Who Am I Really?: Recent Episodes
Damon L. Davis
Adoptees telling their own stories of life in adoption, their search for their birth family, and how their reunion attempt turned out. Stories that make you laugh, cry, or simply say "wow".
This podcast has two purposes: 1) To help you explore your own feelings about your adoption, accept your desire understand your own personal history, and decide for yourself whether reunification with your biological relatives is right for you. It will help you understand how others have dealt with issues related to protecting the feelings of their adopted families who may be supportive of your search, or question your motives and present challenges.
2) For non-adoptees, this podcast will help you understand some of what is in the minds of your friends, family members, or others who are adopted. Perhaps you had questions for them but you didn’t know if you should ask.
The stories will make you smile or bring you to tears, but they’re all true as told by the people who lived them. In them, I hope you’ll find something that inspires you, validates your feelings about wanting to search, or motivates you to have the strength along your journey to learn “Who Am I Really?”
Lauren, from southwest England in the UK, grew up knowing she was adopted and was loyal to her family, but applying to university and thinking through her life made her want to trace her roots. When she found her birth mother, she met a woman who started off chilly but warmed up when Lauren got to meet her parents, and Lauren learned that mother and daughter have something in common. Her birth father found her too, after Lauren sent a letter, but in the end she's not connected to either side of her birth families, choosing to let things be as they are.
This is Lauren's journey.
Women Of A Certain Stage, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube
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Nicole, from outside London in the UK, grew up in Australia. As a teenager, Nicole struggled with her adoption, so after reaching out for help, her birth mother was found, but that caused challenges with her adoptive parents. Soon after, Nicole’s birth father was found and proudly showcased, but she admits she wasn’t ready for that paternal relationship and wishes now that she had invested more in it back then.
Nicole also shared her feelings about how adopted people invest in parenting our own children.
This is Nicole’s journey.
Who Am I Really?
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Greg, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, said when his son was born, he thought he could stroll into the D.C. adoption system to ask for his adoption records, but he learned there were significant barriers to access. He’s one of the few people who found reunion through a registry, meeting his birth mother just in time to form a bond, then inheriting the true documentation of her past, more valuable than anything the courts could provide.
Greg still holds out hope that his birth father will warm up more quickly to get to know him one day. Until then...
...this is Greg's journey.
Who Am I Really?
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Christy, who called me from Utah, was deeply loved by her adoptive parents, who prayed she would be delivered to them. But throughout childhood, she was unable to shake the feeling of being abandoned. In reunion, Christy heard the hard truth of her conception, self-medicated to escape her feelings, then recovered to center herself in motherhood. Christy shared the importance of telling our stories, as another adoptee and journey mate did for her.
This is Christy's journey.
New Book! Inside the Adoptee Experience
Who Am I Really?
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Neshia, from outside of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, said her birth mother lived the street life and exposed her children to the full dark side of the choices she was making back then. Neshia credits one amazing foster family with showing her what a normal life as a child should be, but it was short-lived. Transplanted from the city into a rural transracial adoption, she was cast out as a teen, and trauma cycles repeated themselves. But today, Neshia is doing her best to be a mom to her own children, focusing on the glimmers of hope in her life.
This is Neshia's journey.
New Book! Inside the Adoptee Experience
Who Am I Really?
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Today is a special double adoptee episode with Noreen and Adrian. They both live in Massachusetts, but they were together in New Hampshire to meet someone special in Noreen's search. Her adoptive mother was very supportive and even spoke with her first mother.
For Adrian, the maternal search has had its ups and downs, including finding a grave, but their stories ended up converging when they found each other through DNA, developed an instant bond, and have since supported each other through a shared paternal search.
These are the individual and convergent journeys of Noreen and Adrian.
New Book! Inside the Adoptee Experience
Who Am I Really?
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Lori, from Missouri, said that growing up she wondered who her birth mother was, but it wasn’t until she received her original birth certificate that the gravity of her identity truly hit home.
Incredibly, documenting her search on social media led her to a very supportive search angel who already knew exactly who Lori was looking for.
She tried to correspond with her birth mother, but Lori was blocked and rejected, leaving her with only hope for the future. Still, Lori said finding each piece has given her peace.
This is Lori’s journey.
New Book! Inside the Adoptee Experience
Who Am I Really?
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Sharla, from West Texas, grew up never wanting to find her birth family. But in truth, she knows she was suppressing that feeling. After a DNA test, Sharla finally figured out she had made a paternal connection, but she didn't realize how close she had actually come to meeting her birth father.
Unfortunately, Sharla has gotten mixed signals from her birth mother, and now the woman has left her with negative comments. Sharla refuses to let her negativity drag her down.
This is Sharla's journey.
Who Am I Really?
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Elina, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, was born in Russia. She spent her early years in her birth family’s care before moving into foster care. Then, as a minor, she finalized her own adoption before departing for America. Elina grew up as one of four adoptees, each experiencing the impacts of adoption at different stages of their lives.
Elina has been contacted by her extended family, but she’s not interested in reconnecting with her birth mother. Instead, she’s focused on the deep healing work she wants to do for herself.
This is Elina’s journey.
Who Am I Really?
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Angie, from Southern Maryland. Growing up, Angie was frequently defined by her skin tone, as her relationship to her adoptive parents was questioned. Her contrast against her schoolmates and surrounding community made her stand out. When Angie found her birth mother, she was welcomed home—even by the woman responsible for her placement. But her paternal reunion was marked by an unremarkable connection and vitriolic remarks, which led Angie to take control of who she keeps in her life.
This is Angie’s journey.
Who Am I Really?
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Donna, from New Jersey, grew up questioning the origins of her looks. In college the uniqueness of her appearance sparked curiosity. Donna spent years with no way to locate her birth family until DNA testing presented links to her maternal and paternal families simultaneously. While it was tough to find graves on her search, Donna takes fulfillment from the acceptance she's gained and the fostering she provides to children in her community.
This is Donna's journey.
Who Am I Really?
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Rosalyn spoke to me from the suburbs of Cleveland, Ohio. As a teenager, she learned the truth about her adoption at her adoptive mother’s funeral—a discovery that was revealed harshly and without warning.
In reunion, Rosalyn said she found peace in the mirroring she saw with her first mother and her paternal family connections. But she refused to remain an unacknowledged secret with her birth father.
Make sure you listen through to the end, where Rosalyn reveals why her informal adoption has created serious problems for some of her most basic freedoms.
This is Rosalyn's journey.
Who Am I Really?
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Dr. Liz Debetta spoke to me from Plymouth, Michigan. Growing up, adoption was an open topic until her younger brother's birth changed the family's focus.
A series of bad relationships and feeling lost in life led Liz back to school where she rediscovered writing and the award-winning adoption story she's always had inside.
In reunion, Liz found the first mother whom she always knew wanted to know her. But herdeep exploration of her adoption has driven a wedge between Liz and her older brother.
This is Liz's journey.
LizDebetta.com
Inside the Adoptee Experience
Who Am I Really?
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Jim, from Gilroy, California, Jim was born in the early 1960s in San Jose, California. His adoption story is complex, shaped by the trauma and loss his adoptive parents faced after losing their youngest biological son. For Jim, the love he sought from his adoptive father was elusive, replaced by emotional and physical abuse in his adoptive family. As Jim searched for his biological family he was disappointed by some misleading events. and he uncovered some unexpected connections and painful revelations.
This is Jim's Journey.
Who Am I Really?
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Moses is an adoption trauma educator and therapist, but his own personal journey as an adoptee is one of hardship and resilience. To use his words, Moses was stolen from South Korea at the age of two, by his famous mother, to grow up as part of a transracial, international, and high profile family.
However, beneath the surface of fame Moses faced deep trauma, isolation, and tragedy. His story raises challenging questions about the adoption industry,
This is Moses Journey.
Who Am I Really?
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Lynn retains a New York accent, but she called me from North Carolina. As a young girl, Lynn should have been a carefree time in Lynn's life, but her home was a chaotic place. She said characterizing her home life as having a few challenges will be like saying Noah's Ark experienced a little rain. Instead of being a carefree kid. Lynn told me that she felt a responsibility for her younger siblings who experienced the same chaos she lived through at home. She was searching for a place where she would matter to someone at a young, vulnerable time in her life.
Pregnant with nowhere to turn, she placed her daughter for adoption, the hardest thing she's ever been forced to do.
In reunion, Lynn was stunned to receive her daughter's call out of the blue. She was thankful at how quickly they were able to see each other but is disappointed that the relationship has not gotten deeper.
Lynn is a first mother, and this is her journey.
SURVEY: Preliminary Exploration Into Adoption & Reunion
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Ken grew up in a mixed home with both biological and adopted siblings. While Ken was loved and treated equally, when his son was born, he felt the urge to learn more about his birth mother. When he found the woman living nearby, she answered Ken's phone call with inspiring words, expressing her expectation of that moment finally happening for her one day. Ken said there was a moment with his birth mother when it felt like time was standing still.
With her, he finally feels like he can be himself without people-pleasing behavior. This is Ken's journey.
I Will See You Again, by K. R. DeStefano
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Regina spoke to me from her home in North Carolina. When Regina was a child, she learned she was adopted and how other kids cruelly viewed adoptees. She never told anyone about being an adopted person until the big reveal in adulthood.
After seeking counseling to overcome the monster of adoption, Regina finally sought reunion. She found her birth mother and father in the same day, and eventually heard from her siblings that she was fortunate for the opportunities that adoption provided her.
This is Regina is journey.
Book- Adoption: The Unknown Blessing
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Steven, from Bainbridge Island, Washington—across the Puget Sound from Seattle—shared his that when he was a kid, it only took one incident to solidify his resolve never to ask his adoptive mother about his adoption.
In a maternal reunion, Stephen was confronted with the reality that, while his birth mother was not mentally capable of taking care of herself, she never forgot about her son.
On his maternal side, it was DNA testing that finally gave Steven the breakthrough he needed after decades of inquiry.
This is Steven's journey.
Who Am I Really?
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Lena, from just north of Tampa, Florida grew up surrounded by adoptees. However, as she got older, Lena began to feel how different she was. While working toward her degree in social work, Lena's studies unexpectedly led her down the path to reunion. While her birth father has been nothing but supportive, Lena said she can't force a maternal reunion with someone who has not healed yet herself.
This is Lena's journey.
Who Am I Really?
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One of the important things to do when sharing adoptee stories is try to empathize with our birth mothers. This is a special presentation of the "Who Am I Really?" podcast for "Birth Mother's Day". Working with Ed DiGangi (ep. 130) we highlight the stories of three birth mothers, Yvonne, Sarah, and Laura who share their personal stories of being stigmatized, coerced, and misinformed about their child's adoption. They share their struggles carrying the memory of the children they placed, the process of mental and physical recovery from giving birth, and the secrecy some held for years about what they had endured as young women.
Birth Mother's Day is observed on the Saturday before Mother's Day in order to honor birth mothers' experiences.
D. Yvonne Rivers - Host of Birth Moms Real Talk podcast
Laura Engel - Author of You'll Forget This Ever Happened
Sarah Maury Swan - Writer and multiple book author
Ed DiGangi, Adoptee - Author of The Gift Best Given
Who Am I Really?
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When a child is in need of support to help navigate the traumatic experiences in their lives. Renowned psychiatrist, neuroscientist, and leading authority on childhood trauma Dr. Bruce D. Perry is the man to call.
Dr. Perry has researched childhood trauma and its impact on brain development and behavior throughout his decades, long distinguished career. Perry's dedication to understanding and addressing the effects of trauma on individuals, families, and communities has played a pivotal role In advancing our understanding of trauma informed care and resilience, building strategies.
Dr. Perry is the co-author of the New York Times #1 best seller. "What Happened To You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing," co-authored with none other than Oprah Winfrey. You're about to hear Dr. Perry delve into the transformative power of understanding trauma, our ability to reprogram our brains, and a wonderful explanation of a theory a lot of adoptees have relied on for healing.
It is my pleasure to present to you my conversation with Dr. Bruce D. Perry.
Neurosequential.com
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Doris, who lives between Sacramento and Lake Tahoe, California, was adopted after her adoptive mother's repetitive attempts at pregnancy. Doris then had to endure herself centeredness -- a residual trauma of her failed pregnancies -- and her narcissism, which prevented her from being the mother Doris needed. I
n reunion, Doris was welcomed by some of her extended family, but chose to try to meet her birth mother face to face, to hopefully avoid being rejected.
You will be stunned by the outcome of Doris's trip to her birth mother's home and empowered by how she focuses on the positivity of her experience. This is Doris his journey.
ReckoningWithThePrimalWound
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Monica, from outside of Sacramento, California, shares her double story as an adoptee and a birth mother.
When Monica was a kid getting dumped by her adoptive mother sent her down a path of bad-girl attention seeking that, put her in dangerous situations.
In reunion she discovered her heritage is tied to native people of North America and that her instinct to search was well-timed because her passionate drive was matched by someone else very important to Monica who was looking for her too.
As an adoptee, Monica holds a unique perspective that helped her prepare for one of the most pivotal moments in her life.
Trigger warning: Around 20 minutes into the episode Monica discusses a violent act inflicted against her.
This is Monica's journey.
MonicaHall.com
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Angela, from Seattle Washington, grew up in a home full of adoptees whose adoptions were prioritized because of perceived medical needs, including her own. Angela pursued reunion, expecting she would search for and find her birth mother and they would look just the like,
Instead, Angela first found a man who was loved by his community and when she appeared there in his town where she was born, everyone knew exactly who she was because of her close. paternal resemblance.
Angela's maternal reunion started with a jarring introduction that initiated with what she thought would be a reunion rejection, but eventually evolved into a maternal connection. Angela is the author of "You Should Be Grateful: Stories of race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption".
AngelaTucker.com
This is Angela's journey.Who Am I Really?
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Jane, from outside of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, grew up knowing she was adopted, comfortable with the fact, and even knowing her birth name from a young age.
After her adoptive parents passed away, Jane obtained as much identifying information as possible and submitted two DNA tests. The amalgamation of resources all provided supporting clues to her maternal and paternal sides.
In reunion, Jane found a man who didn't even know she existed, but wanted to get as much information about what transpired behind his back when he was a teenager as possible.
Listen at the end for the touching moment where Jane took her birth father to a special place.
This is Jane's journey.
Who Am I Really?
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Brad, from McKinney, Texas, just outside of Dallas grew up thinking something was off in his family. But Brad internalized his differences from his parents as his own inability to adapt to their personality traits and abilities.
As an adult DNA testing revealed that something far more foundational to his being was the reason for their differences. The revelation set off a series of forced confrontations, unexpected sibling introductions, and being face to face with an incarcerated man Brad had no intention of bonding with... until he did.
Make sure you to listen until the end to hear how Brad's paternal reunion played out. It is heartwarming for sure.
This is Brad's journey.
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I7u5q8UrFim2sniNJlaA
Today we're going back to Lisa's journey from episode 197 that started this season. When I spoke with her last, she was filled with anxious anticipation for meetings with a paternal cousin, who was also adopted, and then her birth father.
In reunion. Lisa got some answers she had been looking for, but those answers just led to more questions. Thankfully, Lisa has found a diamond in the rough of it all who has been key to completing some of her origin stories, narrative.
This is the rest of Lisa's journey... so far.
Ep 197 - Lisa, Why Such A Secret?
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Dr. Ryan Hanlon, Pres. & CEO of the National Council For Adoption shares a special update about the adult adoptee survey. This is the third in a three part series, Profiles In Adoption.
If you're an adult adoptee in the U.S. please make time to share your adoption experience on the survey. You can find the survey on the NCFA website.
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You're about to meet Louise, from central California. Louise was loved by her adoptive family and while she thought about searching for her birth family, she was never brave enough or in the right place in her life to execute a search. After having her son, reunion found Louise. But the timing wasn't right for her to dive in, even though time was of the essence to meet someone very special in her maternal family.
Louise continues to wait for her birth father to open the door for her to meet him. As she waits Louise podcasts about adoption With her best friend, Sarah.
This is Louise's journey.
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Shelby, who lives near Seattle, Washington, grew up loved in adoption, but also in a home broken apart By domestic abuse. When the existence of her sisters was revealed, Shelby felt an urge to find her birth family, but she pushed it way down for many years.
In reunion, Shelby found her nuclear family still together. She's had to overcome the sorrows of lost time as she and both of her families push forward with love, making the most of the moments they have ahead together.
This is Shelby's journey
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Rachael, who lives in Dover, Delaware, is a transracial adoptee who endured favoritism toward her brother, microaggressions from her adoptive mother, sexual assault and a physical attack. Rachael went behind her parents' back to find her birth mother only to have the relationship cut short.
Later, Rachel found her birth father behind bars, but so glad to finally see his little girl again. Rachel calls herself a "Phoenix" for all that she's endured and the strength she brings to the life she lives today.
This is Rachel's journey.
Who Am I Really?
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Annie, from Auckland, New Zealand is a late discovery adoptee. When she learned that she was adopted the news made her blood run cold. She said her life split into two people: the people pleasing adoptee who wanted to remain in her family and be accepted and the rebellious adoptee who refused to be what others expected.
In reunion, Annie found her birth mother had been waiting years for her to return and a birth father she unexpectedly learned to appreciate, especially juxtaposed against the adoptive father she grew up with.
Annie is an adamant unwavering advocate for adoptee rights.
This is Annie's journey
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Today you're going to meet Joe, from New Jersey. Joe is a pseudonym for the true identity of my guest who wanted to remain anonymous. Joe didn't want for anything in adoption, but he's never been very open speaking about his adoptee status either. He said his reunions are complex because his paternal side has embraced him connecting with them. But his maternal side has placed roadblocks In front of Joe's progress to try to meet his birth mother.
Joe told me he just wants to thank her for the life she gave him.
This is Joe's journey.
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Jillian, from New Jersey, found out she was adopted in her early teen years when she asked a question that lots of kids asked their parents about the time when they were born. What she learned was shocking, but Jillian didn't address her adoption for years until she was over her grief and passed her guilt for wanting to search.
Jillian admits that in her adoption reunion she and her birth mother had a communications breakdown that may have ended their relationship prematurely. However, Jillian wonders if her mother has told her the truth about who her birth father could be because she and her search Angel can't find him.
This is Jillian's journey.
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Danielle, from Kirkland, Washington, has always felt love and loyalty to her adoptive family. So when the doors of reunion were thrown open and information started flying at her, she fell flat on her face.
Danielle lived a reunion experience so many adoptive people have imagined -- her birth mother IS a celebrity. While that sounds exciting, the speed of their reunion left no space for Danielle to process what was happening.
Fortunately her paternal reunion was more easygoing and with some work, Danielle has grounded herself in who she is in both relationships.
This is Danielle's journey.
Danielle's Memoir - Healing Tree
Kate's Memoir - Born With Teeth
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Amy, from outside of Chicago, grew up looking visibly different than her family in a way that didn't meet societal stereotypes for her family's beliefs causing her to have to explain her adoption more than she might've liked.
Curious about her ethnicity and background Amy found links to her birth family through DNA.
In her maternal reunion, Amy found her birth mother's family shares many of her creative traits and they have welcomed her as their daughter and sister.
But her paternal connections only happened once and seems to be blocked by her birth father's spouse, even though the man should be able to empathize with Amy for himself.
This is amy's journey
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Laurie, from Washington state, grew up as an emotional child crying frequently, but no one ever asked what was wrong? They simply wrote her off as being sensitive.
When Laurie's adoptive sister was found by her birth mother, Laurie was shocked at how much they looked alike and it ignited her desire to search.
In reunion, Laurie's birth mother was very open with every question Laurie asked, but she retained a big secret to the one question Laurie never asked.
In her paternal reunion, Laurie encountered mistaken identity, the glow of a honeymoon period and the emotional downturn of the discovery of her birth father's character.
This is Laurie's journey.
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Pippa, from California, Pippa grew up in a wonderful Irish family where she and her brother were supported and loved.
When her brother's birth mother found him, it catalyzed Pippa's desire to return to Ireland to find her birth family.
In reunion Pippa found a birth mother who had suffered a lot of loss in her young life, a birth father whose alcohol consumption made her uncomfortable, and, when it seemed like her journey was over, a huge secret was revealed out of nowhere.
This is Pippa's journey.
Pippa's Memoir: Intertwined
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I think of Pam, from outside of Richmond, Virginia, as a late discovery adoptee who learned she was adopted when another child spilled the tea. Speaking with her adoptive mother about the news she was adopted, Pam learned that she was supposed to be placed temporarily, not adopted into another family.
Pam's reunion journey has multiple twists and turns as she grew up in the town where she was born and her birth family lived. She had awkward reunions in inappropriate places and sibling relationships that started out as one thing, but ending up being something completely different.
Finally Pam found her birth father and a man who calculated that he wasn't the guy but DNA testing revealed the real story. This is Pam's journey.
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Lisa and I connected right before she was going to meet her biological father for the first time and a cousin she's completely enamored with. Lisa shared that she was adopted as an infant into a failing marriage where divorce soon followed. While other people outwardly noticed how different she looked from her brother, she considered him, her brother, no matter what, despite her status as an adoptee.
But after everyone passed away, Lisa felt like she was finally free to pursue connections to her birth family. I would normally share a bit about her reunion here, but we don't know anything yet. So I'll simply say this is Lisa's journey so far...
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Rob called me from right here in Maryland. Trigger warning. Rob shares his harrowing story of his childhood surviving, mental and sexual abuse under the guardianship of his parents. After their deaths Rob went into foster care and became homeless, navigating life with his belongings shuttled from place to place in trash bags. Rob fought hard but struggled to overcome the trauma of his life until he finally visited his mother so he could set himself free.
Rob found love with his husband, Reese, and they've created a family.
He is the founder of Comfort Cases (www.ComfortCases.org) a charity that helps foster children to navigate foster care with dignity.
Rob's Book: A Forever Family: Fostering Change One Family At A Time
This is Rob's journey.
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Brittney, from Connecticut, grew up knowing but not closely connected with her biological mother .
After a bombshell moment where her mom revealed the truth about her paternal parentage, Brittney felt like she was left to clean up the mess of lies.
She was conflicted about searching for her birth father because of her loyalty to her adoptive father. Brittney said she was glad she searched because what she learned filled a hole she didn't even know was in her.
This is Brittney's journey.
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Gabe called me early one morning from Salt Lake City, Utah. Gabe is a black transracial adoptee, and a transgender man from a family and community that didn't know how to talk about who he is as a person.
After a tough time coming out to his adoptive family, Gabe's reunion revealed his birth parents' secret that their children had a full blooded brother they hadn't known about. Now, Gabe finds himself questioning where he belongs as he doesn't feel like he fits in either family.
This is Gabe's Journey.
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Andrie, who lives in Duluth, Georgia, learned she was adopted as a kid, then started coping with the rejection she felt by making up stories about her birth parents, a habit that carried into adulthood.
Searching for her truth, Andrie found her birth father, but has chosen to distance herself from him
When she met her birth mother Andrie found a woman she has a lot in common with and whom she says she absolutely loves.
This is Andrie's journey.
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Daughter Dee lives in Maryland with me. Dee had a wonderful upbringing in Philadelphia, PA where she was cherished and celebrated on her birthdays. When she was fresh out of college Dee's adoptive mother passed away. Dee learned she was adopted and her world turned into a question mark while morning.
As a late discovery adoptee (LDA), she faced secondary rejection, unanswered questions. And misattributed parentage.
This is daughter D's journey
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Samantha, from south Florida, watched her adoptive mother reunite with the son she placed for adoption. Samantha found herself anticipating her own reunion one day, so she decided to take action. When she located her birth mother, she learned the woman was very young when she gave birth, was told to forget about the whole thing and had built walls around herself from the trauma of her youth.
Samantha remains a positive person, even though she feels like she's an outsider looking in on her birth family.
This is Samantha's journey
Who Am I Really?
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Emma described her adoption with words and concepts like "purchased", "captor", and "Stockholm syndrome". Those aren't the ideas behind a healthy parent child relationship
When she decided to find her birth mother, Emma would not be deterred by the redacted information her case worker gave her, so she took action... illegally, to steal her birth mother's name.
In reunion Emma lacked the tools to maintain a relationship with her birth mother, and stood face to face with her birth father who portrayed himself as an innocent bystander, not a biological relative.
This is Emma's journey.
The Gathering Place, An Adoptee Story
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Rebecca, from Tallahassee, Florida, grew up in a religious home where she was over protected and adoption was not discussed or explored. In reunion, She learned her social worker who helped her placement had remained friends with her birth mother and was able to connect them immediately.
Rebecca is the documentarian behind the movie Reckoning With The Primal Wound, a visual exploration of the landmark book, "The Primal Wound" by Nancy Verrier. She's worked on the movie and an audio version of the book. One has gone very well. The other is blocked by a litigious brick wall that Rebecca didn't anticipate and that's triggering adoptee abandonment issues.
This is Rebecca's journey
Reckoning With The Primal Wound
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Carlyn (Kar-leen), from Santa Fe, New Mexico, grew up in a junkyard house in a tough relationship with her adoptive mother. Caryln felt over protected, trapped, and wondering why that was her life. After submitting a DNA test for fun, Carlyn was connected with a biological relative she had never heard of forcing her adoptive sister to finally reveal Carlyn's adoption. The news sent a wrecking ball, sailing through her life. Carlyn's newly found DNA matched biological sister was seeking connection because the woman never really had a family. Soon the pair were told they had no time to waste meeting Carlyn's birth mother. This is Carlyn's journey. Purchase https://www.amazon.com/Junkyard-Girl-Ancestry-Secrets-Chances/dp/0999781227 (Junkyard Girl) Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
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Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8)
Today you're going to meet candidate for Congress Maxwell Frost who called me from Orlando, Florida. Maxwell is a transracial adoptee who grew up loved and supported. When he found himself at a crossroads in his life, the decision to run for public office are not, he realized he wanted to get some answers about his birth mother and his adoption. Speaking with the woman Maxwell learned about the cycle of poverty her community has faced. Hearing her story and her unscripted delivery of one of his life mantras was part of what he needed to validate his run for office. This is Maxwell's journey https://www.frostforcongress.com/ (Maxwell Frost For Congress) Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
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Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8)
This is a special episode of the, Who Am I Really? podcast. My guest today is Pamela Karanova, who first appeared on the show on episode 160, "Stepping Into A Space Of Freedom". She told her story of addiction, thoughts of taking her own life and debilitating depression all in the context of her journey through adoption and reunion. Thankfully, Pam has recovered from much of her life's trauma and finding her way out of the darkness inspired Pam to create some special things. I brought Pam back because she is the empowering adoptee advocate behind two amazing movements - Adoptee Remembrance Day, a global observance of several serious adoptee focused issues and Adoptees Connect a soon to be international movement to get adoptees together in person to support one another. I asked Pam to share about the movements she has started. https://adopteeremembranceday.com/what-is-adoptee-remembrance-day-october-30th/ (Adoptee Remembrance Day ) #AdopteeRemembranceDay #ARD #AdopteesWeRemember Adoptees Connect: https://adopteesconnect.com/ Plant an affiliate: https://adopteesconnect.com/start-an-affiliate/ TED Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/ruth_monnig_adoption_dna_and_the_impact_on_a_concealed_life/transcript?language=en (Adoption, DNA, and the Impact on a Concealed Life) Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
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Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8)
Lynn, from Danville, Virginia knew she was adopted, but she never knew the secret that hers was a kinship adoption... and she had always known her birth mother. So, Lynn didn't have a reunion as much as a re-introduction to her birth mother through the lens of her true relationship to Lynn. Meeting her birth father, things started off great but the honeymoon faded leaving Lynn confused, but open to exploring how to repair things. Lynn spends her extra time advocating for young pregnant women at a clinic where she lives and she hopes adoptive parents will educate themselves about how to navigate adoption. This is Lynn's journey. Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
Listen On Apple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25m (http://apple.co/2oOd25m) Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB (https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB) Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH (http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH) TuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9 (http://tun.in/piyg9) Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher (http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher) Player FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really (https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really) Podbean - https://my.captivate.fm/bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean (bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean) YouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH (http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH)
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Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8)
Donna, from Scottsdale, Arizona, had a condition at birth which meant she was going straight to the hospital before her adoption, insuring her detachment from her birth mother and her future family, until she recovered. When she was a teenager, Donna was cut off by her adoptive father when she got pregnant then placed her own daughter for adoption. In reunion, Donna has found a best friend in her birth mother, a birth father who's too full of himself and unkind to remain in contact with, and her daughter whom she had to wait years for until the time was right for everyone to connect more deeply. This is Donna's journey Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
Listen On Apple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25m (http://apple.co/2oOd25m) Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB (https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB) Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH (http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH) TuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9 (http://tun.in/piyg9) Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher (http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher) Player FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really (https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really) Podbean - https://my.captivate.fm/bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean (bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean) YouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH (http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH)
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Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8)
Heidi, from Silicon Valley, California, grew up walking on eggshells, crying a lot and "staying small" in her world despite being gifted. She found her maternal family guided by a somewhat famous reunion specialist who helped the reunion along. Heidi says reunion can be weird and awkward for how much time has passed while an adoptee tries to get to know their biological relatives in the present. Her reunions are further complicated by the emotions of her birth mother and birth father being the opposite reactions to her return than she expected. This is Heidi's journey Lyrics to Looking For Me (Lyrics) Looking for Me (Heidi Frederick © 2021) My life a blurry canvas, full of pain and sometimes numb No voice, no choice, grasping for joy, yet slipping through my hands So lost without direction, afraid to ask for help full of fear and loneliness, days and nights all by myself Silent struggle of a misfit, just trying to fit in please tell me what to hope for, don’t let me down again Missing peace, missing pieces, yet not a search for them, I’m looking for me, to set me free, know who I truly am Searching for places, strangers faces, no reflection found was looking for them, yet searching for me alone, yet in a crowd If you could only know, my motive is so pure Not looking to replace you, our relationship, secure It’s not them I’m looking for, it’s me I long to know, You chose me then, you choose me now, but I need to heal and grow Can’t imagine, what they went through, so young and so alone knowing she’s a part of you and suddenly she’s gone They told you to move on, you’ll have more kids one day It’s better not to hold her, just turn and walk away Searching for places, strangers faces, no reflection found was looking for you, but searching for me still alone, yet in a crowd Ties that bind, can’t be broken with false promised and empty words After all this is your child, yet, she’s no longer yours She’s spent her whole life wondering, if one day you would meet no bitterness or resentment, not filled with rage or hate With secrets and shame comes darkness, but courage and hope bring light Walls come down, healing is found, not easy, but worth the fight. My life, now a mosaic of brokenness and light To rise and shine for all to see, to pass the torch of life Searching for places, strangers faces, my reflection found In my search for you, I’ve been set free my soul no longer bound. Searching for places, strangers faces, my reflection found In my search for you, I’ve been set free my soul no longer bound. Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
Listen On Apple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25m (http://apple.co/2oOd25m) Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB (https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB) Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH (http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH) TuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9 (http://tun.in/piyg9) Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher (http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher) Player FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really (https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really) Podbean - https://my.captivate.fm/bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean (bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean) YouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH (http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH)
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Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8)
Jack from Phoenix, Arizona, said as a boy, he was kept separate from his sister who was biologically related to his parents. While he was interested in reunion jack was clearly told his desires were unacceptable. He held off from searching for years only to find later that his birth mother was eagerly awaiting his return. On his paternal side, Jack was met with a wall of protection with the exception of one sister. From a distance jack says he's learned more about his paternal family than they probably know about themselves. This is jack's journey Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
Listen On Apple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25m (http://apple.co/2oOd25m) Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB (https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB) Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH (http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH) TuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9 (http://tun.in/piyg9) Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher (http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher) Player FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really (https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really) Podbean - https://my.captivate.fm/bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean (bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean) YouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH (http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH)
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Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8)
David, from San Jose, CA said when he was a kid he knew he was talented and smart but his gifts didn't seem to measure up to his adoptive parents expectations. When David learned he was adopted the news, left him wanting to find his birth mother rebelling and challenged to control his behavior. In reunion, David found his paternal family, but similar elements of dysfunction in their family and drastically differing opinions prevent him from getting any closer. This is David's journey. Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8)
Listen On Apple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25m (http://apple.co/2oOd25m) Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB (https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB) Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH (http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH) TuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9 (http://tun.in/piyg9) Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher (http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher) Player FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really (https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really) Podbean - https://my.captivate.fm/bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean (bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean) YouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH (http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH)
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Before Season 11 begins I wanted to share some personal updates on my journey. --Damon Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
Listen On Apple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25m (http://apple.co/2oOd25m) Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB (https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB) Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH (http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH) TuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9 (http://tun.in/piyg9) Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher (http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher) Player FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really (https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really) Podbean - https://my.captivate.fm/bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean (bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean) YouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH (http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH)
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Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8)
Bryan Elliott, writer, director, producer, grew up in Southern California feeling under prioritized by his adoptive mother. At an early age, he had ambitions of finding his birth family. After extensive research Bryan called a long list of women only to realize she was among those who had repeatedly told him, "sorry, it's not me." when he called. Maternal secondary rejection was solidified with the threat of legal action, but later legal correspondence clarified his birth father's identity in the search for a man Bryan had searched for for decades. It took some coaxing, but Bryan was finally granted full access to his paternal family. This is Bryan's journey https://www.podcastone.com/pd/Living-in-Adoptionland-with-Bryan-Elliott (Living In Adoptionland podcast) Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
Listen On Apple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25m (http://apple.co/2oOd25m) Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB (https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB) Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH (http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH) TuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9 (http://tun.in/piyg9) Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher (http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher) Player FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really (https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really) Podbean - https://my.captivate.fm/bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean (bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean) YouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH (http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH)
Social Media Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/ (https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/) Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/ (https://www.instagram.com/waireally/)
Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8)
Lisa, my guest from episode 168, "A Vein of Gratitude" is back to share how her reunion has been in the year since we spoke. Lisa and I chatted the night before Lisa met her birth mother for the first time. The COVID-19 pandemic had kept them apart, so the moment was imminent that they would finally meet. The reunion went well, even though some discussion topics were closed for exploration. Afterwards, Lisa struggled with her birth mother's expressions of love and the woman's intense desire to connect Lisa to her half-brother. Lisa had an array of reunion, emotions and experiences in the year, since we first spoke. Now it's time for an update on Lisa's journey. Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
Listen On Apple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25m (http://apple.co/2oOd25m) Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB (https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB) Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH (http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH) TuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9 (http://tun.in/piyg9) Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher (http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher) Player FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really (https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really) Podbean - https://my.captivate.fm/bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean (bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean) YouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH (http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH)
Social Media Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/ (https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/) Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/ (https://www.instagram.com/waireally/)
Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8)
Mike, from SoCo, Maine was cruising through childhood until he was told he was adopted. The news shook Mike's confidence in relationships and the aftermath lingered in self doubt, creeping through his personal and professional life. When he found his maternal family, Mike was welcomed in as his sister lamented that they missed so much time apart. Now Mike serves as Chairman of the Board of the National Council for Adoption (NCFA). He coaches others on bringing their best selves to every relationship through a process of building personal trust communities. This is Mike's journey Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
Listen On Apple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25m (http://apple.co/2oOd25m) Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB (https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB) Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH (http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH) TuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9 (http://tun.in/piyg9) Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher (http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher) Player FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really (https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really) Podbean - https://my.captivate.fm/bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean (bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean) YouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH (http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH)
Social Media Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/ (https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/) Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/ (https://www.instagram.com/waireally/)
Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8)
Singer/song writer Jenni Alpert, aka Cami, my guest from episode 96, is back to share an update on her life with her birth father, Don. Recall Jenni took on her birth nickname Cami and went under cover in the streets of Los Angeles to locate Don who was hiding from the law, using drugs, and living outside. Using the tools in her belt that she'd accumulated throughout her life, Jenni became Don's advocate and introduced him to alternatives to life in the streets. When she revealed she was a musician, a creative partnership blossomed and they began performing together at non-profit homeless advocacy events, adoption and fostering events, and touring around the country. Don is no longer with us, but Jenni is honoring her birth father by making her life's purpose to uplift others. This is an update on Jenni's journey. Go back and listen to: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/096-the-safe-space-thats-dons-place/id1223841587?i=1000447685072 (Episode 096 - The Safe Place That's Don's Place) Music with Don: Until Then https://youtu.be/1Uxa0H1FHe4 (https://youtu.be/1Uxa0H1FHe4) Documentary: Homeless the Soundtrack (Apple TV, Google Play, YouTube TV)
https://youtu.be/kvWZ1inuvN8 (https://youtu.be/kvWZ1inuvN8) Book: Home is Where the Heart is, An Adoption and Biological Reunion Story: A Memoir
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0578938138/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_7QTQV9NJCANHWD15M3YS (https://www.amazon.com/dp/0578938138/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_7QTQV9NJCANHWD15M3YS) Aftermath since Don's passing: https://youtu.be/xGVhaK1nRtk (https://youtu.be/xGVhaK1nRtk) Cami and Don music and speaking YouTube: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_cdP6dotlBs23P1dR3eL9r3gqMUDu-oy (https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_cdP6dotlBs23P1dR3eL9r3gqMUDu-oy) Jenni Alpert Music https://youtube.com/user/JenniAlpert (https://youtube.com/user/JenniAlpert) Website: http://www.jennialpert.com/ (www.jennialpert.com) Don’s Take: (montage of my birth father Don’s perspective in the form of speeches and candid conversations, his take on Homelessness, Adoption, and Biological Reunions, & our performances at shelters, rescue missions, adoption related programs, nightclubs and events) https://youtu.be/BW9Q-VI9z7A (https://youtu.be/BW9Q-VI9z7A) SoundCloud sound bytes recordings of Cami and Don candid conversations, challenging stigmas https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/tW15pMZB41biWNx79 (https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/tW15pMZB41biWNx79)
Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
Listen On Apple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25m (http://apple.co/2oOd25m) Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB (https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB) Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH (http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH) TuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9 (http://tun.in/piyg9) Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher (http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher) Player FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really (https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really) Podbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean YouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH (http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH)
Social Media Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/ (https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/) Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/ (https://www.instagram.com/waireally/)
Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8)
Singer Song writer Jenni Alpert, commonly referred to by her birth name, Cami had a wonderful life supported by her adoptive parents as she pursued the performing arts. After her adoptive father passed away, she learned that her biological mother had too. Her maternal connections went well over time, but her paternal side remained a mystery. Locating her birth father was one thing… doing reconnaissance, ensuring her safety, and tapping into over a decade of her various volunteer experiences with people who’s lives were in the streets was something different. In their story you’ll hear the dedication of a daughter who found her birth father down and out, accepted him as he was , and worked hard to find a pathway for them to reunite and share their love of music. This is Jenni’s journey. Photo:Cami (aka Jenni Alpert) and her birth father Don Photo credit: Jeff Fasano Here’s a link to the news story I referenced: https://www.nbcnews.com/nightly-news/video/father-and-daughter-duo-reunited-in-song-62059077604 Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
Listen On Apple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25m (http://apple.co/2oOd25m) Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB (https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB) Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH (http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH) TuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9 (http://tun.in/piyg9) Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher (http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher) Player FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really (https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really) Podbean - https://my.captivate.fm/bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean (bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean) YouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH (http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH)
Social Media Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/ (https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/) Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/ (https://www.instagram.com/waireally/)
Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8)
Alyssa, from Jacksonville, Florida, is a biracial woman who was adopted into a white family in a white community. Living without racial mirrors. She realized in her youth, she was missing a connection to the black community. With identifying information, Alyssa was able to locate her biological parents quickly, but Alyssa is eternally grateful that her maternal aunt was the cherished person she connected with first. Alyssa's relationships with her biological parents are strained for now, but she holds out hope that her birth mother will come to understand how she feels, appreciate that she's doing the work to maintain her own happiness, and that they can reconnect one day. This is Alyssa's journey. Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
Listen On Apple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25m (http://apple.co/2oOd25m) Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB (https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB) Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH (http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH) TuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9 (http://tun.in/piyg9) Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher (http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher) Player FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really (https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really) Podbean - https://my.captivate.fm/bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean (bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean) YouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH (http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH)
Social Media Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/ (https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/) Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/ (https://www.instagram.com/waireally/)
Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8)
Shannon, from Hazel Green, Alabama, stood out from her adoptive family in looks and some personality traits. So there was a natural curiosity about her birth family. She assumed she'd be able to locate them, her whole story would be laid out with clear facts about her conception, and everything would make sense. Instead, Shannon found a birth mother who had very little recollection of that time in her life, she was given misleading information, and she spent many years in a reunion with the wrong guy. This is Shannon's journey. Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
Listen On Apple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25m (http://apple.co/2oOd25m) Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB (https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB) Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH (http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH) TuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9 (http://tun.in/piyg9) Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher (http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher) Player FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really (https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really) Podbean - https://my.captivate.fm/bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean (bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean) YouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH (http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH)
Social Media Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/ (https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/) Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/ (https://www.instagram.com/waireally/)
Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8)
Kristen, from Minnesota, was a multi-sport athlete in high school, even competing while pregnant with her daughter. She tells the story of giving birth, placing her daughter, then needing years to get her life back on track. In one incredible year, Kristen learned that her birth parents were looking for her, her daughter wanted to find her and that reunion can bring closure and healing while revealing unbelievable coincidences. Kristen talks about some of the right decisions she made in her life and some of the missteps that she wishes she would have done differently as a parent. This is Kristen's journey. Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
Listen On Apple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25m (http://apple.co/2oOd25m) Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB (https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB) Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH (http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH) TuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9 (http://tun.in/piyg9) Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher (http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher) Player FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really (https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really) Podbean - https://my.captivate.fm/bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean (bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean) YouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH (http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH)
Social Media Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/ (https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/) Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/ (https://www.instagram.com/waireally/)
Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8)
Larry, from Grand Rapids, Michigan, talks about his life as a transracial adoptee in a predominantly white community where many white parents adopted black children. In a desperate search for role models he latched on to some undesirable stereotypes of what a black man should be including stories he heard about his birth father. After a near death experience in the streets, Larry located his birth mother who eventually wrote the letter he needed to read to release the pressure he was under. This is Larry's journey "https://www.amazon.com/White-Confused-Black-Christian-Autobiography/dp/1096363186/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&coliid=I2JJFGK1U5TRL7&colid=2OFTHNWSIEPL8&qid=&sr= (White, Confused, Black and Christian)", by Larry Yff https://larryyff.com/ (LarryYff.com) Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
Listen On Apple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25m (http://apple.co/2oOd25m) Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB (https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB) Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH (http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH) TuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9 (http://tun.in/piyg9) Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher (http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher) Player FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really (https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really) Podbean - https://my.captivate.fm/bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean (bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean) YouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH (http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH)
Social Media Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/ (https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/) Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/ (https://www.instagram.com/waireally/)
Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8)
Julie, from Humboldt County, California, had a wonderful reunion with her birth mother and has learned how a woman operates, which has helped Julie managed some of her own feelings in their reunion. But when Julie's birth mother admitted she'd had a one night stand, Julie thought she'd never find her birth father. DNA testing helped her figure out that her birth father was one of two brothers and one of them was so much like her. He had to be the guy. But was he. When the truth was discovered, Julie was left to maintain the family secret. This is Julie's journey. Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
Listen On Apple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25m (http://apple.co/2oOd25m) Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB (https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB) Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH (http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH) TuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9 (http://tun.in/piyg9) Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher (http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher) Player FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really (https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really) Podbean - https://my.captivate.fm/bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean (bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean) YouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH (http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH)
Social Media Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/ (https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/) Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/ (https://www.instagram.com/waireally/)
Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8)
After years of struggling to get along with her adoptive mother, who struggled as a World War II survivor, Danielle finally figured out the reasons for their differences. She's a late discovery adoptee, but hers was less of a discovery, more of a revelation that overcame her in the middle of the night. She found her birth mother who wondered why it took so long for them to finally connect. Then the magic died and their reunion was over. Later Danielle did a DNA test connecting to a distant paternal relative, and it was just in time to meet her birth father. This is Danielle's journey. Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
Listen On Apple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25m (http://apple.co/2oOd25m) Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB (https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB) Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH (http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH) TuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9 (http://tun.in/piyg9) Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher (http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher) Player FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really (https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really) Podbean - https://my.captivate.fm/bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean (bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean) YouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH (http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH)
Social Media Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/ (https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/) Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/ (https://www.instagram.com/waireally/)
Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8)
Jonathan's admits adoption was always part of his story and he was never made to feel special or different. But after his adopted sister sought out her biological family for medical information, Jonathan decided it was time for his search to begin to. What he found was such a great likeness to his paternal side, that it worked against him in meeting his biological mother who might not have been mentally strong enough to see the face of the young man she used to know appearing again on her adult, biological son. This is Jonathan's journey. Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
Listen On Apple Podcasts - http://apple.co/2oOd25m (http://apple.co/2oOd25m) Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB (https://spoti.fi/2RN3jcB) Google Play - http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH (http://bit.ly/2oEU7bH) TuneIn - http://tun.in/piyg9 (http://tun.in/piyg9) Stitcher - http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher (http://bit.ly/2DsqBxk_Stitcher) Player FM - https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really (https://player.fm/series/who-am-i-really) Podbean - bit.ly/2I0ITeY_Podbean YouTube - http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH (http://bit.ly/2oF3yrH)
Social Media Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/ (https://www.facebook.com/WAIReally/) Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waireally/ (https://www.instagram.com/waireally/)
Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8)
Mike who called me from Berlin, Germany was born in St. Louis, Missouri. It's a place he ultimately fought hard to try to get away from because of its association with his adoptive family. After years traveling the country, then moving abroad to Germany Mike found himself in reunion with his birth mother back in St. Louis. Mike says that out of everyone, he looks the most like the one person he really wanted to find. And that these days he's turning some challenging experiences in his life into positivity for others. This is mike's journey Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/)
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Rebecca called me from outside of Richmond, Virginia. She has lived a life in adoption from the formation of her family, with her adoption to becoming a birth mother, dedicating her professional life to adoption and experiencing reunion with her birth mother birth father and her son. Her reunions have been a mix of denial and near rejection to full acceptance after years of anticipation and surprise to be found by the parents of her own child. You're going to be amazed to hear how much adoption can be woven throughout one adoptee's life. This is Rebecca's journey Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
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When Lisa and I chatted, she was in a hotel in South Dakota, but she normally resides in Tennessee. She was in town for the momentous occasion of reuniting with her birth mother the next day. We agreed to chat ahead of time because Lisa knew she would be a different person after reunion. Lisa led a quiet life, surrounded by family she loved and felt deeply connected to. Her adoption was never kept a secret from her and played a constant theme in her life. Guided by gratitude and the question, "where do I come from?" Lisa's journey started with a DNA test, which opened the doors to help her answer that nagging question. Lisa mapped out generations of her family tree, discovered she was a secret to some in her family and a sequestered fact to others. The path of Lisa's reunion still has a winding road ahead so, this is Lisa's journey so far... (part 2 of Lisa's journey will be ep. 181 - Wandering Tree) Who Am I Really? Who Am I Really? Website - http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/ (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/) Share Your Story - http://bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share (bit.ly/2imgrtv_Share)
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Damon's own story in print and audio: Damon's story "Who Am I Really? An Adoptee Memoir” - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8)
Today my guest is Micheleana who lives outside of Kansas city in Lawrence, Kansas. Micheleana's early life was tumultuous after her parents divorced. Her adoptive mother passed away suddenly, and she was abandoned by her adoptive family. Incredibly her birth father walked right into her life twice and she didn't even recognize him. Unfortunately, she got an unexpectedly awkward introduction to her birth mother that may have set the stage of continued uneasiness between them when it comes to really getting to know one another. This is Micheleana's journey
Today you're going to meet Michael who called me from Atlanta, Georgia. Michael grew up with adoptive parents who were functional alcoholics which meant they had a dysfunctional home with a narcissistic mother and a detached father. When DNA testing linked Michael with his maternal family he learned that his siblings knew about him but his birth mother was kept in the dark that her secret had been revealed. In reunion, Michael's eyes were opened to the meaning of nature versus nurture when he found shared physical traits and common interests in athletics, music and more. Now Michael helps run an Adoptees Connect group in Atlanta for adopted people to link up and support one another. This is Michael's journey.
Elisa lives outside of Philadelphia. She shares her story of the DNA test. She completed to learn more about her heritage that surprisingly linked her to her birth mother. The woman was lifelong friends with Elisa's birth father's family, but the man never knew that Elisa existed until her birth mother helped connect them at her own home. Elisa's birth mother has met her adoptive parents which filled an unrecognized void in her parents' lives this is Elisa's journey
Simon from the United Kingdom, knew he was adopted from as early as he can remember. When he finally decided to search for his birth mother, he had a flash of anger about the toy. The woman left him. But when he learned of her situation and heard another birth mother's perspective, that his anger was likely misguided, he quickly changed course to empathizing with his birth mother. Listen to Simon's efforts to support other adoptees and his desire to change prevailing narratives in adoption. This is simon's journey
Debbie lives outside of Portland, Oregon. Her parents adopted her and her brother too soon after tragedy struck their family. Debbie found her roots in Kansas, in a small town where the grape vine unexpectedly spread news fast that she was in town. Uh, sad loss. Oddly gave Debbie a chance to connect more deeply with her birth mother. But her birth father only told half of his family about Debbie creating a minefield of secrets in this era of consumer DNA testing. This is Debbie's journey
Cindy lives outside of Sacramento, California. She and her sister were placed in foster care where they learned to protect themselves and be tough. Cindy's search started with an abundance of identifiable information thanks to her adoptive parents. In reunion, she found a man she truly resembled, was bonded to, but who was forced to cut their relationship again until his final days. Cindy found the pieces that were missing in her personal puzzle and healing that she, and many other people involved in her adoption reunion, really needed. This is Cindy's journey. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07PV31DFN/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i1 (Once In A Lullaby: My Journey Home) https://www.livinglightoasis.com/ (https://www.livinglightoasis.com/)
Kevin, from upstate New York, shares his journey to find his worthiness, to beat in this life. His search for his birth mother led him to the one woman who knew he existed and the unexpected sibling set that has fortified his own fight to carry on. Kevin continues his search for his paternal connections. All with his angel Roz on his shoulder. Loving him as she loved her own birth children. This is Kevin's journey. Check out Kevin's book: "Dear Stephen Michael's Mother" https://www.kevinbarhydt.com/ (https://www.kevinbarhydt.com)
Erika called me from outside of Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Ericka and her older adopted brother were doing fine with their adoptive parents until the birth of their siblings created an unspoken split between the children. In reunion, Erika's mother was an open book about her experiences as one of the girls who went away, while her adoptive mother was closed to the fact that Erika was actually related to her birth mother, subscribing to the blank slate mentality of the baby scope era. Connecting with her birth father she found a man who always knew about her but didn't realize that he missed her until Erika returned. This is Erika's journey.
Today's adoptee story is Winnie's. She called me from Los Angeles, California. Growing up, Winnie's adoptive parents were closed to discussing her adoption, rejected her basic desire to socialize and left her to fend for herself in the name of creating an independent woman. But her treatment was unfairly different from that of her adopted sister. When he has an arduous road ahead seeking reunion with her birth mother in India in the face of information inaccuracies. And in the wake of massive COVID 19 casualties. Winnie is the creator of Indian Adoptees Connect, a community for Indian adopted people like herself. This is Winnie's journey
Pam called me from Lexington, Kentucky. Growing up in adoption she suffered in the care of her adoptive mother who was unable to be a to parent her children because she was barely holding on herself. In reunion Pam found two alcoholics and when she looked in the mirror she saw someone who needed to change her trajectory before she followed in their footsteps. Pam has done a lot of empathizing to heal herself, and focused her energy on creating Adoptees Connect to help other adopted people find support like what she needed in her darkest days. She also founded https://adopteeremembranceday.com/ (Adoptee Remembrance Day), October 30th, #adopteeremembranceday. It's a time to recognize Adoptee Suicide, Adoptee Abuse & Neglect, and Adoptee Loss. This is Pam's journey.
Ed called me from here in Maryland. He shared the sad, circumstances of his adoptive parents losing two children, but not really healing from the losses, feeling loyalty to his adoptive parents. Ed went on a clandestine search for his birth mother, found her then lost touch for years. All of which exacerbated his anxiety within him. Fortunately Ed reunited with his maternal and paternal sides and connected to his personal history in some unique ways. This is Ed's journey.
Jennifer, from Standardsville, Virginia, said growing up in New York, she had a very different childhood experience in her family than her sister, who was biological to their parents. Their mother suffered with substance abuse and deep down the woman probably knew she wasn't as good a mother to Jennifer as she could've been. In reunion Jennifer realized that secrets of the past were hard to overcome because they were ladened with stigma from her birth mother's pregnancy experience. Her paternal reunion was a surreal phone experience that you have to hear Jennifer tell to believe. Thankfully her aunt and younger sister made up for the shocking phone conversation she had with her birth father. This is jennifer's journey.
Honor described a childhood in isolation, so much so that it impacted her health when she started school. Wondering about her biological parents, she developed a romantic story in her mind that they were in love but simply couldn’t keep her. It took her many years to track down her real story which was far more complex, and at one point she thought that one of her worst fears was true. When she found her birth mother, they only had a passing anonymous introduction to one another and when they met again years later, the woman was unable to recognize who Honor was. When Honor tracked down her birth father, his actions indicated he was the right guy, even if he didn’t explicitly say so. Read Full TranscriptHonor: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/RoG91wfh3o-gEOEA1fC0ylca2hcg1crOOVLxAbyJ4O5gdoILr26QGgCC9CUFWxsOCYCjP-WafAKupT5LMjDH1No5zzg?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=5.58 (00:05) Then he said, “oh, and there’s something else”, and I said, “what.? And he said, “she claims that she was raped”, so I was in bits. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/RoG91wfh3o-gEOEA1fC0ylca2hcg1crOOVLxAbyJ4O5gdoILr26QGgCC9CUFWxsOCYCjP-WafAKupT5LMjDH1No5zzg?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=14.53 (00:14) Really.? Honor: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/RoG91wfh3o-gEOEA1fC0ylca2hcg1crOOVLxAbyJ4O5gdoILr26QGgCC9CUFWxsOCYCjP-WafAKupT5LMjDH1No5zzg?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=15.2 (00:15) I remember going into the garden alone and wondering about and I wanted to cry but couldn’t. I was just crucified inside because that for me, was the worst scenario that I could hear. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/RoG91wfh3o-gEOEA1fC0ylca2hcg1crOOVLxAbyJ4O5gdoILr26QGgCC9CUFWxsOCYCjP-WafAKupT5LMjDH1No5zzg?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.99 (00:35) Who am I? Who am I? Who Am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/RoG91wfh3o-gEOEA1fC0ylca2hcg1crOOVLxAbyJ4O5gdoILr26QGgCC9CUFWxsOCYCjP-WafAKupT5LMjDH1No5zzg?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.25 (00:47) This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Honor. She called me from outside of Edinburgh. Scotland. Honor described a childhood in isolation, so much so that it impacted her health when she started school. It took her many years to track down her real story and at one point she thought that one of her worst fears was true when she found her birth mother. They only had a passing anonymous introduction to one another, and when they met again years later, the woman was unable to recognize who Honor was when Honor tracked down her birth father. His actions indicated he was the right guy even if he didn’t explicitly say so. This is Honors journey. Honor was born in good shepherd, mother and baby home in bishop ton
As an interracial adoptee and musical artist, Ferera grew up feeling different from her adopted family. When her adoption was tearfully confirmed by her Mom, it created doubt within her about whether it was okay to be different? Ferera met her birth mother, and the woman’s twin sister, so their reunion was a shared experience that somewhat fractured the intimate connection Ferera would have liked to have developed. She’s in touch with her birth father, but they’ve never met b/c he lives in the Philipines. Stream Ferera’s song “Second Time” via: https://zoho.email-view.com/click.zt?linkDgs=312b824b113a3k16863ad1e85&mailDgs=312b824b113a2&ver=a78101656d9c1ed0bd939597d2d6a7c7b3700e87442b9ff704fac491dfbf0679 (Soundcloud) | https://open.spotify.com/album/4gjk5nJo8Zy84JqpVO8Pvv (Spotify) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nQEmTCGCi0 (Watch Acoustic Version on YouTube) Connect With Ferera: https://zoho.email-view.com/click.zt?linkDgs=312b824b113a6k16863ad1e85&mailDgs=312b824b113a2&ver=a78101656d9c1ed0bd939597d2d6a7c7b3700e87442b9ff704fac491dfbf0679 (Website) |https://zoho.email-view.com/click.zt?linkDgs=312b824b113a7k16863ad1e85&mailDgs=312b824b113a2&ver=a78101656d9c1ed0bd939597d2d6a7c7b3700e87442b9ff704fac491dfbf0679 (Facebook) | https://zoho.email-view.com/click.zt?linkDgs=312b824b113a8k16863ad1e85&mailDgs=312b824b113a2&ver=a78101656d9c1ed0bd939597d2d6a7c7b3700e87442b9ff704fac491dfbf0679 (Twitter) | https://zoho.email-view.com/click.zt?linkDgs=312b824b113a9k16863ad1e85&mailDgs=312b824b113a2&ver=a78101656d9c1ed0bd939597d2d6a7c7b3700e87442b9ff704fac491dfbf0679 (Instagram)| https://zoho.email-view.com/click.zt?linkDgs=312b824b113aak16863ad1e85&mailDgs=312b824b113a2&ver=a78101656d9c1ed0bd939597d2d6a7c7b3700e87442b9ff704fac491dfbf0679 (YouTube) |https://zoho.email-view.com/click.zt?linkDgs=312b824b113abk16863ad1e85&mailDgs=312b824b113a2&ver=a78101656d9c1ed0bd939597d2d6a7c7b3700e87442b9ff704fac491dfbf0679 (Soundcloud) Read Full TranscriptFerera: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ulkJUPa-_BGHbMy68evN783kLYdHE9rPwWCp9QT5d_9lNvSeoI_xn_B-eM8PLnmyUGTKScTCKbaVXWHEq6i4_4otsKc?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1.2 (00:01) She said that I was making it all about me and I do believe that she was saying that out of her own pain. For an adoptee. It’s like, well, I didn’t choose this. I didn’t ever choose to be adopted. I didn’t choose for me to be in this position and so I wanted to work it out. I really did and so when I reached out to her and tried to talk about it, I suggested let’s get on the phone because emails are just, things can get misconstrued, but I never did hear back from her again. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ulkJUPa-_BGHbMy68evN783kLYdHE9rPwWCp9QT5d_9lNvSeoI_xn_B-eM8PLnmyUGTKScTCKbaVXWHEq6i4_4otsKc?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=34.75 (00:34) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? New Speaker: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ulkJUPa-_BGHbMy68evN783kLYdHE9rPwWCp9QT5d_9lNvSeoI_xn_B-eM8PLnmyUGTKScTCKbaVXWHEq6i4_4otsKc?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.16 (00:47) This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Ferera. She...
Adoptees have the ultimate voice about the adoption experience. Adoptee podcasters are offering fellow adoptees outlets for sharing their inner thoughts and deepest emotions about their adoption journeys -- the happy and sad, incredible experiences and the awful outcomes. On Wednesday, November 4, 2020 @ 7pm ET the hosts of some of the leading adoptee hosted podcasts: "Adoptees On" with Haley Radke, "Born In June Raised In April" with April Dinwoodie and "Who Am I Really?" with Damon Davis shared some of their insights from several years and hundreds of episodes podcasting about adoption. This was an open event for everyone to attend, ask questions, and hopefully leave with useful insights. * At 1:20:32 April and Haley very graciously supported the group through a Zoom bomb (a rude interruption in our online forum by uninvited participants). Just wanted to explain the odd transition in the content at that moment.
Rachel is a Hispanic woman of Chilean descent, raised in a Jewish family. She shared her feelings of otherness trying to connect with other Spanish speaking children with her limited proficiency. Rachel describes her father’s blindness to her heritage, and her unbelievable luck to have strangers who went out of their way to help her meet her birth mother in Chile. Read Full TranscriptRachel: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/LBME0dE3afIEFIvJbItV31CTCnBlpS9lfkPL0gSyX-ak8eeoNBBhRsAyiwLQc1j7H4s3T-_oGOd0jNzRdTMrpNJj5B4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3.76 (00:03) It took me a while to sort through it. I remember talking to my grandmother about it and she said, you know, Rachel, it’s not about how you get here, It’s about what you do with yourself once you’re here. So she was like focused less on that event that led to you being here and focus more on what you want to do with yourself and how you want to, you know, make a name for yourself. And that is something that I’ve always held onto Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/LBME0dE3afIEFIvJbItV31CTCnBlpS9lfkPL0gSyX-ak8eeoNBBhRsAyiwLQc1j7H4s3T-_oGOd0jNzRdTMrpNJj5B4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.72 (00:35) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/LBME0dE3afIEFIvJbItV31CTCnBlpS9lfkPL0gSyX-ak8eeoNBBhRsAyiwLQc1j7H4s3T-_oGOd0jNzRdTMrpNJj5B4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.21 (00:47) This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Rachel. She called me from right here in Frederick, Maryland. Rachel is a Hispanic woman of Chilean descent, raised in a Jewish family. She shared her feelings of otherness, her father’s blindness to her heritage and her unbelievable luck to have strangers who went out of their way to help her meet her birth mother in Chile. This is Rachel’s journey. In Rachel’s family, adoption was a fairly open topic. Her brother was adopted three years before her and they always knew they were adopted from young ages. When they got older, they understood a little bit more what that meant. Rachel: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/LBME0dE3afIEFIvJbItV31CTCnBlpS9lfkPL0gSyX-ak8eeoNBBhRsAyiwLQc1j7H4s3T-_oGOd0jNzRdTMrpNJj5B4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=97.12 (01:37) I feel like I was my only like person in my group of friends that was adopted growing up. And I think that kind of felt a little bit strange sometimes. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/LBME0dE3afIEFIvJbItV31CTCnBlpS9lfkPL0gSyX-ak8eeoNBBhRsAyiwLQc1j7H4s3T-_oGOd0jNzRdTMrpNJj5B4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=108.1 (01:48) Do you remember mentioning it to other people or did you just, you just couldn’t see other adoptees so you figured you were the only one?...
After two years in foster care, Janet was adopted into the foster family. An interracial woman, she grew up in a white midwestern community in Ohio. Janet recalls the love she felt from her family and the isolation of being one of two people of color in her town. Through the International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR.net) she connected with her birth mother who had been waiting for her to register for years. In reunion, Janet forged a tight bond with her birth mother and maternal brother. On her birth father’s side, she finally met & bonded with her brother, the first person of African American descent she ever met that she is related to. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/041-ive-finally-gotten-sense-peace/ (041 – I’ve Finally Gotten Myself To A Sense Of Peace) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast).
Michelle says growing up she felt very different from her adoptive family because she looked completely different from them. When she was a teen she embarked on a voyage to reunite with her birth mother, traveling back to the UK where she was born. Seeking some of the basic answers to her identity and acceptance by her biological mother, her trip was going great, until the neighbor came over and asked who Michelle was. What happened next became a pivotal moment in Michelle’s quest to discover herself. But the acceptance and love that Michelle was looking for were still out there and they came from a person that she didn’t even know existed. She located her half brother in Spain, and was able to he relay the final emotions of their dying father, bringing some peace to Michelle. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/020-dont-silence-julie-anymore/ (020 – I Don’t Silence Julie Anymore) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Michelle (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/UBg0WpOv0O2LEyMUCI-bJX26RZSx1b7pqn1aAO5qsBNguHSrS7f9zmooi2FBkfnRVNdL8tLhg6-c8PDuNETVFh71474?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=3.41 (00:03)): And climbed back as a teen. I just remembered, I don't know how to do this, but I know that these people aren't the ones to give me my truth and I'm either gonna find it myself or I'm gonna die not knowing, and I wasn't willing to live a life not knowing. Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/UBg0WpOv0O2LEyMUCI-bJX26RZSx1b7pqn1aAO5qsBNguHSrS7f9zmooi2FBkfnRVNdL8tLhg6-c8PDuNETVFh71474?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=25.72 (00:25)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/UBg0WpOv0O2LEyMUCI-bJX26RZSx1b7pqn1aAO5qsBNguHSrS7f9zmooi2FBkfnRVNdL8tLhg6-c8PDuNETVFh71474?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=37.11 (00:37)): This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis, and today you're going to meet Michelle. She told me she grew up feeling very different from her adoptive family because she looked completely different from them. Michelle reunited with her birth mother as a teenager traveling back to the United Kingdom where she was born. She was seeking some basic answers to her identity and acceptance by her biological mother. Things were going great for them until the neighbor came over and asked who Michelle was. It became a pivotal moment in Michelle's quest to discover herself. But the acceptance and love that Michelle was looking for was still out there and it came from a person that she didn't even know existed. I asked Michelle about her journey and what adoption was like for her growing up. Michelle starts us off with the events that brought her into this world. Her parents weren't able to keep her. So Michelle was placed in foster care and it was there even in those early days where people placed judgment about her existence. Michelle (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/UBg0WpOv0O2LEyMUCI-bJX26RZSx1b7pqn1aAO5qsBNguHSrS7f9zmooi2FBkfnRVNdL8tLhg6-c8PDuNETVFh71474?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=99.63 (01:39)): Well, I was born in England. I go back to that because it's really part of the whole journey of identity for me. Uh, I was born in England. Mother was British, father was Spanish. Um, I was a product of their affair. My mother at the time was married. She had three children and my father was single, a bachelor. They had an affair. I was the product of that and it was quite a scandal actually at the time. And I was secreted away into foster care. My birth father said he didn't want to be a father, didn't want to raise me. Birth mother had a choice to make, you know, she couldn't keep me. And she looked to keep her family intact with her husband and her three children. In foster care in the U K I was labeled because of the circumstances around me. You know, it was labeled in my foster records, illegitimate dark,...
Kim is a Korean born adoptee raised in an all-white community. She shared how she always pushed down her desire to search for her birth mother until the recent political climate brought out the true colors of her adoptive mother. I’ve heard stories of Asian adoptees having trouble making connections overseas, but Kim’s connection was quick and easy. But building a relationship through a translator, secrecy, and secondary rejection have left Kim with a broken heart. Read Full Transcript Kim: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/wrwZIhSOdfssd9tgMoEoh1n9pvG9Z0DPwVv8msAPsvbj7qkSPHRG14B_hutTbadhe1JPrqU4X0Y7wGiWnzDW0cQSlds?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=6.24 (00:06) And we look very, very much like really? That was very emotional for me because growing up in a place where there weren’t a lot of other Asian people, I had no idea what I was going to look like when I grew up and now to see some existing in the world, he looks nearly exactly like me is wild. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/wrwZIhSOdfssd9tgMoEoh1n9pvG9Z0DPwVv8msAPsvbj7qkSPHRG14B_hutTbadhe1JPrqU4X0Y7wGiWnzDW0cQSlds?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.89 (00:35) Who am I? Am I am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? New Speaker: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/wrwZIhSOdfssd9tgMoEoh1n9pvG9Z0DPwVv8msAPsvbj7qkSPHRG14B_hutTbadhe1JPrqU4X0Y7wGiWnzDW0cQSlds?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.21 (00:47) This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Kim. She called me from right here in silver spring, Maryland. Kim is a Korean born adoptee, raised in an all white community. She shared how she always pushed down her desire to search for her birth mother until the recent political climate brought out the true colors of her adoptive mother. I’ve heard stories of Asian adoptees having trouble making connections overseas, but Kim’s connection was quick and easy. But building a relationship through a translator, secrecy and secondary rejection have left Kim with a broken heart. This is Kim’s journey. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/wrwZIhSOdfssd9tgMoEoh1n9pvG9Z0DPwVv8msAPsvbj7qkSPHRG14B_hutTbadhe1JPrqU4X0Y7wGiWnzDW0cQSlds?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=96.53 (01:36) Kim was adopted from South Korea when she was five months old. Kim: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/wrwZIhSOdfssd9tgMoEoh1n9pvG9Z0DPwVv8msAPsvbj7qkSPHRG14B_hutTbadhe1JPrqU4X0Y7wGiWnzDW0cQSlds?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=100.27 (01:40) I came on a plane to New York City with a military personnel who is carrying me. And so that day, um, my family celebrates as an airplane day I think and that I commentator his Gotcha day and so really celebrate that as like when I joined the family are like our family became complete....
Meredith had enough adoptees around her growing up that adoption was no big deal. Yet, her parents never felt comfortable actually discussing adoption. After getting pregnant, and spurred on by her mother-in-law’s intuition that Meredith wanted answers, she started searching. When her social worker found her biological parents, they were married with children. Her reunion has filled her with mixed emotions because she’s thankful for the life she’s led but’s she’s seen the family photos for the life that could have been. The post 053 – Seeing The Life That Could Have Been appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast. Meredith (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/TEnupnvC1ae7EsW7lFBEtwAGtoCg40swyNOPeaXYDJebeTHk4c1XMVnJCSDgxAWDc6oqFAluoK9aXFNnHtNRtpYi368?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=3.17 (00:03)): In the beginning. I, I didn't set boundaries for myself, for the relationship with them, for, I didn't give myself time to feel anything. I think I was, you know, adoptees are people pleasers and that's what I was being. And I was so concerned about what everyone else was feeling. And I don't, I didn't recognize what I was going through. And I think maybe that's why I struggle a little bit more now with my emotions. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/TEnupnvC1ae7EsW7lFBEtwAGtoCg40swyNOPeaXYDJebeTHk4c1XMVnJCSDgxAWDc6oqFAluoK9aXFNnHtNRtpYi368?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=35.84 (00:35)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Meredith. She called me from Northern Virginia, but her story takes place up North in a small town in Massachusetts. There, she felt loved and adoption was no big deal growing up because there were adoptees around her and life was good. Her reunion happened quickly, but it was transformative for her when she learned her biological parents were together and her adopted parents felt betrayed. This is Meredith's journey. Meredith grew up in a quaint little town in Western Massachusetts. She said she doesn't remember even being told, but she always knew she was adopted. She also had an older sister, also adopted, but unrelated to herself, coincidentally Meredith's childhood best friend who lived right across the street was also an adoptee. So Meredith (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/TEnupnvC1ae7EsW7lFBEtwAGtoCg40swyNOPeaXYDJebeTHk4c1XMVnJCSDgxAWDc6oqFAluoK9aXFNnHtNRtpYi368?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=109.34 (01:49)): It just felt very normal to me. And then actually the day that I was adopted, I was adopted a month after I was born. Uh, we celebrate that as my special day. And, um, my mom always would make cupcakes for the class at school. Um, so it was kind of like a second birthday for me. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/TEnupnvC1ae7EsW7lFBEtwAGtoCg40swyNOPeaXYDJebeTHk4c1XMVnJCSDgxAWDc6oqFAluoK9aXFNnHtNRtpYi368?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=130.7 (02:10)): That is so cool Meredith (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/TEnupnvC1ae7EsW7lFBEtwAGtoCg40swyNOPeaXYDJebeTHk4c1XMVnJCSDgxAWDc6oqFAluoK9aXFNnHtNRtpYi368?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=130.7 (02:10)): Yeah. And we still, you know, she'll send me a special day card every year, which I still get. So yeah, it's always just been something that made me feel unique. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/TEnupnvC1ae7EsW7lFBEtwAGtoCg40swyNOPeaXYDJebeTHk4c1XMVnJCSDgxAWDc6oqFAluoK9aXFNnHtNRtpYi368?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=141.02 (02:21)): Both sisters got birthday and special day celebrations and the girls were made to feel cherished and loved Meredith said she always had questions about adoption, but when she was younger, sometimes she would get a little pushback from her mother when she broached the topic. So she usually didn't Meredith...
Dana received her original birth certificate and when her husband looked up her birth mother’s name they found her obituary. It took her two years to find an address for her surviving aunt and a year to find the courage to write to her. Her Aunt gave Dana a name for the man who could be her birth father, but he was also deceased. Luckily DNA testing told a different story. Read Full TranscriptDana: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/mSXMuvWojTzzYOJT-TPNFk15BWn7MbA_pBILR7SZEkpkfSML6KBhD4MVgqsXpRzZ26_U7g5hYPK4g4n8gh_zUaUut0g?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3.64 (00:03) She never knew about me. She thought that she was an only child for her her entire life. So finding out that she has an older sister that came as kind of like shocks or she. So she just told me she knows she needs, she needs time sheets, she needs space and I get that. You know, it’s like, I can’t imagine going thinking that you’re an only child for like most… for your entire life. Minifying boom. You have an older sister. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/mSXMuvWojTzzYOJT-TPNFk15BWn7MbA_pBILR7SZEkpkfSML6KBhD4MVgqsXpRzZ26_U7g5hYPK4g4n8gh_zUaUut0g?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.97 (00:35) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/mSXMuvWojTzzYOJT-TPNFk15BWn7MbA_pBILR7SZEkpkfSML6KBhD4MVgqsXpRzZ26_U7g5hYPK4g4n8gh_zUaUut0g?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.23 (00:47) This is, who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Dana. She called me from Ohio A state we know has opened adoption records. Dana shares her story of growing up with two younger siblings, biological to her parents, but feeling equally loved by her parents. She tells the heartbreaking story of learning that she would never meet her biological mother and the near miss of a second heartbreak with her suspected biological father. Luckily, Dana was able to recover from some misinformation to learn her father’s identity. This is Dana’s journey. Dana grew up in the suburbs of Cleveland, Ohio. Originally, her mother didn’t think she could have children, but after Dana’s adoption, their family did expand naturally. Dana: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/mSXMuvWojTzzYOJT-TPNFk15BWn7MbA_pBILR7SZEkpkfSML6KBhD4MVgqsXpRzZ26_U7g5hYPK4g4n8gh_zUaUut0g?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=103.2 (01:43) My adoptive, I’m like, um, a series of miscarriages and she was told that she, she would never have a child see a child of her own to full term. So she put it in an application through the Catholic charities and they called her like on her birthday and they told her that we have this little girl here, she’s French and Serbian, we know that your husband is, would you like to come look at her? Or my parents were like, really excited. They go, of course. Yeah, we weren’t gonna come take a look at her. So they went in to the orphanage. Um, I think it was a saint John’s Children’s home in Cleveland, Ohio. And they, they took...
Renee searched for her mother literally her whole life. But her search predated the internet so she frequented the library and scoured local high school year books. with hopes of finding someone she felt she was related to. When she located her biological mother she refused to share any information about Renee’s biological father and forbade Renee for searching for her biological brother. The more you tell a person not to do something, the more they want to do that very thing and Renee swore to definitely search for her brother. Ultimately DNA testing unraveled the mystery. She takes a lot of comfort in knowing that her father was a pretty cool guy and someone she would’ve admired. Even after a tumultuous childhood, and severed ties to her biological mother, Renée said she has no regrets about searching for her biological family and she would do it again. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/017-renee-m/ (017 – He Is My Brother And I Will Find Him) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Renee (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/Ylv_mHxQRPLcsrOCRGuDsC7Lmzmma0dLbPf00Lit8BrmFLWK4A1ANjiiUoS5xnwPteK5zmCUWQff_NeTwdyVXiDzECw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3.3 (00:03)): I started running away from home when I was four and when they would find me, I would have my little suitcase, my little flower power suitcase, and they would say, where are you going? And I would say, I'm going to go sign my mother. So I started searching for my mother before I even knew what it meant. Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/Ylv_mHxQRPLcsrOCRGuDsC7Lmzmma0dLbPf00Lit8BrmFLWK4A1ANjiiUoS5xnwPteK5zmCUWQff_NeTwdyVXiDzECw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=27.52 (00:27)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/Ylv_mHxQRPLcsrOCRGuDsC7Lmzmma0dLbPf00Lit8BrmFLWK4A1ANjiiUoS5xnwPteK5zmCUWQff_NeTwdyVXiDzECw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=38.94 (00:38)): This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/Ylv_mHxQRPLcsrOCRGuDsC7Lmzmma0dLbPf00Lit8BrmFLWK4A1ANjiiUoS5xnwPteK5zmCUWQff_NeTwdyVXiDzECw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=53.56 (00:53)): Hey, it's Damon and my guest on the show today is Renee. She was born in the 60s where her adoptive mother felt there were high expectations for what a family should look like and for her to be a mother. Renee shared that her upbringing wasn't a warm family environment at all. In her house, all of the caregiving things that parents do for their children, she had to do for herself. She was abused by her father and that abusive behavior was passed down to their biological son. When Renee had reached her limit, she ran away from home to start a new life and to try to find her biological family. Renee's journey begins in Houston, Texas. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/Ylv_mHxQRPLcsrOCRGuDsC7Lmzmma0dLbPf00Lit8BrmFLWK4A1ANjiiUoS5xnwPteK5zmCUWQff_NeTwdyVXiDzECw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=97.85 (01:37)): She says her mother felt pressure to make her family meet societal norms, but she wasn't a very good mother at all. And her adoptive father was abusive. Her childhood had no love, no friends. And the children basically raised themselves. Renee (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/Ylv_mHxQRPLcsrOCRGuDsC7Lmzmma0dLbPf00Lit8BrmFLWK4A1ANjiiUoS5xnwPteK5zmCUWQff_NeTwdyVXiDzECw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=111.86 (01:51)): My adoptive parents tried to have a child of their own for about 10 years and they weren't able to so they adopted my older brother who's not related. And then three years later adopted me because you have to have the boy and the girl and the boy has to be older and girl, you know, um, my adoptive mother was extremely rigid and rule bound and she, I don't think she actually wanted to be a mother, but society dictated that she had to be. So that was in order to appear...
Jennifer learned that she was adopted when she was six years old. Interestingly, her adopted parents shared a letter with her that was written by her biological mother whose instructions were that Jennifer should have it when they felt she was ready. In fact, her parents had an entire package of detailed information about her adoption which satisfied some her curiosities and sparked new ones that she wanted answers to. Thanks to some clever sleuthing her biological mother was very easy to locate. Jennifer’s adopted father had calculated who her mother likely was and pinpointed where she probably lived based on some of the information they already had. But what began as a warm introduction turned cold when Jennifer was forced to repeatedly ask her biological mother for identifying information about her biological father. When she finally learned who he was, and traced his family to their home in Florida, she learned that her deepest connection on this journey was with the father she never knew. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/013-jennifer-b/ (013 – It Wasn’t That He Didn’t Care, He Cared Too Much) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Jen (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ReffC6RcBtGv254ahi9sdEM5eYGCn85PlzerF2PPDn9uYaueHQ9n11Zh_MZcizW9mYRntqMNuPpdDycvRjIWKcWqsm8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1.98 (00:01)): Basically every question that I had ever had was, you know like did they want me? Do they care about me? There was no doubt that I had been lied to and my entire world suddenly flipped because my mother who had told me that that they didn't want me, they wanted nothing to do with me and all this other kind of stuff was now a lie. Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ReffC6RcBtGv254ahi9sdEM5eYGCn85PlzerF2PPDn9uYaueHQ9n11Zh_MZcizW9mYRntqMNuPpdDycvRjIWKcWqsm8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=27.78 (00:27)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ReffC6RcBtGv254ahi9sdEM5eYGCn85PlzerF2PPDn9uYaueHQ9n11Zh_MZcizW9mYRntqMNuPpdDycvRjIWKcWqsm8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=39.05 (00:39)): This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon and today I spoke with Jen. She's a Marylander just like me and in her journey she learned that her biological family lived just one County away from her growing up. She's a rare case for adoptees because she was given a really comprehensive package of information about her adoption, including a letter written to her from her birth mother. Her biological mother was very easy to find and connect with thanks to her adoptive father's ability to calculate and pinpoint some of Jen's family based on the information they already had. But what began as a warm introduction turned cold when Jen persistently asked her biological mother for identifying information about her biological father. Here's Jen's journey. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ReffC6RcBtGv254ahi9sdEM5eYGCn85PlzerF2PPDn9uYaueHQ9n11Zh_MZcizW9mYRntqMNuPpdDycvRjIWKcWqsm8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=101.24 (01:41)): Jennifer says she had a pretty typical middleclass upbringing, three kids and a dog. And the topic of adoption was always open for discussion at their house. Jen (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ReffC6RcBtGv254ahi9sdEM5eYGCn85PlzerF2PPDn9uYaueHQ9n11Zh_MZcizW9mYRntqMNuPpdDycvRjIWKcWqsm8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=109.66 (01:49)): I was adopted at two months old and was the first in the adoptive parents family. They had tried for 10 years to have a child and just couldn't. So they went through Catholic charities and you know, ended up with me and when I was about 22 months old, they adopted two twin boys. So there was none of that conflict of biological mixed with adoption or anything like that. It was just strictly all adoption. So I had younger twin brothers, which was definitely an experience in
Adoptees have the ultimate voice about the adoption experience. Adoptee podcasters are offering fellow adoptees outlets for sharing their inner thoughts and deepest emotions about their adoption journeys -- the happy and sad, incredible experiences and the awful outcomes. On Wednesday, November 4, 2020 @ 7pm ET the hosts of some of the leading adoptee hosted podcasts: "Adoptees On" with Haley Radke, "Born In June Raised In April" with April Dinwoodie and "Who Am I Really?" with Damon Davis shared some of their insights from several years and hundreds of episodes podcasting about adoption. This was an open event for everyone to attend, ask questions, and hopefully leave with useful insights.
Yvonne called me from here in Washington, DC. She is a birth mother in reunion with her son after more than 40 years apart. She shares the loneliness of her pregnancy, her desire to keep her baby versus her inability to do so, the moment she came face to face with her son's adoptive mother and her search to find the man he grew up to be. Yvonne is launching a new podcast, "Birth Moms Real Talk" (https://www.birthmomsrealtalk.com (www.birthmomsrealtalk.com)) where other women like herself can share their stories openly in a safe place. But before we get to her podcast this is Yvonne's journey.
Sari, a self-proclaimed nomad, called me from New Mexico. When she was a girl the school science project on heredity ignited her desire to learn her truth. After decades of searching for her birth parents, she found her birth father first, or so she thought. When Sari confronted her birth mother about the man, she was stonewalled and lied to. Sari learned that her birth mother wasn't the woman she'd hoped she would be to her either. Ultimately, Sari decided she'd keep the relationship with her "birth father", because for the first time as an adoptee the choice was up to her who she got to call family. This is Sari's
Roderick chatted with me from Ocala, Florida but he was born and raised in Indianapolis, Indiana. Roderick was adopted into a family where he was the middle child, but he would become the parent to his younger siblings, forgoing his own high school graduation to care for his neglected brother and sister. Focusing on their wellbeing he sacrificed his own advancement. In reunion, Roderick found siblings he had never thought of before. Then, experienced secondary rejection from an aunt in Indiana. That rejection came after Roderick found a full blood sibling in Florida and decided to move there to be closer to her. This is roderick's journey.
Dirk, from Phoenix, Arizona, was raised as a Hispanic person and his documentation said he was Hispanic, but the world saw him differently. And DNA did too. Dirk found his birth mother, but at two separate times, he was forced to reckon with secondary rejection. Fortunately, he found his birth father acceptance from all, but one of his siblings and the warm feeling inside from knowing He looks the most like their father out of all of his children. This is dirk's journey
Joe is from Assonet, Massachusetts, just south of Boston. He shares his pride for being an adopted person, the challenge to make his way through his physical limitations as a kid, and the demons he removed from his life before attempting reunion. Facing secondary rejection. He had to overcome the anger and hurt to even attempt the next reunion decades later. When he did, Joe learned that his siblings in different families were friends, his father's had friends in common and that everything in his life was connected in ways he hadn't realized. This is Joe's journey.
November is National Adoption Awareness Month (#NAAM), a time to bring awareness to all of the issues that adoption brings to adoptees, families formed through adoption, and natural families of adoptees. However one underrepresented voice in the adoption constellation is that of the male adoptee. On the “Who Am I Really?” podcast only 30% of the adoptee guests have been men. While adoptees have the ultimate voice about the adoption experience, very few men have stepped forward to share their adoption journey. For #NAAM 2020 I gathered three of my male adoptee podcast guests online to share their inner thoughts and deepest emotions about their adoption journeys. Andre McCallum (ep 001), Tom Andriola, (ep 012), and Adrian Jones (ep 132) joined me to share their stories of adoption, reunion, and the roller coaster of emotions they lived along the way. Andre, Ep 001 - The End of Summer Cake - http://bit.ly/2S8ZpLp_001 Tom, Ep 012 - I Need This For My Sanity - https://bit.ly/3nLJrIh_012 Adrian, Ep 132 - Nearly Dying Is One Of The Best Things That Ever Happened - https://bit.ly/31GDq6m_132 *Who Am I Really - An Adoptee Memoir, by Damon Davis - https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8
Ben, from Fannystelle, Manitoba Canada, had an extremely rough start in his first home with his biological family. He was abused at the hand of his step dad, so he was removed by child and family services for his safety. Bensen, or Ben was nursed back to health in foster care, and placed in a new family at seven years old. He admits he was an angry teen, taking on negativity in his life to cope. But as an adult he's done the hard work to make positive change for himself despite living with triggers on his body that remind him of what he's endured. Ben speaks of breaking the cycle of abuse when raising his own daughter, thanking his foster family for their loving care, and encouraging other adoptees (especially men) to tell their story over and over to try to reduce the pain we sometimes feel. This is Bensen's journey.
Lisa Marie chatted with me via Skype from Lake Garda in the North of Italy. In her journey you'll hear the impact of a transracial adoptee who grew up in a homogenous world that didn't look like herself, and the serendipitous meeting that allowed Lisa to free herself from part of her past. Even though she lived a world away, technology allowed her to find her birth mother and spend the entire day online with her and her birth family. In front of an intimate audience in Colorado, Lisa got the once in a lifetime opportunity to sing to one special woman sitting in the front row of her show. This is Lisa's journey.
Michelle, from Ohio. She talks about the challenge of her childhood, craving a connection, but having the one she shared with her Dad snuffed out. Her search, which began with Adoption Network Cleveland where she found an ally in a birth mother in the group. Along the way Michelle felt the shame of her simple request to have access to her own records, and was met with secondary rejection. Luckily, Michelle has found the one person she now shares an undeniable bond with -- the one she's always needed. She said that adoption shaped her, her lack of attachment to her biological family forever changed her to her core. But she's moving forward with all the joys in the family she built and with the family she's found. This is Michelle's journey...
Comedian television and film actor, and all around entertainer. Tommy Davidson has seen it all. He launched his comedy career in the Washington DC area. Capitalizing on his innate ability to entertain people and make them bust out in laughter. But his earliest days were grounded in trauma that as an adoptee, he didn't face until he was an adult and was at risk of losing everything. Tommy graciously took time to chat with me about his life and his career as documented in his book, living in color. What's funny about me. From being found as an infant, clinging to life, to his show, business success on one of my favorite sketch comedy television shows, living color . Tommy has put in the work to face the trauma of his adoption, overcome addiction and rebuild his life. This is Tommy's journey.
Brandi, who called me from myrtle Beach, South Carolina, is an inquisitive person adopted in to a family with a history of scholars, which is rare for a black family in the south. DNA led Brandi to a cousin who was determined to help her figure out their biological connection and which of two men were her birth father. Coincidentally Brandi studied the music of a uniquely east coast southern diaspora of African people, only to learn she was studying the music of her own roots. This is Brandi's journey.
When Susan, from Irving, Texas, found her natural mother, she learned she was conceived in transit when two young lives collided, then never saw one another again. Her birth mother's life seemed too chaotic the women to make a deeper connection. The woman ended things abruptly when Susan didn't behave the way she wanted. Susans's paternal connection, while a complete surprise, was filled with joy and acceptance for a father who needed to fill a void, and a daughter who craved the same. This is Susan's journey.
David, and his birth mother Margaret's story of adoption relinquishment, lives lived apart but close to one another, and their brief emotional reunion is told in the book, "American Baby", written by New York Times Best Selling Author, Gabrielle Glaser. Gabrielle first met David while he was on kidney dialysis awaiting a transplant where he shared that he hoped he would find his birth mother one day. In reunion, David learned that he had always been loved, and his birth parents never forgot about him. Gabrielle share's David's journey.
Gloria called me from Texas where she grew up with Mexican parents. In younger days she tried to find the ways she looked like her family. In adulthood, following the whim of some co-workers, Gloria did a DNA test naive to what it could possibly reveal. In a matter of months she was plunged into the deep end as a late discovery adoptee. She began drinking to cope, accidentally pushed away her paternal sister, but managed to hang onto her relationship with her biological mother. This is Gloria's journey.
Darryl, from Australia, admits he had a challenging childhood from his relationship with his adoptive father, to their family's need to move around a lot because they were so poor, and his experience learning he is a late discovery adoptee. Darryl describes himself as a person for whom the truth is very important, so as an adult he discharged his adoption setting his personal record straight. This is Darryl's journey.
Wendy, from Minnesota, had a lot of information about her natural mother and assumed the woman would want to know her, but that wasn't the case. They corresponded once, solely for her natural mother to share clinical information, then the door closed. Wendy said finding her paternal sister Jen, a woman she could have met years earlier at church, has been a redemptive blessing that's brought Wendy peace. This is Wendy's journey.
Marilyn called me from Southeast Tennessee. When she met her natural mother, she finally learned the story of what the woman had been through as the pieces of 50 years of history returned to her memory. Maryilyn admits she didn't have a huge void to fill in seeking reunion but that being in reunion has opened up closeness with her natural mother that some of her closest friends have waited years to achieve. Listen at the end for the cute story of how her son met his grandmother for the first time right at his own school, you're gonna love it. This is Marilyn's journey.
Nicole was adopted into a military family, the structure of which ran against her freewheeling nature. She’s an interracial woman with interracial adopted parents, so they looked like a natural family. In reunion, Nicole is facing secondary rejection from her birth mother, but her maternal grandparents and uncle have accepted her with open arms. She’s learned that her birth father wanted to keep her, and her paternal family feels so natural, Nicole feels like she’s found her tribe. Read Full TranscriptNicole: 00:05 I feel like I’ve found my tribe. These are, these are the people that like I fit. I feel like I’ve found peace within myself because it’s not who am I really? It’s it’s I am me and I’m who I’m always supposed to have been. It was just put in a different family. Voices: 00:30 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: 00:42 This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Nicole. She called me from the terrible rush hour traffic in downtown Atlanta, Georgia. She was raised in the south, but her mixed racial heritage partially originates from Germany by way of the Commonwealth of Virginia, a state we’re in adoptees. Legal rights to obtain their original birth information are extremely prohibitive in reunion. She’s exercising patience with her birth mother as she waits to be revealed to her maternal siblings, but she’s also surrounded by love and acceptance by other family members on both sides. This is Nicole’s journey. Damon: 01:30 Nicole was born in Virginia, adopted after three months in foster care. She is a woman of mixed race and she was adopted into a mixed race family. Her mother is white from Germany, her father is African American from Boston, and she grew up in a military family. Nicole: 01:46 You know, growing up it was, it was pretty normal. Adoption was like, you know, I was a typical day, you know, in the fog adoptee. That makes me special. And it was one of those things where, I mean, it was it really necessary to talk about, you know, it was, I’m adopted and that’s what it is. And you know, here’s our family. Damon: 02:09 Did you have siblings? Nicole: 02:10 No, I’m an only child. So my parents actually adopted me when they were both in their late thirties. Um,...
Stephanie grew up in a very wealthy family in South Carolina and you’ll hear discuss the family’s fortune, but pause before you pass judgment on how easy life must have been. Her story is filled with manipulative behavior, malicious intentions, and a foundation created from lies. You’ll also hear Stephanie’s intelligence and tenacity to get her through the tough times as she learned the truth about her adopted family’s feelings towards her, the story of how she arrived in her aunt’s care, and the tough road to connect with her sister. Read Full TranscriptDamon: 00:04 I’m going to say at the time I really didn’t want to meet her. My life was pretty torn up as it was, but the reason I said yes is I thought, what if this is the only chance I have? What if? What if this is it? There’s no more chances. Voices: 00:24 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: 00:36 This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Stephanie. She called me from Charleston, South Carolina. Stephanie grew up in a very wealthy family and you’ll hear her talk about the family’s fortune, the pause before you pass judgement on how easy life must have been. Her story is filled with manipulative behavior, malicious intentions, and a foundation created from lies. But you’ll also hear Stephanie’s intelligence and tenacity to get through the tough times as she learned the truth about her adopted families, feelings towards her, the story of how she arrived in her aunt’s care and the tough road to connect with her sister. This is Stephanie’s journey. Stephanie was born in upstate South Carolina in her adopted family. She was the oldest child and all of her siblings, except for her half brother are adopted. Adoption was part of their lives with adoption children’s books around that were red from time to time, but it wasn’t an open topic of discussion. In fact, quite the opposite. Stephanie: 01:48 My parents did not like talking about my adoption and it wasn’t that they ever told me you’re not allowed to ask any questions, but when I would start speaking about it, the only way I’ve known to describe it is it is like this thunderstorm suddenly came over my mother’s head and just the entire mood just changed. And I knew I was treading on thin ice. I was told the same kind of background stories as a kid. I was told by my aunt, my father’s sister, that um The way I came into the family is she had a friend who worked for social services and she went by one day to have lunch with her and there was this little child, this toddler sitting in a chair. And, um, she just said she thought I was so beautiful and her friends that I just have to finish up here before we go. I’m trying to find a home for this child, a temporary home. And um, my aunt said that she just immediately said, oh, well I’ll take her home with me. And that’s how I ended up with her....
Serena told me she had a similar experience to what a lot of adoptees feel, even though she grew up with her birth mother. I’m always talking about empathizing with others, so I wanted to hear her story. Serena told me about her birth on a Native American reservation in Arizona then her mother moving away. She was adopted by her father when he married her mother, but Serena never knew her biological father. When her paternal family called to say her birth father was ill, she was too stunned to act quickly, so she only met his relatives at his chaotic funeral. Take a moment to listen to the parallels between what I’ll call Serena’s “adoption adjacent” experience and those of other adoptees. Read Full TranscriptSerena: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/HRAiDFqI20tet-RS7zClkGhoHkl-4jdVNqytGeleMaouVu7H7kuVbL8ctnYP8nQNMiBGMxb-HNN3Qn29eFOcsyntxd0?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2.73 (00:02) I don’t think I recognized the severity of his sickness. I didn’t… At that age, you still think you’re invincible and I had never had anyone that was even close to me die. So to have, you know, these people who are part of my paternal family, but I’ve never, I’ve never known call me and sort of dropped this sort of bomb. I think I just kind of froze. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/HRAiDFqI20tet-RS7zClkGhoHkl-4jdVNqytGeleMaouVu7H7kuVbL8ctnYP8nQNMiBGMxb-HNN3Qn29eFOcsyntxd0?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.91 (00:35) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I in mind? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/HRAiDFqI20tet-RS7zClkGhoHkl-4jdVNqytGeleMaouVu7H7kuVbL8ctnYP8nQNMiBGMxb-HNN3Qn29eFOcsyntxd0?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.2 (00:47) This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Serena. She called me from Virginia shortly after I met her at the Maryland Pod-casters Association meetup. She told me she had a similar experience to what a lot of adoptees feel, even though she grew up with her birth mother. I’m always thinking about empathizing with others. So I wanted to hear her story. Serena told me about her birth on a native American reservation in Arizona. Then her mother moving away, she was adopted by her father when he married her mother, but Serena never knew her biological father. When her paternal family call to say her birth father was ill, she was too stunned to act quickly, so she only met his relatives at a chaotic funeral. Take a moment to listen to the parallels between what I’ll call Serena’s adoption adjacent experience and those of other adoptees. This is Serena’s as journey. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/HRAiDFqI20tet-RS7zClkGhoHkl-4jdVNqytGeleMaouVu7H7kuVbL8ctnYP8nQNMiBGMxb-HNN3Qn29eFOcsyntxd0?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=109.97 (01:49) Serena was born on the Navajo reservation in Fort Defiance, Arizona, but her mother was only 18 at the time living with a friend because her own mother and grandmother had moved...
Recalling her early family life, Ann said she felt like her parents were sucked into feeling like they had to have a family, and while they were focused on creating a better world in their professional lives, that didn’t necessarily translate to their home life. She always had the feeling her parents cared more about appearances than about who their children were in their uniqueness. Ann sought out her birth mother, but found her maternal grandmother instead. The woman’s receptivity to Ann’s return seemed to be a good sign but ended with secondary rejection. There has only been one cousin who has accepted Ann into her life, and that’s because she’s distanced herself from the family too. Read Full TranscriptAnn: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/sYi3sdNcQ6mcMWNb_tADeTQkKwQ0qGcbxveIDqw9VHBdwlXr8R9aOaqbchZyv7u2SuXaA7qmCRNiyCXRgL1zFHabw4k?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=4.4 (00:04) If that was her, if that was your upbringing, and then all of a sudden union happens in Georgetown poor thing. she gets shuttled off to a home for unwed mother that I’ve also researched and it just looks almost slave like, so yeah, I have a whole lot more empathy and compassion and I really feel for the fact that she had such a societal burden to bear, Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/sYi3sdNcQ6mcMWNb_tADeTQkKwQ0qGcbxveIDqw9VHBdwlXr8R9aOaqbchZyv7u2SuXaA7qmCRNiyCXRgL1zFHabw4k?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.92 (00:35) who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I in mind? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/sYi3sdNcQ6mcMWNb_tADeTQkKwQ0qGcbxveIDqw9VHBdwlXr8R9aOaqbchZyv7u2SuXaA7qmCRNiyCXRgL1zFHabw4k?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.21 (00:47) This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on Today’s show is Ann she lives in West Virginia. Recalling her early family life. She said she felt like her parents were sucked into feeling like they had to have a family and while they were focused on creating a better world in their professional lives that didn’t necessarily translate into their home life. Ann sought out her birth mother, but found her maternal grandmother instead. The woman’s receptivity to Ann’s return seem to be a good sign, but ended with secondary rejection. There has only been one cousin who has accepted Ann into her life and that’s because she’s distanced herself from the family too. This is Ann’s journey Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/sYi3sdNcQ6mcMWNb_tADeTQkKwQ0qGcbxveIDqw9VHBdwlXr8R9aOaqbchZyv7u2SuXaA7qmCRNiyCXRgL1zFHabw4k?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=99.461 (01:39) Ann said she learned she was adopted when she was four years old. Her friend Jenny was at her house when Ann’s mother decided to tell her that she was adopted, but Jenny was not. Ann’s mom neglected to clearly explain that Ann was not born from her own womb, so Ann thought that her mother was saying the reverse was true. She thought Jenny was not born from her mother’s womb. Ann and her sister, also an adoptee who is a
James called me from right up the road in Laurel, Maryland and we have one degree of separation with one of my adoptive father, Willie’s, friends. In his story you’ll hear his struggle to find himself and an identity as a youth in a family that didn’t look like him. It took him years to find his voice after a bitter divorce left him and his adopted siblings abused. Thankfully James’s wife, an excellent investigator found his birth parents and helped initiate meaningful reunions that allowed James to express forgiveness and find belonging. Jame's book, "The Miracle" is available here: https://amzn.to/3kMYSxV (https://amzn.to/3kMYSxV) The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/097-you-gotta-forgive/ (097 – You Gotta Forgive) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast).
Born in the Panama Canal Zone, Stephanie was adopted by a US military family stationed there in 1961. She was never told she was adopted, but she always knew there was a family secret. When she was 43 years old Stephanie discovered the secret was her own adoption. Because she was born in the Panama Canal Zone, her adoption records were available through a Freedom of information Act request (FOIA). Unfortunately, that didn’t lead to a reunion with her biological mother. After 13 years, she has never heard from her biological mother. Fortunately, she reunited with her birth father and his entire family has warmly welcomed her. Stephanie says “For the first time I know how it feels to look into the eyes of those whom I share a connection with. That cannot be described with words.” The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/029-a-lifetime-of-interveners/ (029 – A Lifetime of Interveners Saw Me Through) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Stephanie (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/3TonYp7tsDp8RGKhgkzdYhHra2ndEYZHpbO6ouQKDibA8Zwu38gMoOVt0AefrXcab0fXpZq6Hf7leG-FMnugyYJOVEY?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=4.87 (00:04)): Cause you know, I never really looked at it that way before to say, wait, nobody uses the same pen to write something over a six year period. And it's like, and then all of a sudden, you know, it's like I've now I've just got to go. I'm thinking to myself my whole life fundamentally has been a lie. Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/3TonYp7tsDp8RGKhgkzdYhHra2ndEYZHpbO6ouQKDibA8Zwu38gMoOVt0AefrXcab0fXpZq6Hf7leG-FMnugyYJOVEY?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=30.61 (00:30)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/3TonYp7tsDp8RGKhgkzdYhHra2ndEYZHpbO6ouQKDibA8Zwu38gMoOVt0AefrXcab0fXpZq6Hf7leG-FMnugyYJOVEY?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=41.87 (00:41)): This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Stephanie. She was never told she was adopted, but she says she always knew there was a family secret. In her early forties she discovered the secret was herself and the woman who raised her was not her mother. While she felt vindicated that she had been correct, the news turned her world upside down as she looked in the rear view mirror to see a trail of deception right down to the notes in her baby book. Her reunion with her birth mother didn't go as she had hoped. Fortunately, things were very different in the reunion with her birth father, Stephanie shares, how she located her birth father's roommate in the military and how he was one of the many supportive interveners throughout her life. Here's Stephanie's journey. Stephanie (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/3TonYp7tsDp8RGKhgkzdYhHra2ndEYZHpbO6ouQKDibA8Zwu38gMoOVt0AefrXcab0fXpZq6Hf7leG-FMnugyYJOVEY?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=94.7 (01:34)): I always had this feeling that I, something wasn't right. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/3TonYp7tsDp8RGKhgkzdYhHra2ndEYZHpbO6ouQKDibA8Zwu38gMoOVt0AefrXcab0fXpZq6Hf7leG-FMnugyYJOVEY?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=100.43 (01:40)): That's Stephanie. Before I even had a chance to ask her a question about her journey, she was already going deep on one of the interesting parts. So I just listened. Stephanie (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/3TonYp7tsDp8RGKhgkzdYhHra2ndEYZHpbO6ouQKDibA8Zwu38gMoOVt0AefrXcab0fXpZq6Hf7leG-FMnugyYJOVEY?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=109.71 (01:49)): You know, like there was some sort of secret in my family, something wasn't right and I kept coming back to I don't fit here, you know, and I have friends that I've had for 40 years and they always say, have you taught, you been talking about this adoption thing for ever. So the way that this happened is, um, we had family here for Christmas in 2003, um, a toothbrush was left in the house and it was a room that my adoptive...
Listen, I can’t even pretend it was easy to podcast during what has been an absolutely crazy year. Before I sign off season 7 I need to cover a few things. I’m grateful to be able to say thank you to some wonder folks who’ve committed to supporting the Who Am I Really podcast this year. I have to say I’ve been inspired to hear from some of you who are thinking of launching podcasts of your own. If it’s in your heart to support The Gift of Adoption Fund please visit http://giftofadoption.org/ (giftofadoption.org)
I gotta say I’m excited for season 8 of the Who Am I Really podcast, but it's time for a break. I’ll see you in 2021. Stay safe, and spread some love…
Sara, from Seattle, Washington, was an over achiever adoptee who was secretly struggling and going off the rails. She intentionally avoided babies until her sister gave birth.. and having kids of her own drove home just how precious babies are. Sara feared reunion would literally kill her adoptive mother. But in reunion she finally heard from her biological mother that they looked just a like, a comment she had waited to hear her whole life.This is Sara’s journey.
To date, I’ve only interviewed a few guests who weren't adoptees, and this will be another one. Today you're going to meet Anne-Marie from Southern California who drafted an impassioned submission to be on the Who Am I Really podcast. At first I wanted to stay true to the focus of the show, sharing adoptee voices. But I quickly realized there is no place, that I know of, for natural mothers to tell their stories and Anne-Marie was trusting me with hers. When she got pregnant in her teen years, she placed her daughter for adoption despite every fiber of her being wanting to keep her baby. When she turned 18 years old, Anne-Marie’s daughter Alex found her and they reunited. When Alex went to college she slipped out of her studies and into rehab where Anne-Marie was part of her and many other rehabbing adoptees recoveries. In the end Anne-Marie lost Alex twice, feels lucky to have known her at all, and wants every adoptee to know that we are loved. This is Anne-Marie’s journey.
Isaac, from Hawaii, talks about himself as a boy who was loved, but struggled to connect with his adoptive parents in certain ways. Having left the island, a chance musical gig put him back on Hawaiian soil and in position to launch his adoption reunion search. In reunion he reconnected with both of his parents at the same time, elected to move back to Hawaii to reconnect with the land and his people, and even found that learning more about the island made him closer to his adoptive family too. This is Isaac’s journey.
Liz, from Michigan, grew up in a neighborhood full of adoptees, so it wasn’t until years later in the Dominican Republic teaching a class with a lot of adoptees in it that her own adoption sunk in. After finding her natural mother through an intermediary they reunited during a sleepover in a hotel room where they stayed up all night. Their bond solidified when Liz’s daughter was born bringing them closer as they marveled at the next generation of their family before them. After more than a decade in reunion, Liz played an emotional farewell to her mother on her viola to say goodbye. This is Liz’s journey.
In this episode Cheryl, the mother and our adoptee, is joined by her natural daughter Diahan from Washington state and South Florida respectively. Cheryl had an idyllic life growing up an athletic tomboy outside of Seattle. When her daughters started having children she got concerned about the missing medical information she was unable to transfer down the family tree. Fortunately there was no one better suited to usher Cheryl through her genealogy journey than Diahan, an early professional in the industry. In reunion Cheryl has found welcoming siblings and a gigantic family that filled a hole she didn’t know was there. This is Cheryl’s journey.
Adrian, who lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, has lived around the country and in different parts of the world, only to find himself right back in the town where everything started for him. An avid mountain biker, he nearly lost it all when the widow maker tried to tear him down. Adrian fought through recovery, vowed to love his family like he never had before, and follow the advice of the voice in his ear telling him to find his birth family. This is Adrian’s journey.
Elissa, from Hilton Head, South Carolina, said never bonded with her adopted mother. She did find a second home with her horseback riding coach and the horses she adored. Finding her biological mother gave Elissa a glimmer of hope that the woman stokes and extinguishes in a torturous cycle. Speaking with her birth father only once, she confirmed the story of his own paternity, but Elissa never heard from him again. Relying on her husband, the first person she’s shared real love with, Elissa wishes reunion didn’t leave her so confused and feeling broken. This is Elissa’s journey. Elissa (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/m06Z3uf9j3E6kepKRwj2aLzMNVXJd9V9wZOhx_QXjuWT9GYiijlbQJusddgjFhBFivfAYPJP5Y2qLgVwrEs87fsWwMk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3.8 (00:03)): I am that 37 year old woman now who is dying to be hugged and held by their mother. Like, I need that moment in my life. I feel that I deserve it and I feel unbeknownst to her. She deserves it too. Beause I know that she's carrying this huge darkness over her, that she has the chance to make. Right? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/m06Z3uf9j3E6kepKRwj2aLzMNVXJd9V9wZOhx_QXjuWT9GYiijlbQJusddgjFhBFivfAYPJP5Y2qLgVwrEs87fsWwMk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=31.04 (00:31)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis. And today you're going to hear from Elissa in Hilton head, South Carolina, Elissa never bonded with her adopted mother, but she did find a second home with her horseback riding coach and the horses she adored. Finding her biological mother gave Elissa a glimmer of hope that the woman Stokes and extinguishes in a torturous cycle, speaking with her birth father only once she confirmed the story of his own paternity, but Elissa never heard from him again, relying on her husband, the first person she shared real love with Elissa wishes reunion. Didn't leave her so confused and feeling broken. This is Elissa's journey. Elissa was born in Allegheny County, Pennsylvania then adopted out of the children's home orphanage in Pittsburgh. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/m06Z3uf9j3E6kepKRwj2aLzMNVXJd9V9wZOhx_QXjuWT9GYiijlbQJusddgjFhBFivfAYPJP5Y2qLgVwrEs87fsWwMk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=102.92 (01:42)): Every summer. Her parents took her to the children's home summer picnic, where she kind of questioned why they were there. Elissa learned she was adopted at about four or five years old, but she really didn't grasp what adoption meant until she was around six. She said her adoptive parents weren't very communicative about her adoption or her birthday. So she's always questioned both. Most importantly, she didn't look like them and never really felt like she fit in with her physical appearance, nor did she feel that internal synchronization, that many biological families feel for one another. Elissa never really bonded with her adopted mother and her adopted father was often working. Elissa (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/m06Z3uf9j3E6kepKRwj2aLzMNVXJd9V9wZOhx_QXjuWT9GYiijlbQJusddgjFhBFivfAYPJP5Y2qLgVwrEs87fsWwMk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=147.53 (02:27)): I found out that I'm 72% Italian and my father, my adopted father is also Italian. I do have some similarities with him, but I have very dark olive skin, Brown eyes, Brown hair. I look Italian. My father is kind of short. He kind of has hazel eyes, you know, salt and pepper hair is, all I've ever known him to have. My mom, um, came from a Jewish family. She also was adopted and she had blue eyes, fair skin and blonde hair. So physically I didn't look like them. And none of my behavioralism in me mimiced any of them. It's like everything they tried to make me to be. It just didn't feel natural and almost kind of felt like a put on, like I can't explain it. Damon...
Ed called me from Hillsborough, North Carolina, but his journey begins in New York City. He describes a wonderful life in the suburbs of the city with no real concerns for his adoption — even after carrying his original birth certificate around as a teenager. Sparked by reunion television shows Ed searched for his natural parents discovering that his mother had been a star performer. Thanks to the generosity of strangers Ed gratefully received gratefully the Gift Best Given. This is Ed’s journey.
Tracey called me from Nashville, TN. She was raised in a family with a genetic trait that deeply impacted her middle sister, driving her appreciation for the power of genetic testing. Tracey knows a lot about her birth mother even though the woman rejected her twice.Process of elimination led her to her birth father, several loving siblings, and healing from the heartache of her first attempt at reunion. This is Tracey’s journey.
Val called me from outside of Houston, Texas, but her story started in in Kansas. She had a great childhood with her parents until a neighbor revealed her adoption to her, rocking her world, sending her into rebellious phase in life. When Val searched for her biological father, because his name wouldn’t have changed over the years, she found her natural parents were together. He was frosty to her and they barely spoke because he probably believed she wasn’t his. He went to his grave not knowing the truth. This is Val’s journey
Jennifer is a reunited adoptee from Pittsburgh. She’s a petite, white blonde of European descent whose adoptive parents are a Spanish man and a Mexican woman. Through her search, she found both of her natural parents are deceased, and she had half brothers on both sides, both named Tom. Unbeknownst to Jen, her maternal half-brother attended the same high school she did and bullied her! On her maternal side, she experienced secondary rejection which will never be resolved because her grandmother developed dementia and passed away. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/046-i-am-adopted-it-is-who-i-am/ (046 – I Am Adopted, It Is Who I Am) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Jennifer (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/hqjB_-FZdmap-fdy_D1JQC9ngV-vfIh7u3jhDRWCz1YkRftRtdrOOSb6VERgyg29_UnC4tqevSSA93_Vh7E0Mqm18kE?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=4.31 (00:04)): She literally told me, she goes, you know, you focus too much on being adopted and you ask too many questions and I'm like, but I get them adopted. It is who I am. I had no information about myself for 30 years. And you think I'm not going to ask questions. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/hqjB_-FZdmap-fdy_D1JQC9ngV-vfIh7u3jhDRWCz1YkRftRtdrOOSb6VERgyg29_UnC4tqevSSA93_Vh7E0Mqm18kE?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=25.26 (00:25)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Jennifer. She called me from Wellsburg West Virginia, where she's a caregiver for the elderly. Jennifer is transracially adopted, but I have to admit not in the way I usually think of that kind of adoption. She stood out in her family and her family stood out in their community. Jen shared that she was completely close to looking for her birth relatives until she got some stark examples of the importance of knowing your family's medical history. When she found her birth family, one of her gut feelings about her birth mother during her search was confirmed, but she also learned a crazy cruel irony about her high school past. In the end, Jen experienced a secondary rejection from her birth family. After she made a mistake at a huge family function. As you listen, decide for yourself, what you think the factors were in that rejection was that misstep as major as her family made it seem or where the history of guilt about hiding the truth or even the early onset of mental illness also factors. This is Jen's journey. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/hqjB_-FZdmap-fdy_D1JQC9ngV-vfIh7u3jhDRWCz1YkRftRtdrOOSb6VERgyg29_UnC4tqevSSA93_Vh7E0Mqm18kE?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=112.76 (01:52)): Jennifer's adopted father's relatives are from Spain and he grew up in Pittsburgh. He got a PhD in chemistry, then took a job with a pharmaceutical company working for a while in Mexico city. Her adopted mom was her father's secretary there. They fell in love and her mother got pregnant immediately giving birth to Jen's older sister. Then her father took a job back in Pittsburgh. So he moved his young family back to Pennsylvania. Jennifer's mother wanted a big family, but after several miscarriages and her husband's health problems, they were starting to settle into the notion that it would just be the three of them, Jennifer (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/hqjB_-FZdmap-fdy_D1JQC9ngV-vfIh7u3jhDRWCz1YkRftRtdrOOSb6VERgyg29_UnC4tqevSSA93_Vh7E0Mqm18kE?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=149.32 (02:29)): Our neighbor, who was a nurse. She, I don't know the connection here, exact details. And she has since passed away. So I can't ask her, but she somehow knew the doctor who delivered me, who was my birth mother's doctor. He worked at Allegheny general hospital in Pittsburgh, and his name was dr. Bell. And he was known for, and I'll say in the air quotes, helping girls in trouble. So she had
Brenda was born in California, grew up on the east coast and lives in Texas. She’s the child of a military family that has lived all over. When a school project required her to ask her adoptive mother about her family tree at eight years old, she was shown her non-identifying information for the first time. While the offer was open to review her information anytime, Brenda felt like the topic of her adoption was stressful for her mother, so she never asked. After the birth of her first son, Brenda sought her birth parents, definitively identifying her birth father first. He was emotionally ready to welcome her in. Finding her birth mother, she saw the mirror image of her self. Unfortunately, the woman was so traumatized following her pregnancy and the adoption process, she wasn’t as open to Brenda’s return. But the door isn’t completely closed. Read Full TranscriptBrenda: She just started crying and she just said, you know it, It took so long to forget and such a short time to bring it all back Brenda: What did you think in that moment. Brenda: Well, I mean I understand. I understand. She had to forget about me to move on. She had to because she just couldn’t live there and beat herself up for the rest of her life. Intro voices: Who am I? Who am I?..Who am I? Who am I?… Who Am I? Who am I? Damon: This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and today you’re going to hear from Brenda who called me from Texas. Brenda was raised as an only child in a military family and her parents always gave her what she needed to have a healthy, happy upbringing. After a school project, she was shown her non-identifying information and her curiosity about her birth mother opened up and her imagination kicked in, but it was her biological father whom she definitively identified first and who was mentally ready to receive her unscarred by the burdens, her biological mother bore after Brenda’s birth. This is Brenda’s journey. Damon: Brenda was born in California and grew up an only child of a military couple. They moved around a lot, living in different parts of the United States and overseas. At one point her parents intended to adopt a boy, but her father’s military orders transferred him. Before that adoption was completed. Brenda: I was the only one in the family that was adopted, you know, in the entire, either one of their families. So I didn’t really have anybody to talk to about it. They were always very open about it even though they were a little nervous about talking about that kind of thing. They’re just kinda little uptight about a lot of things. And um, so they had, I remember as a kid, I mean I’ve always known I was adopted and as a kid my mother would give me this little book to read about how special I was because I was adopted. I was selected, I was chosen and um, you know, that was kind of how it was approached. And uh, you know, most of the family, the extended family didn’t really treat me any differently than anybody else. We didn’t because again, with the military life, we didn’t live near anybody in the family either. My parents, they lived, their parents lived in different places and in the United States and we’d go visit occasionally about once a year, but that was about it and so it was just kind of the three of us growing up. Brenda: Brenda says she looks different from her family, but over the years people have said she looks like her father, which always made her laugh and oddly Brenda and her mother’s voice is sound almost identical. A bizarre coincidence for Brenda who worked in broadcasting. She speaks reverently of her mother and honestly about her father. Brenda: I’ve always gotten along great with her. I mean she really, she was a stay at home mom and even though,...
Jenny journaled about her birth mother from an early age. She grew up in a loving family, but the urge to find her birth family was always there. When Ohio opened it birth records, she obtained some vital information that led her to her birth mother on Facebook and later to her birth father. But she never expected to learn she had a full sister! The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/033-sister-reunited-didnt-know/ (033 – My Sister Reunited Too, But Didn’t Know About Me) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Jenny (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/qJLYZBStNE14c_xfeh2rk1J--476DEoMmtOCCVj0W1GUgNPhBR6ST6SdsXbUZoTF0VsHMSUhSfi2u9L9cBtyp9CGF_I?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=2.31 (00:02)): I called them and I told them who I was and I said, you know her name and he's like, Oh yeah, yeah, that's who I am. And I mean, he didn't try to act like that wasn't him. And um, he just told me a whole bunch of stuff and that, that was one of the things he told me was, Oh, we had another kid together. He didn't say how old or even if it was boy or a girl, but he was like, yeah. And I was like, Oh. But I didn't tell him I knew. Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/qJLYZBStNE14c_xfeh2rk1J--476DEoMmtOCCVj0W1GUgNPhBR6ST6SdsXbUZoTF0VsHMSUhSfi2u9L9cBtyp9CGF_I?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=30.33 (00:30)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/qJLYZBStNE14c_xfeh2rk1J--476DEoMmtOCCVj0W1GUgNPhBR6ST6SdsXbUZoTF0VsHMSUhSfi2u9L9cBtyp9CGF_I?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=41.73 (00:41)): This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Jenny. In Ohio where Jenny lives, the law changed to recently allowing her to access her original birth certificate. That meant after years of research with no information, she was able to finally track down her family. She connected with them on Facebook and just introduced herself out of the blue. But it turned out she wasn't the only one to return to the family. In the end, Jenny made family connections she's excited about and she's looking forward to getting to know them all more. Here's Jenny's story. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/qJLYZBStNE14c_xfeh2rk1J--476DEoMmtOCCVj0W1GUgNPhBR6ST6SdsXbUZoTF0VsHMSUhSfi2u9L9cBtyp9CGF_I?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=87.27 (01:27)): Jenny says she has a great family referring to her adoptive family. Interestingly, her parents didn't think they could have children, so they adopted. Her parents conceived her younger sister naturally thereafter. I asked Jenny about her feelings as an older adopted sibling growing up. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/qJLYZBStNE14c_xfeh2rk1J--476DEoMmtOCCVj0W1GUgNPhBR6ST6SdsXbUZoTF0VsHMSUhSfi2u9L9cBtyp9CGF_I?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=103.92 (01:43)): Did you guys, you and your sister talk about your adoption at all, maybe when you got older or anything like that when you could sort of have more logical conversation about it? Jenny (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/qJLYZBStNE14c_xfeh2rk1J--476DEoMmtOCCVj0W1GUgNPhBR6ST6SdsXbUZoTF0VsHMSUhSfi2u9L9cBtyp9CGF_I?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=115.07 (01:55)): Um, yeah. I mean, I, she knew that she always knew I wanted to search. Um, in Ohio, they just changed the law where I could get my original birth certificate. So growing up I knew I wasn't going to get it. Um, and cause that just changed like two years ago. So, um, I knew I'd have to like hire someone or do something or you know, to be able to find them unless, unless they would join a mutual consent, which they never did. So like a registry. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/qJLYZBStNE14c_xfeh2rk1J--476DEoMmtOCCVj0W1GUgNPhBR6ST6SdsXbUZoTF0VsHMSUhSfi2u9L9cBtyp9CGF_I?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=143.661 (02:23)): A registry or some other online resource. I gotcha. Jenny...
As a child Denise’s family blamed her for a tragedy that took the life of her younger brother. They mistreated Denise and her tyrannical stepfather ultimately saw the children as a means to his own financial gain. She took drastic steps to get herself kicked out of the house on a path to her own independence. Today, Denise has found love in a supportive husband. Now she knows what love feels like, and has the experiences that come from a supportive extended family. But her own son, who didn’t know his own father growing up, now has a similar nagging feeling that Denise had to connect with her own family. She has resolved to surround herself with positivity and love in order to move on in a positive direction with her life. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/007-denise-n/ (007 – I’m Great With My Family, They Love Me For Me) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Denise: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/H_v0MCT-kyN1kS-WJZaxTns5r_W9iF-1pixBk65s55k6W4E1FSQQ2FXxqYGyoVj2v0Oxc3zW2j-VkpI6nTK_KYG9jVQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2.3 (00:02) I've always searched for him. I've always wanted to know him. I mean, I, you know, I always have, especially my dad. I mean his parents used to be the king and Queen at the fair and um, I went there every year, just tried to get a glimpse of him. I had no idea what they looked like, but I still wanted to know them. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/H_v0MCT-kyN1kS-WJZaxTns5r_W9iF-1pixBk65s55k6W4E1FSQQ2FXxqYGyoVj2v0Oxc3zW2j-VkpI6nTK_KYG9jVQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=26.32 (00:26) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/H_v0MCT-kyN1kS-WJZaxTns5r_W9iF-1pixBk65s55k6W4E1FSQQ2FXxqYGyoVj2v0Oxc3zW2j-VkpI6nTK_KYG9jVQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=37.7 (00:37) This is, Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon and my guest today is Denise. I contacted Denise online after I read her post in an adoption support group on Facebook called I Am Adopted. I reached out to her to be supportive because I sensed some real pain and deep emotions from her online. It turns out she didn't have a conventional adoption. The way I typically think of them and her childhood wasn't a typical childhood at all. A tragedy in her childhood, left her extended family, blaming her for their sad loss, which turned into mistreatment and a hard childhood in the aftermath. She always wondered where her biological father was and why he never came to rescue her. Here's what Denise shared with me. Denise: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/H_v0MCT-kyN1kS-WJZaxTns5r_W9iF-1pixBk65s55k6W4E1FSQQ2FXxqYGyoVj2v0Oxc3zW2j-VkpI6nTK_KYG9jVQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=86.03 (01:26) Hello Damon!...
Julie describes herself as very independent from her parents’ influences and drastically different than her older adopted brother. She tells the story of finding her birth mother thanks to open access legislation in Australia and the gentle influence of a psychic she visited for fun. When her birth mother shared that her birth father could only be one person because there were only two men in her life, it took a long time, a bit of disappointment, and some DNA investigation and luck to determine there had to be a third man. Listen as Julie tells her story of going back and forth across the globe from Los Angeles to Australia in search of answers. Read Full TranscriptJulie: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/7Cfm-MuexaTe6SKdoheqHhtDI-phDKfrb7yBqAtiPJkjVgWzm4oivIKkak1vWUiWCcH154d1FE-d5PaeiRgxugp5EGk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2.56 (00:02) I remember that I was in an orphanage for the first two months of my life and I’m so physically connected to my children after I had them and they me and I couldn’t imagine not having them just to respond to their every need at every moment, especially in that first couple of months and I envisioned myself in this crib with, you know, I’m sure I had wonderful care with the nurses, but he, that I bond with and who responded to my needs on demand, what happened. So that kind of haunts me almost. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/7Cfm-MuexaTe6SKdoheqHhtDI-phDKfrb7yBqAtiPJkjVgWzm4oivIKkak1vWUiWCcH154d1FE-d5PaeiRgxugp5EGk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=39.46 (00:39) Who am I? Who am I? Am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/7Cfm-MuexaTe6SKdoheqHhtDI-phDKfrb7yBqAtiPJkjVgWzm4oivIKkak1vWUiWCcH154d1FE-d5PaeiRgxugp5EGk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=50.72 (00:50) This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Julie. She called me from Los Angeles, but she was born and raised overseas until she was 15. She describes herself as very independent from her parents influences and drastically different than her older adopted brother. Julie tells the story of finding her birth mother. Thanks to open access legislation in Australia and the gentle influence of a psychic she visited for fun when her mother shared that her birth father could only be one person because there were only two men in her life. It took a long time, a bit of disappointment and some DNA investigation and luck to determine there had been a third man. Listen, as Julie tells her story of going back and forth across the globe. This is Julie’s journey. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/7Cfm-MuexaTe6SKdoheqHhtDI-phDKfrb7yBqAtiPJkjVgWzm4oivIKkak1vWUiWCcH154d1FE-d5PaeiRgxugp5EGk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=108 (01:48) Julie was born and raised in Melbourne, Australia. Her mom is an American and when Julie was 15 years old, they moved to the US, specifically to Washington state, leaving that fun Aussie accent behind. Julie’s always known she was...
Megan says she put her adopted mother through the ringer emotionally when she was a teenager. She thinks that’s partially because of her anger with her birth mother over her relinquishment. Most adoptees have no clue whom they’re setting out to find when searching for biological relatives, but Megan knew precisely who her birth mother was and what she looked like. In reunion, she found her half-brother who knew Megan’s birth father’s identity, because they were friends. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/051-2/ (051 – The Black Sheep Rocks The Boat) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Megan (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/pFpKuJ7KfDYifki0Uo20FOKBqAyfIthThPc4LUH521ZaH6dI_tvDkSzChRrDfmU4VaxeRvMPPDTgOPKwzWd1b-xUQ0A?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=4.88 (00:04)): He was basically robbed. You know, I felt so terrible for him. He was robbed of a child. He was only 23 when I was born and he didn't have any other children after me. So I was only titled and I felt really bad that he was robbed as having, you know, a child Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/pFpKuJ7KfDYifki0Uo20FOKBqAyfIthThPc4LUH521ZaH6dI_tvDkSzChRrDfmU4VaxeRvMPPDTgOPKwzWd1b-xUQ0A?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=27.47 (00:27)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/pFpKuJ7KfDYifki0Uo20FOKBqAyfIthThPc4LUH521ZaH6dI_tvDkSzChRrDfmU4VaxeRvMPPDTgOPKwzWd1b-xUQ0A?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=38.84 (00:38)): This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Megan. She called me from Los Angeles. One of my favorite places. Megan says she put her adopted mother through the ringer emotionally when she was a teenager. And she thinks that's partially because of her anger with her birth mother over her relinquishment. Most adoptees have no clue whom they're setting out to find when searching for biological relatives. But Megan knew precisely who her birth mother was and what she looked like. In reunion she found her half brother who knew exactly who Megan's birth father was because they were friends. This is Megan's journey. Megan was born in Pomona, California. She's in her twenties and her parents are in their sixties. So they were closer in age to being her grandparents than parents, she says she has a loving family and she had a really great childhood despite feeling different from them. She calls herself a black sheep in the family Megan (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/pFpKuJ7KfDYifki0Uo20FOKBqAyfIthThPc4LUH521ZaH6dI_tvDkSzChRrDfmU4VaxeRvMPPDTgOPKwzWd1b-xUQ0A?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=106.31 (01:46)): I was adopted in like a great family. I was a little bit of a black sheep, or I thought I was, I still kind of feel that way, but my childhood was awesome. You know, like my family is so loving. My grandparents were so amazing. I almost like going back to being a kid. I almost didn't really feel adopted until I got into my teen years. And you know, every, every teenager goes through, you know, the hard times and the hormones go crazy. And, but my childhood was amazing. I wouldn't change anything for the world. It definitely got harder when I hit teenage years. For sure. That's when I noticed, okay, I'm adopted. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/pFpKuJ7KfDYifki0Uo20FOKBqAyfIthThPc4LUH521ZaH6dI_tvDkSzChRrDfmU4VaxeRvMPPDTgOPKwzWd1b-xUQ0A?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=144.62 (02:24)): Yeah. Tell me, tell me a little bit about that feeling of being a black sheep. Megan (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/pFpKuJ7KfDYifki0Uo20FOKBqAyfIthThPc4LUH521ZaH6dI_tvDkSzChRrDfmU4VaxeRvMPPDTgOPKwzWd1b-xUQ0A?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=148.88 (02:28)): It's weird because my younger sister, who's almost 16. She's also adopted from another family. And, um, that's actually where I noticed that the most, you know, she is so different than me and she doesn't want to know anything, not...
Angie lived a split life as a child in small-town Mississippi. During the week her mother had her in all kinds of activities and her stepfather was her rock. On the weekends her dad exposed her to alcohol, drugs, and abuse. Through it all, she suspected that she was adopted but her mother lied about it for 19 years. In reunion, Angie learned that her birth mother had seen her several times as a little girl on the Gulf Coast of Mississippi. She got healing from her birth mother who said she always loved Angie and developed a cherished bond with her paternal grandmother who helped her navigate her emotions over her biological father. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/044-never-met-saw/ (044 – She Never Met Me, But She Saw Me) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Angie (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/0EFKtduZRuJzaQyqY00BbMMTs8sTkYjA3eQm7o6Ni4ddc3N4c5bcriU-Wnt5Jysapp-7qyeyShKWvHGieTwIOvk3keY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=4.5 (00:04)): When we got to our house, you know, we were getting ready for bed late and she says, you know, I just have to tell you something and I don't want it to scare you. And I don't want it to, you know, make you think I'm crazy. And I said, what? And she said, when I hugged you, she said, I felt like 42 years just went away. And she said, I felt my baby girl again. And I thought, I said, I did too, Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/0EFKtduZRuJzaQyqY00BbMMTs8sTkYjA3eQm7o6Ni4ddc3N4c5bcriU-Wnt5Jysapp-7qyeyShKWvHGieTwIOvk3keY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=32.1 (00:32)): who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Angie. She called from Panama city, Florida where she and her husband live on the Bay. But Angie grew up in Mississippi with a tragic story in her childhood, but it was her normal. She didn't know she was adopted as a child, but she suspected it. And she asked about it. She was shooed away from the topic as a teenager. Her first son's medical needs meant she had to have a conversation with her adopted mother about the truth. That didn't go very well. When Angie's second son was born, her search began in earnest, but was boxed in by the small town community where everyone knew one another. So news of someone's adoption search traveled fast. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/0EFKtduZRuJzaQyqY00BbMMTs8sTkYjA3eQm7o6Ni4ddc3N4c5bcriU-Wnt5Jysapp-7qyeyShKWvHGieTwIOvk3keY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=93.78 (01:33)): After years of waiting. She finally did a DNA test in 2017 and was in touch with her family that same day when she met her birth mother, the healing was an unreal experience where her mother admitted she had definitely seen Angie as a child. This is Angie's journey. Angie thinks of her story as a bit of a fairy tale, starting off very harshly, but ending in a beautiful way. She grew up in central Mississippi in a very small town that only has two traffic lights and is still paved with bricks from the old days. It's the kind of place where literally everyone knows everyone else. When Angie was five years old, her parents divorced her adopted mother remarried and amazing man whom Angie adores. Angie (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/0EFKtduZRuJzaQyqY00BbMMTs8sTkYjA3eQm7o6Ni4ddc3N4c5bcriU-Wnt5Jysapp-7qyeyShKWvHGieTwIOvk3keY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=140.63 (02:20)): My adopted father was abusive. He was an alcoholic and an addict. So that was, you know, my horror story because I still had to go visit him on the weekends. So I grew up in a situation where I had to grow up very quickly. I mean, I saw things most people don't see until they are in their adulthood. And you know, even then they don't choose to see it. But my adopted mom remarried when I was six and she married an amazing man. And if I get a little choked up it's because he was my...
At 16 years old, Ron decided to satisfy his curiosity about his first family. But his search was challenging. He was born on a South Carolina Air Force Base that had closed, the internet didn’t have the reach that it has now, and AncestryDNA’s connections didn’t help. He recruited the help of a search angel who recognized important information in the search that Ron hadn’t seen before. In the end, his mother was glad to be found, and he got some answers about himself and his family. Check out Ron’s site http://www.findingtruefamily.com (FindingTrueFamily.com) The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/026-ive-got-second-mom-can-love/ (026 – I’ve Got A Second Mom And I Can Love Them Both) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Ron (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/HfLlDzW3WjL3GW2PaGyYqk9hyuI5UwoCYZXH3kGHPY_Elyagep1aHuvhuPYIYGfvpx9JTiG05CGXGE2mvwsrWorrIOY?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=3.25 (00:03)): I pick up my phone, I start dialing the number and my hands are shaking. I'm bawling like a baby, you know, 42 year old bawling like a baby. I just, I, there was no way I could make it go and I'm not even sure what I was afraid of or why I couldn't do it, but I just could not do it. Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/HfLlDzW3WjL3GW2PaGyYqk9hyuI5UwoCYZXH3kGHPY_Elyagep1aHuvhuPYIYGfvpx9JTiG05CGXGE2mvwsrWorrIOY?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=27.56 (00:27)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/HfLlDzW3WjL3GW2PaGyYqk9hyuI5UwoCYZXH3kGHPY_Elyagep1aHuvhuPYIYGfvpx9JTiG05CGXGE2mvwsrWorrIOY?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=38.8 (00:38)): This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Ron from South Carolina. He says his reunion journey started in his teens but didn't yield any results until he was in his forties. During that time, he tried a variety of tactics to try to locate someone that he was related to who might have some helpful information about his birth family. In the end, the amazing work of his search angel led him to his birth mother and his relatives in Missouri and North Carolina. Ron was born in 1974 and placed for adoption immediately. His family expanded in 1980 when his parents adopted Ron's sister, whom you'll meet in a later episode. Ron shared that he grew up with the knowledge that he was adopted and had a good life with his family, but he always had that natural curiosity to search for his original family. It was about 16 years old when he began his search. I asked why that age was the time he began the journey. Ron (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/HfLlDzW3WjL3GW2PaGyYqk9hyuI5UwoCYZXH3kGHPY_Elyagep1aHuvhuPYIYGfvpx9JTiG05CGXGE2mvwsrWorrIOY?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=111.99 (01:51)): Well, I was, uh, you know, of course, born in 1974, um, placed for adoption pretty much immediately. Was actually adopted by one family and for whatever reason it didn't work out, so they had to send me back. Um, but I was only eight or nine months old when my adoptive parents and got me. So, you know, obviously I have no memory of the first one. Um, I've known since day one since before I could understand that I was adopted and that, uh, you know, the story I was always told and heard that is relatively true, that my birth mom was a young girl. Uh, 16 years old, couldn't take care of me. So she wanted to place me for adoption. So that a family that could take better care of me could uh, raise me. So like I've always known I was adopted. My parents adopted another child, my sister and I about the same time I reconnected with my birth mom, she found her birth mom. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/HfLlDzW3WjL3GW2PaGyYqk9hyuI5UwoCYZXH3kGHPY_Elyagep1aHuvhuPYIYGfvpx9JTiG05CGXGE2mvwsrWorrIOY?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=166.93 (02:46)): I asked Ron what kinds of thoughts or expectations he had about his search before
I figured since I started season 6 with some personal stories of what I had been going on in my life I should end this season with an update on how things have been going personally. I wanna thank everyone who reached out with support and love for the things our family has endured. Damon Hey it’s me! I figured since I started season 6 with some personal stories of what I had been going on in my life I should end this season with an update on how things have been going personally. I wanna thank everyone who reached out with support and love for the things our family has endured When we left off, my mother Veronica was in a 96 hour hold at a mental facility which luckily went through a weekend so it was actually more than 96 hours in total. She was released on a Monday because they couldn’t hold her any longer. The determined my mom was not homicidal and she was not suicidal - and in their words, "it’s not not illegal to be demented" After all she is still an adult and she was responsible for herself and her actions, regardless of everything that led up to her institutionalization Astonishingly, the staff were ready to put her in a cab in which she could have requested to go anywhere. Thankfully my aunt Bonnie, Veronica’s younger sister who lives in Missouri, picked her up then took her to the house she lost in foreclosure at her request. there was nothing Bonnie could do so she dropped Mom off then watched her from nearby. The guy who bought the house at auction, Kevin, did too. He was part of our team monitoring Mom to know when she was at the house because his team was working there, and we needed to know where she was. We coordinated for Kevin to call the police because in essence, Mom was trespassing at his home The police picked her up again, then dropped her at the Hampton inn on nearby Belton. I called to introduce myself to the staff and share Veronica’s story — The staff had unwittingly just become a part of my team It was weird to have mom out on the streets, independent, but not at her house. The only thing I was certain about was she was definitely going to try to go back to that house... … and she did. The Next morning she went down the front desk of the hotel and bummed a ride from a hotel front desk staff person who was getting off from his night shift. My mother, the super risk averse safety conscious woman I had always known had just bummed a ride from a total stranger. When she got to the house, apparently she couldn’t get in the front door so she somehow opened the garage door and went in the house through that entry door. I’m sure you can imagine Kevin pure shock when he showed up to the house to find Veronica inside like some paranoid schizophrenic magician. She Spoke harshly to Kevin, pushed him, said she called the mortgage company and they said HE could not pay the mortgage — of course she made no such call The Next morning my mother tried to walk to the house from the Hampton inn... That’s a 5 mile walk and keep in mind she’s 74 with a diagnosed blood clot in her leg... … and it was bitter winter cold outside in February. The next morning she took a cab to the house. Later in the week she eventually rented a car and all I could do was hope for the best. One evening the staff at the front desk of the Hampton Inn called me because she was still out into the evening, which was uncharacteristic for her routine. Usually she'd get up in the morning and go downstairs for breakfast, go back upstairs and pack everything from her room, take her belongings out to her car and tell the staff she was going home. They stopped calling me to ask if they should hold her room at the hotel because even though she portrayed that she was checking out, she always came back a few short hours later. But that night she was still out and it...
Jim, who now lives in Delaware, said growing up he had no desire to search for his first family. After his parents passed and he found his adoption name change form, his feelings about a search changed. While he missed his biological mother, one of her lifelong friends shared some intimate pieces of the woman’s life, including his birth father's name. Jim made the trip to Texas to meet his birthfather, who felt re-energized in his final months by Jim’s emergence. This is Jim’s journey.
Andrew lives in Murphy, Oregon, near Grant’s Pass but his is an east coast story. Andrew grew up kinda feeling like an odd man out in his family, not fitting his parents ideas of who he would be. In an amazing coincidence, his pen pal relationship with an elementary school class was key to unlocking his adoption reunion search. The open road took him to meet his birth father who introduced him to his maternal grandmother.She welcomed Andrew at first, but ultimately she was unable to separate him from the memories of what his birthfather did to her daughter years before. This is Andrew’s journey.
Lisa called me from New Jersey to share her story of growing up in an abusive home. She had one unrelated adopted sister who didn’t have the same experience in their house that Lisa had. Lisa always felt like the odd person out and hoped that reunion with her birth mother would be a rescue from those feelings.The opposite was true with her maternal connection which fell apart twice, but Lisa’s paternal ties have made her feel accepted for her nature versus how she was… or wasn’t nurtured. This is Lisa’s journey
Gayla called me, with her best friend Lisa, from Georgia. Gayla said she was loved so much by her adopted parents that you never would have known she was an adoptee. When she found her biological mother they got really close until the woman said something unkind about her adopted mother that strained their relationship some. Locating her biological father, Gayla was met with rejection until she drove 5 hours to meet the man face to face. A well intended misstep drove a wedge between them, so she holds out hope that her apology will be meaningful and they can be friends. This is Gayla’s journey.
Michelle, who lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico, shared her story of growing up in the care of a workaholic mom in a family that she didn’t look like at all. After moving from Hawaii to Africa, then back to the states, Michelle finally decided to search for herself, and therefor her biological family. After a random layover in the south, she met her birth mother and siblings, found her birth father through DNA, but can’t boast of a strong relationship with either biological parent. Still she’s thankful for having gotten confirmation from her search. This is Michelle’s journey…
John called me from Charlotte, NC, but his story starts in Ontario Canada. He shares how he grew up in a strict home and how even though he was mischievous, he didn’t think his actions warranted his unceremonious delivery to boarding school. After decades of dedication to his search, he finally discovered his birth mother’s identity, accidentally uncovered deeply held lifelong secrets, and he hopes to have a pint with the man falsely named as his birth father. This is John’s journey.
Chris lives in Northern California outside of San Francisco. He shares how he selflessly discovered his adopted brother’s birth mother just in time for them to meet. Chris said he was thankful that at least one of the two brothers had completed their search. When Chris told his parents he launched his own search it created animosity between them that they’ve worked hard to get over. After finding a birth mother match through DNA testing, Chris has connected with a loving family that has wondered about him for years. This is Chris’s journey. Recorded on my son, Seth's, 12th birthday, January 16, 2020!
Veronica, called me from New Orleans, Louisiana. She tells her tale of insensitivity within her adoptive family, even with an adoptive mother who was an adoptee herself. Veronica struggled to conduct a search for her roots after Hurricane Katrina threw everything into upheaval in the Big Easy. When she finally found her birth mother, the woman was apathetic to their connection, turning toxic. Now, Veronica wants to find her half brother, and her paternal roots. This is Veronica’s journey.
Tezita (te zi TA) called me from Sacramento, CA, but she tells a harrowing story that originates in Ethiopia. Tezita’s adopted family had many other international adoptees, but she was singled out for solitary confinement. She was sent back to her homeland where she thrived mentally in a boarding school away from her adopters. When she returned she witnessed more abuse and decided she’d had enough. Kicked out of the family, she was forced to thrive independently relying on her communities in faith and adoption.This is Tezita’s journey.
Amy called me from Highland Township, outside of Detroit, Michigan. She described her early years dealing with the insecurities of her adopted mother who defaulted to threats to try to control Amy’s curiosity about her adoption. On her search, she learned that her biological mother had been sent away, the man on her birth certificate was not her birth father, and her birth mother’s family had some significant secrets in its history. Secrets that Amy knows, but they don’t. This is Amy’s journey.
April called me from New York, New York, but her story originated in New England. She is a transracial adoptee whose search took her to a quintessential New England town and the connection to her birth mother’s former home which put April and the woman on the phone that night. But the pain of April’s conception was too much, so the pair never connected. Now April holds out hope that one day she’ll know the man with whom she shares DNA. Until then she maintains a strong foundation in her own identity. This is April’s journey.
Michelle, from North Hollywood, California, is an Asian American, but her specific heritage is unclear, and she doesn’t think she’ll ever fully know where she comes from. There’s no information about her in the year before her adoption, only a note that says "This baby was found..." Michele describes her feelings about being adopted by Asian parents, her lack of a specific birth date, and her creative outlets that keep her going instead of searching. This is Michelle’s journey.
DL called me from Manhattan, New York. He talks about his youth in a home with a mother addicted to prescription medications who probably wasn’t fit to adopt. When he moved out at 18, he followed his natural talent to climb his way into the music industry. However his suspicion that his birth mother was alive, contrary to what he was told, never left him. In reunion, DL's birth mother nearly backed out of meeting him as the guilt of his relinquishment washed over her decades after her decision. Thankfully DL’s sister made sure their reunion, and his reunion with his sisters, did happen. This is DL’s journey. DL (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/JWxdKfskzk5638s6L6iNoVstzi__VEJgmEg-El71rtm3AjcvCjzIKQKKcpaancarD9Xo_PnkHLliS0vWSbQ5TzBOHOc?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=4.93 (00:04)): I walked into the living room and my brother in law sees me and his jaw drops to the floor because I look exactly like my mother and my mother was seated on the love seat. And I walked over to her, sat down, gave her a big hug and just whispered in her ear. I want you to know that I'm not mad. And she started crying and I started crying. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/JWxdKfskzk5638s6L6iNoVstzi__VEJgmEg-El71rtm3AjcvCjzIKQKKcpaancarD9Xo_PnkHLliS0vWSbQ5TzBOHOc?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=32.9 (00:32)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is DL. He called me from Manhattan, New York DL talks about his youth in a home with a mother addicted to prescription medications who probably wasn't fit to adopt. When he moved out at 18, he climbed his way into the music industry, but his suspicion that his birth mother was alive. Contrary to what he was told, never left him in reunion. His birth mother nearly backed out of meeting him as the guilt of his relinquishment washed overheard decades after her decision. Thankfully, DL sister made sure their reunion and his reunion with his sisters did happen. This is DL journey born in 1952, DL said adoption was just becoming a more popular option for family planning. Back then childless couples were just starting to turn to adoption as an opportunity to make a family. Some of them trying desperately to avoid scuttlebutt and derisive gossip from their peers. DL's mother could not conceive. And the people around her were having children or talking about adopting. So his parents adopted him. He grew up in Vineland, New Jersey in between Atlantic city, New Jersey and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He was the only child in their home listen to the way he describes his mother's choice to adopt a child. DL (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/JWxdKfskzk5638s6L6iNoVstzi__VEJgmEg-El71rtm3AjcvCjzIKQKKcpaancarD9Xo_PnkHLliS0vWSbQ5TzBOHOc?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=141.05 (02:21)): My mother, uh, I don't think was really prepared for adoption. Um, in the first place she had some serious psychological troubles and she was also carotid to prescription medication, um, namely amphetamines and barbiturates, which made her mood swings, uh, violent and sudden. Um, so she really would have been probably better off getting a dog. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/JWxdKfskzk5638s6L6iNoVstzi__VEJgmEg-El71rtm3AjcvCjzIKQKKcpaancarD9Xo_PnkHLliS0vWSbQ5TzBOHOc?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=171.38 (02:51)): What does that mean for you as a child who's experiencing these youth? So, you know, as a kid, you don't know that she's cross addicted. You've this sounds like knowledge you've gained as an adult, but what did it feel? DL (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/JWxdKfskzk5638s6L6iNoVstzi__VEJgmEg-El71rtm3AjcvCjzIKQKKcpaancarD9Xo_PnkHLliS0vWSbQ5TzBOHOc?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=182.16 (03:02)): No, I gained as a adolescent. Damon...
Wendy, from Massachussetts, was adopted through Louise Wise, an agency with a notorious reputation. Separately, the tragic murder of Lisa Steinberg triggered her adoptive mother to give Wendy open permission to find her birth mother to let her know she’s ok. On her search, Wendy found her birth father first, but connecting with her birth mother is where she’s found similar interests and a relationship that continues to grow as she introduces her birth mother to her family. This is Wendy’s journey. Wendy (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/CpsWtSmF2y4p55l4Lj6DJPpeoD41rOV1JB5YCB-Osi-Txkl4zQQ9IU-g-u0TqSLLY8GYOhJLGIlQG7Euhm6Gf4Fol48?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=2.76 (00:02)): You know I called my adopted mom and said, you know, this is what happened. So she's been, you know, she has been part of the process the whole way along. And um very supportive, which I think is huge to have that kind of permission from your adopted parents and that, you know, comfort them being comfortable with the process has really been helpful to me. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/CpsWtSmF2y4p55l4Lj6DJPpeoD41rOV1JB5YCB-Osi-Txkl4zQQ9IU-g-u0TqSLLY8GYOhJLGIlQG7Euhm6Gf4Fol48?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=32.87 (00:32)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/CpsWtSmF2y4p55l4Lj6DJPpeoD41rOV1JB5YCB-Osi-Txkl4zQQ9IU-g-u0TqSLLY8GYOhJLGIlQG7Euhm6Gf4Fol48?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=42.44 (00:42)): Who am I, this is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show, you're going to meet Wendy. She called me from Massachusetts. Wendy was adopted through an agency with a notorious reputation separately. A tragic headline triggered her adoptive mother to give Wendy open permission to find her birth mother, to let her know she's okay on the search. Wendy found her birth father first, but connecting with her birth mother is where she found similar interests and a relationship that continues to grow. This is Wendy's journey. Wendy was born in July of 1968 in New York city adopted a few weeks later through the Louise wise agency. If the name of that agency sounds familiar, it's the one that was at the center of controversy in the documentary film, three identical strangers, the story Chronicles, identical triplets, who were separated at birth and intentionally placed for adoption into three different homes with different socioeconomic makeups. The men were studied throughout their childhoods. Then they found one another completely by accident. As young adults focusing on Wendy, her parents had been married six years before they adopted her through private adoption. Two years later, they adopted her sister through an attorney in California, then a year and a half after her parents unexpectedly had a biological son. That's three children in three and a half years in their home in Northern New Jersey. Wendy said when she arrived, her parents sent out announcements that had both her birth and adoption dates on them. Wendy (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/CpsWtSmF2y4p55l4Lj6DJPpeoD41rOV1JB5YCB-Osi-Txkl4zQQ9IU-g-u0TqSLLY8GYOhJLGIlQG7Euhm6Gf4Fol48?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=157.34 (02:37)): You know, I felt very loved. It was a very positive family experience, very accepted by everyone in the family. Although the family was very small. So my mother, my adopted mother is still alive. She's 80 years old. My adopted father died when I was about 28 years old. So it's been quite a while. And um, in the community, my parents were, um, never hid the fact that my sister and I were adopted. Although, you know, it wasn't like a frequent topic of conversation. And I didn't, you know, I told people if asked, I don't think I really went around, announcing it to friends. You know, even through my search and reunion process, people who know, who have found out, some people have said to me, well, I never knew you were adopted. Damon...
Carrie called me from Lynchburg, Virginia. In her journey you’ll hear her talk about the moment she realized she was found, and how she was in contact with her birth parents at the same time one the same day. Carrie talks about two amazing reunions: one where she got to see her birth mother in competition, the other where she got to meet her maternal and paternal siblings together. She also talks about herself as an adoptive mother to a special young man who came into her life at a time when he needed her most. This is Carrie’s journey… Carrie (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ay3MWG4jTEPtwqjXELzl7wIbfZjUxB-q0f7-YyqUfVkDV8sXJ73d-MhVIHtOF_Hux9lGzIPYiHDFAQa3EtyGfYznuYE?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=3.83 (00:03)): One reason why it's all been so positive for me is that, you know, the minute I learned that they were looking for me, it was kind of like, Oh, well, they really did want me, you know, like they really did. You know, it wasn't like I was just discarded or somebody's secret or anything. No. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ay3MWG4jTEPtwqjXELzl7wIbfZjUxB-q0f7-YyqUfVkDV8sXJ73d-MhVIHtOF_Hux9lGzIPYiHDFAQa3EtyGfYznuYE?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=25.16 (00:25)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Carrie. She called me from Lynchburg, Virginia, in her journey you'll hear her talk about the moment she realized she was found and how she was in contact with her birth parents at the same time. On the same day, Carrie talks about two amazing reunions. One where she got to see her birth mother in competition, the other, where she got to meet her maternal and paternal siblings together. She also talks about herself as an adoptive mother to a special young man who came into her life at a time when he needed her most. This is Carrie's journey. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ay3MWG4jTEPtwqjXELzl7wIbfZjUxB-q0f7-YyqUfVkDV8sXJ73d-MhVIHtOF_Hux9lGzIPYiHDFAQa3EtyGfYznuYE?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=89.21 (01:29)): I had the good fortune to interview Carrie on January 2nd, 2020. I wished her a happy new year and added what a special anniversary this day was in her life. One year ago, that day was the first time Carrie had received an email from her biological mother over the holidays. Last year, she received a generic piece of mail that looked like a credit card offer or something. So she just stuffed it in her purse and dismissed it on new year's Eve. She was cleaning out her purse when she found the correspondence that said the sender's client was looking for someone that they thought might be Carrie, the woman who sent the letter was out for the holidays. So she didn't receive Carrie's reply until she returned to the office on January 2nd, 2019. Before we get to that though, let's go back to the beginning. I mean, you didn't think we were just going to jump right into the good part. Did you? I asked Carrie to tell me about adoption for her as a kid in her family and in her community. She said she was adopted at six weeks old from Catholic family services in Roanoke, Virginia. She grew up in a small town called Alta Vista, South of Lynchburg, Virginia. Carrie (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ay3MWG4jTEPtwqjXELzl7wIbfZjUxB-q0f7-YyqUfVkDV8sXJ73d-MhVIHtOF_Hux9lGzIPYiHDFAQa3EtyGfYznuYE?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=165.05 (02:45)): I have had the most amazing parents. I mean, I have never wanted for anything. I've never known anything other than a house full of love, um, which has been super amazing. And, um, I think actually kind of this year has really highlighted that more for me and given me a bigger sense of appreciation for all that I have had growing up, Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ay3MWG4jTEPtwqjXELzl7wIbfZjUxB-q0f7-YyqUfVkDV8sXJ73d-MhVIHtOF_Hux9lGzIPYiHDFAQa3EtyGfYznuYE?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=188.37 (03:08)):...
Andrew called me from Connecticut after a move from Maryland. He told me that he’s been through a lot in his life. He’s a transracial, international adoptee who grew up in a predominantly white community there in Connecticut. He shares how he strode to overachieve in athletics and performing arts to try to overshadow his brown skin, the unmistakable mark of being an adoptee in his community. However he credits his strong Catholic faith for getting him through everything, including coming out as a gay man. This is Andrew’s journey. Andrew (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/fg3W_Fs7UVw-H_Or5OPpAs0TGNl5xVJzumKGPAFj_-SWnxNzRcA5Z0ExA5b3ypGYFXk_3IE8lzuvtgembSFNiFsIiTo?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=2.61 (00:02)): On top of all the other portions of my identity, I prayed my little heart out because as an adoptee here, as someone brought into this family, my biggest fear was that they could potentially send me back because I'm gay. So with that fear, I prayed even harder. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/fg3W_Fs7UVw-H_Or5OPpAs0TGNl5xVJzumKGPAFj_-SWnxNzRcA5Z0ExA5b3ypGYFXk_3IE8lzuvtgembSFNiFsIiTo?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=32.84 (00:32)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show, you're going to meet Andrew. He called me from Connecticut after a move from here in Maryland, Andrew told me, that he's been through a lot in his life. He's a trans-racial international adoptee who grew up in a predominantly white community there in Connecticut. He shares how he Strode to achieve in athletics and performing arts to try to overshadow his Brown skin, the unmistakable mark of being an adoptee in his community. However, he credits his strong Catholic faith for getting him through everything, including coming out as a gay man. This is Andrew's journey. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/fg3W_Fs7UVw-H_Or5OPpAs0TGNl5xVJzumKGPAFj_-SWnxNzRcA5Z0ExA5b3ypGYFXk_3IE8lzuvtgembSFNiFsIiTo?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=96.44 (01:36)): Andrew was born in the Philippines, but grew up in Brookfield, Connecticut. His parents were white and they had one son who was biological to them. And six years, Andrew senior, when she was pregnant with Andrew's brother, the doctor told his mother her pregnancy was so difficult that having another child was not a good idea. When Andrew was adopted, he was about 10 months old. His parents received him at the airport. Andrew said, growing up in that area was quite an experience. He was loved, accepted and cared for as part of the family. But back in the late eighties, trans racial adoptions, weren't as prevalent as they are now, especially in a small town in Connecticut. He said his mother experienced a fair number of interesting encounters with members of the community. Andrew (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/fg3W_Fs7UVw-H_Or5OPpAs0TGNl5xVJzumKGPAFj_-SWnxNzRcA5Z0ExA5b3ypGYFXk_3IE8lzuvtgembSFNiFsIiTo?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=148.16 (02:28)): So, I mean, this was all stories told back to me, um, as I have grown, but, uh, there was one time when she had me in her, in the baby carriage. And, uh, she was in the department store shopping around, um, and a fellow shopper looked into the carriage you see me the, uh, the Brown baby, the Brown son that adopted, um, and looks back at my mother almost with a face or perplexed face, um, and simply asks, why did you do that? Um, and that was, that was one of the first moments that my mother and family experienced something to that effect because prior to that, they already had me and showing me around the community. And, uh, I grew up Roman Catholic. So, uh, you know, meeting all the fellow parishioners and neighbors and, and loved ones and they received nothing but positive feedback of, of acceptance. Uh, but this is one of the first occurrences that I have been told that my mother remembers...
Ginger who lives in Los Angeles, began her reunion journey as a teenager who found her birth mother, saw her picture, emailed her, but never made the leap to meeting the woman. In adulthood Ginger had given birth to twins who emotionally impacted her and reminded her of the story of her own birth shared by her birth mother via email many years before, so she resurrected their relationship. This episode is unique because we captured Ginger’s story in the lead up to her cross country reunion, then we followed up shortly after to see how things were in the aftermath of hours spent face to face with her birth mother. This is Ginger’s journey. Ginger (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/l1Si2RVKozjg3qkjYQhvmU8jLGXb2a0sqv6yx4jGwK2AnMAjxUnZ6SdVBB48XYrXn4CkIccVTOgnGfiPuNuG2AaDWtc?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=5.12 (00:05)): And I sent it to her and she wrote back and said, you have no idea what you have done for me. You have just uncapped 34 years of guilt and shame and made me feel so much better. And she asked me, would you be willing to, to meet and I said, Oh yeah, I definitely would. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/l1Si2RVKozjg3qkjYQhvmU8jLGXb2a0sqv6yx4jGwK2AnMAjxUnZ6SdVBB48XYrXn4CkIccVTOgnGfiPuNuG2AaDWtc?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=31.01 (00:31)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Ginger who lives in Los Angeles. Her reunion started as a teenager who found her birth mother emailed her, but never made the leap to meeting the woman in adulthood. Ginger had given birth to twins who emotionally impacted her and reminded her of the story of her own birth shared by her birth mother many years before. So she resurrected their relationship. This episode is unique because we captured Ginger's story in the lead up to her cross country reunion. Then after to see how things were in the aftermath of an hour, spent face to face with her birth mother. This is Ginger's journey. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/l1Si2RVKozjg3qkjYQhvmU8jLGXb2a0sqv6yx4jGwK2AnMAjxUnZ6SdVBB48XYrXn4CkIccVTOgnGfiPuNuG2AaDWtc?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=97.34 (01:37)): Back in the summer of 2019, I was sitting on a plane ready for takeoff. When I checked email one last time before setting my phone on airplane mode, I found an email from Ginger who said she was meeting her birth mother in a few days. And she knew there was only going to be one chance to capture herself in the version of who she was before reunion. So she hoped we could record before and after interviews. I immediately recognized that she was absolutely right. We are different people before reunion, then we are after. So I emailed her back to say, yes, she admitted she had been listening to who am I really a lot in the days leading up to her reunion, Ginger (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/l1Si2RVKozjg3qkjYQhvmU8jLGXb2a0sqv6yx4jGwK2AnMAjxUnZ6SdVBB48XYrXn4CkIccVTOgnGfiPuNuG2AaDWtc?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=141.14 (02:21)): I was listening to it thinking, Oh my gosh, all these things are going through my mind about like, what's about to happen. And this is like an interesting spot to be in like that I'm in right now. And I won't have this spot anymore after this weekend. It's like, my life is going to be like before and after this weekend, it's going to be like, I'm a, I'm going to be a different person with different views. So I'm like, I shouldn't, I don't know. I just want to record and like tell the story like, as it happens so that, uh, the emotions are raw. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/l1Si2RVKozjg3qkjYQhvmU8jLGXb2a0sqv6yx4jGwK2AnMAjxUnZ6SdVBB48XYrXn4CkIccVTOgnGfiPuNuG2AaDWtc?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=175.4 (02:55)): Since I was traveling, I didn't have my normal recording setup. So I spoke to Ginger Damon...
Jessica is a rare native, born and raised, in Las Vegas, Nevada. She shares how she found her biological relatives through DNA testing despite her best attempts to get information from the Mormon church, an entity focused on global genealogy. Jessica discovered she looks like her birth families and has similar traits to them. But Jessica also learned that for all she has in common with her birth mother, and how much she wants to meet the woman, they are barred from seeing one another. This is Jessica’s journey.
I planned to bring the show back this week, but the end of 2019 and beginning of 2020 have been rough. When you listen to this one, you'll understand why...
Sara was the baby in her family of four biological half brothers to one another, and one other brother who was also adopted like her just like her. When she hit puberty, a naturally more emotional time in our lives, she lost her grandmother, someone who never made her feel like an adoptee. She found her way out of the darkness from a suicide attempt and substance addiction, but still she hadn’t escaped depression. When she found her biological mother things started out well, but they turned grim when Sara caught the woman in lies about her biological father’s identity. In the end, her journey has taken a turn for the positive, but she lost many relationships that were important to her along the way. Still, Sara says she has no regrets. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/014-sarah-g/ (014 – I Would Not Have Made It Without My Faith) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Sara (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/rXdU24xrheQnUfoDmUrZgeoUcedAQGegWmSTVxrrNfOt_2uI9VKBlQQD85VX-n19McUNfnrJVDbk5vErVS0TNCWOHYQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=5.16 (00:05)): So for two years I'm believing he's my father. My kids finally meet them. We spend holidays, everything together, but something in my head saying really, really small. What if he's not your father? Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/rXdU24xrheQnUfoDmUrZgeoUcedAQGegWmSTVxrrNfOt_2uI9VKBlQQD85VX-n19McUNfnrJVDbk5vErVS0TNCWOHYQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=23.43 (00:23)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/rXdU24xrheQnUfoDmUrZgeoUcedAQGegWmSTVxrrNfOt_2uI9VKBlQQD85VX-n19McUNfnrJVDbk5vErVS0TNCWOHYQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=30.58 (00:30)): This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/rXdU24xrheQnUfoDmUrZgeoUcedAQGegWmSTVxrrNfOt_2uI9VKBlQQD85VX-n19McUNfnrJVDbk5vErVS0TNCWOHYQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=49 (00:49)): Hey, it's Damon, and on the show today, I'm joined by Sarah. Sarah has lived in Indianapolis all of her life and all of her life, she's known she was an adoptee. In her family, there were six siblings, four older boys who are not adoptees and one brother who is also an adoptee and then Sara, the baby in the family. She said that even though she grew up with the knowledge that she was an adoptee, she had it very rough in her teenage years because she is adopted. Sarah battled depression, faced post traumatic stress disorder and even attempted suicide. She says she carried the emotional baggage of being adopted with her until she finally started to do something about it and search for her biological family. Her journey began with tremendous luck in finding her family very quickly, thanks to the great work of search angels. But her luck didn't hold out as lies were uncovered. And a DNA test proved that the man whom she thought was her biological father really was not. Here's Sarah's journey. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/rXdU24xrheQnUfoDmUrZgeoUcedAQGegWmSTVxrrNfOt_2uI9VKBlQQD85VX-n19McUNfnrJVDbk5vErVS0TNCWOHYQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=111.59 (01:51)): Sarah says she was the baby in her family of four biological half-brothers to one another and one other, a brother, who was also adopted just like her Sara (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/rXdU24xrheQnUfoDmUrZgeoUcedAQGegWmSTVxrrNfOt_2uI9VKBlQQD85VX-n19McUNfnrJVDbk5vErVS0TNCWOHYQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=120.24 (02:00)): For starters, Um, it's kind of cool in a sense. I'm the only girl, so I was very, very spoiled in that sense. Um, having all older brothers, I'm not the only adoptee, the youngest boy, he's also adopted, but we're not related at all. So that was something always cool to grow up with that we can relate to each other in that sense of both being adopted. Growing up wise, I'd say in a city, I didn't know anyb,ody
Cindy had one sister growing up in a mormon family in Las Vegas. But the two adoptees looked very different: Cindy’s blue eyes and blond hair were in stark contrast with her sister’s olive skin and brown hair. She was a very sick child battling illness throughout her life. She never had a burning desire to locate her biological family until she gave birth to her second child. Cindy really wanted to know more about the hereditary traits she was passing down to her children as her own health began to decline. With hope in her heart Cindy used Adoption Registry Connect (http://www.adopteeconnect.com), to locate her biological mother, almost immediately. Cindy’s mother admitted some painful family history that was responsible for her illness, but at least she had the answers she desperately needed to manage her own health. The post 008 – She Knew She Had To Do This For Me appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.
Katelyn followed her older adopted sister into rebellion against their adopted mother’s rule. Years later her husband suggested they do DNA tests when she got pregnant. Seeing relationships online she hadn’t considered before, she searched for her birth parents, uncovering family secrets and helping other adoptees in the family tree find theirs. At times, the search left Katelyn very puzzled, even totally dejected. She found her birth mother and sisters happy to meet her, and her birth father in prison. Read Full TranscriptKatelyn: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/u_SOfMFD9iH2hxdlE9hoKdioF655U6j8_UdzNCwVGe09z52U-znepeKscrq9tiS2lA-wGveDJ6T1kjsJL0yCJQjZPl8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=5.73 (00:05) I was never asked about my adoption in any depth it was mentioned, but I always feel like my therapies were like, how do we fix Katelyn now, to make her okay with her environment or how do we fix her so that she can go home and her parents can manage her? It was never like, what’s going on with you? How were you feeling? What can we do to make your life better? Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/u_SOfMFD9iH2hxdlE9hoKdioF655U6j8_UdzNCwVGe09z52U-znepeKscrq9tiS2lA-wGveDJ6T1kjsJL0yCJQjZPl8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.9 (00:35) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/u_SOfMFD9iH2hxdlE9hoKdioF655U6j8_UdzNCwVGe09z52U-znepeKscrq9tiS2lA-wGveDJ6T1kjsJL0yCJQjZPl8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.17 (00:47) This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Katelyn. When I spoke to her, she was living in New York City planning a move to northern Virginia. Well, what you’re about to hear is her story of rebellion against her mother’s rule when they lived in Pennsylvania and her eventual investigation into her roots in Florida and South Carolina. At times the search left, Katelyn very puzzled and even totally dejected. After an intensive search, she found her birth mother and sisters and her birth father in prison. I hope you’ll forgive the audio on this episode. This is Katelyn’s journey. The first five years of Katelyn’s life were picture perfect. Her parents had been married for quite a while and struggled with infertility when they decided to adopt through Catholic charities. Katelyn had an older adopted sister, but she wasn’t nearly as curious about adoption as Katelyn. Unfortunately, Katelyn’s parents divorced when she was about six. Katelyn: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/u_SOfMFD9iH2hxdlE9hoKdioF655U6j8_UdzNCwVGe09z52U-znepeKscrq9tiS2lA-wGveDJ6T1kjsJL0yCJQjZPl8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=119.24 (01:59) around the age of eight or so. My mom gave me an envelope. I had my non identifying information in it. I think I was about eight, yeah. My sister adoption was with a lawyer and her mother was a teenager. That’s literally all that we know, but my mother was older, and put in a lot of information apparently. Of course, you never...
Vonni learned from the neighbor’s child that she was adopted, but she was too young to know what it really meant. In her teen years, the yearning to understand her adoption led her on a journey an hour away to the adoption agency for her non-identifying information. It contained a horrible terrible story, that seemed to be questionable according to the social worker who documented her adoption. In the years that followed, Vonni continued to drive a long way to search the yearbook archives for her birth mother, only to be linked with her birth father first. When she found him he wasn’t interested in knowing Vonni, until his fond memories of her birth mother kicked in and they figured out she was a different daughter than he thought. He identified Vonni’s biological mother, and within months Vonni had met both parents. Read Full TranscriptVonnie: 00:05 I was, I was having such a great relationship with my dad, my bio dad that I, and I told him too. I said, you know, I found her and I said, I don’t even know if I’m going to call her because after meeting him it was enough. I didn’t feel like I needed her anymore. Damon: 00:29 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Vonnie. She called me from Lincoln, Nebraska, where she shared her story of life and adoption as a teenager. Vonnie ventured in our, from her home to the adoption agency that placed her to try to understand more about herself in her non identifying information. She learned a terrible story that seemed to be questionable according to the social worker in the years that followed, she continued to drive a long way to search the yearbook archives for her birth mother. When she found her birth father, he wasn’t interested in knowing her until his fond memories of her birth mother kicked in. He identified the woman and within months Vonnie had met them both. This is Vonnie’s journey. Damon: 01:34 Vonnie and her younger brother were both adopted, but they’re not biological to one another, so she grew up fairly comfortable with the notion of adoption. Interestingly, she found out that she was adopted by accident when she was four years old, but she didn’t quite know what it meant. Vonnie: 01:50 My little neighbor friend next door who was six, we moved into the neighborhood about a year before my parents built the house and we were playing one day and he said, “you’re adopted”. And I was like, no, I didn’t know what it meant. And I was just like, okay. And then I didn’t think anything of it and a couple of hours later he came back over and crying and he said, “I’m sorry, I said you were adopted.” So he must have gone home and told his mom, you know what he said, and she said, you can’t say that or whatever. She said. And he came back and apologized and I just remember thinking that’s okay. Still not knowing what it meant....
Tim was adopted into a Lutheran family and his curiosity about his roots started when he was very young. When he met his biological mother, she portrayed her husband as Tim’s father, but the truth came out when her daughters suggested a different version of the truth. It wasn’t until Tim’s early 70’s that he made paternal links and solved the mysteries of his life Read Full TranscriptTim: 00:01 So they were staying with me and then they brought me along to the convention, into the Party afterwards and brought me to the party and these are old friends of theirs saying, well, who is this? Who is this? And again, they played the kind of joke routine, oh, he’s the, he’s relative doesn’t he, look like us, don’t you think he looks like us then. And then there was a lot of laughter and that crossed the line. That was one of the lower points of this whole thing for me. Intro voices: 00:36 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: 00:48 Who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show you’re going to be Tim who called me from Brooklyn, New York. I asked him if he was a native New Yorker and he said, no, I’ve only been here 50 years. He was born and raised in Minnesota. You’ll hear him describe a life where he was allowed to bond with his birth mother early, which he feels made a huge difference in his adoption. Later. His faith, which he followed a long way, turned out to be quite different from his heritage. Tim shares how his birth mother first didn’t want to meet, but was convinced to do so by Tim’s father or so he thought many decades later, Tim searches over as he’s found the missing pieces in his seventies. This is Tim’s journey….Tim was born in St Paul, Minnesota in 1944 at booth memorial hospital run by the Salvation Army in connection with a home for unwed mothers. Tim: 01:50 I like to say I think it was significant that my birth mother kept me for a little over a month. I don’t know if that was a policy back then, but uh, I look back and think… I’m not a bitter person. I think the fact that she. She nursed me and she kept me for a little over a month. I think that… That helped in this whole adoption process. Damon: 02:15 What did you mean by that? Tim: 02:18 I’ve read a couple books. “Primal Wound” being a being a pretty significant book and it just feels to me like I had that connection. I had that bonding with, uh, with my mother, with my birth mother and as a primal wound refers to the sounds and the smells and all
Mitch’s parents adopted his older brother, then him. Then they got a surprise addition to the family. They had a great life outside of Chicago, but Mitch did feel somewhat sidelined by the attention paid to his youngest sibling. He learned as a teen that not everyone in his family was supportive of adoptions, and his attempts at reunion have been a frustrating set of rejections. The post 039 – I’m An Adult, But They’re Acting Like Children appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast. Mitch (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/LIphgoyaHcbSN03BMZFuOIgijbi2RAsIcBtPAirJnSIfm1inQmZ69jRYf_bcYNIoK26I9R9apIk9ntkyDjWeunn8Htc?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3.25 (00:03)): And I pulled up my shirt and I pointed to my belly button and I said, I don't know who this was attached to you do. You can look at yours and you know exactly who yours was attached to. I have never, in 45 years been in the same room as the woman that mine was attached to. I don't know who she is. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/LIphgoyaHcbSN03BMZFuOIgijbi2RAsIcBtPAirJnSIfm1inQmZ69jRYf_bcYNIoK26I9R9apIk9ntkyDjWeunn8Htc?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=27.49 (00:27)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Mitch who spoke with me from Chicago. He grew up in a rural area outside of the city, which can be great for a kid to be outdoors, but tough. When you're trying to make friends with the neighbors. Mitch grew up feeling like his adoption was just fine, but soon he realized that not everyone in his family truly believed that throughout his life he's been reminded of his position as an adoptee, from painful visits to the doctor's office, with his wife to hurtful comments by family members. Mitch has struggled to make connections with his biological family. And ultimately he just wishes people could own up to the past and face the present because he is here because of them. This is Mitch's journey, Mitch's parents adopted his older brother and they already knew that they would adopt again. So they made the arrangements. When they brought Mitch home, they didn't realize they were already adding a third baby to their family Mitch (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/LIphgoyaHcbSN03BMZFuOIgijbi2RAsIcBtPAirJnSIfm1inQmZ69jRYf_bcYNIoK26I9R9apIk9ntkyDjWeunn8Htc?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=104.14 (01:44)): as happened, um, with women who have had such difficulties that once in the act of parenting, it seems to help regulate whichever hormones were out of whack and causing the miscarriages. And so when they brought me home, I don't think they quite realize that my mom was pregnant. Um, I have a younger sister who was their biological child who has eight months younger than I am. Wow. So it was like the Irish twins. You know, my mom has joked about how people would give her just the dirtiest looks. And I'm like, what do you mean the dirtiest? Cause you had two kids. And she said, no, because you could tell that they weren't twins because they were obviously different sizes. And it was a look like you just couldn't keep your knees together for two minutes. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/LIphgoyaHcbSN03BMZFuOIgijbi2RAsIcBtPAirJnSIfm1inQmZ69jRYf_bcYNIoK26I9R9apIk9ntkyDjWeunn8Htc?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=152.36 (02:32)): she was being judged. Mitch (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/LIphgoyaHcbSN03BMZFuOIgijbi2RAsIcBtPAirJnSIfm1inQmZ69jRYf_bcYNIoK26I9R9apIk9ntkyDjWeunn8Htc?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=154.59 (02:34)): Oh wow. Yeah, there was a little bit of that. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/LIphgoyaHcbSN03BMZFuOIgijbi2RAsIcBtPAirJnSIfm1inQmZ69jRYf_bcYNIoK26I9R9apIk9ntkyDjWeunn8Htc?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=157.31 (02:37)): The family moved out to what was at the time, a rural part of Illinois. He grew up on a huge plot of acres of land, which is a great environment
As a kid, Rebecca was considered quirky. Unbeknownst to her, that quirkiness was an after effect of fetal alcohol syndrome. She tells the story of learning her birth mother’s lonely and troubled past, and the closure she finally got after she learned of her mother’s death. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/027-got-picture-mothers-sadness-though-people/ (027 – I Got A Picture Of My Mother’s Sadness Though Other People) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Rebecca (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/60Om6hfRU-PbCnhCogsqti4gALRy5FI1j1qFL8Gw9-Qcgeh0KJGGCl4fPFbK2ktFGpCkelob3nBwt9t5SDlqtB5KOsM?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=3.03 (00:03)): I went to bed that night and I woke up and I went back to the picture and I'm like, Oh my God. I was like, that's exactly how I looked in high school. Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/60Om6hfRU-PbCnhCogsqti4gALRy5FI1j1qFL8Gw9-Qcgeh0KJGGCl4fPFbK2ktFGpCkelob3nBwt9t5SDlqtB5KOsM?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=16.71 (00:16)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/60Om6hfRU-PbCnhCogsqti4gALRy5FI1j1qFL8Gw9-Qcgeh0KJGGCl4fPFbK2ktFGpCkelob3nBwt9t5SDlqtB5KOsM?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=28.13 (00:28)): This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show you'll hear the story of Rebecca. She's one of my people from Columbia, Maryland. She went to a rival high school Centennial, but that's okay. Everyone knows Wilde Lake is the best. Rebecca's parents told her very early that she was adopted and she loved it. As a kid, Rebecca was considered quirky. Unbeknownst to her, that quirkiness was an aftereffect of the alcoholism that plagued her mother's life. She tells her story of learning her birth mother's lonely and troubled past and the closure she finally got after she learned of her mother's death and her quest to find answers about her paternal side of the family. Rebecca was adopted as an infant and she lauds her adoption as a positive experience with her family. But she had challenges with her brother, her parents' biological son. And he admitted his feelings about Rebecca the night before her big day. Rebecca (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/60Om6hfRU-PbCnhCogsqti4gALRy5FI1j1qFL8Gw9-Qcgeh0KJGGCl4fPFbK2ktFGpCkelob3nBwt9t5SDlqtB5KOsM?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=94.65 (01:34)): I was adopted at one month old, so my parents told me, I think when I was five or six, like as young as I could understand and um, they didn't hide it from me and it was.. I mean I always felt like I belonged to them. I never felt different. Like I, I had written that I was quirky, but that turned out to be something totally different. So, um, it was cool. Like I loved it cause I loved the attention. Like my mom would tell the, you know, how they adopted me to her friends when they would go out and I just, it was awesome. And like nobody ever, from what I remember, nobody ever looked at my parents like, Oh poor you, you know, you had to go the adoption route. It was a very positive experience. My brother was biological and he was four years older than me. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/60Om6hfRU-PbCnhCogsqti4gALRy5FI1j1qFL8Gw9-Qcgeh0KJGGCl4fPFbK2ktFGpCkelob3nBwt9t5SDlqtB5KOsM?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=146.161 (02:26)): He was biological to them? Rebecca (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/60Om6hfRU-PbCnhCogsqti4gALRy5FI1j1qFL8Gw9-Qcgeh0KJGGCl4fPFbK2ktFGpCkelob3nBwt9t5SDlqtB5KOsM?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=148.83 (02:28)): Yeah, yup. So him and I constantly butted heads. I don't know. I think part of that's because my parents, after they had him, they had a daughter and she passed away at a week old due to being a preemie. So, um, that's why they looked into adoption after that. So I think my brother felt a little like I replaced her, which I get. I get it. Damon...
Laura became a dear friend when we quickly bonded over being adoptees while working together. Laura had been searching for her family of origin for years, before the age of the internet, and the promise of consumer DNA testing linking long lost relatives. In this episode Laura reveals her childhood challenges to bond with her adopted family who were open about her adopted status in unhealthy ways. Their mental health issues and the emotional childhood that Laura lived, drove her desire to find her family origin, as the wondered about her biological mother every day. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/002-laura-r/ (002 Laura R – When the Law is in the Way, Try DNA) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Laura: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/BZSvbPJpWyD2WllJZhjAVI1LlI2tB8TobcLo78q5MF4ZTvQWecn8hS7j7qPT-29KQfM2lOqJRh_RbuGFkvg3zJWcLQ8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=0.29 (00:00) From the beginning of doing that DNA test I specifically have looked at it as whatever comes of this and whether people are welcoming or they, they don't want to know me. I just have to accept it like, and I think as a message to other adoptees on that journey, you really need to get to that place. If you don't get to that place, you're going to be in potentially for a lot of pain. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/BZSvbPJpWyD2WllJZhjAVI1LlI2tB8TobcLo78q5MF4ZTvQWecn8hS7j7qPT-29KQfM2lOqJRh_RbuGFkvg3zJWcLQ8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=26.45 (00:26) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/BZSvbPJpWyD2WllJZhjAVI1LlI2tB8TobcLo78q5MF4ZTvQWecn8hS7j7qPT-29KQfM2lOqJRh_RbuGFkvg3zJWcLQ8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=37.88 (00:37) Who am I really? Welcome to Who am I really? A show about adoptees who have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show we have my former colleague Laura, Laura told me the story of how she had a challenging childhood in adoption. Had a struggle to gain identifiable information from her birth records out of New York state and her ultimate connection to her aunt through DNA testing and a happy family reunion. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/BZSvbPJpWyD2WllJZhjAVI1LlI2tB8TobcLo78q5MF4ZTvQWecn8hS7j7qPT-29KQfM2lOqJRh_RbuGFkvg3zJWcLQ8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=80.03 (01:20) So thanks for coming. What, what do you have here? Laura: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/BZSvbPJpWyD2WllJZhjAVI1LlI2tB8TobcLo78q5MF4ZTvQWecn8hS7j7qPT-29KQfM2lOqJRh_RbuGFkvg3zJWcLQ8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=83.16 (01:23) So that is the information that I received in 1999 it was the combination of a request I'd made to the State, New York State for non-identifying information, which you're allowed to receive...
Dan has barely told anyone the his whole story until this episode. He shared that he was in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) as an infant. Then his son's rare medical condition and his wife’s ability to share her heredity while he could not was a catalyst for his search. Dan is thankful for the warm welcome he’s received in his paternal family, and is still hoping that his birthmother will come around to wanting to know him. This is Dan's Journey. Dan (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/X15fKgRhj8jgGSi_RxApPs02IoQWYgeGj887drs2_oax2uc9nUmnsTJC53R7daubSeWZWdtuJG0cifqTzqit_Uhqg7k?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=4.67 (00:04)): I kind of find it ironic that now that I found my birth father, that my birth parents had passed away. So it's like, I hear a lot of people when you try to read to your birth parents, it's like your chapter one in the beginning. You don't know that. But now that I met them, I'm getting more about my beginning, but I don't have my parents to give me chapters one and two, you know, when you're real young and you don't remember everything, Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/X15fKgRhj8jgGSi_RxApPs02IoQWYgeGj887drs2_oax2uc9nUmnsTJC53R7daubSeWZWdtuJG0cifqTzqit_Uhqg7k?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=30.8 (00:30)): Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/X15fKgRhj8jgGSi_RxApPs02IoQWYgeGj887drs2_oax2uc9nUmnsTJC53R7daubSeWZWdtuJG0cifqTzqit_Uhqg7k?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.6 (00:35)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Daniel. He called me from Nicholasville, Kentucky. Dan has barely told anyone his whole story until this episode, he shared that his son's rare medical condition and his wife's ability to share her heredity while he could not was a catalyst for his search. Dan is thankful for the warm welcome he's received in his paternal family and is still hoping that his birth mother will come around to wanting to know him. This is Dan's journey. Daniel was born in January of 1980, adopted four months later after he spent that period of time in the neonatal intensive care unit, the NICU. Dan (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/X15fKgRhj8jgGSi_RxApPs02IoQWYgeGj887drs2_oax2uc9nUmnsTJC53R7daubSeWZWdtuJG0cifqTzqit_Uhqg7k?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=94.28 (01:34)): So I was born six weeks premature, and I had some brain and lung issues. So I was in the NICU for the first four months of life. The doctor didn't think I would live to two may never walk and could be blind. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/X15fKgRhj8jgGSi_RxApPs02IoQWYgeGj887drs2_oax2uc9nUmnsTJC53R7daubSeWZWdtuJG0cifqTzqit_Uhqg7k?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=108.26 (01:48)): Dan's adoptive parents had a variety of personal setbacks that prevented them from getting pregnant. But four years after Dan was born, his little brother who is biological to their parents was conceived. They grew up out in the country, outside of Morgantown, West Virginia, and the brothers got along just fine. Their father's side of the family lived nearby. So all of the kids just ran up and down from house to house, taking advantage of being outdoors. Dan (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/X15fKgRhj8jgGSi_RxApPs02IoQWYgeGj887drs2_oax2uc9nUmnsTJC53R7daubSeWZWdtuJG0cifqTzqit_Uhqg7k?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=135.59 (02:15)): Two of my uncles live within a mile of me, so we could walk. I could walk house to house and run around and displaying the neighborhood. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/X15fKgRhj8jgGSi_RxApPs02IoQWYgeGj887drs2_oax2uc9nUmnsTJC53R7daubSeWZWdtuJG0cifqTzqit_Uhqg7k?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=142.91 (02:22)): That's incredible. That's some of the best growing up, man, when you can just go between house to house, safe and sound. No worries. Dan...
Pam, from Emeryville, CA, told me her desire to search started when she was a kid, but it was Oregon’s laws that changed everything for her search. When she met her birthmother she encountered a woman who couldn’t relay the details of her past, leaving Pam with only her paternal side of the story. He says that what is alleged against him is not true, but Pam is having a hard time forgiving the man. This is Pam’s journey. Pam (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/grVgoPGkQWx1SzeJqndGGrocNJz6cDkJCAKtRelPXieJA7SDAYRHwzpLEeiFEhU70YdebGpzeUM8udtWUk5T2DCFfeo?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=4.19 (00:04)): So I thought that from the time I was 19, until I started meeting people in my mid thirties, that was part of my trying to identify what it meant to be alive. Even it's like, Oh, and then I thought, gosh, my mom might not want me to come find her because maybe I'm a traumatic thing. She wants to forget. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/grVgoPGkQWx1SzeJqndGGrocNJz6cDkJCAKtRelPXieJA7SDAYRHwzpLEeiFEhU70YdebGpzeUM8udtWUk5T2DCFfeo?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=32.84 (00:32)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Pamela. She called me from Emeryville, California. Pam told me her desire to search started when she was a kid, but it was Oregon's laws that changed everything for her. When she met her birth mother, she encountered a woman who couldn't relay the details of her past leaving Pam with only her paternal side of the story. He says that what was alleged against him is not true, but Pam is having a hard time forgiving the man. This is Pam's journey. Pam grew up in a suburb of Portland, Oregon called Milwaukee and in Redmond, Washington and Pamela's family. They didn't ask about adoption when she was four or five. Her parents took time to convey that she was loved, chosen and special in her experience. She had everything a child could want and everything that came with what she called a privileged white, upper middle class upbringing and upbringing, devoid of emotion. I asked Pam what she meant by that. Pam (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/grVgoPGkQWx1SzeJqndGGrocNJz6cDkJCAKtRelPXieJA7SDAYRHwzpLEeiFEhU70YdebGpzeUM8udtWUk5T2DCFfeo?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=126.71 (02:06)): I was discouraged from being an expressive child. They were very sort of stoic people. And so if I were to express some bright emotion, it would be tamped down somehow I would be told I was being hysterical or you know, these kinds of things. So it was just, I think we were really mismatched with each other. I'm a very warm emotive person and they were very cool unemotive. People. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/grVgoPGkQWx1SzeJqndGGrocNJz6cDkJCAKtRelPXieJA7SDAYRHwzpLEeiFEhU70YdebGpzeUM8udtWUk5T2DCFfeo?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=157.49 (02:37)): It sounded like her passion and fervor for life were not at all meant by her parents' personalities. She said, she always felt very odd and out of place. Pamela has one older brother non-biological to herself and her parents conceived one biological son as well. She's sandwiched between her brothers and they're all only about 16 months apart in age, she said in her toddler pictures, when you look at her adoptive mom, you can see she's expecting their younger brother. I was curious about how the siblings got along, especially since she and her older brother share an adoption kinship. I wondered if it drew them closer. Pam (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/grVgoPGkQWx1SzeJqndGGrocNJz6cDkJCAKtRelPXieJA7SDAYRHwzpLEeiFEhU70YdebGpzeUM8udtWUk5T2DCFfeo?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=195.27 (03:15)): Actually, not really. No. My brothers are very close with each other and I'm kind of the, the black sheep person in the family. My oldest brother was adopted at birth and I was adopted later. Um, I was...
David from Columbus, Ohio said he was practically at the front door of reunion, but drove away. Years later he finally found some siblings who looked almost exactly like him, and others who’s genetic connection was undeniable. David admitted he’s not an emotional guy, but the rollercoaster of his adopted mother sparking his curiosity, his fear of what he might face on a search, inaction when he had the chance, and the combinations of acceptance and rejection were a lot to bear over the years. This is David’s journey. David (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/EAlpk8k6DyWzA-ubO_Hy0auoOT1Zf0sFl2FThKHvB2ghOLWl8odBk26VcWVqfO8HAegqla7ZxVcophEBhe5X8ErcVtM?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=8.48 (00:08)): And like I said, by nature, I'm not a very emotional person. I don't wear my emotions, on my sleeve but man, this was probably the most emotional thing. And I've buried three parents. And by far, this is the most emotional thing I've ever done in my life. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/EAlpk8k6DyWzA-ubO_Hy0auoOT1Zf0sFl2FThKHvB2ghOLWl8odBk26VcWVqfO8HAegqla7ZxVcophEBhe5X8ErcVtM?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=32.93 (00:32)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is David. He called me from Columbus, Ohio in David's story. You'll hear a man who was practically at the door of reunion, but drove away years later, he finally found some siblings who looked almost exactly like him and others whose genetic connection was undeniable. It's a story made for a book or a movie. Thankfully David has filmed it all. This is David's journey. When I spoke to David, he was in the process of filming a documentary about his adoption journey. He said that from what he's heard, he had a pretty charmed adoption. It was an arranged adoption. And he went straight from the hospital to his new home where he describes a fantastic life. His mother was a stay at home. Mom, his father ran a local used car lot. David (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/EAlpk8k6DyWzA-ubO_Hy0auoOT1Zf0sFl2FThKHvB2ghOLWl8odBk26VcWVqfO8HAegqla7ZxVcophEBhe5X8ErcVtM?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=106.01 (01:46)): I had a, you know, just total attention and they showered me with love attention that stayed active in everything. Church, small groups played sports and did everything. So any and everything that I could ever want need think about was provided before I could really even think need or want it. So I was very fortunate in my situation to know nothing but love. And, and, uh, so I was very blessed as a child. And that continues to this day. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/EAlpk8k6DyWzA-ubO_Hy0auoOT1Zf0sFl2FThKHvB2ghOLWl8odBk26VcWVqfO8HAegqla7ZxVcophEBhe5X8ErcVtM?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=139.58 (02:19)): David said he was an only child. His adopted mother was able to get pregnant one time, sadly, she had a bicycle accident and she was never able to get pregnant again. He said he had people in his life who filled the roles of siblings though. One dear cousin was like a big sister to David. He had a close buddy in the neighborhood, Kevin, who was also adopted, who was also adopted and was like a kindred spirit. And they grew up almost like brothers. They were that close. When I asked about adoption as an experience in his home, he said they only spoke of it twice in their house. The first time was when David was a boy, maybe five years old. David (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/EAlpk8k6DyWzA-ubO_Hy0auoOT1Zf0sFl2FThKHvB2ghOLWl8odBk26VcWVqfO8HAegqla7ZxVcophEBhe5X8ErcVtM?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=182.34 (03:02)): You know, when I was old enough to understand my parents sat me down and told me that I was adopted. And then it was never really an issue after that. I mean, I look so much like my mother that, you know, there was never any, any thing, you know, where wow, you look totally...
For Shelby, growing up as a Korean adoptee left her feeling “othered” as she didn’t quite fit into her community. The Korean school her parents tried to raise her in wouldn’t accept her either. She was forced to live in between her culture and what Americans would or would not let her be. On a heritage trip to South Korea she experienced the heavy emotions of reunion with her birth mother, the challenge of remaining a secret, and witnessed the frustrations of her brother who couldn’t locate his biological family. Shelby also gained a real compassion for her adopted mother whose reasons for adopting brought Shelby and her mother closer together. This is Shelby’s journey. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/106-beautiful-truth/ (106 – Beautiful Truth) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Shelby (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/tExgVbjLnQ9sOuRzYQsSQ9q4pQ_uXUHKeOPuUZNCH2zYs43r0DaF4uPW786FXmXhG5jJ3jzEHexaX2W54SfE0ypJANI?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=2.91 (00:02)): She had been raped and she got pregnant and her parents did not want to help raise the baby. So they essentially told her like, you have to give this baby up for adoption or you can't stay here. So she felt like she had no option. And so it's been a lifetime of pain for her. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/tExgVbjLnQ9sOuRzYQsSQ9q4pQ_uXUHKeOPuUZNCH2zYs43r0DaF4uPW786FXmXhG5jJ3jzEHexaX2W54SfE0ypJANI?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=32.81 (00:32)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members? I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Shelby who called me from Valrico, Florida due East of Tampa for Shelby, growing up as a Korean adoptee, left her feeling othered as she didn't quite fit into her community and the Korean school, her parents tried to raise her in. Wouldn't accept her either on a heritage trip to her home country. She experienced the heavy emotion of reunion with her birth mother, the challenge of remaining a secret and witnessed the frustrations of her brother who couldn't locate his biological family. Shelby also gained a real compassion for her adopted mother who's reasons for adopting brought Shelby and her mother closer together. This is Shelby. When I spoke to Shelby. She was frantically packing and planning for a very special trip to New York with her adopted mother. She started off telling me about her adoption that originated overseas. Shelby (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/tExgVbjLnQ9sOuRzYQsSQ9q4pQ_uXUHKeOPuUZNCH2zYs43r0DaF4uPW786FXmXhG5jJ3jzEHexaX2W54SfE0ypJANI?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=107.84 (01:47)): Well, I was adopted from South Korea when I was almost one year old and I flew over on a plane to an airport in DC. And my parents picked me up at the airport and that's where I met him for the first time. Um, my mom always tells me that the first time she held me, I just looked straight into her eyes and she, um, felt like I was asking her, are you my new mother? Now? She always gets emotional when she tells that story. And I do too. Um, I do feel like I bonded really quickly with her. I don't remember, but I just felt my life. I felt so close to my adopted mom. Um, and then when I was put into my dad's arms, I took one look at him and I immediately cried because he had glasses, blue eyes, very pale skin, that eighties moustache. So it took me a bit of time to warm up to him, but he did take off a few weeks of work, uh, so that he could connect with me and for me to become comfortable with him, that was good that he was able to do that. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/tExgVbjLnQ9sOuRzYQsSQ9q4pQ_uXUHKeOPuUZNCH2zYs43r0DaF4uPW786FXmXhG5jJ3jzEHexaX2W54SfE0ypJANI?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=179.02 (02:59)): The family lived right here near me in silver spring, Maryland until she was five years old. When they moved to North Carolina,...
My guest asked that I maintain her anonymity, so I’ll refer to her as Nina. She shared her story growing up with dedicated parents who embraced her challenges and gave her the foundational support she needed. Her birth father found her through a reunification registry and while he has his own struggles, he’s a very dear friend to Nina. However, her birth mother started down the path of secondary rejection, won’t take responsibility for not getting Nina pre-natal care, and is overzealous with her dedication to her religion, driving a wedge between Nina and the woman. This is Nina’s journey. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/105-i-call-her-incubator/ (105 – I Call Her Incubator) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Nina (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/RKVpngIHvWzmSOWLebwZoeDmbGa_2RCMOqNZjkQGB7V_YjvULzE9H_ADxsaU7VFbnfqJXUntiugF1c6UMbaf20wMtlA?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=3.68 (00:03)): You know, my relationship with my birth mother is nonexistent anymore. I kind of hate calling her birth mother. I usually call her incubator because, you know, she did, that's all she did for me. That's all she's ever done for me. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/RKVpngIHvWzmSOWLebwZoeDmbGa_2RCMOqNZjkQGB7V_YjvULzE9H_ADxsaU7VFbnfqJXUntiugF1c6UMbaf20wMtlA?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=22.79 (00:22)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/RKVpngIHvWzmSOWLebwZoeDmbGa_2RCMOqNZjkQGB7V_YjvULzE9H_ADxsaU7VFbnfqJXUntiugF1c6UMbaf20wMtlA?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=34.16 (00:34)): This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis. And my guest today asked that I maintain her anonymity. So I'll refer to her as Nina. She shared her story growing up with dedicated parents who embraced her challenges and gave her the foundational support. She needed. Her birth father found her through a reunification registry. And while he has his own struggles, he's a very dear friend to Nina. However, her birth mother started down the path of secondary rejection. Won't take responsibility for not getting Nina prenatal care and is overzealous with her dedication to her religion. All of which has driven a wedge between Nina and the woman. This is Nina's journey life for Nina was idyllic as an adoptee. She was told she was adopted and her adopted parents never kept it. A secret. Nina told me she still has a Sesame street book called Susan and Gordon adopt a baby in which big bird asks the couple questions about adoption and what it means. She likened her life to the book because she would ask questions. They would be answered and life would go on. Everything was just fine until Nina was 12 years old, Nina (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/RKVpngIHvWzmSOWLebwZoeDmbGa_2RCMOqNZjkQGB7V_YjvULzE9H_ADxsaU7VFbnfqJXUntiugF1c6UMbaf20wMtlA?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=117.5 (01:57)): But I know that they did start taking me to the therapist after a bit, because I started to having these nightmares that, um, I was being abducted by my birth parents in, um, in a white van. And, uh, you know, one of those, uh, one of those creepy white vans we all talk about. So, you know, the windowless white van came and took me. So, um, I don't where that trope came into my mind at eight years old, but it did everything. Everything was completely idyllic until my adoptive father died. Um, when I was 12, suddenly from a heart attack Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/RKVpngIHvWzmSOWLebwZoeDmbGa_2RCMOqNZjkQGB7V_YjvULzE9H_ADxsaU7VFbnfqJXUntiugF1c6UMbaf20wMtlA?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=158.66 (02:38)): Quickly, before you get to the, to your father, did the, did the therapy help? Nina (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/RKVpngIHvWzmSOWLebwZoeDmbGa_2RCMOqNZjkQGB7V_YjvULzE9H_ADxsaU7VFbnfqJXUntiugF1c6UMbaf20wMtlA?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=165.14 (02:45)): Um, you know, the therapy...
Karen is from Stratford, Ontario, Canada. She shares her story of growing up a woman of color who stood out in her family and community. Locating her birth mother she found little connection and a bit of tension, but ultimately she wants to keep the relationship going. That’s partially because her paternal reunion, while fulfilling in the most heartwarming ways, was sadly too brief. This is Karen’s journey. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/104-youre-obviously-one-of-us/ (104 – You’re Obviously One Of Us) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Karen (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ST0MkOBe-EmCpBOoRNC5Iv0YfLLGly_bU2VPB8zYppc6BHOdg1GyUemqV-90u8k0RclR2QlQNwTE2CBkG5D2XhDUbBs?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=4.22 (00:04)): I was so sad at the time. I wish that that had been possible just because of everything I had been through as a kid and never feeling like I belonged and realizing that there had been a possibility that I could have been raised by him that he wanted to, but wasn't given an option. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ST0MkOBe-EmCpBOoRNC5Iv0YfLLGly_bU2VPB8zYppc6BHOdg1GyUemqV-90u8k0RclR2QlQNwTE2CBkG5D2XhDUbBs?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=32.84 (00:32)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ST0MkOBe-EmCpBOoRNC5Iv0YfLLGly_bU2VPB8zYppc6BHOdg1GyUemqV-90u8k0RclR2QlQNwTE2CBkG5D2XhDUbBs?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=44.81 (00:44)): Who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members? I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Karen. I spoke with her from Stratford, Ontario, Canada. She shares her story of growing up a woman of color who stood out in her family and community locating her birth mother. She found little connection and a bit of tension, but ultimately she wants to keep the relationship going. That's partially because her paternal reunion while fulfilling in the most heartwarming ways was sadly too brief. This is Karen's journey. Karen opened by saying how helpful the show has been for understanding how other adoptees feel, because it's not often that the subject of our own adoptions comes up. So sometimes the people who are closest to us don't even know we're adoptees. The night before our interview, she was sitting around a campfire on the beach where she told someone she's known for 10 years, that she was going to be interviewed the next day about her adoption, her friend, remarked, that she didn't even know that fact about Karen. I hope you'll forgive the raspiness of Karen's voice. Apparently it was a great time around the campfire that night. Karen shared that she was born in Toronto, Canada and adopted as an infant after spending time with two different foster families in the Toronto newspaper. In the 1960s and seventies, there was a column called today's child, which listed children for adoption, who were considered less desirable for adoption to use Karen's words. These children were older, were not white, or maybe had some sort of disability. Karen (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ST0MkOBe-EmCpBOoRNC5Iv0YfLLGly_bU2VPB8zYppc6BHOdg1GyUemqV-90u8k0RclR2QlQNwTE2CBkG5D2XhDUbBs?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=150.77 (02:30)): I was one of those children. And, um, I have a copy of that, that article. So there's picture of me when I'm nine months old and then they write a description about me. And it's funny, I just went over it again this morning. And the description that they wrote about me then is still the same for me now, Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ST0MkOBe-EmCpBOoRNC5Iv0YfLLGly_bU2VPB8zYppc6BHOdg1GyUemqV-90u8k0RclR2QlQNwTE2CBkG5D2XhDUbBs?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=171.08 (02:51)): Really it was an accurate depiction of who your personality is, and isn't that fascinating to read that it really is. Karen...
Diane called me from St. Petersburg, Florida, but her’s is a story that originated in Germany. Diane tells the story of her parents wanting to form a family with her, but her grandmother frequently talking about her adoption such that no one could ever move on. On a trip back to Germany, Diane stood in the orphanage where her story originated, but answers to her questions were not to be had. It turned out that her birth father was her first connection, and he led her back to her birth mother’s family. Diane met her birth mother’s widower who said her mother always searched for her, and made him promise to accept her if Diane were ever found. This is Diane’s journey The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/103-fixing-the-fates/ (103 – Fixing The Fates) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/_0-tTafRguEpH547NpPpSHidwHfvweGlB5pSWhYc93mxUtZZy7sOwcg3UGSlAKvSM8CYSQvuOQykaSkJbFpfAK3g0K0?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=0.07 (00:00)): Hey there. I just wanted to take a sec to let you know that I took time to write a book about my own adoption journey. It's called, who am I really? Of course, go to who am I really? podcast.com and click shop. I hope to make it to your reading list. Okay, here's this week's show. Diane (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/_0-tTafRguEpH547NpPpSHidwHfvweGlB5pSWhYc93mxUtZZy7sOwcg3UGSlAKvSM8CYSQvuOQykaSkJbFpfAK3g0K0?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=22.15 (00:22)): He said, I've always wanted to meet you. She told me all about you. She told me that she was going to look for you and she did look for you that for the rest of her life she tried to find you and they couldn't. They wouldn't. They wouldn't let her have the records and he said during the 50s when they were courting, she had made him promise. She told him about me before they were married and she'd made him promise to be my father if she ever found me. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/_0-tTafRguEpH547NpPpSHidwHfvweGlB5pSWhYc93mxUtZZy7sOwcg3UGSlAKvSM8CYSQvuOQykaSkJbFpfAK3g0K0?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=55.65 (00:55)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/_0-tTafRguEpH547NpPpSHidwHfvweGlB5pSWhYc93mxUtZZy7sOwcg3UGSlAKvSM8CYSQvuOQykaSkJbFpfAK3g0K0?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=62.69 (01:02)): Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and today you're going to meet Diane. She called me from st Petersburg, Florida, but hers is a story that originated in Germany. Diane tells the story of her parents wanting to form a family with her, but her grandmother frequently talking about her adoption such that no one could ever move on. On a trip back to Germany Diane stood in the orphanage where her story originated, but answers to her questions were not to be had. Diane met her birth mother's widower who said her mother always searched for her and made him promise to accept her. If Diane were ever found. This is Diane's journey. Diane was an only child in her adopted family in Philadelphia. She says her adoptive mother was related to the people who ran the orphanage she came from in Germany. Diane (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/_0-tTafRguEpH547NpPpSHidwHfvweGlB5pSWhYc93mxUtZZy7sOwcg3UGSlAKvSM8CYSQvuOQykaSkJbFpfAK3g0K0?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=128.91 (02:08)): I had a kind of six degrees of separation kind of experience because my parents, my adoptive parents in Philadelphia were related to the person who ran the orphanage in Germany. Um, so what had happened was I was surrendered in a German orphanage at age one. Um, and prior to that I was in what's called a kinder home. So it's a children's home, but the mother, the biological mother can still visit you there. None of this I was aware of, but what I was aware of from a very early age and all along was that I was adopted and was that I was in a German orphanage
Breanna learned that she was fostered then adopted but for financial gain and she described her home as a hostile environment. Her adopted mother was abusive, and Breanna ultimately ran away from home to the military. But before bootcamp she contacted her birth mother, and learned the hard truth about her conception. In reunion, she was forced to watch her birth father’s judgment for his actions. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/102-its-always-maybe/ (102 – It’s Always Maybe) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Breanna (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/gCp8NHpfktv-TCqezrN49J0XPmPNu5uQpHktXXL3X8r7Hv5gqtD5g3Pyx2Hyyy-uJhUuyBeP92u6J6BRHgRL3vzwlEs?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=5.77 (00:05)): She feels really guilty and I think that's why she doesn't want me to hate her. She thinks that I should hate her and I don't hate her. It does make me angry now that like you're wasting time. We could be like, we could be going forward, but like I don't hate you for giving me up like I really don't hate her. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/gCp8NHpfktv-TCqezrN49J0XPmPNu5uQpHktXXL3X8r7Hv5gqtD5g3Pyx2Hyyy-uJhUuyBeP92u6J6BRHgRL3vzwlEs?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=32.79 (00:32)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/gCp8NHpfktv-TCqezrN49J0XPmPNu5uQpHktXXL3X8r7Hv5gqtD5g3Pyx2Hyyy-uJhUuyBeP92u6J6BRHgRL3vzwlEs?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=53.65 (00:53)): I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Breanna who called me from Jacksonville, North Carolina. Breanna learned that she was fostered then adopted but for financial gain. Her adopted mother was abusive and Breanna ultimately ran away from home to the military, but before bootcamp she contacted her birth mother and learned the hard truth about her conception in reunion. She was forced to watch her birth father's judgment for his actions. This is Breanna's journey. The weekend I spoke to Breanna. She was teaching her six year old daughter to ride her bicycle. When she spoke of her parents, she said they never really talked about adoption, but she remembers a time when she was six years old at church when her status as an adoptee stood out in her mind. Breanna (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/gCp8NHpfktv-TCqezrN49J0XPmPNu5uQpHktXXL3X8r7Hv5gqtD5g3Pyx2Hyyy-uJhUuyBeP92u6J6BRHgRL3vzwlEs?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=101.62 (01:41)): When we joined the church, they introduced themselves and they said, we adopted four kids and we have two of our own. So they didn't talk about it and they didn't really want to talk about it. My dad was more like, Oh, we're your parents we raised you and are the ones who who've taken care of you, you know? So we left it alone. It wasn't like a topic. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/gCp8NHpfktv-TCqezrN49J0XPmPNu5uQpHktXXL3X8r7Hv5gqtD5g3Pyx2Hyyy-uJhUuyBeP92u6J6BRHgRL3vzwlEs?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=122.88 (02:02)): Breanna's siblings who were biological to her parents were many years older than the adoptees in their home. You heard Breanna say she has four adopted siblings. Breanna is in the middle of the adoptees. They were all foster children. First adoptees who didn't know their own stories. Her parents had adoption folders for every child, which Breanna found in their garage. They had pictures and photo books for every child. She learned that some of her adopted siblings were children of drug addicted parents. Breanna located everyone's folder except her own, which was frustrating. She talks a bit about why her parents fostered them. First Breanna (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/gCp8NHpfktv-TCqezrN49J0XPmPNu5uQpHktXXL3X8r7Hv5gqtD5g3Pyx2Hyyy-uJhUuyBeP92u6J6BRHgRL3vzwlEs?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=163.03 (02:43)): they said that they adopted us because they needed money and there was money to foster care and they got
In Debby’s home adoption was an open topic because she was fostered by her grandparents and adopted by their daughter. Unfortunately, she wasn’t welcome as an adoptee by her adopted father and she and her family faced abuse by her stepfather. In reunion Debby found out her birth parents tried to stay together and she has full blood siblings. But her biological father has tried to deny she is his, even though she and the rest of the family know their truth.The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/101-this-is-about-everybody/ (101 – This Is About Everybody) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Debby (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/GlUQfl9zd3uYhOhszLDWtinTq2SoM5UZnF_OmJPJs7FQ7JnA_CMLWXMuejTlYNZjajTf1iScm5tgc9uwW0EbSrawl10?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=3.07 (00:03)): If someone had said, maybe you should wait and meet your mother first. I would have, but I didn't know and it's just that my birth mother had never, ever wanted to give me up, had lived with this and buried it for so long that she should have had the op the first opportunity. Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/GlUQfl9zd3uYhOhszLDWtinTq2SoM5UZnF_OmJPJs7FQ7JnA_CMLWXMuejTlYNZjajTf1iScm5tgc9uwW0EbSrawl10?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=35.88 (00:35)): Am I? Who am I? Who am I? Hello, who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Debby who called me from central Pennsylvania. In her home adoption was an open topic because she was fostered and adopted by the same family. Unfortunately, she wasn't welcome as an adoptee by her adopted father and she and her family faced abuse by her stepfather. In reunion Debby found out her birth parents tried to stay together and she has full blood siblings, but her biological father has tried to deny she is his even though she and the rest of the family know the truth. This is Debby's journey. Debby was born in Baltimore County, Maryland later adopted into a family with a biological son, five years, her senior, but her adopted mother had a unique relation to Debby and the adoption process. Debby (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/GlUQfl9zd3uYhOhszLDWtinTq2SoM5UZnF_OmJPJs7FQ7JnA_CMLWXMuejTlYNZjajTf1iScm5tgc9uwW0EbSrawl10?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=104.25 (01:44)): Her parents actually were my foster parents. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/GlUQfl9zd3uYhOhszLDWtinTq2SoM5UZnF_OmJPJs7FQ7JnA_CMLWXMuejTlYNZjajTf1iScm5tgc9uwW0EbSrawl10?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=109.42 (01:49)): Oh really? That's really interesting. Debby (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/GlUQfl9zd3uYhOhszLDWtinTq2SoM5UZnF_OmJPJs7FQ7JnA_CMLWXMuejTlYNZjajTf1iScm5tgc9uwW0EbSrawl10?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=112 (01:52)): Yeah. I was taken to them at three days old and I was there until I was about to, but they had, their daughter had already decided that she wanted to adopt, she had some health issues and was having trouble conceiving again. So, um, I had, I was born with crossed eyes or a lazy eye and whatever you want to call it. And so the social workers felt that I probably was not going to be adoptable because admir County wasn't going to pay for that surgery. But, um, so she decided to adopt me and um, then they had it corrected. But so adoption was a pretty normal thing because my grandparents were foster parents, so kids came and went. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/GlUQfl9zd3uYhOhszLDWtinTq2SoM5UZnF_OmJPJs7FQ7JnA_CMLWXMuejTlYNZjajTf1iScm5tgc9uwW0EbSrawl10?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=165.32 (02:45)): Debby's parents went on to have another son. So she is sandwiched in the middle of two biological boys in her family. She told me her father was a great dad to them taking them fishing and setting up those old school army men in mock wars. But she, and he never bonded because he never wanted to adopt the child. They never really did anything together. Debby...
Haley Radke, Host/Producer of the Adoptees On podcast is my special guest for this special 100th episode! Haley shared her story of gaining access to her open adoption record in Canada when she was 18 and quickly connecting with her first mother via email. They met soon after, but that rapid connection at Haley’s young age had its challenges. After secondary rejection, she was much more cautious with her reunion with her birth father. Hard work in therapy saw them through to a good place and inspired her offer therapeutic information for free through her own podcast that I’m sure you know. This is Haley’s journey. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/100-purely-loving-intentions/ (100 – Purely Loving Intentions) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Haley (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/XJAScD1rLLWqJsv0-R9Q5f7dmP9XVeNiYvREJFGLhh6a3OeGpBko3wD_LrJX_eTjgLEPXG8JeHXU9Q8wK2FgTA1UkJg?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=3.32 (00:03)): But you're right in the moment. I mean, I didn't really have another choice but to just show her and go through it with her and I, I mean I was so young who knew that this was like a trauma, you know, and I'm like bringing up horrible memories from the past. Right? It's just never occurred to me. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/XJAScD1rLLWqJsv0-R9Q5f7dmP9XVeNiYvREJFGLhh6a3OeGpBko3wD_LrJX_eTjgLEPXG8JeHXU9Q8wK2FgTA1UkJg?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=27.6 (00:27)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/XJAScD1rLLWqJsv0-R9Q5f7dmP9XVeNiYvREJFGLhh6a3OeGpBko3wD_LrJX_eTjgLEPXG8JeHXU9Q8wK2FgTA1UkJg?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=34.58 (00:34)): Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Haley. She called me via Skype from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Haley shared her story of gaining access to her adoption record in Canada when she was 18 and quickly connecting with her birth mother via email they met soon after. But that rapid connection at Haley's young age had its challenges after secondary rejection. She was much more cautious with her reunion with her birth father, hard work in therapy, solve them through to a good place and inspired her to offer therapeutic information for free through her own podcast. That. I'm sure you know this is Haley's journey. I'm not even going to play that game with you where I interview the person and I later reveal their secret identity. My guest for this very special 100th episode of who am I really is one of my fellow adoption podcasters, Haley Radke, host of Adoptees On and someone we all appreciate for her work to bring adoption stories and her healing series to podcasting. Haley told me she was adopted as an infant into the home of elementary school teachers in a remote Northern Mennonite community called LA Crete. Haley (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/XJAScD1rLLWqJsv0-R9Q5f7dmP9XVeNiYvREJFGLhh6a3OeGpBko3wD_LrJX_eTjgLEPXG8JeHXU9Q8wK2FgTA1UkJg?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=121.23 (02:01)): Most people spoke low German, which is a dialect very close to German. It's just a little different. So my, my parents were like the "English speaking" people. I'm putting that in quotation marks and everyone else was Mennonite. So already there was a other factor and I only knew one other person growing up that was adopted and in fact, fairly recently I got to have a conversation with her about those experiences growing up, adopted in this very small town. And our stories are so different because I had no idea who my birth parents were and I really wondered mostly about my mother. Um, but she had no idea either, but everyone around her knew. So we had very opposing experiences growing up in La Crete, which looking back on that now is just so interesting to me. How, how challenging it was for both of us in different ways. Damon...
Joseph is a really outdoorsy guy who lives in Edmonds, Washington, about 30 minutes north of Seattle. He likes mountain biking, trail running, camping and skiing. Joseph grew up in a family of several children, some biological, and one other adoptee you might already know. He told me that he never could have pinpointed what it was, but he always seemed to be searching for something. Joseph started his journey searching for answers from his biological mother about his adoption. Instead he found mystery surrounding her life, unanswered questions and a connection to his brother that means the most to him out of everything. This is Joseph’s journey. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/099-we-were-both-missing-something-in-our-lives/ (099 – We Were Both Missing Something In Our Lives) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Joseph (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/R_AJt6tZ6kp9AENXsdjJ80LphVYIiAboZF3jseoKIfWHYeKYeRjS4lzAT-wAtBvyTy8jPEQk2MdhGRLBh-g9RLEgGSI?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=3.56 (00:03)): I'm not going to fault her. I mean I was adopted by by great parents and they've had a good family life. I've had a good life, but I was, it was hard to hear that the things behind my adoption were because of her addiction possibly. I guess the first thing that came to my mind was like I was not her priority. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/R_AJt6tZ6kp9AENXsdjJ80LphVYIiAboZF3jseoKIfWHYeKYeRjS4lzAT-wAtBvyTy8jPEQk2MdhGRLBh-g9RLEgGSI?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=32.97 (00:32)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Joseph. He called me from Washington state. Joseph grew up in a family of several children, some biological and one other adoptee. You might already know. He told me that he never could have pinpointed what it was, but he always seemed to be searching for something. He started his journey searching for answers from his biological mother. Instead, he found mystery surrounding her life unanswered questions and a connection to his brother. That means the most to him out of everything. This is Joseph's journey. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/R_AJt6tZ6kp9AENXsdjJ80LphVYIiAboZF3jseoKIfWHYeKYeRjS4lzAT-wAtBvyTy8jPEQk2MdhGRLBh-g9RLEgGSI?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=90.77 (01:30)): Joseph is a really outdoorsy guy who lives in Edmonds, Washington, about 30 minutes North of Seattle. He likes mountain biking trail running, camping and skiing, reflecting on his childhood. Joseph said his was pretty normal for the most part. He was adopted at almost two years old and they lived in central Washington. It was a middle class upbringing with five children in the family. His father was a civil engineer, so their family moved around occasionally for him to take jobs in public works. I asked him about his memory of being adopted at the age of two years old. I was going to ask you about whether you remembered a transition at two at all, if you had any sort of stark memory or any even general memory of just a transition of, of scenes. Like one minute you're in one place and even at two year old, two years old, you recognize like, Hey, this is a different place. Joseph (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/R_AJt6tZ6kp9AENXsdjJ80LphVYIiAboZF3jseoKIfWHYeKYeRjS4lzAT-wAtBvyTy8jPEQk2MdhGRLBh-g9RLEgGSI?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=148.82 (02:28)): What I can remember I have one memory, uh, prior to living with my adopted family and, and that was confirmed by my mom when I told her. I said, you know, I would have, I started having this reoccurring dream, which was me and this other girl playing with a red ball. And we were just bouncing it back and forth to each and for some reason I don't, I don't know how it happened, but when the ball came back to me, it hit me in the face. Damon...
Dr. Julie Lopez lives and works in Washington, D.C. Julie’s early childhood was happy at home, but it was her circle of friends that made her question just what was wrong with being adopted? When she graduated college, her need for information, for professional reasons, made her stumble across an old document she’d seen before, which impulsively steered her down the path toward reunion. Along hat road she found trauma that she was already prepared to handle and disappointment that she’s also thankful for because the whole experience keeps her grounded. Dr. Lopez runs the Viva Center – https://www.vivapartnership.com/ You can find her book: “https://www.amazon.com/Live-Empowered-Rewire-Implicit-Business/dp/1544513909/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=dr+julie+lope+live+empowered&qid=1567749825&s=gateway&sr=8-1-spell (Live Empowered: Rewire Your Brain’s Implicit Memory To Thrive In Business, Love, and Life)“ The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/098-trained-in-trauma/ (098 – Trained In Trauma) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Julie (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/K-j94L_-lSlDgHVJwwg-QopINRRTzjRgEt2yT7xPwsCc8RYjeC-elOUcSWQuDRaG9QAvyik3F5R0vLB1aLyQ8pb1Zow?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=5.67 (00:05)): Okay. I think behind every adoption there's usually trauma and then there is the just families don't give up children without some kind of distress and circumstance. You know, it goes against human nature. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/K-j94L_-lSlDgHVJwwg-QopINRRTzjRgEt2yT7xPwsCc8RYjeC-elOUcSWQuDRaG9QAvyik3F5R0vLB1aLyQ8pb1Zow?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=28.16 (00:28)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Julie. She lives in Washington D C Julie's early childhood was happy at home, but it was her circle of friends that made her question just what was wrong with being adopted. When she graduated college her need for information, for professional reasons made her stumble across an old document she'd seen before which impulsively steered her down the path toward reunion along that road, she found trauma that she was already prepared to handle and disappointment that she's also thankful for. This is Julie's journey. Julie grew up in McLean, Virginia. She said her parents were very loving people who were somewhat open about her adoption from Catholic charities. Julie was the oldest child in their house, followed by a younger sister, adopted from San Antonio, Texas. A few years later, her parents were approved for a third international adoption from Mexico when her mother got pregnant. Julie (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/K-j94L_-lSlDgHVJwwg-QopINRRTzjRgEt2yT7xPwsCc8RYjeC-elOUcSWQuDRaG9QAvyik3F5R0vLB1aLyQ8pb1Zow?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=108.35 (01:48)): And I remembered her asking me, cause at that point I was seven, you know what, what should, what would I like to have happen? And she was pregnant, I'm going to have a child. And we all knew, you know, the adoption had gone through and what should we do. And I said, Oh you know what a both, but they didn't end up adopting the child from Mexico. And then my parents had another biological child two years after that. So there were four of us, two adopted and then a pretty big gap. And then two more children that were biologically connected to my adoptive parents. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/K-j94L_-lSlDgHVJwwg-QopINRRTzjRgEt2yT7xPwsCc8RYjeC-elOUcSWQuDRaG9QAvyik3F5R0vLB1aLyQ8pb1Zow?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=146.08 (02:26)): So in their home there were two older adopted girls, a five year gap, then two younger boys who were biological to her parents. That age differential can be challenging. But Julie said she was still close with her younger brothers, almost like a second mother to them while navigating...
Singer Song writer Jenni Alpert, commonly referred to by her birth name, Cami had a wonderful life supported by her adoptive parents as she pursued the performing arts. After her adoptive father passed away, she learned that her biological mother had too. Her maternal connections went well over time, but her paternal side remained a mystery. Locating her birth father was one thing… doing reconnaissance, ensuring her safety, and tapping into over a decade of her various volunteer experiences with people who’s lives were in the streets was something different. In their story you’ll hear the dedication of a daughter who found her birth father down and out, accepted him as he was , and worked hard to find a pathway for them to reunite and share their love of music. This is Jenni’s journey. Photo:Cami (aka Jenni Alpert) and her birth father Don Photo credit: Jeff Fasano Here’s a link to the news story I referenced: https://www.nbcnews.com/nightly-news/video/father-and-daughter-duo-reunited-in-song-62059077604 The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/097-the-safe-space-thats-dons-place/ (096 – The Safe Space That’s Don’s Place) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/Ol_0fSvS6gCmtDqQg9YHljJdGvF8fU5Gn-5W0Aejyk28Zl42sh7X2ZNQtLm9QhLdbUGSSKOlWhaYNAH4K8_IVf1i93s?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=10.4 (00:10)): [inaudible] Cami (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/Ol_0fSvS6gCmtDqQg9YHljJdGvF8fU5Gn-5W0Aejyk28Zl42sh7X2ZNQtLm9QhLdbUGSSKOlWhaYNAH4K8_IVf1i93s?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=10.93 (00:10)): [Show you good love in so you know you're mine. one of these days it wouldn't be long. all of the shadow you will be gone. Want you to see deep in my heart. Show you the truth from the start? one of these days it wouldn't be long. (song) ] Cami-Jenni (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/Ol_0fSvS6gCmtDqQg9YHljJdGvF8fU5Gn-5W0Aejyk28Zl42sh7X2ZNQtLm9QhLdbUGSSKOlWhaYNAH4K8_IVf1i93s?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=68.4 (01:08)): Okay. For all of the times that I worked with those that were in the prison system, it was like everything I had ever done, everything I had ever saw. All of a sudden now it made sense to me. Now I was staring at my birth father who had encompassed all these little details in his own very life, but he was a person and he was a musician and it was just really thrilling. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/Ol_0fSvS6gCmtDqQg9YHljJdGvF8fU5Gn-5W0Aejyk28Zl42sh7X2ZNQtLm9QhLdbUGSSKOlWhaYNAH4K8_IVf1i93s?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=113.38 (01:53)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/Ol_0fSvS6gCmtDqQg9YHljJdGvF8fU5Gn-5W0Aejyk28Zl42sh7X2ZNQtLm9QhLdbUGSSKOlWhaYNAH4K8_IVf1i93s?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=120.59 (02:00)): Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is singer songwriter Jenni Alpert, commonly referred to by her birth name Cami. The song you just heard is called one of these days. Jenni had a wonderful life supported by her adoptive parents as she pursued the performing arts after her adoptive father passed away. She learned that her biological mother had to locating her birth father was one thing. Ensuring her safety and tapping into over a decade of her various volunteer experiences was something different. You will hear the dedication of a daughter who found her birth father down and out, accepted him as he was, and worked hard to find a pathway for them to reunite and share their love of music. This is Jenni's journey. I was at home one night when my wife Michele called me to the television to hear an incredible news story of a woman who found her biological father and he was homeless. I was so intrigued. I immediately found Jenni online and invited her to be my guest and she agreed. Jenni's life started out in foster care and
Laura called me via Skype, would you believe, from Falkirk Scotland. Laura told the story of her childhood knowledge that she might have siblings out in the world, and her quest to meet them. When she met her biological mother things started slowly as Laura tested the woman to make sure she wasn’t going to leave again — and she didn’t — then she did. Laura’s developed a great connection with her paternal sister, even though Laura never got to meet her biological father. This is Laura’s journey. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/095-i-tested-her-to-see-if-shed-give-up/ (095 – I Tested Her To See If She’d Give Up) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Laura (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ctBwuR26vRaTIDMiDK7B7Km1deg79H83p-djM8PxK9xNLyW3_e6Rqjqq-LOFdxm_lR2AuyxewZcCrjJsk9SNs2K96FU?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3.52 (00:03)): Yeah, Laura (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ctBwuR26vRaTIDMiDK7B7Km1deg79H83p-djM8PxK9xNLyW3_e6Rqjqq-LOFdxm_lR2AuyxewZcCrjJsk9SNs2K96FU?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3.86 (00:03)): That would see her call and she would text me and I just, I couldn't, I didn't feel able to respond. I was too frightened to answer and to go into, I don't know why I was maybe texting her, maybe just to see if she would give up on me, but she doesn't. intro (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ctBwuR26vRaTIDMiDK7B7Km1deg79H83p-djM8PxK9xNLyW3_e6Rqjqq-LOFdxm_lR2AuyxewZcCrjJsk9SNs2K96FU?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=24.24 (00:24)): Who am I? Who am I? Who intro (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ctBwuR26vRaTIDMiDK7B7Km1deg79H83p-djM8PxK9xNLyW3_e6Rqjqq-LOFdxm_lR2AuyxewZcCrjJsk9SNs2K96FU?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=27.39 (00:27)): am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ctBwuR26vRaTIDMiDK7B7Km1deg79H83p-djM8PxK9xNLyW3_e6Rqjqq-LOFdxm_lR2AuyxewZcCrjJsk9SNs2K96FU?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=31.45 (00:31)): Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Laura. She called me via Skype. Would you believe from fallkirk, Scotland. Laura told me the story of her childhood knowledge that she might have siblings out in the world and her quest to meet them when she met her biological mother. Things started out slowly as Laura tested the woman to make sure she wasn't going to leave again and she didn't. Then she did. Laura developed a great connection with her paternal sister even though Laura never got to meet her biological father. This is Laura's journey. If you heard last week show with Barry, you're probably wondering what's up with all of these guests from Scotland all of a sudden, I promise you it was purely coincidence that Laura's story followed his. Laura made time to speak with me after running two races that morning, uh, 5k and a 10K. so as we settled into her recovery time, I asked Laura to take me back to the beginning of her journey, which started in Alloa Clackmannanshire. And yes, I really wanted to say Clapman Shire. Laura (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ctBwuR26vRaTIDMiDK7B7Km1deg79H83p-djM8PxK9xNLyW3_e6Rqjqq-LOFdxm_lR2AuyxewZcCrjJsk9SNs2K96FU?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=108.58 (01:48)): Well, I feel like I approach my own story with caution because so much of it is only known from the social work records that I have and from the stories that my adoptive parents told me. Um, from what I know, my parents, who I was born to, were and our relationship for our own nine months. And that came to an abrupt end upon the discovery of my mom being pregnant with me. And I think she only discovered that pregnancy at around five months. Then so quietly, wow. My parents worked in the hotel trade. My mum was a training trainee chef and my dad was a waiter and when I was born, my mother was aged 20 and my dad was 33 so she was quite young. And my dad, my dad was fairly young, but he was in...
Barry always knew he was adopted, but before he ever launched a search, he was found by his older sister. He tells the story of meeting her, and subsequently meeting his birth mother, both of whom welcomed him into their hearts. Hearing stories about why he was placed for adoption, Barry learned that he may have been lucky to escape his birth parents, but his younger siblings were not. This is Barry’s journey. Read Full Transcript Barry: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/6WGxHEJHB0M1rHbEyn3McXGvuDj0_fbrrtZl1UXqK8A5pj-ZwhidQApzQwhpW0svwgDsjcdwHgsZJKHFoqGAp7Gc-IE?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=0.84 (00:00) I decided at that point, prior to going in to meet her, at some point I will just call her mom. So I said it as I was leaving and I don’t think she caught it. So she, you know, we had to be chat at the front door and blah blah blah. And then I went to give her a hug and I said, I’ll see you later mom. And she looked up at me and she staggered a little bit and she kinda questioned the whole thing by just saying, mum said, well you kind of gave birth to me that kinda qualifies you. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/6WGxHEJHB0M1rHbEyn3McXGvuDj0_fbrrtZl1UXqK8A5pj-ZwhidQApzQwhpW0svwgDsjcdwHgsZJKHFoqGAp7Gc-IE?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.8 (00:35) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/6WGxHEJHB0M1rHbEyn3McXGvuDj0_fbrrtZl1UXqK8A5pj-ZwhidQApzQwhpW0svwgDsjcdwHgsZJKHFoqGAp7Gc-IE?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.2 (00:47) This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Barry. I spoke with him from just outside of Edinburgh, Scotland via Skype. Barry always knew he was adopted, but just before he ever launched the search he was found by his older sister. He tells the story of meeting her and subsequently meeting his birth mother, both of whom welcomed him into their hearts. Hearing stories about why he was placed for adoption, He learned that he may have been lucky to escape his birth parents, but his younger siblings were not. This is Barry’s journey. Barry told me he had a middle class upbringing with his father who was in construction and his mother who was a semi retired school teacher, he grew up in a peaceful, quiet little village south of Edinburgh. Barry’s mother was unable to bear children, so he and his brother were adopted. Barry: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/6WGxHEJHB0M1rHbEyn3McXGvuDj0_fbrrtZl1UXqK8A5pj-ZwhidQApzQwhpW0svwgDsjcdwHgsZJKHFoqGAp7Gc-IE?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=106.99 (01:46) Just the two of us. I mean, we’re, we’re pretty much chalk and cheese completely. Other than the fact we grew up in the same place, um, there’s very little in common....
After 52 years in adoption, Mary never had a desire to locate her birth family. Her feeling was they had given her up, so she didn’t really want to share how well she turned out. Still, Mary obtained her non-identifying information in 1999, to satisfy medical history curiosity. On Christmas eve 2017 she emailed her birth mother who replied within hours, and the two were connected. The only thing left was to reach out to her birth father, who didn’t know she was alive. The post 054 – I Just Want To Sit And Be At Peace appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast. Mary (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/u3tkCT1A-xZd3ns2nGXdmURcwjrRo91-fB1cWqF1fQw0XMJz8M3tqAVjiSlXEa1AnfdNmlcwocRrTa7pizC0sNInU_M?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=4.19 (00:04)): I can tell you that the relationship that I'm developing with her is beyond what I ever thought it would be. And it's almost like I just want to sit and be at peace with this before I open up something else. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/u3tkCT1A-xZd3ns2nGXdmURcwjrRo91-fB1cWqF1fQw0XMJz8M3tqAVjiSlXEa1AnfdNmlcwocRrTa7pizC0sNInU_M?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=28.1 (00:28)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis. And today Mary shares her story. She called me from sunny, South Florida, North Palm beach. Mary says she had one adopted brother growing up and she was interested in the details of his adoption story because her family had nearly no details about her own. At the time we spoke, she had connected with her birth mother and was engaged in a slow methodical process of introducing herself to the woman. Simultaneously her birth mother was encouraging Mary to reach out to her birth father because she heard he was ill. Mary talks about her disenchantment with her adopted and birth names and her hopeful excitement about getting to know her half siblings. One day, this is Mary's journey. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/u3tkCT1A-xZd3ns2nGXdmURcwjrRo91-fB1cWqF1fQw0XMJz8M3tqAVjiSlXEa1AnfdNmlcwocRrTa7pizC0sNInU_M?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=93.92 (01:33)): Mary was born in Cleveland, Ohio adopted into an idyllic childhood days after her birth. She and her brother also adopted were the children of slightly older parents who got married late. Their mother was a social worker who mostly focused on the needs of unwed mothers. Their father was a NASA engineer and they had a great life as children. Mary (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/u3tkCT1A-xZd3ns2nGXdmURcwjrRo91-fB1cWqF1fQw0XMJz8M3tqAVjiSlXEa1AnfdNmlcwocRrTa7pizC0sNInU_M?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=115.82 (01:55)): My parents gave my brother and me the best life that I could've ever expected. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/u3tkCT1A-xZd3ns2nGXdmURcwjrRo91-fB1cWqF1fQw0XMJz8M3tqAVjiSlXEa1AnfdNmlcwocRrTa7pizC0sNInU_M?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=120.68 (02:00)): Really. In what ways? Mary (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/u3tkCT1A-xZd3ns2nGXdmURcwjrRo91-fB1cWqF1fQw0XMJz8M3tqAVjiSlXEa1AnfdNmlcwocRrTa7pizC0sNInU_M?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=122.69 (02:02)): I mean, we did all the things, sports and, um, and dance and both my brother and I play instruments. And I just feel like my parents were so committed to sharing their lives, but also, you know, making, making sure that we were, um, well cared for and loved. And my mom had, um, as a social worker, she had a ton of women, friends that were also in social work and, um, they would have these parties and all of those people, although they were so much older than my brother and me, they always invited us to their parties. Mary (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/u3tkCT1A-xZd3ns2nGXdmURcwjrRo91-fB1cWqF1fQw0XMJz8M3tqAVjiSlXEa1AnfdNmlcwocRrTa7pizC0sNInU_M?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=162.47 (02:42)): And you know, it was, it was so nice because I really felt like my parents' friends really cared about us just as much as my parents did. Damon...
Rebecca always knew she was adopted, but she also recognized that she didn’t quite fit with her adopted family. While she loved them a lot, she noticed physical and personality differences between them. She was taller with a different skin tone than them. She’s an extrovert raised by introverts and she calls herself a circuitous thinker that was raised by linear thinkers. When her own child was born, then got sick, Rebecca thought to herself “I’ve got to find these people” and began her reunion journey. But the laborious process to try to uncover identifying information in Washington, D.C. is closed adoption system seemed to be a daunting task, especially after her child got well. Rebecca says that she wasn’t really looking for her relatives at the time reunion found her. A friend of hers, who is also an adoptee, had extra DNA test that she was sending off to people as part of her own search, so she gave Rebecca a spare test. After reading through her biological connections on AncesteryDNA she was able to find her biological mother’s online identity. Her mother maintained a blog and social media which Rebecca read through feeling like she could have written the content herself. Rebecca has had several revelations about adoption and it’s impact on herself and her family. She says what she gained thru reunion is context about herself, her children, and her adopted family. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/018-what-i-gained-through-reunion-is-context/ (018 – What I Gained Through Reunion Is Context) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Rebecca (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/poBMFXzRbsOGal0Vhsys4kyJ-5c4r4pI0ZZmSiQXOfA9hJF4O3G7nd1HcebOa6Nv2ETq69PBN9XV84w03yvfDNYzkZI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3.74 (00:03)): I don't begrudge her not telling her children either. I mean, how do you, how do you look at your kids and say to a child who's not gonna understand it? I gave away your sister. Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/poBMFXzRbsOGal0Vhsys4kyJ-5c4r4pI0ZZmSiQXOfA9hJF4O3G7nd1HcebOa6Nv2ETq69PBN9XV84w03yvfDNYzkZI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=20.36 (00:20)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/poBMFXzRbsOGal0Vhsys4kyJ-5c4r4pI0ZZmSiQXOfA9hJF4O3G7nd1HcebOa6Nv2ETq69PBN9XV84w03yvfDNYzkZI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=31.75 (00:31)): This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/poBMFXzRbsOGal0Vhsys4kyJ-5c4r4pI0ZZmSiQXOfA9hJF4O3G7nd1HcebOa6Nv2ETq69PBN9XV84w03yvfDNYzkZI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=46.65 (00:46)): Hey, I'm Damon Davis and on the show today I'm joined by Rebecca. She lives in Vermont, but grew up in Washington, D.C, completely comfortable with the fact that she was adopted. In her journey, Rebecca kind of searched here and there for clues about her biological identity, but the process seemed like it was going to be too challenging. But then reunion found her rather unexpectedly through DNA testing. On her journey, Rebecca gained a connection to her biological family and siblings who are just like her and a context for her life that she never had before. We pick up Rebecca's story when she was a child in the nation's Capitol. Rebecca says she always knew that she was adopted and she was given some non identifying information about her closed adoption that she clung to. She said that while she never felt stigmatized, she did notice differences between herself and her family. In some ways they're physically different, but she says she also noticed how they just kind of think differently too. Rebecca (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/poBMFXzRbsOGal0Vhsys4kyJ-5c4r4pI0ZZmSiQXOfA9hJF4O3G7nd1HcebOa6Nv2ETq69PBN9XV84w03yvfDNYzkZI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=108.2 (01:48)): Well, I mean, I didn't look like anyone the most basic level, which, um, you know, people love...
With extra time on her hands, Jennifer used a Search Angel to locate her biological relatives. She connected with her maternal Aunt over Facebook Messenger, simultaneously emailing her birth father using his contact info from LinkedIn. Hoping for a connection to her biological mother, the pendulum swung in the other direction after her mother rejected her. Jennifer recovered almost immediately with a loving connection to her biological father whom she has a natural bond with. I hope you’ll remember David’s amazing story, in episode 15 http://bit.ly/2S8ORvO_015 (“We Wish We Could Have Grown Up Together”). He remembered the day, when he was a boy, when his family brought home a baby girl. Jennifer is David’s lifetime sister. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/025-2/ (025 – I Feel So Lucky, I Got Way More Than I Bargained For) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Jennifer (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/__Y-_hLEKle5tTMKGLVLC2TTBI8AK5ehMu41OrGunrnEUKdcORb-LAkBH6oE9U8KEd8KRytccZQgbB_b1YnpQRxdWGE?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=0.2 (00:00)): I feel so lucky to have formed this connection and you know, I didn't really go into it thinking that I was looking for a mother or a father. I was just looking for information to understand myself better and where I came from, but I got, you know, way more than I bargained for. Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/__Y-_hLEKle5tTMKGLVLC2TTBI8AK5ehMu41OrGunrnEUKdcORb-LAkBH6oE9U8KEd8KRytccZQgbB_b1YnpQRxdWGE?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=27.41 (00:27)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/__Y-_hLEKle5tTMKGLVLC2TTBI8AK5ehMu41OrGunrnEUKdcORb-LAkBH6oE9U8KEd8KRytccZQgbB_b1YnpQRxdWGE?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=38.85 (00:38)): This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and today you're about to meet Jennifer who lives outside of Los Angeles. I'm excited to bring you her story because it's the first time the Who Am I Really podcast brings you the sibling story of another guest. I hope you'll remember the journey of David in episode 15 he said that he remembered the day when he was a boy, when his family brought home a baby girl. David (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/__Y-_hLEKle5tTMKGLVLC2TTBI8AK5ehMu41OrGunrnEUKdcORb-LAkBH6oE9U8KEd8KRytccZQgbB_b1YnpQRxdWGE?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=70.21 (01:10)): My younger sister is Jennifer, and she was three and a half years younger than me and I actually remember going to pick her up. It was just kind of cool. Yeah. I just remember kind of getting out of the car in the parking lot and going somewhere. Next thing we know, I have a sister. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/__Y-_hLEKle5tTMKGLVLC2TTBI8AK5ehMu41OrGunrnEUKdcORb-LAkBH6oE9U8KEd8KRytccZQgbB_b1YnpQRxdWGE?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=82.95 (01:22)): Just like David. Jennifer used a search angel to get started on her journey. The search angels team quickly returned information about both of Jennifer's biological parents, so she sent them both introductory messages. Hoping for a connection to her biological mother, the pendulum swung completely in the other direction after her mother rejected her. However, she was able to recover almost immediately with a loving connection to her biological father who has been connected to her ever since. Jennifer's parents were divorced when she was seven years old. When her curiosity about her history first struck her parents weren't able to give her any concrete details. Her brother David's search wasn't going very well. So Jennifer kind of let it go for a while. Jennifer (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/__Y-_hLEKle5tTMKGLVLC2TTBI8AK5ehMu41OrGunrnEUKdcORb-LAkBH6oE9U8KEd8KRytccZQgbB_b1YnpQRxdWGE?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=126.48 (02:06)): I knew from the time I was really young that I was adopted, so when I was young I wasn't really...
David tried to find his birth mother in the early 90’s in California. He received non-identifying information back then, but it wasn’t much to act on at the time. Later, in 2015, motivated by his wife and his “lifetime sister”, he embarked on an intense collaboration with his adoption search angel Priscilla. Together they discovered his mother’s name and her location. David found an incredible photograph of his mother in the public library’s archives and was hopeful he would meet her soon. Unfortunately, he was too late to meet her in person. But in the end, he gained a full blooded sister that he didn’t even know he had. They get along great, and wish that they had grown up together. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/015-david-b/ (015 – We Wish We Could Have Grown Up Together) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). David (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/y7Qs08W1aCYLx71hSTItbAjBuzka8mJjxFNDlv9U3HFR-_5c397rr2W0ujkHBKboC7GTVqVVlyRokO0AYvFH-0l5nz4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3.78 (00:03)): The very first link I clicked on the screen slowly, you know, was showing an image and it was my mother in her wedding dress. It was the picture from that article. There was a young couple next to me and I just looked over and I said, that's my mom, Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/y7Qs08W1aCYLx71hSTItbAjBuzka8mJjxFNDlv9U3HFR-_5c397rr2W0ujkHBKboC7GTVqVVlyRokO0AYvFH-0l5nz4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=26.17 (00:26)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/y7Qs08W1aCYLx71hSTItbAjBuzka8mJjxFNDlv9U3HFR-_5c397rr2W0ujkHBKboC7GTVqVVlyRokO0AYvFH-0l5nz4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=33.26 (00:33)): This is Who Am I, Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon. On the show today, I'm joined by David. He grew up in Southern California with one adopted sister whom he lovingly refers to as his lifetime sister. David remembers the day when his family went to pick up Jennifer when she was adopted and they both grew up knowing they were adoptees. He said he didn't really think about his biological family much until one day it just hit him. He didn't know anything about where he was from. His curiosity was peaked and fed by Jennifer's eventual discovery of her own biological father and urging from his wife to keep searching. In the end, David's collaborative teamwork with his adoption search angel, Priscilla, helped him learn more about his mother and father and connect to his biological sister. Here's David's journey. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/y7Qs08W1aCYLx71hSTItbAjBuzka8mJjxFNDlv9U3HFR-_5c397rr2W0ujkHBKboC7GTVqVVlyRokO0AYvFH-0l5nz4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=102.56 (01:42)): David grew up in Southern California and was perfectly comfortable with his adoption from an early age, but in his teen years there was a week where everybody was asking him if he was Irish. It turned out his adopted mother had a little bit of confirmation about his original identity. David (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/y7Qs08W1aCYLx71hSTItbAjBuzka8mJjxFNDlv9U3HFR-_5c397rr2W0ujkHBKboC7GTVqVVlyRokO0AYvFH-0l5nz4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=118.84 (01:58)): Grew up knowing my whole life that I was adopted. You know, I was told I, I don't know exactly at what age, but it was young enough that that's just what I knew and I didn't even know what it really meant quite frankly. I just kind of, I would tell people I'm adopted, you know, there was a period I was working, there was, it was shortly after I graduated high school and I was working at the grocery store as a box boy bagging groceries and stuff and the day shift. And so I'd have a lot of, you know, young mothers with their kids and stuff coming through. And in the period of like one or two weeks, I had three or four different people ask me if I was Irish. And I, I had never given it much...
Mary is 78, but she still has stinging memories of her mother leaving her in another woman’s guardianship. The era was the Great Depression but her mother wanted to go out and have fun without the responsibility of raising In guardianship she was sexually abused, then her guardian blamed her for the economic hardship in that house when the abuser left the home. Mary had grown too independent to reunite with her mother. But despite the trials of her life, she made sure to be the best mother she could possibly be when her children needed her. Read Full Transcript Mary: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/-X4uXD2PQjEaXlXoPqYq3JS_y-i3VtpcHfnOPpjhUAcux_iEf1BT2Bl2pLhkTpdb2F4kjU7OsO99J5l80UEFqHgPLDw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2.45 (00:02) They would tell me, well, she’s not coming back. And I say, Oh yes, she’s coming. She’s coming to get me. But you know, she didn’t come to get me. So eventually you know you give up and then settling in. But I was devastated. I mean, it just, there’s no other word to describe it. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/-X4uXD2PQjEaXlXoPqYq3JS_y-i3VtpcHfnOPpjhUAcux_iEf1BT2Bl2pLhkTpdb2F4kjU7OsO99J5l80UEFqHgPLDw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=27.52 (00:27) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/-X4uXD2PQjEaXlXoPqYq3JS_y-i3VtpcHfnOPpjhUAcux_iEf1BT2Bl2pLhkTpdb2F4kjU7OsO99J5l80UEFqHgPLDw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=34.64 (00:34) This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members? Hey, it’s Damon. And today I was so lucky to talk to one of my own relatives, Mary, she and my biological mother Ann met well before I was able to locate Ann myself, Mary and Ann shared a common interest in, of all things, genealogy. Mary’s story isn’t one of a formal adoption, but being placed into the guardianship of someone else. She was a child during the Great Depression, an extremely challenging time economically and mentally for the health of our country. But Mary’s life challenges were deeply underscored by the upheaval of her family when her mother placed her and her young brother in the guardianship of a stranger. I asked her to tell me about her experiences growing up. I have to warn you, she does describe an abusive experience in her childhood that I suggest you don’t listen to in front of children. Here’s Mary Story. Hello? Mary: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/-X4uXD2PQjEaXlXoPqYq3JS_y-i3VtpcHfnOPpjhUAcux_iEf1BT2Bl2pLhkTpdb2F4kjU7OsO99J5l80UEFqHgPLDw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=96.98 (01:36) Hello Damon, how are you? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/-X4uXD2PQjEaXlXoPqYq3JS_y-i3VtpcHfnOPpjhUAcux_iEf1BT2Bl2pLhkTpdb2F4kjU7OsO99J5l80UEFqHgPLDw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=100.62 (01:40) I’m very well....
Marni grew up in Madison, WI in a transracial family that lived a predominantly white community. Everywhere they went, they were stared at for the heterogeneity they brought to the community. The attention their family received was a constant reminder of their own racial diversity, but Marni’s father seemed to have wise and crafty ways to turn the tables to make his own children feel more comfortable. Still, Marni’s family had some internal dysfunction that fed her desire to search for her biological family always wanted to find her biological family.
Initially, she thought things with her biological mother were going to be great, but it turned out that her biological father was the one she had the deepest connection to. Marni makes her living supporting foster youth in the Washington, DC area, pulling from her own experiences as an adoptee to uplift others.
Read Full Transcript
Marni: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/bTCf0yIB3mZz5IOFJIca6LvVBnLDfTMyvgCyN9WEVKlGCsWk6rhy-RSF_B9nr8HwCy5geLWxhhcJP9-aFjuwS0q3SKI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=6.13 (00:06) Maybe, just maybe all of this has led to a place where I am stable emotionally. I’m okay with talking about everything as it relates to my journey and why not use that as a backbone of strength to give back and help others.
Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/bTCf0yIB3mZz5IOFJIca6LvVBnLDfTMyvgCyN9WEVKlGCsWk6rhy-RSF_B9nr8HwCy5geLWxhhcJP9-aFjuwS0q3SKI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=27.22 (00:27) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?
Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/bTCf0yIB3mZz5IOFJIca6LvVBnLDfTMyvgCyN9WEVKlGCsWk6rhy-RSF_B9nr8HwCy5geLWxhhcJP9-aFjuwS0q3SKI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=38.71 (00:38) This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and today my guest is Marni. She grew up in Madison, Wisconsin, in a transracial family that lived in a predominantly white community, but everywhere they went, they were stared at, the attention their family received was a constant reminder of their racial diversity, but her father seemed to have wise and crafty ways to turn the tables to make his own children feel more comfortable. Still Marni always wanted to find her biological family, so on her 21st birthday, that’s exactly what she began to do. Initially, she thought things with her biological mother, were going to be great. But it turned out that her biological father was the one that she truly had a connection with. I asked Marni to tell me what life was like as an adoptee in her family and in her community. Marni recalls her childhood as one challenged by racial identity. Her family was racially diverse in, in Madison, Wisconsin in the 1970s, the kind of racial diversity and integration that her family showed was far from the norm and their families stood out in their community.
Marni: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/bTCf0yIB3mZz5IOFJIca6LvVBnLDfTMyvgCyN9WEVKlGCsWk6rhy-RSF_B9nr8HwCy5geLWxhhcJP9-aFjuwS0q3SKI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=113.56 (01:53) We had a rainbow coalition, if you will, of a family in the early seventies in Madison, Wisconsin, which wasn’t exactly popular. And although my parents did, I think, everything they could to normalize something that really was not normal by society standards, it was still rough because we would go places and people’s jaws would drop. My family is, um, pretty into outdoor sporting. Um, for example, camping, canoeing, and in Wisconsin there’s lovely lakes and forests and such to hike through in the northern part of the state and in the northern part of the state, there’s no diversity of any kind. And so because that’s something that our family did recreationally, we spent a lot...
Elise has always been into genealogy and loved looking at family photos & records when she was a child. As a child of adoption, she wondered where her family of origin was? Reunion has had its ups and downs for Elise. The experience with her birth father’s family has been great over the last 20 years. She’s used her genealogy skills to solve a mystery about her paternal grandfather. Elise keeps a door open for communication if her mother or maternal family want contact, yet she understands and accepts that her mother may not be in a position to have a relationship. Elise says, “I am so appreciative of my journey, the good and the bad parts because getting to work out some of the puzzle pieces of my story and my paternal grandfather’s has been a gift and has helped me have a better sense of self and wholeness.” Read Full TranscriptElise: 00:00 I will say the most important thing I found out about after meeting both of them is that you can truly appreciate having the entire puzzle put together because I could totally see like what I got from my mom and dad and what I received from my mother and father and you can appreciate what came from the nature side and what came from the nurture side. Voices: 00:30 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: 00:41 This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Elise from Minnesota. She always wanted to search for her birth family and her interest in genealogy from a young age turned into a life’s passion to support adoptees after she found her own parents. After years of searching, Elise found her birth mother who located her birth father for her almost immediately. The reunion started off really well, but then it stalled when her mother closed the door. Thankfully her father still wanted to know his daughter and they fostered a long distance relationship before meeting in person. He told Elise that she had paternal roots in Fargo, North Dakota, but trying to connect to those roots revealed they had originated hundreds of miles away at a place, Elise was very familiar with, here’s Elise’s journey. Damon: 01:39 Elise had one younger brother in her family, whom she remembers bringing home when he was adopted too. They had a large extended family with 16 first cousins. They were all so close in age they seemed almost like siblings. As time marched on, they grew up and had families of their own and over time it became more obvious how biological families kind of look and act similarly to one another, but Elise says she had an innate curiosity about the differences in herself and her family and the ultimate question of what she learned from them that had shaped her and what traits have been passed down to her....
When Sean was a kid, he found out he was adopted. That news created some conflict in him and challenged his identity. He began to rebel against his adopted parents, but some sage wisdom from his grandmother quickly set him straight. Sean returned to loving and appreciating the family he was a part of, but his desire to understand his identity never left. Older and married to his high school sweetheart, Sean’s family began to grow. He said that seeing his world in his oldest daughter’s eyes made him even more sensitive to his biological mother’s tough choice to let him go. After Sean finally mailed his introductory letter to his biological mother, which he had re-drafted several times over the years, he was finally able to reunite with her. He learned some of the ways that he’s just like his mother, and how one of his childhood sports heroes is actually his cousin!
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Sean: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/9Ai-yOSCi-FCnkNYDw89eyEWPtc7VsRuUBss-eAJZowl5lqLUt6Vng0agaJHm2t4xP3UXRi9i7D5lCyLxuyKf6864Mw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3.46 (00:03) It wasn’t until Macy was born and you know for any first time father to look in the eyes of his child and I realized right then like at some stage, not so long ago, someone looked in my eyes when this happened to them and I thought, you know, where is she? And I thought for the first time, like as a parent like they had, there must’ve been a lot of pain to say goodbye.
Speaker 3: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/9Ai-yOSCi-FCnkNYDw89eyEWPtc7VsRuUBss-eAJZowl5lqLUt6Vng0agaJHm2t4xP3UXRi9i7D5lCyLxuyKf6864Mw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=29.9 (00:29) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?
New Speaker: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/9Ai-yOSCi-FCnkNYDw89eyEWPtc7VsRuUBss-eAJZowl5lqLUt6Vng0agaJHm2t4xP3UXRi9i7D5lCyLxuyKf6864Mw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=41.3 (00:41) This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members? Hey, it’s Damon today. I have the pleasure of introducing you to Sean as a kid. When he found out he was adopted, he created some conflict in him and challenged his identity. But some sage wisdom from one of the elders in his family set him straight again so that he could return to loving and appreciating the family he was already a part of. When he got a little older, married his high school sweetheart and their family began to grow. So did his curiosity about his biological mother’s experience, giving birth to him and relinquishing him to adoption. You’ll hear Shawn talk about connecting to his mother brothers and how he feels fortunate to have had the opportunity to say thank you for the life he leads.
Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/9Ai-yOSCi-FCnkNYDw89eyEWPtc7VsRuUBss-eAJZowl5lqLUt6Vng0agaJHm2t4xP3UXRi9i7D5lCyLxuyKf6864Mw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=89.2 (01:29) You and I talked quite a while ago about your story. Um, and I’d love to hear some of the details about how, how you grew up as an adoptee. Tell me about your, your family, your family structure when you found out you’re an adoptee and what it was like being an adoptee in your community.
Sean: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/9Ai-yOSCi-FCnkNYDw89eyEWPtc7VsRuUBss-eAJZowl5lqLUt6Vng0agaJHm2t4xP3UXRi9i7D5lCyLxuyKf6864Mw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=107.91 (01:47) Sure. Uh, well, you know, uh, it’s kind of a funny story. Well, at least I’m able to laugh now, but you know, this whole journey for me started in the first grade when I, uh, I’ve found out what adopted meant about a year prior that my, my parents told me that I was adopted. They just didn’t fill in all the blanks for me. They didn’t really tell me what
Growing up Joi tried to convince herself that being adopted didn’t bother her because she had such a great family. But in reality, great parents did not erase the fact that she didn’t know her birth parents. She laments that never saw anyone who looked like her, and of course, she could never answer a doctor’s questions about her health history. After connecting with a close cousin on AncestryDNA, they began a search through the family tree to locate her birth mother. After the state of New Jersey opened adoptee birth records, the cousins learned exactly who Joi was related to, and that their search had been off track. After receiving her original birth certificate (OBC), she was able to connect with her birth mother and her birth father in a story of joyous reunion befitting a woman named Joi. Since her interview originally aired in August 2017 Joi has published her adoptee memoir, “https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Joi-Story-Faith-Family/dp/1733631402/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=finding+joi&qid=1558748647&s=gateway&sr=8-1 (Finding Joi: A True Story of Faith, Family, and Love)” Joi (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/NqiW0hAXav-2cLVPCwTQZYmUCH6KIS7shxcHNv2FkeH8VHExZYIWlBbTVR36ZHmqBypUiaIEQwAoKuwRejIdsUUGFwA?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=1.11 (00:01)): Will there be a response to the letter? The fear of, okay, now I'll put all this out there and let's say it gets to her and she chooses not to respond. How will I know if she got the letter? Is she even interested in reconnecting with me and then what if I got to this point and I have a name, I have an address. I have even a church that she attends and what if she doesn't want to see me? How am I going to deal with that? Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/NqiW0hAXav-2cLVPCwTQZYmUCH6KIS7shxcHNv2FkeH8VHExZYIWlBbTVR36ZHmqBypUiaIEQwAoKuwRejIdsUUGFwA?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=30.51 (00:30)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/NqiW0hAXav-2cLVPCwTQZYmUCH6KIS7shxcHNv2FkeH8VHExZYIWlBbTVR36ZHmqBypUiaIEQwAoKuwRejIdsUUGFwA?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=41.7 (00:41)): This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis, and on today's show you'll meet Joi. She grew up comforted by the adoption mantra that she was not expected, she was chosen. While adoption was an open topic in her home, Joi admits she hadn't reached a point of speaking freely about her own adoption publicly until she was in reunion. Her reunion story has some unexpected twists and turns as the DNA match she thought she had found turned out to be completely different from her expectation and another DNA match turned into a dead end. In the end, Joi's name lived up to its meaning, which her birth mother cleverly testified to in church for their very first meeting. Here's Joi's journey. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/NqiW0hAXav-2cLVPCwTQZYmUCH6KIS7shxcHNv2FkeH8VHExZYIWlBbTVR36ZHmqBypUiaIEQwAoKuwRejIdsUUGFwA?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=91.56 (01:31)): Joi's adoption was an openly accepted fact in her life, even though people sometimes commented that she didn't quite look like her family. Joi (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/NqiW0hAXav-2cLVPCwTQZYmUCH6KIS7shxcHNv2FkeH8VHExZYIWlBbTVR36ZHmqBypUiaIEQwAoKuwRejIdsUUGFwA?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=98.86 (01:38)): I don't remember how it happened or, but I've, I've always known, I know that I had a baby book and in the front of the baby book it had my pictures when I, I guess first came to them and at the bottom of the first page, it was a little card. It had a baby on the outside and when you flipped it over, it gave my birth date and it said on the outside I wasn't expected, I was selected. And I just remember that being a part of the conversation forever as it related to us talking about adoption. You know, the story of your mother wasn't able to care for you and she wanted you to have a good family. And that's how...
You probably know by now that I’ve written book to share my story, just like so many of our crib mates who have documented their own stories. It’s called https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (Who Am I Really, An Adoptee Memoir). In this episode I introduce my own story, and recap lessons learned from the Who Am I Really podcast. Read Full Transcript Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/xIlyTdHf1ZaHKloX4KHo3XY0L-PJZsfk79d12X7lfsA0M1hhI_wtWZ_wQAK3QXJuyl3zb0-71_lOnJhC8_0rBuXu4X8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=0.12 (00:00) I want to start by thanking all of you for listening to the show. I wasn’t sure this would turn into anything meaningful when I first brainstormed, Who Am I Really? But your comments on episodes, ratings on apple podcasts, personal notes and contributions on Patreon have meant so much to me. I’m not even kidding when I tell you that the feedback is the fuel that helps me continue this passion project and labor of love. I’ve been humbled by the number of people who have reached out to share their adoption journey and I thank all of my guests for their bravery in opening their inner thoughts and deepest emotions for others to hear. You’re helping other adoptees to feel like they are validated about whatever mental state they’re in or have been in and that they’re not alone on this particular journey through life. You’re helping everyone who listens to understand the adoptee perspective from your own words because you’ve lived these experiences. You’re sharing has taught me empathy for other people, not just adoptees, but everyone. We all go through something in our lives and hearing adoption and reunion stories has opened my eyes to just how much we all endure, how resilient we can be in the face of adversity and how we handle our happiness, anger and seek or grant forgiveness. I’m so thankful to my guests for trusting me with helping to share their journeys and now it’s my turn. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/xIlyTdHf1ZaHKloX4KHo3XY0L-PJZsfk79d12X7lfsA0M1hhI_wtWZ_wQAK3QXJuyl3zb0-71_lOnJhC8_0rBuXu4X8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=85.01 (01:25) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/xIlyTdHf1ZaHKloX4KHo3XY0L-PJZsfk79d12X7lfsA0M1hhI_wtWZ_wQAK3QXJuyl3zb0-71_lOnJhC8_0rBuXu4X8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=96.43 (01:36) This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. You probably know by now that I’ve written a book to share my story, just like so many of our crib mates who have documented their own stories. It’s called Who Am I Really an adoptee memoir. If you haven’t seen it already, you should head over to facebook.com/WAIReally to see a video of my son Seth and me when we opened the box of books when it arrived. It was super cute to watch Seth get emotional as he held the book in his hand for the first time. It’s been a long time coming and I’m really proud of it. A few people have asked me about my writing process, so I’ve told them one of the first things you have to do is you just have to start writing, but my editor gave me some great advice, which I also shared....
Cindy knew she was adopted, but she believed the men in her life where of biological relation – she thought she was adopted within the family. She lived decades with what she calls a lie. DNA testing revealed that her biological father was someone else entirely, and her search for her birthmother hasn’t returned any details about where the woman might be. She has developed two amazing relationships with a sister and cousin, but her 11 half siblings want nothing to do with her. Read Full TranscriptCindy: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/RbKAwlGNDKUDpUid4VKWJaYBrb-VGaHPWGi88YNrfBn5UUmHweRK-re5FsG0bTaSJvgIGwZZjnp_hIPYl8jxIgO36qM?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2.24 (00:02) I think that, even though I, I’m one that needs to know the truth, I can deal with things in time if I know the truth. Lying to me is like the worst thing you can do. So it took me a while to process that I had been lied to my entire life. Um, and that was a big low for me. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/RbKAwlGNDKUDpUid4VKWJaYBrb-VGaHPWGi88YNrfBn5UUmHweRK-re5FsG0bTaSJvgIGwZZjnp_hIPYl8jxIgO36qM?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=27.45 (00:27) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/RbKAwlGNDKUDpUid4VKWJaYBrb-VGaHPWGi88YNrfBn5UUmHweRK-re5FsG0bTaSJvgIGwZZjnp_hIPYl8jxIgO36qM?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=38.83 (00:38) This is, Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and today you’re going to meet Cindy. She called from upstate New York, but she grew up in central New Jersey. Cindy knew she was adopted, but she believed the men in her life were of biological relation. She thought she was adopted within the family. She lived the decades with what she calls a lie. DNA revealed that her biological father was someone else entirely and her search for her birth mother hasn’t returned any details about where the woman might be. She has developed two amazing relationships, but her 10 half siblings want nothing to do with her. This is Cindy’s journey. Cindy was born in West Virginia where she was adopted at the age of three. Her parents were deemed unfit and she was removed from their home for child neglect. Cindy was adopted by her father’s brother. Cindy: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/RbKAwlGNDKUDpUid4VKWJaYBrb-VGaHPWGi88YNrfBn5UUmHweRK-re5FsG0bTaSJvgIGwZZjnp_hIPYl8jxIgO36qM?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=96.86 (01:36) All my life I believed I stayed within my birth, at least my birth father’s family. And so I was adopted at three. I was raised in New Jersey and stayed there until I went to college. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/RbKAwlGNDKUDpUid4VKWJaYBrb-VGaHPWGi88YNrfBn5UUmHweRK-re5FsG0bTaSJvgIGwZZjnp_hIPYl8jxIgO36qM?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=110.11...
Ashley had one of those moments where talking to her biological sister felt so familiar it was like texting and and responding to herself. But her birth mother’s pain and uneasiness over Ashley’s desire to learn anything about her birth father was too much for the woman, and their relationship suffered. When she found her birth father Ashley, predictably, learned that he didn’t know she existed. But incredibly he learned that his wife, who was not Ashley’s birth mother, already knew her husband had a child out there, even though he didn’t. Read Full TranscriptAshley: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/_sSHV0h-UJaF6A5DwnUHdRO2UX_824HZVbtnQS5trL6uQgqr2cgt0C959NNNNzxUqQYOoBCjnB7baNde5vICF4vYem0?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2.36 (00:00:02) I was worried about her because she just is so constantly, basically, it seemed like she was depressed about the situation. I just wanted to make it go away. I just wanted her to know I had a good life. I was happy. I’m still happy. You’re in my life now. Let’s just go with it because, and I remember I said to her, not many people get this chance. Not many people get a chance to meet their biological family and get to know them and I said like, like let’s take advantage of this. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/_sSHV0h-UJaF6A5DwnUHdRO2UX_824HZVbtnQS5trL6uQgqr2cgt0C959NNNNzxUqQYOoBCjnB7baNde5vICF4vYem0?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.96 (00:00:35) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/_sSHV0h-UJaF6A5DwnUHdRO2UX_824HZVbtnQS5trL6uQgqr2cgt0C959NNNNzxUqQYOoBCjnB7baNde5vICF4vYem0?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.19 (00:00:47) This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Ashley. She lives up in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Ashley had one of those moments where talking to her biological sister felt so familiar. It was like texting and responding to herself, but her birth mother’s pain and uneasiness over Ashley’s desire to learn anything about her birth father was too much for the woman and their relationship suffered. When she found her birth father, Ashley predictably learned that he didn’t know she existed, but incredibly he learned that his wife, who was not Ashley’s birth mother already knew her husband, had a child out there even though he didn’t. This is Ashley’s journey. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/_sSHV0h-UJaF6A5DwnUHdRO2UX_824HZVbtnQS5trL6uQgqr2cgt0C959NNNNzxUqQYOoBCjnB7baNde5vICF4vYem0?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=97.26 (00:01:37) Ashley was adopted as an infant because her adoptive parents weren’t able to conceive. She described her life as comfortable and she got a lot of love from her parents. They held her and rocked her every day. In school, he was given the infamous family heritage assignment, so she assumed the identity of her adoptive parents. She was paternally, Scottish and maternally German in adoption. In grade six, she started to question things more. Her adoption was closed, so there wasn’t much information available to her parents, but...
Lori was adopted after her biological mother lived with her adoptive parents, desperately trying to escape the tyranny of her abusive husband. The abuse her birth mother suffered would be a recurring theme in her own life when her mother’s drinking got worse. Lorie tells the story of growing up reminded of the privilege she lived with but wanting only to be herself, not keep up appearances for her mother. When she found her birth mother, she was able to share her own sons with their new grandmother, a woman who missed out Lori’s youth. Read Full Transcript Lori: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/bVwgP9NIFRN9KGxyzLlEcGR-vg-nQLe3leB3zP2oYVB7r6obtIIcgkSKfYDapbBZ36MYI6n7FouRRG4nzaccNNu-X_k?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=0.93 (00:00) He had actually moved her from the house and moved her into like an abandoned farm hill and she said there was no electricity, no running water. Um, it was her and my oldest brother, pretty much they had no food. She was severely malnourished when she was pregnant and to the point where he would take car parts out of the car, so she couldn’t go anywhere. She was pretty much abandoned in a foreign house and had nowhere to go. She couldn’t escape for the longest time. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/bVwgP9NIFRN9KGxyzLlEcGR-vg-nQLe3leB3zP2oYVB7r6obtIIcgkSKfYDapbBZ36MYI6n7FouRRG4nzaccNNu-X_k?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.71 (00:35) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/bVwgP9NIFRN9KGxyzLlEcGR-vg-nQLe3leB3zP2oYVB7r6obtIIcgkSKfYDapbBZ36MYI6n7FouRRG4nzaccNNu-X_k?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.2 (00:47) This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Lori. She called me from Georgia before her move to Washington state. She was adopted after her biological mother lived with her adoptive parents, but that boarding situation was forced because of abuse, which was a recurring theme in Lori’s home, thereafter. She tells the story of growing up reminded of the privilege she lived with, but wanting only to be herself, not keep up appearances for her mother. When she found her birth mother, she was able to share her sons with the woman who had missed out on her youth years ago. This is Lori’s journey. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/bVwgP9NIFRN9KGxyzLlEcGR-vg-nQLe3leB3zP2oYVB7r6obtIIcgkSKfYDapbBZ36MYI6n7FouRRG4nzaccNNu-X_k?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=91.83 (01:31) When I spoke to Lori from Georgia, she was planning to move their young family west to Washington following her husband’s career in the United States army. Lori’s five month old son was in the background so you might hear him from time to time. She told me that she was born and partially raised in central California where her parents and most of their family were from. She didn’t really know too many adopted kids in her area and adoption wasn’t spoken of in her home. She said she was one of four that her parents...
Steve, from London, Ontario, Canada shares his story of being adopted after his mother lost a child. Steve and his mother never connected, in fact, she stifled his social development and seemed to be holding him back because he didn’t look like their family, and didn’t fit in. As a teen, Steve was out on his own in the streets when he learned that he had fathered a child – that’s when he became a single father. In reunion, he found a connection to his birth mother, but her empty promises ended with rejection that surprised him. Read Full Transcript Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/W9k-YyLJ5dESS_5WDL2WRXpg0_RU3h3gLeDymVTYpofJLu-wbfyrk0uIuhb2WmBQ-L9i21Tpy1QB_kM-4redUgga9Vo?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=0.03 (00:00) Hey there. I just wanted to take a sec to let you know that in between producing the show, chasing my son Seth around and generally living life, I took time to write a book about my own adoption journey. It’s called Who Am I Really? Of course. If you’d like to pre order a copy, go to WhoAmIReallypodcast.com and click shop, where you will be redirected to the publishers bookstore. I hope to make it to your reading list. Okay, here’s this week’s show. Steve: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/W9k-YyLJ5dESS_5WDL2WRXpg0_RU3h3gLeDymVTYpofJLu-wbfyrk0uIuhb2WmBQ-L9i21Tpy1QB_kM-4redUgga9Vo?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=33.92 (00:33) My birth mother tells her, look, I’m not allowed to have contact with him. The kids have his contact information. If they want to contact him, they’re welcome to. I’ve given them, you know what I mean? Everyone’s aware and man, that felt like a knife through the gut, and I don’t know why. Like I guess in that moment I just, I felt orphaned. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/W9k-YyLJ5dESS_5WDL2WRXpg0_RU3h3gLeDymVTYpofJLu-wbfyrk0uIuhb2WmBQ-L9i21Tpy1QB_kM-4redUgga9Vo?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=62.08 (01:02) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/W9k-YyLJ5dESS_5WDL2WRXpg0_RU3h3gLeDymVTYpofJLu-wbfyrk0uIuhb2WmBQ-L9i21Tpy1QB_kM-4redUgga9Vo?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=73.55 (01:13) This is, Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Steve. He called me from London, Ontario, Canada. Steve shares his story of being adopted after his mother lost a child, but Steve and his mother never connected. In fact, she stifled his social development and seemed to be holding him back because he didn’t look like their family and didn’t fit in. As a teen, Steve was out on his own in the streets when he learned that he had fathered a child, that’s when he became a single father. In reunion, he found the connection to his birth mother, but empty promises ended with rejection and that surprised him. This is Steve’s journey. Steve doesn’t recall being told he was adopted. He just always knew it, but he doesn’t know how he knew that fact. By his description, his parents were...
In Kenneth’s family all of siblings were adoptees, each fostered in their parents home before their adoption were made final. That scenario worked out great for Kenneth, but not so much so for his oldest sister who never bonded with their mother. Seeking reunion, Kenneth carefully approached his half-sister and learned the truth about his brith mother’s institutionalization which led to his sister’s adoption, and his own conception. Kenneth was still seeking answers as to his birth father’s identity at the time of our interview… for now at least he knows more about where he came from. Read Full Transcript Kenneth: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/VSDZgGdOtMAXoYBLQFSAl0u26m3jH5XR-pm41T7t_DAowth1Suh5PzmG7RIGoJqyBvupOJnWhtU3H5tj2SLXU3_iqEQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=0.1 (00:00) Yeah. You know, and it’s kind of funny in being the adopee, I think it was a lot tougher on my sister. My sister would visit my mother there and my mother had electroshock therapy and all that kind of stuff and it’s like I didn’t have to experience it myself, but my sister did. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/VSDZgGdOtMAXoYBLQFSAl0u26m3jH5XR-pm41T7t_DAowth1Suh5PzmG7RIGoJqyBvupOJnWhtU3H5tj2SLXU3_iqEQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=25.22 (00:25) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/VSDZgGdOtMAXoYBLQFSAl0u26m3jH5XR-pm41T7t_DAowth1Suh5PzmG7RIGoJqyBvupOJnWhtU3H5tj2SLXU3_iqEQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=36.59 (00:36) This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Kenneth. He called me from Cole City, Illinois. His family of siblings were all adoptees, each fostered in their parents’ home before their adoptions. That scenario worked out great for Kenneth, but not so much for his oldest sister. Seeking reunion, he bonded with his half sister and learned the truth about his birth mother’s institutionalization, which led to his sister’s adoption and Kenneth’s conception. He’s still seeking answers as to his birth father’s identity, but for now at least he knows more about where he came from. This is Kenneth’s journey. Kenneth was the youngest of four adoptees in the suburbs of Chicago. He had two older sisters and a brother. So I’m sure you can imagine adoption was an integral part of their lives, but that doesn’t mean it was entirely a great thing for all of them. Listen to the stories Kenneth tells about his siblings start in their home Kenneth: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/VSDZgGdOtMAXoYBLQFSAl0u26m3jH5XR-pm41T7t_DAowth1Suh5PzmG7RIGoJqyBvupOJnWhtU3H5tj2SLXU3_iqEQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=104.79 (01:44) and it’s kind of funny now that I look back on it and I hear other people’s adoption stories, I see how unique in one sense my situation was, my parents became foster parents solely for the, um, to be able to adopt and they figured, well if we start out as foster parents then we’ll have the in that would allow us to, um, be given children. And they were, they got...
When he was a kid, Bill saw clues here and there that he was adopted, but no one ever actually said it. It wasn’t until he called an uncle he’d never met before that the truth was revealed, turning Bill’s world upside down. Reunion with his birth mother was an emotional event with a woman who was told never to speak of his existence again. Bill talks about how he felt toward the father he grew up who took the secret of his adoption to his grave, and how redemptive it’s been to be accepted by his birth parents and his new siblings on both sides. Read Full Transcript Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/4bGtDikRO0I1wk8OUh62nteQ22wNBWTCvnikn1Swq3OhSXMizq1AZVcuMVcScKI0AddTzYpEVNRShs1b9b5v8YMer_g?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=0.03 (00:00) Hey there. I just wanted to take a sec to let you know that in between producing the show, chasing my son Seth around and generally living life, I took time to write a book about my own adoption journey. It’s called Who Am I Really? Of course. If you’d like to preorder a copy, go to WhoAmIReallypodcast.com and click shop where you will be redirected to the publishers bookstore. I hope to make it to your reading list. Okay, here’s this week’s show. Bill: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/4bGtDikRO0I1wk8OUh62nteQ22wNBWTCvnikn1Swq3OhSXMizq1AZVcuMVcScKI0AddTzYpEVNRShs1b9b5v8YMer_g?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=30.17 (00:30) I just realized that what was so upsetting was all the stuff I had missed. I missed 54 years with these people. I missed 54 years with my parents. I missed 54 years with my aunts and uncles and my sisters that I’ll never get back and that was really, really weighing on me and I just, I got to a point where I learned that I have to just accept that and I got to try to get past it. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/4bGtDikRO0I1wk8OUh62nteQ22wNBWTCvnikn1Swq3OhSXMizq1AZVcuMVcScKI0AddTzYpEVNRShs1b9b5v8YMer_g?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=65 (01:05) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/4bGtDikRO0I1wk8OUh62nteQ22wNBWTCvnikn1Swq3OhSXMizq1AZVcuMVcScKI0AddTzYpEVNRShs1b9b5v8YMer_g?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=76.44 (01:16) This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Bill. He called me from Virginia Beach, Virginia. When he was a kid, Bill saw clues here and there that he was adopted, but no one ever actually said it. It wasn’t until he called an uncle he’d never met before that the truth was revealed, turning Bill’s world upside down. He talks about how he felt toward the father he grew up with after learning the news and how redemptive it’s been to be accepted by his birth parents and his new siblings. This is Bill’s journey. Bill tells his adoption story in parts. I gathered, It was because he’s had to accumulate the facts over his lifetime. The first part of his story he calls, what I knew, where he describes exactly that, the things that he...
After the adoptive father she loved so much died, Alison learned her birth father, Tim, was looking for her and she took it as a good sign of things to come. Sadly she found herself disappointed in him, and later in her birth mother, Jean, whom he contacted without telling her. Alison had no idea her birthmother struggled with mental illness, so their contentious relationship was inexplicably challenging. After Alison took legal action to gain access to her adoption records from the agency that refused to turn over her information, she finally laid eyes on the detailed context of her past that meant so much to her, and only her. Read Full TranscriptAlison: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/fZiIy_z6F3qsF3x_bNaT-6ScWWjkn1QQaQnPxnTL_vC4-ru-wbJT7lNAncraWFvJm0ibiGwQBlG5vujE8UNtsyoAL3c?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1.67 (00:00:01) I am the one that had no choice in this. Right? You know, like when you realize like, you know, my, my adopted parents had a choice. They choose, they chose to adopt. My birth mother had a choice, even though in some sense she didn’t, but there was still choices made, right? That weren’t my choices. I mean, I’m the only one that, that completely had no choice. So I realized that like, and this in reunion. I can choose who I have relationships with and who I don’t, you know, I, I, you know, so I realized it’s okay. Like I don’t need to make this work with my birth mother. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/fZiIy_z6F3qsF3x_bNaT-6ScWWjkn1QQaQnPxnTL_vC4-ru-wbJT7lNAncraWFvJm0ibiGwQBlG5vujE8UNtsyoAL3c?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.82 (00:00:35) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/fZiIy_z6F3qsF3x_bNaT-6ScWWjkn1QQaQnPxnTL_vC4-ru-wbJT7lNAncraWFvJm0ibiGwQBlG5vujE8UNtsyoAL3c?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.19 (00:00:47) This is, Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Alison. She called me from Massachusetts. After the adoptive father that she loved so much died, Alison learned her birth father was looking for her and she took it as a sign of good things to come. Sadly, she found herself disappointed in him and later in her birth mother whom he had contacted without telling her. However, after Alison took legal action to gain access to her adoption records from the agency who refused to turn over her information, she finally laid eyes on the detailed context of her past that means so much to her and only her. This is Alison’s journey. This is Alison. Alison: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/fZiIy_z6F3qsF3x_bNaT-6ScWWjkn1QQaQnPxnTL_vC4-ru-wbJT7lNAncraWFvJm0ibiGwQBlG5vujE8UNtsyoAL3c?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=100.81 (00:01:40) I just want to tell you, but I, you know, found your podcast not that long ago. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/fZiIy_z6F3qsF3x_bNaT-6ScWWjkn1QQaQnPxnTL_vC4-ru-wbJT7lNAncraWFvJm0ibiGwQBlG5vujE8UNtsyoAL3c?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=105.39
Neal’s search didn’t take off until he was 66 years old! He got a DNA kit for his birthday and within months he was in touch with his paternal family. Ohio’s open original birth certificate help him learn his birth mother’s name, but he couldn’t find a single maternal connection during his search. This episode was just about to be wrapped up to go live, when Neal circled back to share some big news. Read Full TranscriptNeal: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/1a_qdzJQ6zIiZG50NwFSx7IjPoAd9cRgtBbnOkTSOWnmMO_QtS6K5ZqnOlwdQLM-I1nBjeDMTI6Lwae8Qtt1hNZhFiM?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1.08 (00:01) He didn’t really remember very much about my biological mother and that’s a, that’s a search that continues to this day. Um, and sort of like, uh, everything that was fast and relatively easy about finding my genetic father and his family has been difficult about trying to find my genetic mother. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/1a_qdzJQ6zIiZG50NwFSx7IjPoAd9cRgtBbnOkTSOWnmMO_QtS6K5ZqnOlwdQLM-I1nBjeDMTI6Lwae8Qtt1hNZhFiM?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.81 (00:35) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/1a_qdzJQ6zIiZG50NwFSx7IjPoAd9cRgtBbnOkTSOWnmMO_QtS6K5ZqnOlwdQLM-I1nBjeDMTI6Lwae8Qtt1hNZhFiM?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.19 (00:47) This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis. And on today’s show is Neal. He called me from right here in Rockville, Maryland. Neal search didn’t take off until he was 66 years old. He got a DNA kit for his birthday and within months he was in touch with his paternal family. Ohio’s open original birth certificate policy, helped him learn his birth mother’s name, but he couldn’t find a single maternal connection during his search. This episode was just about to end when Neal circled back to share some big news. This is Neal’s journey. Neal was raised in bay shore, New York on Long Island. He figures his parents must’ve done a good job with helping him to feel okay with his adoption because he always knew and his parents openly pointed out friends in the neighborhood who were adopted too. He had one younger sister also adopted and his parents selected a special day to commemorate their adoptions. Neal: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/1a_qdzJQ6zIiZG50NwFSx7IjPoAd9cRgtBbnOkTSOWnmMO_QtS6K5ZqnOlwdQLM-I1nBjeDMTI6Lwae8Qtt1hNZhFiM?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=110.24 (01:50) Valentine’s Day became sort of our day to commemorate uh, our adoption of me and my sister. And uh, we just kind of, they just kind of made a big deal about it and uh, they were actually greeting cards at the time that, uh, I had a message about being accepted as an adoptee....
Before becoming an adoptee advocate Rich was searching for his own identity. As a child, his older adopted sister vengefully told him their mom wasn’t his real mother. It made him wonder who the other woman could be. When he was in college, his adoptive parents gave him an envelope of non-identifying information. Many years later they handed him another document that revealed his birth name. Rich found himself resenting their decision to withhold information from him that he clearly wanted. When he found his maternal aunt they discussed his birth mother enough to realize she wasn’t the only sister in the family to have relinquished a son in Denver. Read Full TranscriptRich: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/LFIPnrKGBQ2QDKDiIup3WzAfeaTHeJxix9_tJKQEzQgbUlJqASN0V9_l_dseRfY_uN82w2epcSj3GP1pGTSK9WeRwFI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=0.19 (00:00) I started reading her the description of the birth father from my non identifying records and she got really quiet and she said, oh, this changes everything she goes, I know who your birth father was and so once we sorted it all out, we were both in bed for two days because she hadn’t known that her younger sister had done this. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/LFIPnrKGBQ2QDKDiIup3WzAfeaTHeJxix9_tJKQEzQgbUlJqASN0V9_l_dseRfY_uN82w2epcSj3GP1pGTSK9WeRwFI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.82 (00:35) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/LFIPnrKGBQ2QDKDiIup3WzAfeaTHeJxix9_tJKQEzQgbUlJqASN0V9_l_dseRfY_uN82w2epcSj3GP1pGTSK9WeRwFI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.21 (00:47) This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Rich. He called me from Denver, Colorado where he works in adoptee advocacy, but before he took on that body of work, Rich was searching for his own identity. When he was in college, his adoptive parents gave him an envelope of non identifying information. Then years later he received another document with his birth name. When he found his maternal aunt, they discussed his birth mother enough to realize she wasn’t the only sister in the family to have relinquished a son in Denver. This is Rich’s journey. Rich has an older sister who was adopted, like himself, and a younger sister who was the biological child of his parents. Like many adoptive parents, they didn’t think they could conceive a child until she was born. They were set with their daughter and son they had adopted and there was no plans for any more children. It’s amazing how often that storyline is repeated in adoption. Interestingly, since adoption was such an open topic in their family, at one point their younger sister had a bit of an identity crisis. Rich: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/LFIPnrKGBQ2QDKDiIup3WzAfeaTHeJxix9_tJKQEzQgbUlJqASN0V9_l_dseRfY_uN82w2epcSj3GP1pGTSK9WeRwFI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=123.54 (02:03) The funny thing, you know, how...
Ann has an array of experiences from being kidnapped briefly from her adopted family to learning she celebrated the wrong birth date for 22 years. She said she was raised not to question God’s plan in relation to her adoption — so she did so quietly. When she met her biological mother things started out well but turned and remain sour. Fortunately, her birth father’s easygoing acceptance was a welcome surprise that could not have come on a more special day for Ann. Read Full TranscriptAnn: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/AvYxAT3F3ixvI2RxG8wpXsO58EU3IYHFqFwSES5E-OLvXbIwOaATJijUYZZGWGSB5IZBrsOyo0vuTNaN8h_OrAtQZLw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1.64 (00:01) I want my Dad on my original birth certificate that myself and others in my shoes should not have to take an act of Congress for my birth certificate to uphold integrity. I should have the same right as anyone else? Adoption certificates should never become birth certificates. Original birth certificates should always maintain and hold the truth. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/AvYxAT3F3ixvI2RxG8wpXsO58EU3IYHFqFwSES5E-OLvXbIwOaATJijUYZZGWGSB5IZBrsOyo0vuTNaN8h_OrAtQZLw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.81 (00:35) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/AvYxAT3F3ixvI2RxG8wpXsO58EU3IYHFqFwSES5E-OLvXbIwOaATJijUYZZGWGSB5IZBrsOyo0vuTNaN8h_OrAtQZLw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.18 (00:47) This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Ann. She called me from Salem, Oregon Ann has an array of experiences from being kidnapped briefly from her adopted family when she was little, to learning she celebrated the wrong birth date for 22 years. When she met her biological mother, things started out well but turned and remain sour. Fortunately, her birth fathers easygoing acceptance was a welcome surprise that could not have come on a more special day for Ann. This is Ann’s journey. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/AvYxAT3F3ixvI2RxG8wpXsO58EU3IYHFqFwSES5E-OLvXbIwOaATJijUYZZGWGSB5IZBrsOyo0vuTNaN8h_OrAtQZLw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=92.1 (01:32) Ann was born in Portland, Oregon. At her birth, she had low birth weight because she hadn’t had any prenatal care. Babies were not allowed to leave the hospital until they reached a certain goal weight. So Ann stayed in the hospital until she was strong enough to go into foster care. She told me her parents who had already adopted a boy, were intending to adopt another boy when they were offered a chance to host Ann for a weekend, while her foster family got a respite. Apparently, the presence of a little girl pleased her mother so much that her mother fell in love. Ann’s father agreed they could adopt Ann instead of a boy. Ann was raised to be active in her community in Lake Oswego. She was in blue bird and campfire girls and had a pretty good childhood. She has friends from those days that she’s still...
Sandee shared the story of her life with an adopted brother who was coddled by their mother, so much so, that it reinforced her own natural position as a Daddy’s girl. That favoritism forced Sandee’s independence from her mother, but also created a bit of a rift between them. Locating her birth mother happened very quickly once she was offered some search assistance. But when those same volunteers couldn’t find anything about her birth father, Sandee questioned whether her birth mother had been honest about her conception. Luckily, when the truth was finally revealed through DNA, Sandee’s life turned out to be proof of something her paternal half-sister already suspected. Read Full TranscriptSandee: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/CsX-0KQm4fTelAWz6m9iosMwpPwhzl6GyEiBGVwP6QVUPCsDpEgy_I0rHd-vzjybtvgzPMQqPurnYz6xi9V1TId9Nnk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2.19 (00:02) I had told her that we had made contact and that we talked on the phone and by text. I can remember telling her that and saying, are you going to be okay with that? And she said, well, I don’t have a choice now do I? And I was like, Ooh, I guess I didn’t handle this very well. And she was not good with it. It hurt her, which I hate that it hurt her, but at the same time it really had nothing to do with her. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/CsX-0KQm4fTelAWz6m9iosMwpPwhzl6GyEiBGVwP6QVUPCsDpEgy_I0rHd-vzjybtvgzPMQqPurnYz6xi9V1TId9Nnk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.85 (00:35) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/CsX-0KQm4fTelAWz6m9iosMwpPwhzl6GyEiBGVwP6QVUPCsDpEgy_I0rHd-vzjybtvgzPMQqPurnYz6xi9V1TId9Nnk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.23 (00:47) This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Sandee. She called me from Arkansas. Sandee shared the story of her life with an adopted brother who was coddled by their mother. So much so that it reinforced her own natural position as daddy’s girl. Locating her birth mother happened very quickly once she was offered some search assistance, but when those same volunteers couldn’t find anything about her birth father Sandee questioned whether her birth mother had been honest about her conception. Luckily, when the truth was finally revealed through DNA, Sandee’s life turned out to be proof of something her paternal half sister already suspected. This is Sandee’s journey. First, Fun fact about Sandee, Her world revolves around animals. Sandee: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/CsX-0KQm4fTelAWz6m9iosMwpPwhzl6GyEiBGVwP6QVUPCsDpEgy_I0rHd-vzjybtvgzPMQqPurnYz6xi9V1TId9Nnk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=103.6 (01:43) I have seven dogs and four cats, two non releasable raccoons, and right now I’m babysitting my brother’s bird....
Sandee shared the story of her life with an adopted brother who was coddled by their mother, so much so, that it reinforced her own natural position as a Daddy’s girl. That favoritism forced Sandee’s independence from her mother, but also created a bit of a rift between them. Locating her birth mother happened very quickly once she was offered some search assistance. But when those same volunteers couldn’t find anything about her birth father, Sandee questioned whether her birth mother had been honest about her conception. Luckily, when the truth was finally revealed through DNA, Sandee’s life turned out to be proof of something her paternal half-sister already suspected. Read Full TranscriptSandee: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/CsX-0KQm4fTelAWz6m9iosMwpPwhzl6GyEiBGVwP6QVUPCsDpEgy_I0rHd-vzjybtvgzPMQqPurnYz6xi9V1TId9Nnk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2.19 (00:02) I had told her that we had made contact and that we talked on the phone and by text. I can remember telling her that and saying, are you going to be okay with that? And she said, well, I don’t have a choice now do I? And I was like, Ooh, I guess I didn’t handle this very well. And she was not good with it. It hurt her, which I hate that it hurt her, but at the same time it really had nothing to do with her. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/CsX-0KQm4fTelAWz6m9iosMwpPwhzl6GyEiBGVwP6QVUPCsDpEgy_I0rHd-vzjybtvgzPMQqPurnYz6xi9V1TId9Nnk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.85 (00:35) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/CsX-0KQm4fTelAWz6m9iosMwpPwhzl6GyEiBGVwP6QVUPCsDpEgy_I0rHd-vzjybtvgzPMQqPurnYz6xi9V1TId9Nnk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.23 (00:47) This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Sandee. She called me from Arkansas. Sandee shared the story of her life with an adopted brother who was coddled by their mother. So much so that it reinforced her own natural position as daddy’s girl. Locating her birth mother happened very quickly once she was offered some search assistance, but when those same volunteers couldn’t find anything about her birth father Sandee questioned whether her birth mother had been honest about her conception. Luckily, when the truth was finally revealed through DNA, Sandee’s life turned out to be proof of something her paternal half sister already suspected. This is Sandee’s journey. First, Fun fact about Sandee, Her world revolves around animals. Sandee: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/CsX-0KQm4fTelAWz6m9iosMwpPwhzl6GyEiBGVwP6QVUPCsDpEgy_I0rHd-vzjybtvgzPMQqPurnYz6xi9V1TId9Nnk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=103.6 (01:43) I have seven dogs and four cats, two non releasable raccoons, and right now I’m babysitting my brother’s bird....
Paul grew up in a family where he didn’t look like his parents, his father was Mexican and his mother was Japanese. In his childhood, his mother turned incredibly harsh and abusive, especially toward his sister. Searching for his birth mother, Paul made a misstep when he didn’t follow the advice of his search angel, and it cost him a valued relationship. Luckily he was able to connect with his half-siblings on both sides, but one relationship ended abruptly when a spouse fired his gun at Paul! All told, Paul found links to his personal history, and that’s given him the identity he was seeking. Read Full TranscriptPaul: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/kqWCiH8F_kXkW4s9mBXI5hm8DBVAPf9g--ONxOi6fzgZ7iRkNcuXhMJwc_wdMUkJ34K6Pkwv8-lJO4yVcvkPoAaWhpQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2.03 (00:02) But the one thing that would happen, my aunt told me and one of my older cousins had told me, when I was little, the only person that could get me to stop crying was my dad’s sister. As soon as I was in her arms I would shut up. I would stop and the reason, and here’s, here’s the reason why, this is why I’ve always known that voice. My, my birth mom’s voice is exactly identical to, at least to my ears, as my dad’s sister. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/kqWCiH8F_kXkW4s9mBXI5hm8DBVAPf9g--ONxOi6fzgZ7iRkNcuXhMJwc_wdMUkJ34K6Pkwv8-lJO4yVcvkPoAaWhpQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.79 (00:35) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/kqWCiH8F_kXkW4s9mBXI5hm8DBVAPf9g--ONxOi6fzgZ7iRkNcuXhMJwc_wdMUkJ34K6Pkwv8-lJO4yVcvkPoAaWhpQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.17 (00:47) This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Paul. He called me from Tucson, Arizona. Paul grew up in a family where he didn’t look like his parents and eventually his mother turned incredibly harsh and abusive. Searching for his birth mother, he made a misstep when he didn’t follow the advice of his search angel and it cost him a valued relationship. Luckily, he was able to connect with his half siblings on both sides. But one relationship ended abruptly when a spouse fired his gun at Paul. All told Paul found links to his personal history and that’s given him the identity he was seeking. This is Paul’s journey. Paul figures, he was with Catholic social services for about three to four months before he was adopted. His father was Mexican and his mother was Japanese. He met her in Japan during the Korean War and they got married in the United States. Paul: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/kqWCiH8F_kXkW4s9mBXI5hm8DBVAPf9g--ONxOi6fzgZ7iRkNcuXhMJwc_wdMUkJ34K6Pkwv8-lJO4yVcvkPoAaWhpQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=110.61 (01:50) So right there, when I was old enough to look in the mirror and everything, I was like, well, you know, one of these things is not like the other. I don’t Look...
Megan grew up in an affluent suburb of Chicago and was comfortable with her adoption, but curious about her start in life. After pregnancy, “I struggled with mental health problems and became addicted to narcotics and anti-anxiety meds.” When she met her maternal relatives, things went well until her aunt shunned her for her addiction recovery. On her paternal side, that same news, being in recovery, was met with acceptance, because we all have our challenges. More than anything, Megan is thankful to finally have a sister, and it’s someone listeners already know. (http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/071-i-would-give-anything-to-hear-his-voice/) Read Full TranscriptMegan: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/-eyfsyoEzJftmV5oq7Q7Y_HAXFV7ReXqF38W8AT7LmTUx568IL0Qv78WkT5LdNRlSwbc1DvosQRG71ajs9pFYLIeSmk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3.55 (00:03) Am I opening up my heart to this woman who is just gonna stomp on it? Do I let myself accept the love that’s coming at me and just take it at face value and so that’s what I decided to do, but I was not going to make, you know, midnight pilgrimage to Chicago to meet them. Because I’ve been hurt. You know what I mean? I’ve been really hurt by my birth mother’s side of the family. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/-eyfsyoEzJftmV5oq7Q7Y_HAXFV7ReXqF38W8AT7LmTUx568IL0Qv78WkT5LdNRlSwbc1DvosQRG71ajs9pFYLIeSmk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.8 (00:35) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/-eyfsyoEzJftmV5oq7Q7Y_HAXFV7ReXqF38W8AT7LmTUx568IL0Qv78WkT5LdNRlSwbc1DvosQRG71ajs9pFYLIeSmk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.13 (00:47) This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on today’s show is Megan. She called me from Minneapolis, Minnesota. Megan grew up in an affluent suburb of Chicago and was comfortable with her adoption but curious about her start in life. When she met her maternal relatives, things went well until her aunt shunned her for her addiction recovery. On her paternal side, that same news was met with acceptance because we all have our challenges, but more than anything, Megan is thankful to finally have a sister and it’s someone listeners already know. This is Megan’s journey Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/-eyfsyoEzJftmV5oq7Q7Y_HAXFV7ReXqF38W8AT7LmTUx568IL0Qv78WkT5LdNRlSwbc1DvosQRG71ajs9pFYLIeSmk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=94.22 (01:34) Megan grew up in Beverly, an affluent neighborhood on the south side of Chicago. She’s the oldest of three children in her family, all adopted, raised strict Irish Catholic. Megan says she was told she was adopted from as far back as she can remember and it was something to be proud of....
Linda’s childhood was tumultuous after her mother’s death as she was raised in what she thought was her grandmother’s home. When she learned the truth about her life from the neighbor’s kids, at age 10, Linda immediately wanted to find her birther father. She endured years of abuse in her grandmother’s home with no love. She characterizes her story, not as an adoption, she thinks of herself as stolen from her biological father. You can find Linda’s book at http://lindablackmer.com/ (LindaBlackmer.com) or you can search “My Father’s Eyes: A Story of Stolen Lives” on Amazon Read Full TranscriptLinda: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/DIoDIBHb3AkVEq_2esju83vaT48fmPr46XBI2dgbeVWTMCtCMnlhGJnkmETuan4XnKDfZ5EWMwzfyv9VQWZGDRiZD_M?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3.59 (00:03) Grandma’s drivin. Then we’re driving down the road and she begins calling me names and then she gets quiet and she goes, you know, Linda, you’re right. Your Dad is not your father. And it was like, wow, you know, my abuser is actually finally telling me the truth. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/DIoDIBHb3AkVEq_2esju83vaT48fmPr46XBI2dgbeVWTMCtCMnlhGJnkmETuan4XnKDfZ5EWMwzfyv9VQWZGDRiZD_M?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=27.59 (00:27) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who Am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/DIoDIBHb3AkVEq_2esju83vaT48fmPr46XBI2dgbeVWTMCtCMnlhGJnkmETuan4XnKDfZ5EWMwzfyv9VQWZGDRiZD_M?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=38.87 (00:38) This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Linda. She called me from Farmington, New Mexico where she lives so far away from it all, that she had to drive into town from her house to get a good mobile signal so that she could share her story with you. Linda’s childhood was tumultuous after her mother’s death as she was raised in what she thought was her grandmother’s home. Once she learned the truth about her life from the neighbor’s kids at age 10, Linda immediately wanted to find her birth mother. She endured years of abuse in her grandmother’s home with no love. She characterizes her story not as an adoption, she thinks of herself as stolen from her biological father. This is Linda’s journey. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/DIoDIBHb3AkVEq_2esju83vaT48fmPr46XBI2dgbeVWTMCtCMnlhGJnkmETuan4XnKDfZ5EWMwzfyv9VQWZGDRiZD_M?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=92 (01:32) Linda admits her journey is convoluted, but you already know that many of our stories are on November 22nd 19, 63. President Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas, Texas. The next day, November 23rd. Linda’s mother was killed. Linda was about three years old. Her sister was four the girls, went to live with their maternal grandmother as the family tried to make a plan for their future....
In her adopted family Tameko’s parents just assumed that as an adoptee, she was misbehaving, but when her older adopted brother showed up he actually started framing her for terrible things, trying force her out. Even worse, he abused her. On her search, she read a description of her birthmother that humanized her, but the first pictures Tameko saw online documented the hardening of a once beautiful woman. Read Full TranscriptTameko: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/Ta5OoT-jiicCBuh5gTYVjUHNrI6nDpo59prngcv7aHZEIZFUuZN1cno1IAcW1qjJ5aazlzsLJRSVjmoPUgOvO7dECBg?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=5.4 (00:05) this is turning her into a real person and I’m like, I’ve never, I’ve never looked at my mom like that. It’s always somebody was always trying to make her seem like a bad person, so it seemed like my adoption was like this a great thing, which it was, but it’s like don’t make her look like a monster. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/Ta5OoT-jiicCBuh5gTYVjUHNrI6nDpo59prngcv7aHZEIZFUuZN1cno1IAcW1qjJ5aazlzsLJRSVjmoPUgOvO7dECBg?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=41.1 (00:41) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who amq I? This is Who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and on., today’s show is Tameko. She called me from Seattle, Washington in her adopted family Tameko. Parents just assumed that as an adoptee she was misbehaving. But when her older adopted brother showed up, he actually started framing her for terrible things, trying to force her out even worse. He abused her. On her search. She read a description of her birth mother that humanized her, but the first pictures Tameko saw documented the hardening of a once beautiful woman. This is Tameko journey. Tamika was in foster care until she was adopted at about three years old. Tameko: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/Ta5OoT-jiicCBuh5gTYVjUHNrI6nDpo59prngcv7aHZEIZFUuZN1cno1IAcW1qjJ5aazlzsLJRSVjmoPUgOvO7dECBg?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=96.32 (01:36) One day in the foster home I was in. I was like three , they were like oh, someone’s gonna come and take a look at you and I’m fine. they might want to adopt you and I was like, all right, cool, So they were like go take a nap. And I was like, wow. Now I’m excited. I went up to my room in my room and I, you know, and I’m kind of peeking around the corner and you know, finally, uh, someone knocks on the door and this, and they opened the door and this woman, this black woman, and I’m like, mom, because I’m, well, I’m black, but I’m that. I knew of at the time. So I was like, oh. And I was living in a foster home that a lot of white people, and it was Mormon. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/Ta5OoT-jiicCBuh5gTYVjUHNrI6nDpo59prngcv7aHZEIZFUuZN1cno1IAcW1qjJ5aazlzsLJRSVjmoPUgOvO7dECBg?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=146.29 (02:26) You said you were living in a foster home that was predominantly white and it was Mormon, is that what you said?...
Ashley shares her story growing up in adoption and having a positive outlook on her life because she felt she was placed for a reason, living life according to God’s plan. Ashley had two sisters, one adopted, one genetic to her parents but she bonded most over adoption with her lifelong school friend, also an adoptee. She searched off and on for 19 years with periodic focus, but it was a quick lunch break internet search that changed everything. The name she had for her birth mother was one of many aliases. She learned that her birth mother had been violently taken from their family, and her aunt was looking for her in the aftermath. Read Full Transcript Ashley: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/sccrytyCafRDJCB94MLXOlEnbo5uupdzo-C61UhDd7QmiPflH5tP7e0ue-NwIcu7TMkONXb8ORFDfXbShhNLb_yhxuI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=6.54 (00:06) It’s a wonderful thing that I’ve met them, but then I will never hear her voice. I will never get to touch her. I never get to see her. I will never get to have that experience and I think that hurt, it hurt from this world, prematurely and You know why? Why did you have to do that? Why did you have to murder her. Like, what was the point? Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/sccrytyCafRDJCB94MLXOlEnbo5uupdzo-C61UhDd7QmiPflH5tP7e0ue-NwIcu7TMkONXb8ORFDfXbShhNLb_yhxuI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=34.38 (00:34) Who am I? Who am I? Am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I ? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/sccrytyCafRDJCB94MLXOlEnbo5uupdzo-C61UhDd7QmiPflH5tP7e0ue-NwIcu7TMkONXb8ORFDfXbShhNLb_yhxuI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=45.72 (00:45) This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Ashley. She called me from New Jersey, but she grew up in Portland, Oregon. Ashley shares her story growing up in adoption and having a positive outlook on her life because she felt like she was placed for a reason. She searched off and on for years and with periodic focus, but it was a quick lunch break, Internet search that changed everything. Ashley learned that her birth mother had been violently taken from their family and her aunt was looking for her and the aftermath. This is Ashley’s journey. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/sccrytyCafRDJCB94MLXOlEnbo5uupdzo-C61UhDd7QmiPflH5tP7e0ue-NwIcu7TMkONXb8ORFDfXbShhNLb_yhxuI?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=90.75 (01:30) Ashley was adopted at the age of two. Her father was a social worker, so he was friends with the social worker on Ashley’s adoption case who told him that there was a cute little girl he might want to adopt. Ashley grew up mostly with her mother because her parents divorced when she was seven years old. She had two sisters, one who was also adopted. The other who was biological to their parents. Ashley found out she was adopted at eight years old...
Amanda describes her childhood with a father she considered to be a hero and a mother whom she loves despite her physical and mental abuse while showing favoritism toward her sister. She always wanted to search for her birth parents, scouring her house for information about herself when she was a kid. Unable to endure the abuse against herself and her brother Amanda called social services, after which she was disowned. When she finally obtained her adoption records she found one birth parent was deceased, and the other didn’t want contact yet. Read Full TranscriptAmanda: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/IRGJyNHhZZ-HJe2cZGIaBhw4e-slB9clARrNi2YnhjDsxFJboTis30siPbDjEotqxP67TA4jxIGXsRM6A5S3znZ0xmQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2.26 (00:02) I want him to contact me when he wants to be a part of my life. We’ll get to know me, but it still hurts because I talked to the brothers all the time and I’m like, why can’t he just pick up the phone and just call me or or even returning email. It would be wonderful to just have something. It’s just like don’t silence it. It is so, so I would just give anything to hear his voice. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/IRGJyNHhZZ-HJe2cZGIaBhw4e-slB9clARrNi2YnhjDsxFJboTis30siPbDjEotqxP67TA4jxIGXsRM6A5S3znZ0xmQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.97 (00:35) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I in mind? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/IRGJyNHhZZ-HJe2cZGIaBhw4e-slB9clARrNi2YnhjDsxFJboTis30siPbDjEotqxP67TA4jxIGXsRM6A5S3znZ0xmQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.26 (00:47) This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Amanda. She called me from Mount Horeb, Wisconsin. Amanda is originally from Milwaukee, Wisconsin and she says, even though she lives in the country, you still can’t get the city out of her. Amanda describes a childhood with her father. She considered to be a hero into mother whom she loves despite her physical and mental abuse, while showing favoritism toward her sister. She always wanted to search for her birth parents, scouring her house for information about herself when she was a kid. When she finally obtained her records, she found one birth parent was deceased and the other not wanting contact yet. This is Amanda’s journey. Amanda was born in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, the second baby to her 23 year old birth mother, but she was placed in foster care when she was nine months old. Amanda: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/IRGJyNHhZZ-HJe2cZGIaBhw4e-slB9clARrNi2YnhjDsxFJboTis30siPbDjEotqxP67TA4jxIGXsRM6A5S3znZ0xmQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=108.79 (01:48) My mom actually gave me upon her own volition initially because she thought that I would be better off with someone else because she just was having a tough time with it and actually it was good that she did because apparently when they did the intake or weighed like 12 pounds, so I was severely malnourished. And so then when I went to foster care, of course, you know I bolt right...
Kyle tells the story of growing up, towering over his mother and sister and looking very different from them, but being loved. Locating his birth mother he was amazed to see someone he looked like but struggled to get along with as she battled her own pain. In the end, he was able to truly connect to his Native American heritage while discovering the pain that was deep within him. His experience inspired him to write two songs. Read Full Transcript Kyle: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/jXFXcrZaEH2w5vIyyK6eNbcXgFIM7d2QGnC8QTrDcJgzfHS2UAr9EuSqQ40aKSbsQcefDlTSOrTFlDkbWq63gfscBTY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3.15 (00:03) And that’s the thing is she’s a great person. It was just very hard towards the end to have the relationship because I think she felt she wanted to be my mom. I just period and she couldn’t be. She didn’t raise me and it was a very tough thing for her. And I think it’s just the trauma, you know, it’s easy to get wrapped up in my own trauma, but you know, that can’t be easy… Giving up a baby, especially when you don’t want to. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/jXFXcrZaEH2w5vIyyK6eNbcXgFIM7d2QGnC8QTrDcJgzfHS2UAr9EuSqQ40aKSbsQcefDlTSOrTFlDkbWq63gfscBTY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.95 (00:35) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/jXFXcrZaEH2w5vIyyK6eNbcXgFIM7d2QGnC8QTrDcJgzfHS2UAr9EuSqQ40aKSbsQcefDlTSOrTFlDkbWq63gfscBTY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.21 (00:47) This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and my guest on the show today is Kyle. He called me from Seattle, Washington. Kyle tells the story of growing up, towering over his mother and sister and looking very different from them, but being loved, locating his birth mother. He was amazed to see someone he looked like, but struggled to get along with as she battled her own pain. In the end, he was able to truly connect to his native American heritage and the experience inspired him to write two songs. Here’s part of one of them called the saddest song and did this is Kyle’s journey Kyle Singing: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/jXFXcrZaEH2w5vIyyK6eNbcXgFIM7d2QGnC8QTrDcJgzfHS2UAr9EuSqQ40aKSbsQcefDlTSOrTFlDkbWq63gfscBTY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=135.94 (02:15) [Music] See all of me. I’m there before you. You’re In my dreams, but I don’t know you. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/jXFXcrZaEH2w5vIyyK6eNbcXgFIM7d2QGnC8QTrDcJgzfHS2UAr9EuSqQ40aKSbsQcefDlTSOrTFlDkbWq63gfscBTY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=153.551 (02:33) Kyle said that he had a good childhood, but they didn’t really talk about adoption still. He felt like everyone in the family knew he was adopted and some folks were a little nicer to him in his extended family while some folks were...
Daniela was born in a small mining town in Chile. Adopted by a German family who moved from South America to Miami, she never felt like she belonged. While struggling as a teenager and burning to know more about her own heritage she was psychoanalyzed and medicated by doctors, and she wanted to end it all. When she found her maternal sisters online their reunion in Chile was lovely. Later when Daniela’s paternal sisters found her online, the maternal family said they never wanted to hear from her again. Daniela’s reunion with her paternal family has helped her get in touch with her roots and feel whole for the first time in her life. Read Full TranscriptDaniela: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/RRbcGb20W_9itOY_Vs6f3vX2I2nhim4fGydOcalLuQBC7BiD0CUlJ1T8eWDC3y8gKtQR4sxdcizJN2r8_qQfAqgzCb8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2.59 (00:02) I was so, so happy. I was so excited, so happy. My sisters were like, Oh, well, we never did get the results. Let us know. First, let her go first. So first thing I did is I let my sister know and I shouldn’t have done that. Why is that? What happened? Anything turned from them. Everything true and it went from. It went from everything was great and framing. We were really good with each other to to them shutting the door on me and never speaking to me again. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/RRbcGb20W_9itOY_Vs6f3vX2I2nhim4fGydOcalLuQBC7BiD0CUlJ1T8eWDC3y8gKtQR4sxdcizJN2r8_qQfAqgzCb8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.93 (00:35) Who am I? Who am I? Who Am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/RRbcGb20W_9itOY_Vs6f3vX2I2nhim4fGydOcalLuQBC7BiD0CUlJ1T8eWDC3y8gKtQR4sxdcizJN2r8_qQfAqgzCb8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.2 (00:47) This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis and today you’ll meet Daniela. She was born in Chile. Daniela was adopted by a German family who later moved to Miami. She was out of place in her family and out of place in a new country during her teen years. She was seen as a problem given psychotherapy and medicated when in reality she was just passionate in her own self expression. In her twenties, she was able to locate her biological mother and sisters back in Chile and they began a wonderful reunion, but when Daniela discovered her birth father’s true identity, her maternal side turned their backs for good. In the end, Daniela is very thankful for what she now knows about herself as a native Chilean. This is Daniela’s journey. Daniela was born in Coronel. Her mother was low income and it was common for babies to be adopted by foreigners. Daniela: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/RRbcGb20W_9itOY_Vs6f3vX2I2nhim4fGydOcalLuQBC7BiD0CUlJ1T8eWDC3y8gKtQR4sxdcizJN2r8_qQfAqgzCb8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=113.89 (01:53) She had a social worker come to her regularly to check up on her, on her pregnancy, uh in those times I guess adoption was big to give babies to foreigners, German families. It was common, so I was, yes, I was...
Christie was a shy child who wanted to participate in activities but held herself back from engaging. It wasn’t until she was an adult when her adopted brother unexpectedly suggested that Christie might want to search that their mother shared her adoption information. When she found her birth father, he openly acknowledged their relation and explained he and her birth mother would have been very young parents with no parents of their own. He introduced Christie to her birth mother, and the women took it slow getting to know and trust one another. The biggest reunion surprise for Christie was realizing she wasn’t as well-adjusted about adoption as she thought. Her reunions uncovered buried emotions that have plagued her since childhood, but she’s putting in the work to heal herself. The blog post Christie references is: https://adultadopteesupport.blogspot.com/2014/01/am-i-blood-or-am-i-water.html Read Full TranscriptChristine: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/-nSkCR_tMV0ToLYmndtFFSZo3xNDkpdw6KOpyl7m5Ep02Njmz9sZsMzoC0Y6z57DTVHhkttj6OkTUKmh1jpLZ66F8gY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=4.91 (00:04) That was the essence of what I grew up with, this feeling, this and not anything that my parents put on me. It was me putting on myself and from such a young age, I don’t even recall it happening, that I have felt ashamed of being adopted, that I knew that I wasn’t worthy of being kept, you know, so I’ve done a lot of work and it’s really profoundly changed me as a person. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/-nSkCR_tMV0ToLYmndtFFSZo3xNDkpdw6KOpyl7m5Ep02Njmz9sZsMzoC0Y6z57DTVHhkttj6OkTUKmh1jpLZ66F8gY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.91 (00:35) Who am I? Who am I? Am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/-nSkCR_tMV0ToLYmndtFFSZo3xNDkpdw6KOpyl7m5Ep02Njmz9sZsMzoC0Y6z57DTVHhkttj6OkTUKmh1jpLZ66F8gY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.19 (00:47) This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Christie. She called me from Rocklin, California, a suburb of Sacramento. christie tells the story of being a shy child who wanted to participate in activities, but she held herself back from engaging. It wasn’t until she was an adult were her adopted Brother unexpectedly suggested that Kristi might want to search that her mother shared her adoption information with her. When she found her birth father. He openly acknowledged their relation and explained to the complexities of their situation as young parents Long ago. He introduced Christie to her birth mother and the women took it slow getting to know and trust one another. This is Christie’s journey…. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/-nSkCR_tMV0ToLYmndtFFSZo3xNDkpdw6KOpyl7m5Ep02Njmz9sZsMzoC0Y6z57DTVHhkttj6OkTUKmh1jpLZ66F8gY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=100.441 (01:40) christie was born in the early 1960s in San Diego, California. Her adoptive parents took her home from the hospital when she was three days old. She always knew she was...
Rick’s birthmother relinquished him into foster care where he was terrorized as a toddler. He was eventually adopted around age 6 but always felt like an outsider. At 16 years old he reunited with his maternal family who informed him his mother was institutionalized for paranoid schizophrenia. Their reunion didn’t go at all how he had hoped. When he found his birth father, the man was incarcerated but welcoming. Eventually, Rick distanced himself from his birth father and when he tried to reconnect, it was too late. Read Full TranscriptRick: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ps11MxwHcqArMdUW4jAJaaqfMMwfKcNFXSrbgR-CUw4mTF3Yia4-3EMIiHYvg2rRmooQB1QxxQsSCVa05zUxjG1To6k?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3 (00:03) Like this was part of her schizophrenia, you know, so she believes that she had another child. I’m an only child. She believed that she had a girl that was taken away from her too. So this is a lot for a 16 year old boy just to take in, you know, I’ve never been around anybody mentally ill. I’ve never experienced this. And now this was my…. This is my mom. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ps11MxwHcqArMdUW4jAJaaqfMMwfKcNFXSrbgR-CUw4mTF3Yia4-3EMIiHYvg2rRmooQB1QxxQsSCVa05zUxjG1To6k?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.92 (00:35) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I mind? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ps11MxwHcqArMdUW4jAJaaqfMMwfKcNFXSrbgR-CUw4mTF3Yia4-3EMIiHYvg2rRmooQB1QxxQsSCVa05zUxjG1To6k?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=47.21 (00:47) This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Rick. He called me from Central Illinois. Rick tells the story of being terrorized in foster care as a toddler and challenges in childhood, connecting with his adopted family. Those early issues drove his desire to find his birth mother, but when he did, her mental state wouldn’t allow them to connect. Rick hadn’t focused on finding his birth father at all, but when he did, the man was surprisingly receptive. They had a falling out and Rick tried to reconnect later, but he learned it was too late, but that news wasn’t even the worst news of that day. Rick’s doing just fine now, but he’s been through a lot. This is Rick’s journey… Rick says, adoption was never really talked about in his house growing up, but even before his adoption, he says he spent the first years of his life with his mother and grandmother. Rick: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/ps11MxwHcqArMdUW4jAJaaqfMMwfKcNFXSrbgR-CUw4mTF3Yia4-3EMIiHYvg2rRmooQB1QxxQsSCVa05zUxjG1To6k?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=110.39 (01:50) I have kind of a unique experience. I wasn’t adopted as an infant. I was actually with my mother and grandmother for about the first year of my life and then was placed into foster care. And so my earliest memories are not of my adopted family or my biological family, but a foster family. Um, and those weren’t very good memories at all. Um, and so these things fester...
Alisa describes her life as the child of Latvian refugees who escaped the brutality and destruction of World War II. They raised Alisa in the ways of their heritage and while she identifies with her community and her upbringing, she admits she struggled with being an imposter. In reunion, her birth parents had an odd request for her that I’ve never heard before, and that she wasn’t comfortable fulfilling. Over time she began to feel like a disappointment to them. Thankfully, in the middle of it all, Alisa was able to express her love and gratitude to her adopted father before losing him suddenly. Read Full TranscriptAlisa: 00:05 I told him before he died and I didn’t know he was gonna die. Said, you are the only dad has ever had. You’re my dad I loved him and I really am glad I said that because he died of a sudden heart attack about a month later. I was really, really fortunate that I was able to say that you did make me rethink, you know, the importance of letting people know how much you care about them. She never know what will be your last chance. Voices: 00:35 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: 00:47 This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Alisa. She spoke with me from Lincoln, Nebraska. Alisa described her life as the child of refugees from the brutality and destruction of World War II. They raised Alisa in the ways of their heritage and while she identifies with their community and her upbringing, she admits she struggled with being an imposter in reunion her birthparents had an odd request for her that I’ve never heard before and that she wasn’t comfortable fulfilling. Over time, she began to feel like a disappointment to them. Thankfully in the middle of it all, Alisa was able to express her love and gratitude to her adopted father before losing him. Suddenly, this is Alisa’s journey. Alisa was adopted by Latvian parents lot via is a small country on the Baltic Sea, opposite of the famously neutral country of Sweden and west of the notorious Russia in the 1940s Latvia by force under Soviet control and hundreds of thousands of people fled to other countries. Alisa’s parents among them. Alisa: 02:08 They flooded in different ways. And then she wound up in the camps in Germany, um, shortly after that until it was freed and they came over in 1950 on the other hand, was quite wealthy after he watched his dad’s twin brother get shot down by Russians right in front of him. They buried all their silver, like most Latvians did, hoping that they would turn back some day and ran and they sold watches off to their bodies, did whatever they could work, odd jobs throughout different places in Europe and until they wound up in the camps for the last year before it was freed....
Kendra’s story is filled with peaks and valleys of emotion. After running far, far away in her teens, Kendra’s adopted mother blamed her for her adopted father’s demise. She and her mother were estranged for years until her adopted mother’s mortality changed their relationship. In reunion, her birth mother accepted her return but kept Kendra a secret. Decades later she had an amazing reunion with her siblings, only to find things were turning upside down at home. Read Full TranscriptKendra: 00:05 I think that’s why I never really talked about my childhood with my kids. I just thought I’m just going to lock it up, you know, weld it behind this gate and it’s never. It can’t hurt if I don’t talk about it and that was a colossal parenting mistake. I do not recommend doing that at all because it will all come doubling up to the surface when you least expect it. Voices: 00:31 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: 00:42 This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Kendra. Kendra lives near Palm Springs, California. Her story is filled with peaks and valleys of emotion. After running far, far away, Kendra’s adopted. Mother blamed her for her adopted father’s demise. She and her mother were estranged for years until her adopted mother’s mortality changed their relationship. In reunion Her birth mother accepted her return, but kept Kendra a secret. Then decades later, she had an amazing reunion with her siblings only to find things were turning upside down at home. This is Kendra’s journey. Damon: 01:34 Kendra was adopted after one week of life in 1965. Her parents planned on adopting another little boy, but unfortunately they divorced, so Kendra was an only child. She grew up in Torrance, California, and she remembers the day she was told that she was adopted and how she was made to feel. Kendra: 01:53 I grew up in only child and my mother was an identical twin and her identical twin had a daughter who is nine months older than I was and so that was interesting. I was told I was adopted when I was four years old and it. It kinda came up one day when we were out shopping and my aunt was talking about having my cousin and I asked my mom got having me and I can see the eyes that darted and I knew something was up so they told me, Oh, you’re special chosen. We picked you. I got that speech and I didn’t really know what they were talking about, but the way they said it to me, so special and beautiful like a princess, you know, but yet there was this look in their eyes, like don’t ask any other questions about it. So I thought, well, I’ll get somebody else to explain it to me....
Every day Leslie’s birth mother called the orphanage where she was left for adoption. So when Leslie located her birth mother 30 years ago, then tried again to connect with her six years ago, it was shocking that the woman wanted no contact with her. Leslie’s birth mother left her with no clues about her birth father’s identity, but DNA helped her settle the mystery. It turned out that the closure Leslie need came from meeting her birth father, whom she simply calls Dad. Read Full TranscriptLeslie: 00:03 She’s had a lot of time to make all the choices and I’m now in control and so I will be calling my siblings unless she would like to do that and I think it would be better coming from her, so I’m giving her one week and then I’m calling them. Voices: 00:23 Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: 00:34 This is who am I really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I’m Damon Davis, and on today’s show is Leslie. I spoke with her from her home in Spokane, Washington. Leslie tells the story of locating her birth mother nearly 30 years ago. Then trying to connect with her again more recently it was baffling to everyone involved why the woman was so distant, especially given that Leslie knew about how thoughtful the woman had been when she was born. Unfortunately, their reunion left, Leslie feeling empty, especially because she walked away with no clues as to her birth father’s identity. Luckily DNA testing opened new doors to discovering her paternal connections, allowing her to finally feel the wholeness she sought in reunion. This is Leslie’s journey. Leslie spent seven months in an orphanage in spokane after her birth. Listen to the story her adopted mother tells about her early life. Leslie: 01:39 I was born in Spokane, Washington. My birth mother was from Montana and she was an unwed mother and she had me and then I was put into basically, which at the time in ’69, it was like an orphanage and I was in there for seven months prior to my adoption and so my birth mother used to call every single day to see if I had been adopted. So when my parents adopted me, my mom told me that she felt very sorry for me because they were really understaffed so they didn’t hold, you know, all the babies and so when they would feed me they would just prop the bottle with a pillow. And so she said, you were kind of a little nervous purvis when we first got you. Um like, you would make my hands bleed, holding your bottle because it was like your only security and you, um, have, you weren’t doing things at seven months old that normal babies were like holding up their head and that kind of thing. Leslie: 02:40 So she said I just loved the up and down and you just kinda started
Kandi grew up in a loving Christian home, an adoptee with one older sister who was biologically related to their parents. Kandi found her biological mother living in Gulf Port, Mississippi where she was lucky to spend time with the woman before losing her a few months later. Today, Kandi’s family reflects the structure of her own childhood—-she has 6 biological children, and one adopted daughter, who is actually her biological niece. The post 052 – Little Who? appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast. Kandi (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/9xfYamO-8CQmDKsgAVwYJiSsHvPQIM5qkWl2SyXL0jVOuKdIDFmp0bjieFCB2gpQZasllBL185p34hv7cTmm5-IQQzI?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=3.69 (00:03)): I've never faulted her for putting me up for adoption. Like I always kind of rationalized that it was because she was too young and that's just kinda how I imagined it. You know, there was some circumstance that she loves me, but she wasn't in a position to raise me. And so I just, that's just kinda what I lived on. I never felt like I wasn't wanted to her. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/9xfYamO-8CQmDKsgAVwYJiSsHvPQIM5qkWl2SyXL0jVOuKdIDFmp0bjieFCB2gpQZasllBL185p34hv7cTmm5-IQQzI?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=47.84 (00:47)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/9xfYamO-8CQmDKsgAVwYJiSsHvPQIM5qkWl2SyXL0jVOuKdIDFmp0bjieFCB2gpQZasllBL185p34hv7cTmm5-IQQzI?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=57.5 (00:57)): I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Kandi with a K kandi called me from Laurel Mississippi. She's a mother of seven children with a family composition, similar to her own as a child. One of her kiddos is adopted and the others are biological to herself. Kandi tells the tale of how that adoption came to be after guidance through prayer. Her good fortune to spend time with her birth mother before losing the woman and the forgiveness she holds in her heart for the man who forced her into this world. This is Kandi's journey. Kandi was born in Gulf port on the coast of Mississippi, but her story starts well before her own birth with her adopted mother. Back when she was a child around sixth grade as a part of a church program called girls in action, her mother's church took young girls to a home for unwed mothers. It's not clear to Kandi what the purpose of the trip was for the girls, but she does know it was impactful on her mother. Kandi (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/9xfYamO-8CQmDKsgAVwYJiSsHvPQIM5qkWl2SyXL0jVOuKdIDFmp0bjieFCB2gpQZasllBL185p34hv7cTmm5-IQQzI?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=119.93 (01:59)): And so my mom had gone and while she was visiting and looking around, she saw a baby in the nursery there. And, um, she promised God that when she grew up, she would adopt, she married her high school sweetheart. And they were told it would be very difficult for them to get pregnant, but they, um, tried anyway and finally had not oldest sister and no complications that the doctor was like, you know, you're not going to be able to get pregnant again. And this was just a, a one on one shot thing. And then after several years of not being able to get pregnant, they decided to start looking at adoption. It took about five years for them to finally get their hands on me. So I was only about, I would say, I think I was about 14 days old when I came home and the older sister by that time was 13 years old. And she was actually the first person that got to hold me. So that was really special for her and a lot of people because I had blonde hair and my, my sister had blonde hair. They always assumed that I was hers. But, um, she, she babysat me a lot and she just loved it. Well, this in, by the time, I guess I was about nine or 10 months, maybe even older, my mom found out she was pregnant. And so then she had a little sister that, um, uh, sandwiched between two biological children. Damon...
Kennon was raised by in the lumber town of Mattawa, Canada, where he was one of the only people of color in the community. Growing up in a predominantly white community, he later had trouble assimilating into the black and Jamaican communities when he moved to Toronto. Struggling to find himself, Kennon journeyed to the land of his roots, Jamaica, discovered Rastafarianism, and ultimately found the love and acceptance he missed his entire life. The post 050 – Dem Smell De Blood, They Know Who You Are appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast. Kennon: (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/pPWZfkUaOhJamoQpBvB3UZukNfFEyFz9BC3lcwPi25SPKVf4FiIzuHnI4y9SshrE_ePwtSCcw249AzwM_cL_3JzQX4I?loadFrom=PastedDeeplink&ts=5.24 (00:05)) She just said, like, I'm so sorry for everything that happened to you. If I knew that just I would have gone to Canada, myself to bring you back to Jamaica, to make sure that you grew up around your people. You know, Damon: (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/pPWZfkUaOhJamoQpBvB3UZukNfFEyFz9BC3lcwPi25SPKVf4FiIzuHnI4y9SshrE_ePwtSCcw249AzwM_cL_3JzQX4I?loadFrom=PastedDeeplink&ts=22.82 (00:22)) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis. And today you're going to meet Kennon. He called me from Markham, a suburb of Toronto, Canada. Kennon is a man of mixed race who grew up in a predominantly white community. And the racially charged comments he heard in his youth were alienating for a guy who just wanted to belong. When he moved to Toronto, his upbringing in the small town hindered his ability to fit in with people of color throughout Kennon's life. It seems like he didn't belong anywhere until he found his roots in Jamaica. This is Kennon's journey. Kennon grew up in Matawa Canada, a small French Canadian lumber town. He was a Brown skin child in a community filled with white people. He said it didn't take him very long to feel how different he was from the rest of his community. Kennon: (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/pPWZfkUaOhJamoQpBvB3UZukNfFEyFz9BC3lcwPi25SPKVf4FiIzuHnI4y9SshrE_ePwtSCcw249AzwM_cL_3JzQX4I?loadFrom=PastedDeeplink&ts=96.32 (01:36)) I was different than others because I lived in a principally white community and a French Canadian community. And I was Brown you know or black or whatever you want to call it mixed. I'm mixed race. So, you know, I'm not, uh, I'm not the darkest man around, but I'm also not a, nobody would mistake me for a white person either. So the pressure of being different, you know, probably prompted me to inquire with my parents, uh, probably earlier than most adopted kids might as to why I'm being targeted for being different and all those kinds of things. Right. You know, my earliest solid recollection of, of really starting to feel that sort of, uh, awkwardness and, and, and understanding that I wasn't, the child of my parents was probably, I don't know, seven, eight, nine years old before it really started to like sink in, in a way that I could, you know, actively think about in a conscious manner.
Damon: (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/pPWZfkUaOhJamoQpBvB3UZukNfFEyFz9BC3lcwPi25SPKVf4FiIzuHnI4y9SshrE_ePwtSCcw249AzwM_cL_3JzQX4I?loadFrom=PastedDeeplink&ts=160.52 (02:40)) That's fascinating. And what did you think about what, when you say you were targeted for being different, what kinds of things were happening to you that really sort of flagged your difference?
Kennon: (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/pPWZfkUaOhJamoQpBvB3UZukNfFEyFz9BC3lcwPi25SPKVf4FiIzuHnI4y9SshrE_ePwtSCcw249AzwM_cL_3JzQX4I?loadFrom=PastedDeeplink&ts=173.18 (02:53)) Well, I mean, you know, principally, it was name calling, uh, you know, I heard the N word lot when I was a kid child. I was called Oreo cookie a lot, like Kamala the Ugandan giant. Like there were a thousand names that people had me, you know, tar baby, uh, you...
Sherie said she sometimes thought about searching for her birth family, but even talking about it with her husband made her cry. She finally gathered the strength to search after voraciously reading “The Girls That Went Away”. It dramatically changed her perspective about her own adoption and the possibilities for what her birth mother might have endured. Unfortunately, when Sheri’s court-appointed investigator found her birth mother the woman wasn’t ready to reunite…yet. It took time for Sheri’s birth mother to overcome a family loss and regain her strength to face Sheri. Thankfully, Sheri was patient along the way, making sure that building trust with her birth family was the foremost goal in her reunion. The post 049 – It’s Just More People To Love Me appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.
When Kaitlin was nine years old she was ready to lobby for access to her original birth certificate. She attempted a reunion with her birth mother, who left clues that she wanted to be found. But when she was located she was surprised. Kaitlin’s excitement over finding her family led her to a misstep that soured the relationship with her birth mother. Luckily, things went much better for Kaitlin and her birth father, who just happened to be in town when she called! The post 048 – It’s Not Always The Fairy Tale You Hoped For appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.
When Anna was born, her adoption resulted in Anna and her mother living as siblings. Very early in her life she lost her birth mother and her adopted mother, so she was on her own. Anna shares how she survived those tragic losses, physical abuse by her stepmother, and a life few parental figures. Since she never had male figure in her life, Anna struggles with how best be a daughter in reunion. But her paternal family always pulls her back in when she starts to drift away. The post 047 – I Was In Charge Of My Destiny appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.
Michael says he always knew he was adopted and spoke openly about it with anyone who expressed curiosity. However, when he launched his search, he didn’t feel like he could share those details openly with his adopted mother. When he found his birth mother, she told Michael she always knew he would find her. To continue his search for his birth father, she encouraged Michael to connect with his half-brother by another woman but forewarned Michael that his birth father didn’t know of his existence. But it turned out there was a lot more Michael’s father didn’t know… about himself. The post 045 – This Child Will Find Me appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast. Michael (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/6YL0mWuQ0MlZtoeXdSRZwb_wXnP5DerVD3ASf99_S1khO-bR28fxCK2cGwOCC651Kuk3GTRsSV1ytIAEhNlLjeevF4Q?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=5.28 (00:05)): She said before her mother passed away, she was saying, you should really find your, your, your sons. And I think she might've been looking on her own before she died, because her DNAs on 23 and me, and it's my number one hit. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/6YL0mWuQ0MlZtoeXdSRZwb_wXnP5DerVD3ASf99_S1khO-bR28fxCK2cGwOCC651Kuk3GTRsSV1ytIAEhNlLjeevF4Q?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=27.41 (00:27)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Michael. He's a theater teacher in New Jersey. He says he always knew he was adopted and spoke openly about it with anyone who expressed curiosity. But when he launched his search, he didn't feel like he could share those details openly with his adopted mother, when he found his birth mother, she told Michael, she always knew he would find her to continue his search for his birth father. She encouraged Michael to connect with his half brother by another woman. But for warned Michael, that his birth father didn't know of his existence, it turned out there was a lot more that Michael's father didn't know about himself. This is Michael's journey. Michael grew up with three siblings, one adopted sister, three years older than himself and twin siblings born to his parents, whom they brought home from the hospital exactly two years to the day after they brought him home. Michael was so comfortable with how his family was formed. He openly shared that he's an adoptee with everyone. When he eventually found his birth parents, he went back to his adopted mother to ask when she actually told him he was adopted. Michael (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/6YL0mWuQ0MlZtoeXdSRZwb_wXnP5DerVD3ASf99_S1khO-bR28fxCK2cGwOCC651Kuk3GTRsSV1ytIAEhNlLjeevF4Q?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=119.49 (01:59)): People always ask me, when did you know, you know, how old were you when you found out you were adopted? And I, I don't remember being told that I was adopted. I, I just have always known. Um, and when I've spoken to, when this whole thing happened with my birth parents and I spoke to my adopted mother and I asked her, I said, when did you tell me? Cause I don't remember. I don't remember. And she said that they were taught, you know, through the adoption agency, you know, they, they were advised by them to tell, to tell me, as, as young, as even in the crib telling, you know, you're loved and you're, you're, you know, you you're special and all this stuff. And so I guess it just was always known to me, uh, and growing up, you know, I was very open about it. Michael (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/6YL0mWuQ0MlZtoeXdSRZwb_wXnP5DerVD3ASf99_S1khO-bR28fxCK2cGwOCC651Kuk3GTRsSV1ytIAEhNlLjeevF4Q?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=168.01 (02:48)): I, I, I guess, cause it, cause I'm an actor. I really don't have, I wasn't shy as a kid. Let's just say, so I would, I'd be with my, my brother, you know, in a playground and people would say, are, you know, are you, are you two brothers? And I'd say,...
Paige didn’t even know that searching for her birth family was an option until she learned about it on local tv as an adult. The topic of adoption was closed her whole life, partially because of how her parents understood and portrayed her closed adoption to her. Fortunately, Ohio law allowed her to access her original birth certificate (OBC). Receiving personal information about herself ignited a passion to learn more and set her off on a voyage of discovery. Paige was lucky to find her birth father’s name in the papers, a which doesn’t always happen for adoptees in that era. She connected with him one time, then he vanished. When he resurfaced, Paige was able to complete her journey because he had finally decided to be honest with his family about his past. The post 043 – When I Looked At Him, I Could See Things About Me appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast. Paige (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/wNnu30Ooaa7PbBDVHJbopIN9yxzq0qvwAf-q_lko_y5xpLvzpkBkuajPZmHO4u72Egb1QAJy0_iVyO01sWWwR2zS-HQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=5.64 (00:05)): And I just knew don't push certain buttons. It's not worth it. There's no point in making a 78 year old guy embarrassed about something from 1961. That's right. Now he married the right person for him. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/wNnu30Ooaa7PbBDVHJbopIN9yxzq0qvwAf-q_lko_y5xpLvzpkBkuajPZmHO4u72Egb1QAJy0_iVyO01sWWwR2zS-HQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=27.43 (00:27)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Paige. She lives outside of Cincinnati, Ohio growing up Paige, never talked about her adoption with anyone. The topic of adoption was closed partially because of how her parents understood and portrayed her closed adoption to her. But as a young married woman, she saw on TV that Ohio actually did allow her to access her original birth certificate, receiving personal information about herself, ignited a passion to learn more and set her off on a voyage of discovery. Paige was lucky to find her birth father's name in the papers, which doesn't always happen for adoptees. In that era. She connected with him one time. Then he vanished when he resurfaced, Paige was able to complete her journey because he had finally decided to be honest with his family about his past. This is Paige's journey. Paige was born in Ohio in March of 1961. Her understanding is her birth mother went into labor early. So after her birth, she spent a month in an incubator before being adopted. 13 months later, Paige (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/wNnu30Ooaa7PbBDVHJbopIN9yxzq0qvwAf-q_lko_y5xpLvzpkBkuajPZmHO4u72Egb1QAJy0_iVyO01sWWwR2zS-HQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=116.65 (01:56)): I was born in Ohio at, at the time. Um, and my parents didn't my parents who raised me, did not understand the law really well, or it was one of those, you know, how people hear what they want to hear and see what they want to see and think what they want to think. Their understanding. I don't believe they lied to me in any kind of direct way. Their understanding of the law was since it was a closed adoption, that meant I could never, ever in my entire life of lives ever find them because it was closed the way the law in Ohio was. And my parents didn't bother to keep up on these things because they basically got what they wanted and were like, we're done. We're done here. Right? Um, law in Ohio at the time was changed in 1964. The records were open. Paige (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/wNnu30Ooaa7PbBDVHJbopIN9yxzq0qvwAf-q_lko_y5xpLvzpkBkuajPZmHO4u72Egb1QAJy0_iVyO01sWWwR2zS-HQ?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=167.08 (02:47)): Now. I wouldn't have been able to get them until I was in adult, but the records were open. Some law was passed at some point that made it so that as long as you were born prior to...
Right before Sharon left for college, her parents sat her down to say she was of age to start looking for her birthparents. She had never contemplated that possibility before, so it took years for her to act on her desire to learn more about herself. In the late 1980s, she went through Catholic Charities to help retrace the path back to her biological family. But her assigned intermediary maintained tight control over the family’s communications, stifling their connection. For five years Sharon and her birth mother communicated laboriously through their intermediary before her mother closed the door. After years of silence in her reunion attempt, Sharon decided to try just one more time to break through her birth mother’s resistance, and she was glad she did. Her birth mother apologized for everything she had put Sharon through. The post 042 – This Little Voice Said, “You Gotta Do Something” appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast. Sharon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/KeipXaaGOOiWjkFENu3JO5GNfkliWGykEKq-P5AIi0XNmrC9OuDy9mZXOt4lLacCxrluSpnMyr6TW4bJVRNmE8YMypY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2.57 (00:02)): I tried to convey to Colleen, this is important to me. This is this the stuff about me that I've always wondered where it came from. And I don't know that she really understood. I think she had a lot of sorrow because she turned to me one time when we were visiting and said, I am just so sorry for what I put you through. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/KeipXaaGOOiWjkFENu3JO5GNfkliWGykEKq-P5AIi0XNmrC9OuDy9mZXOt4lLacCxrluSpnMyr6TW4bJVRNmE8YMypY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=30.28 (00:30)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Sharon. She spoke with me from Houston, Texas. She was adopted through Catholic charities there in the late 1960s. Sharon was the older of two adoptees in her family. Her younger brother challenging her parents a lot along the way. In her twenties she found her biological relatives, but the decision was made for Sharon that there would be no meeting. When she finally made contact with her birth mother, a Catholic charities, intermediary maintain tight control over the communication stream. Frustrating everyone involved after years of silence in her reunion attempt, Sharon decided to try just one more time. And she was glad she did her birth mother apologized for everything she had put Sharon through. This is Sharon's journey. Sharon was born in 1967 in Houston. Her parents were unable to conceive children. So they adopted children. They were active in their local community. Her father with the fire department, her mother was a school nurse and they were a part of the church. Sharon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/KeipXaaGOOiWjkFENu3JO5GNfkliWGykEKq-P5AIi0XNmrC9OuDy9mZXOt4lLacCxrluSpnMyr6TW4bJVRNmE8YMypY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=118.62 (01:58)): My father, my adoptive father had some chronic illness problems and just wasn't able to conceive. And, and, um, it was never really discussed, but it was just, you know, the understanding was is they just, they were infertile. So they wanted to adopt, you know, in the Catholic church, you know, the, the emphasis is on family. So if you aren't able to make a family go find one. So they, they adopted me. And, um, I was raised in Houston. I, uh, we lived in Houston. Then when I got to be a school age, my parents decided they didn't like the school district they're in Houston. So they found a community West in the West of Richmond. And we settled there and I started grade school and we were there all the way through high school. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/KeipXaaGOOiWjkFENu3JO5GNfkliWGykEKq-P5AIi0XNmrC9OuDy9mZXOt4lLacCxrluSpnMyr6TW4bJVRNmE8YMypY?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=168.6 (02:48)): Sharon says she's always known. She...
Jennifer was perfectly comfortable with her adoption until her teen years when her self-awareness was heightened, and her desire to learn more about who she is bloomed. Protecting her parents feelings, she pushed away her desire to search for decades until one day her curiosity exploded again. In the end, her residual drive from her experience as a detective on the Chicago police force helped her to keep asking questions and pressing on with her search. Jennifer shares her warm feelings from knowing her birth mother always talked about her and her birth father’s family welcomed her w/ the same love they felt for her father. The post 040 – I Mattered Throughout The Years appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast. Jennifer (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/LN9nTLDOPY6IF6t7mSQ6nJfb0WXczWM1OtXboactds425GhKvVqwdEDhuVKPcaggG3fLrhENHl1VlakU9aRbgdOafv0?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=5.35 (00:05)): She says, you know, when your mom would talk about you and say she had this baby in 64, you know, we just listened to her, you know, we didn't know cause they couldn't put a face or, you know, they're just listening to her, tell this story. So for me to start, this was like, you are real. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/LN9nTLDOPY6IF6t7mSQ6nJfb0WXczWM1OtXboactds425GhKvVqwdEDhuVKPcaggG3fLrhENHl1VlakU9aRbgdOafv0?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=30.28 (00:30)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I> who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis. And today you'll meet Jennifer. She's a recent transplant to Nashville, but she originally hails from Chicago's Washington Heights. On the South side, Jennifer told me she spent two years in foster care before being placed with her parents who were somewhat older. She was perfectly comfortable with her adoption until her teen years, when her self-awareness was heightened and her desire to learn more about who she is bloomed. Protecting her parents, she pushed away her desire to search for decades until one day. Her curiosity exploded again. In the end, her residual drive from her experience as a detective on the Chicago police force helped her to keep asking questions and pressing on with her search. This is Jennifer's journey. Jennifer was placed with her family from foster care. At two years old, her adoption was an open topic in her family and in her community. And she felt special because of it. But her teen years brought more self awareness and therefore more interest in the real meaning of what adoption actually meant for her. Jennifer (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/LN9nTLDOPY6IF6t7mSQ6nJfb0WXczWM1OtXboactds425GhKvVqwdEDhuVKPcaggG3fLrhENHl1VlakU9aRbgdOafv0?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=117.41 (01:57)): I was permanently placed there from foster care. I was in foster care for my first two years and, uh, it was great. You know, I always thought I was special here chosen and I never felt like that was a bad thing. I thought that was a pretty cool thing. Um, and everyone knew like, I, I don't ever remember like being sat down and told you're adopted, you know, so it was, um, yeah, it was something that was just kind of known to me and to everybody, you know? So it was in the family. Like there was no secret about that. And even in my neighborhood, you know, even, you know, even in a neighborhood, people knew and it wasn't a bad thing, you know, I just never felt that way now. I don't know what people were talking about, you know, amongst themselves, that, for me, it was a good thing. Jennifer (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/LN9nTLDOPY6IF6t7mSQ6nJfb0WXczWM1OtXboactds425GhKvVqwdEDhuVKPcaggG3fLrhENHl1VlakU9aRbgdOafv0?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=167.9 (02:47)): I think around adolescence though, I began to wonder, you know, like how this different, um, I guess, uh, status how that, what that really meant, what does it really mean to be...
Jennifer was perfectly comfortable with her adoption until her teen years when her self-awareness was heightened, and her desire to learn more about who she is bloomed. Protecting her parents feelings, she pushed away her desire to search for decades until one day her curiosity exploded again. In the end, her residual drive from her experience as a detective on the Chicago police force helped her to keep asking questions and pressing on with her search. Jennifer shares her warm feelings from knowing her birth mother always talked about her and her birth father’s family welcomed her w/ the same love they felt for her father. The post 040 – I Mattered Throughout The Years appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.
When I met Bill, summer 2017, and found out he was a genealogist, I was excited to hear everything he had to say. I wanted to hear more about his own personal history, how he got into genealogy, and the clients he’s helped. My birth mother was also a genealogist, but I never got to learn about her work before she passed away. I was really lucky to find Bill who also ended up being one of my genealogists! The post 038 – Interview w/ One Of My Two Genealogists appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.
Lee, my search & reunion social worker in Baltimore, MD, unlocked many of the answers about why I was placed for adoption. She worked to locate my biological mother, Ann, and read my birth mother’s introductory letter to me over the phone. For National Adoption Awareness Month I interviewed Lee about her passion for searches and reunions, her personal connection to adoption, stories from her decades of experience supporting children and families in Baltimore. The post 037 – Interview w/ A Search & Reunion Social Worker appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast.
Despite loving and respecting his parents, Chris struggled through family life with an alcoholic father and having almost adopted sister with emotional problems. Chris had a challenging childhood being bullied at school and dropping out of his senior year of high school. After Chris left the U. S. Marine Corps, he started his search. His outreach to his…
November is National Adoption Awareness Month, so I’m bringing you a different perspective from the adoption community. On prior episodes you’ve heard adoptees talk about the amazing work that they’re search angels have done with them. Today I’m introducing you to one of those search Angels. You’ve already heard about her work in my interview with Stephanie (in episode 29) where she lauded the work of her amazing spouse AND Search Angel, Diana. Diana has always been into family history and exploring genealogy, so when Stephanie’s search for her birth relatives began Diana was all in. Diana shares the processes she goes through to assist adoptees in their searches, some lessons she’s learned over years of searching, and why her volunteer work to help others is meaningful to her. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/035-interview-w-search-angel-every-answer-get-questions/ (035 – Interview w/ A Search Angel – For Every Answer You Get, There Are More Questions) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Diana (00:00): There's a transformation that happens with people and my experience with adoptees is people start out saying, I just want to know a name and I like to say for every answer you get, you end up with five more questions because then it's not just a name. Then you want to know what they look like. Then you want to know something about them. Then you know, then you want to know, did they wonder about me? Voices (00:38): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (00:49): This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and it's November, which is National Adoption Awareness month. So on today's show, I'm bringing you another different perspective from across the adoption community. Here on Who Am I Really, I focus on people's adoption journeys and their attempts at reunification with their biological family members. On prior episodes, you've heard adoptees talk about the amazing work that their search angels have done with them. Today, I'm introducing you to one of those search angels. You've already heard about her work. in my interview with Stephanie in episode 29 where she talked about her amazing spouse and search angel Diana. Stephanie (01:34): Diana is now a California search angel. This became one of those things that you know I felt so strongly about as did she, that she got involved in the search angel community. Damon (01:45): She found a calling and you were her first client. Stephanie (01:48): Well, that's kind of the way it is. Damon (01:50): Diana says she's always been into family history and exploring genealogy, so when Stephanie's search for her birth relatives began, she was all in. Diana shares the processes she goes through to assist adoptees in their searches, some lessons she learned over the years of searching and why her volunteer work to help others is meaningful to her. Here's the story of Diana's work as a search angel. I started by asking Diana what her own connection to adoption had been. She says in her younger days, she didn't really think about adoption even though there were one or two adoptees around her that she was aware of. Everything changed when she met Stephanie. Diana was very close to her own mother, but when she witnessed Stephanie's interaction with her mother, they had one of the oddest interactions she had ever seen between mother and daughter. Diana (02:43): There was just something about it, the body language, the way her mother spoke to her. I remember when her mother left the room, I asked her, I said, Stephanie, what's your relationship with your mother like? And she looked at me and she goes, I hope you won't think that I'm strange when I say this, but I find my relationship with my mother to be very unnatural. Damon (03:12): Hmm. So you picked up on it though right
Today I’m bringing you something a little different for #NationalAdoptionMonth. There are a lot of people, processes, and policies integral to the adoption of a child, raising a child, and supporting that person’s desire to search for their birth family. I’m bringing you a few stories from across the adoption continuum. The first is that of the Gift Of Adoption Fund (https://giftofadoption.org/donate/), a volunteer-driven non-profit organization that raises funds to provide adoption assistance grants to complete the adoption of vulnerable children. Gift of Adoption’s CEO Pam Devereux shares a little of her own story of being personally driven to helping others, the mission of the organization, and how she hopes many more of us will consider donating to charities that support adoption because, ultimately, the welfare of all children is on all of us. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/032-gift-adoption/ (032 – Intervew With The Gift Of Adoption Fund) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Pam (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/8yfkq2zOuErlsLT1dsRrCHBJ6WxUlz3rfgTgb3lK5u9yFoQYxRgyy6P7PNy6XoWqB4oyEzM6_yVTQK-kf-8RXCWbH3o?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=0.03 (00:00)): Adoption is sort of like a one day sort of thing, but then the family is forever and so hearing about the ripple effect of that to me is what warms my heart and it just makes me feel grateful for what we're able to do. Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/8yfkq2zOuErlsLT1dsRrCHBJ6WxUlz3rfgTgb3lK5u9yFoQYxRgyy6P7PNy6XoWqB4oyEzM6_yVTQK-kf-8RXCWbH3o?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=23.63 (00:23)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/8yfkq2zOuErlsLT1dsRrCHBJ6WxUlz3rfgTgb3lK5u9yFoQYxRgyy6P7PNy6XoWqB4oyEzM6_yVTQK-kf-8RXCWbH3o?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=30.81 (00:30)): This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members? I'm Damon Davis and today I'm bringing you something a little different. Normally Who Am I Really shares stories of adoptees trying to connect with their birth families, but in talking to so many adoptees, it has become clear to me that there are a lot of people, processes and policies integral to the adoption of a child, raising a child and supporting that person's desire to search for their birth family. There are birth parents, foster parents and adoptive parents. There are social workers, search angels, policymakers in court systems and advocacy groups all contributing their piece to the adoption community. For National Adoption Month, I'm bringing you a few stories from across the adoption continuum. Don't worry. I still have reunion stories planned, but I wanted to share some other perspectives too. The first is that of a volunteer driven nonprofit organization that raises funds to provide adoption assistance grants to complete the adoption of vulnerable children. The organization is called The Gift of Adoption Fund and my guest today is Pam Devereaux, CEO of The Gift of Adoption. You may hear me refer to it as GOA. You can find them online at giftofadoption.org. Pam shares a little of her own story of being personally driven to help others. The mission of Gift of Adoption and how she hopes many more of us will consider donating to charities that support adoption because ultimately the welfare of all children is on all of us. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/8yfkq2zOuErlsLT1dsRrCHBJ6WxUlz3rfgTgb3lK5u9yFoQYxRgyy6P7PNy6XoWqB4oyEzM6_yVTQK-kf-8RXCWbH3o?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=133.26 (02:13)): I asked Pam a little bit about herself because I really wanted to know what kind of person becomes CEO of a charitable organization that helps fund adoptions. She's from Chicago and she studied business at the University of Illinois. Pam told me she always felt the urge to help others and wanted to join the Peace Corps when she was younger. She graduated college, got a job in banking
Jamie grew up an only child with her wonderful adoptive parents in the suburbs of Atlanta, GA. She was happy to hear in reunion that her birth parents had already talked about her existence with their families. Living in Tennessee, she found her birth mother right back in Atlanta, in the same county where she lived as a girl. Jamie shares some truly special moments she was blessed to share with her birth father including a special dance, and an epic celestial event. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/031-finding-hope/ (031 – Finding Hope) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Jamie (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/xgNq1jjYtixjDyjBZ-UtjOppnMLqrwZDb7hkM1DyGmlqsiAZ1dRki5XKNt5kCD3r0E9TG7Wa5VqJYvaJ9_d2Amut3QI?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=3.7 (00:03)): I choose to know both of them today. You know from the time that I found them and not you know, anything in the past that's just, we all have paths and I choose to know them today and for who they are today, no matter what the situation was, you know, 38 years ago. Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/xgNq1jjYtixjDyjBZ-UtjOppnMLqrwZDb7hkM1DyGmlqsiAZ1dRki5XKNt5kCD3r0E9TG7Wa5VqJYvaJ9_d2Amut3QI?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=24.55 (00:24)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/xgNq1jjYtixjDyjBZ-UtjOppnMLqrwZDb7hkM1DyGmlqsiAZ1dRki5XKNt5kCD3r0E9TG7Wa5VqJYvaJ9_d2Amut3QI?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=35.97 (00:35)): This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Jamie. She lives in Tennessee, but she grew up as an only child with her wonderful adoptive parents in the suburbs of Atlanta, Georgia. She started her search when she was 18 years old, finding her birth mother first in 2010 and her birth father recently in 2017 she was happy to hear in reunion that her birth parents had already talked about her existence with their families. Jamie tells the story of her blessings in reunification and some truly special moments she was able to share with her birth father when they first met. Here's Jamie's journey. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/xgNq1jjYtixjDyjBZ-UtjOppnMLqrwZDb7hkM1DyGmlqsiAZ1dRki5XKNt5kCD3r0E9TG7Wa5VqJYvaJ9_d2Amut3QI?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=84.23 (01:24)): Jamie was adopted as an infant and her parents were super loving when she was a child and their lives revolved around her and her activities. They got her involved in everything from dance and music lessons to church and choir. Jamie shared how her parents were doting parents and she was proud of being an adoptee, but her parents weren't comfortable with her openly discussing her adoption. Jamie (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/xgNq1jjYtixjDyjBZ-UtjOppnMLqrwZDb7hkM1DyGmlqsiAZ1dRki5XKNt5kCD3r0E9TG7Wa5VqJYvaJ9_d2Amut3QI?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=106.14 (01:46)): Well, I had basically always known that I was adopted, but according to my mom, I was told by the son of a family friend when I was very young, maybe four or five-ish. I don't remember being told though. So for me it was just always my reality. It didn't change my world or make me question why or anything of that nature. They always told me I was special and um, made me feel very special. But yet they discouraged me from talking about adoption or sharing that I was adopted. They very much wanted me to just be theirs, you know? So it was not encouraged that we talked about it much. It was talked about very, very little between us. Now, I was very proud of it because I thought it was special and so I would tell anybody and everybody, as long as I didn't think they would tell my parents that I was talking about it. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/xgNq1jjYtixjDyjBZ-UtjOppnMLqrwZDb7hkM1DyGmlqsiAZ1dRki5XKNt5kCD3r0E9TG7Wa5VqJYvaJ9_d2Amut3QI?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=160.74 (02:40)): Oh, that's so interesting. So you...
Jen had a very nice childhood with her parents and never really wanted to search for her birth parents until her friends started having kids. But the ultimate spark that ignited her desire to search came from a family tragedy. In the aftermath Jen located her birth mother and they connected over social media, but Jen could never get her mother on the phone and that gave her a bad feeling. While she’s thankful for the few answers she did get about her past, Jen wishes she had not been deceived and has a warning for other adoptees seeking reunion. On her reunion trip her birth mother bitterly showed her true colors. Thankfully,contacting her birth mother did allow her to connect with other really cool relatives, and find her paternal half-brother who is ecstatic to know her. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/030-dont-fall-for/ (030 – Don’t Fall For “I Can’t Talk To You On The Phone”) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Jen (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/oBd-nEyhwN_HH-8OSblo0End8kDzdi1d97iRIiMl2km6DNUYG-M9dQaZILr3_8sABSTAgCg2mSBWKGV6-bT-9AaTtWs?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=3.05 (00:03)): I never got a please. Thank you. A nicety. Nothing. I got nothing decent or nice or kind from this woman, so that's the reason why when I look back at whatever communications we had prior to, I deleted everything because I don't think any of it's true. Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/oBd-nEyhwN_HH-8OSblo0End8kDzdi1d97iRIiMl2km6DNUYG-M9dQaZILr3_8sABSTAgCg2mSBWKGV6-bT-9AaTtWs?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=23.68 (00:23)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/oBd-nEyhwN_HH-8OSblo0End8kDzdi1d97iRIiMl2km6DNUYG-M9dQaZILr3_8sABSTAgCg2mSBWKGV6-bT-9AaTtWs?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=35.11 (00:35)): This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show is Jen who lives in the often sweltering heat of Phoenix, Arizona. She told me she had a very nice childhood with her parents and never really wanted to search for her birth parents until her friends started having kids. But the ultimate spark that ignited her desire to search came from a family tragedy. In the aftermath, Jen located her birth mother and they connected over social media, but Jen could never get her mother on the phone and that gave her a bad feeling. When they finally met face to face, their reunion was short lived. While she's thankful for the few answers she did get about her past, Jen wishes she had not been deceived and has a warning for other adoptees seeking reunion. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/oBd-nEyhwN_HH-8OSblo0End8kDzdi1d97iRIiMl2km6DNUYG-M9dQaZILr3_8sABSTAgCg2mSBWKGV6-bT-9AaTtWs?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=88.1 (01:28)): For Jen, everything was normal. Growing up. Her parents read her a special book every night, the chosen baby, about a couple who elected to adopt an infant and raise the child as their own. Jen still has that book to this day. She never thought about her adoption growing up, even as a young adult. Then her peers started having kids. Of course, the children look like their parents, and Jen began to wonder whom she looked like. It wasn't quite enough of a spark to launch a search, but then something tragic happened. Jen (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/oBd-nEyhwN_HH-8OSblo0End8kDzdi1d97iRIiMl2km6DNUYG-M9dQaZILr3_8sABSTAgCg2mSBWKGV6-bT-9AaTtWs?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=120.23 (02:00)): What changed for me and what made me search for biological family was my mom was killed in a car accident, um, October, 2012. So that was number one, a shock. And number two, a lot of things changed after that. Like I said, it never seemed to be an issue of me being adopted. It never was part of my day. It was never part of my thought. But after my mom was killed, my dad and the remaining family, cause we don't have a big...
Louise was one of four a dual heritage children raised by white parents in England. She had a fantastic childhood. So much so that she has adopted twice. But along her impulsive journey into reunification, Louise was exposed to uncomfortable situations including her biological grandfather’s impending death, overt racism in her mother’s family, and total rejection by her biological father. Unfortunately, Louise’s mother’s withholding of facts also prevented her from knowing her sister, who once was interested in reunification. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/024-im-deeply-hurt-hope-youre-happy/ (024 – I’m Deeply Hurt, But I Hope You’re Happy) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Louise (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/TaeoAVKLDyHNg1FfTXW2PviFtukKwyzNQjwkOfBM2uoV8PnXcVIW-yi2lxEHh_NemcTVdsSvw2FlWfUVNNF0A17kdYY?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=2.04 (00:02)): If you rush these things, you can really damage any sense of long term relationship with people and I think you need to think more widely of the implications of your actions to other people, I didn't even consider how my birth mother would feel. Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/TaeoAVKLDyHNg1FfTXW2PviFtukKwyzNQjwkOfBM2uoV8PnXcVIW-yi2lxEHh_NemcTVdsSvw2FlWfUVNNF0A17kdYY?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=16.94 (00:16)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/TaeoAVKLDyHNg1FfTXW2PviFtukKwyzNQjwkOfBM2uoV8PnXcVIW-yi2lxEHh_NemcTVdsSvw2FlWfUVNNF0A17kdYY?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=34.04 (00:34)): This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis and on today's show you'll hear the journey of Louise. She called me from London, England, so at times you may have to listen closely to hear her voice through the connection, but what you'll hear is the story of a woman who's youthful curiosity about her biological mother led her courageously and impulsively straight to her mother's door. Louise's poorly thought out approach in her twenties may have cost her the deep relationships that a more cautious and measured approach could have yielded and put her in some very uncomfortable situations. Her journey has repetitive rejections on three fronts. After locating her biological mother, father and uncovering the news that she also had a sister. However, Louise now has some sage wisdom for other adoptees and her own adopted children about their own possible journeys through reunification. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/TaeoAVKLDyHNg1FfTXW2PviFtukKwyzNQjwkOfBM2uoV8PnXcVIW-yi2lxEHh_NemcTVdsSvw2FlWfUVNNF0A17kdYY?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=97.98 (01:37)): Louise's heritage is a racial mix of white English descent on her birth mother's side and Jamaican English descent on her birth father's side. Louise's parents had already adopted an older brother, then her, followed by two more multiracial children. They were very open about adoption partially because they all looked very different from one another. Each child's individual adoption situation was their business to discuss with their parents if they chose to. Louise was able to grow up with the comforting information about her biological mother. Louise (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/TaeoAVKLDyHNg1FfTXW2PviFtukKwyzNQjwkOfBM2uoV8PnXcVIW-yi2lxEHh_NemcTVdsSvw2FlWfUVNNF0A17kdYY?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=130.12 (02:10)): Well, I was born in 1978 and I was relinquished for adoption by my birth mother. Um, at birth, really, um, she did change her mind and she went back and forth, but I never left the hospital until I went to live with foster carers and I was then adopted by two wonderful people. Um, it's worth noting that my birth mother's, uh, of white English descent and my birth father is a Jamaican and English descent. And the people that I was adopted by, um, who I refer to as mom and dad, uh, are actually Black English. And, um, I
Marcie finally felt plugged into her biological family after years of divisive behavior from her adopted mother. Her mother never nurtured a bond between Marcie and her adopted siblings and had a hard time overcoming some of her own childhood issues. In reunion, Marcie connected with her biological father who amazingly helped solidify a deeper connection to Marcie’s aunt, his sister. Marcie and her aunt both share an innate connection to their own spirituality. Even though her biological mother was not in a place to be part of Marcie’s reunion with her father, she was able to make a really good connection with another aunt on her maternal side of the family. In hindsight Marcie wishes she had been true to herself throughout her journey, reaching out sooner and making sure to meet her relatives when the opportunities presented themselves. She admits that sometimes it’s okay for each us to be selfish along our journey as long as it is done with kindness and compassion for others. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/021-every-heart-break-heart-gets-bigger/ (021- With Every Heart Break, My Heart Gets Bigger) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Marcy (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/_Y-3uiD5P1qGNQpZf3xEMJ9MtOaIn9lBiBPj3lP4rK625MONitkfqYhBnZmLjnr_uVjijMAeQQQEWHgBCpKVshVjs1o?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=6.78 (00:06)): I think it was painful as a woman, having a child, knowing that somewhere my biological mother went through a pregnancy with me and pushed life out of her, into me and then had to leave me. And the whole experience is esteem now of what my body went through for those nine months and the trauma that your body goes through in order to create the healthy beautiful environment for this beautiful thing, growing inside of you. I had real mixed emotions about it. Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/_Y-3uiD5P1qGNQpZf3xEMJ9MtOaIn9lBiBPj3lP4rK625MONitkfqYhBnZmLjnr_uVjijMAeQQQEWHgBCpKVshVjs1o?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=50.56 (00:50)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/_Y-3uiD5P1qGNQpZf3xEMJ9MtOaIn9lBiBPj3lP4rK625MONitkfqYhBnZmLjnr_uVjijMAeQQQEWHgBCpKVshVjs1o?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=57.7 (00:57)): This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. I'm Damon Davis. And on the show today, you're going to hear from Marcy. Marcy grew up with two older adopted brothers in a home she says, was filled with parental narcissism. That environment made her struggles with her own identity, even worse as a teenager, her upbringing exacerbated deep unrest within her. In reunion, she found her father who laid a path for Marcy to find a kindred spirit in his family. Her story begins in Michigan when she was a child. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/_Y-3uiD5P1qGNQpZf3xEMJ9MtOaIn9lBiBPj3lP4rK625MONitkfqYhBnZmLjnr_uVjijMAeQQQEWHgBCpKVshVjs1o?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=112.06 (01:52)): Marcy has always known she was adopted, but she doesn't really remember actually talking about adoption. Marcy says she had a little trouble navigating her mother's emotions and she couldn't really figure out if things would've been different if Marcy had been her biological daughter. Marcy (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/_Y-3uiD5P1qGNQpZf3xEMJ9MtOaIn9lBiBPj3lP4rK625MONitkfqYhBnZmLjnr_uVjijMAeQQQEWHgBCpKVshVjs1o?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=126.65 (02:06)): I really know if we did talk about it. I don't really remember. I know, you know, I grew up in a home where my mother, for whatever reason, couldn't have children. Um, and we constantly heard about all her failed pregnancies and her female problems. And, um, you know, I think sometimes those are really big shoes for someone like me to fill. You know, I think that she, as much as she enjoyed having children, I don't know really how much she enjoyed having children....
Michael grew up in Coney Island, Brooklyn, NY. He led a comfortable life in the Williams loving home when he accidentally discovered, at 12 years old, that he was adopted. The discovery that he actually had another identity created conflict in him, especially during his teen aged years. With spontaneity, tenacity, and a fair bit of luck Michael was able to track down the phone number for a long lost cousin in NY. She sounded the alarm to the family that Michael had found her, and a series of holiday season reunions ensued. But his reunification was not without its resentment. Over the course of two decades he satisfied his curiosity to uncover every detail he could about who he really is. It was an emotional journey of discovery that led him all they way to his family’s roots in the South. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/019-michael-w/ (019 – Adoption Was Chapter Two Of My Life, I Had To Learn About Chapter One) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Michael (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/XIQ5KHaNCVM65gP25EFJzAbbxu5lz94f9Y3gjjS7W5R6Bz6nOjziRz66Wxje9_UIIcP30KMgPRRz4n_FSHyAJALzzo4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2.44 (00:02)): The only thing I can think of was like going to the motherland. America is a nation of still with immigrants, but there is a mother country, ancestrally speaking, so whether you are going to come from Poland, Ireland, Africa or wherever. When you go back to those things, there's something grounding, something that anchors you and it did for me because I'm looking at this woman. I'm like my life story begin with this woman. It all started in her womb. Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/XIQ5KHaNCVM65gP25EFJzAbbxu5lz94f9Y3gjjS7W5R6Bz6nOjziRz66Wxje9_UIIcP30KMgPRRz4n_FSHyAJALzzo4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=38.31 (00:38)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/XIQ5KHaNCVM65gP25EFJzAbbxu5lz94f9Y3gjjS7W5R6Bz6nOjziRz66Wxje9_UIIcP30KMgPRRz4n_FSHyAJALzzo4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=49.71 (00:49)): This is Who Am I, Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, I'm Damon Davis on today's show. I'm joined by Michael who grew up in Coney Island, Brooklyn, New York. Michael was living a comfortable life in the Williams loving home when he accidentally discovered that he was adopted at 12 years old. The discovery that he actually had, another identity created conflict in him during his teenage years. With spontaneity, tenacity, and a fair bit of luck, Michael was able to track down the phone number for a long lost cousin in New York. Over the course of two decades, he satisfied his curiosity to uncover every detail he could about who he really is. It was an emotional journey of discovery all the way to his family's roots in the South. We pick up Michael's journey at the beginning, as a child. Michael was raised with six siblings, some biological to each other and many foster children who moved in and out of their home over the years. His parents cultivated a family environment for everyone, including him. Michael (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/XIQ5KHaNCVM65gP25EFJzAbbxu5lz94f9Y3gjjS7W5R6Bz6nOjziRz66Wxje9_UIIcP30KMgPRRz4n_FSHyAJALzzo4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=125.76 (02:05)): In my world, I, I always, you know, thought that I was born in Brooklyn. That was my starting point and of course later on, I discovered that I had adopted into the family, but I was, I started as before as the Williams foster child and my adoption, wasn't made final until I was six years old. Even at that point, there was never any differentiation between, Oh these are the biological children, oh these are the adopted children, oh these are the foster children. Cause, I mean, growing up in a household, dad was still with foster kids coming in and out, not ever realizing that I had was in their shoes. Damon...
Jennifer had a very happy childhood and always felt special because she was an adoptee; she knew her parents really wanted her. Their family was heavily involved with the Children’s Home Society in Los Angeles where her mother did fund-raising work. Jennifer so appreciated her loving parents for their lifetime of love and support, but as she got older, she had a feeling that she would be close to her birth mother and that she was likely more like her than her adopted mother. After her own son had a positive reunion experience with a daughter he fathered years ago, Jennifer decided she would make an an attempt at reunion herself. On pure luck she was given year’s worth of microfiche data that had her family tree’s information. Jennifer’s mother had always hoped for their reunion, and even welcomed Jennifer’s adopted brother into their family too. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/016-jennifer-p/ (016 – Shall we Cry? No, Let’s Just Laugh!) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Jennifer (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/NbSaS-KGSXjvLsYW5XqIwnlqAJAx9jIyzBpdugoCcK8Lb03AwYioRjnopNYffs7HhdjxkZKPzj-Ln0vulRTqbp8kcKo?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3.36 (00:03)): I personally feel like my contract with her as a soul was to get her out of that situation and her to give me a healthy body, which she has done. Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/NbSaS-KGSXjvLsYW5XqIwnlqAJAx9jIyzBpdugoCcK8Lb03AwYioRjnopNYffs7HhdjxkZKPzj-Ln0vulRTqbp8kcKo?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=18.88 (00:18)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/NbSaS-KGSXjvLsYW5XqIwnlqAJAx9jIyzBpdugoCcK8Lb03AwYioRjnopNYffs7HhdjxkZKPzj-Ln0vulRTqbp8kcKo?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=30.28 (00:30)): This is, Who Am I, Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, I'm Damon Davis and on the show today is Jennifer. She says she grew up perfectly happy as an adoptee and never really had a desire to search for her biological family. Jennifer says that her own children kind of pushed her to search because they were interested in their own biological heritage, but it wasn't quite enough to propel her forward. Then their family experienced the separate reunification that had been such a positive experience. Jennifer began to think perhaps she should seek out her own biological family too. She didn't think she'd have much success in her search because she had a closed adoption in California, but going online proved to be a highly efficient way to find way more than she bargained for. And very quickly too. Jennifer starts us off in the beginning of her journey. She always knew she was adopted and her family was heavily involved with the children's home society. So adoption was a comfortable topic in their home. Jennifer (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/NbSaS-KGSXjvLsYW5XqIwnlqAJAx9jIyzBpdugoCcK8Lb03AwYioRjnopNYffs7HhdjxkZKPzj-Ln0vulRTqbp8kcKo?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=98.9 (01:38)): I always felt like, Oh, I'm adopted, I'm special. I felt very positive about it, you know, I know a lot of people don't, my brother didn't feel that way, but for me I was always, always fine with it. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/NbSaS-KGSXjvLsYW5XqIwnlqAJAx9jIyzBpdugoCcK8Lb03AwYioRjnopNYffs7HhdjxkZKPzj-Ln0vulRTqbp8kcKo?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=111.76 (01:51)): So what happened for you that made you decide to search. I mean you sound like you had a great upbringing. You are perfectly comfortable in adoption. So it wasn't as though there were some ringing alarms that were saying, Hey, you need to go look for somebody. What, what changed your mind or, or how did your mind develop into wanting to search? Jennifer...
Tom advocates for adoptee rights and shares his personal experiences about being adopted. He was adopted as an infant and things went so well his parents decided to adopt two older boys when Tom was two years old. Their adoption is where his trouble started. Life became chaotic in their home because the older boys were difficult for his parents to control. Tom was feeling sidelined. Sadly, one of the older boys sexually abused him resulting in issues he’s dealt with most of his life. Searching to repair his past he sought counseling, connected with his biological mother, and tracked down his biological father. But Tom was never quite able to gain the sense of belonging he was searching for. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/012-tom-a/ (012 – I Need This For My Sanity) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Tom (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/kMOWYPYEldugSEc1LLcIJ6wvedKAM_1PwoxoPRBe1sPvRPh8gr8YNvvqmDDm2ks1AVfyxnEiX6t9_v5ztECCKfSRmho?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3.36 (00:03)): You know, I knew more and more it was him. Wrote a third letter and basically said, look, I'm not after your money. I'm not looking to disturb your family, but I, I need this for my own sanity. I need to, I need to know and, and I'd like to meet you if I can. Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/kMOWYPYEldugSEc1LLcIJ6wvedKAM_1PwoxoPRBe1sPvRPh8gr8YNvvqmDDm2ks1AVfyxnEiX6t9_v5ztECCKfSRmho?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=25.56 (00:25)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/kMOWYPYEldugSEc1LLcIJ6wvedKAM_1PwoxoPRBe1sPvRPh8gr8YNvvqmDDm2ks1AVfyxnEiX6t9_v5ztECCKfSRmho?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=36.99 (00:36)): This is Who Am I, Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon and on the show today, I'm joined by Tom. Tom advocates for adoptee rights and shares his personal experiences about being adopted online. He shared with me that he was adopted as an infant and things went so well that his parents decided to adopt two older boys when he was two, but that's when the trouble started. He says, life became chaotic in their home because the other boys were difficult for his parents to control leaving Tom feeling sidelined, resulting in issues he dealt with his entire life ever since. Searching to repair his past, he sought counseling, connected with his biological mother and tracked down his biological father, but Tom was never quite able to gain the sense of belonging he was searching for. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/kMOWYPYEldugSEc1LLcIJ6wvedKAM_1PwoxoPRBe1sPvRPh8gr8YNvvqmDDm2ks1AVfyxnEiX6t9_v5ztECCKfSRmho?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=89.25 (01:29)): Tom, thanks for taking time to talk to me this morning. I appreciate it. Tom (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/kMOWYPYEldugSEc1LLcIJ6wvedKAM_1PwoxoPRBe1sPvRPh8gr8YNvvqmDDm2ks1AVfyxnEiX6t9_v5ztECCKfSRmho?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=93.24 (01:33)): Absolutely. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/kMOWYPYEldugSEc1LLcIJ6wvedKAM_1PwoxoPRBe1sPvRPh8gr8YNvvqmDDm2ks1AVfyxnEiX6t9_v5ztECCKfSRmho?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=94.17 (01:34)): Now I've been seeing some of the thought leaders that are out there and your name continues to come up as somebody who's advocating for a lot of adoptee rights and you're a prolific writer about your own feelings and your own story. Tom (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/kMOWYPYEldugSEc1LLcIJ6wvedKAM_1PwoxoPRBe1sPvRPh8gr8YNvvqmDDm2ks1AVfyxnEiX6t9_v5ztECCKfSRmho?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=108.42 (01:48)): Oh, not a problem at all. I do the writing to try to help others and we'll see how that goes. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/kMOWYPYEldugSEc1LLcIJ6wvedKAM_1PwoxoPRBe1sPvRPh8gr8YNvvqmDDm2ks1AVfyxnEiX6t9_v5ztECCKfSRmho?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=114.71 (01:54)): Yeah, yeah, it's helpful for me to read some of your thoughts and some of...
Steve was raised in Baltimore, MD in a predominantly Jewish suburban neighborhood. But as he looked around at his friends and other families, he truly questioned his own identity, especially as an adoptee. In an era before electronic record keeping, Steve used his street savvy to buy the information he needed about himself in order to advance his search for his biological family. More crafty thinking led Steve right to his biological mother’s front door. He wanted to meet her, but not necessarily reveal that he was her son. He knocked on her door with a story that should have gotten him sent on his way. Instead she invited him in! Just wait until you hear his crafty approach to introducing himself to his biological mother, and the truth about his European heritage. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/010-steve-h/ (010 – How Can I Meet Her Without Telling Her Who I Am?) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Steve (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/oCr3_Cobxpxna8xnX9Eso3a5TGrnBm4_rMh-VXOnUtKfDaeZtLLlueMSXFegCzB4cXXb4IhTj93Q2BaZZJ4B0KafVC8?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=4.84 (00:04)): My biggest question to my parents who raised me was always, are you sure? Are you 100% sure that I'm Jewish? And I'm looking in the mirror, I'm thinking, I don't look like anybody in this neighborhood. Yeah, I knew I wasn't Jewish and I wanted to know what my background was. Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/oCr3_Cobxpxna8xnX9Eso3a5TGrnBm4_rMh-VXOnUtKfDaeZtLLlueMSXFegCzB4cXXb4IhTj93Q2BaZZJ4B0KafVC8?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=27.47 (00:27)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/oCr3_Cobxpxna8xnX9Eso3a5TGrnBm4_rMh-VXOnUtKfDaeZtLLlueMSXFegCzB4cXXb4IhTj93Q2BaZZJ4B0KafVC8?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=38.89 (00:38)): This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members? Hey, it's Damon and today you're going to hear Steve's journey. He has family history in Baltimore, Maryland, but his biological roots go back to Chicago, Illinois. Steve says that he was a bit of a juvenile delinquent when he was a teen and quite the opposite of his siblings, one who was a jock, the other who was a scholar, but it turned out those street skills and crafty thinking were just the tools he needed to locate and connect with his biological mother. I can't wait until you hear just how he did it. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/oCr3_Cobxpxna8xnX9Eso3a5TGrnBm4_rMh-VXOnUtKfDaeZtLLlueMSXFegCzB4cXXb4IhTj93Q2BaZZJ4B0KafVC8?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=78.28 (01:18)): Steve, I'm super glad to be connected to you, man. I appreciate you accepting the invitation to chat a little bit. You've got quite an amazing story, but I'd love for you to take me back to your early childhood. Tell me about what it was like in your family as an adoptee, what your structure was like and your family and what your community was like and how you fit into the community as an adoptee. Steve (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/oCr3_Cobxpxna8xnX9Eso3a5TGrnBm4_rMh-VXOnUtKfDaeZtLLlueMSXFegCzB4cXXb4IhTj93Q2BaZZJ4B0KafVC8?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=102.04 (01:42)): Perfect. Yeah, I'll start off was saying, you know, my adoptive parents, I'll start off with them, uh, to give you a little idea why they even went the adoption routes, but they, they were a Jewish couple. Uh, they were married in the late forties. They decided to start a family probably somewhere around 1950, 51, and they obviously could not conceive. So, um, they decided to go the adoption route. Okay. Then what makes this whole story interesting is that my parents were Jewish and they wanted to adopt a Jewish baby. So I'm thinking to myself, what are the odds on them finding a bunch of Jewish babies out there in this world? How do you even go about that? That's what they wanted because they wanted to stick with it, you know, their religious tradition and...
In adoption, Julie grew up in the Midwest with a family of trans racial adoptees. Her brothers are adopted from Vietnam, and her sister is white. Each of them has a different perspective on searching for their biological families. Julie has always been curious. She told me that in the moments after her son was born and he was placed in her arms, she could forgive her biological mother, and release the anger she previously felt about her rejection. In that moment, she clearly understood the everlasting bond of a mother to her child. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/006-julie-r/ (006 – I Forgave Her When My Son Was Born) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Julie (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/gc-ycAL_VRYtt6lQkTt2ovQolVfQax5o_bvFwV9L0qnaSPgL3wWRMs4mCL4JdmUBGhbVCRNgArwiY2RmROqslC6X9QA?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=0.22 (00:00)): Yeah. When I had my son, like the moment I gave birth to him, I will say like the second he was placed in my arm and my first thought was at my birth mom and I just, I, I let go of all the anger. Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/gc-ycAL_VRYtt6lQkTt2ovQolVfQax5o_bvFwV9L0qnaSPgL3wWRMs4mCL4JdmUBGhbVCRNgArwiY2RmROqslC6X9QA?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=21.04 (00:21)): Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/gc-ycAL_VRYtt6lQkTt2ovQolVfQax5o_bvFwV9L0qnaSPgL3wWRMs4mCL4JdmUBGhbVCRNgArwiY2RmROqslC6X9QA?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=32.42 (00:32)): This is Who Am I Really, a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon and in this show. I had the great pleasure of catching up with my old friend Julie. We met over 10 years ago and as it often happens with me, we bonded over being adoptees, but she was already seeking her biological family and had been at it for a long time when we met. When we first knew one another, she had located her family of origin and her social worker had been in touch with them, but for some reason they had not actually made the connection. Julie moved away so I never got to hear what happened next for her. I've wondered about Julie for years. So today she finally satisfied my curiosity. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/gc-ycAL_VRYtt6lQkTt2ovQolVfQax5o_bvFwV9L0qnaSPgL3wWRMs4mCL4JdmUBGhbVCRNgArwiY2RmROqslC6X9QA?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=77.27 (01:17)): Thank you so much for taking time to join me for this. I have been so excited to talk to you for like years. Honestly. I mean, you'll recall you and I first met back. What was that? Julie (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/gc-ycAL_VRYtt6lQkTt2ovQolVfQax5o_bvFwV9L0qnaSPgL3wWRMs4mCL4JdmUBGhbVCRNgArwiY2RmROqslC6X9QA?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=89.89 (01:29)): 2003. Yep. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/gc-ycAL_VRYtt6lQkTt2ovQolVfQax5o_bvFwV9L0qnaSPgL3wWRMs4mCL4JdmUBGhbVCRNgArwiY2RmROqslC6X9QA?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=89.89 (01:29)): We bonded over being adoptees. I recall one of the conversations that we had around the fact that you had begun to search for your biological family. So I'm really excited to hear the update because I, I've honestly, I've thought about you off and on for years wondering how your story unfolded. So I, I can't wait to get to the end, but for right now, what I'd love for you to do is just take me back to the beginning. Tell me a little bit about, you know, how you grew up, where you grew up, what your family structure was like, and just generally how it was being an adoptee in your family. Julie (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/gc-ycAL_VRYtt6lQkTt2ovQolVfQax5o_bvFwV9L0qnaSPgL3wWRMs4mCL4JdmUBGhbVCRNgArwiY2RmROqslC6X9QA?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=127.48 (02:07)): Sure. So I was born in Chicago and, and immediately placed into foster care because my birth mom knew that she wasn't going to keep me. And I'll give you some backstory and a little bit of on that side of the family. But in my, um, in my adoptive...
Terry shared the story of his biological parents’ wartime extra marital affair that brought him to life. He said his adopted parents felt he was “the sun the moon and the stars”, and spoiled him that way. As a teen, Terry wanted to apply for a job and needed his birth certificate from his parents. But that simple request worried his mother deeply about her place in his heart because she thought he was beginning a search for his biological family. He didn’t connect with his biological mother until his own parents were in failing health, but what an emotional day it was when he did finally meet his first mom! The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/005-terry-c/ (005 – Part of Her Memory That She Lost Was Me) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Terry: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/kK6zo1uFgeTdE4st0XN2X-acC4t8M3zZxwIkcFk6wxAa5m7jmFPfc6uNOnqVYsPQmphtgsmwolbewtp8iugJErsKd7U?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2.12 (00:02) My Mom, her dad are dying and I'm going to beat my birth mother for the first time and my two half sisters that I've never met before. So I pulled up and Mary came out and we hug, but she was very, I don't want to say distant, but she certainly wasn't real warm. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/kK6zo1uFgeTdE4st0XN2X-acC4t8M3zZxwIkcFk6wxAa5m7jmFPfc6uNOnqVYsPQmphtgsmwolbewtp8iugJErsKd7U?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=27.05 (00:27) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/kK6zo1uFgeTdE4st0XN2X-acC4t8M3zZxwIkcFk6wxAa5m7jmFPfc6uNOnqVYsPQmphtgsmwolbewtp8iugJErsKd7U?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=34.16 (00:34) Who am I? Who am I? This is who am I really a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon on the show today is Terry who located his biological family at a time before the Internet allowed easy searches for facts and information. He was born in the 1940s a time of war for our country, but it's also when his story begins and his journey, you'll hear about his path to learning who he is in so many ways and a very emotional day that he met his biological mother for the first time. I've been really excited to talk to you since Carmen may the introduction, so thanks for making time. Tell me a little bit about your childhood and your community, a little bit about your family and just generally how you grew up as an adoptee. Terry: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/kK6zo1uFgeTdE4st0XN2X-acC4t8M3zZxwIkcFk6wxAa5m7jmFPfc6uNOnqVYsPQmphtgsmwolbewtp8iugJErsKd7U?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=86.8 (01:26) Well, um, my parents had tried to, uh, have a child for like nine years and they were unsuccessful. They had a good friend. My mom's best friend, um, had a boarder in her house who's husband had gone to war and, uh, she was having an affair and I was the result of that affair. So when her husband came home, uh, he was pretty upset about the fact that she was pregnant and my moms friend knew that they'd been trying to have a kid,...
Growing up in Leah’s home everyone was comfortable with adoption. Her adopted mom is an adoptee, and her two siblings are adoptees, though they are biologically related to one another. The kids were made to feel special because her parents chose them. But no matter how much love an adoptee receives, sometimes knowing that their origins are with another set of parents can fuel undeniable desires to try to learn more about themself. In Leah’s story, she was at a moment in her life when she wasn’t actively searching when her c0-worker’s luck online changed everything in an instant. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/004-leah-l/ (004 – Lucky Online, Connecting When You’re Not Even Looking) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Leah: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/X7oLfATYb14xkA1aq_0Zn365Bz69Ift5P8t5PdTDH1Twt2namYATOZNqh4VqqLrOTNa4psAL6e65n9cBvmqpSeJLjgg?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=1.81 (00:01) So my search kind of stopped there for some time. It really stopped for probably 10 years or so before I was even really looking again, I kind of decided at that point, look what I have in my fantasy is all I need. I don't necessarily want the truth. That truth may not be what I want to hear. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/X7oLfATYb14xkA1aq_0Zn365Bz69Ift5P8t5PdTDH1Twt2namYATOZNqh4VqqLrOTNa4psAL6e65n9cBvmqpSeJLjgg?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=24.06 (00:24) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/X7oLfATYb14xkA1aq_0Zn365Bz69Ift5P8t5PdTDH1Twt2namYATOZNqh4VqqLrOTNa4psAL6e65n9cBvmqpSeJLjgg?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=35.31 (00:35) This is "Who Am I Really" a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon and on today's show I'm joined by Leah. Now we've all been online and found ourselves going down what seems like a rabbit hole content that's automatically fed to us. But what if that rabbit hole led you straight to your family of origin? In Leah's case, after years of searching on and off for her relatives, it turned out that she just needed a little bit of luck online. I'm so glad that Andrea was able to connect us. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/X7oLfATYb14xkA1aq_0Zn365Bz69Ift5P8t5PdTDH1Twt2namYATOZNqh4VqqLrOTNa4psAL6e65n9cBvmqpSeJLjgg?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=79.06 (01:19) So tell me a little bit about your family growing up, your family structure and you know, as an adoptee where you fell in your family and how it was in your community. Leah: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/X7oLfATYb14xkA1aq_0Zn365Bz69Ift5P8t5PdTDH1Twt2namYATOZNqh4VqqLrOTNa4psAL6e65n9cBvmqpSeJLjgg?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=91.59 (01:31) Yeah. Well I was adopted at six months of...
Kathleen grew up with five siblings, and they were all biologically related to her parents–she was the only adoptee! As a child she was told that she was adopted, but it didn’t quite sink in until the topic of adoption came up in conversation and her mother reminded her, “you’re adopted too.” But what blew my mind was how the search for her first family wasn’t originated by her, her family found her and knew exactly where to look The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/003-kathleen-m/ (003 – When the Search Finds You) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Kathleen: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/prv9wVvTWzZRvxW7Pm2ShA2WuGlSPd57t6uQcdZlzRJX3IyDrHkFV6wcUI4kJ__giG0fEK64-ufxuxKpbQfJHCIeTaE?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=0.02 (00:00) You meet people your whole life. You meet friends, you meet new family members, people are born, people die, but meeting someone who is your actual biological parent after you're already, you know, at this point I was 18 years old is a very, very strange thing. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/prv9wVvTWzZRvxW7Pm2ShA2WuGlSPd57t6uQcdZlzRJX3IyDrHkFV6wcUI4kJ__giG0fEK64-ufxuxKpbQfJHCIeTaE?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=19.32 (00:19) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/prv9wVvTWzZRvxW7Pm2ShA2WuGlSPd57t6uQcdZlzRJX3IyDrHkFV6wcUI4kJ__giG0fEK64-ufxuxKpbQfJHCIeTaE?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=30.73 (00:30) This is "Who Am I, Really" a podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon on today's show. I'm joined by Kathleen. Her journey as an adoptee is amazing because while she wanted to search for her family of origin, the search actually came to her at a very young age. You're not going to believe how Kathleen's story unfolded and you'll hear just how fortunate she feels for how things turned out. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/prv9wVvTWzZRvxW7Pm2ShA2WuGlSPd57t6uQcdZlzRJX3IyDrHkFV6wcUI4kJ__giG0fEK64-ufxuxKpbQfJHCIeTaE?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=69.96 (01:09) I appreciate you taking time to do the show. Take me back to the beginning. I know you and I talked a little bit before, but take me back to the beginning. Tell me a little bit about your background, about growing up, where you were and what your community was like, what your family was like and your, your family structure. Kathleen: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/prv9wVvTWzZRvxW7Pm2ShA2WuGlSPd57t6uQcdZlzRJX3IyDrHkFV6wcUI4kJ__giG0fEK64-ufxuxKpbQfJHCIeTaE?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=86.47 (01:26) Okay. So I was raised mostly in Racine, Wisconsin, and I was the youngest of six children. Uh, it was a big Irish Catholic family and I was the only of the six to be adopted actually....
I’ve shared an adoptee bond with my dear high school friend Andre for years. In this episode, Andre shares the story of his loving adopted family, being the older sibling to his adopted parent’s biological son, and the truth about how he came into this world. His biological mother never forgot him and honored his life every year. Andre: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/b7CODb9t6EbuzWLlsB0Za-uulHngfVMvHP9wvURf-o5f23sABGIfelW29awvs2ia14u73H7rHSn7VHvX-xPBRP4RDc4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2.71 (00:02) You go up to the judge, she has my case. She opens this Manila folder and I was like, there it is, like I'm this close. So then she proceeds to go through and she says that, you know, I have information here but you can't have it. Voices: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/b7CODb9t6EbuzWLlsB0Za-uulHngfVMvHP9wvURf-o5f23sABGIfelW29awvs2ia14u73H7rHSn7VHvX-xPBRP4RDc4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=23.56 (00:23) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I? Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/b7CODb9t6EbuzWLlsB0Za-uulHngfVMvHP9wvURf-o5f23sABGIfelW29awvs2ia14u73H7rHSn7VHvX-xPBRP4RDc4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=34.89 (00:34) This is Who Am I Really? A podcast about adoptees that have located and connected with their biological family members. Hey, it's Damon and on today's show I was lucky to be joined by my old friend Andre. We've known one another for more than 25 years, going back to high school and at that time as young men, we both discovered that the other was adopted too and we were instantly connected. In our conversation, you'll hear some of that old school brotherly love, but you'll also hear some really poignant moments when the fact that he's an adoptee was revealed to his brother and the difficult news he learned about how he came into the world. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/b7CODb9t6EbuzWLlsB0Za-uulHngfVMvHP9wvURf-o5f23sABGIfelW29awvs2ia14u73H7rHSn7VHvX-xPBRP4RDc4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=81.14 (01:21) First, Andre, I want to welcome you to the show. Thanks for coming. Andre: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/b7CODb9t6EbuzWLlsB0Za-uulHngfVMvHP9wvURf-o5f23sABGIfelW29awvs2ia14u73H7rHSn7VHvX-xPBRP4RDc4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=83.64 (01:23) Thank you for having me, Damon. Damon: https://www.temi.com/editor/t/b7CODb9t6EbuzWLlsB0Za-uulHngfVMvHP9wvURf-o5f23sABGIfelW29awvs2ia14u73H7rHSn7VHvX-xPBRP4RDc4?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=84.72 (01:24) So glad you could do it. So tell me a little bit about your family growing up. Just start from the beginning as a young guy, tell me a little bit about...
I’m devoting this program dedicated to helping people placed into adoption to explore their own emotions, desires, and questions about reuniting with their biological family by asking others like us to tell their own true stories. I’m so thankful for the life that my adopted parents gave me, but I also had the incredibly good fortune to be reunited with my biological mother in 2009. Our story is amazing to me because our reunification unfolded in a way that I never could have predicted. However everyone’s search and discovery journey is different and we’ll share an array of stories in this podcast. Read Full TranscriptDamon: 00:09 Hi, I’m Damon Davis and I’m launching a new podcast series called, Who Am I Really? I’m devoting this program to helping people placed into adoption to explore their own emotions, desires, and questions about reuniting with their biological family by asking others like us to tell their own true stories. You’re probably asking yourself who I am and why I launched this podcast. First, let me say, I grew up in a very loving home with my adoptive mother, Veronica, supported by my adoptive father, Willy they’re just mom and dad to me, and I love them dearly for everything they did, large and small. That gave me the opportunities to be the man that I am today, but I also had the incredibly good fortune to be reunited with my biological mother in 2009. Our story is amazing to me because our reunification unfolded in a way that I never could have predicted. Damon: 01:04 A few things happened to me that really sparked my desire to search. One of the first influences happened during a visit with my inlaws in Baltimore, Maryland. My wife’s distant aunt welcomed us into her home one day. This lovely elderly woman opened the door, greeted us, toting her small wheeled oxygen tank behind her. As we sat in her living room, she spread pictures, newspaper clippings and letters on the coffee table. She told stories about the family’s history in a way that only she could recount them as what I viewed as the unofficial family historian, but that experience made me realize that one day she would no longer be with us and if another person tried to spread the same family historical facts in the same way they could not tell the family story the way that she had. It dawned on me that when she passed away, the ability to weave the family history that she knew would be lost and I should act quickly if I didn’t want the same to happen in my biological family. Damon: 02:07 When I decided to launch the search, my social worker in Baltimore shared something from her experience that I hadn’t thought about before. She said that women tend to search for their family of origin sooner than men do and that men search most often after they’ve had their own children. That was me. A short time after my wife gave birth to our son, I was at home alone with him, gazing on him with sheer amazement at this little dude we had created. He laid there on his back, kicked his legs, and waved his arms and stared up at me. In that moment by ourselves, I whispered to Seth with tears in my eyes, you’re the first blood relative I have ever known. As I talked to more people about their stories of searching and discovery, I’ve learned so much about...