Rise and Thrive Show: Recent Episodes
Finding peace and joy in life even when it feels impossible.
Mary Hayes Grieco is back with you again, in this new solo era of The Rise and Thrive Podcast. Today Mary reads two essays from her perennial book, The New Kitchen Mystic: “Loss” and “Getting Up Again.” These pieces are like vitamins or a soothing balm for your resilient heart, because the experience of loss is something that visits our lives time and again. Please pass this podcast on to someone you know, who’s in the middle of such a time – they will find that Mary’s voice, her philosophy, and her heartfelt personal sharing is good medicine!
This is a story that Mary tells from her recent experience with opening her heart to a homeless woman. Choke-up Alert! This is a sweet and sad story – enter in with your own brave and kind heart.
Hey, we’re back! Well, um, we mean – Mary’s back, flying solo this season because Erin is busy in her new leadership role at MPR News.
Say hello to Mary Hayes Grieco again as she invites you into the next season of thoughtfulness, kitchen mystic philosophy, and delicious storytelling. Mary explains that although her desire to speak publicly has been on a sabbatical during a year of epic losses – “I’ve got nothing to say!” – she’s back into sharing from her journey with the peace of knowing that “not all who wander are lost.”
Tune in and open your heart to settle in and learn from your friend Mary this fall.
We continue exploring the explosive new growth in modern psychology, as Mary jams with Darla McEnroe, a busy therapist. Darla employs a number of new growth technologies with people in her busy practice. After 25 years of showing up to healing human pain in her daily work, Darla remains fresh and curious and enthused about it and she has much experience to share! We discuss some of the tools she uses to heal trauma: EMDR and HMR, and The Eight Steps of Forgiveness. Darla also shares how she takes care of herself to avoid burnout. Listen in and learn - we are all on a psychological journey, and the field of psychology itself is on an exciting journey.
Darla K. McEnroe LMSW, NBCC is a Clinical Supervisor and Therapist with Catholic Charities, Diocese of Sioux City Iowa.
In this episode, Mary and Erin discuss the ways that we re-set our attitude in the long weird times we're in. Take comfort from some of the best ideas from Eckhart Tolle's work, A New Earth, which explains to us what higher consciousness really is, and how our own energy and attitudes improve our life situation and the human collective all around us. Be a "higher frequency holder" - for yourself and for all of us! Enjoy revisiting this episode from late 2021.
During the height of the pandemic, Erin and Mary both had uncomfortable encounters with "people who are not doing that well." Friends, family, strangers - how do you handle it when someone nearby you explodes with irrationality because of the built-up pressure of our weird times?
Hear some tips for instant forgiveness and the attitude re-set that a masterful person can practice. Enjoy this revisit episode fall of 2021.
The pandemic is waning… rising…changing? We don't know anymore, but we do know that with all the pandemic debris still around, and with world situations quite chaotic and worrisome, times are weird and people are not at their best in this present uncertainty. How do we walk through this scary life classroom with the grace of a master?
Here's a show we did in the fall of 2021 that is still 100% relevant. Join Erin and Mary as companions as they support each other to be masterful with the aid of having good patterns in a day, and focusing more on our "being" as well as our "doing."
What is true freedom? As Mary and Erin tell it, the healing experience of forgiveness delivers the promise of freedom because freedom is an inside job. You become free, as you dissolve the heavy weight of a bad old story, and something sparkly enters you instead. In the moment of forgiveness, your own soul pours in and empowers you to walk forward with a lighter step.
Inner freedom is becoming unencumbered by guilt, shame, sorrow, disappointments, injustices, or false notions of who you are, enabling you to entertain fresh new choices in your life.
In this episode, you will also enjoy some of Mary's favorite moments of glorious human freedom when she was teaching forgiveness in Ireland.
Enjoy this "revisit episode" from our very first season!
Since the pandemic and the upsets of 2020, the word "trauma" has found a foothold in many conversations, and we see today that mental health issues abound all around us. Many people are seeking therapy for the first time, and psychologists are more than busy these days. How is the modern field of psychology best addressing our trauma issues, large and small?
Today, Mary and Erin explore this question with licensed psychologist Sharon Stein McNamara, Ed.D., who is also president-elect of the Minnesota Board of Psychology. Listen in as we draw on her deep and wide experience in different schools of thought in modern psychology.
https://www.sharonsteinmcnamara.com/
Erin and Mary are joined this week by Julie, a dedicated forgiveness student who swiftly transformed her misery about the surprise revelation that her husband had been having an affair for a full year. In the process, she realized there were important things about her husband's personality and failures as a partner that moved her solidly into divorcing him and creating a new and better life without him as her mate.
Join us and be inspired by Julie's courage and her remarkable ability to swiftly heal this huge life disappointment. Learn how the effective 8 Steps forgiveness method has helped her to positively dealwith the truth of her marriage and move on into a better future.
Did you wake up in hell this morning, or did you wake up in your beautiful life? Or somewhere in between? Mary and Erin reflect on the most valuable takeaways from the recent My Beautiful Life class, and muse on the power we have to choose our attitude and the challenge of living through disruptions and transitions.
Time for some healing and a fresh start in your life? Join Mary Hayes Grieco at The Wonderful Forgiveness Weekend, in-person, in St. Paul, MN, June 10-12, 2022. Learn more and register on the home page of www.forgivenesstraining.com
Are you ready to give Mary’s 8-Step method for forgiveness a try? First, listen to this episode where Mary shares tips on preparing to do the steps. And how to care for yourself afterward. You got this! Relief is on the way! (This is another revisit of a previous conversation).
In this new episode, Mary leads listeners through a brief review of her Self-Forgiveness method. The guided exercise begins at TC: 18:45. Pause and re-start the recording as needed. Relief is on the way!
Learn more about Mary's method on her website at: www.forgivenesstraining.com
Or read Mary's book: Unconditional Forgiveness: A Simple and Proven Method to Forgive Everyone and Everything, by Mary Hayes Grieco.
In this new episode, Mary Hayes Grieco gives a brief review of her 8-steps to freedom. The guided exercise begins at TC: 17:00. Pause and re-start the recording as needed. You got this!
Learn more about Mary's method on her website at: www.forgivenesstraining.com
Or read Mary's book: Unconditional Forgiveness: A Simple and Proven Method to Forgive Everyone and Everything, by Mary Hayes Grieco.
Mary and Erin discuss how forgiveness is refreshing and healing, and by doing it, you can feel better and brighter, by accessing Spirit’s healing energy. Mary explains how in steps 6, 7, and 8 of her forgiveness method, you can experience a spiritual cleansing, a reset in your life, that brings peace and feels terrific.
We are revisiting this critical conversation to bring Mary's forgiveness method home!
Step Five is a key ingredient of Mary’s recipe for healing. In this episode, Mary and Erin go deep on what it means to “open up to life again” and how to do it. Mary explains how this turning point helps us connect with the goodness of life. And she explains how to draw on your higher power to get the healing you need. This revisited conversation is packed with insights and wisdom.
Mary and Erin revisit this conversation, where they reveal the liberating act of setting boundaries in our lives. Drawing lines between what is ours and what isn’t. What we will and will not do. What we will and will not allow to happen to us. How we do and don’t want to use our time and energy. Mary walks you through defining boundaries that reflect your values and intentions and help you restore calm and sanity to your life.
We naturally expect people in our life to be good, smart, and do the right thing. We rightly fuss and fume when they do bad and stupid things that hurt and disappoint us. We wish they could and should be different than they are, but we can’t control that.
Mary and Erin reveal how to stop tormenting yourself about the disappointing things people do, and how to get over our hurt feelings. (Revisited Conversation).
Getting out the bad memories, negative emotions, and crappy feelings that have been haunting you, is the beginning of the healing process. Honoring and expressing your true feelings passionately and out loud, is key to your emotional healing process.
Don’t be afraid to have the messy cry! Or to yell your head off. Empty your heart of the stored-up emotion. Mary and Erin will show you how to do the releasing that refreshes, cleans you out, and helps you to heal. (Revisited conversation).
So you’ve decided it’s finally time to ditch the anger, resentment, disappointment, and sadness from a bad experience with someone or something. You want to be done with the pain once and for all.
We revisit this conversation, where Mary and Erin help you define the change you want and help you make the strong commitment that’s absolutely necessary to do the work that will make that change happen, for real.
If you intend to heal a big wound from a bad experience and find relief from the pain of it, you will be making a significant change in your life. Are you ready for a change? Change isn’t easy for most of us. Fear can hold us back from making changes, even those we know are good for us.
Mary and Erin provide the encouragement and the practical stuff you’ll need to do in order to get ready to make the change. It’s worth it! You will restore your sense of peace and joy – no matter how difficult a task that seems to be before you get started. Join us, as we revisit this conversation. You will get there!
We revisit this conversation where Mary introduces her awesome recipe for getting through and getting over the inevitable losses, disappointments, and mistakes we all experience, and for peacefully coexisting with annoying and difficult people.
Mary’s “Eight Steps to Freedom” is an indispensable tool and life skill for restoring a sense of peace and joy whenever you feel angry, resentful, disappointed, and hurt by situations and people in life, including yourself.
Episode Highlights, Ideas And Wisdom
There’s a process that always heals the pain from tough times and dealing with difficult and disappointing people. It’s more specific and quicker than “Time heals all.” Peace and joy is found in letting go of unrealistic expectations that cause hurt and repeated disappointments. You don’t have the power to make other people change their ways. You do have the power to adjust your expectations of them. You can count on having disappointing life experiences. You can expect that life is going to change. People are going to let you down. People are going to die. People are going to get sick. You are going to lose a job. Life is hard at times. You need to know how to process the hurt from these difficulties right out of your system and recognize the valuable golden nugget of wisdom that you can learn from these experiences. Mary’s definition of forgiveness: “The refreshing experience of releasing an expectation that is causing you to suffer.” Forgiveness is an absolutely necessary life skill. We should be learning it in junior high. It’s the way we heal the pain of disappointing life experiences. It’s really hard to get over things by just saying to yourself “get over it!” Step One: State your will to make a change. Make a decision to make a choice to let go of a disappointing situation or person and move on and open up to life again. This decision can be hard and take time, particularly if you feel that you were truly wronged. Step Two: Express your feelings exactly as they are inside you. Vent. Let out your tears and your rage. Yell. Complain. Curse. Judge. Let out your true feelings about the situation or person that’s causing the hurt. This stuff needs to come out. It’s keeping you from being able to move on. Good healthy anger is kind of like a fiery quick moment that comes through and then it’s gone. If you keep anger inside, roiling and revving, it hurts you. It makes you sick. It makes you ill. It’s meant to come out of you. Step Three: Release expectations from your mind, one by one. Unhook the unrealistic expectations that have been glued into your brain by the fixed emotions that you let out in step two. Expectations are good. They’re based on your values and your hopes. Sometimes we have to let them go because a certain person is incapable of being decent or honest or responsible in the way you expect them to be. Or, what you hoped would happen in a certain situation turns out to be unrealistic and doesn’t happen. Step Four: Restore your boundaries. You have your own personal space and values. You can’t be responsible for the bad actions of people around you. In this step, you set these people outside your personal space and give them full responsibility for their bad behavior and the problems it causes. You stop carrying around these burdens because they aren’t yours. You’re only responsible for your own integrity. Step Five: Open up to God to get your needs met in a different way. Imagine being completely unattached from the person or situation you’re forgiving, no longer looking to him or her or the situation to satisfy your needs. You are now turning to a spiritual source for peace and joy saying, I’m giving myself into your hands. I trust you to give me my needs met and to lead me forward in a new way. Step Six: Receive God’s healing energy into your personality. Imagine a source of healing light and love above your head. Visualize opening up the crown of your head like a big skyli...
Can you move forward yet, post-pandemic? How do we deal with the changes, uncertainty, and psychological rubble and debris that is still in us and around us? Mary and Erin take the long view today and discuss the gifts of a pandemic in human evolution, the current rise of people willing to view what's good, and the perennial tonic of forgiveness to heal our disappointments.
You don't need a lot of money to be rich and to experience great abundance in your life, starting today. Enjoy this meaty and encouraging discussion as Erin and Mary explore "the mindset of abundance and success" and the simple and transforming thoughts and attitudes that chase away the experience of lack and scarcity. If you stop chasing success, and fully enjoy what you have and who you are, as you play with principles of success and abundance in your own life lab, you will inevitably create more financial prosperity too.
Do you worry sometimes that you are playing "too small" in your life? Or do you hold yourself back from your fullest self because you were raised to be a humble and modest person and told not to call too much attention to yourself? Mary says, "If the Universe is asking you to step up and shine brighter, then it's the humble thing to do that, and arrogant to refuse it." Our topic today, Humility, is surprisingly rich and thick with good insights. A new understanding of what humility really is will empower you in your quest for a powerfully purposeful life, day by day. Enjoy!
When we feel stressed, overloaded, or scattered, it’s usually because our boundaries are not in place. A boundary is the line we draw and maintain that delineates what we do and don’t want in our lives; it's that important line between who we are and what we intend, and who we aren’t, and what doesn't fit our intentions and our values. Mary and Erin explore the role boundaries play in our daily happiness and sanity. In this episode, we take a good look at the gift of boundaries, including Mary’s ingenious method for delivering the “glowing golden word, NO,” a word that can improve our life and our relationships.
Explore the delightful "playground structure" of Mary's framework about how we recognize and empower our purposes: the paradox of relaxing AND getting going at the same time … the different levels of purpose that inform the song of our life, whether simple like a piano sonata or majestic and complex like Beethoven's ninth symphony. Reach out and put your hands and mind on the tools of purpose: humility, will, intuition, and good boundaries. Plus, can you learn your life purpose from someone who's drunk? Mary did. Enjoy her signature storytelling as she introduces you to her Aunt Ann, who was drunk 24/7 but left a powerful positive teaching behind her.This episode of Rise and Thrive is rich and on purpose to bring you new joy and clarity about your life!
Even for a moment? Our wild self is the part of us that does the unexpected - acts goofy, initiates a harmless joke, breaks a rule, leaves routine to go "Walkabout," or submerges spontaneously in a wild river or a beautiful rain. Erin and Mary celebrate the breakout moments that refresh us and encourage us to shake things up a bit from time to time. Surviving our own weird moments well is confidence-building; we also explore the behaviors that build confidence with highlights from the book The Confidence Code, by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman. Enjoy the permission in this podcast to "just do that thing- what does it hurt?"
Do you have any idea how wonderful you are? Or did you forget how good you are somewhere along the way when life got hard? Stop beating yourself up and depriving yourself of "your beautiful life," and join Mary and Erin again this week as they explore the power of a commitment to self-love and to the active habit of self-forgiveness.
Erin and Mary lean in a little closer, a little deeper, into matters of the heart. Our capacity to know and accept ourselves enough to be transparent and trusting of another person is one of the essential abilities to cultivate in "your beautiful life." Let your heart be nourished by this conversation - let our podcast continue to be part of your growth and flourishing!
The Beautiful Life class moves ahead in Module 2 into the vital and tender territory of Self-Love. What are the behaviors of healthy self-regard? Do you dare to firmly plant the new belief that you are "a cherished child of the Universe," and experience the goodness that grows from that?What is "The 80% Rule”, and how will it help us to relax? Cuddle up with your darling self and this podcast and see how good you can be with being good, just as you are.
https://maryhayesgrieco.com/
We continue our exploration of the topic of Intuition this week, with gusto for the subtle magic that abounds in everyday life; Erin and Mary give each other encouragement to let the magic be real, let it be good, and open up all of your perceptive senses to enjoy it. Hang out with them soon in The Benevolent Universe, and enjoy a conversation that pushes some edges about the things we don't understand, but remains grounded in goodness and common sense.
In this episode, Mary and Erin chomp into and savor one of their favorite self-mastery topics - Intuition. What is it? How does it operate in you? Is it scary? Can you trust it? Can you figure out if you're interpreting it accurately, and can you make it clearer and stronger? We explore some delicious questions, a practical framework, and good stories about your sixth sense.
Find "My Beautiful Life" class on Mary Hayes Grieco's website: https://maryhayesgrieco.com/
Erin and Mary hang out after class together, and jam on some of the ideas taught this week in the My Beautiful Life class, an ongoing zoom class with Mary that focuses on aspects and tools of spiritual mastery and living purposefully. Today we explore the power of role models, and the opportunity we have to grow when we actively admire the light and mastery of another person. We give a loving nod to the gifts of the Zen master, Thich Nhat Hanh, who passed away recently, and we appreciate "the cool lake" of his being and teachings amid our fiery times.
Find info about Mary's zoom class on her website: https://maryhayesgrieco.com/
The "My Beautiful Life - Self Mastery and Life Purpose" class series begins this week with Mary Hayes Grieco and students from near and far on zoom on Saturday mornings this winter. Mary and Erin take time after class to jam on the podcast about a few of the highlights, the "golden nuggets" in her weekly talk.
This week we set the table for a clear understanding of what it means to live like a master and some of the tools and attitudes that cultivate mastery. As the Buddha said, "Be a Light."
More info at: https://maryhayesgrieco.com/
Mary Hayes Grieco continues her Spark your Sparkle 2022 talk and riffs off on some of the astonishing data about women and confidence in the book, “The Confidence Code” by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman. Reflect on the value of acting and failing and acting again without getting lost in rumination and perfectionism. Also, two other confidence-builders: bring alive again the energy of the best moments of you, since childhood, and dance freely just before you do something important that requires confidence. “The dancing is very important!”
https://www.forgivenesstraining.com/
Here’s an excerpt from Mary Hayes Grieco's talk at the recent New Year’s Workshop for Spirited Women – “Spark Your Sparkle for 2022.” These good thoughts about what we are learning together in pandemic times transcend gender, so come on in, everybody, and enjoy Mary’s simple and inspiring point of view for this point in time. Enjoy the lovely visualization at the beginning of the talk about building a safe space in community to explore new thoughts … and imagine other people out there listening to this too … the people who are “friends you haven’t met yet” – the other humans out there who are intending to Rise and Thrive.
https://www.forgivenesstraining.com/
Mary and Erin enter the dance of the New Year together with their Word of the Year (what's yours?) Kick-off 2022 in good company with these two friends who support each other to become "soul-illumined people."
And hey! Mary's got two classes coming soon on zoom:
Spark Your Sparkle New Year's Workshop for Spirited Women - January 8th, 2- 4:30 PM.
My Beautiful Life class - 16 weeks on Saturday mornings 10-12:30 - open to everyone. Self-mastery, soul connection & intuition, loving yourself, and living purposefully. Begins on January 15th.
Find full info at www.maryhayesgrieco.com or www.forgivenesstraining.com
Questions: 612-874-6622
See you there!
It’s the New Year! Such a great time for the re-start, the re-boot, the re-set … but how do you stick with it for the long term? Maybe you gave up making a New Year’s resolution a while ago because you always fail at sticking with it. (Doesn’t everyone? How is it that we can FORGET our best intentions so quickly?!)
Try this: boil your New Year resolution down into one word: your Word of the Year.
This is a throwback episode from our first season. Coming soon: Mary and Erin discuss our words of the year for 2022!
At this time of year, as the Christian world celebrates the birth of Jesus, it’s a great time for seekers of all stripes to reflect on the consciousness that Christmas time is holding and renewing for all of us, year after year. Gain support for a renewed sense of human unity. This episode is from our first season when our podcast was called Life Gets Better Now. Here's Erin Warhol and Mary Hayes Grieco.
Home-grown philosopher Mary lets it rip as she and Erin explore some definitions and clarity regarding the distinctions between spirituality and religion. Enjoy taking some time for new thoughts and increasing your intention to grow this winter in steady spiritual practice. Build a space inside you for calm positivity. This episode is from our first season when the podcast was called Life Gets Better Now.
You are if you can get a glimpse of the Divine in ordinary things. Mary sees God in onions, and Erin sees it in light glinting in the landscape. Despite the challenge, conflict, and gloom of our pandemic times, and despite the fact that church attendance is decreasing, non-affiliated spirituality continues on the rise in our culture, as more and more people cultivate the sense of peace, gratitude, and a sense of wonder about the Universe. And people who are in churches say their faith is stronger than ever. The hope of our times lies in this quiet but massive spiritual awareness that is growing.
You love your family but they drive you crazy sometimes? Before the next family gathering, do some “pre-emptive forgiveness.” Our families are ours for a lifetime, to learn from, to accept and appreciate, or to avoid and set limits with, as the case may be. If you already are aware of what some of your uncomfortable family dynamics are likely to be, take some time now to hang out with Mary and Erin, and get ready to show up in a new way. It’ll be better this year!
This show is from the first season of our podcast, which was then called: Life Gets Better Now. Enjoy!
Welcome to winter, a time of year that offers a prime opportunity to deepen our spiritual connection, and go to a new level of peace and purpose. Mary and Erin inaugurate the season with enthusiasm for the “life inside,” and bring forward some of their richest, juiciest shows from the first incarnation of the podcast, “Life Gets Better Now.” Enjoy!
As Thanksgiving approaches, we take a minute to notice if gratitude is in our attitude, and make an effort to bump it up a notch. Mary shares a story of a powerful breakthrough out of a deep depression she was in once, with the help of her wise teacher and the persistent practice of gratitude over nothing and everything. We conclude with a guided meditation designed to help you take this concept beyond mere talk to the energetic experience of gratitude, inside your body, and an amplified connection to your soul.
"I'm not lost … I'm … spaciously open-minded about what's next?!?"
Erin and Mary check in again with a conversation about how important our mental framework is. When we are in times of emptiness and unknowns: it matters how we talk to ourselves about our current state. Also savor with them some golden nuggets from Eckart Tolle's book The New Earth, where he boils down the idea of higher consciousness to terms we can recognize each day - acceptance, enjoyment, and enthusiasm!
As pandemic winter #2 closes in, Mary and Erin talk about the mental health issues that abound, among community and strangers alike, and how to be with that. What do you do when someone nearby you explodes with unexplainable rage? Or do you yourself feel a flash of rage in the middle of a meeting? How does a master meet that moment?
Mary and Erin go into serious fandom in discussing the merits of the hit television show, Ted Lasso. Why? Because Ted is a master in action - tho he appears The Fool he brings the strong medicine of love and kindness to every challenge and difficult human scenario. Hey, let's be like Ted.
Erin and Mary return after a little break with some new serenity, and some renewed "bubbly" in the attitude. Here's some fun about the importance of our groups, and the new views that traveling - however brief - brings to us.
(Hint: Are you feeling stuck or full of rage?)
Mary and Erin explore the signs and signals that you may be ripe and ready for some forgiveness. Are you feeling clogged up and cut off from your spirit? Do find yourself full easily enraged? Listen and find out whether now is the right time to knock down that old, stale, story that is holding you back and keeping you from your joy.
Good, clean, anger is so important. What is the difference between healthy anger and toxic anger? With the revelations coming out in The Facebook Files, Erin and Mary jam today on the dangerous commercial uses of toxic anger in social media. We say, “Opt out of the culture of contempt, and the commercial industry that is feeding off of it! Opt in to a movement for support and good will for all.”
Erin and Mary reflect on the discoveries in their shared journey of living the techniques and principles of Unconditional Love and Forgiveness. Get inspired to begin your own gentle adventure exploring this soul-lit path.
Mary's Forgiveness Training website.
"What??!!" we exclaim when an unforeseen crisis erupts into our daily life. How do we meet it, when something that feels so upsetting and so wrong is suddenly here? Mary and Erin explore how a masterful person meets those moments when we've fallen through a hole in the map.
Erin and Mary discuss their reticence for being active on social media because of its current toxic state.
And they share how ordinary daily activities – can become an active spiritual practice.
Plus, Mary explains the simple but powerful practice of “seeing the good”.
Inspired by recent talks and interviews with Monica Lewinsky, Erin and Mary take their conversation about shame further down the road. Enjoy this thoughtful conversation with two friends in a podcast that strives to be very honest, while keeping it clean, and keeping it kind.
Mary and Erin respond to the new documentary film “15 Minutes of Shame” from Executive Producer Monica Lewinsky and Director Max Joseph.
We watched this excellent new 90-minute film (now streaming on HBO Max) and discuss some of the issues brought to light including public shaming, how shame affects people, call-out vs calling-in with love, and how to heal shame through... forgiveness.
Here’s the poem Mary shares:
“He drew a circle that shut me out -
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle and took him in!”
― Edwin Markham, "Outwitted"
Mary Hayes Grieco is a forgiveness coach and the author of Unconditional Forgiveness, A Simple and Proven Method to Forgive Everyone and Everything, published by Simon and Schuster.
Learn more about Mary’s forgiveness method “8 Steps to Freedom” here: https://www.forgivenesstraining.com/
Prof. Loretta J. Ross’s TED Talk: “Don't call people out -- call them in" is here.
15 Minutes of Shame documentary on HBO Max – Directed by Max Joseph & Exec. Prod Monica Lewinsky is here.
We continue our friendly supportive discussions of Self-Mastery practices with the topic of boundaries. Learning how to recognize and reinforce your boundaries is the key to daily life with less stress and more fulfillment.
Check out Mary Hayes Grieco's website here: https://www.forgivenesstraining.com/
Erin and Mary get together again to explore and support each other in conversation as Erin recognizes that she has been living under the weight of a backlog of grief. Like so many of us in the pandemic times, we have barely been able to deal with one loss before there's another one.
But grief is patient and bides its time, and so when you finally have the space to grieve, there it is, asking for your attention. How do we walk with grief like a master? How do we take time for it and yet tend to our responsibilities? Come closer and listen in, and feel your heart respond to this conversation with these two thoughtful friends.
https://www.forgivenesstraining.com/
Erin and Mary reach out to each other again, as companions on their soulful journeys. Once again these friends ask the question together, "Am I a victim of life's difficulties, or am I a student of life in the process of mastering my current classes?"
Circles, cycles, the wheel of the year, the wisdom of the woods, a cave that calls out to you, and a tricksy Brigid's cross ...This St. Patrick's Day, go deeper, beyond the painted green faces and silly hats (and the cultural invite to drink too much!) and explore the spirit of Ireland that can nourish your spirit today, whether your ancestry includes the Irish or not. Enjoy a 2-hour podcast session that will offer you new spiritual practices from this ancient source, and also delight you with Mary Hayes Grieco's signature storytelling about the magic she experienced in her visits to Ireland, "home of her soul." (Originally presented as a workshop on zoom on Sunday, March 14, 2021.)
"Ireland retains in its rocks and waters a place for the wild soul to roam and dream." Mary Hayes Grieco
In this podcast, Mary Hayes Grieco talks about her upcoming class “My Beautiful Life – Self Mastery and Life Purpose," a weekly online workshop that kicks off on Saturday, January 16, from 10 am to 12:30 pm CST.
This winter, enjoy a delightful mentor, a lovely group, and a rich and interesting class that will teach you new tools for confidence and joy ... Psychosynthesis theory, Intuition, Intention, Forgiveness, Boundaries, Self-love, and more!
Join us in community as you forge ahead through winter into spring, and into your beautiful life.
The 12-week zoom class runs from January 16th through April 3, 2021, and costs $595. Reduced fee available for economic hardship or late sign-ups. Register at www.maryhayesgrieco.com
Questions? Contact Mary at mary@maryhayesgrieco.com or call 612-874-6622.
Once again, Mary Hayes Grieco jams optimistically with a community of spirited women who want to invoke the best for 2021, despite the epic losses of 2020. In the deep wintertime, with the pandemic toll rising, how do we dare to sparkle?
Mary talks about ways to boost your light with the active practices of Compassionate Attention, Radical Mercy for All, Radiant Faith, and a vigorously declared commitment to Your Beautiful Life and Joy, Anyway. Forgive the disappointments of 2020 and open up to the best version of yourself in 2021 – Happy New Year!
Mary Hayes Grieco website:
https://maryhayesgrieco.com/
Podcasts episodes about Mary’s Forgiveness Method:
https://riseandthriveshow.com/start-now/
On this Christmas Day, we revisit a podcast that aired in our first season of podcasts, Life Gets Better Now, at Christmas time in 2015.
Today the Christian world celebrates the birth of Jesus, but beyond the historical and religious Jesus, there is a Universal Spirit that he fully embodied; each of us can tap into that spiritual consciousness to some degree, no matter what our level of church affiliation or non- affiliation is. Let’s call it “Christ Consciousness.” It’s when you discover a space that is inside you, and you are inside it, where you remember what is so easy to forget: We are all One. In this moment of awareness, you feel encouragement, bliss, a desire to serve, blessing, thriving, unity.
As John Lennon put it, Imagine all the people … living life in peace … you may say I’m a dreamer. But I’m not the only one. I hope one day you’ll join us, and the world will live as one.
As winter’s darkness grows, it brings us the gift of knowing how much we love the light, and that we want to “be a light” for ourselves and for everyone else.
Take some time amid the noise and bustle of the holiday week to cozy up with Mary and Erin as their conversation leads you down and in to find that quieter, deeper place of peace. The blessing of being in Christ Consciousness can happen in a moment.
We wish that moment for you, whoever you are, wherever you are in your journey
– Merry Christmas!
Join Mary Hayes Grieco and friends for an afternoon of uplift and encouragement as we enter 2021 together. It's on zoom this year, and it's free!
When: Sunday, January 3rd, from 2-4 PM
How to join in: Send Mary Hayes Grieco an email that says, "I'm in!" --- mary@maryhayesgrieco.com
You'll receive a zoom link the day before, on Saturday January 2nd.
See you there!
(You're welcome to invite your friends)
Mary and Erin re-group together, as winter deepens and the pandemic stretches on before us. Enjoy hanging out with these two again as they support each other for best practices for center and sanity during this difficult time. Savor winter solstice with Mary as she shares her enthusiasm for this very special day of the year.
Mary's website: https://www.forgivenesstraining.com/
Mary’s point of view from Powderhorn Park, Minneapolis: “Our solutions need to be holistic.”
Welcome to this special edition of the Rise and Thrive podcast. In the wake of the murder of George Floyd and the civil uprising that flamed across Minneapolis, there came a call to end systemic racism in police departments across the nation. The question of how this will be done – reform the system or dismantle the system and transform our approach to police-ing - is a very controversial question.
As a block leader for 35 years in Powderhorn Park, Minneapolis, Mary Hayes Grieco is familiar with working directly with both the city police and the people that they arrest for the crime in her neighborhood. In this podcast, Mary shares her perspective on the questions surrounding the future of policeing in our cities. We hope you find this valuable, and if so, that you’ll share the podcast with the people you know who are interested in this issue.
Are you feeling stressed, "off," or disconnected? Do you wish to increase your peace of mind and strengthen your assurance on your life path, day by day?
Take 20 minutes for yourself, and Mary will guide you into a good "check-in" with yourself, and then lead you into a connection with your soul. Your soul is available to you for wisdom and refreshment, today.
Mary Hayes Grieco is the author of The New Kitchen Mystic and Unconditional Forgiveness, and she is a respected Spiritual teacher who lives in the Twin Cities. Visit Mary’s website and sign up for her newsletter and check out future classes at: https://maryhayesgrieco.com/
Mary and Erin check-in with each other as the reality of Covid-19 takes hold.
Mary shares a vision that inspired her back in the 1980s, and it’s giving her comfort now… and helping her see where this all may be leading.
Have a listen!
Mary Hayes Grieco is the author of The New Kitchen Mystic and Unconditional Forgiveness, and she is a respected Spiritual teacher who lives in the Twin Cities. Visit Mary’s website and sign up for her newsletter and check out future classes at: https://maryhayesgrieco.com/
Erin Warhol is an enthusiastic spiritual student of Mary’s Self-Mastery trainings, and the producer of the Rise and Thrive Show podcast.
Mary Hayes Grieco talks in-depth about how to heal emotional pain through her recipe: "8 Steps to Freedom", in part 3 of this forgiveness workshop lecture.
The Eight Steps to Freedom(Forgiving another person or a life situation)
Prepare yourself for healing and change.
Step One: State your will to make a change.Step Two: Express your feelings exactly as they are inside you.Step Three: Release expectations from your mind, one by one.Step Four: Restore your boundaries.Step Five: Open up to the Universe to get your needs met in a different way.Step Six: Receive healing energy from Spirit into your personality.Step Seven: Send unconditional love to the other person and release him or her.Step Eight: See the good in the person or situation.
Integrate this change; get used to feeling lighter.
Mary’s next Forgiveness Workshop is happening May 1st – May 3rd, in St. Paul, MN. https://www.forgivenesstraining.com/training-programs/the-wonderful-forgiveness-weekend/
Mary Hayes Grieco talks about letting go of expectations that are causing you to suffer, in part 2 of this forgiveness workshop lecture.
Here’s the best part: you do not have to talk to the person who has harmed you, or work things out, or reconcile your differences. Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation – you can forgive someone and never see them again if you wish. You can forgive them and divorce them, or forgive them and proceed with a lawsuit, if that’s what the real-world situation calls for. Forgiveness is something that you do for yourself, so you can breathe easy and sleep well at night, no matter what other people are doing or not doing. Real forgiveness is a profound and refreshing healing experience: an influx of fresh spiritual energy that dissolves your stress, re-sets your attitude, and brings you forward. It is separate from whatever worldly actions you might take in regard to the other person. And if you forgive someone you like and love, and you do want to remain connected? Ahhhh. More love, more ease. A better relationship, now and into the future.
How do you forgive? There is a simple, step-by-step method that reliably brings swift and permanent relief to a painful emotional issue, no matter how long you have held it. There is a way to forgive others, and a way to forgive yourself, which is of vital importance. There’s even a way to forgive life situations, or God. Our approach is based in holistic psychology and universal spiritual principles, and it can be used by people who practice a traditional religious faith, as well as by people who are spiritual but not affiliated with a church.
Mary's next Forgiveness Workshop is happening May 1st - May 3rd, in St. Paul, MN. https://www.forgivenesstraining.com/training-programs/the-wonderful-forgiveness-weekend/
Mary Hayes Grieco talks about her recipe for healing emotional pain in this lecture taken from a recent forgiveness workshop.
Forgiveness is not what you thought it was – it’s so much better than that. It’s NOT: forgetting, excusing, saying it’s OK, giving up, being a doormat, staying open to further abuse, tolerating injustice, or reconciling and working things out. Forgiveness is the refreshing experience of letting go of unrealistic expectations that are causing you to suffer; it’s a private act that clears stress from your body and mind, turns your bad story into wisdom, and sets you free to move forward in a new and better way.
When we forgive someone, we are not saying that what happened is OK. If you have been wronged – by someone’s bad behavior, childhood abuse, social injustice, or an unfair life situation – that’s not OK! And it never will be. But even though a terrible thing has happened to you, you deserve to have a good life anyway, and that’s where forgiveness comes in. Most people don’t understand what forgiveness really is, and so they hold on to resentment, and resentment hurts you.
Mary's next Forgiveness workshop is happening May 1st - May 3rd in St. Paul, MN. https://www.forgivenesstraining.com/training-programs/the-wonderful-forgiveness-weekend/
From a wish, to a prayer, to God’s Idea -- Mary Hayes Grieco kicks off the new year with a fun message steeped in both the sacred and the silly, supplying you with support to nourish new and bright prospects in 2020.
Mary’s questions for your New Year reflections:
In what way or area of my life do I need to give myself full permission to be my real self this year?
What do I need to release, in order to shine and to share my gifts more fully from now on?
What action step will I take now in 2020 to bring new focus and energy into my dreams?
MARY HAYES GRIECO: Forgiveness coaching & Spiritual Direction.
The Well Healing Arts Center – 2100 1st Av. South, Suite
103, Minneapolis, MN 5540
Mary’s contact info: 612-874-6622 mary@maryhayesgrieco.com
The next Wonderful Forgiveness Weekend will be May 1 – 3, 2020, in St Paul, MN
Mary and Erin share their personal stories that inspired them to create Rise and Thrive. The peace, joy and freedom they found in healing sadness, anger, fear, anxiety, and depression caused by disappointments, abuses, traumas, mistakes and tragic losses in their lives. Their hopes and dreams for creating a place where friends help friends get through and get over negative emotions and crappy feelings and heal the wounds they leave behind. A place with fun conversations filled with inspiring real-life stories, fresh attitudes and new ideas for living a healthy life full of peace and joy. Episode Highlights, Ideas and Wisdom:
Our worst stories can become our best stories. How Mary became who she knew she was inside – strong, bright, wise – when outside she was stumbling along with old issues hanging around that left her feeling shy, troubled, and full of fear. There are ways to handle negative emotions and crappy feelings besides drinking an extra glass of wine and beating your dog. How Erin got through and got over the pain of a stressful job, a messy divorce and terrible problems with anxiety. How Mary healed her seething anger, let go of feeling abandoned and developed a loving relationship with her dad even though he drank heavily and was often in his cups until she was 16. Good coexistence with other human beings is not easy because we're all a rather dicey lot. When it comes to our emotional health and our psyche, there are no quick fixes. We all have little characters inside us that are either helpful or unhelpful. Some of them really cause us trouble. Like the inner addict. The one that makes you eat a whole bag of cookies at 11 o'clock at night even though your goal is to lose 15 pounds. These characters really get in our way at times. We have to learn how to work with them. It's so important to get to know yourself. Get to know what it means to be you and how to be happy as the creature that you are. If you're an extra sensitive person, you need extra tools. A few more ways of being in the world where extra sensitivity is a gift and not a liability.
AMBUSHED BY BABIES Silly, Sorry, & Sacred Tales from my Reproductive Adventures, is now available as an ebook and an audio book. It’s a fat, feisty feast of storytelling in which Mary shares her life adventures with pregnancy, birth, and mothering. If you enjoy listening to Mary’s wisdom and animated storytelling on the Rise and Thrive Podcast, you will love this sweet and funny spiritual memoir. From Irish Catholic wise child to pregnant teenager, to hippie home birth mama , and all the way to The Tale of the Reluctant Grandmother, Mary’s stories span six decades and our culture’s changes around women, sexuality, choice and childbirth. Satisfying and delicious - enjoy it now!
Learn more, read or listen to the foreward, and order your book today at www.ambushedbybabies.com
Here’s a 10-minute podcast with Mary’s invitation to you to share in her story, and some reflections on this creative work, which was 25 years in the making – a long pregnancy indeed!
Enjoy this excerpt from Mary’s teaching in her 2019 Self Mastery Program, as she helps her students ready themselves to tackle their first forgiveness session in the near future.
Mary will put you at ease too, if you are in the process of getting your head around the mythically difficult task of forgiving someone.
Mary tackles our common resistance with her ease and warm authority that is based on SO much experience of practicing forgiveness and coaching people for 30 years to a breakthrough that brings new freedom.
EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS, IDEAS, & WISDOM
Forgiveness is for us.
It’s commonly thought that forgiveness is “ha-a-a-a-a-a-r d….” and that it takes a long time to do it. Mary says that a life skill is hard, only if you don’t know what to do – you have to be taught.
The average amount of time it takes to get over something that really bothers us is 45 minutes! If we know what to do, and do it.
Forgiveness “launders” the pain out of a story, drains out the stress, and leaves us with a nugget of wisdom and new strength.
We hold onto our pain and build a wall, because we are afraid of being hurt in a similar way again, in the future. “People cling to a wall, but what they really need is a boundary. Strangely- counterintuitively - our natural energetic boundary slides into place and we are stronger than ever, when we forgive.”
There are such great benefits from expressing your anger freely and comfortably to an empty chair. You get to be fiery, irrational, and unfair as you get your angry feelings out without any harm to anyone.
The Eight Steps of Forgiving Another mimic the organic way that the psyche heals itself, over time.
Be an explorer on a psychological adventure – boldly going into new territory. You are courting new ease and freedom and joy in your life!
In this lecture, Mary Hayes Grieco shares her New Year’s message and explores women’s empowerment through the framework of her Self-Mastery tools.
THE TOOLS AND HABITS THAT MAKE YOU THE QUEEN OF YOUR LIFE:
WILL – Use your will, your spiritual muscle, to create and change the things you can for the better; surrender to a Higher Will with things you must accept. “The wisdom to know the difference.”
DISCIPLINE – Actions and attitudes that you do in the short term whether you feel like doing it or not because it will create greater happiness for you in the long term. Self-discipline is an act of self-love.
INTUITION – Like GPS for a driver, intuition is the guidance from your soul to your personality: it’s there to help you fulfill your purposes and to make life easier. Seeing, hearing, sensing, moving & touching, pure knowing.
BOUNDARIES – Know your territory! What is and isn’t yours to be concerned about. Who or what you will/will not have in your space. If you are stressed, resentful, or have no time for your real passions, you need to set a boundary.
FORGIVENESS – Forgiveness is letting go of an expectation that is causing you to suffer. We do forgiveness for ourselves, to release stagnant burdens of unfinished stories, and regain our vitality.
HEALTHY ANGER – Anger is the doorway to your power, but not a house you can live in.
VITAL ENERGY MANAGEMENT – Grounded, contained, protected, open to Spirit’s guidance each day. Avoiding toxic spaces, people, situations. Clearing out bad energy. Restoring energy when depleted.
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE – Align yourself with this Law of the Universe. See the good; be open to the spontaneous outpouring of Divine Love into you, that blesses and refreshes you, reminding you of worthiness and belonging.
GRATITUDE – Gratitude is the WD40 of the Spiritual life. Practicing gratitude makes everything work better.
BE A WELL-TUNED INSTRUMENT AS YOU LIVE PURPOSEFULLY: "Relax, and Get Going!" Sing your song - your good song.
Mary’s questions for your New Year reflections:
In what way or area of my life do I need to give myself full permission to be my real self this year? What do I need to release, in order to shine and to share my gifts more fully from now on? What action step will I take now in 2019 to bring new focus and energy into my dreams?
RESOURCES
MARY HAYES GRIECO: Psychic readings, Tarot card readings, Forgiveness coaching, Spiritual Direction. The Well Healing Arts Center - 2100 1st Av. South, Suite #103, Minneapolis, MN 5540
Mary's contact info: 612-874-6622 mary@maryhayesgrieco.com
More Podcast episodes: www.riseandthriveshow.com
Mary’s suggested 3 Books about Will:
The Act of Will – by Dr. Roberto Assagioli You are A Badass! – by Jen Sincero Mastering Life's Energies – by Maria Nemeth
Mary and Erin discuss a new documentary film they love with the film’s writer-director, Dawn Mikkelson. Risking Light reveals how forgiveness is truly the path to permanently healing the pain from anger, resentment, and grief even in what seems like the most impossible situations.
To learn more about the film and where to view it visit: www.RiskingLight.com.
Our expectations have so much to do with how we feel at any moment in time. Negative emotions and crappy feelings almost always show up when people around us don't say or do what we expect, when situations don't turn out the way we planned, or when we don't meet our own expectations for ourselves. Mary and Erin explore the relationship between our expectations and our happiness. They reveal how to set and manage expectations that bring peace and joy to our lives. Episode Highlights, Ideas and Wisdom
Expectations are the crux and at the core of the negative emotions and crappy feelings that cause us to suffer.
It's a good trick to have expectations and also walk through life with a healthy and light grip on those expectations so we can let them go as need be. Society is a web work of expectations. That's what social is. That's what society's doing. We are training our kids with social expectations. We train our dogs. We go to work. We have job descriptions. Job descriptions are a delineation of expectations. Expectations are related to our relative happiness or peace of mind. Expectations can help us. Expectations can cause us trouble. Friction in our personal relationships with siblings, parents, our kids, neighbors and others we interact with a lot usually have to do with our expectations of these people that they aren't living up to. Expectations of their capacities or their way of being. Our expectations come from our conditioning and come from our values and how we were raised. They come from what we think is "normal." Unfortunately, we're not all raised the same. Sometimes people really mean the best, but they just can't do it. There are people all around who are immature. People who are not skilled or not even sane. People with personality disorders who aren't able to think about anyone besides themselves. "Expectation is the root of all heartbreak." – William Shakespeare It's been said that expectations are premeditated resentments. We all have expectations. We need to have reasonable expectations. It's normal. They create a structure or system for working together collaboratively and in harmony. Stress or unhappiness is the gap between our expectation and reality. We need to have expectations. We can't not have expectations in order to avoid disappointment. We do need to hold expectations around what we will tolerate and what we won't. We want to have our positive healthy expectations met. We want to be treated with respect. We have certain standards and understandings of how to do this or that, but it can be tricky. Sometimes, in certain situations, we need to release expectations in order to release stress and avoid getting a headache, but not if the expectations are important for our dignity and important for our ability to stay in a relationship or in an institution or in a structure. It can be very difficult to decide whether we should stay or go. We're all going to find ourselves at times in situations that we don't prefer. Relationships or marriages or jobs or neighborhoods or families that really are not what we expected, but where we really need to be right now because the time isn't right to make a change. We can find peace by releasing expectations and closing the gap between our expectations and the reality of the relationship or situation at the moment and loving it for what it is. Sometimes we have the power and it's the right time to change situations and people in our lives. We can say, "I'm outta here. This is not okay. Goodbye. Boom. I'm done." But, we can't say that to our 15 1/2 year old son. We can't. It's hard, but that's where we are. We do have the power to get realistic about what this situation is and isn't. What this person can or can't do, will or won't do and to release those expectations that are keeping that gap there between the things that should be and what really is. We always have that power. Releasing or adjusting our expectations is different than releasing our...
When we feel stressed, overloaded, or scattered, it's usually because our boundaries are not in place. The lines between what we do and don't want in our lives. The lines between who we are and who we aren't. Mary and Erin explore the relationship between boundaries and our happiness and sanity. They help you define and maintain your boundaries including Mary's ingenious method for delivering the "glowing golden word NO." It leaves the person receiving your NO feeling as though they've been handed a great treasure. Episode Highlights, Ideas and Wisdom
When we're in a good flow in our lives and feel like things are working well for us, it's usually because our boundaries are in place. We know what we're about and what we're not about. Boundaries clearly speak to ourselves and those around us about what we will and will not have in our space. Things that belong there and things that don't. What we will and will not allow in our lives because it's important to our integrity and our sanity and our happiness. Are you being selfish to draw a line, to set a boundary? We often learn about boundaries as adults when there's been a boundary violation. We usually find that we've lost our boundaries when we're mad at somebody. When we're resentful, stressed out, anxious or don't know who's supposed to do what when. Once you start learning about boundaries you see them everywhere. You begin to realize just how important they are. Wars are always about boundaries. We know we have healthy boundaries when we feel relaxed within the shape of our present life situation. We feel clearheaded because we know what our responsibilities are and what they aren't. We have clear agreements with people so we have good communication with them. We feel calm and confident because we're not stretching outside our appropriate space and we're not cringing inside our space because someone else is pressing into it in a way that makes us uncomfortable. When you're angry, resentful, or stressed for any length of time, it's because something needs to be adjusted. There needs to be some change around your time and energy and relationships. Perhaps the most beautiful word in the world for some of us. NO. The glowing golden word which is foreign to many women. It's been said that when a man says no, it's the end of the conversation. When a woman says no, it's the beginning of a long negotiation. Once you start growing in your awareness about boundaries and get stronger and more confident in your ability to set a boundary and say that Golden word, NO, there's a shift. People are not going to run over you. Boundaries are a lifelong pursuit because they change. We have to see our life as kind of a work of art that is shifting from time to time. We're adding and subtracting things. We have to review how things are going. We might discover that there are things we'd like to do, but there's no room for them. Sometimes we need to subtract something in order to add something. Like dropping a friend that's too consumptive and uses you and their dramas take up too much of your time and energy. When life's not going the way we want it to go, it's telling. It's giving us good information that if we can just listen to it and then work with it, we can actually get back on track. It doesn't have to be a crisis. Viewing things that upset us or make us uncomfortable as boundaries issues changes everything. Saying NO to someone is a gift because you're showing them that you trust them with your NO. You're showing them that you trust them to be interacting with the real you, not the pretend, stressed out, fakey you, but the real you. That's a gift. We need to have boundaries around our consciousness and our over concern for other people's problems. Every now and then we have to say to ourselves, “ya know that is their problem.” We need to trust them to work their path and handle their own karma. It's tricky. We're dealing with humility and boundaries together.
We all fall short in life. Feel really bad about something we've done or a decision we made. The shame, remorse and self-blame can be killers. Especially if we don't deal with it and try to bury it. Mary and Erin share candid and inspiring stories about the difficulty of facing into the pain, letting go of the disappointment and forgiving ourselves for our missteps and the wonderful wisdom and refreshing rewards that come from doing it. Episode Highlights, Ideas and Wisdom
The most difficult, but most rewarding aspect of forgiveness is forgiving yourself. We often cruelly punish ourselves for errors and mistakes. We beat ourselves up mercilessly. Learning to meet yourself with mercy is important for your growth and your health and your sense of peace. Self-forgiveness is the relief and the experience that comes when we get a glimpse of our human self the way God views us. In that moment, in that glimpse of the way God views us, the shadow and the pain just melts out of us. It's just gone. It's a shift that can happen in five minutes. It's a super powerful experiential moment that we can court with the self-forgiveness exercise. The essence of the self-forgiveness experience is like the love and tenderness we feel towards a frustrated toddler who's trying to learn how to walk. They keep falling down and crying. That's how we are in our human lives. Struggling to master our tasks and lessons. Falling down and bumping our noses on the edge of the table on the way down and crying. God lifts us up and says, "Come on darlin'. Come here. You're okay. Your good. Let me hug you. Let me help you. Let's try that again." Some of the things that we've done that need self-forgiveness, we just avoid because it's so painful to even think about and feel the shame of it. We're human beings. We're flawed. We're here to learn. We're not perfect. We are going to make mistakes. We can face these mistakes and actually learn and grow. Or, we can be horrified, curl up in a little ball and let our mistakes stay with us and haunt us. There are two sides to most stories. You know it's a bad story. It ended badly. Two people walked away hurt. You have this need to forgive the other person and you have this need to forgive yourself. Some people feel like they can't forgive themselves. Its not easy being a person. It just isn't. Sometimes we just can't help what happens. We do our best and we fail, but we still have to be with ourselves. We still have to love ourselves. Self-forgiveness is often something we're struggling with when what we really need is self-kindness.
Mary and Erin introduce an ingenious idea to prevent annoying family members from robbing your fun during the holidays. We all have them. One or two people in the family that drive us crazy or we just don't like. We feel anxiety and tension from the moment we see them. It happens every year, but it doesn't have to. Mary and Erin let you know how to enjoy holiday get-togethers with your family no matter who shows up. Episode Highlights, Ideas and Wisdom
The people in our family are ours for a lifetime. We gotta learn how to live with them. We're going to learn some things from them. Some we need to avoid as much as possible. Others we can learn how to enjoy the best we can. Releasing, ahead of time, unrealistic expectations of family members that cause tension and stress is key to relaxing and enjoying holiday get-togethers. It's good to have some humor around the things that annoy you. The unrealistic expectations that you let go. It's the unrealistic expectations that push our anxiety, tension, and stress buttons. Releasing those expectations unhooks us from those buttons. Once the tension and stress goes away and you start feeling comfortable, you'll magically begin to see the good in even the most annoying family members. Use this time of year as an opportunity to grow spiritually. It's supposed to be a spiritual time. It is a spiritual time for most religions. Let this be the time to make this unconditional love business for real. Pick a person in your family to get a little clearer about and to enjoy more.
Mary and Erin take on the sexual abuse crisis in our culture and how to heal from the wounds and pain it's inflicting. Mary shares inspiring stories from her 30 years of helping victims move on from even the most abominable attacks. Rape and gang rape victims who have healed and gone on to live normal lives filled with peace and joy and, surprisingly, even compassion for their attackers. It's a sober, but exhilarating conversation full of hope for sexual assault victims and predators as well as their friends and families. Episode Highlights, Ideas and Wisdom
Sexual abuse is about power and powerlessness on both sides of the equation. Can we forgive the predator? Should we forgive a predator? Sexual assault is part of the human shadow. We're all very full of light and darkness. This crisis is an opportunity to launder our darker aspects and experiences and find our light. Forgiveness is a state of freedom. Freedom from trauma. Freedom from sad decisions you've made about life or people or yourself or what you deserve. Forgiveness doesn't excuse the vile and atrocious behavior. It's not about the nature of the sins. It's about healing wounds and pain from bad experiences in life. Sexual assault is an amazing betrayal of trust. Very often the victim takes the experience to mean that they don't deserve their own boundaries. They don't deserve to succeed in this society unless they give it away. Most victims feel a sense of shame about having been in the position of powerlessness or giving themselves away because they didn't know what else to do at the time. They think maybe somehow they were in collusion with the predator if say there was a lot of drinking involved. So, they think they asked for it. They blew it somehow. The positivity of so many sexual abuse stories being told right now is that victims are feeling less alone, less self-blame and that it's less of a personal story and more of a cultural ill. Can we have compassion for everyone, including the criminals? The men that were so misguided and caused so much harm and are dealing with a lot of bad karma and weighty baggage they have to process. We don't really know why people do some of the things they do. Some predators who are ripping off a sexual experience from someone who's not exactly willing are feeling powerless themselves. They don't really know their truest self. They're seeking energy almost like they're hungry. Like they're empty and they're seeking the energy of this other person which they are going to rip off and dominate for a few moments. They feel kind of powerful for an hour or a day or a week or a month and then they have to do it again because they get hungry again. They go and find a new prey to rip that energy from. The victim feels like they've lost a piece of themselves. They also feel like they've been given the energy of shame that the predator may have been carrying around trying to get rid of it. There's this strange exchange that goes on around power and shame that all of us have to face into somehow and maybe have some compassion for both sides of the equation. You can't wait for healing until justice is done. You have to do both. If you are not ready to forgive, you have to ask yourself, how much longer do you want to remain tied to the predator? Do you really want to be tethered to him? How much longer would you like to dwell in that little dark room where you were hurt? How much longer to you want to be that child, that wounded and degraded person? An important part of the healing process is honoring your wounded personality. The part of you that feels damaged or ripped off. What you've lost. Your innocence. Trust. Your sense of rights. Honoring the person that you were and not blaming yourself anymore for what you've lost. Realizing that you were a child or the predator was much bigger than you or he had a weapon or there were four of them and one of you and that you couldn't help it.
Are you ready to give Mary’s 8 Step method for forgiveness a try? First, listen to this episode where Mary shares tips on preparing to do the steps. And how to care for yourself afterward. You got this! Relief is on the way!
Mary and Erin discuss how forgiveness is refreshing and healing, and by doing it, you can feel better and brighter, by accessing Spirit’s healing energy. Mary explains how in steps 6, 7 and 8 of her forgiveness method, you can experience a spiritual cleansing, a reset in your life, that brings peace and feels terrific.
Step Five is a key ingredient of Mary’s recipe for healing. In this episode, Mary and Erin go deep on what it means to “open up to life again” and how to do it. Mary explains how this turning point helps us connect with the goodness of life. And she explains how to draw on your higher power to get healing you need.
Mary and Erin reveal the liberating act of setting boundaries in our lives. Drawing lines between what is ours and what isn’t. What we will and will not do. What we will and will not allow to happen to us. How we do and don’t want to use our time and energy. Mary walks you through defining boundaries that reflect your values and intentions and help you restore calm and sanity to your life.
We naturally expect people in our life to be good, smart, and do the right thing. We rightly fuss and fume when they do bad and stupid things that hurt and disappoint us. We wish they could and should be different than they are, but we can’t control that. Mary and Erin reveal how to stop tormenting yourself about the disappointing things people do, and how to get over our hurt feelings.
Getting out the bad memories, negative emotions, and crappy feelings that have been haunting you, is the beginning of the healing process. Honoring and expressing your true feelings passionately and out loud, is key to your emotional healing process. Don't be afraid to have the messy cry! Or to yell your head off. Empty your heart of the stored up emotion. Mary and Erin will show you how to do the releasing that refreshes, cleans you out, and helps you to heal.
So you’ve decided it’s finally time to ditch the anger, resentment, disappointment, and sadness from a bad experience with someone or something. You want to be done with the pain once and for all. Mary and Erin help you define the change you want and help you make the strong commitment that’s absolutely necessary to do the work that will make that change happen, for real.
If you intend to heal a big wound from a bad experience and find relief from the pain of it, you will be making a significant change in your life. Are you ready for a change? Change isn’t easy for most of us. Fear can hold us back from making changes, even those we know are good for us. Mary and Erin provide the encouragement and the practical stuff you’ll need to do in order to get ready to make the change. It's worth it! You will restore your sense of peace and joy - no matter how difficult a task that seems to be before you get started. You will get there!
Mary introduces her awesome recipe for getting through and getting over the inevitable losses, disappointments, and mistakes we all experience, and for peacefully coexisting with annoying and difficult people. Mary's "Eight Steps to Freedom" is an indispensable tool and life skill for restoring a sense of peace and joy whenever you feel angry, resentful, disappointed and hurt by situations and people in life, including yourself. Episode Highlights, Ideas and Wisdom
There's a process that always heals the pain from tough times and dealing with difficult and disappointing people. It's more specific and quicker than "Time heals all." Peace and joy is found in letting go of unrealistic expectations that cause hurt and repeated disappointments. You don't have the power to make other people change their ways. You do have the power to adjust your expectations of them. You can count on having disappointing life experiences. You can expect that life is going to change. People are going to let you down. People are going to die. People are going to get sick. You are going to lose a job. Life is hard at times. You need to know how to process the hurt from these difficulties right out of your system and recognize the valuable golden nugget of wisdom that you can learn from these experiences. Mary's definition of forgiveness: "The refreshing experience of releasing an expectation that is causing you to suffer." Forgiveness is an absolutely necessary life skill. We should be learning it in junior high. It's the way we heal the pain of disappointing life experiences. It's really hard to get over things by just saying to yourself "get over it!" Step One: State your will to make a change. Make a decision to make a choice to let go of a disappointing situation or person and move on and open up to life again. This decision can be hard and take time, particularly if you feel that you were truly wronged. Step Two: Express your feelings exactly as they are inside you. Vent. Let out your tears and your rage. Yell. Complain. Curse. Judge. Let out your true feelings about the situation or person that's causing the hurt. This stuff needs to come out. It's keeping you from being able to move on. Good healthy anger is kind of like a fiery quick moment that comes through and then it's gone. If you keep anger inside, roiling and revving, it hurts you. It makes you sick. It makes you ill. It's meant to come out of you. Step Three: Release expectations from your mind, one by one. Unhook the unrealistic expectations that have been glued into your brain by the fixed emotions that you let out in step two. Expectations are good. They're based on your values and your hopes. Sometimes we have to let them go because a certain person is incapable of being decent or honest or responsible in the way you expect them to be. Or, what you hoped would happen in a certain situation turns out to be unrealistic and doesn't happen. Step Four: Restore your boundaries. You have your own personal space and values. You can't be responsible for the bad actions of people around you. In this step, you set these people outside your personal space and give them full responsibility for their bad behavior and the problems it causes. You stop carrying around these burdens because they aren't yours. You're only responsible for your own integrity. Step Five: Open up to God to get your needs met in a different way. Imagine being completely unattached from the person or situation you're forgiving, no longer looking to him or her or the situation to satisfy your needs. You are now turning to a spiritual source for peace and joy saying, I'm giving myself into your hands. I trust you to give me my needs met and to lead me forward in a new way. Step Six: Receive God's healing energy into your personality. Imagine a source of healing light and love above your head. Visualize opening up the crown of your head like a big skylight to receive fresh clearing energy from above.
Mary and Erin reveal the surprising way to permanently heal the pain from lingering anger, resentment, and grief in our lives. You'll hear inspiring real-life stories of how this method has transformed the lives of thousands of people around the world who are no longer suffering. It will give you hope no matter how difficult the experience you are trying to leave behind. Episode Highlights, Ideas and Wisdom
It's going to cost us or people around us if we don't know how to handle our anger in a healthy way. We have so much evidence of toxic expressions of anger all around us these days. Really bitter and nasty stuff. It's important for us to know who we are in this world and what we will and will not have in our space. What causes us to have healthy anger or unhealthy anger and how to deal with it. Anger is a doorway we walk through to reclaim our power and to set situations straight. To heal from the inside out. It's not a place to stay and live in, over and over, week after week, year after year. We can't be revving this anger inside of us because it's hard on us. It wears out our parts. Forgiveness is the refreshing experience of releasing an expectation that's been causing you to suffer. It's the moment in which you feel a weight drop away that you've been carrying around in your heart and in your head. Forgiveness is really about letting go of expectations. It's not about accepting things that are wrong or excusing things that are wrong. Our expectations come from what we consider normal, healthy, grown-up, decent behavior. What we believe to be right and civil. They come from the expectation that all children have, that they are going to be loved and protected. When people are violated, they somehow blame themselves. We don't know why, but we all do it. We think maybe I did something wrong. Maybe these bad things are happening to me because I'm not such a great person. It's irrational, but we do it anyway. Anger is a function of the psyche that is adrenaline-based. It has to come out. It is trying to get us to set something right. Put a boundary back, say no or say stop to something that's wrong. If we don't let anger out, it just keeps revving. Keeping us awake at night. Making our stomach upset. Making us snap at friends and family when they haven't done anything wrong. Forgiveness is a little journey which takes 45 minutes on average. If you're dealing with something really huge, like a divorce, an assault, or big parental things the journey might take a little longer, but not forever. A couple months or a handful of sessions and you're done for good. There is increasing evidence that there is a correlation between stubbornly held resentments and cancer. You'll know something is a forgiveness issue if you can't stop thinking about it. You dislike somebody or something intensely and you cannot quite get off of it. Healing anger, resentment, and grief lowers stress, clears the mind, and improves relationships. It brings more joy and allows you to see what's good in life.
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It can be a big struggle to let go, move on, and get over the losses and disappointments we all experience in life. Mary and Erin reveal that there is a way to get through and get over the hurt and heal the wounds from even the most devastating losses and biggest disappointments.
Episode Highlights, Ideas and Wisdom:
Feeling hurt, wounded, bent out of shape, damaged, and traumatized by things we experience in life is normal and very human. But, letting those feelings hang around torques our sense of reality, blinds us to what is possible and robs our ability to be joyful. You can actually go forward. You can get over things. It won't take forever There is a shape to how you do it that has some requirements. If you don't do them right, you're likely to stay stuck where you are. The recipe for letting go and moving on needs to include things beyond our mind and our will. Our emotions, our boundaries, our energy, our relationship with other people, and to life itself must be part of the recipe in order to completely dissolve the pain and be done with it. People say time heals all, but why wait for the fullness of time if you know the steps to get over the pain from losses and disappointments. Why wait years if you can feel better in the next month? We don't know what makes people ready to heal or how long they need to be stuck. We don't know why they need to be stuck for years before they finally decide they must move on. Can anyone heal any emotional pain? What about people who've experienced real atrocities, truly despicable things?
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Whether we know it or not, we all have a backlog of bothersome emotional things that haven't ever been completely settled. Static, energy, and feelings from old painful experiences. Mary and Erin explore how to know what's in your "pot of pain", how it affects you and those around you, and what you can do to empty it. Episode Highlights, Ideas and Wisdom:
Our emotions can be baby-ish, hot, selfish, and violent. They're not always rational or fair. They don't respond well to logic. Some of what's in your "pot of pain" is fresh and an understandable response or reaction to something in the present. Some has deep, long, terrible roots into your childhood and into your unconscious psyche. What's in your "pot of pain" can taint and color much of what goes on in your life. It'll cause you to put some interpretation on what you're experiencing that has nothing to do with what's really going on. It's actually coming from your "pot of pain." You don't realize that you're not seeing straight. Emotion is such a huge feature of being human. We just need to learn how to be with our emotions. Our emotions are hardwired in us from birth. Different personalities have different emotional natures. Some people are vivid, passionate, intense, and fiery. Others are cool, gentle, more cerebral, and don't get roused easily. Knowing our emotions are going to be there with us, we need to learn how to let them be the color, texture, drama, and interest in life without causing damage. When you're angry at something, it reflects what you think is fair, what you think is good and right and ethical. When you're joyous, it reflects what kindles your heart and spirit and brings light to your eyes. It's different things for different people. It doesn't hurt anyone to do a stint of therapy at some point just to get to know yourself better. People need each other. We tend to be wounded by people and we heal with people. We don't heal in a vacuum. We get things from growing through our painful experiences. We get mental clarity. We are able to see straight, focus, and establish some goals. We get good social behavior. We become likable, very likable and safe for others to be around.
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Mary and Erin reveal the dreaded gap that causes most of our negative emotions and lousy feelings. It's a game-changing way to look at life and deal with its disappointments. It will leave you feeling hopeful no matter how you're feeling or what you're going through. Episode Highlights, Ideas and Wisdom:
We're often disappointed by people in life, but we always have the power to release our expectations for them that aren’t realistic and causing us to suffer. How stuck you are on your expectations or how attached you are to your ideas about how things should be is often indicated by how stiff your neck or back is. The amazing, amazing center trick of living life peacefully is to be able to see what expectations we need to let go of. There's this amazing dance between having expectations and letting go of expectations. The amount of friction and stress that we're feeling depends on the size of the gap between what we're expecting and what is really happening. Expectations help us see what's important to us and the people around us.
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Mary and Erin dig into our emotions and how they affect who we are and what we do. They explore the differences between the person we are when we're emotionally healthy and the person we are when we're not. Let's just say there can be some big differences. Some aren't pretty and create serious relationship issues and other not so good disruptions in our lives. Episode Highlights, Ideas and Wisdom:
Emotion is a place where we all live. What it feels like to be emotionally healthy and not emotionally healthy. Emotional health is key to our physical health. It's key to our happy relationships. It's key to what makes every day worth meeting. We don't get to be happy all the time. What happens when you're not in touch with your feelings? Emotions are part of our personality. People who aren't emotionally healthy often eat their feelings. Drink their feelings. Work too hard, too long. They aren't comfortable in their own skin. They aren't able to get mad or deal with anger in a healthy way. Our culture doesn't leave us much room for a loss. People are nice to us for a couple of days. In a month or two, they wonder why we are still moping around. Grief is a slow emotional weather system that requires consistent compassion for yourself or the person that's nearby you in grief. We need to keep moving along like the current in a river. So often, we are so productivity oriented. We're like come on, be your best. Produce. Let's be amazing. We just can't be amazing every single day. If you get really good at handling your feelings, it helps you know who you are. It helps you know what you love and who you love. What you're passionate about and what makes you angry because it's unjust and offends your values. It's really a lot about knowing yourself. Emotions add color and drama to our stories and our lives. Emotions make us human and make us the interesting creatures that we are. Can people choose how they feel? Our minds and emotions interface, but they're on different circuits. You can have a good attitude and feel miserable at the same time. Our emotions are colorful and hot. Maybe unfair. Maybe judgmental. Signs that you are not emotionally healthy: You're grumpy. You're kind of shut down. You're sort of turned away. You're kind of negative or you're exploding. It's so troublesome if we don't face into our emotions. It causes fights. It causes people sinking into depression and getting stuck there. Emotions are fluid. They do move along if we don't get in their way. If we don't obstruct them by telling ourselves we can't have this feeling or by trying to nuke them out with alcohol, drugs or food. The more we do that the more we stay stuck.