wabsnazsm: Recent Episodes
Wabsnazsm
I’ve always been difficult to please. TV, Music and despite being a vegetarian, vegetables. It might come as little or no surprise to learn that I am incapable of making a podcast about the veggies that I don’t like. I scrapped the idea and went for the easy option of piecing together a show featuring the sort of music that I don’t like.
The great and the good get slashed to ribbons in this no holds barred show and my barely concealed ‘inner grump’ comes to the fore again with bile and snarls for the pop tunes of yesteryear. Whether you like it or not, here’s the show. Listen to it or avoid it, that does not matter. What does matter is that I have exorcised some more of my audio demons… Let’s get on with it, shall we?
It's a crazy World at the moment, isn't it? Filled with madness, fear and too many flavours of crisps. It can be bewildering, daunting and downright terrifying.
Don't fret because you have arrived at the Wabsnazsm Safe Space.
You can relax. Don't worry about that enduring sense of dread. That will still be there tomorrow morning but come with me now as we seek solace in 'the safe space.'
I recently visited one of those fine establishments known as a “Rage Room.” I was given half an hour and a selection of blunt instruments to smash the living hell out of some glass, plates, printers, tea pots, TVs, heaters and loads of other desirable objects. There were windscreens and I don’t know, so many other fine things to pulverise.
I pretty much rendered all of it into powdery dust and had a really cathartic and chaotic time. Safety gear was provided and when I was done with it, I was a mess of sweat, crispy bits of glass and a big steaming grin. It was brilliant. I recommend it fully for those times when just talking it over won’t get it sorted. This is action therapy. This is what the Doctor did not order. This is exactly what I needed…
I ache like an eighty year old Rodeo Cowboy but what an experience… Listen for as long as you can be bothered.
Desperate to get a little fresh air, I decided to venture into uncharted territory and to visit the Hastings Country Park. It seemed like a good idea at the time but, as per usual, things got a little messy.
Instead of tripping through the dew, I was dunked in mud and goo.
Join me on a fruitless search for the delights of the natural world.
Have you ever started out on a long walk and wished that you hadn't?
I never have...I'm like one of the Proclaimers, I am.
Here I am making short work of a long route march and taking you with me in my top pocket.
JOIN ME...
Imagine the most precious vinyl in your prized collection of records at the mercy of an errant and tone deaf child with a pair of scissors and an urge to hear those most treasured records played in the style of "Pinky and Perky."
This was the fate of my Mum's modest but beloved collection.
THIS IS MY APOLOGY....albeit very much too late.
Oh, does our host sound a little blue? Well, maybe a bit but then he's also showing fairly well on the "Chipper Chart" so don't worry about it.
This has got a varied bunch of words, notes and a small mystery noise.
Can you hear it? If you identify it, you might just win some cherries.
By the power invested in me, Wabsnazsm presents:
Mary, Mungo and Midge in "The Great Escape Plan!"
Starring in their first new episode since 1969, we follow an ordinary talking dog and flute playing mouse as they plot to escape the humdrum world of Mary's playroom....once and for all.
Early in December, 2023...we take an antediluvian amble along the back streets of Brighton into Hove.
Not long after this masterpiece of timewasting was finished, the heavens opened up and soaked me which put me into a delightful mood...
One day, it was decided that I should make an overnight trip to France and so, without sleep or any kind of foresight, I embarked on my adventure.
I arrived at 04:00 hrs in a France which was, by and large, still firmly asleep. Hear my desperate strolling right here and don't be tempted to try it by my triumphant tones.
(There is a much longer cut of this available. Click the link below for further enrichment.)
https://youtu.be/rDsOxOoSRto?si=iUTVWuvBts92EG4W
Oh, there you are! I've been waiting but I had my doubts that you'd turn up. This is Britain's least popular podcast and as such, we're in for a rough ride this time!
A bad tempered and grumpy podcast featuring... annoyance, refreshments and admonishments.
Dive in or sod off...
Another day, another walk on the mild side. We stroll at an exciting pace towards Hove whilst bravely tackling the elements. A man, a microphone and a screw top pot of sausages. Join me for a walk, especially if you are housebound. It'll be fun.
Light a votive candle for a dear fallen comrade. It finally happened and in such a manner as to be perfectly in keeping with the bizarre lifespan of your old friend.
Death is never quite the end and here we have an exemplar of the fact that whilst a memory lingers, a human may live on beyond the sparkle of dimly visible stars.
Oh, and always watch where you are treading.
I'm going to level with you, I've been a musical snob for way too long. Whatever nebulous aspect of cool that I was clinging to has blown away on a winter's roaring storm...
This podcast lifts the covers on my "other" musical tastes and leaves me open to public opprobrium and outrage but I no longer care.
Take a deep breath and sink into the musical mire...
Finally, I have succumbed to the dreaded Covid. I decided that, in my fevered state, I'd make an audio diary of proceedings. I had a grim time, as I am sure you can imagine. Anyway, come and get some heavy viral action...
WABSNAZSM VS COVID!
Every week or so, I get to stay in a tiny room with a massively loud cistern system and elderly neighbours chewing Werther's originals. This cannot and will not quell my propensity towards unpleasantly loud and amateurish music. This edition of the podcast is here to save me from going off of my nut and to further shift the waxy build up in your inner ear.
I ought to take this opportunity to say "Bollocks to the Tories and sod the Jubilee!"
Thank you.
Fearlessly determined to stroll around Brighton in the worst storms to hit the South Coat in decades, I decided to share my bold and possibly stupid endeavour with you, the listeners. Hear the chaotic roar of the elements as the wind attempts to lift me from the Earth and deposit me in the drink.
I don't know when the last official edition of Bod was made. Some time in the dim and distant past and that troubled me. What on Earth have the characters been up to since we last checked in on them? Did they follow their dreams, fall in love or merely stand around chucking fruit about? It's most probably the fruit, isn't it? Of course, it is. So, I decided to check in on our old chums from way back and to see what sort of new adventures they're having.
Friends, for the first time in many moons...here comes Bod.
Doing the laundry under pandemic conditions is not to be sneezed at... I decided to stay away from the viral vectors and go for a low impact wander.
Dogs die in hot cars, right? I can fully appreciate that as I recorded this confection in a Suzuki Wagon R with the windows closed. Even Prince Andrew would have perspired a little... Anyway, the tunes are as hot as the vehicle so get up from your comfy chair and dance like Michael Parkinson.
It's been almost a year and the nation's nerves are shredded. As ever, the Wabsnazsm podcast is here to plunge the needle of hope deep into your bicep. We don't know what we're doing and it's guaranteed to hurt but it's worth a shot, right? Whether it's Pfizer or Tizer, what have you got to lose?
The first Monday of the year 2021 and I'm cold, wet and on the move...
Nobody noticed the lanky tosser with the microphone and that allows us a unique view of a listless life of lockdown.
I have stupid hair and a dripping set of eyebrows. Listen for as long as you can stand it.
It's a horrible day out there. The rain, it raineth and the wind bloweth like a bastard so I sought temporary shelter and in doing so, I avoided an even greater soaking for about six minutes. One of my better plans.
Anyway, here's something that you might like...it's another bloody podcast.
As embarrassing as it might seem, we ALL use the toilet. Yes, even YOU! But somewhere out there, there's a secret army of people who clean up after your emergency trip to the bog and here is a brief account of a day in the life of one such person.
The date in question was 10th September, 2001. Everybody knows where they were when "9/11" happened but here's what became of me on "9/10".
On a gloriously windy and unpleasant morning, I decided to walk along the beach towards a crowd of "tough looking types." Let's enjoy the experience together, shall we? A catalogue of minor catastrophes ensued.
Welcome along to a dive into the deeply dirty world of Punk Rock... Open all of the windows and play this one loudly enough to get you evicted. It'll be worth it, I promise.
Ladies, Gentlemen and everyone else, it's the Wabsnazsm Podcast Punk Rock Extravaganza!
What with all the heave ho and what-not, why not spend a little time by the sea?
That's exactly what I did and here are the results of my wander towards the waves...
Having already walked for bloody MILES, I decided to sit in the car and observe the World from inside it's protective bubble.
Safe, secure and I imagine, looking slightly unusual, here's a glimpse at what's going on outside your isolation zone.
Walking the not so mean streets of Brighton whilst ensuring that I am socially distant.
Things are becoming eerie as fewer people are outside and more people take to the excellent notion of staying in their homes. This is my daily exercise walk and you are invited to follow along at a safe distance... I don't want your germs.
Under lock down measures and unable to venture out too far in these days of viral vigilance, we present an EMERGENCY PODCAST. Human nature is to find a way to cope and for me, it involves exercise in extremis...mainly in the corridors of the block of flats where I live.
Before we realised just how bad things would become, I took a walk through the streets of Brighton in search of some dinner and stuff...
My impending and subsequently cancelled holiday abroad was on my mind and the misty rain made my glasses into a drippy patina of peril.
A short episode in which we road test a popular fruit for the first time in five years. Will it be as delicious as people say it is or is it merely a chunk of bent yellow?
Let's find out, shall we?
(Ye Gods, are you really that bored?)
A fortnight into the future, a stupid error with orange skin unleashed Nuclear hell upon the face of the Earth. All was lost in the deadly man-made Sunrise... All, except for a small underground bunker in which one man, a microphone and a selection of unpopular tunes was hidden away from the flash of instant annihilation.
Having no time to waste, he set about entertaining the limbless and the blinded with his usual chirpy demeanour... Ladies, Gentlemen and mutants, we present the WABSNAZSM: AFTER THE BLAST CAST.
In a desperate attempt to make sense of the sounds within my head, I have flurried this podcast together with haste and hatred. It contains many of the tunes that befuddled, bedraggled and bifurcated my aching young brain during my childhood.
You may enjoy some of it, you will certainly hate parts of it but I never chose these tunes, they chose me.
May the sounds linger and drive you mad too.
Wandering along Hove Seafront. Suddenly, out of the blue.... (You'll just have to listen to find out what happened next.)
Everybody has tunes that they dislike! The thing is that they rarely, if ever, listen to them. I have decided that I am on a mission to re-visit the music that I hate and podcast the rotten stuff. This isn't a "guilty pleasures" style show. I genuinely dislike all of this stuff and if you are rattled by these tunes or think that I'm utterly off-beam, let me know and I will put together further examples of music that sucks my ghost out of my ears in glorious stereo.
Please....I give you, "The Wabsnazsm Most Hated Musical Podcast."
Thank you.
Another walk through town but this time, it's pouring with rain and I haven't got my glasses on. I can't see and that's ever so slightly awkward.