Unrecommended: Recent Episodes
Samantha Tetrault and Isabelle Rodriguez
A bad book podcast where we read bad books and snark on them. Read along with us or just come for the tea spillage, the choice is yours.
In our third reading of Morning Glory Milking Farm by C. M. Nascosta, we get even more flirting action with our girl Violet. Though she knows she's crossed the line with her weird workplace flirtation, she has no intention of stopping anytime soon. She also bothers herself by stalking our love interest, learning TOO MUCH about his personal life.
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Welcome to our second reading of Morning Glory Milking Farm by C. M. Nascosta, in which we explore Part 2 of this beautiful monster novella. Though the world building of Nascosta's work is often unclear, we're mostly worried about the fading boundaries between Violet and one particular client. We also desperately need to know if he has hooves or hands.
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In our first reading of Morning Glory Milking Farm by C. M. Nascosta, we explore the genre of monster smut, seeing how we got from dinosaur hits to this beautiful collection of words. Our heroine Violet decides if she needs to take a job at a a milking farm, and you would do it to for a check!
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In our final reading of Lightlark by Alex Aster, Isla breaks the curse by having the entire plot explained to her in painstaking detail by her friend-but-not-her-friend Celeste. Now that she's broken the curse, she's actually super powerful and not like other girls. She also has ever man ever in the world obsessed with her and in love with her so slay.
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In this reading of chapters 41 - 50 of Lightlark by Alex Aster, Isla enters her Dark Girl Phase as she has a depressive episode over the consequences of her own actions. However, she snaps out of it after she is magically saved by a meaningful bird (and Oro). Guess what? He wasn't really betraying her and it turns out that was more nonsense.
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As we read chapters 31 - 40 of Lightlark by Alex Aster, our girl's secret is betrayed through no fault but her own. Honestly, who didn't see this coming? Though she's closer with Oro, she also trusts him with her secret that anyone with eyes already knew.
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As we read chapters 21 - 30 of Lightlark by Alex Aster, we learn of yet another way to solve the curse as well as the original riddle we should have known this entire time. Oro and Isla team up to look for "the heart" of the island, while clearly ripping off other well-known plot points.
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As we read chapters 11 - 20 of Lightlark by Alex Aster, we're still confused about much of the primary plot. Namely, what even is the curse, and how come there are so many ways to potentially break it? Aside from that, there's confusing "sneaky" activity from our heroine, Isla, as well as her "relationship" with Grim.
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We read Lightlark by Alex Aster chapters 3 - 10. In this reading, Isla gets closer to Grim, and more questions are answered—though not the most important ones. We discover that Isla isn't as gifted as she seems, though she is a talented closeup magician and carnival sideshow performer, so there's that. How will she get herself out of this?
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In our first reading of Lightlark by Alex Aster, we attempt to break down the drama and craze that was Alex's tiktok build up to this book. Though just released last week, the internet has already made up its mind about Lightlark and how it might not be all it was implied. As we read chapters 1-2, we come up with our own conclusions for the start of this book.
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Let's read chapters 42 to the end of S. J. Maas' Throne of Glass series. Celaena wins the competition despite all the odds being stacked against her, and she turns down Dorian to make way for her one true love: herself.
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Let's read chapters 32 to 42 S. J. Maas' Throne of Glass series. Celaena suddenly decides that her BFF is a murderer despite having no actual proof. Instead of facing the reality of the world around her, she doubles down on her nonsense.
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Let's read chapters 24 to 32 of S. J. Maas' Throne of Glass series. Celaena cheats at the competition, but this all okay for some reason. She also is visited by a mysterious ghost who is the only one to progress the plot.
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Let's read chapters 16 to 24 of S. J. Maas' Throne of Glass series. Celaena continues to be the best ever at the assassin competition, even though someone behind the scenes is putting in the real work. As usual, hard work goes unpaid and Celaena isn't invited to the super fun party with all the other contestants because she's not like other girls.
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Let's read chapters 11-16 of S. J. Maas' Throne of Glass series. After completing the presidential fitness test like every other 5th grader, our heroine has to actually try for once in her life. She bonds with her fellow trainees, though we're not quite sure why.
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After a brief break, we're back to S. J. Maas' Throne of Glass series. We discover the prince's proposal for our Assassin Queen. She lives, laughs, loves her way to the glass castle where she meets the king in a very anti-climactic event.
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In this final episode of Audrey Rivero's Love in the Time of Coronavirus, we learn that true love really can conquer all!! Just kidding I hate it here. We learn that COVID is over and you can just drop out of college to publish on your Medium page.
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God bless fanfiction and S. J. Maas' Throne of Glass series. We start the first book in this 7-part fantasy classic, and it's met with mixed reviews from our hosts. What we can all agree on is that this is quintessential mid-2000s fanfiction at its best.
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Audrey Rivero's Love in the Time of Coronavirus chapters 21 - 28 are truly a mess and a half. Not only are there 2 chapter 8's, but there are a lot of inconsistencies. After Fiona and Tucker engage in the act of congress, they face the rising BLM movement which reminds them that they're truly not meant to be.
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Audrey Rivero's Love in the Time of Coronavirus chapters 11 - 20 take us through Tucker and Fiona's hiking date which is as boring as it sounds. From there, they discover the true meaning of sexual tension while they argue as a group about the role of government funding and pulling yourself up by your bootstraps. It all wraps up nicely with a roll in the hay—literally.
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Audrey Rivero's. Love in the Time of Coronavirus just keeps getting better. As Fiona and Tucker adjust to life at home during COVID, they also lament how much this is hurting the budding economy of their town and grandma's shopping addiction. Meanwhile, their not-flirting leads somewhere.
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We're back with another hit from our favorite Audrey Rivero. This time, we're reading the since-deleted-from-the-internet Love in the Time of Coronavirus. In this disgrace of enemies-to-lovers, we meet Fiona and Tucker, two annoying freshmen in college who are sent home during the early days of COVID.
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We conclude our reading of Marked by PC and Kristin Cast with Zoey "defeating" Aphrodite once and for all. Now, as the high priestess of the Dark Daughters, she's extra-not-like-other-girls. Does any of the other plot matter? Apparently not.
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In our next reading of Marked by PC and Kristin Cast, Zoey once again tells us why drugs and alcohol are bad. Luckily, she knows everything about being Cherokee and a high priestess, and she's on a mission to take down Aphrodite. Where does Erik land in all this?
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In our final reading of Evermore Alyson Noel, Ever defeats Drina. Her and Damien live happily ever after after she overcomes her alcoholic addiction.
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In our next reading of Marked by PC and Kristin Cast, we're treated to a beautiful speech from Zoey about the importance of not drinking or doing drugs, not even being in the presence of the slightest smell of drugs. Meanwhile, she guzzles wine mixed with blood and it leads to crazy things.
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In our third reading of Marked by PC and Kristin Cast, we learn more about Zoey's new school House of Night. Her roommate and social group is very cliche, but what do you expect? After getting an invite to a prestigious on-campus sorority, we're left on a cliffhanger.
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In our second reading of Marked by PC and Kristin Cast, we learn more about Zoey's magical history as a Cherokee descendent. She's marked as special and not-like-other girls by the goddess Nyx before she's taken to the House of Night where she walks in on a very odd sexual encounter.
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We're finally reading Marked, the first book in the House of Night series by P.C. and Kristin Cast, a mother-daughter writing duo. This story follows Zoey as she gets marked as a vampyre (with a y) in school, losing all her friends and family in the process. Now, she has to move to the super-mysterious House of Night school in Tulsa, OK.
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In this episode, we review Evermore chapters 25 - 30 by Alyson Noel. After learning that Damen is an immoral, Ever spirals into an alcoholic binge for about a day. It doesn't go well for her, and Drina intervenes.
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In this episode, we review Evermore chapters 17 - 24 by Alyson Noel. Damen takes Ever on another super romantic day, this time to the race track. They win a lot of money and he buys her a tacky bracelet before shaking his weird medicine juice in her face. Unfortunately, Haven's tattoo didn't go according to plan but she's still really into it so there's that.
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In this episode, we review Evermore chapters 9 - 16 by Alyson Noel. Ever plans a super special Halloween party for her 4 guests, and she's surprised by Damen's costume which perfectly matches hers. Unfortunately, Haven's new friend causes unnecessary drama, but it's okay because Damen makes up for it with a mid-day trip to Disneyland. He's a Disney Adult now, if you didn't know.
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In this episode, we review Evermore chapters 3 - 8 by Alyson Noel. We explore more early-2000s lingo we all forgot about, as well as flashes from the early days of flip phones (yikes). Luckily, Ever shows off her super hot bod to Mr. exotic New Mexico himself, Damen. They're totally in love even though they've spoken twice. Swoon!!
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Welcome to our first reading of Evermore by Alyson Noel! This is the first book in The Immortals series, and it was first released in 2009. That's peak Twilight-era forbidden romance supernatural era! And boy does this book show it! Not only is it super cringe, but it honestly seems like satire at times. Thoughts?
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As our reading of Rebels: City of Indra: The Story of Lex and Livia by Kylie and Kendall Jenner comes to a close, we learn the history of Lex and Livia's parents. Though they seemingly die for no reason, they also have to make a quick decision about whether they'll lead a "revolution" and escape Indra.
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In our reading of Rebels: City of Indra: The Story of Lex and Livia by Kylie and Kendall Jenner, Lex and Livia are revealed to be sisters. Unfortunately, this also is when Lex discovered that she was the reject twin. Livia, yet again, has the best of both worlds and Lex is floundering with her newfound love interest.
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In our reading of Rebels: City of Indra: The Story of Lex and Livia by Kylie and Kendall Jenner, Lex and Livia finally meet. They roll around on the floor and have some wack tension that makes us all really uncomfortable. From there, they take off to find Kane and nothing else of importance actually happens but it sure does take forever.
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In our reading of Rebels: City of Indra: The Story of Lex and Livia by Kylie and Kendall Jenner, we finally arrive at the Emergence Ball! Meanwhile, Kane crosses the 4th wall and pulls a you're-not-like-other-girls on Livia and almost kills her. Super cute romance, right? Then, Lex teams with her bully to get to Livia to save Kane (we think).
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In our reading of Rebels: City of Indra: The Story of Lex and Livia by Kylie and Kendall Jenner, we get a tiny bit closer to the Emergence Ball, but not by much. It's truly dragging itself out. Kane and Lex have their first kiss, and Livia continues to waste time amidst her generational wealth.
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In our reading of Rebels: City of Indra: The Story of Lex and Livia by Kylie and Kendall Jenner, we're greeted with a very confusing timeline. As we go back in time, we discover how Livia became a debutante and how Lex made her way into the army (??) as a toddler?? From there, we're introduced to one love interest who is a weirdly alluring 12-year-old.
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In our reading of Rebels: City of Indra: The Story of Lex and Liviaby Kylie and Kendall Jenner, we quickly realize why celebrities shouldn't write YA dystopia. Though there's an attempt to be quirky and cool, it's mostly just confusing. We meet Livia, a rich heiress and orphan who most definitely isn't like other girls.
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We finish Verity by Colleen Hoover. In this reading, Lowen confronts Jeremy about what she's discovered about Verity. The two of them confront Verity herself, ending up in some very random acts of violence. Luckily, this doesn't prevent them from being together forever! Girlboss, gatekeep, murder, I guess!
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We read chapters 16 - 20 of Verity by Colleen Hoover. In this reading, Lowen starts to lose the few marbles she has less as she learns more about Verity. After discovering that Verity might have killed Harper, she has a few choice words to share with Verity, not to mention their shared tooth imprints on the headboard.
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We read chapters 9 - 15 of Verity by Colleen Hoover. In this reading, Lowen keeps enjoying her favorite book all about Jeremy and Verity's sex life. Though she learns more uncomfortable things about their relationship and children, Lowen is still weirdly attracted to Jeremy even though he has the personality of a used napkin.
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We read chapters 6 - 8 of Verity by Colleen Hoover. In this reading, Lowen continues to read about Verity and Jeremy, learning about their super thrilling love life and pregnancy experience. Things aren't going so great, but she's addicted to reading too much into the situation. Luckily, they go on a much-needed Target tampon run.
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We read chapters 3 - 5 of Verity by Colleen Hoover. In this reading, Lowen goes to Verity's house and explores her office — and her sex-bitten headboard. She discovers some questionable secrets about how Jeremy met Verity, as well as some information about their past. Creepy!
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We begin our reading of Verity by Colleen Hoover, our second Colleen Hoover book. We're excited to explore this horror/mystery from the Hooves, though we're skeptical it will live up to the hype. As we read the first two chapters, most of our questions stem from the availability of public restrooms in NYC.
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In this reading of Ice Planet Barbarians by Ruby Dixon, we finish the book. Everything wraps up with a perfect ending—Georgie is with child, Vektal is sexually satisfied, and everyone gets their own inner worm. We announce what we're reading next and confess our love for the Ice Planet Barbarians.
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In this reading of Ice Planet Barbarians by Ruby Dixon, we read part V. In this reading, Georgie learns more about this new ice planet with the help of a Duo Lingo spaceship. She also learns her lover's language, and visits his community cave thing. Most importantly, she learns that her lover plans to pawn off her human friends for the rest of his crew.
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In this reading of Ice Planet Barbarians by Ruby Dixon, we finish Part IV. In this reading, after her first alien sexual experience, Georgie and her lover make it to her friends at long last. They poke fun at her mating rituals, but she's still into it. Luckily, they stumble across a very important spaceship at the end—what might happen next?
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In this reading of Ice Planet Barbarians by Ruby Dixon, we cover Georgie's sexual exploration with Vektal. Though they can't communicate, she does teach him how to burn meat and fall into a crevice. More importantly, we learn just how ribbed Vektal's body is (for pleasure).
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In this episode, we read more of Ice Planet Barbariansby Ruby Dixon. In this reading, Georgie wakes to her lover pleasing her. She's not completely against it, but she does have SOME boundaries. Luckily, her barbarian is willing to hunt and gather for her, so things are overall going well on the not-Hoth ice planet.
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Welcome back as we read Ice Planet Barbarians by Ruby Dixon. This fun read recently went viral on TikTok for its hilarious plot line and outrageous smut scenes. We're reading the first two sections of this book, and we learn that Georgie is captured on an alien ice planet with some other fertile young women.
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Do you believe in fairies? In our last reading of A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas, it's time to finish Amarantha's trials. As expected, she fooled Feyre all along. She should have read the fine print! Luckily, she pulls through with the help of all the other fairies who clap to bring her back to life (a la tinker bell).
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Let's read chapters 33 - 40 of A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas. In this episode, Feyre takes part in the first two trials to save her life and the lives of Tamlin and Lucien. She makes a deal with Rhysand along the way, and she's got a super hip tattoo to show for it. Meanwhile, she battles the giant worm from Spongebob.
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Let's read chapters 25 - 32 of A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas. In this episode, we finally learn about Amarantha and Under the Mountain, and Alis conveniently explains Feyre's role within this random curse. How convenient!! Of course, she messed it all up with her inability to force out a single 'love you' to our boy Tamlin. Oops! Luckily she has a very legit, thought-out, structured plan for fixing it.
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Join us as we read chapters 17 - 24 of A Court of Thorns and Roses. Feyre becomes a part of the 1% wealthy elite, and she's finally adjusting. After comforting a random fae through their death, she goes on a lovely picnic with Tamlin and Lucien. There are too many picnics in the Spring Court, but it's okay because they also have a sensual cave.
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Join us as we read chapters 9 - 16 of A Court of Thorns and Roses. Feyre adjusts to her new life as a prisoner (aka living a luxurious life of wealth and comfort) by becoming BFFs with Lucien. He shows her how to hunt, and she confronts a lot of dementors—I mean "faeries." She learns that something sketchy is happening, but it's okay because it's led by a #Girlboss.
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Join us as we read chapters 3 - 8 of A Court of Thorns and Roses. Feyre is confronted by another wolf-type creature (named Tamlin) who is actually High Fae. He wants revenge after Feyre killed his BFF, so he decides to take her with him to the Faerie world where she'll spend the rest of her life in luxury—but of course she's mad about it.
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In our first reading of A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas, we read chapters 1-2. In these chapters, it's immediately clear just how much of ACOTAR is a bootleg Hunger Games. Feyre (weird pronunciation guide included) is introduced as the hunter-provider for her family who hates her. Though she kills a wolf faerie, she's not concerned that there will be any repercussions for her actions.
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In this final installment of Matchedby Allie Condie, we discover that Ky is being relocated to some random war that came out of no where. Don't worry, Cassia decided now is the time to follow him (??) so she convinced her family to send her to some farm. We're all confused, and we don't understand what's going on.
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In this reading of chapters 19 - 26 of Matched by Allie Condie, Cassia is presented with the prisoner's dilemma. Only it isn't much of a dilemma at all, especially considering she has yet to take any action or do literally anything. In this reading, Cassia does realize she's 'in love' with Ky (not Xander) once and for all, and she won't take no for an answer.
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In this reading of chapters 13 - 18 of Matched by Ally Condie, we learn that there's a lot of unexpected sexual tension in this book (but not with who you think). Xander makes an unexpected comeback, becoming the only active, interesting character, while Ky reveals his player ways. Cassia does nothing.
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In this episode, we read chapters 6-12 of Matched by Ally Condie. After a depressing goodbye to grand-pa-pa, Cassie realizes she might have feelings for Ky after all (based on nothing). They go hiking and bond over their love for Dylan Thomas. After that, Cassie and her dad get up to sketchy nonsense.
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In this reading of Matched by Ally Condie, we cover chapters 3-6. We learn that Cassia had a bonus match who isn't her super-hot friend Xander, and this plants seeds of doubt. She also snitches to her soon-to-be-deceased grandpa all about her hesitation, and it becomes clear he's Not Like Other Grandpas. Will Cassia become the Mockinjay-esque revolutionary nobody asked for??
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We're reading Matched by Ally Condie! This is a YA dystopian favorite from the peak 2010 dystopian days. Condie's story follows Cassie as she goes to her matched ceremony, learning that she's been paired with her childhood best friend Xander (lame). Honestly nothing happens.
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Welcome to the 6th and final November 9th in Colleen Hoover's November 9th. After discovering that Ben is responsible for her burns, Fallon decides to read his manuscript (aka his diary). Once she learns the "truth" that he's completely not at fault somehow, she runs (literally) back into his arms just in time to keep the November 9th momentum alive. Yikes.
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Welcome to the 5th November 9th in Colleen Hoover's November 9th. This is the big "twist" of the novel in which we learn Ben's very disturbing backstory. But it's just true love guys!! Don't twist it the wrong way! As Fallon learns the truth, she also continues to support the dying taxi industry with her getaway schemes.
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We've finally arrived at the 4th November 9th in Colleen Hoover's November 9th. In these chapters, we have more unnecessary drama as we learn Ben "moved on" (but not really) with his dead brother's wife. Fallon isn't having any of it, even though she's the reason he moved on in the first place.
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As we reach the third November 9th in November 9th by Colleen Hoover, it's Fallon's turn to be stood up by Ben. Instead of keeping her distance as he deals with a traumatic death in the family, Fallon decides this is the perfect time to lose her virginity. Everything goes south immediately to create the all-important conflict.
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Join us in recounting the second November 9th in November 9th by Colleen Hoover. In this reading, Fallon visits Los Angeles again after being away for an entire year seemingly doing nothing for an entire year in New York City. She immediately meets Ben's entire extended family, and things do go as planned because he's an Angsty Boy, obviously. The entire experience is cut short by her need to be at an early morning rehearsal, thank god.
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Today we're reading the remainder of the first November 9th in November 9th by Colleen Hoover. In this reading, Fallon invites a stranger into her home with her roommate where he continues to ask about her panties. Luckily, we learn what color undies she's actually wearing by the end of it!
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We're back reading November 9th by Colleen Hoover, a popular romance book about Fallon and Ben as they navigate her position as his muse. In this reading, we tackle the first 2 chapters and discover Fallon's accident, acting career, and meet cute with Ben, an aspiring writer. Thought they just met, they're already in a fake relationship led by his love of her "panties" and insecurities. Cute!!!
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Welcome to the last installment of our reading of You Gotta Want It. Not only do we know what "it" is, but we get to the finale. Jake lands his (short-lived) role on the Disney Channel show Bizardbark, and he starts his infamous Team 10. Though most of the bridges have been burned by now, this book does an okay job foreshadowing his future.
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We're still reading Jake Paul's You Gotta Want It. In this reading, we discover Jake's reputation changed in school. He's no longer the fun-loving, popular player who bullies on the side. He's got "hatters" because of the "fame" and "success." What does this mean for his future? It means his parents ship off a minor to LA.
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We're reading Jake Paul's You Gotta Want It. In this reading, we have a hard pivot from Jake's family life to his days as a lady's man and player (a kind player though, don't get it twisted!). Also, we learn about his bullying as he starts to get popular on Vine for the first time. What a riveting story!
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We're reading Jake Paul's You Gotta Want It. In this reading, we learn a shocking amount about who Jake is, his past, and his budding obsession with girls. Most importantly, we recognize that he probably needed earlier psychological intervention to handle his family dynamic. Okay now give us some pushups!!
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We're gathered together again to venture down a new path together: YouTube authors. Big yikes, we know, but we're reading Jake Paul's You Gotta Want It. What is "it?" Why do we want "it" so badly? We still don't know, but we do know that Jake loves a good peanut butter and jelly smoothie (ew).
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In our final reading of The Betrothed by Kiera Cass, we get to the final climax of the story. The wedding doesn't go as planned, there's seemingly endless murder, but it's okay because Hollis still has her new Mommy. What will happen next?
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In our reading of The Betrothed by Kiera Cass, we cover chapters 21 - 30 of this YA novel. Hollis quickly discovers that she doesn't want to get married to Jameson, so she peaces out of that castle and plays happily ever after with Mr. Doorknob himself, Silas. They have a shotgun wedding for no apparent reason, and it doesn't seem to be going according to plan.
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Welcome back! In our reading of chapters 11 - 20 of The Betrothed by Kiera Cass, we argue about whether or not the new random Lord from some random place is the "real" love interest? Is Kiera Cass taking us for a ride with door-knob-personality Silas, or are we not being bamboozled? Who knows!
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In this reading of The Betrothedby Kiera Cass, we read chapters 4 - 10. As Hollis grows closer to the king with the weird alcohol-themed name, she also has some serious (okay, not-so-serious) tension with the random blonde dude from another kingdom. Is this the drama we're all waiting for or just another tease?
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In this episode, we read chapters 1 - 3 of The Betrothed by Kierra Cass, author of the Selection series. This YA author starts this story off not-so-strong with Hollis and the kind (Jameson) hanging out and throwing berries on a barge/ship/sailboat/etc, and we quickly discover this is not going to be a great read.
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In this episode, we read chapters 41 - 49 of The Stars and Stripes Between Us by Audrey Rivero. At the end of this book, we learn that really we were all radio rebel and everything is somehow fine now. Who knew that keeping opinions to yourself could prevent so much conflict? Join us next time as we read The Betrothed by Kierra Cass.
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In this episode, we read chapters 32 - 40 of The Stars and Stripes Between Us by Audrey Rivero. In this reading, Marina tries to convert Nate and it doesn't go as planned. There is then a very strange hockey altercation between Ben and Tiffany, ending in someone getting punched. Everyone is pointing fingers and drawing lines.
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In this episode, we read chapters 21 - 31 of The Stars and Stripes Between Us by Audrey Rivero. Nate and Marina go on a ski trip where they—gasp—share a room much to the scandal of Marina. They have a very uncomfortable discussion about bisexuality, a theme that comes up too many times in this particular reading. Ultimately, they bang and it's not cute.
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In this episode, we read chapters 13 - 20 of The Stars and Stripes Between Us by Audrey Rivero. Nate introduces Marina to his parents for no real reason, and we learn that Marina is not not into Trump. Also, her family is toxic, just like Nate's friends.
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In this episode, we read chapters 7 - 12 of The Stars and Stripes Between Us by Audrey Rivero. Again, we're not sure why this is described as a "romantic comedy," but here we are. Though one of the main characters, Marina, seemed okay in the last readings, the tables truly have turned. She's proven to be drinking that sweet, sweet Kool-Aid, and we're not sure what Nate sees in her.
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Join us as we start reading The Stars and Stripes Between Us by Audrey Rivero. Described as a "romantic comedy," this is a love story about a liberal dude and a conservative (?) girl who find love in a hopeless place—college. We read the first 6 chapters and discover that this is actually a sports-book in disguise, and the author seems a bit confused about her political definitions.
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In our final reading of After We Collided by Anna Todd, we read chapters 100 - 123. At least, Hardin and Tessa come to an agreement that they're mature enough to be together forever, though that quickly falls apart with their poor communication skills. Hardin goes to jail, Zed is a bit (a lot) sketch, and Tessa's dad comes from literally thin air?
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In this reading of chapters 80 - 100 of After We Collidedby Anna Todd, we learn that Hardin is more than a little obsessed with Zed's boxers. Zed swoops in quick for Tessa, and they start their own mini-romance-but-not-really. Meanwhile, despite a bit of much-needed introspection, Tessa gives Hardin YET ANOTHER chance.
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In this reading of chapters 61 - 80 of After We Collidedby Anna Todd, we see just how talented both Harden and Tessa are at jumping to conclusions. Someone mention how they don't "kiss and tell?" Don't ask questions, just start ruining lives. React with extreme anger problems and the inability to control one's fists/emotions? Just make peace with this quirky personality trait.
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In our reading of chapters 41 - 60 of After We Collidedby Anna Todd, we learn even more about our beloved #Hessa. Not only is Harden The Worst times infinity, but he's also an actual trash bag. Tessa still gives him a run for his money when she decides she's actually a professional boxer at yet another party.
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In our reading of chapters 20 - 40 of After We Collidedby Anna Todd, we finally have our Tessa and Hardin reunite in what is likely the most stereotypical fanfiction display we've seen yet. What will Hardin get Tessa for Christmas? How many times will he beg her to get back with him? Most importantly, what did he do before Tessa?
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In our reading of chapters 6 - 20 of After We Collided by Anna Todd, we steal a scene straight from 50 Shades of Grey with a bathroom drunk phone call a la Anastasia Steele. Will Tessa and Hardin make it through this "rough patch" or are they doomed forever?
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We are back with our first reading of Anna Todd's After We Collided, a glorious to the One Direction fanfiction we all can't get enough of. Today, we reach chapters 1 - 5 to determine if Hardin and Tessa really stay broken up? Will they become #Hessa again and be together 5ever, or will their toxic relationship get in the way?
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In our final reading of Midnight Sunby Stephanie Meyer, we reach the conclusion of our story. Our final questions are answered—are vampires faster than planes...will Stephanie use the epilogue to share something new? Prepare for more disappointment. We also announce or next book and it's truly a winner!
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In this reading of chapters 18 - 23 of Midnight Sunby Stephanie Meyer, we see the return of Bella's infamous Khaki skirt. We've known this skirt would make its appearance sooner or later, and here we are back too soon with its alluring charm on our dear Edward. In other news, James is after Bella for no clear reason, and Victoria is over his BS.
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In our reading of chapters 12 - 17 of Midnight Sun, we finally reach the infamous meadow scene. As expected, Edward is a melodramatic baby and we love everything about it. He doesn't know that diamonds are a girl's best friend, but he's about to find out.
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Who doesn't love mushroom ravioli? Well, one of our hosts for one, but also Bella who is ambivalent to eating anything that isn't a bottle of coke. Anyway, here's our reading of chapters 8 - 12 of Midnight Sun by Stephanie Meyer. Edward grows his obsession with Bella and continues his definitely-not-creepy nighttime lurkings.
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In this week's episode, we're reading chapters 3 - 7 of Midnight Sun by the beloved Stephanie Meyer. First, we discuss some much-needed book gossip. Then, we get into Edward's sexual awakening as he discovers his love for the very average (but then suddenly not-so-average) Bella.
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We're finally here! It's our reading of chapters 1-2 of Midnight Sun by Stephanie Meyer. It's been a long time coming, and it's oh-so-worth-it for Edward's angsty POV. We quickly learn so much more about his passion for Bella's blood, but we also gain access to the other character's thoughts and feelings—even when they're not so cute.
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We finish our reading of Paper Princess by Erin Watt with this discussion of chapters 29 - 36. We finally arrive at the final twist and turn of the book, plus some confusing undertones related to Ella's best friend. What book will we read next?
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In this reading of Paper Princess by Erin Watt, we discover Reed and Ella's "truce" as well as their sexual tension (??) after she's drugged up into a state of induced horniness. From there, she delivers cold, cold revenge on Daniel.
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The first rule about fight club? Sneak out in your mini skirt to follow some creepy men into the dark! We read chapters 15 - 21 of Erin Watt's Paper Princess in today's episode of the Bad Book Podcast. Ella finds herself weirdly attracted to her totally-half-brother-not-brother-maybe and makes out with him to bring herself closer to her other brother? There's a lot of mental gymnastics.
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We're reading chapters 9 - 14 of Paper Princess by Erin Watt. In this reading, we learn that Ella is sexually attracted to her half-brother (yikes), and she's also still waiting for the "Royal Decree" about her social status.
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In this episode of the Bad Book Podcast, we read chapters 3 - 8 of Paper Princess by Erin Watt. We join Ella as she's kidnapped into the Royal family where she meets the "thugs" aka rich dudes who are now her "brothers." She also attends her first high school party (not at a 'public') with her new party headband.
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Join us in our first reading of Erin Watt's Paper Princess, a satire YA that's just as ridiculous as it sounds. We begin our story with Ella dancing on her new dad's lap, nothing weird about that at all.
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In today's final reading of The Graces by Laure Eve, we learn (shocking) that River really did murder Wolf. It's okay, she can magically bring him back even though she's definitely not a witch or anything crazy like that. Join us next week for chapters 1-2 of Paper Princes by Erin Watt.
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Join us as we read chapters 25 - 33 of The Graces by Laure Eve. In these chapters, River reveals she has a secret—though it's not very consistent. Turns out she's a lowkey murderer, but it's also confusing and inconsistent.
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Join us in reading The Graces by Laure Eve. We're covering chapters 18 - 25 in this reading, and all does not go well. We're met with River's magical explorations and a poorly communicated kiss (just kidding, it's a joke!!) with Fenrin.
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In this episode, we read chapters 11 - 17 of The Graces by Laure Eve. We find River at the Grace's house where she had a very awkward slumber party followed by a morning of not making eye contact. She also is the kind of creep that thinks it's socially acceptable to watch family arguments.
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Join us as we read chapters 4 - 10 of The Graces by Laure Eve. In these chapters, River Page finds her new name, googles some stuff, and is suddenly a witchcraft expert. She also does a love spell on her crush and it goes decently?? Sounds fake, I don't know.
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In this episode of Unrecommended: The Bad Book Podcast, we're reading The Graces by Laure Eve. We're immediately confused by the location and maturity level of the author (and the narrator without a name). In our reading of chapters 1-3, the narrator clomps her way through "awkwardness" and "her core's fire." We love it.
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In this episode of Unrecommended, we read chapters 86 - 86 of After by Anna Todd. In these chapters, Tess and Hardin finally get together, only for it to blow up in their faces immediately after signing a lease. The moral of the story is not to sign a rental agreement with people you just met.
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In this episode of Unrecommended, we read chapters 71 - 85 of After by Anna Todd. In these chapters, Tess and Hardin explore their passionate romance, her corner office, and this sketchy dude Jace. They also play more kissing games and Hardin gets in a fight. I love this!
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Join us for our reading of chapters 54 - 70 of After by Anna Todd. Today, Tessa breaks up with Hardin who isn't dating her, but he loves her. But he doesn't? Wow, I love this positive relationship.
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Who doesn't love a good old fashioned yogurt shop meltdown? Hardin certainly does. Join us for our reading of chapter 40 - 53 of After by Anna Todd. In this episode, Hardin confesses his feelings and Tessa breaks up with Noah for the second time. Will it last? Probably not.
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Thanks for joining us for our reading of chapters 27 - 40 of After by Anna Todd! In this episode, Tessa doesn't break up with her boyfriend even though she definitely should. She's also definitely not in love with Hardin who treats her like garbage. They are very much not together.
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Today, we read chapters 13 - 27 of After by Anna Todd. We again learn just how horrible Tessa's roommate and friends are, though she hasn't gotten the hint. The tension with Hardin also grows as she and him explore their nonexistent relationship.
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Tessa joins her new roommate for an exciting frat party. At it, she realizes that it's not a good idea to wander aimlessly through random rooms. In addition, Hardin is a frat bro which is the plot twist of the century. He's not the right type of bad boy. Let's read chapters 3 - 14 of After by Anna Todd.
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Join us as we read After by Anna Todd. This infamous One Direction fanfiction really makes college seem a bit insane — especially if you're Tessa and band posters and college packing lists are intimidating to you.
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Join us for our final reading of Fallen by Lauren Kate! In this exciting conclusion, nothing really happens. A few minor characters die for no reason, and more plot inconsistencies are introduced just for laughs. Also Luce and Daniel and In Love TM now so there's that.
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We read chapters 11 - 15 of Fallen by Lauren Kate to discover what's the deal with this love triangle after all. Who's the demon? Who's the angel? More importantly, why is the south all about cheese grits and moonshine?
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Join us for chapters 7 - 10 of Fallen by Lauren Kate. We learn basically nothing about Daniel and his angsty past, but we do learn that Luce loves passing notes and Paradise Lost by John Milton. Cute, right? In the meantime, please pray for Orlando Todd.
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Join us in reading Fallen by Lauren Kate. For this episode, we tackle chapters 3 - 6 to see how Luce adjusts to her new reform school/Ivy Leauge. She's already taken to stalking other students, so it's going well.
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Join us as we read Fallen by Lauren Kate! Starting with chapters 1-2 in this episode, we learn that Luce is at her new reform school and she's already the most popular girl ever. Go figure!
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We finish up our reading of Stephanie Meyer's New Moon with Edward Cullen's exposed body (ie. his finger). Him and Bella kiss and make up, and she's seemingly experienced no growth as a person since the beginning of the book. Wow, amazing.
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In our reading of chapters 14 - 18 of New Moon by Stephanie Meyer, we confront Bella's need to be the center of attention. As she flip-flops in her relationship with the minor Jacob Black, it's clear that she's even more toxic than we first thought. But she's off to Italy, so I guess her Spring Break was exciting after all.
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In our reading of chapters 10 - 13 of New Moon by Stephanie Meyer, we confront the stalking side of Bella. As she waits for her minor boyfriend-not-boyfriend, we realize she's in desperate need of therapy.
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For our reading of New Moon by Stephanie Meyer, we read chapters 6 - 9. We discover a hidden conspiracy with Sue Clearwater, as well as more disturbing information about Bella's mental state. If she wanted to be so risky, she should just hang out with Sue.
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We're back to read chapters 3 - 5. Here, Bella goes full depression when Edward ditches her in the woods. She also proves she's still the worst friend, daughter, and coworker...but nobody is surprised. Luckily, she has her minor friend Jacob to hang out with!
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Welcome back to Unrecommended! Today we're starting our reading of New Moon by Stephanie Meyer. We join Bella and Edward after their summer of loving, and it was actually the most fun anyone ever had ever in their life. Bella insists. We're reading chapters 1 - 2 so stay tuned for more Twilight madness.
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We're finishing up our reading of "A Shade of Vampire" by Bella Forrest. In these chapters, Derek learns more about why Sofia is so "special" as does her new psychologist. She eventually escapes the Shade while declaring her love for Derek -- happy endings for all?
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In our reading of chapters 19 - 25 of "A Shade of Vampire" by Bella Forest, we learn more about Derek's background. Basically, he was a farmer. That's it. He's also a passionate musician. His entire personality can be summed up as a cross between Chicago and the Godfather. Wow, amazing.
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In our fourth reading of A Shade of Vampire by Bella Forest, we cover chapters 12 - 18. Sofia is finally in the Shade with Derek. Of course, she tries to escape immediately. It doesn't go well, but she does enjoy high-quality vampire lip balm.
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As we read chapters 7 - 11 of A Shade of Vampire by Bella Forrest, Derek Novak finally wakes up. Sophia is instantly attracted to him because she's kind and likes to hold hands. He's instantly jealous of her hand-holding abilities and insists she only holds his hand indefinitely. Such a meet-cute.
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In our second reading of "A Shade of Vampire" by Bella Forrest, Sofia joins the Shade as Derek's harem. His family kindly made him a harem while he was sleeping. So nice of them, right??
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In our first episode of our reading of "A Shade of Vampire" by Bella Forrest, we meet Sofia and her best friend and possible brother Ben. Sophie's attempt to win him over as Sandals comes to a close when she's kidnapped by a sexy vampire.
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In the final installment of our reading of Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard, we see Cal and Mare escape after the most confusing twist in YA history. Amidst the plot holes and lack of world-building, we finally call this book a day.
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In this episode, we read chapters 21 - 25 of Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard. In this section, There's some confusing military action that somehow depends on Mare's love triangle? We're all confused. It doesn't work out. Are we surprised?
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In this episode, we read chapters 16 - 20 of Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard. In this section, there's a weird sexual tension triangle brewing between Mavon, Cal, and Mare. Yuck! They also discover that Maven is part of the Scarlet Guard -- gasp. How could this possibly go wrong?
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In this episode, we're reading The Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard chapters 11 - 15. In this reading, Mare flirts with both Maven and Cal (gasp), snarks on some Silver women, and rides on a confusing motorcycle to see her family. She also joins a rebel group like all the youth of today, so there's that.
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Our reading of chapters 9-10 of Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard. In this episode, Mare finally experiences an elevator for the first time, meets her fiance, and has an intimate encounter with the prince. We also fix the entire series in two seconds.
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Join us for chapters 7-8 of Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard. In this episode, we learn that Mare has weird Silver powers, but she's a Red -- gasp. She also gets to marry into royalty no strings attached? Sorta a sweet gig.
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Welcome to chapters 5 - 6 of Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard. After proving herself as the family disappointment, Mare decides to steal some more, stumbling into none other than the Prince himself! Good news though, she finally gets a job. It's about time.
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We're reading chapters 3-4 of Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard. In this section, Corn loses his job (gasp) and Mare acts drastically to "save" him from conscription, but it doesn't go well. Oops.
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We're tackling the first two chapters of Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard in this week's episode! See how Mare gets along in her shantytown and the deal with her "friend" Corn. Buckle in for this mess of a ride!
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In the final episode of our reading of The Selection, see what happens in the exciting rebel raid. Hint: not much. From there, we'll close out our love triangle with the prince and that other dude.
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In this episode, Aspen returns (unfortunately), and America also practices her kissing Technique with Maxon. She's a busy woman! We're officially almost done with our reading of The Selection, and we're covering chapters 18 - 22 in this segment.
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In today's episode, we learn that America is solidly lower middle class, but somehow also the savior of literally everyone. She goes on a second "date" (??) with her only-just-friends Maxon. We also learn about the nation's history -- or lack thereof.
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America finally meets the prince and endless flirting ensues. America is aggressively not like other girls though, get it straight. Luckily, she makes herself clear with a knee to the royal jewels.
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We join America yet again as she gets chosen for the selection (I'm surprised too). Aspen breaks up with her (boo hoo), and she's still definitely not pretty.
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For our fourth book, we're reading The Selection by Kiera Cass. This book had a lot of controversies when it was released in 2012, and we're diving into the first chapter in this episode. Read along with us!
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Finally, we're coming to the end of the Cursed Child. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child might be one of the worst bad books we've read -- and it's been a crazy ride. See how this book miraculously wraps up with our final episode of the series.
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Scorpius and Albus mess things up some more, and this time they learn Delphie is actually the worst (surprise). Luckily, we're coming to the end of Act 3!
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Scorpius travels back in time to learn that he's the Scorpion King, and he also is super popular and athletic. Beyond this, the world makes no sense, but when does it ever? Could it possibly get any worse?
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What happens when you're transported to the graveyard and you're also the spare? It's not good for Cedric Diggory, but Albus and Scorpius sure do mess it up as well. Whelp, they tried.
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Get out of my swamp! Today, we learn that there are Shrek references in the Cursed Child as we officially finish Act I. Boy, is this book a mess. Albus, Scorpius, and Delphi break into the Ministry of Magic to steal a time turner. I wish I was watching the Butterfly Effect.
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In this episode, we dive into Act 1 Part 1 scene 3 - 12 and basically, Albus is a failure? Scorpius almost makes up for it but not quite. Does anything about this make sense?
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We're onto our third book! We'll be reading the screenplay for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child by Jack Thorne, John Tiffany, and J.K. Rowling and boy is it unrecommended.
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NSFW - In this final episode of our 50 Shades series, we uncover Christian's passion for Britney Spears, some questionable feminine hygiene practices, and the exciting ending to the first book. Next, we're reading the Cursed Child!
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NSFW - There's a stalker on the loose and it's Christian Grey as he follows Ana to Georgia for no reason. We also talk about how this is definitely not like Twilight at all, not even a little bit. Okay, maybe it's a bit like Twilight?
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NSFW - Who knew Christian was so into improv? Also, if you ask, he's doing MIGHTY FINE all of the time. In this episode, we finally explore BDSM and it goes...as expected. There's a lot of crying and it's pretty messy, but we wouldn't have it any other way.
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NSFW, obviously. Welcome back to our fourth 50 Shades episode featuring the cringiest contracts ever. We join Ana as she navigates Christian Grey's Dom/Subcontract via her new "advanced technology" aka an email address. Seriously, how does an English major not have a computer or an email address? Somebody please tell me or put me out of my misery.
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This episode is very NSFW! We're finally to the infamous opening sex scenes of 50 Shades of Grey by E.L. Grey and we learn that Ana is very much in the.0001% of women when it comes to her sexual experience. Also, St. Ives must taste really good.
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Do you know what goes good with 5 glasses of champagne? According to Ana, a pitcher of Margaritas. Follow along with us as we continue through this trainwreck of a book by E. L. James together. It's not pretty! Keep your toothbrushes to yourself.
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Welcome back to Unrecommended! We've left the world of Twilight and started trekking into its fanfiction -- I mean, 50 Shades of Grey. This book by E. L. James is a masterpiece of epic proportions. Let's see what Bella -- I mean, Ana is up to now.
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Welcome to the final episode of our Twilight "review!" It's going to be sad to part with our favorite vampires, but we're moving on to bigger and badd books. Thanks so much for joining us on our journey through Twilight! See ya soon!
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Hey, Twilighters! Join us for another episode of Twilight mayhem in which the Cullens confront an enemy clan (Coven? Band? Squad?) who suddenly decides to kill Bella for reasons unknown? From there, we'll head to Pheonix for an exciting round of phone tag with James!
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Trigger warning: we'll be talking about infant death in this episode! Otherwise, we're up to our usual Twilight nonsense with some crazy milk and lasagna action as well as more appearances of #TeamMike. Also, Edward really wants you to know he's passionate about baseball, okay?!
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We're back with Twilight chapters 10 - 13 ft. the meadow scene and a lot of awkwardness. Bella continues her tyranny as the bully of Forks High, and she's super rude to all of her friends. She also declares her love for Edward, so there's that.
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It's time to dissect chapters 6 - 9 and this time it's all about being stalked and flirting with 15 year olds. #JustGirlyThings, right? Bella's getting into a lot of trouble but she isn't concerned because she's not like other girls.
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Welcome back, Twihards! We're reviewing Twilight chapters 2 - 5 in unnecessary detail today. It's cringey, it's weird, and it's sorta romantic? Either way, you'll want to listen. Oh, and there are spoilers ahead, obviously.
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Hey Twilighters (???), welcome to our first episode which is (obviously) on Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. We'll be discussing the first chapter in oh-so-much detail. Your biggest questions will be answered. Why is Bella so angsty? Why is she crying constantly? When is she gonna get with Rosalie? Read along or just listen to us rant. Oh, and there will be spoilers.
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Hey there! Welcome to the cringiest podcast on the internet. We're Sam and Isabelle, and we're spilling the tea on the most notorious books. Starting with Twilight, we'll decent further into the world of literary folly to uncover all the awkward and cringe moments that changed literary history. Oh, and there will be some spoilers, obviously.