Life Repurposed: Recent Episodes
Michelle Rayburn
On Life Repurposed you’ll find practical biblical wisdom for everyday living and creative inspiration with your host Michelle Rayburn. Grow your faith, improve your relationships, discover your purpose, and reach your goals with topics to encourage you to find hope amid the trashy stuff of life.
Are you ready to let go of the mental clutter that is affecting your spiritual well-being? The influences come from outside of us—social media, arguments, political angst, and busyness—but how we allow it to influence our spiritual health is up to us. Perhaps it’s time for spiritual minimalism.
In today’s podcast episode, Michelle discussed the transformative power of letting go of mind clutter and how it can lead to a more meaningful midlife. As life tends to become increasingly complicated, especially around midlife, simplifying both our physical and spiritual spaces can pave the way for clarity, growth, and inner peace.
Time to Redefine
Outdated beliefs, spiritual baggage, and unhelpful thought patterns can weigh us down. Midlife presents an opportune moment to reflect and redefine what genuinely matters, allowing us to shed the excess and embrace a faith focused on love, compassion, and true spiritual alignment.
It doesn’t mean abandoning your core faith. It means extracting it from the stuff that doesn’t belong there. And no, we don’t need to donate this to charity or dump it on someone else. If you have cleaned a closet or a room and dumped the stuff that filled every space, you know how freeing that is. That how it feels to say goodbye to the mental and spiritual clutter.
Key takeaways from this episode include:
Practical steps for spiritual decluttering
Reassessing commitments driven by guilt
Redefining relationships
Simplifying spiritual focus.
I know. Some of your cultural expectations are tied to religious upbringing and the entanglement of political and spiritual identities. You can reclaim those spaces. There is room for even stronger faith when you clear out the stuff that doesn’t belong there.
This is about going deeper, not wider.
Look for bonus resources on Midlife Repurposed on Substack, including a 10-day spiritual decluttering challenge.
Mentioned in the episode: Whiskers, Wags, and Woofs book. A gift for the dog or cat lover in your life. (affiliate link)
Get full access to Midlife Repurposed at michellerayburn.substack.com/subscribe
Welcome to Episode 211 of Midlife Repurposed, where today's format takes a reflective turn. I'm your host, Michelle Rayburn, and in this episode, I'm sharing a heartfelt letter I wrote to myself just before the election, without knowledge of the outcome.
I needed reassurance either way. The letter emphasizes the importance of grounding ourselves in faith, love, and community, no matter the political climate.
Join me as I pour my thoughts onto paper and over the airwaves and explore how we can continue to be a force for kindness and unity in our immediate communities.
Here are three key takeaways:
🔹 Embrace Eternal Focus: It's crucial to anchor ourselves in what remains constant. While leaders and circumstances on earth change, our faith and values are unchanging. Our purpose in this world is far beyond any political outcome.
🔹 Love and Compassion Above All: Politics may divide, but our calling to love and support others knows no boundaries. Kindness, empathy, and humility should guide our interactions, no matter the landscape around us.
🔹 Navigate with Grace and Unity: Real progress is built on bridging differences. Extend a listening ear and an open heart, finding common ground in compassion and mutual respect. Our individual actions have the power to transform our communities positively.
I'd love to hear how you're navigating this season, so feel free to share your thoughts on Substack. Just click through to the post, and you’ll see the comments section at the bottom!
Get full access to Midlife Repurposed at michellerayburn.substack.com/subscribe
Ever wondered what it's like to embark on a creative journey in midlife while blending writing, faith, and a deep connection with nature? The latest podcast episode with Cheryl Grey Bostrom goes into just that, offering so much inspiration and practical takeaways.
Cheryl really got to the heart of creativity, resilience, and faith in this discussion. She’s an accomplished author who shared her journey of shifting from nonfiction to fiction writing in midlife, exploring the inspirations behind her award-winning novels, such as Sugar Birds, and an inside peek at her writing process.
Have you discovered that midlife isn’t as free of responsibilities as you once anticipated? We get it! We also explored the delicate balance between creativity and responsibilities, urging listeners to embrace midlife as a season brimming with new opportunities and personal growth. Cheryl invites us to reflect on the interplay of productivity and fruitfulness, integrating spiritual insights from nature into creative endeavors.
This episode offers encouragement and wisdom to pursue divinely inspired dreams with perseverance and faith.
Key Takeaways:
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Creative Themes and Settings: Get a sneak peek into Cheryl's upcoming novels set against the stunning backdrops of the San Juan Islands and the Olympic Peninsula. Explore how themes of healing and resilience intertwine with lush natural settings to create a profound tapestry in her storytelling.
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Faith and Creativity: Discover Cheryl's philosophy on time and faith, emphasizing divine timing and the importance of patience. Learn how she integrates her faith into her creative process, crafting stories that emphasize hope and positive outcomes despite life's challenges.
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Midlife Transformation and Inspiration: Let's explore Cheryl's transition to fiction writing in midlife, providing encouragement for listeners exploring new passions. Her personal stories demonstrate the power of perseverance, divine guidance, and believing in one's dreams no matter your age.
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Nature and Spirituality: Connect with the interplay of nature and spirituality that fuels Cheryl's photography and writing. Learn how she uses photo essays to mirror spiritual truths, showcasing the magnificence of God with minimal text.
We invite you to celebrate midlife as a season ripe with opportunity for personal growth and creative exploration. Whether you're an aspiring writer or just curious about finding new paths in midlife, this episode offers rich insights and a sense of community for those who wish to align their passions with their life's purpose.
Links
Cheryl Grey Bostom - Birds in the Hand on Substack
Cheryl’s website
Books
Sugar Birds
Leaning on Air
Get full access to Midlife Repurposed at michellerayburn.substack.com/subscribe
In the latest episode of "Midlife Repurposed," I had the pleasure of welcoming back Clarissa Moll, whose journey through grief offers incredible insights into resilience and empathy. Clarissa's experience with loss and her dedication to helping others through similar challenges are truly inspiring.
Here are three key takeaways from our enriching conversation:
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Grief as a Journey: Clarissa highlights that grief is not a singular emotion or moment but an ongoing part of life. Rather than viewing it as a problem to solve, embracing it as part of our daily routines and personal growth can lead to profound change. She called it a journey.
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Empathy in Action: Her own story shows how personal experiences of pain can develop deep empathy and compassion. Clarissa discusses how this empathy empowers her to engage with news stories in a way that connects with the humanity behind the headlines.
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Balancing Information Consumption: In navigating midlife challenges, it's essential to recognize personal burdens before overwhelming oneself with global issues. Establishing boundaries around media consumption can reduce stress and enhance our ability to cope with changes.
About Clarissa Moll
Clarissa Moll is an award-winning writer and podcaster who helps bereaved people find flourishing after loss. Clarissa’s writing appears in Christianity Today, The Gospel Coalition, RELEVANT, Modern Loss, Grief Digest and more. She co-hosted Christianity Today’s Surprised by Grief podcast and produces Christianity Today's flagship news podcast, The Bulletin. Clarissa’s debut book, Beyond the Darkness: A Gentle Guide for Living with Grief and Thriving After Loss, was a best-selling new release in 2022. She is the author of the Beyond the Darkness Devotional, Hurt Help Hope: A Real Conversation about Teen Grief and Life after Loss, and Hope Comes to Stay (forthcoming 2025). Clarissa is a remarried widow and lives with her large blended family in the Boston area.
Quotes from Clarissa
Every new beginning comes out of a place of absence, and there is grief attached to that. It requires a reorienting time.
Our woundedness gives us wisdom. . . . You can hold joy and sorrow in the same hand. You can live with both and survive.
We learn how to take our grief to the grocery store, to the office, to the boardroom, to the kitchen table. We let it be a part of who we are and a part of our journey knowing that it isn't the only thing that defines us.
I am a road-tripper, and there is nothing I like more than an itinerary and a map. And the reality is that grief offers us neither of these. Instead, it invites us to a journey that really goes on to the horizon. And when we take that sort of long-game perspective, we can slow down, order our steps a little bit differently, take 40 days, and meditate on what it means to include grief into your life in a way that is honest and sustainable and allows you to grow. And that's what I hope that readers will come away with as they read this book.
For most of us, we've always thought until we interact with grief that it's an emotion. And emotions are something that we sort of process in our heads. We talk about with our friends. We stuff them down and pretend they don't exist. We're not quite sure how to embody our emotions. But, you know, if grief is a companion, if it's sticking around, if it's not leaving you, you can't stay in your head forever. And it helps to have concrete things that you can do that give you a sense of forward motion. Okay. I am making an effort to engage with this unwanted companion. I'm making an effort to rebuild my life.
Links
Clarissa on Life Repurposed (previous interview)
The Bulletin–Christianity Today Podcast
Beyond the Darkness Devotional – New!
Beyond the Darkness: A Gentle Guide for Living with Grief and Thriving after Loss
Hurt Help Hope: A Real Conversation about Teen Grief and Life after Loss
Substack - Hand in Hand
ClarissaMoll.com
I hope you’ll tune in to our conversation! Clarissa shares so many nuggets of wisdom. And do check out her books. The devotional is a beautiful new resource that has so many practical actions with each day.
Get full access to Midlife Repurposed at michellerayburn.substack.com/subscribe
This week, Michelle takes listeners on a journey of understanding how focusing on the bigger picture in life offers greater clarity and harmony. Drawing parallels between her graphic design experience and life's complexities, Michelle describes how zeroing in on a single pixel—be it a personal issue or societal challenge—can lead to a distorted view.
Just as a photo is composed of countless pixels that must harmonize to form one beautiful image, our lives are made richer by acknowledging and understanding interconnected issues.
The episode continues from a recent Substack post.
Michelle emphasizes the importance of zooming out to understand how everything from education to health care, politics to faith, interrelate. Her insights underscore that solving societal problems requires a collective approach—not an isolated one. This episode serves as a poignant reminder to focus on collaboration rather than division, even when disagreements arise.
Throughout the episode, Michelle shares thoughtful anecdotes and insights from her personal journey and writing. She highlights the necessity of empathy, humility, and seeing shared humanity as critical to overcoming polarization. By choosing love and understanding over winning arguments or proving others wrong, we can create a world that’s more compassionate and inclusive.
Listeners are encouraged to refocus their perspectives and contribute to a bigger, more beautiful picture by collaborating, learning, and growing through tension and differing viewpoints.
Also mentioned the upcoming launch of Michelle’s new book Whiskers, Wags, and Woofs.
Get full access to Midlife Repurposed at michellerayburn.substack.com/subscribe
In this insightful episode of Midlife Repurposed, host Michelle Rayburn sits down with Dr. Mikala Albertson, a board-certified family practice doctor and author of "Everything I Wish I Could Tell You About Midlife: A Woman's Guide to Health in the Body You Actually Have." Together, they unpack a wealth of practical health advice tailored for midlife women navigating the complexities of perimenopause and beyond.
Dr. Albertson shares down-to-earth tips for maintaining the health of the body you have, underscoring realistic and sustainable goals over unattainable ideals. The conversation addresses the often-overlooked health effects on intimacy, stressing the importance of open dialogue with your healthcare provider and your partner.
Michelle and Mikala also delve into traditionally taboo topics such as urinary incontinence and the profound impact of perimenopause symptoms on daily life. From the need for individualized healthcare consultations to the benefits of preventive health exams, this episode is a treasure trove of information for enhancing well-being in midlife.
Links:
Book: Everything I Wish I Could Tell You About Midlife: A Woman’s Guide to Health in the Body You Actually Have
Claim your preorder bonuses (through October 8)
Connect with Mikala on Facebook and Instagram
Mikala’s website
Listen to Mikala tell her story on the podcast before (Life Repurposed episode 160)
About Mikala:
Dr. Mikala Albertson is a board-certified family practice doctor, author, and well-being advocate who is passionate about women’s health and healing in the imperfect bodies we actually have. She’s the author the book Ordinary on Purpose and inspires readers every day to stop striving for “perfect” lives or some unattainable cultural ideal of “beauty and wellness” and instead aim for wholehearted living through a gentle, achievable, sustainable approach.
Key Takeaways:
- Realistic Health Goals
Mikala debunks the myth of chasing unrealistic fitness ideals and encourages setting sustainable, grounded health targets that fit your lifestyle.
- Limited Agency
The conversation explores the balance of control we have over our health and acknowledges what we can't change, a crucial mindset for managing stress and anxiety.
- Impact on Intimacy
Health changes can affect intimacy, a topic often neglected by doctors. Albertson discusses how to bring up these sensitive issues during medical appointments and highlights the role of sex therapists.
- Perimenopause Insights
From hot flashes to irregular cycles, this episode covers the A to Z of perimenopause symptoms and effective strategies for managing them.
- Supplements
Learn about the safe and beneficial supplements you should consider, and why caution is necessary with the supplement industry’s less regulated offerings.
Main Ideas:
- Health Awareness
Practical tips for embracing the body you have and why realistic health goals lead to better long-term success and emotional well-being.
- Open Conversations
Encouragement for open discussions about traditionally taboo topics like intimacy, urinary incontinence, and mental health.
- Medical Collaboration
Tips on finding the right healthcare providers and the importance of a collaborative approach to your health.
This content does not replace consulting your doctor for advice. This interview is for discussion purposes and for learning. We are each responsible to evaluate the information and discuss with our doctors.
Get full access to Midlife Repurposed at michellerayburn.substack.com/subscribe
In this episode, we explore practicing spontaneous hospitality and how it fosters deeper connections and meaningful relationships. Sue Donaldson shares her own enlightening experiences – from inviting a mistaken guest to her home to hosting neighborhood gatherings, and how these acts of openness have enriched her life.
Key Takeaways from This Episode:
- Embrace Spontaneity
Sue’s stories encourage us to say "yes" to unexpected opportunities and turn potential mistakes into beautiful connections.
- Intentional Connections
Learn how Sue’s regular neighborhood coffees and “adopting” a college student create long-lasting relationships and community bonds.
- Practical Hospitality Tips
Michelle and Sue discuss practical tips for inclusive and stress-free hosting that focus on the guests’ comfort rather than the host’s perfection.
- Handling Awkwardness and Contributions
Discover strategies to make your guests feel more at ease, like asking them to bring an item or giving them a manageable role in the gathering.
Sue's enthusiasm is contagious as she recounts hosting college students, adapting to dietary restrictions, and maintaining flexibility to accommodate last-minute guests—sometimes dozens! She emphasizes how small gestures like inviting someone over for a wine night or a simple dinner can lead to profound community outreach and personal growth.
Main Ideas Discussed:
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The distinction between hospitality and entertaining and why the former should always be guest-focused.
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The importance of encouraging guests to contribute to gatherings, making them feel involved and reducing the host’s stress.
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Tips for including and mentoring younger generations through informal gatherings and intentional hospitality.
Throughout the episode, Sue provides actionable advice on preparing for gatherings, building inclusive settings, and even handling introverted children during events. Michelle joins in with her own experiences, making this episode a rich resource for anyone looking to repurpose their midlife with more meaningful hospitality practices.
Get inspired by Sue Donaldson’s dedication to welcoming others into her home and heart—whether it’s through thematic gatherings, neighborhood brunches, or her famed wine nights. Join us as we dive deep into how you can cultivate a welcoming heart and create a ripple effect of kindness and connection in your own community.
Don’t miss Sue’s free resource gift for listeners, which includes a prayer for a hospitable heart, a special recipe, and mentoring worksheets.
Links:
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Sue’s bonus resources just for Midlife Repurposed listeners: recipes, free printables, and worksheets
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How to start a neighborhood coffee resource
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Facebook group: Welcome Heart Welcome Home
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About Sue
Get full access to Midlife Repurposed at michellerayburn.substack.com/subscribe
This week, we have guest Heather Creekmore on the Midlife Repurposed podcast. Heather is an author, podcaster, and coach who speaks extensively on women's body image and comparison. In this episode, we dive deep into aging gracefully, shifting our focus from physical beauty to inner beauty, and the significance of gratitude in our daily lives.
We explored how to embrace the natural changes that come with aging, from hair color to body shape, and how gratitude can significantly impact our outlook. Should we color our hair or go gray? We pondered that too.
Heather shared invaluable insights on nurturing self-acceptance and offered practical action steps to declutter our wardrobes and minds. Whether dealing with shifting family dynamics, managing forgetfulness, or redefining beauty standards, this episode is packed with wisdom and encouragement for anyone navigating midlife.
We also touched on Heather's latest devotional, which provides spiritual guidance and practical steps for embracing aging. So, grab your favorite cup of coffee and join us in discovering how to age gracefully and gratefully. Plus, you can pick up Heather’s devotional (below) wherever books are sold.
Links Mentioned
Compared to Who podcast with Heather Creekmore
Aging Gratefully 30-day devotional book
Heather’s website
Get full access to Midlife Repurposed at michellerayburn.substack.com/subscribe
This week on Midlife Repurposed, Michelle shares practical strategies to overcome the inertia that often accompanies midlife. Drawing from her personal experiences and the concept of a growth mindset, Michelle provides a roadmap to help you stay mentally sharp, spiritually grounded, and physically well. Whether you're feeling stuck or simply looking to enrich your journey, this episode is your guide to repurposing this vital season of life.
Key Takeaways:
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Understanding Stagnation: Michelle explains the natural tendency towards routine and how it can lead to stagnation, especially as we accumulate life experiences that shape our preferences and habits.
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Cultivating a Growth Mindset: Discover the powerful concept of a growth mindset, popularized by Dr. Carol Dweck, and learn how embracing continuous learning and adaptability can keep you vibrant and engaged.
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Embracing Change: Michelle emphasizes the importance of stepping out of comfort zones and staying open to new experiences, career paths, technologies, and ways of thinking to avoid stagnation.
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Intergenerational Relationships: Learn the value of connecting with different generations. Michelle shares her own experiences of learning from and teaching both younger and older individuals, highlighting the mutual benefits of such relationships.
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Serving Others: Understand how focusing outwardly through community service and supporting others can keep you engaged with the world around you, fostering personal growth and a continued sense of purpose.
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Repurposing Life: Get inspired to find new purposes and passions later in life. Whether it’s starting a new ministry, pursuing long-neglected hobbies, or simply being a mentor, Michelle offers practical suggestions to keep your life dynamic and meaningful.
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Physical and Mental Activity: Explore the importance of staying physically and mentally active. Michelle shares tips on how to keep your body strong and your mind sharp through various exercises and engaging activities.
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Spiritual Growth: Emphasizing the need for continual spiritual development, Michelle discusses how seeking God’s wisdom and remaining rooted in faith can provide a sturdy foundation for lifelong growth.
Whether you’re in the midst of midlife transitions or just looking for inspiration, this episode provides practical strategies to avoid stagnation and repurpose your life with renewed vigor and purpose.
Get full access to Midlife Repurposed at michellerayburn.substack.com/subscribe
On this Midlife Repurposed podcast episode, Michelle Rayburn joins guest Linda Hanstra as they discuss finding joy and purpose in midlife transitions. Linda shares her story of discovering hope and renewal in unexpected places, providing practical tips and insights along the way.
Michelle and Linda talk about:
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Linda’s journey from blogging about her daughter’s health challenges to connecting with a new blog audience of empty nesters.
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The power of community and how sharing personal stories can inspire and connect others.
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Embracing faith and finding joy even in the face of difficult life transitions.
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The concept of a "mighty nest" and how to transition from an empty nest into a fulfilling phase of life.
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The unexpected blessings and moments of joy experienced in the midst of trials and struggles.
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Overcoming imposter syndrome and finding authenticity in writing and personal growth.
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Encouragement for those navigating midlife transitions, finding joy, and embracing the ride.
Connect with Linda Hanstra:
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Check out Linda’s uplifting content in her Substack newsletter: Empty Nest Joyride.
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Explore more about Linda’s journey and connect with her at LindaHanstra.com.
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Get Linda’s free resources.
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More about Linda's published books, including her Lenten devotional.
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Check out This Reimagined Empty Nest, where Linda shares her story in one of the chapters.
Get full access to Midlife Repurposed at michellerayburn.substack.com/subscribe
In midlife, newfound confidence often leads to more freely expressing opinions, but balancing that confidence with empathy in communication is crucial. Overly blunt communication can come off as abrasive, potentially damaging relationships. While speaking honestly and directly can be refreshing and effective, particularly in business or building trust in relationships, it can also risk misunderstanding and hurt feelings if not handled carefully.
The key to maintaining this balance lies in empathy. It’s important to consider how your words might be perceived by others, asking yourself if your delivery is both honest and kind. Practicing empathy helps you understand others' perspectives, ensuring that your confidence doesn’t hurt others. When confidence becomes abrasiveness, it can shut down communication, erode trust, and create a toxic environment.
An increase in confidence may also lead to dismissing others' opinions, which can create a feeling of superiority. This dismissive attitude can damage relationships, as others may feel belittled and stop sharing their thoughts. This can be especially prevalent in political discussions or social media posts where blunt labels or phrases like "Obviously" or "Only weak-minded people would think..." can alienate others.
To avoid these pitfalls, it’s important to approach communication with humility. Even when you strongly believe in your perspective, it’s vital to remain open to others' viewpoints. Listening actively and respecting differing opinions strengthens relationships and fosters growth. True confidence isn’t about always being right—it’s about respecting others’ opinions and creating an environment where dialogue and mutual respect thrive.
Five strategies for balancing confidence with compassion include:
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Pause Before Speaking: Take a moment to consider the impact of your words. This can help you find the right balance between honesty and tact.
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Choose Your Words Carefully: Small changes in phrasing can make a big difference. For instance, replacing "You're wrong" with "I see it differently" softens the message without diluting it.
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Be Mindful of Your Tone: Tone can convey as much meaning as words. A calm and respectful tone, especially in sensitive situations, can prevent misunderstandings.
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Practice Active Listening: Focus on the other person's perspective, acknowledging their input. This fosters understanding and helps you respond more effectively.
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Apologize When Necessary: If your words unintentionally hurt someone, a sincere apology can repair the damage and show that you care about their feelings.
Ultimately, the goal is to build a culture of respect. Confidence should be tempered with kindness and consideration, creating communication that uplifts and empowers rather than tears down. In a world that often values bluntness, choosing to balance confidence with compassion strengthens personal growth and relationships, and creates a more supportive environment.
Paid subscribers to Midlife Repurposed will receive additional reflection questions when the episode airs.
Get full access to Midlife Repurposed at michellerayburn.substack.com/subscribe
In this episode of Midlife Repurposed, host Michelle Rayburn interviews guest Ruthie Gray about her journey from feeling lost and purposeless in an empty nest to finding fulfillment through online marketing, mentoring, and writing. Ruthie shares her experiences of caregiving, parenting, and grandparenting, offering practical advice and insights for listeners navigating similar life transitions. From her journey to publishing her book, Empty Nest Awakening, to her expanding role as a mentor and coach for empty nest entrepreneurs, Ruthie's story is one of personal growth, faith, and finding God's purpose. Michelle and Ruthie discuss the challenges and triumphs of midlife and how to embrace change with courage and boldness.
Episode Summary:
In the latest episode of Midlife Repurposed, host Michelle Rayburn invites guest Ruthie Gray to share her inspiring journey of finding purpose and fulfillment in the midst of midlife transitions. Ruthie Gray, a former stay-at-home mom and now a successful online marketer, opens up about her struggles with the empty nest phase, caregiving for aging parents, and discovering her calling through faith and perseverance.
Ruthie's story resonates with many listeners who have faced similar life transitions. Her experience of struggling with a lack of purpose after her children left home is a common challenge for mothers. But instead of letting herself drown in the emptiness, Ruthie took courageous steps to journal, read through the Bible, and eventually start blogging about her journey. She shares her experience of finding meaning through mentoring younger moms online and writing two ebooks.
Ruthie's message about embracing flexibility and seeking help during caregiving resonates with anyone facing similar situations, offering practical advice and a sense of hope. Her personal growth from being an introvert to becoming a connector and mentor is truly inspiring, reflecting her courage and faith in God's guidance.
The episode encourages listeners to approach midlife transitions with courage and boldness, finding comfort in connecting with God's purpose. Ruthie's journey serves as a beacon of hope for those facing life transitions, urging them to take action and find fulfillment in the next chapter of their lives.
Links:
Michelle Rayburn on Ruthie’s Authentic Online Marketing podcast
Empty Nest Awakening Book
Authentic Online Marketing (coaching, podcast, and more)
RuthieGray.mom
Get full access to Midlife Repurposed at michellerayburn.substack.com/subscribe
Hey there, amazing listeners! You might have noticed a little change around here—Life Repurposed has gotten a midlife upgrade! I’m here to give you a quick update on how that changes the podcast.
Yep, after 200 episodes, we've rebranded to Midlife Repurposed.
When I first started out, I was creating content for those who were about ten years behind me. But as time has marched on (and I’ve gracefully stepped into the fabulous 50s), I've realized that the person now coming up behind me is around 40. So, it only makes sense to tailor my content to what's relevant in this midlife chapter.
But don't worry if you're still rocking the 30s—there’s plenty of wisdom and laughs here for you too! After all, midlife is just around the corner, and it’s never too early to start thinking about how to repurpose it!
Here are some topics you might see in upcoming episodes:
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Pursuing new passions or reinventing your career.
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Staying active, healthy, and vibrant.
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Strengthening marriage relationships after the kids are grown.
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Finding community and connection in midlife with new friendships.
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Prioritizing your well-being, self-care, and mental health during midlife transitions.
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Exploring the world and finding new adventures.
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Decluttering and embracing a minimalist lifestyle or downsizing.
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Coping with grief and loss in midlife, whether it's losing parents or other loved ones.
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Navigating doubt and questioning long-held beliefs.
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Finding fresh and meaningful ways to connect with God.
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Considering the beliefs and values you want to pass on to the next generation.
When you subscribe to Midlife Repurposed on Substack, you’ll receive all the bonus blogs that go with the topics I cover on the podcast.
Thanks for sticking with me on this journey! I’m super excited about the upgrade!
Get full access to Midlife Repurposed at michellerayburn.substack.com/subscribe
In this raw and unedited episode, Michelle Rayburn opens up about her personal journey with faith. From grappling with conflicting religious standards to experiencing a shift in church traditions, she shares her struggle to break away from a tradition and find a path to grace and love. Michelle's transparent testimony reflects her evolving understanding of grace, love, and the importance of remaining in Jesus. Join her as she recounts her college experience, intertwining lifelong friendships and spiritual activities, and her transformative shift toward what it means to abide in Jesus.
Get full access to Life Repurposed with Michelle Rayburn at michellerayburn.substack.com/subscribe
What does it really mean to belong in church? When do you know if you've found a church home? Michelle Rayburn discusses this and also briefly mentions a social media post from author and speaker Mary Demuth, who shared her own definition of a spiritual refugee, and the importance of finding a place where we can be vulnerable and truly belong in a church community. Michelle talks about the key factors that contribute to feeling at home in a church community, and how to overcome the barriers to connection in order to find belonging and build meaningful relationships. Whether you're searching for your spiritual home or have found it, this episode will resonate with you.
Show Notes:
https://michellerayburn.com/rediscovering-your-place-in-the-pew/
Is critical thinking dead? It doesn't have to be! In this episode of Life Repurposed, we're diving into the world of critical thinking and its profound impact on life, culture, Bible study, faith, and spirituality. Host Michelle Rayburn unpacks the importance of engaging with scripture in a discerning way, exploring diverse perspectives, and understanding historical and cultural contexts to avoid misinterpretation. But the conversation doesn't stop there. We'll also explore the surprising link between critical thinking and resilience to doubt and uncertainty, as well as the misconception that it challenges deeply held beliefs. Join us as we embrace the complexity of faith and reason, and discover the power of curiosity, the joy of discovery, and the diverse perspectives that enrich our understanding of scripture.
Show Notes
https://michellerayburn.com/is-critical-thinking-dead/
As we journey through life, our perspectives and beliefs undergo a transformation, often challenging long-held traditions and assumptions. In Episode 197 of "Life Repurposed," host Michelle Rayburn shares her personal journey of challenging traditional beliefs about biblical manhood and womanhood. Reflecting on her own evolving perspective and the influence of influential books, she explores the need for open dialogue and understanding within faith communities, particularly regarding women's leadership in the church. Michelle offers practical steps for empowering women and emphasizes the importance of embracing diverse gifts for shared leadership.
Show Notes:
https://michellerayburn.com/challenging-gender-roles-in-the-church-empowering-women-in-leadership-and-ministry/
Join Michelle and guests Amber Cullum (Grace Enough Podcast) and Amy Fritz (Untangled Faith Podcast) in a candid and emotional conversation about planning for an empty nest. As midlife moms with kids at various stages, they share their thoughts, fears, and hopes about their children growing up and leaving home. From navigating the transition to preparing for empty nesting, this episode offers relatable insights and genuine conversations about the next chapter in parenting. Tune in for an honest and heartfelt discussion on Life Repurposed. Then hop over to liferepurposed.me to have a conversation about your questions and fears.
Show Notes
https://michellerayburn.com/a-candid-chat-on-planning-ahead-for-an-empty-nest/
Did you stay in a church for the kids? Would you stay for your friendships? In Episode 195 of "Life Repurposed," Michelle Rayburn discusses the topic of staying or leaving a church, particularly as individuals navigate changes in their lives and spiritual journeys. Drawing from personal experiences, biblical examples, and insights from experts, Michelle explores the complexities and considerations involved in discerning this spiritual path. Listeners are encouraged to prioritize their relationship with God, embrace change with faith, and seek guidance when contemplating a new church community. This episode provides valuable reflections and practical guidance for those grappling with the decision to stay or seek a new spiritual home.
Show Notes:
https://michellerayburn.com/stay-or-go-church-choices-and-spiritual-journeys/
In Episode 194 of "Life Repurposed," Michelle emphasizes the transformative power of love as the foundation for rebuilding and enriching lives. With a focus on practical ways to cultivate love, the episode explores empathy, compassion, active listening, and seeking to understand others' unique life stories and worldviews. She discusses the importance of extending acts of kindness, practicing forgiveness, and embracing love as a guiding principle in relationships, communities, and society. The episode also delves into the role of loving others, emphasizing emotional and soul maturity aligning with love and understanding the bigger picture of life. Join us as we prioritize love and intentional relationships, with practical steps for fostering empathy and compassion.
Show Notes:
https://michellerayburn.com/love-comes-with-maturity-if-we-cultivate-it/
In this episode, host Michelle Rayburn explores the importance of pursuing passions and overcoming obstacles in midlife. She shares personal stories and practical tips for reigniting a sense of purpose, embracing uncertainty, and investing in personal growth. Listeners are encouraged to step out of their comfort zones, confront fears, and pursue their true aspirations with courage and conviction. Join Michelle as she challenges you to live each day with intention and embrace the beauty of self-discovery.
Show Notes:
https://michellerayburn.com/uncover-passions-and-live-with-intention/
Discover practical tips and playful insights for navigating life's adventures and memory lapses. Learn memory-boosting strategies, organizational hacks, and how to thrive in midlife and beyond. Rediscover the joy of living fully in the present moment while staying organized and embracing new experiences. Gain practical tips for navigating forgetfulness and maximizing productivity amidst life's chaotic moments. Join Michelle as she inspires and empowers you to celebrate each day as an opportunity to create memories, pursue passions, and connect with the world around you.
Show Notes:
https://michellerayburn.com/midlife-memory-hacks-task-management-and-renewed-purpose/
In this episode, Michelle dives into the topic of midlife, reframing it as a pivotal crossroads rather than a crisis. Embracing authenticity, shedding societal expectations, and seeking empowerment and purpose are just some of the transformative themes discussed. Through personal insights and engaging storytelling, Michelle encourages listeners to approach midlife with wonder, gratitude, and a sense of self-discovery. Join her for an inspiring conversation that challenges perceptions and celebrates the beauty of this transformative stage of life.
Sponsor: Classic Marriage book
https://michellerayburn.com/classicmarriage/
More show notes: https://michellerayburn.com/forget-the-crisis-midlife-is-a-crossroads/
Are you facing a major life transition? Let's explore the transformative power of change and the resilience it can bring. In this episode of "Life Repurposed," Michelle shares her personal experiences and insights on navigating changes and transitions in midlife. From moving to a new community, dealing with personal and family losses, to reinventing her career, she discusses the emotional challenges, spiritual practices, and practical strategies for handling transitions. Join her as she explores the complexities of transitions and offers hope and encouragement for embracing change and finding renewal in the midst of life's challenges.
Series: Midlife Mixtape: Rocking Out to the Soundtracks of Our Middle Years
Show Notes
https://michellerayburn.com/navigating-transitions-and-change-in-mid-life/
In this thought-provoking episode, Michelle explores the complex world of spiritual growth and finding authentic connection in Christian communities. She tackles the tricky topic of midlife transitions, questioning of faith, and the search for deeper meaning and purpose. She explores the impact of phrases commonly used in church circles and the signs of spiritual abuse within Christian communities.
Drawing from her own experiences, Michelle emphasizes the importance of remaining connected to Jesus and seeking genuine, supportive relationships within the church. Michelle encourages listeners to take a leap of faith to find authentic connection and fruitfulness in their spiritual journey. This is an episode that will challenge, inspire, and encourage you to seek genuine growth and connection in Christ.
Show Notes:
https://michellerayburn.com/thriving-connections-in-christian-community/
Is it possible to love someone while hating their behavior or decisions? In this episode of Life Repurposed, host Michelle Rayburn explores the potentially controversial phrase "hate the sin, love the sinner," challenging its implications and impact on our relationships. Through biblical insights and compelling examples, Michelle discusses the potential harm and judgmental attitudes this phrase may foster, advocating for a more empathetic and inclusive approach to loving others. She’s honest and transparent about her own thoughts on how to treat others and the origin of the phrase. Listen in and explore the transformative power of genuine love and acceptance.
Show Notes:
https://michellerayburn.com/challenging-hate-the-sin-love-the-sinner/
Join host Michelle Rayburn and her husband, Phil Rayburn, as they share insights and playful banter about their 34-year marriage. They discuss intentional date nights and the value of communication. Tune in for a fun game of "would you rather," their preferences in various scenarios, and a glimpse into their relationship dynamics. Having fun together is one of their secrets for a long marriage. Don't miss out on this heartwarming and candid conversation about love and marriage. Subscribe to Michelle's mailing list on Substack for bonus gifts and explore more resources in the Life Repurposed magazine. (Paid members get chapter 1 of Classic Marriage this time!)
Show Notes:
https://michellerayburn.com/love-laughter-and-classic-marriage/
Is “born-again Christian” just a box to check on a survey? How does it apply to life today, and is it a label we still use, or has it been ruined by modern evangelicalism? Host Michelle Rayburn begins this thought-provoking episode with exploring the history and modern use of the term “born again” and its impact on the evangelical movement. She reviews the transformative journey of Nicodemus in John 3 and its parallels to the modern Christian experience. Explore beyond a mere label as Michelle encourages listeners to embrace continual transformation and renewal that make being spiritual rebirth (being born again) lead to a way of living rather than a label to claim.
Show notes:
https://michellerayburn.com/what-is-a-born-again-christian/
Is “Christian” a noun or an adjective, and what difference does it make? In Episode 185 of "Life Repurposed," host Michelle Rayburn dives into the implications of the title "Christian" in various aspects of life. She explores the significance of embodying the qualities of Jesus in everyday decisions and challenges listeners to seek spiritual transformation over “plastic” versions of Christianity.
What happens when we use Bible verses out of context for decoration on t-shirts, mugs, and wall art? Michelle also explores the importance of understanding the context of Bible verses to avoid misinterpretation and misapplication, providing practical tips to achieve this. Zooming out to look at the context has changed her personal Bible study so much, and she gives examples of how she’s experienced a repurposed life in this area.
Show Notes:
https://michellerayburn.com/christian-is-a-noun-and-scripture-is-not-for-decoration/
Substack:
www.LifeRepurposed.me
In Episode 184 of Life Repurposed, join host Michelle Rayburn as she shares explores the concept of "biblical worldview" and the diversity of interpretations within Christianity. Michelle discusses what aspects of life are affected by worldview and shares ways to appreciate theological diversity and avoid assuming uniformity among Christians.
She explains the pitfalls of living in an echo chamber and the importance of embracing diverse beliefs without sacrificing core values. Michelle encourages embracing diverse beliefs while maintaining core values, and commits to delivering quality content and fostering open dialogue
Michelle also shares her vision for the new season and her commitment to providing valuable content and building a community focused on meaningful engagement and invites listeners to join the discussion on Substack. Tune in for an engaging and thought-provoking content.
Show notes:
https://michellerayburn.com/what-in-the-world-is-a-biblical-worldview/
It’s time to rethink everything you thought you knew about food, your appearance, and your body. In this episode of Life Repurposed, host Michelle Rayburn is joined by guest Heather Creekmore for a candid conversation about body image and the biblical approach to it. Heather shares her personal journey of struggling with body image issues, dieting, and the realization that her obsession with changing her body had become an idol in her life. The conversation also explores the false promises of diets, the temporary nature of the "after" picture, and how diets do not provide lasting fulfillment as promised. They discuss practical tools to address body image issues and aim to shine a light on cultural expectations, with Heather providing insights from her new book The 40-Day Body Image Workbook: Hope for Christian Women Who’ve Tried Everything. Join Michelle and Heather as they explore the intersection of faith, body image, and self-acceptance in this thought-provoking and uplifting episode.
Show Notes
In Episode 182 of Life Repurposed, host Michelle Rayburn and guest Becky Melby dive into the importance of setting boundaries, giving yourself grace, and finding balance in managing time and rest. Becky shares her personal experiences with health challenges, taking a pause on her writing, and the transition to embracing a slower pace of life. They dive into the joy of leisure, finding purpose, and debunking unrealistic holiday expectations. Plus, discover Becky's heartwarming Christmas traditions and her delightful novels to unwind with this season. Join us for a heartwarming and insightful discussion.
Show Notes
__________________
Audio intro and outro "To Meet The Light" used with permission from Pixabay Terms of Service. https://pixabay.com/users/lemonmusicstudio-14942887/
Licensee: michelle1825
https://pixabay.com/music/upbeat-to-meet-the-light-108601/
Audio File ID: 108601
Michelle shares delightful stories of Christmas with her grandma, from treat bags and childhood memories to enduring love and holiday traditions. She encourages listeners to consider those who have touched their lives and to reach out to them during the holidays.
This episode is part 3 of 3 in the Renewed Christmas Blessings special holiday series. It focuses on considering how our legacies are rooted in what we have received from our ancestors. Michelle said, "Our loved ones have not left us. They're in our DNA. They're in the smiles around the table, in the faith legacy represented in the nativity story we read before opening presents and in the songs we sing on Christmas Eve as we hold candles and join hands. They are always in our hearts."
Show Notes
In this special Christmas episode, step up to the challenge of releasing the desire to create the perfect holiday wonderland. Michelle reflects on the evolution of her Christmas celebrations, from meticulously crafted themed trees to the delightful chaos of family decorations. Discover the beauty in imperfection as Michelle shares her journey from being a multitasking marvel to a minimalist maven, finding joy in the simplicity of the season. The episode resonates with themes of hope, grace, and the profound meaning of Christmas beyond the trappings of decorations and busyness. Join Michelle in this soul-stirring episode that invites listeners to recenter their hearts on the true light of the season—Jesus—and to embrace the celebration of Christmas with open hearts and without an agenda.
Show Notes
In this episode, Michelle Rayburn shares a story titled "A Grinch-Proof Christmas," based on a chapter from her new Christmas book, "Renewed Christmas Blessings." Tune in as Michelle reflects on the joys and challenges of the holiday season, sharing personal insights and practical wisdom about embracing the true essence of Christmas. She shares her not-to-do and her must-do lists with examples of how her holiday traditions have changed. Discover how she found a new perspective on holiday traditions and gift-giving, and learn about the book's release and special offers.
Show notes
In this episode, Michelle welcomes guest Sarah Frazer, author of the book "I Didn't Sign Up For This." Sarah shares her story of how God revealed his plans through disruptions in her life and how she had to let go of her own plans and dreams to follow his path. From redefining what is "good" to navigating the challenges of adoption and pursuing missions work, Sarah's journey offers encouragement and perspective for those facing unexpected situations in life. Tune in to discover how faith and biblical wisdom can help navigate life's unexpected journeys.
Show Notes
In this episode of "Life Repurposed" with Michelle Rayburn, we dive deep into the power of words and the transformative journey of Paul. Michelle shares her personal stories and insights, reminding us to never underestimate the impact our lives can have on others. From soldiers finding lifelines in letters to her grandparents courting during World War 2, we explore the remarkable connections formed through written words. Michelle challenges us to examine our priorities, hearts, and fruit, while emphasizing the hope and victory found in Christ's love. Join us as we discover how to live a life that reflects Christ's light and transform our weaknesses into beautiful testimonials. Let's embrace our new nature and be renewed in the knowledge of God.
Show notes and resources
Are you ready for a fresh start? Episode 176 of Life Repurposed, we explore the theme of before and after, and what it means to be truly transformed.
Discover how Paul's dramatic change can give us hope for our own transformation. Michelle explores the concept of repurposing one's life and the ability to say, "I used to be this way, but now I am transformed." She discusses the importance of recognizing our before as evidence of God's power, striving to resemble Jesus in our after, and embracing the fact that we are all a work in progress.
Join Michelle as she provides practical insights and encouragement for those seeking transformation and repurposing in their own lives.
Show notes and resources
In this episode of "Life Repurposed," host Michelle Rayburn shares a powerful message about the importance of truth and grace in our lives. Drawing from the story of the apostle Paul, Michelle encourages listeners to ask God what changes or amends they need to make in their opportunity for a restart. She covers the misuse of scripture as a weapon, the idea of how we can be misguided in unintentionally putting traditions and legalism ahead of truth. Michelle explores the concept of personal and spiritual restarts, offering wisdom and inspiration for growth along with transparency in her own spiritual journey.
Show notes and resources
Explore the transformative power of encountering Jesus. This recording is session 1 of a 4-part series from a retreat called ReMade. Drawing inspiration from the story of Jesus and the Samaritan woman at the well, Michelle discusses how Jesus understands our true needs and seeks to connect with and not condemn us. She reminds us that finding refreshment and fulfillment comes from reconnecting with Jesus, regardless of our past attempts. Tune in to discover how encountering Jesus can bring hope, joy, and a renewed sense of purpose to your life.
Show notes and resources
In this episode, host Michelle Rayburn explores the difference between opponents and enemies. She explores the power of our words and the impact they can have on our relationships and interactions. Michelle shares practical steps to approach disagreements with grace and a willingness to understand differing perspectives. Discover how embracing a mindset of love and respect can transform our interactions and open doors to collaboration and common ground. Join Michelle as she encourages listeners to view others as opponents rather than enemies and explores the positive outcomes that can result from this mindset shift.
Plus, she talks about reading Rainn Wilson's new book, and about two brand new releases from other authors.
Show notes and resource links
Do you struggle with focus? Does it seem as if others know their direction but you don’t? In this episode, you’ll learn how boundaries can be your best friend when seeking to live out your purpose. Guest Rachel G. Scott talks about being raised by her father and how it shaped who she is now as a passionate ministry leader and business owner. If you keep self-sabotaging, Rachel has some words of encouragement for you. And if you’re uncertain about taking a leap, Rachel talks about taking the first step.
Show notes, links, and resources
In this episode, Michelle explores the theme of finding hope and strength in the midst of life's messiness. From questioning our purpose to navigating communication issues in family life, Michelle delves into the challenges we face and how they can shape our faith. Drawing from personal experiences and spiritual insights, she encourages listeners to embrace the journey, trust in God's faithfulness, and seek support and understanding from those around them. Join us as we discover how even in the messiest of situations, God's presence can bring light and hope. Don't miss this inspiring episode of Life Repurposed: "Finding Hope in Life's Messiness."
Show Notes and Resources
In this episode, Michelle welcomes guest Crystal Paine, author of the book The Time-Saving Mom. Crystal shares her unique approach to time management, emphasizing the need for personal ownership and intentional choices. Drawing from her own experiences as a mother and caregiver to a child with special needs, Crystal offers practical tips on how to budget time just like you would budget money. Join us as we explore the power of prioritization, planning, and preparation to create a more fulfilling and purposeful life. Tune in to learn how to stop saying you don't have time and take control of your schedule.
Crystal Paine is a New York Times bestselling author, a popular speaker, the host of The Crystal Paine Show, and the founder of one of the top personal finance blogs on the web, Money Saving Mom. Her desire is to help women across the globe live with more joy in their everyday lives. Her biggest passions are helping women understand how the Gospel can radically transform their lives, raising awareness for foster care, and finding great deals at the grocery store. She lives with her husband and kids in the Nashville, Tennessee, area.
Show notes and resources
On this episode of Life Repurposed, host Michelle Rayburn discusses the concept of deconstructing faith. She clarifies that deconstructing faith does not imply demolition or destruction, but rather a process of critically examining and reevaluating one's beliefs within the context of religion or spirituality.
Michelle shares her personal journey of deconstruction and how it led her to question assumptions, explore doubts, and reflect on her experiences. She emphasizes the importance of asking questions, being curious, and engaging with diverse perspectives. Michelle also addresses common misconceptions about deconstructing faith, such as it leading to atheism or a rejection of all religious practices. She explains that deconstruction can actually deepen one's faith and foster greater compassion and empathy. Ultimately, deconstructing faith is a transformative aspect of self-discovery and an ongoing journey of growth and understanding.
Show notes and resources
On this episode, Michelle chats with author and speaker Caris Snider to discuss the journey of overcoming anxiety and depression as a mom. Caris shares her own personal experiences and how she found hope and encouragement through being authentic with other moms about getting help. They also dive into the importance of talking about mental health and finding support within the church community. Join Michelle and Caris as they explore the power of vulnerability and self-care in the journey of motherhood and talk about Caris’s new devotional book for moms.
Show notes and resources
This week, Michelle explores the powerful topic of reimagining what it means to be good and godly in a grace-centered gospel. She candidly reflects on the pressure and expectations placed on families and our children, challenging us to question the consequences of not fitting the mold. Michelle shares her personal experiences and struggles, opening up about the dangers of labeling and excluding others based on their choices and lifestyles. With warmth and compassion, she emphasizes the core message of Christianity: love, grace, and redemption for all.
Michelle invites us to embrace humility, vulnerability, and authenticity in our faith journeys, fostering an inclusive environment where everyone can find hope, repurpose their lives, and discover the transformative power of the gospel.
Show notes and resources
In this episode of Life Repurposed, Michelle and guest Kate Battistelli discuss the challenges and rewards of stepping out in faith and following God's calling. From battling doubts to learning to trust in God's timing, Kate shares her personal journey of obedience and the incredible transformations that have unfolded as a result. They cover topics such as overcoming guilt and shame, embracing forgiveness, and finding purpose amidst waiting seasons. Join Michelle and Kate as they encourage listeners to take action, trust in God's plan, and live a life repurposed for his glory.
Episode 166: Show notes and resources
In this episode, we address the power of reframing the narrative during times of change and the importance of embracing the journey ahead, even when it looks different than expected. Michelle explored how to navigate through challenging situations such as changes in family dynamics, job loss, relocation, and health issues.
As our circumstances shift and evolve, we are often faced with unexpected challenges and opportunities. Michelle reminds us of the importance of nurturing relationships and seeking a deeper purpose in order to embark on a remarkable expedition of personal growth.
In this episode, Michelle welcomes guest Natalie Hixson, a certified professional life coach who helps moms overcome anger and burnout. Natalie shares her personal journey of grappling with destructive anger and the steps she took to overcome it. From her own experiences with therapy, personal development, and serving others, Natalie offers valuable insights for moms struggling with anger issues. She emphasizes the importance of vulnerability, seeking support, and finding healthy ways to release and address anger. Don't miss this empowering and insightful conversation that will help moms navigate the challenges of parenthood and find peace in their daily lives.
Show notes and resources
The episode emphasizes the power of gratitude and contentment in our pursuit of influence. Michelle encourages us to cultivate a heart of thankfulness and a spirit of rest in contentment. True gain is found in appreciating rather than accumulating, and it recalibrates our perspective, silencing comparison and envy.
Michelle explores the transformative power of humility, gratitude, and contentment. She discusses the dangers of pride and the importance of valuing others above oneself. With insights from Scripture and personal anecdotes, Michelle guides independent creatives on striking a balance between self-promotion and authenticity. Join her on this journey of self-reflection and discover the secrets to building influence with humility.
Remember, it's not about the number of followers or accolades, but the impact we make when we walk humbly, honor God, and spread Christ's love. Let's embrace humility and gratitude, and watch how they transform our lives and the lives of those around us.
Show notes and resources
Secial guest Jennifer Dukes Lee opens up about doubt and faith and talks about the therapeutic value journaling holds. Discover how a simple journal can help you explore your emotions, discover your purpose, and even reconcile friendships. Plus, dive into the importance of being your authentic self and find out why Jennifer embraces the title Binder Girl. Learn what “itsuarpok” is, explore whether Michelle will survive a zombie apocalypse, and find out what spreading ashes, chocolate buffets, and weird stuff in Jennifer’s purse have in common.
Show notes and resources
Don't miss this thought-provoking conversation that will help you navigate the challenges of motherhood with grace and self-compassion.
Mikala Albertson, MD, opens up about her own healing journey, overcoming childhood trauma, and finding strength in sharing her story with others.
Discover how recognizing and addressing self-doubt can unleash your true potential and help you overcome the imposter syndrome and the fear of not measuring up.
Pam Fields (Tending Fields) opens up about the challenges she faced as a young mother, feeling unprepared and overwhelmed by the responsibilities of raising children.
Michelle explores the importance of embracing open-mindedness, recognizing the value of diversity, and fostering an environment of respectful dialogue as we celebrate freedom.
We encounter unforeseen difficulties that can often leave us feeling lost, discouraged, or even broken, but it's crucial to remember that we're not alone in these struggles.
Kaitlyn Fiedler shares her experience of processing the loss of her family in a tragic accident and finding comfort in her faith.
Avoiding the echo chamber effect. Practical tips for navigating negative reactions online, seeking out diverse perspectives, and prioritizing mental and emotional well-being.
Andrea talks about her journey from losing her job to starting over in a completely new career path, finding a niche in social media management, and professional development for school social media champions.
In this episode:In this episode, Michelle shares the power of focusing on others rather than ourselves. As Christians, we are called to lead a life of love, compassion, and selflessness. However, it can be easy to forget the needs of those around us and become consumed with our own lives. Michelle shares personal challenges and practical ways to shift our focus, such as taking a genuine interest in someone’s day, actively listening, and lending a helping hand. Focusing on others opens our hearts and leads to deeper relationships. Michelle also gives tips on cultivating gratitude, seeking opportunities to volunteer, and surrounding ourselves with like-minded individuals.
Download a Transcript(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.)
In today’s world, it can be easy to get caught up in our own lives and forget about the needs of those around us. However, focusing on others is not only important, but it can also bring immeasurable rewards.
Michelle believes focusing on others is an essential component of living a fulfilling and meaningful life. It’s a lifelong pursuit that brings enormous rewards. She offers practical tips on how to cultivate an attitude of gratitude, seek opportunities to volunteer, and surround ourselves with like-minded individuals. She also shares how taking a genuine interest in someone’s day, actively listening, and lending a helping hand can deepen our relationships with those around us.
In a world that often values individualism and self-centeredness, it’s crucial to renew ourselves by focusing on others.
Focusing on others helps us to become better versions of ourselves. It brings purpose, fulfillment, and joy to our lives. It’s a win-win situation that enriches our lives and the lives of those around us.
Key Quotes
- “Focusing on others opens our hearts and leads to deeper relationships.”
- “Focusing more on others is a lifelong pursuit, and it brings immeasurable rewards.”
- “Living a life of love, compassion, and selflessness is the calling of every Christian.”
- “Cultivating gratitude and seeking out opportunities to volunteer can shift our focus from ourselves to others.”
- “Surrounding ourselves with like-minded individuals can support us on our journey towards a more selfless life.”
Resources
- Subscribe to Michelle’s email list at michellerayburn.com to receive practical resources and devotionals.
- Check out Michelle’s new Bible study, Renewed, and download a free sample chapter at Remade Series.
- Share episodes with friends and family to spread the message of hope in the trashy stuff of life.
Books and Articles:
Fulfilled by Alexandra McKillop.
What Happens Next by Christina Suzann Nelson
1440 – Unbiased news source
A free worksheet related to this episode went out to Michelle’s mailing list. If you missed it, past worksheets are available forever to Patreon monthly subscribers at patreon.com/LifeRepurposed. You can get a 7-day trial membership to see what resources are in the growing library there.
(Please note: many books posted here on my blog are purely because I want to share them. Sometimes I receive free copies for review, and other times I purchase the books. Some I get from the library. Either way, any endorsement I offer here on the blog is simply because I want to talk about the book.)Content copyright MichelleRayburn.com
This post contains affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, if you click through and make a purchase, I may receive a commission. I sell my books via Amazon but I’m also a part of their “Associates” (i.e. affiliate) program which pays a commission on books and any other Amazon products people purchase via my links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Support the ShowEach episode of Life Repurposed has costs related to software, hosting, and production labor.
Would you consider becoming a sponsor on Patreon? Benefits include options such as live calls, bonus episodes, your product mention, and more. Plus full transparency on how funds are used.
In this episode:In this episode of Life Repurposed, Michelle and Jennifer delve into the root causes of disordered eating habits and body dissatisfaction, discussing the emotional and mental health problems that often give rise to eating disorders. Jennifer’s ministry work and use of biblical teachings as a source of emotional and spiritual healing provide hope and inspiration for individuals struggling with disordered eating or looking to transform their lives.
About Jennifer Smith Lane:Jennifer Smith Lane is the co-founder of the Michigan Eating Disorders Alliance whose mission is to provide education programs to prevent eating disorders. In addition to her non-profit work, she has written an award-winning Bible study birthed out of her own struggle with an eating disorder, to help others on their recovery journey and empower them to find freedom in Christ. At present, Jennifer works as an eating disorder recovery coach with the Kirsten Haglund’s Virtual Transitional Living Program for Eating Disorders. However, she enjoys most her role as a mom to her three children.
Download a Transcript(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.)
Every day, women give in to distorted thinking that leads to disordered eating and body image ideals. Jennifer Smith Lane says that when these root issues are exposed, we become empowered to walk victoriously over food and body image issues and transform our thinking through Scripture and spiritual disciplines.
Jennifer shares her powerful story of overcoming a seven-year struggle with an eating disorder through transforming her thinking and focusing on God’s power. This episode emphasizes that eating disorders are not just physical health problems, but also emotional and mental health problems that result from disordered eating habits. They often stem from brokenness, abuse, and vulnerability. Eating disorders promise happiness but enslave people to disordered eating.
The podcast aims to help listeners understand the underlying issues behind these disorders in order to address them in a holistic way. The discussion tackles the issue of eating disorders from a spiritual perspective.
One misconception is that disordered eating and eating disorders are all about body and bikinis. But for some people, there are layers to it. Michelle talks about how dieting became an idol for her, and she associated avoiding food with honoring God. She realized that the things she was doing were just obsessive attempts to win approval.
The podcast also highlights the importance of accepting oneself and embracing differences in having a healthy relationship with food and the world around us. God designed food to be a blessing, but it can become an idol when it is put above God. Following rules as legalism won’t save us – Jesus is the one who saves us, and his grace is immeasurable.
Memorable MomentsReaction to what a medical professional said: “I thought, ‘What do you mean it’s not going to go away?’ I thought that’s what we were doing here.”— Jennifer [00:07:24 → 00:18:15]
Navigating Eating Disorder Recovery with Faith: “In God’s grace, there’s no measure. You’re enough, just like you are.”— Jennifer [00:18:36 → 00:19:33]
Transformed: “Every time I share my story, I do feel a little freer. So it did begin a healing process for me to be able to be vulnerable about it and not experience rejection, abandonment, all those kinds of things that I had always grown up fearing.”— Jennifer [00:20:35 → 00:26:24]
The Importance of Embracing Ourselves: “God didn’t design food to be assembling a block. He designed it to be a blessing. And so how do we receive that as a blessing from God? And how do we accept ourselves in this earth suit that God’s given us and all of ours look different? And God made it that way.”— Jennifer [00:31:30 → 00:34:21]
Overcoming Disordered Eating: “Satan’s not creative, and he likes to bring back old things that have tripped you up before. And so when that happens, just recognizing that that’s just the strategy of the enemy and viewing it that way and praying about it that way and doing the things that I know to do that I’ve learned how to do.”— Jennifer [00:34:42 → 00:36:56]
Eating Disorder Recovery: “If you’re struggling with eating and body image issues…there is hope. There’s hope for healing, there’s hope for freedom, there’s hope for rescue.”— Jennifer [00:37:23 → 00:38:20]
Resources for Transforming Mind on Body Image and FoodTransformed: Eating and Body Image Renewal God’s Way
A free worksheet related to this episode went out to Michelle’s mailing list. If you missed it, past worksheets are available forever to Patreon monthly subscribers at patreon.com/LifeRepurposed. You can get a 7-day trial membership to see what resources are in the growing library there.
(Please note: many books posted here on my blog are purely because I want to share them. Sometimes I receive free copies for review, and other times I purchase the books. Some I get from the library. Either way, any endorsement I offer here on the blog is simply because I want to talk about the book.)Content copyright MichelleRayburn.com
This post contains affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, if you click through and make a purchase, I may receive a commission. I sell my books via Amazon but I’m also a part of their “Associates” (i.e. affiliate) program which pays a commission on books and any other Amazon products people purchase via my links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Support the ShowEach episode of Life Repurposed has costs related to software, hosting, and production labor.
Would you consider becoming a sponsor on Patreon? Benefits include options such as live calls, bonus episodes, your product mention, and more. Plus full transparency on how funds are used.
In this episode:On this episode of Life Repurposed, host Michelle Rayburn shares exciting news about the new podcast season and the release of her new 6-week Bible study, Renewed. She talks about letting go of pride that keeps popping up in new areas. In addition, the episode explores resources various end-time theologies and their impact on Christians’ beliefs in a segment about what Michelle is currently reading or putting in her earbuds.
Download a Transcript(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.)
On this episode of Life Repurposed, host Michelle Rayburn shares exciting news about the new podcast season and her new Bible study, Renewed, which is now available. She opens up about her own struggles with achieving excellence without allowing it to become an issue of pride.
Michelle talks about the costs of podcasting, both in terms of time and finances along with her commitment to continue to offer listener-centered content. Overall, this episode offers a powerful mix of inspiration, reflection, and introspection.
In addition, the episode explores resources various end-time theologies and their impact on Christians’ beliefs. Beyond that, Michelle delves into the cost of podcast creation and how she wants to serve listeners in this season. Finally, the episode highlights what she’s reading, including the memoir, All My Knotted Up Life, by Beth Moore and two other books.
Michelle shares Chris Martin’s article “Ukrainians Aren’t Dancing on TikTok” that discusses important issues that are often overlooked in social media due to the distraction of viral entertainment. It examines how Americans often forget about the vast differences which exist when taking basic needs and safety into account.
Topics
[00:00:22] “New bible study released – renewed”
[00:03:57] “New podcast features”
[00:05:01] “The business side of podcasting: A breakdown”
[00:10:09] “Perspective gained from editing published book”
[00:16:40] “Beth Moore’s memoir”
[00:17:51] Uncovering long-term effects of abuse: Beth Moore’s story
[00:21:09] “Exploring rapture theology and church history”
[00:23:19] “Ukraine’s war contrasted with American TikTok craze”
[00:24:36] “Social media overlooks existential problems, says Chris Martin”
Memorable Quotes
Pride is such a thing for me…God is showing me that I can prize excellence without engaging pride.”— Michelle Rayburn
“The tunnel vision caused by our feeds leads us to care more about frivolities than we ought and completely ignore matters of greater importance because we simply forget they exist.” —Chris Martin, on Substack article
“The problems that get the most attention on social media are rarely existential because the people dealing with existential problems are too busy trying to keep existing to complain on the Internet.” —Chris Martin, on Substack article
Resources
- Subscribe to Michelle’s email list at michellerayburn.com to receive practical resources and devotionals.
- Check out Michelle’s new Bible study, Renewed, and download a free sample chapter at com/remade.
- Share episodes with friends and family to spread the message of hope in the trashy stuff of life.
Books and Articles:
Becoming Free Indeed by Ginger Duggar Vuolo
All My Knotted Up Life by Beth Moore
Fulfilled by Alexandra McKillop.
Holy Post Podcast episodes on end times (guest Daniel Hummel):
How Rapture Theology Shaped America Part 1
How Rapture Theology Shaped America Part 2
Untangled Faith Podcast on end times and Revelation (Scot McKnight) – Host Amy Fritz
Ukrainians Aren’t Dancing on TikTok by Chris Martin
A free worksheet related to this episode went out to Michelle’s mailing list. If you missed it, past worksheets are available forever to Patreon monthly subscribers at patreon.com/LifeRepurposed
(Please note: many books posted here on my blog are purely because I want to share them. Sometimes I receive free copies for review, and other times I purchase the books. Some I get from the library. Either way, any endorsement I offer here on the blog is simply because I want to talk about the book.)Content copyright MichelleRayburn.com
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Wrapping up season 5 and celebrating episode 150. Includes 10 life-repurposed lessons learned from guests this season, plus some other favorites.
Professional designer Tracy Steel applies design principles such as contrast and color to what God does in our lives. Hallway moments remind us that God's purposes stand, even in the waiting when nothing goes as planned.
Janell Wood took a meandering path from growing up in a Christian home, to questioning her faith, and then finding a real relationship with God. That's now a passion for helping others find something real.
True-to-life fiction, treasures in the everyday stuff of life, and seeking to honor God first with author Robin W. Pearson.
True-to-life fiction, treasures in the everyday stuff of life, and seeking to honor God first with author Robin W. Pearson.
Her husband's betrayal and sexual addiction affected their earlier years of marriage, but transformation ultimately turned it into a counseling ministry. Debra talks about how growth through pain and finding God’s purpose.
Organize your time, spaces, energy, and finances to experience your best purpose. A Christian approach to organizing and making room.
Pam's life repurposed story shows how God took the difficulties in her life and turned them into opportunities to chose joy.
When Tricia’s dreams and plans crumbled, God reminded her she could have another beautiful life after the heartbreak. Hope and renewal and breaking old patterns of thinking. *Note: this episode mentions suicide.
Guest Erin Todd takes a Christian approach to intuitive eating, helping you unlearn everything you were taught about calorie-counting and other aspects of diet culture and break free from weight stigma.
It's time to learn to differentiate between Christ and Christian culture. How do we follow God with consistency and honor when spiritual abuse is all too prevalent? Amy Fritz talks about untangling our faith from all that.
Gina lost her dad when she was a teenager in college. God has reclaimed and repurposed in her life to bring her to a relationship with a stepdad who she calls a second gift.
After the tragic death of her husband on their family's vacation in 2019, Clarissa Moll is helping others find grace in the grief after being blindsided by loss.
Are you using your strengths and abilities in a way that is uniquely aligned to your best life? This week, life coach Jenni Schubring talks about the CliftonStrengths assessment and how fulfilling life can be when we stop trying to be someone else.
Do you long to be gutsy enough to break free from the stuff that keeps you in defeat? Whether brokenness, trauma from abuse, or bondage from shame, you can experience freedom.
Voice actress Katie Leigh is known for the popular roles she has played in films and on radio dramas (including Connie Kendall in Adventures in Odyssey), but what started out as a gig to pay the bills led to a calling and the path to true identity. Along the way, God has shown her how to find true joy.
If you think you're somehow broken because you don't do spiritual growth habits the way everybody says you should, then you'll enjoy this interview with Gwen Jackson, who explains three types of habits: daily rhythms, weekly-monthly, and seasonal.
This bonus episode explains some changes coming to the Life Repurposed podcast, which includes a focus on fewer episodes with a continued focus on sharing great guest stories.
Don't delete your social media accounts and log off. Instead learn to use the platforms and don’t let the platforms use you. Helpful solutions from Chris Martin.
Have you ever wondered if God isn’t hearing your prayers? It’s more difficult than a country song about unanswered prayers being God’s greatest gifts. This episode explores questions about prayer.
Does it feel as if your spouse or your kids are home all the time? All. The. Time! Learn how to modify and remodel your attitude to make those tight spaces work in this conversation with author Cynthia Ruchti.
Practical tips for supporting a friend who is sorting through all the emotions that come along with healing from trauma.
Broken was once Bonnie Gray’s identity, but God repurposed it to bring beauty and hope to others. He used her broken pieces to shine the light of his love and encourage others hiding in loneliness.
Communication all jumbled up? Seven tips for how we can experience repurposed communication by being intentional and focused with conversations.
If you know God is real and that he is faithful, why do you keep imagining the worst? Through her journey with cancer, God taught Kristine Brown how to trust him like she means it.
Does life feel too crazy to keep your marriage strong sometimes? This episode includes tips for busy couples who want to hang on when life makes them dizzy.
Have you ever paused to consider if you're fully using your gifts and abilities? Do you go after what most fulfills your passions and desires? Today, Esther Littlefield and I talk about what it means to pursue the ideal life. Not perfect, not utopia, but ideal.
When was the last time you said, “I’m bored”? Are your brain and schedule so full that you have no space to dream, solve, innovate, or create? In this solo episode, learn how bringing back boredom can be a good thing.
While Jerry was overseas as a soldier in combat, he hoped that if something should happen to him his wife would find a better husband. He didn't know God planned to make him into that person.
Have you ever stopped to ask why you do certain things? Maybe it’s time for a second look at how you use your resources and energy. Explore your motivation by looking at how the small purposes add up to bigger purposes.
In this episode:
A little bit of gratitude as we wrap up this podcast season. Plus three tips to keep your sanity over the holidays, and a free bonus.
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life This is the last episode in season 4 of this podcast. Most of this season has been dedicated to featuring the stories from authors in the Life, Repurposed book. This episode drops on Thanksgiving day, so it’s appropriate to take some time to offer gratitude. Gratitude:
Thank you, listeners, for downloading a record number of episodes this year. You have downloaded episodes more than 15,000 times! Thank you to all who have joined the Life, Repurposed Facebook community since it launched earlier this year. We’re just starting to grow! Thank you to my sister Becki who has been assisting virtually with getting show notes posted and social media posts added. Thank you for leaving reviews and sending comments. I do this for you, sweet listener, and hearing from you lets me know I’m hitting the mark and fulfilling my mission.
Celebrations:
In March, I launched the Life, Repurposed book with 34 stories written by women who have experienced the power of transformation in their lives. These stories of grace, hope, and restored faith are making a difference. The book is available at retailers around the world, and is also on Audible too. This fall, I won first place in two book awards and placed as a finalist in a third for my book Classic Marriage: Staying in Love as Your Odometer Climbs. I am thankful for this great honor. I’ll be featuring more content from that book in coming episodes.
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Life, Repurposed Opportunities:
I’m looking for episode sponsors for 2022. If you have a brand, business, podcast, book, or product you’d like to feature in a spot, please contact me about sponsorship rates. You can find a link in the show notes to contact me, or go to michellerayburn.com/sponsors If you’re a friend of the show and would like to offset the cost of weekly production with a donation, you can use the “Buy Me a Coffee” button in the show notes. With the Life, Repurposed book, I’ve been donating a portion of the royalties to Destiny Rescue to help with rescuing victims of human trafficking. If you’d like to contribute to the fundraiser with more donations, I invite you to check out http://go.destinyrescue.org/liferepurposed.
3 Tips to Keep Your Sanity Over the Holidays This next month is a blur of activity for most of us. We don’t want to lose the momentum we’ve had over the last year, yet when we get busy, many of us tend to coast. And there are so many reasons to feel stressed.
Darla Grieco went as a chaperone on her daughter’s school field trip as a lonely, broken woman, wondering what could possibly be next in her life. It led to rekindling a life-long dream when she decided to chase it!
When Jodie Cooper found out her son was on the autism spectrum, it magnified her struggle with anger. Her marriage was already rocky. But instead of causing everything to fall apart, it forced her to face the challenges head on, and in the process, she found truth faith and discovered hope.
After trying to keep all the artificial rules that went along with Christian faith, Michele Morin needed a fresh start when she found herself disillusioned. She started over with a renovated version of habits and spiritual practices.
Robin Seaton adopted a son with autism, and God used some of their most difficult experiences to make significant changes in her spiritual growth and his. Where loneliness and frustration once reigned, now there is peace and joy.
Over chocolate cake and lemon bars, Sue Donaldson creates heart connections with others who want to know what she once asked: Is God real? Sue opens doors to communication while she opens her home and has conversations with others around her table.
Kathy Carlton Willis isn’t waiting for life to become perfect. Instead, she’s asking God to use her broken as she fulfills her purpose and calling.
When Joanie Shawhan needed rejuvenation as a caregiver, she found that practicing gratitude made all the difference. She returns for an encore episode this week.
Are you ready to tackle big challenges and pursue your passion and purpose? This week I talked about a big decision I had to make in order to pursue the purpose God has given me. Now it’s your turn!
Where Meaghan Jackson’s life was once overwhelming and chaotic, now she has replaced that with a peaceful existence where she coaches others. As a highly sensitive person, she has coping skills to keep her mindset in the right place.
Marlene was missing for 8 months after a trafficker kidnapped her and took her away. Now she rescues others from trafficking, and she’s found hope and healing through faith. She's a "sur-thriver."
Becky Hofstad was 39 when she met her husband after a long season of wondering if she would ever marry. From marriage, to infertility, to adoption, she has has discovered that God might simply delay what she thinks he has denied.
Who needs a new year to set goals? You can get started at any time! Just make sure they are EASY goals. In this episode: tips and resources to accomplish what you’ve been dreaming about.
When a painful chronic condition changed Amy Marcoux’s active lifestyle, she needed a reminder that her life has purpose, even on the difficult days. She repurposes her own pain to inspire others.
Terri Prahl knows what it’s like to leave the hospital with empty arms after the loss of a child. She talks about processing through grief and learning to trust God fully amid unimaginable emotional pain.
Maureen Hager understands what it means to land in the wrong place when searching for connection. Her search led her to a motorcycle gang, two gunshot wounds, and eventually to Jesus.
Whatever life phase you’re in, why wait for someday to pursue that thing you’ve always wanted to do? This week, Deb DeArmond talks about making the rest of your life the best of your life.
Do we make productivity into a gospel? Being busy doesn’t make you more valuable. Checking boxes or being prolific doesn’t make you a better person.
Betty Predmore tells the story of how she reacted in a pivotal moment when she could either blow up or find the humor in it. She says we are able to and worthy of making a change to respond differently from anger.
Sarah Buckland is a Jamaican millennial who is passionately pursuing God and sharing the message he has placed on her heart. But when she pushed herself too hard, she learned how to make rest a priority.
If you could change something about how your church perceives mental health, what would you change? This week, Robyn Mulder talks about her journey and how she’s helping others find hope for their struggles with depression.
Jenn Uren, the host of This Mom Knows podcast, loves helping women entrepreneurs establish systems. Her goal is to help people get unstuck and move forward with their goals.
This week features guest host Phil Rayburn interviewing Michelle for the 100th episode of Life, Repurposed. Enjoy a few laughs as we celebrate!
She climbed the corporate ladder, but at the top, her heart’s longing was to be at home with her family. Natalie Lavelock tells how she took the leap and left the safety of her job. Now, her message is that your real identity is not in what you do.
In my attempt to be “helpful,” I know I sometimes offer solutions when someone else was looking for empathy. If we listen and learn, we might discover the true needs of others and find space for understanding. Will you join me in practicing that skill?
In our conversation this week, Susan Macias shares practical wisdom about changing our perspective on mistakes, setting our sights on something other than perfection, and letting God redeem what we thought to be ruin.
What if you could repurpose family conflicts into personal growth, even if the relationships won’t ever be perfect? This week, Kolleen Lucariello talks about how she learned to see with eyes of grace. She also shares how she’s discovered a secure identity after struggling to find purpose.
There was a time when Teresa Janzen thought she was disqualified from serving God. Until she realized we’re all flawed people, and God can repurpose our mistakes and set us on a new path when we surrender to him. Now she’s helping others find grace.
Your version of creativity might not include paint, glue, or words on paper, but I believe you have imagination waiting to be tapped somewhere. Here are 10 ideas for how to wake it up.
Linda Kruschke lived trapped in fear because of the trauma she’d experienced in the past. But when she let the secrets out and spoke freely, she started hearing “me too” long before #MeToo was a hashtag. This week, she talks about her journey to living fearlessly.
Have you ever stopped to think about what you’ll need to accomplish your goals and dreams? This week’s podcast covers how to work through the factors that could stand in the way. And there’s a custom free resource to help you work on your goals!
When we surrender our failures to him, God can bring out the best in us! If you’ve ever felt less-than because of failure, be sure to tune in for wise words from Wendy Pope to discover your hidden potential.
You probably have an inner circle of close friends, but have you paused to think of what qualities make your dearest friendships work? In this episode, you’ll be encouraged to reflect on those relationships and look for ways to become a better friend as well.
What would happen if we made it our goal to be the exception when it comes to negative opinions about Christians? That’s exactly what Chris Staron does. He’s also living out his faith as he studies history for his podcast episodes while trusting God for his future steps.
Can you imagine how wonderful our world would be if we intentionally looked for creative ways to bless someone else? The ideas in this episode give you a starting place to be deliberate about encouragement.
What do we do when life has so many uncertainties, when scary diagnoses threaten our peace, or when everything feels upside down? My guest Nancy Kay Grace knows, and she runs to God. This week, we talk about her recurring diagnosis of tongue cancer and how God has taught her to pursue his grace above all.
How do you achieve balance in life while also reaching your big goals? Sometimes it takes an intense sprint and a lot of hustle. But with a solid action plan, focused efforts, and a commitment to stay charged, you’ll be ready to go the distance.
Rosie Williams was serving in Christian ministry and working herself to the breaking point while unraveling on the inside. When she promised to spend a minimum of 10 minutes a day for the rest of her life in prayer and Bible study, it changed everything.
There is so much we can learn from someone else’s story! I’m excited to introduce a new project featuring the stories of 34 amazing women who have seen God at work in their lives. Hear the introduction to the book Life, Repurposed in this podcast episode.
When life feels like a crisis overload, God is still there. That’s what Grace Fox has learned from her years of trusting God through hardships. In this episode, we talked about where God has been faithful, and she shares about her new book, Finding Hope in Crisis.
Do you ever feel spiritually numb, as if you’re overloaded on crisis and you’re done with it? Does it feel as though the darkness is too much, and self-preservation is your only hope? This week, I want to talk about how we might be faith sleepwalkers when life stresses us out. Let’s flip on the light and wake up to what we might be missing.
This week’s guest, Eric Nevins, was miserable working in a call center for nothing but a paycheck. Or was that all? God used his time to give him the skills he would eventually need for his true passion.
What if saying no more often isn’t the answer? Maybe we just need a better yes. If you’re ready to say no to things that someone needs FROM you and yes to better opportunities FOR you, this is episode is for you. Stop closing the wrong doors and discover a more hopeful future.
Could you use a little more kindness on social media? Would you appreciate less arguing and more objectivity? Daniel Darling talks this week about how we use our words in the digital space and how we can change our own behavior to make a difference.
In this episode:
If we go through life reacting to circumstances like emotional babies, drama will follow us wherever we go. In this episode, we explore ways to change from being highly reactive into people who can cope using emotional maturity and self-control.
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life
I was recently watching my granddaughter as her mommy and daddy played with her. How quickly her face could change from a lit-up smile combined with a belly laugh to a pout and a whimper. It took literally seconds for her to react and change from happy to sad. With her immature emotions, she’s naturally affected by what goes on in the room. If the adults sound happy, she plays happily on the floor, but if our tone escalates in a serious conversation her reaction, reflects that tone. Because she’s emotionally immature, she’s highly sensitive to being reactive. She doesn’t have the ability to ration or reason. She doesn’t talk herself into a different state of mind. It’s all reactionary. As long as one of the adults offered a toy, made a funny noise, sang a song, or tickled her tummy, she stayed happy. She could be diverted by a noise or a smile in a positive way. Or diverted by irritation in a negative way. Have you ever stopped to notice how often adults still react as if they have the emotional control of a 5-month-old baby? I say we, but I mean me. How quickly do we flip to drama mode? Examples:
Triggered by something on social media to tap out an angry or insulting reply Suddenly crying because someone frustrates me (raising my hand here) Socially overwhelmed and either withdraw or lash out Overcome by someone else’s drama and make it worse by joining Fight or flight takes over with any hint of vulnerability Feeling unsafe about someone else’s tone and fighting back
While some of this is rooted in past emotional pain that could require the help of a therapist, I think some is just because we chose to be emotionally immature. So, let’s talk about how we can get in a better place.
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Life, Repurposed Let’s walk through a couple of simple steps that can help us process.
Name and recognize feelings. I struggle with this more than I once thought. When someone says, “What are you feeling right now?” I’m not always able to answer that well. Practice being other-centered. It’s natural to talk on and on about ourselves. When someone asks about something, we might give a long answer. But what would happen if I spent a whole phone call with a friend talking about me? What if I missed something in her voice that sounded as if she were about to cry? I try to think of a way to volley the conversation,
Kevin White found himself in a performance trap in bondage to the fear of failure. Fired from the ministry, this painful experience afforded him the freedom to live generously. He asked God to give his family food so that others could eat. In one year, they went from a family needing food to sharing food with over 500 families per month.
Has comparison kept you from fulfilling the purpose God intended for you? Do you experience highs and lows in your positive outlook based on appearance or body or image? This week, we continue from last week with talking about how to break the chains of unhealthy comparison and experience God’s best for us.
Get to know Heather Creekmore, a writer, podcaster, and former contestant on the Netflix show Nailed It! Heather shared about how she overcame her own struggles and now encourages other women as they wrestle with body image and comparison.
Let's launch this year well! Sometimes, we start out with great plans, but they get off track quickly. In this episode, Michelle talks about the art of setting goals, negotiating time, and getting things done. Don't miss info about a brand new productivity planner too!
Michelle talks with her husband, Phil, about the different types of laugh languages spouses might have. Phil brings his usual dry humor as they chat on their anniversary about how laughter has helped them keep their relationship strong for three decades.
This week, it's a Christmas variety show with some of my friends from the Christian Podcasters Association. Several friends have each put together a 5-minute Christmas episode for my listeners. Enjoy the music, radio theatre, and Christmas reflections.
In this episode:
How can we respond when we're at a crossroads, unsure of what to do next? What if we cave to stress or mess up? In this episode, guest Amber Cullum talks with me about how she found that God's grace was enough when she could never be enough. And she shared how a gratitude list helps to keep her in the right mindset.
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life This week, podcaster and speaker Amber Cullum (Grace Enough Podcast) shared how she went through rebellion in her early teens and then discovered how Jesus could make all the difference when she was in college. Through a campus ministry, Fellowship of Christian Athletes, she built relationships with friends who played a significant role in helping her find the path to biblical truth. In this episode, Amber talked about how our before and after stories are really a daily thing, not a spectacular event that we look back to. Each day we choose to be a kinder, more loving, more obedient, and more faith-filled person than we were the day before.
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Life, Repurposed About Amber Cullum: Amber Cullum is the host of Grace Enough Podcast. She is first a child of God. She is wife to Sam, a mom of 3, and a physical therapist turned stay-at-home mom. She loves connecting women with God, other people, and resources to spur them on in their walks with Jesus and remind them that God's grace is enough. Listen in to the episode as Amber shares from her heart about how God has changed her, repurposed her career path, and transformed her into someone who leans on Jesus for guidance and hope.
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In this episode:
Very little about this year has been easy. But it can still be good. What if it is all an opportunity to become better people? What if the fire is what refines us? In this episode, I talk through options for how we can respond, and I leave you with a resource about going through trials.
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life I’m going to be a bit reflective here, but I wonder if 2020 could be a collective testing of faith and grit. The Bible talks in numerous places about placing gold and silver in the fire to burn off impurities. Once it comes out of the fire, what remains is something much more pure. Before I leave 2020 behind, I want to ask if I’m coming out of it a better person, someone more equipped to be like Jesus in the world. I wonder if my faith is stronger and if my compassion is greater. Isaiah 48:10 talks about being tested in the furnace of affliction. Not one of us is exempt from hardship or trials. Some of you have been tested in that furnace. If this has been a terrible year for you, my heart goes out to you. I can’t know what it is like for each person or know what you’ve all experienced. I’m patiently waiting for the opportunity to get back to something that feels more normal. I long for those who are lonely to feel fulfilled by friendships. Let’s look at five ways that we can look at this past year, or at any season that brings trials, and then you choose which perspective you want to adopt as you wrap up the year. Spoiler alert: they aren’t all good options.
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Life, Repurposed
We could look at the past twelve months as a dumpster fire. We could focus on the horrific loss, the sad separations, and the financial blows. Those are there for sure. And they aren’t going away. But imagine what it would be like if after we come through a fire, we keep talking about the fire and miss the other parts. We could blow up and use our anger to vent our feelings. We could rant on social media, argue with people we love and call them idiots. We could even claim righteous indignation and say we’re entitled to behave that way. Sort of adding fuel to the fire. If this has worked, I’d love to hear from someone who achieved positive results through this method. We can live in denial and pretend that all is well when it isn’t. We could ignore the pain and stuff our emotions and hope it all goes away. We could use our energy and resources to rise up to the challenges of the circumstances. This might border on pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps though. Dig in. Work harder. Be stoic. Press on.
You might have figured out that none of these is an ideal way to deal with a difficult year.
In this episode:
In this episode, I sit down with Dena Dyer, author of Wounded Women of the Bible: Finding Hope When Life Hurts. She shares her journey through postpartum depression and is so vulnerable in telling her story. Listen in to learn how to find hope and healing in the midst of depression and anxiety.
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life In her late 20's, Dena Dyer experienced severe post-partum depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. In this episode, we chatted about how she found hope and healing in that difficult experience. She shared that through the wisdom of a godly counselor, supportive family and friends, and medicine, God healed her of childhood wounds. He now allows her to minister to others who are struggling with mental health issues. Dena was vulnerable and transparent, and we talked through the difference between using Scripture to shut someone down without offering true empathy and when we read Scripture and the Holy Spirit uses that to teach us something. We talked about the danger of "prescribing" to someone else and using Scripture like a bandaid. That can almost come across as shaming. Instead, we can offer true caring and empathy. One of Dena's statements that really resonated with me was: "God sees you, he loves you, and you are cared for in ways you cannot imagine." — Dena Dyer Listen to the episode to learn more about Dena's experience and how others can find hope too. It was a delightful conversation and she has the sweetest heart.
Editor's note: Since the recording date of this episode and not long before it aired, Dena's father passed away. I want to send out heartfelt sympathy to Dena and her family. —Michelle
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Life, Repurposed
About Dena Dyer:
She is an award-winning author of ten books and hundreds of articles, as well as a professional speaker and writing coach. But most important—she's the wife of a (hilarious) musician hubby and mom to two young adult sons. She also has a very spoiled puppy, Sully, who keeps her company while she writes. Dena loves all things British, vintage/resale shopping, and spending time with her friends and family. Be sure to connect with Dena on her website and on Instagram @denadyer
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In this episode:
This episode is packed with ideas for fun and creative things you can do with friends and family from a distance. If your pandemic holiday needs something a lot more interesting than a video chat, you'll want to check it out. Plus, an Advent resource from author Jane Rubietta, and a secret discount offer on one of my books hidden in the episode. It's a must-listen episode!
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life Psst! I encourage you to listen to the audio on this episode. I have a special offer for one of my books hidden in the episode. It's like an Easter egg hunt . . . or a Christmas egg hunt. Listen on your favorite platform to discover how to get a great deal when you purchase Christmas gifts for friends and family!
We're about to get into some fantastic ideas for how we can do Christmas in new ways. But since this Christmas probably isn't like past years, it's important to first acknowledge what we have lost and how we feel about it. And then we need to figure out how to make the most of it. If we stay stuck in what we have lost and how we feel about it, we miss out on opportunities to find joy and blessing. Change can be good. The other thing that I think is important to mention is a little bit of a lecture. Some of us are acting as if it isn’t fair that we won’t be together with our loved ones at the holidays. Let me remind you of how this has worked for many holidays for some families:
Military families often have an empty chair at the table because someone is stationed overseas. Missionaries and expatriates spend almost every holiday away from extended family. Some families are large and spread out.
So if this is the first Christmas in your life that you aren’t able to be with the people you usually are with, I encourage you to stretch a little and put yourself in the shoes of someone who is never home for Christmas. And then, find a way to support and encourage that person or family. Use your disappointment as a springboard to bless someone else. That’s repurposing Christmas! Now, let’s move on to the ideas!
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Life, Repurposed
Last week, we had Stephenie Hovland as a guest, and I asked her to share some ideas for ways that people can get creative. She said her family has a tradition of watching Elf every year, but one of her daughters now lives in California, so by using a watch part app, they can still do this. There are several ways to host a watch party. These are just a few of them:
This can be done with an app called Watch with Friends. This can be installed on Apple TV, Roku, or Chrome. Netflix does it via an extension called Teleparty (formerly Netflix Party) and everyone has to have a Netflix...
In this episode:
Author Stephenie Hovland returns this week to talk about how she changed her mindset about Christmas from “If you can’t do it all, do more” to a more balanced approach. We also discussed how we can prepare now for the necessary celebration changes in a pandemic. There's a giveaway this week and some great resources.
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life My guest Stephenie Hovland is back on the show — this time to talk about preparing for Christmas. In a time when our traditions might need to change a bit, we can still have a wonderful Christmas holiday. Stephenie shared about the year when she crashed and burned and had to rethink how she spent the holidays. Her family ultimately discovered that they didn't need the over-the-top Christmas they had grown accustomed to with excess bakery, hand-stamped greeting cards, homemade gifts, lights, trees, the whole works. I could totally relate when Stephenie said that when she became overwhelmed, instead of doing less, her mindset shifted to: If you can't do it all, do more. It might sound crazy, but I know exactly how her mind works. Recovering perfectionist here!
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Life, Repurposed Stephenie gave some tips for how we can make advent meaningful at home, not just at church. She also shared an idea for how we can create a top three list of what really matters to us and then find creative ways to make those things happen. For example, if family is important and we can't be together, then a priority is figuring out a different way to still feel connected. She personally makes sure that her advent devotions are meaningful in a way that help her connect with Jesus more — one of her top three. I also loved the idea of creating a mission statement for your family or yourself just for the holiday season. It brings more meaning and helps us to stay focused on what is important.
A pastor’s wife, former teacher, and mother of two grown girls, Stephenie Hovland helps others connect to God. She finds unique ways each of us can kindle the fires of our faith-filled lives. She’s the first to admit she has plenty to work on. Join Stephenie as she walks alongside other Christian women, sharing weaknesses and strengths, supporting one another. You can find Stephenie’s devotion booklets at CreativeCommunications.com, and you can find Stephenie at StephenieHovland.com. You can connect with Stephenie on Facebook on her author page.
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In this episode:
This is my story of pursuing biblical truth but getting sidetracked by legalism and pride along the way. Discover how God revealed my heart condition to me and began his process of transforming me into a more compassionate and graceful human.
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life I started speaking for women’s groups and showing garage-sale decorating ideas and then I would tie in a message about how God turns our trash to treasure and turns ashes into something beautiful (Isaiah 61:3).Eventually I turned that into my first book and then more book ideas came later. But there’s a part of my journey I don’t always talk about. I’d like to talk about how I can relate to the Pharisees in the New Testament and about how God woke me up to realize how much like them I was. Having grown up in the church, I knew that we couldn’t earn our salvation. And we couldn’t earn God’s love. And yet I became so focused on following the rules and being a “good Christian” that my actions demonstrated a fear that if I messed up, God wouldn’t love me anymore. I had been teaching Bible studies and Sunday School, leading the worship team at church, speaking for women’s events, and writing devotionals. Yes, I had given my life to Christ and loved him. But I had a lot of head knowledge about the Bible and a love for Christ that didn’t include a deep love for people who didn’t know Jesus. When I was in college, I was part of a campus ministry and we would go from dorm to dorm, knocking on doors and sharing a little booklet with the gospel message in it. I led dorm Bible studies and was discipled by a staff leader who was a strong godly influence for me. But looking back, I could see that my mindset wasn’t right. There was a sense of pride and religiosity that flavored my motives. I couldn’t see it then, but I’m sure it left a bitter taste for many of the non-Christians I met. Preaching at people is not the same as sharing the love of Jesus. Later, I read a Scripture that I’d read before, but it affected me in a different way. Jesus said, “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’ “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Luke 18:9–14) It opened my eyes to the truth that I was like that Pharisee and it gave me a sick feeling. I had thanked God that I wasn’t like those other students who got drunk every weekend, or the ones who lived with their boyfriends. I had carried it into my adulthood and was happy if church was full of Christians and the “messy” people stayed on the fringes. It’s important to note that the Pharisees were religious zealots who thought they were doing something good for God by upholding the laws and placing them on people like a heavy weight. They were misguided, and wrong, but they thought they were honoring God with their actions. There are many church people who think they are doing the right thing by putting people’s sins on display and keeping messy people out of the church. I’m not about bashing people or pointing fingers. But I long for the universal church to welcome broken people and for the church to be a safe place to find healing and forgiveness. I’m sad that there are so many people out there who have been wounded by the church instead of taking refuge in it. The sin of being a Pharisee (a religious hypocrite) is just as awful as any sin of s...
In this episode:
How do we move forward in a culture where we disagree, where we are deeply discouraged, and where tension is off the charts? We have choice in how we contribute to conversations and in how we adjust our own attitudes. Also, you don't want to miss this week's resource that asks the question: what if Jesus was serious in what he taught?
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life What renovating are were going to need to work on in the coming months? I recorded this episode on the night before the election because I didn't want my words tainted by any results. Stay with me. This is NOT about politics or about the election. Are you sick of that too? What I’m going to talk about today is the way we repurpose and renovate after things get ugly. How we move forward from something that has a lot of tension involved. No matter how we look at it, this year has been one of struggle, challenges, situations that make us question humanity, circumstances that break down. Messed up situations. And the reason this is on my mind when I write this is that I don’t think election day is going to be our most beautiful day. So when Thursday comes and this episode airs, I want to be prepared with a plan to move forward. I don’t know if the person I voted for will win the election. I don’t know if the people I know will be happy about the candidate the wins. Will family holidays be tainted yet by conversations laced with venom and harsh words? Or will they be sweetened by kindness and love, filled with patience, and abundant with grace? I don’t know. And because I don’t know the outcome of the election, I can’t slant this episode in any way to sound as if I’m talking at my listeners. I’m doing this to remind myself of what it means to live out Colossians 4:6: Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. Some days I want to melt into a puddle of tears because my heart breaks for how it must be for people who are teetering in their faith to observe people who carry the name of Christian and who don’t speak like Christ would. If there are doubts about God’s love and grace, the behavior of his kids aren’t going to help to ease those doubts. Saying ugly things or spewing hate in the name of Jesus is like dressing up in a stage costume and pretending to love Jesus. That’s why he called some of the religious people hypocrites – play actors. Merriam-Webster says the word hypocrite ultimately came into English from the Greek word hypokrites, which means “an actor” or “a stage player. I would know, because I’ve been one. I'm in the process of shedding that identity. Peeling off the costume is painful. Looking in the mirror without it can be nauseating. We can’t go back and change. But we can move forward.
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In this episode:
In this episode, I share an announcement about a new project related to this podcast that is just launched. If you like to write, you'll want to learn more! I'm also announcing a new way to connect as a Life, Repurposed community. Yay!
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life When I started my podcast 2 years ago, it was because I wanted to extend the message from my book The Repurposed and Upcycled Life into a forum where I could inspire listeners but also to feature other people’s stories and resources. I love how that continues to develop as more guests will be coming in the next months, and episodes will continue to offer practical advice for everyday living. In the episode, I mentioned the Christian Podcaster’s Association. Learn more I have something new to tell you about today that will expand the reach of Life, Repurposed. The thread that ties everything together in much of my writing work is how God turns trash into treasure, our junk repurposed for his glory. Borrowing from the popular trends of decorating with vintage junk, our stories show that flawed people can be used by God and that his power is made perfect in weakness. I started out as a decorating blogger and ended up turning that into a much more meaningful message. Here’s the exciting news. I’m going to release a book in 2021 that features the stories of others who have experienced God’s repurposing. And I’m extending the invitation to submit stories for consideration to my writer friends and also my readers. I know some of you out there have stories to share. Some of you are excellent writers but haven’t yet published anything. I’ve just posted a call for submissions for a book called: Life, Repurposed: Stories of Grace, Hope, and Restored Faith.
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Life, Repurposed This will focus on stories of everyday people where God’s renovation is demonstrated in their before and after stories. These aren’t necessarily dramatic, but they could be. Sometimes God changes an attitude or a circumstance in a way that helps us to mature spiritually, develop deeper faith, or discover a new purpose. Your journey can inspire others. Stories in this book will feature how our imperfections and struggles are part of the way we learn and grow. The change in us points other people toward God and encourages hope. This is not a devotional but a Christian living book. It isn’t a Bible study either. The chapters are a little longer than devotionals and more story based. They will help us explore faith from a place where people who haven’t grown up in church will still feel comfortable connecting with the writers and applying the takeaways to life.
In this episode:
Sue Donaldson says, "Surrender every day. We have disappointments, but we surrender over and over." On this week's episode, we talked about how she walked through a period of doubt and how God brought her through that in steps that surprised her. We also talked about how taking the next step is where faith comes in.
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life My guest this week is Sue Donaldson. In this episode, we talked about how Sue learned how to trust God while she was single and waiting for him to show her who she was to marry. She was 35 when she and her husband married. Sue shared how she had grown up in the church but experienced doubts about faith after graduating from high school. While at a Christian college and participating the traveling musical ministry group, she was afraid to tell others that she was having doubts. But through a series of God events, he gave her reassurance from trusted mentors that he doubts were not too big for God to handle. Sue would eventually teach at a Christian high school and then go on to ministry overseas with Wyclife Bible Translators in Brazil. About Sue: Speaker, author, Sue Donaldson and her husband, Mark, live in San Luis Obispo, California. Sue taught high school English, part of the time in Brazil with Wycliffe Bible Translators. She and her husband, Mark, have raised 3 daughters who keep them at the bank and on their knees. Sue loves connecting people to one another, to God, and to His Word, and has been speaking for the last 20 years or so with long pauses for babies, diapers and soccer pasta parties. She blogs at WelcomeHeart: Knowing and Showing the Heart of God and hosts a weekly podcast: Make it Count: Living a Legacy Life.
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Life, Repurposed A ministry friend once wrote to Sue, "It's a new day and I'm trusting God." She says that's a beautiful reminded that we need to trust God for one step, one day, at a time. Sometimes God's plans surprise us or take us in unexpected places. Sue said she's been "knocking on the door of speaking" more because that's her real passion. But so much was canceled because of COVID-19 this year. That changed the opportunities. She said the Lord spoke to her one day and she sensed him say, "You're knocking on this door and I'm coming in the back window." Her "back window" is that she has been writing a lot more right now. She's also been inviting people to meet in her back yard to continue her mentoring opportunities while following safe practices for COVID-19. She's found new ministry opportunities despite obstacles. Sue mentors people of all ages and reminds them that our legacy begins at any age. That isn't only for old people.
In this episode:
When we pause to think about it, having "just enough" is actually an abundance. Scarcity says there isn't enough, but even with a very little, God can provide even more than we really need when we practice generosity and faith.
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life Last week I talked about Blue Light Specials. I would like to continue the conversation just a bit as I talk about something from childhood you might be able to relate to. Growing up, I learned that we had to wear it out or outgrow something before we bought a new one. When I was in elementary school, I was hard on boots. Sometimes boots were hand-me-downs that had already had some wear! When the soles started cracking, the moisture from snow-melted, slushy puddles on the playground would seep into the boots and squish around in the woolen liners. I wasn’t the only one whose socks left a drippy trail from the coat racks to my desk where my sneakers waited for me after recess. Can you recall the smell of wet socks in the classroom after recess? But those boots were worn, not worn out. We couldn’t afford new boots, so my mother, like many other mothers, sent us to school with used bread bags on our feet. We’d slip them over our dry socks and then slide them into the boots. Not only were our feet dry after recess, but the slippery bread bags made it easier to put on boots that were getting just a little bit too small as well. I learned many ways of being frugal from my mother. But I didn’t know extreme frugality until I met my mother-in-law. I’m recording this on the 15-year anniversary of when she passed away from cancer, so this is a little tribute to her. If Joy were still living now, I think she could try out for the show “Extreme Couponing” and make it. She wouldn’t purchase anything or eat out anywhere unless she had a coupon for it. Any grocery shopping trip with her meant making at least five different stops so that she could use her coupons, get her milk card punched, or get the best price on sugar. Her extreme frugality also included a basement full of stuff she bought simply because it was free with a rebate. She was as pale as never-seen-sunshine came, but in her basement stash, she had pantyhose for people of different shades of ethnic backgrounds. She also had foundation make-up for brown skin and boxes of L’Oreal hair color of shades she’d never use in a million years because the shelves were emptied of her favorite platinum blonde and honey brown. It didn’t matter. It was free. I laughed when I found some test-market feminine supplies on the shelf. Those never got used because was already starting menopause, but she bought them anyway. Because they were free. Those sat right next to the packages of Depends undergarments on the shelf. I figured she was stocking up for someday because no one ever used those. When asked about her strange collection of freebies, she’d say, “Well, you never know.” There she was, caught in the phase between menstruating and incontinence and she had supplies for both, but needed neither. We weren’t sure what she planned to do with the fifteen tape measures and slew of screw drivers and hammers that were free at the home improvement store. Nor the 20 packages of light bulbs that didn’t fit a single fixture in the house. But, for years, I didn’t have to buy shampoo, or lotion, or shaving cream, or toothbrushes. I just went down her basement and chose what I liked. For us, frugality sprung out of necessity. The money simply wasn’t there to pay full price for name brand clothing or household appliances that might be used only a few times per year. It wasn’t there for my mother or my grandmother, or my mother-in-law, and it wasn’t in my bank account either. But circumstances provided us with opportunities to bond that we may not have otherwise had.
In this episode:
From blue light specials to garage sales, I've enjoyed making the most of living on a budget! Sometimes, life's challenges have hidden fun and joy. There is no second best when we embrace our present circumstances as part of the adventure!
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life I grew up post Vietnam War. It wasn’t like growing up in the depression, but my parents are boomers who were raised by parents that grew up in the depression. And they knew how to save money. One of my mother’s favorite lines was, “We can’t afford that.” She was right. But I resented that phrase as a child. To me, she may have just as well said, “We’re dirt poor and you’re gonna have to learn to like it.” But I didn’t like it. I wanted to be able to walk into JC Penney and buy a size 6X Garanimals pink and yellow outfit off the rack like the other little girls did. Then, I didn’t know what the X was for, but now that I’m older and I remember my somewhat sturdy body, I suspect it was X for extra generously cut in the seat and the waist. Back then, I didn’t care. As long as it said Garanimals in the tag, I wanted it. My mother sewed a lot of my clothing. Now, it’s fashionable to sew one’s own clothing because fabric costs as much as caviar, but in the 70’s and 80’s, it meant you were poor. “Mom, can I just have a store bought dress? I’d plead. “We can’t afford it.” Little did I know, someday I’d look back at all of the darling things my mother made for me and remember the many hours she spent hunched over a sewing machine and appreciate all of it. But I didn’t appreciate it then. I had some store-bought outfits, especially for the first day of school. I loved having a pair of jeans so new that they turned my legs blue before the end of the day. We shopped a lot at K-Mart because they had blue light specials. I think blue light specials were designed to keep housewives fit and children cranky. My brother and I would follow mom around, ducking in and out of clothing racks, listening to Debby Boone sing “You Light Up My Life” on the overhead speakers. My little sister chattered in the shopping cart and suddenly the PA system would click, go silent for a brief moment, then give out a loud whine of feedback before a man would announce, “Attention please. There is a Blue Light special on curtains in aisle six.” Mothers everywhere raced for aisle six. They didn’t have to go jogging for exercise if they shopped at K-Mart. If children came with rubber arms, they might be better equipped for following maniac mothers who yanked them by the hand and made off for aisle six. Smaller children lagged behind, dragging tired little feet, slurping sticky lollipops their mothers had bought to keep them quiet. “Mommy! Wait!” They whined. Inevitably, the Blue Light Special in aisle six turned out to be the world’s most hideous set of olive green and orange plaid curtains, but the sales associate waiting by the flashing blue light couldn’t keep up with the women waiting in line to get their discounted curtains marked with a sticker from his hand-held sticker clicker. Well, that’s not what it was called, but I was fascinated with its ability to spit out price tags one after another. Chu-chick. Chu-chick. Chu-chick.
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In this episode:
This week, we celebrate the second birthday of this podcast! Included in this episode are short clips from my favorite interviews from the past two years. Enjoy!
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life Happy birthday to Life, Repurposed! This podcast is 2 years old on September 29. The format for this week’s show is a little different in that I’m going to share some clips from the past two years. It’s been a fun two years of expanding from every other week to weekly, upgrading recording equipment, and going audio only (no YouTube channel in season 2 and 3). Thank you for your support! Here's a peek at where the recording happens:
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Life, Repurposed This episode includes clips from: Joanie Shawhan from episode 15 Letitia Suk from episode 20 Kathy Carlton Willis from episode 21 Courtney Ellis from episodes 19 and 22 Jill Savage from episode 38 Phil Rayburn (my hubby) from episode 49 Blythe Daniel and Dr. Helen McIntosh from episode 54 Jane Rubietta from episode 56
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Recommended Resources If you're looking for links to the resources in each of the featured episodes, you'll find them with the articles linked to each episode listed above. You can also find all books and resources featured on my blog with this handy link. Each episode has resources at the end with easy links. In the birthday episode, I mentioned a brand new freebie on my website. At my Classic Marriage book page, you'll find a link to this printable photo booth set of pages to celebrate by taking your own photos to share with friends in post on ...
In this episode:
Being shut in doesn't have to mean being shut out. In this episode, author Kathy Carlton Willis and I chat about how she's made the most of needing to stay isolated during COVID-19 and how she's made it into a ministry to others. Get practical ideas for how you can serve someone who's shut in at home.
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life In this episode, I chatted with author Kathy Carlton Willis about how COVID-19 affected her personally, and we talked about what it is like living with chronic health challenges when the risk is high. Kathy shared how the last nine months of mostly isolation have been for her and how she has experienced a pause on her normal speaking, conferences, local ministry, and personal connection to friends. Kathy has learned new ways to reach out and have a personal ministry to others via technology. She’s used creativity in how she’s turned a time of being shut in into an opportunity to help others. After having her own small group have to take a break because of not being able to meet in person, and not being able to attend worship services, Kathy didn’t spend time feeling sorry for herself. Instead, she sprang into action.
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Life, Repurposed We talked about two factors: how she has repurposed her time and attention and still found meaningful ways to minister to others while being more limited and confined, and also about how others might think outside of the box to reach out to people who are more confined. First, Kathy shared some ideas for what she’s been doing to reach out to others. One thing she has done is to record short voice messages and then send them to people who God places on her heart. Using texts and social media messages, she has recorded prayers and words of encouragement for many people. Often someone will say it was just what they needed and she had no idea. She’s also found ways to connect with friends and fellow writers. The conferences she hosts for writers have turned into at-home retreats with Zoom meetings. She’s also started doing a Grin and Grow break devotional on her Facebook page several times each week (link below). Followers can listen in for a short message. Kathy also used the time with fewer commitments to work on several books, one of which is coming out in November. During this time, Kathy has had thoughtful people offer to pick up something at the store and deliver it to her porch with no contact and distancing. That led us to brainstorm a bit about ways that we could be more aware of people who are shut in, whether it’s right now or because of a treatment they are undergoing. COVID-19 has made us more aware,
In this episode:
If you had to choose just one thing for your next step, what would it be? What if a tiny pivot could change your direction and help you finish up the year 2020 strong and heading toward a better life?
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life If you could only change one thing in your life, what would you do? I’ve heard the term “butterfly effect” a few times and didn’t understand what it meant until recently. The term "butterfly effect" was coined by meteorologist Edward Lorenz, who discovered in the 1960's that tiny, butterfly-scale changes to the starting point of his computer weather models resulted in anything from sunny skies to violent storms—with no way to predict in advance what the outcome might be. It isn’t that butterflies necessarily cause the outcome, but that a tiny change in one place can have a dramatic effect on the future. It could be something as small as the brush of a butterfly wing that could change the scenario enough to eventually set off a weather event, but there was no way of proving it, according to Lorenz. But is there? If you’ve ever mowed the lawn or plowed a field (I grew up on a farm), you understand how a tiny adjustment of a steering wheel can make your straight line go off in a totally different direction. For example, let’s imagine you’re traveling a straight line and you make a fraction of a change in your course and then continue once again in a straight line. At first it won’t even be perceptible. But when you get miles down the path, you’ll see how far off course you’ve gone. Imagine if this were an airplane or a boat. A tiny adjustment could lead to the wrong destination. You probably know what one bag of chips can do…how one chip can set off a binge. Or how one TV show can lead to a wasted afternoon. But what if we applied that in a good way? What if a tiny adjustment was all it might take to get you going in a better direction? It’s a lot like a ripple effect. We’re approaching the end of the 3rd quarter of 2020. Many people have called this a dumpster fire of a year. But is it all that bad? What if it’s prompting you to make an adjustment that will have a new and better path for you? What if one little change could put you on a better path for 2021 and you’re missing it because you’re focused on the frustrations of 2020 right now? Let’s talk about what sort of changes that would set off a better course for the end of 2020 that would lead to a great 2021.
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Life, Repurposed Could one of these small adjustments change your course for the rest of this year and into next?
What if you got up 10 minutes earlier every day? What chain of events would that set off in your life?
In this episode:
The coziness and comfort of HYGGE is more than just fuzzy socks, a candle, and a mug. It isn't a vignette. It's a way of life. We can grow the essence of hygge in our relationships whether online or in person.
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life This week, I want to talk about HYGGE. If you aren't familiar with the term, hygge (pronounced HOO-gah) is a Danish and Norwegian word for a mood of coziness and comfortable familiarity associated with feelings of wellness and contentment. It's associated with the idea of charm, happiness, content, security, familiarity, comfort, reassurance, kinship, and simpleness. Appropriately, it originated with the Scandinavians, who are familiar with long winters! I think of it is an atmosphere that feels like a warm hug. I briefly mentioned it in my interview with Stephenie Hovland (episode 52). I’m 100% Dutch, but my husband is of Scandinavian descent. We don’t hold to many of the traditions, but this word and the concept has resonated with me. I must admit that I’m kind of weird and I like to peek in people’s windows when I’m driving around. Let me clarify. I’m not a voyeur. At sunset, I love it when the lights are all on in a house and the curtains are open, and I can see the warm, cozy home from the outside. I love to drive through a neighborhood of big old homes and see the grand staircase, the chandelier, the décor. I glance. I don’t stare! I was out for a walk recently and pondering this weird behavior of mine and wondering what it was that makes me like it so much. In fact, I like it so much that I like it when I go out to the mailbox after dark and as I turn to head back to the house, I can see the glow of the lights inside, smell the evidence of supper simmering on the stove, and see the books on my shelves, and the lap quilt draped over the back of the chair near the window. As I walked, it came to me that this observing of the cozy inside from somewhere outside gives me a warm sense of home – Hygge. It’s why I take pictures on my phone of vignettes in my home. Zoomed in photos of my throw pillows on a chair, or the repurposed mason jar of flowers. The candle flickering or the lamp casting a beam on my vintage camera on the side table.
a mood of coziness and comfortable familiarity feelings of wellness and contentment happiness content security familiarity comfort reassurance kinship simpleness
When was the last time I got that feeling from a political discussion, a trip to the grocery store, a scroll through social media, or watching the evening news? It made me realize that we all could use more hygge in our lives. Let’s talk about how to create that as we repurpose our time to bring that sense into life in a way that we can create this for others, too.
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In this episode:
This week, author Jane Rubietta talks with me about how we can find light in dark places and how we can shine that light on others. I hope you'll laugh along with us as we catch up and enjoy a hope-filled chat.
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life I enjoyed chatting with author Jane Rubietta in this episode! I met her for the first time when she spoke for an event in 2000 in my hometown. That's when I first learned about a writer's conference (Write-to-Publish) that she was part of, and I was exploring my own writing possibilities. I've always enjoyed her books and her writing voice. Jane and I talked about her writing journey and her latest book, Brilliance. There is a lot of need for light in our world right now! Be sure to listen to the audio link to hear our discussion about misconceptions about struggles and how we can overcome darkness.
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Life, Repurposed It’s easy to moan and groan in hard times, but Jane shared some practical tools she uses when life is hard and when we need an attitude adjustment. I could relate to so many of the messages in her book, and the #Fail chapter spoke to my current needs. We talked about what people need right now where there are disagreements, political unrest, a pandemic, and more in our world. There is hope! We can find light in the darkness when we change our focus to God's goodness and on truth. Listen to the episode to hear the whole conversation! To connect with Jane Rubietta, look for her on her website at JaneRubietta.com or find her on social media at: Facebook Twitter Instagram
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In this episode:
Does it sometimes feel as if you're one mini-crisis from capsizing? These are days where people feel overwhelmed by the level of stress that has become part of everyday life. What do we do with the overwhelm? In this podcast episode, I talk about how we can be aware and give ourselves and others more grace in difficult times.
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life It’s too much. I’ve thought this often in the past couple of weeks. Months. This year. May I just do a short rant here? If I see another meme about if 2020 were a song, or if 2020 were a menu item. Or if one more person asks if we can press the reset button on 2020. Did anyone have 2020 vision about this when they made that their New Year’s slogan? Ok. Rant done. Now, let’s talk about what the last week or two has brought into my brain:
There are fires in California, and I have loved ones there. COVID-19 broke more records for positive numbers, and that’s a negative thing. There has been another shooting of a black, unarmed man. There are two hurricanes hitting the southern coast at the same time. There is bickering on social media and someone’s comments cut to the core of my identity, threatening my sense of belonging in the fellowship of Christians. Several friends are either sick with COVID or have lost loved ones to it this week. Need I say more? A Christian leader has been forced to resign because of misconduct. A family member had a serious accident. And pumpkin spice coffee is back at Starbucks. Eew.
Ok. I had to on the last one. But seriously, that’s a normal week lately. It’s just plain overwhelming. I’m feeling out of my mind! Maybe you’ve felt it too. I’m finding myself feeling kind of numb. Like I don’t know how to have appropriate emotions anymore. And I wonder what’s happening. I think it’s overwhelm. I’m at the top edge of full when it comes to bad news. The waves have come up to the edge of the rim of the boat, and now the littlest stress makes me act like I would if the ship were going down. Except it isn’t. So let’s talk about that.
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Life, Repurposed Are you like me and have had the fight or flight feelings way to easily lately? I hear you. Let’s talk about what needs to happen to restore sanity.
Acknowledge it. If I’m not aware that my boat feels at risk, then it’s going to blindside me when a tiny wave hits. I’m aware that my emotions are high. Then what? Release it. I know I’m going to overreact when life feels that way. I don’t want to, but I do. I did it just today and reacted inappropriately to a stressor. We will each need to know what helps us to deescalate when we feel that way. We have to have a pressure release valve.
A walk? A deep breath?
In this episode:
In this episode, I talk with daughter and mom, Blythe Daniel and Dr. Helen McIntosh, about experiencing restoration and healed hearts in broken mother-daughter relationships. They talk about their book, Mended, and share their story of how Helen turned a difficult childhood into a ministry. I invite you to check out their website ourmendedhearts.com.
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life In this episode, we focused on mothers and daughters and the relationships between them. I enjoyed having guests Blythe Daniel and her mom, Dr. Helen McIntosh to talk about how God can mend broken or strained relationships. Blythe Daniel is a literary agent and marketer with more than 20 years of experience in publishing. She has written for Proverbs 31 Ministries, Focus on the Family, Ann Voskamp, Christian Retailing, and she links bloggers with readers through the agency’s blog network. The daughter of Dr. Helen McIntosh, she lives in Colorado with her husband and three children. Dr. Helen McIntosh (EdD, Counseling Psychology) is a counselor, speaker, educator, and author of Messages to Myself and Eric, Jose & The Peace Rug®. Her work has appeared in Guideposts, ParentLife, and HomeLife magazines. She resides in Georgia with her husband Jim. They have two children and five grandchildren. Dr. Helen talked a little about her difficult childhood and Blythe shared how her mom’s experience affected their relationship growing up. We discussed unhealthy generational patterns in family relationships and how we can break the cycle. “We believe that there is always hope for you concerning your relationship with your mom or daughter, no matter if she is in your life or not. There is always hope that we can be restored in how we have experienced our mother or daughter, available through the power and provision that God gives us to reconcile our hearts to him and to each other.” —Blythe Daniel
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Life, Repurposed Dr. Helen walked through tough circumstances with her mom growing up and she has turned those experiences around; she is also a licensed counselor and helps others reframe what has happened to them and start conversations toward healing. We discussed some of the ways to begin those conversations. We also discussed how someone can find healing, even if their mother has passed away or is estranged from them. A big focus in our conversation was on forgiveness, so be sure to listen to the audio (player at the top of this post, or on your favorite platform) to get the full conversation. “We don’t have to walk around feeling defeated in our relationships with our mother or daughter. There is victory when we believe and act upon the fact that we don’t have to live with anxiousness...
In this episode:
What does it mean to give up our rights? And what would happen if we lived in such a way that we were conformed to the mindset of Jesus? This week, we consider how our actions could be the only indication that someone else might have of how a follower of Jesus might act and live.
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life I had a blank slate in my podcast lineup, which usually means a spot for me to share what’s on my mind. Often that’s inspired by current events. The other night, I woke up at 4 am and couldn’t fall back asleep. I was in that weird middle area where I’m not really sleeping, but yet I’m kind of sleeping. During those early hours of the morning, I was half dreaming that I was working on a podcast episode. I was typing out the outline and wrote the title. I was getting ready to record it when I woke up. Since then, it’s been on my mind for a few days. It all started from what I’ve been reading lately, and when my data processing brain takes that input and mixes it with the input of social media and news, I end up with 4 am thinking sessions, I guess! I’ve been studying a textbook with a couple of friends and talking about what it means to live conformed to Jesus’s mindset. The book is based on the writings of the apostle Paul in the New Testament of the Bible. I’ll link to the book below. As I think about a repurposed life, I can definitely say that I’m not the same person I was ten years ago. Maybe even five years ago. And that brings me to today’s topic. I’m giving up my rights. Whoa, you say. What does that mean? There have been so many critical posts on social media directed toward people who have chosen to take one position or another that sacrifices something for the sake of other people. And the comments I see have to do with accusing those people of laying down their American rights, as if they were cowards for not standing up and defying whatever the request was. I’m intentionally steering away from any specific issue right now, because that isn’t the point of this. The point is, what does it mean to give up our rights, and is it truly unAmerican to do so? Am I called to hold my ground at all costs because it opens the door for a hostile takeover of my freedom? Or is there another script? I’ve wrestled with it, and come to a conclusion that isn’t all that popular. But I’m ok with being a weirdo. I believe that the only way to wake up Jesus’s followers and make a difference is to change our mindset. And the only way for that to happen might be to get us out of comfort zones and launched into a situation where we’re pushed into action. What is action? Loving people. Let’s talk about what it might look like to be repurposed to love people.
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In this episode:
In a season where we long for peace and hope, one of the best ways to find it is in time spent with God. But how can we keep up the habits when distractions and busyness interfere? Author Stephenie Hovland gives helpful tips and shares a link to a free downloadable resource!
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life This week, we welcome my guest Stephenie Hovland. In this episode, we talked about reinventing spiritual growth habits in the midst of the hustle of everyday life. We’re living in uncertain times and more than ever, we need to have some spiritual roots. But when everything is upside-down and our routines change, it’s hard to create consistent habits for our personal spiritual growth. I’m talking about the things we do every day to connect with God. This is an important discussion, because many of my listeners have experienced some sort of upheaval in the last few months, and maybe their habits have gone all wacky. Stephenie said, “Despite having access to devotionals and Bibles on the internet 24/7, listening to inspirational podcasts, and having more access to spiritual experts and leaders than ever before, we still feel disconnected to God.” Isn't that true? We have a lot of information available to us, but often we can’t seem to have any kind of regular, dedicated spiritual routine. In the audio, we discussed how busyness affects us. We also talked about expectations and setting up a high standard that is hard to meet. Stephenie said as soon as she figures out what meets her spiritual needs, something often comes up to change it. So she’s constantly changing up her schedule, her routine, her devotion books, anything that keeps her connected to God. She tries new things and returns to the old. With the Internet so full of free spiritual resources such as Bible apps and devotions, are people really having issues staying connected to God?
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Life, Repurposed Based on conversations with friends, I know they are having trouble with consistency. Let’s talk about some solutions for how to make it work. In the episode, Stephenie shared how she is positively affected when she creates habits that allow for time for personal devotions. Sometimes it’s a short read from the type of book she calls “short and shallow.” When she doesn’t have time for a deeper study, a short devotional reading still provides encouragement. She often leaves books open around the house so she can’t miss them and has several devotional books available and in progress. She has creative ways to set the tone with candles and music too. We also discussed how to make sure we choose devotionals that are biblically based and not just positive thinking.
In this episode:
Michelle talks with her husband, Phil, about how she tried deer hunting and he tried her hobbies as they discovered more about each other and learned to appreciate their uniqueness. Laugh along as they talk about the debut of their new book for couples.
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life I used to make fun of the hunting videos that Phil watched, and I resented the time he spent in the woods. But then I got my own blaze orange and tried rifle season because I wanted to know what drew him to the woods. It helped me to understand his interest in hunting because I could appreciate the peace of the woods and the connection with nature. I also took back everything I ever said about hunting videos when I got my own book. In the audio, we talk about our experience.
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Life, Repurposed Trying each other's hobbies is a great way to explore what the other likes. It drew us closer together and helped me to release some of my resentment about Phil's hobby after I tried it. He also tried making cards and coloring with me. We don't have to love our spouse's hobby to try it out and use the experience as an opportunity to notice how passionate they are about it, how they use their unique skills, how they excel in it, and how it energizes them. We discussed some of the questions in the end of that chapter in the episode as well. Laugh along as Phil co-hosts with me this week!
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Recommended Resources Classic Marriage: Staying In Love as Your Odometer Climbs Is your marriage a classic? A classic is something of high quality and lasting value. In a marriage there will be hours of maintenance work,
In this episode:
In honor of the launch day of their book, Phil and Michelle play a game of "Would You Rather?" Enjoy a few laughs as they discuss questions about money, work, time, and love.
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Special Episode This week, we break out of the usual format and Michelle plays "Would You Rather?" with her husband, Phil. Enjoy a few laughs as they discuss questions such as:
Would you rather stay in or go out for a date night? Would you rather play a board game or watch a movie with me? Would you rather lose your keys or your cell phone?
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Today is the launch day for the book!
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Recommended Resources Classic Marriage: Staying In Love as Your Odometer Climbs Is your marriage a classic? A classic is something of high quality and lasting value. In a marriage there will be hours of maintenance work, tinkering, breakdowns, meltdowns, blowups, cute photo ops, wear and tear, overhauls, memories, vacations, celebrations, and repairs. There will be moments where you haul yourselves back to “the garage” for work. Like a trusty old truck, a classic marriage isn’t perfect, but who can put a price tag on it? As the odometer climbs, everyday challenges leave behind rust and ripped upholstery. Dings and scrapes come with the memories. The odors left by spilled milk and stale French fries replace the new car smell. But even with a few sputters and an occasional stall out, that baby is still moving down the road. Welcome to real life!
In this book, you’ll find:
Inspiration, honesty, and self-deprecating humor from the front seat of adventure with Michelle and Phil.
In this episode:
A fun conversation between Michelle and Phil Rayburn as he makes his first appearance on the show. Listen in as they practice a set of discussion questions for date night.
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life In this episode, Michelle chats with her husband, Phil, about the first chapter of their new book, Classic Marriage: Staying in Love as Your Odometer Climbs. Listen in to the podcast episode to hear their conversation in Phil's first time behind the mic, and laugh along as he provides some advice for husbands.
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Life, Repurposed Michelle and Phil go through the Tune-Up Time questions at the end of chapter 1. You can get a downloadable version of those questions to view on a phone or to print and bring with you for date night. Find the file at www.classicmarriagebook.com Also, we invite you to the book launch party on July 23!
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Recommended Resources Classic Marriage: Staying In Love as Your Odometer Climbs Is your marriage a classic? A classic is something of high quality and lasting value. In a marriage there will be hours of maintenance work, tinkering, breakdowns, meltdowns, blowups, cute photo ops, wear and tear, overhauls, memories, vacations, celebrations, and repairs. There will be moments where you haul yourselves back to “the garage” for work. Like a trusty old truck, a classic marriage isn’t perfect, but who can put a price tag on it? As the odometer climbs, everyday challenges leave behind rust and ripped upholstery. Dings and scrapes come with the memories.
In this episode:
Sometimes what keeps us stuck in the past is our own mindset. The apology from an offender might never come. And restitution might not be possible. But what if we could move forward and not punish ourselves for things we can't undo? The future is wide open for us to repurpose our struggles into something that gives us new purpose.
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life In episode 47, I introduced the idea of being stuck looking in the rearview mirror. This week, I give some next steps. I’ve met many bitter people, and I’ve noticed most of them have something in common—they’re stuck on something from the past. It consumes them and negative thoughts and feelings erode anything positive they experience. When something good happens to someone else, negative people can't rejoice with them. Instead, they look for some way to point out a downside. I’ve noticed how easily I can become pessimistic and fall into bitterness and resentment. It stems from buried hurt and old attitudes. Because I’m aware of this, I’ve made a conscious effort to deal with negative emotions. It isn’t easy. But I’ve realized that I can’t move forward at the same time I have my focus locked on the past. As with driving a car, it wouldn’t take long before I crashed if I attempted to move forward without my eyes looking at the road ahead. These four steps have helped me be free from the negative influence of old regret and pain—both my regrets over things I’ve done, and my pain over hurtful things said and done to me. You can be FREE too.
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Life, Repurposed Getting F.R.E.E F - Forgive Others. You may never get an apology. You may never be able to confront the person who deeply wounded you. That person might not even realize he or she ruined your life, and that doesn’t seem fair. You may never see justice and your perpetrator might never bear any consequence for his or her actions. But you can still forgive. At first, it doesn’t seem fair to let it go, but forgiveness does so much good for a wounded heart. It prevents the offender from having the ability to continue to wound you from within. Your abuser, the person who wounded you beyond words, or the family member who made your life a daytime nightmare doesn't deserve forgiveness. Forgiving is probably the last thing you feel like doing. But the Bible teaches us that forgiving keeps Satan from getting an advantage over you. Forgiving might not matter to the offender, but it matters greatly to your own spiritual, emotional, and physical health. It's the antidote for a poison that eats at your soul. We can’t forgive on our own, but God can do what we cannot do. It takes the power of God’s Holy Spirit in us to let go of our justified anger.
In this episode:
Life's rearview mirror frames our regrets for things we have done—failed relationships, financial blunders, poor decisions, and situations we wish we could do over. It also frames the things done to us—circumstances that were outside of our control such as abuse, a troubled home life, taunting from bullies, racial discrimination, and abandonment. If we get stuck on that view, it could hinder us from seeing the wonderful future God has ahead of us!
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life It’s easy to dwell on our past pain or mistakes until we’re so stuck looking in the rearview mirror we have trouble moving forward. In fact, sometimes it causes us move backwards. For example, when the cruel words and actions of someone from the past play like a recording in your brain, you’re more likely to base your decisions on that recording if you dwell on them. When a decision about applying for a new job or going back to school comes along, you back away from the opportunity and concede to hopeless lies. “You’ll never amount to anything but a loser,” you hear in your head. Have you ever noticed that backing up a car takes more work than driving forward? My husband worked for a cranberry grower for more than a decade, and during harvest I had the opportunity to work in the fields. Usually, I received jobs that required physical labor, but no skill in handling equipment. One harvest day they were short a man and asked me to drive the vehicle we called the one-ton. I gulped, but “manned” up for the job. For those who are truck illiterate like me, a one-ton is a large truck cab with a small dump truck back end. It has big dual wheels on the back and it’s a beast of a vehicle if, like me, you’re a woman with an aversion to big vehicles. My job was to haul the load of stringy grass and weeds that came off the waste elevator, dump it out in a compost pile by the woods, then drive back to the harvest area and back the truck up a long, narrow sand dike with water ditches on both sides. No problem. At least it wasn’t a problem when the guys did it. Once I got in the truck, I knew I was in trouble. First, a truck like a one-ton has no window behind the seat—it’s covered by the dump truck on the back. I usually look over my shoulder when I back up a vehicle. “Just use your mirrors,” my husband said. “I’ll be back there directing when you get closer. Watch my hand signals and you’ll know when to stop.” I tried backing with those mirrors. I really did. I crawled backwards at a pace a sloth could have outrun. Unfortunately, I’d have run over any sloth that happened to race me because I swerved back and forth in a path that left tire tracks like rickrack in the sand. Eventually, I gave up, opened the cab door and hung out the side with one hand on the steering wheel, the other clinging to the door handle to keep myself from plunging into the ditch as I looked over my left shoulder. I got the truck to where it had to be, but I didn’t need a rearview mirror to get a clear view of the men snickering by the harvest machine. Forty-five minutes later, I got to do the same thing all over again.
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In this episode:
Have you ever had a rustic camping adventure? In this episode, I talk about the time when worms rained from the trees at our campsite, and I give five life application tips that I've learned from camping.
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life Over the years, our family made a lot of memories while camping. Many summer weekends we would pack up and head to a state park for a few days. I didn’t love it as much as my guys. Being the only girl in a family of guys, they prefer things a lot more rustic. To me, there was something backwards about loading up all that gear, driving for six hours, and setting up our tent camper for another two hours just to get away from real life. Some aspects of real life appealed to me. Like showers. Running water. Air conditioning. I liked my curling iron and my dishwasher too. My idea of roughing it still involves flush toilets and electricity. On one of our camping trips we went to a state park that spanned the St. Croix River between Wisconsin and Minnesota. It was a beautiful park with many hiking trails and a sandy beach at a little swimming hole for the kids. We pulled in long before daylight faded and started to set up our antique pop-up camper. I know it’s antique because I camped in it when I was an infant and it had been around for a while already then. Besides, a similar camper to ours resides in the Smithsonian. This was a primitive camper with two plywood sides that flip out and a bunch of tent poles that had to be assembled and attached to the box frame of the camper. Then, a big green musty-smelling canvas tent covered the whole thing. When it was all set up, it was a box with a double bed on both sides and a tent over the top. That’s it. Just a tent off the ground. No kitchen. No storage or cabinets. No bathroom. Because of the age of the canvas, we usually covered the whole thing with a big blue plastic tarp strung up in the trees. After Phil backed the camper into just the right spot, we started setting up. I busied myself with setting up lawn chairs around the fire pit and creating a cooking space at the picnic table. I was about to toss the plastic tablecloth over the rustic picnic table when a fuzzy worm inched its way toward the middle. Then I noticed another one. There was one on the bench too, and when I looked over to say something to Phil, there was one on the camper. I soon realized the camper and the Jeep and the lawn chairs had caterpillars all over them. That’s when I noticed it was raining worms. Like big fuzzy green raindrops, tent caterpillars fell from the trees. I got back in the Jeep and said, “I’m not coming out.” “Can we please run to the Wal-Mart I saw a few miles back? I just need to buy a hat. I don’t want these stupid worms in my hair.” One morning I laid in the bed watching the silhouettes of worms on the tent roof. Eeew!
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In this episode:
Being aware of when we feel the most lonely could help us learn to pay attention to how we can include someone else. It helps us notice how we can serve others. Awareness of our own struggle can also help us repurpose something negative into an opportunity to make a difference.
(Article contains affiliate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small commission from that purchase.) Inspired Life This week, I want to talk about loneliness. I think it takes many forms, but this one really hits me: one is not necessarily the loneliest number, like the 1960s song once said. Sometimes, we can be even more lonely in groups than we are alone. I’ve said it before on this show that I’m an introvert. Let’s make it clear that I am not shy. And I don’t avoid people. I just recharge most when I’m alone doing something peaceful by myself. However, I’ve come to realize that I often feel alone with a group of people. More so than when I’m alone, as in by myself. And this is why I think quarantine was not awful for me. The more often I was in groups of people where I felt lonely, the more stressful it was. And quarantine removed that for a while. This is not just about introverts or about quarantine. I want to talk about what makes us lonely. My observations:
For some people, being alone IS lonely. Isolation from others. For some people, being married is lonely, because there is conflict in the marriage and they don’t know where to turn. Some feel lonely in groups of people. I’m going to come back to that shortly. Lonely people might know a LOT of people. Loneliness can come with change. Moving, changing jobs, quarantine. Being the only one: status, skin color, a change (such as getting sober in a family that drinks), not speaking the language. Social anxiety and wanting to be accepted.
I have discovered that I often feel lonely in groups of people, even people I love. There are a few reasons:
If I feel don’t “get” me, or don’t agree with me. For many years, all of my friends were of the same mindset as I am and shared similar values and beliefs. If your beliefs or values begin to go in a different direction, that leaves you as the only one and unable to speak without fear of being condemned for your thoughts.
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Life, Repurposed I’m seeing that any time I’m feeling something, it gives me an opportunity to practice empathy for someone else. By noticing when I feel lonely, it helps me to repurpose that feeling into something productive. Here are some examples:
Increased awareness of who isn’t talking when in a group and bringing them into the conversation. A desire to make sure that others feel they won’t be attacked if they say something that doesn’t perfectly align with my point of view. Practicing being less argumentative and more saying,
In this episode:
No one really needs to hear my words about racial injustice right now, but I do think someone needs my voice. There is a difference between throwing words out there and being a voice. We can be a voice with few words. Being a voice means I have not passed on by or pretended I did not see.
(Article contains affililate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small comission from that purchase.) Inspired Life I have wrestled for two weeks about what to say. First, my own life was pretty overwhelming for reasons too many to tell. And then so much was happening in the world. I don’t think anyone really needs to hear my word or a long pontification on anything. But I do think they need my voice. There is a difference between throwing words out there and being a voice. I can be a voice with few words. I posted this on social media the other day: I had planned to release an image of my new book cover this week. I decided to wait a few days because the timing wasn’t quite right in light of all that is happening around us. I couldn’t just move forward and pretend as if I saw nothing. I will share the book image in a day or two, but for today, this is what’s on my heart. No one needs my words, empty as they are. I don’t need to give a long explanation of how I’ve arrived at my point of view. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that other human beings have cried out for help, and whether or not I understand all of the implications behind their cries, I hear the pain. I hear the plea for someone to listen, to notice, to validate, to at least pause long enough to pay attention and not pass on by pretending not to see or hear. I’m listening, learning, and taking off my perspective lenses to borrow the lenses of others who have had a different experience from my own. So much about my own life journey hasn’t been easy or simple. Yet, I know nothing of what it is like to heap racial inequality or injustice in the path along with the other challenges. Nothing. We grew up saying the Pledge of Allegiance every day in school. But now I realize that the words are empty if I cannot speak where liberty and justice have been oppressed. I am inept, inadequate, and ignorant, but that can change. I’ll start with being inquisitive and intent, informed and invested in what it takes to make a difference. Let’s frame this in the context of repurposing, with before and after.
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Life, Repurposed The reason that silence is considered an endorsement of inequality is that it means we have either had one of two things happen:
We have heard the message and we don’t agree that there is a problem. We have heard the message and we think there is a problem, but we don’t care.
Let me propose a third option:
We have heard the message,
In this episode:
More than ever before, digital communication is a vital means of staying connected with others. But sometimes a little social media distancing is needed to preserve relationships when opinions burn hot, passion is ignited, and misinformation is abundant. Why not reclaim digital media for positive influence!
(Article contains affililate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small comission from that purchase.) Inspired Life This is the last segment in my relation-tips series, and it has to do with our virtual relationships. During phrases of quarantine, shelter at home, social distancing, and more, it has become obvious how important these relationships are, but it has also become obvious how painful they can be. During this time, I have had to unplug more than ever before and yet I needed my friends more than ever before. It can be difficult to find a peaceful spot in the middle. Here are some things I have noticed about the online world in the last three months:
People will share anything if it fits their point of view. People will say anything, even if they would never say it to another person’s face. People will spiritualize a lot of opinions. Drama is alive and well. There are very real hurts out there and people need support. Digital is not the same as in person, but we sometimes expect it to be. This is an extrovert’s world. Introverts have long ago learned that if they are going to survive, they will have to bend to the introvert side of life and participate. But it doesn’t go the other way. Even for a short time, many extroverts have had a terrible time adjusting to a slower pace and fewer activities. There is still kindness alive and well if we look for it.
So what do we do with that? There is a lot of negative there. I won’t even list all of it because you have seen it and you don’t need any more negativity!
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Life, Repurposed We can repurpose even our digital communication for something that is much healthier than the norm.
Social media distancing. Social media doesn’t have to be our only source of digital communication. The telephone still works! Email still works. A video chat works. It doesn’t have to be all consumed from a platform that is heated and overwhelming. I have spent many days unplugged from social media in the last few months – for the sake of my mental health.
You CAN snooze someone by unfollowing for a period of time, especially when it means that you can preserve your love for that person. Distancing is sometimes needed. It is ok to hold some people at arm’s length for most interaction and still show them grace and kindness when you do need to interact.
Reach out with kindness. You can distance from the negative without being absent from the interactions. Reach out in a message to someone (voice or ty...
In this episode:
In this encore episode, learn about secrets to a long marriage based on friendship, get four ready-to-print downloads for wedding shower games, plus a fun bonus freebie, and recommendations for resources that could help your marriage.
(Article contains affililate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small comission from that purchase.) Inspired Life Sometimes we can get so caught up in the romance of the event of a wedding that we miss the point of the whole thing. I’ve loved the process of planning with both of our sons and their wives. I’ve appreciated that they have both focused on the marriage as well as the wedding. Phil and I have been married for more than 28 years. We met when I was fifteen and we started dating when I was sixteen. We were so young and immature, but we both saw qualities in each other that we knew matched our long-term life values. We exchanged our vows when I was only 20 and he was 23. You'll find the rest of the notes for this episode on the post for Episode 4
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Life, Repurposed The Freebies I am not a shower game person at all! I would skip it if it could. I know. Call me a scrooge of wedding showers. But, I know, a shower without games just doesn’t feel like a shower. So with the help of my daughter-in-law who was happy to be getting her first sister soon, we put together a few games from both old and new ideas. These are all free for download right here. All I ask is that you not share them on any other websites, outside of linking to this post to share the freebies with your friends.
What’s in Your Purse? This is a fun game where you get points for the junk in your purse.
What's in Your Purse? Game Download
How Good is Your Memory? This is a game with household objects that we played at wedding showers back in the days when I got married. This free download has instructions on the second page. Print page one for your guests and print yourself one copy of page two for the directions.
Wedding Memory Game Download
Wedding Quiz. A fun game to see how well you know the bride and groom. Print a copy of the page for each person. Have the bride fill one out and her answers will provide the answer key for the game.
Wedding Quiz Game Download
Guessing Game. This printable has slips that you can cut apart for a guessing game. Fill a jar with chocolate kisses or other candy and let guests put in 1-3 guesses of how many are in it. We had a smaller crowd, so we let everyone guess three times [so the basket of slips wouldn't look so empty 🙂 ].
Guessing Game Slips Download Get the printables sent to you by email:
Email Address
In this episode:
How we handle ourselves when we're wrong says a lot more about us than being wrong about something does. If we handle it with maturity and grace, that shows humility. But if we get defensive and argumentative, it shows emotional immaturity.
(Article contains affililate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small comission from that purchase.) Inspired Life "I was wrong." As a couple, Phil and I have had plenty of learning in admitting to our mistakes. It still doesn’t come easy for me! I never like to admit I’m wrong. As a perfectionist, I always hated getting questions wrong on a test, failing at something, losing, not knowing something. I gravitated toward academics and arts because I’m a terrible athlete, and outside of having strength on my side, I have no coordination or speed. So most sports for me mean being picked last or being the loser in a match. But in academics, I excelled. This is because if you can be right, you win. So it isn’t surprising that it carries over into my relationships that I like to be right. I have learned over time that arguments don’t accomplish much, but I would defend my position to the end if it meant I didn’t have to say I was wrong. This also leads to hurting the feelings of other people and not being great at apologizing, since it means admitting I’m not perfect. There are all sorts of ways to justify not admitting to wrong. I think in relationships we have the wrong idea about being wrong. Being wrong doesn’t mean you are any of these things:
Stupid Unreliable Unqualified Not valuable Incompetent
It simply means you were wrong. Having the facts wrong isn’t a big deal is you’re willing to learn the right ones. Smart phones have really changed this. Remember when you could have an argument and then no one knew what the right answer was? Now we can just pop open Google and settle it. But how to do you respond once someone reads the facts to you. If your answer is, “Who cares anyway?” then you might have a problem. The other challenge is that we might not feel it’s safe in a relationship to give in to someone else. Being wrong in a relationships is ok if we’re willing to mutually care for one another when one person admits they were wrong and the other forgives without using it as leverage to condemn or belittle the other. In a healthy relationship, both people are safe to admit to mistakes. Saying I was wrong is often perceived as a weak thing that undermines respect. I would counter that with the idea that I have less respect for someone who cannot admit they are wrong even when all the evidence proves it. Let’s talk about how relationships can be restored when we admit we are wrong.
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Life, Repurposed My relationship with my husband is better than it ever has been after 30 years,
In this episode:
There is a lot of stuff going on in our world right now. This means a lot of opportunities to argue, for people to follow their gut and then make a mistake, for not being prepared enough for financial stress, and for choices that could lead to consequences. In relationships, it's often tempting to say, "I told you so" when someone else messes up. But what if we flipped the script to 4 other little words? I still love you. Whether it’s related to a pandemic, an election, a cause, or a disagreement, we have the opportunity to love. And that’s how we win at relationships.
(Article contains affililate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small comission from that purchase.) Inspired Life In this season where family members are home with one another, plans are canceled and life is different from what we expected, tensions are higher than usual in some families. This series will be short programs to help you with practical tips in everyday life. A trip around social media will make it quite obvious that people are frustrated, angry, disappointed and sad. I’m sad when I read the posts! As I’m working on editing a book for couples that will be coming out later this year, relationships are on my mind. But I’ve realized it isn’t only marriages that need help. Many friendships and parent/child relationships could use some help too! I want to talk about four little words that are oh-so-tempting to say, but can be so destructive in a relationship. I want to say them SO often. Too often. I like to be right. I like to win arguments. I’m not proud of that. Let’s set this up a little. Imagine that you have an adult child. Perhaps this child still lives at home part time. They have a car that cost them all of their savings to purchase. You remind them numerous times that they need to check the oil and take care of it. And one day you get the phone call. “I’m stuck on the side of Interstate 94 in 6 lanes of traffic. My car died and I have about 8 minutes left before my phone dies too.” Freeze frame. This little voice pops up in your mind. You know you’ve been talking about maintenance. You reminded this child recently that leaving without a phone charger makes no sense when there are 42 billion of them on the kitchen counter at home, several in the junk drawer, and yet there is never one in the car. Ok. Back to reality. “What happened?” “I don’t know. It started clanking and then the engine light came on. And now it’s dead.” _________ Even I know the signs of a blown engine. (PS – I made up this story based on a pile of experiences and not one, lest I “out” either of my children and make family enemies.) Now, what are the words that are right there behind your teeth waiting to come out? They have made it from your brain to your throat, to the tip of your tongue and you just want to spit them out. I told you so. Four true but destructive little words that can break a relationship. That child broke down on the side of the road can already hear your voice. The husband who forgot his coffee on the kitchen counter (yes, this one is from real life) for the third time in a week knows he did it again. Aside: (my husband needs to stop putting coffee in the camouflage tumbler!) When you warned someone that their choices were going to land them in deep trouble, sickness, financial hurt, emotional pain, broken heart…they don’t need to hear “I told you so.” Let’s talk about how to turn these 4 little words into something that can be of benefit.
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In this episode:
I’d rather laugh about what I can’t change instead of grumbling about it. I'll aim to embrace hard times as an opportunity for God's power to shine, even if that isn't my first reaction. This week I talk about one man in the Bible who understood God's ability to repurpose circumstances in a mind-blowing way.
(Article contains affililate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small comission from that purchase.) Inspired Life Did you catch my interview with Jill Savage last week about discovering full life even after having an empty nest? That was episode 38. In episode 37 I also talked about gray hairs and chin fizz. I don't know what it is with those chin hairs, but I suspect my face crème has a formula similar to Rogaine. I can imagine a scientist—a man—creating just the right blend that would cause vain women like me who believe they need anti-wrinkle crème, to begin sprouting full beards. Seriously! I’m recording this during a statewide shelter at home order because of a pandemic, so I can’t make use of the car visor to check my chin hairs. I’m going to have to use the light on my cell phone so that I don’t come out of quarantine looking like the bearded lady. In this series I have talked about looking at aging with a different perspective and looking for the jewels. There are other advantages to being more mature.
For instance, sales clerks and auto technicians call me “ma’am” instead of “miss.” That has a certain ring of respect. I’m allowed to bring my bifocals out in public now. Ma'ams wear bifocals, don't they? I discovered in my 40s that I could wear my blueberry-colored velour jogging suit and nobody expected me to actually jog. Mostly, it was my Sunday afternoon napping outfit, but once I had to pick them up from school and figured that I’d be in the van and no one could see me. I talk about that in the podcast episode.
With aging and other life challenges, I’ve discovered that my perspective has everything to do with getting through it. I have plenty of down days. But when I can laugh and find the unseen benefits in a situation, those are the days when I’m happy despite circumstances outside of my ability to control.
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Life, Repurposed I want to briefly tell you about one man in the Bible who understood God's ability to repurpose circumstances better than I'll ever comprehend. Joseph was a young man whom his father loved. In fact, he was his father's favorite. This made his brothers jealous, and they wanted to kill him. They threw him into a pit while planning their evil, and then concocted an idea to sell him as a slave so they wouldn't have murder on their consciences. They covered up their evil by telling their father that Joseph was killed by a wild animal,
In this episode:
This week, I talk with Jill Savage, where we discuss how to prepare for and experience joy in the empty nest phase of life. Learn what to let go of and then what we need to grab hold of as we transition from raising children to releasing them from the nest.
(Article contains affililate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small comission from that purchase.) Inspired Life This week, I’m happy to share a recent interview with Jill Savage, where we talked about how to experience joy in the empty nest phase of life. As someone who married at the young age of twenty and had my children within five years from that, I was an empty nester in my late forties. Jill Savage talks about what we need to let go of and then what we need to grab hold of as we transition from raising children to releasing them from the nest. Jill is an empty nest mom of five children. Her mission is to help moms and marriages. In her writing and speaking, she shares very honestly and openly about her own experiences, and I appreciate that Jill doesn’t sugar coat her story. In our interview, we talked about some of the content of her book Empty Nest, Full Life: Discovering God's Best for Your Next, but there was so much more great stuff that we couldn't cover in 30 minutes! We talked about letting go of opinions and expectations, and your child’s problems. But the one that was most challenging for Jill to let go of has been expectations. She said, “Our human nature sits in these places of expectation.” She said, maybe we talked to our mom every day when we left home, or maybe it was once a week. “But then you’re going to impose that expectation on your own children.” We have to let go of those and let them be who they are. We discussed holiday expectations too. Having in-laws join the family becomes an opportunity to let go of expectations and establish new traditions. Jill addresses letting go of traditions in the book too. We discussed how might need to be flexible with traditions or let them go altogether. If we don’t let go of these expectations, it can put pressure on our children. “We’re giving them the gift of freedom and of being themselves,” Jill said. In our chat, she mentioned a popular blog post that she wrote about giving adult child the gift of holiday freedom. See the full article titled “Give The Gift of Holiday Freedom” https://www.jillsavage.org/give-gift-holiday-freedom/ Jill talked about priorities and how they change after our kids leave home and get married. When here kids are small, a mom’s first priority is God, then her marriage, and then her kids. And in a child’s life, you want their priorities to be God, then parents and family, and other, she said. But, “The minute they get married, you move from spot number four, and then when they have kids, you move even more,” she said. We need to prepare our hearts for the reality of that. Their priority is to make their new family number one. It should never be to make us happy. You can be preparing now in the teen years if your kids haven’t yet home yet. In the teen years, we can back off on telling them what to do and asking more questions. Jill shared examples from how she and her husband guided their kids to make dicisions by asking, “What do you think you should do? What decision do you thinks is the right one to make?” Even if we know what decision we want them to make, we need to help them learn how to make it. Jill also said, we can always play the parent card if their decision isn’t the right one. This is exercising their decision-making muscle. The last letting go area that we discussed was that of releasing our kids’ problems. Jill said this chapter was a hard one to write in the book. One of their sons has had a lot of challenges (Jill talked specifically about them in this episode), and she had a friend that challenged her to lovingly detach from her son’s problems. We want to rescue,
In this episode:
There could be a silver lining in growing older and turning silver. It could be a perspective change about how we think about challenges that are out of our control, or it might be the ability to laugh in the face of wrinkles and chin hairs. Either way, joy is where we look for it.
(Article contains affililate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small comission from that purchase.) Inspired Life I had always thought that women who flipped out when they turned those milestone years with zeros on the end were just a little caught up in vanity. I didn’t mind turning 30. I didn’t mind 40 either. Last year I turned 50. I didn’t like it as much. I arrived at the "ripe old age" of 40 with only a strand or two of gray hair at most. Please let me live in blissful denial by calling those pre-gray hairs, if you will. When I first noticed the offending intruders, I was in the car. Have you noticed that a visor mirror in bright sunlight tells the truth more than the best of bathroom mirrors? It’s true. By the way, it’s also perfect for plucking old lady chin hairs. It mortifies my husband, Phil, to no end when we pass other cars on the highway and I’m taking advantage of this benefit. Now I carry a tweezers, but he was appalled when I improvised and plucked my chin with the pliers end of a pocket-sized multi-function tool—a Swiss Army type of thing that I carried in my purse. It took some coordination to maneuver the grips without knocking out a tooth or jamming the tip up my nose when we hit a pothole. But I digress. I was talking about the silver hairs I’ve detected in the last few years. When I first noticed the gray, I was two-months-past desperately needing a touch-up on my highlights. I had the visor down (probably checking chin hairs) when some lighter strands among the inches of dishwater-colored hair roots caught the sunlight. Some of them were even white. I tilted my head, rearranged a few hairs and then smoothed the top again. I wasn’t imagining the silvery whitish strands. “You won’t believe this!” I said to Phil. “Keep your hands on the wheel, and don’t look now, but I think my hair is beginning to self-highlight. This is gonna save us heaps in salon bills.” (This could be useful if your salon is closed for a pandemic.) He gave me that raised-eyebrow, whatever-you-say look husbands give when they wish their wives could act more normal. I was beginning to see the silver lining in turning silver. But as the years have passed, it turns out Phil’s skepticism was accurate. It has cost us rather than saved on salon bills.
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Life, Repurposed Our ability to get through challenges—whether it’s aging or other difficult circumstances—depends upon how we decide to handle them, not on the situation. I can always find some reason to complain.
In this episode:
Eight ways to respond when your life is on hold and plans disrupted. Face the challenge with a perspective shift about delayed plans, uncertain future, and indefinite waiting.
(Article contains affililate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small comission from that purchase.) Inspired Life Postponed. Interrupted. Delayed. Canceled. Uncertain. Indefinite. Hindered. Suspended. Questionable. Undetermined. I tried to think of all of the words that could give a planner anxiety. Not planner as in someone who plans events, but a person who likes to have an orderly method for life. A planner:
Puts events on calendar far ahead Arranges details using binders, sticky notes, phone reminders, and white boards. Has a sense of what will be happening for the next two weeks, two months, two years. Has a FranklinCovey binder and actually writes stuff in it. Reaches deadlines and finishes stuff. Keeps details and possibilities organized in her brain for months before an occasion.
Imagine the anxiety for anyone who is a planner when life is interrupted. What about when it’s interrupted not only for them but for the whole world? Suddenly all those horrible words are tossed around multiple times per day: Postponed. Interrupted. Delayed. Canceled. Uncertain. Indefinite. Hindered. Suspended. Questionable. Undetermined. This week, I’m giving some quick tips on how to cope when everything you had scheduled is on hold. For some, this is immediate as our world copes with a pandemic. But for others, this has already been their reality as the uncertainty of a diagnosis blocked plans. Or the loss of a home in a tornado, or the loss of a spouse… Vacations have to be canceled, weddings put on hold, gatherings postponed, and plans suspended. Let’s look at what we can do when plans are postponed indefinitely.
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Life, Repurposed Let's look at 8 ways to respond when your life is on hold and plans disrupted. We can face the challenges with a perspective shift about delayed plans, uncertain futures, and indefinite waiting.
Choose how to respond. My first reaction is to get upset. Angry, even. But after that initial grief, I have to make a conscious choice to respond differently from the initial meltdown. It takes practice to change my response. Breathe. Sometimes when I am stressed out, I need to slow my breathing. I start with a slow breathe to clear my head and get some oxygen. My husband sometimes thinks I’m sighing because I'm irritated with him, but I’m just breathing it out! Talk to a friend. I hate to bother people, so I don’t like to interrupt someone else. But I have a circle of people who I know I can interrupt at any time to tell them I’m struggling to cope. We need each other! Plan in the short range. I recorded this in the middle of a “shelter at home” o...
In this episode:
We can love others and bring glory to God even when unexpected circumstances shake us up. A repurposed life is one that is driven by a different approach to interruptions and crisis. It is one where there is peace when the “normal” response might be panic. It’s where resilience takes priority over resentment. This is the life where hope triumphs over hysteria. Ten tips for how to hold on to hope and peace and discover the source of resilience in hard times.
(Article contains affililate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small comission from that purchase.) Inspired Life Four weeks ago, I was making plans like normal, assuming that the bubble I live in could not be broken. It can change so quickly, and when we aren’t paying attention. While we planned for vacations and spring break, conferences, family gatherings, Easter, and more, a little virus was at work spreading its devastation across the world. And suddenly. Suddenly there are orders to stay home. Orders to stop having church, orders that closed restaurants and canceled musical performances, and orders to stay more than six feet away from other human beings. I created this episode in the thick of Covid-19 and the beginning of national efforts to quarantine the virus. I realize that you might have heard enough about the virus, since media everywhere has covered it. But for today, let’s talk about interrupted plans for the long term. I can’t think of a time in my lifetime when all of my friends and family experienced a pause all at the same time. Think of it. When one person experiences a pause the rest of the world goes rushing on. But this time, everyone has been put on pause. I’m a freelancer, so my pause isn’t as dramatic as that of some of my family members who are teachers. But I’ve experienced cancelations. I won’t be able to go to church for several weeks because it’s closed. I won’t be at prayer group. Several meetings and events are off the table. The immediate need is to cope with the challenges and changes for the time being. A repurposed life is one that is driven by a different approach to interruptions and national crisis. It is one where there is peace when the “normal” response might be panic. It’s where resilience takes priority over resentment. This is the life where hope triumphs over hysteria.
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Life, Repurposed If you need peace, resilience, and hope these are ten tips with biblical support for how we can bring glory to God in the midst of adversity.
Focus on what is good. Colossians 3:2 – "Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth." (NLT) Looks for ways to minister to others. Philippians 2:4 – "Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too." Share resources with others.
God has been slowly changing me from someone who avoided people who have different worldviews from me to someone who wants to engage and learn. In this episode, I give some tips for how this perspective change looks in practical application.
In this episode:
We have been subtly tricked into believing that fear is the voice we should listen to. We have become enemies of one another, champions of causes over people. What if we found new purpose for life and we shut out the fear and lived by love?
(Article contains affililate links. This means that when you click a link and make a purchase, I might receive a small comission from that purchase.) Inspired Life I read a book recently that really opened my eyes to something that had become a habit for me, and it made me want to break it. It’s an attitude that came on gradually when I wasn’t paying attention. Some of it came throughout my upbringing and some from my own reading, observing, etc. The attitude is fear. When I read a book called Love over Fear: Facing Monsters, Befriending Enemies, and Healing Our Polarized World (affilate link) by Dan White Jr. it made me realize that I have been motivated by fear when I didn’t even realize it. The author says: “The raw experience of fearing a common enemy bands us together and can energize use to action. In the early 1980s, a group of psychologists developed a way to study how fear influences our behavior. Their approach to understanding fear is using the Terror Management Theory. These psychologists were able to determine that, in general, when fear influences our decisions, we can be made to respond in wild ways.” (Pg. 20 ) "Nah, I’m not susceptible to that sort of manipulation," I thought. But I kept reading. “They assembled a long list of fear-based code words such as hurt, danger, unsafe, peril, problematic, injure, sick, threat, and then tested them out in various communication forums. These words elicited a dramatic response of action from people...This language has become the constant drumbeat of American political speeches. Politicians play to our gut fears of each other.” Again, I didn’t think this was true, until I started to listen objectively. On both sides of campaigns, it’s used as a tactic! White says the report showed that positive language didn’t elicit the same action, therefore politicians who run on positive language don’t get the support. “Not surprising, this psychological Terror Management Report has become a formal guidebook for writing political speeches. Both Republicans and Democrats use this report as a framework for peppering their speech with fear-based code words.” They are experts at leveraging our fears. Fear is good when it motivates us to flee imminent danger. But it isn’t good when it motivates us to hate people. It has opened my eyes to see how often I have lived in fear. White said, “When we are injured, dashed, and royally let down, we begin to fear those around us—we look for monsters. When we lack control over the suffering in our lives, our fears direct us outward into suspicion rather than inward to confront the pain in our souls.” P 30 So the more pain we have, the more we fear. We close down. We put up walls. We block out the love because we can’t take the risk of hurting. We manufacture hurts and fears that aren’t there. White says, “Fear ultimately does this—it shuts down relationships. This is quite arrogant, isn’t it? We assume we know who someone is, and what they are about, from a snapshot, from a distance.” P 31 This applies to more than just relationships. We have a natural scarcity mindset and zero in on lack, says White. This is the emotional framework that says we don’t have enough time, money, energy, education, protection, etc. (pg 33). As we look at the comparison between how Jesus lived and how the Pharisees (religious leaders) of his time lived, there is a contrast. The religious leaders were afraid of him taking away their power, so they acted from fear. But Jesus acted from love. Even when his life was on the line Jesus did not react from fear.
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In this episode:
This might be tough to accept, but if you want to achieve a dream of any kind, you’re going to have to admit that no one else has more time in a day than you do. Others aren't just lucky. They weren't given more time. They learned how to kick out the lies that held them back, and they made some changes to use their time differently.
Inspired Life I read an article from pastor and leader Carey Nieuwhof (I think he prounounces it like new-off) that really resonated with me. In this episode I incorporate Nieuwhof’s ideas and apply them to my audience and see if these same myth-debunkers work. He writes to leaders and pastors in his article. But let’s boil this down to some of the things my audience might be facing. I have had people insinuate that because I have accomplished some pretty big goals that I might somehow have more ability or more time than someone else. This is just not true. Let me explain. These are some of the things that were on my “want to” list 20 years ago, 15 years ago, 10 years…you get it. Not once in those decades did I really ever get the time. I never had weeks without interruptions. I never cleared my to-do list. I never had a source of wealth to provide a second salary for our family so that I could have a sabbatical. Yet:
I launched a speaking ministry and have spoken up to 20 times in a year. I published four books. I got my masters degree in ministry leadership. I launched a freelance business to help authors with editing and design of books. I created a website and learned how to do digital ads. I launched a podcast.
During the last decade and a half:
We moved to a new town and new church. I took a full-time job at a marketing agency for a while to help with the bills. I taught piano lessons. Two boys graduated from high school. I played piano for the high school choir. I was a worship and music coordinator for my church. I helped my husband raise his salary for missions support (he’s been on missionary staff for more than 14 years)
Ok. You get it. This is not a brag about Michelle episode. Don’t get me wrong! This is about showing that we don’t have time unless we make it. I’ve never had much bonus time. I’ve had to make it. Some of you work full-time out of the house, others at home. But I have a feeling, each of you has your own version of a dream. Let’s take a look at Nieuwhof’s 7 statements and frame them for my audience of women who have a dream but are stuck in the land of myths about their time.
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Life, Repurposed Let's look at the myths. I have modified them a little to fit my audience.
I don’t have enough time.
Here, Nieuwhof reminds readers that every person owns the same amount of time. This is unique, since we don’t own the same amount of real estate, money, possessions, etc. but we do have the same time. We just use it differently.
In this episode:
In this episode, author and speaker Kathy Carlton Willis returns to talk about how she became God's Grin Gal and how she has discovered joy, even in the midst of difficult circumstances. Learn how to grow your "JQ"—joy quotient.
Inspired Life This week, I was joined on the podcast by Kathy Carlton Willis, God's Grin Gal. Kathy talked about how she came to be known by this title when others pointed out to her that God has given her the ability to keep on grinning even though life has brought more than the average number of difficulties to her. We talked about how "fake it until you make it" isn't the same as learning how to experience true joy. The joy that Kathy talks about comes from a deep sense of peace that can't be explained. It's real joy! It also isn't as simple as happiness. Kathy says, "Happiness runs and hides, but joy remains when trials show up." The very same week that Kathy's book launched in January, her husband came home early one day to report that his company had cut his position due to downsizing of staff hours. She said as they go through this—and it isn't their first time experiencine unemployment or even their second—they are seeing how much more at peace they are in the middle of it. I have found that too. My joy grows with each experience, both good and bad, as I see God work and my fears turn to peace.
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Life, Repurposed Kathy shared about a wardrobe malfunction that became a central issue at her 25th anniversary celebration with her husband, but it brought them both grins on their date. You'll have to listen in to hear Kathy tell that story. In our discussion, we talked about how we all have difficult people in our lives who push our buttons. Kathy calls them sandpaper people who rub us the wrong way. Sometimes their abbrasiveness is intentional and other times it's just a personality difference. Sometimes the very person who is a sandpaper person to us will click with someone else and become besties. We might think difficult people can steal our joy, but there is nothing to steal. We make the choice of whether we will give it away or not. We don't have to let difficult people change our attitude. Kathy also talked about how serving is a big part of joy. "Serving it forward with joy," as she calls it, goes beyond paying it forward to not only do a random act of kindness, but to truly serve another person. We also talked about how forgiveness and gratitude are a big part of growing our joy quotient. Like IQ (intelligence quotient), we have a capacity for joy. That "JQ" can grow as God works in us. Kathy says she has had some experiences where looking for a lesson in the midst of a difficult situation isn't what she needed. There isn't always a lesson we need to learn.
In this episode:
What we learned from too many years of expectations and let-downs is that gift-giving out of obligation dictated by the calendar isn’t what has kept us together. What has held us together is that my husband treats me with the same genuine love every day of the year.
Inspired Life Gift giving is not my love language. And it isn’t my husband’s either. Lord knows it isn’t! Valentine’s Day used to be a stressful day for us. Expectations could cause a lot of conflict, thus overruling the whole point of the holiday. It became nothing more than him trying to figure out what I wanted, and me expecting him to just know what I wanted. Then we moved to me buying my own gifts. Otherwise known as going shopping and then calling it good. “Hey honey, I bought myself some fancy new fashion boots and a sweater, kay?” “Works for me.” Holidays such as Valentine’s can be fantastic, and they can be discouraging. There is so much hype that goes along with it!
If you have no relationship, it’s a sappy, irritating day. If your partner is a jerk 364 days a year, it feels very ingenuine to give flowers and chocolate, or go out for dinner. If you’ve lost the love of your life, it’s a painful reminder of the loss.
The holiday can be a comparison trap when you look at what someone else does to celebrate. And it leans way in the direction of making women happy. Or it can be an opportunity to try to one-up each other, or to top what you did last year. What we learned from too many years of expectations and let-downs is that gift-giving out of obligation dictated by the calendar isn’t what has kept us together. What has held us together is that my husband treats me with the same genuine love every day of the year. Receiving his kindness and thoughtfulness 364 days of the year is far more valuable than a bouquet or a box of chocolates. In the end, the checkbook comes out a lot healthier too. I know there are some skeptics out there. I talked to one guy once who said he doesn’t believe any woman who says she doesn’t want a gift. But the best gift I could ever receive isn’t found in a store.
It’s the respectful way my husband treats me. That’s a gift. And it’s the way he does little things for me that tell me he cares, like folding my laundry when I’ve left it all over the bed and he wants to go to sleep. Or turning on my electric blanket for me before bedtime. Sometimes he tosses a Hershey’s kiss from his La-Z-Boy across to mine…he knows how I appreciate it when he shares his chocolate.
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Life, Repurposed So, let’s talk about what had to change in us to get to this point.
First, we had to both realize that love doesn’t occur only once per year. We also had to get to release expectations in exchange for what works for us.
Think about this in terms of any expectations you have in relationships,
In this episode:
Do you remember when your world was contained to the people you saw at home and at work each day? Social media has opened an opportunity to have public forum discussions on a daily basis, and the result is sometimes that we say too much.
Inspired Life There is a lot of heavy conversation around us these days. More than any time in my life I see division because we have the ability to discuss current events with hundreds of people every day. Do you remember when your world was contained to the people you saw at home and at work each day? Social media has opened an opportunity to have public forum discussions on a daily basis. I’ve noted that even among people of similar faith, there can be vast differences in opinions about what is right or wrong. The strong opinions from social media often seep into our face-to-face conversations. We bring up something we saw on a post or a story we saw on the news. Someone will presume we share their point of view. And with a simple statement, a potential argument pops up. This is going to be a little bit of a soapbox episode, but it’s important to consider our own actions and what we convey through them. We might dehumanize our comments on social media posts and just fire off a reply without thinking about there being a real person on the other end of the screen. I don’t think we always consider the feelings of the other person or even how our response could damage our relationship. I believe that too often this is happening in personal conversation too. We say the first thing that comes to mind. We argue and try to prove a point. We want to be right. I’ve caught myself mistakenly believing that I can somehow change someone’s mind. We send news articles and persuasive pieces. We might mail books, and share links, all in a desperate effort to change someone else’s mind. But I think we lose something when we do this. We lose our real connection. The real challenge is to learn that we often don’t have to say anything at all. The quickest way to diffuse a conflict is to let it go. I think we can discover life, repurposed when we look for something other than pushing our opinion, but instead in building true caring relationships.
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Life, Repurposed There are many places where our impulses are tested and these can affect our relationships with others. This is especially true in communication.
Text messages Emails Verbal comments that rile us up Social media comments
If we shift our focus away from viewpoints and toward relationships, these are some action steps that could change the outcome:
Remind myself I don’t need to be right. It isn’t likely I can change someone’s mind, so I can ask, “What is my motive here?” I can ask, “What does it feel like to be in their shoes?” Assume their intelligence. I acknowledge that this person is smart and has wei...
In this episode:
Did you know that distraction is motivated by the desire to avoid discomfort? Reward isn't necessarily the motivation that will help you get stuff done. But if you can figure out your distraction triggers and remove the temptation, watch out world!
Inspired Life How distractible are you? Ironically, I can tune out the noise at a coffee shop to write, but I get distracted at home by the noise my husband makes when he clunks his feet on the stools in the kitchen. I can be laser focused on getting a project done, or I can fritter away time until I have to rush.
Our attention is a commodity! If you can focus long enough, you can reach your goals. That translates to income.
Author Nir Eyal would propose that it is our motive that determines how easily we are distracted. It might surprise you. It’s our desire to avoid discomfort that most typically steals our attention.
Let’s look at this in real life:
Let’s say I always wanted to go back to college and finish a degree. Let’s look at what might distract us from applying, specifically with the idea of avoiding discomfort:
It takes time to apply. You might have to dig up some documents and transcripts. Fear is uncomfortable. (Fear of failure, fear of leaving current job, etc.) You know it will be hard work to complete homework.
So, to avoid the discomfort of those things you:
Find other activities that make you “too busy” to apply. You turn to procrastination techniques. You play games online instead of filling out the application. You research more instead of applying.
So what moves us past the distraction to get something done? It is when the discomfort associated with not getting it done becomes greater than the reasons for not doing it.
The discomfort of running out of time makes us get it done when we have procrastinated. The shame of talking about it and not doing it might motivate us to get it done.
See this article by Nir Eyal: Distractions and Causes
The problem with distraction is that it moves us away from what we want to do. So while it is an escape, it’s an unhealthy one.
Nir Eyal is the author of Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life (affilate link). He says, “The truth is, we overuse video games, social media, and our cell phones not just for the pleasure they provide, but because they free us from psychological discomfort.”
Boredom, loneliness, insecurity, fatigue, and uncertainty are examples of some of the feelings we try to avoid. The problem is that each time we try to numb those emotions with distraction (check social media, watch TV, etc.) it provides a temporary solution. Eventually, it actually increases the problem.
I’ve noticed that I often want to blame the external source for distracting me. But really, we are only as distracted as we allow ourselves to be. Opportunities to pull our attention will come from outside of ourselves until infinity. But it’s my own attention that I have control over. It really comes down to changing our habits. (Check out James Clear’s book Atomic Habits: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones (affiliate link) for more on habits.)
Let’s consider how life could change when we change how we respond to opportunities for distraction.
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Hi there! It's a quick bonus episode of Life, Repurposed to let you know that as of today, 1-24-2020, there are only 20 tickets left for the Inaugural Spark Christian Podcast Conference! I'm one of the sponsors for the event. Check out the details below, and if you're thinking about starting a podcast or you already have one and want to connect with other pros, this is for YOU. SPARK attendees will feel more confident about hosting their podcasts, have practical tools to save time and money, learn to create great content, understand their analytics, streamline the interview/guest process, and gain more listeners. Network and connect with Christian podcasters. Meet well-known podcasters and get your podcast questions answered. February 21-22, 2020 in Houston, TX for the Inaugural Spark Christian Podcast Conference. www.SparkChristianPodcastConference.com I'll be there!! Michelle
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In this episode:
I have been thinking about writing a Rule of Life in place of annual goal setting (or as a companion to it), and I was first introduced to it in a book by Peter Scazzero. He explains that a Rule of Life is like a trellis on which we train a vine to grow. Having a framework in place helps us to direct how we grow and ultimately helps us flourish.
Inspired Life: What is a Rule of Life? I don’t love rules. And yet I can’t help but follow them. So when I heard of a Rule of Life when I was reading a book, I was a bit skeptical of this thing that sounded legalistic. But it isn’t. In this podcast episode, I took a closer look at what it is. A Rule of Life is an alternative to setting goals (or a companion to it). It stems from a tradition of religious orders who had guidelines for how they lived in community—think monks. We can use their example and write our own code of conduct that guides our decisions. Daniel had his own code of conduct—Rule of Life—in the Bible, he just didn’t call it that. See Daniel 1 and Daniel 6 for how his practices of prayer and time with God as well as a specific way of eating were included in his non-negotiables, even when his life depended on it. Seriously, he was willing to be thrown in a den of lions rather than break his code. I have been thinking about writing a Rule of Life in place of annual goal setting, and I was first introduced to it in a book by Peter Scazzero, called Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: It's Impossible to Be Spiritually Mature, While Remaining Emotionally Immature (affiliate link). He explains that a Rule of Life is like a trellis on which we train a vine to grow. Having a framework in place helps us to direct how we grow and ultimately helps us flourish. We’re all different in how we will live, but Scazzero says this in his book: Our goal is the same: union with God in Christ, transformation into his image, and the freeing of our hearts from anything that stands in the way of Christ living in and through us. How we get there will vary, depending on our personality, gift mix, temperament, geographic location, and particular calling from God. In addition, God will have different practices and emphases at different seasons and phases of our lives. (p 193) A Rule of Life is “an intentional, conscious plan to keep God at the center of everything we do. . . . The starting point and foundation of any Rule is a desire to be with God and to love him” (Scazzero, 196). This is freeing in that it carries from year to year and provides a framework for any goal we set or any commitment we consider making for our time, energy, money, etc. We can filer all of our decisions through our “Rule.” So, I did some additional research to find more resources that would help me write my own. Then I saw it come up in a post from the Gospel Coalition, so it was on my mind again. See the article Peter Scazzero includes these areas when creating a Rule of Life. These are some examples he gives in a worksheet about writing a rule (link below): PRAYER
Scripture - meditating on Scripture each day, a reading plan, praying the Psalms, etc. Silence and Solitude – this includes daily silence as well as a possible silent retreat. Daily Prayer – the plan might include prayers planned at times throughout the day. Study – you may want to take a Bible course, read Christian books, or use a Bible study resource for daily study.
REST
Sabbath –setting apart a 24-hour Sabbath time. Simplicity – this could include uncluttering, clearing time, changing finances, etc. Play and Recreation – this includes finding activities that breathe life in you.
WORK/ACTIVITY
Service and Mission – this includes using your time, or talents to serve others. Care for the Physical Body – this includes sleep, exercise, and diet.
RELATIONSHIPS
Emotional Health – journaling, counseling, group connections are all included here Family – this includes growth to be a better spouse, parent, child, sibling.
Reaching your goals might be more about what you will give up than it is about what you need to add. Your UN-goals are just as important as your goals.
I talk a big game and give advice about setting goals and achieving your dreams. So how did I do with my own? In this episode, I share my intentions from last year and how I did with accomplishing them. Spoiler alert - I didn't get them all done! Let's continue the January series on goals and plans.
Let's talk about how you did with the goals you set in 2019. If there are some that you didn't achieve, what got in the way? In this episode, we reivew some of the ways we sometimes need to adapt in order to deal with real life and to let go of some of our aspirations without guilt.
In this episode:
Life isn't easy. There are days when it would be nice to have someone tuck us in, read us a bedtime story, and assure us about happily ever after. This story is for you. A word of hope to let you know you matter. Inspired Life: A Parable About Treasure Life, Repurposed: A Word of Hope Recommended Resource This blogzine content is on the podcast on iTunes (Apple Podcasts), Google Play, Spotify, and on YouTube as well!
Podcast
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Inspired Life: A Parable About Treasure Have you ever had a day when you wish you could have a word that assured you that there was some sort of order to this mess we call life? You probably already know that life doesn't come without hardship. It can feel like a long journey from one challenge to another. If you remember the fairytales of childhood, you know that happily ever after was a common thread. But life doesn't go that way, does it? There are moments of happiness, but reality includes a dose of heartache too. It's more about living joyfully ever after – where there is hope in the midst of the real stuff. But don't you have days where you want someone to tuck you in, bring you a glass of milk, and read you a bedtime story? This podcast episode is just that! I read my book Jewel: A Parable About Living as a Precious Treasure for you in this episode. From girls to grownups, this is a message about how much you matter and of hope for the future.
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Life, Repurposed: A Word of Hope I love knowing that God has a plan for my life and that it includes a promise! God offers us the opportunity to be adopted into his family. We're still part of our earthly family,
In this issue:
Sleep deprivation, the endless laundry mountain, crazy to-do lists and diapers and dishes made young mother Courtney Ellis wonder what it would look like to be closer to Jesus and enjoy spiritual practices of prayer, studying Scripture, and more. In our interview, she talks with Michelle about how she met Jesus in the everyday stuff of life.
Podcast
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Inspired Life: Holy Mama - Almost
In this episode, I interviewed author Courtney Ellis, this time to talk about how she pursued holiness and found it in the middle of the flaws of real life. If you haven't listened to my other interview with Courtney Ellis, be sure to check out episode 19 - Uncluttered: Free from Overwhelm I just have to put this out there. A conversation with Courtney is fun. So fun! She is witty and right there with the perfect comment. She writes that way too, for the record. In our chat, Courtney talked about what it was like to run on empty and long for more. She talked about the books out there on spiritual disciplines (something she calls spiritual practices because the word "discipline" can be misunderstood sometimes.) She came to realize those books were written by monks, childless people, and men who haven't had full responsibility for raising toddlers. There were no hours of silence and solitude available for her as a weary mom. So Courtney decided to bring the moments into her everyday life. She did little 30-day experiments where she looked for Jesus in the midst of the chaos. Sometimes it was writing Scripture on her shower walls. Sometimes it was praying in the car. She and her husband (both pastors) brought an ancient practice of "the Examen" to their evening meal and have taught their children to share their ups and downs, successes and failures of the day. Courtney learned how to make it work even though her son is what she calls "a toaster child" who pops up alert and ready to take on the day before most other humans are ready. Getting up to spend time with Jesus before this boy would have meant getting up at 4 am. Uh, no. Thus how she ended up showering with Scripture. But let me back up. I have to share this from her book, Almost Holy Mama. Prior to her holiness experiment Courtney's husband, Daryl, had started asking if she was ok in the mornings. "Is everything okay? Did I say something that's bothering you?" I'd answer it in the same way each day: "You're not bothering me; being awake is bothering me." Apparently my normal morning face tells passersby that I might commit homicide. Realizing that she was not going to find some miraculous extra time in her day, Courtney found a way to make it work by writing Scripture on the walls in the shower and meditating on it. It filled her soul with something she had thirsted for.
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In this issue:
If life doesn't go the way you expected, how can you keep smiling? It isn't easy, but it's possible to find pockets of joy in the middle of even the toughest situations. In this episode, guest Kathy Carlton Willis talks about how she became God's Grin Gal and how her own hardships gave her purpose in life.
Podcast
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Inspired Life: Grin with Grace In this episode, I interviewed author Kathy Carlton Willis, God's Grin Gal. Kathy has a story to tell about how God has brought her through so many unexpected turns in life and she has still come out smiling with his joy! Kathy talked about how she learned as a teen that she was born without most of her reproductive organs and would never be able to have a baby. She also talked about how she has some through more than 20 surgeries and has had health crises related to chronic conditions; she has "weathered" several natural disasters and storms too. Kathy also discussed how moving often as a pastor's wife sometimes left her without the support of close friends and community during times when she was building new friendships. Sometimes we think that the people with the smiles are the ones who have had an easy life, and this is not really the case. It's the ones who have learned to see God at work that find real joy. We aren't talking about fake smiles, but real joy that doesn't come from what happens to us, but what God does through us. Kathy's story is inspiring! One of Kathy's life discoveries has been in learning how to react and adjust when God's plan didn't match the one she had set out for herself. For any listener who feels as if they have lost their joy, I encourage you to listen to this episode and to follow Kathy on social media to learn more about how God continues to bring joy into her life, despite ongoing challenges. Kathy on the web at KathyCarltonWillis.com Find Kathy on Facebook
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In this issue:
This is for anyone who has ever wished they could escape from regular life for just a few days; a personal retreat is calling your name! A getaway with God is a time to pull away, refresh, and renew. But where does someone start? Author Letitia Suk makes a guest appearance to explain how her own personal retreat turned into a ministry of helping others plan their own getaways. We talk about how it has changed her life and the lives of others.
Podcast
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Inspired Life: It Isn't a Girls Weekend In this episode, I interviewed Letitia Suk, author of Getaway with God: The Everywoman's Guide to Personal Retreat. I think the idea of a personal retreat sounds fantastic. But I often wonder where I could begin. In her book, Letitia (Tish) gives ideas for the entire process. I'll talk more about that in the resources section at the end of this issue, but for now, let's focus on why we need a getaway sometimes. This is different from a girls weekend where you go away with friends. That is fun, and it's an escape, but it isn't always refreshing. Have you ever felt as if you needed a vacation after a vacation? That's how a weekend with friends can be with crafting and shopping and scheduled activities. But a getaway with God is personal. Even if you go away with friends to do a group getaway, most of the time is spent by yourself with God. For some, it's a weekend planned for spiritual renewal. For others it's a time to physically rest and just be with God. It's important to note that a getaway is not for super-spiritual people who want some sort of "nun for a day" experience, as Tish puts it. But it isn't a vacation either. Tish says, "For a day or two, you check yourself into a place to rest, pray, listen to God, feel his love, take a walk, and enjoy a nap or two" (p. 21). This restores a soul in a way that no chocolate or mocha frappuccino can! Tish gives some ideas for where to go, what to pack, what to do, and how to personalize it for your needs. I don't think we need to be convinced any more of how much we need it, but in the next section, let's look at how it benefits us and changes us to have personal time away. Find Letitia Suk on Facebook
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In this issue:
Is your schedule crammed? Your space full of too much stuff? Your soul overwhelmed with too much of everything? Author Courtney Ellis makes a guest appearance to talk about a simpler life based on the idea that less is more. Courtney is funny and witty and so honest about her own struggles in a way that encourages us to believe we can find the same freedom she has.
Podcast
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Inspired Life: It's Too Much In this episode, I interviewed Courtney Ellis, author of Uncluttered: Free Your Space, Free Your Schedule, Free Your Soul. Courtney is a co-pastor of a church with her husband, a writer, and mom of three young children. She says that as co-ministry partners, she and her husband have a deal that whoever was home with the kids that day had the harder day. "No one pooped on the floor at your meeting," she says when describing how they arrived at this arrangement. Where did the concept for Uncluttered come from? Courtney described how she arrived at a point where she needed to make a change. She says we come to change from having a point of pain. Her point of pain was feeling overwhelmed in every area of her life. Too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. For Courtney, it was too much stuff, too much technology, too many yeses, too many activities. She said she told her small group that it was too much. Seeking clarification, a friend in the group asked her, "What is too much?" "Everything. It's all too much," she said. Have you been there too? One of the hardest things for her was learning to say no. She tells a story in this episode about when it was their family's turn to take the preschool bird home. The only slot was the week of her due date. Because, why not be responsible for a bird when you're going to give birth? When she told her husband, Daryl, about the arrangement he said, "You didn't make the preschool get a bird. Why do we have to take it home?" Isn't that true sometimes? We have "obligations" because of someone else's choices. Be sure to listen to the podcast to hear Courtney's bird story and also about how she has simplified her wardrobe by eliminating color from her closet (really!) and how she eased off on technology.
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In this issue:
Do you ever feel as if you're always running and never have time to rest? When was the last time you took a day to refresh? I'll use my own struggle as exhibit A for why a sabbath is important, and I'll share some resources with ideas for how to give yourself a break.
Podcast
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Inspired Life: You Can't Do it All I need to make a confession. I can't do all the things. You can't either. And if, like me, you have tried, you might have realized that it's a recipe for implosion. I get snappy and weepy when I'm overwhelmed. And I get confused about which step I should take next. My first solution is often to cut out rest - so I go to bed later and work on weekends. I schedule things for Sundays that would usually fall on a different day. Or I pack the weekends and evenings so full that I don't feel the least bit rested. I haven't been good to myself lately, and I knew it was time to make a new commitment to making sure I don't burn out. When my husband and I had a come-to-Jesus meeting recently, the focus of our chat was about how we had no margin, about how I was stressed, and how we needed to make a change. I love my work, so it sounds weird to talk about it as being stressful, but even really good things can be stressful! Even the best things! If you've ever been overcommitted you know how that goes. If you have ever had a lot of yesses that led to a lot of regrets, you understand. You might be the super volunteer that everyone turns to. But that can be too much too. Too many lunch meetings and your productivity disappears - someone has to work, right? Too much chocolate and new belly rolls appear. Too much of anything can be good or bad, depending on what other important things it bumps out of our life. My problem is that I had started to let my work spill over into Saturdays and then into Sundays. I'm a writer, but I also have clients and have an editing and book design business that I run. Balancing my own creative work and the work I do for clients, along with the volunteering I do at church is a little bit of a science. And the whole thing was a science experiment about to blow up. Below I will tell more of the ideas I discovered and the commitment my husband and I have made to sabbath rest. When I was a child, sabbath meant taking naps and not doing certain recreational things on Sundays. But as an adult, I have developed a different, and less legalistic view of a sabbath. It might be active, or it might be rest. It might be spiritual, or it might be recreational. But it is something restorative.
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In this issue:
What happens when life doesn't go the way you've planned, when your plan A is no longer part of the picture? It's hard to embrace plan B, and maybe we don't like it at all, but resilience has a lot to do with how we frame our thinking. In this issue, we talk about facing adversity, finding hope, and discovering resilience.
Podcast
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Inspired Life: Facing Adversity and Grief The heart of my writing and speaking is helping people discover gems in the midst of life's difficulties. Life is hard. Sometimes, circumstances outside of our control leave us on a path that looks nothing like what we had planned. A loss of any kind is a blow that can change the course of our future. Sometimes we can be so resilient and other times we feel powerless, and whenever we have a challenge, our resilience might not be immediately evident. It's really a process of getting to a place of joy again after a terrible loss. I recently ready the book Option B, by Sheryl Sandberg. (Keep on scrolling to find the link to it in the resources section below.) Sheryl's story moved me. She was on vacation with her husband and a bunch of friends, when he collapsed and died during a workout at the resort gym. Life as Sheryl knew it stopped. In the book, she writes about her journey through grief and how she learned to live again after losing the love of her life. If you haven't experienced adversity and you aren't grieving right now, this is your opportunity to learn how to be a good friend to someone else. Sheryl talks in her book about how some friends responded with her husband Dave died. Some were helpful. Some, in their awkwardness, essentially abandoned her. Some said unhelpful things. Her loss was the elephant in the room in so many situations after Dave's death.
Sometimes others expect us to act a certain way after a loss, and I want us all to examine whether or not we have let others process their loss as they need to. Have we let them experience the support they need, rather than judging, or blaming, or ignoring their struggle? If you're in the middle of a difficult time, remember that others might be so busy with their own life that they don't see your pain. Heartbreaking, but true. We need to speak up and ask for help. I know, that's hard. But it is important to be real with people about our feelings and our struggles. That might mean we have to reach out to them. Yes, in a perfect world people would notice our pain and reach out to us. But let's give them grace in their own overwhelm and see that they might not have the margin in their lives to even notice our struggle. Let's all be human! Be real with our struggles. Be honest about our hurt and pain. Mutually love and support one another in our grief. That's the path to resilience.
In this issue:
Are you working 9 to 5 and not feeling fulfilled in the work you do? Do you long for more than just a paycheck? What if you could start over and pursue what you really want to do? Discover how pursuing a new dream doesn't have to equal becoming a starving artist.
Podcast
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Inspired Life: Career Change When I was in high school, I wasn't sure what I wanted to pursue in college. I shadowed my mom at her job as a nurse and thought maybe that was the thing for me too. A guidance counselor confirmed that this would be a good choice for me in a market that was full of incentives for people coming out of college in that field. I had thought about something more creative, as I loved arts and crafts, music, writing, reading, and all sorts of artistic pursuits. But I was good at science too, so I went for the career that pays the bills. Imagine if you had this conversation with a 3-year-old: Adult: "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Child: "An artist who paints clouds." Adult: "You won't be able to buy insurance or a house with that job. You will live with your parents and eat macaroni and cheese forever." Child: "This is perfect." Adult: "You'll need to do something responsible." Child: "What's a-spon-sible?" We would not have this sort of conversation with a child. We nurture the dream and entertain the idea that anything is possible. So why do we kill our own dreams and talk ourselves into doing something responsible. Why do we give up on the idea that we could be both responsible AND have fulfilling work? Can you relate? Have you made a smart career choice, but you have long passed the point of expecting to be fulfilled in that work? A paycheck isn't always enough to make us want to get up and go to work every day. What if you could love your job AND get paid for it? I'm 50 years old. My career is just taking off! It isn't too late to discover how to do what you always wanted to do.
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In this issue:
Cancer came unexpectedly and Joanie put life on hold, paused her career as a nurse, and in days was headed for surgery. In the aftermath of chemo and cancer, Joanie is a survivor. She now supports others going through the journey, and has published a book, In Her Shoes: Dancing in the Shadow of Cancer to encourage women and equip them with Scripture, hope and resources.
Podcast
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Inspired Life: Unexpected Health Crisis Joanie Shawhan was working as a registered nurse when she discovered a lump in her abdomen. She'd worked as an oncology nurse in the past. She knew the warning signs. It even crossed her mind a few times. But it was when she felt that mass that she sought medical attention right away. After watching many others go through chemotherapy, she said she'd never do it if her turn came. But facing cancer made her rethink it, and within days she had the surgery to remove the tumor, and shortly after started chemo. Faced with more questions than answers, suddenly Joanie was on the other side of the bed. She has been cancer-free for thirteen years, but she still has vivid memories of her diagnosis, the treatments, the hard days. One of her hardest was when she was in pain and feeling as if the treatments were never going to come to an end. Joanie says she reached out to God in the midst of her darkest days and found encouragement there. She also had the support of friends and family who surrounded her with prayer and love. In her book, she includes twelve steps to spiritual wellness even in the midst of illness. These include ideas for journaling, prayer, laughter and nine more.
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Life,
In this issue:
Sometimes friends pile a lot of shoulds on each other. Have you caught yourself telling someone what they ought to do, rather than listening? Are you tired of being the one that others heap their shoulds on? Learn tips for how to learn to be a friend rather than a fixer, and how to reply when someone tries to fix you. Also discover a small group resource that you and your friends might want to consider.
Podcast
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Inspired Life: Burdened by Should Have you ever noticed that when someone starts to tell you about something that happened to them, you start to think of responses and solutions? Many times, those start with should. I have caught myself doing this so often. I say things such as:
You should try…. You should tell him… You should be happy that…
Sometimes we have a genuine solution, but that isn’t what the friend is looking for right then. They just want a listening ear. I was working on a writing project recently when I noticed that should is two letters away from the word shoulder. When we tell someone what we think they should do, we ask them to shoulder a burden. It might be that we pile guilt on. Or we pile on responsibility, when someone is already feeling a heavy load. What can we do when we want to tell someone what they should do? I’m not saying you SHOULD do this, but here are five tips: 1) Instead of telling them what they should do, ask a question. What solutions have you tried? What do you think your next step will be? How do you feel about that? Do you see a possible resolution? 2) Clarify and reflect what you heard them say. So what I hear you saying is that you’re frustrated because… I think I understand that you’re saying… 3) Stop the story in your head that starts to think of a one-up story. “You think that’s bad…let me tell you about MY situation.” This includes not giving advice that says, “When that happened to me I….You should try that too.” 4) Avoid the cousin to should – shouldn’t. “You shouldn’t have done that.” 5) Ask for permission before sharing advice. “Would you like my input with advice, or do you prefer a listening ear?” Our Goal Is Listening Sometimes we like to fix other people. We want to provide perfect, happy solutions that make their life better. But instead, we pile on guilt or a feeling of inadequacy. Instead, we can practice listening to others. I have caught myself offering “should” several times this week. It might not always look the same, but here are some words that imply the same thing:
Here’s what I would do… Why haven’t you….? Just tell them…
Instead of telling a friend “you should pray about this,” ask if they would like you to pray with them right there. “May I pray with you about this right now?” With a little practice, we can learn how to be a wonderful listening friend.
Your physical, emotional, and spiritual health have everything to do with your wellbeing. The before-and-after story of health should include more than a drop of the number on the scale. It's really about experiencing life in a whole new way. In this episode, Susan Neal chats with Michelle about healthy living.
Do you think you need one more class, one more seminar, one more book or another tutoring session before you get started on your goals? Will that be enough? You already have everything you need! Let’s get moving!
Do you find yourself apologizing for things that are out of your control? Do you see yourself as less-than? Develop and awareness of how often you apologize, break the lies that keep you from seeing your God-given value, and learn how you can take steps to live in the light of truth.
Explore why we procrastinate and learn seven tips for breaking the habits that lead to unproductive behaviors. You’ll be encouraged to think about how putting something off might take longer than actually doing it, and get links to more than three resources to get you started with new habits.
Our world needs more positive things such as kindness, grace, love, encouragement. But there is also a growing fear of expressing anything that isn’t positive. In this issue, you'll learn about positivity and why we need to have a balance between true positivity and reality, and how to frame it so we are not suppressing real feelings. You'll also get to know a woman who realized that what she thought was truth turned out to be a great deception, and hear how she's spreading a new message.
In this issue, we take a lighthearted look at the complicated emotions that go along with how honest we are about weight loss or weight gain and have a heart-to-heart about self-image. Explore why Michelle loves vintage cameras so much, and learn about the resource that was the inspiration for this blog.
In this issue:
Figuring out what really matters can be an emotional process. Learn how to sort through priorities and get perspective, challenge yourself to eliminate unnecessary possessions, and learn about not settling for more – yes, you read that right.
Podcast
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Inspired Life: What Really Matters In a previous issue, I mentioned that I was going to talk about how to determine your priorities. I once experienced this in a very visual way and I have modified that activity for you to try. This is going to be tough, but stay with me, because it has the potential to be meaningful. We often think we have to have it all when it comes to activities and friendships and hobbies. We might think we really want something – like a new gadget or a big purchase. But if we had to lay it all on the line and figure out what matters, it might not be as important as we think. Sort It Out Grab six pieces of paper. It can be scratch paper if you wish, but just 6 things to write on. I want you to make the following notes, one on each paper.
Write “God and my relationship with Jesus.” I will explain this in a bit. Write the names of your children (if you don't have children, write down the name/names of someone who is important to you. Write the name of someone who really matters to you. Someone you love deeply. This might be a significant other, but it's up to you and your circumstances. Write down a hobby or activity that you really enjoy. Write down an activity that you do that takes a lot of your energy. It might be good or bad. Write down something you would buy for yourself if you had an unlimited supply of money.
Imagine that you become terribly sick and the doctor tells you it's serious. You're going to have to give up something for the sake of your health. Choose one of your papers and crumple it up. It’s a few weeks later and you can't carry out your normal activities. You realize you must give up something else. Choose another paper and crumple it up. Several weeks later, you haven't improved. The doctor isn't sure about your prognosis, but it doesn't look good. You have so much on your to-do list, but you can’t do a thing. But still, you're faced with a choice. You must give up something else from the things that are dear to you. Choose another paper and crumple it up. Taking Stock of Priorities I want you to look at what you have left. Imagine what it would be like if I went through all of those papers. I won't, but when I experienced this activity, I had to get it down to one thing. It was emotional for me. You might wonder why I had you write God on one of the papers. For some people, God and Jesus really are not part of everyday life, and it’s easy to remove that from the priorities. For others, they believe that God is important, but when faced with a choice,
In this issue:
Are goals really important? What if I prefer to wing it? If you're a perfectionist, you may or may not love to set goals, or maybe the process seems too overwhelming for you. This issue will help you look at goals in a different way, inspire you with practical ways to make your intentions memorable and visual, and two books that can give you lots of helpful insight as you get started. Here's wishing you a fantastic new year!
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Inspired Life: To Goal or Not to Goal I'm writing this at the time of year when people talk about New Year’s resolutions and goals. But if you're reading or listening mid-year, no worries! You can set goals at any time. Some people spend a whole day working on their goals for the year, and even come up with a word for the year. I want to be very up front with you. I don’t love setting goals. Or at least I didn’t use to. Now, I don’t LOVE it, but I have learned to see the value in it and have learned how to set some goals that are more realistic and work for me. I know now that one of the main reasons I didn’t like setting goals in the past is that I am a perfectionist. And the idea of setting a goal and not perfectly achieving it is frustrating. Here are some things I tried:
Creating an elaborate plan complete with deadlines and measurable outcomes. But I put all of the effort into the plan and none into action. Then I tried setting my goals so low that I could easily achieve them. There was no stretch. No challenge. Then I tried not setting any goals at all and sort of flying by the seat of my pants for the year. When I had time, I would tackle something and get it done.
I’m not content to not accomplish anything. My number one strength on the CliftonStrenghts by Gallop is Achiever. I can’t not achieve. So there you have my dilemma. I have a need to achieve, but as a perfectionist, it was too risky to declare what I wanted to achieve. What if I didn’t do it?
What if I messed it all up? What if I decide to go in a different direction? What if I don’t leave enough room for a change of mind? Silly, but it's my reality. I had a wakeup call one day when I realized that having goals is important for living a fulfilled and satisfied life. Why? Because I need to look ahead and picture something in the future. And if I have no goals, I will waste the talents and opportunities that God has given me. Goals direct us toward our best. They help us evaluate and change and grow. The wakeup call came a couple of years ago when I was working a job I enjoyed, but where I was struggling to figure out if I belonged there. I was using my strengths and abilities and was making a difference for clients. Hopefully I was making a difference for the others on my team too. But at the end of every day,
In this issue:
Six Christmas personalities: find out which one fits you best. Discover how Christmas perfection took an unexpected turn when a little critter came to visit. Plus, get Michelle's reading recommendation for Christmas and the New Year.
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Inspired Life: What's Your Christmas Personality? I love Christmas. I got married 29 Christmases ago because I wanted the lights and trees and the snow for our wedding. I used to cut pine boughs and put them all over the house, even in the bathroom! I put lights in every window and swapped out all the décor for a month. Then I would put it all back in the basement again. Sigh. Undecorating was the worst. And over the years, I have realized that I overdid Christmas. It wore me out. I was proud of the fact that my friends and family once called me “Michelle Stewart” after the famous cooking and decorating guru that now seems SO over the top. I remember when I read an article from Ms. Stewart about prepping for Christmas. She handmade even the candles. She handmade the ornaments, baked the cookies from real butter, and made even the wrapping paper for the gifts. Nuts! Yes, it was nice when my house smelled like baking, Christmas music filled the air, and I was known to wear an apron for most of December. But I have a better solution. Candles that smell like caramel and cinnamon. Then there are all of the events we could go to. Parties and concerts and gift exchanges. Does anyone ever sleep in December? I remember when would go with little people, everyone whining, dragging feet. I said stuff like, "We are going to a party and you are going to like it, darn it. You are going to have fun. Is that clear?" I am standing up to say no. I have a tree in my house. And a small evergreen on my dining table. That’s it. The undecorating will be done before I finish my last Hallmark Christmas movie. I won’t be spending all of 2019 paying of the Christmas presents either. At this time of year, we all have different reactions. Which is your Christmas personality? Let's look at 6 personality profiles and see if you can identify with any, or several, of them. Perfect Polly – Wants the Martha Stewart Christmas with everything over the top.
She follows Martha's guide to the perfect Christmas The Dollar Store won't do She doesn't just light the candles, she makes them by hand. She hosts the perfect parties and makes it look effortless. Inside, she's exhausted. Polly sends out her handmade Christmas cards on time and writes what my friend calls a "Lake Woebegone Christmas letter"—where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average. She decks the halls with real pine boughs, garland, lights, it's a Better Homes and Gardens advertisement.
Bitter Betty – Hates the holidays,
In this issue:
Secrets to a long marriage based on friendship, four ready-to-print downloads for wedding shower games, plus a fun bonus freebie, and my recommendations for two resources that could help your marriage.
Podcast
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Inspired Life: Wedding on the Brain I recorded the podcast for this issue just two days before my son’s wedding. It was crazy and I should have been packing stuff! I had been working on chalkboards all week, but in that moment, thinking about the weekend had me thinking about weddings and I wanted to capture my thoughts. But more than weddings, our son's wedding had me thinking about marriage, because marriage is more than a wedding. Sometimes we can get so caught up in the romance of the event of a wedding that we miss the point of the whole thing. I’ve loved the process of planning with both of our sons and their wives. I’ve appreciated that they have both focused on the marriage as well as the wedding. Phil and I have been married for more than 28 years. We met when I was fifteen and we started dating when I was sixteen. We were so young and immature, but we both saw qualities in each other that we knew matched our long-term life values. We exchanged our vows when I was only 20 and he was 23. Young Love What did we know about life then? We had no idea where the road would lead, but we headed out on the journey anyway. There have been many times we’ve been frustrated. Many times we didn’t feel like best friends. Feelings lie. Feelings tell me that he’s doesn't meet my needs. I'm happy to say that we stuck it out and we're more deeply in love now than we were when we said our vows. The hardest days were when our children were small. I know there might be someone out there who is in the shoes I was in 20-something years ago when our boys were little and every day felt like an uphill climb. Between mothering and othering (taking care of everyone else) and volunteering and friends and family, there was a time when the "us" didn’t feel like the us I was hoping for when we got married. There were days when paying the bills and wiping noses and potty training dimmed the light and made us wonder if we still knew each other. But there are several things that got us through: Connected – We’re committed only to each other, no matter what. That means we don’t complain about problems with each other with someone else. We keep our hearts connected, even when the relationship doesn’t feel perfect. Covenant – We honor the covenant we made. Marriage isn’t just a piece of paper. It’s a promise we made before God that transcends difficulty and the ups and downs. It also means we have a respect for the other person that begins with a commitment to God first. Communication – We talk about stuff. It isn’t easy,
In this issue:
Learn how perfectionism might be what's frustrating you in your journey toward weight loss and wellness. Embrace the imperfection of a good shabby chic paint makeover and get a DIY recipe for chalk paint for your next project, big or small. Learn more about a book that helps with taming your inner critic.
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Inspired Life: Wellness and Perfection For years, I have tried to get healthier, lose weight, and stick to a plan. As a perfectionist, I've caught myself thinking that if I couldn't do it perfect, I couldn't do it at all. Or I sabotaged my own efforts and then shamed and guilted myself for those choices. I've been learning that it's a journey. I want to be healthier. Healthier than I was last year and the year before that. But the definition of healthy for me is not the same as someone else's definition of healthy. As part of our Christian sharing alternative to health insurance, Liberty Healthshare* requires me to have a health coach while I'm working toward my optimal weight. When I first joined, health was determined by a number on a scale and a chart in a database. But I'm grateful to see some changes in how medicine is viewing health, and now, there are other factors that go into determining wellness. Lifestyle, activity, food choices and more are all part of the wellness process. What I Have Learned About Weight and Perfectionism I'm slowly discovering that how to change my motivation from a number on the scale, to a mindset. Maybe you've been there too. You eat "perfect" all week and have some amazing workouts. You think you're skinnier for sure. So you hop on the scale and don't ever worry about taking off your socks and unmentionables this time. You don't care about the extra ounces. And then you find out the scale is UP. Yes. Up. By three stinking pounds! And you say, "I've failed." But have you? You ate healthy food and moved your body. You set your mind on making healthy choices. You won. But you measured your success by the wrong thing. If you're a perfectionist, you noted that everything aligned, but now that you see that the scale didn't, you toss out the success of the whole week because of that number. The mind shift that needs to take place is learning to measure success by a new parameters. Perfection isn't the goal, but instead, progress is. This means giving yourself some grace when your outcome isn't what you'd hoped for, or you did the best you could. I have made progress over the last two years. It has been slow, but I'm dedicated to the process of learning and changing. If you're on a journey away from perfectionism toward progress, I would love to hear your story! Message me on e-mail or social media with your st...
In this issue:
Take the challenge to purge something from your closet, schedule, or cupboards and enjoy the freedom of simplifying! See how a little paint can transform a plywood built-in cabinet into something classy. And learn more about how a new book is helping people heal from grief. Whether your next project is simplifying and tossing, re-doing something that needs a makeover, or moving forward from grief, we'd love to hear your story!
Podcast
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Inspired Life: Purging The Excess What do you have too much of? Do you open a storage closet, only to have to duck to avoid the avalanche of stuff? Are your cupboards too crammed for your dishes? Is your clothes closet bursting to the point of needing to un-wedge articles of clothing from between rows clothing hangers to wear something. Inevitably, this means it is wrinkled beyond slept-in-it quality. Does your schedule have too many appointments? Too much stress from overcommitment? Are you double-booked on most days? Perhaps you have too much food on your plate, which leads to too much padding on your bottom. I can relate to this one. Well, I can actually relate to all of them. As I started the china hutch project in the section below, I needed to remove everything from the shelves. As I loaded it into the dishwasher in batches to clean off the layers of dust, I wondered, when was the last time I used this serving bowl? Have I ever used these teacups? I decided that a makeover of the cabinet was a perfect opportunity to purge excess from my cupboards. It felt great to box up some for the local charity and a few heirlooms for storage in the cabinet below. The extra space around the remaining items makes them all look like they can breathe now. Looking at it before was like standing before the doors of the light rail transit train at the airport when it opens and I'm wheeling two suitcases. Sometimes I have to wait for the next train if I don't want to stand with my nose in the armpit of another traveler. I know! Not a pretty picture at all. Where do you need margin most in your life? Where could a purge bring you peace and joy? If you take an action step, would you send me a message by email or social media to let me know how it went? I'd love to send you a digital high five!
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In this issue: Learn why repurposing is just a way of appreciating the story in broken things, be inspired to make self-care a regular part of your life with no guilt, and learn more about a new book that's coming out that helps you discover God in the midst of everyday life.
This post marks the beginning of a new format for my blog! The new magazine-style format will include three elements in each issue: 1) a practical real-life article to inspire you to repurpose your own struggles or challenges into growth opportunities, 2) a fun repurposed or before-and-after idea, and 3) a reading recommendation for you to consider. I love books, all things trash-to-treasure, and helping women discover hope - something I hopes you enjoy in every issue! At the top of each issue, you'll find a summary of what's included in the content. That will also come to your inbox if you subscribe to the blog. Long-term, my goal is to turn this into a podcast, and the blog issues will become the show notes for the podcast. Stay tuned for more!
Podcast
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Inspired Life: Making Time for Self-Care How often do you make time for yourself? And how often do you do that without feeling guilty about it? This past week, I made time for a massage. I hadn't had one in several years. On the way to the appointment, I passed the intersection of highways M and E. It made me ask myself, why have I trained myself to think me-time is selfish? I took a picture of the road sign just to remind myself to think about this question later.
It isn't that self-care is all about me, but more all about making sure I'm the best I can be. For you, that might be the best mom, or wife, or co-worker you can be. It might mean making sure you're rested enough to feel strong and healthy. It could mean taking a few minutes to clear your head in the hammock and process some throughs of gratitude. But it has to be guilt-free, and if you struggle with that, I'm right there with you! It feels indulgent, and necessary all at the same time. I also include spiritual health in self-care, because the state of my soul matters. This means taking time to read Scripture in the morning, and doodling in my coloring Bible. It means a few extra minutes with the snooze alarm if I need it. I'm an empty nester and self-employed. My apologies if your reality can't include a snooze button! The time spent doodling in my Bible allows me to meditate on - think about - what I just read and apply it to real life. It presses pause on the morning and says "slow down" before the rush even begins. What's your self-care possibility? Don't think about what everyone else can do, but consider what you can make real in your own life!
Some things to ask yourself: