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We all want an inspirational leader. Someone to look up to, to give us hope and direction. A leader who engages us as individuals and treats us well. But most of all makes us want to be better.

But what if that leader is you?!? And today, You’re just not feeling up for it?

Welcome to this Joy@Work AdvantEdge Guide to Find Your Mojo Again by harnessing the power of your inner chemistry.

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And today you're feeling a bit blah. Everything's sort of "meh" and you'd like to just hang in there for the time being and let Future Self take responsibility for that.

We all go through phases in life when our mood is uplifting, positive, dynamic and we feel like we could conquer the world. And then there's that "meh" moment, when everything is a little bland, and what would be really really nice is if someone else would just take charge and be the one to inspire and engage and buck us up.

To choose to switch your drive and motivation on so that you can inspire others, we're going to delve into the neuroscience of how your brain works, learn what drives you (and everybody else) and then we're going to take charge of the chemistry cocktail bar inside your brain.

The Neuroscience of your Get Up and Go (aka your MOJO)

Your brain is not your best friend when it comes to feeling positive, enthusiastic and inspired. In fact, neuroscientific evidence shows that our brains are hard-wired to make us feel mentally crappy most of the time.

Let me geek out with some acronyms for a moment - it's interesting stuff. Briefly, your brain is survival focussed and it is controlled by the Sympathetic Nervous System (the SNS) and the Hypothalamic-Pituitary-Adrenal Axis (HPPA). Both the SNS and HPAA are reactive systems. That is, they register any (and every) possible threat and fire you up chemically to respond.

This is fantastically useful in keeping you safe but it has the rather unpleasant side effect of making you feel anxious, stressed, disappointed and generally low spirited.

Today's living environment for most of us, especially in urban areas means that both your SNS and HPAA are fired up much of the time in response to the daily challenges you face on your daily commute, in noisy, crowded offices, surrounded by beeping devices and with a boss imposing impossible deadlines... Modern life is taking a large toll on your peace of mind.

Yet, you have another system available to you called the ParaSympathetic Nervous System (PSNS). And when your PSNS takes charge you feel great: calm, relaxed, chill, tranquil, clear-headed, and well, happy.

Yes, the name of the Sympathetic Nervous System is a little misleading in our modern understanding of the word "sympathetic", but it is the system that makes you feel stressed or basically, crappy.

OK, so a quick summary, your brain automagically, or rather, unconsciously, reacts to environmental stimuli through your Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) and/or your Hypothalamic-Pituitary-Adrenal Axis (HPAA) to prepare you to deal with any threats. Once the threat passes, or you choose to consciously engage it, your ParaSympathetic System (PSNS) switches on to calm you down and get back to other important stuff like digesting your food, maintaining homeostasis, slowing your heart rate and so on.

Just make a note that you can choose to consciously trigger the PSNS. I'll be back to this at the end.

Before that though, let's remember what actually drives you. i.e. what gets you getting up and going?

As you know, we all have six foundational drivers that are at the heart of practical neuroscience.

Of course, your brain is an incredibly complex organ and variations of human behaviour are an endless ocean of subtle differences. But we can identify six neuro-scientifically founded basic needs of human beings and how these influence our motivational behaviours and how we interact with the world around us.

As human beings, we have developed to use the environment to its best and allow for reproduction and the furtherment of our species: our survival and growth.

Your six drivers are:

• Physical Survival! Our physiological needs of hunger, thirst, sleep and sex.

• Maximising Pleasure and avoiding pain to feel safer and more secure.

• Growing Attachment, so that we have a better sense of belonging.

• Increasing our Control.Which helps satisfy our need to matter.

• Boosting our Self-Esteem: Which helps satisfy our need for self-actualisation.

• Being of Service to others. We are only truly satisfied when we help other people.

Each of these stimulates different neuronal circuits and will activate different regions in the brain. Let me briefly share a little more about each of these needs and then we'll examine how we can consciously and deliberately affect them and hence, our FEELING of drive, inspiration and engagement. You can easily remember this using the SPACES acronym.

For a full reminder about SPACES and details of each of your drivers:

Is Your Battery Running Low?

Understanding the 6 Essential Human Needs of Your Team for Successful Leadership

Now, we’ve reminded ourselves about what drives you, it’s time to geek out on some chemistry…

What's chemistry got to do with my feeling driven and inspired?

Well everything!

How you FEEL in any situation is your conscious interpretation of the physiological response of your body, triggered by the combination (or cocktail) of chemicals released as a result of your conscious thinking and your SNS, PNS and HPAA and unconscious responses.

It's a lot more complex than the five chemicals I'm talking about here, but understanding how these affect you will help you understand the essence of how a change in the balance of these chemicals inside you changes how you feel, and hence your motivation and desires.

You will already know much about adrenaline and cortisol - your key stress hormones. And just in case you don't, I have a wonderful little whiteboard video you can watch.

But you also have some "happy" chemicals. These are Oxytocin, Serotonin and Dopamine.

Five chemicals you need to know about:

• Oxytocin - regarded as the “love” hormone. Makes you feel "loved", "trusted", "cared for".

• Serotonin – closely linked with your mood amongst many other vital functions. Makes you feel "proud", "satisfied", "content".

• Dopamine – triggers the joyful hope of anticipated reward. Makes you feel "happy", "joyful", "driven"or "motivated".

• Cortisol – our stress chemical. Makes you feel "stressed", "anxious", "on-edge"

• Adrenaline – creates arousal and readiness to ‘fight or fly’. Makes you feel "frightened", "scared", "angry", "stronger", "alert".

Good times, bad times, you know I've had my share...

(whoops, a little Led Zeppelin slipped in there.)

When our thinking and perception of the environment is associated positively to our own experiences, this triggers the release of our "happy chemicals" : serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin.

On the other side, when we feel stressed, anxious or upset about the fulfilment of our basic needs, this is the result of cortisol, Norepinephrine (the brain's 'adrenaline') and adrenaline.

On the positive side:

• Increased self-esteem means more serotonin.

• Greater orientation and control means more dopamine.

• Having a trusted attachment means more oxytocin, and

• When pleasure is maximised we get more dopamine.

On the negative side:

• Lowered self-esteem means more cortisol.

• Reduced orientation and control means more cortisol.

• Little or reduced attachment increases adrenaline,

• as does pain increase adrenaline.

Your approach to your six basic needs may not be the same as mine of course. Generally speaking, I am a very positive and optimistic person. Someone else might be more negative and pessimistic about it. These approaches are known as your motivational schemata.

Motivational schemata

Motivational schemata are the instruments and methods that a person will develop through their lifetime to help satisfy their basic needs or to protect them. Within this there are two base schemata. On the one hand the approach schema which is a result of a person striving to fulfil their basic needs. On the other hand if a person strives to protect their basic needs this is known as an avoidance schema.

What does this mean?

Depending on your approach, you may be someone who continuously seeks to fulfil your personal needs, or someone who focuses their attention on avoiding the bad things. The way you speak, as in the words you use habitually, often reveal your schemata or approach.

By the way, neither is right, nor is one necessarily better than another, expect to say that we tend to get in life, what we focus on. Thus if you focus on avoiding pain, you'll probably experience (or be aware of) more pain than someone who focuses in the exact same circumstances on pleasure.

Dale Carnegie summed this up beautifully:

Two men looked out from prison bars, One saw the mud, the other saw stars.”

Are you happy or unhappy?

Happiness is a perception of how well the world matches your expectations and desires.

Stress, in contrast, comes from the expectation that our resources are not enough to achieve our desires,

There are days when we don't feel as if we are progressing towards our purpose. Heck, many people don't consciously know their purpose, but unconsciously we are all aware of those days when something just isn't right. we have no sense of progress or fulfilment. These are the "blah" days. the days when we don't feel like "getting up and going". The days when we have lost our mojo.

Well those days are days we have incongruity between our perception of the world and how well you have fulfilled your basic needs.

Any mismatch between your current motivational schemata and your perception of the world defines your feelings, behaviours and actions. Whether you act with the intention of fulfilling your needs or protecting what you perceive that you have.

You sense a need for change.

And maybe, just maybe, the world will see fit to make that change happen to you. Some call this luck, or karma, serendipity or synchronicity. But in the 99.9% of times when that lady luck doesn't happen to call on you today, you'll want to be able to pull yourself out of that funk and reignite your engines.

As a leader, it is your job to inspire others, to engage them and motivate them to do the things that matter. And that's awfully difficult to do when you are not feeling inspired, engaged or particularly motivated. And you already know that it's unlikely that someone else is going to lift you up right now.

Sure it would be nice, and I know that you deserve it, but here's the rub: your boss isn't inspiring you because they ain't feeling it either. So let's choose to take charge of life and choose to switch the motivation engines on.

We can even measure how well we are aligned to our basic needs by assessing how much each of the six needs matters to use personally and how well that is currently being fulfilled.

I'm sharing a simple SPACES assessment tool that you can use to measure the congruity between your current work environment and your preferences:

Now this is going to be a whole lot easier for you if you already (consciously) know your own life purpose (that is you are a eudaemonite). Per chance you don't have clarity on that then here's a podcast and guide for you. In the meantime let's switch on your motivation engines shall we?

If you're busy paying attention to something else right now, like emailing, facebook trawling, driving a vehicle wait until you can take five minutes out. I'll need your complete attention.

Ready?

Breathe!

Yes, I said: "Breathe."

Deep, long, slow breaths. In through your nose and blow it from your mouth.

Surely I'm kidding you? You've been doing this all the time and feeling "meh". Yes, there is more to it, but right now just breathe.

Give it a few more seconds of deep breathing.

...

Powerful huh?

Breathing is your first step to Relax!

Now as you continue focussing attention on your breathing, I'd like you to touch your lips with your (clean) fingers. You might like to lick your lips with your tongue.

Now, you can choose what to do for the next four minutes.

• Practice deliberate physical and mental relaxation

• Meditate

• Pray

• Bring your attention towards sensations in your body

• Focus attention on immediate sensory experiences and feelings (also called mindfulness)

Choose one of the five. I like to spend my time meditating on a verse from the Bible and praying to God.

Whatever you choose, be aware of your breathing, deeply in through the nose and blowing sharply out through your mouth.

Pause the podcast and do it now, safely of course. Come back when you are done and I'll wrap this up with why it works.

Good to have you back (or maybe you're going to do it later.)

What just happened?

Your brain needs a lot of oxygen because it burns a lot of energy, 20% of your body's calorific burn for a 3 pound mass! You just increased the availability of oxygen in your body and hence available to your brain.

Breathing out sharply through your mouth reduces cortisol in your body, which reduces your stress and anxiety.

Because you have taken executive control (by deliberately choosing what to do instead of your body reacting to the environment) you have reduced adrenaline production. The threat must have passed if you aren't concerned about it!

With the two key stress hormones reduced, you then touched or licked your lips, which triggered your PSNS (Parasympathetic Nervous System) to get working - remember this is the system that slows your heart rate and calms you down. You're clearing your thinking brain to consider positive, uplifting thoughts and ideas.

Touching your own body (especially the lips) also stimulates the release of oxytocin - better still when you do this with your life parter. This makes you feel more loved, trusted or cared for and increases your feeling of attachment.

Thinking positive, uplifting thoughts stimulates dopamine and serotonin production and you are believing that you have taken charge of the situation, which increases your self-esteem and sense of orientation and control.

You will also begin to feel greater pleasure whilst reducing pain through this very simple exercise.

To find your Mojo again, Take 5

All it takes is 5 minutes to breathe and either pray, meditate, be mindful, or simply be relaxed to regain that sense of control, to engage and re-ignite the fires of your motivation.

And if it doesn't happen in the first 5 minutes. Take just 5 more.

If you need an outside voice with a fresh perspective to challenge and empower you, your team, or business to a new level of performance and engagement then let’s talk now.

And if you know someone who you know would benefit from this Joy@Work Guide, please share this with them. Just click the share button.

Be blessed and have an awesome day.

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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.joyatwork.coach

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Abraham Maslow proposed a sixth level in his renowned five level hierarchy of human needs, which behavioural neuroscience has since confirmed. These levels explain the essential drivers of our behaviours, actions and reactions.

For leaders to be successful, they should first ensure that their own needs are met, and then understand and help their team members meet their needs. To do this, a leader needs to understand that their team members have 6 essential needs - physiological, safety and security, belonging, mattering, self-Actualisation and transcendence. Each of these needs must be fulfilled in order for an individual to reach their fullest potential. Leaders should strive to provide their teams with meaningful work, opportunities for growth, and an environment of trust, collaboration and respect.

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Only by understanding and meeting the essential needs of their team members, a leader can develop a successful and productive team.

Why you need this

You need to be able to help your team fill their own power cell and ignite their destiny. Every team member has different needs and motivations and it’s the job of the leader to understand and meet those needs through different strategies.

They need to feel accepted, respected and that their ideas matter. Leaders should be mindful to include emotional intelligence in their leadership strategy. They should be cognizant of the emotional needs and psychological dynamics of their team and give team members the space to express their feelings.

Leaders should use empowering language and be mindful of their team’s limits. Each team member should have meaningful work and have opportunities for growth. Leaders should also be conscious of what their team members value and strive to provide them with those things.

It is also the leader’s job to foster a team environment where team members can collaborate, solve problems and grow together. Leaders should recognise the importance of building trust and rapport within the team, and ensure that all team members are treated fairly and equally.

Finally, leading a team requires understanding the different needs of each team member. A great leader is someone who has the ability to empathise and be compassionate with each team member and see things from their perspective. By doing this, the leader can help each individual in the team realize their full potential, and maximise the collective potential of the whole team.

Abraham Maslow wanted to add a sixth level to his renowned five level hierarchy of human needs. Today, with our increased understanding through behavioural neuroscience, he was right to want to include it. These 6 human needs are THE essential drivers of our every day behaviours, actions and reactions.

What does this mean for you as a Leader?

Every leader needs to understand:

• How to fulfil their own needs, and

• Their role in helping all of their team members meet their essential, human needs.

Ultimately, by doing so, those leaders can fulfil their own need to help and serve others.

Is Your Battery Running Low?

Imagine that your needs are like a discharged battery that you are able to charge through your life activities.

When the bottom cell is sufficiently filled, the next cell can be charged. All human beings have 6 essential needs, or power cells.

Though, some people have faulty power packs - with a corrupted sixth cell that has been taken over by a leaky fifth cell. That is, they care less about other people because their self-esteem is so overfilled they hold others in total contempt - because they matter less than me!

Beware overfilling any one cell: Gluttony and Obesity with an overfilled Cell 1, Excessive risk taking for Cell 2.

And many have a leaky battery, where their own needs never get filled.

What does this mean for you as a Leader?

Every leader needs to understand:

• Your own needs need to be met BEFORE you have enough to give others, and

• Whilst things may look OK on the surface - people tend to hide their emotional needs fearing that they are the only ones who have them.

By this, you’ll be better able to ask the right questions and better positioned to serve others and help them fulfil their real needs.

Empty Power Pack

If your needs are not met, you are an empty shell. Imagine that your brain is being powered by a rechargeable power pack.

The very first thing that you need when you are born is air. Soon after you need food, warmth and shelter. Sorry to tell you, but you were born needy and totally dependent upon others for your basic survival, and that is our first and primary need…

What does this mean for you as a Leader?

• If you’re running on empty - you’re not much use to anyone!

• As a leader, you help your team understand what they need and how you can help them satisfy those needs.

Physiological Needs

Basic Survival means that you have air to breathe, are properly fed and watered, you are in good health, have suitable shelter to stay warm and rest and your sexual needs are being met.

As a responsible leader you owe a duty to yourself and your continued good health to ensure that you enjoy good rest and sleep, exercise regularly and eat healthy, nutritious food.

What does this mean for you as a Leader?

• If you don’t look after your health, exercise, sleep and nutrition - you won’t be able to achieve much.

• Encourage and guide your team into a healthier lifestyle of good nutrition, suitable exercise and proper rest and sleep.

Safety and Security Needs

We all need to FEEL and be safe and secure and be free from fear.

In organisations, Psychological Safety is the #1 differentiator for personal and team effectiveness!

What does this mean for you as a Leader?

• If you do not feel safe and secure and free from fear - then you are likely to make this even worse for your team.

• As a leader, allow your team members to speak up without any negative repercussions. Protect them from other leaders. Encourage all members to speak up freely and always encourage useful conflict and opposing ideas. Encourage everyone to build on previous statements with “Yes, and…” (NOT “No…But…”)

Belonging Needs

We all need to truly belong to a tribe of people connected to us and who help us meet our needs. A tribe where we have equal value and treated as equal.

What does this mean for you as a Leader?

• You need a tribe too! If it’s lonely at the top - you ain’t leading, you’re on a walk!

• Treat all team members equitably - they may not be equals but they have equal value! Encourage sharing, and proactively acknowledging each other.

Mattering Needs

When our base needs are being met, we need to be recognised that we matter and that what we do matters.

What does this mean for you as a Leader?

• Learn to recognise and appreciate yourself. Respect yourself and achieve mastery in your leadership walk.

• Go out of your way to “Catch them doing something good!” - and deliberately recognise all team members achievements, individually and specifically. Not a catch all - “great job team!” - that’s about as genuine as it seems to you. Show complete respect for others and especially your team members. Coach them for mastery in their roles and beyond.

Self Actualisation Needs

When we are healthy and safe, we belong to a tribe and we matter: we need to pursue our God given talents, to be creative and to fulfil our destiny

What does this mean for you as a Leader?

• Leadership develops daily! Pursue excellence and keep learning how you can be and do better. Think before you speak and remember to Pause and Breathe.

• Encourage, Develop, Guide and Empower your team members daily! Your task is to make them better than you. That’s what will be noticed by those higher up the food chain.

Transcendence Needs

When we are personally fulfilled, we transcend to think more about others than ourselves. We need to give and to serve and to fulfil our spiritual selves.

What does this mean for you as a Leader?

• You will only be truly fulfilled when you give and give some more. If you have yet to uncover your purpose in life - here’s a clue that will save you many hours - “it’s not about you! You were born to serve others.” How you serve them - that’ll be your gifts to them.

• As a Leader your job is to serve others and when your power pack is filled to bursting, you can charge them up and help them find out and practice how they too serve others.

If you would like to learn how AdvantEdge Coaching can help you, your team and your organisation, then join me for a Complimentary Discovery Session by applying here.

Thanks for reading Joy@Work! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.joyatwork.coach

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In this AdvantEdge Guide we’ll discuss how establishing Command Intent is a more specific way of setting goals than SMART goals, as it has an embedded purpose. It involves imagining a successful future in each of five areas of life (your Rocket Ship for Life), and focusing on the senses of sight, feel, smell, taste, and sound to create a captivating and rich picture. For teams, the unit in charge of military simulations for NATO recommends asking themselves "if I do nothing else tomorrow, I must ____, so that ____". AdvantEdge Coaching can help to further equip and empower individuals to reach their Command Intent goals.

Why do we need a Rocket Ship for Life?

The Rocket Ship for Life came about because I used to suffer from a major problem. Basically, I was easily distracted. Teachers’ could rarely get, let alone keep, my attention. I’d start a new project only to quickly get bored or frustrated and move onto the next shiny object. If ADHD had been popular back then, perhaps, I could have gotten myself medicated for it!

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It wasn’t because I lacked goals. I had much that I wanted to achieve in my career. But, for some strange reason, I was always looking for something. I couldn’t get or keep focus long enough to stick with it and finish.

The big issue it turned out was not lack of clear goals, not an inability to focus it was that there were gaps in what I was trying to achieve. There was no balance. What many have badly described as work/life balance - but what I prefer to call work/life integration. It’s where you identify your desired intent in the five key areas of your life as the drivers of the things that you do every day, steered by your values and aligned to your overall purpose or mission in this life.

If you ask most people what they want from life, they’ll tell you a variation of “to be happy and successful”. What the Bible calls “Good Success” in Joshua 1:8.

Some people think that more money will make them happy. The problem is money is a great servant but a lousy master.

And so what if you achieve great success at work if you spend all your time at work and neglect your family and health?

As I mentioned, we have identified five key areas in life that, when attended to fully, will bring you real happiness and success as you fulfil them.

What are the five key areas?

These five key areas are like the engines of a rocket ship that you ride towards your life purpose. Your values are the way you steer and choose which paths you are following. The five areas that we’ve uncovered through our research are:

1. Family and Relationships

2. Health and Wellbeing

3. Spiritual Fulfilment

4. Personal Development

5. Work and Career

As you can imagine, like most people, I’d paid great attention to Work and Career and found it increasingly difficult to keep steering straight. I was working 80 plus hours each week (this was in the days when I was in the hotel and restaurant business) with no breaks, rarely a weekend off and scant holidays. I got away with it health wise for a good few years, but it shouldn’t have surprised me when my body rebelled and finally got me to pay a lot more attention to my health and wellbeing when my heart threw a hissy fit on July 4th 2014 at 11:33!

When you neglect an engine, it’s always going to be much more difficult to keep going towards your purpose, and very easy to get blown off course. It’s why your life and work are “off-balance.”

In the many years I have been coaching, fewer than 20% have anything remotely resembling “balance”. And they’ve usually been coached before or have had their own health or personal life crisis.

There’s many a successful person in the boardroom whose family life is in shambles.

Why these five areas and is one more important than the others?

As you think about each one you’ll realise that if you stop feeding one of these areas and consider the repercussions in your own life:

If you show no ambition in your work, your career stagnates and it just becomes a routine you could do with your eyes shut. Your brain becomes inactive and you are simply marking time until one day you retire… and then what?

Or you don’t bother with personal development after school or college and you learn nothing new. Now everything in your life stagnates. Your brain is bored (it is a learning machine). When your brain is bored, you get depressed through lack of Serotonin and Dopamine and opt-out of everything else life has to offer.

Neglect your spirtual man and there’s a big hole in your life. An emptiness that you can’t quite put your finger on. You’ll try and fill it with all sorts of other things but nothing seems to satisfy.

Neglect your health and well-being and your body will, one day, sooner or later, quit entirely. Your brain tried to keep you not dead (that is it's job) but somehow you resisted that urge until it too gave up fighting you.

Neglect your family and or relationships and you will soon be alone. And humans are social animals. You have an innate desire to belong to a tribe, to matter to others.

We all need all of these engines and just like a vehicle engine, you need to keep it maintained properly.

The trouble is, everyone is fundamentally lazy. Or perhaps fairer to say that your brain is fundametally lazy. If there’s a “do nothing option”, your brain will take it because doing anything requires effort which burns scarce energy. So, if you do not deliberately attend to each of your engines, your brain will neglect them until something breaks.

If we’re going to burn fuel in these five areas, you're saying that we need to have a reason for doing so.

Each engine needs a driver or motivation for the brain to switch from it’s default “do nothing” to “do something” to get... whatever we intend to get.

So we need to tell our brain specifically what we intend to get once we do something. Then your brain is prepared to spend precious fuel in that area.

Why not set a simple Goal? Or even a SMART goal?

Goals are great, and SMART goal even better. However, Command Intent is usually more suited to changing situations (which is real life) and, very importantly, has an embedded purpose. This is what turns your brain on to motivation.

I've written extensively on why goal-setting matters - here for those wanting to know more.

Establishing Command Intent in each area Really Matters then?

Absolutely, noone climbs aboard a space rocket ready to launch into the heavens and then asks, “so where shall we go today?”

And noone replies, “I don’t know, let’s just start her up and go from there.”

No. Everytime there is a clear command intent for the mission and each and every engine has a very precise role in achieveing that intent to help the rocket ship and crew fulfil that mission.

What’s the difference between purpose, mission and intent?

We don’t have time here to delve into the difference between purpose and intent, suffice to say for now - your purpose is why you were born (it's your overall mission), your command intents are what you achieve along the journey to fulfill your purpose or mission in life.

Let’s get practical: How do you Establish Command Intent in each of these five Areas of Your Life?

Ask most people what they intend to achieve in their career (their career goal), for example, and you’ll probably get a vague answer about money, position, happiness level, and maybe a job title. Honestly, that’s about as useful as telling a blind footballer that the goal is at the end of the pitch.

“Which end?” you ask. And many other questions besides, not least is “how will you know when you have scored a goal?”

So we change the question…

Establishing a Command Intent for anything is simply a case of answering the question:

What does success look like?

And when I use the word “look” - I mean all your senses (look, feel, taste, smell, sound). And be as specific as you can be.

And, when we’re asking what does it “look like” - we mean literally what do (will) you see with your eyes in reality and in as much detail as you can.

Repeat with feel (emotions AND touch), smell (the most evocative and immediate of your senses), taste and sound.

And if it’s not evident in your answers: “How will you know that you have acheived it?” (i.e. how will you measure your acheivements?)

Ask, what will you Win or gain (and lose) when you have achieved it? (This is the embedded purpose).

And lastly, “by when?”

Now that you have a very rich, sensory description, you will have a captivating picture of your future.

And You Do this for all Five Areas of Your Life?

You’ll find it helpful and inspirational to have a clear command intent in all five areas of your life: Your work and career; your family and relationships; your spiritual life; your health and your personal development. Making sure that they support each other and are congruent. Miss one area and you risk struggling to steer your life purposefully forward.

You said, “by when?” - is this just for the long term future?

It’s best to have Command Intents for the short, medium and long term.

Most clients also find it helpful to establish these command intent’s in three time frames of short, medium and long term futures - whatever is short, medium or long term for you.

A little aside on future time frames - most teens struggle with a long term time frame of 10 years, as do most young adults. As we get older, it becomes easier to imagine further into the future.

What’s next?

If you lead a team, then you are responsible for identifying a worthy and compelling vision and articulating it to the team. People continually need to be shown the team's compass clearly and creatively so that their actions align, and they stay motivated with a captivating picture of their future.

In their book, “Made to Stick”, Chip and Dan Heath share help from the unit in charge of military simulations for NATO, the Combat Maneuver Training Center, who recommend that officers arrive at the Commander’s Intent by asking themselves this question. I’ve adjusted this for use with your personal intents:

“If I do nothing else tomorrow, I must . . . , so that . . .

Answer this question in each of your five key life areas and every day, you will have that often elusive, almost mythical: balance.

Where can you go to learn more now?

As an AdvantEdge Coaching client, we’ll help you fine tune your Rocket Ship for Life so that you have a crystal clear picture of the future you and what your success in each of these areas of your life look like and we’ll guide you on the path that will equip and empower you to achieve them. Apply for your complimentary AdvantEdge Discovery session today.

Or you can take up our 6-part Rocket Launch Coaching Program which is designed to help you Establish Your Command Intent in each of the five key areas of your life, then help you identify the core values, beliefs and habits to support your mission. You’ll be more equipped and empowered to achieve your purpose with a practical, systematic and proven approach to transforming your life and moving you closer to the future you. Apply for your complimentary AdvantEdge Discovery session today.

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This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.joyatwork.coach

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A change focused neuroscience approach for genuine results in your leadership, work and life that truly Empowers!
All AdvantEdge Coaching is based on our unique and powerful AdvantEDGE leadership development process based on Neuroscience Research in how people learn, change and develop: EDGE stands for Encourage, Develop, Guide and Empower.

It’s based on my post-grad research into effective management learning and development methods.

EDGE isn’t a silver bullet or a magic pill that gets instant results but based upon the latest neuroscience and social cognitive psychology research, EDGE is like a recipe for a pragmatic change focused approach to help clients realise genuine, sustainable results in leadership, work and life.

EDGE isn't only a model for coaching. You can use EDGE in any communication situation where you want to empower change or influence others.

We will use the EDGE development model in all our GuidePosts, and, as well as explaining the EDGE model we’ll also clarify two other critically important aspects that enable us to help you get those results: That is,

1. to clarify what coaching is (and what it is not!) and

2. how AdvantEDGE coaching truly empowers you to sustain your results.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.joyatwork.coach

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The Purpose of this AdvantEdge Guide is to help you make better, informed decisions as you consider coaching to develop yourself or your team and organisation. There’s a lot of very convincing marketing out there that coaching is a panacea for all that ails business and organisation. 

Your Payoff will be you can understand for yourself, if coaching is suitable for you, and what type or style of coaching might best suit your needs. You’ll also challenge some of the common assumptions that you may have been making.

The truth is, coaching is not for everybody, and there are very good reasons. Here’s the top 10 I hear from clients, in reverse order and coming in at number 10, but still a biggie:

For the Full AdvantEdge Guide, all the links mentioned in the podcast and easy access to the (free!) resources mentioned, please go to the AdvantEdge Coaching System Website here.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.joyatwork.coach

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It's not that there is this thing called the “Great Resignation” where an unprecedented 44% of people intend to quit their jobs this year. (58% in Singapore!)

It's not that there is a global problem for CEO’s and leaders of many organisations who want their staff back in the office and are finding that impossible. Some, like Elon Musk, even after threatening to fire them all.

And it's not really about greed for more money, though when you get approached and offered a 20% pay hike for crossing the street, it is a temptation.

It's not even that it's your best and brightest talent who are abandoning ship first. Even though they are the first to be hunted and poached.

It’s a lot more systemic than the headline numbers suggest. The devil, as they say, is in the details.

During covid we all learned to keep our distance from people because they might just be a tad toxic. We avoided buildings and gatherings and events and restaurants, all so we wouldn’t accidentally meet someone toxic.

After 2 plus years we’re tired of avoiding people. And yet, there's one place many still want to avoid going, and that's their workplace.

The underlying problem? It's considered a toxic workplace. And not because there's covid lurking in dark corners but because there are loud and proud managers who think that disrespecting staff is a motivational weapon, that inequity is unavoidable and diversity is a fad. They seem to think that inclusion is exclusive and ethics are a matter of political expediency.

If your talent are quitting for more pay, it's because someone else is willing to pay them more and dangling a glimmer of hope that this new place won't be toxic, or at least, not as toxic as the current place.

But there is something that leaders and managers can do. And if you want to plug your talent drain, you might want to listen up to this AdvantEdge guide:

READ THE FULL GUIDE HERE

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.joyatwork.coach

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Imagine that your needs are like a discharged battery that you are able to charge through your life activities.

When the bottom cell is sufficiently filled, the next cell can be charged. All human beings have 6 essential needs, or power cells.

Though, some people have faulty power packs - with a corrupted sixth cell that has been taken over by a leaky fifth cell. That is, they care less about other people because their self-esteem is so overfilled they hold others in total contempt - because they matter less than me!

Beware overfilling any one cell: Gluttony and Obesity with an overfilled Cell 1, Excessive risk taking for Cell 2.

And many have a leaky battery, where their own needs never get filled.

What does this mean for you as a Leader?

Every leader needs to understand:

1. Your own needs need to be met BEFORE you have enough to give others, and

2. Whilst things may look OK on the surface - people tend to hide their emotional needs fearing that they are the only ones who have them.

By this, you’ll be better able to ask the right questions and better positioned to serve others and help them fulfil their real needs.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.joyatwork.coach

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This is Part 3 of a four part series asking the question: "Are you In Control" or "Controlling"?

In this edition os the AdvantEdge Joy@Work Podcast, we're learning how wee can break free from the "Controlling" cycle and get "In Control".

Stress, worry, and perfromance anxiety can be crippling your life. It's not always easy to break free of the spiral of anxiety but there is a simple solution for most people that does not involve medication or therapy.

It's so shockingly simple that many people scoff at the idea. But the thing is, it works. It's how your brain works and this is a simple technique that you can employ immediately to break your brain out of the Controlling cycle and give your Frontal Lobes a chance to oput the breaks on and stop your stinkin' thinkin.

When you understand what is happening in your brain you'll see why it works, and, I absolutely guarantee, you can do this. This is not like getting your body fit by going to the gym 6 times a week or training to run a marathon. It's even easier than going to the toilet and takes about the same amount of time. In fact, you can even do this whilst doing your toilet business. In fact, that's a particularly excellent time to practice.

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This is Part 2 of a four part series asking the question: Are you In Control or Controlling?

In this guide, we are digging into the roots and what is happening in our brain when we enter the Controlling Cycle.

We'll learn what happens inside our brain when we face a challenge and how your unconscious mind immediately reacts to this challenge as a threat - triggering your freeze, flight or fight response.

We'll learn how our brain then shifts the challenge into worrying and anxiety UNLESS your frontal lobes put the brakes on and you choose to be In Control rather than attempt to fruitlessly control others or the outside world.

We'll learn that EVERYONE on the planet faces the same choices every single day and we'll learn how worrying gives us the illusion of control making us feel good about worrying - as if it ever did us any good.

We'll learn why the Pre Frontal Cortex struggles to intervene and shout down the worrying cycle.

See the previous episode for Part 1 if you have yet to do so. And remember to subscribe on your preferred platfrom and please rate this episode, it helps others find it and learn too.

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This is the first of a four part series asking the question: Are you In Control or Controlling? Listen or watch or read now to understand what triggers your stress and anxiety so that you can then learn how to be In Control and a master of your emotions.

Everyone experiences stress and performance anxiety. Nobody likes it, and some people suffer terribly from it. Some stress is necessary for our survival. As cave dwellers, stress and anxiety caused by external threats were excellent drivers of survival behaviours. The trouble is, in the modern world, from your brain's perspective, there are many more perceived threats and the pace of life doesn't allow sufficient downtime between "threats" to recover perspective and get yourself back to a place of choice: whether you are going to remain in control, or be controlling of people or things in the world outside.

In this four part guide we're discussing that fundamental question: Are you In Control or Controlling?

This First Part we are finding the roots of everyday stress and performance anxiety according to behavioural Neuroscience. We begin with an important understanding of Locus of Control and its implications for your brain. We'll discuss why choosing to be In Control or Controlling is critical and how you respond to the many and varied challenges and obstacles you face every day

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Double Blessings to you this new year.

Ask what they want from the coming new year and most people are seeking to be happy and successful in the year ahead. We see the new year as a fresh start where we can put the past behind us and move ahead.

Sadly, most people never achieve happiness or success and, in large part, that’s down to the way we set goals and commit to new year’s “resolutions”.

The problem is a lack of motivation and a lack of balanced prioritisation.

Resolutions tend to be negative shifts of behaviour that we “should” do for our own good. Things like: get fit, lose weight, quit smoking, quit drinking, be kind to everyone, stop complaining. All things that our flesh just screams to keep on doing because we don’t like change - or at least our brain does not like change - and your brain was getting something it liked from the “bad habits” of last year. Your brain would rather “do nothing” than “do something, anything, taxing”.

And those new goals, we try but they tend to throw us even more off balance than we were already. What we need is to re-consider goals across all key aspects of our life. And those goals need to have an embedded, motivational purpose - our reason for achieving them, our “why” I should put in all this effort. Without which, our brain quickly defaults back to its preference of “do nothing”!

We need a crystal clear, compelling picture of our future and what success looks like in each of the key areas of life. What is called a “Command Intent” and we need one or more for each of our five key life engines.

Listen, watch or read the podcast now - it’s in a new format which we hope you like. It’ll be 15 minutes very well spent.

I hope that you enjoyed a joyful festive season and you are ready for the excellent challenges that 2022 may bring.

Be blessed - and remember - let us know what you think of the new podcast format.

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Welcome to the AdvantEdge Joy@Work podcast with me, Dr. John Kenworthy. In this guide to developing your five essential qualities of expert hybrid leadership: we're learning why your attitude to hope and how you communicate it, determines how your days and those for your team will unfold. Welcome to Hope and Mirrors.  

In this episode of the AdvantEdge Joy@Work podcast, we're looking forward to a future in hope and expectation of something new and exciting in the days ahead. And how you can choose to be the leader who inspires hope for yourself, and for others.

Full episode and show transcript here: https://joyatwork.coach/hope-and-mirrors

The choice is yours. I stick to my favorite verse to start every day from Psalm 118, Verse 24, in the New King James Version.  This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.  

All the faces in the world are mirrors. What kind of reflections do you see in the faces of the people you meet? What kind of reflections do you want to see?  

To learn more about AdvantEdge Coaching so that you can have Joy@Work and your team becomes United in Trust and Collaboration. Contact us through the link on the show notes and arrange a complimentary, confidential, no obligation Discovery Session. https://joyatwork.coach/apply

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Collaboration is when an effective team harnesses the best out of individuals working together and appears to be disarmingly simple:

“to work with another person or group in order to achieve or do something”

But everyone in the team comes with their own personality, their culture and way of doing things and their own competitiveness, their fears, their concerns and their needs. For successful and fruitful collaboration, the leader needs to help the team be actively engaged in what they are doing, and that they trust one another by setting the groundwork to build a solid foundation and then maintaining it rigorously.

Many thousands of leaders have failed to create team unity, trust and engagement through team building courses and enforced jollity of casual Friday or a virtual happy hour. But the buzz from that ropes course wears thin after a few days when your brain recognises that what it wants and needs is still missing.

How do we fix that? Well, before we get to that let’s check in on what your brain really wants and needs:

What Your Brain Wants and Needs:

Fortunately, we know that every human being shares a fundamental need for three things in life:

1. The need to feel safe
2. The need to belong to a group or tribe, and
3. The need to believe that they and what they do, matters

Getting a team to be actively engaged, to trust each other and collaborate takes plenty of leadership time and effort - so why would you destroy it before it has a chance?

Purpose

In this guide we’ll understand how to build and maintain the critical foundation's of Safety, Belonging and Mattering by Listening Deeply so that the team can trust each other and, with clarity of their own purpose and direction, be actively engaged and collaborate to achieve the desired results.

Process

We'll look Pat Lencioni's famous work on the five dysfunctions of a team and see how further research shows that Safety, Belonging and Mattering are crucial to your brain and thus to your ability to trust and collaborate. We'll then look at how listening deeply is the ONE missing ingredient that all leaders can do and use to help build the foundations and hence, ultimately, get the results they desire.

Payoff

When you start to listen deeply you will begin to dismantle any climate of fear or the lack of safety felt in too many organisations. Team members will learn that they can speak up and help the leader build and maintain the edifying climate to guide themselves and other team members towards effective trust and collaboration.

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Have you ever sat in a presentation and successfully listened to everything that the speaker shared, remembered what was essential and acted on the information whilst simultaneously fielding emails, carrying out a chat message and planning lunch and all before a really important client meeting. OK, now in this very short space of time, what do you remember? Not a lot huh? You just experienced cognitive overload. And that was just thinking about those 5 things happening in theory. "That went right over my head! Cognitive overload is more common than you might realise. Cognitive overload occurs when your brain is being tasked with too many things at once or you are trying to process too much information. It happens when you use too much mental effort in your brains working memory to continue effective processing. You may well feel that the words flew over your head. You stopped taking any more information in and tried to clear the backlog. It is also remarkably common. A leader does a data dump of the facts and figures for the quarterly report, a manager relates every little detail of a problem and the presenter rushes through the material either because their time has been reduced or they've taken too long over the early part. Specifically, what does your audience need to know? And I do mean need as an absolute New and Knew One way to help your audience understand is to relate something that they already do know with the new information that you are sharing. New information triggers curiosity, which is something you want to do. But if everything is new, you'll trip over the edge of curiosity into anxiety. And anxiety is something we don't want. Filling your presentation with all things new is like opening photoshop for the first time and being presented with all 300 icons on the taskbar. Or like visiting a strange city for the first time. It's overwhelming. Sure, you'll find your way around eventually, but it takes time. You see what I did there? I related the situation (new knowledge for you) to something that you know already - either you'll know about photoshop and the vast number of icons or you'll have experienced visiting a strange city. And even if not exactly aligned with your knowledge, the two examples provide adequate common experience for you to relate to, or imagine. And that's just what you need to do with new information. Align it with something your audience knows already by using examples, metaphors or analogies. And remember, you only want to include new information if it is something that your audience needs to know. It is not so that you can show how knowledgable and brilliant you are. On top of this, your audience is likely to find 90% of your presentation as forgetable. So what do you really want them to remember? Your 10% Dr Carmen Simon, author of Impossible to Ignore, a neuroscientist and expert in making your content memorable, shares some bad news that your audience typically remembers just 10% of your presentation content. Worse news is the 10% remembered by one person differs from the 10% another person remembers. The 10% that you really want them to remember needs to be identified and then you are going to take control of what they remember. You can do that by noting: - What you want your audience to remember - 3 or 4 points, and - What you want your audience to do (your Product or call to action) Now we are clear what our audience knows already, making certain that we recognise our own curse of knowledge and taking care with our assumptions. We are also clear about what they need to know, avoiding cognitive overload, aligning the new with the knew and identifying the 10% of our content that is essential. But do they care at all? We need to understand the audience's opinion. Let's wrap here for now and prepare you for the next part: Opinion. In the next section we'll talk about Opinion and then get deep into the Who of your audience. We'll consider their power and interest, how they might resist, a

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What do they Know? Let's start with asking what do your audience already know about you and your topic? There are two extreme dangers here: 1. Assumptions and 2. The Curse of Knowledge You see I carry a curse. A curse of knowledge. Just as you do: The Curse of Knowledge! I attended a networking event recently where someone was sharing about Bitcoin.

"Bitcoin is a type of digital currency in which encryption techniques are used in a blockchain to regulate the generation of units of currency and verify the transfer of funds, operating independently of a central bank."

Yes, but what is it? I don't fully understand Bitcoin. I don't get how you "mine" them and I don't appreciate how they can be worth more than $10,000. And I'm a geek! I feel utterly stupid when someone who does know, speaks down to me as if I really should know and it turns into a crushing sense of hopelessness.And that's not a great place for your audience to be. jill and colleagues peering into empty skull.png When someone assumes that you should know something and you just do not. They look at you as if peering into your emptyheadedness with disdain. Sure, I'm biased and think of Bitcoin as eTulips and a bubble that will hurt a lot of innocent people, but I'll come back to bias when we discuss the audience Opinion. I know quite a lot. But I don't know Bitcoin, Blockchain, Etherium and now I've heard that there's one based on organic bananas. My knowledge may be similar or utterly different to your own. You have your jargon, and I have mine. The only time we have a real problem is when my jargon makes no sense to you. When I assume that something I know is common knowledge. Tappers and Listeners Here's a terrific little experiment that you can do later today with a friend or family member to truly understand the curse of knowledge. Firstly I shall tap out a very well known song - this of course only works well if you are listening to the podcast, if you're reading this, it doesn't work :-) I'll tap out this well known song and you guess what it is.   Easy right? Wrong. If you were to ask someone to do this and estimate how quickly people would guess the song title correctly, you might guess at the commonly agreed 20 or 30 seconds. And the real answer is that roughly one person in 20 will guess correctly and that after 3 repeats. - and those are usually "lucky guesses". So, you try this with a friend or colleague. Tap out "Happy Birthday". Oh, well now, of course, you recognise the tapping. It's easy now. Because now, the tune is humming in your head AND you hear the tapping in time. Previously, you only heard tapping. The problem is that I cannot unknow what I know - it is humming along in my head as I share. I cannot remember what it is like to not know what I know. And of course, I think what I know is easy. It would have to be easy if I know it. But maybe, just maybe, it is not as easy or obvious as I think that it is. Just like Happy Birthday ain't so obvious when all you hear are tap tap tap tap tap tap. (Interesting by the way, now that you know that it is Happy Birthday, you heard it immediately!) And when someone does not know something (especially something that colleagues appear to know), they may feel intimidated and that may just shut down their attention and choose the ostrich manoeveur, or worse, they may get defensive and disrupt your presentation by heckling.

To avoid making bad assumptions and the curse of knowledge, you must find out what your audience already knows. And a terrific way to do that is to ask questions.

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If there's one complaint I hear about a leader’s skills from their boss or their HR, it's that they don't adjust their communication for their audience. And yet those leaders genuinely believe that they do adjust for their audience. So who is right? Well, they're both correct of course. The presenter thinks they are adjusting but they don't really KNOW their audience. What about the audience themselves? What do they think? Sadly the audience don't have an opinion because they stopped paying attention and moved onto other, more exciting things like thinking about lunch or updating Facebook. To capture their attention and motivate them to act, you have to get to KNOW your audience If you want to capture the attention of your audience and take some sort of action as a result of your Communication , you need to get to KNOW your audience and present to them as if it were tailored exclusively and entirely just for them. Because you will have done just that. Below, I share how you get to KNOW your audience so that you capture their attention and motivate them to do the things that you want them to do. You can take it one step at a time But first, let me introduce you to a oft-practiced technique that is guaranteed to do the opposite of knowing and engaging your audience: The Ostrich Manoeuvre Politicians are especially good at this manoeuvre. Be sure to look down at your notes most of the time and read the speech prepared by some flunky in a monotone. Remember to look up at any random audience member and plaster a fake smile on your face. I am really an introverted person. Maybe you don't believe that because you've seen me run a workshop or speak at a conference. But when I first started out, I was terrified that I was going to look like an idiot, that I would forget my words, lose track and generally do a terrible job. So I adopted what I call the Ostrich Manoeveur, a technique that essentially guaranteed that I would successfully look like an idiot, forget my words, lose track and do a terrible job. The Ostrich Manoeuvre is a favourite of insincere politicians and leaders, frequently seen in after-dinner speeches and boardrooms. It is very easy 2 step process and it is guaranteed to make you look really bad. 1. First, please make sure that you stand behind a podium and place your written script on it. If there is no podium available, then turn your back to the audience and read your slides instead. 2. Step 2 is read your script, preferably in a monotone and rarely, if ever, make eye contact with your audience. This works brilliantly well to show your audience that you do not know your content well enough. That you don't practice because the audience doesn't deserve your effort. And it shows the audience that you could care less who they are, what matters to them or even if you are in the right venue. You will have seen someone using the Ostrich Manoeveur as long ago as yesterday. Perhaps you used it yourself. I understand, I much preferred to read a script than dare look at the audience and witness the devastating effect my appalling presentation was having on them. The better you KNOW your audience the better you can engage them If instead, you would like to engage your audience and make an impact then it will greatly help if you KNOW your audience, that is: be able to fully answer four key questions: 1. What and how much do the Know already? 2. What do they Need to know? 3. What is their Opinion? 4. And, Who are they?

You'll notice that the keywords here make up the KNOW acronym: Know, Need, Opinion and Who.

Easy to remember.

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“There are no such things as wrong turns, Only paths we never knew we were supposed to take.” Proverb AdvantEdge Coaching is about change “Change is the only constant” goes the refrain. There would be little need for coaching, training, mentoring, counselling or any development if people were happy to stay the same as they are now. Being coached by someone is all about being empowered, equipped and enabled to change. Coaching empowers people to find new jobs, work through transitions, enhance performance, build better relationships, make wise decisions, transform organisations and reach new spiritual levels. Coaching is about establishing a vision of the future and reaching goals. When coaching is successful, it’s about bringing and maintaining change. But coaching is more. We also help people determine what needs to stay the same in times of constant flux. We encourage our clients to stake out their core values, established strengths, basic beliefs, ethical principles and lasting relationships that remain firm and provide an anchor to their lives. Coaches are both change agents and constant agents. Coaches help people see what needs to change and what needs to remain constant.   Change is difficult!   Let’s start by recognising the obvious: change is difficult. Going on a journey with people through change can be challenging and exhausting. Bringing sustainable change is even harder. Most people resist change even when they see the need and believe it can occur. The owner of the first hotel I managed was just 40 when he suffered a heart attack. His lifestyle, booze, food and a lack of regular exercise were contributory factors but prior to the heart attack, there were no significant symptoms. Life was good, then BAM! He was on the floor in agony. He survived. His doctor told him bluntly that he had to change his diet, give up alcohol, smoking and take up regular exercise. Change or die! A stark choice. And one that many people face. Initially, my boss came out of hospital ready and eager to take this advice seriously and changed everything that was harming his health. It wasn’t easy for him, but he stuck with it and now enjoys a slim, healthy life retired and sailing around the Mediterranean. Yet, in the US alone, some 90% of heart bypass patients can’t change their lifestyles, even at the risk of dying. It’s not surprising then that changing people’s behaviour in business is a challenge.   How people face change   People respond to change typically in four different ways depending on their personalities and past experiences: - Innovators – who value change and often try to make it happen. - Embracers – who thrive on change and accept it with enthusiasm, sometimes without thinking too much about it. - Acceptors – who initially resist change but eventually go along with it because there is no alternative. - Resisters – who may not even notice the change, deliberately ignore it or be so overwhelmed that they push it out of their awareness. Some even deny any need for change and refuse to budge an inch. People usually lean towards one of these responses. There’s some excellent news, though: simply because you are reading this, you are likely to be an innovator or embracer. If you are reading this reluctantly, you’re an acceptor. And those who aren’t reading this well, they’re the resisters (but, of course, they won’t know that because they didn’t read it!).

joyatwork #trivia

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Potential is much more than just knowledge or the ability to score well in exams. In this guide we’ll consider what are the components of potential so that we can distinguish between them and choose to develop those that will provide you the greatest chance of succeeding in your endeavours.

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In this guide we’ll consider how critical it is to make a good choice in response to the many varied challenges we face every day. How easily we can get trapped by “Effect” and the two enemies of our mind into a spiral of anxiety and fear or be at “Cause” for ourselves and our life.

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I’m going to explain how performance is unleashed using the AdvantEdge Potential to Performance System model. Performance happens when three things are aligned at the same moment: Your Potential, Your Drive and a Trigger. The Model You can visualise this model has two dimensions. The Vertical axis is your level of Drive to perform an action, and it can range anywhere from high drive to no drive. The horizontal axis is your Potential to perform an action. Also a continuum. On the right side is high potential making this action easy to perform. On the left side of this axis is low Potential or hard to do. Consider a simple example. Suppose you want someone to donate money to a Stray Dog Shelter. If they have high drive and it is easy for that person to do, they will be in the upper right corner of the model. When a person is triggered here to donate, they will donate. They are in the productive zone. On the other hand, if someone has low drive to donate to the Stray Dogs, and if it’s hard for them to do, they will be in the lower-left corner. When triggered, that person will not perform the action. They are in the procrastination zone. The Action Line There is a relationship between drive and potential. This curved line is called the Action Line. If someone is anywhere above the action line when triggered, they will perform the action. They are in the Productive zone. In this example, they will donate to the Dog Shelter. However, if they are anywhere below the Action Line when triggered, they will not perform the action. They remain in the Procrastination zone. If someone is below the Action Line, we need to get them above it for the Trigger to initiate action. Either, we need an increase in Drive, or the action needs to be easier to perform, or both. In Summary This models applies to all human performance. When Drive, Potential and a Trigger come together at the same moment, that’s when performance will occur. If any of the three elements is lacking, then the performance will not happen.

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Organisations want an AI that you feed 100 resumes and it spits out the top 5 candidates, without bias. But what's it like to be rejected by a computer? Current Recruitment AIs are being built on flawed systems and processes that favoured white, male candidates and HR seem surprised when the AI joins the same party.

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This guide will clarify the history and etymology of Talent from its Biblical roots and why this matters in modern business. This will enable you to be crystal clear about talent, skills, strengths and potential and form the basis of how we unlock and leverage talent to unstuck potential and develop the skills you need to thrive.

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The world is filled with fear and trepidation about the future. Staff are concerned for their jobs and what the future holds for them. World leaders have proven themselves to be uninspirational through being indecisive, divisive and destructive. So staff are looking for a leader who will inspire them and lead them forward into the future. This guide aims to help you be that leader.

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Trust is about how we deal with uncertainty. Even when I have proven myself trustworthy to you time and time again, over many years, there is always a remnant of uncertainty. Heck you aren't even completely certain that you can trust yourself! Our ability to choose to trust another person is an emotionally driven choice. Paul Zac's neuroscience research into what makes trust in the brain clearly demonstrates that the neurochemical oxytocin is a precursor to trust by the conscious, deliberate actions.

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Trust has flat-lined in recent months, thanks largely to the lack of physical interaction. Plus the small detail that this pandemic has massively damaged the global economy threatening jobs and business survival. And without trust, there's no chance of collaboration (in spite of all the wonderful tools to support it) even though we need to do so now more than ever if we are to rebuild our businesses, the economy and lives. In this edition, we'll consider why our brains have decided not to trust others and what leaders can do to rebuild the essential foundations that make trust, and hence collaboration, truly possible.

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You only learn when you review and reflect on your failures and successes. Journaling is the single, most powerful, easiest means of ensuring that you develop your leadership daily.

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Over the past 30 plus years, I've worked with a lot of leaders, and the biases I've seen most in action can undermine your potential career as a leader and sabotage your success. They were all useful for you at some point along the way, but many have outlived that usefulness and could do with an overhaul and a serious upgrade.

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How can leaders get better at their Virtual Leadership using Neuroscience hacks? Live interview with Roberto Bendana of Leadership Link

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Long ago in a small, far away village, there was place known as the House of 1000 Mirrors. A small, happy little dog learned of this place and decided to visit. When he arrived, he bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house. He looked through the doorway with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging as fast as it could. To his great surprise, he found himself staring at 1000 other happy little dogs with their tails wagging just as fast as his. He smiled a great smile, and was answered with 1000 great smiles just as warm and friendly. As he left the House, he thought to himself, "This is a wonderful place. I will come back and visit it often." In this same village, another little dog, who was not quite as happy as the first one, decided to visit the house. He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door. When he saw the 1000 unfriendly looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to himself, "That is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again." All the faces in the world are mirrors. What kind of reflections do you see in the faces of the people you meet? Japanese Folktale

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Encourage Two Mindsets When I first started training and coaching more than 30 years ago I found that there were two distinct types of client or participant: Those who were motivated and eager to learn, did so and enjoyed great results, and became more successful, and Those who believed that they didn't need to be there. They knew everything they needed and were pretty much brilliant at everything. They were unmotivated to learn and gained little, if anything, from their limited interaction and went off to be just as excellent as they always believed they had been. I blamed myself about the second group, of course. Somehow, I wasn't getting through, but try as I may, somehow I couldn't find a way to get them to learn. Then I read Carol Dweck's excellent book on Mindset and my lightening fast brain ignited with insight: In every group of people there are two base mindsets, those who have what Dweck calls a Growth mindset and those who have a predominantly Fixed Mindset. Develop Your mindset is a set of beliefs that you hold about yourself: your intelligence, your talents and your personality. And I'd like you to take a moment to pause and think here: Do you believe that these qualities are pretty well fixed traits, carved in stone by your DNA or at least by the time you reach late childhood? Or, do you believe that these qualities are things that can be developed and changed through dedication and effort? If you are more inclined to the first belief, you believe that your traits are a given. You have a certain amount of brains and talent and nothing can change that. If you are more inclined to the second belief, you see these qualities as things that can be developed through your dedication and effort. Now, I'm going out on a limb here, but I suspect that you are more inclined to the second belief. After all, why would you be reading or listening to something deliberately designed to help you learn and grow if you were of a fixed mindset? If I'm wrong, fantastic, and please let me know, because I too want to learn, understand and grow. Guide Let’s first take a look at the Growth Mindset: Individuals who hold the Growth Mindset believe that intelligence can be and is developed, that the brain is like a muscle that can be trained. With this belief is the desire to improve. To improve, firstly you embrace challenges because you know that overcoming challenges makes you stronger. No matter what you decide to do, there will be obstacles. For the Growth Mindset believer, external setbacks do not discourage you. Your self-esteem and self-image are not tied to how you look to others or your success. You see failure as the best opportunity to learn. Thus, either way, you win. You don’t see the effort as something useless to be avoided but as necessary to grow and master useful skills. No-one truly enjoys criticism or negative feedback, but the Growth Mindset individual integrates feedback that has genuine worth as an opportunity to change and learn. Negative feedback is not seen as a personal attack, but for what it is; feedback. The success of others is seen as a source of inspiration and information. To Growth Mindset individuals, success is not seen as a zero-sum game. Growth Mindset individuals will improve because of this, and this creates positive feedback loops that encourage them to keep learning, growing and improving. Fixed Mindset Let’s have a look at the Fixed Mindset side: Those who hold these beliefs think that “they are the way they are.” This doesn’t mean that they have any less desire for a positive self-image than anyone else, and they do want to perform well and look smart. But, to achieve these goals… The challenge is hard and success is not assured, so rather than risk failing and negatively impacting their self-image, they will often avoid challenges and stick to what they know they can do well. Obstacles face everyone, but the difference with the Fixed Mindset in

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The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all. Ecc 9:11 NIV "They really should..." begins another tirade of disgust at the ineptitude of the leadership to fix the problems. "Why they can't..." interjects the thought of an easy fix that "anyone with an ounce of real experience would have known from the start". "Why doesn't somebody do something?" "Why doesn't God do something about this?" And then, if you quiet your mind for just one moment, you'll hear him say "I did. I created you!" And He gave you choice: You can react to whatever the world, your boss, the economy, a pandemic throws at you, or you can choose to take action to overcome the obstacles in front of you. It's easier to react, like a thermometer, and blame others for the tragedies that befall you. It requires a lot less energy. But you won't be happy with the results, until you choose to be like a thermostat, someone at cause for their life. Purpose Here we're going to understand why it's easy to fall into a survival thinking mode and live a less than fulfilled life and how you can break that cycle and choose to be at cause for your life and actions. Process We'll discuss the two thinking modes and how you can shift yourself from being the victim of survival mode to being at cause and creating your future. Payoff It's not that one cycle is better than another, it's realising that we have a choice and that most people, most of the time, are at effect because they don't make a deliberate choice to take charge. Are you at Cause or Effect? Life happens. "Life happens whilst you're making other plans." John Lennon. Most people, most of the time, just allow life to happen to them. They react to whatever the day brings. They are happy when their happenings are conducive to their happiness, otherwise they are unhappy. They may have a plan, but they are easily blown off course and, unless the winds of chance so happen to return them back, off course they remain. This is completely understandable behaviour for your brain. Unconsciously, your brain is always scanning the environment for threats and changes and reacting to them with little, if any, requirement for energy expensive conscious processing. If you make a deliberate choice to pre-empt environmental circumstances and choose to take action - that is conscious, executive brain processing - which is energy expensive. The downside of allowing your brain to be lazy is that you are essentially allowing other people to choose your circumstances and hence your life. Of course, this might be utterly wonderful - hopefully you had a happy and splendid childhood and everything went swimmingly. Perhaps you are blessed with an incredible boss who gently nudges you to do what is essential, pays you extravagantly well and expects little in return. You have a choice. A very simple choice: To be a thermostat or a thermometer. You can choose to create your future, or you can accept the one that you get. Every moment of every day, you make a choice. If you are in a survival mode, that is you're just trying to get by and survive, the chances are that you will react to a new situation. You will then face an obstacle in your path. And you get another choice, this time you can choose to avoid the obstacle or address it. Avoidance of obstacles leads you to adapt and change yourself thanks to the obstacle that someone else put in your way. And you will get undesired results. Which results in disappointment and reinforces your survival vision to just try and get by for another day. On the other hand, when you have a creative vision you choose to take action. Sure, the same obstacles lie in your path but this time, you are going to address the problem and experiment until you find a desired solution and get the results you want. This means that you can, and should, celebrat

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Purpose: To equip you with purpose to lead and inspire your staff and to manage uncertainty with command intent, to emerge powerfully, ready for the new normal. Process: I'll explain how uncertainty causes stress because our brain craves certainty, purpose, and direction and lastly how you can be a different type of leader, the sort of leader who provides the very certainty, purpose and direction that will empower you to emerge stronger. Payoff: You'll learn how to energise your staff to continue in the face of difficulties. You'll know how to communicate certainty, direction and purpose and what success on the other side of the current difficult time looks like and how you and your now continuity energised staff will achieve it. Times of crisis demand a different type of leader where the only certain thing is that there is no certainty. Dr John Kenworthy Uncertainty causes stress, and we go into our "critter state" Your brain has a single primary concern: to keep you in the "not dead" state. That is its first and foremost function. It really doesn't matter how brilliant, rich or talented you are when you are in the "dead" state. When the world around us becomes even a little uncertain, your brain is marvellously designed to allow your older "critter brain" to take charge of survival. In a time of crisis, the "critter brain" rules the day until you deliberately choose to intervene. For leaders who haven't been close to a crisis before, managing during such times can feel thrilling. Your brain triggers norepiphrene and adrenaline spikes as you make decisions and take action. You feel a sense of adding tangible value. The stress hormone, cortisol, steadily builds up in your body and pressures from the home front add to your anxiety. The longer you struggle, directionless through a crisis the more stress and anxiety builds up that could blow any second. Before long, more people look to you for decisions and direction as they begin to flounder trying to make sense of the latest information and like Sisyphus, you discover the boulder you are pushing uphill becomes less stable with each step. Leaders need to guide people towards the best possible outcome over time. Your focus is on what is likely to come next and preparing to meet it. You go beyond the immediate to anticipate the next three, four or five obstacles. At the same time you need to address the urgent needs of the business, making immediate choices and allocating resources quickly and decisively. On any normal day your "critter brain" is assessing the environment asking three questions: Am I safe? Do I belong? and Do I matter? This isn't a once in a while process, it is every minute of every single day. "Am I safe?" is simply checking your surroundings for threats. An "all is well" response allows your brain to relax for a brief moment and if this extends for some time, you will physically relax and your brain waves will slow down. When "Am I safe?" gets the answer: "No" then the amygdalae are brought swiftly into the action, the stress hormone norepinephrine production is triggered in your brain and your body produces adrenaline is ready for "freeze, flight or fight". If the threat is not judged to be imminent, the "Do I belong?" question may get out to check on the whereabouts of fellow tribe members. After all, who wants to face a ravenous wolf alone? If there is a wolf, the "Do I matter?" question probably doesn't even get a cursory glance. A crisis is, by definition, a time of intense stress, difficulty or danger. Even if you only experience it through a social media feed or a news bulletin. Our safety is being threatened in a crisis. And in times of difficulty or danger, we're usually better of with our tribe on our side. At least then we might stand a chance of survival, let alone emerging triumphant and ready for the post-crisis world. A great leader knows this and pulls and energises the team together towards a clear

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Have you ever wondered why change is so tough? Why is it, that with our very best intentions, we still find it difficult to make changes that we know would be good for us? Why is it so much more difficult to get other people to change and do the things that matter? Even when you have a crystal clear picture of what success looks like and you have tapped into the emotions, drives and values that motivate and there's still no action!!!!! How do you get started? You need the Power of the First Step. see the SWING exercise in my last episode if you don't have a clear picture of what success looks like. The Purpose You'll learn how to make change happen for yourself or for the people you lead. The Process The Power of the First Step is a purposeful leadership technique to create momentum. And just like any journey, we'll define your future desired end state and your current situation and using the most useful one of three variations of this technique that works for you, you will create momentum on your change journey. The Payoff You'll wake up in the morning and your problem is solved, or it is on its way to being solved. Way back in 1995, John P. Kotter shared: why change efforts fail in organisations. He talked about 8 distinct errors that prevent success from happening. But that was ages ago, surely we have learned and moved forward since the mid 90's? It seems not. 10 Reasons change efforts fail as described by Lee Colan in 2014. In 2017, Brent Gleeson posited that the 1 reason most change efforts fail is battle fatigue. Bill Pasmore at CCL highlights 4 reasons why you fail at change in 2016 If you have ever failed to change, you'll know all the reasons (aka excuses) why you failed. And that's perfectly OK. Unless you actually do want to change. The common factor through so much research is inertia. That is, the desire to stay the same. i.e. the desire to not change. Even if and when we are completely certain that change would result in a better situation for us. A situation we want. The truth is, we want the success without the pain. After 30 plus years of coaching and training leaders to change, I help my clients overcome their own inertia through the Power of the First Step. You can use this to get your own change started, or use it with your team to get them to start on their change journey. Often, during coaching, a client can understand and describe their future goal or outcome. They can describe their current situation. But, they struggle to know exactly what they need to do now. Sometimes, a client cannot "see" what they need to do. Others, state that they do not "know" what to do. What we are doing is scripting and directing the critical moves. to change you need a director - you be the director of your own movie There are three variations of this technique. I recommend that you start using the visual template (using pictures). If this is not working well, use the digital template (using a descriptive process). Or, you can ‘act’ this out. Imagine that you are the writer and director of a movie and you're creating a movie storyboard. Commence with the “Future” situation - the very last scene of the movie (this is a Hollywood movie with a happy ending by the way, not some Filme Noire or Pathe real life drama). This is what success looks like, and for aa detailed review on that, check out the SWING process I shared in an earlier episode here. The "Present" situation is the current situation - as with the "Future", you want specific sensory information about it. In this technique, you are creating a movie storyboard or script of the change you want from the movie’s very first scene (now) to the last scene (the future goal or outcome). You (and/or your team) is in the starring role, you are the central character of this movie. And, procrastination is the villain you are going to vanquish. The first step is the very first ‘action’ that this character takes in

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The Purpose To show you a way and give you the urge to inspire your kids, family and your work colleagues with a real and tangible hope that will lift their spirits and yours, and fill everyone with the urge to emerge stronger and ready to lead the world in the recovery so that you will see good days. The Process I'm going to share a powerful tool and neuroscience hack that you will easily use to bring absolute clarity to the future expectation of good you want to create and use to inspire others. The Payoff Your kids will want to do something creative, your family will look at you with newfound respect and admiration and your work colleagues will be eager and ready to listen, collaborate and be more productive. In times of difficulty or crisis, the trap for leaders is trying to control everything. And this applies as much to leading in your home as it does in the office. When your locus of control is hindered or even removed, when you feel even slightly that your own life is out of your control, your threat response fires up. Our favourite almond-shaped friends inside our brain, the amygdalae, take up the reins of your response with plenty of stress hormone production of cortisol and adrenaline. It's a never ending barrage of negative news and many people scoff at the notion of remaining optimistic in light of these "facts". The human brain is programmed to narrow your focus in the face of a threat. It's an in-built mechanism designed perfectly for self-protection. It means that your field of vision is restricted to what is immediately in front of you. Perfect for hunters in the Serrengeti and your cave dwelling ancestors. Pretty useful in the 21st century office and home, but unseeable threats lurking in the very air before you... not quite so useful. Leaders, whether at work or at home, need to intentionally pull back and take a broader view. Leaders need to look up and see a new future. A new future that is good and positive and filled with promise. We call it hope. And we could all use some hope right now. What we want is some real hope. Real hope is the positive expectation of good. It's not just wishful or fanciful thinking. It is something you believe will come to pass. Like everyone else, you want to have this positive expectation of good and I know it is difficult. And we all would like someone to stimulate this hope within us. We want someone, anyone to fill us with the urge or ability to feel something hopeful, something positive to rescue us from this pit of negativity and confinement and restriction. You can probably think of a small handful of leaders who truly inspire you with hope of a brighter future. Martin Luther King was pretty inspiring with his "I have a dream" speech. Winston Churchill inspired a generation to give their lives for freedom promising to "fight them on the beaches". And just recently, Queen Elizabeth 2nd ralleyed hope for an end to Covid 19 with "We will meet again." But it seems, inspirational leaders are few and far between. Yet, there's one in your household. There's an inspirational leader in your workplace. There's one who can inspire hope and rally people in your community. And that person is you. Yes, you. You have all that you need to inspire hope in others and hence for yourself. You might not believe it just yet, but give me half an hour of your time and you will. Working from home ain't what it's all cracked up to be Well, I actually think that it is, but then I've been doing this for many years. But I do recall how tough it was at the beginning. And now it's much more difficult. Now, your partner is at home also (or perhaps worse, if they are in essential services and escape every day) kids are at home too, either from school or university and even they are finding their phone and netflix is getting less exciting. We're confined in space, and there's a limited number of spaces to work, and bandwidth is a premium. Young kids especially, expect yo

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Purpose: Sharing neuroscience hacks to help you win the battle in your soul during this time of lockdowns, social distancing and a strange lack of toilet paper. Payoff: You'll regain control to and be able to encourage others so we can all emerge better, stronger and ready to reinvigorate our lives and the world. Encourage We're 3 months into this virus spreading its fear and anxiety across the globe. Different people in different places are in various stages of grief. We all started in full denial and several went into isolation immediately. Information was scare as no-one accepted responsibility and no-one wanted to be accountable. Experts were dumbfounded - only this time they actually admitted that they were dumbfounded. Some closed borders, others said it was premature. Some stopped flights, others continue to this day. Some said it is airborne and we all need masks, others said it was droplets and we needed to wash our hands. That period seemed to last forever, some would suggest that there's a couple of world leaders still there, which rather helped many tip over into the anger phase. The promises of no shortages triggered the exact opposite effect - after all, no sensible person trusts a politician at the best of times, and suddenly they were talking about the worst of times, but everything else was carrying on as usual? Toilet paper was the first surprising victim. Now, everything is in diminished supply. Some leaders started bargaining with the virus only to discover that it didn't come to negotiate but to infiltrate. It came to spread and reproduce and take out the weaker members - which unsurprisingly led many back into anger. Self-isolation measures began to take root and social distancing was no longer about focusing only on your phones and choosing to ignore others, now we were encouraged to avoid others. Churches shut their doors, Mosques and temples too. The misery continued as depression kicked in. The massive deaths in Italy made us all question what was really happening. Holidays cancelled - many with little prospect of a refund and , naturally, the insurance companies would claim exceptional circumstances. Slowly acceptance of quarantine, isolation, stay at home, the lost holidays, the lost income, the lost job, and yes, the lost toilet paper. We're all grieving. Grieving for a life that was, just a few short weeks ago, looking so promising. A new decade was dawning and there was hope in the very air. Well now the air is clean and clear. At least until China's factories ramp up to full production and poison our scarred lungs. Hope has faded for many, a few hold on tightly to the promises of God, who is, by the way, still on His throne. If we haven't personally lost someone dear to us, why are we grieving? We're grieving the loss of agency and control. Develop The little girl coughed as we descended in the lift. A deep, dry and loud cough. She didn't cover her mouth. I flinched. It was instinctual, my heart rate shot up and my body and brain flooded with adrenaline. I stopped breathing. I left the lift as the doors opened and realised I had stopped breathing. The fresh sun-soaked air was my welcome refuge. Humans everywhere are deeply concerned for their safety. We cannot not be. It's the Critter part of our brain. The part that houses and runs our emotions. A place where chemistry rules the roost and floods our brains and blood stream with chemical messengers to be afraid, to be very very afraid. Don't know what it is? Be afraid. Don't know what to do? Be afraid. Don't know what's happening? Be afraid. And this isn't a conscious "knowing". We have no experience or memory that helps guide us on the better course of action. We can quickly be so overwhelmed with emotions of fear and anxiety that we forget all else and forget to engage our thinking mind. It is going to help you to better understand how our body and soul - our mind, will and emotions operate and thus we feel as though we have no agency or contr

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My hands clammy, my shirt beginning to soak with perspiration in the air-conditioned room. I walked to the front of the meeting room past my muttering colleagues and got blinded momentarily by the projector; I faced my audience. Their faces raptly attentive as they waited for the first words to come.   The Purpose This AdvantEdge Guide hacks the neuro-psychology of influence to uncover the chemistry and maths used by our critter and executive brains respectively and learn how to leverage and use this understanding to yield the fruit of motivating people to do the things that matter. You'll be a better influencer and thus a better leader. The Process First, get your own EDGE by listening or reading to the guide and then ponder privately or with your buddy coach on the Empowering questions at the end of the guide. Every guide uses the EDGE development process: Encourage - trying something new or different is uncomfortable and challenging so what's in it for you? That'll be the Payoff below! Develop - your understanding and knowledge of the neuro-psychology research that supports this leadership hack. Guide - Specific actions for you to consider to put this into practice. Empower - One specific action for you to take away, together with templates when needed. Second, buddy up Take this guide further by buddying up with someone else. Use this as a mentoring tool that takes all the guesswork and myths out of a leadership development conversation. The Payoff You'll grow as a leader and influencer, they'll grow as a leader and together you'll achieve better results. If you're in sales, you'll sell more, more easily. If you're in tech or engineering, you'll get the support you need from colleagues and motivate those marketing and finance types to collaborate. This was my most important performance ever, and I was about to go down in flames... I noticed my boss as he glanced at his watch. A phone buzzed in silent mode on the table and all eyes were drawn toward it. Someone muttered an apology as he picked up the errant phone and read the message. I had spent weeks preparing for this meeting. We were about to introduce a new computer system across the entire business and everyone in the room would be affected. The only problem was that nobody wanted the new system. If only they would realise how beneficial it was going to be... I stumbled through my slides, gave them all the facts in laborious detail and outlined the plan. Still, nobody wanted the new system. I had failed to influence my colleagues to support the project So why had my long-prepared presentation failed to achieve the intended result? When we link the required resources to the goal through personal benefit - the fruit is motivation to change. That is, we influence the person to change.  Develop The answer lies in the Triangle of Influence   We are influenced EMOTIONALLY in our critter brain first. This has a lot to do with brain chemistry. Aristotle called this "Pathos". Then we are influenced RATIONALLY in our executive brain which essentially relies on maths. Aristotle referred to this as "Logos". When we are influenced to do something, we connect three things inside the brain: The goal (Command Intent) we will achieve The resources (Talents, Skills, Time and Money) achieving the goal costs, and The personal benefits (fulfilling Purpose and Values) that we get out of achieving the goal. The Critter Brain and The Chemistry of Motivation and Influence Any perception of cost in using my talents, my skills, my money or my time triggers a fear response. I might get protective (fight it), pretend I didn't hear it (freeze) or stop hearing anything else (flee). In large part it triggers the production of norepiphrene (better known as adrenaline). This is not good news for motivation.   But that doesn't mean that you can or should avoid being open about the cost of doing something. If you don't tell me, it's highly probable that my emotional memory will tag on a p

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I just returned from a long and exciting trip to Israel where I was reminded that even the very best of us face rejection and are criticised. Encourage It seems that it does not matter whether your intentions are to help and serve others. It doesn't matter if you are the kindest, gentlest, most loving and caring person the world has ever seen. You will face rejection. And you will probably face rejection by those you truly would think should be the tribe you can most trust, your own family, your own people. In fact, oftentimes, it's those closest to you whose rejection hurts the most. The chance of being rejected by someone used to be limited to our social and work circle and our dating pool. Nowadays, thanks largely to social media and technology, our posts, chats, profiles, pictures can all be easily ignored, disliked or flamed by a multitude of vague acquaintances. And rejection hurts deeply. Its wounds pierce our very soul and hit the core of our being. It has happened to you and it will happen again in the future, so how can we equip ourselves now to overcome rejection and soothe the sting of rejection? Develop it will greatly help to understand why rejection hurts and what is happening inside the brain. Before we dive into ways we can soothe our rejection, it will greatly help to understand why it hurts and what is happening inside the brain. When researchers placed volunteers in functional MRI machines asking them to recall a recent rejection, they found something astounding. When we experience rejection, the area that lights up on the fMRI is the same area activated when we experience physical pain. But social rejection is worse than stubbing your toe or even being punched in the face because physical pain diminishes over a short period of time. Research shows that even being rejected by a total stranger can simultaneously make you feel sad and angry. Indeed, your brain doesn't distinguish who or what is rejecting you, the same response applies. Whether it's someone in your own group or someone you don't relate to at all. Whether it's a human being or a computer rejecting you, being ostracised stings! Sadly, the greatest damage of rejection is self-inflicted. For most people, the natural response to being dumped by a dating partner or being the last person picked for a team is not to lick our wounds and get back on form but to become incredibly self-critical. We feel disgusted with ourselves, call ourselves names, lament how we are truly not worthy, and dwell on our shortcomings. This means that just at the moment when our self-esteem has taken a beating, we lay it on the ground and give it a good kicking ourselves. It's when that self-damaging refrain learned from a very young age that "I am not good enough" repeats it's toxic mantra. In the days of our long-ago ancestors, rejection served a vital function. Being ostracised from our tribe in our hunter/gatherer past was akin to a death sentence, as you would be unlikely to survive long alone. The same area (the anterior cingulate cortex) of the brain that is constantly on the watch for danger or change in the environment is the same place scanning for the social clues that might point towards a future rejection. It was so vitally important to continue to belong to a tribe that mimicking intense physical pain is a terrific way to get our attention. Those who paid attention early were more likely to correct their behaviour and remain in the tribe. It's all happening in the primitive part of our "critter" brain. As modern evolved human beings we did not, unfortunately, evolve a more reasoned response that would negate the need to gain our vivid attention. Rejection still has a way of destroying a person's life in a way that few other things can. And the number of people affected by rejection is staggering. Why do people face rejection or being ostracised by others? Few people who have rejected someone else can readily explain their reasoni

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Encourage  Are you tired of wasting time dealing with workplace drama and politiks? Perhaps you are crippled by toxic leaders and uninspired cultures and you know that there is a better way. In this episode we're going to introduce you to the triggers of exemplary workplace behaviour at the neurological level. And we'll tap into four of these triggers that will #UnLock performance and #UnLeash Team Power. By implementing these four you'll see higher productivity, well-being, retention and accountability. You'll see reduced absenteeism, less drama, the end of corrosive gossip and fewer accidents. Develop In Leading Difficult People, I shared with you about our deep seated human need for safety, belonging and mattering. The first two of those, safety and belonging are so primal to our personal engagement at work (or in life) that this time, I'm digging in a little more to the neuroscience that will allow us to create the ideal conditions for our teams to thrive. Human beings are social animals, we need some degree of social acceptance in our lives, and without it, we shrivel and die. Our limbic system is the mid part of our brain and is responsible for overseeing our emotional lives and is important in what we learn and commit to memory. You'll know about the amygdala, for example, the primary control centre for our freeze, fight , flight mode. That's housed in the Limbic system. Dr Jim Coan of the Virginia Affective Neuroscience Laboratory suggests that the limbic brain spends the entire day asking two questions: What's next? and How am I doing? And whilst these are broad generalisations, it's an incredibly helpful way for leaders who seek actionable models to improve engagement at work. How safe do you feel when you do not know what's coming next compared to how you feel when you do know what's coming next? Like most people, you'd probably feel less safe. When leaders become more predictable, consistent and transparent they become clear on what will happen next. When a leader seeks closer alignment around shared values, purpose and command intent - they are creating a consistent and predictable and participatory culture with immediate benefits to the limbic system. Our biological need to belong to a group or tribe drives the question: "How am I doing?" Our survival depends on the social resources of the group and so our limbic system is constantly assessing our membership status. "Am I in?" it asks. "Am I worthy? Do they see the value I add?" The limbic system doesn't ask this question once in a while; it asks every minute of every day! When a leader validates and recognises a team member, when they are acknowledged or appreciated, that isn't just some silly social gesture. It's a deeply important message direct to the recipients limbic system: "You have been noticed. You are seen and valued. You are safe. You are in." "And here's some useful feedback to help you stay safe and remain in the tribe." Don Rheem, author of Thrive by Design, says that answering these questions are behaving in a consistent and predictable manner and offering validation, recognition, and feedback. This makes team members (and others) feel safe and that they belong. He goes on to share four ways that leaders should focus their efforts to help their team members feel wanted, trusted and supported which in turn will improve retention, engagement and profits. Guide Neuroscience points us towards creating the ideal conditions that allow the brain to thrive and perform much closer to their potential. These conditions will help team members be more engaged, productive, healthier and happier in their work and workplace. Encourage trusted relationships and collaboration We thrive in a culture of trust, caring and collaboration. When our work tribe trusts each other and shares resources to support each other and the overall command intent, team members feel safer, feel that they belong and that what they do matters to the rest of their work tribe and the organ

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Encourage Even in the direst circumstances, people seek out their purpose in life: Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning 1 Human beings have a deep, innate desire to find meaning in their lives. We want to matter. For some, it is to leave a legacy, to put a ding in the universe, or to enjoy the satisfaction of a job well done. For others, it is about success, reputation or recognition. For many who have found their true meaning, they know it's about others and less about self. And yet for many many more, it is an unknown, idealised and unrealistic dream. Researchers have shown that meaningfulness is more important to employees than pay and rewards, promotions or even working conditions. 2 Work that is meaningful can be highly motivational, performance enhancing, satisfying and leads to greater commitment. 3 Yet, recently I was running a workshop with a group of millennials and I was unsurprised that not one of them had a clear purpose for their life, not even a career plan or really a semblance of any idea what they wanted let alone why they might have been put on this earth. My surprise was that this time, not one of them has put thought into it. Usually, one or two will tentatively raise their hands that they have some sort of idea or plan for their own future. And yet we hear so many stories that Millennials seek more from jobs than a salary. They are , apparently, greatly concerned about environmental issues, climate change, social injustice. And they want to be engaged at work- yet less than 30% are. And they seek personal life balance int heir work. So not so very different from Gen X'ers, Baby Boomers and Founding fathers. Develop I was given some pretty poor advice when I was young to pursue my passion in life. "Do what you love and you won't work another day in your life." Which is all well and good until you change your mind about what you are passionate about. Passion is self-serving, egotistical and selfish. It's for you alone. And it changes. For some people it changes over years, for others it changes in minutes. Most often, your passion tends to be associated with something you are good at doing. You love doing this. You enjoy it. I've met many an accountant who went into it in part due to parental expectations and bias, in other part that they were good at maths and liked earning and counting money. A few years later, the glisten of accounting can wear off and the feeling of something missing looms larger and larger. The dictionary can help us out here: Passion: a strong or powerful emotion This is not the same as being engaged with work: Engaged: to occupy the attention or efforts of (a person or persons): Though you could argue that your attention would be occupied by doing something that you are passionate about. Passion is good to put fire in your belly but as Ryan Holiday points out in his book, “Ego is the Enemy, ”Passion is for the amateurs" he says, and continues with, “passion is seen in those who can tell you in great detail who they intend to become and what their success will be like.” Though they haven’t gotten there, and might not even be on the right track. Ouch! If passion is the fire, then purpose is the fuel. It is "Why" you do what you do. It's "Why" you were born, "Why" you have the gifts and talents you have. Purpose: The object toward which one strives or for which something exists; an aim or goal: the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists As you search to make your work meaningful, it aligns with your purpose (and if you are truly blessed, aligns with your passion as well.) Research at MITSloan Management Review found five qualities of Meaningful work: Self-transcendent (it's not about you!) - your work aligns with your purpose or even is your purpose. We find meaning in work when our work matters more to others than to just ourselves. Abraham Maslow's original hierarchy had "Self-transcendence" at the apex Poignant (meaning doesn't always co

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What if you could feel truly appreciated and deeply satisfied every single day? What if you could experience a more joyful, appreciative and considerate workplace and it only costs you seven minutes of a day? In an earlier podcast I shared about the seven most important minutes of your day. Well, here's another hack for your Joyous delight and satisfaction that could be an additional 7 minutes, or instead. It's up to you just how much joy you want in your life. Well you can. Encourage I'm going to take a wild guess here that your work and your life has become more demanding. Furthermore, I can be pretty certain that you feel under-valued. I'll even dare to suggest that your pay is not the main issue in feeling under-valued, rather it's because it seems that no-one truly appreciates the value you deliver. Something deep inside our pysche screams out to be appreciated. When we're not appreciated, then our satisfaction with life, with our job, with ourselves, is diminished. You might have quit a job to take another with more salary in the belief that you would feel better. And for a while, that might have worked well enough. But after the honeymoon was over and the realities of everyday started to take their toll, even the extra money began to seem insufficient. The offer of a higher salary felt good because it aroused your anticipation of pleasure (increased dopamine in your brain making the offer attractive). But dopamine is short-lived in making us feel good - so we seek another dose, then another and another and then some more (not necessarily a good thing!). Sadly, the extra cash doesn't (ever) deliver the anticipated long-term happiness. What we're really after is some oxytocin and a dose of serotonin - we want to feel loved (or at least a sense of belonging to a trusted tribe) from the oxytocin and a sense of delighted satisfaction with the serotonin. And what better way to feel valued than someone else to appreciate you for your contribution? You feel more loved (appreciated) thanks to the oxytocin, and you'll feel more satisfied thanks to the serotonin produced when you are appreciated by someone else. So how do you get your boss, colleague, staff, partner, kids, parents, customer to appreciate you for well, anything at all? You could be giving the very best possible service, providing the very best of you and yet still it seems to go unnoticed. You could yell and scream and beg them to appreciate you. Throw a hissy fit and stomp off telling them that they don't deserve you. You could just suck it up and think that life is like that and people are unappreciative. You could try and stop being so wonderful and find out of they even notice. Or you could try something radical that actually works. Develop So, you've tried one or more of the tactics everyone uses at some point in their life to get the appreciation you so richly deserve to no avail. Or was it? It is possible that they did try to show you their appreciation. They just used the wrong language. And by language, I mean your language of appreciation. Dr Gary Chapman and Paul E. White wrote a wonderful book called the "5 Love Languages" that has impacted millions worldwide with their love and marriages. And they've written a version for work (because it seems that "love" is a bit too squishy and personal for the workplace) called the "5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace" on how to effectively communicate appreciation at work using the 5 languages that matter to people. Essentially, each of us feels appreciated in different ways. That is, we have different "languages of appreciation". Typically, we will use the language of appreciation that matters to ourself. If you have a different language of appreciation, my appreciation of you goes unnoticed. It's as if I am speaking perfect French and you only understand Chinese. Most, if not all that I speak will just be non-sense to you. Similarly, you speaking Chinese will make no sense to me. The five languages of a

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Encourage We've all had to deal with them. Perhaps you still are dealing with them? Difficult People. They come in all shapes and sizes. All races, all genders, and all backgrounds. They only share two things in common, but I'll come back to that in a little while. As a professional executive coach I occasionally get asked by organisation leaders if I can help them "fix" one of their more "difficult" or "problematic" team members. They see potential in this person but there's a problem in their style or approach that needs developing. Some of them are like Debbie Downer from Saturday Night Live: Always ready with a depressing take on everything being discussed. Some people only seem to be happy when they're unhappy and bringing everyone else down with them to the pit of despair. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfE93xON8jk Other jerks seem to get a kick out of creating problems for everyone else and pushing people's buttons. Needling away on their pet topic and with a keen eye for any signs of weakness in others. Then we have the bullies. Instead of pushing people's metaphorical buttons, they seem to get off on literally pushing people around, shouting the loudest, forcing others to do things they don't want to and worse. At least with the downers, the jerks and the bullies everyone knows who they are. But some of the most difficult people to lead are the timid and frightened. They can be so fearful of confrontation and conflict that they hide and disappear just when you need them. Or perhaps you have someone on your team who is so disorganised and yet desperate to succeed and never seems to make any headway? And then we have the cynics and scoffers who undermine everything with their often sarcastic wit and pointed barbs. Or perhaps your most difficult person is the gossip who spread rumours, half-truths and juicy tid-bits in hushed tones over "team lunches" turning everyone against you whilst to your face, oh they're as sweet as honey and in front of the boss... well you have to admire their front and acting skills. Yes, they come in all shapes and sizes, races, genders and from all backgrounds and they share two things in common: The first important thing they all have in common is that they are all "people". We are dealing here with human beings. And we know from neuroscience that human beings share very much more in common in what drives them and causes these behaviours. The second thing they have in common is you. If you're reading or listening to this, then you have one or more people in your life whom you find difficult, and you want to know how to lead them or simply deal with them. It's OK, you are in the right place. Before we head into the "how", we need a few moments to understand what is happening with these people. And for that we'll be turning to a little neuroscience. Develop I recently read a terrific book by Christine Comaford: ""Power Your Tribe". She also writes for Forbes and has built on Abram Maslow's hierarchy of needs showing the neurological drivers all humans share. And it's primal. Your brain knows two states that matter: Dead and not-dead. Your brain's primary job is to keep you in the "not dead" state. And you really don't care about leading difficult people when you are "dead". To keep you in the "not dead" state, your brain guides your body to satisfy your physiological needs first and foremost. You have to eat, drink, find shelter, and stay warm (or cool). If any of that is threatened by anyone or anything, your brain will guide you to protect it before "not dead" becomes "dead". Now that you are in the "not dead" state we have three more primal drivers of our behaviours: Safety, Belonging and Mattering. Only when these three are also satisfied to our brain's content do we consider "self-actualization" and doing things beyond the norm for ourselves. And we crave these three things: Safety, Belonging and Mattering. Some people may crave more of one than the others, but we all crave all thre

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Coaching a colleague, a team member or anyone you know well is a challenging situation. For example, a manager usually conducts the performance review for their staff focusing on their performance in the job and team which may lead to a recommendation about salary or promotions. A coach is focussed on developing the person in their job and life but does not normally, recommend salary or promotions. As a friend, you would be interested in the other persons well-being and their feelings. You might not push them hard or challenge them in fear of breaking the relationship. As a coach, you may be pushing your client hard, challenging them deeply to improve their performance. How to Be An Effective Buddy Coach By far the best way to find a great accountability partner is to be one for each other. Below are a few tips to help you in getting the most of out of your Success Journey: 1. Get off on the right foot When you first sit down with your buddy, we recommend that you mention a couple of things up front: Reiterate the fact that you’ll be taking a lot of notes throughout the process. Recognizing the awkwardness of having an intimate conversation while writing notes up front can help the process move forward smoothly. Remind them that the reason you’re taking notes is to be able to record key themes and ideas that are necessary for helping them forge success.   Take a few minutes to discuss confidentiality. As we mentioned, a lot of the information you hear may be very personal. Reassure the participant that the information they share with you will be confidential. 2. Leave your personal bias aside We often perceive people differently than they perceive themselves. The Success Journey belongs to the participant. They must be allowed to discover who they are, not who you think they are. The most effective buddies are able to gather and process information objectively, without adding personal bias. Avoid leading questions that will validate your perceptions. The participant should be doing the majority of the talking. Certain exercises may prompt your input or participation, which will aid in the process. However, for the most part do your best to simply collect, clarify and organize the information you receive so you can help identify the patterns and themes that lead to their own discovery. The most effective buddies don’t inflate their own ego (or yours) 3. Listen Listening is an active process. Maximize the retention of the information you hear by being engaged in the process and by taking notes, recording the process or even both. Don’t rely on your memory alone to recall the information you’ll need. To be an effective buddy, it’s important for you to understand the three different types of listening: Everyday listening is usually subjective, meaning that the listener is hearing things as it relates to him/her. The listener is generally thinking of what they are going to say next and often times can’t even remember what was said to them when asked to recall it just moments later. This is not the type of listening you’ll want to use throughout the Forging Success Journey. Listening is an active process. Like a good doctor, you’re listening for the underlying heartbeat. When you are completely focused on what the other person is saying, you are listening objectively. There are no thoughts about how any of the information relates personally or professionally to you. Objective listening is much more effective than subjective listening for this process because it allows you to focus your attention on the participant. As human beings, we naturally relate what people are saying to ourselves and have the desire to interject our own experiences and ideas in order to relate or connect. Try to avoid that urge. If you feel these thoughts come up, do your best to dismiss them and focus on what the participant is sharing. While staying objective, active listening means you’re also listening to all the sensory components. You’re reading between

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Encourage Your aptitude (your "natural" ability to do something) is thought by many people to be the main driver of their success. We raise people with those noticeable talents onto pedestals in a form of worship. Imagine yourself as a star soccer player, or the lead singer in your favourite band, an actor in an awesome movie. There are even some people who are simply famous at being famous. But everyday life for the vast majority of people isn't a movie. Our giftedness is a little less flashy and a little more humdrum. And almost every day we come across challenges and difficulties and it is how we face those challenges that sets us apart. Indeed, since Daniel Goleman's research for his landmark book, "Emotional Intelligence", others have gone on to reinforce that the "how" you approach challenges is far more important than what you actually do to resolve them, about 80/20. How you approach something is determined by your chosen attitude to the situation. And what matters here is that you can choose your attitude in spite of your initial feelings. And choosing a good attitude will improve your outcome and sets you above in the eyes of others. As Zig Ziglar originally shared, Your Altitude is determined more by your Attitude than your Aptitude. Develop: 5 Power Attitudes My own research shows that those who are most successful over the long term share three questions they ask themselves and five power attitudes they adopt, as if they were real, to face daily challenges successfully. In your brain, the process we are going to reframe whatever the problem, challenge or situation you observe. Like me and everyone else, when you come across a problem or challenging situation, your brain notes two key things: What is perceived to be happening or what is involved - the Content, and What is the setting in which this is happening - the Context. Both of which rely on your personal judgement and perception, which is influenced by your prior experience and memory and all of your personal, cognitive biases - which inform and shape your attitude to the situation. Successful and admired leaders pause a moment before judging the situation and consider different angles and approaches to help find the optimum solution, they deliberately adopt one or more of five power attitudes: Respect the OTHER person’s model of the world The meaning of your communication is the RESPONSE you get back People are NOT their behaviours People CAN change anything There is NO failure, only feedback 1. Respect the OTHER person's model of the world The way you and I view the world is different. Everyone looks at the world through a lens shaped by memory, experience, upbringing, values, beliefs, parents, exposure to media and etc. In the USA, political party affiliations are known to shape how someone interprets the same news about a speech by a presidential candidate. Religious beliefs often determine how one person views a situation compared with someone seeing exactly the same thing, but with a different belief. I'm not suggesting that they are right and you are wrong, nor am I daring to suggest that you should change your beliefs or affiliations. I am simply asking you to respect that they have their views and you have yours. They are as entitled to their perspective as you are to yours. I'm not even asking you to wear their shoes and imagine what the situation may look like if you shared their belief, their experiences. I am suggesting that you simply have due regard for their feelings, wishes, beliefs or rights. When you look at the situation now, you may find a better way to approach the challenge that may have greater chance of success for all concerned. Wear the attitude as if it were true and see how your greater empathy build more trust. 2. The meaning of your communication is the RESPONSE you get back "I just don't get it" she said to me. That was my fault. It wasn't that she was insufficiently able to make it happen, it wasn't that she hadn't listened

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Encourage One thing that separates the calm and joyful person from the stressed and depressed is a useful balance something known as the locus of control. Someone with an internal locus of control believes that he or she can influence events and their outcomes, while someone with an external locus of control blames outside forces for everything. In general terms, if you believe that everything is beyond or outside your control, then you are likely to be more anxious, highly stressed and quick to blame others for all failings. And normally, a high internal locus of control means that you accept responsibility that your abilities and effort determine your outcomes. An internal locus of control is going to bring you more benefits in the long-term as you choose to be at cause for your life. But let's be clear, it's a belief that you can influence events and their outcomes, not always control them. What we need is an appropriate balance of being in control. Indeed oftentimes we need to let go to gain control. You may feel stressed because you believe that everything depends entirely (and exclusively) on you and your efforts, or you may be feeling stressed because you believe that nothing at all is within your control. Develop What helps distinguish between being stressed out and effective is about control and, quite literally, how "hands-on" you are. If you have ever learned to play the game of golf, you'll know that at the beginning of learning to play that you grip the club tightly. After all this is basically holding onto a stick that you will swing through the air and hit a ball. Allowing the club to "follow-through' - if you don't hold on tight, the club might just go as far as the ball. I appreciate that you may have never played golf, but you can liken this also to the tight grip of the reins of a horse to controlling your dog on a very short leash to holding on tight to your child's hand New golfers have to learn how to 'let go' - to relax their grip. If a tight grip is a ten on a scale, we want a 4 out of 10. The same is true of leadership and the way we hold on to our people. Hold on too tight (micromanage) and people have little freedom to use their own skills and strength. Hold on too tight to the club, and it is the golfer doing all the work. So the question is: "who should be doing the work?" The manager or leader or the member of staff, or someone else more capable or who has more time to spare? A golf club is weighted for a reason. If you allow the club to do the work, the swing and striking of the ball, becomes almost effortless. Relax your grip on your team and allow them to excel at what they do, and the work becomes almost effortless. Once you know, as a golfer, that the club is designed to do the job of striking the ball, and your job is simply to swing and allow physics do to its job, you can relax. Maintain just enough control to ensure alignment, direction and distance and the ball will fly according to the club used, and the size of the swing. If you want a long distance, you use a long club and a full swing. A short distance off the fairway onto the green requires a shorter distance club and a smaller swing. The power to achieve the distance lies in the tool being employed and the chosen swing - the rest is pure physics. Guide So what can we learn as a leader? To hit your target, at some point you have to let go Isn't it the same? Make sure that you are using the right tool(s) - the person needs the right skill set (and/or mindset) and time to do the required job. The leader's job is to have a little control to ensure that the skills are employed in the right direction for the right distance - that's about judging how far it is to the goal and translating that into the swing itself - in the case of people, the swing is influence and motivation... let the staff do the rest. And just like that golf ball landing exactly where you both planned and wanted it to be for the next shot. You celebrate. Unlike golf,

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Encourage Every day you are busy. Emails fill your inbox, some of them might even matter. Your todo list gets ticked off... or not. You attend meetings, deal with clients, chat with the boss, communicate with colleagues, deal with crises, handle problems, worry about tomorrow, think about yesterday, fret over a sick child ... and the list goes on. If you are disciplined, you get to the gym or exercise at least 3 times a week and keep a wary eye on your diet, and make sure that you get enough rest at night. If you don't do these then you know that your body is more likely to break down. You know that you have to make time to look after your body and put in some effort. But do you look after your brain as well? Taking time to pause and meditate or be mindful is perhaps the most critical instrument to cultivate peak performance. You train your body to grow muscles and keep your weight in check. Well, taking time to pause, meditate or be mindful is like training your brain and taking control of the five types of brain waves so that you can be in charge of your life. Develop At the root of all your thinking, emotions and behaviours is the electrical and chemical communication between neurons inside your brain. And all that electrical activity is measured in the form of brainwaves. Brainwaves are grouped into five distinct categories, each associated with specific tasks and mental state. At our highest frequency we have gamma waves. These are associated with insight, peak focus, and expanded consciousness. If you are currently sharply concentrating on this new information, it'll be gamma waves that are helping you store this learning and associating it with existing knowledge and experience. A little slower in frequency and we have beta waves. This is the state you probably spend most of your active day especially in the urban jungle and our always-on society. Fabulously, beta waves allow us to concentrate hard on the task at hand and they are critical when we read, write and socialise but there is a cost in that beta waves can sap our energy and reduce emotional awareness and creativity. Once you get home and relax and reflect quietly your brain waves slow down to alpha waves. If you suffer from insomnia, anxiety or obsessive-compulsive symptoms you likely don't switch down to alpha and you need help. If on the other hand, you keep on socialising, watching fast-paced television or studying, you are keeping your brain in beta or even gamma state. And that's simply exhausting you. When you nod off into the world of dreaming, you experience theta waves. Interestingly, theta waves are also present when you are in that elusive, brilliant, effortless state often called being in the "flow" of peak performance. It's that autopilot type state you've been in when driving home on a familiar route, arriving home and wondering how you got there. It's in this state that many people get their flashes of insight or bursts of creativity. Lastly, we have delta waves which are associated with deep dreamless sleep. Some people can meditate themselves into this state whilst remaining alert and awake. These waves are the source of empathy, healing and regeneration - hence why deep restorative sleep is so essential to the healing process. Manipulating brainwaves The biggest issue for most people in this modern, always-on, hustle and busyness lifestyle is that we rarely make time to allow our brains to slow down. We get stressed and perhaps anxious, and the mind is whirring away at a fast pace zapping through energy and leaving the body exhausted. So how do we alter our brainwaves? Any process that changes your perception, changes your brain waves! Our brainwaves change according to what we are doing and how we are feeling. When slower brainwaves are dominant, we can feel tired, slow, sluggish or dreamy. When higher frequencies are prevalent, we feel wired, hyper or "buzzed". So, change what you are doing, and your brainwaves soon respond. It can take som

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Encourage When you ask someone what they want from life, most people will tell you that they want to be happy. Push a little bit more and they will tell you they want to do something useful or meaningful, make a difference, leave a legacy, or fulfil a calling. We call that succeeding. That is, the activities we undertake every day provide us with personal happiness or satisfaction and have long term benefits for yourself and/or other people. Some people are happy because they do something that helps others long term, even short term. Others do so out of some form of obligation or guilt and do not derive happiness from it. Many people find each day something of a chore, that is neither satisfying nor brings long term benefits. And an increasing number of people fill their days with fun activities that provide little benefit to anyone. Develop Look across the room to your fellow diners and it's highly likely that the next table are all staring at their phones. A passenger in the car next to you is playing a game. Kids sit glued to their tablet. We carry devices around with us that link us instantly to a world of entertainment and distraction. Then there's work. Which, in comparison can seem to be a lot less stimulating, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Then the blessed relief of a beep means an interesting and exciting message has been pushed through to your device and a shot of dopamine spikes through your brain bringing the promise of untold pleasure and fun. You open your inbox and see message after message demanding attention but you want to ignore because they're not the fun type of message. In fact, they cause a jolt of cortisol to flush through your brain and a little norepinephrine that triggers your fight or flight travel centre to divert energy from your stomach to your arms and legs. Every day you are faced with choices about what to do when. It's tempting to take the short term happiness generators, or maybe you're the sort of person who buckles down and does the most unpleasant task first saving the fun stuff for later? It's going to help you know what you spend your time on now and evaluating using this chart. ` This chart has two dimensions and five different modes of behaviour that we use to characterise our relationship to any activity. You simply ask two questions about an activity you undertake: Does this activity make me happy (or provide a degree of short-term satisfaction)? Are the results achieved from this activity worth my effort in giving a long-term positive impact on my life? There are no “right” answers to these questions, and your rating score is entirely down to you (by all means keep changing it until you work out what is really a 10, and what is really a 1) In an ideal perfect world, we would find great short-term happiness in everything we do, and each reaps the long-term benefit. In reality, we all do things that run short of the perfect score for us, but the more we can get the balance and the higher, the better. For high performance, you do those things that bring the greatest long-term benefit in the shortest time. For most fun you do those things that bring the greatest happiness over the longest period of time. In the end, it’s your choice but the better the overall balance, the more likely you are to enjoy each and every day. You can then plot your regular activities on a chart like the one above. Which activities are Surviving, which stimulating, sacrificing succeeding or are they sustaining? Guide Stimulating activities feed your short-term satisfaction but do little for long-term benefit. Watching an amusing YouTube video, most television programming, an alcoholic drink or three, smoking a cigarette or taking drugs may provide a quick "high" but long-term could even be harmful. It's increasingly easy to fritter your life away on fun but meaningless activities and many of these activities are addictive in part because of the ease of stimulating dopamine spikes in the brain. Sacrifici

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President Harry S. Truman had a famous sign on his desk that read: "The Buck Stops Here." A clear indicator that he accepted accountability for all the decisions of his administration. There are leaders like Truman in politics and organisations today, though not many. Accountability starts with honesty. Being able to set aside personal pride and admit your own mistakes and being honest first with yourself, and then to all of those you serve as a leader. It shows that you can be trusted as a leader and that even you can be fallible. I'm sorry if this is going to hurt your pride a little, but you are not perfect in everything you say and do. It's OK, I'm not either, and nor is anybody else. That doesn't mean that we hide behind the excuse that "I'm not perfect" but it does mean being open to correction and improvement in a very public way. I was running one of our Golf Leadership programmes for a local company owned and run by a very traditional, senior Asian businessman known by his initials "CS". He happened to be teamed up with his female PA who had, until this day, never picked up a golf club. He was an old hand at the game with a very respectable handicap. They were on the 5th and final tee for our game. A narrow fairway with tress on the left, water on the right and the green and hole just 220m in a dead straight line. It was a warm day with cloud cover and little wind. The PA took her spot at the tee, put everything she had learned into practice from the morning and calmly sent the ball flying, straight as an arrow to land 160m in the middle of the fairway. It was a beautiful thing to watch for a newcomer and she was thrilled. The boss took his place, a grudging nod of appreciation to his PA and lined up for his shot. He'd skipped out on much of the morning session for "more vital and important things than training" and hooked his drive into the trees. A few choice dialect cusses and a spare ball magically appears on the tee. He lines up the shot, tests the weight of his custom clubs, a few practice swings and shuffles his feet and then swings with a beautiful, magnificent example of how to slice the ball into the water. The faintest snort behind him, or was it a giggle? And the custom club comes crunching onto the big green ball beneath our feet accompanied by a stream of cusses. The boss collects himself, turns to my camera guy and demands the footage be erased. Money is proffered and refused. Threats are offered and similar rebuffed. A while later I persuade the CS to allow us to show the video to all the team. He was so fearful of losing face in front of his staff and concerned that they would now know that he could lose his temper quite so violently. I assured CS this was not going to be a moment of revelation to his staff. Rather, it was a moment of relief for them. Now, nobody had to tell him about the issue and risk that very temper. We showed the video to the team and a lengthy discussion followed beginning with CS offering the whole team an apology for his behaviour and a request for their support going forward. When we are honest with ourselves and with others, we are taking responsibility for our behaviours and actions and then we can hold ourselves accountable for the results. 2. Accountable leaders are honest and voluntarily say "I'm sorry" when something goes wrong and they bear some or all the responsibility for the wrongdoing. When the wrongdoing is by someone who works for them, accountable leaders accept their part in their responsibility for the decisions or instructions that may have been a party to the wronghappening. Too often we hear leaders shifting the focus of attention for the blame onto someone, or something else. Whether it's a politician "spinning" bad news and shifting the blame to anyone who is less able to defend themself, or the CEO of a multi-national desperately trying to escape responsibility for a major disaster. "This was not our accident …" said Tony Hayward, Chief Executive of BP

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Encourage Imagine that someone created a red pill that adds years to your life; it reduces the risk of having a heart attack or stroke; cuts your risk of Alzheimer's disease by more than fifty percent; helps you relax during the day and sleep better at night; it doubles your chances of staying drug and alcohol free after treatment; activates your natural killer cells; diminishes your inflammatory cells; increase your good cholesterol (HDL); and it repairs your DNA. What if this imaginary red pill reduced hospitalisation so much that it put a big dent in the national health crisis? Oh, and as a special bonus, it gives you better sex. The company that made that red pill would be worth gazillions right? The red pill's inventors would win Nobel Prizes and have institutes named for them. But it's not a red pill. It's purpose. And it's free. And you get side effects. More friends. Greater happiness. Deeper engagement in life. And better sex. Now imagine a blue pill that makes your work almost effortless, yet simultaneously fulfilling. Every moment at work you are in the zone. You're flowing and your performance is so good, and your productivity increases and you are more engaged with your work and with your colleagues. The company who made that blue pill would be worth even more gazillions and businesses would be clamouring for their workers to take this magnificent drug so they could profit even more and keep staff happily employed and engaged for years to come at higher wages with shorter working hours and greater productivity. Well, those blue pills would be flying off the shelves faster than a speeding bullet. But it's not a blue pill. It's leveraging your talent. And it's also free. Now, what if you take both the red pill and the blue pill? What if you were joyful at work, found deep pleasure in doing what you do and it felt effortless and your job was meaningful for you? I've worked with so many people who want this to be true for them. I'm certain that you do too. And there is a way that you can have this. But I must warn you. This is not a magic trick for instant success, nor a silver bullet that will instantly make everything bad disappear. Some things will appear to be magical but they're actually social cognitive neuroscience. Some things are going to turn your world on its head. It will take you some time and effort. So if you don't like taking on things that take time and effort you should turn back now before you get a glimpse of the potential joy you could be having at work. Develop What do you want out of life? You want to be happy right? Of course, you do. Ask anyone what they want in life and the vast majority will reply that they want to be happy. They want their partner to be happy. They want their kids to be happy. They want their entire family to be happy. Ask them if they are happy at work, and you'll be met with a kind smirk as if you had lost your marbles. Ask them if they experience joy at work and they'll laugh at the absurdity of the idea. Yet a 2015 study shows that happy staff are 12% more productive than unhappy staff. And happiness has an even greater impact on sales - raising sales by 37%! We've known this for years! Centuries even! So every organisation everywhere has implemented fantastic training and coaching to make sure that their staff are all happy. This is immediately evident as you walk into almost any workplace in any country. How everyone is smiling, laughing, being friendly, helpful, cooperating. How their so joyful its contagious you cannot help but smile and wish earnestly that you could join that organisation and get paid handsomely for having fun and enjoying every day. When you take both the red pill and the blue pill, you'll be well on your way to having deep and lasting joy @ work. We derive joy from our using our talents and strengths effectively in our work (and lives). The Blue Pill. We derive joy from doing something meaningful and significant. The Red Pill. And we derive joy f

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Encourage Every day you are busy. Emails fill your inbox, some of them might even matter. Your todo list gets ticked off... or not. You attend meetings, deal with clients, chat with the boss, communicate with colleagues, deal with crises, handle problems, worry about tomorrow, think about yesterday, fret over a sick child ... and the list goes on. If you are disciplined, you get to the gym or exercise at least 3 times a week and keep a wary eye on your diet, and make sure that you get enough rest at night. If you don't do these then you know that your body is more likely to break down. You know that you have to make time to look after your body and put in some effort. But do you look after your brain as well? Taking time to pause and meditate or be mindful is perhaps the most critical instrument to cultivate peak performance. You train your body to grow muscles and keep your weight in check. Well, taking time to pause, meditate or be mindful is like training your brain and taking control of the five types of brain waves so that you can be in charge of your life. Develop At the root of all your thinking, emotions and behaviours is the electrical and chemical communication between neurons inside your brain. And all that electrical activity is measured in the form of brainwaves. Brainwaves are grouped into five distinct categories, each associated with specific tasks and mental state. At our highest frequency we have gamma waves. These are associated with insight, peak focus, and expanded consciousness. If you are currently sharply concentrating on this new information, it'll be gamma waves that are helping you store this learning and associating it with existing knowledge and experience. A little slower in frequency and we have beta waves. This is the state you probably spend most of your active day especially in the urban jungle and our always-on society. Fabulously, beta waves allow us to concentrate hard on the task at hand and they are critical when we read, write and socialise but there is a cost in that beta waves can sap our energy and reduce emotional awareness and creativity. Once you get home and relax and reflect quietly your brain waves slow down to alpha waves. If you suffer from insomnia, anxiety or obsessive-compulsive symptoms you likely don't switch down to alpha and you need help. If on the other hand, you keep on socialising, watching fast-paced television or studying, you are keeping your brain in beta or even gamma state. And that's simply exhausting you. When you nod off into the world of dreaming, you experience theta waves. Interestingly, theta waves are also present when you are in that elusive, brilliant, effortless state often called being in the "flow" of peak performance. It's that autopilot type state you've been in when driving home on a familiar route, arriving home and wondering how you got there. It's in this state that many people get their flashes of insight or bursts of creativity. Lastly, we have delta waves which are associated with deep dreamless sleep. Some people can meditate themselves into this state whilst remaining alert and awake. These waves are the source of empathy, healing and regeneration - hence why deep restorative sleep is so essential to the healing process. Manipulating brainwaves The biggest issue for most people in this modern, always-on, hustle and busyness lifestyle is that we rarely make time to allow our brains to slow down. We get stressed and perhaps anxious, and the mind is whirring away at a fast pace zapping through energy and leaving the body exhausted. So how do we alter our brainwaves? Any process that changes your perception, changes your brain waves! Our brainwaves change according to what we are doing and how we are feeling. When slower brainwaves are dominant, we can feel tired, slow, sluggish or dreamy. When higher frequencies are prevalent, we feel wired, hyper or "buzzed". So, change what you are doing, and your brainwaves soon respond. It can take som

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Every day you are busy.

Emails fill your inbox, some of them might even matter. Your todo list gets ticked off... or not. You attend meetings, deal with clients, chat with the boss, communicate with colleagues, deal with crises, handle problems, worry about tomorrow, think about yesterday, fret over a sick child ... and the list goes on.

If you are disciplined, you get to the gym or exercise at least 3 times a week and keep a wary eye on your diet, and make sure that you get enough rest at night. If you don't do these then you know that your body is more likely to break down.

You know that you have to make time to look after your body and put in some effort. But do you look after your brain as well?

Taking time to pause and meditate or be mindful is perhaps the most critical instrument to cultivate peak performance. You train your body to grow muscles and keep your weight in check. Well, taking time to pause, meditate or be mindful is like training your brain and taking control of the five types of brain waves so that you can be in charge of your life.

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There's a lot of excitement about artificial intelligence (AI) and the potential for robots to autonomously make decisions about what gets done, how it gets done, and who does it. As the technology fast approaches the dreams of science fiction, many professionals, blue and white colour workers are beginning to fear a future where their own jobs are no more. Will you be one who is replaced, or will you be one of those who thrives? The new Luddism In a fit of rage against the machines, Ned Ludd was an apprentice textile worker who allegedly smashed two stocking frames, a mechanical knitting machine, in 1779. The act spawned the Luddite movement whose members disliked the new technological devices and the changes being brought about by the Industrial Revolution. In 1812, the Luddite movement was a small militant force, battling the British army in Middleton, Lancashire. They met at night on the moors surrounding industrial towns to practice drills and manoeuvres. The Luddites employed tactics that today we would call terrorism and they were driven by a powerful cause: to save their jobs and improve their wretched standard of living. And they blamed the new machines in large part for their suffering. Today, we face a new challenge: The rise of the robots. Technological advances in the 19th and 20th centuries mainly displaced uneducated labourers. Today, we are seeing technology increasingly threaten skilled worker's jobs as well. Today, you may well have good reason to be concerned about the rise of the robots. I realised recently, that I hadn't actually spoken to, or needed to speak to, anyone in my bank for more than two years. Financial services have been at the forefront of digital adoption and transformation and many lower-level (those less cognitvely demanding) positions have already simply disappeared. In energy and mining, AI enables companies to tap new reserves and increase extraction and production efficiency. Predictive, manual work in both industries is no longer needed and the physical skills of old, is already or will soon be redundant. In healthcare, automation and AI has already changed the interaction between patients and healthcare professionals. But the good news for carers is that demand for their services is likely to grow, but if you work the back office, it could be time to look elsewhere. Manufacturing is seeing a new wave of AI and automation further disrupting production functions in factories. Two years ago, Foxconn replaced 60,000 workers with robots in one factory. The retail sector is rapidly dying a death on the high street and jobs replaced by machines increase daily. Whether it be the self-checkout of today, or the automated RFID or similar tech of tomorrow. And who needs physical shops and humans in them anyway when Amazon can deliver later this afternoon? Real Estate Agents are unlikely to be missed by those not in the profession, but what will they do once their job is done by a 'bot? Support services in organisations are threatened too. Do you really need accountants when the rules are established? Once you have the policies and procedures in place, how many people do you need in HR? Supply chain professionals are replacing themselves rapidly. Customer Service has shifted to self-serve portals and voice prompts recorded once and played in evermore annoying menus of choices. True, many other jobs open up, but with completely different skill requirements. Cybersecurity seems unlikely to stop growing - indeed, half of the battle is against malevolent AI bots. Rise of the Robots (book) - Wikipedia Skill shift: Automation and the future of the workforce The good news is that we'll still need humans to manage and lead and do the more complex cognitive thinking. For now, anyway. Sure, one day AI could evolve to higher levels of quasi-cognitive functioning and make better decisions than human managers and leaders. And there are things that you can do, right now, to significantly improve your valu

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"Where do you see yourself in five years time?" This insidious little question invites the interviewee to begin a little game that finishes as a belief built on sand. You guess what your prospective employer wants to hear, and then you give it to them. It's almost as bad as your Aunt's favourite: "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The myriad branching possibilities when you are 12 or 13 years old seem to lead in opposite directions, and all equally tempting. By the time you hit the renowned "mid-life crisis" when you are, theoretically, equipped to make better choices. In reality, your 20s and 30s wide-eyed optimism has usually been replaced by a more cynical outlook on jobs and the workplace. And that mid-life crisis seems to be happening earlier and earlier. In this episode, I'm going to take a look at some of the many "buts" that prevent people from career planning for themselves and then I shall propose an alternative to career planning that will help you get started pursuing what you really want to do. Fair warning: there's a lot of "buts" in here. I wasn't surprised that no hands went up at this workshop. A couple of Gen Xers and the rest millennials, not a single one had a career plan. In most workshops, I'll see maybe two hands tentatively raised when I ask who has a personal career plan. It seems that most people like to leave their future career in the hands of others, their whims and fancies rather than do something as arduous as think about what they would like to be doing in a few years time. It's hardly surprising that Gallup's State of the Global Workplace Report in 2017 finds that 85% of employees are disengaged. Why would you be engaged in your work if you felt as if you were going nowhere you really wanted to go? So they shared their "buts" with me as to why they didn't have a career plan. Maybe you have these "buts" too. But there's no point in planning when the world is changing so quickly! Of course, there are problems in career planning. It's difficult enough to think about 20 or 30 years ahead. Interestingly, I find that the older you are, the easier it is, but that is not so critical. The problem is that we struggle to plan into a future that we anticipate is going to be very, utterly, completely different from today. Go back just 10 years and I suspect that not a single person had an actual career plan that included social media, either as a tool, or as a job itself, let alone being an App developer, Uber driver, YouTube sensation, drone operator, data scientist, genetic counsellor or cybersecurity chief. That the world will be different in 10 years time is not an excuse not to plan, rather, it's a reality to consider and allow yourself to change your plans and remain agile with the ever-changing world outside. But isn't it HRs job to plan my career? Sure, why not. And whilst you're letting them do that for you, how about they choose your life partner. You'll be spending less time with them than at your job, but it's still a pretty major decision. Best to abdicate that to someone who cares deeply about your personal well-being, happiness and sense of meaning... But it's so difficult to know what I will want to be doing in the future. In ‘the road less travelled’, M. Scott Peck starts: “Life is difficult”. What is most surprising, is that, for many people, this is a revelation! Go to any business networking event, or meet a potential client or recruiter – especially during the current economic situation and they will be moaning incessantly about the enormity of their problems, burdens or difficulties as if life should be easy. When I was a teenager I dreamed of being a top chef. I imagined being a chef until I happily died, probably drunk in the kitchen having slipped and broken my fall on the corner of a stove with my head. In my early twenties, I was already happily shifting my thoughts to management and a (slightly) easier life. By my late 20's I was writing computer code and planning on

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We all want an inspirational leader. Someone to look up to, to give us hope and direction. A leader who engages us as individuals and treats us well, but most of all makes us want to be better. But what if that leader is you? And today you're feeling a bit blah. Everything's sort of "meh" and you'd like to just hang in there for the time being and let Future Self take responsibility for that. We all go through phases in life when our mood is uplifting, positive, dynamic and we feel like we could conquer the world. And then there's that "meh" moment, when everything is a little bland, and what would be really really nice is if someone else would just take charge and be the one to inspire and engage and buck us up. To choose to switch your drive and motivation on so that you can inspire others, we're going to delve into the neuroscience of how your brain works, learn what drives you (and everybody else) and then we're going to take charge of the chemistry cocktail bar inside your brain. The Neuroscience of your Get Up and Go (aka your MOJO) Your brain is not your best friend when it comes to feeling positive, enthusiastic and inspired. In fact, neuroscientific evidence shows that our brains are hard-wired to make us feel mentally crappy most of the time. Let me geek out with some acronyms for a moment - it's interesting stuff. Briefly, your brain is survival focussed and it is controlled by the Sympathetic Nervous System (the SNS) and the Hypothalmic-Pituitary-Adrenal Axis (HPPA). Both the SNS and HPAA are reactive systems. That is, they register any (and every) possible threat and fire you up chemically to respond. This is fantastically useful in keeping you safe but it has the rather unpleasant side effect of making you feel anxious, stressed, disappointed and generally low spirited. Today's living environment for most of us, especially in urban areas means that both your SNS and HPAA are fired up much of the time in response to the daily challenges you face on your daily commute, in noisy, crowded offices, surrounded by beeping devices and with a boss imposing impossible deadlines... Modern life is taking a large toll on your peace of mind. Yet, you have another system available to you called the ParaSympathetic Nervous System (PSNS). And when your PSNS takes charge you feel great: calm, relaxed, chill, tranquil, clear-headed, and well, happy. Yes, the name of the Sympathetic Nervous System is a little misleading in our modern understanding of the word "sympathetic", but it is the system that makes you feel stressed or basically, crappy. OK, so a quick summary, your brain automagically, or rather, unconsciously, reacts to environmental stimuli through your Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) and/or your Hypothalmic-Pituitary-Adrenal Axis (HPAA) to prepare you to deal with any threats. Once the threat passes, or you choose to consciously engage it, your ParaSympathetic System (PSNS) switches on to calm you down and get back to other important stuff like digesting your food, maintaining homeostasis, slowing your heart rate and so on. Just make a note that you can choose to consciously trigger the PSNS. I'll be back to this at the end. Before that though, let's study what actually drives you. i.e. what gets you getting up and going? We all have four basic human needs that are at the heart of practical neuroscience. Of course, your brain is an incredibly complex organ and variations of human behaviour are an endless ocean of subtle differences. But we can identify four neuro-scientifically founded basic needs of human beings and how these influence our motivational behaviours and how we interact with the world around us. As human beings, we have developed to use the environment to its best and allow for reproduction and the furtherment of our species - our survival and growth. Our physiological needs that drive our physical survival: hunger, thirst and sleep, are well understood. Here, we focus on our psychological needs for our

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Are you a controlling leader or are you controlled in how you lead?

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Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth. Mike Tyson's excellent response to a reporters question before his fight with Evander Holyfield. And isn't that just true about all of the best laid plans we make? No plan survives contact with the enemy Attributed to Helmuth von Moltke in the 19th century. All such quotes ring true because you know that it concurs with your own experience. On June 6th 1944 the long planned sea and airborne invasion of France began and the months of practice and detailed planning unravelled as parachute forces dropped into unmarked landing spots, gliders landed in wrong areas and thousands of soldiers from many different units found themselves mixed together during the night. A military disaster appeared to be in the making yet just hours later, the original objectives were being accomplished by ad-hoc units who faced much fiercer than expected German resistance. Leaders and soldiers at all levels understood that no matter where they found themselves on landing and no matter who with, they had to form into units, seize bridges and key terrain. The plan had vanished, but good Commander's Intent and superior training allowed leaders and soldiers to improvise and take the initiative to save the mission. What happens in your team at work when a plan changes? Does everyone know what to do next or is there confusion, prevarication and people standing around waiting for direction? Planning is time-consuming and difficult, whether you're planning a military operation, a product launch or planning your career. The military most often uses a concept known as "Commander's Intent" as a key concept to help a plan remain relevant and applicable during chaos in a dynamic ever-changing and resource-constrained environment. That is, they use it for real-life application. In the military, Commander's Intent is the definition and description of what a successful mission will look like to the commander (or CEO). Again, in the military, a Mission Statement describes Who, What, Where, When and Why (the 5W's) of How a mission will be executed. Thus, Commander's Intent describes the vision of the battlefield (or market, for example) at the accomplishment of the mission. Commander's Intent is what success looks like whilst fully recognising that the situation will be chaotic, that there is a lack of complete information, that the enemy changes the situation and anything else that may impact the situation to make the plan completely or partially obsolete when executed. Commander's Intent empowers subordinates to guide their improvisation and to take the initiative to adapt the plan to the changing battlefield environment. It enables the whole team to keep the clear vision of a successful conclusion whilst being agile and taking initiative to change when necessary. Why not just use SMART goals. SMART goals are what we are supposed to be setting, right? The downside of SMART goals is their lack of purpose Goal setting is essential, but even SMART goals are not enough in a rapidly changing, dynamic and shifting environment. SMART goals are terrific, but they don't tell me why, nor what to do should the specific result become impossible given the change in the environment... and there will be a change in the environment. When you take a SMART goal and turn it into an intention reduces the risk of the plan to achieve the goal being rendered useless in the event of unforeseen circumstances. To reduce the risk of becoming unusable, the Commander’s Intent is purposely ambiguous. Regardless of your seniority, any team member can improvise and align their behaviour without jeopardising the mission; and if need be, specify for clarification and without the need for instruction from their leaders. Simplistically, an intent takes a great SMART goal and adds a "so that" to it. For example, Score twice tonight so that we win the match. If the other team score three times, your goal remains achieved yet your mission is stuffe

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How do we find our purpose to listen to wisdom to rightly choose when to be agile and change and when we should keep on the same track? Wisdom Tenacity and Agility I was at my wits end. Burned out and utterly lost in a quagmire of my own making. I'm uncertain as to what came first. Was I burning out and thus started to get stressed and failing to close business or was my failure to close business causing the stress that made me burn out? Whatever, the upshot was that times were tough, the economy was in the doldrums and it didn't look as if there was a recovery happening anytime soon. You'd think that after 15 odd years of this rollercoaster life we loving call entrepreneurship that I would know better than to allow myself to become exhausted but then many of my coaching clients experience very similar situations. Perhaps that was it! Burnout is a contagious disease!! A mind virus that constantly reminds you there but for the grace of God go I. And boy did I jump down the rabbit hole. When I asked close friends, mentors and fellow coaches, most of them advised me to "keep on keeping on" - that I was "on the right track", not to "get distracted". Others suggested I flip and change. Take off and do something different. The latter seemed easier - after all, the grass always does seem greener... Stupid, stupid mistake! Oh well, that was an eighteen month error. The grass wasn't just not greener, it was an arid, dust-filled desert of disappointment and regret. When would you dig your heels in and stay the course and when should you switch and change? A couple of weeks ago, I was participating in a webinar of fellow entrepreneurs and the discussion moved to the idea of following one's passion. For a long while I was keeping quiet and listening in to folk enthusiastic and new to running their own business and several soon to be corporate refugees along with some old hands at this game. You could hear the passion in people's voices, their wanton desire to impact lives and make a difference and it was delightful to hear. But after a while I began to become concerned that many were confusing passion for purpose and that an obstacle such as I had faced just ten years ago could so easily derail them. On the other hand, their passion and excitement was vivid - something I rarely sense with my clients in the corporate world. And I'm thinking that passion is that fuel that keeps us keeping on when times are tough and each day seems more like a battle than an enjoyable journey. So, do we change with agility when trouble looms or keep on keeping on? I plan on discussing a lot in this episode of the Leadership AdvantEdge. So hold onto your hats as I try to distinguish between passion and purpose because these appear to drive what we choose to do in our lives (even if we're uncertain what they are). And how passion and purpose can help us wisely decide between being agile or being tenacious. Does Passion fuel Purpose or are they the same thing? I believe that passion and purpose are not the same thing. For me, purpose is your reason for being, it’s the what you were born to do or achieve in this life. Passion is the drive, the desire, love, aching want to do or achieve something. Passion is turned into energy to act, while purpose is your reason to act. Passion without purpose can quickly become dead works. For example, I can be wildly enthusiastic to pursue a particular course of action but will likely run out of steam when I find there is no reason or motive for doing so. The fuel of desire runs out. Purpose is something that pulls you along, it’s what brings meaning to life and actions. Perhaps simplistically? Passion is the emotion, whilst purpose is the reason. Purpose is your key to life! Does this matter? It seems that yes, this matters a great deal. I have met so many people who love what they do. They are, without doubt, passionate about their work. Of course, I've met many more who don't enjoy what they are doing one little bit. You w

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Part 5 of our series on Being an Exceptional presenter takes us into the OW of KNOWing your Audience. Blame the 'O' for millions of people being fearful of presenting at all. And blame the 'W' for most presenters failing. It's also why most telemarketing sucks. Both to receive and to do. To give your case the best possible chance of success, you need to establish credibility with your audience, present your logical argument and appeal to their emotions. That is, you need to win their hearts and minds. Notice the word "win" - because in every presentation, yours is just one more voice contending to be heard and acted upon. People do resist change, and anytime that you are presenting you are instigating change. All of your audience members (and you) share 3 basic human needs: To have a positive self-image The need to belong The need to be right When your argument makes the audience FEEL that you are picking them out as non-compliant, wrong or simply for being different, then your argument falls on deaf ears.   Image already added

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If there's one complaint I hear about a presenter's skills from their boss or a their HR, it's that they don't adjust their presentation for their audience. And yet those presenters genuinely believe that they do adjust for their audience. So who is right? Well, they're both correct of course. The presenter thinks they are adjusting but they don't really KNOW their audience. What about the audience themselves? What do they think? Sadly the audience don't have an opinion because they stopped paying attention and moved onto other, more exciting things like thinking about lunch or updating Facebook. To capture their attention and motivate them to act, you have to get top KNOW your audience Image already added

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n this AdvantEdge Guide I am sharing how you can make your presentations engaging, memorable and interesting by utilising the New Golden Circle of Visual Storytelling. There are three parts to this guide. I shall start with the problem, that is that most presentations (and presenters) are boring. That Smartphones are a presenters enemy and you try to give too much information in one go. Then we'll look at how you can gain and keep someone's attention and lastly, we'll look at how your brain thinks visually and how to use visual storytelling so that you gain attention, engage your audience and make your presentation interesting and memorable. Most presentations are boring Take a moment to consider how many presentations you have attended that were fascinating and interesting and memorable. I suspect that you can count them on one hand. Yawn yawn and yawn again It's almost as if someone invented a special tool to keep all the people passive and obedient. A tool that is used in almost every organisation around the world. A tool so cruel in its design that everyone dreads it. A tool that will eat away at your time and steal the fun you might have with your family. What if that same tool could be used for good? A time when people learned and felt motivated. A time when they truly began to understand what was happening now and in the future. That same tool could be used to change the world and make it a better place. Well it can. Because that tool is "the presentation". 70% of meetings are a waste of time says one HBR survey. To be honest, I think that there's another 29% out there who were attending a presentation and lost the will to complete the survey. Is it true? You tell me. How exciting, memorable and useful are the presentations (and meetings) you attend?

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You want to make a greater impact and you want to be seen as an exceptional presenter, but nobody seems to care what you say or how you say it, let alone act on the information you shared. What you need to do is motivate your audience to pay attention and motivate them to act on the information you share and to do that, you need to start with WHY it matters to them.  How do you quickly and easily go about this and put together an amazing and impactful presentation?  In this AdvantEdge guide, I'm going to share three essential aspects that will equip you to quickly, and easily put together an amazing and impactful presentation so that you motivate your audience to pay attention and motivate them to act on the information you share Generating motivation to ... Motivation Direction Finding Your Why

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It’s all about being “natural” or “charismatic”! It is, you’re right of course. So shall we mere mortals give up then? It is true that some people appear “natural” and “charismatic” when they deliver a talk or presentation. But they usually neglect to tell you the real secret of their confidence and “natural” ability: that they are exceptionally well prepared, and have fine-tuned this and practised it multiple times. I know, because I am one of those people. Workshop participants and attendees for my keynotes often remark how “engaging”, “entertaining” and “insightful” I am sharing this with you not to brag, but to humbly tell you that I wasn’t always this good. Furthermore, I am not as good today as I will be tomorrow! For today is another day to prepare, practice and hone my presentation, my message or my keynote. I am not especially gifted. I am rather introverted, though I may be less frightened than some people of being the centre of attention. I am anxious before every single presentation. And I am fully prepared for 75% of them. Another 5% is when I am caught off-guard and I am suddenly expected to speak wonderously and my mind scrambles for something poignant and fabulous. As for the rest – those I think I can wing it. I’m wrong, of course, but they are learning moments all. These “secrets” of great presenting are available to anyone with the will and desire to make an impact and be the change they want to make in the world. PIMP stands for Purpose, Importance, Method, and Product. The four essential elements of being exceptionally well prepared for your presentation, indeed any communication. Think of the last presentation you attended or watched, that resonated with you. You can remember the presentation vividly, you knew why you were there and how it was important for you. You also had a clear idea of what you were supposed to do after the presentation. The presenter communicated very effectively with you, engaging you personally and you felt a real connection with them. You recall ideas and specific stories from that presentation. Well, that was a PIMPed presentation. Now, if you are wishing that you had attended a presentation like that but cannot, for the life of you, recall one. Then that is sad. You have yet to experience a PIMPed presentation. But fret not. Before long you will be delivering one yourself and, just to be sure, you should video record it and watch it later. That way, you will have both delivered and watched a great, memorable, purposeful presentation. When you, and your audience, know the purpose of your presentation, they know what you intend to achieve and that this matters to them. When you and your audience members understand what is important to each member, then they realise the value of your presentation. When you choose to tailor and deliver your presentation in the most appropriate and engaging method for your audience, then they will understand your message easily. When you and your audience know the product of your presentation, they know precisely what they will be doing with the information now. Of course, there’s only one way to begin discussing how to PIMP your presentation than using that same format and approach here. So let’s start with your Purpose (and mine) My Purpose in this series of presentations is to encourage you to adopt the PIMP process to all of your presentations from now on. Indeed, I am going to encourage you to use this for all of your communications from here on in. Why should you adopt PIMP? PIMPing your presentations will allow you to quickly and easily prepare exceptionally well for any presentation you make. Even when you present on the spur of the moment! This will enable you to prepare to communicate in the way your audience’s brains work. You might think that it is super obvious that it would be greatly beneficial if all of our communication was prepared and delivered in the way the recipient's brain receives and processes information, but it is surpri

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This is just a test publsihing

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"Some people are just more naturally empathic than others" the CEO brusquely informed me. "It's not personal, it's business" he went on quoting that bundle of joy Donald Trump. "They should know what's good for them, and do what I suggest. Why should I have to influence them or show empathy?" The CEO pushed back his chair as if our session were over. His company was struggling. Several key staff had recently departed and were working for a competitor. He still insisted that empathy was not something he needed to do, and he was perfectly capable of influencing his team. It was they who needed to change, not him. You've met someone like this I'm sure. And you're wondering how I'm going to suggest that they change right? But no, there is a twist here. How do you influence them to have more empathy and more easily influence others? You see, it's terrific to have someone like that CEO in your life. You are not like him. You care. You show a genuine concern, and there are only a few people who, well, they simply don't deserve your love and respect. How do you show empathy for someone and influence them when they don't "do" empathy? Especially when you know that they really need to "do" empathy so that they can be a better influencer.

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Today is your birthday! OK, maybe it’s not actually today, but happy birthday anyway. This is the one day a year when a few people, your mum and maybe an aunt, send you an actual birthday card. Remember those? Real physical cards. Heck, nowadays people can’t even be bothered with an e-card. but I digress. This week you’ll learn how you can retake control of your time and get back at least 20% of your work life to enjoy doing other things that matter. Let’s get back to your birthday. At around 8:30 on your birthday morning, your postal delivery person comes to your home and delivers the first card that your Mum sent in the first-class post.   Where are you at 8:30 in the morning? The Postman always delivers twice Either at work or on your way to work right? Oh, well. On your doormat at home (yes, the Royal mail delivers to your door… and everyone else’s door too) lies that birthday card from your dear mum. At about 3 in the afternoon, the postal delivery comes again to your home and delivers a second birthday card. This one from your aunt who chose the second-class post because she’s a little more frugal than your mum. A second birthday card pops through your letterbox. Where are you at 3 in the afternoon? Oh, yes, you’re still at work aren’t you. So let’s say that you leave early today because your partner is treating you to a special birthday dinner and you want to be ready. You arrive home at about 5:30 pm and there on your doormat lie two birthday cards. The thrill that someone remembered and even cared enough to buy, write and send a real card through the post envelopes you with a warmth of love and celebration. Now, imagine that you have just taken over the reins at a huge distribution company that is losing more than one and a half million dollars a day. The company has been losing money for years and years, decades even, and no-one seems to know how to stop the haemorrhaging. The company can trace its roots back to the early 16th century during the reign of Henry VIII. I am, of course, referring to the Royal Mail. The same organisation who delivered your birthday cards. For more than a hundred years, the Royal Mail has struggled to make a profit and the continued losses could mark the final demise of this nearly 500-year-old organisation. I’ll give you a minute to fix the problem. It only takes 10 to 15 seconds because you doubt that the answer could be that simple What was that, in less than 10 seconds and you know that you should deliver once a day? Well, that seems pretty obvious. So you argue and debate and cajole and use every shred of your influence and the twice a day delivery becomes once a day. So tell me, did you care that your birthday cards arrived in the morning and in the afternoon? Of course not, you weren’t there anyway. Had they been delivered together, it would have made no difference to you. The twice a day delivery service added no value to you. Indeed, when it went to once a day, nobody noticed, and nobody really cared. Sure, in the days of Jane Austin when the ladies would be sat primly at home with their embroidery and awaiting the morning letter from their lover, and then later, more eagerly asking Papa if the afternoon post was here with yet another letter from her dearly beloved. But by 2004, we even had this newfangled and strange tool known as email. The Royal Mail had lost millions and millions providing a service that added no value its customers cared about. We walk in circles because everyone else walks in circles so we walk in circles like everyone else… So, what are you doing each and every day that’s adding no value to your customers? How many meetings do you attend that are a complete waste of your time? How many emails do you reply to that add little or no value? How many texts do you send that achieve little more than a beep at the other end? What other activities are you doing every day that, anyone with fresh eyes, would question “why do you do that?” Your answer, of cour

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“As long as you do everything exactly the way I want it when I want it, you can do it any way you want whenever you want.” The Head Chef told me on my first day in his kitchen. There was to be no ambiguity, no doubt that there was one way of doing things, and it was his way. I wasn’t there to express my creativity and brilliance. I was there to follow orders and comply with any and every demeaning request. With his first sentence, my new boss had stripped me of any personal control and all autonomy. Boy, did I feel motivated?!? It was, however, the most efficient kitchen I had worked in. We turned out surprisingly excellent food and you could, quite literally, eat off the floor. Rarely did anything go wrong, but should someone make a mistake, then Chef would be quick to bellow profanities and ensure that it was unlikely you would make that mistake again. Well, either that or you ran crying from the kitchen never to return. Within a year, this chef was awarded his first Michelin Star. We celebrated by working harder than ever, scrubbing floors with more gusto and no-one ever dared to argue or question the Chef’s absolute authority in all matters. Success it seems is maintaining control. Maintaining absolute control over every team member requires the gentle art of micromanaging everything. Every single little thing. Absolute control. And using power to get what you wanted. Taking all control from team members and empowering them only insofar as they could comply with precise instructions barked often in close proximity so that you could enjoy a shower at the same time. Most new managers quickly learn a similar lesson. That exerting power over others gets them to do things. Keeping tight control enables you to maintain discipline and authority. And, in the short term at least, be successful. And as the team grows, and new people join, the controlling manager soon finds that no-one else can be trusted to get things right. Other people just don’t care enough to make everything perfect. So you micro-manage every tiny aspect of the operation. Stress levels increase and every team member fears making even a tiny mistake. For the controlling leader, any time you turn away, someone will be undermining your authority. Trying to steal some of your power over team members for themselves. You need to spot these interlopers early and either get them out or undermine any respect or authority they have gained. Belittling them in front of everyone can be very effective and if you can make them cry in public, so much the better. Of course, you can trust no-one, even when you place family members in their “meritocratically” assigned roles (refusing to accept that nepotism has any place in your decisions). You rally your flunkeys to police on your behalf and alter the rules and policies to tip the balance firmly in your favour of maintaining absolute power, authority and control. Honesty becomes corrupt and whilst you demand transparency from others, you never practice it outside your inner circle. The controlling leader lives in constant fear that someone else is trying to take away their power and control Yet most controlling leaders often began their career with good intentions. They became controlling leaders because it works. Well, it works in the beginning. When you are young (and perhaps foolish) your leadership approach is going to be about control and power. It seems to work. No scrub that, if you are big enough in some dimension, it works because others give in to your tantrums and belligerence and do your bidding. Because this locus of control shows signs of being effective in the short term, it can quickly become the de-rigour standard by which the leader operates. And we know that power corrupts the soul and once you have tasted real power, its addictive properties mean that nothing else can get in the way of your fix. But then there comes a point when your ego and pride get in the way of better decision making and micromana

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Recently, I spent a few days being completely cared for. I was allowed to do nothing for myself. Forced to lay in an uncomfortable bed, unable to get out being tied in via neck and arms to machines and tubes, with more tubes coming out of my body. And all the time I was intensely aware of every single passing second. Every beep and gurgle, ever waft of air and alarms, oh the alarms. My senses were hyper alert in an environment that had simply too many parts clamouring for attention. Yes, I was in a hospital. At least this time, it had been a choice. Now, I don't tell you this to garner your sympathies. All that should matter to anyone is that I am now out and recovering very well thank you. No, it's because I relearned some incredibly basic ideas about leading ourselves and leading others. Why we hate to be trapped in a bed or any environment and how our stress is made extreme by the more basic and fundamental (perceived) threats to our life. My experience this past week in the hospital will be little different to anyone in intensive care or high dependency. You have just emerged from a traumatic experience. Shock is the most useful term here. Shock to have come through, shock that things worked well, didn't work so well and shock at the discovery of each new tether to the bed. With each tube, you have lost a little more personal control. The alarms, the incessant alarms clamouring for attention. Like the front cover of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, these bid you not to panic but to keep calm. And then there are the monitors. Those glorious machines who flash and hum and beep and shriek. And of course, your readings are above and behind you. Out eye line. Noise emerges and you have no clue what it means. It just sounds alarming. You try to look around and make no sense of anything except red or yellow flashing lights. All you can see are the machines of others in the room. Of course, if you are in a private room you may have the benefit of less clamour, but then you won't have much company either. Seeing others are like you makes it just a little more tolerable. The gentleman opposite spent the night going through a traumatic and frightening instability at exactly the same time as I did. I can hear my alarms, feel my heart thumping, fluttering and pounding whilst watching his very very frightening numbers and his wretched face peering back at mine in the terror of the moment. The nursing staff, whilst not completely blase, really behave as if this were perfectly normal. Which for them, it is. They see this day after day after day. I am seeing it for the first time. There's me looking at a guy who's heart might explode in front of me, and honestly, I had no clue that your heart could clock that sort of rate and pressure and not explode. I'm not just not asleep, I am so awake that every fibre of my being is screaming at me. The nurses tell me that it is better to allow myself to become less sensitive, less worried. That my own stress is making it far worse. Of course, I know that this is true. That I am also in the middle of a panic attack, let alone atrial fibrillation, but I cannot turn off any of my alertness. Oh the blessed relief of sleep, but it never comes. I finally dropped back into sinus rhythm at 8.30 the next morning. The choice of drugs had, at last, done their job and I knew that recovery was somewhat more certain and a glimmer of hope began to emerge. I might actually make it out of here. Those of you who have been where I was, know exactly what I'm talking about. As I learned from my fellow inmates, whilst some are more sanguine having been through it before, the feelings and responses are essentially the same. You can tell on the faces of those who have just one single tube removed. Prior to this, they were as miserable and sickly as everyone else, and suddenly their whole countenance lifts. Immediately they look better. And, so long as it was a good decision to remove that tube, they remain a tiny bi

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I am an excellent procrastinator! I can put things off for absolutely no better reason than I don't feel like doing them right now. Of course, I have plenty of excellent excuses, and I believe all of them. Until I choose not to. So I force myself to do the stuff I don't really feel like doing and keep at it until I do feel like doing it. Until that moment where I can begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I learned the real origin of that phrase, by the way, in 1993. The Standedge Tunnel is the longest and highest canal tunnel in England on the Huddersfield Narrow Canal between Diggle and Marsden. I lived, at the time, right above the tunnel. It was closed when I lived there, slowly being renovated to allow pleasure boats to go through. I would often break through the barriers blocking the entrance to walk through the tunnel with visitors to enjoy this unique piece of history. Legging-boat-normal.jpgNot only is the tunnel long, it has a bend. And in the 1800's you had to "leg it" to propel your barge through. The horses would be taken over the hill to rejoin the boat on the other side. This was a hard slog and on the way from Diggle to Marsden, tired barge "leggers" would be happy to come around the bend and see the light at the end of the tunnel. I learned a couple of things from my mentor, Dr John C. Maxwell, that has helped me and many other enormously in getting stuff done. Better still, getting the right stuff done. Here are five keys to getting (the right) stuff done: Make choices Use the Pareto or 80/20 Principle Understand if it is important and/or urgent Apply the 3 R's, and Use the Rule of Five The Problem is procrastination... or is it? One of the main reasons you and I procrastinate is that we don't want to give up our options. And it's a real dilemma. Just today I had to make a choice about a sandwich to eat for lunch. If I took the steak sandwich that meant I couldn't (or shouldn't at least) take the chicken avocado sandwich. IF I do this, then I won't be able to do that. What if I make the wrong choice? What if I should have chosen differently. And then, we'll go through past decisions to guide current thinking. But the past is filled with the regrets of "if only". If only I had not started smoking when I was 9 years old, perhaps today I would not be suffering heart disease. If only I hadn't done that thing first, I wouldn't be facing this problem today. You and I battle these two enemies of making choices through every decision. Maybe you've gotten over the doubts for some things, but other matters will leave you prevaricating for hours. Ask a man to choose a paint colour from a chart. Ask a woman to choose just a single pair of shoes. So secret number 1 is that we have to make choices. There are limited time and energy available in a day. The secret to getting the right stuff done is choosing to do the right stuff! Duh, John, of course it is. But how do I choose the "right stuff"? I'm glad you asked. The second secret key to getting the right stuff done is identifying whether the thing is important and/or urgent Most clients when I ask them, tell me that they prioritise based on urgency trumping importance. That is they do the stuff that they should delete because it is urgent and then don't have time to do the stuff that matters. This leads to stress and lack of accomplishment. Great leaders know the difference between being busy and accomplishment. It really doesn’t matter how busy you are. It’s what you achieve that makes a difference. This was one of my big weaknesses. And, if I am not careful, can easily be again. I can easily get distracted by something new and shiny… especially some new technology. I am getting better, but it still requires my self-discipline and diligence to keep this up. Time and again I hear excuses from people that they didn't have time to do something. They'll tell me, for example, that their kids or their family are the most important thing in their life. They mean it to

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Beyond Blended Learning, today's leading organisations are flipping the corporate classroom. Are you going to be sidelined? Let's throw up some startling statistics. [caption id="attachment_38738" align="alignright" width="300"] Preferred format for learning in the Henley Business School 2016 Survey[/caption] The Henley Business School Corporate Learning Survey in 2016 shows that: Desire for online only executive development remains very low at less than 12% Desire for project-based l&D stays steady at 33%, similar to experiential programmes at 29% Blended learning is gaining in popularity up to 43% whilst in-classroom workshops are also gaining up to 45%. With coaching showing the strongest popularity at 66%. So why are so many corporate adding more online only programmes in a bid to save money at the expense that learners will continue to dislike it as a method? 62% corporates plan to offer online learning in 2017. Meantime, of technology assisted learning that is used, 67% are accessing via a mobile device! According to LinkedIn's 2017 Workplace Learning Report. Worldhub Learning looked at trends in 2015 showing that Australian companies at least were balancing face to face, online and on the job training noting that at least 70% of l&d involved some face to face development. Corporate Learning Strategy Trends in 2015 - World Learning Hub The CIPD in 2015 noted the trend towards more in-house programmes with significant growth in the use of in-house coaching, eLearning and on the job training. Organisations see that coaching (in-house) mentoring and buddy schemes together with on the job training and increased use of mobile learning in particular, in a blended format with face to face training will dominate as the most effective methods. So the demand for blended learning continues to increase, but will this be developed entirely in-house? If you are in the business of delivering face to face training and are neglecting the use of technology you are soon going to find yourself hunting for ever smaller scraps of work. Even the lucrative speaking business is taking a major hit with a major drop in demand for external conferences and events. So why the hype and massive investment in something that appears to be less than popular? It helps to consider a brief history of how we got here. [caption id="attachment_38744" align="aligncenter" width="800"] Technology that supports learning is evolving at an ever increasing rate and organisations are quick to adopt new tech as it becomes available. Nowadays, the choice of tech is massive and confusing and not always what learners want to use.[/caption] Back in the late 80’s and early 1990’s, the very early days of computer-based training (CBT) as it was known then, perhaps it was the novelty that made people excited to use and complete CBT courses. CBT had been around since the 60’s but very few people had their own computer and CBT was taken in classes or computer rooms with a technology teacher around who would help out when needed. Meantime, The Open University in the UK teamed up with the BBC and started broadcasting courses on TV and radio in 1971 and distance learning took off enabling students from anywhere in the world to study for a degree at home. The 80’s saw the dawn of the first Mac and the IBM PC. People began to buy and use a PC at work and at home first with Visicalc then Lotus 123. Finally, non-technically minded people could use and benefit from this technology. Everyone got very excited about how books would be replaced by computer books and the universities began to take Arpanet (the forerunner to the Internet) seriously for collaborative research. Then in August 1991 the real opportunity for what we now know as eLearning, began. Yes, Bryan Adams was top of the Billboard charts but perhaps, more importantly, the World Wide Web was open to the public. Email began to take off and CBT became eLearning in 1999. The first course delivered over the Web came from Penn

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My mum would often tell me “all will be well in the morning.” For her, it was just experience and age-old wisdom. All will be well in the morning And things always were better in the morning. Somehow, all the clutter and stress and worry, while, not gone altogether, was, at least more manageable. As I slept, my brain was free to sort through the problem, process it entirely and put it in a suitable place close to a similar experience in memory. I had learned how to resolve whatever the issue was. More often than not, it didn’t even need addressing anyway. How taking a break improves future learning It’s akin to my mum’s advice to “sleep on the problem” so that your memories can be reprocessed, consolidate and shaped for better (faster) retrieval. Taking a learning break gives your brain time and space to reprocess. And now there’s compelling new evidence from the University of Texas at Austin, recently published in the National Academy of Sciences that supports the idea that study breaks improve later learning (or as I prefer to say: not completing learning 100%) But how much is the right amount for studying and how long for a break? I’ve been researching this for some time now and unsurprisingly; the results are inconclusive. However, there does appear to be a general reduction in the active learning time for younger people. Typically, I have found that Baby Boomers study well and learn well over a 25 minute period of almost continuous study. That is; they needed a learning consolidation break at 25 minutes. Needing a 15-minute break. Gen X’ers around 20 minutes. Needing an average 13-minute break) Gen Y drops to about 12 minutes with a 6-minute break and then: Gen iY (the iPad generation) around 4 minutes (yeap, just four minutes) with a 2-minute break. All of this in non-academic learning situations, by the way. Tested for learning retention 24 hours after the learning event and 21 days later. But within every group there was a range, and it would change for an individual dependent on the mode of learning. That is, was the learning in a form that they preferred (reading, video, audio, kinesthetic, etc.). Sadly (from an academic point of view) even so-called learning preferences wasn’t a statistically significant factor. Our brain needs a break Keeping your heart beating, lungs filling, bowels emptying, brain working, feet moving, eyes open… it’s exhausting. And then you want me to do something else? When we take a break from learning, our brain can process all the information. When we are learning anything, our pre-frontal cortex (PFC) is burning a lot of energy as we evaluate the information, process it and check it against working memory. Then the new information is processed, consolidated, and linked to appropriate other memories and emotions… but for this to be held in longer term memory, it appears that the PFC needs to be less active. Perhaps because the PFC is such an energy hog, and we simply need to switch our energy resources to consolidate memories (learn). So can’t we just take a pill and learn better and faster? To a certain extent, we can! Glucose and oxygen – the fuel we need to burn to learn. (Caffeine can assist as well if recent research is correct.) So taking a moment, munching on candy, taking deep breaths and sipping that cup of coffee all help us learn… oh, I’ve just described a break And it’s not just about learning All this stuff about taking a break to improve learning is tremendously interesting, John, but I have a job to do that isn’t learning. And that’s where we need to realise that our wonderful brains are continuously working hard and burning energy. For such a small part of our body, the brain weighing about 1.5kg, consumes 20-25% of our energy. I wish I could get my gut to burn that much and consume its own fat resources, but my brain is doing this just because I am awake. A 10 minute break will make your next half an hour more productive. (Coffee optional) In fact, your brain, when you

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Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes (Turn and face the strange) Ch-ch-changes Don't want to be a richer man Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes (Turn and face the strange) Ch-ch-changes Just gonna have to be a different man Time may change me But I can't trace timeDavid Bowie What do you do when you want to change? Whether you want to change yourself or bring about change in others or your organisation. Change is difficult and sustaining change more so. To do so, we want to leverage the awesome power that is in every one of us, and that is the power of habit. Nobody likes to change Asking someone to change is fraught with difficulties. Oftentimes, we forget that as leaders and influencers we are encouraging people to change. If everything was meant to remain in the status quo, there would be no need for leadership or influence! And our brains prefer the status quo. It is known and your brain has done a fantastic job of keeping everything in this environment in the right balance to keep you alive and thriving. Change disrupts that status quo, however small that change may appear to you, to someone else it will be uncomfortable and may even be frightening. Turn and face the strange Change is uncomfortable and strange. Even the smallest change in the status quo is uncomfortable. We've gotten used to a certain way of doing things. A couple of weeks ago I was enjoying the delights of Positano, Italy. It is a truly beautiful town clinging onto the mountainside that plunges into the azure Mediterranean Sea. Positano from the Path of the Gods view Our apartment was perched high above the town and the view was truly spectacular. We had a simple choice in the morning to get into Positano town. The narrow road into town wound around the mountain with hairpin twists and turns for several miles or we could walk down the steps and be on the Grande Spagio within 700 metres. We went fully aware and ready for the steps. We had even been certain to get in "step" shape by forgoing elevators and escalators in Singapore. Even finding our very few hills and crazily to onlookers, climbing straight up and down. When we reached the beach area, thigh muscles began a little protest as we supped a welcome macchiato. At least they know how to make good coffee in this country! It hadn't been especially difficult to climb down those steps. Probably a little more effortful than the 87 floors as measured by my watch but it was uncomfortable. The 700m "walk" down to the Grand Spagio My body simply is not used to climbing up or down so many steps. Not when you live in an almost hill less island. Could I get used to it? Sure. But it would take time. How long before it becomes comfortable? Well, after a week of much walking and many more steps I was finding it to feel "normal". Had I not persevered, it would have taken much longer. And the same is true for any change in anything that we do. From a simple thing like crossing your arms in the opposite way to usual to re-organising your company: the change causes discomfort. Until it becomes the new way of doing things around here. That's the way we do things around here The biggest issue in making change happen inside organisations is: "That's not the way we do things around her." The entrenched Mr or Ms Jobsworth who feel threatened by change either because it might undermine their position, or show them up in some way. For a lot of "obstacles" whom I have had the pleasure of working with, the underlying concern about change was that they would get found out (for being less than capable in their current role, let alone any new role!) Many more people than you can imagine harbour a secret and limiting belief that they are not good enough. For a very few, it may be true, but for most, it's just humility taken too far (and usually initiated by bad parenting or poor teachers in the past.) Whatever the cause of the fear to change, if you want to sustain a change, accept that most people are not just uncomfortable with change, they genuinely

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Goldilocks is fast asleep when the bears return home. She found her perfect bed, not too big and not too soft. After eating her fill of the perfect porridge that wasnt too hot and wasn't too sweet. Goldilocks had tested the beds upstairs and fell into a deep sleep. The three bears were none too pleased with this breach of neighbourly etiquette and devour Goldilocks. Or, the Goldilocks jumps out of a window and is never seen again. Or Goldilocks explains how hungry and tired she was and befriend the forgiving bears and they all live happily ever after. Which version of the story do you believe for your life? The version usually shared with your kids probably has Mama, Papa and Baby Bear and Goldilocks escapes, is rescued from the woods by her mother and vows never to dare go in the woods again. It's the expectation that if you ever dare to find that sweet spot in your life, someone will come and immediately take it away from you for being undeserving and you can never go back to find it. And so you allow stress to build in your life. You work way too many hours and spend far longer than anyone should in pointless meetings. And then someone tells you that you must find your life/work balance as you chuckle inwardly that anyone still believing that myth is deluded. The life work balance myth I meet few people who have found their work and life balance. To most it remains a myth or a mirage in the dessert of a stressful life. We've bills to pay and children to feed. A demanding boss and impossible deadlines to meet. Who has time to exercise, eat healthy and well, play with the kids, have quality time with your partner, spend time with the family, enjoy fulfilling friendships outside work, participate in sports and be active in the community, let alone give back to society. And we all know that our time here is limited. That we are here for but a breath. There simply isnt time to have our cake and eat it. Most people I meet through my work are way out of balance. Work has taken over and become the focus of all energies. Everything else is put to one side in a pretense that one day you'll come back to it. And then something snaps. There has to be more to life than this! Work, like the big bear's bed can become too hard and like his porridge, too lumpy. It's tempting to escape out of the window and run away and become a Corporate Refugee, seeking the solace and comfort of entrepreneurship. Or you might compromise and choose to make a radical shift to do something you love and enjoy, but still pays a reasonable salary. The world used to refer to this as a 'mid-life crisis'. Only it is no longer the exclusive domain of men in their early 50's who trade the wife for a younger model and suddenly have a desire to drive a red sports car. Now it's a crisis that can hit at any age, and several times. What matters most at this point is that you choose to be at cause for your life and less at the effect of your boss. Corporate refugees Fleeing the corporate world is a desire of many. Continue doing what you do well but without the craziness of fat cat shareholders, demanding bosses and all those meetings. Instead, the lure of ëntrepreneurship tolls its bell and many set up shop. Only now there's no salary and the demanding boss is replaced by an even more demanding client (if you are fortunate enough to secure one of those!) and there's not enough money to pay people to do the drudge work. So are you an entrepreneur - building a business that employs others, or are you a freelancer? I get to meet an increasing number of young entrepreneurs who have followed their passion and desire to set up in business as a means of avoiding the corporate rat race, only to find that daddy's generosity does have an end point and suddenly the overheads and burn rate are too much to bear. Sadly, many realise too late that the skill set for running a business is not their strength and even though they are the founder, it is not always essential to be the CEO. Wit

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Stress! Do you suffer? Of course you do. How much is caused by others and how much do you cause yourself? When you really think on this, you uncover some rather painful truths about stress. Most of it is caused by yourself. Like you. I like to place demands on my performance. Far greater demands than I would ever allow anybody else. Well perhaps my wife would debate that, but I don't demand so much from other people. Like you, I have a desire to leave something of a legacy. I want to achieve something bigger than myself. Something important. Even though we all know, that, whatever you achieve in this life, you only get one sentence when you die. Lying in a high-ceilinged waiting space, strapped to a bed with wires attached to my chest, head and arms. A drip in my vein. a pressure cuff around my arm. The room was painted white and reminded me of a clean warehouse or a big garage. My mind whirs into action and I continue my dive deep into the abyss of panic. Not about death and the hereafter. No. I know for sure that I am heaven bound and not just because the bible tells me so. But because just one year prior to this, I had spent an all too brief 4 minutes and 33 seconds in the valley of the shadow of death. This time, I tell myself, If I go, I'm staying. But hang on a moment. What about the workshop participants? I'd finished day 1 of a three-day workshop and they don't even know that I might not be there in the morning. They'll all face that awful Bangkok traffic to get in and have wasted their time to come and find no-one to lead them. I have never, ever not run a workshop. Never taken a sick day. Not in 28 years have I failed to deliver. Not once. And what about the workshop next week. I'd spent 12 years fighting for a chance to serve this particular company and next week was my first chance. Seal this and I'll be set for the next 5 or 10 years. My colleague and business partner who could take over this current workshop was in the US on holiday. In the Rockie Mountains, on a walking holiday. Not even sure he'll be in cellular range let alone wifi. Oh Lord. I have no Wifi!!!! I have no roaming, and I have no Wifi. "Nurse! Nurse! Please I need wifi!" If only I can get wifi I can take control again. Inform people, get in front of this. I have just been told that I have Congestive Heart Failure. I was struggling to breathe with all the water trapped in my lungs, and I was fretting about letting my workshop participants down. Letting my new client down. Letting my business colleague down. Letting my wife down for not leaving her with a regular income stream. And there was going to be no chance of leaving a legacy if I leave this earth tonight. I had allowed myself to get overwhelmed by all these things going on. In striving to leave a legacy and do something important and the one thing that mattered right now was I had no wifi!!!! Now that's when Solomon's wisdom came to mind. Talk about chasing after the wind. I'm chasing after wifi. I got a message to my holidaying business colleague. I got a message to the HR coordinator for the workshop. I got a message to another trainer who was going to be assisting me on the workshop next week to arrange for him to take over. And, at 7.15 am my wife received a stream of whatsapp messages through the varying stages of my panic. Cheerfully reassuring her that I was alive still at that point. I fretted and worried to make sure as much as possible was covered and I wouldn't let anyone down anymore than I was being forced to do. And why? When was I going to realize that I am simply not smart enough to run my own life, let alone build this business and ministry into something that, in all humility, is a worthwhile legacy? By 8am I had given up trying to sort anything else out. I was exhausted. The blood tests confirmed that I had enjoyed another heart attack. Thankfully milder than my first one a year prior, or at least having quit smoking and become a little fitter, I was more likely to recover

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In this episode we are exploring how you can influence and motivate anyone or everyone. We're even going to learn some lessons from the President of the United States and just how he won the election. Jeff sat on a bar stool at the front of the room. He had no slides, no props, just sat and talked. Within minutes, he had everybody in the room on the edge of their seats eagerly nodding and ready to follow him wherever he went. None of us in the room had met Jeff before. In fact, none of us had a clue who he was. This quiet, unassuming man simply walked to the front and sitting on the bar stool began to speak and captivated everyone. Jeff shared why some adverts worked, and some fell flat. How some adverts tapped universal appeal, and others neglected to do so. The good news is that you don’t need to spend millions of dollars on creating a fantastic TV advert to influence people. The great news is that you can easily tap into the four universal appeals. And I'll come to those four universal appeals in a moment. You'll remember in the triangle of influence that the motivation to change is the result of the evaluation of the personal benefits gained and the personal cost in the resources required to achieve a specific outcome. Whether that outcome is buying a new toothpaste or a new car, giving our time to serve in a soup kitchen or sharing our wisdom with a stranger. We weigh up what we get from the action and what it costs us. We will then be motivated to act when our perceived benefits outweigh our perceived cost.   Influence is maths. When the perceived value is greater than the perceived cost, we are motivated to act on the change. If you know what I am likely to perceive as beneficial and what I perceive as costly, then you should find it easier to influence me. Influencing someone you know well When we know someone very well, we can influence them more easily. For example, if I want to go to a particular holiday destination with my wife, and she wants to go elsewhere, I might emphasise all the aspects of the type of holiday she desires (honestly) regarding my preferred destination. I might lay on some evidence to add credence to my interpretation such as photos, TripAdvisor recommendations and so on. If I want to buy a particular car model, and she would prefer another, I might focus on specific qualities of my chosen car that I know will appeal to her. It's not manipulation; it's just a conversation. It's something we all do, every day. We will sway or steer others towards our preference. We are in a position of influence every time someone allows us to communicate with them. Most of the time, we are unconsciously influencing entirely based on our personal bias. But that's selfish! Yes, you’re right. I am. So are you. So is the person beside you. I am, and you are. Even when someone is apparently altruistic, the reality is that they get something valuable personally from being so. What if I don’t know the other person well, how do I influence them? One of the key things to understand about influence and persuasion is that the idea that everyone is rational is a little misleading. OK, it is totally misleading. Because motivation - the desire to act on change in thinking and behaviour is not just maths. It's chemistry! Now you wish that you had paid more attention in science class, don't you. It's OK, I recorded an earlier PodCast on Hacking Motivation - and in it I share all about the Chemistry of Motivation and how you can hack it to be happier. Motivation, which is the FRUIT of influence is created in large part by the neuro-chemical, Dopamine. Known as the "Happy chemical" - dopamine is the chemical you have flowing in your brain and bloodstream when you feel motivated. In part, there is a rational, conscious process - essentially the maths I outlined earlier. But PRECEDING the maths, BEFORE the rational, conscious thinking, the chemistry is already underway. Some refer to this as the Lizard response, but it's be

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The 15 inch blade flew perilously close to my left ear and the Chef's knife thumped into the door behind me. I was told, in no uncertain terms, that my days in his pastry kitchen were over. I couldn't possibly repeat the actual words, but if you think that Gordon Ramsey cusses, I can assure you that even he has a comparatively mild turn of phrase. Chef was right of course. I was useless in the pastry kitchen. I still am. My croissants could be used to break rocks in a quarry. My shortcrust could substitute for dumbell weights. It's simple biology. My hands are too warm. Heck, I didn't even want to be a pastry chef, but I had to master every part of cooking and I wanted to learn from this Chef. I had huge respect for his talent and would take almost anything for the chance to learn. But he wasn't very likeable. He was a conqueror style and a competent jerk. In the last Leadership AdvantEdge podcast I asked what your influencing style was - and if you missed that, you really ought to pop back and listen and do the influencing style inventory. This will identify your dominant influencing style and your least dominant style. Conqueror style influencers can be seen as aggressive, power hungry and controlling. It's not easy working for a conqueror, and their positive influence can be eradicated by the fear they can induce. So what do you do, if your style isn't working well with some, or even all of the people you need to influence? You need to leverage your style and gain agility. But first and foremost, you want to make it as easy as possible for others to trust you and respect you. In this episode, I shall share how you can leverage your style and more easily influence others and motivate them to do things that matter. Let me introduce you to the Trust Respect Matrix. On the vertical scale is how much you trust me and the horizontal represents how much you respect my competence. Someone with low trust and little respect for me would consider me to be a foolish jerk. And you're not likely to be easily swayed by someone you think is a foolish jerk. So, let's say that you still don't respect my competence, but you do trust me. I have proven myself to be trustworthy to you. Something of a loveable eejit. You would find it easier to accept my influence if you trusted me, even though you have little regard for my competence. How about you actually do respect me greatly, but you don;t find me trustworthy, heck perhaps you don't even like me. My Chef was here, I had huge respect for his talent but didn't trust him to care for me, certainly not after that knife incident. If that were me, I;d be a jerk, a competent one, but still a jerk. Then there's the situation where you respect my talents and find me utterly trustworthy. That would make me a loveable star. Someone who could readily and easily influence you. Where are you in your relationships with your people? And what matters here is not how genuinely trustworthy you are, or even how competent you truly are. It is how you are perceived to be. The question is, do they trust you and do they respect you? The more they both trust and respect you, the easier it is to influence them. So how do you win trust and gain respect? It's important to remember that both of these are perceptions. It's no use saying "well they should respect me.". Maybe they should, but if they don't that's not actually a failure of your competence, it's a judgement of it. And it's no use saying, "well they shouldn't judge" either. They do and they will. Just as you judge them and me. How do you feel, for example, when you meet someone to have a chat and they just talk about me, me, me, what about me? The entire conversation is them seeking affirmation from you. They don't ask after you. And if you do voice an opinion, you are swiftly cut off mid-sentence as they bring the dialogue back to the most important person in the room, i.e. them. As you heard that description I'm sure that someone came to mind and you have a 

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What's Your Influencing Style? (And Why it Matters!)   The Captain's voice bing bonged into the silence and calmly informed us to assume the brace position. The stewardess asked us to sit down and brace. Forty seconds later everyone began scrambling to their feet. An old man blocked the aisle as he opened the overhead locker seeking his carry on. The stewardess asked him nicely, to forget his bag and move to the front of the plane. Minutes later more than half the passengers who were still on board were informed that they had just died in a fireball as the fuel tanks exploded. I resumed my seat for another round of this evacuation simulation to assess and train flight crew and emergency response to a forced landing at Manchester Airport. Officially, I was already dead, having been one of the unfortunates stuck in the aircraft behind that belligerent old man.   In times of emergency, a straightforward command approach to influencing and leading is, perhaps, the only sensible choice.   In the next round, the lead stewardess was petite and sweetly asked everyone to sit and relax. This time, they served us a typical airline meal and halfway through, alarms sounded and out of the shocked chaos, a shrill authoritative voice penetrated with absolute clarity of no-nonsense follow these instructions. If I mention Bernadette from the Big Bang Theory you'll likely get an instant understanding of just how commanding this member of flight crew was. The belligerent old man had to retrieve his carry-on of course, but this time, he swiftly moved forward. There just was no way anyone wanted to get on the wrong side of this lady. This time I got to enjoy jumping down the door slide and walking onto the rain soaked tarmac. This time, all passengers "survived" the fireball.     When there is no time for engaging people or asking politely, you can get a swifter response to a clear command. But would you want your boss to use that approach every day? I've had bosses who struggled to influence me well. And I've quit more than one job where the boss barked commands and lambasted us with insults as a means of influence. Influence, like leadership, is situational. There is no one correct style. No one way that works for all people. Flexibility in style is key to being able to influence those you will need to during your life. But because we are better at influencing people who are more like us, we tend to surround ourselves with people we can more easily influence, and those people, well they tend to be pretty well much like ourselves. And we miss the benefits of diversity and innovation when our organisations are filled with people who are, essentially, very much like each other. In this episode, I'm sharing how we tend to surround ourselves with like-minded and similar people, and why that is not in our own best interest. Then I'm going to share about the two main approaches to influence and lastly, the five main influencing styles and how you can take my Influencing Style Inventory and get your free profile report. In future episodes, I'll be sharing how you can leverage your Influencing Style and develop greater flexibility. So, let us begin by examining our inner circle...   As a leader, I attract who I am, not who I want and often not who I need

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It's more than 40 years later, and businesses and homes are awash with computing devices. There's more computing power in my watch than on that entire top floor of equipment back in the early 70's. Much has changed... except it seems there remains a divide between the techies behind that glass wall and the business desk on the outside.   At the end of 2016, Barbara Dossetter of CIO Connect and I undertook a research project to better understand the current frustrations and challenges faced by both tech and business leaders. It's something I've been doing every 3 years or so that we can continue to pragmatically address the real issues faced in the workplace and not just spout empty Ivory Tower theories.   What is particularly shocking is that those essential glass walls from the 70's are metaphorically still in place today. It seems that Business Leaders are frustrated that the techies are still not aligning the systems to the needs of the business. In the meantime, Tech Leaders tell us that they are frustrated with stakeholders (business leaders) changing their minds throughout the projects!   Could it be that these two major frustrations that cost massive time delays, significant reduction in ROI from projects and inordinate stress to both parties have the same root cause?   Isn't it time we smashed down those glass walls and Tech leaders learn to speak business unto business?   And before my fellow Techies get up in arms about this and suggest that it should be the business folk who should learn to speak tech unto tech... let me share a little secret with you. Business language hasn't changed in over a century. Tech changed yesterday. We cannot expect business people to learn the language of Tech. Respect and recognise the vast contributions and acknowledge all the excellent work, yes. But if we wait for Business leaders to learn how to communicate to tech, we'll miss this opportunity to address the challenges.   And the great news is that it will be possible to achieve the holy trinity for tech projects once we learn how to bring all stakeholders on board and keep them partnering together. On time, within budget and delivered to business needs and expectations.    But it's not solely the responsibility of the tech team. As one of my clients mentioned after reading the draft report: There isn't a single project in the business that doesn't now involve IT in some way. We need to Invest time up front on tech and business programmes to ensure that all stakeholders completely understand and that the programme is aligned with what the business wants and needs is likely to save swathes of wasted time and effort and money later.   You can download the report in the form of a PDF White Paper now.    Discover all the frustrations and issues from both the Tech and Business perspectives and what it is costing your business.   Barb and I are putting together some exciting development and consulting solutions to overcome these issues and we'll be sharing the Power Continuum Dashboard in the coming weeks as one way you can quickly and accurately assess where your organisation sits in it's maturity for the 21st century. Contact us and find out how we can help guide you, with no obligation, to break that glass because there is an emergency.

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When I was a young junior hotel manager, I knew it all. I knew everything about running a hotel, the restaurant, the kitchens, and the rooms. After all, I was studying for a degree in hotel management and had worked in every department. When a member of staff had a problem, I had a solution. When a guest had a question about something, I always had the answer. Not just any answer, I had the best answer! At the time I thought that I was a terrific leader. After all, everyone did what they were supposed to do and they did it quickly, or they faced the consequences, or I would yell louder until they got the message. I tell you, I knew every solution to every single questions, problem, difficulty. I was an excellent hotel manager and a total twat of a leader because I neglected to ask questions. Take a moment to think about one person in your life who was a great leader. Perhaps your boss, maybe a parent or an uncle. That individual who helped you grow and whom you willingly followed. I am completely certain that they asked you questions. See, there I go again, giving you the answer. So let me re-phrase that. This individual, who you remember as a great leader in your life, did they ask you questions? Are you listening, really listening? When your Doctor is listening to the slight murmurs of your heart, you know they need to listen real closely. Politicians and many bosses seem to have forgotten how to listen to the undercurrent of opinion. In this past year of 2016, we've witnessed a sea change in the world that has taken many by surprise. The rise of popularism in politics has placed Duterte in charge in the Philippines. We've seen the belligerence and nationalism in the Brexit vote, and now we have Donald Trump as President-elect of the US after a campaign that tapped into the desire of many in the US to overturn the establishment and blame anyone and everyone else for all that ails society. The more liberal voices are appalled that their society, their fellow citizens, their neighbours could be swayed by voting for expressions of bigotry, misogyny, racism and nationalism. After all we live in a truly connected and global world. Surely rationalism will prevail… but no, emotions won the day. And somehow, we are surprised. The simple fact is that the established powers that be had stopped listening to the murmuring. They didn’t like what they heard and discarded it as the mutterings of a few disenchanted people who truly couldn’t possibly believe what they were saying. Just because those in power stop listening does not mean that the feelings aren’t true. Perhaps it wasn't a real problem, but it became a problem because the leaders stopped listening because they didn’t like what they heard, It didn’t fit with their belief system, let alone their politics. The assumption in Brexit was that the citizens of the UK would realise how rational and sensible it was to stay in Europe, and anybody who disagreed was a racist, bigot or any other label of 'badness'. It matters not whether the anti-immigration argument is good or not. What matters is that no-one was listening. When I was a kid and my mum would nag me about something, I learned the art of not listening. It was a fantastic ploy. She would ask me to do some chore. I would ignore her. She might try again and again, each time raising her voice. I could easily continue to ignore her shouts until I heard movement and the threats would start. I would usually end up complying but filled with resentment and inside, I would be muttering loud enough to be heard but with the words indistinct. Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and whilst they're speaking? You're waiting with eager anticipation for a pause so that you can launch in with your opinion? Of course, you haven’t, because you are a much better person than I am. Perhaps your boss is misguidedly suggesting that you have not performed well enough and you are just aching to leap to your own defence. Or one of the pe

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"Leadership is influence" according to John C. Maxwell (Maxwell, 2010), and you can raise your level of influence with others. The Five Levels of Influence The higher your level of influence with someone, the easier it is to lead them. The 5 Levels express a way to understand and organise your leadership growth. Each of the levels build on the previous one and you can only progress to the next level once you have mastered the previous level. As you go higher it is easier to lead because your influence grows as well, as your leadership becomes more service oriented. Maxwell says it takes longer than you think to get to the top level—and many never do. At the same time, you can go down very quickly. But if you have developed the right kinds of relationships with others, they will support you through your missteps and fumbles. In this episode of the Leadership AdvantEdge, I'd like to begin by sharing about the five levels of Influence, and then suggest ways that you can raise your level of influence with the stakeholders who matter to you right now. About the 5 Levels The 5 Levels express a way to understand and organise your leadership growth. As shown above, the first level is POSITION. At this level, people follow you because they have to. Your influence comes from your position. While that’s not bad—you probably got the position because of your leadership potential—you don’t want to stay here. Leadership is about relationships and leaders will make it their business to develop them. At this level, people follow you because they have to. Your influence comes from your position. While that’s not bad—you probably got the position because of your leadership potential—you don’t want to stay here. Leadership is about relationships and leaders will make it their business to develop them. The second level is PERMISSION. People follow you because they want to. Permission is about building relationships. It focuses on the value of each person and opens up communication. Connecting with others begins with connecting with and growing yourself. Understanding that the first person I must get along with is me, the first person to cause me problems is me, the first person that must change is me, and the first person that can make a difference is me. People follow you because they want to. Permission is about building relationships. It focuses on the value of each person and opens up communication. Connecting with others begins with connecting with and growing yourself. Understanding that the first person I must get along with is me, the first person to cause me problems is me, the first person that must change is me, and the first person that can make a difference is me. Level three – PRODUCTION This level recognises that relationships alone are not enough. A leader is tasked with getting things done. Production level leaders are followed because of what they have done for the organisation. They get things done. Their credibility is based on their example. The ability to get results alone doesn’t make you a leader. Leaders are measured by what the entire group accomplishes and not by the individual efforts of the person in charge. Leaders develop their people into a team to get results. To get to the next level you must develop your people. The fourth level is PEOPLE DEVELOPMENT. Leaders become great because they empower others. They develop more leaders. "Production may win games, but People Development wins championships.” People development assures that growth can be sustained. Self-centered, insecure leaders neglect this stage in their development. Maxwell estimates that less than 1 percent of all leaders ever reach Level 5 – THE PINNACLE. We are at different levels with the people in our lives, including our family members (though I hope that you at least have a relationship with them.) Leaders at this level understand that the highest goal of leadership is to develop more leaders, not to gain followers or do work. Level 5 le

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In this episode you will recognise dysfunctions observed in your business, organisation or team and be able to remedy them relatively easily and quickly. But first, let me share a moment in my own life when my personal situational awareness was severely compromised: I was teetering on the edge of the abyss, the breeze felt like it was gently mocking and luring me over the cliff and down to the unwelcoming rocks beneath. It was so tempting to just let gravity take charge and give over to the fate of failure. I snapped out from the dangerous thinking and checked my wrist computer. I'd stayed too long hovering here, I needed to return to the surface before the poisonous nitrogen made me lose all perspective. I pressed a tiny blast of air into my jacket to lift me upward to the waiting boat.  Scuba diving is a tremendous example of having complete situational awareness Scuba diving is a tremendous example of having complete situational awareness: To enjoy the experience, you need to be trained and be completely aware of everything that is going on with you, your buddy, other divers, the creatures of the deep, your depth, your air, the time, your breathing. Oh, and watch out for that Conga eel lurking protectively under that rock. And is that a white tip or a tiger shark in the distance? And because you never dive alone, that situational awareness needs to be shared with your buddy and everyone else in the water with you. Scuba diving has the potential to show you the most awesome creatures and places on this beautiful planet and the potential to crush you. We all have, within us, that same potential. To show the world something awesome or to crush ourselves into insignificance. So what was happening to me as I teetered on the edge of that abyss being tempted to slip over the edge and dive down deep when my conscious mind should be screaming at me to avoid such danger? Why had my mind slipped into some sort of reverie - an almost dreamlike momentary lapse of concentration? The Five components of effective teams are integrated and together create this thing we call "synergy". Performance issues in teams are rooted in one or more of five distinct areas: The first is the command instruction(s) for the team. The second is shared experience. Third (and most neglected) is shared situational awareness shared values. and lastly Effective and engaging communication In each area, there are common key issues. This is not meant to be an exhaustive list of the symptoms, just an overview of the top and most frequently uncovered issues. A lack of clear direction, which can be a lack of clarity and, or lack of direction. Frequently, there are team leadership roles missing within the team. The team themselves may function reasonably well, but without leadership, they falter under pressure. Just watch any football or rugby match when the skipper is injured or sent off. Many teams work in silos, individuals or small groups working independently from the others. Sharing little information, knowledge or expertise. This situation is often exacerbated by unhealthy rivalry between team members or sub groups. The third, and often neglected factor of team cohesiveness is, shared situational awareness. Team members may cooperate, but they do not collaborate. Essentially, team members can be nice enough to each other and say that they agree, but their actions defy their words. Many teams have something of a blame culture. This is when individuals give as much or even, more time, covering their own backsides, and when anything goes wrong, it is always someone else who is to blame. Shared values are the foundation of any team. Whether it is the pride in representing country, or the simple desire to make every single day your masterpiece. When personal values are in conflict with the presumed shared values, the personal values will win out every time. When a footballer's livelihood depends on his performance in the EPL next month and nothing to do with

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In almost every workshop I run, someone will raise their requirement for empirical evidence or “solid proof” before they will commit to applying the tools and techniques that will bring them benefit. We often desire more evidence that something will work before we are prepared to commit resources to it. Being willing to trust something without certainty is a red flag to the brain. Specifically, your anterior cingulate cortex is struggling to find an amenable memory connection to success and raising your cortisol levels preparing your body for avoidance. It's like being a kid in the playground Sometimes you have to let go to move forward. At other times, you simply have to believe that someone else will hold on tight. Holding onto the monkey bars for dear life. You have to be prepared to let go, in order to move forward. (Let Go and Gain Control - episode 16) It's what you believe might, could, maybe happen that is more or less likely to be harmful or waste something you consider to be more valuable, like time or effort. Beliefs are similar to values in that they are part of our personal guidance system Beliefs often inform values, and values, in turn, reinforce our standing in regard to our beliefs. Beliefs are a critical part of what makes us who we are, but there is a distinction that I find helpful. A belief is something that we have no tangible, undeniable evidence to support. It is impossible to measure beliefs. We simply believe this to be so. Values, on the other hand, are measurable and quantifiable in some form – this does not make them all tangible, but the very fact that we place the word ‘value’ on something means that we can measure it in relation to other values. Bear with me as we delve briefly into the world of quantum physics Have you ever heard someone, perhaps yourself, say ”I’ll believe it when I see it!” Whatever this is about, from the belief in God to the belief that someone will do as they have said they will do, matters not. According to quantum physics, we have to believe it before we see it. (In fact, according to the Bible, we have to believe first, then we will see! Much like that kid holding on tight to that monkey bar, you'll find that many times you have to allow yourself to believe first so that you can do. Do whatever you need to do and then you'll see the evidence or "proof" that it works for you. Well, your belief in yourself and using these tools and techniques is critical to their success Let me take an example from the game of golf. Your belief informs your unconscious mind about any particular shot in golf – and this will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. your belief in your strategy, the alignment of the resources (people, tools, money) and that the market will respond in a particular way... It is a belief. The evidence comes AFTER the fact... never before! However much you might like to blame the tools, it is your mind that controls the club. You step up to the tee on your least favourite hole on the course. You prepare for the shot, you utter to yourself “I will make this drive, this time, it will be different, this time, I will strike the ball square on, the ball will soar through the air, and following a graceful arc it will land right smack in the middle of the fairway exactly where I’m aligned”. Your unconscious mind is informed by this belief and promptly provides you with a swing that will support your belief. How do you train yourself to do this? You spend several practice sessions building a new belief about your ‘nemesis’ hole (any hole for that matter). You visualise making the stroke, sending the ball to exactly where you want it. You do this in your mind’s eye, calmly, cool-ly, mindfully. Not only have you seen what you will see with your own eyes, you’ve heard what you will hear with your own ears, you’ve felt how you will feel having made the shot, you’ll taste victory and smell success, exactly as if you had achieved it. I’ll repeat that, exactly as if you had

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Ideas are the currency of the 21st century. The ability to communicate your ideas persuasively is the single greatest skill you need to accomplish your dreams Spreading your ideas in the 21st Century requires a 21st Century model of communication Let me introduce you to HUGS To Communicate with Impact we need to use HUGS Neuroscience research using brain scans reveals that stories stimulate our brains, enabling the speaker to connect with the audience and making it likely that the audience will agree with the speaker’s point of view. So what’s happening inside the brain? Once we know this, we can deliberately structure our communication to engage our audience and, stand a greater chance of helping them understand a new point of view. PFC Theatre Your Pre-Frontal Cortex is like a theatre stage where you direct the play. Your Pre-Frontal Cortex (PCF) is like a theatre stage. When you focus on one thing, it’s like an actor on stage. And we can keep 3 or 4 actors on stage at most at any one moment (consider how you remember phone numbers). Information from the outside world is like actors invading the stage from the wings. Information from your inner world is like audience members climbing on stage. At any given moment, millions of bits of information are vying for your attention. Getting Attention We give attention to anything unusual, new or potentially threatening. This is the role of your Anterior Cingulate Cortex (ACC). When something novel or unusual is perceived in the ACC, it triggers the production of cortisol (our main stress hormone) from the Amygdala making us feel distress. And we immediately pay attention to something threatening. Your Anterior Cingulate Cortex is like a trigger-happy guard on full alert for threats. To keep attention we want to trigger Oxytocin and Cortisol in their brain. Keeping someone’s attention We can sustain someone’s attention by increasing the tension in the story. We become anxious to know “what happens next…” Once we have sustained attention long enough we become emotionally attached to the characters in the story, we empathize with them, thanks to another neurochemical, Oxytocin (our ‘love’ hormone). And the Nucleus Accumbens triggers the production of Dopamine (our ‘Happy” chemical) when our story gives little wins of satisfaction. Making us feel happy and satisfied. If your communication is just facts and figures, Ill fall asleeppp zzzzzzz..... Most communication is Dull and Boring Because there’s no emotional connection. Just facts. When we do not connect to the facts emotionally, there’s no Dopamine to help consolidate the memory, and hence we forget most of it. And there’s no heart to facts, we don’t empathize with facts… so no oxytocin to help the audience trust the speaker. Making boring communication a thing of the past… To keep someones attention, tell them a good story To make your communication exciting and interesting, you need to tap on the way the brain works. Use the story line to increase tension to produce Cortisol and gain the brain’s attention. Increase tension to keep your audience’s interest to find out ‘what next?’ Keep their attention long enough to help your audience empathize with the characters of the story, which produces Oxytocin and thereby trust in the speaker. Make sure your characters gain little wins that bring your story to a positive ending, producing Dopamine which helps both keep their attention and helps consolidate memory of the facts within the story. Where do I start? The most impactful speakers are people who are passionate about what they are sharing. It’s the fuel on which their story feeds. You need to find your fuel. Remember the most impactful speech you ever listened to? It was a story. Remember your most loved film? It was a story. Now remember a significant event in your life. It’s your story. Start there. What next? Join me on my coaching programme “90 Days to Message Mastery” and I’ll guide you on your journey to

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All through life, Alex has always felt that other people, schoolmates, friends and later colleagues, seemed to have it easier. Dad was never quite satisfied. It was hard to live up to his standards. Aunts and Uncles always knew a cousin who was better, brighter, richer, faster. Alex, like you and me, would like to earn more, be recognized and respected. To enjoy life and have fun. To simply succeed.  Is it really so difficult? Alex wants to provide for others. Family is very important and the good of society is too, but Alex feels stuck on a hamster wheel, running from paycheck to paycheck with some left over, but it's never enough. And let's face it; the job sucks most of the time. Alex's boss rarely has a good word. Sometimes, when Alex has achieved something out of the ordinary, the boss notices, but most of the time Alex feels like the effort is unnoticed. Alex was in a rut. Where's my MOJO? For the past couple of months, Alex's has been feeling drained, both emotionally and physically. Without that 'get up and go', Alex accepted to sit down and stay. A friend mentioned a wonderful seminar that they had attended. A famous motivational guru was in town and the flyers promised life transformation and heart alignment and immediate recharge and success. So Alex forked out the high price of a ticket and went with great expectations. Oh what a terrific day it was. An atmosphere charged with promise and laughter. Alex returned home with a renewed desire to re-ignite passions and eager to progress with living life to the max.   In the day's ahead motivation surges Alex continues to feel upbeat for several days after the seminar. There's even a framed photo of Alex and the speaker with a motivational quote and signed sitting on the desk. Work seems effortless and progress feels assured until the boss sends the last customer presentation deck back with a note describing it as "unusable". Not quite the type of attention Alex had desired from the boss.   Within moment, all the encouragement and promises of the motivational seminar evaporated like a morning mist The boss referred Alex to HR to get trained in putting presentations together properly. And soon Alex was enjoying a couple of days away from the office in a fun and lively workshop.  In spite of a couple of long interruptions of teleconference calls that "just had to be done", the workshop was very good. Alex learned and had a chance to practise the skills and get feedback from the facilitator. Back in the office, Alex stared disbelievingly at the increased mountain of urgent tasks and slowly worked through them, never quite coming to the end but at least trying to use the newly developed skills. All was well until a curt email described Alex's latest presentation deck for the boss as "utterly unsuitable" and questioning the point of training someone if they weren't going to use the training properly. Alex knew that it would be a waste of time explaining that there had been no opportunity to use the skills What Alex needed now was some clear guidance on what to do next. Alex was stuck again. That encouraging feeling of regaining motivation and purpose from the seminar was gone. Alex had developed skills but with no proper feedback at work and regular guidance even the new skills weren't being used effectively. What to do now? And how do I get unstuck? Alex wanted help, but talking to a family member or the boss felt too difficult and risky. Friends, well they just seem to be caught up in their own successful, busy lives. So Alex looked online and decided to risk everything and speak to a stranger. A coach who seemed to have helped a few people in similar situations get unstuck. Some Alex contacted just tried to sell a solution; a few took the time to listen and genuinely appeared to care. However, what Alex needed was a plan to get from here to… well, somewhere a whole lot better, and someone who would be a guide on the side. After checking out a couple of potentials, Alex cho

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Have you ever wondered why it's so tough to influence change? Why is it, that with our very best intentions, we still find it difficult to make changes that we know would be good for us? It seems that it’s down to our inner elephant. I’ve borrowed the analogy used by University of Virginia psychologist Jonathan Haidt in his wonderful book The Happiness Hypothesis. Haidt says that our emotional side is an Elephant and our rational side is its Rider. Perched atop the Elephant, the Rider holds the reins and seems to be the leader. But the Rider’s control is precarious because the Rider is so small relative to the Elephant. Anytime the six-ton Elephant and the Rider disagree about which direction to go, the Rider is going to lose. He’s completely overmatched. Most of us are all too familiar with situations in which our Elephant overpowers our Rider You’ve experienced this if you’ve ever overeaten, slept in, said something you regretted, procrastinated, tried to quit smoking and failed, skipped the gym, gotten angry and lost your temper, refused to speak up in a meeting because you were fearful, and so on. Good thing no one is keeping score. Or are they? For those of you with a very large ego and oozing with pride, you are already disagreeing with me. Yes it is possible for the rider to have control over the elephant. No doubt you’ve seen circus elephants and even know that they are trained from young by being tied to a small stick. Later in life they are controlled with a nasty hook wielded by their trainer. I’ve met people who have been similarly trained from young. Their parents keep a very tight control and strict discipline. In later life they are highly disciplined and keep a tight lid on their emotions. Sure it happens. All of those I have met, are sad, lonely people. All of us have a constant tension between our Rider, and our Elephant The weakness of the Elephant, our emotional and instinctive side, is well known: It’s lazy and skittish, often looking for the quick payoff (one scoop of ice cream more) over the long-term payoff (being slim). When change efforts fail, it’s usually the Elephant’s fault, since the kinds of change we want typically involve short-term sacrifices for long-term payoffs. (We cut back on expenses today to yield a better balance sheet next year. We avoid ice cream today for a better body next year.) Changes often fail because the Rider simply can’t keep the Elephant on the road long enough to reach the destination. The rider’s intention to delay gratification is outmatched by the desire for the “just this once” payoff. The Elephant’s hunger for instant gratification is the opposite of the Rider’s strength, which is the ability to think long-term, to plan, to think beyond the moment (all those things that your pet can’t do). But what may surprise you is that the Elephant also has enormous strengths and that the Rider has crippling weaknesses. The Elephant isn’t always the bad guy. Emotion is the Elephant’s turf—love and compassion and sympathy and loyalty. That fierce instinct you have to protect your kids against harm—that’s the Elephant. That spine-stiffening you feel when you need to stand up for yourself—that’s the Elephant. And even more important if you’re contemplating a change, the Elephant is the one who gets things done. To make progress toward a goal, whether it’s noble or crass, requires the energy and drive of the Elephant. And this strength is the mirror image of the Rider’s great weakness: spinning his wheels. The Rider tends to overanalyze and overthink things. Chances are, you know people with Rider problems: your friend who can agonize for twenty minutes about what to eat for dinner; your colleague who can brainstorm about new ideas for hours but can’t ever seem to make a decision… The trouble is we think that the Rider is in control…

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You know that stress is bad for you. Yet you endure it every day. Modern life is stressful. Whether it's work, your boss, your spouse, your kids, your parents, driving or simply trying to fathom what to eat today. Your life is filled with stressors. So what can you do about it? Imagine you are visiting a theme park The best rides always have a long queue and you look with disdain at a group of ‘bullies’ who cut the line and push in front of you. Instantly your threat response fires up and you feel the urge to fight back, or perhaps give up and walk away from the spot you have been holding onto for the past hour. Most people say nothing externally, muttering to themselves about how unfair it is and what they would like to do. Yet meek and mild you keep your head down in case the ‘bullies’ turn on you. Hope – the positive expectation of future good Many people scoff at the notion of remaining optimistic in light of the “facts” presented daily in the news, at your workplace, in your bank balance. Suggesting that highly optimistic people (like me) are deluding themselves. Facts is facts right? Yes facts is facts. But, and this is where it gets really interesting… The amygdala is the emotional centre of your brain. It is well known that it responds ever so quickly to fear and anxiety. And there is another part of your brain involved: the Anterior Cingulate Cortex (ACC), which I have likened to a trigger-happy security guard constantly on the lookout for threats.

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Courage is the root of all freedom. It takes courage to dream big dreams… no matter your past, circumstances, or what others tell you. It takes courage to go after what matters. And when the going gets tough and obstacles crop up (as they always will), it takes courage to press on. Any time you go after what you really want, your doubts and fears will surface. That’s just part of the experience. You must ignore the voices that say “turn back” or “give up now” or “this is too hard.” It is courage that keeps you moving forward. It's easy to label ourselves with excuses. Especially if we believe everything (bad) that people have labelled us with in the past. So when you think about it, moving towards freedom requires daring, every step of the way. Daring to dream. Daring to begin. Daring to keep going, and stick with it until you reach your goal. And as you exercise your muscle of daring and courage, you will find freedom on the other side. And it’s the sweetness of that freedom that is worth the sacrifice it took to get there Five way to let your courage set you free Don't Label Yourself with an Excuse Be careful how you use labels on yourself (and others). If you ever say "I am a weak-willed person" or "I am a fearful person" or "I am not strong" or "I am always unlucky" or anything similar, you are labelling yourself with a past (possibly true) behaviour. Once you begin to believe the label, it becomes you. It controls you. Your tongue is like the small rudder that controls the ships direction, speak what you want to be from now. This isn't namby-pamby positive psychological babel, it's choosing to train your brain to think differently. Make Courage a Habit Courage, like fear, is a habit of thinking If you had no fear at all, you would be dead. Courageous people are doing something that they fear. Courage, like fear, is a habit of thinking. You can choose to think "I am afraid, therefore I will not". Or you can choose to think "I am afraid, therefore I will do it afraid". Choose the first and you will not do anything, get bored and eventually become a timid thing hiding in a corner somewhere. Choose the latter and sure you are going to be afraid, you might even achieve something too. Power of the First Step There is only one difficult step to take. It is the next one. There is only one difficult step to take. It is the next one. When we are faced with something fearful, two things in our brains cause us to freeze: Your particular response to something fearful for you will trigger your freeze, flight or fight response. That is, you stay still and shrink your body (dropping your head is common), or you'll start to run away, or you'll be pumped to fight the threat. How you respond to a situation depends on many factors, but in this modern society, many people freeze. Unable to hake themselves out of it until the cortisol and adrenaline pumping through their veins subsides. The second reason we freeze is due to overloading our decision-making. We can readily choose between two or three options, but as soon as you add more scenarios it can quickly overload your pre-frontal cortex. You need more energy and oxygen to get moving again. Deep breaths work wonderfully well to achieve this. The longer you stand there in trepidation, perhaps it's getting on stage, perhaps deciding to take ownership of an error made, the worse it gets. Force yourself to breathe and take action. Take that first step. Build your Pillars Hold on to the knowledge that you have overcome many obstacles already Everyone had been courageous. Many times. That moment as a baby when you stood up for the very first time. The time you raised your hand to answer a question in class. When you asked your partner on a date. The first time you negotiated with a salesman. Or you drove a car alone for the first time. There are many 'firsts' in your life, and as you think about them, each one took courage. Write down a list of them. Who helped you believe in you

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There's something not quite right. Something just isn't sitting well in your gut. You can't quite place it exactly, but there is something wrong between the words and something else. Have you ever heard the adage that communication is only 7 percent verbal and 93 percent non-verbal? Well, much of it is a pernicious myth, but there is some truth in the idea of congruence between what you say and how you say it. And when we witness a lack of congruence (in our perception) it is often that 'gut' feel, that sense of unease that causes us to mistrust what we are hearing. We've all hidden something about ourselves from others. We're all tempted to "spin" to protect ourselves from some vulnerability or difficult situation. Sure, I have plenty of hidden parts, thank you. My recent intimate relationship with death has led to a great deal of mind spring-cleaning. In so doing, I've come across three common fears that cause us to hide some of our authenticity: rejection, exposure and vulnerability. Fear of being rejected Rejection makes us feel unloved, unwanted and exhausted. No-one likes to be rejected We don’t want to let people see what we’re really like because we fear disapproval. We fear rejection. The easiest way to avoid rejection is to make sure that you're not in a position to be rejected. If I don't ask you for help, I don't have to worry that you will refuse. If I do the job myself, I only have to rely on myself. Much safer. If I don't ask for your opinion, I won't have to deal with your disapproval of my thinking. And yet. In my mind, I'll still be wondering what you think about my idea, or if you think I've done that job well. Even if I don't actually know you, but catch you looking in my direction. Why do we fear the opinions of other people, even people we don't know? Because we all have a deep, burning desire to be loved. Actually, we need to be loved. The feeling of being loved, and loving, is the result of oxytocin production. It's the hormone that encourages mothers and babies to bond. It is the hormone that increases the desire to gaze lovingly at your partner. Oxytocin induces a feeling of trust. If I think that you are rejecting me, not only do I not get a dose of oxytocin, I get an extra dose of cortisol and nor-adrenaline - our favourite stress and fear chemicals. Thus I can have a fear of being rejected that causes me to think that you are rejecting me, which increase my fear of rejection. And all I wanted was to feel loved. And what matters, is what I think you think. What I think you mean by what you say or do, not necessarily what you actually say or do. So, to be on the safe side... perhaps it's better not to expose myself to your rejection... Fear of being exposed Anyone who exposes our inadequacy is in danger of experiencing our wrath. Nobody minds their strengths being revealed. We have no problem with our positive capabilities being exposed. But when it comes to our weaknesses and insecurities, we would prefer these remain behind lock and key. Anyone who exposes our inadequacy is in danger of experiencing our wrath. Even (or perhaps, especially) when it is your spouse reminding you of something you thought was safely stowed in a black box, buried deep. I've worked with many senior leaders who are desperately concerned that anyone will find out that they haven't actually got it all together. Indeed, one of the first questions I get from senior leaders is about confidentiality. It shows a strong need to be open and honest and to dare to expose themselves to someone. We all benefit from talking about our real selves. To admit that we have weaknesses. In these days of Facebook 'friends', it's difficult to keep true and trusted real friends. And if you're used to hiding things from your spouse, you have to find someone to talk to eventually. All good news for the coaching industry but less so, I think, for society. Our pride is at stake when we are exposed. In the brain the chemical principally respon

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So the UK is getting divorced from Europe. Rather surprising with the way different age groups voted. Or rather, not surprising. Baby boomers and older and the older Gen X voting to leave, with the youngsters voting to remain. Not only has the vote divided the country in two about Europe, it's divided along generational lines too. Not another idiotic pundit spouting nonsense about maybe this or maybe that, but lets' bring this back to leadership and what it means for you in business? Back in 1975, even I was too young to vote. But, to me, it was pretty clear that the UK never really committed to the relationship with Europe because it kept sovereignty over its banking and currency. When one party is picking and choosing which parts of the full agreement it wants to keep, then there's going to be trouble ahead. The idea of a united Europe is bold. The intentions behind it are laudable and expectations were high that not only would this mean peace throughout Europe, it would be greater prosperity for all. Expectations rise in the negotiation between talent and their prospective employer too The same is true in business. When we hire people, we establish their expectations for the future and both the candidate and employer are "selling" themselves to the other party. Candidates promise sincerely that they have those incredible skills as shown on their CV. Employers might wonder how someone so young had such incredible experience and might question why someone with so much responsibility would want to leave their current position. Employers too, promise great things. The benefits and hours and career progression, training, mentoring and oh such a bright future. There's a little dance as the two playfully seriously negotiate the agreement and eventually the promise to be diligent in making the relationship work, happily ever after. And then reality comes back in to play. One day, the candidate, now staff, seems to have forgotten a particular skillset. Their vast experience of similar problems appears to have been forgotten. Their tremendous leadership capability and excellent people skills have apparently abandoned them and performance takes a swan dive. Their manager did mentor them for a few minutes, and there was a discussion about promotion but the truth was that they wasn't a suitable position and recent cutbacks meant that it would be a while before any new training would be held. What causes talent to leave? Talent expects to be paid a fair amount and equitable with what they can get outside. Well it's not the money. But it is the money! Wait a moment, so is it the money. So many respondents in surveys by the likes of HBR, Forbes and so on would make you believe that talent does not put money in their top five reasons for leaving. And that's true when I've done survey's too. But then you ask some headhunters and you find that the single most powerful thing they do to sway talent away from one company to another is the money involved. Money shows respect like nothing else. But it certainly isn’t the only thing, unless you are seriously under-paying your talent. More importantly for many, there needs to be evidence of equity and fairness in compensation and opportunities. Nothing riles us more than seeing someone else getting preferential treatment. Or someone getting something that they've done nothing deserving. Talent expects you to coach and mentor them as you promised When interviewed on exit, talent mention coaching, mentoring and training as their top reason for wanting to move on to greener pastures. Everyone is promised a personalised and structured career development plan when they join a company with a mentoring and or coaching culture to support it and plenty of training opportunities. The reality is a lot different. So they get sold the same promise down the road and quit, only of course, to find out in a while that they too don’t follow through on that promised plan and support. Talent wants to be working with th

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In this week's episode, I'm asking you a tough question: Are you using your talent? If before that I asked you what you want from your life? It's possible that you would be just like the majority of my clients and tell me that you want to be happy and fulfilled. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. And if you are using your talent, everyday, then that it going to be true. You will be happy and fulfilled. By the end of this podcast and article, you can honestly answer the questions I have at the end and decide if you want to leverage your talent in your current role. Let me start with a slightly different question: "Who's bag are you unpacking? A strange question you may think. What I'm really asking is, are you using your strengths and talents at work or are you doing something that is not your calling? Many of my individual coaching clients are going through a transition in their life. More than 70% are going through what we lovingly call a "mid-life crisis". And the saddest part about this is that it's happening earlier and earlier. Gone are the days when the mid-life crisis happened around 50, and meant that a man traded his SUV for a sleek sports car, and the wife for a younger model. Whilst those men may well have been going through a crisis, today it can be at the tender age of 27 and you find yourself in accounting (because daddy was an accountant and it's a solid career.) having studied accounting and now hating every minute of work because really you'd much rather be doing something else. Almost anything else… if only it paid as well. You see, people get trapped. They hate their job because they are not doing what they were called to do and they are not using their gifts. But the money is good enough and the benefits OK enough. And we would really like to do something meaningful, but the pay for meaningful jobs is pretty crap. You’re waiting by the baggage carousel after a long flight. You’re tired from a week of meetings, and your body aches from the airline seat. Your bag appears, and you gratefully grab it and head through the green channel to the taxi queue and head straight to the hotel. Tomorrow is a big day for you. Months of work on that project are coming to a conclusion. It’s taken more than a year to get these people in a room together. Tomorrow is your day The traffic is horrendous, and it’s two hours before you finally collapse onto the bed in the hotel room. The porter delivers your bag to the room, and you open it to unpack your suit, ready for the big meeting. Only your suit isn’t there and your prototype isn’t there. Instead, you find a roll of cash. Some fine clothes and what appears to be the keys for a rather nice car. You call the porters desk and tell them they’ve brought the wrong bag up. Could they please bring yours immediately. The porter assures you that this is the bag that you brought in the taxi from the airport You must have collected the wrong bag from the carousel Someone, somewhere has your bag. You check with the front desk just in case another guest has also checked in having arrived from the airport, and perchance is unaware as yet, of the mix up… No. Other hotels… No-one reporting anything sir… Now in panic you phone the airport. And there’s no-one answering Not that surprising really, yours was the last flight in, and it is now 2am. You berate yourself for being so stupid. For, not checking your bag. For rushing... You have a choice: You could choose to use the fine clothing that is in the bag and wing it through your presentation without a prototype to show them. You’re not certain if the clothes would fit, but with a little squeeze here and there and sure the hotel has a razor you can use. Those shoes aren’t really your thing, but better than the flip-flops you have on now. Of course, you could go out and get some more fitting clothing, somewhere, surely something is open at 2 in the morning. You could get over to the airport and check with lost and found as soon as

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Welcome to this edition of the Leadership AdvantEdge Podcast and my purpose this week is to help you confidently make your next meeting or presentation perfect, and not be anxious about it. To do that, today, I'm going to share with you how to do a premortem on your meeting or presentation by asking yourself six questions. On the show notes, I'll share a PDF and a word template that you can download and use to plan your next presentation or meeting premortem and make it perfect. I have a secret to share with you. I have a fear of public speaking. Not because I don't like to be the centre of attention, I love that. No, it's because I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I want everything to be just so, well, perfect. And because of that, every time I have to speak in public, whether in a small group or a large auditorium, I get anxious. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot anxious. And I'm not alone. Glossophobia is the official term for a fear of public speaking. Most statistics I've seen show between 21% (Psychological Medicine 2003) and 40% (Gallup 2001) of people have a fear of public speaking or performance. Only snakes appear to be feared by more people (in America). What makes giving a presentation so nerve-wracking? It's not just those who give presentations on occasion. Professional speakers and trainers too can get anxious before a presentation. We all have our tricks and tools to get around the issue and I've shared four great hacks you can use in another podcast. But there's another tool that anyone can use to help them overcome any concern, and that's a premortem. You've heard of a post-mortem, where a corpse is examined to determine the cause of death. A pre-mortem takes the same idea but examines the corpse of your presentation before you present to help you prevent its demise. Its purpose is to take your well planned presentation and shake out your own optimistic bias. We need to shake out your optimistic bias? It is estimated that less than 35% of presentation achieve their desired outcome. We have an inbuilt optimistic bias that causes us to ignore baseline data even when it is contrary. We believe in our own skills, abilities or experience and that we will be different and succeed. We believe that they (the audience) will know what they need to do once we present the facts. Gary Klien suggested the idea of a pre-mortem to help organisations improve the success rate of projects. The procedure is simple and I have adapted this to help you improve the success of your presentations. What is a successful presentation? Better still, what makes a perfect presentation? To answer this we have to start with the purpose of a presentation and that is to influence others to change and act. You might be, for example, sharing a new idea with your audience. The change is that the new (without a k) becomes knew (with a k). Now, what do you want the audience to DO with that idea? Surely you desire that they DO something with the new idea? If not, why are you presenting it? A successful presentation then, is one where the audience acts on the information or opportunity. Indeed, that would be perfect. And if they are to act, then we need to be very clear to ask the right questions. Six questions to make sure we successfully get the audience to act. I'll bet that you, like me have sat in way too many meetings that had no actions. You're probably heading out to one today. So if you’re the host, take just five minutes and ask yourself these six questions. Imagine that it is the end of your presentation. You planned it very well but it seems that the audience simply didn’t do what you wanted them to do. It was, in terms of presentation success, a flop. The right questions come from knowing what might derail us. To know that, we have six: What, specifically, did I want the audience to DO at the end of my presentation? Why, specifically, did I want to achieve that? What happened that prevented me from getting it? What would have happened if I d

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Why is it so difficult to make yourself heard? When you're in IT, the chances are pretty high that you are quieter than your non-IT colleagues. You are probably more introverted than they are and you might even be regarded as being a little bit quiet. Nothing wrong with being quiet. It has worked for you pretty well. But there comes a time when you need to be sure that your voice is heard There are three things that you can do to make yourself heard Turn up the volume Slow Down Borrow my Confidence Have you ever noticed how a Brit makes themselves understood in a foreign country? That's right, they speak louder and enunciate more clearly. I said that they EEE NUN SEA ATE MORE CLEAR LEE. Do you recall the last time that you were in a busy restaurant and there was one person whose voice could be heard across the room? One of those loud, penetrating voices that cut through all the chatter You couldn’t help but listen in and then you simply could not tune them out. You tried to focus on the person you were dining with, but that voice just took over. Most people speak quietly. Softly. Almost inaudible. Even more so when they are feeling a little intimidated. Say, in a meeting with those more domineering Western style managers, all of whom seem to be vying for the attention seeking prize. It's as if they all have neon signs flashing "look at me! Pat attention to me!" over their heads. Then you get up to present your project update and suddenly everyone finds their phone so much more interesting. When they get up to speak they're brimming with confidence, and speak, up. You get up and speak normally, after all, there's no need to SHOUT is there? So tip number 1 is turn up the volume. Volume in speaking comes entirely from the air in your lungs More air means more volume. So you want to take deep great big lungfuls of the stuff. In through the nose and out through the mouth as you speak. Big deep breaths. Now, you will notice that as you need to breathe in more deeply, that there is a pause in your speaking. It is impossible to speak as you breathe in. (Ok, some people can do circular breathing but you’re not one of them.) As you breathe in you are pausing, not speaking I want you to slow that down just a little more. Pause just slightly longer than you feel is comfortable. Now a little bit longer. And now, as you speak, I'd like you to slow down some more. This is going to feel awkward for you. You think that it is too long and too slow. Not so. Very very few people pause too long and speak too slowly. Those that you know who do, don’t their words just drip with wisdom? Yes, they do. It's considered thought. The chosen words are powerful and most importantly, you heard every single one of them. So as you breathe in through your nose, breathe it deep into your belly and then let plenty of air cross your vocal chords as you speak from your diaphragm (right from that spot just under your ribs in the middle of your torso. Think of speaking from that spot and sending your words to the back of the room and beyond. Tip 2, I've already mentioned and that's to slow down. So as you speak with more volume from your diaphragm, halve the number of words per minute. You'll be aching to speed up. Desperately thinking that this is way too slow. It's not. It's just right. But I'm not used to this. I have a quiet voice. Always have. Nonsense! You yelled as loud as any baby demanding attention from your mum. But when I get excited, I speed up and run out of breath So do we all, if we don’t pay attention to our breathing and pace. Catch yourself and simply repeat what you said at half speed. Don’t worry, they probably didn’t hear what you said the first time anyway, so you won't be repeating something they already heard. Slow down some more. Now stand with your head held high, your feet firmly planted on the floor Your hands dropped straight down by the sides, breathe deep into your belly and out through your mouth. Speak deeply from your diaphragm send

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This is a story of two leaders. We worked with the organisation on team leadership because one of their sales teams was "highly successful" and another was "doing poorly, with a very low morale". The organisation wanted us to "find out what's working in [the high-performing  team], fix the [low-performing team] and run a training programme for all the other sales teams to  be as good as [the high-performing team]." Ann, the leader of the high-performing team had joined the company 5 years previously as a  sales representative. She was good at her job and always exceeded her targets. She was  promoted to team leader after 3 years and had infused her own enthusiasm, determination and  will to her team. Her team members were happy, hard-working and also successful, most  exceeding targets. Joe, the leader of the low-performing team had similarly joined the company 5 years previously,  though as sales team leader. Joe's team were, by contrast, unhappy and unsuccessful in  achieving targets. This had been the case for all 5 years. The team members had changed  frequently over, this time, only one member remained from the original team that Joe took over. Ann was enthusiastic when we spoke with her about her success. Saying "It's great to have  such a wonderful team. I enjoy working with them and we're doing well." She went on, "My  boss is great, really believes in me and lets me run things the way I want. I like that, and I try  to treat everyone in the team the same way. When they are down about something, maybe  their kid is in trouble or sick, I let them take time out if they need to, so long as the work gets  done sometime, it doesn't 'have to be 9 to 5. I trust them to make up the time, and they do,  and more!" Joe was belligerent when we spoke, "I have tried everything possible to make these people  work harder and make target. They're always moaning that their kid's sick or they have to visit  the doctor. Always skiving off, taking toilet breaks, going for coffee. If I turn my back for one  instant, they're gone." When prompted, Joe continues, "My boss is pretty useless. Only ever  comes round at the end of the month to [tell me off] for not making target. To be honest, I'm fed  up, I don't 'think I'll ever get this team to perform and the stress is making me sick." There are, of course, several things here we could expand on, but what was clearly apparent  was that Ann's boss believed in her and she, in turn, believed in her team and their abilities, that  she could trust them and that they would deliver. Joe's Ann's boss believed in her and she, in turn, believed in her team and their abilities, that  she could trust them and that they would deliver. Joe's boss, didn't appear to be that  concerned for Joe and didn't help. Joe, in turn, trusted staff to 'skive' and believed that she  would never get the team to perform. When someone else, particularly someone in authority over you (a leader, parent, boss,  teacher) believes in you and your abilities it helps you to believe in yourself and your team.  What you believe on the inside, becomes manifest on the outside. This is usually the attitude  that you portray and the way you communicate. It saddens me that quite a number of clients I meet who have had someone steal their self-esteem at some point in their life. Be it a parent, a lousy teacher or a bullying superior. The good news for many is that it has helped them to turn victimhood into victory. Making sure that they never do that to someone else. But not everyone has someone who will help build them up. And, unsurprisingly, those who, like Joe, tend to believe the worst of everyone, were themselves robbed of their self-esteem earlier in their life and career. The great news is that you can turn it around, by appreciating your own value, your own core strengths and choose to edify yourself. The quickest and most effective way to build yourself up is remarkably simple. Believe in someone else today If, by some chance you

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Do you believe that to succeed you just have to be lucky, Or perhaps you believe it's all about your own hard work? No, then perhaps you think it's down to having the right connections. After all, the saying goes, it’s now what you know, it’s who you know. "Luck" hints to us that all good things are the result of chance. Some people are lucky, some aren't.  Or so the conventional thinking goes. But the truth is, fortune isn't found in a four leaf clover or at the end of a rainbow. Good luck follows hard work. It may seem that the people who get “all the breaks” do so effortlessly, but when you look deeper, you will find effort, persistence, and determination. In other words, “lucky” people reap opportunities because they've worked hard to get where they are, not because circumstances have magically lined up to give them a smooth ride. So often, “lucky breaks” in life have actually come about because you have worked diligently, and often unglamorously, to achieve your goals. In other words, good luck doesn't come to you… you must go to it. And that’s why the key to being lucky isn't chance. It’s good, old-fashioned, roll-up-your-sleeves-and-make-it-happen work. M. Scott Peck in ‘the Road Less Traveled’ starts: “Life is difficult”. What is most surprising, is that, for many people, this is a revelation! Go to any business networking event, or meet a potential client – especially during the current economic situation and they will be moaning incessantly about the enormity of their problems, burdens or difficulties as if life should be easy. Perhaps you are struggling on your journey to achieving your ‘success’ and you may be suffering the consequences of one or more of the nine common delusions about achieving success. Depending on how much you believe your ‘success’ is down to what you do (cause) and how much is down to external forces over which you have little or no control (effect) determines where you might be: It’s impossible! Particularly for those just embarking on their journey, ‘success’ is a place far away. We may have wonderful dreams about it and a delightfully crafted goal. But as the days, weeks and months go by and ‘success’ doesn't appear to be any closer, many people throw in the towel. More budding entrepreneurs than I can recall have given up – life without a salary is just too tough. When we've given up because ‘success’ is impossible, we’ll then criticize it. Anyone who achieves success whom we deem less worthy is the subject of our scorn and contempt – “they don’t deserve it!”. It’s a mystery to me… If we survive the ‘impossible’ stage, seeing others achieving yet success continues to elude us we search for the secret. We need to find the magic formula, the silver bullet or the golden key. Returning to that bookshop to find ‘the’ book that will change our lives. So many promise that you can achieve success in business, life, management, health, diet and they are snapped up. Business people are constantly looking for quick fixes to problems: To sell more, we need the sales messages and techniques that instantly convert a cold call into a lifelong customer. To produce more, we need the unique leadership skills that magically and massively increase performance. To maintain shareholder value we need to increase profitability by increasing sales and reducing costs simultaneously. Either that or we cook the books to make it look as though we did. Lady luck? OK, so there’s no absolute secret to success. Sure we can learn from others, but they didn't really do it instantly, it took time. But essentially, they were in the right place at the right time. No more than luck.So if success is down to luck – all I can do is hope for it. One day my ship will come in. Next year, when the current economic crisis is over. The dice will fall my way. May as well buy lottery tickets.If you've waited for ‘lady luck’ long enough and still on the journey, by now you may believe that luck only comes to those who create it for themsel

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“True heroism is remarkably sober,  very undramatic.  It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever the cost, but the urge to serve others whatever the cost.”Arthur Ashe

I've been working with a client this past week who's something of a maverick. A rebel. A person who has a different opinion and ideas about the way forward. It's a joy for me to work with someone so intent on making a real difference and not content to follow the way things have been done in that particular organisation for years. Because the organisation is in a bit of a rut. They're not growing, they're stagnating. And before long, they could easily simply die out. This leader has passion and believes that, with a few changes, things could be different. That there is life in the old dog yet. But no-one wants to change. Whispering and worry abound in the company, everyone knows that there's problems. That margins have been squeezed, that the market is drying up and they could easily become obsolete. They know this. They understand this. Yet, this leader, my client, is struggling to be heard. Anytime he rises to offer a possible solution, it is rejected out of hand as being too new, too risky, too dangerous. After all, that is not the way we do things around here. He faces tension from all directions, the company leadership, his peers and the staff: but in different ways that I refer to as Tall Poppy Syndrome and the Madras Crabs. The old guard resent his new fangled ideas. They see this upstart as a tall poppy in the management team. The younger staff keep their heads down and seem fearful of supporting any proposal that wins such disfavour. There's a tall poppy in every workplace . They're the people who seem to have it all. Whether it's looks, talent, success or simply they got what you deserve. Resentment can soon build and, left unchecked, turn into abject misery. What would you do in the same position? You are certain that you know how to turn things around. Do you push back or do you back off? When should you push back? Are you telling them what they NEED to know rather than what they WANT to hear? Then you should push back. If you know that time is running out, you should push back (heck, if you’re right, then maybe the business won’t exist so you’d lose your job anyway!) I love this phrase about time running out: The broken glass on the ground is from the window of opportunity that was slammed shut.

The broken glass on the ground is from the window of opportunity that was slammed shut.

If you have been entrusted with a responsibility and are having difficulty, it is better that your boss knows about it and has the opportunity to help you rather than fail miserably alone. Push back Or should you back off If you’re promoting your own agenda. Doing your own thing. If you’ve said it a couple of times and they don’t seem to catch on… they probably don’t want to catch on…. Back off. Have I already made my point?

“You do not lead people by hitting them over the head – that’s assault not leadership.” – Dwight Eisenhower

Does my request exceed my relationship? I was working with a Malaysian company and the Chairman’s son and daughter were in the ‘high-potential’ group I was coaching. And as is quite common when such situations occur, they had an air of superiority because of their relationship with the big boss. Quite often they would both step beyond normal boundaries in their relationship with their direct bosses, which was inappropriate. Not only is it inappropriate in that they were trying to abuse a family relationship, but by stepping beyond the relationship level with their direct boss, they were actually antagonizing their own direct bosses who would often respond by deliberately undermining their power whenever they could. They were not making friends and influencing people, rather they were building a culture of nepotistic favour and would become reliant on positional power in the future. Now I pushed the matter with them both and the cha

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Are you at Cause or Effect? One of the most common issues faced by people in their lives and leadership is: life happening. John Lennon's famously said

"Life happens whilst you're making other plans."

Some of you are going to like this, others won't like this one little bit. Essentially, you have a choice. A very simple choice. You can choose to create their future, or you can accept the one that you get. Moving from effect to cause "But..." I hear you about to interrupt... there are no 'buts'. Sorry about that. Yes, it is true that other people, the world, the circumstances around them may well prevent them from achieving their goal. So what are you going to do about it? Can you cause the world do something different? There are many things that you cannot change... the weather for example. So the answer is…. overcome the problem. Can you make another person do whatever is necessary? Neither you nor anyone else can directly cause them to do something, though you can influence them. "But..." I continue to hear... There are no buts. You choose to act to overcome the obstacle. In any given situation, we start with a choice. We can act to make something happen, or, we react to the external situation. Both appear to start the same way. Yet, they start a cycle that is either virtuous or destructive in the long term. Most people who are motivated towards achievement are likely to be in the creative cycle. Those of you who are more motivated away-from things that you do not want, will be in the survival cycle. When you are at effect, you react to something external to you (or something that you believe is outside your control). Your primary purpose is to protect yourself (or your people). Your personal values and beliefs will determine what you see as obstacles, both conscious and unconscious and these influence your choice to address or avoid the obstacles. In the survival cycle, you will try to avoid the obstacles in your path to reacting to the external 'threat'. And, as you try to avoid them, you will adapt or assimilate your reaction to do so. As a result of obstacle avoidance, your result is likely to be less than optimal. Most often the result achieved is not really the desired result. This leads to disappointment and your survival vision... "I have to"..."I must..." in order to survive. On the other side, you can choose to take action. The desired end result could be considered to be exactly the same thing, and the external environmental pressures could also be exactly the same as for the person who 'reacts'. It's a mindset choice that makes the greatest difference here. In the creative cycle, your purpose is to discover potential and possibilities. You take action and come across the self-same obstacles. But instead of trying to avoid the obstacles, you address them. Experimenting and testing to find the best way to overcome the obstacles. When you find the optimal way to address the obstacle, you gain your desired result and CELEBRATE!. You have a creative vision... "I like to..."..."I want to..." Survival cycle strategies that we employ (and we all employ them at some point) are often developed early in life and were originally a creative response to a situation. It worked then and achieved the desired results then. Later in life, we continue to use the same response yet circumstances have changed. A common example of taking an early life response and applying it in later life that I come across frequently is when a child's parents use punishment as their primary means of maintaining discipline at home and as their primary means of getting the child to do certain tasks or chores. This often means that you may be choosing to be at cause, and using the creative cycle, yet those obstacles, well they turn out to be insurmountable... so you avoid them instead, adapting and assimilating, true, not getting the optimal result but, life really does happen whilst you are making other plans. Do you want to be at cause for your life,

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When we ask this question in our workshops, we are usually met with blank  stares at first. I call them ‘blank stares’ because to be looked at as if you  are completely off your trolley isn’t something I choose to reinforce. The first response from that first brave soul suggests that there is no need to  influence oneself. Basically, it runs like this: I decide to do something, I  tell myself to do it, and I do it. No influence is required. I don’t have to ask  myself nicely, or threaten myself with unpleasant consequences, or  persuade myself that it will be worthwhile. Really? If we could slow down  the thought processes going on, you might think differently. Let’s take a slightly different approach. I suspect that you have, inside  you, at least two ‘voices’ - the pro voice and the con voice. The optimist  and the pessimist. The good and the bad. You may have more, you may  not consider them as ‘voices’ - that’s OK, I hope that you can work with  me on the concept for a little while.   Let’s say that this is two radio stations, 55.5 and 66.6. The first station on  55.5 is supportive - bolstering your ego, always proud of you and your  achievements. The second, on 66.6 is the doubter, always casting doubts  in your mind, running you down, always suggesting that others are trying  to get you, that you should not listen to 55.5, it always lets you down -  you never realise the dreams that 55.5 suggests. 66.6 reminds you of the  difficulties you had the last time you tried to do this or that. How nothing  ever works for you, that it’s all about luck and fate and chance and that  you just are not a lucky person. If you buy a lottery ticket, you will always  miss by one number at best. That nobody else deserves to win anything  either. Basically, this is a bad voice. I can see some of you nodding your heads as you read this. Don’t worry,  you’re not schizophrenic - this is normal, everyone has this going on.  Some days it’s like a continuous debate, others, one or both are quiet with  little to say. You know you have a problem when you cannot distinguish  between the voices and which of you is real. So, which station do you tune into? Here’s the two stations output for a few common golfing scenarios… 66.6 Approaching the first Tee on competition day: ‘Well, it’s a lovely morning  with plenty of gusty breezes to knock your ball off centre, and a touch of  rain in the air, but very unpredictable whether it’ll rain now or later. You did  some good practice yesterday but you know it’ll all go to pieces today  don’t you? You know that you always screw up on the first drive and  there’s no mulligans today. See your competition today, wow, that first  group were good weren’t they. No chance you’ll keep up with them is  there. Still, perhaps you can just enjoy the game for a change and not  worry about winning or losing - after all you know you’ll lose, so why get  your hopes up? Ridiculous game, I don’t know why you bother, should  have stayed home and cut the grass. be more useful than out here, being  mocked by your friends… oh no, talking of which, there they are, why do  they have to come and watch my first drive. They’ll cough or chatter  just  as I’m lining up, I know they will. Oh well, my turn now, what a disaster,  prepare for the worst and don’t get angry… First Tee shot: So nicely lined up, but then anyone can put a ball on a tee  can’t they. Now settle down, breath, how’s the grip - that instructor why  did he have to change my grip, it won’t work. Right align my feet, look up,  look down, those people down there, are in my line, why do they have to  stand there, don’t they know they could be hit… calm yourself, that’s  right, may as well get calm now, because once you hit it there won’t be  any calm left, And if you screw up this drive, it’ll all be downhill for the  whole day. never recover, so get this right. Wiggle the bum, yes nice,  settle, legs bent just right, what if my weight shifts before I strike then hit  those

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Size Doesn’t Matter; Impact Does When you think about thought leaders such as Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, or even Oprah, it’s tempting to conclude that YOU couldn’t make very much of an impact in the world like they have. After all, they are special. They are “big”. I couldn't possibly do what they have done! And while you may not be Mother Theresa or the Dali Lama, you are NEVER too “small” to make a real difference in the world. Because the truth is, you don’t need to be famous or lead an historic movement to have an impact. You just need to do what needs doing in your corner of the world. Too often, we talk ourselves out of taking a stand or making a contribution because we tell ourselves it won’t matter, or that no one will notice. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, ordinary people around the world make the GREATEST impact in the lives of others. You can’t put a price on teaching a child to be kind and empathetic. Or spending time with an elderly person who has no family. Or feeding a single mom and her children who have fallen on hard times. Think of someone you know who makes a real difference in your life. Are they famous? Probably not. When you think of ways you can make an impact, you don’t need to be big, world-famous, or change the course of history. You just have to believe in the value, significance and influence you have on others. And then go out and share it. Do you want to impress or impact people? Making an impact on people takes time and effort to build and maintain a closer relationship. Impressing followers can be done with little or no relationship. All we need is the will to be involved and to leave a memorable impression on followers. It can be done at a distance – a concert, a convention, a conference, heck you can impress on YouTube or Facebook, even a tweet. Influencing followers can be done with some relationship. Influence requires the will of the follower to be involved. The follower must want to be influenced by the leader and this usually involves a connection between leader and follower. Impacting followers can only be done through an intimate relationship. Both the wills of the leader and follower need to be involved. They agree to accountability and growth usually “up-close and personal”. It is time to shift paradigms. Especially for our younger future leaders. They don’t want a “sage on the stage”, they want a “guide on the side”. As leaders who desire to impact others we need to follow Dawson Trotman’s axiom, “More time with less people equals greater impact for everyone.” To truly impact people, leaders need to coach and mentor others effectively for organisational and individual results. My challenge to you is to become a true leader to the people you serve.

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I watched a movie recently about a Michelin Star chef, it's called Burnt and the movie is quite good and somewhat realistic, certainly in the way the chefs behave under pressure. It reminded me of my early career in the kitchens and some of the Chef's I had worked with. Superstar Chefs are renowned for screaming vulgarities, throwing tantrums and punishing staff for any wrong-doing, perceived or real. And with sharp knives and live flames around, you learn to quickly obey. As the saying goes, if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. In my own experience, chefs use coercive power to achieve what they require, with the excuse that any other form of leadership simply takes too long. So what other sources of power can a leader utilise when they want to motivate others and get them to do things that matter? This week I want to help you understand five different sources of power in the workplace and how you can build a more sustainable source of long-term leadership power and gain influence. People follow powerful people Leadership and power are closely linked even though leadership is NOT about power or position. People follow people who are powerful. And because others follow, the person with power leads. [player] You can Download the Report and Template here   But leaders have power for different reasons. Some are powerful because they alone have the ability to hire or fire, others may give you a bonus or a raise. Some are powerful because they can assign you tasks you don't like. Yet, while leaders of this type have formal, official power, their teams are unlikely to be enthusiastic about their approach to leadership, if these are all they rely on. More positively, leaders may have power because they're experts in their fields, or because their team members admire them. People with these types of power don't necessarily have formal leadership roles, but they influence others effectively because of their skills and personal qualities. And when a leadership position opens up, they'll probably be the first to be considered for promotion. Do you recognize these types of power in those around you – or in yourself? And how does power influence the way you work and live your life? Five sources of Power One of the most notable studies on power was conducted by social psychologists John French and Bertram Raven in 1959. They identified five bases of power: Legitimate – Power that comes from the belief that a person has the right to make demands, and expect compliance and obedience from others. Reward – Resulting from one person's ability to compensate another for compliance. Expert – Power that is based on a person's superior skill and knowledge. Referent – The result of a person's perceived attractiveness, worthiness, and right to respect from others. Coercive – Comes from the belief that a person can punish others for noncompliance. When you are aware of these sources of power, you can better understand why you're influenced by someone, and decide whether you want to accept the base of power being used. Recognize your own sources of power. Build your leadership skills by using and developing your own, appropriate sources of power, and for greatest efficacy. The most effective leaders develop and use referent and expert power mainly. To develop your leadership abilities, learn how to build these types of power, so that you can have a positive influence on your colleagues, your team, and your organization. The Five Bases of Power Let's explore French and Raven's bases of power according to these sources. Positional Power Sources Legitimate Power A president, prime minister, or monarch has legitimate power. As does a CEO, a pastor, a policeman or a fire chief. People holding these formal, official positions – or job titles – typically have legitimate power or auhtority. Social hierarchies, cultural norms, and organizational structure all provide the basis for this type of power. But it can be unpredictable and unstable. If yo

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Carol Dweck’s excellent book on Mindset shows us that there are two dominant mindsets that people choose to believe of themselves and about learning and growth. Anyone, who is involved in any learning and growth, will recognise these two mindsets. The diagram here represents the two types of mindsets, and I’ll sure you’ll recognise the attitudes of many people you know. Download the Learning to Learn Workbook here Growth Mindset Let’s first take a look at the Growth Mindset: Individuals who hold the Growth Mindset believe that intelligence can be and is developed that the brain is like a muscle that can be trained. With this belief is the desire to improve. To improve, firstly you embrace challenges, because you know that overcoming challenges makes you stronger. No matter what you decide to do, there will be obstacles. For the growth mindset believer, external setbacks do not discourage you. Your self-esteem and self-image are not tied to how you look to others or your success. You see failure as the best opportunity to learn. Thus, either way, you win. You don't see the effort as something useless to be avoided but as necessary to grow and master useful skills. No-one truly enjoys criticism or negative feedback, but the Growth Mindset individual integrates feedback that has genuine worth as an opportunity to change and learn. Negative feedback is not seen as a personal attack, but for what it is; feedback. The success of others is seen as a source of inspiration and information. To Growth Mindset individuals, success is not seen as a zero-sum game. Growth Mindset individuals will improve because of this, and this creates positive feedback loops that encourage them to keep learning, growing and improving. Fixed Mindset Let’s have a look at the Fixed Mindset side: Those, who hold these beliefs, think “they are the way they are”. This doesn't mean that they have any less desire for a positive self-image than anyone else, and they do want to perform well and look smart. But, to achieve these goals... Challenge is hard, and success is not assured, so rather than risk failing and negatively impacting their self-image, they will often avoid challenges and stick to what they know they can do well. Obstacles face everyone but the difference with the Fixed Mindset individual is that obstacles are seen as external forces that get in the way and are either avoided (leading to sub-optimal results and usually, blaming others) or are the 'excuse' for giving up. When effort is required, and your view is that effort is unpleasant and rarely pays dividends... what's the point in exerting that effort? The smart thing, to do then, is avoid as much effort as possible. Negative feedback tends to be ignored because the Fixed Mindset leads you to believe that any criticism of your capabilities is criticism of you. This is discouraging to the people who are giving you feedback and after a while, they stop giving any negative feedback, further isolating the person from external influences that could generate some change. Other's success is used as a benchmark to beat yourself with. Success, in this worldview, is put down to luck or unprincipled actions. Some will go further and deride another person's success finding juicy gossip to attach to them when their success is being lauded by anyone else.   The result is that they don't reach their full potential, and their beliefs feed on themselves: They don't change or improve much with time, if at all, and so to them this confirms “they are as they are”. Download the Learning to Learn Workbook here

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FEAR is the number one reason that people never achieve their breakthrough to success. Yes, we can blame other people for not giving us the chance. We can lament that we took the wrong course. We can express concern about the uncertainty of obtaining that success, and maybe, just maybe I'll look stupid. In short, our fear comes down to two enemies. Our uncertain future and our excuses from the past. Or. More simply: "what if" and "If only".   What if/If only When you have a goal worth achieving, you will need to achieve breakthroughs. Breakthroughs that take you outside of your comfort zone and going outside your comfort zone is fearful.   So what can you do to ensure that you create the necessary breakthroughs that will lead to your dramatic transformation? And we have to conquer two enemies: “What if” and “If Only” And each requires you to do two things: Take courage Get off your ‘but’   Take courage Let me share a brief personal story: Known as the Swiss Wall, La Chavanette at Avoriaz is one of the most dangerous ski slopes in the world. It is a disturbingly steep, mogul run and the slope gets icy quickly, turning the area between moguls into ice sheets. Not making a turn in these situations means that you miss the next mogul, and pick up too much speed to make the next one after that, starting off a tumble that ends a couple of hundred metres down the slope, while hitting a few dozen icy bumps in the course.   A number of years ago, as a reasonable, but by no means good skier, I decided that I just had to conquer this slope. Why? Well, I can only now think that it was a moment of sheer madness. At the time, however, I just wanted to prove to myself that I could do it.   Standing at the top of the slope, I looked down the 40 degree slope with considerable fear mixed with trepidation, mixed with determination and a whole lot of cortisol and adrenaline pumping through my body. I took about 5 minutes to muster up the courage. To launch myself off the edge.   It was exhausting, knee jangling, hard concentrated deliberate movements. Desperately remembering to keep my weight down the hill and my edges as loose as I dared. Turn after turn after turn after turn. Around one mogul, push off, turn, shift weight, edge, again and again and again. Endorphins took over from the adrenaline to mask the pain in my legs and screaming lungs.   Finally, after what seemed an eternity, I arrived at the bottom of the slope. My legs like jelly, my heart racing tears from the icy wind streaming down my face. Every fibre of my body was pulsing with electricity and sheer, unbounded joy as dopamine filled my entire being. I was alive, I had done it. I hadn’t fallen. I had conquered the wall.   I hadn’t been fast. It hadn’t been elegant. But it had been me.     FEAR is the #1 issue when it comes to making a personal breakthrough.   FEAR is what you FEEL when your Amygdala (the emotional centre of your brain) considers that there is a threat to you and signals the production of Cortisol. Cortisol floods your blood stream and informs your heart to beat faster, your lungs to pump faster, your legs and arms to prepare to run or to fight and since all this demands energy, your digestive system is shut down. What you FEEL is warmer, you’ll perspire more due to the energy in your muscles and faster heart beat. You have “butterflies” in your stomach as the digestive tract is closed for business (heck who needs to digest food if you are about to be eaten…   Only, you are not about to be eaten. It’s highly likely that you are not about to die, nor about to get injured. The amygdala response is a primitive and essential trigger for survival. But it is very poor at distinguishing between a real threat to life and limb, and one that might possibly hurt your pride. It’s the same cortisol induced response. Your amygdala is essentially like a sentry guard checking the external environment and your own thinking process for the slightest sign of a threat to you. It is a

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Let me start by telling you that I have found the secret to success is not a 20 step process. It's not even a ten-step journey. No, not even seven steps to success. It's three steps. Seriously. After all this time and experience I've stumbled upon the secret to success, and it is a three step process! That's it, just three. And it's not going to be a secret for long. But before you get overly excited it's not a shortcut, nor is it a silver bullet. But it is a simple three step process. Why are there No Shortcuts? As I look back on my life, I finally begin to see a pattern emerging. You see, if you looked at my CV (resume for those of you preferring American English), it's rather difficult to make sense of all the, rather odd, directions my career appears to have taken.

The term "chef" is a little grand for my first real job. More chief pot washer and floor scrubber than chef exactly.

If you already know me, then you almost certainly know that my first career was as a chef. Well, perhaps the term 'chef' is a little grand for my first real job that was frying eggs and bacon, peeling potatoes, washing pots and scrubbing floors. I did, later train as a commis chef, became a sous chef and became a head chef. I also did my stints behind the bar and waiting in the restaurant. You see, while I had some abilities in cooking, no one was going to allow me to run a kitchen until I understood what was happening in all parts of the kitchen, and to know my diners. I went to University to study hotel management because now I wanted more than a kitchen. I loved being front of house as well. I enjoyed running back of house too. My industrial placement, which today would be Americanised into an internship, exposed me to the delights of housekeeping and cleaning rooms after an Irish stag weekend. And many other delightful and disgusting moments. I presided over a disastrous lunch for 3500 militant unionists at their conference that, due to my lack of leadership, was served lukewarm and two hours late. Used the wrong extinguisher on a fryer fire to the amusement of everyone who did not lose their eyebrows. I even managed to spill soup on the lap of a kindly Royal personage. If you speak to anyone in the hotel business, they too can regale you with stories of exhaustion, disasters, drunkards and learning. Yes, learning. But there are those who insist that it has to be easier than this. Then I'll meet a young manager in another industry. They got themselves a degree in business, for example, and they get an Associate Director title or a Vice President title. It's an entry level position but with a fancy name and a pretty fancy salary. They expect to be in a managerial role within a year or two and want to know what they need to know to get there as fast as possible. The expensive shortcut that isn’t

The MBA is regarded as an instant success secret to megabuck salaries. Another myth.

Many have embarked on an MBA, and having spent a small fortune on their education, want to know why they haven’t gotten to be a senior manager yet. People are signing up for courses that promise instant results even though they've been burnt more than once already. I've fallen victim to this thinking myself on many more occasions that I like to admit. I cast an envious eye on someone else's success and think that if only I can emulate them, I too will have that instant success. Of course, it's nonsense. You know that it is nonsense. You too have found out that there are no shortcuts. Or at least, according to Maya Angelou,

there are no shortcuts to any place worth going.

So now, I look back and think, if only I had cut across the meandering path of my career. There are some useful diversions but many useless ones. And ultimately, had I known that I was coming this way, I could easily have cut across. The trouble is, of course, that we don’t know which direction is the real shortcut. If I had known that I would essentially end up teaching, writing and recording

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It was 4.30 on a cold and wet morning and I was choking on the stench of thick layers of years old grease behind the deep fat fryer and I was ecstatically happy as I scrubbed and cleaned the once white tiles back to their original gleaming brightness. It was my first day on my first proper job and I would soon be delegating this filthy work to some other poor sap who similarly wanted to become a chef de cuisine. In the meantime, my job was to scrub, peel, haul, carry, chop, clear and clean it all up again. The head cook (for in the mid 1970's we had few "Chef's" as that was far too French and suggestive of "haute cuisine") had agreed to take me under her wing and teach me how to prepare the only famous dish to come from England and clogged the arteries of its working classes: The Great British Breakfast. Putting talent in perspective

Talent is often misunderstood. Business leaders are obsessed with finding it, keeping it and banking their succession on it. They recruit the top students from the best universities, promote them quickly, reward them lavishly and label them as talent.

Talent is often misunderstood. Business leaders are obsessed with finding it, keeping it and banking their succession on it. They recruit the top students from the best universities, promote them quickly, reward them lavishly and label them as talent. Then there is surprise at the realisation that: More than half the CEO's of Fortune 500 companies averaged a C or C- And more than 50% of the world's millionaire entrepreneurs never finished college Let me clarify, I am not anti-talent. I believe that we should seek our talent and we should put it to work. But talent alone, is not the answer to leadership succession, productivity and a growing economy. Everyone has talent I was 15 years old as I crouched behind that deep fat fryer and about to discover my talent but first I had to serve my time and observe Mrs Brown at her work as closely as possible whilst simultaneously keeping out of the way of her sharp knives and even sharper tongue. Once allowed, I soon mastered the fry-up served with tea and slices of Hovis with thick butter. I was cocky with my demonstrated obvious talent, but was soon cut by Mrs Brown's sharp tongue as she remarked:

"Anyone can cook. It's just that not everyone should."

Her simple wisdom is true in all walks of life: Today, watch any "talent" show on TV and you'll find plenty of contestants who would do well to follow Mrs Brown's advice in their own dream pursuit. Anyone can sing, but not everyone should. So how do you know if you should? It's not simply a case of doing something, it's doing something exceptionally well and enjoying doing it. That's an "and" not an "or". I knew that I thoroughly enjoyed cooking but it takes others to tell you if you do it exceptionally well. When you find out what that is, then you've found your talent. And everyone has something that they do exceptionally well and thoroughly enjoying doing. Develop the talent you have, not the one you want When I ask if you know what your talent is, you may struggle to identify it. You may not be an exceptional musician or artist, actor or even a sports person. These are the types of things we traditionally associate with the word "talent". You may think I'm referring to your job. It could be and I hope that your job does enable you to use your talent, but the chances are that you are unsure, and probably too humble to realise that you really do have talent. But I can assure you that you do. The 10,000 hour rule

The 10000-hour rule is the idea that we have to deliberately practice any activity for at least 10000 hours before we are great at it

Malcolm Gladwell based his 10000 hour rule in his book Outliers on a study by Anders Ericson that it takes 10000 hours of deliberate practice to become great at something. Such 'greatness' is often confused with the "talent" that enables it. For your talent is rarely manifest as something great, usually, your t

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He who stays latest is working hardest.

It's 10 O Clock as you turn the lights out that you switched on that morning as you leave after a 16 hour slog of a day. Grabbing a quick bite as you run for the train home knowing that the kids will be fast asleep by the time you get there. Another day in paradise. At least you can relax easily at home knowing what a hard worker you are. Thinking of all you have accomplished today in the mistaken belief that effort equals results. You could be suffering the busyness delusion.

Being too good at your job might reduce the perception of the value you are giving!

I worked for a French company for a while some years back. In spite of their reputation for taking incredibly long lunch breaks, French companies often display what I call a very macho culture. It's essentially based on being seen to be busy and actively involved. There was essentially, a competition to be first into the office and last out of the door at night. And, at a minimum, arrive earlier than the boss, and leave after he had left the building. The staff would turn up early in the day and place their coat or jacket on the back of their chair and on into the computer. Then go for coffee. Whenever any of the bosses were around, there was a flurry of activity and people rushed. I never really figured out whether people were busy because they were so focussed on being seen to be busy, or whether they were busy because they wasted so much time appearing to be busy. Sweating my assets

When we put in a lot of effort, we sweat. And in financial terms, we want our assets sweating to show that they are productive

Businesses have long been aware that assets, once bought, need to be used as productively as possible. 24/7/365 ideally, else there is some productivity left unused. The financial term for this is to 'sweat your assets'. It's based on the same idea that when we are working hard, we sweat. The harder we work, the more we sweat. And the harder we work, the more productive we are. Or at least, that's the theory. As I live in Singapore, it's pretty easy to get a sweat on. All I have to do is turn off the AC. Doesn’t make me any more productive, just hot and a little pungent. If you were any good at the job, you’d do it in half the time Dan Ariely's meeting with a locksmith http://danariely.com/2010/12/15/locksmiths/ No one really cares how hard or long you work http://99u.com/articles/51908/nobody-cares-how-hard-you-work Whilst you worry about what everyone else is thinking about you, they're worrying about what you're thinking about them. So you should be worried about what you are thinking about them but you're not, because you’re too consumed with what they're thinking about you, but they're not because they're spending all this neurological effort thinking about you thinking about what they're thinking about. No balance

Striving for work life balance because we allow work to take over our lives

Levels of stress that cause your body's cells to age prematurely

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/10/give-up/410485/

Hard work doesn’t lead to rewards

Show leadership - what your boss really want is help to get things done. Not analysed, not talked about, not paraded, done! Share and carry the load. http://www.lifehack.org/articles/work/real-reason-get-promoted.html Being seen to be busy Perceived value. People prefer to watch how busy and hard working a website is when searching for results. They actually like to watch the illusion that the website is working hard! http://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Pages/item.aspx?num=40158

It's not enough to jump through the hoops. You've got to be SEEN jumping through the hoops

This increase PERCEIVED value. So why do we need to be seen to be busy? Remember that website being SEEN to be working hard as it searched for the results? That seems to be true in most offices as well. The people who get promoted are those who are seen to be actively busy and producing results. It

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Motivation is chemistry. That feeling you call motivation is to do with the dopamine in your brain, specifically the increase in dopamine in your “nucleus accumbens” is the brain’s feedback for predicting rewards. Dopamine is known as a neurochemical of pleasure, and sure, dopamine makes you feel good, so why can we also get a spike of motivation in times of great stress? Indeed, why are some people motivated to jump off suspension bridges?

Dopamine is the neurochemical associated with pleasure but its real role is in motivation[/caption] The role of dopamine goes beyond our feelings of pleasure; it performs its task before we obtain the rewards. Dopamine’s actual job is to encourage us to act to achieve or avoid something. 

To act or to avoid?

Motivation can be encouragement to act or to run away Many successful golf players (and business leaders) are motivated by their dissatisfaction with their performance. It can be a very powerful motivator. You would expect someone who is thus motivated to improve their game to be similarly motivated in other aspects of their life. Do you see a golf course as a series of obstacles to be avoided, or do you see the fairways and greens as the thing to hit. There are a few people who aim for the obstacles because they excel at the tricky shots – most, however, find themselves in the obstacles due to misfortune… or were they actually responsible? For most people, the self-directed anger resulting from dissatisfaction is not a positive state to be in. If you condemn yourself for playing poorly and use self-talk phrase such as “I should have…” Or yelling (at yourself or outwardly) your self-disgust such as “useless idiot” and perhaps more colourful phrasing – you are doomed to repeat it. Not only will you repeat the ‘error’, but you are also physically hurting yourself – self-condemnation causes self-directed anger causes stress causes physical distress causes physical sickness and, for many, heart failure. It’s a little as if your heart decides that’s it’s had enough of your inward abuse and is desperately trying to communicate your need to stop doing it. If you’ve had a heart attack or stroke you’ve probably completely reassessed how you live your life – and sought more tranquility, less stressful behaviours – in some cases avoiding the major contributors to your previously high-stress levels – work and/or golf.

Driving a car often brings out the worst in our character. Some people don’t realise that this is what they are like. The way you drive your car is often a good indicator of your style. How angry do you get when someone cuts into the queue in front of you? When you pull up to the red traffic light, do you swerve over to the other lane to be at the front of the queue? When motoring along are you more concerned about getting somewhere quickly, or more concerned with the traffic around you? Back to golf. When you stand at the tee, what do you focus your attention on? Your target? Avoiding the trees/bunkers/water/rough? I hope the former by now if you’ve been with me all this time. What you focus on is what you’ll get. Motivation is a multi-faceted phenomenon. In large part, motivation is about the satisfaction of values held. It is the result of using particular personal resources towards a specific goal that satisfies a value or value held by that individual. Connecting any of these three in any order, resources, values and outcome creates the feeling of motivation as the nucleus accumbens anticipates the reward for the price you are prepared to pay. In smaller part, though often the critical component, is encouragement to achieve a goal. Encouragement to act or avoid

Encouragement is the eager anticipation of doing something fearful  It is worth spending some time here on what we mean by encouragement. The word has ‘courage’ at its root. Thus, to encourage is to develop, enhance or build courage. Courage, you’ll remember, is not the absence of fear but the continuation to do

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"Change is the only constant" goes the refrain. There would be little need for change if people were happy to stay the same as they are now. You know that change is uncomfortable. It doesn't matter how big or small the change is; it's how uncomfortable that change makes you feel. For some, difference is something to be avoided. If they appear to go along with the required change, it is because they (perceive that they) have no choice, For others, they'll actively seek change. Staying the same is boring, they need change, they need to learn. They are incomplete if they are not learning to be better. Some people initially resist transformation but accept it after time or practice. For these individuals the transformation has to be proven to be valuable. And there are those who initiate change, sometimes just for the sake of change. And change often fails because of your discomfort with change. How can I change an organisation if I don’t like change myself? Try a little experiment with me. Fold your arms in front of you and settle for a moment. Cross your arms the opposite way round. How long would it take you to be comfortable with this change? Now, switch the way you fold your arms. Instead of right over left, change it to left over right for example. How comfortable are you? A few people who do this feel fine, most will soon revert to their preferred, and far more comfortable, old way of folding their arms. How long would it take you to force yourself to switch your arm folding, before you became comfortable? A day, a week, a month, a year? Never? However long it would take you, there would be many times when you "slipped back into your old ways". Especially under pressure. Perhaps you would eventually switch forever, perhaps you would revert to your original way of doing things. It all depends on how motivated you are to change and if there was a purpose of changing. Most transformation programmes fail to deliver because most people neglect the key elements that facilitate change to take place. To help transform anyone they need to be encouraged, enabled and empowered. Fall short on one, and the transformation project will not achieve the desired change. Why is change so difficult? Going on a journey with people through change can be challenging and exhausting. Bringing sustainable change is even harder. Most people resist change even when they see the need and believe it can occur. [caption id="attachment_12850" align="alignright" width="244"] Resistors - who may not even notice the change, deliberately ignore it, or be so overwhelmed that they push it out of their awareness.[/caption] The owner of the first hotel I managed was just 40 when he suffered a heart attack. His lifestyle, booze, food and a lack of regular exercise were contributory factors but prior to the heart attack, there were no significant symptoms. Life was good, and then BAM! He was on the floor in agony. He survived. His doctor told him bluntly that he had to change his diet, give up alcohol, smoking and take up regular exercise. Change or die! A stark choice. And one that many people face. Initially, my boss came out of hospital ready and eager to take this advice seriously and changed everything that was harming his health. It wasn't easy for him, but he stuck with it and now enjoys a slim, healthy life retired and sailing around the Mediterranean. Yet, in the US alone, some 90% of heart bypass patients can't change their lifestyles, even at the risk of dying. It's not surprising then that changing people's behaviour in business is a challenge. And you would think that I, as a reasonably intelligent human being would have learned from that particular experience, or at least learned from life. But no. I maintained my personal biases and beliefs that such a thing would never happen to me. I wouldn’t be someone who suffered a heart attack because of bad choices. We rarely learn from observing what happens around us, to others or from what others do, unles

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Jeff sat on a bar stool at the front of the room. He had no slides, no props, just sat and talked. Within minutes, he had everybody in the room on the edge of their seats eagerly nodding and ready to follow him wherever he went. None of us in the room had met Jeff before. In fact, none of us had a clue who he was. This quiet, unassuming man simply walked to the front and sitting on the bar stool began to speak and captivated everyone. Jeff shared why some adverts worked, and some fell flat. How some adverts tapped universal appeal, and others neglected to do so. The good news is that you don’t need to spend millions of dollars on creating a fantastic TV advert to influence people. The great news is that you can easily tap into the four universal appeals. And I'll come to those four universal appeals in a moment. You'll remember in the triangle of influence that the motivation to change is the result of the evaluation of the personal benefits gained and the personal cost in the resources required to achieve a specific outcome. Whether that outcome is buying a new toothpaste or a new car, giving our time to serve in a soup kitchen or sharing our wisdom with a stranger. We weigh up what we get from the action and what it costs us. We will then be motivated to act when our perceived benefits outweigh our perceived cost.

Influence is maths. When the perceived value is greater than the perceived cost, we are motivated to act on the change.

If you know what I am likely to perceive as beneficial and what I perceive as costly, then you should find it easier to influence me. Influencing someone you know well When we know someone very well, we can influence them more easily. For example, if I want to go to a particular holiday destination with my wife, and she wants to go elsewhere, I might emphasise all the aspects of the type of holiday she desires (honestly) regarding my preferred destination. I might lay on some evidence to add credence to my interpretation such as photos, TripAdvisor recommendations and so on. If I want to buy a particular car model, and she would prefer another, I might focus on specific qualities of my chosen car that I know will appeal to her. It's not manipulation; it's just a conversation. It's something we all do, every day. We will sway or steer others towards our preference. We are in a position of influence every time someone allows us to communicate with them. Most of the time, we are unconsciously influencing entirely based on our personal bias. But that's selfish! Yes, you’re right. I am. So are you. So is the person beside you. I am, and you are. Even when someone is apparently altruistic, the reality is that they get something valuable personally from being so. What if I don’t know the other person well, how do I influence them? People are more easily influenced by people who show empathy for their situation and can be trusted. But more than that: people will do anything for those who encourage their dreams, allay fears, justify their failings, or help them throw rocks at their enemies. Some of the most effective and powerful ways of influencing appeal to these four universal motivators: Encourage their dreams, allay their fears, Justify their failings and helping them throw rocks at an enemy. 1. Encourage their dreams

If a genie gave you 3 wishes, what would you ask for?

Every single person I have ever met has dreams. They want to achieve something in their life, they may not know exactly what that is, but it is better than whatever they have achieved thus far in life. To influence someone, you could encourage their dreams. That the benefit, they will attain moves them towards their dreams. You might be encouraging the dreams of your child to get into a great university if they study hard, or more relevant perhaps, the new iPad you will buy them if they get an A. You could be encouraging someone to diet or exercise by communicating how good they will look and feel (and hence be more attractive.)

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Have you set yourself a SMART goal and still not achieved it? Goal setting, we know is a powerful tool in helping us focus on a specific objective and put our energy and resources towards achieving it. But did you know that human beings align themselves to achieving their goal in one of four ways? And that the way you align your energy and resources to achieving your goal can be the determinant as to whether you achieve success or not? What is it about those people who set big, stretching goals for themselves and get there without the fight that the rest of us seem to face? Even something as simple as making sure everything is properly organised and filed and those minutiae are dealt with. All, effortlessly… or at least that's what it looks like. I recall my Godfather shared a story about swans gliding along the river, elegant and poised. No trace of the furious effort beneath the water as they paddled furiously against the current in search of a morsel of bread I had thrown. Is this the secret of those who seem to glide through life to and endless stream of successes? I tried to master this idea of appearing poised whilst furiously beavering away and, of course, failed miserably. It was exhausting. I was expending huge effort in my work and huge effort in trying to appear that I wasn't working.  Perhaps, I should just let the current take me wherever it would. But then, I would find myself drifting towards the weir of life and the turmoil of burbling rapids and somewhere downstream in the opposite direction. And, it's not just our long term goals where this matters. We live in a world of busy-ness. There's a constant demand for our attention from work, from colleagues, bosses, clients, family, friends, and beeps from devices, and emails and more all clamouring for immediate attention. In part, this modern life itself distracts us from our plans, so it becomes increasingly important that we keep on top of everything and not drown in a sea of todo lists under a cacophony of beeps. So let us explore the four different ways we can choose to align our effort, energy and resources towards achieving our chosen goals. I call them, Push mode, Pull mode, Drift mode and the fourth is really a combination, the PushMePullYou mode. Push Mode Multi-tasking, endless todo lists and long hours in the office are all indicators that you are in Push Mode[/caption] If you have to drive others towards an objective, even drive yourself towards it, I call this being in push mode. Push mode is typified by focusing your attention on problems that need to be resolved, or things that need fixing. Many people use a ‘todo’ list or a GTD (getting things done) system. Are you one of them? Take a look at yours now and see if it is a list of problems. The fun, creative or enjoyable things rarely make it onto a ‘todo’ list – rather there is a tendency to say that once the list is done and I have time, then I’ll do the fun stuff. What’s more, you will already know that the things we pay attention to are the things that grow and the things we don’t pay attention to tend to fade away. So if we focus on problems (call them challenges or issues if you must but they are still the same thing), we will find that the problems grow. So here’s a radical thought, if we focus our attention on interesting, exciting, fun things, they will grow. And our problems, won’t they fade away? “But you don’t understand. I have to get this report done, I have a ton of emails to clear, I have to attend this meeting, I have calls to make to angry customers, and if I don’t I’ll get fired. I simply don’t have time to talk to people, take it easy, smell the flowers…” And when your stress levels have made you so sick that you can’t work, let alone afford the hospital bills you’ll feel what exactly? Accomplished? Valued? Important? Nothing more satisfying than lying in bed recovering from a heart attack knowing how much your contribution is missed. I’m not saying that these things (some of th

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A few weeks ago I recorded a podcast about the Power of Trust to Succeed and many people wrote and asked why it is that you can do something with the very best intentions but find that it backfires.It seems that it is very easy to lose someone's trust but oh so difficult to gain it back. Think of trust as a wallet full of cash. I know that it's rare to have such a thing, but imagine, OK? Say I have a couple of thousand bucks in various bills in my trust wallet. Every time I do or say something that causes you to lose faith in me, to lose your trust, for whatever reason, is like asking you to take whatever amount of cash out of my wallet. Of course, being a normal human being, you'll take the 100 dollar bills first. If, foolishly I hurt you in some way again, you'll take another chunk from my wallet. A third time and you'll probably take the wallet and empty it. Now I have no trust with you. Is there any way I can influence you if you don’t trust me? Of course not. [player] If you do not trust me, the only way I can get you to do what I want would be to manipulate you, or coerce you. That is, I would resort to lies, half-truths, twisted words, force, threats or bullying. Instead, slowly and steadily and patiently, I work hard and begin to earn your trust back. Little by little, you begin to trust me again. So you give me a two dollar bill from the hundreds you took when I lost your trust. I'm consistent, and build trust with you again. And perhaps you'll give me back a five dollar bill or even, if I've been especially good, 10 bucks. This goes on and on, because you'll be very reticent to give me back your trust. It's normal. It's the way your brain works. You hold a very vivid, pain filled memory of the times I broke your trust and a distant, slightly happy memory of when I build it in the first place. [popup type="youtube" link_text="Click to open my video on your Brain on Stress and Anxiety" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmwiJ6ghLIM" /] Painful memories are much more dominant than good memories. We are wired for negativity. We have two networks for this in our brains: The pain network, which includes the Thalamus, the Dorsal Anterior Cingulate Gyrus and the Insula. Then we have the Reward network, which consists of the Amygdala, the Ventral Striatum and the Ventromedial Prefrontal Cortex. Now you don’t need to remember all the terms, but I've link some great articles and videos above if you’re interested to learn more about the neuroscience behind all of this. When I cause you pain, such as physically inflicting pain, or snubbing you, taking something from you that you care about, treating you unfairly, betraying you, or simply speak negatively about you, then your pain network is activated. Your reward network is activated when you feel things like physical pleasure, a sense of belonging or inclusion, having a good reputation with others, being treated fairly and justly, and even giving to others - because of a feeling of abundance, or simply being appreciated for doing something or just for being you. These things make you feel good. Smart leaders know this and continuously activate your reward network - which makes you more productive and effective. Poor leaders activate your pain network. The biggest difficulty for leaders is one word and that word is "continuously". A leader can be deemed trustworthy by you for years and then they inflict pain on you in some way. They break your trust. Even blaming others for their own failings could be painful for you. At that moment, you take that first big bill from their wallet full of trust. You may trust them again, but there will be a delay in making the decision to trust as you check your personal records - first in the insula and then in the Anterior Cingulate Gyrus (ACG). The insula in your brain, helps us anticipate what something will feel like before it happens, like the proverbial “gut-feel” or “6th-sense”. The Anterior Cingulate Gyrus (ACG) allows us to shift betw

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It was 4.30 on a cold and wet morning and I was choking on the stench of thick layers of years old grease behind the deep fat fryer and I was ecstatically happy as I scrubbed and cleaned the once white tiles back to their original gleaming brightness. It was my first day on my first proper job and I would soon be delegating this filthy work to some other poor sap who similarly wanted to become a chef de cuisine. In the meantime, my job was to scrub, peel, haul, carry, chop, clear and clean it all up again. The head cook (for in the mid 1970's we had few "Chef's" as that was far too French and suggestive of "haute cuisine") had agreed to take me under her wing and teach me how to prepare the only famous dish to come from England and clogged the arteries of its working classes: The Great British Breakfast.

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What's the difference between coaching, mentoring, counselling, training and managing? Let's, however, take a look at the main similarities and differences, as this may be helpful for you in establishing the style you would prefer someone works with you. There is considerable overlap between these development approaches with each having a performance, direction, support or personal well-being focus in the context of the organization, your career or your whole life. Improving performance is largely about developing your job skills (competences). Whilst developing your soft skills (competencies) is better served through direction and support. Developing your character is best served through supporting your development and a focus on your personal well-being. You will see that there are overlaps indicated in the diagram. Perhaps more so with the growth of 'life coaching' which has filled a niche in developing you in your life whilst not being therapy or counselling.

What is mentoring? In spite of its origins in Greek culture some 3,000 years ago, mentoring is a buzzword today where life and work is high-tech but not high-touch. When we use the word “mentoring”, a dozen or more different images race across our minds. It seems that we might not all be on the same page. It will serve us well then, to offer a working definition that brings us all together in our understanding. Here, I have tweaked a definition original from Paul Stanley and Robert Clifton (Stanley & Clinton, 1992) and later by Dr Tim Elmore (Elmore, 2011):

Mentoring is a working relational experience through which one person empowers and enables another by sharing their wisdom and resources.

What is coaching? In the 16th century, the word 'coach' described a horse drawn vehicle to take people from where they were to where they wanted to be. In the 20th century, big buses with rows of seats were also called coaches, and their purpose was the same: to get people to where they wanted to go. The word 'coach' was given athletic meaning around 1880 when it was used to identify the person who tutored university students in their rowing on the Cam river in Cambridge. Later, the word (and role) became associated with musicians, public speakers and actors, who rely on coaches to improve their skills. Don Shula, former coach for the Miami Dolphins wrote about athletes who would come to his team with their skills and talents, ready to submit to the coach whose job was to instruct, discipline, and inspire them to do things better than they thought they could do on their own. Over time, the idea of a coach has not really changed. A coach is a vehicle to take someone from where they are now, to where they want to be. Eric Parsloe, author of "The Manager as Coach and Mentor" (Parsloe, 1999) defines coaching as: "a process that enables learning and development to occur and thus performance to improve." The table below is an overview of the main differences between the four most common approaches to coaching and how these differ from the manager's role.

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What helps distinguish leaders and managers is about control and, quite literally, how "hands-on" you are. If you have ever learned to play the game of golf, the chances are that you grip the club tightly. After all this is basically holding onto a stick that you will swing through the air and hit a ball. Allowing the club to "follow-through' - if you don't hold on tight, the club might just go as far as the ball. I appreciate that you may have never played golf, but you can liken this also to the tight grip of the reins of a horse to controlling your dog on a very short leash to holding on tight to your child's hand   New golfers have to learn how to 'let go' - to relax their grip. If a tight grip is a ten on a scale, we want a 4 out of 10. The same is true of leadership and the way we hold on to our people. Hold on too tight (micromanage) and people have little freedom to use their own skills and strength. Hold on too tight to the club, and it is the golfer doing all the work. So the question is: "who should be doing the work?" The manager or leader or the member of staff? The golf club is weighted for a reason. If you allow the club to do the work, the swing and striking of the ball, becomes almost effortless. Relax your grip on your team and allow them to excel at what they do, and the work becomes almost effortless. Once you know, as a golfer, that the club is designed to do the job of striking the ball, and your job is simply to swing and allow physics do to its job, you can relax. Maintain just enough control to ensure alignment, direction and distance and the ball will fly according to the club used, and the size of the swing. If you want a long distance, you use a long club and a full swing. A short distance off the fairway onto the green requires a shorter distance club and a smaller swing. The power to achieve the distance lies in the tool being employed and the chosen swing - the rest is pure physics. So what can we learn as a leader? To hit your target, at some point you have to let go Isn't it the same? Make sure that you are using the right tool - the person needs the right skill set (and/or mindset) to do the required job. The leader's job is to have a little control to ensure that the skills are employed in the right direction for the right distance - that's about judging how far it is to the goal and translating that into the swing itself - in the case of people, the swing is influence and motivation... let the staff do the rest. And just like that golf ball landing exactly where you both planned and wanted it to be for the next shot. You celebrate. Unlike golf, though, praise your club and thank them for their effort. After all, they did all the work! When we use this metaphor on our golf leadership workshops, the feedback is instant. Hold tight onto the club and the golfer has to use a great deal of effort and the ball often ends up being pulled, pushed, sliced or hooked - going two-thirds of the required distance. Relax the grip maintaining directional control and the ball flies straight to the full distance of the club and swing used. (For non-golfers... try this with a horse, hold tight, the horse will slow down even when you whip it! Keep your dog on a short leash stays by your side while it is pulling your arm out of its socket! Your child dangles from your hand as you cross the road. And, fo course, your team members await your next specific instruction on what they should do next.) When the going gets tough, leaders in control let go! Yet, new golfers, in particular, find their grip tightening in more difficult situations. The very moment when they need to be most at ease, most truly controlling, fear envelops them, pressure builds, the grip tightens, and the ball goes astray. If you have to keep a tight grip on something, keep everyone tightly focused on the goal and direction The same is true of business leaders under pressure. Listen to the media hype about the doom and gloom of the current econom

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Trust is the most fundamental building block of any relationship whether in business, politics, marriage, family or friendships. In the real world, trust signifies different things to different people but it frequently boils down to one point: trust is essential to your success. Once lost, rebuilding trust is one of the most difficult things to accomplish for the reason that the thought of the betrayal can forever haunt the aggrieved. Rebuilding trust is definitely tough, but it’s not something that can be ignored. There's a well-known psychological study, conducted by Walter Mischel in the 1960s, which explored delayed gratification in four-year-olds. Individually, children were seated in front of a marshmallow and the researcher told them that they could eat the marshmallow right then, but if they waited for the researcher to return from a brief errand, they would receive a second marshmallow. Some kids ate the marshmallow within seconds, but others waited up to 20 minutes for the researcher to return. 14 years later, the researchers found out that the children who had delayed gratification were more trustworthy, more dependable, more self-reliant and more confident than the children who had not controlled their impulses. Trust is largely an emotional act, based on a prediction of reliance. It is fragile, and as an egg shell, one slip can shatter it. Trust pervades every aspect of our everyday lives closely. It is fundamentally essential in the healthy functioning of all of our relationships with others. It is even tied to our wealth: in a Scientific American article, Dr. Paul J Zak, a neuroeconomist at Claremont Graduate University, found out that trust is between the strongest known predictors of a country's wealth: nations with low levels use to be poor. In line with Dr. Zak, societies with low levels of trust are poor, for the reason that the inhabitants undertake too few of the long-term investments that originate jobs and raise incomes. Such investments depend on people trusting others to fulfil their contractual duties. In searching to comprehend what was physically happening in the human brain that instilled trust, he found out that oxytocin, a hormone and neurotransmitter, increases our propensity to trust others in the absence of threatening signals. We are indeed wired to trust each other, but, as Dr. Zak points out, our life experiences may "retune" the oxytocin to a different "set point", and thus to different levels of trust all through the course of life. When we are brought up in a secure, nurturing and caring background, our brains release more oxytocin when somebody trusts us resulting in our reciprocating that trust. By contrast, early experiences of pressure, uncertainty and isolation interfere with the development of a trusting disposition and reduce oxytocin levels. In today's untrusting climate, it is not surprising that study after study shows a decline in the trust that individuals have in business and political leaders, and in institutions. The Edelman Trust Barometer for 2009 found out that nearly two out of every three adults surveyed in 20 countries trust corporations less now than they did a year ago. And a 2004 study by Towers Perrin, shows that only 44% of junior workers (those gaining less than $50,000 per year) trust their employers to say them the truth. This is an alarming statistic, specifically given how much time, effort and concern are expended in crafting leadership communications to workers. Even although we are faced with a disaster in trust, and have ample examples of leaders who have eroded their employees', customers' and shareholders' trust, I believe that the majority of leaders walk the path of trustworthiness. If truth be told, it might be harrowing for many leaders if they receive feedback that others do not find them trustworthy. But being trustworthy, in someone's eyes, consists of their own perceptions, and can be strongly influenced by the fracture of trust in the world

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What is a successful leader? Because our GAPPS5 report profile benchmarks against "Successful" leaders I get asked this a lot. And it is a great question! Because success means different things to different people. For some, success is a mansion on the beachfront, for some it's being in charge of a large multi-national, for others, it's a loving family. However, these simply identify the measures by which individuals evaluate their own success. We define leadership success as: " Behaving in a congruent and righteous way that generates a sustainable superior return on investment." Now of course, this is a very loaded statement: Behaving: your manifest actions and words. Congruent: in accordance with stated and unstated beliefs and values Righteous: acting in an upright, moral and virtuous way (within the context of the environment) Sustainable: able to maintained or kept going Superior return on investment: continuously returning greater benefit to the organization and/or people than the investment in time, money, effort. i.e. a greater ROI than most other leaders. How do you know that a leader is successful? During the last 20+ years we have been researching leadership, we have assessed, observed and evaluated individual leaders seeking agreement on whether an particular leader is successful. This evaluation considers the individual's own achievements of their own definition of success, the agreed definitions of success of their peers and our own experience. Surely it's simply that 'more is better'? Not so! And this is one of the biggest issues with other psychometric tools and why we created GAPPS. More is not always better. Too much food makes you fat! For example, someone with extremely high interpersonal sensitivity is going to be very sensitive to the needs and wants of others and may choose to implement a policy that satisfies the people at the expense of good business - reduces ROI. Or, someone with absolute clarity of goals and vision, but does not learn (review) that the goal is the wrong way. Or someone with very high Outcome... they are heading for a stroke. Also, consider that if you had a team member who was a junior manager with incredibly strong leadership skills and thus gets labelled as a 'High Potential" put on the fast track and promoted... and promoted... if they do not gain the experience technically or the wisdom to discern, then they won't necessarily be successful as a CEO or even as a senior manager. "Can I be successful as a leader with a low score?" Yes! Though it depends on your definition of success. I've met a few CEOs who, quite honestly, shouldn't be in charge of getting themselves dressed in the morning, let alone a multi-million dollar business and the lives of hundreds of staff. They key to real success as a leader when you have known weaknesses (and we all have them!) is to let go of the ego or pride, admit it and go find yourself someone to fill your gaps. Let's say you own a business that is doing well, but to get to the next level and expand or go public. As an SMB leader you've succeeded, but you really need a 'Chess Player' character - a real strategist, but you're a 'Cavalier' - a bit of a maverick... then go find yourself a boss! And remember, whilst you focus on being increasingly successful, I trust that you've noticed I did not say "good" leader. Being successful and being "good" are not necessarily the same thing. In this fallen world, there are times when you sacrifice "good" for "success". What do you need to change to be more successful?

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A little understanding of neuroscience can go a long way to making your own life easier and more fulfilling. And this week's podcast and article. I thought I should share a few mind hacks with you that are so effortless once you know them and they will give you a powerful edge in life. These mind hacks are not deceitful or manipulative at all. They just take advantage of a little neuroscience understanding and they can have a positive impact on everyone you encounter. The first one is I Colour I Listen

Knowing a little neuroscience and how to use your mind effectively gives you a major edge in life. If you have attended one of my workshops or coaching sessions you probably even know this first one. When you are speaking with someone you want to take a note of their eye colour. Why? I'm so glad that you asked. :-) By consciously noting a person's  eye colour you must have made eye contact with them. You will also tune in to what they are saying and because making a note of their eye colour takes up so much cognitive space, you can only listen and not speak at the same time. Now, I don’t mean stare at them for the whole time, that will creep them out and you'll be perceived as aggressive. Eye to eye contact should be somewhat minimal (unless you are both deeply in love) Instead, after noting their eye colour, focus about 60% of the time on a midpoint above the bridge of their nose and below the forehead. You can drop your gaze slightly lower - directly between the eyes ) for a friend. Focus on the mouth ONLY if you are intimate with this person. Practice this with a friend. Change where you focus attention and for how long, ask them how it makes them feel. Note how you feel when they do this back to you. Knowing a little neuroscience and how to use your mind effectively gives you a major edge in life If you have attended one of my workshops or coaching sessions you probably even know this first one. When you are speaking with someone you want to take a note of their eye colour. Why? I'm so glad that you asked. :-) By consciously noting a person's  eye colour you must have made eye contact with them. You will also tune in to what they are saying and because making a note of their eye colour takes up so much cognitive space, you can only listen and not speak at the same time. Now, I don’t mean stare at them for the whole time, that will creep them out and you'll be perceived as aggressive. Eye to eye contact should be somewhat minimal (unless you are both deeply in love) Instead, after noting their eye colour, focus about 60% of the time on a midpoint above the bridge of their nose and below the forehead. You can drop your gaze slightly lower - directly between the eyes ) for a friend. Focus on the mouth ONLY if you are intimate with this person. Practice this with a friend. Change where you focus attention and for how long, ask them how it makes them feel. Note how you feel when they do this back to you. If you have attended one of my workshops or coaching sessions you probably even know this first one. When you are speaking with someone you want to take a note of their eye colour. Why? I'm so glad that you asked. :-) By consciously noting a person's  eye colour you must have made eye contact with them. You will also tune in to what they are saying and because making a note of their eye colour takes up so much cognitive space, you can only listen and not speak at the same time. Now, I don’t mean stare at them for the whole time, that will creep them out and you'll be perceived as aggressive. Eye to eye contact should be somewhat minimal (unless you are both deeply in love) Instead, after noting their eye colour, focus about 60% of the time on a midpoint above the bridge of their nose and below the forehead. You can drop your gaze slightly lower - directly between the eyes ) for a friend. Focus on the mouth ONLY if you are intimate with this person. Practice this with a friend. Change where you focus attention and for how long, a

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Put your hand up if you can trust you. Keep your hand up, if you can trust yourself always. That is, you never, ever let yourself down. There are many areas in our lives where we may have a tendency, a temptation to not do something we promised ourselves, to give in when we know that we really should continue. Or perhaps that's just me? I’ve been going through this a lot recently.  Last year I had a heart attack. No warning. No symptoms, until that very morning. That is, you never, ever let yourself down. There are many areas in our lives where we may have a tendency, a temptation to not do something we promised ourselves, to give in when we know that we really should continue. Or perhaps that's just me? I’ve been going through this a lot recently.  Last year I had a heart attack. No warning. No symptoms, until that very morning. There are many areas in our lives where we may have a tendency, a temptation to not do something we promised ourselves, to give in when we know that we really should continue. Or perhaps that's just me? I’ve been going through this a lot recently.   Or perhaps that's just me? I’ve been going through this a lot recently.   Last year I had a heart attack. No warning. No symptoms, until that very morning...

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It seems to me if a tool is so widely used, there must be something to it. As a leadership caddy, procrastination is almost always the first thing my clients want to eliminate from their lives. As you will read, I advise them not to eliminate the very tool that is there to help them navigate the rough spots in life and business.

“If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.” Rita Mae Brown

Detour ahead It's time I think to do a little more brain hacking and think of procrastination as a detour in the road. The purpose of a detour is to give us a warning, help us avoid something unnavigable, or dangerous and provides a safer route. Detours usually take a little longer, they circumvent the problem, but in the end we arrive at our destination unscathed. In most cases you will discover that properly employed procrastination, like a detour, will give you an alternate route to the solution of the problem at hand.

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We're all aware that there are no shortcuts to success. But, have you noticed that success seems to come more easily to some people and not so easily to you? It's OK, you're not alone. In fact, everyone sees it this way. Even that eejit in your class at school. You know, the one in the big house, with the wealthy parents. They got given a swanky BMW for their 18th birthday. Yes, even they look at others and believe that success came more easily to them. And you know what. They probably even look at you and say how 'lucky' you are to have so easily been successful. "Me?" you say. Yes, you. Because you are successful in so many ways. Perhaps not yet in the specific way you think you would like, but you have a remarkable number of successes under your belt already. And you know how you achieved those successes? You failed. Yeap. You heard me right. You failed. Sometimes, you failed miserably, other times you just failed. But you failed nonetheless. And from that failure, you learned to succeed. This week I'm going to share with you some insights on failure and why it carries such a stigma. Then we'll look at the positive role of failure and lastly, learn how to embrace failure… or something I'm going to call: "Unfailure."

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I've been prompted this week in my own development about setting goals rather than drifting along and hoping for the best and I wanted to share this with you. When I was a very young kid, I remember that we had an old black Austin Wolseley. I remember the leather seats and the 'horse' in the back - which is where I would sit. My sister and brother to either side of me and mum and dad in the front. On occasional Sunday's when dad wasn't preaching or we weren't going to Grandma's, we would be treated to a Sunday drive. [player] One particular time, we went to Redhill in Kent, southern England. This was long before the M25 motorway went past this particular spot and we parked the old Wolseley at the top of the hill, unloaded the picnic blanket and the basket of treats.

I rolled down the hill with my siblings and had to be carried back up exhausted. It was a beautiful sunny autumn day and life was good. Those Sunday's were special. We never knew where we would end up. Finding new places to enjoy. Those Sunday drives became less frequent as I grew older. By the time I was around 11, they stopped altogether. And I missed those Sunday drives. I wanted to spend the day drifting around and stumbling across some beautiful corner of England. A day when I could drift along and be taken for a journey somewhere and just enjoy myself. I've met a lot of people who live a Sunday Drive kind of life. They're drifting along being carried by the current and the winds of life. Sometimes they enjoy it, but most days they moan about the place they’ve ended up. And of course, it's not their responsibility to take themselves somewhere more exciting. No that's what somebody else "should" be doing for them. Now, I'm no botanist, but in my experience, when a plant is not growing, it's dying. If you don’t water or feed your plants, or tend the garden for weeds and pests, then your plants will wither and die. I've found the same happens to the lives of people. When we don’t feed and water our own growth and take responsibility for tending our life for choking weeds and pests, we too will begin to die. A little at a time. My ability and character as a leader similarly needs to continuously grow and mature, be fed and nourished, weeded and cleaned of pests and problems. Of course, there's the fear that if I grow too fast and too big, well I'll just be the tall poppy and as my peers try desperately to bring me down, and my bosses chop my head off first because I'm too visible. So I'll just keep my head down and not bother growing. Imagine what it takes to plan a journey from Singapore to Bintan. I know that Bintan is a little south of Singapore, I know that there are ferry services to get there, so I'll just head to the coast, find the first ferry heading south and get on board." That would be crazy right? No, first you'll fire up Google and search for the right ferry, choose which service, what time, get a ticket, and so on and so forth. It takes a little planning. Every journey can be broken down into manageable steps or goals. These act as milestones along the way to make sure we're still headed in the right direction, making good and timely progress. Any journey worth taking requires a little effort to plan and prepare. Your journey to leadership success is no different. Each goal is a milestone on your journey indicating your progress and providing direction to the next goal. And if you go off track, you can easily get back on track. So where would you like your leadership ability and character to be a month from now?  INFLUENCE WITHOUT AUTHORITY Be first to know... Click here

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When I started my first degree at university, I knew I had to get myself a car. Until this point, a motorbike had served me well, but I was going to university in Manchester, England, 200 miles from my job and my girlfriend. I spotted an advert in the local paper from a local used car dealership offering a "Reliable, one careful owner, full service history, Austin 1100 in British Racing Green." It was old but almost in my price range. The dealer was friendly, kind and helpful. He took me out for a test drive and assured me that the car was an absolute bargain. He told me how thrilled he had been from the response to the advert and even forewarned me that someone else had called just before I arrived and they wanted to buy the car too. [player] The dealer was friendly, kind and helpful. He took me out for a test drive and assured me that the car was an absolute bargain. He told me how thrilled he had been from the response to the advert and even forewarned me that someone else had called just before I arrived and they wanted to buy the car too.  Does it matter whether I influence or persuade or manipulate, so long as I get the right result? Does it matter whether I influence or persuade or manipulate, so long as I get the right result? He shared a story about his own Austin 1100 that had been such a reliable little runner. Cheap to maintain and would quite happily trot up and down the motorway regularly. On top of that, it was cheap to insure and easy to get parts "should anything ever go wrong with it." I asked if he could knock a few quid off the price because I was a little short. He tried to get his boss to help, but there was sadly now way. I borrowed the difference from my best friend and I was thrilled to head off that very afternoon down south and was a little surprised as I hauled past Oxford and an orange light appeared on the dashboard. Does it matter whether I influence or persuade or manipulate, so long as I get the right result?He shared a story about his own Austin 1100 that had been such a reliable little runner. Cheap to maintain and would quite happily trot up and down the motorway regularly. On top of that, it was cheap to insure and easy to get parts "should anything ever go wrong with it." I asked if he could knock a few quid off the price because I was a little short. He tried to get his boss to help, but there was sadly now way. I borrowed the difference from my best friend and I was thrilled to head off that very afternoon down south and was a little surprised as I hauled past Oxford and an orange light appeared on the dashboard. He shared a story about his own Austin 1100 that had been such a reliable little runner. Cheap to maintain and would quite happily trot up and down the motorway regularly. On top of that, it was cheap to insure and easy to get parts "should anything ever go wrong with it." I asked if he could knock a few quid off the price because I was a little short. He tried to get his boss to help, but there was sadly now way. I borrowed the difference from my best friend and I was thrilled to head off that very afternoon down south and was a little surprised as I hauled past Oxford and an orange light appeared on the dashboard. I had bought a lemon. So why had I, an educated, not completely dim, and otherwise quite sensible person been duped into buying something? Are we influenced when we are duped? Yes we are. You'll remember from the Triangle of Influence that we are influenced when someone connects a desired result in such a way that the benefit outweighs our cost resulting in motivation. Influence is often considered to be a positive thing. But it has some closely related cousins known as: Persuasion Manipulation, and Coercion Persuasion is still considered OK, but to have been influenced rather than persuaded would be better. To have been forced or threatened into doing something is particularly unpleasant, while being manipulated to do the very same thing is regarded as wrong. How d

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Anxiety is, for many people, most prevalent when you have a need to perform in front of others. Whether you are speaking to thousands in an arena or having a private conversation with your boss. Unfortunately, your anxiety means that you perform less well than you could. So how do you control those feelings? You may be surprised that most professional trainers and speakers and performers (actors, singers, musicians) have those same feelings of anxiety. So how do they deal wit them? This week I'm sharing four simple brain hacks, and I really do mean simple, to overcome performance anxiety. Visit my Your Brain on Stress and Anxiety video on YouTube I've been prompted in part, because of the responses I have been receiving about a little video I made just over a year ago now. It's entitled Your Brain on Stress and Anxiety, and it's garnered just shy of a hundred thousand views on YouTube alone now. Which is incredibly humbling, but also a little concerning. Humbling because it makes me somewhat proud that a little whiteboard video I drew and produced has been watched quite so many times just on YouTube. But it has also been a little disturbing. If you read some of the publically visible comments, you'll get an idea of the types of questions I've been getting over the past year from those who are suffering from stress and anxiety. Some very serious stress and anxiety as well. So, a quick caveat if I may. I am not a medical doctor and, if you are suffering from long-term stress or anxiety, please do seek professional help. The four simple ways I am sharing today will help anyone with any degree of stress and anxiety, but I am focused more on people in business or work who suffer stress and anxiety because they are about to perform in front of others. That does not mean that these simple ways won’t help whenever you feel anxious, they will. So use them. And if you have yet to watch my little video, you should do so now or later, and whilst you're over at YouTube, subscribe to my channel as well and do please share with at least 3 people you know will benefit from learning there. The four simple ways I am sharing today will help anyone with any degree of stress and anxiety, but I am focused more on people in business or work who suffer stress and anxiety because they are about to perform in front of others. That does not mean that these simple ways won’t help whenever you feel anxious, they will. So use them. And if you have yet to watch my little video, you should do so now or later, and whilst you're over at YouTube, subscribe to my channel as well and do please share with at least 3 people you know will benefit from learning there. Back to today. 4 Simple brain hacks to overcome performance anxiety…. But before I begin on how we overcome performance anxiety, let us understand just what is happening when we get anxious.  But before I begin on how we overcome performance anxiety, let us understand just what is happening when we get anxious.  I was just seven years old when I first experienced acute stage fright. I was due on stage to sing (in my beautiful soprano) in the finals of an inter-church competition. But the room was just so huge. There were more than a thousand people out there. And this was the finals. Something I’d been preparing for and practicing all year. But this song was difficult and required that I hit the high notes perfectly. I froze at the side of the stage. It was as if my shoes had been glued to the floor. My thin shirt was soaking with sweat at the armpits, and I began to shake. My singing coach (aka church choir master) came over and urged me on stage. I got out there and stood, like a rabbit caught in the headlights. I kept my head down and made myself as small as I could, so they couldn’t see me and then the pianist started the piece. The first bars repeated five times as I desperately tried to start singing. Not a chance. I turned and ran from the stage and burst into tears. "It's just stage fright," th

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When you aim for the right target, your goal becomes more possible  You already know that you need to have a clear goal in your personal development as a leader. Without a goal, you don't know where you are going. And that's exactly where you will end up... drifting somewhere... maybe it'll be great, maybe it'll be a waste of your time. Here are the seven steps to your new leadership development goal: https://youtu.be/APVrdQo_wQY Who is in your Inner Circle? The people closest to you can raise you up or tear you down. Take a long hard look at those who are in your inner circle and fill it, if necessary with people who build you up.

Develop SMART goals in each area of your life. Know specifically what your goal is, know how you will measure it, make sure that you can attain it (with the help of your inner circle). Make sure your goal is realistic (if someone else has done it, it is!) And put your stake in the ground for time. When will you achieve this goal? Can it change, sure it can... you can move the goal posts any time you like.

Breakdown your bigger, longer term goals into smaller, shorter term chunks. Any goal worth having is going to take time to reach. Breaking it down into smaller steps makes it much more manageable. I recommend that you "think week' - after all you can pretty well predict a week ahead. But a month... that's tough, all sorts of things could happen in a month. For example, establish steps that you will have completed by Friday each week (time to celebrate at the weekend!)

Work with an accountability partner. Check with your inner circle regularly to review your progress. Wouldn't it be nice if you could trust yourself to have the self-discipline to do this alone? Sure... but believe me, you wouldn't be reading this if you were that self-disciplined. Work with someone in your inner circle who will support you, cajole you, nag you... whatever it takes. You already know what works for you, so invite them to do so and return the favour.

Celebrate your conquering of each milestone. Don't wait till the end result. Constantly promising yourself that one day you will celebrate. No, choose to celebrate every milestone. My wife and I have a stupid little dance we do... in private I might add because it really isn't something you would like to see... but we have fun and it's our shared symbol of an achievement worth celebrating.

When you reach the goal, choose to stretch yourself to new heights. So you've developed yourself well and achieved the goal you set. Well that just proves that you are a lot more capable than even you thought. Now let's raise your game and set new standards to achieve.

Remember - leadership develops daily, not in a day. Keep on keeping on. It won't happen tomorrow. You don't absorb new competencies or character traits by simply exposing yourself to them. No, you need to put your development into practice each and every day. Repeat what works, learn from what doesn't. Adapt, change and keep on keeping on. Eventually, it'll come 'naturally' and you may even forget that previously you weren't this good.

No-one, who ever achieved anything great truly, did it alone. Build you inner circle, set clear SMART goals and plan each of the smaller steps necessary to achieve them - this is all part of successful personal development. I look forward to hearing about your celebrations. Which of the 7 steps do you do best and which worst?

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All will be well in the morning My mum would often tell me "all will be well in the morning." For her, it was just experience and age-old wisdom. All will be well in the morning And things always were better in the morning. Somehow, all the clutter and stress and worry, while, not gone altogether, was, at least more manageable. As I slept, my brain was free to sort through the problem, process it entirely and put it in a suitable place close to a similar experience in memory. I had learned how to resolve whatever the issue was. More often than not, it didn't even need addressing anyway. How taking a break improves future learning It's akin to my mum's advice to "sleep on the problem" so that your memories can be reprocessed, consolidate and shaped for better (faster) retrieval. Taking a learning break gives your brain time and space to reprocess. A paper published in Psychological Science in the Public Interest has evaluated ten techniques for improving learning, ranging from mnemonics to highlighting and shows that taking a break in learning (or 'Distributed Practice' to give a scientific title) is more effective thanany of the other nine techniques usually believed to be better. And now there's compelling new evidence from the University of Texas at Austin, recently published in the National Academy of Sciences: that supports the idea that study breaks improve later learning. When we take a break from learning, our brain can process all the information.  But how much is the right amount for studying and how long for a break? I've been researching this for some time now and unsurprisingly; the results are inconclusive. However, there does appear to be a general reduction in the active learning time for younger people. Typically, I have found that Baby Boomers study well and learn well over a 25 minute period of almost continuous study. That is; they needed a learning consolidation break at 25 minutes. Needing a 15-minute break. Gen X'ers around 20 minutes. Needing an average 13-minute break) Gen Y drops to about 12 minutes with a 6-minute break and then: Gen iY (the iPad generation) around 4 minutes (yeap, just four minutes) with a 2-minute break.All of this in non-academic learning situations, by the way. Tested for learning retention 24 hours after the learning event and 21 days later. All of this in non-academic learning situations, by the way. Tested for learning retention 24 hours after the learning event and 21 days later. But within every group there was a range, and it would change for an individual dependent on the mode of learning. That is, was the learning in a form that they preferred (reading, video, audio, kinesthetic, etc.). Sadly (from an academic point of view) even so-called learning preferences wasn't a statistically significant factor. Our brain needs a break When we take a break from learning, our brain can process all the information. When we are learning anything, our pre-frontal cortex (PFC) is burning a lot of energy as we evaluate the information, process it and check it against working memory. Then the new information is processed, consolidated, and linked to appropriate other memories and emotions... but for this to be held in longer term memory, it appears that the PFC needs to be less active. Perhaps because the PFC is such an energy hog, and we simply need to switch our energy resources to consolidate memories (learn). So can't we just take a pill and learn better and faster? To a certain extent, we can. Glucose and oxygen - the fuel we need to burn to learn. (Caffeine can assist as well if recent research is correct.)So taking a moment, munching on candy, taking deep breaths and sipping that cup of coffee all help us learn... oh, I've just described a break So taking a moment, munching on candy, taking deep breaths and sipping that cup of coffee all help us learn... oh, I've just described a break. Better still, as my dear mum would say, "sleep on it, all will be better in the morning."

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The day the CEO learned the importance of empathy "Some people are just more naturally empathic than others" the CEO brusquely informed me. "It's not personal, it's business" he went on quoting that bundle of joy Donald Trump. "They should know what's good for them, and do what I suggest. Why should I have to influence them or show empathy?" The CEO pushed back his chair as if our session were over. His company was struggling. Several key staff had recently departed and were working for a competitor. He still insisted that empathy was not something he needed to do, and he was perfectly capable of influencing his team. It was they who needed to change, not him. You've met someone like this I'm sure. And you're wondering how I'm going to suggest that they change right? But no, there is a twist here. How do you influence them to have more empathy and more easily influence others? You see, it's terrific to have someone like that CEO in your life. You are not like him. You care. You show a genuine concern, and there are only a few people who, well, they simply don't deserve your love and respect. How do you show empathy for someone and influence them when they don't "do" empathy? Especially when you know that they really need to "do" empathy so that they can be a better Especially when you know that they really need to "do" empathy so that they can be a better influencer. You’ll recall from the triangle of influence that in order to influence someone, we need to link what we want them to do to the resources it will cost them and the benefits that they will gain for themselves by doing it. (If you need a reminder about the triangle of influence, I’d suggest you jump over there now and come back afterwards.)   I Colour I Listen - Developing Active Listening Skills and Empathy Download the Be a Better Influencer PDF Download the Be a Better Influencer MP3 audio Download the I Colour I Listen Template Empathy develops Trust. And Trust enables us to Influence others. When we Influence others, we lead them. For the influencer, we are left with a causal chain: Without empathy how will you know what is important for them? Without you showing empathy, how am I going to trust you? If I don’t trust you, how are you going to influence me? If you don’t influence me, how are you going to lead me? To be a better influencer, we really need to know how to have and show empathy. I wrote a short while back about the usefulness of empathy and how it differs from sympathy. The difference is huge. Sympathy is passive; empathy is active. (Pop over to that article if you need a refresher. It does a great job of describing the difference—and how empathy fuels connection while sympathy drives disconnection.) In short, if I am to influence someone, they need to have some level of trust in me. To trust me, I will need to have, and have shown, empathy with them. That is, I need to identify with them. Let us first consider how we can have and show empathy with someone. Then how we build trust with that person, and lastly, how we can use this to be a better influencer. But before that, let me share the dictionary definition of empathy so that we agree on what it is: em•pa•thy "the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another." Dictionary.com Imagine for a moment that I am sitting opposite you and what I am about to share with you is both critically important and valuable for you. You sit up a little taller, lean your head forward and focus your eyes on me. You carefully watch every nuance of expression, listening attentively to every word. Nodding appropriately as you take in and understand each point I make. Bring to mind two people in your life that you have known for some time. The first person is someone with whom you have a good, strong and close relationship. You trust them to be in your corner, to support you and, they understand you well. The second individual is someone with whom you hav

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"And what do you do?" How many times have you been asked this question? How many times have you asked it? My guess is more than once or twice. We all play a number of different roles. Some are well developed, others less so. Using the right role in relation to another is critical for healthy relationships and better leadership.[/caption] When answering this question, most people respond with their job title or their job function: I'm a banker, I'm the CEO, I'm a teacher. Or they launch into their 'elevator pitch'. We define ourselves often by the major role we play in life. And you know that you are much more than your job: I'm a CEO, husband, lover, uncle, child, brother, skier, scuba diver, teacher, sleeper, trainer, coach, friend, driver, passenger, dog-walker, saxophonist, cook, customer, We all play a number of different roles. Some are well developed, others less so. Using the right role in relation to another is critical for healthy relationships and better leadership.When answering this question, most people respond with their job title or their job function: I'm a banker, I'm the CEO, I'm a teacher. Or they launch into their 'elevator pitch'. We define ourselves often by the major role we play in life. And you know that you are much more than your job: I'm a CEO, husband, lover, uncle, child, brother, skier, scuba diver, teacher, sleeper, trainer, coach, friend, driver, passenger, dog-walker, saxophonist, cook, customer, When answering this question, most people respond with their job title or their job function: I'm a banker, I'm the CEO, I'm a teacher. Or they launch into their 'elevator pitch'. We define ourselves often by the major role we play in life. And you know that you are much more than your job: I'm a CEO, husband, lover, uncle, child, brother, skier, scuba diver, teacher, sleeper, trainer, coach, friend, driver, passenger, dog-walker, saxophonist, cook, customer, We define ourselves often by the major role we play in life. And you know that you are much more than your job: I'm a CEO, husband, lover, uncle, child, brother, skier, scuba diver, teacher, sleeper, trainer, coach, friend, driver, passenger, dog-walker, saxophonist, cook, customer, eater, cleaner, golfer, author, writer, musician, listener, talker, leader, manager, accountant, salesman, communicator, website builder... and that's just the more positive ones today. Am I good at all these? Not all, and not always. There are days when my golf, for example, is fluent and near perfect; today was not one of those days. Today, I was a "shank it in the water, find every bunker, slice it out of bounds" golfer. Am I good at all these? Not all, and not always. There are days when my golf, for example, is fluent and near perfect; today was not one of those days. Today, I was a "shank it in the water, find every bunker, slice it out of bounds" golfer. There are days when my golf, for example, is fluent and near perfect; today was not one of those days. Today, I was a "shank it in the water, find every bunker, slice it out of bounds" golfer. Read the rest of the article on the website here.

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“Why aren’t these “young people” stepping up to the mark?” Asked the C-level executive as we discussed the problems of talent management and leadership succession. As if it’s a problem of the younger generation – most notably Gen Y. But it’s not a generational issue! Performance in the typical workplace is at least 20% lower than it could easily be. The information in this podcast is critical to your well-being, your success, your business and your health but you will probably not make it to the end, at least not without interruptions and multiple distractions. You’re wasting your budget on talent management and development if you don’t get a few other things fixed first! Brought to you by CELSIM and emPowered by GAPPS5While reading, you will receive at least 5-15 emails, one or two phone calls, 3-25 instant or text messages and a colleague or two may pop-by for a 'quick' chat. You may visit a Web site and get distracted though I do promise to keep this interesting enough so you come back. You could easily raise performance by 20% with a few simple tweaks to your environment. Click the image for a full-size version. Visit the website for the full (downloadable) article and images.

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I walked to the front of the meeting room past my muttering colleagues. My hands clammy, my shirt beginning to soak with perspiration in the air conditioned room. Blinded momentarily by the projector, I faced my audience. Their faces raptly attentive as they waited for the first words to come. I noticed my boss as he glanced at his watch. A phone buzzed in silent mode on the table and all eyes were drawn toward it. Someone muttered an apology as he picked up the errant phone and read the message. I had spent weeks preparing for this meeting. We were about to introduce a new computer system across the entire business and everyone in the room would be Blinded momentarily by the projector, I faced my audience. Their faces raptly attentive as they waited for the first words to come. I noticed my boss as he glanced at his watch. A phone buzzed in silent mode on the table and all eyes were drawn toward it. Someone muttered an apology as he picked up the errant phone and read the message. I had spent weeks preparing for this meeting. We were about to introduce a new computer system across the entire business and everyone in the room would be I noticed my boss as he glanced at his watch. A phone buzzed in silent mode on the table and all eyes were drawn toward it. Someone muttered an apology as he picked up the errant phone and read the message. I had spent weeks preparing for this meeting. We were about to introduce a new computer system across the entire business and everyone in the room would be I had spent weeks preparing for this meeting. We were about to introduce a new computer system across the entire business and everyone in the room would be affected. Nobody wanted the new system. I stumbled through my slides, gave them all the facts and outlined the plan. Still nobody wanted the new system. Nobody wanted the new system. I stumbled through my slides, gave them all the facts and outlined the plan. Still nobody wanted the new system. I had failed to influence my colleagues to support the project. So why had my long-prepared presentation failed to achieve the intended result?   When we link the required resources to the goal through personal benefit - we create motivation to change. That is, we influence the person to change. The answer lies in the Triangle of Influence When we are influenced to do something, we connect three things inside the brain: The goal we will achieve The resources achieving the goal costs, and The personal benefits that we get out of achieving the goal. When we believe that we have more value in the benefit than the cost, we will be motivated to act on achieving the goal. But if we believe that the cost outweighs the benefit, we will not be motivated to act. [player] Download the Triangle of Influence PDF Download the Triangle of Influence audio Everyone has influence! We all have the power to affect another person. The very definition of influence. But do you have the necessary power to affect the people you need to influence? When I was presenting to my colleagues in an attempt to influence them to support my project I neglected a few critical points. In particular: The objective of the project was not as clear for them as it needed to be. I couldn't really explain the cost to them, nor What was in it for them, personally. Not surprising then that they weren't motivated to action. People are influenced when they link a clear action (goal) with the PERSONAL benefits that they will gain that are greater than the cost to them of undertaking the action in their mind. It is critical that we realise that people are influenced when THEY make the link. Influence to act = PERSONAL Benefits > PERSONAL costs Surely it cannot be this simple? Well it can. But importantly, simple does not mean easy. If we wish to influence another person to undertake a particular action, to be certain that we motivate them to action, we need to know: What they PERCEIVE to be the personal benefits What value they place on those bene