Speak LOUD: Recent Episodes
Tiffany Barnes
Born and raised in Salt Lake City, Tiffany has made it her mission create real change, one person at a time; this was the premise for her podcast, ‘Speak Loud’. The objective of ‘Speak Loud’ was to create a platform that supports anyone that is currently suffering abuse in their life. The podcast consists of stories told by previous victims of abuse, that will showcase their triumph and provide hope and encouragement through the stories shared.The host, Tiffany, has experienced a lot during her life. With experiences like being emancipated at age 15 – the second case in the state of Utah for a child of age 15 to become legally emancipated from their parents, due to abuse – to working 3 jobs to support herself and her education, and being torch bearer of the 2020 Olympics, among many more achievements, Tiffany recounts her stories and experiences to help victims of abuse.Tiffany also founded S.H.A.R.E; an advocacy group for students by students who have experienced abuse. Tiffany and the S.H.A.R.E team were able to grow the advocacy group into a 501c3 non-profit – a huge accomplishment.‘Speak Loud’ has already grown rapidly and created a close-knit community. Being so early in its creation, the accomplishments already achieved by ‘Speak Loud’ shows a positive future for the podcast.Tiffany is also in the process of releasing her first book and autobiography, ‘The Throw Away Girl’, which is expected to release soon.Her motto is “It’s the START that STOPS you” – a line that sums up ‘Speak Loud’ and Tiffany’s mission to help victims of abuse.
Today I’m talking with Eric Daddario, who travels to high schools to show students how they can immediately change the course of their own lives and the lives of others. His experience lies in watching his brother die of a drug overdose, which is when he realizes the importance of making positive choices. Eric’s program shows youth how their decisions can impact long-term consequences in their lives.
Speak Up When You Need Help
Eric’s message is to speak up when you or someone you know is in trouble from alcohol or drug abuse, sexual abuse, or they are suffering from mental illness. His brother struggled when they were teens, and even though they were in the same peer group, Eric didn’t go down the path of addiction while his brother did. Eric believes his brother made that choice because of his low self-esteem.
Struggling Through Social Anxiety on His Own
Eric’s brother struggled with social anxiety due to a physical appearance issue which his brother believed others were judging him for. Although he had plastic surgery to change his physical appearance, his brother still believed others were looking at him. Instead of reaching out to their parents for help, his brother turned to drink, believing it would calm his nerves. Next, he tried escaping with oxycontin, other prescription drugs, then cannabis and heroin.
Eric decided to align his decisions with the success of becoming a professional hockey player. So although they were both exposed to drugs, Eric decided not to do drugs or abuse alcohol because it didn’t align with his goal to be a pro athlete. Of their group of 14 friends, only two of them stayed clean and sober into adulthood - many of them are dead or are still hooked on drugs and alcohol.
Your Inner Voice
He talks about your inner voice and how some people brush off the warning they are given by their intuition that their actions are negatively affecting their life. Eric knew that addiction ran through his family on both sides of his family, so he decided early on that he didn’t want to go down that path. In addition, training for his sports gave him the drive and focus to lead a healthy lifestyle to achieve his goals.
Podcast Episode Resources to Learn More
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Today I’m talking with Jarie Bolander, an author and entrepreneur whose experience runs from semiconductors to life sciences to nonprofits. He runs his own podcast, “Entrepreneur Ethos,” named after his latest book of the same title. Jarie works to help clients convert concepts to strategies, but for today’s episode, he’s here to speak loud about what he calls “manly grief” and the process of grief for men in our society.
Caring for a Terminal Spouse
Jarie first encountered an issue with grieving as a man when his then wife, Jane, died of leukemia in 2017. He recounts the two of them trying to prepare in case of her death but that it’s impossible to prepare for something like that. After her death, Jarie felt afraid and confused, and turned to substances to try and fill the void.
While grieving, Jarie felt alone and like there weren’t many people who were able to support him the way he needed—even he didn’t know what he needed. He joined support groups for widows and widowers but found that the majority were women and that their experiences didn’t always overlap. Trying to deal with grief as a man in this society made Jarie realize that there was a gap for support for widowers and grieving men.
Grieving the ‘Manly Way’
Jarie found that expressing his grief and sorrow was liberating, and began to think about how to help others, especially men who went through similar experiences. The idea of “manly grief” came from his wondering of how to deal with grief in a ‘manly way.’ He wrote a memoir about his story with Jane, mainly of caring for a terminal spouse and how to help other men who are grieving. Jarie saw a lack of resources from a male perspective and decided to fill the gap himself.
As an entrepreneur, Jarie has to see himself in what he wants to be—which is how his book came along. He thought that Jane would want him to write a book so others didn’t feel so alone if or when they went through something similar. The book includes personal accounts of what helped him during his grieving process and focuses on the caregiving spouse.
Normalizing Stories of Grief
Jarie realized that the more he talks about his grief, the less scary it became. His challenge for listeners is to share their story, too: “I think we need to have these conversations and be thoughtful and compassionate with each other.” Cliche as it is, he says that whatever story you have, it’s important and needs to be told. Somewhere out there will be someone who needs it, too. By talking about your experiences and difficulties, Jarie believes that it normalizes and lessens the shame and sorrow around trauma.
Listen in to learn more about what modalities Jarie has used in his healing process, what was the most helpful for him when he was grieving, and
Resources Mentioned
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Connect with Jarie on his website
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Today I’m talking with Becca Ferguson, a licensed professional counselor in trauma recovery and an online course creator who brings her love for storytelling and teaching everywhere she goes. Her advice comes from years of both personal and professional experience and her main goal in her work is to make sure people know that they aren’t alone. Today, she’s here to speak loud for people who don’t know what they need—or are afraid to ask for themselves.
Seizing Your Autonomy
Becca shares that something she’s learned both as a therapist and a client is that after experiencing trauma, there’s a struggle in knowing how much to tell. One of the reasons why she became a therapist was because of her upbringing. She grew up in a conservative Christian home, where she didn’t have a lot of autonomy, and experienced abuse and the guilt and shame that came with it.
It wasn’t until last year when Becca was seeing her own therapist that she realized that she had PTSD. She was abused in the church, had over-controlling parents and grew up with little to no autonomy. Since then, a lot of her story has come from accepting diagnosis and learning how to grow through it.
Getting Real with Clients
Becca’s own experiences influence how she approaches her career and her clients. While other therapists don’t believe in the power of self-disclosure, she prefers to be real and vulnerable by providing examples of what she’s talking to her clients about. She feels that this lets her clients connect with her as they can see that she knows what she’s talking about, and also aids in her own healing, as she’s able to process her own traumas in a validating way.
“Mental health doesn’t make sense,” Becca says, which is why she takes a unique approach to every client she has. She works primarily with young adult females, who are often in similar experiences to what she went through. Becca loves relating to her clients, and being a therapist has been a healing experience for herself, as well.
Values-Based Healing
Along with therapy, Becca is embarking on a virtual coaching adventure, and is launching her first virtual coaching group in June. Her goal is to focus on a different topic in each course and over five weeks connect with and educate women on that topic in small groups. The coaching groups will also use a workbook, another passion of Becca’s that she’s discovered, so that clients will have tangible tools to take back to their own therapists.
In all her work, Becca wants to create a place where women feel empowered to discover and go after what they need to live their best lives. She works to make her own services as accessible as possible, keeping costs low and classes small. “It’s less about the experience that we went through,” Becca says, “and it’s more about why we’re healing from it.” Her values-based approach is what sets her apart as both a therapist and a speaker.
Listen in to learn more about how Becca brings light and humor to her experiences, what modalities she uses for healing in her own life, and to receive a discount for her online courses only for podcast listeners.
Resources Mentioned
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Find Becca’s resources on her website
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Today I’m talking with Rebecca Heidt, an artist and author of “Acceptance: The Beginning” and “Acceptance: The Reality”, the first two in her fantasy-fiction series. She’s won awards both for contemporary fantasy fiction and woman fantasy fiction as well as an LGBTQ+ fantasy fiction award. Rebecca believes in empowering others in not giving up on the life they want and claiming your own voice.
Using Fantasy Fiction to Process Trauma
On her first appearance on the Speak Loud Podcast, Rebecca spoke about her own journey with trauma and acceptance, life experiences that influenced her to write her books. She’s currently working on the third book in the “Acceptance” series with plans for at least one more after that, along with an audiobook by December 2023.
Through her book series, Rebecca’s been able to heal from the major traumas of her life, a process that she describes as happening over and over. The fictional setting offers a playground to experiment with different narratives and parts of her life in a way that’s both healing and entertaining. She’s currently nominated for other awards, though the LGBTQ+ fantasy fiction award remains the most esteemed, in her opinion.
Canvas Art and Writing as Therapy
Rebecca recounts that she turned to writing and art at the same time. After losing a family member in early 2020, she was struggling and found art as an escape.What she likes about canvas art as opposed to writing is that it provides a visual for what she’s feeling. She values being able to shut her brain off and let her heart take over.
Along with art and writing, Rebecca enjoys meditation as a form of healing, which often translates into her art, as well. Over the course of her father’s illness, she’hs taken a new perspective on material things, and has found more peace and joy in prioritizing experiences over possessions.
Learning to Be Bold
Since her last appearance on SLP, Rebecca has been learning to be more assertive, growing into speaking on her boundaries more vocally, something that can be especially hard for women. “I bring a lot to the table,” she says, “and if you can’t sit at this table and handle me, then you can go.” This sentiment is reflected in her writing and art, too, which are unapologetically vibrant and bold.
Rebecca asks listeners to reflect on why they’re scared to say something, and to remember that the most important thing is to just say it. Opinions only affect the people who have them, so don’t worry about what others think. There is so much power in believing in yourself.
Listen in to learn more about Rebecca’s book series, what makes her feel empowered, and spiritual awakenings happening across cultures today.
Resources Mentioned
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Find Rebecca on her website
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Today I’m talking with Hildegard Koenig, proud mother of 2 who has dedicated her career to helping others. She’s a survivor of domestic violence and sexual abuse who has a burning passion to give her voice for victims of crime and cancer warriors. Hilde is the co-founder and president of the Ink Against Cancer foundation, a unique 501c3 that connects local artists to provide financial aid for cancer warriors.
The Consequences of Domestic Abuse
Hilde shares that her first experience with sexual assault came when she was a child in Venezuela, and influenced her adulthood when she met her abuser and eventual ex-husband. She stayed in the marriage until nearly losing her life, and left with nothing but her two children—15 months and 2 months old, respectively—and was scared of what would happen. Hilde says she wishes she had known of more of the resources available for victims of domestic and sexual abuse.
After sharing her story and getting a protective order against her abuser, Hilde started from the bottom once again. She endured many medical issues, both physical and mental, from the abuse, and still does today. However, despite her doubts and fears as a single mother, she stayed away from her abuser and eventually remarried to someone who adopted her children as his own.
Starting a Non-Profit
Hilde’s passion for helping people overcome cancer led to her nonprofit, “Ink Against Cancer Foundation.” Not only had her mother-in-law passed away from cancer, but Hilde’s close-friend shared his frustrations with her about the lack of resources he had to even pay bills or make rent while out of work. Hilde organized an event where many of the artists who tattooed her friend, Wolf, came together and raised funds to support her friend. Wolf, before passing, asked Hilde to continue in his memory.
“Ink Against Cancer” is now preparing for its 7th annual event, with over 90 applications from cancer warriors. Hilde and her husband, along with four other board members, work in their offtime to support in whatever way they can, whether it’s helping pay for gas, meals, or buying Christmas presents.
Uniting Artists Against Cancer
The 501c3 provides last wishes for adults as well as children whose wishes weren’t able to be fulfilled during COVID-19. “Cancer does not discriminate,” Hildegard says, which is why the foundation works for cancer warriors no matter the age or cancer type. After the fundraiser, artists get to meet the families they’re helping and see where their donations go to. Hildegard says that while they only ask artists for 50% of what they make, the majority donate 100%.
Hilde and her partners want to make a difference, big or small, in someone’s life. She hopes that listeners know that we all have our own story. “And it’s your story. No one can take that away from you.”
Listen in to learn more about the effects of abuse on families, Hilde’s five-year-plan, and how to get involved with “Ink Against Cancer.”
Resources Mentioned
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Learn more about Ink Against Cancer
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Today I’m talking with Steve Simpson, an award-winning author, businessman, and volunteer. Steve started writing as a child to escape a traumatic home life, and through his experiences with foster care, therapy, and self-help groups, was able to create a new start for himself. Today, he is here to speak loud about his own experience with abuse and to assure other people that they aren’t alone.
Living a False Narrative
In early childhood, Steve describes himself as the opposite of an ‘A student’: a ‘Z student.’ He was always cracking jokes and interrupting and consistently failed classes because of the physical and verbal abuse he was receiving at home from his father. He recalls being jealous of the ‘smart kids’ whose home lives he believed to be perfect. Steve developed the narrative that he was stupid and that it didn’t matter how much effort he put in—he would never succeed.
Steve says that he started cutting class as early as 3rd grade, and would go to the library and ask for a pen and paper, where he would write poems and short stories. He was always looking for a way to escape. At 11, he attempted suicide, telling people who didn’t understand: “I don’t want to die—I just don’t want to live.”
The Power of Self-Help
A turning point came in Steve’s life when he entered the foster care system. He stayed in two homes, both of which he recounts as good experiences, but the real trigger for healing was the mandated self-help group he attended. He states that it was the best thing to happen to him. Suddenly, he felt welcomed, and discovered that the so-called ‘smart kids’ in his group were fighting many of the battles he was at home.
The self-help group supported him not just in his personal life but in school. Steve learned how to study and found himself doing better in school, going from barely passing to achieving high honors. In his teen years, he finally realized that it wasn’t his fault, but his circumstances that were creating the negative narrative.
Writing The Survival Handbook
As an adult, Steve has written four fiction novels that he directs towards teens and young adults who are experiencing abuse or considering suicide. The books are works of fiction with abuse victim handbooks hidden inside. Steve wrote the books as a way for the right tools to get into the hands of kids who otherwise wouldn’t seek out help or who didn’t feel safe.
Steve says that he wrote the kinds of books that would have helped him. He wanted the reader to leave feeling better about themselves and encouraged to find help. “If you are an adult,” Steve says, “you are involved.” He believes that it’s the adults’ responsibility to call out abuse and support victims, especially if they’re children.
Listen in to learn more about the impact of verbal abuse, the dangers of misdiagnosis in abuse victims, and Steve’s five-year-plan.
Resources Mentioned
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Find Steve’s books on his website
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Today I’m talking with Jennifer Morris, a mother and author who decided to share her story of love and loss in order to bring comfort to those who have experienced death in their lives. Her book, titled ‘I Will Be With You Alway’ released last June in 2022, and provides children with a story on how to understand and cope with loss.
Another Side to Trauma
Jennifer’s mother died when she was 5, and still too young to understand what death was. She recalls sitting at the dinner table and asking her family, “So, after the funeral, is that when Mom is coming home?” Eventually, Jennifer learned that her mom had committed suicide, and as a young girl told herself the story that her mother had left her deliberately because she was not enough.
Her father’s struggle with alcoholism led to another narrative of Jennifer’s: “I’m alone with no one to take care of me.” She spent her life searching for someone to take care of her, willing to be whatever role they needed in order to feel loved. She felt like a ship in the middle of the ocean, with no control over what life brought. Jennifer recounts that it took 20 years for anyone in her family to talk about her mother’s death.
Deepening Relationships with Others
Much of Jennifer’s healing came in the form of her relationships with her loved ones. She had lived a life where she felt like she wasn’t enough to keep her mother alive. She recalls a defining moment of bringing her first daughter home for the first time. She was struck with the realization that her own mother must have been so unwell to do what she had, because Jennifer couldn’t imagine leaving her child. It hadn’t been her fault.
Jennifer always wanted to be closer with her husband and friends, and it took many intense therapy sessions for that to become a reality. Now, however, she feels love and deep joy daily by letting her loved ones know how loved they are, and by ‘going deep’ with everyone she meets.
Finding Love Where It Is
Jennifer wanted her book to be relatable for anyone who has had someone pass.Over years of therapy, self-healing and self-love, she’s learned that she will always still be connected to her mom. She imparts this journey in her book, ‘I Will Always Be With You.’
“Instead of looking for where they were,” Jennifer says, “find them where they are.” She thanks her mother—and father—daily for the magical moments in her life, and feels their presence always. Jennifer hopes that listeners know that whatever trauma they experience is not forever. There is hope.
Listen in to hear the lessons Jennifer’s learned from writing her book, how her family dealt with trauma and shame, and what advice she has for listeners.
Resources Mentioned
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Connect with Jennifer on her website
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Today I’m talking with Jason Hallberg, a friend of many years. He is a new podcaster, from the podcast ‘Rapping Life,’ which is currently in its early stages. Today, he is here to talk about childhood emotional neglect and the discoveries he has made through his soul journey.
Emotionally Absent Childhood
Jason Hallberg grew up dealing with emotional neglect throughout his childhood. His father was absent from his life and his mother raised him in the same manner she was raised. His mother’s boyfriend created an environment of verbal and emotional abuse as well as excessive drug and alcohol use. Jason was quick to lash out and fight in elementary school, and after being expelled in 4th grade and seeing the impact it had on his mother, became closed off and hyper-independent.
Jason recalls meeting his best friend in junior high whom he described as changing his life. His friend lived an entirely different lifestyle, with a functioning family and more money than Jason, who felt he didn’t bring anything to the table. Growing up poor, he recounts that everything seemed to connect back to money. However, that friend was the beginning of him changing his mindset and accepting that he could be loved and have value as a person, regardless of social status.
Noticing and Breaking Patterns
Jason’s soul-searching began about a year ago. He was unhappy at his job, and after he left and went through a breakup at the same time, began to notice patterns in the relationships in his life. He learned about attachment styles, which led to childhood trauma, and from there had a series of epiphanies about his own life and how his early years still affect him in the present day.
Most of Jason’s healing has been done without a therapist, which he credits to just being honest with himself. He would take early morning walks, starting with affirmations and then later finding meditation. Ideas began to come to him about what he wanted, eventually leading to his podcast.
Freeing Yourself From Your Thoughts
Today, Jason is applying the wisdom he’s learned to his own life. He accepted that something in his life set him down a different path than the people around him, and from there has made an effort to move forward. “Keep doing something that’s uncomfortable,” he says, “until it feels comfortable.” For him, that’s been being emotionally vulnerable with his mother and having more open conversations about his childhood.
Jason tries to practice honesty with himself and with the people around him. He is aware of how our thoughts shape our reality and what other people tell themselves. In his day-to-day life, he tries to be more uplifting and honest with those around him. If he were able to talk to his younger self, Jason would remind himself that people do care about him and that he is not alone. To listeners, he hopes they know the value of open and honest communication not just with your loved ones but with yourself, as well.
Listen in to hear more about childhood neglect, reconnecting with estranged family members, and setting boundaries with the people you love.
Today I’m talking with Clayne Edward Wayman. He’s a sought-after mortgage professional, as well as a speaker, mentor, and founder of the Vasper platform where he shares spiritual insight and mentorship. He’s a recent author and a husband and father of four. Today, he’s here to share his story and talk about the importance of trust.
Growing Up in a Polygamist Sect
Clayne grew up in a Mormon fundamentalist polygamist community. His mother was a first wife of 12, and Clayne was the first of 45 children who were primarily homeschooled. He married his first wife when he was 21, and then remarried after their divorce. Both were members of the same fundamentalist community, based in Arizona.
Clayne explains that multiple Mormon fundamentalist groups still practice polygamy. These sects view polygamy as a cornerstone of the religion. Growing up, Clayne thought his lifestyle was completely normal— ‘monogamist’ was the worst insult that he knew. However, in 2008 and 2009, he started questioning the environment he was raised in, and by 2017, had left the community entirely.
Life Outside Religion
Clayne slowly came to realize that his life’s direction did not lie with the church. He began testing his doubts when the president of the community read from scripture that God would tell him if one of them sinned. Clayne found this as an opportunity to test it and began experimenting with women outside of his marriage. Not only did the religious leaders not immediately know, but they also called him to say that they wanted to arrange for him what they claimed to be a God-ordained marriage. This was his checkmate.
Clayne fully left the community in 2017—with his second wife. He had shared all of his doubts with her before they married and later when he was contemplating leaving. Both times, the trust paid off. His wife left with him, and the two of them were able to step into a deeper and more trusting relationship. Clayne continues to stand, as he says, ‘on the rock of integrity.’
Spirituality and Self-Discovery
When telling his president that he was leaving, Clayne recalls the president telling him that he had never found a better way of life. He endeavors now to show people that there is a much better way. Clayne has had several spiritual awakenings and practices the shamanic ancient wisdom. He’s used ayahuasca, Psilocybin, and other plant medicines, and has learned to see the signs of divine love and wisdom in everyday life.
Clayne’s book, “Echoes of Resounding Love,” shares his story as well as techniques for readers to learn more about themselves. He delves into psychology and how to trust your own unique process of discovery. “There are things the heart knows that the head may not even be able to fully wrap around,” he says. Clayne hopes that his readers, as well as the listeners of this podcast, learn to trust in the process—and trust that the universe has better things in store for you.
Listen in to hear more about Mormon fundamentalists and polygamy, ayahuasca and plant medicine for trauma survivors, and generational trauma.
Resources Mentioned
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Connect with Clayne on the Vasper website
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Today I’m talking with Charles Smith, an author, advocate, and lifelong survivor who uses his story as proof that you can overcome the worst that life has to offer. He has been an orphan, homeless veteran, and suicide survivor, and uses his pain as a building block to support others. Today, he’s here to speak loud about bringing awareness to complex PTSD.
Compounding Traumas
Charles’ mother passed away when was 6, followed later by his father at age 11. As a child, he moved often, and from the PTSD found it difficult to create close relationships. His sister recalls that he didn’t speak for 6 months after they moved in with their aunt and uncle following his father’s death. Charles says that he was in shock and depressed, and afraid of getting close to people only to lose them again.
As a young adult, Charles joined the army infantry, serving in Cuba and in the reserves. However, after his uncle and grandfather passed away, Charles found himself a homeless veteran. The depression led him to self-harm and an eventual suicide attempt. He was taken to a mental health facility and later bounced between veteran shelters for 5 years. This crucible, he explains, was actually what helped turn his life around. He no longer felt alone, seeing others in similar circumstances, and changed his views.
Understanding Complex PTSD
When Charles first experienced PTSD, it was known as battle fatigue and thought to only affect veterans. By the time he grew up, it was concluded that anyone who went through trauma could have PTSD. Standard PTSD forms from one specific trauma. Complex or compound PTSD, however, Charles describes as a layered cake. You can’t have multiple instances of PTSD, but you can have multiple traumas that manifest in the same illness.
After being diagnosed, Charles wanted to learn as much about PTSD as possible and help other veterans receive the support they needed. He offered help to veterans returning from Afghanistan and Iraq, as well as created programs for various organizations to use what he had learned about PTSD. He’s written 7 books on a range of subjects, including PTSD, addiction recovery, and financial well-being.
Giving and Receiving Help
Presently, Charles is working with Aware Recovery Care, an addiction treatment organization that specializes in in-home treatment. He works with clients for 52 weeks as they battle addiction. This way, he’s able to support people in their homes for a longer period.
Charles’ advice to listeners is to never give up. When he talks about his suicide attempt, he tells people that it was ten years ago and that his son is now ten years old. Without him, his son wouldn’t be here, either, along with many other great things he’s received since then. Charles says that he would “rather see someone get help than go to another wake.” He hopes that listeners will feel empowered by his story.
Listen in for tools on managing PTSD symptoms, accepting the loss of loved ones, and Charles’ upcoming book and other projects.
Resources Mentioned
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Find Charles’ books on his website
Contact Aware Recovery Care
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Today I’m talking with Papa Ray Hurst, a husband, father, and personal coach. After surviving two major depressions, he’s now leading people to freedom through his work as a speaker, author, pastor, and business owner. Today, he is here to speak loud about absent and abusive fathers and the social struggles that can be traced back to these roots.
Returning to Core Beliefs
Papa Ray’s greatest desire “is to be for the world what the world was not for me when I needed them the most.” His father left when he was 4, and he grew up in a Mennonite community that wasn’t equipped to handle the separation. He recounts that his relatives didn’t know what to do for him and no one stepped up to fill the space of father-figure, which led to his depressions later in life.
Ray talks about the importance of identifying your dominant thoughts and returning to the core imprint of the subconscious, or the core beliefs. Narratives created in childhood—almost always before 10, Papa Ray says—are difficult to shake but necessary to change. A simple step to this hard process is asking yourself through writing, ‘Why am I thinking this?’ and digging deeper until you find the root cause.
Freeing the Mind
From his own experience and others’, Papa Ray says abuse and trauma are never the victim’s fault, but holding onto resentment towards the abuser will block healing. He shares that his father was “looking for what he couldn’t find” when he left, but that wasn’t Ray’s fault. By shaming and blaming the other person, you’ll never be free.
Ray believes that we can overcome any and every trauma we encounter. But forgiveness is key. He leads his own students to freedom by changing their beliefs of worthlessness and being unlovable. The abuser was broken and empty, and while they should still endure consequences, it’s unfair to the victim to continue punishing themselves mentally after the trauma has already ended. No one can live a healthy life until they let go of that resentment and blame.
Healing Parental Wounds
As a personal development coach, Papa Ray shares his five simple steps to freedom with his clients, as well as his own father’s blessing. He shares that more than 90% of his clients were not loved by their fathers and all benefited greatly from his father’s blessing, which he shares in this episode.
Papa Ray’s book, “Daddy Why Don't You Love Me? A Father's Blessing to a Daughter, Healing the Wounds of the Absent and Abusive Father,” also details his own story, apologies, and blessings. No matter how good a parent’s relationship with their child is, he says that there are no perfect parents out there, and everyone can benefit from learning how to identify and heal parental wounds. He hopes that listeners realize that they are valuable and loved, just as he did, and that everything is “one thing, one step. We don’t jump up mountains.”
Listen in to learn more about Papa Ray’s 5 simple steps to freedom, his plans for the next five years, and a sample of his father’s blessing.
Resources Mentioned
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Connect with Papa Ray on his website
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Today I’m talking with Dr. Nghi Dang, a family medical physician of over ten years. He’s provided care to all ages for both mental and physical health, giving him a deeper view of the importance of mental health. He’s the author and illustrator of the “The Adventures of Max and Friends” children’s series and father of 2. Today, Nghi is here to speak loud about responding to mental health proactively rather than reactively and encouraging preventative action.
Understanding Trauma and Mental Illness
Nghi was born in Vietnam and immigrated to the United States when he was 6. The culture shock turned his world upside down and he felt alone and outcasted in his new home. Despite his initial struggles with school, Nghi went on to follow his siblings’ examples in medicine and pursue a career as a doctor.
Nghi explains that mental illness is often diagnosed when patients come in to treat symptoms that seem unexplained. Trauma and stress can affect the body in more ways than we might know, as Nghi explains, and there is a strong connection between trauma and the somatic system—which is a web of chronic symptoms one might feel in the body. Through his profession, he’s come to understand the stigma around talking about mental illness.
Practicing Mental Wellness
Nghi believes that love will always triumph over hate and that taking care of yourself is a crucial part of your health and wellbeing. He shares inexpensive healing modalities, other than medication, such as cognitive behavior therapy for those with anxiety. Treatment requires effort and time on both sides of the patient, Nghi says. Yoga, meditation, and other practices that allow you to sort through emotions such as journaling and therapy are also helpful.
Nghi also recommends mindfulness meditation which is derived from Buddhist wisdom. It’s easily accessible online and for free and, unlike other meditations, encourages the meditator to focus on the moment at hand. Mindfulness meditations are often guided, which Nghi believes is beneficial for those with trauma, guiding thoughts away from triggering subjects and back into the body.
Proactively Addressing Mental Health
Nghi believes in treating mental health proactively rather than reactively. Often, he feels that we fall behind and are often playing catch-up when it comes to our mental wellbeing. For this reason, he wrote his children’s book series, “The Adventures of Max and Friends” to open up a dialogue between parents and children around mental health.
Nghi has written 8 books, all on different mental health topics that he gears towards middle ages. One book centers on bullying, for example, and another follows learning disabilities. Through writing and also his medical practice, he hopes to give resources and the avenues needed for parents to talk with their kids about mental health, and address mental illness before it becomes debilitating.
Listen in to learn more about starting the conversation about mental health, stigmas around mental illness, and Nghi’s beliefs on how grit and failure can lead to success.
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Today I’m talking with Neil McKinlay, a meditation teacher and mentor who seeks to share his lifelong interest and reflection in the practice of meditation. Through his online communities, he offers a range of resources to encourage and empower meditation practitioners to access their inner wisdom and bring it into the world.
Healing the Relationship with Self
Neil has been meditating since he was a teenager and has practiced in 2 separate Buddhist communities. However, the community was being driven by the spiritual leader’s self-centered impulses, rather than healing and meditation. The manipulation and disrespect that Neil suffered from his teacher caused him to make the difficult decision to leave the community he had been a part of for twenty years.
Neil left the community with a distorted relationship with himself and his intuition. He no longer works with a spiritual leader but is still reflecting on those twenty years and sifting through for the golden nuggets and silver linings of things he’s learned and taken with him.
Finding Places to Gather
In Neil’s path to recovery and healing, he continued to turn towards his familiar practices of Buddhism and meditation. He has also gained a deeper appreciation for the importance of community, especially in light of COVID-19. Seeing how others were engaging in their lives with brilliance and creativity was a reminder to Neil of the same resilience and wisdom that lived inside himself.
Meditation can offer something to heal trauma, Neil believes, but he also agrees that sitting in silence can be overwhelming for trauma survivors. His advice is to respect that experience of overwhelm as a message that meditation isn’t the right tool at that moment. While meditation works for some people, other practices may feel safer and more effective, depending on the time. Neil says that this was part of his own experience, even with his deep connection to meditation.
Inspiring Others With Meditation
For someone who’s never meditated before, Neil suggests perusing the local library, YouTube, or podcasts for resources until something resonates with you, “like grocery shopping: just check things out based on what speaks to you.” There are many different languages and traditions of meditation, so he encourages listeners to explore what works for them.
Neil offers resources of his own through his online communities. The Living Meditation Network is a free community that offers many of the meditation resources he mentions, such as writings, guided meditations, questions, and discussion boards. This and his subscription-based community are meant to be opportunities for people to gather, learn, and give and receive encouragement and inspiration weekly.
Listen in to learn more about what happens when we meditate, online meditation communities, and Neil’s future book and online curriculum.
Today I’m talking with Kimberly Bell, inspirational speaker, minister, and mentor. She’s the author of “Epitome of Kimberly: A Memoir of Finding Hope & Resilience.” She has 2 degrees, in Human Development and Psychology and in Theology. Through her books and talks, she inspires others to never give up hope and inspire others to solve societal issues. Today, she is here to speak loud about having the courage to be yourself and embrace your life.
Learning to Choose Herself
Kimberly describes her background of abandonment and abuse. She experienced abandonment from her parents and all forms of abuse. The ‘broken foundation’ started for her when her parents, who were in a physically abusive relationship, left her to be raised by her aunt without explanation. As an adult, she had to accept that it happened but she was not responsible for things adults did to her.
She explains how the abandonment and abuse she went through influenced her experience with relationships in adulthood. She always put other people first and focused on what she could offer others, not vice-versa. Eventually, she learned, “I had to choose me and I had to choose my healing.” From there, she began to break the cycle.
Breaking Generational Cycles
Kimberly says that the process of learning love was hard and tiring. As an African American woman, she wasn’t encouraged to embrace therapy for her mental health. She had a moment when, in a library, she asked God what direction to go, and looked up and saw a sign for a therapist. She called the number and broke the generational taboo in order to start her healing process.
Several years later, Kimberly is single and the mother of 4 daughters and a grandmother. She uses the life lessons she’s learned to live in the moment and choose herself. By being true to herself and continuing to push through challenges, she was able to teach her children a better way and is proud to see that they have all had an easier journey.
Courageous Enough to Choose You
Kimberly shares that whenever she told others her life story, she was always met with the response, “That sounds like a book.” She was receiving the signs to share her story but had to build the courage to go all the way back into her trauma to record it. She soon took the initiative, and states, “You don’t have to accept or be defined by your past.” Why wouldn't she share her story and try to help someone else?
Kimberly’s memoir lays out the foundations of her life and the genuine truth of the lessons she’s learned. She hopes that readers will see how she found her voice and be able to do the same. “Through God, nothing’s impossible, but we have to go through the process." Kimberly hopes listeners feel empowered and courageous enough to put themselves first and begin their healing.
Listen in to learn about Kimberly’s journey with forgiveness, how she helps her community, and how to find resources and mentoring on her website.
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Today I’m talking with Donna Wayles, a wife, mother, and abuse survivor who shares her story of escaping domestic abuse with God’s love and grace. She’s the author of “I'll Pray for You: A Christian Woman's Guide to Surviving Domestic Violence” and a self-described domestic violence subject expert. Today, she is here to speak loud about being a thriver after domestic abuse and finding life and hope after abuse.
Donna met her abuser through a church picnic when she was in her early 20s. She describes that the pressure from the church encouraged her to get married early and young, within 7 months of meeting her then-husband. Though she had been sensitive to the physical abuse he began to demonstrate, she interpreted his controlling behaviors as ‘protectiveness’ and being a sign of how much he loved her.
As the abuse escalated, however, Donna began reaching out to different avenues for support. Another wife from church dismissed her concerns about her husband’s possessiveness and talking with her pastor only put her in more danger after the pastor talked with Donna’s husband privately. One night after a conference, Donna was calling a friend for help when her abuser physically threw her out of the house with her 16-month-old daughter and the clothes on her back.
Donna, at the time, struggled to understand what she had done wrong, having followed the teachings of her family and her faith. The first line in her book, “How did my life get to be like this?” reflected this. However, she had to eventually learn—through counseling and other modalities—that the abuse she had undergone was not a reflection of herself but of her abuser. Realizing this was the beginning of her healing journey.
One night, while pondering what to make for dinner, Donna realized that she could eat whatever she wanted. She could wear and do whatever she wanted as an individual without worrying about what he wanted. She felt like a second life had just dawned on her and she was determined to live that life. She is now remarried and her daughter, 18, is thriving in school studying graphic art.
Donna’s book, “I’ll Pray For You,” was inspired by her domestic violence victim advocate who told her, “The best revenge to your abuser is living well.” Donna published her own story as a way to be her best self and also do for others what wasn’t done for her. She describes her process with forgiveness as not a one-time decision, but a journey. She’s learned that bitterness won’t serve her and has found peace in using her experience to help others.
“Resilience is stubbornness, persistence, tenacity,” Donna says. Being determined to live her own life helped pull her out of those dark times. As someone raised to help others, she wishes she could have told her past self to be patient and to put herself first before trying to give herself away to others. She hopes readers of her book and listeners know that leaving an abusive situation is not the end and, in fact, there is something much better on the other side.
Listen in to learn more about what modalities Donna used in her healing journey, what makes her feel empowered, and her experience with self-esteem and abuse.
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Today I’m talking with Debbie Terry, an author, speaker, and survivor of domestic abuse. She’s the host and owner of the Restoration Warrior Women’s Conference where she gathers women from all walks of life to share their stories and faith and help others overcome their obstacles. Today, she’s here to speak loud about her new book and offer support for other survivors who have yet to step out from their situations.
Speaking Up After Trauma
Debbie explains that she wasn’t aware of the extent of her own abuse because of the love she had for her husband at the time. After a nasty divorce and the separation from her children, her journey in healing began. She explains that factors such as pride and shame encouraged her to stay in her situation but ultimately had to accept that the other individual wasn’t going to change.
Debbie is now remarried to the love of her life, but she describes that she at first pushed him away because she wasn’t used to the level of love and treatment he was giving her. The scars and layers from her abuse ran deep and she had to go back, with God’s help, and heal them one at a time. As her husband says, she had to “let it go like water off a duck’s back.” She did this by listening to that small inner voice and respecting it as well as her own judgment.
How to Choose Forgiveness
Debbie says that her true healing began when she realized that she couldn’t control what others did. Their actions were not a reflection of her but of themselves. Forgiveness is the biggest piece of healing, in her opinion. When you’re able to forgive a person that hurt you, you’re giving yourself freedom.
A friend told Debbie, “You can either be bitter or you can be better,” and she knew that she wanted the latter, so she chose forgiveness for her abuser rather than holding resentment. She instructs listeners to forgive and then stop revisiting and move forward. Like pruning a rose, letting go of those wilted pieces make room for new growth.
Sharing Her Story
Debbie’s latest book is called “When Love Wasn’t Enough: Because I Loved Him.” Her book was published in March, but she has been working on it (with God’s guidance, she says) for several years. She says that God encouraged her to write the story, and though she initially ignored the call, writing it was a healing process for her.
Debbie prioritizes helping and connecting with others and hopes that the readers of her book feel seen and know they aren’t alone. She started her women’s conference for similar reasons, which is going on its 5th year and shares the details on her website. Debbie hopes listeners feel encouraged to pray and discover what their next steps are in starting a new journey after trauma and abuse.
Listen in to hear more about the effects of alienation in divorce and families, finding the right person, and what future plans Debbie has for the next five years.
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Today I’m talking with Amy Stein, an herbalist, energy medicine educator, and trauma-informed breathwork facilitator. Her mission is to educate and empower the highly empathetic so that they can live in harmony with their body and their environment by working with Mother Nature’s intelligence rather than against it. Today she’s here to speak loud about choosing what is best for our bodies and the intersections of the body’s intelligence and empathy.
Treating the Root Cause
Amy shares that throughout her life she often felt misunderstood and not honored when it came to her body. Symptoms such as migraines and blackouts were dismissed or she was told, “Your body is broken, take this pill.” These wounds and limiting beliefs followed her into adulthood as the ailments only increased.
Her journey began while teaching geriatric patients coping skills such as meditation as an alternative to medication. However, Amy didn’t fully understand the concepts she was teaching and decided to educate and empower herself. The body isn’t a car; you can’t just treat the symptoms, but must tackle the root cause. It’s a life-long journey, Amy explains, but she says that you won’t be led astray if you trust your intuition.
The Wisdom of Plant Medicine
Amy’s intuition guided her to plant medicine and she began learning about the different affinities plants have to support her body. She regularly forages and utilizes the innate intelligence of Mother Nature. The earth is resilient and adapting, and Amy has found power in communing with nature and taking advantage of that symbiotic relationship.
The hardest part about plant medicine, Amy says, is learning what works best for you. However, it’s very easy to get started. She cautions listeners to be mindful of what and where they’re picking but even plants in your city or backyard can be beneficial. Herbs such as thyme, lemon balm, and lavender also have great healing properties and can be easily grown indoors.
Getting into the Body with Breathwork
Amy explains that breathwork is a great and easy way to reconnect with the body. Some people find it more accessible than meditation because it invites thoughts and feelings to be processed and released. You don’t need to go into breathwork with an agenda; the body has its own agenda while the mind is quiet.
Amy offers breathwork for others through coaching and weekly group sessions. She believes that breathwork can be transformative and easy and it’s the modality that has helped her the most in her healing journey. Through her services, she teaches others to show up for themselves and hopes that listeners know that they have the answers within. They are not broken and are encouraged to choose what’s best for them and their bodies.
Listen in to learn about spiritual energy and intuition, homeopathy, and how to start foraging in your own backyard.
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Today I’m talking with Greg Wieting, a healer and entrepreneur who helps others heal from anxiety, depression, trauma, and chronic pain with his unique blend of trauma neuroscience, energy medicine, and somatic and mindfulness practice. He developed this framework, Prisma, during his own healing journey and is here to speak loud about working with pain in a significant way.
Rising Above Chronic Pain
What Greg shares with clients is what he’s learned from his own 25 years of healing. He has dealt with muscular-skeletor difficulties his entire life but didn’t seek healing until finding reiki work after college. That moment was something he never realized he had been looking for and it sent him on a journey to discover more healing modalities for himself and others.
Greg says that his early experiences taught him, “I’m not my pain.” Our lives are often organized around pain or trauma, but he realized that this didn’t have to be the case. After 8 months in India, he studied bodytalk, yoga, and ayurveda, which led him to teaching trauma-informed healing at a friend’s school.
Somatic Healing Practices
Greg explains that ‘working somatically’ is getting in touch with the body’s experience and making contact with the subconscious that’s stored in the body. Harboring pain and trauma can stop the ability to feel ourselves and in turn lose presence and agency. Developing a somatic relationship with our body helps us know who we are.
Greg describes the process of tuning back in with the body as metabolizing trauma as you gradually digest feelings that were at one point too much to touch. Reiki is one of the practices that broadens the window of tolerance in the body, he explains, giving us the capacity to thaw out and process.
Accessing Deeper Healing
Part of learning how to heal the nervous system is learning how to develop psychological safety, Greg says. His advice for starting is to locate a safety resource to act as a foundational baseline, such as a comforting memory. Accessing a safe memory and replaying it through all five senses allows the brain to develop a new baseline.
Neuroplasticity is an important part of Greg’s teachings. By freeing up space in the brain by setting a new, safer baseline, clients and students are able to imagine new possibilities. “Imagination creates the structure of our brain.” He adds that healing is a continuous journey and that he hopes listeners don’t do it alone, as he believes that deeper healing happens relationally.
Listen in to learn Greg’s tips for individual healing, meditation, and his online course and community.
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Today I’m talking with Jimmy Clare, a motivational speaker, autism advocate, and author. He’s the founder of ‘Crazy Fitness Guy’ and became a speaker after overcoming his own personal struggles in life. He had been told he wouldn’t be able to walk without braces, bullied, and undergone 9 surgeries, including 3 in one day. Today, he is here to speak loud about proving naysayers wrong.
Growing Up With Autism
Having autism affected Jimmy in many aspects of life. He didn’t reach many milestones as a kid, though he doesn’t like the idea of ‘milestones’ as they imply that he was behind in some way. When he was a child, a friend of his mother’s told her, “Don’t worry about Jimmy not talking at the moment because later in life he’ll never shut up.” In a way he was right, as Jimmy is now a professional speaker.
Many of Jimmy’s struggles stemmed from school. Bullying was rampant and there was less understanding and acceptance for autism at the time. He recalls not being supported or understood by the school district, which often exacerbated situations. He’s thankful that there is more awareness and resources for autism now than there was then because of the shortcomings of his school and community in supporting him.
Finding His Path in Life
As a child, Jimmy didn’t understand why he was being bullied. He recounts the instances of bullying starting out small and escalating. He would be asked questions that other kids knew he wouldn’t be able to answer, as someone in special education, and the humiliation and rejection continued. Students even risked paralyzing him when they would hit him on the back of the neck because of his spinal stenosis.
Jimmy’s physical condition also brought its own challenges, though many of which he’s been able to adapt to. Despite what doctors thought, he never needed braces or crutches. He’s able to drive and is pursuing his associate’s degree in college. Despite his unique challenges, Jimmy has been adamant in proving others wrong.
Spreading His Story
Jimmy started producing content through his ‘Crazy Fitness Guy’ website, and later created a podcast in order to produce something new. The podcast has been up for 2 years. He has also dabbled in Zoom and is now live-streaming. He loves to speak and has appeared on more than 130 podcast episodes. When faced with challenges in business, Jimmy has learned not to throw things out the window, but to continue trying something new in order to find the right balance.
On his podcast, Jimmy talks about fitness, nutrition, self-help and more, specifically for autistic people. He’s had amazing guests such as authors, motivational speakers, and nutritionists. The joy of hearing that his content has helped other people has kept him going, and he’s reached many goals of his own, such as being featured in a magazine.
Jimmy hopes that listeners know that autism is not a disease and it does not have to be cured—and that labels do not define who you are. He recommends resources such as the Autism Society, which provides reliable education and information.
Listen in to learn more about Jimmy’s experience with technology and media studies, how he balances multiple forms of content creation, and his future plans.
Today I’m talking with Sean Singleton, a good friend of mine for over 15 years. He is an entrepreneur and automotive shop owner from Starboys Auto, who is here to share more of his story in his first ever podcast experience. Today, he’ll be speaking loud about overcoming your situation, no matter what it is, and creating your own life regardless of the hand you were dealt.
Life Without Stability
When Sean was eight, his parents went through a divorce, which was when he learned that his father was not actually his father, but his stepdad. The trauma of that realization and the splitting up of his family pushed Sean into a rebellious era, where his built-up anger and resentment lacked guidance and support. With free reign and no discipline, he was often causing trouble, such as vandalism, theft, breaking into cars, and later drugs.
The bad choices continued to escalate from junior high and into high school. Sean continued breaking into cars and abusing harder drugs, such as meth, and was on what he called a ‘path to destruction.’ He sold LSD and acid in 10th grade and was at the time one of the biggest dealers in the state. Many of the people he surrounded himself with were older, negative influences who contributed to the bad environment he found himself in. What Sean says hurts the most is the impact he had on others. He was always a leader figure among peers and would often suck other people into the same circles that he was in.
Receiving a Wakeup Call
Sean had a few positive experiences through Job Corps while in high school, but by the time he graduated he still hadn’t fully separated himself from the bad influences in his life. At 19 and 18, he and his girlfriend were expecting their first child, but Sean wasn’t done getting in trouble. He was working as a handyman and doing road repair on the side, and after biting off more than he could chew, he was charged with 7 felonies that included burglary and identity theft.
Sean was ultimately charged with 2 of the 7 original felonies, and spent 45 days in jail. Right before going to jail, his baby was born. He recounts the turning point in his life being when his girlfriend would bring his child to visit him while in jail. He knew how difficult it had been for him to grow up without a dad, and he didn’t want that for his own child. The experience changed him and he still counts his blessings everyday as an adult, knowing that he could have been far less lucky and ended up on a much different path in life.
Changing Your Environment
Sean believes that we are all a product of our environment. As a kid, he had no one to point him in the right direction, but having his own kid made him step up and change that. He says that having his daughter saved his life, as he would have continued on the same reckless path he was on before. He is grateful for his past as it has allowed him to become the person he is today, which includes being a great dad.
Some people don’t have the same wakeup call that Sean did, or don’t answer it. But anyone, at any point, can decide that they want to be different. “If you don’t like your environment, change it.” He believes that your mess is your message. People don’t always like to talk about their trauma or mistakes, but you never know how sharing your story might positively affect someone else. He hopes that listeners know that whatever their environment is, it doesn’t have to be their story. You can rewrite your story at any day if you take the action to.
Listen in to learn more about Sean’s experiences in the Job Corps, leadership and entrepreneurship, and his advice for parents tuning in.
Today I’m talking with Sara Im, who, after surviving a mass genocide in Cambodia that claimed 2 million lives, is a speaker and author of “How I Survived the Killing Fields.” She is a member of the Women’s Speaker Association and speaks to inspire listeners to thrive from pain to purpose, from corporate events to churches to schools. Today, she’s here to speak loud about never giving up on anything in life.
Sara was born and raised in Cambodia, and was attending college at 21 when a military takeover in her country forced her out of the city and into the countryside to work in a labor camp. She experienced extreme exhaustion, sickness, and punishment for 4 years while forced to work in the rice fields. Often malnourished, Sara turned to prayer in her darkest moments, and clung to hope of seeing her family again.
After four years, Sara recalls hearing noise in the distance that could have been gunfire or explosions. Though they didn’t know what was happening, the laborers—once 1000, and now around 300 people—were moved out of the camp and towards the jungle. Sara knew she had to do something drastic, so she took the chance and escaped with 3 friends. They ran into the jungle and walked for weeks back to Sara’s hometown, where she was eventually reunited with her family after seeing the devastation that had come to her home.
After Cambodia was liberated, Sara recuperated for a year at home. She had no college to go back to, as most professors and educated people had been killed. After that year, her mother told her that she would have a better future in another country, and encouraged her to escape once more. Sara crossed the border from Cambodia to Thailand and found a refugee camp run by the UN.
After registering, she searched for her single relative in the U.S. who would be able to help her get into the country—bringing her to Connecticut. Her relative was transferred before Sara ever arrived, but she was grateful for the church people who helped her settle, find a place to live, and learn English during the difficult transition. Soon, she was on her own two feet and able to bring her family to the U.S., as well.
Sara was encouraged by many people to write a book after hearing her story. Once, during speaking, one woman in her group came to her crying, sharing with Sara that she had lost her teenaged son to suicide. Sara was shocked, having naively thought that all people in the U.S. would be happier, and thought that if she could write her story, she could help change people’s minds about taking their lives.
After publishing her book, Sara received many testimonials about how reading it changed people’s lives. “It’s all worth it,” she says, reflecting on the change her book has done for people. “Struggling four years in the rice field, now I can save somebody’s life.” Beyond writing, she still continues as a professional speaker. Sara hopes listeners know to always H.O.P.E.: Have Only Positive Expectations. Things always change.
Listen in to learn more about Sara’s experience with writing and publishing, her religious awakening, and what her plans for the next 5 years are.
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Today I’m talking with Seph Dietlin, a psychic and hypnotherapist, who, after experiencing a spiritual awakening in 2002, has set out to help others create their own reality and experience unity. He is constantly downloading and sharing knowledge through his intuitive online course, content, his podcast “Talk to My Angels” and more. Today, Seph is here to speak loud about how to utilize your trauma to become a conscious creator of your own reality.
Soul Contracts and Agreements
Seph explains that everybody has the ability to tune in to a higher consciousness and unlock their intuition. It is an amazing tool that can be unlocked easily, even after we are taught to shut it down as we grow up. Seph describes this process as remembering something we already knew, which will allow the skill to unravel and unfold on its own time.
Seph also talks about soul contracts and agreements that we make before coming into this world. This could be spouses we’ll meet or children that we’ll bring into the world as well as hardships that we agree to go through in life before being born in order to meet our higher mission. This way of thinking gives power back to us, in Seph’s opinion, and in his work in hypnotherapy he utilizes this concept when working with patients who are exploring their own soul agreements.
Creativity and Higher Consciousness
Seph’s advice for people wanting to connect with a higher self is to recognize that we are often in that higher brainwave state. ‘The flow,’ ‘the zone,’ and many other words describe what Seph is referring to. Creativity is an amazing portal: cooking, painting, or creating in any way is a great access point for higher state awareness, and from there that higher conscious state can be leveraged for healing.
Seph also instructs listeners to pay attention to their imagination. Imagination is a portal through which our higher consciousness speaks to us. This can include dreams, ideas we visualize, and manifestation. Clairvoyance is simply allowing yourself to interpret what comes into the mind.
Learning On Earth School
Events that happened—and are still happening—in 2020 have moved humanity towards an expanded, creative state, in Seph’s opinion. Collective experience and collective trauma pushes humanity towards greater understanding of ourselves and the universe. On ‘earth school,’ what we are all learning is how to create our own reality. These skills can be honed with practices such as paradigm shifting, numerology and synchronicity.
Meditation is a great place to start for those who want to channel and tap into a higher state. Seph explains that to enter the state, rather than trying to force it, instead remember the state of flow that comes from doing something creative or even just stepping into that shower. We are always expanding from challenges and learning from them, and every hardship is an opportunity for growth.
Listen in to learn more of Seph’s beginnings in hypnotherapy and intuition, the history of hypnotherapy, 3d and 5d living and astral traveling.
Today I’m talking with Lion Goodman, who, after a near-death experience at 26, has spent 5 decades researching the nature of consciousness, spirituality, and healing. He has instructed more than 500 healers, therapists, and coaches around the world in trauma-informed therapeutic coaching. His teaching methods have been vetted by the International Coaching Federation and the Association for Coaching. Today he is speaking loud about the role of beliefs in our life and the infrastructure of the human mind.
Brushing Close to Death
Lion graduated with a degree in Consciousness Studies but ended up as a traveling salesman in order to make money. On one trip, he had stopped to help a man whose car had broken down in the middle of the Mojave Desert. After 3 days of gaining each other’s trust, the man attempted to kill Lion and shot him in the head.
After many hours, Lion was able to talk to and understand the man, and they came to an agreement: the man would not kill him and Lion would not turn him in. He later went to the hospital alone, where he was told that he was very lucky to have survived—which he says was not luck, but his being blessed. He had been ready to accept death but now wanted to grow and teach from this experience.
The Discovery of Self
When Lion went through his near-death experience, he recognized that he was not simply his physical body. There was a him that was not his body, and as he says, most people who have been in a near death experience are not afraid of death, knowing that there is something on the other side.
When people ask the question of ‘Who am I?’ Lion explains how he went about answering that question for himself. As a kid he read and learned as much as possible, and approached his studies as an exploration of who he was. He attended over 100 spirituality workshops and training as an adult. Beliefs are the core of the mind, he says, and finding out who you are is a discovery of the core self beneath those layers of belief. Experience is the best way of informing yourself of who you are.
Healing Past Traumas
Negative experiences like a broken arm, Lion says. Physical wounds can heal and become stronger as they scar, but injuries of the mind are often not given the chance to heal as the brain forces them down and away. Healing from trauma or bad experiences is simply processing those events in a safe way. But the beliefs we develop from trauma are often what damages us the most, not the trauma itself.
Lion explains that we can also carry trauma not just from our own pasts, but from generations before us and potentially even past lives. The environment of friends, family, and media can all be traumatizing. Humans are constantly trying to float above the pool of trauma of our culture, which can include things we’ve never experienced personally, such as slavey and native genocide. Lion says that we have to start with ourselves as an act of “clearing this on behalf of previous generations.”
Listen in to learn more about Lion’s books and his multi-dimensionality practices, as well as his approach to rapid, deep-belief healing.
Today I’m talking with Victoria Cuore, an advocate, speaker, best-selling author and CEO of A Contagious Smile. She is a survivor of domestic abuse and has undergone over 100 operations as a result of the struggles she overcame. Today, she’s here to speak loud about fighting for yourself and acknowledging that everyone can get lost in the journey of life.
Recovering From Domestic Violence
Victoria always knew that she wanted to be a wife and a mother, which was the card that her abuser played in order to drive her into a toxic situation. After pushing her to get married, the abuser began physically assaulting Victoria once she was pregnant. Even as the abuse escalated, he continued to deny and gaslight her, to the point that Victoria even doubted herself.
Victoria underwent dozens of surgeries and operations and is still affected by a history of abuse. At one point while in the ICU, she was told that she had a 2% chance of making it through the night. Then her daughter was born early, and Victoria found the strength to fight for her child. She soon received a restraining order on her abuser and terminated all parental rights.
Letting Go of Hatred After Abuse
Much of Victoria’s healing process has stemmed from her daughter. She describes her daughter as a ray of light who is an advocate for other special needs peers. Victoria was encouraged to become an advocate both for those with special needs and abuse survivors and stopping the cycle of abuse with herself and her daughter.
Victoria still has ongoing surgeries that are a direct effect of her abuse. Some of the injuries were exacerbated by her refusing medical treatment in favor of treating her daughter’s needs first. Despite all of this, she says she has forgiven her abuser and prays for him to this day. Victoria explains that allowing an abuser to hold place in your heart through hatred continues to give them power over your life. Letting go of hatred and forgiving opens up the heart for more love.
Spreading Light and Positivity
“Every smile has a story,” Victoria says, “and we want to share yours.” This is the goal of her company, A Contagious Smile. She seeks to share light, inspiration, and positivity. A smile is always contagious no matter what it looks like. Who doesn’t want to smile? Victoria’s website shares resources for those with special needs and people suffering from domestic violence. She also uses her platforms to provide support groups, fundraises, life skill classes, and more.
Victoria believes in a world that’s full of love, laughter, and life. She encourages listeners to not carry negativity and hate in their heart when they could be carrying love in that place, and she hopes that those tuning in know that they are worth fighting for.
Listen in to learn more about Victoria’s resources for domestic violence survivors, podcasts for teens and adults, and her work breeding emotional support and service animals.
Today I’m talking with Debby Kruszewski, a coach, consultant, and author of “Soul Meets Body: Six Degrees of You” and several other books. After being ‘dream crushed’ by corporate America, Debby decided to listen to her inner voice, leave the corporate world, and begin writing. Today she’s here to speak loud about self worth, respect, and integrity.
Being Dream Crushed
As a woman in an executive position in corporate America, Debby had dealt with more than her fair share of sexism in the workplace. One instance stands out to her, when a recruiter belittled and gaslit her about being a woman in her job position. At a certain point, Debby had to stop and reflect. Who she was was more important than a job. So, she left the corporate world, and began to write.
Debby never thought about becoming a writer before, but when she left her job, she heard a voice telling her, “Leave, and I’ll take care of it.” She listened, and the storylines began pouring out. She fell in love with the characters who were mirroring her own life and experiences and wanted to share those moments and lessons with others.
Choosing Self Respect
“How many situations is it easier to take the hit for the greater good?” Debby asks. When faced with uncomfortable, disrespectful, or belittling behavior, oftentimes we think it’s better to suck it up and keep the peace. However, she explains that there is a difference between being a nice person—and being abused. Debby encourages listeners to leave the situations in which you’re treated this way and find something better, as she did.
Finding the courage to stand up to people treating you wrongly is not an overnight process, Debby explains. Recognition, self-healing, and forgiveness are the ‘first draft’ — from there, it’s a long path, but incredibly worth it. Acknowledging the situations where, how, and why you were being treated wrongly allows you to unveil what’s holding you back. Forgiving yourself for the things you weren’t able to do at the time will release the weight you’re holding onto from those situations, and let you identify what you want, so that you can start building that path to your dreams.
Rising Above Negativity
Much of Debby’s teachings revolve around self-confidence and self-worth. One little step at a time, she believes that anyone can rise above and overcome the things that are putting them down. Even in a powerless phase, you have the autonomy to say goodbye to negativity and release the things you couldn’ control. Inner strength and confidence comes out of refusing to let negativity dictate your life.
Debby hopes that listeners know that everyone deserves to live a wonderful life and that this conversation helps people know that they are all capable of getting out of situations that no longer serve them.
Listen in to learn more about Debby’s inspirational blog, how her books offer a look at truth and tragedy, and her exclusive offer for Speak Loud Podcast listeners.
Today I’m talking with Mandy Capehart, author, speaker, and certified grief and life coach. She’s the founder of the restorative grief project, an online resource for grievers looking for growth and healing. Today, she’s here to speak loud about grief literacy, and the language needed to navigate grief for ourselves and others.
The Unalignment of Grief
Mandy recounts having lost someone to death almost every year of her life. While she was grieving almost constantly, she says that she wasn’t doing so in a good way. She coped with humor and by minimizing herself to service others. The first eye opener came in high school, when her senior class shared a loss of another classmate and Mandy began to realize that not all of the methods used to move through grief were effective.
In 2016, Mandy’s mother died 4 months after being diagnosed with cancer. Mandy had just had a baby and had planned on her mother being with her to help take care of her grandchild. After taking the time needed to process, Mandy began exploring what she recognized as the unalignment of thoughts, emotions, body, and spirit when someone is grieving. Since then, she’s been speaking publicly and educating herself and others.
Be Heard, Known, and Loved
Part of Mandy’s goal is teaching people how to be heard—and how to listen to others. Bearing witness, as she explains it, is more than just holding space for someone. It’s experiencing the honest truth of what they’re going through without judgment or advice on how to ‘fix’ a situation.
For someone going through grief, Mandy says it’s important to know yourself and your support group. Who would you call if you need an ear or a hug and who would you call if you need someone to organize your linen closet? It’s okay to be specific. The same goes for supporters. If there’s something that you can offer, let your friend know. Trauma survivors know how tough they are. Sometimes they need the space to be heard, known, and loved rather than having someone try to fix the situation.
Grieving Outside of Church
When Mandy’s mother died, Mandy had been leading a worship at church. After that loss, she didn’t know how to work through her feelings within the faith. Many people within the faith minimized her pain by supporting a religious agenda or their own beliefs. She stepped down as a worship leader, knowing she couldn’t lead herself, let alone others.
Mandy’s book came from this time of reflection and exploration of what faith means in this new world. She realized that the church did not know how to support her and also noticed that it wasn’t able to support people through the pandemic. Her book offers a guide for people within the church realms to move past scriptures and lean into the practical element with daily prompts and quotes and practical resources to revisit whenever needed.
Listen in to learn more about the Restorative Grief Project, the cyclical nature of grief, and how to start talking about grief in your life.
Today I’m talking with Donna Tashijan, a life mastery coach and founder of the Vibrant Living International nonprofit. Donna specializes in turning baggage into luggage, accelerating transformations for people across the globe. She’s the author of 4 books and is known for having a “knack for turning fear into excitement” through speaking and coaching.
Finding Support Early
At 14, Donna was assaulted and became pregnant, giving birth to her first child by 15. The judgment of teenage pregnancy caused feelings of shame, resentment, and anger. She developed a fear of failing as a mother before even starting her own life and had to learn to rise above.
For someone who might be in a similar situation, Donna says that she wishes she had spoken to herself differently. Self-talk can be an important tool for healing. She also encourages people to look for support, and that there is more help available than you might think.
Helping Women’s Transformations
The focus of Donna’s nonprofit, Vibrant Living International, is “to help people to rise above the pain and disappointment that life can bring so that they can live the life of their dreams with confidence and ease.” Vibrant Living was established 10 years ago when Donna was considering what she could do that would both support her and
Donna has been a life coach for more than 25 years, but has always been a supportive ally for friends in need. Her oldest daughter has told her that for as long as she could remember, “women have been on the couch crying and you were helping them.” Through Vibrant Living International, her podcast, and 4 books, Donna has shared that advice and care with thousands.
Turning Baggage Into Luggage
As a life coach, Donna has developed the phrase, ‘turning baggage into luggage.’ ‘Baggage-thinking’ includes thoughts and feelings of low self-esteem, vengeance, resentment, negative self-talk, and so on. These are legitimate and valid feelings, Donna says, but luggage-thinking is what brings about change.
‘Luggage-thinking’ happens when someone begins to see their past or trauma not as their entire life story, but as a single chapter, page, or even paragraph. At 15, Donna felt like what had happened to her was the end of the world, but now she stresses the importance of looking for the gifts in the pain. How will this help me grow, now? It’s a gift wrapped in sandpaper, Donna says, not a pretty bow.
Listen in to learn Donna’s 4 steps for transformation, what modalities she uses for healing, and her future plans for herself and her business.
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Today I’m talking with Dr. Debi Silber, founder of the Post-Betrayal Transformation Institute, holistic psychologist, and personal development expert. She’s a best-selling author and award-winning speaker, appearing on Fox, CBS, and TedEx, and is dedicated to helping people heal from past betrayals.
Learning the Effects of Betrayal
Dr. Silber has been in the business for 30 years, starting with a focus on health and personal development. After a series of betrayals, she decided to return to school for her Ph.D., knowing that something had to change. Her degree was in Transpersonal Psychology, in which she did a study on betrayal and what it does physically and emotionally.
Dr. Silber has made and confirmed three discoveries: betrayal feels different than other traumas, such as disease and death; a collection of common symptoms make up what is now post-betrayal syndrome; and, by healing the betrayal entirely, you can come out the other side an entirely changed person.
The Stages of Betrayal
In the Post-Betrayal Transformation Institute, Dr. Silber and her certified coaches help clients identify and move through the stages of betrayal. Most people get stuck in Stage 3, where survival instincts take over after the build-up and the trauma itself. Small self benefits of having sympathy or someone to blame are often what keep people in this stage.
Stage 4 involves willingly moving on and finding a new normal. This, Dr. Silber explains, already begins to turn down the stress response and mitigate the damage done by Stage 3. Then, in Stage 5, the transformative rebirth happens as you’re finally able to see more clearly and feel grounded.
The Transformation of Overcoming Betrayal
Dr. Silber wants listeners to know that betrayal trauma can be overcome. “Just because this has been your experience,” she says, “doesn’t mean it has to be your sentence.” Betrayal is just one chapter in someone’s entire life story.
Dr. Silber describes how a completely new person emerges from Stage 5, after fully healing and embracing their new narrative. She’s seen new levels of health and relationships in the people who have passed through her institute. The beauty of betrayal, she believes, is in that transformation.
Listen in to learn more about the effects of betrayal, the different healing processes after betrayal, and how to know if you have post-betrayal syndrome.
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Today I’m talking with Sivan Hong, author and illustrator of the “Super Fun Days Books” series. Her work focuses on inspiring neurodiverse children in overcoming challenges with perseverance and bravery. Sivan is here to speak loud about the power and benefits of neurodiversity and how cool it is to be different.
Supporting Kids with Neurodivergence
Sivan believes that books are incredibly powerful tools in helping someone feel that they’re not alone. The structure of her books was based on social stories that are often used in special education, taking the educational framework and bringing it home for families. Sivan’s first book was published three years ago, based on a true story she shared with her oldest son.
Sivan doesn’t want her children to grow up with the challenges that her generation did when it came to neurodivergence. Rather than seeing their struggles as a failure of their ability, she wants kids now to know that “Different is OK,” and know that they have the support they need.
Identifying Neurodivergence Early
Sivan’s first two books featured her two sons, but her last two have had female characters. This was intentional, she explains, as girls are identified with ADHD much later in life than boys—in their middle age as opposed to a boy in second grade. Girls of color have the lowest level of diagnosis. Sivan hopes to help the underserved population of neurodivergent women by offering representation through her books.
Rates of ADHD in adults have also been going up, Sivan explains, because of increased diagnoses in children. This was how she identified her own neurodivergence, seeking a diagnosis after seeing similarities between herself and her kids. Sivan believes the best way to help is to share the message with kids when they’re young so that they can bring confidence and self-understanding into their adult lives.
Functioning With Neurodivergence
Life with neurodivergence is all about finding what works. Sivan shares that audiobooks opened up the world of literature for her after struggling with reading and spelling in school. As an adult, she’s developed her own unique structure that allows her to function day-to-day.
Neurodivergence manifests itself in a spectrum and can look different from person to person. Sivan believes that a diagnosis alone can help with someone’s mental health: understanding and having a name for the way your brain works can give a sense of peace and clarity. She hopes that listeners know that there is power in being neurodiverse and that it is okay to be different.
Listen in to hear the story behind Sivan’s first book, her upcoming projects, and where to seek out a medical diagnosis for neurodivergence.
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Today I’m talking with Anissa Hudak, a registered yoga trainer who works with PTSD, trauma, and the military. She volunteers with soldiers to provide yoga and other therapies, she founded the Trauma Healing Yoga Therapy program, which uses science-based yoga and holistic techniques to treat PTSD and trauma.
Discovering Yoga-Based Therapy
Anissa found her current calling when she started taking yoga teacher training classes. At first, she wanted to have the skills for her own journey, but after the class ended found opportunities opened up for her. She loved that this new profession felt like sharing a gift rather than teaching.
After taking classes geared towards PTSD survivors and veterans, Anissa saw that she had an opportunity to take these gifts back to her community. As the daughter of a Vietnam veteran and the wife of an active duty combatant, she feels a special connection to those in the military and their families. From there, her journey went from one of self-discovery to helping others recover.
What Does PTSD Look Like?
PTSD presents in many different ways, which can make diagnosing it difficult. Anxiety, depression, and troubles with sleep are more recognizable symptoms. But sensitivity to light and trouble hearing can also be signs of PTSD, Anissa explains, since PTSD is an inflammatory illness.
Many factors make up PTSD before it happens, as well. The stress levels of a person before a traumatic incident, their childhood, and any pre-existing mental illnesses can determine why one person may return from an event traumatized while another doesn’t. Anissa explains that PTSD is the body saying, “I need a reset” in the central nervous system. PTSD starts in the body and manifests as a mental health issue.
How Does Yoga Help PTSD?
Anissa stays away from saying PTSD can be ‘cured,’ but does believe that it can be healed. Yoga allows practitioners to stay in the moment, which is helpful when facing PTSD triggers that try to take you back to the past. Anissa’s practice utilizes yoga to help reset the central nervous system. The more someone does it, the longer they’re able to stay in the upper echelon of their brain, rather than in the fight-or-flight response.
Anissa specifically curates her practices for people with PTSD. Slowing down can be triggering for some people, which is why Anissa’s classes are interactive and engaging. The body is allowed to move slower while the brain remains occupied. By sharing her practice, Anissa hopes that more people can start to understand what PTSD is, where it lives in the body, and how it can be treated.
Listen in for Anissa’s tips on meditation, the relationship between PTSD and memory, and how to find a yoga therapist for your own needs.
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Today I’m talking with Renaye Thornborrow, a child life coach whose worldwide movement helps bring life coach training to kids with a story-based curriculum. She has worked in the industry for more than 10 years, sharing her teachings with other coaches, educators, and counselors to help children soar in life.
Repurposing Coaching for Kids
Children’s mental health has recently been declared a national emergency by 3 pediatrician institutions, making Renaye’s work even more crucial. She’s worked as a child life coach since 2013, having been interested in personal development since graduating college. She became interested in applying those skills to children when she had kids of her own.
Life coaching is about giving support as a preventative measure. Renaye created her company and curriculum to help share skills with her own kids, and from there, the vision grew into helping others. She now has coaches in more than 30 countries, helping children develop skills such as confidence, positive self-talk, resiliency, and more.
Developing a Kids’ Coaching Curriculum
Renaye’s curriculum includes 27 different mindset skills that are taught through stories, games, and flexible coaching. When she had more and more people coming to her to learn more, she created her certification program to allow coaches, educators, and therapists to use her work in their practices.
The stories are often 5-8 minutes and typically for children between 6 and 12. These stories are designed to show children these different skills and, with the coach’s support, apply it to their own lives. For kids in elementary and middle school facing serious challenges for the first time, these skills are vital.
Teaching Kids Resilience
Renaye offers a book on positive self-talk on her website, where anyone can read and learn about the skill. Resiliency is another skill that the program focuses on, which is taught by learning to reframe the way we view experiences that happen to us. Renaye calls this, “Wearing your power goggles,” with kids. Even when something terrible happens, there’s a way to take something empowering from it.
To Renaye, “empowerment is when your power comes from inside.” Our most powerful tool is our mind and our thoughts shape everything in our world. Empowerment is learning how to create the lives we want. One of Renaye’s goals with her program is to help kids feel empowered so that they’re confident about tackling any challenge that comes their way.
Listen in to learn more about the tools Renaye’s program uses, how life coaching helps trauma, and some of her favorite stories of helping kids develop positive life skills.
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Today I’m talking with Rebecca Heidt, an artist, entrepreneur, and author of “Acceptance: The Beginning,” the first work of a trilogy that chronicles and teaches the journey of self-acceptance. She’s worked in management and finance but has always had a love for the arts. Rebecca is here to speak loud about how to remain your authentic self when surrounded by society’s boxes.
Growing Up LGBT
When Rebecca was growing up, she had no one to talk to about being LGBT. Her childhood was full of uncertainty and chaos as she explored her feelings. It wasn’t until college that she felt comfortable being open about her relationship with another woman, as she was still navigating homophobia and a lack of representation in her community.
While her family had their struggles with accepting her, Rebecca is in a much better place now, happily out and married. She explains, “The only way to benefit me was to be who I was.” She knows that being LGBT is not a lifestyle or a choice, but a part of one’s identity that deserves as much respect and acceptance as anyone else.
Spreading the Word of Acceptance
Rebecca's book, “Acceptance: The Beginning” came from a place of deep loss. During the pandemic, she lost four loved ones, and amongst the heartache and turmoil came growth and art. She felt she was receiving a message telling her that she could get through this and that she could help others do it, too. In writing down her thoughts and feelings, a book was formed.
Rebecca’s book—the first in a prospective trilogy—is a vehicle for sharing the messages she wants other people to hear. Things that she wanted to say to others or to herself but never had the chance to are communicated through the book’s characters. The first book, ‘Acceptance’, allows people to face the emotions they’ve shut down, while the second will help them face the trauma now that it’s been unlocked.
Art As Healing
Throughout her childhood, Rebecca was always drawn to art. When she lost her job as an adult during the pandemic, she rediscovered art as a hobby and a love. Art is healing, to Rebecca, and she loves that it’s able to bring others color and joy as well as herself.
With her art, she hopes to extend that extra bit of help and light to people who need it. Her purpose is to share a message of peace and positivity, knowing that we will be okay if we do it together.
Listen in to learn more about Rebecca’s books, her advice on self-acceptance and the journey, and what makes her feel empowered.
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Today I’m talking with D. Neil Elliott, author of “A Higher Road: Cleanse Your Consciousness to Transcend the Ego and Ascend Spiritually.” Despite appearing outwardly successful, Neil had his own challenges behind the scenes that led him to discover a high road to transform his life. His entire life view changed and now he desires to help others empower, transform, and bring peace, love, and joy into their lives.
Connecting Science and Spirituality
Neil read hundreds of books and attended countless self-help courses, never finding one that fulfilled his needs. As an engineer, spirituality and self-help books—while giving great processes—didn’t give him the key he needed to bridge the gap between science and spirituality.
Through a spiritual undertaking, Neil discovered the process necessary to understand the truth and connect to source. “When you change your beliefs, you change what you see,” Neil says. His understanding is that everything we see in the world is a reflection of our beliefs and that the electrical and magnetic impulses that make up our thoughts and feelings create a blueprint for the experiences we call into life.
Starting the Spiritual Journey
Neil’s book outlines the seven steps he took on his own spiritual journey: expand consciousness, unveil new truths, reflection, cleansing beliefs and thoughts, rebuilding consciousness, meditation, and repetition. The process explained in his book will take about a year and will radically transform your life, according to Neil.
“Every thought you think creates a like event you manifest in your life,” Neil explains. Understanding this is one of the key tools for transforming your life. His understanding of how the universe came to be and its mechanics, the creation of experience in our life, and the science-based understanding of it are all things that Neil learned.
Practicing Enlightenment Daily
When striving for enlightenment, Neil first recommends meditation. He meditates first thing in the morning as part of his daily ritual when his brain isn’t so busy with the external world. External factors often drive our thoughts and actions in life, but through meditation, you can learn to live ‘from the inside out’—allowing your inside voice to drive what you say and do.
Neil spent years listening to audiobooks in order to train his brain to take in auditory information, which he says has allowed him to focus while meditating. Along with these practices, he recommends cutting out anything that doesn’t align with the message of unconditional love, and not let fear motivate your journey to enlightenment. “No matter where you are, you can change your life,” he promises.
Listen in to learn more about the role of Ego in enlightenment, Neil’s golden aspirations, and the Great Awakening happening in our world today.
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Today I’m talking with Christine Malek, the founder and creator of “The SASSI Coach” program for women in or recovering from abusive situations. She is an advocate for women against domestic violence and uses a unique coaching approach to bring out the strength and light in every woman she works with. Her life mission is to help others “ruffle some feathers and blow some minds” as they identify and reach their goals.
Shining a Spotlight on Abuse
Christine experienced every abuse in the book. Her defining moment was in 2018 when her abuser shot her in the back of the head after an altercation. She remembers the night vividly and recalls her thoughts at the time the gun went off: “Fuck, I’m not dead,” and, “Oh, I’m not dead.” She was described as ‘lucky’ that her abuser must have tilted the gun to only graze her at the last moment, but Christine knows that this moment was her angels stepping in.
This was what forced Christine to admit that something had to change. The abuser wasn’t worth her life or freedom. Her guides had set her down a new path, one that meant shining a spotlight on the subject of abuse and those suffering in silence. She had to put her foot down—first for herself and then for others.
Following Your Own Path
Christine emphasizes the importance of having a plan when escaping an abusive situation. “I don’t care how lame the plan is,” she says. It’s more important to have one. 1 in 7 women never escape their abuse. The small steps—setting dollars or even coins aside, stashing go-bags with important items and records—are crucial in leaving an abusive situation.
Ironically, Christine’s journey as a coach was unplanned. But it was soon clear to her that this was her path in life. As a business consultant, she had clients tell her that she should be a coach. Eventually, she signed up for a virtual program, planning to use it for her consulting business, but during one session, the lightbulb went off. “Oh,” she thought, “this is what I’m supposed to be doing.” Now, it’s Christine’s goal to help everyone she can and end domestic violence.
Finding the SASSI Sisterhood
“SASSI” stands for “Strong, Assertive, Sexy, Smart, Independent.” Christine chose this to represent women as more than just “strong and independent,” as the phrase often goes. Through her programs and podcasts, she’s helped an innumerable amount of women by spreading the love and the word.
Part of that mission is attacking the stigma of women who are abused and the judgments they face when coming out with the truth. The key is communication: you have to tell someone. If not a family member or close friend, Christine recommends a church—any church—a police station, a school counselor, or a hotline. Just as those suffering abuse need to talk—those who they confide in need to listen.
Listen in to learn more about the SASSI Program’s ‘Seven Steps to SASSI,’ Christine’s eye-opening experience with her guides, and her future plans as an abuse advocate.
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Today I’m talking with Michael Thornhill, co-founder of Casa Galactica, an ayahuasca healing and evolutionary retreat based in Peru. He’s a traditionally-trained plant spirit healer and professional advocate for trauma-informed care. With Casa Galactica, Michael and his wife blend Eastern medicines with Western mindsets to transform years of suffering into an empowered state of mind.
Michael’s journey with plant medicine began with his journey in healing from addiction, trauma, and abuse. His struggle with substances began young and continued into his late 20s when he started to explore meditation and sound healing. From there, he was drawn to ayahuasca.
For Michael, ayahuasca was able to address the root cause of his addiction, alerting him to the fact that the life he lived was out of line with his deeper self. Following the medicine to Peru, Michael learned with indigenous teachers and found a deeper calling in guiding others to the same freedom and liberation he experienced. “There’s more to your life than just healing trauma,” Michael says. “It’s waiting for you.”
Ayahuasca refers to the ayahuasca vine and the leaves of the chacruna plant. The plant has a high concentration of DMT, while the vine acts as an MAO inhibitor. allowing for a deeper journey with the medicine. Journeys can last from 3-6 hours, in which the “veil of illusion dissolves,” allowing you to dive deeper, reframe repressed trauma, and heal past events.
Ayahuasca ceremonies are part of the national heritage of Peru, stemming from a long history of plant medicine wisdom. Ayahuasca is not only legal in Peru, but encouraged and protected as a form of healing. Other indigenous cultures throughout the world have lost their practices with plant medicine. Michael explains that ayahuasca is not a ‘drug,’ but a plant medicine, as it is something that helps you heal. Drugs are to escape. Plant medicines let you look closer,
Casa Galactica advocates for trauma-informed plant medicine journeys, sharing shamanic wisdom in a context that’s empowering and accessible for Western mindsets. Michael and his wife’s 10-day retreats consist of 4 ceremonies, which they found was enough time to get the most out of the plant’s healing. 10 days at Casa Galactica can catalyze life for the next 10 years, in Michael’s opinion.
Sitting with ayahuasca can be a difficult experience, especially when repressed trauma is surfacing. That’s why Michael and his wife focus on holding a safe space and being with their clients every step of the way. They pride themselves on transparency and intention, providing as much information and preparation as they can leading up to and throughout the retreat. Despite the difficulty, Michael says that sitting with the medicine “has always been worth it.” Even after ‘bad’ ceremonies, he himself came out feeling like a different person.
Michael hopes listeners learn that there are different options for healing and that while plant medicines are less known or understood in the western world, they are an option. “It’s all going to be okay,” he says as something he knows for certain.
Listen in to learn more about the medical and diet guidelines for ayahuasca journeys, the cost of Casa Galactica’s 10-day retreats, and how to book a free 30-minute consultation with Michael and his wife.
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Today I’m taking the time for a solo episode to talk about a few topics that have come to mind as I approach 40-years-old. A few conversations with friends and online interactions have brought inspiration for this episode of talking about how childhood trauma follows a person all the way into their adulthood behaviors.
Reflecting and Reminiscing
As I approach my birthday, I’ve been reminiscing and reflecting on the last and the next 40 years. I recently made a post on Facebook on the signs of high-functioning anxiety. On the outside, a person may appear as hard-working, organized, and someone who can work well under pressure—but beneath the surface, they may be overwhelmed, burnt out, and set unrealistic expectations.
All of this resonated with me greatly. To a stranger, my need to be busy might make me look like a hard worker rather than someone who doesn’t like to sit alone with their thoughts. The age-old adage, “You never know what someone else is going through,” still rings through, especially through the lens of social media.
Acknowledging Trauma-Based Behaviors
I recently did a poll asking, “What are some things you don’t realize you’re doing because of childhood trauma?” I found myself resonating with many of the answers and thought it would be helpful to share some of the responses. Childhood trauma can manifest in strange ways, such as attention-seeking behavior or a fight-or-flight mindset.
I, for one, find myself wanting to be recognized and heard. I often catch myself being too much of a people-pleaser or striving for perfection in order to be acknowledged. These were things I learned because of trauma, but there are ways to turn these behaviors into strengths. For example, since I work in hospitality, that people-pleasing thoughtfulness actually has positive impacts on my career. Recognizing trauma-related behaviors is the first step to healing the inner child.
Learning to Be Vulnerable
Having done this soul-searching leading up to my birthday, I think it’s important to say that it is okay to be vulnerable and share your struggles with others. You’re not alone in your suffering, and everyone—myself included—needs to know that it’s okay to have things that still need to be healed. Being a bit more honest with your struggles can, I think, lead to better conversation surrounding childhood trauma across the board.
Listen in to hear more on dealing with the repercussions of trauma as an adult and other ways childhood trauma manifests as unconscious behaviors.
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Today I’m talking with Nathan Osmond, keynote speaker, actor, entertainer as well as humanitarian. He’s had 4 consecutive hit country singles, won the John C. Maxwell Leadership Award 2 years in a row, and been the recipient of Honorary Command Sergeant Major. He uses his music and platform to recognize non-profits and to make a difference. Nathan is here to speak loud about being your own friend in the mirror through self-talk and resilience.
Nathan has had his struggles with self-talk and self-image. Not long after returning from his mission abroad, he was cast in the leading role in ‘You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown.’ He made extensive efforts to get into character but realized he may have internalized too much when he noticed self-esteem issues out of character. He had a heaviness that he couldn’t explain.
Nathan knew he had to be still and figure out what was going on with him, so he went to the temple where his parents were married to think and pray. Sitting in his car, he swears he heard a voice ask, “Why don’t you love yourself the way that I love you?” as if someone was in the passenger seat. Nathan decided then that he would love himself, be his own friend in the mirror, and stop taking himself so seriously.
When Nathan was a child, he was shy in the spotlight while the rest of his family was comfortable. After a nerve-wracking talk show appearance, his father told him that people wanted to hear what he had to say. Sometimes, Nathan recounts, you have to believe in someone else’s belief in you. He later went on to do more and more talk shows and eventually become a motivational speaker and podcaster.
During the pandemic, Nathan was affected by the change and uncertainty and started experiencing episodes of panic and worry. He even visited the hospital to see what was wrong. Eventually, he called his uncle, Donny Osmond, to tell him what was happening, who just laughed and said, “Welcome to the club.” Talking with his uncle, Nathan learned something: to stop seeing things as black-and-white and to live in the gray and let those feelings go. Own your moment.
To Nathan, there’s nothing that says, “This is how life has to be.” He’s found that he helps himself by helping others and listening to his own advice. “You’re speaking because you know what you need to hear,” he says. He wants to leave his mark on this world, whether it’s through music, speaking, or just being a father and husband. Sometimes you just need to ‘take a bit,’ as actors say, and pause to breathe before stepping into the spotlight.
Nathan knows that we’re all human with unique challenges, and hopes that listeners find value in what he’s shared, whether that’s loving themselves more, learning to laugh at themselves, or finding peace and joy in the journey. He encourages everyone to be their own friend in the mirror, and to ask, ‘What are you saying to yourself?’ and ‘Would you say it to someone else?’
Listen in to hear Nathan’s thoughts on seeing messages from a higher power, finding identity in who we are rather than what we do, and books he’s discovered in his journey with self-image.
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Today I’m talking about Jeff Soelberg, an amputee peer visitor, activist, and founder of the Jeff Giving a Hand Foundation. After losing three of his fingers in an industrial accident, Jeff has become a prominent advocate for amputees and how amputation affects all aspects of a person’s life. “Life happens when you adapt,” according to Jeff, and he believes in the resilience of the human spirit.
On July 6th, 2016, Jeff was in an industrial accident that resulted in the loss of three of his fingers, along with tendon and nerve damage up to his elbow on his dominant hand. He had been shining a pump shaft when his glove got caught and his hand was pulled in to the wrist. Despite his shock, Jeff was able to instruct his coworkers and the on-site nurse on what to do and was soon taken to the hospital for surgery.
Jeff underwent a total of 9 surgeries, 7 of them in the first 9 months. He recalls looking at his hand while waiting several hours in the hospital, knowing that his fingers weren’t there but not registering where they were. He describes the shock response as a sort of tunnel vision, and after leaving the hospital he was forced to relearn everyday functions while also dealing with the physical, emotional, and financial toll of his accident.
Fingers are medically labeled as cosmetic, not essential. Jeff’s responds that anyone with ten fingers can’t tell him what is or isn’t essential. It may only be a finger, but we do so much with our fingers from dawn to dusk. Part of his work has been advocating to insurance agencies in order to increase the availability of prosthetics for amputees, without clients paying thousands of dollars.
Recently, Jeff had the opportunity to go to London and educate a group of doctors on the necessity of finger prosthetics. Despite the advancements in prosthetic technology, the majority of hand surgeons are completely unaware of what prosthetics are available for the people they treat, and therefore won’t even think to prescribe a prosthetic. Jeff asked the group, “Where would you be without your fingers?” Education is a simple but incredibly important part of advocacy for amputees.
The Jeff Giving a Hand Foundation has an emphasis on physical fitness and living life as an amputee. If life has handed you a challenge, it’s an opportunity to step back and figure things out. For those struggling mentally, Jeff advises the basics: just try. Go for a short walk, do something to elevate your heart rate, as sitting at home will only take you to dark places. Looking to the future, Jeff plans to continue doing everything he can to make prosthetics available to everyone who needs them.
When Jeff first lost his fingers, he was unable to look at his hand when the doctor removed the bandage. Months later, he showed the same doctor a video of his most recent deadlift, and the doctor replied, “I always knew you had it in you.” Jeff hopes listeners know that a dark situation can be turned into something better, and encourages them to meet everyone with empathy and acceptance, whether their impairments are physical or invisible.
Listen in to learn more about para-athletes and competitions, types of finger prosthetics, and how Jeff adapted and adjusted to life after his amputation.
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Today I’m talking with Mary Jean Winn. Mary Jean grew up in northern Utah and has spent a lifetime she describes as not recognizing her own self-worth. She has 6 kids and 12 grandkids. Mary Jean is a business owner and a writer, and is starting a non-profit to help others find their own empowerment and identity.
Being Silenced on Abuse
Mary Jean shares that she’s repressed the early parts of her childhood as a result of her abuse and has struggled to piece together how that early programming has affected the person she is today. She had a father who was physically abusive to her, her siblings, and her mother, and one of her earliest memories is of abuse witnessed at 9 years old.
Throughout her childhood, Mary Jean didn’t go to therapy and didn’t speak about what was happening to her. People didn’t talk about abuse. Physical discipline was more common, but the line between discipline and abuse was often in question. Everything was silent, according to Mary Jean, and no one ever came to help. In her opinion, the worst thing that someone can do while abuse is happening is to be silent.
Speaking Her Truth
As an adult, Mary Jean has found comfort in writing about her experiences. She has filing cabinets full of journals that she uses as a healing modality. Being in survival mode for the majority of her life, she found there was a lot for her to process.
Mary Jean’s book, “Lessons I Learned On a Dirt Road,” is a project 30 years in the making. The title was inspired by the clarity she feels while out in nature on a dirt road, where she feels the most grounded and closest to God. Although she struggled with the structure of the book, she hopes to begin the process of publishing in September. There is a need for her to tell her story. “You have your own roadmap,” she says and encourages listeners to make sure they’re not following someone else’s.
Connecting People in Need
Mary Jean’s nonprofit “Building Connextions” aims to create an empowerment center for at-risk people. She calls it a connection center where people can learn how to find their voice and live their truth in a safe, comfortable environment. The nonprofit is in its early stages, but Mary Jean is excited about the amount of potential it has.
Mary Jeans wants to be a guide for people who are struggling, helping them find their best path in life. She’s in the process of putting together programs and growing the nonprofit into her dream, showing others how to live the life they’ve never lived before. Mary Jean hopes listeners know to never give up, even in their darkest moments. If they keep putting one foot in front of the other, eventually everything will pass. This is a lesson she has taught to her kids and herself.
Listen in to hear more of Mary Jean’s journey, why she decided to write her book, and what modalities she uses to stay on the right path in life.
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Today I’m talking with Stacey Dash, an accomplished actress, author, and healthy-living advocate. Stacey is a mother who has navigated many waters, overcoming obstacles to raise her children and remain in the film and TV industry. She recently celebrated 5 years clean and is here to speak loud about balancing family, health, and careers while holding onto your vision in life.
Focusing on the Future
Stacey believes that the future is more important than the past. “The windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror,” she says, but still details how her childhood affected her life. Both of her parents were addicted to drugs, and Stacy grew up angry as a result of her dysfunctional childhood.
At age 8, Stacey knew she wanted to be an actress after acting in her first play. An actress was able to escape the life they were living, she realized, and be someone else. She landed her first job at 18 after leaving home, but still struggled with self-worth all the way into adulthood. It wasn’t until her son was born, after Stacey grappled with the decision of abortion, that she says her life began.
Battling Opioid Addiction
In her adult life, Stacey struggled with an addiction to opioids, after being prescribed them for pain management. Everything that happened to her, she believed happened for a reason. At the time, opioids allowed Stacey’s brain to ‘slow down’ enough so that she could function.
No one in Stacey’s life knew about her struggle with drugs, aside from her sister. She accomplished many things, including contributing to Fox News for 2 years, writing a book, and being a good mother. But after collapsing in pain because of organ shutdown, Stacey spent a month in the hospital and was told that she would die if she did any drugs again. After being released, she was suddenly on a plane to Utah to go to rehab. Addiction, as Stacey explains, is not a choice. It’s a disease, and a painful one, and getting clean is one of the hardest things to do.
Never Too Late to Dream
When it came to being a mother, Stacey considered what she had wanted as a little girl, and worked to give those things to her children. She had wanted to feel loved and safe and knew she had to give that life to her kids. “It ends with me,” she said, deciding that her future generations would not know abuse, instability, or loss.
Stacey hopes that listeners come away from this episode with a greater sense of empathy and understanding. She is not a victim of her past or her circumstances. Even now, after being five years clean, she’s pursuing a passion project of interior design. Her goal is to create sanctuaries for people, both in-home and in worship, even if it means starting from the ground up. Stacey hopes that listeners know, “It’s never too soon and it’s never too late.” Whatever their vision is, it is still possible.
Listen in to hear more about Stacey’s upcoming book, how her relationship with God empowers her through her struggles, and how she’s found patience and endurance in adversity.
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Today I’m talking with Carl Bowcut from Orem, UT. Carl has degrees in both Psychology and Education and was an educator in the LDS church for 33 years. He’s a father of 6 and a grandfather to 14 and is here to share information about his and his family’s experience with balancing the brain using Cereset.
Exploring Treatments for Depression and Anxiety
Carl believes in speaking loud about mental illness. His wife has shown him that even high functioning individuals from stable backgrounds can suffer from anxiety or depression. Her questions of “Am I good enough?” and “Can I do this well enough?” have opened his eyes to mental illness, a topic that was much less talked about when they were growing up.
Carl always remained supportive of his wife, but in his words, “Spouses are terrible therapists.” Despite having the constant support of her husband and family, Carl’s wife knew that there was still something missing in her journey with depression and anxiety. Many people suffering emotionally and mentally may assume the problem is only with them, but that’s not the case.
Using Cereset for Sleep, PTSD, and Depression
One day, while watching a podcast on YouTube, Carl’s wife came across a testimonial from a celebrity whose family member used something called “brain echo” while experiencing depression and anxiety after addiction. Lee Gerdes, the developer of Cereset, developed a process that converts electromagnetic brain waves into sound waves and that play back to you in real-time. Hearing itself, according to Cereset, allows the brain to correct itself.
Carl, his wife, and their oldest son all tried Cereset, a 4-5 day process of 1.5-hour sessions. After the sessions, Carl’s wife came out a different person. She describes her experience with her ‘new brain’ “like the center part of me used to be fractured… and it’s been lined up.” Profoundly impressed with the process, Carl and his wife began developing the franchise in Utah, where there are now three locations for Cereset.
The Process of Cereset
Carl explains that the process begins with a baseline scan of the client’s brain, focusing on 2 main lobes: the frontal and temporal lobes, which are the emotion center and stress response centers of the brain. This gives a sense of how healthy the brain’s responses to stress and emotion are so that a comparison can be made after treatment.
The treatment takes 4-5 days, with an hour-and-a-half session each day. This allows the brain to create the necessary neural pathways to treat itself. The process itself is painless: clients just have to sit with their eyes closed and listen. Many often fall asleep during the session. Afterward, Carl always makes sure to keep in touch with clients to see how they’re doing post-treatment. The answer is almost always a resounding, “Amazing.”
Listen in to learn more about Carl’s personal experience with Cereset, how right and left brain imbalances affect emotion, and the difference between sound wave frequencies and Cereset.
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Today I’m talking with Denise Dixon from Atlanta, GA. Denise is a life coach with a Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, author of several workbooks and journals (with an upcoming book about surviving breakups), and a mother. Denise believes in the power of speaking loud about what we’re experiencing in life so that others don’t feel so isolated.
The Struggle to Understand Mental Health
To Denise, mental health is deeply personal. Therapy is valuable, but it’s important to find the right fit. Denise was a serial therapist hopper, and as a high functioning person, she struggled to find someone who was able to see through her to what she felt was truly wrong. Eventually, Denise found out she had depersonalization disorder, finally giving her the name for what she was feeling.
Denise pursued her Master’s in order to figure out herself, but in the process realized she had a gift for identifying issues in others. “Trauma knows trauma,” she says, and she decided to put those skills to use. From her own experience, Denise believes in looking at things from the client’s perspective.
Transitioning from Therapist to Lifecoach
After getting her Master’s, Denise planned to be a traditional therapist, but life had other plans. That particular career path didn’t fall into place, but she also knew that the type of conversations she loved having with people were conversations she wouldn’t have in a traditional setting. Denise enjoyed that space of accountability and made the natural transition from therapist to life coach.
Denise offers in-person and virtual coaching, along with workshops, classes, and retreats. As a life coach, she doesn’t simply give her clients a pat on the back or a high five. “My rates are too high for that,” she says. As a life coach, she’s an excavator, pulling out things in life that aren’t needed, so that her clients can meet their goals. Denise feels that this is truly her life’s work, and has had clients leaving who tell her that they’ve met someone who is doing what they’re meant to do.
Reclaiming Childhood With Her Children
As a mother, Denise is breaking the cycle with her own children, now 26 and 17-years-old. She loves that they’re able to have the childhood that she didn’t, and is able to experience that childhood with them. She taught them early on that what happens in their heads is important, and that they should do what makes them happy, not what others expect from them.
Denise had to learn how to trust as a parent. She believes that kids aren’t a possession, and parents don’t own them. They’re a gift, and even if she does her very best, she can’t control everything, so she focuses on raising human beings that can navigate the world on their own. Even in her absence, she knows she’s doing her best and gaining as many lessons as she’s teaching.
Listen in to hear about Denise’s methods for living with depersonalization, conversations to have with trauma survivors, and more about her upcoming book about her own survival story.
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Roger is a Seattle native and has joined the life of a nomadic traveler for an adult gap year. He decided to take a year off to travel to find and fulfill how he wanted to live his life. Currently, he is in Italy and is a writer, fellow podcaster, and adventurer; and he loves to cross-off items from his bucket list.
Roger is keen on spreading the message about the importance of finding your self-worth focused on who you are as a person. This decision came about after a heart attack during quarantine, which gave him the chance to reflect on his life "and put a reset in."
Finding your self-worth is a process of looking at the 168 hours in a week and seeing if the hours we spend in our activities reflect and share our value as a person. "There's almost a societal pressure that you're expected to find self-worth in your job." In addition, many people in society have accepted that certain professions are underpaid, overworked, and devalued - all of which have been accepted in our social fabric.
As a teacher, he was often told that he was doing this job for the kids. "At some level, it's extremely abusive." Selling your labor is OK, but it should never be acceptable to give away your worth or value in exchange for money.
The remaining 70 hours a week that you have to utilize after sleep and work needs to be time spent doing activities for what you can be known. After his heart attack, he decided to be the person known for how to cross off items on a bucket list. "What I really want to be known for is how I live my life and who I integrate into that space with."
Listen in to discover how he came up with his bucket list of activities that brought him joy, how he is maximizing what he can do for himself using his own labor, and why he has refused to live up to other's expectations of how he can live his life with a regular 9 to 5 job.
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Today I’m celebrating the 100th episode of the Speak Loud Podcast! I’m recapping some of my favorite episodes so far, and what I’ve learned in 100 episodes.
Thank you to everyone who has reached out and sent messages about how they’ve resonated with the podcast. This show is for you, after all, so I always love hearing your feedback and ideas.
The Speak Loud Podcast is about sharing a message of hope, but we all have to get through the dark parts to reach the light. I’ve learned how to use my past not as a crutch, but as a stepping stone for my future. After 22 years, my book Throwaway Girl is out this fall, and in that memoir, I cover details from Episode 1 in my own story of triumph and hope.
Some of my favorite episodes have been with friends or people in my close circles. In “Speak Up and Speak Loud Against Abuse”, my talk with my aunt opened my eyes to generational trauma in my family. Scott Clover, my dear friend, and somatic healer helps clients remove emotional blockages and connect to their authentic energy in “Intuitive Trauma Healing.”
Another one of my favorite episodes was “Why Resilience Matters with Em Capito.” Em was my first TedX speaker, and resilience is one of my favorite words. Resilience is about turning adversity into strength and triumphing over a challenge, which is the message I want to share on the Speak Loud Podcast.
Many episodes have been deep-dives into the brain and body after trauma. “How Trauma Affects the Brain with Joe Dennis” is one of the most listened-to episodes, where Joe brings valuable insight from his career as a clinician. “How To Use Creativity to Heal from Trauma with Lauri Schoenfeld” has excellent information for finding a different outlet for your healing. In “Exploring the Complexities of Trauma”, Michelle Binion, certified mental health clinician, enlightens us on why we work the way we do after trauma.
I’ve had great guests whose stories are full of light and hope. Rena Romano, in her episode “Overcoming Shame After Sexual Abuse,” shares how she’s become a “sur-thriver” and found endless possibilities in life. If you want an uplifting episode, check out “Giving Sunshine with Jason Clawson.” Jason is a clinical therapist and father whose movement “Giving Sunshine” sends therapeutic care packages to families struggling with grief, illness, and other struggles.
Thank you for tuning in and for continuing to believe in the Speak Loud message. As always, you are worthy, you are enough, and keep on shining your light.
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
Today, I’m joined by Shannon Earley, a fellow podcaster who produces her show called Mama’s Need Love. She is the mother of two children and has been married to her “bestie” for 12 years. Shannon is a Christian and has a passion for reminding other mommas how important and beautiful they are. In addition, she reminds abuse survivors that although you’ve been through abuse, you can still be deeply loved.
Remember That You’re a Beautiful Creation
Shannon is here to remind us that, as women, and especially mommas, we are all beautiful creations! Sometimes, it’s hard to remember that we are loved and amazing because of our abusive history. However, Shannon reminds us that we are unique human beings inside, no matter what abuse we have endured!
Escaping One Abusive Situation to Fall Into Another Abusive Setting
Shannon was sexually abused by an older teen for six years. Never having told her parents, she moved out at the age of 19 with an older man who continued the abuse for more than two years until she finally left the relationship.
Many of the emotional trauma Shannon suffered still lives with her today. In her late 30s, Shannon experiences traumatic setbacks and triggers which remind her of specific instances of abuse. This primarily affects her when she is intimate with her husband, and her past history of abuse comes up during special moments.
Listen in to hear more about what she needed to learn to adapt to her Autistic children, how she drew on her strength to get through her abusive family life growing up, and how Shannon is reversing the cycle of abuse and taking care of her family by creating a loving environment for them.
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
Today I’m joined by Lauri Schoenfeld, a writer, speaker, and mother of 3. She hosts her own podcast, “The Enlightenment Podcast” and has recently released her novel, “Little Owl.” Lauri is a returning guest here to speak loud about embracing your inner weirdo.
We often leave traumatic situations with traits and quirks that others may not have. When Lauri was younger, her best friends were her Barbie dolls--but when she was 12, her parents decided to throw them all away. After this, Lauri struggled to connect with wonder and curiosity, and for many years tried to be who she thought she was supposed to be rather than who she wanted to be.
Lauri says not to judge yourself for traits you have as a result of trauma. Instead, lean into them with curiosity. The differences, in her opinion, are what make us fascinating as human beings. The curiosity of understanding why we are the way we are without judging should be embraced with ourselves and with others.
As an adult, Lauri used to refuse to show she was hurting. She kept a bandaid on but eventually had to ask herself what she hadn't been doing. The answer to that was, she hadn’t been loving herself and investigating what was hurting her. She had to rip off the bandaid and look under the surface, which is what inspired her book, “Little Owl.”
The book was a journey of walking through her trauma. Doing so can be difficult, but Lauri engaged with her inner Nancy Drew and found a way to investigate her past in a wondrous, playful way. She was curious about what events had shaped her and what made her who she is today.
Growing up, Lauri had a special connection to music. As a teenager, whenever she was angry, she had a go-to playlist that she would put on while driving as fast as she could through backroads. She created a safe space for herself to scream and be angry when it wasn’t allowed in the house.
As an adult, Lauri has found different ways to cope, not only for herself but for her children, too. She still turns on her angry music, but now puts that rage into a punching bag. Her children all have different ways of engaging with anger that she engages in, whether that’s going on a run, having a punching bag session, or smashing plates and using the pieces to create something beautiful. Lauri’s made a point to invite anger and rage into her home--without directing it at each other.
Listen in to hear more about dealing with abandonment, reflecting on unhealthy behaviors as an adult, and the process of writing a book and building a website.
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
Today I’m joined by Mark Smith, a “curator of the bigger vision within” and a podcast host from, “The Process Podcast.” Mark is a self-described “work in progress who believes success is limitless,” with the desire to share his life journey in a way that resonates with everyone--personally and professionally.
Change is okay, Mark believes. This concept has always resonated with him, but became his passion in 2018, when he started writing a series he called, “Process”. After losing his father to cancer, going through a divorce, and a career change, Mark had to ask himself how to embrace change rather than wallow in what was.
Mark’s grandfather once said, “All storms don’t come to hurt you, some storms come to clear your path.” Mark believes that change comes to push down a cleared path, one where we can move to the next level in life. Without change, we would never reach what we’re truly meant for.
“It can be hard at first, messy in the middle, but rewarding in the end.” This is how Mark has chosen to approach change. When it comes to adapting to change, he’s collected a few key tools. First, he has to look at the bigger picture--or attempt to, at least--and embrace that what happened, happened. From there, he asked, what is this teaching me? What messages were there all along?
After his father died, Mark went through all stages of change--difficulty, messiness, and eventual reward. He lost jobs, ended up divorced, and spent years asking his father why he had done this to his son. Eventually, he was able to look back and embrace the lessons that his father’s passing taught him: enjoy and embrace life, live without regrets, and let your loved ones know you love them.
Mark created “The Process” podcast when he was told his job position at the time was going to be eliminated. He had to decide what he wanted his core message to be, and found three components: he had to believe that this story had the potential to change someone’s life, that his story was worthy of sharing, and that someone out there would resonate with it.
Since he first started writing, he has completed six messages and hopes to publish a book with number ten, reaching more than 100,000 people. He loves that he’s able to offer people a blueprint when they might need it. If everyone he interacts with ends up bitter or better because of him, Mark chooses to make that person ‘better.’
Listen in to hear more about Mark’s ongoing projects, what empowers him on a daily basis, and his five-year plan for the future.
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
Today I’m joined by Cindy Wallace, author and mental health therapist, who is here for her first podcast to speak loud about healing from PTSD. Cindy has a bachelor’s in English and Creative Writing, as well as a master’s in Social Work, and as a writer has had more than 15 published articles and award-winning prose.
Cindy describes that trauma often cuts life into a clean ‘before’ and ‘after.’ She was 16 when she was kidnapped and abused over 24 hours, while no one knew she was gone. When she returned home, she was “catatonic,” and felt she was watching someone else live her life through a lens.
Her brain kept telling her to survive, and Cindy did so by pretending she was someone else. She was eventually diagnosed with severe dissociation and chronic PTSD but had blocked the trauma out completely. She had no idea why she had changed or what had happened to her for another 15 years.
At 31, Cindy’s trauma resurfaced while writing a story for creative fiction, resulting in a psychotic break and a 2-week admittance to in-patient. From there, she put in an incredible amount of work to rebuild. Cindy was determined to keep moving and doing things with her life. She has three kids, and at the time, they were her driving force to persevere. While recovering, Cindy learned to use mindfulness as a way to get through the day. “All you have to do is put one foot on the floor,” Cindy told herself, continuing like that throughout the day. Everything went one step at a time.
At first, Cindy rejected the “everything happens for a reason” narrative. She constantly questioned what happened to her, and why. Eventually, she realized that she created her own reason, and decided on a career that gave her purpose. She has been a therapist for 6 years now after completing her master’s in social work.
Cindy explains how she processes everything through writing, and over the past year has finished writing her book on her journey. Some of the scenes took months to write, as she had to revisit everything that happened to her. When the pandemic hit, she experienced another breakdown, but this time found a community within the pandemic who supported her.
Cindy’s journey has been an amazing one, but she notes that trauma is often not as ‘big’ as many people think. “Trauma is defined as anything that surpasses your ability to cope,” she tells listeners. Cindy hopes people know that they’re never too far gone and that they can start healing from where they are right now.
Listen in to hear more about Cindy’s healing journey, her experience as a therapist, Ayahuasca retreats, and other healing modalities.
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
Today I’m joined by Jason Clawson, a clinical therapist and father of two boys, and co-creator of “Giving Sunshine”, which sends therapeutic care packages to families or individuals struggling with grief, terminal disease, and more. Since the death of his wife three years ago, Jason has started to look at life differently and is here to speak loud about finding hope after tragedy.
From an early age, Jason was drawn to support others in difficult situations. His natural inclination led him to a residential treatment center shortly after college, where he was able to give support and encouragement to others daily.
Jason’s career in therapy felt like the natural progression of his life. He’s gravitated towards helping people with addiction, as well as trauma and grief. He values being more than just a sounding board for his clients, but being someone who will walk the path with them.
Three years ago, Jason’s wife passed away from stage 4 colon cancer. At the time, it felt impossible to calm down with so many fears and uncertainties. During treatment, a doctor told him, “Cancer has a way of enhancing your life,” and while he refused the notion at first, those words have stuck with him.
Jason recalls how, after the funeral, he felt incredibly alone. He continued to work for 9 months until he realized that he needed an intervention. So, he set one up, texting more than a dozen people to invite them to his house to help. People want to help, he says, but often don’t know how. 3 weeks later, Jason quit his job to spend the whole summer with his boys. “We need to make some happy memories so that we can be happier again,” he told them.
Jason’s idea for sunshine boxes came as a result of a lemonade stand with his kids and a basket of yellow things that his wife received while in treatment. In raising money to create and send out boxes, Jason was able to not only help others through pain but watch his sons do the same. The boxes come with fun yellow things to bring happiness, as well as therapeutic tools to help in difficult times.
Jason and his partner have sent the sunshine boxes to 21 states, and hope to do all 50. “This is what my wife would want to do,” Jason says, and details how he’s able to keep his wife in his life every day. The “Giving Sunshine” kickstarter is now live, and Jason has many plans for spreading sunshine in the near future.
Listen in for advice on counseling loved ones, how to find resources for therapy, and the story of the Giving Sunshine movement.
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
Today I’m joined by Nikisha Timms, a creative and empowered woman dedicated to sharing the light with others. Her movement, “The World Is a Better Place Because YOU Exist” is all about spreading love to those who need it most. She is a mother of 2 and an intuitive healer who is here to speak loud about her journey from the dark into the light.
Choice Over Circumstance
Nikisha grew up in an abusive home riddled with generational trauma. Both her parents were addicted to drugs, which sent Nikisha and her brother into foster care. She suffered from sexual abuse while in the system, along with other traumas.
From her childhood, Nikisha learned to be a product of her own choices, not her circumstances. Despite her struggles, she started to unpack her emotional baggage, so that she could fill that luggage with something better.
Healing Generational Trauma
“By passing down generational trauma, you’re saying that the trauma that was done to you was okay,” Nikisha says. Her mother was sexually abused, and the traumas have persisted in Nikisha’s life and her son’s.
Nikisha is now a mom of two boys and actively gives them tools to break the cycle. She’s adamant about giving her children a voice and leaning into trust. She also teaches her kids anatomical language, in order to accurately describe any possible abuse.
Making the World a Better Place
“The World Is a Better Place Because YOU exist” started as a small, one-woman movement, with Nikisha putting sticky notes on 3 people’s cars every day. She started the movement in hopes of stopping even one person from committing suicide, and soon that movement rippled out to her close friends, and later an entire community.
Nikisha describes the process as passing the torch: spreading your light from one person to the next. Along with her movement, Nikisha provides abundance healing sessions and group workshops, where she gives others tools and coping mechanisms, helping them connect with their higher self.
Listen in to hear more about Nikisha’s energy work and intuition, her journey with weight loss, and what healing modalities she uses.
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
Kristen Donnelly has been on the TEDx stage four times as a speaker in the past year. She is an international empathy educator and a researcher with two decades of experience in helping people understand inclusivity benefits. In addition, she is an “unapologetic nerd for stories of change.” Kristen lives in Philadelphia, where she is surrounded by her pile of books and
Why Being a Human is Hard
“Being a human is hard not because you’re bad at it, but because it is hard.” If we can listen to ourselves and understand ourselves and others better, we can make our human experience both fuller and richer.
Empathy is About Understanding
“Empathy is a cognitive, mental framework where you decide at every moment that you can, to choose understanding instead of stereotypes.” Understanding can become a practice and a posture that you use to move through the world instead of ignoring what’s around you or becoming ignorant.
How to Make Your Life Better
“I’ve searched high and low for an instruction manual [on life] and have not found one,” says Kristen. But what she has found out about life is that life is better when we do it together. Since we are biologically wired to do life together, it only makes sense that community matters and makes our lives better.
Listen in discover why what matters about trauma is how it affects you as a person, how to respond when encountering others’ trauma, and how she put herself back together after a life-altering event happened within her small community.
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
Scott Clover is a fantastic somatic body and intuitive healer who has helped hundreds of individuals remove the emotional blockages created by years of trauma and abuse. Scott uses his unique skill set to help others connect to their authentic energy to experience their life potential while removing the layers of negative emotional habits. Working with Scott gives his clients the ability to heal themselves through changing their body’s energy patterns. He works with clients in the US and worldwide, healing the Earth one person at a time. He is here to Speak Loud about why you need to listen more to your intuition.
What is Intuition?
Scott describes two basic types of intuition: animalistic - which describes that “gut” feeling we get about someone or an energetic situation and your third eye energy, your source energy. The latter type of intuition holds all information from the dawn of time, which a few people, such as Scott, can tap into.
Speaking and Listening to Your Intuition
Scott says, the more we speak about intuition, the more stigma is taken away. Being guided by your intuition is one thing; bringing that into society is another level because many view intuition as strange and not the guardian angel that our intuition is meant to be for us.
How Does Energy Healing Work?
As an energy healer, Scott uses his intuition to see and sense energy patterns to heal them. He keeps his intuition honed and then puts out his “radar” when he’s working to sense the energy of his clients. With somatic healing, Scott helps his client find the emotional trauma in their mind and releases it so that the physical pain and discomfort felt by their trauma is set free for his clients.
Listen in discover how the body chakras work, how you can utilize energy healing in your own life, and why you may have an emotional block that prevents you from using meditation for healing.
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
Stephanie Martin is here to Speak Loud about the emotional and psychological abuse that comes with being inside a toxic relationship. She helps others move through toxic relationships to empower themselves to create a new life using her coaching, speaking, and writing. Her signature coaching program Liberated and Loved shows her clients how to cultivate self-love, self-worth, and self-trust. Stephanie is an Internationally Certified Life Coach, an introvert, world traveler, and adventure-lover.
You Don’t Always Know You’re In an Abusive Relationship
Stephanie didn’t even realize that she was inside an abusive relationship when she fell into a whirlwind romance. Early on, she experienced extreme jealousy and insecurity from her partner to the extent that she had to delete all photos from her past, which showed her having positive experiences with female and male friends.
Psychological Manipulation within Her Relationship
Her partner would psychologically manipulate Stephanie and tell her that images of her past would “hurt him,” She would delete the photos so as not to cause these feelings for her partner. When she would advocate for herself and voice her own opinions, they would be manipulated and used against her. Her boyfriend was so manipulative that he messaged Stephanie’s girlfriend and told her to take down pictures of Stephanie on a girl’s weekend they spent together.
Waking Up From Her Toxic Relationship Right Before Stephanie was Married
With no one in her life supporting her relationship with her manipulative fiance, Stephanie decided to pull the plug on her wedding. Ten weeks before she was married, Stephanie realized she needed to break off the relationship. “It was an animalistic instinct that I had to leave,” says Stephanie.
Listen in to discover how Stephanie broke off her relationship and moved out of their shared home, how she realized that calling off her wedding was a must, and how she reclaimed her life moving forward in her new life.
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
Today I’m joined by John Callas: writer, director, and producer in the entertainment business. Some of John’s projects include feature films, trailers, documentaries, and music videos. He’s a published author who believes that everyone deserves happiness, and hopes to support other men through their own struggles with trauma.
A Life Without Choices
John grew up with unresolved anger issues and his violent streak caused him to act out until his mother sent him to military school. Feeling abandoned and alone, he initiated countless fights. The one benefit the school gave him was self-discipline and structure.
After military school, the trauma continued, culminating in a suicide attempt when he was 15. By the time he was in college, John was struggling to figure out his life. When his roommate gave him the option of choosing which bed he wanted--the first time he had a choice in anything in a long time--his life started to go up.
John Shares His Story with His New Book
“When the Rain Stops” is John’s memoir, consisting of his life’s struggles. While writing his book for 30 years, he looked at his life from another angle. He realized that there may be others who needed to hear his own story.
John shares that talking about trauma, especially as a man, is not easy, but he hopes to convince other men that they’re not alone. “Go where the love is,” John says, encouraging trauma survivors to find the people who support them when they’re vulnerable.
There’s Strength in Being Vulnerable
John’s own experience as a father has been wildly different in comparison to his childhood. He explains that throughout his sons’ lives, he and his wife learned to focus more on listening than teaching. The key was not to hold children accountable for lesson that parents fail to teach, and to let kids see that they are also vulnerable and imperfect.
Listen in to hear John’s journey into the film industry, his proudest accomplishments, and what projects he’s working on next.
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
Today I’m joined by James Owen Roberts, a ParaOlympian athlete, entrepreneur, and Tedx speaker who is here to share his story of triumph and resilience. James is a fellow podcaster, with the “Mindset Athlete” podcast, as well as an author with more than 15 years experience in exercise and diet mindset.
James comes from a stubborn family. When he was born with his disability, there was doubt surrounding how he would navigate an able-bodied world. Throughout his life, James learned how to “overcome the monkey bars” and participate in all the things his peers were able to do. Whenever someone told him no, he couldn’t, James responded with, “Watch me.”
In his early adulthood, James went unexpectedly from swimming to rowing as his main sport. He was hesitant to start something new, but a conversation with his mom pushed him to try. In her eyes, it was a win-win situation: either he’s good at it, or he’s not, which means he can try something else. James found the motto, “I don’t know for certain, but why focus on next year when we have now?”
When people ask him how he was so successful, James explains that he learned to thrive off the competitive environment of athletes. The sporting environment encourages athletes to push others by pushing themselves. He took things one step at a time, climbing each rung of the ladder until he made it to the Paralympics. In spite of setbacks, he learned that there’s always room to look at the bigger picture.
Despite his successes, James is no stranger to failure. His business experienced ups and downs as a result of his inexperience with running a business. But losing clients, transactions falling through, and not making any money taught James the valuable lessons he needed to not let it happen again. Whenever James struggles with motivation, he reminds himself that he’s not just showing up for himself--he’s showing up for his community, too, like a lighthouse: if there’s no light, other ships are going to hit the rocks.
Now, James is a coach that focuses on mindset as much as on physical aesthetics. He believes that in order to change a person for the long-term, you have to change their habits, behaviors, and self-confidence. He chips away at underlying beliefs in order to teach clients that just because they may have failed at something, they’re not a failure, and motivation isn’t everything.
James teaches his students to make the conscious choice to persevere rather than relying on motivation. Through this, he teaches resilience. James hopes that listeners will take away that if you want change, you have to make the choice. It’s no one else’s fault or responsibility. If you look at yourself in the mirror, and aren’t happy with it, James says that it’s your choice to make that change.
Listen in to hear James’ journey to the paraolympics, his story with sports with a disability, and his experience with TedX.
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Today I’m talking with Chana Mason, who coaches her clients in clarifying vision, shifting beliefs, and manifesting their dreams. Chana’s work turns complex ideas into easy, accessible tools for transformation. She’s an author, life coach, and businesswoman who challenges her students to question the beliefs that keep them locked in trauma.
Chana was born in Bogota, Colombia. As a young child, she was unaware of just how dangerous a place it was, until--at 5 years old--multiple men broke into her house, held her mother at gunpoint, and threatened to kidnap her and her sisters. Within 48 hours, her family had fled to Miami, Florida, where Chana would grow up.
What Chana didn’t realize was just how much trauma had been inflicted on her and her family. Chana’s trauma manifested in nightmares, hallucinations, and eventually anxiety and depression in her later years. It wasn’t until her 30s that she started to see a change, after years of therapy missing the mark. Chana moved to Israel to connect with her religion, but soon discovered the emotional baggage flying with her: “I’m not enough, God doesn’t love me enough.” She had to unlearn these beliefs, first.
Chana discovered the power of inquiry from a friend. Byron Katie’s book, “Loving What Is”, got passed from hand-to-hand of Chana’s friends, and soon they had a tight-knit, therapeutic circle of women who met weekly to apply the lessons they learned. This was the beginning of Chana’s coaching training--with her friends--and the beginning of a much happier life.
To inquire is to ask questions, and inquiry is asking questions that make you think about your thinking. Chana says that we think so much we often don’t stop to consider our thoughts, and come to believe we are our thoughts. The faculty of thought, in Chana’s words, is meant to process things strategically, to be used rather than to use us. Inquiry allows us to uncover our underlying beliefs and question them.
Chana’s technique of inquiry works by challenging clients’ thoughts with their opposite: rather than, ‘They should love me,’ for example, Chana suggests, ‘I should love me.’ This gives clients autonomy, as well as the ability to vocalize their needs. She teaches clients to replace belief with better beliefs, and in turn, get out of their own way.
Chana explains that we have no control over others, or the world, and imposing our own beliefs on how things should be is fighting a losing battle. It’s a skill of accepting reality, in a way that allows students to unfreeze and meet life with curiosity and enjoyment, rather than with beliefs that underserve them and perpetuate their trauma.
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
Today I’m joined by Gabriel Shaw, who for more than 15 years has helped people heal as a paramedic, a kinesiologist, clinical exercise physiologist and Tai Chi instructor. Gabriel has led specialty workshops at events such as the Victoria Yoga Conference, Tai Chi Mountain Retreat, Burning Man and more. Today, Gabriel is here to speak loud about how he helps people through their trauma-healing with various modalities.
Everyone stores trauma in their body. Gabriel specializes in using movement to heal. Oftentimes, trauma is locked away in our bodies and ignored. Healthcare practitioners especially are often overlooked in the trauma they take on in their fields. Careers in the medical field can have short lifespans because of the stress they induce, something Gabriel struggled with, himself.
During his time as a paramedic, Gabriel put himself last, believing his trauma wasn’t ‘as bad’ as his patients’. One of his tools for healing was Tai Chi and Qi Gong, which let him tap into his body in order to release what was built up. Energy work helps cultivate the essential ‘you’ that may be buried.
Tai Chi blends martial arts and Qi Gong in order to cultivate internal energy. Gabriel says the first step of Tai Chi is learning to relax, and access the places we’ve locked up to store stress. Trauma survivors--and their caregivers--may respond to trauma by locking it away in a certain part of their body. Tai Chi works to bring feeling back into those separated areas.
‘Qi’ is a Chinese word meaning energy or breath, or, as Gabriel describes, “fire without fire.” He explains that people often get caught up with the mystical interpretation of Qi, when it can be boiled down to the physical sensation of living in your body. If you were to stop and just feel your body, you likely wouldn’t feel it in terms of muscle or bone structure, but rather a flow of sensations from one place to the next. Tai Chi and Qi Gong work to cultivate even more of that flow and connect the body’s energy.
Gabriel explains that people often resist healing movement because of the focus it draws to places of discomfort. Movement is change, and humans often resist change. “You can’t rush your healing,” Gabriel says. After an injury, a patient may focus on getting back to where they were before, physically or mentally. That’s where we get into trouble, according to Gabriel, because that stagnation is what stops us from healing.
Listen in to learn about Tai Chi and Qi Gong, intuitive movement as a healing modality, and Gabriel’s experience with kinesiology and wellness coaching.
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
Today I’m joined by Michael Unbroken, creator of the Think Unbroken podcast and book. He has gone from homeless to hero, empowered more than 100,000 other survivors to be their own heroes, and spoken in 80 countries about generational trauma. Michael is on a mission to end generational trauma in his lifetime through information and education.
Michael has lived a chaotic life. He was physically abused, molested, endured homelessness and poverty. In short, life was not pretty. Throughout childhood, Michael had two goals: survive, and become a Marine sniper in order to escape his current situation. While he succeeded with the first, a knee injury kept him from the second, and he was forced to find a new path.
Michael thought the answer to all his problems was money. At 18, he made a goal of making 100k a year. He started off learning skills, and eventually landed a job making more than his original goal. But at 25, Michael was miserable. He was overweight, smoking, drinking, and cheating. After attempting suicide for the second time, Michael took a real look at himself in the mirror. At rock bottom, he told himself, no more excuses. Just results.
Acknowledging the truth was Michael’s wakeup call. His entire life, he had been the victim, and rightfully so. While he wasn’t responsible for what he went through as a child, he had to accept the fact that he was now an adult. Instead of continuing to deflect blame, Michael decided to take accountability.
Michael’s lifelong goal is to end generational trauma--in his lifetime. It may be an impossible goal, but that doesn’t stop him. He plans to foster children in the future, but until then, his actions are determined by the same goal. “Think Unbroken” is about overcoming the notion that survivors are broken and unable to change their lives.
Michael hopes listeners will feel encouraged to seek the things they need to heal. Eventually, you have to take accountability for yourself, and acknowledge that you’re in control. The key is to trust yourself. By trusting himself, Michael was able to create the life he has now, from his career, to his fitness, to his relationships. “Life is happening for you, not to you,” he says.
Listen in to hear about Michael’s process of writing a book, the research on generational trauma and DNA, and where Michael sees himself in the future.
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
Today I’m joined by Josh Boone, a marketing advisor and fellow podcaster from “The Josh Boone Show”, where he has talks with some of the world’s most unique thinkers. On his show, Josh deconstructs society, psychology, and purpose, and hopes to share some of the things he’s learned and show that while he may still struggle with mental health, it doesn’t stop him from living his life.
When asked about what modalities he uses, Josh says, “Everything.” He considers himself an optimizer, given his marketing background. He uses the concept of ‘split-testing’ to try different practices at the same time, testing what works and what doesn’t. Meditation, books, and supplements have been some of the most impactful.
Josh emphasizes the importance of creating a buffer. Meditation helps separate himself from his thoughts. “Not my circus, not my monkeys,” Josh says. He’s also recently turned to functional medicine. Many people struggle with feelings of being ‘broken, when in reality a physiological deficiency--like magnesium, which correlates to high anxiety--may be the root cause.
Catapult Creative was Josh’s seven-figure marketing company, where he pulled 100-hour work weeks. While the company was an outward success, Josh was ultimately unhappy. Upon reaching a breaking point, he asked himself, “What am I optimizing for?” The company wasn’t serving him and he needed a change in lifestyle. So, Josh packed up and started living on the road in an RV.
After 3 weeks, despite feeling like he had everything he wanted, Josh felt even more miserable. He reflects that when dealing with trauma, you need to give yourself time to decompress, like a soldier coming home from war. He had only given it three weeks, so he decided to see it through.
Two years later, Josh was finally feeling enlightened, but realizing that his life lacked purpose and connection. Moving back to Ohio, he started work again with the question, “What do I want to do?” He wanted to consult, work fewer hours, and do his podcast. But his enlightenment fell away once work began. Suddenly, he was right back where started--until the pandemic put everything on pause.
In the last year, Josh learned to approach life as a surfer, rather than a pilot. The surfer doesn’t fight the wave, but moves symbiotically with it. The pilot has a destination in mind that he needs to reach no matter what. Josh shares that the practicing awareness in the day-to-day has improved his life little-by-little. “Pain is not something you should avoid,” Josh says, and hopes that his story will help others retake control of their own lives.
Listen in to hear Josh’s take on toxic relationships, borderline personality disorder, and functional medicine modalities.
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What a joy it was to speak with Rena Romano for the last episode of the season. Rena has gone from childhood sexual abuse to contemplating suicide, from appearing on the Oprah Show to the TEDx stage. She’s a respected speaker, author, TEDx coach, and a “sur-THRIVER” of abuse with a mission to show people how to live the endless possibilities of positive life after trauma.
Rena’s abuse persisted for nearly 20 years, from age 4. At such a young age, she had no language for what was happening to her, and was unable to speak up about what she was going through. When she was older, she knew it would have torn her family apart to speak up, but as an adult reflects that it’s not the child’s responsibility to stop the crime.
Even after escaping her situation, Rena still struggled with abuse in early adulthood. Perpetrators of rape and abuse were like a lion sniffing out blood, sensing when their victims are most weak or wounded. Rena was addicted to abuse, believing it to be what love looked like, and continued to attract it into her life.
The Law of Attraction doesn’t work unless you put it into motion, Rena says. Having watched Oprah talk with other sur-THRIVERs, Rena was certain she would be on the show. She sent in an email with her story and waited, but even in the 2 years leading up to that call, she spoke and acted like she already knew she was going to be on air--which she did.
One of Rena’s favorite practices is writing. For 5-15 minutes a day, she would sit down and create her future through writing. She would write about how happy and grateful she was that her TEDx talk had reached so many people, long before it had happened. “Happy is the best revenge,” she says.
In overcoming abuse, Rena says to speak about what you’ve gone through. Survivors have no reason to be ashamed of crimes committed against them. Writing her book, “His Puppet No More”, was like spitting out the last bit of cancer that Rena still carried from her abuse. The more she shared her story, the more healed she was. “Healing begins by telling, but we must make telling safe.” Rena hopes that other sur-THRIVERs listening in know that they are enough and have nothing to be ashamed of.
Listen in to hear more about Rena’s journey, how she wrote her book, and her advice for success and healing.
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For more information and support, visit RAINN
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
Today's amazing guest is Amy Nordhues. Amy is an author, passionate Christ follower, and a married mother of 3 who became an expert on the healing God provides after suffering sexual abuse at the hands fo a mental health professional. Her book, “Prayed Upon” tells the true story of her escape from the abuse of a respected, Church-going psychiatrist. Amy strives to help other victims understand themselves and know that they're not alone.
Amy first met her psychiatrist 7 years before the abuse started. She had sensed something amiss immediately and had not gone back. Upon finding and falling in love with a church community, where he was one of the elders, Amy found herself sucked in again. Other Church-goers praised the doctor’s work, and when a friend gave Amy her session for free, the grooming had begun.
Amy says that part of her recognized the malpractice right away, but she struggled with an internal monologue that explained away any of the red flags she noticed. Her desire to be polite in front of an authority figure, as well as her history of being abused as a child, had removed the word ‘No’ from her vocabulary.
Amy had confided in a friend from Church about what was happening in her sessions multiple times, but it wasn’t until she decided to speak with her pastor that change began to happen.
The moment that Amy was able to get out of her abusive situation was by having her friend sit with her through the scheduled timeof her therapy, which was now three hours long. The doctor called nine times while her friend manned the phone. When the three hours were over, Amy knew that by not going once she would never go again.
Connecting with others allowed for Amy to see the harsh reality she had been in. Not only was she not alone in her trauma, she was not defective or at fault because of it. Throughout her recovery, Amy re-learned how to be vulnerable and how to connect with her husband and family, a journey that has transformed her married life.
Writing her book, “Prayed Upon” allowed Amy to understand herself. The book took about 7 years, but by putting it on paper, she let herself understand what had happened and forgive herself for not leaving earlier. The book cover, of a bird sitting in a cage with the door open, symbolizes her internal struggle of why she didn’t leave earlier. The book has helped Amy and other women know that, “It’s not just me.”
Listen in to hear Amy’s account of how her experience affected her marriage, what modalities of healing she sought out in recovery, and how her relationship with God facilitated her recovery.
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content
Kevin Palmeri, is an entrepreneur and podcaster from Next Level University. With more than 800 episodes so far, Kevin is dedicated to overcoming limitations, and feels he has a responsibility to be authentic and vulnerable on his platform.
At 25, Kevin had the ‘perfect life’: a beautiful girlfriend, a sports car, a high-paying job. But when his girlfriend left him, Kevin realized he had spent 25 years working on his wallet, and not himself. He started to change, but leaned too far into his financial goal of making six-figures. By the time he reached his goal, he felt no different.
Kevin describes one morning before work when he realized how low he was. He struggled with suicidal thoughts, including doubts about his podcast, which was only a passion project at the time. Upon calling a friend, his later co-host and business partner, Kevn realized it was time to change his environment. He traded his current problems for better ones by diving into his new business. “Hurdles never go away, you just get better at jumping over them,” Kevin says.
Kevin’s business helps entrepreneurs who don’t have the time to run an entire show make their own podcasts. He has a lot of valuable advice for newcomers, but emphasizes consistency and resilience. Be in it for the long run, he tells listeners, and do something that you would do for free.
Kevin believes resilience begins with your identity. Everyone is conditioned to believe a certain narrative, and Kevin’s advice is to search within yourself and ask questions that challenge your conditioning. “Where you are now is not where you are forever,” Kevin says, “unless you decide to be.” Resilience is built by starting small, and continuing to show up.
While meditation and going to the gym help keep Kevin motivated, he says that motivation isn’t everything. If he only did the work when he was feeling motivated, his business would have gone nowhere. Kevin prioritizes showing up even when it’s hard. He does this by asking himself if he still wants what he did the day he started, and if the answer is yes, he plows ahead.
Kevin hopes that listeners will realize that the person they are today can change completely. In entrepreneurship, Kevin learned a lot about business, but learned the most about himself. “Your reality becomes the parts of your imagination that you hold onto the longest,” Kevin says, sharing a favorite quote.
Listen in to hear Kevin’s advice for succeeding in business, his favorite resources for entrepreneurship and spirituality, and how relationships affect our success.
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
Joining me today is Gina Rolkowski, who believes because you’ve been traumatized, doesn’t mean you can’t lead a purposeful life. She talks about how trauma victims have a choice, how we can be mindfully aware of what is going on in our minds and bodies, and how to take back control of our lives.
Reliving Trauma and Repeating the Pattern
Growing up experiencing sexual abuse as a child, Gina didn’t remember her experience until her 40’s. At age six, she had chronic stomach aches, and her doctor told her parents she was doing it for the attention. Then, at 14, she had issues with her period and started having seizures. Looking back, she realizes that the seizures were part of emotional defense and overload from her abuse.
Getting pregnant at 19, she married an abusive husband. She divorced her husband and experienced severe PTSD, depression, and anxiety. Next, Gina turned to illegal drugs and alcohol to soothe her emotional trauma. Her doctors gave her a cocktail of drugs for her symptoms, which didn’t change the memories that kept giving her issues daily.
Struggling with internal shame, Gina had difficulty functioning in daily life. When her flashbacks returned, Gina had to take time off of her teaching job to heal.
Listen in to find out how she broke the chronic therapist cycle, how God played a significant role in her recovery, and how she visually sees the trauma in her body and used her visions to heal herself.
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
Joining me today is S.F. Banks, who is doing phenomenal work in our community with our youth. In 2007 he opened up an I.M. Defense Institute, which shows women and men how to defend themselves from attackers. He also has a youth program and is a creator of Camp Warrior King, exposing youth to upbeat, fun activities. In addition, S.F. founded You Can Have It All, a youth conference, and the accompanying You Can Have It All youth magazine. Lastly, he created Team Hot Sauce, a cartoon storytelling platform for youth.
Overcoming Your Past
SF is a big believer in taking the pains from your past and making those into the beauty of your future. “Let those things that you’ve overcome, fuel you towards your future.”
Having two aunts - one that was murdered by her husband, along with murdering their child (his cousin), and another aunt who suffered severe brain damage from her husband, S.F. is on a mission to help women defend themselves as a result of these experiences he had as a child.
“I still have a toy of my cousin JoJo’s in my truck that I keep to help me remember my purpose.” His cousin’s truck is a constant reminder of how he can help keep one or more children from the same situation that his aunts went through.
Listen in to find out how S.F. started his journey with the I.M. Defense Institute over a decade ago, an example of a client who could protect themselves as a result of his program, and how he provides food and shelter to the children he supports in the African orphanage.
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
With me today is Michael, who is here to speak loud about something not many people speak about. Michael is dedicated to ending the silence around male sexual abuse survivors, after a harrowing journey with sexual abuse, alcohol and drug addiction and mental illness.
Michael grew up in a violent, emotionally and physically abusive household, because of his mother. At 14, he entered a sexually abusive situation with an older woman. He was obsessed with her, unaware of the negative impact the situation was having on him.
When a family counselor unearthed the truth, neither they nor Michael’s parents addressed the abuse. Instead, he was grounded. He began drinking and experiencing mental health spirals that led to a brush with suicide. “I was wild, disruptive, like a grenade without a pin,” Michael says.
After high school, Michael was in the bar business for 27 years, with unlimited access to alcohol and compulsive sex. At 22, his father passed away, and Michael developed the mindset that good people, like his father, weren’t rewarded in the long run, and no one went out of their way to protect vulnerable people.
After losing his job, his house, and nearly his life to alcoholism, Michael was placed in a rehab facility where he could safely quit drinking. Through therapy, he uncovered the serious effect the abuse had on him, and decided to seek legal action against his abuser. Michael was met with confidence that she would face charges, but after three days was told no action would be taken, “because [he] was fourteen and not thirteen, and the sex was consensual.” Once again, Michael’s abuse was trivialized and ignored.
Michael used research as a tool for his anger, and found that women make up 20% of sexual abuse. He also found that 67% of men who reported sexual abuse to hotlines were told, “We only help women.” Michael began posting the information he found online. He gained traction and support, and was a guest on many podcasts like this one.
Michael is now working on his own podcast, where he plans to interview other survivors, as well as mental health professionals, researchers, detectives and attorneys. He’s adamant that male and female victims are in this together, and he hopes that listeners do something positive with their anger. He encourages listeners to reach out if they have a story, need to talk, or have a loved one that needs help.
Listen in to learn more about Michael’s experience as a foster parent, his journey with rehabilitation and therapy, and statistics surrounding male sexual abuse.
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
Joining me today is Alyssa Chambers, a mother of 2 and owner of Bonnie’s Joy Pinup. She has quite the journey to share, and is here to speak loud about putting in the work of ‘de-programming’ abuse, both in victim and abuser. She’s currently working with a trauma coach, which is what she describes as the difference between her and her abusers: that she is actively working on becoming a better person.
Alyssa grew up in an environment that had rampant forms of abuse. Her parents taught her by example to deal with things in an unhealthy way, oftentimes with alcohol or drugs. She describes her parents as ill-equipped and not present in her childhood. The circumstances she grew up in left her and her siblings at risk for predators, trauma, and abuse.
There was no one instance of trauma or traumatic event in her life. What she needed to truly heal was a sense of stability. Alyssa values where she came from, but wouldn’t wish it on anyone else. No child deserves to grow up in such harsh circumstances, but she recognizes that every part of her journey has made her the person that she is now.
Alyssa says that it’s ultimately up to her daughter to stop the cycle of abuse in her lifetime. Just like with any of her partners, she can’t force her daughter to heal. It’s something you have to choose for yourself, Alyssa claims. Even though she has supported her daughter through copious traumas, she recognizes the autonomy in deciding to choose a better narrative for yourself.
Alyssa struggles to choose better for herself, too, but is actively working to improve. Her programming tells her deep down that she deserves less than a healthy relationship, and while she may know otherwise logically, her programming urges her back into that cycle.
While it can be frustrating and upsetting to unlearn these tendencies, Alyssa knows that the longer you work on yourself, the happier you’re going to be. Ultimately, she’s thankful for the things that she’s gone through, because it’s allowed her to become a better, kinder person. She can have more empathy for people who have gone through horrifying things because she has also gone through them. She can relate to and empathize even with her abusers, showing endless compassion for people. As she says, there is no magic pill, and it takes a lot of work, but in the end it is always worth it to follow your instinct and change your life.
Listen in to hear Alyssa’s experiences with abusive relationships, her journey with sobriety, and the other ways in which she’s unlearning abusive programming.
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
Today I’m joined by Shelli Howells, an alignment coach, crystal reiki master, and light language practitioner. Shelli is “not afraid of the dark,” having recovered from trauma and 11 years of a chronic autoimmune disease. She guides her clients in soul-lead healing, championing the small and encouraging transformation.
Shelli, along with her sisters and cousins, experienced sexual abuse from her grandfather at a young age. For many years, Shelli had to compartmentalize her trauma into an imaginary thing. Her grandfather was “the monster under the bed,” the abuse a bad dream she blocked out.
Part of Shelli’s healing was confronting that trauma years later, after her younger sister brought the experiences to light. She had to forgive herself for not being able to protect herself and the more vulnerable, and make peace with the past after her grandfather had died. Having come out the other side, Shelli’s grateful for her history preparing her to be who she is now.
Shelli states her trauma brought her body to a place of shrinkage, inviting severe, chronic lyme disease. She missed out on countless parts of her life, barely able to go out to dinner without being resigned to bed for weeks at a time. For 11 years, she was angry at her body--until realizing her body was trying to send her a message.
One day, Shelli heard the title of a book: “Feelings Buried Alive Never Die.” The words resonated deeply with her, catapulting her journey into energy work. She became a certified crystal reiki master, learned alignment coaching, and ultimately discovered light language.
One of Shelli’s practices is light language. She describes it as a universal, multidimensional language that channels healing. The power of light language is that it bypasses the logical mind to speak to the heart.
Shelli currently offers three certification courses: one for light language, one for intuitive gifts, and one to connect with what she calls your ‘entourage.’ An entourage is a spiritual support system that lends you energy and strength. Shelli says that most people come out of their first session in disbelief that they are so supported.
Listen in to experience a light language session with Shelli, learn what modalities have been most effective in her healing, and what resources Shelli uses in her practice.
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Join a session on Shelli's Facebook or learn more on her website
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
Today I’m joined by Amanda Ferrat, founder of “Value Yourself Counseling,” certified Emotional Wellness Counselor, and EFT practitioner. Amanda is a queer, disabled woman who strives to create safe spaces for women to empower and guide them through grief and hardship.
Raised in Montana, Amanda was sassy and outspoken from the start. But as she grew up, Amanda found her voice silenced by those around her. It wasn’t until she went to college that she started to “ask for forgiveness rather than permission.” Amanda believes she’s so outspoken now because of how much she was shut down as a child.
During college, Amanda lost several loved ones. Within two years, she was out of fingers and toes to count them on. With her life derailed, Amanda decided to take a step back from school for her mental health. As the dust settled, she asked, “How am I going to use this?” The universe was telling her she was ready to move on to something new.
Amanda realized her business, “Value Yourself Coaching,” to work as a grief and self-care coach. During the pandemic, she pushed herself to learn as much as possible. As part of that learning, Amanda enrolled in a Wellness Certification Program. At the same time, she discovered EFT tapping, and from just one session was all-in on this new magic.
In her business, Amanda believes in taking everything she’s learned and teaching it to others. If she’s able to pass on some of her own healing, then she’s doing what she was born to do. As she says, “Healing never ends.” We are constantly growing, and there are always more layers to peel back.
EFT tapping is a deepened kind of healing. In her practice, Amanda digs deep into her clients’ emotions. “I help women make peace with their past, fall in love with their present, and get excited about their future,” she says. Her sessions are at minimum 90 minutes, but it all depends on the individual client and what they need. Amanda’s willing to work with them on anything, from meditation and journaling to introducing new healing modalities like crystalwork or reiki.
Amanda hopes listeners come away knowing it’s alright to struggle, and that they’re not alone. She’s someone who unapologetically wears her heart on her sleeve, and wants to help women unlock that “inner badass” so they can live their life again.
Listen in to hear the science behind EFT tapping, how Amanda coped with loss, and what inspires her healing in the present day.
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
Today I am joined by Tracey Osborne, CEO of the Global Association for Trauma Recovery and a certified trauma recovery coach. A ‘survivor and thriver’ of abuse, Tracy uses her voice to raise awareness, connect with other survivors, and provide resources to help heal trauma globally.
Early life for Tracey was turbulent and confusing. Her parents separated when she was 5, causing feelings of abandonment that followed her into adulthood. She went from living with both parents to living with her grandmother, and later her father and step-mother. Her step-mother was the first perpetrator of abuse: narcissistic, manipulative, and invasive of Tracey’s privacy.
At age 15, she was sent to Canada for a year to live with family she had never met. This ended up being the best year of her life, and she learned what healthy parenting looked like. She also met the boy who would later become her husband.
In adulthood, Tracey had several abusive relationships. She had been pregnant twice by the age of 23. She explains how she went through relationship after relationship, always searching for something better but ending up with the same type of man. She often left relationships out of fear of abandonment. She was always looking for the next best thing, easily bored with partners and often having another man lined up when she left a relationship.
In 2013, Tracey reconnected with her now late-husband after their time in Canada. They were married for 5 years, during which Tracey began healing her trauma. She discovered on a podcast that she had an addiction to love and relationships: a realization that allowed her to change her patterns and break the pattern of abuse in her life. Whenever she would drift back to her old ways, she would tell herself, “This is the addiction talking. This isn’t what we’re looking for.”
As a mother, Tracey was very vocal with her daughters. She was open and honest about her past, teaching them what an abusive situation looks like and how to ask for help. Now, her oldest daughter is teaching her granddaughters the same things.
As she moved forward, Tracey knew that she wanted to help women, but was unsure of what that looked like. After the passing of her husband, she knew it meant helping people overcome trauma. As a recovery coach, she didn’t feel right charging her patients, which led her to start the Global Association for Trauma Recovery. Tracey’s belief is that every survivor deserves a chance to thrive, and she has made sure that resources for healing are available to anyone that needs it.
Listen in to hear how Tracey released her fear of abandonment, learned the skills to build her business, and how she helps survivors today.
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment
In this episode, I talk to author, speaker, and professional bodybuilder Jewels. Jewels wrote "The Making of a Woman: From the Inside Out" and is here to speak about childhood abuse, alcoholism, recovery and rediscovery. Jewels hopes she can reach people and show that ‘it’--whatever ‘it’ is--is not pretty, but is possible.
Jewels describes her early life as the 'first stage,' one that she had to endure to evolve. The first Jewels was small, and according to her, scared. Suddenly one-in-five kids after her mother remarried, Jewels suffered abuse in the shadows. Her silence was her way of coping with the abuse, which went on for three years.
At 14 she dropped out of school and left home. She had started drinking, drugs, and brought those bad habits into adulthood. Jewels was 'functioning with a 10-year-old's idea of what adults do.' She lacked guidance. But during this time, her mother was her rock as she was her cheerleader when Jewels was 'circling the drain,’ and handed Jewels her first 30-day sobriety chip. Jewels’ mother died a year after Jewels became sober.
For 19 years, Jewels struggled to get her feet under herself long enough to go it alone. Even in the depths of alcoholism, she had a mission to be independent. Her initial push into sobriety had no fireworks, but was no less powerful. After casually mentioning to a pair of women that she wished she didn't drink so much, she was in her first room of recovery within 30 minutes.
The support and attention Jewels received in meetings allowed for an emotional release. Now, she sponsors and speaks for others, which she describes as part of the gift of sobriety.
The title for Jewels’ book came to her in a meditation, after a friend told her she needed to write a book. Jewels put it into the universe that she wanted to share her story, and in six months she had finsihed her book.
Listen in to hear what Jewels would tell her past self, how she unlearned the false truths others taught her, and how she transformed her fight-or-flight instincts into an energy for change.
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Buy Jewels’ book on her website
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.**
In this episode, I talk with AnneMarie Shrouder, a diversity and inclusion speaker and consultant. She’s the author of, “Being Brown in a Black-and-White World: Conversations for Leaders about Race, Racism and Belonging,” and a mother. Today, she’s here to talk about the reality of being “bi-racial” in a world that encourages you to choose one or the other.
AnneMarie was raised in Montreal by two immigrant parents: a mother from Austria and a father from Jamaica. Growing up, AnneMarie was more connected to her mother’s side of her family. But in many social situations, she was either 'too black' or 'too white' to fit in. She felt pressured to choose one or the other, and didn't come to the realization that she could choose 'both, and,' until adulthood. Overcoming that polarization of 'either or' was an most empowering part of her journey.
AnneMarie talks about some of the struggles she’s faced in raising her daughter. Her daughter racially identifies as black, while AnneMarie identifies as bi-racial. While she made it a priority to instill pride in her daughter's identity, she was floored when her daughter went through a phase of wanting to be white. Friends and colleagues reminded her, however, that she lived in a world built on--and for--whiteness. It’s easier to be white, and AnneMarie’s daughter saw that, even at a young age.
Despite being at a disadvantage in some aspects of her child’s identity, AnneMarie prioritized exposing her child to black culture. They spent seven months in Barbados with her child’s grandparents. AnneMarie marveled at how much her daughter grew when surrounded by black people. Her friends, her teachers, their public figures, were all black.
AnneMarie initially avoided writing her book, “Being Brown in a Black-and-White World.” She stared writing when she was pregnant, and intended to write about how her daughter came to be. But in the process, a different book poked its head out. Although it wasn’t what AnneMarie set out to write at first, it was something she realized had to be said.
Her personal journey is intertwined with her business in diversity and inclusion. Because of this, it made sense to write not just a book on business or a personal story, but to write them together. AnneMarie’s book could technically be read for just the business or the personal side. But she hopes that by putting them together, she encourages people to truly see each other. She believes that everyone loses when we don’t see all of who someone is.
Listen in to hear AnneMarie’s take on the effect of the internet and technology on racism, the instances she felt the most discriminated against, and how she’s making the world a better place for her daughter.
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Today's guest is Murielle Fellous, we are speaking about emotional mastery through EFT tapping. Murielle is a single mother of 3, who discovered EFT while raising her teenage children. Her journey inspired her to create ‘Co-Parenting With the Universe,’ through which she helps single moms in their own journeys through parenthood.
Murielle felt herself spiraling during her kids' teenage years. She discovered EFT tapping as a powerful tool to interrupt those spirals. She used EFT first on herself, and later on her kids, and saw amazing results.
She now practices clinical EFT, which she shares in her coaching. Her goal is to prevent other women from going where she went during her struggles as a single mother. Murielle says that falling into the depths of anxiety or depression helps no one: not the moms, not the kids.
EFT works by soothing the nervous system while thinking about an emotional stressor. By tapping meridian points on the body, EFT eases the physical response we feel to anxiety or trauma.
According to Murielle, repetition is key. She calls it as a path in the grass: if you don't walk in it, the grass is going to grow back. She recommends tapping every time you feel anxiety or have recurring thoughts. This helps your body understand that there is no threat, and frees you from a trap of anxiety or depression.
Murielle describes ‘co-parenting with the universe’ with a metaphor. Energy is like an elevator, she explains. You stop at the floor at which you vibrate. If you’re giving off helplessness, you’re going to come out on the floor where everything you see reminds you of your helplessness. But if you vibrate hope, you’ll begin to see things that give you hope. Murielle saw this phenomenon in her own life, and hopes listeners will 'tap in' and find the same.
Listen in to experience an EFT session with Murielle, hear her talk about her struggles as a single mother, and how opening up to new solutions from the universe changed her and her kids’ lives.
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In this episode, I’m chatting with Danny Greeves, who’s across the pond in Norwich, England. Danny is a physio and hypnotherapist, author, and winner of the Prestige 2021 Life Coach of the Year Award for London. He also has a 12-week program called “Speak Up and Stand Out” where he helps people realize their value and express it to the world.
With bright orange hair, Danny didn’t always get much of a choice in being seen as a child. He found it hard to express himself and be emotionally vulnerable. This struggle followed him into adulthood, as he floundered in relationships.
Once he made the decision to seek help, Danny became fascinated with how the mind works. The more he learned, the more confident he became. This snowballed into a desire to work professionally, and a love for helping others have more self-confidence. Within ten days after deciding to get help, Danny met the woman who would later become his wife.
After thorough research, Danny “cracked a code” and devised his 12-week program that consistently helps clients learn who they are and how to share with the world. The program is grounded in examining your own unique history and translating this to your current self. As Danny puts it, “the past is full of breadcrumbs of how we got here today.” The program has several practical strategies for self-confidence that become a habit by the end of the 12 weeks.
Danny emphasizes that communication is universal. His program can be for anyone, both in professional and everyday life. He’s worked with teachers, businessmen, and parents alike in achieving their lifestyle goals.
One of Danny’s specialties is hypnotherapy. While most people misconstrue hypnotherapy for what they see on TV, Danny describes hypnotherapy as a deep trance-like state of relaxation, that allows for a lot of change in a short amount of time. This deep state of comfortability allows the mind to make different connections and release emotions from the past without a whole lot of conscious effort. Most people enjoy hypnotherapy once they learn the process.
Listen in to find out how Danny began his own journey with expressing self-confidence, what voids and values in childhood shaped his life as an adult, and what free resources are available to help you jumpstart your self-confidence journey.
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In this episode, I’m chatting with Christine, a podcast producer who has worked under Louis Hauz and his production company for several years. Christine teaches people how to podcast like a pro. “I train teams to become in-house media producers.”
Finding a Common Thread Amongst Successful Guests
Deciding to leave her corporate job, Christine cold-called a podcast producer and convinced him to produce his show. Moving to LA, she learned her new career on the job. During this time in her life, she was exposed to famous, successful people and realized the throughline for the guests. “Everyone had a rock-bottom moment, a reckoning of their worth, and a key decision where they pivoted and followed their calling.” In addition, the guests found their self-worth, which gave them the means to become successful.
Coming Into the World with Innate Worth
The idea that we are already full of worth has meaning for Christine; she calls it "worthful" - the concept being that we are always full of worth. Exploring the concept on her podcast eventually evolved into a blog and her own podcast. "When we know our worth, we show up and contribute our best to the world because we know that we have it in us and we want to evolve along the way."
Christine is passionate about sharing what she's learned and hopes her listeners know that no matter what you've been through, your worth is intact. It isn't determined--or shaken--by your job, circumstances, or society. Instead, worth is within you, ready for you once you're ready for it.
Listen in to find out how Christine invested in her own worth, what tools she recommends for beginning your own worthful-ness journey, and her advice for getting through the uncertain times we face now.
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In this episode, I’m chatting with Terry Tucker, who is a resident of Denver, Colorado, a father of one daughter who is a Lieutenant in the Space Force and a husband of 28 years. Besides playing in the NCAA, Terry has also authored a book, is a blogger, and has been an officer on the local SWAT team where he lived, and is currently battling a rare form of cancer.
Family and Sports
While he had a great family growing up, Terry was picked on because of his height. At the age of 13, he grew to 6’5”, with big ears and a size 14 shoe. Fortunately for Terry, he was great at basketball, which landed him a scholarship to college. After several knee surgeries,
Terry learned several life skills from his days playing ball. The biggest lesson he learned from playing a team sport is the necessity to do your job as a player and learning that everyone is in the game together - the game he played and the game of life.
From Athlete to SWAT Team
The oldest of three boys, Terry was one of three athletes in the home, all standing at 6’5” and higher. After graduating from college, he moved home to find a job and landed a corporate job with Wendy’s restaurant chain. For the next three years, Terry was at home while working his new job taking care of his father and grandmother who were both terminally ill with different types of cancers.
After his corporate job, he worked as a high school administrator for a stint and then went on to get a position in the local SWAT team, acting as the SWAT team hostage negotiator and undercover cop busting drug dealers.
Living the LIfe Terry Needed to Lead for Himself
Terry’s grandfather was a cop during prohibition and the Al Capone days of Chicago. His grandfather and his dad wanted him to steer clear of law enforcement, however; Terry decided that he needed to live his life for him, not for others.
Listen in to find out howTerry has survived his rare form of cancer, how he created his book from his battle with cancer, and how he carried on after losing his leg after having it removed from cancer.
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In this episode, I’m chatting with Lily Walford. Lily is an international relationship and dating coach specializing in behavioral profiling and body language. Lily is inspired and excited by having the creative freedom to use her passion for psychology and behavioral change to help relationships worldwide.
Many people don’t realize the abuse that goes on in a relationship with this type of person. After three years of being in this relationship, Lily ended the relationship. However, her ex-boyfriend stalked her for the next five years. She went into two more toxic relationships and couldn’t figure out why she attracted these negative people.
After using several behavioral therapy modalities, she found behavioral profiling and reading body language. These skills gave her the confidence to find the right relationship.
When you love someone, you tend to make excuses for their behavior, known as confirmation bias. “We justify their behavior. When you’re in these types of situations, you create a story that allows you to be in that relationship.” Even though the relationship starts out great, it quickly goes downhill with control and abuse.
Someone narcissistic has an undeveloped empathy part of the brain. As a result, you have a person who can’t connect and can’t empathize. Missing facial expressions and loving behaviors from parents and caregivers will leave the child without empathy. Then, the person will grow up attempting to mimic empathy, using it as a tool to control and manipulate others.
Listen in to find out why you can’t change a narcissist, the difference between narcissistic traits and a true narcissist, and how you can break away from a narcissistic relationship.
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Please welcome my guest Cindy Mulonas! She lives outside of Detroit, Michigan, and is the mother of three children. In addition, she has coached many high-profile personalities in her work and has helped them overcome childhood abuse.
Being Attracted to Toxic Relationships
“For some reason, in the past, I was attracted to people who were not good for me.” She met her boyfriend in high school and was dating him for some time when they moved to Michigan together. He publicly ridiculed and mocked Cindy, including making fun of her when she gained weight. After three years, she left that relationship and entered into another more abusive one.
Looking Back at her Journals
When she looks back at her journals, she can see the patterns of abuse and what she lived through. At the age of 24, her boyfriend was gaslighting her and blaming her for all relationship issues. Cindy felt that she could change him and make him a different person. These are the moments she wants others to be aware of in relationships and how to avoid these types of people.
Making Excuses to Stay in an Abusive Situation
Cindy realized that she was making excuses about her relationship to stay married. “You stay in an abusive situation because you feel that you aren’t qualified to stand on your own.” Also, your self-esteem can become so low that you don’t believe you can accomplish what you set out to do.
She was the only income earner in the family; however, her husband spent money but refused to work. He took out multiple loans against their home and physically abused her daily. Cindy remembers patching up holes in their walls after he punched through them numerous times. Lastly, they took his dad in their home, who was dying of cancer, and he verbally abused his father on his deathbed.
Listen in to find out how Cindy broke the cycle of abuse and the importance of leaving an abusive relationship.
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Chad Peevy joins me today. He’s an Arkansas native who grew up in an abusive household in a small, rural town. In addition, Chad had to hide his sexuality and learn how to lean into his own truth as an adult.
Growing Up in Arkansas
Some kids grow up with book smarts, some kids grow up with street smarts. Chad had to stay off his dad’s radar at home and tried to manipulate his environment to create safety at school. “For me that meant staying small, quiet, and avoiding confrontation.” At school, he also had a girlfriend to avoid gay slurs and sat on the school council so teachers would like him and offer him a shield of protection. He was constantly shifting and changing to stay safe and wasn’t able to be himself because of his environment.
Changing Survival Skills in Adulthood
As a kid, those survival skills Chad created worked well, but as an adult, he needed to change his tactics with a different set of adult challenges. “I created a mask that I wore with beliefs and mindsets that developed out of necessity.” Although he was successful in business, he was miserable inside as he brought his childhood skills into adulthood. “I had to figure out what was going to make my life better as an adult.
Coming Out Gay
Chad realized at the age of five that he was different from other boys. Later on, as a teen, he realized he had stronger feelings towards boys than girls. Growing up in a fundamentalist baptist church, being gay was strongly looked down upon. “There was no healthy role model for me to grow into.” Today, Chad wants to give words and feelings to others in a similar situation as he was with his new book.
Listen in to find out how Chad came out in college, how he learned to be comfortable with himself, and how he is making an impact in the world today.
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Get Chad’s book and grab a copy today!https://chadpeevy.com/freebook
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My guest is Ashley Michelle, who has resided in London for the past decade. Her book, "Finding Strength Through Tragedy" sheds light on her life and how it was changed forever after she walked into a murder scene, hearing the door lock behind her, and being told she was next! Trusting her intuition helped her to escape, but her life has been filled with PTSD, depression, and anxiety from that moment on.
Writing About Her Healing Process
Instead of letting this traumatic moment take over her life, Ashley chose to write about the steps of her healing process to inspire others to turn around their lives after going through tough times. She wants to let others know they don't have to be a victim their entire life. "I want someone to look at me and say, because of you, I didn't give up!"
Raising Awareness Around Trauma
Ashley wants to be a teaching tool for others to learn how to break free of trauma. Having a childhood of neglect and physical abuse, she brought those aspects into her first relationship in college. Her boyfriend was physically and emotionally abusive, and her parents weren’t there to help her resolve any issues in her life. Luckily, she had a good friend in college who was able to help her get out of that relationship.
Her Grandparents as Ashley’s Support
Even though her parents were neglectful and abusive, her grandparents were a supportive part of her family. “They helped to raise me and taught me how to read and write.” Ashley had a good example of virtuous adult figures with her grandparents.
At the Scene of the Crime
As an adult, Ashley had a new relationship. She and her boyfriend lived in separate apartments. One morning he asked her to come over, locked the door behind her, and told her to clean up a murder scene that he committed. The deceased was a mutual friend. He wanted to have sex with her, threatened to murder her with a knife to her back.
After this experience, she never felt like the same person. “I became anti-social and all I wanted to do was to sleep.” Several months after the incident, she mixed pills and alcohol in a suicide attempt.
Listen in to find out how Ashley turned her situation around, how she pieced back her life, and how she deals with survivor guilt.
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My guest is Tracy Nelson, a medical assistant who has been on the front lines of COVID. She is a mom and empty nester in a new chapter of her life. Tracey talks about her past history of abuse, how she has changed her parenting style since healing and how she dealt with the trauma of losing her youngest child.
Told to Keep Her Childhood Abuse a Secret
As a young child, her abuse started with her father. When she told her mother what had happened, her mother told her not to say anything and keep it a secret. Finally, however, she did report the abuse, and her father only received a year of mandated counseling.
Being in and out of rehab from suicide attempts and eating disorders, Tracey wasn’t able to deal with the trauma and lack of consequence her father received for abusing her so severely. Then, at the age of 18, he abused her again. She moved out of her home and, at 24, realized she was pregnant. “My son saved my life,” she says, as she was drinking and doing drugs at the time. Her pregnancy gave her the chance to turn around her life.
How Her Dad Shows Love
Her father, when confronted with the sexual abuse, says that’s just how he shows love. So she sent a letter to her stepmom telling her of the sexual abuse she endured with her dad when her stepmom was pregnant with their daughter. The only response she received was a note from her bishop that she should forgive her father and move on.
Flipping the Relationship Switch before Marriage
Her second husband was emotionally abusive to their family pet, the children, and to Tracey. “He would be really threatening and we would all walk on eggshells.” Most of their children don’t have a relationship with their dad now, but they are very close to Tracey.
Listen in to find out how Tracey succeeded in finding a trustworthy relationship, what modalities Tracey is using to heal, and how she uses Shadowwork to heal her emotional hurt.
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My guest is Dawna Campbell the Mind Whisperer, who has knowledge that can assist in restoring and creating a life of happiness, prosperity, and love. With over 25 years of experience in the financial advisor realm, Dawna’s book, Financially Fit, is an Amazon #1 Best Seller.
She grew up in an environment which set her on the path to experiencing abuse later in life. “I grew up in a household that was pretty angry and I didn’t know that we were meant to live in a state of anger.” No matter the discussion topic, the emotion that bled out from her mother was always anger. As a kid, she received and absorbed much of the anger in her home, including physical abuse. “There was always retribution going on, even if I was just sitting there quietly.” This set the stage for her later in life to receive abuse from others.
Modeling Adult Relationships From Childhood Experiences
Since she didn’t know any different, she modeled her adult relationships after the abusive relationship with her mother. “It’s not until you see that pattern and break it that you can truly move forward.” She experienced anger in her marriage but thought that it was OK because it was better than the anger she endured growing up.
Breaking Childhood Abuse Patterns
When she was in a financial advisory position in her career, Dawna realized through a series of events that she needed to change. Taking a break from her financial career, she moved into a spiritual community to discover who she truly was without the layers of emotional garbage placed upon her. Unfortunately, the partner she met in the community was emotionally and physically abusive towards her, similar to her mother. Her breaking point came about when she realized that she didn’t have to live with abuse.
Meeting a medicine woman, she started studying with her to relieve the emotional impact of her childhood. What she learned from her saved Dawna’s life and is the basis for the message she shares today.
Empowering Your Children
Because her children grew up in an environment that Dawna created for them that was empowering for her children, her kids, now grown, make their decisions as mature adults. “They’ve grown up in an environment that I created around healing energy, and how our thoughts work in the world.”
Listen in to find out how Dawna is shifting the story of abuse in her life, how she has empowered her children, and the epigenetic factors in generational abuse.
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My guest is Keisher Glymph, a leader, motivational speaker, and creator who is spreading the message of finding your voice as a female. She loves giving space for creativity, being your best self, and showing up in the world as your authentic self to share your voice with the globe.
Although she doesn’t remember all the details, Keisher remembers the time, day, environment, and what happened to her the night she had two babysitters, one of them was male. They wanted her to stay quiet about what happened, and it took her years to understand what happened to her emotionally and how deeply this experience affected her. “I started noticing it in relationships,” says Keisher, “I could notice that pulling back and being quiet was an effect over time.” She often closed off her heart and didn’t understand how to say no because she felt that she didn’t have a voice.
Having been sexually abused as a young girl at the age of nine, Keisher realizes that being abused can create gaps in memory. “One of the reasons I was inspired to come back to my childhood home is because I wanted to do more childhood healing.” Being the middle child, she was different from her other two siblings. “My childhood was fun and I was a quiet girl, but often misunderstood.”
“Whether it ended up in a deeper emotional situation or it was young boys going through puberty, I was the one who would get the ‘freaky’ part of the game.” Spending the night with a friend or being at home, her cousins and her friend’s cousins would often want to pull her into a closet or find a quiet corner to play around. She didn’t know how to speak up and maneuver around these situations.
Even though her mother was lovely and accommodating, she was submissive to her father, who was dominating. Her mom didn’t have a voice in the relationship with her dad. Keisher says that her father was all bark and no bite and didn’t know or understand how to lead without instilling fear in others. “This experience taught me that I couldn’t be my full voice.”
Listen in to find out how Keisher’s experience growing up was different than her sibling’s experience in the same household, how her father was led by fear and the dynamics of her relationship with her dad.
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My guest is Lana Elco, a relationship and intimacy coach who focuses on the tantric, sacred unity approach and has worked with cross-cultural couples and women from all over the world in their relationships for more than 10 years. She is a proponent of feminine empowerment. Ukrainian-born Lana moved to California, where she met her soul partner and started her life from scratch.
Lana has a Master’s Degree in social and political sciences, business administration, studied transpersonal psychology and is certified with Grof Transpersonal Training. She has also trained in NVC (Non-Violent Communication), Zegg Psychodrama, Intimacy, and Tantra.
Having a great childhood in Ukraine, Lana experienced her trauma in the United States. She worked on deep healing work on ancestral trauma at a spiritual retreat in the desert when she had a man attack her emotionally. “It took a while for me to process and understand what had happened to me,” says Lana of her experience. In her healing journey from this experience, she realized that her attacker hadn’t completed his healing journey.
“There’s forgiving and letting go and then there’s removing the trauma from your body,” Lana explains. However, she realized that even though she had forgiven and moved on, she still fears that this could happen again.
When she started working with women on a deeper level, she realized that many women weren’t experiencing their authentic feminine energy in expanded states of consciousness. “When feminism movement happened, I believed that was necessary for women to become powerful and claim their rights and freedoms.” Instead, however, many women became powerful in a masculine way, representing the feminine. “They were basically mimicking hte masculine to become powerful.” Likewise, says Lana, because women only had other men in the patriarch to look up to, for example.
These days, we are moving through another wave of feminine empowerment. Lana explains, “We want to do things the way men do it, we can still do things on our own and be powerful in a feminine way.”
Lana says we need to remember our feminine power. She reminds us that there are periods in different cultures that women and men were of equal power when we look at The Pyramid Code. “We can see it in there art - women and men holding hands on the thrown” she gives other examples as well. “We have to collaborate, so there’s no competition for power.”
Listen in to find out when females lost control of power, how patriarchal societies tried to erase feminine power, and the essence of the mother wound, and how this causes cyclical abuse.
Resources Mentioned
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Lana Elko Tantric Relationship Coach on the web
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.***
At the age of three, her mother had a tenant in their home who abused her, along with an uncle who also abused her at the age of seven. As an adult, she was in a constant state of trauma, and as a result, Anu attracted abusive partners into her life. “It was a constant, vicious cycle of darkness and attracting horrible partners into my life.”
Jumping from One Relationship to Another
“I was so scared of being alone,” says Anu, “and I think it’s because I was so vulnerable and other people picked up on this.” She felt that she needed a partner in her life to give her the love she wasn’t able to give herself. Her choices of partners were manipulative and physically and mentally abusive.
Spiritual Healing for Trauma
Anu has tried different western and eastern modalities for healing, and one method she has used with great success is reiki. She has been attuned with reiki and has achieved her level 1, level 2, and master reiki levels. “I felt more intuitive and I can pick up on people’s energies,” says Anu. “Reiki has transformed my life and helped to protect me from bad people and negative energies.”
Meditation for Healing Trauma
“I feel that meditation helps to center and ground us, and it helps us to understand who we are as beings.” Meditation is being and separates us from doing, which gives us peace and understanding into our own lives.
Listen in to find out how yoga changed her life for the better, how her travels helped her heal, and how she is navigating finding a new partner who she can love and trust in her life.
Resources Mentioned
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Victim 2 Victor on the web
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.***
Today I’m talking to Lizbeth Meredith is a speaker and former child abuse investigator. She has also authored the book Pieces of Me: Rescuing My Kidnapped Daughters. In addition, she is a retired juvenile probation supervisor.
With family violence, parental alienation, control issues, physical abuse, and a large amount of chaos in her home, Lizbeth realized that she wanted a different life for herself from an early age. So she transitioned from her abusive home to an abusive marriage and found herself in Europe in her twenties looking for her kidnapped girls. “I came from a really controlling environment and I was looking for someone to save me.”
Her mother had kidnapped her and her female siblings and moved to Alaska to avoid getting caught. Her mother, having been married to multiple men, had children from several different fathers. Lizbeth didn’t know who her real father was until she was 20, as her mom told her that her stepdad was her real father.
Growing up, she remembers being physically abused if her siblings didn’t follow her mother’s directions exactly. “For the kids in the family, the most damaging part was that we were forced to shun anyone she was angry with.” Even if the person she was mad at was a sibling, the other siblings had to stay away from her if they didn’t want backlash from her mother, which was sent away from home.
Lizbeth experienced guilt growing up as she was favored by her mom, so she didn’t have the most extreme repercussions. “She was funny and amazing and adored me at times,” which was an emotionally manipulative space to be in the family.
Looking back, Lizbeth wishes she had given herself some time to heal before going out to find a life partner. But, instead, her mom and others in her family wanted to push all this behind them and never speak about the trauma and abuse or what happened to their family.
After being strangled by her husband in front of their daughter, she decided to leave the marriage. At that point, she decided to leave the relationship and never look back. Lizbeth wanted a life without abuse, and she consciously made a choice to have a better life.
Listen in to find out how she was able to leave her abusive husband, how her children were kidnapped, and how she was able to rescue her children and get them back.
Resources Mentioned
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Connect with Lizbeth on the web
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.***
We know and understand that abuse happens to people daily. We also know that when we talk about emotional or mental abuse it can be partially perception. It is the physical and sexual abuse that leaves physical scarring that we can see and document.
The Importance of Having an Episode Takeaway
Whether the person that is being interviewed is accurately telling their story or not, the purpose of my podcast is for victims of abuse to learn how to thrive. Learning comes from listening to other’s stories and having an actionable takeaway for them to move forward with their own healing.
In this episode, Listen in to find out why healing is a journey and a constant in survivors lives, why I experience anxiety more in the winter months, and my experience with my dad when we visited Hawaii together.
I’m excited to chat with my guest Nadia Bruce Rawlings, a survivor of multiple forms of childhood abuse and whose written two memoirs, Scars and Driving in the Rain. In addition to being an author, Nadia travels the world. She worked in the film industry in Los Angeles for a time. She and her husband live in Nashville, Tennesee, where she writes and raises her six children and fur baby.
Almost all of her relatives on her father’s side of the family were alcoholics, including her father. “He was very Jekyll and Hyde when he drank and very verbally abusive to the kids and his wife.” In addition to the verbal abuse, there was a period where Nadia remembers him being physically abusive to her mother. She found that her parents were both emotionally vacant. As a result of her upbringing, Nadia sought out abusive, dysfunctional relationships, not knowing what a loving relationship looked like.
Nadia picked up her first drink at the young age of 12. Living overseas at the time, she didn’t find hard drugs but could buy marijuana and started smoking pot in high school. “When I came to the States, I found speed and cocaine my senior year of high school.” Although she eventually stopped drugging, she continued to drink.
After her mom died from her battle with lung cancer, Nadia started smoking crack daily for the next four years and shoplifted to pay for her addiction. She was incarcerated and accumulated two felonies before going to rehab for six months. Seeing her crackhead friends and her dealer in the street outside her bedroom window, she was determined to get her life back.
Ending up in rehab for six months due to her drinking and crack addiction, Nadia has spent the last 23 years of her recovery helping other women get sober. She also assists them in beating the cycle of abuse and addiction.
Using her upbringing as a relationship example, Nadia found herself looking for “bad boys” to have a relationship. “I often found myself dating musicians and thinking they were sensitive because they wrote sensitive songs.” In actuality, they were very emotionally vacant, similar to her parents.
Listen in to find out how Nadia worked through the process of addiction and grief, why she decided to write her book, and how she found solace in writing.
Resources Mentioned
Contact Nadia
Pick up one of Nadia’s books
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast and guest comments, opinions, and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.***
I’m excited about my return guest, Joe Dennis, from episode 08 of Speak Loud Podcast. Joe is our leading referral partner here on Speak Loud Podcast. Joe blends unique meditative practices and philosophy with highly sought-after techniques such as EMDR, Brain-spotting, dream analysis, and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy to create insightfully inspired and lasting impacts with his clients.
REBT, CBT, and DBT are forms of behavioral therapy that are commonly used in Utah. “These are useful with clients that want to form a new habit.” This approach determines how you are interpreting information and the behavior resulting from your interpretation. Joe works with clients using this approach as he finds this format more practical. “But even then, I don’t believe the behavioral approaches tend to go deep enough.”
“Existential theory allows integration of other approaches,” which gives Joe and his team the ability to look at the type of trauma and the meaning associated with the trauma experienced in the individual.
“When working with trauma, you’re not working with the traumatic event itself, you’re working with the meaning of it.” Joe explains how your unconscious mind processed and reacted to your trauma is the root of the issue for people.
RRT therapy boasts the claim that you can heal trauma in six sessions. This therapy also works with the conscious mind, along with the unconscious mind, delving into the mammalian and the logical, adult brain. “The fact that they are so sure about [their claim] makes me fascinated by this modality.” This specific type of therapy focuses on the unconscious mind and the meaning that it attributes to an event.
“Humor brings us back to the present and gives us the ability to process stuff.” Because we can’t be in the past to process traumatic events, humor gives the therapist the ability to bring them back to the present and is a grounding technique he uses in his practice.
Resources Mentioned
Visit Joe Dennis on the web
Checkout Mindful Counseling Utah Resources
Take a look at their Mental Health Workshops
Check out Episode 08 with Joe Dennis
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.***
I’m excited about my guest Renee Sinning, a team coach who helps teens feel confident, motivated, and worthy. She has spent her career teaching and mentoring teens. Her years in the classroom teaching, coaching, and mentoring teens, along with her own personal experience as a mom of three children, have given her tools and strategies she passes along to her teens to create a life where they can find peace and happiness.
Working with Teens in a Different Capacity
After moving several times for her husband’s job, Renee decided she didn’t want to be attached to the school year calendar but wanted to offer teens the benefit of her experience. “I saw a lot of teens fall through the cracks, for different reasons. I had some powerful relationships with some of the teens and I was able to help them with coaching outside of the classroom.”
While coaching was the most significant impact and most memorable experience for Renee, she realized there were many more teens with low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence who needed help getting through their teen years. “The biggest common denominator that I’ve seen is the lack of self-confidence and worth.” When she left the classroom, she wanted to make a difference in the lives of teens and discovered coaching.
The Middle Child Syndrome
We often hear about the middle child falling through the cracks, and Renee is no exception. Her middle child is on the Asperberger’s scale and was adopted from Russia, so she isn’t sure about the first few months of his history. “However, I don’t know that I even completely believe that [the middle child syndrome] because I’ve seen kids that were challenged but each child is a different experience.”
Each Child with Unique Superpowers and Weaknesses
“Each teen needs to be seen, heard and valued,” says Renee. This is the difference between being with a kid and being connected with a teen. “They won’t always let you in, but there are some kids that I was able to connect with at a deeper level.” Kids that are struggling need to see their self-worth. Most kids who Renee taught won’t ever use algebra again in their life, but they will use the soft skills and self-esteem they learn from coaching.
Resources Mentioned
Visit Renee on the web
Connect with Renee on LinkedIn
Follow Renee on Instagram
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.***
I’m excited about my guest Kerrie Hummingbird, a soul guide and host of the Soul Nectar podcast. She is also the author of Love is Fierce: Healing the Mother Wound. Kerrie inspires others to lead their life with authenticity, passion, and purpose. She is a catalyst of life-changing and shows others how to find their life path.
Kerrie’s Trauma Story
Kerrie was a child in the summer of love in 1969. Her mother was raised in Texas with a solid religious background but was rebellious and didn’t want to follow social rules. She was good at rejecting aspects of her life that didn’t lead her to be free. Her mother moved to the city and met her father. Her father was a victim of chronic abuse and neglect. He abused Kerrie, and so her mother left her father for another man who was alcoholic and also physically abusive to Kerrie and her mother.
Her Positive Male Role Model
After leaving her second husband, her mother found her third husband, who was supportive of both Kerrie and her mother. Although she finally found stability in her life at age five, the years of abuse she had endured have led her to realize the impact of her trauma in her ability to relate to others and process her emotions.
Ancestral Trauma, Memories, and Healing
“We have inherited traumas that are cycling through my line, and the newest version shows up in you.” She started healing with talk therapy but didn’t have much success because her trauma was mainly pre-verbal. She decided to practice ancestral Healing for her journey. “All of the trauma experiences are like icicles that need to be melted so you can experience your own transformation.”
Ancestral Healing is effective for those who have traumatic or addiction events where the same event is repeatedly happening. “Part of it is ancestral and keeps rippling down the line from family to family.” When you search your family, you may be able to find the origin moment where your ancestral trauma started.” Inherited patterns that aren’t healed become part of your ancestral memories and are placed into your DNA passed on to your children.
Resources Mentioned
Visit Kerri on the web
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.***
Denise Bossarte Is a survirvor of sexual abuse and has spent her adulthood healing herself from the abuse she has experienced in life. She is an award-winning writer, author and photographer and certified mediation facilitator and holds a PhD in Neuroscience.
Her Past Story
Her mother’s father was the source of sexual abuse to her as a young child. “It mostly happened when we spent the summers with my grandparents on the lake.” her parents didn’t know what was happening, and the abuse continued until her sophomore year in high school when her grandfather died. “I learned to disassociate from my body when the abuse was happening and really disconnected in many ways to survive.
Denise’s memories came flooding back after her grandfather died, and she had to learn how to process her trauma. Because she had accolades at school for being a good student, Denise latched onto her schooling for positive reinforcement. She kept herself busy so she wouldn’t have to deal with the trauma.
First Relationship
She started dating late in high school and into college, where she met her first serious boyfriend, a former alcoholic. Denise told her boyfriend about her abuse, and he realized she needed help and assisted her in getting help. “That was the first time I was able to go to a counselor who got me into a group of women survivors.” She learned how many others had gone through sexual trauma and found out that her talk therapy wasn’t enough to move forward in her life.
Alternative Modalities for Healing Trauma
Denise explored and tried many different alternative healing modalities such as mediation and yoga. While experimenting with healing modalities, she found a system that worked for her in her healing journey.
Why Write Her Book on Abuse
When Denise heard the story of the gymnast who had been sexually abused, this triggered her to write her story. She has coined the term “Thriver” as she wanted her story to feel that she moved beyond her abuse and is now enjoying herself and her life.
Resources Mentioned
Visit Denise on the web
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.***
Lisa Tahir is my guest today and a fellow podcaster. She talks about mental health in her podcast All Things Therapy. Lisa is the founder of Psycho Astrology and The Chiron Effect. Check out her online class 20 Spiritual Tools for Change, which has been endorsed by the Dali Lama.
Her Past Story
She grew up in a family which measured your worth from your monetary income and factors you could measure on paper. Her father was an immigrant who came to America with $20, landed in New York, went to med school, and became a doctor. “On the one hand, I was watching my father do everything and on the other hand, I was oppressed and I often did not feel seen or heard.”
Lisa didn’t understand her value and worth and ended up becoming a drug addict and following people who weren’t a good influence on her growing up. She realized that this was not a positive path to take and switched gears in adulthood.
Driving Force as an Adult
After she attended therapy to heal herself, Lisa wanted to create a new story in her life. “Through the western model of therapy and being fortunate enough to find two people to go through the valleys and peaks with me.” She practices Reiki and meditation, which augments her healing journey as she continuously improves herself.
Trauma in a Relationship
Usually, when people experience trauma, it's with a person they have a standing relationship with. "For that reason, trauma digs deep and affects people profoundly." Healing in the context of a safe connection can be a powerful space to let go of the negative messaging received early in life.
Advice to Break the Cycle of Attracting Negative People
“The experiences we are having in our daily lives are a reflection of what we believe is true for us.” To have healthy relationships, you’ll need to show up for yourself, including setting boundaries with others and yourself.
Resources Mentioned
Visit Lisa on the web
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.***
Tony has his own movement and tasks “The Be Schmaltzy Movement” whereas you let go of your fears and stop people pleasing to find your happiness and success. The German translation of his last name is to be “sappy and cheesy”. Tony has committed himself to working with others to create freedom to connect to their authentic self for the past two decades.
Tony’s Past History of Abuse
Tony’s parents started arguing when he was about 10 years old, and that aggression spilled over to Tony and his siblings. Besides, his parents were always telling Tony and his younger siblings that they needed to be more like his brother Chris, going to university on scholarship.
He wasn’t able to move past his resentment until he went to coaching and realized that he needed to confront his brother. “I had to finally tell my brother that he was my biggest limiting belief.”
Schmaltzy Method Origins
In high school, he went to Germany for a school trip and was able to drink as he was 16 at the time. As he drank, he started flirting more with the girls at the bar, and the locals began calling him “Schmaltzy” as he was throwing out cheesy one-liners to the girls around him.
Why People Stop from Being their True Selves
Many people will stop from being their true selves and not let their authentic light shine. As Tony woke up one morning, dreaming about Germany, he realized he wanted to start a movement to help others become their authentic selves as well.
How to Break the Cycle of People Pleasing
Find out what is causing your anxiety with the person or persons you are people-pleasing. Breaking yourself out of your comfort zone isn't an easy choice, but it's a choice you have to make and take action on to ensure you stop the people-pleasing. Making a decision on the fly will feed into your people's pleasing. Take a step back and think about what you really need to do with your day that's a priority.
Resources Mentioned
Tweet with Tony on Twitter
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.***
In this episode, I sit down with my show producer, sound engineer and more importantly friend, Bryce Prescott. He is the 1st repeat guest on the show!! We had so much fun the 1st time around, we decided to do it again. We talk about what's transpired over episodes past, what eastern modalities have gotten us through some of the toughest times in our lives, current favorite reads and the future of the podcast. We hope you enjoy this episode as much as we did. It's a fun one!
Corbie is a Certified Tarot Master, Certified Psychic, trained medium and ordained minister. Corbie’s energetic services she offers include:
Corbie speaks and counsels at holistic expos, seminars, and workshops throughout the US and Canada and in one-on-one sessions with clients worldwide.
Her mother was addicted to barbiturates and was physically and emotionally abusive. Both her parents were in the medical field and took turns with hospital stays due to emotional problems. Corbie wasn’t into the traditional life path; she was excited by acting and writing. “My life had become me telling stories up in my mind so that I could process my life.”
Being emotionally abused by her mother led her to take on her sexuality in an unhealthy way. She used sex as a bargaining chip which led her into an abusive marriage, rape, and other harmful situations. In 1985, her mom passed away, and her dad remarried a wonderful woman that was more of a mom to Corbie than her own mother was as she had emotional intelligence.
She learned at a workshop that she attended about the three questions you must ask yourself in life. First, what are you unhappy or afraid about? Why are you sad or fearful? Lastly, what do you think would happen if you stopped being afraid or unhappy about your situation?
“I also learned I was a lot stronger than I thought I was.” When she figured out she could move through her trauma, she started working with Robert Schwartz. Working with Robert as a past life retrieval expert, “I realized that everything that happened to me was choice.” After three bouts with cancer, her surgeon told her they would take her breasts and feminine reproductive organs. She was crushed as she identified with her body.
Clean Out Your Life Closet is the first volume in The Self Development Project series. Corbie wrote this volume to help you get unstuck from believing that you can’t solve your problems, you can’t get out of your own way, that you’ll fail…that you’re just not good enough.
Her new book encourages you to write your own story of change based on your history, your life experiences, and your personal goals. Through stories, examples, and just-for-you-designed “Adventure Pages,” you can find your own answers, design your own toolbox, and discover that healing the old and creating the new can be positive, joyful and soul-satisfying.
Resources Mentioned
Connect with Corbie on the web
Pick up one of Corbie’s books
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Spread the message of Speak Loudly Podcast andshare this episode with a friend!
*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.***
Shantel Reitz is a female business owner, current international beauty queen, a high-level sales and productivity coach. Her mission is to take her experience and shine in her best light to give others the courage to turn their light on and shine. She has a presence and a glow about her that you can hear throughout this interview!
Shantel’s Backstory of Trauma and Abuse
She remembers growing up being sexually abused by her grandfather as long back as she can remember until 12. At the age of eight, she and her cousins found out that her paternal grandfather was sexually abusing them and told their parents. Her grandfather made up stories, and their parents did nothing to protect them. Looking back, she remembers her grandmother crying about the abuse, and Shantel didn’t want to make her grandmother sad again.
Achieving Accolades to Prove Her Worth
Shantel went the distance to prove her worth as a child by achieving high grades in school and going overboard with work. “I have to be conscious in checking in with myself to find out what is my intention here and what is my motive? Am I doing this to prove something?” Now, she no longer needs outside validation and does things that make her happy.
Reading Self-Help Books as a Deflection for Healing Work
As a teen, Shantel decided to read self-help books. In doing so, she realized that reading the information was a deflection from actually doing the steps needed to heal herself. “I realized that I was the one who was the people pleaser and I wasn’t setting up boundaries.” Shantel wanted to be loved and respected, and after her grandfather’s death, her father refused to make amends. It’s been seven years, and although she loves her father from a distance, Shantel has decided to place the boundary to her father that until he is ready to go to counseling with her, they won’t have a relationship.
Resources Mentioned
Connect with Shantel on LinkedIn
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Spread the message of Speak Loudly Podcast andshare this episode with a friend!
*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.***
Sandra Cooze is joining me today from Canada. She is a mother, published author of the book Journey to Yourself: How to Heal from Trauma, and is a certified intuitive trauma release and self-empowerment coach. Also, Sandra is a transformed trauma survivor, Reiki Master, and a traumatic incident reduction facilitator.
When she tells her story, she says that “it feels like someone else’s story” because she is so far removed from the pain of her trauma. In addition to sexual trauma and raped by her boyfriend’s best friend, Sandra was also bullied in her school.
At the age of 12, her mom gave her a horse and sent her for riding lessons with a stable master at a local stable. The stable master molested her one day, and she told her mother and didn’t have to go back. Her mother told her not to go there anymore but didn’t speak to her daughter about the incident.
On vacation in Germany, Sandra was invited to a party with the owner of the hotel, who was chasing her in an attempt to touch her. This time, her mom played it down to damage her friendship with the hotel owner.
Sandra decided to seek out professional counseling. She went to a counselor their family doctor recommended. At the end of her first session, he said to her, “Well, I think you’ve worked your way through this, what am I supposed to do?”. She hit rock bottom, at which point her transformation started.
With her own trauma from men in her history, Sandra’s mother was afraid to confront or speak up against abusers. She now understands that her mother’s trauma played into her response to sexual abuse as a young lady.
Raising empowered children is important to Sandra. Realizing she needs to heal her own trauma to raise children outside the cycle of abuse, Sandra has worked hard to move through her childhood memories and process the trauma she experienced to be a better mom.
Resources Mentioned
Visit Sandra Cooze on the web
Book a Discovery Call with Sandra
Join Sandra in her Facebook Group
Get a copy of Sandra’s book on Amazon
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Spread the message of Speak Loudly Podcast andshare this episode with a friend!
*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.***
Dr. Rosenna Bakari is a graduate of Cornell University with a Ph.D. in Psychology and is the founder of an international organization that focuses exclusively on empowering adult survivors. She is also a multiple book author, including the title “The Living Open Model of Advocacy and Support” related to mental wellness, and is herself an incest survivor. In addition to her accomplishments academically, Dr. Bakari is also a blackbelt in the martial arts and received her Ph.D. and her blackbelt while raising children.
Her incest and abuse came from within her family, and one day a family member who knew of her abuse invited the violator into her home. Although the violator didn’t show up, she felt extremely unsafe around the member of the family who tried to arrange this meeting. “I felt so unsafe that it triggered a PTSD event.” The family member who arranged this meeting thought that Rosenna had healed from her tragedy because she was successful. The violator was the family member’s husband.
"I hadn't healed my pain, I'd hidden my pain just as she had asked me to, and I told her that the only way I could get my life back on track was to heal for real. I made a commitment to heal openly for real, so no one could ever again take my silence for granted.
She had become so good at hiding that she convinced herself she was better. Rosenna went through counseling and read so many healing books, and watched shows. Starting to feel complete, she wrote books, including a memoir. "Something was still missing. I was in debt and having medical issues. I still didn't have what I felt like we're life-long close relationships with friends."
Ten years into her journey, she was invited to serve on faculty in a counselor training program. At this point, Roseena had her a-ha moment. "What counseling teaches was to reflect feelings and help people to feel better. I realized that I still didn't feel empowered."
Dr. Bakari created her organization as a survivor, not as a psychologist. People had requested that she hold 1:1 sessions, but she wasn’t ready. Once she incorporated the empowerment piece, she wanted to do therapy with clients, but not the typical treatment. Dr. Bakari’s goal was to empower survivors.
With an eight-session empowerment program, she guides clients through a professional experience based on her education and understanding of how human beings think and behave.
Resources Mentioned
Visit Dr. Bakari on the web
Connect with Dr. Bakari on LinkedIn
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Spread the message of Speak Loudly Podcast andshare this episode with a friend!
*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.***
Rhino Julie suffered trauma and had issues with low adrenals. As a result, she gained 65 pounds and then was able to heal herself. She had gained weight so rapidly that she remembers waking up one morning, and she couldn’t get any of her clothes to fit. Listen in to find out her journey of healing.
Filling Up Time to Avoid Dealing with the Pain of Trauma
“For most of my life, I’ve been in over my head, always going to escape the things in my head. Just fill up your time and be uncomfortable in all of the ways you want to be uncomfortable.” She decided to put aside time to move through her healing journey and decided to fill her time with work.
This way of life affected every minute of her day, including always thinking about what food she would eat next. “It was this constant war in my head that was me being obsessed with losing the weight.”
Seeking Out Medical Advice for Weight Loss
After seeing several different medical professionals, Julie was frustrated and sad. She was told it would be hard for her to lose weight and that her adrenals didn’t work correctly. Julie decided to take on a drastic change and decided to join the military and work her way through boot camp to become thin again. She hired a team to help her work through and create a civilian boot camp.
Losing Her Weight Didn’t Solve Her Problems
Julie lost the weight she gained within a year of creating her Civilian Boot Camp. “I didn’t love myself, and I ended up gaining the weight back.” Each time she gained weight, she would do more extreme activities. “I would put myself through extreme physical activity, so I wouldn’t have to deal with my emotions.”
Fight or Flight Adrenal Fatigue
“I went into denial; I was obsessed with weight loss and didn’t care about my body or myself.” Her stress level was so high she ended up in the hospital several times but still didn’t care about herself. “It was 100% mental.” Julie decided to find balance and love herself to keep off the weight and find healing in her journey.
Aesthetics as a Self-Inflicted Social Standard
“In the end, everything that we seek when it comes to aesthetics is ourselves putting it on ourselves - it has nothing to do with anyone else.” When she decided to be healthy and impact this world, she realized she had to put herself first with good nutrition and regular exercise.
Resources Mentioned
Rhino Julie on the web
Follow Rhino Julie on Instagram
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Spread the message of Speak Loudly Podcast andshare this episode with a friend!
*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.***
Elikqitie is a writer and a mother of two young ladies. She is dealing with PTSD symptoms as a result of childhood trauma, bullying, and rape. Listen to her story of triumph and hope and Elikqitie’s message that you can move past the daily life of being a victim and move into a space of grace and peace.
At the age of 2, her mother started physically abusing her, and although her dad didn’t abuse her, he didn’t interfere in the abuse and didn’t protect her. She learned to hide in the attic to avoid abuse, even in the summer, until her mom found her one day, pulled her down the stairs by her hair, beat her, and put a lock on the attic door. At the age of 5, her dad took a third shift job, and Elikqitie’s mom sexually assaulted her at night. When she wasn’t abusing her, she was neglective.
From fourth to seventh grade, Elikqitie was bullied by other girls at school daily. “The only reason they stopped bullying me was that they started to be interested in boys.” This bullying created a deep sense of mistrust of others and crushed her self-esteem. At the age of 18, she was raped by her ex-boyfriend.
“I woke up in the middle of the night with a hemiplegic migraine, which was the start of my memories of abuse flooding back.” This is how a mind can process and deal with years of suppressed traumatic abuse, she later found out from her psychologist. Since then, Elikqitie has been working extensively with a psychologist to overcome much of the trauma. Today, she works with Scott Clover, a somatic healer, who is interviewed in the previous episode. “Scott has given me the ability to move past the emotional blocks that were creating so much physical trauma for me.” She feels that Scott's process has given her unlimited potential and has uncovered her true self that had been blanketed with layers of emotional grief and trauma.
Elikqitie brings a message of hope and talks about how you can work your way through the emotions, body pain, and the fallout associated with trauma. “Everybody has a different way or process that works for you.” Try out a new process, but don’t feel pressured to move through a revolution if it doesn’t feel right for you.
She also talks about red flags when looking at and working with counselors or psychologists “If you go to a counselor and they suggest journaling, and you try it, and you tell your counselor this isn’t working for me, and they insist you do that, then that is not a person that you should work with.” Elikqitie suggests finding someone who will work with you and be considerate and respectful of your personal healing choices.
Resources Mentioned
Find Elikqitie and Travel Gluten Free Podcast on the web
COVID Travel Update Podcast on the web
Travel Gluten Free Podcast on YouTube Channel
Follow Travel Gluten Free on Instagram
Connect with Elikqitie on LinkedIn
Learn more about her content writing
Sleep For Life sleep program
Find out more about Somatic Healing with Scott Clover
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Spread the message of Speak
Scott Clover is an "Energetic Plumber" who can find stuck and negative energy wreaking havoc inside your body. Known as a somatic healer or intuitive energy healer, Scott works with clients from various traumatic backgrounds to help them heal their emotional trauma and physical bodies.
When Scott first moved to Manhattan, he knew he needed something other than talk therapy. "I didn't get the talk therapy model; it hadn't worked for me." For several reasons, Scott didn't benefit from this type of treatment. Asking around, a friend suggested a person who lived in his neighborhood who went by the title holistic psychotherapist.
"The second session, he asked me a question that changed my life completely; he asked me how my body felt?" Scott didn't want to clue into his body at first. Working with him through the mind/body connection allowed Scott to connect with his own body that would eventually enable him to feel comfortable enough to rediscover his own intuition. Feeling more aware of his own body's energy allowed his instinct to return safely and ultimately flourish. He later realized that he could channel his intuitive abilities to help others heal.
Scott was a very intuitive child, but he pushed his intuition away in his early teens like most of us. After applying somatic healing technologies in his thirties, his instinct started breaking out of the shell he had created. When the intuition broke out of his shell a few years later, his skills became undeniable. After years of training, he went into private practice and now uses his intuition to tap into his clients' energetic systems to help them heal what holds them back and feel better in their body.
When he first started, he felt other's energy in his own body. "That's not really conducive to keeping me psychically clean by taking on other people's energies." Scott learned how to have others' energy presented safely, then channel those insights into healing energy. He looks for the direction, type, and color of the energy, along with the texture and the emotional components of that energy. It helps the process to view another person's energy as a hologram.
Scott collaborates with his clients to heal wounds from epigenetic abuse and trauma, which is a cornerstone in his private practice. Since we have many epigenetic memory generations, we can carry around previous family members' trauma and hurt.
"Children mimic or defend themselves against energies in the household." You can think of this type of energy as a divot or dent in your energy field. "That dent will attract dirt because it's a gutter that can trap the negative energy, which makes their patterns more likely to repeat."
Resources Mentioned
Book a session with Scott Clover today
Listen in to Intuitive Energy Podcast
Connect with Scott on LinkedIn
Read about Scott’s work in the Wall Street Journal
*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice.
Susan has such a beautiful energy! Susan is the author of the book Live Your Life: A 30-Day Journey Book and produces her podcast Empowering Chats. With over 25 years of experience in counseling and supporting people in transforming from the inside out. Listen in to find out why her brand is living an empowered life, why gaslighting is so abusive, and how narcissism has been running unchecked in our country. Susan reminds us that it’s not your fault if you fall for a narcissist because they target shiny, energetic people to source their energy.
During her divorce, her husband became a completely different person. Although he was an instigator, he didn't want to let her go. She found out later during one of her own podcast interviews that her former husband was a passive-aggressive narcissist.
Susan explains what to look out for with a Narcissist. First, they fall in love with you and make you the center of their attention. "They are really good at convincing themselves that their story is true and correct. Therefore they see the world from that perception even though it's a made-up story." Once you've said yes to the love story, they start to gaslight you by making you doubt yourself, what you are seeing or feeling by telling you it's not true. "Gaslighting is abusive because it dissolves and denigrates your self-esteem."
At this point, the narcissist will tell you stories about how bad you are as a person. “The biggest thing about narcissists is that they have zero self-esteem.” As a result, they blame and bully anyone who challenges their concept. They will source your energy for their own personal benefit.
“We all come from the same source, so we are all connected.” Our divine spark is here to guide us in our hearts, which is intuition. “Intuition is divine wisdom that helps us define and vision what our life purpose is.” No matter what type of abuse you have endured, your divine spark still shines and continues to burn.
Resources Mentioned
Connect with Susan on the web
Susan Burrell on Facebook
Empowering Chats on Apple Podcasts
The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist by Debbie Mirza
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
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Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.
With an incredible story and an inspiring message to share, my guest Pratiti Pathak. Pratiti is a real estate professional with Keller Williams. She is also a business coach and founder/owner of Results by Design and has a beautiful glow about her! Listen in as we talk about how she processed her child's loss, her perspective that got her through life, and her motto of resilience is becoming aware of what we are thinking. Her message is to focus on the positive things in life to get to a place where you can heal.
Pratiti’s Life Growing Up
Pratiti was born in India, and her family moved to American when she was two years old. Her father is an architect, and her mother was also a professional but didn’t speak English when they moved to the US. She grew up Indian in a society that didn’t have other children of Asian descent. “I grew up with blacks and whites and me.” She recalls the constant trial of wanting to fit into two cultures. “What was going on inside my house was very different than what was going on outside my house.”
Not fitting into either cultural scene, Pratiti was picked on and beaten up by other kids. She struggled with her self-identity in school and with peers. Her parents feared the activities that other school kids participated in, such as sports, and refused to let Pratiti participate. “I felt really left out, and this increased my inability to connect with my peers growing up.”
She Never Did “The Right Thing”
“I felt like from the time I was in elementary school to the time I was 18, my entire childhood I was physically hit by somebody. Everywhere I went, I wasn’t doing the right thing.” Walking down her path of abuse, Pratiti didn’t have a chance to develop her self-confidence. As a result of her abusive connections, Pratiti became a people pleaser and ended up bullying herself for not doing anything right.
Her Decision to Become a Single Mother
Pratiti decided not to marry her son’s father as he was an alcoholic. A high-school dropout, she didn’t have the skills or resources to make ends meet. “For the first three months, I lived in my car, working two jobs, while I was pregnant until my parents asked me back.”
Giving birth to her son changed her relationship with her entire family and their perspective of life. Her son Devon passed away at the age of 17 in 2009 in a high-voltage accident.
Resources Mentioned
Connect with Pratiti on LinkedIn
Results by Design on YouTube
Contact her via email
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Spread the message of Speak Loudly Podcast andshare this episode with a friend!
Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.
The Ripple Effect of Rape
Today, my guest is Jess Munson, an ER nurse with 20 years of medical experience who specializes in sexual assault. In addition, she is certified in Somatic Healing. She is also the mother of five children. “I have an incredible relationship with my parents and had no abuse growing up.”
Jess’s Life Growing Up
Growing up in a small town of 1000, Jess knew many of the kids in town and has memories of playing outside in the creek with her friends. “I grew up with an amazing family, and my parents are still happily married after 35 years.” The third oldest of seven, her parents adopted three children from Russia when Jess was 15 years old. “Chaos is a norm for me in some way. I’m used to the crazy.”
“When I graduated high school, I came up to attend Salt Lake Community College.” She worked as a security officer for a local business. At the time, her roommate wanted to go on a date with a new guy and didn’t want to go by herself, so she asked Jess to come along with her on the date.
When they were hanging out, Jess told the guy that she had a boyfriend. They went to a movie, and everything was fine. Then, they went for a walk in a nearby park and were sitting at a picnic table when he forced her down on the top of the table. She told him to stop several times, and he backed off.
A friend of Jess’s warned her not to hang out with this guy as she felt like he couldn’t be trusted. A week went by, and her roommate asked her to hang out with this guy again, and that is when he had the opportunity to rape her.
Reporting her Sexual Assault
She drove the assailant to his house four hours later. Jess had many emotions flooding through her mind and body. She was worried about what her boyfriend would think and was worried that people would think less because she let this happen.
Jess went back home and scrubbed her body in the shower and washed her sheets in hot water, erasing much of the evidence that was left behind. When her roommate found out what happened, she called the police, and Jess filed a report.
Find out how Jess moved on in life, what happened when she married three years after her assault, how she endured emotional abuse in her marriage for 11 years, and how this experience affected every aspect of Jess’s life.
Links and Resources
Jess Munson on Instagram
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Spread the message of Speak Loud Podcast and share this episode with a friend!
*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.***
My guest today has done so much with her time on Earth. Gigi Sabbat is a first-generation Haitian-American, motivational speaker, and a best-selling author. She is the host of the Walk With Me Podcast and sexual violence and domestic assault advocate. She is an experienced leader who has adopted a conservative approach to help Christians grow spiritually, financially, professionally, and personally by setting clear and measurable goals for those ready to take action and experience life growth and transformation.
Gigi truly believes multi-skilled individuals make great leaders when utilizing their skills for the greater good and overall fulfilling God's purpose for our lives and to serve his people.
Gigi's Life and Childhood
With her parents arriving in the United States 35 years ago from Haiti, Gigi was the first-born American in her family and was brought up in Coral Springs, Florida. Her parents were strict regarding education, and she was very focused on her studies. At eight-years-old, however, she was sexually assaulted and affected her life tremendously. The abuse was from extended family members, and she did not tell anyone about the abuse until the age of 18 when she spoke to her mother about what happened. Had her mother known, she would not have let her be around those family members.
"When something like that happens to you, especially at an early age, you have to make a decision to make: if you're going to live from a place of hate or out of love." Gigi chose love and decided to move forward no matter what obstacles or challenges life puts in her path.
Almost Losing Her Life to Domestic Violence
She was attacked at home and almost strangled to death. Her abuser took her phone and threw it across the room. "I'll never forget that when I got up to go get my phone, next thing I know, I fell flat like a vegetable." Not knowing why at the time, she now knows through her domestic violence advocates that she lost consciousness as a result of not having enough oxygen to her brain. Strangulation is the number one cause of death in domestic violence relationships, and she is fortunate to be alive!
Not Blaming Yourself for What Happens to You
Gigi teaches others that no matter how many precautions you take, there is always a chance for abuse. Importantly, you can't blame yourself for what happened, and you still need to take precautions in the future to lessen the chances of abuse. Additionally, Gigi teaches others the narcissistic character traits to look out for, so they don't end up in an abusive relationship.
She was also sexually assaulted in a public venue as an adult, and she teaches how to go back to your history but continue to move forward with a resilient mindset. Gigi continues her followers to grow, no matter what challenges they face.
Links and Resources
Chat with Gigi on Instagram
Life Service of America
Tweet with Gigi on Twitter
Connect with Gigi on LinkedIn
Grab a copy of Walk with Me
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
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Brooke Ann is a healing artist, talented mural artist, and survivor of abuse. She and I talk about self-sabotage and how we live our life based on beliefs outside of our own existence. However, Brooke voices our responsibility and the opportunity to reprogram ourselves and change those beliefs to feel the abundance of the world. She communicates about the need to believe that we are worthy of living in spiritual, emotional, and financial abundance.
She remembers life as a daughter of divorced parents as they decided to split up when Brooke was only one year old. Many of her childhood memories involve the turmoil of back and forth visitation and feeling of instability. "There was neglect, there were physical abuse and sexual abuse, and men coming in and out a lot."
Her mom came from an abusive background as well and was married several times to several different people. "When I was 7 ½, I had four different sisters, all with different dads. The dads from all her sisters banded together and received custody of their children, each going to a different household. "Then, my mom lost custody of me, and I wasn't allowed to see her until I turned 18."
Even though she was close to her dad, Brooke's other adult caretakers abused her as a child. She didn't recognize that she was being abused until she was an adult as she didn't consider herself abused as one of her abusers was another child in daycare.
Through her studies, Brooke has concluded that trauma is fear that is trapped inside the body. "You have to release those feelings to relieve the trauma." The feelings trapped inside your body have been known to cause medical illnesses, including disease. "Learning how to release them, you're able to have your symptoms go away."
Listen in to find out about how neurofeedback therapy helped Brooke's husband recover from the emotional fallout of childhood abuse, which treatment therapy helped Brooke the most, and how Brooke found that she has the power to change her life.
Links and Resources
The Body Keeps the Score
Feelings Buried Alive Never Die
Visit Sacred Design on the web
Chat with Brooke on Instagram
Find out more about Brooke’s Healing Art Classes on Facebook
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Spread the message of Speak Loudly Podcast andshare this episode with a friend!
*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.***
Today, I have a male guest who is making so many changes in our world and has a phenomenal story. He has interviewed numerous celebrities, royalty, and musicians, including Jackie Chan. Christopher Newhart is part of the Sundance Film Festival, FearCON, and is the official drink sponsor for The Underground Railroad, which raises funds to stop sex trafficking.
Christopher's Life and Childhood
Christopher is thankful to his mom for becoming the man he is today. His father, however, wasn't a positive influence. "My biological father was physically and mentally abusive towards me, and I know he was mental to my mom." Chris ended up in the hospital for his injuries created by his father. His parents went through a long custody court battle. At nine, he was able to testify in front of the judge, and the court recognized that he mentioned that he wanted to be with his mother 53 times when he was interviewed. "I was grateful that my mom won the custody battle" and gave his dad visitation only with supervision.
Core Beliefs in Life
"Where I think I've gotten my core beliefs, my strength, my religion from my mom and my grandmother on her side. They were both powerful women, and I love promoting strong women and strong causes for women." He reflects back and believes that if his mom didn't get custody of him, he's not sure what could have happened to him growing up. He looked up to his stepfather and public figures, good, clean individuals, for guidance and examples of how to live his life. In addition to public figures, he listened to music to inspire him and keep him moving forward in life. "I love music; I don't know what I'd do without it."
His Defining Turnaround Moment in Life
Looking at a year of house arrest for possessing marijuana, he negotiated and was able to get his GED and attend community college. He came out to visit Utah with his wife and decided to live here.
In Chris's experiences, he has found that medical marijuana use and the user's intent has a considerable effect on the way the drug affects your body. Chris distinguishes enhancement and dependency and how drugs cannot make you happy.
Links and Resources
Gorilla Mafia Entertainment
Reverbnation
Join Chris on Facebook
Visit Chris at his restaurant Irie’s in South Jordan
Empress Rudz on Instagram
Visit Chris on Instagram
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Spread the message of Speak Loudly Podcast andshare this episode with a friend!
Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.
Today, I have a special guest because of what she’s been through and how she has dealt with her abuse. I’m chatting with Vanessa Osage, a sexuality educator for the past decade, and runs a non-profit, The Amends Project, whose mission is to “Mend the loophole that has allowed for the Cupra of the abuse of children in private schools.” Vanessa’s work is to implement the Justice CORPS Initiative, which she created with other health professionals. She has also authored the book “Can’t Stop the Sunrise: Adventures in Healing, Confronting Corruption and the Journey to Institutional Reform.”
Vanessa’s Home Life and Childhood
"I was a tomboy of the 1980's" is how she thinks of herself, looking back on her childhood. She grew up in a household of five children that were born within six years. Vanessa remembers her parents being unhappily married, her mother an alcoholic, and both her parents falling into consumerism as a way to project stability and happiness; she remembers her life growing up with her parents "always being concerned that our life looked good on the outside."
Being the second born of five, she recalls being in a parent role often as a child. "I have a lot of recollection of feeling maternal towards my siblings being the oldest girl." Her parents sent her to Catholic school, then boarding school in the small town she lived in Massachusetts.
Conditioned to Be Quiet as a Young Girl
“I believe I was very much conditioned to be quiet.” She has many memories of being quiet, sad, and the source of nurturing to be sought out. Her environment and family upbringing “lacked authenticity.”
Her Boarding School Sexual Abuse Experience
When she started boarding school at the age of 13, she went without any sexual education background, getting to high school completely uninformed about human sexuality. Vanessa arrived at her school with a sexual molester on campus, the groundskeeper, who had been preying on girls for at least a decade before her arrival.
He had a formula to get close to his victims and was in a teaching role in an automotive class during the summer.
The clearest moment, she understood that what he was doing was wrong, was when he told her not to say anything because “you don’t want to give people the wrong idea.”
Links and Resources
Visit Vanessa on the web at The Amends Project
Read her story here
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.***
Today, I’d like to introduce you to Liz Christensen, a mother of two teenagers involved in community theatre and is artistically talented. Liz enjoys writing her own scripts for plays and today has her Bachelors in Theatre and is self-employed in the theatre industry. Listen to her abuse story and how her experience has affected her marriage and emotional life, and how she attempted to “shortcut” her healing process.
The Last Child in Her Home
“If the Brady Bunch had one child together, that would be me!” With only half biological brothers and sisters, all older than her. “When my parents got married, they didn’t think they were going to have any more kids.” As a result, she has thirteen siblings, most of whom she doesn’t remember living with because they had already moved out of the home. Liz went through her teen years, being the only child in the house.
Being the last child in the house, her parents were older and a bit more financially stable. At this time, her parents started going on vacation and were able to take Liz with them. Older siblings didn’t have this opportunity.
Growing Up as a Creative in the Theatre Community
As a young child, she and her friends would write their own plays, practice, and put them on with their parents for the audience. Her parents wanted her to develop their interests, and she attended theatre classes. During one summer, she was in three different shows. An adult male member of the cast, in his late teens, drove her home from a performance at the age of 13 and started the cycle of abuse.
Self-Blame for Her Sexual Abuse
Liz remembers the episodes, and while she did tell her abuser to stop, some opportunities were given to him in the future that allowed him to continue the cycle of abuse. At 13, she was conflicted as there were many details associated with her relationship with her abuser. Ultimately, she blamed herself for her abuse.
Growing up in a religious perspective, she was told: “that we have needs and desires, and we want to act on those, making it hard to keep the law of chastity.” With this in mind, she spun the scenario that her abuser wanted her so much “that he must be in love with me and it’s too hard for him to control himself, and that’s why when I say, ‘No!’ he doesn’t listen.”
As an adult, Liz still feels that she can’t tell people that they are making her feel uncomfortable, which bothers her tremendously. “The verbalization of standing up for myself was a tough part for me in my story.”
Links and Resources
Visit Liz on the web
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.***
Today, I’d like to introduce you to Mrs. Michelle Binion. A certified mental health clinician, CMHC, who specializes in treating complex trauma and attachment disorders. She is a survivor of physical abuse from her childhood.
How Michelle became Interested in Her Career
Knowing she wanted to be a therapist since the age of 14, Michelle attended college with her senior thesis on Reactive Attachment Disorder in Youth. She wanted to find out how to heal children with this disorder. During her graduate work, a guest professor spoke about attachment. Michelle, being interested in this subject, talked with the professor after class. He suggested that she study trauma within the field of psychology
What is Reactive Attachment Disorder?
“This is a diagnosis we see a lot in children that have been in the foster care system or have been adopted.” In these children, what clinicians see is the inability to emotionally attach, along with an angry, reactive behavior that happens with people who experience significant lack and neglect. “It’s like the brain has adapted to the lack of emotional attachment, and it’s so terrifying for them to think about attachment that can’t.”
The Difference Between PTSD and Complex Trauma
“PTSD is like an earthquake where you have a scary event that happened. You could have intrusive thoughts or flashbacks.” Complex trauma is the chronic ongoing list of continual traumatic events. Often, this results from a continual chaotic environment, chronic abuse, and/or neglect, which can include the constant exchange of caregivers.
How Michelle has Decided to Break the Cycle of Abuse
With a three and a one-year-old, Michelle is aware that her upbringing in an abusive and neglectful environment could recycle her children's raising. To avoid perpetuating this cycle, she has worked through her own story. "I manage my caseload differently, so I don't have as many clients that could trigger me."
She advises other parents who have experienced trauma in their own childhood to listen to your kids. Learn attunement with your children and be aware not to repeat the behaviors of your parents.
Links and Resources
Episode 005 Speak Loud Podcast
Learn about Michelle with her practice at the Center for Christian Therapy
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
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Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.
I am excited to introduce todays guest! We found each other online, We struck up a conversation and a friendship that’s akin to being a soul mate as we are on the same wavelength. She is an author and has an incredible story to tell. As a survivor of abuse, she has made a tremendous impact on her craft of writing.
Listen in to learn how she was diagnosed at the age of 17 with PTSD, how her abuse decimated her self-esteem, and why she declined a university scholarship. Learn why she thought she had gone crazy from severe depression, how reiki has helped me with physical blockages, and how she decided to write her book.
Enduring Physical Abuse from a Young Age
Emma endured physical beatings from a young age. “When you experience abuse, it’s terrible and causes your cortisol levels to rise.” She lived in high-anxiety as a child; whether she was being beaten or not, she always felt scared and never felt safe in her home.
She understands what triggers her cycle of PTSD and does her best to avoid those situations. Emma also has more trauma about her younger brother's visions and memories of being beaten at home. She also has trauma-based around her older brother, who committed suicide the day after his 21st birthday.
Depression and Anxiety Symptoms that Accompanied Her PTSD
“There was a big block in my throat that I would have to swallow my food and get it past.” It was hard for her to eat for many years, and she became malnourished due to the somatic fallout from her PTSD. Emma also had severe depression along with her anxiety and ended up on medication. At the time, she didn’t realize that all of these illnesses were tied up in her PTSD.
The Cycle of Generational Abuse
“There were times we were at the women’s refuge because we were so scared.” Multiple family members the generation above Emma would beat her, her siblings, and her mother. “We were often isolated because abusers don’t want you to speak out.”
Resources Mentioned
Join Emma on Facebook
Follow her on Instagram
Tweet with Emma on Twitter
Pick up a copy of Beautifully Broken
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
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Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.
Today, I have a guest that I’ve been anticipating for some time now. She is the mother of four girls and a grandmother, an entrepreneur, and a nurse. I welcome Nicole Hackworth to my show. Nicole was the abuser in a relationship, and today we speak with Nicole and her husband about their relationship.
Listen in to learn how Nicole has locked out many of her memories of abuse, the perspective of an abuser, and the point at which Nicole noticed she was abusing her children and her husband. Learn why she reached out for help, how Nicole internalized much of her abuse, and how her self-confidence was affected by her abuse.
An Abuser with a History of Abuse
“It was around the age of 11 I was sexually abused by a male member of our family. When he passed, I told my mother what happened and didn’t want to go to his funeral.” She was 19, and her mother wanted to know why she didn’t tell her sooner. “I was scared, and I didn’t feel that I wouldn’t be believed and didn’t want this person to get in trouble.” As an adult, she wishes she would have reached out to someone sooner so that she could have prevented further abuse by the family member.
The Moment Nicole Realized she Was Abusing Her Children
“I was like, wow, I see that in myself. I’m not OK. I’m hurting my kids, I’m hurting my husband.” In the back of her mind, she would attempt to mentally tear down her children and her husband. After the fact, Nicole would reflect on what she did, “I think I hurt them pretty bad. But I was still in denial. It came to the point that I hated myself.”
She went into a panic attack when she realized what she was doing to her family in 2018. Since then, Nicole has chosen to go to therapy and has been consistently going for help and support from her counselor. When Nicole sought help, she was afraid her family would reject her. Not only did her family not reject her, but they are also supporting her in her efforts to become new again.
How Sexual Abuse has Affected her Intimate Relationship with Her Husband
From her past abuse, Nicole had a hot temper and was physically and emotionally abusive. One night, when making dinner, Nicole grabbed a fork and stabbed her husband in the arm. “There have been other times where I’ve slapped him. I’ve done many things, and I hope that I never, ever get to the point where I feel like I have to put my hands on somebody again.”
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
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*Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.***
Today, I have a fantastic guest, Dr. Guy MacPherson, from Bend, Oregon, who holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology. He is the Trauma Therapist Project founder, which led him to create the Trauma Therapist Podcast and Trauma Therapist 2.0, a community that offers resources and training for trauma therapists.
Listen in to learn the effects of bullying on the younger generation, how his podcast interviews helped him to move past the trauma of his own bullying and when he realized the impact that bullying had on his life. Learn why what matters with trauma impact is how the individual perceives the event, not how others perceive what has happened to the individual.
Bullying and the Power Differential
Dr. MacPherson has encountered bullying in his own life and talks about the power differential of this circumstance. “You feel less than, not able to speak up and not strong enough, not empowered.”
When working with children who are bullied, he feels a strong sense to advocate and stand up for them as he can relate to their situation. He is surprised how parents brush off bullying as a “thing that kids do” or “kids just being kids.”
About Dr. Guy MacPherson, Founder of the Trauma Therapy Podcast
After receiving a Doctorate in clinical psychology and working with individuals who've encountered trauma, he decided to start The Trauma Therapist Project and The Trauma Therapist Podcast, where he brings together resources for clinicians and therapists of all kinds who are starting out on their trauma-informed journey.
For the last several years, Dr. MacPherson has dedicated himself to the study of trauma, post-traumatic growth, and, most recently, the intersection of trauma and psychosis, specifically assessing and treating signs of early psychosis.
His inspiration comes from working with the courageous individuals determined to learn and find meaning from the trials they have endured and his brother's personal experience as a Navy SEAL veteran who suffered from PTSD.
Connect with Dr. Guy MacPherson
Visit The Trauma Therapist Project on the web
How to Start a Podcast for Mental Health Professionals
rauma Therapist | 2.0 a Community for New Trauma Therapists
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
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Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.
In this episode we had Bryce Prescott join Tiffany on the show. He’s the Executive Producer of Speak Loud as well as a Podcast Creation Consultant for several other successful podcasts including his own show The Rules of the Rebellion podcast.
The challenges associated with maintaining a dynamic and consistent podcast are vast. Bryce has offered insight and support throughout that prompted Tiffany to invite Bryce on the show to discuss firebrand topics like “how to handle bad reviews” as well as some specific obstacles we’ve had giving a platform to trauma victims that we’re always supported by those that heard about their episodes.
It’s a fun, insightful listen that balances out the other shows in our catalog. Curious about what goes on behind the scenes of a producing a podcast? Here you go!
Relevant Links:
www.bryceprescott.com
FB: Rules of the Rebellion
FB: Bryce Prescott
IG: @bryceprescott
www.speakloudpodcast.com
I’ve been anticipating my guest today for quite a while! He has created and continues to create good in the world. Kolby is a devoted father and passionate about life and learning. He lives by his credo called LIFE. Tune in for my chat with Kolby Kolibas, a keynote speaker, best-selling author of “You Should See the Other Guy”, film producer, social media marketing master, and creator of the hit docu-series Life Worth Living.
“I grew up a kid with loving parents. When my parents divorced, I was a teenager left alone to my own devices. I had a dad who worked a lot, and I got into trouble. As a teen, I wasn’t really thinking about suicide.” As an adult, Kolby decided to chronicle his mistakes and how he found a path through his faults. He talks about how this process creates who we are and our unique personalities when we survive ourselves.
Suicide the Number One Killer of Children under 18
Over 3,000 children between the ages of 8 to 17years old will attempt suicide in the next 24 hours. “In the middle of a pandemic, we find ourselves in an exciting time,” Kolby states that when you look at the numbers of suicide, you find that it’s an epidemic as it's the number one killer of kids ages eight to 18, not only in the United States but globally.
Kolby’s goal is to give others a bit of hope and the ability to “choose one more day.” As a result, he started the non-profit A Life Worth Living. “It’s giving kids hope by showing them they are going through things that other people have, and they can make it one more day.”
Listen in to Kolby’s advice on how to live when you want to give up, his challenges he faced in life, and how he deals with depression. Learn how Kolby came up with his LIFE credo, understanding how to escape the negative feedback loop, and how to look for the positivity and opportunity to encourage others and give them hope.
About Kolby Kolibas, Founder of A Life Worth Living
Kolby has worked with over 2,000 business owners and thought leaders, has appeared on over 150 podcasts, radio & television broadcasts (with a global impact on social media that has reached over 20 million impressions in 36 months), has been featured in Entrepreneur Magazine with a personal coaching client list that includes the first Shark on the hit television show ‘Shark Tank,’ a primary contributing author to the Chicken Soup For the Soul series, professional athletes, military leaders and gifted educators.
Connect with Kobly Kolibas
Therapy Scout on the web
Connect with Kolby on LinkedIn
Visit a Life Worth Living
Join Me on Speak Loud Platform
Speak Loud Podcast on the web
Spread the message of Speak Loudly Podcast andshare this episode with a friend!
Disclaimer: All content found on Speak Loud Podcast, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. Material contained on Speak Loud Podcast website, podcast, and social media postings are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice. Information on this podcast, and guest comments, opinions and content are solely for educational and entertainment purposes. Use of this information is at your own risk.
In today’s episode, I am joined by Mackendrie Gardner – an abuse survivor who has overcome and risen above the trauma of her childhood and young adult life.
Mackendrie radiates positivity and healing through her sound words of advice. She shares that much of her abuse stems from being surrounded by narcissistic personality types.
We dive into narcissistic behavior traits and how to recognize and identify them in others. We also touch on gaslighting which is a form of emotional abuse wherein a person manipulates another by forcing them to question their thoughts, memories, or actions while also denying accusations made against them.
Mackendrie shares her path to healing through acceptance of the abuse that she has endured, surrounding herself with people who better define who she truly is, and working through a unique type of therapy called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). This type of therapy involves rapid eye movement that allows the left and right brain to connect which then releases emotions that are stored as a result of a traumatic experience. EMDR redirects how you process memories or your therapist may focus on addressing "moral injury" (translation: managing a conflict of conscience or beliefs) with you. It has tremendously helped Mackendrie in her healing process.
Tune in to hear what is Mackendrie doing today to move on from her abuse and what gives her hope for the future of healthy relationships.
For anyone seeking further conversation with Mackendrie, she can be reached through the following platforms:
Instagram: @bodylikebaywatch
Facebook: @MackendrieGardner and/or @BodyLikeBaywatchVIP
To find out more about S.H.A.R.E or to tune into other episodes visit:
www.sharethemovement.org and www.speakloudpodcast.com
Mrs Australia International talks about gaining self-confidence, having a purpose in life and positive habits that made her transform from a shy and traumatized girl into a successful businesswoman and a beauty queen.
“You can make a difference with even one story that resonates with people” .
Traumatized while in kindergarten, 5-year-old Laura shouted out in herself with lack of self-confidence for years. Landed as an introverted child, she finally went out and won her confidence thanks to love and support of her parents and family, but mostly, thanks to her transformed mindset.
Unproductive thoughts and demotivating voices in her head stopped her from reaching out for more and achieving better things in her life for years.
Finding out what she is great at helped her develop her creativity and empowered her self-confidence. With that knowledge, she succeeded in both her professional and personal life.
Laura is explaining how she founded her company at the age of 25 and then explored her personal development. This transformation led her to become a successful entrepreneur and the most beautiful Australian in the world.
“You can have lalaland every day. You can have sparkles and glitter and it’s just your choice”.
She wrote a book, “Winning From the Heart”, which helps teenagers create a positive and successful mindset. Laura is donating all the profits to the non-profit international organization which supports children in poverty.
After the pandemic she is going to follow the places, the book profits supported, document the impact and share it via her social media.
Book launch: December 2020 (just in time for Christmas!).
“If I was 80 years old and I look back at my life, what I really wanted to achieve, I want to know that I did something valuable to this world; that brought a positive light and hopefully, in some way, I helped someone. Even if it’s just one person that I helped, I will be very happy”.
If any of that resonates with you, visit sharethemovement.org and tell us about your thoughts! Share your experience with us today!
To dig more into the subject:
Laura Ratliff:
- Text “LAURA” to 888-111
- www.laurajaneratliff.com
- https://www.facebook.com/LauraJaneRatliff/
Fairy LaLaLand Company:
- https://fairylalaland.com/
Tiffany Barnes and S.H.A.R.E. movement:
- https://sharethemovement.org/
- https://speakloudpodcast.com/
Did you know you’re also an abuser if you witness abuse and do nothing about it? Yes, you are! You should never turn a blind eye to abuse, be the change you want in the world even if you have to do it anonymously.
It becomes your business when you see it, so act!
In this episode of Speak Loud podcast, I talk about the importance of seeing something and saying something to decrease abuse statistics whether as the victim or the witness.
Listen in to learn where you can get all the resources and help when it comes to learning and reporting abuse.
“Most people miss opportunities to say something, to change something, to give themselves a better life because it’s going to take that work.”
What You Will Learn:
- [1:39] Why you’re always going to be a working progress.
- [3:55] How to be judgment-free with people’s abuse stories and spread love instead.
- [6:13] See something, say something- don’t be an abuser by condoning abuse.
- [9:15] What would you do when you witness abuse firsthand?
- [14:42] Visit the S.H.A.R.E organization’s website (https://sharethemovement.org/) for resources on abuse plus where to get help for abuse victims.
- [16:17] How to take action to change the frightening statics of abuse as either the witness or the victim.
Relevant Links:
S.H.A.R.E website: https://sharethemovement.org/
In this episode of Speak Loud Podcast, our guest Matthew Chadwick bravely shares his wounds from his past sexual abuse, how he is dealing and healing with the re-opened wounds, and finding light amidst those tragic events.
BRIEF BACKGROUND OF MATTHEW CHADWICK
Matthew Chadwick is married with 10 kids and 11 grandkids. He is living in Salt Lake Area his entire life. His parents got divorced when we he was 10 and his mother remarried when he was 11, then shortly after they moved. Life started to become challenging as he was uprooted from friends and needed to adjust to a new neighborhood.
HOW THE SEXUAL ABUSE STARTED
[02:28]
The sexual abuse started with his brother, but it only happened once because Matthew’s Parents knew about the incident after being confronted by his sister.
[03:29]
About a year later, this time during his puberty stage, he had communicating hydrocele. A condition where one of his testicles would grow four times the size of normal. He decided to go to his stepfather about it, but that lead him to be sexually abused over the next six years. He was also introduced and exposed to pornography and masturbation.
[08:04]
The abuse went on for 8 years, from the age 11-19, and he kept his silence for a long time because he was scared to go through another divorce again, with his mother and stepfather. His stepfather was also the one providing for their family. The abused only stopped after Matthew graduated from a mission.
[08:39]
His stepfather played with his fears, scaring Matthew about the divorce, sending him to live with his brother in Arizona, all these things to prevent him from confronting his mother about the sexual abuse
STEPFATHER’S REPENTANCE
[13:35]
- Matt’s stepfather had stage 4 pancreatic colon cancer, and he tried to go through a holistic therapy down in Arizona but it was no longer working. His father had a deathbed repentance and ask for Matt’s forgiveness with how he mistreated him.
[14:23]
- The “deathbed repentance” caused Matt’s wounds to re-open. Matt went through counseling in January just before the pandemic. And he was diagnosed with PTSD because of the emotional and sexual abuse.
DEALING WITH THE TRAUMA AND THE PROCESS OF HEALING
[20:43]
- Having a good support system at home
[21:06]
- He meditates through prayers and talking to God, listening to music that will uplift his mood
TAKEAWAY FOR LISTENERS
[22:52]
- We can forgive, but we're never ever going to forget. We're going have to deal with it.
MOTIVATION TO MOVE FORWARD
[27:32]
His family empowers him, the knowledge of God, and the knowledge of another life, no matter what you believe in, no matter what faith you are.
Key Quotes
[04:03]
“When people say let's protect our kids, keep them at home. My abuse happened in my own home.”
[37:56]
“Accentuate the positive eliminate the negative”
If you want to get in touch and connect with Matthew Chadwick, perhaps have a similar experience that you resonated with, you can email him at chadwickdad@aol.com
In this episode of the Speak Loud Podcast, host Tiffany Barnes is joined by Quintin Long – a Utah native, amateur photographer, advocate for suicide prevention, and soon-to-be husband.
Fresh out of high school, in a time of personal growth, Quintin found himself in a relationship with a woman that mentally abused him. After 12 months of abuse, he came to realize that the relationship was not what he thought it was and it was time to get out.
Though he still carries a lot of blame for what happened, Quintin in now in a healthy, committed relationship. Tune in to hear what he is doing now in his relationship to make sure that the patterns of the past don’t repeat themselves.
To other male listeners, Quintin shares some sound advice - Listen to your friends and family. It’s okay to ask for help and it’s okay to tell others that you are struggling. Find someone you confide in and tell them about what’s going on in your day-to-day life. It doesn’t have to be about abuse, but just have open conversation with someone that you trust and maybe one day you’ll be comfortable enough to share.
Quintin shares that he is empowered by his drive to always be better and his tips for resilience to abuse for others is to have the mindset that it will get better. He is an advocate for suicide prevention and encourages anyone that is struggling to reach out to him via Instagram @long.quintin.
Resources:
sharethemovement.org
Emotional and psychological abuse is the most underrated form of abuse. Just because there is no physical evidence of violence doesn’t mean that it is less traumatizing.
In today’s show, we have Anne Blythe joining us. Anne and I will be having an in-depth conversation on emotional and psychological abuse.
Anne is a trauma expert and survivor. She hosts the Betray Trauma Recovery podcast. She will be sharing a slice of her story and different ways to deal with trauma.
Also, we’ll talk about pornography addiction and abuse, identifying abuse in a relationship, and how to set boundaries. If you are going through trauma and or you’ve been through trauma and are yet to deal with it, this episode is for you.
Resources mentioned in the episode:
Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men- Lundy Bancroft
Connect with Anne Blythe:
Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast- https://www.btr.org/recovery-podcast/
Center for Peace Program - http://www.cnfp.org/
Join BTR Group- https://www.btr.org/service/btrg/
Triumph—Inspire—Change, because the cycle ends with you. No matter how large your flame inside, whether a spark or a wildfire, resilience comes from destroying the lie that you are simply a victim of your circumstance. After escaping abuse and being legally emancipated at 15, Tiffany Barnes founded S.H.A.R.E. to help others take a stand against abuse in their lives. Journeying through her past, Tiffany shares her own story of abuse, defeating the darkness, and inspiring others to be the change they want to see.
Key Takeaways:
- Forgiveness is a key part in overcoming abuse
- Use your past as a steppingstone toward the future, toward a better life
- Make yourself promises that you won’t become [fill-in-the-blank], and hold yourself to that
- If you know about abuse and say nothing, you are no better than the abuser themselves
Resources:
More about SHARE? Visit sharethemovement.org
Visit Tiffany’s website: coachtiffanybarnes.com
What to Listen for:
[05:00] A glimpse into my early life and family background
[23:00] My darkest hour and looking back on how far I’ve come
[25:45] Finding my way in the midst of the uncertainty
[35:50] What I found to be my purpose on this planet
[38:00] Inspiration for the journey ahead
Manipulation assumes no gender… and neither does vulnerability. Here to talk about the power of standing up for yourself and stepping away from the victim mentality is Ryan Breivik. Ryan is the mastermind behind The Scarlet Letter D, a book about bouncing back and redefining yourself after divorce, which he created because he would have loved to have that knowledge back when he was going through his divorce.
Ryan was married to a "narcopath", which is a combination of a narcissist and a sociopath, and has been divorced for 9 years. Ryan’s mother was highly emotional and his father didn’t often think things through, so that was the norm that he grew up with. He didn’t know he was being abused by his wife, but around the fourth year of marriage, she admitted that she had been with other men before being with him. This wasn’t the way their culture worked. Normally, physical intimacy is saved for after marriage. Ryan began to think of what else she hasn’t told him and that it was the beginning of the end. His competitiveness led him to hold on to the relationship and keep fighting for it, but as she began pulling away from their religion, he could see the relationship falling apart.
“When you love someone, the love that you share can either warn you or it can encourage you.”
They were married for over 5 years and when it ended, Ryan went to counseling and began to build his emotions and psyche around healthy relationship principals. He exercises a lot, which also acts as a form of therapy for him. Hydration, preparation, and taking advice from people who have been in his shoes helps him on his journey. The reasons why he feels like his healing has advanced so much are that he can realize when he’s being triggered and that he works on getting over the victimization. He’s stopping the cycle of abuse by helping his daughters identify when their mother has way too much control over their lives. When they stay with him every so often, he gives them healthy structure but also encourages having lots of fun and playing.
“We don’t have to be victims. We don’t have to stay that way. It’s okay to lick your wounds, that’s healthy, but it’s not the endgame, it’s not where you want to finish.”
Ryan explains how he recognized when he was being manipulated by his wife, giving examples of the emotional manipulation. He speaks on how to counter manipulation and stand up for yourself and shares his candid thoughts on cancel culture. He shares his “why” in life and gives advice to other men and dads who have been abused, including the importance of continuously building confidence. Ryan speaks on the untapped potential we all have, why men struggle with vulnerability, and the importance of men being in touch with their emotions.
“My rights don’t stop at your feelings.”
Connect with Ryan Breivik:
Find him on Facebook: www.facebook.com/He.who.grills
Follow him on Instagram: www.instagram.com/ryanbreivik
Follow him on Twitter: www.twitter.com/ryan_breivik21
Buy his book: www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-scarlet-letter-d-j-rgen-rune/1129094618
Connect with the host, Tiffany Barnes:
Listen to more episodes of Speak LOUD: www.speakloudpodcast.com
Visit my non-profit’s website: www.sharethemovement.org
Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/speakloudpodcast
1 in 6 men experience some form of abuse BEFORE the age of 18 years old. We don’t often hear men’s stories of abuse and overcoming abuse but I believe it’s crucial. Here to talk about discovering the power of his mind, embracing the wholeness in ourselves, and all things resentment is Dennis Concoby. Dennis was a family medicine doctor and is now a life transformation coach because he recognized the severity of mental illness in the world and felt the need to make a shift.
Dennis was one of nine children and experienced abuse from his parents. An event that got him thinking about this abuse was a time where someone had gotten into his father’s beloved sodas, which turned into a huge ordeal. He didn’t know how to deal with it so he locked it away deep inside himself. A theme in his early life was either these moments of abuse were normalized or they were too big to process, so he internalized them. Once he was in his medical residency program, some unusual behaviors started to come out, which the people around him noticed. After opening his own practice, he realized these behaviors really needed to be dealt with, so he suspended is medical license, embraced the need for a healing process, and got help.
“You can’t begin to heal and move forward form anything negative in your life until you have an awareness about it.”
He discovered the power of his thoughts and how his ability to control them. After realizing he had been assuming a victim role, he began questioning his thoughts and the compartmentalization of his feelings. During this episode, we talk about the stigma around therapy, the hardest part of his shadow work during the 12 weeks he spent at the intensive outpatient program, and how his wife supported him during that time. Dennis uses the practices from that program to this day! Healing is a lifelong process and it’s important to start building your toolbox of healing modalities and resources as soon as you can. He shares an important message about embracing the positive and negative within and appreciating the wholeness in ourselves. We discuss the trend of repressing abuse in men and the stigma regarding men expressing emotion. Dennis offers powerful insight into the immense courage involved in releasing emotion and breaking down your façades.
“We can not only understand the abuse and the things that we’ve been through, and not only heal from it, we can come back and we can thrive.”
Dennis speaks on how he’s implementing what he’s learned with his children to make sure the cycle stops with him, including talking about authenticity, the importance of sharing your thoughts and feelings, and not being afraid of disappointing your parents. He speaks on the challenge of knowing that you are enough and his daily practices for rewriting the story in his mind. He explains what got him into life coaching and dives into the concept of resentment and its cancerous effects on people.
Connect with Dennis Concoby:
Visit his website: www.docdenniscoaching.com
Find him on Facebook: www.facebook.com/docdenniscoaching
Follow him on Instagram: www.instagram.com/docdenniscoaching
YouTube: www.youtube.com/docdenniscoaching
Connect with the host, Tiffany Barnes:
Listen to more episodes of Speak LOUD: www.speakloudpodcast.com
Visit my non-profit’s website: www.sharethemovement.org
Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/speakloudpodcast
Brooke Heym is a mother, entrepreneur, sexual empowerment and intimacy coach, public speaker, musician, and a survivor of many forms of abuse. Brooke’s mission is to help people learn how to reestablish sexuality into a positive part of their life and begins by sharing with us how shame and creativity are often related.
Brooke’s experience of sexual trauma began when she was 8 years old, with her stepfather. With the abuse lasting into her teenage years, she explains the fault that he placed on her and how it impacted her way of thinking about her worth and power. She believed that she was responsible for her childhood abuse and broken family and that it was engrained in her that her purpose was to be hurt. Having experienced date rape and divorcing from three abusive marriages by the age of 27, Brooke gets vulnerable and speaks about her experience trying to stop the abuse from happening but not actually being able to stop it. Brooke talks about boundaries and making the profound decision to stand up for yourself or be the victim. She shares her experience reporting her abuser to the police and the group counseling she participated in that included bringing in perpetrators to share what goes on in their minds. Having her daughter was a turning point for Brooke in the sense that she realized she didn’t want her daughter to experience what she went through, so she went to therapy to work through that as well.
“Your brain challenges to heal further.”
Brooke wanted to learn how to engage in intimacy without it bringing up pain and being traumatic, so getting a mentor and discovering how to heal the way she connected with herself was monumental. She learned how to revisit trauma and associate new meaning to it instead of seeing herself as someone who deserved to be hurt. She began to see strength and value in herself and utilize the continuous opportunity for reevaluation that comes from pushing yourself to understand and heal.
Brooke’s clientele is made of up people who have experienced sexual trauma and people who grew up thinking that sex is bad and shameful. She gives powerful advice for moms who have experienced trauma and abuse, emphasizing the importance of never judging your feelings, but feeling them and letting them pass through. She brings up using meditative masturbation to reprogram the brain to be in a different space during sexually intimate moments and the other practices she teaches her clients during her retreats, one-on-one sessions, and group Zoom sessions. The main motivating question underlining Brooke’s entire life is: what is the key to resilience? Tune in to hear her break down her answer and talk about the book that impacted her life the most.
“We can have all the knowledge in the world, but it is not our knowledge that will heal us, it is our feelings that will heal us."
Connect with Brooke Heym:
To book a FREE 90 minute Initial Discovery Session, visit her website: www.brookeheym.com
Find her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/brookeheym
Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/brookeheym
Email her: brooke@brookeheym.com
Connect with the host, Tiffany Barnes:
Listen to more episodes of Speak LOUD: www.speakloudpodcast.com
Visit my non-profit’s website: www.sharethemovement.org
Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/speakloudpodcast
So often, we think of abuse as something that only women can experience. Men’s abuse seems to be scoffed at and disregarded. However, men’s abuse is real, and it is happening far too often.
Today I welcome Tony Taylor, a survivor abuse, to discuss the abuse her endured, how he found himself in an abusive environment, and how he was able to find freedom and resilience after abuse.
Tony recounts the emotional, mental, and physical abuse he experienced as a child. He goes into how his abuse led him to develop a borderline personality disorder. Tony goes on to describe the abusive relationships he found himself in and how he felt himself in abusive relationships because he didn’t know anything different and began to think his abuse was normal.
Tony shares what held him back from healing; he explains that his need for resolution and closure that never came caused him to harbor anxiety and trauma for years after his abuse. Tony and I discuss the ways he has worked to overcome this block and what freedom from this hindrance looks like now that he is healing.
Tony shares how he has found peace within himself after his abuse and how he overcame his trauma. He speaks into the ways he has found resiliency. He speaks into the effects abuse can have on men and why this issue is so important to bring to light. Throughout my conversation with Tony, a recurring theme that comes up is the importance of knowing a situation is not safe and the emotions it evokes are valid, as well as reiterating the point that men experiencing abuse do not need to fall into the “manly man” stereotype.
“Deal with your baggage before it deals with you.”
Relevant Links:
Tony on Facebook
Tony on Instagram
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For survivors of abuse, it can be difficult to shift their mindset from victim to victor. So often, the trauma in the wake of abuse leaves open wounds that are salted by setting up camp in the “victim mentality”, rather than seeking healing.
Taylor Doulas, an amazing mother, captivating speaker, retreat and event organizer, as well as personal development mentor and interpersonal influence mentor, joins me today to share her story. Taylor is a survivor of emotional abuse and she speaks into the trauma she endured as well as how she overcame that trauma and stepped into resiliency and healing.
Taylor expresses a very abrupt approach to healing that some people experience. Instead of slipping into a victim mentality, Taylor was strategic and determined to find healing after her emotional abuse. She shares the tactics she implemented to harness her healing and how she shifted her mentality from “following others” to “choosing herself”. Taylor explains that her healing looked like immersing herself in personal development in every sense of the phrase – she read books, attended seminars, and befriended others who had the same laser-like focus on improving themselves.
In my conversation with Taylor, I dissect the difference between intentional and unintentional abuse and describe what that looks like. Taylor defines co-abuse, shares her own experiences with it, and explains why it manifests itself far too often.
Taylor describes what her life looks like now that she has overcome the trauma she experienced. She shares how her abuse has shaped her and impacted the way she reacts to and interacts with others. We go in-depth on how she works to be intentional with her family and not let her past abuse affect her present joy.
“Healing from that situation – choosing to heal from that situation – changed the direction of my entire life and who I get to be in the world”
“I was healed not hardened.”
Relevant Links:
Taylor Douglas
Taylor on Facebook
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I am so excited to welcome my dear friend, Lauri Schoenfeld, to the show today! Despite the childhood abuse she endured, Lauri is a successful, incredible, and strong woman today. She is a mother of three, a captivating and inspiring speaker, an expression coach, and an amazing author.
Lauri opens up about the different types of childhood abuse she faced, including emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. She recounts the thoughts and feelings she experienced and how her perception became morphed because of her abuse. Lauri explains how she began to justify the abuse her parents inflicted upon her as being her fault, that something was wrong with her. She shares that this mentality that manifested from her abuse led her to become suicidal.
Then, Lauri discusses how she was able to break out of her childhood abuse because of a physical ailment she had to tend to and heal. Through the care she gave her body, Lauri learned to find her mental strength as well, and shift her mindset to being the victor in her life.
Lauri speaks to the people that have helped her through her abuse and those who were there for you to overcome abuse. Lauri and I bring to light the importance of community; being and finding trustworthy people to support and be supported by.
As a mother of three and a survivor of childhood abuse, Lauri explains the journey she has been on to find her worth and learn to love herself to love her children in the way she never was. Lauri shares how she dwelled in honesty and uncovered where her pain points were. She broke down the patterns to overcome the residual effects of her childhood abuse that still haunted her.
Lauri speaks into the tactics she uses to find peace and pour love into herself in the wake of her childhood abuse. She shares how she has stepped into resiliency by trying new things and embracing the childlike wonder she was robbed of as a child.
Relevant Links:
Enlightened Thoughts Podcast
Lauri on Instagram
Lauri on Facebook
Lauri on Twitter
The True Expression of Self Blog
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Trauma has a massive impact on our psyche. So much so, in fact, that our brains can suppress memories of trauma in order to cope. This is not uncommon and can affect many trauma survivors.
Tiffany Jackson, a strong, beautiful mother and trauma survivor, recounts her trauma on the show today and speaks into her repressed memories of trauma, how she coped when her trauma came to light, and how she perceives her trauma in the present day.
In our discussion, Tiffany and I connect through our shared trauma and speak to the trauma that impacted us most and why. Tiffany goes into some of the trauma she experienced and how she achieved resilience and peace after this trauma through self-love. Because of a suicide attempt, Tiffany shares, she was led to a wonderful therapist who invited healing into her heart and gave her the support she needed. She speaks into how she stays resilient through trust in her own strength and trust in the journey she is on to peace. Tiffany explains the energy healing tactics she has used to overcome her trauma, such as EMDR, body code, and meditating.
As a survivor of childhood abuse and a mother of three, Tiffany shares how she clings to self-love in order to protect her own children from the pain of her past.
Tiffany and I discuss how trauma impacts us at different times in our lives and in different ways. We remind each other and listeners that they are never alone and that there is empowerment, love, peace, and healing in the future.
Relevant Links:
@_tiffanyjackson65
Healing Works
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Feeling comfortable in your sexuality after trauma can feel like an impossible feat. So many survivors struggle to confidently express their sexuality or even connect to it after experiencing trauma. In this amazing episode of the Speak LOUD podcast, I welcome Susan Bratton, highly esteemed and incredibly known intimacy wellness expert, to speak about finding healing in your sexuality.
Susan, a trauma survivor herself, shares her background of sexual, emotional, and physical abuse and the pain she experienced in her past. She explains how this trauma, and her own challenges healing her sexuality, lead her to begin helping others, especially sexual abuse survivors, feel confident in their sexuality.
After researching the subject of healing sexuality and lovemaking, Susan explains, she found three main factors that attribute to sexual confidence. Susan speaks into the impact trauma has on sexuality and digs deeper to understand exactly where trauma manifests itself in an individual’s sexuality. Susan shares the therapeutic techniques that she recommends that facilitate sexual healing after trauma.
Susan shares the importance of lovemaking and cultivating an accepting, loving, supportive environment to heal sexuality and find sexual confidence. We discuss how trauma survivors can reawaken their sexuality and release the anxiety and fear that manifested through their trauma to achieve sexual healing.
Susan’s vast knowledge, passionate care, and refreshing perspective on making love and healing sexuality are enlightening. Her ability to find resiliency after trauma and turn her pain into something that helps, heals, and strengthens others is inspiring.
Relevant Links:
Personal Life Media: Be a Better Lover
Better Lover on YouTube
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Today, we are joined by a very special guest, Leta Greene. She was raised in what she calls two extremes: truck stops and Provo, Utah. Not exactly spots that belched up beauty tips. So, how did a shy tomboy with her share of scars become a confident beauty expert? Here’s a clue: it didn’t involve a traditional makeover or even much makeup! She discovered the secret to lasting beauty—and it worked despite all the scars and truck stops.
Leta gives us a look into his background, and why she is passionate about educating kids about topics that they face in today’s world. She creates an immediate rapport to help them build their confidence and understanding of healthy relationships.
Leta speaks into why we don’t want to terrify young minds with all the realities and dangers of our world. Just as when we explained to our children to look both ways before crossing the street we did teach them by showing them pictures of children that had been hit. We taught them the principle and pointed out the dangers they could understand at an age-appropriate level.
As my conversation progresses with Leta, she uncovers howWe can be destroyed or remade if you recognize there's something more to who you are. Stories about her clients started telling life story and how different points in her life.
With his focus in trauma, Leta is able to shed light that it was more than about timing to share her story but to share very poignantly that events no matter how horrid can be overcome and be sources of strength to enhance your life.
Leta offers rich insight that can pertain to anything, not just business, anything, anything sexual abuse, abuse, and the mental limitations.
“If you start looking at a lot of studies that talk about how that gives people hope from a scientific concept, the very concept of hope is a God concept. ”
Relevant Links:
https://letagreene.com/
https://www.facebook.com/LetaHotness/
https://www.instagram.com/leta_greene/?hl=en
https://www.linkedin.com/in/hotness/
https://www.youtube.com/user/glamourconnection/videos
Abuse is a horrible epidemic in the world today. I am joined Sarah Galeboloke, a young marketing professional to discuss abuse and the ramifications it has on our society. Beyond her career, Sarah works with nonprofits to promote anti-trafficking efforts and helps victims of abuse or overcoming pornography addictions.
Sarah shares her story of mental, emotional, and verbal abuse in her childhood and how she found herself in an abusive relationship. She explains how her abuse pushed her to learn about emotional intelligence and lead her on an empowering journey and self-awareness, resilience, and knowledge.
Sarah speaks into the healing process and how it has been an ongoing battle. She expands on how her domestic abuse has impacted her present relationships and how she is overcoming learned reactions and finding her strength. We discuss the Victim Triangle and Winning Circles and how these theories helped Sarah shift her perspective from that of a victim to that of a warrior.
Through her own domestic abuse, Sarah offers advice to listeners about how to fight for yourself and get out of an unhealthy, abusive relationship. Sarah gives helpful tips to express your pain and release your trauma, such as journaling and confiding in people you trust.
Sarah’s wisdom and mature perspective is inspiring. She offers incredible insight and helps us find new, intelligent approaches to the problems we face. Sarah’s strength and poise, especially while overcoming abuse, is admirable and gives us hope and light in a world filled with darkness.
Relevant Links:
@pluralgrowth
Sarah on Facebook
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So often we dwell on and live in the negative aspects that trauma creates. However, as strong and amazing survivors, it’s critical that our mindset shifts to focus on the positive effects of trauma. Lorrie Richins shares her story to bring awareness to trauma and share her work as a personal and family empowerment coach.
Lorrie starts the show off by giving listeners look into her background and the work that she does in her business, Whole Family Mentoring. She recounts how her repressed trauma was brought forth later in her life; what caused the trauma to resurface and how she coped with this realization.
After hitting her breaking point and planning to take her own life, Lorrie found her strength and kept fighting, eventually becoming resilient to the pain that once crushed her. Lorrie explains how seeing a therapist helped her step into resiliency and out of the pain she felt. Lorrie so perfectly describes what pain feels like and the reaction it forces it us to have of escape and fleeing from those feelings of pain. She shares stories of how she tried to run from what had the potential to cause her pain even before it did.
Lorrie explains how her experience led her to her passion for helping people overcome trauma. Now, as a body language advisor, emotion code practitioner, and energy worker, as well as having practiced skill with essential oils, Lorrie offers everything to her clients that she found lacking in her own recovery from trauma. In her practice, Lorrie focuses on creating a trusting and safe environment for her clients and works to treat the body in all aspects.
Lorrie shares how trauma manifests in different ways and can show itself in health issues and other aspects of our bodies and wellbeing. She treats the whole person and encourages people to be attuned to their bodies, find humility, and listen for shifts in energy. Lorrie offers insight into her work through the practices she implements in her treatment and speaks into what each of these factors provides in healing from trauma.
“There’s a price we pay for the wisdom gained, and often, that price is pain.”
Relevant Links:
wholefamilymentoring@gmail.com
Whole Family Mentoring
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In this episode of the Speak LOUD podcast, I speak with my incredible guest, Em Capito, public speaker at TedTalk Salt Lake City, licensed clinical social worker, and trauma survivor. Em shares with us her passion for finding resilience in sustainable and fulfilling ways.
Em and I dive into our conversation by touching on learned resiliency and how to step out from the constrictive mindset that someone either is or is not resilient. We chat about the empowerment that is achieved when we start shaping our lives around resilience. Em offers her perspective on this and speaks into what resilience provides us and the tools and techniques she used to find resiliency after trauma.
Em shares her trauma and recounts the journey she took towards resilience. She speaks into the foundation that is necessary to harvest resiliency in our lives and how to fuel our resilience. Em goes on to outline the six factors of the resilience pyramid that she has implemented to keep herself accountable for her resiliency.
Through our discussion of resiliency, Em and I uncover the importance of perspective. She sheds light on how our perspective can shape our mindsets and, ultimately, our lives. Em shares an anecdote of how the power of perspective has helped her in even mundane events in her life.
Our conversation evolves to focus on Em’s work as a licensed clinical social worker and where her passions lie within that field. Em explains her goals of reaching people on a global scale to overcome trauma share a message of reclaim resilience to empower people to change their lives. We discuss what she’s been working on to facilitate and advocate for a holistic approach to resiliency in today’s world.
Em offers a refreshing perspective on social work and offers such a remarkable perspective on the path towards resiliency and overcoming trauma. She speaks into the problems that so many of us face and provides us with advice to make realistic changes towards healing and finding strength.
“It’s a wonderful life when you can embrace adversity.”
Relevant Links:
Em Capito
@EmCapito
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www.theresilienceclass.com
I have the privilege of speaking with the wise and wonderful Angie Milgate today! Angie is an EPIC, Empath Psychic Intuitive Creative, who sees and speaks truth, and author of the incredible book, Above the Clouds: A Courageous Journey of Hope, Love and Revelation. She joins me to discuss her experiences with trauma and her connection with the energy in this world.
Angie shares her background and how she found herself in a position to helps those who are fighting to overcome the trauma they endured. Although Angie didn’t experience childhood abuse herself, she speaks to the experience she had growing up in a family with parents that had faced trauma.
Angie explains how she ended up finding herself in an abusive relationship and also how she was able to escape from her abusive husband. She speaks into her struggles with seeking help immediately after she was able to break free from her abuse. Angie shares the questions and self-accusations she heard in her mind during that time and how they affected her healing and harvested fear.
Because of the abuse Angie faced, her daughter also faced trauma. She shares how she has healed herself and is working to heal her daughter. However, Angie describes how she doesn’t see herself as a victim, but instead, used her story to uncover miracles in her life. She shares how what was once a weakness for her became her biggest strength and her fiercest superpower.
Angie shares how her abuse and trauma motivated her to find her strength and fuel her gifts in spirituality. She speaks of how she uses her own experience with trauma to be a better healer for her clients. Angie is an energy for the eradication of abuse.
“As long as I was a victim in the story that I was sharing, I was absolutely powerless to changes.”
Relevant Links:
Above the Clouds: A Courageous Journey of Hope, Love and Revelation
Schedule a Consultation
Angie the Phoenix
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Today, we are joined by a very special guest, Joe Dennis, who works with me at S.H.A.R.E. as a trauma counselor.
Joe gives us a look into his background, and—more specifically—his work as a trauma clinician. Joe describes what he’s witnessed in his role focusing on PTSD and how trauma manifests itself. We dive into how trauma changes over time and define the types of trauma that people experience.
Joe speaks into the different approaches available today to treat trauma. We talk about what tactics he’s found to be successful in overcoming trauma and achieving resiliency.
As my conversation progresses with Joe, he uncovers how trauma affects the brain. Joe explains the impact trauma has, not only physically, but mentally. We go on to discuss how trauma resurfaces and manifests through triggers even after we’ve overcome physical trauma. Joe shares his own beliefs and points of consideration to overcome the experiences we go through in our pasts.
With his focus in trauma, Joe is able to shed light on the different therapy techniques out there, and the benefits and pitfalls of each. He explains each clearly and provides examples that make them easily understandable. Joe also shares that his passion is so great for therapy because he experienced trauma himself and wanted to help others open the door to seek help.
I ask Joe about the concept of ‘trauma bonding’. We define what this is, how to spot it, as well as how to overcome it.
Joe offers rich insight and poses incredible options for individuals working to overcome trauma.
“Trauma is not based in a singular event, or even a series of events, it’s based in the meanings and the beliefs around the event.”
Relevant Links:
Instagram @joedennis.counsels
joe@MindfulCounselingUtah.com
Resources
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I switch things up in this episode with my guest, Janet Brohm, an incredible teacher, and businesswoman who shares her insight into the effect our core personality traits have on our resilience.
Janet shares what the five personality traits are and defines what they look and feel like.
1. Openness
2. Agreeableness
3. Conscientiousness
4. Extroversion
5. Neuroticism
Janet explains the research around resilience and how these personality traits impact our ability to be resilient. She describes how certain personality traits allow people to be more resilient or cause them to be averse to resilience. Janet uncovers how personality traits are formed and the effect our environment has on our personalities. Janet poses examples and scenarios to paint the picture of the role our environment plays in creating our personality traits.
Through her research, Janet has found solutions to shift your personality traits to improve your resilience. She outlines the weight physical health has on our resilience and encourages listeners to practice healthy eating and activity to nourish their bodies and minds. Janet explains how crucial social contact is to growing resilience and shares the astounding benefits of loving physical touch.
What stands out about my interview with Janet is the information she provides about finding resilience after abuse. Janet stresses the importance of recognizing those who’ve been abused as SURVIVORS instead of victims. She provides amazing tools, key practices, and helpful resources for survivors of abuse to shift their mindsets to become resilient. Janet reminds us that we must give ourselves grace and remember to love ourselves and others always. Healing takes time, but you can learn and grow to be resilient.
Relevant Links:
Janet Brohm
Facebook: Janet Brohm
janet@janetbrohm.com
This is one episode you don't want to miss! You can find more information about Janet at www.janetbrohm.com. As well as on social media platforms below:
www.facebook.com/janetbrohm
IG handle: @Janet_Brohm
IG SUPPLEMENT Handle: @brainheropill
HTTPS://limitlesslabsstore.com
I sit down with a very special guest, Shirley Barnes, who shares her story of mental and physical abuse and molestation. Shirley explains that through her experience with abuse, she’s realized the importance of speaking up and speaking out against abuse when it happens.
Unfortunately, Shirley, like so many others, experienced sexual abuse and molestation at a young age that continued into her teenage years. Shirley touches on these instances of molestation that she endured throughout her childhood. Shirley explains her abusive home situation throughout her youth and how it contributed to her molestation and the perception she had of the sexual abuse she faced. She admits the guilt she feels for not speaking up to ensure that sexual abuse wasn’t imposed on others.
She delves into her past and the mental abuse inflicted upon her from her mother which led to abandonment issues that continue to affect her now. Shirley explains how certain coping mechanisms have manifested within her as a direct result of the sexual abuse and abandonment issues from the mental abuse she faced as a child.
Shirley’s story progresses and she shares the mental and physical abuse she suffered in her relationship with her children's father, how she felt trapped and manipulated by her husband, and the fear she felt about getting out of her abusive relationship. She describes the scars that she bears today because of the abuse she faced for the majority of her life.
Shirley and I discuss how difficult it can be for victims to Speak LOUD about their abuse. We share our own experiences and the fears we had about asking for help. It’s important to know that abuse is NOT YOUR FAULT and no matter what happens, the best thing to do is find the courage and mindset to seek help as quickly as possible.
Through Shirley and I’s conversation, the powerful message emerges of speaking up and acting quickly in the face of abuse. It can be scary to speak out but FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL LISTEN. It might seem like an overreaction to act but HELP A VICTIM. No matter the situation, abuse is abuse and it needs to be brought to light. Shirley’s strength and outlook on life after abuse is incredibly inspiring. She encourages listeners not to let their pasts define them and to learn how to say “NO”.
Relevant Links:
Facebook: @misshooey1
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Welcome to the Speak LOUD Podcast!
This podcast was created to share stories of survival of abuse. Focusing on hope, resilience, and empowerment. Tiffany will be sharing her story of overcoming abuse as well as interviewing other survivors throughout the country sharing their stories of TRIUMPH and RESILIENCE. Too often people let the abuse define them instead of empower them. Tiffany hopes that through listening to this podcast other survivors of abuse will find hope in the stories shared. Realizing they are not alone in what they went through.
Please be sure to SHARE THE MOVEMENT and SUBSCRIBE, LISTEN, RATE AND REVIEW this podcast.
Let's end this EPIDEMIC one person at a time!
Tiffany Barnes is familiar with overcoming hardships.
After enduring physical, mental, and sexual abuse, Tiffany was emancipated at the age of 15. At the time, she was only the second case in the state of Utah for a child of that age to become legally emancipated from her parents.
While working three jobs to support herself through high school, Tiffany became a Sterling Scholar, graduating top of her class, an athlete, and founder of S.H.A.R.E, an advocacy group for students; by students who had experienced abuse.
What began as a small group of students supporting each other, S.H.A.R.E has since grown and evolved into a 501C3 national foundation that stands for Sharing Hope for the Abused through Resilience and Empowerment.
As a torch bearer for the 2002 Olympics, Tiffany has always been determined to shine light in dark places. Helping others to “light their flame within”. While most might have used their unfortunate past as a crutch, Tiffany has chosen instead to use it as a stepping stone toward a better future.
As an Empowerment Coach, She has expanded her efforts and is now part of the Kindness Revolution, one of the longest running national initiatives focused purely on kindness. Tiffany is now following her passion of helping others to overcome through her work as a Resilience and Empowerment Coach as well as a Keynote Speaker across the nation.
Her first book “The Throw Away Girl”, an inspiring autobiography, is soon to be released.
Tiffany has made it her mission to help others create real change, one person at a time. Her motto is “It’s the START that STOPS you.” Through her message, Tiffany helps others to begin their journey of resilience and empowerment from adverse circumstances one step at a time!