Podford Review: Recent Episodes
Podford Media
It's Podford Review, the podcast where we review everything in the world and get lost along the way. A proud member of the HyperX Podcast Network.
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Happy All Ghoul's Day! That's right it's almost Halloween and you know what we're going to do? We're going to review that skeleton and Snickers filled holiday. It's time to talk spooky and scary on a very special Podford Review... BOO!
Happy All Ghoul's Day! That's right it's almost Halloween and you know what we're going to do? We're going to review that skeleton and Snickers filled holiday. It's time to talk spooky and scary on a very special Podford Review... BOO!
You've heard of circles and I know you've heard of a square. But today it's time to let another shape shine! That's right we're finally talking gomboc, everyone's favorite shape that they haven't heard of yet. Get ready to hear our smart shape opinions.
Boo! Just kidding, hope that didn't scare you. Ghosts are on the review menu today and this episode is not for the faint of heart. Be prepared to have your pants scared off as we discuss ghost encounters and other garbage.
A chill is in the air and a pumpkin is in the spice. We're talking about everyone's favorite fall treat. We've gathered some orange goodies that smell and taste like some cinnamon. Welcome to Pumpford Spice Review.
A chill is in the air and a pumpkin is in the spice. We're talking about everyone's favorite fall treat. We've gathered some orange goodies that smell and taste like some cinnamon. Welcome to Pumpford Spice Review.
We all love a good video game. The beeps, the boops, using a controller and drinking a frosty Mountain Dew while we play. Today we'll be reviewing Immortality, a game that looks like a movie, but it isn't a movie. Will this game make us want to live forever or will it make us cry? Btw we all played this game.
We all love a good video game. The beeps, the boops, using a controller and drinking a frosty Mountain Dew while we play. Today we'll be reviewing Immortality, a game that looks like a movie, but it isn't a movie. Will this game make us want to live forever or will it make us cry? Btw we all played this game.
Rapid fire time. Rapid fire alert. Someone hit the rapid fire button because this is a rapid fire episode. We review like a million things real fast and real hard. If you can think it we can review it.
Rapid fire time. Rapid fire alert. Someone hit the rapid fire button because this is a rapid fire episode. We review like a million things real fast and real hard. If you can think it we can review it.
Vin's gone. For how long? Who could say... he went out to sea on one of his excursions and we haven't gotten word from him since last week. All we can do is hope for calm seas for his journey. Yes, hope... hope and REVIEW HIM. That's right Vin's on the chopping block this week!
Vin's gone. For how long? Who could say... he went out to sea on one of his excursions and we haven't gotten word from him since last week. All we can do is hope for calm seas for his journey. Yes, hope... hope and REVIEW HIM. That's right Vin's on the chopping block this week!
Brandon's under the weather this week as Joe and Vin access a different universe where there is no Brandon (yet). There they seek a guest for their very successful and thriving podcast. Things get other-worldly when a mysterious entity inserts Brandon into the pool of guest candidates at the 11th hour. Who will the boys choose? You'll have to suffer 70 minutes of this garbage to find out. Enjoy!
Brandon's under the weather this week as Joe and Vin access a different universe where there is no Brandon (yet). There they seek a guest for their very successful and thriving podcast. Things get other-worldly when a mysterious entity inserts Brandon into the pool of guest candidates at the 11th hour. Who will the boys choose? You'll have to suffer 70 minutes of this garbage to find out. Enjoy!
One of them went to Ireland, there he found himself. Found himself some fish and also chips lol. Chips by the way is how they say French fries in Ireland. It might seem like a strange land at first because of what they call French fries, but you'll soon discover that they say plenty of words like we do in America. We're reviewing Brandon's Ireland vacation.
I typed something up in advance for here and then I lost it. It doesn't matter. No one reads this. Frankly no one listens, so there's that. Thanks for tuning in, though! We review Brandon on this one.
When it comes to music it doesn't get better than when a guitar is involved. We can't argue that! But does a guitar worth more money sound better than a guitar made of a tissue box? We're going to find out when we review Taylor PS24ce-K Master-Grade Koa Limited-Edition Grand Auditorium Acoustic-Electric Guitar Shaded Edge Burst.
This time we're talking about the game we all know and love. That's right, it's the basketball episode. The three of us love this game and in this episode we’ll be taking a deep dive into NBA Free Agency. We’ll give you our thoughts and some hot takes. This one is shaping up to be a real slam dunk of an episode!
Superstitions! We've all got a cooky aunt or two that believes you must milk a water buffalo if you see a penny on the ground or whatever. But do we, as the wokest generation, subscribe to such fantastical tales of foreboding? Find out on this week's Review!
Hey. Joe here. Brandon and Vin decided to record an episode the night I had to miss our regularly-scheduled recording on account of having to take my son to the doctor. He came home with an ear infection and is doing great as of the release of this episode. I just wanted to say to you, the reading listener, that I'm a great dad, friend, and cohost and anything that the other two guys say about me on this episode is wrong unless they're being nice, in which case then they're telling the truth. End of disclaimer and thanks for continuing to support this podcast.
Many have asked, over the years, how we think of so many great topics and skits to bring to the show on a weekly basis. "Impossible!" many would say. And yet, here we stand brimming with content many of you could only hope to ever be responsible for. We thought we'd really pull out all the stops this week, though. We wanted those folks that are so impressed with us to just really have a good ol' heart attack. That's right. This week? We're reviewing not one, but eighteen individual and bespoke items so that you can be a better informed citizen and podcast listener. Strap in!
Guess we're at a point in the podcast where we're reviewing sinks. Not much to say about this, no one's happy about it, we're definitely not. Time to tell you what sinks do and how we feel about this. Just a reminder that two of us have children that we could be spending time with.
When it comes to celestial bodies, the sun is undoubtedly one of them. But not only that, it's probably the hottest one. When you see the sun there's no arguing that it's bright and it's also most likely daytime. Is the sun too hot though? Is it too big and yellow and bright? There's a lot going on with the sun and it's about time people like us got to the bottom of what makes that big, fat, orange ball of hot tick.
We're talking about the opposite of young. We're talking about what your grandma and grandpa are. When things aren't new they're old. When films were released last year and they were directed by M. Night Shymalan they're Old. Let's find out what we think about old things.
We've all heard of downstairs. Some of us even live downstairs. What does downstairs really mean to all of us, though? We're taking the time to really get to the bottom of what downstairs is on today's episode. We're going to show you how we feel about downstairs and you're going to listen to us.
Sivako! Welcome to Podford Review where today we'll take a trip to Pandora to discuss our feelings on the recently released trailer for Avatar 2: The Way of Water. Editor's note: it doesn't appear there is actually a '2' in the title of the film, but I'm going to leave it because I don't want to step on Brandon's toes. It's very exciting because this time around not only are the Na'vi tall, but now it seems that they are very wet. Does being wet change how they love? Does it change how think? We can't answer that, but we can tell you that they are still blue.
Paper or plastic? You won't be hearing that damn question anymore because the fat cats at big paper have decided to run a smear campaign on plastic bags and now they're no longer available at stores! At least that's our understanding of things, but politics aside how do we feel about plastic bags? What do we put in them and what do we take out? Will we be lost without them? Bring your totes with you because we're loading you up with our reviews of plastic bags, today on Podford Review!
Death: the great unknown. What lies beyond this mortal realm? Is there anything more once we leave our flesh vessels and depart this earth? None of these questions will be discussed, and rightfully so, because we could not hope to answer them. We will, however, be talking about whether cremation or burial is better, but also only for a few minutes. Did you know you can get a coffin shaped like a cool car? Pretty neat!
When it comes to man-made bodies of water that you can take a swim in, most people agree pools are the best way to go. But how do we feel about pools? Do we like to get wet? Does Vin regret using a non-smart phone to communicate with a certain, infamous love interest? You'll have to listen and find out. Surf is up!
We've got a lot of great tracks to share, talk over, and possibly get de-monetized over on today's Review. We're diving deep into Billy Joe's 12 Gardens Live Album, a collection of over 30 tracks that Vin was quite familiar with and that Brandon and Joe heard for the first time live during the recording. Another great episode, wow.
For our 10th episode, we've decided to really celebrate. Things are good, the world is right, and our outlook on life is as positive as ever. So, what better way to keep those good vibes going than by scouring Outback Steakhouse's mouth-watering menu, and holding a fantasy draft for a 4-course meal with your best buds? If you think of a better way, you can tweet at us or something because we're always on the prowl for great ideas, but in the meantime you can enjoy this podcast where we capture the aforementioned fantasy draft in audio form. You're welcome and enjoy!
Fantasy Draft Picks * Cocktails / Drinks + Joe: Sauza Gold Coast 'Rita + Brandon: Boomarita + Vin: NEW! Blueberry Lavender Lemonade * Appetizers + Vin: Aussie Cheese Fries + Brandon: Bloomin' Onion + Joe: Gold Coast Shrimp * Sides + Joe: Baked Potatoe + Brandon: French Onion Soup + Vin: Loaded Mashed Potatoes * Entrees + Vin: Bloomin' Fried Chicken Sandwich + Brandon: Bloomin' Burger + Joe: Bloomin' Friend Chicken * Coldies + All: Bloomin' Blonde Ale * 2nd Appetizer + All: Bloomin' Fried Shrimp * Desserts + Joe: Triple Layer Carrot Cake + Brandon: Thunder & Lightning + Vin: Salted Caramel Cookie Skillet
When it comes to a hot and spicy Cheeto you can't beat a Flamin' Hot Cheeto. This week we're discussing the spicy treat that people love to eat. We tried to reach out to Chester Cheetah for an interview, but he declined. We did not have a backup interview lined up and so our interview segment was more or less ruined, and therefore cancelled. Thank you for understanding.
Sometimes we walk to get to the store to buy more whipped cream, sometimes we walk to the university to get knowledge, and sometimes... well sometimes we walk to walk. We walk because it is good for our mind, body, soul, and hair. Today we're putting one foot in front of the other and taking our first steps toward reviewing a good 20 minute walk.
How did you handle the time change last week? Were you staying up late for it new-year-style? Or, were you maybe treating it more like Thanksgiving, like with a big turkey dinner or something? Or maybe you're vegetarian and you purchased a plant-based option instead to ring in the spring? Whatever your method, chances are you were as stoked as us to lose an hour of sleep last week. Behold, our review.
Rain, we all know it. But do we understand how it works? Do we know why the clouds cry and does their sadness help our crops grow? Let's take a few moments to dive into that wet stuff that falls from the sky!
Wedding background music: Ain't Misbehavin by The Underscore Orkestra, licensed under the Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 license (US).
Have you ever wanted to know what outer space tastes like? Have you ever wanted to put a star in your mouth? Have you ever wanted to suck on the moon or watch a tiny, augmented reality concert? Well we're trying all of that and more when we review Coca Cola Starlight, today on Podford Review, so you don't have to!
By now you've all heard of that big, beautiful bear who enjoys eating human food and destroying weird rich people's homes. On today's episode we'll be getting into great detail on this big big bear (who may or may not be lying about his weight). Is the big good bear a villain or is he a real life superhero? Listen to us and let us tell you what to think.
- Disclaimer: At the time of release, no one has been injured by Hank The Tank.
- Disclaimer 2: At the time of recording, we didn't know that Hank The Tank is actually a group of bears committing crime in California.
Wow, what can we say about Hey Arnold! that hasn't already been said? Not much it turns out, but here's 80 minutes to the contrary. Enjoy and stick around after the episode for our DVD commentary of the first episode of this beloved '90s cartoon.
Welcome to the brand new Podford Review. We're excited to share our expertise with the world. I mean, that's what you do when you've graduated college, right? You tell everyone all the stuff you've learned. So, that's what we're doing today and on every episode of Podford Review: giving you our opinion on a thing so you don't have to think for yourself.
"In an effort to minimize his contribution to the show this week, due to a nasty bout with the novel coronavirus, we relegated Vin to being stuck in a well, several feet away from Brandon and Joe. This created a divide just large enough that Vin's reduced role was seen as deliberate. This is the kind of thing they don't teach you in podcast school. You either have it or you don't."
- The Director
2022 is upon us and that means looking back on a full 12 months of learning, educational prosperity, and some very meaningful college experiences. So, as to not bore you with words because this product is foremost an audio experience, Podford University presents to you their 2021 Retrospective.
When you think about the holidays I bet the first thing that comes to mind is Tim Allen in The Santa Clause. I bet the second thing that comes to mind is all the great food you get gobble up alongside your loving family. So, what better way to celebrate this twinkly time of year than by hearing your favorite podcast hosts' favorite holiday recipes? That's right: the Podford boys are going to share the holiday recipes that make their Christmases merry and bright with you, the listener! Take notes and enjoy these with your family. There will be a quiz.
Jess goes on the greatest first date of her life, but inadvertently "ghosts" Ben when she tragically dies in a car accident on the way home. * Director + Theresa Bennett * Writer + Laura Donney * Stars + Aisha Dee + Kimiko Glenn + Kendrick Sampson
You've got another thing coming if you thought the Podfordcast was going to skip Thanksgiving this year. Sure, it's over a week after Thanksgiving, and sure there's really no excuse we could give that would explain why we still think it's appropriate to release this episode, but we're going to do it anyway. And, you're going to like it. Now shut up, and please enjoy this year's Podford University Thanksgiving Spectacular, belated or not.
With the holidays right around the corner the boys have decided to treat everything like business as usual. This means they're coming at us very hard and wet with a big nautical theme in this episode. Boats, fish, water, maybe an anchor. Don't know how to swim? Scared of sharks, whales, etc? Grab a lifejacket! Now that I'm saying it out loud, there's also a space-faring theme present in the back half of the show, and the beginning of the episode starts with a circus bit, so honestly, I'm not sure there's anything to really make this episode stand out from the others, but please enjoy.
Let's not beat around the bush here... it's November so we're going to be like every other podcast and go with the cliche of having tons of horse content to celebrate Neighvember. Horses are just as much a part of November as ghosts are to October and rum balls are to December. Get your feedbag on, clean your stable, and put on your headphones to dive headfirst into some heavy equine content from the boys.
Did someone say Wall Street? We've got a few guests dropping in today and these guys don't have time for small talk, they've only got time for big money. So strap on your best suit because we're talking business! We're also smack dab in peak pumpkin season, my babies! You know we've gotta talk about those round, orange pie ingredients. Get your pie dish and your lattes ready because Podford's here
Well well well... if you're a salad fan the boys have you covered this week. What's better than three good friends talking about delicious greens and how they like to eat them? I'll tell you what - A TRIP BACK TO BEAR LAW. That's right, your favorite attorneys trained in ursine law are back to teach you a lesson. Get your good headphones ready, this is a heck of an episode.
Netflix's Squid Game
- Creator: Hwang Dong-hyuk
- Starring: Lee Jung-jae, Park Hae-soo, Wi Ha-jun
- About: Hundreds of cash-strapped players accept a strange invitation to compete in children's games. Inside, a tempting prize awaits — with deadly high stakes.
Gather round all ye faithful students and alumni, for today a certain rounded bread food is on the menu at Podford University. The boys also discuss a certain cereal and a very clever Danish artist. And let us not forget to mention another installment of our favorite bird-related segment on the Podfordcast. Oh yeah, also Vin was bitten by an animal.
Another year at Podford University and most of the boys are entering their sophomore year at this prestigious university. We're coming back stronger than ever and with an even more insatiable hunger for knowledge. Join the boys as they give you a news recap and keep you up to date on what's going on in the world. Let's take a look around campus as well to see what we can learn.
Extra! Extra! Behold all the news that's fit to Pod! That's right, we're back in the newsroom (minus Jeff Daniels) because the world has simply not slept! What can you look forward to this time? How about new foodstuffs? How about a new type of daddy? How about a dead painter? The world is full of interesting stories and we're here to tell you about them.
Extra extra! Read all about it! This just in: Podford University is now in the news business! That's right, you read that correctly. You can now get all of your news from Podford University. All of it. Pop culture, business, world affairs... Podford covers it all!
Listen, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that this week's episode is important or even good. We just didn't want to skip another week, OK? So, there you have it: check out our shortest episode to date, the one where Joe and Vin can't find Brandon. Where could he be, pray tell?
The final frontier, some might say (especially those that lived in ancient times, before the thought of space exploration was ever considered possible or desirable), is our Earth's vast oceans. Blue as far as the eye can see in all directions, the ocean provides a domestic option for the adventurous type, one all too familiar to the boys this summer. They've charted a course home, poorly and hastily, and find themselves paddling back to Podford. We can only hope they've stored enough rations for the long and treacherous journey home.
Soooop, friends! Saseezum, I hope all of you hum-uhh, er... regular listeners are ready for a regular episode of the Podfordcast! Our three normal hosts with human names discuss the happenings on the Podford campus, such as 'what is for Earth Lunch this week'? Also, please be aware of the opposite-side street parking situation at Magnolia until Rorze Moon Gormaf, saseezum. Please enjoy this very normal episode.
On this week's Game Club, the boys decide to take things a little slower as they delve into a visual novel. It's summer time, time to take it easy! What better way to relax than by playing a calming dating sim. Our humble hosts will discuss the poetry of Doki Doki Literature Club and which of the ladies they each decided to woo. So listen up and join the club!
DISCLAIMER: All 3 hosts are at least 18 years of age.
About Today's Episode:
- Game: Doki Doki Literature Club!
- Developer: Team Salvato
- The Literature Club is full of cute girls! Will you write the way into their heart? This game is not suitable for children or those who are easily disturbed.
School may be out, but the Podfordcast never takes a break - kind of like the US Postal Service. The boys are on a luxurious private beach and decide to record square in the middle of the resort's finest hotel lobby. Curious to know about their accommodations? Need to know what Vin thinks of the continental breakfast? Well, you're in for a treat because that's what you'll get on this episode.
Oh, and don't forget to keep your eyes peeled for mahi-mahi so that you might also enter the Mahi-Mahi Spotting Challenge, held at this sweet resort, every single day!
Podford Film Club is an off-shoot of Podford University, the Satirical College Podcast. Podford University can be found wherever podcasts are sold or stolen. We hope, if you enjoy our movie discussion, you might give our other episodes a try. Thanks for listening!
There's nothing better than a big-budget, blockbuster film to make it feel like summer has arrived! Can our boys be big and brave enough to endure the third entry in The Conjuring Conjurverse? Grab your holy water, your anti-devil stick, and also DEFINITELY grab your demon-slaying sword because on today's Podford Film Club, the boys are watching The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It.
About Today's Episode:
- Film: The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It
- Director: Michael Chaves
- The Warrens investigate a murder that may be linked to a demonic possession
Podford Game Club is an off-shoot of Podford University, the Satirical College Podcast. Podford University can be found wherever podcasts are sold or stolen. We hope, if you enjoy our video game discussion, you might give our other episodes a try. Thanks for listening!
It doesn't look like the boys will be able to get to space anytime soon since the Podford Intergalactic Space Station is still a year away from full accreditation! However, the boys do have access to the Podford Arcade and inside that arcade, there's a little-known space adventure called Mass Effect. Join the boys as they discuss space flying, space kissing, space politics, as well as what kind of space commander they role-played as. Now, let's reach for the stars... the ones that are in space!
About Today's Episode:
- Game: Mass Effect
- Developer: Bioware
- What starts as a routine mission to an agrarian outpost quickly becomes the opening salvo in an epic war. As the newly appointed Executive Officer of the SSV Normandy, you'll assemble and lead an elite squad of heroes into battle after heart-pounding battle. Each decision you make will impact not only your fate, but the destiny of the entire galaxy in the Mass Effect trilogy.
Graduation day is upon us! It’s an exciting day, not just for the graduating seniors, but for all the students who will move up in the Podford ranks this coming fall semester. And, let us not forget the fresh batch of incoming Podford students joining us in September. Alas, we're getting ahead of ourselves. Let's focus on the now and reflect on our time here at Podford... oh and let's also reflect on... SUMMER VACATION.
Podford Game Club is an off-shoot of Podford University, the Satirical College Podcast. Podford University can be found wherever podcasts are sold or stolen. We hope, if you enjoy our video game discussion, you might give our other episodes a try. Thanks for listening!
The boys put on their bravest faces and attempt to discuss something very, very spooky. On this week's Podford Game Club, the brave boys are diving deep into the latest installment in the long-running and very scary Resident Evil series, Resident Evil Village. We ask that you please listen along because this all might be far too frightening for Joe, Vin, and Brandon to handle alone. I hope there aren't any Frankensteins in that village...
About Today's Episode:
- Game: Resident Evil Village
- Developer: Capcom
- Experience survival horror like never before in the 8th major installment in the Resident Evil franchise - Resident Evil Village. With detailed graphics, intense first-person action, and masterful storytelling, the terror has never felt more realistic.
It’s finals week! Whoops, actually, it turns out the boys got their wires crossed and, in fact, last week was finals week. Don’t you hate when that happens? Anyway, so the boys made a big mistake: they missed their final examinations completely and are posed with their greatest collegiate challenge yet: to face their parent’s scrutiny head-on or conceal the truth via nefarious and unethical means. Obviously, the boys do the dishonorable thing as they go to great lengths to change their grades from “N/A” to just “A” … join us for all this and more on today’s Podfordcast.
They say, "If you want something done right, you'd better do it yourself" and this holds true as ever on Podford campus this week. Gerald, beloved Dean and founder of his titular university, has decided to re-instantiate one of the school's oldest traditions. And let me stop you now: "but the annual foot race tradition has been maintained even in Gerald's absence" ... Yes, you're quite right. However, Gerald is here to ensure that the foot race is carried out in the manner in which it was originally intended: with consequences. So, if you've like to learn what Gerald's terms are for participating in the annual foot race, be sure to tune in to another great episode of today's show.
Well, there's good news and bad news for discussion on this week's Podfordcast. However, with every storm comes a rainbow. The on-campus party sanction has been rescinded due to the brutal and avoidable murder of Sarah Cars' boyfriend by the dastardly Carmicheal Von Smaps; a sad day for all students who enjoy partying with their collegiate peers. The good news, however, is that the mold in Rasputin Hall has, shockingly, proven helpful! The boys discuss all of this and more in detail on today's pod.
This episode is dedicated to all the students who have lost their right to party on campus.
Saturday Night Live is the property of Lorne Michaels Universal Television. Podford University does not intend to position any of the Saturday Night Live music heard on this episode as its own.
Podford Film Club is an off-shoot of Podford University, the Satirical College Podcast. Podford University can be found wherever podcasts are sold or stolen. We hope, if you enjoy today's discussion, you might give our other episodes a try. Thanks for listening!
About Today's Episode:
- Film: Mortal Kombat (2021)
- Director: Simon McQuoid
- Starring: Lewis Tan, Jessica McNamee, Josh Lawson
- MMA fighter Cole Young seeks out Earth's greatest champions in order to stand against the enemies of Outworld in a high-stakes battle for the universe.
Mold issues in Rasputin Hall? Harvard spies roaming the campus? There sure seem to be a lot of issues plaguing Podford these days. But, that won't get our fearless hosts down. With every night there comes the dawn, with every tunnel, a bright light beckoning… Anyway, Podford's Office of Student Affairs is allowing on-campus partying, so the boys have shared a few fun party facts! Party on... safely!
Podford Game Club is an off-shoot of Podford University, the Satirical College Podcast. Podford University can be found wherever podcasts are sold or stolen. We hope, if you enjoy our video game discussion, you might give our other episodes a try. Thanks for listening!
About Today's Episode:
- Game: MLB The Show
- Developer: SIE San Diego Studio
- OWN THE SHOW! Experience faster, deeper and more intense moment-to-moment match action on the field, with a variety of game modes for all you rookie players and returning seasoned vets.
Smoking cigarettes are dangerous to your health. Podford University does not condone the smoking of cigarettes or other forms of tobacco. We do, officially, condemn the behavior of our Dean and staff that were roped into his money-making scheme. We ask that you, the listener, pay special attention to the action of one "Brandon", the co-host of the Podfordcast frequently described as "the dumb one." His actions, perhaps most of all, are actions especially worthy of ignoring. We thank you for reading this disclaimer and hope you enjoy today's episode despite the warnings.
Podford Film Club is an off-shoot of Podford University, the Satirical College Podcast. Podford University can be found wherever podcasts are sold or stolen. We hope, if you enjoy today's discussion, you might give our other episodes a try. Thanks for listening!
About Today's Episode:
- Film: Godzilla vs. Kong
- Director: Adam Wingard
- Starring: Alexander Skarsgård, Millie Bobby Brown, Rebecca Hall
- The epic next chapter in the cinematic Monsterverse pits two of the greatest icons in motion picture history against one another - the fearsome Godzilla and the mighty Kong - with humanity caught in the balance.
Happy Tiki Barber Day! Podford University's annual reminder to 'not fumble your homework' is finally here! But, that isn't the only cause for excitement this week; The school is holding its very first swamp dog adoption drive. The swamp dog epidemic, as you likely know, has plagued this campus for decades and the Office of Student Affairs has decided it's high time we did something about it. So, please be sure to take some time to visit Rasputin Hall B today through Sunday and adopt one of these wet, lovable pups. Oh and don't forget... keep it high and keep it tight!
Podford Film Club is an off-shoot of Podford University, the Satirical College Podcast. Podford University can be found wherever podcasts are sold or stolen. We hope, if you enjoy today's discussion, you might give our other episodes a try. Thanks for listening!
About Today's Episode:
- Film: Zack Snyder's Justice League
- Director: Zack Snyder
- Starring: Henry Cavill, Ben Affleck, Gal Gadot
- Determined to ensure Superman's ultimate sacrifice was not in vain, Bruce Wayne aligns forces with Diana Prince with plans to recruit a team of metahumans to protect the world from an approaching threat of catastrophic proportions.
Spring break! Spring break! That's right! Spring break is finally here and the entire PU campus is on island time! That's because, here at Podford, spring break is celebrated together. That doesn't mean the Podfordcast is on vacation, though. No, quite the opposite, in fact. The boys will be recording a live episode straight from the beach, today! So come and enjoy the sounds of the ocean as they mingle with the even more beautiful sounds of Joe, Vin, and Brandon.
Podford Game Club is an off-shoot of Podford University, the Satirical College Podcast. Podford University can be found wherever podcasts are sold or stolen. We hope, if you enjoy our video game discussion, you might give our other episodes a try. Thanks for listening!
About Today's Episode:
- Game: Undertale
- Developer: Toby Fox
- A small child falls into the Underground, where monsters have long been banished by humans and are hunting every human that they find. The player controls the child as they try to make it back to the Surface through hostile environments, all the while engaging with a turn-based combat system with puzzle-solving and bullet hell elements, as well as other unconventional game mechanics.
Get your shorts and sports goggles ready because there's a potent madness consuming Podford University and all of her students and faculty. March Madness, that is. For the 24th year running, The Podford Basketball Jogging Bears are "on the bubble" (a term that refers to fringe teams fighting for admittance into the tournament proper). To get themselves and the campus into the spirit of the moment, the boys invite none other than Ditch Marnhardt, NCAA Committee Chairman, onto the Podfordcast. He joins the gang, calling in to talk about "ball" and his opinion on basketballs, in general. Don't forget to cheer on our team, especially Joe who will be starting at the coveted Small Guard position this evening! Go Bears!
Podford Game Club is an off-shoot of Podford University, the Satirical College Podcast. Podford University can be found wherever podcasts are sold or stolen. We hope, if you enjoy our video game discussion, you might give our other episodes a try. Thanks for listening!
About Today's Episode:
- Game: Yes, Your Grace
- Developer: Brave At Night
- In this Kingdom management RPG, where your decisions have consequences, petitioners will arrive in the throne room to ask for your guidance. Every turn, decide whether to intervene with their problems or conserve resources for more important matters. Remember, your capital is limited, and not everyone has the Kingdom's interests at heart...
We've got exciting news! Well, that is unless you're lactose intolerant or vegan or hate ice cream. What's the news, you ask? Unfortunately, you'll have to listen to today's Podfordcast for more information. If I answered that question in the show notes, then no one would listen to our Podfordcast. But anyway, ice cream's big debut at Podford isn't the only exciting thing on the agenda this episode! Oh no. There, I ruined the surprise. Now you don't have to listen to the episode. At any rate, we also have some really interesting financial aid information to share with our listeners!
We've got lots of big news coming in today, especially for those of you that don't enjoy eating chalk instead of real food. A strange request from our dutiful dean has the boys open the call lines. As a result, some of Podford University's best and brightest call in to inquire about this and a few other on-campus developments. Also, if you're not sure what petty cash is, you're in luck because you (and Brandon) are about to learn!
Art imitates life. This is a truth discovered by some of the greatest minds our human race has to offer. What if, however, life imitates art? Then what? Well, we hope to answer that question on today's episode of Podford University wherein one Gerald Podford invites us into the basement laboratory of his Dean's Mansion to present the primary reason for all of our pigeon-related efforts these past few weeks. It is a sight to behold, to be sure. Before this basement visit, though, we have another strange and alluring development to sift through. We all remember parkour fondly. We remember planking and all of the amusing youtube videos it produced. But now, listener, its time to get back to basics: pure and simple jumping. Jumping. Fad? Perhaps. Only time will tell.
Episode Outline
- Podford University Podfordcast
- Quad Remote Meditation Station: Next Donut
- Topic Deep Dive: Jumping!
- Question Quorner
- Podford Concert Orchestra
- Fish Lab 208
- On-Campus Activity
Learn more about today's episode at Podford University's Official website, podford.com. You can write-in to our show by contacting us at registrar [at] the aforementioned domain.
This episode features the works of Johann Sebastian Bach, courtesy of the fine folks at Musopen: Goldberg Variations, BWV. 988 - Variation 8.
Love is in the air here at Podford University as Valentine's Day rears it's heart-shaped-head and emerges onto campus. The boys dive head-first into the topic of Valentine's Day and discuss what it is that makes someone's heart beat faster. Oh, and don't forget that our annual Valentine's Day Shark Ball is coming up and as always, if you don't want to get wet... STAY OUT OF THE SPLASH ZONE.
Episode Outline
- Podford University Podfordcast
- Quad Remote Meditation Station: Confusing Motive
- Topic Deep Dive: Valentine’s Day is Coming Up So We’re Talkin’ Love, My Babies
- Question Quorner
- Show and Tell 409
- Math 55,000
- On-Campus Activity: The Annual Valentine's Day Shark Ball featuring the Duke of Valentines
Learn more about today's episode at Podford University's Official website, podford.com. You can write-in to our show by contacting us at registrar [at] the aforementioned domain.
The day of the groundhog is upon us! Will Podford have 6 more weeks of winter classes or will spring classes begin early this year? Only the hog's shadow knows the answer. The infamous Groundhog's Day tradition is steeped with rich lore and no other college in the country takes it more seriously than Podford. Join the boys in a discussion about the noble groundhog and also there is a new window or something on the floor.
Episode Outline
- Podford University Podfordcast
- Quad Remote Meditation Station: Twin Cruisers
- Topic Deep Dive: The History of Groundhog's Day
- Question Quorner
- Intro to Theater
- Fish Lab 208
- Off-Campus Activity
Learn more about today's episode at Podford University's Official website, podford.com. You can write-in to our show by contacting us at registrar [at] the aforementioned domain.
Art... what is it? What does it mean to us? Is art paintings? Is it a good drawing of an elephant? What about this podcast? Is it art? The boys discuss a recent on-campus art exhibit and give their thoughts on what they saw, what art means to them, and if they participated. Also, let's not forget about the annual Winter Collegiate Job Fair taking place in the Cormac Gondolo Gymnasium. The job fair promises to be the perfect place to find your true calling and some information on capturing a certain variety of pigeon.
Episode Outline
- Podford University Podfordcast
- Quad Remote Meditation Station: Sacred Cul-de-sac
- Topic Deep Dive: Our Review of Podford's Recent Art Exhibit
- Question Quorner
- Future History 101
- Marketing 101
- On-Campus Activity
Learn more about today's episode at Podford University's Official website, podford.com. You can write-in to our show by contacting us at registrar [at] the aforementioned domain.
Prepare yourselves, Podford students, because some very exciting chalk news is coming your way in this episode. Don't worry, we won't ruin the surprise here, but let's just say we hope you've got an appetite! The boys also take a deep dive into those beautiful unicorns of the sea called Narwhals. That's right, Narwhals! Many of you may think that Narwhals aren't real, but they are. You'll be positively shocked to hear what the boys have to say about them.
Episode Outline
- Podford University Podfordcast
- Quad Remote Meditation Station: Ham PIllow
- Topic Deep Dive: The History of Narwhals
- Question Quorner
- Podford Concert Orchestra
- Fish Lab 208
- On-Campus Activity: Visiting Gerald Podford's Mansion
Learn more about today's episode at Podford University's Official website, podford.com. You can write-in to our show by contacting us at registrar [at] the aforementioned domain.
This episode features the works of Alexander Borodin and Felix Mendelssohn, courtesy of the fine folks at Musopen:
- Borodin - In The Steppes of Central Asia
- Mendelssohn - Symphony No. 4 in A Major, Op. 90 'Italian' - III. Con moto moderato
An important announcement from the Health and Wellness staff arrives in the nick of time. Please be sure to listen to today's episode for best practices on how to stay safe during your [officially non-sanctioned] night hike in the woods surrounding Podford. But it's not all gloom and doom around here: the boys take a deep dive into the world of ballet as they discuss and give their opinions on Podford's Holiday Nutcracker Ballet Special. They are madly into the world of fancy dancing so this chat promises to be highly informative.
Episode Outline
- Podford University Podfordcast
- Quad Remote Meditation Station: Interpretive Stance
- Topic Deep Dive: Our Review of Podford's "The Nutcracker" Winter Ballet
- Question Quorner
- Inside the Snacktor’s Studio
- On-Campus Activity: Mrs. Schmates Rescue
- Off-Campus Activity: Magnum Orchid Night Hike
Learn more about today's episode at Podford University's Official website, podford.com. You can write-in to our show by contacting us at registrar [at] the aforementioned domain.
A new year is up on us and your boys are ready like always. On today’s episode, they’ll review their new year resolutions and look inspire you to make your own (which must come in the form of choosing one of theirs - we don't make the rules). Oh, and don’t forget about Podford's annual New Year’s Eve party tonight, come and get a slice of 2021 Midnight Cake!
Episode Outline
- Podford University Podfordcast
- Quad Remote Meditation Station: Pants Marxism
- Topic Deep Dive: Our New Year's Resolutions
- Question Quorner
- Pasta History 306
- Fish Lab 208
- Going to a Party
Learn more about today's episode at Podford University's Official website, podford.com. You can write-in to our show by contacting us at registrar [at] the aforementioned domain.
Christmas is in the air here at Podford University and that means everything smells like pine trees and holiday pizza. What's holiday pizza, you ask? Ho ho, are you in for a treat because on this episode, the boys are going to show you how to make traditional holiday pizza (of yore). This is a fine Podford Christmas tradition if there ever was one. Oh, but be ever so careful how much you eat... lest you end up like our dear curmudgeonly Uncle Pete! And away we go!
Musical selections from this episode include but are not limited to:
- Beethoven's Symphony No. 3 in E Flat Major Eroica, Op. 55 - II. Marcia funebre Adagio
- Mendelson's Ma Vlast (My Fatherland) - Vltava
- Beethoven's Coriolan Overture-12
Learn more about today's episode at Podford University's Official website, podford.com. You can write-in to our show by contacting us at registrar [at] the aforementioned domain.
The holidays are nearly here and, as we all know, this is the driest time of year for the human body. Your favorite podcast boys would like to give some helpful tips and tricks on how to stay hydrated during these exceptionally dry holiday times. As you certainly already know, one must always practice good hydration during these dark winter months so as not to fully dry out the mind, body, and soul. Also, the boys receive a very rude question from a student at a rival institution which, if you've been paying attention, is especially odd considering the Podfordcast is not officially syndicated outside the bounds of the campus.
Episode Outline
- Podford University Podfordcast
- Quad Remote Meditation Station: Moonlit Breakfast
- Topic Deep Dive: How to stay hydrated this Holiday Season
- Question Quorner
- Future History 101
- Podford Concert Orchestra
- Show and Tell 409
Learn more about today's episode at Podford University's Official website, podford.com. You can write-in to our show by contacting us at registrar [at] the aforementioned domain.
This episode features the works of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, courtesy of Mozart and the fine folks at Musopen:
- Oboe Concerto in C, K.314/271k - II. Andantino
- Symphony No. 3 in E Flat Major Eroica, Op. 55 - IV. Finale Allegro molto
December is upon us and that means many of us are rushing to find the perfect gift for that special someone(s) in our lives. Luckily for you, the boys have compiled a handy list of treats, covering every conceivable base, effectively neutralizing all holiday shopping anxiety for the show's listenership. So, you don't have to fret about getting the perfect Podford present. I repeat: do not worry about holiday shopping. We've got you covered. Oh, and we have some hot and spicy news about everyone's favorite round, crunchy food said to be making a big splash on campus!
Episode Outline
- Podford University Podfordcast
- Quad Remote Meditation Station: Grass Carpet
- Topic Deep Dive: Holiday Shopping Tips & Tricks
- Question Quorner
- Fish Lab 208
- Bear Law 103
- Pod on the Rocks
Learn more about today's episode at Podford University's Official website, podford.com. You can write-in to our show by contacting us at registrar [at] the aforementioned domain.
It seems like just yesterday our hosts began their journey down the long and winding road that is the Podfordcast. Yet, here they find themselves at a milestone unlike any that's come before: the 10th episode. Today the boys take the time to interview a few very important guests, but you'll have to listen to the show to learn who they are. Do not put up a fuss about this. We're not budging on the matter. Listen to the show and you will be rewarded with the knowledge of who the boys are interviewing and I won't hear another word about it.
Episode Outline
- Podford University Podfordcast
- Quad Remote Meditation Station: Virtual Shirts
- Topic Deep Dive: Podfordcast Host Interview
- Question Quorner
- Math 55,000
- Future History 101
- Annual Battleship Fundraiser to benefit The Cormac Gondolo Peacetime WMD Foundation
Learn more about today's episode at Podford University's Official website, podford.com. You can write-in to our show by contacting us at registrar [at] the aforementioned domain.
This is quite an exciting time on campus. You see our beloved founder has somehow gained back his position as Head Dean (Wizard) of Podford University, despite the fact that he was born in the 1700s. But, we don't attend school to ask questions, we attend to learn questions. With all of this excitement you may have forgotten that this week is Thanksgiving. But, fear not. Our hosts would never forget. Today they'll take some time to meditate on what they're truly thankful for.
Episode Outline
- Podford University Podfordcast
- Quad Remote Meditation Station: Multiple Weddings
- Topic Deep Dive: Thanksgiving: What We're Most Thankful For
- Question Quorner
- Pasta History 306
- Inside the Snacktor’s Studio
- Fish Lab 208
Learn more about today's episode at Podford University's Official website, podford.com. You can write-in to our show by contacting us at registrar [at] the aforementioned domain.
Thanksgiving is right around the corner and we all know what that means! No, not turkey, but good guess! Thanksgiving means travel for many of the students and staff here at Podford University. And around the holidays, for all the joy they bring, travel sure can be hectic. Lucky for you, we have some very helpful hosts that are poised to provide their beloved listeners with some Grade A travel advice. Stay vigilant, Podford. Stay Safe. Good tidings.
Episode Outline
- Podford University Podfordcast
- Quad Remote Meditation Station: Bright Memory
- Topic Deep Dive: Thanksgiving Travel Tips
- Question Quorner
- Math 55,000
- Bear Law 103
- Pawed Chalice
Learn more about today's episode at Podford University's Official website, podford.com. You can write-in to our show by contacting us at registrar [at] the aforementioned domain.
Life on campus can be stressful these days. Midterms are a part of any college experience, but that doesn't make them any easier. Fortunately, your favorite Podcast hosts are ready to provide you with some helpful tips to make things a little more stress-free. And while they can't give you specific test answers, they're more than willing to hold your hand and tell you it's all going to be okay.
Episode Outline
- Podford University Podfordcast
- Quad Remote Meditation Station: Lightbulb Underwear
- Topic Deep Dive: Podforcast Midterm Study Tips
- Question Quorner
- Fish Lab 208
- Carpentry 201
- Reconnaissance at The Pawed Chalice
Learn more about today's episode at Podford University's Official website, podford.com. You can write-in to our show by contacting us at registrar [at] the aforementioned domain.
Can you smell that? The fresh air of autumn truly allows you to feel the seasons changing in your bones. Here at Podford, we're home to all variety of flora and fauna and, well, Autumn could mayhaps be the finest season in which to experience them! We advise you, however, to be prepared before venturing out into the wilderness. This is why the Podford Parks Department has sent us a list of all the ways you can stay safe and prepared while exploring the great outdoors. Oh, and please don't throw out your bread.
Episode Outline
- Podford University Podfordcast
- Quad Remote Meditation Station: Shimmering Pudding
- Topic Deep Dive: Hiking Tips from Podford’s Parks Department
- Question Quorner
- Future History 101
- Sporting Event: The Podford Jogging Bears VS The UCLA Bruins
- Off-Campus Activity
Learn more about today's episode at Podford University's Official website, podford.com. You can write-in to our show by contacting us at registrar [at] the aforementioned domain.
In the wise words of Podford Horticultural Society founder Desmond Artimace: "Trees are the daddies of the forest and the lakes the mommies, and we are but their babies."
It is an interesting time on Podford Campus and you're lucky enough to have a window into its very soul. Today's Podfordcast enjoys the company of our most elite associate, Head Dean Abernathy Wickspittle (Anthony John Agnello). Your beloved hosts, at the behest of Dean Wickspittle, are asked to identify their favorite extra-curricular endeavors, but their answer does not satisfy him. The boys are, despite this most peculiar encounter with the Dean, party to some more heart-warming moments throughout the day. They eventually adorn costumes and make their way to the Cormac Gondolo Gymnasium for the campus's annual Symphony of the Fright Festivities. This spooky bash is certainly one for the ages, dear audience, so please sit down, brew some hotkin, and join us for Podford University's Halloween Special 2020.
Episode Outline
- Podford University Podfordcast
- Quad Remote Meditation Station: Leg Antlers
- Topic Deep Dive: Guest Abernathy Wickspittle (Anthony John Agnello) asks for a taste of Student Life
- Question Quorner
- Pasta History 306
- Fish Lab 208
- The Symphony of the Fright
- Behind the Greenhouse...
Learn more about today's episode at Podford University's Official website, podford.com. You can write-in to our show by contacting us at registrar [at] the aforementioned domain.
We have a very serious issue to discuss on today's episode: it seems there is a bit of a milk shortage at Podford University and as a result, we have our cafeteria's very own Conrad Lasagna on the show to discuss this most dire affair. As you're all well aware, milk has always has been the lifeblood of Podford University. Additionally, a surreal guest pays a visit to Brandon for a terrible mistake made in class last week.
Episode Outline
- Podford University Podfordcast
- Quad Remote Meditation Station: Wandering Accountant
- Topic Deep Dive: Guest Conrad Lasagna asks: Where has the milk gone?
- Question Quorner
- Marketing 101
- Show and Tell 409
- Pod on the Rocks
Learn more about today's episode at Podford University's Official website, podford.com. You can write-in to our show by contacting us at registrar [at] the aforementioned domain.
Ahh, fall is in the air. The aroma is crisp and inviting. The campus looks beautiful on account of all of those colorful leaves. It also looks beautiful because the student body tends to enjoy crisp apples while they roam the quad each afternoon.
On today's Podfordcast, the Horticultural Society provides some helpful pumpkin tips in an effort to mitigate the avalanche of pumpkin-related injuries our students and faculty are prone to this time of year. We'll always remember, of course, the "Great Pumpkin Massacre" of Fall 2013. A bloodbath. Additionally, the campus hay bale maze is live and ready for you and your friends to get lost in... that is if you can navigate past it's heavily guarded entrance.
Episode Outline
- Podford University Podfordcast
- Quad Remote Meditation Station: Endangered Lunch
- Topic Deep Dive: Horticultural Society's Pumpkin Tips
- Question Quorner
- Fish Lab 208
- Crypto Club
- Seasonal Campus Activity
Learn more about today's episode at Podford University's Official website, podford.com. You can write-in to our show by contacting us at registrar [at] the aforementioned domain.
On this episode of the Podfordcast, an unfortunate announcement related to "pears" is made. This was, of course, not the fault of our lovely hosts who are settling into their duties quite nicely in their second week. Making friends in college can be difficult, so, in today's episode we share a few tips that promise to make the friendship-process a bit easier. Just remember though, if you're listening to the Podfordcast you've always got at least three true friends.
Episode Outline
- Podford University Podfordcast
- Quad Remote Meditation Station: Careful Basketball
- Topic Deep Dive: How-to make friends on campus
- Inside the Snacktor’s Studio
- Future History 101
- Going to a Party
Learn more about today's episode at Podford University's Official website, podford.com. You can write-in to our show by contacting us at registrar [at] the aforementioned domain.
Out with the old and in with the new. The Podfordcast welcomes its three new hosts today, the next in a long line of Podfordcast hosts to grace the Podcast Pyramid at Podford University. Join us today as we discuss Podford's annual Celebration of Pear event, a bit of history on Podford University for our new students (and not so new students who may have forgotten), and a little bit about our new hosts.
Episode Outline
- Podford University Podfordcast
- Quad Remote Meditation Station: Caterpillar Tuesday
- Topic Deep Dive: Podfordcast Introduction
- Pasta History 306
- Fish Lab 208
- Going to a Party
Learn more about today's episode at Podford University's Official website, podford.com. You can write-in to our show by contacting us at registrar [at] the aforementioned domain.
Podford University: 1748-1840 Podford University, a prominent University in the larger academic landscape of our modern era was once, believe it or not, a mere twinkle in the eyes of prominent English humanitarian, magician, and founder Gerald Podford. Gerald Podford began life in 1702 as a mere twinkle in the eyes of his parents Ronaldo and Geraldina Podford who, too, were once mere twinkles in the eyes of their parents. Our story begins with Geraldina, Gerald’s mother. A brazen, accomplished parlor magician in her own right, the stage was set early for Gerald’s eventual career as friends and family alike learned that the apple does indeed land very near the tree. At the age of 6, it was said that Gerald was regularly making food, toys, and even furniture in the family’s modest Westchester home disappear for meager (and eventually pandering) applause from his father Ronaldo, an architect known for his stoic presence and inability to enjoy life.
Ronaldo’s lack of basic affection is said to be the catalyst for his only son’s vast catalogue of accomplishments. As Gerald grew into his teens, he sought the approval of friends, neighbors, and even accomplished magicians (whom he was often studying under) to fill the the void his father would not. Gerald was set to graduate from primary school in the spring of 1719 when his mother approached him with an envelope of quid. She urged him to run away from his father (as she intended to, too) and begin life anew, sharing his gift of magic with the world. It is said Gerald received this advice with much apprehension, knowing it would mean that the relationship he sought with his father would truly never materialize. He, however, proceeded with his mother’s suggestion and used his new fortune, albeit small, to begin teaching magic in an abandoned church in the northernmost tip of Northern UK, at the time known simply as the Northern Tip of North Great Britain. There, his following of pods (as they came to be known) learned the basics of magic including pulling rabbits out of hats, coins from behind ears, and eventually pianos from behind wagons. His skills in lecturing began to rival his skills in magic, easily depicted by his ability to praise his students for their progress along with his reserve in doling praise when they hadn’t earned it; a tormenting but helpful ramification of his time growing up.
In his late 30s, now brimming with a wealth of experience in academics, magic, and loyal subjects, Gerald decided he would begin saving money to expand his teaching ambitions beyond the abandoned church. In the fall of 1740, Gerald began the first ever documented crowdfunding campaign, ripe with stretch-goals and everything. He spent the next 4 years of his life generating well over a hundred thousand quid - an amount necessary to fund the construction of a massive campus of beautiful buildings to fill with hungry souls looking to learn the art of magic from one of the most prominent figures of the era.
Gerald amassed a fortune through his crowdfunding campaign, promising a myriad of backer rewards to his subjects including personalized merchandise (another first in the academic space) and free tuition for a year. This, however, was a time of much political and civil unrest and so Gerald found himself at the center of an impossible decision: wether to invest his fortune in a volatile Brittish market or try his hand at the newly colonized lands across the pond? It was in 1744 that Podford decided to set sail for America. He and his legion of magicians boarded the aptly named Santa Podmia, a weathered wooden vessel fit only for peasants and yet through sheer will-of-heart and a little magic, the Podmia landed in Boston harbor after a grueling three month voyage. Many of the students had died of scurvy and other cliche sea-faring illnesses, but Gerald remained healthy throughout the trip. He mourned the losses endured during the voyage by holding a vigil in their new homeland and charging a cover fee for attendees. The vigil was advertised as a “Blinding Spectacle of Respect for the Deceased and Magic.” It was at this vigil that Gerald’s fame truly grew from foreign legend to prominent global academic mastermind as he and his remaining subjects dazzled onlookers with card tricks and disappearing pianos. He used the vigil revenue and the crowd-funded campaign to fund the construction of the now legendary Podford University campus from 1745-1748 just in time for a grand opening in the same year as the school’s completion. It is said that Gerald, in secret, spoke with his father by raven about many of the school’s architectural decisions, explaining many of the marvels hidden within the school’s construction and the reason Gerald was alleged to remain at peace through his later years.
Gerald Podford led the school in the role of Head Dean Wizard (a unique moniker not used at other universities, but one that felt appropriate considering his pedigree) adopting many additional academic pursuits along the way such as mathematics, music, and fish. During his twilight years in the early 1800s, sustaining only on the love of his students (and some say just a little bit of magic), Gerald knew it was time to appoint a new Head Dean Wizard. He wanted someone to carry on the school’s tradition of education, magic, and humanitarianism. Luckily for Gerald, the decision was an easy one.
Rewind a decade or so. It was the winter of 1792 when Gerald Podford’s most esteemed prodigy, Antolf Ensliedale, approached him about life after graduation. Podford had early recognized the magical skills the young man possessed when scouting at local pubs and drinkeries for blossoming talent. Ensliedale was performing his tight magical 5 when Gerald, 90 years old at this point, approached with a firm handshake and full scholarship. It had been many decades since Gerald, however proud of his legion of worshippers, saw himself in any of the youngsters he presided over. Antolf graduated in the spring of ‘98, ventured to Arizona to discover himself for a year, returned to campus and finally made it clear to Gerald that everything he’d been seeking in the wilderness was already right in front of him.
Podford died in the long summer of 1802. His lawyer read the will to his surviving constituents, explaining that Gerald had been holding on for dear life these past few months in order to “perform” his final “trick”: living to be one hundred years old. The lawyer continued, “If I, Gerald Podford, can contribute to the campus’s future as a globally recognized Blue Zone, by God, I must do it.” Many tears were shed and the lawyer went on, “I bequeath the deed and robes of the esteemed position of Head Dean Wizard to my bloodless descendant Antolf Ensliedale. Dear boy, it is with great pleasure and honor I see my lineage, namesake, and legacy handed down to the only logical choice before me. You are pure magic, my boy, and may your reign as Head Dean Wizard be long, prosperous, and truly magical. I love you.” The lawyer concluded the reading of Podford’s will with the traditional singing of Podford University’s Fight Song “Vanish Ye Piano on Ole Boston Harbor.” Some say Podford’s father, Ronaldo, now 124, sit quietly in the back of the reading, silently saying his goodbyes to his old son.
Ensliedale came into his own over the next few decades. He was a modest man who’s only goal was to continue to respect the legacy of his beloved mentor, the very mentor a sea of hungry young students also regarded as the pinnacle of magic, education, and leadership. The school was in the very best of hands and these were some of the best years the school had ever or will ever know.
Podford University: 1840-1930 John Walker Podford was named Dean III, for the first time dropping the 'Head Dean Wizard' moniker, on January 8th, 1843 after Ensliedale died in a shipwreck while gathering seashells for Podford’s biology department. J.W., a visionary who brought the school out of financial turmoil, converted the Arts department into a steam engine factory, taking advantage of the student body’s aptitude for manual labor.
Podford roared with the rest of the country during the 1920’s and enjoyed record-setting enrollment. While it was initially believed the popularity surge was due to an outstanding History program, more recent evidence suggests the acclaim was related to bootleg gin being sold out of the Art department’s bathtub.
Unfortunately, child labor laws decimated the infrastructure at Podford and the school fell back on financial difficulty in the years to come.
Podford University: 1931-Present With the money the university made through bootlegging they were able to expand their campus and become the first university to have a computer. This computer was almost two stories tall and weighed as much as three elephants. This computer, lovingly named after Gerald Podford's nerd cousin, was called Nerdotron-6784 and was able to do as many as five simple math problems in 17 hours. This was a marvel of science during the 1950’s.
In the 1960’s, Nerdotron-6784 was updated and became the Super Nerdotron-6784X. The Super Nerdotron-6784X was able to play checkers like one of the greats, managing to beat both captains of Podford’s checkers team. The Super Nerdotron-684X was eventually made captain of the checkers team and took the Podford team to the state championship in 1967. This made one of the original captains, Albert Chunkington, furious. Chunkington couldn’t take it anymore.His checkers prowess awarded him a full scholarship and he wasn’t going to let a smart garbage can upstage him. Chunkington did the unthinkable and eventually set fire to the Super Nerdotron-6784X. He was found one night dancing naked, bathed in firelight, and cackling like a mad man. Chunkington was expelled and the next year a memorial garden was planted where the big computer once stood.
It wasn’t until the 1980’s that Podford University really felt they could move on from the loss of their beloved giant computer. In 1981, the university built their first computer lab. It’s no understatement to say that the dorks and nerds at Podford went absolutely hog wild when they were able to start clacking away at those keyboards they love.
The 1980’s were a true technological renaissance for Podford. In 1983, Alyson Phreako started the Association of Podford Computer Lovers for all of the weirdos who loved to play on those technology boxes. What started out as just a computer club quickly became an outlet for Alyson and her techno-cohorts to dabble in hacking. Soon enough there wasn’t a mainframe on earth they couldn’t access. Hacking alone could not satiate Phreako though and soon enough she turned her focus to the dark arts and began to study Technomancy. Magic had long been a part of the history of Podford, but Phreako had brought that magic into the 21st century. Alyson Phreako, widely regarded as the school's pre-eminent technomancer, began surfing the web during the fall semester of her sophomore year at the academy. This was the early stages of the internet and Phreako was considered a pioneer in web design and she created the blueprint for Podford University’s website.
The 1990’s began bleakly for Podford University as Alyson Phreako, the then head of the University’s tech department, had gone missing. Phreako was last seen in her office hunched over her computer and was said to be quite withdrawn in the days leading up to her disappearance. She was never found. In 1994, a memorial garden was planted in her honor outside of her office. The rest of the decade through the turn of the century saw the school attempting to build their reputation as”the cool school” leading to disastrous results. Skate parks were built throughout the campus, and though the surface this wasn’t a bad thing, the signage surrounding the parks which read “helmets and paddings are stupid and lame” and “drinking while skating is encouraged” certainly was The signage, of course, led to many injuries. Additionally, all water fountains were removed from campus and replaced with Monster Energy vending machines. This led to a school-wide health crisis.
Between the death of a beloved technomancer, many skateboarding injuries, and even more Monster Energy related poisonings the 1990’s and 2000’s proved to be a dark and trying time for Podford University. But darkness always gives way to light and Podford’s light came in the form of a new dean; a dean with a vision as big as his heart. Enter Dean Cormac Gondolo III, rumored to be the reincarnation of founder Gerald Podford’s late father, Ronaldo: the hero Podford University needed. In 2010 Dean Cormac Gondolo III started his new career as Podford’s fearless leader. Gondolo made some quick changes and immediately got rid of all of the Monster Energy vending machines, replacing them with vending machines that sold good fruit and Red Bull. He paved over all of the skate parks except for one and took down the signs that encouraged drinking and not wearing protective gear. With Gondolo at the helm, Podford was entering a new era of light and prosperity. The future looks bright for Podford University and her students. No longer will Podford be known as the University of the missing technomancer; no longer will Podford lead the way in terms of Monster Energy related poisonings. In the words of Dean Cormac Gondolo III “It’s your life, why not act like it?”
Podford University is a prestige comedy podcast about a university founded by an English magician and educator over two and half centuries ago. Join Joe, Vin, and Brandon as they navigate their freshman year at one of the nation's top 2,000 private universities. You're sure to learn something, meet some new friends, and uncover the secrets that lie within this acclaimed institution.
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