The Christian Habits Podcast: Recent Episodes
Barb Raveling
Do you ever feel like you can’t change no matter how hard you try? On the Christian Habits Podcast, we’ll talk about biblical transformation through the renewing of the mind. This is a practical, hands-on podcast that will help you break free from the things that control you: things like bad habits, idolatry, overeating, and negative emotions such as worry, insecurity, anger, and stress. We'll also talk about how to develop a close relationship with God and how to pursue goals while still keeping God first in our lives.
Do you keep reaching for your phone... or the pantry... even when you don't really want to?
In this video, I'll share three biblical strategies that can help you break free from unhealthy food and phone habits. We'll talk about why these habits are so difficult to overcome today, how to make temptation easier to resist, and why lasting change happens as God renews our minds.
Do you ever feel like you can't relax until you get caught up? Maybe you're looking at a long to-do list, unfinished projects, family responsibilities, or upcoming events and thinking, If I could just get everything done, then I could relax.
But what if peace doesn't come from getting caught up? What if it comes from walking with God in the middle of all the unfinished tasks?
In this episode, we'll look at the lie, "I'll have peace when I finally get caught up." We'll look at the practical and spiritual truth for the lie, a Bible verse for the lie, and a practical tool you can use when you're stressed.
Worry can feel impossible to overcome because we can't control the things we're worried about. In this video, I'll share three renewing-the-mind techniques I use when anxiety, fear, and worry keep circling through my thoughts.
I include examples for how to stop worrying about your kids, your decisions, and what's happening in the world.
Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night, worrying about someone or something? Do you replay worst-case scenarios over and over again, trying to figure everything out so you can finally feel at peace? Or maybe your worry doesn't always feel dramatic—but instead shows up as low-grade stress that drives you to your phone, food, busyness, or distraction. In this episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, we'll discuss 5 things you can do when you can't stop worrying.
Have you ever had something you were really looking forward to… and it just didn't turn out the way you hoped? In this podcast and video, I share a simple, biblical way to respond when life doesn't live up to expectations—so you can move from disappointment to peace.
Have you ever wondered:
"I've been a Christian for years… why am I still struggling with this?"
Maybe there's a habit you can't seem to break. Or an emotion that keeps showing up—anxiety, anger, insecurity, envy, or discouragement.
Many of us want to change, but we're not sure how. And sometimes we even know how to renew our minds—but we can't seem to make ourselves do it consistently.
In this short episode, I introduce a brand new 4-part YouTube series called How to Renew Your Mind So You Can Actually Change. In the series, I explain what renewing the mind really means and share practical tools you can use to partner with God for real change.
If you'd like to watch the first video in the series, you can find it on YouTube by searching:
"Barb Raveling renew your mind."
Over the next few weeks, I also invite you to join me in a simple renewing-your-mind project. Choose one area of your life where you'd like to see change—an emotion, a habit, or a situation that keeps upsetting you—and begin noticing the thoughts that go through your mind when that struggle appears.
When the emotion rises or the urge for the habit shows up, pause and ask yourself:
"What am I thinking right now?"
That awareness is the first step in renewing your mind.
New videos in the series will release each Saturday, and I hope you'll follow along as we learn to partner with God for transformation.
What if clutter isn't just about having too much stuff—but about what's quietly pulling us away from the things that matter most to us? In today's episode, I visit with Joshua Becker, bestselling author and founder of Becoming Minimalist, about how clutter affects our lives and our faith.
We explore why change feels so hard, how clutter quietly distracts us from spiritual growth, and why Jesus' teachings on possessions are an invitation—not a burden.
If you've ever felt stuck, distracted, or weighed down by "too much"—this conversation you and give you practical next steps.
Do you ever feel like you're trying to love someone well—but it doesn't seem to be working? Maybe you're putting in effort, but the other person still feels distant, unappreciated, or unexcited about the relationship. In this episode, I talk with Dr. Gary Chapman about why that happens, how love languages go deeper than we often realize, and what actually helps people feel truly loved. Gary gives practical advice for improving all types of relationships.
Have you ever felt like change just isn't possible for you?
In this episode, we talk about the lie "I'll never change"—why it feels so true, where it comes from, and what the Bible says instead. We'll explore how God brings transformation gradually, why slow progress still matters, and how to stay hopeful when growth feels frustrating.
This episode is for anyone who's tired of trying, discouraged by past failure, or quietly wondering if this is just how life will always be.
You'll also have a change to renew your mind about this lie while you're listening to the podcast through Scripture meditation, truth journaling, and the Hopelessness questions from the Renewing of the Mind Project.
If you've ever started a new year full of hope only to feel discouraged weeks later, this episode is for you. We unpack the belief "this year will be different," why it usually doesn't work, and what actually helps change stick. You'll hear practical ideas, spiritual perspective, and encouragement for taking a slower, wiser, and more grace-filled approach to your goals this year.
Full show notes and links at barbraveling.com.
If you've ever thought "it shouldn't be this hard to change," this episode will encourage you. In today's episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, we'll look at where this lie comes from, why real change feels so difficult, and what the Bible says about transformation. I'll also walk you through practical questions you can use to renew your mind and find hope in your struggle.
Do you ever feel like your desires are calling the shots in your daily decisions? In this episode, we tackle the lie: "I want this… so I should have it." We'll look at why desire can't be your decision-maker, how culture feeds this mindset, and what Scripture says about living by design instead of impulse. As you listen, you'll have a chance to renew your mind and learn practical ways to say no to the habits that keep pulling you off track.
Do you ever set goals and fail to reach them? On today’s podcast, we’ll discuss ten tips to help you achieve your goals. I’ve asked my friend and fellow podcaster/author, Dr. Melanie Wilson, to help me with this episode as she is the master at completing goals!
I also share about my new course on how to overcome procrastination. You can find out more about that here: How to Stop Procrastinating Course.
Tips to Help You Achieve Your Goals 1. Develop a routine. 2. Make it easy. 3. Make a plan for dealing with obstacles. 4. Find ways to make it fun 5. Keep your why in front of you. 6. Let go of perfectionism. 7. Be a good coach to yourself. 8. Renew your mind when necessary. 9. Gain support. 10. Conquer procrastination.
Resources We Talked About on the Podcast * Barb's Conquer Procrastination Course: barbraveling.com/procrastinate * Melanie's blog: homeschoolsanity.com * Melanie's podcast: The Homeschool Sanity Show * Melanie's book: A Year of Living Productively * Freedom from Procrastination
We all experience low points in life; we try our very best to avoid them, but they come anyway! We recoil from the pain, the disappointments, and the difficulties that we face. However, what would happen if we viewed these trials as invitations to experience God? My guest today on the Christian Habits Podcast, Strahan Coleman, has learned to do just that through his many years of chronic illness. Moment by moment, God will meet us in our pain.
What We Discussed on the Podcast * The surprising reason that we have desires * A unique perspective on the essential meaning of life * The place where we find our greatest opportunity to love and to receive God's love * The mindset shift that casts our pain in a new light * What to do with our negative emotions * A new way to think about repentance and confession * The "wound of love"
Resources We Mentioned on the Podcast * Thirsting: Quenching Our Soul’s Deepest Desire * Beholding: Deepening Our Experience in God * Beholding Prayer Podcast on Apple and Spotify
About Strahan Coleman Strahan Coleman is a writer, poet, and musician living in Aotearoa, New Zealand with his wife and three young boys. Through years of chronic illness, Strahan discovered a friendship with God filled with vulnerability, honesty and unceasing prayer, and now spends his time teaching and providing spaces of deep, rich, Spirit-led prayer for others through his books, prayer schools and spiritual retreats. In his latest work, Thirsting: Quenching Our Soul’s Deepest Desire, Strahan invites his readers to, like him, learn to transform the ache of our lives into our truest prayers, liberating the fire within us to become our greatest gift - our divine homing beacon. Connect with Strahan Coleman at commonerscommunion.com, on Instagram: @commoners_communion, @strahanmusic, or on Spotify.
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on YouTube: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Most of us realize that our screens are consuming us. We know we should cut back on our screen-time but are at a loss for how to start. My guest on the Christian Habits Podcast today, Hannah Brencher, started off with a 1,000 hour screen-free challenge, and she hasn't looked back since this pivotal life-change. Hannah gives practical tips as well as inspiration to start putting down our phones and re-discovering the world around us!
What We Discussed on the Podcast * What going "unplugged" actually means * The unexpected outcomes of Hannah's screen-free challenge * What prompted the writing of this book * How to practice presence * Some inspiring thoughts on contentment and productivity * Practical tips to and ways to begin putting down our screens
Resources We Mentioned on the Podcast * The Unplugged Hours: Cultivating a Life of Presence in a Digitally Connected World * The Aro App - Screen-time solution for families
About Hannah Brencher Hannah Brencher is a writer, TED speaker, and entrepreneur. She founded The World Needs More Love Letters, a global community dedicated to sending letter bundles to those who need encouragement. Named as one of the White House’s “Women Working to Do Good,” Hannah has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Oprah, Glamour, USATODAY.com, the Chicago Tribune, and more. She lives in Atlanta with her husband, Lane, and daughter Novalee. Find Hannah at hannahbrencher.com. Connect with Hannah on Instagram, Facebook,or Pinterest.
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on YouTube: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
So many of us today are looking for ways to cope with the pressures of life. Instead of going to God, we turn to our phones, food, shopping, or even alcohol. Such was the case with Christy Osborne, my guest on the Christian Habits Podcast. Christy talks about her journey to sobriety and the choice to live without alcohol in her new book Love Life Sober. Even if you do not struggle specifically with alcohol, you will hear many helpful ways to deal with any addiction.
What We Discussed on the Podcast * How Christy assigned alcohol different "jobs" in her life * The many ways that becoming alcohol-free has changed Christy's life for the better * Why Christy recommends the "experiment approach" when considering sobriety * How to overcome addiction without willpower * The surprising links between wine and disease * Christy's defiance against "Mommy Wine Culture" * How wine and alcohol addiction takes more than it gives
Resources We Mentioned on the Podcast * Christy's new book Love Life Sober * Christy's website * Christy on Instagram * What Alcohol Does to Your Body, Brain & Health - Huberman Lab Podcast
About Christy Osborne Christy Osborne, author of Love Life Sober, is a graduate of the University of Southern California and attended law school at Pepperdine University. After passing the California bar exam, Christy relocated to London and assumed various roles in law, public relations, and business development. She founded a popular website for American expat women and became a royal commentator on SKY News in the UK. Christy discovered her true calling when she chose sobriety and began openly advocating for it on social media. As a highly trained senior sobriety coach featured in/by Marie Claire, Newsweek, The Daily Mail,Yahoo, PBS, London Daily News, Hip & Healthy, and more, she empowers women throughout the US and UK to redefine their relationship with alcohol. Visit her at LoveLifeSober.com. Connect with Christy on Instagram.
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on YouTube: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Have you thought to yourself: I'll never get over this? Have you tried over and over again to get out from underneath the control of a habit or a sin in your life only to be discouraged once again? If so, you will be greatly encouraged by my interview with Kirby Kelly about overcoming temptation which is the subject of her book: You Can Be Free: Overcoming Temptation and Habitual Sin by the Power and Promises of the Gospel. You, too, can find freedom from your habits and addictions!
What We Discussed on the Podcast * How Kirby's picturesque home was not all that it seemed * Kirby's personal struggle with habitual sin and how she finally overcame it * How these specific tactics of the enemy are always the same * Kirby's "battle plan" for temptation * The "super-human / sub-human" cycle * The importance of confession within community
Resources We Mentioned on the Podcast * You Can Be Free: Overcoming Temptation and Habitual Sin by the Power and Promises of the Gospel * Bought + Beloved (Kirby's podcast) * Connect with Kirby Kelly at her YouTube channel, Instagram, and TikTok
About Kirby Kelly Kirby Kelly is a Christ-centered content creator and influencer. She runs the Bought + Beloved podcast along with content on her YouTube channel, Instagram, and TikTok. She uploads weekly content that inspires, encourages, and teaches people the Truth of the Bible and how to cultivate a relationship with Jesus. Her passion is teaching God's truth everywhere she goes; on stages and in front of cameras, through writing and one-on-one conversations. Kirby desires to see this generation and culture flourish in freedom and confidence in their identity and to walk in the victory that has been won on the Cross. kirby-kelly.com
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on YouTube: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Many singles today spend their lives regretting past mistakes, relationship failures, or worrying about what their future may (or may not) hold. However, God's plan for every single - actually, married people, too - is to live their lives for Him, right now, in the present! My guest today, Ryan Wekenman, has a beautiful yet very real perspective on his own singleness, as well as the needful spiritual formation of those he ministers to. This episode is for all Christians! We will be discussing Ryan's new book, Single Today: Conquer Yesterday's Regrets, Ditch Tomorrow's Worries, and Thrive Right Where You Are.
What We Discussed on the Podcast * Two enemies of singleness * The "Tomorrow Trap" * How to show up with a win at events where you might struggle with your current station in life * The power of "naming it" * A grounding strategy when we find ourselves getting too self-focused * How to be present in every day, where you are, right now * Ways to be intentional about building your community
Online Philippians Bible Study I'd also like to invite you to our online Philippians Bible study, which begins May 15. We'll be covering the following lessons in that Bible study.
Wednesday mornings classes: 9 am PST, 10 am MST, 11 am CST, 12 pm EST
- May 15 – Lesson 2: Loving When It’s Hard to Love
- May 29 – Lesson 6: People Pleasing, Self-Pleasing, and God-Pleasing
- June 12 – Lesson 15: Letting Go of Anxiety
Tuesday evenings classes: 5 pm PST, 6 pm MST, 7 pm CST, 8 pm EST * May 21 – Lesson 4: Letting Go of Idols * June 4 – Lesson 11: Finding Your Identity in Christ * June 18 – Lesson 16: Learning to Be Content
Click here for more info on the study and to sign up for it: Philippians Online Bible Study
Resources We Mentioned on the Podcast * Single Today: Conquer Yesterday's Regrets, Ditch Tomorrow's Worries, and Thrive Right Where You Are * Ryan's website * Ryan's podcasts: Stories in Scripture, Afterthoughts, and Single Today * Philippians Bible Study * Philippians Online Bible Study Sign Up Page
Ryan Wekenman is a storyteller and pastor who is passionate about finding creative ways to help people explore life’s biggest questions. He has a master’s degree from Talbot School of Theology. He is the co-host of two podcasts, Stories in Scripture, a show that brings the Bible to life for people all around the world, and Afterthoughts, a weekly conversation about faith, culture, and the church. Ryan is the teaching pastor of Red Rocks Austin, a young, vibrant church he helped start with a few of his best friends. He lives in Austin, Texas. Connect with Ryan at his website, or on Instagram.
How to Listen to the Podcast: * To listen or subscribe on YouTube: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Today is the day! My Philippians Bible study from the Closer to God Bible Studies series is now available. Philippians is one of my favorite New Testament books of the Bible. The beauty of it is that Paul is writing from prison and teaching Christians wonderful lessons such as how to find contentment in any circumstance, always putting God first, and making our lives about Him. This is a book to study in any season of life! We flip things around today on the Christian Habits Podcast (links below), and instead of interviewing someone else, I am the one being interviewed about my new book.
What We Discussed on the Podcast * Why I wrote a study over a book of the Bible rather than a specific topic * How this series was birthed to solve a problem in my own life * The significance of the name of the series * How this study is different than many others * Who this book is geared towards and different ways to approach the study * How my passion to see the church mature and become more Christ-like continues to drive me to write and teach others
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast * My new Philippians Bible Study * My Closer to God Bible Study Series * How to Diagram Scripture - YouTube * Friendship Counseling by Kevin Huggins * Novel Marketing Podcast with Thomas Umstattd Jr.
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on YouTube: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
In today's culture, there is a mental health crisis. So many are looking for answers, yet much of the advice given does not provide sustainable relief. However, we know that the only way to true and lasting peace is to know the Prince of Peace! On the Christian Habits Podcast today (links below), my guest, Christopher Cook discusses this very topic and his new book Healing What You Can't Erase.
What We Discussed on the Podcast * The culture's current mental health crisis * Common advice that simply doesn't work * "Anxiety is just an alarm." What does this statement mean? * What is true peace? * What are practical ways to fix our focus on Jesus? * How the process of transformation happens * Christopher's S.E.E.D. strategy for dealing with intrusive thoughts
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast * Healing What You Can't Erase by Christopher Cook * Pre-Order Bonuses for Christopher's new book * Win Today podcast with Christopher Cook * Philippians Bible Study by Barb Raveling - pre-order today! * James Transformation Bible Study
Christopher Cook is a leadership coach, author, and podcast host focused on transformation and wholeness. With an aptitude for strategy and execution, his ability to unearth clarity out of complexity drives his mission to help individuals and organizations thrive in their true identity. His work has appeared in outlets such as SUCCESS Magazine, and he has spent over a decade coaching leaders in both the marketplace and non-profit sectors. His weekly podcast, Win Today with Christopher Cook, equips wellness-minded listeners to move beyond the limitations of self-help, and instead, toward an integrated life of wholeness from the inside out. Pulling from his own experiences with adversity and personal transformation, these efforts, embodied by his passion for mental health, emotional health, and spiritual maturity, along with his educational credentials in business administration, leadership, and ministry, have led to helping people experience healing and transformation in their spirit, mind, and body.
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on YouTube: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Do you ever feel distant from God? Do you long to be close to Him? In today's episode of the Christian Habits Podcast we'll talk about 14 practical things you can do to get closer to God.
Before we look at ways to get closer to God, though, I thought it might be helpful to give some questions we can use to think about our relationship with Him:
- What would it look like to have a close walk with God?
- Is a consistently close walk with God possible?
- Why do you want a close walk with God?
- What is one thing that keeps you from having a close walk with God?
- What is one step you could take to have a close walk with God?
The more intentional we are about our relationships, the better those relationships will be. Let's look at some practical things we can do to get closer to God.
14 Practical Ways to Get Closer to God We'll go more into depth in the podcast, but I wanted to include some of the resources below that we talked about on the podcast also the 10 ways to get close to God in case you don't have time to listen to the podcast.
- Find something you enjoy doing with Him. If you dread your quiet time, you won't want to do them. In the past, I didn't feel like doing quiet times because I thought they were boring. I found something I enjoyed doing, though, and all of a sudden I wanted to do my quiet times. Some of the ideas we talk about on the podcast are truth journaling, Scripture meditation, the Examen app, topical Bible studies, and any of these renewing of the mind activities. Don't worry about beginning with something simple, as you can always progress later to more Bible reading, etc. The key in the beginning is to establish the habit.
- Meet with God each day during the time of day that you're most alert. The advice we usually hear on this topic is to have your quiet time as soon as you wake up. That works for me and for many others, but it doesn't work for everyone. If you're a person who has more energy or self-control later in the day, it may be better to schedule your devotional time for that time of day. If you struggle with discipline in quiet times like I did for twenty years, try journaling through these questions and Bible verses.
- Do a "closeness check" at the beginning of your time together. In the past, I used to begin each quiet time with a closeness check. I'd ask, "Am I feeling close to God?" If the answer was no, I'd think back to the previous day to see if there was anything I needed to talk to God about. I'd confess any sin that I needed to confess (often heart sin such as bad attitudes) and work through anything I needed to work through with Him. We'll talk more about the reasons for not feeling close (sin, idolatry, and not accepting what you need to accept) in the podcast and what you can do about it.
- Believe that He loves you. Have you ever been in a relationship in which the person actually loved you, but for some reason you felt like they didn't love you? When this happens to us, it makes us not trust that person or feel close to them. The same thing happens when we feel like God doesn't love us. If you feel like He doesn't love you right now, try praying through the following Bible verses and picture God doing the things He says He'll do in those verses. The first couple of times I tried this, it was transformative: Insecurity Bible verses, 1 John 1:9.
- Work on letting go of your idols and sin. When we feel like we have to have certain things to be happy, it interferes with our relationship with God. So does sin. It's impossible to completely get rid of sin and idols, but the more progress we make in those areas, the closer we'll feel to God. Here are a couple of posts/blog series that will help: How to Break Free from Idolatry and How to Break a Habit.
- Carve out a weekly (Sabbath) and/or monthly "date time" with Him. I don't know about you, but it's easy for me to get so caught up in life that I forget that life is really about God, not the other things I'm caught up in! Having a weekly Sabbath where I don't do any work and a monthly (or every two months) "date time" with God (which I explain more fully on the podcast) both help me keep Him first in my life and feel close to Him.
- Be thankful. Do you remember when the Israelites were grumbling in the desert after Moses led them out of Egypt? All of their grumbling distanced them from God and it does for us as well. The more we dwell on the good of God Himself and the blessings He has already given us, the more thankful we'll be--and the closer to God we'll feel. This post has some verses to help with thankfulness!
- Spent time listening to God. John Mark Comer talked about this in his new book, Practicing the Way, and we also visit about that on the 1/16/24 episode of the Christian Habits Podcast.
- Develop a prayer rhythm throughout the day. We see Daniel doing this in the Bible when he prayed three times a day. Meeting with God throughout the day will help us be aware of His presence and make us feel closer to Him.
- Go to God for help with negative emotions each day. I talk about this more on the podcast and give some examples of what that looks like.
- Don't spend too much time on social media, news, Netflix, or phone surfing. When we're constantly on our phones or watching television, we're often filling our minds with both a cultural perspective and negative emotions as we feel anger, worry, envy, and all sorts of things when we see what's happening in the world or what others are doing. The problem is that these emotions and message enter at lightening speed and we don't process them. It's easy for them to draw us away from God if we're not careful.
- Join a home group or Bible study. This is another tip I discovered after beginning a lifestyle where we didn't live in places long enough to have a home group or Bible study. (My husband is a travel physical therapist so we move every three months.) I didn't realize how important our home groups were for building me up in my faith.
- Go to church each week. I'll talk more about this in the podcast but I discovered this tip after being thrown into a lifestyle where we didn't go to church every week. If we miss out on church regularly, we can still be in the Word and listen to sermons online and even watch church online. But here's what we can't do: join other believers in person as we worship God together. There is power in worshipping God together through song and prayer. Not to mention being encouraged by others (Hebrews 10:25) and hearing some great teaching.
- Go to God for help with major life changes. Learn how to be content in this new life, love well in this new life, and be close to God in this new life. Why? Because when you enter into a new life stage you discover new weaknesses, new tendencies toward idolatry, and new reasons to be discontent - even if they're GOOD life changes.
My prayer for all of us is that God will help us have the discipline and desire to do some of the things that will draw us closer to Him. He loves us and wants to be in a relationship with us. That's such a huge blessing. Does one of the above steps stand out to you as something you'd like to try doing? If so, I hope you'll give that a try.
Additional Resources Mentioned on the Podcast * James Transformation Bible Study
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on YouTube: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Do you find yourself simply going through the motions in your Christian walk? Do you long for a deeply intentional and powerful relationship with God? If so, you will inspired and challenged by this episode of The Christian Habits Podcast (links below). My guest today, John Mark Comer, talks about a whole-life, immersive approach to your faith found in his new book, Practicing the Way.
What We Discussed on the Podcast * The difference a Christian and an apprentice of Jesus * How fierce intentionality in your walk with Jesus changes everything * The keystone habits of a practicing Christian * One powerful way to overcome temptation and sin * What a Rule of Life is and why the ancients practiced it * The practice of contemplative prayer
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast * Practicing the Way: Be with Jesus. Become like him. Do as he did. by John Mark Comer * The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry * Live No Lies
About John Mark Comer John Mark Comer is the New York Times bestselling author of seven books including The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry and Live No Lies as well as being a pastor, teacher, and founder of Practicing the Way. His latest book is Practicing the Way: Be with Jesus. Become like him. Do as he did. (a WaterBrook hardcover; on sale 1/16/24).
After serving as the lead pastor of Bridgetown Church in Portland, Oregon, for nearly two decades, John Mark and his family now reside in Los Angeles, where he serves as a teacher in residence on discipleship and spiritual formation at Vintage Church LA. His podcasts, John Mark Comer Teachings and Rule of Life, have been ranked on top religion and spirituality podcast charts in the US and UK. For more information visit johnmarkcomer.com and find him on Instagram .
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
It's easy to feel stressed, overwhelmed, and anxious when we focus on the turmoil in the world (or our own lives). Media and culture don't help because they are constantly feeding us worrisome things. However, there is hope! My guest on the podcast today, Brant Hansen, (links below) has an encouraging new book set to release in just two weeks: Life is Hard, God is Good, Let's Dance. Brant reminds us that we truly can have peace and abiding joy - no matter our circumstances - if Jesus is the center of our lives.
What We Discussed on the Podcast * How to become joyful when that isn't your natural bent * How to "outsource" our worries * What it truly means to be a disciple * How God's ways always lead to the best life * A technique beyond list-making to increase our gratitude * The importance of choosing the attitude of our heart
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast * Brant's newest book, Life is Hard, God is Good, Let's Dance - publishing January 16, 2024 * Barnes and Noble's pre-order sweepstakes * Other pre-order gifts from Thomas Nelson Publishing * Brant's other books * CURE International Children's Hospitals
BRANT HANSEN is a bestselling author, syndicated radio host and advocate for healing children with correctable disabilities through CURE International Children's Hospitals. His award-winning radio show, The Brant Hansen Show, airs on top stations in the U.S. and Canada. His podcast, The Brant and Sherri Oddcast, has been downloaded more than 15 million times. He has been named "Personality of the Year" multiple times by Christian Music Broadcasters and is called "Christian music 's most beloved radio personality" by Christian Voice Magazine. Brant writes about varied topics related to faith, including masculinity in his book, The Men We Need, and forgiveness in Unoffendable, about which he was recently interviewed on ABC's Good Morning America. Brant speaks often about being diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder as an adult. Brant also proudly refers to himself as a “toast-obsessed nerd’ who was no less than president of the Illinois Student Librarians Association in high school. He also plays the accordion, “in spite of popular demand.”
Connect with Brant at his website, Facebook, Instagram, and X (formerly Twitter).
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
If you're someone (like me) who has struggled for years to commit God's Word to memory, you will want to listen to my latest episode of The Christian Habits Podcast (links below). My guest, Glenna Marshall, has a new book out about the power and unexpected blessings of memorizing scripture. It has been life-changing for her, and as I am reading her book myself, I can already tell it will be life-changing for me!
What We Discussed on the Podcast * The reason that Glenna began memorizing scripture * The WHY behind scripture memorization * The brain science of repetition and memory * The case for memorization of long passages of scripture * Practical tips for memorizing * The "first letter" method * How to use habit stacking to increase memorization
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast * Memorizing Scripture: The Basics, Blessings and Benefits of Meditating on God's Word by Glenna Marshall * The Verses App
About Glenna Marshall GLENNA MARSHALL is a pastor's wife and mother of two energetic sons. She is the author of The Promise Is His Presence and Everyday Faithfulness. She writes regularly at GlennaMarshall.com on biblical literacy, suffering, and the faithfulness of God. She is a member of Grace Bible Fellowship in Sikeston, Missouri.
Find Glenna online at GlennaMarshall.com or on Instagram.
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Do stressful situations steal your peace? Have you allowed the disappointments in your life to keep you from feeling close to Jesus? Do you wish to experience the calm you feel in your quiet moments with God all throughout your day? In my interview on the Christian Habits Podcast (links below), Joni Eareckson Tada shares wisdom from her personal life experiences about learning to stay close to Jesus all throughout the day. We also discuss her newest book, The Practice of the Presence of Jesus.
What We Discussed on the Podcast * How a tragic accident early in Joni's life began to change her relationship with Jesus * Why Joni can be grateful for the suffering that she has endured * How to put up our spiritual antennae each day * How practicing the presence of Jesus takes the edge off of our pain * The pathway to joy in any situation * How learning to rely on the Lord is a rewarding discipline - but it takes practice
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast * The Practice of the Presence of Jesus by Joni Eareckson Tada * Other books by Joni Eareckson Tada * The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence * Joni and Friends
About Joni Eareckson Tada Joni Eareckson Tada is an esteemed Christian stateswoman and respected global leader in disability advocacy. Although a 1967 diving accident left her a quadriplegic, she emerged from rehabilitation with a determination to help others with similar disabilities. Mrs. Tada serves as CEO of Joni and Friends, a Christian organization which provides programs and services for thousands of special needs families around the world. President Reagan appointed Mrs. Tada to the National Council on Disability, then reappointed by President George H.W. Bush. During her tenure, the ADA was passed and signed into law. Mrs. Tada served as advisor to Condoleezza Rice on the Disability Advisory Committee to the U.S. State Department. She served as Senior Associate for Disability Concerns for the Lausanne Committee for World Evangelization. The Colson Center on Christian Worldview awarded Joni Tada its prestigious William Wilberforce Award, and she was also inducted into Indiana Wesleyan University’s Society of World Changers. Joni Eareckson Tada has been awarded several honorary degrees, including Doctor of Humanities from Gordon College and Doctor of Divinity from Westminster Theological Seminary. She is an effective communicator, sharing her inspirational message in books, through artwork, radio, and other media. Joni Tada served as General Editor of the Beyond Suffering Bible, a special edition published by Tyndale for people affected by disability. Joni and her husband Ken were married in 1982 and reside in Calabasas, California.
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Has the joy and peace in your life been replaced by stress and strife? Is your inner narrative filling you with thoughts of despair? Do you find yourself questioning God's goodness? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, you may be in the midst of a spiritual battle. My guest today on the Christian Habits Podcast (links below), Susie Larson, shares such valuable wisdom from her very personal experiences in spiritual warfare, and from her book Strong in Battle.
What We Discussed on the Podcast * How to discern the schemes of the enemy * The negative effect of apathy and passivity in the Christian life * Why it truly is that the "poor in spirit" inherit the Kingdom * How Susie's trials have taught her to aggressively contend for the promises of God * How to discern the signs that you may be in a spiritual battle * How the disappointments of life can lead us to believing lies about God * Three questions to ask when you are disappointed
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast * Strong in Battle: Why the Humble Will Prevail - Susie Larson * Fully Alive: Learning to Flourish - Mind, Body & Spirit - Susie Larson * Your Powerful Prayers: Reaching the Heart of God with a Bold and Humble Faith - Susie Larson * Susie Larson Live - Radio Broadcast & Podcast
SUSIE LARSON is a national speaker, a bestselling author, and the host of the daily talk show Susie Larson Live, heard on the Faith Radio Network. Susie has written twenty books and many articles. She’s been a guest on Focus on the Family, the Life Today show, FamilyLife Today, as well as many other media outlets. Twice voted a top-ten finalist for the John C. Maxwell Transformational Leadership Award, she is also a veteran of the fitness field. Susie has been married to her dear husband, Kevin, since 1985, and together they have three wonderful sons, three beautiful daughters-in-law, three beautiful grandchildren, and one adorable pit bull named Memphis. Susie’s passion is to see people everywhere awakened to the value of their soul, the depth of God’s love, and the height of their calling in Christ Jesus. Connect with Susie on Facebook, Instagram, or at SusieLarson.com.
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Marriage is hard, we all agree. And when a spouse has an addiction to pornography, a marriage can be stretched to its breaking point. However, when God is involved, there is always hope! On today's episode of the Christian Habits Podcast (links below), my guest, Dannah Gresh shares about this particular struggle in her own marriage which was the inspiration for her newest book, Happily Even After.
What We Discussed on the Podcast * The painful cycle of pornography addiction * How the effects of sexual sin are different than other sins * The essential action that is the doorway to healing in a marriage * The two choices we are faced with when confronting destructive addiction in marriage * How compassion for the addicted spouse begins the healing process * Dannah's recommendations regarding therapy for marriages in crisis
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast * Dannah's newest book, Happily Even After: Let God Redeem Your Marriage * Article about Montana Banning Tik-Tok that I referenced * ProtectYoungEyes.com
DANNAH GRESH is a best-selling author and sought-after speaker. Her best-selling titles include And the Bride Wore White, Lies Young Women Believe co-authored with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, and Lies Girls Believe. Dannah is the co-host of Revive Our Hearts, a daily podcast for women, and the founder of True Girl, which provides mom+daughter connection tools including the True Girl podcast.
Dannah has sold over 2 million books and reaches women and girls in more than 100 countries. She and her husband Bob live in State College, Pennsylvania on a small farm that could be confused as a petting zoo. Horses, llamas, peacocks, chickens, goats, dogs and cats abound. The family pastime is chasing whoever—or whatever—might be loose. Find Dannah online at dannahgresh.com.
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Are you going through a hard season right now? Does God feel silent? Sarah J. Hauser, my guest on the Christian Habits Podcast (links below), is no stranger to these difficulties. In our interview, she shares about her new book, All Who are Weary: Finding True Rest by Letting Go of the Burdens You were Never Meant to Carry, and about the difficult season she went through to learn the truths she writes about.
What We Discussed on the Podcast * Sarah's battle with depression * How a perfectionist mindset can manifest in unexpected (and harmful) ways * The antidote to perfectionism * How we should respond to God's offer of rest found in Matthew 11 * What we should do when God feels silent in our suffering * How trials often force us to examine what we truly believe about God
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast * All Who are Weary: Finding True Rest by Letting Go of the Burdens You were Never Meant to Carry by Sarah J. Hauser * The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom
About Sarah J. Hauser SARAH J. HAUSER is a writer and speaker living in the
Chicago suburbs with her husband and four kids. She
shares biblical truth to nourish the soul -- and the
occasional recipe to nourish the body. Sarah completed
her B.A. and M.A. at Wheaton College. She's a member
of the Redbud Writers Guild and has written for Coffee +
Crumbs, Risen Motherhood, The Rabbit Room, The
Gospel Coalition, (in)courage, and more. Find her at
sarahjhauser.com, on Instagram (@sarah.j.hauser), or
check out her monthly newsletter at
sarahjhauser.com/subscribe
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Do you suffer from chronic pain or a debilitating illness? Have you recently received a difficult diagnosis? Or are you or a loved one simply going through a difficult trial right now? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you will be greatly encouraged by my interview with Andrea Herzer about her new book: Incurable Faith: 120 Devotions of Lasting Hope for Lingering Health Issues.
What We Discussed on the Podcast * How to find God's presence in the pain * How God sends encouragement in unexpected ways * Why it's important to cultivate strong relationships with other Christians when facing an illness * The power of the word "yet" to turn our laments into worship * How to find contentment and joy in the midst of a life you really don't want to be living * How shifting our mindset can transform the way we go through a trial * Andrea's special reminders for anyone who's recently been given a tough diagnosis
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast * Andrea's new book: Incurable Faith: 120 Devotions of Lasting Hope for Lingering Health Issues. * Andrea Herzer's website * Questions of Suffering - Sermon by Timothy Keller * Follow Incurable Faith on Instagram * Request to be a part of Andrea's private Facebook group: Abundant Life for Abundant Illness
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Do you often feel rushed and like you're not really enjoying life? Does your heart long for rest and for sweet fellowship with dear friends? If so, you'll be encouraged by the Danish practice of hygge (HYOO-guh) which my podcast guest, Jamie Erickson, discusses in her latest book: Holy Hygge: Creating a Place for People to Gather and the Gospel to Grow. Today's episode of the Christian Habits Podcast (links below) considers the beautiful practice of true hospitality.
What We Discussed on the Podcast * How, for the Christian, hygge is much more than décor and creating a cozy atmosphere * The three main excuses we use to not show hospitality * How true hospitality differs from merely entertaining friends * Some practical tips to make opening our home to others easier to do * One answer to loneliness (hint: it's not more friends!) * Some helpful practices to cultivate contentment
Resources Mentioned on this Episode * Holy Hygge: Creating a Place for People to Gather and the Gospel to Grow
About Jamie Erickson When she’s not curating memories, hoarding vintage books, or homeschooling her five kids, JAMIE ERICKSON can be found encouraging and equipping a growing tribe of mothers all across the globe on the Mom to Mom podcast, through her blog The Unlikely Homeschool, at national conferences, and in her book Homeschool Bravely: How to Squash Doubt, Trust God, and Teach Your Child With Confidence
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
As a parent of adult children, do you find yourself distraught about choices they are making? Do you feel guilty and like you did something wrong when your children abandon their faith? If so, you will get much encouragement from my conversation with Mary DeMuth on the Christian Habits Podcast today (links below). Mary's new book, Love, Pray, Listen, will give welcome advice for parenting your adult children with joy.
What We Talked About on the Podcast * How Mary had to make a decision to not allow her emotions to be hijacked by the choices of her adult children * It's necessary to grieve when our kids take a different path than we would have liked for them to * How the influence of culture - louder than ever, today, due to social media - is subverting the teaching of parents * What is deconstruction and is it always harmful? * Using the characteristics of love found in 1 Corinthians 13 to guide our family interactions * Availing yourself of the opportunity to apologize to your adult children * The importance of making your home a safe haven * Remembering that biblical love is the ability to tenderly care for your children when you disagree while still holding to biblical truth
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast * Love, Pray, Listen: Parenting Your Wayward Adult Children with Joy by Mary DeMuth * A free ebook by Mary for Barb's listeners: A Year of Weekly Prayers for Your Adult Kids
About Mary DeMuth Mary DeMuth is an international speaker, a podcaster, and the author of over forty books, fiction and nonfiction, includingThe Day I Met Jesus. Through God’s healing, Mary has overcome a difficult past to become an authentic example of what it means to live a brand-new story. She loves to help others“re-story”their lives through the books she writes. Mary lives inTexas with her husband of 30 years and is Mom to three adult children. Learn more at marydemuth.com
Get Mary's free ebook: A Year of Weekly Prayers for Your Adult Kids.
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Mark Batterson is an influential pastor and a prolific author of over twenty-three books. His latest book, Please, Sorry, Thanks: the Three Words that Change Everything digs into how every relationship can be positively effected by a new revelation and application of these three words in our lives. I think you'll really enjoy my interview with him today on The Christian Habits Podcast (links below).
Things We Discussed on the Podcast * How we only need to really be good at three things in our relationships: please, sorry, and thanks * Why "please" is much more than just a polite word * The shift from a "here I am" to a "there you are" mentality * Four principles of peace-making that Mark applies in his ministries * Why "sorry" needs to be specific * The value of personalizing your "please" * The Law of Reciprocity regarding gratitude * How a gratitude journal helps us to take every thought captive according to 1 Cor. 10:5 * Comment on my Facebook page under this episode's post for a chance to win a free book!
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast * Please, Sorry, Thanks by Mark Batterson * Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
Notable Quotes from Please, Sorry, Thanks by Mark Batterson * Nothing opens doors like PLEASE. Nothing mends fences like SORRY. Nothing builds bridges like THANKS. * Please is the way we level the playing field and find common ground. Please is the way we show respect, even to those we disagree with. Please is the way we bring some civility back to the public square. Please is one of the most important words we can ever say. * Without empathy, our apologies are empty. Saying sorry without feeling sorry sends mixed signals. Are you or aren’t you sorry? You have to own the apology! * Nothing mends fences like sorry. Every apology begins with empathy. It's a heart that breaks for the things that break the heart of God. * Nothing builds bridges like thanks. The theology of thanks starts with the things we take for granted. It's cultivating profound gratitude for the things we overlook and under-appreciate. * Please is a first-person plural approach to life. It turns “me” into “we.” It’s a win-win approach to relationships.
About Mark Batterson Mark Batterson is the lead pastor of National Community Church in Washington, D.C. One church in multiple locations, NCC owns and operates Ebenezers Coffeehouse, The Capital Turnaround, Miracle Theatre and the DC Dream Center. Mark is the New York Times bestselling author of 23 books, including Please, Sorry, Thanks: The Three Words That Change Everything and Win the Day, as well as several books for children, including The Best Worst Day Ever, written with his daughter Summer. Mark and his wife, Lora, live on Capitol Hill and have three children. Visit markbatterson.com and @MarkBatterson for more information.
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Do you find yourself wondering why certain things are happening in your life? Are you afraid to admit that, at times, you question whether or not God really is good? If you can relate to either of these questions, you will find yourself greatly encouraged by my interview with Joanna Weaver on today’s episode of the Christian Habits Podcast (links below). We discuss her newest book, Embracing Trust, and how to live with abiding peace and joy in the good times and the bad!
Things We Discussed on the Podcast* How trust is more than surrender * Letting go of “if only” * Joanna’s Four Unshakeable Truths * How expectations factor into our willingness to trust God * Making peace with the mystery of our lives * The concept of handling competing ideas * Learning to trust God’s process * Overcoming perfectionist tendencies * Being willing to let God change our identity * How to glory in weaknesses, as Paul did, instead of resenting them * Encouragement from the lives of Moses, David and Joseph, and how they had to learn to trust the outcome of their lives to God
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast* Joanna’s newest book: Embracing Trust * Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World * Joanna’s podcast: The Living Room Podcast * Redeeming Your Time by Jordan Raynor * Embracing Trust 5-Day Challenge * Embracing Trust 10-Week Video Study * Joanna’s website * Joanna on YouTube
About Joanna WeaverWith more than 1.6 million books in print, Joanna
Weaver is the bestselling and award-winning author
of Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, as well as Having
a Mary Spirit, Lazarus Awakening, and At the Feet of Jesus
devotional. A pastor’s wife, mother of three, and avid
Bible teacher, Joanna loves speaking to women about the
powerful freedom that is found in making Jesus Lord and
trusting Him for things bigger than themselves. She lives
with her family in Hamilton, Montana.
How to Listen to the Podcast* To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
The post Embracing Trust with Joanna Weaver appeared first on Barb Raveling.
We live in an age where people are more connected than ever through social media and email, yet loneliness is rampant in all age groups. It's easy to feel lonely even when we're surrounded by people both online and in our own lives. We're not the only ones who feel this way.
Mother Teresa once said, "The greatest disease in the West today is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love."
In this post and podcast episode, I'd like to talk about how to cure loneliness if you're a Christian. We'll begin with asking the question, "Is it normal to feel lonely?"
Is it normal for Christians to feel lonely? I would answer that question with a resounding "Yes!" Even Jesus felt lonely. In the Garden of Gethsemane He wanted his disciples with Him yet they were asleep. I'm guessing He also felt lonely at the cross when so many of His disciples had deserted him. And I can't imagine He didn't feel lonely in ministry at times. Over and over, we see Him leaving the crowds and going off to be alone with His Father where He was strengthened to once again do ministry.
We also see King David who had both friends and followers feeling lonely. In Psalm 25:16, he prays, "Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted."
And we see Elijah, hiding in a cave in 1 King 19 feeling lonely. God says, "What are you doing here, Elijah?" And Elijah replies, "I've been zealous for you, Lord, but I'm the only one left!" Elijah was feeling alone in ministry. God basically tells Elijah, "You are not alone, Elijah! There are 7000 others besides you who haven't bent the knee to Baal."
Why does God allow loneliness? So why does God allow Christian loneliness? Well, the simple answer is that God is not a micromanager! He lets us do our own thing, and often the things we do lead to loneliness. Technology also contributes to loneliness. Think back to the day before television, the Internet, and even the radio weren't invented yet. My guess is that people were less lonely in those days because they spent more time visiting with each other.
I think God also allows Christians to feel lonely sometimes for things He wants to accomplish in our lives. I remember when several of my good friends moved far away when my kids were young. I was super lonely and unhappy in that phase of my life, but God used my loneliness to draw me closer to Him and also to mature in ways He wanted me to mature.
That said, God doesn't want us to stay in our loneliness! The two greatest commandments, love God and love others, both speak to relationship. God wants us to be close to Him and others. And He wants us to love well. The more we do that, the less lonely we'll feel. Loving others involves effort. And the interesting this is that working on breaking free from loneliness will lead toward loving others well. The first step to overcoming loneliness is to find out what is causing it.
What causes loneliness? I can think of four different causes of Christian loneliness.
- Situational Christian Loneliness The most obvious cause is that we don't have enough friends or family. Or we have friends but they're not close friends. Or we have friends in our regular life, but we're currently someplace else where we don't have friends. We may also feel lonely if we're with a group of people who know each other well, yet we're not part of their group.
- Emotional Christian Loneliness At other times, we do have friends and family, but we don't feel like they love us. This happened to me when my kids were young. For some reason, I got on a no-one-loves-me kick and it was hard to get out of it. It can also happen to us if we're with a group of people who all believe differently than we do, especially if we've heard those people condemn people like us. They may still love us (and probably do!) but we think they don't because we know they don't care for our beliefs. It can also happen when we see people doing things on social media that we weren't invited to.
- Social Christian Loneliness Another type of Christian loneliness we might experience is a social loneliness. If we're naturally shy or socially awkward, or if we have low self-esteem, we can look at all those confident outgoing people out there and think we'll never be able to make friends. This makes us feel more lonely than ever because we don't feel like we have any hope. And because we're Christians, we can beat ourselves up over this because we think, "I should be better at this since I'm a Christian!"
- Spiritual Christian Loneliness As Christians, we have one other opportunity for loneliness and that's loneliness in our relationship with God. If we're not feeling close to Him, that can make us feel more lonely than ever.
How do I stop being lonely? So how do you stop being lonely? After all, we can't just snap our fingers and feel like we belong all of a sudden! The truth is that it can take quite a bit of work to overcome loneliness. To be successful, we need to make overcoming loneliness a goal, not a desire. And goals take work to accomplish. But it is possible! Following are some steps to end Christian loneliness based on what type of loneliness you're experiencing.
- Situational Loneliness
- Be proactive in making friends. This is something I did a few years back when I found myself in the position of needing a couple more friends. I made it a project: find new friends! I had to force myself out of my comfort zone and start asking people to do things. Here's what I found: The first time you ask someone to go out for coffee or a walk, it feels super awkward. The second time, it's slightly less awkward. And the third time, it's fun. But it can take awhile to find a friend. You'll need to find out if you enjoy being with them, if you have common interests, if you like to talk about the same things, and if they want to spend as much time with you as you want to spend with them. Don't take it personally if they don't! Some people don't value relationships and some are just super busy and don't have time.
- Connect with old friends via the phone. You can also connect with old friends who have moved away. Now that we're traveling the country (my husband is a travel physical therapist), I'll often call a friend or family member and visit with them while I walk. Or the two of us will meet with another couple via Facebook for a little chat.
- Be proactive in building community. One of the best ways to make friends is to start groups that meet every week. It will take a little effort in the beginning to set these up, but after you get them set up, you'll have community each week with very little effort on your part! You could join (or start) a home group at your church, attend a Bible study, form a mom's group where you visit while the kids play, or find a group that meets around one of your hobbies. My daughter and her husband have a craft night with some of their friends and another friend has a scrapbooking group. When we're in Montana, we usually go hiking with a big group of friends after church on Sundays. We began it by just asking people at church to go hiking with us one Sunday. We probably rounded up a group of 10 or 12 people just by asking at church! When we're on the road, we join a home group or Bible study as soon as possible so we have community even though we know we'll only be in the area for 13 weeks. And it's surprising how close you can get to people in just 13 weeks!
- Find new ways to serve people locally or online. Often we think community is all about fun and family, but there is great community in serving others, and God would love to see us doing this! Spend some time brainstorming ways you could serve. We have friends who do Habitat for Humanity, and I think there's a group of handymen at our church who do home repairs for people. You could call the Chamber of Commerce and see if there is a volunteer organization in your town that matches volunteers with programs. Or look for ways to serve through your church.
- Emotional Loneliness
- Let go of unrealistic expectations for how people love you. The first step to overcoming emotional loneliness is to recognize that it's natural to feel lonely at times. We live in a fallen world and no one is perfect at loving so sometimes we'll feel lonely because others aren't loving us well.
- Let go of envy. It also helps to recognize that we don't know the whole story when it comes to other people's relationships. So when you see that perfect couple on Facebook, you don't know how perfect they are in real life. I remember at a low point in my own marriage, looking at two other marriages in my town and thinking, "I wish my husband were more like that man." Well, both of those marriages ended up in divorce a few years down the road because even though those men had many wonderful traits, they also had some really non-wonderful traits that caused their wives to leave them.
- Recognize that some stages of life are more prone to loneliness. Also recognize that each stage of life has its pluses and minuses in the loneliness department. When my kids were middle schoolers and teenagers I was rarely lonely because I had built-in friends in the house. But when they all left home, I had plenty of opportunities for loneliness. I also remember being lonely in college when I lived alone but not so lonely when I lived in a dorm full of friends. So if you're in a more lonely stage of life, you'll have to be more proactive (see situational loneliness for ideas) about making friends.
- Believe that people love you. It also helps to think about who does love you when you're feeling lonely. Name actual names of people! This doesn't always work though because when I was going through my no-one-loves-me phase, I felt like the only person who loved me was our super loving two year old! I was wrong. Lots of people loved me but I was too insecure to see it. Renewing my mind (see #2 in Social Loneliness) would have helped me greatly at that time in my life but I hadn't written my book yet so I didn't have that tool!
- Develop a thankfulness habit. This is a great step to take no matter what our problem is! For loneliness, it will help if we start thanking God for all the people in our lives. Thank Him for all the people who love you and that will help you to believe that they love you.
- Social Loneliness
- Focus on others. If your loneliness is caused by shyness or social awkwardness, it helps to focus on others. At one stage of my life when I felt intimidated at social gatherings, I would pray through 1 Corinthians 13 on the way to the gathering with the people there in mind. It helped me to get the focus off myself and onto others, which led to feeling more comfortable at the gather and also experiencing more connection since I was focused on others, not myself.
- Renew your mind. If you have low self-esteem, try renewing your mind before you meet with a friend or go to a social event. Use any of the insecurity questions in my books The Renewing of the Mind Project or my I Deserve a Donut app. It can take a bit of work to get to the point where we don't feel insecure, but it's worth the work! The key to overcoming insecurity is not to get to the point where we think we're great, but to get to the point where we're more focused on others rather than ourselves and where we're willing to be vulnerable to love them well.
- Ask God to help you connect with others. Sometimes we're lonely because we don't value relationships. When I was a teenager, I remember playing the piano in my home and singing a song made popular by Barbra Streisand called "People." The song said that people who need people were the luckiest people in the world - but I didn't feel like I needed people at the time. So while I sang, I asked God to help me be a person who needed people. And He did! I love people and need people so I go out of my way to make connections with people. If you don't feel that need, ask God to help you value people and relationships.
- Work on your faults. One last thing we can do to overcome social loneliness is to work on character traits that make people not want to be with us. We all have faults so we don't want to slip into self-condemnation here, but some faults are harder to be around than others. If we're constantly complaining or negative, or if we talk all the time, or say rude things or give advice all the time, or if we don't talk at all and never ask questions of others--all of these things can make people not want to be with us. So out of love for others, we could go to God for help with changing those things so we can love others better.
- Spiritual Loneliness
- Put effort into your relationship with God. The only way to overcome spiritual Christian loneliness is to get closer to God. It's been said that there is a God-shaped whole in each of us that can only be filled with God. Yet it takes work to grow closer to God! Jeremiah 29:13 says, "You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart." Seeking God with our whole hearts is different than just doing a 5-minute duty-driven quiet time each morning. Instead, it's making a relationship with God as important as a relationship with a close friend or a spouse. Spending both quality and quantity time with Him.
- Develop a renewing habit. One of the best ways I've found to do this is to start a renewing of the mind habit. When I began a regular practice of going to God to see life and people through His perspective, I grew closer to Him. I started this journey with truth journaling more than twenty years ago and it has continued to draw me near to God all these year.
- Do a Bible study that helps you discuss life with God. Have you ever had an intimate conversation with someone you didn't know that well? I find that those types of conversations always make me feel closer to that person. But often our conversations with God are one-sided. It can help us feel closer to Him if we learn how to discuss life with Him. I have lots of free Bible studies on this website that will help you with that (just look at the Bible study tab), or you could also try my James Bible study or RALLY Bible study. Here's a lesson from the James Bible study: Letting Go of Anger and Annoyance.
Well, that's about it. I hope you're not feeling too overwhelmed by all these ideas! The bottom line is that we can break free from Christian loneliness but it takes a bit of work. If you're feeling overwhelmed by all of these ideas, just print out this post and circle the ideas that appeal to you, then narrow it down to 1-3 ideas to start out with. Then ask God for help and give it a whirl! You'll not only be helping yourself, you'll also be helping all the other lonely people out there who are looking for friends!
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Do you have loved ones in your life with whom you disagree? Do you find it hard to engage with someone who has a different opinion than yours? Are you prone to just "agree to disagree" when beliefs differ? If any of these are true for you, my interview today on the Christian Habits Podcast with Mike Donehey (links below) will give you a more peaceful approach and practical tips to have more healthy conversations when divisive topics arise.
What We Discussed on the Podcast * The importance of how we disagree rather than just what is said * How to gently engage another person with curiosity * Maintaining openness with someone who has left the faith allows them a way back * According to Romans 2:4, it's God's kindness that leads us to repentance * When you're confident in what you believe, you aren't threatened by another's questions * When someone feels understood, it often drains away animosity * How "agreeing to disagree" isn't always the best way * How to not become a "smug monster" * Why Mike believes that bitterness is the most dangerous sin * Why it's always more important to love the other person than to win the argument
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast * Mike's book, Grace in the Gray: A More Loving Way to Disagree * The Renewing of the Mind Project
Notable Quotes from Mike's Book “If we are to love in the gray spaces—the places where our arguments find just footing on either side—curiosity and kindness must lead the way. Our desire to be heard must not overpower our need to hear what others are saying. Our desire to be understood must not overshadow our need to understand others.”
“When grace is our baseline, then being disapproved of no longer feels like being disowned. We can even invite in divergence because we know where we stand. We know whose love we stand in.”
About Mike Donehey Mike Donehey is a singer, songwriter, podcast host, and former lead singer of the Christian contemporary band Tenth Avenue North. He’s also the author of Grace in the Gray: A More Loving Way to Disagree (WaterBrook; on sale 1/17/23) and the bestselling author of Finding God’s Life for My Will. Mike, his wife, Kelly, and their four daughters live in Nashville, Tennessee. He’s also the host of Chasing the Beauty podcast. For more information, visit mikedonehey.com, or find Mike on his social channels: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or TikTok.
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Do you have loved ones in your life with whom you disagree? Do you find it hard to engage with someone who has a different opinion than yours? Are you prone to just “agree to disagree” when beliefs differ? If any of these are true for you, my interview today on the Christian Habits Podcast with Mike Donehey (links below) will give you a more peaceful approach and practical tips to have more healthy conversations when divisive topics arise.
What We Discussed on the Podcast The importance of how we disagree rather than just what is said * How to gently engage another person with curiosity * Maintaining openness with someone who has left the faith allows them a way back * According to Romans 2:4, it’s God’s kindness* that leads us to repentance * When you’re confident in what you believe, you aren’t threatened by another’s questions * When someone feels understood, it often drains away animosity * How “agreeing to disagree” isn’t always the best way * How to not become a “smug monster” * Why Mike believes that bitterness is the most dangerous sin * Why it’s always more important to love the other person than to win the argument
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast Mike’s book, Grace in the Gray: A More Loving Way to Disagree * The Renewing of the Mind Project*
Notable Quotes from Mike’s Book“If we are to love in the gray spaces—the places where our arguments find just footing on either side—curiosity and kindness must lead the way. Our desire to be heard must not overpower our need to hear what others are saying. Our desire to be understood must not overshadow our need to understand others.”
“When grace is our baseline, then being disapproved of no longer feels like being disowned. We can even invite in divergence because we know where we stand. We know whose love we stand in.”
About Mike DoneheyMike Donehey is a singer, songwriter, podcast host, and former lead singer of the Christian contemporary band Tenth Avenue North. He’s also the author of Grace in the Gray: A More Loving Way to Disagree (WaterBrook; on sale 1/17/23) and the bestselling author of Finding God’s Life for My Will. Mike, his wife, Kelly, and their four daughters live in Nashville, Tennessee. He’s also the host of Chasing the Beauty podcast. For more information, visit mikedonehey.com, or find Mike on his social channels: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or TikTok.
How to Listen to the Podcast* To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
The post A More Loving Way to Disagree with Mike Donehey appeared first on Barb Raveling.
When trials and hard times come into our lives, we can find ourselves questioning God and becoming bitter. On today's episode of The Christian Habits Podcast (links below), I talk with Daniel Fusco about how developing resilience during trials can actually be a path to fruitfulness and growth in our lives, and also about his new book, You're Gonna Make It.
What We Discussed on the Podcast * What is resilience? * How hope and grit factor into the resilience equation * How to submit to God's will, no matter what * Discovering the fruit that comes from hard times in our lives * Learning to walk through trials open-hearted * Dispelling the "life is easy" myth * The profound growth that happens during trials in our lives * Building resilience before the hardship * Making space to cultivate hope * How the Body of Christ is at its best when our lives are at their worst
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast * Daniel's new book: You're Gonna Make It
About Daniel Fusco Daniel Fusco is an author, a church planter, and the lead pastor of Crossroads Community Church in Vancouver, Washington. His radio program, Jesus Is Real Radio, is broadcast across the country, and his TV show, Real with Daniel Fusco, airs across the globe. He also hosts the popular You’re Gonna Make It podcast and is the author of Crazy Happy, and You’re Gonna Make It. He has written numerous articles for CBN.com, PreachingToday.com, and Relevant. Fusco and his wife, Lynn, have three children and reside in southwest Washington
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Do you find yourself looking to other people or things to satisfy you? Are you tempted to doubt that Jesus alone really does offer a life of joy, peace and contentment? On today's episode of the Christian Habits Podcast (links down below), I visit with Jennifer Slattery about nine common idols we are tempted to worship and how to resist them.
What We Discussed on the Podcast * What is an idol? * Nine common things we are tempted to worship instead of God * How idols can hurt our relationships * How an inner-angst is an indicator that we may have an idol * The process associated with giving up an idol * Jennifer's own struggles with an eating disorder as she struggled with a food idol * Wisdom for overcoming idols * A great question to ask when deciding to give up an idol
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast * Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller * Say Goodbye to Emotional Eating * Pre-Order bonuses for Say Goodbye to Emotional Eating * Jennifer's website, jenniferslatterylivesoutloud.com
About Jennifer Slattery Jennifer Slattery is an author, speaker, and ministry leader passionate about helping God's children reach their full potential and live fully surrendered to Christ. Find her online at JenniferSlatteryLivesOutLoud.com.
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
I don’t know about you, but when life is hard, I’m often tempted to do things that aren’t good for me. Eat, for example. Or waste time on my phone. Or sit like a lump on the couch and think of all the things that could possibly go wrong and how my life will be [...]
The post When Life is Hard: 3 Temptations & 3 Solutions appeared first on Barb Raveling.
Do you feel overwhelmed by the task of getting organized? Does a simple glance around your home or office tell you that clutter is taking over your life? If so, my podcast interview with Dana K. White from A Slob Comes Clean (links below) will offer helpful advice about how to tackle these projects without stress. What We Discussed on the Podcast * Coming to terms with our own unique clutter threshold * The Container Concept * Accepting the reality of the limited space we have * How decluttering and cleaning are not the same things * What the layers of a clean house are * How Dana's method is different than minimalism * How to change our goals about our spaces * The Visibility Rule * How decluttering is a lifelong process
Resources We Talked About on the Podcast * James Bible Study * Dana's new book: Organizing for the Rest of Us * Another of Dana's books: Decluttering at the Speed of Life * Dana's website: aslobcomesclean.com
About Dana K. White Dana K. White is a Wallstreet Journal bestselling author, blogger, podcaster, speaker, and (much to her own surprise) a decluttering expert. In an attempt to get her home under control, Dana started blogging as “Nony” (short for anonymous) at A Slob Comes Clean. Dana soon realized she was not alone in her housekeeping struggles and in her feelings of shame. Today, Dana shares realistic home management strategies with her signature humor and a message of hope for the hopelessly messy through her blog, weekly podcasts, and videos. Dana lives with her husband and three kids just outside of Dallas, Texas. Learn more at www.aslobcomesclean.com. How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Do you feel overwhelmed by the task of getting organized? Does a simple glance around your home or office tell you that clutter is taking over your life? If so, my podcast interview with Dana K. White from A Slob Comes Clean (links below) will offer helpful advice about how to tackle these projects without stress. [...]
The post Dana K. White: How to Declutter and Get Organized appeared first on Barb Raveling.
In this interview with Asheritah CiuCiu, we discuss how to grow a prayer habit using the REST method from her new book, Prayers of Rest: 365 Prompts to Hear God's Voice. If you find yourself struggling to make prayer a daily habit, Asheritah offers many helpful ways to cultivate this powerful discipline in this episode of the Christian Habits Podcast (links below).
What We Discussed on the Podcast * How to make a prayer habit stick by learning, fostering and practicing it * Praying through hard emotions * How distracting thoughts can actually become prompts in prayer * How developing intimacy with God takes time * How what we believe about God influences our prayers * Written prayers vs. spontaneous prayers * How to stop talking and begin listening in prayer * The REST prayer method: Recite God's goodness, Express your neediness, Seek His Stillness, and Trusting God's faithfulness * Praying through scripture
Resources Discussed on the Podcast * My previous interview with Asheritah: Overcoming Food Fixation * Asheritah's newest book: Prayers of Rest: 365 Prompts to Hear God's Voice * App that Barb referenced: Reimagining the Examen (free app available on both Google and Apple app stores) * Asheritah's books: Full: Food, Jesus and the Battle for Satisfaction, and Bible and Breakfast
About Asheritah CiuCiu Asheritah Ciuciu is a bestselling author, national speaker, and host of the Prayers of REST podcast. She is the founder of One Thing Alone Ministries, an online ministry that helps women all over the world find joy in Jesus through creative and consistent time in God’s word. Asheritah grew up in Romania as a missionary kid and studied English and Women’s Ministry at Cedarville University. She is married to her high school sweetheart and together they raise their three spunky kids in NE Ohio. Asheritah is the author of several books, including the best-selling Advent devotional Unwrapping the Names of Jesus. Her writing and speaking has been featured on Focus on the Family, Revive Our Hearts, Moody Radio, Relevant Magazine, Proverbs 31, and MOPS International. For more information about Asheritah, her books, and writing/speaking ministry, visit www.asheritah.com.
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Do you find yourself always pursuing happiness but rarely finding it? Does your life feel cluttered and unsatisfying? If so, today's episode of the Christian Habits Podcast (links below) will offer a remedy for a selfish and unhappy life. I speak with Joshua Becker, founder of Becoming Minimalist, about his new book: Things that Matter.
Things We Discussed on the Podcast * How removing distractions from our lives enables us to realize our fullest potential * How the pursuit of money, possessions, accolades, leisure, fear, and past mistakes hold us back * Two types of distractions: internal and external * The specific distractions of leisure and the pursuit of personal happiness * How the principles of the Bible are effective for all people, even non-Christians * How "serving others is the only way to overcome the victim mentality" * The idea of retirement is found nowhere in the Bible * How to transition from lives of self-centeredness to lives of service
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast * Things that Matter: Overcoming Distractions to Pursue a More Meaningful Life by Joshua Becker * James Bible Study - My newest book is a 20-lesson Bible study for individuals, one-on-ones, or small groups who know each other well (or want to know each other well). It is also a great study for discipleship and mentoring relationships.
About Joshua Becker Joshua Becker, author of Things That Matter: Overcoming Distractions to
Pursue a More Meaningful Life (WaterBrook; on-sale 4/19/22), is also the bestselling author of The More of Less, The Minimalist Home, and founder of Becoming Minimalist, a website dedicated to inspiring others to find more life by owning less. The website welcomes over 1.5 million readers each month and has inspired millions around the world to consider the practical benefits of owning fewer possessions. He is also the creator of Simplify magazine and founder of The Hope Effect, a nonprofit organization changing how the world cares for orphans. He’s a contributing writer to Forbes and has appeared in
dozens of media outlets including the Wall Street Journal, The New York
Times, CBS Evening News, Christian Science Monitor and “The Drew Barrymore Show.” Joshua and his family live near Phoenix, Arizona. For more information, visit BecomingMinimalist.com (2.75M social media followers)
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Do you ever have a hard time making yourself read your Bible? Or do you start out reading, only to find yourself reading the same passage over and over again because you can't make yourself concentrate? Today we'll talk about 9 tips you can use to develop a Bible reading habit.
Are you in the middle of a big life change? Or still adjusting to an old life change? Change can be difficult, even when it's positive. Yet so many life changes don't feel one bit positive. Here are just a few of the life changes we go through: * A move * Change of occupation: new job, loss of old job, career change, beginning college, etc. * Engagement or marriage * Divorce or separation * Natural disasters and pandemics such as Covid * Death of a loved one * Serious illness, disease, or injury * Children leaving home * Retirement of yourself or a spouse
Since I'm experiencing my own life change at the moment (my husband just became a travel physical therapist and we've left our home of 30 years to travel around the country), I thought it might be helpful to do a podcast/blog post on how to navigate major life change. Following are a few things I'm trying as I enter this new season of life.
10 Tips to Navigate Life Change Well 1. Recognize that it’s hard. So often we say things like, "I shouldn't be feeling this way," or "Buck up, Buttercup!" And while I'm a big fan of that latter phrase, it's helpful to realize that it's not surprising that we're struggling. Even a happy occasion like marriage can cause adjustment problems. We'll do better if we admit to ourselves that yes, this is an adjustment, and yes, it's hard. 2. Have realistic expectations for the process and give yourself grace. If you recognize it's hard, you'll be more likely to give yourself grace. Beating yourself up for not adjusting quickly enough isn't helpful. I've found that if I have realistic expectations for how long something takes—whether it's a task on my to-do list or an adjustment to a new situation—I'll be less likely to get worried, depressed, or beat myself up. 3. Work on making this new life the best life possible—put time and effort into it. Often, we complain about how hard life is, but we do nothing to change it. Instead, we expect it to get better over time. While this does sometimes happen, we'll have much more success if we put some effort into making it better. The rest of these tips will give you ideas of how to make the best possible life. 4. Brainstorm ideas to make life better. When you're in a new situation, you're not an expert at that situation. Instead, you need to learn how to be joyful in this new life. Take a list and brainstorm different ways to make it better. Talk to a friend, mentor, or loved one. Visit with someone who's been in this situation to see how they handled it. Then circle a few things from the list to try. 5. Join a support group or get involved in a community ASAP. When we moved to our first travel assignment in Santa Fe, the first thing we did was to find a church. We tried two churches in one day and found one we loved. We visited with people in the church, and I mentioned that it was hard to leave our community in Hamilton, Montana. This led to one couple inviting us to a home group and now we have instant community--a group of wonderful people to fellowship with. If your life change is traumatic, look for a support group in your area of others who are going through a similar trial. 6. Dwell on the good. My tendency is to dwell on the good of the old life and the bad of the new life! This is not helpful! It's easier to dwell on the good if you have a positive life change, but it can be incredibly difficult with a traumatic life change. That said, God can bring good from any situation. A bad situation is a perfect "opportunity" to develop a thankfulness habit, grow closer to God, and practice dwelling on the good. 7. Lean on God and expect Him to teach you new lessons. Trusting God isn't just a trite phrase. It's an active event where we spend time with Him, time in His Word, time in prayer. The closer we get to God, the happier we'll be. In fact, in some situations, this may be our only chance for happiness, at least in the beginning. Romans 5:3-5 and James 1:2-4 tell us that hard times are opportunities for growth. Our new pastor in Santa Fe said in a recent sermon that hard times can make us bitter, battered, or better. Leaning on God (rather than the way life used to be) will help them to be better. 8. Recognize that you'll have bad days. That said, expect to have bad days. It's a process. One day you might think, I have this new life down pat! I can handle it now! And then the next day might be a disaster. That's normal! It takes time to adjust to a new life. Don't despair and don't beat yourself up. Instead, trust that God will be by your side to help. 9. Renew when upset. If I didn't already have an established renewing habit, my current life would be much worse. As I write this post, we're only three weeks into our new life. I went from being super depressed the first day here to being positive, hopeful, and excited about this life now. This happened through employing all the previous tips but this last tip was most helpful. Renewing is what helped me to see this experience from a biblical perspective, and more than anything, that's what helped me be content. I'll show you one of my renewing entries from the last few weeks below. 10. Accept what you need to accept. Renewing helps, but often, you're still left with an unpleasant truth. Your loved one is gone. You lost your job. The government is doing things you don't like and they're not asking you for permission. Accepting what we need to accept allows us to move on. It frees us up to pursue the best possible life within the context of what we can't change. And it also frees us up to look for things—even in this life—to be thankful for. And we are far happy when we're living in thankfulness.
Renewing Example: Barb's Journal Entry - 1/10/22 One of the ways I like to renew my mind is to make an option chart. When you hear the phrase option chart, you might think of a chart that explores all of our possible options. But a renewing option chart explores the options we're currently taking to see how those options are affecting different outcomes we want: things like our relationship with God, our relationship with others, progress on a goal, or our personal wellbeing.
In the following chart, I've listed three things I want: to be happy in our new lifestyle, to feel close to God, and to be able to be productive in this lifestyle. To write and podcast and get other writing-related things done. I put those at the top of the chart and all of my tendencies on the left side of the chart.
I always start by writing down what I really want, which is always completely unrealistic. In this example, I wrote, "to be perfectly happy all the time during travel therapy." Since I am NEVER completely happy all the time, even on vacation, it stands to reason I won't be completely happy in this new life so I listed "NOT AN OPTION" on that line.
With all the other options, I listed an up or down arrow indicating how I thought that action would affect the outcome and then listed a reason I thought it would go that way. You'll notice that my middle options almost always have a whole row of down arrows! Yet those are the options I consistently take if left to my own devices.
On the bottom row, I always list what I call the "God" option. I think about it for a bit and record what I think God would want me to do. Then I evaluate that option with arrows. And I almost always discover that God's plan is best. Option charts help me have the strength to do what God wants me to do because they show me that God's way really is best.
This option chart completely changed my perspective. I've also done some truth journal entries that have helped. By making a commitment to regularly renew and also employ some of the other tips I mentioned, I'm able to celebrate and enjoy the good aspects of this experience and live a contented life.
God is good. We just need to go to Him for help to see that life is also good, especially when we're having a hard time adjusting!
Have you gone through a big life change recently or in the past? I'd love any tips you have for me on how to adjust!
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast * Skip Heitzig message on trials - Skip is just starting this series as I write this post, but by the time it publishes, you should be able to watch all the videos in the series. * Learning to Adjust to a Different Life Than You're Used To with Ngina Otiende * James Bible Study by Barb Raveling * The 12-Week Year by Brian Moran and Michael Lennington * How to Develop a Thankfulness Habit
Our hearts are deceitful and in this age of technology, it is easier than ever to begin sharing your thoughts and deep feelings with someone other than your spouse. If we aren't careful, we can begin to become emotionally dependent on someone outside of our marriage. In today's podcast, Barb visits with her friend, Trish, about how to avoid (or end) an emotional affair.
What We Discussed on the Podcast * What exactly is an emotional affair? * How an innocent friendship can morph into something more * Questions to ask ourselves about interactions with the opposite sex * Tips for setting boundaries about your relationships with others * Tips for how to avoid getting into an emotional affair * Helpful ideas about how to end an emotional affair
Resources We Talked About on the Podcast * Barb's upcoming James Bible study
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Happy New Year, everyone! Well it's this time of year that many of us are focused on starting or stopping habits and setting goals. On today's podcast, I'll visit with Melanie Wilson, author, blogger, podcaster, and we will be discussing several tips about how to achieve your goals this year!
Tips to Help You Achieve Your Goals 1. Develop a routine. 2. Make it easy. 3. Make a plan for dealing with obstacles. 4. Find ways to make it fun 5. Keep your why in front of you. 6. Let go of perfectionism. 7. Be a good coach to yourself. 8. Renew your mind when necessary. 9. Gain support. 10. Conquer procrastination.
Resources We Talked About on the Podcast * Melanie's blog: homeschoolsanity.com * Melanie's podcast: The Homeschool Sanity Show * Melanie's book: A Year of Living Productively * 45 Bible Verses for Procrastination * 10 Tips to Help You Stop Procrastinating * Freedom from Procrastination
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
To give advice or not to give advice? That is the question. In the past I used to answer that with, Of course I should give advice! Why wouldn't I give advice?! Well, I have since learned a few reasons why I shouldn't!
For starters, too much advice can hurt relationships. On our end, we think we're giving wise advice to help people be safe and happy. But on their end, they often feel like we're trying to fix them. This makes them annoyed with us and hurts relationships.
Another way unsolicited advice hurts relationships is that it can make the recipient feel unloved. We're usually worried about something they're doing. And we're trying to keep them happy, safe, and close to God. They on the other hand can feel like we're focusing on something negative in them. And that we will only love them if they're perfect.
Unsolicited advice also hurts relationships when we give the same advice over and over. This makes people not want to be with us because they're tired of getting advice!
Finally, unsolicited advice can hurt relationships with our adult children because it's seen as a lack of respect. We think, I need to tell them this so they don't make the same mistakes I made! They think, Mom (or Dad) doesn't realize I'm an adult!
So how do we break free from giving too much advice when it's something we just do without thinking?
Well, let me give you some advice about that ...
How to Decide if You Should Give Advice or Not Unfortunately, I have often been the person giving unasked for advice and hurting people in the process. But in this blog post (and podcast episode), I want to share an acronym I've made that's helping me know when to give or not give advice. And I'll warn you ahead of time, usually I decide I shouldn't give advice after asking the questions!
I call the acronym SPIKER. Think of a person standing at the volleyball net, jumping high to shove the ball down the other side of the net and take out the opponent. That's how advice often feels to the advice-receiver. We think we're giving a nice gentle lob over the fence to help them have a better life, but they think we're pounding them with advice. This acronym will help you evaluate what you have to say so see if it's worth giving.
With the holidays coming up, it seemed like the perfect time to share this acronym as many of us will be surrounded by people we want to give advice to!
6 Questions to Ask First Before Giving Advice Most rules are in the form of statements: commands to tell you how to live life. But in the spirit of this blog post (don't give advice!), I decided to list the rules in the form of questions. Ask these questions before you give advice. If you had adult kids coming home for the holidays, think about what kind of advice you may want to give them while they're here (yes, I know it's already running through your mind!) and ask yourself these questions before they get home. Or better yet, each morning they're home before they wake up!
- S - Sure - Are you sure you're giving the right advice or is there a possibility you're wrong or you'll find out one day that this was bad advice?
- P - Profitable - Will it be profitable? In other words, how likely are they to consider taking your advice? (This is especially helpful to think about for unsolicited advice.)
- I - Important - Is it important? Or are you wasting your advice-giving-currency on things that aren't that important?
- K - Knowledge - Do they already know this?
- E - Edifying - Is it edifying? Will this build them up or make them feel like you think they need to be fixed and that there is something wrong with them?
- R - Repeat - Have you said this before? How many times? (Most people don't want to hear the same advice more than once or twice.)
If you'd like to hear some examples of this acronym in action, check out the podcast episode. (Scroll down for links to listen to the podcast or click the player at the top of this post.)
How to Give Advice: 6 Rules Okay, in this section, I will give a few rules. These rules are helpful whether you're giving advice that has been asked for or unsolicited.
- Be respectful. You will have a far better chance of them listening if you're respectful. Before you give advice, try thinking of five things this person is doing well or five things you like and respect about this person. This will help you be respectful.
- Consider asking them for permission first. Since so many people don't like unsolicited advice, it may be helpful to ask before you give advice. Just remember they may say no, and be respectful if they do. Which means no advice! (And no little comments about how they need advice!)
- Choose the right time and place. Try to choose a time outside the heat of the moment, but also not when they're relaxing and having fun. It may even be helpful to tell them you have something to talk about and ask them what a good time would be (if they have time).
- Build people up with your words. In Colossians 4:29, Paul tells us to use words that edify others. He also tells us not to let any corrupt talk come out of our mouths, and to give grace to those who hear.
- Try to preface your advice with a compliment. This may or may not work. After all, you don't want them to think you're buttering them up so they'll take your advice! But if it's possible, try to offer encouragement and positive feedback about other areas of their lives. And try not to only give advice or point out faults. This goes against rule #4 as we're tearing people down, not building them up.
- Stop before you give too much advice. So often our initial advice is short and sweet. But when we don't get the response we want, we may go into convince-them mode. This is often seen as obnoxious-mode by our advice receivers! So give yourself a little lecture and avoid the long-winded advice!
Lies That Make Us Give Unwanted Advice Often we want to stop giving advice, but we believe lies that drive us to do it. Here are a few of these lies and some truth that will help us change our way.
- If I give them this advice, I can keep them from making the mistakes I made. Unfortunately, this isn't true. We ALL make mistakes--and even if we lived around the most advice-giving person on the planet, we'd still make mistakes. Why? Because we often think other people's advice is bad (even though it's good). And because we don't always have enough self-control to take good advice even if we want to. Not to mention the fact, that the advice-giver may be wrong!
- If they (do this thing I think they shouldn't do), they'll ruin their lives and be unhappy forever. Ruined lives and unhappy-forever is not dependent on one incident in life. Also, if joy comes through walking with the Spirit (Galatians 5:16-17, 22-24), then
- If they (do this thing I think they shouldn't do), they'll die. Again, this isn't necessarily true unless they're planning to jump off a high cliff. The Bible tells us our days are numbered, and they will only die if God allows them to die (Psalm 139:16).
- It's possible for my friends and loved ones to have trouble-free lives. We don't think this one outright, but I think we might believe it at the unconscious level. Unfortunately, we will all have troubles and trials!
- I need to give them advice so they can have a trouble-free life. See truth for #4. Plus, if I keep giving them unsolicited advice, I will be one of the troubles in their life! And do I really want to be that?
- I need to give them advice so they can continue to follow God their whole lives. Again, I have no control over this. In a world with so much skepticism, temptation, and condemnation of Christians, it's a wonder any kids grow up to follow God their whole lives. We have lots of influence when our kids are young, not so much when our kids become adults sadly. The best thing we can do is pray for our adult children. We can also work on our own sins and character flaws so we won't make them stumble with our behavior.
Does that mean we should never give advice? No definitely not. Sometimes it's worth giving advice. Just think it through first if you're a person who tends to give too much of it. The Bible gives us all kinds of encouragement to ask advice from wise counselors, and advice can be life-changing! My guess is that if you're a person who gives too much advice, you're also a person who loves people and wants the best for them. That's a good thing!
Resources We Talked About on the Podcast * Blog post with advice questions
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Do you struggle with productivity? At the end of each day, do you wind up feeling discouraged that you didn't achieve more? Do you find that you often have trouble getting through your to-do list? If so, you'll want to listen to today's episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, where I interview Polly Payne, the CEO of Horacio Printing and the creator of the Dream Planner. Polly shares many helpful tips so that we can productively focus our energy on what matters most each day and finally conquer that to-do list!
Things We Discussed on the Podcast * How to win the day rather than letting the day defeat you * How to simplify your focus by using the "Top 3" strategy * The importance of planning your "Top 3" the night before * Two phone tips to help get things done * The Five Block System * A helpful tip to transition from your morning routine to work block * How remembering your "why" is so helpful to your productivity * The "Planning Fallacy" * Start small and give yourself the win
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast * Dream Planning Podcast with Polly Payne * Shop at Horacio Printing * 2022 Dream Planner * Soap Bible Study * Systemize Your Life Podcast with Chelsi Jo * The Pomodoro Method * Finish by Jon Acuff
Polly Payne is a southern girl from Alabama who moved to NYC to pursue her dreams. She left her successful career in advertising to run Horacio Printing and share her Dream Planner with the world. She has sold over 35,000 Dream Planners around the world and raised over $65,000 to fight human trafficking through her partnership with A21. Last year, she hosted the Dreamers Summit which featured Christine Caine, Alli Worthington and DawnChere Wilkerson as guest speakers! Polly now lives in Chattanooga, TN with her husband and daughter and has a little baby boy on the way coming New Year's Day! How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Most all of us have the desire to grow in God, but we often don't know how to begin. My guest on the Christian Habits Podcast today, Darryl Dash, has written a great new book on this topic called 8 Habits for Growth: A Simple Guide to Becoming More Like Christ. Darryl discusses the habits in his book and gives helpful advice for the Christian desiring to go deeper in their faith walk.
Things We Discussed on the Episode * What Christian growth is * Strategies for growth both for the individual and for the church * Sharing life with someone as an effective means of discipleship * How caring for your physical body is actually an important part of Christian growth * Tips for beginning habits * God's deep compassion for us when we are trying to grow and we fail * How consistency is more important than perfection
About Darryl Dash DARRYL DASH is pastor of Liberty Grace Church in Toronto. He is also cofounder of Gospel for Life, and director of Advance Church Planting Institute. He has a Doctor of Ministry degree from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, and has over 25 years of ministry experience. Darryl is married to Charlene, and has two adult children, Christy and Josiah. You can find Darryl online at DashHouse.com.
Resources Mentioned on the Podcast * Darryl's new book 8 Habits for Growth * Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Google Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
Do you ever get irritated with friends who believe differently than you do about politics or Covid? Do you get annoyed with the faults of a spouse or family member? Do you get frustrated with people who drive at a different speed than you drive? If so, today's post and podcast will help. We'll be discussing how to stop being angry. Before we do that, though, let's look at what anger is.
What is anger? When I first started helping people let go of anger, I discovered people have different definitions for anger. Many picture anger as the person who is yelling and swearing, but anger is more than that. It also includes resentment, irritation, annoyance, and frustration. Often we stuff feelings of anger because we feel bad about it. But if you stuff those emotions for too long, you may not even know you're angry.
How do you know you're angry? If you're used to stuffing or denying your anger, it will be hard to spot it in the beginning. Look for times when you feel out of sorts. Then think back to the last few hours. Did something just happen to upset you? Did you read something on the news? A post on social media? Did someone say something hurtful?
Ask yourself, "What emotion am I feeling?" This will help you begin to recognize your emotions. Anger, resentment, irritation, frustration, and bitterness all fall into the category of anger. Judgement and pride are accompanying emotions.
What causes anger? Have you ever been in a situation where you were angry and your friend wasn't? Even though you were both witnessing the same thing happening? We all get angry at different things because of our different life experiences, beliefs, and personalities. If we know why we're angry, it will be easier to stop being angry. Begin by asking yourself, "Why am I angry?" Here are a few reasons we get angry, irritated, annoyed, or resentful:
- We think we're right–and get mad at all those wrong people out there.
- We think others need to make us happy–and get mad when they don't.
- We think life should be easy–and get frustrated when it's not.
- We think we shouldn't have to suffer–and get mad when people expect us to do things that are hard.
- We compare our strengths to other's faults–and get mad when they're not more like us.
- We care too much about what others think–and get mad when they don't give us enough praise or affirmation.
- People we love do scary things–and our fear comes out as anger.
- People we love say and do things to hurt us–and our pain comes out as anger.
- Politicians do things we think will harm people or destroy our way of life–and our fear comes out as anger toward both the politicians and all the people who follow them.
Is anger bad? Any time I teach on anger in a Bible study, I'll always have at least one person in the room bring up righteous anger. The idea is that there are good forms of anger and bad forms of anger. The problem is that even if there are good forms of anger, we engage in the bad form 95% of the time. So rather than defend ourselves for the 5%, we're better off if we work on the 95% of unrighteous anger!
It's true that God is angry in the Bible at times and since we know God never sins, we know it's possible to be angry and not sin. But Romans 3:10 tells us that "none is righteous, no not one." So my question is, can an unrighteous person have righteous anger? That question is up for debate and people will answer it in different ways.
One of the ways people answer it is to point out how you need righteous anger to right all the wrongs in the world–to help save the innocent from their abusers, for example. My question is, could you help the innocent with a motive of love rather than an emotion of anger? When Jesus died on the cross, I don't think he was angry.
Jesus appears to be angry in the temple when he is overturning tables and it's possible he was–but if you look at those passages, it doesn't actually say he was. Although if he was, He would be another example of God--who is 100% righteous--being angry.
I think you could make a biblical case for both points of view, so I usually try to avoid this part of the anger topic. But since it's a topic that always comes up, I thought I should at least mention it.
What does the Bible say about anger? If you look up anger in the Bible, you'll find some examples of God being angry and all kinds of verses telling us not to be angry. The only passage that seems like it's saying we can be angry is Ephesians 4:26-27: "Be angry and yet do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity."
Here's the interesting thing, though. In the Greek, the verb for "be angry" can either be translated "be angry" or "you are being angry." The reason for this is that the imperative 2nd person plural form (be angry) is the same as the present active indicative 2nd person plural form (you are continually being angry) in the Greek. (See pages 12 and 111 in Essentials of New Testament Greek by Ray Summers, Broadman Press, 1950.)
But even if we use the imperative form, the verse still tells us to let go of our anger before we go to sleep. Why? Because otherwise we'll give the devil an opportunity. I don't know how many times I've given the devil an opportunity by holding onto my anger for not just a day but weeks and months and even years. When we do that, we hurt ourselves and others.
How does anger hurt us and others? Here are just a few of the ways our anger, irritation, annoyance, and resentment hurt ourselves and others:
- Anger destroys relationships. When we hold onto our anger, we don't want to be with the person we're angry with. We're not thinking of any of their positive traits, just their faults. This makes us dislike and even hate them and there goes the relationship. Just think of what would happen if every married person followed Paul's advice in Ephesians 4:26-27. Divorce lawyers would go bankrupt!
- Anger hurts our relationship with God. Have you ever been so annoyed with a person that you can't let go of it? I have. And during the seasons of my life when that happened, I noticed I didn't feel as close to God. James 4:6 says that God is opposed to the proud. Anger often reflects a proud heart and it distances us from God.
- Anger keeps others from recognizing their sin and repenting. Just think of the last time someone was angry with you. Did it make you think, Oh, I need to change my ways. I just realized I'm sinning! Or did it make you think, This person is such a jerk for being angry with me! Romans 2:4 tells us that it's God's kindness that leads to repentance. This is true for us as well. People will be more likely to recognize their sin and feel bad for it if we're kind to them.
- Anger keeps us from recognizing our sin and repenting. When we're angry, we're so focused on the sins or faults of others, that we don't notice our own sin. We feel like we have a right to our anger and forget all the verses in the Bible talking about giving grace and forgiving others. In truth, our own sins of pride, judgment, and sustained resentment are just as bad or worse than the sins of the people we're angry with.
- Anger robs our joy. Have you ever been angry and joyful at the same time? Probably not! Anger robs our joy. It keeps us from experiencing the abundant life. God wants us to love others well, but He also wants us to live joyful lives. The sooner we get rid of our anger, the better!
- Anger robs the joy of others. No one likes to listen to an angry person yell. Not the people who are being yelled at and not the innocent bystanders. Even if we're angry and not yelling, people can sense our resentment and it robs their joy. It's hard to hide anger–much better to work at getting rid of it!
How do you control angry outbursts? So how do you stop being angry? Much of the literature on how to stop being angry focuses on how to control our anger. With this approach, we're still angry. We're just learning how to control it.
I agree that we need to learn to control our anger. We don't want to have outbursts because they hurt people and scare people. But what if we could let go of the angry feelings altogether? If we could do that, we wouldn't have to control our anger because it wouldn't be there to control. This is actually possible, and I've experienced it myself.
My brother once said, "Barb, you say the things everyone else is thinking but are afraid to say." This is true. That's why it was so much more helpful for me to learn how to get rid of the angry thoughts, than just control the anger. Because if it was in my head, I was going to say it.
God did teach me how to let go of anger, and although I still get annoyed at times, it's no longer a big issue in my life. God can do the same for you. Following are 12 tips to help you stop being angry.
How to Stop Being Angry – 12 Tips When I first started practicing these tips, I thought I was inviting myself to life of misery. A life of everyone else getting what they wanted but not me. I couldn't have been more wrong. The more I learned to let go of my idea of what had to happen for me to be happy, the happier I became. Here are the steps I took--and you can take--to stop being angry.
- Don't beat yourself up about it. I was lucky because I was never a yeller. Because of that, I didn't feel guilty about my anger when I first started working on it. I just calmly renewed my mind every time I got angry. But if you're a yeller, you may spend a lot of time beating yourself up. Try not to do that. The truth is that everyone has faults, and anger is just one of many. Is it important to work on? Yes! But work on it from the safety of your Father's arms, knowing that He loves you as is.
- Renew your mind every time you're angry. The first thing I learned when I started working on anger was that I believed some lies that were making me angry. The more I got rid of the lies, the less I got angry. Renewing is a skill that takes time and effort to learn. Check out the renewing of the mind tools tab at the top of this blog for more help with renewing. You can also use the anger questions from I Deserve a Donut (and Other Lies That Make You Eat) or the Renewing of the Mind Project to renew. I'll give you an example of renewing with those questions at the end of today's podcast episode. Another way to renew is with truth journaling. Here's an example of truth journaling for anger: Renewing when angry at your spouse.
- Recognize the consequences of your anger. When we're angry, we're so wrapped up in how that person is hurting us or others that we don't see how our anger is hurting us and others. Option charts can help you see the consequences of your anger. This podcast episode shows the option chart in action: Option Charts: Tool for a Happy Christian Marriage. Option charts take a bit of time to learn, but they're incredibly helpful in letting go of anger. Why? Because they help us see in black and white how anger is affecting our walk with God, relationships, enjoyment of life, and even our chances of being able to change the person who is making us angry. Seeing the consequences of anger makes us want to let go of it.
- Accept what you need to accept. If you live in a rich western country, you probably grew up with the idea that you can change anything you want to change. But this is a lie. For example, how successful were you in changing your governor's position on Covid? How successful have you been with changing your spouse's or friend's bad habits? Often the only thing we can change is our attitude--because like it or not, God hasn't give us the power to change other people. This post will help with this step: Accepting the Unacceptable. Option charts (tip 3) also help with accepting the unacceptable.
- Don't assume you're right and everyone else is wrong. Think of it this way: have scientists ever believed one thing at one stage of history and then changed their minds years later? Or on a personal level, have you ever believed one thing at one stage of your life and another thing at another stage of our life? God is the only person alive who is right 100% of the time. That means we could be wrong. The more we're willing to recognize we might be wrong, the easier it will be to give others the benefit of the doubt and not be angry with them.
- Don't people please. When we people please, we feel like we have to act a certain way for people to like us. Because of that we often resent the people we're trying to please. We resent them for two reasons. First, we're mad we have to act a certain way for them to like us. (Even though we're often wrong about that. Often, they really will like us no matter what.) And second, we resent them because we may be doing things we don't want to do to make them happy. There's a big difference between people pleasing and doing things out of a sacrificial love for others. Either way we're doing things we don't want to do. But with sacrificial love, we feel like we have a choice. We're doing it as a conscious decision to love others well. With people pleasing, we feel like we have to do it–and that makes us annoyed.
- Don't compare your strengths to other people's faults. Often we get angry and think, Why can't this person be more like us? Well, here's the truth. They're not like us! They have different weaknesses and different strengths. When we compare our strengths to their weaknesses, we become angry with them. When we compare our weaknesses with their strengths, we become angry with us. Much better to stop comparing altogether!
- Be humble. (AKA recognize your own faults.) I found it was far easier to accept my husband's faults when I took a good hard look at my own faults. I started out thinking he was the bad guy. But after renewing and doing the option charts, I realized that I was also a bad guy! In fact, I may even have been the worst guy. This works with relationships, but it also works with politics. Instead of looking at the faults of the other political party, look at the faults of your own party. Neither party is perfect. I've also found it helpful to think of ten good things about the president in charge when it wasn't the president I voted for.
- Let go of unrealistic expectations. One of my friends once said, "If you keep expecting a person to act one way when he's always show himself to act another way, you're inviting yourself to be a victim all over again." One way to let go of anger quickly is to just say, "Of course he just did (or said) that. He always does (or says) things like that." Now granted, it's not true that he always does this. But the quicker we can recognize, that hey, he does things like this, the more we can just it go. Everyone has faults. We don't want to excuse things like actual abuse, but we also don't want to jump on every single fault. The more we practice the next tip, the happier we'll be.
- Give grace. Some people are natural grace-givers. I wasn't. The first time I learned how to give grace (back in those angry wife years), I couldn't believe how freeing it was. I went from thinking everyone had to act a certain way for me to be happy to being able to enjoy people in their as-is condition. It was life-changing. Just this incredible feeling of freedom and joy. God asks us to give grace, not just for others, but also for ourselves.
- Rely on God to get your emotional, relational, and safety needs met. I had a hard time deciding if this step should be "Learn to be content in all situations," "Don't expect others to make you happy," or "Rely on God to get your needs met." But the truth is that relying on God to get our needs met is what allows us to be content in all situations. When we feel things have to go a certain way for us to be happy, we'll be angry with anyone who keeps that from happening. But when we believe deep down that we only need God to be happy, we'll stop being mad at all those people who are getting in the way of our happiness. The key is to develop such a close walk with God that we actually experience Him meeting our needs. Here is a post and podcast on growing closer to God: 7 Ways to Get Closer to God.
- Work on changing whatever God wants you to change. Sometimes this will be your own heart--making a commitment to do some of the things I mentioned in this blog post. But other times it may be a plan to change the situation that's annoying you. For example, you may decide to go into politics or start a community program or stop watching the news. You may decide to put up boundaries or end a dating relationship or go to a counselor. Or you may just start by getting a Bible study that will help with your problem or doing an Internet search to see how others deal with it. It's good to work on problems. But it's far better to work on problems from a heart that feels that even if you don't come up with perfect solutions, life can still be good.
If you decide to make a project of letting go of anger, try to remember that life isn't fair, nor is it easy. Letting go of anger is an act of laying down your life to love others well. That's not easy. When I worked on it, I made a commitment to renew my mind every time I was annoyed with my husband. In two months, I saw a huge change in my attitude. It's worth going through the effort to let go of this emotion!
Jesus came to give us abundant life. That abundant life is only dependent on us walking in the Spirit. It's not dependent on us controlling all the people in our lives so they don't hurt us. It's also not dependent on all the leaders in the world making policies that will keep people safe and allow all of us to live the lives we want to live. The fruit of the Spirit includes love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and gentleness. All of those things are the opposite of anger. My prayer is that God will continue to help each of us grow in walking with Him so that each year, we see more of His fruit in our lives.
More Resources to Help You Stop Being Angry * On the podcast episode of this blog post, I go through the anger questions from I Deserve a Donut (and Other Lies That Make You Eat) and the Renewing of the Mind Project. If you'd like to hear what those look like in action, go to the podcast links at the bottom of this post and you can hear that at the xx minute mark. * The Live in Peace tab at the top of this blog: If you look under this tab, you'll see different emotions listed. Look under the anger heading and you'll find different posts on anger, resentment, and irritation. Also, read this post to find out how to make a project out of letting go of anger. * Renewing of the Mind Tools tab at the top of this blog: Click on the Renew Your Mind tab first, then the Renewing of the Mind Tools tab. This tab includes all kinds of resources to help you renew your mind. * Freedom from Emotional Eating: Although I don't have a Bible study on letting go of anger, I do have a whole chapter (5 lessons) on how to let go of anger in Freedom from Emotional Eating. The first chapter of this book is geared to letting go of emotional eating, but the rest of the book will be helpful for anyone as it deals with the negative emotions we all experience. * How to Stop Being Annoyed podcast episode * The podcast that goes with this blog post - the podcast is a bit different than the blog post so it may be helpful to listen to that as well. You can find the links below to listen to it - or just listen with the play button at the top of this post.
How to Listen to the Podcast * To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts: click here * To listen or subscribe on Android: click here * To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here * To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here * Amazon Alexa: To listen on Amazon Alexa, say, “Alexa, play the Christian Habits Podcast.”
How do you feel when you hear the phrase, New Year’s resolutions? Excited? Defeated? Skeptical? In recent years, New Year’s resolutions have gone out of style in favor of goals. The idea is that New Year’s resolutions are vague, so they don’t work—but goals are more defined with action steps, so they work. I disagree [...]
The post 10 Lies that Make Us Give Up on New Year’s Resolutions appeared first on Barb Raveling.
Have you ever been hurt by prejudice? Or have you watched others dealing with prejudice and wondered how you can help? On today's episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, I visit with my friend Ngina Otiende about how to heal and help.
Brad is an ordained minister with the Evangelical Free Church of America, and is a graduate of Columbia Biblical Seminary, with his Master of Divinity. He’s a certified biblical counselor with ACBC (Assoc. of Certified Biblical Counselors), author of the book Gospel Treason: Betraying the Gospel with Hidden Idols, as well as a national conference speaker. He and his wife, Vicki, have been married since 1986 and have five adult children.
Topics We Talked About on the Podcast:
- What is idolatry?
- Do you have idols?
- How do you know what your idols are?
- What are three questions you can ask to determine whether or not something is an idol?
- How does idolatry affect relationship and marriage?
- How do you break free from idolatry?
- How do you get to the point where you’re willing to let things go?
Resources We Talked About on the Podcast * Gospel Treason: Betraying the Gospel with Hidden Idols * Brad’s website: bradbigney.com * Brad’s sermon series on Idolatry * Lost in the Middle by Paul Tripp
Other Resources for Breaking Free from Idolatry * Counterfeit Gods, by Timothy Keller * Motives: Why Do I do What I do?, by Ed Welch * Barb’s blog series on Idolatry
How to Listen to the Podcast
- To listen or subscribe on Apple Podcasts:click here
- To listen or subscribe on Android: click here
- To listen or subscribe on Stitcher: click here
- To listen or subscribe on Google Play: click here
- To listen or subscribe on Spotify: click here
One of the things we tend to do during hard times is head to the refrigerator for comfort, excitement, or stress relief. The other night, the only thing that saved me from that was that I had no treats in the house–and didn’t want to go out to buy any with the coronavirus going around! [...]
The post How to Avoid Gaining Weight during Coronavirus appeared first on Barb Raveling.
Earlier this week, I was sitting at a restaurant in the Denver airport having a cup of coffee and journaling. I’d already sanitized my hands, checked the news for Montana (6 cases), and was wondering if I should sanitize my hands again since I’d just picked up the cream pitcher to pour cream in my [...]
The post Coronavirus Anxiety, Stress, and Boredom: 6 Tips + Facebook Live appeared first on Barb Raveling.
Do you ever agonize over decisions for days or even years? Do you wait until the last possible moment to make the decision so you can keep your options open? Do decisions stress you out? If so, today's episode of the Christian Habits Podcast will help.
We'll be talking about how to make decisions without going crazy. This was originally aired as a Facebook Live in June of 2019. But I've also included four new tips and a chance to renew your mind at the end of the podcast for a decision you're currently struggling with.
11 Tips for Making Decisions 1. Recognize that there are no perfect decisions. Often we head into a decision not just wanting to make a decision, but wanting to make the best decision possible: the perfect decision. Because there are no perfect decisions out there, we take forever to make the decision. After all, we're sure that if we just wait long enough the perfect solution will present itself. It's critical at the beginning of the decision making process to recognize that there are no perfect decisions. Each choice will have its advantages and disadvantages. That's why the next tip is so important. 2. Limit your options. One of the reasons we have such a hard time making decisions is because we have too many options. If you can narrow down the choices, it will be easier to make the decision. For example, when my friend Lauren and I used to go over to each others house after grade school, one of us would choose three games to play. The other person would narrow it down to two, then the person who started would eliminate the other. It was an easy way to decide which game to play. 3. Make a deadline for the decision and try to stick to the deadline. This is huge. Often we put off decisions for years that could easily be made much sooner. When we do that, we have constant low-grade stress hanging over us because the decision is always there in the background. If you don't want to make the decision now, just say, "I'm going to keep going as is and then revisit this decision in a year." Then don't think about it until next year. Which leads to the next tip. 4. Set a timer and only think about the decision when the timer is running. Too often we wear ourselves out thinking about the decision for hours on end. To avoid this energy drain, set a timer. You have x number of minutes to think and pray about your decision. When the buzzer rings, time’s up. No more thinking about the decision until your next decision-making session. 5. Use helpful tools and ask friends or mentors for advice. Here are a few things you can do in your decision-making sessions: Make a pro and con chart. Answer the decision questions from the Renewing of the Mind Project. Ask some friends for advice. Ask yourself, "What's my gut feeling?" These are all helpful ways to gain input. You can also use the decision making template or problem solving worksheet that I often use, which you can find at this link: Resources from Freedom from Procrastination Bible Study. 6. Pray for a set amount of time. If it's an important decision, you may want to make a commitment to pray about it for a few hours. I did this with the last book I wrote. I made a plan to pray for three hours before I chose the topic of the next book. I did this in 15 and 30 minute increments, often while walking. I felt far better about my decision than I usually do (and also didn't quit writing it halfway through like I often do) because I took so much time to pray about it. That said, it's possible you'll pray for three hours and still not have a feel for what God wants you to do. This leads to the next tip. 7. Recognize that God doesn't always care what decision you make. God gave us free will at great sacrifice to Himself. Why? Because He knew we would use our free will to hurt others and ourselves. If He knew we'd use free will to hurt ourselves, and maybe even walk away from Him, why would He give it to us? I think He gave it to us because He didn't want us to be perpetual teenagers. He wanted us to be free to make our own decisions. Often He'll have some boundaries for us but will give us free will for us within those boundaries. So for example with marriage, He tells us not to marry an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14), but He never tells us to make sure we marry the exact person He wants us to marry. I'll expound more on this in the podcast. 8. Renew Your Mind: When we take the time to renew our mind, we're taking the time to see the situation from God's perspective. Doing that often helps us realize that it's really not that big of a deal what we decide. And for the important decisions, renewing helps us remember that life is about God--not about making perfect decisions. If you want some questions to help you see your decision from a biblical perspective, try the Decision Making and God’s Will questions. (We'll be using these questions at the end of the podcast to renew.) 9. Find out why you’re so obsessed with the perfect decision. When I renew, I often find I'm caring more about something than God wants me to care about it. If we’re stressed out by decision making, usually it's because we want something: fun, success, comfort, approval, or even the best decision possible. The more we learn to make life about God, the less we’ll worry about perfect decisions. This leads to the next step. 10. Remember that you don't need to make perfect decisions (and have a perfect life) to be happy. Often we feel like we have to make the perfect decision so we can have the best life possible. But here's the truth: The best life possible is a life lived with God--loving Him with all your heart, soul, and mind. And after that, loving your neighbor as yourself. And joy comes from walking with the Spirit, not having a perfect lifestyle, perfect spouse, perfect job, etc! That's a super hopeful truth. Go ahead and make your best decision, but then let it go, knowing that you don't need perfect decisions to have a great life. 11. Make the decision and hold the outcome with open hands. Once you make the decision, embrace it! Dwell on the good of the choice you actually made. For example, if you decided to marry one person, don't think about how great that other person was that you used to date. Following are 4 things to accept, which will help you embrace your decision.
4 Things to Accept About Making Decisions
- You can't make everyone happy. Yes that's sad, but true. Different people want different decisions. Try to ask, "What would God want," since He's the best person to make happy?
- You can't always know God's will. It's important to ask God what He wants but we also have to face the fact that we can't always know what He wants. I'll expound more about this in the podcast.
- There are no perfect choices. Often we want the best decision possible, but here's the truth: there are no perfect choices. I've come to realize that usually there are a few 90s but rarely a 100. Each option has a different 90 and a different 10. Choose your 90. (I talk more about this in the podcast.)
- Your decision may not turn out well. If it doesn't turn out well, that doesn't necessarily mean you made a bad decision. You just made a decision with what you knew at the time, which was incomplete knowledge. You also made a decision at your then-current maturity level. You might make a different choice now. Thankfully we know that God causes all things to work together for the good to those who love Him - so we can sit back, breathe a sigh of relief, and thank God that He can redeem anything!
Do you ever feel like you’d like to start a new habit but you just can’t make yourself do it? In today’s episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, I interview Ian Warner, an expert on habit stacking. Ian created a habit tracking app. Interestingly enough, the number one positive habit that people want to build is reading the Bible each morning.
Do you ever feel like weight loss is a battle? Not just a one and done but a back and forth lose/gain experience? On today’s podcast, I visit with Sandy about the ups and downs of weight loss. Here’s a sampling of the topics we’ll be discussing. Topics we’ll be discussing: cheat days: are they [...]
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Do you ever find yourself annoyed with your husband because of something he did--or didn't--do? Often we let those annoyances build up until we're super unhappy in our marriages. In today's episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, I'll explain how to use option charts to improve your chances of having a happy Christian marriage.
Many of us are exhausted because we're not just trying to love people well--we're trying to please them. Make them happy--and often at all costs. On today's podcast, we'll talk about how to break free from people pleasing. My guest is Olu Sobanjo, host of the Like Jesus Podcast with Olu Sobanjo, where she shares tips and stories to show others how to be set free from people pleasing to live and love like Jesus lived and loved.
On today's episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, Olu and I discuss how people pleasing affects our work, relationships, and emotions. We'll also share tips about how to break free from it. If you struggle with people pleasing, I hope you'll join us for the discussion!
Resources We Discussed on the Podcast * Olu's podcast: Like Jesus Podcast with Olu Sobanjo * Olu's website: olusobanjo.com * Olu's quiet time guide
Do you ever find yourself setting boundaries for breaking a habit, then ignoring those boundaries and going your merry way, breaking your habit right and left? I know I do. This is especially common with non-sin habits. Because with those habits, we tend to think, Is it really that big of a deal if I practice my habit? The [...]
The post 7 Lies That Keep You From Breaking a Habit appeared first on Barb Raveling.
Do you ever find yourself setting boundaries for breaking a habit, and then ignoring those boundaries and going your merry way, breaking your habit right and left? If so, this episode of the Christian Habits Podcast will help. First, we'll talk about 7 lies that keep us from breaking a habit. Then we'll use the carelessness questions and Bible verses from the Renewing of the Mind Project to give you an opportunity to renew your mind while you listen to the podcast.
Do you ever find yourself worrying about your loved ones rather than praying for them? I know I do. A woman in one of my Bible studies once said that worry is the enemy's manipulation of prayer. In today's podcast, we'll be talking about how to pray for loved ones.
Do you ever wish you felt closer to God? In today's podcast we'll talk about 7 ways to get closer to God.
Do you ever wish you could change your spouse? Unfortunately, God hasn't given us that capability! Here are 10 tips that will help when you can't change your spouse.
Are you a Christian writer who struggle with finding your identity in Christ? Join Matt Rial and I as we discuss this on today's episode of the Christian Habits Podcast.
See also: Taste for Truth Christian Weight Loss Podcast. Click here for more info! Click here to view on iTunes. Do you ever feel like you can’t stop thinking about food? Or do you struggle with obsessing about losing weight, exercise, or eating healthy? If so, this interview with Asheritah Ciuciu on the Christian Habits Podcast will help!
We’ll be visiting about how to overcome food fixation, which she discusses in her new book which goes on sale today, Full: Food, Jesus, and the Battle for Satisfaction. I’ve previewed her book and it looks like a great resource.
Here’s a description of Asheritah’s book on Amazon:
“Have you ever felt stuck in a seemingly endless cycle of overeating, yo-yo dieting, and obsessive thoughts about food?
Whether you feel defeated by your lack of self-control or overwhelmed by thoughts and longings for food, the answer to our food fixation does not lie in the $500 billion global diet industry.
This is not a diet book and it’s not a healthy eating plan. Because at the core, our problem is not really what we eat. It’s why we seek fullness in something that will never satisfy.
Join Asheritah Ciuciu as she shares honestly about her own battles with food and reveals the path to freedom.
You’ll discover the joy of living free from food fixation so you can experience deeper satisfaction in Christ, gain a renewed sense of purpose, and yes, even enjoy good food (without regret).
A healthier relationship with food through a stronger relationship with Christ—that’s the goal of Full.”
Join us on the podcast as we discuss this book by Asheritah Ciuciu and the things in the book! Click here to see the book on Amazon.
Free Christian Mom Summit (Also Great if You’re Not a Mom!) This is a great series of interviews with Dr. Eve Rosno that I’ve found very helpful! It will run from 1/2/17 to 1/14/17 and I’ll be speaking on mindful eating on the 11th. Click here for details!
The post 32: Overcoming Food Fixation: Interview with Asheritah Ciuciu appeared first on Barb Raveling.
Do you ever feel like you can't stop thinking about food? Or do you struggle with obsessing about losing weight or eating healthy? We'll be talking about all three problems on this episode of the Christian Habits Podcast.
Have you ever met someone who reached out to you and seemed to like you right away? Have you ever wanted to be that person for someone else? In this episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, I’ll be visiting with Micah Brooks about how to treat everyone like a 10–whether you’ve known them for a long time or you’re just meeting them for the first time.
Micah wrote about this subject in a recent online devotion. Here’s an excerpt of his post:
“I believe that in life we tend to give everyone around us a score. We score people when we first meet them (first impressions) and when we’ve known them a while (built upon a list of their strengths and shortcomings). It’s probably pretty hard to get a “10 out of 10” on any one of our current people-scales.
However, a new way of thinking is to begin to score everyone a “10”. No one gets less. No one gets immediately criticized (in your mind) when you first meet them. Those you’ve known for a while get a free pass and become a “10” to you now.”
Micah’s post reminds me of Philippians 4:8, where Paul tells us to dwell on whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. That can be hard to do when you’ve been in a relationship with a person for a long time.
With those long-term relationships, we often begin to dwell on people’s faults because we know them so well. Not only does that make us discontent in the relationship, it also gets in the way of loving that person well.
In this podcast Micah will give us some insights on how to treat people that we’re in long-term relationships with as a 10 and also the people we meet each day. We’ll also be discussing how to treat others like a 10 when we feel like a zero.
Here are some of the Bible verses we mentioned on the podcast:
- Insecurity Bible verses
- John 15:12
- 1 Corinthians 13
- Philippians 4:8
- Matthew 22:36-40
We also mentioned some guitar books that Micah has published:
- Worship Guitar In Six Week (Micah’s book on Amazon)
- 42 Guitar Chords Everyone Should Know (Micah’s book on Amazon)
- Special offer: You can also find Micah’s books and all kinds of other great resources at micahbrooks.com, including guitar lessons via Skype! If you sign up for 6 weeks worth of lessons, Micah will give you the book “Worship Guitar in Six Weeks” for free with the lessons. Just mention that you heard about it on this blog post or the podcast.
Micah is also the editor in chief at worshippublishing.com where he oversees daily devotions, the WorshipHeart book publishing brand and more.
Micah Brooks
www.micahbrooks.com The post 31: Building Relationships: Treat Everyone Like a “10” appeared first on Barb Raveling.
Today I'm excited to have Micah Brooks on the Christian Habits Podcast. We'll be talking about a blog post Micah wrote called, "Treat Everyone Like a 10."
Do you struggle with procrastination? These questions and Bible verses will help you actually want to do your job!
See also: Taste for Truth Christian Weight Loss Podcast. Click here for more info! Click here to view on iTunes. Do you ever eat or do your habit out of boredom? Most of us do. On today’s episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, we’ll talk about how to stop boredom eating and boredom habiting.
It’s particularly tempting to give in to boredom eating and habiting when we’re in a long boring stretch of life or when we’ve just finished something exciting and are having a hard time adjusting back to real life.
That’s how I’m feeling today. I just got back from a super fun vacation–a biblical counseling conference, a couple of days with two of our adult children, and a 3 day backpacking trip in the gorgeous Beartooth Mountains–and this morning I’m having a hard time getting back to real life.
Knowing my tendencies after a vacation, I thought I better get started right away this morning renewing my mind. Fortunately I was in Galatians 5 for my daily quiet time, which was the perfect section of Scripture to renew my mind with.
We’ll renew our minds with that passage on the podcast and also with the boredom questions and Bible verses from I Deserve a Donut (And Other Lies That Make You Eat), but before we do that, let’s take a look at some practical things we can do to help with boredom eating and boredom habiting.
How to Stop Boredom Eating and Boredom Habiting If you want to stop boredom eating or boredom habiting, try this plan:
- Divide your day up into segments. It’s a lot easier to indulge in boredom eating and boredom habiting if you feel like the whole day is stretching out forever.
- Plan each segment of the day. What are you going to do during that time period? How much time do you have to fill before the next scheduled event? That scheduled event may be a meeting with a friend, a job, or an appointment, or it may just be a natural break of the day such as lunch or supper.
- Try to get out of the house if possible. As you plan your day, try to plan at least one thing that will take you out of the house at some point if you don’t have a job or other things that naturally take you out. This will break up the day a bit and help you since you won’t have a whole day at home to manage.
- Renew your mind throughout the day. It’s essential to do this so we change our thinking and look at life from God’s perspective. Take my day today, for example. I’m starting out from a “life should be fun!” perspective. After all, I’ve just been on vacation for six days. But that’s not what God says life is about. He says life is about loving Him and others–I have all kinds of opportunities to do that today. My backpack trip was a wonderful time of fellowship with God and fun with my husband, but I didn’t really get a lot of opportunities to love others on my trip. Today I will. That’s a good thing, not a bad thing!
Having my quiet time on the last morning of our trip.
If you’d like help renewing your mind, join me on the podcast. We’ll be talking about the following questions and Bible verses:
Boredom Questions 1. What do you feel like eating (or doing)? 2. Will you break a boundary if you eat (or do) that? 1. Yes: If so, which boundary will you break? Is that a good boundary? Explain. 2. No: If not, will you be more likely to break your boundaries later if you eat this? Why or why not? 3. How much time do you need to fill until your next meal or snack (or scheduled event)? 4. Would eating (or your habit) be a good way to fill this time? 5. What are some other things you could do with this block of time? List a few ideas. 6. What would be the best use of your time right now? 7. What would you gain by using your time this way? 8. Is there anything you need to accept?
Note: Click here for another set of questions you can journal through when you’re bored.
My favorite hiking partner. :) From a hiking trip we did in Canada near Jasper, Alberta.
Boredom Bible Verses Note: We’ll also be going over Galatians 5:13-25 on the podcast.
Psalm 18:29 For by You I can run upon a troop; and by my God I can leap over a wall.
2 Corinthians 12:9aAnd He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.”
Philippians 1:21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.
Philippians 4:19And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Timothy 6:7-8 For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.
1 John 3:16We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.
On mile 23 of the Beaten Path near Cooke City, Montana and 3 miles away from one of the best cheeseburgers I’ve ever had in my life!
How to Listen to the Christian Habits Podcast The easiest way to listen is to subscribe to the Christian Habits Podcast. Each episode will be delivered as soon as it comes out. If you aren’t subscribed, it may take a few hours to show up on iTunes. If you have a smart phone, you can download an app to listen to them on your android or iPhone. New phones usually have the app already installed.
To listen and subscribe on iTunes:click here
To listen and subscribe on Stitcher: click here
To listen to past episodes: click here to view on iTunes or see a list of episodes here.
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Do you struggle with emotional eating? If so, this podcast will help. We'll renew our mind together with the questions and Bible verses from I Deserve a Donut (And Other Lies That Make You Eat).
Do you ever find yourself eating or doing your bad habit when you're bored? In today's podcast we'll talk about how to go to God for help with boredom eating.
Do you ever know you need to do something, but you just can't make yourself do it? I have that problem quite a bit. So on today's episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, I decided to go through the dread questions from the Renewing of the Mind Project to help me get back to work after the long holiday weekend. If you're having a day where you dread your to do list, these questions will help.
Are you ever tempted to give into self-pity, bitterness, or blaming God? If so, today's episode of the Christian Habits Podcast will help. I'll be interviewing Joy Schroeder, a delightful and wise woman of God who was tempted by these things when she was paralyzed from the chest down in a car accident 29 years ago.
Do you ever feel overwhelmed because your time, house, desk, and/or life in general is unorganized? Today on the Christian Habits Podcast, Dr. Melanie Wilson will help us get organized.
Questions and Bible verses that will help you avoid holiday weight gain during the holidays.
Do you ever feel so overwhelmed you don't even know where to begin with the work that's on your plate?
Sometimes those overwhelmed feelings come from the work itself, but often they come from the other things: our attitudes, our fears, our desire to please others, and our doubts about being able to do the things on our to do lists.
Add that to the other things going on in our lives, and it's pretty easy to start feeling overwhelmed.
In today's podcast we'll be talking about the lies that make us feel overwhelmed and some tips and truths that will help us get over that stressed out feeling.
On today's episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, I'm excited to share an interview with Becca, who is working on a renewing of the mind project for both weight loss and insecurity. If you struggle with either of these, I think you'll find the interview helpful.
Here are a few of the things we'll be talking about on today's podcast:
- How to develop a consistent renewing-of-the-mind habit.
- Lies we believe that keep us from renewing of our minds.
- How to use the starting a habit questions and Bible verses in The Renewing of the Mind Project to help establish a renewing of the mind habit.
- The thoughts that precede a binge.
- What to do if you can't renew your mind right away after you break your boundaries.
- How to renew your mind if you're using calories or Weight Watcher's boundaries.
- How to renew your mind if you have young kids at home.
- Wanting a fun, problem-free life and how that interferes with weight loss.
In this podcast we'll be talking about four things you can do (note: I didn't say, "make your spouse do!") to not just tolerate your imperfect marriage, but to thrive in it! Here they are:
- Get rid of unrealistic expectations.
- Work on changing yourself, not your spouse.
- Develop an attitude of thanksgiving.
- Learn to rely on God to get your emotional needs met.
A couple of months ago a reader wrote to me, asking if I had ever considered writing a Bible study on depression. I hadn't, but I was interested in the subject so I asked her if she would be willing to visit over the phone about it.
She was, and we had such a great conversation that I was wishing I had taped it. So we decided to call each other again and tape it this time.
Unfortunately, we both live in small towns with slow internet so the quality of the sound recording wasn't always that great. I had to slice and dice it a bit, and every once in awhile you'll hear a small glitch in the recording, but when it happens it's just for a few seconds so if you keep listening, it will get better.
In this conversation we talk about:
- How sexual abuse in childhood may cause you to stuff emotions.
- Why you may not be very good at recognizing your emotions.
- How to figure out what emotion you're experiencing.
- Some emotions that may be causing your depression.
- The importance of going to God as soon as possible when something bad happens.
We had two more conversations after this one, which I'll try to fit into the next podcast. If you struggle with depression or how to recognize your emotions, I think this podcast will be helpful to you.
Do you ever struggle with getting things done? Do you ever obsess over your to do list? Would you like to learn how to get more done?
In today's podcast, Dr. Melanie Wilson of psychowith6.com shares 3 habits she learned from a year of living productively that will help you finish that to-do list and then forget about it.
During her year of productive living, Melanie tried out a different productivity program or tool each week. She then wrote a weekly blog post about her experience, sharing the things she liked and didn't like about the tool or program.
The posts are fascinating to read, and I've included a link to them below. Melanie shares three more habits in addition to the ones she shared on this podcast in today's blog post on her blog. Click here for that post: 6 Habits I Learned From a Year of Living Productively.
In this episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, we'll go through 12 questions that will help you let go of your anger when you're annoyed.
In this interview with Heidi Bylsa, we'll talk about how to experience joy in the midst of a difficult marriage. Heidi offers helpful advice whether your marriage is easy or hard.
In today's podcast with Ngina Otiende we'll be talking about:
- Working on your goals and dreams, even when it's difficult.
- Learning how to adjust to a different life than you’re used to living.
- Learning to trust God in the midst of uncertainty.
- Ngina also shares her story of moving to the States from Kenya three years ago. If you'd like to know more about her journey, click here.
In today's podcast we'll talk about 6 steps to breaking free from idolatry. This is podcast is based on a post I wrote last year, although I've changed the steps just a bit. To see that post, click here.
Do you ever feel like a complete and total failure? Do you ever feel like a mild loser? Either way, this podcast will help. We'll go through the self-condemnation questions and insecurity Bible verses from I Deserve a Donut with our own failures in mind.
Do you ever get tired of working on breaking that habit? I know I do.
In today's podcast we'll talk about 5 reasons we should keep working on those habits when it would be so much easier to give up.
Today I'm excited to share an interview I had with my friend Christina Smith.
We'll be talking about how to follow lifelong eating boundaries, how to break free from the idol of skinny, and how Facebook sometimes gets in the way of that.
Christina shares her journey and how God has helped her along the way. She also gives practical suggestions for change.
Do you ever feel like you can't break that habit that has been plaguing you all your life? In today's podcast we'll talk about three steps you can take if you want to break your habit.
In this episode of the Christian Habits Podcast, we'll talk about an attitude that keeps us from breaking our habits.
If you'd like help with breaking a habit, check out the breaking a habit tab at the top of barbraveling.com
Click here to see the questions on today's podcast.
Do you ever feel like you have to say yes when someone asks you to do something? If so, you may be a people pleaser.
In this podcast, we'll talk about 6 different things you can do if you want to break the habit of people pleasing.
We'll also renew our minds with the people pleasing questions from I Deserve a Donut.
Today I'm excited to share an interview with my friend Terry, who has lost 140 pounds over the last 2 1/2 years. Terry is the friend I talked about in the introduction to I Deserve a Donut (And Other Lies That Make You Eat). Terry has wonderful words of wisdom, and I know her interview will encourage you, no matter how many pounds you have to lose! In this episode, Terry shares how she renewed her mind the struggles she encountered along the way, and how her boundaries changed throughout the process.
Do you ever feel like life is too hard? Join us today as we renew our minds with the discontentment questions and Bible verses from I Deserve a Donut (And Other Lies That Make You Eat).
Welcome to the Christian Habits podcast! This is a podcast about transformation through the renewing of the mind (Romans 12:2).
We'll take a look at how to break free from our strongholds, idols, sin, habits, and negative emotions like anger, worry, insecurity, stress, and discontentment. Not so we can become perfect Christians, but so we can love God and others better and enjoy the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
We'll also be looking at how to start good habits, accomplish goals, and grow in our relationship with God. In this episode I share a little bit about my own experience with breaking habits, and give a brief overview of what you can expect in future episodes.