Dot to Dot Behind the Person: Recent Episodes
Fiona Murden
Join award winning author and psychologist Fiona Murden in the Dot to Dot podcast - joining the dots on what makes you, you.
We learn best from other people and trying things for ourselves. This is made even better when we have some science based approaches to back things up. So that’s what this podcast is all about. Hearing from interesting people across all walks of life, 'role models and real models' sharing their lived experience. This is interspersed with episodes from experts discussing behaviour and the mind - including regular co-host, sports psychologist Lou Jones.
Episode Notes
Together, Frank and Fiona explore:
– How music, neuroscience, and ancient wisdom converge to unlock human potential
– Why we confuse identity with performance and what it costs us
– The difference between peak performance and living a fully human life
– What Frank learned from burnout, breakdowns, and building himself back up
– The critical role of energy, movement, and emotional rhythm in daily life
– Why community is more powerful than we realize and more essential than ever
– The surprising truth about purpose (hint: it’s not what you do it’s who you are while doing it)
– How to reframe technology as a tool for humanity, not a substitute for it
– The overlooked magic of music — not as entertainment, but as medicine, memory, and emotional architecture
This episode is about thriving. Not by doing more, but by remembering who you are, how you connect, and what it means to be fully alive.
To learn more about Frank go to:
🔗 Frank’s work and writing: www.frankfitzpatrick.com
📖 Amplified: Unleash Your Potential Through the Power of Music
🎵 Explore Amplified and upcoming work on the future of music, AI, and human flourishing
For more from Fiona: www.fionamurden.com
For Fiona's substack go to: https://substack.com/@fionamurden
Frank Fitzpatrick is a Grammy-nominated music producer, best-selling author, filmmaker, and founder of Amplified and EarthTones. He is a global leader in using music and neuroscience to transform well-being, performance, and human connection across industries. Frank’s mission is simple but profound: help humanity flourish and co-create a ripple effect for good.
For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com
Together, Aoife and Fiona explore:
– How anticipatory stress affects cardiovascular, immune and cellular function, including signs of accelerated aging
– Why the brain can’t always tell the difference between real danger and imagined fear and how the body pays the price
– The often-overlooked power of social connection, even in fleeting micro-moments
– How visualisation, when used intentionally, can help the body step out of threat mode
– What Aoife’s research into a PTSD app and psychedelic therapy is revealing about trauma, healing, and personalisation
This is a conversation about stress but also about imagination, memory, connection, and the biology of feeling safe.
For more from Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com
Aoife's research can be found here UCSF Profiles
Aoife is Associate Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences and Director of THRIVE Lab at the University of California, San Francisco and San Francisco Veterans Affairs Health Care System. Dedicated to uncovering the mechanisms by which psychological stress causes ill health and developing new treatments for stress-related health conditions.
Here are key takeaways from the conversation:
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Small social interactions matter. Even brief, friendly interactions can positively impact your physiological stress response.
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Practice resilience during calm periods:
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Build social relationships
- Engage in physical activity
- Try meditation and mindfulness
- Practice visualization techniques
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Learn breathing exercises
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Start small with physical activity. If a full workout seems overwhelming, just start by moving a little - standing up, walking for a minute, or doing a short activity.
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Recognize that stress is inevitable, but you can manage your response:
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Distinguish between threat and challenge perceptions
- Practice constraining anticipatory stress through visualization (see Fiona's book Defining You for more on how to do visualisation)
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Understand that your body responds similarly to imagined and real stressors
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Prioritize physiological health to support psychological interventions:
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Exercise can help improve mental health
- Good physical health supports learning and memory
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Small, consistent actions can build resilience
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Be compassionate with yourself and others:
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Understand that mental health symptoms are normal
- Small acts of kindness can significantly impact someone's stress response
- Helping others can also benefit your own mental health
For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com
Christian reveals a game-changing insight most people overlook: every time we listen, we bring an intention. Maybe to fix something. Maybe to understand. Maybe just to connect. But unless our intention matches what the other person actually needs, we miss the moment.
We can be kind, empathetic - and still leave them feeling unheard.
Drawing from his book (written with psychologist Robert Biswas-Diener), Christian introduces six distinct listening intentions - learning, understanding, solving, appreciating, connecting, influencing - and shows how choosing the right one can transform relationships, trust, and connection.
This isn’t just theory. Fiona and Christian share honest stories about when they got it wrong - and what it taught them about emotional intelligence, ego, and psychological safety. From leaders in the workplace to partners at home to fleeting interactions with strangers, this episode makes a bold claim:
Radical listening - when done with the right intention - is one of the most powerful relational tools we have.
And one of the most underused.
Whether you’re leading a team, raising a family, or just trying to build better connections in a noisy world, this conversation offers something rare:
A framework for listening that doesn’t just improve communication - it changes the way we are with others.
For more from Fiona go to:
www.fionamurden.com
Christian's book is out March 25 2025
For more from Christian go to
www.coachonmotorcycle.com
Practical Take-Aways from the Podcast on Radical Listening:
Matching Listening Intentions:
Before conversations, pause and consider: What does the other person want from this interaction?
Acknowledgement Techniques:
- Look for strengths in the other person
- Highlight things you admire about them
Quieting Inner Dialogue:
- Notice internal thoughts that might distract from listening
- Focus fully on the other person
- Minimize interrupting or thinking about your response
Practical Listening Experiments
- Listen to appreciate someone
- Ask "How can I be most helpful in this conversation?"
- Track the impact: How good did the interaction feel? (1-10 scale)
Connection Strategies
- Genuinely ask "How are you?" in everyday interactions
- Look people in the eye
- Show real interest in their responses
- Be open and curious
- Relationship Investment
- Practice listening as a way of building future relationship networks
- Invest time in quality interactions
For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com
What We Cover in This Episode:The Story Behind the Book
- Jenny explains how her Instagram community sparked the writing of Permission to Come Home.
- The book is a call to reclaim mental health, dismantle shame, and give ourselves permission—to question, feel, rage, play, and heal.
Cultural Nuance in Mental Health Care
- Why standard psychological approaches often fail Asian American clients.
- The importance of cultural humility, not just cultural competence, in therapy.
- How mental health systems must be decolonized to truly support diverse communities.
A Journey of Resilience and Defiance
- Jenny shares her path to becoming a clinical psychologist, including moments of discouragement—and the mentors who made all the difference.
- The role of persistence, privilege, and resilience in navigating academic and professional barriers.
The 10 Permissions We All Need
- Fiona highlights the structure of the book: ten chapters that grant “permission” to explore different aspects of mental health and identity.
- Jenny reflects on the vulnerability required to write the book—and why modeling that vulnerability matters.
Intergenerational Trauma & Healing
- A poignant story from Jenny’s mother’s childhood—and how those wounds are passed down, often unconsciously.
- The power of breaking cycles and choosing new, more loving ways of relating across generations.
Why Play Matters—Especially in Adulthood
- Jenny and Fiona explore how cultural dynamics often suppress play in favor of achievement.
- Play as a form of fuel, joy, and self-connection—especially for those in midlife.
Grief, Migration, and Identity
- The hidden grief of migration and the quiet loss of language, heritage, and belonging.
- Jenny speaks movingly about the emotional complexity of existing between two cultures—and the importance of honouring that experience.
Redefining Home
- What does it mean to truly come home to yourself?
- Jenny introduces her four core elements of “home”: safety, belonging, authenticity, and compassion—and how we can cultivate these in our relationships and communities.
Final ReflectionsThis episode is a heartfelt, illuminating conversation that touches on themes many of us carry but often don’t have words for. Whether you’re exploring your own identity or supporting others on their journey, Jenny’s insights offer a gentle but powerful guide.
Here are some practical takeaways from the conversation: Practice Play: Integrate play into your daily life as a source of energy and sustainability, not just as a reward after hard work. Start with small activities that bring you joy and help you recharge. * Embrace Vulnerability: Be willing to share your authentic experiences and emotions. This can help break cycles of shame and silence, especially around mental health. * Reflect on Cultural Identity: Take time to explore your family history, understand intergenerational experiences, and appreciate the complexity of your cultural background. * Create Conditions of Home: Cultivate safety, belonging, authenticity, and compassion in your relationships and personal spaces. * Challenge Achievement-Based Self-Worth: Recognize your value beyond professional achievements. Practice slowing down and tolerating the discomfort of being less productive. * Practice Cultural Humility: Approach different experiences and perspectives with openness, listening, and a willingness to learn. * Break Negative Cycles: Consciously choose to parent, communicate, and interact differently from generational patterns that may have been harmful. * Prioritize Mental Health*: Seek support that understands your unique cultural context and validates your experiences.
These takeaways can help individuals develop more compassionate, balanced, and fulfilling lives across various cultural backgrounds.
Connect with Dr. Jenny Wang Website: www.asianformentalhealth.com * Instagram: @asiansformentalhealth * Book: Permission to Come Home* — available wherever books are sold.
Connect with Fiona Website: www.fionamurden.com * Instagram: @fionamurden * LinkedIn: Fiona Murden * Books: Defining You and Mirror Thinking*
Thank You for ListeningIf this episode resonated with you, please consider subscribing, leaving a review, or sharing it with someone who might benefit from the conversation.
See you next time on Dot to Dot, where we continue to explore the patterns, insights, and human stories that connect us.
For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com
We talk about his fascinating background growing up in Singapore with the expectations that loomed over him. He shares a point where he felt he had failed, the shame that he experienced and the reflection that ensued in what some may consider unusual circumstances – in the jungle during 2 years military service. Nabil’s creativity started early in life but was further ignited by time spent at London College of Fashion, followed by roles held with three globally iconic brands – Urban Outfitters, Selfridges and most recently (at the tender age of 28) the position at Soho House.
Nabil is hungry for growth, deeply committed to continually stretching himself and explains in simple terms how earlier on in life a lack of role-models while pursuing the creative route was hard…
“I'm the guy who would, who would stay back sewing things or painting or whatever it might be. It was always a creative pursuit. It was always about expression. Definitely not football and definitely not playing with the lego set. That was My brother. And I guess at that point, I thought, Okay, this is what being a creative means, but I didn't have role models, then per se, to say, Oh, this is a career path, I couldn't make a living out of this. And Singapore back then was the be all and end all for me. I hadn't really travelled elsewhere, to say oh, you could be a creative director, whatever that means. So, at 15, you, you have a feeling, and you try to manifest as best as possible by eliminating options. And I think that's the hardest thing to do.”
But also, how having role-models as an adult enables him to craft his career with even more care.
“One of the benefits of having role models in your career is that you get to reverse engineer your way? Checking is it OK? If you have 50 years of work life - how do you want to make the most of that time? How can you pace yourself? Most importantly, so that you are peaking at absolutely the right time, when you have the most to give.”
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the role-models and influences in your life then you may enjoy my most recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.**
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
For more from me go to:
https://fionamurden.com
For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com
For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com
Jacob Nordby joins me to discuss his personal journey from feeling trapped in an outwardly successful entrepreneurial career to finding fulfillment through creativity and self-discovery. He reflects on how stepping back from societal definitions of success allowed him to reconnect with what truly mattered - expressing himself and helping others do the same.
We dive into:
- Creativity as a Life Force: How creativity is not limited to art or traditional “creative” work - it’s about feeling alive and expressing who you are, whether that’s through painting, sports, problem-solving, or how you show up in everyday life.
- Making Room for Creativity: The importance of carving out time for creative activities - even if they’re not your primary job - and how this can bring more energy and joy into every area of your life.
- What Blocks Creativity: Jacob explains the three biggest barriers that often shut down our creativity:
- Reconnecting with Your Creative Self: Why self-discovery, self-acceptance, and self-expression are key to breaking through these blocks - and how creativity often requires us to re-learn how to trust ourselves.
- A Balanced Approach: Jacob talks about integrating both left and right brain thinking - combining structure and logic with freedom and imagination - to nurture creativity in all aspects of life.
Jacob also shares insights from his book, The Creative Cure, which offers practical tools and exercises to help readers reconnect with their inner creative selves and find greater freedom and fulfillment.
If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review, and follow the podcast—it helps others discover the show!
Tips to Take Away:
To apply the concept of "creating in the moment" to your daily life and work:
- Be present and attentive to the current moment. Notice your senses, your thoughts, your feelings. Don't get caught up in the past or future.
- Look for opportunities to create something, even if small - a thoughtful email, a doodle, a new recipe, an engaging conversation. Focus on the process of creating, not just the end result.
- Approach tasks and challenges with a mindset of curiosity and exploration, rather than just trying to check things off a to-do list. See each moment as a chance to bring your creativity to bear.
- Take short breaks to reset and reconnect with your inner sense of aliveness and creativity. Even a few minutes of deep breathing or freewriting can help you tap into that energy.
- Experiment and play. Don't get attached to perfection. Allow your creations to be imperfect and evolving.
The key is to shift from seeing creativity as something you produce to a way of being present and engaged in each moment. This can help you feel more alive and fulfilled in both your work and personal life.
Resources:
- The Creative Cure by Jacob Nordby
- Find Jacob Norby at www.jacobnorby.com
- Follow Jacob Nordby: Facebook or Instagram @jacobnordby
For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com
Fiona is joined by friend, sports psychologist Lou Jones on this episode. They talk to Russ about how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can reach aspects of trauma that are otherwise so hard to treat. Russ explains how when people have experienced trauma and it is deeply held it’s far more difficult to reach and heal through words. Although it’s not impossible, it takes a lot longer and a match with the right therapist. While words can create pain, we don’t experience pain in words. The ACT approach to trauma goes first to the body and emotions which enables a much quicker recovery leading to what is known as Post Traumatic Growth.
Links to Russ's books we refer to:
The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living by Russ Harris
Trauma Focussed ACT A Practitioner's Guide to Working with Mind, Body, and Emotion Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
For more from us follow these links:
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via the link and in all good book stores.
Connect with us/ask us any questions on:
Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Or for Lou
Instagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78
For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com
Referred to:
Humankind by Rutger Bergman
https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/rutger-bregman/humankind/9780316418553/?lens=little-brown
Bill Burr on People Online Commenting on the LA Fires
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7wcU4W4tDE
For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com
Andrew explains the need for officers to know themselves really well, to know how to optimise their own recovery which is in part something helped through profiling and in part a process of self-discovery. In light of this Fiona and Andrew explore psychological profiling and how important it is to fit the right personality to the right operations and delve into the use of MBTI (Myers Briggs Type Indicator) as a tool used to help every officer in the CIA understand themselves. Andrew explains his view of the world as a former spy, that ‘every human being you meet is either a source or some kind of support asset or some kind of network capability.’ And they touch on various other topics such as the elite leader, elite surgeon, elite athlete or elite in any field who is perhaps less used to failure than the average joe, or more able to plough on in spite of failure. Andrew shares his view of this, that "their failure is not in their skill. Their failure is seen in the rate of alcohol abuse, that they have substance abuse, the divorce rates, the lack of sleep, the sociopathic tendencies, the psychopathic tendencies."
Andrew describes himself as an improvement junkie. He’s also a former covert CIA intelligence officer, US Air Force combat veteran, and Fortune 10 corporate advisor. He surrounds himself with knowledge, experiences, and people who help him grow and he look for opportunities to share what he’s learnt with others.
For more from Fiona, her books, free resources and more go to www.fionamurden.com
For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com
Fiona and Robert explore the importance of intellectual curiosity, self-understanding, and the trade-offs between traditional careers and entrepreneurial pursuits. They delve into the concept of hospitality, its impact on life satisfaction, and discuss practical advice for increasing happiness and emotional resilience. Robert introduces his research on hospitality, examining its role in well-being and social trust across cultures. The conversation also covers the complex relationship between happiness and economic context, offering practical advice for increasing life satisfaction and emotional agility. Finally, they highlight the importance of connection and belonging for well-being and the need to teach social and emotional skills in schools and workplaces.
Dr Biswas-Diener is a leading authority on strengths, culture, courage, hospitality and happiness. His extensive research, has taken him to places like Greenland, India, and Kenya and resulted in over over 60 peer-reviewed academic articles and seven books, including The Upside of Your Dark Side. His expertise in cross-cultural psychology and well-being policy, have led to him contributing regularly to the Global Council for Happiness and Wellbeing. His work has also made a lasting impact on the coaching profession. When he’s not researching, he enjoys rock climbing and drawing, and lives in Portland, Oregon with his wife.
For more from Fiona go to:
www.fionamurden.com
For more from Dr. Biswas Diener go to:
www.robertdiener.com
For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com
In 1942, Viktor Frankl faced unimaginable adversity as he was sent to Auschwitz. Amid the horrors of a Nazi concentration camp, Frankl observed a remarkable truth: those who found meaning and purpose, even in the darkest moments, displayed an unshakable resilience.These profound insights became the foundation of his groundbreaking work,Man’s Search for Meaning.
Building on Frankl’s work and modern psychological research, this episode of Life Connected™ unpacks the third pillar of resilience: Significance.
Significance, purpose, and meaning are integral to resilience because they provide the "why" behind our actions, helping us navigate life’s toughest moments with clarity and determination. They ground us in our values and passions, offering a sense of direction when everything feels overwhelming. These elements do more than just help us endure—they empower us to grow, adapt, and find ways to contribute to something greater than ourselves. Viktor Frankl’s experiences remind us that even in the most harrowing circumstances, a connection to meaning can transform suffering into strength and purpose, offering an anchor of hope when we need it most.
Explore the power of the 3Ss—Self-Awareness, Social Connection, and Significance—to build your resilience muscle and create a life of deeper meaning and fulfillment.
To learn more about the Life Connected framework, read blogs and find upcoming courses go to:
www.fionamurden.com
Mentioned in the podcast
Fiona's first book Defining You
Russ Harris' podcast discussion on Dot to Dot first episode
Russ Harris' podcast discussion on Dot to Dot second episode
The Values Exercise which can be found on Fiona’s website as a free resource.
The Connection Tips which can be found here
The Strengths Exercises can be found here
For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com
Fiona shares her 3S framework with the key elements to building emotional resilience —Self-Awareness, Social Connection, and Significance (the "3 S's"). Each episode will unpack one of these elements, providing you with practical strategies to enhance your emotional toolkit. This first episode is focussed on Social Connection.
Throughout this podcast, you’ll discover science-backed methods to build your resilience, including giving to, receiving from and growing social connection.
Tune in as we explore what it means to live a Life Connected—because you deserve to feel happier, more fulfilled, and truly in touch with what matters most to you.
To learn more about the Life Connected framework, read blogs and find upcoming courses go to:
www.fionamurden.com
Mentioned in the podcast
Fiona's first book Defining You
For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com
Fiona shares her 3S framework with the key elements to building emotional resilience —Self-Awareness, Social Support, and Significance (the "3 S's"). Each episode will unpack one of these elements, providing you with practical strategies to enhance your emotional toolkit. This first episode is focussed on Self-Awareness.
Throughout this podcast, you’ll discover science-backed methods to build your resilience, including self-monitoring techniques, stress relievers and mindset strategies. We’ll also discuss how creating a sense of “home” within yourself can serve as a foundation for exploring your emotional landscape.
Tune in as we explore what it means to live a Life Connected—because you deserve to feel happier, more fulfilled, and truly in touch with what matters most to you.
To learn more about the Life Connected framework, read blogs and find upcoming courses go to:
www.fionamurden.com
Mentioned in the podcast
Fiona's first book Defining You
Tasha Eurich's podcast episode on Dot to Dot
Kelly McGonigal's Ted talk about Stress
It was Daniel Siegel who used the term Human Family
For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com
Calarco shares insights from her research, highlighting how the pandemic intensified the already heavy burdens placed on women revealing how they often became the primary caregivers when formal systems fell short. She discusses the impact of structural barriers within the USA, like underfunded social support systems, and how societal norms and expectations further pressure women into these roles, leading to feelings of guilt and exhaustion.
The conversation also explores the deep-rooted issues of gender roles and economic inequality, emphasizing the need for a reimagined approach to support networks. Jessica reflects on how these challenges connect to a broader history of individualism and inadequate social policies that have left women disproportionately carrying the load, especially within the United States.
Listeners are invited to reconsider the narratives around caregiving and to think critically about the collective responsibility needed to build a fairer, more supportive society. This episode serves as both a revealing look into modern motherhood and a call for systemic change.
For Jessica Calarco's site click here
For more from Fiona click here
To connect with Fiona on social media go to:
For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com
In this episode, we dive into the concept of authenticity versus emotional labor, exploring the powerful difference between "being" and "seeming." Drawing from psychology and real-world examples, we discuss the hidden costs of faking emotions, both on our mental and physical well-being. We explore how leaders and everyday interactions are impacted by emotional labor and why choosing to be authentic can lead to stronger connections, better leadership, and a healthier, more fulfilling life. Tune in to learn how embracing your true self can transform the way you work, connect, and thrive.For more on Fiona visit www.fionamurden.com
Fiona and Jude discuss the power of verbalizing problems, the initial awkwardness of applying coaching techniques, and the value of experimentation and feedback. Jude outlines the two main steps of her model for coaching - the coaching two-step: asking someone to tell you more and reflecting back what you hear. Jude emphasizes that coaching is a natural skill we can all benefit from, much like cooking, and shares strategies for giving effective feedback and handling difficult emotions with empathy.
To sign up to 'The Dot' newsletter for fortnightly insights into how to live life feeling more connected to yourself and others go to:
www.fionamurden.com
Biography Jude Sclater
Jude Sclater is a coach, author, and trainer. Her book, “Think Like a Coach: How to empower your team through everyday conversations,” introduces the innovative Coaching Two-Step model that simplifies coaching down to its core principles, enabling you to swiftly adopt a coaching management style.
Over 20 years her career she has worked for companies such as Deloitte. Pearson and Penguin Books. She draws on this vast experience to coach and train managers from consulting, legal, and financial service industries, guiding them from individual contributors to great team managers.
Find out more at www.thinkwithjude.com
For Fiona's blog which explores how values can help reduce the 'Fear of Failure' when setting goals go to
Goals Are Great Until Life Takes a Detour
To sign up to 'The Dot' newsletter which comes out every 2 weeks go to:
FionaMurden.com
To connect with the 'Life Connected' community on Instagram go to:
The Connected Psychologist
In this episode, we delve into the journey of Leila Rezaiguia, a passionate advocate for equipping coaches with the skills to effectively serve both individuals and teams. With her extensive experience in corporate roles spanning learning, development, and talent management across various industries, Leila emphasizes the transformative impact of one-on-one and systemic team coaching in fostering trust, collaboration, and a shared purpose within organizations.
Leila also voices her concern about the lack of understanding and awareness around coaching in her region, highlighting the risks posed by unqualified individuals labeling themselves as coaches. She champions ethical coaching practices that empower clients and honor their resourcefulness, steering away from overly directive or prescriptive methods. Additionally, she distinguishes between mentor coaching, which develops specific coaching competencies, and coaching supervision, which deepens the coach's self-awareness and their influence on the client relationship.
With her international background, particularly in the Middle East, Leila addresses the often-taboo subject of menopause in many cultures, especially in some where the stigma can be more pronounced, and how coaching can provide crucial support for women navigating these challenges.
For more from Leila go to https://www.linkedin.com/in/leila-rezaiguia/
For Fiona news from The Dot newsletter go to https://www.fionamurden.com
Or Linkedin at https://www.linkedin.com/in/fionamurden/
Bio for Leila Rezaiguia (MCIPD, PCC, ORSC, NLP, STC)
Leila is a highly sought-after multi-lingual Executive, Systemic Team Coach, ICF Mentor Coach & CSA accredited Coach Supervisor with over 24 years, in public and private sectors, working with leading organisations, and individuals to enhance productivity, maximise performance, and accelerating growth across 5 continents.
She is renowned for her high energy, enthusiasm, passion, fun-loving nature, and love for building connections, empowering, and working with people from diverse cultures. She is passionate about 1:1 & Systemic Team Coaching, Coach Training, Coaching Supervision, and Women in Leadership.
Leila integrates cutting-edge learning techniques to deliver the most effective evidence-based solutions to her clients and strives to help her clients from graduate to C-suite levels reach higher performance personally and professionally.
Leila is passionate about Coaching, Mentoring, Women in Leadership, and Leadership Development and has created successful performance, coaching, and mentoring cultures across different industries.
She is based between Dubai and Turkey and leads both Kompass The Coaching Company & the Academy of Executive CoachingUAE.
If you're feeling overwhelmed by life's challenges I'm hoping this may help. Join us on this episode as we dive into practical strategies and psychological insights to help you regain control and find calm amidst the chaos. Whether you're facing personal or professional hurdles, discover how to navigate them with resilience and grace.
Tori's journey reflects her commitment to resilience and compassion, shaped by her experiences at Smith College and Harvard Divinity School, where she learned about the importance of empathy across cultures and religions. Her work with marginalized populations, including running a shelter for homeless women, led her to pursue a law degree to advocate for change. But perhaps more notable are her personal challenges, including growing up with a brother who has developmental disabilities. It's these which have fueled her passion for social justice and healing.
A pivotal influence in her life was Muhammad Ali, whose compassion inspired Tori to overcome her own struggles. He encouraged her to finish what she started, leading to her successful second attempt at rowing across the Atlantic Ocean. But there were other lesser known figures from a boy at school who stood up for her brother to a teacher who taught her persistence who've also played a huge role in the values she holds closely even today.
Join us as we explore Tori's incredible story, her insights on compassion, and her mission to inspire others to rise above their challenges. This is a conversation filled with wisdom and inspiration that you won't want to miss.
Discussion Points:
- Psychological Vitamins: Dr. Keyes and Fiona discussing the importance of "psychological vitamins"—activities such as helping others, continuous learning, and forming meaningful connections and how these activities are crucial in fostering a healthy and fulfilling life.
- Small Changes Big Impact: They discuss the fact that very small changes in lifestyle, if focussed on the ‘right’ things can create a significant difference in mental health.
- Impact of Childhood Trauma: The lasting impact of childhood trauma on mental health is explored, with Dr. Keyes sharing firsthand experiences from his own life. This personal insight highlights the long-term effects of trauma and the importance of addressing it early.
- Mental Health in Healthcare Workers: Dr. Keyes emphasizes the critical role of mental health in supporting healthcare workers. Ensuring their mental well-being is not only vital for their own health but also for maintaining high-quality patient care.
- Preventive Mental Health Care: A significant portion of the discussion focuses on shifting society's approach from solely treating mental illness to preventing it. Dr. Keyes' research indicates that individuals who are flourishing are less likely to develop PTSD, depression, or anxiety, especially during stressful events like the pandemic. In contrast, those who are languishing are more vulnerable.
- Critique of Medication-Only Approaches: Dr. Keyes critiques the current approach of relying heavily on medication to treat mental health issues. While some individuals benefit from medications, many treatments are primarily placebic and expensive. He advocates for a preventive approach that promotes overall mental well-being to reduce the likelihood of relapse.
- Promoting Flourishing: By fostering flourishing, individuals are more likely to maintain long-term recovery from mental health issues. Dr. Keyes underscores the importance of promoting positive mental health alongside treating symptoms of depression and anxiety.
- Historical Perspective: Reflecting on his career, Dr. Keyes notes that despite recognizing depression as a major public health challenge in 1996, societal approaches to mental health have not significantly changed. He stresses the need for a proactive mental health care system to improve outcomes and reduce the overall burden of mental illness.
- Role of Education and Societal Change: Fiona and Dr. Keyes discuss the importance of education and societal shifts in promoting mental well-being. In the UK, some doctors now prescribe social activities to improve mental health, but broader educational efforts and societal changes are needed for long-term impact.
- Analogy with Athletes: Dr. Keyes draws an analogy with athletes who prepare their bodies and minds to withstand challenges. He suggests that individuals should adopt similar preventive measures in their daily lives to ensure long-term health and resilience.
- Future Vision: Dr. Keyes envisions a healthcare system that monitors individuals' mental health proactively, much like a pit stop team in a car race. Such a system would detect early signs of declining mental health and provide timely interventions to prevent crises.
The discussion delves deep into the paradoxical nature of perfectionism, exploring how it often leads to hiding our struggles and hopes out of fear of disappointment or perceived failure. Jordana reveals how keeping challenges secret, particularly in sensitive situations like IVF, can actually deprive us of crucial support rather than protect us from disappointment. Throughout the episode, Fiona and Jordana explore the importance of selective vulnerability, the power of social support, and the journey of overcoming perfectionist tendencies. They disxuss how society feeds us with certain beliefs that we pursue They touch on various aspects of personal growth, including empathy, creativity, and the process of changing ingrained behaviors to align more with personal well-being than societal expectations.This episode offers valuable insights for anyone grappling with perfectionism or facing personal challenges they're hesitant to share, emphasizing the strength found in vulnerability and the importance of allowing ourselves to be supported.
Key Takeaways:
- Perfectionism often leads to hiding struggles, which can prevent receiving necessary support
- Selective sharing with trusted allies can provide crucial emotional support
- Social support is vital both in pursuing goals and facing adversity
- Overcoming perfectionism involves embracing vulnerability and allowing support from others
- Changing ingrained perfectionist behaviors is possible and beneficial for personal growth
Why not subscribe to The Dot newsletter form Fiona and the team
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Click here to go to the sign up page
Every fortnight, a new edition includes:
- One Key Insight based on science
- One Simple Exercise to put the insight into practice and live a ‘life connected’
- One Point to Ponder over the next two weeks.
By deepening your understanding of yourself and your relationships you’ll begin to find more joy and success. Connecting the dots on your life one step at a time.
To find Jordana Confino and the resources she offers click here
At 16, Corey Keyes seemed to be thriving after a brutal childhood. He excelled in school, played quarterback on the football team, and lived with his loving grandmother in Wisconsin, USA. However, as he writes in his book, Languishing: How To Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down, he felt a "restless emptiness" whenever he slowed down. Determined to understand this feeling, he became a sociologist.
Corey explains that languishing is a normal reaction to life's challenges but can become debilitating if not addressed. He describes it as “the absence of wellbeing…the absence of the really good things that make life meaningful and worth living.” He goes on to explain that “We all languish in a slightly different way. You may feel you don’t have purpose in life. You don’t belong. You’re not contributing. You don’t have warm relationships. You’re not growing as a person.”
Dr. Keyes identifies 11 qualities essential for well-being, including social and psychological aspects. The discussion delves into how mental illness impacts functioning and the importance of preparing for adversity. Corey highlights the significance of mental health preparation, emphasizing the need for social support.
Corey and Fiona discuss importance of social support in healthcare, encouraging professionals to acknowledge and appreciate their colleagues. They also discuss trust in high-performing teams, offering strategies like daily check-ins to build trust and openness. The conversation addresses languishing and ghosting in the workplace, stressing the need for consistent communication and connection.
Jordana is full of energy, a joy to listen to and as one might expect of a Yale Law School grad she really "Knows her stuff". She's also brutally honest explaining her own struggles through a seemingly ideal life of high achievement and how much of her perfectionism stems from a mother who herself "was a ruthless perfectionist, and she tried to perfect me."
Jordana and Fiona also discuss the critical role of trust and vulnerability in effective mentoring and more importantly in simply being human - highlighting how these qualities are often overlooked, especially by professions where they are most needed. They debunk the idea that success requires sacrificing well-being, revealing instead that well-being fuels success. Jordana explains that positive psychology involves acknowledging negative emotions to fully experience positive ones, helping to explain the key differences between positive psychology and toxic positivity. She also explains that acknowledging negative emotions is crucial to fully experience positive ones. They also discuss the impact of positive emotions and how they enhance cognitive function, creativity, and resilience.
Jordana is a certified positive psychology coach and the founder of JC Coaching & Consulting. She helps lawyers, doctors, and other high achievers transform their lives for the better.
To connect with Jordana go to:
Website:jordanaconfino.com
Gelmi and Fiona begin the conversation with an exploration of personality development for leaders and leveraging psychometrics as a tool to uncover innate qualities and potential. Gelmi uses the analogy of nurturing plants to illustrate how individuals can flourish given the right conditions. He also emphasizes the importance of mentoring, self-reflection, and creating safe environments where people feel valued and heard, in order to drive high-performance teams.
The discussion examines the significance of perspective, empathy, and emotional intelligence in leadership and workplace culture. Gelmi stresses the need for consistent modelling of desired behaviours by leaders to effect change across workplace cultures. He encourages embracing human emotions rather than shying away from them, highlighting the role of authenticity, self-awareness, and effective communication in fostering trust and openness.
Throughout the episode, Gelmi provides practical advice and thought-provoking insights, offering listeners a roadmap for personal and professional development in today's dynamic world.
Gelmi’s website is a great resource for anyone wanting to explore this topic further. You can find it at:
https://gelmi.coach/en/
And to find Thomas on Linkedin go to:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/thomasgelmi/
During the podcast Alex shares her inspiring journey and the inception of the foundation. Coming from a family with a deep love of sports, Alex's early exposure to hockey instilled in her a profound love for the game. She embarked on her own sporting journey with a fervent desire to represent England in hockey. Supported by her family, coaches, and teachers, Alex pursued her dream with unwavering determination. However, her path took an unexpected turn when she faced rejection at the under-16 England trials. This setback deeply affected Alex, leading to a struggle with her mental health as she grappled with the loss of her identity as a hockey player. Reflecting on her experience, Alex realized the need for young athletes to have a holistic relationship with sports, one that goes beyond performance on the field. She recognized that while sports play a significant role in shaping individuals, they are just one aspect of a person's identity. Fueled by a desire to support young people facing similar challenges to herself, Alex founded The Mindtridge Foundation.
The foundation aims to help young individuals develop positive relationships with sports by harnessing the power of positive role models, including Olympians and Paralympians and providing young people with the guidance needed to navigate the world of sports while maintaining a strong sense of self-worth and identity. Her vision is to ensure that no young person experiences the isolation and struggle she faced, but instead finds fulfillment and empowerment through sports in any capacity. So far the charity has helped 88,000 young people. Concluding the episode, Alex and Fiona share their shared vision for empowering youth and overcoming obstacles through preparation, determination, and a commitment to fostering inclusive and supportive environments within the sports industry.
Fiona is lucky enough to be one of the Mintridge Squad – part of the team supporting the amazing work that Alex and the charity are doing for young people.
To learn more about Mintridge or to donate to this worthwhile charity please go to:
https://www.mintridgefoundation.org.uk
Zoiey is a trailblazing inclusion activist who has made significant contributions to the world of sports. With over 20 years of experience in the industry, she has worked her way up from being an athlete to becoming a highly respected inclusion consultant. In 2017, Grazia magazine recognized her as one of the top Black British influential figures in the UK.
Zoeiy's journey is one of unwavering determination and resilience. She shares insightful anecdotes and personal experiences, highlighting the importance of embracing one's identity and advocating for inclusivity in sports and beyond.
Throughout the episode, Zoeiy also reflects on the challenges she's faced, from childhood encounters with racism to navigating gender biases in the sports industry. Her candid insights shed light on the importance of creating inclusive spaces and challenging societal norms. Zoeiy's dedication to promoting diversity and inclusivity, her impact on the industry is undeniable.
For more from Zoeiy you can find her at:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/zoiey-smale/
To find out more about Oka and how we can help to improve DEI within your work place go to:
https://www.oka.life
Through her work with bloss.m, Lola is breaking barriers for underrepresented groups in the workplace and addressing systemic obstacles to success. She emphasizes the importance of mentorship, personal growth, and self-awareness in achieving long-term goals.
Join us as we explore Lola's impactful journey, her commitment to empowering women and girls, and the transformative power of mentorship and self-reflection. Lola radiates warmth and inspiration, illuminating every room she enters or, in this case, every airwave she graces. With her fearless approach to life's journey, she charts paths less traveled, guiding others along the way and encouraging others to discover their true potential. We can all learn from Lola's insights and be inspired to make a difference in our own life and the lives of others.
For more from Lola go to https://www.linkedin.com/in/lolaolaore/
For more from us go to:
https://oka.life or https://fionamurden.com
For more from Dr Russ Harris go to:
https://www.actmindfully.com.au
Or find him on YouTube at
@dr.russharris-acceptanceco972
In this episode we discuss the complexity of taking care of yourself and a newborn, and explore the unique challenges and experiences that come with motherhood. As Garrett shares her own experiences, she also delves into the products that made a difference in her life and how she and her family decided to create a company to provide solutions for other moms. Garrett shares that “The early stages of postpartum life redefined the word “comfort” for me and now I'm on a mission to help others get cozy while doing the hard things including but not limited to parenting, birthing and business building.”
She also touches upon the need for support and understanding in those critical moments, emphasizing the role of men as allies in this journey. This is something that we’re all too aware of at Oka, as well as matching women to mentors who have been through similar experiences (like for example returning to work after having a baby) we guide the allies (e.g. male colleagues, partners) in how to provide the best support while also looking after themselves.
Prior to kozēkozē and motherhood, Garrett wrote and published a novel based-on-true events from her own life called, "Dare To Move." She also hosts the kozēkozē podcast where we bring in experts doing the hard things, like birth and business, to share their vulnerable stories on business and self-development.
Garrett’s first career was in real estate development and she helped with the US rollout of Caffè Nero. Her love of fitness guided her to teach at Shred415 in Chicago and also Barry’s Bootcamp in Boston for 7 years.
Join us for this insightful episode as we explore the challenges and opportunities that come with motherhood, entrepreneurship and personal growth.
To find Garrett’s products go to:
https://www.kozekoze.com
To sign up to Oka where we can help you back on your journey to fulfilling your potential in a way that fits or to support another woman through your own experience please sign up to
https://oka.life/waitlistpage
In our conversation, we delve into the essence of Michelle’s beliefs, emphasizing the importance of seeking support when needed and shattering the stereotype that Olympians must always be infallible. At the heart of our discussion is the recognition of the 'whole person' behind every champion. Michelle's perspective is firmly rooted in the value of hard work, as she aptly puts it, "You might be a natural at languages, math, or even athletics, but beneath it all, there's still a need to put in the effort."
And she also acknowledges that her own story and the stories of countless other successes go far beyond mere talent and effort. Embracing vulnerability and reaching out for help when necessary is, as she believes, a hallmark of strength. She articulates this beautifully by saying, "Being strong, in my very humble opinion, is accepting the need to raise your hand and say to those closest to you, 'I need support today.'" In her own words, she humbly states, "I'm not just an Olympic medalist; I am a girl who dared to dream." Daring to dream and unwavering tenacity are the driving forces that carry champions through the toughest times, "when it's hard, when you're injured, when you stumble, when you feel you can't go on."
Michelle also encourages each of us to discover our unique sources of joy and pursue them with unwavering determination. She shares her own daily life as an example of what this entails.
This episode is a genuine wellspring of inspiration, featuring a truly remarkable woman.
To find Michelle go to:
https://michellegriffithrobinsonoly.co.uk
To join the Oka waitlist and find a mentor or coach to support you on your journey go to
https://oka.life/waitlist
In our discussion, we delve into how social media affects adolescent well-being across diverse societies and demographics. With his background in social work, Sebastian sheds light on the intricate interplay between individual differences and societal context, offering a holistic perspective on this complex issue.
We explore the nuanced impact of social media on adolescent mental health. While research indicates a small negative impact on average, we delve into the vulnerabilities that adolescents face during the transition from childhood to adulthood, when social media's influence can be most pronounced. The discussion extends to how social media affects children's development, and we emphasize the need for empirical data to hold social media platforms accountable for hosting abusive content.
Social media regulation is a hot topic, and we explore the challenges it presents. Sebastian highlights the importance of thoughtful policy changes and societal action, especially in the global South, to address issues beyond individual control.
Workplace pressure is another pressing issue. We examine how excessive pressure can erode trust and lead to mental health strain among healthcare workers, especially in child protection services which has a broader knock on impact.
To sign up to the Oka mentoring app follow this link: https://oka.life/waitlistpage
Discover practical strategies to savour every step of your personal and professional growth, no matter how big or small so that you end your working life with no regrets. Whether you're leading a global corporation or tending to your garden.
"A series of studies have shown this….when you ask people at the end of their working lives to look back, 'What are the main regrets or lessons or advice that you would have for others?' And three things emerge, typically, and are really quite significantly ahead of all the other kinds of regrets."
- Embracing Risk: "I wish I'd taken more risk in my life, more risk in doing what I really wanted to do, more risk in relationships.”
- Enjoying the Journey: "I wish, instead of just going down tramlines on autopilot, I'd ask myself, am I enjoying this journey? Am I really being satisfied here?"
- Legacy and Fulfilment: "I wish I'd thought about the legacy I was going to leave behind."
Mentorship as a Catalyst: But here's the most exciting part for me. When it comes to embracing risk and crafting your legacy, mentorship is a powerful and positive way to achieve both. Mentors guide you in taking those leaps of faith, and they inspire you to envision the lasting impact you can create. And being a mentor also allows you to enjoy your own journey more and ensure that you’re passing on your learning and legacy to the next generation. Join the Oka waitlist to be part of our psychologically backed mentoring.
Biography
Gurnek Bains was born in Bhangal, a relatively poor village in the north of India. Although his parents and three sisters slept in one room with no electric lighting, Gurnek’s father grew up believing that they shouldn’t be as poor as they were. He dedicated himself to bettering his family’s life chances and became school principle at the age of 32. When he and the rest of Gurnek’s family eventually moved to the UK, he worked multiple jobs and always encouraged his children to learn.
Watching his parents make huge sacrifices, Gurnek developed what he described as a huge “compensatory drive”. He managed to make it into grammar school and after many years of hard work went on to earn a PhD in social psychology at Oxford University.
While he first practised as a clinical psychologist, it wasn’t long until Gurnek moved into business psychology and set up Britain’s first consultancy dedicated to harnessing the power of psychology, YSC. Two decades later he and his colleagues had built YSC from a company of two to employing over 250 people in over 25 offices around the world, and were working with over half the FTSE 100. His company became known as one of the best for driving performance, improving cultures and unleashing the power of potential at work. To be “YSC’ed” became a familiar verb in business circles around the world.
Gurnek has always been interested in how psychology can serve society as well as business. While he continues his consulting work at his smaller boutique firm, Global Future, he also leads its sister think tank NOUS and works privately with a number of senior political figures. He has written two books; ‘Meaning Inc.’, which explores how to build meaning and purpose into work, and ‘Cultural DNA’, a book dedicated to helping people empathise with different cultures. He also regularly contributes as a writer and commentator to Psychology Today.
Gurnek is hugely grateful to the UK for the opportunities it has given him, and feels a strong need to give something back. Over recent years he has become dedicated to helping people understand how we can navigate the turbulence of modern society with purpose and investment, with our mental wellbeing intact and ultimately, with optimism.
In this episode, we embark on Andrew's incredible journey into the world of social media and sports. From the fast-paced business of sports streaming to the art of storytelling in the realm of Major League Baseball, we uncover the secrets of connecting with diverse audiences.
But that's not all. We delve into the transition from professional athlete to entrepreneur and explore personal development gems. Andrew shares insights on finding the right job, the ever-evolving journey of self-awareness, and the power of learning from mistakes.
Join us for a thought-provoking conversation that promises valuable takeaways for your own journey.
To find out more about progressing your personal growth with the help of a mentor or to be a mentor find us at Oka Life.
Schneider’s journey will resonate particularly with those navigating the entrepreneurial realm, where challenges and triumphs often intertwine. Refreshingly Schneider challenges the conventional mindset that success breeds happiness, advocating for a shift from "Have, Do, Be" to "Be, Do, Have." finding contentment within, propelling purposeful actions, and allowing rewards to naturally follow.
Schneider describes how with age, the entrepreneurial journey becomes a dance with escalating stakes. He highlights the crucial interplay between challenges and mental well-being and underscores the power of faith, whether in oneself or the universe, as a resilient foundation against life's uncertainties.
In the pursuit of success, Schneider spotlights the significance of valuing relationships. He counters the corrosive nature of comparison, advocating for a focus on authentic impact and in finding solace in outward focus. By extending kindness and support to others, he has experienced personal growth. While he acknowledges personal milestones he also underscores the profound fulfilment derived from aiding others on their journeys.
Mentorship also emerges as a guiding light in Schneider's narrative. Learning from those who've trodden similar paths mitigates avoidable missteps. He emphasizes the transformational power of translating mentorship into actionable steps.
Esme Verity supports founders, those who are 'Zebras'. The insights she shares throw light on to a world which favours a cookie cutter approach to success, even within the area of start-ups where our expectation may be different. Fiona explores Esme’s journey and the interesting experience she’s gained on “building a business that doesn't fit into this mainstream mould that we now have, a sort of Silicon Valley mould.” Why by investors looking only for businesses that offer a 10x return on investment leads to so many startups that are critical to the world being disregarded and left struggling to survive.
Esme ran an antique jewellery business from the age of 18 and throughout university. When she left, she sought funding to help grow that business, and that’s when she was thrown into the world of Venture Capital. The VC world is very much focussed on finding the next unicorn business, something that’s going to grow incredibly big, very quickly. But Esme explains how she thinks that this reflects ‘a very limited definition of ambition’ and just ‘because you don't want to build a huge giant business doesn't make you not ambitious, it just means that you want something different.’ Wanting to do things differently and support the diversity of people within the start-up world, not just the unicorns, Esme has been on a mission ever since to advance her understanding of alternative approaches to growing a business that’s sustainable and to share that knowledge with others.
Esme teaches about alternative funding and has worked with hundreds of purpose-driven start-ups, non-profits and governments to help democratise access to alternative funding sources. Prior to founding Considered Capital, she was Director of Chapters at Zebras Unite, an international and intersectional hybrid cooperative dedicated to creating new financial instruments for the next economy. Esme is an active angel investor and was named one of the Top 100 Women in Social Enterprise by Pioneers Post. Esme is the founder of Considered Capital, a platform for start-ups and organisations seeking alternative funding. Considered Capital simplifies and speeds up the journey to finding and accessing the right funding fit through courses, community and content.
To find Esme go to Linkedin or her website Considered Capital
For Zebras Unite click here
For more from Fiona and her startup Oka click here.
Bhavin Visavadia is a senior and experienced Consultant Oral and Maxillofacial Surgeon and Clinical Leader. He is a surgical educator teaching around the world and was a member of Council of the British Association of Oral and Maxillofacial Surgeons (BAOMS). He was also Chairman of the Consultants and Specialists Group here. Bhavin has the position of Regional Director for London (NW) at the Royal College of Surgeons of England. He is also President of the Oral Surgery Club of Great Britain
Bhavin qualified in medicine and dentistry at King’s College London and undertook his specialist surgical training at Queen Victoria Hospital in East Grinstead, Royal Surrey County Hospital in Guildford and Guy’s and King’s College Hospitals, London. Bhavin is highly committed to surgical training supporting mentoring and pro-actively engaging with the development of surgeons, doctors, nurses and dentists.
For more on opportunities to get involved in mentoring or to be mentored go to:
https://oka.life
For more from Fiona go to:
https://fionamurden.com
For more on the Comfort Zone go to my book Defining You - Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential
Hannah has observed the pop-culture messaging of "love yourself”, “reduce stress”, “avoid burnout”, “safe spaces”, “take it easy”, and “hack culture". All of which are promoted with good intentions. However, Hannah is passionate that these messages lead to adverse outcomes.
Because of her diverse experience and when looking through the prism of a female soldier (or those taking on demanding physical challenges) Hannah promotes tremendous success by doing the opposite.
Hannah is on a mission (pun intended) to convince people to seek out discomfort, to take a leap of faith when feeling overwhelmed by emotions and continually action their goals. Hannah’s simple strategies and lived experience can cut through some noise, helping all walks of life!
Hannah's Bio:
At the tender age of 18, Hannah joined the army and has served for 12 years, including two operational tours in Afghanistan. During this time,Hannahhas lived in Germany, worked for NATO, and was also privileged to serve the late Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II on ceremonial duties, including Garden Parties, Diplomatic Receptions, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s wedding and the late Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh funeral.Hannah's versatility extends beyond military service. She is also a skilled ski instructor and has participated in various adventure training activities, including parachuting and a military competition where she carried 40 pounds of weight over 40 miles. Also, Hannah placed 2nd in her age and gender group in the military section of an Ironman competition.
Her passion for personal growth and resilience has led her to establish Simple as Hannah, where she hopes to help individuals enhance their health and well-being, build their stress tolerance, and reach their full through regular exposure to discomfort with simple and actionable protocols to help along the way. With her unique combination of military discipline and physical challenges,Hannah is well-equipped to guide others on their journey of self-discovery and growth.
For more about Hannah please go to:
https://linktr.ee/simple_as_hannah
For more from Fiona go to:
https://fionamurden.com
The books I refer to are:
Mirror Thinking https://bit.ly/mirrorthink
Defining You https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
Other references made can be found in Defining You.
Giles is an award-winning author, podcaster and screenwriter. Giles' first novel for adults One Hundred and Fifty-Two Days come out in March 2020. Author of several books for children and two adult novels, with a third on the way. His book One Hundred and Fifty-Two Days has been adapted by Giles and Elizabeth Morris for Arclight Films and Future Artists Entertainment. Giles is the writer of six short films for Little Angel Theatre. Giles’ children’s books include The Fearsome Beastie, winner of The People's Book Prize 2012, Heart of Hawick Children's Book Award 2013, Bizziebaby Gold Award, The US Forward National Literary Award and Shortlisted for The Rotherham Children's Book Award 2012. Tamara Small and the Monsters' Ball is shortlisted for The People's Book Prize 2013. He has written several picture books, including Things You Never Knew About Dinosaurs, Princess Stay Awake and a collection of nonsense poetry.
Giles' is co-host and producer of the award-nominated Blank Podcast and regularly writes for Aquila Magazine. He’s also co-host of the ‘A Little Bit of Positive’ podcast with Julia Bradbury and co-host of ‘Things I forgot were good for me’ with Dr Radha Modgil.
Giles lives with his wife and two sons in East Sussex
To pledge for Gile’s next book go to:
https://unbound.com/books/gigantium/
To connect with Giles on Twitter go to:
@eliistender10
For more from Fiona go to:
https://fionamurden.com
So while Sophie’s subjects are animals, her ability to watch people and question why people are doing what they're doing, whether they're doing what they should be doing, or think they should be doing, or whether they're actually being kind of authentic to themselves must have influenced her ability to so accurately reflect not just the image of the animals but the emotion that comes with that. As she says herself:
“It is impossible to admire the beauty of the natural world without also reflecting on its vulnerability.”
Sophie has dedicated her time and artistic work to raising awareness for issues surrounding animal welfare and the environment. Her art is magical, emotive and so realistic that it’s hard to believe it’s not a photograph stepping out of the canvas toward you. Sophie says:
Throughout her career as a fine artist and since founding the online gallery and art store, Art Basket, Sophie has donated 10% of her profits to wildlife & conservation charities and has worked closely with foundations such as IFAW, The David Shepherd Wildlife Foundation and Explorers Against Extinction to help to make a difference.
In 2021, Sophie was awarded the ‘medal of excellence’ by the Artists for Conservation foundation for her outstanding work in the wildlife & conservation sphere. Sophie was also the winner of the Leisure Painter People's Choice Award 2020 and 2021, runner-up in the BBC Wildlife Magazine People’s Choice and was deemed ‘highly commended’ in prizes such as the Wildlife Artist of the Year competition, the Sketch for Survival Award and the Ashurst Emerging Artist Prize. In 2021, Sophie was selected to be one of 20 Artists to exhibit at COP26 in the Blue zone.
To see some of Sophie’s brilliant work go to:
https://www.sophiegreenfineart.com/
For more from me go to
https://fionamurden.com
Fiona explores how gambling became a drug for Patrick. How the biggest thing for him was learning how to show his emotion, the importance of self-awareness. Patrick now works for Epic Risk Management which was formed in 2014, when the CEO of the company had ended up in prison, having attempted suicide, and stolen £434,000 from his employers, which was one of the world's biggest banks to fund his gambling addiction. Whilst he was in prison, he recognised that actually, he wasn't the only person who had suffered from an addiction of this kind who must have done things like he had done and ended up in the situation that he was. Patrick says that he realised that there were a lot of organisations that dealt with people once they'd kind of fallen off the cliff but that there weren't enough trying to prevent it in the first place. Patrick explains how gambling carries such stigma that what they try at his company is to try and break down those barriers and ultimately allow people to make more informed decisions, to understand how to spot signs in themselves and probably most importantly what to do if they do need help.
Patrick’s book is called - Might Bite: The Secret Life of a Gambling Addict
We explore psychological profiling and how important it is to fit the right personality to the right operations and delve into the use of MBTI (Myers Briggs Type Indicator) as a tool used to help every officer in the CIA understand themselves. Andrew explains his view of the world as a former spy, that ‘every human being you meet is either a source or some kind of support asset or some kind of network capability.’ And we touch on various other topics such as the elite leader, elite surgeon, elite athlete or elite in any field who is perhaps less used to failure than the average joe, or more able to plough on in spite of failure. Andrew shares his view of this, that ‘their failure is not in their skill. Their failure is seen in the rate of alcohol abuse, that they have substance abuse, the divorce rates, the lack of sleep, the sociopathic tendencies, the psychopathic tendencies.’
More about Andrew
Andrew describes himself as an improvement junkie. He’s also a former covert CIA intelligence officer, US Air Force combat veteran, and Fortune 10 corporate advisor. He surrounds himself with knowledge, experiences, and people who help him grow and he look for opportunities to share what he’s learnt with others. For more from Andrew go to everydayspy.com
For more from Fiona go to www.fionamurden.com
Fiona and Dermot discuss what Alan was really like, from his utter brilliance through to those areas that he was less adept. The truth about his relationships with a few close friends which stands in deep contrast to the portrait drawn of him as a loner, by Hollywood and many biographers. Of course we also talk about the people who impacted Alan Turing from shaping his thinking to the decisions he made. We also cover Dermot's own incredible career and how much Alan Turing influenced the course that he took.
Dermot Turing – like his celebrated uncle Alan Turing – was educated at Sherborne School and King’s College, Cambridge. After a doing a D.Phil in Genetics at Oxford, he concluded that scientific research was not for him, and moved into the legal profession.
Dermot worked for the Government Legal Service and then the international law firm Clifford Chance, where he was a partner until 2014. His specialism was financial sector regulation, particularly the problems associated with failed banks, and financial market infrastructure.
As well as writing and speaking, Dermot is a trustee of The Turing Trust and a Visiting Fellow at Kellogg College, Oxford. He continues his interest in the financial world.
Dermot lives in Kippen in Stirlingshire. He is married with two sons, and as well as history his interests include cooking, gardening and opera.
To read more about Dermot and find links to his books go to DermotTuring.com
For Fiona's book that Dermot wrote an endorsement for click here Mirror Thinking - How Role Models Make Us Human
Pat’s interest in Mental Health, Resilience and more specifically Mindfulness started in 2009, whilst on operations in Afghanistan. He completed an Open University degree in Psychology after noticing the lack of a ‘therapeutic relationship’ between soldiers returning from operations and their counsellors. He ran weekly online Mindfulness sessions throughout the COVID-19 period and continues to do so. Currently he is leading the implementation of Physical Attention Training (PAT), an innovative approach to bringing Mindfulness based coping strategies into the existing culture of physical training.
More about Major Burgess
Major Burgess was brought up in Wells, Somerset, joined the Army in September 1992 and started his career at The Second Royal Tank Regiment in Fallingbostel, Germany. He served with the regiment in Germany, Northern Ireland, Canada, Poland, Iraq and Afghanistan in a career that saw him from Trooper, through Tank Commander to Regimental Sergeant Major. He was recently promoted to Major as Officer Commanding the Combat CIS School.
He was awarded an MBE in the 2020 New Year's Honours List in recognition of his tireless work in bringing mindfulness to Defence and has more recently been awarded an Honorary Degree of Doctor of Science (DSc) by Glasgow and Caledonian University. He is a member of the Defence Mindfulness Steering Group and his course content and delivery are endorsed by the Counselling and Psychotherapy Central Awarding Body (CPCAB).
For more on Major Burgess go to his website www.oneworldmindfulness.co.uk
For more from me go to www.fionamurden.com
We talk about having an ‘elite education’ and how when Sarah went to Harvard she ‘saw how the sausage is made’. “And by sausage, I mean, how elite people are made, and who runs the universe, so to speak.” Sarah also explains how through her studies at Oxford she has seen that “the way that political thinking is just not very much like other forms of thinking. It's deeply tied into our sense of who we are, whether we're good people. And not only that, but it's tied up in our sense that we need to kind of feel okay about the immediate opportunities for action available to us in the future.” We also discuss how the School of Life shaped Sarah’s thinking, whether there are ever any ‘new’ ideas as opposed to a reshaping of those that have existed sometimes for centuries, we explore nudges and the extent to which they are all that they are cracked up to be and many, many other topics.
More about Sarah.
Sarah is a writer, content strategist, learning designer, and researcher at Oxford University. Her academic research focuses on the role of emotion in political communication, and specifically on cognitive dissonance. Another string to her bow is that she’s the Head of Content Strategy at the Future Narratives Lab where she works on projects related to policy and politics. She also serves on the Institute of Imagination’s Global Imagination Board. For many years she was also the Head of Content at The School of Life, where she is still a faculty member and learning designer. To read more about Sarah click her to go to her website.
For more from us go to:
www.fionamurden.com
or www.oka.life
Kimmel is an Emeritus Professor of Sociology and Gender Studies at Stony Brook University. Among his many books are Manhood in America, Angry White Men, The Politics of Manhood, The Gendered Society and the best seller Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men. With funding from the MacArthur Foundation, he founded the Center for the Study of Men and Masculinities at Stony Brook in 2013. He has delivered the International Women’s Day annual lecture at the European Parliament, the European Commission and the Council of Europe, and has worked with the Ministers for Gender Equality of Norway, Denmark and Sweden in developing programs for boys and men. He consults widely with corporations, NGOs and public sector organizations on gender equity issues.
For more from Michael go to www.michaelkimmel.com
For more from Fiona go to www.fionamurden.com
I’ve been wanting to record an episode with Nabil for ages, but there simply hasn’t been time. He moved from one fast paced role to another most recently holding the position of Global Chief Creative Officer at Soho House. I’m pleased to say that finally he’s taking a breather (although even that involves a course at Harvard University) so I caught him just long enough to share his story with you.
We talk about his fascinating background growing up in Singapore with the expectations that loomed over him. He shares a point where he felt he had failed, the shame that he experienced and the reflection that ensued in what some may consider unusual circumstances – in the jungle during 2 years military service. Nabil’s creativity started early in life but was further ignited by time spent at London College of Fashion, followed by roles held with three globally iconic brands – Urban Outfitters, Selfridges and most recently (at the tender age of 28) the position at Soho House.
Nabil is hungry for growth, deeply committed to continually stretching himself and explains in simple terms how earlier on in life a lack of role-models while pursuing the creative route was hard…
“I'm the guy who would, who would stay back sewing things or painting or whatever it might be. It was always a creative pursuit. It was always about expression. Definitely not football and definitely not playing with the lego set. That was My brother. And I guess at that point, I thought, Okay, this is what being a creative means, but I didn't have role models, then per se, to say, Oh, this is a career path, I couldn't make a living out of this. And Singapore back then was the be all and end all for me. I hadn't really travelled elsewhere, to say oh, you could be a creative director, whatever that means. So, at 15, you, you have a feeling, and you try to manifest as best as possible by eliminating options. And I think that's the hardest thing to do.”
But also, how having role-models as an adult enables him to craft his career with even more care.
“One of the benefits of having role models in your career is that you get to reverse engineer your way? Checking is it OK? If you have 50 years of work life - how do you want to make the most of that time? How can you pace yourself? Most importantly, so that you are peaking at absolutely the right time, when you have the most to give.”
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the role-models and influences in your life then you may enjoy my most recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.**
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
For more from me go to:
https://fionamurden.com
Amongst other things we discuss the impact of having a family on friendship, the devastating outcomes associated with social isolation and the issue of avoiding the difficult conversations that could improve friendships.
Denworth is a contributing editor at Scientific American and the author of Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life’s Fundamental Bond, which was named one of the best leadership books of 2020 by Adam Grant and called “the best of science writing” by Booklist. She is also co-author, with Dana Suskind, of the New York Times bestseller Parent Nation, and has written two other books of popular science: I Can Hear You Whisperand Toxic Truth. Her work has also appeared in The Atlantic, New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Newsweek, Time, and many other publications. She lives in Brooklyn, New York with her family.
For more about Lydia and her work – here is the link to Lydia's books page.
For more from me go to
www.fionamurden.com
I first came across George Bonanno’s work when I was struggling with the death of my Dad 10 years ago. His first book, the Other Side of Sadness helped me to reframe what I was experiencing in an incredibly helpful way and I have since bought it numerous times to comfort other people. One of the things I found most intriguing was how concepts such as the Kubler Ross model of the stages of grief are not actually scientifically founded. In other words we’re clinging on to a model that is made up and doesn’t actually reflect how most people respond. So, I was really excited to have the opportunity to speak to him. In this episode we talk about how resilience works and George’s most recent book The End of Trauma (which in spite of the title is relevant to anyone and everyone). We discuss how normal resilience actually is and how our expectations of traumatic responses come from studying the more severe clinical cases rather than how the ‘average’ person responds.
George was not only in New York during the 9/11 attacks but actually went down to the site to help so he doesn’t just speak from a scientific perspective but from one lived and breathed himself. But another perhaps surprising yet true fact is that we hugely over-estimated the number of people who would suffer from trauma even as a result of that horrific event. Why, well people are overwhelmingly resilient to adversity. What we often interpret as PTSD are signs of a natural process of learning how to deal with a specific situation. We can cope far more effectively if we understand how this process works, which we also discuss.
Bio - Dr. George Bonanno is a professor of psychology, chair of the department of counseling in clinical psychology, and director of the Loss, Trauma, and Emotion Lab at Teachers College Columbia University.
Website: www.tc.columbia.edu/LTElab/
Twitter: @giorgiobee
For more from me go to:
https://fionamurden.com
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
We also discuss the subtlety of understanding our mental health and emotions. Giving in too much can actually lead to a dangerous negative spiral, but how it’s equally damaging to ignore our distress or negative feeling feelings or not have any support in processing them. Psychology, the brain and behaviour are incredibly nuanced. Anna explains how being able to name our emotions and have a broad vocabulary for them can be surprisingly effective. She for example took it upon herself to find an array of words for anger (which by the way it’s OK to feel, just not to act on – another nuance we chat about) which you can find below. Anna also explains how critical it is to build our own personal toolkit so that we have the right tools for different emotional responses in different contexts.
Dr Anna Colton, is a chartered clinical psychologist and executive coach, specialising in the Adolescence, Eating disorders, the Bar, elite performance and stage fright.
In addition to her adolescent, coaching and legal practices, Dr Anna has worked with the leads and casts of many West End shows, is the psychologist on Matilda the musical and consults to many other theatre companies. She also works with TV companies to ensure the psychological safety of participants in their shows.
She can often be seen or heard on the TV and radio discussing a range of mental health and well-being topics.
For more on Dr. Anna go to:
www.dranna.co.uk
For more from me go to:
www.fionamurden.com
Anna’s list of angry words are below:
Angry
Annoyed
Affronted
Agitated
Antagonised
Bitter
Cantankerous
Cross
Chafed
Convulsed
Choked
Choleric
Churlish
Crotchety
Disagreeable
Displeased
Enraged
Exasperated
Furious
Fuming
Ferocious
Fiery
Fractious
Fretful
Galled
Grumpy
Grouchy
Huffy
Hacked off
Hot
Heated
Impatient
Incensed
Incandescent
Indignant
Ill-humoured
Ill-tempered
Irritable
Irate
Irritated
Irascible
Inflamed
Infuriated
Ireful
Irked
Livid
Mad
Maddened
Miffed
Narked
Narkey
Nettled
Outraged
Offended
Peeved
Petulant
Pissed
Pissed off
Piqued
Provoked
Put out
Raging
Ranting
Ratty
Raving
Resentful
Riled
Sore
Splenic
Snappy
Storming
Sullen
Sulky
Stewing
Tetchy
Testy
Turbulent
Terrifying
Tumult
Wrathful
Vexed
Founder of KnowThyBrand, Giulia is a social entrepreneur dedicated to helping women in business to build sustainable ventures and career paths. She is mother of three boys who she is bringing up to respect women and bring their attention to what women can achieve “It’s as important for boys to see women can do anything as it is to see men doing anything.” She role-models this approach in all she does and says, which is underpinned by both her drive for social justice and her ever inquisitive approach to understanding the world and her place in it.
Giulia’s social enterprise KnowThyBrand is committed to enabling women to build sustainable businesses and career paths through strategic branding and effective gender inclusion solutions. Their values, the guiding principles that shape everything we do as a social enterprise are:
Equality – We believe in social equality and support women’s equality and empowerment as part of the solution.
Equity – We recognise that each person has different circumstances and that different resources and opportunities are needed to reach the same outcome.
Sisterhood – We believe in the collective power of women working together and consistently inspiring each other to achieve their highest potential.
For more from Giulia go to:
https://knowthybrand.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/giulia-iannucci/
For more from me go to:
https://fionamurden.com
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
We discuss the importance of this type of longitudinal research (i.e. research that involves repeated observations of the same variables over periods of time) in understanding how the brain develops in children who have autism and other neurodevelopmental disabilities. As well as exploring Dr. Wu Nordahl’s findings we also explore why there is less research carried out on girls and non-binary children with autism. With regard to girls this is in part because of their tendency to mask their natural tendencies and preferences socially meaning it’s less often diagnosed, as a result research has predominantly been carried out on boys with autism. Dr. Wu Nordahl has worked really hard to improve the ratio of males to females in her cohorts helping to advance our understanding of some of the neurological nuances the sex differences represent.
Christine’s research program at the UC Davis MIND Institute utilizes structural and functional MRI scans to study brain development in autism across the life span. Since 2006, she has led neuroimaging efforts of the Autism Phenome Project and Girls with Autism - Imaging of Neurodevelopment study, two integrated longitudinal, interdisciplinary studies aimed at identifying clinically meaningful subtypes of autism. She is particularly committed to evaluating the entire autism spectrum, including girls with autism as well as the entire range of intellectual abilities. In 2021, she and her team initiated NeuroTeens, a social support group for neurodivergent girls and non-binary teens.
Todd Kashdan is leading expert on the psychology of well-being, curiosity, psychological strengths, mental agility, and social relationships. His research has been featured in the Harvard Business Review, New York Times, and Forbes amongst many other publications. In 2010, he received the Distinguished Faculty Member of the Year Award at George Mason University and in 2013, he received the Distinguished Early Career Researcher Award by the American Psychological Association. His latest book, The Art of Insubordination, is for anyone who wants to see more justice, creativity & innovation in the world. He is also the author of Curious?, The Upside of Your Darkside, and Designing Positive Psychology.
Todd’s work is right at the front of my first book Defining You opening with how to keep your mind as open and flexible as possible in order to explore your own story. I approached Todd for permission to include his curiosity inventory and he very generously said yes.
Todd has done some fantastic work from research to writing and his website https://toddkashdan.com/ is really worth exploring.
We discuss ageism and how Todd says that he obsesses over social norms that are dysfunctional. Take for example Silicon Valley rebuffing the idea of giving anyone over the age of 25 a second look for job opportunities. How we don’t have a cultural respect for our elders like in Asian cultures and if we did we that maybe we’d gain wisdom from the people right there in our families rather than having to refer to books. But Todd also raises how ageism is directed both ways – the older generations can dismiss the younger or refuse to learn and be inflexible to changes that are coming through. We need more cross-pollination of intergenerational thinking.
We discuss false information and Todd explains how “the information that we’re first exposed to is rarely right wherever that’s from” yet we tend to take the view of people we perceive as socially attractive, and dismiss those who are not. When coming to a ‘point of view’ Todd encourages us all to stop and ask ourselves these questions:
- What is the evidence for the position that I’m emotionally tied to right now?
- What is the best evidence for the alternative viewpoint?
- Why do I believe the evidence I hold near and dear?
- Why am I dismissing evidence to a counter point?
- What evidence would be required to change my mind?”
By doing this we show intellectual humility, curiosity and perspective taking helping to play our part in making the world a better place to be.
Todd recently published a piece on ‘The 10 principles for having constructive conflict in organisations’. Something we need to do if we’re to ensure diversity. We discuss how important this is in boardrooms to classrooms and Todd emphasizes how important it is to “allow people to disagree even as minorities of one, not because they might be right but just because it allows everyone to see like ‘oh maybe we are prematurely closing on one viewpoint too quickly.’”
When it comes to the learning Todd comments on the strange societal attitude we have to learning. “The notion of living until you're in your 80s and 90s and yet you’re done with formal education after college at the age of around 22. So for the next 40 years you just you wing it and you go into your silo in terms of your own individual searches for books and for information online.” And poses the question to you the listener of “What is the fundamental list of life skills that everyone should learn?” I’d love to know your thoughts.
Tim has been presenting on live weekend TV for over 16 years and with over 1500 hours under his belt. He first became well known for hosting and producing Sky Sports football show Soccer AM over the course of eleven years. The show steadily grew in popularity and enjoyed cult viewing status - much is said to be much down to Tim's “dry wit and sense of humour”. After this he joined BBC Radio 5 Live as the Wednesday night host of a football show. He was on Celebrity Master Chef in 2011, has been a guest presenter on Blue Peter and co-presented the Sunday morning TV programme Something for the Weekend on BBC2. Tim also has a podcast called The Lovejoy Hour (I’ve even been a guest). The link for his podcast is below. You can tune into watch Tim on Channel4 (in the UK) 9.30am-11.30am every Sunday morning.
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-lovejoy-hour/
For more from me follow these links:
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores globally:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
Connect with me at:
Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden
In October 2020 the total world population was 7.81 billion people, and a whopping 4.14 billion of those people were using social media. And the amount of time spent on social media is increasing, with the typical user now spending roughly 4 hours of their day (that’s a quarter of our waking life) on social platforms.
Social media has been described as more addictive than cigarettes and alcohol. Lou and I talk about the tricks of the social media giants trades from ‘intermittent reinforcements’ such as the pull down to refresh feature to the way in which we end up relying on social media for our stored memories (known in the trade as investment). The tech giants really do steal our attention in exchange for commercial gain. We also chat about what you can do to make your own experience more positive. Part of the negative impact of social media on our well-being is that it takes us away from other activities that are essential to our brain health such as sleep and face-to-face social interaction. So the most obvious strategy to combat the impact of social media on your well-being is to give it a break or stop using it. But that’s not the only option, try monitoring how much you use social media and exactly how it’s impacting you. You may be surprised by the patterns that emerge. (For more on techniques for modifying your social media use to make it more healthy check out the Chapter 10 in the second edition of Defining You).
Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via this link and in all good book stores:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
Connect with us/ask us any questions on:
Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Or for Lou
Instagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78
Ahead of his new book on trauma coming out it's the main theme of our discussion with an explanation of how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can reach aspects that are otherwise so hard to treat. Russ explains how when people have experienced trauma and it is deeply held it’s far more difficult to reach and heal through words. Although it’s not impossible, it takes a lot longer and a match with the right therapist. While words can create pain, we don’t experience pain in words. The ACT approach to trauma goes first to the body and emotions which enables a much quicker recovery leading to what is known as Post Traumatic Growth.
Links to Russ's books we refer to:
The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living by Russ Harris
Trauma Focussed ACT A Practitioner's Guide to Working with Mind, Body, and Emotion Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
For more from us follow these links:
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via the link and in all good book stores.
Connect with us/ask us any questions on:
Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Or for Lou
Instagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78
We look at the different aspects relating to heroism talking about how for example psychologist Frank Farley distinguishes two types of hero - "big H" heroism and "small h heroism." How being a hero doesn’t mean being perfect in the same way that being a role-model relates to all of us in some way or another. We even consider whether you can become more heroic and if so what you need to do. Curious – take a listen to this week’s episode.
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
Connect with us/ask us any questions on:
Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Or for Lou
Instagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78
Maddy has appeared in sitcoms for BBC Three, BBC One, ITV and Channel 4. She’s had four sell-out solo comedies at Underbelly, Gilded Balloon, Latitude Festival Main Stage, and the Soho Theatre. Maddy also wrote and starred in her own comedy for BBC Radio 4.
Maddy has also been a speaker for over a decade, she was a panellist for The Guardian for International Women’s Day, for Facebook and AllBright.
She tweets @maddy_anholt.
To buy Maddy’s book go to:
https://www.panmacmillan.com/authors/maddy-anholt/
If you are need help or refuge please go to these links:
UK
https://www.refuge.org.uk
https://www.womensaid.org.uk
USA & Canada
https://www.domesticshelters.org
Australia
https://www.womenscommunityshelters.org.au
New Zealand
https://womensrefuge.org.nz
Well does reframing work? The answer which is so often the way with psychology (and perhaps shouldn't be surprising given how complex we are) is complicated. It can be incredibly helpful but differs from positive thinking. While we all know we can't just think differently at the drop of hat, we often led to believe that we can. In fact, this can be hugely damaging to your mental health. We discuss why, and how you can use cognitive reframing in a way that can work for you.
For more on this go to my first book (specifically the end of chapter 3 and chapter 9 of the 2nd edition) Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
https://amzn.to/2lFMwOr
Connect with us/ask us any questions on:
Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Or for Lou
Instagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78
Perhaps unsurprisingly we discuss all things psychology and relationships. Well not all because there’s soooo much to cover but I try. Rosie talks about spending five years with a girlfriend who was not out to her parents and the invisibility and hurt that entailed, to taking part in an experiment at Essex University’s ‘Sex Lab’ using what she has hilariously described as a ‘techno tampon’ in order to measure her levels of sexual arousal. We also discuss the people who have influenced Rosie’s comic capabilities, her role models and how she is perhaps unintentionally a role model herself – to young gay women yes, but also to anyone who has suffered the pain of a breakup. Do take a look at her latest book, it’s well worth a read.
Check out the book at https://linktr.ee/breakupmonologues
And you can follow Rosie on Twitter @rosiewilby or Instagram @breakupmonologues
For more from Fiona go to:
https://fionamurden.com
While Zal was one of the first employees at DoorDash helping it grow to its value of the $50 billion in 2021, he remains modest, down to earth and incredibly easy company. We talk about life growing up as a child in the San Francisco Bay Area, being there from the beginning of a startup which grew to be a giant, his Zoroastrian heritage, what family means to him and married life in London.
There’s so much more to discuss that he may come back for a second episode.
For more from me (including info on my books) go to:
https://fionamurden.com
Cody Royle is currently the head coach of AFL Team Canada, the men's national program for Australian Rules football. Cody is also an author, international keynote speaker, podcast host, football coach. He currently coaches 13 head coaches from seven team sports in five different countries.
Cody is a standout voice on how pro sports teams create sustained success. His widely-acclaimed debut book, Where Others Won’t, is a go-to guide of easily-implementable leadership strategies that have been quality-tested by some of the world’s most iconic and successful teams.
The sustained success of the book initiated a podcast of the same name, which has reached the top 100 in four countries and maintains a 5-star rating on iTunes.
Most recently, Cody has turned his attention to coach wellbeing and performance with his second book, The Tough Stuff, becoming a bestseller in Australia, Canada, the UK, and the United States.
A native of Melbourne, Australia, Cody resides in Toronto, Canada with his wife.
For more from Cody go to:
https://www.codyroyle.com
For more from me follow these links:
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores globally:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
https://amzn.to/2lFMwOr
Connect with me at:
Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Aidan is the host and founder of the Innovation Show, broadcast globally and on national radio stations in Ireland and Finland. He is author of the bestselling book "Undisruptable: A Mindset of Permanent Reinvention for Individuals, Organisations and Life" which includes a Foreword by Visa founder Dee Hock. “Aidan’s presentation is visual, story rich and full of interesting analogies to bring concepts to life.”
Aidan is a Change Consultant, Board Director and Executive Coach. He works with organisational teams to improve how they engage and innovate. He is a champion for change and has reinvented in his own career after rugby. Aidan worked in transformation for digital, innovation and now culture and leadership.
Aidan played rugby over 100 times for Europe’s most successful teams: Leinster and Toulouse and represented Ireland.
He developed the digital eco-system for Communicorp Media Group, served as Head of Innovation for Ireland's National broadcaster and worked as an innovation consultant for Global company Katawave.
Today he sits on the board of National Broadband Ireland, rolling out connectivity to the remotest parts of Ireland.
He developed and delivers a module on Emerging Technology Trends in Trinity College Business School, ranked 1st in Ireland and in the top 100 globally.
For more from Aidan go to:
https://aidanmccullen.com
For more from me follow these links:
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores globally:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
https://amzn.to/2lFMwOr
Connect with me at:
Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden
For example, we discuss how psychology professor Sonja Lyubomirsky who wrote The How of Happiness, says that about 50% of our baseline happiness level is down to genetics, but income only accounts for 10%. The remaining 40% is about all about the “intentional activities” we undertake, such as giving back to others. We talk about what constitutes and ‘intentional activity’ including prosocial behaviour. We even veer into a conversation about whether altruism is really about being truly good or making ourselves feel better.
So, can money buy happiness or at least make us happy? Well, yes and no. We definitely need enough to cover our basic needs, but finding our purpose, giving back and connecting with others has a hugely powerful impact also.
There's more about finding your purpose (which doesn’t require a penny of money but finding it will help you live a much more fulfilled life) in my book ‘Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential’. This can be found via the link below and in all good bookstores:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book ‘Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.’
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
Connect with us/ask us any questions on:
Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Or for Lou
Instagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78
We also discuss a whole range of other areas of health and fitness including:
- What barriers do people face to getting fit and how can they overcome them?
- What’s the impact of social media on our beliefs about exercise?
While some people are inspired by what they see, many of the exercise influencers create a persona that people are unable to live up to. This can be extremely harmful and demotivating for many and from a psychological standpoint this means we don’t have a realistic context for what we’re trying to achieve for ourselves. Sarah and Lou discuss why it’s so important to understand where we’re are at personally, where our body is at and what our purpose is and keeping these front of mind as far as possible.
- The two types of motivation relating to exercise: intrinsic – which comes from within and extrinsic – comes from someone else motivating you.
The trick of a trainer is to move the extrinsic to motivation to the inside so someone still has it once you’re not there. When you find someone who can do that for you you’re on to a winner. Sarah does this in more than one way but something that stands out is that her clients like her. She treats them as equals and with respect so they don’t have a need to impress or desperately clammer for approval rather are driven by a genuine desire to work with her and even to please her.
About Sarah:
Sarah Gorman is a personal trainer, fitness educator, class instructor who guides people on their health and fitness journey. She qualified as a Pilates instructor and, after moving to the Los Angeles decided to give her focus to the fitness industry and began furthering her repertoire further still. She trained in Boxing and Barre under some influential fitness gurus in LA and from there began to teach her own classes. She’s worked with actors, celebrities prepping for roles and has worked on theatre and film choreography in London and across the USA. She’s also trained American football players, golfers and everyday folk like me in fitness taking you beyond your comfort zone in a way that's not uncomfortable - hard to explain but true.
Sarah says “My drive is to continuously create new and inspirational classes that are at the cutting edge of the fitness industry, with the focus, very much, on energy and fun. My ambition is to bring my love and passion of the fitness industry to the widest audience available to me. I want to inspire people to feel empowered, strong and find a love of movement. Laughter, enjoyment and positive energy are at the heart of what I do.”
Through her amazing mix of experience and application she has created her BlendFit method, providing an eclectic approach to fitness training; blending disciplines to create energetic and fun classes to get people strong, fit and healthy. By combining disciplines she effectively trains your entire body, and mind, enabling you to feel you have given focus to your whole self.
For more from Sarah go to:
https://sarahgorman.fit
@sarahgormanblendfitwww.instagram.com/sarahgormanblendfit
There’s a questionnaire from the Centre for Disease Control (USA) exploring what your barriers to exercise may be and how to overcome them in my book ‘Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential’. This can be found via the link below and in all good bookstores:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book ‘Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.’
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
Connect with us/ask us any questions on:
Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Or for Lou
Instagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78
The New York Times article referred to can be found here:
https://www.nytimes.com/guides/year-of-living-better/how-to-be-more-empathetic
A full copy of the transcript will be on my website shortly:
https://fionamurden.com
Part of this episode was taken from my book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human which can be found here.
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
https://bit.ly/MirrorUSACan
https://bit.ly/2ylrc7H
My other book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
https://amzn.to/2lFMwOr
Connect with me here:
Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden
There is no end point or goal, it’s a process which Scott Eberle editor of the American Journal of Play describes as being somewhere in between a start and an end, an “in between [where] you find surprise, pleasure, understanding – as skill and empathy – and strength of mind, body and spirit.”
For more from us follow these links:
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
https://bit.ly/MirrorUSACan
https://bit.ly/2ylrc7H
My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
https://amzn.to/2lFMwOr
Connect with us/ask us any questions on:
Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Or for Lou
Instagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78
Sarah is a personal trainer, fitness educator, class instructor who guides people on their health and fitness journey. Her career started on stage in physical theatre and dance. When she had her first child she returned to university to study for a second degree, this time in teacher training from where she taught at The Brit School in London for a number of years.
But that’s not all – she had previously qualified as a Pilates instructor and, after moving to the Los Angeles decided to give her focus to the fitness industry and began furthering her repertoire further still. She trained in Boxing and Barre under some influential fitness gurus in LA and from there began to teach her own classes. She’s worked with actors, celebrities prepping for roles and has worked on theatre and film choreography in London and across the USA. She’s also trained American football players, golfers and everyday folk like me in fitness taking you beyond your comfort zone in a way that's not uncomfortable - hard to explain but true.
Sarah says “My drive is to continuously create new and inspirational classes that are at the cutting edge of the fitness industry, with the focus, very much, on energy and fun. My ambition is to bring my love and passion of the fitness industry to the widest audience available to me. I want to inspire people to feel empowered, strong and find a love of movement. Laughter, enjoyment and positive energy are at the heart of what I do.”
Through her amazing mix of experience and application she has created her BlendFit method, providing an eclectic approach to fitness training; blending disciplines to create energetic and fun classes to get people strong, fit and healthy. By combining disciplines she effectively trains your entire body, and mind, enabling you to feel you have given focus to your whole self.
Listen in to hear more about Sarah’s fascinating story and go to
https://sarahgorman.fit
Follow Sarah on Instagram at:
@sarahgormanblendfit www.instagram.com/sarahgormanblendfit
To connect with me go to:
@fiona_murdenwww.instagram.com/fiona_murden
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book ‘Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.’
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
Or my how about my book ‘Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential’ which can be found via the link below and in all good book stores:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
We discuss the psychology of bias, why we have it and some of the impacts. We chat about the biases you may have, what impact they could have and how to really put yourself in the position of what it’s like to have those preferences toward or prejudices against you. We also discuss ways in which companies could approach conscious bias training in order to provide more lasting outcomes on behaviour. And what you can do to help turn down the volume on your own biases.
For more from us follow these links:
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
https://bit.ly/MirrorUSACan
https://bit.ly/2ylrc7H
My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
https://amzn.to/2lFMwOr
Connect with us/ask us any questions on:
Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Or for Lou
Instagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78
To take the implicit bias test follow this link:
https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/
We’re used to the rituals of athletes such as tennis player Nadal, who places his hair behind his ear, pulls his nose and adjusts his shorts while bouncing the ball before every point. People have accused him of using this as a way to break the momentum of his opponents. But Nadal says that these routines are for his psychological benefits. And the research would suggest that this is true, for many of us, not just athletes. Rituals give us a sense of control when we’re facing uncertainty. Research by Harvard psychologists Francesca Gino and Michael I. Norton suggest that engaging in rituals mitigates grief caused by both life-changing losses (e.g. such as the death of a loved one) through to the more mundane ones (e.g. losing a lottery).
For more from us follow these links:
My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
https://amzn.to/2lFMwOr
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
https://bit.ly/MirrorUSACan
https://bit.ly/2ylrc7H
Connect with us/ask us any questions on:
Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Or for Lou
Instagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78
Read more about Why Rituals Work
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-rituals-work/
According to psychologist Dr Jeffrey Arnett (whose work I also refer to in Defining You) these three areas define it:
-
Taking responsibility for yourself which "generally means accepting the consequences of your actions without expecting anyone else...to protect you from those consequences."
-
Making independent decisions - "It's finding out who you are and how you fit into the world, and there is a range of decisions that go into that."
-
Having financial independence
There's a period between 18 and 29 that Arnett described as Emerging Adulthood which has since been backed by neuroscientific research showing our brain continues to develop until our late 20s. For some though being an adult never seems to come. Lou and I discuss this and much more too in this week's episode of Dot to Dot.
For more from us follow these links:
My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
https://amzn.to/2lFMwOr
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
https://bit.ly/MirrorUSACan
https://bit.ly/2ylrc7H
Connect with us/ask us any questions on:
Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Or for Lou
Instagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78
Thank you to Giles Paley-Phillips for the production of this episode.
Insider article referred to in this episode: https://www.businessinsider.com/the-3-things-that-make-you-an-adult-2016-1?r=US&IR=T
George caught my attention on twitter with his brilliant tweets (see below for his handle). Every day he posts so many questions – all so thought provoking that I often don’t even answer them - I'm just left pondering. George who lives in Philadelphia USA has a brain that won’t stop whirring which is where all of these fabulous, thought provoking posts come from. He explains how he started off just posting a few and began to love the positive and interesting comments and discussion that they provoked, bringing people together from all over the world.
More about George - in his own words, ‘there are not enough books on sh*t disturbers. Hence, Dr. Styles endeavours to write on this topic, which sits next to his heart. "Somebody has to go against the grain... ...what would the world look like without a 2nd opinion?" he says.
Despite his propensity for foolery and antics, he was able to get it together and obtain his PhD in Biochemistry in 2016. He is also an avid composer of music, and is a fan of a wide variety of music genres.’
To follow George go to:
https://twitter.com/geostylegeo
For more from me follow these links:
My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
https://amzn.to/2lFMwOr
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
https://bit.ly/MirrorUSACan
https://bit.ly/2ylrc7H
Connect with me on:
Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden
We discuss the parallels between Olympic preparation and organisational leadership – but how in many ways organisations often know what to do but don’t ‘walk the talk’ in the way the teams who surround athletes do. Lou explains why it’s never a comfortable experience watching an athlete you’ve trained, why athletes have experienced and understood more things about themselves leading up to a Covid Olympics than any other and why we are set to see some incredible performances.
Connect with us/ask us any questions on:
Instagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78
Or for Fi:
Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden
In the UK "we look back on the 2012 Olympic Games through gold-tinted glasses, 'Super Saturday' and an inspiring celebration of British athletics uniting the country. For a then 20-year-old Green, the suffocation of 80,000 fans and personal expectations became the starter pistol to understanding and dealing with the mental health struggles he had always known were there.”
"If one thing got past my armour, I couldn't manage it because I'd say 'I'm not meant to feel this way because I'm meant to be a superstar, I'm meant to be this robot'. That's when I'd really struggle and when I'd break down.”
"As soon as I accepted that I'm a human being and human beings feel things, as soon as I said 'OK, I can feel this way, I'm going to sit with it, embrace and accept it', it kind of took the power away from them. A big part for me that probably saved my life was accepting and embracing vulnerability,"
We talk about the pressures put on athletes across all disciplines, how it can feel like you’re not seen or supported until you’re contender for a medal, and once you’re not you’re just as quickly forgotten. Jack now coaches athletes, including Tokyo-bound Italian sprinter Gloria Hooper. He explains how he uses a different approach with every person, working hard to understand not just their physical needs but how they interact with their psychological make-up. He also held the position of Head of Wellbeing at BBC Studios before joining Champion Health UK as head of Performance, taking and using his own learnings to help others.
“My purpose is to help as many people be the best version of themselves because that is truly what high performance is all about. My philosophy is a very simple one: a happy athlete is a fast athlete. And I use this philosophy in all of my well-being work.”
For more on Jack:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Green_(hurdler)
For more from us follow these links:
My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
https://amzn.to/2lFMwOr
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
https://bit.ly/MirrorUSACan
https://bit.ly/2ylrc7H
Connect with us/ask us any questions on:
Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Or for Lou
Instagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78
On this episode among other things we explore the importance mentors and role-models and how one small comment at the right or wrong time can send a young person's life off in a completely different direction.
We also discuss Christine's upbringing and how she chose not to go to Oxford or Cambridge despite being destined - not through her upbringing - but her academic capability to go there. She decided it wasn't what she wanted and followed her interests instead of being drawn into the expectations of those heralded institutions. I didn't know until we did this podcast that she has 8 A levels including the sciences. And yet she is open to hearing how other people view the world, listening to their take and perspective and offering her guidance.
Christine Cross is a Chair, Independent Non Exec Director, Business Advisor and Mentor.
She holds Non-Executive Directorships with Coca Cola European Partners plc; Hilton food group plc; Clipper Logistics Plc and Zooplus AG and acts as Advisor to the Board of a number of plc, private equity and private companies . She has served as NED on the Board of Next plc; Woolworths Limited (Australia); Sobeys (Ca) plc; Plantasgen (Nor); Sonae plc (Portugal); Brambles plc (Australia); Kathmandu plc (New Zealand); Fenwick Ltd (UK): Fairmont Hotels Group; Premier Foods and Taylor Wimpey. She was Chief Retail Advisor to PWC for 5 years.
She particularly enjoys working with small growth businesses too and Chairs Oddbox, a sustainable produce business growing fast in the Uk; acts as Advisor to My First Years; plus devotes time to being a Fellow at the RAU Enterprise Unit.
Prior to ‘going plural’ Chris had a 15 year Executive career at Tesco having carried out a number of roles at Director Level.
Latterly, as Group Business Development Director, she was involved in a programme of acquisitions. Prior to this her primary focus at Tesco was the establishment of a global direct sourcing operation and the leadership of Tesco’s UK and International clothing business. She was also instrumental in developing and launching the Tesco private label product range. Recruitment to Tesco was from a successful career in academia as Principal Lecturer and Course Director at Bath and Edinburgh Universities.
For more from Fiona follow these links:
My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
https://amzn.to/2lFMwOr
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
https://bit.ly/MirrorUSACan
https://bit.ly/2ylrc7H
Connect with me on:
Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden
We chat about how it’s interesting that now that we have research around psychological theory - whether it's through neuroscience or more applied research studies - we're seeing that many of these ancient approaches work.
But remember that every technique will not work for everybody - so definitely give them a try, practice them with an open mind and see what works for you. There will be something that does but you have to try to be able to know for sure. Here’s a summary of the 8 rules:
1) It’s not events that cause us suffering, but our opinion about events.
2) Our opinions are often unconscious, but we can bring them to consciousness by asking ourselves questions.
3) We can’t control everything that happens to us, but we can control how we react.
4) Choose your perspective wisely.
5) Habits are powerful.
6) Fieldwork is vital.
7) Virtue is sufficient for happiness.
8) We have ethical obligations to our community.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/creating-in-flow/201311/8-ancient-rules-life-we-should-still-follow
For more from us follow these links:
My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
https://amzn.to/2lFMwOr
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
https://bit.ly/MirrorUSACan
https://bit.ly/2ylrc7H
Connect with us/ask us any questions on:
Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Or for Lou
Instagram:www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78
From Utah to LA, a band member to a Silicon Valley founder, a return to Utah and becoming an extraordinary guide to leaders on public speaking and beyond John has had and continues to have such an interesting journey. This week I make a few bad jokes about my height and being the pinnacle of John's career (if you know me, you also know this is the last thing I'd ever think but it I worry it may get lost in the English sarcasm). Unlike me John tells some genuinely funny stories and even shares his brilliant impression of Snoop Doggie Dog.
John quotes back something he was told years ago - "John if you get up on stage and you have your attention on yourself then you have your attention on a minor ball of petty concerns that have no real interest to anyone but you. However you get up onstage and you have your attention on your audience and the difference that you're going to make for them and the difference they are going to make with the people in their lives because of it well now you have your attention on something worth thinking about."
We chat about a wonderful guy who John works with and I've got to know a little - a Senator who has flipped his belief system following a number of years helping out in a juvenile detention centre. Howard is now deeply passionate about enabling kids from all backgrounds with the skills to reach reading age before they come into school, helping those who are disadvantaged to start on a more even playing field. For more on this amazing initiative go to:
https://www.waterford.org
John relays the experience of not only training astronauts at NASA but also getting a 40 min phone call from space and his time spent helping Dolph Lundgren. I'm so chuffed to have met John and I'm pretty sure you'll enjoy him too.
For John's book go to:
https://www.amazon.com or https://www.amazon.co.uk
And for more about him:
https://executivespeakingsuccess.com
For my book which we refer to a couple of times go to:
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
https://bit.ly/MirrorUSACan
https://bit.ly/2ylrc7H
And for my other book:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
https://amzn.to/2lFMwOr
Connect with me on:
Instagram:www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter:https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook:https://facebook.com/fionamurden
For more from us follow these links:
My book Defining You - How to Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential can be found at via these links and in all good book stores:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
https://amzn.to/2lFMwOr
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human available at the links below and in all good book stores.
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
https://bit.ly/MirrorUSACan
https://bit.ly/2ylrc7H
Follow us/ask us any questions on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook: https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Or for Lou
Instagram: www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter: https://twitter.com/louisejones78
We talk about Helen's own squiggly career which you can hear more about in her TEDx which she recorded in In January 2021 with Sarah. Both Helen and Sarah are living proof of the title of their talk ‘Why squiggly careers are better for everyone’ and inspiring in their message. Prior to Amazing If she held leadership roles for Microsoft, Virgin and BP and was awarded the FT & 30% Club’s Women in Leadership MBA Scholarship. Before making her way back to university friend Sarah to start up their incredibly successful business. She is mum to Henry and Madeleine and lives with her husband in Buckinghamshire. Helen also works as a Trustee for Working Families, a UK charity with a mission to support families and carers with their work and life commitments. You can find her on Instagram @amazingif.
As for me – the second edition to my book Defining You – Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential is now out:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
And if you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
https://bit.ly/MirrorUSACan
https://bit.ly/2ylrc7H
You can find me on:
My website: https://fionamurden.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fionamurden/
Lou uses the example of the physical versus the psychological in sport. When an athlete goes to a physiotherapist who doesn’t help them with a physical problem they move on to see another physiotherapist, but when they meet a psychologist that they doesn’t click with they’re likely to give up on psychology. This is common to how we all approach our physical versus our psychological health, struggling to understand how to navigate the complexities of our mind and behaviour. We scratch the surface on this complex topic and hopefully provide some useful tips for anyone not knowing where to start.
Therapists may be called:
Psychotherapist
Counsellor
Counselling Psychologist
Clinical Psychologist
(for more on the types of therapist go to https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk and for more about the qualifications go to the bottom).
Within these practitioners may use different approaches e.g
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
Humanistic – which includes Gestalt, Existential and client-centered therapy
Psycho-dynamic or psycho-analytic
Hypnotherapy
(for more on the types of therapy go to https://nationalcounsellingsociety.org/counselling-directory/types-of-therapy)
A good site for searching for people in your area in the UK:
(be sure to check their years of experience and their professional qualifications)
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/counselling
And in other countries including the USA, Canada, Australia and Sweden
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/counsellors
Reputed Professional Bodies (in the UK):
British Psychological Society (BPS)
https://www.bps.org.uk/public/find-psychologist
Health & Care Professions Council (HCPC)
https://www.hcpc-uk.org
British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP)
https://www.bacp.co.uk
National Counselling Society (NCS)
https://nationalcounsellingsociety.org
Association for Child & Adolescent Mental Health (ACAMH)
https://www.acamh.org
Wording for qualifications taken from Psychology Today:
CPsychol - British Psychological Society - Chartered Member which is the highest distinction awarded to members of the British Psychological Society. A chartered member has postgraduate training, teaching experience and has completed psychology research to the doctoral level.
MSc - Master of Science degrees are typically in science or technology. Many mental health professionals coming from a social sciences background earn a master of science degree.
MBPsS – graduate members of the British Psychological Society who have completed an accredited undergraduate degree with high marks and have been admitted as members to the society.
N.B. This on its own does not mean someone will have completed any training in how to treat people.
HPCP Clin Psych - Health & Care Professions Council Clinical Psychologist. The HCPC regulates practitioner psychologists in the UK. A clinical psychologist determines a treatment programme addressing behavioural needs of their clients based on close collaboration with other healthcare providers.
DCounsPsych - Doctorate in Counselling Psychology - a professional degree preparing graduates for practice in counselling psychology
PsychD - Doctor of Psychology - a professional degree preparing graduates for practice in clinical psychology
Ginny is a neuroscience expert and science communicator. She read Natural Sciences at Cambridge, but her main passion and expertise is in psychology and neuroscience, so she focuses on helping kids and adults understand our complex minds. Ginny says that “Science is fun and fascinating and ever changing, and I want to help everyone share in the joy of curiosity and exploration.”
Some of the things that Ginny said in this week’s chat that stood out for me:
“I find it amazing how much we still don’t understand about this thing that controls everything we do”
“Science can come across as something that’s finished – it’s this body of facts that we know about the world and I think telling kids and adults that there’s so much more to be discovered can be really inspiring.”
“It’s actually behavioural change that can have a bigger impact on our lives at the moment than neuro science but it feels like neuroscience is the sexier option so anyone who is selling something tends always badge it as neuroscience. And balance your hormones, take this supplement, we’re going to retrain your brain. Just take anything that makes big claims on neuroscience needs to have big evidence and a lot of the time if they’re trying to sell you something there’s not.”
The second edition to my award winning book Defining You – Build Your Unique Personal Profile and Unlock Your True Potential is now out:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
https://bit.ly/MirrorUSACan
https://bit.ly/2ylrc7H
Follow on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook: https://facebook.com/fionamurden
And for Ginny:
ginnysmithscience.com
Socials: @GinnySmithSci
braintasticscience.com
Socials: @BraintasticSci
Amazon Book link: Overloaded: How Every Aspect of Your Life is Influenced by Your Brain Chemicals: Amazon.co.uk: Smith, Ginny: Books
Links to non-amazon shops here: www.ginnysmithscience.com/overloaded
We explore the psychological and physiological need for hugs, how hard it has been for many people not being able to hug loved ones during lockdown, the importance of touch from birth to old age and our fundamental need for touch as a means of connection.
To pre-order the second edition of my book Defining You (out on 27th May in UK, Sept rest of world) go to:
https://bit.ly/DefiningYou2ndEd
Follow us/ask us any questions on:
www.fionamurden.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook: https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Or for Lou
Instagram: www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter: https://twitter.com/louisejones78
Grace Lindsay is a computational neuroscientist currently based at University College London. She completed her PhD at the Centre for Theoretical Neuroscience at Columbia University, where her research focused on building mathematical models of how the brain controls its own sensory processing. Before that, she earned a bachelor’s degree in Neuroscience from the University of Pittsburgh and received a research fellowship to study at the Bernstein Center for Computational Neuroscience in Freiburg, Germany. She was awarded a Google PhD Fellowship in Computational Neuroscience in 2016.
To find out more about Grace, her book and her work click on the following link:
tinyurl.com/h9dn4bw7
To find out more about me, my books and my work go to:
www.fionamurden.com
As Lou says "Some might say 'to do lists' was a boring subject but actually the more you delve into it the more interesting and fascinating it gets because they have so many benefits. Which include increased productivity, increased confidence, greater focus, being more effective because you're writing things down and warming up your brain to actually achieve them, motivation.'
We discuss the way we use 'to do lists', individual differences, what the research tells us and how to use 'to do lists' optimally. We explore whether lists are helpful when it comes to longer ranger creative processes like writing a book, how they can be used to assist difficult conversations, using them as a mechanism to create reflective space, a reminder to look after health, well-being and relationships or simply remembering the things you need to get done.
Do you write a 'to do list'? We'd love to know.
For Fiona's books - Defining You go to:
http://bit.ly/DefiningYou
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into Fiona's more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
Follow us/ask us any questions on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook: https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Or for Lou
Instagram: www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter: https://twitter.com/louisejones78
Vanessa went from a high octane career as a TV producer to becoming blind and paralyzed overnight. Her journey back to health resulted in her pulling on mental resources she’d learnt previously such as techniques from hypno-birthing. Demonstrating the power of psychology in action - since then she’s been on a mission to understand more about the impact of meditation on the mind. Vanessa has worked with Cambridge University on ground breaking projects even venturing into the world of psychedelics. To hear more about Vanessa’s incredible journey tune in to this week’s episode of the Dot to Dot podcast.
Author, TEDx speaker & meditation advocate, Vanessa Potter used the trauma of losing her sight following a rare illness as an extraordinary visual rebirth. She became curious to understand the mechanics of her brain embarking upon a ‘meditation road trip’ exploring 10 ways to train her mind as neuroscientists recorded her brain activity. Her book, Finding My Right Mind: One Woman’s Experiment to put Meditation to the Test publishes on 29th April 2021.
More info:
About my new digital courses go to: https://fionamurden.com/defining-you-digital-course/
For my books go to:
Mirror Thinking How Role Models Make Us Human go to:
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
For my book Defining You How to Profile Yourself to Unlock Your Full Potential
UK: https://amzn.to/30wiMEy
USA: http://bit.ly/DefiningYouPaperbackUSA
Australia: http://bit.ly/DefiningYouAus
Russ Harris is a doctor, therapist, father, trainer of health professionals, and author of The Happiness Trap (plus eight other books).
He started his career as a doctor back in 1989, and soon discovered that most of his patients were expressing a significant degree of dissatisfaction in life; most of what was wrong was psychologically based. He strongly related to their struggles, because he was experiencing something similar myself.
Despite the fact that I had a successful career with a dream job, good income and high status, he was depressed, anxious, and overweight. He felt his life lacked a sense of meaning and purpose, and at times was even suicidal.
He just couldn’t understand why he felt this way. He had achieved all the goals that society says tells us will make us feel happy. But it wasn’t working. And he wanted to know why. One thing was for sure, simplistic stories that it was all due to an unhappy childhood or too much negative thinking or a chemical imbalance in my brain were definitely not the answer.
So he set off on a journey to find out a) what makes people unhappy, and b) far more importantly, what creates genuine and lasting happiness. He looked first to psychiatry - a natural stepping stone from medicine and then psychology but not wanting to study for another 5 years he continued to explore off his own back. And in his own words that journey took him down a lot of blind alleys and dead ends. But eventually, it led him to ACT – Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.
The moment he discovered this therapy, he fell deeply in love with it. It had a huge and profound impact on his life. Almost instantly, he began to develop a deep sense of purpose and meaning.
He found how to enrich and enhance his life, and transform the way he dealt with painful thoughts and feelings. He built a stronger connection with himself and others, which led him to feel that sense of warmth, closeness, belonging he’d been searching for all those years.
Links to the books referred to:
The Happiness Trap: Stop Struggling, Start Living by Russ Harris
The Reality Slap 2nd Edition: How to survive and thrive when life hits hard by Russ Harris
Defining You How to Profile Yourself and Unlock Your Full Potential by Fiona Murden https://amzn.to/2QbFlbh
Man’s Search for Meaning Man's Search For Meaning: The classic tribute to hope from the Holocaust by Vicktor E Frankl
Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness meditation for everyday life by Jon Kabat-Zinn
Mirror Thinking - How Role Models Make Us Human by Fiona Murden
https://bit.ly/mirrorthink
Sports psychologist Lou Jones and I discuss how fighting with emotions just makes them worse. How it doesn't feel natural to just leave things because we're taught to 'fix things' in the outside world all of the time, but it's not the best way to deal with emotions. We will always have emotions, because it's part of being human and that's how we work so it's a life long journey to learn how we can manage those in our world in order to achieve the things we want to. We're not always going to get it right - it's about learning as we go and constantly noticing that we're on this journey.
Lou says 'I really enjoy learning about myself, it helps me to have a more satisfying life.' I do too but it's taken a long time, even as a psychologist, to realise that's what I needed to do. How about you?
To learn more about 'being you' sign up to the Defining You digital course which comes out in May with the release of the 2nd edition of the book. To add your name to the wait list please contact lorna.walls@aroka.co.uk
Here are some things that people who went on the pilot said:
"The Defining You course made me think about past experiences (childhood, university and early career) in a new, more profound way. It has made me reconsider scenarios from my past and has helped me see them for what they were and how they shaped my future even into my life today. For me, it has been genuinely revelatory and I really didn't want the course to end. I am still a work in progress but feel better equipped to look at the past, present and future."
“A brilliant and thought-provoking course and a great introduction to personal reflection and development. The group coaching sessions were welcoming, non-invasive and entirely inspirational. From a practical point of view, the learning format worked perfectly for me. The book is great for reference and the online material is broken down into really digestible and engaging videos and exercises. At no point did I feel under pressure to have completed the exercises or watch the material! It really was a case of “go at your own pace and have fun with it”. If you’re at a point in your life where you want to understand “how did I get here? And where do I go next?” I really recommend this programme.”
"It pushed me out of comfort zone and I started to feel more confident in fully participating towards the end. It has been a cathartic process because I started not to worry about what everyone else was thinking, and more about myself – not something that has ever come naturally to me. For the first time in 59 years I think I have become far more self aware and accepting of myself but also very encouraged there is still time for development!"
This week Lou and I speak about how imagery and visualisation are used in sport and other areas of performance such as leadership in order to work toward success. How it's not just magic but based on science and how you can do it for yourself in your own life
We discuss how this has applied to my work in profiling and analysing people, helping me to get clearer and more accurate judgements. And how it applies to Lou’s work in sport. Lou explains that although athletes want to do an analysis immediately after an event, leaving it a) prevents the emotional response to their performance detracting from what they may learn and b) gives the brain time to process, understand and explore it. As a result, mulling it over provides the space to provide a far more powerful experience for that athlete.
We also talk about how it helps us all in everyday life. And how we need to give ourselves permission to mull things over.
For updates, news and info sign up to my newsletter at:
https://fionamurden.com/contact/
Or for Lou
Instagram: www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78
This week I talk to Radha about her journey including the importance of family, studying at Cambridge and Imperial, working as a hospital doctor, a GP, teaching medical students AND everything covered below. Radha shares a bit about her own level of self-awareness, learning what she likes and doesn't like and how to continually use that to navigate a healthy and fulfilling life.
Radha has appeared as the medical reporter for The Sex Education Show Ch4 and Make My Body Younger BBC Three. She has been the resident GP for the daytime show Live with Gabby on CH5 and for Newsround CBBC. She has also reported on ITV’s This Morning, BBC Breakfast, ITV Tonight, Channel 5 News and ITN News.
Working across all platforms Dr Radha contributes to online projects including BBC Bitesize, BBC Teach, BBC Own It, BBC Advice Pages and BBC Learning. She has also been broadcast on BBC Radio1’s daytime show, BBC Radio 4 Woman’s Hour, BBC Radio 2, BBC Radio 5 Live, BBC Asian Network, LBC and Radio 1’s Newsbeat.
Currently writing for Top of the Pops magazine, Radha has been a columnist for the i newspaper, Woman’s Own & MSN Lifestyle. She has written for Female First and Bliss magazine. She has also contributed to multiple books supporting young people & parents. She has a particular interest in young people’s health & supporting parents, and has worked on campaigns with BBC Children in Need, Public Health England, MIND, British Heart Foundation, JDRF, The Mix and the NHS Youth Forum. She has spoken at many events, including the NHS Health & Care Innovation Expo, at Camp Bestival & for the BBC Children in Need Mental Health Panel Discussion.
Even if you think you’re already self-aware it’s still something that need revisiting and refreshing. It’s worth looking at your personal narrative to think through who you are, what your preferences are and what’s happening in your world. This week Lou and I talk about exploring your personal narrative, passions and strengths and making sure that they are part of who you are on a daily basis. We also how talk about how discussing these things out loud makes a world of difference in terms of how we understand them.
We cover how your values, meaning and purpose all underpin and add to your self-awareness. And how we can lose sight of this when we become focussed on outcome orientated processes such as bonuses at work, projects we need to complete or people we’re trying to impress. How they stop us from doing what’s important to us as a person, what gives us the energy and passion to thrive in life.
For updates, news and info sign up to my newsletter at:
https://fionamurden.com/contact/
Or for Lou
Instagram: www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78
We talk about asking for feedback and how to do it in a way that is constructive and doesn’t make you or the person you’re asking feel awkward. That celebrating small successes through giving people feedback is really important to let them know how they’re doing and to keep them motivated. We discuss the timing of giving feedback - when should you give it for optimum impact?
We also discuss other ways of collecting data about yourself and how you’re doing like video analysis, audio analysis or simply observing how people are responding to you and your mood. And finally we touch on fixed and growth mindset and how that matters both in terms of receiving feedback but also with regard to who is giving it to you and what you make of the information.
For updates, news and info sign up to my newsletter at:
https://fionamurden.com/contact/
Or for Lou
Instagram: www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter:https://twitter.com/louisejones78
Some of the topics we explore this week:
How awareness is the basis for everything, followed by attention and motivation. Juna talks about neuroplasticity – that you can change your brain and knowing this immediately brings up your levels of attention of what you can change about yourself. That motivation has a neurochemical component to it which increases your ability to change the neuronal connections in your brain. And that knowing all of this gives people hope Juna says “when you know that something is possible you open your brain up to all these new ways of working and that’s really what learning is about – learning changes your brain.”
Dr. Juna Bobby, is a mom of two amazing kids and a physician specializing in Mind-Body Medicine.
Juna's passion is to guide youth, at critical times in their brain development, through the science-backed skills of being happy, staying well, and having that extra edge. She founded MindBodySpace LLC to coach high potential teens, students of all ages, parents, and educators.
She is a faculty member at The Juilliard School PC in Manhattan, teaching The Science of Resilience Program. She is also a frequent guest lecturer at Manhattan School of Music. For four years, she created the Wellness program and Exam Performance Workshops at NYU School of Medicine and Columbia Law School. She holds workshops at many schools and organizations, in addition to coaching private students.
Juna is a board-certified graduate of the NYU School of Medicine, where she also completed her residency and fellowship training. She has extensive training in mind-body practices including, completing a program at the Benson Henry Institute at Massachusetts General Hospital, Harvard Medical School, to become a Certified Practitioner for Stress Management and Resiliency.
Connect with Juna:
Juna Bobby M.D. - Mind-Body Medicine
Listen: Rx Chill Pill Podcast: Meditate Your Brain to Resilience
Email: podcast@mindbodyspace.com
• with questions for Juna and Guests for Q&A Thursdays
• guest or topic you want to suggest
Stressed? Need to Focus?
Meditate with Juna over at Juna Bobby MD on Insight Timer
CONNECT WITH JUNA: Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | LinkedIn
Or to connect with Fiona go to: www.fionamurden.com
We discuss the fact that we are thrown so many words of advice on how to think, feel and approach things but in order to really optimise how they help us we need to understand the ‘why’. Lou says "If you’re doing something for some random reason, even if it’s helped you, you may not ever return to it again. But if you see it within the bigger picture it’s another matter entirely."
That you don’t need to be a neuroscientist to understand the basic structure of the brain in a way that’s helpful (with a word of warning – do take your advice from people who actually know what they’re talking about). We explore Dr. Russ Harris’s approach and talk about how to go about knowing more about the functioning of the brain. I love that Harris describes our brain as a ‘don’t get killed device.’
That one of the biggest misconceptions about the brain is that we can control our thoughts and what we’re feeling - but we can’t. Without even realising it we are brought up to believe that we can – and should be able to control our thoughts and feelings e.g. don’t cry, pull yourself together, don’t be scared. There are some things we can control but this requires a nuanced understanding.
Distinguishing between which of the stories that your brain tells you on a continual loop are actually helpful and which to disregard. As Harris says our thoughts are "like a radio that never stops broadcasting" – so it’s good to be able to distinguish between different types.
Also learning that thoughts and feelings are a bit like songs you don’t like on the radio. It’s best to accept that the song you don’t like will pass and that the best thing to do in the meantime is concentrate on what you’re doing. Before you know it music you like will be back on again. That rather than putting effort into fighting our thoughts and emotions, learning how to observe them and let them go is far more constructive.
That while we all share the same brain structure (meaning evidence based techniques will be most helpful), you are still uniquely you. In Lou’s words “there has never been a research study on you, your brain and how you function in each of the contexts in your world.” So finding out what really works for you requires a bit of a bit of trial and error, explored in a non-judgemental way.
That we use the neocortex, the more advanced part of our brain, to try and ‘fix’ the limbic system and that just doesn’t work. Instead it gets us tied in knots.
But that ultimately it's all OK. If you know what to do and how to do it there are a load of strategies that really help. The most simple being just naming emotions (that evidence shows move us from the limbic system to the neocortex allowing us to take a step back), journaling and over the longer term building the capabilities taught in fantastic apps such as headspace.
For updates, news and info sign up to my newsletter at:
https://fionamurden.com/contact/
Or for Lou
Instagram: www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter: https://twitter.com/louisejones78
Russ Harris’s books which are brilliant resources are as follows:
The Happiness Trap – How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
The Confidence Gap – From Fear to Freedom
The Reality Slap – How to Survive and Thrive When Life Hits Hard
We discuss how self-awareness is a business imperative from a financial standpoint. Companies who have a higher number of self-aware people are more financially successful and have better returns. Leaders who are self-aware are more effective and promotable. Leaders who are not self-aware are 600 times more likely to derail. Also how to become more self-aware and the fact that while it does take time getting their doesn’t have to be a painful slog.
We also explore how Tasha got to where she is today as the principal of The Eurich Group, a boutique executive development firm that helps companies— from start-ups to the Fortune 100—succeed by improving the effectiveness of their leaders and teams. Dr. Eurich has worked directly with tens of thousands of leaders and spoken live to hundreds of thousands more, on every continent but Antarctica. Her clients include Google, Salesforce, the NBA, IBM, Walmart, and the White House Leadership Development Program.
Dr. Eurich’s first book, Bankable Leadership, debuted at #8 on The New York Times bestseller list in 2013. Her latest book, Insight, explores the connection between self-awareness and success. Brené Brown selected Insight as one of her Leadership / Business books, and famed Wharton professor Adam Grant calls it one of the three books he recommends most often.
Dr. Eurich contributes to Harvard Business Review, and her work has been featured in outlets like The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, Fast Company, and Forbes. Her TEDx talks have been viewed more than seven million times.
For more on Tasha please go to
https://thefuturereadyleader.com/.
And for me
www.fionamurden.com where you can sign up to my newsletter for tips, tools and updates on the latest podcast episodes.
Some of the things we talk about. Why it’s something that most of us think we have (95% of people according to the research by the fabulous Dr. Tasha Eurich who is next week’s guest) but few of us really do (10-15% of people). Why it’s critical to performance and so many other areas of life making you both healthier and more effective.
Why it isn’t just something you can put on your to do list and how Covid is getting in the way of the moments we do normally have to reflect. We talk about how self-aware leaders are, elite athletes and celebrities and what it means to each of them. Why it’s hard to really explore on your own and how a mentor can help.
For more tips and tools sign up to my newsletter atwww.fionamurden.com
Find Lou at
Instagram: www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter: https://twitter.com/louisejones78
Nudges to make better decisions but who for - whether we are manipulating people to do things that aren’t good for them or that are, there are moral implications behind nudges and behavioural norms. We also discuss interesting things like recycling being more of a problem because people recycle too much of the wrong thing and what to do about it, how social media has influenced movements like me too and making people feel like they’re living as if they were a brand. Erez has so many interesting things to share. If you’re interested in practical applications and staying up to date with the ACT’s activities follow on Facebook and Twitter.
Or can subscribe to their newsletter on the role of hidden incentives in shaping our sense of rights, aesthetics, altruism, and ethics.
And if you’re interested in collaborating with ACT? Please email them describing yourself, your organization, and the problem you are trying to solve.
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my most recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
https://bit.ly/MirrorUSACan
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
Follow on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook: https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Burnout has three key dimensions: exhaustion, cynicism and a decline in professional efficacy – which in English means having reduced productivity.
Exhaustion – worn out, lost energy, depleted, debilitated and fatigued.
Cynicism – negative attitude towards others, becoming irritable and withdrawn.
Reduced productivity – low morale, decreased capability and an inability to cope.
“Basically, workers who are experiencing burnout are overwhelmed, unable to cope, and unmotivated, and they display negative attitudes and poor performance.”
What should you do about it? One paper written specifically for those at the brunt of burnout (i.e. healthcare workers) offers some useful quick tools, aka “micro-practices.”
Taking a moment to name your emotions (especially challenging emotions). For example, when I notice that I am feeling upset, is it anger? Concern? Exhaustion? This aids self- awareness and self-management.
This “name it to tame it” practice as Dr Dan Siegel calls it is backed by fMRI research. Simply the process of naming shifts brain activity from the amygdala (the emotional centre of the brain) to the more advanced thinking area of the brain. This means that it can help bring a sense of calm. For a list of words to use in this practice try the following link:
https://www.healthline.com/health/list-of-emotions
Another evidence-based technique is the simple act of writing down three things that you’re grateful for down several times a week.
If you work in a group setting then showing gratitude in ways such as starting meetings by giving kudos for recent efforts, can also help stimulate positive emotions and positive relationships.
Hand hygiene—now a constant routine — is an opportunity for self- awareness and self-management. A chance to focus on your breath, centre your mind and body, and visualize the kind of presence, empathy, and calmness one would like to bring to the next person you interact with. It’s also an opportunity to self-connect—Am I well hydrated? Hungry? Carrying an unreasonable emotional vestige from the last news update?
Opportunities to engage in this type of mindfulness micro-practice are available in a myriad of other situations such as waiting at a red light, boiling the kettle or brushing your teeth.
Making use of social support found within both the workplace and home (family, friends, neighbours) is also a very effective and incredibly important practice.
For longer term solutions other approaches include eating more nutritious food, engaging in regular exercise building your self-awareness and understanding, time management, cognitive restructuring, relaxation strategies – such as meditation, biofeedback, naps and a longer night’s sleep and changes in work patterns - working less, taking more breaks, avoiding overtime work, and taking more time off or more holiday.
For more tips and tools sign up to my newsletter at www.fionamurden.com
Follow us/ask us any questions on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook: https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Or for Lou
Instagram: www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter: https://twitter.com/louisejones78
References:
Fessell, D., & Cherniss, C. (2020). Coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) and beyond: micropractices for burnout prevention and emotional wellness.Journal of the American College of Radiology,17(6), 746-748.
Maslach, C. (2017). Finding solutions to the problem of burnout. Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research, 69(2), 143.
This episode is packed full of quotes that I love from Shelley such as “It’s not going to fix itself, we have to actively close one door and open another. If we keep talking about things and admiring the problems we will continuously widen the gaps.”
We discuss the zig zag path that got Shelley to where she is today. The things that made her who she is, her parents who she describes as incredible role models. From a father, the adventurer who encouraged Shelley and her sisters to live in the moment and experience everyday with wonder and curiosity. To a mother who taught all of the girls to believe in themselves and to have confidence. Shelley describes her upbringing as being ‘remarkable’ and all about ‘values’. The result of which being she lives her life with a no regret policy to life – no should of, would of, could of. Believing in saying yes or no to things but never saying you don’t care about something. “Do everything you do with purpose and passion.”
Zalis is an admired speaker and member of the Washington Speakers Bureau. She is a skilled moderator who has interviewed influencers such as Katie Couric, Halle Berry, Sheryl Sandberg, Gabrielle Union, and Arianna Huffington on the subject of equality and leadership. Zalis authors a Forbes column that mentors women in the “messy middle” and helps them reach the next level in their careers. She is co-founder of #SeeHer, a movement led by the Association of National Advertisers (ANA) to increase the percentage of accurate portrayals of women and girls in advertising and media, and sits on the board of directors for MAKERS and ColorComm.
For more about the Female Quotient and the amazing work they do go to:
https://www.thefemalequotient.com
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my most recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
https://bit.ly/MirrorUSACan
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
Or my award winning first book Defining You – How to Profile Yourself and Unlock Your Full Potential
https://amzn.to/2lFMwOr
http://bit.ly/DefiningYou
Follow on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook: https://facebook.com/fionamurden
“Curiosity is the essence of human existence. “Who are we? Where are we? Where do we come from? Where are we going?” I don’t know. I don’t have any answers to those ques- tions. I don’t know what’s over there and around that corner. But I want to find out.”
Eugene Cernan – American astronaut
If you’re curious about being curious it’s something I talk about in my first book Defining You:
http://bit.ly/DefiningYou
https://amzn.to/2lFMwOr
If you are curious about who you are, your brain and the influences in your life then please dip into my more recent book Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
https://bit.ly/MirrorUSACan
https://bit.ly/2ylrc7H
Follow us/ask us any questions on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook: https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Or for Lou
Instagram: www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter: https://twitter.com/louisejones78
Giles’s story is full of twists and turns from playing in a band who toured the country and played at Glastonbury to working in a toy shop. We discuss the life of a creative looking at how the magical children’s books that he’s won so many awards for came into being through to hosting two brilliant podcasts: the Blank podcast with the fab Jim Daly and A Little Bit of Positive with the wonderful Julia Bradbury.
Giles lives in Seaford with his wife, Michelle, and their two sons, Elijah and Sonny. His books include of The Fearsome Beastie, winner of The People's Book Prize 2012, Heart of Hawick Children's Book Award 2013, Bizziebaby Gold Award and The US Forward National Literary Award. He has written several picture books and a collection of nonsense poetry. I urge you to read his latest book which is for adults, One Hundred and Fifty Two Days which is incredibly moving, readable and written as free verse. I met Giles on twitter and he has transformed my experience of it from something I hated to a platform I now actually enjoy. His interactions are kind and positive, drawing an audience of people who are grateful and show their best side.
You can find One Hundred and Fifty Two Days at:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hundred-Fifty-Two-Days-Giles-Paley-Phillips/dp/1783527706
The Blank podcast featuring people such as Dawn French, Kelly Holmes, Stephen Mangen & David Baddiel, is at
https://play.acast.com/s/theblankpodcast
And a Little Bit of Positive at
https://play.acast.com/s/a-little-bit-of-positive
You can follow Giles at:
Twitter https://twitter.com/eliistender10
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/eliistender10/
For me and my books:
Mirror Thinking - How Role Models Make Us Human
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
Defining You - How to Profile Yourself and Unlock Your Potential
http://bit.ly/DefiningYou
Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook: https://facebook.com/fionamurden
We discuss why it’s not a ‘thing’ in the sporting profession, who suffers from it in the work environment, why and the best ways of dealing with it. The key take aways are that:
-
it’s about understanding how our achievements fit into our personal narrative
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we need to make sure that we’re talking about the worries and fears associated with imposter syndrome with someone who will understand such as a mentor, family member or friend
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it's important to find ways in which to validate our own self-worth
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And then Lou adds her own wisdom about having ‘good sex’ too.
For more about understanding your personal narrative please take a look at my first book Defining You.
http://bit.ly/DefiningYou
https://amzn.to/2lFMwOr
If you want to know more about how we are influenced by mentors and how to find role-models and mentors who can help us then my latest book is Mirror Thinking – How Role Models Make Us Human.
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
https://bit.ly/MirrorUSACan
https://bit.ly/2ylrc7H
Follow us/ask us any questions on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook: https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Or for Lou
Instagram: www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter: https://twitter.com/louisejones78
In this discussion we cover a lot of ground from what makes a good leader in a crisis through to finding your soulmate. The difficulty of leading a team when you don’t speak the same language as them (in Prague), how certain things inevitably get ‘lost in translation’ and how to deal with that when you’re running a business. We also explore ‘What do those lost nuances in behaviour mean when it comes to conducting business over zoom in lockdown?’
We consider the complexity of running a business as a joint venture in China (Tesco) and the huge cultural differences in the working environment between the USA and the UK despite the shared language.
Jon challenges the construct that ‘boys know all the answers and have to be macho’ as a leader, applauding Jacinda Ardern’s approach to leadership. We discuss how difficult it is to lead in times of uncertainty and how much more difficult that is for someone who is wholly dependent on the data for making decisions (btw: Jon is not one of these).
The learnings taken from watching the board at Tesco’s operating and the learnings taken from being a 20 something year old who, in Jon’s own words was ‘promoted into a role that was too big.’ Something that he reflects on and still takes learning from to this day.
You can find Fiona on the following:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook: https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Fiona’s latest book (out July 7th UK, 15th Sept rest of world) Mirror Thinking How Role Models Make Us Human:
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
https://amzn.to/2yKpf4j
https://bit.ly/2ylrc7H
And her first book Defining You
UK: https://amzn.to/30wiMEy
USA: http://bit.ly/DefiningYouPaperbackUSA
Australia: http://bit.ly/DefiningYouAus
What can we do as adults in managing our own emotions to support them in managing their emotions? How can we check in with children in a way that elicits a real understanding of what’s going on for them? Checking in on teachers and making sure they’re OK? And understanding ourselves so that we’re not passing our own stress and anxieties onto the people we love. Finally of course remembering that we’re not perfect, we’re all human and simply doing the best that we can. Hopefully though this will serve as a reminder of how.
If you want to know more about how we are influenced by our parents and teachers and how we influence and shape others please take a look at my book. Mirror Thinking
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
https://amzn.to/2yKpf4j
https://bit.ly/2ylrc7H
Follow us / ask us any questions on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook: https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Or for Lou
Instagram: www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter: https://twitter.com/louisejones78
We discuss the twists and turns that took Joy Foster to the place she is today. An award-winning serial social entrepreneur whose work helping women upskill with modern technology, has seen her recognised as a ‘Rising Star’ by WeAreTheCity (one of the largest women’s networks in the whole of the UK). Joy has also been and recognised by Computer Weekly and Business Insider as one of the most influential people shaping British technology in 2019 and 2020. In 2018, she was named as one of the 100 Faces of the Vibrant Economy by Grant Thornton and won the Institute of Directors Startup Director of the Year for London and the South.
Joy also hosts the Sparkle and Thrive podcast which was launched in 2019 as part of TechPixies. The podcast can be found on both apple podcasts and spotify. On 27 April 2020, the podcast hit #1 on the UK podcast charts.
We mention Fiona’s book Mirror Thinking in the podcast which is available at the links below in the UK, USA and rest of the world 15th Sept:
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
https://amzn.to/2yKpf4j
https://bit.ly/2ylrc7H
You can find Joy at:
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/techpixiejoy/
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/techpixiejoy/
Tech Pixies at:
https://techpixies.com/
Instagram @TechPixies
And Fiona Murden at:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook: https://facebook.com/fionamurden
There's a section on self-worth, self-esteem and confidence in my first book Defining You.
http://bit.ly/DefiningYou
https://amzn.to/2lFMwOr
Ask us any questions on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook: https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Or for Lou
Instagram: www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter: https://twitter.com/louisejones78
Currently stationed in San Diego California Wing Commander Jonathan McMullan joined the Royal Australian Air Force in 1991 as an Airborne Electronics Analyst. His journey has been marked by personal and professional challenges. For example, despite having marked on his original recruitment file ‘not Officer material’ he not only commissioned as a Navigator in 2001 but upon graduation from Officers’ Training School he received the annual Leadership Sword for the best Junior Officer. Spurred on by both a desire to prove he could but also significantly a desire to lead in a way he felt others were missing.
A significant part of how he has shaken up leadership has been to openly discuss his experience of PTSD, how that has shaped him and how important it is for people coming through the ranks both within the air force and within the population at large to understand that it’s OK to experience mental ill health, whoever you are.
In 2003 Jonathan served four tours flying in both Iraq and Afghanistan. He was then posted to the Air Combat Transition Office to support the introduction of the Australian Super Hornet. In 2011 he was selected to be the Detachment Commander for the Heron Remotely Piloted Aircraft rotation in Kandahar, leading a team in Afghanistan.
Jonathan was awarded a Commendation for Distinguished Service in the 2012 Queens Honours List for leadership at war and his meritorious Command of the RPA detachment in Afghanistan. He then returned to Kandahar for a further two commands of the Heron RPA team. At the conclusion of a nine month tour he was awarded the US Bronze Star for meritorious and heroic leadership at war and the seamless transition of capability.
To hear more from me or know about follow up conversations with Jonathan please follow me at:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook: https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fionamurden/
Ask us any questions on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook: https://facebook.com/fionamurden
Or for Lou
Instagram: www.instagram.com/loupylou78
Twitter: https://twitter.com/louisejones78
There’s a chapter on empathy in Fiona’s latest book (out July 7th UK, 15th Sept rest of world) Mirror Thinking How Role Models Make Us Human:
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
https://amzn.to/2yKpf4j
https://bit.ly/2ylrc7H
mirrorthinking #rolemodels #rolemodelschangelives #psychology #awareness #whoareyou #blacklivesmatter #personaldevelopment #rosaparks #insight #thinking #consciousness #mindful #mindfulliving #mindfulness #advise #help #tips #habits #behaviour #behavior
Some of the topics we explore this week – needing to look to part to get the part and how important 'non controllables' are to whether you land a role in acting (e.g. height, hair colour, eye colour), juggling 8 shows a week in a West End production with motherhood, the stresses and strains of failure that build up resilience, the issue of youngsters not having exposure to that in today’s social media reality and how self-assurance not cockiness is the way to success.
In November 2009 Kirsty won the TMA Award for Best Supporting Performance in a musical for playing Young Viv in Spend Spend Spend at the Watermill Theatre, directed by Craig Revel Horwood; the production went on to tour nationally in 2010. Other work includes The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, The Three Musketeers, Arthur and George, HMS Pinafore, The Ghosts of Ruddigore and The Burglar’s Opera for Opera Della Luna (Covent Garden Festival, National Tour), The Wizard of Oz, Peter Pan, King Cotton, Jerry Springer the Opera, Ken Hill’s Phantom of the Opera, The Beggar’s Opera, Sweeney Todd, Nunsense and Barnum and the 25th Anniversary Production of Side By Side By Sondheim. She has also performed as a lead vocalist in concerts and cabarets throughout the UK and abroad, most recently soloist with the City of Birmingham Symphony Orchestra and at the Leeds Castle Classical Prom.
Kirsty also works as a session vocalist. She has recorded vocals for Warner Chappell, Disney, Sony and for numerous feature films including Mary Poppins Returns.
For more from me and to hear about upcoming guests go to
Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook: https://facebook.com/fionamurden
And for my latest book (out July 7th UK) Mirror Thinking How Role Models Make Us Human go to:
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
https://amzn.to/2yKpf4j
The questions we leave you with:
- What’s worked before and what are you still doing with that?
- What’s not working and what do you need to change and do differently?
- Within this new situation what are the new skills that would actually support that?
It’s critical to remember to make time for yourself and to talk. It sounds obvious but both so often gets lost in the to do list. It’s also OK to be low and is fairly normal given the circumstances that we’re all living in currently.
Ask us any questions on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/therealdot2dot
Twitter: https://twitter.com/therealdot2dot
Facebook: https://facebook.com/therealdot2dot
Or to contact Fiona go to:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/fiona_murden
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fionamurden
Facebook: https://facebook.com/fionamurden
There are lots of tools to help build resilience and self insight in Fiona’s book Defining You How to Profile Yourself to Unlock Your Full Potential
UK: https://amzn.to/30wiMEy
USA: http://bit.ly/DefiningYouPaperbackUSA
Australia: http://bit.ly/DefiningYouAus
For Fiona’s latest book (out July 7th UK) Mirror Thinking How Role Models Make Us Human go to:
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
https://amzn.to/2yKpf4j
https://bit.ly/2ylrc7H
mirrorthinking #rolemodels #rolemodelschangelives #psychology #awareness #whoareyou #blacklivesmatter #Mondaymotivation #personaldevelopment #rosaparks #insight #thinking #consciousness #mindful #mindfulliving #mindfulness #advise #help #tips #habits #behaviour #behavior
Jim regularly gigs on the comedy circuit (or did before lockdown), he has written and performed for sketch shows and presented for Yahoo's The Football Show and JOE.co.uk's Friday Football Live as well as featuring on BBC 5live, BT Sport, London Live and TalkSPORT. He also has a strong social media following for his original, sports-related comedy content especially on YouTube where he posts hilarious sketches regularly (under Jim Daly Comedy).
Jim plays down his abilities. I laughed a bit too loud at some points during the interview so had to cut my sound out. He is a great guy who has an astute understanding of what it means to be human. Something that I personally believe comedians have to be incredibly skilled at. I admire his honesty about all things Jim and I’m sure you will too.
Laughter builds emotional resilience which is surely something we all need more than ever before currently. We can’t lose comedy. Please sign the open letter at savelivecomedy.co.uk to put pressure on the government to include live comedy in their arts funding package. Please also share the #SaveLiveComedy hashtag and dont stop making a noise until a package is sorted to help comedians and clubs to survive.
Find Jim on:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/jimdalycomedy
Twitter: https://twitter.com/jimdalycomedy
Facebook: https://facebook.com/jimdalycomedy
Website: http://jimdalycomedy.com/
For my latest book (out July 7th UK) Mirror Thinking How Role Models Make Us Human go to:
https://bit.ly/MirrThink
https://amzn.to/2yKpf4j
https://bit.ly/2ylrc7H
Suzy is a mother of two, an author, Chartered Psychologist and coach. She specialises in self-care, helping people manage their stress, emotions, and energetic bank balance.It was her life experience of motherhood colliding with the terminal illness of her father that sparked her passion for self-care which she now teaches to her clients, young and old, to cope during periods of stress, loss and change and to boost their resilience in the face of future challenges. Suzy is on the editorial board for Motherdom Magazine, the Psychology Expert for wellbeing brand Neom Organics and is a founding member of the ‘Nourish’ app. She figure-skated her way through her childhood, growing up on the Northern Beaches of Sydney, and now makes her home in hills of Hertfordshire, UK. Her first book ‘The Self-Care Revolution’ published by Aster came out in 2017, 'Stand Tall Like a Mountain: Mindfulness & Self-Care for Children and Parents' and 'The Little Book of Self-Care came out in 2019 and her new book ‘Self-Care for Tough Times’ is hot off the press.
Join Suzy’s Wellbeing Community at:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/suzyreading/
Facebook: www.facebook.com/SuzyReadingPsychologyAndYoga/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SuzyReading
www.suzyreading.co.uk
Louise Jones has been supporting Athletes, Coaches and Performance Directors within British sport for over 18 years. Throughout this time she has supported athletes at 4 summer Olympic Games, 1 winter Olympic Games and 5 Commonwealth Games. She has worked with Olympic medalists, World Champions, European Champions, Commonwealth Games medalists, X Games medalists and other top performers across a large number and variety of sports.
Emma Pears says ‘I don’t have all the answers but I want to help people find more joy in life’. She studied music, creative arts and composition at university before spending time working in refuges for the homeless on a volunteer basis. There she saw the complexity of life on the streets, the myriad of reasons people find themselves there which can’t be fixed by simply ‘making them a cup of tea’. This sparked a desire for her to help these people move forward, if they wanted to and she went on to study for a Masters at Cambridge exploring how to do that. Emma went from that to starting ‘SingingNation’ bringing people from across generations together in community choirs. Her choirs have allowed people to feel that they belong, to feel a sense of connection, to feel valued and to often change mindsets. People who come afraid and faced only by psychological barriers begin to consider that change is possible. Time and again she has seen how individuals become empowered with the belief that they can make decisions that make them happy.
We discuss giving your brain time to think and making thinking something that should be on our to-do list, especially given that it’s not something modern life gives us time for. Emma says ‘If I allow my brain time to think it will then come to the answer more quickly’. We look at the process of writing a book and the process of writing a song ‘There’s a difference between writing a song on a whim and writing a song as a job’. Emma is an inspiration to me and to many others, I’ve no doubt that she will provide you with encouragement and curiosity simply through listening.
Kenny spent the majority of his career working for another symbolic brand - Levi’s in roles spanning the globe, which he describes as being hugely informative in his development as a leader. He began working with a coach 20 years ago and has never stopped seeing it as essential to his growth saying that “As a leader the first step is being able to lead yourself” going on to say being a leader is about asking the right questions “You don’t need to have the right answers or to be the smartest person in the room”. Although having worked with Kenny I would wager a bet that he often is. He also describes how he prepares for each day as a leader by thinking “Not what needs to be done but how to be.” Because people will remember how you make them feel.
In this episode Kenny describes growing up on a council estate in Aberdeen and how that didn’t make him “hard done by” but did focus his drive. He also explains how the form that his drive has taken has changed over the years. We discuss bringing up girls and how he wants his daughter who is now at university, to grow up as a strong independent woman able to make her own decisions about how to live her life. Also, how hard that is to do, far harder than any leadership role. Despite giving up a career in football Kenny has remained an avid supporter of Aberdeen and has been going to matches with his daughter since she was 7 years old. He shares how football is about his roots, where he grew up, unwinding and spending time with mates who couldn’t care less that he’s a CEO. Kenny also shares how important it is to him that people are respectful, no matter who they are talking to or where they are from. I hope you find him as interesting and motivating to listen to as I do.
Do you think anyone was covering the story of Weinstein 15 years ago? If they were, why did it take so long to ignite international interest? Is Covid-19 going to create a fresh start for women or set equality back? Can a fashion and beauty brand embody a genuine feminist agenda? These are all topics we explore in the second episode of Dot to Dot ‘Behind the Person’ with this week’s guest Andrea Thompson.
In this episode we talk about growing up in London with an English mother and father from Barbados and what it felt like to be ‘different’. We explore how seeing the way in which her father was treated compared to her mother made Andrea determined to allow marginalised voices to be heard. Andrea tells me about her time as a fearless young reporter meeting Weinstein face to face, exposing one of Trump’s businesses, investigating Russian companies and uncovering sweatshops in India. We discuss the four pillars that underpin the values she really cares about: women’s empowerment, sustainability, education of girls and women and mental health, and how this is driving the current agenda at Marie Claire.
Andrea is passionate about unveiling injustice but doing so in a way that provides people with the everyday relief and inspiration to make a difference and get on with their own lives with a spring in their step. This underpins everything she does including the fashion and beauty at Marie Claire which is about celebrating women as they are, instead of as they 'should be'. I’m sure that you will be able to feel the energy that she puts into her career and ensuring that people are heard seep through the recording to positively infect your day, week and maybe even your year ahead.
Do you think that people can change careers later in life? Do you think experiencing life threatening illness brings your values into clearer focus? Do you believe that women and minorities should be more fairly represented across society? Is family important no matter what is going on in your career and life more broadly?
Brenda is extremely passionate about gender equality and was awarded a CBE in the Queen's Birthday Honours List in June 2018 as a result of the work she’s done. She has chaired the 30% Club since 2016. In this role she has encouraged, persuaded, convinced and corralled CEOs globally to understand and support the need for diversity. The campaign hit a milestone in September 2019, when the number of female directors on the boards of the UK’s 100 largest listed companies hit 30.42 per cent. Brenda was listed as the number one Champion of Women in Business 2018 in the Financial Times HERoes awards and in the Summer of 2019, she was awarded an Honorary Doctorate by Queens University in Canada. Brenda spent more than 25 years working in the finance sector living in Paris, Singapore, Mumbai, Dhaka and London. She recently changing careers to work as a Partner at PWC championing Diversity & Inclusion. She is an advisor to the UK Government’s Hampton-Alexander Review. She is also on the England and Wales Cricket Board which reflects her family's passion for the game.
In this episode we talk about what and who has influenced and shaped Brenda in life. We discuss the importance of curiosity which as a psychologist I know helps with both mental and physical health - allowing us to fulfil our potential. We discuss her role in leading the 30% club campaign and her passion for championing diversity and inclusion. We discuss moving careers in your 50s, being focussed on your values and what matters. We also talk about living with cancer and having a glass half full approach to life (even touching on what Brenda calls cancer perks) and the reality of having days that are far from perfect. Most important of all we discuss Brenda’s family and how they are at the heart of who she is.
Brenda’s drive and passion for life is infectious. I hope after listening to this chat you’ll feel motivated to explore your own influences, interests and how you can go about pursuing and fulfilling your dreams.