Rethinking Communication: Recent Episodes
Michael Ashford
On Rethinking Communication (formerly The Follow-Up Question), independent journalist, speaking coach, and communication expert Michael Ashford explores how we can better connect with each other through the power of our words. For most of us, our formal education left gaps in our ability to communicate well with each other, especially when trying to navigate conflict, inspire change, and overcome misunderstandings. The goal is to get you to rethink how you connect with others, from the stage to the meeting room to the living room and everywhere in between.
So much of conversation is about understanding context.
From determining which conversations and relationships are worth engaging in to understanding the alignment in values to solving conflict, if you don't pick up on the context, you might create problems.
As you'll hear from my guest in this episode, John Wang, culture also provides context clues, which he discusses in his new book, Big Asian Energy, and on his podcast.
Often, John explains, the most important context comes from conversations you have with yourself first before you seek to engage with and understand others. This can make all the difference in communicating across differences and divides.
You can order John's book at https://www.amazon.com/Big-Asian-Energy-Unapologetic-Leadership/dp/0593475437
Check out John's work at https://www.bigasianenergy.com/.
This episode's content comes from a webinar I delivered earlier this year titled, "You Want Me To Talk To Them? How To Communicate With People You Disagree With."
In this presentation, I walk through what we get wrong about conflict communication and how conversations get stuck. I also cover a new way to approach uncomfortable conversations, my ASK then SEE method, which can help us lower the temperature of heated discussions.
Looking for a presenter or keynote speaker at your next event? Learn more about my speaking at https://michaelashford.com/speaking.
I had the joy of joining Rick Barron on his “That’s Life, I Swear” podcast for a conversation about… well... conversation. More specifically, how we can communicate better with each other when conflict arises.
Even though I was the guest, Rick told a story about him and his neighbor that is the perfect example of what I mean when I ask that you set aside your certainty and what you think you know about others and instead follow your curiosity.
We've been taught that when faced with disagreement, once you get a chance to speak, go on the offensive and don't back down.
However, one conversation I had recently revealed a far better and more productive approach — one that emphasizes asking questions beyond the point of your own comfort.
Humans were not designed to know all that we know, and it’s crushing our ability to communicate well with each other and affect positive change.
Speaking coach Neil Gordon joins the podcast to recount how school "educated me out of an interest in reading and communication," and his journey back to a love of both.
Neil specializes in persuasion and helping speakers create more compelling narratives in their stories. Out of that work, Neil says, a path to ward off pessimism and skepticism emerges.
Check out A Prayer for Owen Meany, the book Neil references in this conversation, at https://www.amazon.com/Prayer-Owen-Meany-John-Irving/dp/006220422X
To learn more about Neil's work, visit https://neilcanhelp.com/
I had the opportunity to join Steve Leskovec — a former guest on this podcast — on his radio show in Ohio to discuss effective communication.
As you'll hear, Steve and I spent most of our conversation focused on conflict communication and how we can show up better in situations where we disagree with others.
In this episode, I speak with Mischa Zvegintzov about his journey to sobriety at 17 years old and how getting in touch with his emotions and his curiosity fueled a new approach to relationships with others.
Check out Mischa's work at https://www.theinfluencearmy.com/.
Clichés and jargon are hampering your ability to effectively and confidently communicate your views and ideas with others.
In this episode, I walk you through a few ways you can ditch throwaway sayings and phrases and replace them with more impactful language.
Don't forget to subscribe to my newsletter to grab your free worksheet on the Detail Sprinkle Method at https://michaelashford.com/newsletter.
Rich Harwood, President and Founder of The Harwood Institute, joins me on this episode.
Over the past 35+ years, Rich has used his philosophy and practice of how community leaders can solve shared problems and deepen people’s civic belief worldwide to tackle some of the most deeply divisive issues.
As Rich explains, we need a better way to communicate through change, where we get out of the cul-de-sac of toxicity and step into our shared narratives of being builders, creators, and producers.
Rich's philosophy is grounded in what he views as an important prerequisite for change: finding a way to see more than what you want to see or are willing to see.
Watch the PBS Newshour feature that showcased Rich's work in North Carolina: https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/how-a-north-carolina-community-is-confronting-divisions-talking-through-its-differences
Learn more about the Harwood Institute at https://theharwoodinstitute.org/
This episode exposes a cunning and sometimes dangerous communication tactic we employ when we face disagreement or opposition.
The “stick to sports” clapback that has pervaded our discourse on deeply challenging and controversial topics is an attempt to limit another human being, relying on strict and uncompromising assumptions and presumptions about who they are and the value they bring to a particular issue.
To communicate well with others beyond the ways you were taught in school, you must know yourself and your motivations far better than you were led to believe.
If you're interested in working with me as a speaking coach, go to https://michaelashford.com/speaking-coaching. If you're interested in bringing me in to facilitate a communications workshop for your company, check out https://michaelashford.com/workshops.
Aden Nepom helps people build better habits around communication and collaboration to experience more joy in their work through her work with her company, Art of Change.
The feeling of joy as a conversational outcome is an interesting one, and Aden defines that joy as wholeness, excitement, and a sense of goodness in oneself.
As Aden describes, change requires experiencing it, and grief is a natural part of letting go of past expectations. Assumptions, fear, and joy often intersect in communication, and assuming positive intent and effective communication can drive positive change in the workplace.
Aden encourages self-awareness, asking for what you need and want, and avoiding polarizing communication, as relational conversations and collaboration are key to fostering joy and satisfaction in work and in our personal relationships.
Check out Aden's work at https://www.artofchange.com/ and connect with her on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/adennepom/.
If you want to bring about real, lasting, sustainable change in others, your efforts will be greatly helped if you become a more curious person.
As I explain in this episode, curiosity about others leads to greater understanding and less reliance on forcing others to change.
To give yourself a boost of curiosity, there are two questions you can begin asking yourself to set up more positive conversational outcomes.
Tim Wenzel is back on the show to discuss his book, "The Kindness Games," which he co-authored with Lee Oughton.
Tim was my guest in episode 104, where he shared how the original idea of The Kindness Games came about. Now that the book is out, Tim shares what went into writing it, the lessons learned, the stories highlighted, and his hope for the message.
Perhaps most importantly, Tim wants us to know that kindness has a power all unto its own, with the ability to break down systems of control.
Order "The Kindness Games" at https://www.amazon.com/Kindness-Games-Changed-Mindset-Community/dp/194578332X/ref=sr_1_2.
Connect with Tim's work at https://thekindnessgames.com/.
Is an unawareness of sunk costs sabotaging your communication efforts?
We often hold on to decisions, beliefs, and strategies simply because we’ve already poured time, money, or energy into them, even when we know they are no longer serving us well or are no longer aligned with who we are.
Understanding the role that sunk costs play in our decision-making — and how to work with them, not against them — is critical to clearer, more effective communication.
Whether in your personal life or professional interactions, this episode will give you fresh insights on how to cut through the noise and make more rational, impactful decisions, including three questions you should ask yourself.
Our society spends an awful lot of time and energy trying to categorize and label people.
From your political affiliation to your religion to your generation to your level of schooling, each "box" comes with it expectations of who and what you are, and as a result, a prediction of how successful you'll be in your chosen pursuits.
My guest in this episode is Vikram Mansharamani, author of the book, "The Making of a Generalist." Vikram has spent his life shunning the traditional ways of success and instead carved out a path for himself that leans into uncertainty and discomfort.
In this conversation, Vikram and I discuss what he calls "the migrant mindset," and how it has guided his decision-making throughout his life.
Vikram also explains why understanding as many points of view as possible is so important to him — a belief solidified by a respect for the fact that "every perspective is biased, incomplete, and therefore limited."
Learn more about Vikram at https://mansharamani.com/ and connect with him on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/vikrammansharamani.
How can you make your disagreements more meaningful?
Too often, when conflict arises, there's an understanding that a disagreement is present, but rarely do we take the time to truly understand why the disagreement is there in the first place.
This happens everywhere — at work, within family dynamics, with friends and significant others, in the political and social sphere. If you look closely, so many of the arguments being had are surface-level battles about the fact that a disagreement is present and not about the actual point of contention in question.
In this episode, I explain how one simple phrase — "The story I'm telling myself is..." — can make all the difference when trying to overcome conflict and disagreement.
Listen to episode 81 with Mónica Guzmán at https://michaelashford.com/episodes/ep-81-monica-guzman-the-perspective-changing-power-of-asking-what-am-i-missing
Listen to episode 131 with Robin Reames at https://michaelashford.com/episodes/ep-131-robin-reames-the-lost-understanding-of-rhetoric-and-the-power-behind-words
This conversation is perhaps the most profound exploration I've ever done on the power of asking questions to understand the meaning behind words.
Robin Reames is an Associate Professor of English at the University of Illinois Chicago and the author of the book, "The Ancient Art of Thinking for Yourself: The Power of Rhetoric in Polarized Times."
As Robin points out in this conversation, over the past century, we've lost sight of rhetoric's power to provoke us to think more deeply about the areas in which we disagree.
Examining the power behind the words we choose to state our beliefs and opinions gives us a chance to communicate better and more clearly with each other. By getting to the roots of how and why we disagree, we can have helpful and constructive problem-solving dialogue.
You can learn more about Robin's work at https://engl.uic.edu/profiles/reames-robin/.
Welcome to Rethinking Communication!
Over the past four years, I've uncovered some aspects of communication that I've noticed have largely gone untaught in our traditional educational settings.
So, I'm pivoting this podcast to focus on how we can bridge these gaps in our collective communication skill set.
In this first episode under the new banner, I introduce you to six things school didn't teach you about communication that I'll strive to explore and understand better as this show progresses.
They are:
- How to acknowledge emotions rather than letting them take over
- How to ask curious questions
- How to navigate conflict
- How to build support and drive change
- How listening is as important as speaking
- How to challenge your assumptions
If you'd like to contact me, you can email me at michael@rethinkingcommunication.com or go to michaelashford.com.
My guest in this episode is Patrick Williams, a public speaker, writer, artist, independent scholar, and educator. Patrick is the founder and CEO of Satori Innovation and the Creative Director of The Satori Institute, an arts, education, and research non-profit.
For more than four decades, Patrick has developed what he calls the Philosophy of Creativity, which is an approach to education and creative thinking to gain back what Patrick believes was "colonized" as children: creativity.
In this discussion, Patrick details the difference between specialized creativity and general creativity, and how it is approaching issues, problems, and challenges with a general creativity that unlocks new and exciting ways of connecting with ourselves and each other.
Check out Patrick's work at https://patrickwilliamsstaycreative.com/.
This is an interview I did with David Bryan on his Curiosity Invited podcast. In this conversation, David and I get into the deeper reasons why I started this exploration of change, common ground, and curiosity.
To order a copy of my book, go to https://michaelashford.com/caniaskaquestion to get signed copy or order it on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Can-Ask-Question-Following-communication/dp/1312245492/ref=sr_1_1.
In episode 99 of this show, Manu Meel offered up my favorite definition of empathy when he said it was the act of "making someone feel like they belong in that space with you."
Then, in episode 110, I explored the topic of listening and how to do it better with several guests, and we uncovered that asking questions was critical to true, real listening.
My guest in this episode takes both of those ideas — empathy and listening — and puts them into practice in one of the coolest ways I've seen.
Orly Israel began setting up Listening Tables in early 2022 as a way to hone his own listening skills while giving complete strangers the opportunity to sit down and be fully heard.
What he has learned from the conversations he's had since his first Listening Table is a wealth of lessons about how we can communicate well with each other, guided by respect and by setting aside the need to respond.
Check out Orly's work at https://thelisteningtable.com/ and follow him on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/orlyslisteningtable/
Listen to episode 99 with Manu Meel at https://michaelashford.com/episodes/ep-99-manu-meel-battling-political-apathy-through-building-conversational-bridges
Listen to episode 110, The Misunderstanding of Active Listening, at https://michaelashford.com/episodes/ep-110-the-misunderstanding-of-active-listening
What do you think you might learn about communication if you held thousands of conversations with strangers over the course of a decade?
Well, you don't have to wonder. My guest in this episode can tell you.
Back in 2015, while working as a sales rep tasked with cold-calling people who didn't want to talk to him, Rob Lawless started a side project to see if he could have conversations with complete strangers.
Rob set a goal: to have an hour-long chat with 10,000 people about whatever topic was most important to them that day.
This episode features Rob's 6,140th conversation on his way to 10,000, and it's with me.
We discuss many things, but perhaps most importantly, we dive into the lessons Rob has learned about communication and nuance along the way.
Check out Rob's work at https://www.robs10kfriends.com/ and at https://www.roblawless.com/, and follow Rob's journey on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/robs10kfriends/.
If you were to track how many times per day someone tried to convince you to change in some way, chances are you'd fill up pages worth of tally marks.
We often get sucked into thinking that the way to change people's minds to get them to do what we want them to do is to present them with enough evidence, data, and proof that our way is the "right" way.
But deep down, you know that's not how it works, don't you?
If you're not sure, allow my guest, Michael McQueen, to lay it out for you.
Michael is the author of the book "Mindstuck: Mastering the Art of Changing Minds," and in this conversation, Michael outlines why so often, our approach to change fails to take into account two of the most important factors in human belief and behavior: identity and dignity.
Check out Michael's work at https://michaelmcqueen.net/ and connect with Michael on Linkedin at https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelmcqueen1/.
This episode is taken from my recent appearance on Kwame Christian's "Negotiate Anything" podcast. In this discussion, Kwame and I take a deep dive into my book, "Can I Ask A Question?" and explore how the book came to be and the lessons about communication and change that I learned along the way.
To order a signed copy of my book, go to https://michaelashford.com/caniaskaquestion
To order Can I Ask A Question? from Amazon, go to https://www.amazon.com/Can-Ask-Question-Following-communication/dp/1312245492/ref=sr_1_5
My guest in this episode is Steve Leskovek, a retired nurse who has created a resource to teach teens and young adults valuable life skills that Steve realized were not being taught in schools.
The word resource might be underselling it a bit — Steve created an entire curriculum, complete with video tutorials and study guides for everything from financial literacy to basic home care to employment and workplace skills. Thus, he called it the Life Skills Curriculum.
As you’ll hear, Steve still has the heart of a nurse and an overwhelming drive to reduce strife and suffering for others, which is how Life Skills Curriculum came to be. Steve’s work is born out of the same place as our desire to keep loved ones safe.
Steve and I discuss in depth a few critical themes central to this show that also flow through much of his course material — communication and understanding how and why people change, and just how often progress in those areas starts from within.
Check out Steve's work at https://www.thelifeskillscurriculum.com/.
Connect with me on my website at https://michaelashford.com.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve noticed over the past decade or so the emergence — or at least the increased use of — the word neurodivergent.
And if you’re anything like me, you heard the term and made some assumptions about what it meant, what and who it described, and why it started showing up in more places and in more conversations…perhaps without really understanding or knowing much of the backstory or origins.
My guest in this episode is Meghan Bonde, a neurodiversity specialist and a former educator, and even she acknowledges the recent increase in usage of the phrase neurodivergent, despite the fact that it’s been around longer than perhaps you and certainly I realized.
But Meghan brings a perspective beyond just the usage of the word, as well as some terms and descriptions that might be new to you, as they were to me.
As you’ll hear Meghan explain, neurodivergent individuals have a different way of perceiving the world, and she emphasizes the importance of understanding these differences from a strength-based perspective, rather than how she believes they’ve been treated for so long — as dividing labels.
Check out Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted at https://www.sengifted.org/ or Meghan's work at https://www.teamneurodivergent.com/.
Connect with Meghan at https://www.linkedin.com/in/meghan-bonde-connect/.
One of the ways us humans feel the most vulnerable and least empowered is when others have authority and control over us.
Take away a person’s sense of autonomy and I’ll show you a person who is unsure of themselves, angry, and without peace.
When you voluntarily give away power and control over your thoughts and actions, psychologist Amy Morin says this chips away at your mental strength and your ability to be emotionally healthy.
As she wrote in her first book, “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do,” “giving other people the power to control how you think, feel, and behave makes it impossible to be mentally strong.”
In this conversation, Amy and I discuss what happens when you reclaim control over your thoughts and feelings, how it allows you to separate your opinions from facts, and how her experiences with grief and loss led her to write her original list of 13 things mentally strong people don’t do that turned into so much more than she could have anticipated.
Check out Amy's work at https://amymorinlcsw.com/
Subscribe to my newsletter, The Follow-Up, at https://michaelashford.com/newsletter
The phrase "Everyone has an opinion about everything these days," is often thrown out like it’s a bad thing.
But, you’re a human being. Of course you have opinions.
The bigger issue, in my humble, ahem, opinion, is that you are exposed to more peoples’ opinions and feedback and ideas than ever before.
You’re bombarded seemingly from all directions constantly.
The feedback loop all too often feels like a feedback fire hose.
And just like a firehose, there’s a missing element from all of this feedback: care for what or who is on the receiving end.
My guest in this episode is Jason Rosoff, the CEO and Co-Founder of an organization called Radical Candor, which he started with Kim Scott, who wrote the book, Radical Candor.
Jason and I discuss what Radical Candor is, but at its core, it’s about delivering important feedback while demonstrating care, especially when you don’t know the other person.
Jason describes some very real fears we all have — our fear of being known and our fear of having the things we care about dissected by others — and he outlines just how important delivering feedback with care can be to helping others not immediately get consumed by their emotions and feelings.
Learn more about Jason's work at https://www.radicalcandor.com/ and connect with Jason on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/jason-r-rosoff/
Learn more about my work at https://michaelashford.com
What in the world do witchcraft panics and witch trials have to do with communication?
I assure you, after hearing this episode, there will be little doubt of the linkage.
My guest is Steije Hofhuis, a Dutch university lecturer and historian and an expert on the early modern witchcraft panics that swept across Europe in the 15th, 16th, and 17th centuries, not unlike those that occurred in Salem, Massachusetts, in the late 1600s here in the United States.
As Steije explains, the ways in which witchcraft panics spread very much mimicked how a virus might sweep through a population — a notion with which we are, unfortunately, all too familiar these days.
And, as we’ve also seen, the hysteria and fear that comes with these outbreaks — so to speak — can cause humans to do and believe some pretty incredible things.
The no-win situations we twist ourselves into just to be “right” and “certain,” that we’re the ones who are healthy and “they” are the afflicted ones, not only look foolish when seen through the 20/20 perspective of hindsight, but in real-time affect peoples’ lives in some extremely damaging and destructive ways.
Check out more of Steije's work at https://www.uu.nl/medewerkers/STHofhuis, and connect with Steije on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/steije-hofhuis-1aa88363/.
Order my book, "Can I Ask A Question?" at https://michaelashford.com/caniaskaquestion.
Subscribe to my YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@michaeldashford.
You know the old saying “Never judge a book by its cover?”
I’ll admit, this week’s guest put me to the test.
Gary John Bishop is what he calls an “urban philosopher” and a New York Times bestselling author of titles such as Stop Doing That Sht, Wise and Fck, Love Unfcked, and his most well-known work, Unfck Yourself.
Gary’s got a new book out called “Grow Up: Becoming the Parent Your Kids Deserve.” And when I agreed to the interview, I did so with a heavy dose of skepticism.
But trust me when I tell you, my expectations of this conversation and the conversation that actually took place could not be more different.
In this interview, Gary brings a depth and perspective about personal growth, blame, truth, and yes, even a little bit of parenting that left my first impressions of Gary and his work in tatters.
As Gary wrote in his book, “Grow Up” is a must for all human beings, regardless of their parental status, and the same holds true for this conversation and the wisdom Gary shares in encouraging us all to be someone who can ask a question that changes everything.
We live in a world where the individual is celebrated and held up as the first and last option, and reliance on others is shamed and degraded in many ways.
Yet, it goes against who we are and who we are made to be.
We’re tribal.
We work best in small groups, sharing resources and working together to solve problems.
But what happens when this tribe drive goes haywire?
David Samson believes our bent towards tribalism has its negative consequences, but it can be overcome, and tribalism and understanding the ways we work together as humans can actually be a good thing, if we pay attention to it.
David is an associate professor of biological anthropology at the University of Toronto, and the author of the book Our Tribal Future: How to channel our foundational human instincts into a force for good.
As you’ll hear from David and as he writes in his book, no one is immune from the biases, notions, and tribal bents that govern your worldview, and by extension, how you aim to solve problems. Accepting this, and then critically examining how this has shaped your perception of reality, can be an unlock to communicating across differences and divides, and to actually solving real challenges and issues.
I am thrilled to welcome John Noltner back to the show for another conversation on what it means to intentionally seek out and create peace.
After John and I first connected in the fall of 2021 for episode 62, John and his wife sold their home, moved into a van, and set out on the road interviewing people from all walks of life to uncover their stories — the stories that reveal the common ground we share.
John has a new book about to be released that documents these travels called "Lessons on the Road to Peace," and he and I discuss what he learned along the way.
Check out John's work at https://apomm.net/.
I’ve mentioned many times that I am a lifelong Christian, and perhaps when you heard that you made some assumptions about me — about what I believe, about what I am not only for, but what I am against, about how I see the world and those living in it.
And know that I’m not judging you for that. That’s a human thing to do.
But the conversation you’re about to hear might challenge a lot of those assumptions — whether you’re Christian or not. Whether you believe in God or don’t.
This conversation with Pastor Mark Feldmeir explores the many questions I and many others like me are asking about our faith, undergirded by this notion or idea that questioning faith is actually a good thing.
Mark is the author of a new book called Life After God: Finding Faith When You Can’t Believe Anymore. In it, Mark challenges the understanding of God that many Christians insist is so clear in the Bible, but that makes faith seem like an all-or-nothing proposition.
Connect with Mark on his website at https://www.markfeldmeir.com/ and on Twitter/X at https://twitter.com/feldmeir.
Connect with me at https://michaelashford.com, and subscribe to my newsletter at https://michaelashford.com/newsletter to receive a special bonus worksheet!
Much of our language these days carries with it an unspoken message — an undertone of an individualistic, self-serving, perhaps even entitled mindset about not just our actions, but our beliefs and opinions.
But what of our responsibilities to others? Do those even exist? Or, what of our responsibilities to question ourselves? Is that a thing?
In this episode, I welcome back Andy Norman. Andy was my guest back in episode 65 when we discussed his book, Mental Immunity, and he’s the Co-Founder and CEO of The Mental Immunity Project.
Andy and I discuss belief attachment and its role in driving us to be more unthinkingly binary in how we view complex issues and indiscriminately suspicious of new ideas.
What Andy advocates for is what he calls “shades of gray thinking” as a way to invite in nuance and dig out of a binary mindset where you’re forced to have all the answers all the time (which, by the way, simply isn’t possible).
At the core of Andy’s message is a call to hold onto beliefs lightly and be willing to challenge them, not to necessarily prove yourself wrong, but to be more adept at recognizing when and why your capacity to think critically might be weakened or perhaps even intentionally hijacked.
Check out Andy's work at https://andynorman.org/ and https://mentalimmunityproject.org/, and take the Mental Immunity challenge at https://mentalimmunityproject.org/mi-challenge/.
In this episode, I welcome Josh Lewis, the host of Saving Elephants, a podcast and blog espousing the goodness and benefits of the conservative tradition in the United States.
Josh believes bad actors have hijacked conservatism, and if true conservatism is to survive — where the wisdom of the past is applied to the challenges of the present — then it will be up to Millennials to recapture its true meaning.
In 2016, Josh stepped down as the treasurer of the Tulsa County Oklahoma Republican Party when he saw conservatism going in a direction that strayed from its historical foundations set for by people like Edmund Burke, Thomas Sowell, and William F. Buckley.
Josh and I discuss his draw to the original premise of conservatism, the modern Republican party and Donald Trump, as well as his overarching belief that true conservatism embraces lively yet civil dialogue.
Check out Josh's work at https://www.savingelephantsblog.com/ and connect with Josh at https://twitter.com/svngelephants.
What happens if we never shed our child ego as we graduate into adulthood? How might someone show up in the world if they never emotionally mature past the child ego state, especially when conflict is present?
Dr. Reneé Carr is a psychologist and an advisor to political leaders at the state and national levels. Reneé’s gift is the ability to apply her background and understanding of psychology to not only help explain but to also help solve social challenges and problems, especially in instances where conflict is present and our ego gets in the way.
The cynic in you and in me only sees the conflict. The child ego in us only lets us see issues from our vantage point.
What Reneé shares in this episode is a reframing of conflict, one of opportunity and not threat to you and your needs, where we can discuss controversial issues without creating division — whether that be in politics or perhaps more relevant to you and me, even in our families, our friend groups, and our workplaces.
Want to be more confident in how you deliver your message? Check out my speaking and communications coaching.
In this solo episode, I give you a behind-the-scenes look at what went into my new book, Can I Ask A Question?
I reveal the themes and principles that inspired the book, which includes my ASK then SEE method of communicating through conflict.
My book is available for preorder at https://michaelashford.com/caniaskaquestion until Sept. 20, 2023. The book will be publicly available in mid-October.
What is active listening, and how does it make someone a good listener?
These days, the answers to those questions are complicated, mostly because we've lost sight of the goal of listening.
In this solo episode, I tackle how active listening has been warped into something it was never intended to be, and how we can refocus ourselves on the true definition of listening.
Preorder my book, Can I Ask A Question, at https://michaelashford.com/caniaskaquestion.
Check out my speaking and communications coaching at https://michaelashford.com/communicate-well-coaching.
If I were to ask, “Do you know someone addicted to drama?” there’s a good chance someone’s name and face immediately popped into your mind.
In the immortal words of those epic modern day poets, The Black Eyed Peas: "I think the whole world's addicted to the drama; Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma."
As it turns out, the Peas weren’t too far off.
My guest in this episode is Dr. Scott Lyons a psychologist, a renowned body-based trauma expert, and the author of the book “Addicted to Drama: Healing Dependency on Crisis & Chaos in Yourself and Others”
As you’ll hear from Scott, drama addiction is a very real thing far beyond a label you might throw out when you’re annoyed by someone’s behavior, and like so many other addictions, it is often wildly misunderstood — how it starts, what it’s masking, and ultimately, what’s needed to overcome and resolve it.
Imagine I'm standing right across from you and I tell you I'm thinking about eating a steak. Psychology tells us that you likely would assume that was true, and that actually, you assume the things most people tell you are true.
But how can you be sure?
In this episode, I speak with Dr. Kurt Gray, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at the University of North Carolina and the Director of the Deepest Beliefs Lab as well as the Center for the Science of Moral Understanding.
I came across Kurt’s work when I watched his TEDx Talk, What Am I Thinking, where he illustrates just how hard it is to know what’s in another person’s mind and in turn, what might be true for them.
It’s called the problem with other minds, and it is a major stumbling block when it comes to the things we value, our morals as individuals, and our ability to communicate across disagreements and divides.
Watch Kurt's TEDx Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQmQMCi5mNc
Check out Kurt's work: https://www.kurtjgray.com/
Follow Kurt on Twitter: https://twitter.com/kurtjgray
Is there anything a person can do that makes them unworthy of our empathy, curiosity, or compassion?
What if they’ve done something truly heinous?
This episode features my conversation with Robin Steinberg, who spent 35 years as a public defender in New York representing people in court who couldn’t afford a lawyer, many of whom had undeniably committed horrific crimes.
In her book, “The Courage of Compassion: A Journey from Judgment to Connection,” and in this conversation, Robin makes the case that even in instances where a person has committed a crime, they are still worthy of being treated with dignity. While she acknowledges that even for her, practicing compassion for people who have committed crimes doesn’t always come instinctively, getting there is made easier by asking a question that creates a perspective shift — Would you want your entire worth as a person judged by the worst mistake you ever made?
Robin is on a mission to help people maintain their humanity throughout their experience in the United States legal system, which Robin says crushes people before they are ever convicted of a crime, even in instances where the accused is innocent.
I encourage you to listen closely to what Robin is advocating for. She’s not asking for excuses…she’s asking for curiosity.
There's an unanswered question lingering in the air amongst all the talk that focuses on dialogue and bridging divides and finding common ground.
And that question is: What happens when we have to move beyond conversation and achieving understanding and we actually have to start producing solutions to problems? What do we do then?
It’s an important question because dialogue can only get us so far … or so it seems.
To help me answer this question, I invited Mónica Guzmán back onto the show. Mónica is the Senior Fellow for Public Practice at a political depolarization non-profit called Braver Angels, and she first joined me back in episode 81 shortly after the release of her book, "I Never Thought of it That Way."
As it turns out, this question of "what do we do when we actually have to solve problems?" is at the forefront of Mónica's mind as well, and she recognizes just how difficult it can be when competing values are placed on the table. In these scenarios, it's easy to slip into a zero-sum mentality, where for me and my side and my ideas to win, the other side has to experience total defeat.
Mónica and I discuss just how important language matters in these conversations, and how it might be the key to uncovering entirely new ways of looking at and solving problems.
Learn more about Braver Angels at https://braverangels.org/, and connect with Mónica on Twitter at https://twitter.com/moniguzman.
Listen to Mónica's previous appearance on The Follow-Up Question at https://michaelashford.com/episodes/ep-81-monica-guzman-the-perspective-changing-power-of-asking-what-am-i-missing
Understanding yourself better by exploring the makeup of your ideas and beliefs about the way the world works — or perhaps even the way the world should work — is a must if you are to have better, more productive, more actionable conversations when conflict is present.
And often, this soul-searching work creates a psychological safety that allows you to show up more confidently as yourself in all situations so that other people’s views don’t feel so threatening to you.
My guest this week is Mariama Whyte, a singer and actress who was a part of the Broadway National Tours for The Lion King and The Color Purple. I met Mariama in the months leading up to the TEDxManitouSprings Fluidity Event that was held on Dec. 3, 2022, during which she delivered her talk titled “How to Trust Your Voice and Speak with Confidence Anywhere.”
When Mariama finished her talk, I knew I wanted to have her on this podcast. During my conversation with Mariama, she explained what it looks like to do the deep work of figuring out how you best show up in the world and how it fuels her belief that we’re here not to just be, but to become.
Watch Mariama's TEDx Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWRSFWsNW98
Subscribe to my newsletter, The Follow-Up: https://michaelashford.com/newsletter
What shifts in the moment someone tosses aside your unique humanity in favor of a damaging and hurtful stereotype? Where you become a caricature of a certain type of person in someone’s mind rather than the nuanced and intricate person standing in front of them?
This week's guest, Tim Wenzel, believes that for so many of us, we’re conditioned to be thoughtless in our response to being mislabeled or misunderstood — we buy into the fiction that our response should be more about the clap-back rather than the step-back.
Tim has been there, and he’s sharing his experiences and perspectives here in this episode.
Tim is the creator of The Kindness Games, a challenge born out of the recent pandemic intended to counter the disruption, hate, and discontent that has engulfed our world. It’s an initiative rooted in following your curiosity rather than your ego, because as Tim details in our conversation, he knows firsthand that tension, conflict, and distrust can be overcome when you choose to respond to the sting of a stereotype with curiosity.
Check out The Kindness Games at https://thekindnessgames.com/ and connect with Tim on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/relevant-perception/.
What is the purpose of conversation?
Well, Fred Dust believes it’s change.
Fred is the author of the book Making Conversation, and in this, well, conversation, Fred shares why creating change is an elemental component of the most valuable and creative method we have of communicating with each other.
And here’s the trickiest part: the best, most productive, most creative conversations that actually solve problems often require the parties involved being individually open to change while at the same time acknowledging that they’re not trying to change anyone else in that moment. It’s nuanced and perhaps a bit confusing, I know, but if you’re like me, once you hear Fred explain it, you’ll come away more optimistic about the possibilities.
Connect with Fred on Twitter at https://twitter.com/f_dust or follow his work at https://www.dustand.co/.
What you hear in this episode is the rawest and most emotional interview I’ve ever done. And it's not even close.
When I first connected with Racquel Garcia, I was intrigued by her story of starting her organization, HardBeauty, where she and her team help people overcome and survive addiction, depression, homelessness, mental health issues, sexual assault, and domestic violence, among many other traumas.
Racquel is a Certified Addiction Counselor, Interventionist, and Recovery Coach, but she’s far more than those titles could ever explain. Racquel’s story exposes the deep complexities within every person’s story, and yet, her dreams and desires for her own life are the same that so many of us share — that bottomless, all-consuming yearning to find a safe place to call home.
A word of warning, the topics we discuss include murder, drug use, sexual assault, and suicidal ideation, and the language gets a little intense at times.
As you listen to Racquel’s story, check in with yourself and ask yourself, “What would I have done?”
Learn more about HardBeauty at https://www.hardbeauty.life/.
I’m more than 100 episodes into this podcast now, and along the way, many of the guests I’ve had on the show have introduced me to some words and phrases that I’d never heard before yet have helped give me the vocabulary to appropriately express the things I see in this messy world.
My guest in this episode brings with him another word and another definition that I was previously unaware of that deepens my understanding of the world we live in, and I hope it does the same for you, too. You’re going to have to listen to hear what that word is.
Matthew Trombley actually lives about 30 minutes away from me here in Colorado, but until I came across his TED Talk, The Beauty and Complexity of Finding Common Ground, I didn’t know Matt.
But we grabbed coffee one snowy winter day and got a chance to hear each other’s story, and, well, now he’s here on my show. Obviously, something Matt said resonated with me.
As you get ready to listen to Matt’s story and his perspective of conflict and common ground, please understand this: When we start our relationships with people from a place of fighting and arguing, we tend to turn our convictions into weapons.
And I ask you: Is that how you want to show up in the world?
Listen to Matt's TED Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UdTys0yd90
Here’s the thing about listening: the person being listened to has to feel heard for true listening to have taken place. And not just what they say, but how they say it, and what they mean by what they say.
My guest this week is Oscar Trimboli, host of the Deep Listening podcast, author of the book How To Listen, and a man on a mission to create 100 million deep listeners specifically in the workplace.
Oscar delivers some of the most profound and paradigm-shifting wisdom I’ve heard on the topic of listening because Oscar believes there’s doing listening, and then there’s being listening.
He describes listening as a contact sport, and that the best listeners realize when they’re not listening faster than others, and that you can begin to offer true wisdom to someone else when you become more concerned about their outcome of the conversation rather than your own.
In this, the 100th episode of this podcast, I’m grateful that Oscar took the time to listen to me during the course of this interview and provided an example of how I can improve my own listening, just as we all can.
The polarized nature of American politics, the zero-sum nature of seemingly every issue, the ways our leaders act and create policy not because they stand for something, but because they want to oppose the other side … it’s all just … exhausting.
Many Americans are in what's called "the exhausted majority," and this exhaustion can quickly turn to political apathy if the power of a collective voice is not realized.
My guest this week is Manu Meel, CEO of BridgeUSA, a youth-led nonprofit that creates spaces on high school and college campuses for open discussion between students about political issues. Manu and some friends started what would eventually become BridgeUSA when he was a student at UC Berkeley, and the movement has grown to span the country on more than 50 college campuses.
As you’ll hear, Manu’s journey as the son of Indian immigrants could have easily taken a turn towards political apathy, but he made the conscious decision to go in a different direction. That’s because Manu believes that humans like talking to each other in constructive spaces, and if that’s true, then he wants the exhausted majority to know that we are "never out of the fight."
Learn more about BridgeUSA's work at https://www.bridgeusa.org/, and connect with Manu on Twitter at https://twitter.com/ManuMeel_.
I'm switching things up in this episode, as this time, it's my turn to be interviewed.
This is an interview I did with Kwame Christian on his Negotiate Anything podcast in late 2022.
In this conversation, Kwame and I discuss how to communicatively hold space for someone, the psychology of change, and what it means to ask curious questions.
You can listen to Kwame's podcast at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/negotiate-anything/id1101679010
You can listen to Kwame's appearance on The Follow-Up Question at https://michaelashford.com/episodes/ep-94-kwame-christian-to-have-difficult-conversations-about-race-we-must-practice-the-skills-to-do-so
Learn more about my communications and speaking coaching at https://michaelashford.com/communicate-well-coaching
Lately, I’ve been fascinated by the psychology of change.
There came a point in late 2022 when I started to notice that many of the conversations I’ve had here on the show have carried with them an undertone of change. I’ve gone back and listened to many of the interviews, and change pops up quite frequently.
In fact, based on what I’ve gathered, one of the chapters of the book I’m currently writing asks the question: Do you believe people can change?
It is such a fun question because everyone I’ve ever asked that question of has answered me with an optimistic yes.
However, what I’ve noticed is that we often don’t act this way. We act as if people cannot change on their own, and so we try to force change to happen.
And we all know how that goes, right? I mean, I know I love being forced to change, don’t you?
But if we believe people can change, and we acknowledge true change can’t be forced, then how and why does it happen?
This is what I wanted to explore with Jeff Schoep. Jeff was my guest here on the show back in episode 57, and you might recall that Jeff is the former leader of the largest neo-Nazi organization in the United States, the National Socialist Movement.
Now, Jeff has left that world and ideology behind, and instead, he works to deradicalize others.
Jeff is someone who has gone through a radical change, so who better to walk through the psychology of change with than Jeff? Who better to understand what brings about change and why it's so hard, even when the thing we are clinging to is, to so many of us, so obviously wrong?
Check out Jeff's work at https://beyondbarriersusa.org/.
One of my favorite discoveries over the course of hosting this podcast is the concept that in order to communicate across divides and begin to better understand each other, we must learn to adopt the language of those we disagree with and speak in their terms.
Many guests here on the show have touched on this point, but this week’s guest exemplifies this approach more than perhaps anyone else I’ve come across. Elizabeth Doll is the Director of Braver Politics at Braver Angels.
Elizabeth is a Conservative in the Democrat stronghold area of Bainbridge Island, Washington, and she has been active in politics since her teenage years when she began volunteering on political campaigns.
But rather than act like prey backed into a corner by a predator, if I may use that analogy, Elizabeth engages. She seeks out answers to uncomfortable questions. She communicates rather than shouts. And it works.
In this conversation, Elizabeth offers up the strongest case I’ve heard yet for why using the language of those you disagree with, despite how discomforting it might feel, is the best way to open dialogue, uncover common ground, and ultimately, create ways to solve issues together.
Connect with Elizabeth on Twitter at https://twitter.com/doll_elizabeth and check out Braver Angels at https://braverangels.org/.
The first episode of 2023 my conversation with Karen Joy Hardwick. Karen recently released a new book, The Connected Leader: 7 Strategies to Empower Your True Self and Inspire Others.
And while it is a leadership book aimed particularly at business leaders, as I read The Connected Leader, I found that so much of the uplift Karen advocates for can be extended into our conversations outside of our work lives — whether you consider yourself a leader or not.
Karen and I have a deeply meaningful conversation about the role ego plays in our relationships with ourselves and with others, a way to think about listening to ourselves and to others that doesn’t feel so gimmicky, and her belief that we must shed the desire to want to “save” someone else when we disagree with who they are or what they believe.
You can learn more about Karen's work at https://karenjhardwick.com/ and you can connect with her on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/karenjhardwickinc/.
We all — myself included — have this ineffective little habit of wanting to be better at something and desiring to show up differently in the world and talking about how we can be better, yet we struggle to practice the skills necessary for us to do so.
Perhaps nowhere is this more true than in conversations about race. And to be more pointed with it — conversations about race in the workplace.
The truth is, if we never learn and then practice the skills that it takes to show up in a more effective way when situations involving race and racism and inequality rear their ugly heads at work (or anyplace for that matter), we default to our hardwiring — we get defensive, we get angry, we get consumed by winning the battle rather than working through the conflict.
Thankfully, people like Kwame Christian exist.
Kwame is the founder and CEO of the American Negotiation Institute, he hosts the Negotiate Anything podcast, and he’s the author of a new book called How To Have Difficult Conversations about Race — Practical Tools for Necessary Change in the Workplace and Beyond.
Kwame believes self-advocacy is a skill, not a talent. Thus, it can be taught. We can get better at having these difficult conversations, whether they’re about race or any other topic, when we put ourselves in the best position for success by learning and practicing the skills Kwame outlines in this conversation and in his book.
Check out the American Negotiation Institute's resources at https://www.americannegotiationinstitute.com/guide, listen to the Negotiate Anything podcast at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/negotiate-anything/id1101679010, and connect with Kwame on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/kwamechristian/.
This week’s guest lays out plainly the role our emotions play in how we communicate with each other across differences and divides.
Ari Wallach calls this consideration of our emotions as being full-spectrum human beings who can go forward, backward, and inward in our thoughts, and when examining a path forward through conflicts and how we envision our future as a society and as people, we must pay heed to the shared humanity that exists within our emotions.
Ari is a futurist, the founder and executive director of Longpath Labs, and the author of the book Longpath: Becoming the Great Ancestors Our Future Needs, an antidote for short-termism. In Longpath, which is a state of mind that recognizes how our decisions today affect the lives of generations after us, Ari argues that we are at a critical juncture in our time as humans where examining our desired future as a species requires asking some uncomfortable questions, empathizing with generations past, present, and future, and leaning into relational tensions.
Ari and I discuss the nature of the time we’re living in, which Ari relates to the turbulent intertidal zone of the ocean, and how your role and my role is not to convince each other to think the same, but to explore commonalities that exist and build upon them.
Check out Ari's work at https://www.longpath.org/ and connect with Ari on Twitter at https://twitter.com/ariw.
My guest on this episode equates conversation to being on a playground, where there is humor, joy, curiosity, exploration, and yes, some arguments and hurt feelings. And feeling bold enough to invite others onto our own personal playgrounds requires us to first uncover some things about ourselves and how we wish to interact with those around us.
You’re about to hear my conversation with Dr. Corey Yeager, a licensed marriage and family therapist as well as the psychotherapist for the National Basketball Association’s Detroit Pistons.
Doc recently released a new book called “How Am I Doing? 40 conversations to have with yourself”
As you’ll hear Doc describe in this conversation, before we can begin to understand others and communicate effectively with others around us — the other people on the playground — we have to first have a level of awareness about ourselves that unfortunately, very few of us pour much effort into achieving.
And that’s why Doc wrote his book. To give you a starting point to learn how to ask yourself the questions that will inform your ability to interact appropriately with those around you.
Check out Doc's work at https://doctorcoreyyeager.com/, connect with him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/drcoreyyeager, and buy his book at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1400236762.
In this episode, I’m bringing the political field of vision down to the local level, where honestly, I believe we’re more likely to enact significant change. Because at the local level, we have more ability to effect said change. There’s more within our control. We’re closer to the problems, and we're closer to the solutions.
This mentality is at the heart of what my guest on this episode does for a living. Martin Carcasson started the Center for Public Deliberation at Colorado State University, where, among many things, he helps train students to facilitate and run public meetings.
As you’ll hear Martin explain, democracy is hard. Not impossible, but incredibly difficult, especially when we focus on issues that take us further away from our communities and the people around us.
The idea of an engaged citizen — one that does their research, studies the issues at hand, and then votes based on a collection of this data — is unfortunately outdated at best, and entirely unrealistic, Martin says.
Instead, Martin advocates for us to aspire to something he calls the “wise collaborator,” a mindset that plays out at the local level where real people can affect real change by coming together not as partisan enemies, but as neighborly collaborators.
At a time where there are so many conflict entrepreneurs making money off our tendency to tribalize at the national level, Martin hopes to push back against these democracy undermining actors by getting people to understand that we have shared problems, and that it is these problems that are wicked, not the people.
Check out the Center for Public Deliberation at https://cpd.colostate.edu/, and connect with Martin at https://twitter.com/mcarcasson.
It’s nearly impossible to hear the word polarization and not immediately think of nasty political feuds. And many point to the fact that we even have political parties as the source of much of our division.
So imagine my surprise when in the course of researching my guest’s background for this episode, the organization he is a part of actually takes the stance that polarization isn’t always a bad thing.
My guest on this episode is Eli Zupnick. Eli is the co-founder of Fix Our House (https://www.fixourhouse.org/), an organization with a primary focus of getting proportional representation installed in the U.S. House of Representatives.
Eli’s colleague and co-founder, Lee Drutman, wrote a book called Breaking the Two-Party Doom Loop. In this book, Lee explains that the United States has always had polarized political parties; however, what most don’t realize is that up until the last few decades, the U.S. had actually operated within a hidden four-party system rather than the Republican-Democrat binary we see and experience today. The parties were still polarized, they just had to find ways to work together more effectively.
It’s a lot to get into, but this is what Eli and Lee and Fix Our House want us to get back to … a multiparty democracy where more cooperation takes place because no party owns a dominating majority, and where more people feel represented by their government.
To learn more about Michael Ashford, visit https://michaelashford.com/
Take a moment and think about the hopes and dreams you have for your life.
Beyond your goals for your career or your relationships. Not the planned out path that you might already be working on.
I’m talking about the irrational, blissful, pie-in-the-sky dreams that perhaps captured your attention back when you were younger and the world hadn’t caught up with your imagination yet.
Now, think about how your life has shaped the dreams you dream.
And perhaps more importantly for today’s conversation here on the show, how might your dreams be different had you grown up in different circumstances?
My guests this week here on the show are Janet Ruane and Karen Cerulo, each university professors and co-authors of the book Dreams of a Lifetime, how who we are shapes how we imagine our future.
You see, while we might intuitively know and believe that our dreams are shaped by the culture and situations we happen to inhabit, Janet and Karen actually have the research and the data to prove it to be true.
As Janet and Karen write in their book “Dreams represent the starting point of our perception of 'fit.' Where do we want to belong?”
And the question must be asked, if we each have different starting points, what effect does this have on our dreams, and what’s more, our ability to even dream itself.
You can find Dreams of a Lifetime at https://www.amazon.com/Dreams-Lifetime-Shapes-Imagine-Future/dp/0691229090/.
To learn more about my Communications Coaching, go to https://michaelashford.com/communicate-well-coaching.
One of the things that drives me crazy about modern society and culture is our tendency to call people names and assign them labels to avoid leaning into the uncomfortable conversations that exist when we disagree.
These names and labels — which are often untrue — carry with them enormous power to shut down productive conversation about important issues and they have the power to crush lives.
My guest this week, Jack Buckby, is all too familiar with this reality. A former member of a far-right extremist group, the British National Party, Jack has a perspective of the damage that can be done with names and labels are thrown about in bad faith and attributed to anyone with whom one disagrees.
Though he's no longer in a far-right group, Jack is still a conservative in many ways, and he's trying to get others to realize the harm labels and names can do to people who more often than not simply need an outlet to voice their concerns and be heard.
Get a copy of Jack's book at https://www.amazon.com/Monster-Their-Own-Making-Politicians/dp/1642934240/ref=sr_1_1 and follow Jack on Twitter at https://twitter.com/jackbuckby.
This episode explores the nuance of trust, and how we create more of it.
My guest is Dan Vallone, the Director of More in Common USA. After spending 6 years as an active duty Army infantry officer, which included a tour in Afghanistan, Dan got into the work of education policy and innovation, and eventually began to explore the common factors that exist in broken societies — alienation, isolation, polarization, distrust.
As you’ll hear in our conversation, Dan views trust as a nebulous and ever-changing thing brought on by influences that exist all around us. Trust is built through communication and experiences with others, and is rarely ever linear in nature.
Creating more trust across our divides as a society requires some messy, murky, and at times, seemingly morally satisfying work to get us to the point where we can lift our heads above the field of view of our immediate tribe and see others who exists near and with us who, as Dan explains, more often than not want and value very similar things as you.
You can find the studies Dan mentions in this episode at https://www.moreincommon.com/our-work/publications/. Connect with the More in Common USA team on Twitter at https://twitter.com/Moreincommon_.
Connect with me at https://www.michaelashford.com.
My guest this week believes there’s a lot more good in the world than there is hate, you just have to avoid getting sucked into the hate machine and instead look for many small instances where good occurs in the small things.
In this episode, I chat with Adam Wilkinson, or Wilk, for short. He’s a firm believer that light drives out darkness, and when we focus on bringing a little more light into the world, we do something Wilk calls “derate the hate.”
We give hate less room to invade.
As it were, Wilk shares this message as the host of the Derate the Hate podcast. He wants you and me and everyone to accept that while we cannot always control everything that happens to us and in the world around us, we can control how we respond — even in the moments where we disagree.
Check out Wilk's work at https://wilksworld.com/ or https://deratethehate.com/ including episode 86 with Chris Singleton (https://deratethehate.com/2021/12/08/episode-86-forgiveness-is-your-path-forward-love-is-stronger-than-hate-with-chris-singleton/) and episode 105 with your's truly (https://deratethehate.com/2022/04/20/episode-105-building-unity-by-asking-the-follow-up-questions-with-michael-ashford/).
My guest this week is Dr. Christia Spears Brown, author of the book "Unraveling Bias: How prejudice has shaped children for generations and why it’s time to break the cycle."
Christia explores how biases passed down through generations and through systems have time and time again come to a breaking point with children standing at ground zero of the struggle.
In reading Christia's book, I was struck by how often children are the rope in an ideological game of tug of war between warring and sparring adults.
Christia writes in her book: "When we start trying to unravel bias, it becomes clear how often children are the collateral damage to adults’ biases and biased policies."
In our conversation, Christia and I discuss how vitally important it is that we as adults have real, honest, frank conversations about bias with children so that they are not left to put the clues and pieces of the puzzle together themselves based on observing how their parents and other adults act.
You can connect with Christia at https://christiabrown.com/, or on Twitter at https://twitter.com/ChristiaBrown.
What if you lost your voice? What if you lost the ability to communicate with the world in the ways you love?
How would your life change? In what ways would your priorities shift?
That’s the story this week’s guest brings to the show.
Greg Offner lost his voice — literally — in 2015.
As a singer, Greg was stripped of the communication outlet that brought him the most joy.
He endured more than a dozen surgeries to bring his voice back, and he had to spend two months in total silence to let his vocal cords heal.
Greg eventually regained the ability to speak, and now, he’s sharing what the experience revealed to him, how he dealt with the loss, how he recovered in more ways than just vocally, and why he’s trying to get others to embrace disruption for the good it can bring.
Check out Greg's work at https://www.gregoryoffner.com/, and connect with him on LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/gregoffnerjr/) or Twitter (https://twitter.com/gregoryoffnerjr).
So often, our response to difficult and divisive conversations falls one of two ways — either we avoid the messiness and complexity and withdraw, or, we go in with clenched fists, ready for a fight.
But as you’ll hear from my guests this week, there is a third way.
John Siebeling and Wayne Francis are two pastors and friends that lead thriving churches in two very different cities who teamed up to give us a perspective of this “third way” in the book they co-authored, God and Race: A guide for moving beyond black fists and white knuckles.
John, along with his wife Leslie, founded The Life Church, which is based in Memphis, Tennessee. Wayne founded Authentic Church in New York, and in 2020, Authentic Church merged with The Life Church.
And, Wayne is Black, and John is White.
In their book and in our conversation today, Wayne and John advocate for open-handed conversation on difficult and nuanced topics, in this case specifically about race, racism, and the Church’s role in the conversation.
The third way that Wayne and John and I are asking us to enter into means we must begin to see problems from others perspectives, we must stop seeking perfection over progress, and we must understand that our influence starts with our ears before we ever utter a word.
You can find out more about Wayne and John's book at https://godandrace.com, and you can listen to their podcast, Leadership in Black and White, at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/leadership-in-black-and-white/id1529169100.
My guest this week is Chris Duffy, a comedian who found his way into hosting one of my favorite podcasts, How to Be a Better Human.
Chris details how he came to host the show, which is part of the TED Audio Collective, and all that he has learned in interviewing some pretty amazing human beings.
And as Chris is quick to point out, he's not saying he's the better human, he's just "a fool asking a lot of questions."
Listen to How to Be a Better Human at https://www.ted.com/podcasts/how-to-be-a-better-human.
You can check out Chris' work at https://chrisduffycomedy.com.
Mónica Guzmán is on a mission to help us see that questions should not be used as weapons to establish superiority, but rather as tools in our curiosity toolbox.
Mónica is the Director of Digital and Storytelling at Braver Angels, a non-profit working to depolarize America, as well as the author of the book "I Never Thought of It That Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times."
In this conversation, you'll hear about the many push-pull moments and circumstances of Mónica's life that have led her to seek out more instances when she has the chance to say "I never thought of it that way."
And during such deeply divided and polarized times, Mónica believes one of the most critical questions to ask is "What am I missing?"
Watch Mónica's remarkable TEDx Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSL0zNREHAE
Check out Mónica's work, including her book, at https://reclaimcuriosity.com, and connect with her on Twitter at https://twitter.com/moniguzman.
At 6 years old, Josh Stepakoff was the victim of a mass shooting.
Josh was just 6 years old playing capture the flag at a Jewish summer camp with a white supremacist starting shooting. Josh was shot in the hip and leg. Four others were injured, and one person was killed.
For more than 20 years, Josh has worked to overcome the fear and anxiety that his ordeal produced, and he's had to do it time and time again as he's seen hundreds of mass shootings play out without anything substantially changing in our society.
No matter where you stand on the issue of gun safety, Josh's voice and perspective are a must-hear.
Learn more about Women Against Gun Violence, an organization Josh helps guide as a member of the Board of Directors, at https://wagv.org.
I've always had a tricky relationship with the practice of gratitude.
It often felt forced, inauthentic, and at times, unhelpful or even unhealthy.
But my guests this week, Belinda Liu and Omar Brownson, provide a new perspective on practicing everyday gratitude in such a way that places the focus on self-reflection, connection with nature, and collaboration with other people.
Belinda is the Co-Founder of an organization called Gratitude Blooming (https://www.gratitudeblooming.com) and Omar is the host of the Gratitude Blooming Podcast. Together, Belinda and Omar offer up realistic and authentic ways to practice gratitude without the fatigue that can sometimes weigh it down.
Social media and "Big Tech" are at the forefront of a lot of peoples' minds these days with the news Elon Musk's bid to purchase Twitter.
Technology's role and importance in our lives are obvious, but with all of the advancements we've seen and experienced, one must ask if it has all been beneficial or positive.
This is the major question my guests this week seek to ask. Mehran Sahami and Jeremy Weinstein are Stanford University professors and co-authors of the book System Error: Where Big Tech Went Wrong and How We Can Reboot, along with their third co-author, Rob Reich.
I would describe System Error as a book filled with questions, questions that should have been asked years ago that never were, and questions that we should be asking now as technology continues to push forward. And while the authors post numerous questions about technology's role in shaping our society, they leave many of the questions unanswered, as these are clearly issues and challenges that require more than just three peoples' perspectives.
Find out more about Rob, Mehran, and Jeremy and their book, System Error, at https://systemerrorbook.com.
In this episode, I finally get to have the conversation that I've wanted to have ever since I first heard the question, "How can you hate me if you don't even know me?"
Daryl Davis is a black man who has asked that question of hundreds of Ku Klux Klan members and other white supremacists, including Jeff Schoep, the former leader of the National Socialist Movement who left that life behind several years ago. Jeff was a guest on this show back in episode 57, and it was through conversations with Daryl that he finally came to understand that his worldview was wrong.
Daryl has been the driving force for hundreds of people to leave the KKK and other white supremacist groups, not through coercion or force or ridicule, but through curiosity and understanding and non-judgmental conversation.
Conversations like this one with Daryl are the reason I started this show, and I hope that by listening to it, you feel the full effect of what Daryl's approach to conflict resolution could have if we all followed his lead.
Watch Daryl's TEDx Talk at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4gly9n9RBo. Check out Daryl's work at https://www.daryldavis.com, and connect with him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/realdaryldavis.
Visit https://www.michaelashford.com to connect with me and my work.
I am a sucker for personality tests.
My favorite is the Enneagram. And while I know personality tests aren’t the end-all, be-all, there’s something about the Enneagram that deeply resonates with me.
What’s interesting about the Enneagram is that it gives you a view of what an unhealthy version of yourself looks like, as well as a healthy version.
In this episode, I speak with Ian Morgan Cron. Ian is a master teacher of the Enneagram, an Episcopal priest, a trained psychotherapist, and the host of one of the largest podcasts on the topic of the Enneagram, Typology.
He’s recently released a new book called The Story of You, An Enneagram Journey to Becoming Your True Self, where he outlines his own path to get out of a broken story he was living in, and how each Enneagram type can do the same.
Ian believes that most of us are reading off old scripts of our lives, and at some point, the stories we told ourselves as children as to how we navigate the world stopped serving us well, and instead, started to break us down.
You can find Ian's book on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Story-You-Enneagram-Journey-Becoming/dp/006282581X), and you can check out more of Ian's work on his website (https://ianmorgancron.com) or on his Typology podcast (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/typology/id1254061093).
Cognitive dissonance is the extremely uncomfortable feeling we get when we face new information that we know to be true but doesn’t align with our identities or beliefs.
The alarming things about cognitive dissonance is the lengths we will go to to preserve our identity rather than face a new reality.
In this episode, I chat with Dominic Packer, a professor of psychology at Lehigh University, who along with his friend and colleague, Jay Van Bavel, an associate professor of psychology and neural science at New York University, co-authored the book The Power of Us: Harnessing Our Shared Identities to Improve Performance, Increase Cooperation, and Promote Social Harmony.
Dominic and I discuss how ignoring information we know to be true simply because it doesn’t align with our chosen group’s identities leads to polarization, distrust, and a rush to wall-off and create a harmonious bubble of groupthink, and ways we can counteract such things.
Check out the Power of Us book at https://www.powerofus.online and join Dominic and Jay's newsletter at https://powerofus.substack.com. You can follow Dominic on Twitter at https://twitter.com/dominicpacker_.
Can food be a way to get more people to the table - so to speak - to discuss hot button topics and issues with a less argumentative and judgmental undertone?
This is a question that my guest on this episode quite literally set out to answer.
Justine Lee, the executive director of an organization called Living Room Conversations, as well as the co-creator of a series of events called Make America Dinner Again, believes that yes, getting people with divergent views and beliefs to sit down and share a meal with each other can be a way to cool the flames of polarization and get people.
For Justine, putting together these dinners was a way to help her deal with, as she puts it, the discomfort of the ugliness of her own thoughts.
The dinners are not a way to get people to agree. As I’ve said many times, including during my TEDx Talk, understanding does not equal agreement.
But if that’s true, then I had to ask Justine, what should be our takeaways from having uncomfortable conversations?
Connect with Justine's work at livingroomconversations.org or facebook.com/groups/mada.discussion, and follow her at twitter.com/justineraelee or at justineraelee.com.
My guest this week, Bruce Ledewitz, characterizes the era we are currently living in as the Age of Evasion.
In the Age of Evasion, irony replaces reason and passion replaces planning. And a lack of or even complete loss of faith.
As a man who grew up religious who now is atheist, Bruce has a unique perspective on this loss of faith and what it has meant to our society.
Yet interestingly enough, Bruce is also hopeful.
In his new book, The Universe is on Our Side: Restoring Faith in American Public Life, Bruce seeks to answer the question: Is the universe on our side?
To those of us who believe in a higher power, the answer is an easy one, but there needs to be a deliberate attempt to understand how and why others don’t come to this same conclusion.
And as for the answer for people like Bruce, who don’t believe in God, he actually makes the case that even so, yes, the universe is on our side.
And if the answer is yes no matter where you stand on the topic of God, it has huge implications for our ability to overcome our lack of significance, trust, and faith.
Connect with Bruce at bruceledewitz.com or on Twitter at https://twitter.com/BLedewitz.
Connect with me at https://www.michaelashford.com, or you can always email me at michael@thefollowupquestion.com.
So often, we see what we want to see.
Once it's there, we really, really believe what we see.
And what we see affects how we act.
And this has enormous ramifications on the stories we tell about ourselves and about others.
My guest this week is Mike Ganino, a speaking and storytelling coach who helps people who want to stand out on stage and deliver memorable, resonant performances.
I know most peoples’ dream isn’t to share their story under the bright lights of a stage. But that’s not what I wanted to talk to Mike about.
He and I discuss the value of getting really good at articulating your background and your story so that you can be truly seen.
Check out Mike's work at https://www.mikeganino.com, and connect with him on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/mikeganino.
What if I told you this relentless pursuit of self care we’ve been sold as the answer to our happiness was the thing most contributing to the loneliness, detachment, and distrust we are collectively experiencing?
In this solo episode, I explore this idea and offer up a theory on what might be a more achievable way to attain happiness.
I'd love to hear your thoughts. Let me know on Twitter (https://www.twitter.com/michaeldashford) and/or Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/michaeldashford).
The United States is an experiment. And like any experiment, there have been times when it has failed miserably to produce sound, quality results for its people.
But the beauty, the promise, the hope, is in the trying. The beacon of light that so many view as the United States is wrapped up in the action plan put forth by the founding fathers to pursue becoming a more perfect union.
My guest this week is Reverend Adam Russell Taylor, president of Sojourners, a Christian organization working to advance peace and justice. He’s recently released a book called “A More Perfect Union: A new vision for building the beloved community.”
In his book, Adam says we’re at a point in our history where we need a new common moral vision that can unite the country. We need a bigger story of “us,” one that exemplifies the fact that we are a nation made up of so many divergent backgrounds, identities, beliefs, and ideals.
Follow Adam's work with Sojourners at https://sojo.net and get a copy of his book at https://sojo.net/ampu. Follow Adam on Twitter at https://twitter.com/revadamtaylor.
Can humans keep up with the accelerating pace of change we are collectively experiencing? An ironic question considering the change is the making of our own hands.
Despite all of the comforts that modern life affords human beings, we are more uncomfortable, more miserable, and more polarized than we've ever been.
My guest this week is Heather Heying, an evolutionary biologist who writes in her recent book (co-authored with her husband, Bret Weinstein) that the cause is clear: our minds and bodies are ill prepared for the world of "hypernovelty" we've created.
In our conversation, Heather and I discuss one question that begs to be asked more than ever these days: Just because we can...should we?
Check out Heather and Bret's book, A Hunter Gatherer's Guide to the 21st Century, at https://huntergatherersguide.com. Follow Heather's work at https://heatherheying.com or at https://twitter.com/HeatherEHeying.
James Parker is a filmmaker and the director of the documentary Other Side of the Hill, which takes us to rural Eastern Oregon to document how climate change is affecting the livelihood and the economy of several rural communities there, as told through the voices of the people on the ground.
Being from a mostly rural state myself, Kansas, the people in James’ film are deeply familiar to me. They’re hardworking, blue-collar, respect and honor-driven individuals and collectives that feel increasingly unheard in today’s political climate.
James’ documentary is a beautiful peek into the lives of the real people that political divisiveness harms or discards altogether. It also shows us how in order to find common ground, we have to meet people where they are and talk about what matters most to them and address the concerns that they face in their daily lives.
In our conversation, James and I discuss why it was so important for him to make this film, and more importantly, what lessons we can learn about how to achieve outcomes that leave everyone feeling seen, heard, and understood.
Watch Other Side of the Hill at https://www.othersideofthehillmovie.com, and connect with James' other work at https://www.synchronous.tv.
What can a painting of a shipwreck from the early 1800s tell us about our society today?
This week’s guest, Amy Herman, believes art holds within it important lessons about life, greed, politics, and humanity that carry through from centuries past.
Amy is the founder of The Art of Perception, an innovative program that uses works of art to revitalize our creative thinking. She’s written a new book, FIXED: How to Perfect the Fine Art of Problem Solving, where she shares her methodology of using art to refresh critical thinking skills to help resolve problems, difficulties, and challenges.
Using art as a neutral ground, if we can dig into our discomfort and better articulate our views, we can turn conversation stoppers into invitations to more — more dialogue, more understanding ... of ourselves and of each other.
View The Raft of the Medusa oil painting: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Raft_of_the_Medusa
Connect with Amy's work at https://artfulperception.com and at https://twitter.com/AmyHermanAOP.
My guest this week is Tony Chatman, the author of the book The Force Multiplier: How to lead teams where everyone wins.
A force multiplier is a tool used to exponentially increase output. Think of a wheelbarrow, or a pulley.
Or in the case of a leader, someone who positively impacts the performance of those in their charge beyond the bounds of what they individually contribute — the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.
Tony and I discuss his journey to leadership and why he’s so passionate about building up leaders who recognize that their role is not about being the best performer on a team so they get to now lead that team.
And before you skip over this episode because you don’t hold a vice president or owner or CEO, Tony is intentional about this: the majority of leaders are supervisors, team leaders, or managers. Or perhaps parents, community leaders, or volunteers. It’s not about the title, it’s about what you do with the role.
Connect with Tony at https://www.tonychatman.com or on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tonychatmanspeaks.
What you are about to hear is quite possibly the most difficult conversation I’ve ever had. So much so that I almost didn’t do it.
But that's what makes it so good.
My guest this week is Andy Norman. Andy is an author, researcher, and philosopher who believes we can inoculate our minds against bad ideas. And Andy is an atheist. And I? I am a Christian.
What you’re about to hear is an example of how two people with very opposite viewpoints can come together and have a conversation where they strongly disagree, yet leave the conversation with an immense amount of respect shared between them.
Connect with Andy at https://andynorman.org and at https://cognitiveimmunology.net.
Here in the United States, we are not at war. We have options and choices as to how we move forward and bridge political, ideological, and social divides.
That's the overarching message this week's guest, Nealin Parker, wants us all to understand.
Nealin is the founder and former advisor to the Bridging Divides Initiative at Princeton University and newly minted Executive Director of Common Ground USA, the initiative designed to halt the country's slide toward political violence, take-on the roots of conflicts that divide Americans, and accelerate national healing.
Nealin's experience working in and studying post-conflict cultures, as well as her own upbringing in a hometown with deep Civil War ties, has given her a perspective on the anger and humility that comes from defeat that can be a lesson plan for a better understanding of polarization.
Check out the Bridging Divides Initiative map of organizations at https://bridgingdivides.princeton.edu/bridging-map/map.
What does resilience mean these days? Depending on your view of the world, we're either displaying our resilience as human beings, or we're succumbing to our lack of it.
For this week's guest, Stacey Copas, who was paralyzing in a diving accident as a kid, resilience means so many things. But it most certainly does not mean going back to "the way things were" — something many of us have likely longed for at some point over the last 18 months.
Stacey speaks around the world about resiliency and how to put it into practice, using her own story as inspiration to so many who need to hear it.
You can connect with Stacey at https://www.staceycopas.com and on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/staceycopas.
When you hear the word peace, what comes to mind?
For this week’s guest, John Noltner, the meaning of peace has come out of some pretty uncomfortable moments.
In the wake of the 2008 recession John's freelance photography gigs were too few and far between to keep the bills paid, so he had to come up with a plan.
And so, John began a project that came to be called A Peace of My Mind, where he traveled the country gathering stories and portraits of people
He details his travels and stories in his new book, Portraits of Peace: Searching for hope in a divided America. And in our conversation, John and I talk about all that he has learned along the way.
Connect with John at https://apomm.net and on Twitter at https://twitter.com/apeaceofmymind1.
One of the most frustrating aspects of the last 18 or so months as we've dealt with the COVID-19 pandemic has been the rampant misunderstanding of the scientific process.
We've heard "trust the science" over and over again, but what does that even mean? What do people think of when they read scientific research — if they even read it at all? And what nuance is missing in our discussions about science?
My guests this week, Gale Sinatra and Barbara Hofer, co-authored a book to specifically address these gaps in our scientific understanding. Gale is a professor of education and psychology at the University of Southern California and Barbara is a professor of psychology emerita at Middlebury College.
Their book is titled "Science Denial: Why it happens and what to do about it," and within it, Gale and Barbara not only help shed light on the details that are so often misunderstood in our knowledge of the scientific process and its goals, but also offer up actionable ways to bridge the divides.
You can get your copy of Science Denial at https://www.amazon.com/Science-Denial-Happens-What-About/dp/0190944684.
Most of us can agree that finding common ground is a good thing, but we desperately struggle to put it into action.
My guest this week is Bruce Bond, the CEO and Co-Founder of the Common Ground Committee, one of many organizations working to provide the "spark of inspiration" needed to help us come together in more meaningful ways.
Bruce says that without an outside common enemy, we often turn on ourselves and polarize, and this is why its so important for the so-called "exhausted majority" to find its voice.
Check out the Common Ground Committee at https://commongroundcommittee.org.
Other resources mentioned:
- Bridge Alliance - https://www.bridgealliance.us
- Civic Genius - https://www.ourcivicgenius.org
- Living Room Conversations - https://livingroomconversations.org
- Braver Angels - https://braverangels.org
Take a moment and sincerely try to articulate a view that is opposite of your own.
It’s uncomfortable, and it’s really, really hard to not let your biases and assumptions about “the other side” cloud your ability to articulate their views.
Because chances are, your view of “the other side” is far more extreme than what is actually true, and this is exactly the mindset that is the focal point of my interview with this week’s guest.
Tania Israel is a psychologist, author, and speaker, and a professor at the University of California. As part of her her work she has facilitated educational programs and difficult dialogues about a range of divisive topics, including abortion, law enforcement, religion, and sexual orientation, and she’s written a book titled Beyond Your Bubble.
Tania and I have a fantastically enjoyable conversation about how often we view others who disagree with us in more extreme ways than what is actually true, and how this affects our ability to achieve common ground, and how understanding doesn’t mean agreement.
Find out more about Tania's work at https://taniaisrael.com, and be sure to download her Dialogue Flowchart (https://taniaisrael.com/dialogue-flowchart). Follow Tania on Twitter at https://twitter.com/BYBdialogue.
It's not in our nature to listen first. So much attention is paid to speaking that we often forget that for it to be effective, someone else has to be listening.
Here in the United States, we take public speaking classes in school and speech is a protected right under the Constitutional, but no such attention is paid to listening.
My guest this week, Graham Bodie, is a professor and researcher at the University of Mississippi and the COO of an organization called the Listen First Project (https://www.listenfirstproject.org). And in our conversation, Graham helps me uncover the reasons why listening first doesn't always come easy.
Check out Graham's work on his website http://www.grahambodie.com.
For 25 years, Jeff Schoep led the largest neo-Nazi organization in the United States — the National Socialist Movement. For more than two decades, Jeff spread propaganda, hatred, and fear, and his extremist views caused pain, anguish, and suffering for many.
But just a few years ago, Jeff left that world behind. But what’s more, Jeff didn't just leave, he started an organization, Beyond Barriers, to actively work to get others out as well — to recover minds and souls imprisoned by extremist ideologies.
How could someone go from such one extreme to another?
As you’ll hear in our conversation, Jeff’s hate-filled worldview began to crumble when he was simply asked questions that caused him to, in his words, begin to see the humanity in others.
This is the second part of a two-part series on extremism. If you missed part one, go back to episode 56 and my conversation with Jesse Morton, who for years led a radical Islamic group before he left that life and mindset behind.
Check out Jeff's work at https://jeffschoep.com and https://beyondbarriersusa.org.
What happens when an ultimatum doesn’t work, and instead of bringing people into alignment with your cause, it pushes them into the very thing you’re trying to prevent or discourage?
In the aftermath of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks on the United States, President George W. Bush famously stated “Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists,” effectively launching the 20-year War on Terror.
For Jesse Morton, who had recently come to find Islam as a potential landing spot to find community, connection, and belonging, President Bush’s words laid out a duality of choice, and Jesse took the path that President Bush and nearly all other Americans wanted to avoid, and over time, Jesse became one of the most prominent radicalizers in the West.
Jesse and I discuss the ramifications of reciprocal dehumanization — where opposing sides see each other as less than — we talk about the immense difference between simply airing grievances and creating a vision that supersedes the allure of extremist ideas and behaviors, and ultimately, we dive into what the end game might look like if we don’t seek ways to unearth common ground with each other.
Connect with Jesse's work at https://www.lightuponlight.online, and follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/_JesseMorton.
This week, I'm going solo to dive a bit deeper into a topic we care about A LOT — our opinions.
I make the case for why you don’t have to have an opinion about everything, and in fact, you probably shouldn’t. In our rush to be right — or, at least, appear to be right — we create snap judgments without first giving ourselves the space for critical thinking.
And if you're a fan of the Olympics like I am, you'll find the topic of this episode particularly relevant.
If you believe the 24-hour news cycle or the pundits pontificating on social media, we are as polarized politically as we can possibly be and every issue leads to gridlock.
My guest this week, Layla Zaidane, believes differently, and she has good reason to. In her role as the President and CEO of the non-profit Millennial Action Project, Layla is a part of making bipartisan cooperation happen across the United States on issues as big as criminal justice reform, gun violence, veteran employment, and immigration.
Layla and the Millennial Action Project team understand that you can hold different beliefs on big issues and still be a good person, and that when it comes down to it, political discourse that is grounded in empathy and seeking common ground can actually achieve big things.
Connect with Layla and the Millennial Action Project team online at https://www.millennialaction.org and on Twitter.
These days, we exist in a state of constant stimulation. More than ever, we need moments that center our attention on the experience at hand, and our thoughts, and our emotions.
That's the view of my guest this week, author Rebecca Pacheco. In her new book, Still Life: The Myths and Magic of Mindful Living, Rebecca writes, “Our attention is not infinite, and only we can control how to spend this most precious resource.”
Rebecca joins me this week to talk about meditation and mindfulness, the differences between the two, and how we can more compassionately and lovingly show up in the world. We also dive into the idea of what it means to be reachable.
Connect with Rebecca on her website, and on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/omgal.
Matthew Barzun is the former U.S ambassador to Sweden and the United Kingdom, and in his new book, The Power of Giving Away Power, Matthew lays out a shift in how to think about power and leadership.
In so many areas of our lives, power is seen as a pyramid, where the people at the top make the decisions, create the ideas, and determine the course of action. Matthew makes the case for the constellation mindset, where we rely on individual parts coming together to form something greater and grander than previously thought possible.
Matthew asks some big questions that challenge our concepts of what winning and losing looks like, and how we approach our disagreements.
Connect with Matthew on his website at https://matthewbarzun.com, and follow him on Twitter (@matthewbarzun).
On a hike in Joshua Tree National Forest in 2018, Claire Nelson mistakenly veered far from the trail and fell 25 feet after an unfortunate misstep — a fall that shattered her pelvis and left her immobile.
For four days, Claire lay alone in the sweltering heat of the California desert, reflecting on her life, her fears, and the things she had held most dear.
Claire survived, she's recently released a book, Things I Learned from Falling, to describe how her rescue and subsequent recovery came to pass, and she's this week's guest here on The Follow-Up Question.
While waiting for a rescue she was never certain would come, Claire gained a perspective shift that has caused her to see the world and its worries through a strikingly different lens, and it is this perspective I had to understand better.
Connect with Claire on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/ladyeclaire.
This week I welcome Heino Falcke, an award-winning astrophysicist who helped lead the team of astronomers that captured the first-ever image of a black hole.
His new book, Light in the Darkness: Black Holes, the Universe, and Us, is a fascinating recount of how people from all over the world came together to peer into the depths of space in a way that had never been done before.
Two things can be true at the same time, and as you’ll hear from Heino, you can look to the universe and see the edges of scientific discovery and physics and the equations that tell us about the cosmos, and you can also see the beauty, the wonder, and the unknowable nature of the stars, planets, galaxies and have it strengthen your belief in the existence of God.
Learn more about Heino's work at https://heinofalcke.org, and follow him on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/hfalcke.
My guest this week is hip hop artist and poet Jason "Propaganda" Petty. He’s got a new book out called, Terraform: Building a Better World. And after reading it and digging more into Prop’s work, I haven’t been able to look at my morning cup of coffee the same.
This conversation with Prop went to some deep places. He’s an intensely observational man … not much gets past him. And it flows into the art he creates, taking social issues, cultural issues, religious issues, and making them as accessible as that morning cup of coffee.
Prop and I discuss this strange push to make every issue we face a zero-sum game — that in order for me to win, you must lose — and how in the end, he believes we don’t have a math problem. We have a philosophy problem.
Watch "If Coffee Were a Man."
Check out Prop's work at https://www.prophiphop.com and connect with him on Instagram and Twitter.
From a young age, Rasheed Ogunlaru was concerned about matters of the heart — about showing up in all situations as he truly was and not just who he felt he needed to be.
Now, as a speaker, coach, author, and singer-songwriter, Rasheed has dedicated his life to helping others navigate the tug between accepting their true selves and managing personal growth.
This week, Rasheed and I discuss what it means to love yourself, to become who you are, and how to connect with others from the heart.
Learn more about Rasheed's work at https://www.rasaru.com and on his YouTube channel.
My guest this week, Dr. Peter Coleman, is a professor of psychology and education at Columbia University, where among other things, he directs the Difficult Conversations Lab. He’s written several books on the topic of conflict, and his latest work is the focus of our conversation this week here on the show.
Peter’s new book is called The Way Out, How to Overcome Toxic Polarization.
Dr. Coleman has spent decades researching how we get ourselves into deeply divisive states, and more importantly, how we get ourselves out.
One thing is for sure, we’re never going to debate our way to agreement. This mock trial style of discourse aims to score points rather than resolve conflict, and as you’ll hear Dr. Coleman discuss, it’s far too simplistic.
Connect with Peter Coleman on Twitter at https://twitter.com/PeterTColeman1, and learn more about his work and his new book at https://www.thewayoutofpolarization.com.
This week, I welcome Nisha Anand to the show. I first came to know about Nisha when I found her Ted Talk titled, The Radical Act of Choosing Common Ground.
Sounds right up my alley, doesn’t it?
A long-time activist and the CEO of a non-profit called The Dream Corps, Nisha has been involved in such work as helping garner bipartisan support for criminal justice reform that was eventually signed into law by President Trump.
Call it compromise, call it bargaining, call it whatever you want, understanding differing viewpoints does not have to equal agreement. But there is no way you can find common ground and work toward solutions to challenging issues if you do not first understand the viewpoints and arguments that differ from your own.
Watch Nisha's TED Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/nisha_anand_the_radical_act_of_choosing_common_ground_mar_2020?language=en
Learn more about Nisha's work with The Dream Corps at https://www.thedreamcorps.org
The ingredients of a happy and thriving career include being seen as a valuable employee and having our work be seen for its value.
My guest today, Karen Wright, an executive coach and author, has been there and understands this desire. And as you’ll hear, Karen found out years ago that to be happy and fulfilled in her job, she needed to be seen and known, even if it meant letting go of some pretty big commitments.
As you listen to Karen today, ask yourself: What commitments are you holding onto that are making you unhappy?
Connect with Karen at https://www.parachuteexecutivecoaching.com/karen-wright.
My guest this week is Matis Miller, a licensed clinical social worker, a certified cognitive and dialectical behavior therapist, father of 6 children, and author of the book “The Uncontrollable Child.”
Any parent can tell you that we have a lot of ideas about what a child should or shouldn’t do, or how they should or shouldn’t act and behave. And this is the root source of so much of the kind of frustration only a parent can truly understand.
But as Matis writes in his book, when you focus on what others "should" do, you’re “getting stuck on what you wish were true rather than what actually is true. This keeps you from working effectively toward a realistic solution.”
Matis writes about parent-child relationships here, but doesn’t this sound exactly like every charged issue we face in society these days?
Connect with Matis' work at https://theuncontrollablechild.com.
This week's guest and I have a mutual disdain for the phrase "time heals all wounds."
In her new book, I Am Here, Ashley LeMieux writes about how untrue “time heals all wounds” is as she recounts the many deep scars she holds and how she has taken an active part in moving past them.
We all have wounds that affect how we show up in the world today, but our shared pain and trauma can help us better understand each other as we seek to find common ground around bigger issues.
As Ashley writes about in I Am Here, "maybe healing isn't about what we don't feel and, instead, is about what we do."
Connect with Ashley at https://theshineproject.com and on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/ashleyklemieux.
My guest this week is Jeffrey Shaw, author of the book, The Self-Employed Life.
Jeffrey has never had a traditional job. He’s always worked for himself, starting as a kid when he’d sell eggs door to door.
Entrepreneurs and the self-employed are masters at using the words of the doubting as gasoline on the embers of the idea that drives them, and Jeffrey is no different. But as Jeffrey knows, it it becomes infinitely harder when the words aimed to discourage come from a loved one.
Now, Jeffrey has written a book guiding others on the ways to make the same break on their own self-employed dreams.
Check out Jeffrey's work at https://www.jeffreyshaw.com and https://theselfemployedlife.me.
In Part 2 of a look at the modern state of policing the United States, I welcome Anthony Shefferly, an active duty police officer.
I cannot imagine what the last year has been like for the men and women in law enforcement. As you’ll hear from Anthony, it’s been stressful, anxiety ridden, and at times, angering.
Conversations like this one with Anthony must happen more often. We must ask questions. We must listen and see the person in front of us for who and what they are individually and not as a caricature of a system we despise or as an unquestioned hero.
Like my conversation last week with Nick Laparra, a staunch abolish the police advocate, there is so much nuance that surfaces when questions replace accusations and when lived experiences replace opinions.
My guest this week is Nick Laparra, the host of the Let’s Give a Damn podcast.
Nick envisions a world where there are fewer walls, longer bridges, and bigger tables, and as you’ll hear, a churning curiosity within his soul drives this mission, even when — as he admits — it goes into some unhealthy places.
Nick and I discuss what it means to live an others-focused life, and we spend quite a bit of time talking about one topic he’s particularly passionate about: the modern state of policing in the United States.
Consider this episode Part 1 of a two-part series on this topic. Next week, you’ll hear my conversation with a police officer to get the law enforcement viewpoint.
Learn more about Nick at https://www.nicklaparra.com and follow his work on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/LetsGiveADamn.
Annie Auerbach is the co-founder of a branding agency based in London and author of the book Flex: Reinventing Work for a Smarter, Happier Life.
In her book and in this conversation, Annie makes the case that modern life is zapping us of our creativity — that rigidity in our jobs, our lives, our choices is consuming us, and we don’t have the bandwidth to be creative.
Add in the COVID-19 pandemic, and it is a sobering reminder that the way we work needs to and can change, and many are beginning to see that a more flexible work life is not only necessary, it is the future.
Learn more about Annie's work at https://starlingstrategy.co.uk, and connect with her on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/annie.auerbach.
My guest this week, Brian David Johnson, is a futurist. A technological futurist, to be more precise. He’s made a career out of creating a vision for a future state — for people, for companies — and then helping them build a path to get there.
He was the first futurist — yes, that was actually his job title — at Intel, and he’s currently a professor at Arizona State University’s Global Futures Laboratory and the School for the Future of Innovation in Society.
Brian is not some street magician, he can’t tell you the future, and he doesn’t have a crystal ball. In his book, The Future You, he provides a simple yet effective approach to actually articulating what you want your future to look like and how to get there, and to realize that far more is in your control than you might believe.
Connect with Brian on Twitter at https://twitter.com/BDJFuturist, and learn more about his work at https://threatcasting.asu.edu.
Leslie Ehm is on a mission to help you unleash your inner Swagger.
For years, Leslie has consulted with and coached executives at some of the world's biggest brands. And yet, she has found a lack of swagger — true Swagger — at nearly every turn.
But Leslie's definition of Swagger might be different than yours. It certainly was for me. But she has now written a book, Swagger: Unleash everything you are and become everything you want, to help us find its true meaning.
Check out Leslie's work at https://www.leslieehm.com, and get your Swagger Score at https://www.leslieehm.com/swaggertest. And get your copy of Leslie's book at https://www.leslieehm.com/book.
Carla Johnson is a storyteller trying to get companies and businesses to see that they, too, are storytellers. At least, the good ones are.
And while Carla primarily works with executives and marketers as they rethink and fine-tune their approach to potential customers, so much of the work she does has direct carrry-over into our everyday relationships.
Carla, who is the author of the book Re: Think Innovation, dives into how replacing our ego-driven desires with reflective self-awareness can completely change the narrative of how others see us.
Connect with Carla at https://www.carlajohnson.co.
Sign up for The Follow-Up newsletter at https://www.thefollowupquestion.com/newsletter.
Denise Woods is the "voice behind the voice" for some of the biggest names in acting, from Will Smith to Halle Berry to Idris Elba to Jessica Chastain.
As an internationally renowned vocal coach, Denise has dedicated her life to helping others find their true, authentic voice, not just in terms of how her subjects sound, but how they communicate their story through their voice.
In this conversation, Denise and I go deep into her perspective on how you and I are showing up in the world through our voice, what pain sounds like in the voice, and how we can best use our vocal instrument to communicate more powerfully at a time when it is needed most.
Connect with Denise at https://www.speakitclearly.com or on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/speakitclearly.
Dr. Robyne Hanley-Dafoe is an award-winning education and psychology instructor and resiliency expert and the author of the book, Calm Within the Storm: A Pathyway to Everyday Resiliency.
Where most of us view resiliency as a battle and a fight that we just have to "toughen out," Robyne approaches the topic from a place of trust, kindness, self-alignment, and balance.
Her belief that "I can do hard things" comes from her own experience in understanding how to be everyday resilient, and she's made her work that of helping others do the same.
Connect with Robyne and order her book at https://robynehd.ca.
Subscribe to my weekly newsletter, The Follow-Up, at https://www.thefollowupquestion.com/newsletter.
Jessica Holmes is a comedian, author, public speaker, and mental health advocate. She has opened for comedians like Jerry Seinfeld and Ellen DeGeneres and has performed at Second City.
As an author, Jessica wrote the book, Depression the Comedy, where she relays her own experience with depression, how she’s gotten better at managing the demands for her time and attention, and comedy’s place in dealing with sticky issues.
We discuss all this and more in this fun and insightful conversation.
Follow Jessica's work at https://www.jessicaholmes.com.
Sign up for The Follow-Up, my weekly newsletter, at https://www.thefollowupquestion.com/newsletter.
Denise Jacobs is a keynote speaker, an instructor at Stanford University, and the author of the book Banish Your Inner Critic.
In this conversation, Denise details where our inner critic comes from and the damage our faulty inner narrator does to our emotions and psyche. Denise explains how an inner critic can lead to self-sabotage, and how we can become more aware of the power of our words to help us feel more deserving and confident.
Connect with Denise on her website at https://denisejacobs.com, or on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/denisejacobs) or Twitter (https://twitter.com/denisejacobs).
Sign up for my weekly newsletter at https://www.thefollowupquestion.com/newsletter, and connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/thefollowupquestion) and Twitter (https://twitter.com/mda9449).
After President Joe Biden was inaugurated in January 2021, Ashley Vanderbilt didn't know what to believe. She had anticipated things going so much differently based on what she had been reading online, and she was scared.
Weeks later, Ashley now realizes the conspiracy of QAnon had grabbed hold of her and preyed on her deepest fears. And now that she's removed herself from those beliefs, she's figuring out how to move forward with a more discerning heart and mind.
Ashley and I explore all of this and more in this conversation.
CNN article: https://www.cnn.com/2021/02/03/tech/qanon-mom-former-believer/index.html
Jordan Harbinger episode on QAnon: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-jordan-harbinger-show/id1344999619?i=1000509645347
When you think of what it means to be manipulated, how does it make you feel? Usually pretty icky, right?
My guest this week, Christopher Hadnagy, describes the difference between manipulation and social engineering, and the key to whether or not it is a positive or negative thing lies in how the technique is used.
We also discuss empathy, and why it's not always the value-positive tactic we immediately associate it to be. Chris details how to use rapport-building, observation, and emotional influence to positively affect the world around us and get what we want out of relationships and interactions.
Connect with Chris on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/socialengineerllc.
Check out Chris' book, Human Hacking: Win friends, influence people, and leave them better off for having met you.
Sign up for The Follow-Up, my weekly newsletter, at https://www.thefollowupquestion.com/newsletter.
Do we truly understand emotional intelligence, or has it become a hollow buzzword?
That's the question I ask this week's guest, Stan Pearson. Stan is a keynote speaker, diversity coach, comedian, among many other titles and roles, and he has a heart for helping people explore their emotions, their desires, and their raw and messy feelings.
This is one of the most thought-provoking conversations I've ever had, and you won't want to miss it!
Connect with Stan on his website at https://www.stanpearson.com or at https://www.instagram.com/therealstanp.
Jen Poyant has built a storytelling career from behind the scenes.
She's worked in Public Radio, on popular podcasts like Note to Self and 2 Dope Queens, and now is the Executive Product for 10 Percent Happier's podcasts. She also previously founded her own production company, Stable Genius Productions.
Her perspective on storytelling, crafting a vision for what you want to say and how you want to say it, and how your intended audience might receive it, through the lens of a producer, is an interesting and relevant view on how we might approach our own stories and conversations.
Connect with Jen at https://twitter.com/jpoyant.
Subscribe to my weekly newsletter, which drops each Friday, by going to https://www.thefollowupquestion.com/newsletter.
This week I welcome to the show one of the most recognizable figures in news reporting today, ABC News Chief National Correspondent Matt Gutman.
Matt has been on the ground to report on some of the biggest events of our time in more than 40 countries, oftentimes in dangerous or scary situations.
He does it all with one goal in mind: to talk to people to tell their stories and experiences so that the rest of the world can understand the circumstances.
Connect with Matt on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/mattgutmanabc.
Subscribe to The Follow-Up newsletter, which drops every Friday, at https://www.thefollowupquestion.com/newsletter.
Alex Perry is a Speech Language Pathologist who for many years worked to help people who could not speak or had trouble speaking literally find their voices.
Now, as the founder of her company, Practically Speaking (https://pswithalex.com), Alex takes her experiences in speech pathology to help others speak and share their stories with confidence.
In our conversation, Alex and I discuss how to overcome fear of judgment and rejection and the feeling that you have nothing to say, especially when faced with conversations and situations that are a struggle for us.
Connect with Alex at https://www.instagram.com/pswithalex.
To subscribe to my Follow-Up Question newsletter, go to https://www.thefollowupquestion.com/newsletter.
In this solo episode, I bring you my thoughts on the value and importance of waiting, and how pausing before we speak makes us more mature and more human.
My guest this week, Drew Davis, helps me answer the questions: Do we have a curiosity problem as a society, and do we overcomplicate communication?
Drew is a bestselling author and keynote speaker. He's built and sold a digital marketing agency, produced for NBC and worked for The Muppets, and is a transformational figure when it comes to communication, marketing, and making a message resonate.
Check out Drew's work at www.akadrewdavis.com.
Not long ago, Daniel Thompson was an editor at The Kenosha Times, and in the days following the shooting of Jacob Blake by a Kenosha police officer, Daniel was there to witness the unrest in Kenosha, which most of us saw in short clips on the news and social media.
After a peaceful rally organized by the Blake family to call for justice, The Kenosha Times ran a story online covering the rally with a headline highlighting one speaker’s comments in particular: 'If you kill one of us, it’s time for us to kill one of yours.'
Daniel had attended the rally, and when he saw the headline, he resigned. You’ll hear why in our discussion.
Follow Daniel's work at The Uptown Observer as a crowd-funded independent reporter at https://www.facebook.com/theuptownobserver or on Twitter at https://twitter.com/olfashionednews.
Neil Matthews is the host of the Other People's Shoes podcast, a show he created to open up a dialogue and have more conversations about what it means to practice empathy and see a situation from some else's perspective. And when combined with Neil's love of shoes, it makes total sense!
For Neil, the heart of so much of what ails our society these days comes down to his belief that we've put more value in being right than in being human.
Connect with Neil and listen to his show at https://www.opspodcast.com. Follow his show on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/opspodcastshow.
Today's guest is Chelsea Ursin, the host of the Dear Young Rocker podcast.
Dear Young Rocker is Chelsea’s audio memoir of what it was like to grow up with social anxiety as a teenager just looking to fit in and be cool. In DYR, She details her life experiences from middle school through college, and how finding the bass guitar and music helped her find the artist within herself.
Chelsea and I explore the world of the teenage mind that none of us should forget, and what she has planned for her show as she looks to help others share their own stories.
Connect with Chelsea and her work at https://www.dearyoungrocker.com and on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/dearyoungrocker. You can listen to her band's music at https://bananama.bandcamp.com.
This week's guest, Greg Hill, is the host of the Minority Trailblazer podcast, where he interviews successful minorities in a variety of fields to educate, empower, and inspire current and future generations of leaders.
He's also an author, an entrepreneur, a speaker, and a community organizer.
In our conversation, Greg dives into why real change happens at the community level with the people you have individual relationships with, and how treating humans with respect and honor, being a man or woman of your word, and being around opinions that are different from yours are the most important things.
Connect with Greg at https://gregehill.com, at http://minoritytrailblazer.com, or at https://www.instagram.com/gregehill.
Dr. Liane Davey is known as the "teamwork doctor." She's a seasoned public speaker and the author of a couple of books, including “The Good Fight: Use Productive Conflict to Get Your Team and Organization Back on Track."
I came across her when I found this quote of hers on LinkedIn: "The next time you’re tempted to dispute someone’s facts, save your breath. Instead, get beneath the facts by asking questions to expose what they feel and what they believe. Facts won’t solve fights.”
Liane and I dive into how to seek out and participate in healthy conflict in all aspects of our lives. This is one of the most enjoyable interviews I’ve ever done packed with practical advice for everyone.
Connect with Liane at https://www.lianedavey.com.
This week's guest, Robin Dreeke, is the former head of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Program.
In his past role with the FBI, Robin strategized engagements and exchanges of resources with people who could offer the United States government valuable information — in short, he recruited spies.
Robin and I of course dive right into the subject of what goes into recruiting an agent from a foreign government to flip, and we discuss how you don’t have to be recruiting spies to get value from Robin’s approach and technique in everyday life.
We also cover his coined term, "stempathy," as well as how our intuition is biased and Robin's 6 signs for sizing people up.
Connect with Robin at https://peopleformula.com. He’s also offering listeners of The Follow-Up Question a 25% discount on his online courses when you go to https://www.peopleformula.com/online-training and enter the code Questions2020.
This week is a solo episode in which I give my perspective and thoughts on where we go from here as a country and as a people?
Listen to the end, where I've got four questions, plus a special fifth bonus question, to ask yourself this week.
As the United States enters quite possibly its most tumultuous presidential election ever, I welcome hacker-for-good and election interference expert Harri Hursti to the show this week for a quick-hitting download on what to expect in the coming days and weeks.
Among many other topics surrounding this year's election, I point-blank ask Harri: Is there any reason to believe the results of the election will be illegitimate. Listen for Harri's answer, plus so much more wisdom and insight.
For a full transcript of this interview, go to www.thefollowupquestion.com/episodes/ep-16-harri-hursti-ask-is-it-true-even-when-you-like-the-message.
Follow Harri at https://twitter.com/harrihursti.
I welcome one of my favorite authors, John Eldredge, to the show this week to discuss a Christian's place in the world today.
John, who is also a therapist, has written some of the most influential books on Christian life, manhood, and Jesus, and much of our conversation centers on how to respond to the challenges and sense of hopelessness that so many are feeling these days.
Check out John's work at https://www.wildatheart.org.
At the time of recording this interview, Jakk Gerard had worked out more than 1,100 days in a row. Even through COVID-19 shutdowns and quarantines, Jakk kept his remarkable workout streak intact.
But for as remarkable as his exercise regimen has become, it is the story of perseverance and overcoming difficult life circumstances — from the death of his father to nearly taking his own life — that make Jakk's story truly inspiring.
Connect with Jakk at https://instagram.com/jakk.gerard.
Summarizing the scope of who Jonathan Ronzio is and what he has experienced is no small feat.
He's the Chief Marketing Officer and Co-Founder of a startup called Trainual, he's the host of the Stokecast, he's a filmmaker, a musician and songwriter, and an adventurer.
He's lived a life marked by instances where he bucked conventional wisdom and thinking and instead set out to tell a different narrative about life, and the result is a pretty fantastic journey up to this point.
Check out Jonathan's work with Trainual at https://trainual.com. Listen to the Stokecast at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-stokecast/id1402764168?l=es. Connect with him at https://twitter.com/jonathanronzio and https://instagram.com/jonathanronzio. Listen to Jonathan's music at https://open.spotify.com/artist/2D8X4ClODCDXtnVX8vTFBn.
My guest this week is entrepreneur Michael Chernow, who came up through the restaurant industry in New York City and now has his sights set on the fitness and wellness space.
Michael and I discuss his career, his daily habits, his podcast "Born or Made," and why he is insanely optimistic.
Connect with Michael at https://instagram.com/michaelchernow.
Wendy Behary, author of the book Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed, joins the show this week to dive into her practice and research in how to deal with the people around us whose inflated view of their place in the world leaves a wake of destruction and chaos.
Wendy Behary is the founder and Director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC. She has been training professionals and supervising psychotherapists for more than twenty years.
Connect with Wendy on her website at https://disarmingthenarcissist.com or on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/wendy-behary-269a8a16. Check out her book at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DMJ768K.
Have you ever considered what the words you write on a piece of paper tell others about your story, your life, your thoughts and feelings?
My guest today specializes in exactly that. Teresa Abram is a graphologist studying a person's handwriting to assess their character, attitude, and experiences.
Each person's handwriting style is as unique and distinct as their fingerprint, and its fascinating to hear what all we can learn from just a few pen strokes.
Connect with Teresa on her website at https://www.handwritingpi.ca or on Instagram at https://instagram.com/handwriting_pi.
Rebecca Fleetwood Hession is the CEO and Founder of We Thrive (https://wethrive.live/) and the host of the Badass Womens Council podcast.
She's a business consultant helping women entrepreneurs and leaders grow and thrive in their roles, and she does it all with a message of being true to your authentic self and understanding that community, realness, and curiosity are the keys to success.
Rebecca shares her thoughts on education, parenting, and being human in business in today's conversation, which is full of laughs and honest, bold advice.
Check out Rebecca's podcast at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-badass-womens-council/id1416361738.
Connect with Rebecca at https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebeccafleetwoodhession/.
This week's conversation with Jay Acunzo, founder of Marketing Showrunners and author of Break the Wheel, is one of my favorite interviews I've done to date.
I got goosebumps when he says that it is healthier to say "I have questions" than it is to say "I have answers."
Jay is as passionate about the art of storytelling and bucking perceived best practices as anyone I've come across, and he's dedicated his work to uncovering people and companies who do the same.
Connect with Jay at https://twitter.com/jayacunzo and https://www.instagram.com/jacunzo.
Jeremy Ryan Slate is the founder of the Create Your Own Life Podcast, a show to help people create life on their own terms.
At the age of 19, Jeremy had a near-death experience as a routine surgery led him to receive last rites from a priest. He recovered and graduated with his masters degree into one of the worst job markets in history. When he finally landed his “dream job” as a teacher, he realized it was not what he wanted to be doing with his life. That's when the Create Your Own Life Podcast was born.
On the Create Your Own Life Podcast, Jeremy has interviewed people like Danica Patrick, Seth Godin, Tucker Max and Robert Greene. Jeremy and his wife, Brielle Slate, founded Command Your Brand Media to help entrepreneurs hone their message and impact thousands with the power of storytelling.
Connect with Jeremy at https://twitter.com/jeremyryanslate or at https://www.jeremyryanslate.com/.
Jordan Harbinger is one of the most well-known podcasters in the world, with one of the most listened-to shows, The Jordan Harbinger Show.
He's been podcasting and doing interviews for more than 13 years, and over that time, he's interviews some of the biggest names in culture, as well as authors, scientists, researchers, and experts in hundreds of fields of study.
In this episode, Jordan and I talk about the ins and outs of interviewing others to seek the truth and not simply validation of an unfounded opinion, as well as the amount of research he puts into his interviews.
Connect with Jordan at https://www.jordanharbinger.com/.
Back in college at Kansas State when I first changed my major from civil engineering to mass communications and journalism, I wanted to work for today's guest, Tim Fitzgerald.
Tim operates the website, GoPowercat.com, and at the time he published a K-State sports magazine, Powercat Illustrated. I approached Tim to see if I could work for him, and he gave me advice that ultimately made me a much better writer. And eventually, I did end up working for Tim.
Tim is a veteran journalist who has seen the industry go through incredible change in the last couple of decades, and he shared his insight and experience here on the show. Tim is also battling Stage 4 prostate cancer.
It was so good to catch up with Tim and hear how he's doing.
Follow Tim on Twitter at https://twitter.com/LifeofFitz.
Lindsay Tjepkema is the CEO and Co-Founder of Casted (https://casted.us/), a B2B podcasting platform. Getting Casted off and running is a bit of a unique story since Lindsay rose through the marketing ranks to become CEO rather than through the more traditional sales or operations routes.
Lindsay's perspective is further heightened since she is a female CEO in the male-dominated B2B tech space, and understanding her experience is a critical viewpoint that needs to be heard.
She's obviously a true believer in the power of podcasts, and as you'll hear, asking great questions. And it starts with always asking "Who is it for?" and "Why are you doing it?" for every action you take.
Connect with Lindsay on Twitter at https://twitter.com/castedlindsay.
Jesse Newell is an award-winning sports writer as the University of Kansas athletics beat writer for the Kansas City Star and a former colleague of mine when he and I first got our start in journalism out of college at The Emporia Gazette in Emporia, Kan.
Jesse is one of the best writers and storytellers I've ever met, and as a sports writer during a pandemic when no sports were happening, I was interested in hearing from him how he's finding new stories to tell.
What has always stuck with me about Jesse was his ability to connect with his interview subjects in such a way that they opened up to him with very personal and touching stories. And as you'll hear Jesse describe, it all goes back to being naturally curious.
Connect with Jesse on Twitter at https://twitter.com/jessenewell.
In 2005, Dr. Kimetris Baltrip was named the student newspaper faculty advisor at Kansas State University amid a firestorm.
A year prior, the Kansas State Collegian's former advisor, Ron Johnson, had been dismissed from his position. School administrators said Johnson was removed because of a decline in the overall quality of the newspaper. Student editors believed it was because the school was trying to control the content of the newspaper — a first amendment violation — after complaints arose from minority groups across campus accusing the paper of a lack of coverage.
From Day 1, Dr. Baltrip, the student newspaper's first female racial minority advisor, faced headwinds and at times outright racism. A former copy editor at The New York Times, Baltrip brought a love of journalism and reporting to Kansas State only to be embroiled in an on-campus tug-of-war.
Some groups saw her as a figurehead hire and a threat to students' first amendment rights, while others saw her as their chance to control the student newspaper's content.
Several years after leaving Kansas State, Baltrip details the 13 years she spent at the university and the hardships she endured, as well as the accomplishments she achieved.
Read more:
- https://splc.org/2007/07/10th-circuit-rules-in-kansas-state-adviser-dismissal-case/
- https://www.kstatecollegian.com/2009/08/27/cma-removes-collegians-censure-for-controversial-firing/
- https://www.k-state.edu/today/announcement/?id=28432
Welcome to The Follow-Up Question, with your host, Michael Ashford, a former journalist and veteran podcaster setting out to uncover amazing stories simply by asking questions. Each show's aim will be to not only bring you insightful interviews with people from all different backgrounds and perspectives, but to also help you become a better listener and question-asker.