bit.
Virginia Lee: That makes sense because on paper you can do things like draw arrows and circle things and sometimes, that definitely if I’m doing a brain dump, helps me to have something circled or this drawn over there, just because I’m visually seeing that I’m moving it that direction.
Mystie: Well, at least I know if I’m doing a brain dump into Evernote I know where it is, which is not always true if I started on the back of an envelope.
Virginia Lee: That is true. I think one of the biggest times I do brain dump is in the middle of the night. Sometimes when I lie down to go to sleep my mind is just going fifty miles an hour so I find that I, a lot of the time, do a brain dump, and then I lay back down. That’s definitely one of my biggest brain dump tips.
Mystie: Does it help you get to sleep?
Virginia Lee: It does, because I’m not trying to remember anything or flush out an idea because I don’t want it to go away. So, I feel like, OK, I’ve put that all on this pad by my bed or I’ve started using the Notes app in my phone because my husband’s sleeping and probably doesn’t need me turning on a light in order to do a brain dump.
Mystie: I think that’s the real power of brain dumping: it just puts it somewhere where your mind isn’t worried or stressed out about keeping something. It’s safe, it’s right here, it’s outside of my mind.
I’ve created a few iterations of a chore board over the last year and a half. First it was a poster board frame, and I wrote directly on the hard plastic frame. That worked well, because I could tuck it away quickly and easily when I didn’t want our schedule, consequences, and school assignments on display.
Then, my 3-year-old used it as a slide (which means he was climbing up it). The frame and plastic cracked. I tried to salvage it by simply sticking printed pages on it, but that simply didn’t work as well nor look as good.
Ok, I just can’t get enough, and I hope you can’t, either.
There’s more than one way to menu plan, and your personality will predict which one is most likely to work for you.
Keeping track of what each student is supposed to be doing, and making sure they are doing it is one of the struggles of homeschooling moms everywhere. Here’s how we’re managing it with a free online (and mobile) app called Trello.
Some people use spiral notebooks for a daily list; we use Trello for weekly lists. Here are the details and even some video tutorials to get you started!
A decluttered kitchen is one of the first projects to undertake when minimizing and simplifying your home life. If you’ve ever wondered how to organize your life, you’ve probably thought of your cluttered kitchen. A decluttered kitchen helps with an organized, prepared life.
So let’s take a look at the steps to achieving the goal of a decluttered kitchen.
You know I love lists. And I also love books. So what could be better than a list of books?
How about a list of my books?
I won’t try to convince you that you need to catalog your books, because you probably don’t. But having a catalog of the books on my own shelves is something inherently appealing to me, and it might be to you, too.
I know it seems overwhelming.
I know even just planning dinner sometimes seems overwhelming.
But, seriously, who wants to wake up and decide in the pre-coffee fog what to feed the troops for breakfast?
It has to be decided ahead of time.
We homeschool without a schoolroom. Like many homeschoolers, the kitchen table is where much of our work happens. We use our kitchen table, we use our dining room table, we use our couch, and we make due with the space we have.
I could write up a great-sounding post about why we don’t have a school room on principle. Something about school blending in with real life and not being contained in a separate box.
But the truth is that I’d rather have a playroom than a schoolroom, a place for the toddlers and preschoolers to freely set up a block city complete with railroad tracks, a place for the air hockey table we inherited, a place for the computers that are used both for work and for play. And our house layout doesn’t have the space for both a playroom and a schoolroom.
I think taking the kids with me on my grocery excursions is a valuable thing to do. However, that doesn’t mean it isn’t exhausting. But, my kids are homeschooled, and they do need to get out just as much as I do. Plus, they are homeschooled, so they think going to the grocery store is a grand day out. Plus, I am a homeschooler, so I think it counts as a field trip and “real life learning.”
The real trick about having a tidy or organized house is for everything to have a home. Things without homes are clutter. Things with homes can be put away, leaving space for life to happen. Mid-day, the house might look chaotic, but by evening, if everything has a place to go, it can look decently in order again.
Ack! No milk! Off to the grocery store!
Was there something else you needed? There was, wasn’t there? What was it? Oh, look, this is on sale. That isn’t, but I think I need some. Might as well wander down this aisle to shortcut to the other side.
Oops – walked straight past the pasta, and we definitely need some of that.
How many grocery store trips feel like a random grab-bag and confused wandering? It happens to us all, but if feeding our people and keeping the shelves stocked is an important part of our service – and it is – then we need some better strategies for making the most of our grocery trips.
Mystie: That’s fun. So this season, season 8 of the Simply Convivial podcast is going to be about organizing homeschool stuff. So I thought we’d just have a brief conversation about how stuff gets organized in our homes. I think it’s easy when you say “organized” to start thinking of the magazines or the Pinterest where organized means everything looks really pretty and looking pretty is nice especially if you’re a personality who’s good at that but I’m not. Really, being organized is about having a home for things and knowing where things go. So everything has a place so that then you can put it away because it has a place. So we’re going to talk about some of the ways that we give stuff homes in our homeschools. Virginia Lee, what kind of homes do you have in your homeschool?
Virginia Lee: Well, I guess one of my biggest things is that I’m not a big stuff person so if I have the stuff in my house it has to have a home and if I can’t find a home for it, it probably means I don’t need it. So I guess that’s one of the biggest ways I look at stuff. In fact my kids give me a hard time, “Don’t throw this away, we’re going to put this here so mom can’t throw it away!” But the other big thing of what I think of when I’m going to organize stuff is I need it to be practical. I’m not very good, like you said, I’m not one of those personalities where everything is pretty and maybe always pleasing to the eye but with the way our crew works is that it needs to be practical, it needs to be sturdy, and it needs to be in places where we can actually use it.
Mystie: Right. I think that’s key. Because we have a basement so I could reserve a shelf in the basement and put things away on the shelf downstairs where they’d be out of the way but if they’re too much out of the way I’ll end up not actually using them.
Virginia Lee: Yes, we are the same way. We do school in all different locations in our home and so we don’t use a schoolroom, that doesn’t really work well for our crew. So, for instance, we do Morning Time in our living room and I have a bookshelf in our living room and one of the shelves in that bookshelf is reserved for all of our Morning Time books and that shelf is placed right where I sit to do Morning Time normally and then our piano is in our living room as well and the piano bench has a … you can lift the top up … and so that’s where we store all of our Morning Time binders. So that works really well for us. They’re out of the way where little hands could reach them or mess them up but they’re very accessible and it’s something that we already had that we could use, I didn’t have to go buy something else, which I always love that, rather save the money to books. And then for some of our other stuff (we live in a tri-level) so we definitely have different things on each level of our home. So we have one of our levels has those shelves from Ikea that are sort of more like cubbies.
We’ve done grocery shopping a couple of different ways and I think you’re right it really does depend do you have a baby, do you have older kids going with you, you know, that kind of thing. For awhile we used to, at the bulk store that we have, you can put in online orders so you can just get online, choose every single thing you want, and place the order, and you do have to be prepared because you can’t do it the day you want to pick it up, I mean, you have to do it at least the day before, they need a day to get it and process it but what we used to do is I would stick that order in on Saturday because dad was home and so that allowed me a chunk of time to get online and have complete thoughts without interruptions, get that put in, and then we’d go to church on Sunday and then when church was out the bulk store was sort of near our church so we’d just go as a whole family over there, then we’d check in at the little kiosk and they’d bring our order out in carts, and they would have to go gather frozen or refrigeratable stuff but since we were all together we would often time get a slice of pizza, then we’d have lots of helpers to load and unload but we didn’t have to do any of the shopping and so it really cut down on the amount of time, my sanity
We recite mottos during our Morning Time.
I think the first place I encountered the idea was when listening to ACCS teacher training audio (back before there were CiRCE conferences or podcasts). The elementary classes of Logos School, at least back in the old days, had mottos they recited daily that then the teacher could call to mind when they were relevant.
As a family, we already had a few little sayings – ways to keep a frequent command familiar, memorable, and pithy.
Over the years I’ve collected mottos, adding to and subtracting from our repertoire, but finally settling down on a select few for this year.
This year, these mottos are behind the daily tab of our binder, and most days we go over them quickly. We alternate this selection with a selection of pithy Shakespearean proverbs each term.
We are often encouraged to set SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound. It sounds great, and those goals do have a place. But when much of our lives is about developing people (ourselves and our children), we can’t put ourselves or others into such neat little boxes. We must treat people as people instead of as projects. So for many of our hopes for the future, we’d do better to focus on our processes – what we do today and tomorrow and the next day – rather than on reaching a particular outcome.
In the first episode of The Scholé Sisters Podcast we talk about how levity – lightheartedness, humor, cheerfulness – is a burnout prevention method. When we sink into seriousness, into get-it-all-done mode, into self-importance, we’re bound to be pulled down, lose our joy, and want to give up.
To prevent burnout and also to recover from it, we need to shed our anxieties and pride – and we do that through laughter.
What does being productive even mean?
It’s not simply getting more done, but getting the right things done, done well, and done cheerfully.
You’ve met her. Maybe you’ve been her. Maybe you are her.
Some homeschool moms might scare you. Some homeschool moms scare their children. But I think we’ve all experienced another kind of scary homeschool mom: the one who scares herself.
Are you scary? Who do you scare?
Rather than grandiose goals for a new year, we should be focusing on small habits that we can build upon. These new year habits continue giving, because they become automatic. So we can gain their benefit without expending much energy to do so.
A habit is an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary.
Sometimes it’s weather, sometimes it’s illness, sometimes it’s simply fatigue. If you’ve been homeschooling for awhile, you’re probably familiar with the feeling: homeschool morning blah.
It’s normal; it’s natural; it’s bound to happen.
But it’s also one of a homeschool mom’s most insidious enemies.
No, I’m not exaggerating.
I’ve written before about making my bed and why it is a goal worth pursuing, two and a half years ago, actually, and while I make my bed occasionally (which is a great improvement upon never, by principle), it is hardly a habit.
Is happiness an emotion reserved for those who have an easy life? Right now I have a child who thinks happiness is a life without math fact drill pages.
And, he’s onto something that misery is dragging one’s feet and taking three hours to do what should take one three minutes. However, cause and effect might be different than his perception.
Keystone habits, according to Charles Duhigg, are habits that give “small wins [that] fuel transformative changes by leveraging tiny advantages into patterns that convince people that bigger achievements are within reach.” Incremental change is the best approach, and keystone habits are the increments that have the biggest impact.
It was about 5 years ago now that I deleted my old blog and started over from scratch, choosing the name Convivial Home for my new effort. A real estate agent promptly offered me a large sum for that domain, so I sold it and switched my name to Simply Convivial.
I did not want to let go of the word convivial – though perhaps it is a more unusual word than I realized. Convivial has been a stake-in-the-sand word for me: it does not come easily, but because my principles and philosophies continually point me back to it, I need to build it in our practices and also in my own attitude.
So much goal setting advice out there focuses on achieving certain outcomes. We’re supposed to set our eyes on a particular result we want to reach and work until we get there.
Maybe – maybe – this works with projects, but very little of our lives at home are project-based. Most of our time is spent in the day-in, day-out routines that build our home and family.
Some homeschool moms – maybe those with school-teacher backgrounds – have elaborate homeschool lesson plans – full sheets of papers full of ideas, notes, references, activities, and objectives.
Many homeschool moms have no lesson plans at all.
I have never been in that first category, but more often find myself in the latter. Even though I love planning, lesson plans seemed more like a waste of time than anything else.
Over at Simply Convivial I’m in the thick of a series about using Evernote for homeschooling, and I thought I’d make a companion post here at Simplified Organization about household records and plans with Evernote.
What, out of everything in the plan, is essential to make our homeschool day count?
Because more often than not, at least at my house, the entire plan doesn’t get checked off. So what does need to happen, without fail? Here’s my version.
Q: "When you scan things to Evernote, is this time consuming? Do you scan it to a PDF file and attach the file? I’d be very curious as to what this process looks like for you. I tried with a manual the other day and it seemed to take forever, and I had to try several different ways to get it to work."
A: It’s fast and easy, I promise!
It’s one thing to buy the books and supples, to make a plan, to create a chart and quite another to actually pull it off in a typical day.
Days never go exactly as imagined, but it’s worth the time to imagine it even so – and the more you practice imagining it and planning for contingencies before the heat of the moment, the better you’ll become and rolling with the punches of a real-life homeschool day in a household bustling with people.
So, there’s no doubt that I love Evernote. I’ve been writing a long series about homeschooling with Evernote, I include tips and strategies for using Evernote for home management in Paperless Home Organization, and Evernote is simply my external brain. Everyone should have an external brain of one sort or another, and Evernote is mine.
Does the word schedule make you break out in hives? Do you picture yourself harried and deflated at the end of a day on a schedule? Maybe for you, like me, that’s a vivid memory, not a theoretical picture.
There’s a lot of visceral reaction against schedules in the homeschool world, and I totally get why. I mean, can I schedule diaper blowouts and my doorbell ringing and the toddler pulling an open bag of powdered sugar onto herself? Where does that go in the schedule?
I know.
Menu planning is a pain.
I am all about the tips and tricks to minimize the time and brain-power we pour into menu planning. It’s something we need to do, something we need to become consistent with, but it doesn’t have to drain us or take an entire Saturday morning.
What I really, really wanted was a system so perfect that I wouldn’t have to expend any effort at all, I could just hum along doing whatever I wanted and everything would just work out.
Turns out life doesn’t work that way.
I’ve written before about the benefits of writing a daily to do list on an index card, but for several months I’ve experimented with using Evernote for my task list instead of a daily index card – just to see how going all digital would work out for me.
I have gone back to writing out a short daily to-do note, but I learned a lot from my little experiment. Using Evernote for a daily to-do list and journal is definitely a viable option with several benefits.
I love new year goals and resolutions, but they can lead to discouragement unnecessarily.
Sometimes we conclude that because we can never reach and maintain our ideal, then it is the ideal bringing us down. We’re tempted to stop trying to clean the house, organize the toys, lose the weight, balance the budget, or train the children because we never reach our desired (usually unrealistic) goal, or if we do, it doesn’t last long. However, the primary problem is our own paradigm, not our goal.
There is so much to keep track of at home.
Not only does everyone want to eat three times a day, but the house also has a fast trajectory down Entropy Lane.
There are apps for home routines. But will we really check yet another app consistently and regularly? Do we need one more place to keep information? Whenever feasible and efficient, I think it’s best to consolidate into using as few apps as possible to manage your home and family.
What sort of elderly person will I be? Of course a large part of the situation will depend on circumstances and what my particular physical or mental ailments will end up being. But what of the different temperaments? Will I be a sweet old lady, grateful and encouraging up to her dying day? Or will I be a fault-finding, cranky old lady?
When whatever my infirmities will be come upon me — no matter the age at which it happens — what will it do to me? Can hard circumstances turn you into someone you were not? Or do they reveal who you actually were by removing your defenses?
Why do we do what we do?
Sometimes, an end result can look the same even when the motivations behind the action are opposite.
Keeping short accounts leaves no room for resentment, no room for bitterness. It also means that even in the midst of argument, I am more careful in how I express myself, or where I let myself go — better to not sin in the first place than have to ask for forgiveness and make it whole and right again. It also means I can express myself openly and honestly and have confidence that we are both striving to reach unity and oneness, and in the ways we fail on our way there, restoration will be sought.
I set the timer for fifteen minutes.
Surely in fifteen minutes, I thought, I can make a difference in this room.
The room was mine. The mess was an assortment of laundry, books, accumulated junk, out-of-season kids’ clothes, and random bits.
I knew there was no way I was going to finish cleaning the room in fifteen minutes, or even that day, but I had to make a start.
When the Bible says things like “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
God means it. It’s true. It’s what we are to strive to attain, and what we need to confess when we fall short.
There are no excuses, only repentance.
What happens when we organize something?
It gets messed up. Inevitably.
We catch up on the laundry, but more clothes hit the hamper within hours.
We wash the dishes and clear the counters, then dinner is over and the kitchen is in ruins, with stacks of dirty dishes.
We put the kids’ closets in order, but by the end of the week the neat stacks are in shambles.
We put our own closets in order, but then comes a busy day, and it all falls apart.
We clean out the fridge, and then the next day a big spill happens.
It is so tempting to think that our work is undone, a waste of our time, useless, futile.
But it isn’t. I promise.
I don’t feel guilty for not doing the things that I have to do, I feel persecuted that I have things to do.
The pesky homekeeping tasks should just all evaporate and leave me be, leave me to do whatever I want, whatever I feel like, all day. Stupid housework. Down with housework! Up with play! Housework is boring.
My tagline is “organize your attitude,” because I think our own mindset as moms is crucial in our homes. This theme fits well here, too, because an organized attitude is at the root of having a convivial home.
Sometimes “purposeful” and “intentional” can turn into “taking oneself too seriously.” Anything that doesn’t go as planned (and isn’t that usually most things?) is a temptation to discouragement or at least to the laser-eye of analysis. Instead, it might just be a reminder that God is in charge and we are not, and we need to be willing to laugh at ourselves.
We really must begin with organizing our attitude before we organize anything else.
We might think that making a plan and working a plan is all about the planner, the app, the method, but the truth is that how we think about our planning going into it matters tremendously.
I wanted answers, a formula, a guarantee. Do this. That works. This will guarantee results. I thought it was a dichotomy. Either what I do as a parent will guarantee certain results or how I parent doesn’t matter, is inconsequential. It was either find the Right Answers or give up.
Many of us are task-driven. We want to see things done, accomplished, finished. This is what the world tells us is productivity.
What your homeschool looks like, even as you try working toward classical education principles, depends on where you’ve been, and how and when you entered this path.
There are no gate-keepers checking your credentials and only letting you in if you use the approved materials. And that’s a good thing. This week, we’re going to be sharing how these principles play out in our homes. We’re all different, and I hope that will encourage you.
Season 4: Brain Dump to the Rescue Brain dumping is such a helpful strategy, especially for moms at home. When we start holding a lot of things in our heads, trying to remember them is going to stress us out. It might just be a low-level stress we don’t even recognize, but when we get the details out onto paper, we will recognize the relief. So then, when you have that Brain Dump, especially that first BIG crazy spill onto …
So, what is education? What is it this task that I have signed up for? I’ve been collecting quotes on the topic for several years; when viewed together they paint an inspiring yet daunting picture.
Season 4: Brain Dump to the Rescue You won’t remember – don’t try. When does the brilliant idea strike? When do you remember you’re desperately low on milk? It’s rarely when you’re actually sitting down, pen in hand, to make a relevant list. But if you don’t write it down right away, it’s gone. Hence, the need for ubiquitous capture. Ubiquitous capture is a term from David Allen’s Getting Things Done that basically means you should always have a way … Read More
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When does the brilliant idea strike?
When do you remember you’re desperately low on milk?
It’s rarely when you’re actually sitting down, pen in hand, to make a relevant list.
But if you don’t write it down right away, it’s gone.
Hence, the need for ubiquitous capture.
Musical education is soul-craft: carried out properly, it tunes the soul and makes one receptive to truth and goodness.
So, you’ve done a thorough brain dump and you have sheets upon sheets of notes, tasks, and ideas.
Before you start getting your brain dump into a trusted system, you need to have that trusted system set up – you need those places and lists before your brain dump items can go into them.
To get the thorough instructions for creating the systems you need, walk step-by-step through the course. For a more cut-straight-to-the-chase approach, Paperless Home Organization is all about creating a digital version of a home management binder – a trusted system. That’s what you need before you can process your brain dump.
But if you are getting anxious about what to do with that brain dump now that it’s all captured and out of your head, here’s a quick cheat to get you rolling.
I am almost done reading The Liberal Arts Tradition, but I know I have at least two more posts in me for this one. I feel like I understand the liberal arts aspect of classical education so much better now, and that foundational understanding makes it easier to make choices come spring curriculum-planning time. I so much appreciate how the authors draw out classical education as a stream with each section. They cover each liberal art (and everything else they cover) starting with what it meant in the classical setting, how it was studied in the medieval period, and what the corresponding studies would mean in a contemporary setting.
Brain Dump to the Rescue Whenever you feel overwhelmed or scattered, sit down and brain dump. First, pick a place to keep your notes; either a notebook or index cards or Evernote, whatever thing would be convenient for you and just easy to jot things down. It doesn’t have to be structured – it shouldn’t be structured. It’s just a quick ‘get it out of your head and onto paper’ so that your head can be used for …
Although the idea of classical homeschooling can be intimidating and appear unreachable, it is far more down-to-earth than we might think. This task is not too lofty for us, homeschooling moms with households to run; in fact, our very lifestyles are an asset, not a hindrance.
If you’ve ever thought you needed to focus more on character than your curriculum checklist, you might be more classical than you think.
A complete and thorough brain dump is an integral part of both the Simplified Organization Self-Paced Course, and Work the Plan. Lately I’ve had a lot of people ask questions about it, so I thought I’d answer those questions together in a short video.
A label is a tricky thing. Just when you decide to take on an adjective as an identity, you find people including shades of meaning that you don’t personally want to own. For this reason, it’s common now to eschew labels altogether and call them useless and misleading. However, I think we should be comfortable generalizing and allowing ourselves to be generalized.
As the holidays wind down, the crazy schedules should let up and let us catch our breath. But if we were whirling all month from thing to thing, trying to track presents and events and guests and extra baking and so much more, we feel more like crashing than catching anything.
Write it all down and get all your swirling, swimming thoughts out of your head and onto paper.
You’ll be amazed at how simply writing it all out will calm you down and bring you clarity.
Isn’t homeschooling a sure way to drive an extrovert mom out of her mind?
It depends on the homeschool and on the mom.
As an extrovert homeschool mom you can set up your schedule and methods to take advantage of your strengths and fully come alive in your role.
Here are five ways to do just that.
Here at Simplified Organization, I like to talk about how organizing your attitude is the most important thing you can organize.
The more we give ourselves the time and activities that build our energy back up, the better we’ll be able to tackle our daily duties with gusto.
So here are five ways we can ensure we’re giving and refilling, appropriately and meaningfully.
The day was over. The kids in bed, the house quiet.
Time to sigh, breathe deep, and decide how to relax.
I glanced down and I caught sight of my daily index card plan I’d made that morning.
Ugh. I’d totally forgotten about it after the hubbub of the day had begun. I had begun with such high hopes and ended up feeling like I’d simply held on for dear life.
Oh well. I thought. That’s just my season of life right now.
Since I’ve started this blog, I’ve told people to be sure to plan their days. Just 10 minutes in the morning makes a big difference.
I was wrong.
Your homeschool needs your personality, and your homeschool has a personality. When we understand homeschool personality, we can be more content and happy in our roles at home. Whether or not you have taken the best personality test or no personality test, you might be able to figure out your type from the brief descriptions below.
The habit of an evening review wraps up your day and brings peace.
We often spend a lot of upfront time making a plan, getting it just right, getting the ready for it. And then, when the time comes to put it into place we start strong but quickly fizzle out.
It’s easy to think that the problem was a bad plan. But often it’s bad habits, not bad planning.
If we want to consistently work our plans, we have to look at our plans, every single day. In fact, we have to look at our plans more than once every single day.
Understanding differences in personality type can drastically reduce conflict and friction in relationships, and this is as true with our children as it is with anyone else.
Try as I might, I cannot escape the reality that having a plan is not good enough. I have to work the plan. It’s painful, but true. In a GTD set-up, the review process, especially the morning review, is the basic component of “work the plan” mode. What is the point in having a list, after all, if you never look at it?
The key to making your organization work for you at all isn’t putting into place the perfect system — the key is review.
So we’ll spend the next few Fridays talking about why reviews are so important and when and how we should be doing them.
Those of us educating young children tend to use the vocabulary of learning styles, though current research seems to be showing that most of the learning styles rhetoric is bunk.
Regular review is the absolute key to maintaining a sense of organization. You have to look at your lists to make them happen, and that looking over is called a review.
So, I will admit it. I am a personality nerd. I think that understanding MBTI typing makes us better parents, too.
Typing people into 4-12 kinds has been going on since Aristotle, and Kiersey (the one who named and described each of Myers-Briggs’ 16 types) makes a compelling argument that the ancient systems (like choleric, melancholic, etc) are observations of the same sort as those made by Isabel Briggs Myers. If you want to know the best personality test, I think it’s actually reading the descriptions until you land on the one that nails you.
A weekly review is a common business productivity recommendation, the best tip for how to organize your life, and a practice I encourage in my course Simplified Organization. It is a time to reorient yourself to what you have on your plate and renegotiate your commitments. You take some time and look at your calendar, make fresh to-do lists, decide what your biggest responsibilities are this week and then make sure those stay in front of your face so they can get done.
Gregory posits not only that review and application are the “essential conditions of all true teaching,” but also that “not to review is to leave the job half done.” The aim of reviewing material is threefold:
- To perfect knowledge.
- To confirm knowledge.
- To render knowledge ready & useful.
Reviewing can include a number of different aspects, as well:
- Review is more than repetition.
- Review involves making fresh conceptions and new associations.
- Review revisits knowledge so understanding becomes vivid
- Review is best spread over days and weeks.
- Review breeds the habit of thinking things over.
- Review creates a fresh vision.
- Review is rethinking and relearning.
Thus, Gregory notes that it is difficult to overstate the importance, the necessity, of review. In fact, he goes so far as to say, “No time in teaching is spent more profitably than that spent in reviewing.” Our reviewing should not be mere repetition, but should involve fresh conceptions and new associations. There is a spectrum of types of review, from the simple repetition to the complete restudy; each point upon that spectrum holds value and has a place in our efforts. Reviews should be frequent, thorough, and interesting. In fact, going over information after a lapse of time allows the opportunity for a fresh perspective and new connections. Not only that, but it also allows for “mental incubation.” Our brains work without our conscious effort (Gregory says this, but this statement is in fact the thesis of the interesting popular economics book, Blink), so when we come back to a thought after time has passed, we are more prepared to receive it and incorporate it or respond to it properly.
Gregory especially elaborates upon the necessity of a final year-end review. The final review, he says, should never be omitted, should be searching, should be comprehensive, and should demonstrate masterful competency (by teacher and student alike). Often, Gregory says, our teaching is pouring water into broken cisterns. Review will not affect the quality of the water, but it affects the cisterns, patching them up, repairing and preventing leaks.
We have a small practice that saves the state of our house, almost every day. It’s simple and effective – as long as we do it. When I keep the time in the late afternoon regularly carved out for it, I can handle the intermittent chaos that descends as the kids work and play throughout the day. I know order will be restored, so I can take a deep breath and let them strew blankets and play food everywhere.
What is a teacher? What is teaching?
According to Gregory, the art of education — that is, teaching — is two-fold:
- Teaching is the art of training. Teaching is leading the students into paths of physical, mental, and moral fitness.
- Teaching is the art of instructing. Teaching stimulates a love of learning and forms habits of independent study.
Thus, a successful teacher is working himself out of his position. He is moving his pupils not into but out of dependence on his guidance.
We can only train by teaching and we teach best when we train best.Every act of teaching — purposefully or not, done rightly or not — trains the student in good or bad habits of work and thinking. Likewise, every act of skills-training teaches knowledge, even if there is no lecture.
The work of teaching, says Gregory, is the work of assigning, explaining, and hearing lessons. These days we don’t generally speak of “hearing lessons,” but when we hear an oral narration after independent reading, when we give feedback on a written narration, or when we prompt a discussion, we are hearing lessons. So, “lecture” is only a third of the work of teaching.
Gregory also writes that
Teaching is the communication of experience.Experience includes facts, truths, doctrines, ideas, ideals, skills, art.
Communication includes words, signs, objects, actions, and examples.
By this definition, then, it is clear that the homeschool mother is not the students’ sole teacher. It is the books used more than the mother that teach. This relieves a lot of the pressure. Even more pressure can be relieved if the teaching we do give and the books we provide work with the grain of nature rather than against it. That’s why it’s important we know these laws.
We moderns tend to compartmentalize our lives, thinking of what we do – and who we are as we do them – as unrelated segments and pieces. So there easily becomes the church me, the hanging-out-with-friends me, the homeschooling mom me, the wife me, the internet me, and the tedious-chores me. What the tedious-chores me thinks and how she behaves seems irrelevant to the wife or hanging-out-with-friends me, and likewise the church or internet me seems to have nothing to do with the tedious-chores me.
This, claims Gregory, is the most widely recognized rule among good teachers. Although there may be times to disregard this law — when time is of the essence, when the child is ill or weak, or when the child is discouraged, for example — however, for the most part, the teacher is to “make [her] pupil a discoverer of truth” — make him find out for himself. The teacher’s role is “awakening and setting in action the mind of the pupil, arousing his self-activities.” If we can learn without a teacher — and we can — then the teacher is not essential. The teacher is an aid, an ally, a support, facilitating the process of learning within the student’s own mind — lighting a fire, not filling a bucket, as the saying goes. In fact, the knowledge which is most permanent, claims Gregory, is that which is discovered unaided. Therefore, the true function of the teacher is to create the most favorable conditions for self-learning. These conditions are threefold:
- setting an ordered path (“curriculum”)
- providing leisure and quiet for study
- furnishing materials
Teaching is not telling, but leading. It is not the vigorous telling nor the hard work of the teacher upon the passive student that evokes learning, but the active student’s hard work. The student taught without learning for himself is like one who is spoonfed but not given exercise — the meager nutrition cannot work out toward its natural end and the body will not gain its full benefit, will not properly grow. In this task of teaching, then, the self-confidence of the student is essential. It is gained by self-prompted independent use, but such use is usually first motivated through external pressures (such as “Mom making him”) before maturing into internal self-promptings. Moreover, “thoughtfulness deepens and grows more intense with the increase of knowledge.” The increase of this appetite will grow by what it feeds on — the more effort is expended toward learning, the more one is motivated to continue. The teacher’s job is to do what is necessary to begin the child on that path, but once the child is following the path with a will, pushing and shoving him along is more counterproductive than beneficial. Though the child may get to the end early, he will not have gained the experience and strength he could have derived from the journey. We, the teachers, are to keep our children on the path and keep them moving, but we should refrain from either rushing them or carrying them. Instead, let each exercise strengthen their own muscles of self-prompting, self-discipline, self-learning.
Many of us are task-driven. We want to see things done, accomplished, finished. This is what the world tells us is productivity. In this view, homemaking 101 would simply be about menial skills.
Gregory begins with a defense of his position that children possess the innate ability to think, which I will simply assume and not summarize. If you aren’t sure if your children are able to think, you’ll have to read that part yourself.
The law of the lesson has its reason in the nature of the mind and in the nature of human knowledge.1. Nature of the Mind — The mind connects thoughts through graded steps and linked facts; each mastered idea is equipment with which to continue on in “fresh advance.” 2. Nature of Human Knowledge — Knowledge is organized and connected inherently; it is not simple and independent loose facts: “Each fact leads to, and explains, the new. The old reveals the new; the new confirms and corrects the old.”
So, in teaching, our goal is to lead the student by such gradual steps that the pupil “who has mastered one lesson knows half the next.”
It is a serious error to keep the studies of pupils too long on familiar ground under the assumed necessity for thoroughness.Only deeper understanding, new lessons, should be sought when covering old material. Yet, you must also have mastery of the old before you proceed to the new:
Imperfect understanding at any point clouds the whole process.Of course, we must also keep in mind that “mastery” is a relative thing, for no man actually possesses true and complete mastery of any subject or skill. So, what we are seeking is wisdom in our own particular situations with our own particular charges. The best way to teach new through old is through metaphor, for all figures of speech “are but so many attempts to read the unknown through the known.” Metaphors are attempts to flash light from the old upon the new. Each person tends to use objects and language and concepts from his vocation as his metaphor-light, as his familiar key to unlock or grasp the mysteries of that which is unfamiliar. Be aware of this and try to use metaphors of the children’s world and not of worlds they do not know (this is the law of language again). The difficulty in answering children’s questions lies not in the complexity of the question or the answer, but in the children’s lack of experience and vocabulary you can draw upon to explain.
If you’re like me, you try – at least occasionally – to become better, more effective, more competent in your roles and responsibilities at home. And then after a period of trying, you peter out because it turns out it’s quite exhausting to grow and change and fight entropy and bad habits.
Gregory speaks in this chapter of language as a vehicle of instruction, an instrument of learning, and a storehouse of knowledge. Briefly, he means that through common language we communicate experience, by speaking we appropriate what we perceive, that without adequate words we cannot think through ideas clearly, and that what we know we will name. Beware, he warns, words with multiple meanings or homophones — children easily pick up confused meanings, unaware that their perception is inaccurate. It is what the student interprets in his mind, not what the teacher intends, that matters:
Not what the speaker expresses from his own mind, but what the hearer understands and reproduces in his mind, measures the communicating power of the language used.Remember that children do not yet have nuanced and weighty vocabularies:
Men’s words are like ships laden with the riches of every shore of knowledge which their owner has visited; while the words of the child are but toy boats on which are loaded the simple notions he has picked up in his brief experience.Thus,
It is as necessary for the teacher fully to understand the child, as for the child to understand the teacher. Oftentimes a pupil will load ordinary words with some strange, false, or distorted meanings, and the mistakes may remain uncorrected for years. Children are often compelled by their very poverty of speech to use words with other than their correct meanings. The teacher must learn the needs of the pupil from his words.So, choose your own words carefully when you are teaching. There is a place for broadening and deepening the child’s vocabulary through exposure, but a lesson is not that place. Listen to the child’s words as well, correcting and honing his speech gently. The very process of thinking it fitting an idea into words. We master truth by expressing it, so the pupil himself should do much of the talking. Lecture should be given a small place in instruction. In doing the talking himself (through narration or discussion), the child must make the knowledge his own by putting words to thoughts and through his speech, the teacher sees what the child sees and knows where to lead him and what correction and strengthening he needs. Moreover, language gives us the very categories we use for thinking and perceiving. The language at the student’s disposal is no small matter. One cannot think about something one does not have the words for. Giving children words is a vital part of teaching.
Have you yet discovered Auntie Leila at Like Mother, Like Daughter? She has a great series called The Reasonably Clean House. I have a weakness for reading articles and blog series that claim it is possible to have at least a semblance of order and cleanliness while homeschooling a brood. Keeping things clean does not come naturally to me, but I cannot shake the idea (try as I might) that it is an area I am to grow in, and that at least keeping things decent and presentable is possible.
Summary of Law 2: The learner must attend with interest to the material to be learned.
A learner – which is what our children are supposed to be – cannot be passive. To become a learner, a child must have two things: interest and attention. Unless and until the child becomes invested with interest and attention to the lesson, the teacher teaches but in vain.
One may as well talk to the deaf or to the dead as attempt to teach a child who is wholly inattentive.So, what is attention, exactly? Gregory develops three types of attention, one progressing to the other naturally, and it is leading his students through the progression, the development, of attention, that is the teacher’s duty:
- Passive Attention. Passive attention is characterized by flitting, playful, docile. No effort of the will is involved; such attention allows outside forces to dictate what is attended to. This is the most typical type of attention, especially in young children.
- Active Attention. Active attention is characterized by control, persistence, resolution, duty, determination; such attention requires effort. It is mental toil. Active attention is a distinctly human capability to control the mind’s focus despite allurements, fancies, and temptations.
- Secondary-Passive Attention. Secondary-passive attention is characterized by absorbed fascination, being caught up in and carried away by what one has determined to focus one’s mind upon. The object of attention is attractive, demanding little or no effort to exert very focused and absorbed attention.
It is the third type that teachers should seek out for their pupils. Secondary-passive attention results in efficient learning, effective learning, pleasant learning. However, secondary-passive attention is the reward, the fruit, of diligent active-attention. One cannot move from passive to secondary-passive, bypassing active attention. Active attention is work, it is necessary, and it is not the end goal but rather moves us into our end goal of “flow.”
It seems to be generally true that these sustained and abiding interests are to be purchased only at a price — and the price is strenuous effort. […] Human experience during the long ages has taught few lessons that are more dependable than that which predicates effort sacrifice and persistence as the chief ingredients of success, and this holds as generally of success in learning as it does of success in business, art, invention, and industry.So what is the role of the teacher in this? It is, Gregory maintains, that of a counselor and guide, not a taskmaster. For attention gained through fear or force not only does not last, but it creates a distaste for that which it is forced to attend to. The teacher is to aim for secondary-passive attention through gradual advancement that makes the effort worthwhile to the student. Handily, Gregory has some proposed methods for moving the student through such gradual advancements:
- Problems Give the children a problem to solve to motivate them to seek the material you want them to learn. This is best for initial momentum or for an engaging break from abstract study.
- Sensory Hand gestures, looks, many-toned voices, illustrations are artificial stimuli to use when necessary, but will not produce lasting attention.
- Relation Relate the information being presented to the past or the future of the pupil to create concentration with genuine interest. Touch his personality with the material.
- Delight Sympathetic interest can be compelled by a delighted teacher.
- Age-appropriate Interests will mature from the concrete and self-centered toward abstract and ultimate as the students grow; do not expect or aim for interest beyond the abilities of your pupils. Keep their interest and their attention proportional to their age and abilities.
The primary hindrances to attention are apathy and distraction, and the primary causes of these hindrances are lack of interest, lack of taste, and weariness. The teacher’s duty is to determine the cause and work an appropriate angle to help the student out of his funk or folly. If illness or fatigue is the cause of the student’s difficulty, then the wise teacher will not force the lesson. The teacher needs insight and wisdom.
Housework seemed like a stupid waste of time.
And I hated wastes of time and stupidity, so I triply hated housework.
I was torn between wanting to be a good, competent homemaker and thinking that the state of my bedroom or the kitchen just wasn’t a big deal. I could get meals on the table, keep things stocked, and complete a project just fine. But the day-in day-out routine tasks were a drag.
I’m not going to say that I love those routines now or that I totally rock them, because I don’t. But I am learning to love them.
And it all started back then, when my third born was just a baby, and I was reading novels.
What is a teacher? What is teaching?
According to Gregory, the art of education — that is, teaching — is two-fold:
- Teaching is the art of training. Teaching is leading the students into paths of physical, mental, and moral fitness.
- Teaching is the art of instructing. Teaching stimulates a love of learning and forms habits of independent study.
Thus, a successful teacher is working himself out of his position. He is moving his pupils not into but out of dependence on his guidance.
We can only train by teaching and we teach best when we train best.Teaching and training can be thought of individually, but in practice can hardly be separated. Every act of teaching — purposefully or not, done rightly or not — inculcates good or bad habits of work and thinking. Likewise, every act of training teaches, even if the lecture is missing. The work of teaching, says Gregory, is the work of assigning, explaining, and hearing lessons. “Hearing lessons” is hardly comprehensible today, but is akin to hearing narrations after independent reading and study, I believe. So, “lecture” is only a third of the work of teaching.
Teaching is the communication of experience.Experience includes facts, truths, doctrines, ideas, ideals, skills, art. Communication includes words, signs, objects, actions, and examples. I think this definition makes it clear, then, that the mother in a homeschool setting is not the students’ sole teacher. It is the books used more than the mother that teach. This relieves a lot of the pressure, I believe, especially in light of the laws that govern teaching. One essential element of teaching, however, is easy to forget yet indispensable even within the mother’s realm:
Questioning is not, therefore, merely one of the devices of teaching, it is really the whole of teaching. […] An explanation may be so given as to raise new questions while it answers old ones.This is how the teacher leads while instructing.
Personally, I always wanted a home to keep. I never wanted a career. I have only ever wanted a home and family to tend. I’ve never questioned that it is worthwhile. Whenever I think of it I am flooded with gratitude that God gave me a husband and home so early, so that I didn’t have to find some random job or feel obligated to pursue a career and ended up as a worker for Denver Concierge’s affordable maid service, for example.
So, it’s really rather odd that though I was doing what I always wanted to be doing, it took me so long to get my act together and really own the role of homemaker. Because, it turns out, homemaker means more than being at home and putting meals on the table. It means more than changing diapers and reading books. It does include those things, but it also includes housework.
The problem with much of the productivity and planning advice out there is that it begins with a vision for a 5-year outcome. When we as mothers at home try to do that, we are rather at a loss. We might not even know how many children we’ll have in 5 years. If your oldest is 5, you’re not likely to accurately foresee what it’s like to have a 10 year old – and the same is true if your oldest is 10 and you’re trying to predict 15.
What adjectives do you associate with repetition?
Dullness, boredom, monotony.
What about training, practice, discipline, rehearsal.
Pianists practice the same scales and pieces over and over daily.
Actors rehearse their scenes over and over.
Athletes practice the same drills over and over daily.
"Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable."
In the same way, we must repent, pray, read our Bible, speak kindly, admonish, rejoice, give thanks daily, even multiple times daily. We must do so to become good at them, to become fit and trained in holiness, to imitate and glorify our Father.
I’m a proponent of making short-term plans and goals – ones that can be tracked and kept top-of-mind easily. I call it ‘interval planning’ because I think it’s like interval training: Go all out for a short amount of time, then take a rest period, and you’ll progress more than if you just slog through at a consistent but slower rate.
So, I discovered that otium was the Latin word for leisure, and although I have not encountered it in education talks, it seems to have been the word used by philosophers to mean precisely what Pieper in Leisure, the Basis of Culture was trying to convey: that to truly cultivate arts – including those of reading, thinking, and discussing – we must have a space apart from the cares of marketing, buying, and selling.
Leverage the interval training technique in your personal life by setting up your calendar in intervals and planning goals accordingly. Planning and executing in short-term bursts is a great way to keep laser focus and high energy. By always keeping short deadlines and tackling manageable chunks, you can avoid overwhelm and procrastination.
Would we rather look good than be good, than do what is right? What if we prioritized being and doing good over looking good? And I’m not talking about makeup. It is simpler and more immediately rewarding to have people think we are good than to expend the effort and rise to the challenge of really pursuing virtue, regardless of people’s opinion of us.
Breaking up your year into intervals is a simple way to sharpen your focus and stay engaged with projects and the things that need to be done to keep life at home rolling along. Instead of looking ahead over an entire year and making goals, try looking only at the next six weeks. What has to happen in the next six weeks? That’s a lot more clear usually.
Welcome to The Simplified Organization Audio Blog! Releasing weekly on Mondays, this podcast gives you short and punchy action items and mindset resets. Check out the podcast page here and please leave a review. Thanks! Season 1: Interval Planning Make interval plans work for you. Use the theory behind interval training to maximize your planning effectiveness. Just as runners train and gain strength and endurance by running in short, intense bursts and then going at a slower pace for awhile, … Read More
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Education is For Life
This motto keyed into a vague notion I’ve been pondering lately: The idea of focusing more on the process, on doing what I should do, and leaving the results, the outcome, to God. The world recommends setting SMART (specific, measurable, actionable, realistic, timely) goals, where the focus is on achieving measurable results. But, doesn’t the Bible focus more on obedience and trust? And aren’t so many of the things we strive for as mothers and home-educators not exactly measurable?
Faithfulness doesn’t imply large, impressive deeds. Faithfulness is all about doing what’s in front of you – your own duty, however humble that is – reliably and earnestly. Faithfulness does not evaluate how a duty ranks in the public eye or whether or not the duty will earn credit; faithfulness steadily fulfills its calling.
Often when we plan out our goals, we think in year-long chunks of time, either personal goals in January or academic goals in August. If you’ve ever done this, perhaps you’ve noticed that it’s really difficult to keep those goals.
But now I’ve found an way to avoid this cycle, to keep motivated, and to have goals while remaining flexible.
Often when we plan out our goals, we think in year-long chunks of time, either personal goals in January or academic goals in August. If you’ve ever done this, perhaps you’ve noticed that it’s really difficult to keep those goals. A cycle I’m familiar with goes like this: Commit to a huge life-overhaul, personal transformation sort of goal for the year. Go for it gung-ho for two or three weeks in January. Burn out in February. Forget about it in … Read More
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Festina Lente, or Faithfulness part of the Education Is for Life series This series was inspired by Chrisopher Perrin’s great webinars on the principles of classical education. One of my favorites so far was his “deep dive” into the principle Festina Lente. Erasmus wrote of this proverb in his Adagia: If you weigh carefully the force and the sentiment of our proverb, its succinct brevity, how fertile it is, how serious, how beneficial, how applicable to every activity of life, … Read More
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