Verbal Discharge: Recent Episodes
Verbal Discharge
Merry Christmas! Here's your gift, a beautiful new podcast, with more facts about the history of mince pies than you ever wanted!
It's this year's Christmas podcast! This week, Robbie writes some cracker jokes, James has done a great deal of research into mince pies, and Jordan is getting into the festive spirit. Now all that remains is you download the blighter and shove it in your ears like a good little elf. Get on it.
This is it, folks. The golden, shining Episode 100. It's the Discharge Review of the Year, recorded live as part of Nottingham Comedy Festival!
With thanks to Furthest From the Sea, it's our century episode, as we look back on 2017 in all it's dead baby glory! On the show, James celebrates just how weird our old favourite George Osborne is, Robbie prepares a puppet show on the new UKIP leader, Jordan has some suggestions for Word of the Year, and Ben presents a world-exclusive look at the new Star Wars film. It's a fantastic show, and it's all yours for ear-based consumption.
Haha you know when you run out of wine and you're like "Oh man, what I really need is a podcast. And some wine!!!". That's right, middle-aged women of Facebook, we appeal to you too now.
This week on the podcast, Ben has a new favourite genre of meme, Jordan explores the universe, and Robbie revives a dead-for-a-reason comedy character for a brand new quiz show. That's right, podcasts two weeks in a row. We spoil you lot.
If you do want to thank us, you can come along to The Cross Keys in Nottingham next Friday 10th November for our Review of the Year show, with Furthest From the Sea & Nottingham Comedy Festival.
Cor, it's been a while. How have you been? How are the kids? How old are they now? Wow, they're getting big.
Yes, the podcast finally returns, as we find a very 21st century solution to not all being able to get into the same room for two months! This week, Robbie has been to Canada, Jordan has a fun story about shit, and James has not got any more time for hearing about the My Little Pony movie. Now, all that remains is for you to settle in, and hear a golden podcast of somewhat-reduced audio quality.
Our podcast is much like orange juice. Perfect with your breakfast, refreshing, and containing a lengthy story about the frustrating sexual fantasies of an old woman.
Here's a really good podcast! This week, Robbie is chased around a tent by an old woman, Ben sends abuse over a PS4, and James recounts the tales of a child called Ancient Face. That and LOTS LOTS MORE. Like, fifty-odd minutes more. That's loads more. LOTS LOTS, even, you could say.
One island. Two winners. Like eight hundred and thirty stupid people trying to fuck each other. It's the TV show you've been sort-of confused about when your colleagues talk about it, everyone!
It's time Team Discharge familiarise themselves with the TV event of ITV2 between 9 and 10:30 on the evenings it was on. This week, James and Robbie binge Love Island, and see how closely it fits their predictions going in. Join them for a voyage of rapist, twats, and a woman who's probably Andy Cerkis covered in ping-pong balls*. That's right, ladies and mildly disinterested gentlemen, it's time for our Love Island special!
*This is a joke Robbie came up with immediately after finishing the show, and regrets not making, so has squeezed in here.
Welcome back, friend, to your favourite place for ears.
This week, Ben solves climate change, Brexit, endangered species and NHS funding, Robbie accidentally watches tennis, and James is a detective with no time for political correctness. All this and probably slightly more. It's the Verbal Discharge podcast, ladies and gentleorangs.
When the polling cards go away, the dick jokes come to play.
Last week, Britain went to the polls, and put into motion events that could last years, strengthening the political discourse and creating endless amounts of things for us to talk about. So instead, we spent an hour and a half talking about dicks and Flubber's sex life. This week, Ben has some big questions, Jordan has very few answers, Robbie has some career suggestions for Tim Farron and James has some great ideas for new video games. All this and more! More! We somehow managed to fit more in this podcast!
Disclaimer: The following podcast contains so much politics, it contains a disclaimer warning you about how much politics it contains.
There's one week to go until the UK's general election, and we won't let you forget it. James, Robbie and Jordan discuss the highs and lows of the still-unfurling campaign, and tackle each of the five parties jostling for your vote. Plus! Robbie does his best Paxman as we attempt to find a new Podcast PM, we make some outlandish rumours about Caroline Lucas, and play some music by Tim Farron's old pop group (No, really). It also gets angry and impassioned. But can you blame us? There's only one week to go to the election...
We try really hard to talk about things other than the election this week, honest.
A half-strength but absolutely full-fat podcast this week, but don't let that put you off as James and Robbie venture alone. This week, one of them uses a women's toilet and watches Hotel For Dogs, whilst the other is stalked by a man with a carrier bag and celebrates Mental Health Awareness Week. It's quite a show. Quite a show.
This week, Verbal Discharge celebrates Europe's favourite bucket of tuneless wonder in a glorious live show as part of Derby Comedy Festival! And by that we mean Eurovision, not Nigel Farage.
Our Eurovision special comes from the Guildhall Theatre Clubrooms, as a LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE joined us for a celebration of the best and worst of Eurovisions past. On the show, James is confused by UK geography, Jordan recovers from a mental breakdown, Robbie almost chokes to death and Ben wears a frankly remarkable piece of clothing. That you can't see because this is an audio podcast. Never mind. It's a good show. Listen to it.
You can find the assorted videos we played during the show in the 'Eurovision Referendum' playlist on our YouTube Channel. The show makes sense without them, but you may want to see them anyway.
Theresa May ate some chips and we strung that out into an entire podcast.
It's another podcast here. Another podcast. Here's another podcast. There's an election coming up, so we focus on the fortnight's big stories. Namely, Theresa May ate some chips. Beyond that, Robbie eats a sandwich, Jordan drives a magical musical scat bus and James starts a restaurant. And some more things. Some more strong and stable things. Enjoy it, and we'll see you at the Guildhall Theatre, Derby, next week for our Eurovision Referendum show!
Well it's safe to say quite a bit has happened since our last podcast. An election was called, George Osborne stood down, and a new Peppa Pig movie came out. Time for us to deal with it all.
There's a lot to tackle this week, in a show many people may describe as 'bumper'. On this week's show, Ben constructs a new political beat 'em up, James finds himself sold into slavery, and Robbie has seen another Peppa Pig movie, and is willing to let history repeat itself. That and we talk about the election. And Brexit. And George Osborne. And Jeremy Corbyn. And the election. And Theresa May. And Brexit. And Nigel Farage. And Vikings. And Brexit. One day we might get over it.
An episode of dubious intent and questionable legality.
Verbal Discharge are dipping their toes in a whole world of fresh oceans this week. They try their hands as branch assistants at a W.H.Smiths store, stop to ponder the wider justifications for full-scale war with all manner of sovereign states, and even take a moment to infringe on all kinds of copyrights and land themselves in an inevitable heap of legal bother. Expect a Jordan, a Robbie and a James.
An hour and a half of four mild-mannered men get angry about other people's work.
Verbal Discharge accidentally becomes Literary Critcharge this week, as we take on writers, poets, broadcasters and George Osbornes alike. Join us as Jordan gets trapped on a desert island, Robbie appears on another radio show, Ben learns to write, and James uncovers the shameful poetry of a certain Mr. Yiannopoulos...
And like a golden horse in a mine of financially-struggling equiphiles, the Verbal Discharge podcast comes roaring back int your life, ready to make your ears feel like they have purpose once more.
The podcast is back, better than ever, in a decent audio quality again at long last, and fully aware we skipped Episode 85. This week, Robbie explores the eely world of A Cure for Wellness, Jordan wire-taps Donald Trump, James looks for a new centre of hate, and Ben buys you a brand-spanking new gift. All this and plenty more in the podcast critics are calling "A return to form", "Spellbinding" and "Something that makes me proud of my son for the first time ever".
You can listen to the show in the player above, in whichever podcast app you prefer, or by right-clicking here to download. Thank you very much, we'll see you soon!
And he lost some close personal friends to the episode recording too.
Or at least Paul Nuttall would tell us so. On this week's show, James looks for a mystery item, Robbie finds the world's new favourite sex track and Jordan investigates collective nouns/Donald Trump's cabinet. And there's then a bit where we didn't know it was recording, though we never say "Grab her by the pussy" because we're actually half-decent people so it's all OK.
And a quick plug, our next live show is this Wednesday, the 22nd February at QUAD in Derby, please come along. We'll be your best friend.
It's a universally recognised truth that, when one part of your podcast starts going well, another falls spectacuarly into a phallic trap with no escape.
Hello, hi, are we well? That's good. This week, James fact-checks Bridget Jones, Robbie develops a new catchphrase, Ben leaves his ex-wife, and Jordan starts looking for wolves. All this, and probably a few other bits.
Oh my god, it's a podcast, quick, someone, shoot it in the head! Or listen to it! Maybe that's more progressive!
This week, the Discharge team revolutionise a sport, stop facism, form a new political party and discuss pub toilets over the course of an hour. What have you done today? Oh, sorry mate, don't feel down, we didn't mean to say you're worthless, it's just... Look, it's OK. Just listen to the podcast, OK, it'll all be OK. Jordan, James and Robbie will do their best to cheer you up. We know it's been tough since Cheryl left, but... It'll be OK. We'll be back next week too. Don't worry about it.
Another potential interview, another celebrity blowing us off. But at least this one sent us a snarky tweet...
The Discharge boys try to recover from their monumental let-down by decidedly average discslinger DJ Fresh by all getting all four together for the first time since ever. This week, Ben does his research, Jordan does his research, James does his research and Robbie does his research. They also discuss ET's sex life, deliver some delicious alternate facts and produce and release, in full, the upcoming Gerard Butler movie Geostorm. It's enough to satisfy even the grumpiest of men called DJ Fresh.
A heart-warming classic about friendship and trust, loved by generations and considered iconic the world over, Verbal Discharge returns at last for another podcast!
It's been a while since we last did a normal episode, so we hope you didn't miss us too badly. This week, Robbie predicts the events of E.T., James tries to help YOU with YOUR New Year's Resolution, and Ben builds a robot that can churn out works of beautiful literature. All this and more on our last show before the Trumpocalypse!
All good things must come to an end. And so must all things that started out OK but have really been dragged out for too long now.
Join Team Discharge as they explore the cavernous wonders of the podcasts put out between late-September and the end of the year! Alongside two (Count 'em!) live shows, the boys mark both Jordan and Ben's deaths, their subsequent revivals, the discovery of countless new characters and species, plus one interview that went ahead (Danny Howard) and one that didn't (Lethal Bizzle). It's all here on the podcast, alongside a heartfelt thank you to everyone who's helped us this last year. Listen. James almost cries. He doesn't, but maybe it might be different if you listen to it. You never know.
We'll be back properly next week!
Our review of 2016 continues, as we cross the boundary of Brexit, cover the Olympics, and seem to spend an awful lot of time talking about dicks...
It's the second of our frankly-too-long Best Of show, as we cover episodes 51 through to 64, which includes the point of no return that is Brexit, amongst other things. Witness Robbie having a breakdown in 46 seconds. Hear Ben's most foolhardy drunken tales. Listen as James speculates about willies over and over. And lend an ear to Jordan, as he invents a new country that definitely isn't Russia. It's the best of the best, here on and from Verbal Discharge.
It's that time of year again, the time when you think about the fact it's a year rather than simply accepting it. And, as such, Discharge is looking back on our last year in full, as we reflect on each podcast from 2016...
In the first of three parts, join us as we relive what has been a frankly busy year for Verbal Discharge. We present the best moments and out-of-context audio clips from episodes 36 to 50 of the podcast, which saw the introductions of Ducky McDuck, Grak and other lovable Verbal Discharge characters, we interview the leader of the Green Party, personally victimise George Osborne and all kinds of other nonsense! Basically, it's better than a normal podcast because it's just the good bits. We've also got the Verbal Discharge team introducing their favourite bits, plus a supercut of us saying our favourite phrase of the year, "Keith Chegwin's Penis". Enjoy, and we'll see you in a few days time for Part Two!
Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! It's time for your gift from The Podcast Santa, as a new show from your favourite Derby-based comedy podcast not about squid lands in your delightful festive inbox...
This week, the Discharge team attempts to unravel the True Meaning of Christmas by traveling the globe, collecting and studying traditions from all over the world. James investigates Holland's perculirly racist traditions, Ben uncovers the violent mysteries of Australian Christmas, Robbie interviews a passing Frenchman about how he's spending his Noél, and Jordan gets stuck in Turkey without hope or wi-fi. All this and (admittedly only a tiny bit) more, on this week's festive Discharge podcast!
Merry Christmas, and send your mum our best!
Away in a Maypole, no crib for his beer, the Little Lord Discharge lay down his sweet Christmas Show...
On Thursday, Verbal Discharge held our first Chirstmas live show at the Maypole Cafe-Bar & Theatre, with a full nativity play, with the Discharge team playing all the roles between them. It was a Brexxit-based goblin-filled spectacle as we forgot our lines, missed our cues and watched as our costumes unraveled on stage. And you''l be able to see all of that soon, but here, for this podcast, you can now witness the second half of the show, as we recorded a post-show podcast, live on stage! On this week's show, James sees a Christmasy penis, Jordan shows a Christmasy penis, Robbie quizzes us on the second coming, and Ben refuses to marry a primary schooler. All this and more, on our very special Nativity show podcast...
Gather one and all, as we tell you this yuletime of the many adventures of Bigfoot, the most feared of creatures, and Bigdad, the creature even Bigfoot feared...
It's a goddamn bona fide classic of an episode this week, as usual. On this week's show, Jordan writes a new work of genius, Ben speculates on the existence of a legendary beast and Robbie reads some letters and runs out of toilet roll. All this and more, on a podcast so good we're going to abandon the format next week because we can't top it and do a Nativity play instead!
Our Christmas live show is next Thursday, the 15th December, at The Maypole Café-Bar & Theatre, 7:30PM doors for an 8PM start. Please come along, it's going to be a thrilling evening of thrills and Christmasy nativity nonsense.
Just eight minutes before we were due to record, Jordan tragically passed away. The following podcast is exclusively comprised of live coverage from his funeral. Join us, as we look back on the life, times, crimes and misdemeanors of Jordan Daniel Leonard Reynolds.
This week, Robbie, James, a belligerent vicar, some French guy, Michael Caine and a cow from a nearby field deliver their eulogies and tributes to Jordan, the choir serenades his memory with a rendition of Jordan's favourite song, and a freak storm brings an alarming surprise... This is the Funeral of Jordan Reynolds. Please stand by, and prepare the handkerchief.
We apologise for the fact so much of this week's podcast sounds like it was recorded on a potato. There's a section in the middle where the audio's fine. Please don't be put off. We worked hard on it. You're going to make us cry now.
On this week's show, we welcome aboard the man who claims to be Discharge's biggest fan, and he goads us into finally unveiling something we have been long-since banned from mentioning. James shows us a little bit too much, Ben has an awful job interview, Robbie briefly brings back a much-loved comedy character and Jordan gets his own simulator. All this and more, in a podcast you can just about make out the words in.
Every year, thousands gather to celebrate the world's greatest and most popular man, Lethal Bizzle. And this year, Verbal Discharge has exclusive rights to cover it...
Seeing as there's no major stories in the news, this week Discharge takes a step aside to cover a brand new festival dedicated to world-class grime artist Lethal Bizzle, as Robbie and James report live from backstage at a Lethal Bizzle gig! There's also a lovely little compilation of others things we've said and done that you've never heard before, including extensive discussion of Chris Tarrant's penis! You might as well listen, it's the shortest show we've ever done.
On November 7th 2016, Verbal Discharge set out to Make Nottingham Great Again with another live show, this time from the Malt Cross, in Nottingham's city centre.
It's our US Election special, from a room near a flooded cave in Nottingham! On this week's show, we have Trump-themed music by our special guest, the Midlands' finest wielder of a ukulele, Edi Johnston! We then have two hours of tremendous satire, just excellent satire, many people have said that it really is the best satire, it made people laugh bigly, it is tremendous satire on the US election. James investigates a web of lies, Robbie plays a game of Pin the Tale on the Donald, Jordan stands for election and Ben uncovers a grand conspiracy. Enjoy it, considering the way the election's looking, it might be your last chance.
This podcast is going up a matter of hours before polls close on the 2016 election, and was recorded before a live audience 24 hours before they opened, so we have to stress everything was fine and not doomed at the time of recording & release. If you're listening after the result is announced, chances are that's changed.
You can listen in the player above, on your preferred podcast app (Probably iTunes, let's be honest), or by right-clicking here to download.
He's there. Over your shoulder. Lurking. Waiting. Ready to pounce at any moment. You can't see him, but he lives in your shadow. Watch out. These are your last moments. So use them wisely and listen to this week's Verbal Discharge podcast.
This week! On the podcast! What happens? This happens: Jordan speculates on Middle Earth fetishes, James analyses a stranger danger video from 1980 and Robbie is in a mystery location. All this, and a decision as to whether or not Stranger Things was any good or not. We'd say we give a pretty definitive answer...
[btw gang our US election live show is on monday. just letting you know. please come. malt cross. nottingham. 7pm. ok cool see you there.]
Welcome to the spookiest podcast of the year, where spooky songs are sung and dead spooky podcast hosts are channeled through living spooky podcast hosts...
That's right, folks, it's almost Halloween, so time for us to do a vaguely Halloween-themed episode again! On this week's show, Jordan becomes a spirit medium, James freestyles some Halloween raps, and Robbie writers six new episodes of Black Mirror. It's a podcast that, in thousands of years time, is going to have people still talking, and wishing something else from twenty-first century culture had survived.
Earlier this week, we posted a seemingly-innocent poll. It asked which critically-panned sitcom should we try to marathon, and record our slow descent into madness? Well, The Big Bang Theory was the run-away winner, and the descent was anything but slow.
Listen in as James, Jordan, Robbie and Ben tear the show atom from atom! Continue listening as they begin to lose their minds and grow to resent everything in the world! Think about hitting pause and never coming back just in case one of them reaches tears! But who will take it best? Through how many episodes will they make it? Or will any of them actually come round and start to enjoy one of the most popular sitcoms on the face of the planet?
My name is Discharge. Funny name for an English podcast, I know. My hosts to be were on the same plane when it crashed. That's how they met. They named me after the name of the plane. Not many people are named after a plane crash. The plane is a metaphor for our experience recording this week's podcast.
When you wish upon a podcast, you get a podcast. Like this week's podcast. This week, we dissect the theme of wishes, of wanting, of hoping, of dreaming. On the show, Ben wishes for superpowers, Jordan becomes a small shouty black man, Robbie unveils the theme tune to the live-action Aladdin and James brings out an old impression. It's some podcast this week.
Sorry for the slightly underwhelming sound quality. And everything else.
This week Team Discharge sets out to explore Youth, and the big questions that surround it: What is Youth, where does Youth go, how do you experience Youth, and what happened in the film Youth starring Michael Caine?
An entire podcast all about the idea of youth, and how it slips between your fingers. Amongst recounting our yonderdays, James dips into his shallow bag of impressions, Jordan is terrified of a TV, and Robbie steals from a school. What a show your ears have ahead of you...
normal guys normal podcast
Oh my good lord, they've let them do another podcast. And look what they've done as a result. Jordan argues the case for biros in the world's most captivatingly dull debate, Robbie tries to write a sequel to Charlie Bit My Finger, and James has some, shall we say, interesting genitals. And far more, obviously. Only a show with far more would generate this week's podcast art.
I am a DJ, I am what I play. Can't turn around now, can't turn around. I am a DJ, I am what I play, and what I play is mostly this week's new Verbal Discharge podcast.
After last week's spectacular, bumper-length sold-out live show, did you think we'd rest on our laurels? Yeah, so did we. But, alas, Discharge is back, and with a very special guest to boot. This week, we're joined by Radio One presenter and one of the country's top DJs, Danny Howard, who talks getting started as a DJ, his iTunes collection and some Nickelodeon classics. Elsewhere on this week's show, Ben smuggles two rubber ducks into the studio, Jordan considers moving to Italy, Robbie tries to remember what's happened recently and James writes Neil Gaiman's new book for him.
The interview with Danny Howard starts at around 7 minutes.
On Thursday 15th September, you rallied in your hoards to The Maypole Cafe-Bar & Theatre to enroll in the University of Verbal Discharge. And now, we present, our second live show, in podcast form, for your listening pleasure.
Listen back as we attempt to give you the fullest-possible University experience over the course of two hours, covering Fresher's Week, lectures, running our of money, running out of food, graduation and more besides. This week, James gives us a comprehensive history of fashion, Robbie develops a worrying tic as he teaches us the secrets to success is business, Ben find what's really inside the brain, and Jordan finds nothing inside a sport science student's brain. All this and much, much more (It's our longest-ever episode, so we mean it for once).
There are numerous points of the evening in which the audio you can hear was supported by visuals, and one point in particular where a huge laugh comes from a face one of the team pulls. The podcast is obviously not the best way to experience this week's show. That would have been to come down, last Thursday, and see it live. The video version shall be up in the next week too.
Once upon a time, in the kingdom of Verbal Discharge, there lived a little podcast...
Looks like a little podcast squeezed out of us, no need to look away, it's a perfectly natural process. This week, Robbie tests us on our Welsh, James becomes a frail old lady and Ben speculates over more celebrity deaths. Well, if that doesn't sound like the best show ever, I don't know what does...
Oh come on, did you think a major politician could say he has a 29-inch penis and we wouldn't focus on it?
A very Verbal Discharge Friday to you all! The whole team's back together for the first time in almost three months, for your listening pleasure. This week, James attempts to rewrite some classic movies, Robbie gets bored of being a topic podcast, Jordan says poo and Ben showcases once more his remarkable knowledge of early-noughties children's TV. What a wonderful hour you have in store.
Forewarning: There is no comedy in this week's episode of our comedy podcast, but please don't let that put you off.
It's a looser show this week, as Verbal Discharge grapples with the big questions. What is comedy? Can you tire of the widest universe? How big a hack is Ricky Gervais? This week, Ben fails to fix a car, Robbie feels proud of a joke he didn't make, and James should feel ashamed of a joke he did make. Some fun, some food, it's all in this week's Verbal Discharge...
It comes bursting through the door. Discharge. It screams at you. You scream back, but it does no good. The Discharge has no ears. Only a mouth, a screaming comedy mouth. You take a deep breath and settle down. There's only one thing for it: You need to listen...
So what's going on this week? We'll tell you what's going on this week. Robbie writes to his one true love, James gets attacked by a kid with a piece of paper, and Ben begins a new career managing a comedy shop. All this and probably more. If you want to find out for certain, you'll just have to listen, won't you?
The greatest novelist residing in the living world, Scandinavian genius Jorben Bowen, has written a brand new novella. It's a mind-bending thriller about a podcasting dog, with a thickening plot and twists aplenty. And the only place you can access it is here, in audiobook form, on the Verbal Discharge podcast.
Yes, that's right! After generously writing a pilot script for Ducky McDuck, the man who makes people think "This guy is really good at writing" himself, Jorben Bowen, has kindly donated his latest masterwork, Life's a Dog, to the Discharge cause. In the place of a podcast this week, we instead present the Verbal Discharge cast reading the new novella from the acclaimed author of Concord Swordfirewolf and the Monster That. Listen as James, Robbie, Ben and Jordan read the gripping story of Gnarls Shingler, a dog hell-bent on keeping his gaming podcast going after the death of his partner. It's a story full of twists, turns and totally coherent storytelling that was definitely really honestly written by one really talented author with a grand plan for where it was going.
It's the greatest show on Earth, as the world's top specimens gather for a global event that thrills and excites people in every country the world over. That's right, it's another Verbal Discharge podcast!
Welcome to the latest Verbal Discharge podcast, definitely live from the 2016 Olympic opening ceremony in Rio, and not a small room in Derby! This week, Jordan presents the coverage of the Olympics, Robbie suggests some new events for 2020, and James is dubious about Suicide Squad. All this and more on Verbal Discharge, the Official Olympic Podcast.
Every week, the Verbal Discharge team produces some comedy and some other stuff. Every week, the Verbal Discharge team slaves tirelessly over a new podcast, like a tireless slave. Most weeks, Verbal Discharge has a team of four, working on new content. This is not one of those weeks. This week, we are looking for fresh blood. Do you think you have what it takes to join the Verbal Discharge team?
Well if you do, you're too late, because we've already narrowed the field down to five. On this week's show, James and Robbie go on the hunt for two new team members, as they conduct five jobs interviews with five potential new Discharge cast members to see if they have what it takes to star on an award-winning comedy show...
Discharge returns from hiatus, without actually returning to a studio to record in. We spin back into the podcasting circle live from Markeaton Park, Derby, as we try to catch up on a whirlwind few weeks...
We're back, and recording an episode outside! This week, James has something to say about Brexit, Ben almost gets himself arrested by a sunless underling and Robbie joins a hopeless political party. All of this and more from the only British satirical podcast that is only just getting round making 52% jokes...
*Also: Whenever he speaks, Robbie is really quiet this week. If you're wondering why, it isn't anything to do with recording outside, or a post-Brexit vocal depression, he just forgot to turn his microphone on. Idiot.
Welcome to another installment Verbal Discharge In The Morning, Britain's premiere light entertainment show broadcast before 12PM!
This week, The Jam frontman Paul Weller stops by to tell us about his new album My Name is Paul Weller, Gerbal Steinfeld has all the latest from what pundits are calling 'The Football', celebrity chef Liam Gallagher teaches us another delicious recipe you could cook in prison, we read out your tweets on the big Europe issue, our resident amateur film man Robbie Owen ruins the ending of Miracles From Heaven starring Jennifer Garner and glamorous weatherman Ben Knight gives a glamorous weather report about the glamorous weather. All this and more on the greatest breakfast show to ever definitely be broadcast every morning on a major TV station all the time and not be one bloke doing silly voices for 40 minutes because we couldn't record a proper podcast this week.
Hey, nothing went wrong with the recording this week! It's a minor miracle! And just in time for the Euros, the close of voting registration and the 6th anniversary of an average romcom!
We're back with relatively little thirst vengeance, as we celebrate the most important week of the year, depending on your priorities. This week, Jordan frets over his porn habits, James debates the EU referendum, Ben shouts over the top of everyone as normal and Robbie recounts Letters to Juliet starring Amanda Seyfried. We do also talk about the Euros, so if you like football then you should totally listen to us. We're really funny and handsome and charming. Not particularly modest, but nobody's perfect.
Hello to anyone listening on iTunes! The show is actually called "Milking Dust from a Fox's P*. Fox's P* is rapper. A very successful rapper, I can't believe you haven't heard of the ol' StarFox before.
So, another week, another studio mishap, but another Discharge. We're all crammed around one mic this week, which is why James sounds really far away, but also still the loudest of any of us, because he's James bloody Bosson. This week, Robbie exhibits his Leicester City fandom, James speculates on penis dust and Jordan avoids talking about his brand new employer. Some fun, some food. It's all inside this week's podcast.
It's podcast time again, gang! Only yesterday we found ourselves unable to record this week due to the old technical difficulties, so instead we present half an hour of NEVER BEFORE HEARD bits and pieces from the Verbal Discharge archive!
This week, only Robbie is really present, but you can also hear Jordan wait for Natalie Bennett, Ben forget how to use a microphone, James speculate on what Mel Gibson's up to. All this and a few more bits and bobs, carefully curated from everything we've ever recorded without putting on the podcast.
Live show over and done with, it's back to business as usual with Team Discharge. By which we mean, Ben isn't here and we talk about George Osborne again.
It's another podcast for your best friends in the whole world. This week, James has a hellish job interview, Jordan eats an old woman and rides a horse, and Robbie questions Nicholas Cage's sandwich choices. All this and some other nonsense, in a podcast that felt like a bit of a comedown from last week. By which we mean it's really good and you should listen to it right away, obviously.
Verbal Discharge is 50! Not only have people let us do 50 of these, people actually paid to come and see us do the 50th show! But, for those of you who couldn't be at The Maypole Cafe-Bar & Theatre last night, walked out part-way through and feel guilty or simply want to relive the whole thing all over again, the show is now available in podcast form!
So what did we get up to this week? We had a special intro from Derek Acorah! We had a whole audience! On this week's show, Robbie speculates over how Derek Acorah might spend his money, James eats an olive live on air, Jordan narrates the pilot episode of Ducky McDuck, Ben resurrects a pig and Robbie's brother outshines all of us. All this and so much more on our longest-ever episode. Sorry and you're welcome in equal measure.
Cheap holiday in other people's misery, I don't wanna holiday in the sun, at not without a really good podcast. Like Verbal Discharge. Maybe not this episode, but certainly an episode. OK. This episode it is.
It's our final live show on Phantom Radio, and as such we set out to celebrate our time as we burn any and all bridges in sight. We also, on the live broadcast, played All Star by Smash Mouth eight times, which might explain one of the links. This week, James gets angry about the Karate Kid, Robbie has an erotic encounter with a Frenchman, Ben starts a punk radio station and Jordan drinks. But! This isn't our last ever episode! Oh no! Because next week, we're going to be live at the Maypole Cafe-Bar & Theatre! For episode 50! Tickets are on sale now from Derby Live, or available on the night.
AHAAHHA! Here's a podcast to treasure, me buckos! Verbal Discharge! Whichever lilly-livered podcast-host makes you crack up first, wins the game! But no one knows where the laughs are going to pop out next! Shiver me timbers, Verbal Discharge is a barrel of fun! From Tomy!
And we'd just like to take this chance to congratulate the small number of listeners familiar with noughties UK toy adverts who appreciated that. For the rest of you? This week, Robbie falls for an email scam, James invents a kinky game of Pop-Up Pirate!, Jordan compares the big issues and Ben finds the villain that shall bring down Spider-Man once and for all. It's a good one this week, honest. Trust Discharge!
Mysterious. Adjective. From French mystérieux. (1). difficult or impossible to understand, explain, or identify. (2). (of a person) deliberately enigmatic. (3). this episode of Verbal Discharge.
This week, Verbal Discharge launches head-first into the world of mystery. All four members tell the tale of the most (Or not, in Ben's case) mysterious, spooky thing that ever happened to them. We solve the cases of Flight MH370 and Madeline McCann. We troll the World of Warcraft subreddit. All in a day's work. This week, James is visited by a ghost, Ben is on his usual nostalgia bender, Jordan investigates a spooky toilet and Robbie gets called the wrong name by a cleaner. Or, and the studio is really bloody hot. We're talking fourty degrees plus. With no air conditioning. So forgive us for incoherence. We were really bloody hot.
Bionicle! Erotica! Batman Vs Superman! It's like our Christmas list when we were 12! This week, Ben brings up Bionicle, James is a hot-stuff Hollywood actress, Robbie watches Batman use Google, and Jordan has graphic sex with James, despite not even being here. Oh me oh my, it's Verbal Discharge, ladies and gents.
"I say boy, what day is this?" You shout from your ivory podcast app at a poor pauper. "Corr, guvnor, it's Friday" he replies, his throat breaking up as you watch, the black lung consuming him completely until there is no more. But you don't care. "I haven't missed it!" you exclaim, and head hurriedly to your iPod. There's a new episode of Verbal Discharge to download...
And what do we have to take your mind off the dead kid on your driveway? Well well well. This week, James solves world inequality with an autistic goat, Jordan recounts his footballing past, and Robbie eats an entire battenberg in less than 10 minutes. An entire battenberg. A real, full-sized battenberg. He still hasn't quite recovered, even if you're listening in 2019.
You splutter into the light. The divine presence gazes upon you, ready for judgment.Your eternity is to be decided in these few, blistering seconds. You have lived a good life, a full life, a sin-free life. You state your case to the creator, and he looks back upon you. And he speaks, in the most broad and wonderful voice, he speaks. "You have lead a model life," he says. You clench a fist in semi-celebration. "But you did not listen to Episode #44 of Verbal Discharge." And without so much as another word, you are cast into the pit, where Satan lies waiting, your eternity spent in regret of the one play button you never pressed.
We're not saying listening to this podcast will guarantee you entry into heaven, but it certainly won't hurt. This week, James asks about your mum, Robbie delivers the annual budget, and Jordan blames his woes on Uber. All this and the usual nonsense! It's a pretty good one this week. You'll enjoy it, whilst letting it wash away your sins.
"Darling!" your mother shouts "Your friends are here!". You rush to the door. It's those Discharge boys again. "Hey man," says the eldest one, with no respect for the grammatical laws of speech "You wanna come out for another podcast?". Your mother turns and looks at you disapprovingly. She doesn't want you to go, but she knows you're a big boy now. She wants to let you make your own decision. You take one look at your mother and, as the guilt trickles into your mind, you bound out the door, and towards the podcast...
Those Discharge boys have delivered another podcast for you, and this week it's another BLINDER. James is feeling particuarly fashion-savy, Robbie gets us in touch with our true hedgehog selves, and Jordan must act opposite Dark Jordan in an amazing school face-off. All this and some more nonsense and additional plugging of our live show, which you can buy tickets for right now! But, in the meantime, there's a show for you to be listening to...
Does the podcast form make you uncomfortable, Mr Lebowski? Our podcasts have been described as strongly comedic. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Comedy. They don't like hearing it and yet, without batting an eyelid, a man will refer to his drama, his biopic, or his thriller.
It's Friday, so it must be time for a new Verbal Discharge podcast. This week, Robbie convinces a woman he's won four Oscars, James tries to sell taglines for the Oscars, Ben has watched Spy Kids and Jordan is confused by Osama Bin Laden. It's worth listening to. It's kinda chaotic, occasionally morally dubious, but we'd like to think that makes for a good podcast.
The title is clever because it sums up what we talk about, whilst spelling out ISIS, which we also talk about. Yes, there's some redundant words in there, and it doesn't quite work on it's own, but hey. We're being clever. So come back when you've done something even more clever, like invent the lightbulb. Oh wait, Thomas Edison beat you to it. Looks like there really is no worth in you after all.
What? You want more Discharge? After the last forty weeks? Fine, well more Discharge you're getting. This week, Robbie, James and Jordan all recount their definitive secondary school experience, from crying in French class to punching a kid in the face. Plus! We talk about ISIS and feathers, because pfftttt why not. It's our show, don't you know.
In the town where I was born, there lived a man who made a podcast, and he told us of his life, in the domain of Grek, your new scuttling goblin president.
Another week, another Discharge. This week, Ben, Robbie and Jordan disappear and, through uncanny means, become a number of incredible characters, from Grek, a goblin running for president, to Donald Trump, a goblin running for president. Particular fans of nonsense, please, hit that play button.
The Green Party of England and Wales were formed in 1990. They won their first parliamentary seat in 2010. They hit record election figures in 2015, receiving 1.1 million votes. But, in 2o16, they entered he big leagues. In 2016, Green sent their party leader, Natalie Bennett, to appear on Verbal Discharge...
We've made thirty-eight episodes before now, and they've mostly been nonsense. This week that's probably especially true, but in the middle of it all we were honestly, really joined by the leader of Green Party, Natalie Bennett. She genuinely came on the show, and we quizzed her in typical Discharge fashion: Children's TV, flop-haired troglodytes, even a certain chancellor's particular recreational habits. This is probably the only time you'll ever hear an adult man try to goad a national party leader into doing a Daffy Duck impression. If that's not reason enough to listen, surely nothing is...
We do have a few other things going on this week (Academies! Rap battles! Basketball! Jordan's remarkable Nigel Farage impression!), but I think you'll forgive us for being focused on the green, green guest of home.
We really hope you came across this podcast accidentally because you searched iTunes for 'Keith Chegwin's Robot Penis'. If you're here because you like the show and listen to it every week, that's good too, but if you're the kind of person who looks for songs about Chegger's cyber-cock, we like you, and want to be your friend. Possibly even your husband, depending on how you feel about socks in bed.
Another week, another Discharge. This week, we make a very exciting announcement about next week's show! And then do some stuff on this week's show, too, obviously. Namely, Robbie tells every single joke from Michael Bay's 13 Hours, Jordan reacts to reaction videos, and James tries to get Ant & Dec's Live Fly Tipping back on air. Forget it, James. It's never going to happen.
Someday, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day, accept this podcast as a gift on my daughter's wedding day. It's got a bit in it where two fully grown men have a spontaneous rap battle over their favourite member of Totally Spies! and everything. You'll love it. In fact, just have it. Have it for free. Click play. No, really, do it. This is an offer you can't refuse.
Discharge again! This week, Robbie and Ben fight over Totally Spies!, James and Ben are Jordan, and Robbie and James face off in a children's TV version of the Helmand Province. Plus! The return of Alana The Pokehuman, closure on the hospital story from last week and a moment in which Ben almost tells us more than we really needed to know.
I'm not sure why you continue to question it. It's in the title of a podcast now. George Osborne, the UK's chancellor of the executor, is a cocaine fiend. Just look at him, for crying out loud. Never has something been so obvious. Anyway, here's a podcast, full of the usual baseless accusations/truth.
Interested in any particular lies/well-thought out segments? Well, to give you the obligatory run-down, Jordan has some suggestions for George Osborne, James investigates the death of Alexander Litvinenko and Robbie tells us of his trip to the hospital. Oh, and George snorts loads of charlie. It's all ready to enter your ears...
Let me show you how it works. First, you press play on the player. This readout tells you how much longer you have to go, this one tells you where you are, this one tells you where you were. You input comments on this keypad. Say, you wanna hear James on a bouncy castle, or witness the birth of Discharge. Here's a red-letter date in the history of science, November 5th 1955. Yes, of course, November 5, 1955...That was the day I invented this episode of Verbal Discharge.
Wow Doc! Another episode of Verbal Discharge! This week, the Discharge crew reassembles purely to sit around and reminisce, like village elders, or the Welsh. What are our topics this week? James striding into a bar in his pyjamas. Jordan being left for dead in an Olympic swimming pool. Robbie causing a girl to have a minor breakdown. Ben's world-class David Bowie impression. Proof all these things actually happened is in this week's podcast...
Should old acquaintance be forgot, you can just listen to this week's podcast. The flames of love extinguished and fully past and gone, you can just listen to this week's podcast. That thou cans't never once reflect, in this week's podcast.
This week, we take a look back at the Best of Discharge this year just gone, as we reflect on EVERY SINGLE SHOW (In brief) and have clips from EVERY SINGLE SHOW (In brief) as the Discharge team talk (In brief) about EVERY SINGLE SHOW we've done this year just gone, and present our favourite moments, the things that stand out, and amusing moments Robbie came across whilst he was editing it. Don't go thinking this is just a clip show. It's so much more than that. It's so much more exciting than that. It's got a Supercut of James saying Jason Momoa over and over again, for one. If that's not cause to listen, surely nothing is.
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, everyone was listening to Verbal Discharge, even the mouse, who really didn't get the references to late-'90s/early-'00s children's television.
Ho ho ho! It's that time of year again! Another Verbal Discharge Christmas Special charges, reindeer propelled, into your ears. This year, Emily Blunt, Sigmund Freud and Tina Fey's mum pull crackers, Discharge writes the next great Christmas movie and we eat Paul Walker's charred remains, all whilst spreading the festive cheer. Tis, as the old song goes, the season to listen to award-winning comedy podcasts from Derby, after all.
Last Saturday, the UK's top hatemongers, Britain First, aggressively gatecrashed a peaceful protest in the East Midlands town of Derby. Spewing racism and bigotry everywhere they went, Verbal Discharge was there to record the whole thing. And now, your honour, we present the evidence.
Yes, in the podcast this week we tear into the activities of aggressive spud-men and bean-women Britain First, with aid of an exclusive recording. Robbie and Ben were there, and have some things to say, while Jordan has written some fanfiction. I suppose we can't all be up to exciting things all of the time.
Please do not judge thou by the actions made in life, but in Discharge. Do not select thous sins based on his life, but on his Discharge. And do not Discharge on thou's actions, but on his podcast. Thou should listen to this podcast, basically.
And do not blame thou for having to cut twenty-plus minutes out of the podcast because technical difficulties plagued the live show. But hey! It's another week, another show, and our last live show before Christmas before we switch to solely podcast form. This week, Robbie arranges dinner with David Cameron, Ben continues the journey of Alana the Pokehuman, Jordan takes a spelling test and James receives a sinister phone call. All in a week's Discharge.
Something happened in the world this week. Something important, that Verbal Discharge feels strongly about. Something we've been told we can't talk about. So we're not going to talk about it. Oh boy, you won't believe how much not-talking about it we do.
Yes, as we gently brush the trunk of the elephant in the room, another podcast comes into being. This week, James is angry about Syria, Jordan is angry about Syria, Robbie is angry about not-Syria and Ben is bemused by Shadow the Hedgehog.
"This is my simple religion." once preached the Dalai Lama. "There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is Discharge." And this week we have another Discharge for you, exploding from the bowels of nowhere. This week, James makes us sad, Jordan makes us rowdy and Robbie makes us play parlour games. It's another podcast from your best friends. We are your best friends. You love us. So listen to our podcast.
Discharge ahoy! The winds pick up, the storm sthreatens to blow the HMS Discharge off course, but, alas, through some expert sailsmanship, another podcast-ship pulls into the iTunes-harbour, and the content-crew prepare to disembark for home (Your ears).
Yes, we're back, etc, let's ignore that metaphor, and tell you that this week Robbie lists the 36 things he knows about gangster rappers, James provides some top tourism tips and Jordan prepares the noose for some well-know and well-loved comedians. It's... Shipshape. And better than this stupid ship joke thing. So much better. Ignore this. Just listen to it.
Madonna, the world's leading businesswoman and actress, once said "A lot of people are afraid of what they want. That's why they don't get what they want." But there's no need for you to be frightened of another episode of the Verbal Discharge podcast!
Verbal Discharge springs back into life for yet another week of nonsense, nonsense and more nonsense. The only thing that makes sense is you listening to it. This week, Ben changes identity, James is angry with a postman, Jordan embraces the world of debate, and Robbie discovers the Wild Thornberry's episode that never was. If that doesn't sound like the best thing you've ever listened to, then we're clearly underselling it.
Remember, remember, the first podcast of November! The gunpowder trio and show; I know of no reason, why this Discharge podcast should ever be forgot! Or at least not listened to immediately by your good self!
It's another podcast, and this time the live show went out on the Fifth November, meaning that we mention fireworks. It's fine, you can pretend it's still bonfire night. This week? What happens this week? James gets sexy with some slugs, Robbie tests us on the world of popular culture, and Jordan is a little tub of bum cream. It's all yours to listen to now...
The point is, ladies and gentleman, that Verbal Discharge, for lack of a better word, is good. Discharge is right, Discharge works. Discharge clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Discharge, in all of its forms; Discharge for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And Discharge, you mark my words, will not only entertain your ears for the next hour-and-a-bit, but that every orifice covering your body.
What ho, it's Discharge time again. Yes, as that comedically quirky old-timey man just said, there's another new podcast for you right here. This week, Jordan runs a whale-based game of Dungeons & Dragons, Robbie delves into the legend of The Halloween Man, and James offers every member of the population a gallon of bleach. Oh, and there's an issue with Jordan's microphone, but we weren't gonig to mention that. Whoops. Just ignore it. Just get over it. It'll all be OK.
It was in October, 2015, and the speaker was the well-known Jamesette Bossonivich, maid of honor and favorite from the Verbal Discharge podcast. With these words she greeted Prince Jordan Reynoldsosky, a man of high rank and importance, who was the first to arrive at her reception. Jamesette Bossonivich had been laughing for some days. She was, as she said, listening to Verbal Discharge; Discharge being then a new podcast in St. Petersburg, listened to only by the elite.
War, peace, and everything in between (Which is everything), that's just a small taster of what's coming up on the latest Verbal Discharge podcast. This week, James sets up a murder mystery, Robbie orders a pizza and Jordan sings about Daniel Craig blowing a raspberry. All that's needed now is for you to hit 'Play' and sink back into the pot of glory that is Episode #24...
Life, as top-class Jamaican songman Bob Marley once preached, is one big road with lots of signs. So when you’re riding in the ruts, don’t complicate your mind. Free yourself from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts, put your vision into reality. Wake up and listen to the new Verbal Discharge podcast!
It’s a podcast in nothing other than the fact it’s a podcast this week, as Verbal Discharge returned to the airwaves, with a glorious live show on Phantom Radio, everyone’s favourite spooky Derby radio station. However, as you’d hope and expect, the podcast fairies have cut the musicy nonsense and distilled the Discharge down to another fantastic on-demand ear-shot! This week, Robbie takes us to a magical garden centre, Jordan spreads poo on the walls, Ben berates a bloke and James celebrates the best film ever. Yes, this is a description that makes you want to press the play button above…
The endless void. It comes towards you, threatening to swallow you up. It looks you in the eye, and your life flashes before you. This is it, you think, gripping your mind with all you have. The void grows, and it swallows. Soon there is nothing, but you, and the new Verbal Discharge podcast left in the universe. And the void stops. And you realise it wasn't evil all along: it has given you the only thing you need to be happy.
It's that time again! Verbal Discharge returns for another week, ready to impress your eardrums. This week, Jordan is tired, James is tired and Robbie has found a very remote way to personally harass a well-known public figure. In case you couldn't tell, it's one of those shows. The really good type of shows, obviously, this is Verbal Discharge we're talking about.
Oh me, oh my, oh joyous day! Oh, once more, oh what glory is sent upon us! It is another Verbal Discharge day, another prime chance for me to cleanse my sins, to listen to a podcast so good, so great and so holy that if I listen to it enough times, The Lord may just forget about the seven murders I committed in 1969, including popular actress Sharon Tate!
It's some top-notch Discharge this week, as the usual suspects reassemble for one last podcast-only show before returning to the airwaves on Thursday. This week, Jordan brings us in from the apocalypse, Robbie plays Top Trumps and James decides the world needs to speak a bit more like Danny Dyer. Don't hold it against him.
Most stars take millions of years to die. When a star like the Sun has burned all of its hydrogen fuel, it expands to become a red giant. This may be millions of kilometres across - big enough to swallow the planets Mercury and Venus. This is almost as big a deal as a new episode of Verbal Discharge. Especially! Especially!When it's a four-man Discharge. Yes, that's right, the fourth guy you forgot was even a part of the team turns up this week, and boy does he open his mouth multiple times! This week, Ben is here, Robbie isn't in Croydon, Jordan is into Action Man and James is in the realms of the truth. Yess, what an exciting show we have for you today...
Time. It passes slowly, like a footballing snail. And yet, pass it does. For after months of worthless, heavy, dull time, the good times are here again: That's right, the one thing that gave you the motivation to continue drifting through the abyss of time is back! It's the return of the Verbal Discharge podcast!
Yes! Back at last! The Verbal Discharge team are reunited, purely for your listening pleasure and not because they get on or are actually friends or anything! This week, James creates the definitive list of what is offensive, Jordan tells us of dead cat toys and Robbie does something that almost sounds like a quiz. Yes, it's good to be back...
There's an old joke: Three young men are in a radio studio when one says "Boy, the show right here really has won an award" and the other says "I know, and in a small portion this week". Well, that's essentially how I feel about life.
Yes, there's some Discharge this week. James rings Ben, Jordan speaks to Robbie, Robbie acknowledges James and Ben is on a bus. Topics of conversation? Well, the title is a hint. We're all very tired, very award-winning, very referring to a Mars expedition and very into- Wait. Let's leave it there. Just... listen to it.
Shall I compare thee to a summer's Discharge? Thou art more xenophobic and more full of bits where someone pretends to be a rough bloke called Amanda...
Yes, that's right, Discharge is back for another fun-packed show! This week, Jordan gets burgled, James heads down t'pit and Robbie watches a man snort coke off a bin. Unfortunately not live. Could you imagine what a show that would have been? This is the next best thing.
It's Friday, we're in the Verbal Discharge studio, it's an non-descript time, we've also forgotten how the Saturday Night Live intro actually sounds... It's FRIIIIDAY NON-DESCRIPT TIME LIIIIIIIIIIVE!!
Which is our way of saying this week's show was recorded a couple of weeks ago, so the on-the-nose, zeitgeist-bating cultural references we are so known for making will be a few weeks off. Umm, sorry, we think. Anyway, this week you can hear Jordan and James try to seduce Adolf Hitler, a rap about pasties by our lord and master David Cameron, a threat to the world's authorities and all the general debauchery. Stick it in your lugholes.
Hey. You. Yeah, you. With the face. We know what you're doing. Leave the poor lass alone and come stick this in your ears. There's a good boy. Nobody likes a show-off.
That said, this week's show is so very great that you may just feel obligated to listen, rather than the usual measly compulsion. This week, Jordan takes on Animal Crossing's answer to capitalism, Tom Nook himself, Robbie puts forward his Top Gear audition tape and James provides the children's sex advice agony aunt service all our listeners so desperately wanted to hear. Let the words flow through your ears, and we'll see you again next week...
As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to listen to Discharge. To me, listening to Discharge was better than listening to This American Life. Even before I wandered into the iTunes charts for an after-school podcast, I knew I wanted to listen to them. It was there that I knew I belonged.
Well, if that's the case, then click that player above and start listening to the glorious fourteenth edition of Verbal Discharge. On this week's show, Robbie has some advice for the young girls of the world, Jordan recreates children's classic Rainbow and James has us dance up an absolute storm. Well, all of them dance. And there will be a video. Soon. Really rather soon. What a scary prospect. But, in the meantime, here's an audio accompaniment for your darker days.
Who's that girl? Who's that girl? When you see her, say a prayer and kiss your heart goodbye. She's trouble, in a word getting closer to the fire. She's also a podcast, not a girl. You should put your glasses on, mate. Take a closer look. What made you think that was a girl? It's quite obviously an audio file.
On this week's Verbal Discharge, Robbie covers Pocketful of Sunshine, James writes to George Clooney and Jordan makes the original observation that HP Lovecraft was really rather racist.
In my younger and more vulnerable years, my father gave me a podcast that I’ve been playing over on my iPod ever since. “Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,” he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had. They," He would say "Have not listened to the latest episode of Verbal Discharge."
Yes, that's right, even more Verbal Discharge. This week, James is rude to a salesman and nice to Hugh Jackman, Jordan prompts a flashback and Robbie recounts the Cricket World Cup through the guise of a Woody Allen film. All this and a few more words and a couple of sounds on the latest Verbal Discharge!
Get out the way, dad! It's time for Verbal Discharge! You do know what that is! I talk about it all the time! It's that podcast thing with the- Yeah, that's right. Yeah, they did talk about Bill Oddie's penis last week. Yeah, but it's more than that. No, honestly, it is, dad. It is. I know that. I'm sorry. I'll do it now.
This week, James produces his celebrity death almanac, Jordan as ever asks all the important questions (And has his prepared bit bumped for time reasons) and Robbie gets really angry about Peppa Pig. Just you wait and hear him go. It's like a pork tornado.
This Friday: Goats, erotica, the KKK and a game show. It's either ITV's coverage of the apocalypse or it's Verbal Discharge. Thankfully for mankind, it's the latter. BBC has exclusivity on rapturous events.
On this week's show, Jordan ponders Bill Oddie and game shows, James presents tales of old ladies and wedding ladies and Robbie prattles on about doughnuts and barnyard animals. Oh, and we also exclusively reveal what happens on episode 780 of Verbal Discharge, howmanyever years early.
Guess who's back? Aside from the Ghost of JFK. He doesn't count. It's us! Verbal Discharge is back for more wittering for your listening!
On this week's show, James reveals the legend of the Worm Burglar, Robbie recounts a trip to Chester Zoo and Jordan's also there. In fact, if you went to school with him, there's a fair chance your name will come up on this week's show. Especially if you taught him Biology and are French. Which accounts for most of our listener base.
Do you like tangential ramblings, done with the pretense of celebrating a major holiday? Well, you might want to simplify your dating profile, mate. No wonder you're not having much luck. You should also maybe listen to this week's Verbal Discharge whilst you're at it. That's pretty much what's going on this week. This week, without the structure of a live show, we pretty much go where our mouths take us, and that includes a lengthy discussion of Scarlett Johansson movie Under The Skin, some movie taglines and further discussion of the skinned Sonic.
Ho, ho and, indeed, ho. It's the Verbal Discharge Christmas Special, as we wrap ourselves up in tinsel and parade ourselves around your lugholes. Take this how you will, but the greatest gift you'll be getting this year is this, as we gather the whole Discharge troupe for a festive hour-and-a-bit of broadcasting.
Listen in as we talk about some news that was out of date by the time we recorded it, never mind when you listen to it, name the greatest Christmas movie of all-time and how you the world's most politically correct Christmas poem ever written. All that plus some verbal faffing about. Plenty, in fact. That's the horse chestnuts. Are there lots of horse chestnuts? No idea. Nobody told us how Christmas works.
What's that? Oh gee, oh my, it's time for another edition of the thing they call Verbal Discharge. The regular contingent are here to guide you through a show comprising of lots of words and soundbites and things of that ilk. What kind of soundbites and words and ilk are we in for this week? Well, there are not one but two raps this week. This includes a particularly sweaty take on genre classic, the DK Rap.We also run through our favourite people called David Bowie, appoint Diane Keaton the Mayor of Telford, recite every American Indie Film Ever and discuss pooing in the pool. Yes, Verbal Discharge is a show that exists. We're not quite sure how it happened either.
What's that? Friday's show was an unrecorded, unbroadcast disaster? Well we're not letting you off the hook that easily! It's time for some bonus Discharge, as part of our studio overlords charity event, with a bonus disclaimer! Honestly, we're all about the bonuses this week. Even bonus guests from the station, who shout over each other. Bonus bonus bonus.
On this week's show, we discuss human platypi, stretched beetles and zombie horses, all from the comfort of a terribly echoy live venue! Listen and enjoy. Please.
Further Discharge abound this week as your regular human voices James and Robbie are joined by another human voice, this one going by the name of Martin. And then another special guest, only this one isn't so much a human voice and more of a December edition of Tractors & Machinery Monthly. On this week's show, we write a loving letter to national treasure Keira Knightley, compose meaningless debates and browse the UKIP store. Hitler's name also comes up. In a positive light. As a joke. But please ignore him and just think about Keira. Oh, how we love you Keira...
If two's company, three's a crowd, and four's Verbal Discharge, then what's Verbal Discharge with only two members? It's the show that tries it's hardest to get itself kicked off air, that's what.
Listen in as James and Robbie contemplate and, indeed, confess to, murdering children, Hollywood stars and native Americans in a never-ending hunt for glory. Other less morbid topics of discussion involve stripey socks, Harvey Keitel and brick tiling. Thrilling, we know.
You can listen online by clicking on the image above, or download by clicking this link. One of these days Apple is going to approve us...
"Oh Verbal Discharge! Oh Verbal Discharge" you cry, "Where are you at my hour of need?"
"Do not fear, fair maiden," proclaims Verbal Discharge, potentially muddling your gender, "For we have returned, and shall be with you for a bit longer than your hour of need, considering the run time of this, our second podcast, slightly exceeds the quantity of time you just stated."
You, in a moment of excitement/weakness/method acting faint, before you can hear exactly what delights lie ahead of you on this week's Verbal Discharge podcast. This week, we produce our own Mike Leigh film, discover whether Jordan really tore a sheep limb from limb and book a holiday to Flintshire, plus lots, lots more. Listen listen listen.
Gather your friends, gather your family, and ignore them all, as it's time for the first Verbal Discharge podcast!
This week, we take on some spooky Halloween nonsense, recount the greatest moments from Game of Thrones (by someone who has never seen Game of Thrones), and revel in the miracle that is death as it claims one of our own. However, this week, just to abandon all pretense of professionalism, you only get the second half of the show, as that's all we recorded at the time! The first half shall be available at a later date. In the meantime, we're sorry. Enjoy what of the show you have...