Progressive Recovery: Recent Episodes
Ronald Chapman
Do you feel stuck in your alcoholism or addiction recovery despite good 12 Step work and attending meetings? Does authentic emotional sobriety remain beyond your grasp? Have you lost faith the 12 Steps can solve the challenges that have emerged since you began your recovery?
Progressive Recovery is designed to bring your recovery into an experience that combines thinking with feeling – or connecting head to heart.
Progressive Recovery uses the 12 Steps in new ways to explore and work at a deeper level, on the subconscious and core issues which cause unwanted behaviors and limit progress.
When we met Meg a few years ago through mutual friends in recovery, it was only a matter of time before conversations tumbled into the 11th Step and meditation. As Meg described in a blog from Season 2 of the Recovery Sessions , the practices of yoga and meditation have become a centerpiece of her twelve-step recovery program. The sum total became a powerful and enduring part of her life in recovery.
When Meg offered to provide one of her guided recovery meditations, a weaving together of principles of recovery, yoga and meditation, it was clear it would be very useful to many. Now close your eyes, breathe and let yourself to follow Meg’s gentle guidance.
Amends making seems so straight forward in the beginning. Do what we have to in order to make restitution, or to make things right, or maybe even to change our behavior going forward. This is all valuable work within the context of the 8th and 9th Steps.
It is exactly the path that Amy followed in her own progression through the Twelve Steps.
Yet as her recovery deepened, as she was undergoing the process of being restored through recovery, she found still more to be addressed. Some of these became living amends, those things we do on a continuing basis as we live sober.
Then comes the work of emotional sobriety, yet another layer and level of the practice of the Twelve Steps, where our attention turns to our ways of being and the old ideas and beliefs which drive us. As Amy describes it, this is beyond making amends, rather we are being amended — who we are is being changed, sometimes quite profoundly.
The point of the Twelve Steps and of recovery is not simply improved behavior, but a psychic change that alters us in fundamental ways.
In Amy’s story that follows, she shares her experience with living an amended life. She tells us what it is like for her to be and to live as a different person, one who has been restored at depth, one who lives increasingly an emotionally and spiritually sober life.
Listen very long in the rooms of recovery and it will become quite clear many of us have difficult stories before and during recovery.
There are tales of trauma, some quite horrific, and no small amount of mistakes we have lived through and lived out.
We’ll also hear many, many stories of amends made, and at least a few amends that went awry. Occasionally we’ll hear someone describe their path of inner healing — the amends made with themselves — that then allow them to find the peace and freedom found in the promises of recovery.
A few years ago, our friend Carmel captured some recovery magic in two blogs about radical self-acceptance and still more radical acceptance.
They are so well done, you may want to read them before you listen to her story in the audio that follows. It was these that caused a request from some in the progressive recovery community to hear her story.
Please give Carmel a chance to change your mind about yourself.
It's all quite profound, and good for heart and soul that aches to find our way home to ourselves.
It was in a series of conversations with Al C. in Atlanta that the idea of progressive Steps 2 and 3 emerged. That appeared when Al proposed that the restoration to sanity is never ending. (Click here to read Roger N’s story of his own experience of this practice.)
What if the restoration to sanity is never ending? That would mean that quitting drinking and drugging is merely the first stage of our recovery. It could then lead us to letting go of other blockages including other addictions and behavioral challenges. Presumably we would see the progression in our emotions, psychology, mental health, physical well-being and eventually in our emotional sobriety.
Yet part of what Ron learned through this part of his recovery exploration was that in order for his sanity to progress, his understanding and connection to a Power Greater Than Himself had to also evolve and progress. As he says it, “I can only get my head around the idea of a Higher Power to the degree I can understand it today. But tomorrow, it can be possible to understand and experience more. In fact, it has to be a Higher and Higher Power. At least to the degree I can let go and allow my awareness and the possibilities to grow.”
In the end, Ron asks us to consider the state of our restoration at any moment in time. And then to examine what stands in the way of still more restoration to sanity.
It’s a remarkable program of recovery, with far more potential and possibility than many of us imagine. Listen now to his story.
Maggie’s tale of engaging and overcoming traumas is a powerful combination of sobriety, the twelve steps and therapy. It parallels what Bill W. came to say of personal inventory work, that it would move beyond an accounting of bad behavior and personal flaws to exploring “the damages that occurred to us during life and a sincere effort to look at them in a true perspective.” (Letter, 1957)
As Maggie explains from her own life, trauma is not what we imagined. It can be Big Trauma, or little trauma. Regardless, she helps us see how deeply distressing or disturbing events overwhelm our ability and willingness to cope. And that often these factors are at the core of our alcoholism or addiction.
The best part of her story though is how that difficult inner work became a springboard for an increasingly profound recovery. How it turned her from despair to contentment in long-term sobriety.
In the end, Maggie’s story is what many of were seeking all along: a means to put ghosts from the past back in the past. Then in doing so, to finally heal in most powerful ways.
For more information about trauma and recovery, attached is a chapter from the book Progressive Recovery through the Twelve Steps: Emotionally Sober for Life. In addition, you can find a wealth of resources through the work of Gabor Mate on trauma and addiction.
For a step that is so critical to recovery, and essential to a progressive one, there is surprisingly little in AA’s Big Book from which to draw guidance. Of course, many turn to what they can learn from the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.
Sarah knows this story, because it is her story. Like others, she turned her studies to Drop the Rock, a tool and resource in which so many have found solid ground. As you’ll soon hear, her most recent return to the book was enlightening; in fact, it became clear to her that there was far more ground to be covered, even as she could see how much was already behind her. Like everything else, the letting go in Steps Six and Seven is a progressive proposition - it is the road and journey.
If you’d like more background before listening to Sarah’s experience, consider listening to Nathan in Season 1 talking about the use of these steps to “clear the channel”, or read one of our best finds about surrender from Progressive Content.
Regardless of your choices, we’re sure you’ll love Sarah’s story. Better still, you’ll probably walk away with some great additions to your own recovery. Enjoy!
In his book, The Way of Powerlessness, author and master teacher Wayne Liquorman (yes that is his real name, and yes he is an alcoholic) suggests that if we could really understand the implications of powerlessness, Step One would be all we needed. The realization alone would break us open and allow us to recover. Whether you agree with that idea or not, his book and its provocative walk through the Twelve Steps has proven to be breakthrough material for some of us.
So it was that when Steven found Liquorman’s book in his early recovery, something did break open within him. A foundation was put into place that has served him well.
Steven’s experience with powerlessness forms the core of his lead topic for the Working Group for Progressive Recovery that follows. He tells the story of his continuing walk through powerlessness and the grounding it provides. Steven also puts forth that there is a real mystery to how these things work, as well as the great value of the humility that results.
Listen now to Steven’s firsthand account of his way of powerlessness.
Sometimes the way we find ourselves doing the best possible work with the twelve steps and in our recovery is when our lives are disrupted.
In sharing his experience, strength, and hope during challenging times, perhaps Al is right that it is because circumstances open us up and as a result, we become willing and teachable. At the same time, he admits there’s no way to know, only to wonder what may be.
Like many of us, Al did not learn these perspectives through knowledge, but through experience that gave him both awareness and knowledge. And he certainly did not learn it out of cooperativeness. By his own admission, he is very resistant to change and has to be pushed forward.
One of the more amazing things about Al’s path is how his experience convinced him that the deep work of the steps in recovery becomes essential. He goes so far as to conclude that “resistance is futile.”
Clearly the principles of a progressive and sustained effort transformed him. Strangely enough for a guy well-grounded in Buddhist principles as part of his story, the linchpin comes from the Gnostic Gospels, the Gospel of Thomas. “If you bring forth what is inside you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is inside you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”
It is there that Al’s wisdom shines through. He now sees that emotional sobriety is the inevitable result of the inner work with the twelve steps.
We don’t get ourselves emotionally sober. We fall into it by dealing with the blockages within ourselves.
Listen now to Al’s story so you can benefit from the wisdom he acquired through his own experiences.
Millions of Americans are in recovery from substance abuse addiction, and must navigate pain management in such a way as to not trigger a relapse. This is especially important as the effects of prescribed opioids have triggered an addiction epidemic. Progressive Recovery is pleased to feature this interview with Dr. Gurusahay Khalsa, where he discusses alternative therapies for pain management for anyone who wishes to avoid using opiates in pain management.
Dr. Khalsa has been in private practice since 1978 and is the director of the GRD Healing Arts Clinic, PC, a multi-disciplinary health and healing clinic in Atlanta, GA. His specialties include acupuncture, gentle chiropractic care, nutrition, applied kinesiology, and yoga therapy. Dr. Khalsa educates and inspires people to improve the quality of their living by enabling them to take control of their own life physically, mentally, and spiritually. He has lectured extensively for the last 45 years on health care, nutrition, oriental medicine, Kundalini yoga and meditation, stress management, goal setting, prosperity, and wellness and longevity.
To learn more about Dr. Khalsa, you can visit his website here.
For the latest episode of Progressive Content, Ron Chapman interviews Rabbi Rami Shapiro about his latest book and his unique take on addiction recovery. Shapiro believes there is much more to the 12 Step Practice than we often work through; in fact, he believes it's meant to be a spiritual practice for everyone.
To learn more about Rami Shapiro and his work, you can visit his website here.
Recovery from substance abuse addiction does not, and cannot, happen alone. It is a complex process that requires a strong support community to guide you along a path of deep introspection and emotional work. For this episode of Progressive Content, we're featuring a coaching session between two women, both in recovery. One is a coach, and one is being coached, using the Strengths Finder framework.
We often get asked what Progressive Recovery is. The following audio from a workshop in Greenville, SC helps shed light on what we're doing.
What does is mean to live authentically? And how does this affect our recovery from substance abuse? We invited Ethan, a transgender man, to join us for this episode of Progressive Content to discuss how getting sober led to another significant revelation about being true to oneself.
Is it possible to find humor in addiction recovery? Liz and Ron aim to find out if a good laugh is what it takes to shine some light into a dark subject. Join us for this bonus Progressive Content.
As a professional, Laura Sharon is well known for her work in developing people. She’s also a much sought after expert in developing organizations through a number of approaches and tools. This professional ability is an outer demonstration of her own development, a process of progressive recovery that spans decades.
Laura Sharon speaks with us as a Featured Guest on this special episode of Progressive Recovery. Listen as she explores and shares her story of being willing to grow along spiritual lines, and how it saved her life.
Learn more about the Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom by clicking here
Our conversation about addiction, and what a progressive recovery entails, continues with Mary O'Malley, a special guest who chats with us about how we can perceive compulsion in a new and unexpected way. If you've ever struggled with willpower and the surrounding feelings of worthlessness, then this piece is for you.
Mary O'Malley is an author, teacher, and counselor whose work awakens others to the joy of being fully alive. Her inspired and transformative approach to compulsions offers a way to replace fear, hopelessness, and struggle with ease, well-being, and joy. She is the author of "The Gift of Our Compulsions: A Revolutionary Approach to Self-Acceptance and Healing", and "What's in the Way is the Way: A Practical Guide for Waking Up to Life". You can find her content and books at maryomalley.com.
Recovery from substance-abuse addiction is not a linear path; it is a winding road that often leads us further down than we want to go. And when we get to those places, climbing back out can feel overwhelming, hopeless, or impossible. Donovan's story is about how his path lead him to a new, and radical option: ayahuasca. Listen to Donovan's story below.
In recovery much is said about the concept of “one day at a time” as a way to tackle what feels like the insurmountable task of staying sober long-term. But perhaps further guidance in this matter can come from another practice - Buddhism. In this episode of Progressive Content, The Author of “One Breath at a Time” Kevin Griffin sits down with Ron to chat about Buddhism, his book, and his perspective on the 12 Steps.
Lindy and Karen, whom are considered veterans of addiction recovery, discuss what it's like to go from brokenness to blossoming. If you've ever wondered what potential can be reached through working the 12 Steps, then this message of hope is for you. Please join us for the final episode of the first season of The Recovery Sessions.
Rees speaks with us about how after getting sober, deepening the practice of recovery work leads not only to sustained sobriety, but to improved overall spiritual and mental well-being.
Anita speaks with us about the challenges of learning and growing through addiction recovery; specifically, letting go of being a perfectionist, and accepting the reality of being flawed.
Making amends isn't just about atonement for the wrongs committed against your loved ones; it's about redefining the nature of your relationship based on recovery. In this episode, Ron not only tells his own story, he also details how living the amended life transformed his relationship with his daughters.
Nathan discusses what it means to clear the channel of character defects, to be open to living an amended life, through progressive recovery.
Julia shares with us the painful truths that she had to confront about herself and her relationships before recovery from addiction could begin.
Jacob speaks with us about how struggle - and surrender - are both crucial not only to progressive recovery, but to finding the hope necessary to stay sober.
It’s not uncommon to hear someone in recovery planning to take some dark secret to the grave, just as it’s not uncommon to believe there are some wrongs that can never be made right. Yet a long-term or progressive recovery demands that we make peace with the most painful and difficult parts of our story.
A grievance unresolved and held too long becomes a potential relapse.
That brings up the subject of forgiveness — for others, and perhaps more importantly — for ourselves.
How we forgive is not clear to most of us. Letting go is not a simple matter. That’s why Tammy’s story is so powerful. What if you had committed a terrible deed? One that was not able to be amended? Yet one that somehow must be made right?
It is there that enduring emotional sobriety can be created. It is there that magic is to be found for Tammy. It is there that she has a gift of experience to share for all of us.
In this audio session with DC, you’ll hear some ideas that are foundational to many in twelve-step recovery such as the importance of making connections, working with others in their recovery, and more. Yet emotional recovery is more than a state of being free from alcohol or drugs.
DC tells us a great deal about his role in the larger world. He urges us to remember that life is lived in relationships, families, and communities - not merely in the rooms of recovery - no matter how useful they may be. He returns to ideas Bill W promoted about becoming a citizen again, that our emotionally sober lives include making contributions beyond the rooms and communities of recovery. As DC notes, if you want to know how stable and sober someone is, you should ask their loved ones, their friends and neighbors, and their co-workers. The test is in a life well-lived.
DC also touches on a subject that is important for many: he now lives with chronic pain because of degenerative disease, and he must use prescription pain medication. This is such a larger story in the world, learning how to use medicine appropriately, while also maintaining good emotional, psychological and spiritual health. After all, in the end the reason to be sober involves a world larger than ourselves.
For all of us, the idea that we can be well-balanced in our lives no matter what is a testament to the idea of emotional sobriety.
What if emotional sobriety were in fact a matter of embodiment? To fully inhabit and experience emotions including those that are devastating, or sweep us away into them?
At seventeen years clean and sober Michelle hit a challenging relationship bottom. It forced her into difficult, unfinished business inside herself with her identity and her life.
As part of that experience, Michelle found yoga, and with it the practice of mantra and kirtan, which as a long-time singer, agreed with her very much. What she could not have known is that it would open her closed mind, and force her to delve ever more deeply into her recovery and spirituality. There she would find herself within her emotions.
Today she describes it as her passion. It is a surprise to find such a renewal at more than twenty years in recovery. Yet the experience has enlivened and enlarged her.
Michelle is living a dream she never knew she had amid emotions that were never tapped. It’s a beautiful and humbling matter.
Learn more about Michelle’s mantra and kirtan practices at https://www.facebook.com/michelle.peck.90475
Through recovery Eric found Buddhism, and within that practice and a Heart of Recovery community, he found a way forward using the twelve steps that were well suited to him. Along the way, he discovered that while being sober is wonderful, it is not enough.
Sobriety left him to face emotions long suppressed or unknown to him. In a particularly difficult time battling for parental rights for his daughter, he came face-to-face with the upheaval of his feelings. They were not manageable. They were not rational. Eric could not will himself to not experience them.
It was there he realized that for him emotional sobriety was not some gilded path without disruption. It was not to bypass his complex emotions but to fully allow and embody them.
Eric asks us to consider whether the goal of sobriety and emotional sobriety might not be to accept and allow our humanity. To be present to be fully human.
After listening to Eric’s interview, you can learn more about his practice with Basic Sobriety at https://www.basicsobriety.com/
The common narrative that addiction is caused by moral failure, lack of self-control, or that it is somehow a choice has damaging consequence for those who need help. But what if we knew addiction was in fact rooted in childhood trauma? And what if knowing this influenced how families and society helped loved ones struggling with addiction? Watch Ron Chapman speak at the American Holistic Nurses Association about what it means to "bear witness," and how this affects the way we approach a progressive recovery.
We open the series by speaking with Phil, who recounts his struggle with powerlessness over his addiction. But ultimately it's that powerlessness that is the cornerstone of his recovery.
The first step to the process is acknowledging that there is a problem and drawing a line in the sand.
What if the real result of recovery, and the use of the twelve steps, is to bring ourselves home to ourselves? That’s no different than the purpose of any number of spiritual paths. While alcohol and drugs are a specific feature of recovery, perhaps the need for awakening is a common story. In this audio, Chandra suggests it’s a non-stop journey to come home to ourselves. And along the way, we first have to find ourselves.
Who are we? What drives us? What matters most? Where will we find fulfillment? And what is it within us that allows us to do so? Recovery at depth seems like a lot of work, but those like Chandra who walk the path reassure us it is worth the effort. To be emotionally sober is to be fully centered, right here, right now. No matter what.