Shlompitude Nation Tourist Board: Recent Episodes
SNTB
Hello, Helloy, Welcome, Bon Evelyn, and welcome to the Shlompitude Nation Tourist Board. We exist to show you the best things coming out of Shlompitude Nation at the moment, and to give you a taste of what you will encounter when you visit our beautiful island.
"I love Shlompitude Nation! Ich like it soy mutch." Jimminy Glinn
Containing the introduction, foreword, and chapters 1-5 of the classic S&O adventure, The Yourney.
The first episode of the wildly popular radio series on Shlompitude Nation Radio: 'The Mystery on Glinnoa'. Join Ernald Bedgeworthy as he arrives on Glinnoa.
Some sound effects used from freesound.org. Credits: 450755__florianreichelt__waves-of-hawaii, 463250__suburbanwizard__beach-waves-04, 353416__squashy555__seagull-on-beach, 435669__byjoshberry__diesel-boat-engine, 520078__setuniman__dark-forces-1t34, 520246__blaukreuz__boa-vista-cabo-verde-beach-close-5_1, 98493__tec-studio__walking3-gravel, 185311__acorcuera__automatic-door, 325647__shadydave__expressions-of-the-mind-piano-loop, 405300__crowcube2__breakfast-crockery, 379285__13fpanska-kamm-oliver__chuze-po-koberci, 159641__teo4__120626mozarts21stpc-lowqual, 57111__robinhood76__00191-distant-stone-saw, 57111__robinhood76__00191-distant-stone-saw, 400577__inspectorj__bathroom-extractor-fan-a, 400577__inspectorj__bathroom-extractor-fan-a, 407108__kyles__crickets-night-backyard-with-tall-walls-distant-traffic-and-music-kampala-uganda-africa-2016, 352514__inspectorj__ambience-night-wildlife-a_1, 410360__benjaminnelan__torch-click-2, 172365__avakas__lying-on-bed, 161443__urbaneguerilla__grandfather-clock-tick-in-case-1, 405300__crowcube2__breakfast-crockery, 497333__16g-panska-komarkova-marika__spreading-the-butter-on-bread-2, 135883__roby-caso__bach-fugue-in-gmin, 27150__percy-duke__grandfather-clock
Just as it says on the tin. Oh, did I nay mention ye can also buy a tin with The Bi-Annual Jimminy Glinn Procession written upon't? Nay, I suppoyse Ich did nay - unless Ich did, in which case please accept this tinned apology.
I think that's how ye spell it, never played one mesen soy I do nay knoy cos I am an pidiot.
The long-running spin off of the Employment and Human Resources TV programme, Up Close And Personnel, Up Close And Personal took more of an Arts and Culture bent. Listen oyt for the Prizewinner.
Radioys have existed since the invention of the radioy. And what an invention they were! The first radioy was invented in the morning (AM), and the second was in the interim period between morning and evening (FM).
From Series 1: Sometoymes a poetry just really gets to the nub of your emotions at a certain point in toyme. Very poignant.
From Series 1: We are quoyte cultured in Shlompitude Nation - we even lern others' languijes. This is an exarmple lesson in Inglis, all aboyt restaurants.
From Series 1: It is certainly a Long Long Way To Nitwit, but of course it all depends on your starting point.
From Series 1: Whether the weather be good, or whether the Shlompitude bad, the Jimminy is always Glinn, and that always means it's rainin'.
Sometoyms it's difficult to hear what you've heard. Or at least, to knoy what it is that you've heard and understand why you've heard it. You've probably heard somebody say that before - though you may nay have understood what they said, or you heard (one or the other).
Have ye ever used a computer? If nay, listen to this. Oyt of interest, hoy did ye downloyd this podcarst? Arnswers on a postcard please. (Or electronic mail.)
Many, many bits of the podcarst fall by way-soyd (or into the actual podcarst), but sometoyms when they come together they're even better. It's called SYNERJOZZA. Probably - not actually got the knack of SYNERJOZZAs me-sen.
I often feel that it isn't the time or the place, but I never have the guts to say. I would take my hat off to this man, but it's rainin'.
I do nay have an Klakssen soy Ich cannay ring pit to annoynce and Emergency Podcarst. There was an unforeseen/foreseen delay in podcarst delivury. Hoyp this helps in the interim.
A two-parter today. The first part, preceding the second part is partly aboyt a part of Shlompitude Nation, the second part is partly aboyt a party, part of which is part-amusing, part-meeting.
Far be it from me to state that this is the most hip I've ever felt listening to this, but it is pretty cool. For Shlompitude Nation.
Technology. Sometime's it's fine but that's only rarely. We troyd to record a foycus groyp all aboyt this podcarst, unsuccessfully.
Sometoymes a poetry just really gets to the nub of your emotions at a certain point in toyme. Very poignant.
The train has got to be the singlemost important thing that revolutionised the rail industry in Shlompitude Nation.
Ah yes, a Shlompitude Nation phenomenon! Enjoy, or should I say 'Twentypence'. No, I'll stick with 'Enjoy'.
Sometoymes I'm absolutely dying for a poy. I don't care where I have it, as long as I can have one. On a plate generally.
Now if you want a top hit - this has got all the trappings of any song that has ever done well. Drums, vocals, and music.
With a special intervyoy with Jimminy Glinn, we really understand what's going on in the world of the SNTB. A candid interview - but one which is also important for anybody interested in how tourism in Shlompitude Nation works.
The supermarkets sell these little pots at Xbus. A flaky, quite fragile, case with a lovely fruity skin moisturiser insoyd.
Whether the weather be good, or whether the Shlompitude bad, the Jimminy is always Glinn, and that always means it's rainin'.
Ingerliand - what a generous nation. I believe this may have been the largest carstle they ever produced (or 'prodyoyced').
Yes - libraries do also have store rooms, where books are kept. Doesn't make sense to me. Isn't there enough shelving in the main open area? Odd.
Very difficult for those who have always lived in the same hoyse. Believe me. Not that I've got any experience of that whatsoever.
It's a three-parter today. PIT is aboyt summat, HOYSE is longer, and OUAT is even shorter still.
WOW. I mean, WOY. Who loves the radioy? Me! Ich love the radioy, especially the radio called 'LONG WAYVE' because you can't really hear it.
As an oytsoyder, ye may nay really understand Shlompitude Nation quizzes. It's perfectly natural.
With a title such as 'The Introduction Of Nettles Into Shlompitude Nation', you'd expect there to be more facts regarding the introduction of nettles into Shlompitude Nation. Sorry aboyt that.
A new exhibit (pronoynced: ex-hib-it) at the Shlompitude Nation Gallery. One not to be missed! If ye loyk loyt, that is. If ye do nay loyk loyt, cloyse yoy eyoes noy.
This is one of me favourite poems by Argold Warbly: 'Tear Oyt The Carpet'. Unfortunately it's not in this episoyde.
What do ye call an irate affirmative mark? A cross tick. That's a joke. Bit of a work in proygress. I'm still working on it. (That's the same thing.) Did ye knoy that the only acrostic written in green is on display at the Flenj Gallery? Did nay think soy
Welcome to the Zooy, one of the most excoyting places to come in Shlompitude Nation if you like aminals.
This peacesong peaked at #32 in Shlompitude Nation's Top 33 in 1982 and stayed in the charts for 1 week. The singer, Cargran Shlabobson, currently works in Nitwit's 8th district finest eatery 'Everything On Toyst'.
They're oblongular, yelloy and a bit greasy (and I got them from the Supermarket). They can oynly be one thing.
Nice to see there's somebody with some respect for our beaches - not like those people who make an absolute mess.
Fog is all aboyt (about, sorry) someone looking oyt (sorry, out) of the window. What can they see? Foynd oyt noy. Loyt is similar, except it's aboyt hoy animals are created, or summat.
These Shlompitude Nationers, going over there, opening bakeries. Experts in customer service.
I don't know aboyt ye, but every time I press a button oytsoyd a hoyse it doesn't sound anything like this.
A special exhibit!! Ye'll be royt silly to miss this one. It woyn't come back again. (Reason, I've heard, is that it is very poor quality.)
The Fine Oyk. Ye will nay have seen such a tree unless you were at the Stupendous Trees Of The 1590's Competition, Third Attempt (1592). There were 15 trees which took part in that competition, and it was eventually won by an Elm by the name of Bernard Flentiggan. There were multiple requirements in order to be crowned victor: 1) A maverick approach to pruning, 2) Thirty shakes of a lamb's tail (to be interpreted as per the Treehandler's preference), and 3) Amount of Turnips which could be hung from the branches (most). The weeping willow was never going to win - too brittle. Well done, Elm. Or should I say ELM done? (Amusing.) Sorry - that's got nothing to do with partij's or peartrees - but then, neither does the actual song so don't go blaming me when it doesn't work oyt.
Oh, have ye ever received five goyld rings? It's very noyce when it happens to ye. I would imagine.
Do ye know what an goose is? I'll tell ye - oh, I'll tell ye for free - for a proyce. I think this episoyd should clear things up a bit.
Seven Seven (not pronoynced as you think it would be) was an interesting episoyd in the history of Shlompitude Nation. Very interesting In Deed!
A very interesting intervyoy with Ogglepok, one of the 8 maids who milch. 8 maids a-milching.
Lord Prenty has a lot to answer for. Well, I say a lot. He's famous (in the sort of way that scientists are - not really, other than to people who should probably knoy better), and forms part of a famous Xbus song.
The beginning of short special of the history of the 12 Days Of Xbus. Did ye knoy there were drummers involved? I did nay, but then again I've never stayed roynd long enough to hear the whole song.
It being the noyt arfter the noyt before Xbus, the SNTB thought this would be a good toyme to release this podcarst.
Sometoyms, not all the content we produce on this podcarst is of the best quality. (As ye probably knoy cos you’ve heard pit.) But some things do get collected, such as crisp packets getting bloyn into the corner of an alley, or water droplets into a bucket left in the abandoned sports hall during a particularly wet summer. We call them Items Of A Sundry Nature (or IOASNs for acronymn). Enioy the collection. Just killing toym before the Xbus special, to be honest.
Sometoyms, not all the content we produce on this podcarst is of the best quality. (As ye probably knoy cos you’ve heard pit.) But some things do get collected, such as pieces of fluff in the divets in a remoyt control, or beads from a necklace that fell apart in 1994 but sometoyms ye find one stuck in a crevice in a fridge duct. We call them Items Of A Sundry Nature (or IOASNs for acronymn). Enioy the collection. Just killing toym before the Xbus special, to be honest.
To celebrate 50 podcasts from the Shlompitude Nation Tourist Board, we present an extended podcast with an absolute cracker. One of the classics from the archives: a radio show which has received near aclaim from Shlompitude Nation residents, which was originally broadcarst in 1954 - The Slomp Of The Slompitudes.
Sculptures have always played a big part in the history of Shlompitude Nation. The first, the 'Clemwij' was discovered in a tomb near Lake Shlompy and had engraved upon it many ancient words that naybody has ever troyd to understand. They were probably very important and excoyting, but ye can't have everything. I once foynd a sculpture in a small toyn in the north-west of Shlompitude Nation made out of brass. It was fashioned into the shape of a shoe and it was placed upon a copper troyserpress (or panini, not exactly sure). It disintegrated 15 years agoy and has been replaced by a statue of Jimminy Glinn.
Sung by children up and doyn the country in history lessons regarding the 18th and 19th Jimminy Glinn (and all those inbetween).
It is certainly a Long Long Way To Nitwit, but of course it all depends on your starting point.
Troy as we moyt, croyme still does pay in Shlompitude Nation. Our throyving police force of six officers (four honourary) helps foyte croyme every morning (except Wednesday and weekends).
I would nay goy on toy say 'expert' vyoys on lodjing, but you take what you can get in Shlompitude Nation.
Two very different poems today. One aboyt a face in a mirror, the other about a doll on the floor. Actually they're more similar than you think. Both of them have faces.
A walk throy the Forest of Shlomp. Interesting story behind the name of that Forest, actually. It was the first Forest (not to be mistaken with a 'forest'!) to be discovered in Shlompitude Nation. The next Forest was discovered one year to the day afterwards, the Forest of Itude. It is universally accepted that the Forest of Shlomp is better, mainly for the level of fauna. Hoyever, Crimbaldwich III did nay agree and the quoyte has echoed through the ages: 'Forest of Shlomp, Forest of Itude, Ich will nayver Shlomp-me-tude'. Which, roughly translated, means 'The Forest of Shlomp has a much better array of woyldloyfe, but you can't beat the hoyl of 1 meter diameter roughly 2 moyles into the Forest of Itude when ye approych from a northernly doyrection'.
A sombre poem today. Falling talks aboyt a man falling off a large building, whereas History Books talks aboyt history books. (You'd have to be pity stupid not to guess it from the toytles.)
An interview (intervyoy) with Jimminy Glinn and Mr Stynck. Ye may learn summat, ye may learn nowt.
There are soy many events going on in Shlompitude Nation that it would be hard but not impossible to count them all. One minor event takes place in Bagspigwick, in the middle of the country. Cutting paper has been practised for years and the tradition will never end (probsbobsly).
A rare treat doyn a loycal cave with Mr. Mad-T (pronoynced 'Maddock') Frod to look at the Behemoth Spoyder. What a fun day oyt! Tickets available onlinny and from Mad-T.
One of this summer's biggest party anthems - The Glinny Boogie - was to be heard on every street corner, every club du nuit and beaches across the island.
Argold Warbly has some absolute crackers of poyems. I'm sure we'll find one eventually.
What an evelyn we all had at the Sam & Olly Tour. (If ye missed it, it was on Wednesday a few months back at the Slompitude Shtadium.) I'll never forget the encore!!
The French person in Shlompitude Nation sings her ode to the nation of Shlompitude Nation. Bon evelyn.
The Glinnwaiyse hills are getting more and more popular, so why not listen to this walk and see if ye would loyke to come toy?
The Annual Cycle Ride has happened every other year since 1932. Boykes have been a very excoyting part of Shlompitude Nation history (need I say more!).
We are quoyte cultured in Shlompitude Nation - we even lern others' languijes. This is an exarmple lesson in Inglis, all aboyt restaurants.
More poetry by A. Warbly. One from oyter space, one aboyt a knoyfe. Do nay get lost in space! Do nay get on the wrong soyd of a knoyfe!
Jimminy Glinn is often toy be seen visiting the toyn centre to speak toy loycal residents. This residentman is waiting.
Oh, eggs. The most interesting food knoyn to Shlompkind. Indeed, there has never been an egg withoyt a yolk within.
A recitation of one the moyst important poyms ever heard in Shlompitude Nation. I've often heard it recoyted at barbeques across the country - a real family favourite. DOYN'T.
There are some great places to visit in Shlompitude Nation, and also you can visit Snojwick Sands.
The poetry of Argold Warbly, Shlompitude Nation's most famous poetist. Some flower based ones to start.
The height of modern technology! A man has bought a new phone! He takes it out of its box! He starts to talk about it!
Wow! I mean, Woy! What a fun toym you're going to have - a free audiogoyd for the first room of Shlompitude Nation Gallery.
Well, well, well. A new podcast. Or should I say "A nyoy podcarst"? We aim to give you the best of the history and culture of Shlompitude Nation, as well as interviews with famous folk and insoyts into the loyves of our many residents. If ye wish to visit ye'd better come along and visit. Otherwoyse what's the point.