10 Minutes to Save Your Marriage: Recent Episodes
10 Minutes to Save Your Marriage
A comedy writer (Breakwell) and a REAL psychologist (Olivas) tackle relationship questions and concerns in a funny yet meaningful way -- and they do it all in 10 minutes! Submit YOUR questions to JamesBreakwell@ExplodingUnicorn.com
We've got a doozy this week--and why not?! We're back after a long layoff. Thanks to an alert listener who sent in a great question, we're back in business! Be sure to send your questions so we can get back 100% on track and serve our fine audience.
This week, a listener writes in to ask about the coming out process for members of the LGBTQ community. The writer has concerns because of his family and their background, so Dr Steve and James handle the sensitive topic with a directness that honors the different components in the writer's situation. As per usual, listen in and see if you agree!
This week, a fan of Dr. Steve's writes in to say he has a friend who recently made an ill-advised--major--purchase. Listen in as the entire show unravels when James and Dr Steve get into it about the answer, the question, and the entire premise of the episode!
The title tells the tale--a listener writes in to ask how to initiate boundaries with a mother who seems to require constant attention. Dr Steve takes a rare role as "bad cop" this week, as he details a plan that includes (not surprisingly) therapy for the letter-writer. James doesn't use a softer touch necessarily but tries to slide into the unfamiliar "good cop" role. An interesting episode to be sure!
A listener writes an and asks a provocative question about parent/child boundaries. As per usual, James and Dr. Steve take different approaches to recommending an answer--but all in all, they are both in agreement. See what YOU think...
A serious episode this week--despite the letter-writer wanting a light-hearted answer. Basically, a listener wrote in and asked advice from James and Dr. Stev regarding a family member who may need to be institutionalized. Try as they might, the co-hosts could not make light of a serious situation. Listen in as the boys put on their "good advice" cas and reply to the question.
A listener writes in with a work-related question. Her "work bestie" has stolen credit for her ideas for some time now--and she wants to know what to do about it! Listen in as James (who is familiar with corporate culture) and Steve (who has only had a real job for the past two months) offer strikingly similar advice...
After what feels like an eternity, James and Dr. Steve are back in the saddle and answering listener questions. This week, we are grateful to get a softball from a listener who is concerned about her relationship choices. You'll rarely hear the two co-hosts agree with each other...but you will this time!
A listener writes in and asks for our advice. It seems her husband has some extraordinary spending habits that have driven the family into debt. The wife has been working hard to keep them afloat, but feels her husband will not listen to her pleas for a better long-term plan. James and Dr. Steve give their opinions--see if you agree with our advice!
This week, a listener writes in because he is concerned about his wife, who does not seem to want to leave their new baby. He wonders about her desire to return to work and expresses some confusion about her work ethic. James and Dr. Steve mash up a technically flawed episode (more phone demons, I'm afraid), but cobble together some basic nuggets of wisdom!
This week, a new business traveler writes in to ask about the guilt she feels when she steals away on a business trip and explores the town. James and Dr. Steve both agree she should not feel guilty, but differ in the advice they give to help her overcome those feelings.
A listener writes in and asks for suggestions on how to tell the boss NO...without coming across as rude. James and Dr Steve offer advice, but then descend into a conversation about break-ups--and not accepting a partner's break-up. Listen in to see how this pertains to the two of them--it will make you laugh!
This week, James stumbled upon a concept that caught his attention--so he brought it to the show. Are separate vacations for couples normal and healthy, or abnormal and/or potentially a warning sign? He and Doctor Steve discuss...but either way you think, this is a topic that could generate some controversy!
James comes up with the question this week, as he saw something online and wanted Dr. Steve's take on it. Should we "break up" with friends we no longer wish to keep? Both hosts seem to agree on the answer, but the stories told add a funny footnote to this issue.
A listener writes in and asks about managing the guilt she feels over quitting a job she loves. Spoiler alerts: (1) She is leaving for a LOT more money, and (2) James takes a far more hardcore approach than Dr Steve. Listen in and think about the advice YOU might give to this person...
A listener writes in to talk about a deal-breaker issue between she and her boyfriend: She would like to have a baby, and he does not want to. Specifically, she asked how to broach the topic with him--but James and Dr. Steve take an entirely different approach. Listen in and see if you agree with the hosts (who seem to agree with each other!).
A listener writes in with baby fever--but mentions some extenuating circumstances that will make the conversation with her boyfriend difficult. James and Dr. Steve layout their advice--and get a bit spicy with each other in the process!
This week, James and Dr. Steve field a question about a worker who feels anxiety at work due to Imposter Syndrome. Dr. Steve analyzes the situation and explains the concept of I.S. James takes his usual pragmatic approach--cutting through Steve's psychobabble and getting to the root of the issue.
A listener writes in with a question related to his current polyamorous relationship. This is an arrangement not many folks have experience with--but that doesn't stop James and Dr. Steve from weighing in and offering answers to his question!
After a week of technical difficulties, James and Dr Steve are back in the saddle! This week's question is a retelling of the question that got nuked by the software gods last week: a woman wonders if her marriage is possible to salvage. The cohosts give their opinions...see what YOU think!
A problem has arisen for one listener--she wants to know how to live her life to the fullest when it seems she is burdened with being a caretaker. James and Dr. Steve agree about the proper advice on the surface--but listen to see if their agreement is really all that it seems!
Just as the title line implies, this week's letter writer asks about how to handle a situation whereby her employee literally smells bad. Dr Steve recounts a couple stories where he has had to deal with this exact issue, and James chimes in with some practical wisdom. Listen in and compare our answers with what YOU might do!
This week, a listener writes in and asks about how to handle a colleague who never admits to being wrong--even to the point that it affects the work of those around them. James and Dr. Steve weigh in, leading to a rare admission by James that Steve has made some good points...
The title says it all -- and as a bit of irony, Dr. Steve has to struggle with his own sanity while recording this episode (a storm hits right as he's speaking!). James gives his two cents to the listener, which always seems to contradict Steve...
A great listener question this week--she asks about how she knows if she is in love? What is love? How do we define love? And pragmatically, what to do with a relationship that seems to beg these questions. James and Dr. Steve tackle the question while Steve dodges lightning strikes under a thunderstorm on his ranch. A fun, informative episode!
A listener writes in and asks for advice--because he has trouble making small talk when he first meets someone. James and Dr. Steve dive right in, offering step-by-step practical advice. A first for the show? Perhaps...
James himself has a question this week--because he's having an issue with his neighbor. Hear what the problem is and how he is choosing to handle it (DESPITE Steve's advice)!
Pretty straight forward question this week--a listener writes in to say that she is in a bad marriage and that her daughter has been asking if they are getting divorced. The listener mentions what she has told her daughter and is asking for advice and feedback. A tough one for sure, no easy answers. James and Dr. Steve do their best to lend some guidance in under ten minutes!
A very common question these days--should I stay, or should I go? In this case, it's about the letter writer's job. She wonders if she should leave for more money or stay where she is comfortable. James and Dr. Steve seem to agree--although it never quite feels that way!
Pretty straight-forward question this week--but an interesting one to dive into! A listener wrote in about asking a friend if the friend thinks a girl (that the letter writer met online) is attractive. An awkward question, or a developmentally appropriate one? You decide!
Forgot to post this one last week--sorry!!! The title says it all! A woman is in a relationship...but has a secret crush! What should she do? James and Dr. Steve have some advice to give.
A listener writes in with a question about a work relationship. They feel it is untenable, but the cohosts have other ideas...
The title says it all! A listener writes in and asks for our advice on how to handle a disrespectful coworker. James and Dr. Steve offer different opinions--which should come as no surprise to you! Be sure to send your questions in to James--we have been out of questions for nearly a month!
A listener writes in and asks what she can do to remain friends with a guy pal who has started a new romance, James ad Dr. Steve seem to agree as to the appropriate advice--which can't be good for anyone!
A listener writes in and asks how she might politely tell her (healthy) parents that she does not want them to move in with her. Jaems and Dr. Steve play good cop bad cop, but both arrive at the same advice. See how you compare to the co-hosts!
A listener writes in and asks how she and her partner can keep the fire burning. They have been together for awhile, and she fears settling into a less exciting pattern of interacting. James and Dr. Steve give their take on the situation--and Steve remembers giving an entire seminar on the topic.
A letter writer sends a follow-up to a question about an obnoxious family member. We like to hear success stories!
The title doesn't do this episode justice. There is a lot going on in the letter writer's family, as she describes one incident that has led to an escalation in discord. Listen in and think about the advice YOU would give--a troubled situation, to be sure.
Just as the title implies, a listener writes in to ask about her husband. She is concerned because of some of the things he believes. James and Dr. Steve weigh in, offering their points of view as well as potential solutions. Listen in and see if you agree!
A listener writes in to ask our advice on how to handle a situation with her husband. She and he are on different ends of the political spectrum, and she feels put down by him in front of their child. James and Dr. Steve weigh in on this sensitive topic.
James cheats on his beloved Dr. Steve this week--by recording an episode with a real-life divorce lawyer. Hear about the process and the price paid by couples who engage in divorce...from a person who has a front row seat to the best and worst examples of divorce.
A listener writes in and asks a philosophical question: Is THIS supposed to be the happiest time in my life? She then goes on to ask James and Dr Steve about the happiest times in their lives. You may be surprised by their answers!
James and Dr. Steve receive a question from a listener this week--a question that rings familiar to both co-hosts. As they break down the problem and offer solutions, they are struck by how personally this question affects each of them! Fortunately, they both arrive at roughly the same conclusion...
A listener writes in and lays out her current life situation. At the end of the thought, she asks our opinion about whether or not she and her husband should have a third child--thereby potentially disrupting their idyllic life. James and Dr. Steve are no strangers to offering advice, and we do so. Oddly, both co-hosts seem to be in agreement...
A listener writes in because she is concerned about the wife of a high school friend. It seems the marriage has been having some issues and now the writer may know too much! She asks James and Dr. Steve for advice - which we gladly give! See if you agree...and let us know what YOU think!
No question this week--which gives the hosts time to reflect upon the past three years of listener involvement. They go over their favorites, and argue a little over which are the best. The show must go on--so we need your emails! JamesBreakwell@ExplodingUnicorn.com
There were no listener questions this week, so James fired one off to Dr Steve: How do couples manage stress while moving? The question is particularly salient to Dr Steve, who is preparing to sell his house and move. Always an instigator, James stirs the pot...
A listener writes in, concerned that she may be putting people off with some of her social skills. She lists the issues she has been having, and then asks for advice, James and Dr. Steve go through the practical advice they normally give, but then Dr. Steve offers some solutions from his world of psychology. A step-by-step episode if we've ever had one, with some ideas EVERYONE can use starting today!
A listener writes in to give the audience an update on her situation. She write several months ago and asked about a relationship that was devoid of sexual intimacy. In her update, she asks another question: Is it possible that traditional relationships aren;t my thing? James and Dr. Steve take a crack at answering--although their replies seem to follow very different courses...
A listener writes in with a straight-forward question: should I get an emotional animal (given her situation)? James and Dr. Steve take in her info and give a straight-forward reply. See if you agree!
A listener writes in to ask about a former boss--who seems to be bad-mouthing her, even long after she has left the company. James and Dr. Steve give their reactions to the scenario, as well as offer their advice. Listen along and think about what YOU would do in that situation...
James and Dr. Steve differ SHARPLY this week! A listener asks if she should quit her WFH job because it is moving to in-person...weigh in and choose a side, listeners!
A listener writes in to ask about a guy she has recently begun to date. All was going along well...but then he stopped wanting to have sex. She is puzzled--but also curious what we would advise her to do. James and Dr. Steve dive in as always, and seem to have very different points of view on the listener's options!
The title says it all--a pregnant wife writes in and asks what James and Dr. Steve thinks about her husband's decision to change jobs (read: health insurance) as she approaches her delivery date. The co-hosts try to hone in on the real issue and give advice like only they can! Another great question from YOU the listeners!
A listener writes in and asks for our advice regarding a gal who works at his college. He's interested in her but doesn't know if she's into him. James and Dr. Steve go back to school and give their best shot at good advice.
A listener writes in with a problem that James and Dr. Steve felt needed immediate attention: her husband eats Oreos the wrong way. Listen in and think about how YOU would counsel (perhaps console?) a poor wife whose entire foundation of trust has been shaken.
James and Dr. Steve have received feedback from a country where this show is #2 in the category of "medical podcasts." A listener from Kenya writes in to provide some feedback on an episode from a month or two ago. Listen in and learn about how things are done outside of North America!
After a week long break, the boys are back in town! Listen in as they get back in tje saddle and dole out advice in their own "special" way!
A listener writes in to ask about the relationship she has with her young daughter. Her husband feels she babies the child, which concerns her. Listen and decide for yourself--you'll certainly hear what James and Dr. Steve had to say!
A listener writes in and explains that he and his wife have a pragmatic/scheduling issue--she suffers insomnia, and doesn't like when his alarm wakes her up in the morning. James and Dr. Steve dive right in, discussing insomnia as a medical condition, and offering practical advice.
A listener writes in and asks about boundaries between herself and her parents. Specifically, her parents would like to make her a part of their retirement plan. James and Dr. Steve dive in and discuss appropriate boundaries within a family, and how to enforce them in the face of parental resistance. A tricky topic, but listen and see what YOU would do!
The title says it all! A listener writes in because she is having difficulty with her team at work. James and Dr. Steve get to break down a work place issue, and get a rare chance to discuss their ideas on enhancing motivation and productivity. Whether at home or at work, these are concepts that apply to all of life!
A listener writes in to ask for ideas to set and maintain appropriate boundaries with her mother, She has recently moved back home, and is tired of feeling like her mother tries to control her life. James and Dr. Steve have some thoughts--as I am sure you will too!
A listener writes in and asks about his wife--who seems to be struggling right now. Kids, job, home life...she feels under water. Dr. Steve takes the lead, but James jumps in with great wisdom and advice. Listen to the hosts at their best!
A listener writes in to say that her husband seems ambivalent about having children. She wonders when is the "right time" to have kids, and how to tell when he is really ready. In a rare alignment of the cosmos, James and Dr. Steve actually agree on this one...
Another follow-up from a listener! A woman who wrote recently to ask about her husband who (unnecessarily) gives expensive gifts says she has an update -- and that he DID NOT change! James and Dr. Steve chew on that one for a bit, tossing out potential meanings and long term possibilities. See if YOU guessed this one correctly!
A woman writes in to say she has recently moved, and does not yet feel safe in her new apartment. She wants a big dog for security, and asks if this is a good idea--and when she might start to feel more settled in her new dwelling.
A listener writes in to ask how to handle a common problem in their family: when her father-in-law comes to visit, he doesn't "take the hint" and leave when it's time for everyone to go to bed. She and her husband have struggled with knowing how to handle the situation gracefully. James and Dr. Steve have some ideas--what do YOU think?
A listener follows up to say we gave good advice in the past--so presents another family issue: how to contain (or put up with?) a brother who has a habit of saying what's on his mind...unfiltered. James and Dr. Steve dive into this new question, and give advice like only they can!
A listener writes in to say she is upset about how her husband parents. She describes both hers and his styles, and asks what we think. James and Dr. Steve are never ones to sit silently, so listen in as we talk about our OWN styles while we answer her question!
A wife writes in to say her husband continues to give expensive gifts, despite her telling him not to--both to save money AND because it makes her feel obligated to respond in kind. Listen in as James and Dr. Steve disagree wholeheartedly about the meaning and the recommended course of action!
Years ago, a wife moved to another country to be with her husband. Now she's struggling with guilt over wanting him to move back to her home. James and Dr. Steve break it down and give some advice. What would YOU say?
We got mail! Feedback from a previous episode filters into the TMTSYM Mailbag--and it's good news! Listen in and marvel at how James and Dr. Steve CAN give good advice, and how the letter-writer's relationship has been made better.
After one of the worst cold-opens in podcast history, James and Dr. Steve salvage the episode with a good question and a controversial answer
A listener is disappointed that her relationship with a guy abroad lost its pizzazz once they moved in together. James and Dr. Steve do their best to break down the dynamics of relationships that develop in a geographically diverse way.
A listener's girlfriend wants to meet an ex to finalize a few things... and the listener has concerns about her intentions. James and Dr. Steve dig in and explore possibilities as well as give advice--although both co-hosts come from very different perspectives! See who you agree with...
A listener writes in to say that she and her boyfriend had a solid relationship--while they were long distance. Once they moved in together, things deadened in the bedroom, and there came some friction. Listen to the advice James and Dr. Steve give, and see what YOU would tell a friend with the same concerns...
James and Dr. Steve look back at some of the highs and lows of 120+ episodes--all in an effort to give you the best relationship advice possible!
What to do when you find yourself in a toxic workplace scenario? Listen in and see if you agree...
The title says it all -- a listener is curious about the etiquette of remaining in touch with her brother's ex-wife. James and Dr. Steve had a pretty clear idea of how to answer this one...
A listener writes in and wonders if his feelings for an ex will hamper his involvement with a new woman he is dating. A common problem, but troubling nonetheless. Listen in and see if you agree with James and Dr. Steve as we analyze and advise.
A frustrated listener writes in to ask about her family situation. She is in her 30s, and supporting her parents. She is trying to move out and live on her own, but wants to know how to create a life for herself without ruining life for her parents. A tricky situation -- see if YOUR thoughts match James and Dr. Steve!
James and Dr. Steve get a question about a writer's mother -- and the drama that seems to follow her everywhere. The two co-hosts disagree somewhat on their advice, but both have valid points, and YOU can decide with who's you most agree!
A listener writes in and asks about a podcast they listen to -- and the co-hosts can't seem to get along (*cue shocking music)!?! James and Dr. Steve dive in, as we go META this week!
A listener writes in, concerned because he is in a "perfect" relationship--but does not feel any 'zing' toward his girlfriend. Should he stay, or should he break it off? James and Dr. Steve break it down and offer some advice.
A listener writes in out of frustration -- she has an elderly parent who refuses to take her advice. The writer feels she is just trying to make life better for the parent, but is met with staunch resistance when she makes suggestions. James and Dr. Steve offer some advice and their takes on the aging process. An episode everyone needs to listen to!
Straight forward question this week - a wife writes in and talks about feeling guilty for putting her needs ahead of others', so constantly prioritizes herself last. She mentions some family issues brewing between she and her husband (and kids, to some extent) that definitely play a part in this dynamic. Listen in as James and Dr. Steve respond to her email -- then see if you agree with their advice!
A worried listener writes in and asks about her husband--who doesn't seem excited about their upcoming baby. She's pregnant with her first, but he has three from a previous relationship. What would you tell her? James and Dr. Steve give their thoughts... do yours match?
Ever heard of a "situationship"? Dr. Steve hadn't--but a listener question caused James to look up the actual definition, at which time both hosts could dole out some advice to the listener who asked how to get over the ending of one.
A listener writes in and asks about her gifted child. She wonders if she should homeschool or send her child to their regular classroom school. James and Dr. Steve discuss their views on pros and cons.
Common relationship issue-- one partner is cleaner and more organized than the other. Leads to resentment on both sides. What can they do? Get some answers here...
We bought a dog together before we broke up. NOw the dog is dying; should I tell my ex?
When thinking about getting back into the dating scene, how do you know if you're completely over an ex, and when is the right time to date again?
James began recording after a meltdown in the Breakwell household -- so fresh on his mind is the burning question about sibling conflict and/or rivalry: Is it healthy? Dr. Steve helps break down the issue, and then both discuss their experiences growing up, contrasting with their points of view as parents. A strong episode, relevant to anyone with more than one kiddo!
All kids lie as they test their ability to control the world around them... but which lies are okay to let slide, and which should be addressed? Should ALL lies be addressed? Are all lies bad? James and Dr. Steve peel the onion a bit as they break down lying in children and what parents should do in response.
James couldn't get to a listener question this week (don't ask), so he and Dr. Steve discuss how to survive the Shelter in Place. The hosts provide some good tips and ensuing discussion, as they want their listeners to stick around and continue to enjoy life!
Good question this week - a mother writes in and asks about if her two young boys (sons/brothers) should share a bedroom. One son has some personality variables which may make it difficult, but overall it seems mom and dad have a difference of opinion about how to proceed. James and Dr. Steve go both pragmatic and emotion-based in their advice, but give a concerned mother some direction.
A listener writes in and asks if there is anything she can do to ease the couples' current issue: her husband is going to go away to college, for at least one year. James and Dr. Steve break down the problem, and offer different pieces of advice -- see if you agree, as we guide this couple into a tough transition.
A listener writes in with a problem we haven't talked about yet on this show: He works in a special needs facility, and during the COVID furlough, he is getting harrassed via phone by one of the residents. He asks for advice, as his supervisor did not seem to provide any guidance. James and Dr. Steve approach from different directions on this one, but give some good pointers.
Our 100th episode!!! And not a moment too soon... The question this week is quite topical, as the hosts discuss marital quarantine -- how to keep things safe, sane, and stable during SO much time together. Listen, laugh, and learn and a psychologist and a comedy writer chat about this important topic.
A listener writes in amidst the coronavirus quarantine, and asks how to keep from being around her parents so much. She's not currently living with them, but is beginning to feel their visits take a toll on her. James and Dr. Steve give advice that seems practical, and also helps spare the feelings of all involved.
A listener writes in with a bit of an unorthodox question for the show: She's about to play Dungeons & Dragons with her children, and wants to know how to be the best Dungeon Master she can! Clearly up James' alley, he takes point on this reply, but Dr. Steve discusses fostering imagination and creativity through the art of story-telling.
A listener writes in to say that she had a difficult decision to make -- and it is affecting her marriage. She was the boss to a good friend of her husband, and had to fire the friend. Now she doesn't know how to proceed, as it has created stress in their private life. James and Dr. Stev (of course!) have thoughts -- listen and see if ours match YOURS!
A listener writes in because he feels uncomfortable about an aspect of his new girlfriend: her name! Exactly the same as an ex of his, and he's wondering if there is a way to make this easier in his mind. James and Dr. Steve do what they do best: give some practical advice, despite each other!
A young listener writes in for some advice: He was politely rejected by a girl when he asked her to prom -- but wants to pursue a possible romantic relationship with her in the future. James and Dr. Steve weigh in... and seem to be on the same page with this one...
A listener writes in and asks a basic question: How do I go about finding a GOOD therapist? And while this is basic on the surface, the process can be tricky... and frustrating. James and Dr. Steve give some pointers, and try to direct ALL listeners in the right direction, should their situation ever call for a good therapist.
A male listener writes in and reports that his wife waits a full 20 seconds before responding to his statements or questions. He asks what we think about it, and we (of course) rise to the challenge! See if you agree with us, and what YOU would tell this listener.
A listener writes in this week, and mentions she is struggling with a decision to move out of the area her husband grew up in -- because she keeps running into ex-girlfriends of his... There is a complicating factor -- he loves it there! Listen along as James and Dr. Steve break down the problem, and offer some practical advice!
A frustrated listener writes in and asks for advice regarding the sexual part of his marriage. It seems he and his wife have been trying for years to get pregnant, up to and including rounds of IVF. Well, his wife is now grieving, and the sexual side of the relationship has suffered greatly. Steve gives practical advice, and James plays devil's advocate, as we try to help this couple move forward and remain satisfied in the marriage.
A listener writes in because she and her husband are struggling with the decision to have him quit his job and stay home with the kids. She is worried about his mental health after undergoing such a change... and James & Dr. Steve take very different approaches to responding! See who you agree with, as parenting sometimes requires difficult life decisions!
Our question this week comes from a listener who is concerned that her fiancé may be on the Autism Spectrum. James and Dr. Steve look at aspects of the diagnosis, and talk through the concerns of the listener -- surprisingly, we arrive at roughly the same conclusion, and offer the same advice!
A frustrated listener writes in and asks about a feud brewing between he and his wife: They have different opinions about the appropriateness of certain television programs for their children. There is no single answer, but James and Dr. Steve give honest responses to a problem that is present in many modern families.
A listener writes in, and in painful detail, discussed the death of their family pet -- and their subsequent grieving process. Dr. Steve and James talk about their own experiences, and offer condolences & some advice to move through the grief.
A listener writes in and says his wife is no longer interested in living life according to the particulars by which he lives his life. He feels he has never lied to her, and that she is now trying to change the rules after they've been together for awhile. What should he do? James and Dr. Steve weigh in -- a complicated issue, see if you agree with what they said!
A young listener writes in and asks about how he may better deal with the other duo in a polyamorous triad. It feels like he's the odd person out, and is experiencing jealousy. James and Dr. Steve try to bridge the gap between conventional and non-conventional relationships, and offer advice that is practical and useful.
We get a question this week that draws some "tough love" advice from both James and Dr. Steve. A listener writes in to ask how to curb his habit of being too generous with gifts to girlfriends and casual friends -- this has been (it seems) scaring people away. Listen in and see if you agree with the co-hosts as they try to swiftly help this young man!
Family game night turns into a nightmare when a grown man throws a fit over losing children's games. His wife doesn't know what to do. Is there any way to fix his attitude?
A listener writes in to vent - his good friend (a female) has a new boyfriend, and is now growing more distant in their friendship... despite all he feels he continues to do for her. He asks what he can do, and James & Dr. Steve unite over their rather specific advice!
A 13yo listener writes in and asks about a situation that is rather upsetting - their best friend moved 30 minutes away, and (of course) neither can drive. What can/should they do? James takes the lead in this episode, and offers sage wisdom for the youngster -- another practical, straightforward solution!
A wife writes in and says that her husband gets "grabby" -- almost to an extreme. She adds that this is a turn-off for her, and that she is feeling more resentful as their marriage progresses because he does nothing to curb his behavior (despite her explaining how it affects her). James and Dr. Steve offer practical advice, and discuss possible reasons for his behavior.
A husband writes in and asks for advice, as his wife announced that she is no longer interested in having sex with him. James and Dr. Steve tackle the question from different viewpoints, as James plays the heavy this week!
A listener writes in and asks for advice on how to best deal with a member of her work group who "steamrolls" group members, monopolizes the group time, and forces her opinion onto others. James and Dr. Steve jump right in and hoist THEIR opinions into the ring!
A listener writes in for advice on how to handle her boss - who seems to micromanage the employees, and seems to be all critical, never supportive. James and Dr. Steve dig in, look at the situation from different perspectives, and give some sensible advice!
A personal episode for both co-hosts, as James and R. Steve answer a question about revealing seriousness/exclusivity in a new relationship -- but then share the story of how each of them FIRST said "I love you" to their respective spouses. Get to know these two like never before!
We don't have a listener question this week, so James comments on something he read online -- which fuels an entire episode between he and Dr. Steve. Is it going too far to break up with someone over an issue as simple as a dog?
A listener writes in with a question about her celebrity crush - she understands social boundaries, but wants to know what we think about her creating a scenario where she meets the object of her affection. Is it a good idea? James and Dr. Steve have some pretty straightforward advice to give!
This week - another Breakwell-generated question: What are the three most common battlegrounds for couples to argue about? Dr. Steve gives it some thought, and comes up with a pretty solid list. Listen in and see if YOUR relationship issues match these common ones!
James decided to break protocol some, and ask Dr. Steve a question on his own: What are three things every couple SHOULD do in a relationship? Rather than framing in the negative, let's look at positive steps toward marital and relationship harmony!
A listener writes in and asks how to cope with a situation that seems bad, but out of their control. He currently live in Hong Kong, and his family is divided with the political strife occurring there. James and Dr. Steve approach the question not from a political standpoint, but with strategies to manage stress when "accepting the things you cannot control" plays such a big role.
We've got a special guest this week... Editor at Time Magazine, and marriage expert, Belinda Luscombe joins the show to add a woman's perspective! And a good week, too -- because a listener writes in to say she has gained a lot of weight since having children, and is concerned because she doesn't care. James, Dr. Steve, and Belinda wrestle with the question and the answer - you don't want to miss this one!
A listener in India writes in to say his girlfriend's parents -- who follow traditional Indian customs -- seem to be asking that he make a commitment to their daughter before he is completely comfortable doing so. Of course, James and Dr. Steve render advice -- but see if YOU agree with us!
A listener writes in an says she has been married for ten years, but is no longer attracted to her husband. They have a child together, and she wonders what this means, or if anything can/should be done. James and Dr. Steve offer some of their sage wisdom, in hopes some changes can be made for the better!
A listener writes in an reports that she is divorced from her ex, but now is struggling with feelings of attraction toward him again. Her dilemma is whether or not to tell him she may want to revisit some of the romance they shared. James and Dr. Steve seem in compete agreement when it comes to advising her on the best course of action!
A youngster writes in, showing that we have fans of all ages out there! Too, they ask about custody -- and how to navigate a situation where their parents are divorced with joint custody, but the letter writer does not like going to dad's house on his days. A tough situation for any child to find themselves, but James and Dr. Steve give out some advice that may help!
A listener writes in and asks for advice: Her friend is in a bad relationship, and has been growing very frustrating to deal with. The writer wants to know how she can give advice, and also spare herself from feeling drained every time they interact. James and Dr. Steve give their thoughts -- listen and see if you agree!
A listener writes in and asks about the aftermath of a semi-serious relationship. She and her ex-boyfriend have split up, and she is curious as to whether she should remain friends with him moving forward. James and Dr. Steve seem to be agreeing with each other a lot recently, and this week is no exception -- see if YOU agree with their recommendations, too!
A young listener writes in because she is at a crossroad, and is seeking our advice: Should she move to Toronto (a place she's always wanted to live), thereby possibly changing her career path, or remain with her current company and continue her path. James and Dr. Steve give our sage wisdom -- see if you agree with what we told her!
A listener writes in because she's concerned about her 30yo husband who appears to be depressed. They have one child and another on the way, and she'd like some guidance. James and Dr. Steve discuss this potentially serious issue and offer suggestions for she and her hubby.
Another interesting listener question: He and his wife were nice enough to let his in-laws move in with them (temporarily), but they are not doing anything to help around the house. He'd like ideas for handling this, as his frustration is growing -- James and Dr. Steve give clear, practical ideas.
Real simple this week: A listener writes in with an impasse -- he and his wife differ on the number of kids they want. She wants three, he wants two … what is a couple to do to resolve this foundational difference? James and Dr. Steve weigh in; listen, and see if you agree with their final answer!
A listener writes in with a scenario and a simple question: Am I asexual? James and Dr. Steve break down her information, and give their opinions on an element of a very hot topic these days: sexual identity. Listen along and see where YOU fit in!
James asks about fighting -- more specifically, what mistakes couples are most apt to make? Dr. Steve comes through with the answer … which both pinpoints common problems, and also provides solutions! Learn about handling conflict this week on TMTSYM!
James asks another doozie - what should people look out for when meeting someone for the first time? Maybe as the relationship progresses? Dr. Steve fires off the cuff and details three red flags everyone should be VERY wary to see...
Husband wants to live apart for awhile - wife wondering if this spells the end of the relationship. Kids are involved, one with special needs... a huge source of stress for all parties involved. James and Dr. Steve weigh in, and talk about marriages in trouble, and what different signals may mean.
In lieu of a listener question this week, James asks Dr. Steve about the fastest and surest way to END a relationship. The comedy writer and the psychologist discuss, and hi-light some issues to pay attention to -- to avoid problems down the road.
A listener writes in and scolds herself a bit for all the nagging she does at home -- but also expresses a desire to change. James and Dr. Steve look at "nagging", and arrive at some techniques that can help the listener make some changes both personally, and within her relationship.
A listener muses about how, despite trying to choose a current GF who does not have the negative qualities of his ex, he is starting to see certain mannerisms that make him fear he has chosen as part of a pattern. James and Dr. Steve provide their analysis of hw relationships are formed, and how we may be "primed" to see certain issues in the people we love.
A listener writes in to say they have stopped their medication, and are now returning to a state of anxiety, depression, and some light paranoia. The listener asked if they are "crazy", bur James and Dr. Steve take a more clinical look at not only this case, but discuss a bit about medication, and some of the pros and cons.
A bit different of a focus this week: A listener doesn't want advice per se, she wants us to publicly disabuse her boyfriend of HIS idea that they should eventually have 11 (ELEVEN) kids!!! James and Dr. Steve are not shy about honoring a listener commitment, so they gear up and take it head on!
She's in China... he's in Canada... they met by chance -- do they HAVE a chance??? She writes in to ask if it would be prudent to pursue this unlikely pairing as a real relationship, and James & Dr. Steve give their answer! See if you agree with us on this vexing new-world relationship quandary!
A listener writes in and asks for advice on how to get over an incident she went through with her boyfriend of several years -- he cheated on her when they were pretty young, but the emotional residue still bothers her. James and Dr. Steve dig into the question, and offer some solutions.
A listener is confused by some of the mixed messages she's getting from her boyfriend... So she does what ANYONE would do: She writes to James and Dr. Steve! The two deconstruct the relationship and offer ideas and advice to answer her concerns. Listen along, and see what YOU think! Agree or disagree with the hosts...?
Another great question - a listener writes that her aging father has recently moved into their home, and that he will not respect boundaries. Entering their area in the house, walking into their bedroom, generally not adhering to the agreement they struck when he first joined them. James and Dr. Steve take a shot at analysis, and solutions to the problem.
Another tough relationship issue this week... a listener begins law school with the support (and encouragement) of her husband -- who may now be having an affair and wants a divorce. She is confused and angry, and asks our advice. James and Dr. Steve handle it like the pros they are!
A listener writes in with a serious marriage problem: he is an atheist, and his wife has recently converted to become a Born Again Christian. He is concerned about the impact this conversion may have on their marriage, and asks James and Dr. Steve to weigh in.
Simply put: A guy (friend) and she struck up a deal to be friends with benefits -- but then he started not wanting the benefits! Now she's confused as to what to do next, and how to take this! James and Dr. Steve leave no stone unturned!
A serious question this week... A listener has been in what she describes as a horrible marriage -- and just when she was ready to walk out, he turns it around and behaves as she wishes he would have all along. They have a child... should she stay or should she go? She asks for advice, and James & Dr. Steve give her the lowdown.
A listener writes in because she is concerned that her long-time boyfriend has a history of not getting a good job, or of making any movement toward marriage and "adulthood". James and Dr. Steve give their advice, and discuss some the rash of arrested development that seems to be a growing concern nation-wide.
Even family members can have radically opposed beliefs and opinions -- and in this new world of managed identities and social media, how do we handle these conflicts? Grace and dignity may have to wait... hear what James and Dr. Steve have to say!
Is it okay to fantasize about another person when you're married? A listener writes in and asks just that, as she has been thinking about a coworker. James and Dr. Steve put things into perspective, and give her some practical wisdom!
An 18yo listener writes in to say his/her brother treats him/her in a verbally and emotionally abusive manner, and that their parents are unwilling to step in and curb his behavior. Unsure of what to do next, advice is sought -- and granted. James and Dr. Steve break down the situation and give solutions in their professional, but affable style.
James and Dr. Steve get a question from a 15yo listener who laments saying something "weird" to a girl he likes -- and she has not been warm toward him ever since. Listen in as the pros empathize with the lad, but give him some tough advice to swallow.
Yup -- you heard that correctly: A listener asks for advice on what to do about her husband, who controls his gas around other people, but will not stop himself from farting around her (despite repeated requests for him to not do that). James and Dr. Steve give that advice, as they take every listener question seriously!
A listener writes in and asks about maintaining friendships more effectively. Too, he says he has been "lonely by choice" for much of his life, and needs to develop better relationship skills. James and Dr. Steve take different approaches to responding, as they wind him around to solutions.
A listener feels a good vibe with a woman who works at his grocery store - but needs advice on the best way to proceed from here. Up to the challenge are two guys who haven't dated since Teddy Roosevelt's administration -- but know a thing or two about relationships! James and Dr. Steve give answers and direct him toward success!
When your spouse's ex has Borderline Personality Disorder, is there a way we can help the kids from that relationship? A listener writes in with this question, as she sets out to keep secure boundaries with her step children. James and Dr. Steve give answers to a difficult situation.
A listener writes in because she has a friend who pops in and out of their life... when they are together, the friendship is golden - but then there are long stretches of time where the friend disappears from the radar screen. James and Dr. Steve analyze and offer advice for how to handle a friendship that seems inconsistent at best.
When this listener and his girlfriend sit down for dinner, they ask each other how their day went... he gives brief answers, she tells a story -- but when is too much too much? James and Dr. Steve give answers on how to handle a big disparity in word volume between someone who is chatty and someone who is not!
A young listener writes in and tells about how her mother is losing her patience and temper with the family dog; then asks if there is anything she can do. James and Dr. Steve wade into a new relationship pool with this one, as they field the question and offer suggestions for mom.
Men and boys do a fair amount of trash talk with each other... A natural part of being a guy in America -- but how much is too much? James and Dr. Steve break down the game film and talk about the importance of talk... the nature of relationships, and how smack talk can be both a vehicle toward intimacy -- but also a barrier from it!
What should you do if you've told a professor you're not interested, but he continues to pursue? A listener faces this very quandary, as she is torn between protecting her career/future, and easing out of the advances made by a professor in her field. Listen as James and Dr. Steve band together to support her decision!
A child of divorce wants to be okay with their mom's boyfriend, but it's easier said that done. A psychologist and a comedy writer weigh in on how to make it happen.
If your partner uses sarcasm a lot, what does that mean? A listener asks about how her relationship is viewed by outsiders -- as she and her boyfriend have a certain manner of relating to each other that is comfortable for them, but has drawn some concern from others.
With dating and meet-up apps becoming more popular than ever, users are having difficulty defining the nature and future of relationships started in this quick manner. This week, a listener writes in with a question about whether the signals mean their relationship is intended to last. Peer in as James and Dr. Steve help read the signs, and discuss this relatively new relationship phenomenon.
A woman wants to know if she should pursue a coworker she's interested in. She thinks it's mutual, but she's not sure. Is this sort of thing still okay in 2018?
A listener writes in and asks about how to handle her mother - who is impossible to please, and will find something wrong with everything the daughter does. Dr. Steve and James break down the relationship, and offer advice that is both psychologically sound, and practical in its approach.
A listener writes in and asks about some unrequited feelings -- she has been giving a lot to this relationship (friendship?)... he has not. She asks our opinion about the future and what to do -- and Dr. Steve & James give candid feedback on their views of the long-term potential. If you've ever felt like you've been "friend-zoned", this episode is a MUST listen!
A listener writes an and tells a secret - she is developing a crush on her boyfriend's brother. Whether it's dating or a marriage, interests on people outside of the relationship can be a learning experience. Listen to Dr. Steve and James guide her through the thinking process.
A listener writes in and classically describes narcissism, through the actions of her mean mother. The family dynamics unfold among the children and father, and James & Dr. Steve give advice on how to proceed, given the limited options offered by her mom.
A listener writes in and reports that a girl who broke up with him a year before -- now wants to "give it another try". He asks the advice of James and Dr. Steve, who are in TOTAL agreement about the decision!
When you marry your spouse, you marry their family... Listen in as James and Dr. Steve work through a strategy for dealing with a sister-in-law who is determined to make one of our listeners as uncomfortable as she can!
Another great question from a listener - she writes in that her wedding day is coming up fast -- and so is her stress! She's worried about what unhealthy relatives will do to hijack or sabotage her big day! James and Dr. Steve are eye-to-eye again this week, as they lay out the battle plan...
You ever talk to somebody who wants to keep talking over you? Cutting you off, jumping in... even if they don't mean to? This week, James and Dr. Steve tackle that issue, and provide concrete solutions to keep you assertive without being aggressive!
Old issues die hard - especially for some folks! If your partner keeps bringing up things from the past (things you THOUGHT had been sorted out), listen in... a psychologist discusses options and solutions.
Our first question about sexuality within a relationship. A listener writes and expresses concerns about the different sexual appetites of each partner, and the resentment that can build as a result. Listen in while James gets more and more uncomfortable - as Steve ventures into an arena that is commonplace for relationship therapists!
A listener writes in and asks about social anxiety - her boyfriend seems to suffer from a touch of it. Dr. Steve goes into detail about understanding and managing it behaviorally - and James shares some anecdotes from his own life and relationships.
Petty arguments crop up from time to time in every long term relationship, but what do they mean? A wife writes in with a perfect example, and Dr. Steve offers a shocking opinion! It seems the comedian and psychologist agree on this one, as James has his back.
James and Dr. Steve field a question from a frustrated woman: her boyfriend refuses to make a decision, thereby leaving her to take the risk with every crossroad. Listen as we break it down and give advice to spare her from getting irritated, and perhaps save their relationship!
A girlfriend writes in, frustrated by her boyfriend's apparent "commitment phobia". She wants to know if it is time to hold 'em, or time to fold 'em… James and Dr. Steve break it down and give her practical advice.
A wife writes in because her husband seems upset by her making more money than him, so she is seeking advice. James and Steve give their feedback, and discuss how fragile some marital issues can make us feel.
A listener asked about watching television in order to fall asleep: Is it rude to the partner trying to fall asleep next to them, and is it overall a good idea anyway? James and Dr. Steve give their insights, and may just agree with each other again...
James and Dr. Steve get a question from a listener who feels his girlfriend would like for their relationship to move forward much faster than he is comfortable with. He asks if they should have a talk or break up now - so we address and respond to his situation, then discuss how any relationship will have shades of this issue.
Some pre-marital advice! A listener wrote in and asked about his fiancé - who is ten years older than him. Listen as James and Dr. Steve talk about the pros and cons of age difference for the long term health of a relationship.
This may be a post-mortem, but a listener asked about "Borderline Personality Disorder" -- because he is divorcing a spouse who has been given that diagnosis. Dr. Steve explains the condition, and talks about treatment and prognosis.
James and Steve take a shot at solving a tough one - a listener wrote in because she is concerned about her partner's drinking. Listen as they break down the issue, and talk toward solutions.
A listener asked about negotiating aggressive driving. Both partners refuse to drive with the other because they distrust their partner's driving. James and Dr. Steve break it down and discuss solutions (AND reasons) for this type of relationship grapple!
Great question from a twitter follower about how financial decisions are made in a marriage. James and Steve tackle the issue head-on, and discuss options for the couple. Listen, laugh, and learn as wit is mixed with wisdom, as per their typical style!
James and Steve build upon the momentum from a successful launch, and take on a question about living with opposite schedules (early bird & night owl). Your affable hosts talk it out and give real answers to the real world relationship questions -- and all in ten minutes!
Our first episode of the new show! Great question from a listener who is concerned about a spouse wanting to "open" the relationship... James and Steve start ironing out the wrinkles of the new format, while they iron out the wrinkles of the Marriage!