What's Lightsabers, Precious?: Recent Episodes
Joanna and Ryan
In this inspirational, hyper-informational encyclopodcast, husband-and-wife team Ryan and Joanna attempt to explain their respective nerd passions to each other. Each week, Joanna schools Ryan on one topic drawn from the web's oldest J.R.R. Tolkien resource, the Encyclopedia of Arda. In return, Ryan learns Joanna a thing or two about one topic drawn from the deliriously comprehensive Star Wars database, Wookieepedia. Will they turn each other into Lord of the Rings and Star Wars aficionados or get swallowed alive by two of the most complex fictional universes of all time? There's only one way to find out!
EMERGENCY POD! What happens when you get a chance to adapt Tolkien's epic for Leningrad TV with no budget, two horses, and a prog rock band right before the fall of the Soviet Union? Khraniteli, the recently excavated 1991 2-part miniseries! It's a weird one, so buckle up, buddies!
SPOILER WARNING! In this special episode we talk in-depth about Rise of Skywalker and The Mandalorian, but mostly about Klaud the Banana Slug Monster.
In this special episode, we pay respects and look back on the life and career of Christopher "Daddy's Books" Tolkien, the patron saint of the Middle-Earth half of this podcast. Plus, important info about the future of the show!
How long have Gimli and Loki been dating? How do you teach Darth Maul about Christmas? Answers to these questions, plus pregnant Frodo, Luke Skywalker in Barbie pajamas, and other holiday tales to warm the cockles of your heart.
How was the Witch-King like Elsa? Canonically, how many toes does a Yoda have? Answers to these questions, plus flossing, Balto discussion, and Werner Herzog telling it like is.
What's the hoary history of where hobbits habitate? What's the backstory behind the bounty hunting beskar badasses? Answers to these questions, plus Witch-King waggery, anti-Jedi jetpacks, and yet more yarns from Yahoo Answers.
What were Morgoth's bud holes like? What happens when you mix Titanic, 2001, and WarGames with a sprinkle of terrible decisions? Answers to these questions, plus shilling for Disney, loving lamps, and the glorious return of Dash "The Man" Rendar.
How is Mordor like Florida? How many chapter cliffhangers involving bugs can your book have before actually being scary? Answers to these questions, plus a rare Lord of the Rings-Star Wars news crossover, Tolkien's heavy metal streak, and the return of the skimboard.
It's time to get SPOOKY! What's scarier - naked Nazgul or Clay Aiken? When will Tash Arranda learn the meaning of stranger danger? Answers to these questions, plus THE SPARAT WALD, Boba Fett being cool, and seriously, Clay Aiken?
Does Bombur have a personality besides "fat guy?" Who's the shrewd blue dude Disney was wooed to include? Answers to these questions, plus in-depth discussions of Force Friday, real Norwegian TV shows, and art appreciation gone wrong.
What are the secret origins of J.R.R. Tolkien's breezy children's novel "The Hobbit?" Why should Splinter of the Mind's Eye actually be a movie? Answers to these questions, plus pacifist coward heroes, DBZ battles, and cool teen boys at the movie theater.
Regarding Sauron's rings of power, who wore it better - elves, dwarves, or men? How do you write a low-budget sequel to one of the biggest blockbusters of all time? Answers to these questions, plus more baffling musical cues, the dreaded return of horny paragraphs, and two separate references to Kamala Harris being a cop.
Did Pippin have god-like powers in the Swedish Lord of the Rings? Who is Ratio Tile and what does he have to do with the Presbyterian Hopeless Situation Warriors? Answers to these questions, plus Master Thief King, Reaching the West of Reaches, and some actual interesting stories from the world of language translation.
Rotoscoping: the economical future of animation or weird uncanny garbage? Is using literal Nazi propaganda to represent evil a little too on-the-nose? Answers to these questions, plus butterfly balrogs, fairies vs. Hitler, and the secret origin of the WLP theme song in our NICEest episode yet.
How is 9/11 connected to Lord of the Rings' satantic agenda? Is there a religion out there that allows one to wear a hood in public? Answers to these questions, plus taking a stand, George W. Bush's magic ring, and the Dark Mageocracy.
How did a fresh-faced extra launch a fandom phenomenon? Is a greedy, big-nosed human trafficker a problematic character? Answers to these questions, plus medicine balls, vintage 2000s internet posts, and the art of the deal.
Who deserves a Middle-Earth's Greatest Dad coffee mug? Would anyone actually read something titled Document CO(CL) 56-95? Answers to these questions, plus ninnyhammers, Shirley Temple bugs, and Khan, all in this special Father's Day episode guest starring Joanna's mom!
Who the heck is Sharkey? How is Gragra the Gorgmonger the unsung hero of Mos Espa? Answers to these questions, plus Glorfy Baby, Dex's flying diner, and character actor Bruce Spence.
How would the DSM describe Smeagol's mental state? Are AT-ATs just walking death traps? Answers to these scientific queries, plus red tickets, Aragorn's arterial partial pressure, and Australian tank-men.
The conclusion to the WORST NAME CHALLENGE THUNDERDOME has arrived! We count down the contenders from best to worst and discuss our adventure into Detroit's SPACE DIVE. 28 names enter, 1 leaves... AS THE WORST!
Which dreamy brother caused Pippin to go through puberty? How far can you push Looney Tunes references before it becomes unbearable? Answers to these questions, plus spires, weird elf twins, and furry crack teams.
Can one act of bro-ish one-upsmanship end a line of kings? Should you be wary if a pilot droid offers to show you "something neat?" Answers to these questions, plus TEN THOUSAND YEARS, references to Ruben Studdard, and the shocking truth behind Joanna's Mountain Dew experience.
Can you call yourself an anarchist if you support the idea of a stamp-lovin' king? What do Max Rebo and Celine Dion have in common? Answers to these questions, plus hot dugs, Secret Stoner Saruman, and the iconic cargo shorts of Droopy McCool.
With Ryan parasailing with manatees in Florida, Joanna takes it upon herself to eat some chips! Oh, and also call up her friend and fellow Tolkien nerd Teresa to discuss the Tolkien exhibit at the Morgan Museum in NYC. What do World War I, seven-year-old boys sitting on their infant sisters, and a strange man who can't stop talking about Watership Down have in common? They all featured in this exhibit--listen to learn more!
Can you justify being a deadbeat dad if you're secretly fighting Sauron? What would Freud say about Jabba making a dancer look like his mom-dad? Answers to these questions, plus trees & seas, Gamorrean detective work, and the conclusion to the Worst Name Challenge (for now!)
DARK GREETINGS!!! KYLO REN HAS ARRIVED WITH YOUR DAILY DOSE OF DESPAIR IN THE KYLOCAST!!! THIS WEEK'S SEGMENTS: KYLO'S HIGH-LOWS REN-LATIONSHIP ADVICE BB-9E'S RANT OF THE WEEK PISSIN' ON THE RESISTANCE *KYLO RAPS DO YOU DARE LISTEN TO THESE DARK TRUTHS?? SHARE LIKE SUBSCRIBE OR SUFFER!!!
What happens when you have a son whose only mood is "boats"? How far will a traffic control droid go to get revenge? Answers to these questions, plus yacht rock, de wanna wanga, and ye.
What's an entwife look like? What do you get when Groot shops at Hot Topic? Answers to these questions, plus the truth about Lord Farquaad, girlfriend in the Brown Lands (you wouldn't know her), and an unidentified talking tree species.
What shocking revelations are contained in Tolkien's last recorded letter? Should you sleep with a H'menthe? Answers to these questions, plus lots of other fun facts about Tolkien's only friend, Sullustan skin care routines, and lots more as we spin the Random Article Roulette!
Would Gandalf's return be as glorious if he emerged from a shallow moat after biting the balrog? Is there anything in the rulebook that says a blob can't play golf? Answers to these questions, plus Gollum's spider dance, Ted Sandyman's Cookie Factory, and lots of completely original sportsgames.
How does one set up a tryst with a wizard on Weathertop? Is it possible for just your ears to melt off in a podracing crash? Answers to these questions, plus Pippin hating mpreg, man-sized balrogs with gorgeous hair, and lots of funny Star Wars noises.
What was the alternate, more heavy metal ending to Return of the King? Is Mara Jade incredibly cool or just a Mary Sue? Answers to these questions, plus Sam-dad, Tatooine as a right-to-work state, and some heartwarming reader's theater.
What is considered "magic" in Middle-Earth anyway? Is hyperspace really the safest way to travel? Answers to these questions, plus homeopathic evil, hyperspace buffalo, and lots and lots of song cues.
In this one-off special, Eric (of Vertiguys), Connor, Joanna and Ryan (of What's Lightsabers, Precious?) talk NINJA SCROLL, the 1993 anime movie with a lot of ninjas and a distinct lack of scrolls. Is it awesome, awful, or somewhere in-between? We aim to discover the truth in this amoral world!
WARNING: If you don't want to hear discussion of sexual situations or snakes in places they shouldn't be in regards to the female body, you might want to sit this one out.
A song about Prince Xizor being a pheromone pervert. Sung to the tune of "Suddenly, Seymour" from Little Shop of Horrors.
Are sheep better than men? Does a wookiee life debt entitle you to a wingman even if you're stuck in carbonite? Answers to these questions, plus a guy named after a crystal ball, slight hooting noises, and a couple of musical numbers.
Just how racist is Middle-Earth? What makes a relaxed-fit smuggler lose his swagger? Answers to these questions, plus wepwethentatives, BEARS SHOUTING, and gross paragraphs.
What phat loot dropped from the 40-man raid of Dagor Bragollach? How many incredibly cool and normal dudes can one introduce in a single book? Answers to these questions, plus Numenorian jellyfish, Breaking Bad analogies, and snacks.
Can male elves get pregnant? Who's a guy gotta kill to become the Pumpkin King? Answers to these questions, plus filk, sea longing, and other heartwarming holiday tales.
Who says princesses are for girls and starfighters are for boys? Do you want an Arwen doll or an X-wing toy? Your personal answers to these questions, plus semi-appropriate Disney songs, looking at plastic spaceships, and blowing up the Happy Meal dichotomy.
Is a troll that lives in a cave in the mountains a cave troll or mountain troll? What's Salacious Crumb's middle name? Answer to these questions, plus sqwiwwels, the high price of comedy, and pressing F to pay respects.
To celebrate our one-year podcast anniversary we created a game called HOBWOKS and played it with our special guests Abbey and Jack! Stay tuned for the Worst Name Challenge, a preview of what's to come, and completely real ads not recorded for comedy purposes!
Download HOBWOKS here: https://goo.gl/xRa8Rp
How does Middle-Earth calculate leap years? Where do egg babies come from? Answers to these questions, plus unfriends, pet teens, and Richard Slap.
How do you get the best reception with a palantir? Is it safe to meet with strangers from the Holonet? Answers to these questions, plus Sauron's buddy profile, Dannik Jerriko's FurAffinity, and Daddy Longshanks.
What's the most contentious argument in the Tolkien legendarium? Can a hologram eat a guy? Answers to these questions, plus balfrogs, poker night, and naming someone after a stomach gurgle in our last week of SPOOKY OCTOBER!
What category of ghost do the Dead Marshes fit into? Can you trust an organization called the Imperial Biological Welfare Division? Answers to these questions, plus two Sherlocks, monster blobs, and possibly our worst intro ever as Spooky October spooks along!
Why are there ghost dudes trapped in a mountain full of skulls? How do you retell Re-Animator for kids who love Star Wars? Answers to these questions, plus Isildur's giant dad, a trip in the Numenoran Delorean, and jetpacking away from conversations as SPOOKY OCTOBER continues!
What happens when the Witch King's demons gentrify your neighborhood? What's your creepy shape-shifting uncle doing all day? Answers to these questions, plus Tom Bombadil's fire tracks, Hey Chood, and other thrills and chills in our first installment of Spooky October!
Which fantasy animal did Tolkien introduce to the world? Why does a tauntaun stink so bad? The answers to these questions, plus demon possession, misguided attempts at camouflage, and Michael Fassbender.
New Yorker LOTR article: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2001/12/10/the-hobbit-habit Episode gallery: https://imgur.com/gallery/Mov2gmh Lucasarts Game Informer article: https://www.gameinformer.com/b/features/archive/2015/04/04/fall-of-the-empire-how-inner-turmoil-brought-down-a-legendary-studio.aspx
What's more important: pacing, or Riddles in the Dark? How fares the Star Wars prequel trilogy without the antics of Jar-Jar Binks? Is it really possible to successfully condense three movies into one? The answers to these questions as we dive into the world of fan-edits, plus mothagrams, identical boys, and a shocking upset in the Worst Name Challenge.
There and Back Again - https://thenamelesseditor.wordpress.com/ A Last Turn to the Dark Side - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N59gabo9lqc
Which Star Wars character drove a toddler to suicide? What was Tolkien's beef with cats? The answers to these questions, plus hints from Mark Hamill, calls to our mothers, and a crack-addicted dad who heard the devil laughing at him.
Why does everyone want to sniff Galadriel's hair? How did the founding fathers plagiarize Mon Mothma? Answers to these questions, plus trophy husbands, the canonical heights of fictional characters, and Bothan pies.
How do you tell someone to eff off in Elvish? How is C3PO like Mr. Mime? The answers to these questions, plus Billy Madison parallels, hopefully-interesting discussions about grammar, and our very first Worst Name Challenge!
What happens when you send nine dudes with attitude to the wraith world? How is a 20,000-year-old plant monster a feminist icon? The answers to these questions, plus in-depth interviews with screamin' fiends and gurgle pits.
Sarlacc cross-section: http://wiki.starwarsminute.com/images/4/43/Sarlacc_cross-section.jpg
In our most G-rated, family-friendly episode to date, we discuss Elves and their good Catholic values, aliens and their completely non-butt-shaped faces, and a genre of music that in no way sounds like something dirty. It's a happy, shiny, all-holds-barred deep-dive into decency and morals that will never in a million years get blocked by content-scanning robots on social media. Strap in and prepare for a mild ride!
Who are the unsung heroes of the Star Wars production? When did Frodo Baggins straight-up murder a dog? The answers to these questions, plus New Zealand rednecks, ponies with poor body image, and the shocking truth behind Trotter's shoes.
The Secret History of Star Wars by Michael Kaminski: http://a.co/fAbePpT Deleted Magic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2r4Nffrc6Y Luke as a girl: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/f9/11/01/f9110119c0b71d280d6cf19824aae025.jpg
What kind of hero cold clocks a princess in the jaw? What kind of villain names his pony after himself? The answers to these questions, plus goop, casual grave robbing, and bickering DMV employees.
Since when did Bilbo Baggins have a wife? Since when was Star Wars about Vietnam? The answers to these questions, plus Chuie Two Thorpe, Bingo Bolger-Baggins, Beber Fever, and George Lucas' long-suffering friend Jeff.
It's another special edition of WLPRPG - the show where we play roleplaying games based on the fictional worlds our podcast dissects! This week we're finishing our Tolkien-themed game of Dungeon World, with Joanna as game master and Ryan as Raechil the trust-fund Elf. In part 2 of 2, Raechil faces Balrogs, Dragons, and the pettiest of Petty Dwarves, all in an effort to save Nargorthrond from the forces of Morgoth and his half-wit friends from themselves. Will his daring rescue succeed, or will he fall pray to the silver tongue of the Golden Dragon?
Dungeon World resources and rulebook - dungeonworldsrd.com
While we're away on vacation, we've prepared another special edition of WLPRPG - the show where we play roleplaying games based on the fictional worlds our podcast dissects! This week we're playing a Tolkien-themed game of Dungeon World, with Joanna as game master and Ryan as Raechil the trust-fund Elf. In part 1 of 2, Raechil is summoned to the Elvish city of Nargothrond to defend its inhabitants from the dragon Glaurung. This would be easier if the leadership of Nargothrond wasn't stupid. Really, really stupid...
Dungeon World resources and rulebook - http://dungeonworldsrd.com
Are orcs really that bad? What do droids fear more than a memory wipe? The answers to these questions, plus pranking Emperor Palpatine, heavy use of sarcasm, and an exciting alternative to Independence Day.
What the heck is Tom Bombadil? Why the heck is Jar Jar Binks? The answers to these questions, plus too many songs, the galaxy's greatest monster, and Joanna finally saying the singular of "Maiar" correctly.
George R. Binks - http://thebristolboard.tumblr.com/post/135475800303/forgotten-masterpiece-george-r-binks-by-tony
Did a bunch of witches teach rancors to read and write? Just how many names did Gandalf have , anyway? The answers to these questions, plus lesser gods, man slaves in leather aprons, and five hot grandpas with attitude.
What happens when an unstoppable giant spider attack meets an immovable lack of budget? How about when a sequel completely negates the premise of the original within its first ten minutes? The answers to these questions, plus froggy throats, diabeetus, and wizards drinking colloidal silver.
Ewok GIF - https://media1.tenor.com/images/469126777839af709d3c31be14e54636/tenor.gif
What do you get when you mix insane wigs, ultra-low budget graphics, and a pudgy man in a thong? How about when you mix teddy bears, minotaurs, and the world's whiniest teen? The answers to these questions, plus killer pub songs, large adults sons, and poorly-crafted Ewok ropes.
Did Bush kill Frodo's mom? Did Han Solo cause a man to permanently need to wear a diaper on his head? The answers to these questions, plus jalapeno poppers, pop rocks on pancakes, and more fun at Denny's!
How did war-time decapitation lead to the modern game of golf? How does huffing paint lead to god-like powers and no ill effects whatsoever? The answers to these questions, plus glitter stim, town holes, and daring to keep kids off drugs.
Are Hobbits actually the most dangerous game? Are Ewoks actually a bunch of man-flesh-eating psychopaths? The answers to these questions, plus shamans, weed, and a lesson in basic Ewokese.
Star Wars narrated by Ron Howard - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6XERmXsP-U Ewoks gallery - https://imgur.com/a/p7g4qpt
Who was the sleepiest Dwarf? Who was the stinkiest Jedi? The answers to these questions, plus stripping the clothes off dead Jawas, escaping from dragons only to get killed by more dragons, and J.R.R. Tolkien's possessed mummified finger.
Jawa actor kids -https://starwarsblog.starwars.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/6/2016/12/EP4_BTS_1636.jpg
How is Greedo like Alexander Hamilton? What should you do if a Dunlending asks for your daughter's hand in marriage? The answers to these questions, plus refugee crises, horses on stage, and an identified Rodian without jacket.
Rhovanion map: https://dnd-wiki.org/w/images/1/16/4-6.jpg Unidentified Rodian with Jacket: http://darth.wikia.com/wiki/Unidentified_Rodian_with_jacket
Which of Aragorn's many alternate names was the funniest? Which of Star Wars' many interspecies relationships was the weirdest? The answers to these questions, plus Tolkien Society goodies, blaring airhorns, and the winner of Mos Eisley Madness!
Mos Eisley Madness gallery - https://imgur.com/a/AonMH Mos Eisley Madness bracket (episode spoilers!) https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aEoSBMGcuXG5OA-2OJwa0St2DFHxf2GD6NB7ZudPMQk/edit?usp=sharing
Who's the biggest baller in Mos Eisley? Who's the heavyweight champion of the Siege of Barad-dur? The answers to these questions, plus botched surgical procedures, Winnie the Pooh crossovers, and the big man having the rock.
Map of Arda in the Second Age (including Numenor): https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/lotr/images/4/4f/Arda_in_Second_Age.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/1000?cb=20100220150708 Map of Gondor: http://7a6972656f5f74637568.killerhor.net/maps/gondor_color.jpg Map of Arnor following its division into three kingdoms: https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/lotr/images/3/3a/Map_of_the_ancient_Three_Northern_Kingdom.JPG/revision/latest?cb=20090917154704
Mos Eisley Madness gallery: https://imgur.com/a/AonMH Mos Eisley Madness bracket: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aEoSBMGcuXG5OA-2OJwa0St2DFHxf2GD6NB7ZudPMQk/edit?usp=sharing
What's the grisliest way to execute a Grand Moff? What was Samwise Gamgee's real name? The answers to these questions, plus the secret of Ken's parentage, a Middle-Earth culture war, and an elevator that drops you into lava.
What can we learn from Beren and Luthien about Tolkien's wolf phase? What can we learn from Grand Moff Tarkin about dealing with in-laws? The answers to these questions, plus bad parenting, talking dog friends, and pink ladies' slippers. (Man-Elf romance! Now that's what I'm Tarkin about!)
What do you call a meeting of Grand Moffs? Who was the pettiest bish in Middle-Earth? The answers to these questions, plus tax audits, the seventh stage of grief, and the triumphal(?) return of Baji.
A very good illustration - https://i.imgur.com/IMaGbix.jpg
What happens to force-sensitive teens who don't play sports? Who had the toughest-sounding name in all of Middle Earth? The answers to these questions, plus naked forest running, Elven musical chairs, and Han Solo being the world's worst dad.
Why are men so scared of the dark? How long does it take for a baby to be born in a galaxy far, far away? The answers to these questions, plus beetle noises, magic tricks, and 70's novelty act The Weather Girls.
What's a dragon smell like? What's the best way complete your tusken raider coming-of-age ceremony without getting eaten? The answers to these questions, plus dragon kids, the truth about moon dragons, and Butch.
Star Wars dragons: https://imgur.com/a/5MQbB
Presenting "Songs in the Key of Gonk, Vol. 1", as performed by the Gonkian Droid Choir.
Track list: 01. The Gonk 02. Amazing Gonk 03. Awesome Gonk 04. Barbie Gonk 05. Cantina Gonk 06. Gonkcerning Hobbits 07. Gonke Maria 08. Gonks Just Wanna Have Fun 09. Never Gonka Gonk You Up 10. Since U Been Gonk 11. The Gonk (Reprise)
Download tracks here: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1CeNaQPKM0hnKLtv26sU4M38SUPP4oH3k?usp=sharing
Performed by the Gonkian Droid Choir.
Songs in the Key of Gonk, Vol. 1 available here: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1CeNaQPKM0hnKLtv26sU4M38SUPP4oH3k?usp=sharing
Who's the biggest Incel in Middle-Earth? How do you get a droid cultist off your doorstep? The answers to these questions, plus Disney meta, robot hymns, and untrustworthy goth kids.
Joanna's back from New Zealand, so it's time for the low-down on Tolkien tourism. Meanwhile, Ryan delves into the aggravating third installment of the Jedi Prince series. All this, plus braze, violations of property rights, and desiccated corpses.
Zorba the Hutt's Revenge illustrations - https://imgur.com/a/RXfGR
This week on WLPRPG, we're finishing our Fantasy Flight Star Wars adventure with Ryan as game master and Joanna as Jub-Jub the force-sensitive ewok. In this thrilling finale, Jub-Jub finally comes face to face with Trioculus. Will she be able to stop him despite only having two eyes? Listen and find out...
More info about Fantasy Flight Games' Star Wars RPGs - https://www.fantasyflightgames.com/en/starwarsrpg/
This week on WLPRPG, we're continuing our Fantasy Flight Star Wars adventure with Ryan as game master and Joanna as Jub-Jub the force-sensitive ewok. In part 2 of 3, Jub-Jub tries to stunt her way out of Cloud City with the lightsaber of Darth Vader. But she runs into some trouble along the way...
More info about Fantasy Flight Games' Star Wars RPGs - https://www.fantasyflightgames.com/en/starwarsrpg/
While Joanna is in New Zealand, we've prepared a podcast within a podcast for you - WLPRPG, the show where we play roleplaying games based on the fictional worlds our podcast dissects! This week we're playing the Fantasy Flight Star Wars system with Ryan as game master and Joanna as Jub-Jub the force-sensitive ewok. In part 1 of 3, Jub-Jub runs afoul of Gorja the Hutt as she and her "padawan" Skiv Darson attempt to steal a mysterious white cylinder for Willrow Hood...
More info about Fantasy Flight Games' Star Wars RPGs - https://www.fantasyflightgames.com/en/starwarsrpg/
How do you keep your bros from entering your magical Hot Babe zone? What's the one thing a Sarlaac won't eat? The answers to these questions, plus greedy Dwarves, brood pouches, and J.R.R. Tolkien's favorite shape.
First Age Middle-Earth map - https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/lotr/images/1/12/Map_of_Beleriand.jpg Huttese Dictionary - http://www.completewermosguide.com/huttdictionary.html
Can you sue a god? Are there cats in a galaxy far, far away? The answers to these questions, plus hot gos, tubular transports, and the horrors of the Ho'Din.
Lost City of the Jedi illustrations - https://imgur.com/a/xOzSx
A tribute to the Ice Cream Maker Guy of Cloud City. Written by Matt, performed by Willrow Hood. Backing track sampled from Credits Where Credits Are Due by Jared Emerson-Johnson, featured on the Star Wars: The Old Republic soundtrack.
How are Elves and Orcs related? Who is the most eligible bachelor on Cloud City? The answers to these questions, plus nice shirts, workplace harassment, and a rap about Willrow Hood.
Did Hobbits celebrate Christmas? What's in a Wookiee Cookie? The answers to these questions, plus heartwarming letters from Santa, drug-fueled Wookiee spirit journeys, and the Star Wars Christmas album.
Tolkien illustrations - https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/tolkien-favorite-father-christmas-santa-holiday-letters Wookiee Cookies recipe - https://www.starwarsholidayspecial.com/text/wookiee-ookies.htm Oral history of the Star Wars Holiday Special - http://mentalfloss.com/article/72863/dark-side-oral-history-star-wars-holiday-special
What happens when a giant spider suffers a nasty breakup? How many eyes does Trioculus have? All this, plus interracial romance, whale operas, and an interstellar wormhole-hopping glove.
How is Morgoth like a Captain Planet villain? Who builds a nature preserve next to a black hole? All this, plus spider baby-daddies, Ewok blood rituals, and too much Joh Yowza in our first ever All-Tree Extravaganza!
9 Best Trees in Tolkien - https://www.tolkiensociety.org/blog/2014/08/9-best-trees-in-tolkien/ Dulok - https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/9/97/Dulok_from_SWE.png Yuzzum (Joh Yowza) - https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/a/a1/Yowza_Jedi_Rocks.png Teek - https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/5/57/The_Teek.jpg Gorph - https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/0/08/Gorphs.png Endor Holocaust - https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/d/d0/Endor_Holocaust.jpg
Which of Arda's gods is the most kissable? Should the Jedi be outlawed for manipulating time and space? All this, plus blue dinosaurs, Ewoks in Middle-Earth, and a very special guest!
Map of Valinor: http://www.glyphweb.com/arda/v/valinor.html News Goblins: https://www.newsgoblins.com/ Vertiguys: http://vertiguys.blubrry.com/
Did Sauron have a dad? How powerful were Chewbacca's thighs? Our hosts discuss these issues, with brief digressions into Flat (Middle) Earth Theory and the injustices of Mad Claw.
Arda map - https://i.imgur.com/1maPijp.png Wookiee concept art - https://i.imgur.com/3O9aKn1.jpg