Illuminating Anorexia & Eating Disorder Recovery: Recent Episodes
Michelle Sparkes
Anorexia and Eating Disorder Recovery Help with Health Professional, Author and Coach Michelle Sparkes
Understanding and experiencing the Love of the Father* has been one of the most profound and significant keys to helping me overcome the fear and striving at the heart of my anorexia. Sinking the roots of my being into this Love helps me manage all the ways anxiety continues to show up in my life today. If this content resonates with you and you would like to explore these ideas further feel free to contact me at: info@michellesparkes.com
*The way I speak of the Father reflects my beliefs and experience from a Judeo-Christian worldview.
Late last year I had a dream that brought home to me in a powerful way the preciousness of each individual life, and fuelled within me a desire to let every individual to know how precious they are, how much they are loved and how much their life matters. May this truth blossom in your heart and lead you to a life that is free and flourishing.
Freedom is a journey that has no end because it is a state of the heart more than anything else - and we can always be growing in our sense of inner peace and security. I am many years recovered from the bondage and self-hatred of my anorexia but the journey beyond "recovery" into a life that is free and flourishing has been a longer one. And it continues. In this podcast and the last, I want to share a recent experience that illustrates how this journey into freedom has come about for me, how it is progressive in nature and how the inclusion of a spiritual dimension has been a key factor in apprehending the freedom I experience today.
To help clarify what I mean by recovery and freedom : to me recovery means no longer using food and body/weight/shape control to deal with difficult emotions and life's many challenges; freedom goes beyond recovery to incorporate the experience of living with a heart at peace, a healthy acceptance of self and body, no longer striving, driving or bending ones self out of shape to be something one is not or to please others but rather living from a deep core sense of well-BEing. For more information go to: michellesparkes.com
Getting free from the bondage of an eating disorder is a journey. In this episode I want to share an experience that helps illustrate how this journey (from bondage to freedom) has come about for me, how it is progressive in nature, and how the inclusion of a spiritual dimension has been a key factor […]
Wherever you are, whatever space you find yourself in, may your heart be encouraged, you are not beyond hope, you are not beyond help. Nothing is impossible with the God who loves you. If you feel exhausted, defeated, hopeless or despairing, I pray you experience His grace reaching in and taking hold of you, lifting […]
No matter how long you’ve been struggling with an eating disorder or disordered eating, you can get free of the attitudes and behaviours that keep you feeling stuck, hopeless and despairing. You can get off the food and weight control treadmill and recover your life. Hear the stories of four women experiencing this transformation in […]
Chelsea, 19, struggled with anorexia in her mid teens followed by a period of binge-eating and purging, which is not an uncommon experience in the recovery process from anorexia. In this podcast she speaks with Michelle about recovery, finding her way back to balance and discovering more peace and self acceptance. “Finding balance” Chelsea says […]
Chelsea, 19, struggled with anorexia in her mid teens followed by a period of binge-eating and purging, which is not an uncommon experience in the recovery process from anorexia. In this podcast she speaks with Michelle about recovery, finding her way back to balance and discovering more peace and self acceptance. “Finding balance” Chelsea says […]
Jeanne, 51, has struggled with disordered eating for decades. In this podcast she talks with Michelle Sparkes about finding hope and freedom from behaviors she thought she would have to live with. You can watch a video of the interview here : https://youtu.be/wZaNw_LzJdM info@michellesparkes.com
Freda, 38, has struggled with anorexia and disordered eating for 19 years. In this podcast she talks about the process of finding freedom from the obsessive thoughts and rules that circumscribed her life until recently. You can watch a video of the interview here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMV-qqqlXs info@michellesparkes.com
Kate is a 42 year old mother of two who struggled for decades with restrictive eating and over-exercise. In this podcast she talks with Michelle about discovering a sense of freedom that she says is “hard to put into words unless you experience it – it’s just a sigh of relief that overwhelms you.” This […]
The fear that drives us down the scales and into the self-destructive behaviours characteristic of anorexia and other eating disorders can grow into a terror that is difficult to articulate. I believe there is a spiritual dimension to this fear, that it grows from the seeds of lies believed in the crucible of life experience […]
I believe at the heart of an eating disorder lies a deep-seated hunger for acceptance and security. How we see our “self” and what we believe about our worth, value and entitlement (to life, nurture and good things) are critical issues in both the development of, and recovery from, an eating disorder. In this podcast […]
Have you ever felt deeply distressed, inconsolable or highly anxious? Right now in my country we’re grappling with the devastating impact of catastrophic bushfires. Closer to home my dearly loved mum is suffering and in decline. It got me thinking about comfort; it got me thinking about you. When we experience distressing emotions (as we […]
I got caught in an ocean current on the weekend and it got me thinking how quickly we can go from being in control (“I’m okay”) to being out of control (“I’m in danger”). The slide from disordered or unhealthy (even sub-optimal) eating patterns and behaviours into a full blown eating disorder can happen […]
Paralysing fear. Feeling stuck and terrified. Afraid to make a “wrong” decision; afraid to make any decision. Acute anxiety is a major feature of anorexia and something most of us will relate to in some measure. Even when you’re recovered from anorexia (as I am), there are times when situations trigger that old emotional response. […]
When we are locked in the self hatred of the eating disorder ‘cage’ we need to experience ourselves as seen, known, understood, worthwhile, valuable, loved. Even when and especially in the midst of our most acute struggles. For me the heart of the Christmas message is about this. The sound quality of this audio is […]
When it comes to communicating around a difficult situation or personal challenge I find the following piece of wisdom most helpful.
What do you say to two brave women now both in their 40s, struggling to stay ‘well enough’ to stay out of hospital after a long journey with anorexia, both traumatised by previous hospital admissions and struggling to know who to trust and where to turn. This is my response. I welcome your feedback and […]
A listener requests help “not to revert back to old bad habits” and to learn to eat when hungry. Here are some thoughts. Feel free to email your questions to: michelle@michellesparkes.com
I recently asked people what their greatest challenge or concern was when it came to their struggle in the ED/DE landscape. One respondent asked how to combat her fear of gaining weight when she “knew she must.” It got me thinking about the importance of compassion. If you are scared of gaining weight but know […]
When we explore what’s going on inside us in the lead up to a binge it helps makes ‘sense’ of our behaviour; our bingeing feels less mindless and out of control; we can view our situation with more curiosity and ourselves with more compassion. This in turn helps us consider what alternatives there may be […]
Bingeing isn’t just (or even mostly) about physical hunger, although if we’re not giving our body sufficient food on a regular basis we will certainly binge. Bingeing is primarily about emotional hunger. Emotional hunger starts us on the journey of restricting and continues to drive us (whether we’re eating regularly or not) until we do […]
There are a number of things to embody and embrace (skills to learn, knowledge to apply) to get free from disordered eating behaviours and beliefs but at the heart of it all, I believe there are 3 pillars that are foundational to living a life that is whole and free… “Value is your birthright, your […]
If embodying value is the first pillar to freedom from disordered eating; experiencing your body as home (not object) is the second…and they are intimately connected…listen here for more.
Here are three things that can help you value yourself in ways that are life-affirming and health promoting: Understand your intrinsic worth and value Reflect on what you value in others Spend (more) time in the company of those people
We binge because we’re hungry –physically, emotionally, spiritually We binge because we’ve been restricting – possibly even starving ourselves – of nurture – physical and emotional We restrict because we believe we don’t deserve (more food, love, affection, belonging) – or that we should be different somehow (better, perfect) – and until then, we’ll keep […]
If you struggle with disordered eating, self and body concerns 3 key things you will need to recover a life worth living are compassion, curiosity and support. Listen here for more…
Dear Carer you are a lifeline to the one you love. I know it can be tremendously challenging to watch someone you love restricting, starving, bingeing, purging or punishing their body. You KNOW these behaviours do not produce health, well-being or happiness. How can you assist your loved one move away from damaging behaviours and […]
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed or discouraged by an eating disorder ‘label’ or diagnosis this podcast will help you see that you are not alone, unusual or beyond help…and if you need more encouragement or ‘hard evidence’ get hold of my free ebook and begin your journey to freedom.
When pain comes our way it is natural to protect against it. And a very understandable way to protect against pain directed at the self or experienced within the self, is to try and control it. Food/body/weight control in this respect make ‘sense’ because it gives us a tangible way to make ourselves feel more […]
Freedom from disordered eating comes as we cease food restrictions and nurture body and soul. The first step on our road to freedom requires that we SEE that our current disordered eating behaviours, although originally well-intentioned, will never take us where we want to go. They will never bring us the inner peace, self acceptance […]
What happens when the drive for health becomes unhealthy? asks Jenny Brockie, host of SBS Insight, as she explores our nations “health obsession” with a roomful of people and three 20+ year olds struggling to recover from disordered eating and eating disorders. As I watched the show I found myself reflecting on the power of […]
“Could it be that depression is not purely a physical sickness but a spiritual malaise?” asks Elizabeth Farrelly in her article, “Finding the black dog’s spiritual lead” (The Sydney Morning Herald, 26-27 August 2017 , p.30). “Perhaps we should see it less a personal issue than a societal indictment, less a treatable pathology than a […]
More than just feeling down, clinical depression is a serious mental health condition that affects the way people feel, think, and react to general daily activities, such as eating, sleeping, or working. In Australia one-in-seven people will experience clinical depression in their lifetime and globally the number is one-in-five. Predicted to be the second leading […]
Great to be back in the podcasting seat! I’ve been offline piloting the 4×4 Freedom Express and really enjoying the face to face interaction involved. I believe human connection is more needed now than ever to promote health and well BEing in our fast-paced, low-grace, digitally-connected world. One thing I’ve noticed over the last few […]
I traveled through an eating disorder in my teen and early adult years (as illustrated) and lost ~ 15 years of my life spinning my wheels on the eating disorder treadmill because I couldn’t SEE what I was dealing with or why I was struggling and I didn’t have the knowledge, skills or support to […]
In the last episode I was saying that in my experience of anorexia prior to my hospital admission, I had become enmeshed, hyper-vigilant and ‘trigger-happy’ in my family environment. I was physically and emotionally starving but could not receive the nurture that existed in the relationships around me. Admission to hospital was the beginning of […]
When you have fallen for, and are isolated by the lie that you are not worthy or good enough you need to reach out…to connections that can affirm, nurture, and encourage YOU. It’s important to say here that anorexia itself isolates a person and lies to them about their worth and value in such a […]
Self and body acceptance go hand in glove. The message of EMBRACE may be a challenge for the young(er) person struggling with anorexia or ED because when we’re struggling in this space, our sense of self as “unacceptable” can go very deep. Without a doubt we need to see and celebrate more diverse body shapes […]
Embrace is a wonderful documentary (film) that celebrates body shape, size, and ethnic diversity. The brainchild of Taryn Brumfitt, a wife and mother of 3 who almost went under the knife in her quest to overcome body loathing, the message she brings goes beyond acceptance to embracing the skin you’re in whatever your shape, size, […]
Gaining weight from a low weight may be possible in an outpatient setting if a person is not critically unwell. If a person can make progress with the support of a doctor, dietician and therapist in an outpatient setting, fantastic. If not it simply means more intensive support is required. (See previous podcast notes for […]
To recover from anorexia a person will need to confront their fear of food and eating; their fear of getting fat and losing control. It’s a huge challenge because the semi-starvation diet of an anorectic CREATES the food obsessions and inflexible, polarised thinking that make seeking recovery so difficult. Fear drives anorexia; and the anorectic […]
“Pornified messages are bombarding our young people and giving them distorted ideas about their bodies, about relationships, and about sexuality,” says Melinda Tankard Reist, in this podcast interview, “According to global research, (this is) making our kids very unwell.” We are seeing a rise in negative physical and mental health outcomes, eating disorders, anxiety and […]
Grace, a podcast listener asks, “Do you have any insight on the impacts of not only the media, but porn as well. For the folks in relationships (I am married, second time around) is it such an issue for most people with ED? I recently found a great deal of it on a computer history […]
This series is designed to inspire you and help you dream again; to recover the hopes and aspirations deep inside you that may have got lost in your battle with an ED. When your eyes are cast down, lost in the life-consuming territory of an ED, you need a vision of the future that will […]
When the ED voice (the bully in your head) is making it hard or impossible for you to take in the nurture you need to survive and thrive you need help. You need other people to come alongside you and help you fight the lies and the fear that paralyses you SO THAT you can […]
When you’re fighting anorexia, you become afraid to eat. The terror of losing control and getting fat is REAL and is created by the eating disorder itself. I want to tell you, food is not your enemy; the fear of food and what it can do to you is your enemy. The ED voice lies […]
A great chat with Julie Duffy Dillon RD, dietitian, writer, speaker and host of the popular Love Food podcast, covering everything from her approach in working with people affected by ED/DE, to problems larger bodies experience in getting timely diagnoses, to her thoughts around mealplans and veganism, and her top 3 tips for making peace […]
Have you ever found yourself on a backroad by mistake or design? It’s a great opportunity to discover things you would otherwise miss. When we come away from mainstream messages about our worth and value, we have the opportunity to explore and discover (or recover) those things that are unique and special to us. When […]
“Love is On”…says Revlon and the message is that your lovability is dependent on appearance. Don’t be sold a lie. More on this in this podcast. Gwen a podcast listener expressed her frustration at being “bombarded by images that make normal people look horrible.” Apart from unplugging what else can we do? Here’s a few […]
Binge-eating is a common feature in the disordered eating landscape. Binge-Eating Disorder as a diagnosis affects around 3.5% women, 2% men and 1.6% adolescents. Today I speak with Ryan Sheldon, a male who has struggled with binge-eating disorder and is using his experience to help others through his blog, Confessions of a Binge-eater. Important take […]
As we move into 2017 I will be bringing new voices, ideas and inspiration to help you SEE and GET FREE from your ED – voices of people struggling with ED, voices of people who have recovered from ED, voices of people working with ED, and voices from related fields that impact upon ED. Coming […]
AMBIVALENCE refers to the tug of war that exists inside us when we feel pulled in two directions. Perhaps we know that something is not quite right (or perhaps people around us are reflecting this to us by expressing their concern). Until we are aware that we have a problem and ready to do something […]
Are you believing a lie about your worth and value? As you journey out of your eating disorder (or any life consuming/life controlling problem) you will “hit” some of the deeper (painful) self experience that sits below the surface of your (disordered eating) behaviours. This is a difficult but necessary part of recovery. At such times, […]
To know our worth and value at a deep level sets us up to do life in ways that are health-promoting and life-affirming. In this podcast I explore how our self concept develops using the analogy of building a house. We all have different experiences growing up and some people appear to have better “foundations” […]
What we believe in our heart shapes the way we see and do life – which in turn shapes our experiences and beliefs. It can be a continuing circle for good, health and life promotion, or it can be a continuing cycle for negativity, low self esteem and poor relationships. We have different life experiences […]
Self Esteem Vs Self Worth. Are they different? How are they different? And what difference does that make? I believe they are different and that the difference is significant to our mental health and well being. Here’s why… Self esteem refers to how we esteem (or value) ourselves and is made up of all our […]
Where we sit today (inside our skin; at home in our bodies) will be a reflection of our experiences – how we have internalised and processed our experiences and how these have shaped our beliefs, attitudes and behaviours – towards our body, our self, other people, our world. As we continue to act on, and […]
Louise, a podcast listener wrote in to say, “Thank you to this podcast for illustrating that people with eating disorders are still human and deserve to be treated kindly, still – thank you.” To be honest I was kinda shocked. To me it is so obvious that eating disorders are one of many ways we […]
I love the way newness (fresh hope and expectation) are woven into the very fabric of our existence in the natural world. We get a new day every 24 hours, a new season every 3 months and a new year every 365 days. I want to encourage you whatever your past year has been, whatever […]
My journey through anorexia, EDNOS and binge eating exposed the LIE that I needed to be perfect to be worthy and deserving of life. It may sound so obvious (we all know perfection is it is impossible right?), but as the lie grows it creates such a bind, it DISCONNECTS the heart and mind of […]
In this podcast I explore the lie at the heart of an eating disorder – how it starts in seed form and develops over time, being reinforced by the food control ‘solution.’ I explore why I believe human and divine connection is so important in breaking through the lie and helping a person move towards […]
I believe there are a handful of key truths that (experienced) will take us forward into LIFE, and that are essential to the health and well-BEing of every person. These truths relate to our core needs to know we have worth and value, that we are loved and lovable, and that we can experience security […]
It’s Christmas Eve and I’m mindful that this can be a challenging time for people depending on where they sit in their relationships with family and friends. Regardless of your circumstances or emotions right now, here’s a truth that can bring such peace and nurture to your soul. You are chosen, choice and cherished. Feedback […]
“Eating Disorders are not a choice” is a half truth that is unhelpful because it suggests that a person is powerless to get free from their ED. Nothing could be further from the truth. No one and nothing is more powerful than the affected person’s choice (over time and in situation after situation) in getting […]
How do you re-establish your sense of worth and value when you don’t believe you deserve (or are entitled) to these things? The eating disorder lie that says you are not good enough/not worthy/don’t deserve to take up space, can shame, isolate, bind and blind a person to the point where it becomes very difficult […]
Anorexia and other eating disorders reflect a hunger for life – a hunger to know oneself as loved, worthwhile, of value, and to feel secure within. This may surprise you because you may know someone who has developed an eating disorder and think they come from a good family; they’ve had good life experiences; why […]
Eating disorders are not a mystery. They reflect a way of dealing with emotional pain; pain in the heart or core “self.” You are not WRONG. Your hunger is not wrong, but because it’s origin is emotional (of the soul or psyche), your physical (food control) ‘solution’ will never take you where you want to […]
Have you ever felt awful about yourself after flicking through a glossy fashion or beauty mag? You’re not alone. Oskar T Brand analysed the content of an Elle and Cosmospolitan magazine and found that 85% and 65% of their content (respectively) comprised paid ads and content. Marketing specialists get paid lots of money to make […]
My ED shifted from anorexia to EDNOS to binge-eating, but the core truth I needed to know and experience at a deep gut level at EVERY stage of my ED was that I had worth and value as a person irrespective of my problematic behaviours. Not knowing this kept me stuck in an ED for […]
Your future is in front of you and is being shaped by your present. If you’re struggling with disordered eating in your present and you don’t want to carry this into your future you will need help to deal with what’s going on below the surface that’s driving unhelpful behaviours. At the same time understand […]
Your future is in front of you and it is being created right NOW in your present. Sometimes we want our future to look different but we haven’t let go of our past. Life is a journey for all of us, and new issues constantly arise but when we deal with new challenges out of […]
In the last episode I said that changing core beliefs requires more than just challenging our thinking. We need an encounter with truth that is experiential, life-affirming, full of grace and transformative. I shared how I experience this in relationship with the God who loves me unconditionally. But another very powerful and healing relationship is […]
In the last few episodes I’ve been speaking about capturing and challenging unhelpful thinking. This is an important tool in getting free from disordered eating but it’s not the whole story. Our thoughts spring out of our deeply held beliefs and these beliefs are formed in the crucible of our self and life experience. To […]
Have you ever felt so awful about the way you look you’ve stayed at home rather than going out with friends only to end up feeling worse about yourSELF and comfort-eating? Let’s use the ABC to catch and challenge unhelpful thinking in this typical disordered eating scenario. I welcome your feedback and questions. michelle@michellesparkes.com @mp_sparkes […]
It’s 11.00pm on a Friday night. A bevy of gorgeous young girls pass me wearing the accoutrements of our popular culture. Tight jeans on long slim legs, high heels with teeny tiny mini skirts and tight tops revealing cleavage. Looking sexy, looking hot. Absolutely. Wanting to be seen, desired, to belong, to be loved. Understandable! […]
Have you ever found yourself reaching for food, comfort eating or bingeing like you’re on autopilot? Before you know it you’ve gone down a track you never intended and it’s not until you stop eating that the resultant anguish and emotional turmoil hits you, and if you don’t take hold of your thoughts right here, […]
Albert Ellis developed a simple ABC framework in the late 1950s to help us “think about our thinking” and to capture the unhelpful thoughts or statements we often say to ourselves with little awareness of the unintended consequences. In this podcast I provide a simple example of how this ABC framework can be used to […]
If you’ve ever walked in the bush you will have noticed that some tracks are easier to walk down than others because they are well-formed, usually the result of plenty of traffic or use. It’s the same with our thinking. If we want to think differently in order to have new, healthier or better life […]
If you’re in a tight space, a small space, or a tired space right now, do you know how to shift that? One of the simplest and best ways I know to do this is to STOP what I am doing and shift my SELF literally and physically. To get up, to get out, to […]
The reason I’m so heated about worth, value and security is because a revelation and experience of these foundational truths deep in your soul will set you free from the lies at the heart of anorexia and other disordered eating experiences. Tall claim but true. Human love, valuing and connection is wonderful and healing (and […]
The 4th component of each of the 4 keys (in the 4×4 Freedom Express) is a spiritual component and I believe it’s foundational to getting whole and FREE in any area of life. I adopt a Christian worldview in that I believe human beings (and the world we inhabit) are CREATED, and that influences everything I […]
Vision is the master key to get FREE from anorexia & eating disorder concerns because unless you can SEE where you are relative to where you want to be, chances are you won’t get to your destination. And if you’re stuck and can’t SEE what’s keeping you stuck, you’ll stay stuck. You need LIGHT and […]
Ever tried to get somewhere you’ve never been before without a map? Difficult isn’t it. But with a map, things become clear, you can spot the dead-ends and plot the most direct route to your destination. Miche’s Model is a simple visual ‘map’ I developed to illustrate how an eating disorder functions and why getting […]
If you have a question, you can be confident others have that question too, and the answer to your question can help someone else. I love this concept. It makes this platform infinitely helpful. If you have a question or situation you’re willing to share, I’d love to hear from you. You can keep use […]
Freedom is a journey that has no end because it is a state of the heart more than anything else – and one can always be growing in one’s sense of inner peace and security. Bondage on the other hand is a small, tight place that can get so dark and airless it threatens to […]
When I think of an eating disorder I think of a small, tight place – a place of confinement or bondage – where one feels driven and constrained; where there is little joy, light, peace or hope. When I think of recovery from an eating disorder I see a wide, open field – a spacious place […]
I believe body acceptance reflects self acceptance; that how we feel towards, think and value our “selves” is the key to how we treat our bodies. I also acknowledge that social and cultural values strongly influence the communities, families and groups we belong to and thus affect how we value our bodies and our selves. […]
Real bodies are real beautiful because they house real people inside. But in a landscape of digitally and physically enhanced bodies, how do we determine where the lines and healthy boundaries are for us in terms of enhancement? These questions are not as simple as they first appear because we all engage in body/self care […]
I did a life drawing studio recently and was impressed by how well this experience translated into a deeper appreciation of how beautiful a “real” body is – it doesn’t need to be air-brushed, pumped up with botox or surgically enhanced to be beautiful. Personally I think REAL is beautiful – I think when we […]
When I speak about the 4×4 Freedom Express I’m not suggesting that recovery is quick or easy. I don’t believe it is. I do believe it can be a wonderful journey however and I AM suggesting there is a more direct route to be taken than spinning your wheels losing time, life and opportunity on […]
If you’ve ever taken an ALL STOPS train or bus to get to your destination you will know it takes forever and stops at places enroute you have no need or desire to visit…all of which takes precious time from you reaching your destination. Time lost on a train journey may not be significant but when […]
I started this podcast on a roll about freedom but I got sidetracked by a conversation with a mum who was concerned about her 13-year-old daughter with anorexia and the treatment approach that was being taken. This is my response including a message to her 13 year old daughter. In essence I believe a whole person […]
I love this quote by John Eldridge, “Let people feel the weight of who you are and let them deal with it.” It fits so well with the premise of Women Worth their Weight and the Freedom Express. I believe self acceptance is the key to overcoming disordered eating and developing health and life-affirming behaviours. […]
I believe the journey out of bondage into freedom requires a whole person approach. It’s not enough to focus on food or regular eating although that is very important. In my own journey from restricting anorexia into binge-eating/purging anorexia the lack of attention to what was going on inside me left me floundering in the […]
When we’re in the midst of anorexia it is very difficult to articulate the struggle we experience within. Our behaviour towards food and body reflect our inner experience (and are highly expressive) but not in a way that most people will understand. I wrote Illuminating Anorexia to help bridge this gap, to provide a “window in” […]
Picking up from the last podcast (Why I differentiate Anorexia from other Eating Disorders), I want to now illuminate the experience of restricting anorexia, the tightening treadmill (see also TreadmillDiagram) and the movement from restricting sub-type to binge-eating/purging sub-type. This movement within anorexia is not uncommon, and it can be easily misunderstood. I welcome your feedback and […]
The reason I differentiate anorexia from other eating disorders is because there are two sub-types of anorexia – a restricting sub-type and a binge-eating/purging sub type. Understanding the difference is important when considering how best to approach and support someone with anorexia. Unlike most ED presentations, a person with anorexia (restricting sub-type) does not present with recurring […]
Free to be wrong and free to be loved…woohoo! Bring on the freedom. This is a continuation of the previous post. Amazing, wonderful, mysterious, sublime how the realities of life, the vulnerability, the humbling, the movement down from our lofty ideals and self-importance are the very means by which we rise and are liberated to […]
One of the most liberating experiences of my life is to know and accept my frail, flawed, finite humanity. It reads like a misprint doesn’t it? As human beings we often spend much of our lives ‘protecting’ ourselves from this vulnerable reality but I have discovered it to be the very bedrock of freedom. And to […]
This is a brief addendum to the episode on Beating the bully in your head. When I said get out of the environment (change your perspective) and get going (release some of the energy bound up in the mental battle with the bully ), I was not advocating that you go out and over exercise if […]
I love this play on words. I use it deliberately. Perfectionism is a losing game. The more you chase perfectionism the more it will elude you. You will find yourself chasing your tail and getting worn down in the process. And who knows what you may lose along the way…health, friends, money, time… opportunity…JOY! I have loved […]
Have you ever found yourself getting beaten up by the bully in your head? Most people are familiar with this experience. It’s good to know how your bully operates. After five days cooped up at home trying to recover from flu I was aware of a sense of ‘time’ pressure building to complete some work. There was […]
I just listened to an interview on Hack radio regarding ‘Treating Anorexia.’ Canadian professor Louis Charland (?spelling), Philosopher of Science and Bioethicist, was speaking with Sarah McFee about the merits of treating anorexia as a “passion” (an affective disorder of feelings rather than thinking). He said current cognitive therapies are “just not effective enough” and […]
I was speaking with a young lady last night and it reminded me that when you’re in a healthy weight range it can be difficult for others to recognise that you are struggling with an eating disorder. If you need help with disordered eating please don’t think you have to get “sicker” for others to believe you have […]
I was reading a newspaper article this morning about the doubling rates of anorexia in young people under 14 years of age in the UK. We have similar figures in Australia. I thought I’d share some thoughts about how can we (adults) can help build resilience in our kids and younger people. Here are a few […]
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by bad news and challenging life circumstances? I’m sure we all have. When wave after wave crashes in on your world or ebbs away at you over a long season it can make it difficult to rise out of the bog and see (or believe for) anything hope-full in your […]
Following on from the last episode (where I spoke about some of the factors I believe are giving rise to the increasing prevalence of eating disorders and disordered eating in our communities), I want to say a little more about the importance of the roots of our security going deep into a foundation of unconditional […]
Two unrelated articles stirred my mind this week. One by journalist Brian McNair from University of Technology Queensland, about “terror going viral” where he explores some of the downside of our interconnectedness via Internet and social media. The other, by the National Eating Disorder Collaboration interviewing Prof Susan Paxton about the rising prevalence of eating […]
Following up my last episode with SB, realise I got a bit feisty but I know that when a person is feeling too ashamed to reach out for human help they need to know at a deep gut level (deep in their soul) that they are OKAY as they are; that their reality is NOT […]
The most powerful truth I know to help you get FREE from an eating disorder is to know (by experience) that you are loved, desired, of inestimable worth, chosen. You may never have experienced these things, and if you’ve been on the ED treadmill for a long time, the lies you’ve believed may blind your […]
A young lady wrote in to ask how she could get free from the ED mindset. This was my response. You can watch it on YouTube where I refer to the model I created to help explain the ED ‘solution’ to the problem of pain (you can download a copy of this model here). Getting […]
Have you ever felt like you would NEVER be free from your eating disorder or disordered eating experience? Have you ever wondered, "How on earth did I get stuck in this place where thoughts of food and weight (and exercise) consume me?! I didn't start here. How did this happen?" i want to reassure you, you are not […]
Have you ever watched something you wished you had not? I had this experience recently. It was a reminder that I need to be discerning about what I “let in” to my inner world via my eyes and ears. If I want to be healthy and at peace within, I need to guard and nurture […]
Pt 2 in a 2 part series originally shot on video and available on my YouTube channel. Recovering from an eating disorder requires (re) connecting with your self, your body and other people in healthy ways. You will need support. We all do. It’s part of being human. Reaching out is not a sign of weakness […]
Recovering from an eating disorder requires (re) connecting with our self, our body and other people in healthy ways. You will need support. We all do. It’s part of being human. Reaching out is not a sign of weakness but of strength. Help is available. Here’s some options and things to consider as you look […]
In May this year the Butterfly Foundation put out a “Mayday” call seeking to raise awareness and support for those suffering with eating disorders in Australia. They estimate there are now 1 million sufferers in Australia with less than 25%of those with an eating disorder in treatment despite the fact that eating disorders have the highest […]
When you’re battling the lies, self rejection and self destructive behaviours that come with an eating disorder you need natural and super-natural (spiritual) help to overcome them. I’m talking about light, truth, power and love…experiencing these things as more than a mental construct. We need help on all levels – biopsychosociospiritual. This one was key […]
When you’re battling the lies, self rejection and self destructive behaviours that come with an eating disorder you need natural and super-natural (spiritual) help to overcome them. I’m talking about light, truth, power and love…experiencing these things as more than a mental construct. We need help on all levels – biopsychosociospiritual. This one was key […]
I was an outpatient at Rivendell for two months before being admitted as an inpatient. The most significant development of this outpatient period was that my bingeing intensified. At the time I had no idea that the “binger” was a part of me. I identified only with my restricting “good girl” (anorectic) self. I was […]
Part 2 in a series describing the escalating conflict and development of ‘voices’ I experienced as my anorexia progressed and my eating disorder “solution” became increasingly untenable. I knew I needed to eat. I hated feeling like a “burden” on my parents but the fear that drove my journey down the scales overwhelmed my rational […]
I recently uploaded “Escalating Conflict” – a chapter from my book describing the period when, after a few years on the restrictive path I clearly recognised my food control ‘solution’ was no longer working. It was now causing the parents I loved great concern. I was so conflicted – wanting to conform (to put on […]
Have you ever wondered about the voices a person with anorexia experiences? Escalating Conflict describes the growing conflict and development of ‘voices’ I experienced as my journey down the scales progressed and my eating disorder “solution” became increasingly untenable. I needed to eat. I hated feeling like a burden on my parents but I was increasingly […]
When I first published Illuminating anorexia in 2011 I didn’t think it would be possible to tell the story of a long and complicated eating disorder without some reference to numbers, but then I met Bec, a beautiful 21 year old girl who was anorectic, self harming and recently suicidal. When she told me she […]
If you struggle with an eating disorder (ED) or disordered eating (DE) experience, the map (model) I developed in the late 90s will help you SEE why you struggle and what you can do about it. The ED ‘solution’ to the problem of pain will never never take you where you want to go. It […]
This podcast explains why I wrote ‘Illuminating Anorexia’ and describes the first time I recognised that my dieting had “gotten out of control.” It was a wake up call, and yet it would be another year before I was diagnosed with anorexia and began to get the help I needed. Early Intervention is such an […]
This is a radio interview I did with Hamish and Emma on The Dip (94.5FM) prior to the relase of the DSMV. It covers some general info about eating disorders, definitions and differences, media influences, body image, the “perfection lie” and recovery. It should be noted the DSMV no longer includes the 85% expected weight for height […]
Originally shot as video and available on YouTube, this is the audio from the final instalment of a 3 part series exploring the precipitating factors that can lead into the development of an eating disorder. I draw on my personal and professional experience. The outcome is clearly unrehearsed and unpolished. My aim is to scratch […]
Originally shot as video and available on YouTube, this is the audio from part 2 of a 3 part series exploring the precipitating factors that can lead into the development of an eating disorder. I draw on my personal and professional experience. The outcome is clearly unrehearsed and unpolished. My aim is to scratch below […]
Originally shot as video and available on YouTube, this is the audio from part 1 of a 3 part series exploring the precipitating factors that can lead into the development of an eating disorder. I draw on my personal and professional experience. The outcome is clearly unrehearsed and unpolished. My aim is to scratch below the […]
KEY 4 The fourth key to get FREE from an eating disorder (ED) is to take action. The preceding three keys have been preparing you to get to this point where the real “work” of recovery begins. There are a number of action steps to unpack here. The first is to develop a meal plan […]
KEY 3 The third key to get FREE from an eating disorder (ED) is to take inventory of where you are at right now. Don’t change a thing. I suggest you use a simple food diary for a week to become aware of the behaviours, thinking, feeling and situations that are currently part of your […]
KEY 2 The second key to get FREE from an eating disorder (ED) is to make a decision to stop spinning your wheels by ceasing to engage in ED behaviours (restricting, purging and overexercising). This may seem impossible right now. I get that. That’s why you first need to adjust your vision and SEE that […]
KEY 1 The first key to get FREE from an eating disorder (ED) is to adjust your vision and SEE that your destination is not to be stuck on the ED treadmill, spinning your wheels, losing health, opportunities, LIFE! Your destination is freedom and joy, to feel good in your skin, at peace in your […]
When I travelled through anorexia, EDNOS and binge-eating as a teen and young adult, I felt like if I could just “get above” the problem maybe I could see a way out of it. As it was, I felt stuck in a maze, spinning my wheels, losing vision, hope, health and my future. Twenty plus […]
You are not your Body. Your body is your home. In an image saturated culture it’s good to be reminded that your worth and value as a person do not depend on your physical size, shape or appearance. When we “get” this truth at a deep (core) level it sets us free to look after […]
Over Easter I joined the chat on a wonderful pro-recovery FB group (Anorexia, Bulimia and EDNOS Recovery Support Group) – and was very stirred by the despair I heard in one young lady, Megan B. I reached out to Megan and the admin onsite but there was no response from MB. This episode is inspired […]
Over Easter I joined the chat on a wonderful pro-recovery FB group (Anorexia, Bulimia and EDNOS Recovery Support Group) – and was very stirred by the despair I heard in one young lady, Megan B. I reached out to Megan and the admin onsite but there was no response from MB. This episode is inspired […]
When you’re in the ED space it’s not easy to tap into your joy and ‘feed’ your soul. To fight the critical, bullying ED voice, you need to nurture your soul and the healthy part of you that says, “Wait a minute, surely I deserve something by now…” and the truth is, YES you do! […]
When you’re in the ED space it’s not easy to tap into your joy and ‘feed’ your soul. To fight the critical, bullying ED voice, you need to nurture your soul and the healthy part of you that says, “Wait a minute, surely I deserve something by now…” and the truth is, YES you do! […]
Whatever kind of day you’ve had, and especially if it’s been a tough day for you, I want to encourage you to tap into your joy. This is such an important key to help you get off the ED treadmill and recover your life. Take a moment to think of something that brings you joy. Something simple. Something accessible […]
My parents and I travelled through anorexia & EDNOS in the ‘dark ages’ (late 70s/early 80s) and it made the journey so very tough. It’s one of the reasons I do what I do in this arena. And while there’s a lot more light on the subject & help available now, I believe the clearer […]
Any BODY at any WEIGHT can have a (classifiable) eating disorder. Many more people struggle ‘under the radar’ with eating, self & body issues that don’t fit the diagnostic criteria. These ‘life consuming’ problems are big and growing (amongst females and males) and the real struggle is mainly hidden. In this and the last episode, […]
Any BODY at any WEIGHT can have a (classifiable) eating disorder. Many more people struggle ‘under the radar’ with eating, self & body issues that don’t fit the diagnostic criteria. These ‘life consuming’ problems are big and growing (amongst females and males) and the real struggle is mainly hidden. In this and the next episode, […]
I want to speak directly to the person struggling with anorexia. When we begin on this (restrictive) path, we usually feel pretty good about things, better about our ‘self,’ more competent and in control. We don’t want help. It’s not until the wheels start to fall off that we become open to the possibility that […]
I believe illumination is the key and first step on the path to recovery because until we can see the nature of the battle in which we are engaged we will not be in a position to consider our alternatives. We will be fighting in the dark. Many of us will become exhausted and despairing. […]