Behind The Mask-ulinity: Recent Episodes
Christian Lopez
MAN up! Boys don't cry! Stop being a p***y! What, are you gay?
Have you ever heard these phrases hurled at you? Have you ever felt like you didn't quite fit into society's masculine expectations and what it means to "be a man"? These masculinity norms do more harm than you realize and hold you back from being your TRUE self and living YOUR best life. Being manly isn't about fitting in with your culture's expectations, it's about standing out with your authenticity.
Being emotional, kind and empathetic isn't feminine, it's human. It takes a ton more courage to stand up and say "this is me" than it does to just fall in line and be the man they said you SHOULD be.
Join us as we discuss these outdated and damaging expectations by expressing ourselves with honesty, courage and vulnerability. We'll go behind the masks we all wear and show the world what being a man truly is. If you're a man that's been holding yourself back from your truth and your greatness because they say it's not "manly", this podcast is for you.
Christian Lopez is a former professional athlete turned confidence coach and motivational speaker who has battled his own fears, failures and insecurities and is on a mission to help you do the same and realize that you're good enough just as you are.
Some people say do what you love and what you're passionate about and you'll never work a day in your life.
Other people say nah, go get yourself a good job with good pay and benefits and security, etc. etc.
What's your opinion?
I recently went with the former thinking--after many years of the latter thinking--and I have not been this happy and fulfilled in a long time.
Listen to in to what made me realize I made the right choice.
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
Gareth Nock has a wealth of knowledge and experience from working in the fitness industry for over twenty years and 15,000 coaching hours, both in-person & online.
He has worked globally in the industry as a pioneer in multiple roles, including, fitness management, personal training and group fitness.
In 2021 he co-founded The Nock Academy, an online fitness and education community. He runs the day to day operations of the business alongside coaching regular clients.
When not coaching and training, he hosts the "We As..." podcast, that he co-founded in 2021.
He lives in Stouffville, Ontario with his wife, Nicky and daughter Harlie.
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
Mark Greene is a Keynote speaker and author who writes and consults on relational practices, diversity/inclusion and masculinity for organizations world wide.
He writes, speaks, coaches and consults on the challenges we face as men raised in man box culture.
He is the author of the groundbreaking The Little #MeToo Book for Men which has been called “a blueprint for men’s liberation.”
As a co-founder of ThinkPlay Partners and as a Senior Editor for the Good Men Project, he has spent over a decade deconstructing our binary-riddled dialogues around manhood and masculinity.
He is uniquely positioned to help men, individually and in organizations, create a healthier more connecting vision of masculine culture and identity.
He is the founder of the Remaking Manhood community, which is dedicated to expanding the conversation about masculinity.
His most recent book is titled Remaking Manhood In the Age of Trump: Collected writings in the battle against dominance-based masculinity.
Check out Mark's Podcast!
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
Have you ever wanted to make a move in your life--in work, in relationships, in physical fitness, in nutrition, anywhere--but were paralyzed by fear?
The fear of failure, uncertainty, not being good enough, what other people will think or say. A fear and hesitation that is so palpable that you can feel it and it ruminates in your mind non-top.
Have you ever faced that fear right in the face and said "fuck it" and just took that leap of faith anyways?
Listen in to this solo episode as I discuss a recent decision I made and leap of faith I took that scared the crap out of me for many months... and what happened when I finally took that leap.
It's good to be back recording an episode after a couple months off!
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
EVERYMAN
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
Get Greg's Book
Greg's Instagram
Advocates For Minor Leaguers
Greg is an author, editor, and stand-up comedian living in Austin, Texas.
He is the author of Clubbie: A Minor League Baseball Memoir, about his two years as a clubhouse attendant for Cal Ripken Jr.’s Aberdeen IronBirds, the short-season single-A affiliate for the Baltimore Orioles.
As an editor, his clients' work has been featured in Forbes, Entrepreneur Magazine, USA Today Bestseller List, Wall Street Journal Bestseller List, and more.
His own work has been featured on NPR, ESPN, CBS Sports Radio, MLB Network Radio, and more.
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
James' Website
James' Instagram
James' Facebook
James Addison is a songwriter of 25 years, music healer and creator of Your Song Within: a therapeutic songwriting experience where the emphasis is on your life.
In his practice he helps clients confront fears and trauma, move past self limiting beliefs, recognize behavioral patterns and create actionable goals to achieve higher potential and greater happiness. All of this while creating their own original song.
His song “Highway” was recently featured in the Emmy Nominated Netflix series, Eastsiders. Some of James past projects include Addison Strong and The Battlefield. He’s toured throughout the US and Canada and shared bills with Phoebe Bridgers, Lukas Nelson and The Promise of the Real, Turnpike Troubadours and more.
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
Q's Instagram
Q's Website
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
Matt's Instagram
Tethr Instagram
Tethr App
The book Matt mentioned
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
To become a contributor, supporter and get exclusive perks, benefits and access, consider becoming a Patron of the show.
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
Led Zeppelin - Since I've Been Loving You
Pearl Jam - Black
Alice In Chains - Down In A Hole
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
To become a contributor, supporter and get exclusive perks, benefits and access, consider becoming a Patron of the show.
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
Mike's Free "Map Your Sensitivities" Training
Mike's Website
Mike's Instagram
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
To become a contributor, supporter and get exclusive perks, benefits and access, consider becoming a Patron of the show.
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
Dan Gale Podcast Episode
Brené Brown on Hiding
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
To become a contributor, supporter and get exclusive perks, benefits and access, consider becoming a Patron of the show.
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
Addison's Instagram
Tether App
The Great Artist
Podcast Show Notes
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
To become a contributor, supporter and get exclusive perks, benefits and access, consider becoming a Patron of the show.
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
Gavin McHale Instagram
Gavin McHale LinkedIn
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
To become a contributor, supporter and get exclusive perks, benefits and access, consider becoming a Patron of the show.
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
" If we want freedom from perfectionism, we have to make the long journey from 'what will people think?' to 'I am enough.' "
--Brené Brown
Brené Brown's TED Talk on Shame
Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
To become a contributor, supporter and get exclusive perks, benefits and access, consider becoming a Patron of the show.
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
Want to connect with Sam Morris?
Instagram
LinkedIn
Website
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
To become a contributor, supporter and get exclusive perks, benefits and access, consider becoming a Patron of the show.
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
To become a contributor, supporter and get exclusive perks, benefits and access, consider becoming a Patron of the show.
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
John's Twitter
John's Show - The Damage Report
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
To become a contributor, supporter and get exclusive perks, benefits and access, consider becoming a Patron of the show.
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
Brad Johnson's Website
David Smith's Website
How To Be An Ally Website
Good Guys Book
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
To become a contributor, supporter and get exclusive perks, benefits and access, consider becoming a Patron of the show.
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
Harris' Links:
Website
LinkedIn
Twitter
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I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
We all know emojis. Those cute (gasp... am I a grown man that just used the word cute to describe something?!) little smiley faces that we use in our text messages, our social media posts, our comments to posts, our emails and in many other forms of our communication.
They are a way of adding a little more expression to a message we want to convey to someone.
We can type a text to our significant other that says "I love and I miss you" and end it with a period. Or, we can type a text to our significant other and instead of ending it with a period, we end it with the emoji with hearts for eyes, or the emoji with the three little hearts circling around its face, or maybe just the big red heart emoji. We can couple that with perhaps the sad face emoji, or the crying emoji, or the slightly angled down lip emoji to let our loved one know that we're really bummed that we're not around them.
Honestly, sometimes my wife and I will communicate with just pure emojis. Sometimes a facial expression (even though it's not technically our faces) can convey more than a thousand words can. She'll send me the dog emoji coupled with the heart emoji that's maybe attached to a picture of our dog, and it instantly brings to mind how much we love our dog Charlie and how happy we are that he's in our lives. It can conjure up all these feelings I have inside without her even having to type out one single word.
Now, are emojis a substitute for deep, honest, vulnerable conversations? No way. But they are a nice addendum to a message that we want to convey or feelings that we want to express.
And guess what?...... Us men have messages to convey and we have feelings and emotions, too!! Just because we're men and we've been taught to suppress them and bury them deep down inside until we lash out abusively at someone else or drown our misery in drugs and alcohol doesn't mean we have to continue to do so.
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
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To connect with me directly:
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To become a contributor, supporter and get exclusive perks, benefits and access, consider becoming a Patron of the show.
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
Reggie Walker on LinkedIn
Reggie Walker on Instagram
Reggie Walker's E-Mail: RWalker5553@icloud.com
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
To become a contributor, supporter and get exclusive perks, benefits and access, consider becoming a Patron of the show.
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
What do you think of when you think of an NFL quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys?
Tough? Gritty? Lucky? Superstar? Superhero? Talented? Superhuman? God-like? Best job in the world?
Do you think of depression? Anxiety? Loneliness? Isolation? Sadness? Suicide?
No? Well you might want to consider it. Because that's what Dak Prescott, incumbent Dallas Cowboys quarterback, went through recently. You might think to yourself "Why? This dude is making millions and appearing in Campbell's soup commercials, what's he got to be depressed about?"
The sudden death of his brother by way of suicide, that's what's got him feeling so down and depressed. Did you ever have a brother commit suicide? If so, I'm sorry you had to go through that, but you know how that feels. If you haven't experienced that, imagine what it would feel like.
Dak publicly shared his feelings and emotions recently and was greeted with disagreement (to say the least) by sports commentator Skip Bayless. Skip shared his comments saying that, although he has compassion for clinical depression, as an NFL quarterback who commands a team of young men, it's not okay to talk about your mental health and to reveal that "weakness" publicly. That it can affect how your teammates view your ability to lead them.
Check out this episode to hear my take on how I feel about Dak opening up so vulnerably and what kind of a leader I believe he is.
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
To become a contributor, supporter and get exclusive perks, benefits and access, consider becoming a Patron of the show.
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
What is empathy? Is it the same as sympathy? How are they different? Is it something you're either born with or not? Is it something you can strengthen?
One definition for empathy is: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner.
According to that definition, it goes deeper than sympathy. It's more than just telling something "oh, that sucks... sorry about that... I feel bad for you." It goes deeper by imagining how you would feel if you were in that person's shoes, experiencing their feelings on a deeper level to get a better feel for what they might be going through.
Join me for this informative conversation with Michael Ventura as he discusses the importance of applying empathy in our lives--personal, professional, intimate and other areas.
Michael is the founder of Sub Rosa, a strategy and design firm that has worked with some of the world’s largest and most important brands, organizations, and startups: from General Electric, Google, Marriott, and Nike to well-respected institutions such as The United Nations and the Obama Administration.
Additionally, Michael has served as a board member and advisor to a variety of organizations including Behance, The Burning Man Project, The Smithsonian’s Cooper Hewitt National Design Museum, and the United Nations Tribal Link Foundation.
He is a visiting lecturer at institutions such as Princeton University and the United States Military Academy at West Point.
In addition to his business pursuits, he is an active practitioner of indigenous and traditional chinese medicine, working with clients in private practice for over a decade.
A dynamic writer and presenter, he is frequently engaged as an advisor to entrepreneurs and leaders of some of the largest corporations across the globe.
His first book Applied Empathy, which we’re going to dive into today, was published by Simon & Schuster in 2018.
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
To become a contributor, supporter and get exclusive perks, benefits and access, consider becoming a Patron of the show.
I'm happy to announce that I have signed on for a partnership/sponsorship with BetterHelp.
BetterHelp is an online portal that provides direct-to-consumer access to behavioral health services.
As much as I care about mental health, especially when it comes to men, I am not a licensed mental health professional nor will I ever claim to be (unless I become one someday).
But, I do 100% believe in the power of counseling, therapy, coaching or any service that provides you with a knowledgable individual who will be there to listen to you, especially in tough times.
I have become a user of BetterHelp myself and have gotten massive benefit out of it by getting paired with my ideal licensed expert who has immeasurably helped me with my own fears and insecurities that I've struggled with.
If you feel like you can use someone to talk to, BetterHelp is offering you, a Behind The Mask-ulinity Podcast listener, 10% off your first month if you sign up using this link:
BetterHelp.com/BehindTheMaskulinity
Gold. Silver. Bronze.
What do those three medals remind you of? If you're like most people, they probably make you think of the Olympics. The Olympic Games, where the best of the best from around the world compete on a global stage for the pride of themselves and for the pride of their countries.
An athletic competition that began in 776 BC in Athens, Greece and was revived in 1896AD again in Athens to what we know now as the modern Olympic Games.
Some athletes train almost literally their entire lives not just to win a medal at the games, but to simply get the opportunity to participate and represent their countries. If you want to get a taste of what these athletes go through, not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well, I highly recommend watching the HBO documentary Weight Of Gold narrated by one of the most prolific Olympians in history, Michael Phelps.
Join me for this deep, intimate and enlightening conversation with Jason Rogers about being a world class athlete and the performance anxiety that can be crippling.
Jason Rogers is not just an Olympian, but a medal-winning Olympian when he won a Silver Medal in fencing at the Beijing Olympic Games in 2008. Jason knows what it means to compete at the highest levels.... but he also knows what it feels like to be at the lowest levels. Levels that are full of fear, anxiety, insecurities, doubt, shame and unworthiness. Check out his extremely vulnerable article in Men's Health.
Although Jason reached heights that others only dream of, he has struggled with much of the same things as you and I and pretty much every other human being. He may have seemed like a machine when he was performing at his best, but he's just as human as you and I.
Now, he’s dedicating himself and his work to the evolving state of masculinity. His work, which focuses on the intersection of sex, shame, and masculinity, has been profiled by the Times of London, Newsweek, and Mel Magazine. He also writes the Mandate Letter, a free weekly newsletter about the strange culture of being a man.
Shoot him a text at (310) 299-9363.
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Jason's Community
Jason's Website
Jason's YouTube Page
To join the community and be part of the conversation:
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For this special episode, episode #50, I sit down with my best friend, my teammate, my supporter, my rock, my salsa dance partner, my adventure buddy, my Office and Parks & Rec watching buddy, my wife and partner for life, Ana Kasparian.
Ana Kasparian is the executive producer and host of the largest online news network in the world--The Young Turks--where she talks news and politics, from Democrats to Republicans to the election to social justice issues and everything in between.
She has made many appearance on television and radio including CNN, NPR and many more. She has written articles for The Hill and Raw Story. She teaches journalism at Cal State University Northridge. She's an all-around bad ass.
But in my opinion, the role she excels at the most is being the best wife any man could ask for. To say I'm a lucky man and husband is an understatement.
Join us for this intimate and fun conversation as we recount the story of how we met, how we still haven't figured out who was checking out who in our first encounter, our first date, our time dating, how we became a couple, how we got engaged, and much more.
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Do you like baseball? Maybe you don't. Even as a former professional baseball player, I can admit that baseball can be boring at times. Those one to zero "pitcher's duels" that many baseball aficionados rave about can be really boring to the not-so-avid fan, I get it.
Especially now with the Covid/Coronavirus cases popping up around some teams in Major League Baseball ever since Opening Day 2020 began, I can see how baseball might deter some people.
But maybe you like another sport. Football, basketball, hockey, tennis, golf? Shoot, maybe you're not even a sports fan at all. That's okay. But one thing is for sure, there is someone out there in some profession that at one point or another in your life you looked up to. Somebody that you believed was perfect, was infallible, new all the right things to do and say and seemingly had it made. A person you probably believed was some kind of super human.
Who is that person for you?
As perfect and God-like as you believe this person may be, they are just as human as you and me. They breathe the same air you breathe, they walk on the same earth you walk on and they experience the same emotions you experience... they just happen to maybe be a bit more famous than you.
The point is, they're not indestructible, they're not immune to the every day struggles of life, and they're far from perfect. They're as human as you, through and through.
Athletes are some of these supposed super humans that sometimes get attributed these super human qualities and are expected to be perfect, and sometimes they buy into these expectations thrown their way. Their egos get big and they let their self worth be defined by their stats and what others think of them.
Join me as I sit down for this deep and philosophical conversation with Brad Balukjian about the struggles that some of these athletes, theses supposed super humans, face when their careers and essentially their identities, get stripped right off their backs.
Brad is the author and researcher behind the acclaimed book The Wax Pack: On The Open Road In Search Of Baseball's Afterlife. For his book, Brad took a single pack of baseball cards from 1986 (the first year he collected cards), opened it, chewed the nearly thirty-year-old gum inside, gagged, and then embarked on a quest to find all the players in the pack.
Is there life after baseball? Starting from this simple question, The Wax Pack ends up with something much bigger and unexpected—a meditation on the loss of innocence and the gift of impermanence.
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Are you married? Do you have a girlfriend? Do you have a boyfriend? Do you have any kind of significant other? Even if you don't, at the very least you have a relationship with yourself.
Heck, I'd argue that's the most important relationship in your life. If you can't truly love you and take care of you, then how can you expect to truly love and take care of someone else?
Life is all about relationships. We humans are built to bond, to connect, to cooperate, to help each other out, to support one another, to be there for one another whenever the time comes.
But, even though life is all about relationships, sometimes those relationships can be difficult to maintain. Sometimes, even the best of us who seem to have everything figure out and seem to know each other through and through, even those relationships go through their trials and tribulations.
Such was the case for one of Hollywood's most adored couples recently, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith. You might have heard about Jada's "entanglement" with R&B singer August Alsina on her Red Table Talk show on Facebook. Jada brought Will to the Red Table to open up not just to Will, but to open up publicly about some of the rumors that seem to be flying around regarding this situation.
You might think this was some kind of publicity stunt, and I understand why you may feel that way, but the fact that they were willing to open up publicly about such a deep wound and such a tough time in their marriage says a lot about how well they communicate, respect each other, understand each other, talk things out and are willing to be vulnerable, be open, be honest and lay their true emotions and feelings all out on the line in order to work through this pain and struggle and heal their marriage.
Join me in this episode as I watch the Red Table Talk with Will & Jada (with the audio edited out) and I share my thoughts and opinions and how some of it relates to my own marriage and relationship with my wife.
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Are you enough? Smart enough? Tall enough? Good-looking enough? Thin enough? Strong enough? Tough enough? Good enough?
What does it even mean to be enough? Is their some strict marker you need to hit before you consider yourself enough? Is that strict marker determined by you? By your parents? By your coaches? By God? By your friends? By society? By the media?
One of my deepest and most limiting beliefs that I have struggled with and had to work hard--and continue to work hard--to overcome, is the belief that I'm not good enough. That belief stems from many things in my life, but mostly from losing my identity as a baseball player and considering my career as an athlete a failure.
Join me for this deep, enlightening conversation with J Stamatelos on what it means and feels like to be enough, and what it feels like when you're not.
J is a writer, researcher, and a coach who specializes in working with high-achievers who feel like they're chronically "not enough". He is a man who knows firsthand the effects of this feeling, as it almost cost him his life in his mid-20s.
J began his career in the workforce in counter-terrorism and emergency response... but he soon discovered that his own internal struggles were shared by practically everyone around him. He viewed this as a far bigger problem than terrorism. So he decided to dedicate himself to discovering why so many of us feel this way and what we can do about it.
After years of personal experimentation, working with clients, and digging into the research and behind-the-scenes issues, he has complied his findings in a book succinctly titled "Enough". Spanning everything from how we were raised to economic changes in our society, he outlines why recent generations have experienced a surge in what he calls "anxious insecurity". More importantly, he also outlines what changes we can make to break these cycles in our own lives.
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What does connection mean to you? What does it mean to connect with another human being?
Is it eye contact? A simple hello? A handshake? A hug? A kiss? A deep conversation? Sexual intimacy?
Connection can mean something to you and something totally different to me, or it can mean the same thing to us both. But, there is one thing that is certain without a doubt: us humans NEED connection. It's how we're wired and how we're built.
That's why we formed tribes and communities and we didn't evolve alone. This whole notion of "lone wolf" and "self-made" is such BS. Every single one of us has had some help from some one at some point in our lives. Every. Single. One.
No one ever has and no one ever will get through this alone. No one.
Join me for this fascinating conversation with Rob Lawless aka "Rob's 10K Friends" that's all about one of our deepest needs: connecting with other human beings.
Rob is a man on a mission--a mission to spend 1 hour, 1-on-1, with 10,000 different people (what a mission!) all in an effort to learn about their lives and see what comes of opening doors for no particular reason... other than to let someone in.
Since starting his project in November of 2015, he's met over 3,500 people from across 30 different states and 60 different countries, and he's documented all his their stories on his Instagram page.
His work has been featured in some very notable TV and radio shows and publications including the Kelly Clarkson Show, Now This, ABC World News Now, The New York Post, ad Ryan Seacrest's nationally syndicated show "On Air with Ryan Seacrest."
Going forward, he plans to physically travel for his project internationally, he intends to begin speaking about his work, and ultimately he hopes to teach a freshman seminar on human connection at a local college or university.
To contribute to Rob's project or become part of his community, check out his Patreon page.
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Have you ever been addicted to something--alcohol, drugs, food, sex, validation?
To addicts, it can feel like the substance they're addicted to is no big deal. Like they don't have an issue. Like it's just some harmless habit that they can kick at any time they want to... they just don't want to.
Usually, if not always, addiction is the sign of a much, much deeper wound and more than just a harmless habit. Sometimes addiction is a way to cope with a life that doesn't fulfill you, a life that doesn't make you happy, a way to cope with that person staring back at you in the mirror that you don't even recognize anymore, a person that disgusts you just to look at.
But, addiction doesn't have to define who you are, you don't have to be just an "addict" for the rest of your life. It is something you can overcome, something you can beat, but it's going to take a lot of hard work, a lot of pain and a lot of self awareness and self reflection.
Join me for this deep, vulnerable, tearful conversation with Daniel Diaz, a man who knows firsthand what it feels like to be in the death grip of addiction, overcome it, relapse, and finally beat it once and for all.
Daniel is a life and business coach who was once trapped in a long, vicious cycle of addictions, bad habits, poor relationships, and toxic environments. He was living a busy, painful, lonely, empty life. Then he found personal development and began to transform his life and business.
Seven years later he took a massive leap when he left his company to pursue his passion of helping others live their Peak Life Now. Daniel is now a speaker, a life mastery coach, and the CEO of Peak Life Now, a mission driven company delivering entrepreneurs and team leaders to their highest level of performance through a heart-centered transformation of mindset and habits.
Don't miss this conversation as Daniel shares his inspirational story of how he overcame his personal demons to believe in and love himself like no other.
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This episode was a tough one to record and publish.
Not because of any technical difficulties, but mostly because of fear, insecurities, hesitation, worry, doubt, unworthiness, not good enough, shame.... you know, all the stuff that has always held me back from being the best man I can be.
I've officially launched a Patreon page. This is an opportunity to finally begin to capitalize (monetarily) on the hard work and dedication I've been putting into this podcast and this work for the past year, and more.
This isn't just a way for me to make money, it's a way for you to get more out of this work as well. I'll be offering exclusive perks and access while the podcast episodes will still remain free--and they always will.
This a way for me to slowly begin transitioning from a 9-to-5 career, to making this my career and life's work. The less time I'm dedicating to a job that doesn't fulfill me, the more time I can dedicate to this work that does fulfill me and the better and more consistent I can make it, the better I can make myself, and the better I can make you.
Even if you just remain a loyal listener for years to come, I just want to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.
I love this work and I love the people that I've met and impacted because of it. Here's to many more years of doing it.
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You may have an idea of what it means to be a "masculine" man--although it can vary and be subjective depending on where you live, where you grew up, your culture, your religion or your sexual orientation.
But what does it mean to be masculine in your relationship? Is it being domineering and demanding? Is it yelling and intimidating? Is it being physical and violent? It showing your partner who the boss is? Is it being a leader? Is it being overly sexual?
Join me for this raw and intimate discussion with GS Youngblood as we discuss topics such as:
- Masculine leadership
-What makes relationships become toxic
-How men can deal with their partner's strong emotions
-Why a man's heart is so attractive
-Sexual leadership
-How men can deal with THEIR OWN emotions
... and many more.
GS is a former high executive who had a career in Sales and Marketing that spanned 16 years, including founding and selling a tech company. Using the leadership skills and practices he honed during his time in Silicon Valley, he now coaches men in relationships on masculine leadership.
He teaches clients how to live, love and lead from their masculine core and specializes in helping "nice guys" find their power. His new book "The Masculine in Relationship: A Blueprint for Inspiring Trust, Lust and Devotion of a Strong Woman" has gotten phenomenal reception from both men AND women.
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Vulnerability. Tenderness. Affection. Kindness. Compassion. Tears. Empathy. Homosexuality. Social worker. Single dad. Author of a children's book. Reality TV star. Queer eye.
Are these words and phrases you would use to describe a "man"? Well, all these words and phrases can be used to describe our guest, Karamo Brown... and he is a man!
Join me as I sit down for this energetic conversation with Karamo as we dive deep into his story about stepping into the man that he was born to be, the man that he truly is, despite what his community, family, society, religion, race and everyone else around him was telling him about what a real man is.
You might know Karamo from his Emmy Award-winning Netflix series, Queer Eye, where he is the resident Culture Expert who helps make over the hearts and minds of individuals by helping them to confront and grow beyond internal and external issues.
Or you might know him as the first ever openly gay African American in reality television history when he was a housemate on MTV's hit reality series The Real World in 2004.
But, Karamo is so much more than that. He is a son of immigrant parents, he is a single father, he is a Christian, he is a real, strong, authentic, loving, openly gay, black man.
He is a man who's been lauded for his ease and natural comfort in relating to different types of people and strategically utilizes the strength of his numerous identities to achieve success, and teach others to do the same.
He is also a fellow podcaster where he hosts fantastic guests and deep, open, vulnerable conversations about a range of important topics. Check it out!
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What does confidence mean to you? How would you define it for yourself or in yourself?
Do you consider yourself confident? In what areas of your life are you confident? Are you more confident in some areas than others?
If you're like I used to be, you might believe confidence is something you're born with--you either have it or you don't. Wrong. I wasn't born a confident baseball player, I BECAME a confident baseball player through failure, resiliency and a belief in myself.
Sports was something I became very confident in, oftentimes believing that I was the best around. But what happened when that part of my life came to an end? My confidence disappeared along with it.
Listen in to find out how I've learned to not only regain my confidence in myself and my abilities, but also redefine what it means to be truly confident.
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Do you know a gay man? Are you a gay man? If so, do you believe that being a gay man makes one any less of a man than a straight, heterosexual man?
Shoot, I'd argue that gay men are some of the toughest, bravest, most resilient, most understanding men in the world. Considering all the hatred, vitriol, persecution, judgement, labeling, ridiculing and shaming they've endured for years and years--oftentimes from the people in their lives that are supposed to have their backs and love them unconditionally--they could probably teach a lot of us straight men a thing or two about being a man.
Would you ever take advice from a gay man on how to live life? Why not? Just because he's attracted to men doesn't mean you can't relate to him on so many other levels.
Join me as I sit down with Britt East for one of the most intimate, deep, vulnerable conversations yet on this podcast.
Britt East is an author & speaker who uses his experience, strength, and hope to challenge and inspire change-oriented gay men to get down to the business of improving their lives.
With over two decades of personal growth and development experience in a variety of modalities, such as the 12 Steps, Nonviolent Communication, yoga, meditation, talk therapy, and the Hoffman Process, Britt is committed to building a personal practice of self-discovery that he can then share with gay men everywhere.
In his new book, A Gay Man’s Guide to Life (available 6/30), he provides a resource for gay men who’ve experienced societal homophobia--at home, in school, in the workplace, and even within the gay community--to put in the work to live their best lives. This isn’t new-age mumbo jumbo or wishy-washy self-help jargon, but thoughtful dialogue that anyone in the LGBTQ+ community will find value in.
Heck, even if you aren't part of the LGBTQ+ community, you are bound to find some useful information and guidance in this book.
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What makes a good leader?
Is it sternness? Discipline? The amount followers they have? Their courage? Their success? Their lack of failure? Their professionalism? Their ability to get others to follow? Their ability to yell? Their "don't take no for an answer" attitude?
There's probably hundreds and thousands of different opinions and definitions of what it means to be a leader, and millions of examples of leaders in the world. Your opinion of a leader might be different than mine. A leader to one person might just be a bossy authoritarian to another. A follower to another person might be the best leader a company has ever seen.
When you think about a leader, do you think about someone who does things outside themselves? As merely the way someone interacts with the world and with others?
Do you ever think about how you lead the most important person in the world, the person that matters the most to you--yourself? What does it mean to lead yourself? Is that even possible? If so, what's the best possible way to do that?
Join me as I sit down with Travis Fox--psychologist, clinical hypnotherapist, entrepreneur, CEO, former athlete--as we discuss many of these questions and what it means to be a courageous and compassionate leader.
Travis Fox is the CEO and founder of The Architect of Being, where he and his team train and teach others his proprietary methodology of architecting sales, marketing, communication and branding. Utilizing his skills for personality profiling, effective listening, focused concentration and rapport building, Travis’ method has effectively helped improve corporations, entrepreneurs, and product messaging, guiding them to the heart of their message.
Travis has also been the "head" coach to several top professional players on the professional golf tours, as well as to those competing at the collegiate level. His Methodologies have also crossed over into his coaching of professional football, college basketball, and full contact fighting athletes.
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Recommended reading: "Season of Life" by Jeffrey Marx
Are you a man? How do you know? What happened? What changed in you?
Was it your first chest hair? Was it your first kiss? Was it your first fight? Was it your first drink or cigarette? Was it when you lost your virginity? Was it at 18? Was it when you got married? Was it your first job?
Who decided this anyways? Who made the decision as to where, when or how you become a man? What does it mean to be a man, anyhow?
Your version of manliness and masculinity is different than mine. Our version is different than many other guys. To different cultures around the world, our version might make no sense at all. And their version might make no sense to us. So where does that leave us?
Join me as I sit down with Dr. Ka'eo Vasconcellos (kvasconcellos@punahou.edu) for a conversation on this vital topic as we discuss his work with young men, the varying definitions of masculinity, and how we can help men develop their own identity and sense of manliness.
Check out his TED Talk!
Dr. Vasconcellos is a Doctor of Philosophy who earned his degree from the University of Hawaii at Manoa in Educational Foundations. He is currently a social studies teacher at Punahou School in Honolulu, Hawaii where he teaches American Studies and Gender Studies. In 2012, he was awarded the Honolulu District Teacher of the Year Award.
We dive deep into his incredible and impactful work with young men and the data he uncovered while researching for his dissertation titled “Hawaiian Male Adolescent Students’ Perceptions of Masculinity”.
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Facebook Dad Groups:
NEW DADS PLACE
Dadsnet
Are you a dad? Do you know any dads? Have you ever thought about becoming a dad? No matter the answer to any of these questions, you probably believe--as many of us do--that becoming a dad is one of those things in life that transform you from just a boy to a man.
Along with graduating high school, graduating college, starting your career, getting married, buying a house and so many other situations in your life that have you and other people saying "now you can call yourself a man."
NOW you can call yourself a man? So if you don't graduate high school or college, or get married, or buy a house or any of those other things, you can't call yourself a man? I'm sure there are many men in the world that have done maybe one of those "manly" things above, or maybe none of them, that I would consider a man.
Why has manliness and masculinity become something that you have to prove? Who do you have to prove it to? Who made up these rules? I'm all for rites of passage and strengthening yourself by facing your fears and pushing yourself outside your comfort zone, but that pressure to prove you're good enough to others and to society creates more harm than good in my opinion.
I know because I have fallen victim to that need to prove myself to others, to prove that I am worthy and good enough of calling myself a man.
Join me as I sit down with Jeff Cronin a.k.a. Jeff The Baby Dude for a deep conversation about becoming a new dad and the pressures he felt from the world to become a man by finally settling down and doing what a man is "supposed to do."
Jeff is a husband and a fairly new dad, with baby boy #2 arriving shortly. Before becoming a dad, he felt the same pressure and fears that many men face: "Am I good enough?... What if I mess up?... What do I do?... Am I a real man now?... What will other people think?"
Like many new dads--and parents in general--he had a lot more questions than he had answers. Many of those questions pertained to the plethora of baby products out there that make life so much easier for parents, but that he knew nothing about. He saw many women reviewing products that they found helpful, but didn't see many men out there sharing their thoughts and opinions.
He decided to take matters into his own hands--after a challenge from his wife--and this is what sparked his YouTube Channel and website Jeff The Baby Dude. As Jeff The Baby Dude, Jeff reviews many baby products that have helped ease his transition to dad life and shares his honest feedback with other parents out there who may have the same fears and hesitations that he once faced--and still faces.
We also dive into a topic that many dads out there find themselves knee-deep in nowadays: how parenting has changed during this pandemic and how to adjust and adapt properly.
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Who doesn't want to bulk up, get shredded or have the body of their dreams? I think mostly everyone wants to be fit and healthy--it's the hard work that goes into it that makes it tough.
Being a former athlete and a married man, I like to maintain a healthy and active lifestyle for myself but also to still be attractive to my wife.
Is she going to leave me if I let myself go and get out of shape? Probably not. But I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me feel good when my wife checks me out and compliments me when I'm standing around naked at home... which is about 97% of the time.
Although my wife is a small motivating factor behind why I like to stay fit and healthy, I also do it for myself because I want to reach the latter years of my life and hopefully still be able to be mobile and do some of the things I love to do... and I've got a little vanity, too. I admit it.
Do you like to stay fit? Eat healthy? Why?
Do you do it for yourself or do you do it for someone else? Do you do it because our society says that you're supposed to look a certain way? Finding out the answer to this question can be just as important as finding out what workout routine or what nutrition plan is the best for you.
So many of us fall into the trap of achieving that "perfect" body that has us doing things--whether physically, mentally or nutritionally--that are doing us much more harm than they are good.
Join me as I sit down with Sandra Avila (SAvila@Alliant.edu)to discuss an issue that is a lot more prevalent than you may realize: men with eating disorders.
Sandra is a Clinical Psychology Doctoral candidate at Alliant University where she recently penned and defended her dissertation project titled "Disordered Eating in Males: An Unrecognized Health Crisis" which we dive into and discuss thoroughly.
In her dissertation, she discusses what eating disorders in men can look like and investigates the factors that may cause them, as well as the factors that keep men from seeking help. Her goal is to help healthcare providers be able to better identify disordered eating in men and to validate their experiences in hopes of normalizing their emotional suffer gin and motivate them to take that critical first step in their healing process.
This one was very informative and eye opening.
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Shoot Jed an e-mail & mention the podcast to get a FREE e-book!
Jed@MenAlive.com
Have you ever gotten really angry? Like really, really mad?? So angry that you just couldn't think straight and all you could feel was that emotion of anger that made you want to rip someone's head off?
Me too. I'm a lot calmer these days and can manage my emotions much better, and I've always been a lover over a fighter... but I used to have a temper. Something would set me off--whether in a relationship or in my career--and I would lose it. I would see red and the only thing on my mind was yelling, retribution, revenge, vindication, respect and just making sure that my fears and insecurities were hidden so other people couldn't see them.
Anger is something that a lot of men can relate to, you can probably relate to it as well. Actually, if you're human, you know anger. But for men, it's that one emotion that it's okay to show, that's "normal" for us... as opposed to the softer and more feminine emotions.
But anger is not necessarily a bad thing, anger can save your life and protect you in sticky situations. There's a reason you have and feel anger, a reason why you're wired with it. It's not a mistake. What is a mistake is when you suppress some of those softer emotions, instead of dealing with them, and instead let them come out as anger.
News Flash: sometimes that anger is not even anger, it's much deeper and much more painful than anger.
Join me for this amazing conversation with bad ass man Dr. Jed Diamond as we discuss anger and he shows us how we can use the energy of that anger to our benefit.
Jed is a psychotherapist with a PhD in International Health and a Master's Degree in Social Work. For 50 years, he has been a pioneer in the field of gender-specific medicine and men's health. He has written thousands of articles and 17 books men's work and men's health, including his latest title 12 Rules for Good Men.
He has taught classes at UCLA, UC Berkeley and many other centers around the world. His work has been featured in major newspapers like The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal, and he's made appearances on over a thousand radio and TV programs like The View with Barbara Walters, Good Morning America and The Today Show.
Shoot Jed an e-mail & mention the podcast to get a FREE e-book!
Jed@MenAlive.com
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Are you wearing your mask? Are you practicing social distancing?
In these unprecedented days of this pandemic caused by Coronavirus/Covid-19, most all of us (minus the "strong" men who think it's weak to do so) find ourselves wearing masks to protect ourselves. When the CDC and WHO and organizations like that recommend wearing them, I'm going listen to them over some Facebook friend's disgruntled uncle who claims it's all a hoax.
I get it, they're uncomfortable, they're hard to breathe in and even if you have the best mask and wear it correctly, you're still not guaranteed to not contract the virus. I get it, who the heck would want to wear one? I sure don't. But if it's for the safety of myself and those around me, I will do so.
One argument I've heard around not wearing a mask--mostly from men--is that it makes them look weak. Really? Can you consider yourself "strong" and "manly" when you feel a measly mask is going to emasculate you and call into question your masculinity? Really??
What many don't realize who refuse to wear masks--because it may be construed by others as weakness--is that they are constantly wearing a figurative mask every single day of their lives. A mask of "manliness" that they constantly have to hide behind because they're afraid to open up, be vulnerable and let others see their pain, their hurt, their fear or whatever other "negative" emotion they may be going through because our culture has deemed that a "weakness" for men.
Join me as I sit down with Ashanti Branch for a deep dive into why we wear these masks and what we can begin to do to shed them and show the world the real us, our true and best selves.
Ashanti is a teacher/tutor/mentor who works to change how young men interact with their education and how their schools interact with them. Raised in Oakland by a single mother on welfare, he left the inner city to study Civil Engineering at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo.
A construction project manager in his first career, his life changed after he tutored struggling students and realized his passion for teaching. In 2004, during his first year teaching high school math, he started the Ever Forward Club to provide support for African American and Latino males who were not achieving to their potential. Since then, Ever Forward has helped all of its 150 members graduate from high school, and 93% of them have gone on to attend two- or four-year colleges, military or trade school.
You can also see him in the award-winning documentary "The Mask You Live In", a film that explores how our culture's narrow definition of masculinity is harming our boys, men and society at large and unveils what we can do about it.
Ashanti's TEDx Talk
"The Mask You Live In"
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Have you ever gone through a big transitional event in your life? A break-up, a career change, a move of residence, a life-altering accident?
Something that either happened gradually over time or unexpectedly from one day to the next. If you have, whatever that event was, it can leave you with certain feelings: fear, doubt, insecurity, loss of purpose, loss of identity, worry, stress, confusion and many others. It can be a really difficult time.
These emotions can really do a number on you if you don't take the time to manage them instead of suppressing them or numbing them.
Sometimes you have to suppress these emotions when you step into the office because you're expected to "be a professional", and rightfully so. But when you don't properly deal with these emotions and choose to numb them with busy work or some other distraction, they can severely hinder your ability to do your job to the best of your ability.
That not only affects you, but it affects your co-workers, your boss, your customers and your company as a whole.
Join me as I sit down with men's transformational coach Peter K. Rubin as he openly and vulnerably shares his own struggles with career change and emotions at work.
Peter was the valedictorian of his prep school and graduated in the top 5% of his class at Stanford University where he received a BS in Product Design and an MS in Mechanical Engineering, he also became an innovation consultant at IDEO and a lecturer of design thinking at the Stanford d.school.
Now, he is a men's transformational coach and a certified Master NLP Practitioner, a Diversity Facilitator and an Energy Work Practitioner. He is the co-founder of the Brotherhood Community where he co-leads the Men's Leadership Intensive. He offers free virtual workshops called Man Upgrades, all centered around helping his clients design their lives and rewire their belief systems.
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What are your values? Have you ever heard someone ask you that or heard it in a book, podcast, or TED Talk? What exactly does it mean? What does it mean to you?
In simpler terms, values are things you care about. Not material things and external things, but intangible things like characteristics and traits. What traits do you try to exemplify every day? What traits do you want to exemplify? What do you look for in others?
Why is figuring out your core values important? Why does it matter? Because they help you get to know yourself better and function better. It's like getting a physical examination from your doctor, but for your mind. When you get a physical, you may find out certain things about yourself: maybe your blood pressure is a little high, maybe your cholesterol is a bit off, maybe your lungs are a little wheezy, maybe your weight has fluctuated.
What do you do? You become aware of these things and you make adjustments to live a healthier life that's better for you and those around you. You eat better, exercise more, reduce your stress and make better decisions that will better align you for success.
Same with figuring out your values. You start to realize how you see the world, become aware of your perspective, notice why you think the way you think, say the things you say, and do the things you do.
Not only is this helpful to you personally, it's helpful in all areas of your life, including your relationships. And what is life without relationships? When you become aware of these core values, you build your self-awareness. When you build your self-awareness, you start to make better decisions, you start to create better boundaries and your life starts to look more like the life that you actually want it to look like.
Join me in this solo episode as I share my top 10 core values and, why they're important to me, and how you can begin to find yours.
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What are some of the thoughts that come to your mind when you hear the word meditation?
"It's too woo-woo... it's too 'out there'... it's for hippies... it's boring... I don't have time... I can't sit still... I'm not spiritual... it's for women... it's too feminine"?
Trust me, I get it. Those are the same thoughts, along with many others, that I had when I first heard about and was approached about meditation. It just wasn't for me.
But, I changed my mind once I gave it an honest shot and put those presumptions in the back seat. What I found that there are some legit benefits that mediation can offer, and not just anecdotal benefits, but benefits backed by science, study and research.
Join me in this solo episode as I give you my top five benefits of a meditation practice, a few ways to mediate without sitting in silence, some apps to get you started, and how you may even be meditating already without even realizing it.
The key to meditation is not to sit in silence without a single thought entering your mind, that's impossible! The key is to keep coming back to the present moment over and over and over. That is how you build mindfulness, which in my opinion is the best thing that meditation develops.
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Have you ever cried over a girlfriend or some other relationship you've been in? If so, you've probably had someone call you soft, weak, beta male, a girl, feminine, a p***y, or some other form of emasculating term.
Have you ever seen a male athlete cry after winning the World Series, the Super Bowl, a gold medal? What do they say about him? He's passionate, he's dedicated, he cares, he let it all out, he gave it his all, and other words of praise.
So which is it? Is crying weak or is it strong? I'm not advocating for a world full of cry babies that just cry about anything instead of using other productive ways to deal with emotions, but give us some direction here.
Join me as I sit down with former professional baseball player Mike Robbins as we dive into his story from the little league fields of Oakland, to the prestigious confines of Stanford University, to his journey as a professional with the Kansas City Royals, to his premature retirement because of injuries--and all the emotions he encountered in between.
Mike used those injuries, struggles and emotions to become the man he is today: a leading expert in teamwork, leadership and emotional intelligence, delivering keynotes and seminars around the world that empower people, leaders, and teams to engage in their work, collaborate and perform at their best.
His clients include Google, Microsoft, the U.S. Department of Labor, Harvard University, Coca-Cola, the NBA, MLB, and many others. His work has been featured in New York Times, Harvard Business Review, NPR, ABC News and Forbes.
He is the author of 5 books, including his brand new title "We're All In This Together: Creating A Team Culture Of High Performance, Trust And Belonging". You can find it here https://mike-robbins.com/together/.
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What constitutes going from a boy to man? When do you cross that line? Is it a mindset? Is it a physical act? Is it a change in your body?
Actually, it seems to be a very fluid definition. Depending on the country, the culture, the city, the religious group, even down to the individual, there can be multiple definitions.
Which are wrong? Which are right? Are any of them wrong? When I hit my early 20s, I still felt like a boy. I had graduated from high school and went straight into pro baseball, still playing a kid's game only now I was getting paid for it. I always had a family that supported me in every way, I missed out on the college experience that probably would have helped me develop and mature into a man.
Then again, there are young boys who are forced--through financial situations, social unrest, physical and emotional abuse--to grow up and "become men" from a very early age. So, when does one actually know when that transformation happens?
For some insight on this, I sit down with Ted Bunch, the co-founder of A Call To Men, where they are working to promote a healthy and respectful manhood and shift attitudes and behaviors that devalue women, girls and other marginalized groups
Ted is the former director and co-creator of the largest program for domestic violence offenders in America. He is an advisor to the NBA, NFL, NHL, MLS and MLB providing policy consultation and facilitation violence prevention and healthy manhood training. He is providing ongoing sexual harassment training in the entertainment industry. He was a guest presenter for the United Nations Commission on the Status of Women and the United Nations Alliance of Civilizations. He is an international lecturer for the U.S. State Department. He is the co-author of LIVERESPECT Coaching Healthy & Respectful Manhood Curriculum. He is a frequent guest on national television and radio programs like The Today Show, NPR and has served as a script consultant for the Emmy Award-winning TV series "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit."
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To join the community and be part of the conversation:
Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group
To connect with me directly:
E-Mail Me: BehindTheMaskulinity@gmail.com or Instagram Me
If there's one thing that can make you grow up real quick, take some responsibility and accountability and make you feel like you just went from a boy to a man, it's fatherhood.
It's one of those defining moments in the life of a man when many around you think to themselves "okay, now he's man."
I mean, what better way to prove to yourself and to the world that you are a worthy and capable man--a man that is ready to provide, protect and preside--than becoming a man who is now responsible for a another human being?
That is the situation my guest James G Hopper found himself in at the tender age of 19. Heck, at 19, many young men aren't even considered "real men" yet according to society's standards. Imagine being a young man trying to figure out your manhood and your own place in the world and from one day to the next, you're responsible for being an example of a man to a child.
James was a bright young star of an athlete from a very young age. He had dreams of becoming a professional athlete and those dreams and talent led him to a college football career. But, early on in his college career, he was hit with an unexpected surprise... fatherhood. Now he had the arduous task of balancing school, football, fatherhood and his relationship. It was tough to say the least.
Although he made it through and graduated with a Masters in Higher Education and an Undergrad in Human Development, he found himself in the corporate world just going through the motions, feeling unfulfilled and looking for a change.
Listen in to find out the changes he made and how fatherhood and his sons helped him figure out who he is, why he's doing what he doing and how he's working every day to become a better man for himself, his children and all the men he works with.
James is a life coach--working specifically with men, athletes and fathers--and the creator and founder of The Gentleman Strategist, where he helps men sharpen men. He is also the co-founder of The Gentleman's Pursuit to Success, helping men find their own version of success.
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Heartbreak, failure, loss, trauma... we've all been through at least one, if not all, of these at one point of our lives or another. It's just life, it's part of being human.
We're flawed, we're imperfect and we can't predict the future so it's inevitable that sooner or later we're going to run into some kind of setback.
For many--myself included--these bumps in the road can feel more like being buried by an avalanche of emotions that we will never, ever recover from. We feel like we might as well make ourselves a cramped little igloo in the snow to live out the rest of our lives. For Many of us, these events feel so devastating that we let them define us for the rest of our lives.
"I'm a loser... I'm a failure... I'm a divorcee... I'm unworthy... I'm not good enough... I'm a wimp..." and the list goes on and on.
But the good news, whether you believe it or not, is that we don't have to let these things define us. We can just view them as the one time incidents that they are, no matter how bad they may seem, but not as defining moments of our character and self-worth.
Join me as I sit down with John Kim a.k.a. The Angry Therapist for a conversation about his story and how he learned to re-define who he thought he was and who he thought he was supposed to be by finding the courage to face his fears, doubts and insecurities.
John Kim is a licensed therapist who shifted gears by thinking outside the box of practical therapy and has become a leading pioneer in the online life coaching movement. He has built a company called JRNI from the ground up where he and his team are creating new ways to help people help people.
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There are many examples and adjectives in our culture that define what it means to be a "real man". We see it all over TV, movies and social media.
But two words that stand out the most to me and seem to be the most prevalent are courageous and fearless. Everywhere you turn to see an example of what we categorize as a real man, you see a man who isn't afraid of anything and who never cowers in the face of any challenge.
And that's great, being courageous and fearless aren't characteristics to sneeze at, they're very virtuous. But, I'm here to tell you that courage and fearlessness don't go together. In fact, putting them together is paradoxical and oxymoronic.
You see, to be courageous, according to the dictionary, is defined as: having the quality of mind that enables a person to face difficulty, danger and pain. It says nothing about the absence of fear. Without fear there is no courage. If you're doing something worthwhile and you're not even a little fearful, is it really courageous?
Join me as I sit down with Chris Lee Wilson for a deep conversation about fear and courage. Chris is the co-founder of The Unshakable Man, where their mission is to serve men by providing resources and services to connect men to themselves, their important relationships, and their purpose in life.
Chris has extensive experience as an elite athlete, a sales executive and a business and life coach. After graduating from high school, he raced international triathlons and had dreams of racing bicycles in Europe... until that dream came to a crashing end at the age of 22. He was launched into the workforce with no college degree and no clear direction or purpose.
Through this adversity is how he came to find his calling and purpose.
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Sports--baseball, basketball, football, hockey, soccer, tennis, golf--they're all around us. Well, not so much now with this Coronavirus pandemic going on.
Athletes are like gods to some of us. We study their every move, on the field and off the field, in order to model ourselves and our games after them in the hopes that we too will some day rise to the ranks of their greatness. We idolize them for their athleticism, physicality, determination, grit, motivation and work ethic.
But, what we rarely stop to think about is all the sacrifice, hard work, blood, sweat, tears and FAILURE that goes on behind the scenes that leads to their ultimate success.
We view these athletes as superhuman creatures who are different than us and are immune to the daily struggles us of mere mortals... but nothing could be further from the truth.
Join me as I sit down with Pierce Brooks--former basketball stud who had visions of playing in the NBA, scouts coming to his games, college coaches offering him scholarships as a high school freshman--as he opens up about going from feeling like he's on top of the basketball world to wanting nothing more than to put his career behind him.
Pierce is an empowerment speaker giving practical solutions for people to find meaning and lessons from trauma. He has transformed his career experience at CPG Brands and sports entertainment firms into a foundation for helping people across the professional and personal spectrum.
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Words. They can be so powerful. Whether negatively or positively.
Sometimes we throw them around without a care or worry for who we hurt, other times we use them to let the people that we love know exactly how we feel.
Sometimes, those words can be hurled at ourselves, driving us to think, say and do things to ourselves and about ourselves that we wouldn't even dream of doing to our own worst enemies.
Words have power beyond just mere letters and sounds strung together. They have the power to describe those emotions that we are feeling deep down inside in order to communicate them with the world, in the hopes that we and whoever else hears them may feel a little less alone.
Join me as I sit down with my guest, Kevin Whitehead, a songwriter and wordsmith, who uses his words from his life and his experiences to express and communicate just what he feels. From the love and pain of his first relationship, to the struggle with depression and thoughts of suicide.
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How well do you know yourself? When someone asks you who you are or tell them a little about yourself, what do you say?
Not your job, not your title, not your salary, not your awards, not the size of your house, not your possessions, not the vacations you take... but who are YOU deep down?
When all that stuff is stripped away and it's just you standing there figuratively naked with nothing outside of yourself to define you, who are you?
I had to go through this tough task of figuring out who I really am, and to be honest I'm still going through it, although I have made some major progress.
When my baseball career came to an end though, I had no idea who I was, I had no idea what my purpose was, I had no idea what the meaning of life was if I wasn't holding a baseball in my hands. To say it was a struggle to figure it out is an understatement.
Join me on this solo episode as I open up about losing my identity and the journey to rediscover it.
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We're in it folks! A pandemic. It's here, it's real, it's going to leave such an impact--physically, mentally, emotionally, economically, socially--that it will be something we'll never forget for the rest of our lives.
But, just because it will have such an impact, doesn't mean there aren't little steps we can take to minimize that impact, protect ourselves and protect those around us and essentially the world as a whole.
Join Dr. Roy Vongtama and I as we sit down for this very timely conversation on Coronavirus/Covid-19. He gives us vital information that we can use to give ourselves and our loved ones the best possible chance of making sure we're as safe as we can be, whether we contract the virus or not.
We also discuss many myths that are going around the internet and social media and figuring out which are fake news, which are backed up by evidence and which still can't be determined because scientists, doctors and researchers need more time.
Dr. Roy is a Board Certified Cancer Specialist with degrees in Biological Basis of Behavior from the University of Pennsylvania, a Medical Doctorate from the University of Buffalo, and a residency at UCLA. His work includes authorship in 14 peer-reviewed scientific papers, hundreds of hours of study in nutrition, positive psychology, emotional wellness and meditation techniques. He's led hundreds of group meditations, given public talks, and provided private coaching for people interested in taking more control of their health.
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"No llores coño, tu eres hombre!" aka "Don't cry damnit, you're a man!"
This is one of many phrases I heard growing up in a Cuban community in Miami, Florida, where if you're not Latino, you're a minority.
A community that is very big on masculinity, machismo and just men flaunting their peacock feathers to show how tough and manly they are. Where things like emotions and feelings and tears are reserved for women and children.
Where if you don't adhere to the strict rules of what it means to be a man, you run the risk of being labeled gay, feminine, weak, soft or many other disparaging insults that are thrown at men who dare venture into the softer side of being a man.
My guest Jorge Emanuel Berrios, like me, knows all about growing up in this macho atmosphere. An atmosphere where men are expected to take ownership of their women, expected to cheat on their women, and expected fight anyone who says otherwise.
Jorge is an actor, comedian and writer now residing in Los Angeles, California. He is part Cuban, part Puerto Rican. Join us as we reminisce on our lives of growing up Cuban and how those manly expectations shaped the men we are today. Listen in as Jorge shares some deeply intimate stories and feelings that he hasn't shared with many people, and how he's worked hard to become and express the man that he truly is and was born to be, and let's go of the man society told him he should be.
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As men, we do many things to attempt to win the favor of an intimate partner, to build a strong friendship, to establish successful business partnerships and to just attract others to us in any way.
We work out to maintain our physique, we get trendy haircuts, we wear fashionable clothes, we drive sports cars, we flaunt our proverbial peacock feathers--all in an attempt to get people to notice us, to like us, to think highly of us, and to get them close to us in any way possible.
But... that's all outside stuff. That's all stuff--as much as we may say it represents our personal taste and individuality--that tries to paint a picture of who we are for others to see, but it only goes so deep. It's pretty shallow.
All this stuff screams "look at me" but we hardly ever stop to take the time to look at someone else, really look at them and really see them. We never let people see the real us, the true us, the us that needs that needs that sports car to make up for our lack of communication, the us that needs that perfect body because we are deeply insecure.
Join me as I have a deep conversation with Victor Ung on the rise and importance of emotional intelligence. We talk about why it's so important and how we can strengthen it to form deeper connections not only with others, but with ourselves.
In this day and age where women are becoming more empowered and more independent than ever, being a man with a chiseled body, large bank account and a garage full of sports cars isn't quite as enough as it used to be to attract those relationships into your life. We need to go deeper.
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When we think of the ideal man, or when the archetypal man is pictured in movies or television, it's hardly, if ever, a gay man.
Why is that?
There are a ton of gay men who are brave, tough, can fight, are providers, protectors, the men of the house, can fix cars, are into sports and have a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger in his Mr. Olympia days.
For some reason, many people in our society view gay men as less than, as not enough, as flawed, as if there is something wrong with them and that they need to "pray the gay away" among other harmful and destructive things to make them a "real man".
What is a "real man" anyways?
Join me as I sit down with Harry Lopez and discuss how masculine norms and expectations of who a man should be not only negative impact straight, heterosexual men, but gay men as well, probably more so.
Harry is a personal and professional Success Coach, Consciousness Expert and entrepreneur. He writes and speak frequently on issues of personal an professional change, happiness, health and inspiration, mindful living and conscious business. He has coached and consulted leaders at Google, Amazon, Facebook and many other big companies.
But above all else, Harry is a very proud gay man.
Join us for this deep and intimate conversation.
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Why is it so hard for us men to ask for help? Because "being a man" means being self-reliant, independent, a lone wolf and having all the answers to every question, and if you don't have the answers to every question, you do everything you can to find that answer and figure it out--on your own!
You do everything you can to figure it out EXCEPT taking someone else for advice, guidance or assistance in any way at all. That's what it means, according to our culture, to be a real man. A John Wayne, James Bond, Superman, Batman type of man. A man that doesn't get too caught up in is feelings but instead judges himself based on how much ass he can kick and how many bad guys he can defeat.
But, sometimes the toughest bad guy we can face is the bad guy staring back at us from the other side of the mirror.
When we really stop to think about it, even these epitomes of machoness had help. John Wayne had Doc, James Bond had Q, Superman had Lois Lane, and Batman had Robin. Whether a friend to talk to, words of encouragement, someone to share a softer side with, or someone to help defeat enemies, all these tough guys had help... and they weren't afraid to ask for it.
Join me as I discuss the importance of asking for help and how not doing so--and instead sticking to these outdated and damaging rules of masculinity and machismo--are causing us more harm than we may realize.
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MENtal Health. It's a topic that has been on the rise lately, and for very good reason. For us men, it's normal to hit the gym and aim to get those chiseled pecs and washboard abs that we see all these Marvel superheroes have and that ladies love. We go to the gym and see dudes trying to benchpress a sedan, squat a minivan and curl a refrigerator.
But, how many men are willing to put that same effort, sweat, pain and sacrifice into their mental health as well? Not nearly as many.
Mental health, when it comes to men, carries with it a certain stigma. For men, going to a therapist or a coach or seeking any help at all for anything, is seen as a sign of weakness. When we're told from the time we come out of the womb that we have to man up and be tough and never be weak, we can see why so many of us struggle when it comes to opening up and reaching out a hand for help.
Join me as I sit down for a deep and highly crucial conversation with marriage and family therapist Kevin Bergen as we discuss the importance of caring for our mental health just as much as we care for our physical health, because it is that important!
We dive into addiction and how and why it forms in some of us and not in others, and what we can do to combat it. We talk about how important intimacy, affection and physical touch is, especially between men. (No, it doesn't make you gay to be intimate with another man)
Check out Kevin and all the great work he's doing on Instagram, on Linked In and at these websites GuyStuffCenter.com, BergenPhotography.com
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What is a "bro hug"?
Urban Dictionary describes it as follows:
"A manly hug between two dudes who are cool with each other"... Isn't that just a regular hug? Aren't all hugs between people who are cool with each other?
"A manly and heterosexual hug between two bros"... What constitutes a "manly" hug? Can two gay bros not have a bro hug?
"An epic hug between brofriends"... What is a brofriend?? Aren't two males who are friends just simply friends?
Urban Dictionary also goes on to say there are a few ways to mess up a bro hug:
"Not being rigid or forceful enough." "Using both arms to hug (that's gay, bro)." REALLY? "Holding it too long (timing is everything, bro)." I don't know about you, but I love long embraces.
Since when did hugging become a thing that is only okay to do if you're a woman or a gay man? Hugging is one of the most intimate and human things we can do. It's one of the simplest and most meaningful ways to show love, intimacy and affection and to show someone that you're there for them, that you care, that they matter and that they're good enough.
It's not a gender or sexually-oriented thing, it's an every person thing! Hugs have so much power, they have the power to change someone's day, week, month, year or even life.
Join me as I discuss what hugs mean to me, why I love them so much, and how we need to make it okay for two heterosexual men to hug without feeling like they're any less of a man than they are.
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What are some of the rules for being a man?
You have to be the provider, going out and working long hours to provide for your family. You have to be the protector, keeping you and your family safe at all costs even if that means getting physically violent. You don't cry. You don't talk about your feelings. You don't get emotional. You don't wear the color pink. You don't ask for directions. You "man up".
Among many, many others.
While none of these standards of being a man are bad, in and of themselves, they can be damaging when young men are led to believe that this is the ONLY way to be man. They can be damaging when young men are forced to buy into these standards instead of learning how to truly express themselves. They can be damaging when men fear being labeled as "unmanly" if they don't adhere to them hence trying to live up to expectations they will never reach and be someone they never wanted to be.
Forcing anyone, man, woman or child, to be someone they're not while hiding their true selves is one of the most damaging things we can do to them. Forcing someone to live up to the your own standards or the standards of society can cause much heartache and resentment.
Join me in this vulnerably deep conversation with Zack Henson as he shares his own personal rules of being the best man that he can possibly be. These rules aren't meant to be imposed on anyone else through force, they are simply guidelines for Zack that he shares openly in the hopes that maybe it will get other men to shoot perspectives and look at their own lives and expectations a little closer. His 10 rules begin around the 35:00 minute mark.
Zack is an ICF Certified Coach, a fitness competitor, a graphic designer, a podcaster and an ordained minister. He's gone through his own struggles with masculinity and manhood while trying to figure out what exactly it means to be a man and how he can exemplify that every day.
You can connect with Zack directly on his website and check out his podcast as well, both at The Khaos Kreed.
This is a deep conversation you don't want to miss!
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Would you categorize yourself as a nice guy? A people-pleaser? A man who's willing to do anything he can to bring a smile to someone else's face or to make their day just a little bit better?
I would!
Now, there's nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with helping others and looking out for the needs of others and taking their feelings into account before you say or do anything.
But where there is a problem, is when those niceties you hand out regularly are being handed out because you're so worried about what others are going to think or say about you, that you mostly do these acts of kindness just to be in other's good graces, instead of doing them because you genuinely want to do them.
When you do something nice for someone but deep down you do it with the expectation of getting something in return or you do it because you want the admiration of others or because you don't want to others to think badly of you, is that really coming from a kind and genuine place?
This was me for most of my life, always trying to be the nice guy so I could be liked by everyone. I lived with the fear of someone not liking me or saying anything bad about me, I wanted to be everyone's cup of tea. News flash: you're NEVER going to be EVERYONE's cup of tea. Even MLK, Mother Teresa and Gandhi had haters.
Join me as I sit down with Robert Kandell and we discuss how being a nice guy can have its drawbacks, and how instead we should seek to become real guys. To develop the courage to come into situations and interactions with others as our true, honest and authentic selves instead of trying to be the nice guy just to be liked or trying to be someone we are not.
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Did you ever have a dream growing up? Do you have dreams for your future right now? I think it's safe to say we all do. We all want to be the best we can be and make the best lives for ourselves.
That's exactly what Dimitri Dunn wanted as well. Only before he could figure out how to make his dreams come true, he first had to figure out how to survive. He had to figure out who he was, where he belonged and who the hell was on his team.
One of the most important things we can give a young person in their lives, whether a male or female, is love and care. Someone to show them that they matter, that they're worthy, that no matter what happens they'll always have that support system to catch them if they fall.
That is something Dimitri never really felt he had, at least not in any substantial way. It's something he's still struggling to find to this very day.
We all fall into the trap of complaining and nagging about certain things whether it's our job, our pay, our relationships or that the waiter got our order incorrect. But we hardly ever stop to realize just how damn lucky we already are to have the things we have, like food, water, shelter and a loving support system.
These are things that Dimitri was never really certain he'd have and if he did, he wasn't sure how long they would last.
Join Dimitri and I for a deep, intimate, vulnerable conversation as he tells us about his journey from foster youth, through boyhood and now to a young man, and all the ups and downs and lessons that he has learned along the way.
This conversation will fill you with a deep sense of gratitude.
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How do Americans today feel about the state of masculinity and where it's headed and how it's changed?
GQ recently conducted a survey of 1,005 Americans who identify as male, female and gender non binary, and asked them some wide-ranging questions about what they see and how they feel about the current state of masculinity.
There were some encouraging responses and results, but there were some conflicting ones. These conflicting answers set the stage for responses that offer plenty of cause for optimism about where we're headed, even as they also identify areas where progress is alarmingly slow.
The survey suggests that we'd have a lot to feel hopeful about if men could extend their most closely held values outward, projecting compassion and respect for others in the public sphere as well as the private one.
Join me as I discuss the results of the survey and I give my opinion on the state of masculinity today.
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How well do you know your partner? It's a question we think about and see often, especially on "reality" TV shows and gameshows like The Newlywed Couple.
But, there's a question even more important than that. That question is "how well do you know yourself?"
If you can't truly know yourself, the person you spend every single second of your existence with, how the heck can you truly know anyone else?? It's impossible!
We project so much of ourselves and the way we see the world on other people, and if we're not aware of that and accept that we do that, how will we really know who we are, who they are, or who anyone else really is?
Join Kyle Wright and I as we dive deep into the importance of communication and how to cultivate a strong relationship, not just with your partner, friends, family, or co-workers, but with yourself as well.
Because if you don't know yourself and you can't communicate who you really are, what you're feeling and what you want to others, how will others ever know the real you and vice versa?
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Do you have someone in your life that you look up to, a role model, a mentor?
Whether it's a parent, an older sibling, an athlete, an artist, a best friend, a teammate or a neighbor.
Better yet, are YOU a role model, a mentor or a person who someone else looks up to?
As much as we may think we're independent, self-made or have never had help from anyone, those thoughts are BS illusions. Being a human being means connecting, bonding, interacting and co-existing with other human beings.
If you're a customer, you need those companies and businesses that provide you with a product or a service.
If you're a bunnies, you need those customers to purchase and consume your product or service.
We all need others in this life to survive and to grow.
Imagine you were the last person on earth... how lonely would that be? What need would you have to work, to earn a living, to play, to vacation or to do anything that you do on a daly basis?
Our lives are built around relationships, we've become who we are today because of the relationships we've cultivated and the people we've been surrounded by.
Join me and my guest Mike Sagun as we discuss the vital importance of relationships, how being and having a mentor is more important than you may think, and how to become a better listener.
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Have you ever failed at anything in your life?
A job, a career, a relationship, a diet, an exercise routine, a test? Anything at all? Be honest...
If you have, congratulations! You're just like every human being alive and every human being in the history of the universe. We all fail eventually, whether it's a monumental failure like a failed business or trivial failure like waking up late for work.
But, you know what the silver lining of failure is? That you actually had the courage to give something a shot and take some responsibility for your life and your decisions.
You failed a business? At least you had the courage to try!
You failed at a relationship? At least you had the courage to open yourself up to love and heartbreak.
You failed at waking up on time for work? At least you're responsible enough to set your alarm to get to work on time and be a valuable employee.
You failed at a diet? At least you had the self-awareness to realize that you needed to make a change.
Failure doesn't define us. So what does define us? How we respond to failure. How we bounce back, learn a lesson, take responsibility, grow and keep moving forward. That's what matters! Because everybody fails, but not everybody has the courage and resilience to keep pushing forward.
Listen in to find out how you can build your resilience against failure by learning to detach yourself from expectations and finding your true identity without the labels of your job, your relationships your possessions or anything else.
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Yes, it is true, we evolved from apes and animals. Yes, it is true, we learned how to behave and think in certain ways in order to survive and thrive and make sure that our genetics carry on when we're gone.
But, it is also true that we are almost in the year 2020! We have evolved as a species and as a culture, but we haven't evolved as much as humans and as individual men. We no longer need to be on the lookout for the dangers that once plagued us. We no longer have a need for the irrational fears that plague us on a daily basis.
There are so many men out there--I used to be one--that feel they still need to solely be that tough, macho, protector, defender, hunter, fighter that we once all were expected and needed to be. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being all these things, but why can't we be more?
Why do we just have to be relegated to what someone decided men are supposed to think, speak and act like? Why can't we evolve just like all forms of life do over time? Why can't we dig deep into who we really are and bring that truth to the forefront instead of living a superficial life?
Join me as I have a conversation with Dr. John Schinnerer about how we can all dig a little deeper, be a little more honest, mindful and vulnerable, and be better men.
Dr. Schinnerer graduated from UC Berkeley with a PhD in educational psychology. His areas of expertise range from high performance, to stress and anger management, to positive psychology, to creating happy and thriving relationships. He wrote the award-winning book "How Can I Be Happy?" He was an expert consultant on the Academy Award-winning Pixar movie "Inside Out". He is the host of the Evolved Caveman podcast.
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You hear the argument quite a bit these days:
"Masculinity is not toxic! What's so toxic about being a man?! We can't teach our little boys that being a man is wrong!"
I hear you, and I don't disagree with you. There is nothing wrong with being masculine or being a man, nothing at all. What's wrong about providing for your family? What's wrong with protecting your family? What's wrong with being tough, brave and figuring stuff out on your own without any help? Nothing. Could we come up with a better term? Probably.
I believe the interpretation of "toxic masculinity" is what is a bit skewed. Those who speak up about it aren't saying that masculinity as a whole is bad... at least I hope they're not. What they are arguing is that teaching our young boys that this is the ONLY way to be a real man is detrimental to their emotional health. By burdening them with these essentially unattainable expectations, we fill them with the sense that if they fall short of our expectations of what a man should be then they're not good enough to call themselves men.
Telling someone they're not good enough just the way they are can do nothing but harm.
Masculinity is not toxic, even females embody some masculine traits... and men embody some female traits. Surprise!
What is toxic is imposing our will and expectations on these young men and sticking them in these "man boxes" that hinder their true growth rather than promote it.
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If you Googled "vulnerability" you may come across definitions as follows:
"capable of being physically or emotionally wounded"... "open to attack or damage"... "open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc."
After reading these definitions, who in their right mind would ever willfully WANT to be vulnerable? As a human being, evolved from animals and other living things, our main goal in life is to survive. To survive so we can procreate and keep populating the world with our offspring.
When you read a definition like this, your mind may go to an animal in the wild having to fight for it's life, worrying about every sound and every movement because it could be the difference between life and death.
You think about soldiers in war who, with one vulnerable mistake, can be killed if they're not constantly protecting themselves and on the lookout for enemies and danger.
Luckily for us, we're not animals in the wild or soldiers at war that constantly need to be vigilant for the sake of our survival. We're not even cavemen anymore who also needed to worry about every possible threat whether it was a lion, disease, poisonous mushrooms or rival tribe members wanting to kill us in our sleep.
We're living in 2019, most of us in developed parts of the world where we can afford to let our guard down a bit and not constantly have to be on a stressful lookout.
Now, let's look at another definition of vulnerability, this one from Brené Brown:
"Vulnerability is not winning or losing: it's having the courage to show up and be seen where we have no control over the outcome; vulnerability is not weakness, it is our greatest measure of strength."
This is the definition I adhere to.
Being purposely and mindfully vulnerable has not weakened me, on the contrary it has strengthened me and filled me with a sense of courage that I never had before!
How? Because every time I open myself up to fear, failure, ridicule, disagreement, disapproval, shame and other negative outcomes, I come out the other side alive and realize that being vulnerable didn't kill me.
How can you be more vulnerable?
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Brené Brown describes shame as follows:
"It is the intense feeling that washes over us and makes us feel so flawed that we question whether we are worthy of love, belonging and connection."
In my opinion, that is one of the worst, if not THE worst, feelings any human being can ever feel. We're social creatures, we're meant to bond and connect with others, not live a solitary life in isolation.
Our societies were built on coming together and helping each other out and working together. When you make someone feel like they are unworthy and not good enough, to our primitive minds that can feel like death, or a precursor to death.
Getting kicked out of the group, whether physically or mentally/emotionally, can feel like a death sentence. That is what it feels like to our bodies when we feel shame. We feel like we're not good enough just as we are and if we're not good enough to be part of the group then we're going to be alone, and if we're alone we're certainly going to die without the help and protection of the group.
This notion of "self-made" anything is bullsh*t. Even if you believe you are the most independent person in the world, at the very least your parents came together at some point in time to make your existence possible. If it weren't for them you never would've existed.
As humans, socializing and connecting is in our DNA. When we make each other feel like we're not good enough just as we are, we drive a stake straight into the heart of what it means to be a human being inhabiting this earth.
I've got good news though: you are good enough just the way you are.
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From the moment we come out of the womb, we're taught--whether explicitly or implicitly--what it means to be a man.
We're tough, we fight, we don't cry, we don't ask for help, we don't wear pink, we man up and figure it out and we sure as hell don't talk about our feelings.
It's as if we're programmed to go against what makes us human: feeling our feelings and being able to analyze them and figure out where they may be coming from and why. Why do they do this to us?
Yes, as men, we are biologically made and built to do certain things and handle certain things that typically--but not always--we may excel at more than women. And there's nothing wrong with that!
There's nothing wrong with being tough, brave, being a provider and a protector, being self-reliant or being a leader--these are great traits to have! But just because we may be built for these things doesn't mean we HAVE to live and die by them and it doesn't mean we're less men because we don't fully embody these.
Also, just because we are men, it doesn't mean that we don't feel things and don't have emotions--things that are considered feminine traits. We all embody both masculine and feminine traits, it's part of being human. It just so happens that someone someday decided to label these traits as "masculine" and "feminine". We humans love order and organization and labels.
The problem is, when we say "this is how a man thinks, speaks and acts", we're simultaneously saying "you're not a real man if you think, speak and act differently than this cultural norm and expectation". You're labeled as feminine, gay or a p*ssy.
It's time to blow up this man box we're all put in and start to figure out what masculinity and being a man means to us, as individuals.
My definition of masculinity is being "the man". Not the man they told you to be, but THE MAN you were born to be. Truthfully, authentically. Nothing is more masculine than that.
What's your definition of masculinity?
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What's your story? Everyone has one, everyone's is different.
Stories are what draw us in to other people and make us want to learn more. If everyone's story was the same, how boring would life be?
I was a professional athlete for 10 years and up to this point it has been the absolute best decade of my life... although the current one is shaping up to be a really good one full of growth and transformation.
Being a major league baseball player was all I ever wanted to be, it was my dream from the moment I stepped on a field. Unfortunately, I didn't fulfill all the visions I had for myself. Because of that, when my career came to an end, I felt empty, with no sense of identity or purpose. I never knew who I was without baseball so when that part of me was gone, I was scared and didn't know what to do.
This fear is not something most men will admit to, from a very young age we are taught to "man up" and that men don't talk about their feelings and emotions. These fears, insecurities, failures and thoughts of not being good enough have held me back from so many things because I thought to myself "if I can't succeed at something I was good at and loved so much, how will I succeed at anything else?"
Two years ago I had a deep talk with a dear friend and decided right then and there that I was going to make some changes. I began a journey of self-reflection and figuring out who I really am without the label of "baseball player."
This journey has led me to the worlds of life coaching and motivational speaking and now, to this very podcast you are about to listen to.
I am on a mission to let men know that it's okay to feel things, it's okay to be scared, it's okay to not have all the answers. The archaic rules of "being a man" are outdated and have done us more harm than good.
Just press PLAY already to hear me share my story. Enjoy!
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What is your biggest fear? None you say?
If you're human, then at the very, very least, you have a fear of death. Even if it's only the subconscious, lizard-brain part of you that knows it, it's there. As with all other living species, our chief aim in life is to survive and procreate to make sure our kind keeps on living, it's built into our DNA.
You see animals living in fear and looking out for danger all the time. But, unlike animals, we have the amazing (but sometimes debilitating) gifs of consciousness, foresight and reasoning. What do these gifts bring with them? The knowing that one day, we are no longer going to be alive.
We humans, we love certainty. I believe a lot of our fears lie in uncertainty: the uncertainty of our future, the uncertainty of whether our spouse will leave us, the uncertainty of knowing if people are talking about us behind our backs, the uncertainty of whether our next decision will be the right one.
We love certainty because it goes hand in hand with our survival. If we know what dangers lie ahead, like the tiger hiding behind that bush over there, we have better odds of surviving and procreating.
You know what the great thing is? The only time you are going to encounter a tiger nowadays is at the zoo, and you will be well protected. You no longer have the need for these irrational fears that your brain comes up with because it's trying to protect you.
These days, your fears can actually lead you to more certainty, not less.
Hit PLAY and find out how you can do so in your life.