Re-remembered

Re-Remembered is a story about fathers and sons, baseball, and mental illness. It is in the form of a one act play that describes how I used a creative, photographic process to reconnect with my estranged and long-deceased father.When I was five years old, my father suffered a bipolar episode and was sent to a psychiatric institution. It started him on a long descent from top IBM salesman to homeless on the streets of Brooklyn some 20 years later. Our relationship followed a similar trajectory; we spoke only twice in his final ten years.I began this creative journey by photographing the childhood objects that I most associated with my father. Over time, it became a trip into the emotional core of these objects, unearthing the feelings and memories associated with a black wallet, wingtip shoes, zippo lighter, baseball glove and many other long-forgotten items.Creating the series brought up many childhood memories. At first, all were negative experiences that reinforced my perception of my father with all his faults and tragedies. However, during the process I was able to see these experiences from a different perspective. The belief that my father “never gave me anything except heartache” was slowly replaced by a long list of very specific positive traits, skills and opportunities that were given to me from my Dad. Many of these were jolting but pleasant surprises. For example, I realized just a few years ago that my introduction into image making started with my Dad filming me around the house and yard. This astounded me.I started to look for these connections as I realized that there were probably more surprises to be found. It was not difficult. Most were memories that had been part of my conscious past; it was just a matter of seeing them from a different perspective. These memories and their transformation from pain to pleasure are the framework of re-Remembered; a 40-minute monologue designed to be delivered surrounded by the large photographic works. It’s a testament to the belief that it is never too late to have a happy childhood.