Start with Small Steps

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What is life if you’re not chasing something? That question runs through so much of modern productivity culture, and I got caught up in it myself — in my own career, I always needed the next title, the next promotion, the next thing. This episode makes the case for a different standard: not an optimized life, but a pretty darn good one. Not all-or-nothing. Piece by piece.

The Pretty Darn Good Job

The optimized version chases the next title, the next exit strategy, the constant hustle. The pretty darn good version pays fairly, doesn’t wreck your evenings, and leaves you liking who you are by Friday. That’s not settling — it’s what makes the rest of your life possible.

The Pretty Darn Good Home

Instead of a house that’s a perpetual renovation project chasing a magazine spread, a pretty darn good home is warm, lived-in, and comfortable enough that you’re not embarrassed to have someone over on a random Tuesday.

The Pretty Darn Good People

Optimized relationships treat people like a network to be leveled up. Pretty darn good relationships are the people you actually want at your table — imperfect, but the ones who make you happiest.

The Cost of the Extreme Version

A spectacular career can come at the expense of your health or your family — I’ve lived that trade-off myself. A “solidly good” life isn’t spectacular anywhere, but it’s steady everywhere, and that adds up to more than one blazing area surrounded by wreckage. I bring in Jim Carrey’s well-known 2005 comment about wishing everyone could get everything they dreamed of, just to see for themselves it isn’t the answer.

Being Fair to the Other Side

Hustle culture isn’t hollow — some people are genuinely wired for maximum drive, and real innovation gets built by people chasing extreme outcomes. The honest question isn’t whether to ever optimize, but which one lane in your life actually deserves that kind of attention right now.

The Complacency Trap

“Pretty darn good” can become a costume for avoidance if you’re not careful. The honest move is to check yourself: is this actually fine, or are you just scared to change it?

Three small steps this week: pick one lane that deserves real attention and name it. For everything else, ask honestly if it’s pretty darn good — and if it is, let yourself stop there. And check yourself on the complacency trap, because if something really does need to change, it’s worth the effort. If you want to go deeper, I mention the book 4,000 Weeks by Oliver Burkeman.

I’m Jill from the Northwoods. I recently switched my email — you can reach me now at northwoodsjill@fastmail.com, and find everything at jillfromthenorthwoods.com.

Jill’s Links

https://jillfromthenorthwoods.com/ - Find my podcasts, videos, downloads and ways to contact me

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://x.com/NorthWoodsJill

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist, life coach, or mental health professional. Any habits, strategies, or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or counseling advice. Results vary — small steps look different for everyone. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

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Most conversations about hard childhoods stop at “it affected them as kids.” Almost nobody asks what happens after — because childhood doesn’t stay contained to childhood. It moves in with you as an adult, and it rarely announces itself when it shows up. In this episode, I walk through Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs): what the research actually found, how it showed up in my own life, and four practical starting points for anyone who recognizes themselves in this.

What ACEs Actually Are

In the 1990s, Kaiser Permanente and the CDC studied adults about specific categories of childhood hardship — abuse, neglect, and household dysfunction like addiction, untreated mental illness, or divorce. What they found wasn’t just emotional; it reshaped how researchers understood long-term physical health outcomes too.

How It Shows Up Decades Later

Higher rates of heart disease, chronic pain, weight and substance struggles — and a quieter pattern I know personally: being “braced for impact” even when nothing is actually wrong. I share how noticing this in my own stress data was the first real clue.

It’s Not a Life Sentence

A high ACE score doesn’t determine your future. The single biggest protective factor across every study was having just one steady, caring adult somewhere in the picture — and that changes the odds significantly.

Step 1: Name It

You can’t fix a reaction you haven’t identified. I walk through how naming a pattern (“I don’t trust the future”) is the first real step, not a reason to stay stuck in it.

Step 2: Your Body Remembers

Old alarm systems fire in new contexts — a late bill, an unexpected email — and recognizing that pattern is different from being ruled by it.

Step 3: Stability Is Not Wasted Effort

Rebuilding a calm, steady life as an adult recalibrates a nervous system that never had that as a baseline. It may take longer than it would for someone with a steady childhood, but it’s not out of reach.

Step 4: Everything Is Figureoutable

The bridge from naming the pattern to actually doing something about it — including the strange, personal story of how my own decades-long insomnia finally resolved.

If any part of this sounds like your own life, it’s not a life sentence — it’s information. Naming it and building stability from here is where the real change starts.

Recommended resource: The original ACE study questionnaire is short, self-scoring, and available online in about five minutes if you want a starting point.

Find every show I do at jillfromthenorthwoods.com.

This episode touches on childhood trauma and family dysfunction. If anything in it sounds like your own experience and it’s weighing on you right now, please consider reaching out to a mental health professional or a trusted person in your life for support.

Jill’s Links

https://jillfromthenorthwoods.com/ - Find my podcasts, videos, downloads and ways to contact me

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://x.com/NorthWoodsJill

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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I learned one of the most important lessons of my life from a video game — and it’s not the lesson you’d expect. It wasn’t that gaming is bad, or that hobbies are dangerous. It’s that something can be completely good at the start and still quietly ask for more than it should later on. This week I’m telling the EverQuest story I don’t tell very often, and the one sentence from a friend that changed how I evaluate everything I do with my time.

The Guild That Ran My Life

For nine years, I was deeply involved in a hardcore EverQuest raiding guild — the kind where raids couldn’t be paused, dinner waited, and sleep was optional. It wasn’t one dramatic decision that got me there. It was thousands of small ones, all pointing the same direction.

“You Used to Be Interested in So Many Things”

The moment that actually changed things wasn’t a health scare — it was one sentence from a friend who noticed my world had quietly gotten smaller. That line is the whole spine of this episode, and I still think about it years later.

Why Quitting Isn’t the Fix

When the pandemic hit, I almost walked right back into the same hole. What actually rescued me wasn’t willpower or cutting something out — it was adding something back in: a podcast, suggested almost as an afterthought by a friend.

The Question I Ask About Everything Now

I stopped asking whether a hobby is good or bad. I ask whether it’s making my world bigger or smaller. That single shift changed how I evaluate every commitment, project, and pastime I take on.

Four Questions to Find Your Own “EverQuest”

Instead of counting hours, I walk through four practical questions this episode — what’s quietly disappeared from your life, what hidden habits your favorite activity encourages, how to bring back one old interest at a time, and who to ask for an honest outside read on what you actually talk about most.

The goal was never to quit the things I love. I still play video games — they just fit inside my life now instead of running it. If you’ve ever wondered whether something you love has quietly taken over more room than it should, this episode is for you.

You can find everything I do at jillfromthenorthwoods.com. My email is jill@startwithsmallsteps.com.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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Do you dread small talk, or are you the person who can strike up a conversation with a total stranger in the checkout line? Either way, this episode is for you. Small talk gets dismissed as fluff — empty chatter about the weather before the “real” conversation starts — but it’s actually doing something important: it’s the on-ramp to every deeper connection we have.

Why Small Talk Isn’t Pointless

Small talk is the bridge between “we’ve never met” and “we actually know each other.” Without it, you can’t get to the meaningful stuff — you have to test the water first, find shared ground, and build from there. Jill shares a story about a coworker who thought small talk was painful until she watched Jill use it to connect people at a conference in minutes.

It’s a Social Muscle

Like any skill, the more low-stakes small talk you practice, the more comfortable you get with conversation in general — and that skill transfers to networking, dating, and even hard family conversations. It also signals warmth and approachability, which matters more than we think in a season researchers are calling a loneliness epidemic.

Where It Shows Up in Real Life

Professional advancement often happens informally — in hallway chats and casual check-ins, not just performance reviews. In relationships, small talk is maintenance: couples who check in with “how was your day” tend to stay more connected than couples who only discuss logistics. And it turns out brief, friendly exchanges with strangers give real, measurable boosts to mood and confidence.

Seven Small Steps to Get Better at It

For anyone who feels like small talk doesn’t come naturally, Jill breaks it into concrete steps: lower the bar (nice weather today is a complete success), use the FORD method (Family, Occupation, Recreation, Dreams) when you’re stuck, comment instead of question, practice in low-stakes places, set tiny specific goals, let silence be okay, and exit gracefully.

Small talk isn’t shallow — it’s the quiet infrastructure of connection. It doesn’t ask you to become someone you’re not; it just asks for one small step, with one extra person, today.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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“Ignore your teeth and they’ll go away.” It’s an old joke that isn’t really a joke — and today I’m using it as a doorway into something bigger: the idea that your life isn’t just built by what you add to it. It’s also shaped by what you quietly stop tending to.

Neglect Has a Direction. We tend to think of not doing something as a safe, neutral choice. It isn’t. Teeth are the clearest example because the consequence is physical and undeniable — skip the maintenance long enough, and the tooth is just gone. There’s no pause button.

The Brain Does This Too. I dig into synaptic pruning — the real neurological principle where your brain actively prunes connections you don’t use. I use my own experience losing touch with music appreciation after audiobooks and podcasts took over that mental space as a low-stakes example of something that happens in much higher-stakes places too: friendships, physical health, skills, faith.

The Tending Principle — Three Parts. First, neglect is not neutral; doing nothing is still a direction, and that direction is decay. Second, capacity is finite — every yes is a quiet no to something else, and you often don’t find out what you gave up until later. Third, some losses are recoverable and some aren’t (my running came back; my teeth never will), and the real skill is being humble enough to tell the difference.

It’s Not Just the Obvious Stuff. I walk through how this shows up in physical fitness, friendships that thin out from lack of contact rather than conflict, skills and identity, and even resilience — I noticed my own capacity for handling crisis softened once my life got quieter and I stopped needing it as often.

One Small Step. Take a general read of your life: does the actual shape of your time match the life you want? Then pick one thing — one relationship, one habit, one part of your health or your faith — that’s been quietly slipping, and give it a little bit of attention this week. You won’t get your whole life back at once, but you will get information, and that’s what lets you choose on purpose instead of finding out by accident.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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You know what a five-minute task looks like when a kid doesn’t want to do it? An hour-long standoff. Socks on the floor. Full dramatic collapse. And the worst part is, that kid is also missing out on the thing they actually wanted to do — playtime they could have been having — because now they’re in a battle that didn’t need to happen.

Sound familiar? Because I do it too. Not on the floor, not with the socks, but the mechanism is exactly the same. And that’s what this episode is about.

Avoidance Isn’t Free. We think of avoidance as a break — a little breathing room before we tackle the hard thing. But what’s actually happening is we’re adding every undone task to a mental backpack we carry through the entire day. The gym you meant to hit. The email you’re dreading. The bill you keep not looking at. Each one is a background process running in your brain, quietly draining your energy and your focus, popping up with mild guilt every time it surfaces.

Two Versions of Your Day. I walk through what it actually looks like to compare the day where you do the planned thing first versus the day where you negotiate with yourself until 10pm. The first version is done and forgotten in 30 minutes. The second version haunts you all day and you probably still don’t do the thing.

The ADHD Layer. For those of us with ADHD, this pattern can run deeper — the executive function piece makes it genuinely harder to initiate tasks even when we want to do them. This isn’t laziness. But understanding the pattern is still the first step whether or not ADHD is part of your picture.

Mel Robbins and the 5-Second Rule. I’m not here to reinvent something that’s already been figured out. Mel Robbins cracked this one open with a beautifully simple move: when you feel the impulse to act, count backwards from five and go before your brain builds a case against it. It interrupts the internal committee meeting before the agenda even gets distributed.

Three Concrete Moves. Name it (you can’t change what you don’t see), shrink it (the first 30 seconds of a task, not the whole thing), and do the countdown. That’s it. You’re not building a system. You’re just deciding not to sit on the floor.

The real payoff isn’t productivity for its own sake. It’s the rest you’ve actually earned at the end of a day where you did the thing you said you were going to do.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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I used to think something was wrong with me. I’d sit there knowing a task mattered — knowing it mattered yesterday, last week, last month — and still couldn’t get myself to move on it. For years I asked myself the wrong question: why isn’t this getting done? The better question, it turns out, is what does my brain actually need to get started? That question changed everything, and it’s where SPARK came from.

Story. I’m a story person. I don’t care that a bird exists — I care about the three hours I spent finding it. When I’m stuck on a task, I ask what’s interesting about it, not what needs to get done. Curiosity creates momentum that obligation never will.

Purpose. Abstract tasks mean nothing until there’s a real person on the other side of them. Whether it’s an IT ticket or a podcast episode that isn’t coming together, I think about who actually needs this and why — and the task shifts even though the work doesn’t.

Adventure. Not everything can be an adventure (folding laundry is still folding laundry), but a lot of tasks can become small experiments instead of obligations. Possibility is motivating in a way duty never is.

Reality. This one needs care, because it’s easy to slide from reality into fear. Fear says you’ll end up broken and miss out on life. Reality says every choice is a small vote for the future you’re building. I’d rather feed the tiger that’s still hiking at 80 than the one that isn’t.

Kickstart. Some days none of the above works. On those days, the only question that matters is: what’s the smallest next possible step? Mow the front yard, not the whole lawn. Put on your shoes, not your whole workout. Starting is the hard part — once you start, momentum tends to take over.

You don’t need all five letters every time. Pick whichever one fits the moment, and let it do its job. Most of us aren’t waking up already disciplined and on fire — and that’s not a flaw, that’s just being human.

If you’ve been stuck on something, I’d love to know which letter of SPARK actually got you moving. Email me at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com or leave a comment — and until next time, keep taking those small steps.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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I have played the performance review game for my entire career. And I have been playing it wrong.

Not wrong in the obvious way — I wasn’t making things up or padding my resume. I was doing something that felt like humility and was actually closer to inaccuracy: describing real, significant work in the smallest possible terms, handing my manager a vague document, and then wondering why I didn’t feel seen.

This episode is about the game underneath the game. Because most of us think performance reviews are a documentation exercise — write down what you did, your manager writes down what they thought you did, everyone signs off, and you move on. That’s the surface layer. What’s actually happening is that your manager is taking your self-evaluation into a room full of other managers and using it as a brief to advocate for you. Or not.

The calibration room you don’t know about

In most organizations, managers sit together and compare their teams. Not résumés — narratives. Whoever’s story is clearest and most specific gives their manager the most to work with. Vague doesn’t win in that room. And if you handed your manager something weak, they might know your work was excellent, but if you can’t describe it clearly, they probably can’t either.

The Midwest humility problem

I grew up in a culture where you let your work speak for itself, you deflect compliments, and you give away credit even when it cost you. None of that is wrong as a value. But the performance review system was designed for people who know how to make a direct case for themselves. When your cultural wiring says stay small and the system rewards people who speak up, you lose ground to people who simply know the rules better.

Humility vs. inaccuracy

This is the reframe that actually helped me. Humility says: “I know I didn’t do this alone. I know I have more to learn.” Inaccuracy says: “I barely did anything.” Those are not the same statement. Most of us struggling with self-reviews aren’t exaggerating — we’re under-articulating. We know what we did. We just describe it in the smallest terms possible because anything bigger feels uncomfortable.

Four things you can do right now

One: understand the system — your review is a brief for your manager, write it that way. Two: separate accuracy from boasting — before you soften a sentence, ask yourself if it’s true. If yes, leave it alone. Three: find a translator — ask a friend, colleague, or AI to read your draft and push back where you’ve gone small. Four: keep an evidence file year-round — not a brag file, an evidence file — so you’re not reconstructing a year from memory at the worst possible time.

Your small step

Take one thing you accomplished recently — at work, at home, anywhere — and describe it out loud to yourself. Notice how you frame it. If a colleague described the same accomplishment, would you think they were bragging? Probably not. So why does it feel different when it’s you?

That discomfort is information. Pay attention to it.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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Have you ever committed to something — really committed — and then felt the pushback start almost immediately? The friction, the doubt, the voice in your head saying maybe this wasn’t meant to be? I used to think that was a sign something was wrong. I’ve learned to read it differently now.

Pressure Is a Privilege

The reframe starts here: pressure is not a punishment. It’s a privilege. Father Mike Schmidt’s podcast planted the phrase for me, and once I heard it, I started seeing it everywhere. Novak Djokovic says it too — pressure means you’re doing something important. The logic is simple: when there’s real pressure, there’s a real opportunity attached to it. When an athlete stops feeling pressure before a match, it usually means they’ve stopped caring whether it matters. The stakes and the pressure come together. You can’t have one without the other.

Headwinds Are Physics, Not a Warning

Here’s the reframe that I think changes everything: if you’re sitting still, there’s no resistance. Life is smooth. No friction, no drag, no headwind. But that also means you’re not moving. The moment you start heading somewhere, physics kicks in. A bicycle creates wind resistance. A car window pushed open feels the air push back. An airplane doesn’t fight headwinds because they’re the enemy — it fights them because you can’t get lift without resistance. You can’t gain altitude without headwinds. The headwind doesn’t mean you’re going the wrong direction. It means you’re going.

Where Self-Help Gets It Backwards

A lot of mainstream advice says: if it’s hard, something’s wrong. If there’s struggle, maybe you’re not cut out for this. If things flow easily, that’s confirmation you’re on the right path. I think that’s exactly backwards. Ease can mean you’re not stretching. Comfort can mean you’re shrinking. No resistance can mean you’re not moving at all. The reframe: resistance is not evidence that you’re doing something wrong. Resistance is evidence that you’re doing something enough — something real, something that has weight and stakes and consequence. Nobody gets significant pushback for staying exactly the same.

God Trains in the Hard Places

For those of us who are people of faith: the resistance isn’t the absence of a blessing. It’s a training ground. Every person in the Bible who was going somewhere faced headwinds. No one had an easy ride of it. God doesn’t refine us in comfortable places. He refines us in hard ones. And if you’re not facing any resistance right now, it’s worth asking honestly — are you actually moving anywhere? Not a judgment. A question I’ve had to ask myself too.

Four Practical Things to Do When Pressure Hits

Because knowing that pressure is a privilege doesn’t make it feel like one in the middle of it. Here’s what helps. First, name it — say out loud, this is resistance, this is what moving feels like. That single act breaks the panic and shifts you from reacting to observing. Second, ask a better question — instead of “is this a sign I should stop?” ask “what is this resistance telling me about where I’m going?” The pressure becomes your curriculum. Third, don’t confuse hard with wrong — some of the most right things you’ll ever do will be genuinely hard. Hard is not a verdict. And fourth, stay in motion — no heroic surges, no giant leaps. Just don’t stop. The pressure is not stronger than your next step.

Stay Out of the Harbor

Sailors know something most of us forget: the storm doesn’t care where you are. It will find you in the harbor too. Staying still doesn’t protect you from hard things — it just means you face them without any skills, without any momentum, without any ability to tack left or right. When you’re moving, even slowly, you start to develop instincts. You learn to read the water. You start to angle into the wind or away from it. The very forces that would capsize you in the harbor become the forces that carry you through. The breeze isn’t warning you. It’s training you.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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Have you been quietly waiting for something to happen before you start the life you actually want? A better time, the right number on the scale, the right person, more money in the bank — something. In this episode, I want to talk about what I call the knight in shining armor myth, and why naming it out loud may be the most important thing you do this week.

The Knight Isn't Always a PersonWe were raised — directly or indirectly — with the idea that someone or something will arrive and make life make sense. But the knight isn't always a romantic partner. For most of us, it looks like the right time, the right circumstances, the right conditions. It's the quiet permission we're waiting on before we'll begin.

Waiting Is Fear With a Costume OnWe tell ourselves we're being responsible or strategic. But most of the time, waiting is fear dressed up as patience. When we outsource the decision to our circumstances — "when the planets all line up, I'll move" — we never have to be the one who chose and got it wrong. It's a very human strategy, and it costs us more than we realize.

Your Life Isn't Paused While You WaitThis is the part I don't want you to miss. The cost of waiting is invisible. It accumulates quietly. It doesn't look like a crisis — it looks like a decade later, glancing back and thinking, "I always meant to do that." Your health isn't waiting. Your creative work isn't waiting. Time itself does not wait.

Release the Framework EntirelyI'm not going to tell you to fight harder or find your warrior spirit — that's not who I am. What I'm suggesting is something different: release the whole framework that says conditions must be right before you can begin. The knight was never coming. Readiness isn't a feeling you wait for — it's something you build by starting.

Name the KnightThe one action I want you to take this week: name the knight. Get specific about what you've been waiting for. Say it out loud. Write it down. Because when you actually name it — "I've been waiting until I lose weight," "I've been waiting until someone will do this with me" — it loses its power. It stops being a reasonable condition and starts being what it actually is: a story you've been telling yourself.

You don't need a giant life overhaul. You need one small step — taken this week, without waiting for the knight. That's how all of this works. And once you start acting, you start feeling ready. It doesn't work the other way around.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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There are seasons for steady, daily effort — and then there are moments when incremental progress just makes things worse. This week I'm talking about something that surprised even me: the idea that sometimes, the most useful thing isn't a small step. It's a big one.

The Garage, the Trees, and the Difference That Matters

I cleaned my garage this weekend. And planted a tree garden. Both projects taught me something different about momentum — and when crossing the threshold into "just finish it" is actually the right call.

Gardens vs. Demolition Projects

Not every challenge in life responds to the same approach. Building a habit, growing a marriage, developing your finances — these are gardens. They need consistent tending over time, not a dramatic push. But cleaning out a neglected room, making a decision you've been sitting on for two years, or finally addressing a health issue? Those are demolition projects. They need force and commitment.

Building vs. Clearing

Ask yourself: am I building something, or am I clearing something? Building almost always works through small steps — strength, relationships, discipline, creative practice. But clearing often needs a different gear entirely. And when you nibble at a clearing project slowly, you stay emotionally attached to the old system and never fully cross over.

The Two Big Mistakes

The first: trying to Big Bang something that actually needs consistency. January 1st energy applied to the wrong kind of project exhausts you fast. The second (sneakier): using small steps to avoid transformation altogether. Researching, planning, organizing bins — it feels like motion, but it's avoidance. Ask yourself honestly: am I moving forward, or circling the drain?

What Nature Shows Us

Growth in nature is rarely gradual and visible. The trees look dead for weeks in late April — and then overnight, everything is green. Birds migrate in a burst, not a slow fade. A caterpillar doesn't gradually become a butterfly; it dissolves and emerges something completely new. Life contains both slow formation and sudden transformation.

Reading the Season You're In

The wisdom isn't in choosing one philosophy and sticking to it forever. It's learning to read the moment. Some seasons call for faithfulness and daily showing up. Others call for a shovel, a weekend, and a decision not to stop. Both approaches are gifts. Small steps help us begin. Big bangs help us cross the threshold.

If something on your list has been "in progress" for longer than makes sense — ask yourself if you've been treating a demolition project like a garden. The answer might change your whole Saturday.

You can reach me at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com or find everything I do at jillfromthenorthwoods.com.

Timestamps* 0:00 Introduction * 3:18 Gardens vs. demolition projects * 6:39 Building vs. clearing — two different workflows * 9:12 Mistake #1 — Big Banging things that need consistency * 10:19 Mistake #2 — Using small steps to avoid change * 14:30 Why the Big Bang creates clarity * 16:03 What nature teaches us about sudden transformation * 21:56 Closing thoughts

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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Have you ever had a brilliant idea — something you were genuinely excited about — and then done absolutely nothing with it? Or gone all-in on a goal, white-knuckled it for a few weeks, and then watched the whole thing collapse? I’ve been on both sides of that. Today I want to introduce you to a single, practical skill that changed how I approach almost everything in my life. It’s called iteration — and I don’t love the word either, but stay with me, because this might be the reframe you’ve been waiting for.

Why We Keep Getting Stuck: The All-or-Nothing Trap

Most of us were taught to treat big changes like a straight line: decide, commit, execute, finish. When it doesn’t go that way, we decide we failed. Iteration rejects that entirely. Your first attempt was never supposed to be the final answer — it was supposed to give you information. Every attempt is data, not a verdict.

What Iteration Actually Means

Iteration is a loop, not a line: try something small, collect honest feedback, adjust, and go again. Scientists, designers, athletes, and software teams live by this. At some point, we decided regular people weren’t allowed to operate this way. We are. You have more than one shot.

Why Small Experiments Work Better

Small experiments carry lower risk, produce real-world data faster than research ever could, and build the one thing no amount of reading gives you: actual confidence. And here’s the kicker — a 1% improvement, repeated, doesn’t add up linearly. It compounds dramatically. The tenth version of something is not ten times better than the first; it’s in an entirely different league.

Iteration in Real Life: Career, Health, Relationships, Creative Work

The principle is portable. Thinking about a career change? Test it before you quit. Overhauling your health? Add one vegetable serving for ten days. Want to shift a relationship dynamic? Ask one honest question instead of staging the big conversation. Podcasting? Every episode is an iteration. Every area of life where you want growth is a place where small experiments pay off.

A Repeatable Five-Step Process

Pick one specific thing. Design a small, time-bound experiment. Run it and capture what actually happens. Review it with curiosity, not judgment. Adjust and go again. That’s it. A ten-minute Sunday review ritual is more than enough.

What Derails This — and How to Avoid It

Perfectionism, no feedback loop, fear of looking flaky, and analysis paralysis are the four main traps. Iteration isn’t flakiness — people who change directions without learning anything based on a mood are flaky. Updating your approach based on real information is the definition of good judgment. Set a timer, make the call, and get moving.

You don’t need a perfect plan. You need a small experiment and the willingness to pay attention to what happened. The people who make real progress in their lives aren’t the ones who got it right the first time — they’re the ones who kept adjusting.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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This episode has been a long time coming. Not because it’s trendy — it isn’t. Not because it came from a book I was reading. But because I keep watching it happen to people I care about, and maybe it’s happening to you too. Today we’re talking about the quiet kind of giving up. Not the dramatic exit. The slow drift.

The Physical Therapy Analogy

It starts somewhere specific — a knee replacement, a back injury, a doctor’s instructions. The person begins. They do the work. It’s slow. It’s hard. It costs money. The results aren’t dramatic. And one day, without any announcement, they just stop. They think they’re being realistic. What’s actually happening is they’re trading a temporary cost for a permanent one. Jill knows this from the inside: four tendons in two ankles, two years of getting worse, and the moment someone asked the right question that sent her back to the exercises she’d abandoned. Both ankles fully recovered. You never would have known.

The Maps We Make in Our Heads

The injury version is just one form. There’s also the version where circumstances create a mental map of what’s possible in your life — and that map quietly stops you from ever trying. Small town, underfunded school, overwhelming family, not enough of anything. The ceiling you’ve accepted might not be your actual ceiling. It might just be a limited perspective on a limited environment that hardened into the shape of a fact.

Why It Doesn’t Look Like Giving Up

Giving up almost never looks like giving up. It looks like being realistic, not setting yourself up to fail, making sensible individual decisions — skip PT today, look for a job next week, start the diet after the holidays. Each call is defensible. When they stack into a pattern, the door doesn’t slam shut. It just slowly drifts closed while you’re not looking.

Learned Helplessness and the Intention-Action Gap

Psychologists call the pattern learned helplessness: when effort repeatedly seems to change nothing, the nervous system starts short-circuiting the attempts to protect you from further disappointment. And the intention-action gap — still wanting the thing, still fully intending to get back to it someday — widens until “someday” becomes a story you tell yourself about a future that never arrives.

What Actually Changes Your Ending

It’s not motivation — that’s real but unreliable. It’s not willpower — that depletes. It’s one clear, quiet, private decision: I’m not done. Not “I’m going to crush this.” Just: I’m not quitting. One small move. One vote cast in the right direction, the way James Clear describes in Atomic Habits. Every rep, every kept appointment, every application sent is a vote for the person you’re becoming — and those votes don’t have to be impressive. They just have to be cast.

You don’t have to accept the story that’s been handed to you. The version of you that keeps going, even slowly and imperfectly, is better than the version that stopped entirely.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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You said yes. And now you have that sinking feeling. The committee, the favor, the project that just got added to the pile — you agreed, you were kind, and now you're wondering what you're going to give up to fit it in. Most of us have been there more times than we can count. The problem isn't generosity. The problem is that we tend to think of saying yes as additive — just one more good thing on the list. But your calendar doesn't work like that. Your energy doesn't work like that. Every yes is, at that exact moment, a no to something else.

The Economics of Your Attention

There's a term from economics that applies beautifully here: opportunity cost. Every choice has a cost — not just in money, but in time, energy, and focus. When you say yes to one thing, you are implicitly saying no to something else. That's not math being gloomy; it's math being honest. The question isn't whether opportunity cost exists. The question is whether you're being intentional about what you're trading away when you say yes by default.

The Buffett List: What Makes It to Your Top Five?

There's a widely circulated story — attributed to Warren Buffett, though he's since distanced himself from the exact version — about a prioritization exercise. Write down your top 25 goals or projects. Circle the five most important. Here's the surprising part: the 20 you didn't circle don't go on a "someday" list. They go on an avoid-at-all-costs list. Because those are the things most likely to tempt you away from what actually matters most. They're not bad things. They're your most dangerous distractions precisely because they seem reasonable.

The Essentialist Question

Greg McKeon's book Essentialism offers one line that I've carried for years: "If you don't prioritize your life, someone else will." The non-essentialist tells themselves they can do it all, then ends up scattered, overwhelmed, and resentful. The essentialist asks a different question before committing: not "is this a good thing?" but "what am I actually saying no to if I say yes to this?" Intentionality doesn't mean selfishness. It means protecting what actually matters.

The One Rule That Cuts Through the Noise

One framework making the rounds in productivity circles: if it's not a clear, enthusiastic yes, it's a no. Not "well, I suppose I could." Not a vague feeling of obligation or social pressure. If it's not a genuine "I would love to do this," the answer is no. Most of the commitments that drain us weren't the ones we were excited about in the first place. Before any yes, three questions: Does this align with my top priorities right now? What will I have to give up — and am I truly okay with that? Am I energized by this or drained by it?

How to Say No Without a Long Apology

Most of us over-explain our no's. The long list of reasons, the three apologies, the exhaustive justification. Here's a gentler truth: a graceful no can be brief and warm. "I appreciate you thinking of me, but I'm not able to take this on right now — I'm focused on some things that need my full attention." That's it. No elaborate explanation required. Longer justifications invite negotiation and can feel more disingenuous than a clean, honest no. And if you need time: "Let me check my schedule and get back to you" — then actually look at those three questions before you respond.

What About Yeses You've Already Given?

The sunk cost fallacy is real: we keep doing things because we've already invested in them, even when the investment no longer makes sense. For existing commitments: if you were asked today, would you say yes? If the answer is no, a graceful exit may be worth considering. Not every commitment can be unwound — you'll need to weigh the relationship and other obligations. But some things can be handed off, stepped back from, or simply ended. What you've already spent doesn't obligate you to keep spending.

One Small Habit Shift

Most of us start the day asking: what do I need to do today? Try adding a second question alongside it: what will I say no to today? Is something on the schedule that doesn't belong? A request you know is coming that you need to think about in advance? One deliberate no per day. Five per week. Twenty per month. That's real space to do the things that actually belong at the top of your list.

Thanks for spending time with me today.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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There's a moment in most people's lives when the timeline stops making sense. You're 45 and feel like you're starting over. You're 30 and feel completely stuck. Age isn't the map — and that's actually good news.

The Framework: Four Seasons, Zero Timeline

This isn't about young = spring and old = winter. The seasons framework is about where you are right now, what the moment is calling for — and recognizing that you can be 60 years old and fully in spring. The seasons aren't assigned. They're identified.

Spring: Potential Energy

Spring is new beginnings, fresh ground, high curiosity. You're learning fast, asking questions, trying things out. Perfectionism is the enemy here. The ground is fertile — your job is to plant, not to harvest yet.

Summer: Consistent Effort

Summer is expansion. You have roots now. You're building on a foundation, deepening commitments, doing work that won't pay off until later. It's rarely dramatic. It's just showing up, protecting your energy, and doing the thing.

Autumn: The Harvest

Autumn is when the work pays off. You've made enough mistakes to recognize patterns. You have real expertise — and something worth teaching. This is the season to sharpen, protect what you've built, and start giving back.

Winter: The Underrated Season

Winter is not failure. The tree isn't dead — it's preparing. Winter is rest, reflection, slow invisible growth. If you're in winter right now, you're not behind. You're doing exactly what the season requires.

Micro-Seasons and the Right Move at the Right Time

We're often in multiple seasons simultaneously. Your career might be in summer while a relationship is in winter. The framework gets practical when you map the micro-seasons — specific areas of your life — and ask what each one actually needs right now. The right move in the wrong season is still the wrong move.

What To Do With This

Identify your current season — big picture and micro. Write down two to three practical steps that actually fit that season. Season awareness isn't about forcing growth. It's about doing the right thing at the right time — and trusting the cycle.

Season awareness is a quiet superpower. When you stop fighting the season you're in and start working with it, ordinary days stop being so ordinary. Like the trees, you do the next right thing for where you are. Trust the cycle.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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Most self-help advice puts understanding before action — figure out why you're stuck, heal from your past, then start moving. But what if that order is exactly backwards? In this episode, we dig into why real change almost always starts with movement, not insight, and what that means for the areas of your life where you've been waiting to feel ready.

🔑 What's Really Happening When We 'Work on Ourselves'

There's a common pattern in personal growth culture: understand yourself first, heal, get brave, then change your behavior. It sounds responsible, even thoughtful. But it may be the very thing keeping people stuck — because clarity tends to follow action, not precede it.

🔑 Action Generates Feedback That Your Head Can't

When you act first — even imperfectly, even nervously — you get real-world data. You notice where you slow down, where you freeze, what wasn't as bad as you imagined. The doing reveals the problem more clearly than any amount of journaling or reflection ever could.

🔑 You Don't Have to Finish the Puzzle First

Excavating your personal history before you allow yourself to make different choices today is a long, heavy process — and it's all dressed up as progress. But you are allowed to act before you've sorted everything out. Understanding often comes after the small step, not before.

🔑 A Personal Story: Money, Trust, and Moving Anyway

A story about a childhood experience with stolen savings — and the long-term pattern it created around money — illustrates how understanding the root cause wasn't what changed things. Acting first is what started breaking the pattern open. Insight followed from there.

🔑 The Investor Who Was Wrong for Decades

A real example closes the episode: a man who avoided the stock market his whole life because of distrust — only to realize later how much that belief had cost him. Sometimes we can't afford to wait for our misconceptions to resolve themselves. Sometimes we just have to act.

Your small step this week: what's one thing you could do in the area where you've been waiting to feel ready? You don't have to understand it first. Just start.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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What if you haven't failed at something once or twice — you've been failing at the same thing for decades? Last week was public failure. This week it's private, repeated, long-term failure. And it's harder in a different way. For me, that thing is weight. I've been trying to lose it since I was a child. And what I eventually figured out about all those attempts changed the entire way I look at failure.

Private Failure Has Its Own Weight

No one sees you stepping on the scale at six in the morning. No one sees the attempt that was working until it stopped. The people in your corner see the headlines — a good week, twenty pounds gone — but not the daily private reality. Private failure is lonely. And the accumulation of it can start to feel like evidence that you are simply broken in this one particular way.

The Fresh Start Trap

Our culture loves the clean-slate story. But fresh starts often require throwing away everything learned from the last attempt. Jenny Craig out, Weight Watchers in — and you're back at the beginning, carrying nothing forward. After years of this, Jill realized: what if the knowledge from the last attempt was actually valuable? What if she didn't need to start over — she just needed to iterate?

Building a Toolkit from Every Attempt

Every attempt gave her something: the trainer fourteen years ago taught fitness science she still uses today. Weight Watchers gave her a food framework she still applies. Every time she thought she was starting over, she was actually carrying something forward — a principle that had become second nature, a piece of self-knowledge she didn't have before, a habit that had quietly snuck in.

The Wrong Question — and the Right One

'Why can't I make this happen?' assumes the problem is willpower or discipline. But what if something else is actually going wrong — something metabolic, hormonal, or structural — that no amount of grit can fix? Changing the question from 'what's wrong with me' to 'what is actually going wrong' opens a completely different door.

Iteration Is Not Failure on Repeat

Iteration is progress. It's what happens when you make small incremental adjustments and try again — not a complete overhaul, just a nudge here and a nudge there. Every attempt is a little better than the last. You're not the person who keeps failing at the same thing. You're the person who keeps iterating on a hard problem. And you are not done yet.

Closing

When you look at a long history of attempts, the thing that's actually happening is not an unbroken record of failure. It's an unbroken record of getting back up. That stubbornness — the quiet, unglamorous stubbornness of refusing to stay down — is actually the thing. Next week we talk about what happens when those iterations finally reach the right conditions.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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Private Failure Has Its Own Weight

The Fresh Start Trap

Building a Toolkit from Every Attempt

The Wrong Question — and the Right One

Iteration Is Not Failure on Repeat

Closing

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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Have you ever failed publicly — in a way that everyone around you could see? I did. I walked away from a high-status, well-paying job with no backup plan, no other offer, and no real financial cushion. And everyone in my world was watching. This is the first episode in my Bouncing Forward mini-series, and it's about exactly that — not bouncing back to where you were, but bouncing forward to somewhere better.

Why Some People Don't Come Back

Public failure carries a specific kind of weight — the humiliation, the awareness that people are watching, the fear that what you did will define how they see you. I've watched people fold under that weight, cutting off friendships, avoiding eye contact, never recovering. This episode is about making sure that doesn't happen to you.

The Job She Left

A high-demand company, team awards (the hardest ones to win there), 100+ hour work weeks, and then a boss who made clear that the punishing pace was now the permanent expectation. Jill's best friend cleared out her entire office in one visit and said: you're done here. Three weeks later she walked out with no job lined up — and everyone knew it.

Resist the First Life Raft

The temptation in public failure is to grab whatever comes along first, just to stop the bleeding. Jill did the opposite. She analyzed what had made her miserable, what she had actually loved, and built a clear picture of what the next role needed to look like. New hire training, for example, had been one of the highlights of her month — that was going on the list.

The Shift: From Job-Seeker to Evaluator

The moment she got clear on what she actually wanted, the dynamic changed completely. She was no longer interviewing for jobs — they were auditioning for her. She needed to be convinced this company would make her happy. That shift in mindset changed everything about how she approached the search.

The Landing Is More Important Than the Fall

Three weeks after making her list, Jill found the job she spent the next fifteen years in. Everyone sees you fall. But everyone also sees where you land. If you can hold out long enough to aim the landing — to figure out what the next chapter actually needs to look like rather than just stopping the bleeding — the bounce forward becomes something real.

Closing

Whatever your situation looks like — a relationship, a city, a business, a role in your family — the fears are probably similar. What am I going to do? How will I pay for this? But if you can resist grabbing the first life raft and instead ask: what does the next chapter need to look like? — that's where the real bounce forward happens. Next week we talk about private, long-term failure. Different kind of hard.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

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The habits that change your life most are rarely the dramatic ones. They are the five-minute ones — the invisible ones — that compound quietly over months and years until the trajectory of your life has shifted in ways you never could have predicted from a single day. In this episode I walk through the specific small habits that have made the biggest difference in my own life, organized around four categories: morning anchors, friction design, habit stacking, and automatic systems. These are not theoretical. They are things I actually do, including some I stumbled into by accident and some I built deliberately after years of trying harder things that did not work. Morning anchors are the first category — small actions at the start of the day that set the frame for everything that follows. Drinking water before coffee or food addresses the mild dehydration most of us carry through our mornings without knowing it. Getting two minutes of natural sunlight supports your circadian rhythm and lifts mood in ways artificial light simply cannot replicate. Reading one page of something meaningful — even one page of the Bible — instead of reaching for your phone can add up to fifteen or twenty books over the course of a year. And beginning the morning with prayer or a moment of deliberate gratitude changes the lens through which you see every decision that follows. Friction design is the second category, and it is where I have seen the most consistent results. The principle is simple: make the things you want to do easier, and make the things you do not want to do inconvenient. I do not ban junk food. I just do not buy it on a regular grocery run. Getting Doritos requires a separate trip to the store, which is apparently too much effort. I have used this same logic with snack placement in my home, with my phone during conversations, and with the candy bowls at my office. Nobody felt deprived. The behavior just quietly changed. Habit stacking is the third category. The habits that last are almost always the ones attached to behaviors you already do reliably — ankle exercises while brushing teeth, wiping a counter zone during every standing break, carrying something with you every time you go up or down stairs. No extra willpower required. The old habit carries the new one. The fourth category is automatic systems — habits that run without any decision being made. Saving a fixed amount from every paycheck before you see it. Saving the full difference every time you get a raise, because you already proved you could live on the old amount. I have been doing this for nearly thirty years. It is not exciting. It is exactly how I built the retirement savings I have. One percent better, every day. James Clear did the math in Atomic Habits. The small steps do not feel significant in the moment. That is precisely why they work.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

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Do you need a reinvention — or just a reset? In this episode I'm getting honest about the gap between wanting something in your life and actually deciding to go after it. This isn't about blowing everything up. It's about stopping the drift and quietly, firmly, pointing yourself in a new direction.

What Does a Real Reset Look Like?

Most people who try to reset their lives go too big — new city, extreme diet, dramatic quit. Three months later they're exhausted. A reset isn't a reinvention. It's a readjustment of your trajectory. Small, consistent course corrections compound into big change over time.

Desire vs. Decision

In your 20s you have plenty of desire. By your 50s you realize desire without decision is just a fantasy. A decision is expensive — not always in money, but in comfort, habit, and excuses. The shift happens when you stop wanting and start committing daily, not someday.

The Cost of Drifting

Drift feels harmless because it's slow. Health drifts. Finances drift. Relationships grow distant. And then one day you look up and a decade is gone. The good news: you don't have to fix it all at once. You just have to stop drifting and start steering.

Subtraction Before Addition

Every meaningful reset requires giving something up first — scrolling, convenience eating, saying yes to everything, avoiding hard conversations. What are you protecting that is actually keeping you stuck? What are you unwilling to give up that's costing you your future?

Consistency Is the Unsexy Secret

Speed is overrated. Stability compounds. Whether it's filling one garbage bin a week to organize your house, or committing to one daily walk, small reliable actions done over time get you further than any dramatic leap. I've lost 80 pounds. It wasn't one big moment — it was a thousand small ones.

You don't need a new life. You need a slightly new direction and the willingness to move toward it today — one small step at a time.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

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You can't stop the river. You never could. And yet most of us spend enormous amounts of energy trying to do exactly that — managing outcomes, controlling other people's reactions, bracing for every possible risk, paddling furiously against a current that was never going to turn around. In this episode, I want to offer a different way of thinking about it. Not giving up. Not going passive. But understanding the difference between fighting the river and learning how to read it — and positioning yourself to move through life with a lot more power and a lot less exhaustion.

The Illusion of ControlWe tell ourselves that if we work harder, think harder, or plan more carefully, we can make life behave the way we want it to. But control is an illusion — for health, finances, other people's behavior, the economy, aging, and most of the things that matter most to us. The exhaustion so many people feel in midlife isn't weakness. It's the result of spending years fighting the laws of physics. Water goes where water goes. Recognizing that is not defeat. It's the beginning of something much more useful.

Strength Pushes. Wisdom Positions.In your 20s, brute force often works — you paddle hard and it gets you somewhere. In your 30s and 40s, you start building systems and pushing harder. But there's a point where the current is stronger than your effort, and the kayak metaphor becomes useful: you don't control the depth of the water, the speed of the current, or the rocks beneath the surface. What you do control is the angle of your paddle, where you aim the nose of your boat, and whether you panic or stay focused. That shift — from trying to control to learning to position — is where real power lives.

Positioning Yourself in Real LifePositioning isn't abstract — it's concrete and specific. For your health, it might be a 15-minute walk, resistance training twice a week, an extra half hour of sleep, or eating more protein first. For your career, it might be learning one skill your workplace values, or moving toward the part of your work that energizes you rather than drains you. The story from my own career says it plainly: the turning point wasn't working harder. It was stopping trying to be someone else and positioning myself where my actual strengths could compound into results.

Reading the River — Including the Imaginary OnesA skilled kayaker reads the water — ripples, shadows, movement patterns. They know that fast water isn't always dangerous and still water isn't always safe. A lot of the rivers we're exhausted from fighting aren't even real. They're future catastrophes, replayed conversations, worst-case scenarios we've constructed in our heads. Learning to read the actual current — asking what is actually happening right now, not what we fear might happen — is one of the most practical stress-reduction moves available to us.

When the Boat Flips OverMaturity isn't never flipping the kayak. It's knowing how to roll it back up. Misreading a current, hitting a rock, panicking at a curve — these are part of learning the water, not proof that you've failed. The goal isn't perfection or avoiding all the pitfalls. The goal is perseverance, a little grit, and the willingness to get back in the boat and keep reading the river better than you did before.

You're not behind. You're not done. You haven't messed this up. You're learning how to read the water — and that may be the most powerful thing you do this season. This week, just one small step: one walk, one phone call you've been putting off, one "no" you've been avoiding, thirty minutes blocked off for something that will move your career forward. Not ten steps. One. Adjust the angle. The river keeps moving, and so do you.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

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Most people don't fail at life because they weren't smart enough or talented enough. They struggle because no one ever gave them the ground rules. Twelve years of school, and rarely does anyone sit you down and say: here is how you build a life that doesn't quietly fall apart on you. That's what this episode is about.

The Foundations: Money That Doesn't Wreck You

The first two ground rules are financial, and they're not complicated — they're just unpopular. Don't carry consumer debt, and live below your means. Consumer debt is a quiet life-wrecker: invisible in the moment, compounding in the background. The gap between what you earn and what you spend is where real freedom lives. It's not about being cheap — it's about being intentional. Lifestyle inflation is real, and resisting it is how you actually get ahead.

Protect Your Health Before It Drifts

Your body is the vehicle for everything you do — your energy, your relationships, your ability to show up. And most people don't feel the consequences of their health decisions until they're deep into them. Maintaining your health is dramatically easier than rebuilding it. The ground rule is simple: don't be perfect, but don't let things get too far gone. Move, sleep, eat real food, get checkups.

The Drift Principle

Most of life's biggest problems aren't sudden events — they're slow drifts that go unnoticed until they become a crisis. You don't wake up $40,000 in debt one day. You don't suddenly have a broken marriage. You drift there, one small decision at a time. Understanding the drift principle changes how you read your own life. Small corrections are cheap. Big corrections are expensive — in time, money, and sometimes relationships you can't fully recover.

Audits, Compasses & Enough

Doing regular life audits — even a simple one with coffee and a journal twice a year — keeps the drift visible before it becomes irreversible. Having a compass (knowing where you actually want to go and what's non-negotiable) protects you from ending up wherever the wind takes you. And knowing what "enough" looks like for you personally keeps you from trading things that actually matter for things that won't satisfy.

Personal Principles & the Long Game

Three to five personal principles — not a long list, just a short one that you genuinely live by — become the needle on your compass when everything else is uncertain. And underneath all of it is the long game: small steps, done consistently, that compound over time. The person who exercises three times a week for twenty years is a different physical being than the person who does it sporadically. Consistency beats intensity every time.

Pick one area today and ask yourself honestly: am I drifting? You don't have to fix everything. You just need to notice it.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

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What does it actually mean to use AI and still feel like yourself? In this episode, Jill breaks down her personal approach to AI — not the flashy, let-it-do-everything version, but a quieter, more honest one. If you've ever felt uneasy about AI but couldn't quite explain why, this one's for you.

Top Topics Covered:

1. Why AI Makes So Many of Us Uncomfortable It's usually not about being afraid of technology. Most people are really worried about three things: taking jobs from others, getting fed fake information, or pretending to be someone they're not. Naming that discomfort is the first step.

2. The "Jill Method" of Using AI Three simple rules for using AI without losing yourself: use it as a mirror, not a mask. Let it reflect your thinking back to you — not replace it. The moment it starts covering for you instead of clarifying you, that's the line.

3. AI Isn't New — We Just Didn't Call It That Remember when Amazon started suggesting books you might like? That was AI. It's been woven into our lives for a long time. What's changed is how smart and conversational it's become — not what it fundamentally is.

4. The Job Question Nobody Wants to Answer Yes, AI will change some jobs. The internet did too. But the internet also created millions of jobs no one could have imagined in 1990. History gives us reason to be cautious — and reason not to panic.

5. Using AI to Think Better, Not Less The best use of AI isn't outsourcing your ideas — it's sharpening them. Use it to find holes in your thinking, practice hard conversations, organize your thoughts, or understand something confusing. It's the assistant you could never afford to hire.

Takeaway: This episode isn't anti-AI or blindly pro-AI. It's about finding your own honest middle ground. Tools don't steal your authorship — abdicating your thinking does. When AI helps you become a clearer, stronger version of yourself, that's exactly what it's for. And when it starts to feel like a mask? That's when Jill puts it down.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

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What if the problem isn’t your budget—but your income? When cutting expenses isn’t enough, it’s time to rethink how money actually works. This episode breaks down practical, realistic ways to earn more without burning out.

Episode TitleWhen Budgeting Isn’t Enough: How to Earn More Without Working Yourself to Death

Episode SummaryThis episode wraps up a multi-part series on money by shifting the focus from cutting expenses to increasing income. After learning how to budget, categorize spending, and manage money responsibly, the conversation turns to a hard truth: sometimes the math simply doesn’t work without earning more. Drawing from personal experience and insights inspired by Tiffany Aliche and How to Get Good with Money, the episode explores why income is tied to value, replaceability, and visibility—not effort alone. It reframes earning more money as a strategic, skill-based process rather than a moral judgment or measure of self-worth.

Top Topics CoveredWhy Working Harder Isn’t the Answer

The episode explains why long hours and exhaustion don’t automatically translate into higher pay. Income is connected to market value, how specialized a role is, and how easily someone can be replaced. Understanding this removes shame and helps people think more clearly about their options.

Asking for a Raise—With Evidence

Rather than emotional appeals, raises should be approached with data. A “brag folder” becomes a powerful tool for tracking accomplishments, customer impact, time saved, and problems solved. This evidence makes performance visible and reduces anxiety during reviews and salary conversations.

Becoming Harder to Replace

Learning one critical skill deeply can change an entire career trajectory. Specialization, not job titles or degrees, often creates leverage. The episode highlights how focusing on overlooked problems or difficult tasks can dramatically increase stability and income.

Recognizing Hidden Skills

Skills aren’t just technical. Teaching, organizing, calming upset people, troubleshooting, and managing projects all carry real value. Personal life experiences—like leading volunteers or handling conflict—count and can be translated into paid work.

Side Hustles That Don’t Drain Your Life

Side income doesn’t have to mean building an empire. The episode explores low-setup, low-stress options that align with existing strengths, from short-term projects to platform-based work that fits into real life.

Key TakeawaysMaking more money isn’t mysterious—it’s strategic. Income grows when skills, needs, and visibility align. The most powerful step is taking responsibility for understanding personal value and learning how to place it wisely. Whether through negotiating pay, building expertise, changing roles, or adding a small side income, progress comes from intentional, realistic action. When expenses can’t shrink further, increasing income becomes the other half of the equation—and it’s one that can be approached one small step at a time.

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Money doesn’t just live in your bank account—it lives in your gut, your sleep, and your sense of safety. What if saving wasn’t about restriction, but about relief? This episode breaks down how emergency savings can completely change your relationship with money.

In this episode, the conversation explores how deeply emotional money can be and how fear, panic, and avoidance often shape financial decisions more than logic ever does. Drawing from lived experience and insights from Get Good With Money by Tiffany Aliche, the discussion walks through practical, realistic ways to build emergency savings, reduce anxiety, and regain control. The focus isn’t on becoming wealthy overnight, but on creating stability, resilience, and peace of mind through intentional saving and smarter systems.

Top Topics CoveredThe Emotional Cost of MoneyMoney problems often show up as panic, dread, and sleepless nights. When bills arrive or emergencies hit, the lack of savings can trigger fear and avoidance. Understanding that money is emotional—not just mathematical—is the first step toward change.

Emergency Savings and the “Squirrel” MindsetEmergency savings are framed as protection, not deprivation. Using the analogy of squirrels storing acorns during good times, the episode emphasizes saving when life is calm so emergencies don’t lead straight to debt and chaos.

The Power of the First $1,000Building even a small emergency fund can break the cycle of constant debt. Once there’s a buffer, unexpected expenses no longer require credit cards, and financial momentum finally begins to shift.

The Noodle BudgetA “noodle budget” identifies the bare minimum needed to survive if everything goes wrong. Knowing this number removes fear and clarifies how much flexibility actually exists in everyday spending.

Automating Savings and Separating AccountsAutomating savings and separating money into purpose-driven accounts removes decision fatigue and emotional stress. Bills get paid, savings grow quietly, and spending money becomes clear and guilt-free.

Key TakeawaysEmergency savings create calm, not limitation. Having money set aside reduces panic, improves sleep, and allows better decisions during crises. Over time, savings transform money from a source of fear into a tool for freedom.

Priorities matter more than appearances. By focusing on what truly brings value—rather than constant small purchases—long-term goals like security, retirement, and meaningful experiences become possible.

Money works best when it’s intentional and invisible. Systems that move money automatically make consistency easier than willpower ever could.

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Money doesn’t have to feel scary, confusing, or overwhelming. It can become calm, clear, and even empowering. This is where learning to get good with money really begins.

This episode begins a new series focused on building a healthier, calmer relationship with money. It explores how fear, avoidance, and past experiences shape financial behavior, and how learning simple, practical systems can replace panic with clarity. Drawing inspiration from the book Get Good With Money by Tiffany Aliche, the episode focuses on understanding money emotionally first, then practically, so long-term change can actually stick.

Top Topics CoveredMoney and Emotional Stress

Money is rarely just about numbers. Anxiety, fear, and avoidance often come from early life experiences and repeated financial struggles. This episode explores how recognizing those emotional patterns is the first step toward changing them.

Budgeting Without Panic

Budgeting is reframed as awareness, not restriction. Instead of obsessing over every dollar, the focus is on simply understanding what comes in, what goes out, and where money actually lives. Knowledge replaces fear when money stops being a mystery.

Simple Categories That Create Control

Expenses are broken into clear groups—fixed bills, usage-based bills, and flexible spending. Seeing money this way makes it easier to identify where change is possible without feeling deprived or overwhelmed.

Systems That Support Real Life

Automation, multiple accounts, and separating bill money from spending money help reduce stress and protect progress. These systems aren’t about perfection—they’re about creating guardrails that make consistency easier.

Key TakeawaysGetting good with money starts by removing shame. Past mistakes don’t need to be relived or punished—they just need to be acknowledged and left behind. Progress comes from moving forward with better information, not perfect behavior.

Money improves when it becomes neutral. Like cleaning up a spill with a towel, financial missteps don’t require panic or self-judgment. They require calm action and follow-through.

A healthy relationship with money creates stability, confidence, and peace of mind. Wealth isn’t the first goal—emotional safety is. When fear is removed, better financial decisions naturally follow.

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We explore the power of listening to tough life stories—not to compare pain, but to understand human endurance, build compassion, and rediscover resilience. From personal family history to generational trauma and wisdom, the episode invites us to step beyond our own moment and tap into the deep well of human experience. By hearing how others have navigated impossible situations, we gain perspective—and a path forward.

Top Topics Covered:

1. The Story That Sparked It All

A reflection on the host’s grandmother who lived through extraordinary hardship—from immigration to loss, poverty, and displacement. Discovering her story through research led to a deeper appreciation of what past generations survived and why those stories matter.

2. Why Our Struggles Feel So Heavy

Our suffering often feels unique and overwhelming, not because it’s worse—but because it’s all we know. Without knowledge of the past, we miss out on the wisdom and perspective of those who lived through hardship with far fewer resources.

3. Pain Is Not a Competition

Acknowledging the suffering of others doesn’t erase our own. Instead, it grounds us in shared human experience and helps us carry our own burdens with more context and humility.

4. Generational Resilience and Lessons

Each generation faced its own form of chaos, danger, and uncertainty—from the Great Depression to nuclear war anxiety, to Gen Z’s digital saturation. Understanding this helps bridge divides and connects us through shared struggle, not blame.

5. Where to Find Real Stories

If you didn’t grow up hearing these stories firsthand, they’re still out there: in your community, your church, libraries, senior centers, volunteer work, or even through memoirs and biographies. Real people, real wisdom.

Takeaways:

This episode isn’t about dismissing modern pain—it’s about expanding our lens. The quiet strength of people who had no roadmap, no information, and no guarantees is deeply instructive. We aren’t the first to face hard times, and we don’t have to figure it out alone. When we connect with others—across generations, cultures, and stories—we discover that human resilience is not extraordinary; it's ordinary people doing the next right thing.

We learn to act even when we’re afraid. To take small steps, like those before us. And to remember that strength doesn’t come from avoiding pressure—it comes from walking through it. Their stories shape our own, if we choose to listen.

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265: The Power of Pretending: How Psychological Halloweenism Can Improve Your Life

In this episode, we explore a fascinating and unexpected idea: pretending your way into better choices. It might sound counterintuitive, especially in a culture that champions authenticity. But what if tapping into a different persona, even temporarily, could make you braver, healthier, and more productive? Welcome to the concept of psychological Halloweenism—the practice of stepping outside your own identity to access traits you need in the moment.

Inspired by a quote from Jim Henson—“Life’s like a movie. Write your own ending. Keep believing. Keep pretending.”—this episode dives into how adopting a different mindset or character can push us toward growth and better decision-making.

Top Topics:

Why New Year’s Resolutions Often Fail

We begin by recognizing the common trap of high-intensity resolutions—new planners, intense workouts, strict diets—that often fizzle out by mid-January. This failure isn’t about laziness or lack of discipline. It’s usually about starting too big, too fast, without any on-ramp or plan for consistency.

The Power of Starting Small

Small steps aren’t about lowering your standards—they’re about making your goals actually doable. Whether it’s reading one page a day, putting on workout clothes without requiring yourself to exercise, or eating one extra vegetable, these steps reduce friction and bypass resistance. Your brain doesn’t fight small goals.

Consistency Over Perfection

The core habit matters more than performance. Instead of tracking everything or aiming for high metrics, the focus should be on doing something most days—even if it’s small. This creates momentum and makes it easier to jump back in after setbacks.

How to Design Sustainable Habits

You’ll learn three practical rules: 1) Start from where you are now. 2) Shrink your habit until it fits your worst day. 3) Separate the habit of practice from perfect performance. It’s not about running fast—it’s about running consistently and learning what works for you.

Making It Work for Your Personality

Different people succeed in different ways. For some, writing goals in a journal is powerful. For others, like Jill, visual cues like post-it notes or image boards throughout the house are more effective. The goal is to find what works best for you—and stick with it.

Key Takeaways:

Start with one or two areas that would make the biggest difference in your life and build around that. Don’t try to fix everything at once. A single paragraph, one prayer, a quick walk, or five minutes of effort can grow into meaningful transformation over time. The real secret? Create habits so small and easy that you’ll do them even on your worst days.

Focus less on the impressive and more on the consistent. You don’t need a perfect plan or a fancy setup—just a realistic, manageable action you’re willing to repeat. Start today, start small, and keep going.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://startwithsmallsteps.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

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Episode 262 – How to Stop Blowing Things Out of Proportion

In this episode, we’re talking about something all of us struggle with: keeping perspective. Our minds are wired to detect danger, but that often means we blow small things way out of proportion while simultaneously ignoring real issues that truly deserve our attention. The episode explores how our brains misclassify urgency and importance, and how that can quietly sabotage our peace, health, and even our relationships.

From missed emails to health warnings, from unreturned texts to loud notifications, the brain often spirals into stress mode. But not everything is a crisis—and learning how to properly categorize problems can help us avoid unnecessary suffering and focus on what actually matters. This is a learned skill, not a personality trait, and it’s one we can all improve with intentional thought and calm practice.

The Mind’s Misclassification System

Our brains aren’t wired for truth—they’re wired for survival. That means we often inflate small inconveniences into full-blown emergencies and ignore critical but quiet signals. Whether it’s eye health affected by early diabetes or financial dangers masked by everyday distractions, we learn how to distinguish real threats from perceived ones.

The Urgent vs Important Grid

Drawing from frameworks like the Franklin-Covey model, the episode shows how urgency often drowns out importance. Trash day might be urgent, but your health may be quietly deteriorating in the background. Learning to prioritize whispering “important” tasks over shouting “urgent” ones can dramatically shift your stress levels.

Learning the Art of Proper Scaling

By asking practical questions like “Will this matter in a year?” or “Is this truly irreversible?”, we begin to deflate the balloon of anxiety. Most so-called catastrophes are just discomforts in disguise. The power of reframing through small questions and honest labeling is highlighted as a method to regain peace and focus.

Physical and Emotional Reset Techniques

Crisis often feels like chaos, but many stress reactions can be calmed with simple physical resets—taking a walk, unclenching your jaw, or breathing deeply. Physical grounding helps mental recalibration and reduces exaggerated thinking.

Using Repairability and Delayed Judgment

One powerful trick: delay the conclusion. Just because something feels overwhelming now doesn’t mean it’s permanent. Asking “Is this repairable?” and “What’s the next best step?” helps avoid spiraling and puts situations back into manageable scope.

🧠 Takeaways

Perspective is not a natural state—it’s a practice. Every moment we react with panic, we miss the opportunity to respond with clarity. Most things that feel like disasters are just stress in disguise. Not every email needs your soul, not every mistake defines your worth, and not every bad day equals a bad life. The key is learning how to scale things back to their true size and practicing this regularly—especially in moments of calm.

By shifting from catastrophizing to curious questioning, we become more grounded, more compassionate with ourselves, and more focused on the things that truly matter. Practicing perspective means reclaiming our peace, our energy, and our lives from the chaos of constant urgency.

This episode is a guide, a conversation, and a reminder that you can return to balance—one small, thoughtful step at a time.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://startwithsmallsteps.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

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The Doors of Possibility – Living with the Gift of Maybe

In this episode, I explore how uncertainty, instead of being our enemy, can actually be our greatest source of growth. Inspired by The Gift of Maybe by Allison Carmen, I reflect on how we can shift our mindset from fear and rigidity to curiosity and openness—one small step at a time.

I share a few tools that have changed my life, especially when facing uncertainty or big decisions. These aren’t complex frameworks but simple, powerful mental exercises that invite peace, clarity, and even joy into difficult or confusing situations.

Top Topics:

The Fear Behind Perfectionism

We often confuse perfectionism with high standards, but it’s really about fear. Fear of failure, judgment, and shame keeps us stuck in place. Perfectionism doesn’t protect us—it isolates us.

When Quitting Feels Safer Than Finishing

Many people stall at 70% of a project—not because they’re lazy, but because finishing makes it open to critique. This self-protective move is one of perfectionism’s sneakiest tactics.

Redefining Progress with Realistic Goals

John Acuff’s advice to “cut your goal in half or double your timeline” is a game-changer. Lowering the bar doesn’t mean giving up—it means creating a path to success that actually works.

Turning Good Enough into a Strategy

By choosing where to place your energy and embracing “strategic incompetence,” you reclaim your focus. Sometimes, a Word doc works just fine. Not everything needs bells and whistles.

Self-Compassion as the Real Productivity Hack

Brené Brown reminds us that being kind to ourselves when we’re imperfect is more powerful than pushing harder. A little self-love can go a long way.

Takeaways:

Perfectionism isn’t a personality trait—it’s a block to growth. Whether it shows up as procrastination, over-planning, or quitting early, its root is fear. The key to overcoming it lies in redefining success, simplifying goals, and replacing criticism with compassion. If we start treating ourselves like we’d treat a friend—with support, grace, and encouragement—we unlock our ability to finish, flourish, and feel proud of the messy, meaningful work we’re capable of.

Jill’s Links

http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com

https://startwithsmallsteps.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

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“You Be You, Boo-Boo” — But Should You?

In this episode, I explore the increasingly popular mantra of radical self-expression—“You be you, Boo-Boo”—and ask whether it really serves us, or anyone else. Is total authenticity always a good thing? Or could it sometimes lead to conflict, disconnection, and missed opportunities for deeper relationships?

Drawing from personal experiences, faith, historical insights, and observations from work and society, I break down what it really means to be “yourself” in a world that also requires connection, cooperation, and community.

Top Topics:

The Real Meaning of Bravery: I reflect on my childhood concept of bravery—being physically courageous but emotionally cautious—and how that evolved through reading Brene Brown's work.

The Freedom of Not Fitting In: Inspired by Maya Angelou’s quote, I explore how the need to belong often holds us back from being our true selves and how letting go of that need can be liberating.

Practical Steps to Braving the Wilderness: I break down Brene’s four practices—seeing others up close, speaking truth civilly, connecting through shared humanity, and cultivating a strong but open heart.

Personal Reflections on Approval-Seeking: From choosing conference outfits to forming relationships, I share how striving for acceptance has shaped my actions—and what it means to let go of that.

Takeaways:

The wilderness Brene Brown speaks of isn’t about isolation—it’s the powerful space where we stop molding ourselves for acceptance and start living in truth. This episode encourages you to look at the places in your life where you’re trying to impress others and ask: what would it look like to just be you?

When we bravely step into discomfort and stand firm in our values, we stop needing to fit in—because we finally belong to ourselves. Being vulnerable and honest isn’t weakness; it’s the ultimate strength. Whether in a boardroom, a relationship, or a quiet moment alone, showing up as your true self is the real victory.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/236-be-brave-and-find-true-belonging/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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234 - The Secret to Lasting Change: It’s Not Willpower!

In this episode, I talk about the real reasons we struggle with making progress on our goals — and how to fix it. Inspired by the powerful metaphors from “The Happiness Hypothesis” and “Switch,” I explore how the mind is like a rational Rider trying to steer an emotional Elephant along a winding Path. When we learn how to motivate our Elephant, direct our Rider, and clear the Path, meaningful change becomes not only possible but enjoyable.

Understanding the Rider and Elephant
We often think our failure to follow through is due to laziness, but it’s more about a conflict between emotion and logic. I explain how the Elephant (our emotions) tends to resist change while the Rider (our planner) gets stuck in overthinking.

Motivating the Emotional Side
Fear doesn't move the Elephant — hope and small wins do. I share how reframing goals and celebrating tiny milestones can energize you to keep going. It's about making the process exciting and worthwhile.

Giving the Rider Direction
Too many options lead to paralysis. I talk about choice architecture — creating pre-decisions that make action simpler, like scheduled workouts or limited food choices. When the Rider has a clear map, it stops stalling.

Making the Path Easy
We need an environment that supports our goals. That means setting out gym clothes, automating finances, or prepping for quick getaways. These routines eliminate friction and help us act automatically.

Visualizing the Future
One of my favorite tools: the “postcard from the future.” I use AI to generate vivid images of my goals realized, which I keep visible in my space. They remind me why I’m doing the hard things.

Rallying the Herd
Support is crucial. If friends and family aren’t on board, online groups can be life-changing. When we surround ourselves with others chasing similar goals, their momentum lifts us up too.

Takeaways:
You don’t need more discipline. You need a better system — one that motivates your emotions, guides your plans, and clears your path. Every step forward starts with understanding how your mind works and building an environment that makes change easier. It’s not about giant leaps. It’s about small, consistent wins that make you feel capable and confident. Keep your eye on the vision, celebrate each win, and know that you've got this.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/234-the-secret-to-lasting-change-its-not-willpower/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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233 - Tests to Understand What Makes Us Tick

Understanding personal motivation and behavior is one of the most powerful tools for self-improvement. This episode explores how personality tests can offer practical insight into how people work, what energizes them, and why certain strategies succeed where others fail. It’s not about putting people into boxes—it’s about using patterns and traits as clues to navigate life more effectively.

Top Topics:

Recognizing Behavioral Patterns
Everyone has habits and responses that repeat, often without noticing. Personality assessments help bring those patterns into focus. By observing what consistently works—and what doesn’t—it's possible to better understand tendencies, motivations, and blind spots. That kind of clarity opens the door to intentional, sustainable change.

How Myers-Briggs Transforms Relationships
One of the most widely known assessments, Myers-Briggs can offer insights into how people process information, make decisions, and interact with others. Learning to appreciate the strengths and weaknesses in different personality types leads to deeper understanding and stronger connections, especially in friendships and partnerships with contrasting traits.

The Four Tendencies: Motivation in Focus
Developed by Gretchen Rubin, the Four Tendencies framework identifies how people respond to expectations—both external and internal. Recognizing whether someone is an Upholder, Obliger, Questioner, or Rebel makes it easier to build effective habits and avoid frustration. For many, it's the missing piece in understanding why traditional advice doesn’t always work.

StrengthsFinder and the Value of Self-Knowledge at Work
StrengthsFinder identifies what people naturally do best. Knowing whether someone thrives in problem-solving, communication, learning, or leadership roles allows for smarter career decisions and more effective teamwork. It shifts the focus from fixing weaknesses to building on existing strengths.

Exploring the Landscape of Personality Tools
Beyond the big names, several other tools—such as the Big Five, Enneagram, DISC, and Hogan assessments—offer additional layers of insight. Each test highlights different aspects of personality, from emotional stability to core values and work preferences. Understanding how these assessments differ helps in selecting the right tool for personal or professional growth.

Takeaways:

Personality tests are more than entertaining quizzes—they can be transformative frameworks for self-awareness. Knowing how someone responds to pressure, what drives their behavior, and where they naturally excel provides a roadmap for making better decisions, reducing friction in relationships, and achieving goals more effectively.

Rather than guessing or mimicking someone else’s approach, these insights allow for tailored strategies that align with how a person actually operates. When people understand what makes them tick, they can stop fighting their nature and start building lives that truly fit.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/what-makes-us-tick-using-personality-tests-to-understand/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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231 - From Struggle to Strength

In this episode of Start With Small Steps, I share the deeply personal and transformative journey of understanding and owning my strengths. From childhood frustrations with writing to discovering a passion for math and science, I talk about how recognizing what you're naturally good at can shape your entire path forward.

The Power of Knowing Your Strengths:
Growing up, I learned the hard way that forcing yourself to be good at everything leads to frustration. Once I accepted that writing wasn’t my strength and that I lit up around science and math, my entire academic and career trajectory improved. Knowing your strengths isn’t about limitation—it’s about focus.

Interest vs. Ability:
I talk about how true success comes when interest meets ability. You might love a hobby, but if it doesn’t match your strengths, it can drain rather than energize you. I explain how to distinguish between fleeting passions and lasting competencies.

Feedback and Assessment Tools:
Friends and coworkers revealed strengths I didn’t even know I had. Tools like the Clifton Strengths Finder and High Five Test added unexpected insight. These moments of reflection helped me reframe how I see myself.

When Imitation Backfires:
I share the story of how I tried to mimic a successful coworker to get promoted. The turning point came during a work trip where she told me she could never do what I had just done. That moment helped me realize the importance of being the best version of me, not someone else.

Takeaways:
Recognizing your strengths brings clarity, energy, and direction. Use feedback and assessments to identify your unique talents. Don’t waste time chasing someone else’s strengths—grow what’s already within you. Build your life around the things that feel effortless, exciting, and empowering.

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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230 - Say Yes to Yourself

n this episode, the focus is on one of the most pivotal mindset shifts anyone can make: saying yes to opportunity, beginning with the internal yes. It's not just about being open to change—it's about understanding how to negotiate with ourselves, assess our limits, and move forward with clarity and confidence.

Sometimes, the biggest changes start with the smallest steps. Whether it's saying yes to something you're unsure about or redefining what a yes looks like, this discussion offers real, personal insights into how a thoughtful commitment can lead to lifelong passion, purpose, and transformation.

Saying Yes Starts Within
Every new opportunity begins with a decision. But the hardest person to convince is often ourselves. This episode explores how internal resistance can block growth—and how saying yes internally is a vital first step toward real change.

Understanding the Inner BATNA
Using negotiation theory, the concept of the “Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement” is applied inwardly. Instead of giving a full yes or a full no, it’s possible to shape a commitment that feels right for where we are now. Examples show how to create flexible agreements with ourselves to avoid burnout while still moving forward.

The Worst-Case Scenario (WATNA)
What’s the actual cost of saying no? Sometimes it's not failure—it’s missing out. There’s a thoughtful look at how evaluating the worst realistic outcome (instead of imagined fears) can help in decision-making, particularly when opportunities feel risky or unclear.

The Five Whys and Finding the Real Motivation
Peeling back the layers with the “Five Whys” technique leads to the real motivation behind our desires. Whether it's career, health, or creative pursuits, getting to the root “why” makes it easier to say yes with conviction.

Growth Through Stretching
Growth doesn’t come from staying in a comfort zone. Saying yes often means learning something new, stumbling a bit, and adjusting along the way. These stretch moments—while uncomfortable—create the capacity for greater confidence and fulfillment.

💡 Takeaways
Saying yes to opportunity isn’t about being blindly optimistic or overcommitting. It’s about tuning into what really matters, understanding personal boundaries, and crafting a yes that’s sustainable and aligned. By negotiating internally—through clarity, compassion, and practicality—it becomes easier to face new opportunities without fear or guilt.

When that first internal yes happens, it opens the door to growth, adventure, and impact. Life expands not through perfect planning, but through the willingness to try, stretch, and keep going. This mindset creates momentum and gives permission to grow into the version of ourselves that’s been waiting.

Saying yes—especially when it’s shaped with care—is a practice that builds courage, reveals purpose, and transforms the path ahead.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/4094-2/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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229 - How We Learn Matters More Than What We Learn

Learning is more than taking in information—it's about transformation. The way learning is approached often determines how deeply it takes root and impacts daily life. This episode explores why being intentional about the learning process makes all the difference. From methods like teaching, project-based work, and reflecting through struggle, to considering how technology like AI fits into the process, this discussion offers a roadmap to learning that leads to growth, resilience, and even joy.

Passive vs. Active Learning:
Absorbing content without focus—reading while distracted or listening without engagement—leads to shallow understanding. In contrast, active learning, where there’s intention, reflection, and application, creates change. Engaging deeply with a subject by asking questions, taking notes, or testing understanding results in better retention and real-life utility.

Teaching to Reinforce Knowledge:
One of the most effective ways to learn is to teach. When explaining a concept to others, it becomes necessary to understand it fully. Teaching sharpens thinking, exposes gaps in knowledge, and forces organization of ideas. The process of preparing to teach something naturally deepens personal mastery.

Learning Through Projects:
Doing something hands-on turns theory into practice. Projects—whether automating a smart home system, organizing with software, or crafting a creative piece—reveal the nuances of a skill. Starting with small, achievable tasks and expanding from there helps build confidence while naturally progressing into more complex areas.

The Role of Struggle in Learning:
Discomfort is not a sign of failure—it's the place where growth happens. When a concept feels difficult or frustrating, it’s often the moment just before a breakthrough. Seeking out challenges, revisiting hard material, and wrestling with ideas help integrate knowledge on a deeper level. Struggle builds both competence and character.

Learning Styles and Personalization:
Recognizing how information is best absorbed—visually, audibly, or kinesthetically—can change the learning experience entirely. Tailoring materials and methods to fit natural preferences makes learning smoother and more sustainable. It's not about finding the "right" tool, but the one that fits how the brain works best.

Using AI to Enhance, Not Replace, Learning:
AI can be a powerful tool for structuring learning paths, brainstorming ideas, and breaking down complex topics. It accelerates access to resources and helps clarify confusion. But it should serve as a guide, not a replacement for real thought. Over-reliance on AI can prevent the necessary struggle and reflection that makes learning stick.

Unexpected Passions and Practical Payoffs:
Sometimes, what begins as an obligation or neutral task becomes a passion. Exploring new skills can lead to unexpected joy, relationships, or career changes. Other times, learning something unpleasant helps avoid frustration later. Either way, engaging fully with a subject—even without passion—can lead to worthwhile outcomes.

Takeaways:
The quality of learning depends more on approach than on the content itself. Passive consumption won’t create growth; active engagement will. Teaching others, doing real projects, embracing struggle, and understanding personal learning styles are all ways to turn ordinary learning into something life-changing. AI and other tools can support the journey but can't substitute the internal work required to truly learn.

Even when something doesn’t seem enjoyable at first, there’s value in trying it anyway. Passion can grow unexpectedly, and sometimes the reward is not in the task itself, but in the freedom or skill it unlocks. Learning is not about information—it’s about identity. Becoming a better learner builds confidence for tackling anything, from career changes to hobbies to everyday challenges.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/4090-2/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps (link corrected)

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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228 - From Dreamer to Doer

In today’s episode, I’m getting real about the trap of being a procrastinator and overthinker. I share how I spent years stuck in analysis, planning, and learning — but not actually changing anything. And most importantly, I talk about how I broke out of that cycle through small daily actions.

My Journey from Shelf-Help Scholar to Action Taker:
I open up about my old habit of endlessly gathering advice without doing anything with it — and the moment I realized dreaming wasn’t enough.

My Favorite Action Strategies:
I break down the simple techniques that helped me shift into action, like the Two-Minute Rule, habit stacking, friction reduction, and life scheduling.

Finding My Why:
I explain how connecting tasks to a bigger purpose (like my dream of hiking across Spain) kept me motivated even on the tough days.

How I Use the Five Second Rule:
I share how counting down from five helps me smash through hesitation and move toward my goals instantly.

Takeaways:
If you’re feeling stuck, you’re not broken — you just need to move. I learned that action, not thinking, is what builds a better life. Even if all you do today is take one small step, you’re already winning. I hope you walk away from this episode with new energy, new hope, and a simple truth ringing in your ears: you already have everything you need to change your life. You just have to start.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/228-from-dreamer-to-doer/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps (link corrected)

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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227 - Rebuild Real Trust

Trust is one of the most powerful forces in human connection—and also one of the hardest to rebuild when it’s been broken. In this episode, I explore what it means to trust again after growing up in an environment where trust didn’t come easily. Through personal reflection and real-world observations, this conversation unpacks how trust is formed, how it's tested, and how to rebuild it one small step at a time.

Understanding Early Lessons in Trust
Childhood experiences have a lasting impact on how we relate to others. When people around us are unreliable, inconsistent, or hurtful, it’s easy to adopt a mindset of self-reliance and emotional distance. That mindset can follow us into adulthood and shape every relationship we form.

The Circle of Trust: Not Everyone Gets In
Not all relationships require the same level of openness. There’s value in having different levels of closeness with different people—from casual acquaintances to deeply trusted friends. Being intentional about who enters each level of that circle helps protect emotional well-being while still allowing meaningful connection.

The Trust Equation
Credibility, reliability, and intimacy all factor into how much someone can be trusted. But when someone is overly focused on themselves, it weakens that trust. This equation offers a useful framework to assess relationships more clearly and make thoughtful choices about who to invest in.

Looks Can Be Deceiving
Charm and appearance often fool people into thinking someone is more trustworthy than they really are. That "halo effect" can be dangerous, especially when it distracts from consistent, trustworthy behavior. Recognizing this pattern can prevent misplaced trust.

Building Trust Over Time
Trust doesn’t happen overnight. It’s built through small actions repeated consistently—by noticing whether people do what they say, how they respond to conflict, and whether they show genuine care. True trust grows in layers, with each honest moment reinforcing the foundation.

Takeaways:
Trust is essential to living a full, connected life—but it’s okay to start small. Real relationships aren’t about perfection; they’re about reliability, mutual respect, and emotional safety. Paying attention to patterns, being mindful of your own history with trust, and gradually opening up to the right people can lead to deeper, healthier connections. Everyone deserves relationships grounded in trust—and it’s never too late to start building them.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/trust-or-distrusst/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps (link corrected)

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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100 - Can a Christian Be Stoic?

In this episode, I explore a question that has shaped much of my spiritual journey: can a Christian embrace Stoicism? I share how I discovered Stoicism at a young age and how its principles helped me build resilience during difficult times. Later, when I became a Christian, I had to ask whether those Stoic values still had a place in my life—and what I found was both challenging and enlightening.

Virtue and Character in Both PathsBoth Stoicism and Christianity call us to a life of integrity—emphasizing values like courage, wisdom, justice, and self-control. I talk about how these overlapping principles shaped the way I approach daily life, relationships, and spiritual growth. Even though the motivations are different—Stoicism is about inner peace, Christianity is about serving God—the virtues themselves resonate in both.

Emotions: Controlled or Embraced?One of the biggest contrasts is how emotions are treated. Stoicism promotes emotional restraint. Christianity invites emotional honesty. I reflect on the emotional lives of Jesus and biblical figures like David and Hannah, and what that says about God’s design for our emotional nature.

Suffering and ResilienceBoth philosophies prepare us to face hardship. I talk about how Stoicism taught me to endure, but Christianity taught me that suffering has a purpose. One builds strength through discipline; the other brings hope through surrender. Together, they have helped me become more resilient—not just tough, but spiritually anchored.

Where Stoicism Can Fall ShortI also share moments where Stoicism made me overly self-reliant. Sometimes I default to solving problems instead of praying through them. That’s where my faith checks me. Christianity invites me to lean on God, not just on grit and planning.

💡 Takeaways:

Stoicism gave me tools—clarity, discipline, emotional balance. Christianity gave me relationship—grace, hope, and divine love. I don’t have to abandon one to honor the other. Instead, I’ve learned how to thoughtfully integrate what builds virtue while staying grounded in faith. It’s not about blending the two into a new belief system, but about recognizing where timeless wisdom can sharpen spiritual truth.

Whether you’ve ever wrestled with Stoicism and Christianity or are just curious about how ancient philosophy fits into modern faith, this episode is an invitation to reflect, discern, and grow.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/226-stoicism-and-christianity/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps (link corrected)

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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225 - Ancient Stoics Solve Modern Problems

In this episode, I reflect on how discovering Stoicism as a young girl profoundly changed how I view the world. From the ancient teachings of Zeno and Epictetus to modern-day applications like mindful eating and emotional resilience, Stoicism offers practical wisdom for anyone navigating life’s chaos.

The Origins of Stoicism:
I explore the fascinating story of Zeno of Citium, a shipwrecked merchant whose misfortune led him to philosophy. His teachings on virtue, nature, and practical ethics laid the foundation for a timeless way of living.

Lessons from Epictetus:
A former slave turned philosopher, Epictetus taught that true freedom lies in mastering your internal world. His views on control, endurance, and serenity still resonate today.

Personal Stories of Applying Stoicism:
I share how I used Stoicism to handle tough family dynamics, including confrontations with my father and grandmother. These stories show how “negative visualization” and calm resolve can transform even the hardest situations.

Modern-Day Stoicism:
From budgeting to dieting, I explain how I use Stoic principles in everyday life. Whether it’s mindful eating or resisting emotional spending, these ancient tools still work.

Virtues in Action:
Stoicism isn’t just about reading—it's about doing. I talk about how wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance guide my choices, and how practicing them intentionally can change your life.

Takeaways:
This episode is a reminder that life’s hardships are inevitable, but our response is within our control. By practicing Stoicism, we gain the tools to live with purpose, resilience, and integrity. The virtues of courage and wisdom aren’t just lofty ideals—they’re daily habits we can build. Whether you’re facing a tough boss, a diet, or emotional overwhelm, Stoicism gives you the mindset to endure and grow. Don’t just read the philosophy—live it.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/225-ancient-stoics-solve-modern-problems/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps (link corrected)

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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224 - Moderation In Everything

In this episode, I talk about a life lesson that’s stuck with me since childhood: the importance of moderation. From Greek philosophy to personal experiences with family and faith, I unpack how “all things in moderation” has become a guiding principle in how I view the world and navigate life’s ups and downs. We look at why extremes are so prevalent in today’s culture—and how finding the middle ground might be the key to more peace, better health, and healthier relationships.

Greek Roots of Moderation
I share how my love for mythology evolved into an interest in philosophy, especially the ancient Greek idea that virtue lies between two extremes. From bravery to self-control, the Greeks saw moderation not as weakness, but as wisdom.

The Real-World Impact of Extremes
Through stories about my own family, I reflect on how living in extremes—whether it's drinking, spending, or judging others—can lead to breakdowns in relationships and self-destruction.

Moderation in Emotional and Spiritual Life
Drawing on Stoic philosophers like Seneca and Marcus Aurelius, I explain how emotional balance is just as crucial. It’s not about being emotionless, but being emotionally grounded.

Finding the Middle in Modern Life
I touch on examples like food, exercise, and even how we treat others. It’s not about giving up on enjoyment or discipline—it’s about avoiding the burnout and blind spots that come with excess.

Takeaways:
The key message is simple but powerful: moderation leads to a more peaceful and effective life. We don’t have to live in emotional chaos or rigid restraint. Whether it’s how we eat, spend, love, or work, finding a balance helps us be more present and more authentic. This lesson shaped my path, and I hope it helps you think differently about how you approach the choices and rhythms in your own life.

Try identifying one area where you might be going to an extreme, and explore what a more balanced path might look like. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about being intentional.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/224-moderation-in-everything/.

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps (link corrected)

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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223 - Advice from Silly Places

This episode explores how surprisingly profound life advice can be found in unexpected places—like cartoons, comic strips, movies, TV shows, music, and even bumper stickers. Drawing from a wide range of pop culture references, this episode reveals the timeless truths hidden in the most playful and unconventional sources.

Cartoons with Character and Wisdom
Classic animated characters like Tweety Bird, Bugs Bunny, Road Runner, and Wile E. Coyote aren’t just entertaining—they offer insights about thinking ahead, handling frustration, and staying true to yourself. Even characters like Yosemite Sam and Elmer Fudd show what happens when anger goes unchecked, while Bugs Bunny reminds us that wit often wins over brute force.

Philosophy Through Comics: Calvin and Hobbes
This beloved comic strip is full of wisdom disguised as childhood curiosity. From grappling with fairness and creativity to reflecting on friendship, imagination, and life’s meaning, Calvin and Hobbes present simple truths with emotional depth.

Song Lyrics That Speak to the Soul
From “Let It Be” to “I Can’t Make You Love Me,” the lyrics of popular songs are filled with lessons about love, patience, heartbreak, and resilience. Whether uplifting or sobering, these messages hit home with their honest reflections on the human experience.

Wise Words from Television and Film
Iconic lines from shows and movies like Rocky, The Lion King, Parks and Rec, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Mandalorian, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer provide motivation, emotional strength, and perspective. Quotes like “Just keep swimming” or “Tomorrow is another day” remind listeners to push forward, appreciate the present, and keep hope alive.

Takeaways:
Life’s best advice doesn’t always come from books or lectures—it often comes from the unexpected corners of pop culture. Cartoons teach resilience and wit, comic strips bring philosophical insight, music speaks directly to the heart, and films show how to endure and grow. Whether it’s inspiration from Rocky’s determination, comfort in Dory’s persistence, or humor in Homer Simpson’s honesty, wisdom is all around. Sometimes, all it takes is listening closely to the world we already enjoy.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/223-advice-from-silly-places/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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223 - Advice from Silly Places

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/223-advice-from-silly-places/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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222 - The Two Buckets: A Simple Way to Solve Life’s Problems

Hi everyone, it’s Jill from the North Woods! In this episode, I’m sharing one of the biggest life lessons I ever learned—the concept of putting problems into two buckets: things I can change and things I cannot. This idea, rooted in the Serenity Prayer, has helped me navigate everything from growing up with an alcoholic parent to financial struggles, career changes, and even weight loss.

I’ll take you through the history of this powerful mindset, from ancient Greek philosophers to modern problem-solving techniques, and share real-life examples of how shifting my focus has made all the difference. If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of how to tackle life’s challenges, this episode is for you.

The Serenity Prayer and How It Shaped My Thinking
I first learned the Serenity Prayer in my teens while attending Alateen, a support group for children of alcoholics. This simple yet profound message helped me reframe my struggles, allowing me to focus on what I could change instead of feeling powerless over what I couldn’t.

The Long History of This Wisdom
The idea of separating problems into what’s within our control and what isn’t has been around for centuries. I share insights from historical figures like Epictetus, Solomon ibn Gabirol, and Shantideva, all of whom recognized the power of focusing on what we can control.

Real-Life Applications of the Two Buckets Approach
-Growing Up with an Alcoholic Parent – I couldn’t stop my dad from drinking, but I could create a full, active life outside of that challenge.
-Politics & Global Issues – I can’t change everything, but I can vote, volunteer, and contribute where I can.
-Financial Stability & Retirement Worries – Social Security’s future is uncertain, but I can prepare by saving more and making smart financial decisions.
-Weight Loss & Health – I once thought my weight was out of my control until I found new solutions and the right support.

Re-Evaluating What’s in Your “Can’t Change” Bucket
Sometimes, we assume a problem is out of our hands when it’s really not. I share examples of creative problem-solving—like how a simple change (adding mirrors) made people stop complaining about slow elevators. The key is to step back, get a new perspective, and challenge assumptions.

Takeaways:
✅ Put problems into two buckets: Can you change it or not?
✅ Focus on action instead of worrying about things beyond your control.
✅ Re-evaluate your buckets over time—something that seemed unchangeable might have a solution you haven’t seen yet.
✅ Seek outside advice when you feel stuck—sometimes an expert or a fresh perspective can make all the difference.
✅ If something is in the "can change" bucket, take the first step today.

This mindset shift has helped me reduce stress and solve problems more effectively, and I hope it helps you too. Now, I challenge you—think about a problem in your life right now. Which bucket does it belong in?

Let me know what you think! Email me at Jill@startwithsmallsteps.com, comment on my channel, or share this episode with someone who might need it. Thanks for listening, and have a great week!

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/the-two-buckets-a-simple-way-to-solve-lifes-problems/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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221 - Don't Let Anyone Push Your Buttons

In this episode, I share one of the most powerful lessons I ever learned—from a book I discovered as a child. Wayne Dyer’s Your Erroneous Zones completely changed how I saw emotions, reactions, and the way people try to manipulate us. This book helped me navigate a tough home life, stand up to bullies, and, most importantly, stop letting others control how I felt.

I explore the emotional traps that keep people stuck—anger, worry, guilt, insecurity, and perfectionism—and how to break free from them. The biggest takeaway? No one can push your buttons unless you let them. Learning this truth gave me the confidence to take charge of my emotions, and in this episode, I’ll share how you can do the same.

The Book That Changed My Perspective
I was a little kid in a chaotic home when I first saw Wayne Dyer on PBS talking about Your Erroneous Zones. Something about his message clicked. Even as a child, I realized that emotions weren’t just things that happened to me—I had control over them.

The Emotional Traps That Keep Us Stuck
Dyer identifies five major thought patterns that hold us back:

Anger – Letting frustration control you instead of responding calmly.
Worry – Stressing over things that are outside your control.
Guilt – Staying stuck in past mistakes instead of making amends and moving on.
Insecurity – Constant self-doubt that keeps you from taking action.
Perfectionism – Thinking you need to be 100% ready before you start something.
I share how I struggled with these emotions and the small steps I took to overcome them.

The Most Life-Changing Lesson: No One Can Push Your Buttons
This was the biggest revelation: people only have power over you if you let them. I saw firsthand how my father emotionally manipulated my mother. But when I learned to control my reactions, he stopped targeting me. If someone is making you feel bad, it’s because you’re giving them permission to do so.

How to Take Back Control of Your Emotions
If you struggle with reacting emotionally to situations, try these strategies:

-Pause Before Reacting – Take five seconds to ask, Is this worth my peace of mind?
-Reframe the Situation – Most people’s negativity is about them, not you.
-Use Humor – Responding with a joke can take the power away from insults.
-Practice Inner Silence – Sometimes, the best response is no response.
-Find Compassion – Understanding why someone acts a certain way can help you detach.

Takeaways:
-Your emotions belong to you. No one else can make you feel something unless you allow them to.
-Taking action is the antidote to fear. Perfectionism, insecurity, and doubt all shrink when you start moving forward.
-When life squeezes you, what’s inside of you comes out. If you don’t like how you react under pressure, it’s time to work on what’s inside.
-The more you control your emotions, the freer you become. People lose their ability to manipulate you when you stop reacting.
]
If you’ve ever felt like someone else has control over your emotions, it’s time to take that power back. By shifting your mindset and making small changes, you can free yourself from anger, worry, guilt, and insecurity.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/221-take-control-of-your-emotions/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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220 - Stop Playing It Safe

In this episode of Start with Small Steps, Jill from the North Woods shares a powerful lesson learned from playing chess with her father: the best way to improve is to challenge yourself against stronger opponents. This principle extends beyond the chessboard and applies to personal growth, career development, fitness, and creative pursuits. Jill explores how surrounding yourself with skilled people, finding the right level of challenge, and embracing discomfort can lead to transformation. She also discusses the role of AI as a learning tool and the importance of applying what you observe from others.

The Power of Playing Against Stronger Opponents
Jill’s father never let her win at chess, and this tough love approach taught her to embrace challenges rather than seek easy victories. Whether in work, hobbies, or personal goals, true growth comes from learning from those who are ahead of us.

The Right Level of Challenge for Improvement
Growth requires finding the right balance—not too easy, not too difficult. Jill explains how to assess what level of challenge will push you forward without overwhelming you, whether it's in writing, public speaking, or fitness.

Using AI as a Learning Tool (Not a Replacement)
Jill shares how she uses AI to refine her writing rather than replace it. She discusses the importance of maintaining personal effort while leveraging AI for insights and efficiency.

Learning from "Secret Mentors"
Sometimes, the best mentors aren’t the ones we formally ask for help, but those we quietly observe. Jill explains how watching skilled colleagues and analyzing their methods has helped her improve in various areas of life.

The Importance of Embracing Discomfort
If something feels uncomfortable—whether it’s public speaking, learning a new skill, or pushing past fitness limits—it’s often a sign of growth. Jill encourages listeners to lean into discomfort as a necessary step toward mastery.

Applying What You Learn
It’s not enough to listen, read, or watch others—you must put what you learn into action. Jill provides practical steps for tracking progress and continuously improving through observation, reflection, and practice.

Takeaways
✅ Challenge yourself by learning from those ahead of you. Staying in your comfort zone won’t lead to growth. Seek out opportunities to be around people who push you to be better.

✅ Find the right level of difficulty. Growth happens in stages—too easy, and you won’t progress; too hard, and you may give up. Identify challenges that stretch but don’t break you.

✅ Leverage AI and technology as tools for improvement. AI can help refine your skills, but real learning comes from effort and practice.

✅ Observe and learn from successful people. Whether it’s a mentor, coworker, or expert in your field, analyze their techniques and apply them to your own journey.

✅ Embrace discomfort as a sign of progress. If something feels difficult, that means you're learning. Stay persistent and celebrate small wins along the way.

✅ Take action. Don’t just consume information—apply it. Growth only happens when you put knowledge into practice.

Challenge for You
This week, put yourself in a situation where you are the least experienced person in the room. Whether in a meeting, a class, or a fitness session, find someone who is better than you and learn from them. Write down what you observe, practice what you learn, and reflect on your progress.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/220-stop-playing-it-safe/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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219 - No Choice Is A Choice

Have you ever avoided making a decision, hoping things would just work themselves out, only to realize later that doing nothing made everything worse? I know I have, and in this episode, I’m talking about how no decision is still a decision—just not one you control. I share personal stories about how my own indecision has impacted my career, relationships, and health, sometimes in ways I deeply regret. I also talk about the hidden cost of avoiding choices and why small, intentional steps can put you back in control of your life.

For a long time, I thought that if I didn’t make a choice, I was keeping my options open. But I’ve learned that when I fail to act, life steps in and makes the choice for me—and it’s rarely the one I would have wanted. When I graduated college, I couldn’t decide what path to take, and instead of making an intentional choice, I drifted into a job out of necessity. Years later, I realized I had closed doors to other opportunities simply because I hadn’t been proactive. The same thing happened in my health. I spent years trying and failing to lose weight, pushing off real action because I wasn’t sure what would work. Eventually, my health suffered, and I was forced to take action, but by then, I had fewer choices available to me.

One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that inaction has real consequences. Not deciding doesn’t protect you from failure; it often makes things worse. When I ignored problems with my house, I ended up with water damage that could have been avoided. When I stayed in a comfortable but stagnant job, I watched my retirement savings fall behind. It’s easy to think we’ll have more time later, but time moves fast, and before we know it, years have passed without progress.

I also understand why people avoid making choices, because I’ve done it too. Sometimes we’re afraid of picking the wrong option, so we convince ourselves that waiting is better. Other times, we don’t want to take responsibility in case things go wrong. And then there’s the belief that we have all the time in the world, but that’s an illusion. The truth is, the longer we wait, the fewer options we have.

TakeawaysWhat I’ve learned is that even a bad decision is often better than no decision at all. When I finally started taking control of my career, my health, and my finances, things didn’t change overnight, but they started moving in the right direction. The key is to stop waiting for the perfect moment and just take one small step. If you’re stuck in a job you don’t like, start by updating your resume. If your health is suffering, make one simple change today. If a relationship isn’t working, have that hard conversation.

I challenge you to think about one area of your life where you feel stuck. What’s one small action you can take today? It doesn’t have to be huge—just something to move you forward. I’d love to hear from you about the choices you’re facing. You can email me at jillatstartwithsmallsteps.com or leave a comment on YouTube. Remember, doing nothing is still a choice—so why not choose to take control?

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/219-no-choice-is-a-choice/

Jill’s Links****

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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218 - Solve the Right Problem

In today’s episode, I’m sharing something that completely changed my life—learning to solve the right problem. For years, I kept hitting the same roadblocks, whether it was with my weight, finances, or personal goals. No matter how much effort I put in, nothing seemed to work. And then I realized—I was solving the wrong problem.

Instead of focusing on what really needed fixing, I was throwing solutions at the wrong issues. Buying gym equipment didn’t solve my weight loss struggles. Cutting back on small purchases didn’t fix my income problem. It wasn’t until I stepped back, got clear on what the real issues were, and tackled them head-on that I finally started making progress.

If you’ve ever felt stuck—trying everything but never seeing results—this episode is for you. I’ll walk you through practical steps to help you figure out what’s really holding you back and how to finally move forward.

The Trap of Solving the Wrong Problem
I share my personal experience of spinning my wheels for years, fixing surface-level issues instead of the actual root cause. I use the example of fixing the brakes on a broken-down car when the real issue is the engine—no matter what you do, you won’t get anywhere.
Defining Your Problem Clearly
One of the biggest mistakes people make is setting vague goals like “I want to lose weight” or “I need to save money.” That’s too broad! I talk about how breaking problems down into specific, actionable pieces leads to real solutions.
Using the Five Whys to Get to the Root Cause
Ever feel like you’re treating symptoms instead of the real issue? I explain how asking why five times can reveal what’s actually stopping you from making progress. This method helped me understand that my struggles with exercise weren’t about needing gym equipment—they were about my habits and motivation.
Identifying Patterns That Keep You Stuck
I used to think my financial struggles were because of big expenses, but when I started tracking my spending, I realized it was small, recurring purchases that were draining my bank account. I talk about how identifying patterns—rather than focusing on one-time mistakes—can help you see what’s really going wrong.
Focusing on What You Can Control
I can’t control my genetics or my past financial mistakes, but I can control what I eat, how often I move, and how I budget my money. In this section, I help you shift your focus toward the things you actually can change.
Testing Small Before Going All In
Before making a big commitment, test a small version first! I share why I should have tried a short-term gym membership before buying expensive equipment. The same logic applies to career changes—if you want to start a business, try freelancing first instead of quitting your job overnight.
Tracking Data Instead of Relying on Feelings
I used to think I barely spent any money, but my spending journal told a different story. I also thought I wasn’t overeating—until I started tracking my food. I explain how keeping a journal or log can reveal the truth behind your habits.
Imagining Future Consequences
One of the most powerful exercises I use is asking myself, What happens if I don’t solve this problem? If I don’t start exercising now, will I still be able to hike and travel when I retire? If I don’t fix my finances, will I have enough to live on later? Thinking about my future self has helped me prioritize the most important changes.
Learning from People Who Have Been There
I didn’t figure all of this out on my own—I learned from others. Whether it’s books, podcasts, or mentors, I talk about how studying people who have solved similar problems can help you fast-track your progress.

Key Takeaways:
✔️ Define the real problem – Get specific instead of setting vague goals.
✔️ Use the Five Whys – Dig deep to find the root cause of your struggles.
✔️ Look at patterns, not just one-time mistakes – Track your habits to see what’s really happening.
✔️ Focus on what you can control – Stop wasting energy on things outside your influence.
✔️ Test before committing – Small experiments can prevent big regrets.
✔️ Track data, not feelings – Journaling helps you make smarter decisions.
✔️ Think about your future self – Will you regret not fixing this later?
✔️ Learn from others – Find mentors, books, or resources that can guide you.
✔️ Start small, but start today – You don’t have to fix everything at once. Just take the first step.

Final Thoughts:
If you’re feeling stuck, I want you to ask yourself: Am I solving the right problem?

Once I started focusing on the real obstacles in my life, everything changed. My weight loss journey became more effective, my finances improved, and I stopped wasting time on things that didn’t matter.

I hope this episode helps you start thinking differently about the challenges in your life. If you enjoyed it, please share it with a friend who might need it!

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/218-solve-the-right-problem-how-to-break-free-from-repeated-failures/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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217 - We’re All Walking Contradictions

Hey everyone, it’s Jill from the Northwoods! In this episode, I’m sharing one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in life: every strength has a weakness, and every weakness has a hidden strength. Understanding this has helped me navigate relationships, improve my leadership skills, and find more balance in my life.

I’ll take you through personal stories—like how my ability to build strong teams made me a great leader but held me back in tough negotiations. I’ll also break down common traits like confidence, empathy, ambition, and adaptability, showing how they can either work for us or against us. And, of course, I’ll share practical strategies for self-awareness, personal growth, and embracing our full selves.

1. We’re All a Coin – Strengths and Weaknesses Are Connected
I’ve learned that no trait is entirely good or bad—it all depends on context. Confidence can turn into arrogance, perfectionism can cause procrastination, and empathy can lead to emotional exhaustion. Recognizing this has helped me approach life with more balance and understanding.

2. The Hidden Cost of Leaning Too Hard on Strengths
I share a personal experience from my tech career where my leadership style worked well—until I had to handle tough contract negotiations. I was great at team-building but struggled with standing my ground in business. Learning to reframe my perspective helped me find a way to grow in an area that didn’t come naturally to me.

3. Finding Balance in Our Strengths and Weaknesses
We all tend to overuse certain traits, but self-awareness can help us adjust. I’ll share some of my favorite strategies, like journaling, seeking feedback, and partnering with people who complement our weaknesses.

4. Giving Grace to Ourselves and Others
It’s easy to get frustrated with people who think differently than we do. But when I started seeing people as complex individuals—with both strengths and flaws—it changed how I approached relationships. I’ll share how we can extend more understanding and patience to ourselves and those around us.

5. Practical Steps for Growth
Identify patterns in your own behavior – What strength do you overuse? Where do you struggle?
-Seek feedback – Ask people you trust to help you see your blind spots.
-Train the opposite skill – If you’re overly cautious, practice small risks. If you’re a perfectionist, challenge yourself to start before you feel “ready.”
-Surround yourself with people who balance you out – A team or friendship built on complementary strengths is powerful.

Takeaways
-We all have strengths and weaknesses, and they are often two sides of the same coin.
-Self-awareness is the first step to growth—journaling, reflection, and feedback help us adjust.
-Context matters—sometimes a strength can be a liability if used in the wrong way.
-Giving grace to ourselves and others makes life and relationships a lot easier.
-Growth is a process—no one is perfect, and that’s okay.

Your Challenge This Week
Take a moment to reflect on your own strengths and weaknesses. Ask yourself:

What’s a strength I rely on too much?
What’s a weakness that actually benefits me in some way?
How can I find better balance in my life?
I’d love to hear your thoughts! Email me at jillatstartwithsmallsteps.com or leave a comment. And if you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend who might need to hear it!

🎙️ Thanks for listening—I appreciate you, and I’ll see you next week!

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/217-were-all-walking-contradictions/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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216 - Feeling Overwhelmed? Start Small

Big goals are intimidating. But breaking them into smaller steps makes them achievable. Here’s how:

Start With the Simplest Action
Instead of thinking about the entire project, focus on the tiniest, easiest step. If your goal is to clean your house, don’t aim for perfection. Just throw out the trash. If you want to start exercising, do one push-up. The key is to start so small you can’t possibly fail.

Use the Snowball Effect
Once you complete a small task, you’ll feel motivated to do another. This builds momentum. When I cleaned my childhood home, I started with the bathroom because it was small. That small success encouraged me to keep going.

Make It a Habit
Small steps aren’t just about getting things done—they’re about forming habits. Productivity expert BJ Fogg recommends starting with "tiny habits" so small they become second nature. For example, if you want to floss daily, just start by flossing one tooth. Once the habit is established, it naturally expands.

Adjust Based on Your Life
One of the best things about small steps is that they fit into any schedule. When I was busy with school and caregiving, my steps were extra tiny. During summer, I could do a little more. The key is consistency, not intensity.

Stack Small Steps Over Time
Over time, small steps compound into big change. When I started focusing on weight loss, I didn’t immediately jump into an intense fitness routine. Instead, I started walking more, eating slightly healthier, and making gradual adjustments. Now, I’m in a much better place—because I built my success in layers.

Why Small Steps Work for Every Part of Life
The beauty of small steps is that they apply to anything:

✅ Health & Fitness: Couch to 5K programs work by gradually increasing running time. Small steps make exercise sustainable.
✅ Cleaning & Organization: Cleaning one small area at a time prevents burnout and keeps spaces manageable.
✅ Work & Productivity: Tackling one email, one meeting, or one task at a time creates steady progress.
✅ Mental Health & Personal Growth: One mindful moment, one journal entry, or one deep breath can make all the difference.

Life keeps moving while you take small steps. You don’t have to put everything else on hold—you can still enjoy hobbies, family, and rest while making steady progress toward your goals.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/216-feeling-overwhelmed-start-small/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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215 - What Not to Do with ADHD

In this episode, we explore what not to do when managing ADHD—whether it’s your own or that of someone you love. From handling distractions to avoiding harmful self-talk, this conversation is packed with practical strategies and insights. Learn how to set realistic expectations, build ADHD-friendly routines, and foster healthier relationships through understanding and collaboration.

The Scottie Method for Time Management
Inspired by Star Trek, the Scottie Method encourages you to overestimate the time a task might take. This approach helps reframe successes as wins rather than failures, especially when projects take longer than expected.

Eat the Frog or Eat the Cake?
We break down the difference between tackling hard tasks first (“eating the frog”) versus starting with easier wins (“eating the cake”). The best strategy depends on your energy levels and when you’re most focused during the day.

Managing Distractions
ADHD and distractions go hand in hand. Learn how to block time-wasting websites, create a focused workspace, and find stimulating yet non-distracting ways to stay engaged.

Building ADHD-Friendly Routines
Routines may feel stifling, but they reduce decision fatigue and free up mental energy for more important tasks. We discuss how setting small daily habits can lead to greater productivity and stability.

Supporting Someone With ADHD
We delve into the importance of understanding and patience when supporting someone with ADHD. Criticism, unrealistic expectations, or piling on tasks often backfires. Instead, focus on collaboration and leveraging strengths.

Takeaways
—Set Yourself Up for Success: Use tools like timers, focus apps, and checklists to combat forgetfulness and stay organized.
—Avoid Perfectionism: Aim to complete tasks rather than striving for perfection every time—it’s about progress, not flawless results.
—Ask for Help: Don’t be afraid to lean on others for tasks that don’t align with your strengths. Collaboration can improve both productivity and relationships.
—Limit Overcommitment: Learn to say “no” when needed to avoid burnout and spread yourself too thin.
—Understand ADHD Strengths: ADHD brains bring creativity, problem-solving, and energy. Embrace these qualities while finding systems to manage weaknesses.

A Note for Caregivers and Loved Ones
If you’re supporting someone with ADHD, take the time to ask questions, offer help in areas they struggle with, and celebrate their strengths. Building a supportive relationship creates a foundation for growth and mutual understanding.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/adhd-survival-guide-what-not-to-do/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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214 - Unlocking ADHD Superpowers

In this episode, I’m sharing how I’ve learned to see my ADHD not as a struggle, but as a set of superpowers that help me succeed in life. Growing up, I faced a lot of misunderstandings about what ADHD really is, but over time, I discovered that the way my brain works gives me unique strengths. From hyperfocus to creativity and resilience, I’ll talk about the positive sides of ADHD and how I’ve learned to lean into them. If you've ever felt like ADHD was holding you back, this episode is for you.

Hyperfocus – My Secret Weapon for Productivity
One of the biggest strengths of my ADHD is hyperfocus. When I’m interested in something, I can tune out the world and get lost in it for hours. Whether it's working on my podcast, organizing my YouTube channel, or diving into a creative project, my hyperfocus allows me to accomplish a ton in a short period of time. But I’ve also learned that it’s important to direct that focus towards the right things—something I still work on every day.

Creativity – Thinking Outside the Box
My ADHD brain is always bursting with ideas. Whether it’s finding new ways to solve problems, coming up with creative content, or brainstorming fresh approaches, I see the world differently. This creativity has helped me stand out in my career and personal life, and I’ve found ways to harness it by writing down my ideas and revisiting them when I need inspiration.

Resilience – Bouncing Back from Challenges
Living with ADHD means constantly facing obstacles, from forgetfulness to impulsivity. But over the years, I’ve developed a level of resilience that helps me push through and keep going. I’ve learned how to adapt quickly and find solutions, even when things don’t go as planned. This ability to pivot and stay flexible has been one of my greatest assets.

High Energy – Embracing Enthusiasm
I have a lot of energy, and when I’m excited about something, I go all in. My enthusiasm helps me tackle projects, connect with people, and stay motivated. Whether it's work, hobbies, or new challenges, I bring a level of passion and excitement that keeps me moving forward. Of course, I’ve learned to manage this energy by balancing it with rest and mindfulness when needed.

Emotional Awareness – Understanding People on a Deeper Level
While ADHD can sometimes make me seem distracted, I’m actually very intuitive and emotionally aware. I pick up on subtle social cues and care deeply about the people around me. My ability to connect with others and offer support has become one of my strongest qualities, even if I don’t always show it in conventional ways.

Takeaways:
-ADHD comes with incredible strengths like hyperfocus, creativity, and resilience.
-Learning to work with my ADHD instead of against it has been life-changing.
-Finding the right balance between energy and focus is key to success.
-Support from friends and understanding my own needs has made a big difference in how I manage ADHD in everyday life.

Join me in this episode as I celebrate the superpowers of ADHD and share tips on how you can harness yours too!

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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213 - ADHD Roadmap to Victories

In this episode, I share my personal journey of managing ADHD and turning its challenges into strengths. From my chaotic childhood to my organized adult life, I discuss the tools, habits, and strategies that have helped me succeed. Along the way, I highlight the importance of small steps, incremental change, and embracing ADHD as a unique way of thinking. Whether you’re navigating your own ADHD journey or supporting someone who is, this episode is filled with practical insights and encouragement to help you thrive.

Recognizing ADHD Struggles
I talk about how ADHD affected me growing up in a disorganized home with minimal support. From procrastination to time blindness, I highlight the key challenges I faced and how they shaped my early approach to school and life.

The Power of Small Steps
Breaking big tasks into smaller, actionable steps changed everything for me. I explain how focusing on one step at a time helped me tackle overwhelming projects like research papers and big deadlines.

Tools and Technology That Changed My Life
From Todoist to Notion, I dive into the digital tools that have brought structure and clarity to my life. I share how I use time blocking, color-coded notes, and multiple reminders to stay on track.

Managing Emotions and Impulsivity
I explore techniques I’ve used to handle emotional responses and impulsive tendencies. Whether it’s pausing before reacting or waiting before making a purchase, these strategies have helped me gain control over my decisions.

Turning ADHD into a Strength
Instead of seeing ADHD as a limitation, I’ve learned to use its unique traits, like hyperfocus and creativity, to my advantage. I discuss how reframing ADHD as a strength has improved my work, relationships, and overall happiness.

Takeaways

-Small Changes Make a Big Impact: Start by making one or two small adjustments, like organizing your workspace or adopting a digital task manager.
-Experiment with Tools: Find apps, routines, and strategies that work for your lifestyle, and don’t be afraid to tweak them as needed.
-Leverage Your Strengths: ADHD comes with unique advantages, such as creativity and energy. Recognize these and use them to your benefit.
-Embrace Accountability: Tie your goals to others, whether it’s a friend, coworker, or coach. Accountability can keep you motivated and on track.
-Be Kind to Yourself: Managing ADHD is a journey. Progress takes time, but with persistence, it’s possible to thrive.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/213-adhd-roadmap-to-victories/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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Living with ADHD: My Journey to Understanding

In this episode, I open up about my personal journey with ADHD, a condition that’s been both a challenge and a unique part of who I am. From my restless childhood to my career as an adult navigating deadlines, relationships, and responsibilities, I share the ups, downs, and surprising discoveries I’ve made along the way. ADHD isn’t just about being distracted or hyper—it’s about learning how to manage a brain that works a little differently. I’ll take you through what it’s like to live with ADHD, what I’ve learned about myself, and how I’ve found strategies that actually work.

- What ADHD Feels Like from the Inside:
I describe what it was like growing up with ADHD before I even knew what it was. From constant fidgeting to disappearing into my "happy place," I share how these traits shaped my childhood and how I learned to navigate them.

- Hyperfocus, Inattention, and Time Blindness:
ADHD isn’t just about being easily distracted. I dive into how hyperfocus and time blindness have impacted my life—sometimes helping me achieve big things and other times making me feel stuck.

- The Emotional Side of ADHD:
The frustration of being labeled “lazy” or “unfocused” when I was really trying my best weighed heavily on me. I talk about how those feelings affected my self-esteem and how I’ve worked to reframe my relationship with ADHD.

- Tools and Strategies That Changed My Life:
I share how tools like planners, apps, and external accountability helped me find structure in the chaos. These strategies didn’t just make my life easier—they helped me embrace my strengths.

Takeaways:

You’re Not Alone in This: ADHD looks different for everyone, but the struggles are real and shared. There’s no shame in seeking help or finding creative ways to cope.
Small Steps Lead to Big Changes: Whether it’s setting up a simple to-do list or finding a supportive community, small actions can create meaningful progress.
Focus on What Works for You: From embracing technology to leaning into what motivates me, I’ve learned that it’s about finding solutions that fit your life—not trying to mold yourself into someone else’s idea of “normal.”

Closing Thoughts:
I hope my story inspires you to rethink how you approach ADHD—whether it’s your own or someone else’s. It’s not about “fixing” yourself; it’s about finding what works and creating a life that fits you. If you’d like to share your story or ask me questions, email me at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com. Let’s navigate this journey together!
https://startwithsmallsteps.com/living-with-adhd-my-journey-to-understanding/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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211 - Why Scrooge’s Transformation Resonates Today

In this festive episode, we explore the timeless themes and moral lessons of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. From Ebenezer Scrooge's dramatic transformation to the significance of generosity, community, and self-reflection, this story has much to teach us about living meaningful lives. Join us as we break down the pivotal moments of the tale, reflect on its modern applications, and celebrate the enduring charm of this holiday classic.

The Story of Ebenezer Scrooge
We unpack the journey of a man who transforms from a cold-hearted miser to a generous soul after being visited by three spirits. Scrooge’s path from selfishness to selflessness serves as a powerful reminder that change is always possible.

The Three Ghosts and Their Symbolism
Discover the roles of the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet to Come. Each spirit challenges Scrooge to reflect on his life, confront his choices, and consider the legacy he wishes to leave behind.

Dickens' Social Commentary
Learn how Charles Dickens used A Christmas Carol to address social issues of Victorian England, from poverty to the plight of factory workers, and how these themes resonate in today's world.

Applying the Lessons to Modern Life
Whether it’s embracing generosity, fostering relationships, or reflecting on our own lives, the lessons of A Christmas Carol remain profoundly relevant. We discuss actionable ways to carry the story’s spirit into our daily routines.

Takeaways:
-Redemption is always possible. Scrooge’s transformation shows that with self-reflection and effort, we can change our lives for the better.
-Generosity is a gift that multiplies. Helping others enriches not only their lives but also ours, fostering deeper connections and purpose.
-Time is precious. Whether it’s spending time with loved ones or using our days to make meaningful contributions, A Christmas Carol reminds us to value the present.
-Ignorance and want must be addressed. Dickens’ warning about societal neglect remains crucial—education and support for the vulnerable are more important than ever.

Closing Thoughts:
This episode highlights why A Christmas Carol continues to inspire readers and viewers after nearly two centuries. Its message of compassion and transformation reminds us that the true spirit of Christmas—and life itself—lies in kindness, love, and redemption.

Let the timeless story of Scrooge encourage you to embrace the joy and generosity of the holiday season, and carry that spirit with you all year long.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/211-why-scrooges-transformation-resonates-today/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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210 - Turning Lemons into Success

In this episode, we dive into the inspiring ideas presented in Zach Friedman’s book, The Lemonade Life: How to Create Success, Create Happiness, and Conquer Anything. We explore how self-awareness, resilience, and purposeful action can transform your life. From breaking free of the comparison trap to experimenting with new ideas, Friedman’s insights provide a fresh perspective on building a fulfilling life. If you’ve ever felt stuck or unsure how to achieve your goals, this episode offers practical steps to help you move forward.

Escaping the Joneses Trap
One of the first lessons in The Lemonade Life is breaking free from the cycle of comparison. Trying to "keep up with the Joneses" often leads to dissatisfaction, as we rarely see the full picture of others' lives. Instead of chasing external validation, Friedman urges us to focus inward and align our actions with what truly matters to us.

The Importance of Self-Awareness
Friedman emphasizes the critical role of self-awareness in achieving happiness and success. By asking ourselves questions like "What makes me happy?" and "What unique talents can I share with the world?" we can create a life that feels authentic and rewarding. This section of the podcast discusses practical steps to cultivate self-awareness and align it with your goals.

Life as an Experiment
Success rarely follows a straight line. Friedman suggests treating life as an experiment, where failures and missteps are opportunities to learn and grow. We explore how trying new approaches, analyzing results, and adjusting your strategies can pave the way for personal and professional breakthroughs.

Navigating Life with a Compass
Instead of relying on rigid plans, Friedman advocates for using a compass to guide your direction. This metaphorical compass helps you stay true to your North Star—your values and long-term goals—while adapting to life’s inevitable twists and turns. In this segment, we discuss how a compass-based mindset encourages flexibility and resilience.

Committing to Plan A
One of Friedman’s boldest ideas is abandoning the safety net of Plan B. While this doesn’t mean taking reckless risks, it emphasizes the power of fully committing to your primary goal. We discuss how focusing on Plan A allows you to channel your energy and creativity into making your dreams a reality.

Key Takeaways:

-Stop comparing your life to others and start focusing on your unique path.
-Self-awareness is the foundation of success—discover what truly matters to you.
-Life is a series of experiments; embrace failure as part of the process.
-Use a compass to navigate your journey, focusing on direction rather than a fixed path.
-Commit fully to your primary goal and avoid diluting your efforts with fallback plans.
Final Thoughts:

The Lemonade Life isn’t about reaching a perfect destination—it’s about enjoying the journey, learning from challenges, and celebrating small wins along the way. Take a moment to reflect on your personal compass. What’s ahead of you? What lessons have you learned from your past? What inspires you, and what holds you back?

If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe, share it with friends, and leave a comment. For questions or feedback, reach out to us at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com. Let’s keep turning life’s lemons into success and happiness, one step at a time.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/210-turning-lemons-into-success/

https://www.zackfriedman.com/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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209 - The Lemonade vs. Lemon Life

We’re diving into the idea of turning life’s lemons into lemonade, inspired by Zach Friedman’s book, The Lemonade Life: How to Fuel Success, Create Happiness, and Conquer Anything. We’ll explore how to shift from a passive, “Lemon Life” mindset to an empowering “Lemonade Life,” where you take charge and thrive. I’ll also share personal reflections, practical tools like the PRISM framework, and insights into overcoming common personality pitfalls that hold us back. Get ready to learn how embracing risks and building the right mindset can transform your life!

I break down what it means to live a Lemon Life, where you’re reactive and stuck, versus a Lemonade Life, where you’re proactive and intentional. We all have the power to choose how we approach life’s challenges.
The PRISM Framework

Perspective, Risk, Independence, Self-Awareness, and Motion—this is your roadmap to creating happiness and success. I talk about how each of these elements can help you reframe setbacks and take meaningful steps forward.
Recognizing Personality Pitfalls

Are you an External Excuser, Steady Settler, Daring Disruptor, or Change Chaser? I discuss how these tendencies can hold you back and share tips to overcome them.
The Power of Happiness and Teamwork

Happiness isn’t something you wait for; it’s something you cultivate first. I also highlight the importance of finding your “wolf pack”—the supportive people who help you succeed.

Learning from Failure
Failure isn’t the end of the road. It’s a stepping stone to success. I share personal stories about how setbacks shaped my journey and why risk-taking is essential to growth.

Takeaways:
Start shifting your mindset today—what challenges can you reframe as opportunities?
Figure out which personality type might be holding you back and take small steps to change those habits.
Don’t wait to find happiness. Start by building gratitude and joy right now.
Surround yourself with people who challenge and inspire you, and make sure you’re supporting them too.
Embrace failure as part of the process—it’s the best teacher for long-term success.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/209-the-lemonade-vs-lemon-life/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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208 - Simple Ways to Feel at Home in Any Place

In this episode, we explore This Is Where You Belong by Melanie Warnick, a book that examines how to create a sense of belonging no matter where you live. The host reflects on her own journey to embrace her town, which has never felt like home, and Warnick’s practical advice for fostering connection, appreciation, and engagement within one’s community.

The Illusion of “Elsewhere”: We often believe we’d be happier in a new place, but the reality is that happiness depends more on our perspective and community than location. Warnick’s insight helps dismantle the myth that a move will “solve everything.”

The Power of Knowing Your Neighbors: Engaging with neighbors creates a feeling of community and security. Building connections can be as simple as a friendly hello or lending a hand. When neighbors help each other, a town feels much more like home.

Exploring the Local Scene: Discovering the unique offerings of your area—parks, markets, eateries, and historic spots—provides a fresh view and appreciation for where you live. Even if you’ve been in the area for years, Warnick suggests there’s always something new to explore.

Volunteering and Community Involvement: Engaging in community work helps you feel part of something bigger and more invested in the local area. Volunteering or joining a club can be transformative for both you and the community.

Developing a Routine: Frequenting a favorite coffee shop, park, or walking route creates familiarity and a sense of belonging. Finding small routines that connect you to the place can make any location feel more comfortable and “yours.”

Takeaways
-Feeling at home is often about mindset more than physical location.
-Building local connections and engaging in local activities can help transform a place into a beloved home.
-Seeing the uniqueness of a place—the people, traditions, and sights—fosters a genuine appreciation for it.
-Small efforts to connect with others and engage in the community can make you feel rooted no matter where you are.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/208-being-at-home-where-you-live/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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207 - Transforming Overthinking With A New Soundtrack

In today’s episode, we explore John Acuff’s Soundtracks: A Surprising Solution to Overthinking. Acuff dives into the idea that we are the stories we tell ourselves, and how these internal "soundtracks" can either propel us forward or hold us back. We discuss the importance of recognizing negative soundtracks, retiring them, and replacing them with positive ones. Whether it’s perfectionism or fear of failure, Acuff’s advice offers practical steps to stop overthinking and start achieving your goals.

Identifying Broken Soundtracks: Acuff explains how negative soundtracks are often so ingrained in our minds that we don’t even notice them. We explore how to identify these self-sabotaging thoughts and why they are so destructive.

Neuroplasticity and the Power to Change: A key concept in Soundtracks is neuroplasticity—the idea that our brains are capable of change at any age. This gives us the ability to rewrite our mental playlists and adopt more positive beliefs.

Taking Action to Overcome Overthinking: The episode highlights how taking even the smallest action can disrupt the cycle of overthinking. By focusing on what we can do, rather than what we fear, we build confidence and momentum.

Takeaways:
Your thoughts shape your actions: Negative soundtracks can hold you back, but recognizing and replacing them is key to overcoming overthinking.
Neuroplasticity empowers change: It’s never too late to rewire your brain and adopt healthier thought patterns.
Action disrupts overthinking: Start small, take action, and watch your confidence grow.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/207-transforming-overthinking-with-a-new-soundtrack/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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206 - Meet New People and Build Lasting Friendships

In this episode, we explore how to make new friends and build lasting relationships in a world where social connections have become harder to maintain. Inspired by Start With Hello by Shannon Martin, we discuss how small steps can lead to big changes in your social life. Whether you’re looking to rebuild connections lost during the pandemic or find new ways to meet people, this episode offers practical advice on how to start.

The Power of Hello: How something as simple as greeting your neighbors can create opportunities for connection.
Conversation Starters: Turning everyday events like buying a new car into ways to meet new people.
Joining Clubs or Hobbies: How participating in group activities or hobbies helps form connections with like-minded people.
The Challenge of Social Endurance: Recognizing that not every attempt to make friends will succeed, but persistence is key.
The Importance of Vulnerability: Authenticity and openness are crucial in building strong, lasting friendships.

Takeaways:
Start Small: Meeting new people doesn’t require grand gestures—just saying “hello” is often the first step. Be Consistent: Building friendships takes time and requires patience and endurance. Not every interaction will lead to a lasting connection, but some will. Be Genuine: Friendships are built on authenticity, so approach new relationships with openness and curiosity rather than a need to impress.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/206-meet-new-people-and-build-lasting-friendships/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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205 - Harnessing Military Brat Lessons

In this episode, we talk about Harris Faulkner’s book Nine Rules of Engagement, where she shares life lessons gleaned from growing up in a military family. Faulkner reflects on how military values such as resilience, teamwork, and integrity have shaped her approach to personal success. These principles are not just for soldiers but can be applied to everyday life to achieve success, overcome challenges, and develop inner strength.

Trust in Your Potential: Faulkner emphasizes how military life fosters a sense of self-reliance and potential. Boot camp is more than just physical endurance—it’s about pushing mental and emotional boundaries to discover your true strength.

Building Your Special Forces: Surrounding yourself with trusted individuals—your own "special forces"—is critical for overcoming life’s battles. Faulkner encourages finding people who have your back and nurture mutual trust.

Overcoming Demons: Faulkner's rule on dealing with personal demons stands out. Whether they are habits or internal struggles, facing them head-on is essential for growth. She shares personal stories about how confronting her own shortcomings led to progress.

Takeaways:
This episode underlines the importance of personal integrity, readiness, and teamwork. The key to success lies in understanding your mission, staying ready to act, and always maintaining strong personal relationships. Tune in to learn how Faulkner’s military upbringing can inspire and guide your personal journey to success.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/205-harnessing-military-brat-lessons/

https://www.harpercollins.com/blogs/authors/harris-faulkner

https://abcnews.go.com/US/book-excerpt-harris-faulkners-rules-engagement/story?id=56245142

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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204 - The World Through the Five Senses

In this episode, we read about the fascinating world of senses based on Gretchen Rubin's book Life in Five Senses. We explore how being more mindful of sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch can profoundly change how we experience life.

Sight: Vision is more than what meets the eye. Our brain fills in the gaps, making sense of incomplete or ambiguous images. We also learn how perception changes based on context, like hunger influencing our view of objects as food.

Sound: Rubin talks about the contrast between city noise and natural quiet. Even silence has its own "noise" if we listen closely. She explores how focusing on everyday sounds, like the hum of traffic or the chop of vegetables, can offer new insights into our surroundings.

Smell and Taste: These senses are strongly linked, guiding our food choices and triggering memories. Rubin reveals how scents like freshly baked cookies can create emotional responses, even influencing decisions like buying a house.

Touch: The pandemic made us realize how much we crave human touch, whether it's a hug or a pat on the shoulder. Touch extends beyond physical connection, including the vibrations of a car or the feel of soft fabrics.

Takeaways:

-Becoming more aware of our senses enriches our experience of the world.
-Small steps, like focusing on one sense at a time, can deepen mindfulness.
-Rubin encourages us to journal our sensory experiences to enhance memories and appreciation for everyday life.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/204-the-world-through-the-five-senses/

https://gretchenrubin.com/books/life-in-five-senses/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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203 - Rediscovering Life Through Our Senses

In this episode, we explore the fascinating world of our senses with insights from Gretchen Rubin's book Life in Five Senses. We discuss how our senses shape our understanding of the world, the ways in which they adapt when one is lost, and how paying attention to them can enhance our everyday experiences.

The Role of Senses in Perception: We explore how our brain processes sensory information to create a complete picture of the world, combining inputs like sight, sound, and smell to form our understanding.

Adaptability of Senses: Rubin shares her experience of losing her sense of smell due to COVID-19 and how this impacted her perception of taste. This temporary loss highlighted the interconnectedness of our senses and their adaptability when one is compromised.

Unique Sensory Experiences: Everyone experiences the world differently through their senses. We discuss how personal preferences, such as taste and smell, vary and how our brain's biases influence these sensory experiences.

Enhancing Sensory Awareness: Rubin's daily visits to the Metropolitan Museum of Art were an attempt to immerse herself fully in sensory experiences. We discuss how such practices can deepen our appreciation of the world around us and bring us more into the present moment.

Takeaways:

Our senses are powerful tools that shape our perception of the world. By paying closer attention to them, we can enhance our experiences and find more joy in everyday life.

The adaptability of our senses is remarkable, showing how our body compensates when one is lost or diminished.

Each person's sensory experience is unique, shaped by their preferences and brain's biases. Embracing these differences can lead to a deeper understanding of ourselves and others.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/203-rediscovering-life-through-our-senses/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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202 - Wear the Six Thinking Hats

In this episode, we explore Edward de Bono’s revolutionary framework, "The Six Thinking Hats." This method offers a structured approach to problem-solving and decision-making by encouraging participants to adopt different mindsets, each represented by a colored hat. We explore how this technique can be applied in various scenarios, from corporate meetings to family discussions, to foster better collaboration and innovative solutions.

Blue Hat: The Blue Hat is all about control and organization. It sets the agenda, defines the problem, and ensures that the discussion remains focused.

White Hat: Focused on facts and information, the White Hat calls for data-driven thinking. It eliminates biases, enabling a clear view of the situation.

Green Hat: Creativity flourishes under the Green Hat. It encourages thinking outside the box, exploring new possibilities and ideas.

Yellow Hat: This hat embodies optimism. It looks at the positives, seeking the benefits and opportunities in any scenario.

Red Hat: The Red Hat allows for the expression of emotions and feelings, which are crucial but often overlooked in decision-making.

Black Hat: Lastly, the Black Hat introduces caution. It highlights potential pitfalls, helping teams to avoid hasty, ill-considered decisions.

Introduction to the Six Thinking Hats: We start by explaining the core concept of the Six Thinking Hats, detailing each hat's role in the decision-making process. Learn how the Blue Hat manages the flow of the discussion, while the White Hat focuses on facts, and the Green Hat unleashes creativity.

Real-Life Applications: Discover how the Six Thinking Hats can be applied to everyday situations, like planning a vacation or making strategic business decisions. We share examples that highlight how this method can transform complex, contentious discussions into productive and inclusive decision-making processes.

The Benefits of Using the Hats: We discuss why the Six Thinking Hats are effective in fostering balanced thinking. By separating emotions from facts and allowing space for creative ideas, this method ensures that all aspects of a problem are considered, leading to well-rounded solutions.

Key Takeaways:

-The Six Thinking Hats method encourages exploring different perspectives to enhance problem-solving and decision-making.
-This approach fosters collaboration by ensuring that every viewpoint is considered in a structured manner.
-Using the Six Thinking Hats can lead to more innovative, practical, and inclusive solutions, whether in a corporate setting or personal life.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/202-wear-the-six-thinking-hats/

https://www.debonogroup.com/services/core-programs/six-thinking-hats/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOMDQgjb360

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Six_Thinking_Hats

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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201 - Creating Your Own Luck

The intriguing concept of luck as presented in A.H.Z. Carr’s book "How to Attract Good Luck and Make the Most of It in Your Daily Life." challenges the traditional notion of luck as mere chance or superstition, Carr offers a practical approach to creating luck through preparedness and the right mindset.

Redefining Luck: Carr redefines luck as not a mystical force but a product of our responses to opportunities. He emphasizes that luck arises when we are prepared for chance events. For instance, if a piece of paper blows in our path, our decision to pick it up or ignore it can lead to different outcomes. This proactive response is what transforms chance into luck.

Attracting Opportunities: The first step to creating luck is attracting opportunities. Carr argues that being likable and maintaining a zest for life are key factors. Friendly and generous people tend to draw others to them, increasing their chances of encountering opportunities. He also warns against traits like greediness and anxiety, which can repel luck.

Recognizing and Responding to Opportunities: Recognizing opportunities when they arise is crucial. Being alert and attuned to the rhythms of life helps us identify potential in everyday events. Once recognized, acting on these opportunities is vital. Carr shares personal stories and examples to illustrate the importance of timely and appropriate responses to opportunities.

Adapting to Your Environment: Carr highlights the importance of adapting to the rhythms of your environment. Whether in a bustling city or a quiet rural area, recognizing and responding to the unique opportunities in your surroundings can enhance your luck. Understanding and adapting to these rhythms is essential for creating luck.

Takeaways:
Luck is about being prepared and responsive to opportunities. By being likable, recognizing opportunities, and acting on them, you can create your own luck. Additionally, adapting to your environment helps in identifying and seizing opportunities, further enhancing your chances of experiencing good luck.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/creating-your-own-luck/

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18079569-how-to-attract-good-luck

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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The MEEPS Method for Problem-Solving

Change is hard, but with the right strategy, it becomes manageable. The MEMPS method—Motivate, Equip, Nudge, Push, and Shove—offers a structured approach to tackling problems and achieving goals. Here’s how you can apply this method to your own life. The system takes into account the book by Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein, Nudge.

Motivate The first step is to inspire excitement. Create a vision board, set clear goals, and involve your friends and family for support. Motivation is about fostering a desire for the end result, making the journey towards it exciting and desirable.

Equip Preparation is crucial. Ensure you have everything you need before starting. For example, if you’re aiming to exercise more, have the right clothes, shoes, and a gym plan ready. Properly equipping yourself prevents loss of momentum and sets a solid foundation for success.

Nudge Subtle reminders and small incentives help keep you on track. Whether it’s setting reminders on your phone or using apps like Streaks, gentle nudges maintain progress without overwhelming pressure. They serve as friendly prompts to keep you moving in the right direction.

Push Sometimes, a firmer approach is necessary. Set clear, measurable benchmarks and involve others to hold you accountable. If mornings aren’t working for your exercise routine, adjust the plan. Direct actions, like placing alarm clocks away from your bed, ensure you take the necessary steps towards your goals.

Shove This is the last resort. It involves significant consequences or commitments that make it almost impossible not to follow through. For instance, committing to give away money if you don’t achieve a goal can be a powerful motivator. While harsh, shoves ensure that critical goals are met.

The MEMPS method is versatile and can be tailored to various goals, from health and fitness to professional development. By following these steps, you create a structured pathway to success, ensuring that every effort you make brings you closer to your desired outcome. Start with motivation, prepare yourself, nudge gently, push when needed, and reserve the shove for when it’s absolutely necessary.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=Y7BoHeGhB0I

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/the-meeps-method-for-problem-solving/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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199 - Overcoming Costs and Creating Incentives

This episode examines how costs, incentives, and biases influence our behavior and decision-making processes. Drawing from both economics and psychology, we discuss strategies to identify and manage these factors effectively, ensuring better outcomes in personal a nd professional scenarios.

The Role of Incentives: We explore how incentives, whether financial, social, or intrinsic, significantly impact behavior. From bonuses at work to rewards for good grades, incentives motivate us by offering tangible or intangible benefits. Stephen Levitt’s work highlights how even small incentives can drive substantial changes in behavior. We discuss various examples and the importance of creating effective incentive structures.

Understanding Costs: Costs are not limited to financial expenses; they also include time, stress, and opportunity costs. We delve into how evaluating these costs helps in making more informed decisions. Real-life examples illustrate the hidden costs we often overlook. Understanding the full spectrum of costs associated with our decisions is crucial for making better choices.

Psychological Influences: Behavioral economics combines psychology and economics to understand decision-making biases. We discuss common biases, such as resistance to change and the preference for immediate rewards, and how they affect our choices. By recognizing these biases, we can develop strategies to overcome them and make more rational decisions.

Managing Costs and Enhancing Incentives: To make better decisions, it’s essential to identify and manage costs effectively. We cover strategies for recognizing direct and indirect costs and mitigating them through informed planning.

Additionally, we discuss the importance of clear goals and rewards, visible progress tracking, and regular reassessment of incentive programs to ensure they lead to desired behaviors without unintended negative consequences.

Takeaways:

Understanding and balancing costs and incentives is essential for making informed decisions and fostering positive behavior changes. By recognizing the true costs of our actions and strategically implementing incentives, we can improve our personal and professional lives. Join us as we explore these concepts and learn how to navigate costs and incentives for better decision-making.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/199-overcoming-costs-and-creating-incentives/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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198 - Navigating the Challenges of People Pleasing

In this episode, we explore the often-overlooked downside of being too nice. Drawing from "Anxious to Please: Seven Revolutionary Practices for the Chronically Nice" by James Rapson and Craig English, we discuss how chronic people pleasing can impact mental health, relationships, and personal fulfillment. We offer practical strategies to help listeners find a balance between kindness and self-respect.

The Hidden Costs of People Pleasing: Chronic people pleasing can lead to low self-esteem, depression, and strained relationships. It often involves second-guessing oneself and constantly seeking approval.

Recognizing Over-Accommodation: Awareness is the first step towards change. It is crucial to identify situations where one is overly accommodating and reflect on the emotions and thoughts behind these behaviors.
Steps to Reclaim Your Authenticity:

Small Acts of Self-Assertion: Start with minor actions like suggesting a restaurant or declining additional work.

Forgiveness and Patience: Changing ingrained habits takes time. Be kind to yourself throughout the process.

The Desert Practice: Spending time alone helps one reconnect with one’s personal desires and needs. This practice encourages listening to one's own voice away from external influences.

Developing a Personal Ethic: Adopt a mindset similar to a warrior who acts based on personal ethics rather than automatic niceness. This involves making conscious decisions aligned with personal values.
Takeaways:

Balance Kindness with Self-Respect: It's essential to be kind without compromising one’s own well-being. Awareness and small steps towards self-assertion can help achieve this balance.

Practice Solitude: Regularly spending time alone helps you understand and prioritize your needs.

Conscious Decision Making: Acting based on personal ethics rather than habitual niceness leads to a more authentic and fulfilling life.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/198-breaking-free-from-people-pleasing/

https://www.amazon.com/Anxious-Please-Revolutionary-Practices-Chronically-ebook/dp/B001U29UDK

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

Anxious to Please: 7 Revolutionary Practices for the Chronically Nice

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197 - Seven Key Questions to Be Self-Aware

Understanding our essential self is a journey, one that requires introspection and a willingness to ask challenging questions. We look into these questions, drawing from Dain Dunston's book, Being Essential: Seven Questions for Living and Leading with Radical Self-Awareness. This two-part series emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in navigating life's journey and achieving personal growth.

1 Where Are You? This foundational question urges listeners to evaluate their current life position, not just physically but emotionally and psychologically. It sets the stage for understanding one’s starting point in the journey of self-awareness.
2 Why Are You Here? Delving into the meaning behind our existence and actions, this question helps listeners identify their life’s purpose, providing a clear direction and making everyday challenges more manageable.
3 Who Are You Being? Examining the roles we play in life, this question distinguishes between our essential and synthetic selves, encouraging authentic living.
4 What Do You Want? Understanding our desires and goals is crucial. This question helps listeners align their actions with their true aspirations, creating a cohesive path forward.
5 What Wants to Happen? This metaphysical inquiry explores the broader direction of our lives, encouraging alignment with the larger movements of the world or our community.
6 What Don’t You Know? Acknowledging knowledge gaps and seeking to fill them is essential for growth. Confronting the unknowns that hinder progress is a key aspect of self-awareness.
7 How Does This Feel? Assessing our emotional responses to our journey helps us navigate its complexities. Mixed feelings are natural, and understanding them aids in personal development.

Takeaways:
• Reflecting on these seven questions can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself, promoting personal growth and a more fulfilling life.
• Small steps towards self-awareness, as emphasized by Burroughs, can significantly impact overall well-being.
Authenticity in our roles and understanding our true desires are essential components of a meaningful life journey.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/seven-key-questions-to-be-self-aware/

https://daindunston.com/books/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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196 - Your Essential Being

In this episode, we explore the concept of radical self-awareness, a transformative practice that allows us to reconnect with our core identity. Inspired by Dane Dunstan's book "Being Essential: Seven Questions for Living and Leading with Radical Self-Awareness," we delve into how understanding our essential self can help us navigate life with clarity and purpose.

Key Takeaways:

Understanding Radical Self-Awareness: It's a practice that combines emotional intelligence, perceptiveness, and critical thinking. It involves recognizing our strengths, weaknesses, and motivations to lead our minds effectively.

Overcoming External Labels: We often get boxed into outdated perceptions by those around us. Embracing our evolved selves requires breaking free from these labels and understanding our true identity.

The Essential Child: Revisiting childhood passions and moments of pure joy can guide us in understanding what makes us feel alive. These core desires help align our lives with our authentic selves.

Identifying Genuine Aspirations: Many pursue goals imposed by societal norms, leading to unfulfillment. Identifying what we genuinely want allows us to set meaningful goals and make authentic choices.

Reflective Questions: Dunstan suggests using introspective questions to explore our essential self. Reflecting on where we feel most alive and what excites us provides insights into our true nature.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/196-your-essential-being/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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195 - Shortcuts in Achieving Goals

In our pursuit of goals, the question often arises: is it acceptable to use shortcuts? This topic is more nuanced than it appears, blending practical considerations with ethical ones. Let's explore the implications of using shortcuts to achieve goals and how they impact our learning, integrity, and success.

Shortcuts are often perceived negatively, equated with cheating or avoiding hard work. However, not all shortcuts are created equal. Tools like AI, productivity apps, and medical interventions can provide a leg up without compromising our values. For instance, scheduling software helps organize tasks and bills, improving efficiency without undermining our skills. This raises an essential question: when do shortcuts hinder personal growth, and when do they facilitate it?

Consider health and weight loss. Tools like Ozempic or gastric bypass surgery offer quick results but can bypass the critical learning process associated with lifestyle changes. This perspective is echoed by many who argue that reliance on such tools may lead to regaining weight once the shortcut is removed. The key issue here is whether these shortcuts help achieve long-term, sustainable health improvements or merely provide a temporary fix.

Similarly, in education and work, tools like AI can aid learning and productivity. For example, using Grammarly to improve writing can be educational, offering insights into common mistakes. However, outsourcing tasks like writing a book or completing assignments can lead to dependency and a lack of skill development. Using apps like Merlin to learn bird calls can be instrumental in finding and learning more about birds. People who already know the birds can scorn the app, but instead, they should look at it as an educational tool if people use it correctly.

For instance, I experience with weight loss—both through structured programs and gradual, self-directed efforts—demonstrates the importance of balancing immediate results with long-term habits. The same principle applies to financial management, where learning through experience often proves more valuable than quick fixes like debt bailouts.

Yet, shortcuts are not inherently negative. They can be beneficial when they provide necessary support without completely replacing personal effort. AI tools for content creation, for instance, can enhance productivity while still requiring user input and creativity. Similarly, health apps and wearable technology can promote fitness by offering motivation and tracking progress.

Ultimately, the decision to use shortcuts should be guided by their impact on learning and personal development. If a shortcut merely offers a temporary solution without fostering growth or understanding, it may be counterproductive. However, if it serves as a stepping stone towards greater efficiency and knowledge, it can be a valuable tool.

In conclusion, shortcuts can be both beneficial and detrimental, depending on their application and the individual’s approach. Balancing the use of shortcuts with a commitment to personal growth and ethical considerations ensures that they serve as aids rather than crutches in achieving our goals.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/195-shortcuts-in-achieving-goals/

Jill’s Links

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194 - Overcoming Tedious Tasks

In today’s episode, we explore how to tackle the boring, tedious tasks that often derail our productivity. Drawing insights from Peter Hollens’ book, Self-Disciplined: for Tedious, Boring, and Difficult Things, we discuss practical strategies to make these tasks more manageable.

52/17 Technique: Work for 52 minutes, then take a 17-minute break. This method, based on the Pomodoro Technique, helps maintain focus and reduces mental fatigue.
Parking Downhill: Start with simple tasks to build momentum. Ease into your workday with activities that require less cognitive effort, like checking emails.
Four Quarters Method: Divide your day into four segments—early morning, late morning, afternoon, and evening. This makes your day feel less daunting and allows you to align tasks with your energy levels.
12-Week Plan: Focus on short-term, 12-week goals instead of annual resolutions. This creates a sense of urgency and allows for frequent reassessments and adjustments.
Pickle Jar Theory: Prioritize by starting with the most critical tasks (big rocks) and filling in with smaller tasks (pebbles and sand). This ensures your most important tasks get done first.
Daily Themes: Assign specific days to particular types of tasks. Consistency builds rhythm and reduces decision fatigue.
Energy Patterns: Schedule demanding tasks during your peak energy times. Understand whether you’re a morning or evening person and plan accordingly.
Automation and Templates: Automate repetitive tasks and use templates to streamline workflows, reducing mental load and freeing up time for more critical activities.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/194-overcoming-tedious-tasks/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/schmern

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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193 - Formulas for Life

In this episode, we delve into Patrick King's book, Social Equation, which offers practical formulas to enhance social interactions. Discover how to build trust, improve workplace harmony, and foster romantic relationships through King's insightful equations.

Building trust is fundamental to any strong relationship, and Patrick King offers a straightforward formula to achieve this: Trustworthiness = Consistency x Reliability / Number of Betrayals. This emphasizes the importance of being consistent and reliable while minimizing betrayals to maintain and build trust.

In the workplace, harmony is crucial for productivity and job satisfaction. King’s formula for workplace harmony is Respect x Cooperation / Conflicts + Ego. By fostering respect and cooperation and reducing conflicts and ego clashes, a more harmonious and productive work environment can be created.

For romantic relationships, King provides a more nuanced formula: Common Interest x Physical Attraction x Emotional Connection to the Power of Adaptability. This formula highlights the need for shared interests, physical and emotional attraction, and the ability to adapt to changing circumstances to maintain a strong romantic bond.

When it comes to effective learning, King suggests that it can be quantified as Curiosity x Engagement / Number of Distractions. Staying curious and engaged while minimizing distractions can significantly enhance learning efficiency.

Friendships are built on four key components: proximity, frequency, duration, and intensity. King’s formula for friendship development is Proximity + Frequency + Duration + Intensity. Maintaining frequent and meaningful interactions is essential for deepening friendships.

Mastering small talk can be daunting, but King provides a simple strategy: answer the question asked, provide two additional lines of detail, and then pass the conversation back. This approach helps keep conversations engaging and dynamic, turning small talk into deeper, more meaningful exchanges.

Introducing people to each other can be a powerful networking tool. King’s formula for perfect introductions is Past + Future. Start by mentioning the present role of the person, then share something from their past that establishes credibility, and finally, suggest a future connection between the individuals.

Takeaway Challenge:
Create three personal formulas to tackle current problems. For example, a weight loss formula could be Burning Calories x Activity / Eating Calories + Sedentary Time.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/193-formulas-for-life/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

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192 - The Enduring Wisdom of George Washington’s Rules

In today’s episode, we delve into George Washington’s “110 Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior,” a set of guidelines that the first U.S. President copied from a French etiquette manual during his youth. These rules, which shaped his conduct and helped forge his character, offer timeless wisdom on politeness and decorum that is surprisingly relevant in our modern society.

The Foundation of Civility: We start by exploring the significance of these rules in Washington’s life and how they influenced his reputation as a leader. These principles were not just about manners but about forging a character equipped for leadership and respectful interactions.

A.J. Jacobs’ Experiment: We discuss how contemporary writer A.J. Jacobs adopted Washington’s rules in his life for a month, as detailed in his book “My Life as an Experiment.” Jacobs’ experiences reveal the practicality of these rules in modern settings, emphasizing concise communication (Rule 34) and showing respect in every interaction (Rule 1).

Applying Old Wisdom to New World Challenges: We talk about how these historical guidelines can be applied to today’s digital communication challenges, encouraging more thoughtful and respectful engagements in both personal and professional contexts.

Favorite Rules and Anecdotes: Our host shares their favorite civility rules and some humorous yet insightful anecdotes about trying to live by these guidelines in everyday life, including the complexities and unexpected outcomes of such an experiment.

Call to Action: We invite listeners to reflect on how incorporating elements of Washington’s civility into daily interactions could improve their communication and relationships. We also encourage audience participation by asking listeners to submit their own modern-day rules of civility.
Conclusion: Wrapping up, we consider the enduring impact of these rules on modern etiquette and the potential for rediscovering civility in our fast-paced, often impersonal world. Tune in to gain insights into how historical lessons can foster a more respectful and thoughtful society today.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/192-the-enduring-wisdom-of-george-washingtons-rules/

https://bpb-us-e1.wpmucdn.com/sites.usc.edu/dist/a/836/files/2015/05/George-Washingtons-Rules.pdf

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

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Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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191 - Don't Join the Cynicism

In this episode, we look into the pervasive issue of cynicism in our modern society, exploring its causes and impactful strategies to foster a more positive outlook. Drawing inspiration from the wise words of George Carlin, we discuss how disillusionment leads to cynicism and how we can transform this mindset to improve our overall quality of life.

Understanding Cynicism: We start by defining cynicism and its roots in disappointment, highlighting the fine line between healthy skepticism and harmful cynicism.

Developing Discernment: Learn about the importance of discernment in combating cynicism, enabling us to remain critical yet open-hearted and trusting.

Reframing Perspectives: We discuss shifting from a passive to an active stance, focusing on problem-solving rather than problem-dwelling.

Limiting Negativity: Tips on reducing exposure to negative triggers, such as distressing news and toxic social media.

Cultivating Gratitude: Emphasizing the power of gratitude to shift focus from what's missing to what's present.

Community Engagement: The benefits of engaging in positive social activities and volunteer work to combat feelings of isolation and negativity.

Personal Accountability: A challenge to listeners to identify personal sources of cynicism and actively seek to change their perspectives.

Join us as we journey away from cynicism, taking deliberate steps toward a more optimistic and fulfilling life.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/191-dont-join-the-cynicism/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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190 - Hit the Point and Sell it

Welcome to today's episode where we dive into the art of brevity in communication, inspired by the book "Smart Brevity: The Power of Saying More with Less." Today, we'll explore why brevity is essential and how to achieve it effectively.

Importance of Order: Start communications with the most crucial information. This ensures that even if the audience loses interest later, they've already received the key message.

Bullet Points vs. Paragraphs: Learn why bullet points can be more effective than long text blocks for keeping your reader or listener engaged.

Editing for Impact: We discuss strategies for eliminating unnecessary words and focusing on content that adds real value to the conversation.

Powerful Language: The use of strong verbs and nouns can make your communication more impactful and easier to remember.

Efficiency in Meetings: Tips on how to conduct shorter, more focused meetings that respect everyone's time and contribute to more productive team interactions.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/190-hit-the-point-and-sell-it/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

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189 - Be Brief To Get Readers

In our fast-paced digital age, where every second counts, mastering the art of brevity has become crucial for effective communication. The concept, brilliantly explored in the book "Smart Brevity: The Power of Saying More with Less" by Jim VandeHei, Mike Allen, and Roy Schwartz, reveals how concise communication can significantly improve how we connect with others.

The essence of brevity lies in the ability to be succinct without sacrificing the depth of the message. This is not about reducing the length of communication for the sake of it, but about enhancing clarity and engagement. The book teaches readers to cut through the noise of excessive information and focus on what truly matters. This is particularly valuable in a world where individuals average just 26 seconds on a piece of content.

"Smart Brevity" advocates for a structured approach to concise communication. It starts with crafting a "muscular tease" — a compelling headline that grabs attention. The lede follows, a potent sentence encapsulating the core message. Providing context is next, explaining why the message is relevant. Lastly, if the reader's interest is piqued, additional details are offered succinctly.

Adopting these strategies can transform mundane emails into impactful messages, long-winded articles into engaging reads, and tedious meetings into sessions of productive exchange. It encourages communicators to respect their audience's time by offering information that is not just easy to consume but also valuable.

Implementing brevity in our daily communications doesn't mean oversimplifying complex ideas. Instead, it's about being thoughtful with our word choice, ensuring every word serves a purpose. By practicing the principles of "Smart Brevity," we not only make our communication more effective but also more likely to be read, understood, and appreciated in a world overloaded with words.

https://www.axioshq.com/smart-brevity

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/189-be-brief-and-get-read/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

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Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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188 - Sharing Creativity with Others

Welcome back to our exploration of creativity, where today we dive deep into the heart of innovation with Austin Kleon's influential work, "Steal Like an Artist." This episode unravels the fabric of creativity, guiding us through the art of borrowing ideas to forge our unique path. Join us as we dissect key insights and share personal anecdotes inspired by Kleon's philosophy.

Unveiling Creativity: We kick off the episode by challenging the myth of originality. Discover how embracing influences and integrating diverse ideas can become the bedrock of creativity, offering a fresh perspective on Kleon's call to action: "Steal two or more ideas and start juxtaposing them."

The Creator's Signature: Delve into the significance of personal voice. Learn why your experiences and interpretations are the threads that bind your creative works together, providing unity amidst diversity.

Hobbies as Creative Catalysts: Hear about the liberating power of hobbies. We share stories on how engaging in activities just for the joy of it—be it watercolors or bird watching—can replenish our creative wells and inspire breakthroughs.

Sharing is Caring: Reflecting on Kleon's advice to share generously, we discuss the transformative experience of making our work public. Whether it's hitting the publish button on a podcast or sharing a sketch online, we explore how feedback and community engagement fuel our creative journey.

Conclusion: In closing, we emphasize the overarching theme of "Steal Like an Artist": Creativity is a communal table, and we're all invited to dine. It's about borrowing, reinventing, and contributing to the ongoing conversation of creation. Let's take small steps towards unveiling our creative selves, inspired by the wisdom of Austin Kleon.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/__creativity

https://austinkleon.com/

https://austinkleon.com/steal/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

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Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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187 - The Art of Creative Borrowing Inspiration

Welcome to today’s episode, where we dive deep into Austin Kleon’s book, “Steal Like an Artist.” This book has resonated with creators worldwide, urging us to rethink our approach to creativity and inspiration. Kleon delivers a powerful message: innovation doesn’t spring from a vacuum but from the rich tapestry of existing work.
Key takeaways from today’s discussion:

-Creativity is a communal activity. By acknowledging our influences, we engage in a dialogue with the past, enriching our work.

-The distinction between good and bad theft: Kleon outlines that creative borrowing involves transformation, not imitation. We should aim to absorb and reinterpret, not just replicate.

-Building a personal “swipe file” of inspirations and influences can be a wellspring for future projects. This collection is a testament to our eclectic tastes and a toolbox for creativity.

-The concept of the creative family tree: Identifying our influences helps us understand our place in the creative ecosystem, offering both inspiration and direction.

Kleon’s insights are not just philosophical musings but practical strategies for everyday creativity. Whether you’re a writer, artist, or entrepreneur, “Steal Like an Artist” offers invaluable lessons on making the most of the world’s cultural offerings to enrich your own creations.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/187-the-art-of-creative-borrowing-inspiration/

https://austinkleon.com/

https://austinkleon.com/steal/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

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Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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186 - Embrace Adventure And Live Fully

In this episode, we dive into the profound lessons from Bear Grylls’ “How to Be a Scout,” exploring how the principles of wilderness survival apply to our daily lives. Grylls introduces the STOP acronym—Stop, Take a moment, Observe, Plan—as a method to tackle life’s challenges head-on without succumbing to panic.
We discuss how the priorities of Protection, Rescue, Water, and Food (P-R-W-L) in survival situations can be metaphorically applied to any crisis, emphasizing the importance of assessing and addressing our fundamental needs. Grylls’ advice on dreaming big, starting small, and the crucial ‘shakeout run’ before major endeavors resonates across various aspects of life, highlighting the value of preparation and learning from minor setbacks.
Stepping out of the comfort zone into the fear zone is a pivotal theme, encouraging listeners to embrace challenges as opportunities for growth. Grylls champions the use of positive language and being true to oneself, emphasizing the impact of positivity on personal development and the importance of a growth mindset.
Join us as we unpack these life lessons, drawing inspiration from Grylls’ adventures to navigate our journeys with courage, resourcefulness, and a spirit of adventure.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/186-embrace-adventure-and-live-fully/

https://www.beargrylls.com/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

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Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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185 - Unveiling Life's Blueprint Through Scouting

In the tapestry of life, few threads are woven as intricately and with as much care as the lessons learned through scouting. It's an odyssey that transcends the mere act of tying knots or pitching tents under the starlit sky. Instead, it lays down a blueprint for building character, fostering resilience, and nurturing a profound connection with the natural world. Bear Grylls, a name synonymous with adventure and survival, attributes his scouting experiences as foundational to his journey. This article explores the essence of scouting and how it shapes individuals into exemplary human beings, drawing insights from Grylls' narrative and personal anecdotes from those touched by this timeless institution.

Scouting, at its core, is about preparation. "Be prepared," the scout motto, is more than a catchphrase; it's a philosophy that equips individuals with the skills to face life's unpredictabilities with confidence and grace. Grylls' adventures, both on and off the screen, echo this principle. From navigating treacherous landscapes to surviving extreme conditions, the ethos of scouting sunshine - or the ability to find light in the darkest of times - has been his guiding star.

But scouting's curriculum extends beyond survival. It's a holistic education in leadership, teamwork, and problem-solving. Scouts are taught to lead by example, to set clear objectives, and to work collaboratively towards common goals. These lessons in leadership and teamwork are invaluable, translating seamlessly into personal and professional spheres. Grylls himself is a testament to this, seamlessly stepping into roles that demand these very skills, whether it's leading expeditions or guiding celebrities through wild terrains on his shows.

Perhaps the most profound lesson scouting imparts is the cultivation of values. Kindness, bravery, gratitude, determination - these are not just words to a scout; they are virtues to live by. Grylls emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself and extending a hand of friendship and support to those around us. This ethos fosters a community of individuals who are not only prepared for life's adventures but are also compassionate and empathetic, making the world a better place, one act of kindness at a time.

Moreover, scouting instills a deep respect for nature. The principle of leaving no trace teaches scouts to tread lightly on the earth, preserving its beauty for generations to come. This environmental stewardship, coupled with a hands-on education about the flora, fauna, and celestial bodies, nurtures a lifelong bond with the natural world. Grylls' respect and understanding of nature's laws are reflective of these early lessons, guiding his survival strategies and environmental advocacy.

In conclusion, scouting is more than an extracurricular activity; it's a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Bear Grylls' narrative is a vivid illustration of how scouting's lessons in preparation, leadership, values, and environmental consciousness can sculpt individuals into well-rounded, resilient, and compassionate beings. It's a call to action for all of us to embrace these principles, to be prepared not just for the wilderness but for the unpredictable journey of life itself. Whether it's facing challenges with optimism, leading with kindness, or safeguarding our planet, the blueprint for a fulfilling life can often be found in the simple yet profound lessons of scouting.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/185-unveiling-lifes-blueprint-through-scouting/

https://www.beargrylls.com/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

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https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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184 - The Power of Curiosity and Connection

In this episode, I share with you my thoughts on Brene Brown’s book “Braving the Wilderness”. I was particularly struck by the concept of ‘true belonging’, which Brown explores in her book. She argues that true belonging comes from standing in one’s truth, even when it’s uncomfortable or different from those around us.

Brown also talks about ‘braving’ as an acronym, with each letter representing a different aspect of the process of learning to stand in one’s truth. I found it really helpful to break it down like that: setting boundaries, being reliable, holding myself accountable, not sharing information that isn’t mine to share (the ‘vault’), having integrity, being nonjudgmental, and being generous in my interpretations of others.

But it’s not just about standing in our truth - it’s also about reaching out to others, even those we might not understand or agree with. I think it’s so important to ask questions, be curious, and truly listen to understand others, rather than simply picking a side in a conflict. It’s a crucial aspect of braving the wilderness and being able to stand in our truth.

Of course, braving the wilderness isn’t always easy or comfortable. But I believe that kindness is key in all interactions. Despite the difficulties, it’s important to always bring kindness to our interactions with others. If you think of someone with whom you’re having difficulty understanding, ask them, “Tell me more.” Let’s bridge gaps and build connections!

https://brenebrown.com/book/braving-the-wilderness/

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/184-the-power-of-curiosity-and-connection/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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183 - The Power of Your Authentic Self

I talk about the book from Brené Brown called Braving the Wilderness about the importance of being brave and bringing everyone in, even those we disagree with. She explained that true belonging is about standing in our own opinion, presenting our authentic selves to the world, and having the courage to stand alone when necessary. She also mentioned that belonging is an innate human desire to be part of something larger than ourselves, which often leads us to try to acquire it by seeking approval and fitting in. However, true belonging can only happen when we have self-acceptance and present our authentic selves to the world.

She said that true belonging is not something we can gain or someone can give us. It's something we carry in our hearts. Once we believe thoroughly in ourselves, true belonging becomes ours. She challenged us to think about a situation where we feel ourselves trying to gain admiration, appreciation, or a sense of belonging from someone else. She suggested that we can start small and show ourselves that we can stand as our true selves and be okay with it, without looking towards others for validation.

In conclusion, Brene was inspiring by telling us to connect with others and to be kind. It reminded me of the importance of being authentic and standing in our own opinion, even if it means standing alone. Only when we have self-acceptance and believe in ourselves can we experience true belonging. I hope you take the challenge and think about a situation where you can be authentic and stand alone.

https://brenebrown.com/book/braving-the-wilderness/

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/183-the-power-of-your-authentic-self/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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182 - Turn Your Ship Around

In this podcast episode, we're delving into the world of leadership, through the experience of a commanding officer plays in shaping the culture and morale of their ship. We will review the book It's Your Ship, Management Techniques from the Best Damn Ship in the Navy by Captain D. Michael Abrashoff. We're exploring how the principle of "ownership" can transform a low-morale ship into a thriving, successful vessel. Captain Abershoff allows his crew to take ownership of their areas of responsibility, allowing them to make decisions and solve problems independently unless it would cause significant monetary loss or harm to the ship or crew. This way, the crew members feel more involved and responsible, which increases their overall morale and productivity.

We're discussing how he fostered a sense of community and camaraderie among the crew is vital in improving their morale and productivity. He enabled small gestures, like improving the quality of food or organizing beach barbecues, to make a significant difference in boosting the crew members' spirits. The commanding officer also encourages personal growth among his crew by helping them improve in their areas of interest and promoting them based on their performance.

But leadership also means knowing what your company, country, ship, its mission and your boss needs for you to do. You should be aware of their goals in order for the ship to fulfill those goals and to create trust between you and the leadership. Once you have built that trust, you will have more ability to make changes for your team.

We're examining some of the challenges and potential pitfalls of this leadership style. While it successfully turned the ship around, it created some animosity among other ship commanders who felt threatened or uncomfortable with the unconventional approach. The commanding officer reflects that he could have been more diplomatic in dealing with his counterparts and built bridges instead of alienating them.

In conclusion, a commanding officer, family leader or any leader can significantly influence their team's morale and productivity. Fostering a sense of ownership, community, personal growth, and fun can profoundly impact the team's performance.

https://www.mikeabrashoff.com/

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/182-turn-your-ship-around/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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181 - Get out of the Rut of Overthinking

In this episode, we explore the topic of overthinking and how it can negatively impact us. We discuss the book 'Overthinking' by Daniel Michaels, where the author suggests that overthinking is a safety mechanism that helps us make decisions. However, it can often lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety.

Overthinking can have both mental and physical effects. It can cause us to perceive patterns that do not exist, leading to insomnia and undue stress. This can escalate to the point where we jump to conclusions that may not be true, such as thinking that people dislike us or are against us.

I share strategies to break out of this cycle of overthinking, such as identifying and aligning with our values, journaling to get ideas out of our heads, and taking action. Finding hobbies or activities is important to help shift our focus away from stress. We also highlight some cognitive distortions associated with overthinking. Lastly, we emphasize that gratitude can help combat overthinking by fostering a positive outlook.

https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/51098481

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/181-get-out-of-the-rut-of-overthinking/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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180 - Great Opportunity in the Cave of Fear

We wrap up our conversation on Joe Polish's book “What’s in It for Them? Nine Networking Principles to Get What You Want by Helping Others Get What They Want.” and highlight the fact that many jobs, especially in retail, require such an ability. Even if your current job isn't your dream job, getting it right is necessary for growth and finding your ideal role. I stress the importance of bravery in dealing with difficult people and situations.

Joseph Campbell talked about our fortune being inside 'the cave of fear,’ a metaphor for challenging situations or difficult people. It is easy to work with nice individuals, but when you can resolve an issue for someone who is challenging, it makes you stand out. I also emphasize the significance of understanding people's preferences, likes, and dislikes. Treating others as they would like to be treated can build stronger, more effective relationships.

Be memorable in a positive way. Being memorable doesn't necessarily mean being flashy or showy; it could be about your unique experiences, skills, or problem-solving ability. Meet in person wherever possible and treat every conversation as important.

https://geniusnetwork.com

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/180-great-opportunity-in-the-cave-of-fear/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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179 - Be Creative to Make A Connection

In this podcast episode, we discuss how to improve the lives of others by exploring Joe Polish's book, "What's in it for them? Nine networking principles to get what you want by helping others get what they want." I highlight the importance of investing time, attention, money, effort, and energy to foster connections and relationships. It's crucial to adapt our approach to each individual, understanding their unique contexts and needs. Additionally, I emphasize the value of creativity in building relationships and share personal anecdotes to illustrate how "thinking outside the box" can help establish a connection.

He stresses the significance of being reliable, the person others can rely on, metaphorically speaking. This means being available and responsive, whether it's dealing with support tickets, emails, or direct conversations. We need to be patient, even with those we don't necessarily like or relate to, and work towards understanding their needs. He also cautions against getting lost in other people's problems, overcommitting, or becoming susceptible to energy vampires. It's vital to maintain balance and protect oneself while being helpful and supportive.

I explore the importance of being practical in problem-solving. It's not enough to listen and empathize; we must offer solutions that meet the actual needs of the people we're dealing with. This requires understanding their problems, asking the right questions, and genuinely listening to their responses. Offering solutions should go beyond the standard "guidebook" responses and involve genuinely thoughtful, personalized, and feasible solutions.

Find someone they're somewhat distant with and attempt to bridge that gap. By understanding what makes that person tick, they can start to appreciate them more and figure out how to be of genuine help. Take small steps towards making people feel appreciated, even those who might seem a bit unlovable.

https://geniusnetwork.com

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/179-be-creative-to-make-a-connection/

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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178 - Feel Their Pain And Connect

In this podcast episode, I talk about the book What's in It for Them?: 9 Genius Networking Principles to Get What You Want by Helping Others Get What They Want By Joe Polish. We explore the importance of understanding people's unique circumstances, which the author calls "atmospheric conditions." As a "pain detective", he says we have to investigate what's genuinely causing people to suffer in their job or daily life. This helps provide better support and build stronger connections with them. By reducing their suffering, we can make their lives better and form collaborative relationships.
Authenticity is key in all our interactions. People can detect inauthenticity quickly. That's why we should always strive to be genuinely interested in solving people's problems. It's not about using skills to gain something in return. It's about building trust, rapport, and comfort with others.
Atmospheric conditions refer to understanding the conditions of someone's life to understand better why they behave the way they do. If someone's going through a tough time at home, it will affect their performance at work. Understanding this can help someone react more appropriately and empathetically towards them, providing better support.
In all our relationships, communication is key. We can choose to communicate and resolve issues, connect and form a bond, or avoid the situation altogether. That's why it's crucial to notice if people are leaning in or pulling back, connecting or disconnecting. Ultimately, understanding people better can help us build stronger, more authentic connections.

https://geniusnetwork.com

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3854

Jill’s Links

https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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177 - Making Weight Loss and Health Easier

In this episode, we’re going to explore the concept of weight loss as described in Driving. Rangan Chatterjee’s book, “Feel Great, Lose Weight.” Driving. Chatterjee’s book focuses on maintaining a healthier lifestyle by improving our habits and emotional responses and by choosing quality food options. One important aspect we discussed is the need to shift away from processed foods and towards single-ingredient options. And let’s not forget the importance of home cooking!
We also talked about the significance of fiber in our diet and how it helps us feel full, reducing overeating. Mindful eating was another key concept we discussed, and I suggested drinking a glass of water before meals to help us feel fuller and reduce our portions.
He talks about time-restricted eating. It means limiting the hours during which we eat. This is a response to the modern availability of food at all hours, which is not how our bodies historically functioned. Sleep is also a crucial factor in maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and we discussed how it affects our eating habits and the role of caffeine in disturbing our sleep patterns.
When it comes to exercise, He suggests seeing it as a way to feel more alive and energized rather than just a way to burn calories. We talked about how moderate exercise, like weightlifting, can help build muscle, which in turn burns more calories. And let’s not forget about fun and non-strenuous forms of exercise, like dancing, playing with pets, or simply being more active in daily life.
Finally, we talked about the importance of having a positive self-image and a healthy relationship with food. We shouldn’t use food to solve emotional problems or as a comfort mechanism. Instead, we should find other ways to deal with stress and emotions, such as connecting with people, joining clubs, or doing volunteer work. He concluded with a suggestion to eat until we are 80% full, as our bodies often register fullness only after we have overeaten.

https://drchatterjee.com/feel-great-lose-weight/

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/177-making-weight-loss-and-health-easier/

Jill’s Links

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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176 - Simplify Against the Blissy FoodIn this episode, we will explore the weight loss concept, as described in Dr. Rangan Chatterjee's book, "Feel Great, Lose Weight." According to Dr. Chatterjee, losing weight can be challenging not because of personal fault, but due to our environment. Our world is filled with calorie-rich foods and sedentary work, making battling societal norms and pressures tough.

Dr. Chatterjee further emphasizes that everyone is unique, which makes the weight loss process even more complicated. What works for one person may not work for another due to differences in body types, lifestyles, and metabolisms. Hence, finding a weight loss routine that suits our needs and circumstances is crucial.

He suggests that the goal should not be about conforming to societal standards of beauty, but rather feeling the best we can for ourselves. The book explores the idea of a ‘weight point,' which suggests that our brains have a set point for our body weight. This means that our bodies maintain this set point, no matter how much we diet or exercise. Understanding and adjusting this weight point could be the key to sustainable weight loss.

He talks about food that hits our dopamine system which makes it hard to ignore even if we are full. The body, out of ancient systems, craves for us to eat certain things. If we fight against that urge and return our food to one simple food, our dopamine will reset back to normal, and we will lose some of the urge to overeat. We will hear our hunger/full signals again.

https://drchatterjee.com/feel-great-lose-weight/

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3845

Jill’s Links

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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175 - Igniting Change in Your Life

I delve into the concept of achieving our goals and creating our best life, drawing inspiration from the book "A Whole New You, Six Steps to Ignite Change for Your Best Life" by Bret Blumenthal. I discuss the importance of creating a mission statement, to guide our life's goals. These mission statements can be about work, health, or other aspects of life and should reflect the qualities and characteristics we want to live by and the legacy we want to leave in the world. I then discuss the concept of a vision statement, a visual representation of our goals, like a vision board.

The next step in the process is to identify what we want to achieve and map the gap between where we are and where we want to be. This involves assessing our emotional and physical state and imagining what our ideal self would look like and feel like and how it would impact those around us and our activities. Having a flexible mindset during this stage is essential, as it allows us to adapt and find ways to make our goals happen. We should focus on our strengths and accomplishments and bury our past failures, only taking away the lessons we learned from them.

Throughout this process, it's important to visualize our goals and recognize that we are the ones in control of our lives. We should create a vision statement or vision board representing our end goal, which could be something as simple as a collage of pictures from the internet. Sharing our goals with others can also be beneficial as they can provide support and encouragement. It's also crucial to break down our goals into small, achievable tasks and to set specific start dates for each task. This way, we can keep track of our progress and stay accountable.

Finally, it's crucial to acknowledge and reward ourselves when we progress towards our goals and to hold ourselves accountable. Accountability can be built through various means, such as having a workout partner, hiring a life coach, or even using a habit tracker like Streaks. Understanding how accountability works best for us can greatly increase our chances of achieving our goals. The challenge for you, the listener, is to come up with one small goal, write out a mission statement for it, and create a vision board or vision statement.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3839

https://www.brettblumenthalstudio.com/brett-blumenthal-books-and-publications

Jill’s Links

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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174 - Small Steps to Big Changes

I’m diving deep into the topic of personal transformation with Brett Blumenthal’s book, A Whole New You: Six Steps to Ignite Change for Your Best Life. We’ll be discussing how incremental changes can lead to significant reinvention and how to recognize when change is needed, whether due to dissatisfaction or a natural transition in life.

One of the key takeaways from Blumenthal’s book is the importance of understanding what motivates us. By drilling down with the questions we can uncover the root issue that needs addressing. It’s also essential to distinguish between physical and emotional signs of needed change and to determine whether these issues are situational or ongoing.

I find Blumenthal’s emphasis on data to identify change patterns is particularly helpful. By tracking our progress, we can see how far we’ve come and what areas we still need to work on.
In the process of self-discovery, it’s crucial to recognize our strengths, weaknesses, and passions. Identifying what we love to do can drive positive change, while understanding our failures can help us learn and grow. Blumenthal emphasizes the importance of forgiveness and letting go of past failures, a point that deeply resonates with all of us. She also advises examining past experiences, like family dynamics or traumatic events, which might contribute to current struggles.

Remember, the journey to a brand new you begin with small steps and small changes. So, let’s take those steps together and see where they lead us.

https://www.brettblumenthalstudio.com/brett-blumenthal-books-and-publications

Jill’s Links

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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173 - Night of the Comet Reflections

Today, I'll discuss the 80s apocalypse movie "Night of the Comet." In this movie, we follow two sisters, Regina and Samantha, who survive an event that turns most of the population into zombie-like creatures. We'll explore the important apocalypse themes that this movie raises, such as trust, the importance of loved ones, and the need to establish a plan for rebuilding society.

I'll be highlighting several lessons that we can learn from it. Firstly, it emphasizes the importance of questioning information and not blindly trusting what others say even when they promise the North Pole (Christmas movie?). People in the movie were misled about the safety of the comet, leading to disastrous consequences. Secondly, the bond between the two sisters emphasizes the importance of finding and supporting loved ones during challenging times through sarcasm and shopping. Thirdly, the movie encourages the search for other survivors, as it brings together individuals who can provide support and companionship, mainly if they are cute boys. We'll also discuss the need for defenses and strategies to protect oneself in a post-apocalyptic world, as seen in the 80s.

"Night of the Comet" is a cult classic combining horror, comedy, and 80s nostalgia. I invite you to ponder what rules and principles you would establish if you were to rebuild society after an apocalypse. Even at the end of the world, girls just want to have fuuuuun.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087799/

Jill’s Links

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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172 - Beyond What You Can Prove on 34th Street

In this episode of our podcast, I talk about a movie that always reminds me of the magic of Christmas - "Miracle on 34th Street." The movie tells the story of Macy's store hiring a new Santa Claus, who is a kind and genuine person resembling Santa. As we follow the plot, we see how belief, mistrust, and the power of helping others during the Christmas season shape the story.

One of the central characters in the movie is Susan Walker, a young girl who initially doesn't believe in Santa Claus due to her practical-minded mother's influence. But as the movie progresses, Susan's faith in Santa Claus is restored as she witnesses acts of kindness and experiences the magic of Christmas.

As the story unfolds, we also see a subplot involving a lawyer, Mr. Galley, who defends Kris Kringle (Santa Claus) in court, risking his own reputation and job. The court case becomes a turning point in the movie, as the post office delivers numerous letters addressed to Santa Claus to the courthouse, validating Kris Kringle's existence. The judge dismissed the case, and Kris Kringle was set free.

The movie concludes with a heartwarming scene where Susan's wish for a house is fulfilled, symbolizing the power of belief and the magic of Christmas. Watching this movie always leaves me feeling inspired and hopeful, reminding me of the importance of kindness, compassion, and the power of believing in something greater than what meets the eye.

As we approach the holiday season, I encourage all of you to embrace the spirit of Christmas, show kindness to those around you, and have hope for a better tomorrow. Merry Christmas, everyone!

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3820

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miracle_on_34th_Street

Jill’s Links

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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171 - Overcoming Limiting Beliefs with Self-Therapy

Today, I talk to you about the book How to Be Your Own Therapist by Owen O’Kane and the importance of reprogramming our negative thoughts and challenging the rules we have set for ourselves. You and I are not victims of our thoughts and we have the power to break free from the negative narratives in our minds. By reprogramming ourselves and adopting new, more beneficial rules, we can overcome the limiting beliefs that hold us back.

Let’s prioritize our own well-being and engage with life authentically. Taking care of our physical and mental health, engaging in activities that bring us joy and calm, and surrounding ourselves with supportive people are essential for personal growth. I believe in being kind to ourselves and others, as well as prioritizing the needs of others without becoming people-pleasers.

Here are some practical strategies that can help us manage negative thoughts. I like to use grounding practices and tapping to distract my mind from negative spirals. By rewiring our reactions and focusing on an action plan, we can address triggers and create healthier habits. Reflecting on lessons learned and practicing gratitude can also contribute to our overall well-being.

Let’s take small steps towards self-improvement and be patient with ourselves throughout the process. Remember, setbacks and challenges are a normal part of life, but with perseverance and self-compassion, we can navigate through difficult times and find our way back to a positive path.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3805

https://www.owenokane.com/the-books/

Jill’s Links

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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170 - The Importance of Self-Therapy and Reflection

I discussed the importance of therapy and self-reflection in managing our emotions and improving our lives from the book How to Be Your Own Therapist by Owen O'Kane. Therapy and self-reflection can help us manage our emotions and improve our lives. When someone goes to therapy, they get to bounce ideas off of someone who is objective and can offer a different perspective. It's beneficial in navigating through difficult emotions and experiences.

It's particularly interesting how our childhood experiences impact our current emotions and beliefs. Our brains are wired to react quickly to protect us, but sometimes, this reactivity can be overdone, leading to negative emotions and thought patterns. By challenging automatic emotional responses and examining the core beliefs we have developed, we can work towards managing our perfectionism and cultivating kindness towards ourselves.

Understanding your core beliefs is key in helping to address and reshape them. Through self-therapy, you can better understand my past experiences and how they influence current thoughts and behaviors. By reflecting on your life story, acknowledging both positive and negative events, and sharing experiences with a supportive listener, you can reframe your perspectives and find hope for the future.

Ultimately, while self-therapy can be a valuable tool, you can learn that you are the solution to your problems. It requires a commitment to self-reflection, patience, and a willingness to challenge and change your patterns of thinking and reacting. By taking small steps towards self-understanding and embracing the self-therapy process, you can work towards leading a happier, more fulfilling life.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3808

https://www.owenokane.com/the-books/

Jill’s Links

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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169 - The Importance of Intentional Rest

I dive into the concept of rest and how it's often mistaken for laziness. With everything going on in the world right now, it's no wonder that o many of us are feeling exhausted and drained. But don't worry, we've got you covered! We'll be discussing all sorts of ways to find rest and recharge, so that you can tackle your day-to-day responsibilities with renewed energy and focus.

First off, let's talk about the most obvious form of rest: sleep! Whether it's taking a nap or hitting the hay early, getting some shut-eye is crucial for our overall well-being. But intentional rest can take on many forms, and what works for one person may not work for another. Different types of rest and how they can be beneficial for different people.

For example, have you ever tried guided imagery or meditation? It can be a great way to calm your mind and recharge your batteries. We'll be sharing some personal experiences with creating mental images of peaceful scenes, like walking on a beach or through a rainforest.

But rest isn't just about sitting still and doing nothing. Sometimes, it's about engaging in activities that bring us joy and fulfillment. We'll be talking about things like going for a walk in nature, listening to music, spending time with pets, or taking a hot bath – all great ways to relax and recharge. Finding time with friends at either random fun or scheduled events is a fun way to relax.

Of course, it's important to remember that rest should refocus and reenergize us, not demotivate us or cause procrastination. We'll be discussing how to find that balance, and encouraging listeners to be mindful of the difference between rest and laziness. Rest should have a purpose and help us tackle our goals with renewed inspiration and motivation.

So, if you're feeling burnt out and in need of some rest, tune in to today's episode. We'll be sharing all sorts of tips and tricks for finding rest that works for you. And remember, taking the time to recharge is crucial for your overall well-being and productivity.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3802

Jill’s Links

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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168 - Embracing the Power of Decision-Making

Today, talk about something crucial to achieving success in life: making decisions. Even deciding not to make a decision is still a decision, and it can lead to missed opportunities and a feeling of stagnation. That's why it's better to make wrong decisions and learn from them than remain indecisive and not move forward. Indecision can prevent personal growth, limit advancement, and hinder the pursuit of happiness.

I know that decision-making can be tough. It can be difficult to choose between options and fear making the wrong choice. But I've learned that taking action is the key to overcoming indecision. By setting goals, breaking them down into smaller steps, and seeking advice and research, we can make informed decisions that align with our aspirations. And it's important to be kind to ourselves throughout the process and manage stress and anxiety.

Making decisions not only shapes our lives but also influences how others perceive us. Being decisive portrays confidence, self-trust, and a sense of direction. And the best part? Decision-making is an ongoing journey. We may face setbacks and rejections, but it's crucial to remain committed to our goals and learn from our experiences. By taking action, we become more confident, productive, and capable of building fulfilling relationships. Remember, having a decision firmly in our grasp starts with taking small steps.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3780

Jill’s Links

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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167 - Taking the Extra Step for Excellence

I talk about the importance of going above and beyond personally and professionally. I share an idea from Napoleon Hill's book to highlight the benefits of going the extra mile and encourage listeners like you to make additional efforts and exceed expectations consistently.

In today's society, many individuals only do the bare minimum. However, I believe that additional efforts can positively impact one's reputation and opportunities for growth. By focusing on what a boss dislikes doing and taking on those tasks with excellence, you can become indispensable in the workplace.

Going the extra mile is not about working longer hours, but rather about adding an extra touch of quality and care to my work. Going the extra mile extends beyond professional settings and you can find ways to make a difference in your personal relationships by doing small acts of kindness and going above and beyond for others.

I believe that serving and helping others can bring positivity and fulfillment to our lives. Overall, we explore the philosophy of going above and beyond in various aspects of life. I hope to inspire you to become the kind of person who consistently exceeds expectations and brings value to others.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3775

Jill’s Links

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill

https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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166 - Turning Regrets into Opportunities

We explore the topic of regrets and how we can deal with them in a positive and constructive way. One of the key things we discuss is reframing regrets and finding silver linings. Even when things don't go as planned, there are often positive aspects to be acknowledged. The concept of "at least" moments can help us shift our perspective and focus on the good in a situation.

Another important strategy is self-compassion. It's so important that we treat ourselves with the same kindness we would offer a friend. The idea of self-distancing can help us analyze our regrets from a third-person perspective and gain better insights for the future.

So, how can we use our regrets as catalysts for personal growth and improvement? We discuss the value of failure resumes, which serve as inventories of lessons learned from past mistakes. The importance of matching regrets with resolutions and adopting a journey mindset, viewing life as an adventure with ups and downs.

This episode provides you with practical strategies and perspectives to help you navigate and overcome your regrets in a positive and constructive way. Remember, it's okay to make mistakes, and not everything will go perfectly. Let's make peace with our regrets and focus on maximizing our important decisions.

https://www.danpink.com/the-power-of-regret/

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3771

Jill’s Links

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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165 - How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward

In this episode, I delve into the topic of regrets and their impact on our lives. I talk about the book The Power of Regrets, How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, by Daniel H. Pink. He draws on insights from a researcher who conducted a World Regret Survey, which classified regrets into four types: foundation regrets, boldness regrets, moral regrets, and connection regrets. My own regrets and experiences helped shape who I am today. The importance of learning from regrets and using them as a catalyst for future growth.

I discuss three different approaches to dealing with feelings: expressing them openly, burying them, or using them for better thinking. I believe that the latter approach can help us make better decisions and understand ourselves better. Furthermore, regrets can add meaning to our lives, contrasting and enriching our experiences. Embrace their regrets as part of their personal stories and use them for growth.

There are different types of regrets that people commonly have, such as relationship regrets for women and career regrets for men. Also, there are distinguishing characteristics between regrets of inaction and regrets of action, noting that regrets of inaction tend to resonate more strongly with people as they age. Reflect on how you handle regrets and categorize your regrets to gain a better understanding of their impact.

https://www.danpink.com/the-power-of-regret/

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3766

Jill’s Links

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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164 - Using the Tools of the Creative

Today, we will explore the concept of creativity and how it applies to our everyday lives. I'll be sharing some insights from Adam Savage's book, "Every Tool is a Hammer", as well as my own experiences with podcasting and project management.

First up, let's talk about the power of deadlines. As creators, we all have unique ways of expressing ourselves, but sometimes we need a little push to make decisions and move forward. That's where deadlines come in - they can help us prioritize and fine-tune what's truly important in our projects. I'll be sharing some tips on how to set effective deadlines and how they've helped me improve my own work.

Next, we'll delve into the world of project management and diagramming. Even if you're not a natural artist, there are plenty of tools and apps available to help you create diagrams and visualize your work. I'll be sharing my own experience with using Visio to diagram a project plan at work, and how it helped us identify a crucial gap in our process.

Then, we'll explore the concept of learning by iterations. It's all about understanding that the first few attempts at something may not be perfect, but each attempt gets us closer to perfection. Embrace the journey of creativity, even when it doesn't go as planned. Sometimes, the most joy comes from the unexpected turns in our creative journey.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98S4m-uZe9Y

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3759

Jill’s Links

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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163 -Embracing the Maker Mindset and Unleashing Your Creativity

Today, we talk about the importance of embracing creativity and the mindset of being a maker. Anyone can be a creator, no matter what activity or project they choose. I'll be sharing some ideas from the book Every Tool's a Hammer. Life is What You Make It by Adam Savage and insights about the power of passion and obsession in driving creative pursuits. Additionally, I'll be highlighting the significance of creating detailed lists and organizing tasks to maintain focus and momentum.

Are you familiar with the concept of "knolling"? I'll be discussing it and the importance of setting up a workspace or environment that is conducive to creativity and productivity. Collaboration is key, and I'll be stressing the value of seeking help when needed rather than trying to tackle everything independently. I know that challenges may arise during the creative process, but I want to encourage you to persevere and complete projects with attention to detail.

In this episode, I want to remind you that everyone has the ability to be a maker in their own unique way. Whether it be through crafting physical objects or engaging in creative pursuits like public speaking or podcasting, there are endless possibilities. So, let's embrace our passions, follow our inspirations, and take small steps towards realizing our creative potential.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98S4m-uZe9Y

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/163-embracing-the-maker-mindset-and-unleashing-your-creativity/(opens in a new tab)

Jill’s Links

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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162 - Mastering Communication in a Distracted World

We'll dive into the topic of capturing and retaining attention in an increasingly distracted world. As a host, I know firsthand how challenging it can be to maintain focus in various situations. We will review some useful tips and strategies to help you improve your communication skills and hold your audience's attention.

One of the key things to keep in mind is that attention must be earned, not bought or stolen. That's why I highly recommend checking out "8 Seconds: Communication Secrets for a Distracted World" by Paul Hellman. This book is a fantastic resource for anyone looking to gain people's attention and make a lasting impact through communication.

One of my favorite techniques is using a clear structure in presentations that addresses the audience's questions: why they should listen, what the main topic is, and what action they should take after receiving the information. It's also important to use impactful words and avoid unnecessary details, as saying less can often lead to better understanding and retention of information.

By implementing the strategies we've discussed today, you can make a big difference in how you capture and hold your audience's attention. So, take these tips and put them into practice in your own communication sessions.

https://expresspotential.com/youve-got-8-seconds/

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3749

Jill’s Links

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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161 - Improve Problem-Solving Ideas

We will discuss how to improve our problem-solving skills by generating more ideas. As we all know, a library is a great place to find inspiration and endless resources to help us generate ideas. From books to the internet, we can find a wealth of information to aid in our problem-solving endeavors.

In this mini-series on problem-solving, we are focusing on how to come up with new and innovative ideas to solve problems. The key is to generate a variety of ideas, which increases the likelihood of finding effective solutions. If you're struggling to come up with ideas, try doing something outside of your comfort zone, like traveling, to expose yourself to new perspectives and spark inspiration.

Jack Foster, the author of "How to Get Ideas," emphasizes the value of generating as many ideas as possible and not dismissing any of them as bad. By being known as someone who generates many ideas, you become a valuable resource for others. To be a successful problem solver, it's important to think outside of the box and be the go-to person for innovative solutions. Foster also stresses the importance of collaboration in the problem-solving process.

By working with others, you can generate even more ideas and find solutions that are more effective. In summary, generating a large number of ideas and not dismissing any of them as bad is key to finding effective solutions to problems. Being known as someone who generates many ideas makes you a valuable resource, and collaboration is key in generating more ideas and finding more effective solutions

https://www.goodreads.com/ms/book/show/534758.How_to_Get_Ideas

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3746(opens in a new tab)

Jill’s Links

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https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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160 - Generating Fresh Ideas

I talk about generating new and fresh ideas! This skill has the power to change the world and solve problems effectively, and I'm excited to share some insights and techniques that have helped me and can help you too.

Let's start by acknowledging that generating ideas can be tough. I've struggled with it in the past, but I've also learned that it's a skill that can be mastered with preparation and practice. One book that I recommend is "How to Get Ideas" by Jack Foster, which provides great techniques for overcoming creative blocks and finding innovative solutions.

So, how exactly do you generate ideas? Well, it all starts with preparation and gathering information. But it's also important to give ideas time to develop subconsciously. This is where incubation comes in – taking breaks from actively thinking about a problem and allowing the mind to make connections subconsciously.

There are various approaches and techniques that can be used for generating ideas. One is questioning assumptions, another is combining old elements in new ways, and yet another is seeking inspiration. And let's not forget about the role of self-image and mindset in generating ideas. It's important to believe in your ability to come up with creative solutions.

Visualization is another important aspect of generating ideas. Imagining the successful outcome of an idea can help bring it to life. And sometimes, breaking free from routine and seeking new experiences can also stimulate creativity. It's crucial to take action on those ideas and make them a reality. But it's also important to be realistic and avoid falling into the trap of utopian thinking. But by nurturing creativity and taking small steps, you can unlock your potential to generate innovative ideas and make a positive impact in your life and the world.

https://www.goodreads.com/ms/book/show/534758.How_to_Get_Ideas

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3741

Jill’s Links

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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159 - Essential Framing for Effective Problem-Solving

I share with you some essential strategies to approach problem-solving effectively. It's all about shifting your perspective and embracing a curious mindset. By asking questions and challenging assumptions, you can cultivate curiosity and generate alternative solutions. Putting a question mark behind every statement can do wonders!

Another essential skill is tolerating ambiguity, which enables you to think outside the box and consider various perspectives. By taking a broader view and exploring different ways to solve a problem, you can come up with more innovative solutions.

You need to embrace failures and take small, agile steps toward problem-solving. It's not just about motivation; it's about having grit and perseverance to overcome challenges. By adjusting your thoughts and considering various scenarios, you can gain new insights and find better solutions. Seeking input from others and tapping into collective intelligence can provide fresh perspectives and ideas.

Sharing your progress with others can drive action and gather support. It's essential to showcase your progress to keep yourself motivated and inspire others. So, don't hesitate to share your journey!

Reframing problems involves developing a curious mindset, tolerating ambiguity, taking small steps, adjusting your thoughts, seeking input from others, and sharing your progress.

https://www.mckinsey.com/capabilities/strategy-and-corporate-finance/our-insights/six-problem-solving-mindsets-for-very-uncertain-times#

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3738

Jill’s Links

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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158 - Finding Your Path Amidst Conflicting Advice

I'm exploring the tricky topic of navigating contradictions in the world of self-help. We've all received conflicting advice from different self-help sources and it can be challenging to figure out what works best for us. But fear not, I'm here to offer some insight and guidance.

First off, contradictory advice is often found in self-help resources. There are opposing viewpoints on topics such as positive thinking versus negative thinking, trying many things versus ruthless elimination, and time tracking versus flexibility. But here's the thing, there's no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to personal growth and improvement. We need to find what works best for ourselves and that takes some experimentation.

So, how do we navigate through the abundance of self-help advice? Personal development is not about completely changing ourselves but rather building on our strengths and addressing our weaknesses to make a positive impact on the world. We can find the right resources and create a smart plan for our personal development by using the right steps.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3735

Avery Article about Development Plans

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I take a look at the best advice of last year.

106 – The Culture of Fortitude and the Self https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3322

107 - The 1-Page Marketing Strategy https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3328

108 – Lose a job? Don’t Panic https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3334

110 - How Lawyers Think and Decide https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3350

111 - Use the BICAT System to Think Better https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3357

116- Follow Your True North https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3394

117 - You Don’t Know the Future You https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3398

118 - Act for The Next Week You https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3402

119 - It is a Wonderful Life https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3406

121 - Make Habits Easy with Challenges https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3409

122 - The One Word is the One Thing https://smallstepspod.com/122-the-one-word-is-the-one-thing/

124 - Become The Person Who Loses Weight https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3431

133 - Steps to Be Funny https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3478

136 - Open the Door to Possibilities https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3491

137 - What If We Can’t Get to Maybe https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3497

169 - True Romance Meets Your Needs https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3613

143 - Making Happy Memories https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3651

144 - Ask for It Already! https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3654

145 - Reset Your Life and Achieve Your Dreams https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3658

147 - The Art of Overcoming Procrastination startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3672

151 - Embracing a Little Discomfort Can Improve Your Health https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3687

155 - Pursue a More Purposeful Life https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3714

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3725

Jill’s Links

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156 - Finding Purpose Beyond the Material

The thought-provoking book "Things that Matter" by Joshua Becker. In it, the author challenges us to rethink our relationship with material possessions and work and to find purpose in our lives beyond just chasing individual success.

One of the author's key points is that owning less can actually lead to greater freedom and happiness. By focusing on owning the right things that serve a purpose in our lives, rather than just accumulating stuff, we can find more fulfillment and joy. It's all about asking ourselves if each item we own promotes a purpose, rather than simply asking if it sparks joy.

I explore the role of work in our lives. He argues that work should not be viewed as a necessary evil, but as a way to show love to others and contribute to society. By finding the intersection of our abilities, passions, and the needs of others, we can find true purpose in our work and make a positive impact on the world.

I can definitely relate to these ideas. I've personally experienced the benefits of decluttering and finding purpose in my work, and I believe that helping others and being kind is more important than achieving individual success. That's why I'm so passionate about encouraging listeners like you to take small steps toward finding your purpose and using your gifts to make a positive impact on the world.

So, what do you think? Do you agree with the author's ideas? Have you tried decluttering or finding purpose in your work? I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas, so feel free to share them with me through email or Twitter. Let's rebel against societal norms prioritizing selfishness and materialism and take control of our time to create a better world together!

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3721

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TgZbvLvTJI

Jill’s Links

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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155 - Pursue a More Purposeful Life

I dive into a topic that I believe is essential to living a fulfilling and purposeful life. We all have goals and dreams, but it's easy to get sidetracked by the distractions that surround us every day. I share some insights from the book "Things That Matter" by Charles Becker.

The book is all about finding what truly matters in life and how to avoid the things that hold us back. One of my favorite takeaways is the importance of committing to a daily mantra. It's a simple but powerful way to focus on what's important and stay motivated. Small steps will help us avoid distractions and get closer to our purpose.

But it's not just about focusing on ourselves. We also need to find our greater purpose and how we can serve others. That's where the concept of "Ikigai" comes in. By finding the intersection of our skills, passions, and the needs of others, we can make a positive impact and find true fulfillment.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3714

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TgZbvLvTJI

Jill’s Links

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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154 - Navigating Work in an AI World

I discuss the impact of robots and AI on jobs. While some jobs may become automated, human skills, such as relating to others and problem-solving, will always be needed. Robots and AI can do certain jobs that humans may not want to do, such as dangerous or manual labor.

The book Don't Worry About the Robots asks readers to embrace the changes brought about by automation and to focus on developing skills that will be in demand in the future, such as math, science, programming, and communication. It emphasizes the importance of adaptability, taking risks, and investing in oneself through education and personal development.

It acknowledges that the rise of automation may lead to changes in the job market, including the rise of the gig economy and the need for workers with emotional intelligence and creativity. However, I believe that these changes offer opportunities for people to find fulfilling work and make a positive impact in the world.

I encourage everyone to be proactive in navigating the changing job market and to view automation as a tool that can enhance human potential rather than a threat to jobs.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3710

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40671491-don-t-worry-about-the-robots

Jill’s Links

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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153 -Exploring Leadership Through Science Fiction

I dive into the world of leadership through the lens of science fiction. In this episode, we explore the epic television show Battlestar Galactica and its portrayal of leadership during a time of crisis. With four distinct leaders, each with their own approach to leadership, it’s a fascinating exploration of the tensions that arise as they work together to save humanity from the threat of the Cylons.

But that’s not all! We also discuss two other science fiction series, The Expanse, and Ender’s Game, and how they depict leadership in different contexts. The Expanse focuses on the political tensions between Earth, Mars, and the Belters, while Ender’s Game follows a young boy’s journey to become a leader during an intergalactic war.

Throughout this episode, we emphasize the importance of trust, communication, and adaptability in effective leadership. We want to encourage YOU to reflect on your own leadership styles and consider what you can learn from the diverse range of leaders portrayed in science fiction.

Whether you’re a seasoned CEO or just starting out in your leadership journey, this episode provides a unique perspective on leadership. It highlights the complex challenges that leaders face in times of crisis and the importance of staying true to your values while remaining adaptable to changing circumstances.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3699

Jill’s Links

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod

Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

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150 - The Power of Inconvenience

Today, we’re going to explore a fascinating idea - can inconvenience actually make our lives better? It might sound counterintuitive. We’re going to discuss how excellence often requires inconvenience, and why the opposite of inconvenience is innovation.

But here’s the thing - we all have different needs and preferences, and that’s okay. And that’s why we’re going to dive into the role of inconvenience in promoting growth and satisfaction. I mean, have you ever noticed how we tend to be at our best when we’re physically and mentally challenged? It might sound strange, but avoiding discomfort can actually make us weaker, sicker, and psychologically unwell.

So, let’s talk about how we can benefit from discomfort and the challenges it poses. Maybe it’s quitting drinking, losing weight, or taking a new job - whatever it is, we can find happiness and progression in discomfort. And avoiding challenges can make us weaker and less satisfied. It’s time to challenge ourselves, spend time outdoors, and engage with others to enrich our lives.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3684

https://eastermichael.com/book/

Jill’s Links

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149 - Breaking Out of Our Comfort Zones

We're going to shake things up a bit and explore the idea that inconvenience can actually be GOOD for us! That's right, you heard me correctly. We're going to dive into the ways in which our modern conveniences may actually be limiting our experiences and keeping us from connecting with others.

"The Comfort Crisis" by Michael Easter is about the ways in which we've become too reliant on convenience. I've had some experiences in my own life where inconvenience actually led to some unexpected moments of connection and reflection.

In this episode, we're going to talk about the dangers of becoming too comfortable and the Japanese approach to convenience as a design challenge. We'll also explore how losing the ability to adapt to changes or challenges can really hold us back in life.

We're going to break out of our comfort zones and embrace inconvenience in a meaningful way that will expand our experiences and connect us with others.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3681

Jill’s Links

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148 - Strategies for Taking Control of Procrastination

Today, we’re diving into the world of overcoming procrastination and how you can take control of your life. We’ll be drawing insights from the book “The Art of Procrastination” by John Perry, which provides practical solutions for beating this common hurdle.

I talk about strategies that can help you tackle procrastination head-on! One of the best ways to overcome procrastination is to set reminders, break down tasks into smaller, more manageable goals, and collaborate with others. These methods can help you stay on track and motivated to take action.

In addition, it’s important to find a system that works for you. Whether it’s using a planner, a project management tool, or a productivity app, finding a system that suits your needs can help you stay focused and on task.

But, it’s not just about work. Taking moments to enjoy life and finding ways to use technology to your advantage can also help you overcome procrastination. By understanding the underlying causes of procrastination, like perfectionism, disorganization, and depression, you can begin to address these issues and improve your overall well-being.

Take that first step towards overcoming procrastination by thinking of one thing you can do to avoid a problem that would cause you to procrastinate. Remember, every small step counts and incremental improvements can lead to big changes in your life.

startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3678

getting-around-to-writing-art-of-procrastination

change-your-life-procrastination-burkeman

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147 - The Art of Overcoming Procrastination

Today, I will talk about something that affects all of us at some point in our lives: procrastination. We all know the feeling of putting things off until the last minute, but what if I told you there’s a way to tackle this once and for all?

First off, I want to recommend a book that has completely changed my perspective on the topic. It’s called “The Art of Procrastination” by John Perry, and it’s a game-changer. Perry identifies himself as a “structured procrastinator,” and his insights into the root causes of procrastination are spot-on.

One of the biggest culprits behind procrastination is perfectionism. We all strive for perfection, but it’s an unattainable goal that only holds us back from accomplishing our tasks. Instead, we should focus on taking small steps and completing simple tasks. Perry recommends task triage and creating a “don’t list” to avoid distractions and keep us on track.

Another obstacle to productivity is depression, which can make even the simplest tasks seem insurmountable. But fear not! Perry has a solution for that too. He suggests creating playlists of upbeat music to lift our mood and energize us, and organizing our tasks in a way that provides a sense of accomplishment.

So, what’s the key to overcoming procrastination? Self-awareness and self-discipline. By identifying the root causes of our procrastination and taking small steps toward completing tasks, we can break the cycle and achieve our goals.

Remember: don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today!

startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3672

getting-around-to-writing-art-of-procrastination

change-your-life-procrastination-burkeman

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146 - Exploring Alternative Time Tracking

Are you tired of the same old methods of time tracking and task management? In this episode, we dive into some creative ways to take control of your time and accomplish your goals. I share their personal experience with time blocking, a technique that involves scheduling larger blocks of time for specific tasks and activities. Not only does this method increase focus and productivity, but it allows for prioritization and goal setting.

Whether you're a creative worker or have a more rigid schedule, time blocking can be a game changer. I explain the different terms associated with this technique, such as time boxing and task batching. Plus, I offer some great app recommendations to make the process even easier.

I stress the importance of reviewing and tracking your time to ensure you're effectively managing your schedule and making progress toward your goals. Give time blocking a try and find the method of time management that works best for you!

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3664

https://todoist.com/productivity-methods/time-blocking

https://www.youtube.com/@aliabdaal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlGKOMCz5hw

https://www.usemotion.com/blog/time-blocking

https://blog.rescuetime.com/time-blocking-101/

https://www.wondermind.com/article/time-blindness

Jill’s Links

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Today, we're diving into "The Great Money Reset" by Jill Schlesinger. This book is perfect for anyone who wants to make their dreams a reality while still being financially responsible. Jill has a fantastic podcast where she gives financial advice and helps people plan for their retirement, and she brings that same expertise to this book.

In "The Great Money Reset," Jill encourages us to dream big and then figure out how to make those dreams a reality without sacrificing our financial stability. She recommends taking a hard look at our finances and creating a detailed budget to see where we can cut costs. Jill also suggests thinking outside the box when it comes to negotiating with our employers or family members to get what we want.

What I love about this book is that it comes with a 10-rule plan to help us figure out what we want and how to plan for it. Jill reminds us to be realistic and avoid disappointment by setting achievable goals. She also encourages us to take advantage of the tax system and make smart moves to stay in control of our emotions.

Overall, "The Great Money Reset" is a must-read for anyone who wants to achieve their dreams without sacrificing their financial well-being. Pair it with "Ask for It" to create a knockout punch that will help you get everything you want in life. So go ahead, dream big, and let both Jills help you make it a reality!

https://www.jillonmoney.com

the-great-money-reset

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9iUeK7VKBE

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144 - Ask For It Already!

I’ll discuss the book Ask for It by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever, which could change how you approach negotiations personally and professionally. “Ask For It” is a must-read for anyone who wants to improve their negotiation skills and learn how to get what they want.

The author provides practical tips on preparing for negotiations, such as knowing your worth and having a clear idea of what you want. She also suggests practicing negotiation skills on small things, which can help build confidence and prepare you for more significant negotiations.

One of the book’s most interesting aspects is its focus on maintaining likability during negotiations. This is particularly important for women, who are often penalized for being too aggressive or assertive. The author encourages readers to be persistent and confident in asking for what they need while being likable.

Whether you’re negotiating a job offer, a promotion, or workplace conditions, “Ask For It” has something to offer. So, if you want to learn to negotiate like a pro and get what you deserve, check out this insightful book.

https://www.saralaschever.com/books

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XKGUXvB08U

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3654

https://www.podfeet.com/blog/2023/05/jill-ai-for-writing/

Jill’s Links

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143 - Making Happy Memories

I discuss the book The Art of Making Memories by Miek Wiking and share some of his insights with you. Firstly, it’s all about paying attention to your surroundings and using your senses. By doing so, you’ll be able to create more vivid and joyful memories that will stay with you for years to come.

But it’s not just about you - connecting with others is equally important when making memories. That’s why it’s crucial to remember positive details and align your sense of self with others’ perceptions. By doing this, you’ll be able to create shared experiences that you can cherish together.

And, of course, photos are an excellent way to help bring back memories. By curating them and reflecting on them regularly, you can keep those happy moments alive in your mind. These tips can help improve your memory and make your life happier.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3651

https://www.meikwiking.com/books

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGQmdoK_ZfY

Jill’s Links

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142 - Making Happy Memories

In this episode, I explore the fascinating relationship between memory and happiness. I look at the book by Miek Wiking. The Art of Making Memories and share insights from a book on the topic and studies conducted by the Happiness Research Institute. We learn about the power of curating happy memories and how it can improve our mood and overall well-being. I also provide practical tips on creating and remembering happy memories, such as engaging all our senses and experiencing new things. I also discuss the importance of episodic memories and the potential for false memories. This episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in the science of happiness and the role of memory in our lives.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3648

https://www.meikwiking.com/books

Jill’s Links

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141 - Identifying Root Problems in Life

I delve into the crucial topic of identifying root causes when dealing with problems in our lives. I use relatable examples like weight loss and dating to highlight how we often treat symptoms instead of getting to the issue's core. I recommend handy tools like the fishbone diagram and the "five whys" to dig deep and uncover the real culprits behind our problems. So why waste time on quick fixes when tackling root causes can pave the way for real progress in our lives?

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/141-identifying-root-problems-in-life

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140 - Bring the Real You on Dates

I talk about the book called The Selfish Romantic. It debunks the common myths around dating and relationships that we all fall for. Instead, the book emphasizes the importance of being true to yourself and communicating your needs in a relationship.

One of the most interesting ideas is about treating dating as an experiment. How exciting is that? You get to be curious about the other person while setting boundaries and keeping yourself physically safe. The author encourages readers to relax and not put too much pressure on themselves while still enjoying the process.

So, if you want to improve your dating life and find a partner that truly fits you, The Selfish Romantic is worth checking out!

https://www.michelleelman.com/books/

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3619

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169 - True Romance Meets Your Needs

Are you tired of the same old dating advice that doesn't work? The Selfish Romantic debunks common myths about dating and relationships and encourages readers to be true to themselves, communicate honestly, and treat dating as an experiment. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to find "the one" - instead, actively participate in your love life and approach dating with curiosity and an open mind.

The author emphasizes the importance of honesty and authenticity while dating, reminding readers to be themselves and learn more about their potential partners. Whether you're getting back into the dating world or just looking to improve your experiences, The Selfish Romantic offers practical tips and advice to help you find love on your terms.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3613

https://www.michelleelman.com/books/

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138 - Bickering Leaders of Star Wars

I talk about other leaders in Star Wars, both good and bad, and challenge you to think of a character who represents the kind of leader they would like to be. Bickering isn’t good; it challenges ideas, and good ideas win. Princess Leia was caring, kind, smart, wise, and able to see things in people but what about the other leaders?

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/?p=3502

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137 - What If We Can't Get to Maybe

I discuss The Gift of Maybe by Allison Carmen and what we should do if we can’t get ourselves to Maybe. Is there still hope in the possibilities?

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3497

https://www.allisoncarmen.com

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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136 - Open the Door to Possibilities

I discuss The Gift of Maybe by Allison Carmen and how we can open the door to what is possible.

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3491

https://www.allisoncarmen.com

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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135 - Why is Certainty So Comfy?

I discuss The Gift of Maybe by Allison Carmen and why certainty is so comfortable.

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3488

https://www.allisoncarmen.com

https://www.iheart.com/podcast/105-before-breakfast-30642889/episode/would-you-say-yes-now-112363590

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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134 - Addicted to Certainty

How is certainty comforting, but can it be so comfortable we never move forward?

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3484

https://open.spotify.com/episode/513Qm8Kyzfq4fSg0IYGfoj

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/your-brain-work/200910/hunger-certainty

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-certainty-bias/

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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133 - Steps to Be Funny

I continue the book Homor, Seriously, which helps us be funnier. Learn tips, tricks, and how to develop materials.

https://www.humorseriously.com

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJKDipbCzdc&t=7s

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3478

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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132 - Funny in the Workplace Advice

Advice on why you should use humor at work and its advantages. I review the book Humor, Seriously.

https://www.humorseriously.com

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJKDipbCzdc&t=7s

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3471

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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131 - Bumpersticker Advice

I discuss good and bad advice on bumper stickers. Could good advice be found in weird places? Absolutely!

https://smallstepspod.com/131-bumpersticker-advice/

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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130 - Lazy Geniuses are Nice to Themselves

I talk about the book The Lazy Genius Way and learn how to be nice to yourself and get more done with more balance and celebration.

https://www.thelazygeniuscollective.com

https://www.youtube.com/@KendraTheLazyGenius

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3464

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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129 - Be Lazy with the Right Rules

I talk about the Lazy Genius and how to set the right rules and routines to be happier and get more done.

https://www.thelazygeniuscollective.com

https://www.youtube.com/@KendraTheLazyGenius

https://smallstepspod.com/129-be-lazy-with-the-right-rules/

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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128 - Be Lazy with Limited Goals and Small Steps

I talk about the book The Lazy Genius Way. Having limited goals and taking small steps, we can get the important things done and take it easy on ourselves.

https://www.thelazygeniuscollective.com

https://www.youtube.com/@KendraTheLazyGenius

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3453

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

View Details

127 - Star Trek Leaders in Tough Times

I discuss Star Trek characters who are great leaders in tough times.

https://smallstepspod.com/127-star-trek-leaders-in-tough-times/

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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126 - To Boldly Go with Leadership

Learn how Star Trek can teach us about leadership.

https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/57414333

https://smallstepspod.com/126-to-boldly-go-with-leadership/

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

View Details

125 - Escape Activities that Prevent Weight Loss

I discuss the book Mini Habits for Weight Loss by Stephen C Guise and how we can avoid the habits outside our new healthy lifestyle and other methods to keep our habits going.

https://minihabits.com/mini-habits-for-weight-loss/

https://www.udemy.com/course/weight-loss-mini-habits/

https://twitter.com/StephenCGuise

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3435

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

View Details

124 - Become The Person Who Loses Weight

I discuss the book Mini Habits for Weight Loss by Stephen C Guise and how we can identify as the kind of people who lose weight and let that help us develop weight loss systems.

https://minihabits.com/mini-habits-for-weight-loss/

https://www.udemy.com/course/weight-loss-mini-habits/

https://twitter.com/StephenCGuise

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3431

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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123 - You Can't Fail With Mini Habits

The book Mini Habits for Weight Loss can help you set the right focus to lose weight and live a better life. Find out how it helps.

https://smallstepspod.com/123-you-cant-fail-with-mini-habits/

https://minihabits.com/mini-habits-for-weight-loss/

https://www.udemy.com/course/weight-loss-mini-habits/

https://twitter.com/StephenCGuise

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

View Details

122 - The One Word is the One Thing

I review the book One Word That Will Change Your Life to see if that focus can shape our entire year.

https://jongordon.com/books/one-word/

https://onewordchallenge.com

https://jongordon.com/books/one-word/

https://gretchenrubin.com/articles/one-word-theme-ideas-for-new-year/

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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121 - Make Habits Easy With ChallengesMake habits easy by creating a 30-day challenge and using the habit loop.

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3409

https://hackerella.com

https://twitter.com/hackerellablog

https://jamesclear.com/three-steps-habit-change

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

View Details

120 - Have a Truly Happy New Year’s Eve

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3409

If you want happiness, love, or reconciliation, take steps to make your hopes come true. We talk about the Movie New Year’s Eve and the simple lessons found there.

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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George Baily has his lifelong dreams of travel but finds out that community, integrity, and compassion are the most important.

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3406

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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Do things that will benefit the future you most and make you happy. Learn how to see short-term goals to make that work for your future self.

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3402

indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/short-term-goal-setting(opens in a new tab)

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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117 - You Don't Know Future You - You don't know who you will become because you can't see the future and the small steps you will take to get there. Change is logical looking back in time makes sense. Set the stage to influence your future self.

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3398

https://www.ted.com/talks/shankar_vedantam_you_don_t_actually_know_what_your_future_self_wants

bbc.com/worklife/article/20220201-how-thinking-about-future-you-can-build-a-happier-life(opens in a new tab)

https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_the_psychology_of_your_future_self

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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Follow Your True North

Find out why it is essential to have a true north. Learn what aspects of life make up your truth north.

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3394
https://discoveryourtruenorth.org
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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115 - Be Productive with Morning Showers

Start your day right with a shower and a routine. Use an affirmation and some deep breathing to set your day right.

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3388

https://stephanieewingauthor.com/

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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114 - Fight Back Against Bad Thoughts https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3380 - 114 - Fight Back Against Bad Thoughts - Fight Back Against Bad Thoughts - Fight thoughts that cause anxiety and depression by challenging beliefs with reason and truth.

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3375 - 113 - Get in the Right Gear - We talk about the steps to get in the right gear. 5th gear is in the flow of focus mode. 4th gear is being in task mode! 3rd gear is about being social. 2nd gear is having deep relationships. 1st gear is about that pure rest mode. Find out how to identify the modes and get them in the right spots.

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

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112 - Awkward Awesomeness

Learn why being awkward has special powers and tips on getting better at difficult things.

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3371

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

https://tytashiro.com/awkwardaweasome/
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/04/awkwardness-why/524385/
https://www.ted.com/talks/ty_tashiro_why_we_re_socially_awkward_and_why_that_s_awesome

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111 - Use the BICAT System to Think Better

Learn how to think better using Kim Wehle's method to think like a lawyer.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/54109216-how-to-think-like-a-lawyer
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod
https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3357

Challenge

Pick one thing, go through this bike hat method, and try to break it down into small steps. First, try to make sure you research and find your values. Then create the checklist so that you know where everything ranks. Next, argue the other side or all the sides. Choose something easy that you can see if this system makes you happier.

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110 - How Lawyers Think and Decide

Find out how we make decisions and why lawyers are good at them.

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3350

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod.com"

Lawyers can make significant decisions because they are trained to dissect complex situations into small bits and analyze them. They are trained to see both sides, which helps them. They are great at breaking down complex ideas into ways people can understand them. They are taught to be analytical and that there are areas of grey that can be used to make decisions. They are great at looking at details and finding nuance and contradictions

Heuristics allow us to make quick decisions based on available knowledge. We can also apply some rules to this knowledge, like thinking the most expensive option would be the better-quality item.

Bias is when we have shortcuts in decision-making, like thinking the newer item is better, which might be true but inhibiting a good decision.

Risk Management might be one way they decide on a topic based on what is the least risky path and what the likelihoods and outcomes of the decision are.

Threat Decisions are made by the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, which makes the fight or flight decisions. The choice must be made quickly, and cortisol floods the system with adrenaline. This will help with fighting or running and healing.

Value Decisions are based on our morals and values and need further clarification to ensure we act correctly.

Habit Decisions are made in basal ganglia and have no value or threat. They are quick decisions based on basic information.

Challenge

Think about how you make decisions. Do you make decisions based on your noodle selections differently than how you decide whether to buy a house or a car? Or when you're making decisions about something moral, that is a more significant issue, what do you take into consideration? What processes do you go into when making decisions based on various complexities?

Links

https://www.npr.org/2022/03/08/1085099905/law-professor-kim-wehles-latest-book-is-how-to-think-like-a-lawyer-and-why

View Details

110 - How Lawyers Think and Decide

Find out how we make decisions and why lawyers are good at them.

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3350

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod.com

Heuristics allow us to make quick decisions based on available knowledge. We can also apply some rules to this knowledge, like thinking the most expensive option would be the better-quality item.

Bias is when we have shortcuts in decision-making, like thinking the newer item is better, which might be true but inhibiting a good decision.

Risk Management might be one way they decide on a topic based on what is the least risky path and what the likelihoods and outcomes of the decision are.

Value Decisions are based on our morals and values and need further clarification to ensure we act correctly.

Habit Decisions are made in basal ganglia and have no value or threat. They are quick decisions based on basic information.

Challenge

Links

https://www.npr.org/2022/03/08/1085099905/law-professor-kim-wehles-latest-book-is-how-to-think-like-a-lawyer-and-why

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109 - Serotonin, Cortisol, and Dopamine

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3339
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

Dopamine Disorders – The wrong levels of Dopamine can cause lethargy or addictions. Drug addiction can also work against the dopamine system, making them even more addictive.

Serotonin – Serotonin has to do with well-being, gastric systems, and the production of Melatonin.

Melatonin – Melatonin releases when your body starts to prepare for sleep and is responsible for the sleep clock and schedule.

Cortisol – Cortisol pumps out during the morning to wake you up and when danger is around. It produces energy via sugar release to allow you to wake up or run away from danger. I can improve the immune system because, in the past, the threat was also dangerous to our physical health. Keep stress in control to keep this hormone at the proper levels.

Challenge

Consider how some of these hormones may affect your daily life, for example, if you're having trouble sleeping, have high stress levels, or are just fatigued all the time. Think about those hormones and decide if it's time that you talk to your doctor about them because there are treatments for low levels or high levels of all these hormones.

View Details

109 - Serotonin, Cortisol, and Dopamine

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3339
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

Dopamine Disorders – The wrong levels of Dopamine can cause lethargy or addictions. Drug addiction can also work against the dopamine system, making them even more addictive.

Serotonin – Serotonin has to do with well-being, gastric systems, and the production of Melatonin.

Melatonin – Melatonin releases when your body starts to prepare for sleep and is responsible for the sleep clock and schedule.

Challenge

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108 – Lose a job? Don’t Panic!

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3334

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

Find out what to do if you have a sudden loss of a job.

Don’t get down or depressed; look at this as a new adventure and do everything to keep yourself from being bitter or angry.
Think about everything you learned and gained skills since you last looked for a job. It is about looking at critical areas you are interested in and your priorities and guiding principles. Think about your budget and how much money you need to live or would like to make.
Think about this as a chance to do something you like better, make more money, or change your work area. This time might be scary, but it doesn’t have to be awful.
Don’t burn any bridges with your last job or other people. Relationships and networking are the keys to your future employment and work. Not only is it essential for you to keep your old relationships going, but now is a time to make new relationships. Think about who can help you find another job. Bring in your team.
Figure out what matters to you in a job and what you would have changed because now is your opportunity
Decide if now is the time to get training or go to school. It is good to learn other new things unrelated to your job. Learning about new items will give you confidence and something interesting to discuss during your new job interviews.
Spend some time visiting family and taking time to do things you can’t do while you have a job.
Write your resume and get an elevator speech so you can talk to others about your future work plans. We covered elevator speeches in episode 19.
Check out job sites and other places to look for jobs to see what is out there.
You might consider counseling or career specialists to help you find a job. Your job is finding a job and being kind to yourself. You are now working for yourself to find your new future.

Challenge

Try to imagine if you are going to get another job. Maybe you're not looking right now. Perhaps you're not in danger of losing your job. But pretend for a moment that you will look for a new job. What are those career anchors that are going to make you fulfilled? What are you looking for in a new job? Would it be another schedule? Would it be another pay increase? Would it be another industry? And maybe even jot down some of these things that if you were going to get another job, what would you be looking for? Perhaps this is your chance, then to just casually look in the ads on the websites in the different places to see if any of those jobs meet your needs. But again, if you get but, doing a little dreaming will help you know what's next.

View Details

108 – Lose a job? Don’t Panic!

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3334

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

Find out what to do if you have a sudden loss of a job.

Don’t get down or depressed; look at this as a new adventure and do everything to keep yourself from being bitter or angry.
Think about everything you learned and gained skills since you last looked for a job. It is about looking at critical areas you are interested in and your priorities and guiding principles. Think about your budget and how much money you need to live or would like to make.
Think about this as a chance to do something you like better, make more money, or change your work area. This time might be scary, but it doesn’t have to be awful.
Don’t burn any bridges with your last job or other people. Relationships and networking are the keys to your future employment and work. Not only is it essential for you to keep your old relationships going, but now is a time to make new relationships. Think about who can help you find another job. Bring in your team.
Figure out what matters to you in a job and what you would have changed because now is your opportunity
Decide if now is the time to get training or go to school. It is good to learn other new things unrelated to your job. Learning about new items will give you confidence and something interesting to discuss during your new job interviews.
Spend some time visiting family and taking time to do things you can’t do while you have a job.
Write your resume and get an elevator speech so you can talk to others about your future work plans. We covered elevator speeches in episode 19.
Check out job sites and other places to look for jobs to see what is out there.
You might consider counseling or career specialists to help you find a job. Your job is finding a job and being kind to yourself. You are now working for yourself to find your new future.

Challenge

View Details

107 - The 1-Page Marketing Strategy

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3328

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

Learn how to create a simple marketing plan to promote your work.

Why market? It is to make more money in our endeavors. More money means we have more resources to make our business survive and use our money to help others.
Everyone has a professional plan. Having a marketing plan will help you be most effective.
A tiny minority of marketing efforts is influential; you must be selective when you don’t have the time or money to do it all.
That is where the 1-page marketing plan is perfect for a simple, easy-to-follow program.
Advertising is making a poster
Promotion is dressing up like a dinosaur and gaining attention
The press talking about it is publicity
And people laughing about it at the water cooler is public relations
Strategy is your plan for marketing, and a tactic is acting items in the strategy,
Can you learn some things about marketing in your area by looking at the competitors around you?
When you come up with a marketing strategy, you want to measure the costs and effectiveness.
It should be compelling to the target. It should offer the target audience something and have a request for them to act. For example, is it to listen to a podcast or buy a product?
You have some small steps to follow up with your customers and track their activity. Did the plan work?
Then after people follow the ask, you should maintain that relationship.
He then talks about his plan. You can find more information here https://blog.12min.com/the-1-page-marketing-plan-pdf-summary/
Before marketing work, you want to figure out who your marketing plan is for. People probably don’t even know who you are. They should learn who you are and what you do.
While you try to get your prospects to buy, they should learn to like what you do.
After the phase, follow up and get your customers to trust your work and buy again or tell a friend. That is the best marketing when you have word of mouth.
You want to target your marketing to a segment of people who might be your customers. You can’t be everything to everything. It makes you not unique. No one will think you are special enough to buy from your competitors. So your plans should have a very narrow focus.
Mass marketing is expensive. You want to be a big fish in a small pond.
To find your audience, you want to score how personally fulfilling this customer is to you. Then you want to achieve the potential for income and how important your product will be to the customer. Finally, when you have found that sweet spot of a group of people you want to work for, and that group can provide you the income, you know you have found your target.
Once you find this target audience, you must learn everything about them with their dreams, wishes, hopes, and fears. What do they buy and read, and what problems are they trying to solve? Then develop a fake person or character who can represent them. What does your buyer look like, then? Then, when you make plans, you can think about them.
With how crowded markets are, you must stand out. You must be unique in a way that makes you stand apart from others so they buy from you.
Get an elevator speech about your business and products so you can say it right off your head if someone asks you. In episode 19, we talked about how to get an elevator speech. Write with compelling words and emotional terms.
Be clear with your titles and not so creative that they don’t know what you are talking about.
In your follow-up, don’t spam them and make them sorry they signed up.
Never buy lists to text and email. They tend to be terrible quality lists and may be illegal and get you blacklisted.
Create you’re your content and be the voice of your customer. For example, have a blog or podcast to tell your customer's story. You want them to think about you and say to their friends too.
You aim to turn a prospect into a customer and advocate for your product.

Challenge

If you are thinking about doing any kind of marketing, whether you're trying to market a nonprofit organization that you're working for, whether you're trying to sell a book that you're writing or a podcast you have, consider creating this one-page plan that he has from this book, to try to find out.

https://blog.12min.com/the-1-page-marketing-plan-pdf-summary/

View Details

107 - The 1-Page Marketing Strategy

https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3328

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

Learn how to create a simple marketing plan to promote your work.

Why market? It is to make more money in our endeavors. More money means we have more resources to make our business survive and use our money to help others.
Everyone has a professional plan. Having a marketing plan will help you be most effective.
A tiny minority of marketing efforts is influential; you must be selective when you don’t have the time or money to do it all.
That is where the 1-page marketing plan is perfect for a simple, easy-to-follow program.
Advertising is making a poster
Promotion is dressing up like a dinosaur and gaining attention
The press talking about it is publicity
And people laughing about it at the water cooler is public relations
Strategy is your plan for marketing, and a tactic is acting items in the strategy,
Can you learn some things about marketing in your area by looking at the competitors around you?
When you come up with a marketing strategy, you want to measure the costs and effectiveness.
It should be compelling to the target. It should offer the target audience something and have a request for them to act. For example, is it to listen to a podcast or buy a product?
You have some small steps to follow up with your customers and track their activity. Did the plan work?
Then after people follow the ask, you should maintain that relationship.
He then talks about his plan. You can find more information here https://blog.12min.com/the-1-page-marketing-plan-pdf-summary/
Before marketing work, you want to figure out who your marketing plan is for. People probably don’t even know who you are. They should learn who you are and what you do.
While you try to get your prospects to buy, they should learn to like what you do.
After the phase, follow up and get your customers to trust your work and buy again or tell a friend. That is the best marketing when you have word of mouth.
You want to target your marketing to a segment of people who might be your customers. You can’t be everything to everything. It makes you not unique. No one will think you are special enough to buy from your competitors. So your plans should have a very narrow focus.
Mass marketing is expensive. You want to be a big fish in a small pond.
To find your audience, you want to score how personally fulfilling this customer is to you. Then you want to achieve the potential for income and how important your product will be to the customer. Finally, when you have found that sweet spot of a group of people you want to work for, and that group can provide you the income, you know you have found your target.
Once you find this target audience, you must learn everything about them with their dreams, wishes, hopes, and fears. What do they buy and read, and what problems are they trying to solve? Then develop a fake person or character who can represent them. What does your buyer look like, then? Then, when you make plans, you can think about them.
With how crowded markets are, you must stand out. You must be unique in a way that makes you stand apart from others so they buy from you.
Get an elevator speech about your business and products so you can say it right off your head if someone asks you. In episode 19, we talked about how to get an elevator speech. Write with compelling words and emotional terms.
Be clear with your titles and not so creative that they don’t know what you are talking about.
In your follow-up, don’t spam them and make them sorry they signed up.
Never buy lists to text and email. They tend to be terrible quality lists and may be illegal and get you blacklisted.
Create you’re your content and be the voice of your customer. For example, have a blog or podcast to tell your customer's story. You want them to think about you and say to their friends too.
You aim to turn a prospect into a customer and advocate for your product.

Challenge

https://blog.12min.com/the-1-page-marketing-plan-pdf-summary/

View Details

106 – The Culture of Fortitude and the Self - https://smallstepspod.com/?p=3322 - Have fortitude and self-assurance that your work and effort will make everything work out in the end.

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod

Sisu (Finnish) – It means to have grit or perseverance. If you are at the end of your rope, you still find it inside yourself to keep going. It isn’t even in this concept of big woes. It can be small things and short moments of grit. https://matadornetwork.com/read/finnish-concept-sisu/

Fiero (Italian) – Taking pride in your achievement by accomplishing a goal and not unwarranted vanity or ego.

Engelengeduld (Dutch) – tolerance, patience, and the ability to endure

Novaturient (English) – change your behavior or life by seeking the change and taking steps to get there.

Inuuqatigiittiarniq (Inuit) - Respect for other people and a commitment to harmony and peace.

Meraki (Greek) – loving your creations and efforts and what you do in life. It is a love of labor and creativity. . https://greekerthanthegreeks.com/2015/03/lost-in-translation-word-of-day-meraki.html

Tempest Fugit (Latin) Time flies and is going to run out. Therefore, we must look at it as a precious and fleeting commodity.

Þedda redast (Icelandic) – Technically, it means external relations, but everything will work out just fine. It is an optimistic way to look at life but also includes this stoic, calm view of things that happen in life. And if even it doesn't work out, it will in the end anyway. https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20180603-the-unexpected-philosophy-icelanders-live-by

Aftselakhis (Yiddish) – Wanting to do something after someone tells you that you shouldn’t.

Fernweh (German) - Having a longing or being homesick for a place you have never been.

Shouganai(Japanese) – Don’t worry or think about issues you can’t do anything about.

Mudita (Javanese) - Being happy or having joy for other people’s happiness.

Verschlimmbesserung (German) – Trying to make something better, but you made it worse instead.

Kummerspeck (German) - It is translated as “bacon-grief,” which means eating and gaining weight to get comfort or stress relief.

Kuidoare (Japanese) - When you eat yourself into going broke, which maybe is a word that goes with “bacon grief.”

Challenge

Think about which one of these personal attitudes stuck with you. Which one do you like the most? Is it sympathy for other people? Or is it this concept that everything will work out in the end? And I want you to think about how this philosophy helps you face challenging times when trying to do something better in your life.

Links

https://proofed.com/writing-tips/15-useful-foreign-words-that-dont-exist-in-english/

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/20-foreign-words