My head isn't in the clouds. My head is in films. I'm Caitlin. On this podcast, I share my personal thoughts and feelings about the films I watch, mainly art house and world cinema. This podcast celebrates the personal, the subjective, and the emotional. I weave together my life experiences with an in-depth discussion of the movies that haunt and astound me. Instagram: @herheadinfilms, Twitter: @herheadinfilms, Email: herheadinfilms@gmail.com, Tumblr: herheadinfilmspodcast.tumblr.com
In this episode, I talk about Sidney Lumet's 1982 film, "The Verdict." Paul Newman plays Frank Galvin, a once-promising lawyer whose life has been consumed by alcoholism, failure, and regret. When he's handed a medical malpractice case involving a young woman left permanently incapacitated after a catastrophic mistake during childbirth, what first appears to be an opportunity to revive his career becomes something far more profound.
I talk about the film as a story of salvation, redemption, human frailty, justice, and moral responsibility. I also explore what it means to truly see another person's suffering, how caring about someone else can transform our own lives, and why "The Verdict" remains one of the most emotionally powerful and deeply humane films I've ever seen. There are spoilers in this episode.
If you’d like to support my work and get access to bonus episodes and exclusive posts, you can join me on Patreon: patreon.com/herheadinfilmspodcast.
You can follow me on Letterboxd. My email is herheadinfilms@gmail.com.
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In this episode, I talk about Victor Erice's 1983 film, "El Sur." Set in northern Spain during the 1940s and 1950s, the film follows Estrella, a woman looking back on two distinct periods of her life: her childhood and adolescence. At the center of her memories is her enigmatic father, Agustín, a man she deeply loved but can never fully understand. As Estrella gradually uncovers fragments of his past and becomes fascinated by the distant South he left behind, she begins to realize that the father she knew as a child carried a hidden history and a private sorrow that will forever remain beyond her reach.
I talk about the shadow my father’s death has cast over my life, how our parents can continue to haunt us long after they're gone, and how certain films can become an encounter with our own lives. I also discuss the novella the film is based on. There are spoilers in this episode.
This episode is dedicated to my parents.
If you’d like to support my work and get access to bonus episodes and exclusive posts, you can join me on Patreon: patreon.com/herheadinfilmspodcast.
You can follow me on Letterboxd. My email is herheadinfilms@gmail.com.
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In this episode, I talk about William Wyler’s 1949 film, "The Heiress." Olivia de Havilland plays Catherine Sloper, a shy and sheltered woman living with her cold father in Washington Square, New York in the mid-1800s. When she meets an attractive and alluring man played by Montgomery Clift, she falls passionately in love for the first time, but their relationship will force her to confront painful truths about love and desire.
I talk about how the film explores heartbreak and transformation, and how it charts a woman’s devastating but powerful journey from innocence to experience, from illusion to reality, and toward a deeper understanding of herself.
If you’d like to support my work and get access to bonus episodes and exclusive posts, you can join me on Patreon: patreon.com/herheadinfilmspodcast.
You can follow me on Letterboxd. My email is herheadinfilms@gmail.com.
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In this episode, I talk about Gabriel Axel's 1987 film, "Babette's Feast." The film follows Martine and Filippa—two sisters devoted to a small religious community in Denmark—and Babette, a French refugee and former chef who comes to live with them. When Babette prepares a feast to honor the centenary of their father’s birth, the meal becomes an act of artistic and emotional offering.
I talk about what it means to offer something from the heart, how the film portrays art as a form of generosity, and how the experience of the meal brings the community back to life and to each other.
If you’d like to support my work and get access to bonus episodes and exclusive posts, you can join me on Patreon: patreon.com/herheadinfilmspodcast.
You can follow me on Letterboxd. My email is herheadinfilms@gmail.com.
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In this episode, I talk about Douglas Sirk’s 1955 film, "All That Heaven Allows," starring Jane Wyman and Rock Hudson. The film follows Cary Scott, a widow in a conservative suburban community who falls in love with a younger, working-class man, and must decide whether she will conform to social expectations or defend a love that transforms her life.
"All That Heaven Allows" is a luminous and deeply emotional film about fear, conformity, and the courage it takes to live in a way that is true to yourself. It asks what a woman is allowed to want, what she is allowed to desire, and whether love is worth fighting for in a world that would rather see her diminish herself. In this episode, I reflect on love as an act of bravery and what it means to watch this film as a woman near Cary’s age. I also consider how Sirk’s melodrama speaks to the female spectator by taking female desire seriously.
If you’d like to support my work and get access to bonus episodes and exclusive posts, you can join me on Patreon: patreon.com/herheadinfilmspodcast.
You can follow me on Letterboxd. My email is herheadinfilms@gmail.com.
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In this episode, I talk about Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger’s 1948 film, "The Red Shoes." It centers on Vicky Page, a young ballet dancer whose extraordinary talent brings her into a world where art demands total devotion and where love and ambition collide.
I discuss "The Red Shoes" as a meditation on artistic calling, female ambition, and the desire for greatness. I’m interested in how the film portrays a woman who refuses to live a small life, and what happens when her boundless creative drive cannot be contained by the world around her.
If you’d like to support my work and get access to bonus episodes and exclusive posts, you can join me on Patreon: patreon.com/herheadinfilmspodcast.
You can follow me on Letterboxd. My email is herheadinfilms@gmail.com.
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In this episode, I talk about Dianne Jackson's beloved 1982 animated film, "The Snowman." Adapted from Raymond Briggs’s wordless book, the film follows a young boy who builds a snowman that comes to life, and together they share a brief night of wonder and connection.
I reflect on how the film holds both joy and tenderness, and how its playful scenes have brought me comfort during my first Christmas without my mother. She was my last remaining parent, and watching this film has helped me think about memory, grief, and the impermanence of life. I hope this episode offers solace to anyone who is grieving during the holidays.
If you’d like to support my work and get access to bonus episodes and exclusive posts, you can join me on Patreon: patreon.com/herheadinfilmspodcast.
You can follow me on Letterboxd. My email is herheadinfilms@gmail.com.
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In this episode, I talk about Francis Ford Coppola’s 1974 film, "The Conversation." The film follows Harry Caul, a wiretapper in San Francisco who becomes obsessed with a recording he’s made of a young couple in a crowded park. As Harry pieces together fragments of their conversation, he’s drawn into a spiral of paranoia, guilt, and loneliness.
I explore what makes "The Conversation" a masterpiece—not just as a film about surveillance and paranoia, but as an intimate character study. I talk about Harry’s profound loneliness, his complicity in his own alienation, and the psychic toll of a life spent surveilling others from a distance.
If you’d like to support my work and get access to bonus episodes and exclusive posts, you can join me on Patreon: patreon.com/herheadinfilmspodcast.
You can follow me on Letterboxd. My email is herheadinfilms@gmail.com.
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In this special episode, I talk about why I’ve launched a new Patreon for Her Head in Films. This isn’t just about supporting a podcast—it’s about helping me stay afloat in a very difficult and uncertain time in my life. After losing my mom and becoming the sole provider for my household, I’m trying to rebuild from nothing. I work multiple jobs, and I’m doing everything I can to survive while continuing to create something meaningful.
This podcast is my soul work. It’s how I stay alive. It’s the archive of my emotional life, my grief, and my love for cinema. If you’ve ever felt connected to what I do here—if my voice has meant something to you—I invite you to join me on Patreon. Your support helps me keep going.
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/herheadinfilmspodcast
You can follow me on Instagram, Letterboxd, and Tumblr. My email is herheadinfilms@gmail.com.
In this episode, I talk about Rainer Werner Fassbinder’s 1972 film, "The Bitter Tears of Petra von Kant." The film tells the story of Petra, a successful fashion designer in a complicated and obsessive relationship with a younger woman named Karin. Set almost entirely in Petra’s apartment, the film unravels the entanglements of power, desire, and emotional dependency.
This episode is one of my most personal. I reflect on the ways the film mirrors an experience I had with unrequited love—an experience that consumed me for over two years. I talk about the madness and chaos of desire, the pain of not being chosen, and the way obsession can distort how we see ourselves and others.
Note: This episode was recorded before my mother's death. That is why I talk about her in the present tense.
You can follow me on Instagram, Letterboxd, and Tumblr. My email is herheadinfilms@gmail.com.
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In this episode, I talk about Hayao Miyazaki’s 1989 film, 'Kiki’s Delivery Service.' It’s about a 13-year-old witch who must spend a year away from home, learning to live independently and share her gifts. As Kiki opens a delivery service and begins to grow weary and uncertain, she meets women who offer her refuge, wisdom, and friendship. I talk about how this film explores what it means to lose your magic and to slowly find it again. I recorded this at a time when I’m learning to believe in myself again after great loss.
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You can follow me on Instagram, Letterboxd, and Tumblr. My email is herheadinfilms@gmail.com.
In this episode, I talk about Hayao Miyazaki’s 1988 film, "My Neighbor Totoro." It’s about two young girls who discover magical forest spirits after moving to a rural home with their father to be closer to their hospitalized mother. I recorded this episode in the wake of my own mother’s death, and I speak about how grief has shaped my experience of the film. I talk about watching the entire Studio Ghibli catalog and reflect on childhood, absence, and how nature and cinema offer solace when nothing else can.
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You can follow me on Instagram, Letterboxd, and Tumblr. My email is herheadinfilms@gmail.com.
In this episode, I talk about Ingmar Bergman’s 1972 film, "Cries and Whispers," a haunting and intimate portrait of a woman dying and the people around her. I begin by sharing about my own mother’s death, how I was with her to the very end, and how this film has taken on a deeper resonance for me now.
Though the episode was recorded before her cancer diagnosis and passing, I was already in the role of caregiver. I reflect on how "Cries and Whispers" captures the loneliness of illness, the coldness we sometimes encounter in the world, and the deep human need for tenderness, love, and presence, especially in the face of pain, death, and the deterioration of the body.
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You can follow me on Instagram, Letterboxd, and Tumblr. My email is herheadinfilms@gmail.com.
Note: My mother passed away on June 14th, 2025. Thank you to those who sent her a card or reached out to me. I have removed the Google document that is mentioned in this episode.
This isn’t a film episode. It’s a personal update. My mom has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, and I’m using this space to speak honestly about what that means for me, and what I’m carrying right now. We've been told that she has six to nine months left. This is a devastating and heartbreaking time for me. Thank you for listening.
Future updates will be provided either through upcoming episodes or on my website blog where I am writing an ongoing diary about being by my mother’s side during this time.
You can follow me on Instagram, Letterboxd, and Tumblr. My email is herheadinfilms@gmail.com.
In this episode, I talk about Frédéric Back's 1987 Academy Award-winning animated short film, "The Man Who Planted Trees." Adapted from a book by Jean Giono, it tells the story of a French shepherd who plants trees for decades and revitalizes an entire region. It's a film about how to live, how to care for the earth, and how to make the world a better place through small but meaningful acts.
This has become one of my favorite films of all time because of the way it inspires me to think about what I want to contribute and the kind of person I want to be. I can honestly say that this film changed something inside me. This episode is an attempt to describe how this one little film has made such a profound impact on my life.
You can follow me on Instagram, Letterboxd, and Tumblr. My email is herheadinfilms@gmail.com.
In this episode, I talk about Delbert Mann's precious 1955 film, "Marty." It tells the story of Marty, a 34-year-old butcher who has struggled all his life to find love. One night, he meets Clara, a woman who can relate to his loneliness. This is a film about the pain of invisibility and the power of connection. It's about what it means to finally feel seen after a lifetime of rejection.
This is a deeply personal episode for me, but it's one that I hope reaches anyone who might need to hear it and to be reminded that they are not alone.
The audio quality is the best I could provide right now. Apologies if it is not up-to-par for some. I did my best.
Note: I am not doing regular or consistent episodes, but I will release an episode when I feel I have something of value to say about a film.
You can follow me on Instagram, Letterboxd, and Tumblr. My email is herheadinfilms@gmail.com.
In this episode, I talk about Franco Piavoli's luminous 1996 documentary, "Voices Through Time." It captures the daily life of the inhabitants of a small Italian village. From children playing in the woods to lovers kissing in the grass to couples rapturously dancing, Piavoli shows us the human condition in all its richness and beauty.
My episode is a tribute to this life-affirming work of art, and it is a manifesto on what it means to be fully alive and how art saves us and even heals us.
This is my first episode in 3 years. I do not know if I will create more, but I was so deeply moved by this film that I felt compelled to share my thoughts about it. I appreciate all who listen.
The audio quality is the best I could provide right now. Apologies if it is not up-to-par for some. I did my best.
You can follow me on Instagram, Letterboxd, and Tumblr. My email is herheadinfilms@gmail.com.
A life update. I wanted to let people know where I'm at right now and how things are going for me.
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These mini episodes are unfiltered, raw, and less in-depth than my regular episodes. They're a space for me to talk casually about a film and also about my life. There is minimal research done, and I mainly share my immediate thoughts and feelings about a film.
In this mini episode about David Lynch's 1997 film, "Lost Highway," I talk about how what we bury always surfaces and all the different parts of ourselves that we don't understand. There are spoilers in this episode.
I'm on Instagram, Twitter, and Tumblr.
These mini episodes are unfiltered, raw, and less in-depth than my regular episodes. They're a space for me to talk casually about a film and also about my life. There is minimal research done, and I mainly share my immediate thoughts and feelings about cinema.
In this episode, I talk about how cinema was one of the things that saved me in the years after I lost my dad when I was a teenager.
I'm on Instagram, Twitter, and Tumblr.
These mini episodes are unfiltered, raw, and less in-depth than my regular episodes. They're a space for me to talk casually about a film and also about my life. There is minimal research done, and I mainly share my immediate thoughts and feelings about a film.
In this episode, I talk about surrealist cinema and the way that film allows us to enter a fascinating dream world. When we live in dreams, we live in possibility. I mention Maya Deren, Suzann Pitt, David Lynch, Dorothea Tanning, and Luis Buñuel.
I'm on Instagram, Twitter, and Tumblr.
These mini episodes are unfiltered, raw, and less in-depth than my regular episodes. They're a space for me to talk casually about a film and also about my life. There is minimal research done, and I mainly share my immediate thoughts and feelings about a film.
In this mini episode about David Lynch's 2001 film, "Mulholland Drive," I talk about living inside the mystery of a work of art and what it means to be a broken woman who longs for wholeness. There are spoilers in this episode.
I'm on Instagram, Twitter, and Tumblr.
These mini episodes are unfiltered, raw, and less in-depth than my regular episodes. They're a space for me to talk casually about a film and also about my life. There is minimal research done, and I mainly share my immediate thoughts and feelings about a film.
In this mini episode about Ridley Scott's 1979 film, "Alien," I talk about changes I've been going through and how this film made me think about the things we let into our lives and the monsters we battle.
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In this short episode, I talk about why I'm taking a break from the podcast. I thank everyone who has listened over the years. I'm deeply appreciative.
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In this episode, I talk about Robert Eggers's 2015 film, "The Witch." It looks at a New England Puritan family in the 1600s that is exiled from their community. They go to live in a remote area, and terrifying things begin to happen. The eldest daughter is blamed for these events and accused of being a witch. I talk about witch hunts, the feminist aspects of the film, my very personal reaction to the ending, and much more. There are spoilers in this episode.
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In this episode, I talk about the 1945 film "Humoresque." Joan Crawford plays a socialite tormented by her love for a younger man--played by John Garfield--who is a passionate violinist trying to break into the music world. Her money and connections help him find success, but her hard-drinking and intense desire lead to her own self-destruction. I adore this film. I talk about the music in it, how it looks at desire, and much more. As always, there are spoilers in this episode.
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In this episode, I talk about Michael Curtiz's 1945 film "Mildred Pierce." Joan Crawford won an Oscar for her performance as the title character, a mother who, in the wake of the end of her marriage, starts her own restaurant business and tries to give a better life to her two daughters--Veda and Kay. But her eldest daughter Veda has an insatiable and destructive desire for material possessions and Mildred will stop at nothing to give Veda all that she wants. This is a magnificent film about motherhood and class mobility. I talk about Joan Crawford's life, why she fascinates me as an actress, and I also delve into "Mommie Dearest." As always, there are spoilers in this episode.
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In this episode, I talk about Mike Newell's 1991 film, "Enchanted April." It's about four women in 1920s Britain who rent a castle in the Italian countryside. Their vacation in Italy will forever transform their lives. The much-needed break from ordinary life leads to spiritual rejuvenation, a deep connection to nature, and a powerful bond with each other. There are spoilers in this episode.
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In this episode, I talk about Audrey Wells's 2003 film, "Under the Tuscan Sun." I've loved this film since I was a teenager. It stars Diane Lane as a woman who goes through a devastating divorce and goes to Italy and renovates a house. In the process of this home renovation, she reconnects with life and experiences emotional renewal. For me, this film is really about a woman who survives heartbreak and creates a new life for herself. This episode contains spoilers.
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In this episode, I talk about Michael Haneke's controversial and thought-provoking 1997 film, "Funny Games." It's a thriller that breaks all the rules and raises questions about the representation of violence in mass media. A family is terrorized in their vacation home by two young men who take enjoyment in brutality and degradation. Haneke uses surprising and unexpected techniques to confront the audience of his film and to make us think deeper and more critically about the violence and suffering we see in movies and television. This episode contains spoilers.
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In this episode, I talk about Michael Haneke's 2012 film, "Amour." It's about Georges and Anne, an elderly Parisian couple who have their lives turned upside down after Anne suffers a stroke. This is a deeply devastating film that resonated with me. For over a year now, my mom has been struggling with her health and I've become a caregiver for her. I talk about the difficult experience of caring for someone and watching them suffer. I hope that, by sharing my experience, I can help others or just make them feel less alone. This episode contains major spoilers.
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In this episode, I'm talking about Jane Campion's 2009 film, "Bright Star." It's about the brief but beautiful love story between the poet John Keats and a young woman named Fanny Brawne. John Keats is considered one of the greatest poets who ever lived but he died young, before he and Fanny could create a life together. Their romance was marked by distance and the ever-present shadow of death but his passionate letters to her--which are featured throughout the film--reveal how deeply he was in love with Fanny and how much she meant to him. I talk about the relationship between Keats and Fanny, how the film shows the precarious life of a writer and explores the importance of poetry in our lives, and much more.
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In this episode, I talk about Jane Campion's 2003 film, "In the Cut." Meg Ryan plays, Frannie, an English teacher who becomes embroiled in a murder investigation after parts of a woman's body are found in her garden. She may have even seen the murder victim shortly before the crime. After the lead detective on the case interviews her, the two of them become involved in a dark, torturous relationship. "In the Cut" is a deeply erotic and feminist film that centers female sexuality and female pleasure. It also explores the dark side of desire and the complicated relationships between men and women. There are spoilers in this episode. I also talk explicitly and openly about sex.
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In this episode, I talk about Wim Wenders's 1988 film, "Wings of Desire." It's about an angel who falls in love with a trapeze artist and is willing to give up eternity and become human in order to be with her. I think this is such a powerful and poetic film about love, connection, and what it means to be human. It's a life-affirming film that always reminds me of the beauty of being alive. There are spoilers in this episode.
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In this episode, I talk about Joachim Trier's 2011 film "Oslo August 31st." It follows Anders, a young man just out of rehab for heroin addiction, as he walks around the city of Oslo, meeting old friends and trying to decide if life is worth living. I think this is a powerful and unforgettable film that reminds us of the beauty of being alive. It's one of my favorite films from the 2010s, and I urge you to watch it if you haven't seen it yet. There are major spoilers in this episode. I also talk about suicide and mental illness.
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In this episode, I talk about RaMell Ross's 2018 documentary, "Hale County This Morning, This Evening." In 2009, RaMell Ross moved to Hale County in Alabama to teach photography and coach basketball. While living there, he started to film the people around him. He recorded over 1300 hours of footage. From that material, he culled and mined images that are startling, poetic, and beautiful--images that bear witness to the complexities and struggles of black life in the rural South. Through the documentary, we are introduced to two men: Quincy Bryant and Daniel Collins. As the film unfolds, we come to know their dreams, their hardships, and the world they live in--a world of basketball, catfish plants, friends, sunsets, storm clouds, rain, and all the details that make up their ordinary lives. This is a contemplative, lyrical, and unforgettable documentary. There are spoilers in this episode.
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In this episode, I'm talking about Julie Dash's 1991 film Daughters of the Dust. This is a dreamlike film that focuses on the Peazant family who live on the sea islands off the coast of the Carolinas. They gather together for one last time on the eve of their departure from the island. It's a stunning cinematic achievement that looks at the bonds of family, the ghosts of history, and the rich lives of African American women. Dash has the distinction of being the first black woman to direct a feature film that was distributed in movie theaters. I talk all about this gorgeous film, including the grueling process of getting it made and I use an interview between Dash and feminist scholar, bell hooks, as a roadmap through the different themes and subjects that the film explores. There are spoilers in this episode.
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In this episode, I talk about George Sluizer's 1988 film "The Vanishing." It's about Rex and Saskia, a Dutch couple who go on vacation in France and have their lives turned upside down when Saskia is abducted. To give away more would be to spoil this masterpiece of suspense. There are spoilers in this episode.
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In this episode, I talk about Lynne Littman's 1983 film, "Testament." It's about how a mother and her children in a California town survive the aftermath of a nuclear bombing. We don't know who dropped the bombs, what has happened in the rest of the country, and we're not provided any political details. The film is solely about this family and how they confront the gradual and horrifying deterioration of their bodies due to radiation poisoning and the breakdown of society. Without a doubt, this is the most terrifying film I have ever seen. I talk about grief and loss, what makes the film so emotionally powerful, and the difference between watching it before and during the Covid-19 pandemic. There are spoilers in this episode.
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In this episode, I talk about Olivier Assayas's 2014 film "Clouds of Sils Maria." It's a complex film starring Juliette Binoche as Maria Enders, an actress who shot to stardom in her youth when she acted in a play about an older woman who is seduced by a younger woman. 20 years ago, she played the younger woman but now, in a revival of the play, she is set to play the older woman. This role brings up her fears about aging. Kristen Stewart stars alongside Binoche as an assistant to Maria Enders. To me, the heart of the film is the complicated relationship between these two women and the different ways they see life and the world. I also think this is a fascinating film about the process that an actress goes through to get into character. I talk about all that and much more. There are spoilers in this episode.
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In this episode, I talk about John Cassavetes's 1977 film, "Opening Night." It's about an actress named Myrtle Gordon (played by the magnificent Gena Rowlands) who witnesses the death of one of her fans and begins to spiral into a breakdown as she struggles to do a play that forces her to confront her feelings about aging. I talk all about why I love this film and Gena's performance but I also talk about some complicated and overwhelming feelings I've had since turning 30 last year and how women can feel anxiety about getting older in a world that worships youth. There are spoilers in this episode.
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In this episode, I talk about Charles Laughton's 1955 film "The Night of the Hunter." It's about two young children--John and Pearl--who are pursued by a dangerous man on the hunt for the money their father stole and gave to them. This is a classic film and a masterpiece and one of the most terrifying films I've ever seen. I provide some information about the making of the film and explore how it looks at evil, male violence, religion, and much more. There are spoilers in this episode.
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In this episode, I talk about Theo Angelopoulos's 1988 film, "Landscape in the Mist." This film follows a brother and sister--Alexandros and Voula--who leave their home in Greece and go on a journey to find their father in Germany. They've never met him and they long to have a connection with him. Over the course of their journey, they will see both the best and the worst that humanity has to offer. I talk about Angelopoulos and his cinema and provide an in-depth analysis of the film, exploring subjects like loss of innocence and loneliness. For listeners in the United States, this film is probably hard to find. It's not readily available right now but I hope one day that it is. There are spoilers in this episode. In the film, there is also a rape scene and a scene of an animal dying. I know those subjects might be upsetting for some people. Even if you have not seen this film, I urge you to at least listen to my section on Angelopoulos and how I discovered this film.
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In this episode, I talk about Jean-Pierre Melville's 1949 film "Le silence de la mer." It's set in France in 1941 at the time of the Second World War. The Germans are occupying France, and a German soldier stays with a niece and her uncle who use their silence as a form of resistance against him. Every night, he comes to them and talks about his life, his interests, his love of France, and many other subjects, but they refuse to acknowledge him or speak to him. Over the course of the film, their feelings for him start to get more complicated. He is an occupier in their country and in their house but the intimacy of their meetings also humanizes him. This is not Melville's most famous film but it's one that I think is profoundly important because of the way it asks us to expand our ideas about what constitutes resistance and how we interact with those who we're supposed to see as monstrous or as the enemy. I talk about Melville's life, the making of the film, and much more. There are spoilers in this episode.
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In this episode, I talk about Jean Vigo's wondrous and magical 1934 film, "L'atalante". On the surface, it's the simple story of Jean and Juliette, newlyweds who begin their life together on the boat where Jean lives and works. When things get boring and monotonous, Juliette begins dreaming of Paris and, when the boat stops near it, she wanders off to explore the city by herself, leaving Jean behind. This separation of the two lovers will test their new and fragile marriage. Jean Vigo is an iconic director who died at the age of 29 and left behind few films but his output continues to influence filmmakers today. L'atalante is his only feature film and it's not to be missed. In this episode, I talk about Vigo, the making of the film, and how the film explores romance, marriage, and much more. There are spoilers in this episode.
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In this episode, I talk about Terrence Malick's 2011 film "The Tree of Life". This is a monumental and important film in my life. It's hard to describe what it's about because it's really about everything--the cosmos, childhood, death, life, nature, and loss. The film is anchored by its focus on one family in 1950s Texas that is later rocked by unimaginable loss but added to this story is a collage of images that capture something as massive as the birth of the world and something as small as a child taking his first steps. Malick takes us all the way back to the time of the dinosaurs and transports us to what eternity or heaven might look like. I consider this to be the greatest film of the 21st century so far. I make my case, provide information on the making of the film, and go deeply into everything about this film, sharing my own raw emotions and what the film makes me remember and what it makes me think and feel. This film is part of my soul. That's the only way I can put it. There are spoilers in this episode.
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In this episode, I talk about Terrence Malick's 1978 film "Days of Heaven." Set in 1916, it follows a man named Bill, his sister Linda and his girlfriend Abby. All three are poor and go to the Texas panhandle to harvest wheat on the farm of a rich and mysterious man who, it turns out, is dying. Bill encourages Abby to start a romantic relationship with the man in hopes of getting some of his wealth but the scheme will have disastrous consequences for all of them. I talk in-depth about the making of the film and why it's haunted me for years. There are spoilers in this episode.
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In this episode, I talk about the 1942 classic, "Casablanca," directed by Michael Curtiz. Often cited as one of the greatest films ever made, Casablanca is set in 1941 during the Second World War and centers around three people: Rick Blaine, Ilsa Lund, and Victor Laszlo. Ilsa is married to Victor but had an affair with Rick after she believed Victor had been killed in a Nazi concentration camp for his resistance activities. All three are now in the Moroccan city of Casablanca, a temporary place where refugees from Europe go, desperately trying to obtain visas to get to the Americas. Will Ilsa and Victor get out of Casablanca? Will Rick help them? I talk about the making of the film and how it looks at things like nostalgia, personal sacrifice, and the plight of refugees. This episode is not just about the movie. It's also about an important film appreciation class that I took when I was in high school in 2004, a class that changed my life forever. There are spoilers in this episode.
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In this episode, I talk about Gene Kelly and Stanley Donen's 1952 musical, "Singin' in the Rain." Often voted the greatest musical ever made, this effervescent and hilarious film looks at Hollywood's difficult transition from silent pictures to the talkies. Central to this episode is my focus on a film appreciation class I took in high school in 2004. It changed my life forever. One of the films I watched in that class was "Singin' in the Rain." I talk about why I fell in love with it and why I think it's such a wonderful film.
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In this episode, I talk about Ang Lee's 2005 film, "Brokeback Mountain." It's a grand love story about two cowboys--Ennis and Jack--who fall in love in 1960s Wyoming. Their romance spans decades but, because of homophobia, they're never able to fully be together. I consider this a modern classic and one of the greatest love stories of all time. I talk about how the film was made, why it moves me so deeply, and much more.
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Sources
In this episode, I talk about Catherine Corsini's glorious 2015 film "Summertime" (aka "La Belle Saison"). Two women--Carole and Delphine--fall in love against the backdrop of the burgeoning women's movement in 1970s France. I discuss French feminism, the way Corsini represents lesbian love and desire, and much more.
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In this episode, I talk about Bong Joon-ho's 2003 film "Memories of Murder." It's based on the real-life Hwaseong serial murders that happened in a rural area of South Korea in the 1980s and early 1990s. At the time the film was released, the case was unsolved. However, shortly before recording my episode, major news broke that a suspect had been identified through DNA. I go into this new development and provide information on the original murders. Since the film is based on a true crime story, I discuss my own interest in true crime and focus on the way the film looks at abuses of power and violence against women. Finally, I talk in-depth about the ending. This episode contains spoilers. It also includes discussion of rape, violence, and dark subject matter.
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In this episode, I talk about Roberto Rossellini's groundbreaking 1954 film, "Journey To Italy." It stars Ingrid Bergman and George Sanders as Katherine and Alex Joyce, a couple whose relationship starts disintegrating during a vacation in Italy. Katherine is haunted by a man she knew before her marriage to Alex and who was stationed in Italy during World War II. As the distance grows between her and Alex, she visits museums that the man wrote about in his poetry. In her wanderings, she confronts death and the enormity of ancient history. "Journey To Italy" has haunted me for years. In this episode, I articulate why it's so compelling to me and discuss themes like time, history, mortality, death, and much more.
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In this episode, I talk about Vittorio De Sica's classic 1952 Italian Neorealist film, "Umberto D." It's about an elderly man trying to evade eviction against the backdrop of post-World War II Italy. As his life becomes more precarious and desperate, he clings to his only companion, his dog Flike, and struggles to survive. I talk about Italian Neorealism, why this film moves me so much, and more. At the beginning of the episode, I also reflect on this being my 100th episode! I'm thankful for all my listeners.
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In this episode, I talk about Kelly Reichardt's 2008 film, "Wendy and Lucy." It stars Michelle Williams as Wendy Carroll, a young woman stopping in Oregon on her way to Alaska when her car dies and she ends up losing her dog, Lucy. Much of the film revolves around her desperate search for Lucy and her interactions with various people who either show a bit of kindness or cruelty. Released at the beginning of the Great Recession, the film resonates more than a decade later in the way it looks at financial instability, the struggles of the working class, and the precarious nature of our lives. One bit of bad luck--her car breaking down--sends Wendy's life into a kind of tailspin that she tries to get out of with very few resources. I talk about many things in this episode, including the bonds we form with pets, our responsibility to other people, the making of the film, and much more! There are spoilers.
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(Movie Maker * Michelle Williams Finds a Safe Haven With Outsider Director Kelly Reichardt on Wendy and Lucy (LA Weekly) * Interview: Michelle Williams (In Contention) * Michelle Williams says "Wendy and Lucy" role a gift (Reuters) * Interview: Kelly Reichardt on “Wendy and Lucy” (IFC) * A Completely False Security: An Interview with Kelly Reichardt (Mubi) * Exclusive: Wendy and Lucy Filmmaker Kelly Reichardt Discusses Her Slice of Life New Indie (FlavorWire) * Kelly Reichardt by Gus Van Sant (Bomb Magazine) * Wendy and Lucy Director Kelly Reichardt on Michelle Williams and Why Alaska Is Overrated (Vulture) * Kelly Reichardt (Contemporary Film Directors) by Katherine Fusco and Nicole Seymour
In this episode, I explore the Dardenne brothers' 2014 film, "Two Days, One Night." Marion Cotillard stars as Sandra, a factory worker who tries to return to her job after a bout of depression only to find that her coworkers have voted to receive a bonus and eliminate her position. Over the course of a weekend, she visits each coworker and tries to convince them to support her in a second vote. I talk about my own experiences of working at a factory, struggling with depression, and living as a working class person. I also provide behind-the-scenes information about the making of the film and Marion Cotillard's preparation for her performance.
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In this episode, I explore Krzysztof Kieslowski's 1993 film, "Three Colors: Blue." Juliette Binoche plays a woman who loses her husband and daughter in a tragic car accident. Overwhelmed by grief, she tries to cut herself off from human connection and sever ties with the past and her memories. I provide behind-the-scenes information about the making-of the film and discuss key scenes and why they emotionally resonate with me. I also talk about the devastating loss of my father when I was just a teenager and detail my own struggle with grief. This episode contains spoilers.
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In this episode, I talk about Pablo Larrain's 2016 film, "Jackie." It looks at Jackie Kennedy's grief in the days after the assassination of her husband, President John F. Kennedy, in 1963. I explore how the film represents grief and trauma, delve into the real struggles Jackie faced after losing her husband, give information about the making of the film and Natalie Portman's performance, explain why the film is comforting to me as someone who has known a great deal of loss, and more. As I recorded this episode, the 13th anniversary of my father's death passed. I channel my heartbreak into the episode and go in-depth about losing him and how devastating his death has been for me. There are spoilers in this episode.
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Mathieu Amalric's "Barbara" (2018)
Separation by W.S. Merwin
"Jackie's Strength" by Tori Amos
La Vie En Rose (2007)
All My Sources
*The Despair of Jackie Kennedy (Biography.com) * Jackie Kennedy's interview with LIFE Magazine in 1963 * Jacqueline Kennedy's Struggle After J.F.K.'s Assassination: The Nightmares, Drinking, and Suicidal Thoughts (Vanity Fair) * Why Jacqueline Kennedy Didn't Take Off Her Pink Suit After JFK Was Assassinated (Biography.com) * Side-by-Side comparison of the White Hour tour in JACKIE and the real television special (Youtube)
On this episode, I talk about Agnès Varda's 2000 documentary, "The Gleaners and I." It looks at people who glean in modern society, whether in the fields, at orchards, or after the markets have closed in Paris. With her camera, Varda inserts herself into the film, reflecting on ageing and how she gleans images. I talk about Varda's presence in the film, how she critiques the wastefulness in society, and why the film remains deeply relevant. I also include a discussion of the follow-up documentary she made in 2002, called "The Gleaners and I: Two Years Later" and how it's a powerful look at the afterlife that a film can have.
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In this episode, I talk about Nicolas Philibert's 2002 documentary, "To Be and To Have." It focuses on a small school in rural France where the kind and patient teacher, Georges Lopez, instills a sense of worth in all of his students and connects with them one-on-one. The film shows the dynamics between the students who range in age, from kindergartners to teenagers and also looks at some of their struggles. I talk about childhood, separation, nostalgia, the importance of school in my own life, and the impact that various teachers had on me.
Full Show Notes:
All My Sources:
Film's fallen hero fights on for his class (The Guardian)
"Massif Hit" by Geoff Andrew (Time Out London)
Back to basis by Richard Falcon (Sight and Sound)
In this episode, I explore Todd Haynes's 2002 film, "Far From Heaven." It's an homage to 1950s melodramas and stars Julianne Moore as Cathy Whitaker, a Connecticut housewife who develops a deep connection to her African American gardener (Dennis Haysbert) while her marriage starts to crumble when her husband (Dennis Quaid) starts struggling with his repressed homosexuality. I talk about melodrama, woman's films, Douglas Sirk, Rainer Werner Fassbinder, how the film looks at race, sexuality, and gender, and much more! Spoilers are in this episode.
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Full Show Notes:
Magnificent Obsession, Imitation of Life * Frida by Julie Taymor * The Hours by Stephen Daldry * Melodrama * Woman's film * Rainer Werner Fassbinder * Ali: Fear Eats the Soul by Fassbinder * My Safe episode * "Shallow" by Lady Gaga * "Hey Jupiter" by Tori Amos * My episode on Brief Encounter * Carol by Todd Haynes
All My Sources
In this episode, I talk about Todd Haynes's 1995 film, "Safe." It stars Julianne Moore in her first collaboration with Haynes. Moore plays Carol White, a California housewife who comes down with a mysterious illness that could be a result of the chemicals and toxins in the environment. When her doctor and mainstream medicine offer her no help, she seeks relief and answers at a New Age treatment center called Wrenwood that espouses individualist self-help ideas. I talk about my own struggle with chronic health issues, how women are often not believed by doctors, why the film remains so relevant to the modern world we live in, and I also critique self-help messages.
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In this episode, I talk about the mysterious power and beauty of Jane Campion's 1993 film, "The Piano." It stars Holly Hunter as Ada McGrath, a Scottish woman who goes to New Zealand with her daughter, Flora, for an arranged marriage to Alisdair Stewart. Their marriage is troubled from the start, and Ada ends up falling for George Baines. I share my memories of watching the film for the first time and talk about themes of muteness, violence against women, and the complicated relationship between Ada and Baines.
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film (The Guardian) * 20 Years After The Piano, We've All Failed Holly Hunter (The
Atlantic) * bell hooks's essay that includes critiques of The Piano * Colonialism in The Piano (Cinema Oceania) * Romanticizing Colonialism: Power and Pleasure in Jane Campion's The
Piano by Reshela DuPuis
In this episode, I talk about Maïwenn's "My King," a raw and intense film that stars Emmanuelle Bercot as a woman struggling to heal her body and mind in the wake of a toxic and destructive relationship. I discuss how the film looks at emotional abuse, shows a woman reconstructing herself, and questions culturally-held beliefs about love. At the beginning of the episode, I also talk about how Andrei Tarkovsky's 1979 film, "Stalker," recently helped me through a difficult time.
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In this episode, I talk about Peter Webber's 2003 film "Girl with a Pearl Earring." It's an adaptation of the 1999 Tracy Chevalier novel by the same name, which imagines how Johannes Vermeer's 17th century painting, "Girl with a Pearl Earring" came to be. It's 1665 in Delft, Holland and a young girl named Griet goes to work at the home of the Vermeers to provide for her family after her father is injured at work. She enters a home rocked by domestic and financial instability. When Vermeer starts to paint Griet to appease his lecherous patron, more drama ensues as Vermeer's wife becomes jealous and the attraction between Vermeer and Griet intensifies. I discuss the profound impact that both the book and the film had on my life because it sparked my deeper engagement with art. For this episode, I talk about Johannes Vermeer's life and art, and I explain why I think the film is so powerful in the way that it centers the life of a teenage girl who is a maid, explores the difficulties of women's lives in the 17th century, and shows the power of art to expand and enrich our minds.
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In this episode, I talk about Pete Travis's dreamy 2015 film, "The Go-Between," produced by the BBC, based on the classic L.P. Hartley novel of the same name, and starring Jim Broadbent, Vanessa Redgrave, and Lesley Manville. It focuses on a 12-year-old boy named Leo Colston who, in the summer of 1900 in England, goes to stay at the opulent estate of his friend, Marcus Maudsley. During his time there, Leo becomes the messenger, or go-between, for Marcus's sister, Marian, and her secret lover, Ted Burgess. After the summer, none of their lives will ever be the same and Leo will be forever haunted by what he experienced. I talk about class, nostalgia, loss of innocence, and the devastating wounds of childhood. At the beginning of the episode, I also discuss how cinema has helped me cope with trauma. This episode contains spoilers.
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In this episode, I talk about Patricia Cardoso's feminist coming-of-age classic, "Real Women Have Curves" (2002). I discuss body image, factory work, the exploitation of immigrant labor, and the profoundly political and radical messages in the film. At the beginning of the episode, I also talk about recently re-watching Krzysztof Kieslowski's "The Double Life of Veronique" (1991).
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In this episode, I talk about Nancy Savoca's beautiful 1991 coming-of-age film, "Dogfight." It stars River Phoenix and Lili Taylor as Eddie Birdlace and Rose Fenny, two teens who connect in 1963 in San Francisco, just before the assassination of John F. Kennedy and the escalation of the Vietnam War. It's the night before Eddie is to be sent over to Vietnam and he and his marine buddies are holding a dogfight, which is a party where men invite the ugliest women they can find and the one with the most unattractive date wins a cash reward. Eddie invites Rose, but, although their initial meeting doesn't go well, over the course of the film these two very different people gradually develop a profound connection. In my discussion, I talk about the politics of ugliness and beauty standards, the damage of toxic masculinity, and provide information on the making of the film. This episode contains spoilers.
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In this episode, I interview director Leon Lee on his latest documentary, "Letter from Masanjia." In 2012, a story in The Oregonion went viral. A woman named Julie Keith had opened a box of Halloween decorations from KMart and discovered an SOS letter written by Sun Yi, a man imprisoned and tortured in a Chinese labor camp for engaging in the spiritual practice of Falun Gong. Keith publicized the letter, and the international attention eventually led to the abolishment of these labor camps and freed many people in the process. I talk to Lee about Sun Yi's story, how the documentary was made, and the larger issues it raises about the source of cheap goods, the persecution of minorities, and the power of small actions. Go to letterfrommasanjia.com for more information on the film and the steps you can take to make a difference.
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In this episode, I explore François Ozon's mysterious and emotionally devastating 2000 film "Under the Sand," starring Charlotte Rampling as Marie Drillon, a woman whose husband, Jean, unexpectedly disappears during a vacation on the beach. The film is about Marie's struggle to come to terms with the loss of Jean. I talk about the complex career of Rampling, why her performance is so powerful, and why I personally connect to this film because of its look at loss and death.
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and AUTUMN SONATA * The Night Porter * Charlotte Rampling: The Look * Discovering Charlotte Rampling * Picnic at Hanging Rock * Bunny Lake is Missing * The Vanishing * Disappeared * Unsolved Mysteries * Francois Ozon's interview with The Talks * Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking * The Waves by Virginia Woolf * 45 Years * Vive L'amour
In this episode, Carolyn Petit joins me for a conversation about Jem Cohen's 2012 film "Museum Hours." Carolyn is managing editor at Feminist Frequency and is the co-host of the podcasts Feminist Frequency Radio and Cinemaball. "Museum Hours" is about Johann, a security guard at a Vienna art museum and how he meets Anne, a woman visiting the city to see her cousin who is in a coma. Over the course of Anne's stay, she and Johann become friends as he shows her around and offers emotional support in her time of need. In our discussion, Carolyn and I explore the power of art, the mystery of human connection, and much more.
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Kenyon * American Experience episode on Walt Whitman * Simon Schama's The Power of Art series * The Lonely City by Olivia Laing * John Berger's Ways of Seeing * "Musée des Beaux Arts" by W.H. Auden
In this episode, I talk about Robert Wise's 1963 cult classic, "The Haunting." It's based on Shirley Jackson's 1959 novel "The Haunting of Hill House," and stars Julie Harris as Eleanor Lance, a young woman who joins three people at a haunted house to investigate paranormal phenomena. Eleanor has spent over a decade caring for her invalid mother who has recently died. I explore how this film represents psychological disintegration and a woman searching for belonging as well as how the film uses sound and cinematography to create a frightening, claustrophobic atmosphere. At the beginning of the episode, I also talk about the recent news that Filmstruck is shutting down.
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Full Show Notes:
Lived in the Castle, Hangsaman * Shirley Jackson: A Rather Haunted Life by Ruth Franklin * Netflix show Haunting of Hill House * A Star is Born Patreon episode * The Book of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa * Wanda episode * Carnival of Souls episode * Late Spring episode * A Cinema of the Unruly Woman episode * The Witch (2015)
In this episode, I delve into Alejandro Amenábar's haunting 2001 film, "The Others." This episode contains FULL SPOILERS. If you have not seen the film and you choose to listen to this episode, it will be ruined for you.
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In this episode, I welcome my first guest, Jesse Ataide, and we talk about our love for John Cromwell's 1945 film, "The Enchanted Cottage." It tells the story of Laura Pennington, a woman who struggles with her unattractiveness, and Oliver Bradford, a disfigured and disabled WWII veteran who fall in love in an old cottage that seems to have the magical power to transform the way they see each other. In our discussion, Jesse and I touch on themes of ugliness, queerness, disability, and much more.
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In this episode, I talk about the intense personal connection I feel to Lynne Ramsay's 2002 film, "Morvern Callar," starring Samantha Morton. I discuss how the film represents grief, death, and sensuality, and I situate Morvern within something I call a Cinema of the Unruly Woman.
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In this episode, I talk about Carol Morley's haunting 2011 documentary, "Dreams of a Life," which tells the tragic story of Joyce Carol Vincent, a woman who died in 2003 but whose body wasn't discovered in her apartment until 2006. No one reported her missing or noticed she was gone. Joyce was beautiful, talented, and had lovers and friends throughout her life. How had this woman been completely forgotten? Morley spent years searching for answers. Her film includes interviews with people who knew Joyce and re-enactments that imagine what she was like. In the end, Morley constructs a portrait of a complicated, mysterious, and ultimately unknowable woman, and she also probes important themes such as loneliness, disconnection, and the breakdown of community.
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In this episode, I talk about Jessica Hausner's 2009 film, "Lourdes." It tells the story of Christine, a young woman in a wheelchair who goes to the famous Catholic holy site of Lourdes in France where she and other pilgrims hope for healing and possibly a miraculous cure. I talk about loneliness, disability, and my own struggle with religion.
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In this episode, I provide my concluding thoughts on the final two episodes of "Sharp Objects." I discuss episode 7 ("Falling") and episode 8 ("Milk"). I discuss female violence, my conflicting emotions about the ending, why this is one of the most important shows I've ever seen, and much more.
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Friends" * Miles Surrey, "In Sharp Objects, the Answers Were There All Along"
In this episode, I talk about Wong Kar-wai's 2000 film, "In the Mood for Love," which follows two people--Mr. Chow and Mrs. Chan--in 1960s Hong Kong whose spouses are cheating on them with each other. Mrs. Chan and Mr. Chow spend more and more time together, imagining how their spouses met and started their affair, but they start to fall in love. Intent on not acting like their spouses, they resist temptation. In my exploration of the film, I emphasize the themes of longing, loneliness, desire, memory, and nostalgia.
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What I've Been Watching Notes
Episodes Mentioned
Other Notes
In this episode, I talk about David Lean's 1945 film, "Brief Encounter." Set in 1938, in pre-WWII England, it's about Laura and Alec, two strangers who fall in love despite being married to other people. I talk about how the film centers a woman's tormented inner life and why it's such a romantic classic.
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In this episode, I recap episodes 5 ("Closer") and 6 ("Cherry") of the HBO limited series, "Sharp Objects." I talk about how the relationship between Camille and Adora is getting darker and how the show continues to explore trauma and memory in an evocative way. I share some of my own personal memories and struggles when it comes to grief and loss. Warning for discussion of self-harm, sexuality, and rape.
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In this episode, I talk about James Ivory's 1987 film, "Maurice." It's based on the novel of the same name by E.M. Forster. It's set in 1910 and tells the story of Maurice Hall, a young man who attends Cambridge University and falls in love with Clive Durham. The film follows them over several years, tracing the turmoil of their relationship. Clive eventually marries, and Maurice finds love with Alec Scudder, a man who works on Clive's estate. Made and released in the 1980s, at the height of the AIDS epidemic, "Maurice" is a film that celebrates and affirms queer love. It features brilliant performances by James Wilby, Hugh Grant, and Rupert Graves, who all were deeply committed to their roles. For this episode, I talk about E.M. Forster, Merchant Ivory Productions, the filming of "Maurice," and I explain why this dreamy and romantic film continues to enchant me.
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Her Head in Films Episodes mentioned:
Writers, other films, etc mentioned:
Sources cited:
In this episode, I recap episodes 3 and 4 of the HBO limited series, "Sharp Objects." I discuss the importance of more women having a role in films and television, my current obsession with woman-centric crime fiction, the show's representation of female sexuality and mother/daughter relationships, and much more.
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In this episode, I talk about Ingmar Bergman's devastating 1978 film, "Autumn Sonata." It's an unforgettable portrait of a mother/daughter relationship that is toxic and damaging. It was Ingmar's only collaboration with Ingrid Bergman. Their working relationship was difficult at times, but there is no denying that both she and Liv Ullmann give powerhouse performances.
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In this episode, I explore Ingmar Bergman's 1957 classic, "Wild Strawberries," in which an elderly man remembers moments from his past and struggles to connect with the people in his life. The film helped to catapult Bergman to worldwide fame and is one of his most enduring films. While I do provide an in-depth analysis of the film, I also discuss how it brought up my own childhood memories and made me reflect on my painful loneliness, alienation, and disconnection.
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In this episode, I try something new by talking about the first two episodes of the HBO limited series, "Sharp Objects." This is more than just an episode recap. It's a personal exploration of the ways in which the show represents memory, trauma, mental illness, and complicated women characters. I discuss why I can't get the show out of my system and why I felt the need to talk about it. I will cover this series as it unfolds on HBO, bringing you an in-depth analysis every two weeks that will cover the last two episodes of the show.
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In this episode, I talk about Ingmar Bergman's 1951 film "Summer Interlude." It's about Marie, a young ballet dancer who receives the diary of a young man with whom she had a passionate love affair in her teens. The diary plunges her back into memories of their brief and tragic romance. I explore themes of love, loss, mourning one's childhood, how we build up walls to keep out pain, and much more.
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In this episode, I explore the mystery and power of Jonathan Glazer's 2004 masterpiece, "Birth." This is the most important episode I've ever produced for the podcast. This is the film that defines me, that I can't get out of my system, that has haunted me for over a decade. I have never identified so profoundly with a character as I do with the woman in this film. She is Anna (played by Nicole Kidman), a widow who encounters a 10-year-old boy who claims to be the reincarnation of her dead husband, Sean. For me, "Birth" is a film about grief and ghosts and how we can't always let go of the dead. I talk about my own struggle with grief, how this film is part of my soul, and quote Joan Didion and James Joyce as I chart the emotional impact of this unforgettable movie.
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In this episode, I explore Gena Rowlands's raw and uncompromising performance as Mabel Longhetti in John Cassavetes's 1974 film, "A Woman Under the Influence." Mabel is a woman struggling with mental illness and coming apart in the midst of family turmoil. I talk about why Cassavetes's work was so groundbreaking and provide details about his and Rowlands's relationship. The heart of the episode is my in-depth analysis of Rowlands's acting in the film and why I think she gives one of the greatest performances of all time. I also talk about my recent move, my own struggle with mental illness, the suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, and I expand on my previous ideas about a Cinema of the Unruly Woman.
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Listen to Episodes Mentioned:
More about the HBO documentary, A Dangerous Son
John Cassavetes Interviews and Research:
Gena Rowlands Interviews:
In this episode, I explore Michael Haneke's 2001 film, "The Piano Teacher." Isabelle Huppert gives one of the greatest acting performances of all time as a masochistic piano teacher who becomes involved with one of her students. If you have not seen this film, I insist that you watch it before listening to this episode. There are spoilers. This episode also contains graphic sexual content.
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In this episode, I explore Yasujiro Ozu's 1949 classic, "Late Spring." Setsuko Hara stars as 27-year-old Noriko who feels a strong bond with her widower father and prefers to live with him instead of getting married. Worried that he will doom his daughter to an unfulfilling life, Noriko's father claims that he intends to re-marry and insists that Noriko have a life of her own with a husband. I talk about Ozu's life, why his directing style is unique, and why this film moves me so deeply. I focus on the relationship between Noriko and her father, and I question why we prioritize romantic love and often do not acknowledge the power of other kinds of love, like that for our parents or our friends.
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In this episode, I continue my exploration of films that helped me through my grief after my father died in 2006. "The Lives of Others" is an important film in my life. I have intense memories of watching it for the first time in a theater. It's about playwright, Georg Dreyman, and his lover, Christa-Maria Sieland, who come under surveillance in 1984 in the German Democratic Republic (GDR). After WWII, Germany was split between West Germany and East Germany, the latter being controlled by the Soviet Union. It was a repressive government that used a secret police known as the Stasi to turn everyday people into informants through threats, interrogation, and violence. I talk about why this film is so important due to its examination of themes like surveillance and how people resist (or don't resist) under a repressive government.
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After my father died in 2006, my mom and I lost ourselves in the films shown at a local discount theater. In this episode, I talk about Guillermo del Toro's "Pan's Labyrinth," a movie I saw in that theater and one that left a lasting impression on me. This episode is deeply personal. It's not just about "Pan's Labyrinth." It's also about grief, mental illness, my love of cinema, and much more. It even features an interview with my mom. She's making her very first appearance on the podcast! We talk about why films were such a comfort to us as we struggled to cope with our grief.
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Show notes, including meditation resources:
In this episode, I explore Donna Deitch's 1985 cult classic, "Desert Hearts." It's about Vivian Bell, who travels to Reno, Nevada in 1959 to get a quickie divorce. While she stays at a ranch for six weeks, she meets the vivacious Cay Rivvers, and the two women fall in love. "Desert Hearts" was one of the first films to represent a lesbian relationship without it ending in tragedy or suicide.
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For decades, the work of Kathleen Collins languished in obscurity. She was a writer, filmmaker, and professor who is considered one of the first black women to direct a feature-length film. That film is 'Losing Ground,' an extraordinary portrait of a marriage in turmoil and a complex representation of a deeply intellectual woman in search of ecstasy and magic. In this episode, I explore Collins's life, discuss the barriers that have made it difficult for black women to make films both in the past and today, and I provide an in-depth analysis of 'Losing Ground.'
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In this episode, I explore Ounie Lecomte's moving 2009 debut feature film, "A Brand New Life." The film is based on Lecomte's own life and centers around a 9-year-old girl who is abandoned by her father at an orphanage in Seoul in 1975. I discuss the film's themes of abandonment, loss, loneliness, and the marginalization of women. I also talk about more general things at the beginning of the episode, like why the Her Head in Films podcast means so much to me and why I am putting so much of myself into it.
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Things Discussed in this Episode:
For the month of April, I'm focusing on debut feature films by women directors. I'm kicking off the series with Joanna Hogg's 2007 debut film, "Unrelated." The film explores the emotional crisis of a woman who escapes ostensible marriage problems by going on a vacation in Italy with a friend. It's a subtle but devastating look at loneliness, ageing, and disconnection. There are spoilers in this episode.
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Things cited and discussed in this episode:
What happens when cinema becomes an obsession? I explore that question and many more in this episode on Abbas Kiarostami's 1990 genre-blending film, "Close-Up." It revolves around the true story of Hossein Sabzian, a passionate cinephile who deceives a family by impersonating the director, Mohsen Makhmalbaf, and is charged with fraud in an Iranian court. All the people involved in the story play themselves in the film, but, at every turn, Kiarostami blends documentary and fiction and raises questions about the nature of truth and the construction of reality. Not only that, this film is an unforgettable portrait of a man willing to sacrifice everything for cinema.
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In 1960, Michelangelo Antonioni released "L'avventura," a film that would make him world-famous and that would change cinema forever. Antonioni was crucial in elevating cinema to an art form and expanding the language of film by constructing a deeply visual style that would influence filmmakers for decades to come. In this episode, I talk about the mysterious power of "L'avventura," why it has haunted me for years, and why it matters so much.
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In this episode, I talk about Agnès Varda's 1962 film "Cléo from 5 to 7." It's about a French pop singer who is waiting for test results that will confirm if she has cancer. This film was my introduction to Varda and got me interested in her unique and important body of work. I talk about time, loneliness, and mortality in "Cléo from 5 to 7". I also provide a brief overview of Varda's life and work.
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Listen to my episode on Varda's 1985 film "Vagabond"
In this episode, I explore all the many facets of Chris Marker's landmark and influential 1962 short film, "La Jetée." Told almost exclusively through black-and-white still photographs and set in a post-apocalyptic Paris, it tells the story of how the survivors of World War III harness the memory of one man who is haunted by a scene from his childhood. I talk about time, memory, grief, nostalgia, and so much more. This film is responsible for sparking my interest in European art house cinema.
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I would not be a cinephile without Carl Theodor Dreyer's "The Passion of Joan of Arc." This silent film from 1928 awakened me to the power of cinema and changed my life forever. On this episode, I discuss the life and times of Joan of Arc, provide behind-the-scenes information about how the film was made, and offer my own analysis of the film itself and why it made such a monumental impact on me.
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For thousands of years, stray cats have roamed the streets of Istanbul, becoming an integral part of the city. Ceyda Torun's extraordinary 2016 documentary, "Kedi," is not just a touching look at the cute and scrappy cats, it's also a beautiful portrait of the people of Istanbul who take care of them. Woven into my discussion of the film is my own experience of losing my beloved cat, Bella, in 2016. I talk about how she taught me to love and impacted my life in profound ways.
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I saw 'Dead Poets Society' for the first time when I was a teenager. It was a revelatory film for me because of the way it celebrated the power of literature and poetry. In this episode, I talk about why the film means so much to me. I also provide behind-the-scenes information about the making of the film and even discuss criticisms that it has received over the years.
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Larisa Shepitko is one of the greatest directors that many people have never heard of. In this episode, I seek to change that. I talk about two of her greatest films: "Wings" (1966) and "The Ascent" (1977). Shepitko died early in 1979 in a car accident at the age of 41. In her brief life, she created films that were concerned with the individual psychology of her characters and in raising moral and spiritual questions for her audience. She was married to fellow director, Elem Klimov, who made a short film about her after she died. It's called "Larisa," and I also talk about it. Warning: this episode contains spoilers.
"Wings" is about a Soviet woman who fought in the Second World War and who struggles to adjust to her more mundane life after the war. She is also haunted by the lover she lost in the war. The film explores themes of nostalgia, loss, and aching. "The Ascent" is about two partisans--Sotnikov and Rybak--who are captured by the Nazis in Belarus during the Second World War. Sotnikov refuses to collaborate with the Nazis, while Rybak does collaborate. The film examines the complex moral issues of the war and extends sympathy and respect to all the characters.
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For the final episode of 2017, I thought it would be interesting to spotlight three television shows that I loved over the year--The Keepers, Big Little Lies, and the final season of Broadchurch--and how they address violence against women, toxic masculinity, and patriarchy. Trigger warning for discussion of sexual violence. Spoiler alert for discussion of certain details in each show, though I do not talk about the final scene of Big Little Lies, and I don't reveal the perpetrator on Season 3 of Broadchurch. I do discuss details of Season 1 and 2 of Broadchurch.
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In this episode, I talk about Elem Klimov's monumental 1985 Soviet film, "Come and See," which follows a young man named Florya who witnesses atrocities and violence that happen in Nazi-occupied Belarus in 1943. The film is both personal and historical. Klimov himself experienced the Second World War as a child in Stalingrad. He was forever scarred by what he witnessed. Together with writer, Ales Adamovich, Klimov wrote the script for "Come and See" and based it on real-life testimonies. Over 600 villages were destroyed by the Nazis in Belarus during the Second World War. In the end, around 2 million people in Belarus lost their lives during the war. This film bears witness to their suffering and it's also a searing representation of the horror of war. Klimov resists glorifying violence. Instead, he shows us the sickening and frightening reality of what war is and what it does to human lives. While the film is graphic, it is also restrained, often only showing us things from afar, like a glimpse of a pile of dead bodies or the sounds of people burning in a building. I discuss how I think this is one of the most important films about war and atrocity ever made and how a film like this can awaken our sense of morality and truly transform the viewer.
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In this episode, I talk about Ettore Scola's 1977 film, "A Special Day," starring Sophia Loren and Marcello Mastroianni in some of the most raw performances of their careers. The film takes place in 1938 on an important day when Hitler visits Mussolini in Rome. While much of the city attends parades and festivities to celebrate the meeting, two people remain in their apartments: Antonietta (Loren), a working class housewife who believes in fascist ideals; and Gabriele (Mastroianni), a former radio announcer, antifacscist, and gay man. On this day in 1938, Antonietta and Gabriele--two people from vastly different backgrounds, holding profoundly different political beliefs--will meet and find connection.
In this episode, I weave together a discussion of the film with my thoughts on the one-year anniversary of the election of Donald Trump, exploring how right-wing extremism and fascism have been on the rise here in the United States. "A Special Day" has much to show us about gender, sexuality, masculinity, political divisions, and human connection. It also has much to tell us not just about Italy in 1938 but the United States in 2017 and beyond.
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Released in 2001, Le Stade de Wimbledon (The Wimbledon Stage) is French actor Mathieu Amalric's second feature film, and it stars his ex-wife, the brilliant Jeanne Balibar. It is based on the Italian novel, Lo stadio di Wimbledon by Daniele Del Giudice. In Trieste, Italy a woman searches for information about Bobby Volher, a writer who never wrote a book. She wants to know why someone with so much talent did not seek out publication. The film never really answers this question but that's not the point. The film wants to raise questions, it wants to meander and explore and investigate; it revels in the search itself and asks us to consider what we might discover along the way.
For me, this film is so beguiling because it's interested in the meaning and mystery of writing itself. Why do we write? For ourselves? For others? For fame and publication? And what do we make of writers who had little interest in being published, like Emily Dickinson? I explore all this and more in this episode.
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It's the most ghoulish time of the year now that Halloween is here. In this episode, I explore Herk Harvey's 1962 cult horror classic "Carnival of Souls." The film tells the story of Mary Henry, a church organist who survives a car crash and is menaced by a zombie-like man. What makes "Carnival of Souls" so powerful and unforgettable for me is its narrative ambiguity, its complex portrait of Mary, and its exploration of loneliness, alienation, disconnection, and trauma.
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In this episode, I talk about Agnieszka Holland's beloved 1993 children's film "The Secret Garden," which tells the story of Mary Lennox, a 10-year-old girl orphaned after her parents die in an earthquake in India. She is sent to England to live with her uncle, Lord Craven, and discovers a secret garden on his estate. I discuss not only the film itself and its themes of love, connection, friendship, and regeneration, but I also explore what it means to re-watch films from your childhood and how that can be both a valuable and emotional experience.
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In this episode, I talk about Lee Chang-dong's devastating 2010 film "Poetry". It tells the story of 66-year-old Mija, who is struggling with her health and with the revelation that her grandson, Wook, is connected to the death of a young girl named Agnes. As all this is happening, Mija is also taking a poetry class and desperately wants to write a poem.
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In this episode, I talk about Andrea Arnold's 2009 film "Fish Tank." It's about 15-year-old Mia who lives on a housing estate in England with her mother and younger sister. Mia has a passion for dance and spends a lot of time alone choreographing dance routines. The film explores issues like poverty, the mother-daughter relationship, and desire. Andrea Arnold is one of my favorite directors, and I think "Fish Tank" is her best. I also think "Fish Tank" is one of the best films of the century so far because it centralizes a teenage girl's subjectivity and shows the damaging effects of capitalism and inequality on people's lives.
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In Laura Citarella and Veronica Llinás's 2015 Argentine film "Dog Lady," a woman lives in the woods with no companionship except that of her dogs. This nameless woman lives outside of society, either by necessity or by choice or perhaps a little bit of both. The film provides little information about her and prefers to linger in silences and the sounds of nature. It's a slow, immersive cinematic experience that shows an unconventional way of life. In many ways, the film reminded me of other films that similarly portray women who are misfits and outcasts, like Mona in Agnes Varda's "Vagabond" (1985) or Janina in Agnieszka Holland's "Spoor" (2017) or even the title character of Barbara Loden's "Wanda" (1970). These are women who are, in a word, unruly and who are often marginalized because of their unruliness. They resist, subvert, transgress. They defy our attempts to categorize or make sense of them. They are flawed and excessive and different and strange. They are part of what I've coined a Cinema of the Unruly Woman, and I talk more about what that is and how I hope that it can be a starting point for looking at representations of women who are difficult, challenging, and elusive. I think we need these kinds of representations, these kinds of women, and I will continue to examine, explore, and champion a Cinema of the Unruly Woman.
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Released in 1970, Barbara Loden's "Wanda" is a monumental achievement of American independent cinema. It tells the story of a woman living on the margins of society, rejected by almost everyone, a failure in just about everything she does. Loden was inspired to make the film after reading about a woman who was sentenced to 20 years in prison and thanked the judge. "Wanda" was Loden's first and only film. For me, "Wanda" is personal. It is about the many lost, forgotten, erased, and silenced women in the world, including myself.
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In this episode, I talk about Katell Quillévéré's "Heal The Living" (2016) and Radu Jude's "Scarred Hearts" (2016), two films that explore illness, disability, physical vulnerability, and the thin line between life and death. I delve into many issues, including the harmful rhetoric we use to talk about illness and how health is too often attached to morality and personal character. Both films show us how the body is always precarious, that a healthy body can suddenly and inexplicably become ill.
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In this episode, I talk about the ways in which Vadim Perelman's 2003 film "House of Sand and Fog" foreshadowed many of the issues that would dominate American life in the years after its release, including growing anti-immigrant sentiment and people losing their homes during the 2008 Recession. I also discuss my own personal experience of losing my house and almost becoming homeless. "House of Sand and Fog" is about the collision between two lives--that of Kathy, a young woman who is mistakenly evicted from her home and Mr. Behrani, an Iranian immigrant who buys that home at an auction and sees it as his path to the American Dream. After their lives intersect, neither one of them will ever be the same again.
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In this episode, I talk about Sally Potter's 1997 film, "The Tango Lesson." The film stars Potter as herself in a semi-autobiographical story about a film director who becomes interested in learning how to tango. The film explores her complex, fraught, and intense relationship with her dance instructor, Pablo Veron, also playing himself. Films about dance often end up being about human relationships--about touch, intimacy, and the power struggle between men and women. I dig into all this and more.
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In this episode, I examine Agnès Varda's 1985 film, "Vagabond". It won the Golden Lion at the Venice Film Festival and Sandrine Bonnaire won a César Award for her performance as Mona Bergeron, a drifter in Southern France who ends up dead due to exposure to cold. The film begins with Mona's death and then goes backward, exploring her life through the various people she met while on the road. In the episode, I talk about the making of the film, Varda's own thoughts about the film and the character of Mona, and I dig into various issues that the film explores, like the lives of vagabonds, the dangers that women face on the road, the meaning of freedom, and much more.
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Often maligned and disparaged, made-for-tv movies from the 1990s have gotten a bad reputation. The biggest critique is that they always portray women as victims. As a child of the 1990s (I was born in 1989), I grew up on these made-for-tv movies that usually aired on the Lifetime Network. As an adult, I wanted to revisit two of these films, in particular, and see what they had to offer. I share my analysis in this episode. While both films--"She Fought Alone" and "Lying Eyes"--have problematic aspects to them, I think they also contain some important messages about violence against women, rape culture, and toxic masculinity. I'm not just interested in how these films portray women but in how they portray men. These films make visible the violence against women in our society and they show the subtle and not-so-subtle ways in which men harm women. In the end, I argue for the value of looking at these made-for-tv movies in a complex and nuanced way.
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In this episode, I talk about Alain Resnais's 1959 classic "Hiroshima Mon Amour." I combine excerpts from Marguerite Duras's screenplay for the film and portions of John Hersey's "Hiroshima" to explore how the film represents (or resists representing) horror and atrocity. I also look at how it portrays memory and grief. As Duras writes, "Impossible to talk about Hiroshima. All one can do is talk about the impossibility of talking about Hiroshima."
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Original artwork by Dhiyanah Hassan
In this episode, I explore the controversies and complexities of Abdellatif Kechiche's 2013 film "Blue is the Warmest Color," which also took home the Palme d'Or at the Cannes Film Festival.
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Original artwork by Dhiyanah Hassan
In this deeply personal episode, I discuss Ken Loach's Palme d'Or winning "I, Daniel Blake," which is a searing indictment of how the poor and disabled are treated in modern-day Britain and a powerful plea for humanity and justice.
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Original artwork by Dhiyanah Hassan
In this episode, I discuss Abbas Kiarostami's Koker Trilogy, which consists of the films "Where Is My Friend's House?," "Life, and Nothing More," and "Through the Olive Trees." They span the years 1987 to 1994. Film scholars have grouped these films together because they take place in the geographical region of Koker, a village in Northern Iran that was devastated by a 1990 earthquake that killed an estimated 50,000 people. In the trilogy, Kiarostami explores many themes, including friendship and the continuation of life, while also pushing the boundaries of cinema by experimentally blurring the line between fiction and reality, documentary and artifice.
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Original artwork by Dhiyanah Hassan
In this episode, I focus on two films and the ways in which they portray friendship and childhood. The first film I talk about is Abbas Kiarostami's 1987 film "Where Is My Friend's House?" The second film I discuss is Mohammad-Ali Talebi's 2000 film "Willow and Wind," which was written by Kiarostami. I discuss the similarities between the movies and how Kiarostami depicts children with great authenticity and warmth.
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Original artwork by Dhiyanah Hassan
In this episode, I discuss depression, suicide, and Abbas Kiarostami's 1997 film "Taste of Cherry."
Note: In the episode, I misspoke when, at one point, I say "Iranian new cinema." I meant to say "Iranian New Wave" cinema.
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Original artwork by Dhiyanah Hassan
In this episode, I talk about class and crime in Claude Chabrol's 1995 masterpiece, "La Cérémonie." Spoilers are discussed in this episode.
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Original artwork by Dhiyanah Hassan
In this episode, I discuss Christian Petzold's 2014 film, "Phoenix," which is about a woman who survives the Auschwitz death camp, undergoes facial reconstructive surgery, and tries to re-connect with her husband who is the reason she was imprisoned in the first place. This is a masterful film about trauma, survival, and how difficult, even excruciating it is, to rebuild oneself and one's life.
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Original artwork by Dhiyanah Hassan
Full show notes:
In this episode, I discuss trauma, the Holocaust, and Meryl Streep's astonishing performance in "Sophie's Choice."
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Original artwork by Dhiyanah Hassan
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In this episode, I share my thoughts, feelings, and emotions about Satyajit Ray's monumental Apu Trilogy, which consists of Pather Panchali (1955), Aparajito (1956), and Apur Sansar (1959). Note: This episode contains SPOILERS and goes into specific plot details in the trilogy .
Correction: I mention the Partition of India that happened in 1947. The Apu Trilogy is set well before that time. Apologies for the error.
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Original artwork by Dhiyanah Hassan
Full show notes:
In this episode, I talk about Satyajit Ray's 1955 masterpiece "Pather Panchali."
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Original artwork by Dhiyanah Hassan
In this episode, I discuss two films about Jean-Dominique Bauby, who was an editor at Elle Magazine in France and suffered a stroke in 1995 at the age of 43. The stroke plunged him into a rare condition known as locked-in syndrome. He wrote his memoir, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, by blinking his left eyelid.
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Original artwork by Dhiyanah Hassan
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In this episode, I talk about David Lean's dreamy 1955 film "Summertime."
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Original artwork by Dhiyanah Hassan
In this episode, I talk about Krzysztof Kieślowski's "The Double Life of Veronique," which is my favorite film. I discuss why I love the film so much and why Krzysztof Kieślowski is my favorite director. I do apologize if the volume is low. You might have to increase the volume on your speaker or headphones.
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Original artwork by Dhiyanah Hassan
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In this episode, I talk about Satyajit Ray's 1963 film "The Big City."
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Original artwork by Dhiyanah Hassan
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In this episode, I talk about João Dumans and Affonso Uchoa's 'Arábia,' a powerful and haunting film about a Brazilian laborer. Note: At the 41 minute mark, the audio does go silent. It comes back again around the 45 minute mark. It's a technical glitch that I have no control over. I'm not sure what happened.
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Original artwork by Dhiyanah Hassan
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In this episode, I discuss the magnificent film "Moonlight."
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Original artwork by Dhiyanah Hassan
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In this episode, I discuss the 1990 classic documentary 'Paris is Burning,' which documented the drag balls in New York City during the 1980s. I talk about critiques of the film and why the film matters.
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Original artwork by Dhiyanah Hassan
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The latest episode of the Her Head in Films podcast is about the 1996 cult classic, Big Night, which focuses on food and the bond between two brothers.
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Original artwork by Dhiyanah Hassan
In this podcast, I discuss the high school class that sparked my love for cinema. I also talk about losing my father and how film has been a source of comfort and solace in my life. The grief blog I mention in the episode is no longer active and has been set to private.
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Original artwork by Dhiyanah Hassan
In this episode, I talk about Krzysztof Kieślowski's 'Dekalog,' a masterpiece of Polish cinema.
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Original artwork by Dhiyanah Hassan
An introduction to the Her Head in Films podcast.
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Original artwork by Dhiyanah Hassan