The Verywell Mind Podcast with Amy Morin: Recent Episodes
Amy Morin
Editor-in-chief of Verywell Mind, therapist, and international bestselling author Amy Morin shares actionable advice for developing the mental strength you need to reach your greatest potential. On Mondays, she interviews authors, experts, entrepreneurs, athletes, musicians, and other mentally strong people who explain the strategies they use to overcome the biggest battle we all face -- the battle within our own minds. Every Friday, she shares a quick exercise that will help you grow mentally stronger.
When living with certain mental health conditions like depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, or substance use disorder, a common symptom is anhedonia—the inability to experience pleasure from the things that used to bring you joy. In this episode, Dr. Judith Joseph aka "social media's favorite psychiatrist" talks about what anhedonia really looks like and how people experiencing it can ask for and get the help they need—and deserve.
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The Verywell Mind Podcast is produced by: Minaa B., LMSW - Host Kristen Altmeyer - GM/VP, Verywell Mind Ayana Underwood - Associate Editor, Verywell Mind Jeremiah McVay - Podcast Producer/Editor
We're excited to introduce Minaa B., who will be hosting a new season of the Verywell Mind podcast starting September 1st. This season, we will be focusing on the power of community and discussing topics such as friendships, navigating difficult relationships, and how to seek support for your mental health. Minaa B. is a licensed social worker, mental health educator, and author of Owning Our Struggles: A Path to Healing and Finding Community in a Broken World. She's also a community care expert who helps people build healthy relationships and form connections. Every Friday, she will be speaking with experts, wellness advocates, and individuals with lived experiences about community care and its impact on mental health. She'll also be answering listener questions to provide tools for building healthy connections. Be sure to tune in every Friday for a new episode. You can find us wherever you listen to podcasts or online at verywellmind.com/podcast.
Whether you want an extra hand moving furniture or you need professional help for depression, asking for help can be tough.It can feel scary too. We don’t want people to reject us, judge us, or feel more powerful than us. But the sooner we ask for help and make our needs known, the sooner we can get some relief.Fortunately, there are some things you can do to make asking for help feel a little less uncomfortable. With each successful request, you might build the courage to ask for help again. And with a little help from those around you, life often becomes much more manageable and enjoyable.
Since 1993, Maurice Benard has been playing Sonny Corinthos on the ABC soap opera General Hospital. Maurice has made his battle with bipolar disorder public. The writers at General Hospital have even made his on-screen character have bipolar so that he can depict what it’s like to live with bipolar disorder. Maurice’s book, Nothing General About It, reveals how he’s learned to live with bipolar and how he’s managing his symptoms. He also started a YouTube show called State of Mind, where he shares information on mental health. Some of the things he talks about today are what it was like to have a 'nervous breakdown,' how to recognize when you need medication for a mental health issue, and how to start recognizes the things that trigger mental health problems in your life.
Kevin Hart is a world famous comedian whose stand-up comedy tours sell out stages around the world. Time Magazine named him one of the 100 most influential people in the world in 2015. He’s also a New York Times bestselling author of several books. His latest book, an Audible Original called Monsters and How to Tame Them, discusses strategies for managing your inner critic. Some of the things he talks about today are why everyone struggles with the same inner monsters, how to use your inner critic to your advantage, and the one monster he struggles to tame.
Sometimes, practicing gratitude can feel a little bit like a chore. Writing thank you notes or telling your family what you’re thankful for over the dinner table might not conjure up true gratitude after a while. But, there are gratitude practices that can help you feel thankful every day. And that can have huge benefits for your health, your relationships, and your happiness level. One of the best ways to practice gratitude involves being thankful for the people in your life, rather than the things that you have. Here are five ways you can experience and express true gratitude in your life.
Andy Grammer is a singer, songwriter and record producer. He’s best known for his song, “Honey, I’m Good,” which peaked at number 9 on the Billboard Hot 100. His music is uplifting but he felt depressed during the pandemic. Now, he’s talking about how he went to therapy, what he learned, and why anyone can develop depression. Some of the things you'll hear on the show are how Andy recognized he was depressed, what he's learning in therapy, and how he's practicing self-acceptance.
There’s a lot of information out there about setting healthy boundaries. But sometimes it’s difficult to get to the first step–saying no. If you’re a people-pleaser or you have a fear of missing out, saying no is difficult. Whether your friends invite you to do something or your boss offers you a new opportunity, it can be hard to find the right words to turn something down. It’s especially uncomfortable to say no to help. But if a colleague offers to help you with something and you’re afraid they’ll slow you down, you might just need to say no to that too. Every time you say yes to something that isn’t in line with your goals or isn’t something you want to do, you ultimately say no to something else. But how do you say, “No thank you,” and then stick to that answer when people try to pressure you to change your mind? Here are 10 phrases that will help you say no and some strategies that can help you stick to your answer.
John Oates is a member of the best-selling duo of all time Hall & Oates. He’s also an accomplished solo artist who has been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and The American Songwriters Hall of Fame. In 2017, his autobiography, Change of Seasons, became a bestseller. In it, he shares his journey with managing his mental health as a famous musician and the steps he took to stay grounded. Now, he's growing back his famous mustache for Movember to spread awareness for mental health. Some of the things he discusses are how he reinvented himself, what he learned in therapy, and how he's managing his mental health.
Sometimes, we inadvertently increase the chances that our biggest fears might come true. That’s not to say it’s your fault if something bad happened to you. Bad things happen to us through no fault of our own much of the time. But there are times when our fear of something causes us to react in a way that actually increases the chances that our fear might come true. From dating the exact type of person you said you wanted to avoid to getting into the financial mess that you swore you’d never get into, there are plenty of other ways in which our efforts sometimes backfire. Here are the four reasons we sometimes accidentally make our biggest fears come true, how to recognize when you’re doing it, and what to do about it.
Taye Diggs is an actor who has appeared on Broadway, in several TV shows, and in many movies. He’s best known for his roles in Rent, the TV series Private Practice, and the movies How Stella Got Her Groove Back, Brown Sugar, and Malibu’s Most Wanted. Currently, he stars in All American and he's going to host a new reality dating show called Back in the Groove. Taye struggled with insomnia for 13 years. He tried to ignore it and told himself that what he was experiencing was normal. But a certain incident made him realize he needed to get help. Some of the things he talks about today are how to find the courage to get help for whatever problem you might have, how to overcome the stigma associated with taking medication, and how to overcome the discomfort of asking for help.
If you set an aggressive but realistic goal that you want to achieve and a tight deadline, there’s no time to procrastinate. And you might realize how much every single day counts as you have limited time to reach your goal. I have found 30-day challenges to be really helpful in my life. Sometimes, they motivate me to create change. At other times, they provide me with information. I treat them as a behavioral experiment that I test for 30 days. When they’re over, I can decide if I want to continue with the changes I made. Many of my therapy clients have enjoyed 30-day challenges as well. Whether they want to change their eating habits or they work on clearing clutter, most of them have said they accomplished more than they imagined possible in just one month.
Dr. Yeager is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Much of his work focuses on facilitating the advancement of meaningful dialogue surrounding the subject of race and racism. He also serves as the therapist for the Detroit Pistons professional NBA basketball team. He’s the author of a new book called How Am I Doing: 40 Conversations to Have With Yourself. In it, he describes questions we can all ask ourselves to increase self-awareness. Some of the things he discusses in today's episode are the specific questions we can ask ourselves to increase our self-awareness, the tools that can help us improve our mental health, and how we can begin to identify specific patterns in our lives.
There’s more than one way to tackle the same problem — especially when it comes to mental health problems. Some therapists focus on problems and all the things that contribute to emotional pain and suffering. Their goal is to help people gain insight into their problems so they can create positive changes. Solution-focused therapists focus on solutions only. These therapists don’t explore old childhood wounds, and they don’t talk about past mistakes. They keep the conversation about the 'here and now' and the steps someone can take when moving forward. That’s why a lot of them ask "the miracle question." It’s a question that helps people start imagining a more positive future. And when people imagine a positive future, they often start taking helpful action. Just talking about a positive future can remind people of their inner strength and the resources they can use to make their lives better. You don’t have to go see a solution-focused therapist to start thinking about a more positive future for yourself. You can answer "the miracle question" for yourself right now.
Ryan Holiday is a #1 New York Times Best-Selling author and media strategist. He’s written more than a dozen books, including Ego Is the Enemy, The Daily Stoic, The Obstacle Is the Way, and Stillness Is the Key. He’s also the host of a popular podcast called The Daily Stoic. His newest book, Discipline Is Destiny, is part of a series he’s written on The Stoic Virtues. Some of the things he talks about today are why a lack of discipline leads to unhappiness, the areas of your life where you can start developing more discipline, and the biggest misconceptions about living a disciplined life.
We all make poor decisions sometimes. But we often blame those bad decisions on not having enough information. And while that may be a factor, there’s another factor that often comes into play–we aren’t balancing our emotions with logic. Emotions should play a role in our decisions. But, if they play too big of a role, we’ll make poor choices. Logic should also play a role in decision making. But if we base our choices on logic alone, we’ll also make mistakes. We make our best decisions when we balance logic with emotion. That can be tough to do though. Fortunately, this is a skill that everyone can learn. And as we sharpen our skills, we get better at making wise decisions.
Kelsey Crowe, Ph.D. heads Empathy Bootcamp, a company that trains people to be more empathetic. She's also the author of There Is No Good Card for This. She's an expert in helping people find the best words to say to someone going through a tough time. Some of the things she talks about today are why it's so difficult for us to know what to say to someone who is in pain, the one phrase you can use in almost any situation, and the things you can do for someone who is going through a hard time. Whether someone you know has lost a loved one or they've been diagnosed with a serious illness, Kelsey will help you find the best words to say to them.
We all imagine catastrophic things happening sometimes. Maybe whenever a loved one doesn’t reply to a text message, right you automatically think something terrible has happened to them. Or perhaps every time your boss asks you to meet, you assume that you’re about to get fired. Not only do catastrophic thoughts overestimate how bad things are going to be, they also underestimate our ability to cope if something bad does happen. You might tell yourself that you’d be completely destroyed if you got laid off or that you’d never recover if your love interest broke up with you. Catastrophic thoughts cause us to feel awful. And they can keep us from taking productive action if you let them. While you can’t stop them from happening, you can choose how you respond to them. It’s a common issue we address in the therapy office — skills for managing catastrophic thoughts. Here's my favorite strategy for dealing with them.
Nick Viall is best known for his role on The Bachelor TV series. He starred in The Bachelorette for two seasons before starring as "The Bachelor." He also appeared on Bachelor in Paradise. He has since started a podcast called The Viall Files where he talks about relationships, and he wrote a book called Don’t Text Your Ex Happy Birthday: and Other Advice on Love, Sex, and Dating. Some of the things he talks about today are the difference between expectations and boundaries, how your ego can interfere with your ability to have healthy relationships, and why it's our natural tendency to choose pain over boredom.
We all act tough sometimes. There are times when acting tough can serve a purpose. There will be times when you need to set your feelings aside and push through something difficult. It’s OK to acknowledge that you feel uncomfortable, to ask for help, and to be vulnerable with other people. In fact, it often takes more strength to acknowledge your feelings or to admit to your mistakes. It can be helpful to stop and ask yourself, “Is what I’m doing right now an example of being strong, or am I just acting tough?” Once you recognize the difference, you can choose to start doing the things that help you grow mentally stronger.
Dr. Mark Goulston is a psychiatrist, best-selling author, and executive coach. He spent many years of his career working with patients who were experiencing thoughts of suicide. He learned that one of the best things he could do for people who were in pain was to sit and listen to them. Some of the things he talks about today are the truth about why people experience suicidal thoughts (it's not always depression), how to talk to a loved one if you're concerned about them, and what you can do if you are experiencing thoughts of suicide.
We're celebrating our 200th episode by sharing the top mental strength lessons we've learned so far on the podcast. I discuss some of my favorite lessons I've learned from guests like Matthew McConaughey, Nikki Sixx, and Chrissy Metz. I also share the mental strength exercises that our listeners talk about the most from the Friday Fix episodes!
Ethan Suplee is an actor who is known for his roles on TV shows like Boy Meets World and My Name Is Earl as well as movies like American History X, Blow, The Wolf of Wallstreet, John Q, and Remember the Titans. In many of his acting roles, Ethan was morbidly obese. But food wasn’t his only addiction. He struggled with addiction to drugs and alcohol as well. After being told that he was going to die due to the severity of his health issues stemming from his weight and addiction, Ethan decided to try and get healthier. He went to rehab, lost hundreds of pounds, and took control of his health. Some of the things he talks about are how he stopped engaging in self-destructive behavior, how he continues to combat self-hatred, and the steps he's taking to improve his life one step at a time.
There are many ways to treat depression — medication, individual therapy, group therapy, and transcranial magnetic stimulation to name a few. But there are also lifestyle changes that can sometimes provide effective relief from symptoms. Something as simple as growing a garden can sometimes be an effective way to improve mood and reduce stress. In fact, horticulture therapy has become an entire field of treatment for individuals who want to improve their well-being. From working in community gardens to growing plants at home — being in nature, getting physical activity, and working toward a goal are good for mental health. But there's something about caring for a plant, even if it's an indoor plant that provides extra benefits to our emotional well-being.
Cobie Smulders is an actress who is known for her role as Robin Scherbatsky in the sitcom How I Met Your Mother. She’s also starred in many movies, including her role as agent Maria Hill in Marvel movies. She also knows a thing or two about resilience. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at age 25. She underwent multiple surgeries while starring in How I Met Your Mother and did not make her diagnosis public until several years later. Now, she's teamed up with Colgate because she wants kids to learn skills that can help them be resilient. She's concerned about the mental health health of young people following the pandemic, and she's launched a campaign to ensure young people are learning the skills they need to thrive during uncertain times. Some of the things she talks about today are why hope is such an important part of resilience, how nature improves her mental health, and why she apologizes to her kids (even though her parents never apologized to her).
Maybe you’re having dinner with a friend and all you can think about is your to-do list. Or perhaps it takes 30 minutes to send an email because you keep questioning how to word each sentence. There are several reasons why our brains feel cluttered sometimes. Depression can cause us to ruminate on the past. Anxiety can cause you to worry about the future. Traumatic experiences can cause you to always be on the lookout for danger. But a diagnosable mental health condition isn’t always the culprit. Having a stressful life or a busy day can also lead to repetitive and unhelpful thoughts. Regardless of the reason, it’s tough to feel mentally strong when your brain is filled with thoughts that aren’t helpful.
Lauren Swanson is a board-certified physician assistant who prescribes Ketamine through a telehealth company. She says she has seen it make huge differences in the lives of people who are battling anxiety, depression, PTSD, and substance use disorders. Some of the things she talks about today are the science behind how Ketamine works, the benefits Ketamine can offer, and what someone can expect when they begin Ketamine treatment.
One person’s hallmark of mental strength might involve taking a little more time off to relax. Another person’s evidence of bigger mental muscles might involve pushing themselves to do more even though they don’t feel like it. Our behavior doesn’t always reveal the battle we’re fighting inside our own minds. So it’s important to remember that your actions are only part of the process. Mental strength also involves the way you think and the way you feel. Fortunately, there is a strategy that can help you discover whether you’re growing mentally stronger, even if your behavior doesn’t change right away. This one question can help you measure your mental strength every day.
Ricky Byrd is a rock and roll guitar player, singer, songwriter, and music producer. For more than a decade, he was a member of Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, where he contributed background vocals and music to many albums, including two platinum albums and one gold album. His most famous song might be “I Love Rock 'n Roll,” which was released in 1981. For many years, Ricky lived what might be the “typical” musician lifestyle. He drank, used drugs, and partied hard as he toured around the world alongside other famous musicians like Paul McCartney, Alice Cooper, Bruce Springsteen, and Stevie Wonder. But Ricky made a decision to get sober over 30 years ago. Since then, he’s created a lot of new music that focuses on recovery and hope. He often performs at benefit shows to raise money for drug and alcohol treatment facilities. He’s become a certified recovery coach and drug and alcohol counselor. He frequently leads recovery music groups at treatment facilities around the United States. Some of the things he talks about are how his denial and desire to punish himself kept his substance abuse going, the one thing that inspired him to get help, and how he now helps other people who are struggling with addiction.
You may find yourself thinking you need more mental strength so you can go to the gym. But what if the opposite were true? You need to go to the gym to build mental strength. Most people focus on the physical muscle they build from exercise. But physical activity is also a great way to build mental muscle. Fortunately, you don’t necessarily need a gym membership to bolster your mental strength. There are plenty of physical activities you can do from home or outside to build mental strength. You also don’t need to do torturous workouts that prove you can stand pain (a common myth about mental strength training). Sometimes, a few simple physical activities might be enough to help you feel better, think clearer, and gain motivation.
Ronald Siegel, PsyD, is Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School where he’s taught since the early 1980s. He’s a longtime student of mindfulness meditation, and he has taught internationally about the importance of mindfulness and mind-body treatment. He maintains a private psychotherapy practice in Lincoln, MA. Some of the things he talks about in this episode are why we equate happiness with achievement (even though success doesn't make us happy), the exercise that will help you discover what really matters to you in life, and how to conquer the fear of not being good enough.
While you can’t control how other people behave, you can control how you respond to them. If you’ve allowed someone to treat you poorly and you didn’t address their behavior, it’s important to consider why. It may have to do with the other person–like you fear what would happen if you spoke up. Or, it may have more to do with you–like you fear what would happen to you if the other person stopped being in your life. Once you understand why you allow mistreatment to happen, you can take helpful action. In this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast, I explain the top seven reasons why you might allow someone to mistreat you. I also share how you can take steps to move forward in a healthy way if someone treats you poorly.
Boundaries involve setting rules that make it clear how you want to be treated. Sometimes, this means saying something like, “No, I won’t loan you my car.” Other boundaries involve telling someone what you expect like, “I expect you to call before showing up at my house.” It’s important to announce your boundaries to other people. You might say, “Please don’t ask about my health issues in front of other people.” At times, however, it’s best to show what your boundaries are with your behavior. If you’re at a dinner party where people start drinking heavily and you’re uncomfortable, you might find it’s best to leave without offering an explanation about why. Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable at first if you aren’t used to setting them. But establishing clear boundaries shows you have respect for yourself, and it can be the key to establishing healthy relationships with other people. There are a lot of misconceptions about boundaries. These misconceptions often spread quickly on social media and cause many people to misunderstand how to set boundaries in a healthy way.
Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist and a New York Times bestselling author. Her books, including Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, have been translated into 20 languages. She’s also a contributor to The Atlantic where she writes a regular column called “Dear Therapist.” She co-hosts a podcast with Guy Winch, called Dear Therapists, where they respond to listeners’ problems and walk them through therapy sessions with actionable advice. In her book, Lori talked about a mysterious illness she has. She struggled to get a diagnosis and treatment. So now she's talking about chronic illness and the impact it can have on well-being. She some shares actionable strategies for managing an illness and supporting someone else who has one.
A lot of people enter my therapy office not because they’re looking to change themselves but because they want to change someone else. I commonly get questions like, “Can you talk to my partner about their drinking for me?” or “Can you meet with my daughter to tell her that she needs to stop dating men with so many problems? It’s not good for her kids to see that.” While you can’t force someone else to change their behavior, you can influence them. In fact, the closer your relationship is to someone else, the more likely you are to have an influence on the choices you make.
Jazmyn Simon is an actress who is best-known for her roles in Ballers, Raising Dion, and Locked Down. She’s also an author. She wrote a children’s book called Most Perfect You, which is a letter to children who are struggling to accept themselves. It was inspired by a conversation Jazmyn had with her daughter when she was young. Some of the things she talks about today are why we should talk to kids about their appearance, how to help kids feel better about themselves, and how to get kids to open up and tell you what's really going on.
When life has thrown you some serious curveballs or your mental health is declining, it’s tough to see the positive things going on around you. But noticing the bad, however, is easy. You might find your brain automatically focuses on the worst thing that happened or it might constantly predict negative outcomes. Those kinds of thoughts affect how you feel and how you behave. If you aren’t careful, your thoughts can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to look for the good in life with practicing toxic positivity.
Nathan Kress is an actor who is best known for playing Freddie Benson on the Nickelodeon sitcom iCarly, which aired between 2007 and 2012. In 2021, he reprised his role in the iCarly revival. He’s also the co-host of a podcast called RadioActive Dads. He and his co-host, fellow actor Brett Davern, talk about their experiences raising kids. Nathan is also a caregiver. His wife has endometriosis and at times, her symptoms are debilitating. Some of the things he talks about on today's episode are how he and his wife dealt with grief following five miscarriages, how he takes care of himself, and his mental health tips for other caregivers.
Have you ever felt so emotionally exhausted that you felt like you have nothing else to give? If so, you’re not alone. There are a lot of people feeling emotionally exhausted right now and there are a lot of reasons why–the pandemic, rising gas prices, economic uncertainty, and ongoing media reports about bad things happening in the world. When you feel emotionally exhausted, the typical self-care tips aren’t likely to work. Taking a bubble bath or getting some exercise might take the edge off for a minute but those self-care tips won’t relieve your exhaustion long-term. Fortunately, there are some more effective things that you can do to charge your batteries and relieve your emotional exhaustion. On this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast, I share the symptoms of emotional exhaustion and the best thing you can do to address it.
Grace Gaustad is a singer and songwriter who rose to fame at the age 15 when her performance of “Take Me to Church” went viral. She released her debut album, BlKBX, in 2021. In it, she addresses her experiences growing up as part of the LGBTQ+ community and the bullying she endured in school. She’s released several singles in 2022. Grace was bullied throughout her childhood and she often felt alone in her struggles. Now, she's using her platform to help other people who feel alone. As someone who has battled depression and anxiety, she's sharing how she's staying mentally strong.
When we’re faced with a crisis, our bodies and our minds gear up to tackle the challenge. Then, when the crisis is resolved, we go back into our normal state of being. Our bodies weren’t meant to stay in a heightened state of alert over a long period of time. So when a crisis doesn’t end fast enough, we grow weary and get what’s known as crisis fatigue. If you’ve developed crisis fatigue, you’re not alone. It’s important to note that crisis fatigue doesn’t mean you’re insensitive, you lack mental strength or you’ve done anything wrong. It just means your body and your mind are having trouble coping with a prolonged state of distress–which is normal.
Steve Magness is a world-renowned expert on human performance. He’s worked as a consultant on mental skills development for professional sports teams, including some of the top NBA teams.
He co-authored the books Peak Performance and The Passion Paradox with our former guest Brad Stulberg. He also wrote The Science of Running and now he has a new book called Do Hard Things.
Some of the things he shares today are why our brains work so hard to keep us inside our comfort zones, how to change your inner dialogue, and what happens when we push ourselves to do hard things.
If you are stressed at work, you might think the solution is to build more mental strength so you can handle workplace issues better. If you’re struggling with anxiety, you might assume you need to meditate more often.
But sometimes, the solution to our problems isn’t about working on our inner strength. Instead, the best way to tackle some problems involves making a few changes to the environment.
There are some simple changes you can make to the environment to help you build mental strength and to preserve what strength you already have.
You only have so much mental energy. The last thing you want to do is put yourself in a position where all your energy is wasted combating an unhealthy environment. Here's how to create an environment that will help you be the strongest and best version of yourself.
Dr. Myron Rolle is a former NFL player turned neurosurgeon. He’s also the author of a new book called The 2% Way. In it, he describes how striving to become two percent each day helped him achieve his goals on the athletic field, in college, and in life.
Some of the things he talks about today are how to stay motivated when you're tackling a tough challenge, how to break a big goal into smaller action steps, and how the 2% way can help you reach your greatest potential.
Hope keeps us going through tough times. But we’ve all had times when we’ve felt utterly hopeless. It’s so hard to push through when you don’t have any hope that things will get better.
Maybe you have a health issue that causes you to feel utterly hopeless about the future. You might be convinced that no matter what you do or what medication you try, you’re never going to feel better.
Or, you might feel hopeless about your financial situation. Looking at your mounting debt may cause you to think that there’s no way you’re ever going to dig yourself out.
Mental health issues can also cause hopelessness. One of the main symptoms of depression involves a lack of hope. And not having any hope can worsen your mental health. It’s a two-way street.
Here's my favorite science-backed strategy for cultivating hope. It only takes a few minutes but doing it can help you feel happier and more hopeful about the future.
Brooke Shields has worked in Hollywood since 1978 as an actress and a model. She’s starred on magazine covers across the globe, appeared in movies like Blue Lagoon, and starred in the TV show Suddenly Susan.
She’s also a New York Times bestselling author. In 2005, her book Down Came the Rain talked about the debilitating postpartum depression she experienced after the birth of her daughter and this helped reduce the stigma associated with postpartum depression. In 2014, her book, The Was a Girl, chronicled her life growing up with a single mother who became her show business manager.
One of Brooke’s latest ventures is Beginning Is Now, a website that combats ageism. At age 56, she is showing women that life doesn’t end at 40. Instead, it’s just beginning.
Some of the things she talks about today are the stereotypes about aging that she is trying to break, how to stop comparing yourself to others, and how to get more excited about life at any age.
Whether you don’t feel like working out any longer or you don’t feel like cleaning the house, it’s tough to push yourself to do things you don’t feel like doing.
That’s because your brain will try to hijack your behavior. It might tell you that you’re too tired to keep going. Or it might distract you with catastrophic thoughts.
But you don’t have to believe your brain when it tells you that you can’t stand to keep going. In fact, pushing yourself to do things you don’t want to do is a great way to show your brain that you’re more capable and competent than it gives you credit for.
Here are seven strategies that can help you keep pushing forward when you feel like quitting.
Terry Crews is an NFL player turned actor and TV host. He has appeared on shows like Everybody Hates Chris and Brooklyn Nine-Nine. He’s also hosted shows like Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and America’s Got Talent.
He’s the author of a new book called Tough. In it, he shares stories from his childhood, his experiences in the NFL, and how his idea of real toughness has evolved over the years.
Some of the things he talks about in today's episode are how his definition of toughness has evolved over the years, how he healed from his addiction to pornography, and how he broke free from the shame that held him back in life.
Whether you want to lose weight or you want to get out of debt, change doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process. And much of that process happens long before we even begin to create change.
Here are the six stages of change, how to identify which stage you're in, and what you can do to move through each stage.
When your nervous system is activated and you feel complete panic, thinking calming thoughts might not cut it. Or, when you feel so angry you can’t think clearly, you won’t be able to have a productive problem-solving conversation.
Sometimes, it’s helpful to calm your nervous system first. Changing your body’s physiology can calm both your brain and your body.
That’s where TIPP comes in. It involves four strategies that can change your body's physiology. And when you've calmed your nervous system down, managing your emotions becomes much easier.
Eric Barker is the creator of a blog called Barking Up the Wrong Tree which presents scientific answers about how to "be awesome at life." He’s also the author of two best-selling books. Barking Up the Wrong Tree addressed the science of success. His new book, Plays Well With Others, discusses the science behind relationships.
Some of the things Eric talks about are why friends might be more important than family when it comes to our health and well-being, how to combat loneliness, and the science behind developing more meaningful friendships.
Do you ever think you just don’t have any more to give? Are you emotionally exhausted? Do you feel cynical and hopeless?
These are just a few signs that you might be experiencing burnout. High levels of chronic stress combined with a sense of feeling stuck can lead to burnout.
You can’t always control all the factors that contribute to burnout. An unhealthy work environment may be to blame.
But there are steps you can take to improve your individual situation. A few changes to your lifestyle might go a long way toward helping you feel better.
Lisa Bilyeu is co-founder of Quest Nutrition, a billion-dollar company. She’s also the president of Impact Theory, a weekly interview show that uncovers how achievers become successful.
She’s now the author of a book called Radical Confidence. In it, she describes how changing her mindset helped her create the life of her dreams.
Some of the things she talks about in today's episode are how gratitude was actually keeping her stuck in life, the difference between confidence and radical confidence, and the tools you need to create your best life.
When someone is gaslighting you, you’ll likely second guess yourself. Gaslighters are good at convincing you that you’ve lost touch with reality.
Whether they lie about your behavior, insist your feelings are irrational, or say your thoughts are distorted, their goal is to cause you to feel as though you’re losing your mind.
While gaslighting is most often discussed in terms of romantic relationships, it can occur in other relationships too. Your boss, friends, extended family, or even your doctor may gaslight you.
It’s tough to know what’s real and what isn’t when someone gaslights you. So on today’s episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast, I share four strategies that can help you stay mentally strong when someone is gaslighting you. I explain how to recognize gaslighting and what to do about it.
Edith Eger was a Jew living in Nazi-occupied Eastern Europe when she and her family were sent to Auschwitz, a death camp. Dr. Eger and her sister survived, but their parents did not.
After the war, Dr. Eger got married and had a baby. She and her husband moved to the United States in 1949, and she got her degree in psychology. She began treating people with PTSD, which inspired her to continue working on healing herself.
Now, she’s written two books, The Choice and The Gift, where she chronicles her journey and the lessons she learned along the way.
Dr. Eger's daughter, Marianne Engle, also became a psychologist. She joins us for this conversation today. Some of the things Dr. Eger talks about are the things she had done to promote her own healing, how she fosters resilience in others, and how she has turned her suffering into strength.
Do you ever feel like your brain can’t possibly make one more decision? Do simple choices feel overwhelming sometimes? If so, you might be experiencing decision fatigue.
It’s a real problem that can affect all of us. Our decision-making mental muscles only have so much energy. And when those reserves are depleted, decision-making can go downhill fast.
For some people, decision fatigue causes them to make poor choices. For others, the weariness makes it nearly impossible to decide on anything at all.
Fortunately, there are some things you can do to combat decision fatigue. A few simple changes to the way you operate your day can make a big difference to your brainpower.
In today’s episode, I share the pitfalls of decision fatigue and the five things you can do to avoid it.
Chrissy Metz is an American actress and singer. She’s best known for her role as Kate Pearson on the TV series This Is Us. She’s been nominated for two Golden Globe Awards, a Primetime Emmy Award, and she’s won two Screen Actors Guild Awards.
Chrissy’s 2018 book, This Is Me, became a #1 New York Times Best Seller. In it, she describes her life growing up, the lessons she’s learned along the way, and her tips for living your best life.
Some of the things Chrissy talks about today are how she's learned to recognize her unhealed childhood wounds, the steps she is taking to manage her mental health, and how she's learning to become comfortable being uncomfortable.
Every week, my inbox is flooded with questions from podcast listeners and readers who want to know about mental health, mental strength, and therapy. As much as I’d love to be able to respond to each message, it’s no longer feasible to do so.
So that’s where these "Ask Me Anything" episodes come in. Every month or so, I pick a few questions and address them on the podcast.
On today’s show, I answer questions about recognizing if you have depression, dealing with in-law relationships, and self-talk.
Jenn Mann is a licensed marriage and family therapist who is best known for being the host of VH1’s hit shows Couples Therapy and Family Therapy.
She’s the author of several best-selling books including The Relationship Fix: Dr. Jenn’s 6-Step Guide to Improving Communication, Connection & Intimacy.
Some of the things she talks about today are common communication mistakes, how to reconnect with your partner, and how to improve your relationship.
Imposter syndrome is that uncomfortable feeling you experience when you think you’re unqualified and incompetent. You might look around and assume everyone knows what they’re doing except you.
And if you achieve something good, you’ll chalk your accomplishments up to “good luck.”
Almost everyone experiences imposter syndrome at one point or another. For some people, it’s a small problem. For others though, it can be debilitating.
If you have imposter syndrome, you might worry that someone is going to discover how inept you really are. You might cope by becoming an overachiever. Or you might stop trying to reach your potential so you don’t disappoint anyone.
Imposter syndrome isn’t just something that happens at work. You might struggle with it in your personal life too if you feel like an ineffective parent or you think you aren’t a good partner.
Fortunately, this science-backed strategy for overcoming imposter syndrome can help you live your best life–and feel effective while you’re doing it.
Brooke is a television personality, author, fitness trainer, actress, and entrepreneur.
She’s appeared on my shows over the years, including hosting Wild On!, a travel show that appeared on the E! network. She won the seventh season of Dancing With the Stars and then became a co-host of the show.
She’s the host of the Intimate Knowledge podcast. She’s appeared on the cover of many fitness, lifestyle, and fashion magazines.
Despite her busy lifestyle, she makes self-care a top priority in her life.
Some of the things she talks about today are how she teaches people to get comfortable being uncomfortable, how she establishes boundaries, and how she creates time for herself.
Whether you carried on a whole conversation with spinach in your teeth or you slipped and fell in front of a whole room full of people, embarrassing moments are inevitable.
Although embarrassment feels uncomfortable, it won’t kill you. But the fear of embarrassment might actually be deadly.
Fortunately, there’s help for people who fear being judged or who fear that they’ll experience embarrassment. It’s an issue we frequently address in the therapy office.
Rather than avoid embarrassing moments, there’s something really powerful about learning to cope with embarrassing feelings. You might even get to a place where you can empower yourself by sharing your embarrassing stories with others.
On today’s episode, I share real-life ways the fear of embarrassment sometimes kills people. And I talk about the steps you can take to conquer your fear.
Paul Ekman is often called “the human lie detector,” and he’s considered the world’s deception detection expert.
He’s the inspiration behind the hit series Lie to Me, and he consulted on the movie Inside Out. He’s also trained organizations, such as police departments and the TSA, on how to tell when someone is lying.
TIME Magazine named him one of the 100 most influential people in the world. He’s also been ranked fifteenth among the most influential psychologists of the 21st century.
Some of the things he talks about today are why people lie, the biggest myths we believe about detecting lies, and how you can actually tell if someone is being deceptive.
We’ve all wrestled with tough decisions before. Should I move to a new city? Should I find a different job? Should I end this relationship?
It’s not always those big decisions that are tough. Some smaller decisions are tough too.
Should I call the teacher to tell her that my child is being bullied even though my child asked me not to? Should I call my friend and tell them they hurt my feelings?
When you’re struggling to know what to do, you likely have some go-to habits you reach for. Maybe you call someone to talk through your options. Or maybe you do some online research to help you better understand the facts.
But those habits might not necessarily help you reach the best decision. In fact, they might delay your decision-making or even lead you to make a worse choice.
So on today’s show, I’m talking about a strategy that makes tough decisions simpler. And the best news is this strategy will also help you make better decisions.
Craig Conover is an attorney who stars in Bravo TV’s reality show, Southern Charm. He’s also the author of Pillow Talk: What’s Wrong With My Sewing?
Craig could easily make it look like he has everything figured out. He’s successful in so many different ways.
But, he chooses to talk openly about his struggles with mental health and his past Adderall abuse. Some of the things he shares on the show are how he’s been bullied, how not everyone understands his passion for sewing, and how he’s managing his mental health.
Your brain tries to be helpful. It tells you about the dangers you should be looking out for so that you don’t get hurt. It also likes to remind you of past mistakes in an attempt to prevent you from repeating them.
Of course, though, your brain doesn’t always get it right. It may repeatedly warn you that you shouldn’t apply for a job because you can’t handle the rejection. Or it may dredge up past memories that cause you to stay stuck in a dark place.
There may be times when your brain overestimates you in an unhelpful manner as well. It might convince you that you don’t need to prepare for an interview because you are going to nail it. Or, it may give you a pep talk to talk you into taking a risk that ultimately ends up being a mistake.
Fortunately, you don’t have to believe everything you think. And while you can’t control all the automatic thoughts that pop up into your mind, you can choose how you respond to those thoughts.
On today’s episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast, I talk about how to respond to those unhelpful stories your brain tells you. I’ll give you some effective strategies for responding to irrational thoughts and explain why our brains often get things wrong.
Graeme Tomlinson is a nutrition coach and a personal trainer. His Instagram account has attracted over 1 million followers, making it one of the most popular nutrition/fitness social media accounts in the world.
He’s made it his mission to educate people on the facts about healthy eating. He debunks many of the popular diet culture myths and helps people better understand the false information that is spread in food advertisements.
His latest book, Lose Weight Without Losing Your Mind, explains how to develop a healthier relationship with food.
Some of the things he talks about on the show are the most popular diet myths most people believe, how to stop being hard on yourself for your food choices, and how to develop a healthier mindset about food.
Sometimes, people assume that experiencing an uncomfortable emotion (like sadness or anxiety, is a sign of weakness). This is not true.
In fact, allowing yourself to fully experience an uncomfortable emotion is a sign of strength, not weakness. It’s easier to push your feelings aside or pretend they don’t exist rather than work through them.
There are lots of ways to work through tough feelings—some are healthier than others. In this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast, I share how to stay mentally strong when you’re experiencing uncomfortable feelings. I explain how to recognize the difference between thoughts, feelings, and behavior (something people often get confused about in my therapy office) and how to manage painful feelings in a healthy way.
Jay Glazer hosts FOX Sports’ award-winning NFL pregame show, FOX NFL Sunday. He’s developed a reputation for breaking major stories in the NFL throughout the year, and he’s become the “go-to” reporter for gaining accurate information about football updates.
Now, he’s written a book called Unbreakable, in which he talks openly about his battle with depression and anxiety. He shares the strategies he uses to manage his mental health.
Some of the things he talks about today are why he named his depression "the gray" and how it helps him, how he fights "the gray," and the most effective strategies for managing his mental health.
We all have things that we don’t want to do yet feel obligated to do them. Working out, cleaning the house, and paying the bills are just a few of those things that most of us don’t love doing yet we know these things are important.
It’s hard to force yourself to do something boring or to keep going on a task that you don’t feel like doing.
When we give up on our goals (like quitting the gym), or we avoid doing something often enough (like cleaning the house), we can get down ourselves for not having the mental strength we need to persevere.
But you don’t need to rely on willpower to do unpleasant tasks. Instead, there are strategies you can use to make an unpleasant feeling more pleasant. Then, accomplishing it doesn’t seem so dreadful.
That’s where temptation bundling comes into play. It’s a science-backed strategy that has been found to help people get those unpleasant tasks done more often.
And the best news is, you might even find yourself looking forward to those things you normally don’t like doing when you employ this strategy regularly.
In today’s episode, I’ll explain what temptation bundling is, how it works, and how some people in my therapy office have used it to make their lives better.
Wendy Suzuki is a Professor of Neural Science and Psychology in the Center for Neural Science at New York University.
She invests much of her time studying brain plasticity–how the brain is able to grow and adapt over the lifespan. She is known for her extensive work studying areas of the brain that are critical to our ability to develop and retain long-term memories.
But she’s also conducted a lot of research on anxiety and how we can use it as a way to empower ourselves.
Some of the things she talks about today are the exact exercises that can reduce anxiety, how to turn anxiety into a superpower, and the things that are likely to make your anxiety worse.
Addressing your mental health might feel daunting when you don’t know what to do or when you’re experiencing a mental health issue. You might imagine you have to sign up for a yoga class or learn complicated meditation techniques.
While those things might improve your mental health, they aren’t the only options. There are plenty of things you can do right now to feel better.
In today’s episode, I share some simple but effective ways to improve your mental health. They’re free and most of them don’t require much time. But they can go a long way toward improving your psychological well-being when they’re practiced on a regular basis.
Mallory Ervin held the title of Miss Kentucky in 2009. In 2010, she was fourth runner-up for Miss America. She also competed on the reality show The Amazing Race three separate times.
Despite all the success she had on the outside, she didn’t feel worthy on the inside. And she developed an addiction to pills to help numb her feelings.
Now, she’s written a best-selling book called Living Fully in which she writes about how she finally learned to live a bigger, better life that didn’t depend on achievements to be happy.
Some of the things Mallory talks about on the show today are what made her seek help, what she learned in therapy, and how she's now living a full life (rather than a busy one).
While most people understand what it takes to become physically strong, there’s a lot of confusion about how to grow mentally strong.
Fortunately, there are many things you can do to develop mental strength. You might even do some of them already without realizing that they’re helping you grow mentally stronger.
In this episode, I share the three components of mental strength. I also talk about some specific exercises that can help you develop more mental strength. And I clear up some common misconceptions about what it means to be mentally strong.
KJ Smith is an actress who stars in the BET comedy-drama series Sistas and Starz’s Power Book III: Raising Kanan.
She isn’t shy about talking about her mental health. She has become an advocate for therapy and self-care.
Some of the things she talks about today are how she learned to be comfortable with her emotions, how she modifies her environment to stay mentally healthy, and how she establishes healthy boundaries.
Depression is complicated but some of the treatments can be simple.
That doesn’t mean following through with these treatments is easy–battling depression is a tough job. But it does mean that a few lifestyle changes can sometimes make a big difference to someone who is living with depression.
On today’s Friday Fix episode, I share how therapists often help people battle depression with behavioral therapy. Changing a few things in your calendar could reduce your depression. So today, I’m sharing what those things are and how they could help.
And the best news is, it’s something you can try right away. You can put it into practice today and see if it works for you.
One of the really fun parts about having a podcast is that I get to answer your questions on the show in real-time.
In my work as an author, it’s more of a one-sided conversation. I share my ideas in a book, and while I do receive plenty of messages from readers, I don’t really get to answer questions.
But a podcast is different. I can answer questions in real-time. It’s almost like being able to have a two-way conversation with our listeners.
So I thought it was a good time to do another Ask Me Anything episode. I love knowing what you want to learn more about.
This week, some of the questions I answer involve negative thinking, relationship issues, and finding a therapist.
Born Lenard McKelvey, Charlamagne Tha God is one of the most influential voices in media. He’s the outspoken host of The Breakfast Club, a radio show that reaches over 4.5 million listeners each week. He also co-hosts a popular podcast, The Brilliant Idiots, where he and Andrew Shulz discuss the biggest issues of the day.
He hosts a TV show as well, called Tha God’s Honest Truth, which appears on Comedy Central. It’s a late-night show that addresses a variety of social issues.
He became an advocate for mental health treatment a few years ago when he began talking about his experiences with anxiety.
Some of the things he talks about in this episode are his experiences with therapy, how he manages his mental health, and why he thinks everyone should talk to a therapist.
Have you thought about journaling but didn’t know where to start? Do you think writing about your feelings would be a waste of time? If so, you’re not alone.
I hear many therapy clients say they’ve considered journaling over the years, but for one reason or another, they just didn’t start it. Or if they did start journaling, they didn’t stick with it.
Staring at a blank piece of paper might feel intimidating. Or you might feel overwhelmed by the sheer volumes of journals sold in stores.
But don’t give up on the idea of journaling. There’s tons of evidence that writing in a journal can be good for your emotional well-being.
Not all journaling is created equal, however. There are a few things you can do to make it especially helpful in building mental strength.
In today’s episode, I share what the research says about the benefits of journaling, how to use journaling to build mental strength, and the one thing you should avoid doing when you write in a journal.
Daniel Pink is a New York Times Best Selling author whose books have sold millions of copies around the world.
His fascinating titles about business and behavior include books such as When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing and Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us.
His newest book, The Power of Regret, discusses how to use regret to move ourselves forward in life. He surveyed more than 15,000 people from around the world and uncovered some interesting facts about regret.
Some of the things he talks about in this episode are the four types of regret, the things people regret the most, and how to turn regret into a powerful tool that helps you move forward.
Although online therapy has grown in popularity during the pandemic, a lot of people are still hesitant to try it. And it’s wise to question whether online treatment can be effective as face-to-face therapy.
Afterall, the relationship between a client and a therapist is key to a positive treatmentoutcome. Can someone really establish a healthy alliance with a therapist over video chat or messaging?
As a therapist who has only ever provided face-to-face treatment, I had a lot of questions myself. So I decided to test some of the major online therapy websites. I signed up for treatment as a client to see what it would be like to access services.
I discovered that online therapy isn’t for everyone. But it did have some distinct advantages over face-to-face treatment in some areas.
I also learned that not all online therapy websites are created equal. Some have better features, others are more affordable, and some specialize in specific treatments.
I thought it would be helpful to share what I learned along the way. I talk about what I liked and didn’t like about online therapy.
If you’re questioning online treatment for yourself or you’re wondering if you should suggest it for someone else, check out this episode. I’ll tell you the pros and cons of online therapy and how you can find the best online treatment.
Diane Macedo is an Emmy Award-winning journalist who works as an anchor and correspondent for ABC News. She often appears on Good Morning America, World News Tonight, and World News Now.
She’s also the author of The Sleep Fix, a book that describes how she overcame insomnia. By reading countless studies and interviewing many experts, Diane discovered strategies that helped her get better quality sleep. Now, she’s sharing those strategies to help other people learn how to fix their sleep problems, too.
Some of the things she talks about in this episode are the biggest misconceptions about sleep, the strategies that help her sleep better, and how to know if you're getting enough sleep.
It’s true that happy people smile. But it may also be true that people feel happy because they smile.
Faking a smile might boost your mood, reduce your stress, and help you bounce back from challenges fast.
But you may have also heard about the dangers of forcing a smile when you aren’t feeling it. After all, aren’t you repressing your emotions?
There’s a difference between faking a smile for someone else’s benefit and giving yourself a smile to boost your mood. This episode will explain what research says about this.
I also explain how a fake smile impacts your brain, when to try it, and what benefits you can expect.
And if you aren’t able to force a smile sometimes because you’re just not feeling it, that’s OK too. This episode shares another strategy that works well for those days when you can’t seem to muster a fake smile.
William Miller, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and a professor of psychology and psychiatry at the University of Mexico. He's also the co-founder of motivational interviewing, a strategy therapists use to help people deal with the ambivalence they feel about change.
He’s the author of many books, including his most recent book, On Second Thought, which explores the subject of ambivalence.
Some of the things he talks about are how to accept that you're not completely committed to change, how to handle mistakes and setbacks, and how to talk yourself into doing something when you're "on the fence."
Whether you say, “That chicken was too spicy,” or “The presentation was awful,” you might have strong judgments about the things around you. And while you’re entitled to your opinion, there are ways to experience opinions without being too judgmental.
Sometimes it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that your opinion isn’t a fact, however. Just because you thought a movie was great doesn’t mean everyone else in the family will like it. And your opinion isn’t any more or less true than anyone else’s.
It’s simply a matter of taste.
The way you experience and express your opinions can make a big difference to your mental health. It can also affect your social interactions.
Fortunately, we can all learn to be less judgmental. Learning how to be less judgmental of the events and people around you will also help you be less harsh on yourself.
While it does take practice to change the way you think, it’s something all of us can do. So on this Friday Fix episode, I share how a slight change in the way you word things can make a big difference in your life.
Kindra Hall is a Wall Street Journal best-selling author and an award-winning storyteller. She’s also the chief storytelling officer at Success magazine.
Her newest book, Choose Your Story, Change Your Life, is a self-help book that teaches readers how to shift their narrative in a healthy way.
Some of the things Kindra talks about on the show are how to choose a different version of the stories you tell yourself, how changing your stories could change the entire path of your life, and how to proactively start telling yourself more helpful stories.
While some people say you should always give others the ‘benefit of the doubt,’ other people say doing so means you let people take advantage of you. After all, not everyone has good intentions.
But assuming the best in others doesn’t have to come at your own expense. In fact, you can still assume other people are doing their best while also establishing clear boundaries with them.
There’s a surprising upside of assuming the best in others; it actually lowers your stress level.
But it takes some practice. You might find yourself jumping to conclusions that assume bad intentions automatically. You’ll have to put in some effort to start assuming the best in others.
So on today’s Friday Fix, I explain why it’s healthy to assume the best in others, how to do it, and how to establish healthy boundaries.
Erica is a self-described recovering alcoholic who chose to become a certified drug and alcohol counselor. When she stopped drinking, she learned that she needed to learn some new skills to aid her recovery.
She’s written several books including, Rewired: A Bold New Approach to Addiction & Recovery. In it, she explains how people can rewire their brains, change their behavior, and create positive changes in their lives.
Some of the things Erica talks about on the show are what most people don't understand about addiction, the skills that aid in recovery, and how to address behavioral addictions like gambling or pornography as well as substance abuse.
It’s normal to want to be liked and accepted. But if taken too far, you could become a people-pleaser.
People-pleasing can become a chronic habit that is tough to break. You might say yes to things you don’t want to do to prevent someone from getting angry. Or you might say what you think people want to hear so that you’ll fit in with those around you.
If you’ve been a lifelong people-pleaser, it’s tough to stand up for yourself and express your true opinions.
But it’s important to do so. Being able to be yourself is key to good mental health. It may also be key to helping you reach your goals.
Fortunately, you can start with one small step at a time.
In this episode of the Friday Fix, I share how you can start to break free from people-pleasing habits. I explain why people become people-pleasers, the downsides of trying to make people happy, and the steps you can take to start taking care of your own needs.
Mariel Buquè is a Columbia University-trained psychologist and sound bath meditation healer. She specializes in helping people heal wounds that stem from intergenerational trauma.
Some of the things she talks about on today's episode are how trauma can be passed down from one generation to the next, the five things that can happen when you experience intergenerational trauma, and the strategies that can stop the cycle.
To say it’s been a strange year sounds like an understatement. There were lots of ups and downs in terms of public health, the economy, and the re-opening of many businesses.
And while there was a lot of talk in the past about “things returning to normal,” this year made it clear that things likely won’t go back to the way they used to be. Instead, we’ll be establishing a new normal.
Throughout all the highs and lows, we were thrilled to be able to bring you The Verywell Mind Podcast.
We’re thankful to all of our guests who took time out of their lives to share their stories and offer their best mental strength-building strategies on the show. We’ve talked to experts, authors, celebrities, athletes, and musicians about the steps they take to stay mentally strong.
I also appreciate the opportunity to share my favorite tips with you on each Friday Fix episode. As a therapist, I’m used to speaking with people one-on-one in my therapy office. Being able to create content for a worldwide audience is an amazing experience.
And most of all, we’re grateful to all of you who tuned in, left us reviews, and sent us messages about our content.
It’s been fun to look back at which episodes you gravitated toward the most over the past year. So here’s our year-in-review of the show as we take a look at our most popular episodes of 2021!
When you struggle to reach your goals, you might be tempted to blame it on a lack of self-discipline or too many obstacles that stood in your way. But, there’s a chance the problem wasn’t a character flaw or even an environmental issue. Instead, the problem might have been the goal itself.
If you don’t establish a clear, helpful goal in the beginning, you’ll set yourself up for failure.
Whether you want to get in better shape, pay off your debt, become a happier person, or launch your own business, start with a good goal. The way you word that goal makes a huge difference.
In today’s Friday Fix, I explain how to avoid the most common goal setting mistakes I see as a therapist. And I’ll help you craft a goal that increases your chances of success.
Skyh Black spent much of his life dancing. In fact, he used to be a backup dancer for superstars like Beyoncé, Mariah Carey, and Rihanna.
But a few years ago, he decided he wanted to become an actor. He took a break from dancing and put all his energy into launching an acting career—which meant he became homeless for a bit.
He took acting classes, and with a lot of hard work, started landing roles in movies and on television. Some of his recent TV shows include Sistas, All the Queen’s Men, and Lace.
But he realized that when he's acting, he can finally safely express his emotions (behind a character). And it made him realize how hiding his feelings for most of his life has affected him.
Some of the things he's talking about today are what he learned about feelings in acting classes, the strategies he's now using to manage his mental health, and the warning signs that he needs to take better care of himself.
I thought it would be fun to answer your questions on The Verywell Mind Podcast this week. I put out the call on social media to ask me anything you want. And you certainly answered!
It’s been fun sifting through your questions and hearing your comments. To my surprise, the vast majority of your questions centered around one thing — relationship issues. And most of them weren’t contained to romantic relationships.
Instead, you wanted to know how to set better boundaries, how to deal with people who don’t meet your expectations, and how to address communication difficulties.
So these are some of the things we talk about on today’s show. They’re great questions because the people around you affect your mental strength. And while you can’t change other people, you can certainly influence them. You can also choose how you respond to them.
If I didn’t answer your question today, stay tuned. I titled this episode "Part 1" because I suspect we’ll be doing more "Ask Me Anything" episodes in the future.
Jared Watson (aka Dirty J) is the co-founder and lead vocalist of the band Dirty Heads — a band from Huntington Beach, California, known for its mix of reggae, hip-hop, and rock.
As the band rose to fame, so did Jared's use of alcohol and pills. But he paved his own way to sobriety, and now he's sharing how he discovered the formula for keeping his mind and body in optimal condition.
Some of the things Jared talks about are how he began treating himself like a science experiment, how he uncovered the best diet, exercise, and self-help strategies for himself, and how he's staying motivated to keep up his healthy habits.
Maybe you find yourself doubting whether you are actually good enough for someone you’re dating. Or maybe you second guess whether you’re able to fulfill your role at work. Self-doubt can creep in at any time about all sorts of things.
And most of us aren’t sure how to deal with those nagging thoughts. Sometimes we run those thoughts by a friend or family member in hopes they’ll give us some reassurance. At other times, we believe our doubt and don’t give ourselves a fair chance.
But self-doubt is something everyone deals with. Even people who look completely confident on the outside often question themselves on the inside.
Fortunately, though, you don’t have to let self-doubt get in your way. And you don’t need to wait until you eliminate it to do your best.
You can embrace it and manage it in a way that turns self-doubt into an advantage. On today’s Friday Fix, I share the strategies you can use to deal with self-doubt. So whether you’re doubting you are attractive enough or you’re doubting your ability to be good at your job, here are some surefire strategies that can help.
Heather Monahan is a business expert and the founder of Boss in Heels.
Her first book, Confidence Creator, was a best-seller. She’s also the host of the popular podcast Creating Confidence.
Her newest book, Overcome Your Villains, outlines strategies for overcoming adversity. In it, she reveals how getting fired from her job in corporate America led her to become a successful entrepreneur.
Some of the things she shares today are her three-step process for overcoming adversity, how to become 90% more likely to reach your goals, and how to spread positive energy into the world (as well as what happens when you try).
Chris Winter is a neurologist and sleep expert who helps his patients learn to sleep better. He’s also the author of two books. His first book, The Sleep Solution, was released in 2017. His newest book is called The Rested Child.
Some of the things he talks about in today's episode are how to stop being so anxious when you have trouble falling asleep, how to know when to see a sleep specialist, and the specific strategies that can help you get a better night's sleep.
As your emotions go up, your ability to think clearly goes down. That’s why you might say or do things you later regret when you feel angry. And it’s also why you might reach for an unhealthy coping skill to get immediate relief when your anxiety skyrockets.
Uncomfortable emotions like anxiety, embarrassment, sadness, and anger can be tough to tolerate. And if we’re not careful, these emotions can lead to poor decisions if we don’t manage them well.
From drawing to running, there are many healthy ways you can manage your emotions. The goal isn’t to make uncomfortable emotions go away altogether though. The goal is to reduce them enough that you can think clearly. Then, you can make healthier decisions for yourself.
On today’s Friday Fix, I explain how to identify your current coping skills, and I outline healthy coping strategies you can start experimenting with.
Amishi Jha, Ph.D., is a professor of psychology at the University of Miami, and she’s written a new book called Peak Mind. In it, she shares how we can improve our attention spans and become better focused in just 12 minutes a day.
Some of the things you'll hear her discuss are why it seems like our attention spans have gotten worse, the strategies that will help you get more focused, and how improving your attention can improve your life.
Your emotions affect how you think and how you behave. Yet, most of us spend very little time thinking about how we’re feeling. And we often don’t even recognize how our emotional state impacts our performance.
The good news is, we have some control over how we feel. That means we have the power to put ourselves in an emotional state that can work toward our advantage at any given moment.
We also may be in danger of allowing ourselves to get into an emotional state that hinders our performance or makes it harder to enjoy the moment.
So on today’s Friday Fix, I explain how getting yourself in the best emotional state can help you get the most out of life. Whether you’re about to give a big presentation or you’re about to read your kids a goodnight story, getting in the right emotional state for each circumstance can help you think, feel, and do your best.
Bryan Abrams is a Multi-Platinum Award-winning singer who is best known for his role in the R&B group Color Me Badd. The group rose to the top of the charts in the 90s with songs like, “I Wanna Sex You Up,” "I Adore Mi Amor," and “All 4 Love.”
As the group rose to fame and sold millions of records, Bryan dealt with some serious private battles—including depression, an eating disorder, and drinking too much.
After several attempts to get better, Bryan found a rehab center that helped him address his mental health and substance abuse issues. Now he’s speaking out about his experiences with the mental health system.
Some of the things Bryan shares are how to find treatment that actually works, how to find the strength to get help, and what he's doing to improve his mental health now that he's sober.
Could repeating a phrase to yourself over and over again actually improve your mental health? As simple as it sounds, there’s a good chance that developing a personal mantra can make a positive difference in your life.
A simple mantra could help you stay on track with your goals, drown out negative thoughts, help you resist temptations, or even help you perform better.
Most people confuse a mantra with a positive affirmation. They’re not exactly the same thing.
So in this Friday Fix, I explain the difference. I share some examples of how people use them—from clients in my therapy office to professional athletes. And I also share how you can develop your own personal mantra.
Iskra Lawrence is a British model who has been included in campaigns for major brands without her photos being retouched (something that is quite rare in the modeling industry). She was included in BBC’s 100 Women, and she is a brand ambassador for the National Eating Disorders Association. She’s also a frequent guest author to many publications including SELF Magazine and TIME.
Some of the things Iskra talks about in this episode are strategies for feeling better about your appearance, tips for being less focused on how you look, and her advice for anyone who is dealing with body image issues.
Shame is a painful feeling we all experience at one time or another. It often involves a deep-rooted fear that someone is going to find out about a mistake we made or a character flaw we have.
When we feel shame, we want to hide from everyone. And it can lead to isolation and suffering.
It’s a frequent topic of conversation in therapy. Sometimes shame stems from past trauma. At other times, it is triggered by feelings of not being good enough.
Fortunately, there are steps you can take to address your shame. And when you do, you can begin to thrive.
In this episode, I share the most helpful thing you can do to start addressing your shame. I also talk about the difference between shame and guilt, how our upbringing affects our shame, and why parents shouldn’t shame their kids.
Kyle Guy is an NBA player who has battled anxiety both on and off the court. He's learned a lot about anxiety in the past few years, and now he's sharing how he is managing his symptoms.
Some of the things he shares are the coping strategies that work when he feels anxious, how he stays focused on the things he can control, and the treatment he has found to be most helpful.
We all make mistakes. Some mistakes are thinking errors—like assuming the reason your friend didn’t respond to a text message is that they’re mad at you. Other mistakes are emotional—like allowing yourself to stay stuck in a really angry mood. But most of the mistakes we talk about are behavioral—like saying hurtful things or drinking too much.
No matter which type of mistake you make, each misstep is an opportunity to learn a valuable life lesson. But before you can learn a life lesson, you have to be willing to face your mistake head-on in a self-compassionate way.
In today’s episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast, I share how you can turn a mistake into a valuable life lesson. I discuss the three questions you should ask yourself when you make a mistake and the strategies that will ensure a mistake becomes an opportunity for growth.
You likely know Nikki Sixx from the legendary rock band Mötley Crüe.He's the bassist and the primary songwriter. He’s also a member of the successful band Sixx:A.M.
It's no secret that Nikki experienced years of addiction. But now he's sober, and he's talking about the adversity he faced as a child. In his new book, The First 21, he chronicles how he ultimately overcame his rough past.
Some of the things he talks about in this episode are how he uses meditation, how therapy has helped him, and how journaling helps him understand himself better.
When you repeat a mistake, you might be tempted to draw inaccurate conclusions about yourself. You might think you lack willpower, or you might start to believe you’re incapable of change. Ultimately, your mistakes may cause you to stop trying to reach your goals.
But sometimes a few simple changes to the way you respond to a mistake make a huge difference.
Whether you keep eating more than you intend or you blow your budget every month, in this Friday Fix I share six strategies that can help you stop making the same mistakes over and over again.
Kati Morton is a licensed marriage and family therapist who runs a private practice in Santa Monica, California.
She’s well known for her YouTube channel which has attracted more than 1 million subscribers who tune in to hear her mental health tips.
In this episode, we talk about her new book, Traumatized: Identify, Understand, and Cope with PTSD and Emotional Stress.
Some of the things she shares are the different reactions people have toward traumatic circumstances, how childhood trauma can impact us, and the steps we can take to manage our symptoms if we’ve been traumatized.
When we’re faced with tough situations or unfair circumstances, our tendency is to fight against them. We think about all the reasons those things shouldn’t be happening, rather than accept them for what they are.
Unfortunately, refusing to accept a situation creates a lot of unnecessary suffering. This is something I often see as a therapist.
This is where radical acceptance comes into play. Research shows it's a great way to begin addressing a situation (and the emotions) head-on so you can move forward.
In this Friday Fix, I share how radical acceptance works, what researchers have found about the benefits, and how to start practicing it in your own life.
Helen Russell is a journalist, author, and happiness researcher. She's written several books on happiness and why some people are happier than others.
Her latest book, however, is called How to Be Sad. Through her research, she discovered that allowing ourselves to be sad could be the key to becoming happier.
Some of the things she talks about in this episode are the benefits of happiness, the strategies we should stop using when we feel sad, and the coping skills that can help us embrace the sadness so we can ultimately grow happier. She also shares a simple strategy that could reduce your risk of depression by 30%.
JoJo is a GRAMMY Award-Winning singer, songwriter, and actress. She chose to start talking about her mental health publicly a few years back. She revealed she has battled depression, and she shared that she attends therapy and takes antidepressants.
While many people talk about their struggles with mental health once they feel better, JoJo makes it clear that managing her mental health is an ongoing process.
Some of the things you'll hear on the show are how therapy has helped her, how she deals with self-doubt, how her view of mental strength has shifted over time, and why depression isn't a sign of weakness.
You’ve likely seen Matthew McConaughey in one of his movies, like Dazed and Confused, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, or A Time to Kill. He has a long list of accolades, including an Academy Award for Best Actor for his role in Dallas Buyers Club.
He’s also the author of a hugely successful book called Greenlights. The book is a memoir that includes many of his old journal posts from years back. But it also includes information on how he manages setbacks and overcomes obstacles.
In this episode, he talks about his book Greenlights. He also shares some of the stories from his life, the lessons he learned along the way, and the strategies he uses to fully embrace his life.
There are many undisputed benefits of being a positive, optimistic person. And if you aren’t naturally a positive person, you can learn to become one.
Part of being a positive person might involve looking for the silver lining even in hardship. Perhaps you can even recognize times in your life when you were able to see how something good came out of something really bad.
Like maybe a breakup allowed you to meet someone better. Or maybe a job loss helped you discover inner strength that you never even knew existed.
You’ve likely also encountered people who encourage you to look on the bright side. Maybe your mom reminds you that, “Something better will come along,” when you don’t get hired. Or maybe your friend says, “Well, at least he’s in a better place,” when your dog dies.
Should you listen to these attempts to remind you about the silver lining? Should you go looking for a silver lining when the benefits aren’t obvious? These are some of the questions I address on today’s Friday Fix.
I reveal what the research says about looking on the bright side and how doing so might affect your mental health and your physical health.
Katy Milkman is a professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania and the host of Charles Schwab’s popular behavioral economics podcast Choiceology.
She is the co-founder and co-director of the Behavior Change for Good Initiative, a research center whose mission is to advance the science of lasting behavioral change.
Her new book, How to Change: The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be, is a best-seller that describes the little things you can do to make a big difference in your life.
Some of the things Katy shares are her favorite research studies about how to make good habits stick, the critical steps you should take to eliminate a bad habit, and how to set yourself up for success.
Many people view vulnerability as a sign of weakness. After all, when you’re vulnerable you put yourself in a position where you could be hurt.
So in an effort to prevent others from hurting you, you put up protective armor to stay safe. And while that protective armor may spare you from some emotional injuries, it will also prevent you from enjoying a lot of good things in life.
Our protective armor often comes in the form of rules we’ve established for ourselves. Quite often, though, we don’t even recognize our rules because we’ve grown so accustomed to living by them.
Asking yourself a few key questions, however, can help you uncover those rules you’ve established in your life. I guarantee you have a few.
In today’s Friday Fix, I share how to recognize your protective armor, why becoming more vulnerable is actually a strength, and steps you can take to practice being more vulnerable in a healthy way.
Ally Love is the in-arena host of the Brooklyn Nets, and she’s a Peloton instructor. She’s also the founder and CEO of Love Squad, a fitness and lifestyle website that empowers women.
Ally’s successful career path has taught her that it’s important to value progress over perfection.
She acknowledges that she’s often put too much pressure on herself to be perfect and to be liked by other people. But she’s working on learning how to cut herself some slack.
It’s a message she teaches the people she works with as well. You don’t have to be perfect, but you can still take a step in the right direction today. Some of the things she discusses in this episode are how to deal with criticism, how to cut yourself some slack, and how to rebound when you make a mistake.
On the surface, it seems like hearing nice things about yourself would help you feel good. After all, don’t you want to know if your colleague thinks you’re brilliant or the person you’re dating thinks you’re attractive?
If hearing a compliment actually makes you feel uncomfortable, though, you’re not alone. Most people actually cringe when they hear a compliment about themselves.
In an attempt to alleviate the awkwardness, we tend to deflect compliments. Consequently, we miss out on the benefits of hearing praise.
Fortunately, you can grow more comfortable with hearing nice things about yourself. But first, you have to understand why you don’t want to hear compliments.
So in this Friday Fix, I share the four main reasons compliments make us cringe, the three ways we try to deflect compliments, and the things you can do to get more comfortable hearing nice things about yourself.
It’s scary at first to acknowledge that you can’t control something. You can’t force your parents to stop drinking. And you can’t force your partner to love you. You can’t make your kids get good grades.
You can, however, control how you respond to those things. You can influence people with praise and boundaries and by making your expectations clear. And you can work on managing your emotional response when things don’t turn out the way you want.
When you put your effort into the things you can control, life gets better. So on today’s Friday Fix, I share how to tell if you’re focusing on things you can’t control and five strategies that will help you stop doing it.
Dave Hollis is a New York Times best-selling author. He’s also the host of the Rise Together podcast, a keynote speaker, and a life and business coach.
He has a new book coming out in October of 2021 called Built for Courage where he shares how he is rebuilding his life again after divorce.
Some of the things Dave talks about on the show include the lessons he's learned from going through his best but toughest year ever, why journaling is so good for you, and how to create the life of your dreams.
Hosting a podcast from a sailboat in the Florida Keys is fun, but it certainly poses a few challenges (like tropical storms).
But we’ve met some incredible people. From authors and experts to celebrities and musicians, I’ve interviewed some amazing people who graciously shared their time, their stories, and their wisdom with our audience.
To celebrate our first 100 shows, I countdown 10 of my favorite mental strength lessons from the show so far.
Brian Pilecki is a psychologist based in Portland, Oregon. He’s passionate about the potential for psychedelic substances to be used in a therapeutic environment — something that is likely to happen in Oregon soon.
He has spent more than 20 years studying psychedelics such as psilocybin, MDMA, and ayahuasca and their potential role in mental health treatment. On today's show, he talks about the difference between recreational use of psychedelics versus therapeutic use, the types of conditions psychedelics might treat, and the best resources to learn more information.
The link between financial health and mental health goes both ways. Debt may increase your risk of mental health issues, but mental health issues may also increase your risk of getting into debt.
When you’re experiencing both a mental health issue and some serious financial strain, it’s tough to know how to even get started addressing either issue.
On today’s Friday Fix, I talk about the link between your money and your mental health and share five strategies for addressing both of them in your life.
Celeste Headlee is a journalist, speaker, and co-host of Retro Report, a weekly series on PBS.
She’s also the author of several books including We Need to Talk and Do Nothing.
Her TED Talk, "10 ways to have a better conversation," is one of the most viewed talks of all time. She’s a well-respected expert in communication and how to hold uncomfortable conversations.
Some of the things she talks about in this episode are how to hold difficult conversations with people, how to become better at making conversation, and how to deliver bad news effectively.
Whether you’ve gone through a bad breakup or you’re struggling with a financial situation, tough times make it tempting to feel sorry for yourself.
But self-pity is self-destructive. It’s much different than sadness.
Allowing yourself to feel sad can be part of the healing process. Feeling sorry for yourself, however, will keep you stuck in a place of pain.
So on today’s Friday Fix, I share why it sometimes feels good when we feel sorry for ourselves. I also explain the top five reasons why you shouldn’t do it and the concrete strategies that can prevent self-pity. These strategies can also help you find your way out if you’re already feeling sorry for yourself.
Most of us feel pressure to keep going when things feel hard. In fact, we sometimes think that the harder something is to do, the longer we should stick with it.
We’ve been told things like, “Quitters never win,” and “Never ever give up!”
Certainly pushing yourself even when things get hard can build character. Grit, perseverance, and hardiness are all key components of mental strength.
But does quitting a job you hate mean you weren’t strong enough to hack it?
On today’s Friday Fix, I share how to know when you should quit and when you should keep going.
LeAnn Rimes is one of the most successful recording artists of all time, selling over 37 million records worldwide to date. She also hosts a podcast called Wholly Human which is dedicated “to helping others overcome the fragmentation that keeps us from feeling more complete and connected in today’s world.”
On today's show, LeAnn talks about how she takes care of herself and what it means to be 'wholly human.'
Justin Baldoni is best known for his acting role on Jane the Virgin. He's also a filmmaker, author, and podcast host. His new book, Man Enough, talks about how we can redefine masculinity.
In a world where "acting tough" is often confused with "being strong," Justin is paving the way to understanding what it really means to be a man.
He’s open about his struggles and the ways in which he gains support. And he is clear that he continues to make mistakes but considers himself to be a work in progress.
Have you ever thought about how you deal with uncomfortable emotions? Do you start scrolling through your smartphone whenever you feel the slightest bit bored? Do you text an ex who isn’t good for you whenever you feel lonely?
We usually don’t think much about these habits we’ve established in life. And we rarely reflect on how little habits affect us so much in the big picture.
The way you respond to uncomfortable emotions establishes patterns in your life. You might not even recognize them even though you reach for the same go-to solutions every time.
It’s quite possible that some of these solutions actually introduce new problems into your life or make your existing problems worse.
This is just one reason we establish unhealthy patterns in our lives. In this Friday Fix, I share the other reasons why we get stuck relying on tempting shortcuts or avoiding the things we need to face.
I also share how to break free from unhealthy patterns so we can create the kind of life we actually want to live.
Today's guest is Dr. Mark Goulston, a psychiatrist who learned the value of listening to people. His wisdom has led him to become a consultant to many major organizations as well as a hostage negotiator trainer.
He is also the author of several best-selling books, including Just Listen, Get Out of Your Own Way, and Talking to Crazy.
On today's episode, Dr. Goulston explains the benefits you'll gain when you become a better listener, how your listening skills benefit others, and how to start sharpening your listening skills today.
Whether you lost your cool when a telemarketer called you at an inconvenient time or you sent a scathing email you wish you could take back, it’s likely that all of us have had times when our anger caused us to act in an irrational manner.
Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. But it needs to be managed. If it isn’t, it can lead to aggressive and destructive behaviors.
Whether your anger is a big problem or it just leads to the occasional issue, there are likely things you can do to manage your anger better. In fact, we likely all have room for improvement.
On this Friday Fix, I share how to get better at calming yourself down and managing those angry feelings in a healthy way.
Jessica Lahey has spent more than 20 years as a teacher, including five years teaching in a drug and alcohol rehab center for adolescents. She is a New York Times Best-Selling author.
She's also a self-described alcoholic who set out on a quest to learn how to prevent her kids from falling into a generational cycle of addiction.
In this episode, she talks about her new book, The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. She shares how to empower kids to refuse substances, how to talk about alcohol in an effective manner, and how to decrease the chances that a child will develop a drug or alcohol problem.
Why would a med student party all night before a big test? And why would someone who has almost all their debt paid off go out and buy a car they can’t afford?
Self-sabotage is a strange concept. We claim we want to reach a goal, and we complain about the obstacles that threaten our chances at success. Yet more often than not, the biggest hurdle to achievement is ourselves. We sabotage ourselves in some pretty clever ways.
It’s a phenomenon I see quite often as a therapist. Yet some people don’t even realize they’re doing it.
Why on earth would we blow our own chances of success?
In this episode, I explain the psychology behind self-sabotage including the seven major reasons why we do it. Becoming more aware of these reasons can help you recognize self-sabotage when it’s happening.
I also explain how to fix it so you can get out of your own way and start working toward your goals.
Dr. Ramsey is a psychiatrist. But rather than focus solely on prescribing antidepressants or antianxiety medications, he helps people change their diet. He's a firm believer in the fact that most people can help themselves feel better by changing what they eat.
In this episode, he talks about his new book, Eat to Beat Depression and Anxiety. Some of the things he talks about are the most important foods you should be eating right now, the nutrients most people aren't getting, and the strategies you can use to take charge of your brain chemistry.
Mindfulness is about learning how to live in the present moment. That’s hard to do in today’s world, though.
So often, we miss out on things because our minds are wandering.
We don’t pay attention to someone who is talking to us because we’re thinking about all those things on our to-do list. Or we miss what’s going on in our kids’ basketball games because we’re so worried about whether we offended someone in a conversation we had yesterday. The list of distractions is endless.
When we become mindful, however, we learn to focus on what is happening right now. And when we do, we become fully present in our lives.
Not only might that help us feel better, but it may also have a great positive impact on our relationships.
It takes practice to get there though. And in today’s Friday Fix, I share four simple strategies that can help you start practicing mindfulness right now.
The conversations you have with yourself matter. If you beat yourself up, call yourself names, or tear yourself down, you'll struggle to feel good and perform well.
That's why self-compassion is so important. But self-compassion isn't just about using nice words. Sometimes, it involves taking action.
On this episode, Kristin Neff, a pioneer in self-compassion research, explains how to practice fierce self-compassion.
Some of the things she talks about is why suppressing emotions doesn't work, the difference between tender self-compassion and fierce self-compassion, and how to start changing your inner dialogue.
It’s tough to know how you’re doing unless you have someone to compare yourself with. Do you earn a lot of money? Are you tall? Are you a good basketball player? It all depends on who you’re comparing yourself to.
But comparisons can be harmful to your psychological well-being.
Fortunately, there are some things you can do to help you stop comparing yourself to other people. In this Friday Fix episode, I share how to recognize when you’re comparing yourself to others, why it’s bad for your mental health, and the five things you can do to put an end to unhelpful comparisons.
Olympic gold medalist Laurie Hernandez opens up about how she found the courage to face depression.
She discusses how she discovered she was depressed, the steps she took to get treatment, and the strategies she uses to stay mentally strong.
Just five days prior to this interview, she injured her knee and learned that she would not be able to compete in the 2021 Olympics. But you'll see how her positive attitude shines through and helps her deal with the disappointment.
When you’re feeling nervous about something at work or you’re feeling down for no reason at all, well-timed kind words from someone else can help you feel better.
But, there won’t always be someone available with helpful words at just the right moment.
And in those moments, it’s tough to remind yourself of the kind things you could say to yourself.
That’s why writing yourself a kind letter can be so powerful. Then, you’ll always have some reassuring words at your fingertips.
So in today’s Friday Fix, I explain how to write yourself a kind letter and I share an example from my own life as well as from my therapy office.
John Burns is the CEO of TB12, the wellness company founded by Super Bowl champion Tom Brady. John shares what it takes to develop the mindset of a champion.
Some of the things he talks about are realistic optimism, redefining your limits, and focusing on the things you can control.
Everyone experiences grief. Yet we rarely talk about our experiences.
Grief is the process by which we heal. And staying strong through grief isn’t about not crying or not feeling sad. It’s about allowing yourself to work through uncomfortable emotions so you can heal.
On today’s Friday Fix, I clear up some of the biggest misconceptions about grief. I also share how to stay mentally strong when you’re working through grief.
Jillian Michaels is a fitness expert and renowned life coach. Her fitness videos and apps have helped hundreds of millions of people get in shape around the globe.
She is best known for her role as a coach on the TV show, The Biggest Loser, where she helped people lose weight week after week. She’s also a New York Times bestselling author and the host of a popular podcast called, “Keeping It Real.”
Some of the things she shares on today's show include how to motivate yourself when you don't feel like it, how to set other people up for success, and how to get back on track when you've messed up.
Whether you said something out of anger and hurt your partner’s feelings or you completely forgot about a deadline for work, your next move is critical.
Saying, “I’m sorry,” doesn’t automatically make things better. Apologies often fall short—or even make things worse.
But there is a way to make an apology effective.
In fact, when an apology is delivered well, you might make things better than they were before you messed up.
So on today’s Friday Fix, I share the exact things you should say to increase the chances that your apology will be accepted.
If you ever have unhelpful thoughts that run through your head, this episode is for you. I talk to bestselling author Jon Acuff about how to replace the the broken soundtracks in your head.
Some of the things he shares are how to tell when you're overthinking, how to replace unhelpful soundtracks with healthier ones, how to shift your mindset, and much much more.
Problems always feel bigger at 2 AM. And that's why Daniel Howell wrote his new book, "You Will Get Through This Night."
Daniel is a comedian and entertainer whose videos have attracted over 1 billion views on YouTube. He’s also an award-winning host of a BBC radio show.
He’s written several New York Times bestselling books, including The Amazing Book is Not on Fire and Dan and Phil Go Outside.
His newest book, however, isn’t funny, however. It takes a close look at the strategies that can help people deal with the uncomfortable emotions that often crop up at night.
Today, he shares actionable coping skills you can use in the middle of the night when you're anxious, stressed out, or depressed.
The way you think affects how you feel and it affects how you behave.
One slight change to the way you think might make a huge difference in your life.
If you’re like most people, you might think in the first-person. You tell yourself, “I have to go to the store,” or “I am going to mess up.”
But you may want to start using third person when you think—call yourself by your name or use your pronouns.
It’s something that NBA all-star Lebron James has demonstrated. And researchers think he’s onto something.
In today’s Friday Fix, I share why you might want to start talking to yourself in the third person and how it can help you make better decisions in your life.
Dr. Jud Brewer is a psychiatrist and a neuroscientist. He’s spent more than 20 years researching habit change and the “science of self-mastery.”
His newest book, Unwinding Anxiety, became an instant New York Times bestseller. When you hear him talk, you'll understand why his book is so popular. He shares some really simple but effective strategies for managing anxiety.
Just because the pandemic restrictions are lifting doesn’t mean it’s OK to stop taking care of your mental health.
In fact, caring for your mental health right now might be more important than ever. Now that the crisis is beginning to subside, the way you move forward matters.
There are some common mental health mistakes people make whenever they emerge from a tough time. And while we all make mistakes sometimes, it’s important to recognize those mistakes so we can create positive changes.
On today’s Friday Fix, I’m sharing the mistakes you’ll want to avoid as we emerge from the pandemic. The way you think, feel, and act right now makes a huge difference to your overall well-being.
When Danielle Walker was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, physicians told her that her illness could be well-managed with medication. But Danielle’s symptoms didn’t go away. In fact, flare-ups caused her to lose a lot of weight, and she required frequent hospitalizations.
Ultimately, she decided to change her diet — even though doctors said doing so wouldn't improve her symptoms. Her diet changes ultimately saved her.
But she found herself struggling to stick to her diet changes because the food didn't taste all that good. So she experimented with new recipes until she discovered how to create delicious food that met her dietary requirements.
There was such a demand for her recipes that she wrote a cookbook. And her book became a bestseller.
Now, she shares how to find the courage to save yourself. Whether you're looking for alternative strategies to manage your depression or you want to take a holistic approach to managing your chronic pain, Danielle has some great strategies that could help you discover what works best for you.
A lot of things were out of your control over this past year. Fortunately, you can control the attitude you have as you emerge from these tough times.
There are some ways to reflect on this year that can help you turn it into an opportunity for growth.
In today’s Friday Fix, I share five questions you can use to reflect on your time during the pandemic. Answering these questions and writing down your answers can help you grow from the adversity you encountered this year.
Dr. John Umhau is a physician and addiction medicine specialist. His telemedicine practice focuses on the treatment of alcohol use disorder through diet, medication, and The Sinclair Method.
If you drink more than you'd like or know someone who does, stick around for this episode. Dr. Umhau's wisdom might give you hope that you can take steps to curb cravings for alcohol and reduce problem drinking.
Whether you want to bring up a difficult subject with a loved one or you want to join a new class, fear can be a powerful obstacle. In fact, any uncomfortable emotion (like sadness, anxiety, or anger) can stand in between you and your goals if you let it.
In today’s Friday Fix, I share one of my favorite strategies for finding courage when you need it the most so you can face your fears, make a change, or do something you’ve always wanted to do.
Paul Gilmartin is a comedian. He was the longtime host of the TBS show Dinner and a Movie. He's also appeared on Comedy Central, MTV, HBO, and VH1.
He’s now the host of a popular podcast called The Mental Illness Happy Hour. He interviews celebrities, experts, and everyday people about their trauma, mental illness, addiction, and negative thinking.
He had always made other people laugh, and he looked like he was enjoying life from the outside.
But mental illnesses are often hidden. And just because someone doesn’t “look depressed” doesn’t mean that they aren’t. In today's show, Paul talks about how he got sober, what helped reduce his depression, and how he faces uncomfortable emotions.
A lot of people have entered my therapy office over the years saying things like, “I just have to get rid of my stress.”
But stress is part of life. And there will always be obstacles and hardships. Even having nothing to do can be quite stressful.
Being mentally strong when you’re feeling stressed out doesn’t mean ignoring your stress or pretending it doesn’t exist. It’s about being aware of your stress levels so you can take action.
Stress management is a skill that can be learned. And we all have the ability to get better at it.
On today’s episode of the Friday Fix, we’re talking about how to change the way you think about stressful events. Shifting your mindset could make a huge difference in how your body and your brain reacts to stress.
Melissa Bernstein creates all the toys for her company, Melissa & Doug. Melissa also has what she calls "existential" depression. She's discovered a lot of creative people experience this. Fortunately, she's also discovered some things that help her feel better.
In this episode, she shares how to know if you have existential depression and the strategies that can help.
The way you respond to feelings of anxiety makes a huge difference in how intense these emotions become and how long they last.
There may be some mistakes you’re making that are actually making your anxiety worse.
Fortunately, learning about anxiety can help you figure out how to respond to your anxious feelings in a helpful way.
On today’s Friday Fix, I share one of my favorite strategies for taming anxiety. It’s a great first step for any time you feel anxious.
“It's so easy to say, ‘Oh, everything happens for a reason.’ But if you don't do the work to figure out the reason, then you're never going to see the purpose in that mistake.”
When Craig Grossi was serving in Afghanistan, he befriended a stray dog named Fred. When his deployment was up, he decided to smuggle Fred into the United States with him.
The two then took a cross country road trip and documented their adventures in Craig's first book, Craig and Fred.
Now, Craig and Fred help train service dogs in the Maine State Prison. Craig started a writing group with some of the veterans who were in prison and he learned some valuable life lessons. Some of the things he talks about include friendship, forgiveness, and finding the courage to ask for help.
Kids need mental strength just as much as adults, especially right now.
So I'm thrilled that my first-ever mental strength book for kids has hit the shelves. It's called 13 Things Strong Kids Do.
My book teaches kids how to build mental muscle so they can think big, feel good, and act brave.
And while my book is written for kids, it’s important for the adults in their lives to reinforce the material.
After all, kids often need a coach who is there with them in the moment. So when they’re tempted to give up or when they begin to doubt themselves, we can teach them how to apply the exercises to real-life situations.
On today’s Friday Fix, I share the 13 Things Strong Kids Do and some strategies you can use to encourage your kids to develop these healthy habits now.
Mallory couldn’t control her circumstances. But she took control of her attitude.
She chose to continue swimming competitively after becoming paralyzed from the waist down. And even though things were a lot different for her after her injury, she chose to keep striving to reach her greatest potential.
Some of the things Mallory discusses include the messiness of grief, how to respond to people who try to define your limitations, and how to shift your own beliefs about your capabilities.
There may be several ways in which you give away your power without even realizing that you’re doing it.
You might waste a lot of time thinking about someone you don’t like. This would mean you are giving that person power over your time.
Or you might let someone treat you poorly. Perhaps you don’t dare speak up because you don’t want to seem rude—but then you still blame the other person for ruining your day. This means you are giving that person power over your life.
Retaining your personal power requires you to take responsibility for the way you think, feel, and act. It’s about being proactive regarding how much time and energy you devote to the people and activities in your life.
In today’s episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast, I’ll share a simple but powerful exercise that can help you take back your power so you feel more in control.
Even though Kendall shares a lot of inspirational and motivational messages with her followers, she’s open about her own struggles with mental health issues.
She makes it clear that while her OCD and depression were treated, she doesn’t consider her journey with mental health over. She continues to make her mental health an ongoing priority in her life, and she shares the strategies that work for her.
Some of the things Kendall shares are how to make your mental health a real priority in your life, a strategy that can help you take action when you don't feel like it, how to find the courage to ask for help when you need it, and much, much more.
Many well-intentioned people say things like, “Just picture how happy you’ll be when you land that job,” or “Imagine how great you’ll feel when you reach your weight goal!”
On the surface, this type of advice seems to make sense. “Keep your eyes on the prize,” and you’ll stay motivated to get there.
But visualizing yourself achieving the things you want isn’t actually a good idea. Not only might you waste your time, but studies show that putting something up on your "vision board" could reduce your chances of success.
That’s not to say visualization can’t be a great tool. It can. But only if you use it the right way!
Whether your goal is to run a 10K or you want to buy a house on the ocean, there are some visualization techniques that can help you make it happen.
So on today’s Friday Fix, I share the research-backed strategies for visualization that can help you perform better so you can increase the chances that you’ll reach your goals.
Personal development coach and international bestselling author Mike Bayer figured out the secret for making decisions easy. He went from battling an addiction to opening to his own treatment center.
He's written a book called One Decision. And on today's show, he shares how to live according to your values, how to discover your authentic self, the one decision everyone should make, and much, much more.
When you’re faced with a stressful situation, your brain might be quick to remind you of all the ways you’re not equipped to handle the challenge.
Whether your bills are piling up or you’re worried about a loved one with a health issue, difficult experiences raise your stress levels. And the more stressed you feel, the less likely you are to cope with the situation in a healthy way.
Fortunately, you can take steps to reduce your distress no matter how difficult the situation.
On today’s Friday Fix, I share a quick science-backed strategy that can help you unleash your inner superhero. The truth is, you have an inner strength that you draw upon, and knowing how to dig deep when you need it the most can help you get through life’s toughest challenges.
Jamie Kern Lima is proof that you can conquer self-doubt. Her belief that she could succeed helped her develop a billion-dollar cosmetic company. But she got rejected and turned down many times along the way.
In today's episode, she shares how to deal with rejection, how she managed the depression and anxiety she experienced, how to develop a belief in yourself, and much, much more.
For most of us, our days revolve around screen time. We stare at our computers to work. We use our phones to socialize. We watch TV for entertainment.
But too much screen time can drain our mental strength.
Excessive screen time has been linked to everything from relationship issues to increased mental health problems. Screen time can also interfere with sleep, reduce productivity, and take a toll on our physical health.
And while there are many recommendations out there about the importance of reducing screen time, actually doing so isn’t always easy.
We know that staring at social media and scrolling through news stories isn’t good for our health. Yet sometimes we feel compelled to keep doing these things anyway.
On today’s Friday Fix episode, I share how to keep your screen time from draining the mental strength you need to be your best. Tune in for three realistic strategies to incorporate into your life so that you can enjoy the moment more and be less glued to your screens.
Nedra Glover Tawwab is a fellow therapist who specializes in relationships. She helps people manage anxiety and depression that often stem from difficult relationships, and she teaches people how to set boundaries with difficult family members.
She shares a lot of tips for self-care and setting boundaries on social media, including on Instagram where she has attracted over 800,000 followers.
In today's episode, she talks about the telltale signs that you need better boundaries, how to establish clear boundaries, what to do when people violate those boundaries, and much, much more.
After 53 episodes of Mentally Strong People, I'm excited to share a huge announcement!
We're partnering with Verywell Mind to reach even more people. So starting next week, we're going to look a little different. But we'll keep sharing mental strength tips and strategies that can help you think, feel, and do your best.
On today's Friday Fix, I share the deeply personal reason behind why this partnership means so much to me.
“We can manage our minds. Our minds are malleable. It's a skill that we can actually learn. It's not a therapy technique. It's not a little magic trick. This is hardcore science.” Dr. Caroline Leaf is a cognitive neuroscientist who has spent more than 30 years studying the brain. Her research has found that changing the way you think and changing the way you approach problems can physically alter your brain.
She shares how her five-step approach to mind management can reduce toxic thinking as well as depression and anxiety by 81%. It's a simple but effective way to physically transform your brain so you can feel and do your best.
Whether you're terrified of public speaking or you have claustrophobia, fears and phobias can take a toll on your life.
And while some people avoid the things that scare them the most, other people go about facing their fears the wrong way.
Fortunately, there are some things you can do to overcome your fears. On this Friday Fix, I share a therapist-approved strategy that can help you conquer your fears once and for all.
“I can say, ‘I forgive you and no, you're not allowed to do this.’ That way I can show up more readily with other people in my life and still be kind.”
Amy talks to kindness advocate, Houston Kraft. He's reached millions of people with his message that just might change the way you think about kindness.
Houston shares why hanging posters that say, "Be Kind," might be doing more harm than good. He also talks about the different types of kindness, how to establish boundaries that help us to become kinder, and how to create a regular kindness practice.
Houston is proof that you can be both kind and strong.
When you’re feeling depressed, your brain will lie to you. It will work hard to convince you to do things that keep you stuck in a depressed state.
If you’ve battled depression, you are likely aware of the struggles that come with it. Your thoughts will be negative. You’ll feel bad—both emotionally and physically. And you'll have a hard time trying things that might help you feel better.
So on today’s Friday Fix, I describe my favorite exercise for combating depression. It can help you feel better and grow stronger.
Steve Francis is a three-time NBA All-Star who played for the Houston Rockets, the Orlando Magic, and the New York Knicks. He was so dominant on the court that he earned the nickname "Franchise." He’s known for his speed, fancy ball-handling skills, and extreme dunks.
Steve’s rise to NBA stardom wasn’t an easy one, however. He overcame much adversity in his childhood.
Unlike some NBA players who had plenty of money and parental support growing up, Steve grew up in poverty. For a while, he even resorted to selling drugs. But he was determined to change his life around, and he shares the strategies that helped him turn the adversity he experienced into an advantage.
The way you talk to yourself matters. Your inner dialogue can either inspire and motivate you to do your best or it can be the one thing that stands between you and living your best life.
For some reason, we think harsh self-criticism will help us do better. We’re afraid to cut ourselves some slack or to use kind words after we’ve messed up.
We call ourselves names, put ourselves down, and try to talk ourselves out of doing hard things.
But a harsh inner critic does more harm than good. Studies consistently show self-compassion is the key to feeling and doing your best.
So today I’m sharing a question that can help you treat yourself with more kindness. Just ask yourself this one thing to develop a healthier inner dialogue.
John Tesh is a musician, radio host, TV show host, and author. His impressive resume includes job titles like news anchor and host for the Olympics as well as host of Entertainment Tonight and creator of the NBA theme song. He’s won six Emmys, been nominated for two GRAMMYs, and has four Gold albums. He has also been awarded an Associated Press award for his investigative journalism.
He’s written several books, including his most recent one which is called Relentless: Unleashing a Life of Purpose, Grit, and Faith. John overcame a lot of obstacles in life, including being suspended from college, being homeless, and facing a grim health prognosis.
In this episode, he shares how to motivate yourself when you're struggling, how to use visualization in a helpful way, and the one kind of list everyone should create for themselves.
Sometimes a slight shift in the way you establish a goal can greatly increase your chances of success.
Setting a goal like, “I’m going to lose three pounds a week,” or “I’m going to pay off $500 in debt this month,” aren’t actually good goals to set.
Sure, they’re measurable. But they involve a sort of all-or-nothing mentality. And a "success versus failure" mindset can zap your motivation and cause you to quit.
So today I’m going to teach you the science behind goal setting.
I’m sharing a secret formula for establishing a goal that can motivate you to succeed. In fact, when you set a goal like this, studies show you’ll probably exceed your expectations.
It’s not just studies that convince me it’s effective. I’ve seen this simple strategy work well in my therapy office as well as in my own life.
Felicia "The FeeNom" Spencer is a math teacher turned UFC fighter. After winning the Invicta Featherweight Championship, she went on to continued success in the UFC, taking on some of the elite fighters of all time (including Amanda Nunes and Cris Cyborg).
Felicia offers some great tips that can apply to anyone who wants to face challenges, test their limits, and step outside their comfort zones.
As the pandemic continues to rage on, everyone is tired. We are all tired of uncertainty, tired of anxiety-provoking headlines, and tired of social distancing.
It can be easy to get caught up in some unhealthy habits that will drain you of mental strength right now. So today I'm talking about healthy coping skills.
Some of the things I share include the two kinds of coping skills everyone needs, the best strategies for managing uncomfortable emotions, and how to recognize unhealthy coping skills that may be creating bigger problems in the long term.
“There's just always something that you can do that gets you 1% closer. “
Amy talks to professional gymnast and former WWE star turned fitness trainer Stacey Ervin, Jr. Some of the things Stacey shares include strategies for developing self-discipline, the tricks he uses to stay on track, and how to deal with negative self-talk.
- Are you struggling to raise mentally strong kids right now?
- Do you worry that your kids won’t have the emotional skills they need to succeed in life?
- Are you concerned that some of your parenting habits might be setting a bad example for your kids?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, you’re going to want to tune in to this episode. I’m sharing how to give up the unhealthy yet common parenting habits that are draining kids of the mental strength they need to reach their greatest potential.
As a psychotherapist and a foster parent, I’ve seen firsthand how parenting habits directly affect the way kids think, feel, and behave. And while you may have many healthy parenting habits already, you might also have a few unhealthy habits that could use a little tweaking—you might not even recognize that they’re doing them.
A few little changes could make a big difference to your child’s overall wellbeing. Based on my best-selling book, here are the 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do.
Amy interviews Lori Gottlieb, psychotherapist and author of The New York Times Best-Selling book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. Lori also writes a regular column for The Atlantic called “Dear Therapist.”
Some of the things Lori shares include the difference between pain and suffering, how to change the conversations you have with yourself, and how to make your emotional health a bigger priority in your life.
It’s normal to feel anxious, sad, nervous, scared, or disappointed — along with many other uncomfortable emotions. Sometimes it’s healthy to embrace these emotions. Experiencing them may help you heal.
But it’s not healthy to stay stuck in a dark place. When your emotions aren’t serving you well, it’s important to have healthy coping skills that can help you regulate your emotions so you can feel better.
And while going for a walk might help one person feel better after a rough day at the office, someone else might find reading a book is the perfect pick-me-up.
In today’s episode, I’ll teach you how to identify your own personal mood boosters. These strategies will help you feel better when you need to cheer yourself up or calm yourself down.
It’s an exercise I’ve used with many people in my therapy office over the years. It’s a simple but effective way to create a toolbox of strategies that you can try the next time you want to feel a little better.
Tony Succar is a recording artist, songwriter, and producer. In 2019, he won two Latin GRAMMYs — one for “Best Salsa Album” and one for being “Producer of the Year.”
Tony is well-known for a project he did called Unity: The Latin Tribute to Michael Jackson. And he’s gone on to create lots of great music since then, including his GRAMMY-winning album Mas De Mi.
Like many people in the music world, Tony experiences pressure to work all the time. And even though he has experienced a lot of great things in the music industry, he acknowledges there are some tough times too.
One of the many things I appreciated about my conversation with Tony is that he doesn’t pretend like he has everything all figured out. Even though he’s mentally strong, he acknowledges he’s a work in progress. He continues to struggle with being a “workaholic” — something I think a lot of people can relate to these days.
Some of the things Tony shares include how to deal with guilty feelings, how to reach out for help when you need it, and why it's important to surround yourself with positive people.
What you think right before you make a sales call or the things that run through your head right before you walk into a party affect how you act. And these conversations you have with yourself can determine whether you close a deal, reach your goals, or have fun.
Today I'm sharing how to have a conversation with yourself that will help you succeed. No matter what you’re doing, this little exercise will help you perform at your peak.
It’s a trick elite athletes use. But you don’t have to be an NBA star to use it. It can help you do anything better—like negotiate a raise or give a presentation.
Darryl Strawberry spent 17 years playing major league baseball for the New York Mets and then the Yankees. He was an 8-time All-Star and 4-time World Series champion.
But he got into some trouble over the years. He struggled with addiction and served time in prison.
Fortunately, he turned his life around, and he's doing well now. In today's episode, he talks about why he struggled with addiction, how he transformed his life, and the steps he's taking to stay mentally strong.
Most New Year's resolutions fail. Yet most people continue to establish resolutions year after year hoping that somehow this will be the year that they actually create change.
Today, I'll explain why most resolutions don't work. And I'll give you the tools you need to make this year's resolution different.
I’m sharing five resolutions that will help you build mental strength in 2021. You can perform these alongside other resolutions (like ones that will help you get healthier or improve your relationships), or you could make one (or more) of these a stand-alone resolution.
The good news is that all five are pretty quick, simple, and easy to do. And I bet once you start doing them, you’ll actually like them. But more importantly they'll help you grow stronger and become better.
Andrea Bonior is a clinical psychologist, college professor, and best-selling author. She also writes a weekly column for The Washington Post called “Baggage Check” where she offers great advice for her readers.
She’s the author of an amazing book called Detox Your Thoughts. It’s full of helpful, actionable tips for dealing with unhelpful ways of thinking.
Andrea is really good at taking complex scientific principles and breaking them down into helpful tips. I invited her on the show to share some of the strategies that can help us develop a healthier inner monologue.
Some of the things we talk about in this episode include how to reach your goals without depending on willpower, strategies to deal with unhelpful thoughts, and coping skills that will help you deal with uncomfortable emotions.
While some professional athletes lose their purpose in life when their career ends, that wasn't the case for Tim Hightower. Since retiring from the NFL, he's living his purpose. And today he's sharing how other people can find their purpose too.
Some of the things we talk about are how to discover your purpose, why it's important to have meaning in your life, and how to find a community of people who believe in you.
While this time of year can be filled with happiness and love for some people, it can also be the loneliest, saddest time for others.
When you don’t have family to spend the holidays with—and a lot of people are finding themselves in that situation this year because of the pandemic—it can be tough.
Of course, it’s not just the holidays that are sparking increased feelings of loneliness. The year of social distancing has made for a lot of lonely people. Even people who are surrounded by their families all day long are feeling lonelier than ever.
So I thought it would be a good idea to spend this episode tackling loneliness. Whether you’re feeling lonely right now in this stage of your life or it’s been an ongoing problem that you experienced long before the pandemic, this episode is for you.
Have you struggled to deal with a breakup? Do you feel like your broken heart can't be repaired? If so, this episode is for you.
Amy interviews Amy Chan, the author of Breakup Bootcamp, about the scientific ways to heal a broken heart. They discuss why we're attracted to certain people, the things you shouldn't do after a relationship ends, and the steps you can take to heal when your heart is broken.
Do you ever get something stuck in your head and can’t stop thinking about it? When it’s something like a song, it might just feel a little annoying.
But when it’s an unpleasant event that you keep rehashing or a catastrophic outcome that you keep imagining, overthinking will take a toll on your mental health.
Thinking about negative things can cause you to feel bad. And the worse you feel, the more likely you are to keep dwelling on the negative. It’s a vicious cycle that can be hard to break.
So in today’s Friday Fix, I’m sharing one of my favorite exercises from my therapy office that can help you stop overthinking. This quick exercise can help you stop ruminating, and it can improve your mental health.
If you tend to replay conversations in your head over and over again or overthink an email to the point that it takes forever to hit send, this episode is for you.
Amy interviews Ty Tashiro about how to deal with feeling socially awkward. Ty has a PhD in psychology, he gave a very popular TED Talk, and he’s the author of a great book called Awkward.Ty shares the science behind why some people are socially awkward. He also talks about how to deal with embarrassing moments, what to say to yourself when you're dreading a social event, and how to mentally prepare for a dreaded social situation
Negative thoughts aren’t always a bad thing. Aknowledging that you made a mistake can be healthy.
But some negative thoughts are irrational and unrealistic. They can cause you to feel bad and discourage you from taking any positive action.
Fortunately, you don’t have to believe everything you think. You can learn to recognize when your thoughts aren’t helpful, and then you can replace them with more realistic statements.
In today’s Friday Fix, I explain some simple steps you can take when you have unrealistically negative (or BLUE) thoughts and replace them with true thoughts.
It’s a really easy but effective exercise for developing a healthier inner monologue. Once you start using it, you’ll likely be surprised to learn how many of your thoughts just aren’t healthy.
With practice, you can train your brain to work for you—rather than against you.
It’s been 20 years since the movie (starring Julia Roberts) that made Erin Brockovich a household name was in theaters. But in the meantime, she hasn’t relented in her environmental activism.
Erin has some excellent advice regarding standing up for what’s right, taking care of yourself, and tackling things that seem impossible. Even if you don’t plan on becoming an environmental activist, her advice is likely to be helpful in your own life.
Have you ever thought about the kind of person you’d like to be? Maybe you want to be a nicer person, a mentally stronger person, a healthier person, or a happier person.
But how do you get over the gap that stands between who you are now and the person you’d like to become?
In today’s Friday Fix, I share how to break through that barrier so you can become the person you’ve always wanted to be.
Tune in to the show and I’ll give you some real-life examples from my therapy office of people who have put this practice into place. I’ll share what they decided to do and how it worked for them.
Kara Goldin is the founder and CEO of Hint, the company that is best known for making unsweetened flavor water.
But her path to creating a successful product wasn’t an easy one. She was turned down, discouraged, and outright rejected along the way. But she persisted in creating a successful company.
She’s now also a best-selling author. Her book, Undaunted, is a Wall Street Journal Bestseller. In it, she shares how she overcame people who doubted her as well as her own self-doubt.
Amy talks to Kara about how to overcome self-doubt, how to deal with other people who doubt you, and the one question you should ask yourself when you're afraid to do something.
When you’re anxious, angry, or stressed out, your brain and body respond accordingly.
Your brain automatically looks for the negative. It’s your brain’s way of helping you detect more danger so it can keep you safe. But the more you dwell on the negative and overlook the positive, the more your feelings will intensify.
Your body will also attempt to help you respond to danger by ramping up. Your heart might beat faster. Your blood pressure might rise. And stress hormones get released throughout your body.
As your body responds, it sends an even bigger signal to your brain that you must be on high alert for danger.
Fortunately, there’s a simple but helpful exercise that can calm your brain and your body instantly. It takes less than 60 seconds, and it can send signals to your brain that it’s OK to calm down.
In today’s episode, I share the exercise and explain the science behind why it’s so effective.
Lisa Sharkey knows how to handle high-pressure situations. She worked for ABC News during the September 11th terrorist attacks. And she was also the senior producer for Good Morning America and Inside Edition. Now she's a senior vice president and director of creative development for HarperCollins Publishers, one of the biggest publishing houses in the world.
Amy interviews Lisa about how to stay mentally strong when you're in a high-pressure situation.
I've been studying mental strength since 2002. And the biggest lesson I've learned is that mental strength isn't always about what you do. Sometimes, what you don't do matters even more.
You need good habits to build mental muscle. But if you really want to see results, you have to also give up the bad habits that rob you of mental strength. Here are the 13 things mentally strong people don't do—and how you can stop these tempting yet counterproductive bad habits.
Amy interviews Dan Gable, the Olympic gold medal-winning wrestling champion. He ended his career with an astonishing 182 wins and only 1 loss. That loss motivated him to never lose again. He developed a mindset that helped him continue to succeed as a wrestler and later as a legendary coach.
He shares how to develop the mindset of a champion and his favorite strategies for staying mentally strong!
While there aren't any shortcuts to building mental strength, there are some exercises that can help you build mental muscle fast.
In today's Friday Fix, Amy shares a quick mental strength exercise that can help you become mentally stronger today. Science shows it can also improve your relationships, help you sleep better, and boost your happiness by 25%.
Amy talks to former Fifth Harmony member, Ally Brooke, about the struggles, emotional pain, and triumphs she's experienced throughout her personal and professional life. Ally opens up about seeing a therapist, how she finds inner strength when she needs it most, and the strategies that help her face her fears.
She also tells us all about her new book, Finding Your Harmony, her upcoming solo music, and a new movie!
No one wants to experience uncomfortable feelings like anxiety, sadness, loneliness, fear, or embarrassment. These feelings can be downright awful.
Sometimes, they can be harmful. At other times, they are helpful though. In fact, allowing yourself to feel uncomfortable emotions can be part of the healing process.
In today's Friday Fix, Amy shares a quick mental strength exercise that will help you discover how to recognize when you should change your feelings and when you should embrace them.
When bank robbers, kidnappers, and terrorists held someone hostage, the FBI called Chris Voss to negotiate their release. He knows how to get what he wants, and today he's sharing the skills that can help you become a better negotiator too. He and Amy discuss how to be a better communicator, how to prevent ego from ruining a deal, how to conquer the fear of negotiating, and much more
Have you ever questioned whether you should see a therapist? And after questioning it, have you talked yourself out of it? Have you wondered what it's like to see a therapist or what you're supposed to talk about it? If so, this episode is for you.
I'll give you a behind-the-scenes look at therapy. I explain how to know when you should talk to someone, how therapy works, and what to expect from seeing a therapist.
If you’ve been told you worry too much or that you’re a bit of an “overthinker,” this episode is for you.
I share a trick that can help you stop worrying so much. It has changed the lives of many of my therapy clients over the years.
It’s a science-backed strategy that really works. And it can be a huge improvement for people who are used to worrying almost 24/7.
Amy interviews Brad Stulberg, an expert in peak performance and emotional well-being. He’s a bestselling author, has a thriving life-coaching business, and hosts a popular podcast.
Brad also happens to have OCD. And while some professionals might be tempted to hide a fact like this (especially those who teach others how to manage anxiety), Brad is open about his struggles.
In this episode, he talks about his experience with OCD as well as the strategies that can help you perform at your best.
If you’ve watched the movie Miracle, you know who Mike Eruzione is. He was the captain of the 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team, and he scored the winning goal against the Soviets. The Soviets were expected to win the gold medal. They dominated hockey every year.
But the U.S. team pulled off a miracle! And today, Mike Eruzione explains how to go into a situation with the right mindset even when the odds are against you.
Whether you want to introduce a new healthy habit into your life or you want to get rid of a bad habit that is holding you back, this exercise can help! It takes less than 10 minutes and can increase your motivation and help you resist temptation.
When it comes to music, Motiff can do just about anything! He’s an artist, producer, DJ, and songwriter. He frequently works alongside musicians like Marc Anthony, Pitbull, Gloria Estefan, and Jennifer Lopez.
But his rise to success wasn’t an easy one. He moved to America from Venezuela as a child. He didn’t speak any English, and he had to help care for his father who was sick.
His parents weren’t pleased that he didn’t go to college. But he promised to deliver them a GRAMMY instead of a diploma. It took him 13 years to make it happen. But he did it! And now he’s sharing what he learned about creativity, curiosity, and success.
“Time heals nothing. It’s what you do with your time that matters.”
Three years after losing my mother, my 26-year-old husband died. I was a therapist. But the textbook material on grief I had to draw from wasn’t exactly helpful. So I set out to study mental strength by looking at how people who came into my therapy office dealt with their emotional wounds. And I discovered what made some people mentally stronger than others. In this episode, I’ll share my story and what I’ve learned about what it takes to be mentally strong.
Every Friday, I share a quick 10-minute mental strength secret that will help fix thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that keep you from being the strongest and best version of yourself.
- Do you avoid uncomfortable situations sometimes?
- Do you have trouble tolerating certain feelings, like sadness or anxiety?
- Do you ever try to numb or suppress your emotional pain?
If you answered yes to any of those questions, this episode is for you! I'm sharing a quick strategy that will help you manage an uncomfortable feeling in under one minute.
Danica McKellar is best known for her role as Winnie Cooper on The Wonder Years. And while she has continued her acting career, she's also made another whole career for herself teaching math to children. Her books are so popular that they've hit The New York Times Best Sellers list.
Amy talks to Danica about how she reinvented herself. Some of the mental strength-building strategies Danica shares include what boosts her mood when she's feeling depressed, how to find your purpose, and how to tackle giant goals.
Amy interviews Dan Harris about how meditation has helped him manage his anxiety and panic attacks. He also opens up about using cocaine to combat his depression after coming back from Iraq.
Although he was skeptical about meditation at first, he experienced a panic attack on Good Morning America that helped him realize he needed to make some changes in his life. He stopped using drugs, started taking better care of himself, and launched a daily meditation practice.
He addresses some of the biggest misconceptions about meditation, shares the biggest benefits he's gained, and provides a quick step-by-step process for beginners to try meditation right now.
Amy interviews Heather Monahan, the best-selling author of Creating Confidence, about how to feel confident in any situation you face. Heather shares actionable tips for building healthy confidence in all areas of your life.
Tony Gaskins shares the biggest mistake men and women tend to make in relationships. Amy also talks to Tony about how both men and women can build the mental strength they need to have healthy relationships and the strategies that can help everyone become mentally stronger.
Amy talks to Thomas Brag, one of the guys from Yes Theory (who got Will Smith to bungee jump out of a helicopter). He makes a living by challenging himself to do difficult things and then sharing those challenges on YouTube. Thomas shares how to seek discomfort, manage anxiety, and face your fears head-on.
Amy talks to best-selling author and podcast host, Nora McInerny, about how toxic positivity causes more pain. Nora has gone through several losses in a short period of time. She shares how to embrace uncomfortable feelings rather than fight them so you can live a better life.
Amy talks to entrepreneur, best-selling author, and podcast host James Altucher about how to become better at generating new ideas in life. Once called "the most interesting man in the world" by Forbes magazine, James also shares how he experiments with different things in life to figure out what works best for him.
Amy talks to Latin GRAMMY award-winning producer Maffio about how he’s found happiness and inner peace. He shares how he went from living in poverty as a child in the Dominican Republic to becoming a highly sought-after music producer and how he’s overcome some of the common battles many creative people in the music industry face — anxiety and substance use. We discuss dealing with grief, and we talk about having tough conversations with loved ones. He’s sharing the mental strength strategies that have helped him create the type of family life he always dreamed of.
Make sure to stick around for the therapist's take. This is the part of the episode where I weigh in on how Maffio's strategies can help you become mentally stronger as well.