The Colonel Radioshow: Recent Episodes
George Dudley Josh Tobin
Colonel Crabtree-Smythe breaks his silence for the first time in over twenty years. In these weekly comedy radio interviews with Sage McCorkadale he discusses his involvement in some of the most interesting and bizarre events in history.
What's behind the curtain? Rupert Murdoch, Alan Sugar, Buck Rogers, Rat pies and Foreskins
Lurking Left-wing Scrumpers, Cliff's humiliating first summer holiday, accidental cock squeezing, ripping down the wallpaper and finding hammers up the harris
In bed with Aleister Crowley... clacking clackers... leathery balls... stem cell testing on Dickie Davis...
Dogs and dark forces... Westminster peadophiles... Pills, thrills and Leon Brittan's lapels
Haggis mocking and Scottish Stockholm syndrome, Cameron's Savile Row sentinels... plus Ronnie and Reggie Kray discuss periphery touching
Ballooning with Stephen Fry, digging holes with Omar Sharif, showering with Nigel Farage, beheading with the Borgias and much, much more
Pickled testicles, wastes of spaces, Holly Willoughby, exposed flesh, Andy Warhol, breakdancing and avoiding the madness
The sartorial shortcomings of Hare Krishna. Taking a fence with Warwick Davis and Kenny Baker, going on about Star Wars and the Krays cutting up Eastenders
The Colonel and Sage return with Heather Mills' missing leg, Farage, Judo, sexual malformities, one finger techniques, kippers, the late Bob Hoskins and Moses
The secret crimes of David Hasselhoff, health and safety tips for Neil Young, the shady history of David Cameron's ancestors and the Colonel's bladder problems
The Colonel, Sage and Ronnie return with the first new episode of 2014 - metaphoric kipper ties, Showaddywaddy, the true story of the Titanic and Sage's disreputable mother all on the table of discussion today
The Colonel, Sage and Ronnie mull over the issues of the day including Broadmoor games with Peter Sutcliffe, wrestling with Richard Harris and weapons of mass destruction
The colonel and Sage discuss the working classes, leaky Tories, World War buggery and the insightful proclamations of the cook Jamie Oliver
The Colonel and Sage return with the Loon Goon in the studio - an Irish revolutionary who witnessed Theresa May boiling immigrant children cackling with a salivating Eric Pickles sat at the table waiting for his din dins
The strange disappearance of the Colonel's wife, The Parker pen thermometer, The Red Baron and tight pockets
Wow, the Colonel and Sage return, Scottish bottoms, David Icke and Wogan's elbows, burning Volkswagens, padeophile Priests and Roger Whittaker
Etheral nature of existence, teddy boys, powdered milk, fish farming, mud men and also some spunk
Zionists, cockney mars bars, limericks and guess the smell with The King of the Bohemians - Iron Foot Jack
Lonnie Donegan's baton, chocolatiering fat bastards, strange DIY, Litvinenko and the Scientologists, what happens under the arches in Vauxhall...
Getting rid of prostitutes, necrophilia, Barack Obama, General Custer, Robbie Williams and much much more
New episode with the Colonel, Sage and the team... Turkish baths, Jimmy Savile Row, Thatcher's sweet shop and Nobby the fisherman
Colonel and Sage discuss the burning issues of the day including James Bond, Royal tits, compassionate robocops, brain draining and the grab, the grab
The Colonel and Sage are back back back with a new series... itchy bottoms... Boris the cyclist... Lord Coe... but is it art?
Last in the series... What happened to Prince Philip's testicles during the Jubilee?... The Colonel gets in trouble with the Royals...
Thumbs up with the Fonz, Louis Walsh and sexual health, Pam Ayres, gay ebay, boiling piss, colour, light and stabbing in the dark
Party time for Sage and the Colonel... Doing business with dwarves, Brando's favourite biscuits and Ron shifts a paradigm with a knife.
Episode 149 with Sage and the Colonel - How do you do what you do to me? Suck it and see!
Swinging England, Brian Jones and the otherlightweights, David Walliams in the Thames, redheads and the Royals, Cheggers in the trenches
Men together in the Poplar Vapour Rooms... Pressing trousers... Lord Lucan... glory holes... the Colonel's outrageous plan on how to keep the Falklands safe... all finished off with some toilet trouble
Crabtree and Sage return with a new series! A journey into the darkness... Georgie Fame, Water Buffalo, homeless people, Rita Marley, ginormous erections, the Hallal pill crusade
Who is the Colonel's famous long lost great grandchild? Are Terry's better than Dirk's? What did Crabtree do to Mrs Haversham? Last in the series
Psychedelic exploring... up the Amazon in a dress... coming serpents... Claire Sweeney salivating in Jack boots... on being Anne Frank one evening 1945, with just her sister at her side... the horror! the horror!
Festive fun with the Colonel's Christmas Special - Ebony and Ivory all in it together... doing it for the kids
The Colonel recounts time spent with Aleister Crowley. The dark arts, ducks, leather pants, Mike Yarwood and other satantic stuff and nonsense
We discover various high profile 'indiscretions' by the Colonel that links him with some of the most historical assissinationsof the 20th Century. In addition, a Scotsman is unfortunate.
Twisting with Sage and the Colonel... The despicably evil plan of the great inventor Otis Van Strapon, involving Miranda Hart and falling over. The Chinese, Stacia Blake and Liptons Tea??
Rantsville - Archbishops, big society, the French, David Cameron the shit... the Colonel gets a bit wound up with them all
Who are we? Blaming the wife, getting conned by the YMCA, Ku Klux Klan, inspecting hard drives and fisticuffs with the Angel Gabriel
New Series! Sleeping with mothers. Standing and delivering. Anyone for tennis, diving or pool? And getting throttled by the Krays
I predict a riot... Series special with the Colonel, Ronnie Kray and the rest. Arse, skinheads, flagpoles, riots and looting gobstoppers. How to get a job at the BBC and how to hire a chimney sweep. At the end of the day, give them six of the best and have a cup of tea.
The Madame Tassaud’s Scandal, the Colonel’s role in the killing of Osama Bin Laden… what really goes on in the Playboy mansion. The joy of auto asphyxiation. How to make porridge… and how Ted Rogers helped out Al Qaeda
Hello Sailor! Been caught stealing... Compromising photographs of Prince Philip... did she jump or was she pushed? Getting it out in the open... Last in the series
Starting from the bottom up with Ronald McDonald... who killed Victor Hugo? Sexual harassement in the trenches
The buggerer's buggerer, the trench wench, Ken Dodd's feather duster, Dr Who is compromised, dealing with the youth and being unkind to Israelis and who the hell's Max Miller?
The metaphysical power of the Aztec sausage, Charlie Sheen's strategy for Libya, the confusion over the Karate Kid, Brian Cox and Opera
Is wikileaks a smokescreen for a bigger stink? Is Prince Philip a deviant? Where is the clown with the bulge in his trousers?
The Twin Towers conspiracy, hijra, Rogered Milliband and tightening nuts, all in a day's work for Crabtree and Sage
Sage is joined by both the Colonel and Ronnie... they discuss Bolshevism, hurting rabbits and Sting and William Hague's plan to steal from old people
Richard Keys and Andy Gray, man on man affection, all you ever wanted to know about corned beef and freeze dried haemeroids
The Colonel returns with series 13. Peace in our time, paying for sex, double headed spying... the first goon show, shitting in holes
Stealing from Sainburys and blinding the Police. Hitting people with guitars, pissing blood and hypnotising Court Judges... all in a days work for the Colonel.
Who will best survive in a post-apocalyptic world? Sage or Crabtree? And which one will end up starving to death in Wales? Which of the oldies has the best sperm to re-populate the new world? Rubbing sticks, collecting mushrooms and Danny La Rue are all discussed as Sage and the Colonel discuss their prospects after armageddon.
Ronnie and Reggie Kray return from the grave discuss their future plans, which include pickling and Boris Karloff. Also, a message from Alvin Lindwall who discusses breathing in Hitler dust, cannibalism and why it’s all God’s fault.
Get into the Christmas spirit with the Colonel, Sage, Ron and the rest of the team. The studio is filled with love as they discuss the Colonel's failed suicide bombing Son. Also, is the Colonel the real father of David Cameron's children?
To poke or to blow up? The Vanstrapulater, sneaking into Heaven through the back door, Hitler or Gandhi?... Last in this series.
The pulsating movements of Louie Spence... The Colonel launches an appeal for the victims of the recent great floods in Kingston Upon Thames... find out what did Ronnie Kray do to Duncan Bannatyne... Don't listen to this whilst eating...
Does the original version of the last supper prove that Jesus was either Australian or gay? What was Satan so upset about? Where did Michael Jackson put his finger?
The Colonel airs his controversial views on Olympic training, religionist's views on punishing limp wristers, how to achieve a distinctive swagger with the 'walnut trick' and does God wear a wig?
A Frenchman on the run, banning Gurkhas, pumping children full of Jesus, phone sex with Bishops and Boris and his Johnson
The sorry tale of Tiddler Terry, sat in a tree... also... Dawn Clench... Vince Cable's Hitler moustache and why Mugabe demands respect
Boxing with Denis Healey, farting with Evelyn Waugh and wanking with Edith Piaf... all in a days work for the Colonel
Cat Stevens, split anuses, poor people and sausages, problems with permanent erections, how to make a slush puppy
Problems with Philip Schofield's poppers, Piers Morgan runs a Mosque, the English Defence League has tourettes... Roger Agogo goes mad
The Colonel returns with a new series... Secret lemonade drinking, The Duke of Wellington, hanging around lavatories, bloody Boris's pushbikes, trouble on the buses
Walking on the wild side with Danny La Rue, stalking Jennifer Aniston with Dr. Legg, trespassing with Wayne Rooney and kiddy fiddling with the Pope... all in a day's work for the Colonel
Before the new series begins, Ronnie and Reggie Kray enjoy a reunion. They discuss what a rubbish decorator Jackson Pollock was, cafes, Star Trek and Ron’s sexual preferences.
A drunken Colonel witters about taking drugs with the Royal family, his plan to take back India for the Empire and putting chilli peppers up the Kyber pass. There is a delightful summer song about self love and then the Colonel spews all over himself.
The Knob Brothers, the very aged rockers, are in the studio discussing their days in the music industry... old novelty records, Joe Meek, groupies, the management style of the Colonel and the size of their knobs
Sage’s attempt at a cultural film review has mixed results as Jock Spalding is invited to the studio to discuss Herzog’s Fitzcarraldo and Tarkovsky’s Stalker… then he gets his knob out and things take a turn for the worse.
Marmite bagels, naughty Jews, limp wristed German sheep, the location of Lord Lucan and golden kangeroo balls... the chaos continues in the last in this series... special episode next week!
Can Sue Pollard do the splits? Who does Sting think he is? What do Mossad want with Shane Ritchie? Are the Colonel's social policies too extreme? These and many other questions will be partially answered at best in this weeks episode... you can probably answer that last question yourselves to be honest.
The beautifully retarded Cheryl Cole and a case of mistaken identity involving Geri Halliwell and Fanshaw Candelabra... for the second week in a row - no one gets 'cut'
Truman Capote, Mick McCarthy, Fanshaw Candelabra and Ronnie Kray all join the Colonel and Sage in the studio this week, luckily, no one gets 'cut'
The Colonel recalls how he accidently started the Iraq War when inspecting Saddam's bunker... also - carving up Arabia and killing Jeremy Paxman
Flashing at the Chilton enquiry, Bill Gates killing Germans, Peter Tatchell's soft spots, defending Quinten Crisp, offending the Irish
A lonely little man from Clapham... Oliver fist... loosing sense of reality... talking sex and celibacy... shooting Italians in the backside... The naked flesh of Jane Fonda
Hermaphrodites are on the table this week as the Colonel reveals his lost love. Lady Gaga, Tarkovsky and codpieces are also on the agenda
Martin Luther King, Transvestite whales, teenage pregnancy and why not to suck on used tampons
Fisters, twisters and lispers... The Colonel reviews the Knob Brothers new songs... bad language and questionable comments are unleashed
Prior to the new series of the Colonel's radioshow, we present the Colonel's Election Special - the Colonel outlines his policies and expresses exactly how he feels about Cameron, Clegg and Browntrousers
Before a new series of the Colonel Radioshow kicks off we have the Knob Brothers memoirs... including Curdled custard, dirty books, dirty girls, quantum physics and Joe Meek the f**ker
Getting to the knob of the matter with Peter Sellers and his rubber nose, Lionel Ritchie and his penis, the Pope and his arse and Michael Jackson and his puppets... Last in the current series
Havoc in the studio, Mick McCarthy get cut, Jacques Kallis gets cut... there's talk of abusing Barry Manilow and the Colonel accusses Sage of professional jealousy
Should we grab Lord Mandelson around the neck, strangle the life out of him and feed him to vegetarians? Should we worry about Communists, Fascists and the Alabama 3?
A poetry reading descends into farce when the Colonel accuses Derek Pringle of raping Sage... The Colonel dissects the Bible and concludes that it is all bollocks.
What happened when the Colonel is invited to a Tuscan orgy by Sting and Trudie Styler and the strange case of Gary Linekar and a bag of salt 'n' shake
Leg touching in the cinema, Johnny Lydon the hypocrite, remarkably dressed Muslims, the Colonel outlines his immigration policies.
The Colonel delivers his Christmas message to the Nation. Ronnie Kray accidentally spoils Christmas and then he spoils it again (by accident).
Tea bagging with The Queen Mum, pogoing with Prince Philip and the Colonel's special Christmas 'Peace' Mission to Afghanistan... next Thursday the Colonel delivers his Christmas message
Fisting with the Pet Shop Boys, Ronnie's naughty tailer, a dead foot on the shoulder and re-cycling with Ronnie
Reggie and Ronnie oven gloves... A new Ronnie scam involving young boys selling household goods door to door... someone is going to get cut. Anybody want some Staminol?
Series 10 begins with Ronnie Kray... more tax avoidance ideas with the story of Philip Jenkins - Inland Revenue 'employee of the month' who ended up with a leek sticking out of his bottom.
Using Michael Jackson's nose, the abuse of Adrian Chiles and what did Cliff Richard rub into the bottoms of the Knob Brothers?
Corrected mp3 link from previous!... sorry old chaps... The perils of rubbing Algipan on your Johnson... The Colonel introduces The Knob Brothers... tan chords and slip on shoes...the milking of Mark Lester
Welcome back Colonel!... Rosa Parks sat down so that Martin Luther King could walk, Martin Luther King walked so that Barack Obama could run, Barack Obama ran so that our children could fly like R Kelly... Are all the problems over now we have a black man in the White House? Last in the current series
Final episode with Ronnie - including more tales of his protection racket in Purgatory with Ghandi, Frank Sinatra, Francis Bacon, Millets and Jesus... Ronnie finally gets his money. the Colonel returns from his tour of the USA next week!
The Krays plan their return to Earth by kidnapping Jesus, sticking him in the cupboard with Ghandi and blackmailing God... they plan to take over the bodies of the Kemp Bros.... failing that Ant and Dec... failing that, the Chuckle Brothers.
Ronnie Kray is still back from the dead, revealing more of his adventures in purgatory... shooting Jesus... nicking the head of John the Baptist and admiring the Prophet Mohammed's large sword...
Madness in the studio as the spirit of Ronnie Kray continues to control the body of medium Josie VanStrapon... Ronnie continues his tales from purgatory, explaining his extortion racket on the River Styx, why he had to 'cut' the Charon and why he had to threaten God
Spooky... The spirit of Ronnie Kray is summoned during a live seance with Sage. Ronnie's constant threats to 'cut' Sage are interspersed with frightening tales including the sewing up of Cliff Richard's Anus and Gandhi's sexual prowess in the afterlife.
The Colonel is on tour in the US so Mick McCarthy visits the studio. Sage struggles with this high tempered 'mans man' with his kipper tie obsession. Discussions include his fallout with Roy Keano, Mick's mother, River dance training and (of course) kipper ties as a force for good.
Religion, tickling Gerry Halliwell's trout and corrupting East End tailors... The Colonel is off on tour in the Americas or is it Russia so Sage and Crabtree have a goodbye sing song. Finally, we listen to a recording of Ronnie Kray from Broadmoor who dedicates a poem to the Colonel.
Tales from the old East End as the Colonel recalls his nightclub days with the Kray Twins, Sid James and Barbara Windsor including the astounding tale of dead men in shoulder pads. Also on the table - nipple tweaking, Chelsea Pensioners and darts
It's be kind to Featherlite week... The Colonel is convinced Billy Connolly has become a priest and he recalls his curious visit to Ronnie Kray's flat... featuring Charles Hawtrey and man on man action
Mick McBloody McCarthy makes a guest appearance on the show. Lawrence Olivier shooting ping pong balls from his back passage and Bald patches in the pubic area
Candyfloss, cheesecake and orgies - the Colonel's vision of Utopia unveiled. Cherie Blair gets a tongue lashing and entertaining fuckwits
More preposterous tales as the Colonel continues his investigations into the Pubic placements... Keith Chegwin, Ben Affleck, Boris Johnson and J-Lo's knickers are all implicated
Tales of strange goings on at the Beeb and Channel 4 with deliberate pubic placements being left in toilets. Who is Pubus Errectus, the creature that haunts the Colonel's dreams? What horrified June Whitfield in the canteen and what links Davina McCall, James Nesbitt, Noel Edmunds and the Krays twins?
Before Series 9 starts we have some candid conversations: Sarah Jessica Parker and large proboscises, Yosser Hughes, Andy Peters and finally - what highbrow discussion would be complete without mentioning rimming
Who's the better dictator - Robert Mugabe, Idi Amin or Simon Cowell? Does God get angry when the Colonel masterbates? The story of Viceroy Vickers.
The Colonel (antagonist extraordinaire) is at it again with an eclectic range of topics - pouring petrol on George Clooney, mocking the luck of the Irish, playing Fagin and a very odd story about Demis Roussos
Was Hitler visited by the Angel Gabriel? Is China a piss soaked tramp? Why are hairy idiots allowed on TV? And will the Colonel ever get to discuss his time as a driver for Ronnie Kray?
Which Prime Minister enjoys teabagging whilst whistling? What is stamp licking? Who forages on Wimbledon Common like a perverted Womble? Why is stabbing so in vogue and who can we blame? All these pastimes of the good and great are discussed by the Colonel and Sage in this episode
The Colonel returns with more dirt and libellous accusations involving Lenny Henry, eating ice cream with Robert Mugabe, chicks with dicks or blokes with tits, necrophilia with the illuminati and more talk of bottoms
Special holiday episode... Sage and his shorts are off to Bangkok for a couple of weeks 'relaxation'and The Colonel cannot be left alone so the show will return in two weeks... meantime, here's a short chat about French letters, Ronnie Kray, a cure for 'gay', golfing and (of course) fisting
Did Alicia, dressed as Grace Jones, hit Russell Harty on the Lily Allen show? Why is Jeremy Clarkson upset with Michael Jackson? Is Vernon Kay the future? Where is the clitoris? Find the answers to these burning questions in the latest episode of the Colonel Radioshow
Who the hell is Cherie Blair? Sage gets dunked in the canal and gets his mohair shorts wet. Scope darts, the Cornish dialect and the aristocrats
Assinating Ewan Mcgregor, Easy Rider sabotage with Dennis Hopper, Nelson Mandela collaboration with the Prodigy, Prince Albert cock ring retrieval device and why the Colonel is unlikey to get a knighthood
Derek Pringle's poetry corner, turkish baths, Geldof's goat children, Sergio Crease the Scope Hero and the dislike of bendiness. Also; the strange case of the clone of Ian Hislop... or is it a surgically enhanced Robert Maxwell?
Illusion and nonsense from the Colonel: Killer puppies, insulting Chris Martin, the fine line between Gandhi and Hitler, insulting Islam extremists and also the Colonel tells some jokes
Shitting in ditches with Henry Kissinger, tents for the homeless and other preposterious tales from the Colonel and company
Who is the mysterious Robert Trouser? Was there a conspiracy to convince the world that Lady Diana was attractive? Who has Paul Gascoigne in a headlock and who are Stephane and the Kiddiewinkers?
Gary Glitter's possible clone, prophetic testicals, flirting with featherlight and Margaret Thatcher are all topics in this chaotic episode
Series 8 begins with talk of a room full of young men, medieval buggery, fatwa inducing claptrap and Boris Johnson on his Raleigh racer
A Happy New Year message from the Colonel with Ronnie Kray, Mick McCarthy and idiots from TV
Homemade condoms, Helen Mirren in Caligula, Harold McMillan exposed, Gin Lane, Crack Alley and obesity as an infectious disease
Bankers, wankers and Bono... the Colonel says something stupid about Right Wing Conspiracy Theories about the London Bendy Bus
I love cheese, Roy Castle and the smoking ban, Sven the Swede, getting high with Russell Harty... Tom Cruise the fanny plunger, sharing a cell with Jeffrey Archer
Is the late Robert Maxwell really Ian Hislop? Is the real Ian Hislop going to be fed to the Illuminati? Is Rick Waller Ronald McDonald?
New series begins with a short introduction and message of hope from The Colonel and Sage!
The Colonel attacks! Surprise reprise: Last in series 6 - Corporate semen and clandestine cannalbalism with beefy's bouncy burgers
A turd in a box is still a turd in a box... force feeding poor people crap food with the humourist Gordon Brown... plus Sage and the Colonel sing the Beatles
Did the Colonel start the Second World War? Did the Colonel steal the World Cup? Does the Colonel believe in God? All this plus the wonderful Heather Mills clearing landmines.
How Jimmy Hill was responsible for the break up between Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. Also; the mystery of Princess Di's third son and the corrupt Chin Society, whos members include Jennifer Aniston, Bruce Forsyth, and their plot to take over the world.
Stephen Hawkins and Davros the traffic wardens, signed Royal prostates on ebay and torturing Vernon Kay.
Peeling testicles, money, power, fame and unprotected bottle sex, Bono and retards on tv
The Colonel is in love and is naked. Topics on the table today include inciting riots, berzerking on buses and the unfortunate display of Mrs. Webb's gash
The strange case of the disappearance of Brian May. Starring Steve Irwin, Hugh Hucknall, David Furnish as a Royal Corgi and Ben Affleck. Guest starring George Michael
The Colonel's great vision of The Vernon Kay Puppet Show will alas never come to be due to the passing on of Jeremy Beadle. How Robert Maxwell never learnt to swim and why the real Ian Hislop is incarcerated at the North Pole. All of this and much less more in the first of the new series of the Colonel's dubious memoirs
Who is the Bum Bandit of Westminster Bridge? The Colonel interviews his brother to get to the bottom of this disturbing saga.
Weekly comedy podcasts from Colonel Crabtree Smythe... preposterous tales involving the famous, infamous and imaginary.
Weekly comedy podcasts from Colonel Crabtree Smythe... preposterous tales involving the famous, infamous and imaginary.
Ron Hubbard and the hollywood cults are on the agenda today... dancing naked, selling your soul to the corporate 'man'
The Colonel explains his mad visions for profiteering from the melting icecaps... Who stole Kevin Costner's tights? Lesbian sex fests at Wimbledon and how the Colonel contributed to the downfall of Tony Blair
The Colonel's been reading the Daily Mail again and talks of sexual thrusting, fear of flowery types and the odd bit of prodding. He also recalls his African adventures and the time he was molested by a High ranking Nazi.
Ninja tricks, Sergio escapes, ballet dancing and the tale of Heather McCartney's missing leg.
Chaotic scenes ensue as the studio is invaded...The Colonel explains why Hitler embarked on his campaign of mass genocide... Extreme method acting...Offers of amputation and Ian Hislop.
Amused to the point of disgust. The Colonel's feud with Stephen Hawkins continues and explains his plans to send Hawkins and Phil Spector into space.
A sniper tries to take out the Colonel, Chic Sikhs, Chris Martin, Frank Lampard's thumbs and why we allow the Scottish to play tennis
The Colonel returns... Sage is sporting shorts and Crabtree is in silk... What exactly is the relationship between Dale Winton and the President of Iran? Also this week... beating and whipping, celebrity chefs, Mr. Blobby, fat people and fondling
No Colonel this week: Instead we have this special Celebrity News Report read by Ian Thespian
Did Delia Smith spike the Colonel's egg sandwich? Did Robbie Williams kill badgers? Did Louie Walsh headbutt a dolphin? Why did the Colonel steal the psychic false teeth of Cliff Richard's Mum? Last of the current series
Ever seen the Wu Tang Clan in pantyhose? Is Jimmy Tarbuck the Loch Ness Monster? More illusion, confusion and self delusion with The Colonel
Who eats porridge out of a plastic vagina? Is Tom Jones black? Is shit acceptable? These questions and possibly many others are answered by listening to this Episode of the Colonel's memoirs
The Colonel gets attacked by Gandhi, kidnapped by Cliff Richard and suffocated by a sandal. There's Catholic skullduggery afoot, dead relatives through the post, invasions by shadows, sore bats wing and a load of bollocks... what else could you possibly desire?
The Colonel is in his usual lunatic mode... KKK bus drivers, Beefy Botham eating umpires... and of course, rectums are all on the agenda
Kaki shorts, pictures of penises,finding solace in Charlotte Church's mum and trouble with traffic wardens are just some of the topics exposed by the Colonel this week
All hell breaks loose with fishing adventures in the outback with Steven Irwin. Find out how did Abu Hamza loose his hands and which Hollywood star was caught shoving a deoderant can up his tradesmans. Todays finale is the Conlenel's rendition of 'Moon River'
We start with a sore penis, then move on to hot potatoes, attacking children, training mosquitos to bite extremists and we hope against hope that Ronan Keating will never sing again
Is Bono a veal eater? Is Jim Morrison dead? Is there something nasty in Sage's woodshed? Beefeater hats?... Sandal confusion, suicide bombers, Chopper Harris, de-materialisation, Houdini... and of course, more fingers up rectums
Series Four begins with sausages! A brief history of the sausage in art, warfare and revolution! Also, Van Gogh, Nazis... egotistical foxes...
More highly inflammatory rambling tales from our beloved Colonel... The Michael Jackson saga continues
A miniturized mad scientist is injected up the bottom of Michael Jackson... life sized puppetry and other unbelievable tales from our dear Colonel
Skulduggery afoot as the Colonel uncovers the links between leather clad nipple tweaking Richard, breast displaying Judy and the Al Qaeda network
Britney Spears, the nipple tweaking Prince, large ladies and Himmler's affection for funky chickens
The Colonel retells his adventure with Van Strapon in the Belgium Congo... plus STDs, Cocaine, Jesus the Christ, time capsules, Maggie Thatchers heart, hairless balls, smaller persons...
We all need redemption... the Colonel continues with Mark Twain, Steve Davis, Pakistan, prison, manginas...
A compilation of some of the funniest bits from the Colonel's first 10 radioshows. In these comedy interviews with Sage McCorkadale he discusses his involvement in some of the most interesting and bizarre events in history. Be patient...watch the skies...