ManUp Moment - Jay Cookingham: Recent Episodes
ManUp Moment
ManUp Moment is a daily two-minute radio broadcast dedicated to encouraging men. Husband of one and father of seven, host
Jay Cookingham offers Christian insight on marriage, parenting and other family topics. Challenging, thought provoking and mixed with a sense of humor, it's a two-minute shot of encouragement.
Jesus sat down and ate with betrayers and deserters… with men who fell asleep when He needed them to pray. Knowing all this, Jesus still wanted to be with them, such was His love for them.
Jesus had not yet died on the cross when he told His disciples to eat and drink “in remembrance of me.” There must be more that Jesus wants us to remember
When we act like Jesus, we are not only living up to our God-given potential, but we are also helping to break down the destructive stereotypes of masculinity. We are showing the world that there is a better way to be a man.
Sonship is God the Father restoring sons to His original design. When we are restored (through redemption) to a deep relationship with God, sonship is our new identity.
God’s design of restoring a man's heart is so much more than a simple repair job. It's a complete restoration!
Is God playful? Is it hard for you to imagine a playful God? Well, Does He enjoy His creation? Does He enjoy you? Does He enjoy your playful side? You have one you know; you’re made in His image. If He has one, so do you!
Holiness is warm and inviting… because God is! He’s warm and irresistible! So, it’s more than just choosing a life of holiness… it is choosing Him!
The Westminster shorter catechism says, “Man’s chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.”Maybe the wording “enjoying God” sounds too playful or not serious enough when it comes to our relationship with God. Afterall, we’re supposed to fear God… aren’t we?
Charles Simeon, a pastor in England during the mid-1700’s once said this about enjoying God.“There are but two lessons for the Christian to learn: the one is, to enjoy God in everything; the other is, to enjoy everything in God.”This is so true… I feel that Christians struggle with this still
I believe, there is a born-in longing for the presence of God. A deep longing… not for blessing, not for rescue… not for healing… just a yearning, a hunger, an ache for Him. An overwhelming, passionate desire to enjoy Him. The question is…Do we enjoy the things God provides more than we enjoy Him?
This is probably the simplest economic concept to understand… What someone will pay for something determines its value. Simple right?Ephesians 1:7 speaks to this.“In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace.”
An orphan/slave spirit is always looking for proof, a sign, something they can use to control or leverage for their own benefit. They need something to hold on to, something that will give them a sense of security and belonging. This can be anything from a physical object to a promise of love. But no matter what it is, the orphan/slave spirit will always look for more.
So, if our life hides itself in Christ, then our identity looks like Jesus, who came to show us the way to relate to the Father as a son. He did this by focusing on the things above. Things like His Father’s will, His Father’s purposes and fulfilling His Father’s mission.
Romans 8:14“For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.”First God gets a hold of us, then comes with us, and leads us. I love the fact that God leads us into sonship, and that He goes with us on this journey of becoming more like His son, Jesus.
Romans 8:15For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!”Adoption is the extreme makeover of people into sons and daughters. When we accept Jesus as Messiah, God’s adoption rescues us from our sin, sets us free from our bondage, restores our identity, and gives us a purpose.
When God says He wants to be our Father, our Abba Father (dear father), He means it! He wants to place us as sons in a desperate world needing them.
Wild animals do not like being in a cage. They pace around a cage, full of bottled-up energy, with no way to release it. They’re confused, frightened, not understanding their lost freedom. However, if you keep an animal caged too long, they forget what kind of animal they were, they lose their aggressiveness. The cage becomes too comfortable and sometimes… they die in captivity.
Did you ever wonder what Jesus sounded like? In John 7:46 we read this incredible statement about Jesus.The chief priests and Pharisees sent officers to arrest Jesus, but they returned empty-handed… they heard a frequency from Jesus… that kept them from arresting Him. They told their bosses when they returned without Him in custody.“The officers answered, “No one ever spoke like this man!”
Jesus calls for our hearts to be on the same frequency as His, sounding off with His love, touching other people’s lives, with good works motivated by mercy!
There is a frequency to our lives… this is crazy cool, all human beings have a frequency. Everyone, everything on planet Earth… gives off a frequency.However, we humans have a noise problem… a noise pollution problem. There are far too many voices speaking at once in our head. Voices of doubt, uncertainty, confusion, and fear… that distract and fog up our thinking.
Jesus calls us every day to follow Him… to follow Him in the wild places. Jesus is always calling us out.
There is a very old Africa saying in the form of a question… a question with a deep intimate longing… the saying is… “Will you walk with me?”Will you walk with me? Not around the block, not across the street… will you enter my life, my world and journey with me? This is the call to follow Jesus, to enter the world of the Messiah and journey with Him, not at a distance but up close and personal.
We are chosen to be followers. The Greek word for follow means to… to join someone as a disciple and it means to be in the same way with… implying intimacy, going the same way, living the same way as the Master!
Among you it will be different… what will? Life will be different… following Jesus changes the way we see life.
Remember the first time you realized that God, the creator of everything, was real and loved…you?
We need the Word before the world. We must filter the news, the events, the conspiracies… everything the world presents as “truth” through the TRUTH of God’s Word.
Waiting on God is an active faith seeking to be with Him, what a blessing it is when a waiting son or daughter and a waiting God meet… power is released.
The act of forgetting is a sacred sacrifice where we shake off every hindrance, everything that keeps us running the race with freedom.
The truth is that we are not called to safe, ordinary lives. We called to follow, pursue, and chase after a Holy and powerful God.
Your hunger… your appetite is satisfied by what you feed it… Sounds obvious right? If we are not hungry for the presence and purposes of God, then you can be sure we are hungry for something else.
Warriors bow our knee to only one King, the one who can make us free. God’s redemptive power frees us to stand when others retreat, and to lead with others shrink back.
Father God did not battle for our hearts to turn us into slaves or worker drones. He didn’t leave us as orphans.
One of the greatest battles a man faces is his past. We often allow those past events that haunt us… our mistakes; our failures and sins… affect our choices and decisions.
This Scripture tells us that joy comes in the morning but doesn’t say that my troubles would disappear overnight. It’s not a formula that promises that you’ll feel happy at sunrise.
Henry David Thoreau had this to say about our past “Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.” The Apostle Paul said this way in Philippians 3:13 “No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.”
One of my best days as a parent came when all my kids could dress themselves. The day they could purposely put articles of clothing on was… freedom. I didn't care if those articles of clothing matched or inside out… I was just glad they were on! Thankfully... throughout Scripture, God has laid out our wardrobe.
Since I lost my wife Christine to cancer in 2019, this verse in Matthew 5:4 has been huge in my moving forward.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
You can mourn and celebrate at the same time; one does not negate the other. In fact, I believe mourning IS a form of celebration, solemn for sure, but an active honoring of the lost loved one.
The blessed life is all about knowing God, about having a relationship with Him that is so deep that it doesn’t matter if He blesses us or not.
Could it be… that the moment we’re “stuck in” is the exact moment God is teaching His greatest lesson.
What does victory look like when life is full of pain and hardship? When death stings? (and it does). When the words of the worship songs we sing don’t feel true… When stories of miracle and healings conflict with stories of horrible loss?
I feel there is something far greater at stake than electing a President soon. It comes to me in the form of a question… Who will hold your heart after the election?
I’m sure most all of us have heard this once or twice before and normally… this wasn’t a compliment was it? But as sons and daughters of God I think we’re called to live a life… full of IT… and that IT stands for Intentional Thankfulness.
You are what you eat… so what you consume not only fills you but also FORMS you. It forms what you look like, how healthy you are, your mobility, you ability to think and how you live. And believe it or not, it’s the same with our spiritual diet.
My speech, my actions and the way I love my family, my community… all should invite questions… and I should be prepared to answer them.
Failure is not an option but I know it often feels like the only one. In reality, failure is simply an opportunity to try again.
Focus is spiritual traction, our sure footing when we concentrate on God’s ways instead of our own. Our focus needs to be fierce because the fight will be. The struggle against the kingdom of darkness is very real. What do we focus on?
God’s Word encourages us to cast off the weight… the past, the trauma, and the things that lie to who we are in Christ.
The Greek word for anxious comes from a root word meaning… to go to pieces. Ever felt that way? I don’t think having anxiety is not a lack of faith or a sin. But it is a peace stealer, one that makes our faith journey difficult at times… but how do we pick up the pieces?
There are brothers, men who need our friendship who are loss and confused about who they are. They need brothers who will risk comfort, money, and respect…whatever it takes to bring them the truth about who Jesus is.
We take up the FULL armor… we gear up! We use everything that is available to us, because partial armor is not good enough!
In case you couldn’t tell… We fight against a desperate, very intentional, strategically devious enemy! We need to be watchful!
Throughout Scripture God reveals our sonship, God affirms our sonship and God confirms our sonship.
Walking is more than a way of getting from one place to another. In the Bible, walking is symbolic of relationship with someone.
Look for ways to invest yourself in NOW moments that will outlive you. Make every breath matter, engage every moment with an eternity mindset, and allow the past to remind us of God’s goodness and nothing else.
How we respond to pain tells us how we’ll respond to our purpose! Will we back down, shy away or run away because the pain is too great.
The recent Gillette razor ad about toxic masculinity misses the point about men and toxic actions on so many fronts. Toxic behavior is not determined by gender, male babies aren’t born toxic anymore than female ones are. The common toxic pollutant of human behavior is not gender, but sin. The world is full of people who do toxic things because of sin! The Bible reminds us.
Everything we go through in life is to make us like Jesus. While struggles may surprise us, they do not define us, but they can refine us!
The Gospel is not potential salvation. The Gospel is promised salvation. The Gospel, the Good News is the power of God for salvation. He makes salvation happen!
“To live is Christ” means that Christ is our focus, our goal, and our heart’s desire I live independent from my circumstances… they don’t have control… even death is no threat… Christ is in control of my life… and that makes me free!
We forget so easily… we lose sight of God’s faithfulness and all His blessings towards us. Instead, we recall (interesting word isn’t it?) our past… we call back memories of so many past negative events and give them far too much airtime in our heads. Instead… we can choose to recall the powerful moments of God’s faithfulness… and remember what God has brought us through.
When the Disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray... did they know what they were really asking?
There are two ways in which a person can be a troublemaker. One is by sinning against the Lord. The other way is living for the Lord and messing with the enemy of our soul.
Jesus’ final command was to send out his group of disciples to make more disciples. His disciples have been made in this same way ever since.
We don’t throw away our life, it’s not a donation… we invest our life in a mission to change the world.
As men we have to learn how to recognize God's voice in a world full of conflicting voices. Listening closely is more than Jesus teaching us something and then giving us a job to do. It’s about hearing Him and obeying Him.
The problem with winging it is that sometimes important details get left out. We might lose our direction, lose our way and settle for far less than God’s best.
Even more important that your car’s alignment is your heart’s alignment. To keep our heart on the road and not in some ditch somewhere we need to connect with God, not just on a daily basis but an ongoing basis.
Worship is more than singing songs; it’s about who we live for. Our lives are meant to be worship…loving Him with all our heart…all our mind…all our soul… and strength!
51% of Churchgoers don’t know of the Great Commission. 25% heard the term but couldn’t tell the researchers what it meant. Only 17% could tell what the Great Commission is. If the people of God are unsure of His mission, can you imagine how confused the world is?
Shouldn’t good Christians get a break? Shouldn’t there be at least a little boost here on earth for living the way God wants me to? Why are things so hard, difficult and painfully out of control? These are not easy questions to answer of course…but maybe if we change up the questions we ask during these rough times!
Hope is a wild dependence on a God who loves to come through and Hope is about trusting God will provide a way when we have loss ours.
Are you ready for the deep end…ready to abandon yourselves yourself, totally submitting yourself and all you are to the Father?
God’s mission to make disciples makes spiritual warfare unavoidable. Thankfully God’s Word tells us how to arm ourselves for that battle.
Resolutions don’t really work. The problem is that they are not powerful enough, not strong enough, to change us. Instead of a resolution, what we need is a revolution
As we remember what God has done for us, gratitude becomes an action word, a powerful muscle of expressing thanks and gratefulness
You were made for the presence of God. Not just enter into it…but to stay in it, linger and remain forever. You are not a trespasser, or a temporary fixture. No, you were invited, urged, desired to come and never leave. You are designed and created to be there. You were positioned, placed and chosen to be in His presence.
The feelings of not being good enough, the feelings of abandonment and rejection… do these powerful statements of false identity choked hope from your heart? Are they convenient excuses to accept failure and to settle for less?
Have you ever felt this way? For many men, failure is the wall they hit…and failure hits back with a vengeance. Sometimes…It is hard to go forward when backwards seems your only option. Do we quit or find another way through?
Steps are challenging but they take us places and when we follow the Master, they take us places beyond what we can imagine.
If we want to pray bold prayers, ones that move mountains, and change the lives of people we love, we may have to have our spiritual ears checked…along with our heart.
To cause a Godly uproar is to live a life of sold-out passion for Christ. The presence of God in our life should disrupt and challenge the darkness that chokes the souls of people all around us.
Only God can make America great….And, by the way…It’s God’s definition of great that counts…not ours!
I believe if we all pray these 3 simple prayers over our hearts, we will experience more freedom in our lives.
Have you ever wondered what it would be like, feel like, and look like… to be fearless in every area of your life? Can you imagine praying bold prayers that move mountains? Having a heart so bold it won’t back down from any fear thrown your way? What would it mean to you to have a voice so bold, so free and unafraid to speak truth?
I need to tell part of my redemption story today…I grew up in an abusive home; my father’s cruelty was part of everyday life. Father God convinced me that was the only way to be free of the pain. When I forgave my dad, the healing of my heart began.
The Father’s love is reliable, powerful, penetrating, redemptive, personal and life changing. His love for you is eternal, it’s forever, it’s everlasting and it reaches through you to all the generations to come.
Regret can be a bitter poison… To regret something is to wish it had never happened and for many men…our past haunts us with the pain of regret. To battle and overcome this handicap takes the huge bold step of forgiveness.
For the men who may be listening to this broadcast and have not made a decision to follow Christ…today could be your day of freedom.
Humility is usually not high on the list of manly attributes but humbling ourselves I believe it’s one of the toughest we could do as a man.
I should guard my heart, protect it, fight for it but never build a wall to enclose it…sometimes a wall can become a prison or worse, a cage. A caged heart can keep a man safe but not keep him alive.
If the God of the universe lives inside of you, and He does, how could you do anything less than great things?
So we should make every breath matter, engage every moment with an eternity mindset, and allow the past to remind of God’s goodness and nothing else.
Your life produces momentum, growth and changes the course of history…yes, history. If this was not true…why did God the Father create you?
A man typically defines himself by what he does, often using physical attributes, heritage, possessions, backgrounds and aspirations to describe themselves. Over time, these become an identity that shape one’s opinions, beliefs and values. Although these parts of our life give insight to the person we are, I think they’re incomplete…I believe God has a better definition of our identity.
This is invitation for some hardcore training…exercising our spirit to become strong and powerful for the battle we face daily.
The enemy wants us to believe our heart doesn’t matter to the Father, that it’s un-redeemable, corrupt and beyond hope. Thankfully, the truth is miraculously more powerful, Father God restores our hearts with His.
The Word of truth is the message about the greatest rescue mission ever devised… the Gospel message. This message readies us for action and completes us.
Fit to be tied…an old saying meaning someone better tie us up because we’re so agitated and out of control. Life presents everyone with “Man Up” moments almost every day…events that leave us angry and upset…fit to be tied…but what if we look at tied up in a different way.
In the Kingdom of God, pleasing God becomes a way we find ourselves and reinforces who we are in Christ. Sons find purpose and meaning in what our Father asks us to be.
The fear of falling is a strong phobia and can cripple, immobilize and rob freedom from the strongest person. For our heart, in a spiritual sense, it’s just as dangerous.
Psalm 34:19 states... "Many are the troubles of a righteous man but God delivers him from them all" and I've always taken that as a battle cry.
My response to tragedy must contain hope. My comments, my speech, my actions, my opinion must be saturated with the hope that sheds light on truth
The guts it takes to suffer physical, emotional, relational pain and endure faithfully, is nothing short of amazing…and to me, that courage describes Jesus perfectly.
The enemy will tempt you with false adoption promises, filled with lies to make you doubt the Father’s goodness. Sonship is a covering and a protection against identity theft.
The pursuit of Father God’s heart is the driving force behind living a life that honors and loves God with all he is.
If our life (our identity) is hidden in Christ, then our identity looks like Jesus. His mind was set on things above, things like His father’s will, His Father’s purposes and His only motivation was to fulfill His Father’s mission.
My story of freedom started in a very dark place of abuse and neglect. Growing up in an abusive home may not seem like the correct environment for me to discover freedom, but this is where my story began.
I have discovered that many men have a masquerade problem… They have spent most of their lives covering up, disguising themselves in fear of being discovered. The fear comes from having a misunderstanding of their true identity as men, I know this from experience.
Thankfully the Father has made our identity known… Made in His image, saturated with His Spirit, Father God defines your identity with Himself!
Seeing through God’s eyes makes all the difference in how we respond…when God asks…what do you see?
In the word revolution, somewhat hidden at the beginning, is the most powerful word…if we want to affect change, shake things up, overthrown a kingdom of darkness…we need more of this word in our life.
In Matthew 14 we read about Jesus feeding the 5000 It’s a powerful story of compassion and is going to lead into a huge teaching moment for the disciples.
The truth to embrace today is this… The greatest commander, the wisest general…God, has positioned us for victory!
Following Jesus is not for the fainthearted…we want a map, a GPS, a detailed route but then Jesus hands us a compass and simply says…Follow me. The question that rises is…What do we put our trust in, our navigation skills or His?
One of my favorite authors G. K. Chesterton says this about joy. “Joy is the gigantic secret of the Christian.” Joy has the wonderful side effect of strength; it’s an energy drink for the soul. Joy lifts, joy empowers, joy endures…it comes from inside…from the life God imparts.
Insecurity is a cage and a fear that keeps you from trusting people and ultimately, God. For many men this is a huge battle and they believe the lies of their failures. Lies that shout that they are not good enough, that they are worthless and weak.
The New Testament is full of “new life” instruction that involve living like you were dying moments.
Everybody, if they are honest with themselves, feel afraid sometimes. Feeling afraid, that’s not the issue…being controlled by that fear is. Thankfully, Father God has a answer for fear.
Following Christ is a life long journey…walking out the Great Commission is a journey of disciple making.
Repentance then is part of walking a holy life; it’s re-connecting to God’s heart when we drift, fall or rebel (sin) against His ways. It’s a turning point in our life that helps us remember the truth. Sin wants you to remember your failure, the wrong you have done, but repentance remembers the goodness of the Father and returns to Him.
Every man needs a strategy for his faith. Here are 4 quick tips to put into our faith arsenal.
This is the holding pattern of faith; standing firm, armed and dangerous We must take the initiative to put on the armor and stand firm in the battle because we love the King. It’s not a matter of “letting go and letting God,” where you are passive and God does it all.
Too often a leap of faith is avoided because of fear…because we think we can’t see where our feet will land. This is where our fear and faith collide.
Faith is seeing God with (spiritual) eyes wide open…seeing where He’s going, what He’s up to and knowing we’re supposed to follow. Human sight sees in human ways….focusing on trials, sorrows, difficulties, failures…and allowing these to keep us from jumping out of captivity.
In the seminars I teach, I’m often asked this question. How do we become sons? That’s easy…when we accepted the call to follow Jesus, when we bent our knees to the Messiah…. We became sons. John 1:12 says… But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. John 1:12
If I told you that I was planning on stealing your name… your identity, so I could wreck havoc on your financial status, your reputation and mess with all your relationships…would you let me?
This is the critical junction of one’s life—being able to identify and accept God’s vision for us—as sons first. This is where the doorway to manhood hinges, here is the thrust, and the sending off point of our lives. Here we taste of the goodness of God and become able and willing to make known that goodness to others.
I think we can learn a lot from cardigan wearing, Presbyterian minister/TV kid show host. He had something to say about being a neighbor…at least his life did
Finding my heart again is one reason I believe God messes with me. My heart is valuable to Father God, He fought for it, and He redeemed it and made it alive again. This search and rescue mission proves the value of my heart and helps make sense of the time when I feel so restless.
Changes are one of those constants in life, like seasons they carry promises and challenges but with deadlines not of our choosing.
This push me, pull me, tugging sensation is the tension of following Christ, abandoning my selfish desires and pursuing His and His alone. It’s the leading of the Holy Spirit, placing us, positing us and aligning our will with the Father’s. What we see…or don’t see is not as important as what we know.
To understand hope is to capture a vision of how God sees life.
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13
I do believe that hope is oxygen for our souls… it breathes life into the empty part of our souls. Hope makes you believe redemption is possible.
Will we choose to see God as Father… will we only accept the lens of Jesus Christ to see Him through? Not our past, not our failures, not the way we were raised or the abuse we may have walked through…just the way Jesus shows us.
We have to make a stand…let’s go 1 Corinthians 16: 13-14
“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. 14 Let all that you do be done in love.”
This verse is saying Keep your eyes open, hold tight to your convictions, give it everything got, be powerful, and love without stopping
One of the greatest mistakes I made in the early days of this journey with God was projecting the image of my dad (and the way he treated me) onto that of Father God.
My heart needs something beyond expectations… even great expectations… it needs hope in Father God.
At the very point of attack, our Father has made it possible to defeat the enemy…we have no reason to fear!
In a culture abounding with many religions and spiritual paths, Jesus, Paul, and the other apostles declared plainly that Jesus was the way to God.
“But God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through.” - Francis Chan, Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God
Are you geared up to love your wife as Christ loved the church like it says in Eph. 5:25? Are you ready to shift into overdrive to love her as she NEEDS to be loved?
When I applied for a marriage license 32 years ago, all I had to do was pay a fee! There was no test, no training course, no Marriage Ed in school, just slap down some money and you’re all set! So, even though I lacked many of the basic skills on how to make a marriage work, they issued the license anyways!
Thankfully Father God is so committed to the covenant of Marriage that He has helped me develop a healthy and strong one.
Listen to this verse in Romans 12:2
Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
This verse describes the difference maker between being a copy cat or thinking like a man after God’s own heart. So how do we get a mind makeover?
A lot of men struggle in this area, but I believe that every man is all ready equipped to lead their family. It’s supposed to be part of our everyday life, not just limited to weekly family devotions.
In the middle of a dark chapter in my life Father God spoke hope and promise. Sure I endured abuse, pain and neglect but they did not author my story. God did, through His son Jesus
This is the journey offered, to follow Christ and be changed men, the choice is always ours. Not merely trying to be loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and self-controlled but allowing the retooling that fuels the transformation that releases that fruit in our lives.
Cultivating a life that mirrors the Fathers love requires the Holy Spirit to work on us from the inside out
This is the lifestyle of sons… men who give their heart to the Father. They are motivated by relationship not by reward. They will follow the Father to the ends of the earth and help others on the way.
In 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 we receive no-nonsense instructions…
“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.”
I don't believe that the days are getting darker.. I believe they are getting lighter. As the light increases, dark things are revealed, exposed and discovered. It may be unsettling and scary to see such evil raw and out in the open but it's a good thing.
Proverbs 4:23 has this warning for us….
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23
There are many things that will ask you for your heart today. Some will even demand it from you. Circumstances, trials, fears, are the biggest culprits. The temptation to settle for something less than God's best for you is a loud one.
I had coffee with Sam (not his real name) recently; Sam and I were trying to catch up after a few years of minimum contact with each other.
Sam is in his early 50’s and he feels friendless…alone in his battle. This is the great tragedy of many men; their hearts are vacant and isolated. If nature abhors a vacuum, more so a man’s heart…it will try to fill it somehow.
Sam fills his with porn.
The words we speak into our children fuel their journey through life. A father’s words guide and help set a course and those words have generational impact.
Your redemption, the rescue of your heart has made this position of sonship possible. It is not society, the world, or the enemy who gets to define who we are. Our past doesn't have the power to dictate it either…our failures or successes…what we have lost or what we have gained…none of this gets to define what kind of man we are.
I consider myself a "generalist" a "jack of all trades" type of guy. Yet, I don't hunt, my home repair skills are suspect and if I judge myself against a list of "manly things" I may not qualify for a mancard anymore. At least that's what my dad thought...and for years I suffered from that failure to live up to his version of manhood.
I believe Romans 8: 14 – 15 is a son’s declaration of…dependence, listen to this.
For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. (15) For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!"
One of the greatest battles a man faces is his past. We often allow those past events that haunt us… our mistakes; our failures and sins… affect our choices and decisions. The enemy loves that and plays that card repeatedly. It is time to end that game and walk like the redeemed sons we are.
So much has been taught about the human heart and how wicked it is…after all Jeremiah 19:9 states
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?” Jeremiah 17:9
But that is not the whole story…Here are some heart checks to ponder.
I believe with all my heart that Father does want to speak a word over us today…that word is favor.
Did you know that the day you bent your knee to follow the Messiah, the King of Kings…you picked a fight? Did you also know when you entered a marriage covenant and said, “I do”…you picked a fight? When you stood your ground, drew a line in the sand and said…”as for me and my house…we will serve the Lord! You became a warrior… you entered a battle.
The word conspire is one with quite a negative rap, but at its Latin roots it means something really cool. The word conspire means to breathe together
Of all the books of the Bible...I get the Psalms. The experiences... the rollercoaster-ness of life with God is real and raw. What the Psalms say to me is that my emotions, my outlook, and the way I think and believe, is important to the Father.
Throughout the Gospels Jesus mentions the Kingdom of God or the Kingdom of Heaven over 90 times…do you think He was serious about Kingdom living? Jesus had a message to deliver.
His word pictures were of the charts…so was his intelligence. Jesus was able to debate and silence his harshest critics. His parables were masterful, weaving information of farming, fishing, human relations, politics and even the weather.
Every day, you and I are bringing a picture of Christ into our everyday world. Our life with its opinions, our personalities, our choices… the things that make up our walk are selling or delivering a picture of Jesus, whether we’re aware of it or not.
We have been invited into a mystery…the mystery of knowing Jesus… and by knowing Jesus….know the Father.
Jesus didn't come to reboot religion…he came to show us how a human heart connects with God. He came to show us the freedom a human can have in relationship with God.
Was he an introvert or the strong silent type? The Gospels don’t really tell us outright yet they tell us that He experience life in all its fullness.
50 years ago a seven-year-old walked into a church for the first time and heard a remarkable story. It was the story of a man, who was God, who loved people so much he died for them on a cross. It was this story that drew me in, that captured my attention and it was the heart of this man, Jesus, who captured my own.
I didn't fall in love with a theology…I fell in love with a person.
Love investment involves acceptance of the cause, it involves commitment to the cause and giving to the cause. What is this cause? Paul writes about it in Ephesians 3
Self-control is the cousin to dying to self, the companion that encourages sacrifice when it is hard to do so. It is the fierce, relentless bent to do what is right, not what is easy or comfortable, what is right.
I believe the goodness of God has everything to do with relationships. Since He values them so highly.
Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton said this about aptience
“Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it is concentrated strength” - Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
As a father, I sure need this strength, so I’m sharing 4 patience hacks today that help me tap into that strength!
I thought I share seven of my marriage proverbs and although they may sound humorous, I wrote them in King James verbiage to make them sound more important…If you follow these, I guarantee at least a strange look from your wife!
Father God is looking for men who sacrifice, who give of themselves, disciplined men who are willing to follow the example of Jesus in the way He lived and loved. You and I are called to be the husbands our wives need and the fathers our children need.
The Holiday season is here and the temptation is to become extremely busy and spend way over our budgets. Yet the one thing we need to budget wisely is the currency of time. Investing in our families is the best way to spend the holidays.
A lot of years were spent yearning for "full-time" ministry opportunities outside of where I worked, not seeing clearly that it was staring me in the face all the time
When did good storytelling become the deciding criteria for discerning questionable material/media/publications? When did we lose sight of this of this truth in Philippians 4:8?
It seems to me that Jesus wasn’t much of a “hang around” type of guy. His call to “follow me” is not meant for hesitate individuals or the “let me sleep on it” crowd. Jesus is going somewhere and He calls us to go with Him…now.
I believe with all my heart that we need passion on this journey with Christ but it must be channeled through the character He imparts into us.
We're all going through stuff, some more difficult than others, and there are days when our stuff seems to be winning over us. Can I encourage you (us) that the Father knows, the Father cares and the Father loves us through all this stuff. His son Jesus has overcome the world...can He not help us overcome the world of stuff that we face?
Good Dads provide so much more than food, shelter, etc (all important) Look at the word closely...PRO-VISION...we show our kids a vision that is pro-them...for them! This is what God imparts through us and I'm so glad He does!
Recently my daughter Becky and I went to fetch the health food known as Dunkin Donuts. Becky is my youngest (11) and although we share many wonderful qualities, acting crazy in public places is not one of them.
I know the battle is hard and many are trying to hold it all together, do the right thing and be obedient to our Lord. Please remember who you are today…you are His son! And you have been redeemed by the greatest heart the universe has ever known.
A man’s voice is so much more than the words that come from his mouth. What we speak about… who we speak about and how we speak, create ripples in life around us. We impart with our voice, we invest with our voice, we define with our voice, and we construct…or destruct….all with the power of our voice.
My eyes are weird, one eye is near-sighted and the other is far-sighted which does create some focus problems for me… but with the right prescription… things become clearer.
It’s the same when it comes to being a man after God’s heart… we need focus
It brings God great joy to bring to us into His family. God’s adoption of us is a rescue of every creative part of our mind, body and soul.
I think maturity is nothing more than realizing the need to be free as the Father defines freedom.
In Acts 4:13 we read about a WOW moment…
Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognized that they had been with Jesus. Acts 4:13
I have to admit to not seeing one episode of the HBO series Game of Thrones and I plead ignorant to the value of its viewing gratification. Although I have no desire to watch it, I find the title intriguing.
Except…it’s no game.
I am a failure… but, before you rush to my defense, hear me out.
There were times I choked under pressure and bailed big time when situations were tough. There were too many days when my heart vacated when it was needed most and just because my mind was filled with selfish thoughts, I chickened out.
My heart is torn and perplexed with difficult thoughts today. I wonder what would happen if George Zimmerman or Trayvon Martin's family decided to pay my small town church this coming Sunday. How could I minister to their hurts, fears and sorrow... to their sense of loss? Then a harder question comes to mind...
What if they both showed up?
I thought I try to encourage you with a few laughs today. Here is one of my famous Top Ten Lists...hopefully it will bring a chuckle or two to your face...which I pretty sure, needs one. BTW, I’m a pastor so I’m free to poke fun at myself!
You know a long sermon is coming when...
When I first became a dad 26 years ago, I never realized that I would become a dad of seven… or that God would use these wonderful people to change my life. So I came up with this list of promises to help me remember how important my fathering is to them. I called it…
Seven Promises from your Dad
In Exodus 17:1-7 the nation of Israel is in a desert, they were thirsty and in a very bad mood.
At the core of Israel’s grumbling about the lack of water was simple, they doubted His goodness.
Fatherhood is a challenge...to be the dad your kids need as they grow up is an exercise that will stretch us daily. Fathering has to be intentional… something done with purpose. So how do we blend the roles of coach, mentor, and role model into our relationships with our kids? It's not easy but here are 5 quick tips that may help you navigate that path.
Imagine you’re at your place of work…at the office, construction site…wherever. One day this guy shows up…he stops by your cubicle or the coffee shop…he looks like he might just be passing by but he stops and says…
Come, follow me
I do…that hero is my wife.
This woman, with such a depth of character and beauty, has turned his heart into a beating frenzy of compassion. Warming the coldness that once resided there with absolute acceptance and belief he could be the hero she saw in him.
That's a question that has been working on me for over 50 years now.... C.S. Lewis says this…
Until you have given up yourself to Him you will not have a real self - C.S. Lewis
Does that question make you squirm a bit? It doesn't have to. We are redeemed from sin to become the person Father God wants us to be. His plan is personal, strategically designed to produce sons and daughters.
Freedom is not about doing whatever you want, whenever you want and however you want. Freedom is about becoming the person you were meant to be.
1st Chronicles 16:27 give us a destination…
Splendor and majesty are in his presence. Strength and joy are where he is.
This joyride is first and foremost about the friendship and shared experiences we can have with Father God.
2nd Corinthians 4:1 reminds to do just that!
Therefore, since God in his mercy has given us this new way, we never give up.
I love baseball and believe or not the Apostle Paul has something to say about baseball. In 2nd Corinthians 4:17 he writes…
For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.
Joshua Harris says this about connections…
“Every relationship for a Christian is an opportunity to love another person like God has loved us.”
Our words have a tremendous impact on people. It's important to communicate with wisdom and meaning.
Chances are if you haven’t forgiven someone…your hands are full and so is your heart. But none of it is any good. What we need is a heart like Jesus. 1 Peter 2:23 says this about Jesus… “He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly.”
When God uses NOW, it’s an invitation. Salvation was a NOW moment that God used to rewrite out spiritual DNA to look like His. Salvation offers an opportunity to mirror the Father’s heart. NOW… is that moment when God invites you into the miracle of forgiveness.
The disciples found forgiving like Jesus challenging….in Luke 17 we read about it. 4 Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.”
In her book…Out of Africa, Karen Blixen wrote this “You know you are truly alive when you’re living among lions.” Dads have this wonderful paradox living inside them. On one hand, we strive to help our children grow up, to become men and woman of character and then…You encourage them to walk through the door of adventure.
Who the Father is making me into is stands in complete opposition to what the world would like me to be. I refuse to be domesticated, tamed by a world system that devalues and destroys life. God is using my life collage to send a message counter to that system.
Matthew 5:8 says this… God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God. WOW…Jesus is saying we get to see God! Not just when we get to heaven…now!
Today I ache all over. It’s a deep feeling, one that stays with you, not necessary a pain but it does hurt a bit. It tends to keeps me up at times (OK, a lot of times) and distracts me in other ways I can’t really explain. I ache for my children
George McDonald, a Scottish minister in the late 1800’s, said this about our name. “Who can give a man this, his own name?” - George MacDonald
I question God all the time…it usually sounds like this. God…what are you doing? In my mind there are two ways to ask this question. One is a fear-controlled response to an unpleasant situation or the other way is with childlike faith.
I recently made a remarkable discovery about myself. It seems that for 50 years now I’ve been in show business…yep…show business. April 23 marked my 57th year on this planet and 50 years of following the Messiah.
Titus 2:7-8 talks about showtime
In basketball and football games the outcome is often determined by the number of “touches” the key players have in a game.
Dads, we need to have significant “touches” in the lives of our children. Here are five areas of needed touches to give as key players:
Patience gives muscle to understanding our family. It takes time to build healthy connections in a family, that’s not a big secret. Yet, our kids need to know that we understand them or are willing to make the effort to do so.
“Blessed are the peace makers, for they shall be called sons of God.” Matthew 5:9
To be a peacemaker means there has to be a war going on someplace. Often there are small skirmishes or large-scale battles going on in our home. Restoring peace in the family atmosphere is huge and it falls to us Dads to be that agent of peace.
Actually the Bible has lots of career advice
In 2 Timothy, chapter 2 we’re given 3 examples to model
In Galatians 5 we read about the fruit of gripping.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, (23) gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Gal 5:22-23
The Greek word for self-control means “to get a grip on oneself.” Simply put, Discipline is extreme self-control.
"You do not wake up one morning a bad person. It happens by a thousand tiny surrenders of self-respect to self-interest." ~ Robert Brault
Proverbs 14:12 puts it this way.
"There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." Proverbs 14:12
You know…Scars are strange.
I still brag about one received from trying a jump, on my bike, off a Jerry-rigged ramp in my friend’s backyard when I was 13. I wear it like a badge of honor, a tribute to youth’s, (somewhat stupid), adventurous spirit.
Basically…Scars are showoffs.
Lately I've been thinking about forgiveness…and the Green Berets. The Green Berets are some of the toughest men on the planet…they are the “special” of special ops. Their training, their dedication, the sacrifice is off the charts.
Alexander Pope (the author of the poem, An Essay on Criticism) penned one of the most quoted lines of poetry.
“To err is human, to forgive divine.”
Alex caught the essence of the Bible' message in that one line. Forgiveness is the core of the Gospel. Scriptures are dripping with forgiveness. Depending on what version you read, there are up to 700 verses containing the word forgive and its variants. God is serious about forgiveness
Last night I got angry…ticked off…spitting mad and this quote by Leonard Ravenhill mirrored my heart.
Many of us are hunting mice - while lions devour the land. - Leonard Ravenhill
The enemy of our soul is unashamed about wrecking havoc in the lives of people all around us…he lies, he steals and is pumped about destroying anything precious to the Father. This burns me!
Why do we (the Church) seem so accepting of this?
Are you ready to love your wife, your children and your neighbors, the way they need to be loved?
Do you know the way?
My heart's desire is to present God's love and truth through my journey as husband, father and son...what I consider the three pillars of my life.
‘Flat out’ is a phrase suggesting maximum effort and speed, but in Australia it usually means flat out on your face as in the expression “He’s flat out, like a lizard drinking.”
When I think of my failures…I feel flat-out…
An over-under or over/under bet is where people wager that the actual number in the game will be either higher or lower than a score posted by some “legal” gambling institution. However, that is not what I’m talking about.
You see, I started to feel that way this past week, even though it was a great week. I left something far too long in the cold, dark part of my heart…and it needed to come out. I needed to remember this verse in John 10:10
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. John 10:10
For a visionary guy like me; disappointments seem to be a close companion to the whole casting vision thing.
During my time of prayer and reflection I asked God a question.
Father…what’s wrong with me?
I love the movie Braveheart and in my opinion the movie is a powerful metaphor for spiritual warfare.
I am! One vacation, Father God impressed on me a new word. That word was Foregivegracefulness. This new lingo of mine is the blending of forgiveness and grace, the wonderful ability to look beyond faults, intent, character flaws and forgive.
I absolutely love being married, of course having the perfect wife helps but I am so thankful that Christine decided to accept my proposal 30 years ago. This awesome adventure we share is a constant reminder that God is good and that marriage is good for me.
My peace comes in spite of my circumstance because I am with Him…abiding, focusing, and communing with the Lord of the winds and waves
Today I pray that God will totally work you over. Now, before you get mad at me listen to 1st Thessalonians 5:23
Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again.
“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”
This is why a Band of Brothers is a tactical source of strength. Having such a company is not easy; not for me any way. Sometimes, it’s looking into the eyes of a brother and telling him what he doesn't want to hear but needs to.
Watching the Band of Brothers series moves me every time, I get carried away by the stories of those brave men of Easy Company. I watch in admiration of their dedication to the cause even though they hated the war. These are good men, I wish I knew them.
I’m glad I know the men in my company, let me tell you about them.
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
Recently I have been watching my DVD copy of the HBO series Band of Brothers, which tells the story of Easy Company in World War II. I love listening to the actual accounts of the men who went through extreme sacrifice for their country and for each other. Years have passed and these men talk about their “brothers” like they were still in the foxholes with them…their bond was that intimate and deep.
Everybody, if they’re honest with themselves, feel afraid sometimes. Feeling afraid is not the issue…being controlled by that fear is.
How do we handle heartbreak like the one in Newtown, Connecticut? Or the fact that there are 143 thousand orphans in the world today. What do we do with 27 million who are sold into slavery? The world is full of hardship, evil and suffering. How can I effectively counter such darkness?
John 15:16 talks about a great choice that God has made…
“You have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you and ordained you that you should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain; that whatever you shall ask of the Father in My name, He may give it to you.” John 15:16
I like the word chosen, don’t you?
Mark 1:17 says this…
“Then Jesus said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you become fishers of men.” Mark 1:17
This the greatest ongoing invitation ever given…nothing else compares. Entrance to the Kingdom of God is open and available.
You do you know…In the book of Mark we read
"And he appointed twelve (whom he also named apostles) so that they might be with him and he might send them out to preach." Mark 3:14
In this passage Jesus speaks purpose (he appointed) and identity (he named), which only happens...with Him. The journey as a disciple has to be WITH the Master, there is no purpose or identity without Him.
Why do we need courage to be a gatekeeper? Because there is an enemy who has a world view that involves lying, cheating and destroying lives. That includes our families and our communities.
But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. Luke 2:19
As we inch ever closer to Christmas day my heart fights to keep the focus on a Messiah who came to give us life. I think about a young Jewish girl…who was brave beyond belief. Mary teaches me that silence is good thing, that pondering on a message from God is a worship moment. Her story helps me focus.
Two thousand years ago, an unnamed innkeeper made room (unknown to him) for the Messiah to be born in the last space available…a stable. Perhaps it was compassion for the young pregnant woman and her distressed husband that moved the innkeeper to “make room”, perhaps it was simply a business deal. Whatever the innkeeper’s intent, this much is true…
When you make room for God, the miraculous happens.
I find the story of Joseph fascinating. His story inspires the family man inside of me…of all the people I want to meet in Heaven, he’s at the top of the list. His story makes me think.
I know my heart is hungry today. Christmas does this to me. I try to imagine what I would have done with a star announcing a messiah’s birth. Would I leave my land, my comfort to follow such a sign? What affect would a shepherd story and angel songs have on my life? Would the presence of soldiers threaten me away from belief?
Christmastime is signs and wonders time. I believe there are angel songs still filling the sky with the promise of the Messiah, wishing for a human ear to receive the Good News.
Last Christmas a group from my church went caroling to a few shut-ins from our church community.
Our first stop was Pete’s home and a huge God moment. Pete is confined to a bed 24/7; he suffers from Polio and Lou Gehrig's disease. He can only speak in a whisper and even that comes hard for him. Still, Pete can smile with the best and will great you with bright eyes and a grin from ear to ear.
I’m sure you have heard of the old saying…When the going gets tough…the tough get going. Man, I hate that saying…of course the tough get going…because they’re …TOUGH! What about the rest of us?
During some interviews and even in discussions between friends and myself, I have been called a fathering expert. I wrote this to keep my head on straight.
We need to be men of prayer; it aligns our will and spirit with His, enabling us to stand firm, and act in a manner that honors the Father. The closeness we can develop with the Father through our prayer life will be thick with His love.
A couple of years ago I read the book The Hole in Our Gospel by Richard Stearns and it greatly impacted me. It enlarged my view on fatherhood. Ephesians 3:14-15 has the same affect.
“For this reason, I bow my knees before the Father, (15) Whom every family in Heaven and on Earth is named.”
Listen to one of my favorite Scriptures found in Malachi 4:6
“He will turn the hearts of the fathers toward their children, and the hearts of the children towards their fathers...”
Part of a father’s game is the impact we have on a future generation, the legacy we leave.
Moses has a great lesson to teach us about directions in Exodus 33:14-15, listen to this.
“And He said, My presence shall go with you, and I will give you rest. (15) And he said to Him, If Your presence does not go with me, do not carry us up from here.”
My path to wholeness includes me becoming a dad. At first my strongest desire to be a great father was because I wanted to be different than my dad. Growing up in an abusive home will do that to a kid. Now, years later, my desire is fueled by knowing it honors and mirrors my heavenly Father’s heart
To live free is to understand how Jesus lived. In all his dealings with humanity, Jesus never let success or opposition have power over him. The trappings of success and opposition share a common hook, both will try to latch on and define who we are. Jesus lived free because he remained true to he was.
In Psalm 101:2-3 we read a powerful reminder.
I will ponder the way that is blameless. Oh when will you come to me? I will walk with integrity of heart within my house; (3) I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless.
This verse has me thinking about my heart. It's a great reminder of the influence I have over my family, the impact I have in their lives. I must walk with integrity wherever I am but it is at home that it matters most!
Gratitude is an action word, a powerful muscle of expressing thanks and gratefulness. It is also, I believe, relational.
Did you know it takes an olive plant about 15 years to grow into a tree. What does have to do with children?
One of my heart’s desires is to see people set free, to see them in a vibrant and full relationship with Christ.
The Father’s love is reliable, powerful, penetrating, redemptive, personal and life changing.
I’m a firm believer in making proclamations; they are reminders of who we really are in Christ.
When you surrendered to Christ, did you realize the target you placed on yourself? Now you have a fight on your hands.
If I was a Superhero; my name would be “Death Grip”. If that sounds like an awful name for a Superhero, let me explain why it fits.
I’m not a big fan of Halloween. It’s hard for me to celebrate a holiday dedicated to giving sugar rushes and dental decay to children. However, God used my neighbor Fred (not his real name) to teach me a lesson
It's hard work to be a good dad. It's a hard core dedicated, extreme makeover type of a adventure.
To me gentleness is not about being tame or weak, it’s about liberation. Freed to open our hearts towards our children and pour love into them.
Circumstances offer no hope, no relief and cause us angst of Biblical proportions…but, that’s not what where our hope lies.
To journey with God has nothing to do with our natural ability (or lack thereof), it doesn’t matter what we bring to the table or what gifts we possess.
Our children help us back to to en-JOY-ment, slowing us down to seize upon wonder moments and seeing God in them all. That is part of the reward system the Father has set up for us parents.
A relentless God is pursuing us...Father God is hungry for our hearts! How do we respond?
The Greek word for redemption describes the price paid for a prisoner of war…the price is paid and they are set free. We are all former POWs.
We can lose heart and our faith in God’s promises during difficult circumstances. Know what I think? I think we need to be “All-struck”.
My word has a lot to say about me...mostly negative. Sometimes my word snuffs the life right out of me. Each syllable reminding me of mistakes, each a drop of remorse or guilt...or worse. Why then should I believe my word?
In your God ordained genetic code, in your make up, and the person you are, is the power to affect the future.
The typical definition is this; a has been is one that is no longer famous, popular, successful, or useful or effective. Does that fit you? Find out why I don't think so.
We all have STUFF. Events that try to define us, wreck us, disrupt our walk, maim us and stunt our growth. What can we do about our stuff?
Are you a hero? What to find out how to be one? Listen to Jay Cookingham as he explains the connection between sonship and being a hero.
Am I crazy or am I not crazy enough? Sure it somewhat depends on the definition or perhaps who is doing the defining…maybe it only seems crazy. Maybe I’m crazy as a fox…maybe I’m so unpredictable that I seem unhinged. Or…am I rightly instructed and because of that I appear crazy to the world.
A call to father is simply following the example of father God, fleshed out in the life of Jesus, and how He draws us into a relationship with Him. The power of fathering is born in the spirit of adoption, the extreme makeover of people into sons and daughters.