Be Light, Shine Bright: Recent Episodes
Pokarlla
A podcast by Pokarlla Kiara from Mārama Counselling, about life, counselling, therapy and other things!
In this episode Pokarlla chats with special guest and fellow therapist Kelly Wiseman; a Developmental Educator (DE) from Autistic Gem. What is a DE? Who would benefit from seeing one? How does learning about our (and/or our children’s) diagnosis aid us in directing supports? How can our strengths and interests contribute to a feeling of equilibrium.
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Pokarlla discusses upcoming events and offerings from Marama Counselling, Kiara Knowledge and the Be Light, Shine Bright Podcast.
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Pokarlla and Jarni (founders of Marama Counselling and Flourish By Nature) talk about the formation of their collaboration: Kiara Knowledge - the integration of knowledge passed from mother to daughter. Listen to hear about our new offering.
In this episode Pokarlla discusses the concepts of Alignment and Flow. What is alignment? What is flow? How can we tell if we are in or out of alignment? What are some things that help you to get into or stay in alignment?
In this episode, Pokarlla discusses why she enjoyed recently watching the television show "This Is Us". She talks about things learned from the how, topics and subject matter it covers. Please note that this episode is Pokarlla's opinion and view only and is open to discussion and interpretation.
This episode talks about not setting yourself on fire to keep other people warm. It discusses boundaries, being kind to yourself, recognising "safe people", rest and balancing out negative interactions with positive ones.
In this episode Pokarlla discusses self-worth. We choose how we show up. We choose how our energy is put out to the world. Other peoples' thoughts and opinions about us do not matter. Only what we think about ourselves matters. Don't take anything personally. Your worth comes from you.
In this episode Pokarlla discusses the importance of celebrating your personal wins, and giving yourself the recognition that you deserve. She discusses how celebrating your wins can impact you in a positive way. Pokarlla talks about sharing your success and celebrating your wins with safe people, and how you can learn from your mistakes.
In this episode Pokarlla speaks about having the courage to choose yourself, and why this is important. Pokarlla talks about how this may encompass: setting boundaries, teaching others how to treat you, protecting your space and vibrating higher.
In this episode Pokarlla speaks about how you can manage your "low battery". She talks about how to recognise when you are running on low or empty, and discusses some things that you can do to recharge.
What are values? How can they help me to live a life that feels in alignment with my personal happiness and satisfaction? How can I prioritise my values?
This episode discusses confabulation. What is confabulation? How is it different to lying? What can it be associated with? What are some things that can help with confabulation?
With the new year can come new wishes for ourselves. This episode looks at embracing change, setting goals, making resolutions and acknowledging personal growth.
This podcast episode talks about developing a Feel Good List; a list of things that make you feel good. It talks about breaking down your list into categories, and why having such a list may be beneficial. You can find a printable pdf template for a Feel Good List here: https://www.maramacounselling.com/helpful-documents
In this podcast episode Pokarlla talks about the importance of knowing how you like to give and receive love; and how knowing about the five basic love languages (coined by Dr Gary Chapman in his 1992 book) can help you to better express love towards yourself and the loved ones in your life. The love languages that Pokarlla talks about in this episode are: Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Gifts, Quality Time and Words of Affirmation.
In this episode Pokarlla discusses the benefits of smiling for our mental health and wellbeing. Suggestions for activities to help increase the likelihood of smiling are spoken about and Pokarlla addresses some of the reasons why you may find it hard to smile.
This episode looks at slow, deep breaths (diaphragmatic breathing) and how it can aid in relaxation. It talks about the Vagus Nerve and the role it plays in the Parasympathetic Nervous System. Pokarlla walks you through a 5 Breath Exercise.
This episode looks at some things that may help tyou to find it easier to hold space for yourself.
What are the different way in which we harm ourselves? Self-harm can encompass physical and emotional components. It may involve things like addiction, or living with low self worth or love. We may not be living intentionally or in accordance with our own values and morals. We may also be used to putting others and the needs of others first.
This episode looks at the different ways we can approach self-care, particularly embracing or embodying the following categories: emotional, physical, social, intellectual, spiritual and sensory.
What is "Me Time"? What might it look like? What feels good to you?
What can "Me Time" help with? It sounds a little scary, how can I ease myself into it? How can I prioritise myself?
In this episode Pokarlla talks about "baby steps" and what is meant by that term. It looks at approaching periods of adjustment or transition by taking smaller steps or making slower progress.
In this episode, Pokarlla discusses the way in which we speak to ourselves. How can we begin to change negative self talk to positive self talk?
In this episode Pokarlla looks at periods of transition and how they can lead to growth. We examine the notion of "comfort zones", pushing through, dissolving blocks, being ok with unknown elements, goal setting and purpose and creating safety.
This episode explores some tools and ways of thinking that may help you to adjust and readjust.
Welcome to 2022! With the new year, comes the new year resolutions. Pokarlla talks about some of the different ways you can hone your goal setting process.
In this episode Pokarlla talks about some of the reasons why this time of year can be stressful. She discusses some things to keep in mind that may help.
A podcast episode exploring the definition and connotations of words like revenge and pettiness. Do we conceptualise emotions and words the same way as others do?
This episode explores honesty. What does it mean to be honest? Why is honesty important? How does honesty relate to accountability and authenticity? How can honesty help our relationships and interactions with other individuals? How can we be honest when it might feel hard (or scary)? How does honesty foster feelings of trust and safety?
What does it mean to be selfish? What does selfishness look like? Is selfishness wholly bad? What can I do if selfishness is something that affects me?
What is respect? What does it encompass? Why is it important? How can we show and display respect?
This episode explores jealousy. What is jealousy? What are the different emotions associated with jealousy? What causes jealousy? What does jealousy feel like? How can jealousy affect me? How can we combat or work with jealousy?
This episode explores the different times when we may need to say no, why we might find this difficult and how to say no.
Opening up Communication is about being ok with communicating wants and needs, and listening to the wants and needs of others. It is about being vulnerable, having difficult conversations, communicating assertively, setting boundaries, holding space, practising the pause and introspecting on your own role in interactions. Having open communication can help our relationships, increase personal happiness and reduce feelings of guilt, shame or resentment.
This episode talks about holding space. What does it mean to hold space? Why is it important? It discusses how holding space allows vulnerability, creates safety, validates others and allows healing and growth. This episode will also talk about how you can hold space for someone else.
In this episode we talk about what is meant by the term "Practising the Pause". We look at moments and circumstances when you might need to take a pause. I discuss how taking some time out can help you. Pausing can help you to avoid saying something you may regret, it assists you in being the best version of yourself and can reduce stress and anxiety. This episode explores the different ways that you can press pause.
Mind Your Own Business. In this podcast episode we will talk about staying in your own lane, not taking things personally, taking personal responsibility and accountability, developing yourself and looking for areas of improvement, using your triggers for positive purposes, not minding the opinions of others and brushing yourself off and trying again. Remember we cannot change others, only ourselves.
In this episode Pokarlla explores triggers. What is a trigger? Why can it be useful to identify them? How can we positively utilise them for our personal growth? What are some of the positive aspects of triggers? How can we respond to the triggers of others?
An episode about Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, something that that may be experienced by individuals living with a neurodivergence like ADHD or ASD. RSD is intense, overwhelming and sometimes debilitating emotional pain that is caused by perceived rejection or criticism. While RSD is a "neurologically hardwired" response, there are a number of things that may help.
This episode covers the green flags you can look out for in your relationships with others. Green flags are aspects of relationships that contribute to your life and you sense of being in positive ways. Aspects covered in this episode include: empathy, accountability, cooperation, safety, respect and boundaries.
This podcast episode is about communication, and the differences between submissive, aggressive and assertive communication. It discusses the importance of integrity, authenticity and honesty, and why communicating in this way can help you to reduce feelings of anxiety or instances of miscommunication.
This episode discusses reactions to trauma that occur on the anniversary that the original trauma occurred. It talks about some of the common reactions and somatic sensations that you may experience during your anniversary reaction and some things you can do that might help.
This episode looks at some of the things that make a good friend, and how you can encompass these things to touch and uplift the lives of others.
This episode looks at why we should consider the types of people that we surround ourselves with and how they can influence us for better or for worse.
This episode looks at this phrase and what it means in the sense of being a role model for younger people, but also in giving yourself the things that you may have needed as a child now that you are an adult.
In this episode Pokarlla talks about knowing yourself in such a way that the projections of others do not contribute to the way you feel about yourself. You are the one who tells yourself who you are. You are the writer of your personal story; not others.
We are all of us different, and yet that makes us the same. A brief discourse born from a passing thought, on differences, sameness, personal boundaries and limits.
In this episode Pokarlla speaks about healing journeys, and how often they can look different to what we might expect.
Pokarlla chats to Travis about Counselling and his private practice "The Catharsis Society".
Travis talks with Pokarlla about his journey towards becoming a Counsellor, aspects of Counselling like empathy, supervision, and session lengths, and about what he offers in both in-person and online therapy.
Both Pokarlla and Travis talk about how their personal life experiences shape and complement their therapy practice.
You can find more information about Travis and his practice on his website here: https://thecatharsissociety.com/
A brief episode about persistence, perseverance, being kind to yourself and not being scared of your weaknesses.
This episode looks at how we can take responsibility for our own actions, and how we can leave the responsibilities of others with them.
This episode looks at what we should we look for in our friends, and perhaps what we should avoid.
This episode talks about the power of focus and attention when it comes to our thoughts. It talks about some strategies for dealing with anxieties and worries.
This episode focuses on the ways that we can be ok with ourselves during the process of healing .
This is the second podcast episode recorded in honour of Heart Month. In this episode, Pokarlla talks about her experiences as a parent of a child with a congenital heart defect and the different coping strategies that helped her and her family.
In honour of heart month, Pokarlla discusses her personal experience with her son Jax who was born with a Congenital Heart Defect. She highlights things she found both helpful and unhelpful on this journey.
This episode looks at negative feelings like shame and guilt and how we can help ourselves overcome them. It talks about accountability and the opportunities for redemption and growth that these negative emotions can lead us to. It also describes different ways of forgiving ourselves.
In this episode Pokarlla and Tarhlia discuss the topic "Choosing You". This episode examines at what it means to choose yourself, and make yourself a priority, why this might be difficult and why it is important.
Tarhlia also reads us some of her poetry which can also be accessed here: https://tarhliam.wixsite.com/website
Why are healthy habits important? What are some examples of healthy habits? How can healthy habits be best introduced?
Pokarlla explores these questions with some help from her 10 year old son Dexter.
What is a resolution? I talk about: personal growth and being the best you that you can be, lessons learned from 2020 and share some resolutions that you may not have thought about yet.
This is Volume 3 of Conversations About ASD (Part 3). For the last few weeks I have had conversations about Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) with my sister Jarni Kiara. Both Jarni and myself have discussed different aspects of living with autism and how we both experience these aspects. Volume 3 is about Executive Dysfunction, Demand Avoidance and Diagnosis. This episode (Part 3) discusses the question: What led you toward getting an ASD diagnosis?
This is Volume 3 of Conversations About ASD (Part 2). For the last few weeks I have had conversations about Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) with my sister Jarni Kiara. Both Jarni and myself have discussed different aspects of living with autism and how we both experience these aspects. Volume 3 is about Executive Dysfunction, Demand Avoidance and Diagnosis. This episode (Part 2) covers: Demand Avoidance and Pathological Demand Avoidance.
This is Volume 3 of Conversations About ASD (Part 1). For the last few weeks I have had conversations about Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) with my sister Jarni Kiara. Both Jarni and myself have discussed different aspects of living with autism and how we both experience these aspects. Volume 3 is about Executive Dysfunction, Demand Avoidance and Diagnosis. This episode (Part 4) discusses the questions: What was involved for you in your diagnosis? What were your feelings around your diagnosis? What are your thoughts and feelings about labels like “high-functioning” or “low-functioning”?
This is Volume 3 of Conversations About ASD (Part 1). For the last few weeks I have had conversations about Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) with my sister Jarni Kiara. Both Jarni and myself have discussed different aspects of living with autism and how we both experience these aspects. Volume 3 is about Executive Dysfunction, Demand Avoidance and Diagnosis. This episode (Part 1) covers: Executive Dysfunction and the difficulties that a person can experience with various cognitive processes like: Planning, Problem Solving, Working Memory, Attention, Reasoning, Initiation, Inhibition, Cognitive Flexibility and Monitoring.
This is Volume 2 of Conversations About ASD (Part 2). For the next few weeks I will be having conversations about Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) with my sister Jarni Kiara. Both Jarni and myself discuss different aspects of living with autism and how we both experience these aspects. Volume 2 is about Communication and Socialising. This episode (Part 2) covers: Processing Issues (Auditory Input) or Verbal/Language Processing Issues, Comprehension, Literal Understanding, Interpretation Issues, Making Sense of Miscommunications, Confusion, Aversion to Socialising, Dislike of Small Talk/Lies, Blunt Manner/Directness, Distress at the Unexpected, Scripting (Talking in quotes) and Selective Mutism or Being Non-Verbal.
This is Volume 2 of Conversations About ASD (Part 1). For the next few weeks I will be having conversations about Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) with my sister Jarni Kiara. Both Jarni and myself discuss different aspects of living with autism and how we both experience these aspects. Volume 2 is about Communication and Socialising. This episode (Part 1) covers: Social awkwardness, Special Interests, Autistic Inertia, Social Cues, Facial Expressions and Masking.
This is Part 2 of Conversations about ASD: Volume 1. For the next few weeks I will be having conversations about Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) with my sister Jarni Kiara. Both Jarni and myself discuss different aspects of living with autism and how we both experience these aspects.This episode covers Interoception, Proprioception, Empathy, Reading Others, Meltdowns and Shutdowns.
This Episode is a brief introduction into Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). It looks at some of the signs and symptoms of ASD. Over the next few weeks, I will be talking to my sister Jarni Kiara about how we experience life as adult females with ASD, so this episode gives a little background into ASD.
This is Volume 1 of Conversations about ASD (Part 1). For the next few weeks I will be having conversations about Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) with my sister Jarni Kiara. Both Jarni and myself discuss different aspects of living with autism and how we both experience these aspects. This episode covers Sensory Processing, Sensory Aversions, Sensory Seeking and Stimming.
How do the different things we engage in in our lifestyles (food, substances and exercise) interact with our bodies and brain chemistry to impact our mental health? What are some of the neurotransmitters that play a role in our happiness, mindset and mental health?
This episode looks at writing and discovering your own personal story. Learning about ourselves, our strengths, our defining moments, our flaws, our mistakes and how we might want things to change or look different. It looks at how we can embrace our ability to choose, and how this empowers us.
This episode talks about living on purpose and with purpose. I discuss integrity, authenticity and alignment. It looks at discovering your own values and getting clear on what you want to experience in your reality. It also looks at introspection, accountability and taking ownership. I also discuss different tools that can help us to introspect and stay in alignment.
This episode explores support, and how to be a good support person. The focus will be primarily on listening and validation and self-care.
This episode looks at gratitude. What is gratitude? What are some of the benefits of engaging in gratitude? It also explores compliments and kindness.
What is anxiety? How does is express itself in the body and mind? What are some things that can help when experiencing anxiety?
In this episode, Pokarlla talks to special guest Tarhlia about creativity, her writing and how creativity links with mental health and wellbeing.
In this episode, we explore the different types of Defense Mechanisms and whether they are maladaptive, harmful, disruptive or whether they can be considered to be healthy coping mechanisms.
This episode explores emotional wounds (what causes them, what they feel like and how to begin to heal from them), setting personal boundaries, looking at what makes a good apology and forgiveness.
In this episode Pokarlla is joined by special guest Tania Kiara (her mum) and they discuss different types of support work, including Doula work and group facilitated disability support work.
This episode talks about burnout, what it is, how to recognise it and how to avoid and/or heal from it.
This episode explores the significance of hobbies, interests and passions and introduces the concept and practice of Time Chunking.