Albion: Recent Episodes
Albion
Elliott learns that racists are everywhere. Casey learns never to send back a glass of wine.
Sources:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cycling/48873611
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beryl_Burton#Personal_life
https://www.casquette.co.uk/people/queens-of-pain-beryl-burton
https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2014/jun/13/tour-de-france-beryl-burton
http://www.oxfordhistory.org.uk/mayors/government/scholastica.html
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/02/10/day-1355-university-fracas-ends-93-dead-birth-600-year-long/
https://www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/9200746.rioting-wine-led-90-deaths/
Grannies out here making bank, and all ya'll care about is the sharp end of an egg.
Sources:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Plague_of_London
https://www.historyextra.com/period/stuart/women-of-the-plague/
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/uk-strangest-weird-laws-enforced-christopher-sargeant-sturgeon-armour-a7232586.html
https://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/cambridge-news/laws-uk-weird-door-knock-12755849
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17610820
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/calls-for-dead-laws-to-be-repealed-7618201.html
A monarch with a penchant for fertile uteri, plus a pair of innkeepers with a nasty whisky habit, they'll all soon learn that murder is the solution to any problem.
Need to shed a few pounds before mankini season? Try the hot new incarceration diet, and if that doesn't work, try chopping your balls off.
Half the nation is fleeing workhouses by any means necessary, while the other half is wearing 6 coats and ripping up lawns. Classic.
Harry wasn't the first royal to flee the throne, and your sister Peggy's bachelorette party wasn't the first penis straw.
London is a murderous place to be, whether you're a 1950's single mother with killer legs, or a 19th century servant girl drowning in all the hard work.
Hen on a hog with a one-way ticket to Shitterton. It doesn't make sense now, but it will.
Elspeth Beard mini-doc:
https://vimeo.com/256934157
The troubles that women take for beauty will amaze you. The laughs that rich men feel entitled to will not.
White wine baths and petticoat dogs. Poopoo paths and tunnel hogs.
This is England, ok.
Make a few bob splooshing a half litre of soapy water in a vagine, or hire a brass band to play off an autopsy. Baby's gotta hustle before it's too late.
A story about the mother of modern nursing, and the Cotswaldian athletic prowess that puts the sober to shame.
EPISODE GLOSSARY
DRIVELLER - stick 2-3 ft long
DWILE - wet wash rag
ELLIOTT - total gimp
FLONK/FLONKER - to play, player
GAZUNDER - chamber pot full of ale, from "goes-under the bed"
GIRTING - dancing in a circle, ring-around-the-rosie
JOBANOWL - referee, a dull-witted person
MORTHER - body hit
RIPPER - leg hit
SNURD - team
SWADGE - missed play, penalty
WANTON - head hit
Many profound discoveries have been accomplished by the best minds of our time. Penicillin, the combustion engine, the hormonal contraception pill, and the clearance pages of Argos. Among them is MI6's disappearing ink, and an appreciation for why it was quickly retired.
For more reading on the Tuam Mother & Baby Home, visit:
https://edition.cnn.com/2019/09/07/europe/ireland-mother-and-baby-homes-intl/index.html
Women doing the sportsing, that's preposterous! Then things get weird when a foreigner washes up on a beach with no trace of his past.