READY SLOW: Recent Episodes
READY SLOW
Shane + Shean of Ready Slow were complete strangers. That is until Shean posted a controversial Instagram post that compelled Shane to reach out. Now they might just be brand new friends.Shane is a 35 year old professor and published author from New York. Shean is a 31 year old floral and event designer from Georgia. Listen in as these guys who just met—meet each other for the first time and talk about their differences and most importantly — their similarities. Their "unpopular opinions" segment will make you shake your head or thank them for saying it out loud.
It’s episode 89 and Shean and Shane are competing over who has the better medical emergency. Shane’s about to get escorted out of the hospital for demanding to keep his wife’s appendix, while Shean’s gotten into a car wreck with a crackhead.
The guys discuss the Trump v DeSantis catfight, the wet dreams of violent communists, godless nihilist narcissists, animals in heaven, and white people with black voices.
Shane shares some advice he got from a new friend, and Shean talks about what made him ugly cry.
Jesus Christ makes a special guest appearance.
It’s episode 87 and the boys are back in town. Shean confesses to blackmailing Air BnB hosts and Shane wants to overthrow the monarchy.
The guys discuss black tik tok, yaaasss dead queens, the science of blunts, Jesus in Hell, the ideal gynecologist, and the theory about Walt Disney’s corpse.
Shean relives a childhood memory about a traumatic hurricane, meanwhile Shane is encountering racist diapers at the store.
Princess Di makes a very special guest appearance.
It’s episode 86 and Shean is enduring a three-day marathon at the dentist, meanwhile Shane’s getting slandered by a journalistic standards community.
The guys discuss the 87,000 new hires at the IRS, the raid at Mar-a-Lago, and how “they’re” dropping that brand new chem trail recipe from the sky making everyone sick in August.
They also get into the circus that was the Alex Jones “defamation” trial.
And did you know Shean was almost on The Voice? Meanwhile, Shane’s had to talk to his son about why some people are missing limbs.
AI Kamala makes a very special guest appearance.
It’s episode 85 and the guys are becoming Mennonites.
But before t hey convert, Shane tries to advise Shean about how to act normal when meeting a new friend in real life for the first time. Shean doesn’t know if he should bring a firearm or an earpiece for Shane to covertly share conversational treasures.
Shean reveals his theory about NASA and swimming pools, meanwhile Shane is already starting problems in his new town by not being pro-dog-orgies in the middle of the street.
The guys revisit Flat Earth, human history, glass domes, and the ways in which interpretations of God mutate throughout time.
The cancer cell and the COVID-19 virus that infected President Joe Biden in the same week make a very special guest appearance.
Shane and Shean announce their candidacy for President and Vice President of the United States of America. They vow to abolish all alphabet agencies. They also promise to leave NATO. And the UN. And they will reject WHO, WEF, and ESGs. CERN will also be destroyed,
A lot has happened since the guys last caught up. Roe was overturned. CERN switched timelines again. Boris Johnson stepped down. Shinzo Abe was assassinated. And the Georgia Guidestones were destroyed.
They also discuss secret forests under China, fake NASA photos, fake clouds, airplane tragedies, Jordan Peterson in HD, Aztec invasions, and more.
Nancy Pelosi’s breasts make a special guest appearance.
It’s episode 83 and the guys try to solve a mystery of possible lust and deceit in the land of God.
Shane’s reading C.S. Lewis while Shean’s Dr. Pepper addiction has brought on a home renovation binge.
The guys also discuss bio-engineered salmon, pastors at Mexican restaurants, free will, morality, menstrual cups, and the one major issue that might be leading towards the inevitability of another Civil War.
Jesus H. Christ makes a very special guest appearance.
It’s episode 82 and bees are now fish in the state of California, meanwhile kid friendly drag shows are coming to a town near you.
The guys discuss the documentary “What Is a Woman?”, the consequences of a broken home, utopia fetishists, wild salmon, and raw meat.
Shean admits to lying to Shane, and Shane is stunned by the recent threat made against his coworkers.
The Queen of England and her rotting reptile face make a very special guest appearance.It’s episode 82 and bees are now fish in the state of California, meanwhile kid friendly drag shows are coming to a town near you.
The guys discuss the documentary “What Is a Woman?”, the consequences of a broken home, utopia fetishists, wild salmon, and raw meat.
Shean admits to lying to Shane, and Shane is stunned by the recent threat made against his coworkers.
Baphomet and the Queen of England’s rotting reptile face make very special guest appearances.
It’s Episode 81 and everyone is trying to sleep with Shean. He can’t leave the house without total strangers trying to bring him home.
Meanwhile, Shane’s getting kicked out of his local library.
The guys discuss Pride Month and the time Jack Lira hanged himself off Harvey Milk’s porch.
They also get into yawn loops, parental failures, Macaroni Grills, not going to Mexico, the CIA’s ability to assault reality, and the symbolism of pineapples.
Baby Jesus and the ghost of JFK make very special guest appearances.
It’s the season 4 premiere and the guys try to make sense of mass shootings, hopelessness, and the collapse of civilization.
Meanwhile, Shane looks at the failures of Sri Lanka as a warning of any big government push, and Shean talks emotionalism—and how they’re facing literal actual death threats from a literal actual instagram poet.
Also—adrenochrome, tribalism, unbridled ego, massive self-doubt, and acquaintances in the process of transitioning.
A very special guest appearance from Chairman Mao and the ghost of Machine Gun Kelly’s rap days.
Episode 80 will cause serious physical harm. Mark Zuckerberg has preemptively banned it from Facebook. The Twitter bots have been programmed to suppress it. Instagram thots are petitioning for its immediate destruction.
The guys discuss the need to dissolve every alphabet agency, the ethics of twerking on corpses in the club, and offer tips on how to distinguish a clone from the real thing.
Shean discusses his bazooka bubble gum hate crime incident in a Dick’s Sporting Goods, and Shane shares his black pilled podcast theory.
They also get into the concept of breakaway civilizations, Katy Perry’s pop status, creative plateaus, and the horror in Buffalo.
A very special guest appearance from Margaret Sanger’s frigid vagina.
Episode 79 is a call to arms. Shean and Shane are begging you to fight like Hell.
Safe, legal, and rare vs bloodthirsty abortion mimosas. Absconding to Mexico. Drug mules. Decapitated tourists. Young mothers.
The guys respond to comments they’ve received over their ideas on murder. Shane remembers a friend boasting about forcing his girlfriend to commit murder like a pez dispenser. They also argue the empty talking point that tries to equate freedom of speech with murder.
They discuss the importance of shared definitions for a healthy culture and cul-de-sac moms making it rain on their 10-year-old drag queens.
Plus, materialism and how America is a debtor’s prison. Hitler’s wet dream and Lincoln’s favorite racist joke. Also, NASA, Oz, and coincidence.
Shean recounts the trauma of a childhood model, and Shane is starting to fear his cycling community.
Special guest appearances from Lindsey Graham’s lady bugs, Lori Lightfoot, the tooth fairy, and the antichrist.
Episode 78 is all about Shean’s live-streamed corpse, Shane stripping naked for ID.me at gunpoint, fake cities, the peloton cult, the soho house cult, Kim K’s vanishing derrière, Depp v. Heard, Roe v. Wade, the Met Gala, disgruntled mailmen, bookstore dildos, and trying to find common ground in an increasingly divisive socio-political landscape.
Shean and Shane row and cycle respectively throughout the entire episode for a rare ASMR spectacular.
There are very special guest appearances by a dying robot and a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper.
It’s Episode 77 and the guys are finally unveiling their long awaited line of merch. One-piece swimsuits, flip flops, mugs, bucket hats—they’ve got something for everyone who wants to wear Shean and Shane’s faces around town. If you support BLM and if you denounce the holocaust—this merch is for you.
The guys discuss Elon’s twitter, Mike Tyson’s tigers, stranger danger at a baseball game, Nashville, Catholics, Baptists, and Jews.
Shean talks about once auditioning for Glee, and Shane tries to out bougie Shean once and for all.
Today’s very special guests include a long list of mythical creatures: giants, dinosaurs, unicorns, JFK, and Shaun King.
Episode 76 is a hostage situation as the guys incriminate themselves by discussing how and why they’d get away with murder.
Shane talks about stumbling into a funeral, meanwhile Shean is positive there are infinite natural resources.
They discuss huffing ether, tragic aquariums, and animatronic pedophiles. The guys also react to a listener who demands an apology.
Pinocchio makes a special appearance after returning from Epstein’s island.
It’s episode 75 and Shean was attacked in the woods—he nurses the wounds as the guy’s discuss white girl slaves, denim, toast with butter and cinnamon, pizza gate,and grunches.
They also get into starting fights on instagram with strangers for fun, plus they go window shopping online and deconstruct men’s fashion.
Shean mulls over the idea of buying a coffee shop and Shane tells the story of Jim Limber.
Ketanji Brown Jackson makes a very special appearance.
It’s episode 74 and Shean and Shane fight over creative differences. Shane also got Shean banned from Facebook for 90 days, and Shean’s enrolling people into a ponzi scheme as gas prices rise.
The guys discuss time traveling back to the 1990s, Kris Jenner’s chokehold on media narratives, Kanye’s teeth, Shean’s mission to Australia, Nazis in Ukraine, and Shane starting fights in a movie theater.
Batman, Ball gags, Detransition tik tok, and Kyrie Irving makes special appearances.
The guys have reunited. Shean was in Heaven on Earth while Shane was in Hell on Earth. Shean is haunted by lizards from Punta Cana, and Shane nearly died moving his family out of their house.
The guys discuss the latest trends in hysteria, war propaganda, Ukraine and Russia, twins dating twins, Superb Owls, Uhaul, and heart attacks.
They also breakdown whether or not Kanye summoned demons in Miami. Is he a creative genius or a tool of the illuminati?
The guys share some fan mail and new prophecies.
Joy Behar, Marilyn Manson, Vladimir Putin, and "Uncajems" make special appearances.
Episode 72 is not another teen movie meets wolf of wall street meets little shop of horrors meets mean girls.
The guys compare notes about their high school lives. One of the guys committed white collar crime, the other committed blue collar crime. Can you guess who did backflips into pep rallies and who almost got expelled because of pep rallies?
It’s Black Future Month, Canada might save the world from tyranny, Michael Phelps is a supposed hypocrite, the dying supermarket dream, the definition of idealism, fear of rejection, and words of affirmation.
Plus, the guys talk about how they’re grown ass men spending a whole Sunday pranking another grown man.
Shane also considers a very serious question concerning a snail and $20,000,000.
Trudeau, once again, makes a very special appearance in blackface from an undisclosed location.
Remember the old woman with a forked tongue that wished death on half the country — that Shane said would never listen to Ready Slow? Yeah… she and her friends and family listened to last week’s episode. And she’s not happy. In related news, Shane & Nancy lost their house in West VA due to a series of unfortunate events.
Shean and Lacie go to a kid’s birthday party and walk away with a renewed sense of freedom. He’s also auditioning friends for real life on Bumble BFF—and it could be going better.
The guys also discuss how mothers are the strongest voices on the COVID front lines, how The Weeknd is a genius, how choirs rip open the fabric of space-time, dinosaurs, mezcal, mountains, Taco Bell, and Indiana.
Shean shares his theory on life, and Shane expands on his genocide theory.
President Obama makes an extra special appearance from Flint, MI.
Ready Slow welcomes all their new listeners in West Virginia who listened to last week’s episode.
Episode 70 finds both guys snowed-in and dreaming of a white Martin Luther King Day. Shean is setting guidelines for hiring employees and Shane is fighting an uphill real estate battle against liars, con artists, and thieves.
The guys discuss historical cubism, death mocking, and the white woman with a humanities degree that curated the African section of the ATL airport.
They also get into whether or not Shane is the one who’s truly unhinged for calling out his old employer on instagram. Plus, Shane welcomes Shean into the Church of Kanye after listening to the new song, “Eazy.”
The corpse of Vladimir Lenin makes a special appearance.
Shean has omicron and Shane discusses the nature of modern genocide.
With special appearances from a hysterical, unhinged, moral authoritarian.
Instagram says Shean and Shane are inciting violence. There’s a strange man in Shane’s yard. Shean’s discussing philosophy with his uber driver. Trump’s been boostered. Rittenhouse’s media blitz proves we’re in The Hunger Games. And Kamala’s mask slips on Charlamagne’s show.
Wars and rumors of war. Friends gaslighting friends. Rape and love letters. Enrique and his mole.
The guys also discuss: how to know whether or not you’re in a cult; how many times President Biden coughed during his Omicron speech; and little white girls telling black men to mask up.
Plus, Shean gifts Shane a free therapy session for Christmas — live, on air, during Ready Slow.
For the holidays, Shean’s life is spiraling out of control, and Shane lands himself in urgent care.
NY has a new mask mandate, so Shane’s getting kicked out of the supermarket, and Italy is preventing Shean from having the vacation he’s worked so hard to plan — thanks to more draconian COVID policies.
The guys discuss being crisis men and death men—plus, Jussie Smollett, CNN’s predatory producers, The Atlantic’s lack of integrity, childhood abandonment issues, and (for our day 1 listeners) how Shane’s finally become Howard.
Sia, Ghislaine Maxwell, Madonna, Nancy Reagan, and the Turpin family make appearances.
Episode 66 finds Shean getting accosted by a psychopath in a Whole Foods bathroom while Shane has a full blown panic attack on the highway.
The guys discuss Alec Baldwin’s crocodile tears, toothbrush protocols, glamping, and the sustained madness of the modern world.
Shean is also convinced that Shane has been replaced by a clone after they almost have a falling out over the show Friends.
Jesus in a pyramid also makes an appearance.
Episode 65 is a Ready Slow Thanksgiving Special. The guys discuss Britney and Rittenhouse going free, celebrity clones, and the glitch in the matrix that happened on live TV.
Shean unravels the Church of Kardashian, while Shane is visited by his past self during the recording of this episode.
The Golden Girls and the hickey on Pete Davidson’s neck also make an appearance.
Astroworld, nanotechnology, the desperation of corporate media, and the Garden of Earthly Delights.
Shean is about to be homeless in Europe, and Shane is a new man with his COVID antibodies.
The guys also discuss the Rittenhouse trial and Joe Biden dropping the N bomb—again.
Snoop Dogg, Tupac, Biggie Smalls, Kanye, Ted Bundy, and Kamala Harris also make appearances.
Shane gets COVID & Shean gets worms. Before the guys die, they denounce everything bad that they’ve ever said.
Episode 62 is the existential crisis this podcast has been hurtling towards since day one.
Is Joe Biden even real? Why does he keep using a fake oval office? Why did Kamala hire child actors to pretend to be children with dreams of NASA? What is wrong with the supply chain? Who is sabotaging Shane? What are the things that upset Shean the most? What is the purpose of this life? Who makes the best french fries?
The guys also answer questions from listeners. Topics include gentrification, Chick Fil A, gate night, dead birds, stolen pumpkins, family values, and Halloween costumes. Hint: one of the guys was once an award winning scarecrow and the other was an antique clown that creeped out all his friends… Can you guess which one?
Listeners can send, opinions, donations and xanax to: readyslowpodcast@gmail.com
Episode 61 finds the guys in Atlanta at the same time…
Shane faces the culture shock of ordering ice coffee in Georgia and, after months of work, Shean is about ready to launch his studio.
Topics include girls with hoop earrings, Robert Pattinson’s Batman, island weddings, turbulence, and how Shean inadvertently pranked Shane on instagram. They also get into the various interpretations of the Bible.
Shane recounts a recent family trip to the Bronx Zoo that ended badly, and Shean has a fight with his therapist.
Civil war, Colin Powell, and Donald J. Trump also make appearances.
Season 3 comes to a close as Shean encounters racist brides and almost accidentally kidnaps a woman. Meanwhile, Shane describes our post-language society and he realizes the BLM movement has changed the way he operates in parking lots.
The guys also discuss one of the worst kept secrets in the DC Comics universe: Superman is gay.
Also—Fauci and Chappelle on Rotten Tomatoes, helicopter crashes, Jehri curls, fear of air, and the ominous warning from a nurse on the frontlines.
Plus, Adele, Michael Jackson, Prince, The Weeknd, gluten allergies, Pat Kelly, Bruce Meo, Podcast Cathy, and Brandon of “let’s go” fame all make appearances.
Episode 59 is rock slides, weddings, sleeplessness, whippings at the southern border, escalator behavior, and America’s greatest institution: The View.
Shean barely survives Utah and Shane shares some behind the scenes from his guest spot on Timcast IRL.
The guys also dissect why so many people view success within mainstream institutions more favorably than success you built from the ground up.
Plus — just how racist is mother nature?
In Episode 58 Shane meets Alex Jones and Shean absconds to Florida. The guys return from the road to discuss black face, Marilyn Monroe, Ella Fitzgerald, and the tent cities along the Rio Grande.
Shean’s talks about death in his community, and the guys talk at length about the idea of suicide in relation to religion — and the stigmas attached to just the mention of it.
Plus, they go over the movies they can confidently say they’ve each watched at least 10 times. And as it turns out Shane‘s favorite movie triggers Shean.
Episode 57 is about 9/11 on social media, virus manners, and organized religion.
Biden drones an innocent family, Gavin Newsom isn’t recalled, and all of a sudden everyone loves George W. Bush.
Shean and Shane also discuss the Met Gala, the genius of Kim Kardashian, and Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend’s left testicle.
Plus — the guys pay their respects to Norm MacDonald.
Episode 56 is overdosing on horse drugs, death threats from late night clowns, overrun hospitals, nurse shortages, the Taliban’s stance on Black Live Matter, and the ever tightening grip of mass psychosis.
Shean and Shane also quiz each other on the nature of their thoughts. What do your thoughts look like in your mind’s eye? Do you see an image? Do you see a vague outline of a memory? Do you see anything?
The guys also discuss what Biden might announce before he unveils his new 6-point plan to fight COVID, the best coffee on Earth, and what they would you do with $1,000,000.
Karl Malone, Muggsy Bogues, and Dennis Rodman also make appearances.
Episode 55 is dedicated to Shane’s grandma, Beverly. The guys are back after taking a week off so Shane and his family could travel to Florida for her funeral. Ready Slow listeners know how integral Beverly has been to many stories told on the podcast.
Shane and Shean discuss open caskets, fake Rabbis, pre-planned funerals, cemetery drama, Florida nostalgia, Eternal Reoccurrence, and bitch ass lawyers in punk rock costumes.
Shane would also like to extend his gratitude to everyone who reached out with prayers, condolences, thoughts, and memes to cheer him up.
Requiesce In Pace Beverly
Shane gives a brief history of the war in Afghanistan and Shean gets dragged out of a city council meeting. The guys discuss vaccine passports, Tik Tok Rush Week, therapists for terrorists, and the Google overlords. Rev. Al Sharpton, General Mark Milley, Bushes, and Weapons of Mass Destruction also make appearances.
Shean attempts to bring joy to episode 53, but Shane is trapped in a dark place. His grandma’s condition has worsened and it’s made him retreat into the gallows humor his hearse-driving grandfather always used to deflect seriousness. Which means that Shean is being held hostage in the dark place too.
The guys get into embarrassment, black establishments, acid reflux, CP time, and evil scientists in Pittsburg.
They also review the CDC’s official plans to “physically remove” people and put them into “camps.”
Shane discusses his favorite movie, and Shean recounts how he was scarred by a block of ham.
Episode 52 is a somber one-year anniversary of the Ready Slow Podcast. Shean sobs on his career, and Shane shares some sad news. The guys discuss ambition, depression, self-mutilation, scarcity, and the circumcision of Jesus Christ.
Two of New York’s absolute best, Mayor Bill DeBlasio and Governor Andrew Cuomo make appearances to help celebrate the one year landmark of Shean and Shane airing out weekly grievances.
Episode 51 is all about time travel, immortal cells, and the Olympics.
The guys reflect on all the ways in which they were supposed to grow up to become star athletes. Shane tells the story of his first “performance,” and Shean remembers that time he felt like Michael Jordan.
They do a deep dive into the story of Henrietta Lacks—one of the cruelest and most bizarre medical cases in modern American history.
The guys also discuss the implications of atom smashers, Governor Cuomo’s nipple rings, and second class citizenry.
During the recording of this episode, Lacie gets trapped in an airport, Thick starts heaving uncontrollably, and baby Poppy wakes up screaming and decides to join the guys for an impromptu discussion about the Butterfly Effect.
Margaritas, cheek bones, porn stars, and evangelicals.
Zuckerberg, censorship, Chernobyl, and ancient Earth.
The guys discuss the continued fracturing of polite society, countries in chaos, revolution, and super continents.
They also introduce a new segment: Third Wheel Unpopular Opinions, where listeners send in their thoughts and the guys offer feedback.
Episode 50 is a marathon.
Also—Shean talks about the benefits of a social media detox and Shane makes a public apology.
Shean’s locked out of his house, and Shane’s just returned from West Virginia as they debate what they’d do if they were given a heart transplant from an evil person.
The guys discuss the limits of redemption, the highest form of contemporary art, and an answer to the vaccine passports.
There’s also a healthy dose of narcissism, fireworks, locksmith-criticism, and “black magic.”
Plus, the naked rainbow monkey drops in for story time.
Episode 48 is a tribute to Hot Boy Summer. Biden’s going door-to-door, grilling is now evil, and the guys review the new vaccine anthem, “Vax That Thang Up.”
High school, sex-ed, Bill Cosby, fake birds, spy cats, and the Earth’s brand new ocean are all up for debate. Plus, Shean makes a plan for Ready Slow to take part in Pitti Uomo, and Shane tells a ghost story.
Episode 47 is Free Britney, Hollywood slavery, and generic clones. Shean designs a Tron wedding while Shane tries to train a puppy and two children.
The guys also discuss the new degenerates managing the Make-A-Wish Foundation, the Chauvin sentencing, and the need for breaking immoral laws.
Plus—Shean and Shane offer their nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize.
The guys get together for Episode 46 to celebrate Ready Slow’s 10,000th download—and they take stock on all the trouble they’ve gotten into since the start of the show.
They discuss wedding-demon season in NY, manic shopping, Juneteenth, grade school crushes, and the point in which inclusion becomes exclusion.
Shane shares some big news, and Shean has a miscommunication at a wedding.
The guys also make plans to conquer the Svalbard Global Seed Vault in Norway.
Episode 45 is Trading Places—it’s Freaky Friday—it’s… The Merge. Shean has very little time left until he has completely transitioned into becoming Shane—and vice versa. Shane’s reluctant to undo the merge, but Shean is ready for the hex to end. They’re one podcast away from trading race cards and yarmulkes.
In the meantime, Shean’s juggling an intense wedding season + renovations of his studio, while Shane mourns the loss of trust in his favorite news app.
The guys discuss the invasion of Functioning Zombies, and the terrible resurgence of a new form of segregation. They also get into the weeds of everyone’s favorite small talk: Critical Race Theory, eugenics, and abortion.
ADHD, Georgia shrimp, and Hunter Biden throwing around N bombs like it’s a Klan parade also make appearances.
Shean runs for his life while Shane takes a road trip with the family.
The guys discuss Mexican cartels, power grids, waterbeds, and useful idiots.
They wonder whether or not the ghost of Woodrow Wilson is haunting the White House, or if the United States is going to have nuclear war with China.
Shane talks about beating NY State and his colleges in his recent court cases, and Shean gives insights into self-worth.
Floyd Mayweather, Logan Paul, and AOC’s abuela make appearances.
The guys are also approaching their one-year anniversary with 10,000 downloads on the horizon.
Episode 43 finds Shean in custody while Shane appears before a judge. The guys make their way through the authorities in order to discuss Operation Paperclip, geriatric millennials, and narcissistic victimhood.
Bruno Mars, Ron DeSantis, and Wernher Von Braun make appearances.
Plus, Shane tells the story of how his grandma’s hair went to war.
Episode 43 finds Shean in custody while Shane appears before a judge. The guys make their way through the authorities in order to discuss Operation Paperclip, geriatric millennials, and narcissistic victimhood.
Bruno Mars, Ron DeSantis, and Wernher Von Braun make appearances.
Plus, Shane tells the story of how his grandma’s hair went to war.
Episode 42 is part-time Hell, stress freaks, taxidermy, box-cutters, and blowtorches.
Shane goes to the doctor and gets some bad news, while Shean makes headway on corporate reparations.
The guys examine news articles and talk about the ways they determine how and what to trust in today’s journalism. They also attempt to make sense of the events that took place leading up to the current conflict in the Middle East.
Plus, Shane weighs his skepticism with the idea of miracles, and Shean lays out his vision of the universe.
Ready Slow’s third season starts with a major breakthrough in Shean’s existential crisis with time—meanwhile Shane’s been getting drunk on margaritas with his Aunt Gloria… (he might be back in her will now).
The guys discuss anti-semitism, ethnic cleansing, the current horrors between Israel and Palestine, and whether or not we’re in the middle of a secret World War.
Deep sea creatures, $70,000 dresses, Dr. Fauci, Spice Girls, and Stephen Hawking make appearances.
This is the season 2 finale—featuring American decadence, vaccine gods, virus babies, and kinky hypocrisies.
The guys celebrate by getting fat, sassy, and lazy. Shean overnights cake from across the country—Shane gets decked out in doge and Ralph Lauren.
Meanwhile—institutions are crumbling, America is fractured, Cuomo’s dipping his garlic knot in places it doesn’t belong, and Steve Harvey’s suits are hiding something.
Mass psychosis, the magic of fish eye lenses, and the death of logic all make appearances.
It’s Episode 39 and the guys carve out some time to address their critics.
It’s only been a week since they last spoke and Shean’s been to court, got wrapped up in some extortion, and did a wedding. Meanwhile, Shane’s almost burnt his house down, the cats are missing, and he might’ve been taken off his Great Aunt’s will.
Joy Behar, Michael Jackson, Chumbawamba, and NFTs all make a guest appearance.
Episode 38 is knife fights, acid attacks, golden calves, and ineffective eggplant politicians. The guys discuss the limits of perfectionism and how it can either suppress or advance your art. They also theorize the possibility of modern-day human sacrifice still happening on a massive scale.
Shean gets called the unthinkable and Shane’s house has been invaded. Limp Bizkit, Lebron James, Caitlyn Jenner, and Shane’s grandma make appearances. Plus, Shean’s pessimism meets Shane’s optimism.
Shean and Shane record a special weeknight episode after the Derek Chauvin verdict is announced. The guys discuss vengeance, justice, and the court of public opinion.
Benedict Arnold, Kenny G, AOC, and Stephen King make appearances.
It’s episode 36 and Genghis Khan saves the planet. President Biden dog whistles to gay nazis. Maxine Waters demands insurrection. Perception and perspective are on display in the Chauvin trial closing arguments.
The guys also compare their favorite serial killers. They weigh atom bombs, viruses, mass hysteria, media manipulation, and generational scars.
Shean laments bad straw etiquette and Shane pays tribute to DMX.
The guys bring you a quick episode from two different time zones. Shean’s in Texas making flowers, Shane’s in New York cleaning up mouse hearts.
Since Shean’s head has been in the bouquets for the past week, Shane fills him in on all the really good news that’s taken place since they last spoke. Riots, volcanoes, and executive orders. They also examine the last two weeks of the Chauvin murder trial. And if you’re wondering what makes Shane feel like Princess Diana, this episode is for you.
Episode 34 is the Easter Special: fates worse than death, bloody crosses, guillotine envy, toxic pop, and Jewish suffering. The guys trade Baptism vs Bar Mitzvah stories in an attempt to see who is and who isn’t going straight to Hell.
Langston Hughes, Shakira, Katy Perry, Bad Bahbie, and Louis Farrakhan make appearances.
Plus—after a week of suspense, Shane and Shean discuss, in detail, the tragic events that happened to Shean’s family—that coincidentally took place right near where Shane grew up.
In episode 33, Shane catches Shean up on all the ways in which the world is falling apart. Shean’s been busy designing a wedding—meanwhile Shane has fully descended into News Hell. Satan shoes, white devils, reparations, mass shootings, immortal holograms, and vaccine passports. The guys consider the ethics of shopping carts and whether or not Bill Clinton is the best guy to talk about women being treated unfairly. Shane also walks Shean through Day 1 of the George Floyd Murder Trial.
The episode ends with a shocking, simulation-shattering revelation.
Shean turns 32 for the 32nd episode. The guys discuss existential birthdays, the border crisis, violence in Atlanta, glitches in the matrix, and whether or not humans have free will. Fauci, Rothko, Kanye, and Ms. Frizzle make appearances. Shane reads a poem he wrote earlier in the morning.
Episode 31: Shane is going to war with New York State and the college system—while Shean is breaking up fights in Atlanta. The guys get into nostalgia addicts, Biden clones, Trump faxes, celebrity worship, body dysmorphia, and how Prince Harry could become First Gentleman.
And as Shean reflects on life with his birthday approaching, Shane attempts to put things into perspective.
Episode 30 is seasick gringos, voluptuous bunnies, and Oprah’s Meghan Markle commercial. The guys finally catch up after Shean was chased out of the beach house last week by a ghost. Shean gets cornrows and a COVID test and shares some powerful advice from his dad. Shane’s worried about the new Space Jam and thinks the “simulation” is becoming too predictable. They also get into whether or not Dr. Seuss is racist, people who use COVID as an excuse to be a moral authoritarian, and what happens when mobs dictate justice.
Episode 29 is God, ghosts, and genital mutilation. After a string of technical difficulties, Shean and Shane manage to connect between New York and the Dominican Republic. The guys dive into the idea of our culture’s fetishization of race, Biden dropping the N-word, and how anti-racism might just be the new racism. Potato Heads, cannibals, and sky priority also make an appearance. Finally, Shane tries to coach Shean through the traumatic and sudden ending of this episode.
Episode 28 is grandfather ghosts, token black friends, San Francisco’s sex rules, Cruz in Cancun, weather manipulation, and why you should care about the feelings of inanimate objects. Also, Shane makes an apology and Shean tells us why Lacie was dragged off a plane last week.
Hypochondria. Cracker Barrel. Plantation weddings. Bruce Springsteen. Impeachment fatigue. Mass murder in NY. Activist Mouseketeers. Mars, Heaven, and Hell. Brushes with pure evil. And for Valentine’s Day, Shean and Shane share how they met their better halves—one involves Hebrew wisdom. The other involves a former First Lady.
This episode ends abruptly when someone in the Ready Slow circle is escorted off an airplane. 🦑 ✈️
Episode 26 is about Shane’s machete years, Shean’s business trip to the Ecuadorian uprising, acceptable blackface, apathy vs depression, Space Force, surviving car wrecks, sleep deprivation, and blood sacrifices—all as the Super Bowl plays in the background.
Episode 25 is the Wall Street Rebellion, the class divide, self-destruction, awkward yoga, cheap machetes, immortality, childhood trauma, saying “I love you,” and Shane steals Shean’s anti-snow contraption as a blizzard buries NY.
Sealioning, whataboutism, vandalism, murder––Shane and Shean are doing it all. But as dark as President Biden says it's going to get, the guys' faith in humanity has somehow been restored. This episode of Ready Slow has Wonder Woman, the Wienermobile, Bernie Sanders, Melania, Raggedy Ann, Executive Orders, unity, FUBU, Chairman Mao, Shean's ego in therapy, and the time Shane got into an argument with a man who was just pardoned by President Trump.
Shean and Shane continue to sift through the wreckage that is 2021––and they have questions. What will happen on
Inauguration Day? Why are there 30,000 troops in D.C.? Is Viking Guy really a shaman? Was it an insurrection or a frat party? What is the media up to? Will this podcast survive the purge?
What are your thoughts about Malcolm X?
What was Hellen Keller's deal?
What was the first cassette you owned? Do you even know what cassettes are? Are we all experiencing a shared existential crisis? Are Shean and Shane slowly becoming the same person? How much longer is 2021?
In episode 22, Ready Slow comes to you direct from The Capitol. There are dictators. Church ladies. Failed actors. Lost grandmas. Pre-packaged memes. Lizard people. Corporate sponsorships. Mass hysteria. And tea bags.
The guys discuss the dangers of censorship, Abraham Lincoln’s second assassination, 10 Days of Darkness, and how to hoax an entire town. All of this and more while they solve the mystery behind the Q conspiracy.
Ready Slow returns for their first episode of 2021. Shean pees on a house. Shane eats gas station tuna sandwiches. Teddy Roosevelt, Julie Andrews, and MF DOOM make appearances. The guys also predict what type of mayhem may or may not unfold on January 6th in Washington D.C.; a bill that could grant New York the right to detain the sick; and “conspiracies” that might’ve been proven true.
As 2020 supposedly comes to a grinding halt, Ready Slow wraps up their 20th episode. The guys discuss the Communism Christmas song, Buc-ee’s famous beaver nuggets, the importance of taking risks, the slave labor of adjunct professors, and the thing that disgusts Shean the most. Plus, Shean offers up some much needed advice to Reverend, Doctor, Scientist, Dollar General Shane as he decides to make a life change. 🦑✨💥
In episode 19, the guys dig into whether or not Lizzo is fatphobic, if China can control the weather, Trump’s Christmastime trolling, the way Biden speaks to Civil Rights activists, and the televised COVID vaccinations. Plus, Shean goes full Karen and Shane talks about a first date from Hell. 🦑
The case for Black Santa, the Pope’s alien Nativity, the Disunited States of America, the insufferable snark of the meme-happy moral authoritarians, and Shean and Shane’s close encounters with the Third Kind.
Bad toilet paper conduct, the post-truth media, casual racism, and the strange beauty of coincidence. Episode 17 of Ready Slow finds Shean and Shane considering just how close civilization is to snapping.
Plague tics, egg nog, vaccines, swim team, and Jewish Christmas Trees. In episode 16 of Ready Slow, Shean and Shane continue to flip stereotypes, while pinpointing the thing(s) Shane does that might make Shean quit the podcast once and for all.
Bidets, redemption, Marxism, and mask shaming. Shean and Shane test the limits of their friendship for their Plague-Thanksgiving Special.
Surprise whiskey, Antarctica, Shamans, and King of Pop pumpkins––all while Shean and Shane confront their egomania as they answer every question about human existence. This is episode 14 of Ready Slow.
Will Trump take the win from Biden after lawsuits, is white privilege a myth, what’s the Dead Meme Society, are there vigilante teenagers fighting crime in Massachusetts, can Shean move objects with his mind, is Shane an unofficial member of The Wu-Tang Clan? All this and more in episode 13 of Ready Slow.
The art of procrastination, grandma’s booty calls, the power of a choir, getting the wind knocked out of you, and Miss America pageants. Shean and Shane cover the map in episode 11 as they bring us another round of observations and unpopular opinions.
Ice Cube, Hunter Biden, and the Long Island Serial Killer walk into a bar... This is episode 10 of Ready Slow. Get ready as Shane + Shean discuss cottage cheese, haunted houses, and ask the question- "How long is too long to ask the name of someone you should already know."
Controversial pumpkins, dead cities, grave robbers, and the man who disappeared. This is Shane and Shean’s Halloween Special.
Nudist colonies, dream funerals, and the benefits of waking up at 4am. The guys also discuss @Shean’s jaw-dropping journey to Chicago and @Shane’s debut poetry collection coming out October 13th.
@Shean and @Shane discuss whether or not they’d become immortal, the chances that we are living in a simulation, the Cuties controversy, the Supreme Court nomination drama, feet skin boots, and how emojis and memes will be studied in the future.
In episode six, @Shean and @Shane discuss Trump, vampires, the importance of a good contract, and what happens when you hate something so much it can become a fetish.
College and weddings in the age of Zoom. The life of an adjunct professor. Virus PTSD. How long can Instagram last? Justin Timberlake vs Justin Bieber.
The guys go deep in episode 5 as @Shean and @Shane express concerns over their respective industries—and humanity in general.
It’s @Shean’s turn to interview @Shane and they discover that they just might be the same person from alternate dimensions. For these two strangers who just met, they keep finding weird parallels between their lives. Tune in to episode 4 to hear Shean talk to Shane about tattoos, why we writes, his publication history, his gig as a professor, peacocks, and the mystery of gefilte fish.
@SheanStrong journeys through fires and death in Colorado and lives to tell about it. @ShaneCashman has a theory to save the planet from imminent destruction. And the guys host their first special guest. Plus—Shean turns an epiphany he had in Aspen into today’s unpopular opinion.
In the second episode of @ReadySlow @ShaneCashman interviews @SheanStrong about roof rats, COVID photo shoots, Lil Kim, the wedding industry, and how long it took for him to snap in quarantine. But first, Shane has a major announcement at the top of the episode!
Plus— get ready to love or hate Shean’s Unpopular Opinion.
Shane + Shean of Ready Slow were complete strangers. That is until Shean posted a controversial Instagram post that compelled Shane to reach out. Now they might just be brand new friends.Shane is a 35 year old professor and published author from New York. Shean is a 31 year old floral and event designer from Georgia. Listen in as these guys who just met—meet each other for the first time and talk about their differences and most importantly — their similarities. Their "unpopular opinions" segment will make you shake your head or thank them for saying it out loud.