Unwanted Answers: Recent Episodes
ALTD Podcasts
Unwanted Answers is the podcast you never wanted, and yet here it is. Adam & Tyler answer questions that have already been answered, reflect on the past, and talk to all kind of colorful characters like Huck the Prospector, Uncle Al and Aunt Ash, Skipper and the Captain, Babyface Antonio, Numbers Guy, and many more!
In this year's Halloween Special, we talk about trick-or-treating in the rich neighborhood, a haunted northern Michigan hotel, do a tarot read on a recurring guest, and remind you to cough up the candy.
We talk our typical absurdities like the Kentucky Meat Shower and mailing children via USPS, but this episode takes a surprising turn into ranting and joking about AI and LLM’s: something we both passionately despite. Fortunately for us, as human beings, we can create things like this podcast.
In this episode we pay tribute to the unlucky day itself by talking about frat knights, the cursed Robert the Doll, smelly cruises, and a man named Unlucky Bob.
And here begins Season 9 of Unwanted Answers! What a good day to start!
In our 2nd annual Unwanted New Year’s Special, this time in honor of the upcoming year of 2025, we not only make NEW bold predictions for this next year, we also cover last year’s psychic predictions and prove our abilities.
We also discuss Numbers Guy’s new years resolution, and give tips for how to host a good new year’s party!
It's not only our 8th annual Unwanted Christmas Special, it's also our 50th episode of Unwanted Answers! It's the season where we do all that we normally do on this deeply unwanted show, but now with royalty free holiday music and answers to questions about how to cope with the holidays! (And death looming). We discuss some cartoons needing to be deeply sad, learn about Unabomber Santa's side gig, discuss bootleg DVD's as gifts, and we hear from a snobby Christmas decoration critic. All wrapped up nicely for you to reject!
In this episode we spin a wheel full of our usual segments to see what fate wants us to answer to!
In this episode we talk about lot about weddings! Good and bad… Plus; the Wicked doll incident, Flintstone vitamins being the fountain of youth, and dealing with a stinky dead tooth – and we remember that it could always be worse (probably).
We talk about being too young to play Call of Duty, the secret section of video stores, bicycles v. tricycles, living in a constant state of paranoia, and play another UA Stinky Tomato game! This time we guess scores for Kevin James films.
We talk about major cities, what happened to country music, unusual cocktails, and Jeff’s experience with alien cloning.
In this episode we answer how to deal with a ruined birthday, how to give unlicensed tattoos, and discuss Soylent and hating mouth sounds! Also in this episode – a new segment! A sports event greater than any other happening in the first quarter of this year, where we pit our recurring guests against each other – it’s Unwanted Answers Recurring Cast Madness Bracket 2024. Who will win?
In this episode we talk about hating haircuts, water, taxes, our beautiful* country, Moose Murders on Broadway, and we answer questions like: What if you love someone who can’t be located? What’s the best way to deal with an over-gifter?
And excitingly, we introduce a new segment!: Our take on the Rotten Tomatoes guessing game; The Stinky Tomato Game: Sandler Edition (Brought to you by Huck).
*physically, not personality-wise.
Watch the video version of Huck’s Stinky Tomato Game on our YouTube channel!: https://www.youtube.com/@altdpodcasts
In this special first-ever NEW YEAR’s episode of Unwanted Answers, we talk about all things to think about going into the new year. Dogs, Rome, eggs, blood, calendars, pancakes, being framed, and a comprehensive history of Uncle Al and Aunt Ash. Finally, we give our official Unwanted Answers 2024 predictions — do we have what it takes to be among the best future-tellers? So follow us into 2024 and see how correct we were!
We also cap this episode off with some audio from our “holiday party” featuring all of our favorite reoccurring guests! That means you can join us in welcoming the new year by starting this episode at exactly 9:13:44PM to hear us count down to midnight!
It’s the 7th Unwanted Answers Christmas Special! Hoo-wee! In this special holiday episode, we talk about past holidays (including a most embarrassing Christmas story), historical December 25ths from the past, allergies to Christmas spirit, Unabomber Santa, furbabies, and finding a long lost pet named Fluffy as the final Christmas miracle of the year.
In this normal episode of Unwanted Answers, we give some advice to callers. What if you feel like a bee? What if you can't stand your coworker's mouth noises? We answer that and more, and of course, nothing is out of the ordinary in this episode!
This episode of Unwanted Answers is sponsored by:
The Hungry Mermaid
Babyface Antonio's Loan Service
Huck's Plumbing
Use code: HOOWEE at checkout.
For our 6(66)th annual Unwanted Answers holiday special, we talk about Christmas movies (good and bad. very very bad), we talk about the origin of Christmas cards and all the special cards we got from our special guest friends. We talk to our returning guest the Unemployed Actor about his Christmas roles, we talk about a wonderful gift to get your friends and family, and finally — we talk about mending a broken family around the holidays. Sweet stuff.
In this episode we discuss quitting jobs, really flat hats, really smart relatives, really weird beverages, garbage traditions, R rated movies, and whether you really NEED to send a thank you note.
In this episode we cover all the hard-hitting topics. Politics. The Arts. Sexism. Death. Love. Drugs. Religion. Speaking of religion—God forgive us because we also look at some NFT’s. shudder
Yup, we get a little PG-13 this episode. But don’t worry — we bleep the F word. We’re not monsters…
In this episode we talk about starting new eras, family lines full of disappointment, and urine in a coffee cup. And can you believe it – another new segment! Listen in. Please. I don't want to beg.
Happy Holidays, a Merry Christmas, and also sorry.
In this 5th annual Christmas Special, we talk about crappy gifts, the fantasy lore of the founding fathers, the Mouse Candle (please, please buy–we can't afford this show going on like this on zero pennies) and what to do if an unwanted relative insists on visiting.
This episode also has a very real sponsorship!!
Due to a 100% budget cut (from $0.01 to $0.00) this episode has been released late, but it's here! Just in time for the holidays! Speaking of holidays, our 5th annual Unwanted Christmas Special is coming out THIS CHRISTMAS DAY! Thank POD. So consider this episode a little stocking-stuffer (AKA, something you will forget about in like an hour and never again cherish the memory of).
Well, that was nice while it lasted. Paul is back for some Paul's Product Placement. We talk about some wild "what's been going on recently," learn about an overlooked and forgotten part of Civil War era history, and look at life through the eyes of a drifter.
It's a new era for Unwanted Answers. Where we have to answer the biggest question of all–Where do we go from here when Yahoo Answers is no more? Well, it turns out it's a pretty similar show, with all of your favorite segments and guests galore. Things are only ever going to be good and go our way from here on out!
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Yahoo Answers has been permanently shut down. What does this mean for our show? In this (“final”) episode of Unwanted Answers, we hold a funeral for the show we loved, when nobody else did. We talk about whether to shower with your eyes closed, Johnson & Johnson (please get vaccinated everyone), a radical proposition for the 50 states, getting to the Sun, an innovative new way to do art, Pluto, and starting a dried fruit business. It’s the grand finale.
Stay tuned, for later in the episode – a special report about our producer Paul.
Welcome to Season 5! And goodbye…
In this episode we get nostalgic again, talking about our local TV channels, and kids’ shows on PBS (good and bad). We also discuss children’s books, AMERICA, McDonald’s, and what to do about “Nathan.” And all allotted in a time longer than an entire particular presidency.
For our 30th episode we catch up on what we missed since last time–with each other, and the world–and there was a lot to cover! An actual fond memory of the past. A tale of a D&D character death. The political and viral sphere. And lastly for today, we answer a question which brings the mysterious Man-Ant to the forefront.
In 2020—Christmas comes with a vengeance. Join us for our 4th annual holiday special episode where we answer holiday themed questions from the internet. Find out what 100% of Unwanted Answers hosts now have in common, and hear what our recurring guests are up to this holiday season. We also list off some of the WORST gift ideas [Does Paul read this far into the description? Paul, if you’re reading this, I meant GOOD gift ideas] and talk about xmas history.
In this episode we talk about cats (the animal, not the musical), check in again with Uncle Al and Aunt Ash, and answer equally important questions we're equally qualified to answer such as; whether eating chicken salad makes you corrupt, and whether a grandmother should be in the delivery room for their grandchild's birth.
In this episode recorded on Friday the 13th, we talk about our respective Halloweens, and ever scarier—the week of the 2020 election! This episode is the political show that no one asked for (don’t worry, it’s still light-hearted). But then we finally get on to our questions and other regular segments. Find out progress that’s been made to have crows save the world, then maybe we won’t need politics! Just Crow Boy…
In this special Halloween episode we talk literally getting coronavirus and other horrors of the month of October. We talk about Halloween history, and answer the most pressing Halloween themed questions from the internet. How can I make people think I’m a vampire? How do I go to the store in full clown costume? It’s our first Halloween Special of Unwanted Answers!
It's a big milestone for Unwanted Answers—the big quarter-hundred episode extravaganza! Join us for our biggest episode yet, as we talk to many of our favorite guests like Uncle Al and Aunt Ash, Huck, Babyface Antonio, The Captain, The Skipper, Numbers Guy, The Unemployed Actor (and unfortunately producer Paul dodged our requests for an in-person interview in favor of continued veiled threats).
Unwanted Answers has changed a lot since episode one, but we still remember the good old days! In between our regular segments and answering questions you'll hear us revisit some older questions from the very beginning.
Thanks everyone for joining us for our 25th episode milestone, one we can't say we expected to get to, and we can't say anyone wanted us to get to, and yet here it is! And somehow, it's not ending anytime soon either, but, who knows, if we lose our 1-5 cent funding for this thing we might be cancelled before we have a chance to say goodbye. Here's to 26, and so on!
In this episode we answer what to do if you worry someone thinks you’re following them, whether you can legally buy alcohol while drunk, we hear the beginnings of the wonderful lifelong relationship between Uncle Al and Aunt Ash, and we talk about Cracker Barrel.
In this episode we talk about our worst restaurants for a great length of time before talking about a disappointing bridge, what to do if you’re bitten by a bat and become the real-life Batman (or, for copyright purposes, something else), and what to do if you suspect contaminated fast food.
In this episode we talk about a complicated family pregnancy test drama, a brother overshadowed by his more criminally successful brothers, a beloved bee, and the return of Babyface Antonio. It’s the episode of family drama.
In this episode, we we let problem-havers know what they should do when they're in love with their dog, when you don't want to turn 22, and the moral quandary of whether you should sneak jumps on your neighbor's trampoline. Sponsered by the phone-answering robot.
In this episode we talk about life in quarantine. We talk about losing $37 and present the First Annual Robby Awards. We talk about Popeye, and method acting as a cat. It's Season 4 of Unwanted Answers! Those protesters are somethin', huh?
In this episode we address the elephant in the room, talk about the bold return of a scammer, the the return of the numbers guy, answer what to do if you’re a mother and your daughter annoyingly keeps calling you mother, and most excitingly—batteries!
Welcome to Unwanted Answers Christmas Special III: Skipper’s Worst Christmas. In this episode, just in the nick of time, we talk about everything the holiday spirit is all about. Bathroom humor, Santa breaking your legs, Your mom’s affair, a threatening child mafia boss, and never getting what you want in the end (just like the skipper). Like a present you never wanted, this special holiday episode is wrapped up and here again!
In this episode we talk about avoiding being indoctrinated into a cult, an extremely risque story involving removing gloves, how to explain to your dad why you bought $70 protein powder, always staying 10 feet away from everyone, and more! All while under quite a bit of fire from our producer.
In this episode we talk about frog charity, a clean bank robber, horse trauma, the mysterious case of Buckwheat, and more!
We're back! And unwanted! This episode we talk about a tragically stolen pen, tainted popcorn, dirty jeans, the #1 late-career Adam Sandler fan, and more!
Were back with our 2nd Unwanted Christmas Special In this episode we answer holiday questions such as How can Santa be more environmentally conscious What if your favorite shirt stops being sold just before Christmas What if youre living in a Christmas decoration overloaded nightmare Find out in this very special and very unwanted episode Also Our worst Christmas gifts and thievery Just in time for the holidays Dont trust the skipper
In episode unlucky 13 we tell stories about begging for 4 dollars introducing yourself as Bob and some longlasting pottery trauma We even enthusiastically sign up for MySpace live on the podcast Also we urge everyone to take the role seriously when you dress up as a black widow watch some odd videos andas two grown menimitate a babytalking person until you truly want this show less than you ever haveApologies again for parts with lackluster audio technology has betrayed us
When does a wish at 1111 come true Is this guy from WalMart my longlost brother Thats right were back and more honest than ever for season 2 this time with new segments where well let you know what happened on this day in history present a rap thatll teach you how to prepare the perfect fast food burger and even show just how Star Wars Prequel quotes can be applied to answer any questionApologies for any lackluster audio in this episode technology betrayed us Also a warning for some vague Infinity War spoilers but to be fair with names completely removed so its vague enough
You certainly didnt ask for it yet here it is Another Unwanted Answers with no answers but we do reminisce as is often a segment on the show remembering the end of the year 1999 and the toll it took on us that it ended at all We talk about old Mac educational software stupid kindergarteners and a favorite childrens book series Also we reveal some potential new segment ideas for the pod You didnt ask for this and hey neither did we this wasnt even originally an Unwanted Answers episode But here it is after too long of a break were backSource KURTdp77 on YouTube for the KidPix sound effectspp1 margin 00px 00px 00px 00px font 120px Helvetica Neue color e4af0a
Unwanted Answers is 1 year old No one wanted it to begin with but here we are one year later One years worth of questions and for this celebratory episode ending season 1 we go back through memory lane and reread some of our most memorable questions We reminisce on everything weve learning over the course of Unwanted Answers and the morals weve incorporated into our lives thanks to the questions others on the internet have asked And here a year later still no one asked for any of this Yet here it is
We answer some actual questions this week such as What if your mom wont give you the iPhone X Which superpower would you choose the ability to talk to ducks or find any good parking space Whats the best way to receive flowers And we do some Star Wars prequel quoting Join us for this total downer of an episode D
This week we answer NOTHINGthats right no one asked for the answers and well no one got them We do however chat at length about enthralling topics such as signing petitions substitute teachers libraries Titanic 2 the Blockbuster employee training video featuring the greatest method actor of our generation and the biggest reveal of the show so far
In this Unwanted Answers we talk at length about the true crime tale of the century the middle school Smarties sniffers but after plenty of reminiscing and much talk about The Office we answer questions too Including How does one best depict Danny Devito in a painting Which animals are real Why did my boss invite me to his wedding You didnt ask for the answers but here they are
In this Unwanted Answers we correctly answer topics such as writing a letter to a judge dealing with being stalked by girl scouts what to do if a demon falls in love with you opening a restaurant in a funeral home and do labels given in 4th grade last for life These are the questions with answers you didnt ask for
In this Holiday Special episode of Unwanted Answers we answer what to do about a dying Christmas tree sending a Christmas card to your mistress being shocked with Christmas lights not getting a scooter from Santa and the upcoming Christmas Extended Universe Its the Unwanted Answers Christmas Special a holiday tradition you already wish would go away
On this posttrilogy episode of Unwanted Answers we become psychics by holding a tarot card reading answer how to escape Lightning McQueen ponder European FastFood chains in the USA the problem with throwing corn cobs on someones lawn and walking on the sun
In this return episode of Unwanted Answers we answer just what to do if you see a dinosaur what to do if you accidentally eat a penny living without your rubber ducky and how to safely look at a picture of the sun We also experience a blast from the past the likes of which we never thought wed see again And again And again
On this episode of Unwanted Answers Adam and Tyler answer more questions before getting sidetracked talking about The Office We eventually answer thrilling questions Can you sue a pizza place How was the Grand Canyon created What is the king of the Jungle Can you share embarrassing stories about your parents Find out on Unwanted Answers
Hosts Adam and Tyler give the answers no one wanted to questions found on the internet We talk about if psychics are real can you name a jerky business Bambi are horoscopes wrong about marriage and Golden Carole vs Buffalo Wild wings Youve got questions weve got answers Not the ones you were hoping for but weve still got them