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I just beat the neighborhood chess champ in three moves. Those karate lessons are really paying off.
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This week clown shoes are on clearance. That's no small feat.
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Special this week on broken can openers. Or, as we call them, can't openers.
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Someone stole all our 2022 calendars. I hope they get 12 months.
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An earlier version of this episode was missing a few key elements. Such as sound.
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I was once such a dedicated employee I took my work home with me. Unfortunately the bank didn't like that.
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Today's episode dedicated to the inventor of the starter's pistol, Onya Marx.
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26 years with my limo license, and nothing to chauffeur it.
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This week we rate scissors. I can't wait to see which pair made the cut.
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Our fall preview is entitled "Constipated" because it hasn't come out yet.
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If this gig doesn't work out, I can always spellcheck at the M&M factory.
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I was getting a great cell signal at the wedding. Best reception ever.
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Our universal remotes truly control the universe.
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Aye, matey! We celebrate a pirate's milestone birthday.
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We feature the new Earth, Wind & Water album, "EWW".
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I asked the realtor to show us something cozy & within our budget. We move into the bounce house next week.
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I had a flat tire. There was a fork in the road.
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Always going the extra mile: I set an alarm for 6, even though there's five of us.
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The 1st French fries actually were made in Greece.
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Betcha can't guess what year we're celebrating the 50th anniversary of this week.
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I met a fisherman who moonlights as a magician. "Pick a cod, any cod."
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I ordered a chicken & an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know...
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The nurse said she would have to draw blood. So I handed her some crayons.
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Today we interview a street fighter about the time she punched a curb.
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I'll bet the guy who invented Lifesavers made a mint.
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Most people are shocked when they discover we sell cheap extension cords.
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Deer don't live long 'cause they dine out at every meal.
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My wife asked me to stop singing 'Wonderwall.' I said maybe...
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This show is about reverse psychology. Do NOT listen to it.
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Never trust stairs. They're always up to something.
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This show is good for the environment. 100% recycled material.
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This show is running through my veins. Listen varicosely.
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I was checking out the weather radar. How does the storm know how to stop at the county line?
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So the first Americans are getting vaccinated. Way to go, Clovis culture!
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I may have slightly revised my 2020 New Year's resolutions.
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The swordfish has no natural enemies. Except the penfish, which is even mightier.
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There's a coin shortage 'cause we lack common cents.
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We had a chiropractor stop in about a weak back.
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We fear negative numbers & will stop at nothing to avoid them.
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Pumpkins sit on porches because they have no hands to knock on the door.
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If you drop ice cubes on the kitchen floor, just kick them away. Soon they'll be water under the fridge.
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Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be justwater.
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If at first you don't succeed, call it Version 1.0
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I want to know Edward Scissorhands' take on the latest touchscreen technology.
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This weekend's fly-fishing tournament is being live-streamed.
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Survival is a challenge. Thank God my watch keeps telling me to 'take a minute to breath.'
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I'm ordering new door signs, if anybody wants 'In'
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Not saying there's another wave of sickness coming, but we just lost a skid of toilet paper.
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A new study finds the searing heat at sports stadiums is due to a lack of fans.
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Wait, that duck didn't pay for his Chapstick. He just said, "Put it on my bill."
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We don't leave our business cards out on the counter anymore. We found people were just taking them.
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Maybe we wouldn't have a coin shortage if wheat pennies were still made from copper.
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I wanted to marry my grammar coach when she got out of jail, but apparently you can’t end a sentence with a proposition.
