Larry Miller Show: Recent Episodes
Larry Miller
Comedian Larry Miller tells uplifting stories from his own life, in the tradition of great radio raconteurs like Jean Shepherd and Prarie Home Companion. Tune in to the fireside chat for the 21st century. It's time well spent!
Larry Miller is best known for roles in Waiting For Guffman, Best in Show and 10 Things I Hate About You, as well as his standup comedy. Now he brings his sharp wit and genteel manner to his very own podcast. And it's the only podcast recorded from inside an extinct volcano!
Dear listeners, welcome to the last episode of The Larry Miller Show! We have really enjoyed bringing the show to you and being part of this fun with all of you. For the grand finale, since it is December, we have decided to go out with our annual holiday tradition of Larry re-telling his story, "Does He Drink Coffee?" Plus, Larry does a big tribute to the late, great Sean Connery. Also, Larry tells his favorite joke of all time and recites his favorite Robert Frost poem from memory.
As you may have noticed, we haven't had a new episode in a few months. We've been unable to find a way to produce the show safely in these difficult times, as pre-production largely consists of Larry and his producer Colonel Jeff sitting in a small room for half a day, drinking decaf and talking. They talk mostly about Wagon Train, as if that's productive somehow. But that's the process.
So, we've decided it's time to roll up the old circus tent. Thanks so much for listening and thanks for all of the yuks you've given us. It's really been a lot of fun bringing you the show and getting to know so many of you for the last 11 seasons. You're a good group! Keep up the good work. And as always, nominum quid geminus?
Larry talks about how much he loves station wagons and Chevelles! Plus crashing his parents' station wagon and buying himself a brand new Mercury Colony Park wagon! Then hear about Larry's friend didn't know he was on fire. Speaking of cars, Larry recounts a great scene from the classic Steve McQueen movie "The Getaway."And now, with further ado. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "But he didn't know he was on fire."
Hear about the time Larry hitchhiked to college in western Massachusetts. Did he live to tell the tale? Tune in and find out! Then Larry knocks over tent poles in his family car. And find out what to do if a bully kicks sand in your face at the beach! Finally, we hear about the classic musical "Fiddler on the Roof" and Larry recites the poem " When You Are Old" by Yeats. https://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Fifty dollars is fifty dollars."
It's too hot to be happy. That's all there is to it. Yet, Larry makes mirth with tales of some of the hottest and coldest days of his life. In honor of the scorching sun, Larry recites "Summer Sun" by Robert Louis Stevenson. And he talks about the great World War II movie "They Were Expendable." https://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "It's a-hot out there."
Larry tells the story of how he almost had to wear William Conrad's pants during his first appearance on The Tonight Show. Then he talks about his favorite scene from the classic movie "Gentleman Jim." And in honor of the heat wave that's gripping the nation, he recites "I Know I Am But Summer To Your Heart" by Edna St. Vincent Millay. https://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Let's talk about this. Can we turn the cameras off?"
Larry can make a duplicate key by eye, but somehow can't identify his own car. Plus a tribute to Alfred E. Newman and Butterfly McQueen. Then Larry talks about the great war movie "Kelly's Heroes" and recites the poem "A Boy And His Dad" by Edgar Albert Guest.
Quote of the week: "Martians could land and say, "German?"
Larry summons Momus, the god of laughter to find out if Mercury is in Uranus. Then Larry talks about the Marx Brothers movie "Room Service" and asks for YOUR help in picking out a wedding present. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "They can look at a table leg for seven hours."
Larry gets the perfect present for a dead head's Father's Day! Also in tribute to Dads, Larry recites "Fathers" by Edgar Albert Guest. And we hear a little bit about Larry's time on the set of "Ten Things I Hate About You." http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Every Year: Old Spice"
Larry comments on the sad deaths of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade, and does a solemn reading of the poem "Despair" by Percy Bysshe Shelley that you won't want to miss. Then he talks about the Clint Eastwood classic "Heartbreak Ridge." Also, he muses on the greatness of naps and wonders if cavemen had time for them.
Quote of the week: "We need portholes."
Larry gets a new air conditioner and guess who installed it! Ahem, not him. The we find out if Playboy ever did a "Women of Milleronia" issue. Also, two different waiters tell Larry's he's crazy for asking for herring -- but for opposite reasons. On Magic Movie Moment, Larry talks about the Scarlett Johannsen movie "Lucy." And he recites "A Summer Afternoon" by James Whitcomb Riley.
Quote of the week: "This guy really put the wazoo on me."
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Larry tells about the many drinking holidays dedicated to him on his remote, secret volcano island. Plus, we hear about Larry's excitement about his family all being under one roof for the summer. Then he talks about the great Henry Fonda movie "The Grapes Of Wrath" and recites the poem "Nature, The Gentlest Mother" by Emily Dickinson.
Quote of the week: "I'd just never seen them smile."
When hookers took over Larry's neighborhood in NYC, he didn't even notice. The neighborhood kids definitely noticed and you won't believe what they did! Also hear about Larry's trip to visit his son in Boulder, plus Larry's other son, the Marine, says a quick hello on the air! Then Larry talks about the great William Holden classic movie, "Stalag 17," directed by Billy Wilder. https://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "I didn't notice any hookers, isn't that stupid?"
Here's a little secret about guys -- we don't know what we're doing. Yes, Larry recounts his uneventful prom night and uneventful (apparently) romantic encounters during his college years. Then we hear about the great Sam Peckinpah movie "The Wild Bunch." Plus, Larry recites "Come Walk With Me" by Emily Jane Bronte!
Quote of the week: "I enjoyed not knowing. Does that make sense?"
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Larry gets in line with all of the dumb husbands for Mother's Day. And Larry recites the moving Melville poem "Gettysburg." Then Larry does a loving tribute the classic musical movie "Showboat."
Quote of the Week: "Every Father was a chubby comedy writer."
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Larry discusses all things donuts after Colonel Jeff's return from his donut expedition to South Florida. And Larry gives a recipe for Milleronia-styled charred kale salad! Is it good? You figure it out.
Quote of the week: "I nearly did a chimp flip in my seat."
In tribute to the passing of Bruno Sammartino, Larry talks of his love of wrestling and helping Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart recover from a late night of mirth on the streets of New Orleans! Plus his personal encounters with wrestling legends Hulk Hogan and The Fabulous Moolah.
On Magic Movie Moment, Larry talks about the classic "Requiem For A Heavyweight" with Anthony Quinn. Then he recites the poem, "Carpe Diem" by Robert Frost.
Quote of the week: "Hey Moolah! Come on up here and get your lunch!"
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Hear about the booze / fire alarm in Larry's old frat. Plus tributes to Harry "The Hat" Anderson, Barbara Bush and R. Lee Ermey. Of course, Larry talks about his favorite parts of Full Metal Jacket. He also recites a poem by Harlem Renaissance writer Claude McKay. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Ahhh. Ice cold."
Find out why Larry was happy about getting stuffed into a coffin, covered in gunk and left out in the freezing cold! Surprise, it involves a fraternity. Plus lots of love for Grace Kelly as Larry discusses the movies "High Noon" and a little bit of "Rear Window." And how come nobody puts records on cereal boxes anymore? https://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "I'd fly her out to Monaco, too. And I've never been to Monaco."
Larry is almost run over by aggro cyclists and long boats at a regatta in Long Beach! In keeping with the nautical theme, Larry recites, "On The Sea" by John Keats and in keeping with the recent Passover, he talks about the classic movie "The Ten Commandments." Finally, keeping with nothing in particular, he tells a joke about a fainting nun.
Quote of the week: "Wow, wow and yikes."
Larry tells us why strippers and comedians get along so well and why Seattle really is the best. And, are there any drive-in movie theaters left? Also, Larry discusses what Soylent Green is made of and recites the lovely poem Paris In Spring by Sara Teasdale.
Quote of the week: "I've gotta zip up more."
Larry has a curious dream about his Dad. He tells stories of his Dad trying to get crooks to go straight and an innocent young Larry believing that transistor radios really do fall off the back of trucks. And speaking of dreams, Larry recites "A Dream" by Edgar Allan Poe. Then he talks about the movie "Charlie Wilson's War."
Quote of the week: "He made Luca Brasi look like Pat Boone."
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Larry has a bonding moment with a street guy -- or something? We're not sure what happened. Then Larry finds the one minimall with no bathrooms whatsoever and is also ribbed for being "the doorman" who can't operate an elevator. And he recites "Spring" by William Blake and talks about the classic '60s movie "Easy Rider."
LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "I've been 17 minutes late for 12 years."
Larry is straight up stumped about what presents to buy for his family. Then he talks about the best scene from the Rat Pack classic "Ocean's Eleven" and recites "Swallows Travel To and Fro" by Robert Louis Stevenson.
Quote of the week: "I want to put a hat on just so I can take it off to them."
Larry talks about how much he enjoyed his low-key anniversary. No madcap antics or zany hijinks this year! Then Larry recites "A Lady Who Thinks She Is Thirty" by Ogden Nash and talks about the movie "To Sir With Love."
Quote of the week: "If it doesn't work out. I'll kill you."
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If someone pees out of a tree in the forest and nobody hears it, is it still hilarious? Find out, as Larry talks about time spent drinking beer while sitting in a tree. And hear what it means that Larry got dead air from his proctologist. Larry also talks about the classic western comedy "Cat Ballou," and recites the Robert Frost poemt [sic] "The Sound Of Trees."
Quote of the week: "That's without dinner and a movie?"
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How hard should husbands and boyfriends try on Valentine's Day? Really hard, you knuckleheads! Larry overcomes his own knuckleheadedness to find a good Valentine present. Hear about the sheiks of oil jewelry store and the history of Valentine's Day. And Larry talks about the movie "Shakespeare in Love" and recites the poem "Two Valentines" by Eugene Field. https://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "27 thousand dollars for a thing?"
Larry tries to figure out why he dressed up for his eye doctor appointment. Who is he trying to impress? And we hear why condoms come in packs of 3, 6 and 12. Plus, Larry talks about the movie "An Officer and A Gentleman," and recites the poem "Courage" by Robert William Service.
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Quote of the week: "It's wiser and smarter than I ever gave you credit for."
Larry shuffles all around the mall in an attempt to find decent presents. Will he have any luck? Also, he explains who Tom Mix is and why is is on the mountain. Then Larry recites the poem "As Long As Your Eyes Are Blue" by Banjo Paterson and talks about the classic WWII movie "The Longest Day."
Quote of the week: Maybe he had it coming."
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Larry talks about his unsuccessful campaign to be voted Fall Festival Queen and his short-lived career as a kiddie protester. Then we hear about the great chariot scene from "Ben Hur" and Larry recites "Sand Dunes" by Robert Frost.
Quote of the week: "Don't just smoke an L&M. Vote for one!"
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Inspired by the movie "The Big Easy," Larry recalls some fond memories of working in that great American city, New Orleans. Larry also gives a tip of the hat to the late Buck Henry and recites the poem "Change" by Ella Wheeler Wilcox. https://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Three fingers of whiskey in a number four washtub."
It never rains on Milleronia, but it's raining like crazy in Southern California! Larry talks about the big rain and how people lose their minds during it.
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With the holiday season afoot, Larry continues his annual tradition of re-telling his classic story, "Does He Drink Coffee?" Also, Larry reluctantly allows some holiday cheer on his volcano island. From Larry, all of the staff for The Larry Miller Show and the scientists who maintain Larry's weather control machine, thanks for listening and we'll see you in the new year! https://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "When did it become December?"
Larry's friend decides to run for office. Will Larry get the public service bug as well? Getting in the holiday way, Larry recites the poem "Christmas Bells" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. Then he talks about a magic movie moment from the classic "Our Man Godfrey."
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Quote of the week: "Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. What's he do, sell insurance?"
Larry recaps his fantastic Thanksgiving, including the can of Ocean Spray jellied cranberry sauce that his wife bought just to make him happy. And Larry talks about his favorite scene from Starship Troopers, then recites "Acquainted With The Night" by the great Robert Frost. https://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Well, half of that I like a lot."
A special episode to listen to while driving to Thanksgiving at Grandma's house, or while hiding from your family in the basement. Larry has a run-in with a little old lady who just doesn't like Thanksgiving. https://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Our house must have looked like a brothel in Texas."
Larry tells you all you need to know about Thanksgiving. "Just put a sock in it and toss in a turkey. It's not a vegetable holiday, anyway." Then he gives a sturdy defense of Pluto and recites the Robert Frost poem "Stars."
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Quote of the week: "Yes it is comma stupid."
Fans of the show will know that "the hamper situation" has long been the Alsace-Lorraine of stately Miller Manner. Domestic tranquility is finally achieved, as the best hamper in the world is finally found! (See it and buy it here! https://amzn.to/378fsSp). Then Larry talks about what an "actor's moment" is, and discusses a great one in the Steve McQueen classic "The Cincinnati Kid."
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In honor of the upcoming holiday, Larry tells the tragic story of the last man to die in WWI. Then Larry recites the poem "Dirge For Two Veterans" by Walt Whitman and talks about the famous Russian roulette scene from "The Deer Hunter."
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Larry is hassled by a parking enforcement attendant and talks about the "next time guys" -- those people who wag their finger at you, but say they won't cut you any slack "the next time." Then Larry recounts a few favorite moments from the classic '80s action film "Commando" and also gives a tip of his hat to Hulk Hogan, who he worked with on the movie "Suburban Commando." Finally, a recital of the poem "Fear No More" by the great William Shakespeare.
Quote of the week: "Nevermind the happy ending, there's always a happy beginning."
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Larry celebrates his birthday at a nostalgic dinner with an old friend. The restaurant was so fancy, it had tablecloths even! And Larry sings the virtues of the birthday nap. Then we hear about the classic movie "Friendly Persuasion," and Larry recites the poem "Pilgrims" by Robert William Service.
Quote of the week: "I like cotton. I just like cotton."
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Who wants to annoy a doctor? Larry does. Or at least it works out that way. Hear how Larry's crabby day turned into a chance to make someone else happy. Then Larry talks about the Hitchcock classic "Rear Window." And for Poetry Corner, Larry recites another one for OctPOEber, "To One Departed" by Poe. https://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "I'm not complaining about that. I can if you want."
Larry gives advice for the upcoming Halloween season. Just be a hero and let them have candy. We also hear about the fun of buying Santa Claus a drink and the goofballs at the United Nations. Then Larry talks about the Walter Matthau classic "Hopscotch" and recites the poem "Love's Labour Lost." https://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "I don't like demons. I don't like devils. I don't like being afraid."
Larry tries to suppress his crankiness as he endures a nearly comical string of wacky hotel rooms in Seattle. Then Larry recites "A Very Short Song" by Dorothy Parker and talks about the great John Wayne movie "The Searchers."
Quote of the week: "I'm happy. I always am except when I'm really cranky." LarryMillerShow.com
Larry has peaceful and nearly spiritual experience at the supermarket and tries to understand why and how to make it happen again. Then, Larry talks about a great scene from the movie "Miller's Crossing" and recites the Shakespeare Sonnet "So Are You To My Thoughts As Food To Life." http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Sonnet 75, that wasn't the first one he wrote. There were 74 before that."
Larry is reverse stalked by a woman at Ralphs while he searches for oregano. Then he recites "Nurse's Song" by William Blake, and talks about the movie "It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World." And if you want, he'll bring you a banana for your monkey.
Quote of the week: "He kicked the bucket."
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Larry goes skiing, crashes and wakes up thinking he's an Eisenhower. Also, he recites the poem "Destiny" by Emma Lazarus and then talks about the classic movie "Dead End."
Quote of the week: "One of your singers here just hit a parked snow plow."
Larry's been to a bunch of Yankees games, but the best game he ever saw was far, far away from a big stadium. Hear about that and "the baseball clap." Also, Larry is flummoxed by what he's supposed to do on Labor Day. Then he recites the poem "Comfort" by the great William Service and talks about the movie "The Final Season" starring... Larry Miller?
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Larry gives a tribute to John McCain and Neil Simon. Then he talks about being in "The Odd Couple" in high school, and later meeting Neil Simon and starring in one of his plays on Broadway! We also hear about Larry's new doctor and a very gracious parking attendant. And Larry talks about the Clint Eastwood classic "Sudden Impact" and recites "Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep" by Mary Elizabeth Frye. https://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "It's going to look like you wrote with your foot."
Larry likes watching the Rifleman and taking a shower more than going to the beach. In his 30 years in Southern California, he's only been to the beach twice. Find out why. Then Larry talks about the classic movie "The Westerners" and recites "A Thing Of Beauty By John Keats."
Quote of the week: "It was like the Washington Monument with stairs."
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Never follow an animal act and you can't hide a body in the back of smart of a car. These are a few of the pearls of wisdom imparted by Larry on this week's show. Larry also recites "The Outlaws" by Rudyard Kipling and talks about a great moment from the classic spaghetti western "Once Upon A Time In The West." https://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "It's Latin for OK, if we have to."
Larry talks about how much he loves station wagons and Chevelles! Plus crashing his parents' station wagon and buying himself a brand new Mercury Colony Park wagon! Then hear about Larry's friend who didn't know he was on fire. Speaking of cars, Larry recounts a great scene from the classic Steve McQueen movie "The Getaway."And now, with further ado. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "But he didn't know he was on fire."
Hear about the time Larry hitchhiked to college in western Massachusetts. Did he live to tell the tale? Tune in and find out! Then Larry knocks over tent poles in his family car. And find out what to do if a bully kicks sand in your face at the beach! Finally, we hear about the classic musical "Fiddle on the Roof" and Larry recites the poem " When You Are Old" by Yeats. https://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Fifty dollars is fifty dollars."
It's too hot to be happy. That's all there is to it. Yet, Larry makes mirth with tales of some of the hottest and coldest days of his life. In honor of the scorching sun, Larry recites "Summer Sun" by Robert Louis Stevenson. And he talks about the great World War II movie "They Were Expendable." https://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "It's a-hot out there."
Larry tells the story of how he almost had to wear William Conrad's pants during his first appearance on The Tonight Show. Then he talks about his favorite scene from the classic movie "Gentleman Jim." And in honor of the heat wave that's gripping the nation, he recites "I Know I Am But Summer To Your Heart" by Edna St. Vincent Millay.
https://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Let's talk about this. Can we turn the cameras off?"
Larry can make a duplicate key by eye, but somehow can't identify his own car. Plus a tribute to Alfred E. Newman and Butterfly McQueen. Then Larry talks about the great war movie "Kelly's Heroes" and recites the poem "A Boy And His Dad" by Edgar Albert Guest.
Quote of the week: "Martians could land and say, "German?"
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Why shooting bottle rockets doesn’t count as college credit, Larry’s dog goes to the dentist and why you should never work with dogs, babies or W.C. Fields. And Larry recites the full poem “The Defence of Fort McHenry,” which is the source of the lyrics for “The Star Spangled Banner.” And on Magic Movie Moment, Larry talks about the Errol Flynn classic, “Robin Hood.”
Quote of the week: “The backyard fireworks of his idiot friend.”
Larry talks about Casey Stengel testifying before congress and not being able to find the meat in a dish he ordered at a food court. Then he talks about the classic movie "Witness For The Prosecution" and recites the poem "My Heart Is In The Highlands" by Robert Burns.
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Quote of the week: "The Great Khan would want me to have one."
Larry unsuccessfully tries to get the new Phillip Roth book and waxes nostalgic for his favorite bookstores. Then Larry talks about one of his favorite moments from the Clint Eastwood classic, "The Outlaw Josey Wales."
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Quote of the week: "And if you don't understand that, you're clearly not married."
Larry gets a new air conditioner and guess who installed it! Ahem, not him. The we find out if Playboy ever did a "Women of Milleronia" issue. Also, two different waiters tell Larry's he's crazy for asking for herring -- but for opposite reasons. On Magic Movie Moment, Larry talks about the Scarlett Johannsen movie "Lucy." And he recites "A Summer Afternoon" by James Whitcomb Riley.
Quote of the week: "This guy really put the wazoo on me."
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Larry tells about the many drinking holidays dedicated to him on his remote, secret volcano island. Plus, we hear about Larry's excitement about his family all being under one roof for the summer. Then he talks about the great Henry Fonda movie "The Grapes Of Wrath" and recites the poem "Nature, The Gentlest Mother" by Emily Dickinson.
https://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "I'd just never seen them smile."
Larry can't figure out if beach blanket bingo is fun or dirty or both. And Larry longs for the house he grew up as he anticipates his two sons coming home next week. Then Larry talks about the classic movie "Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid" and recites the poem, "Midnight On The Great Western" by Thomas Hardy. https://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "They open the bar at the American Legion and everyone has nine beers."
Larry has a dust-up with a busboy who won't stop trying to give him water and he bluffs his way through a dinner conversation he can't hear. Plus, we announce the winner of the contest to "Win Larry's Money!" Could it be you? Then Larry talks about the Oscar-winning film "In The Heat Of the Night" and then recites the poem A "Thunderstorm In Town" by Thomas Hardy. https://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "I don't hear them, so I'm thrilled."
In tribute to the passing of Bruno Sammartino, Larry talks of his love of wrestling and helping Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart recover from a late night of mirth on the streets of New Orleans! Plus his personal encounters with wrestling legends Hulk Hogan and The Fabulous Moolah.
On Magic Movie Moment, Larry talks about the classic "Requiem For A Heavyweight" with Anthony Quinn. Then he recites the poem, "Carpe Diem" by Robert Frost.
Quote of the week: "Hey Moolah! Come on up here and get your lunch!"
LarryMillerShow.com
Larry gives the backstory on what exactly Cinco de Mayo is all about and wonders why the U.S. doesn't have a home-grown holiday dedicated to drinking. Then we hear about the classic western "Shane" and Larry recites the powerful poem "The Cities Of The Plain" by John Greenleaf Whittier.
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Quote of the week: "I always wanted to play one of those way too thick guitars."
Larry explains the greatness behind the Christmas episode of "Wagon Train" and tells stories about repeatedly being enlisted into making a minyan. Then he analyzes the classic movie "Treasure of the Sierra Madre."
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Win Larry's money! Well, not all of it, or much of it. Larry's giving away the change from the console in his car. Tune in for details about how you can win it! Also, Larry finally discovers the wonders of MeTV and the great Svengoolie. Then he talks about "Chariots of Fire" and recites "Running To Paradise" by Yeats.
Quote of the week: "Good luck now, potatohead."
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Larry ponders the demise of the Easter Parade and talks about where Easter eggs come from. And find out what a "chicken flicker" is and why you probably don't want to be one. Plus, Larry talks about The Charge of The Light Brigade on Poetry Corner and on MMM. The Jetsons meets the Flintstones has nothing on this crossover!
Quote of the week: "We might just say it sits there."
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Larry gets a new car, but not before moving a mountain of spare change out of his old one. And Larry ponders what ever happened to milk men and paper boys. Then we hear about the classic Yul Brenner movie "The Kind and I" and Larry recites the poem "The Winds of Fate" by Ella Wheeler Wilcox.
Quote of the week: "That was wild. That was like getting a Rolls Royce or something."
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Take your kick me signs and throw them in Volcano #1, because Larry suffers no April's Fools and we'll hear all about that. He also talks about the two best steaks he's ever had. You won't believe the answer! (You might.)
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Quote of the week: "That sounds like a police car on Mars."
Larry tells more tales about the simple pleasures of a perfect steak and being baffled in an Italian restaurant. And we hear about one of his favorite scenes from "Fast Times At Ridgemont High," and Phoebe Cates is NOT in it, if you can believe that.
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Quote of the week: "Now I'm in the role of, well, frightened husband."
Larry tells about the time he and Johnny Carson were wowed backstage at the Tonight Show by the beauty of Dana Delaney! Wow! Plus Larry recites the poem "The Echoing Green" by William Blake and talks about the movie "Drums Along The Mohawk."
Quote of the week: "The luckiest gown in history."
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Larry has a bonding moment with a street guy -- or something? We're not sure what happened. Then Larry finds the one minimall with no bathrooms whatsoever and is also ribbed for being "the doorman" who can't operate an elevator. And he recites "Spring" by William Blake and talks about the classic '60s movie "Easy Rider."
LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "I've been 17 minutes late for 12 years."
Larry talks about how much he enjoyed his low-key anniversary. No madcap antics or zany hijinks this year! Then Larry recites "A Lady Who Thinks She Is Thirty" by Ogden Nash and talks about the movie "To Sir With Love."
Quote of the week: "If it doesn't work out. I'll kill you."
Thanks to ButcherBox for supporting The Larry Miller Show! Receive $20 off your first box and 2 pounds of FREE Ground Beef in every box for the life of your subscription by going to butcherbox.com/larry and entering larry at checkout. Available for a limited time.
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Larry doesn't know how to buy presents. A spa or a hair thing or a nail thing? And find out how they get Marines to make "that face" in their portraits. Speaking of birthdays, Larry recites the poem "A Birthday" by Christina Georgina Rossetti. Then Larry discusses the classic movie "The Oxbow Incident."
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Quote of the week: "Who doesn't like traffic cops on Mars?"
George Wallace gives Larry advice on how to tip like a cool operator. Guess how it goes when Larry tries it? And Larry tells a story about not being cool trying to impress Merv Griffin.
This episode is brought to you by Shower Hockey Monthly magazine and Woodbury Soap. "Whether it's in the shower or on the rink, nobody is soapier than Woodbury! My Woodbury, that's good soap!"
Quote of the week: "Yeah but that's Lynda Carter."
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Hear Larry's misadventures with Japanese food including popping a ball of wasabi into his mouth like it was a cherry and being wildly grossed out by uni. Plus, a joke about a guy eating a bald eagle!
Quote of the week: "Like pink and you know it has some ketchup in it."
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Larry has a magical experience eating a perfect steak at the counter at Mel's Diner. Then Larry talks about going to Musso & Frank with the director of a new movie he's in. The name of the movie? "The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then The Bigfoot."
Quote of the week: "You think you're alright? You're not."
Thanks to ButcherBox for supporting The Larry Miller Show! Receive 2 FREE Filet Mignons, Free Bacon and $20 off your order by going to butcherbox.com/larry and entering larry at checkout. This is over a $50 value and available for a limited time.
A cold man in New Jersey aggressively offers to change places with Larry. Also, he talks about the classic Sean Connery James Bond movie, "From Russia With Love" and recites the poem "Justice" by Rudyard Kipling.
Quote of the week: "It was just, well, creepy."
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Larry is working this week with the only guy in the world as cool as Robert Wagner, namely, Robert Wagner. Hear about tales from the set!
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It never rains on Milleronia, but it's raining like crazy in Southern California! Larry talks about the big rain and how people lose their minds during it.
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Traffic tips galore! Larry tells you how to win a street race that you're not even trying to win and how to beat the traffic jam in a parking lot after a play. Plus, an ode to the great Bob Einstein and why Larry would rather being home saying goodnight to his kid than just about anything else. And on Magic Movie Moment, we hear about the flick "Rio Bravo." http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "I'm working with William Shatner."
Our holiday special is here with Larry's annual retelling of his classic Christmas story, "Does He Drink Coffee?" Then Larry exposes the true tyranny and danger of the mistletoe plant. Plus, we hear about the Bogart movie "High Sierra." Thanks for listening, everyone! Have a happy holiday season and we'll see you in the new year! LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "It's a parasite. Happy so far?"
Hear about Larry's tough friend Ali from Libya and a shopping bag full of cash! Larry will make you laugh, Ali could make you cry. Plus some fond memories of the classic Christmas movie "It's a Wonderful Life." And Larry recites "The Lover's Petition" by Emerson. LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "They were as blonde as vikings."
Larry talks about the funeral of George HW Bush, a very thoughtful gift he received and the origin of the Dungmeister name. On Magic Movie Moment, we hear about the classic gangster movie "Little Caesar" and Larry recites the poem "Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep."
Quote of the week: "When you put the words jackhammer and concrete together, it won't be quiet."
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Forget about the 12 days of Christmas, Larry has 12 meals of Thanksgiving leftovers. He reaches past the vegetables and cheeses with names of foreign countries and becomes a prisoner of leftover turkey. Turkey that was supposed to be in his wife's soup! Yipe!
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Quote of the week: "It's great to have your own island. I can't say that enough."
What should you eat at Thanksgiving? Everything! Larry recounts Thanksgivings of this year and yesteryear, including tales of Uncle Joe always being late. And he also mulls over what is the sixth level of drinking if you live in a trailer park. Then he talks about the movie Exodus and recites the poem "A Golden Day" by Paul Laurence Dunbar. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "WE don't need string beans. We eat those all week."
Larry lives with a jackhammer outside his door and lives to tell about it. Then he gives a few words about Veterans Day and the 100th anniversary of the armistice to end World War I. Larry recites "The Veterans" by Rudyard Kipling and talks about the Gary Cooper movie "Sgt. York." http://LarryMillerShow.com
Thanks to ButcherBox for supporting The Larry Miller Show! For $20 off your first box and a package of FREE bacon in every box for the life of your subscription, go to ButcherBox.com/larry and enter larry at checkout!
Quote of the week: "Volcano #2, you get burned up and yelled at."
Larry votes and wonders if it's stupid or brilliant. Hear the answer "they" don't "want" you to find "out" about!!! For the start of autumn, Larry recites "An Autumn—Blooming Rose" by Alfred Austin. And on Magic Movie Moment, we hear about the classic Frankenheimer movie "The Manchurian Candidate."
Thanks to ButcherBox for supporting The Larry Miller Show! Receive free bacon and $20 off your first box by going to butcherbox.com/larry and entering larry at checkout.
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Quote of the week: "It looks like an entire shoe on his shoulder."
Larry finally realizes he doesn't hate Halloween as much as he thought. We continue OctPOEber with Larry reciting The Valley Of Unrest by Poe. Then Larry talks about a magic movie moment from "The Silence Of The Lambs."
Thanks to ButcherBox for supporting The Larry Miller Show! Receive free bacon and $20 off your first box by going to butcherbox.com/larry and entering larry at checkout.
Quote of the week: "Some kind of, well, maniac."
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For the start of the World Series, Larry re-tells a simple but hilarious about seeing a fistfight at a big league ballpark. In continuing with OctPOEber, Larry recites "El Dorado" by Poe and then he talks about the movie "The Rookie."
Quote of the week: "Some vodka. What? What? Are you stupid?"
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Who wants to annoy a doctor? Larry does. Or at least it works out that way. Hear how Larry's crabby day turned into a chance to make someone else happy. Then Larry talks about the Hitchcock classic "Rear Window." And for Poetry Corner, Larry recites another one for OctPOEber, "To One Departed" by Poe. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "I'm not complaining about that. I can if you want."
Larry talks about his childhood bootleg Batman costume, then he teaches you to huck eggs like a pro. Everything from padding the order at the dirve through dairy store window to how to clean your friend's Dad's car with your shirt. And he talks about the movie "The Shooter" and recites "The City of Sin" by Edgar Allan Poe! http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Oh, look. It's Satan!"
Don't be a boar! Tune in and hear how Larry returns from Tucson with a fear of cacti and wild pigs. That leads to a discussion of Larry's newest volcano, volcano #3! And Larry does an inspired recitation of the poem Gunga Din, then talks about the movie of the same name. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "They make the Javelina pigs look like tea time."
Larry has peaceful and nearly spiritual experience at the supermarket and tries to understand why and how to make it happen again. Then, Larry talks about a great scene from the movie "Miller's Crossing" and recites the Shakespeare Sonnet "So Are You To My Thoughts As Food To Life." http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Sonnet 75, that wasn't the first one he wrote. There were 74 before that."
A tribute to Burt Reynolds, Smokey and The Bandit, Georgia and the south. And hear about the time Larry insulted a drug dealer in Atlanta! http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "It was a good bar to stand at and drink for eight hours."
Larry tells the story of the biggest laugh he ever had, at a classical musical recital when he was a teenager. And hear about his trip to the quiet confines of a watch store. Then Larry talks about the great movie, "The Untouchables" and recites the poem "I Am In Need Of Music" by Elizabeth Bishop. And has a hoofer ever ankled a biopic that went on to be boffo at the B.O.? Tune in and find out! http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote Of The Week: "Here's a million dollars, just stand up."
Larry gives a tribute to John McCain and Neil Simon. Then he talks about being in "The Odd Couple" in high school, and later meeting Neil Simon and starring in one of his plays on Broadway! We also hear about Larry's new doctor and a very gracious parking attendant. And Larry talks about the Clint Eastwood classic "Sudden Impact" and recites "Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep" by Mary Elizabeth Frye. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "It's going to look like you wrote with your foot."
Larry explains his absence for the last two weeks and gets ready to send his youngest son off to college. Plus a tribute to the late Jerry Lewis and Dick Gregory. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Charles Manson would be hired today. Someone from Jupiter would be hired."
Larry tells about trying to accomplish chores while in a pasta-fueled fugue state. And encounters a crazy woman man-handling cherries at the supermarket. Then Larry talks about "The Godfather II" and recites "If" by Rudyard Kipling. And don't ever sell that cow. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "They're not a backpack of cherries."
If laughter is the best medicine, how do people die laughing? And Larry does an ode to Thurman Munson and Walter Payton. Plus, we hear about the Marlon Brando classic "On The Waterfront" and Larry recites the poem "Sympathy" by Paul Lawrence Dunbar.
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Larry wonders if it's crazy to be crabby because of someone talking loud on their cell phone at the supermarket. And he makes an epic journey -- to the car wash. Also, Larry recites the classic poem Wynken, Blynken, And Nod by Eugene Field and then talks about the Garry Marshall movie "Overboard." http://LarryMillerShow.com
The dog days of summer get Larry wondering how we got by before air conditioning. Then Larry recalls an interesting conversation he had with Val Kilmer on the set of "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang." Then he discusses the movie "Tombstone" and recites the poem "On Dreaming" by John Newton.
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Quote of the week: "This joke is one year younger than God."
Larry ponders the decline of mud wrestling and classy strip club names. Then he reminisces about strippers in Montreal and comics who shoot bottle rockets out of their butts -- also in Montreal. He also recites the poem Sounds From The Baseball Field by Ella Wheeler Wilcox. http://LarryMillerShow.com
It was so hot, someone asked to be thrown into volcano #2 to cool off! Larry talks about the brutal SoCal heat and why local authorities won't allow him to install a weather control machine here in the U.S. We hear stories about old fashioned ways to beat the heat including sleeping on the balcony and cars with "455 air conditioning." As if that weren't enough, the Murphy twins are drinking again!
On Poetry Corner, Larry reads a parody of Longfellow's famous poem "A Psalm of Life," which involves chickens. And on Magic Movie Moment, we hear about "That Hamilton Woman."
Quote Of The Week: "We might have gone out or held hands. I'll stop there"
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Special episode recorded and released on Independence Day! Larry talks about his tradition of visiting veteran graves on the 4th and why his parents don't like getting hit by bottle rockets. And is there really no such thing as a stupid question? Then Larry recites Old Ironsides by Oliver Wendell Holmes and talks about the instant classic 2012 movie Lincoln, starring Daniel Day Lewis.
Quote of week: "You know, things to roll and smoke."
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Larry summons Momus, the god of laughter to find out if Mercury is in Uranus. Then Larry talks about the Marx Brothers movie "Room Service" and asks for YOUR help in picking out a wedding present. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "They can look at a table leg for seven hours."
Larry gets the perfect present for a dead head's Father's Day! Also in tribute to Dads, Larry recites "Fathers" by Edgar Albert Guest. And we hear a little bit about Larry's time on the set of "Ten Things I Hate About You." http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Every Year: Old Spice"
Larry comments on the sad deaths of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade, and does a solemn reading of the poem "Despair" by Percy Bysshe Shelley that you won't want to miss. Then he talks about the Clint Eastwood classic "Heartbreak Ridge." Also, he muses on the greatness of naps and wonders if cavemen had time for them.
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Quote of the week: "We need portholes."
How to have the time of your life in the fruit section of Ralphs, even if your kid would rather be somewhere else. And did you know Abbott & Costello's "Buck Privates" was used for propaganda? Then Larry recites "A June Night" by Emma Lazarus.
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Quote of the week: "That wouldn't count as much. We're both married."
Larry talks about the genius of The Marx Brothers, specifically the movie "A Night At The Opera," specifically the stateroom scene.
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Quote of the week: Everyone in the congregation would say, "Why has a bear come in here?"
When hookers took over Larry's neighborhood in NYC, he didn't even notice. The neighborhood kids definitely noticed and you won't believe what they did! Also hear about Larry's trip to visit his son in Boulder, plus Larry's other son, the Marine, says a quick hello on the air! Then Larry talks about the great William Holden classic movie, "Stalag 17," directed by Billy Wilder. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "I didn't notice any hookers, isn't that stupid?"
Larry gets in line with all of the dumb husbands for Mother's Day. And Larry recites the moving Melville poem "Gettysburg." Then Larry does a loving tribute the classic musical movie "Showboat."
Quote of the Week: "Every Father was a chubby comedy writer."
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If Larry was a wrestler, what would his nickname be? And Larry reveals the history behind the most recent drinking holiday. On Magic Movie Moment, we hear about the Kevin Bacon movie "Taking Chances," and on The Poetry Corner, Larry recites "1914 V: The Soldier" by Rupert Brooke.
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Quote Of The Week: "Wait, no they don't. They drink for three days."
Kids don't understand why adults hold stairs in so much contempt, but Larry explains it. Plus, Larry talks about an audition, his never-ending love of Hollywood and family vacations. Also, Larry recites "Spring Comes to Murray Hill" by Ogden Nash and talks about the classic Stanley Kubrick movie Spartacus.
Quote of the week: "I was dreaming about Ann Margaret or something."
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In tribute to the passing of Bruno Sammartino, Larry talks of his love of wrestling and helping Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart recover from a late night of mirth on the streets of New Orleans! Plus his personal encounters with wrestling legends Hulk Hogan and The Fabulous Moolah.
On Magic Movie Moment, Larry talks about the classic "Requiem For A Heavyweight" with Anthony Quinn. Then he recites the poem, "Carpe Diem" by Robert Frost.
Quote of the week: "Hey Moolah! Come on up here and get your lunch!"
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Hear about the booze / fire alarm in Larry's old frat. Plus tributes to Harry "The Hat" Anderson, Barbara Bush and R. Lee Ermey. Of course, Larry talks about his favorite parts of Full Metal Jacket. He also recites a poem by Harlem Renaissance writer Claude McKay. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Ahhh. Ice cold."
Find out why Larry was happy about getting stuffed into a coffin, covered in gunk and left out in the freezing cold! Surprise, it involves a fraternity. Plus lots of love for Grace Kelly as Larry discusses the movies "High Noon" and a little bit of "Rear Window." And how come nobody puts records on cereal boxes anymore? http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "I'd fly her out to Monaco, too. And I've never been to Monaco."
Larry is almost run over by aggro cyclists and long boats at a regatta in Long Beach! In keeping with the nautical theme, Larry recites, "On The Sea" by John Keats and in keeping with the recent Passover, he talks about the classic movie "The Ten Commandments." Finally, keeping with nothing in particular, he tells a joke about a fainting nun.
Quote of the week: "Wow, wow and yikes."
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Larry tells us why strippers and comedians get along so well and why Seattle really is the best. And, are there any drive-in movie theaters left? Also, Larry discusses what Soylent Green is made of and recites the lovely poem Paris In Spring by Sara Teasdale.
Quote of the week: "I've gotta zip up more."
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Larry has a curious dream about his Dad. He tells stories of his Dad trying to get crooks to go straight and an innocent young Larry believing that transistor radios really do fall off the back of trucks. And speaking of dreams, Larry recites "A Dream" by Edgar Allan Poe. Then he talks about the movie "Charlie Wilson's War."
Quote of the week: "He made Luca Brasi look like Pat Boone."
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You think YOU got thrown off by daylight savings time? Larry lost a half a day! And Larry recites the poem, "A Prayer In Spring" by Robert Frost and talks about the movie "My Darling Clementine."
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Quote of the week: "50 years after you take that flight, you won't be telling your grandchildren."
Larry talks about celebrating his 25th wedding anniversary with a nice, quiet dinner at home with his wife. And we hear about an interesting anniversary tradition that Larry hopes his family will continue. Keeping in that theme, Larry recites the poem "Anniversary" by Australian poet Gwen Harwood. And in a very different theme, he talks about the Orson Welles film noir classic, "A Touch Of Evil."
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Quote of the week: "I don't know if that pan is French."
Larry doesn't know how to buy presents. A spa or a hair thing or a nail thing? And find out how they get Marines to make "that face" in their portraits. Speaking of birthdays, Larry recites the poem "A Birthday" by Christina Georgina Rossetti. Then Larry discusses the classic movie "The Oxbow Incident."
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Quote of the week: "Who doesn't like traffic cops on Mars?"
Larry loves Lindsey Vonn but not the winter Olympics. Hear about an acting tip that Larry got from Roy Orbach on the set of "Law and Order." And it relates to this week's Magic Movie Moment from the Humphrey Bogart classic "The Caine Mutiny." Finally, Larry recites a great poem for a chilly day -- "Emmonsail's Heath In Winter" by John Clare.
Quote of the week: "How did the third grader get in there?"
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How hard should husbands and boyfriends try on Valentine's Day? Really hard, you knuckleheads! Larry overcomes his own knickleheadedness to find a good Valentine present. Hear about the sheiks of oil jewelry store and the history of Valentine's Day. And Larry talks about the movie "Shakespeare in Love" and recites the poem "Two Valentines" by Eugene Field. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "27 thousand dollars for a thing?"
Larry saws logs through one of the best Super Bowls ever and doesn't regret it! And we give a tip of the hat to the late great John Mahoney, discussing Mahoney's life and his role in the classic movie "Moonstruck." Then Larry recites the dark poem "Scotland's Winter" by Edwin Muir. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "And it's halftime."
Larry talks about the Larry Miller Show field trip to the Batman 1966 museum exhibit and Colonel Jeff's first trip to The Magic Castle! In the spirit of football championships, he talks about the classic gridiron movie "Jim Thorpe, All-American." In honor of the super fancy blue red blood moon something or other, he recites "The Moon" by Thoreau. http://LarryMillerShow.com
A cold man in New Jersey aggressively offers to change places with Larry. Also, he talks about the classic Sean Connery James Bond movie, "From Russia With Love" and recites the poem "Justice" by Rudyard Kipling. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "It was just, well, creepy."
Larry tells of his trip to Pink's hot dogs to get a Burt Ward dog. Plus, an emotional discussion of the classic James Cagney movie "Angels With Dirty Faces." Then, Larry recites "Patience Taught By Nature" by Elizabeth Barrett Browning.
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Larry talks about eating fried chicken and waffles at Bob's Big Boy, and Colonel Jeff meeting Burt Ward at Pink's hot dogs. And Larry is giddy with anticipation for the upcoming 1966 Batman exhibit at the Hollywood Museum. The Larry talks about the movie "Take The Money and Run" and recites "To Mrs Reynolds' Cat" by John Keats.
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Quote of the week: "Good, traditional, classic, annoying hot dogs.'
Larry offers warm new year wishes to a freezing nation and gives us a new way to look at new year's resolutions. And he recites Shakespeare's tribute to winter, Blow, Blow Thou Winter Wind. Then he talks about the classic disaster movie "The Poseidon Adventure."
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Quote of the week: "You really need a jacket that holds your arms down."
Larry is on vacation for the holidays, so enjoy this little present! We'll see you in the new year. Nominum quid geminus?
LarryMillerShow.com
Larry continues the tradition of telling his beloved, true Christmas story, "Does He Drink Coffee?" Will Larry finally "go clean" in this year's version? Then Larry talks about the classic movie "White Christmas" and recites the poem "I heard The Bells On Christmas Day" by Henry Wordsworth Longfellow.
Quote of the week: "I think you need somebody's panties in your pocket."
Is there such a thing as sending Christmas cards too early? Find out what makes Putin smile and hear about Larry working on a special Christmas episode of a TV show. Plus a brief tribute to Alan Thicke.
On Poetry Corner, Larry recites "The Cry Of A Lost Soul" by John Greenleaf Whittier and talks about "The Song Of Bernadette" on Magic Movie Moment. (FYI this episode is not on OPSEC.)
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Quote of the week: "Fall back, spring ahead and always bring a sweater."
Hear about Larry's tough friend Ali from Libya and a shopping bag full of cash! Larry will make you laugh, Ali could make you cry. Plus some fond memories of the classic Christmas movie "It's a Wonderful Life." And Larry recites "The Lover's Petition" by Emerson. LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "They were as blonde as vikings."
What should you eat at Thanksgiving? Everything! Larry recounts Thanksgivings of this year and yesteryear, including tales of Uncle Joe always being late. And he also mulls over what is the sixth level of drinking if you live in a trailer park. Then he talks about the movie Exodus and recites the poem "A Golden Day" by Paul Laurence Dunbar. LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "WE don't need string beans. We eat those all week."
Larry talks about why the best Thanksgiving meal is the one at midnight, when you're sneaking into the fridge for leftovers for the first time! And why the simplest recipes are the best and why no vegetables are allowed!
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Larry dances with Treat Williams in NYC and lobbies for free cheeseburgers for veterans. And are J-Lo and A-Rod the most NYC couple ever? Plus Larry talks about the Hitchcock classic movie "Dial M For Murder" and recites "A Poem About Myself" by John Keats. LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Yes, I know I have no hair."
Larry faces a tough moment after a crazy week and takes stock in his life. And we have a first for TLMS, as The Poetry Corner and Magic Movie Moment both have the same title -- Splendor In The Grass. (Although one of them has a superfluous number of vowels in its spelling.) Tune in, drop out and don't step into a volcano.
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Larry goes to New York and sings the praises of reflexology, and less surprisingly, Katz's deli. Then he takes umbrage on baseball beards and Halloween. And Larry recites "El Dorado" by Edgar Allan Poe and talks about the movie Mr. Smith Goes To Washington." http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "These beards are from tobacco road."
Larry is off shooting a movie in New York, but isn't too busy to call in and chat on the phone at the top of the show! Then we dive into a classic Larry where we talk about not talking about politics. And then something a lot less heated, the World Series. Chicago and Cleveland -- two cities you'll never have to say "Nominum Quid Geminus?" in. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Even they don't want your vote. You're too empty and boring to listen to."
Larry gets a facial and feels good. Then someone shuts off a Yankees playoff game (with bases loaded) and he turns into bigfoot. And speaking of baseball, Larry talks about the great movie, "Field Of Dreams." Then he recites "The Good, Great Man" by Samuel Taylor Coleridge. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the Week: "I ordered a chicken and mushroom thing."
Larry doesn't like to be scared, but he likes the Grateful Dead. Go figure! Hear tales of sinking row boats and driving in the snow in Colorado.
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Quote of the week: "The Rockies didn't get us."
Larry recounts tales of The Playboy Mansion and time at comedy club condos. Then he gets ready to go to a regatta, and deals with his disappointment when he finds out it does not involve eating Italian cheese. On Magic Movie Moment, we hear about the 1956 film "Friendly persuasion." On Poetry Corner, Larry recites "Imitated From Ossian" by Samuel Taylor Coleridge. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "I hope it was worth it for you to be alone for the rest of your life."
Have coffee TV commercials gone extinct? Shocking! Positively shocking. And what ever happened to the percolator? Larry ruminates about this and also why Oddjob had to schlep Goldfinger's golf clubs around in the hot southern sun, in a tuxedo, no less! It was an odd job for Oddjob.
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Don't be a boar! Tune in and hear how Larry returns from Tucson with a fear of cacti and wild pigs. That leads to a discussion of Larry's newest volcano, volcano #3! And Larry does an inspired recitation of the poem Gunga Din, then talks about the movie of the same name. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "They make the Javelina pigs look like tea time."
Larry loses his car at Ralph's and then hits the road with Seinfeld. Then find out which Juan one is wanted -- on the phone. And Larry talks about the classic movie Miss Miniver and recites "Prouder Man Than You" by the great Australian bush poet Henry Lawson.
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Quote of the week: "He's three years old. I don't know where he gets it."
Larry switches to a percolator coffee pot and enjoys life in the slow lane. Plus a history lesson on Labor Day. Then Larry talks about the great movie Witness and recites Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening by Robert Frost.
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Quote of the week: "Hey, somebody go move that ox."
Larry returns from dropping his son off at college with a stern warning for all mascots -- do not rub the bald man's head! And Larry recites the epic Emerson poem Alphonso of Castille and talks about the classic college football movie Rudy. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "I think I had too much sriracha on that burger."
Larry explains his absence for the last two weeks and gets ready to send his youngest son off to college. Plus a tribute to the late Jerry Lewis and Dick Gregory. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Charles Manson would be hired today. Someone from Jupiter would be hired."
Larry's morning routine is messed up by mainland politics, which are unlike the easy election machinations on Milleronia! Larry talks about boozy molls, Key Largo, phony phone calls and why you're not allowed to swear on a walkie talkie. And finally, Larry recites an amazing poem, "The House With Nobody In It" by Joyce Kilmer.
Quote of the Week: "Is Bob Gaelic there?"
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry ponders the magic of dogs. They are sweet and cuddly one minute, then scrapping brawlers the next. Also, the cuteness and lack of durability of dog toys is lost on Larry. Ever wonder what happens when a blonde speeder is pulled over by a blonde cop? And when is it too soon to think about going back to school? And congrats to Ollie Dungmeister, foreman of Volcano #2! He's retiring after 50 years of happy service! http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "People like that run for congress."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
A young Larry is roughed up by some state troopers just for politely asking for one little cigarette. OK, so he didn't ask politely and it happened while he was under arrest, but still! And Larry talks about an upcoming part in a movie. Then we hear about the movie "Inherit The Wind" and Larry recites "A Very Short Song" by Dorothy Parker.
Quote of the week: "Give me a cigarette, you BLANKING BLANK."
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The dog days of summer get Larry wondering how we got by before air conditioning. Then Larry recalls an interesting conversation he had with Val Kilmer on the set of "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang." Then he discusses the movie "Tombstone" and recites the poem "On Dreaming" by John Newton.
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Quote of the week: "This joke is one year younger than God."
Larry gives a tip of the hat to Martin Landau and talks about his recent trip to NYC and making sure you give yourself a break and make yourself feel great every not and again. We hear about Martin Landau in "North By Northwest." Of Poetry Corner, Larry recites "Ultima Thule" by Wordsworth.
Quote of the week: "A guest, wink wink."
Larry returns from a road trip to NYC and Kentucky, one of which was Daniel Boone country. Tune in to find out which! And hear the tale of Colonel Jeff's long, long, long day, which included breaking into a guest's car after recording with Alison Rosen and a Peter Gunn marathon. Larry talks about the movie "Big Jake" and recites the moving poem, "A City's Death." http://LarryMillerShow.com
Larry is pretty excited about his boss new toaster, tells some lesser-known facts about the Fourth of July and explains why he can't resist writing his name in wet cement.
For The Poetry Corner, Larry recites "Dirge For A Soldier," then talks about the Sam Peckinpah classic western "Ride The High Country." http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "I'm telling everybody!"
Why hasn't street sweeping changed in 80 years? And are Fuller Brush men extinct now? On Poetry Corner, Larry recites the great poem "Hard Luck" by Edgar Albert Guest. And we hear about the movie "How The West Was Won."
Quote of the week: "Lots of love and action. Like your house, and mine."
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Larry takes his Marine son to the airport for his latest deployment. And Larry tells stories from the set of The Princess Diaries. For Poetry Corner, Larry recites, "Waltzing Matilda." For Magic Movie Moment, we hear about the classic movie, "The Best Years Of Our Lives." http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "That may mean something in actual Italian."
Larry explores grouchiness and the empty nest phenomenon as his youngest son gets ready to graduate from high school. For Poetry Corner, Larry recites "Andy's Gone With Cattle" by the great Australian poem Henry Lawson. On Magic Movie Moment, we hear about the new Wonder Woman. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "I'll call the Amazons. That's a meeting I can get."
Hear Larry's review of Wonder Woman and a nod to the anniversary of D-Day. Then Larry recites George Henry Boker's "Sonnet XXX" (which is not a dirty poem, by the way). And we hear about the Scarlette Johansen movie "Lucy." http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Downtown? That's not good news for anybody."
Larry has high expectations for the new Wonder Woman movie and talks about his love of Wonder Woman. Plus Larry recites another Ogden Nash poem and waxes nostalgic for the stop-motion ancient monsters in Clash Of The Titans.
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Quote Of The Week: "This rooster is in it for business."
Larry gives a tip of the hat to the late great Roger Moore. Plus a remembrance of the anniversary of The Brooklyn Bridge and Grauman's Chinese Theater and his time spent at both. And Larry recites the moving poem "Before Vicksburg" by George Henry Boker. Then he talks about the classic movie "The Fighting Sullivans."
Quote Of The Week: "I need a limo, but also one for my elephant."
Larry gets in line with all of the dumb husbands for Mother's Day. And Larry recites the moving Melville poem "Gettysburg." Then Larry does a loving tribute the classic musical movie "Showboat."
Quote of the Week: "Every Father was a chubby comedy writer."
http://LarryMillerShow.com
We have our first guest ever -- Larry's son who is about to be deployed overseas! But before that, hear about if Mr. Doorman stole the couch, the movie "Jaws," Larry's extremely broken toilet seat and what "Marine tough" is. (Hint: It has something to do with the broken toilet seat and hot sauce.)
Quote of the week: "I wasn't looking for it for free. Well, I was."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Kids don't understand why adults hold stairs in so much contempt, but Larry explains it. Plus, Larry talks about an audition, his never-ending love of Hollywood and family vacations. Also, Larry recites "Spring comes to Murray Hill" by Ogden Nash and talks about the classic Stanley Kubrick movie Spartacus.
Quote of the week: "I was dreaming about Ann Margaret or something."
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Larry gets a weekend all to himself with the family out of town and has the best time a man can have alone -- he does nothing. He also talks about the classic movie, The Blues Brothers. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Mr. Miller, did you bring enough for everyone?"
Larry does a tribute to the 75th anniversary of The Doolittle Raid and a tip of the hat to the late, great Don Rickles! Plus a glimpse of tax time on the island of Milleronia!
LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "I would drop my luggage to laugh."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry needs a new car and a '64 Fury III is not an option. Hear about the jailbird Irwin and the string of dicey used cars he sold Larry's dad. Then Larry talks about the movie West Side Story and the great poem "The New Colossus" by Emma Lazarus. Plus, tales of a miniature statue of liberty in Manhattan. This is another fun one!
http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of The Week: "He drove that until it De-Simca-ed itself."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry talks of his love for The Three Stooges and his son's recent promotion in the Marines. Plus, a discussion of the classic movie "Lady Eve." Then, Larry recites a sonnet by James Russell Lowell.
Quote of the week: "Wouldn't it be lavaly."
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Larry talks about the importance of appreciating the fleeting gift of good health. And he does another lap around the basepath, discussing "Pride of the Yankees" again. Plus we have some mountain man toughness, as he recites "A Hero" by Robert William Service.
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Quote of the week: "So-called huge people are usually idiots."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry has more trepidation about his son going to a St. Patrick's Day parade than when he was shipped overseas. Plus, some more drunk St. Patrick's anecdotes -- like his friend peeing on the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Then Larry recites the poem "A Dog's Mistake" by the great Australian bush poet Banjo Paterson, and discusses the Paul Newman classic movie "Hombre."
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Quote of the week: "Hey, they're drunk!"
Larry talks about his least favorite character in WWII documentaries, who happens to be his least favorite person maybe ever. Will you be surprised at who it is? Probably zero chance of that. Then, Larry recites a poem by the great Australian writer Henry Lawson and talks about the classic noir film "The Big Sleep." http://LarryMillerShow.com
Larry deconstructs a classic Alka Seltzer commercial and celebrates national pancake day at the INTERNATIONAL House of Pancakes! And then he talks about the Elizabeth Taylor epic Cleopatra and recites A Night Thought by William Wordsworth. http://LarryMillerShow.com
One of Larry's dogs gets skunked and lives to tell the tale. Plus some well-deserved admiration for Jill St. John. And Larry talks about watching World War II shows with his Marine son and celebrating his wife's birthday. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Larry turn clickbait into podbait and ruminates on his favorite babes from Star Trek! The Larry recites the classic poem "To A Waterfowl" by William Cullen Bryant, then asks and sings about how much is that doggy in the window. Plus, we discuss the Hope and Crosby classic, "The Road To Morocco." http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Someone must be casing the joint."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
A Valentine's Day ambush by Larry and why won't Larry throw out a hazelnut almond milk creamer even though it's absolutely disgusting? Plus, the story of the real St. Valentine. Then Larry recites a poem by the great beat poet Allen Ginsberg. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "It's fun to say, but not fun to drink."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry welcomes home his son from his first tour of duty in the Middle East. Plus a tribute to Professor Irwin Corey, Barbara Hale and John Hurt. And at some point, Larry does his first-ever Jim Morrison impression. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "I'm always willing to be suspicious at the drop of a hat."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
We give tip of the hat to the late Mary Tyler Moore and Miguel Ferrer. And Larry talks about seeing himself on an episode of Seinfeld while being on the road with Seinfeld. Now, let's get those corn flakes back in the box.
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Quote of the week: "If you can't fly in your underwear then, when can you?"
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry is baffled by the Iowa caucuses and the news coverage around them. Then, he owns up to having spent $100 on a bottle of wine. Was it worth it? Tune in to find out! And find out what the Rabbi said in Hawaii, what makes a mad day at black rock and hear the poem "Bury Me In A Free Land" by Frances Harper. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the Week: "They get a hurricane about every 40 minutes and it kills everyone."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Nineteen pretty women come to meet handsome firemen and find Larry telling jokes. Ture story. Larry explains why 13 portions of hot pastrami are about right and where he stands on the rinsing dishes before putting them in the dishwasher debate. Then he recites, "Fate" by Ralph Waldo Emerson and talks about a great moment from the 1964 classic movie "The Pink Panther."
Quote of the week: "I had pastrami on my mind."
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What's better than a snow day? Maybe an armistice. Plus a tribute to the late Carnegie Deli, where they would have served creamed herring. If only it were Jewish food. And Larry talks about Meryl Streep and Sophie's Choice on Magic Movie Moment. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "No one goes against me in weather wishes."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry gives a tip of the hat to Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds as he talks about his love of "Singing In The Rain" and working with Carrie Fisher in a writer's room. Also, find out if dogs celebrate new year's seven times a year or not and what happens when a gorilla walks into a bar. Plus a look into the secret NYE celebrations on Milleronia. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Whoa, that's meat."
The operating system update on the Milleronia weather machine did not go well. So, the studio is snowed in until after the New Year when the streets will be plowed with hot lava. Please enjoy this New Year's treat and we'll see you in 1937 or 2017, whichever comes first.
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Our annual Christmas Special is here with Larry's traditional re-telling of his famous Christmas story, "Does He Drink Coffee?" in which Larry tries to "go clean" for Christmas with the help of an Indian shop keeper. And we've got a bonus story about Larry eating hot peppers at a new Vietnamese restaurant. Finally, Larry recites "Twas The Night Before Christmas."
Enjoy, thanks for listening, a hearty nominum quid geminus to you! We'll see you in the new year!
Quote of the week: "I looked like a lounge singer in the '50s."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
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Is there such a thing as sending Christmas cards too early? Find out what makes Putin smile and hear about Larry working on a special Christmas episode of a TV show. Plus a brief tribute to Alan Thicke.
On Poetry Corner, Larry recites "The Cry Of A Lost Soul" by John Greenleaf Whittier and talks about "The Song Of Bernadette" on Magic Movie Moment. (FYI this episode is not on OPSEC.)
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Quote of the week: "Fall back, spring ahead and always bring a sweater."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
In honor of Pearl Harbor Day, Larry talks about the movie "From Here To Eternity" and Pearl Harbor vets. On Poetry Corner, Larry recites "The Glory Of Age" by Edgar Albert Guest. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Larry looks back at the things he is grateful for, including that potato thing and that turkey thing, also family. Then Larry talks about the holiday classic, "The Wizard of Oz" and recites "Sun and Shadow" by Oliver Wendell Holmes.
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Larry talks about why the best Thanksgiving meal is the one at midnight, when you're sneaking into the fridge for leftovers for the first time! And why the simplest recipes are the best and why no vegetables are allowed!
Check out the new t-shirts in the all-new Larry Miller Show store! http://LarryMillerShow.com/store
Larry faces a tough moment after a crazy week and takes stock in his life. And we have a first for TLMS, as The Poetry Corner and Magic Movie Moment both have the same title -- Splendor In The Grass. (Although one of them has a superfluous number of vowels in its spelling.) Tune in, drop out and don't step into a volcano.
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The dulcet tones of Larry Miller are the perfect antidote to soothe the nation's jangled nerves. Take a listen, if you're patriotic enough, bub! Will Larry's big election prediction be correct? Tune in and find out! Plus, more Millard Fillmore facts than you can shake a stick at. And Larry continues his unpopular defense of daylight savings time. Then we hear about the movie "Sullivan's Travels." http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "It's Monday. No, we say it's Friday."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
In defense of the maligned anchovy, Larry brainstorms the possibility of an anchovy martini! Then hear about Uncle Zio's giant, grubby hands and how they made the most delicious sandwich Larry ever had. And which is worse, volcano #2 or the DMV? Then Larry talks about the great Kubrick film, Dr. Strangelove.
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Quote of the week: "Did I do that out loud? I did."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
We talk about not talking about politics. And then something a lot less heated, the World Series. Chicago and Cleveland -- two cities you'll never have to say "Nominum Quid Geminus?" in. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Even they don't want your vote. You're too empty and boring to listen to."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry celebrates a great audition by stopping for a bite at an old Hollywood eatery! Then hear what the blonde did with the chainsaw, the poem "Revenge" by Revenge by Letitia Elizabeth Landon and Larry talks about the classic movie "The Bishop's Wife." http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "This is a show so good, I want to hear it."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Have coffee TV commercials gone extinct? Shocking! Positively shocking. And what ever happened to the percolator? Larry ruminates about this and also why Oddjob had to schlep Goldfinger's golf clubs around in the hot southern sun, in a tuxedo, no less! It was an odd job for Oddjob.
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What makes a great Mother's day gift? An ashtray made of matchsticks? Waking your Mom up early so she can witness the destruction of her kitchen? Yes and yes. Plus, Larry talks about the tear-jerker classic movie "I Remember Mama" and then he recites "A Little While" by Dante Gabriel Rossetti. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Right after that, they probably slice your head off."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry's not a big lottery ticket getter, but he got in on the big Powerball! And we hear a funny story about talking his Dad into buying a ticket. And Larry's wife's plans for a relaxing weekend at the beach come slightly unhinged and not even Larry's fancy Hugh Hefner pajamas can fix it. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "You tell 'em."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Girl Scouts give Larry the cold shoulder, but he buys their cookies anyway! Learn to say "Gesundheit" in at least two languages! Tales of Larry's latest anniversary celebration! Featuring Larry's take on "Wuthering Heights" on Magic Movie Moment and his recitation of "Barefoot Boy" on Poetry Corner.
http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "That's all I'm going to say. No it's not!"
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry revisits The War of 1812 and wonders how much work it was for the British to do so much darn colonizing. And Larry talks about the classic WC Fields movie "The Bank Dick." http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "It sets your teeth just right."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry gives a brief history of Labor Day and its relation to the less popular billy club. And Larry re-recounts two of his brief encounters with celebrities. Then he recites "Fruit of the Flower" by Countee Cullen and talks about the classic movie "Mr. Lucky." http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "it's like being a prisoner of war in Finland."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
In a tribute to Gene Wilder, Larry talks about the great movie "The Producers." Then he discusses perfection of the paper clip, the beauty of the binder clip and the reliable rubber band -- and how we can't throw them out. Then Larry recites the poem "In School Days" by John Greenleaf Whittier.
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Gee whiz becomes ho hum really fast, but not for Larry! He never gets tired of Hollywood. Hear about him horsing around on studio lots and the secret of dressing room mirrors! Plus, whistling through graveyards, Larry recites "The Footsteps of Angels" by Longfellow and talks about the movie "The Americanization of Emily."
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Quote of the week: "Clarification: I was in a bar."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry's morning routine is messed up by mainland politics, which are unlike the easy election machinations on Milleronia! Larry talks about boozy molls, Key Largo, phony phone calls and why you're not allowed to swear on a walkie talkie. And finally, Larry recites an amazing poem, "The House With Nobody In It" by Joyce Kilmer. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the Week: "Is Bob Gaelic there?"
Producer Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry recites "Ace Of Spades" by Motorhead in honor of the passing of Lemmy Kilmister! Then he talks about the new Duke Spirits brand of bourbon, inspired by John Wayne, which leads into stories about hard drinkers like Jackie Gleason! With a big wink and hot cha cha! http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "She's very nicely constructed. Bless her heart."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry ponders the magic of dogs. They are sweet and cuddly one minute, then scrapping brawlers the next. Also, the cuteness and lack of durability of dog toys is lost on Larry. Ever wonder what happens when a blonde speeder is pulled over by a blonde cop? And when is it too soon to think about going back to school? And congrats to Ollie Dungmeister, foreman of Volcano #2! He's retiring after 50 years of happy service! http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "People like that run for congress."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry shares memories of the late Garry Marshall and their time on his "happy sets." Then Larry fights a losing battle with a bloomin' onion but has an otherwise lovely time at Outback Steak House. And Larry recites "Sonnet VII" by John Milton and talks about the Bing Crosby movie "Going My Way."
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Quote of the week: "You can smell it in a lead box."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry tells about Abraham Lincoln distracting a wino in New York City. Then Larry searches for the planet where all the drinks are free and all the women look like Julie Newmar! Hear about the political conventions on Milleronia (or lack thereof), The Good, The Bad and The Ugly and the poem "Summer" by Alexander Pope, not to be confused with Pope Alexander. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "I know dat guy."
Producer Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry returns from a road trip to NYC and Kentucky, one of which was Daniel Boone country. Tune in to find out which! And hear the tale of Colonel Jeff's long, long, long day, which included breaking into a guest's car after recording with Alison Rosen and a Peter Gunn marathon. Larry talks about the movie "Big Jake" and recites the moving poem, "A City's Death." http://LarryMillerShow.com
We have our first guest ever -- Larry's son who is about to be deployed overseas! But before that, hear about if Mr. Doorman stole the couch, the movie "Jaws," Larry's extremely broken toilet seat and what "Marine tough" is. (Hint: It has something to do with the broken toilet seat and hot sauce.) http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "I wasn't looking for it for free. Well, I was."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Why shooting bottle rockets doesn't count as college credit, Larry's dog goes to the dentist and why you should never work with dogs, babies or W.C. Fields. And Larry recites the full poem "The Defence of Fort McHenry," which is the source of the lyrics for "The Star Spangled Banner." And on Magic Movie Moment, Larry talks about the Errol Flynn classic, "Robin Hood." http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "The backyard fireworks of his idiot friend."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry celebrates the anniversary of Waterloo with some sweet, sweet Napoleon chat! And it just wouldn't be a summer solstice without Larry missing the summer solstice. Also hear about dead goldfish from the summer fair and which is worse, the French Disease or the English Disease. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Congratulations, Dr. IQ, it's you and the Russian winter."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Our most ABSOOORBING episode ever! School's out on Milleronia and Larry talks about summertime fun, why he inadvertently wore a confederate cap to the Lincoln memorial and which is the better type of cow, a JUHHHHSEY or a GUHHHRNSEY. Plus, the movie "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum" and a recitation of the moving poem "Casabianca."
http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "A shady guy smile."
Producer Colonel Jeff Fox
If a fart falls in the forest and nobody hears it, is it still funny? What if it happens in a Chinese restaurant and EVERYBODY hears it? Well, Larry asks that question, and not hypothetically, we're afraid to say. Plus remembrance of D-Day, a look back at "Saving Private Ryan" and Larry once again recites the great American anthem "Casey At The Bat."
http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "By the way, cut off his head."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Would God let Larry cheat on his wife with Marilyn Monroe? Why did they never build a bridge across the Mersey? And do some like it hot? Plus tales of walking across the Brooklyn Bridge with his comedian buddies. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "How do you like that, hayseed?"
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
This Memorial Day, everyone deserves a promotion. And we mean everybody. In honor of Memorial Day, Larry recites the great war poem, "Aftermath" by Sigfried Sassoon and talks about a magic movie moment from Ed Zwick's classic civil war drama "Glory."
Quote of the week: "So far as I know, the French invented everything sexual."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Here's a little secret about guys -- we don't know what we're doing. Yes, Larry recounts his uneventful prom night and uneventful (apparently) romantic encounters during his college years. Then we hear about the great Sam Peckinpah movie "The Wild Bunch." Plus, Larry recites "Come Walk With Me" by Emily Jane Bronte!
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Quote of the week: "I enjoyed not knowing. Does that make sense?"
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
What makes a great Mother's day gift? An ashtray made of matchsticks? Waking your Mom up early so she can witness the destruction of her kitchen? Yes and yes. Plus, Larry talks about the tear-jerker classic movie "I Remember Mama" and then he recites "A Little While" by Dante Gabriel Rossetti.
http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Right after that, they probably slice your head off."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry discusses all things donuts after Colonel Jeff's return from his donut expedition to South Florida. And Larry gives a recipe for Milleronia-styled charred kale salad! Is it good? You figure it out.
Quote of the week: "I nearly did a chimp flip in my seat."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry honors the passing of screen legend Maureen O'Hara by revisiting one of his favorite Magic Movie Moments. And we hear about the light saber-wielding Marines that stormed Larry's house. Will they care that the toilet seat was broken? It's doubtful! http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote Of The Week: "What are you bothering me for? Can't you see this is my deathbed?"
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry buys a used car with Jay Leno, then fills it with beer cans, then gets pulled over by a cop. True story! And why are Buicks "Doctor cars?" We hear about the great John Ford movie "Mr. Roberts." Also, Larry recites "A Love By The Sea" by William Ernest Henley. And find out what happens when two blondes check out a used car!
Quote of the week: "Model XFTSS."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry needs a new car and a '64 Fury III is not an option. Hear about the jailbird Irwin and the string of dicey used cars he sold Larry's dad. Then Larry talks about the movie West Side Story and the great poem "The New Colossus" by Emma Lazarus. Plus, tales of a miniature statue of liberty in Manhattan. This is another fun one!
http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of The Week: "He drove that until it De-Simca-ed itself."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry's son is in the flag ceremony at opening day of baseball! A hot dog lady earns a gold star and Larry surrenders to the US Air Force. Plus more tales of a day that couldn't be more American unless Larry was wearing a suit made of apple pies! (We're working on that.) The first Fecta Update in a long time! Plus a tribute to Patty Duke and Kitty Genovese. And a Milleronia mystery. Larry's dog kills a possum -- but where is the corpse?
Quote of the week: "Big waffles, like an Escalade's tire."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Find out why opening day is going to be EXTRA EXTRA special for Larry this year. And Larry tells a dumb blonde joke that hits a little too close to home! Plus, a talk about Roger Maris and the great movie "61." http://LarryMillerShow.com
Join the fun with other LMDSers at http://facebook.com/LarryMillerShow and http://twitter.com/LarryMillerShow !
Quote of the week: "Small, extra small and crazy small."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Car 54 Where Are You? was long overdue for a tribute, and our man Larry is just the man to give it to you! In honor of Joe E. Ross' 102nd birthday, Larry recounts the classic TV sitcom, plus we give a nod to Frank Sinatra, Jr, who recently passed away. On Magic Movie Moment, we talk about a great moment from The Sting. On Poetry Corner, Larry recites "We Are The Music-Makers." http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Tell a friend. In fact, threaten a friend."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry powers through a cold to bring you a new episode! Thoughts about time and the savings of daylights, a shout out to Steven Segal on the Magic Movie Moment and how Larry became a "Cardinal!" (Warning -- it involves booting.) (Warning -- booting means throwing up.) http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "I have to be honest, get out."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Girl Scouts give Larry the cold shoulder, but he buys their cookies anyway! Learn to say "Gesundheit" in at least two languages! Tales of Larry's latest anniversary celebration! Featuring Larry's take on "Wuthering Heights" on Magic Movie Moment and his recitation of "Barefoot Boy" on Poetry Corner.
http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "That's all I'm going to say. No it's not!"
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
How come Leap Year isn't a holiday? Why don't we celebrate it? Larry ponders this and offers how we can make it into a fun holiday, without going overboard. Then Larry honors the passing of the great actor George Kennedy, as well as the 100th birthday of Jackie Gleason. Put on your best searsucker suit and tune in!
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Quote of the week: "Okay, look, fatso, get out of the bed."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Accept change or at least accept that it's hard to accept change. Or something. So laments Larry. Also, do you know the way to San Jose? Is there baseball in heaven? Do you know how to pronounce Vitai Lampada? These and many other questions will be discussed on this week's Larry Miller Show! http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "If you need more, you tell the story."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Celebrate your favorite President with Larry! And hear about the lustful pursuits of the sultan of swat! Larry has nothing to say about Valentine's Day, but he recites "America The Beautiful" (which was originally a poem) and talks about The Farmer's Daughter -- the movie, not the joke. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Babe, you're alright."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
A tribute to comedy and radio great Bob Elliott, who passed away at the grand old age of 92. Are you ready for some football? Larry is, after being buffaloed by the goofy, goofy Super Bowl halftime show. On Magic Movie Moment, we hear about "That Hamilton Woman" and on Poetry Corner, Larry recites "The Conclusion" by Sir Walter Raleigh. (And stay tuned at the end for a little bonus!) http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "She was great at cranky and annoyed."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry is baffled by the Iowa caucuses and the news coverage around them. Then, he owns up to having spent $100 on a bottle of wine. Was it worth it? Tune in to find out! And find out what the Rabbi said in Hawaii, what makes a mad day at black rock and hear the poem "Bury Me In A Free Land" by Frances Harper. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the Week: "They get a hurricane about every 40 minutes and it kills everyone."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry debates whether or not he'd go to the Super Bowl and ponders the baffling Super Bowl half-time show. On Magic Movie Moment, Larry talks about the great football epic "Horse Feathers."
Quote of the week: "I tried asking for more time, but the red said 'no.'"
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry's not a big lottery ticket getter, but he got in on the big Powerball! And we hear a funny story about talking his Dad into buying a ticket. And Larry's wife's plans for a relaxing weekend at the beach come slightly unhinged and not even Larry's fancy Hugh Hefner pajamas can fix it. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "You tell 'em."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry recites "Ace Of Spades" by Motorhead in honor of the passing of Lemmy Kilmister! Then he talks about the new Duke Spirits brand of bourbon, inspired by John Wayne, which leads into stories about hard drinkers like Jackie Gleason! With a big wink and hot cha cha! http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "She's very nicely constructed. Bless her heart."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
"Happy New Year" the most beautiful thing to say to people -- for a week, so says Larry. Get a recap of Larry's holiday trip to New York City and the Jets game! Also, tune in to find out what a "Road to Perdition coat" is and if the whitefish escaped from Larry's hotel room. Now shut up and deal. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Boy, with a little help, he could get away!"
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
The show is still driving to Florida for the new year, but we have another Jack Benny episode with special guests Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart! This episode originally aired January 4th, 1947. Enjoy! Nominum quid geminus and we'll see you back here in the new year!
LarryMillerShow.com
Larry is on vacation in Tahiti with The Joke Of The Week, The Poetry Corner and The Magic Movie Moment, so Larry has left a little present for you. It's a Christmas-themed old time radio comedy from one of our favorites, Jack Benny. Enjoy and we'll see you in the new year!
LarryMillerShow.com
The annual re-telling of Larry's real-life Christmas story, "Does He Drink Coffee?" Will Larry finally "go clean" this year?
Plus, in honor of Frank Sinatra's 100th birthday, Larry recounts how he came to open for Sinatra in Vegas and having his pants around his ankles (both figuratively and literally) the first time he met The Chairman Of The Board. And in honor of the 50th anniversary of "A Charlie Brown Christmas," Larry discusses it for Magic Movie Moment! And Larry recites the powerful poem "Chanukah Lights" by P.M. Raskin.
Go to this episode's page at http://bit.ly/1Zb9eqQ for a FREE download of the theme song parody that is at the top of this show. It's your present from Larry and The Colonel!
Merry Christmas and happy holidays from everyone on the island of Milleronia! Thanks for listening and be well. We'll see you in the new year!
Quote of the week: "If that's in your show, I hope you close with it."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
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Larry tells what it's like to celebrate the holidays on Milleronia! And Larry sings twice in this episode! Then he talks about the 1951 version of A Christmas Carol, then recites "A Memory of June" by Claude McKay.
Quote of The Week: "I could celebrate that holiday. If you take the wrestling out."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Colonel Jeff got green around the gills on the helicopter ride to Milleronia and couldn't record the show. So, we're pulling an episode from the classic vault under volcano #3! Larry expresses his love of daylight saving time. Then we hear why Larry stopped talking malaria medicine in India, Larry recites "Ode on Solitude" by Alexander Pope for Poetry Corner and finally, he talks about the classic movie "The Hustler."
Quote Of The Week: "I don't think it's the famous that need help. It's the suburban fathers."
Enjoy the show? Tell a friend or share it on Facebook or Twitter!
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
http://LarryMillerShow.com
Larry tells hilarious stories about his "shouting family" Thanksgivings from his childhood. Larry eats a whole tray full of pickles, wrestles with cousin Craig and lives to tell about it. And hear about Uncle Harry, the dancing plumber. Happy Thanksgiving from everyone on Milleronia! http://LarryMillerShow.com
Larry is excited about the so-called California temperatures, as well as the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday! He talks about the history of the expression "red tape" and why there is so much of it. And he discusses John Wayne's great first turn in the movie "Stagecoach." Then Larry recites "Sonnet 54" by Edmund Spenser. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Norman just took the sandwich."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry gives a prescription to fix the rudderless James Bond franchise! And Larry puts the wag in Wagner as he ponders what kind of music can make you more dumber. Plus an update on the Milleronia intramural football league. Then Larry recites "Is It Possible" by Sir Thomas Wyatt and talks about the Gary Cooper classic "Friendly Persuasion." Also, a little tribute to the late great kar kustomizer George Barris. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the Week: "Until you hire me, then you're very very smart."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry marvels at how fast baseball disappears after the world series. And yes, the bald man makes fun of guys with hair, just one more time. Dogs tearing up squirrels! (Some real, some not.) And which came first, shaving cream or the razor? Finally, will Larry change out of his Topsider shoes before show time? Tune in and find out! http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "Look, we'll surrender if you don't french fry us."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry honors the passing of screen legend Maureen O'Hara by revisiting one of his favorite Magic Movie Moments. And we hear about the light saber-wielding Marines that stormed Larry's house. Will they care that the toilet seat was broken? It's doubtful!
http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote Of The Week: "What are you bothering me for? Can't you see this is my deathbed?"
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry begrudgingly bemoans bearded baseballers. Plus, shaggies and sandal-wearers are slightly slandered. And Larry wonders how baseball has become a winter sport. On Poetry Corner, Larry recites, "Because I Could Not Stop For Death," by Emily Dickinson. The Magic Movie Moment is from "The Hunchback of Notre Dame." And, no I won't give you a ride to the Halloween party, Pete.
Quote of the Week: "Chocolate is enough!"
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
More baseball playoff talk as Larry weighs in on the Chase Utley slide! Doggie mayhem in the recording studio almost gets two dogs a long trip up the short side of a volcano. And what's the difference between a set and a bit? And how many kinds of rim shots are there? Tune in to find out! On Poetry Corner, we hear the eerie poem The Lake by Edgar Allen Poe. And on Magic Movie Moment, Larry talks about the classic Saratoga Trunk.
Quote Of The Week: "Dress up like the Duke of Encino."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry sings the worthy praises of BBQ, BBQ, BBQ and playoff baseball. And Larry recites an eerie rhyme from Shakespeare, even though he doesn't like Halloween. On Magic Movie Moment, Larry talks about the surprisingly non-BBQ related Adam's Rib.
Quote of the week: "Pick it up with your hands, like a caveman."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
http://www.LarryMillerShow.com
Larry recounts his first movie role, where he got beaten to a pulp by Nick Nolte -- and loved it. He also discusses who was a cooler, Frank Bullitt or Harry Callahan! Then Larry confesses his love of camera girls on the set of movies. For the first day of October, Larry recites "When The Frost Is On The Punkin'" -- even though it's 94 degrees in Los Angeles. And we hear why Larry never leaves his hotel room. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "They give him a list of people to beat."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Oops again! Larry was supposed to be out of town working on another movie this week, but it got pushed back. But we couldn't record a new episode because Larry had scheduled testing of the evil weather control machine for Wednesday, which scrubbed all flights into Milleronia. Colonel Jeff will be helicopter-hopping to Milleronia first thing Thursday to get a new episode recorded and out the door, so stand by! New episode sometime Thursday!
http://LarryMillerShow.com
Oops! Larry got hired to act in the new Garry Marshall movie and had to amscray off of Milleronia! So, we're bringing you a rebroadcast of our first indie episode!
Larry has taken his podcast independent! This is the first episode recorded at his secret lair inside an extinct volcano on The Island of Milleronia. And then he explains his week and half absence. Was it mischief? Machinations? Malarkey? Or none of the above? Tune in to find out! Then hear why Larry had to waddlesprint on an airplane twice in one flight!
Quote Of The Week: "He put a couple more 'sirs' in there."
http://www.LarryMillerShow.com
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
When is The Man From UNCLE not The Man From UNCLE? This and other zen riddles will be pondered on this week's show as Larry talks about seeing the TV show reboot this weekend while on the road. And Larry gives just the facts, ma'am, as he discusses the 1987 version of Dragnet. On Poetry Corner, Larry recites "In Paris With You" by James Fenton.
Quote of the week: "Other than that, completely house trained."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry goes on vacation this week, so we have a rebroadcast of a classicWe smuggle another episode out of Larry's secret evil guy lair! Larry talks about how writing is the hardest thing ever and we try to come up with a "break a leg" expression for writers. We are unsuccessful because that is writing, which is the hardest thing ever. In honor of Valentine's Day, Larry recites "Give All To Love" by Emerson and we talk about the classic movie "Key Largo."
Quote Of The Week: "A heart-shaped thing or a box-shaped thing."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
http://LarryMillerShow.com
On this food-oriented episode, Larry he weighs in on the NY thin slice vs. Chicago deep dish debate! Plus, he discusses if he wants the whole enchilada, or maybe a cheese brumfada on the side. And we ponder salisbury steaks and TV dinner. On Magic Movie Moment, Larry covers the great "Cincinnati Kid" with Steve McQueen. And he recites an excerpt from Hero and Leander by Christopher Marlowe.
Quote of the week: "That orangey rice."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry bids a fond farewell to Yvonne Craig, the lovely and talented actress best-known as Batgirl and Marta the green alien on Star Trek. Plus, we bid you a happy Waffle Day and also hear some touching stories about Larry's mother. Jumping Jehosephat! Listen to this episode already? http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "The big King Kong doors opened."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
We're not sure what guff is, but Larry and John Wayne sure aren't taking any of it, as Larry talks about the great John Wayne movie McLintock! (The exclamation point is theirs.) Plus, Larry shares some thoughts about the 70th anniversary of World War II. And we also hear about the continuing mayhem of Maggie The Dog.
Quote of the week: "They're touching each other at 40 mph."
http://LarryMillerShow.com
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Say "bye bye Birdie" and "hello doggie on this" week's episode as Larry welcomes a new dog to the pack on Milleronia and also talks about previously-named 1963 musical. (It's just an excuse to talk about Ann Margaret some more. Like we need an excuse.) And on Poetry Corner, Larry recites the poem, "As The Ruin Falls" by the famous writer C.S. Lewis. Larry also laments missing National Chicken Wing Day. Never again. Never, ever again.
Quote of the week: "I'd put my name in that hat."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
This episode is a little late because Larry had an audition. And he was almost late to that audition because of, how shall we say, biology. And you'll hear all about it! Plus, we get a report on Larry's post-audition lunch and the "Biblical hotties" that work there. And Larry talks about the great Sean Connery movie "The Man Who Would Be King." On Poetry Corner, Larry recites another great one from Edgar Albert Guest: "Tinkerin' At Home." And news from Milleronia! Larry is getting another dog! Will he learn to fly one of Larry's helicopters?
Quote of the week: "He looks like a Jewish Oddjob."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry plays pantomime with two incomprehensible restaurant employees. Or someone was playing an elaborate practical joke on him. He winds up paying $13.82 for a Coke, but gets an "instant classic" story for the show out of it. And to heck with his diet. And we learn what the name "Third Base Bar" means. Plus, Larry recites the poem "A Wish" by Matthew Arnold and talks about the "Thin Man" series of movies.
Quote of the week: "Rendezvous, which in French means Rendezvous."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
The Queen of Milleronia is off in Vegas, so Viva Las Larry! Larry tells stories about beautiful Vegas weddings and the time Larry mistakenly thought his friend was trying to turn him into a coke fiend. We hear about the great Ann Margaret movie Viva Las Vegas (some rock singer guy was in it, too) and Larry recites the moving poem "There Will Come Soft Rains." Is this a great show? You bet your not-so-sweet bippy!
Quote of the week: "Make sure you get a good silkwood scrub with a hard brush."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry is excited about the recent contact with Pluto (which you'll say is a real planet if you know what's good for ya). Then you'll learn about Milleronian sharks and why you don't want to ride in a town car in Milleronia. Plus, the beautful poem The Palanquin Bearers and another John Wayne classic, Cahill US Marshal on Magic Movie Moment.
Quote of the week: "Hey, your rich Uncle Mergatroid just died."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Our barefoot comic with cheek of tan spends the 4th of July watching a bunch of Marines punch, eat and move furniture. He gives them one rule: no death! Then he talks about how all car companies should just produce '57 Chevys. On Poetry Corner, Larry recites "Barefoot Boy" by James Whitcomb Riley. And on Magic Movie Moment, we hear about the 1966 Batman movie!
Quote of the week: "Warning! Warning Will Rogers!"
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry tells how his handyman used to charge him on a sliding scale (sliding upward!) based on how many times he had seen Larry on TV recently! We ponder chick peas vs. garbanzo beans, then Larry wonders if he's more an E-Z boy or a lazy boy. And Larry recites the great poem "See It Through" by Edgar Guest, then talks about the classic James Cagney gangster movie "White Heat."
Quote of the week: "That's what I like being. E-Z and lazy."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry talks about the wonder of enjoying the small moments of this past Father's Day. Then Larry shares memories of his father, like the time he won the lottery (don't get excited) and the time Larry found his Dad's secret stash of tuna and Old Spice aftershave. Also, Larry recites the classic poem "My Dad's Hands," then talks about the 1937 movie Captains Courageous. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "The clerk looked at him like he was from Jupiter."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry takes a long walk up a short volcano and ponders the state of the modern baby shower. Should they be co-ed or would everyone be happier if they were separate? Then, in this baseball-heavy episode, Larry re-recites the classic poem "Casey At The Bat" and talks about the movie "Major League" on Magic Movie Moment.
http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: ""I still know how to fall down. I can handle that."
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Show Credits
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry waxes nostalgic for the days when he was on a first name basis with his neighborhood ice cream man. Then Larry orders some egg foo young that tastes egg foo old! And we hear about Larry becoming smitten with a cashier at a Lithuanian market in LA. In a tribute to the 70th anniversary of D-Day by talking about "The Longest Day" on Magic Movie Moment. http://LarryMillerShow.com
Quote of the week: "We have two volcanoes. And we use them."
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Show Credits
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Tales of beer-fueled shenanigans, mayhem and giving in to the strong arm of gravity from Larry's college days. Including a story about harassing a snooty foreign exchange student. Ees not funny! On Magic Movie Moment, we appropriately discuss the classic comedy Animal House and on Poetry Corner, Larry recites "I Am The Only Being Whose" by Emily Bronte.
Quote of the week: "Get the dog off the couch, we don't want to hurt the dog."
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Show Credits
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry leads the Memorial Day parade on Milleronia. Will the parade end up in volcano #2? Should marching bands play pop songs? On Magic Movie Moment, Larry talks about the great movie "Papillion." And on Poetry Corner, Larry recites, "I Knew A Woman" by Theodore Roethke.
Quote of the week: "He loved to play checkers, but only barefoot."
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Show Credits
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
The biggest news since Napoleon ripped his bone apart, we announce the winner of our haiku contest! Then, for Magic Movie Moment, Larry talks about the movie version of Arsenic and Old Lace. Plus, some tales of Larry's days as a school kid and his failed attempts at cheating in French class.
Quote of the week: "Donut coffee cake cups or something."
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Show Credits
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry revisits V-E day on its 70th anniversary. And find out why there are three crushed beer cans under the bed! On Poetry Corner, Larry reads "Boy At The Window" by Richard Wilbur and talks about "The Great Escape" on Magic Movie Moment.
Quote of the week: "Faster, stupid, he's going to eat us."
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Show Credits
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry can't stop feeding his dog. He's not complaining. He's just saying. We discuss the evolution of ketchup, but not catsup. And on Poetry Corner, Larry recites Rondel of Merciless Beauty by Geoffrey Chaucer and on Magic Movie Moment, Larry talks about 1952's Blackbeard The Pirate.
Quote of the week: "Cheat! Cheat!"
Larry talks about how you don't have to climb Mt. Everest to have an adventure. Then we hear about the new happy hour buffet on Milleronia. And Larry discusses the history of the happy hour, not to be confused with a smoker. On Magic Movie Moment, Larry talks about Ivanhoe and on Poetry Corner, he recites "Maker of Heaven and Earth."
Quote of the week: "None of the stories I loved could be told to him."
Larry goes on the road to Milleronia with a quick stop in Hong Kong (circa 1962!). We read more listener Haikus and then Larry talks about his fascination with Abe Lincoln. If there's a bad Lincoln Highway joke, we haven't heard it! On Poetry Corner, Larry recites "A Life Lesson" by James Whitcomb Riley.
Quote of the week: "And strategically."
Larry talks about why he passed up a chance to play on the Masters' golf course. Also, tales of having too much to drink in England. Then we do a tribute to the great comedian Stan Freberg and cancer fighter Lauren Hill. Plus we hear more about Milleronia's new La-Z-Boy-based transportation system and the missing Barcalounger salesmen. For Poetry Corner, Larry recites "Be Still, My Soul, Be Still" by Alfred E. Housman and we hear about the movie "The Ghost and Mrs. Muir."
Quote of the week: "It's a horrible thing, lava."
Larry ponders the demise of the Easter Parade and talks about where Easter eggs come from. And find out what a "chicken flicker" is and why you probably don't want to be one. Plus, Larry talks about The Charge of The Light Brigade on Poetry Corner and on MMM. The Jetsons meets the Flintstones has nothing on this crossover!
Quote of the week: "We might just say it sits there."
Larry talks about the classic Laurel and Hardy short "The Movie Box" and tell you where to find the stairs featured in the movie! Plus we hear about Larry's earliest days as a driver, as well as his recent trip with his son to the DMV. Then Larry recites a powerful poem, "After All" by Henry Lawson.
Quote of the week: "If you lived near a cliff, you wouldn't be giggling." (#4)
Larry imparts some drinking lessons he learned as a young comic in New York in the 1970s. (You might also learn to curtsy.) Plus we hear about actor Gregory Walcott, who was in 300 TV shows, but is often remembered for his role in Plan 9 From Outer Space. Also, find out who would win in a shootout, Lucas McCain or Josh Randall!
Quote Of The Week: "He was bartender strong."
Larry imparts three simple rules to follow for a drunk but safe St. Patrick's Day. Does it include driving to Florida? Not likely. Then Larry finds out he was closer to Wonder Woman than he'd thought. Larry also recites "All Nature Has A Feeling" by John Clare and talks about the Sam Peckinpah film "Ride The High Country" on Magic Movie Moment.
Quote Of The Week: "Physi-o-logically."
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Show Credits
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry expresses his love of daylight saving time. Then we hear why Larry stopped talking malaria medicine in India, Larry recites "Ode on Solitude" by Alexander Pope for Poetry Corner and finally, he talks about the classic movie "The Hustler."
Quote Of The Week: "I don't think it's the famous that need help. It's the suburban fathers."
We say goodbye to Leonard Nimoy and give a little tour inside the burger joint on Milleronia. We try to figure out if some like it hot, then Larry recites "An Hymn To The Morning" by Phillis Wheatley and we hear about the movie "The Music Man." Leg lamp and prosper!
Quote Of The Week: "I don't need a beer that tastes like October."
Show Credits
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry reviews the Oscars and encourages actors to get in touch with their inner Connery! We once again commiserate with our winter-weary friends back east with a snow joke plus "Ice and Fire" by the poet Edmund Spenser. Then Larry talks about the great Paul Newman movie "Absence Of Malice" on Magic Movie Moment.
Quote Of The Week: "Take your hands out of your pockets, you dopes!"
Larry airs his beefs with St. Valentine and reveals a fiendishly clever plan to save Boston from its deluge of snow. And we get a musical question from boy tenor Larry J. Miller? And to help warm the hearts of snowed in Bostonianites, Larry recites the poem, "Summer" by Alexander Pope. Then we hear about the great Bullitt on Magic Movie Moment!
Quote Of The Week: "Like a Klingon trying to pass."
Show Credits
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
We smuggle another episode out of Larry's secret evil guy lair! Larry talks about how writing is the hardest thing ever and we try to come up with a "break a leg" expression for writers. We are unsuccessful because that is writing, which is the hardest thing ever. In honor of Valentine's Day, Larry recites "Give All To Love" by Emerson and we talk about the classic movie "Key Largo."
Quote Of The Week: "A heart-shaped thing or a box-shaped thing."
Show Credits
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Larry has taken his podcast independent! This is the first episode recorded at his secret lair inside an extinct volcano on The Island of Milleronia. And then he explains his week and half absence. Was it mischief? Machinations? Malarkey? Or none of the above? Tune in to find out! Then hear why Larry had to waddlesprint on an airplane twice in one flight!
Quote Of The Week: "He put a couple more 'sirs' in there."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox
Just a quick message from The Great Fivefectorator to say thanks for your patience and support! He's out of town, but there will be a new episode soon!
Larry mourns the loss of the beautiful Ursula Andress and discusses exactly why it is that Jimmy cracks corn. Then Larry recites "Good By" by Emerson and talks about Andress' famous bikini scene from the James Bond movie Dr. No. And Larry once again lobbies for a marching band-only Super Bowl halftime show. Will the powers that be finally heed his request? Tune in and find out!
Quote Of The Week: "I'm a big deal grownup now, drinking here in an empty bar." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry looks back fondly at when his late friend Taylor Negron said he would kill him. We also give a tribute to Donna Douglas, Bess Meyerson and Rod Taylor. On "Poetry Corner," Larry recites some Tennyson and then talks about Breakfast At Tiffany's on "Magic Movie Moment."
Quote Of The Week: "Hey, stupid. Come here."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Won't someone stand up for the short-sleeved shirt? Yes, Larry will! Then Larry talks about finally paying off the mortgage on his house and how it gave him just a smidgen of pride. We hear a great recitation of "Her Voice" on Poetry Corner and hear about the underrated movie "Cat Ballou."
Quote Of The Week: "If they made short sleeve underwear, I'd buy those, too." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Here's a new year's eve treat from everyone at This Week With Larry Miller. Celebrate the new year with the great Uncle Miltie, Milton Berle in 1947. (Pay no mind to the cigarette commercials.) Enjoy, be well and we'll see you all in 2015! Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
A little gift to our listeners from Larry, Dr. Chris and Colonel Jeff in lieu of a smelly old repeat! A classic and hilarious old time radio Christmas episode of Jack Benny! Enjoy, be well and we'll see you all in the new year! Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Like your favorite holiday song and TV shows, Larry re-tells this beloved holiday tale of Larry turning an everyday errand into a funny and heart-warming story that is impossible to forget. Plus, Larry recites the classic poem, "A Visit From St. Nicholas," which is better known as "The Night Before Christmas." From everyone at TWWLM, Merry Christmas!
Quote Of The Week: "That's why you come to New York, for the cheese sandwiches." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry has a bad cold this week, so we're bringing you this encore presentation classic best of Larry flashback! Also known as a repeat. The battle of the thermostat begins anew! Then Larry recites "She Walks In Beauty" by Lord Byron and we hear about a great old movie, "Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House" on The Magic Movie Moment.
Quote Of The Week: "She's sometimes very fond of me." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry and crew uncover a glut of McIntosh apples. And Larry is a patriot and supports The Marines, but he performs a feat at Camp Pendleton that he doesn't think any Marine can compete with. On Magic Movie Moment, we hear about The Sons of Katie Elder starring John Wayne and Dean Martin and on Poetry Corner, Larry recites "I Need Not Go" by Thomas Hardy.
Quote Of The Week: "Sean Connery as James Bond never asked, "Do these pants make me look fat?" Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry scoffs at fancy Thanksgiving food preparation and sings the praises of plain old turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes. He gives you pointers on how to keep Thanksgiving simple. Hint: it does not involve any kim chee or walnuts. The Joke Of The Week is MIA, but Larry gives you a big dose of "Wizard of Oz" on Magic Movie Moment. And we find an apple that is almost as good as the McIntosh, but probably more difficult to find.
Quote Of The Week: "Oh, shut up. That's what we do." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Turkey day is just around the corner and Larry waxes nostalgic about racist mixed nuts and beautiful, but inedible pies from the Thanksgivings of his youth. Then, Larry rejoices about finding McIntosh apples (aka one-word apples) in SoCal! Plus we hear about the classic movie "Slap Shot" on Magic Movie Moment. And Larry even sings a little. Just a little.
Quote Of The Week: "Good shoes. You had to tie them." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry takes his son, the Marine, to the train station for infantry training on Veteran's Day. And Larry admits he knows nothing about training or trains. Then we battle Larry's apple apathy with two new varieties. Plus we hear about the great movie "Patton," and Larry recites a poem by Carl Sandburg.
Quote Of The Week: "They're not from Korea or the moon." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Halloween is once again past and Larry once again declares that he doesn't like being scared. Plus we hear "Love Is Not All" by Edna St. Vincent Millay, plus a short, yet powerful bonus poem! And on Magic Movie Moment, Larry talks about the humor and great filmmaking of Alfred Hitchcock.
Quote Of The Week: "Too something. Too everything." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry talks about the difference between staying in a nice hotel for vacation and staying in a nice hotel for work. Then he conjures up an imaginary night by himself in a Las Vegas hotel and still doesn't even think of cheating on his wife. Plus a recitation of "A Farewell" by Tennyson and "Cat On A Hot Tin Roof" on Magic Movie Moment.
Quote Of The Week: "I was let go because my company moved to the moon." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry talks about his son's graduation from Marine basic training and their unsuccessful attempt to buy "normal underwear." Plus, we hear about the great movie "Young Frankenstein" and also a poem by Robert Louis Stevenson.
Quote Of The Week: "Whatever hair I have, I comb." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry tells of his triumphant return to the famous Canter's Deli in Los Angeles, where he darkened the door every morning during his early years in town. He talks about his father's unsuccessful attempts to induce labor on his Mom and how he didn't speak for the first four years of his life.
Quote Of The Week: "Nothing was happening. I was not coming out."
Larry tells about the first and only time he wore makeup on a date. Guess how that went? Then he recounts the days when he didn't have a television or an air conditioner -- on purpose, if you can believe that. Then we hear about how much he likes obituaries, but only ones for nice people. Speaking of hot, this week's Magic Movie Moment is the great "Cool Hand Luke!" Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
The first-ever live This Week With Larry Miller recorded at the third annual LA Podcast Festival! Hear Larry talk about how he was "the luckiest guy in the world" when he got kicked in the eye, plus a gripping recitation of another Robert William Service poem.
Quote Of The Week: "Hey, I'm really getting out there!" Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry sticks perfectly to his diet! Except for one little bit. And then one more. And just two times after that. Other than that, he is perfection personified! Plus, Larry talks about Mrs. Minniver (the movie) and recites Sonnet 43 (the sonnet).
Come see the first ever live recording of This Week With Larry Miller at the LA Podcast festival on Sept. 28th! Info and tix at http://LaPodFest.com
Quote Of The Week: "I'm not a baby. I can have a noodle!" Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry grinds through LA's mind-warping heat wave to deliver this week's show! Plus, we play the show's sound effects live for the first time, in preparation for our first live show at LA Podfest. Larry's amusement is priceless!
Come see the first ever live recording of This Week With Larry Miller at the LA Podcast festival on Sept. 28th! Info and tix at http://LaPodFest.com
Quote Of The Week: "I'd be proud to skin ya half a sawbuck." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry mourns the loss of a piece of Tumi luggage that he's taken on the road with him since before he was married. Will he ever be able to find a suitcase as rugged and reliable as his old pal Tumi? Tune in and find out!
Come see the first ever live recording of This Week With Larry Miller at the LA Podcast festival on Sept. 28th! Info and tix at http://LaPodFest.com
Quote Of The Week: "I'd be proud to skin ya half a sawbuck."
Larry explains the difference between "What?" and "Wait, what?" and asks everyone to behave at a wedding. Also, he tells possibly the shaggiest, doggiest joke to date. Come see the first ever live recording of This Week With Larry Miller at the LA Podcast festival on Sept. 28th! For info and tix, go to http://LaPodFest.com
Quote Of The Week: "A really serious lower intestinal sound."
Greater than man's search for the meaning of life is the weighty question of Julie Newmar's Catwoman or Yvonne Craig's Batgirl? Tune in to hear Larry's final word on the matter! Plus, on The Poetry Corner, Larry recites "The Passionate Shepherd." And on Magic Movie Moment, Larry talks about the great Ernest Borgnine classic "The Catered Affair."
Quote Of The Week: "Whatever contest this is, you win!" Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry talks about the great Alfred Hitchcock movie "Lifeboat," plus tributes to the late Lauren Bacall and Robin Williams. Then Larry talks about what going back to school used to feel like, plus getting in street fights in "the good old days."
Quote Of The Week: "The schools are terrible. Why don't we start soon!" Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
The show is on vacation this week, so we're rebroadcasting Larry's triumphant return after his traumatic brain injury. He sounds great for a guy who was in a coma! In lieu of a brand new episode, we're throwing a little bonus at the end.
Quote Of The Week: "My family thinks that's a little weird, but I think it's fantastic." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry tells how much he loves the show "Bar Rescue" and misses watching it with his son. On Magic Movie Moment, we hear about the original Pink Panther movie by the great Blake Edwards! And for Poetry Corner, we hear from the short-lived Paul Lawrence Dunbar.
Quote Of The Week: "She is, after all, naked." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
We bid a fond farewell to the great actor James Garner. Then Larry talks about his complicated feelings about the first few days after his son left for Marine boot camp. Plus Larry pontificates on if fat people can go skinny dipping. On Poetry Corner, he recites "A Word To Husbands" by Ogden Nash, but only takes half of the advice.
Quote Of The Week: "Not today. Not with good kids." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry tries to keep his cool and suave demeanor on the eve of his son leaving to join The Marines. Will he act like a maniac or just feel like one? Tune in and find out! On Poetry Corner, he once again recites "The Marines' Hymn" and we continue the theme with "The Sands of Iwo Jima" for The Magic Movie Moment.
Quote Of The Week: "I'm very close to looking like Larry Fine." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry talks about being concerned for his kids, but not really wanting to say anything. So, he just asks "Are you hungry?" There's nothing in life that a piece of homemade pie can't make better. On Poetry Corner, we hear from Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Larry talks about the movie "The Quiet Man."
Quote Of The Week: "That's not the name of a stripper." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry talks about his latest stay in the hospital and confesses his adoration for cowboy film legend Hopalong Cassidy. On Poetry Corner, he recites "Life" by Charlotte Bronte
Quote Of The Week: "I'd give out two or three hundred drinks for free."
Larry contrasts the greatness of actor Eli Wallach to the somewhat less-great new Transformers movie. And on Poetry Corner, we hear "If We Must Die" by Claude McKay. Plus we get a little loosey goosey!
Quote Of The Week: "A goose is, frankly, a terrible animal." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry loves some Mighty Joe Young and we hear about how giant monkey love conquers all. Larry also recites "A Gleam of Sunshine" by Wordsworth. Plus, we get a new segment, the "Bowling Ball Update!"
Quote Of The Week: "She sits a good bench." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry gives some love to the Stanley Cup. Then Larry recites "I Am In Need Of Music" by Elizabeth Bishop. Plus, we hear about the movie "Life With Father" and get a hint of a Father's Day story right before we run out of time. We'll save it for next week! Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry talks about his son's high school graduation and his rapid am-scray to Ance-fray. Then we hear about how Larry hates modern architecture and why to fight fire with not fire. He does a tribute to Maya Angelou on Poetry Corner and talks about the film "Notorious."
Quote Of The Week: "A sewage treatment plant in Poland in the '50s." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry has tremendous trouble finding a tailor before a wedding. Plus a BONUS Joke Of The Week! Then Larry talks about "High Plains Drifter" and recites "The Arrow & The Song" by Wordsworth.
Quote Of The Week: "Gee, that guy doesn't look like he's from Indiana." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry talks about his days in the marching band. And he discusses bedroom eyes and asks if anyone makes them better than Barbara Feldon. Then we do a Memorial Day tribute with "The Best Years of Our Lives" on Magic Movie Moment and an inspired recitation of a portion of Henry V.
Quote Of The Week: "They were like officer hats from a very cruel army." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry doesn't get why people like scary things and practical jokes. Which leads into a surprising history of the whoopee cushion. We hear about the movie "The Haunting" and Larry recites the poem "A Grain of Sand." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry's tribute to mothers! Well, except for the one that dies during The Joke Of The Week. But she gave her life so that the premise of an hilarious joke could be set up. Hear about "Guess Who's Coming To Dinner" and great Mother's Day presents, including "a candle and a thing that smells."
Quote Of The Week: "Don't be frightened by the noises he makes." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry talks about a great, underrated movie, "Ball of Fire" from 1942. Plus, we hear poem by Poe, and introduce a new "update" segment!
Quote Of The Week: "Shouldn't I go to work and get food for the children? Yes, yes, fine." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry talks about the toupees how wore for Adam Carolla's new movie. Then we hear about his love of "Streetcar Named Desire," Robert Service's poem about home and love and why pencils never freeze in Buffalo.
Quote Of The Week: "It's a stick of matter." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry tells stories about singing (and drinking) with his college acapella group "The Zumbeyes." Then he talks about "The Greatest Story Ever Told" and recites "If I Can Stop One Heart From Breaking" by Emily Dickinson.
Quote Of The Week: "Fury was not a shy guy." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry talks about the great movie The Misfits, starring Clark Gable and Marilyn Monroe. Plus yet another drunk in a bar joke, so-so golfing in Hawaii and time spent at Motel 2. For The Poetry Corner, Larry recites "A Character" by Wordsworth. Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
We bid a fond farewell to veteran actor Mickey Rooney as well as comedian John Pinette. Then Larry recites the poem "Marine's Hymn" and talks about his son, who has enlisted in the Marines. And we also learn that when it comes to food preparation, eight minutes is good.
Quote Of The Week: "Grab a hoop and hit the knee." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry cheats on his wardrobe, but never on his wife. He doesn't have the desire to cheat and doesn't even understand how it works. Plus a Joke Of The Week courtesy of friend of the show Greg Fitzsimmons! Then we hear about that famous Marilyn Monroe scene from "The Seven Year Itch," and Larry recites "Love's Philosophy" by Percy Bysshe Shelley.
Quote Of The Week: "Nobody rubs a butt for no reason." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry cops to getting a pedicure--and liking it! We discuss how much wood a wood chuck would chuck and also that they are the same thing as groundhogs. We feature a new poet on poetry corner, Rupert Brooke's 1914 V: The Soldier. Finally, Larry talks about the underrated Hitchcock film, "Notorious."
Quote Of The Week: "I'm glad we bit on your bait." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry talks about the recent LA earthquake and we hear a good joke from Larry's accountant! (Don't worry, he has an impressive comedy pedigree for an accountant.) Also Larry tells of his love for the 1939 version of Jesse James. On "The Poetry Corner," Larry recites "Friendship" by Thoreau.
Quote Of The Week: "That's the way it goes when you're dealing with vampires." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry tells of his love of the Shirley Temple movie "The Little Princess," which he says makes you happy against your own will. We also hear of his love of the return of daylight savings time. Then Larry recites the poem "When I Have Fear" by John Keats.
Quote Of The Week: "The kind of a thing you might hear from a cruel boss."
The early worm gets trapped in Larry's pool in the most worm-laden episode to date. Plus, Larry talks about how much he loves the movie "Captain Blood." Then he recites another poem by John Clare, "I Am."
Quote Of The Week: "Which is another reason I never took calculus." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry is awoken from his sleep during show prep by a delicious apple, like a reverse Snow White. Then we hear about how much Larry admired the work of Harold Ramis on "The Magic Movie Moment." Plus Larry tells a great tale of the joys of being at home with his family. For Poetry Corner, Larry recites "The Listeners" by Walter de la Mare.
Quote Of The Week: "His giant Star Trek screen computer." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry talks about the parallels between his life and the movie "The Goodbye Girl." Then he recites "For The Services In Memory of Abraham Lincoln" by Oliver Wendell Holmes in honor of Presidents Day.
Quote Of The Week: "Where it's as big as a Volvo." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry gets a smile from seeing one of his sons passed out in front of a computer. Then, in anticipation of Valentine's Day, he recites "A Fond Kiss" by poet Robert Burns. Finally we hear about the classic movie "Dodsworth."
Quote Of The Week: "What is good in life? What is good in life?"
Larry debates whether to watch the Super Bowl or the classic film "12 Angry Men." Then in anticipation of the upcoming Valentine's Day, he recites the poem "First Love" by John Clare. Better listen now, because we don't schlep this chazzerai on Shabbos!
Quote Of The Week: "We're walking in tall cotton." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry is equally excited about seeing his pal Jay Leno on 60 Minutes as he is about a successful trip to the supermarket. Also, Larry loves "My Fair Lady," and recites the poem "Leisure" by William Henry Davies.
Quote Of The Week: "By the way, I'm 5% kidding about that." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry talks about his early days operating a church key for his old man. And we hear about how he is coming to appreciate his kids as real people. Also, Larry recites "A Madrigal" by Shakespeare and talks about "The Outlaw Josey Wales."
Quote Of The Week: "I was a pretty good pourer." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry talks about reluctantly having to use the (ahem) facilities on an airplane for the first time ever. We hear an impressive reading of "Death Shall Have No Dominion" by Dylan Thomas and then Larry talks about the great play and movie "Billy Budd."
Quote Of The Week: "They look like nice guys. Like carpet salesmen." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Celebrate the new year with Larry as he tells stories about his trip to England! Plus, Larry recites "Auld Lang Syne" and more importantly, explains what it means! Then hear a little bit about how it became a holiday tradition.
Quote Of The Week: "That's not Big Ben. That's The Queen's Tower."
We hope you enjoy this special treat from Larry, Dr. Chris and Colonel Jeff. We're bringing you a New Year's episode of The Fred Allen Show which originally aired on 12/14/47. Fred Allen was known for his quick ad libs and cornball recurring characters. Although the show may sound tame by today's standards, his wordplay and double entendre pushed to the edges of acceptable content in its day and he was often censored by the network. Listen for the punchline of the "rainmaker" joke in this episode. Allen and Jack Benny had a completely made up show biz feud that went on for decades. Enjoy and we'll see you next week!
We hope you enjoy this little Christmas present from Larry, Dr. Chris and Colonel Jeff. We're bringing you a Christmas episode of The Jack Benny Show, arguably the best old time radio comedy. The episode originally aired 12/24/44. We think the humor is sharp and quirky and holds up surprisingly well almost 70 years later. Enjoy and we'll see you in the new year.
Larry's Christmas extravaganza returns with the telling of his "Does He Drink Coffee?" story, a tradition we started last year, when Larry returned from his accident. We bring you a Christmas joke of the week, a bonus Christmas song parody and then Larry recites the poem "A Visit From Santa." From Larry, Dr. Chris and Colonel Jeff, we wish you all a merry Christmas and a happy new year! Thanks for listening!
Quote Of The Week: "It's just a suggestion. I don't exist to tell you what to do in life." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
The battle of the thermostat begins anew! Then Larry recites "She Walks In Beauty" by Lord Byron and we hear about a great old movie, "Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House" on The Magic Movie Moment.
Quote Of The Week: "She's sometimes very fond of me." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry tells about trying to hypothetically sidestep his wedding vows with a time machine plus we get a recap of his Thanksgiving shenanigans. And then he recites "Blow, Blow Thou Winter Winds" by Shakespeare.
Quote Of The Week: "People were walking like Frankenstein." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
We do a tribute to the great actor, Ed Lauter, who recently passed away with a Magic Movie Moment from "The Longest Yard." And Larry will make you hungry with his description of Thanksgiving vittles. For poetry corner, Larry recites "Red, Red Rose" by Robert Burns. Don't be a turkey, turkey and tune in!
Quote Of The Week: "I'd be a terrible idiot if I didn't know it by heart." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry talks about how moved he was by Batkid and the outpouring of support people showed for him. Then we learn how Larry heard about the JFK assassination as a youngster. For Poetry Corner, we hear "One Art" by Elizabeth Bishop. And for Magic Movie Moment, we revisit Smokey and The Bandit.
Quote Of The Week: "The guy with the big eyes that looks surprised now." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Hear a hilarious tale of how Larry and Jerry Seinfeld once unwittingly terrified a young Yakov Smirnoff. That leads to a re-telling of Larry's hilarious "one no good, five OK" story, where Larry, Jerry and Yakov go to Tijuana to buy fireworks. We do "They Were Expendable" on the Magic Movie Moment, in honor of Veterans Day and "Death Be Not Proud," by John Donne on The Poetry Corner.
Quote Of The Week: "He was now the head and face of Jerry Seinfeld." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
We do an ode to Hal Needham, stuntman and director and Larry talks about Halloween and Daylight Savings and why he loves only one of them. Then Larry recites "Carpe Diem" by Shakespeare and talks about the movie "How Green Was My Valley." (Spoiler alert: very green.) Tune in anyway, for Pete's sake!
Quote Of The Week: "It confuses the cows." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Hear how Larry wound up eating veal parmesan for breakfast. (At least he didn't try to order quiche!) We hear about a great moment from one of the Pink Panther movies. Then Larry recites "A Song" by William Blake, which is actually a poem, but at least it's spelled phonetically, which is more than we can say for the word "phonetically."
Larry looks back on his recent birthday and fondly cherishes the simple moments. Especially since nobody gave him a hat. Then Larry recites "The Pig" by Roald Dahl for The Poetry Corner and Larry goes ape over the original 1933 King Kong for The Magic Movie Moment.
Quote Of The Week: "I'd like some of this furniture to take home." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry goes bonkers after eating a piece of seaweed foisted on him by Dr. Chris right before we record this episode. Then Larry recites "Alone" by Edgar Allan Poe and we also hear about Larry's fondness for the movies of Penelope Ann Miller.
Quote Of The Week: "It's a stupid food." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry has another "time well spent" moment with one of his sons, having the time of his life doing something small. Plus, we have an ode the the boy tenor, then Larry reads "Jabberwocky" by Lewis Carroll. And we hear possibly the shaggiest of shaggy dog jokes that has ever been read on this show.
Quote Of The Week: "Honey, good idea." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry talks about a "tea ceremony" that he attended and how much he enjoyed it, even though he didn't understand any of it. Then Larry recites, "No Man Is An Island" by poet John Donne. Our movie this week is the classic The African Queen, starring Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn.
Quote Of The Week: "God only knows what she would have cut off tonight." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Boats, ships, yachts, dinghies, canoes, rafts, gondolas, catamarans, arks, barges, schooners, scows, skiffs and sloops -- Larry hates them all. This week,we hear another story of Larry pretending to have a good time on the high seas. Plus, the poem "Remember" by Christina Rosetti and our Magic Movie Moment aptly comes from the 1953 version of the movie Titanic.
Quote Of The Week: "I'm happy for you. I really am."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry talks more about driving an Escalade -- the places he went, the friends he ran over. Then Larry does a little a capella number from "South Pacific" and reads a poem by Joyce Kilmer. Hear about this week's Magic Movie Moment, James Cagney in "The Fighting 69th."
Quote Of The Week: "And, well, make other animals." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
You're gonna love this week's episode -- they'll have a happy hour. Also, Larry gives us another tip on how to be a good husband. Besides that, Larry wonders if a bark is ever worse than its respective bite. Then Larry recites "Psalm of Life" by Longfellow.
Quote Of The Week: "Maybe they'll let you fly the plane."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Yes, it's our annual Labor Day special to mark what we feel is the true start of the new year. We hear about Larry and his baby comic buddies watching ladies across the way and icebergs in Santa Monica on Labor Day. Then Larry recites the poem "Requiem For The Croppies" by the famous poet Seamus Heaney, who recently passed away.
Quote Of The Week: "She's doing it again!"
Mogambo! Larry talks about the movie Mogambo and how you really can't beat Eva Gardner and Grace Kelly in the same movie. And we hear a good joke about Mr. Murphy in a bar and then Larry recites "Domestic Silence" by Scroobius Pip on The Poetry Corner.
Quote Of The Week: "Some pinhead is always going to have a lot of questions."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry talks a little bit about his son enlisting in the Marines and contrasts it with him signing up for a diet plan. Also, we get another dose of Shakespeare on a lovely summer's day, then Larry talks a bit about how much he loves Natalie Wood in "West Side Story." We also try to get to the bottom of the expression "ballpark figure" but our answer turns out to be nothing more than a ballpark figure.
Quote Of The Week: "It was always the roof of the fraternity with us."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry talks about one of the great noir films of all time, Double Indemnity. We ruminate of the supposed sportiness of sport utility vehicles. Then someone was kind enough to send Larry some Tim Hortons coffee. Will he finally muster the strength to try some now that it's in his very own house? Tune in and find out!
Quote Of The Week: "Toilet paper, or if you go to a real classy Costco, bath tissue." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry shows up at the studio sneezing and sweating, but soldiers through, reciting some Shakespeare and talking about one of his favorite movies, "Our Man Flint." Be sure to tune in for this extra extra extra spicy episode and stand around the virtual potato chip bowl with Larry!
Quote Of The Week: "Never mind why." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry Miller puts his pants on like everyone else -- 1.5 seconds before he walks onto The Tonight Show. We hear about Larry's love for James Bond, a poem by Steven Crane and a long awaited FECTA UPDATE!
Quote Of The Week: "I'm not a big panicky type."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry bids a fond farewell to Dennis Farina, an actor he admired and had a chance to work with. Larry recounts a previously told story about taking a sip from Dennis' coffee cup on the set of a movie. Then Larry gives us a sample of a little western ditty they sang together. On poetry corner, Larry recites "The Tiger" by William Blake. Quote Of The Week: "It was meek. It was undervalued."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry returns from Canada in full fine mettle, with stories of lunch with the great actor Jon Polito, shooting a film at a toxic industrial site and the many things he did not do. For the Magic Movie Moment, Larry talks about Miller's Crossing (no relation). And did Larry finally make it to Tim Hortons? Tune in and find out! Quote Of The Week: "Oh, you'll know." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry got waylayed in Canada again. Here's a quick message from the old soap-stacker to let you know the episode will be up later in the day on Wednesday. Nominum quid geminus!?
On this week's magical mystery podcast, hear about Larry's heroic battle with HRD, or Hotel Room's Disease, a debilitating fictional disorder. Plus, Larry refuses to lie down in Boeing's bed. Then he reads "A Line-Storm Song" by Robert Frost. And was Larry able to screw up the courage to drink Tim Hortons coffee on his latest trip to Canada? Tune in and find out! Quote Of The Week: "Wearing makeup all day is hard."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry is stuck in Canada, so the latest episode will be up later today, rather than first thing in the morning. Thanks for your patience. And until then, have your Canadian friends call their member of parliament and demand Larry's release! Attica! Attica!
Hear Larry's love letter to the classic film actress Joan Leslie, best known from Sgt. York and Hollywood Canteen. And he prepares to return to Vancouver to finish his movie and HOPEFULLY get up the nerve to drink some Tim Hortons coffee. Also, Larry recites the poem "Daffodils" by Wordsworth and we hear a joke about a talking dog.
Quote Of The Week: "What do you have coming in, a worm that sings?"
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry is a principled man and just will not drink Tim Hortons coffee. Save any acrimony until after you hear the reason why. Then hear about how much Larry loves the opening sequence to "The Rifleman." And Larry aptly recites "All The World's A Stage" by Shakespeare, before tearing out the door to an acting job.
Quote Of The Week: "You're actually very close to seeing God again right now."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Post Father's Day, Larry gets nostalgic for his dear old Dad. We hear about one of Larry's favorite Dad movies, "To Kill A Mockingbird." And then Larry does a recital of the poem "A Poison Tree" by William Blake. There is also a lengthy discussion of the value and worth of bellybuttons. This week's vocabulary builder word is "umbilicoplasty."
Quote Of The Week: "Did you forget your bellybutton?" Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry tells tales of his youth, drinking flaming shots and having to explain the inevitable aftermath to his parents. We hear about how much Larry loves, "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance." Then we hear Larry's recital of Robert Frost's "After Apple Picking." And how he felt like a Klingon, of course.
Quote Of The Week: "A comedian?" Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry talks about a movie he's on that is shooting in a veterinary clinic and how all the rules are out the door. Then we hear about Citizen Kane and Larry recites the poem "The Mermaid" by Tennyson. Also Larry argues with himself about whether he'd rather fight one bear-sized bee or 100 bee-sized bears.
Quote Of The Week: "I can live without honey." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Of all the podcasts in all the towns in all the world, you walk into ours. Larry's love of Casablanca takes over for a nearly episode-long "Magic Movie Moment." Then we hear a great reading of a classic Dylan Thomas poem, plus a recap of Memorial Day war pictures on cable TV. Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Hear about Larry loafing in someone else's trailer on a movie set and how much he enjoyed it. Then we answer the question, "Does a bear joke in the woods?" We finally put the Poe in The Poetry Corner. And we do another lap around loving Leslie Nielsen for this week's Magic Movie Moment, plus a nod to the great actor Joe Grifasi.
Quote of the week: "Oh, that's right, I'm a bear."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
This episode comes to a COMPLETE halt when a pretty girl walks by the studio and of course, we don't edit it out. Then, it's so hot outside that we read a poem about summer heat, even though it's only spring.
Quote of the week: "In that case, let us know what it was like to hitchhike over there."
Larry talks about the joys of a home-cooked meal with his family. And then everyone went into separate rooms. And we get not one but TWO jokes of the week! Then Larry says why the implausibility of "The Gold Diggers Of 1933" is exactly what makes it so great.
Quote of the week: "You couldn't get a meal like this in a hotel."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
We hear about the Ballad of Yukon Jake, why the Three Stooges are so darn admirable and why wax statues are so darn creepy. Even though Larry's logey from too much Korean BBQ at lunch, he battles back from the nods to bring you this week's episode! Don't worry, it's a REGULAR joint, not a regular JOINT.
Quote of the week: "The joke is fiiiiiine."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Hear how Larry's so-called manners lost him an agent. What goes best with KFC, The Maltese Falcon and a six-pack of beer? Nothing! Or should we say nobody. A listener asks if Larry wears a suit and tie when recording the podcast? Um, sure! The sweatpants and moccasins are just for the photo. What is he, Mr. Goodwrench?
Quote of the week: "Look, Mr. Stupid."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry gets so distracted by Burt Lancaster that he forgets to do The Poetry Corner. (Don't worry, the show still winds up going 17 minutes longer than it's supposed to.) We hear lots about Leslie Nielsen and Forbidden Planet. Plus, we get a triple shot of Joke Of The Week courtesy of classic comedian Myron Cohen!
Quote of the week: "Audition, eh?"
Larry admits that he would have liked to kiss Annette Funicello and also that he loves "I Love Lucy." We get a double shot of the joke of the week, plus a pretty spectacular poem on The Poetry Corner.
Quote of the week: "Boy, I sounded like someone's grandfather saying that." Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Larry got booked on a new show early this week, so this week's This Week will be released later in the day on Wednesday, instead of the usual first thing on Wednesday morning. Thanks for your patience and stay tuned! The new episode will be along shortly. Nominum quid geminus!?
Larry does not suffer April fools lightly. He looks up the origin of April Fools Day and the information doesn't make him like it any better. In honor of the start of baseball season, we hear a classic baseball poem and talk about the movie "The Pride of the Yankees." There is no joy in Level 5 City, the mighty Larry has struck out.
Quote of the week: "He said something in old English. And then they skinned you."
Producer: Colonel Jeff Fox Audio Engineer: Dr. Chris Laxamana
Many a PhD thesis has been written about who has told the greatest garbage disposal story of all time. Miguel De Cervantes? Sun Tzu? Hildegard of Bingen? With this episode, we believe we have settled the matter. Also, we bring you not one, but two excellent jokes of the week, another Ogden Nash poem and some odd inflections by Larry.
Quote of the week: "Just wait, my son. Wait and watch."
Larry mulls over the meaning of St. Patrick's Day, we hear our show's motto in Klingon, Larry reluctantly tells this week's joke of the week and so much more.
Quote of the week: "I take that back. EVERYTHING against snakes!"
We hear how a young Larry got duped into swearing a lot to try to impress a girl. Guess how that worked out? And he talks about Plan 9 From Outer Space and how Daylight Savings Time should be a holiday.
Quote of the week: "That's like blanking the blank if you blank the blank."
Larry goes not gangsta, but gangster. This week, find out why the sequester means nothing, nothing means nothing, why you shouldn't hang out naked inside a refrigerator and why you shouldn't accept a ride to the airport from a guy named "Knuckles."
Quote of the week: "This sounds like a lot of hooey."
Larry is absurdly amused by this week's musical question. Which leads into a hilarious story about his days in high school musicals. The Hamper Update becomes the hamper stalemate, then motorcycle jokes, funny poems and more. Remember, it's This Week With Larry Miller--the world's only 50 minute long half hour show!
Quote of the week: "What an elegant bathroom we have made for ourselves."
Larry struggles to get excited about Presidents Day and lobbies for a better holiday, like Sean Connery Day or better yet, Bond Girls Day. Now, there's a holiday worth closing a bank over. Plus a bonus poem in this week's "Poetry Corner."
Quote of the week: "A good boy always carries a clean hankie."
Larry drives up the coast for his first live appearance and can't stop eating split pea soup. We wait in vain hoping to hear the Pope to say, "Nominum quid geminus?" Plus, the premiere of a new segment, "The Magic Movie Moment."
Quote of the week: "It's like a blimp shot."
Larry laments that there the Super Bowl doesn't have any purpose-made novelty foods, like the rest of American holidays. That's right, we're calling it a holiday. Larry is also unimpressed by too many replays or the fact that the Harbaugh brothers are brothers. We have one of the best Poetry Corner segments so far.
Quote of the week: "Get your own show."
Larry talks about the difference between being an entertainer and inspired lunacy. We hear about Andy Kaufman playing at Carnegie Hall, 99 bottles of beer and joke-telling during a city-wide blackout. Then we wonder where Car 54 really is.
Quote of the week: "Walk that plank."
Inspired by a Jimmy Breslin quote Larry waxes nostalgic about the "crooks" and other characters he met while his father worked as a criminal defense attorney. We also learn how to REALLY ruin a 1964 Fury III and why honest people can't be trusted.
Hear about the joy of free bar-b-que, buffets and the debatable merits of the McRib. We also hear about cheap Brooklyn coats, how to repel alien invaders and how to give birth on a kitchen table, not once, but twice.
Quote of the week: "There are cavemen that would look at you and say, 'Take it easy.'"
Larry returns to his podcast and tells the story of the accident that put him in the hospital and sidelined him for nine months.
Quote of the week: "Hey, Dad, didn't you break your brain?"
Larry's new year's resolution is to teach you the difference between a tuba and a sousaphone. (Setting achievable goals is a key to a successful life.)
Gather up your foul weather gear in your best rucksack. Larry talks about the seemingly endless sheets of rain that are soaking the Southern California area. It's OK, we really need it.
Hear "Our Man Miller's" imitation of his own ringtone, which is, of course, even funnier than the orignal ringtone. Then he talks about working with Bobbie Phillips on the movie Carnival of Souls. Find out the REAL reason that Larry's glad he's not a stunningly beautiful woman.
Then enjoy a quick stop on Rabbit Island, as Larry discusses recipes sent in by readers. Can Larry segue from Armistice Day into how much he hates the circus? You better believe it, Otto Von Barnum.
Happy new year from Larry and everyone on the show!
Quote of the week: "It's not her job to see the romance in it."
The hamper update to end all hamper updates. We know we've said it before, but this time, we mean it. Yes, the hamper update takes an unexpected turn that was completely expected. By the time it's over, Larry is as close to being the Dad from A Christmas Story as he could possibly be.
Larry saves his wife from a bloodthirsty, gigantic slug. And does soap-bar melding float your boat? Then get ready for the RETURN OF THE FIVEFECTA, or "How Larry Got His Soap Mojo Back."
But wait, there's more! We award honorary doctorates and Colonel ranks to the first 500,000 listeners who download this episode!
Yes, listen to this week's This Week With Larry Miller and you'll be walking in tall cotton. Possibly in a raccoon coat. That's Dr. Colonel Larry Miller to you, sir.
Quote of the week: "Daddy has protected the house once again from all varmints & creatures."
We couldn't let the tradition lapse, so we snuck Larry into the studio just to record the annual re-telling of his Christmas story, "Does He Drink Coffee?" Merry Christmas to all of our listeners. Thanks again for your patience and support.
Quote of the week: "If you needed a gun, call me. He'll get you one."
Larry Miller talks about the death and burial of a loyal shirt and the socks that loved it. And admits to being a trekkie.
Yes, Larry powers through a cold to deliver another slam-bang-pow (cough) show. After weeks of preaching the wonders of the spit-bucket, Larry talks about the one time he kept eating food on a set. Yes, on this episode, we hear about Larry eating turkey with William Shatner for seven hours. And so much more.
Until next week, live Larry and prosper.
Quote of the week: "I will admit the hula-dancing, green-skinned woman is still in my mind."
You can fall off a barstool, but you can never fall off the floor. Or so says Larry in this episode.
Larry talks about bending an elbow with some fans in Tallahassee. Also, in lieu of a secret handshake for Larry Miller Drinking Society members, we come up with a verbal code. We'd tell you about it here, but it's verbal! You'll just have to listen to this episode.
Then Larry talks about being persistently lunkheaded or lunkheadedly persistent with a big-time talent agent in New York City in the 1980s.
There are updates aplenty this week, include a hamper update, a fourfecta update (formerly the bifecta update) and an all new update that is ever so exciting.
And remember, Larry's a nice boy with a clean hankie.
Quote of the week: "He was already listing to port."
Our rakish raconteur talks about why a poor man's tow shot is better than a regular tow shot. Plus, hear about the horror of new hand towels!
And could this latest hamper update be the last hamper update ever? Is Larry taking matters into his own hands? Is he putting this controversy to rest once and for all? Why, it's inconthievable!
Quote of the week: "I hope Drano hires a million people a day."
"The theme of this show is all about throwing things up," says Larry. Well, yes and no. On a completely unrelated note, the Upland chapter of the LMDS checks in, sharing an absinthe-based drink recipe. We ruminate, confab and otherwise mull over what exactly absinthe is and ain't.
Also in this episode, Larry is a world-class "opener and closer of things" and isn't shy about admitting it. He once again expresses disgust and general loathing for the metric system. Who's with us? Burma? Liberia? Anyone else? You'll all come crawling back someday!
And just when you thought there would be no more hamper updates, intrigue and suspense ensue! What's the future of Larry's fourfecta? Will it break? Will it go to five? Will it go on tour? Tune in to find out!
Quote of the week: "Once you start talking like Foghorn Leghorn, you really can't stop." (Selected by a quorum of LMDS Members.)
Larry gets lost in a convention of Elvis impersonators at an Indian casino and, not surprisingly, has the time of life.
Is Larry losing the battle of the wills? Find out in this week's HAMPER UPDATE! And what do goofy guards in South Africa have to do with Sonny Burgess and the Legendary Pacers? Listen in and find out! Nominum quid geminus!?
Quote of the week: "She knew I was, what's the word...lying."
Larry intros this rerun with an announcement about his return to the podcasting airwaves.
For you Larryphiles out there, note that this is the episode that was recorded the day after the "Lost Episode," which was aired last week. Stay tuned at the end of this show for a little bonus 3 minute promo for this episode that we're pretty sure was never used.
In this episode: Larry speaks out against the dine and ditch. You know, the chew and screw? The eat and fleet? The mash and dash? The ol' grub and snub? (Is anyone still reading?) You get the point.
And why does Larry always get blamed for things? Whatever the reason is, it must be in his chromosomes, because now his kids are getting blamed for things as well.
Then we get to hear about the day Larry learned he could chug beer and him getting knocked out by a left hook. Are these two stories related? The smart money is on "yes." Later, Larry sarcastically lobbies for giving Guinness to children.
And finally comes the tale of the enemies Larry is inadvertently making on Facebook. Is another left hook coming his way? Again, the smart money is on "yes."
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us, The Count of Monte Sarcasm has left the building.
Quote of the week: "Watch out for lefty."
We have a special Halloween treat for you! We've uncovered a "lost episode" of This Week With Larry Miller!
Larry talks about getting nervous around authority figures and his unsuccessful attempts to turn a profit on drinking scotch. Plus, he gets scoffed at by hobos.
This episode was originally recorded June 6th, 2011 and was supposed to be TWWLM episode #223. For reasons no one can remember, we decided to re-record the episode the next day. The result was the episode "Dine and Dash With Larry Miller" which was released on June 8th, 2011.
But the first recording was lost in the This Week With Larry Miller archives UNTIL NOW! Interestingly, the two episodes turned out very different, despite Larry working from the same show notes.
Quote of the week: "As long as I'm pulled over, why don't I shoot it out?"
Larry stumbles across a nude beach and makes a spectacle. No, not a pair of glasses so he could see better, he makes a spectacle with his reaction.
The great hunter returns from Vancouver with tales of long walks, comedic cheese-takes (not to be confused with comedic cheesesteaks) and eating lunch next to a toxic waste cleanup site.
Larry also espouses the philosophy of finding "another tiny drop," and no, Mr. Funny Person, he's not talking about booze. Well, not this time, anyway. In addition, we hear about the deceptively wisdom of Honus Wagner, Casey Stengal and Mickey Mantle.
We also find out that we don't know what tilapia is. And more importantly, we find out that we don't care.
So, go polish up your fancy two-tone spectator shoes and take a stroll until you're walking like John Wayne.
The quote of the week: "By missile it was two hours."
We've thrown in a little bonus at the end of this rerun, a 3 minute audio promo for this episode that we found in our archives.
A special international episode of TWWLM! Yes, Larry gets called away on short notice to work on a movie in Canada, but we still figure out a way to bring you this week's This Week.
We link up to Larry through the Sensaround Satellite system to the Level Five North studios in Flin Flon, Manitoba. Okay, Larry called in with Skype from his hotel room in Vancouver.
Join us as we hear about Larry's biennial hummus digestion dilemma. And who says America doesn't export anything anymore? And what is the metric equivalent of a volleyball-sized glop of hummus?
Larry talks about getting great pour of Guinness with some new Canadian pals and a less-successful attempt at finding some waffles in the wee hours of the morning.
We also hear about Larry's excessive sweating and stammering when dealing with customs agents. Then we find out why Larry spent two hours in the shower. Also, Larry races against carmageddon to come home and visit his family in Los Angeles. And don't take this personally, but YOU'RE not the Duke of Cambridge.
The quote of the week: "Chicken fried something."
Larry tells tales from the start of the Million Martini March and shares signs of the end of the world.
We hear about Larry and the crew's trip our for hot shaves, martinis, chicken and waffles. Then he talks about a commercial he saw while watching the Jets game that upset him to the very core of his soul. By the end of this episode, you'll realize the huge difference between "and...?" and "and by..."
Also, Larry waxes nostalgic for the likes of Anita Ekberg and Anne Jeffreys. Then we hear about what you DON'T want to hear at a silent auction.
That's right, honey. You're a winner.
Quote of the week: "That's the and. AND I'm calling security."
Hear how to maximize the laughs you can get from an $8 pair of underwear.Plus, we have a lotta errata. Larry offers a REALLY good apology to Ray’s Really Good Beef Jerky. Larry also talks about the joy he gets from being wrong and apologizing. Plus, the joke of the week, a fecta update, plus the story of a boy and his gun. Awwwww.Quote of the week: “Quick like the bunny. Not slow like the bear.”
Larry grinds the granny gear as a chain smokin', C.B. jokin' truck driving S.O.B. (With all due respect to Deadbolt.) Yes, hear about how a teenaged Larry bluffed his way into a job behind the wheel of a commercial truck.The battle of the battered hamper continues in the Miller household. Larry and his wife both respond by throwing their clothes in a pile on the floor for three weeks. Larry again talks about his reluctance to chuck worn out clothes. Then we hear about a listener who is mourning the loss of his beloved soap bar collection, which was not-so-inadvertently thrown out by his wife.What's the difference between the number 6 and the number 9? (If you said 3, you may be right and also possibly a smart aleck.) And we also learn that it's very, very difficult to park an aircraft carrier in Afghanistan. And learn the difference between white meat and the other white meat.And by...Quote of the week: "I'm white meat."
Larry Miller -- tool maker, stacker of wheat -- opens with a tribute to actor Warren Stevens, then segues into memories of Ricardo Montalban and The Naked Gun. Then he talks about how he's not a hero with hot food, yet he does manage to rescue some hot wings from peril.Is this episode better than pork? You make the call!Quote of the week: "I'm usually unabashed."
Larry takes Jerry Seinfeld and George Wallace to help him pick out a a brand new 1989 Mercury Colony Park wagon back in, well, 1989 obviously. Porsche? Nah. Camaro? Feh. The Colony Park winds up being his chick magnet! Also, Larry talks about his wardrobe, including his 30-year-old pants and why there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. Don't judge, you! And find out the the best place for clam chowder. Is it Boston? Is it San Francisco? Is it in your shirt pocket?And Larry returns from the road to find his house in an odd state. Yes, of course he finds it in the state of California, smart guy. But he more specifically finds it in a state of disarray! This tale is replete with intrigue! Sabotage! Hampers! Newspapers!Has Larry laughed in the face of the soap gods once again by pushing the bounds of how many bars of soap can be melded together? Or has he learned his lesson and stuck with four bars? Act surprised when you hear the answer, OK?Will the show lose its edge if it starts making a million dollars? We say no, but we sure would like the chance to find out.Remember, you can't say hiLARIous Without Larry and you don't have to be a Rockefeller to help a fella.Quote of the week: "Talk about old fashioned. She's just a lunatic."
Larry talks about spending an involuntary vacation in the snow. Plus, we hear about his search for really good beef jerky, really good pistachios and really good martini olives.Then Larry welcomes the new year, but not for too long. That's enough. And Larry teases us with the possible existence of an eightfecta, possibly to be known colloquially as the octafecta?We also have a long overdue and very serious hamper update. And a joke of the week? And a safety razor update? That's our update update. Quote of the week: "What are you gonna do on the 4th? Read the Declaration of Independence?"
Larry does an unplanned 20 minute tutorial on making martinis, then apologizes for his previous apologies. This is the first time a drink recipe has included the expressions, "Show it who's boss," "Big triple to the power alley" and "Beat it around the fleet."As always, all stories are guaranteed true and stirred, not shaken. Quote of the week: "Fellas, you look lonely. Would you like to meet someone who's just like you?"
Three kinds of people walk in LA. And courtesy of a dead car battery, Larry becomes one of them and fails to conquer time. Then Larry tells of his longing for McClure's pickles and of hinge abuses around his house during possibly his most rambunctious hamper update ever.A John Carradine AND a David Carradine reference in one episode? Plus Larry gets the website address right for 3 weeks in a row? Plus, this is our longest episode ever by 46 whole seconds! You're welcome! (This IS a half-hour show, you know.) Pinch yourself. You may be dreaming.Quote of the week: "It's just as good as the pickle story."
Larry talks about his trip to Dallas, continuing his tradition of plugging shows once they are already past. Then Larry visits "Camp Shakeitoff," a lovely place where we won't be talking about feelings and there will be no therapists on speed dial.Also, we hear about possums and their habit of playing, well, you know, possum. Plus, two new segments! And of course, that means two new wacky sound effects.As always, all stories are guaranteed true, Pluto is a planet and don't rat to Larry's wife, you. Quote of the week: "Thank God it was a paperback."
Spit buckets and broken legs are afoot in this week's episode as Larry talks about some of his favorite show business superstitions and traditions. Who has better taste in Clairol Girls, Larry or his son? YOU make the call! The good news is that Dr. Laxamana has returned to work, more gruntled than ever! Remember, all stories guaranteed true and Homer is Homer! And this week's guest star is Larry Miller.Quote of the week: "It was the Earl of Oxford who worked in the box factory."
Larry hopes you screwed up Valentine’s Day. Hear why he thinks it’s a good idea to flub this holiday or at least phone it in. See you at the all-night jewelry store!On what seems to be a related matter but is not, Larry once again professes his love of being wrong. Then we hear about a drinker he met on a plane that put him to shame. This, plus a joke, two updates and about 14 topics we never got to on this week’s This Week With Larry Miller!Quote of the week: “Get a load of you. Get a load of you.”
Larry is smitten with Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardashian and Scarlett Johansson. Will his love be requited, even though the top of his head is missing?Larry talks about how hard modeling is. Don't hate him because he's beautiful. Then we hear about a woman who wouldn't believe that Larry was Larry and why you shouldn't bother starting a diet until after the Super Bowl.And we have a new update, the update update. Is this the update to end all updates? Or is it no update at all? (A gong rings in the distance.)That's it? You're done reading the episode description? Doesn't surprise me. You've done nothing but complain since you got here.Quote of the week: "This way, no one knows you're bald."
Larry tells how to hide 20 bottles of Jameson's behind a quart of milk and a sheepish grin. Then we hear about how in marriage math, one hour can equal TWO POINT EIGHT HOURS!Also, in this incredibly historic episode, we launch the Larry Miller Drinking Society Museum of Glad Tidings and the Larry Miller Drinking Society's Million Martini March! Some day, you'll tell your Grandkids where you were when you heard about this. We also get a visit from the joke of the week!Quote of the week: "There are weddings in Dublin that don't have that much Jameson's."
Sanctimonious loudmouths and hamper slackers alike receive Larry's high dudgeon this week. Yes, we get another acrimonious (but not sanctimonious) Hamper Update and a bonus joke of the week -- all at no extra charge!Will Larry read the stage direction in the Shari's Berries ad copy again? Will he slice his face to ribbons again? Smart money is on "Oh, mmmmmaybe."How is safety razor shaving related to the movie Network? How is the Hamper Update related the movie Patton? Tune in to our longest and therefore bestest episode ever where the answer to all of these mysteries will be revealed. All. questions will be answered. All fears will be allayed. Over and out from stately Miller manor.Quote of the week: "With what, a bowie knife?"
Larry takes apart his trademark sign off -- just a little bit. After getting grouchy with his family on the way to Fab Dogs, he winds up laughing his way into Ralphs. Or should we say, "Rowfs. Rowfs. Rowfs. Rowfs."Larry then tells a very funny joke. Plus we get a hamper update, a fivefecta update AND a leg lamp all in one episode! Don't bother pinching yourself. You're not dreaming. Also on this week's This Week, our engineeer, Dr. Chris Laxamana, LMDS is MIA and presumed snoggered.All stories guaranteed true or double your money back!Quote of the week: "Gee, I hope nothing happened to him."
The old fivefecter himself checks in with a message for the LMDS at the top of this week's show!Then, in this week's rebroadcast, Larry eats hot Cambodian food with a tunnel rat from Drake's Drum. And so goes the world's most enigmatic episode description. Eh, shift happens.Yes, hear about Larry dining with one of his drinking pals, whose food was so spicy, Larry couldn't even stand to SMELL it!Also, baseball players are funnier than you think. Especially when they're pretending someone stinks. And so goes the world's least amusing rhyme. But hear about Cleveland's Josh Tomlin getting upstaged by a teammate on TV.Then Larry talks about the wonders of nature. You know, the rainbows, the hummingbirds, the copperhead snakes that drop on you from trees, the river-borne parasites that'll make you think twice about getting your swim trunks wet.Finally Larry declares which airport is the greatest in the US. Will it be O'Hare? Newark? Kalamazoo/Battle Creek International? Is the suspense killing you? With boredom? Tune in and find out. The quote of the week is silence.
Larry tells tales from the start of the Million Martini March and shares signs of the end of the world. We hear about Larry and the crew's trip our for hot shaves, martinis, chicken and waffles. Then he talks about a commercial he saw while watching the Jets game that upset him to the very core of his soul. By the end of this episode, you'll realize the huge difference between "and...?" and "and by..."Also, Larry waxes nostalgic for the likes of Anita Ekberg and Anne Jeffreys. Then we hear about what you DON'T want to hear at a silent auction.That's right, honey. You're a winner.Quote of the week: "That's the and. AND I'm calling security."
Larry goes to the emergency room with his son after he gets beaned playing baseball. Larry tells us how to enjoy spending time in a hospital and how to hail the world's biggest cab. Not in the same night, though.Then we hear about Larry trying to act like a hot shot while at the hardware store. Other important topics covered include Larry's love of blue Bic pens and yellow legal pads, his battles over the air conditioner in his house.Listen to this show and you'll be happy. And we'll be happy. And the lights will be happy, because they're on. And you'll wake up in manure bark. All stories on This Week With Larry Miller are certified 100% true and MSG free!The quote of the week: "We love the show. Does Larry like our olives?"
Another encore presentation! Yes, you remember Roger, Dwayne and Encore Presentation from What's Happening, right?Larry goes into the lioness' den and does a hamper update from his own home! Yes, Larry risks life and limb by doing a hamper update right under his wife's nose. How could that be a problem?Yes, Larry's about to head out for a bunch of dates on the road, so we thought we would rehearse some remote records before he steps out into the world, so this show is brought to you live by remote from less than 10 miles from the ACE Broadcasting studio. Isn't the future amazing, folks?Quote of the week: "You're too suspicious."
This episode contains more borscht references than you can shake a soup spoon at. Hear beefy hunk Larry Miller explain the subtle comedic difference between "Ah" and "A-ha." We get a fistful of updates, including the most acrimonious hamper update to date. Then Larry tells a story about battling with other comics with food in a diner back in the day. This episode is over. Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier!Quote of the week: "I am 'In-The-Groove Jackson' now."
A rare outtake from the TWWLM archives is unearthed and aired for your enjoyment and Colonel Jeff's shame.Then, an encore presentation of a redux! A redux squared?Larry performs one of his signature comedy routines, "The Five Levels of Drinking." This is the first time Larry has ever done this bit NOT in front of a live audience!He then urges caution on the rules for a proposed Larry Miller drinking game. By the way...Later, Larry placates the stateside listeners who feel like they are not getting as much attention as overseas listeners in "exotic" locations. Also hear about normal people, lunatics and actors and how to tell the difference. (Spoiler alert -- normal people and actors don't carry parrots around.)In Larry Miller Drinking Society news, Larry thanks the listeners for abundant suggestions for Latin mottos. Membership cards are in the works! Thanks for your patience.Learn about the joys of swag. Larry gets free booze from the Carolla studio and a free bathrobe from Arsenio Hall and loves them both.
Larry gets murdered (on screen) and meets a rock icon all in one episode! Hear Larry describe running into Keith Richards in an airport, after eyeballing his wife. Is Keith Richards the coolest guy ever? Possibly, but you'll have to listen to find out for sure.Then Larry talks about his role in the new Bobcat Goldthwait movie and goes into great detail regarding the craft of being killed onscreen. Wait, are you supposed to say "spolier alert" BEFORE or AFTER you say stuff like that? We'll look into that. At any rate, Larry talks about some of his favorite movie deaths and why he thinks they are so great, mentioning Ghost, Hunt for Red October and what's that James Bond film? Oh, OCTOPUSSY!Are you a (ahem) "friend of the show?" Or do you know Joe? Well, come right in, pal. Meet this week's fictional guests (none of whom actually appear in the studio) Senator Claghorn, Duncan "Sticks" Wimpress and, of course, OCTOPUSSY!
If Larry was a hot dog, what would he be? You've heard Larry obsess over pies, booze, soap and pretzels. Could hot dogs be far behind? No.Larry talks about eating a hot dog named after Charlie Sheen. He compares and contrasts his hot dog stand dining experience with that of a big-ticket steak joint in Beverly Hills. You may be surprised which one he thought was "time well spent." (Unless you are a regular listener, in which case, the answer will be quite obvious.)Hear our man Larry go bananas over a Green Lantern pin sent in by a listener. Listen as Larry defends and slightly admires Charlie Sheen, talks about meeting Peter Billingsley, gets nostalgic for Chicago dogs and reads hand-written letters from members of the Larry Miller Drinking Society.Quote of the week:"If that doesn't sound pretty good, I believe you're listening to the wrong show."
A Larry update from producer Colonel Jeff -- Larry is doing really, really well, but is going to need more time to recuperate before he gets back into the studio. Thanks for all of your kind comments, support and patience! Rest assured, he IS on the mend!--Larry takes a break from his full-time job of turing off lights in his house to sit down for this week's podcast. We hear about how Larry's alleged coffee pot of death that tries to kill him in the middle of the night. Then Larry talks about almost rear-ending a cop car while trying to read its bumper sticker.Later, a baffling trip to buy a new razor leaves Larry waxing nostalgic for his long, lost safety razor and someone in the studio inadvertently does an impression of Dr. Strangelove. Quote of the week: "To this day, I can't eat plums."
Another encore presentation as we wait for Larry to heal up! Feel free to sign Larry's virtual get well card at larrymillerpodcast.com.Larry muses hypothetical about the possible existence of a level of drinking above level five! Does it have something to do with fractals or worm holes? Or just a hole in your head? String theorists, take a powder, chumps!We also get a brief history of boy tenors and other vaudeville schtick, a safety razor update and of course, the joke of the week. Stay tuned past the end of the show for a little bonus and visit our show's Facebook page to see a picture of what made Larry react like that -- www.facebook.com/LarryMillerPodcast
An update on Larry's recouperation and an encore presentation of one of our most beloved episodes! Feel free to sign Larry's virtual get well card at larrymillerpodcast.com.Leslie Nielsen performs a trouser cough symphony for Larry's parents backstage at Letterman.Also, Larry preaches sympathy for a knife salesman who has lost his focus. Spoiler alert -- it's not pretty. Then Larry admits to stepping out on his steady supermarket. And not just to broaden his kids' horizons. All stories guaranteed to be true.This episode is sponsored in part by Rowfs. Rowfs. Rowfs. Rowfs. No, Rowfs.Quote of the week: "If I don't know where things are, I'd be a terrible idiot."
A Larry update -- as some of you have already heard our man Larry, stacker of soap, our fearless (and hairless) leader, defender of Pluto and the great updater took a spill last week. He conked the old noggin pretty good and wound up in the hospital. We're giving you a Larry Update at the top of this show. Also, feel free to sign Larry's virtual get well card at larrymillerpodcast.comWe're presenting an (ahem) encore presentation of one of Colonel Jeff Fox's personal favorite episodes, the Clumsy Coffee Cavalcade.Larry spills an impossible number of cups of coffee in an absurdly short period of time. And then almost spills some more. Then he talks about letting his kids grow up and why it's not just OK, it's the right thing to do.And we have yet another... HAMPER UPDATE! Yes, the hamper update was off last week, so hop off your pins and needles and get updated. You won't believe this one! Or you might.Quote of the week: "Don't tip like a gangster."
Larry Miller -- tool maker, stacker of wheat -- opens with a tribute to actor Warren Stevens, then segues into memories of Ricardo Montalban and The Naked Gun. Then he talks about how he's not a hero with hot food, yet he does manage to rescue some hot wings from peril.Is this episode better than pork? You make the call!Quote of the week: "I'm usually unabashed."
Pardon our internet hiccups, Larry does a remote show from the luxury of room 824 of the Sheraton Monarch hotel in Springfield, MA. This week, Larry's beloved macintosh apples get him the hairy eyeball from onlookers who think he's littering when he's actually recycling, or composting, or sharing the core with squirrels. Listen, don't YOU judge, too!Quote of the week: "We're gonna get cabinets made of meat."
Powered by pickles (delicious McClure's pickles to be exact) Larry launches another poetry-packed, joke-jammed podcast. This week, we hear about what Larry finds so disappointing about "Nude Descending A Staircase." Then he tells us how many times his car keys can be lost in 20 square feet of space, in the span of an hour. (Spolier alert: Marcel Duchamp is blamed for both.) Set your phasers on "mirthful" and tune in to this week's This Week With Larry Miller!Quote of the week: "It's not quite like leafing through a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue."
Larry lifts a line from Leno to explain getting sprayed by a cologne skunk at Macy's -- a smell tattoo. Neither silkwood showers not Irish Spring can liberate Larry from this odious odiferousness.We also hear about Larry watching "Wrath of Khan" with his family and we have a new segment -- the poetry corner! Beatniks and highbrows, rejoice! Plus, Uncle Arnie, from the "Does He Drink Coffee" story sits in the control room during the record!Quote of the week: "I have gone through an Indiana Jones warehouse full of Old Spice."
Larry needs a U.N. resolution just to keep his feet warm. Yes, Larry gets into a mental logjam trying to buy some socks. Then he wonders what something is worth if you get it at a discount. Give Larry some credit. No, literally, give him some credit. The battle of the safety razor blade continues. Then Larry pines for macintosh apples (the fruit, not the computer) and waxes nostalgic about Venus Paradise (the coloring set, not the strip joint near the airport).Later, we hear about Washington coming BACK across the Delaware, the little-known (by us) history of the Amazons, why the founding fathers were so high and how much Larry missed Mars. Hint -- completely.And remember, don't trust anyone who watches an odometer.Quote of the week: "They were giving credit cards to terrorists, but I couldn't get one."
Larry genuinely loves to be wrong. But this week, he loves to be right! That's the truth. Not a little white lie. That comes later, if we can figure out what a white lie exactly is.Three new updates this week! Now with semi-relevant sound effects! Larry goes overboard with the "Burial At Sea Update." Then we get a charge out of the "Dead Battery Update." Finally, he puts the "mental" in "Environmental Update." Curly lightbulbs, watch your back.Quote of the week: "Prisoners get better toilet paper than that."
Three kinds of people walk in LA. And courtesy of a dead car battery, Larry becomes one of them and fails to conquer time. Then Larry tells of his longing for McClure's pickles and of hinge abuses around his house during possibly his most rambunctious hamper update ever.A John Carradine AND a David Carradine reference in one episode? Plus Larry gets the website address right for 3 weeks in a row? Plus, this is our longest episode ever by 46 whole seconds! You're welcome! (This IS a half-hour show, you know.) Pinch yourself. You may be dreaming.Quote of the week: "It's just as good as the pickle story."
Larry hopes you screwed up Valentine's Day. Hear why he thinks it's a good idea to flub this holiday or at least phone it in. See you at the all-night jewelry store!On what seems to be a related matter but is not, Larry once again professes his love of being wrong. Then we hear about a drinker he met on a plane that put him to shame. This, plus a joke, two updates and about 14 topics we never got to on this week's This Week With Larry Miller!Quote of the week: "Get a load of you. Get a load of you."
Sanctimonious loudmouths and hamper slackers alike receive Larry's high dudgeon this week. Yes, we get another acrimonious (but not sanctimonious) Hamper Update and a bonus joke of the week -- all at no extra charge!Will Larry read the stage direction in the Shari's Berries ad copy again? Will he slice his face to ribbons again? Smart money is on "Oh, mmmmmaybe."How is safety razor shaving related to the movie Network? How is the Hamper Update related the movie Patton? Tune in to our longest and therefore bestest episode ever where the answer to all of these mysteries will be revealed. All questions will be answered. All fears will be allayed. Over and out from stately Miller manor.Quote of the week: "With what, a bowie knife?"
This episode contains more borscht references than you can shake a soup spoon at. Hear beefy hunk Larry Miller explain the subtle comedic difference between "Ah" and "A-ha." We get a fistful of updates, including the most acrimonious hamper update to date. Then Larry tells a story about battling with other comics with food in a diner back in the day. This episode is over. Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier!Quote of the week: "I am 'In-The-Groove Jackson' now."
Larry is smitten with Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardashian and Scarlett Johansson. Will his love be requited, even though the top of his head is missing?Larry talks about how hard modeling is. Don't hate him because he's beautiful. Then we hear about a woman who wouldn't believe that Larry was Larry and why you shouldn't bother starting a diet until after the Super Bowl.And we have a new update, the update update. Is this the update to end all updates? Or is it no update at all? (A gong rings in the distance.)That's it? You're done reading the episode description? Doesn't surprise me. You've done nothing but complain since you got here.Quote of the week: "This way, no one knows you're bald."
Larry does an unplanned 20 minute tutorial on making martinis, then apologizes for his previous apologies. This is the first time a drink recipe has included the expressions, "Show it who's boss," "Big triple to the power alley" and "Beat it around the fleet."As always, all stories are guaranteed true and stirred, not shaken. Quote of the week: "Fellas, you look lonely. Would you like to meet someone who's just like you?"
Hear how to maximize the laughs you can get from an $8 pair of underwear. Plus, we have a lotta errata. Larry offers a REALLY good apology to Ray's Really Good Beef Jerky. Larry also talks about the joy he gets from being wrong and apologizing. Plus, the joke of the week, a fecta update, plus the story of a boy and his gun. Awwwww. Quote of the week: "Quick like the bunny. Not slow like the bear."
Larry talks about spending an involuntary vacation in the snow. Plus, we hear about his search for really good beef jerky, really good pistachios and really good martini olives.Then Larry welcomes the new year, but not for too long. That's enough. And Larry teases us with the possible existence of an eightfecta, possibly to be known colloquially as the octafecta?We also have a long overdue and very serious hamper update. And a joke of the week? And a safety razor update? That's our update update. Quote of the week: "What are you gonna do on the 4th? Read the Declaration of Independence?"
Larry starts a new holiday tradition with the retelling of his favorite holiday-related story, colloquially known as "Does He Drink Coffee?" Like a visit from an old friend, it's great to hear this story re-told. Plus, we have a visit from our old friends The Joke of the Week (not-so-naughty) and the Safety Razor Update (absolutely nice). From Larry Miller, Colonel Jeff Fox and Dr. Chris Laxamana, we thank you for being here with us. It means the world to us. Let's all take the yoke off, if only for a few days. We'll see you in the new year.Quote of the week: "What about the flap steak?"
Larry muses hypothetical about the possible existence of a level of drinking above level five! Does it have something to do with fractals or worm holes? Or just a hole in your head? String theorists, take a powder, chumps!We also get a brief history of boy tenors and other vaudeville schtick, a safety razor update and of course, the joke of the week. Stay tuned past the 42:00 minute mark for a little bonus and visit our show's Facebook page to see a picture of what made Larry react like that -- www.facebook.com/LarryMillerPodcast
Larry tells tales from the start of the Million Martini March and shares signs of the end of the world. We hear about Larry and the crew's trip our for hot shaves, martinis, chicken and waffles. Then he talks about a commercial he saw while watching the Jets game that upset him to the very core of his soul. By the end of this episode, you'll realize the huge difference between "and...?" and "and by..."Also, Larry waxes nostalgic for the likes of Anita Ekberg and Anne Jeffreys. Then we hear about what you DON'T want to hear at a silent auction.That's right, honey. You're a winner.Quote of the week: "That's the and. AND I'm calling security."This Week With Larry Miller is also now available through the FREE Adam Carolla app, available from the Android marketplace and iTunes app store.
Larry tells how to hide 20 bottles of Jameson's behind a quart of milk and a sheepish grin. Then we hear about how in marriage math, one hour can equal TWO POINT EIGHT HOURS!Also, in this incredibly historic episode, we launch the Larry Miller Drinking Society Museum of Glad Tidings and the Larry Miller Drinking Society's Million Martini March! Some day, you'll tell your Grandkids where you were when you heard about this. We also get a visit from the joke of the week!Quote of the week: "There are weddings in Dublin that don't have that much Jameson's."This Week With Larry Miller is also now available through the FREE Adam Carolla app, available from the Android marketplace and iTunes app store.
Larry Miller talks about the death and burial of a loyal shirt and the socks that loved it. And admits to being a trekkie.Yes, Larry powers through a cold to deliver another slam-bang-pow (cough) show. After weeks of preaching the wonders of the spit-bucket, Larry talks about the one time he kept eating food on a set. Yes, on this episode, we hear about Larry eating turkey with William Shatner for seven hours. And so much more.Until next week, live Larry and prosper.Quote of the week: "I will admit the hula-dancing, green-skinned woman is still in my mind."
Larry talks about his trip to Dallas, continuing his tradition of plugging shows once they are already past. Then Larry visits "Camp Shakeitoff," a lovely place where we won't be talking about feelings and there will be no therapists on speed dial.Also, we hear about possums and their habit of playing, well, you know, possum. Plus, two new segments! And of course, that means two new wacky sound effects.As always, all stories are guaranteed true, Pluto is a planet and don't rat to Larry's wife, you. Quote of the week: "Thank God it was a paperback."This Week With Larry Miller is also now available through the FREE Adam Carolla app, available from the Android marketplace and iTunes app store.
Larry takes a break from his full-time job of turing off lights in his house to sit down for this week's podcast. We hear about how Larry's alleged coffee pot of death that tries to kill him in the middle of the night. Then Larry talks about almost rear-ending a cop car while trying to read its bumper sticker.Later, a baffling trip to buy a new razor leaves Larry waxing nostalgic for his long, lost safety razor and someone in the studio inadvertently does an impression of Dr. Strangelove. This Week With Larry Miller is also now available through the FREE Adam Carolla app, available from the Android marketplace and iTunes app store. Quote of the week: "To this day, I can't eat plums."
Spit buckets and broken legs are afoot in this week's episode as Larry talks about some of his favorite show business superstitions and traditions. Who has better taste in Clairol Girls, Larry or his son? YOU make the call! The good news is that Dr. Laxamana has returned to work, more gruntled than ever! Remember, all stories guaranteed true and Homer is Homer! And this week's guest star is Larry Miller.This show is also now available through the FREE Adam Carolla app, available from the Android marketplace and iTunes app store. Quote of the week: "It was the Earl of Oxford who worked in the box factory."
Larry takes apart his trademark sign off -- just a little bit. After getting grouchy with his family on the way to Fab Dogs, he winds up laughing his way into Ralphs. Or should we say, "Rowfs. Rowfs. Rowfs. Rowfs."Larry then tells a very funny joke. Plus we get a hamper update, a fivefecta update AND a leg lamp all in one episode! Don't bother pinching yourself. You're not dreaming. Also on this week's This Week, our engineeer, Dr. Chris Laxamana, LMDS is MIA and presumed snoggered.All stories guaranteed true or double your money back!Quote of the week: "Gee, I hope nothing happened to him."