Life Matters Plus 1: Recent Episodes

Life Matters Plus 1

Discussions on stress, depression, and anxiety, and associated topics. Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/life-matters/support

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Things that Can Result in Anxiety & Depression if Left Unaddressed


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5 Things to Remember When You're Overthinking


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Checking in can help preserve your relationships.  Holding space for them is just as important too.


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Why do patients lie? 

  1. Embarrassed

  2. Admitting something means there is a consequence 

  3. Denial 

  4. Fear

  5. They want to please their therapist 


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Healing is not black and white and looks different person to person.  It is a process.  Where ever you are in the healing process KEEP GOING FORWARD!


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We have heard about love language but what about self-love language.  Self-love language is applying the five love languages to our relationship with ourselves.

Acts of Service

Receiving Gifts

Quality Time

Physical Touch

Words of Affirmation


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Compulsions can be physical or mental. Compulsions are anything that is done to immediately remove the anxiety, doubt, physical discomfort, or uncertainty that comes from obsessions.

The only way to break the obsessive-compulsive cycle is to practice uncertainty and discomfort.

When you have the urge to do a compulsion, you can thank it for trying to keep you safe, but let it know that's not necessary.  You're not in danger

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Knowing what to say is one of the hardest pats of supporting a suicidal friend.  While you may not be a trained healthcare professional, you can still provide support to your friends suffering from suicidal thoughts.  As always, encourage suicidal friends to seek professional support and make sure to look out for your own mental health during this period.

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Article: https://www.cnbc.com/2021/06/24/workers-are-quitting-their-jobs-to-prioritize-their-mental-health.html

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-How we handle mistakes

-How we deal w/ frustrations

-How we solve problems

-How we take care of ourselves

-How we apologize and repair

-How we ask for help

-How we speak up for ourselves and others

-How we navigate conflict

-How we care for the environment

-How we listen

We teach our kids best by modeling

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-Moves Too Fast

-Keep Secrets/Very Vague

-Puts You on a Pedestal

-Master Manipulator

-Too Clingy

-Contrasting Core Values

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-Worry Less About if They Like You

-Rejection is not as personal as it feels

-Stop choosing what isn’t choosing you

-Ask Yourself: Would you be friends w/ this person if you weren’t physically attracted to them?

-Stop being shocked by repeated behavior

-You don’t need to be perfect to be loved

-Your love life is one area of your life

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Ask Yourself…

-Is the way I use social media affecting my mental health negatively?

-Do I follow accounts that make me feel that I have to follow certain social schemes?

-Am I comparing my life/body/success w/ others?

-Am I seeing posts that make me unhappy?

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In life there are many things we can't control.  However, we can control how we respond. Here are some tips.

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  1. Catastrophizing

  2. All or Nothing Thinking

  3. Filtering

  4. Fortune Telling

  5. Emotional Reasoning

  6. Should Statements

  7. Personalization

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  1. Give a “big” reaction to something you consider “small”

  2. Dissociate and lose touch with their surroundings

  3. Present self-isolating behaviors

  4. Shutdown emotionally

  5. Avoid physical contact or express a desire to be left alone

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Triggers serve as messengers and protectors. They let you know where you may need to set a boundary or where you may need to continue to heal.  They are physical reminders from your body to keep you safe when confronted with extreme stress and reminders of trauma.  You are not broken if you have triggers.  Listen to your body and the message your triggers are telling you.  Give yourself the same love and compassion you give to others.

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Back with not only a mental health update but to acknowledge May being Mental Health Awareness month.  Mental health is one of the most stigmatized health issues that humans face across the world.  The only way to destigmatize anything is to talk about it.

This month is important so people feel heard and not alone and to spark important conversations.  So everyone can learn more about mental health.  People need to know about how to help in certain situations.

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Note this was recorded Tuesday, 4/13. In a short period more instances as ones shared in this video have rocked our nation.  This is me sharing my heart through transparency and vulnerability.  

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Now that it has been a year since the pandemic, many stories are being shared across platforms of the effects of Covid-19.  I recently read an article that I think summed up a lot of the effects of Covid-19.  This article can be found on the Pew Research Center site (www.pewresearch.org).  The article is entitled, “In Their Own Words, Americans Describe the Struggles and Silver Linings of the Covid-10.”  https://www.pewresearch.org/2021/03/05/in-their-own-words-americans-describe-the-struggles-and-silver-linings-of-the-covid-19-pandemic/

YouTube: https://youtu.be/CJRV5Mq_l0Q

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  1. Pick Your Positives

  2. Find Ways to Improve Your Negatives

  3. Praise Yourself for Your Positives

  4. Set Yourself Achievable Goals to Improve Your Negatives

  5. Once You Achieved Your Goals Aim Higher

  6. Challenge Yourself Daily

  7. Break Down Any Goals You Fail to Achieve

  8. Try again … and again … and never give up

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*There has been an increase in teen depression and suicide.  Partially due to the pandemic.  Here are 5 Things You Can Do When Your Teen is Depressed or a Teen you know is depressed.

  1. Talk to them,  but most importantly LISTEN to them

  2. Empathize w/ Them

  3. Give Them Resources to Use

  4. Monitor Their Symptoms

  5. Love Them No Matter What

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Let grace be your guide!

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Setting boundaries can be hard, but they are necessary.                               

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It is time we stop saying that because one is a child they will get over it.  When in fact they will not.  The abuse and/or neglect will have adverse effects on into their adulthood.

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Obsessive compulsive disorder is a mental health disorder where the person often face two main issues: obsessions and compulsions.

OCD is mainly an anxiety disorder, while OCPD is a personality disorder. Despite having similar symptoms, OCD and OCPD are distinct forms of mental illness that have unique and specific characteristics.

Types of OCD

CONTAMINATION

*Driven by underlying fear of germs

*Disinfecting/Sterilizing

*Excessive hand washing

PERFECTIONISM

*Driven by underlying need for things to be "right"

*Arranging things a certain way

*Superstition about the organization of objects

FORBIDDEN THOUGHTS

*Driven by unwanted/intrusive thoughts that are usually violent or sexual in nature

*Engaging in mental rituals to neutralize thoughts

*Avoidance of situations believed to be triggering

DOUBT AND HARM

*Driven by fear of unintentionally hurting someone

*Checking and rechecking locks, lights, stove, etc

*Reviewing the day to make sure no one was harmed

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website: www.lifemattersplus1.com

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Here are some signs to look for:

  1. Persistent nightmares and/or trouble sleeping.

  2. Grades don’t match strong efforts put in.

  3. Excessive worry.

  4. Showing issues eating, whether it be too much or little.

  5. Greatly concerned with the wellness of the caregiver.

  6. Form new fears or have incapacitating phobias.

  7. Overly concerned with issues beyond their years. (Bills, work, etc.)

  8. Refusing to sleep or go to school.

  9. Performance in school changes.

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Talking to Kids About Mental Health YouTube Link: https://youtu.be/4miBEtvz1QY

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Have you been in therapy yourself before?

Have you worked with individuals like me?

How will you know we are making progress?

Can I share if something is not working for me?

*Remember your therapist works for you.

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  1. You never know what someone else is going through because people often put on a brave face and overtime learn to hide their pain.

  2. Recovery and healing takes time, they shouldn’t be rushed.

  3. Self-care isn’t selfish but necessary to aid in recovery.

  4. You find out what makes you happy and sometimes who.

  5. You learn that many persons go through similar struggles.

  6. You realize that you must forgive yourself and others so that you do not become bitter.

  7. You learn to enjoy the little things in life and have greater appreciation.

  8. There is no need to cast judgment on others because people cope differently and respond to paint in a variety of ways.

  9. You become your true authentic self.

  10. You find out that you are stronger than you realize.

  11. You learn that your past doesn’t not define you and that you are worthy and deserving of more than what you previously accepted or allowed.

  12. You find out who your true friends are.

  13. It puts you on a path that you would never have taken or wanted to be on if it wasn’t for your personal struggle.

  14. You develop a deep appreciation for life.

  15. You understand that life goes on and it does not stop for your pain.

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Every day we have a choice in how we choose to think and how we choose to respond. So make the choice to respond out of responsibility and not obligation and see the difference it makes in your life.  Make the choice today to CHOOSE.

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There are many persons who struggle to get out of bed in the mornings (even those not depressed).  Persons with depression have a hard time accomplishing things that others consider easy because depression drains your energy leaving you fatigued and empty.

So, how do you simply get out of bed on those very hard days?

Here are a few tips that might help on those difficult days.

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Helpful Tips on Setting Social Media and Tech Boundaries 

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Of all the tips remember, be there. Just be there. Let them know you care.

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Website: www.lifemattersplus1.com

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A person who suffers from anxiety is not trying to be rude.  They are constantly fighting an internal battle that not everyone can understand.

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Here are some tips on how to respond in an appropriate and supportive way, when someone tells you they are struggling with their depression.

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Tune in to next week's follow on episode: Appropriate and Supportive Responses for Someone with Depression

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When we have negative experiences in life it is likely we develop protective behaviors to shield us from potential threats.  While protective behaviors can be good in a toxic environment, they can be self-sabotaging outside of it.  They can hold you back from amazing opportunities and positive outcomes.

Your needs, values and mental health matters.  Please take care of yourself.  You are so deserving of so much more than your mind is telling you.

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  1. Be happy for other people your time is coming

  2. Stop creating competitions that don’t exist

  3. Focus on things you can control

  4. Forgive yourself, often

  5. Finding peace is better than revenge

  6. Hold yourself accountable

  7. Remember what matters most

  8. You have nothing to prove let them be wrong

  9. Relax you will end up where you are supposed to be

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  1. Take time away from social media

  2. Start focusing on yourself

  3. Do things you love

  4. Put your phone on airplane mode

  5. Make a bucket list of what you want to do in life

  6. Do something you have never done before

  7. Escape to nature

  8. Distance yourself from anything or anyone that makes your mental health worse

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If we pay enough attention to the ones around us, we can sometimes tell if they’re not doing so well. The signs of depression are not always visible so it helps to be extremely kind to others as you can never tell the depth of a person’s pain by what you see on the outside.  A smile can in fact hide a world of pain.  Here are a few signs that might be of benefit to see if someone’s depression is setting in.

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The relationship between sleep and depression is complex.  Depression not only affects a person’s ability to sleep it also negatively impacts the way the body heals and repairs itself.

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The most important: IT WON’T ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS.  Depression lies, it tells you that you have always felt this way, and you always will.  You have not and you will not.

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  1. Important people come and go, and that’s okay.

  2. Your diet isn’t just what you eat.

  3. You have to let people down to be happy.

  4. Never let rejection lead to self-rejection.

  5. Own your responsibilities, own your future.

  6. Quality over Quantity

  7. Fairytales will make you unhappy.

  8. Fun is yours.

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If you or someone you love is struggling with depression or thinking about suicide get help now.  The Suicide Hotline is 1-800-273-8255 (TALK).

Remember YOU MATTER, YOUR LIFE MATTERS, Don't Let Your Story End!  If you would like to help me raise awareness about suicide prevention visit, www.lifemattersplus1.com, where you can purchase the latest suicide prevention t-shirt.

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Some people are just not good for our well being.  The word toxic is more than a description it’s the truth.  The wrong people are like a poison you inject in your body.  It spreads and affects every part of your life, your mind, your body, and your soul.  It is a poison that can kill you slowly and painfully.

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True self-care involves balancing two seemingly opposing ideals- radical self-compassion and accountability.  To fully take care of yourself is to understand that the nature of life is to shift.  When you give up being perfect, you allow yourself the grace to change, grow and start again as many times as you need.  Sometimes self-care looks like staying home, minding your business, telling people no, and doing you.

Self-care is more than manis, pedis, and massages.  It is also working on your habits, mindset, and healing your past.  It is removing toxic thoughts, people, and places in your life.  It is living intentionally, purposefully, and consciously.

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There will never be the perfect time to tell someone about your mental health struggles.  If you want to disclose your mental health struggles while you’re actively struggling, speak to the most trustworthy, supportive person in your life.  This person can help you speak to others and get help if you wish.  If you’re not actively struggling, the time to tell others about your mental health struggles can depend on when you’re doing well, when it serves a purpose, and/or when you’re ready.

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Therapy is not going to magically fix you.

The work you do in between therapy sessions is just as important as the work done in therapy.

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Previously discussed this topic but wanted to touch on this again and more in depth as I am hearing of more and more suicides and suicide attempts.  The more we normalize and talk about mental health the more we dead the stigma and have a chance at saving more people from suicide.

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On this podcast Cherise and Omar share their experience with mental health.  Mahalo for tuning in!

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In this podcast Misty shares her experience with mental health.  Mahalo for tuning in!

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Kevin shares his experience with mental health.  Mahalo for tuning in! 

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In this podcast Carina shares her experience as a sibling of someone who suffers from mental illness.

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In this podcast Ashley shares her experience and perspective as someone who works in the mental health field. 

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In this episode my mother is sharing her experience and perspective as a parent of someone who suffers from mental illness.  Mahalo for tuning in!

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We were created to LIVE not just survive!

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For most people, work can be challenging and demanding.  Meeting challenges can promote growth and increase resiliency for employess and organizations.  However, demands and challenges may also result in high stress, which can be costly.  Workplace stress can significantly impact the bottom line but it can be managed to improve productivity, employee health, and to create a more positive workplace climate and culture. 

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You can start making a difference in a young peron's mental health in 3 key ways: Take care. Talk often. Act early. 

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Being KIND to yourself, Be KIND to others, and change the world.

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Realize the power and peace you will acquire through forgiveness today!

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Invest a few moments to rework every negative thought today.

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Roll with it Get outside Check in with yourself reachout to a friend Listen to music Do an easy chore Check on your basic needs.

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Don't let the pressures of society affect your mental health. Whatever season God may have you in, in any aspect of your life, ROCK IT your best until He propels you into your new season.

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Experience the fullness of remaining grateful today.

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Some people with mental health conditions experience relief and hope when they get a diagnosis. Others may feel like a diagnosis is "just words." You may even feel several competing emotions at the same time—relief at having a name for the things bothering you, but fear and anger that you have an illness. You may feel that the diagnosis you received carries negative or damaging perceptions and may not want to accept it, but getting a diagnosis is a useful step in receiving effective treatment and improving your quality of life.

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If you have been diagnosed with a mental illness, know that it is not the end for you! It is only the beginning. Know that things DO get better! Put it in the work and the results will follow.

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  1. Communicate. Initiate group chats with friends and family to decrease loneliness. 2. Self Care. Perfect opportunity to indulge in self care. Do what brings you happiness and peace. 3. Acknowledge your emotions. Be aware of your emotions and do not ignore them. There is a lot going on in the world so let the emotions flow, good or bad. 4. Be productive. While your regular routine is being interrupted still find ways to be productive. 5. Laugh. Find humor in the day to day despite the seriousness of things going on around us. 6. Limit access to media. While it is good to be informed. Be mindful not to overload yourself with news that alters your mood. 7. Get fresh air as much as possible. Even if you are only able to stand/sit in your backyard. 8. Help others. Remember we are all in this together and the smallest gesture goes a long way.

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Don’t neglect your mental health.

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When life begins to overwhelm you, stop, and make the choice to do something for someone else and see how much better you feel. I challenge you to not be selfish but selfless and see the impact it has on your mental health.

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You must actively motivate yourself continuously throughout the year to maintain momentum. Continuously moving forward means finding pleasure and rewards in your tasks and even taking breaks occasionally. Doing this you may find that you achieve goals sooner than expected.

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Goal setting is much more than simply saying you wan to do something or make something happen. Unless you clearly define exactly what you want and understand why you want it in the first place, your offs of success are considerably reduced. By following these rules of goal setting you can set goals with confidence and enjoy the satisfaction that comes along with knowing you achieved what you set out to do.

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Let’s not forget our mental health in 2020.

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Often those who suffer from mental illness, suffer alone and in silence. This is largely due to sometimes not being able to explain what is going on them. It is not that they do not want to but they do not know how to or it is simply unexplainable. To those of you in the dark place of depression know that you are not alone and there is hope. 

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Hear from a breast cancer survivor and how she maintained her mental after diagnosis and during treatment.

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Suicide is not the answers. There is Hope. Life is worth living.

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Look at movement behind Life Matters

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It can be your power or your prison

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Educate yourself and then educate yourself about the individual to provide the best support

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A resource to cope with depression, anxiety, & stress.

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Not all pain is physical. Not all wounds are visible

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Minding the company you keep

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Take care of your mind, body, and soul

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If you feel like you’re struggling with your mental health, don’t be afraid to seek out professional help.

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Comparison negatively impacts mental health

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Life Matters Introduction

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