Total Barbour and Stainton: Recent Episodes

Ronnie Barbour

Unreliable opinions.

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DIY SAS.

Speedos, Speeding, Spidermans.

After 8 Minsks!


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Disciplinary Paddling... Sugary Lips... Marafuku Railways... Only Ewes.


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Rhubarb, Picked and Washed.

Total Eclipse of the Bollocks.

Councillor's Stools.

Paul McCartney's Lino.


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Brummie Mastermind.

99 Problems But A Bench Ain't One.

Thongs For The Memories.

A Goat Called Barry.


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Michael Caine Sings Abba.

The Machinations of Masculinity.

Glenn Close, But No Cigar.

Chasing Priti.


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Keir In The Community.

Hugh Grant's Muffins.

Bunny Hugging Foreplay.

Strap-on Melons.


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Rim Block

Wild Wees

Socking All Over The World

The Arthritic Book of Sex


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FOGO.

Migrating Salmond.

Olympic Pole Dancing.

Monet for Nothing.


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Free Frisking.

Catchit!

Penis Evolution.

Quarantinis.


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Take That Hot Tubs.

Potty Handy.

Putin's Pencil.

2021 Erection Special.


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The one about... Celebrity Colons...Ronnie Wood's Karzi... The Egg, Egg, Egg...Meghan's 3rd Wave. 


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Debrie or not Debrie.

Carl Lewis's Purloined Water.

Call My Buff.

Turkey Twix.


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Pretending you're a Womble.

Dogging not Digging.

Curried Seagulls.

Daffidildos.


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Tortoise Sniffing.

Green Dior.

Nudes at Ten.

Biscuits of The Apocalypse.


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Frenetic Crabs.

Honeymooning Minibuses.

Snakes in Greenock.

Robert Smith's Pedalo.


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Puffed Up Pout.

Pizza Under The Door.

Splat The Knob.

Niagara Balls.


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Toyah's Kitchen Tips.

What's the Choices?

John Betchemel.

Soup Brothels.


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Fatima Whitbread's "Knock and Run".

Sandwich Wars.

iWalkers.

Chuck Norris wasn't there...


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Two People in Lidl.

Michael Jackson’s Whisk.

Ronnie’s Sexy Time. 

Semi-Virtual Insanity.


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Annie Lennox's Kibbutz... Tempestuosity... Tier Maria... The Witchford Sandinistas.


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Joe Mangel's Sheep... Elongated Punchlines... Veggie Snobs... "And it got me thinking..."


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The Seed of Barbour... Who's the Tosser at The Till? ...Hardened Waffles...Self Satisfied Refs.


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Beaver Trust...Looking for a Purple One... Darts Vaccination... Very Wet Pubs.


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Licking Cars... Cliff Stacks... PritiStick...Big Plant Crossing 


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Musk, Musk... The PPE Box... 9to5 Vaccine...A Right Carrie on!


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"Bats in the loft...."


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"Secret Hose"


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"Curried Crocs"


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"Cinnamon Scrolls"


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"Fourskis"


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"Nasal Disputes."


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Scruples bigger that Rubles... Treelancers... Little Yoda... Dandy Dick.


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"Algae"


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"Must spy harder..."


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"The naming of parts..."


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The Tingle Single.


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Shrinkflation.


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Silent Ghis... Honorary Fellow... Bucket o' Tuna... Drop the Plop.


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Kip, nap...sleep.


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Elephant Impression.


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"Chips and Compost..."


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1.00pm Monday.


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Saturday 10.52am.


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Test, Rack and Taste... Near the Knuckle... Scream Inside Your Head...Downing St. Vossy Bop!


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"Small and Humble."


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10.05am.


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Sunny Hunny.


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Bobby Tingle finally speaks!


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11.03am on a Saturday.


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Voluptuous Hips in Zips... Safe Release...Dystopian Dichotomy... Electric Brae.


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3 o'clock on a Thursday.


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Bendy Bindy.


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Bees on a trampoline.


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Gazebo Bladder.


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Prehistoric Shafts...Geometry of Gout... Posturing Perineum..."Everybody peeks..."


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"They never just nibble..."


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Slow-Motion Toilet Seats.


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Banana Ketchup.


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Punching Onions.


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Wind of Change.


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Hermetically Sealed Kiltage... Risky Leaks... 3 Fingered Kit-Kats...The Facebra.


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Nana Moon.


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"Unpopped Popcorn."


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Crusty Towels.


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Tiny Little Cookers... Strap-on Face Masks... Track and Tracy... Sexy, Spicy Football.


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Soldiers of Forturing... Alien Feet... Quarantine Dreams... Dodgy 'Ship' Builders.


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Ganga Crackers... Dusty Bogata...Gog Magog Physiognomy... The Trudeau Pause.


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Tat Droppings...Amphibious Cod... Art Avocado... Pizza Reheat.


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Knock Door Lucky... Monkey Proof Labs... Donald in a Bunker... Clay Pigeon Burgers.


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"A horse called Van-Tam..."


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The "L" Rate.


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Little Ronnie Romping... Mind Monitoring... Divertisement... Horizontal Harbours.


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Tempestuous Weather... Hot-Tub-Afillia... Holy Decking... Diseased Spaceships.


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Condoms for Canada... Supernatural Cassocks... The Peston Muter... Trace, Track and Anaesthetise. 


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Marquee Malarkey... Mexican Trumpet Buffets... The Cummings Catheter...Michael Gove's Reliant Robin.


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Unicorn Piñata...Tree Love...Scullery Robbers... Shanghai Lils.


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BaBaBaBingo! ... The Savage Switch... High-Pitched Patisserie... Bundana Croquet.


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Broderick Gazumpstion...Two Go Rubbing... Track and Trace Boris... Peterburger Envy.


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"I was bored..."


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Wild Weeing... Follow The Seance... Saliva Cricket Balls... Covid Cap.


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Organised Cupboards... Musk of Ronnie... Bloodsucking Crotch Flies... Curtains for Diners.


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Drive-Thru Christenings... Ooh La La Lockdown... Lego Guitars...Too Many Trumpets.


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Mrs Doubtfire speaks out!


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Whittlesea Whelks.


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Clapping Through The Letterbox...Hotel Mannequins...Stainton's Occupational Album...Top Trumps.


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Pie Pie Charts... Hogweed Volunteers...Australian Cavity Searches...Socially Distant Tony Orlando.


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Ornamental Grapes...Ena Sharples in a Tutu...Furlough Fever... Fatima Whitbread's Cup-a-Soup Collection.


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Target for Ventriloquists...Pugs Dealer...Square Sausage... Quarantini Bikini.


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Let's Blether...The Mighty Bulge...Honey Monster Politics...Shut That Door!


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Sex Rationing...What's Plaque Got To Do With it? ... The Pan Pandemic... Spam,Spam,Spam, Spam!


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Exploding Moustaches...Chubby Olympics...Outdated References...Lockdown Macarenas. 


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Supplanting Faces...70's Infestations...Fascist Hot Desks... Disappearing Adele.


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Awkward Acronyms...Heckled at Haslingfield...Classically Drained...Sean Bean is Paul Stainton.


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Isolation Sex...Conservative Shorts...Over Exuberant Karaoke...Shabba Barbour.


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Free The Tingle.


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"I was bored..."


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Duvet Olympics...Basketball Steak Bakes... Single Letter Superiority...Brenda's Beaver.


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Farmyard Halitosis...Augmented Means...Hair Plug Staplers...Cavalier Face Masks.


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Crochery Kevlar...Alien Textures...Garlic Dismissive Glances...Klingon Asteroids.


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Bush Beating... Just Call Me Mark... Drug Pigeons... Spy Barbour


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Casting Aspersions... TV Uniforms... If The Kepi Fits... Love On An Airfield


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It's the Antidote Special - raising money for Arthur Rank Hospice Care


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Injected with a Donald...Finnish Hitmen... Asteroid Perspectives... Living with Bigfoot.


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Elongated Musk...Feng Shui... Lockdown Superheroes... Military Briefings.


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The Ugly Uplift…Bing Crosby’s Pipe….Updated Commandments and Culinary Herb Committees


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Puppets on Strings...Cummerbund Sausage...Social Antagonising... And Relief from the Mundanity of our Existence.


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Pre Viagra fish fingers...Soap bar chemistry... Sexless tv shows... Elton John’s teeth.


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Grouting for Girls...Short Flaps...Ronnie on a Pony...Fourplay.


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The Sound of Silence...New Badges...Chris Rea's Christmas...Stainton's Port Cullis.


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Wiki leaks twice...Bank Robber Tights...The return of the One Second Song Competition... Tomato Juice on your lawn.


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Jockey Shortage...Holmes v Trump...Banoffee Pie...Boss for a Day!


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Tinned Tomatoes...Retro Selection Boxes...Surprised by a Brush...The SAS.


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Parallel Universe...Porkies...Second Homes for Everyone...Ali Bongo


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The price of Fois Gras...Gally Barlow's Face...Mr Blobby's gone down...Globetrotting Stainton.


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Dangerous biscuits...Vacuous Stainton...Calming Characters...Nigella's Bathtime.


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Soup for Cats...Kerplunk Injuries...Ronnie and the Jenga.


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Craig David's Slow Cooker...Naughty Things with a Glove Puppet...New Romantics... Stomping on Pampas Grass.


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A view from beyond the gate.


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Ronnie talks to Suzi Quatro.


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Clapping anxiety...Big with dogs... Coq au Vin and Banana Peel.


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Satisfying Noises...Zoom Celebrity Squares...Pure Sex with Gary Barlow.


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Duck.


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Linear Fashion...Kerby...Longinous...Vapor Trails.


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Ronnie's Radio Academy of Dreams...Paul's Pantry...Who's at The Door?


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Ambridge Cow.


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Wham.Rap.


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Kevin Keegan's Shorts...Cooks and Raps...Everything's too Long!


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The Don is back.


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Alphonso's Maracas... Julie's Anal Glands...Illegal Manea Decking.


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14th Century Nuptial Stool...Product Placement...Hidden Messages.


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Dogger Bank...Virtual Haircuts...Big in Iran


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Bob Pele....Corn Beef Contraband...Big in Mablethorpe


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Uranium Rods...It's A Knockout...Ready, Steady, Cheat.


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Tatties...Mum's claim to fame..."Love a paddle."


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Imac...Pastry Injuries...Nana Moon.


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The Times wins.


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Thermometers. 


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Wet Balaclavas and Sheds.


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ronnie@effieproductions.co.uk


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Tape measures and Monster Munch.


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Interview with Jules Hillier from The Ely Mutual Aid Group.


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Much ado...


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Professors hair...


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Ray's in the bath.


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No hugging.


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Talk n Roll.


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