Stressless Eating: Recent Episodes
Leanne Ellington
The Stressless Eating Podcast with Leanne Ellington helps diet-obsessed and food-crazed women break themselves out of the food and body prison, end the dieting madness, and take control of their health for good. This podcast is about answering one question: how can YOU heal your relationship with food and your body, and take a practical approach to this whole self love journey, but without all that restriction, obsession, and shame...and without needing years of ‘therapy’ to do so. If you want to know the answer, you're in the right place, so subscribe to our podcast and we'll see you there.
Welcome back to the Stressless Eating Podcast "Mini-Series" where I am sharing 4 cut-to-the-heart-of-it VIDEO podcasts, designed to be the "quick and dirty" solutions you need to your biggest food and self-image struggles.
These are all the things I WISH someone had told me decades ago about truly healing from the disorder of chronic dieting, and healing my relationship with food and myself...and this is Episode #4.
In this video I cover:
➨ How to have BOTH: stay on a healthy path and feel a sense of freedom WITHOUT going off the "deep end" and feeling out of control.
➨ What the ALTERNATIVE to dieting actually looks like (and no it doesn't mean gaining a bunch of weight or "giving up")
➨ What I wish someone told me DECADES ago, so that I could take my own power back from the food and get my life back!
Welcome back to the Stressless Eating Podcast "Mini-Series" where I am sharing 4 cut-to-the-heart-of-it VIDEO podcasts, designed to be the "quick and dirty" solutions you need to your biggest food and self-image struggles.
These are all the things I WISH someone had told me decades ago about truly healing from the disorder of chronic dieting, and healing my relationship with food and myself...and this is Episode #3.
➨ Why therapy, positive thinking, and mantras DO NOT work if your subconscious brain has been thinking the OPPOSITE forever...and what to do instead.
➨ What your brain ACTUALLY needs so that the work you do 'lands' in your brain, and you actually transform the narrative in your Self-Image.
➨ How to transform the topic of "self-love" from fluffy or ambiguous....and finally take a systematic and scientific approach to earning back your own self-love, trust, and respect.
Welcome back to the Stressless Eating Podcast "Mini-Series" where I am sharing 4 cut-to-the-heart-of-it VIDEO podcasts, designed to be the "quick and dirty" solutions you need to your biggest food and self-image struggles.
These are all the things I WISH someone had told me decades ago about truly healing from the disorder of chronic dieting, and healing my relationship with food and myself...and this is Episode #2.
In this video I cover:
➨ What the "Band-Aid to Bounceback Effect" Is... and why you need to avoid it at all costs
➨ My biggest lessons from teaching women the "Diet Mentality"...and how to make sure that your current health strategy sets you up for true freedom
➨ What a "day in the life" of a dieter REALLY looks like, and what it takes to teach your brain a new (healthy) 'language' and get OFF the vicious roller coaster -- even if NOT dieting feels really scary.
Welcome to the Stressless Eating Podcast "Mini-Series" where I am sharing 4 cut-to-the-heart-of-it VIDEO podcasts, designed to be the "quick and dirty" solutions you need to your biggest food and self-image struggles.
These are all the things I WISH someone had told me decades ago about truly healing from the disorder of chronic dieting, and healing my relationship with food and myself...and this is Episode #1.
In this video I cover how to heal the cycle of Overeating...
➨ Whether you find yourself using food to fill a void of stress, boredom, or loneliness....
➨ Whether you're using food to comfort, numb, sooth, or distract...
➨ Whether it's the INEVITABLE bounce back effect that comes off the back of a long period of restricting, controlling, depriving, or dieting.
➨ OR Maybe it's all of those things!
We are going to talk about why it happens....and how to STOP using food to fill some sort of void that will NEVER be filled with food....
...and if food IS your "dirty little secret", we are going to talk about how to relinquish all that SHAME and stigma that tends to come alongside this topic.
We wrapped on Season 2 of the Stressless Eating Podcast back in December, but I recently sat down with a client of mine where she shared her VERY VULNERABLE journey, and I knew I had to share it.
You see when I met Anita, she was almost at that point of giving up altogether. Anita was so bummed out that after attempting every diet under the sun and going through SO MUCH therapy to heal her struggles with food and her body -- she got to that point where she thought that NOTHING and NO ONE could help her -- that she was just a "lost cause" or destined to stay "this way" forever.
And then there was the big elephant in the room for Anita that (when I met her) was her BIGGEST source of pain and shame:
Bariatric Surgery
Anita had gastric bypass a couple years before we met, thinking that THIS would be the radical step she needed to get her life back in control.
And even though the surgery helped her lose weight initially, she started gaining it back and went back to her “default” of eating junk foods in binge-like fashion... and feeling like she wasn't worthy of "being thin". Not to mention all the SHAME she was experiencing from the thoughts of "If I can’t do this with surgery, what’s left?!"
She knew she didn't want to go through life abstaining from foods, constantly thinking about her weight, or trying to manage the shame and self-criticism that her brain and self-image had gotten used to, but it seemed that everywhere she turned, the only option available to her was ANOTHER form of restriction or obsession!
Desperate to change, but not wanting to go on yet another diet, she somehow stumbled upon my Podcast and booked a call to speak with me about getting help.
There was so much information out there, and she was so overwhelmed and tired of thinking about it all, but she knew she had to do SOMETHING radically different. She knew that the problem was in her BRAIN.
In this episode Anita shares the in's and out's of her struggles, her journey, and the steps she took that finally led her to freedom after DECADES of shaming herself and feeling out of control.
Watch the Stressless Eating Webinar:
www.StresslessEating.com
Join us for a special series of the Stressless Eating Podcast where we are hosting the Stressless Eating Virtual Book Club. On this episode of the podcast, we we walk through the 8th & 9th Chapters!
Grab your free copy of the Stressless Eating Book by going to:
www.StresslessEatingBook.com
And try the NEW Stressless Eating Scorecard, and find out where the 8 Stressless Eating Power Mindsets can pull you out of the food and body prison and set you free by going to
www.StresslessEatingScore.com
Join us for a special series of the Stressless Eating Podcast where we are hosting the Stressless Eating Virtual Book Club. On this episode of the podcast, we we walk through the 7th Chapter!
Grab your free copy of the Stressless Eating Book by going to:
www.StresslessEatingBook.com
And try the NEW Stressless Eating Scorecard, and find out where the 8 Stressless Eating Power Mindsets can pull you out of the food and body prison and set you free by going to
www.StresslessEatingScore.com
Join us for a special series of the Stressless Eating Podcast where we are hosting the Stressless Eating Virtual Book Club. On this episode of the podcast, we we walk through the 6th Chapter!
Grab your free copy of the Stressless Eating Book by going to:
www.StresslessEatingBook.com
And try the NEW Stressless Eating Scorecard, and find out where the 8 Stressless Eating Power Mindsets can pull you out of the food and body prison and set you free by going to
www.StresslessEatingScore.com
Join us for a special series of the Stressless Eating Podcast where we are hosting the Stressless Eating Virtual Book Club. On this episode of the podcast, we we walk through the 5th Chapter!
Grab your free copy of the Stressless Eating Book by going to:
www.StresslessEatingBook.com
And try the NEW Stressless Eating Scorecard, and find out where the 8 Stressless Eating Power Mindsets can pull you out of the food and body prison and set you free by going to
www.StresslessEatingScore.com
Join us for a special series of the Stressless Eating Podcast where we are hosting the Stressless Eating Virtual Book Club. On this episode of the podcast, we we walk through the 4th Chapter!
Grab your free copy of the Stressless Eating Book by going to:
www.StresslessEatingBook.com
And try the NEW Stressless Eating Scorecard, and find out where the 8 Stressless Eating Power Mindsets can pull you out of the food and body prison and set you free by going to
www.StresslessEatingScore.com
Join us for a special series of the Stressless Eating Podcast where we are hosting the Stressless Eating Virtual Book Club. On this episode of the podcast, we we walk through the 3rd Chapter!
Grab your free copy of the Stressless Eating Book by going to:
www.StresslessEatingBook.com
And try the NEW Stressless Eating Scorecard, and find out where the 8 Stressless Eating Power Mindsets can pull you out of the food and body prison and set you free by going to
www.StresslessEatingScore.com
Join us for a special series of the Stressless Eating Podcast where we are hosting the Stressless Eating Virtual Book Club. On this episode of the podcast, we we walk through the 2nd Chapter!
Grab your free copy of the Stressless Eating Book by going to:
www.StresslessEatingBook.com
And try the NEW Stressless Eating Scorecard, and find out where the 8 Stressless Eating Power Mindsets can pull you out of the food and body prison and set you free by going to
www.StresslessEatingScore.com
Join us for a special series of the Stressless Eating Podcast where we are hosting the Stressless Eating Virtual Book Club. On this episode of the podcast, we we walk through the 1st Chapter!
Grab your free copy of the Stressless Eating Book by going to:
www.StresslessEatingBook.com
And try the NEW Stressless Eating Scorecard, and find out where the 8 Stressless Eating Power Mindsets can pull you out of the food and body prison and set you free by going to
www.StresslessEatingScore.com
The tables have officially turned, as this week's episode is unlike any that we have ever recorded.
My good friend Kevin Donahue is back on the podcast -- only this time, he is interviewing ME!
It's no secret that my latest book Stressless Eating is a product of my own deepest struggles, biggest shames, and the journey that transpired even AFTER I lost close to 100 pounds.
You would think that AFTER I lost 1/3 of my body weight, I would feel beautiful and happy and free (and all the things the magazines promised me)...
...but because I never addressed the Self-Image and Body-Image that was causing me to think, act, feel, and behave like I was fat, ugly, a failure, or "destined to stay this way forever."..
...yes, I lost the weight, but I brought all of my old habits, old thinking, and old behaviors with me.
I was bouncing from one extreme to the other! I would diet and restrict til I couldn’t take it anymore, and then the polar opposite would take over: Carefree abandonment – eating whatever I could get my hands on, and then feeling guilty or trying to out-exercise my overeating.
And this caused me to LIVE on that up-and-down all-or-nothing 'Results Roller Coaster' that I speak of.
I was the OPPOSITE of free.
I was also the OPPOSITE of happy!
But everywhere I turned to get the help that I desperately needed ...I was simply thrown MORE diet and exercise plans at my EMOTIONAL struggles.
And the quest towards my own version of Stressless Eating and self-love truly began.
Tune in to this week's episode where Kevin sat ME down, asked me some really HARD questions, and together we revealed the Truth About Stressless Eating.
Nowadays where studies show that while less than 1% of American women suffer from anorexia and less than 1.5% of women suffer from bulimia...
Studies also show that 75% of American women suffer with Disordered Eating.
Let me say that again:
3/4 of the women in America suffer from Disordered Eating (and these studies only included Americans, but we also know it's a world wide epidemic).
Now here's the truth:
While pretty much everyone knows what an Eating Disorder is, most have never even heard of this thing called Disordered Eating (I know I sure hadn't!).
An even lesser known (and talked about) form of Disordered Eating is something called Orthorexia.
Orthorexia is when someone takes their health to an extreme, and they inhabit an excessive preoccupation or obsession with eating healthy food.
According to The National Eating Disorders Association Orthorexia entails:
Obsessive focus on food choices, food regarded primarily as source of health rather than pleasure; distress or disgust when in proximity to prohibited foods ; periodic shifts in dietary beliefs; moral judgment of others based on their dietary choices; body image distortion; persistent belief that dietary practices are health-promoting despite evidence of experiencing malnutrition...and the list goes on, and on, and on.
And because of all of the misinformation that's being thrown at us, Orthorexia is spreading like a wildfire -- ESPECIALLY in the female population.
The EFFECT of all of this?
An extremely DISORDERED relationship with food.
And if you're anything like myself and all my clients...
You've been exposed to the 'Dark Side' of the health industry for a very long time, and it's super important that you know what to look out for to make sure that YOUR health journey....stays....healthy!
Laura Lea Bryant is back on the podcast to help me unpack this super-important topic and share her personal experiences....and her experience as an influencer in the health and wellness world.
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar:
https://www.StresslessEating.com
For years, all Julie really knew was a life of restricting her food intake, dieting, or feeling the incessant need to exercise to “burn it off” or feel in control. Food and her body were topics that carried a lot of shame and guilt, and she had almost completely convinced herself that this was just the way things were going to be. She truly believed that she was as forgone as you could be, and her skepticism was through the roof when we first connected — truly thinking that she would be the one person this would NOT work for.
Her relationship with herself was suffering, as her weight had the power to dictate her mood in an instant, which added another level of guilt caused by not showing up as who she wanted to be. Feeling she had tried everything in the book, Julie scheduled a call with me and took a leap of faith to finally commit to herself.
Accepting that the road to peace, love and happiness with herself was a long term game, she began taking steps toward healing her body & mind and reclaiming her life. In this interview she shares her amazing journey, her fears & hesitations, her radical transformation, and what enabled her to finally set herself free.
I've never met a woman that struggles with food or struggles with her body that isn't absolutely sick and tired of crazy, restrictive dieting!
★ She is sick of constantly weighing, measuring, calculating...
★ She is sick of stressing, guessing, and OBSESSING...
★ She is sick of all the judgment, self-criticism, self-loathing, and shame...
★ She is sick of valuing herself based on how much she weighs or how much she ate that day...
★ She is sick of living in a PRISON -- a body prison, a food prison, a prison that she doesn’t know how to get out of...
Yet when we talk about what they are currently doing to address their struggles...
Dieting is the #1 answer I hear. (The restrictive, all-or-nothing kind of dieting.)
★ She is actively voting on the thing she claims to hate.
★ She is actively choosing the thing that's KEEPING her in the prison.
And to boot...
★ She is actively choosing something that she’s identified hasn't worked, isn't working, and (when she gets really honest) knows will NEVER work.
It's one big Catch 22.
There's absolutely no shame and no judgement around this WHATSOEVER -- it's the same cycle that I was stuck on for DECADES, and I have nothing but love and compassion for those stuck on that same up-and-down roller coaster... because it absolutely SUCKS!
That's why I'm here to simply point it out, shed some awareness, and hopefully shine a light on this conundrum that a lot of women don't even realize they have become entangled in...
And I want to make the whole thing EASIER for you! So you can just be done with it and spend your time, energy, heart, and soul on all the things you REALLY want to be spending it on.
That's why my latest podcast episode is dedicated to just that.
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar:
https://www.StresslessEating.com
When it comes to the diet mentality, body shame, disordered eating, and all the internal stress and chaos that comes alongside all of that, for so many women this is their deepest held secret.
This struggle with food, their body, the war in their head, the fight in their hearts, and the shame. All that shame about their body, feeling so out of control all the time, feeling like a failure….for so many women, no one even knows what's really going on!
★ No one knows how much they are REALLY struggling and suffering.
★ No one knows how much time and energy they are spending thinking about what they should or shouldn’t eat, what they should wear — or what they can wear that fits or doesn’t look tight.
★ No one knows how much time they are thinking about how bad they actually feel.
★ No one knows that they aren’t even fully present in their lives— that even though they are there in the flesh and blood, they aren’t really ‘there’ -- they aren’t fully present.
What’s even worse is: no one is talking about this OR how to get past it. In today’s episode we are not only going to take a look at this overlooked subject, but I also share the “What I know now that I wish I knew then” steps to actually get PAST it.
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar: https://www.StresslessEating.com
I’m constantly talking about how your self image and self worth impacts every part of your life. But have you ever stopped to think how it might be affecting your money and finances?
On today’s episode of the podcast, I’ve asked my friend and mentor Toyin Crandell to join me to discuss how your self-worth absolutely impacts your net worth.
After being stuck on the diet roller coaster for decades, constantly experiencing that one-step-forward, two-steps-back 'dance' from the constant dieting, Melissa was hell bent on healing her relationship with food once and for all.
Newly married and successful in her career and family life, her world was filled with a ton of success and external accomplishments, but this was the one thing she couldn't seem to get ahead of, and she didn’t know how to break the vicious cycle on her own.
Apprehensive but knowing something had to change, Melissa booked a call with me. She was admittedly a bit weary at this point after doing SO MUCH personal development work on herself and trying every diet under the sun, but she knew in her heart that there WAS a way out of the vicious cycle, and she decided she was no longer willing to live this way. And that's when she got started in the Stressless Eating program.
In this interview she shares her journey, her struggles, her shifts, and what enabled HER to finally heal her relationship with food, find freedom in her body, and set herself free.
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar: https://www.StresslessEating.com
I am so excited to welcome back Suzanne to the podcast to share her insights and wisdom now that she's been a graduate of Stressless Eating for nearly 2 years.
The growth just keeps on coming, and on this episode of the podcast, Suzanne shares how she not only broke out of the food, body, and self-rejection prison that she felt powerless to escape from, but how it also transformed her journey of calling in a loving relationship (among other things).
As Suzanne shared on her first apearance on the podcast, her Self-Image and Body-Image kept her from putting herself out there to find true love, knowing that if she didn’t find it in herself FIRST, she would never be able to fully receive it from another, and she's here to share the full-circle story of how she finally created her road to self-love and how that led to meeting the love of her life.
We talk about this....and so much more.
★Catch Suzanne's first episode here:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/case-study-food-freedom-and-self-love-in-months/id1521598815?i=1000480874880
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar: https://www.StresslessEating.com
Laura Lea Bryant is back on the podcast, and this time it's to talk about Stressless Cooking.
A few years ago, we realized that the same stress and emotion that women experience with food...
It shows up in COOKING too!
To a lot of women, cooking is STRESSFUL!
And that's why Laura Lea and I hunkered down in Asheville for 4 days, determined not to leave until we were able to take the stress and emotion out of cooking... and help women take control of their lives by taking control of their KITCHEN!
And Stressless Cooking was born 🙂
We share some of the mindsets and beliefs to watch out for and how to become a Stressless Cook yourself, so that can remove the stress, emotion, and frustration from cooking and preparing food and take control of your life by taking control of your kitchen.
You can follow Laura Lea here: https://www.instagram.com/lauraleabalanced/
We are in for a treat today as we welcome back Jenna to the podcast to share her insights and wisdom now that she's been a graduate of Stressless Eating for nearly 2 years.
The growth just keeps on coming, and on this episode of the podcast, Jenna shares how she's completely redefined her definition of health and self-care (especially in 'pandemic times'), how slowing down has actually helped accelerate her growth, and a look back at how taking a nervous system approach to health helped her reversed her pre-diabetic diagnosis.
We talk about this....and so much more.
★Catch Jenna's first episode here:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/case-study-how-a-full-time-working-mom-ditched-her/id1521598815?i=1000486442063
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar:
https://www.StresslessEating.com
Nowadays where studies show that while less than 1% of American women suffer from anorexia and less than 1.5% of women suffer from bulimia...
Studies also show that 75% of American women suffer with Disordered Eating.
Let me say that again:
3/4 of the women in America suffer from Disordered Eating (and these studies only included Americans, but we also know it's a world wide epidemic).
Now here's the truth:
While pretty much everyone knows what an Eating Disorder is, most have never even heard of this thing called Disordered Eating (I know I sure hadn't!)
And considering that 75% of women suffer from it, I think it's a really important thing to know about -- and even more important that we talk about it
According to The National Eating Disorders Association Disordered Eating entails:
Frequent dieting, anxiety associated with specific foods or meal skipping. Preoccupation with food, weight and body image that negatively impacts quality of life. A feeling of loss of control around food, including compulsive eating habits.
In other words....
The Statistics Don’t Lie (Disordered Eating is Spreading Like A Wildfire!)
Disordered Eating is everything that we talk about here on this podcast that I refer to as the diet mentality or the weight loss mentality...but I truly believe that Disordered eating is actually the cause AND effect of the Diet Mentality.
The CAUSE?
★ The mindset that there are "good foods" and "bad foods"
★ The thought-process of "eat less, move more".
★ Constantly focusing on your scale weight, jean size, or a calorie count.
★ Doing ANYTHING to move that scale or drop a few pounds....even if it means sacrificing your health or your happiness.
★ Constantly counting calories, carbs, fat grams, protein.
★ Always thinking about food, controlling yourself around food, or feeling OUT of control around food.
The EFFECT of all of this?
An extremely DISORDERED relationship with food.
And if you're anything like myself and all my clients...
You've been learning that way of thinking for a long time.
You learned it...just like I learned it. So let's un-learn it, shall we?
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar:
https://www.StresslessEating.com
After feeling stuck on the diet roller coaster and living with emotional eating for decades, Jessica thought she was just “one of those people” that would have to live like this forever.
Her life was filled with lots of success and external accomplishments, but deep down she knew this was affecting every area of her life, but she just didn’t know how to break the vicious cycle.
And on top of the food and body and shame prison that she felt powerless to escape from, unbeknownst to her at the time we met, she would also be going through an upcoming divorce.
Apprehensive but knowing something had to change, Jessica booked a call with me. She had her fears after years of endless dieting, but feeling out of control of food and her emotions was no longer a way she wanted to live. So she got started in Stressless Eating.
In this interview she shares her journey, her struggles, her shifts, and what enabled HER to finally set herself free.
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar: https://www.StresslessEating.com
For the first 30 years of my life, my relationship with food had 2 'modes'.
On
-OR-
Off
There was no middle ground for me. I was either walking around day-in, day-out as:
My Inner Food Police:
Micromanaging every morsel of food I ate or thought about eating. Controlling myself, restricting myself, punishing myself, and persuading myself not to eat certain things because they were "bad" or "not healthy". Obsession. Harsh judgments. All that shame, blame, guilt, comparison, and perfectionism...
-OR-
My Inner Rebel (See also: Inner Glutton!)
Carefree abandonment – eating whatever I could get my hands on. Gluttonously over-stuffing myself. Binging on the weekends. Utter lack of care of my body, what I ate, how I moved, and my health in general. But also feeling like I had to "get it all in" over the weekend before I went back into "Police" mode on Monday.
And THIS was my life for over 30 years!
Bouncing from one extreme to the other: I would diet and restrict until I couldn’t possibly take it anymore, and then....I would TOTALLY let myself go.
But the day came that I hit my 'enough is enough' point, and I realized that if I didn't change my STRATEGY and change the STORIES around food and my body that were keeping me stuck, this is how it would ALWAYS be!
And that scared the crap out of me, and THAT is when I knew I had to set out to change it.
Because...
★ I was SICK of all the dieting and restricting and constantly playing 'food police'.
★ I was SICK of all the judging and shaming and EMOTION that came alongside food.
★ I was SICK of hating what I had to DO, who I had to BE, and how I had to FEEL to get the "body I always wanted".
It was EXHAUSTING. And I was the OPPOSITE of FREE.
So if YOU are still stuck on that on-again, off-again roller coaster with food or your body or your emotions, I'm here to tell you:
There IS a better way! And you don't have to live like this! And that’s why I break down what’s happening deep down in your BRAIN when this happens...and how to stop it in its tracks.
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar: https://www.StresslessEating.com
When I look back at my life, I realize that decades of the “Diet Mentality’ and all the self-loathing that came alongside it had a cost that I didn’t even know to look for — that I didn’t even know to try to avoid.
And what made it even harder was: No one was talking about this! No one warned me about the 'dark side' of living your life handcuffed to a diet, and no one warned me about the prison that it leaves you in.
For me it was:
★ A Food Prison that had me chained to the handcuffs of restriction, deprivation, control, and OBSESSING over every morsel of food that touched my lips…or (when I couldn’t possibly take it any longer) veering over to the OPPOSITE side: care-free abandonment, eating everything in sight, feeding my sugar addictions, and using food to comfort, distract, or numb myself. (And then of course the cascade of guilt, shame, and self-loathing that would follow suit).
★ A Body Prison where I felt like I was walking around in a body that didn’t reflect the woman I really was — like the outsides didn’t match the insides — but that I felt powerless to change. A prison of wearing ‘fat clothes’, covering my body with cardigans, and refusing to wear shorts or tank tops (or god forbid be seen in a bathing suit!) even when it was 95 degrees outside. Not to mention allowing my body to BE the barrier that kept me from doing what I wanted to do, feeling how I wanted to feel, and showing up as the version of myself that I really was…but I just couldn’t access her.
★ A Shame Prison where I was outright ashamed that (after decades on this planet) I was STILL struggling with food, still struggling with my body, and still on this up-and-down roller coaster. I felt like a fraud — like if anyone ever “found me out” they would see how crazy or broken I really was. And of course there was the shame that followed me around every single day because of the identity that I had created about my struggles — that I WAS my body, that I WAS my addictions, that I WAS a failure.
And of course… ★ A ‘Fat Head’ that (no matter how much weight I lost or how ‘successful’ I became) my Self-Image saw me through goggles seeing me as ‘fat’, ‘unloveable’, a ‘failure’, ’embarrassing’, and that I would never be enough — skinny enough, successful enough, enough period.
And all of this left me in a prison of pain, disconnection, and loneliness.
Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Spritually.
And in those moments of clarity, that’s when I realized:
“Whoa! This is not unique to ME!” Every woman that feels stuck on the diet and weight loss roller coaster is paying their own MAJOR COST too! And in this episode of the Stressless Eating Podcast we get into the in’s and out’s of how to avoid the price you pay for always being on a diet (and what they don’t tell you!)
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar: https://www.StresslessEating.com
When I met Erin, she felt like she had tried everything under the sun -- and she was so sick of all the black/white, "should"/"shouldn't" rules that were causing her to obsess over food, and eventually cave and binge. And....she was also (at the time) a new mom again -- having a newborn baby ON TOP of raising her 2-year old.
Desperate to change, feeling like she was a prisoner to food (always thinking about dieting OR simply feeling like a failure for not being able to stick with anything long-term), she found me and booked a call to speak with me about getting help, KNOWING that her problems were getting worse going down the road she was going down.
There was so much information out there, and she was so overwhelmed and tired of thinking about it all, but she knew she had to do SOMETHING radically different. She knew that the problem was in her BRAIN. In this episode of the podcast, Erin shares the in's and out's of her struggles, her journey, and the steps she took that finally led her to freedom after feeling out of control for her entire life.
But also...why it was so important to do it NOW -- while her kids were young -- and not use the “I don’t have time for myself” excuse any longer.
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar: https://www.StresslessEating.com
I am so excited to share my interview with Radio Personality and Podcaster Amy Brown!
If you’re not familiar with Amy, she’s the beloved co-host of The Bobby Bones Show, and she launched her own podcast nearly 2 years ago to shed light on the topics she’s passionate and purposeful about.
You've heard me a couple different times on her 4 Things With Amy Brown podcast, and more recently on her newest podcast: Outweigh.
But now the tables have turned, and I had the opportunity to sit down with Amy where she laid it all out there including:
★ HER journey with her own food and body struggles, what it's like
★ What it's like being around celebrities and music superstars WHILE dealing with her own 'stuff'.
★ How she takes a stand for women's healing and has dedicated a ton of time to supporting women heal their struggles with food and her body.
All of that...and so much more!
She is truly a woman on a mission to empower other women, and she’s so transparent and raw and honest and real. I loved co-creating magic with this awesome lady!
We recorded this episode live from her home in Nashville, and I couldn’t be more excited about how it turned out.
Lauren Buck is back on the podcast for Part 2 of Stressless Parenting, and this episode is powerful! Lauren is an expert on all things relating to parenting and self-care for the modern-day woman and the founder of Fully Present Mom. In this episode we address the traps and beliefs that come up for all women (not just moms!) that keep them trapped in an identity and self-image that doesn’t serve them.
Whether you have kids or not, this is a conversation with timeless truths that will relate to any woman.
★ Listen to Part 1 of Stressless Parenting Here:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stressless-parenting-part-1-with-lauren-buck/id1521598815?i=1000530235319
★ You Can Connect More With Lauren Here:
https://www.fullypresent.mom/
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar:
https://www.StresslessEating.com
When I met Nicole, she was tired of the constant narrative in her brain of negative self-talk and the constant body shaming that was going through her head.
Not to mention, she had tried every diet under the sun to heal her struggles with food and her body -- she had even a therapy and EFT Tapping -- but talking about her past struggles and constantly thinking about her current pain was wearing her out and not providing her the freedom she desperately wanted!
She knew she didn't want to go through life abstaining from foods, constantly thinking about her weight, or trying to manage the shame and self-criticism that her brain and self-image had gotten used to, but it seemed that everywhere she turned, the only option available to her was ANOTHER form of restriction or obsession!
Desperate to change, but not wanting to go on yet another diet, she found me and booked a call to speak with me about getting help.
There was so much information out there, and she was so overwhelmed and tired of thinking about it all, but she knew she had to do SOMETHING radically different. She knew that the problem was in her BRAIN and SELF-IMAGE.
But there was something else that was in play when Nicole and I met: She had plans to walk down the aisle and marry her dream man in just a few months, and she KNEW she did not want to bring her old ways of being into her new chapter.
Oh yea...and to boot...this was all IN THE MIDDLE of a worldwide pandemic.
In this episode of the podcast, Nicole shares the in's and out's of her struggles, her journey, and the steps she took that finally led her to freedom after DECADES of shaming herself and feeling out of control.
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar:
https://www.StresslessEating.com
Has self care become just “another to-do” that overwhelms you, doesn't motivate you, or makes you feel even MORE stressed out? Or is it something that transforms your parenting WHILE allowing you to show up as a better version of yourself? The myth that “a good mom sacrifices herself” is old and outdated, and there's also a ton of other beliefs that are holding moms back from truly taking care of their health. In Part 1 of Stressless Parenting, I invited my friend Lauren Buck who is an expert on all things relating to parenting and self-care for the modern-day woman. In this episode we address head on the myths and beliefs that keep moms stuck...and how to transform your relationship to your kids through (real) self care. Whether you have kids or not, this is a conversation with timeless truths that will relate to any woman. ★ You Can Connect More With Lauren Here:
https://www.fullypresent.mom/
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar:
https://www.StresslessEating.com
On today's episode of the podcast, I invited one of my mentors Jessie Torres to enlighten us with her wisdom and insight, covering a super-cool topic.
Jessie has a unique stance on not just healing from trauma or painful experiences...but actually USING that pain to fuel your purpose and propel you into your greater future.
You might remember Jessie from season 1 where we talked about "Ditching Toxic Shame", and this episode is a direct follow up to what we shared in that episode.
Jessie’s journey was one filled with child abuse, the loss of a brother to murder, and a marriage that left her (as she describes) completely apathetic, emotionless, and spiritually dead. This left her living a life filled with fear, limitation and the darkness of shame every single day.
She turned her suffering and pain into purpose and passion, and now she helps men and women all over the world transform their narrative from "victim" to "victor", find the courage to take the small steps they need and peel back the layers of fear, to realize their full potential, and live the big life of their dreams.
We are so fortunate to have Jessie back on the podcast, where she shares her story and wisdom, and we talk about turning your biggest pain into your greatest purpose.
★ Learn About Jessie Here:
www.FierceGraceTransformation.com
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar:
https://www.StresslessEating.com
I’ve been doing the work that I’m doing for a LONG time, and I can’t even tell you how many women I work with that went to therapy, are in therapy, are thinking about therapy, or are therapists themselves (yes I work with a TON of doctors and therapists and medical professionals.)
But I truly believe that the struggles we as women face with food and our bodies...well...they are just DIFFERENT!
And even though I'm a BIG FAN of therapy, therapeutic modalities, and getting supported while you work through struggles, traumas, and life's curve balls...
...for whatever reason, the struggles that I faced with my body, food, and finding the love (and like) within myself, I found that most (not all) therapy-based approaches fell a bit short.
In this episode of the Stressless Eating Podcast, I walk you through why I believe that is AND what does work for truly ending the vicious diet cycle and healing your relationship with food and your body for good....but without needed to go spend years in therapy or drag it out to address it.
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar: https://www.StresslessEating.com
On today's episode of the podcast I am so excited to welcome Fernanda Lind!
Not only is she one of my amazing friends, but she’s also an award-winning entrepreneur and the host of the Wired to Win Podcast. With a career in the financial markets, managing a billion-dollar portfolio, and with a decade-long background as a professional dancer performing at the highest level, she understands the pressures of working in a high-stakes environment.
She has spent 10 years researching neuroplasticity and ancient wisdom to develop methods specifically aimed towards helping ambitious success-driven women reach their highest potential and step into more power and confidence in their lives and work.
On today’s episode of the podcast, we talk about what it REALLY takes to rewire your brain, the truth about eliminating burnout, and how to claim success in every area of life and truly live up to your potential.
★ Find out more about Fernanda’s mission here: www.RewiredGlobal.com
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar: https://www.StresslessEating.com
After being stuck on the diet roller coaster for decades, constantly experiencing that one-step-forward, two-steps-back 'dance' from the constant dieting, Jerry thought she was just “one of those people” that would have to live like this forever.
Her life was filled with lots of success and external accomplishments, but deep down she was living in disappointment, shame, and feeling like she knew there was so much more to life but just didn’t know how to break the vicious cycle.
And on top of the food and body prison that she felt powerless to escape from, her struggles with her health kept her from really putting herself out there to pursue her dreams and show people her TRUEST self -- always knowing that there was so much more of her life to live on the other side of her self-image struggles.
Apprehensive but knowing something had to change, Jerry booked a call with me. She was admittedly a bit weary at this point after doing SO MUCH personal development work on herself and trying every diet under the sun, but she knew in her heart that there WAS a way out of the vicious cycle, and she decided she was no longer willing to live this way. And that's when she got started in the Stressless Eating program.
In this interview she shares her journey, her struggles, her shifts, and what enabled HER to finally accept herself, love herself, and set herself free.
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar: https://www.StresslessEating.com
On today's episode of the podcast I am so excited to welcome back Rea Queen!
You might remember her from Season 1, where she joined me for Part 2 of "What's God Got To Do With It?" with her husband Kevin, who is the lead Pastor at Crosspoint Church in Nashville, TN.
Rea is his beautiful wife, partner-in-crime, a devoted mother, and a beloved part of the magic that transpires in our church community. More importantly, she has been instrumental in my faith journey, and she has graciously agreed to come back on the podcast and share her truths and speak from her heart.
No matter where you are in your spiritual journey, this is definitely a conversation that will not only meet you exactly where you are, but it will invite you into new possibilities of how you see yourself and your life.
In this episode, Rea and I sat down and talked about everything from Faith to Self-Love to your Identity through the eyes of God...and of course how it relates to your relationship with food and your body. Join us as we embark on an intimate conversation about a version of self-love like you’ve never heard before.
★ What’s God Got To Do With It? (Part 1)
★ What’s God Got To Do With It? (Part 2)
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar: https://www.StresslessEating.com
Laura Lea Bryant is back on the Stressless Eating Podcast, and the conversation is getting real! We talk about starting over, redefining yourself, what life is like when you are living in the spotlight, and how to recreate yourself through the eyes of love.
You’ve never heard this kind of conversation on this podcast, and this is definitely Laura Lea’s most vulnerable and ‘naked’ interview to date!
★ Follow Laura Lea on Instagram here: LauraLeaBalanced
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar: https://www.StresslessEating.com
I used to have a very dis-ordered and unhealthy relationship with exercise.
Exercise was something I did to 'earn' what I was eating, punish my body (and punish myself), obsess over, over-do, or use as a way to control myself.
And all it did was leave me chained inside of a prison -- secretly knowing that I was simply trying to out-exercise my unhealthy relationship with food and using it as a coping mechanism to make me feel 'successful' or ‘in control’ (when in reality there was a hole in my heart that could never be filled by losing weight or working out).
That is...until I healed my relationship with exercise, and created some new definitions.
And to talk about this topic on the podcast, I called on one one of my dearest friends who I've known for nearly 15 years, and is an expert in her field: Sarai White.
Because most women think they need to spend hours in the gym or beat their bodies to submission to get results, and not only is that NOT HEALTHY...it's also not true!
Here to set the record straight on all things exercise, healthy physique transformation, and healing your relationship with your body, Sarai and I get into all the nitty-gritty details in this episode of the podcast.
★ Follow Sarai on Instagram here: getfitwithsarai
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar: https://www.StresslessEating.com
Have you ever heard of ‘Emotional Anorexia’?
Well yes – it’s a ‘thing’!
Just like the food version –- you can have ‘Emotional Anorexia’, and it's a lot more common than you think.
Not only is it super-common, but it can be really UNhealthy for your mind, your body, your heart, your soul, and yes....your relationship with food.
On today's episode of the Podcast, I've invited one of my besties and the UK's leading dating coach to have a chat about how it impacts you and how you value yourself (and trust me, it’s not what you think!)
If you're stuck in a pattern of avoidance, procrastination, numbing out, soothing, or avoiding your life (or parts of your life), these might be symptoms of 'Emotional Anorexia'.
And that's why we decided to shed some light on this rarely-talked-about (and highly avoided) subject on this episode of the Stressless Eating Podcast.
★ Find out more about Kate here: https://KateMansfield.com/
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar: https://www.StresslessEating.com
When I met Carol, she was tired of the constant barrage of negative self-talk and constant body shaming that was going through her head. Not to mention, she had tried every diet under the sun to heal her struggles with food and her body -- she was even a “Lifetime Member” of Weight Watchers -- but “watching her weight” and constantly thinking about her struggles was wearing her out and running her ragged! She knew she didn't want to go through life abstaining from foods, constantly counting points, or trying to manage the anxiety that her brain had gotten used to, but it seemed that everywhere she turned, the only option available to her was ANOTHER form of restriction or obsession!
Desperate to change, but not wanting to go on yet another diet, she found me and booked a call to speak with me about getting help.
There was so much information out there, and she was so overwhelmed and tired of thinking about it all, but she knew she had to do SOMETHING radically different. She knew that the problem was in her BRAIN.
But there was something else that was in play when Carol and I met: A worldwide Pandemic was changing the way every woman in this world was navigating life, but that was not about to stop Carol!
In this episode of the podcast, Carol shares the in's and out's of her struggles, her journey, and the steps she took that finally led her to freedom after DECADES of anxiety and feeling out of control.
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar: https://www.StresslessEating.com
Born and raised in a quintessential “country music family”, as the oldest daughter of country music super star Alan Jackson, Mattie Jackson Selecman is as down-to-earth and open-hearted as they come. And wow...what a story and testimony we get the gift of hearing on today's episode!
It's no surprise that she has the gift of writing and storytelling, as she shares about her life growing up in a family in the spotlight, her entrepreneurial adventures in the wine and hospitality industries, and how life threw her a curveball she could have never predicted:
Three weeks before her first wedding anniversary, Mattie experienced unimaginable tragedy and lost her husband to a sudden brain injury, and she shares how as her life was being turned upside down, God had other plans for her, and her tragic experiences ultimately led to her finding her purpose, her mission, and a unique sense of healing in the aftermath of unthinkable loss.
Mattie courageously bares her soul and lays it all out for us to hear in this interview for the Stressless Eating Podcast, and I have no doubt that this episode will inspire you to live life with more appreciation, courage, and purpose.
You can find out more about Mattie and support her purpose-driven mission here:
★ Learn more about Nasheville and the She’s In The City Podcast: https://www.nasheville.com/
★ Follow Mattie on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/mjselecman
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar:
https://www.StresslessEating.com
Back in the day, my entire life revolved around FOOD and my BODY. In reality I just wanted to feel beautiful, feel proud of my life and my accomplishments, and simply be HAPPY! And I THOUGHT that losing weight would just magically heal all of my internal struggles and ‘make me’ happy.
So I went and did what any woman would do with (a lot) of weight to lose would do:
★ I went on every diet, plan, and program I could imagine.
★ I hired coaches, trainers, joined masterminds and coaching programs, and attended retreats and events and camps.
★ I even went back to therapy!
And it worked…to an extent.
But fast forward to the part where I ‘had it all’ – to the part in the story where I SHOULD have been happy and content. That’s not how the story went down AT ALL.
In reality, even AFTER I lost one-third of my body weight, built a successful business, and checked off all those proverbial ‘tick-boxes’ I thought I needed to be happy…
I was NOT happy.
And that’s because while I was so busy and intentional about ‘fixing’ everything OUTSIDE of me. I never went and changed what was going on INSIDE.
I never went and transformed my Self-Image. And in this episode of the podcast, we are going to talk about why you can’t out-diet, out-smart, or out-strategize your brain and your Self-Image AND what to do instead.
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar:
https://www.StresslessEating.com
Welcome back to the Stressless Eating Podcast where we help diet-obsessed and food-crazed women break themselves out of the food and body prison, end the dieting madness, and take control of their health for good. This podcast is about answering one question: how can YOU heal your relationship with food and your body, and take a practical approach to this whole self love journey....but without all that restriction, obsession, and shame...and without needing years of ‘therapy’ to do so.
This is the first episode of Season 2, and I am pumped to continue sharing stories and lessons and principles that will help you stress LESS about food and your body... and stress LESS in your head and your heart. But before we dive into ‘the meat’ of the episodes, I wanted to go back and connect some dots, revisit the topics and conversations from Season 1, and simply bring you up to speed. In addition to that, I wanted to show you a sneak peek of what’s to come in the current season of the Podcast.
And in this first episode of the Season, that’s exactly what we did: A viewpoint of Stressless Eating past, present, and future.
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar:
https://www.StresslessEating.com
Okay, I have to admit: I've never fully been on board with this whole 'New Year, New You' stuff.
I'm assuming you're getting bombarded by messages about what you 'should' START doing to make 2021 amazing right now, right?
I know I am! Everything from diets to workouts to financial advice to dating to making money -- you name it -- I'm getting list after list of things that I need to start doing if I'm (quote unquote) 'serious' about my success in the year ahead.
But that's the problem: Most women aren't ready for this.
In fact, they're suffering from what I refer to as the 'Holiday Hangover'. I see it ALL the time (ESPECIALLY with women!):
It's when the stress of ‘making the holidays work’ (more often than not) leads to overwhelm, burnout, frustration (and even some resentment) that then creates -- not just a SLOWdown, but a SHUTdown in the new year.
Instead of starting strong, a lot of women don’t start at all because they are disconnected and exhausted...or they commit to setting new goals because they think that's what they are 'supposed' to do or 'should' do OR that it's 'better than doing nothing'.
But I want to lovingly disagree!
Since when is adding even MORE stuff to do to an already overly-busy and overwhelmed life a good strategy?
Since when was the answer to overwhelm to find even MORE to do?
So I dare you for the next week or so, buy nothing from no-one -- me included!
Instead, give yourself what you REALLY need right now: Clarity. A strategy that will actually work for you. A clear plan of action that you can (and will!) actually carry out.
And this episode of the podcast is dedicated to helping you do just that. I've laid out the beginning-of-the year process that I've personally taken myself through for years now, and I wanted to share it with the Stressless Eating Podcast listeners.
★ The Tale of 2 Cookies: Busting Through ‘The Diet Mentality’ Myth: https://leanneellington.com/episode1/
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar: https://www.StresslessEating.com
Yes it's true that this time of year can be super tricky because it has the tendency to spin women out of control (or at least feel like you are out of control). If you have tendencies to be “on a wagon” or “off a wagon” or any of those black/white, all-or-nothing ways of living around food and your health, then YES, this has the potential to be a really triggering time of year.
This is also where a lot of experts and influencers will be giving you tips and tricks to “maintain your willpower” or to white knuckle your way through cravings and temptations, but I don't believe I would be serving you if I gave you that short-term mindset.
The last thing you need right now is a how-to guide or step-by-step list of how to put band-aids on the problem, because I've said this before and I'm saying it again: overeating and feeling out of control of food are a SYMPTOM of restriction and the ‘Diet Mentality’. As in, the dieting and obsessing over food and labeling foods as “good or bad” “right or wrong”... I believe that THAT is what’s causing you to overeat...or eat more than you want to...or feel out of control of food.
So if you’re interested in getting to the bottom of your struggles while actually being able to ENJOY your holiday season without all that obsession, this episode is for you!
When I met Carley, she felt like she had tried everything under the sun -- and she was so sick of all the black/white, "should"/"shouldn't" rules that were causing her to obsess over food, and eventually cave and binge.
And....she was also (at the time) the YOUNGEST woman to potentially come through the Stressless Eating program.
Desperate to change, feeling like she was a prisoner to food (always thinking about dieting OR simply feeling like a failure for not being able to stick with anything long-term), she found me and booked a call to speak with me about getting help, KNOWING that her problems were getting worse going down the road she was going down.
There was so much information out there, and she was so overwhelmed and tired of thinking about it all, but she knew she had to do SOMETHING radically different. She knew that the problem was in her BRAIN.
In this episode of the podcast, Carley shares the in's and out's of her struggles, her journey, and the steps she took that finally led her to freedom after feeling out of control for her entire life.
But also...why it was so important to do it NOW -- while she was in her 20's -- and not bring it with her into her future.
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar: https://www.StresslessEating.com
On today's episode of the podcast, I invited one of my mentors Jessie Torres to enlighten us with her wisdom.
Jessie’s journey was one filled with child abuse, the loss of a brother to murder, and a marriage that left her (as she describes) completely apathetic, emotionless, and spiritually dead, this left her living a life filled with fear, limitation and the darkness of shame, every single day.
She turned her suffering and pain into purpose and passion, and now she helps men and women all over the world transform their narrative from "victim" to "victor", find the courage to take the small steps they need and peel back the layers of fear, to realize their full potential, and live the big life of their dreams.
We are so fortunate to have Jessie on the podcast, where she shares her story and wisdom, and we talk about everything from eliminating toxic shame to re-defining beauty.
★ Learn About Jessie’s Mission “Spread Bold Love” Here:
www.spreadboldlove.com/
And her purpose to Awaken the Spirit and Unleash Human potential
www.fiercegracetransformation.com
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar:
https://www.StresslessEating.com
Are you freaking out a bit about the holidays and don't want to bring your old habits with you into the new year?
If you're like almost every woman on this planet right now, you're being invited or tempted by yet ANOTHER 30 Day Challenge or short-term (intense) program. Instagram and Facebook and Pinterest and Bloggers and Local Gyms are SCREAMING about it from the roof tops. Or if they aren’t yet, they will be in the next few weeks.
It's SUPER tempting to get woo-ed into the seductive promises of yet ANOTHER 30 day challenge, keto or whole30 experiment, or go back to Weight Watchers for the umpteenth time.
But the truth is:
Those are just short term band-aids that are covering up a BIGGER problem.
All diets work. They ALL work...until they don't anymore.
Things go great for 30 days or 6 weeks, but what happens after that?
That dreaded ‘Bounce Back Effect’ every single time.
Sure you lose some weight, but then you simply gain it back -- usually with interest! It's an UNWINNABLE game.
We are not just talking about the next 30 days of your life here. We are talking about the REST OF YOUR LIFE!
And there is no shame and no judgement, but do you really want to be starting and stopping (and starting and stopping) diets and 30 day challenges for the REST OF YOUR LIFE?
Personally, I want more for you than that, and this entire episode is dedicated to getting you OFF that cycle that is "the definition of insanity".
You DON'T have to bring your old habits and thinking with you into the New Year, but that brain won't change all by itself.
If you’re tired of food and your body RUNNING and RUINING your life (and being THE thing that's holding you back in life), and you’re ready to start getting real results, this is the episode for you.
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar:
https://www.StresslessEating.com
A Jewish woman walked into a church and handed a pastor $500 in an envelope...
No...this was NOT a riddle or a knock-knock joke.
In Part 1 of my faith journey, I shared the story of how I found God and Faith after 35 years without either of those things in my most personal and vulnerable share yet.
It’s the story of how a bacon-loving, Hebrew-speaking, Israel-obsessed Jewish woman walked into a Christian Church, and her life was never the same.
And now...
We are back for Part 2 of "What's God Got To Do With It?", and I've invited my dear friends Kevin and Rea Queen to join in on the conversation.
Kevin is the lead Pastor at Crosspoint Church in Nashville, TN, and Rea is his beautiful wife, partner-in-crime, and a beloved part of the magic that transpires in our church community. Both of them have been instrumental in my faith journey, and they have graciously agreed to come on the podcast and share their truths and speak from their hearts.
No matter where you are in your spiritual journey, this is definitely a conversation that will not only meet you exactly where you are, but it will invite you in to new possibilities of how you see yourself and your life.
In this special episode, we talked about everything from Faith to Self-Love to your relationship with food and your body image through the eyes of God. Join us as we embark on an intimate conversation about a version of self-love like you’ve never heard before.
★ Find out more about Kevin and hear his sermons here:
www.Crosspoint.tv
Not only is this an interesting time of year, but it's also an interesting year!
And because it's a double-whammy of unconventionality, I wanted to take some time to completely change the conversation in your head, but...
...let's talk about all of this BEFORE the holiday season moves into full swing!
So many women think they have to make a choice: either get trapped in the vicious cycle of overeating, over-consuming, and being unhappy with their bodies… OR feeling like they have to go down the diet ‘Rabbit Hole’, restrict, control, and NOT even enjoy their holidays.
But I want to show you a third option: one with more freedom and permission and enjoyment built-in!
Because you shouldn't have to make a choice. And you shouldn't have to sacrifice your HAPPINESS for your HEALTH or your HEALTH for your HAPPINESS.
Every woman deserves to know what life is like when you ditch the restriction, control, punishment, and obsession. And life is too short to live with all the self-judgement, self-criticism, and SHAME!
In today's episode, I've teamed up with my partner-in-crime Laura Lea Bryant to bring you the Holiday Success Guide. Because the holidays should be about way more than just "surviving" - - we want you to actually prosper and move forward and feel amazing about where you end up in the new year. And the best way to do that is by starting NOW!
Head on over to StresslessEating.com/holiday and sign up for the LIVE Stressless Eating Webinar on December 3rd where Laura Lea and I will walk you through the exact 5 Step Game Plan My Female Clients Use To Conquer Emotional Eating, Self-Sabotage, and finally heal themselves from the restrictive the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but without obsessing or spending years in therapy to address it. We are going to lay it all out there for you in 5 easy steps.
★ Sign Up For The Live Webinar December 3rd:
StresslessEating.com/holiday
Lisa had been living in a 20-year food and diet prison, and after the death of her husband, she had spent so many years being a caretaker, she forgot what it looked like to take care of herself!
Diets eluded her, and even though she had hope that there was a better way to go about her relationship with food, her body, and her health, she was almost at that point that she felt helpless. Food and her body was a topic that carried a lot of shame and guilt, and she found herself isolating a lot more.
Knowing she could not go back on another round of the Weight Watchers diet cycle and committed to solving the struggle for good, Lisa scheduled a call with me and took a leap of faith to finally commit to herself, and she began taking steps toward healing her body & mind and reclaiming her life.
But as you'll learn, it's never too late! In this interview she shares how her 62-year old self found life again after losing her husband, ditched the diet mentality, and got her groove back!
Have you ever gone to start a new plan or program, and on the surface you're gung- ho -- ready to take it by the reigns, deeply committed, and hoping (praying!) that this time really IS different -- that this will be the 'the thing' that changes everything for you...
...but secretly in the back of your mind, you're WAITING for it to fail?
Perhaps you're even outright EXPECTING it to fail, because you know in your heart-of-hearts that even though the plan or the program itself might be different....
...you know deep down that YOU haven't changed -- that you haven't gotten your mind, your head, your brain, and your heart aligned in a way that WOULD cause things to be different?
Don’t worry, you are SO not alone. This is one of the most common struggles that women have today when it comes to their relationships with food, their bodies, and themselves.
In today’s episode we are going to get you clear on exactly why this happens (why you lose trust in yourself or in the possibility that it will ever get any better), and how you can finally shift this for good.
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar:
https://www.StresslessEating.com
When it comes to the diet mentality, body shame, disordered eating, and all the internal stress and chaos that comes long side all of that, for so many women this is their deepest held secret.
This struggle with food, their body, the war in their head, the fight in their hearts, and the shame. All that shame about their body, feeling so out of control all the time, feeling like a failure….for so many women, no one even knows what's really going!
★ No one knows how much they are REALLY struggling and suffering.
★ No one knows how much time and energy they are spending thinking about what they should or shouldn’t eat, what they should wear — or what they can wear that fits or doesn’t look tight.
★ No one knows how much time they are thinking about how bad they actually feel.
★ No one knows that they aren’t even fully present in their lives— that even though they are there in the flesh and blood, they aren’t really ‘there’ -- they aren’t fully present.
What’s even worse is: no one is talking about this OR how to get past it. In today’s episode we are not only going to take a look at this overlooked subject, but I also share the “What I know now that I wish I knew then” steps to actually get PAST it.
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar:
https://www.StresslessEating.com
What do you do when one of your best friends in the world also happens to be a leading transformational expert in the world of women's confidence and radical self-love? You get him on the podcast!
I'm excited to share with you one of the most powerful and impactful people in my life: Kevin Donahue. In this interview Kevin shares with us 5 powerful distinctions that are pivotal in helping you create what he calls your "Confidence Blueprint".
I guarantee you've never heard confidence talked about like this before, and Kevin’s insights are sure to challenge you, make you think, and show you a view of the world (and yourself) that you can't unsee once you see it.
★ What's God Got To Do With It?:
https://leanneellington.com/episode16/
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar:
https://www.StresslessEating.com
★ Learn More About Kevin’s Transformational Work With Women:
http://CaptivateHim.com/
I believe that I can tell a lot about a woman's emotional health based on how much time she spends on social media. I know that might sound a little bit weird, but social media has a bigger impact on your mind, brain, self-esteem, and self-image than you might think.
And THAT is the elephant in the room that I bring up on today’s podcast: Facebook and Instagram and other forms of social media (if you allow it) can be used as powerful tools to connect, share parts of your life, and keep your finger on the pulse of the lives of people that matter to you. But if you're not careful, they can easily become a weapon of comparison-itus, unattainable standards, isolation, and loneliness.
On top of that thought, for the women out there that ALREADY struggle with self-esteem, body image, or self-worth, I believe it can be even MORE dangerous. And that’s why I felt called to simply have a conversation about it and take a look at how it is TRULY impacting us.
In this episode of the podcast, I teach you some valuable distinctions that will help you discover if you are the one influencing it, or if it is the one controlling you. I even give you an action plan on how you can take back ownership of your Social Brain and how to ensure that you have a healthy ‘relationship’ with social media.
★ 4 Things With Amy Brown Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/self-sabotage-lasting-change-cost-of-skinny-gratitude/id1442391141
★ The Tale of 2 Cookies: Busting Through ‘The Diet Mentality’ Myth: https://leanneellington.com/episode1/
★ Are You Using Food & Exercise As A Weapon? (4 Tell-Tale Signs That You Are): https://leanneellington.com/episode8/
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar:
https://www.StresslessEating.com
When I met Heather, she felt like she had tried everything in the book -- every diet under the sun -- from Weight Watchers to Paleo to Keto and everything in between. The month before we first spoke, she even called Overeaters Anonymous, hoping THAT would be her answer, but she also knew she didn't want to go through life abstaining from foods, counting points, or obsessing.
Desperate to change, feeling like she was a prisoner to food (always thinking about dieting OR simply feeling like a failure for not being able to stick with anything long-term), she found me and booked a call to speak with me about getting help.
There was so much information out there, and she was so overwhelmed and tired of thinking about it all, but she knew she had to do SOMETHING radically different. She knew that the problem was in her BRAIN.
But there was something else factoring into Heather’s journey: Our phone call happened to take place about two months into the worldwide Pandemic that we are all now navigating. That was not about to stop Heather though!
In this episode of the podcast, Heather shares the in's and out's of her struggles, her journey, and the steps she took that finally led her to freedom after DECADES of feeling out of control.
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar: https://www.StresslessEating.com
We are back for Part Two of The Truth About Your Fat.
Last week we talked about fat and fascia, and how it's so much more than just a food or fitness conversation. We also talked about how not ‘taking care of’ your fat could be the THE thing keeping fat stuck on your body.
This week we are going to talk about what you can actually do about it - - how to influence it, and how to identify which of the 5 "types" of fat you have so you can finally make peace with your body.
Resources:
★ The Truth About Your Fat (Part 1): https://leanneellington.com/episode17/
★ Z-Health Education: https://zhealtheducation.com/
★ Thomas Myers & Anatomy Trains: https://www.anatomytrains.com/
★ Ashley Black: https://www.ashleyblackguru.com/
★ The Fascia Blaster: http://fasciablaster.com/
★ The Cost of Skinny (The Truth About What the Diet Mentality is REALLY Costing You): https://leanneellington.com/episode6/
★ The Tale of 2 Cookies: Busting Through ‘The Diet Mentality’ Myth: https://leanneellington.com/episode1/
★ Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar: https://www.StresslessEating.com
Nowadays fat has a bad rap.
We hate it. We fear it. We name it. We blame it. We shame it.
Some people will do whatever they can to destroy it and eliminate its "wrath" from their lives. But who ever said that fat was ugly, or something to be ashamed of?
And what if you could work WITH it (learn how to actually take care of it on a nervous system level so you can actually get rid of it if that's what you want to do) instead of working AGAINST it?
Since it IS such a prevalent "enemy" in today's world, and since it's not going away anytime soon, we might as well learn about it, right?
Unfortunately no one is talking about that side of it.
What you eat and how you move is PART of the equation, but it doesn’t cover the whole picture. Not even close!
And I truly believe (and science will back me up!) that your health, body, and emotional struggles are simply EFFECTS of something going on ‘higher up’ in your brain and nervous system (SEE ALSO: That system of systems that dictates EVERYTHING!)
And in this episode of the podcast, we are going to talk about a subject matter that baffles most women and causes more shame and sadness than any topic I’ve encountered:
The Truth About YOUR FAT (and what you can actually do about it....
Resources:
The "Heat It" Music Video: https://leanneellington.com/
Huffington Post Article: All About That Bass (3 Great Reasons To Embrace Your Fat): https://www.huffpost.com/entry/all-about-that-bass-3-gre_b_6117880
What's God Got To Do With It?: https://leanneellington.com/episode16
The Cost of Skinny: https://leanneellington.com/episode6/
Watch The Stressless Eating Webinar: https://www.StresslessEating.com
This is one of the most personal episodes I have ever recorded and definitely my most vulnerable share to date. It’s the part of my journey that I don’t typically talk about or share about out loud: My Faith.
Not only is my faith relatively new to me, but it’s particularly vulnerable for me because I feel like faith CAN be one of those taboo topics. It gets batched into conversations about religion or even politics and can have connotations or associations and meanings that might not be intended.
For purposes of this podcast and my own definitions, for me, this is a story and a tale about FAITH, and to me that simply means believing in something that I cannot see or taste or touch or feel or experience with my human senses. Faith is something i didn’t have until recently and it’s something i didn’t even know that I didn’t have in the first place...or that I could have.
And in this episode of the Stressless Eating Podcast, I share the unconventional tales and journey that caused this bacon-loving, hebrew-speaking Jewish woman to suddenly walk into a church and seek out God, having no idea the crazy twists and turns and miracles that would abound.
Do you ever wonder why time and time again you set a goal, but you cannot seem to reach it? Or maybe you fall in the category of "I know what to do, but I can't get myself to do it"?
It's super-tempting to just want to do SOMETHING -- to not let your circumstances get worse or to keep feeling like a failure when it comes to your goals.
And that’s why most women end up impulsively committing to a new diet, attempting Whole30 or Keto, or going back to Weight Watchers for the umpteenth time….
There's no judgement. I totally get it. I used to do the very same thing all the time!
But here's what I can tell you with 1000% certainty:
It’s an unwinnable game.
Because the truth is:
All things work. They ALL work...until they don't anymore.
Things go great for 30 days or a few weeks, but what happens after that?
That dreaded ‘Bounce Back Effect’ every single time.
Sure you lose some weight, gain some confidence, and feel good for a while. But then you simply gain it back (or have to GIVE it back) -- usually with interest!
It exhausts you. It sucks the life out of you.
And the worst part? It doesn’t even work!
Not in the long term at least...
Because as soon as you go “off” whatever ‘wagon’ you’ve committed to (and you ALWAYS eventually go off it, because who can live like that forever?)...
Tendencies are that we go WAAAAY off.
And that’s why it FEELS like your goals keep failing you.
But your GOALS are not the problem in this equation. It's how you're THINKING about your goals that's keeping you stuck on this roller coaster.
So are you ready to stop that cycle in its tracks?
Laura Lea Bryant is back on the Stressless Eating Podcast to help me shed some light on this frustrating topic.
Susan had been living in a 40-year food and diet prison, and she didn't know how to get out. Diets eluded her, and even though she had hope that there was a better way to go about her relationship with food, her body, and her health, she was almost at that point that she felt helpless. Food and her body was a topic that carried a lot of shame and guilt. And she had almost completely convinced herself that this was just the way things were going to be.
Her relationship with herself and those around her was suffering which added another level of guilt caused by not showing up as the woman, wife, mom, and therapist that she knew wanted to be.
Feeling she had tried everything under the sun, Susan scheduled a call with me and took a leap of faith to finally commit to herself. Accepting that the road to peace, love and happiness with herself was a long term game, she began taking steps toward healing her body & mind and reclaiming her life.
But as you'll learn, it's never too late! In this interview she shares how her 54-year old therapist self got her life back, took back her power, and broke free from a 40-year food and dieting PRISON!
Back when I owned my Fitness studio for women, I used to offer this thing called a "28 Day Holiday Body Challenge".
Every single year, 50 or so women (that would otherwise be gaining weight during that tricky time between Halloween and New Year's) would sign up to work with me while I guided them through the process of "dropping pounds fast" or "getting in your skinny jeans by New Years" or "getting rid of that muffin top" (or whatever words I was using at the time.)
It wasn't rocket science:
I would put them on a calorie-restricted meal plan, have them come to my studio (at least) 3 days per week to work out, and then strategically use the holidays (like Thanksgiving Day or Christmas Day) as a "cheat day".
And of course (as you do when you're in "weight loss challenge" mode), we took pictures, measurements, and body fat percentages to measure their progress.
As you can probably imagine pounds were dropped. Physiques were chiseled. And body-shaping happened right before my very eyes.
It ALL worked until it didn't anymore.
Things were great for 30 days or 6 weeks, but what happened after that?
Well that's the part that my own shame and fear of failure didn't allow myself to share for a long time.
Because the truth is, come January 1st, that dreaded ‘Bounceback Effect’ was already in full force:
- They had grown TIRED of seeking out the energy to monitor, count, measure, and track every morsel of food that touched their lips.
- Their bodies were exhausted, sore, over trained, and in need of some major recovery after the (literal and metaphorical) sprint they just participated in.
- Their mojo was shot! They spent all that time and energy using their limited stores of willpower and motivation to keep things going for those few weeks.
Looking back I know exactly why it happened too. We only made over PART of them.
We didn’t do what needed to be done on the INSIDE: the head work, addressing the problem, and creating actual brain-change.
We never addressed the CAUSE of their struggles, their RELATIONSHIP with food, or their RELATIONSHIP with their body.
We just essentially threw another diet, another plan, and another short-term band-aid at it.
What if instead of committing to ANOTHER diet or ANOTHER 'fix' you:
- first identified what is clearly NOT working?
- simply created an awareness of what NOT to do more of -- the road NOT to keep going down?
- simply started becoming an 'observer' instead of a 'doer' or 'action-taker'?
Most WON'T do this. Most women will go start looking for the next diet, the next game of "control myself", the next action item. But those that DO -- those that stop the 'definition of insanity' (doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results)...they'll find that their journey to healing and to finally ENDING the suffering and struggling can finally begin!
So let's talk about this, shall we? Instead of making it so hard, so complex, let's talk about making it EASIER!
As in, take the time and energy ONE time to learn the language of stressless eating; a language that gets easier the more you practice it and you get better at it the more you practice it so it just becomes you... VS dieting that gets HARDER and you get WORSE at it.
Let's talk about THAT kind of thinking for a change.
I get asked all the time by stressed out dieters and women that are SICK of thinking about food:
They ask me, Leanne, "Does it ever get easier?"
The answer is Yes AND No depending how you look at it:
Here are a couple of the ways it looks like to practice hard:
★ CONTROL: This includes restriction, deprivation, punishment, persuasion, counting, weighing, measuring, micro-managing, obsession.
★ PAIN: This means physical, mental, or emotional pain. Practicing anything that is soul-sucking, energy-robbing, smile-stealing, stress-inducing, or that you outright do not like or do not enjoy.
★ EXTREMISM: This means all the black/white, all in/all out mentalities, using language labeling things as "good/bad", "wrong/right", "should/shouldn't", "always/never", or committing to anything that causes you to sacrifice your happiness, peace of mind, or freedom for results.
And here are some of the ways it looks like to practice ease:
★ FREEDOM: This is about feeling like we have a choice; an abundance of choices. Feeling like we have influence over ourselves and our behaviors (rather than THEM controlling US). Feeling FREE; not chained to or confined by rules and regulations and especially diets.
★ CONSISTENCY: If you're not able to get yourself to do it consistently, you'll never get the 'returns'. You're better off working in MINIMUMS and doing things consistently, rather than working in MAXIMUMS and doing it sporadically. Consistency is the key. Consistency over intensity all day every day. Which is the opposite of most diets.
★ SUSTAINABILITY: Anything that we can see ourselves doing not just a week from now...but 1, 3, 12 months from now. Anything that doesn't fit in this category is bound to be a time-limited 'thing' that will eventually get HARDER the more we practice it.
This is how you practice ease. And if you’re anything like me (and I was dieting my whole life), this is not the stuff that usually comes alongside dieting. And that’s why you need a whole new way of thinking which again might seem foreign to a lot of women listening.
And yes again...you can play the diet game over and over again and never break the cycle, or you can do what we are doing right here and now which is to CHANGE YOUR THINKING so you can get different results. But if you want to DO differently, you must THINK differently.
Most WON'T do this. Most women will go start looking for the next diet, the next game of "control myself", the next action item. But those that DO, those that stop the 'definition of insanity' (doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results) they'll find that their journey to healing and to finally ENDING the suffering and struggling can finally begin!
A few weeks ago, a dear friend of mine double-dog dared me to enter into the Miss Tennessee for America beauty pageant.
Among other reasons, he knew that because it was SO far outside my comfort zone, there was a massive breakthrough waiting for me on the other side of it. But as he said to me that day, I had to get “on the court” in order to find it.
My immediate reaction was "No way! Are you kidding me? Me? Enter into a beauty pageant?"
The voices in my head immediate said:
"You're too old!"
"You're not a size 2!"
“You're too much [fill-in-the-blank] or not enough [fill-in-the-blank]!"
"You know nothing about pageants!"
And then a higher voice said:
"That's exactly why you need to do it Leanne! This is your chance to re-define (and help others re-define) what beauty IS and what it is NOT -- that beauty doesn't have to mean a certain shape, a certain age, a certain size… that beauty is not a SEEING, it's a BEING."
So what did I do? At the ripe ol' age of 37, with no experience, no knowledge, and not a clue about anything beauty-pageant-related, I signed up to compete less than 2 weeks out.
⭐️ It was the EPITOME of me facing my own deepest fears, insecurities, and comparison-itus tendencies.
⭐️ It was my own self-image and body-image experiment to break through my own self-limiting beliefs.
⭐️ It was an experience I'm honestly still processing, and really just figuring out how to share right now.
In this episode of the podcast, I share the details of how everything went down, but in the meantime, I’ll just summarize my experiences by saying this:
YOU get to say who you ARE and who you are NOT.
If you want to do ANYTHING, the only thing stopping you are those voices in your head saying you CAN'T or saying you WON'T.
Four weeks ago, I thought you had to be a 'skinny mini' or in your 20's be in a beauty pageant, but after my experience , I think it's safe to say that's just not the case.
And just in case you're wondering, spoiler alert: this 'non-beauty-pageant gal' was chosen as:
⭐️Placed 3rd Runner Up for the State of Tennessee
⭐️Was voted on to be an Ambassador for The Miss for America Organization
⭐️Am The Official "Miss East Nashville"
Never say never. Because you might just surprise yourself. I sure did! ❤️
Listen to the full episode of the podcast where I go through the in’s and outs of my experience entering a beauty pageant!
Let’s be honest:
Your inner critic can be brutal.
And after a while, it can wear you down.
We all have that version of ourselves that we wish would just go away.
The version that preys on our insecurities, takes us away from our goals, and generally makes us feel not so nice.
I call that your Inner-Bitch.
We’ve talked a lot about (what I call) the weight of the weight. There’s 4 of them in total, and we briefly touched on #2 in another episode: the weight of walking around with your Inner bitch running the show.
Specifically....
The 'weight' of harsh judgements, self-criticism, guilt, shame, blame, comparison-itus, and perfectionism that lives in our Self-Image & Self-Talk.
(AND the EMOTION that typically comes alongside food...and it doesn’t have to)
If you have a voice in your head :
- That voice judging you based on what or how much you do or don’t eat…
- That voice telling you that “this is just how you are” or “this is how you’ll always be”
- That inner-critic whispering in your ear all the things you are NOT doing, reminding you of what you DON’T like about yourself, or all the ways you’re FAILING.
- That voice telling you you’re not enough– that you’ll never skinny enough, successful enough, pretty enough, good enough – enough period.
I call that your inner Bitch, and THAT is the real weight that needs to be ditched. You’ve got to stop feeding her.
In last week’s episode of the podcast, I told you all about the 5 Ingredients that (I wholeheartedly believe) comprise your Self-Image.
I definitely invite all women to go define these ingredients for themselves, because we all have our own unique recipe.
As in: MY recipe won’t work for you, and YOURS won’t work for me.. We all need our own.
But before I can get into the in’s and outs of THAT with my clients, I believe it’s really important that they understand what's STANDING IN THEIR WAY from having a powerful and loving and confident Self-Image.
And that’s what this episode is dedicated to helping you discover: What’s standing in your way (and what to do about it).
So without further ado...
How to ditch YOUR Inner Bitch in 5 Easy Steps:
Step #1. Ditch the Guilt
Guilt says: “I ate a cookie. That act or sin was "bad"wrong or unhealthy”.” (The word guilt literally means "sin/crime".)
Guilt and shame are reactions on the same continuum. They share the same data or"the account of what actually happened": (I ate the cookie in this example.). They simply entail different summaries, meanings, or translations of that event.
Are you calling food, fat, calories, or carbs bad or good? Is it healthy or unhealthy? Should or shouldn't. Again these hard and fast rules about food and the diet mentality are almost always going to cause guilt as a by product. Be super mindful of your language and where guilt is becoming a weapon against yourself.
And this is just another example where it’s not the food that’s the problem -- it’s who you’re being while you’re eating... and the framework and ‘diet mentality’ that’s causing it. And of course I’m talking about food, but it’s true with anything.
Step #2. Ditch the Shame.
Shame is feeling bad about who you ARE based on what you did. Calling yourself names, living in an emotional home where you’re ashamed of who you are because of something that you did.
Eating that cupcake does not mean that you are ‘weak-willed’ or a ‘self-sabotager’. In fact nothing about what you do or don’t do has to mean anything about who you are as a person, but that’s the part that we are walking around not even realizing.
Here’s the reality, I’m not telling you that you need to love all of your decisions or actions, but you don’t need to confuse your actions with who you are either. You also don’t need to apologize for how you feel, and you certainly don’t need to apologize for your past, hide yourself, disgrace yourself, or shame yourself for what you did or didn’t do.
Step #3. Ditch the Blame
Blame can show up in a number of ways. Whether it's pinning faults on yourself, someone else, or something else, it doesn't actually change or solve anything and it essentially gives up ownership of your life. It also keeps you focusing on the past or focusing on the problem itself. (and you know we create more of what we focus on)
The only way to truly own your life is to take RADICAL ownership and responsibility for it -- but notice I didn’t say blame. Sometimes things happen and there is no logical explanation, and it doesn’t need to be anyone’s fault per se -- it could just be something that happened -- even if we don’t like it.
Next time you are looking to assign blame to someone or something, ask yourself: “Will this really change anything?”. Then focus on what you CAN influence, what you CAN do about the situation, and how you DO want to feel.
Step #4. Ditch the Comparison
Compare literally means ‘to liken or rival’. Let’s nip this one in the butt, shall we? There is no one like you, never has been, and never will be. There is no competition or fight or rivalry. And if there is one –it’s not real….at least it doesn't have to be. It's in your head – – and most likely it is not serving you.
They say comparison is the thief of joy, and I believe this couldn't be more true. Comparison can be a valuable tool. It can help us create distinctions in our mind, figure out our own preferences, and generally help us detect apples from oranges. BUt...Comparison can also be used as a weapon to judge, shame, and critique ourselves (and others). Comparison to what you shoulda, woulda, or coulda done…or where you should be, would be, or could be. It can easily turn someone, something, or some experience into a negative or harmful encounter if you are not aware.
What if you just started owning the fact that you are uniquely you and you’re not meant to be a carbon copy of someone else? What if you noticed the differences you share between yourself and someone else, but didn’t use it as a weapon to judge yourself, critique yourself, or shame yourself? What if you started with self-acceptance first, comparison second?
We are wired to make comparisons, judgments, and associations. Saying not to do so isn’t realistic. But know who. what, why and how you are comparing. If it is not serving you and your happiness, I suggest you own it, or it will most certainly own you.
Step #5. Ditch the Perfectionism
Call it what you want. Perfectionism, control, micro-managing everything you do or say. If it serves you, that’s great. Truth is I’ve yet to meet a woman that doesn’t drive herself crazy over it.
I refer to perfectionism as a ‘losing game’, because it’s this unattainable thing, and it’s really just an attempt at control. Most people think it’s the highest standard, but my mentor pointed out to me that it’s the LOWEST standard... because it’s unattainable!
It’s perfectly natural to desire that certain things happen in a certain way, but when we create requirements that everything happens according to plan (requirements to be happy, to feel successful, to feel good about ourselves), that’s when it backfires. And it’s only because we will never truly be able to control everything and everyone in our lives or ourselves. It’s an impossibility. But we do have the power to INFLUENCE ourselves and our lives to our greatest abilities. Influence what we can and release what we can’t.
Bottom line, if you can identify where you are talking to yourself about yourself through the eyes of guilt, shame, blame, comparison-itus, or perfectionism and start talking to yourself like you with acceptance, compassion, and understanding, your life is going to completely change.
I know it’s simple (not easy), and I’ll be the first to admit that this isn’t the thing that changes overnight without serious commitment and a proven strategy and plan, but I wouldn't be who I am if I didn't at least help you see what the REAL problem is.
Check out the full episode of the podcast where I go into detail on these 5 steps and help you learn how to implement them for yourself.
Back in the day, before I lost all that weight and made over my body….AND Long before I was doing what I do now, I was a high-achieving woman, highly-motivated, lady on a mission that just wanted to feel beautiful, feel proud of my life and my accomplishments, and simply be HAPPY!
So I went and did what any woman would do with (a lot) of weight to lose, a hope, and a dream:
★ I went on every diet, plan, and program I could imagine.
★ I hired coaches, joined masterminds, and attended retreats and events.
★ I even went back to therapy!
And it worked…to an extent.
But fast forward to the part where I ‘had it all’ – to the part in the story where I SHOULD have been happy and content.
As you’ve learned from me sharing bits and pieces of my journey, you know that that’s not how the story went down AT ALL.
In reality, even AFTER I lost one-third of my body weight, built a successful business, and checked off all those proverbial ‘tick-boxes’ I thought I needed to be happy…
I was NOT happy.
Because Self-Love has a unique recipe. It has its own magical ingredients.
I tried skipping steps!
I tried cutting corners and fast-forwarding through the process. I tried leaving out ingredients.
And I believe that when the recipe is crafted (and then followed),(which is exactly what I do with all of my Stressless Eating clients), it hands-down-every-time brings YOU ( the ‘chef’ of this recipe I speak of) from feeling:
Okay so let’s talk about the 5 Ingredients (Goggles) Of Your Self-Image:
Ingredient #1: Self-Care: And what i mean by that is Figuring out what it would take for you to care for yourself (as a verb and a noun) physically, mentally, socially/emotionally, spiritually, relationally….all of it?
So...that being said….Do you truly feel like you know how to take CARE of yourself?
I have found that most women don't.
They might know how to 'get fit' or 'get healthy' for a little while, but after adversity strikes they go right back to their default.
Or maybe you know how to take care of yourself PERSONALLY, but on the mental and emotional levels, you feel like you need some help?
Ingredient #2: Self-Acceptance: Figuring out what it would look like (and feel like) for you to fully accept yourself without exception. Figuring out how to accept WHO you are and WHERE you are (without all that shame, blame, guilt, comparison, and perfectionism).
There’s actually few sides to this. The first side is one that isn't rocket science and it’s not THAT different than what a lot of the self love messages out there are sharing.
And that's….What it would feel like for you to fully accept yourself without exception?
I mean FULLY accept yourself-- 'warts' and all. Not when you lose the weight or make more money. I mean...right now.
Ingredient #3: Self-Worth: Understanding what you are ‘weighing’, what you are measuring, and the 'currency' that you are living your life (judging yourself) by.
What are you 'weighing' and what are you measuring?
Are you judging yourself 24 hours a day based on the size of your jeans, your career status, or the number of 'likes' you got on Facebook?
Or are YOU defining and setting the 'currency' that you want to be measuring yourself by and working towards THAT?
Ingredient #4 Self-Esteem: Understanding the ‘know, like, and trust’ factor of yourself.
Do you know, like, and trust yourself?
Most women are walking around feeling very UNtrusting of themselves.
Because somewhere along the lines they stopped believing themselves when they made promises to themselves.
Ingredient #5: Self-Endorsement: Figuring out who you are (and how you feel about yourself) regardless of what anyone else thinks.
Here's the truth:
It’s not practical (or even possible) for any woman to “not care” what other people think about her. Our brains are WIRED to care -- especially the FEMALE brain! We are WIRED to actively notice other people's opinions and judgments MORE than the male brain (I'll share more about this specific part of the brain in another episode)...
But here's what IS possible:
It's possible to figure out what it would take for YOU to value your own opinion of yourself more so (even just a little bit more so) than someone else’s opinion of you.
This is the recipe to your FREEDOM and happiness and peace of mind. And at the end of the day -- that’s what you want! You might think you want to lose weight or be smaller or attract a better mate or make more money or whatever….but I promise you, what you really want is how you think you’ll feel if you get those things. But if you don’t address the self image and body image that’s causing you to think and act and feel and behave the way you are right now…..you’ll always end up back where you are.
That’s why I truly believe that a brain based approach and a self image solution is the only pathway to permanent transformation -- not just short term change.
And in this episode I’m going to detail the 5 ingredients to the recipe that you need to create true and lasting change in YOUR life.
Diet after diet had left Jenna feeling hopeless and in a dark place. Food was a topic that carried a lot of shame and guilt. And she had almost completely convinced herself that this was just the way things were going to be. She believed the scale was just going to keep increasing while her control, happiness and self worth continued to decrease.
Her relationship with herself and those around her was suffering which added another level of guilt caused by not showing up as who she wanted to be.
Feeling she had tried everything in the book, Jenna scheduled a call with me and took a leap of faith to finally commit to herself. Accepting that the road to peace, love and happiness with herself was a long term game, she began taking steps toward healing her body & mind and reclaiming her life.
In this interview she shares her amazing journey, her hesitations, her radical transformation, and what enabled her to finally set herself free.
I’ve been on diets and weight loss programs since the age of 7.
I got really good at outsmarting whatever plan or program I was on.
I got really good at “fake it till you make it” and motivational pump-me-ups.
I got really good at tricking the scale, tricking my stomach, and tricking my mind.
I got really good at living my life hungry, tired, miserable and restricted.
Yup I mastered them alright, but there was a major cost.
When it came to social interactions, instead of getting excited about connecting with people I love, I was getting STRESSED about what to eat or how my body appeared when I was with them.
Instead of engaging and focusing in on the conversations or connections at hand, I was focusing on what I ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ eat….and if I should get dessert or not!
So yea, I had motivation, discipline, and willpower in-check.
And I was indeed able to sculpt that rockin’ body, toned tushy, and ‘healthy lifestyle’ that I always dreamed of having.
But...
Food was the boss of me.
I was a slave to my brutal workout routine to ensure that I didn’t gain anything back.
Because no matter how motivated or disciplined I got myself to be on a day to day basis, food and exercise still ruled my every move.
If you have (what I call) a Fat Head sitting on top of your body, you will always be carrying around the weight of the weight.
Most women think they have a weight ‘problem’ or a food ‘problem’ or a laziness ‘problem’, but I don’t believe that any of those things are the problem.
Women are indeed walking around with a weight ‘problem’, but it’s the weight of the weight that is weighing them down.
THAT is the weight that is truly weighing you down and KEEPING you on this rollercoaster of a ride with your body.
So how can you tell if you’re using food and exercise as a tool to get yourself healthy? Or if you’re using it as a weapon: a weapon of punishment, control, restriction, or shame.
There’s 4 different signs and symptoms that I talk about with my clients, and we are going to talk about all of them.
Symptom #1 : You use food as a Weapon of Mass Control.
When your ‘diet brain’ is the one calling the shots, it’s only natural that it might start to feel like food controls YOU more than you control IT.
And this is when food has the tendency to become a means for you to control yourself, compare yourself, or judge yourself.
Symptom #2 : You use your body as a Weapon of Mass Control.
Again when your default brain is the one in charge, you might feel like your body controls YOU more than you control IT – as in, you feel like a prisoner in your own body or a prisoner to your weight or size.
And this is when you might have the tendency to use your body to control yourself, compare yourself, or judge yourself….or control, compare, and judge your body.
Symptom #3 : You walk around feeling weighed down by whatever plan or program you are (or aren’t) following.
If your gameplan is sucking the fun out of your life and bogging you down, chances are you are never going to stick with it, and it’s going to end up being another short term band-aid and you’ll end up putting it in the category of “great here’s another thing I tried that didn’t work for me”.
Symptom #4 : You’re waiting for the weight to go live your life the way you really want to.
Thinking things like “when I lose the weight then I’ll wear that, commit to that, feel that way, be [successful/happy/loved/fill-in-the-blank]”, that’s a sign that your Fat Head is doing the talking.
I’m not saying not to want more for your future (by all means, aim high!). But if future-thinking is causing you to miss out on your life right now, there’s a good chance you’re waiting for the weight to live your best life.
Your life is happening right now. If you spend all your time living, worrying, or projecting into the future, you’re going to miss out on your life. Don’t wait for the weight to start living your life as your most beautiful, powerful, and confident self. Because I promise you: you don’t have to.
You’re allowed to want more for yourself. I say go make those changes, set those goals, and take your life to the next level.
But don’t turn into your own internal super-bitch just to get there.
And know when you are using food, your body, or the experience itself as a weapon against yourself rather than a tool of freedom.
Hopefully today’s episode gave you the insight YOU needed to figure out what that looks like for you, and whatever you do, don’t give up on your freedom.
I used to think that I HAD to live in that diet prison -- filled with all that control and shame and stress. But there is a better way, I promise you that-- so don’t give up on carving out your own freedom. Don’t believe the lie that this is how you have to live! Because you were meant for SO. much. more.
In this episode of Stressless Eating we talk about four tell-tale signs to help you discover if you too are using food & exercise as a weapon AND if so, how you can change that!
Do you struggle with overeating?
Do you feel stuck on that all-or-nothing Diet 'Roller Coaster'?
Well don't worry, you are SO not alone! Do you know how many women I talk to that are in exactly the same 'place'?
Hopping from one diet to the next -- knowing in their heart-of-hearts that it might have a different name or different 'rules', but it's just another version of the SAME thing:
Restriction. Micromanaging what you eat or how much you exercise. Relying on willpower and motivation to get you through it. And OBSESSION! Always thinking about food or your body or your weight!
It's friggin' exhausting!
Overeating comes in many shapes and sizes:
Whatever form it comes in, it’s REALLY hard on us — mind, body, spirit, and mojo.
I’m sure you’ve noticed this too, right?
★ It causes us to feel bad physically — whether it’s the discomfort of eating too much or the lethargy we get when we are in a ‘food coma’, it’s actually really hard on our bodies.
★ It causes us to feel bad about OURSELVES — feeling powerless to control ourselves over food, feeling like a failure, or feeling frustrated because even though we are smart and accomplished and amazing in so many ways, this food ‘thing’ still isn’t in-check.
★ It causes us to show up differently in our lives — whether that’s in our relationships because we are ashamed of how we look or feel, our ability to feel like a good ‘role model’ to our family, children, co-workers, friends etc.
So why do we do it?
Here’s the thing: we all have our different cause-and-effect cycle for overeating, so what I’m going to do is simply share the 3 most common ones that came up in my life and the most common ones I see in my clients’ lives.
1) The Diet Mentality.
Whenever we are playing the game of “eat less, move more” or the game of control, restriction, deprivation, and obsession or the game of “can/can’t have that”, “should/shouldn’t eat that”, or “good/bad, wrong/right” foods…it’s only a matter of time before we can’t take it any longer.
2) If you still have an EMOTIONAL or STRESSFUL relationship with food.
When you have an emotional relationship with food, it doesn’t matter what LOGICAL plan you have about what you are going to eat, because your EMOTIONS will eventually win out.
It’s not your fault. There’s nothing wrong with you if you have an emotional relationship with food. It’s a brain ‘thing’ — a connection that got created that can be re-wired any time.
3) You haven’t ever fully COMMITTED to transforming your relationship with food.
So when it comes to ending this struggle and suffering around food, you cannot dabble. This is not something that goes away on it’s own and it doesn’t fix itself.
So…. Why do we overeat? Why do we commit to something and then ruin it by ditching our plans….and again over eat, over indulge, over consume?
The solution does not live in another diet, program, or plan. (And trust me: I tried to out-diet and out-will my food struggles and sugar addictions for DECADES!)
Because...
When you change what you're seeing and what you're saying (and yes! You also need a better STRATEGY!)...
THAT is when the diet madness can finally come to an end, and the real healing can begin.
Then (and only then) can you finally be free.
And in this episode I’m going to take you through the ins and outs of all of this to help you figure out why you can’t stop overeating.
Rewind about 12 years ago…
My anesthesiologist has me counting backwards from 100 as the surgical team gets ready to go in microscopically and remove the calcified, hardened disc fluid that had been sitting on my nerves for the past 8 months.
A procedure I endearingly call, the Cost of Skinny…
I was so focused on getting ‘skinny’ or ‘lean’ or ‘toned’ or ‘hot’ or whatever words ruled my brain at the time, that I didn’t pay attention or tune in to what my body needed and what my body was screaming at me to do.
If only I had listened to the screams from my body to “slow down!”, “chill out!”, “and while you’re at it, go eat a friggen sandwich Leanne!”, maybe it could have all been avoided.
But I didn’t care! I just wanted to be skinny and beautiful. And no back pain or injury or pesky flare-up was gonna stop me!
Until it finally did stop me.
It didn’t just stop me—it landed me on an operating table at Cleveland Metro for major spine surgery at the ripe ol’ age of 25.
But that was just the tip of the iceberg.
And it certainly was not the ONLY Cost of Skinny…
When I started looking back at my life, I realized that decades of the “Diet Mentality’ and all the self-loathing that came alongside it had a cost that I didn’t even know to look for — that I didn’t even know to try to avoid.
★ A Food Prison that had me chained to the handcuffs of restriction, deprivation, control, and OBSESSING over every morsel of food that touched my lips…or (when I couldn’t possibly take it any longer) veering over to the OPPOSITE side: care-free abandonment, eating everything in sight, feeding my sugar addictions, and using food to comfort, distract, or numb myself. (And then of course the cascade of guilt, shame, and self-loathing that would follow suit).
★ A Body Prison where I felt like I was walking around in a body that didn’t reflect the woman I really was — like the outsides didn’t match the insides — but that I felt powerless to change. A prison of wearing ‘fat clothes’, covering my body with cardigans, and refusing to wear shorts or tank tops (or god forbid be seen in a bathing suit!) even when it was 95 degrees outside. Not to mention allowing my body to BE the barrier that kept me from doing what I wanted to do, feeling how I wanted to feel, and showing up as the version of myself that I really was…but I just couldn’t access her.
★ A Shame Prison where I was outright ashamed that (after decades on this planet) I was STILL struggling with food, still struggling with my body, and still on this up-and-down roller coaster. I felt like a fraud — like if anyone ever “found me out” they would see how crazy or broken I really was. And of course there was the shame that followed me around every single day because of the identity that I had created about my struggles — that I WAS my body, that I WAS my addictions, that I WAS a failure.
And of course…
★ A ‘Fat Head’ that (no matter how much weight I lost or how ‘successful’ I became) my Self-Image saw me through goggles seeing me as ‘fat’, ‘unloveable’, a ‘failure’, ’embarrassing’, and that I would never be enough — skinny enough, successful enough, enough period.
And all of this left me in a prison of pain, disconnection, and loneliness.
Physically. Mentally. Emotionally.
And in those moments of clarity, that’s when I realized:
“Whoa! This is not unique to ME!”
Every woman that feels stuck on the diet and weight loss Roller Coaster is paying their own Cost of Skinny too!
And in this episode of the Stressless Eating Podcast we get into the in’s and out’s of how to avoid YOUR ‘Cost of Skinny’ in your own journey.
One of the biggest myths out there in the Women’s Health ‘world’ is this idea that you should get ‘good’ at dieting.
One of the biggest myths out there in the Women’s Health ‘world’ is this idea that you should get ‘good’ at dieting.
I can’t even tell you how many women I speak with that WISH that they simply had more willpower or discipline or perseverance to stick with their diet… and that if they could just figure out how to make THOSE things show up for them, all would be well, and the problem would be solved.
I used to think the SAME THING about my own struggles with my weight and my own inability to stick with whatever the ‘diet of the month’ I promised myself I would follow through on.
And I came to learn that it was only because I was focusing on the WRONG thing. In fact, I was actually making WORSE!
Because willpower and motivation and the ability to ‘grit’ my way through yet another unsustainable diet, were NOT my problems.
The REAL problem was this idea in my head that actually WANTED to ‘get good’ at dieting…or to be a better ‘dieter’.
THAT was the problem. It was that ‘Diet Mentality’ that was keeping me stuck, and the fact that I was trying to become MORE skillful in a way of thinking that was setting me up to LOSE and setting me up to FAIL…well that was just the icing on the cake.
And in this episode of the Stressless Eating Podcast, we are going to explore the in’s and out’s of the ‘Diet Mentality’ Myth….
I’m a BIG FAN of therapy, therapeutic modalites, and getting supported while you work through struggles, traumas, and life’s curve balls.
But when it comes to the struggles that we as women face with our bodies, food, and finding the love (and like) within ourselves, I’ve found that most (not all) therapy-based approaches tend to fall short.
And this wasn’t just the case in my own experiences either. I talk to A LOT of women each week, and most of them have tried every thing under the sun (diets, plans, programs, etc) to address their struggles with their health or with their weight.
But a staggering number of them also went to therapy, hoping that this would solve their struggles, and even though a lot of them gained better understanding of their struggles or were able to address the cause of emotional wounds or why old traumas were still impacting them…
…the reason they were talking to me in the present day is because they STILL didn’t have access to the SOLUTION to move them PAST their struggles.
Awareness is amazing! It’s crazy-powerful, and without it, we wouldn’t be able to make the massive breakthroughs that lead to those life-altering shifts. I’d even go as far as saying that awareness is where transformation HAS to start…
But awareness without a better STRATEGY — without a SOLUTION that addresses the actual root cause of the problem…
And in this episode of the podcast, we take a look at why most therapy doesn't work for food and body struggles and what actually does!
Welcome to the Stressless Eating Podcast where we help diet-obsessed and food-crazed women break themselves out of the food and body prison, end the dieting madness, and take control of their health for good. I'm your host Leanne Ellington, and this podcast is about answering one question: how can YOU heal your relationship with food and your body, and take a practical approach to this whole self love journey....but without all that restriction, obsession, and shame...and without needing years of ‘therapy’ to do so. If you want to know the answer, you're in the right place. All this information is 100% free so please subscribe to and review our podcast.
After being stuck on the diet roller coaster for decades, Suzanne thought she was just “one of those people” that would have to live like this forever.
Her life was filled with lots of success and external accomplishments, but deep down she was living in sadness, disappointment, and feeling like she knew there was so much more to life but just didn’t know how to break the vicious cycle.
And on top of the food, body, and self-rejection prison that she felt powerless to escape from, it kept her from putting herself out there to find true love, knowing that if she didn’t find it in herself FIRST, she would never be able to full receive it from another.
Apprehensive but knowing something had to change, Suzanne booked a call with me. She wasn’t sure if anything could help her at this point, but flip flopping between being an extreme dieter to an extreme binge-eater was no longer a way she wanted to live. So she got started in Stressless Eating.
In this interview she shares her journey, her struggles, her shifts, and what enabled HER to finally forgive herself, love herself, and set herself free.
Laura Lea Bryant is a certified holistic chef based out of her hometown of Nashville, TN. LL Balanced is about taking the stress out of cooking and proving that ‘healthy’ can mean delicious, affordable, and family-friendly.
Leanne and Laura Lea are on a mission to help women heal their relationship with food (and themselves), and in this episode they dive into the nitty gritty details of how they are helping women all over the world make peace with food AND with their kitchens.
In this episode of the podcast they take a deep-dive into the world of women’s bodies, their relationship with food, self-esteem, and the controversial topic of Social Media.
Have you ever gone to start a new plan or program, and on the surface you’re gung- ho — ready to take it by the reigns, deeply committed, and hoping (praying!) that this time really IS different — that this will the ‘the thing’ that changes everything for you…
…but secretly in the back of your mind, you’re WAITING for it to fail? Perhaps you’re even outright EXPECTING it to fail, because you know in your heart-of-hearts that even though the plan or the program itself might be different….
…you know deep down that YOU haven’t changed — that you haven’t gotten your mind, your head, your brain, and your heart aligned in a way that WOULD cause things to be different?
I see this happening ALL the time. Heck , it's exactly how I used to feel each time I started out some new plan or method that (eventually) I just STOPPED talking about it or telling anyone altogether.
And in this episode of the Podcast we are going to talk about why this REALLY happens, how to earn back your own trust, and how to never become the "Girl Who Cried Wolf" ever again.