Been There, Done That: Recent Episodes
Tejal Bathia
Been There, Done That is a podcast hosted by Tejal Bathia and Sital Nakarja who talk about their experiences of life since reaching their 40's. They share the laughter, their tears, their highs and lows and everything in between.
Join the Tejal and Sital in conversation with different guests sharing their journeys.
Nothing beats beaing your own boss! Don't get me wrong, its no easy ride and it has its challenges, but on the whole nothing beats the autonomy, the freedom and the joy. I'm the first to admit Mimi's was an accidental business. It started when I baked my daughters birthday cake some 12 years ago, several other parents at her party were so impressed they asked me to bake for their childrens birthdays and from there the demand started to grow. I had a successful career within the corporate world but a change in my personal circumstances meant I neede a second income and that's how Mimi's Cakes came into fruition. Mimi was my daughters nickname so it seemd an apt name for the business as it started with her birthday cake. Mimi's grew from a small home business to a succeesful boutique wedding cake business until 3 years ago when I was able to realise my dream of a coffee shop & dessert lounge. What was a one man band is now a successful community hub employing 14 people.
I never imagined that I would be a business owner let alone an employer. I had so much to learn, the basics of business I had studied helped but surrounding myself with likeminded people was integral to our growth. I found my tribe! People who challengeme, motivate me, inspire me, question me and ground me. They don't always tell me what I want to hear, but they are honest and they push me when I need it and stop me in my tracks when I'm getting ahead of myself.
I've come across obstacles that I thought I would never conquer, I've had days when I've wanted to throw it all in, but my passion for what I do has always got me back on track.
The women who share this podcast all have one thing in commen, we love what we do! If you have your own business or thinking of starting up, definately have listen!! Even if you're not, there's lots on here about being a working women. Enjoy!
'In the end, some of your greatest pains, become your greatest strengths' - Drew Barrymore
It started with small signs, changes in his behaviour, mood swings, lies, all of which I chose to ignore because I loved him. It didn't take long before they increased in frequency and magnitude that I had to take notice. I was feared the dream of 'happily ever after' was a lie. He was constantly making excuses or starting arguments so he could leave the house to feed his habit. Then there were terrible mood swings and I found myself walking on eggshells every time he was around. Even Maya who was only a baby would start to cry when she heard his key in the door and become clingy, which would rile him more. When I finally discovered his financial troubles, I wanted to be the cure. I thought I could save him. I couldn't be more wrong, whilst I was trying to build some financial security for us and help him pay off his debts, he was acrruing more!! I noticed things go missing , money, jewellery, even gift cards! if he came home in a good mood it was because he'd had a win, however when he was on a loosing streak, I would bear the brunt of his anger. Don't get me wrong, he was never physical, but the emotional abuse was debilitating. He chipped away at my confidence, I was questioning everything about myself the way I looked, my weight ( I'd just had a baby), my family, my friends. I was constantly being told I wasn't good enough to be a mother, to be a wife, to be a daughter or a daughter in law, I began to believe it.
It took several harsh words from loved ones to make me take a good look at my life and the example I was setting for my daughter. If it was someone else in my shoes, I'd be screaming for her to get out! I finally took back control. It wasn't easy or pretty, but I did it, I got out!!
Three incredibly courageous women share their stories alongside mine.
I was so incredibly excited to become a mum. I was so in love with my unborn child way before she arrived. I had this picture in my head of my husband and I and our beautiful baby living our happy ever after. That wasn't my reality unfortunately. I admit I changed during my pregnancy, gone was the the social butterfly, with endless parties and dinner invitations, replaced overnight by a homebody, nesting and trying to creating the picture perfect home for her child. Unfortunately, Maya's father wasn't ready for that change and it started to cause a divide. Maya forced herself into the world almost 8 weeks early, she was like a tiny sparrow who fit in her fathers hand. I was besotted with her the moment I saw her! I finally understood when people said they would do anything for their child, what they meant and I vowed to protect her. Coming from a single parent family I knew the struggles my mum had faced raising two children single handily and I also understood how the absence of a father affects children. Choosing to walk away from my marriage was not a decision I took lightly! For a long time after, I felt I had failed my daughter and then I had that 'Ah-ha' moment, I wasn't a failure, I was her role model, it was my responsibility to teach her to value her worth, then add VAT to it!! I dust myself off, put on my super hero cape and started a new chapter. Hear my story and those of my tribe of supermums!!
40 is such a milestine. I recall walking into it with some trepidation and some excitement. My life wasn't where i'd imagined it to be be, it was definately going to be a turning point in my life. It proved to be just that!!. I'd lost my identity, I was somebody's mum, I was somebody's daughter, I was somebdy's ex-wife, but I wasn't seen as me. I found myself in my forties. I found my purpose, my confidence, my motivation and my spirituality, as did my friends. Here our stories.