Tentpole Trauma: Recent Episodes
Tentpole Trauma
A podcast where we look at movies that came with hype and high hopes, but left with crushing disappointment, either critically, at the box office, or both.
Based on an obscure comicbook character, Madame Web hoped to cash in on the goodwill of the tangentially related Marvel Cinematic Universe as well as the success of the animated Spiderverse films. But the Sony produced movie was ensnared in toxic buzz from the outset, the goofy trailers and mocking reviews ensuring that it would be yet another bomb for a female-led superteam. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they flex their powers of premonition and suffer through this laughably awful spider-flop.
Before Marvel’s Avengers became a household name, there was the quirky 1960’s British spy series made popular by the presence of Diana Rigg in a cat suit. More than thirty years past the show’s prime a big budget feature film was attempted, but despite the presence of OG James Bond Sean Connery, Ralph Fiennes and a post Batman & Robin Uma Thurman donning the catsuit, the movie met with disaster critically and at the box office. Join Sebastian and the Mighty Peculiar’s Matt Anderson as they try to decode this baffling, inexplicable mess of a spy thriller.
Henry Cavill may be a fan favorite choice for Bond, but his forays into the super spy game have met with largely lackluster box office results. This has proven especially true for Argylle, director Matthew Vaughn’s Romancing the Stone riff that left Cavill fans unsatisfied and baffled most audiences and critics. Join Sebastian and Whiskey with Witcher hosts Tim and Valerie as they discuss the former Superman’s departure from the Netflix Witcher series, bizarre hairstyle choices and the questionable usage of new Beatles needle drops.
Hollywood had been looking to get the Planet of the Apes franchise back into orbit for 20 plus years, but it wasn’t until Tim Burton signed on to direct that the 2001 remake took sh(ape). But despite boasting incredible Rick Baker makeups, Marky Mark as the lead human and an impressive box office haul, the reaction to the film was so toxic that 20th Century Fox studios declined to opt for a sequel. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they make monkeys out of themselves trying to unpack the movie’s ruinously bananas twist endings.
Coming strong after the one-two punch of The Terminator and Aliens, director James Cameron was poised to reach A-level status with his wildly ambitious underwater sci fi action film The Abyss. But despite overcoming a torturous and fraught-filled production, the would-be blockbuster left audiences confused upon its 1989 theatrical release and did not ascend to the box office or critical heights Cameron hoped for. Join Sebastian, Chris and Rodney as they deep dive into the new spectacularly restored 4K director’s cut and argue over the merits of Michael Biehn’s villainous mustache.
After the billion dollar success of Captain Marvel, a sequel to the Brie Larson led superhero hit seemed destined for the stars. But even with the power of Marvel studios and Disney behind it, not to mention the addition of the characters of Ms. Marvel and Monica Rambeau, Nia DaCosta’s 220 million dollar team-up didn’t even make its budget back worldwide, a catastrophic blow for the once unstoppable brand. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they switch powers, herd man-eating alien cats and try to determine why The Marvels was the biggest bomb in the MCU’s history.
Special effects wizard Douglas Trumbull hoped to bring his mind-bending 2001: A Space Odyssey visuals down to earth with Brainstorm, a 1983 sci fi thriller starring Christopher Walken and Natalie Wood. Unfortunately Wood’s tragic death by drowning cast a pall over the film, delaying its release and resulting in a muddled narrative and baffling special effects sequences that failed to live up to Trumbull’s lofty ambitions along with any hope of box office redemption. Join Sebastian and Troy as they don their psychic headsets, record their innermost fears and seek answers to the afterlife by discussing this cursed mess of a production.
Russell Crowe returning to the historical epic genre at the peak of his post-Gladiator fame would seem a sure bet in 2003, and yet Peter Weir’s Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World met with a tepid box office response upon its maiden voyage. Despite being an exquisitely crafted adaptation of the beloved Patrick O’Brian novels and garnering several Oscars, the film failed to launch the hoped for franchise — though appreciation has grown for it over the years, particularly with millennials. Join Sebastian and Andrew as they hoist up the top sails and celebrate this high water mark of seafaring historical cinema.
Probably no one would have predicted that in 2023 the duo behind Game Night would deliver the definitive cinematic take on the genre-defining TRS role playing game Dungeons & Dragons, and yet John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein’s Honor Among Thieves managed that seemingly impossible task. But despite a great cast, a clever and funny script and blockbuster level production values, the film failed to conjure magic at the box office. Join Sebastian and Richard as they roll the dice against owlbears, gelatinous cubes and a pudgy red dragon while celebrating this treasure of a film.
The late 90s saw horror in a transitional phase, and while the trend was favoring the post-modern tact of Scream, many filmmakers were taking their end-of-the-millennium angst to the stars. Despite being arguably the best of the spacefaring bunch, Paul W.S. Anderson’s Event Horizon failed to conjure excitement with critics and quickly fell into a box office black hole. Join Sebastian and Rodney as they grapple with the vacuum of space, open a portal to hell and debate the merits of this Alien by way of The Shining cult classic.
In the wake of the meteoric success of Star Wars (and several decades before owning the franchise) Disney tried their hand at big budget space adventure with The Black Hole. But despite boasting impressive special effects and a promising premise, the movie’s dark tone, haunted house shenanigans and muddled science left audiences drifting in a void of indifference. Join Troy and Sebastian as they grapple with questionable physics, proverb pontificating robots and the far out ending to one of the Mouse House’s wildest late 70s misfires.
After acquiring Lucasfilm in 2012, Disney was banking big on a 5th installment of the beloved and lucrative Indiana Jones franchise. After years of development and the passing of the torch from original director Steven Spielberg to the capable James Mangold, Harrison Ford — now in his late 70s — agreed to don the whip and fedora for one last adventure. Unfortunately the resulting Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny bombed hard at the box office to the tune of an estimated 100 million dollar loss. Join Sebastian, Chris and Rodney as they turn back time, dust off some ancient tombs and wrestle with the world-altering consequences of this dial of disaster.
The first superhero film to emphasize Latino representation, Angel Manuel Soto's Blue Beetle was so well received by Warner Brothers executives that it was spared a straight-to streaming fate and awarded a theatrical release. But despite the presence of Cobra Kai's Xolo Mariduena, Latino comedian Geoge Lopez and Susan Sarandon in the villain role, the movie could not escape the DCEU death knell and fared poorly at the box office. Join Sebastian and Blue Beetle superfan Matt Anderson as they dive deep into the lore of this semi-obscure character, debate the quality and quantity of comic book movie tropes and wonder if James Gunn will honor his promise to keep the character around for the DCU reboot. Plus, what the heck is a space scarab anyway?
Despite being released a mere six months after the hit western Tombstone, Kevin Costner was confident that his telling of the Wyatt Earp story, with director Lawrence Kasdan in tow, would be the definitive take on the legendary lawman. But the film’s epic length and self-serious tone met with tepid critical reception despite strong performances, and roped in a disastrously small take at the box office, resulting in the first in a string of Costner-fronted mega bombs. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they mosey down to the OK Corral and rustle up some reconsideration for this messy but ambitious biopic.
Trick or treat motherf**ker! After the triumphant return of Jamie Lee Curtis and the cathartic killing of Michael Myers in 1998’s H20, there was nowhere to go but down. Unfortunately, Rick Rosenthal’s 2002 follow-up failed to meet even the lowest of fan expectations with an ignominious death for Laurie Stride, a terrible Blair Witch inspired premise and a karate kicking Bustah Rhymes. Join Sebastian and the Mighty Peculiar podcast’s Matt Anderson as they investigate this rotten pumpkin of a sequel.
Though not a hit upon release, Frank Darabont’s adaptation of Stephen King’s The Shawshank Redemption was a beloved classic by the mid aughts, so hopes were high that the director’s post Green Mile return to King territory with 2007’s The Mist would deliver. And though critics were kind to the bleak, apocalyptic creature-fest, audience reaction and box office numbers were decidedly lukewarm. Join Troy and Sebastian as they gaze into a whole new dimension in terror and celebrate the sweet despair of this yet-to-be minted classic.
Sports movies enjoyed a renaissance in the 90s, so it was all but inevitable that by the year 2000 rising superstar Will Smith would get his shot at starring in one. Unfortunately, The Legend of Bagger Vance, directed by Robert Redford and co-starring Matt Damon and Charlize Theron, weathered criticism for its liberal use of problematic racial tropes and failed to generate boffo box office or the awards season heat it was clearly swinging for. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Greatest Games Never Played co-host Andrew Te as they take to the green to discuss this magically sub-par sports drama.
Hopes were high for bringing DC comics’ preeminent scarlet speedster to the big screen, and the addition of Michael Keaton — returning to the role of Batman — only added fuel to the pre-release hype. But a deeply troubled leading man and countless delays decelerated the excitement, resulting in one of the biggest box office flops of the 2023 blockbuster season. Join Sebastian and DC superfan Matt Anderson as they reckon with the the failure of the DCEU, the toxic effect of Ezra Miller’s legacy and consider better realities for Andy Muschetti’s otherwise enjoyable The Flash.
Before landing the job of running the revamped DC cinematic universe, auteur James Gunn jumped ship from Marvel to direct The Suicide Squad, a sequel to the 2016 film of (almost) the same name. Bringing with him his unique blend of twisted heart and humor, as well as a penchant for D-list comic book characters, Gunn’s film landed well with fans but suffered serious casualties at the box office. Join Sebastian and Jennifer on a mission to celebrate all things Gunn, consider why the film fumbled financially, and prognosticate on the future of the DC cinematic universe.
The original Speed was a huge hit that cemented Keanu Reeves as an action hero and made a star of Sandra Bullock, so naturally the studio and director Jan de Bont were eager to get the band back together for the sequel. But Keanu didn’t return, leaving Sandy to shoulder Speed 2: Cruise Control with replacement Jason Patric, new villain Willem Dafoe and a questionable terrorist plot involving a not very fast moving cruise ship, resulting in one of the 90s’ biggest blockbuster bombs. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they head for the tropics on the ship that sunk a once promising action franchise.
Despite the fact that the door seemed to be closed on the Indiana Jones series, creators George Lucas and Steven Spielberg, along with star Harrison Ford, decided to don the iconic hat and whip for a fourth entry with 2008’s Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. And while the film was financially successful, fans roundly rejected its central saucermen conceit, the addition of Shia LaBeouf as Indy’s son Mutt, and the overuse of questionable CG. With a fifth film in theaters and the franchise in the doldrums under Disney, Sebastian, Chris and Rodney join Indy on one last globetrotting archeological adventure to discuss this much maligned entry in one of cinema’s most beloved intellectual properties.
Horror remakes were all the rage by the mid 2000s, so a remake of the seminal folk horror classic The Wicker Man was all but inevitable. Armed with a crazy Nic Cage performance and seasoned indie director Neil LaBute at the helm, the 2006 reimagining was set to catch fire at the box office but fizzled instead, failing to justify its hefty 40 million dollar budget. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Troy as they travel to Summer’s Isle to reevaluate this much maligned effort and sacrifice their sanity in worship of the modern era’s most bizarre and fascinating remakes.
H.G. Wells’ tale of genetic tampering had been adapted for the big screen before Richard Stanley attempted it again in 1996, but never before had a version gone so horribly awry. Plagued by misbehaving stars Val Kilmer and Marlon Brando, Stanley himself being fired and replaced by veteran director John Frankenheimer, and numerous onset mishaps, the production would live in infamy for its wildly troubled evolution, one that resulted in a monstrous mess of a finished product. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they dig into the DNA of this experiment gone wrong and try to escape from the famously doomed adaptation of The Island of Dr. Moreau.
The stardom of both Henry Cavill and cannibal fetishist Armie Hammer was on the rise in 2015, making it the perfect time to team them up in a buddy spy movie directed by Guy Ritchie. But despite a solid effort, a groovy 60’s period setting and the always beguiling Alicia Vikander, this re-imaging of the cult TV show cried uncle at the box office. Join special agents Sebastian and Matt as they crack the code behind the Man from U.N.C.L.E.’s failure.
Val Kilmer was riding high as a leading man in 1997, so it made sense that he’d try his hand at establishing his own globetrotting espionage role. Sadly the resulting reimagining of the 60s British TV sensation The Saint turned out more Boring Identity than Bond, torpedoing a potential franchise and setting Kilmer’s career into a funk from which it never fully recovered. Join Sebastian and Matt as they don multiple disguises and crack the code on cold fusion to unravel this convoluted and confounding spy-style thriller.
The Scream franchise may have been dormant for over ten years, but hopes were still high for Wes Craven and company’s 2011 remake-era reboot, Scream 4. But despite returning stars Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox and David Arquette, as well as a promising new cast, the film failed to scare up significant returns at the box office. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Rodney as they go over the rules and are menaced by Ghostface in discussing this unfairly maligned outing.
Based on the beloved Nintendo side scroller, the 1993 live action Super Mario Bros. movie was poised to prove the viability of video games making the jump to the big screen. Sadly, despite boasting the talents of Bob Hoskins, John Leguizamo, Samantha Mathis and Dennis Hopper, as well as big budget special effects, the film laid a dinosaur-sized egg at the box office and left audiences baffled by what they had watched. Join Sebastian and Steve as they dodge barrels, take magic mushrooms and attempt to reach the final level of this puzzling early video game adaptation.
An adaptation of TSR’s seminal role playing was long in the cards, or the 20 sided dice as it were, but it wasn’t until the year 2000 that the first big screen effort was launched. Unfortunately Courtney Solomon’s Dungeons and Dragons was a catastrophic misfire marred by hammy performances, poor scripting and monstrously bad CGI, bombing hard at the box office and placing a wizard’s curse on the franchise over the next two decades. Join Sebastian and Richard as they face the Eye of the Beholder and plunder the dungeon depths of this irredeemable travesty of the fantasy genre.
The television phenomenon of Twin Peaks had cooled by 1992, but that didn’t stop creator and arthouse darling David Lynch from directing a theatrical prequel, Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. The reaction was less than enthusiastic; critics couldn’t make sense of Lynch’s unconventional narrative, and fans of the show were upset by the lack of characters and humor they had come to expect. And yet, despite a tepid box office, the film gained a cult following and the franchise survived in the form of a 2017 sequel series on Showtime. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Troy as they enter the Black Lodge and attempt to untangle this surreal and misunderstood masterwork.
Fair is fair! Teenage rebellion and MTV were all the rage in the 80s, so it was only natural that a film would come along to capitalize on both trends and become a box office sensation. Sadly, Matthew Robbins’ The Legend of Billie Jean, starring hot young newcomers Helen and Christian Slater, was not that film. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they stand up and face the enemy to discuss this legendary box office failure.
With a director at the height of his game and a star at the early peak of his fame, Blow Out, directed by Brian De Palma and starring John Travolta, was poised to be one of the big hits of 1981. But despite being a rock solid re-imagining of Michelangelo Antonioni’s Blow Up and a nail-biting thriller in its own right, the film blew a flat tire at the box office. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they comb the audio files for clues as to why this clever and suspenseful neo noir failed to blow up commercially.
The 90s saw a resurgence in the western genre, though none of the many offerings outside of Clint Eastwood’s Unforgiven were major hits. Unfortunately that held true for Mario Van Peebles’ Posse, which distinguished itself by featuring a mostly black cast and was the star/director’s follow up to his enormously successful New Jack City. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and VQ as they celebrate black representation in the old west and rustle up some posse love for this gunslinging cult classic.
Not to be confused with the 90s death cult of the same name, Michael Cimino’s Heaven’s Gate, was, for a time, synonymous with the words “box office bomb”. Credited with ending the auteur driven studio system of the 70s, the Oscar winning director’s epic western was an exercise in excess, from the wildly bloated budget, to the interminable running time, to the star-studded but underutilized cast. Join Sebastian and Troy as they storm the gates of heaven to reevaluate a film that, for better or worse, changed the course of cinema history.
A favorite among the board gaming set, Parker Brother’s Clue, with its parlor mystery whodunnit premise, seemed a natural fit for a big screen adaptation. But despite being armed with an all-star cast of top shelf comedic talent, the film failed to generate intrigue from audiences and critics, resulting in a box office flop. Join Sebastian and EnCLUEthesiast Jennifer as they piece together the mystery of why this farcical cult classic was dead on arrival when it hit theaters in 1985.
Stephen King's The Dark Tower fantasy series has been a long-gestating white whale project in Hollywood, passing through countless development hands and having many promising false starts. Hopes were high when a feature film finally came to fruition in 2017 starring Idris Elba as the heroic Gunslinger and Matthew McConaughey as his Man in Black nemesis, only to be dashed when the film arrived as a slapdash, woefully truncated pastiche with little fealty to the beloved source material or its iconic characters, gunning down any hopes of a viable franchise. Join Sebastian and Dark Tower superfan Rodney as they forget the faces of their fathers, as well as much of this movie, as they attempt to make sense of this mangled mess of an IP cash-in.
Madman director Paul Verhoeven was riding high off of several blockbuster successes when he re-teamed with Basic Instinct writer and fellow madman Joe Ezterhaus for a film about the sordid lives of Las Vegas showgirls. Their resulting collaboration, 1995’s Showgirls, was met with resounding box office failure and critical derision, tanking the career of its unlikely lead, Saved By the Bell’s Elizabeth Berkeley. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Violent Night writer Josh Miller as they hit the stage to celebrate this piece of celluloid insanity that has since gone on to be recognized as a cult cinema masterpiece.
He-Man and the Masters of the Universe may have been past their prime by 1987, but that didn’t stop shlockmeisters Golan and Globus from capitalizing on the popular toy and cartoon property by attempting a big budget film adaptation. Despite casting a near-perfect He-Man in Dolph Lundgren and boasting up and comer Courteney Cox, as well as a delightfully hammy Frank Langella in the role of the villainous Skeletor, the film tanked with fans and critics and helped to bankrupt Cannon films. Join Sebastian and Richard as they grasp for the power and grapple with this campy 80s fantasy misfire.
Spirits were high for A list screenwriter David Koepp’s sophomore directorial outing, an adaptation of the Richard Matheson short story A Stir of Echoes. But despite the presence of leading man Kevin Bacon, the film’s release was six degrees too close to another mega hit ghost story with a similar premise, burying Koepp’s otherwise solid effort in an early box office grave. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they unearth this underrated late 90s supernatural thriller and discuss whether or not it has achieved cult status post mortem.
Following the high profile failure of Lady In the Water, famed director M. Night Shyamalan ignored the naysayers and doubled down on absurd high concepts with 2008’s The Happening. The results were resoundingly mocked by fans and critics alike, dragging down the director’s already sinking reputation, as well as the careers of leads Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel. Join Sebastian and Jennifer for a cool lemon drank as they attempt to justify this loopy and enjoyably ludicrous happening.
It’s a post Christmas miracle from Pandora — Tentpole Trauma sees you, and you’ve been very nice this year, so as a gift we give you this month’s Tentpole Triumph discussion of Avatar as a bonus episode! Join Sebastian, Chris and Rodney as they finally hash it out over the #1 box office champ of all time, director James Cameron and what they anticipate from the long awaited sequel Avatar: The Way of Water. If you like what you hear, consider becoming a Patreon subscriber at — https://www.patreon.com/tentpoletrauma to get more Triumph in your life. Happy Holidays from everyone at the Tentpole Trauma family!
Many expected that James Cameron’s long promised adaptation of the famed manga Battle Angel Alita would never materialize, but when the megastar director conceded the reigns to Robert Rodriguez, the project was at last brought to life. Sadly, the uncanny valley effect of the film’s bug-eyed CG protagonist did not entice large audiences, and while well regarded by fans of the manga, the response was not effusive enough to guarantee the sequel promised in the film’s ending. Join Sebastian, Chris and Rodney as they strip this cyborg for parts and debate if there’s still a way forward for this cyberpunk wannabe franchise.
How do you follow up the wildly successful original Star Wars trilogy? If you’re George Lucas, you get your buddy Ron Howard to direct a Lord of the Rings riff starring Val Kilmer and the actor who played the lead Ewok in Return of the Jedi! The resulting film, 1988’s curiously titled Willow, did not conjure magic at the box office, but has engendered enough fan good will to spawn a current Disney + series. Join swashbuckling buddies Sebastian and Richard as they revisit this staple of 80s cinematic fantasy and give their thoughts on the whether or not the new show is worthy to wear the name “Willow”.
Director John Boorman was riding high off the success of Deliverance in 1974, but when he couldn’t get his adaptation of Lord of the Rings off of the ground, he opted instead for a mind-bending journey into sci fi with his bizarre vision of the future, Zardoz. 20th Century Fox hoped they had another 2001: A Space Odyssey or Planet of the Apes on their hands, but despite the presence of Sean Connery in the lead, the reaction to the admittedly absurd film was poisonous. Join Sebastian and Troy, two self-proclaimed Zardoz acolytes, as they storm the Tabernacle and attempt to make sense of this wild and wonderful 70s dystopian fever dream.
The Blade franchise was rolling full force when the third entry, helmed by writer David S. Goyer, hit theaters in 2004. Rumors of star Wesley Snipes’ unhappiness with the franchise’s new direction — namely adding hot young stars Ryan Reynolds and Jessica Biel to the cast as usurping vampire hunters — plagued the production, and the resulting film flopped with fans and staked out diminished box office returns. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Fear of a Black Movie Critic’s VQ as they drag this tonally confused bloodsucker into the light and ask themselves the eternal question — is this the worst Dracula ever put on film?
Hopes were high for celebrated Canadian auteur David Cronenberg’s return to the body horror genre he all but originated, and the trailers for his 2022 film Crimes of the Future promised serious sci fi weirdness. But despite a strong showing on the festival circuit, the film disappointed many fans and didn’t make the cut at the box office. Join Sebastian and Cronenberg superfan Troy as they dissect this curious late stage offering from one of the true masters of science fiction horror.
With the failure of Atlantis: The Lost Empire, blood was already in the water for Disney’s next animated outing, a sci fi update of Robert Louis Stevenson’s classic Treasure Island. Sadly, when Treasure Planet finally landed in 2002, despite its impressive visuals and a talented cast of voice actors, it sunk like a pirate’s chest at the box office. Join Sebastian and Richard as they sail the stars and re-appreciate this buried treasure of 2D animation.
Seemingly doomed from the start, the sixth installment of the famed Halloween series, Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers, shaped up to be a rotten pumpkin for fans when it hit theaters in 1995. Helmed by Joe Chapelle and written by super fan Daniel Farrands, the film added a ludicrous backstory for the iconic slasher, suffered the real life death of mainstay Donald Pleasence, and featured a baffling debut performance by future Ant-Man Paul Rudd. Join Sebastian, Matt, and the Grindbin podcast’s Bobby as they cast the runes, weather the curse of Thorn and suffer through two versions of this franchise altering trainwreck.
One of the most disturbing and distinctive horror franchises of the 80s, Clive Barker’s Hellraiser series, with its iconic figurehead Pinhead, was poised to torment moviegoers well into the 90s and beyond. Unfortunately the fourth film in the series, attributed to fictional director Alan Smithee, took the chain wielding Cenobites into space and ultimately into the dustbins of straight-to-video hell. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Rodney in lamenting this puzzle-box mess of a movie — they have such sights to show you!
If any filmmaker was capable of bringing the horrific insanity of HP Lovecraft to the big screen in the mid 90s, it was John Carpenter. Though not a direct adaptation of any specific Lovecraft work, 1994’s In the Mouth of Madness boasts the talents of madmen Sam Neill and Jurgen Prochnow, but failed to make an impression at the box office. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they summon the Old Ones and lose their minds over this undervalued entry in the Carpenter canon.
By the mid-eighties the Friday the 13th franchise was all but unstoppable; even part 4’s promise of being “the final chapter” became an empty promise when the box office receipts came in. But despite the fresh start implied by the title, Danny Steinman’s Friday the 13th: A New Beginning got a stale reception from critics and threatened to end the hockey masked slasher series once and for all. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they resurrect (not really) Jason Voorhees for a discussion on this sleazy, soft core entry in the franchise.
Riding high of a decade of triumph, Disney was hoping to capture the boy demographic with their Jules Verne inspired adventure Atlantis: The Lost Empire. But despite impressive, CG enhanced animation and a strong voice cast led by Michael J. Fox and Leonard Nimoy, the film was the first Disney animated feature in over a decade to disappoint at the box office. Join Sebastian and Richard as they decipher the secrets of the sunken kingdom to determine how this enjoyable romp fell short.
Helping to usher in the sword and sorcery boom of the early 80s, Matthew Robbins’ Dragonslayer was a big budget extravaganza that required the financing of both Paramount and Disney studios. But despite delivering jaw-dropping effects and a solid hero’s journey storyline, the film failed to catch the box office fire necessary to justify its considerable expense. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they brave the dragon’s lair to revisit this Game of Thrones inspiring fantasy classic.
Riding high off his smash hit The Exorcist, director William Friedkin decided his follow-up would be a big budget remake of Henri Clouzot’s seminal suspense film Wages of Fear. Friedkin’s effort, inexplicably retitled Sorcerer, was a brutal South American shoot with Jaws star Roy Scheider in the lead, but a little movie called Star Wars exploded on to the scene, leaving Sorcerer to break down at the box office. Join Sebastian and Troy as they brave the perils of the jungle in a truck full of nitroglycerin to re-evaluate this white-knuckle bomb.
Part two of pulp hero appreciation continues with everyone’s favorite purple-suited, jungle dwelling crime fighter, the Phantom! Batman meets Indiana Jones was likely the elevator pitch that sold Paramount pictures on adapting Lee Falk’s long-running comic strip, but despite the able efforts of Billy Zane, Treat Williams, Catherine Zeta Jones and Kristy Swanson, the Ghost Who Walks took a nosedive at the box office. Join Sebastian and guest host Matt Anderson as they slam evil and take on the mantle of this oft-mocked but memorable adventure romp.
Who knows what box office disappointments lurk in the hearts of men? Coming in the — pun intended — shadow of Tim Burton’s mega hit Batman, 1994’s The Shadow tried to capture a similar pulpy magic. But despite a strong turn by Alec Baldwin in the titular role, the hoped-for superhero franchise never materialized. Join Sebastian and Matt as they pluck the weed of crime and taste the bitter fruit of this maligned but enjoyable crimefighting caper.
Look… up in the sky… it’s a bird… it’s a dame… it’s… a big budget flop! The Superman franchise was starting to stumble by the time Supergirl made her big screen debut in 1984, and despite the star power of Faye Dunaway and Peter O’Toole the film proved further kryptonite at the box office and with critics. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they unravel the mysteries of the omegahedron and take flight with this bugnuts slice of superhero cinema.
Armed with a high-priced Shane Black script and starring Bruce Willis at the height of his action hero stardom, Tony Scott’s The Last Boy Scout was poised to be a 1991 Christmas season juggernaut. But lackluster reviews and a disappointing box office take tarnished the film’s reputation until it emerged as a cult classic several decades later. Join Sebastian and Rodney at the kickoff line as they battle on the gridiron over this compellingly mean-spirited underperformer.
Reuniting the team behind Scream for a post-modern take on the werewolf genre seemed like a dream…until it devolved into a nightmare. Years of reshoots and production hell truly earned Wes Craven’s Cursed its name, and when it eventually hit theaters in 2005 audiences and critics were howling for blood. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they attempt to reevaluate and show pity for this catastrophic lycanthropic misfire.
2012’s Snow White and the Huntsman was something of a surprise hit, so it’s no surprise that Universal Studios ordered a sequel. Unfortunately by the time 2016 rolled around both director Rupert Sanders and star Kristen Stewart were off on other projects, leaving Chris Hemsworth and Charlize Theron to shoulder the film along with newcomers Jessica Chastain and Emily Blunt, resulting in an icy reception. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they consult the magic mirror to determine why The Huntsman: Winter’s War failed to be a box office fairy tale.
The film industry was hungry for fantasy franchises after the success of Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, and while Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials series didn’t seem an obvious choice, there was certainly potential in its alternate dimensional vision and chosen one narrative. But despite the presence Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig, Eva Green and cgi polar bears, Chris Weitz’s muddled effort, renamed The Golden Compass, failed to ignite the imagination of audiences and critics, bombing at the box office and sinking any hopes of the sequel it shamelessly set up. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they desperately try to find direction in this mess of YA steampunk, talking animals and confused world-building.
Hopes were high for the launch of Universal’s “Dark Universe”, a full slate of high profile, interconnected, big budget blockbusters that would revive the classic line-up of Universal Monsters. With mega-star Tom Cruise tapped to headline the first official effort — an action packed reboot of The Mummy directed by A-list writer Alex Kurtzman — success seemed all but inevitable, and yet the film tanked badly with audiences and critics. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they crack open the sarcophagus and attempt to dispel the franchise-killing curse that clings to this much maligned mummified misfire.
The Predator franchise was in something of a fallow period by the end of the previous decade, so when it was announced that genre hotshot Shane Black would be resurrecting the series, along with former collaborator Fred Dekker, there was cause for excitement among film fans. Sadly the end result was not the action/sci fi horror film most had hoped for — so what went wrong? Join badasses Sebastian, Chris and Rodney as they get to the chopper and hunt down this confused and frustrating flop.
In hindsight the odd marriage of burgeoning director Brian De Palma and superstar songwriter Paul Williams seems a recipe for 70s era success, but sadly their Faustian collaboration Phantom of the Paradise met with little appreciation at the time. Since then it has grown into a cult classic among genre fans, but is this twisted, glam rock take on The Phantom of the Opera worthy of such status? (Spoiler: it is!) Join Sebastian, Jennifer and special guest Beth Topping as they sell their souls for stardom in appreciation of this bizarre and delightfully campy horror musical.
Cinematic adaptations of bestselling author Stephen King are often a safe bet, and yet neither attempts at bringing his novel Firestarter to the big screen have generated significant heat at the box office. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they discuss both the Drew Barrymore 1984 version and the recent Zac Efron 2022 attempt and see if there’s any potential to be kindled from this pyrokinetic intellectual property.
Possibly the most interesting director to emerge in the last decade is Robert Eggers, so the news that he was crafting a 90 million dollar Viking blockbuster with his tireless penchant for verisimilitude was cause for celebration among film fans. Featuring hulking Norse god Alexander Skaarsgard as well as Nicole Kidman, Ethan Hawke and Willem Dafoe, the movie did not disappoint — except at the box office. Join Sebastian and Troy as they ride with the Valkyrie to Valhalla by heaping praise on this sadly underseen epic.
Riding the trend of YA dystopian adaptations and with the power of Peter Jackson behind it, Christian Rivers’ big budget steampunk extravaganza was poised to crush the competition when it hit theaters in 2018. But this engine stalled badly, racking up an embarrassing box office take and crashing the hopes of a fresh new sci fi franchise. Join Sebastian and Steve as they steamroll through the good, the bad, and the bonkers of the maligned and overlooked Mortal Engines.
The stories of the Brothers Grimm have endured throughout history, and arguably no director is better suited to adapting them than the wildly imaginative and irreverent Terry Gilliam. And yet, when his take on the material, starring hot stars Matt Damon and Heath Ledger, hit screens in 2005, it went virtually unnoticed. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they journey into the enchanted forest and try to find the magic in this big budget, fairytale failure.
A resurrection of the Robocop franchise was in the works for nearly a decade, and the post Marvel superhero boom seemed a perfect time to debut a new take on a crime fighting cyborg cop. But despite the best efforts of director Jose Padilha and a stellar cast featuring Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton and Joel Kinnaman, the 2014 remake missed the mark with fans and ticket buyers. Join Rodney and Sebastian as they crack the case on why this big budget reboot roboflopped.
In 2001 both Robin Williams and Edward Norton were at the peak of their careers, so a black comedy team-up that lampoons the Barney the dinosaur phenomenon seemed a solid concept on paper. Add Danny DeVito as director and co-star, as well as a 50 million dollar budget — what could possibly go wrong? Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they sing joyous songs for the children and try to understand why Death to Smoochy was such a critical and financial failure.
Director Walter Hill was riding high off the success of The Warriors and 48 Hrs when he was given the green light to make his high budget rock n’ roll fable Streets of Fire. But despite the presence of rising stars Diane Lane and Willem Dafoe and a heavy presence on MTV thanks to Dan Hartman’s hit single “I Can Dream About You”, the film flopped hard with critics and audiences. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they get ready to rumble with this surreal and stylish cinematic street fight.
In 1995 the post apocalyptic genre was in full swing, so an adaptation of a hip, grunge friendly indie comic book property like Tank Girl looked like a good idea. Sadly, the resulting film from Rachel Talalay, built around the strange charisma of star Lori Petty, was a critical and box office cataclysm. Join Sebastian, Chris and Rodney as they fire up the heavy artillery and get down with Ice T as a mutant kangaroo for this bizarro but weirdly entertaining cinematic bomb.
The prospect of grafting an outdated radio serial superhero onto a Seth Rogen comedy by way of surrealist filmmaker Michel Gondry seemed dicey by the most generous metrics, and the resulting effort, 2011’s The Green Hornet, failed to live up to even modest expectations. But is it really the trainwreck its poor box office take and critical reception suggests? Join Sebastian, Jennifer and superfan Matt Anderson as they delve deep into Green Hornet lore and ask the eternal question — do we make you hornety?
Considering the success of 2016’s Suicide Squad, a solo outing focusing on Margot Robbie’s celebrated portrayal of super villainess Harley Quinn seemed a no-brainer for the struggling DCEU. But despite a winning female team both in front and behind the camera, Birds of Prey and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn failed to deliver the box office windfall the character deserved. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they try to have the last laugh with this irreverent and enjoyable superheroine romp.
It’s always a challenge to bring a cult comic book character to the big screen successfully; in the case of 2000 AD’s gruff, helmeted lawgiver Judge Dredd, the attempt was made twice, both in 1995 and 2012. Despite the presences of Sylvester Stallone and Karl Urban in the titular role neither attempt drew in big box office, but at least one take emerged from the scorched earth as something of a cult classic. Join Sebastian and Malcontent Media’s Sean Farina as they try to determine who is the law and dispense harsh justice on Judge Dredd and Dredd.
While no one was expecting Richard Kelly’s 2001 sci fi brain-boiler Donnie Darko to be a tentpole film, it’s meager box office returns were disappointing even for such a low budget genre feature. But the film has garnered a significant legacy by introducing the world to both Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal, and is now revered as a cult classic by lovers of gonzo cinema. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they close the time loop on this delightfully dark and funny lightning in a bottle film.
Excalibur meets Star Wars — in 1983 that elevator pitch was all that was needed to green light the big budget sci fi fantasy epic Krull. But despite a seasoned director at the helm and high production values — as well as then unknown Liam Neeson and Robbie Coltrane in supporting roles — the film landed with a thud at the box office. Join Sebastian, Troy and Richard as they wield the Glaive to conquer the convoluted world-building of Krull!
Double the Will Smith means double the boffo box office, right? Well, when it came to Ang Lee’s 2019 sci fi spy thriller Gemini Man, not so much. Despite Lee’s assured direction and the star power of Big Willy in dual roles, the film failed to generate any action at the box office or with critics. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Viewer Discretion Advised’s VQ as they battle their younger selves to determine why this high concept thriller suffered a financial and critical headshot.
We’re doubling down on trauma this week by discussing two Terminator films in one episode! How can a once blockbuster sci fi franchise that sprang from the mind of James Cameron fail to revive itself twice in a row? Join a sent from the future Sebastian and Malcontent Media’s Sean Farina as they say hasta la vista baby to both 2015’s Terminator Genisys and 2019’s Terminator Dark Fate!
A Men in Black ripoff starring Ryan Reynolds and Jeff Bridges as mismatched afterlife cops — who wouldn’t want that right? Well, it turns out pretty much no one, but that doesn’t mean that Robert Schwentke’s 2013 box office bomb isn’t worth discussing! Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they exhume the nearly forgotten exquisite corpse of this ill-conceived Boston based supernatural action comedy.
Ahoy mateys! The careers of director Renny Harlin and star Geena Davis were as hot as their romance in 1995, so what better way to celebrate their love than to make a mega budget pirate movie? Unfortunately for the couple, the resulting effort was a box office bomb so massive it landed in the Guinness Book of Records, but is it really that much of a shipwreck? Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Richard as they hoist up the old Jolly Roger and set sail for Cutthroat Island!
Attempting to capitalize on Johnny Depp and Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean heat with a fresh take on a classic western IP probably seemed like a good idea back in 2013. Add to that rising star and cannibal fetishist Armie Hammer as a co-lead and what could possibly go wrong kemosabe? Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they climb aboard Gore Verbinski’s 250 million dollar box office trainwreck and peek under the mask of The Lone Ranger.
It took nearly 20 years, but Warner studios finally managed to coax the Wachowskis — well, one of them at least — to resurrect their most viable franchise, the Matrix. But considering the lackluster box office returns of The Matrix Resurrections, the world may not have been ready for Lana Wachowski’s bitter red pill of a movie. Join Sebastian, Chris and Rodney as they reconvene down the rabbit hole for this perplexingly meta rebootquel.
Take one of the most beloved Broadway musicals of all time and give it to the world’s greatest living director, and you’ve got a license to print money, right? Somehow Steven Spielberg’s adaptation of the Stephen Sondheim classic West Side Story stalled at the box office despite garnering stellar reviews — was it a victim of Covid, or has the audience’s appetite for singing and dancing simply faded? Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they get ready to rumble and fall into ill-fated love with this impeccably crafted production.
Wachowskis' month comes to a close with their 2015 space opera Jupiter Ascending. Warner Brothers banked that the Wachowskis’ Cinderella meets Star Wars original IP would be the next big franchise, and with Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis bringing the onscreen sparks, success seemed written in the stars. Yet this sci fi fairytale didn’t have a happy ending and bombed big with both critics and audiences. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they skate the skyways to make sense of this silly but sometimes enjoyable outer space spectacle.
Wachowskis' month continues with an epic discussion of all things Matrix! Expectations could not have been higher for the Matrix sequels following the seismic cultural impact of the first genre-defining film. But the response to Matrix Reloaded was somewhat muted when it dropped in the summer of 2003, so much so that when Matrix Revolutions opened a mere six months later, the reception was downright toxic, effectively killing what could have been an ongoing franchise. How did this sci fi juggernaut get kung fu punched off the rails so dramatically? Join Sebastian, Chris and Rodney as they take the red pill to see how deep the rabbit hole goes by celebrating the dizzying highs and terrifying lows of this reality-bending series.
Wachowskis' month continues at a breakneck pace with our discussion of Speed Racer! Teaming the Wachowskis with a classic anime property seemed a grand trophy proposition back in 2008, and the directing team certainly delivered in terms of daring visuals and inventive editing techniques. But despite winning a cult following in subsequent years, audiences and critics were not ready for this candy colored racing extravaganza when it cruised into theaters. Join Sebastian, Steve and Richard on the starting line as they try to keep their hands on the wheel of this wild and crazy ride.
Tentpole Trauma is celebrating the Wachowskis all month long, starting with perhaps their most audacious film, 2012’s Cloud Atlas. Adapting David Mitchell’s time hopping novel was never going to be an easy sell, but with the help of co-director Tom Tykwer and superstars Tom Hanks and Halle Berry in multiple roles, the Wachowskis felt up to the task. But the film was plagued by bad press due to some controversial race swapping choices and while the finished product was suitably epic, it failed to impress either audiences or critics. Join Sebastian, Troy and Rodney as they traverse time, space and multiple lives to determine if this sprawling effort is a misunderstood masterpiece or a massive misfire.
Sony had been looking to resurrect the Ghostbusters for the big screen for decades, but after many failed attempts, a full reboot finally materialized in 2016. But toxic fans were upset about director Paul Feig’s decision to go with an all female team, and despite an A-list cast featuring Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones the film failed to scare up the box office numbers the studio was hoping for. Join Sebastian, Jen and Steve as they cross streams to determine if these ghostbusting gals deserve to be relegated to the franchise’s afterlife.
Scientology founder L Ron Hubbard’s sci fi epic Battlefield Earth had a light year journey to the big screen, but devoted acolyte John Travolta managed to leverage a big budget adaptation into theaters in the summer of 2000. Unfortunately the critical reaction was more apocalyptic than the film’s setting with Travolta’s dreadlocked alien antagonist eliciting worldwide mockery and director Roger Christian’s Dutch angle-heavy directing making for a muddled, unappealing mess. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and new host Richard as they rummage through the wreckage of a film many have dubbed one of the worst cinematic disasters in this galaxy and beyond.
Handing Academy Award winner Halle Berry a superhero franchise seemed like a purr-fectly sound idea back in 2004, and her inherent sass and feline beauty seemed ideal for the role of Batman's main squeeze Catwoman. But an untested director and some poor story and design choices pointed to a potential cat-tastrophe, and the film arrived to mocking yowls from both critics and fans alike. But does it really deserve to be discarded in the litterbox of movie history? Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they slather on the beauty cream, sharpen their claws and take on one of this century's most notorious big-budget flops.
CAROL ANNE! Steven Spielberg and Tobe Hooper’s Poltergeist helped to reinvent the haunted house genre, spawning an 80s horror franchise that stood apart from the slasher wave. But despite a grave-ly disappointing 1st sequel and an unfortunate narrative that the films were somehow “cursed” due to the deaths of cast members, no one was prepared for how low things would go with director Gary Sherman’s 1988 effort Poltergeist III. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Troy as they put the Halloween season to rest, move the headstones (but not the bodies) and lead themselves into the light by discussing Poltergeist III.
Disney were on a downturn for much of the late 70s and early 80s, but studio executives were hopeful that a lush adaptation of a classic Ray Bradbury novel might turn things around. Sadly, Jack Clayton’s spooky 1983 effort did not deliver the desired results, despite a strong cast that featured Jason Robards and Jonathan Pryce. But is this a carnival worth revisiting? Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they prick their thumbs and continue the Halloween season fun with Something Wicked This Way Comes.
Coming off of the 2007 remake of Halloween, hopes were high that auteur director and rocker Rob Zombie would deliver another pumpkin-smashing hit. But few were keen on the radical re-invention of iconic slasher Michael Myers, the proliferation of white trash hysterics and the addition of bizarre symbolic imagery. That said, could there be an artistic method to this blood-drenched madness? Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Rodney as they get down and dirty in the sleaze, brutality and gonzo pretentiousness of Rob Zombie’s Halloween II.
John Carpenter’s low budget smash Halloween set the pace for early 80s horror, and after a successful sequel audiences were primed for more of lead slasher Michael Myers. So it came as an unwelcome shock when the Myers-less Halloween III Season of the Witch took a different and decidedly bizarre sci fi approach, one roundly rejected by critics and fans. But is this a mean-spirited trick or a misunderstood treat? Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Troy as they kick off the festival of Samhain by carving into this bugnuts cult classic.
Riding the sci fi wave started by Star Wars and Alien, the success of Saturn 3 seemed written in the stars. But despite the presence of 1980’s hottest pinup Farrah Fawcett and screen legend Kirk Douglas, Stanley Donen’s take on space horror crashed and burned with critics and audiences. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and screenwriter Marc Gottlieb as they disassemble this celestial Frankenstein’s monster to see if there are parts worth salvaging.
A fantasy film helmed by Muppets maestro Jim Henson, starring and featuring music by rock sensation David Bowie, produced by Star Wars creator George Lucas, should have been a box office smash. Yet when the cinematic fruit of this collaborative powerhouse debuted in the summer of 1986, the puppet-heavy affair had all the audience appeal of a poison apple. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they get lost in the Labyrinth and ponder the riddle as to why this now beloved filmic fairy tale failed.
Expectations were high for the big budget adaptation of the blockbuster Ubisoft video game, and with Michael Fassbender in the starring role, Assassin’s Creed was poised to kill at the box office. But despite some thrilling visuals audiences and critics did not take to the confounding plot and mythology, and the Creed met with resounding defeat. Join Sebastian, Steve and Rodney as they take the leap of faith to determine what went wrong with this strangely fascinating 2016 misfire.
The Batman film franchise was operating at peak bat-power following director Joel Schumacher’s smash hit Batman Forever, and with new caped crusader George Clooney in the cowl and superstar Arnold Schwarzenegger chillin’ like a villain as Mr. Freeze, Batman & Robin was poised for world domination. But the film’s over-the-top camp proved too much for fans, critics and general audiences, a frosty reception that changed the course of the franchise and the approach to comic book films forever. Join Sebatman, Steve and Jennifer as they thaw out one of cinema’s most notorious disasters to see if there’s anything in this garish Gotham worth saving.
Take director Jon Favreau hot off the Iron Man films, Daniel Craig hot off the Bond films and Harrison Ford hot off 3 decades of superstardom and put them in a sci fi western mash up — how can that lose? Sadly their combined efforts couldn’t rustle up enough money in the summer of 2011 to be profitable…so what went wrong? Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they hit the dusty trail to determine why Cowboys & Aliens flopped.
The prospect of geek idol Edgar Wright tackling an adaptation of Brian Lee O’Malley’s hit indie comic had nerds salivating in the late oughts and hoping for a franchise. But despite strong critical notices and a stacked cast of up-and-comers that included Michael Cera at the peak of his fame, the gonzo video game/anime/indie rock mashup was KO’d at the box office. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Rodney as they take on seven evil exes to determine why Scott Pilgrim vs The World bob-ombed.
Despite the talents of Ryan Gosling, Harrison Ford and visionary director Denis Villeneuve, the long-planned sequel to Ridley Scott’s dystopian classic crashed and burned when it landed at the box office in 2017. Critics lauded the great performances and dazzling visuals, so where did it all go wrong? Join Sebastian, Chris and Troy as they get back to baseline and ponder the perplexing failure of Blade Runner 2049.
Despite its massive cultural footprint and influence over the look of modern blockbuster cinema, Ridley Scott’s sci fi neo-noir epic Blade Runner was not a smash hit when it landed in 1982. The film boasted top notch special effects, jaw-dropping production design and the presence of newly minted superstar Harrison Ford, so why were audiences not initially dazzled? Join more human than human hosts Sebastian, Chris and Troy as they put this now celebrated masterpiece to the empathy test.
1982 was a big year for genre films, and Disney was hoping that Steve Lisberger’s video game fantasy Tron would be a Star Wars sized phenomenon. Sadly the bits did not fall in their favor and despite being a visual feast and a technological trendsetter, the film fell short with sci fi fans and box office receipts. Join Sebastian, Troy and super-fan Steve as they bust out the data discs and fire up the light cycles for this computerized cult classic.
The Jaws franchise was sinking steadily by 1987, yet no one could have predicted how viciously Joseph Sergeant’s Jaws: The Revenge would be received. With Lorraine Gary as the only holdover from the original there was no righting this misguided shark hunt and not even the addition of Michael Caine could save it, but is it really worthless chum? Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Troy as they get personal with this notorious great white flop.
1986 was a wildly eclectic year for genre cinema, but arguably no offering was as a harder sell than John Carpenter’s Big Trouble in Little China. Re-teaming with leading man Kurt Russell and bringing in future Sex and the City cougar Kim Cattrall, Carpenter’s chop-socky supernatural adventure failed to ignite the box office and left audiences baffled before earning its place as a cult classic decades later. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they brace against the three storms and Kung fu fight their way through this delightful cinematic oddity.
Though not a total financial disaster, 1992’s Alien 3 met with a hostile reaction from audiences and earned a toxic reputation that threatened to derail what had proven a sturdy sci fi horror franchise. Fans of James Cameron’s crowd pleasing Aliens hoped for more of the same from Ripley and co, but taken on its own terms is David Fincher’s disowned directorial debut really that bad? Join Sebastian, Chris and Steve as they spit acid at each other over the pros and (space) cons of this much maligned sequel.
There was no hotter celebrity couple in 2003 than Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, so naturally a romantic comedy built around their undeniable chemistry would ignite the passion of cinema goers everywhere, right? As it turned out — no! Martin Brest’s Gigli revolted both ticket buyers and critics at a level of toxicity that threatened to ruin careers — is it really that bad? Yes, it is! But in celebration of the recent romantic reunion of Ben and JLo; Sebastian, Jennifer and Sonic the Hedgehog screenwriter Josh Miller suffered through this monumentally expensive disaster for your amusement. You’re welcome, listeners!
Coming hot off the surprise success of Darkman, director/visionary Sam Raimi chose to parlay his newfound studio cred into reuniting with star Bruce “the Chin” Campbell and completing the Evil Dead trilogy, a prospect that had horror fans ready to swallow their souls. But the sword and sorcery slapstick tribute to Ray Harryhausen he delivered received an initially tepid response from fans, and the box office wasn’t much better. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they pry open the Necronomicon and resurrect the now beloved camp classic Army of Darkness.
A sequel to the blockbuster smash The Exorcist wouldn’t have seemed a devil’s bargain in 1977, and with Richard Burton joining returning players Linda Blair and Max Von Sydow, signs were favorable for another horror hit. But Zardoz director John Boorman’s fever dream of a film was reviled by critics and ticket buyers, resulting in one of the most universally lambasted movies of all times. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Rodney as they attempt to exorcise the demons of Exorcist II: The Heretic.
FLASH! Aaahaaa! After the mega-success of Star Wars, producer Dino De Laurentis hoped to cash in on space opera fever with a big screen adaptation of the comic strip/serial that inspired George Lucas to create a galaxy far far away. But despite wild, colorful sets, sexy stars and a killer rock score by Queen, director Mike Hodges’ campy film failed to reach cosmic heights, either with critics or the box office. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Troy the Merciless as they blast off to save the universe with Flash Gordon.
By the mid 90s Kevin Costner was riding high as both a leading man and director, so the idea that he should headline (and largely ghost direct) a big budget post apocalyptic blockbuster seemed a fail-safe proposition. But after a high profile shoot plagued with problems and cost overruns the film was released to tepid box office receipts and a merciless drubbing from critics who mocked Costner’s hubris and cruelly dubbed the film “Fishtar”, preordaining it as one of the most massive filmic failures of all time. But does it truly deserve this reputation? Join Sebastian, Chris and Troy as they reel in the big one and plumb the murky depths of the legendary Waterworld.
Though universally accepted as a modern classic, Frank Darabont’s adaptation of the Stephen King novella Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption went virtually ignored at the box office when it was released in late 1994. But how could the top rated film on IMDB be guilty of such a crime? Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they revisit The Shawshank Redemption and dig deep into the truth of why it did hard time as a financial failure before finding redemption with audiences.
Coming hot off the success of Halloween and Escape From New York, director/composer John Carpenter was the ideal candidate to remake the sci fi horror classic The Thing. With Kurt Russell in the lead, the film boasted stunning effects work from Rob Bottin and was an absolute master class in suspense and paranoia — so why did the zeitgeist violently reject it during the summer of 1982? Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Troy in the Antarctic as they thaw this beloved creature feature from the ice to biopsy its unfair initial reception from audiences and critics.
Video game adaptations are often a dicey proposition but the high fantasy World of Warcraft games seemed ready-made for blockbuster cinema, and hot genre director Duncan Jones seemed a solid pick to bring it to life. Unfortunately the end result met with critical and box office indifference in the states and put plans for a Lord of the Rings level film franchise on hold — so what went wrong? Join Sebastian, Rodney and Steve as they delve deep — perhaps too deep — into the dense mythology of 2016’s Warcraft so you don’t have to.
Harrison Ford’s reign as a superstar was well underway in 1986, so the idea of re-teaming with the director of their previous hit Witness for a no expense spared adaptation of an acclaimed Paul Theroux novel seemed a solid proposition. But despite exotic locations and a strong cast that featured Helen Mirren and rising star River Phoenix, the noble venture proved a fool’s errand at the box office. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they journey upriver to explore the fascinating financial misfire that is Peter Weir’s The Mosquito Coast.
The early aughts saw action hero Vin Diesel at the height of his fame, so the idea of re-teaming with director David Twohy for a space operatic sequel to their sci fi hit Pitch Black seemed like a license to print money. But despite big budget thrills and heavy doses of high octane Diesel, The Chronicles of Riddick failed to connect with audiences. Join Sebastian, Chris and Steve as they attempt to crack this mythologically dense and perhaps overly ambitious effort.
Coming off the surprise hit Chronicle, director Josh Trank seemed a suitable fit to deliver a fresh, youthful take on Marvel’s first family after some lackluster big screen attempts. But stories of on-set strife plagued the production, and despite a strong cast featuring Miles Teller and Michael B. Jordan, the disjointed film that landed in theaters was far from fantastic and failed to flame on at the box office. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and the film’s storyboard artist Troy, as they dig through the rubble of 2015’s disastrous Fantastic Four.
A live action adaptation of the seminal 90s anime seemed like a promising proposition for a new big budget sci fi franchise. But when a white washing controversy erupted over the casting of Scarlet Johansson in the lead, no amount of impressive visuals could save it from box office failure. So was it deserved? Join Sebastian, Chris and Rodney as they deep dive into the heart of Rupert Sanders’ 2017 adaptation of Ghost in the Shell.
Fans of John Carpenter's cult hit Escape from New York were clamoring for more of its iconic antihero Snake Plissken, but despite the creative team and star Kurt Russell returning for another round, the 1996 sequel met with poor box office receipts and violent rejection from audiences. The campy approach and reliance on sub-par visual effects certainly didn't help matters, but is the movie really that post-apocalyptically bad? Join Jennifer and Sebastian as they hang 10 with Snake and make another attempt at Escape from L.A.
1986 was a big year for genre movies, and arguably the biggest — solely in terms of its central character — was the sequel to Dino De Laurentis’ remake of King Kong. Despite the presence of Terminator star Linda Hamilton this ape extravaganza went almost completely ignored at the box office and put the Kong franchise on ice for nearly 20 years. Join Sebastian, Jen and Troy as they attempt to kickstart the heart of the colossally absurd camp disaster that is King Kong Lives.
Following the success of 300 and Clash of the Titans studios were clamoring for mythological stories to turn into big budget tentpoles, so it stands to reason that the Gods of Egypt would vie for the box office throne. With Gerard Butler on board and visionary director Alex Proyas tapped to direct, things appeared promising for this 2016 fantasy spectacular, but instead of claiming fire from the heavens it crashed and burned with audiences and critics alike. Join Sebastian, Chris and new guest host Steve Tze as they desecrate the tombs of the Pharaohs and find golden treasure in this weird and wondrous failure.
Wait...Fight Club wasn't a hit? It's true, the re-teaming of director David Fincher and superstar Brad Pitt seemed like a no brainer back in 1999, and while the film has gone on to have a huge cultural impact, the initial box office receipts for the black comedy/thriller were no indication of its future meme generating status. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they break the first rule and pummel the beautiful face of this highly influential and still relevant cult classic.
The DCEU was poised to make their play for Avengers style glory with Zack Snyder's follow-up to the divisive Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, but after tragedy struck the director was forced to leave the completion of the project to then-celebrated geek god Joss Whedon. The end result was an uneven Frankenstein of a film that failed to crack 500 million, a disaster for a mega-budget superhero team up that featured many of the world's most popular superheroes. With Snyder's original vision now streaming, it seemed only fitting that Sebastian, Jennifer and guests Ken and Chrystal Oyegun busted out the motherboxes and resurrected the 2017 version of Justice League.
Horror remakes were all the rage at the turn of the previous decade, as were vampires, so an updated version of the 1985 hit Fright Night was all but inevitable. Armed with a strong cast that featured Anton Yelchin, Toni Collette, David Tennant and sexy vamp Colin Farrell, Craig Gillespie's 2011 version had all the markings of a winner, so why did it fail to find blood at the box office? Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Rodney as they drive a stake through the heart of this unfairly forgotten horror comedy.
George Lucas adapting a Marvel comics property should be a license to print money, right? Directed by Lucas collaborator Willard Huyck, the 1986 adaptation of Steve Gerber's beloved comics character was given a huge budget that would feature top shelf animatronics and special effects, but audiences found it off-putting and ridiculous enough to flock far away. Still, is there enjoyment to be found in this lame duck? Find out when Sebastian, Jennifer and Sonic the Hedgehog screenwriter Josh Miller quack themselves up over the notorious cinematic fowl-up Howard the Duck.
In a post-Matrix Hollywood, the prospect of adapting Peter Chung's cult anime hit seemed like the opportunity to kick-start another FX heavy sci fi franchise. Get Girlfight director Karyn Kusama to direct combined with white-hot star Charlize Theron in the action heroine lead...how could it fail? That's the mind-bending conundrum Chris, Rodney and Sebastian wrestle with as they dissect the strange cinematic concoction that is the 2005 adaptation of Aeon Flux.
In honor of Black History Month we're covering the obvious choice...Men in Black: International! Directed by filmmaker F. Gary Gray this continuation of the Will Smith fronted franchise was sure to be a smash, except it didn't star Will Smith. But can its box office failure be blamed on charming replacements Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson? Join Jennifer and Sebastian as they don the black suits and try to de-neuralize this all-but forgotten 2019 flop.
Hold on a second... is this really fair? Christopher Nolan's mega-budget time travel spy thriller came out at the height of the pandemic, can its relative box office failure accurately be blamed on the film? Well no, but it was certainly a misguided effort to save cinemas and many were baffled by the muddy sound mix... look, we just wanted to talk Tenet, OK? Join Sebastian, Troy and Chris as they work backwards in time to make sense of 2020's most confounding blockbuster artifact.
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M. Night Shyamalan was on a four blockbuster winning streak in 2006 when he left the nurturing bosom of Disney to make his next film, a fairy tale epic starring Paul Giamatti and Bryce Dallas Howard. Surely the movie would be a critical and financial hit and prove the naysayers wrong... but in a shocking twist worthy of his own filmography it was neither. Join Rodney, Jennifer and Sebastian as they seek to comprehend the bedtime story box office disaster that is Lady in the Water. https://www.patreon.com/tentpoletrauma https://www.facebook.com/tentpoletrauma https://www.instagram.com/tentpoletrauma https://twitter.com/tentpoletrauma tentpoletrauma@gmail.com
Coming off the 90s you'd be hard-pressed to find a cooler pair of directors than Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino, and when they decided to bring their love of Grindhouse cinema to the mainstream in 2007 with a joint effort that also featured hot filmmakers Eli Roth, Edgar Wright and Rob Zombie, film geeks everywhere rejoiced. Sadly, mainstream audiences did not, and the film was the first major flop on both directors' resumes. But did it deserve to be? That's what Jennifer and Sebastian aim to find out when they take a deep-dive detour into the double-feature box office disappointment Grindhouse.
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Take the director of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and the writer of Alien, and you've got yourself an 80s sci fi horror hit, right? Well, not so much. Tobe Hooper's 1985 schlockfest Lifeforce delivered in terms of gratuitous nudity and gonzo spectacle, but in terms of box office and critical reception it was an apocalyptic disaster. Join Sebastian, Chris and Troy as they try to unravel the horny insanity of this baffling yet wildly entertaining misfire.
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Teaming Girlfight director Karyn Kusama with Oscar winning screenwriter Diablo Cody for a female-driven horror film seemed a tantalizing prospect in 2009; add to that the presence of then white-hot sex symbol Megan Fox to the mix and Jennifer's Body should have been a sure-fire winner. Sadly the film fizzled at the box office and fan reaction was tepid – did this horror comedy deserve better, or was it too clever for its own good? Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Rodney as they try to see the forest Through the Trees in regards to this misunderstood and perhaps misjudged late aughts offering.
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20 years after dazzling audiences with The Fifth Element, auteur Luc Besson returned to epic sci fi to adapt the beloved French comic Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets. The trailers promised a dazzling, effects-heavy extravaganza that spared no expense and featured hot up-and-comers Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevigne, so how did it crash so resoundingly to earth with both critics and moviegoers? Join Chris, Sebastian and special guest Witney Seibold as they traverse a thousand planets to ascertain why this gorgeous, inventive and tragically flawed film flopped.
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A Stephen King adaptation helmed by Hollywood legend Lawrence Kasdan with a cast that features Morgan Freeman, Thomas Jane, Timothy Olyphant, Jason Lee and Damian Lewis would seem a solid recipe for success, right? This 2003 sci fi/horror film proves that even a stable of A-list talent and gobs of studio money can still result in a cinematic trainwreck and a box office flop – but is it entertaining? That's just one of many questions Josh, Jennifer and Sebastian ask themselves as they attempt to unravel the magnificent mess that is Dreamcatcher.
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Trapped in development hell for close to 100 years, Edgar Rice Burroughs' pulp science fiction superhero John Carter of Mars finally got his big shot to become a blockbuster film franchise in 2012 with Pixar director Andrew Stanton's highly anticipated adaptation. But despite being a clear influence of cultural touchstones like Star Wars, Superman and Avatar, the only honor bestowed upon John Carter was the infamy awarded to the biggest bombs in film history. Join Chris, Rodney and Sebastian on a trip to Barsoom (don't call it Mars) where they will attempt to excavate the remains of this legendary box office failure.
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Following up one of the greatest horror tales of all time was always going to be a dicey proposition, but after Stephen King penned his own long awaited sequel to The Shining novel, it was inevitable some filmmaker would be tasked with doing the same for Kubrick’s groundbreaking version. Hot horror director Mike Flanagan was the man for the job — so why did so few fans flock back to the Overlook in November of 2019? Join Jen, Troy and Sebastian as they take on the True Knot and shine the ghosts of box office failure with Doctor Sleep.
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Despite years of dormancy, a hand-off to Disney and troubled productions, the Star Wars brand wielded unlimited power at the box office — at least until the lackluster performance of 2018’s ill-fated Han Solo prequel. So what happened to this once teflon franchise? Join Troy, Chris and Sebastian as they delve into the dark side to get to the bottom of the disastrous financial flop that is Solo: A Star Wars Story.
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The Platinum Dunes 2010 remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street boasted a new Freddy Krueger in Jackie Earle Haley, a big budget and top shelf visual effects...so why did it seemingly kill the franchise deader than a dozing teen? Dream a little dream with Sebastian, Jen and Rodney as we get to the bottom of this blood soaked snoozer just in time for Halloween!
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Hoping to bring the Universal monsters back in a big way, Joe Johnston’s big budget Wolfman remake featured a top shelf writer, a strong cast and high production values. So what went wrong? That’s the question Sebastian, Chris and Jennifer ask themselves under the light of the full moon as they delve into 2010’s The Wolfman.
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Bringing Frank Herbert’s seminal sci fi masterpiece to big screens for the first time was a task as epic as the film itself, one fraught with perils not even brilliant cinematic minds could overcome. In this, the inaugural episode of Tentpole Trauma, hosts Sebastian, Chris and Troy parse over the dizzying highs and terrifying lows of David Lynch’s 1984 box office bomb, Dune. https://www.patreon.com/tentpoletrauma https://www.facebook.com/tentpoletrauma https://www.instagram.com/tentpoletrauma https://twitter.com/tentpoletrauma tentpoletrauma@gmail.com