The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast: Recent Episodes
Caroline Strawson
The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast is to help women thrive after the devastating effects of trauma through narcissistic abuse. Hosted by Caroline Strawson, award winning Trauma Informed Coach & Therapist, founder of the Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme using a unique integration of tools such as EMDR, Brainspotting, Positive Psychology, Internal Family Systems, Breath Work and RTT, author (Divorce Became My Superpower) and speaker, this podcast is created to provide support, education and awareness around self healing, gaslighting, complex PTSD, codependency and surviving narcissistic abuse. This is a place where we understand the anger, toxicity and guilt you feel through the behaviours of a narcissist and this podcast is designed to help take you from trauma to transformation.
In this episode of No Visible Bruises, I’m exploring something that’s gone viral recently, Mel Robbins’ “Let Them” theory and whether it actually supports or harms survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse, and coercive control.On the surface, the “Let Them” approach sounds freeing. Let them ignore you. Let them walk away. Let them show you who they are. But when you’re a survivor, especially someone recovering from relational trauma, “letting them” isn’t always simple. It can activate shame, abandonment wounds, or even put you back in harm’s way.So today, I’m unpacking this idea through a trauma informed lens, asking:
•Can “Let Them” truly empower survivors?
•Or does it risk invalidating your trauma responses?
•What happens when “Letting Them” feels like fawning or freezing, not freedom?
I also weave in Internal Family Systems (IFS), one of the key therapeutic approaches I use to show how different parts inside of us might respond to “Let Them” in wildly different ways. One part might crave detachment. Another might panic at the thought of being dismissed.I’m reflecting on:
•Why some self-help theories, while well-meaning, need adaptation for trauma survivors
•How IFS helps us make sense of conflicting inner responses•What “Let Them” looks like from a somatic and parts-based perspective
•And how we can take what works from the theory while still honouring our healing processIf you’re trying to unhook from a narcissist or toxic family system, this episode is for you. It’s raw, reflective, and designed to help you feel seen, not shamed.Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.
Before we dive in, I’m thrilled to invite you to a free live masterclass I’m hosting, “Pain to Purpose: Building a Trauma Informed Business for Survivors of Narcissistic & Domestic Abuse.” on Sunday, the 29th of June. I’ll pop the link below and if you can join me live, fantastic. But even if you can’t, still register and I’ll send you the recording. If you’re reading this after the date of the 29th, still click on the link and I’ll send the recording over. Alone I can do so little, but collectively we can really facilitate a change in the world around narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control. And if you feel like your experiences must lead to somewhere, this master class could be for you. And of course, if not, ignore all of this.
https://carolinestrawson.com/purpose-masterclass?ref=podcast
In today’s episode, I’m talking about the physiology of gaslighting because most conversations about gaslighting focus on psychology, thoughts, beliefs, and mental manipulation. Today we flip that lens and explore the physiology: the tangible, bodily sensations that whisper, “Something isn’t right,” long before your conscious mind can name it.I’ll explain what gaslighting is, why? I never even knew what it was when I was in my relationship with my ex-husband and how it is a tool that abuses use to manipulate and control you. So if you’ve ever thought you were crazy in conversations with your partners, Ex partners or parents And never understood why, this episode is a must listen to. This form of psychological abuse is hidden and unseen and because there are no visible bruises, many of us don’t even realise it’s a form of abuse.Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.
In this episode, we shine a light on one of the most misunderstood forms of narcissistic abuse……..the covert narcissist.Unlike the loud, arrogant narcissist that many imagine, the covert narcissist operates in far more subtle and insidious ways. They may seem shy, quiet, or even vulnerable to the outside world but behind closed doors, the manipulation runs deep.In this episode, I explore:• What makes covert narcissistic abuse so hard to identify• Why survivors often doubt themselves and struggle to explain what’s happening• How covert narcissists use guilt, shame, victimhood, and passive aggression to control• The impact this has on your nervous system, your confidence, and your sense of self• The signs to look for if you think you’re dealing with oneWhether you're beginning to question your relationship or you've already escaped and are rebuilding, this episode will give you the clarity and validation you need.Understanding covert narcissism is a crucial step in healing because once you can name it, you can begin to untangle from it. Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises.
Disclaimer:The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.
In this eye-opening episode, I’m joined by Gina Blundell, a powerful voice and survivor of narcissistic and financial abuse. Together, we unpack the many layers and nuances of financial abuse, a form of control that often goes unseen, but leaves devastating scars.Gina bravely shares her own personal story of how financial control was used as a weapon, not just through the obvious withholding of money, but through subtle, manipulative tactics that stripped away autonomy, freedom, and safety.In our conversation, we explore:• The covert ways financial abuse shows up in narcissistic relationships• How money is used to isolate, punish, and control• Why financial abuse is so often misunderstood and even by professionals• The long-term impact on a survivor’s ability to rebuild security and trust• How Gina began reclaiming her financial and emotional independenceWhether you’ve experienced financial abuse yourself, or you work with survivors, this episode will deepen your understanding of the intersection between narcissistic control and economic disempowerment.Gina’s story is raw, real, and a reminder that healing is possible even after profound betrayal. If you wantt to get in touch with Gina, join her Facebook group www.facebook.com/groups/empoweringwomenthroughdivorce/ Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises.
Disclaimer:The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.
In this powerful and personal episode, I share my own survivor story as a woman who lived through the devastation of covert narcissistic abuse.I open up about the day my life completely changed when my covert narcissistic ex walked out, leaving me with two children, over £70,000 of debt, and a nervous system in collapse. I spiralled into depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and eventually complex PTSD. I lost my home, my confidence, and for a long time, my sense of self.This episode is for anyone who’s ever questioned their reality. Anyone who has been told it wasn’t abuse because there were no visible bruises snd anyone who has felt silenced, unseen, and deeply alone.You’ll hear about:• The subtle manipulations of a covert narcissist and how they break you down over time• The impact of emotional abuse on your identity, nervous system, and financial wellbeing• How post-separation abuse can be even more destructive than the relationship itself• The turning point in my healing and how I slowly rebuilt from the ground upThis isn’t just a story of survival, it’s a story of reclaiming power.Whether you’re still in the thick of it or working through the long tail of trauma, I hope this episode gives you the courage to believe that healing is not only possible, it’s inevitable with the right support. Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises.
Disclaimer:The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.
Narcissistic Abuse, Food Noise & Metabolic Disorder In this episode, I’m joined by Nikki Antonaccio, who shares how surviving narcissistic abuse as a child shaped everything from her relationship with food to her metabolism and how that trauma rewired her behaviour in ways that didn’t make sense until much later.We talk about how trauma from narcissistic abuse doesn’t just live in the mind, it lodges itself in the body, in the nervous system, in metabolism. For Nikki, it showed up as people-pleasing, chronic stress, disordered eating and shutdown and it’s not a lack of willpower. It’s survival.As Nikki shares her personal story, and how this led her to become the UK’s leaving Trauma Informed Nutritionist and I reflect on how she helped me see my own eating patterns in a different light. I wasn’t just making poor choices, my metabolism was shaped by what I’d lived through.We talk about everything, trauma, food, shame, nervous system, survival, the future of metabolic healing and why healing and losing weight after narcissistic abuse is so much deeper than calories in vs. calories out.Explore Nikki’s work here:
https://nikkiantonaccioonlinecoachingltd.dropfunnelsme.com/bvy-new24/bvy-new24
Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises
Disclaimer:The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available
This is not the kind of story that wraps up neatly with a bow. Rebecca Fraser’s story is raw, messy, and unfinished because healing after deep betrayal, family fracture, and years of abusive relationships with narcissists is never clean or simple. It’s the kind of survival story that digs into the parts most people don’t want to talk about, the shame, the loneliness, the repeated heartbreak, and the unbearable weight of carrying trauma in your body for years.In this episode, Rebecca shares her lived experience of growing up in a home torn apart by infidelity and addiction, being cast as the “problem child,” shuffled into foster care as a teenager, and entering a series of romantic relationships that only deepened her wounds. Alongside this emotional pain, she has been fighting a long battle with Lyme disease, a battle she believes was intensified by the unrelenting stress and trauma she endured.We explore the nervous system scars left by betrayal trauma, the painful roles children are assigned within dysfunctional families, and the long-term impact of being repeatedly gaslit, invalidated, and silenced not just by partners, but by family and community. Rebecca speaks openly about the heartbreak of losing friendships, the feeling of being “too much” for others, and the internal struggle of not trusting herself to choose safe people anymore. Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control:https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises.
Disclaimer:
The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.
In today’s episode, I sit down with Radka Crossley, an incredibly courageous woman whose story will stay with you long after the episode ends. Radka spent 18 years in an abusive marriage to a narcissist, but the roots of her pain began long before that. Raised by an alcoholic mother and an emotionally unavailable father, her nervous system was wired for survival from a very young age.Together, we explore how her early childhood environment shaped the parts of her that tolerated abuse, ignored red flags, and questioned her own worth. This episode is a powerful exploration of inner child wounding, attachment trauma, and how patterns of neglect and addiction in our upbringing can set the stage for toxic, coercive relationships later in life.Radka’s story is heartbreaking, raw, and full of insight but it’s also a story of resilience. You’ll hear how she began to slowly find her way back to herself, reclaiming her voice, and starting to understand that none of it was ever her fault.This one is especially for you if you’ve ever wondered,Why did I stay so long?Why do I keep attracting unavailable people?Why does this feel so familiar, even when it hurts?Radka’s story lifts the lid on the shame so many survivors carry and together, we bring compassion to the parts of her still holding the pain. This conversation will help you feel less alone and more seen in your own healing journey.Don’t ever be alone in your healing.Come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises, where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse, and coercive control:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises
Disclaimer:The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.
In today’s episode, I interview Mandy Metters, a recovered cocaine addict. You’ll hear her story of resilience, strength and shame that because of her abuse, she turned to drugs to numb out the pain of feeling worthless. She grew up with a narcissistic, alcoholic father and was diagnosed with bi polar. Or was this all because of trauma? Mandy’s courage and resilience shine through alongside the pain of the shame. You will see us examine those shame parts of her and the emotions still trapped in her body due to the trauma of experiencing narcissistic abuse. This one is definitely for you if you took a substance to numb out your pain and we lift that shame and celebrate the beauty of a nervous system trying to protect you.
Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.
In our 2nd episode of my rebranded podcast, No Visible Bruises sharing real survivor stories of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control, I sit down with Sandra Dec. I knew this would be a raw yet familiar conversation about narcissistic abuse. But very quickly, her story unfolded into something far more complex, a web of betrayal, cheating, hidden pasts, and shocking truths that could rival any Netflix drama.
What began as love was built on lies- bigamy, secret families, manipulation, and the slow erosion of self-worth. But Sandra’s story is not just about what happened to her. It’s about how she survived… and how she healed.
In this episode, we explore how trauma lives in the body and how reconnecting with physical awareness and grounding practices can help you heal. We unpack the patterns of deception and narcissistic abuse that creep in over time, often rooted in childhood wounds and shaped by familiar dynamics from narcissistic parenting.
We talk about emotional and financial abuse, the invisible kind, the slow self-sacrifice, the erosion of identity, the subtle control that doesn’t leave bruises. We go deep into the confusing experience of reactive abuse and self-blame, where victims are left doubting themselves more than their abuser.
And we explore why leaving isn’t as simple as walking away and how survival responses, fear, physiology, and a longing for love can keep people stuck in places they know are breaking them.
But this is also a story of rising. Of breaking generational cycles. Of embracing the shadow self and finding safety in truth, self-love, and the courage to reclaim identity.
This episode is for anyone who has ever doubted their reality. Who’s ever stayed too long. Who has ever been cheated on. Who’s learning to trust themselves again.
Sandra’s story will stay with you, not just because of the twists and turns, but because of her strength, her honesty, and the light she now shines for others.
So take a deep breath, and press play. This one is powerful.
Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control
https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises
.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.
Today marks the launch of our rebranded podcast, No Visible Bruises sharing real survivor stories of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control, and the long-lasting physiological impact of trauma not just the psychological.
In our very first episode, we sit down with Kirstie Haysman, who bravely shares her experience of narcissistic abuse and how it intertwines with her diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis.
This conversation is one not to miss.
We explore: • How chronic conditions like arthritis, fibromyalgia, IBS and others can be linked to the trauma of relational abuse • What happens in the body when we are exposed to long-term stress and emotional abuse • How healing is possible when we understand the connection between the nervous system and our physical health • The importance of working with the body, not against it
If you’ve ever wondered whether your chronic symptoms could be connected to your past and present experiences of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse & coercive control… If you’ve ever felt unseen in your pain… If you’ve ever questioned the invisible impact of emotional abuse…
This episode is for you.
Listen now, share with someone who needs it, and join us in shining a light on what’s been hidden for far too long.
Do not suffer alone and come and join my private FREE Facebook group - No Visible Bruises- Narcissistic Abuse, Domestic Abuse & Coercive Control https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises. Disclaimer: The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.
Can you imagine the hidden wounds left by a narcissist's mind games? My journey shows how abuse hurts more than just the heart. As a survivor of narcissistic abuse you often feel stuck, thinking your pain defines you, but real strength comes from understanding how trauma lives in the body.
By learning new ways to heal, like body-based therapy and nervous system support, people can rebuild their lives. The path from hurt to healing isn't quick, but it's about taking small, kind steps forward. Each victory whether earning your own money, finding a new career, or feeling stronger inside proves how tough you can be.
As a survivor you aren't trapped by what happened to you, but powered by your courage to create a new story and turn deep pain into real hope and growth.
0:00 Final Week of Trauma and Narcissism Redefined Podcast
2:41 Introduction to the New Facebook Community
5:39 Personal Story and Struggles
12:04 Journey to Financial Independence
14:42 Final Thoughts and Future Plans
Podcast Resources:
- Join my new community: No Visible Bruises - Survivor Stories of Narcissistic Abuse, Domestic Abuse & Coercive Control https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Do you know the invisible weight of transactional love?
As someone who has walked through the emotional minefield, I understand how every interaction becomes a calculated performance.
The narcissist conditions you to believe your worth is transactional and you constantly have to prove your value through endless giving, pleasing, and sacrificing. Your authentic self disappears and is replaced by a version carefully crafted to avoid criticism and earn microscopic fragments of affection. Each day becomes an exhausting dance of walking on eggshells, anticipating their next emotional manipulation. The trauma leaves invisible scars, making you question your own reality, your own memories. But healing is possible.
Recognising that your worth isn't determined by their validation is the first powerful step towards reclaiming your identity. You are valuable simply by existing, not by how perfectly you serve someone else's toxic narrative. Your survival is your strength.
0:00 Intro
2:13 The Future of the Podcast
3:37 Transactional Love and Personal Experiences
9:01 Impact of Transactional Love on Children
12:30 Challenges and Solutions for Parents and Survivors
15:12 Conclusion
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Have you ever stopped to ask yourself, are they really a narcissist? The complexities of narcissistic relationships can be overwhelming, leaving you questioning your own sanity. However, it's crucial to understand that the word "narcissist" is merely a label, not a definition of your worth.
The spectrum of narcissism is vast, with varying behaviors and traits that can make it challenging to pinpoint. Remember, no true narcissist would ever question their own narcissistic tendencies. If you find yourself pondering this, it's a sign that you're not the problem.
Instead, focus on your healing journey, as the path to recovery is not an easy one. Seek support, explore your emotions, and reclaim your voice. Your well-being is paramount, and with the right guidance, you can break free from the cycle of narcissistic abuse.
0:00 Introduction and Podcast Rebrand
1:14 Upcoming Episodes and Guest Interviews
2:48 Identifying Narcissists and the Narcissism Spectrum
4:44 Impact of Narcissistic Relationships on Victims
7:41 Physiological and Emotional Effects of Narcissistic Abuse
11:36 The Abuse Cycle and Trauma Bond
13:09 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Quiz link https://m.me/carolinestrawson?ref=podcast
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Are you tired of feeling powerless against narcissist abuse? I know the unseen scars left by narcissists can feel devastating, but you can change the narrative.
This year I will be launching a new podcast filled with real interviews and conversations with survivors like you, to give you an unmatched insight into the physical and psychological impacts of narcissistic abuse.
I will be sharing my tools to help you heal from narcissistic abuse such as somatic therapy, understanding your internal family systems, and more. This roadmap can help you reclaim your power and heal at the deepest level.
No longer will you feel alone in your struggle. You'll be inspired, empowered, and armed with the truth about narcissistic abuse that has been hidden for far too long.
Don't miss this transformative opportunity, your journey to recovery starts now. Sign up as a guest on the show here - https://form.jotform.com/caroline1973/podcast-guest-application
0:00 Rebranding Announcement and Podcast Vision
3:10 How to Become a Guest on my Show
5:11 Therapeutic Approaches and Healing Methods
6:05 Educational and Workshop Initiatives
8:37 Ownership and Responsibility in Healing
14:26 The Role of the Protector and Core Emotional Wounds
17:12 The Importance of Nervous System Healing
19:40 Final thoughts
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Have you struggled to let go of your relationship with a narcissist? The trauma bond created in narcissistic abuse can feel like an addiction, with physiological reasons behind the difficulty to break free.
Understanding the hormone secretions and brain chemistry involved is key to developing the necessary strategies, intention, and awareness to heal. Somatic tools and deep trauma work are essential for thriving after narcissistic abuse, as simply ignoring the situation or waiting for time to heal often falls short.
Recognising the unseen, psychological nature of this abuse, rather than focusing on visible bruises, is crucial. Becoming a cycle breaker and raising awareness about narcissistic traits and coercive control can empower both the individual and the broader community. With the right support and education, it is possible to overcome the trauma bond and reclaim your life after narcissistic abuse.
0:00 Trauma Bonding and Addiction
1:08 Upcoming Masterclass and Podcast Relaunch
8:04 Therapy and Coaching Techniques
8:20 Personal Journey and Healing
16:05 Support and Community
Podcast Resources:
-
Masterclass link https://carolinestrawson.com/trauma-bond
-
New podcast guest application form https://form.jotform.com/caroline1973/podcast-guest-application
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Has your narcissistic ex decided to ghost you? The experience can be gut-wrenching, as the sudden loss of communication triggers a physiological craving within your body.
Narcissistic abuse creates a trauma bond, where the mind and body become addicted to the abuser's presence.
Even when your rational mind knows it's unhealthy, your body may still yearn for the narcissist's attention.
This is fueled by the dopamine and cortisol surges that occur during the abuse cycle.
Resist the urge to question your worth. The narcissist's decision to ghost you is a tactic to maintain control and manipulate your emotions.
Instead, focus on your own healing journey and address the nervous system and emotional aspects of the trauma. Surround yourself with a supportive community and commit to self-care.
In time, you'll be grateful to have escaped the narcissist's toxic grasp. Your value is not defined by their fleeting actions, but by the strength you have within.
https://carolinestrawson.com/roadmap
0:00 Understanding Trauma and Narcissistic Abuse 1:09 Rebranding the Podcast and Therapy Integration 2:11 Ghosting and Trauma Bonds 4:31 The Physiological Impact of Narcissistic Abuse 8:26 Healing and Taking Control 10:43 Resources and Support for Survivors 12:11 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Watching a narcissist thrive in a new relationship can be gut-wrenching. The emotional turmoil of seeing the narcissist's apparent happiness, while you struggle to pick up the pieces is difficult.
Resist the urge to question your worth. The narcissist's facade of bliss is fleeting - their true nature will resurface. Their ability to manipulate and present a false image is a tactic to maintain their supply of adoration.
Focus on your own healing journey. Surround yourself with a supportive community and commit to self-care. In time, you'll be grateful to have escaped the narcissist's toxic grasp. Your value is not defined by their temporary happiness.
0:00 Rebrand Announcement and Introduction 1:20 Personal Experience with a Covert Narcissist 3:10 Emotional Toll and Self-Doubt 4:16 Understanding the Narcissist's New Relationship 5:14 Long-Term Impact and Healing 7:32 Healing Journey and Community Support 9:05 Final Encouragement and Resources
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Have you ever felt the sting of a narcissist's manipulation? The way they twist reality, gaslighting their victims into questioning their own sanity. This insidious and dark form of abuse, known as narcissistic abuse, leaves no visible scars, yet the emotional and psychological wounds run deep.
In a society that is quick to judge, the narcissist's public persona often masks the dark reality behind closed doors. The fear of not being believed can silence you, trapping you further in the narcissist's web of control.
It's time to break the silence and approach these delicate situations with empathy and compassion. By having open dialogues and creating safe spaces, we can free ourselves from narcissistic abuse to reclaim our voices and lives.
Only then can you truly begin to understand the complex dynamics of this narcissistic abuse, heal yourself and support others in need.
0:00 Narcissistic Abuse and Coercive Control
1:31 Social Media Reactions and Judgment
4:06 Impact of Judgmental Comments on Abuse Victims
4:34 Challenges of Communicating Narcissistic Abuse
8:45 Importance of Sensitivity and Compassion
9:02 Encouraging Open Communication and Support
10:05 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Have you ever taken a moment to reflect on how you treat yourself? It might feel uneasy, as we often treat ourselves worse than we would treat others. Imagine treating someone else the way you treat yourself – it would likely disturb you. But there's a way to improve this. In this episode, I'm discussing the topic of self-care. I admit I neglected self-care after my divorce, but now I've made it a vital part of my life. Because without self-care, true healing becomes difficult.
What you will learn in this episode:
- What self care looks like and what you can do to make time for yourself.
- How to find time for yourself even if you’re a mother with children or have a hectic work schedule.
- A holistic approach to healing to ensure we’re physically, emotionally and psychologically healthy.
I'll talk about my own self-care routine and share tips for incorporating it into your schedule. Whether it's just 5 minutes of solitude or treating yourself occasionally, these small acts can greatly aid in recovering from your past. Let's agree to make a pact – a promise to each other – that we'll prioritize self-care and extend the same kindness to ourselves as we do to our loved ones.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Are you an over-explainer? Do you find yourself constantly justifying your actions or decisions, even for the simplest of requests? This could be a lingering effect of narcissistic abuse.
If you have experienced this type of trauma you will often develop a habit of over-explaining as a defence mechanism. It's a way to protect yourself from the perceived judgment or disapproval of others. However, this behaviour can be exhausting and ultimately undermine your self-confidence.
Breaking free from the cycle of over-explanation requires acknowledging the root cause - the core emotional wounds that stem from narcissistic abuse. By recognising this pattern and consciously choosing to respond with clarity and self-assurance, you can reclaim your power and build healthier relationships. The journey may not be easy, but the rewards of self-acceptance and authentic communication are well worth the effort.
https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbanVOLVviNcqPps/?igsh=ajJyYzB3bDZtY2R1
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Have you been cheated on? I have and I want to help you.
The devastating impact of narcissistic abuse hidden behind the veil of cheating is a calculated tactic used by narcissists to wear down their partner's self-worth, isolate them, and maintain control.
This form of emotional and psychological abuse often goes unrecognized, leaving victims feeling responsible for their partner's actions.
My personal experience with a cheating narcissist is a reminder that cheating is not just a "mistake" but can be a manifestation of a deeper pattern of manipulation and coercive control. By shedding light on this complex issue, I want to empower you to break free from the cycle of narcissistic abuse and reclaim your sense of self-worth.
0:00 Introduction
2:50 The Impact of Cheating on Self-Worth
6:23 Personal Experiences with Cheating
11:24 Understanding Psychological and Emotional Abuse
14:15 The Role of Cheating in Manipulation
14:27 Encouraging Listeners to Seek Support
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Have you been through the narcissistic abuse cycle? The insidious pattern of love bombing, devaluation, and hoovering can leave you feeling trapped, questioning your own sanity. Caught in the web of this toxic dynamic, the trauma bond becomes a physiological addiction. Your body craves the dopamine highs and cortisol rushes, even as your mind yearns for peace. But know this: the fault lies not with you, but with the manipulative tactics of the narcissist.
Recognising the patterns of this cycle is the first step towards reclaiming your power. Through intentional self-care and somatic healing, you can break free from the narcissistic abuse and rediscover your true, authentic self. The journey may be arduous, but the rewards of liberation and self-love are worth the effort. Take that first brave step towards a life free from the narcissist's control.
0:00 Understanding Narcissistic Behavior
1:27 Caroline Strawson's Journey and Mission
2:29 Challenges of Leaving a Narcissistic Relationship
5:42 The Narcissistic Abuse Cycle: Love Bombing
8:49 The Narcissistic Abuse Cycle: Devaluation
11:14 The Narcissistic Abuse Cycle: Hoovering
13:19 Breaking the Trauma Bond
15:44 The Role of Somatic Healing in Trauma Recovery
17:10 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Ready to leave the narcissist's toxicity behind? It's time to take back control in 2025.
This year, make the bold decision to leave the narcissist in the past. Reclaim your power and your peace of mind. No more walking on eggshells or anticipating their next outburst. Embrace a future free from the narcissist's manipulation and abuse.
Healing is within your reach. By tuning into your body's signals and allowing yourself to fully feel and process your emotions, you can break the cycle. Discover the transformative power of somatic practices that calm the nervous system and restore your wellbeing.
Don't wait another day. Take the first step towards a life unburdened by the narcissist's influence. You deserve to thrive, not just survive. This is your year to break free and create the fulfilling, authentic life you desire.
Free Workshop - The 3 Stages Of Healing Trauma After Narcissistic Abuse
https://www.carolinestrawson.com/three-stages-of-trauma
0:00 Navigating the Year Ahead with Narcissistic Abuse 2:01 Personal Update and Office Move 4:03 The Impact of Narcissistic Abuse on the Body 8:48 Navigating Emotions and Healing 11:30 Upcoming Masterclass and Support 13:56 Commitment to Healing in 2025
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
What can you do to heal from the trauma of narcissistic abuse and regain your power in 2025? You have to set small, achievable goals rather than grand resolutions that often lead to failure.
You have to focus on one manageable step at a time and understand the impact of trauma and narcissistic abuse on your life. You need to heal by doing nervous system regulation and addressing the root causes of trauma.
By breaking down goals into bite-sized chunks and adopting a mindset of "for now," you will empower yourself to build sustainable habits as well as prioritise self-care, even amidst the challenges of healing from narcissistic abuse. With the support of my free masterclass and community, you have to guide you towards regaining your true potential in the new year.
Free Workshop - The 3 Stages Of Healing Trauma After Narcissistic Abuse
carolinestrawson.com/three-stages-of-trauma
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Are you ready to break free from the shackles of narcissistic abuse and reclaim your life?
Healing from narcissistic trauma requires intentionality and a deep understanding of the impact on your nervous system. Gone are the days of simply waiting for time to heal all wounds. Instead, you must actively engage in embodied practices that address the physiological responses triggered by the narcissist's behavior.
This isn't about changing the narcissist - that's an impossible task. Rather, it's about reclaiming your power by transforming the way your body and mind react to the trauma. With the right support and strategies, you can break free from the cycle of shame and self-doubt, and step into a future filled with self-compassion and authentic connection. Your journey to wholeness begins now, and the path forward is within your reach.
0:00 Navigating Narcissistic Trauma and Abuse 5:08 Creating a Supportive Environment 5:22 Addressing Shame and Self-Care 6:22 The Role of Self-Care in Healing 7:07 The Limits of Talk Therapy and the Importance of Embodied Healing 9:17 The Three Stages of Healing After Narcissistic Abuse 10:50 Community Support and Resources 11:03 The Importance of Intentionality in Healing
12:27 Encouragement and Final Thoughts
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Have you been dreading the holiday season due to the presence of narcissistic individuals in your life? I have a transformative solution which is guided meditation.
By focusing on grounding exercises and intentional breathwork, you can effectively down-regulate your nervous system and cultivate a sense of safety, even amidst the stress.
Affirmations like "I am allowed to feel joy" and "I deserve peace" empower you to embrace your emotions and reclaim your right to happiness. Rooted in scientific principles, this meditation equips you with practical tools to manage triggers and approach interactions with narcissists from a place of calm logic, rather than survival responses.
With this powerful practice in your toolkit, you can navigate the holidays with greater ease and self-compassion, taking crucial steps towards healing.
0:00 Navigating Holiday Stress with Meditation
3:26 Introduction to the Meditation
5:00 Breathwork and Grounding Techniques
7:09 Embracing Emotions and Building Inner Strength
9:43 Science Behind Meditation and Narcissistic Abuse
12:23 Support and Community
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Grief can resurface at any stage of your healing journey, even years after a traumatic event, and giving space to these emotions is crucial for your well-being.
I reflect on my own experience of grief resurfacing during a funeral, and how allowing myself to fully feel and express those emotions was essential for my recovery.
By addressing the sensations and emotions in our body, you can better navigate your healing journey from narcissistic abuse, toxic relationships and childhood trauma. Being emotionally aware and using self-compassion, particularly when it comes to the grieving process, is an essential part of the recovery process.
Key Topics Covered:
- Addressing grief in healing from narcissistic abuse
- Personal experience with resurfacing grief
- Stages of grief and the need to process emotions
- Suppressing emotions, the nervous system, and physical health
- Emotional awareness and self-compassion in recovery
- Creating a platform for survivors to share stories
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
It’s almost Christmas time again and the holiday season is starting to get into its swing! Because of the rapidly approaching festive season, I want to share with you how to cope with the narcissist over the next month as it’s very common for the narcissist to ramp up their aggressiveness at this time of the year. From dealing with Christmas dinners with a narcissist to who has the kids for certain events, the holiday season can be really demanding for those who have to deal with a narcissist, so listen in so you can learn how you can cope over the holidays.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How to minimize the time you spend with a narcissist over the holidays
- Ways to stop the narcissist from getting their supply
- The traps narcissists will set under the guise of holiday spirit
I’ll also discuss how to set up a new communication method if you need to communicate with a narcissistic person without letting them back into your life. I hope this episode helps you prepare and plan for a great holiday time and helps you stop the narcissist in their tracks so they can’t ruin your festivities.
Resources:
Get a copy of my masterclass: https://carolinestrawson.com/dangers-of-a-narcissist
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Have you ever felt like your emotions were dismissed or invalidated by someone close to you? The manipulative tactic known as gaslighting is often used by narcissists to undermine your sense of reality.
Narcissists are driven by a deep-seated need for control and validation and use gaslighting as a means to maintain power over you.
This is a form of emotional abuse that chips away at your confidence, making you question your own perceptions and experiences.
The narcissist's goal is to create a parallel reality where you become reliant on their version of events, ultimately losing touch with your own sense of self.
By recognising the signs of gaslighting, you will take the first step towards reclaiming your autonomy and break free from the narcissist's grip.
Staying vigilant for phrases that dismiss, minimise, or deny your reality is crucial in identifying this manipulative behaviour. With self-awareness and access to support, you can begin the journey of healing and personal transformation, ultimately finding the light at the end of the tunnel.
Key topics covered in this episode:
- Understanding gaslighting and its impact on victims
- The nature of trauma and personal transformation
- Common gaslighting phrases used by narcissists
- The psychological impact of gaslighting on victims
- Resources and support for those experiencing narcissistic abuse
Get a copy of my masterclass: https://carolinestrawson.com/dangers-of-a-narcissist
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
What is the hidden danger of the narcissist that we must be aware of? Through my personal journey of healing from narcissistic abuse, I know the importance of understanding the narcissist's behaviour and the impact it has on our self-worth and trauma.
You need to shift the focus from the narcissist to your own healing, as continuing to obsess over the narcissist only perpetuates the cycle of abuse.
In my masterclass I will give you practical insights and strategies to help you recognize the red flags of a narcissist, handle relationships with toxic individuals, and ultimately reclaim their power. By attending this masterclass, individuals can take a significant step towards breaking free from the hidden dangers of the narcissist and embarking on a transformative healing journey.
Sign up to the masterclass: https://carolinestrawson.com/dangers-of-a-narcissist
Key topics covered in this episode:
- The importance of understanding narcissistic abuse and trauma through evidence-based approaches
- The desire to know everything about narcissistic abuse and the challenges it presents
- The overuse of the term "narcissist" in society and its impact on those who have experienced true narcissistic abuse
- The concept of post-separation abuse and the prevalence of narcissists in various relationships
- The announcement of a free masterclass on the "Hidden Dangers of the Narcissist"
- The emphasis on personal healing and understanding one's own emotional wounds rather than solely focusing on the narcissist
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Have you ever heard your partner say, "Don't worry, I'll handle everything and put it in my name," or "Just let me know if you need anything"? While these phrases might seem like generosity, they can actually be signs of financial abuse. In this episode, I’ll explore covert financial abuse and how narcissists use it to gain control, leaving you with little financial independence and making it hard to leave the relationship. But fear not, I'll guide you on reclaiming your financial independence and safely exiting the relationship.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How narcissists hide their control behind generosity.
- Why so many people suffer from covert financial abuse without noticing.
- How to become financially independent and safely leave a narcissist.
I’ll share a story about a woman I once helped. She left her partner after enduring years of financial abuse, where nothing, not even her phone number, was in her name. She couldn't even get a phone in her own name due to her lack of credit history, as everything financial was tied to her partner. Tune in to discover how you can regain control of your finances and prevent a situation like this. It's important to know that healing from this form of narcissistic abuse is possible.
Introversion, anxiety, empathy… these definitely aren’t behaviours we think of when we picture a narcissist, but they are the traits that the hardest to spot narcissists have. Let me introduce you to the covert narcissist. The covert narcissist can fly under the radar until it’s too late, and I want to share with you 10 signs that someone may be a covert narcissist to help you steer clear of them, whether they’re your current partner, a potential partner, a friend or even a family member.
What you will learn in this episode:
- The traits of the common covert narcissist
- How the covert narcissist differs from the overt narcissist
- Why the covert narcissist is often the most dangerous
We often associate grandiosity, extraversion, confidence, and a 'look-at-me' attitude with narcissism. While it's important to note that not everyone displaying these traits is a narcissist, they serve as warning signs that help us avoid falling for another narcissist. However, it's crucial to recognize that not all narcissists fit the same mold. The covert narcissist, in particular, poses the greatest danger because they don't exhibit the stereotypical narcissistic behaviour. This makes it much easier to unknowingly fall into their trap.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Do you ever notice that whenever there's a special event in your life, like Christmas, a birthday, or an anniversary, there's always someone who seems to spoil the celebration? This behaviour is often associated with narcissism. In this episode, I’ll explore why narcissists often disrupt special occasions, how to identify the warning signs, and I’ll share tips on how to navigate these moments.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How narcissists attempt to spoil special occasions.
- Preparing yourself to cope with such behaviour.
- Understanding why narcissists choose special occasions for their abusive actions.
This individual might not only be your partner; it could be a family member like a father, mother, brother, or sister. Their presence can make special events challenging. Therefore, my goal for this episode is to assist you in handling these significant occasions and upcoming holidays with a clear plan of action.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In a narcissistic relationship, it's common to blame ourselves for the problems instead of the narcissist. Discovering your partner's infidelity often intensifies this self-blame, making you think, "It's my fault." I'm here to affirm that you are enough, and you should hold your partner accountable for their actions. It's time to reclaim your power and begin the journey to heal from this abusive relationship. That's the focus of this episode.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How narcissists gaslight you to believe it’s your fault for them cheating.
- Why you musn’t blame yourself for anything the narcissist does.
- How narcissists cheat to get more control over you.
I'll share my personal experience of discovering my husband's infidelity and how he wrongly made me believe it was my fault. I've since realized it wasn't my fault, and I wish I hadn't blamed myself back then. In this episode, I want to emphasize that everything the narcissist does is not your fault. You have the strength to navigate this challenging period and start the journey to remove the narcissist from your life.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Do you feel stuck in your healing journey from trauma and narcissistic abuse, struggling to find a way forward?
You may find yourself feeling frustrated, like you’ve been talking about your pain without truly healing.
Traditional talk therapy, while helpful, often overlooks the body’s role in healing. To move forward, you must address the nervous system, where trauma is stored. Somatic healing techniques such as EMDR, breathwork, and internal family systems can help process emotions, reduce triggers, and reconnect you to your sense of self.
This journey is about more than talking—it’s about feeling in order to heal. By embracing this holistic approach, you’ll begin to notice the emotional weight lifting, allowing you to experience true freedom and growth. Healing is within your reach, and with these tools, you can take the first step toward a thriving life.
Key topics covered in this episode:
- Healing from narcissistic abuse
- Breaking free from talk therapy limitations
- Nervous system healing for trauma
- Somatic practices
- Reclaiming your sense of self through holistic healing
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Are you living in a state of dissociation? If you have experienced long-term toxic or a narcissistic relationship you may find yourself disconnected from your body to numb out the emotional pain.
Dissociation is a protective mechanism, but it's not a healthy way to live. Dissociation can lead to chronic illness, difficulty engaging socially, and a lack of joy and connection. To shift out of this state, you must learn to reconnect with the body through somatic healing practices. This process is not easy, as we're often not taught to embrace our emotions, especially as women. However, by understanding the neuroscience behind dissociation and the importance of working with the nervous system, you can reclaim their sense of presence and groundedness, paving the way for true healing and growth.
Key topics covered in this episode:
- Dissociation as a trauma response
- Nervous system regulation for healing
- Freeze response and physical impacts
- Somatic healing for mind-body reconnection
0:00 Understanding Trauma and Dissociation 3:14 The Role of Neuroscience and Somatic Practices in Healing 4:11 The Freeze Response and Its Impact on the Body 6:59 Long-Term Effects of Dissociation on Health 8:52 Shifting Out of Dissociation and Reconnecting with the Body 11:07 The Importance of Somatic Healing 11:49 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Being codependent could be the reason why you are struggling to heal abuse. Narcissists use "love bombing" tactics to make their codependent partners feel worthy and exploit your lack of self-worth.
When a narcissist's abusive behaviours (e.g., shouting, silent treatment) trigger your codependent's core wound of not feeling good enough, it can lead to chronic illness due to the body's stress response.
The key to escaping this narcissistic trap is to recognise your own self worth and break the codependent cycle through corrective experiences. This will help you avoid toxic relationships, cultivating self-acceptance, and not seeking external validation to feel worthy.
Key topics covered in this episode:
- How narcissists use "love bombing" tactics at the start of a relationship
- What codependency looks like for you as a parent or partner
- Why codependency makes you vulnerable to narcissists
- What to do to heal your core wounds
- How to break the cycle of codependency
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Order your copy of One More Day now at www.onemoredaybook.com Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of suicide and suicidal ideation.
If someone you know is struggling emotionally or having a hard time, you can be the difference in getting them the help they need. It’s important to take care of yourself when you are supporting someone through a difficult time. If you or a loved one is struggling or in crisis, call or text 988 for support.
Today I sit down with award-winning Positive Psychologist, Keynote Speaker, Business Mentor, and author Niyc Pidgeon to discuss her new book "One More Day." Niyc shares her personal experiences with suicide, including a childhood suicide attempt and the loss of three close friends to suicide in her 20s.
Niyc and I delve into the impact of social media and online bullying on suicide rates, particularly among young people. We emphasise the importance of fostering genuine connections and support systems, as well as the role of practical, easy-to-implement tools in building resilience and hope.
She encourages listeners to take small steps, reach out to trusted confidants, and use the resources and strategies outlined in her book to support their own mental health and that of their loved ones.
Key topics covered in this episode:
- Niyc's personal experiences with suicide and the concept of "positive suicidology"
- The impact of social media and online bullying on suicide rates
- The importance of connection, support, and practical tools for building resilience
- Niyc's vision for a future where suicide is no longer a prevalent issue
- Practical steps listeners can take to support their own and others' mental health
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Order my NEW book here: https://carolinestrawson.showit.site/book
In this episode, I share a deep conversation I had with my children while on holiday, discussing how to navigate online bullies and trolls, especially in the wake of my recent media appearances discussing narcissistic abuse. I talk about the overwhelmingly positive response I received after being featured on the popular UK daytime TV show This Morning, where I was finally able to bring the topic of narcissistic abuse into the mainstream.
I reflect on the importance of being a positive role model for our children, particularly when it comes to navigating the challenges of social media and online bullying. Remember that your worth is not defined by your appearance or any other external factors, and that we must stay strong in our mission to shine a light on the realities of narcissistic abuse.
Key topics covered in this episode:
- Navigating online bullies and trolls
- Bringing narcissistic abuse into the mainstream media
- Dealing with misogynistic and abusive comments
- The importance of self-worth and not letting negativity define us
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Join my FREE masterclass on How To Parent With A Narcissist: https://carolinestrawson.com/parenting-masterclass
Order my NEW book here: https://carolinestrawson.showit.site/book
On today's episode of Trauma and Narcissism Redefined, I'm discussing the difficulties of parenting alongside a narcissist - even after separation. Narcissists will often try to use your children against you, whether that be through forcing you to rely on them financially, influencing their opinion of you directly, or using the court system against you in the case of divorce.
In fact when you go through a divorce with a narcissist the abuse doesn't stop, it often escalates. This is known as post-separation abuse, and only through understanding their methods and healing yourself can you break out of the cycle.
Key topics covered in this episode:
- The impact of narcissistic abuse on parenting and self-worth
- Strategies for setting boundaries through parallel parenting
- Techniques for managing your emotions and nervous system
- The difference between changing the situation and managing your internal response
Join me for my free How To Parent With A Narcissist masterclass, live on Sunday 15th September. In it I'll be covering key strategies like parallel parenting, nervous system regulation, and the importance of putting your own oxygen mask on first before supporting your children. Sign up even if you can't attend live as I'll be sending out the recording afterwards
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Join the waitlist for my Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coaching Certification: https://carolinestrawson.com/ntic-waitlist
Order my NEW book here: https://carolinestrawson.showit.site/book
I've dedicated my life to understanding and overcoming the devastating effects of narcissistic abuse. In this episode, I take you on a deeply personal journey, sharing how my own harrowing experience with a narcissistic ex-husband opened my eyes to the insidious nature of this form of domestic abuse.
When I was trapped in that toxic relationship, I thought my ex was simply a "cheat" - but as I delved deeper, I realised the betrayal ran far deeper. The silent treatment he used as a tool of manipulation and control was just one of the many ways he systematically eroded my self-worth and sense of self. By understanding the complexities of behaviours like silent treatment and cheating, we can begin to break free from the cycle of abuse and reclaim our power.
Key topics covered in this episode:
- The insidious nature of silent treatment as a tool of narcissistic abuse
- The impact of narcissistic abuse on one's sense of self-worth and how to heal from it
- The complexities of cheating and its role in narcissistic relationships
- Distinguishing between healthy and abusive silence
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Join the waitlist for my Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coaching Certification: https://carolinestrawson.com/ntic-waitlist
Order my NEW book here: https://carolinestrawson.showit.site/book
In this episode, I explore the importance of addressing trauma and narcissistic abuse not just through traditional talk therapy, but also through somatic and nervous system-based approaches. I am passionate about advocating for a "top-down and bottom-up" approach that combines cognitive processing with healing the body and nervous system.
I share my own journey of discovering these somatic modalities and my frustration at being dismissed by the mainstream mental health system for not having a psychology degree, despite my extensive training and success in helping people heal. I am on a mission to bring more awareness to the need for integrating somatic practices into trauma and abuse recovery.
In this episode, we will explore:
- Why you can’t JUST talk about trauma and narcissistic abuse
- The importance of also feeling, processing, and healing the nervous system
- My personal experience with traditional talk therapy providing leading me to believe you can’t heal through talking alone
- My discovery of somatic modalities like EMDR, brain spotting, and breathwork to address the nervous system and body
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Order my NEW book here: https://carolinestrawson.showit.site/book
In this episode, I explore the concept of reactive abuse - how narcissists can provoke their partners to react in ways that make the partner appear to be the abuser, when in fact they are the victim of the narcissist's manipulation.
I also discuss the feeling of not recognising oneself due to the changes in behaviour brought about by being in a relationship with a narcissist. I explain the dynamics of reactive abuse and provide guidance on how to navigate this challenging situation safely.
In this episode, we will explore:
- Understanding Reactive Abuse: What it is and how narcissists use it to manipulate their partners
- Navigating Safety and Exit Strategies: Prioritising safety when leaving a relationship with a narcissist
- Managing Emotional Reactions: Techniques for regulating the nervous system to avoid being provoked
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Order my NEW book here: https://carolinestrawson.showit.site/book
Are you aware of the hidden relationship between ADHD and Trauma? Today I delve into ADHD and trauma, exploring how these two conditions often overlap and influence each other. By understanding this crossover, we can better support those affected by both ADHD and trauma.
ADHD and trauma can create a complex interplay of symptoms and challenges, often making it difficult for individuals to navigate daily life. By shedding light on how these conditions intersect, we aim to provide valuable insights and practical advice for those seeking to understand and manage their experiences better.
In this episode, we will explore:
- The connection between ADHD and trauma and how they can coexist
- How trauma can impact ADHD symptoms and vice versa.
- The importance of proper diagnosis and tailored treatment plans.
- Effective strategies and therapies for managing symptoms and improving quality of life.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Order my NEW book here: https://carolinestrawson.showit.site/book
Are you stuck waiting for some external validation to prove that you are enough? That you deserve to be happy? Well guess what, you DO deserve to be happy, but you don’t need a knight in shining armour to come along and save you to prove it.
It’s easy to tie your worth to another person, but their validation may be narcissistic behaviour pretending to be “the good guy”. You are worth it for who you are, not for what people say about you.
In this episode, we will explore:
- The motivations behind narcissistic behaviour
- Recognising the signs of a narcissist posing as your knight in shining armour
- Why you are a worthwhile person for who you are, not for how you are perceived
I also discuss some of my core wounds to help you see how I broke free of the narcissistic cycle, and how you too can prove to yourself that you are enough.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Order my NEW book here: https://carolinestrawson.showit.site/book
There are ten distinct types of narcissism, but the most prevalent is the communal narcissist. 'Communal Narcissism' is characterised by the same sense of entitlement and grandiosity familiar from traditional narcissism, but is often hidden under the guise of doing the right thing.
When you first encounter a communal narcissist, it's unlikely that you will immediately recognise them as such. It often takes time to discern their personality traits and realise that their intentions may not be as sincere as you initially thought.
If you notice someone portraying themselves as the "good guy" in public but acting quite differently in private, there is a strong possibility they are a communal narcissist.
In this episode, we will explore:
- The signs of communal narcissism
- Why people become communal narcissists
- How to set boundaries around narcissists
Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Order my NEW book here: http://carolinestrawson.com/pre-order
It’s official – my new book has launched, and I’m absolutely thrilled to share it with you all! Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would be writing about my journey through a relationship with a covert narcissist. Eleven years ago, I hit rock bottom, both mentally and financially. Each day was a struggle to stave off panic attacks as I battled complex PTSD, feeling trapped in an endless nightmare.
In my book, I open up about the darkest period of my life and share how I managed to overcome these seemingly insurmountable obstacles. My hope is that my story will inspire and offer support to those facing similar struggles - because even in our darkest moments, there is always a path to recovery and renewal.
In this episode, we will explore:
- The Journey of Healing
- Recognising Covert Narcissism
- Surviving and Thriving After Abuse
- Raising Children Amidst Chaos
Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Pre-order my NEW book here: http://carolinestrawson.com/pre-order
Celebrities, just like regular people, sometimes face abusive relationships with narcissists. In this episode, I'll explore how these high-profile individuals cope with such challenges and heal from their emotional wounds. Drawing from my experience working with celebrities, I'll share valuable insights into their coping mechanisms and the lessons we can all learn from their experiences.
In this episode, we will explore:
- Why abusive relationships don’t end when the abuse first starts
- The impact fame and money has on individuals suffering abuse
- How celebrities tend to mask their pain instead of heal
I'll explore the reasons behind celebrities' struggles with alcohol or drug abuse, as well as the common tendency among all of us, including celebrities, to seek ways to mask our pain instead of addressing it directly. It's crucial to remember that we can't fully understand someone else's experiences, so we should avoid passing judgment on their relationships. However, we can draw valuable lessons from high-profile abusive relationships to aid in our own healing journeys. Let's focus on using these insights to facilitate personal growth and healing.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Pre-order my NEW book here: http://carolinestrawson.com/pre-order
I knew that stress & trauma could cause physical issues, but I never knew it could affect your gums!
Following my abusive relationship and stressful divorce I began noticing the physical toll it took on me, but it’s only recently I noticed the impact on my gums. I have been ignoring frequent gum bleeding, but lately it has turned into chronic inflammation and pain, prompting me to seek help.
My dentist diagnosed me with gum disease and explained how stress weakens the immune system, making it harder to fight infections, including those in the mouth. It’s so easy to miss these signs when you’re in a fight, flight, or freeze response, making it extra important we remind each other to look after our physical health as well as our mental health. If you're experiencing emotional distress, pay attention to your body's signals and take steps to care for your entire self.
In this episode, we will explore:
- How stress and trauma can negatively impact oral health, leading to gum disease
- The importance of recognising the link between mental health and physical well-being
- Effective strategies for prioritising mental health to improve overall health
- The significance of monitoring gum health and seeking professional advice early on to prevent serious consequences
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Pre-order my NEW book here:
http://carolinestrawson.com/pre-order
At forty, I believed my life was over. I had just ended a relationship with a covert narcissist and felt he had taken the best years of my life, leaving me with nothing but a downhill journey.
However, I came to realise that I was blaming others for my feelings and was stuck in a functional freeze response. On the surface, I seemed to function normally, going through the motions of daily life and maintaining appearances. Yet, deep inside, I was grappling with trauma that I hadn't fully acknowledged or addressed.
This internal struggle left me feeling isolated and disconnected from my true self, as I had built a façade to hide my pain. It became clear that to truly heal, I needed to confront these buried emotions and take responsibility for my own healing journey.
In this episode, we will explore:
- Why we shouldn’t blame other people for how we feel
- How to break out of a functional freeze response
- Beginning to heal after a narcissistic relationship
My new book, ‘How To Heal After Narcissistic Abuse’ really is your essential guide to leading a better life and not blaming yourself for what happened in your narcissistic and abusive relationships. Where you are right now isn’t where you have to stay.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Pre-order my NEW book here: http://carolinestrawson.com/pre-order
Join my FREE Trauma Bonding Masterclass, 8pm BST Sunday 30th June: https://carolinestrawson.com/trauma-bond
Even if you can’t attend live, sign up to be sent a copy of the recording after it concludes.
We’ve all experienced trauma. It isn’t an event or person, it’s what happens inside of us and that can reinforce how we feel. It’s a weight you carry everywhere you go.
You can’t talk yourself through healing, you have to feel to heal. I want you to thrive and flourish and step into post-traumatic growth, leading a better life than the one you’re trying to leave behind.
In this episode, we will explore:
- Not blaming yourself for always being in narcissistic relationships
- What it means to “feel to heal”
- Tapping into your past and beginning to move forward
My new book, ‘How To Heal After Narcissistic Abuse’ really is your essential guide to leading a better life and not blaming yourself for what happened in your narcissistic and abusive relationships. Where you are right now isn’t where you have to stay.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Join my FREE Trauma Bonding Masterclass, 8pm BST Sunday 30th June: https://carolinestrawson.com/trauma-bond
Even if you can’t attend live, sign up to be sent a copy of the recording after it concludes.
Do you find yourself constantly attracting toxic and narcissistic individuals, unable to break free from the cycle? You’re not alone. This isn't just a coincidence—it’s an addiction. But rest assured, there is hope and a brighter future awaits you.
Reflecting on my own experience, I remember the dark days spent in a toxic and narcissistic relationship with my ex-husband. Each day, I felt more worthless, often finding my only solace in the comfort of baggy tracksuits. I was paralysed, unable to muster the energy or desire to do anything at all.
In this episode, we will explore:
- Why We’re Drawn to Narcissists
- Breaking Free from Abusive Relationships
- The Brain and Body's Role in Trauma Bonding
This cycle of despair is rooted in a phenomenon known as trauma bonding. Trauma bonding is more than just an emotional connection; it’s a physiological addiction that takes hold within our bodies, always hoping for a lasting change that never comes. Understanding this can be the first step towards breaking free and reclaiming your life.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Join the waitlist for my Safe and Sound Protocol program: https://carolinestrawson.com/ssp-waitlist
Do you ever find yourself unable to enjoy the music you once loved or find that your ears are particularly sensitive to loud noises?
You're not alone. This can be a common experience for those who have endured significant stress or trauma. In my case, I experienced this first-hand during my marriage to my ex-husband, who was a covert narcissist.
Over time, I developed a heightened sensitivity to sound. If someone dropped something near me, I wouldn't just startle like most people; I would jump out of my skin. This extreme response is a common consequence of narcissistic abuse and trauma.
In this episode, we will explore:
- What is a heightened startle response?
- How to manage and overcome it
- The biology behind heightened startle responses
- Why we tune out background noise and focus on human voices
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Pre-order my new book here: http://carolinestrawson.com/pre-order
Narcissism is a topic I’m really passionate about because I believe it’s widely misunderstood. The term "narcissistic" is often overused in our society, with many people being labelled as narcissists without truly exhibiting those traits.
Misusing the word "narcissistic" diminishes the experiences of those who have genuinely suffered from narcissistic abuse, invalidating their trauma and making it harder for them to be heard and understood.
In this episode, we will explore:
- The importance of breaking the taboo around narcissism and discussing it openly
- The need to share and acknowledge our experiences with abusive relationships without shame
- The fact that domestic abuse is not the only form of abuse and why recognising other forms is crucial
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Join my FREE parenting masterclass: https://carolinestrawson.com/parenting-masterclass
Parenting and narcissism are two words that should not be in any sentence. This abuse is not something you should have to deal with whilst trying to raise a family.
In this episode, we'll delve into:
- Understanding the traits and actions of a narcissistic co-parent and how they impact both you and your children.
- Strategies to shield your kids from the emotional and psychological effects of having a narcissistic parent.
- Practical advice on how to co-parent effectively with a narcissist, including setting boundaries and maintaining clear communication.
When I split up from my ex my children were 3 and 6 years old, and it was tough. Had I not split up from my ex husband, I would’ve still been codependent and feeling a lack of self-worth, which would have rubbed off on my children.
Now my kids are the kindest, most compassionate and self-confident young adults. They know that they are good enough for who they are and nobody else’s behaviour is ever a reflection of them. I am so incredibly fortunate to have them, and an important part of them becoming such brilliant young adults was my own healing journey.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Pre-order my new book here: http://carolinestrawson.com/pre-order
Are you struggling to find the mojo to get out and exercise again after you’ve experienced trauma? Maybe you’ve broken out of an abusive relationship and want to lose weight, but you just keep struggling?
Trauma, whether physical or emotional, can significantly impact your motivation and ability to engage in healthy behaviours. It’s perfectly normal to feel this way, and the journey to reclaiming your health and vitality can be challenging but incredibly rewarding. Understanding how trauma affects your mind and body is the first step towards recovery.
In this episode, we'll delve into:
- The science behind how our brain, mind, and body collaborate
- Understanding the motivation to exercise and why struggling to find it doesn’t mean you’re lazy or weak
- Discovering your own exercise routine without feeling pressured to conform to others
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Have you found yourself entangled with narcissistic individuals, struggling with a freeze response, or experiencing trauma bonding? If so, you're not alone.
Join me in the launch of my latest book, "How To Heal After Narcissistic Abuse." This project is deeply personal, born from my own tumultuous journey through a challenging marriage with a covert narcissist. Back then, I didn't even understand what a narcissist truly was. It was a frightening experience, one shrouded in shame.
Throughout that ordeal, I constantly blamed myself, unaware of the emotional, psychological, and financial abuse I was enduring.
Manipulated into believing I was at fault, I wish I had a guide like this to navigate my healing journey. But today, I'm grateful to be in a place where I can share this resource with you all. This book represents a collective step towards healing for each one of us.
In this episode, we'll delve into:
- The significance of addressing narcissism in our society
- How my book provides a roadmap for healing from narcissistic relationships
- Exploring the various analogies used to understand narcissistic behaviour
Pre-order my new book here:
http://carolinestrawson.com/pre-order
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Have you struggled to heal from past trauma or difficult childhood experiences? Do you find yourself stuck in unhealthy patterns or coping mechanisms without fully understanding why? What if there was a therapeutic approach that could help you gain insight into your inner world and see yourself and others in a more compassionate light?
Internal Family Systems therapy has helped many people recover from trauma by bringing awareness to how our experiences from the past still influence us today. Tune in to this episode to learn how exploring your core wounds through IFS may provide the breakthrough you've been looking for in your personal growth and healing journey.
In this episode, we dive into:
- Parts therapy: Neuroscience-based trauma healing.
- Exiles and protectors: Resolve underlying issues.
- Childhood impacts: Insight into present life.
- IFS principles: Better relationships, well-being.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
There is a growing trend of women receiving diagnosis of borderline personality disorder or bipolar. The symptoms of which often arise from their experiences in abusive relationships.
Unfortunately, when these women seek help, they are frequently misdiagnosed. Instead of receiving appropriate support, they are often told to medicate and move on with their lives.
However, this approach is inadequate. Women in abusive relationships should be provided with the necessary help to break free from these situations. Furthermore, they should be supported in rebuilding their confidence and sense of self-worth.
In this episode, we delve into:
- Why women are being misdiagnosed with these conditions
- Why we need to rephrase ‘disorders’ and call them responses
- Understanding the root cause of why these behaviours show up
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Have you ever found yourself in a cycle of leaving an unhealthy relationship only to return, feeling trapped and unable to break free? This phenomenon, known as trauma bonding, is one I know well from my time with my ex-husband, but also stemming from my relationship to my father.
In this episode, we delve into:
- What is trauma bonding and how to recognise it
- How trauma bonding affects all types of relationships, not just romantic ones
- The negative impact it can have on your self-perception
Trauma bonding can evoke feelings of frustration and vulnerability, often leading to a sense of powerlessness. Together, we explore the root causes, identify potential perpetrators, and discuss strategies to overcome trauma bonding once and for all.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Do you ever experience a sense of detachment from your surroundings? Even in the presence of others, you might feel as though you're not fully engaged.
My former spouse exhibited covert narcissistic traits, and I found myself stuck in a freeze response for decades. I was completely disconnected from reality, wearing a smile that masked my functional freeze.
In this episode, you will learn:
- What a freeze response actually is
- How to break out of a freeze response
- Practical ways to restore your old self
A freeze response can have serious effects on your body and mind. Together we can understand why this happens, who may be causing it, and how to break out of your freeze response.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Have you been cheated on? My ex-husband was a perpetual cheater, and yet I blamed myself for not being good enough for him. It took years of self-reflection and understanding to see that it wasn’t my fault, and so I want to pass on to you how to break the vicious cycle of cheating and betrayal.
In this episode, you will learn:
- What is betrayal trauma and how it affects us
- Why cheating is NOT normal
- How to stop blaming yourself and see cheating for what it really is
Cheating causes a form of betrayal trauma which can have serious effects on your body and mind. Together we can understand why people cheat, why it isn’t acceptable, and how to value yourself and make the right decision when faced with betrayal.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Are you ready to reclaim your body from the grip of trauma? A healing path exists that will loosen trauma's roots and give you back control. Your wellness is within reach - all it will take is courage to face the past and it will give you power over your present.
In this episode you will learn:
- Why trauma still lingers in your body after all these years
- How to set yourself free from stored trauma in your body
- How addressing core wounds helps healing
- Insights into health conditions from exploring trauma root causes
Through gentle techniques and facing long-buried trauma, we may release what has festered and start to take back control. Your wellness lies within reach, if only you find the courage to face the trauma and take the first step on the road to wellness.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Is narcissism more common in leadership roles? I believe that it is!
Successful leaders in business and politics may have to exhibit narcissistic traits in order to progress in their careers.
Narcissistic bosses tend to only show empathy and care when it benefits them, but may privately abuse you to gain "narcissistic supply." While not all leaders are narcissists, a handful of leaders can be very cut-throat, manipulative and abuse their power in subtle ways.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How to identify narcissistic leaders and different types of narcissism
- Why certain roles attract more narcissistic individuals
- Examples of empathetic vs. narcissistic leaders
- Strategies for dealing with a narcissistic boss
- Impacts of narcissistic leadership styles
Leadership attracts those with narcissistic traits and in some cases enables them to thrive. So how do you “win” against narcissistic bosses?
Document problematic incidents.
Set boundaries to avoid providing "narcissistic supply".
Look for support from understanding colleagues.
Prioritise your mental health and consider finding a new job to remove yourself from their toxic influence.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
I used to focus solely on narcissistic abuse and trauma recovery however, I realised I wanted to broaden the podcast to look at trauma and narcissism in a more holistic way.
I'll be sharing my personal journey with you - what led me to make the decision to rebrand and why I now call the show "Trauma and Narcissism Redefined". I'll also introduce you to some new frameworks I've learned, like Internal Family Systems therapy. In IFS we see our inner parts as having good intentions, even when their impact is destructive. I also think it's helpful to view our experiences through a nervous system lens rather than just focusing on pathology.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why the podcast was rebranded
- What Internal Family Systems therapy is
- My personal journey healing from trauma and overcoming mental health struggles
I also want to open up about my own healing journey. As you may know, I struggled for years after leaving a covert narcissistic relationship, with mental health issues like PTSD, anxiety and depression. I'll share with you what finally helped me heal. I hope my story provides hope and insights for your own journey.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
We often picture a narcissist as being the person who enters a room full of confidence and aims to get the whole room to notice them, however, not all narcissists are the same, and in this episode, I’m going to discuss a type of narcissist that doesn’t get much attention, the Vulnerable Narcissist.
What you will learn in this episode:
- The typical behaviours of a Vulnerable Narcissist
- How a Vulnerable Narcissist uses sympathy to get what they want
- What I look for when spotting a Vulnerable Narcissist
A Vulnerable Narcissist doesn’t try and win people over through being an outgoing character and acting with confidence, instead, they try to get their narcissistic supply by making you feel sympathy for them by painting themselves as the victim. This narcissist is often tricky to deal with as it can be very easy to feel sorry for them, so in this episode, I’ll teach you how to spot a Vulnerable Narcissist and not be drawn into their trap.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
We hear the word ‘narcissist’ thrown around so much these days, so much so that it feels like everyone is branded with the word. In this episode, I’m going to discuss how the word is used and the differences between the word being used casually and the actual diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
What you will learn in this episode:
- What the word ‘narcissist’ actually represents.
- Is the word ‘narcissist’ overused?
- How a person becomes a narcissist and why we can’t rely on a medical diagnosis.
You shouldn’t feel shame in using the word ‘narcissist,’ after all, it isn’t a swear word… I also want to emphasise the point of how the medical diagnosis of narcissism is failing so many of us who suffer from narcissistic abuse. So, in this episode, I’ll show you how the casual use of the term is dangerous, but also how we can spot a narcissist, even without the person being medically diagnosed.
Podcast Resources:
- Access my FREE 5 Video Mini-Series To Heal & Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse https://carolinestrawson.com/mini-series-ig
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
There are two words that should never be used at the same time, narcissism and parenting. Unfortunately, having children with a narcissist is a situation that so many people find themselves in, and it’s one of the biggest issues people come to me with. So, in this episode, I will discuss how you can raise your children successfully, even when their other parent is a narcissist.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why healing yourself is the biggest gift you can give to your children.
- Strategies you can use to manage your emotions.
- The common behaviours a narcissistic parent exhibits around their children.
The best thing that you can do for your children is to make sure you heal yourself. By prioritizing your healing, you pave the way for a healthier next generation. Children's nervous systems and behaviours are influenced by their surroundings, making it essential to model good behaviour by regulating our own emotions. This approach becomes even more crucial in mitigating the effects of a narcissistic parent's influence. I hope this episode can help you heal yourself, to ensure your children grow up loved and happy.
Podcast Resources:
- Access my FREE 5 Video Mini-Series To Heal & Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse https://carolinestrawson.com/mini-series-ig
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
When the narcissist knows you know and they’re exposed for who they truly are, it all unravels for them, but how does their behaviour change? One thing is guaranteed, they won’t admit to being in the wrong and they won’t change their behaviour for the better. All too often, they will try to shift the blame onto you and will do everything in their power to make you look like the bad person. So, in this episode, I will tell you how to deal with a narcissist when the truth starts coming out about the person they really are.
What you will learn in this episode:
- The common actions a narcissist takes to counter-act the negative perception about them.
- What you can do to ensure you’re believed and that you’re not the bad person in the relationship.
- How to address questions and claims you may get, such as “he doesn’t seem that bad” or “he’s so nice to me!”
To show you how a narcissists behaviour changes when their actions are exposed, I will share the story of what my ex-husband did when he knew that I knew he was cheating. I’ll tell you how he tried to make the break-up look like he was doing the nice thing for me and how the abuse escalated post-seperation.
Podcast Resources:
- Access my FREE 5 Video Mini-Series To Heal & Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse https://carolinestrawson.com/mini-series-ig
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Have you ever reacted to a situation in such a negative way that you end up questioning if you’re the problem? This is what we call Reactive Abuse. I had never heard of the term when I came out of the relationship with my narcissistic husband. Still, when I learnt what it meant, I was so grateful, as it meant that my reactions were a result of all of the abuse I had endured and not a reflection of my personality.
What you will learn in this episode:
- What reactive abuse is and how a narcissist uses it against you.
- How a narcissist will manipulate you to make it look like you’re the problem.
- Why abuse often escalates after separating from the narcissist.
Reactive abuse is the equivalent of poking a bear with a stick and waiting for them to react aggressively and then trying to blame the bear for their reaction. Now, a bear probably won’t reflect on their reaction, asking themselves “Am I the bad one in this situation?” But, most humans will ask that question. As you can see from this situation, the bear wasn’t at fault, and neither were you. I hope this episode can guide you to see that you’re not the problem in your situation, and any reaction is usually because you have no other choice.
Podcast Resources:
- Access my FREE 5 Video Mini-Series To Heal & Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse https://carolinestrawson.com/mini-series-ig
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Many people feel that a diagnosis of anxiety, depression, or ADHD is a permanent label. However, it doesn't have to be like that. These conditions often stem from past experiences. To heal, it's important to understand and address the root causes of our feelings. In this episode, I’ll discuss how we can look inside and heal from our past, instead of putting a band-aid on our feelings like so many medical diagnoses will do.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why modern diagnoses and treatments don’t cure our problems
- How Somatic Healing can address the root cause of our behaviours
- What causes our body to feel trauma post narcissistic abuse
When I work with behaviours at the level of the nervous system and tackle the root cause, people often see their behaviours change. This means they might not need medication anymore because we've dealt with the reasons behind their body's reactions, rather than just covering up their emotions. From narcissistic abuse to generational trauma, there are so many things that could be causing you to feel the way that you do, but we’ll never fully heal until we truly understand the reason for how we feel, my aim for this episode is to help you address your feelings from a nervous system level.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Narcissistic abuse causes us to act in so many different ways as a response to the trauma, this is our body creating a protector part of ourselves to try and make us feel safe. One of these protector parts can show up as over-explaining! Do you find it hard to simply say “no” to a request, without going into an essay into why you can’t do something? This is over-explaining, and I was the QUEEN of over-explaining.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How our body creates safeguards that hurt us in the long term
- Why over-explaining can often make the situation worse
- What you can do to feel comfortable in your response to people
I found that the more I tried to explain, the worse I’d make the situation. It’s so common to dig ourselves into a hole the more that we try to explain away our behaviours, and unfortunately, it’s not our fault, it’s our body trying to safeguard ourselves from disappointing our friends and family. In this episode, I’m going to explain why we over-explain and how we can address the root cause of this issue so that we can finally be a reflection of our true selves and not worry about what other people think of us anymore.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
One of the hardest things for me after leaving my narcissistic husband was getting back into the dating scene. Not only do we feel a lack of self-worth after narcissistic abuse, but we are often so afraid to end up in a relationship with another narcissist. So, in this episode, I’m going to share with you 10 ways to spot a narcissist on a first date.
What you will learn in this episode:
- The common behaviours of a narcissist.
- How to safely get back into the dating scene.
- What your body is telling you and learning to trust your gut.
From being impatient and entitled, to love bombing, there are many behaviours that a narcissist will display that can help you see a red flag. Whilst a lot of the behaviours I’ll share are common on a first date, when they start to add up, that’s when you may be dealing with a narcissist. I don’t want to scare you into not dating, I just want you to be prepared when you do start.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Navigating the challenges of co-parenting with a narcissist can be emotionally taxing. To address this, it's crucial to develop strategies for managing our own emotions in these situations, especially when they're the other parent of our children. In this episode, I’ll explore how to understand the root causes of our emotional responses and share techniques to handle them.
What you will learn in this episode:
- The impact our nervous system has on our healing.
- How to manage our emotions and self-regulate.
- Why our emotions can get the better of us and what our body is trying to tell us.
Managing our emotions is particularly important as our emotional well-being not only affects us but also our children and those around us. I’ll share a structured approach to co-parenting with a narcissist. Including strategies for transitions, such as when our children go to or come back from the other parent, and how to maintain our parenting roles effectively in this complex dynamic.
Podcast Resources:
- Managing Emotions Masterclass: carolinestrawson.com/managing-emotions-masterclass
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
One of the most asked questions I receive is how do you parent your children with a Narcissistic partner? Parenting alongside a narcissist is challenging, but my aim for this episode is to equip you with the knowledge to create a positive environment for your children. I’ll explore strategies to navigate and overcome the obstacles a narcissistic partner or ex-partner might present, helping you ensure the best upbringing for your kids.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How to minimise the impact of the narcissist on your children.
- Methods to raise your children in the manner you want and reduce the influence of the narcissistic parent.
- What technology and apps you can use to make your parenting life easy.
Unfortunately, narcissists will try using your own children against you to make you look like a bad parent. To reduce the narcissist's impact, I will share with you ideas such as Parallel Parenting and Extreme Modified Communication so that you can prioritize your mental health and your children's well-being. The hardest thing for me after splitting up with my narcissistic husband was trying to parent effectively, so I want to share with you what I learned to make your life as simple as possible.
Podcast Resources:
- Register for my FREE Virtual Rage Release Retreat: https://carolinestrawson.com/rage-retreat
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Suppressing emotions is a one-way path to stress and deeper suffering. In today's episode, I'll explore effective strategies for expressing rage and other intense emotions. This way, we can prevent these feelings from simmering within us, leading to a healthier emotional state.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How to healthily express our emotions.
- Why internalising emotions can lead to illness and disease.
- Methods to not be so critical of ourselves and how to find self-worth.
After splitting up with my husband, I felt like I had no self-worth and I let so many of my negative emotions boil up inside of me. However, I eventually learned how to express these emotions in a healthy way, which allowed me to begin healing from the narcissistic abuse. My aim for this episode is for you to recognise what is happening inside of your body and how to externalise your emotions.
Podcast Resources:
- Register for my FREE Virtual Rage Release Retreat: https://carolinestrawson.com/rage-retreat
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Recently I had some conversations with members from my Facebook group who, after enduring narcissistic abuse, struggle with feelings of unattractiveness and unworthiness due to their single status. In this episode, I dispel the misconception that our value is tied to our romantic relationships. I hope this episode helps you to discover and embrace your intrinsic self-worth, independent of others' opinions or actions.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How to take ownership of our own life and feelings.
- Understanding where self-worth comes from and not allowing others to control how we feel.
- What you can expect from this podcast next year.
During Christmas, it's common to feel a deep sense of worthlessness and loneliness, especially after leaving a narcissistic relationship. Many of us, particularly in our middle years, fear that we're destined to remain single forever. I've been there too. But this belief is often just a self-defense mechanism to avoid falling for another narcissist. The truth is, we all have value, regardless of our relationship status. In this episode, I share my own journey to illustrate how you can recognize your own worth and, if you choose, find love again, no matter where you are in life.
Podcast Resources:
- FREE Virtual Rage Release Retreat: https://carolinestrawson.com/rage-retreat
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
When we’re in an abusive relationship with a narcissist, our behaviour tends to change, it’s a way that our body attempts to adapt to the situation to ensure that we can stay as safe as possible. Unfortunately, this shift in behaviour can often lead you to seek out medical help which all too commonly results in a diagnosis of Borderline or Bipolar Personality Disorder. In this episode, I’m going to discuss why so many people are being misdiagnosed and how healing from narcissistic abuse will also heal you from your changed behaviour.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How our behaviour changes in a narcissistic relationship
- The method medical professionals use to diagnose personality disorders
- Why so many abused individuals are misdiagnosed and how to heal from narcissistic abuse
I’ll discuss the method that medical professionals use when diagnosing Borderline and Bipolar Personality Disorder and why it’s so easy to be misdiagnosed. As you’ll hear in the episode, so many of the traits of these personality disorders can be the result of being an abused individual, which leads to so many people having to live with a label and taking medication without figuring out what caused these behaviours in the first place.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Who is around you when you’re feeling hurt? Who is there to listen to you when you need to talk to someone? Unfortunately, it’s all too common to feel isolated when you’re suffering from narcissistic abuse or you’re trying to heal. I felt isolated for so long, and I want you to know that it does not have to be that way.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How to find a community that understands you.
- Why there are always people who will help you and how to find them.
- A way to discover the people in your life that will help you heal.
I spent a lot of time during and after going through narcissistic abuse feeling alone, and it made it even worse when I went to friends and family to look for validation of my feelings and they didn’t truly believe or understand what I was feeling. Fortunately, I now understand that there is no reason at all to feel lonely because of what you’ve experienced, and I hope this episode can help you find the community you need.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
It’s time to take ownership of our happiness. It took me a long time to realise that to feel happy and to love myself was completely my responsibility. We cannot and should not look externally for others to make ourselves feel worthy. It’s a hard realisation, but it can immediately change your outlook on the world and bring happiness to you, as you’re no longer waiting around for something to change, you can make the change immediately.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why self-reliance is so important and how to find love inside yourself.
- The power of self-love and self-worth during our ongoing healing journey.
- How to re-parent our inner child.
In this episode, I’ll share how I discovered this realisation of self-worth and how you can integrate the mindset of inner happiness into your healing journey. There will be days when you feel bad and won’t want to do anything, but your reaction to those days is how you heal. Instead of letting those days put you into a downward spiral, use them as a day to reflect and understand that to have more positive days, it’s your responsibility to make a change. If nothing changes, nothing changes.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my free personal Telegram Channel Community for more personal healing and support: https://t.me/narcissisticabusehealing
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
The medical diagnosis of narcissists is wrong and it’s time to re-envision narcissism. In this episode, I talk about rethinking narcissism beyond its usual stereotypes and the standard medical view of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I look at how misdiagnosis is common and why the medical industry's approach needs to change. I'll also explain why it's rare for narcissists to seek help and how they often go unnoticed by healthcare professionals.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why the medical industry's diagnosis of narcissism is wrong.
- The reasons a narcissist will never look to be diagnosed.
- How we can re-think narcissism and look at the backstory that caused the narcissist to be the person they are today.
Instead of just labelling behaviours, I believe in understanding the deeper trauma behind narcissism. In this episode, I’ll introduce you to how I use the Internal Family Systems model to see how a narcissist's past shapes their personality. This approach helps us understand why narcissists struggle to recognize their behaviour as harmful, emphasizing the need for a compassionate, trauma-focused way of dealing with narcissism.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my free personal Telegram Channel Community for more personal healing and support
- https://t.me/narcissisticabusehealing
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Childhood experiences, like lack of praise or excessive attention, often shape codependent behaviours. These patterns can attract relationships with narcissists. In this episode, we'll explore the roots of codependency, its connection to seeking love in unhealthy ways, and ways to heal from both narcissistic relationships and codependent tendencies.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Understanding Codependency: A deep dive into the nature and characteristics of codependent behaviour.
- Roots of Codependency: Exploring the underlying factors that lead individuals to develop codependent tendencies.
- Pathways to Healing: Strategies for overcoming codependency and recovering from relationships with narcissists.
In this episode, I'll open up about how my childhood experiences shaped my codependent behaviours, ultimately leading me into a relationship with a narcissist. I'll guide you through identifying how codependency became a part of your life because by uncovering and understanding the root causes, we can start ourselves on our journey of healing."
Podcast Resources:
- Black Friday 75%: Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://carolinestrawson.com/black-friday
- FREE Masterclass: Navigating The Narcissist In The Holidays https://carolinestrawson.com/holiday-masterclass
- Join my free personal Telegram Channel Community for more personal healing and support https://t.me/narcissisticabusehealing
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
From withholding money to asking you to sign your name onto debt, financial abuse can come in so many different shapes and sizes, and the impact it can have on your life can be truly horrific. Unfortunately, so many people suffer from financial abuse, and oftentimes they don’t even know it. In this episode, I’m going to help you see the signs of financial abuse and how you can get yourself out of the abuse and build your own financial backing.
What you will learn in this episode:
- The different types of financial abuse
- Red flags you should look for to see if you’re being financially abused
- How to set yourself up with your own personal finances
I didn’t even realise I was being financially abused until after I left my narcissistic husband. It can be such a covert way of control and by the time you realise you are being financially abused, it can appear there’s no way to leave the relationship or set yourself up for a better life. However, I’m here to provide you with the resources to get out of this situation and become financially independent in a safe way.
Podcast Resources:
- Come and join my FREE Navigating The Narcissist In The Holidays Masterclass
- https://carolinestrawson.com/holiday-masterclass
- Join my free personal Telegram Channel Community for more personal healing and support
- https://t.me/narcissisticabusehealing
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
It's often said that we are the sum of the five people we spend the most time with. This concept takes on profound significance when you're recovering from narcissistic abuse. In this episode, I'll take you through a look at my social circle during my struggle with my narcissistic husband's abuse. I'll reveal how certain friends hindered my healing, while others became pillars of strength, propelling me towards where I am today.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why your community is so important to your healing
- How to navigate conversations about narcissism with your friends
- Where to find a supportive community if you don’t have one
Your community isn’t just who you see in person, it’s everything you consume online. So I want to make sure that you structure your in-person and online communities in a way that will support your healing, and if you unfortunately have to remove people from your life, I’ll share how you can do that in the easiest way possible.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my Free Telegram Community Channel https://t.me/narcissisticabusehealing
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
WARNING: In this episode, we discuss hard hitting trauma so please be aware and make sure you are grounded listening to it. If you do relate to anything, please reach out to the relevant authorities.
We discuss:
- Childhood abuse
- Sexual assault
- Addiction
- Suicide
- Prison
- Domestic and narcissistic abuse
I recently had the privilege of interviewing Natalie Russell, a remarkable participant from ITV1's "My Mum, Your Dad." Her story is both powerful and inspiring. While the episode delves deep, I believe it offers valuable insights, reminding us that it's never too late to find hope.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How to heal the root cause and not mask the symptoms
- Ways to get out of a victim mindset and raise your self-esteem
- How to heal the relationship you have with yourself
Natalie is now a commited relationship coach where she helps women increase their self-esteem, and helps them heal so that they can learn to live their best life and love again. I hope Natalie’s story helps you understand that healing is possible and that your best life is still ahead of you.
Connect with Natalie here:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamnatalierussell/?hl=en
- Website: https://www.natalierussell.uk/
- TikTok: https://tr.ee/z0wwsfKbXX
- Retreats: https://www.natalierussell.uk/retreats
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In a narcissistic relationship, it's common to blame ourselves for the problems instead of the narcissist. Discovering your partner's infidelity often intensifies this self-blame, making you think, "It's my fault." I'm here to affirm that you are enough, and you should hold your partner accountable for their actions. It's time to reclaim your power and begin the journey to heal from this abusive relationship. That's the focus of this episode.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How narcissists gaslight you to believe it’s your fault for them cheating.
- Why you musn’t blame yourself for anything the narcissist does.
- How narcissists cheat to get more control over you.
I'll share my personal experience of discovering my husband's infidelity and how he wrongly made me believe it was my fault. I've since realized it wasn't my fault, and I wish I hadn't blamed myself back then. In this episode, I want to emphasize that everything the narcissist does is not your fault. You have the strength to navigate this challenging period and start the journey to remove the narcissist from your life.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
You work hard on your fitness and nutrition, but it can be frustrating when the weight just won't come off. Many people can relate to this struggle, especially those who've faced narcissistic abuse. In this episode, I'll share why losing weight has been tough and how I managed to shed the pounds gained during that difficult time, and how you can too.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How to get your metabolism back on track through reverse dieting.
- Why our body clings onto fat when we’ve suffered narcissistic abuse.
- What you must do if diets and working out just don’t work for you.
I'll talk about my current eating habits and how years of on-and-off dieting have brought me to a place where simply eating less and exercising more isn't enough. I'll explain why it's necessary to reverse diet and gradually restore my metabolism to a state where it's ready to shed the weight gained during the abuse. I want you to understand that it's possible to lose those pounds and feel satisfied with your body's appearance. Though it might take time, the journey is worth it.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Many times, we wish for the moment when we can confront a narcissist, blaming them for everything, and find the courage to break free from their influence. But what really occurs on that day? In this episode, I'll explore the steps to safely leave a narcissist. We'll delve into recognizing the signs when they realize you're onto them and how they usually react in such a scenario.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How a narcissist uses a trauma bond to ensure you never leave, and how to break this.
- Why we become addicted to a narcissistic relationship.
- What you can do to safely leave a narcissist.
In this episode, we'll explore the concept of the abuse cycle and how our bodies can become addicted to a relationship with a narcissist on a deep level. We'll also delve into the challenge of breaking free from such a relationship. I'll share my personal experience when my husband discovered I knew about their infidelity and how their behavior shifted dramatically. My aim is to provide you with insights to safely exit a narcissistic relationship and start your healing journey from the trauma it may have caused.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Do you ever notice that whenever there's a special event in your life, like Christmas, a birthday, or an anniversary, there's always someone who seems to spoil the celebration? This behaviour is often associated with narcissism. In this episode, I’ll explore why narcissists often disrupt special occasions, how to identify the warning signs, and I’ll share tips on how to navigate these moments.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How narcissists attempt to spoil special occasions.
- Preparing yourself to cope with such behaviour.
- Understanding why narcissists choose special occasions for their abusive actions.
This individual might not only be your partner; it could be a family member like a father, mother, brother, or sister. Their presence can make special events challenging. Therefore, my goal for this episode is to assist you in handling these significant occasions and upcoming holidays with a clear plan of action.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
How To Heal After Narcissistic Abuse FREE Masterclass: Sunday 1st October 8pm UK time/3pm EDT/12pm PDT: https://carolinestrawson.com/healing-masterclass
My approach to defining what a narcissist is differs from the mainstream healthcare definition, I’m going to explain why. When I had a narcissist in my life, they behaved very differently in the public eye compared to how they behaved behind closed doors. They could easily fool anyone into thinking that they weren’t a narcissist, which is why the clinical diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder is problematic.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why the clinical diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder is wrong
- What a healthcare professional looks for when diagnosing a narcissist
- Who you can go to for validation that a person in your life is a narcissist
In this episode, I'll discuss my current perspective on narcissism, shedding light on the factors that have shaped my approach and I'll explore how my experiences have led me to adopt this particular viewpoint. Additionally, I'll offer my thoughts on ways in which the clinical diagnosis of narcissism could undergo enhancements for a more accurate and nuanced understanding.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
The most difficult topics to discuss are often the most harmful. That's why I've created this episode to provide a safe space for talking about how sex and pornography can harm relationships, especially when dealing with narcissistic individuals. In this episode, I'm joined by Dr. Doug Weiss, and together we'll cover topics ranging from porn addiction to what he terms "intimacy anorexia," as well as how narcissists use sex to abuse their partners.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How narcissists use sex and porn to abuse their partners
- What you can do to find safe intimacy after leaving a narcissist
- Why porn addiction and narcissism go hand in hand
Dr. Doug Weiss is the President of the American Association for Sexual Addiction Therapy. He is also the Executive Director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Heart to Heart Counseling Center is dedicated to 'healing the brokenhearted' and focuses on sexual addiction, intimacy anorexia, sexless marriages, partner betrayal trauma, and various related areas. They offer virtual counselling and coaching services for these concerns and have assisted numerous individuals and couples in their journey to recovery.
Connect with Dr. Douglas Weiss
- www.drdougweiss.com
- www.facebook.com/drdougweiss
- www.facebook.com/hearttoheartcounselingcenter
- www.instagram.com/drdougweiss
- www.twitter.com/drdougweiss
Resources:
- Join the VIP Waitlist for my Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coaching Certification: https://carolinestrawson.com/ntic-waitlist
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Many of us who've experienced narcissistic abuse often blame ourselves and carry the shame. But it's important to understand that we're not at fault. We need to find healthy ways to release our anger and heal from our abusive past. In this episode, I'll share my story of overcoming shame and finding healing, and I'll show you how you can do the same.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How to overcome our abusive past and heal our inner thoughts
- Why we often blame ourselves instead of the abuser
- How holding onto shame and guilt can lead to chronic illness
Have you ever wondered, "Why did I stay so long?" or thought, "How could I have been so foolish?" These self-blaming questions often arise when we've been through abuse, but it's important to remember that the blame lies with the abuser, not us. It's natural to feel responsible as a way to protect ourselves from future harm, but we must acknowledge that we're not to blame. To begin healing from narcissistic abuse, we need to let go of the anger from our past.
Resources:
- Join the VIP Waitlist for my Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coaching Certification: https://carolinestrawson.com/ntic-waitlist
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Have you ever heard your partner say, "Don't worry, I'll handle everything and put it in my name," or "Just let me know if you need anything"? While these phrases might seem like generosity, they can actually be signs of financial abuse. In this episode, I’ll explore covert financial abuse and how narcissists use it to gain control, leaving you with little financial independence and making it hard to leave the relationship. But fear not, I'll guide you on reclaiming your financial independence and safely exiting the relationship.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How narcissists hide their control behind generosity.
- Why so many people suffer from covert financial abuse without noticing.
- How to become financially independent and safely leave a narcissist.
I’ll share a story about a woman I once helped. She left her partner after enduring years of financial abuse, where nothing, not even her phone number, was in her name. She couldn't even get a phone in her own name due to her lack of credit history, as everything financial was tied to her partner. Tune in to discover how you can regain control of your finances and prevent a situation like this. It's important to know that healing from this form of narcissistic abuse is possible.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Have you ever taken a moment to reflect on how you treat yourself? It might feel uneasy, as we often treat ourselves worse than we would treat others. Imagine treating someone else the way you treat yourself – it would likely disturb you. But there's a way to improve this. In this episode, I'm discussing the topic of self-care. I admit I neglected self-care after my divorce, but now I've made it a vital part of my life. Because without self-care, true healing becomes difficult.
What you will learn in this episode:
- What self care looks like and what you can do to make time for yourself.
- How to find time for yourself even if you’re a mother with children or have a hectic work schedule.
- A holistic approach to healing to ensure we’re physically, emotionally and psychologically healthy.
I'll talk about my own self-care routine and share tips for incorporating it into your schedule. Whether it's just 5 minutes of solitude or treating yourself occasionally, these small acts can greatly aid in recovering from your past. Let's agree to make a pact – a promise to each other – that we'll prioritize self-care and extend the same kindness to ourselves as we do to our loved ones.
Resources:
- Join the VIP Waitlist for my Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coaching Certification: https://carolinestrawson.com/ntic-waitlist
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Incorrect diagnoses lead to incorrect treatments. This worries me because I often see individuals who've endured narcissistic abuse being wrongly labelled with Borderline Personality Disorder. In this episode, I'll talk about how experts diagnose personality disorders and explain why there's a frequent mix-up, causing those with Complex PTSD to be misdiagnosed.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why Complex PTSD looks like Borderline Personality Disorder
- What traits a doctor will look for when diagnosing personality disorders
- How to ensure you’re treatment is addressing the right underlying reasons
We need to get curious about what you’re going through. Remember, trauma doesn't have to define your life forever. However, if misdiagnosed, you might receive the wrong treatment. I'll explain why misdiagnoses happen and offer insights on how to guide your healing journey towards the right path.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
I can remember being homeless, in debt and struggling with PTSD, anxiety and depression like it was yesterday. If you had told me that I’d be where I am today back in 2013, I wouldn’t have believed you, but I’m living proof that we cannot only survive narcissistic abuse but can thrive after it. So in this episode, I’m going to share with you my reflections on how I got to where I am today and show you that anything is possible.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How I went from being homeless and in debt to where I am today
- The one thing you can do to get the ball rolling on your healing
- An inside look into what I teach in my trainings
Make sure you listen to the whole episode as I share some very exciting news about how my teaching is about to become a proper qualification, making it the first officially qualified program that teaches narcissistic trauma informed coaching. If you’re interested, you can join the VIP Waitlist for my Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coaching Certification here: https://carolinestrawson.com/ntic-waitlist
Resources:
- Join the VIP Waitlist for my Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coaching Certification: https://carolinestrawson.com/ntic-waitlist
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Celebrities, just like regular people, sometimes face abusive relationships with narcissists. In this episode, I'll explore how these high-profile individuals cope with such challenges and heal from their emotional wounds. Drawing from my experience working with celebrities, I'll share valuable insights into their coping mechanisms and the lessons we can all learn from their experiences.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why abusive relationships don’t end when the abuse first starts
- The impact fame and money has on individuals suffering abuse
- How celebrities tend to mask their pain instead of heal
I'll explore the reasons behind celebrities' struggles with alcohol or drug abuse, as well as the common tendency among all of us, including celebrities, to seek ways to mask our pain instead of addressing it directly. It's crucial to remember that we can't fully understand someone else's experiences, so we should avoid passing judgment on their relationships. However, we can draw valuable lessons from high-profile abusive relationships to aid in our own healing journeys. Let's focus on using these insights to facilitate personal growth and healing.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Time alone is not enough to heal narcissistic abuse. While it might hide some wounds temporarily, triggers can still cause intense emotional turmoil. In this episode, I'll guide you through the process of healing your inner wounds, enabling your nervous system to handle future triggers and recover from past trauma. What your going to hear may sound harsh and difficult to hear, but trust me, if you fully embrace this episode, your ability to heal from narcissistic abuse will have never been more clear.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Methods to become more intentional in your healing
- The most powerful tool to healing from narcissistic abuse
- How to grow out of codependency
If you want to deeply heal, you need to be intentional about it, as time does not heal narcissistic abuse. In this episode, I’m going to ask you what are you doing to intentionally heal yourself, as I don’t want you to do what I did and sit around for four years waiting for someone to make your life better. The biggest gift that you can give to yourself is to work on yourself intentionally and this is truly the secret to healing yourself.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
It’s the summer holidays! In this episode, I want to help those of you with children, as school breaks can often bring about challenges in their behavior. Children may react strongly to narcissistic individuals, leading to increased dysregulation when they are with you. During school holidays, your children might end up spending time with a narcissistic person. To ensure their well-being, I'll guide you through effective preparations and steps you can take to protect your children. We'll focus on safeguarding their nervous system and addressing any potential trauma responses they may have.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why your children behave badly around you.
- What causes trauma responses and how a childs nervous system functions.
- The five items to calm your childs five senses.
When your children spend time with a narcissist, they might come back feeling agitated or scared, leading to bad behavior. But don't worry, I have a simple and fun solution to help them release these feelings. This project is not only enjoyable for the start of the school break but also very helpful for when they experience their trauma response.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Have you ever heard your narcissistic partner say, "You can have money whenever you want, just ask"? Unfortunately, many narcissists use money as a tool to control their partners, and it's easy to fall into this trap. In this episode, I'll talk about financial abuse, early warning signs in a relationship, and how you can heal from this and achieve financial independence.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How narcissists use money as a tool to control and abuse.
- What you can do to avoid and heal from financial abuse.
- How to create a safe exit strategy from your abusive partner.
Did you know that 99% of people in abusive relationships also face financial abuse? Narcissists use this tactic to gain control by limiting your access to money, seizing assets, and pressuring you to quit your job. I didn't realize I was going through financial abuse until I became pregnant and became entirely dependent on my husband. Listen carefully because I want you to know that, no matter how tough your situation seems, there are ways to break free. This episode will guide you on creating a safe exit strategy from your abusive partner.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Do you ever feel stuck in your healing journey, despite your sincere efforts to return to the person you were before encountering a narcissist? It's a common situation where we believe we're making progress, only to be overcome by anger and experience sudden outbursts that seem to set us back in our healing process. This cycle, known as the trauma response cycle, can be overcome. In this episode, I'll guide you on completing this cycle, enabling you to move forward in your healing and reach new levels of progress.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why we get stuck in our healing, even when we want to get better.
- What sudden bursts of anger mean and why they are good for you.
- How to discharge our anger in a healthy way.
Let me introduce you to The Traffic Lights of Tolerance. When we're healing, we often go through the flight, fight, and freeze responses. If we're stuck in freeze, it can be challenging to transition to flight without going through the fight stage first. Think of these stages as the red, yellow, and green lights of a traffic light. Just like you can't go from red to green directly, you have to pass through yellow first. I'll guide you through the traffic lights of tolerance, explaining what to expect at each stage. This way, you can understand why you're experiencing unpleasant emotions and facing uncomfortable situations during your healing journey.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
As a mother of two teenagers, I frequently contemplate their ability to navigate relationships and recognize potential warning signs. In this episode, I aim to empower teenagers by highlighting 10 crucial red flags they should be aware of in relationships. By recognizing these signs, they can identify when a relationship may not be healthy and possibly avoid becoming involved with a narcissistic partner.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How to discuss what a healthy relationship is with a teenager
- What behaviours should act as a warning sign to leave a relationship
- How a teenager can build self-confidence and trust their instinct
If we had access to this information during our own teenage years, we might have been able to evade the damaging presence of a narcissist or, at the very least, recognize the need for help sooner. My desire is to impart these invaluable lessons to the next generation, bringing an end to the cycle of trauma and promoting safer dating experiences for teenagers. Together, we can equip our youth with the tools they need to navigate healthy relationships and thrive emotionally… and don’t forget, these red flags are red flags in any relationship, at any age.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Introversion, anxiety, empathy… these definitely aren’t behaviours we think of when we picture a narcissist, but they are the traits that the hardest to spot narcissists have. Let me introduce you to the covert narcissist. The covert narcissist can fly under the radar until it’s too late, and I want to share with you 10 signs that someone may be a covert narcissist to help you steer clear of them, whether they’re your current partner, a potential partner, a friend or even a family member.
What you will learn in this episode:
- The traits of the common covert narcissist
- How the covert narcissist differs from the overt narcissist
- Why the covert narcissist is often the most dangerous
We often associate grandiosity, extraversion, confidence, and a 'look-at-me' attitude with narcissism. While it's important to note that not everyone displaying these traits is a narcissist, they serve as warning signs that help us avoid falling for another narcissist. However, it's crucial to recognize that not all narcissists fit the same mold. The covert narcissist, in particular, poses the greatest danger because they don't exhibit the stereotypical narcissistic behaviour. This makes it much easier to unknowingly fall into their trap.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Are you feeling frustrated and helpless in your journey to lose weight and improve your overall health? If you've experienced narcissistic abuse, you may be surprised to learn that your body's response to trauma can contribute to weight retention. In this episode, I will guide you through effective strategies to break free from this cycle and regain control of your well-being. I’ll help you discover how you can prioritize your health, heal from narcissistic abuse, and pave the way for a brighter future.
What you will learn in this episode:
- The reasons our body clings onto weight to help deal with abuse.
- Why we stay in a trauma response even though we’re not in danger.
- What you can do to alter your bodies reaction to stress and lose weight.
I’ll share my own battles with my body during and after the narcissist in my life and how I try to navigate these issues to not only be healthier but to help further my healing from narcissistic abuse. This episode will not only give you insight into why you’re struggling to lose weight but actions you can take to get yourself onto the right path.
Come and join my FREE Masterclass: Healing Codependency, Narcissistic Abuse Recovery & Nervous System Regulation - The 3 Step Formula to heal and thrive after narcisisistic abuse https://carolinestrawson.com/three-step-formula-masterclass
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
On Thursday, I'll be celebrating my 50th birthday!! I want to use this milestone and episode to reflect on how narcissistic abuse impacted me, how my childhood wounds still affect me, and the steps I'm taking to live a fulfilling life with a positive and forward-looking mindset.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How to stop saying “when” and make today your day one.
- Reflections on my healing journey and where I’ve come from.
- How to be an advocate for your own health and be intentional about your healing.
When a birthday comes around, it’s a time when we often reflect on our lives, but it’s important to note that you cannot get your time back. What you can do is make today the time to create changes so you can live your life in the best possible way. I hope this episode shows you how to reset your mindset and use today as your day one.
Come and join my FREE Masterclass: Healing Codependency, Narcissistic Abuse Recovery & Nervous System Regulation - The 3 Step Formula to heal and thrive after narcisisistic abuse https://carolinestrawson.com/three-step-formula-masterclass
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Breathing is one of the only conscious and unconscious systems of our body, and being intentional with our breath can have a huge impact on our well-being. In this episode, I’ll share with you the breathwork and breathing techniques I use to not only help me heal from narcissistic abuse but to heal my childhood wounds.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How to recognise our existing breathing patterns and what they signify.
- How to shift our nervous system into a state of calm.
- The difference between breathwork and breathing techniques.
I’ll show you the difference between breathwork and breathing techniques, and a regime for you to follow that will markedly improve your ability to handle your emotions. These are all techniques that I do myself and they are truly life-changing. Not only do they help us reconnect with ourselves after narcissistic abuse, but they also help us tone our vagus nerve to help us heal from our childhood wounds.
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
I was recently a guest on the We Can Do Hard Things podcast with Glennon Doyle and I wanted to dive deeper into what I discussed there and share with you the issues about the medicalization of narcissistic personality disorder and why we can’t treat narcissism after the fact without looking at the root cause first. I’ll also share my opinion on the overuse of the word narcissist and why people casually putting that label on others is dangerous.
What you will learn in this episode:
- The root cause of narcissistic personality disorder
- How a narcissist should be diagnosed through Internal Family Systems
- Why you’re negative habits could be caused by narcissistic abuse
In this episode, I’ll also discuss the varying levels of narcissistic abuse and what can cause a narcissist to escalate their behaviour, why you shouldn’t try to change a narcissist, and why you can only focus on your own healing. A massive welcome to those of you who are joining me for the first time from Glennon’s podcast, I hope I can help you on your journey of recovering from a narcissist.
You can listen to my episode on We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle here:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/32GVLWRE73ioSSKSFvNSXZ?si=dfzFyKfLTMWpN3q7DbNEvw
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Anxiety, depression, self-sabotage and brain fog are all symptoms that we’d love to be able to solve, but learning why you have these symptoms is necessary to start the healing process. Today I’m so excited to bring one of my certified coaches onto the podcast. Valerie Clark is an expert in midlife, menopause and narcissistic abuse and we’re going to discuss how these all interact together and how they have a significant impact on our healing and outlook.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How to recognise trauma and understand how it impacts your midlife wellbeing
- Strategies to reclaim your health and well-being during menopause
- How to find your sense of worth, live your life and not just exist
In this episode, Valerie shares her personal journey of realizing the profound impact of trauma on her experience of menopause. She transformed her midlife from mere survival to a thriving phase. Valerie's expertise and insights will empower you and instil a belief in the possibility of finding light at the end of the tunnel.
Connect with Valerie here:
- FREE WEBINAR 1 June @ 7pm, Reclaiming Your Power: A woman’s journey to healing from narcissistic abuse: https://49d1-valerie.systeme.io/reclaiming-your-power-as-a-woman-webinar
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valerieclarkcoaching
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/midlifeandmenopause
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/valerie-clark-coaching-midlife-menopause-mind/
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com
Adopting a positive mindset towards divorce can have a profound impact on the outcome, your emotional recovery, and financial independence. I am delighted to be joined today by Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan, who will guide you in taking small but meaningful steps to achieve a better outcome while navigating a divorce with a narcissistic partner. Let's move past denial and begin the journey towards a brighter future.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How to get what you’re entitled to, not what your ex-narcissist thinks you're entitled to.
- Tactics to take emotions out of the divorce and approach negotiations with a well-thought-out strategy
- Why taking control of your divorce can rapidly improve your healing from the narcissist
In this episode, Karen and Catherine will share their personal experiences of going through emotionally challenging divorces that centered around finances. These experiences have motivated them to assist others facing similar difficulties. Be sure to listen to the entire episode as they share valuable tips and strategies to help you navigate your own divorce smoothly and ensure that you receive what you deserve.
Learn more about Karen, Catherine and My Divorce Solution here:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mydivorcesolution/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mydivorcesolution
- Website: https://mydivorcesolution.com/
- MDS Financial Portrait Assessment: https://mydivorcesolution.com/financial-portrait/
- MDS Community and Online Course
Podcast Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
We have the power to either let our urges define us or to harness them to become stronger and wiser. Learning how to manage our impulses is crucial in all areas of life, especially when it comes to dealing with a narcissist. In this episode, I will share with you a positive psychology intervention that has helped me become less impulsive and that can help you too.
What you will learn in this episode:
- The importance of managing impulses in all areas of life, especially when dealing with a narcissist.
- A positive psychology intervention that can help you become less impulsive and manage your urges effectively.
- Techniques for recognizing the value of resisting your urges and challenging your mindset to make rapid improvements in different areas of your life.
I'll show you how recognizing the value of resisting your urges and challenging your mindset can lead to rapid improvements in your life. This intervention will not only help you deal with a narcissist but can also benefit you in other areas such as avoiding unhealthy habits like overeating, procrastination, and impulsive shopping. Save this episode for future use and use the meditation to help you navigate your future urges with ease.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Live & Interactive Workshop on Learning How To Positive Parent With A Narcissist: https://carolinestrawson.com/workshop
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
To become your own rescuer is the ultimate gift you can give yourself. In this episode, I'll share my personal experience of realizing this truth during my own healing journey. I’m sure that if I had known this earlier, my healing process would have been much quicker.
What you will learn in this episode:
• The importance of rescuing yourself and taking control of your own happiness. • The negative consequences of solely relying on others to fulfill your happiness and sense of self-worth. • How to empower yourself and prioritise self-love and care
I'll delve into how putting my happiness into the hands of others for decades led to a loss of self-worth. While helping and being kind to others absolutely brings me joy, I've come to understand that my own happiness cannot solely depend on the actions of others. My desire to please others had built up anger and resentment inside me, which is common in narcissistic relationships. I hope this episode serves as a catalyst in your own healing journey, guiding you towards realizing the importance of rescuing yourself.
Resources:
• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse • Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse • Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ • Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson • My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In my past episodes, I have often discussed how narcissists can manifest as spouses, but it's important to note that they can appear in various other forms, such as bosses, parents, and even friends, which is the topic of this episode. I will be sharing my personal experience of how I unknowingly fell into the trap of a narcissistic friend shortly after my ex-husband left me. It's interesting to note that just as one narcissist left my life, another entered it.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Ways in which others may exploit you during your recovery process
- Strategies to build and maintain a positive support system
- Reasons why you may lose some friends from your previous narcissistic relationship
Narcissistic abuse can serve as an alarm clock that awakens you to things you may have never seen before, such as being exploited by others during that period. Through this episode, I aim to underscore the significance of having a support system following narcissistic abuse while also being wary of falling prey to another narcissist. I will delve into how to navigate friendships in the aftermath of narcissistic abuse and ensure that the people around you have your best interests at heart.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Receiving judgement from others about the narcissistic abuse you have experienced is unfortunately common, and it can be emotionally draining to try to explain yourself to people who may not understand the dynamics of a narcissistic relationship. Narcissistic abusers often manipulate and gaslight their victims, causing them to behave in ways that may seem unnatural in a healthy relationship. This can make it challenging to communicate to others what happened and how it feels to be judged for it. In this episode, I will share strategies to effectively communicate your experience in narcissistic relationships and navigate the judgment from others with empathy and self-care in mind.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How to communicate your narcissistic abuse to others
- The ways in which narcissists gaslight and manipulate
- Why people are quick to cast judgement over your behaviour during narcissistic abuse
FREE MASTERCLASS - The Psychology Of A Narcissist: https://carolinestrawson.showit.site/psychology-of-a-narcissist-masterclass
To highlight the challenges of judgment and gaslighting in narcissistic abuse, I'll share a story in this episode about my ex-husband, who worked as an air steward, and went missing for over 8 hours after I expected him home. When he finally returned, he spun a fabricated story about saving a life to deflect from his absence. He used this to gaslight me, making me feel like I was the problem for being worried. It left me feeling confused and invalidated, a stark reminder of how narcissistic abusers distort reality and avoid accountability, leaving their victims dismissed.
Resources:
- FREE MASTERCLASS - The Psychology Of A Narcissist: https://carolinestrawson.showit.site/psychology-of-a-narcissist-masterclass
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Many of us have asked ourselves, 'Am I the narcissist?' If you're questioning your own behavior, it's unlikely that you are a narcissist. However, understanding why you may feel this way and why a true narcissist would never ask this question can shed light on the situation, and that’s what I’m going to discuss in this episode.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How narcissists use gaslighting to flip the script and convince you that you're the narcissist.
- The personality traits of a narcissist.
- The process of how individuals develop narcissism.
Gaslighting can make us believe that we're the narcissist in a relationship, especially when we're in a state of freeze due to narcissistic abuse. In this episode, I'll share strategies and mindsets to avoid falling into this trap and offer guidance for handling gaslighting. To better understand the behavior of narcissists, it's also helpful to explore how they develop in childhood, particularly if they were raised as golden children, and I hope this insight into their upbringing will help you understand that you’re not the narcissist.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
There is a growing body of evidence that suggests a link between narcissistic abuse and various autoimmune disorders, such as fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, and various inflammatory issues. Upon closer examination of the onset of these physical ailments, a correlation with the traumatic experiences of narcissistic abuse often arises. In this episode, I explore how our bodies utilize physical pain as a coping mechanism to divert our attention from the abuse we are enduring.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why our body uses pain as a protective mechanism
- How emotional pain can translate into physical pain
- Tips for reducing inflammation and alleviating the symptoms of autoimmune disorders
Additionally, I will share my personal experience with how Internal Family Systems (IFS) helped me understand that my mother's rheumatoid arthritis was likely a result of her own traumatic experiences. My ultimate goal of this episode is to empower you to identify the underlying causes of your pain so that you can begin to heal from within, rather than relying solely on medication or resigning yourself to a lifetime of suffering. It is my hope that this episode will serve as a helpful resource in this journey towards healing.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In this episode, I dive into the word "narcissist" and why it's such a hot topic. It can be tough to talk about our experiences with narcissistic abuse because some people may shrug it off and say we're unfairly labelling someone. I'll explore why this is the case and how it impacts those of us who are suffering.
What you will learn in this episode:
- The flaws in diagnosing narcissistic personality disorder
- How to prioritize safety and well-being in abusive situations
- Why using the label "narcissist" has become divisive
I’ll discuss the official process of diagnosing someone with narcissistic personality disorder and why it's severely flawed. It's essential to note that just because someone isn't diagnosed with NPD it doesn't mean they can't still exhibit abusive behavior. Abuse is abuse, and it's never okay. Whether your partner has been diagnosed or not, it's crucial to prioritize your safety and well-being. Even if those around you don't believe you, know that your experience is valid, and you deserve to be safe. I hope this episode will provide insight and support for those of you who may be struggling with narcissistic abuse.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In this episode, I discuss trauma bonding and what it is. Trauma bonding can be difficult to break, and many people do not understand what a trauma bond is. I talk about how I found myself in a relationship with a narcissist and how I would say things to myself like "is there something wrong with me?" I was a people pleaser and a "good person" who thought I needed everyone else to show me my worth. We end up attracting people like narcissists when we place our worth in someone's hands and we may feel good at some stages in the relationship, but eventually, things start to feel heavy.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why you may find that you can’t attract anyone BUT narcissists
- What trauma bonding is and why you must solve it
- How I healed myself from the narcissist addiction
Now if you’re reading this before Thursday, the 23rd of March, 2023, you’ll have time to join my FREE Masterclass called Breaking The Trauma Bond To A Narcissist. I'm going to be showing you all about what trauma bonding is. From what is a trauma bond, what happens in your brain and your body when we are trauma bonded to a narcissist, to of course the question we all want answered, how do you break it? You can find all the details to this FREE masterclass here: https://carolinestrawson.com/trauma-bond
Resources:
- FREE Masterclass Breaking The Trauma Bond To A Narcissist - Click here to enrol https://carolinestrawson.com/trauma-bond
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today I’m going to explore the concept of generational trauma and how it can affect your response to traumatic events. I’ll explain the difference between intergenerational trauma and transgenerational trauma, and how the former refers to the projection of trauma from past generations onto the present, while the latter is the literal passing down of trauma at a cellular level. I also discuss my work with Somatic Experiencing and Internal Family Systems and how these tools can look at the experience of the body whilst we are going through life, and allow us to redefine our experience of what has happened in our life, as we can never change what has happened to us in the past, but what we can do is change our experience of it.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How generational trauma impacts us in the present
- Why healing yourself will help the next generation
- What we can learn from Somatic Experiencing and Internal Family Systems
- Methods to approaching your trauma and redefining it
Generational trauma has a huge impact on your body's response to current trauma and so I’ll explain the different trauma responses that you may experience, such as fight, flight, freeze, and fawn, and how each one of these responses may come up depending on how generational trauma has impacted you. It’s so important to recognize the body's natural response to danger and trauma and how it can affect your ability to cope with abusive relationships, so I hope this episode helps you in your current situation and also helps you prepare for how you can handle trauma in the future.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today I’m going to be discussing the topic of being an empath and what that means. I’ll explore the difference between being an empath and being empathic, what a co-dependent is, and how to recover from co-dependency. I’ll also discuss the negative side effects of being an empath, from how it can attract abuse from narcissists, how it causes you to take on the pain of others and how this can all lead to physical ailments.
What you will learn in this episode:
- The difference between being an empath and being empathic
- What you can do to reduce the pain you feel from others
- What co-dependency is and a way to heal from it
I’ll share strategies for empaths to move from being exhausted to empowered, what you can do to separate the pain of others from your own, and how to reduce physical issues like inflammation and swelling. By sharing my personal journey, I hope to provide you with the resources and strategies you need to live your best life as an empath or co-dependent. I know that sometimes it may seem like you’ll always be stuck in a downward spiral, but I’m going to make sure you have the tools to not only recover but to also live a better life going forward.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In today's episode, I want to bring your attention to a particularly perilous type of narcissist known as the covert narcissist. Typically, we associate narcissism with individuals who are extremely extroverted and crave attention, often commanding the room's focus. However, it's crucial to note that not all extroverted people are narcissistic - this is far from the truth. The issue with covert narcissists is that they operate under the radar, making them much more difficult to detect until it's too late and you've become entangled with them. Once the relationship is established, the narcissistic abuse begins. In this episode, I'll be examining the ways in which you can spot a covert narcissist, their tactics for achieving their goals, and how to steer clear of them.
What you will learn in this episode:
- The difference between a narcissist and a cover narcissist
- How to spot a covert narcissist
- Why a covert narcissist can be extremely dangerous
Knowing the various ways in which a covert narcissist behaves can help you identify them before it's too late. One of the tell-tale signs is their tendency to play the victim, refusing to take responsibility and instead blaming external factors for their situation. This behaviour is a major red flag in the early stages of a relationship with a covert narcissist. Another tactic they employ is making you feel guilty, often through expert manipulation techniques like gaslighting. They may convince you that you're solely responsible for the relationship's problems, leading you to believe that you're the one at fault. To illustrate these behaviours in real-world scenarios, I'll be sharing my own experiences with my covert narcissistic ex-husband and the warning signs I missed, as well as offering advice on how to avoid making similar mistakes.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today, I will be delving into the financial dimension of divorce with Rhonda Noordyk. Rhonda Noordyk, a CDFA® certified professional, specializes in guiding women through the financial complexities of divorce. She has made a name for herself by trailblazing new strategies that empower women to navigate the financial aspects of divorce with confidence. Rhonda's expertise as a financial strategist helps her clients make informed decisions and determine their best financial options going forward.
A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:
- Why you can leave an abusive relationship no matter your financial situation
- How to be assertive whilst avoiding conflict
- How the divorce process can lead to post-separation financial abuse
During this discussion, Rhonda and I explore the roots of her passion for empowering women, tracing back to her childhood, 12 years in the financial industry, and experience in higher education. We delve into the unfortunate reality that many women remain in abusive relationships due to their financial circumstances. Rhonda provides invaluable insight into why it is crucial to leave an abusive relationship regardless of your finances and how you can do so. Don't miss the conclusion where Rhonda offers guidance on what steps to take if you feel trapped, scared, and uncertain about your financial situation before initiating a divorce.
Connect with Rhonda:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rhondanoordyk/?hl=en
- Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/divorce-conversations-for-women/id1368648405
- Women’s Financial Wellness Center: https://wfwcdivorce.com
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
So today is Valentine's Day, and unfortunately, this can be a difficult day for those who have suffered from narcissistic abuse. While this day is meant to celebrate love, a narcissist can use it as a tool to hurt and manipulate. In this episode, I'll share strategies to help you manage the emotions you may experience on valentines day, advice on healing post-narcissistic trauma, and ways to love yourself on this special day. Also, you may have noticed a slight change in the podcast title. I have decided to include the word "abuse" in the title of the podcast again since it cannot be changed that we have suffered abuse. However, we can work on healing from the trauma caused by the abuse. By acknowledging that we have been abused and not shying away from that word, we can make progress in our trauma recovery.
What you will learn in this episode:
- The strategies a narcissist may employ to manipulate or control you on Valentine's Day.
- How to protect yourself on Valentine's Day and resist narcissistic abuse
- What you can do to love yourself and practice self-care
On these special days of the year, such as valentines day, the narcissist can disappear, and this happened to me. I’ll share my story of how my partner disappeared before we were supposed to go on an exciting camping trip with my children. I’ll discuss how my ex used this opportunity to ruin a holiday to exert control over me and my children, and how you can avoid the same thing happening to you. On Valentine’s day especially, believing that you are lovable can be difficult, but it is important to remember how special and unique you are. So today I want you to practice self-care and do something that makes you feel good. Focus on the positive aspects of yourself, and show yourself some kindness. Remind yourself that you are worthy of love and that you deserve to be celebrated on this special day.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today I am speaking with Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson, the co-founders of Been There Got Out. Lisa is a high-conflict divorce coach and a certified domestic violence advocate who has successfully represented herself in numerous court cases. Chris, who developed the Been There Got Out podcast and manages the website and technology, is a certified high-conflict divorce coach specializing in writing high-conflict parenting plans. Both Chris and Lisa have personal experience with costly divorces, totalling over $400,000, which inspired them to coach individuals facing high-conflict relationships, divorce, custody battles, and co-parenting challenges. Their goal is to help these individuals achieve the best possible outcome in family court and beyond.
A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:
- How the court system is exacerbating post-separation abuse
- The unknown resources (other than lawyers) available to aid you in navigating divorce
- What to expect when navigating the court system and why "justice" may not be obtained
In this episode, Chris and Lisa delve into what to do during a divorce. They discuss putting together a plan, keeping children safe, building a legal team, comprehending the legal system, and anticipating the other party's actions to prepare for any potential challenges. They also touch on the support and guidance they offer through their coaching program, Legal Abuse Support Group, their social media community, and their upcoming book, "Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances." Their aim is to assist individuals facing these difficult circumstances in avoiding common mistakes and achieving the best possible outcome with minimal impact on themselves and their children.
Pre-Order Lisa & Chris's New Book - Been There Got Out
Connect with Lisa & Chris:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/been_there_got_out/
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BeenThereGotOut
- Podcast: https://beentheregotout.buzzsprout.com/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BeenThereGotOut
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@been_there_got_out
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/been-there-got-out/
- Pre-Order Lisa & Chris's New Book - Been There Got Out
Resources:
- Become an Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICC3
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
If you're experiencing physical pain, chronic illness, or fatigue, and you've suffered from narcissistic abuse, it's possible that your trauma is the root cause of these physical symptoms. In this episode, I'll discuss the connection between abuse and physical reactions, including how even mental abuse can lead to physical pain. Many individuals view chronic illness and narcissistic abuse as separate entities, but they often go hand in hand. To fully heal from chronic illness, it's necessary to address and heal from the narcissistic abuse as well.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How physical pain can indicate that our body is trying to protect us from trauma
- Why healing from narcissistic abuse can alleviate physical ailments
- The role cortisol plays in how we react to narcissistic abuse
I have observed a strong link between narcissistic abuse and chronic illness not only in the communities I serve but also in my own family. I'll share my mother's story of being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and her lifelong struggle with it, and how I've come to understand that her arthritis was her body's way of protecting her from the inner pain caused by childhood abuse. I'll also delve into the connection between abuse and physical ailments such as alopecia, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, and IBS, and how cortisol can contribute to the development of these conditions.
Resources:
- Somatic Healing & Vagus Nerve Toning Programme: https://carolinestrawson.com/regulate
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today, I am SO excited to share with you a way to heal from narcissistic abuse, and at the same time help people who are struggling with the same situation. My passion is to assist people like you in overcoming the trauma of narcissistic abuse. As someone who has experienced this, I understand the difficulties of retraining the mind to move past the trauma. So, my aim is to share my knowledge and techniques with you, to aid in your personal healing journey, and to equip you with the tools to support and assist others facing similar struggles. Together, we can break the cycle of trauma and pave the way for a transformative path of healing and growth.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How to heal oneself and assist others
- The tools to retrain yourself to take your life to the next level
- Why helping others assists in your own healing journey
Listen in to learn how you can become a part of the world's only accredited coaching certification program that specializes in narcissistic abuse, where you’ll be able to transform your pain into a purposeful career by becoming an ICF and CPD Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach. You can learn more by visiting this page: https://carolinestrawson.com/ntic
Resources:
- Turn your pain into your purpose and become an ICF and CPD Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach: https://carolinestrawson.com/ntic
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Christa Cusac is a writer and coach who specializes in navigating the complex and challenging landscape of high-conflict narcissistic divorce. Christa has personally faced the struggles of post-separation abuse, but has found ways to cope and heal through the use of comedy writing, somatic work, self-hypnosis, reiki, and her own narcissism-informed coaching tools and methods. She has channelled her experiences into creating helpful resources such as card decks and journals, as well as books and screenplays, all with the goal of supporting and helping others in similar situations.
A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:
- Tips for infusing humour into the challenging experience of coping with narcissistic abuse
- The link between early childhood trauma and adult responses to abuse
- Strategies for rebuilding and creating a new life following narcissistic abuse and post-traumatic stress
In this episode, Christa delves into how she discovered the true nature of her relationship with her partner after leaving, and how she used her own intuition to navigate the trauma she faced. We'll also discuss the common tendency to keep ourselves "busy" as a means of avoiding our own intuition and how to avoid falling into that trap. Christa will also share the steps she took to rebuild her life in her 40's after experiencing the trauma of narcissistic abuse, physical illness, and post-traumatic stress.
Connect with Christa:
- Website: www.qualitysoulcoaching.com
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@christacusackoneill
- Card Deck: https://www.deckible.com/card-decks/o0-52-pick-yourself-up-deck-deal-feel-heal-christa-cusack-o-neill
Resources:
- The Unseen Wounds of Women: https://www.amazon.com/Unseen-Wounds-Women-Collection-Invisible/dp/B0BCSFF5KS
- Become an Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICC3
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
At this time of year, it's common to feel discouraged if we haven't made progress on our goals. Even though we may want to take action, something within us may be holding us back. In this episode, we'll explore the internal barriers that prevent us from reaching our goals and provide strategies for overcoming them and building momentum.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Strategies for getting unstuck and making progress
- What protector parts are and how to utilize these internal resources for personal growth
- Tools for maintaining emotional independence in the face of external influences
Ten years ago, I was trapped in narcissistic abuse and felt like there was no way out. But now, I know that it's possible to have an amazing life after recovery. One of the things that helped me get on the path to recovery was learning to listen to my mind and body. We all have different parts of ourselves - some that want to stay in, others that want to go out. Some parts that make us feel disgusted with ourselves and others that love us. It's important to understand why we have these different parts of ourselves, because even the "bad" parts are there with loving intent. In this episode, I'll share how to read the "bad" parts and see how they're trying to protect you, as well as how to make sure the "good" parts are with you more often.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Welcome to the start of a new year and a new beginning! In this episode, I’m focusing on how to kickstart your journey to a happier and healthier 2023. We know that time alone doesn't heal all wounds, so I’m going to be sharing a bottom-up approach to healing that empowers you to take control of your own recovery. You'll learn about the most powerful methods of self-healing and some tools and tactics to help you on your journey.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How you can join me for FREE and kickstart your 2023 healing journey
- Why we need to heal from a bottom-up approach instead of a top-down approach
- How the most powerful method of healing comes from within
If you’re ready to start the new year off on the right foot and leave the narcissist behind, join me for a 3-Day FREE New Year, New You, No Narcissist Bootcamp starting on January 9th! During this Bootcamp, I'll be sharing my post-traumatic growth trifecta and my trauma-informed practice with positive psychology to help you not just survive, but thrive. We'll be exploring exercises, tools, and tactics to help you get 2023 off to a great start so you can step into post-traumatic growth. Sign up now at https://carolinestrawson.com/bootcamp and let's start this new year together!
Resources:
- Join my FREE 2023 Bootcamp: https://carolinestrawson.com/bootcamp
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today we are joined by Houa Utech, a Trauma-Informed Coach and advocate who specializes in working with women recovering from betrayal trauma, covert narcissistic abuse, divorce, and post-separation abuse. Houa has a background in social work and has spent time volunteering in domestic violence shelters, but it wasn't until she experienced abuse in her own relationship that she fully understood the impact of this type of abuse.
A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:
- The manipulative tactics of narcissists, how they use fake empathy to achieve their goals
- Distinguishing narcissistic abuse from unhealthy relationships
- How to find the right support and identify a helpful professional
Houa has made it her mission to bring awareness, education, and healing resources to individuals, families, organizations, and communities, as she believes that abuse and trauma are often misunderstood, misdiagnosed, and disregarded. We’ll also delve into the flawed family court system and the efforts being made by Houa, based on her personal experience, to support those navigating this process. Houa will have her own podcast soon, This Emboldened Life, which aims to offer education, resources, survivor stories, and a sense of community for women who have experienced covert narcissistic abuse, betrayal trauma, and abuse by professionals in the family court system.
Connect with Houa:
- Email: houautech@gmail.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/houa_utech/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=728600793
Resources:
- The Unseen Wounds of Women: https://www.lulu.com/shop/houa-utech/the-unseen-wounds-of-women/paperback/product-n4dqnp.html?page=1&pageSize=4
- Become an Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICC3
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In this episode, we are joined by Andrea Humeniuk, a narcissistic abuse specialist who helps women recover and thrive after narcissistic trauma and domestic abuse. Andrea shares her own story of dealing with narcissistic abuse and being the parent of a special needs child. She offers guidance and support to other women who have experienced similar trauma, helping them build resilience and find a life they never thought was possible. I hope my discussion with Andrea helps you on your own journey to recovery.
A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:
- Why you can’t blame yourself for the behaviour of a narcissist
- The challenges and joys of raising a special needs child and what you can do to make parenting rewarding for both you and your child.
- How to feel like you have a sense of worth in this world after suffering narcissistic abuse
Andrea also emphasizes the importance of trusting your intuition and not blaming yourself for the actions of others, especially narcissists. Additionally, she discusses the struggles parents of special needs children often face and offers advice for those in similar situations. I strongly suggest connecting with Andrea if you are currently dealing with narcissistic abuse, trying to recover from trauma, or are on the journey of raising a child with special needs.
Connect with Andrea:
- Email: hello@mamashealingtraumas.com
- Website: https://mamashealingtraumas.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mamashealingtraumas/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mamashealingtraumas
Resources:
- Become an Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICC3
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Welcome back to the podcast! Before we dive into the Q & A section, I want to give you all a HUGE thank you, we just passed 3 million downloads for the podcast and I’m so grateful for every single one of you. My main purpose in life is to help and support those of you who are suffering from narcissistic abuse and help you heal, so I’m grateful that this podcast has reached so many people and I hope it’s helped some of you!
But as it’s the first Tuesday of the month, it’s this month's "Ask Me Anything" where I get to answer the questions you’ve been sending in! In the AMA section, I have decided to focus on one question, as I believe it’s so important that it needs a whole episode to discuss it. That question is “How do I move forward with my life? I just feel so numb.”
What you’ll learn in this episode:
- What functional freeze is and how to get “unfrozen”
- How to read your emotions and discover what your body is telling you
- The science of how our nervous system reacts to abuse and creates trauma
- How to transition from a freeze response and get back into feeling “normal”
My aim for these episodes is to make sure I’m discussing topics that directly impact you, so I hope my answers help you in a strong recovery from narcissistic abuse. Every first Tuesday of each month is an "Ask Me Anything" episode, so please send in your questions to hello@carolinestrawson.com where we will endeavour to answer them either in these Ask Me Anything episodes or as a topic for a full episode!
Resources:
- Join Thrivers, my low-cost monthly healing membership: https://carolinestrawson.com/thrivers
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
It’s almost Christmas time again and the holiday season is starting to get into its swing! Because of the rapidly approaching festive season, I want to share with you how to cope with the narcissist over the next month as it’s very common for the narcissist to ramp up their aggressiveness at this time of the year. From dealing with Christmas dinners with a narcissist to who has the kids for certain events, the holiday season can be really demanding for those who have to deal with a narcissist, so listen in so you can learn how you can cope over the holidays.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How to minimize the time you spend with a narcissist over the holidays
- Ways to stop the narcissist from getting their supply
- The traps narcissists will set under the guise of holiday spirit
I’ll also discuss how to set up a new communication method if you need to communicate with a narcissistic person without letting them back into your life. I hope this episode helps you prepare and plan for a great holiday time and helps you stop the narcissist in their tracks so they can’t ruin your festivities.
Resources:
- Join Thrivers, my low-cost monthly healing membership: https://carolinestrawson.com/thrivers
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Noshiela Maqsood is a mum of 5 children. She is a 3× best selling author, Master Coach, and NLP Trainer. She empowers Muslim women to heal their inner wounds and become generational change-makers. Escaping a prison sentence taught her about her self-worth, boundaries, and how much she needed to make her mental and emotional well-being a priority. She quit being a people pleaser and started saying yes to herself! After her own healing journey, overcoming depression and anxiety, she committed herself to helping women find the light within themselves. She has helped women around the world heal their inner wounds and has helped many start their own coaching businesses. She is determined to spread her message of empowering women far and wide.
A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:
- Why many Muslim women are struggling with trauma
- What rejection wounds are
- How to find self-acceptance
Noshiela is in my high-performance healing mastermind and her mission is so powerful that I knew I had to have her on the podcast. In this episode, we discuss how Muslim women are treated in their culture and how it leads to many women having trauma, and what Noshiela is doing to change this. We’ll learn about Noshiela’s upbringing and how it influences her life today and how the Muslim family environment influenced Noshiela’s view on the world and on her own healing. We’ll also discuss how our own self-talk can determine our own beliefs and how to get out of a negative mindset and into a recovery and healing mindset.
Connect with Noshiela:
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/noshiela
- Noshiela’s Coaching: https://www.noshielanoorcoaching.co.uk
- She Empowers Book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09PV6C4LK
- Free Facebook Group: "The Empowered Muslimah; Heal from Emotional Trauma to Thrive With Purpose" https://www.facebook.com/groups/1029110910583276/?ref=share
Resources:
- Become an Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICC3
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist and are looking to leave and go through the family court system or you’re currently in that court system, you MUST listen to this episode. Today's guest is Tina Swithin. Tina is the author of Divorcing a Narcissist (4-part series), founder of One Mom’s Battle, and creator of Family Court Awareness Month. She is also a founding member of the National Safe Parents Organization. Tina Swithin acted as her own attorney in a custody case that spanned six years and during this time, her children were repeatedly placed in harm's way. Tina was successful in terminating her ex-husband’s parental rights and while she is considered one of the “lucky ones,” however, for anyone to hear her story and deem her as lucky speaks volumes about the brokenness of the system. Tina works to raise awareness of the issues in the family court system and to educate the general public on post-separation abuse and narcissistic abuse.
A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:
- Why the family court system is broken and how to navigate it
- How to deal with post-separation abuse
- Ways to bring more awareness to narcissistic abuse
You’ll hear Tina’s story of her experience with a narcissistic partner and the hurdles she had to jump over to go through the family court system, which has now led her to become an advocate for bringing awareness to post-separation abuse and the broken family court system. I decided to release this episode in the month of November, as November is Family Court Awareness Month, a movement that Tina created to shine a light on how broken court systems are around the world.
Connect with Tina and learn more about bringing awareness to the broken court system:
- One Mom’s Battle Website: https://www.onemomsbattle.com/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/onemomsbattle
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onemomsbattle/
- Tina’s Amazon Page: https://www.amazon.com.au/Tina-Swithin/e/B00IR0KRSK/
- Family Court Awareness Month: https://familycourtawarenessmonth.org/
- Pink Fireworks: https://www.pinkfireworks.com
Resources:
- Become an Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICC3
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
I’m SO excited to welcome Dr. Mark Grixti onto the show this week to discuss what Brainspotting is and how it has helped people heal from narcissistic abuse and trauma. Mark is a psychologist, author, fellow podcast host, and the head of Brainspotting UK. Mark and I work collaboratively on my trauma-informed & narcissistic trauma-informed certifications where Mark does an internal Brainspotting training with us. I can’t wait for you to listen to this episode as I truly believe that Brainspotting and the work it does can help hundreds of thousands of people dealing with trauma.
A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:
- What Brainspotting is and why it’s a great treatment for trauma
- How to stop suppressing our emotions and start expressing them
- Tools to interconnect with others and use relationships to heal
In this episode, we discuss everything from what exactly Brainspotting is, why it’s a great treatment for trauma, and how Mark uses it in his practice, to how our brains have the capacity to heal built in and how we can tap into that natural response. Mark will go into detail about how Brainspotting uses our visual systems as a method of healing and why we need to stop suppressing our emotions and start expressing them. Near the end of the episode, we do a deep dive into how important relationships are, whether family, friends, or partners. We’ll discover the physiological epigenetic responses we gain from relationships and how to nurture healthy connections with others.
Connect with Mark:
- Check for upcoming Brainspotting training here: https://www.bspuk.co.uk/upcoming-training/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brainspottinguk
- Awe in Trauma podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/awe-in-trauma/id1580294433?i=1000543054793
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/BrainspottingUK
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brainspotting_uk/
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-wfQEAwQX3qr36zkhh9J0g
Resources:
- Become an Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICC3
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today’s episode is this month's "Ask Me Anything" where I get to answer the questions you’ve been sending in! In the AMA section of this episode, I discuss topics ranging from discovering a more definitive way of diagnosing a narcissist to how trauma can build up and eventually turn a person into a narcissist. I’ll also discuss why a narcissist will never apologise and take ownership of their actions and my stories of how my narcissistic ex-husband gained narcissistic supply by showing fake empathy.
If you’re listening to this at the start of November ‘22, make sure you join my FREE "Inside The Mindset of a Narcissist" Masterclass on Sunday, 6th November! You can sign up here: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/masterclass
Questions in this episode include:
- Am I the narcissist?
- Why does a narcissist never apologise?
- If someone shows empathy, does this mean they can't be a narcissist?
My aim for these episodes is to make sure I’m discussing topics that directly impact you, so I hope my answers help you in a strong recovery from narcissistic abuse. Every first Tuesday of each month is an "Ask Me Anything" episode, so please send in your questions to hello@carolinestrawson.com where we will endeavor to answer them either in these Ask Me Anything episodes or as a topic for a full episode!
Resources:
- Join my FREE "Inside The Mindset of a Narcissist" Masterclass on Sunday, 6th November: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/masterclass
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
In this episode, I talk to Heather Black who is in my High-Performance Healing Mastermind and is passionate about helping parents get back into the workplace so they can parent with flexibility and create a new, lucrative career for themselves. When I left my narcissistic partner, I had suffered from financial abuse, and as a result, I lost my house and was severely in debt. If you are feeling stuck, have been financially abused, and feel like there is no way out of your financial situation like I once did, this episode is a must-listen.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How to earn financial independence by doing something you love
- The tools to create a flexible and rewarding career
- Why you can recover from financial abuse and how to create freedom
Heather is the founder and CEO of Supermums. She is the mum of two gorgeous little girls and lives by the sea in East Sussex whilst working remotely. In 2010 she became an accidental Salesforce admin for her non-profit and loved it so much that she decided to upskill as a Salesforce Consultant in 2012 helping other non-profits to implement a CRM. She realised her career path could work for other mothers so she launched Supermums in 2016 to bring more women into the sector. As a consultant, she has overseen over 700 Salesforce projects and now enjoys upskilling talent in Salesforce consultancy and coaching skills.
Connect with Heather:
- "Take the 5-Day Challenge” and book a free 30-minute career consultation: https://supermums.org/what-is-a-salesforce-career/
- Website: https://supermums.org/
- LinkedIn :https://www.linkedin.com/in/heather-black-salesforce-women-in-tech-speaker/
Resources:
- Become an Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICC3
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Have you ever wondered if you’re the narcissist in the relationship? If so, this episode will put an end to those thoughts. There are subtle differences between having a narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic traits, in this episode I’ll explain the behaviours of these two types of people and what actually makes a person a narcissist. I also want to say a quick shout-out to all of you who came to my Unseen Wounds of Women event last week. You all made it such a special event for me, I’m so grateful for all of you.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Narcissistic traits vs narcissistic personality disorder
- How to create an environment that will help you heal
- Why a narcissist will never take ownership and responsibility
It isn’t uncommon for people to mirror the behaviour of a narcissist to soften the abuse, and due to this it’s sometimes hard to see which person is the narcissist at first, but with a little digging, it’s easy to see who the REAL narcissist is. I hope this episode provides you with the tools to find the right people to help you grow and how to let go of the “friends” that are keeping you stuck.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In this episode, I interview Kim Pontarelli, one of my trained Trauma Informed Coaches who specialises in covert narcissism, helping women step into post-traumatic growth. In this episode, Kim discusses how she has turned her own pain and struggle into her purpose and her strength. Kim also shares with us what post-traumatic growth is and how to take responsibility for your life going forward whilst stopping yourself from blaming yourself for the past.
What you will learn in this episode:
- What post-traumatic growth is and how can you achieve it
- How to get out of the cycle of blaming yourself
- The differences between overt and covert narcissists
- How to set a goal of personal growth and work towards achieving it.
Tune in to the end to hear Kim share what it’s like to be in the dark, and why you need to know that you can get out of it! Kim knows that you can thrive, as she is now living a meaningful life and for the first time ever, she feels like she is actually living. Finally, Kim also discusses what reactive abuse is, and how you can work on yourself to stop reacting negatively, but also not blaming yourself if you do lash out.
Connect with Kim:
- Website: www.kimpontarellicoaching.com
- Email: kim@kimpointarellicoaching.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimpontarellicoaching/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kimberly.vassalluzzo
Resources:
- Become an Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICC3
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today’s episode is this month's "Ask Me Anything" where I get to answer the questions you’ve been sending in! Firstly, I want to express how grateful I am to all of you who’ve supported my new book and the brave women who shared their stories in it. In the AMA section of this episode, I discuss topics ranging from feeling so stuck that it seems there’s no way forward to why your children are starting to replicate the narcissistic behaviours of your ex. I’ll also discuss how to get over the fear of dating again and how to be intentional with your healing so that you can recover from narcissistic abuse quicker and stronger.
Questions in this episode include:
- Why do I feel so stuck?
- How to parent an adult child through narcissistic abuse?
- I am too scared to date again, how can I overcome my fear?
My aim for these episodes is to make sure I’m discussing topics that directly impact you, so I hope my answers help you in a strong recovery from narcissistic abuse. Every first Tuesday of each month is an "Ask Me Anything" episode, so please send in your questions to hello@carolinestrawson.com where we will endeavor to answer them either in these Ask Me Anything episodes or as a topic for a full episode!
Resources:
- Discover the psychology of a narcissist in my FREE masterclass: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/join-my-masterclass
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
I am so excited to share with you some BIG NEWS! I have a new book out called The Unseen Wounds of Women. and I can’t wait for you to get your hands on it. So, in this episode, I’ll share with you why I wrote the book and what I hope it can do for you in your path to recovery from trauma.
You can find The Unseen Wounds of Women here: https://bit.ly/unseenwoundsofwomen
What you will learn in this episode:
- The story of how I broke the chain of generational trauma
- What you MUST know about healing from trauma caused by a narcissist
- How you can win a FREE place in my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme
My new book is about the women who dared to be vulnerable and shared how they allowed the unseen to be visible and realised that they held the key to their invisible cage. Healing their unseen wounds not only healed themselves, but it broke the generational cycle of trauma. Each chapter is a story from a woman in my Embodied Self Leadership Mastermind, and the first chapter is my story. My hope is that you can take these stories and see that no matter how dark the place you’re currently in is, there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel, you just may need to be pointed in the right direction first.
To celebrate the release of my new book, I’m running a competition where YOU could win a FREE spot on my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme. All you have to do is:
- Purchase the book
- Leave a testimonial
- Tag me in a post on Instagram and Facebook.
The competition runs until Friday the 30th of September 2022 10 pm UK time and the winners will be announced on Monday the 3rd of October via direct message to win one of the 10 places on the Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme.
Resources:
- You can find The Unseen Wounds of Women here: https://bit.ly/unseenwoundsofwomen
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Do you ever wonder why you react in the way you do and wish that you had a positive response instead of what always seems to be a negative response? If so, tune in, as in this episode I’ll break down Polyvagal Theory and how it teaches us how and why our responses are often automatic. By knowing how our nervous system controls our responses, we can start to point ourselves in the direction of growth by integrating a recovery programme that can change how we feel for the better.
What you will learn in this episode:
- What Polyvagal Theory is and how your vagus nerve regulates your reactions
- The science behind trusting your gut
- How cortisol and adrenaline play a role in your perception of narcissistic abuse
I’ll also discuss how you can use the traffic light system to define where you are in your trauma recovery. At the end of the day, I want you to know how you can turn your pain into your purpose, and by learning more about your nervous system, you’ll be able to create a recovery plan to influence how your nervous system can help you for the better. If you want to learn about these topics on a much greater scale, you can check out my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme here: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In this Survivor Stories episode, you’ll meet Sarada Rao, a Narcissistic Abuse Survivor and one of my students in my Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coaching Certification who is driven to help women from the South Asian Community. We’ll discover how Sarada is turning her pain and struggle into her purpose and strength to help women from the South East Asian community to recognise narcissistic abuse and recover from it.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Sarada’s story of recovery from narcissistic parents to an arranged marriage with a narcissist
- How the South East Asian culture creates abuse and narcissism
- What post-separation abuse is and how to deal with it
Sarada discusses how she discovered what narcissism is after a childhood of narcissistic abuse from her parents which led to an arranged marriage with a narcissist. Then throughout the episode, we’ll see where Sarada is now, so that women, especially those from the South East Asian community, can see what the light at the end of the tunnel can look like in terms of recovery from narcissistic abuse.
Connect with Sarada:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/evolution.of.sarada/
Resources:
-
Become an Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICC3
-
Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today’s episode is this month's "Ask Me Anything" where I get to answer the questions you’ve been sending in! In this episode, I discuss topics ranging from why you may be struggling to find the energy to exercise because of a trauma response, to the number #1 thing that you can do to get back into dating. I’ll also discuss how to stop your children from developing narcissistic behaviours when they spend time with your narcissistic ex-partner and if a narcissist can actually be cured.
Questions in this episode include:
- Why is it so hard to find any energy and exercise?
- My 7-year-old son is exhibiting narcissistic behaviours...Help!!
- Can you cure a narcissist?
- How can I start dating again after the narcissist?
My aim for these episodes is to make sure I’m discussing topics that directly impact you, so I hope my answers help you in a strong recovery from narcissistic abuse. Every first Tuesday of each month is an "Ask Me Anything" episode, so please send in your questions to hello@carolinestrawson.com where we will endeavour to answer them either in these Ask Me Anything episodes or as a topic for a full episode!
Resources:
- Discover the psychology of a narcissist in my FREE masterclass: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/join-my-masterclass
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
Have you left a narcissist and want to get back into dating, but are now scared you may fall into a relationship with another narcissist? If so, this episode is for you. Dating can be hard for anyone, but it’s particularly difficult, and even traumatic, for those of us who have been in a narcissistic relationship. In this episode, I’ll help you rediscover your confidence to start dating again by showing you what a narcissist looks for in a partner, so you can avoid those “attractive to a narcissist” behaviours.
What you will learn in this episode:
- The traits narcissists will look for in you
- How to see the early warning signs of a narcissistic personality
- What steps you can take to safely start dating again
I’ll also discuss how there are many types of narcissists, from covert to overt, grandiose to vulnerable, as it’s important to recognise what type of narcissists are out there to improve your chances of avoiding them. I hope that with the information in this episode, you can move from post-traumatic stress to post-traumatic growth and find yourself in a happy and functional relationship going forward.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Have you left a narcissist and want to get back into dating, but are now scared you may fall into a relationship with another narcissist? If so, this episode is for you. Dating can be hard for anyone, but it’s particularly difficult, and even traumatic, for those of us who have been in a narcissistic relationship. In this episode, I’ll help you rediscover your confidence to start dating again by showing you what a narcissist looks for in a partner, so you can avoid those “attractive to a narcissist” behaviours.
What you will learn in this episode:
- The traits narcissists will look for in you
- How to see the early warning signs of a narcissistic personality
- What steps you can take to safely start dating again
I’ll also discuss how there are many types of narcissists, from covert to overt, grandiose to vulnerable, as it’s important to recognise what type of narcissists are out there to improve your chances of avoiding them. I hope that with the information in this episode, you can move from post-traumatic stress to post-traumatic growth and find yourself in a happy and functional relationship going forward.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Have you been in a narcissistic relationship and are now scared to jump back into the dating scene for fears of ending up with another narcissist? If so, this episode is for you. By getting back into dating, we further our path to recovery, so it’s important to prepare ourselves for dating and to avoid falling into a narcissist's trap. One of the ways to avoid narcissists is to understand how they use love bombing to entice you into a relationship.
What you will learn in this episode:
- What love bombing is and how to see the red flags
- How to start dating again whilst avoiding narcissists
- What co-dependency is and how protector parts work inside of us
We must remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel! There is hope. We may date some more narcissists along the way, but I hope with the information in this episode you can avoid them and end up growing into a great relationship.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In today’s episode, I hear Aneela Mehkri’s story of how she knew that something was always wrong with her mum, but she didn’t know it was Narcissism until she was 30. We’ll learn how a household of dysfunction, arguments, and fights led to Aneela discovering what narcissism is and how it impacted her life emotionally, mentally, and physically.
What you will learn in this episode:
- What Enmeshment is and how it plays a role in Aneela’s life.
- How to learn to trust your feelings and listen to your body.
- Why abuse is abuse. Just because they’re family, it doesn’t excuse abuse.
Aneela discusses how her mother and the culture in Pakistan caused her to have insecurity growing up by teaching her to not discuss what was happening inside her household with other families and friends. We’ll then learn how Aneela got on the pathway to recovery from her mother's narcissism and the wounds it caused, and how she is now helping others heal from narcissistic abuse with her work as a Humanistic Integrative Therapist.
Connect with Aneela:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aneelamehkri/?hl=en
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Have you ever said to yourself “I feel so stupid… I’m so fat… I’m so ugly?” If so, you’re not alone. I used to say those words to myself all the time, I felt disgusted at myself and I definitely didn’t want to look at my body in the mirror. This was all happening whilst I was married to my narcissistic ex-husband, he had deeply impacted my sense of self and my physical appearance is what I honed in on.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why we can body shame ourselves whilst being in a narcissistic relationship.
- How to stop negative self talk and start to love ourselves.
- What IFS is (internal family systems) and how it can be extremely powerful in creating transformation in each one of us.
Body shaming can be a huge part of narcissistic abuse, because we’ll blame ourselves for what’s happening and take it out on ourself. My hope for this episode is that I can put you on the right track to love yourself and feel comfortable in your own body in the process of healing from narcissistic abuse.
Here is the link to book your FREE call with one of my Narcissistic Abuse Ambassadors to get your very own Personalised Healing Map with the steps to start your healing journey with where you are right now: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/personalised-healing-map-call
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today’s episode is this month's "Ask Me Anything" where I get to answer the questions you’ve been sending in! In this episode, I discuss topics ranging from why people struggle to leave abusive relationships to why your sex drive is low after dating a narcissist. I’ll also do a deep dive on how we become addicted to the chemicals inside our brain and why we may stay in an abusive relationship to seek out those feel-good chemicals.
Questions in this episode include:
- Why can't I just leave?
- How do I know I am not a narcissist?
- How to support your children when your ex-narcissist introduces a new supply?
- Why am I still not interested in sex after breaking up from a narcissist?
My aim for these episodes is to make sure I’m discussing topics that directly impact you, so I hope my answers help you in a strong recovery from narcissistic abuse. Every first Tuesday of each month is an "Ask Me Anything" episode, so please send in your questions to hello@carolinestrawson.com where we will endeavour to answer them either in these Ask Me Anything episodes or as a topic for a full episode!
Resources:
-
Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
Anger is one of the biggest emotions I see directed at the narcissist, and sometimes even more at the other woman or man that your narcissistic partner has cheated with. In this episode, I will discuss what happens inside our body and brain when anger is building up and why it’s important to know how to deal with this emotion so that we can start to heal from our past traumas.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Where anger comes from and how to deal with it
- How anger played a role in my relationship with a narcissist
- The role our inner child wounds play in our healing process
Anger certainly showed its face when I was dealing with my narcissistic ex-husband, and thankfully I was able to direct the emotions I was feeling to help me through the healing process. It’s important that we know how to direct these emotions. I hope this episode and discussion around anger will help you along your healing journey, as what builds inside of us as an emotion can eventually lead to real physical illnesses.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In today’s episode, I hear Devena Simon’s story of how she navigated her healing journey from being in a relationship with a narcissist. In this new series, I will be having conversations with people who have survived narcissistic abuse. My hope is that I can bring you examples of what happens within narcissistic relationships so that you can know how to react and survive if you happen to experience the same things.
What you will learn in this episode:
- What reactive abuse is and how it played a part in Devena suffering from trauma
- How to deal with financial abuse
- Lessons to convert post narcissistic trauma to post-trauma growth
Devena describes how her high school sweetheart turned into her narcissist. We’ll discover the warning signs that she wished she had seen when she first met her boyfriend, and she’ll share how she has managed to live a better life by healing from her narcissistic trauma. Devena hopes that her experience with a narcissist can help you avoid the same pitfalls, whilst mending bridges and rebuilding your life.
Connect with Devena:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unspilled_tea/
Resources:
-
Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
-
Become an ACCREDITED & CERTIFIED NARCISSISTIC TRAUMA INFORMED COACH: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICC3
In today's episode, I am interviewing Brooke Bownes who is a Trauma-Informed Therapist and Coach, specialising in helping women heal their mother wounds associated with narcissistic abuse, she is also a valued member of my Embodied SELF Leadership Mastermind. I have no first-hand experience with a narcissistic parent, so I thought this would be a great opportunity to have Brooke on the show to discuss her experiences with her narcissistic mother.
What you will learn in this episode:
- What a mother wound is and how to heal from it
- Why having a narcissistic parent can lead you to be in a relationship with a narcissist
- The healing methods of recovering from a narcissistic parent
Brooke was so kind to share her story about her narcissistic mother, from how she was treated as a child to the moment she realised that her mother was actually a narcissist. Brooke discusses how she managed to get on the path of healing herself to avoid passing on any narcissistic traits to her own children. I hope that these conversations will help you on your healing journey and perhaps they’ll make you see why people behave in the way they do.
Guest Resources:
- Brooke’s Email: Brooke@brookebownes.com
- Brooke’s Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theconfidencecommunitybeconfidentseenheardhavefun/
- Brooke’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brookebownes
- You Can Have It! How to Breakthrough the self sabotage cycle:
UK link: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09DX7PB11
US link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09DX7PB11
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today’s episode is this month's "Ask Me Anything" where I get to answer the questions you’ve been sending in! I’ve received so many questions from you since our first “AMA” last month and I’m so happy that we can engage in this way. In this episode, I discuss topics ranging from why people don’t believe your story about a narcissist to how to deal with a trauma bond. I’ve tried to pick the questions that I believe will relate to the majority of you.
Questions in this episode include:
- What to do when no one believes you
- How to stop thinking about the narcissist when you have broken up
- How to finally move on if you have felt stuck for years
- What to do after you have worked on your healing
My aim for these episodes is to make sure I’m discussing topics that directly impact you, so I hope my answers help you in a strong recovery from narcissistic abuse. Every first Tuesday of each month is an "Ask Me Anything" episode, so please send in your questions to hello@carolinestrawson.com where we will endeavor to answer them either in these Ask Me Anything episodes or as a topic for a full episode!
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
Our mind and body can act in unusual ways after leaving a narcissist, and it’s vital to know why we may be showing behaviours that didn’t appear before. One of those behaviours can be extreme promiscuity, and that’s what I want to discuss in today’s episode of The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why our promiscuity can come out after leaving a narcissistic partner
- How being promiscuous can help heal our inner wounds
- The reasons why our protector parts show up in unusual ways
Promiscuity after leaving a narcissist can occur because it’s our protector part of our nervous system trying to tackle our trauma head-on. Our inner wounds of not feeling good enough & feeling responsible for the relationship with the narcissist causes trauma which can lead to issues with our promiscuity. So in this episode, I discuss why our promiscuity can suddenly appear and the real meaning of it. Feel free to send me a message via my socials or through hello@carolinestrawson.com so we can discuss why promiscuity may be showing up for you.
Resources:
-
Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
With it being fathers day this past weekend, I wanted to share some top tips on how you can cope through special occasions, such as birthdays, Christmas, and family events when there’s a narcissist involved. On big occasions, narcissists will often guilt trip you to connect with them, and you may even feel like you should give them another chance. It’s important to not fall into their trap, so in this episode, I’ll give you five ways to ignore the narcissist on special occasions.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Tactics from blocking out the narcissist, to controlling our own emotions.
- How narcissists use special occasions to prey on those they want to control.
- Why our nervous system reacts in the way it does leading up to these events.
These special events can be a great opportunity to take back your power, to show the narcissist that you will not be drawn back to them and that they won’t get their narcissistic supply from you. So use the methods I discuss to expand the gap between you and the narcissist and to make it incredibly difficult or impossible for them to reconnect with you.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
A narcissist will always need their narcissistic supply, and as they look for their next hit, the narcissistic abuse cycle will continue. In this episode, I will discuss what the narcissistic abuse cycle is and how we may find ourselves in it. From love bombing, to gaslighting, to straight-up abuse, the narcissistic abuse cycle can be incredibly damaging, so my hope with this episode is that you can identify what stage of the cycle you’re in and how to get out of it.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Are you destined to be in a narcissistic relationship?
- Why you must stop feeling guilty and how to break the narcissistic abuse cycle
- How narcissists will manipulate you to get their narcissistic supply
I discuss how I fell into the narcissistic abuse cycle and why I ended up with a narcissist based on my childhood experiences. I hope that my experience can help you understand why you may be going through the narcissistic abuse cycle. It’s also important to know that the narcissistic abuse cycle isn’t always a downwards trajectory where each stage is worse than the last. Sometimes the narcissist will love bomb again to get what they need. This is why it’s called a cycle.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
It is time to celebrate YOU! We have hit over 2 million downloads now and appreciate each and every one of you. Today's episode is also the 100th episode, so it is a DOUBLE CELEBRATION, and today is all about "Ask Me Anything" where many of you have been sending in questions and these get answered. For this episode, I’ve tried to pick the questions that I believe will relate to the majority of you.
Questions in this episode include:
- Was the relationship ever real?
- How can I help my children who look like they are following in their fathers narcissistic traits?
- My husband is copying his narcissistic mother, so is he now a narcissist?
- How do I deal with flying monkeys?
- Why is a narcissist not like this with everyone?
These questions and more are all answered in this extended episode. Every first Tuesday of each month will now be an "Ask Me Anything" episode, so please send in your questions to hello@carolinestrawson.com where we will endeavour to answer them either in these Ask Me Anything episodes or as a topic for a full episode!
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
Fight, flight and freeze are common trauma responses, but there’s a fourth called Fawn which is often experienced when dealing with a narcissist. These trauma responses are controlled by your nervous system and are typically out of your control, you will respond in the present based on what you have experienced in the past. So, in this episode, I discuss the science behind trauma responses and why this often uncontrollable reaction is designed to keep you safe.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why we have trauma responses built into us and what causes them to be triggered
- What the fawn trauma response is and the correlation to narcissistic abuse
- How my nervous system reacted to narcissistic abuse
I break down how each trauma response works and how they impact your behaviour, from short term reactions to long term behaviour changes.
If you’re listening to this episode close to its release date, I would love to hear what questions you would like to hear me answer! In episode 100, I will be answering your questions! So, feel free to email me at hello@carolinestrawson.com with your questions and I’ll hopefully be able to answer them in my next episode.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
There is a correlation between the consumption of pornography, watching sex, and engaging in sex with narcissistic personality types. So, in this episode, I discuss how these habits can impact a relationship and what you can do to ensure you don’t become manipulated by a narcissist's desires.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why narcissists are often addicted to porn and sex
- How a narcissist will gaslight you into doing something you don’t want to
- Methods to noticing what a narcissist is doing and how to create an exit strategy
I explore how porn addiction can lead to a narcissist gaslighting you, why you may be forced to loosen your boundaries because of your involuntary survival responses, and how porn soothes a narcissist's inner wounds. I hope this episode helps you realise what your narcissistic partner is doing so that you can plan toward a healthy exit strategy.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Covert narcissists are quite often the most dangerous, so it’s imperative that you know how to spot one. So, in this episode, I will share the telltale signs of a covert narcissist, from how they act in public compared to in private, to the passive-aggressive behaviours that they’ll show.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why covert narcissists are the most dangerous
- How to safely cut off the narcissistic supply that you may be giving
- What codependency is and why it plays a role in the covert narcissist
Covert narcissists will act as the nicest person possible when in front of your friends and family, so that when you go to them for help, your family and friends will not believe you as you’ll be explaining a completely different person to what they’re used to. So, the first thing you need to know is that I believe you and that you also need to believe yourself, as finding a support structure is so important to getting the ball rolling on dealing with a covert narcissist.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Narcissists will attempt to put the blame on you for a fractured relationship by causing you to lash out, this is called Reactive Abuse and whilst there is so much in the public domain at the moment with court cases like Johnny Depp V Amber Heard (the only winners here are the lawyers), it is an ideal opportunity to learn and educate ourselves about the devastating effects.
What you will learn in this episode:
- What reactive abuse is
- How to deal with a situation where reactive abuse is happening
- Why you cannot blame yourself if you lash out when a narcissist is pushing your buttons
In this episode, I will discuss the tactics narcissists use to perpetrate reactive abuse, and how to deal with a situation where reactive abuse is happening. Narcissists will often use your lashing out to blame YOU for the problems in the relationship, so I hope this episode will help you understand that your lashing out is not your fault.
Resources:
-
Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
I was scrolling on Instagram when I discovered a post about empaths and found that the comments were extremely judgemental, saying that empaths do not exist. So, in this episode, I discuss what an empath is and share the scientific evidence that proves empaths are real. As well as discussing empaths, I discuss what being a codependent is and I also share what the fourth trauma response is.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why being an empath is different from having empathy
- The scientific difference between empaths and narcissists
- How you can go from being an exhausted empath to an empowered empath
After discussing empaths, I dive into what a codependent is, why childhood trauma can turn you into a codependent, and how you can become a recovered codependent, then I’ll share that there is a fourth trauma response state. You have fight, flight and freeze, as well as the fawn response, so I’ll explore what this response is and why narcissitic abuse can lead to having this response.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Do you have an inkling that you may be living with a narcissist? It could be your partner, a housemate or even a member of your family. Your suspicion may be correct, so in this episode, I’m going to share 5 ways to recognise if you’re living with a narcissist.
What you will learn in this episode:
- The common behaviours of a narcissist
- How covert narcissists differ from overt narcissists
- Ways to navigate around a narcissist so you can distance yourself
It’s so important to know that you’re living with a narcissist, because once you know who it is you’re living with, you’ll have a better chance of being able to deal with them. I’ll discuss common narcissistic behaviours, from how they interact with different people to the emotions they show. Reach out to me through support@carolinestrawson.com or message me on Facebook & Instagram so that we can bring you into our community to help you deal with what you are going through.
Resources:
- Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
It is estimated that over 20% of a country's population is suffering from chronic pain, and often the root cause of the pain is unknown. However, for those suffering from emotional trauma, such as being in an abusive relationship with a narcissist, chronic pain can be a symptom of that emotional trauma.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why your chronic physical pain could be caused by emotional trauma
- How your body reacts to traumatic situations and what issues that can cause
- The methods to solving chronic pain by analysing your inner emotional wounds
In this episode, I’m going to discuss how our body deals with narcissistic abuse and why your emotional pain can often manifest itself as physical pain. The knowledge of how your brain, nervous system and body react to emotional trauma can be the key to being able to solve chronic pain, so I hope this episode can help you understand why you may be feeling the way you do.
Resources:
-
Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Your inner critic can often become overwhelming and we will perceive it to be having a negative impact on us. However, if we redefine what the inner critic is, we can start to learn what it is really there for and how to use it to identify and overcome our inner wounds.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why we have an inner critic and what role it plays
- How to identify and overcome your inner wounds
- Why you should perceive your inner critic as a good thing
In this episode I will discuss how to deal with your inner critic by identifying and overcoming your inner wounds as well as why we have an inner critic, because you aren’t a critical person, there’s a part of you that is designed to be critical to be able to help you overcome your past.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
- The Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coaching Certification Waitlist: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICCWaitlist2022
Join my FREE Masterclass on "The 4 Stages Of Trauma Bonding With A Narcissist" - Register here and you will be sent a recording if you can't make it LIVE https://go.carolinestrawson.com/nticc-masterclass-organic
-
I want you to understand why you feel the way you do with a narcissist, and I hope this episode and my FREE Masterclass this Thursday (April 7th, 2022) will help shine a light on your feelings and how to break a trauma bond and cure your addiction to a narcissist.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why we become physiologically addicted to being in a relationship
- How to break a trauma bond and end your addiction to a narcissist
- The biology behind narcissistic addiction
Becoming addicted to a narcissist and the hormones you get from being in a relationship is not your fault. Your body is designed to react in certain ways to protect you, but you must know how this biology works so that you can end your narcissistic addiction safely.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Narcissists love to have everything go their way, so when they don’t have that control, they can start to be negatively impacted. A narcissist not having control can open up a way for you to exit your relationship with them. In this episode, I will share the story of how my relationship with a narcissist came to an end and how I learned what a narcissist reacts to negatively.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How I dealt with my narcissistic ex and how he reacted to my success
- The two things a narcissist will be hurt by and why they hate to give up control
- Why narcissists react negatively to seeing others succeed
I hope this episode helps you mold your relationship with a narcissist to a point where you can leave the relationship so that you can begin to transform and heal yourself. Narcissists will always be hurt by the two things I will share with you in this episode, so listen carefully.
Resources:
- The Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coaching Certification Waitlist: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICCWaitlist2022
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS PODCAST, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE PODCAST AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT
There are many facets of narcissistic abuse, and one of the most controlling forms of abuse is financial & economic abuse. In this episode, I will share my experience of dealing with financial abuse and how you can avoid falling into this situation and also find resources and places to go to if you are currently dealing with financial abuse.
What you will learn in this episode:
- The ways a narcissist can abuse you by leveraging your financial situation
- How to find help and the legalities of financial abuse
- Why you may face financial abuse after seperating from a narcissist
Financial abuse is one of the most potent ways a narcissist can control you, so learning how to avoid it or get out of it is pivotal in finding a life of freedom. I hope that my story and the knowledge of the 5 main types of financial abuse will help you in your situation.
Resources:
- The Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coaching Certification Waitlist: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICCWaitlist2022
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS PODCAST, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE PODCAST AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT
The overt narcissist we see, but the covert narcissist is much more subtle and a lot harder to recognize, so in this episode, I am going to walk you through the common warning signs to look for if you have a feeling you may be dealing with a narcissist.
What you will learn in this episode:
- Why some narcissists fly under the radar and how to spot them
- How narcissists deflect and use a victim mindset to make you feel bad for them
- What to do when your friends and family don’t believe your partner is a narcissist
Spotting a covert narcissist is so important, because the person you meet in public who comes across as friendly can be an entirely different person behind closed doors. So I hope this episode helps you avoid dealing with a narcissist in the future, and also helps those of you who are currently dealing with a covert narcissist.
Resources:
- The Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coaching Certification Waitlist: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICCWaitlist2022
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS PODCAST, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE PODCAST AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT
There are things a narcissist will absolutely never do, and you need to know what they are so you don’t sit around waiting for an apology or for their behavior to change. So in this episode, I’m going to discuss the 7 things a narcissist will never do and how you can spot these behaviors.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- What emotions a narcissist will display and what they’re trying to get out of them
- How narcissists will avoid certain behaviors and how to spot this
- Why you have to stop waiting for their personality to change
I know there are people out there who are waiting for their partner to apologize (I was one of them once), so I hope this episode will shine a light on why a narcissist will NEVER show real positive behaviors and empathy that could lead them to apologizing.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS PODCAST, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE PODCAST AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT
Is Vladimir Putin a malignant narcissist? In this episode, I discuss how people become narcissists and how Putin’s childhood developed him into the man he is today. My heart goes out to the people of Ukraine and I wish nothing but the best for the country during this troubling time.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- Why people become narcissists and how childhood plays a big part
- What we can learn from Vladimir Putin’s personality to better understand people with a narcissistic personality
- The reasons why Vladimir Putin may be a malignant narcissist
Being the golden child in his family led Putin to seek a sense of worth from people at every stage of his life. I hope that what we can learn from Vladimir Putin’s personality helps us to better understand people with a narcissistic personality.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS PODCAST, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE PODCAST AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT
It’s so common to avoid intimacy once you discover that you are in a relationship with a narcissist, and no, it isn’t because you are frigid! In this episode, I will discuss how our nervous system reacts to intimacy with a narcissist and why your reaction will usually keep you safe.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- How your approach to sex is impacted by being in a relationship with a narcissist
- Why you will avoid intimacy to stay safe in your relationship
- Strategies to regain an intimate life after leaving a narcissist
- How to admit to avoiding intimacy
I’ll also discuss how to regain your intimacy once you’ve left a narcissistic relationship by being able to deconstruct the emotions you are feeling and using a negative reaction to create a positive outcome. We can’t change what has happened, but we can absolutely change how your body reacts to your past experiences.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
It’s common to think that your relationship is getting better when your partner starts showing empathy, but with a narcissist, they’re faking empathy to get what they want. So in this episode I’m going to show you how narcissists use empathy to manipulate the people around them and how you can ensure you don’t fall into the trap of thinking things are getting better.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- The 3 layers of empathy
- How narcissists use fake empathy to get what they want
- The medical diagnosis of narcissism and why an official diagnosis can be an issue
- How to avoid falling into the trap of fake empathy
To understand how narcissists use fake empathy, I explore the different types of empathy and how narcissists can manipulate you by taking advantage of the behavior they see in actual empaths. I hope this episode will help you identify some of the warning signs when dealing with narcissists. I’d love to hear your stories and situations in dealing with “empathic” narcissists, so please share your experiences with me by emailing hello@carolinestrawson.com
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
I have experienced what it’s like to go through a relationship with a narcissist who cheats on you, and getting out of that relationship isn’t as easy as you may think. In this episode, I’m going to discuss what my experience was, and the mindset I found myself in, that made leaving my narcissistic partner so difficult.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- My own personal experience with a narcissistic partner who is cheating
- How to deal with the shame, guilt and personal blame of a cheating partner
- Why you may find staying in the relationship more comfortable than leaving it
- Strategies to avoid blaming yourself and tips to a safe exit from the relationship
- How to find a safe community to help in your post-narcissist life
From making excuses for your partner's behaviour to blaming yourself for them cheating, it’s important to get yourself into a positive mindset so that you can leave your narcissistic partner as soon as possible. I hope my story can shed some light on what a lot of people go through when they find themselves being cheated on so that you can avoid making the same mistakes.
Resources:
- Divorce Became My Superpower: https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Became-Superpower-Caroline-Strawson/dp/1726255549
- Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
It can feel familiar to be in a relationship with a narcissist and we sometimes need reminding that a relationship with a narcissist is an unsafe relationship. So in this episode, I will discuss the three common stages of healing after leaving a narcissist. From noticing that you are in a narcissistic relationship to having post-traumatic growth, I want to help you live a safe and comfortable life again.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- How to notice that you’re in an unsafe relationship
- Deciding when to leave a narcissistic relationship
- How to live a post-narcissistic life
- Why we may feel comfortable with a narcissist and how to break that pattern
- How to approach a normal relationship and why it may feel strange
We will typically end up with narcissists because we’ve been in unhealthy relationships previously, so after breaking up with a narcissist we need to learn how to function in a healthy relationship. The 3 stages of healing that I share in this episode will help you feel comfortable in a “normal” relationship and will hopefully help you lead a better and more fulfilling life.
Resources:
- Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
I have some BIG NEWS! I’m currently in the process of planning the relaunch of The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast and I want YOU to have a say in the future of the podcast. Your comments and emails have been so amazing over the last year and I want nothing more than to make sure you know how grateful I am for you. So listen in to hear how you can shape the podcast so that I know what topics you want me to cover, what guests I should bring on and most of all, how I can help you in your recovery.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- The plan for this podcast and how thankful I am for YOU
- How you can influence and shape the future of this podcast
- Why safety is THE priority when discussing narcissistic trauma
- The ways you can get in touch with me so I can hopefully help you
I want to give you the ability to mould the future of my podcast so that I can help you the most! I want to know what you’ve enjoyed so far and what content you’d love to hear in new episodes. If you’d be so kind as to leave me feedback on the podcast to give me an insight into what you’d like to hear in future episodes, I’d be so grateful. You can let me know what you want from the podcast by filling out this form here: https://form.jotform.com/220232614900341
Resources:
- Have your say on the future of this podcast: https://form.jotform.com/220232614900341
- Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In this episode, we will talk about depression and narcissistic abuse. Although there is some controversy around whether narcissistic abuse causes depression or not, once depression is identified in the victims of narcissistic abuse, that is not really relevant from a trauma-informed perspective. The focus should be on the origin of that depression and on the protector parts that show up.
Today, I'll be sharing my experiences with depression during my marriage with my ex-husband, how I identified depression as a protector part for me and what it was trying to protect me from.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
How being diagnosed with postnatal depression affected me and the way I saw myself
-
What role my own stories of not feeling good enough had in my decision to stay in an abusive relationship
-
Why I now know that depression was acting as a protector part
-
The importance of getting curious about the origin of our protector parts
In my case, it wasn't that my ex-husband abuse was making me feel depressed. The core wound that stepped up for me, my "depression protector part", was protecting me from what my system considered the bigger danger at the time. So my invitation for you is, instead of trying to minimise depression symptoms, to get curious about its origin and its root cause.
Resources:
-
Episode 079 15 Gaslighting Terms A Narcissist Will Use https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/079-15-gaslighting-terms-a-narcissist-will-use/id1527479270
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
When we are in a narcissistic abusive relationship, we hear certain phrases so often that we normalise hearing them, but they actually erode our mental health. The narcissist is gaslighting us.
In this episode, we will go through 15 gaslighting phrases I heard during my marriage with a covert narcissist. We will explore the devastating effects these phrases have on our confidence, mental health and on our self-worth.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
Why gaslighting is a form of abuse, and what effects it can have on our mental health
-
The gaslighting phrases that can make us doubt our own sanity
-
Why most narcissists use these gaslighting phrases to protect themselves
-
What we can do to prevent being gaslighted by narcissist abusers
Hearing any of these 15 phrases and their variations regularly in our relationship is a huge red flag, and it should be enough to make us curious about it. The first step is to seek help, whether from a professional, a counsellor or even an online group, and then understand that we are doing what we can with the tools we have, from the programming we had from birth.
We should never forget that being in an abusive relationship is not our fault; we are in it for a reason. Once we understand that reason, we can start working on it and fix it.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Something I get asked a lot on social media is, how do I know if I'm dating a narcissist again? The decision to start dating again after a separation is personal and it doesn't have a specific time to occur. However, after suffering narcissistic abuse, whether we are looking for Mr or Mrs Right, or Mr or Mrs Right Now, one thing is sure: we want to avoid dating a narcissist. In this episode, we will go through the 12 signs you should pay attention to to know if you are dating a narcissist.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
Beware of love bombing at the beginning of the relationship
-
What a strong entitlement attitude is really telling us
-
The things we can easily spot during a casual conversation about how narcissists talk and what they talk about
-
Being alert to manipulative attitudes and the consequences of not following their plans
-
What we can read from a strong lack of commitment and a constant tendency to break the rules
-
Why narcissists put others down all the time, why they are master gaslighters, and why they don't have long-term friendships
It usually takes some time, at least six or seven dates, to spot a narcissist. However, we can have our eyes and ears open to these 12 signs, be aware of them and see if any of them rarely appears, appears often, or almost all the time. We must be patient and we don't need to go full-blown from the very beginning. If we've found the right person and the relationship is meant to be, then time is not really an issue.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
One of the most challenging things I had to deal with during my relationship with my ex-husband was emotional eating. I'll share with you the situations that triggered my emotional eating protector parts, the effects that had on my self-image, self-esteem and mental health. We will also talk about why our body chooses emotional eating to protect us and how to deal with it.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
What exactly triggered my emotional eating protector parts
-
What my emotional eating was protecting me from
-
Why emotional eating is so effective as a pain release mechanism
-
What is emotional eating distracting us from, and why we must get curious about it
Once we start recognising we are not our protector parts, that we are blended into them and that they are there to distract us from feeling pain, we'll start seeing things differently. It will be easier to lift the shame and guilt that trigger our emotional eating protector parts. Then we can get curious about why we feel that guilt or shame and work on those issues.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
We hear pretty often that co-parenting is the best thing we can do for our children. However, those coming from an abusive relationship might find it almost impossible to be friendly with their abuser. In today's episode, we will talk about co-parenting with a narcissist, the challenges we'll find there and why it can be so triggering, and we’ll also explore an alternative to co-parenting - parallel parenting.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
Why co-parenting is not always a better choice for our family situation
-
What the communication challenges are that make co-parenting so hard
-
What parallel parenting is and how to do it properly
-
Some of the mistakes I made in co-parenting that you can avoid
-
Why parallel parenting is so effective in helping us keep our sanity
We need to stop punishing ourselves for not being able to co-parent with the narcissist. We are not less of a parent if we can't co-parent. We've been in an abusive relationship and our focus must be on getting better, not on making sure the abuser is feeling better. The best thing we can give our kids is a mentally stable parent, and that’s where parallel parenting can help us.
Resources:
-
Our Family Wizard website: https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
As Christmas is getting closer, I want to talk about how to deal with a narcissist during not only this holiday, but any other type of celebration, such as birthdays or other family events.
We'll explore two different scenarios, one for those separated or divorced from a narcissist, and the other for those who have to spend the holidays with a narcissist. I'll also share tips on communicating and planning these events to reduce conflict to the minimum, and how and when to respond to the narcissist's messages.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
Why is it so challenging to celebrate any holiday in peace with a narcissist
-
What I've learned from my experience with my narcissist ex-husband during the holidays
-
The advantages of planning ahead for these events, and how it can help us in court if we need it
-
How to structure our messages when communicating our plans with our narcissist ex-spouse
-
How to approach communication when we must spend the holidays with a narcissist
We have an advantage when it comes to any holiday - we know precisely when they will happen. This allows us to plan, minimise and mitigate the conflict by creating the best-case scenario for our kids and us. Still, conflicts can appear, even if we plan ahead and do our best to avoid them. We must remember to stay in our lane, treat ourselves with kindness and avoid self-judgement if that happens.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today I want to talk about something I went through when I was suffering narcissistic abuse, which is when your family and friends tell you to ignore the narcissist. As always, we’ll look at this from a trauma-informed lens. First, we’ll understand what is so triggering about receiving this kind of comments from our loved ones, and then what we can do to stop being triggered and avoid getting into unnecessary conflicts.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
Why the phrase "just ignore them" triggers us so much
-
How hearing that from our loved ones makes us feel the need for validation
-
What kind of addiction narcissistic abuse creates
-
Why we must not feel shame or guilt for firing messages back at the narcissist
We must recognise that healing from narcissistic abuse is not just doing affirmations and repeating "I'm good enough" every day. We have to perform deep work in our bodies because traumatic experiences are stored there. They get locked in our bodies and go directly into our fascia, deep into the visceral level and into our nervous system.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
For those of us who have been victimised by a narcissist, knowing they are spreading lies about us can be really triggering. It might become worse when we see people around them believing their lies and turning into what we call flying monkeys. So in this episode, we'll unravel why narcissists feel this need to spread lies about us, why it triggers a response from us and what we can do to stop reacting to their lies.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
Why narcissists continually, habitually and pathologically choose to lie
-
The link between the narcissist’s protector parts and their need to lie about us
-
If the trigger and the activation don't come from the lie per se, where they actually come from
-
How we can protect ourselves from being triggered by a narcissist's lies about us
I used to suffer a lot because of my ex-husband's lies. I wasted tons of energy on two things I would never control - what he would say about me and what people would think when they heard that. Once I realised that, I started focusing and getting curious about what I had control over - my reaction to the lies and what protector part triggered my response.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
This week, we will talk about the negative effects of keeping repeating your story over and over. Of course, all of us who went through narcissistic abuse want to be heard and validated, and that’s why we need to tell our story. However, from a neuroscience perspective, the more we keep telling our story of abuse, the more we are slowing down our healing process. Today, we will explore how our mind works and understand what happens in our body when we talk about our story of abuse, and what can help us to overcome this trauma.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
Why repeating our story of abuse over and over makes our healing process slower
-
What Trauma Vortex is and how we get there
-
What happens in our body every time we relive our relationship with a narcissist
-
Why we must pay attention to the content we consume on the internet and on social media about narcissistic abuse
Much of the content about narcissistic abuse we see on social media is about how terrible it is, whether it is made with humour through memes or actual stories. And it is awful indeed, but that kind of content focuses on the narcissist, on the abuse and, therefore, activates the negative feelings we had while enduring that abuse. The way I see it, our focus should be elsewhere - on our recovery, what we can learn about ourselves, and what we can use from it to grow and evolve.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
If we think about our nervous system and how it responds to perceived danger, we could compare it to traffic lights. The green light is when things are relatively under control. The amber light is when some alarms are triggered, and our body gets ready to either fight or flight. The red light is when we go into the dorsal vagal shutdown - we go into freeze.
In this episode, we'll use this analogy to understand why we go into freeze mode staying in uncomfortable and painful situations, and then learn why we shouldn't judge ourselves for doing it.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
The three stages of our nervous system's response to the environment
-
Why we tend to stay in abusive relationships, even when they are excruciating
-
Why our brain thinks that sometimes freezing is the best choice for us
It is crucial to understand that although we might feel depleted because of being in constant freeze mode, our brain is satisfied with its job. From the brain's point of view, we are still alive, it is mission accomplished. We must get curious about why some situations trigger our freeze response; that is our first step into healing.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today, we will talk about the shame many of us feel for staying longer than we think we should have in an abusive relationship with a narcissist.
In this show, my main focus is to understand before judging, to be compassionate before pointing fingers, and to take care of what we feel before wasting time on what others think of us. We will look at the reasons that made us stay in an abusive relationship from a trauma-informed lens, trying to understand our nervous system and why we behave the way we do.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
The link between my childhood traumas and me becoming a perfectionist and a people-pleasing person
-
Why meeting my ex-husband, a covert narcissist, felt like I had met Prince Charming
-
Why our brain thinks that it is better to stay with the narcissist than risk the unknown world
When our protector parts are coming to the rescue, that means somehow our inner child wounds were triggered. Getting curious about what triggered them is crucial for our recovery. We can't change past events, but we can change our experience over those events and, most importantly, how we FEEL about those events. That is the beginning of our healing journey because those past traumatic experiences won't hurt us anymore.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In this episode, we will go through the different types of narcissists you can encounter. I will break down each of them, starting with the main types or the core four, and then going through the subtypes. I believe that talking about this subject will help you identify and get more clarity about the type of narcissist you may be dealing with in your life.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
The four main types of narcissists, and the main differences between them
-
The three subtypes of narcissists that go hand in hand with each one of the core four
-
Why some subtypes of narcissists are so hard to spot
These kinds of episodes are meant to help you put pieces together. They should help you have a clearer idea of the size of the problem you're dealing with, to start realising that none of what is happening to you is your fault. Narcissistic abuse happens TO you, not because of you. The sooner you get curious about the origin of your reactions to abuse, the closer you get to finding healing and closure.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
I had a fascinating conversation recently about postnatal depression and the symptoms of narcissistic abuse, and I thought it would be interesting to do an episode about it. Today I share the different challenges I faced during pregnancy, my own experience with postnatal depression, and the realisation that what I was feeling was mostly trauma-based.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
What triggered my inner wounds during my first pregnancy, and why I felt not good enough as a mother
-
How I ended up with the belief that I had to choose between being enough either as mom or wife, but not both
-
Why I decided to stay after finding out my ex-husband was cheating on me
-
Looking at postnatal depression as protector parts distracting us from being in a loveless marriage
When we come from a place of anger, depression, anxiety, self-harm or addictions, it could be a part of us protecting us from a core wound our brain believes is too painful to feel. Narcissists are specialists in shining big spotlights on our inner wounds, and the more they do that, the more our protector parts show up and get louder. Eventually, what we think is the problem, actually is a symptom of the problem, and for us to experience post-traumatic growth, it is crucial we get curious about it.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today, I will explain in depth what the Ladder of Tolerance is, how it works and how we use it in my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Program™. We will explore how our nervous system functions, hoping to remove some of the guilt and shame that narcissistic abuse imprints on us. I will share some of my own traumatic experiences as a child that made me blend with my protective parts and turn into a perfectionist, self-harming, and people-pleasing person.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
The Ladder of Tolerance and how can we use it to understand our nervous system response to abuse
-
What is post-traumatic growth, and how it can help us recover from narcissistic abuse
-
What it means that we must be taught to be in the top part of the ladder, and what happens when we are not
-
Why healing from narcissistic abuse does not happen only on the cognitive level, and what other things we must work on to heal completely
Our nervous system is constantly moving up and down the ladder. When we feel safe, we are at the top, and when we feel anxious, nervous, or threatened, we are at the bottom. In many cases, there is no real danger and still, we think our life is on the line. What triggers that response is usually self-worthiness wounds we drag from traumatic experiences from our childhood. We need to take a closer look at those wounds, get curious about them and find out their origin, so we can learn to heal them.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In this episode, we will talk about what I call the Disney narcissistic parents - about their behaviour when they are with the kids, the effects of that on our children, and the responses it triggers in us. We will talk about dealing with this kind of narcissistic parents, which is one of the most challenging parts of co-parenting with a narcissist.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
What is a Disney narcissistic parent and how we can identify them
-
Why it is so triggering for us to deal with this behaviour in co-parenting with a narcissist
-
Why our kids misbehave when they are with us and never when they are with the narcissistic parent
-
How The Tolerance Ladder can help us understand our kids' behaviour
Although it might be extremely challenging to co-parent with a narcissist, we must focus on teaching our kids values, showing them love, ensuring a secure connection and installing a healthy sense of self in them. The Disney narcissistic parent will flood them with expensive toys, new cell phones or video games, but none of that can compete with the kind of relationship we can offer to them based on trust, love and a deep connection.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today, we will talk about a topic that can be quite triggering. We will talk about intimacy while in a relationship with a narcissist, and we will look at lack of sexual desire from a trauma-informed perspective. To explore this topic, I’ll be fully vulnerable and share some of my own experiences with my ex-husband, and how I navigated these issues.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
How looking at intimacy with a narcissist from a trauma-informed perspective can help us better understand our reactions
-
Why we must understand there is nothing wrong with ourselves when our body rejects intimacy with our partner
-
What I learned about myself and my relationship with sex in my previous marriage
Understanding that frigidity, coldness, or lack of sexual desire are nothing else than our protector parts activating body responses to a perceived danger changes everything. Rather than thinking it is a conscious choice or something wrong with us, we must know that these reactions to sex are parts of us doing their job, which is keeping us alive.
Resources:
-
Bella Article https://publishmystory.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/bella-caroline-strawson-nf-finished.jpg
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In this episode, we will talk about the damage that narcissistic abuse provokes to our brains. Although what happens to us in abusive relationships is considered brain damage, I'll add a caveat right away and clarify that this damage can be reversed. In fact, you can start living even better than before. We will begin by understanding what happens in our minds when we are abused, what parts of the brain are triggered by the abuse, and how we can recover from it.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
What kind of brain damage narcissistic abuse produces
-
What happens when our mind goes from "online" to "offline" mode
-
How the hippocampus and the amygdala affect how we feel and how we react to abuse
-
What we can do to reverse the damage produced by narcissistic abuse
The traumatic experiences we go through in our childhood leave marks, or self-worthiness wounds as we call them. Those wounds are the reference our brain has to do its primary job of keeping us alive. Our brain will always pick what it considers the less painful option, even if that means staying in an abusive relationship. Understanding this is crucial to see that our system is trying to protect us, and for us to become curious why it considers abuse less dangerous than other options.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today, I want to talk about a subject that divides the trauma, counselling, and psychology world: the label of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). I'll share my opinion on the challenges and dangers of labelling NPD. We’ll talk about and compare three different approaches - the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the Internal Family System approach, and my own, Narcissistic Trauma Informed approach.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
Why I consider over 35 traits in order to recognise NPD and not only 9 like the DSM
-
Why labelling and medicalising NPD almost feels like excusing the narcissistic behaviour
-
Why we consider narcissistic traits as an umbrella protecting self-worthiness wounds
In many cases of narcissistic abuse, I've witnessed how the victims tend to see narcissistic abuse as a reflection of them. What happens is that when we have self-worthiness wounds from our childhood, we believe the narcissist "is right" abusing us because we see ourselves as unworthy or unlovable. That is why I love to share this knowledge, because we must know that the abuse is happening TO US, not because of us.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In this episode, we discuss narcissists in relation to addictions. We will use the Internal Family Systems approach to understand how addictions can serve as protective parts. We will also learn how addictions can distract and soothe away narcissists from suffering from their self-worthiness wounds.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
Why addictions are considered protective parts in Internal Family Systems
-
How the narcissist’s interpretation of other people's actions and reactions lead to addictive behaviours
-
How a better understanding of narcissists' addictions can help us on our trauma recovery journey
Self-worthiness wounds are created during childhood, and the interpretation of the world and other people's behaviour forms what is called an exile in Internal Family Systems. Addiction to drugs, porn, sex, or work can act as protective parts the brain uses to protect people from feeling that pain again. Between being distracted by an external stimulus or feeling miserable, the brain chooses what it considers less painful.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today, we talk about gaslighting. I'm amazed by the number of people who aren't sure what gaslighting is and don't even know they are being victims of it. To help me explain what gaslighting is and why it is a form of abuse, I'll share some situations I've experienced during my previous marriage with my ex-husband.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
What gaslighting is, and what makes it a form of abuse
-
Why, when we are being gaslighted, we doubt our sanity and our common sense
-
How my ex-husband went from potential murder to hero
-
Why we isolate ourselves when we are being gaslighted in our relationship
When someone is being abused, their friends and relatives will most likely advise them to leave that relationship. In most cases, the abused won't leave their abuser, not because they don't want to, but because they can't, because being in an abusive relationship feels safer for the victim's system than being alone. Gaslighting is a form of abuse, and we must approach its victims with compassion and empathy.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In this episode, we will analyse narcissistic abuse from the polyvagal theory perspective. We’ll use this theory, remarkably well explained by Deb Dana, to understand how our nervous system responds to abuse, and use that knowledge to lift and remove the shame and guilt attached to those reactions.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
What is the polyvagal theory, and how the ladder analogy can help us to better understand our response to abuse
-
What are the sympathetic, dorsal vagal, and ventral vagal responses of our system, and what they mean
-
How triggers affect our "position" on the trust ladder
Understanding how and why we react to abuse is the first step to acknowledging that we are not weak and powerless, and that what is happening is not our fault. We need to get curious about what our system "sees," and what it is trying to protect us from.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™
https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse -
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today's episode is directed to parents who went through abusive narcissistic relationships and who have adult children. We will talk about how triggering it can be to watch our adult child taking our place in that abusive relationship, and the best way to deal with it. I share some advice on how to talk to our children in these situations, and how to deal with the challenging circumstance of seeing our child becoming a narcissist.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
The difference between co-parenting young children and adult children with a narcissist
-
What is the best way to talk to our adult children about their narcissistic parent
-
Why our children look more aggressive with us than with the narcissistic parent
-
How to protect our relationship with our adult children
Questioning our children why they are still in touch with their narcissistic parent has the same effect as asking a victim of domestic abuse why they don't leave their partner. Their system makes them feel weaker, worthless, and even more powerless, and we must wait for our children to see things for themselves, as well as accept that perhaps they never will.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In this episode, we will have a conversation about anger. We will analyse the difference between regulated and dysregulated anger, its long-term effects, and what happens within us when we feel angry. We will also look at anger through the Internal Family System lens to understand why it scratches the scab of our worthiness wounds.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
How dysregulated anger is a sympathetic trauma response
-
Why our protective parts choose anger to deal with some issues
-
Can being stuck in anger for a long time be a natural part of a healing process?
-
The questions we must pose to our angry, protective parts
If we approach our angry, protective parts with curiosity, looking beyond the anger and trying to understand what those parts are trying to distract us from, we will look at what triggered us in a different way. We will realise that our system is trying to soothe the pain from our wounded, younger part.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™
https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse -
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today's episode is about empowerment. We will learn that the power to heal from narcissistic abuse is within ourselves. We will analyse and understand why we hand over our strength and energy to the narcissist by seeking external validation, and looking for an answer outside of us.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
The three main characteristics that make my approach to narcissistic trauma recovery different
-
Why we give our power away by looking for external validation
-
What we need to know to understand that the power to heal from narcissistic abuse is within ourselves
Although we might feel that trauma is the narcissist, it is not. Trauma is what we hold in our bodies, and what we say to ourselves about what happened. Getting curious about that will help us understand why we feel a certain way around narcissists, which could be the first step into our trauma recovery journey.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today's episode is about positive psychology and how I use it in the work I do. First, we will define what positive psychology is and talk about its origin and purpose. Then we will go through the PERMAH model, and finally, we will discuss post-traumatic growth and why we must remain curious about it.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
What positive psychology is, and where it comes from
-
What is the PERMAH model, and how it can help us increase happiness and decrease anxiety
-
Why it seems impossible to think about growth at some stages of narcissistic abuse
-
What it means to do the somatic work, and how it can help us
Focusing on the six pillars of the PERMAH model when we are coming out to heal our narcissistic trauma is the best way of levelling up our well-being. If we focus too often on the things we don't want from our past, we might get stuck in the past, and then growing will become more challenging.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In this episode, we will talk about the diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). We will analyse the nine traits determined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) to diagnose the narcissistic disorder.
We will also talk about covert narcissists, the difficulties with getting a diagnosis and how it impacts the victims of abuse, and the issues with medicalising NPD.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
What are the nine traits established by the DSM to diagnose a narcissistic personality disorder?
-
Why we say that there are much more than nine traits that we should look at
-
Why it is hard to get the NPD diagnosis, and how that affects the victim of narcissistic abuse
-
What a covert narcissist is, and why we consider them the most dangerous type of narcissists
As narcissists would rarely recognise they have a problem, getting a diagnosis becomes almost impossible. This adds pressure to their victims who are looking for help, and that is why we need to be careful when we hear that someone is a narcissist, and be ready to listen to the victims.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In today's episode, we will talk about something I get asked a lot - are narcissists born that way? We will discuss the impact of intergenerational trauma on a narcissist's development, the role of their protective parts, and the root causes of their behaviour.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
Why we say that narcissists are formed and not born
-
The connection between a narcissist's intergenerational trauma and how their protective parts show up
-
How worthiness wounds are formed
-
Why as a society, we must start looking more at the root causes than symptoms of narcissistic behaviour
When we talk about compassion, and understanding narcissistic behaviour, we are not talking about justifying their abuse. We talk about using empathy to understand the origin of their conduct, to know what triggers it, and to understand what it triggers in us, so we can build boundaries around it.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In this episode, we will discuss a controversial topic - can narcissists be cured? To answer this, we will consider two antagonising positions, those who say it is possible, those who say it can't be done, and we will also look at the middle ground. Most importantly, we will focus on the things we can change in our relationship with the narcissist.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
The issue with labeling narcissists, ignoring the root causes of their disorder, and medicalising them
-
The benefits of looking at the situation with compassion and curiosity to ourselves
-
What is a narcissist’s main goal, and what triggers their behaviour
-
How to change our focus from curing the narcissist to looking at our reactions
Although it might sound shocking to hear, a narcissist's primary goal is not to be abusive. Their main purpose is to protect their self-worthiness wounds, so they project their protector parts on their abuse victims. As they won't see or accept this, and they justify their actions, we can’t help them, but we can focus on how we respond to their behaviour, and how we let it affect us.
Resources:
-
Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
Interview with Professor Sam Vaknin, Author of Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited
Part 1: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/037-interview-professor-sam-vaknin-author-malignant/id1527479270?i=1000514048886
Part 2: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/038-part-2-interview-professor-sam-vaknin-author-malignant/id1527479270?i=1000514982380
Part 3: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/039-part-3-interview-professor-sam-vaknin-author-malignant/id1527479270?i=1000515945205
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today, we will talk about the magnetic relationship between narcissists and codependents. We will dive deep into their origins, why they attract each other, and why they seem like a match made in heaven - or more accurately, made in hell.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
Why certain people only attract narcissists to their love life
-
The role of the worthiness wounds in codependents' and in narcissists' behaviours
-
How codependents can heal their emotional core wounds, and prevent themselves from attracting narcissists
Once a codependent identifies the core wound that triggers their protector parts to make them constantly give so they feel worthy or lovable, the chances are huge that they prevent those protector parts from acting on their behalf. With narcissists, on the other hand, this is almost impossible, since they'll never look at their worthiness wounds.
Resources:
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In this episode, we will talk about what happens when the narcissist knows you figured everything out, and what we can expect when they show their true colors. I will share a bit of my story with my ex-husband, and what happened when I confirmed my suspicions about him, and I let him know that I knew everything I needed to know.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
How narcissists diminish the pain of feeling worthless
-
The three ways of ending a relationship with a narcissist
-
Why I stayed for years in my abusive marriage
-
What happened when I told my ex-husband I had everything figured out about him
Although narcissists appear to be confident and secure, they are precisely the opposite. When we let them know we are aware of their game, we become a shining spotlight on their worthiness wounds. They have two options, to look themselves in the mirror acknowledging the damage they've done, or smear and try to diminish us. Unfortunately, they tend to choose the latter option.
Resources Mentioned:
-
Book: Caroline Strawson - Divorce Became My Superpower: A Story Of Narcissistic Abuse Recovery, Gaining Perspective, Power & Positivity: https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Became-Superpower-Narcissistic-Perspective-ebook/dp/B07H6GF4FV/
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today, we celebrate our 50th episode together, and we will talk about why I've decided to rebrand. I’ll share with you my true purpose, why I've decided to start focusing on post-traumatic growth, and how we can reclaim our power.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-What can we do to take back the power we gave to the narcissist
-Why focusing on post-traumatic growth rather than abuse changes the whole spectrum of our recovery
- What are the worthiness wounds, and what is their role in our response to abuse
Once we change how we feel about ourselves, we will change how we respond to narcissistic abuse. When we learn to identify the parts of us that the abuse is triggering, we can control our reactions. We can prevent our protective parts from starting the alarm of danger and falling into the I'm-not-good-enough spiral.
Resources:
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today, we will talk about the grief after narcissistic abuse, and the feeling of loss we experience after losing our parent-child connection, our home, or the family we envisioned having. We will discuss every stage we go through after the divorce, and how each one leads to the other. I'll share what I experienced after my divorce, and what I did to change how I responded to my ex-husband after the separation.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
Why we grieve after separating from a narcissist
-
The stages we go through after a separation
-
How we can find peace after accepting what we have been through
-
What to do when we feel a sense of loss deep in our bones
When we think about healing from narcissistic abuse, it's not only about changing our thoughts. It is also about changing our body, about finding a sense of integration, and understanding that what happened, happened to us and not because of us, and that now we are safe.
Resources:
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In this episode, we will talk about the difference between narcissistic abuse and narcissistic trauma. We will analyse and understand the origin of the trauma produced by narcissistic abuse, why narcissistic behaviour triggers memories of past events in our lives, and how we can reclaim our power.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
Why we choose to stay in abusive relationships
-
The differences between narcissistic abuse and narcissistic trauma
-
The role of our interpretation of past events during our childhood in how we feel today
-
How separating abuse from trauma can help us take our power back
When we are abused by a narcissist, our response to abuse is related to our childhood wounds, and it is crucial that we work on healing them. Once we recover our younger self, even though we can't change a narcissist, we can change our interpretation of their behaviour.
Resources:
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
In today's episode, we will discuss what happens when we end a relationship with a narcissist. We will analyse why the abuse continues after the end of the relationship, and why narcissists smear our reputation when we are the ones who decide to separate or divorce. I'll share some of my own experiences, and how I learned to stop judging myself and others in narcissistic abusive relationships.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
Why narcissists feel their wounded parts triggered when we decide to end the relationship
-
What makes a narcissist want to end a relationship
-
Why our narcissistic ex-spouse looks like a different person after we separate from them
-
Why narcissists tend to rewrite the story of what happened and then try to smear our reputation
Instead of judging ourselves for staying in an abusive relationship, we can take this awakening as an opportunity to know ourselves better. We need to be curious about why we feel the way we do, and identify the younger wounded parts we were trying to protect by accepting being in a relationship with a narcissist.
Resources:
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
This week we will answer a question that many people ask themselves after an abusive relationship - can a narcissist change their spots? We will dive deep into why those abused start doubting themselves, and understand why our narcissistic ex-partners seem happy and fulfilled in their new relationship.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
Why we start doubting ourselves after breaking up with the narcissist
-
How a narcissist's protective parts trigger a codependent's protective parts
-
The two things to consider when a narcissist enters a new relationship
-
What we can and what we cannot change about what happened to us in the past
Healing from narcissistic trauma doesn't happen instantly. It's about realising that the narcissist highlighted our core wounds and protective parts. The best thing we can do is stop looking at the narcissist and their new relationship, focus that lens on ourselves, take back our power, and do what we need to do to live our best life.
Resources:
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
-
My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Today I'm joined by the extraordinary Danette May, America’s leading healthy lifestyle expert, #1 best-selling author of “The Rise,” and 7 health and fitness books and programs. She is a co-founder and CCO of Mindful Health, LLC (#48 on the Inc. 5000 List), dedicated founder of The Rise movement, world-renowned motivational speaker, wife, and mother.
Danette's rise began after losing her son during childbirth, getting divorced, and finding herself with $47 to her name. It was then that she decided to stop being a victim and rewrite her story.
She began to focus on the three pillars of healing: healing foods, healing movement, and a healing mindset. These three pillars form the foundation of every product or program she's created since then.
In this episode, Danette charts how she was able to pull herself back from rock bottom to have POST TRAUMATIC GROWTH in all areas of her life.
Danette would also offer anyone who pre-orders her book access to a Free Live Virtual Relationship Coaching Event (worth $597). As a VIP coach, she leads healing retreats, and helps high level execs change their mindset, learn to manifest, and call in intimate relationships, attracting their Soul’s Contract Connection. Pre-orders of the new book "Embrace Abundance" can get a FREE TICKET to a live event by going here: http://embraceabundancebook.com
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
What it meant for Danette to fail to tune into her intuition
-
The importance of taking responsibility for our life choices
-
Why forgiveness is so liberating
-
The three pillars of healing, and why it’s essential to focus on each of them
-
The importance of the words that we say to ourselves
When we forgive those who hurt us, we unplug them from our energetic field. Either if they say or do something to us, or if we remember what they did to us in the past, we won't be affected. Only after we unplug ourselves from the people who hurt us, we can rise up and be who we want to be, without being pulled down by past memories.
Resources:
-
Visit Danette May's website: https://danettemay.com/
-
Pre-order Danette’s new book “Embrace Abundance” http://embraceabundancebook.com
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
Today I’m sharing with you a fantastic conversation with Ross Rosenberg.
Ross Rosenberg M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, is the owner of Self-Love Recovery Institute. He is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness and author. Ross is known globally for his expertise in codependency (Self-Love Deficit Disorder), Pathological Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse and Trauma Treatment. He is a keynote speaker who has presented in 30 States/70 cities and abroad and has been regularly featured on national TV and radio. His “The Human Magnet Syndrome” books sold over 120K copies and are translated into 10 languages. His YouTube Channel has amassed 19 million video views and more than 200K subscribers.
In this episode, Ross shared brilliant insights about responsibility, codependency, children moulded by narcissistic parents, and core shame. We talked about his definition of codependency, and how it was a game changer for so many people after finding an explanation that made sense for them.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
The victim's connection with responsibility and the band-aid therapy
-
Ross' journey of dealing with narcissists in his life, and how he managed to overcome his challenges
-
How many types of codependents there are according to Ross, and the difference between them
-
What is the human magnet syndrome
-
What is a relationship template, how it is created, and how it works
Ross’s definition of codependency is revolutionary, because it offers a simple explanation of the condition. After we have an answer, we can make a choice to address the problem and neutralize its cause.
Connect with Ross Rosenberg:
-
Self-Love Recovery Institute https://www.selfloverecovery.com/
-
Find Ross on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/rossarosenberg/
-
Find Ross on Twitter https://twitter.com/rossrosenberg1/
-
Find Ross on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rossrosenberg_slri/
-
Visit Ross’s YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/clinicalcareconsult
Resources:
-
Book: Ross Rosenberg - The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap: Surviving Narcissistic Abuse https://www.amazon.com/Human-Magnet-Syndrome-Codependent-Narcissist-ebook/dp/B07D99945P/
-
Book: Alice Miller - The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self https://www.amazon.com/Drama-Gifted-Child-Search-Third-ebook/dp/B06XCG9MKN/
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
Today, we will talk about why we feel WE need to change after all the abuse received from the narcissist in our lives. To help us see this issue from a different lens, we use the Internal Family System perspective, and we will understand why we feel that way.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
What is the reason behind our protective parts making us feel angry or frustrated
-
The consequence of blending with our protective parts
-
The questions we need to ask ourselves when we start feeling angry and frustrated
When we feel we need to change our behaviour around the narcissist, or change how we react to their abuse, a sense of injustice invades us. The truth is we don't need to change; we only need to ask ourselves and understand why our protective parts are coming to rescue us. Ideally, we should see a narcissist as a spotlight warning us against being triggered and confusing our protective parts with our true self.
Resources:
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
In this episode, we will dive deeper into a question that I get asked a lot - am I turning into a narcissist? We will talk about why we start to notice some narcissistic behaviours in ourselves after going through an abusive relationship with a narcissist.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
Why those victimised by a narcissist start exhibiting narcissistic behaviour
-
What the mirror neurons are, and their role in our behaviour
-
Why narcissists won't start mirroring codependency
-
How looking from a trauma-informed lens can help us understand our own narcissistic traits
No narcissist will ever question their narcissistic behaviour, they will blame others for their actions. The best thing we can do when we detect narcissistic behaviour in ourselves is to step back, and look at it from a place of curiosity, compassion, courage, and clarity. If we are genuinely asking ourselves - am I a narcissist? - we most certainly are not.
Resources:
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
In today's episode, we will talk about narcissists and empathy. We will go through the three types of empathy and explain which area of the brain is responsible for each of them, so we can understand better why, according to the DSM, narcissists lack empathy.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
The three types of empathy - cognitive, emotional, and compassionate
-
The three main areas of the brain that are associated with each type of empathy
-
What kind of empathy narcissists are able to demonstrate
-
Why and when narcissists are showing some kind of empathy
-
What happens to us when we are offered no empathy
When we understand the origin and the difference between the three types of empathy, it becomes easier to understand why sometimes it may look like the narcissist in our lives is showing kindness or compassion. For them, it is all about getting narcissistic supply, and they'll put themselves in a situation where they can get more of it.
Resources:
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
In this episode, we will talk about the shame and judgment that those who stay in a narcissist relationship suffer from others and from themselves. We will dive deep into the reasons behind the decision to stay in an abusive relationship, and how to be more compassionate towards those who make such decisions.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
How our protective parts don't know what happiness is
-
What happens when we hear the phrase ‘Just leave then’
-
Safety concerns in case of leaving a narcissistic relationships
-
How we can help people who decide to stay in abusive relationships
-
The importance of bringing awareness into your internal protective mechanisms
Someone that comes from a place of not feeling worthy is more likely to end up as a codependent in an abusive relationship. In most cases, the fear of leaving that relationship will be greater than their suffering, so they'll choose to stay. Without help, those people can enter the endless cycle of not feeling good enough to leave and, simultaneously, not worthy enough to generate love in their partners.
Resources:
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
The third and final interview segment with Sam Vaknin is perhaps the most triggering, as we discuss the concepts of victim, victimhood, and being victimized by a narcissist. We also analyze Sam's view on victimization and victimhood as new social trends and part of the tribalism we live in nowadays.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
What happened to us is not what we are
-
Why people idolize, perpetuate, and glamorise being a victim
-
The danger of the self-styled empaths
-
How to love yourself, trust your gut, and not abuse your abuser
When we grow up hearing things like we are not good enough or our parents find us helpful only as victims, then our self-esteem is low and we understand there is no other way than victimhood to get favourable outcomes from our environment. However, in order to heal, we must allow ourselves to be loved for who we are, and not for what happened to us.
Resources:
-
Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin
-
Connect with Professor Sam Vaknin on LinkedIn, Instagram, and YouTube
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
This is part two of the fantastic interview with Professor Sam Vaknin. In this episode we talk about narcissistic abuse from a social perspective, and how we, as society members, deal with abusers and victims. We dive deep into the danger of labelling people, and discuss the idea of fluidity between the roles of victims and abusers.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
The counterproductive tendency of isolating trait behaviours, labelling and medicalising
-
Regarding narcissism as a positive adaptation that has helped a child to survive
-
Are we all a part of a colossal victim community?
-
The differences in a relationship between narcissists and healthy people, and narcissists and codependents
-
How the confirmation bias and the saviour mentality affects the victims of narcissist abuse
Accepting that many victims are never likely to abandon their abusers, Doctor Vaknin believes that people should be educated on self-defence, on how to create boundaries and react to abusive situations. Both the victim and abuser share the same source - they are children with wounded inner parts, utilising their survival tools.
Resources:
-
Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence--From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror by Judith Lewis Herman
-
Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin
-
Connect with Professor Sam Vaknin on LinkedIn, Instagram, and YouTube
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
This episode is the first part of an enlightening interview with Sam Vaknin, Professor of Psychology & Finances at the Southern University of Rostov-on-Don, Russia, PhD in Philosophy and Physics, and author of the book "Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited."
In this first of a three-episode series, we talked about why the narcissistic abuse experience is different from other abusive relationships, and why each narcissistic abuse story is unique.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
How it was connecting with narcissistic abuse victims before the internet era
-
The uniqueness of the narcissistic abuse experience
-
How narcissists live inside their mind
-
Why making demands or having expectations threatens a narcissist’s equilibrium
-
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) vs. the Psychodynamic Diagnostic Manual (PDM)
When Professor Vaknin started working with narcissistic abuse trauma back in 1995, there was no terminology, no words to describe it. One of his first jobs was to coin terms like narcissistic supply, somatic narcissist, cerebral narcissist, and narcissistic abuse itself. He has been studying the subject passionately for over 26 years, helping thousands of people to recover from their trauma.
Resources:
-
Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin
-
Connect with Professor Sam Vaknin on LinkedIn, Instagram, and YouTube
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
Today, I want to talk about what happens after we break up with a narcissist, what we should expect from them, and how to prevent being affected by what they can do or say to us and our closest friends.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- Safety is your number one priority
- What to do when our reputation is being shredded by the narcissist
- The narcissist and their army of flying monkeys
- What drives narcissists to take action
- Why falling into a love bombing trap is easier than it looks
- Our goal is not trying to change or fix the narcissist
Breaking up a relationship with a narcissist might lead us to a lonely place if they turn our friends and relatives against us. We must create a robust ecosystem around us, and surround ourselves by the people who believe in us. We need to keep in mind that we are enough, and that we are worthy and lovable regardless of what the narcissist could have said to us or to anyone else about us.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
This week we are talking about relationships after narcissistic abuse. But to talk about future relationships, we need to look at our past and what we learned about love when we were children.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- The three parts of our brain and what their roles are
- Where the belief that the world is a dangerous place comes from
- How to use the knowledge about how our mind works in order to empower ourselves
- The prominent role of attachment in our perception of what love is
- The connections between how we felt as children, and how we feel around the narcissist as adults
- How YOU can break the cycle of narcissistic abuse
To ensure a healthy and lasting new relationship, we need to do some inner work, identify our blueprint of what love and connection are, and work on it. If we don't address it, we are at risk of repeating this inter-generational trauma, and possibly passing it onto the next generations.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
In today's episode, we will talk about future generations and narcissism. We will explore and analyze kids' trauma responses to being with a narcissist and the best ways to help them deal with it.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- The importance of breaking the trauma cycle and teaching self-love to our kids
- Parallel parenting as the best choice for co-parenting with a narcissist
- The fourth trauma response to narcissistic abuse
- Why our kids choose to misbehave with us
- The best response we can offer to our angry children
When our kids come back to us aggressive or angry, we must see them through the trauma-informed lens. We need to understand them, show them love and compassion, be supportive and make them feel that we see them and hear them. Our kids misbehave with us because we are their anchor. We must be aware of that and build our relationship with them from that place.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
This episode is about the controversy around the diagnosis of a narcissist and its medicalisation. Should narcissists be medicalised? And if they should, how does it affect those who've been involved with a narcissist?
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- The problem with medicalisation of a certain problem
- Why Complex PTSD doesn't go away with a sense of retribution
- The beauty of hindsight in the context of a relationship with a narcissist
- Why moving forward knowing the narcissist won't change is a powerful step
- How narcissism has a lot more traits than the 9 from the DSM
As a society, we are conditioned to look at the symptoms and there is not much space for considering the root cause. That's what is happening with narcissists as well. The root cause gets overlooked, and the abuse suffered by the narcissist's victims remains unacknowledged. But the solution might lie in looking at narcissists through the trauma lens.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
One of the narcissist types that is hardest to identify is the covert narcissist. Today we will go through a covert narcissist's behavioural traits, the ways they get their narcissistic supply, how that makes us feel, and how to deal with that behaviour.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- What happens when a narcissist agrees to go to therapy
- Why covert narcissists are so hard to identify
- How they act like they are the victim
- The spiral effect of nobody believing our story
- How to bring the power back to yourself
- Why you should stop worrying about what other people say
When we think about a narcissist, the first image that comes to mind is an arrogant, entitled and overly confident individual. But a covert narcissist is quite the opposite, they will portray themselves as a victim who suffers constant abuse. We need to be aware that they can turn people who know us against us, and be ready to deal with that.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
This week I want to talk about co-parenting with a narcissist in COVID times. We'll talk about what happens when the pandemic is used as an excuse for not giving the kids back, or sending them over. We will also go through the best way to communicate with a narcissist in conflict situations, and what parallel parenting is.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- The difficulties of co-parenting with a narcissist
- What it means to parallel parent
- The importance of self-care and why it is NOT selfish
- Why you need to register, document and not get dragged into an argument
- How to set up up a grounding station at home
We need to pay special attention to the pandemic restrictions used as control methods by the narcissist in our lives. If that is the case, our kids' happiness is essential to look at before we decide to act.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
This week I want to talk to you about judgement from the Internal Family Systems and parts therapy perspective. We’ll go over what judgement really is and what questions you can ask yourself to get to the root of judgement both towards yourself and towards other people, including the narcissist.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- How to look at judgement as one of the parts in our system
- The protective role of judgement
- The wounded younger parts hiding under someone’s judgemental behaviour
- Three questions to ask yourself when you recognise judgement in yourself
- How to approach judgement with compassion and curiosity
It is definitely not pleasant to be on the receiving end of somebody else’s judgment, but I’m also inviting you to check in with yourself. How much are you judging other people? Because that's just a protector part showing up to protect you from your wounded younger parts.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
This week we talk about the possibility of curing a narcissist, and what we can do to make our situation better. Is it possible at all to get beyond their protector parts, and heal that wounded inner child that is responsible for their narcissistic behaviour?
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
What the real chances are of curing a narcissist
-
How a covert narcissist turns things around and gaslights us
-
The lack of ownership and of sense of responsibility in narcissists
-
The difficulty of helping someone who thinks they don’t need help
-
How to be compassionate towards the narcissist and still keep them accountable for their behaviour
As narcissists are a product of a childhood trauma, it is okay to be compassionate and empathetic. We need to accept that it is impossible to help someone who doesn't acknowledge they need help.
Resources:
-
Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
Today we talk about a pivotal moment in our relationship with a narcissist - what happens when they know we know? What is their reaction when we let them know we know who and what they are? Is it a good idea to let them know that? Let's find out.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- The similarity between starting point of narcissists and codependents
- How to release the legacy burden that we’ve got from our parents
- What happens when the protector parts cover the narcissist's true self
- The effects of highlighting a narcissist's inner wounds
When we confront a narcissist with the truth about who they are, we force them to face their younger wounded parts. That makes their system go into overdrive, and their protector parts become an army pointing all their guns at us. We must ignore that and focus on our recovery and healing OUR wounded parts.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
The question I get asked lots of times is - why does the narcissist do this to me? What have I ever done? I'm a nice person. I'm gonna get real with you in this episode and explain this in two parts. Let’s dive in.
What You Will Learn in This Episode:
- How we create false reasons for why the narcissist treats us the way they do
- The triangle in Internal Family Systems - True Self, Exile, Protector
- How Exile and Protector parts show up in both narcissist and yourself
- How you become a magnet for a narcissist
- How you can flip the question and ask yourself why you are allowing a narcissist to do that to you
Your power is not trying to change a narcissist, but recognise what it is about you that makes you feel the way that you do and attract people like that into your life. Because when you change that, you change everything.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
Today we talk about the three stages of our healing process when we are divorcing a narcissist. We go through our priorities in stage one, sorting out the legalities while starting to heal in stage two, and recognising that healing is a lifelong journey in stage three.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- Safety is the first priority when divorcing a narcissist
- The triangle of divorcing - legalities, finances, and children
- How to be gentle with ourselves when we start our healing process
- The pitfalls of thinking of healing as a destination
- Understanding post-traumatic growth and how it affects us
Divorcing a narcissist is tough, especially if you have children. However, if we focus on our safety, on our healing process, and avoid re-traumatising our mind, we can go through it. What we need to do is not beat ourselves up, and create a healthy ecosystem around us to help us heal.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
Today I talk about cheating narcissists, the reasons behind cheating, and what it is that narcissists pursue by doing it. We also cover narcissists' strong protective parts, how codependents in a relationship trigger cheating behaviours, and the difference between healthy and narcissistic abusive relationships.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- The reasons behind your partner’s cheating
- The role of self-soothing in cheating behaviours
- What happens when two wounded younger parts meet in a relationship
- How cheating can satisfy the need for narcissistic supply
- Why we need to be mindful and empathetic with those who choose to stay in a cheating relationship
When we are cheated on, we tend to think it is our fault, that we are not good enough, not worthy. But when a narcissistic partner cheats on us, it’s not about us, but about their wounded younger parts, and their need to feel that sense of grandiosity.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
Today we’re talking about anxiety and depression, not as mere symptoms that need to be treated, but as parts of us showing up for a certain reason. Let’s ask ourselves - why are we anxious, why are we depressed, why are those parts showing up?
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- Looking at anxiety and depression as trauma responses within our body
- Deb Dana's ladder analogy in the context of narcissistic relationships
- The role of anxiety as the sympathetic trauma response
- The role of depression in our system state
- How to look at anxiety and depression as parts of ourselves and not identify with them
- The reason why people stay in abusive relationships
- How to understand the intentions of all our parts and welcome them to our system
Once we see anxiety and depression as parts of us reacting to trauma, we will realise that we are not a depressed or anxious individual, but we have parts that are showing up in order to distract us and soothe us from feeling the pain of our younger, wounded part.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
Today I want to talk about two words that may conjure up very different concepts to you, and they are narcissism and confidence. We go over what narcissism is, what true confidence is, and how to tell a difference.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- The difference between narcissistic traits and narcissistic personality disorder
- The difficulties with diagnosing someone as a narcissist
- Why we need to be careful when we use the word narcissist
- Why we perceive narcissists as being confident and what lies beneath that confidence
- Internal Family Systems and using Parts theory to understand narcissism
- How to recognise truly confident persons
Because we can’t change narcissists, let’s get back to trying to live as much as possible as your true authentic self, as someone who is curious, calm, connected, courageous, creative, confident, compassionate, and lives with clarity. How much of your life are you living like that?
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
Today we talk about the little signs and the red flags that we must be aware of when we start dating someone new. Even after a traumatic separation, at some point we need to start meeting new people, but we must have ears and eyes open to the signs of narcissistic behavior, so we know what to do if they keep happening.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- How we can step out into the dating world after a traumatic experience
- What is "love bombing" and how to detect it
- A key red flag - the narcissist’s lack of empathy
- Gaslighting as the real hallmark of narcissism
- The "I'm not apologizing" story and why narcissists believe they’re never wrong
- The importance of having a positive relationship with yourself
The dating world after a divorce or a breakup can be terrifying. But it's important to remember that being with someone is not always better than being single. So if we decide to take a new chance, we must have our narcissistic radar on point to avoid falling into that trap.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
In this episode I’m talking about the addiction to the narcissist in your life, how to deal with it, and the first steps to overcome it. Remember that every addiction serves to stop us from feeling the pain of our wounded younger part, and today we are going to unpack that mechanism.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- Recognizing the difference between knowing you are good enough and feeling like you are not
- How our body gets addicted to not feeling good enough
- How our brain reacts to our biggest perceived pain
- The importance of no contact or extremely modified contact with the narcissist in your life
- Why our brain always reverts to what is familiar even when it’s painful
In a relationship with a narcissistic person, we are continually trying to prove that we are good enough, and our body gets used to that sensation. Not feeling good enough then becomes familiar, and our brain perceives what's familiar as what's safe, thus ignores the pain we are feeling and perpetuates that cycle.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
Do narcissists deliberately try to hurt you? What is their driving force?
Even when they say or do horrible things to us, the narcissist’s intention is purely about themselves. What they pursue is the narcissistic drug of choice, what we call the narcissistic supply. That is the only thing they are after.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
-
Narcissistic abuse happens TO you. It doesn’t happen BECAUSE of you.
-
Why your pain is just the byproduct of the narcissist’s behavior
-
Where the narcissist’s need for mistreating you really comes from
-
Narcissistic aggression and manipulation as the expression of their younger, wounded part
-
How to recognise when the narcissist is pretending to behave in a certain way to achieve what they want
When narcissists hurt us, they want to heal their wounds at our expense. It has nothing to do with our integrity or our values. So remember that it is YOU who is holding the power to heal, and change the perception of your own childhood experiences.
Resources:
-
Join my Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
-
Connect with me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
In this week’s episode, I want to talk about what exactly a narcissist is, and what tool is used to identify narcissistic personality disorder. We tend to wrongly label narcissists as those who take lots of selfies or those who are rude to us, and by doing that, we are not helping the real victims of narcissistic abuse. What You Will Learn In This Episode: •The difference between being a narcissist and being obnoxious •How being a victim of Narcissistic Personality Disorder affected me •Are narcissistic personalities born or created? •The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) nine traits to detect Narcissistic Personality Disorder •The importance of educating the society regarding NPD and helping its victims If someone you know ticks the boxes of at least five of the nine traits described by the DSM, the person has NPD. This method might help you get some reassurance of what you are dealing with and that it is not your fault. Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
Today I want to share with you the five key phrases that are great to disarm the narcissist. These phrases really helped me and my clients to understand that the power is within us to heal from narcissistic abuse.
Five Key Phrases to Disarm the Narcissist:
- I'm so sorry you feel like that.
- I can accept your faulty perception of me.
- I have no right to control how you see me.
- I accept that this is how you feel.
- Your anger is not my responsibility.
Keep me posted if you're using any of these five phrases to disarm the narcissist. I would love to hear what their expressions were like, what they said back to you. Even if you don't feel these right now, remember that it's all about dis-confirming those experiences, but we have to start somewhere. So give these phrases a try.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
In this episode, I want to talk about the different parts of you, that may be stopping you from healing from narcissistic abuse.
In working with my clients, I use an evidence based parts therapy called Internal Family Systems, and I’m going to explain what it is and how it can help you heal.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- Internal Family Systems and the concept of True Self
- Two main types of Protector parts - Manager and Firefighter
- How physical conditions can play their parts
- How we can change the roles of the parts to start healing from narcissistic abuse
- How you can create a map of your parts to become aware of them
- What is reconsolidation of memory
Working with parts as I explained them here can help you update that younger part of you, so the roles of the Protector parts won't need to be so reactive, proactive or destructive, and you can start healing from narcissistic abuse.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
We rarely talk about the illness and disease that come from being in a narcissistic relationship. Today I want to talk about the physical effects of the trauma of narcissistic abuse, about why that might happen, and I want to potentially give you some hope.
What you will learn in this episode:
- How our bodies respond to stress.
- Why our bodies remain in constant trauma when being in a relationship with a narcissistic.
- The different areas of our brains and how they work in triggering situations.
- The burdens and beliefs we carry that makes us a magnet to narcissistic people.
- How talking therapy and brain body based therapy can help you.
A lot of the physical conditions that you have might be your body’s response to stress and trauma. I want you to get to know your body, your history, your timeline of events, and see if there's actually a root cause to whatever physical stress related illness you have.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
Many times people are saying to me ‘Caroline, I just struggle getting out of bed in the morning, and I know I should be doing x, y, and z but I just haven't got any energy, and I feel weak and ashamed.’ In this episode, I want to help you try and lift some of that guilt and shame off yourself.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- How our body and our nervous system works
- The Polyvagal Theory and the ladder analogy
- The roles of the ventral vagus and dorsal vagus
- Freeze trauma response and the root of your overwhelming fatigue
- How limbic system therapies like Brainspotting or EMDR can help you
So if you're feeling tired all the time, really take a look. Is that a trauma response? Because if you're healing from narcissistic abuse, know that it's not you being lazy or weak. It's just your normal natural nervous system response, it’s your body trying to protect you.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- The Polyvagal Theory by Stephen Porges https://www.amazon.com/Polyvagal-Theory-Neurophysiological-Communication-Self-regulation/dp/0393707008/
- The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy by Deb A. Dana https://www.amazon.com/Polyvagal-Theory-Therapy-Interpersonal-Neurobiology/dp/0393712370/
In this episode, I want to talk to you about the 4 trauma responses when we talk about narcissistic abuse. Many of you have heard about fight, flight and freeze, but there's also a fourth one that’s lesser known - fawn or appease. So let’s go through each of these four, and see if you can resonate with any of them.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- What happens in our brain when we perceive danger
- What is fight response and what is behind the anger you feel
- Flight response and how it connects with anxiety
- Freeze response, depression and survival mode
- Fawn or Appease response and why it is typical for narcissistic abuse
Can you recognize those trauma responses in your behavior? Which ones were you in the most? Were you like me? Let me know!
Resources:
- 001 Why Narcissistic Abuse is Trauma https://www.carolinestrawson.com/001-why-narcissistic-abuse-is-trauma/
- Join my Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
I get so many messages every day from people all over the world asking - Am I A Narcissist? The first answer I always say back to them is no, you're not a narcissist because no narcissist would ever ask themselves such a question.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- Why narcissists will never describe themselves as narcissists
- How your doubts reveal your being abused
- The psychological changes that happen in your brain due to narcissistic abuse
- Why you feel like you can’t get out of a narcissistic relationship
- In what cases narcissists will seemingly admit their abusive behaviour
If you are feeling upset right now wondering if You are the narcissist, please let me tell you you are definitely not. But it is good to have awareness that the reason you're thinking that is because you've been the victim of narcissistic abuse, and what you need to do now is get intentional about your healing.
Resources:
- 010 Why Talk Therapy Alone Can't Heal Narcissistic Abuse https://www.carolinestrawson.com/010-why-talk-therapy-alone-cant-heal-narcissistic-abuse/
- 003 What is Complex PTSD https://www.carolinestrawson.com/003-what-is-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder/
- Join my Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
Today I want to talk to you about a term that you may have seen associated with narcissistic abuse.. This is Grey Rocking, and I’m going to explain how to be a Grey Rock around the narcissist.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- What Grey Rock means in the communication with a narcissist
- Why it is necessary to adopt this behavior
- How to avoid being activated by what the narcissist says
- Practical tools to modify your communication with the narcissist
- What reaction to Grey Rocking you can expect from them
I want you to give it a go now and be the Grey Rock to the narcissist. It gives you a sense of control, and being like that doesn't mean you're giving in. What it means is yourself taking your power back, so you can recognise that you deserve to heal, to survive, and you deserve 100% to thrive after the trauma of narcissistic abuse.
Resources:
- The Trauma Bond & Addiction to the Narcissist https://www.carolinestrawson.com/011-the-trauma-bond-addiction-to-the-narcissist/
- Join my Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
I get messaged many times about the fact that people just can't break that addiction to the narcissist even if they know that it isn't the right thing for them to keep on messaging or emailing the narcissist in their life. We actually call this a trauma bond, and in this episode I explain exactly what it is.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- What is Stockholm Syndrome and how it relates to the trauma bond
- What behaviour of the narcissist forms the trauma bond
- What neuropeptides are and the brain chemistry side of the trauma bond
- How to start creating the safe space for you to start healing
- Why it is absolutely necessary to block or extremely modify communication with the narcissist in your life
Remember where you are right now with creating those neuropeptides, because that’s what we are addicted to. In order to break the addiction to the narcissist, we've got to calm that nervous system, so that we can create a space for you to start to heal the trauma of narcissistic abuse.
Resources:
- 010 Why Talk Therapy Alone Can't Heal Nracissistc Abuse https://www.carolinestrawson.com/010-why-talk-therapy-alone-cant-heal-narcissistic-abuse/
- 003 What is Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder https://www.carolinestrawson.com/003-what-is-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder/
- Join my Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
While talking therapy does have a place in the recovery process, in this episode I'm going to explain to you exactly why talk therapy alone can't heal narcissistic abuse.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- Complex PTSD and why it so difficult to heal
- The benefits and limits of talk therapy like CBT and DBT
- Why you need a therapist who has been through the trauma of narcissistic abuse
- Why talk therapy can access only 10% of your brain and what to do with the rest
- How talk therapy can sometimes actually make you feel worse
- How EMDR and Brainspotting therapies work
Wherever you are on your healing journey, please make sure that you are getting the right treatment for you. Look for a therapist who has been through what you have been through, and who is using brain-body based somatic psychotherapies, so they can help you shift in the part of the brain where the trauma is stuck, because if you don't do that, you could be in talk therapy for years.
Resources:
- Episode 003 What is Complex PTSD https://www.carolinestrawson.com/003-what-is-complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder/
- Join my Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
Gaslighting is a very insidious form of psychological abuse. It leaves the victims feeling insane, thinking they are the crazy ones. In this episode I’m going to tell you some stories about gaslighting, so you can recognise it when you see it or experience it.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- Why narcissists will never question themselves
- The examples of gaslighting
- How continuous gaslighting changes your brain physiologically
- Why you need to learn to believe your gut
- Being angry with yourself as a sign of healing
I'd love to hear if you've got any stories of gaslighting. Are they as wild as wacky as mine?
Resources:
- Divorce Became My Superpower by Caroline Strawson https://www.amazon.co.uk/Divorce-Became-Superpower-Caroline-Strawson/dp/1726255549/
- https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
Today I’m talking about the family dynamics of narcissistic abuse, and the different roles that occur within a family. In particular, I want to talk about the scapegoat within the family when you have a narcissistic parent.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- What is a scapegoat?
- Why narcissistic mothers are particularly harmful to a child
- The examples of scapegoating within a family
- How scapegoating affects a child’s beliefs about themselves
- Why narcissistic personality disorder cannot be cured
- How you can heal your children by healing your own codependency
I'm a big believer that when you heal yourself you heal the next generation. So just because your children have a parent that is a narcissist does not mean that they will be a codependent or a narcissist. You can break the cycle of scapegoating, you can heal, and the reason I know that is because that's exactly what I did.
Resources:
- https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
It's not a coincidence that you end up in a relationship with a narcissist. There are always patterns to this type of behaviour. So where does it all start? That’s what we are looking at today.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- How unhealed inner child wounds manifest in our adult life
- Why it is wrong to leave babies to cry and fall asleep by themselves
- How our brain actually keeps us safe by keeping us stuck in the trauma response
- Where our inner feeling that the world is unsafe comes from
- How to heal and upgrade our inner operative system
What we have to look at here is deep inner child healing. When we heal and upgrade that inner child into your world today, we get a level of understanding, and when we heal that inner wound, we can change everything.
Resources:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
In today's episode I want to talk about codependency and the narcissist, because a codependent is literally a magnet to a narcissist. We will go over what codependency is, and the mechanism behind the codependent-narcissist mutual attraction.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- What is exactly codependency?
- The roots of the lack of self-love and self-worth in childhood
- The similarities and differences between a narcissist and a codependent
- How we end up in the vicious circle of a narcissist-codependent relationship
- Why it’s easier to heal codependency than narcissism
- How to start with healing your codependency
When you put expectations on other people to behave in a certain way for you to feel good enough, you're putting your happiness in someone else's hands. You need to take responsibility to go within and heal your wounds first. And when you heal your own codependency, you change everything because you stop looking externally to get your sense of self worth.
Resources:
- Healing Codependency: Self Hate To Self Love Course: https://t4s.site/copy-of-template---quick-flip-funnel-3/healingcodependency-1/
- https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
The question is - can you ever survive narcissistic abuse? Right now you might be feeling like you are in a long dark tunnel, feeling angry, guilty, shameful and having no energy to get out of it. But I’m passionate about helping you and educating you on how to start overcoming this trauma.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- How to tackle the feeling of overwhelm by narcissistic abuse
- Introduction to our parasympathetic nervous system
- How our childhood wounds condition our nervous system
- The value of body-based therapy for processing childhood trauma
- Being in the present moment as the key for changing your trauma response
So the short answer to whether you can survive narcissistic abuse is yes, absolutely. And I don't just want you to survive, I want you to thrive and help you find meaning in what you have been through.
Resources:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
So you found yourself married to a narcissist, and you are thinking about leaving. Or maybe you have already started the process of divorcing a narcissist, and you realise that it is only just beginning. In this episode we are covering steps and resources that can help you go through this difficult process.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- Why divorcing a narcissist is not like other divorces
- How to take care of your personal safety first
- The three lanes when divorcing a narcissist
- Legal lane aspects: divorce, children and finances
- Why mediation doesn’t work with a narcissist
- Emotional lane: blocking or modifying communication
- Other people lane: creating new friendships based on trust, love and connection
Know that the first year of divorcing a narcissist is going to be really tough, but you can do it. I trust you and I believe in you, but you've got to focus on your safety and on your mental health.
Resources:
- McKenzie Friend, http://www.mckenziefriend.co.uk/
- Our Family Wizard https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/
- https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
I'm sure most of you have heard of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. But there is something else called Complex PTSD. So in today’s episode we are talking about the Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- What Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is
- The difference between PTSD and Complex PTSD
- Being busy all the time as one of the traits of Complex PTSD
- Avoiding certain things and lack of memory as possible signs of the Complex PTSD
- How dissociation, flashbacks and intrusive thoughts manifest in Complex PTSD
- Long-term health risks of this disorder
- The neuroscience behind the Complex PTSD
If you can relate to some of the symptoms of the Complex PTSD, it doesn't mean you're going to have this forever. It just means that trauma is stuck, and what we have to do is unstick it, process it, get it time stamped into the past and move forward. I believe you, but it is your responsibility to do something about it. And I’m here to support you.
Resources:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
When we talk about narcissism, we talk about the two main categories of narcissists - overt and covert narcissists. You know that person who walks into the room, has a sense of grandiosity and commands the attention? That’s an overt narcissist. But today I want to focus on the other type, the covert narcissist, and why I believe it’s the most dangerous type of narcissists.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- Why covert narcissists are difficult to recognise
- How to spot passive aggressive behaviour
- Self-criticism or shyness as possible traits of a covert narcissist
- The false sense of self and the childhood wounds of narcissists
- Why narcissists never seek a therapist
- Envy, jealousy and false empathy
- How covert narcissists present themselves as victims
- Focusing on yourself as the first step in healing from narcissistic abuse
So let me know - do you have a covert narcissist in your life? Can you relate to anything that I've covered in this episode?
Resources:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
Narcissistic abuse isn't just some bad breakup or somebody being mean to you. This is actual trauma. In this episode I want to explain what trauma is, and to educate you on what exactly narcissistic abuse is.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- The definition of trauma
- Why narcissistic abuse is trauma
- The 4 trauma responses: fight, flight, freeze and fawn
- Why our perception is key in triggering a trauma response
- The origins of trauma responses
- What codependency is
- How to start healing the trauma
Although narcissistic abuse is trauma, it doesn't need to define you. I want to help you find meaning in it, so you can go on and not just heal your trauma, but you can actually thrive after narcissistic abuse.
Resources:
- https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
Narcissistic abuse is abuse to the very core of who you are. It leaves you feeling broken, lost, shameful and guilty.
How many of you wake up each morning feeling like you just don't want to get out of bed and face the world, like you are stuck in the freeze trauma response, not knowing what to do?
How many of you are maybe still in a relationship with a narcissist, whether it’s your parent, your partner, a co-worker or a friend, and you're desperately trying to please them every day, but you feel like you are not good enough, like it's your fault and you need to try harder?
I know what it’s like because that was me.
I’m Caroline Strawson and I want this podcast to support and educate you to know that where you are right now does not need to be where you will be in the future.
The journey of self-healing my own trauma of narcissistic abuse has led me to create a multi-award winning business. I use a unique integration of therapies such as EMDR, Brainspotting, Rapid Transformational Therapy and Positive Psychology to help women like you recover from narcissistic abuse.
Every week I will be delivering snapshots of education, support and inspiration, so you can slowly start to see the light at the end of the tunnel and heal the trauma of narcissistic abuse.
Thank you for listening and see you in the next episode!
Resources:
- https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse