Things Musicians Don't Talk About

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When cellist Matthew Barley was 16 he tried to take his own life following a drug-induced psychotic episode. He then went on to channel everything into music until in 2019 the trauma of the event resurfaced.

We speak to Matthew about his experience of psychosis, looking back on his experiences and the process of trauma therapy and the impact of ayahuasca. He takes us through writing music for his new album based on the events and discusses the way the classical music world views mental health conditions

matthewbarley.com

Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

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Find TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast

Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca Toal

Editor: Katy Ehrlich

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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This was a big one for Things Musicians Don't Talk About: our first live show!!!! We are so grateful to the London Podcast Festival for inviting us to take the stage with the exceptional Ayanna Witter-Johnson.

Hattie and Becca talked a little bit about the conception of the podcast and their own mental health journeys, and then chatted with Ayanna about her background and career in music. Ayanna talks brilliantly about the intricacies of making her own unique career despite not fitting into a traditional classical music pathway, and elaborates on feeling like an outsider, failures and rejections, and her process of making art from trauma and experiences of colourism.

We end with our usual Wins of the Week and take some truly excellent questions from the audience, and were truly blown away by all our fans that came to watch the show! Massive thanks to the Kings Place & London Podcast Festival team who made the day an absolute joy and really supported our audience to have the best experience possible.

Follow Ayanna on Instagram X Facebook and her website

Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Feeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Find TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast (Instagram Facebook)

Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca Toal

Editor: Rebecca Toal

Music: Katy Ehrlich & Ayanna Witter-Johnson

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We're back with our first interview after the summer! The brilliant Laure Chan speaks with Hattie and Becca about her cross-cultural, genre-bending creative endeavours and her journey to musical authenticity.

How did Laure get into composing whilst already being an established violinist? How does she explore her own identity through the medium of music? How did her shoulder injury affect her outlook on making music?

Find out by listening to Things Musicians Don’t Talk About.

Follow Laure on Instagram TikTok Youtube Spotify or visit her website

Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Feeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Find TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast

Host: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca Toal

Editor: Emma Werner

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Trigger warning: eating disorders, weight (no specific numbers)

A different format of episode this week! Becca reads out her latest blog on her body, her identity and her fears about the possibility of a life of ‘sizing-up’.

She answers some questions afterwards about the blog, talking about the male gaze, the concept of numbers in recovery and the physicality of trumpet playing.

Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Feeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Find TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast

Host: Rebecca Toal

Editor: Rebecca Toal

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Reflecting on recent trips back to our former music schools and colleges, we chat about the complex emotions that arise when revisiting places of past trauma. We discuss the challenges of addressing mental health in educational settings, wondering if our message is relevant to current students, and the lasting impact of architecture and locations on our wellbeing. We also explore the nuances of loneliness, and share our personal journeys of making peace with specific London locations.

Link to the book recommended by Becca: https://www.olivialaing.com/lonely-city

Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Feeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Find TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast

Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca Toal

Editor: Rebecca Toal

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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When cellist Ruth Philips was 29 and studying in America, she left her room as she wanted it to be found after her death. So certain was she that the performance approaching her would be the end of her life.

Now, Ruth is sought after for her whole, integrative approach as a cello teacher, mindfulness practitioner and performance coach. She speaks to us about her journey towards discovering mindfulness, reframing the word 'practice' and encouraging others to consider the violent language we frequently use as musicians and music teachers. We explore how kindness and self-love can be a difficult choice if a rigid practice routine has provided comfort, and consider how we can take steps towards a more whole perspective of practice within the music sector.

Discover Ruth Philips here

Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Feeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Find TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast

Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca Toal

Editor: Hattie Butterworth

Music: Katy Ehrlich

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We thought we'd celebrate hitting 3,000 Instagram followers as some sort of milestone in this crazy journey to cultivate much-needed honesty in the music industry! Every follower, every listener we connect with feels like a little headway in making change in the culture.

In this episode, we take some time to look back on our podcast journey so far, reminiscing about how we became a duo and how TMDTA has grown over the past 4 years. Thanks to questions from our listeners, we also reflect on our personal experiences with mental health, music schools, and our hopes about what has changed since we were school pupils. We ponder on the challenges of giving and receiving feedback in musical workplaces, as well our continuing commitment to being transparent about our struggles and aiming to bring others' stories to light.

Thanks for being here with us and here's to our ever-expanding community ❤️

Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Feeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Find TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast

Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca Toal

Editor: Rebecca Toal

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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In this episode of Things Musicians Don't Talk About, Becca sits down with Chloé van Soeterstède in her dressing room at the Royal College of Music. Chloé shares her personal experiences of working as a musician alongside pregnancy and then motherhood. She walks us through her journey - from figuring out with her manager when might be the best time to get pregnant, to performing while visibly pregnant and giving birth naturally with the aid of mental preparation. Chloé also opens up about challenges like pumping breastmilk between rehearsals on tour and traveling internationally with a newborn, and making sure to be honest about her capacities through such a huge life transformation. Becca and Chloé emphasise how rare and important it is for musicians to discuss the realities of pregnancy and parenthood, and Chloé’s honest and candid story provides a much-needed glimpse into navigating this challenging but rewarding career stage.

Follow Chloé on Instagram and witness more of her brilliant honesty!

Check out her website and on X

We always love to hear from our listeners, and if you like the show why not recommend to a friend or leave a review?

Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Feeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Find TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast

Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca Toal

Editor: Katy Ehrlich

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Another chatty episode for you lovely lot! This was recorded for our last Voices radio slot in February 2023. Hattie and Becca chat about queerness in classical music, exploring our opinions on the films Tár and Maestro, and how we feel power dynamics and hero-worship were portrayed in them. As we've seen over the past few decade or so, teacher-student relationships can be such a dangerous environment if those positions of authority are abused, and so we take a further look into what exactly it is about them that musicians don't talk about and why.

We always love to hear from our listeners, and if you like the show why not recommend to a friend or leave a review?

Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Feeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Find TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast

Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca Toal

Editor: Rebecca Toal

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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This week we come to you (unintentionally) from the Royal Opera House! We speak with composer, theatre-maker, and journalist Zygmund de Somogyi about growing up with Autism Spectrum Disorder, not fitting in to the classical music world, discovering the world of composing, their experiences of imposter syndrome and feeling disconnected from the world around them. Zyggy is now studying opera composition and discusses how they fell into opera and what it's like to work as an opera composer in the current climate. Thank you to Zyggy for their brilliant honesty and commitment to talk about the things musicians don't talk about.

Follow Zyggy on:

Website

Email (enquires)

Email (press)

Instagram

Youtube

Soundcloud

Join us on Things Musicians Don't Talk About for more honest chats about life as musicians. We always love to hear from our listeners, and if you like the show why not recommend to a friend or leave a review?

Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Feeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca Toal

Editor: Patrick Emeribe

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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TW: sexual assault we do discuss an experience of sexual assault/harassment about halfway through the episode so feel free to skip through / give this one a miss <3

We recorded this episode as part of our Voices Radio residency after the hazy summer of 2023. We took a break from the podcast for a couple of months and reflect on our individual experiences of said break. But just because we were on a break, doesn't mean our little brains weren't pondering the music biz. What about critics commenting on musicians' bodies and the deeply-engrained societal fatphobia? How do you even write about Maria Callas without talking about her mental health? What about summer depression as a freelancer? What about the expected exhaustion that comes hand-in-hand with youth orchestras and academies? How about sexual assault and the difficult situation that puts the victim in when the perpetrator is a colleague?

Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon from £1 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Feeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Recorded in September 2023 for Voices Radio

Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca Toal

Editor: Rebecca Toal

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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A very Happy New Year from us at TMDTA! To kick off 2024, we have an episode recorded waaaaay back last year with the joyous James Partridge. We speak to him about his very unique career, bringing 'primary school bangers' to the masses and what life is like as a social media sensation. Why do these primary school hymns unlock 100% FEELS in us and what does James think about music education? Find out here on Things Musicians Don't Talk About.

Follow James on:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamesbpartridge/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jamesbpartridge

Website: https://www.jamesbpartridge.com/

Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians! Follow them on Instagram, X and Facebook.

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Feeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Editor: Rebecca Toal

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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On our Voices Radio slot this month, Becca interviewed DJ Jess Hands about her experiences with mental illness and how making music has been a healing distraction from her struggles. We hear her honest account of what it's like to go through mental health crises, bipolar disorder and to get to grips with simultaneously working as a DJ.

Jessica's bio:

"My name is Jessica Hands, DJ name Jess Hands, a lover for all things bass and wonky sounds. I have bi polar type 1 and BPD, I am here to share my experience to help myself but, also to let me people know its ok to be open and can really help, music has been so healing for me, but of course brings it’s own worries, thank you for the space to share my story and if anyone wants to reach out for advice of course I’m happy to listen and help. ❤️"

Jessica's instagram

Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians!

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Feeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Follow the Royal Society of Musicians:

Instagram: @rsmgb

Twitter: @RSMusicians

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/royalsocietyofmusicians

Editor: Rebecca Toal & @noumanedits

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Welcome back! This week we speak with astounding trumpet soloist, Simon Höfele, taking a peek behind the scenes of his stunning international career to discuss the reality of it all. We chat about Simon's fortunate journey to becoming a soloist and how his ultimate love is for creating music (especially the contemporary kind), using the trumpet as a tool to achieve that. Simon also works part-time as a very cool hipster barista which he describes almost like 'paid therapy' - a form of distraction and space away from the trumpet to keep him grounded. Stay tuned to find out the piece of music he ranks 'The Most Disgusting' too.

Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians!

Follow the Royal Society of Musicians:

Instagram: @rsmgb

Twitter: @RSMusicians

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/royalsocietyofmusicians

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Feeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Want to gift us a Kofi? Click here!

Editor: Federico (@mixinghacks)

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Follow Things Musicians Don't Talk About on:

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Facebook

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Composer Gavin Higgins found that music was the only thing calmed his severe facial tics as a young kid. After an assessment at the Maudsley Hospital, Gavin was diagnosed with Tourettes and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. He was put on Prozac and told to snap a rubber band on his wrist to take away his intrusive thoughts.

A lot has changed in the treatment of mental illnesses, but what's the reality behind living with two severe conditions as an award-winning composer? And why is Gavin so determined to raise awareness? Hattie and Gavin chat in this episode about OCD, Tourettes, generational OCD themes, trauma from writing an opera, the industry as it stands and how things need to change.

Find Gavin's website here

And his Instagram

Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians!

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Feeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Follow the Royal Society of Musicians:

Instagram: @rsmgb

Twitter: @RSMusicians

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/royalsocietyofmusicians

Editor: Hattie Butterworth

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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It's our first sneaky peaky Patreon preview! Welcome through this little creaky door in the paywall to hear 5 minutes of exclusive content that we recorded last Halloween!

In this episode, Hattie, Katy and Becca scare the living daylights outta themselves by reading feedback ranging from grade 8 to graduate scheme rejections. We also have a little rant about assessing music as a subjective art form, and Hattie shares a story with us that we had to bleep out because it was too gross.

If you fancy accessing the whole episode and much more, head to https://www.patreon.com/tmdta!

Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians!

The Royal Society of Musicians is Britain’s oldest music charity and our aims remain as relevant today as they were in the earliest years – to provide vital financial assistance, advice and guidance to those professionally active in the world of music but who are unable to work due to accident, illness, stress or anxiety. Being a charity run by musicians for musicians, we are uniquely placed to fully understand the challenges faced within the profession.

Follow the Royal Society of Musicians on:

Instagram: @rsmgb

Twitter: @RSMusicians

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/royalsocietyofmusicians

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Got a few pennies to spare? Buy us a Kofi! https://ko-fi.com/thingsmusiciansdonttalkabout

Feeling extra generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Editor: Katy Ehrlich & Rebecca Toal

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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This episode is dedicated to Koshka’s wonderful piano teacher, Niel Immelman, who sadly passed away since it was recorded - and who made it all possible.

TW// sexual violence and assault, physical assault, police brutality

Becca first came across today's guest when she stumbled upon her collection of essays, Abolishing the Police. Philosophy professor, Koshka Duff (University of Nottingham), was largely inspired to compile this collection of essays on policing, dissent and abolition after her own traumatic experiences with the police. In 2013, when studying a Masters in piano performance at the Royal College of Music, Koshka was arrested after offering legal advice to a teenager undergoing a racist stop and search. She describes how the police assaulted her and left her with physical and psychological damage that continued to impact her life long after the event: she suspended her studies and had to confront the devastating possibility that she may never play the piano again. Koshka was able to return for her final recital a year after the event, and set out on a mission to heal by 'making and making up music' with her band, Stolen Goods, and via a pain management course through the NHS. The injuries left her with chronic pain that she still deals with, though more now as a "companion, rather than always an antagonist."

Koshka's album featuring several tracks recorded at her final recital

CD liner notes

The Stolen Goods EP

Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians!

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Feeling generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Follow the Royal Society of Musicians:

Instagram: @rsmgb

Twitter: @RSMusicians

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/royalsocietyofmusicians

Editor: Kaileigh Eaton

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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For TMDTA's July Voices Radio appearance, Hattie and Becca discuss Lewis Capaldi's Glastonbury set and how this might translate in the classical music world. They also chat about their experiences of saying no as employees and as freelancers, Hattie's new adventures on bass guitar and Becca's new therapist. In the original show, the first half of Paul Denegri's episode played after their discussion, but now you can go and listen to the whole thing wherever you're listening to this episode.

Thank you as ever to Voices Radio for this platform, and thank you to you listeners for your ongoing support!

The guardian article Becca loved: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/jun/26/lewis-capaldis-glastonbury-set-disability-centre-stage

Click here for the transcript

Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now supported by the Royal Society of Musicians!

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Got a few pennies to spare? Buy us a Kofi! https://ko-fi.com/thingsmusiciansdonttalkabout

Feeling extra generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Follow the Royal Society of Musicians on:

Instagram: @rsmgb

Twitter: @RSMusicians

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/royalsocietyofmusicians

Editor: Rebecca Toal

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Our amazing friend, trumpeter Aaron Akugbo, is about to make his BBC Proms debut with the Chineke! Orchestra - but there's more to his story. Determined to be unapologetic about his identity, Aaron takes us through the weird world of brass 'lad' culture, through to the rise of Black Lives Matter and navigating the brass world as someone facing direct and indirect discrimination for being both black and gay.

Discover Aaron on Instagram

His website is here

Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now generously supported by the Royal Society of Musicians!

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Got a few pennies to spare? Buy us a Kofi! https://ko-fi.com/thingsmusiciansdonttalkabout

Feeling extra generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Follow the Royal Society of Musicians on:

Instagram: @rsmgb

Twitter: @RSMusicians

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/royalsocietyofmusicians

Editor: Katy Ehrich

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Becca catches up with her former teacher, Paul Denegri, from his stay in an old farmhouse. The humblest of the humble, Paul takes us through his journey to where he is now: revisiting his unexpected appointment as Head of Brass at Wells Cathedral School; his feelings of imposter syndrome and disillusionment with the freelance musician lifestyle; and staying true to his identity. Paul's trademark openness and warmth is so refreshing in the world of classical music and music education, where prestige and resilience is so often touted as the pinnacle of success.

Thank you Paul for being the reason a lot of us from Wells fostered our passion for music and have ended up where we are now.

Paul's website: paul denegri

Paul on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pauldenegripandonltd/

Paul's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pauldenegri/

Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now generously supported by the Royal Society of Musicians!

Support TMDTA

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Got a few pennies to spare? Buy us a Kofi! https://ko-fi.com/thingsmusiciansdonttalkabout

Feeling extra generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Follow the Royal Society of Musicians on:

Instagram: @rsmgb

Twitter: @RSMusicians

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/royalsocietyofmusicians

Editor: Rebecca Toal

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Things Musicians Don't Talk About is now generously supported by the Royal Society of Musicians!

Episode notes:

(Episode recorded for our June Voices Radio show)

Before we get to Stu's post-nap's epiphanies, Becca monologues on a recent Instagram Q&A and delves into 'soul-care', doing laptop stuff, missing my eating disorder and practising for a recital. Then we head to the garden to chat with Stu about all things musician. We discuss:

getting back up after auditions
spinning the different freelancer plates
the hardest & easiest things about being a musician
being in a 'musician couple'
what music & podcasts been listening to

If you've been affected by any of the issues mentioned in this episode, head to our Resources page for further signposting and support.

Support us

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Got a few pennies to spare? Buy us a Kofi! https://ko-fi.com/thingsmusiciansdonttalkabout

Feeling extra generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Follow the Royal Society of Musicians on:

Instagram: @rsmgb

Twitter: @RSMusicians

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/royalsocietyofmusicians

Editor: Rebecca Toal

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Tw: Mentions of suicide and it’s prevention

In a society opening up conversations around mental health, suicide is still severely stigmatised and misunderstood. Today we meet pianist Gosia Garska who volunteers at the Listening Place - a charity set up by Samaritans to hold space for people struggling with suicidal thoughts and ideation.

We discuss common myths around suicide, as well as how the Listening Place supports those with ongoing struggles. We also hear from Gosia about how work at the Listening Place has changed her life, both as a musician and personally and entering a space of non-judgement when listening to those dealing with thoughts of ending their life.

Thank you Gosia for sharing your experience with us 🙏

Discover The Listening Place

If you've been affected by any of the issues mentioned in this episode, head to our Resources page for further signposting and support.

Support us

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Got a few pennies to spare? Buy us a Kofi! https://ko-fi.com/thingsmusiciansdonttalkabout

Feeling extra generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Editor: @kaileigheato

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca Toal

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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WE PASSED OUR VOICES RADIO TRIAL! Here's our most recent episode-show where we answer beautiful questions from our Insta followers (thanks you guys!). We chit-chat about our favourite and least favourite memories of TMDTA, Father Christmas and Wendy Christmas, a slightly different origin story of the podcast, the power of sharing our stories on social media, balancing pod commitments, Becca's wet cat and not treating the pod as a job. Thanks again to Voices Radio for giving us another platform to continue breaking down the barriers and talking about the things musicians don't talk about.

If you've been affected by any of the issues mentioned in this episode, head to our Resources page for further signposting and support.

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Feeling extra generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Editor: Abbeydot - Audio Engineering for Women and LGBTQIA folks

Music: Katy Ehrlich

Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca Toal

Photographer: Venetia Jollands

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This week we speak with the inspiring Emily Ashton, baroque cellist, viola da gambist and climate activist. Emily is a founding member of XR Baroque, a group of early music environmentalists who perform at Extinction Rebellion protests. We discuss how we process the overwhelm and anxiety that come with thinking about climate change, the murkiness of being a freelance musician and staying true to your beliefs, and the tension between the need for systemic and individualistic change in environmental action.

We are so grateful to Emily for talking with such eloquence and gravitas on one of the most important topics.

XR Baroque's Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/375287633080945/

Check out Extinction Rebellion's website to see how you can get involved: https://extinctionrebellion.uk

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Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

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Feeling extra generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Edited by and music composed by Katy Ehrlich

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On this episode, Hattie speaks with flautist Kathryn Williams, co-author of the Independent Society of Musicians's (ISM) Dignity at Work 2 study, which looked into the experiences of discrimination among those working in the music sector. They also speak about Kathryn's experiences as a single parent 11 years ago, navigating studying at the Royal Northern College of Music whilst being the sole carer for a 1-year-old.

Follow Kathryn on Instagram: @kathrynwilliamsflutes

Discover the ISM here

Parents in Performing Arts (PiPA) Campaign

If you've been affected by any of the issues mentioned in this episode, head to our Resources page for further signposting and support.

Support us

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

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Edited by Hattie Butterworth

Music by Katy Ehrlich

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In this episode of Things Musicians Don't Talk About, Hattie and Becca chat from the cosiness of Hattie's new-ish house and perfect podcasting room. We have a candid conversation about the recent arts cuts and the precarity of freelancing, plus Becca's recent feelings of audition burnout, and how we've both experienced and dealt with (or not dealt with...) performance anxiety in the past.

Join us as we break down the barriers and continue to talk about the things musicians don't talk about.

(originally recorded for Voices Radio)

If you've been affected by any of the issues mentioned in this episode, head to our Resources page for further signposting and support.

Support us

Want to support us on a regular basis? Consider joining our Patreon for £3 a month: https://www.patreon.com/tmdta

Got a few pennies to spare? Buy us a Kofi! https://ko-fi.com/thingsmusiciansdonttalkabout

Feeling extra generous? Help us raise funds for the podcast: https://www.gofundme.com/f/things-musicians-dont-talk-about

Edited by Rebecca Toal

Music by Katy Ehrlich

Hosts: Hattie Butterworth & Rebecca Toal

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Where do musicians go for support in a crisis? For many years Help Musicians UK has been the main source of advocacy, funding and research for musicians facing crises of health and finances in the UK.

In response to the increase in need for mental health support post pandemic, last autumn Help Musicians launched its subsidiary charity, Music Minds Matter to focus in on the mental health provision for musicians.

Today we speak to Head of the charity, Joe Hastings, about its launch, his own journey, the main patterns he is witnessing among musicians, supporting them in mental health challenges and the future goals of Music Minds Matter.

"Whatever you’re going through right now, you can contact Music Minds Matter on 0808 802 8008"

Find TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast

Our website is: www.thingsmusiciansdonttalkabout.com

Help us raise funds for the pod here

Support us on Patreon for £3 a month and get access to extra episodes and content!

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Music and editing by Katy Ehrlich

Recorded at the Help Musicians offices, London

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Today we are coming with a fascinating episode with Ingela Onstad, who is a psychotherapist and performance coach, as well as a professional soprano.

Both Rebecca and I have been interested in getting to know a musician who is also trained as a psychotherapist and were curious to understand how she deals with boundaries in her job. We explore all of this, asking for Ingela’s insight into diversifying her musician life, becoming more than ‘just’ a singer and helping people through a therapeutic lens.

Fiind Ingela on Instagram @courageousartistry

Her website is here

Find TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast

Our website is: www.thingsmusiciansdonttalkabout.com

Support us on Patreon for £3 a month and get access to extra episodes and content!

Or buy us a Kofi

It's over and out from us for the year, and wishing you all an incredibly soul-warming holiday and New Year!

Love Becca, Katy and Hattie xx

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*This episode deals covers topics including eating disorders, mental illness and the Holocaust. Kate talks about them incredibly respectfully and not in graphic details, but for listeners that would rather sit this one out, we understand*

It's our last episode of 2022 and this time, we're speaking to the exceptional Dr. Kate Kennedy, broadcaster, academic, cellist and writer, who specialises in combining biography, words and music. She is also the Co-Director of the Oxford Centre for Life-writing and a research fellow at the University of Oxford.

We talk to her from the crypt of St. Clement Danes (with somebody's wedding going on above our heads), discussing her own experiences in life and in music, and about her current work on her book, Cello, an autobiography of the instrument itself and its musicians. We were particularly interested in her biography of war poet and musician, Ivor Gurney, speaking about his own struggles with mental illness and confinement to an asylum in later life. (Dweller in Shadows: A Life of Ivor Gurney, Princeton Press, 2021)

We're incredibly grateful to Kate for her eloquence and candidness about her own encounters with injury and struggles during her teenage years and early adulthood. It truly is a pleasure to listen to her, and interviewing her was such an enriching experience, and we cannot wait to read her future works.

Follow Kate on Twitter

Kate's website

Find TMDTA on all the socials at @tmdtapodcast

Our website is: www.thingsmusiciansdonttalkabout.com

Support us on Patreon for £3 a month and get access to extra episodes and content!

Or buy us a Kofi

It's over and out from us for the year, and wishing you all an incredibly soul-warming holiday and New Year!

Love Becca, Katy and Hattie xx

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This week we are coming from a North London living room with our wonderful friends from Three In A Bar Podcast. Verity Simmons (cello) and Seb Philpott (trumpet) join us for a 2-part series of collaborative podcasting and incredible company.

We talk about how podcasting has altered their lives, who writes the emails, their careers and experiences as freelancers and the Three In A Bar podcast genesis from in the pit of Funny Girl the Musical. We also learn about their most traumatic performance memories, and take to Classic FM's quizzes to discover Seb's cross-genre knowledge and the age of Verity's soul.

Keep your eyes peeled to the Three In A Bar podcast channel for part 2 out next week!

Follow Three In A Bar on Instagram and Twitter @threeinabar

Visit their website here!

The episode was edited by Katy Ehrlich.

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Introducing our producer, the wonderful flautist Katy Ehrlich. We are so excited to introduce Katy to you all and for you to hear the journey of her incredible life, and role in the pod, through county youth orchestra to Manchester University and then to the Royal Academy of Music for masters. Katy's journey uncovers a lot of the difficulties with music college environments and we discuss how hard it can be to be honest about your personal life and limitations whilst studying.

Katy also took us through the traumas of orchestra lists and the humiliation of not seeing your name. Her steps towards music editing for TV and film are so exciting and we loved learning more about her goals and insights into the sector. We also just have a hilarious chat!

We can't begin to imagine how such an honest and beautiful soul came to be our producer and we are beyond grateful to Katy for all she does and is!

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‘It’s easy to slip into a mode of being

where you think your life is happening to you and

you’re stuck…you think you have to carry on xyz

trajectory because that’s how it’s been for so long…’

This week’s guest is the soprano Betty Makharinsky who spoke to me (Hattie) during a day of rehearsals for the charity and organisation she co-founded, Vache Baroque Festival ✨

Betty and I spoke about her difficulties with the music college system after leaving Oxford and how going too soon affected her development and confidence as a singer. She also speaks with so much wisdom about her love of teaching and the importance of the workshops run in schools by the Vache Baroque Festival.

It was amazing to hear about Betty’s excitement for her future as a singer and having the confidence to commit to exploring everything she can with her voice and opportunities it may bring.

Her love for singing is so infectious and wise and I think Betty put her mindset best when she said ‘- More and more I think it’s important to do everything in your life full-heartedly’

Thank you Betty for bringing such honesty and

inspiration 🙏

Follow Vache Baroque on Instagram @vachebaroquefest

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This episode we are sharing the space with BBC Radio 3 presenter and flautist, Hannah French. Recorded in a North London office space, we listened as Hannah explained to us her journey to a diagnosis of Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, a collagen deficiency which affects the soft tissue and has impacted her ability to walk, play the flute and live life as she once knew it. She took us through the reality of living with EDS, and the process of moving away from flute performance and into her current job as a presenter at BBC Radio 3. We talked about the power that radio now has in her life, creating a space to tell stories and shape a listeners' experience and the process of creating the amazing documentary for Radio 3, The Silence of My Pain in 2020.

Thank you to Hannah for her honesty about her pain experience and for your wonderful presence and infectious humour!

Hannah's documentary, The Silence of My Pain, will be played again this Friday, 9th September on BBC Radio 3 at 10pm

Wanna jump around? Timestamps:

0:00: Intro

2:25: Welcome to Hannah

4:00 What is EDS?

8:00: Discovering Hannah's EDS and playing the flute

14:25: Moving into academia and research

15:35: Accommodating people with disabilities in music

19:00: Acceptance of disability and illness

20:15: Pastoral welfare of students; working at the Royal Academy of Music as a lecturer and tutor

23:30: Loss of identity as a flautist

26:00: Moving into radio and working for the BBC

28:18: The liberation of radio

29:15: Does Hannah feel envious when presenting/watching performances?

31:45: The psychological impact of pain

36:30: Managing difficult emotions, anxiety and coping mechanisms

39:00: Working with and not against pain

41:50: Making the documentary, The Silence of My Pain

45:30: The importance of silence in Hannah's life

46:45: Fascination and flow

53:22: Unapologetic visibility

55:15: Starting conversations about pain and disability

56:35: Removing shame and presenting an honest depiction of pain

1:01:30: Wins of the week!

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This week on TMDTA, Becca and Hattie chat with Guy Withers, Artistic Director, founder and CEO of Waterperry Opera Festival, about this year's upcoming festival which will celebrate it's fifth anniversary with an innovative eight-day open-air collection of eight productions in Waterperry, Oxfordshire. As usual, Becca and Hattie want to know more about what's going on behind the shiny facade of such a successful festival and they chat with Guy about not only the festival's journey to fruition but also his personal experiences and how they have informed his current role. Guy shares with us the some of the trials and errors he's experienced whilst working at the festival and talks about them with such humility and such obvious passion for his work. Thank you Guy for your honesty and openness with us!

“To celebrate our fifth anniversary as a festival, we have created an ambitious season of eight productions. With

returning favourites, and exciting new ventures, our broad programme has something for everyone, with each

offering as unique and thrilling as the next. We are taking artistic risks to create the exciting operatic experiences

that will captivate the next generation of audiences as well as our loyal followers.

Our focus this year as a company is creating new audiences for opera with inventive and accessible work, inspiring

local young people with free tickets for those under 16, and developing emerging talent with our Young Artist

Programme. We want to make sure there are no barriers to any young person enjoying or engaging with classical

music and opera.” - Guy Withers, Artistic Director & CEO

Waterperry Opera Festival: https://www.waterperryoperafestival.co.uk

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Hattie and Rebecca are joined this week by violinist and podcaster Cliodhna Ryan. Delving into the years Cliodhna spent in the busyness of London, Cliodhna talks about her move back to Ireland and the creative projects that sprung from the move. Violinist in the Irish Chamber Orchestra, Cliodhna speaks about the realities of freelance life, as well as her experiences living with panic disorder and injury.

Cliodhna has her own podcast, Bittersweet Symphony, in which she speaks with fellow musicians about their lives during the desolation of the pandemic. The podcast asks what musicians experienced in that time, what they have taken from it and how it has impacted their self-worth and sense of identity.

Thank you to Cliodhna, who is now a firm friend and wonderful support of us!

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Welcome back! A while back, we talked with photographer Olivia Da Costa (after our #gifted photoshoot) about her new career as a photographer specialising in musicians' portraits and what's led her to this point. Olivia shares with us her journey through music school and college, through a complex relationship with the cello and music, and into the pandemic when she founded her photography business. It's not often that we see a musician change career paths and still stay firmly rooted in the same circle of colleagues, so Olivia's story is particularly interesting! Thank you Olivia for your frankness and vulnerability with us, and also for hosting us in your Pinterest-esque flat and providing us with cups of tea to our hearts' content.

Olivia's Instagram (@oliviadacostaphoto)

Olivia's Facebook (@oliviadacostaphoto)

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Today we are joined by consultant laryngologist, voice disorders specialist and singer Declan Costello! We speak about common vocal injury among singers, the technicalities of his practice, what happens in vocal surgery and whether some injuries are irreversible. Check out Declan here

Declan's Biography

Mr Costello studied music at St John's College, Cambridge, where he was a choral scholar under Christopher Robinson. He went on to study medicine at Imperial College and undertook his ENT specialist training in the Oxford region.

He was appointed as a consultant ENT surgeon (specialising in voice disorders) at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Birmingham in August 2010. In December 2018 his NHS practice moved to Wexham Park Hospital in Berkshire.

Mr Costello runs weekly private clinics in London and Maidenhead and weekly NHS clinics in Wexham Park (Slough) and Heatherwood (Ascot).

Amongst his non-clinical duties, he is the editor of ENT & Audiology News magazine. He continues to sing regularly with a number of different groups.

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Trigger warning: eating disorders and mental illness

Part 2: We return to Rosie's story to hear about both the rock bottom and how she moved onwards and upwards past it. We would recommend listening to part 1 if you haven't already (released only a couple of days ago!) as this'll make a lot more sense with the rest of Rosie's story. We feel so incredibly honoured and grateful to Rosie for her time and vulnerability with us, and are so excited to see where Rosie goes in life with her brilliant self-awareness, musicality and strength.

Rosie's Instagram: @rosiebennetguitar

Fret Not Pod: @fretnotpod

tonebase blog: https://www.tonebase.co/guitar/blog

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Trigger warning: eating disorders and mental illness

Part 1: We are extremely grateful to guitarist Rosie Bennet for letting us into the nooks and crannies of her life story. We talk about Rosie's musical training and her travels all over the world, and the subsequent dark periods in her life that culminated in a breakdown during her years at music college. The way in which Rosie speaks about her life and her music is so poetic and an absolute joy to listen to, despite the depth and heaviness of her journey.

Part 2 will be released this Friday, in which we talk about Rosie's ascent back up from rock bottom.

Rosie's Instagram: @rosiebennetguitar

Fret Not Pod: @fretnotpod

tonebase blog: https://www.tonebase.co/guitar/blog

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We reached 10,000 downloads which we think sounds a lot so we did a celebratory Q&A episode! Admittedly we didn't get as many questions as we'd expected (for some reason we thought number of downloads = number of questions with no effort required ) but we still had a nice chat and an orange san pell on Hattie's bed.

Thanks as ever for your support and for your continued listenership, and here's to the next 10k!!

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Get in touch with your comments, questions, love letters... and if you fancy leaving us a review, we'd massively appreciate it <3

Transcript available soon - busy week, sorry!

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Oh hey there again and thanks for joining us for episode 39!

I could listen to Vic talk all day, honestly. Today, we present to you our chat about life as a freelance musician parent and Vic's experiences of pregnancy discrimination - a very real but seldom talked about topic. Vic herself is an amazing trumpet player who frequently appears on TV as well as performing to a live audience. She's performed at the BBC Music Awards, Strictly Come Dancing, Britains Got Talent and This Morning, as well as performing with artists such as Rod Stewart, Charlotte Church, John Cale and Robin S. Victoria has worked in the West End as a dep and with touring shows such as Wicked, Miss Saigon, Funny Girl, Follies, Evita and on the production of Astley’s Astounding Adventures. She’s played with a number of the UKs leading orchestras including the Hallé, Welsh Pops Orchestra, Royal National Scottish Orchestra, British Sinfonietta and plays with Pop bands and function bands such as The Old Dirty Brassards, Oompah Brass and The House and Garage Orchestra.
Victoria also enjoys performing solo recitals for events and concert venues playing a wide variety of music.

Thank you Vic for your openness - you're our hero and the way you're spreading awareness is chefs kiss

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Today we are thrilled to release our conversation with violinist and co-founder of the Manchester Collective, Rakhi Singh.

Speaking with Rakhi was so joyful and restorative. We discuss her life within the Manchester Collective, how they continue to push boundaries and what ‘daring collaborations’ mean. We go on to talk about chamber music and the ways in which we can feel restricted in the definition we have created within classical music.

Rakhi suggests a more integrative and whole approach to music education, asking why playing pieces that we actually enjoy can so often not be our top priority when studying. We also question why classical musicians only learn three types of scales, how to embrace feeling lost and spirituality within music.

Thank you to Rakhi for your openness and kindness, we are really grateful to be sharing this conversation with you all.

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Hattie and Rebecca are joined by the chair of the Conservatoires UK Student Network, Cara Houghton to speak about their Burnout Campaign in collaboration with Healthy Conservatoires, starting this week from 21-26 March.

Rebecca and Hattie go on to discuss their own experiences of burnout, the difference between mental illness and burnout and Hattie’s experience living in a convent to get away from musical life! They also go on to speak about Rebecca’s experience with running and leaving running behind as the next step in her recovery from eating disorders and exercise addiction.

Follow the burnout campaign on the CUKSN Instagram account.

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Wow, what a conversation we had with Jocelyn. We discuss the London Chamber Orchestra's recent-ish decision to drop their dress code, but before we get into that we talk about her life before being appointed the Managing Director of LCO, and now the CEO of Three Worlds Group. Freelance life is a struggle at the best of times, and we are so so grateful to Jocelyn for speaking so powerfully about her experiences and thoughts on the subject.

This felt like such an important and energising conversation, particularly as our first in-person interview (all the way down in the depths of South London), and it was so wonderful to talk to a musician such as Jocelyn who now works in more of a managerial role, but who has also experienced the intensity of freelancing, and is determined to make a change in the world of music. Jocelyn, you are our absolute hero.

LCO's website: https://www.lco.co.uk

Please consider leaving us a review and rating if you can, as this really helps us reach new listeners, grow our community and normalise these conversations!

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This episode, Hattie and Becca are joined by BOP* Stuart Beard. They chat (unsurprisingly) about life as a freelance musician, Hattie’s big move to London, the Sunk Cost Fallacy, turning opportunities down and general other chatty topics.

Listen wherever you usually get your podcasts, and if you can, please leave us a review and subscribe!

*(Boyfriend of the Pod)

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Frances Wilson, publicist and writer/blogger extraordinaire talks to Hattie and Rebecca about her blog and other work, her love of live music, lack of creative motivation in lockdown, and what it's like to get to know the artists behind the music. She is most famed for her wonderful blog, The Cross-Eyed Pianist, and her popular series of written interviews, Meet the Artist, that is about to turn 10 years old! We are incredibly grateful to Frances for her time and her wisdom.

p.s apologies for the questionable audio quality - Hattie and I forgot to wear headphones and it caused all manner of problems in the 'editing studio'...

Frances' bio:
Frances Wilson is a publicist and writer/blogger on classical music and the piano under the pen name The Cross-Eyed Pianist. Frances has established a strong presence in the UK classical music world through her blog The Cross-Eyed Pianist (founded in 2010) and her many contacts with musicians through the popular Meet the Artist interview series (launched in 2012).
In addition to her blog, Frances is co-founder/editor of ArtMuseLondon, an independent website focusing on reviews of art, music and culture. She has appeared on BBC Radio 3's Music Matters to discuss the role of music criticism today and the effect of the internet on music journalism and writing. She is a writer for Hong Kong-based classical music site Interlude HK, and has contributed articles to Pianist magazine and The Schubertian, the journal of the Schubert Institute UK. She is concerts manager for Weymouth Lunchtime Chamber Concerts, a monthly recital series founded in 2002 by pianist Duncan Honeybourne. Frances returned to the piano seriously after an absence of nearly 25 years and achieved Licentiate and Associate performance diplomas, both with Distinction, in her late 40s. She has studied privately with leading pianist-teachers Penelope Roskell and Graham Fitch, and participated in masterclasses and coaching sessions with Murray McLachlan, Stephen Savage, James Lisney, Charlotte Tomlinson and Sarah Beth Briggs.

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Ollie West is an incredibly talented singer-songwriter, as well as being an avid appreciator of classical music. We speak about his experience with anxiety surrounding traditional music education and about the differences between studying within popular music and classical music.

Ollie shares his experiences with anxiety, depression and binge eating disorder. During the pandemic, Ollie's mental health reached crisis point as he began to deal with panic attacks and suicidal thoughts.

It can feel easy to declare yourself 'unworthy' of the suffering you experience, especially, as Ollie puts it, if you are someone of able-bodied, male and white appearance. Ollie has moved away from this destructive mindset and into one of desire to help others with his story. Ollie's message is universal and is vitally important as a step towards supporting men's mental health. We are so grateful to Ollie and all he is!

Find Ollie West & The Wildflowers on Spotify here

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TMDTA hosts Rebecca Toal and Hattie Butterworth discuss their experiences taking psychiatric medication following Dr Alex George's PostYourPill campaign. They talk about the stigma and image around being someone with a mental illness within the classical music world and how important campaigns like this are for normalising people's experiences.

They also talk over the Royal Opera House's recent merchandise, featuring Margot Fonteyn's statement of the all-consuming nature of art as a way of life. We discuss whether or not we agree and also move onto talk about rejection, Rebecca's recent auditions and how traumatising rejection from the National Youth Orchestra was for Hattie!

If you want to keep up with us, we are online pretty much everywhere!

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During our Musicians' Injury Awareness Week, we interviewed Soft Tissue Therapist and Injury Rehabilitation specialist, Anil Umer about his experience of injury, as someone who has both suffered from one personally and treated others. We thank Anil for his openness and his wisdom!

Anil is a freelance cellist, Injury Rehabilitation Specialist and Soft Tissue Therapist. He works both privately and in clinic, and has treated professional musicians, dancers and Olympic athletes. Having had to temporarily quit performing due to a shoulder injury, he has a passionate interest in helping people overcome chronic musculoskeletal issues. Anil Studied at Oxford University and was awarded a full postgraduate scholarship to the Royal Academy of Music where he was the winner of numerous awards, including the Philharmonia’s Martin Musical Scholarship and the Countess of Munster Postgraduate Award. A committed ensemble musician, Anil now performs with the Morello Quartet.

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Last week was our Musicians' Injury Awareness Week and we were absolutely blown away by all the support and love we received before, during and after it. Included in the week was Becca's interview with the lovely Bob Hughes about his journey will Focal Dystonia. Bob said so many amazing things that couldn't be squeezed into just a 20 minute mini-episode, so we're releasing the whole interview today! Thank you Bob!

Born in Wales, Bob studied the Bass trombone from 1976 at the RAM with Harold Nash and was the winner of the Sydney Langston Brass Prize. Bob’s first job was with the BBC Scottish Symphony at the age of twenty. He then went on to play with the Royal Scottish National Orchestra, The Philharmonia and the London Symphony Orchestra. Bob has made multiple recordings with these orchestras including soundtracks for blockbuster films such as Star Wars, Harry Potter and Braveheart. He has toured extensively throughout Europe, Americas and Asia. Bob began teaching Bass Trombone at the Academy in 1989 and many of his students hold orchestral positions in the UK. Bob was president of the British trombone society from 2006 -2010 and there is a biannual competition named after him - The Bob Hughes Bass Trombone Competition.

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Welcome to the final episode in the Musicians' Injury Awareness Week monologue series! It's been the most amazing week of discussion, connection and creativity. We are excited to commit to supporting musicians suffering with injury far beyond this week.

Flutist and musicians personal trainer Angela McCuiston speaks to us about her journey with an injury, leading her to further research, study and to launching her business, Music Strong, supporting musicians with rehabilitation and prevention through strength training.

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It's the inaugural Musicians' Injury Awareness Week, and today's injury story comes from Murphy Robertson.

Murphy was studying saxophone at Guildhall School of Music and Drama when she started experiencing chronic pain in her jaw. She talks to us about what happened, and where she went from there.

Share your injury stories using the hashtag #MIAW2021 and tag us! The more discussion, the merrier.

Follow Murphy on: https://www.instagram.com/rc_alice_/ (@rcalice)

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Songeun Choi talks about her experience with injury from her time at school onwards and how it's affected her ability to play, practise and fulfil commitments. Thank you for your openness and honesty Songeun!

Songeun Choi is a soloist and enthusiastic chamber musician. A graduate of the Royal Academy of Music, she studied with William Fong and Diana Ketler. During her studies ,she was supported by scholarships and was awarded DipRAM and the Dorothy Bryant Award. She has performed in venues including Steinway Hall, Fazioli Concert Hall, Barbican, Wigmore Hall, King's Place, Klassische Klavier Festival in Austria and the Venue in Leeds.

Share your injury stories using the hashtag #MIAW2021 and tag us! The more discussion, the merrier.

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It's the inaugural Musicians' Injury Awareness Week, and today's injury story comes from Bob Hughes. A sufferer of focal dystonia, Bob shares with us what it was like to go through such an experience whilst still working and teaching. He talks about the difficulty in trying to find out what exactly was wrong, his trips to see various dystonia specialists, and the support he received from those around him.

Bob has made multiple recordings with these orchestras including soundtracks for blockbuster films such as Star Wars, Harry Potter and Braveheart. He has toured extensively throughout Europe, Americas and Asia.

Bob began teaching Bass Trombone at the Academy in 1989 and many of his students hold orchestral positions in the UK. Bob was president of the British trombone society from 2006 - 2010 and there is a biannual competition named after him - The Bob Hughes Bass Trombone Competition.

Share your injury stories using the hashtag #MIAW2021 and tag us! The more discussion, the merrier.

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Today Sophia Kannathasan tells us about her playing injury, which was diagnosed as golfers elbow. She takes us through the process of grieving playing violin, readjusting her priorities and healing with time, increasing playing incrementally. She also speaks about the rewards of mental practice and score study, both of which still form a part of her violin work.

Adamant about giving an honest account of being an up-and-coming musician, Sophia has reached people all over the world through her Instagram account.

Sophia has performed as part of chamber groups, orchestras, pit bands and as a soloist in various cities all over the UK, notably the Chineke! Junior Orchestra. Sophia has performed as part of an orchestra at the Royal Festival, the Royal Albert Hall and the Barbican. She led the Redbridge Music School Symphony Orchestra and co-led the University of Leeds Chamber Orchestra. She also led a string quartet that performed at Hampton Court Palace for Prince Edward.

Born in 2000 and raised in Ilford, England, Sophia Kannathasan studied with Roberta Sullivan at the Redbridge Music Service. She is currently on a placement year at Saffron Hall, a thriving concert hall in Essex, as part of her degree with the University of Leeds. She is now studying with John Crawford. She currently plays on a violin made around 1750 by Richard Duke.

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Day 2 of the first Musicians' Injury Awareness Week brings us Peter Regan's story.

Peter recently graduated from the Royal College of Music and this summer founded Fulham Fest with two friends. In his last year of study, he developed an injury in his hands, affecting not only his playing but also his mental well-being. Luckily, the pandemic seemed to come at just the right time for Peter as it meant that he could take things a little easier and pace his practice to suit him and his injury. Like many of us, he started doing some at-home yoga which seemed to help, but didn't completely remedy his injury. But then he accidentally linked up with a mobility coach, Mark McCourt (The Guy Who Didn't Settle), through social media. Mark showed him some joint exercises to develop a fuller range of motion, and Peter's eyes were opened to another level of looking after oneself and injury prevention.

Follow Peter on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p.e.t.e.r_r.e.g.a.n/
and Fulham Fest: https://www.instagram.com/fulhamfest/

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Flutist Francesca Leo takes us through her journey of long-term injury, somatic education practices and the process of setting up Playing Without Pain

As both flutist and entrepreneur, Francesca has used her own injury experience to connect injured musicians to resources and advice they may need.

Share your injury stories using the hashtag #MIAW2021 and tag us! The more discussion, the merrier.

Follow Francesca on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/playingwithoutpain/

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Welcome back! Today Hattie and Rebecca speak with concert pianist Clare Hammond about her experience with generalised anxiety disorder, post-natal depression and how these experiences have lead Clare to performances in schools and prisons. They speak about managing a mental illness as a musician, how it might feel to inhabit a prolonged period of darkness, how and whether to communicate struggle with audiences and Clare's work within prisons.

Find Clare's article for Classical Music UK about music in prisons here

Find Changing Tunes for music in prisons here

Clare's website

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More about Clare

Acclaimed as a “pianist of extraordinary gifts” (Gramophone) and “immense power” (The Times), Clare Hammond is recognised for the virtuosity and authority of her performances. In 2016, she won the Royal Philharmonic Society's 'Young Artist Award' in recognition of outstanding achievement and in 2020 she was engaged to perform at the International Piano Series (Southbank Centre).

Performances during the pandemic included recitals for the Wigmore Hall and Aldeburgh Music, a live recital broadcast for BBC Radio 3 Lunchtime Concerts from St David’s Cardiff, and broadcast recordings of Moussa and Carwithen with the BBC Symphony Orchestra (Geoffrey Paterson) and BBC Concert Orchestra (Gavin Sutherland). During 2020-21, Clare was engaged to perform with the Britten Sinfonia (Ryan Wigglesworth), Sinfonia Varsovia (Jacek Kaspszyk), Royal Philharmonic Orchestra (Christoph Altstaedt) and the BBC Symphony Orchestra (Dalia Stasevska). In recent seasons, she has performed with the Royal Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra (Vasily Petrenko), Warsaw Philharmonic Orchestra (Jacek Kaspszyk), and Philharmonia (Jamie Phillips).

Clare gave the world premiere of Uncoiling The River by Kenneth Hesketh with the BBC National Orchestra of Wales (Martyn Brabbins) and released the Complete Keyboard Works of Myslivecek with the Swedish Chamber Orchestra (Nicholas McGegan) for BIS Records in 2019. Clare’s discs for BIS have been widely praised with her latest, Variations, receiving extensive critical approval. The disc was commended for its “shimmering pianism and lightly-worn virtuosity” (BBC Music Magazine) and “artistry of the highest order” (Musical Opinion), while Crescendo (Belgium) hailed her as “one of the most exploratory pianistic personalities of our time”. Clare’s discography includes world premiere recordings of over twenty works.

Clare completed a BA at Cambridge University, where she obtained a double first in music, and undertook postgraduate study with Ronan O’Hora at the Guildhall School of Music & Drama.

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This time on Things Musicians Don't Talk About, we meet Ellie Consta, the founder of Her Ensemble. We talk about the struggles of lockdown, life as a musician, and her growing discomfort with the classical music world as it stands today. These issues together lead her to set up Her Ensemble, the UK's first women and non-binary orchestra, which is taking the classical music scene by storm.

Thank you to Ellie for all of the incredibly important work that she is doing, and for speaking to us so honestly and openly.

London based violinist, arranger and director Ellie Consta leads an exciting and varied musical career performing in a range of musical genres. Ellie’s versatility and diverse range of interests and influences means she appears regularly with world renowned orchestras, ensembles and chamber groups, as well as world class artists and bands. Recent highlights include performing for Louis Tomlinson, Pixie Lott, Tom Walker, Laura Marling, and Jack Savoretti, as well as arranging music for Wilma Archer, Flyte, Litany and Caitlyn Scarlett. Since graduating from the Royal College of Music with a first class Honours MPerf degree, Ellie has been offered contracts with the CBSO and ESO, as well as working regularly with the LPO, Spira Mirabilis, Britten Sinfonia, the 12 Ensemble, United Strings of Europe and leading Guy Barker’s Big Band. She was also a member of the European Union Youth Orchestra for four years and is currently on trial for a sub-principal position with the BBC Symphony Orchestra. Most recently, Ellie founded Her Ensemble, the UK’s first women and non-binary orchestra who made their debut this month at Battersea Arts Centre. Since forming in November 2020, the group have already recorded a feature film score for BBC Scotland, performed alongside Pixie Lott and LITANY and been featured by The Strad, Scala Radio and Help Musician’s UK.

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In today's episode Hattie speaks with the renowned cellist Laura van Der Heijden. Laura won the BBC Young Musician of the Year Award in 2012 at the age of 15 and since then has gone on to establish herself as a concerto soloist and chamber musician in high demand.

In the episode Laura and I speak about her ongoing struggles with performance anxiety and how debilitating the experience of performing can feel. We also speak about the pressures around winning such a prestigious competition and how Laura believes she made decisions that took into account her desire for longevity as an artist, often turning down opportunities she didn't feel ready for. We also speak about body image within classical music and how Laura has found spaces to be vulnerable professionally, expressing how freeing rehearsing with the Kaleidoscope Chamber Collective has been. The recent pandemic saw Laura take a decision to leave cello practice for a time, spending time with her family and exploring different types of music. We speak about how Laura has found new musical life through learning jazz piano and improvisation.

I can't thank Laura enough for giving us her time, vulnerability and warmth and I hope you all enjoy listening as much as I enjoyed speaking with her!

Find out more about Laura and her upcoming projects!

The Kaleidoscope Chamber Collective

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This time, Rebecca takes her turn as interviewer. She speaks to the exceptional Lauren McQuistin about her journey through alcoholism and into recovery, and how it has impacted her musical and personal life. Alcohol is such a mainstay of the music industry, classical and otherwise, and Lauren speaks with such honesty and eloquence on this historically taboo subject. The line between what can be seemingly 'harmless' social drinking and potentially devastating alcoholism is extremely fine, and hearing about Lauren's own struggles and subsequent determination to recover was inspirational to say the least.

Scottish soprano, Lauren McQuistin, completed her undergraduate studies at the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland before moving to America to pursue a Master of Music at Indiana University. In Scotland she featured as a soloist with BBC Choir of the Year Les Sirenes, as well as performing as Donna Anna in scenes performances. A keen interpreter of Russian music, McQuistin made her Scottish Opera/McOpera Collective debut as Marfa in Shostakovich’s Rotschild's Violin, as well as competing in and winning the Art Song class in the Sergei Leiferkus Competition for Voice in Moscow. Upon moving to America, she performed as Alice Ford and Adriana Lecouvreur in Vaness' Opera workshop, and she made her IU principal debut in 2016 as the title role of Florencia in the Jacob's School of Music production of Florencia en el Amazonas. She then went on to perform Countess Almaviva in Le nozze di Figaro with Bloomingvoce, in Bloomington. During this time she was awarded district winner in the Metropolitan Opera National Council auditions in St Louis and Nashville. Lauren was additionally the recipient of the Phyllis Curtin Career Entry Prize, whose purpose is to assist in launching the career of a graduating voice student who demonstrates exceptional talent as an artist and promise for professional success.

Find out more about Lauren: https://www.laurenmcquistin.com
Our website is: https://thingsmusiciansdonttalkabout.com

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Twitter: https://twitter.com/tmdtapodcast

Edited by Stuart Beard

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Hattie speaks with trombonist and fellow podcaster, Melissa Brown about her OCD diagnosis and the impact it has had on Melissa both personally and professionally. We speak about suffering during music college, the reality of living every minute of the day with intense anxiety and how to find the right therapy for OCD.
Melissa speaks so mindfully and with so much professionalism, whilst still having a real desire to connect and be vulnerable. I really felt at home and supported through this conversation, knowing that we never suffer alone, however lonely OCD feels.

More about Melissa:

Melissa Brown (she/her) is a trombonist, brass teacher, and podcaster now based in the Midlands of the UK (Leicestershire to be precise).

She is a graduate of Trinity Laban Conservatoire of Music and Dance and is now a freelance professional trombonist with a lot of her work focussed on educating future musicians either as a classroom music teacher or low brass specialist instrumental teacher.

Melissa is also the host, producer, and editor over at Bold as Brass Podcast where she interviews fellow brass professionals from around the world about their jobs. They just surpassed 10K downloads and had a conversational panel to celebrate (feel free to check it out on their Facebook page).

Her website, to find out more, is: melissabrownbrass.co.uk

Our website is: https://thingsmusiciansdonttalkabout.com

And instagram: @tmdtapodcast

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Trigger warning: discussions around specific homophobic comments
Explicit language is used.

Today we are speaking about recent backlash and online homophobia beneath three posts on Classic FM's social media to celebrate pride month and support the LGBTQ+ community.

We were shocked and saddened to imagine musicians still enduring an environment where to be yourself is to be attacked, even in 2021. The truth remains that to be different or to bring visibility into your music making, in order to end loneliness and stigma, is still a huge risk.

Rebecca and Hattie discuss why visibility within classical music circles is vital, why they may have felt sidelined in the past with various issues and the vibrancy brought through musicians' differences and struggles.

Classic FM's articles supporting pride:

Gay classical composers
LGBTQ music ensembles worldwide
LGBTQ conductors

Find us!

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Instagram
Facebook

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CW: Suicidal thoughts

I sit down with Rebecca for our first chat as co-hosts!
We discuss the fear around suicidal thoughts, leaving music college, managing transitions, body image, recovery and many more musician things. Rebecca also gives us some careers advice and insight into her plans for the future.
I am beyond thrilled to be able to talk so openly in this new podcast partnership and can't wait to see what the future holds with Becca on board!

Hattie xx

Find us:

https://thingsmusiciansdonttalkabout.com

https://www.instagram.com/tmdtapodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/Things-Musicians-Dont-Talk-About-105376588414579

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Today is all things Chineke!, Steiner education, mental health and branching out of classical music into other projects/genres!
Hattie chats to violinist Raye Harvey about her life and education. Delving into the subtle ways in which subtle racial discrimination has been transformed by the work of the Chineke! Orchestra, Raye talks about becoming involved with Europe's majority-Black and ethnically diverse orchestra and how transformational that has been. Raye speaks openly about her mental health, expressing why few musicians emerge from conservatoire unscathed. She speaks about how she sought professional support, including CBT in the past few years and about her experience with seasonal affective disorder.

More about Raye:

Raye Harvey is a Manchester based violinist and singer-songwriter who completed her undergraduate degree at the RNCM and is currently finishing a PGCEi with Music Masters. Coming from a large Indian-Caribbean family, Raye loves travel, collaboration and working in many different genres. As well as teaching, she performs extensively as an orchestral and session musician, including with the Ignition Orchestra, on the Brand New Heavies newest album and internationally with the Chineke! Orchestra. Raye is passionate about making music accessible for all and increasing diversity in Classical music. She also recently released her debut self-titled EP “Lakshmi”, and was made BBC Introducing Hereford and Worcester’s Artist of the Week.

Follow Raye!
Twitter
Raye's personal instagram
Lakshmi's instagram

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Welcome back! Today I am speaking with composer and guitarist George Dexter Evans about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and autism and how they impact his life as a musician and composer. We speak about the common misconceptions surrounding CFS, about taking time away to recover before starting university, being a 'mature' student and the stigma surrounding it. We also speak about George's later diagnosis of autism, how special interests and 'masking' have played into George's life, and how it can impact day to day functioning.

About George:
George Evans is a composer and electronic musician based in London. He studied electric guitar before pursuing a degree in composition at the Guildhall School of Music and Drama, studying with Malcolm Singer and Hollie Harding. He will be continuing at Guildhall in 2021, focusing on a Master’s degree in Electronic and Produced Music.

His current compositional interests include the ambiguity between stasis and movement, the spatialisation of sound, and what it means for music to be immersive. His work combines influence from Feldman, Saariaho and Takemitsu as well as ambient and drone music.

Recent pieces include ‘Expanses’ for clarinet and electronics (fixed media), recorded by the celebrated clarinettist Heather Roche, and ‘Golden Jubilee Bridges at Night’ recorded by the Guildhall Session Orchestra as part of the Illuminated River project 2021.

Find George on Soundcloud: www.soundcloud.com/georgedexterevans

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I am so sad that it’s the final day of walks, but today I am escaping the rain inside! I answer some of your questions about making decisions when you’re feeling unstable, the stigma of moving back in with your parents and what to do when things feel endless. Thank you so much everyone who has tuned in this week and made it so special. Also to my Instagram Live guests, Rebecca and Abi for their vulnerability and openness.

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Thank you for joining me for another walk!! Today I am talking about my vulnerability hangover and how the news affects our mental health (and why it’s ok to delete it)

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Today I am talking about power abuse in light of being sent this article, written by David-Emil Wickstroem called 'Dealing with (institutionalised) forms of power abuse'.Power abuse can lead to mental health problems and is a big issue within our profession that needs addressing. Today I am sharing my experience with power abuse and hope it helps you to feel less alone if it's something that you've also dealt with, or are dealing with currently. Looking forward to seeing you all this evening for the instagram live at 8pm with Rebecca Toal!

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Morning! Today was a struggle to wake up but we did. I am walking and talking about the difficulties of mindfulness, why screen time isn’t always a bad thing, letting go of labels and thinking about humility.
Hope this week is going well for you so far!

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Welcome to the first of five walks to raise awareness this Mental Health Awareness Week! Today I am out in rural Oxfordshire talking about how the current situation is impacting our mental health, my fears for the future, how I have overcome disordered work and practice and the similarities between restrictive eating disorders and practice obsession.

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Today I am talking to the wonderful soprano Channa Malkin **about her upcoming CD launch, inspired by the issues, stigmas and graces of motherhood. We talk about Channa’s journey to becoming a mother and the misconceptions many performers have about motherhood and working alongside it.

Channa's headshot is by photographer Brendon Heinst ‍**While growing up in a family of classical musicians, soprano Channa Malkin initially enjoyed other creative outlets such as painting and writing. Music was always present, as she went from playing the flute to songwriting and singing in choir and bands. But when she discovered opera as a teenager, there was no way back: she auditioned for the role of Barbarina in Le Nozze di Figaro at the Dutch National Opera, and made her debut at 16 years old. There, Channa found her true voice and embarked upon a path that has led her to become the artist and performer she is today.

Channa's new album, released on Friday 7th May, This is not a lullaby . The albumfeatures the little-known song cycle Rocking the Child by Miecyslaw Weinberg, John Tavener’s Akhmatova Songs for soprano and cello, as well as various Russian songs composed by her father Josef Malkin. A key aspect of this programme is Channa’s desire to go against the typical trope of a mother rocking her child to sleep and instead present the lows as well as the highs, and a much more varied portrayal of how having a baby has impacted her identity as an artist and woman.

In her blog post on motherhood Channa writes,

Becoming a mother has taught me that I’m stronger than I thought. Compared to growing ahuman being in my body, giving birth and surviving the first year of motherhood, any professional challenge feels like a piece of cake. It has also taught me to trust my intuition, rather than worry about what other people might think. And every day, my son is teaching me to be more calm, more confident and more open to whatever life throws my way. And to laugh about it in the process.

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How often do we really think about our hearing health as musicians? Do we realise how great the risks to hearing damage actually are and how to protect ourselves adequately? How might we navigate a change in career path within, or outside of the music profession and how can we discern and communicate our desire to diversify?
Today I am speaking with trainee audiologist and percussionist, Matt Frost. Matt Frost is partially deaf. Diagnosed with hearing loss at 17, he pursued his musical dream undeterred, training as an orchestral percussionist at the Guildhall School of Music & Drama. Reckoning with hearing loss in an industry defined by the perception of sound changed the way he related to music entirely and set in motion a whole new vocation of protecting others’ hearing health.
Upon graduating in 2019, Matt began working for Harley Street Hearing and the Musicians’ Hearing Services as a clinical Practice Assistant. It is at this intersection between the worlds of music and audiology that he feels he can best serve others. He is thrilled to now be training as an audiologist at Harley Street Hearing as he works towards a degree in Hearing Aid Audiology with Anglia Ruskin University.

www.harleysthearing.co.uk
www.musicianshearingservices.co.uk

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"Opera is queer af". Yet is is seated within the classical music profession- one dominated by a white, straight, middle-class and privileged persona. Musicians have never fitted this rigidity. The abundance of creativity and expression needed to connect with audiences requires a mind that thinks outside of the binary mentality. We also naturally have sexual and gender expressions that match the individual, rather than the gender construct. Still, musicians speak about this very rarely.

I am so excited to share this conversation with you.

My guest today is Ella Taylor. Winner of the Second Prize at the Kathleen Ferrier Awards, Ella Taylor is a soprano with a passion for performing contemporary music and works by women and gender non-conforming artists. They were a Young Artist with the National Opera Studio for 2019/20 season, as well as a graduate of the Royal Academy of Music, where they gained Distinction in MA Performance, a DipRAM for an outstanding final recital, and the Charles Norman Prize. They currently study with Elizabeth Ritchie.

Ella is a keen collaborator and recitalist, making a dedicated effort to work with and perform works by people underrepresented in classical music. Recent collaborations include the project After Violence with _REMIX; an exploration of violence and masculinity through a queer lens with drag artist Rhys’s Pieces, as well as working with composers and librettists in the creation of new, LGBT+ work. They also have performed at Leeds Lieder as part of the Composer and Poets Forum and with Ensemble 360 at Music in the Round.

In the episode, we speak about Ella's journey to identifying as trans and non-binary and what this means to them. We also speak about the world of opera and how people love to gender/stereotype voice parts. Ella shares what it looks like to be a good ally and how musicians can help promoting inclusivity and how they navigate introducing their identity to people who may have a more traditional understanding of gender.

Find out more about Ella:

@etaylorsoprano Instagram/Twitter

I am so excited to be sharing this conversation with you!

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Today I am talking to the co-founder and director of Alternative Classical, Hannah Fiddy. I talk to Hannah about her journey with music and studying music at Cambridge and how this subsequently lead to a passion for diversifying and expanding the often narrow view of classical music and how it is presented.

Hannah is a creative entrepreneur, classical music consultant and content creator based in Shoreditch. She has experience working with choirs, venues orchestras, composers, musicians and charities, leading the publicity campaigns for numerous concerts outside of traditional spaces, including warehouses, pubs, clubs, museums, hospitals and prisons. Specialising in social media, Hannah has managed the digital presence for many music organisations and artists including choral composer John Rutter. Her production credits include classical club nights for Nonclassical and pop-up gigs and tours for Street Orchestra Live.

Hannah’s alter ego is the Founder of London Flashmob, creating quirky events from wedding proposals to cultural pranks, including the London Undersound – a participatory audio adventure through the streets of Soho, which attracted over 1,000 participants.

Hannah is a music graduate of Christ’s College, Cambridge, and attended a state comprehensive school in Peterborough.

Alternative Classical creates and promotes new approaches to classical music. It offers consultancy, creative direction, and artist/project management services to music organisations and individuals who create informal classical music experiences for diverse audiences.

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Today we are talking all things OCD. I speak to my wonderful friend and fellow OCD advocate, Anglo-Armenian soprano Nikita Bazil. Nikita is currently studying a Postrgraduate Classical Vocal course at the Guildhall School of Music and Drama under the tutelage of John Evans. Her passion for music and classical singing emerged during her school years, where she developed skills in both piano and clarinet alongside her vocal studies to enhance her musicianship. Having engaged in recovery with her own mental health, Nikita prioritises raising awareness of mental health not only within general society but with particular focus in the classical music industry.
We are sharing our own OCD stories and Nikita talks about her journey with depression and times in hospital due to her OCD.
please note, we do briefly discuss themes around suicidal thoughts, depression and hospitalisation. They are not discussed in detail, though listener discretion is advised

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Joining me today is trumpet player, Rebecca Toal. We speak about Rebecca's musical journey, her struggles with anorexia and bulimia at school and how she has curated an instagram platform to speak about body image and eating disorders. We also talk about how Rebecca manages her depression and the journey to becoming an authentic musician, even if that means following an undiscovered and non-typical path.
Rebecca Toal is a freelance trumpet player, harpist and teacher based in London. Rebecca recently graduated from the Royal Academy of Music, and is currently working as a graduate music assistant in St Albans, Hertfordshire. She is currently studying for the LRAM teaching diploma and also working towards her Level 2 Counselling Skills certificate. Rebecca is passionate about discussing mental health and body image, and has previously volunteered for the mental health group, Run Talk Run, a nd The Real People Project on Instagram.

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Welcome to a new season of the podcast! I am starting this new year with a bit of an update of what I've been up to and why it was important for me to take a break. We are back with new creativity and passion to connect, so join me in the coming weeks and months for new inspiring conversations.

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In this final episode I interview Maria! Maria Nikitidou is a Greek pianist and music educator who believes that music is for everyone and can change an individual's life as well as society as a whole.
Maria is a classically trained soloist, accompanist and chamber musician; interested in classical as well as contemporary music.
With a strong background in education, Maria holds a Master's of Arts focused on Piano Performance and Music Education from Trinity Laban Conservatoire as well as a Bachelor's Degree in Education (Aristotle University) and QTS for Employment in primary schools in the UK.
Maria is currently working as a curriculum music teacher and as a piano tutor. She enjoys travelling to study music education approaches in different countries and is also a Kodaly enthusiast.
Gaining a long working experience with students with SEND, has motivated Maria to initiate projects such as “Piano and Dyslexia”.

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The second episode in a three-part series, exploring the issues surrounding low incomes and the classical music world. Does our upbringing hold us back in the profession or propel us to push and subsequently work harder?

Today I am speaking with Emily Adams. Emily is currently studying for her Masters in Musicology at the University of Oxford, where she recently completed her undergraduate studies. She is a keen violinist, currently studying with Paul Barritt. Her musical career has involved both solo and ensemble performances. In 2019, Emily performed the Mendelssohn Violin Concerto with Somerset County Youth Orchestra, and throughout her time in Oxford she has enjoyed making the most of the city’s thriving music scene.

Coming from a working-class background, the various scholarships and bursaries she has received, such as Awards for Young Musicians, have been vital in enabling her to further her musical development. Thanks to this support and contributions towards the many costs involved with music education, Emily has been able to continue to benefit from private lessons, masterclasses, and orchestral training.

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This episode marks the start of a new series, Classical Music and Low Incomes- Do They Match?, exploring issues around money and financial background in the classical music world. I speak to three musicians with very different experiences of the music education system within the UK. We speak about the ways in which their financial background has been both a barrier between and an aid towards their place in the music world.

In this first episode I chat to Northern Irish pianist and violinist, Fionnuala Ward. Fionnuala is a recent graduate of the Royal College of Music, where she studied piano with Ashley Wass. She enjoys a diverse musical career and is in demand as a chamber musician, accompanist and orchestral pianist for the European Union Youth Orchestra. Most recently, Fionnuala has been awarded a place on the Foyle Future Firsts development programme from the London Philharmonic Orchestra.

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In this episode I speak to composer, pianist and organist, Matt Geer about his diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder. Matt has recently graduated from the Guildhall School of Music and Drama and has started his PhD at Queen's University Belfast. Matt talks to me about the process of writing his opera, Sane and Sound, and about how making his disorder and symptoms come to life on stage was a comforting and healing process. We also speak about his faith journey towards profession as a Tertiary in the Society of St Francis and how prayer has become a way of life for Matt.

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In this episode I talk to pianist and composer, Richard Adam Lewis, about his move from the world of business and maths to the music world. Passionate about creativity, Richard is an improvising pianist, writer and coach. After studying maths and following five years as a consultant in London, he’s building a community connecting artists with creative people working in the business world.
We talk about his journey from maths to music, the links there are between the two and his new project, aimed at creating a space to connect artists with those in business. He also shares his advice for anyone looking at setting up a business.

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International and award-winning violin soloist and chamber musician Elena Urioste talks to me about her journey with yoga, dealing with an injury whilst in college and about why it is that musicians struggle to be vulnerable.

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Today I am all on my own, talking openly about my recent struggles with OCD, the ways in which I often worry I'm oversharing and how to tell the difference between oversharing and authenticity. At the moment, many people are struggling to find work, see a future in the arts and stay positive. I feel you, we are allowed to be angry! Toxic positivity is real and it can diminish the way we really feel.
I hope you enjoy the rambles, sending you all the love!

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Today I am talking to the pianist Laura Serra about her research whilst on the BSc in Performance Science at the Royal College of Music. She has since set up the initiative Coaching Musicians, which looks to support musicians psychologically. We talk about performance anxiety, what the concept of coaching actually is, the relationship between sports performance and music performance and the idea of being 'psychologically well', to describe a state of being, not necessarily the absence of mental illness. She also talks about her personal journey with yoga and how best to begin looking into mindfulness and meditation to support your mental health.

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Frequently, it can feel like our creative worlds are tightly wrapped around success and the next big project. But what do we do when something unimaginable happens? When our ability to play music and interact with the music world is altered? Today I talk to cellist Laura Armstrong who last October was involved in an accident and has subsequently had to learn to play the cello slowly all over again. We also talk about grief and why it is easier to talk about physical injuries rather than mental issues.

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Today I am joined by my dear friend and duo partner, Jasmin Allpress, as we admit our biggest failures and talk about what they've taught us.
Jasmin is a pianist studying with Helen Krizos at the Royal Northern College of Music in Manchester. Jasmin and I have known each other since we joined Chethams for sixth form. I've always been so inspired and uplifted by Jasmin's infectious joy and compassion, I enjoyed this conversation so much!

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In this episode I talk to pianist and composer, Frank Horvat. We spoke about Frank's journey with depression and how he's managed it alongside his career. We speak about how powerful and healing it can be, just to admit to yourself that you have a problem. We also talk about his work as an activist and why he thinks musicians should be bold in speaking out about social injustice.

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Welcome to Things Musicians Don't Talk About. A new podcast and a new way of talking! I've spent many years feeling in the dark about many issues in the classical music profession. So often it can feel like you're the only person struggling.
This week I am on my own, talking about my own experiences with having low and no motivation due to mental health issues. I have had to teach myself a new way of practicing in these times to get by and think that by being more creative with the ways we practice, we can uncover more sounds, colours and a greater appreciation for music.

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Things Musicians Don't Talk About: Recent Episodes

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