As Told by Kole: Recent Episodes
Na'Kole Watson
Hey, y'all!!! I hope all is well! Today's episode is all about not letting people punk you and make you feel unworthy because you have a mental health challenge. We ain't even going out like that! Enjoy today's episode, and be sure to sign up for class! http://nakolewatson.com/masterclass
Hey y'all hey!!! Today's episode is full of transparency, a semi-sermon and all of that! It's all about how sometimes we fear being great because of the responsibility that comes along with it as well as the pain inflicted by others who were to us what we are now called to be to others. I hope you enjoy it and I hope it teaches you something! When you're done listening, be sure to hop on over to http://nakolewatson.com/masterclass to register for "I Love God, but I HATE my Life" that happens on Thursday, May 28, 2020! Much love! - Na'Kole
Hey y'all hey!!! It has been soooooo long since I have been on the podcast scene! Way too long! I'm back tho, with another season full of awesome INspiration and empowerment! I'm so excited about that!
Today's episode is about undiagnosed mental health issues. I give y'all my theory about why so many people go undiagnosed. Be sure to share this episode with someone who may need it! Also, be sure to visit http://nakolewatson.com to connect with me and get even more good stuff! Be lifted!
Hey everybody! I did a teaching last night on Facebook Live and I talked about how important the two words "I AM" are. Everyone was so blessed by it that I decided to turn it into a podcast episode! Enjoy!
XOXO,
Na'Kole
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Hey, y'all! I'm back on!
Today's episode is somewhat of a "bridge"... I'm working on new branding, content and all kinds of stuff for you all... so come back tomorrow for the update episode!
XOXO,
Na'Kole
P.S. - Be sure to join my online community by leaving your name and email address!
I would LOVE for you to join my online family! [convertkit form=719741]
LISTEN!!! It's Rodney's BIRTHDAY!!!! What a better way to celebrate him than to air the awesome interview it did with him! Enjoy his humor, wisdom and insight - and be sure to wish him a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Instagram: _RodneyPowell
Twitter: Rods_Remarks
Facebook: Rodney Powell
Hey there!!! Today's episode is all about empowering the black man. I'm so so so excited to be bringing you this power-packed interview with my buddy Khas Dock!
I'm just gonna drop his contact information and be on my way. Have an epic day! Show love to yourself and others. Be great! I speak life to you and to everyone and everything connected to you!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
Khas A. Dock • Grace Agent/Author/Ghostwriter/Blogger/Speaker
Twitter, Instagram & Snapchat: @KhasDock
Facebook: Khas Dock
FAM!!! Long time, no talk. I'm telling y'all... The fight I've had to go through to get these podcasts to you has been UNREAL! However, that just lets me know that I'm on track. I'll keep fighting as long as it means that we keep winning!
Today, let's finish up our interview with Mr. Marques Harrington! This interview was soooooo dope, and Marques dropped A LOT of amazing knowledge and insight! I enjoyed interviewing him not just because he's one of my best friends, but because he is highly intelligent and super dope!
Be sure to let me know how you feel about the content shared today. I'd love to hear from you! You may comment on the podcast or on this blog, or ANYWHERE on social media using the hashtag #AsToldByKole! I look forward to reading your comments!
Aye! Don't just take this information for yourself. Encourage, uplift and inspire a black man by sharing this podcast with them! There are many more to come, so be sure to check back tomorrow!
If you want to connect with Marques, you can visit him on Facebook: Marques Harrington or follow him on Twitter @IndelibleMarq - be sure to tell him you heard the podcast!
Have an amazing day today! Show love to yourself and others. Be great! I love and appreciate you!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
Hey family! Long time no podcast!
I have been revamping and reworking things, AND THEN I had some technical difficulties... but I AM BACK!
As you know, this month, I'm gonna bring you awesome interviews with amazing African-American men. Why? Cuz why not? Today's interview is with the awesome and amazing Marques Harrington, who is a teacher with Pitt County Schools and a Youth Pastor serving a Faith Church, Greenville!
I will post my takeaways from this interview after it has fully aired, but this was a great episode! Enjoy, share, and feel free to comment!
XOXO,
Na'Kole
You know how it is. You go to bed at night determined to be productive the next day. You get up and get ready for a killer day of productivity and results, and little by little, more and more things come to take your focus. It happens more often than not, right? Yeah. I know all about it. ALL ABOUT IT. My focus has been completely gone for almost two weeks. COMPLETELY GONE.
Here’s the thing, though: Bills are still gonna come. People still need to be ministered to. The job is still gonna want you there. Nothing we are responsible for cares about these distractions. So what do we do?
We guard our focus. This is something I’m learning. Right now, as I’m planning this podcast, I have a whole entire headache from consciously working to block out all of the distractions that are coming at me. But, headache and all, I am getting this podcast done, and I’m not gonna stop until it’s 100% complete.
Your focus is your syperpower. It is amazing what we can get done when we are focused. Think about how it is when you get “in a zone” - whether it’s cleaning up, studying, painting, writing or whatever it is. Isn’t it an amazing feeling? It’s like nothing can stop you. And guess what? That’s correct. NOTHING can stop you when your focus is on point.
This week, I am challenging myself to remain focused. I’ll still have downtime, I’ll still watch YouTube videos and eat massive amounts of snacks… well, moderate amount of snacks… lol… BUT… I will remain laser focused this week. That’s my personal affirmation and promise to myself.
Now it wouldn’t be As Told by Kole if I didn’t back this up with scripture, so let’s see what the good ole Bible has to say about these things.
Proverbs 4:25-27 (Amplified Bible, Classic Version) - “ Let your eyes look right on [with fixed purpose], and let your gaze be straight before you. 26 Consider well the path of your feet, and let all your ways be established and ordered aright. 27 Turn not aside to the right hand or to the left; remove your foot from evil.”
Philippians 4:13 (New Living Translation) - “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”
Ecclesiastes 9:10 (New King James Version) - “ Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going.”
So there is is! Guard your focus. Do your work! I pray that God will empower you to fiercely protect your focus this week!
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
This is gonna be a short and sweet episode. I know that people are panicking and upset about what is going on with the government. I don’t really know but a small portion of what’s going on, because I don’t watch television and I don’t allow myself to be emotionally manipulated by the media. But I do know that the government has shut down, and I know that people are really stressed about it.
Let me tell you something. There are no more saviors. Every savior that was supposed to come has already come. There’s nothing else to be done by anyone but you. This is YOUR life. Your financial security is YOUR responsibility. Your health and wealth are YOUR responsibility. God has left a whole entire roadmap and guidebook that shows and tells us exactly what to do and how to live. Not only that, but we all have access to the Spirit of God which pours out endless wisdom and knowledge daily.
Do not give anyone control over your future. Respect those in authority. Obey the laws of the land. Do all of that, but stop looking for people to save you. You have dominion here. This is YOUR world. If you want your life to change, change it. The power is in YOUR hands. The responsibility lies with YOU. And guess what? You are more than able to do everything that needs to be done to secure your future. You’re MORE than able. You just have to do it. God will be with you as you make the changes you need to make. Just do it. Today. Start fixing your credit. Start changing your diet. Do whatever you need to do, and you will start to see the hand of God assisting you as you go. I promise you that! Let’s go!
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
I’m not gonna lie to y’all. Aunt Mary’s death did a number on me… but not for the reasons you may think. For starters, her death did not come as a surprise at all, and I had actually told one of my friends that I thought she was going to die on my grandma’s birthday. However, as you know, no matter how much you know or how prepared you are, you’re still not ever fully ready.
What bothered me the most about losing my Aunt Mary was that she was the last piece of my grandma I had left. My grandma was the definition of family to me. She showed me what it meant to love someone who is not your blood as if they were your blood. And when Aunt Mary died, it was like that element of my life (being accepted as blood even though I’m not blood) died too.
It was tough. But you know what I did? I decided to move on. That day. Now granted, I understand the grief process and all of that. I totally do. But I elected to just be okay and move on. I have accepted the fact that I may not ever meet anyone who loves me the way my grandma and Aunt Mary did - people who aren’t my blood but treat me like they are. And I have to be okay with that. I have to move on.
Why do I have to move on so quickly? Because there are people depending on me to arrive on schedule. If I focus on what I no longer have, I will not arrive on schedule. I have books to write. I have podcasts and shows to record. I have A LOT to do. I don’t have time to sit around in mourning. It’s not going to change anything.
Now let me clarify a few things. You SHOULD grieve. And you SHOULD take the time to go all the way through the grief process. However, there will be times in your life when you will realize that your best course of action is just to cut your losses and move on - and when you feel THAT WAY, that’s exactly what you should do.
Aunt Mary is okay. It is well with her soul, so it is well with mine. Her death marked the end of an era for me, but I refuse to mourn the era that ended. Instead, I will celebrate the era that has arrived. All is well.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
I am a whole lot of things. Too many things at times. But if there is one thing I’m NOT, it’s fake. I’m not fake by a longshot. And sometimes, this works against me… but I’m not changing it. If I don’t rock with you, I don’t rock with you. This doesn’t change when we get in front of people. It doesn’t change at church. It doesn’t change when we are with mutual friends. It just doesn’t.
I made up my mind that in 2018, I’m not gonna tolerate fake people. You’re either gonna be who you really are, or you won’t be in my space. I’d rather have 10 real enemies than one fake friend. Why? Because at least I know where my enemies stand.
There comes a point in life when you have to protect yourself. You have to guard your heart and mind. You have to protect your peace and sanity. You can’t keep people around you just because they’re pretending to be your friend. It’s true that no weapon formed against you will prosper. It’s also true that being connected to the wrong people can and will cause unnecessary warfare and stress.
We will convince ourselves that we don’t see what we KNOW we really do see. We’ll convince ourselves that people are really “good at heart” and that they are just “acting out” or “going through something”. But at the end of the day, you have to make up in your mind that you are not going to allow fake people into your inner circle… PERIOD.
Wanna know how I deal with fake people? I don’t. I love them, I wish them the absolute best… but I REFUSE to deal with them. I don’t eat fake food. I don’t drink fake water. I don’t inhale fake air. I’m not gonna surround myself with fake people. I encourage you to evaluate your circle and make the necessary adjustments quickly. Your next move will thank you for it!
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
If you’re my Facebook friend, you know all about my Aunt Mary. She means soooo so so so much to me. I absolutely LOVE her life.
She became ill with pneumonia last month, and although I was told that she would recover, somehow I knew that she wouldn’t, so I made it my business to go and see her. When I got there, I talked to her and she squeezed my hand. I told her things about how life was and where she was going and how beautiful everything would be… and by the time I got ready to leave, it was like she was already gone. That was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. With my grandma, it wasn’t as bad because she was fully alert and talking and eating the last time I saw her.
Aunt Mary got better… but I didn’t go back and see her because I didn’t want to say goodbye again. As a matter of fact, I told one of my friends that I thought she was going to die on my grandma’s birthday… and she did. My Aunt Mary.
I remember when my grandma died and I had to wait at the military cemetery for her body to arrive. I called my Aunt Mary and she talked to me the entire time I waited. After that, I called her once or twice every week just so that I could hear stories about my grandma. I LOVED going to see her because she reminded me of my grandma. Same voice, same facial expressions, same everything. We became so much closer over these last few years, and she really helped me through my grieving process.
Now that she’s gone, I can’t really say that I’m overly sad. She is totally fine now. I mean, I was sad when I got the news. It was so strange: I was in bed all day and I just couldn’t get it together. When I got up and started writing in my journal, I got the text and it all made sense. My Aunt Mary.
Listen. Don’t throw your elderly loved ones away. Don’t throw the elders in your community or tribe away. Love them. Nurture them. Protect them. And when the time comes for them to transition, help them. Help them to understand that it’s okay. Tell them not to be afraid. Don’t make them feel guilty for leaving. Remember that although it may not feel like it at the time, to die is gain. It really is.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
If you know me, you know how much my grandma means to me. My grandma was and is EVERYTHING to me. She raised me, she taught me so much of what I know, and she prepared me to be the awesome person I AM today. And that’s not bragging or being arrogant… I hope you think you’re awesome because I definitely think I’m awesome. I think you’re awesome too.
Back to my grandma… Today is her birthday. So many cool people were born on this day: Michelle Obama, Muhammad Ali, Betty White, Jim Carrey, Steve Harvey, Dwayne Wade, Benjamin Franklin, James Earl Jones, Maury Povich, Eartha Kitt, the list goes on. January 17th will always be a special day for me. Let me tell y’all a few amazing facts about my grandma.
She was a teacher during the time that schools integrated. She talked to me about how they would have to stay in houses out of town for their protection. She taught the children of the Klan. Imagine that. She was very well-educated. She obtained her Master’s degree in 1948. That’s amazing. She taught school for thirty-seven years. She was one of the best teachers in Johnston County. She took me to Mexico, the Grand Cayman Islands and Jamaica when I was nine years old because she wanted me to see that there was more to the world than what I saw every day. She was the first black person in our town to get indoor plumbing. That’s wild. She always taught me that White Suremacy only worked if you believed that White people were supreme. Therefore, I never bought into White Supremacy, because no one is more supeme than I AM. She instilled values in me that have kept me from being a victim of a lot of things my peers have faced. She ALWAYS had my back, and she taught me that no one else will have my back the way I WILL. So I always bet on Kole. Always. No matter what.
And that’s it. I just wanted to share a few things about my lady. May God continue to rest her precious soul.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
I’m gonna tell y’all one of my FAVORITE Bible stories. It’s all about my man King David. You can find it in I Samuel 30. As a matter of fact, I’m just gonna read it to you. 1 Samuel 30 Amplified Bible (AMP)
David’s Victory over the Amalekites 30 Now it happened when David and his men came [home] to Ziklag on the third day, [they found] that the Amalekites had made a raid on the Negev (the South country) and on Ziklag, and had overthrown Ziklag and burned it with fire; 2 and they had taken captive the women [and all] who were there, both small and great. They killed no one, but carried them off [to be used as slaves] and went on their way. 3 When David and his men came to the town, it was burned, and their wives and their sons and their daughters had been taken captive. 4 Then David and the people who were with him raised their voices and wept until they were too exhausted to weep [any longer]. 5 Now David’s two wives had been captured, Ahinoam the Jezreelitess and Abigail the widow of Nabal the Carmelite. 6 Further, David was greatly distressed because the people spoke of stoning him, for all of them were embittered, each man for his sons and daughters. But David felt strengthened and encouraged in the Lord his God.
7 David said to Abiathar the priest, Ahimelech’s son, “Please bring me the ephod.” So Abiathar brought him the ephod. 8 David inquired of the Lord, saying, “Shall I pursue this band [of raiders]? Will I overtake them?” And He answered him, “Pursue, for you will certainly overtake them, and you will certainly rescue [the captives].” 9 So David went, he and the six hundred men who were with him, and came to the brook Besor; there those [who could not continue] remained behind. 10 But David pursued [the Amalekites], he and four hundred men, for two hundred who were too exhausted to cross the brook Besor stayed behind.
11 They found an Egyptian [who had collapsed] in the field and brought him to David, and gave him bread and he ate, and they gave him water to drink, 12 and they gave him a piece of a fig cake and two clusters of raisins; and when he had eaten, his energy returned, for he had not eaten bread or had any water to drink for three days and three nights. 13 David said to him, “To whom do you belong, and where are you from?” He said, “I am a young man from Egypt, a servant of an Amalekite; and my master abandoned me [as useless] when I fell sick three days ago. 14 We made a raid on the Negev of the Cherethites, and on that which belongs to Judah, and on the Negev of Caleb, and we burned Ziklag with fire.” 15 Then David said to him, “Will you take me down to this band [of raiders]?” And he said, “Swear to me by God that you will not kill me or turn me over to the hand of my master, and I will bring you down to this band.”
16 When he brought David down, the Amalekites had disbanded and spread over all the land, eating and drinking and dancing because of all the great spoil they had taken from the land of the Philistines and from the land of Judah. 17 Then David [and his men] struck them down [in battle] from twilight until the evening of the next day; and not a man of them escaped, except four hundred young men who rode camels and fled. 18 So David recovered all that the Amalekites had taken, and rescued his two wives. 19 Nothing of theirs was missing whether small or great, sons or daughters, spoil or anything that had been taken; David recovered it all. 20 So David captured all the flocks and herds [which the enemy had], and [the people] drove those animals before him and said, “This is David’s spoil.” How dope is that? Your stuff gets taken, your people turn against you… You ask God if you should go get your stuff, and God says, “You will CERTAINLY overtake them.” And then, on your way there, you meet one of the people who burned Ziklag and he leads you right to what you lost??? You cannot tell me that God doesn’t look out.
Listen. You absolutely positively can and will recover ...
Today I’m going to be discussing a very sensitive topic. If you’re triggered by suicide or murder, now is a good time for you to hop off and catch me tomorrow. Otherwise, let’s go.
I am going to spend the next few moments talking about Christina Treadway. Christina was thirty-four years old. She had two kids: a seven-year-old son and a three-year-old daughter. For reasons that remain unknown, Christina stabbed her two babies, left them at home to die, and jumped off a interstate bridge, killing herself.
If you have seen this story on Facebook, I’m sure you’ve seen the videos of Christina singing “I Will Always Love You to her daughter” or the videos of her daughter singing a song she wrote to her, and her son singing a cover of “All of Me”. These kids were absolutely beautiful. So was Christina. All three of them had such amazing voices.
There are a lot of things being said. People are calling Christina a monster. People are saying that using mental illness as an “excuse” for what she did isn’t right. I’m not here to speculate about any of that. I just want to bring this to your attention.
There are things that will happen in life that will cause you to think/feel/believe that things will never get better. There are things that will happen that will cause you to think/feel/believe that there is no way out. But listen to me. In those times, I need you to remember these three things.
Number One: NOTHING… absolutely NOTHING can work in your life unless it works for your good. Absolutely nothing. It may seem bad. It may feel bad. It may look bad. But I promise you. If it’s working in your life, it’s working for your good. Romans 8:28 confirms this… and so does Genesis 50:20. Read them.
Number Two: YOU CANNOT CONFIDE IN EVERYBODY, but you DO need to confide in SOMEbody. You absolutely need to have someone in your life who you can confide in. Even if it’s a crisis counselor. That brings me to the next point.
Number Three: Help is always available to you. I do not encourage people to go to the church about their mental issues, because honestly, sometimes the church stigmatizes mental issues way more than the world does. However, what I DO encourage is that you seek help from a qualified mental health professional. You can call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255). You can even chat with them. Just Google “Suicide Prevention Lifeline”, click on their website, and if you scroll down to the bottom, you’ll see a place to chat with a counselor.
My heart grieves for those babies. I can’t imagine their pain in the last moments of their precious lives. I can’t imagine Christina’s pain either. It’s just so much to take in. I just pray that their souls find rest.
Don’t ever take matters into your own hands. Whatever it is… Whoever it is… Seek help. Even if it’s not you - you can call the lifeline for someone else. And if you don’t want to call the lifeline, you can always call me at #NotOnMyWatch™. The number is 919-295-2172.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
Do you remember when you had to write papers in school? What is one of the first things your teacher went over with you? Plagiarism. Right? Stealing others’ words and using them as your own. It wasn't right to do when we were in school. As a matter of fact, I remember students getting expelled from college for plagiarizing. I’m sure a lot of you can attest to the fact that it was a huge deal to even be suspected of using someone else’s work as your own.
So… Having said that, let me tell y’all about what has been going on in my life. As you may know, I send out text messages every morning. Not only that, but I podcast, I write on Facebook, and I share meaningful content in conversation with friends.
Well. Here lately, I’ve noticed that my friends and social media buddies think it’s perfectly okay to take my words, thoughts and ideas (which are all MY intellectual property, by the way) and use them as their own. I mean, these people will take my morning text message, add a word or two to it, and then post it on Facebook as if it was a revelation God gave them. It blows my mind!
I will have a conversation with a friend, give them a few nuggets, and they will take my words and post them like they came up with them. Like… and they KNOW I’m gonna see it! It’s crazy.
Don’t get me wrong: It is perfectly okay to share information. It is perfectly okay to quote someone. But in 2018, can we at least give people credit for the information and content we are receiving from them? Can we not just take others’ quotes and use them for ourselves, deceptively leading others to believe that they are our words? That is not acceptable at all.
I have made up my mind this year that any individual who is caught using my intellectual property without proper credit, permission or compensation will be sued. It’s one thing if you don’t know… like if you come up with something but you don’t check to see if someone else already came up with it… but it’s something altogether different to take your FRIEND’s words and use them as your own. Fam… Stop stealing. Please and thanks.
People. Value your words. Value your thoughts. Protect yourself. Protect your stuff. It may seem minor to you, but your idea could be a gold mine. Don’t be out here dripping sauce everywhere. Protect your intellectual property. When you see someone jacking you for your stuff, call them out on it. You don’t have to be rude, but you have the right and responsibility to let them know that you’re aware of what they are doing, and you also have the right to ask them to either properly credit you or remove the stolen content. That’s real. The big brands do it all the time. Just because your name isn’t that big yet doesn’t mean your words don’t have value. Govern yourself accordingly. Your future will thank you for it!
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
Life is not always easy, fam. It’s not. Sometimes, normal day-to-day activities can seem like too much for you to bear. Trust me, I have been there too many times - and I don’t mean way back in the past, either. I’ve had days like that just this year.
I’m gonna give you two words that are gonna help you when you have days like that. Push through. It may sound cliche, but it’s what you have to do. You have to use whatever strength you have and push through.
I’m gonna give you three things that I do when I feel like I just can’t make it through the day.
Number One: Unplug. Literally unplug. Turn off your phone (or put in on “do not disturb”), turn off your other electronics - even take a nap if you can. Take a few minutes away from life. Don’t lay around and sleep the day away if you can help it, but definitely take some time to unplug and rest. As Anne Lamott stated, “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”
Number Two: Think about the other side of “through”. There is something greater coming after whatever it is you’re facing in your rough moments. Remember that NOTHING can work in your life unless it works for your good. Take a moment and think about your goals. Think about what you’re working towards. Allow yourself to feel the coming joy of meeting those goals and hitting those targets. Use your imagination and let that fuel your fire to move forward.
Number Three: Pull on the strength of God. Listen. You’ll never really know how strong God is until you’re weak and need His strength. That’s why the Bible says that His strength is made perfect in our weakness (II Corinthians 12:9). Find a few scriptures about the strength of God and recite them to yourself. You don’t have to have all the strength. God has plenty.
Do all three of these things, and you will discover how much easier it becomes to make up your mind to push through. The actual pushing through may still be hard, but hard things become a lot easier with a made up mind.
I hope this helps! Be sure to save this podcast for a rainy day.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
I hope you guys are having an amazing morning. It’s a rainy day here in North Carolina, but that sleep I got was amazing because of it! No matter what the situation may be, there’s always some good in it somewhere.
So let me tell y’all a quick story about me. I don’t watch television. If you know me, you know that. Well the other day I went out to eat at Moe & D’s in Rocky Mount (a very awesome black-owned restaurant, might I add and plug), and I looked up at the tv screen and discovered that there was a lot of flooding in California due to mudslides. Immediately, my heart and prayers went out to everyone affected by such a disastrous situation.
Last night, I was wrapping up some work, and I went on one of our local news sites to do some research. When I got there, I saw an article headlined, “Rescuers 'searching for a miracle' in California mudslides” I can’t begin to tell you how that sent chills all over me. Searching for a miracle. Actively looking for it. Relentlessly pursuing it. Not sitting around and waiting to see if any bodies float up. Not standing on rooftops praying all day. SEARCHING for a MIRACLE.
That one headline shifted my mind. We are so passive sometimes. There is an awesome couple that is having a word and worship crusade tonight (shoutout to Jeremy and Chaurita Dawson-Herring). Yesterday, I posted their flyer on my Instagram and I captioned it, “I’m looking for a miracle”. But am I really? Am I actively looking for something miraculous to happen in my life, or am I just sitting back hoping something good happens in my life? There is most definitely a difference.
As I read the new article, I saw that the situation was bleak. The chances of survival were becoming slimmer and slimmer. However, none of that stopped rescue workers from searching for a miracle - and nothing in your life should stop you. NOTHING.
Turn over every stone. Knock on every door. Go down every street. Don’t stop until you obtain what you know is rightfully yours. It’s out there. I promise.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
Fam!!! I have some HUGE NEWS for February! If you follow me on social media, you already know… but if not, here it is!
During the month of February, I will be doing a podcast series entitled, “I Believe in the Black Man”. I’m going to interview twenty-eight African-American men who are making a difference in their communities.
Let me just give you a quick rundown:
Interviews are being conducted from now until January 27, 2018. The podcast series will air the entire month of February 2018. All that is required is that you be an African-American male who is making a positive impact within your community. Upon booking your interview, you will receive link to complete the interview questions. Please submit your answers as soon as possible so that we will both be prepared for the interview. You will also receive a podcast guest agreement which will go over how your interview will be used and the exposure you will receive. Please be sure to sign the agreement (or respond with questions) before the interview. You will receive a link to a Zoom virtual conference call through which the interview will be conducted. I will not be on video, but if you desire to be on video, you can, and the video portion of the interview will be edited and posted on my website. If you have any questions, please email me at nakole@nakolewatson.com BEFORE booking your interview.
It’s gonna be LIT!!! If you know anyone who would be a good fit, be sure to send them my way! http://NaKoleWatson.com/feb
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
I’m gonna set somebody free today. Are you ready? You don’t always have to explain your “no”. Disclaimer. I’m not telling you to disobey your parents. I’m not telling you to be insubordinate to anyone who is in a position of authority. So don’t be like “Well NO, and Na’Kole said I don’t have to explain anything to you.” Don’t do that, okay? Thanks.
Seriously, though. You don’t have to explain your “no” all the time. If someone asks you to do something, you can say, “I’m not going to be able to do that”, and that’s good enough. You don’t always have to apologize for not being able to do something, as if not being able to do something is an offense against someone else. Let me give you an example. I’m not sorry that I cannot come to the phone. Why? Because if I can’t come to the phone, that means that I’m doing something productive with my life that currently demands my attention. I’m not attaching “I’m sorry” to that. NO, I can’t come to the phone. Period. Does the phone company apologize before they tell you that all of their representatives are helping other customers? Absolutely not. Why? Because they don’t owe you an apology for being present and conducting their business. They only time they apologize is when the wait times are extremely high - and even then, not all of them apologize. I’m not saying to be arrogant and say, “No, I’m not answering your call. Shut up.” That’s not what I’m saying at all. But at the same time, you are not wronging someone just because you’re not always available to them.
If you don’t have time to go to an event because you need to study for finals, it is totally okay to say, “I’m not going to be able to make that”. PERIOD. You don’t owe the world an explanation about what you’re doing with your life. Now if it’s a good friend, family member, etc. and the relationship warrants an explanation, you have to make that call and act accordingly. But I’m telling you right now that I’m not going to apologize or explain my “no”. And that’s not being prideful. It’s not. But you don’t apologize for your yes. You don’t explain your yes. You just say “yes”. And with the same power, authority and fervor that you say “yes”, you should be able to say “no”. It really is a complete sentence.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
Today’s podcast is about desires. I don’t think we understand the power of desire. For one, our desires tell a lot about who we are as individuals. They speak to the condition of our hearts. They show us how we are viewing the world. They show us how spiritually and emotionally healthy we are. Desires speak to us in ways that nothing else does.
I’m going to challenge you to think about your desires today. First question: What do you desire? Really take some time to think about that. Next question: Why do you desire that thing?
That’s it. Evaluate your desires. If you download my podcast notes, there’s a sheet that you can use to write down your desires. You need to know what you’re consciously AND subconsciously manifesting into your life… so be sure to really tap in and write down what you’re desiring and why.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
Remember when you were in school and the teacher gave you busy work? Didn’t you just hate it? I remember every time we would have certain substitutes, we would KNOW that we were going to have worksheets to do all day. You could bank on it being the most boring day ever, and you could also bank on the fact that the sub wasn’t gonna grade any of those papers, and neither was the teacher.
I’m gonna tell you something I have learned. A lot of people who claim to be so busy are just doing busy work. How can you tell? Because busy work isn’t productive. It produces, but what it produces doesn’t have any substance and it doesn’t get anyone any further. As a matter of fact, a lot of times, it just creates more unnecessary work for someone else.
There is a quote I LOVE that says, “Stop the glorification of busy.” People absolutely LOVE to be busy… but what exactly is coming out of all of that busyness? How is the world changing? What is being done to make self and others better? Think about it: Do you think Oprah tells her friends how busy she is every day? Do you think when Steve Harvey gets home, he says, “This was such a busy day”. No. Why? Because when you are really living in your purpose, YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO TALK ABOUT HOW BUSY YOU ARE.
So now let’s look at our lives. How much “busy work” are we doing? How many times do we do things just so that it will appear that we have a lot going on? How many times do we go through the motions every day because we feel like if we’re not busy all day and night, we’re not making an impact?
I podcast EVERY SINGLE DAY (for your Inspiration and empowerment), and you will NEVER hear me get on the phone and talk about how busy I am. Why? Because I don’t have to. We have really glorified busy, and we really need to stop. You don’t get a prize for being busy. You get a prize for the FRUIT of your labor. So if your busyness isn’t bearing fruit, you are wasting your time.
I had to look at my life and cut out A LOT of stuff. I even cut back on how much I post on social media. Why? Because what I started to notice is that I was posting a lot because I felt like I had to in order to show that I’m really out here working. But the proof of the fact that I’m out here working is the FRUIT that comes from it.
I just want to encourage you today to let go of the busy work and do what God has put you here to do. If you do that, you won’t have time to sit around all day talking about how busy you are - nor will you have the desire to do so.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
Growing up, any time my grandma hadn’t heard from someone in a while, she would say, “No news is good news”. I totally get it. Most of the time, if you haven’t heard from someone in a while, it is because they are off living their life and investing their time and energy into pursuing and fulfilling their goals. I totally get it. Now being a suicide prevention specialist, let me pause and say that of course this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t still check on people when you haven’t heard from them - but I still understand why this old saying holds true in a lot of instances and areas of life.
Let me give you another perspective. You know that’s what I do. Let’s look at this literally and talk about the actual news. Older people grew up in a totally different word from the world we live in. I grew up in a totally different world than the world I live in now. I remember growing up with my grandma watching the news, and every now and then you’d hear about a murder. Most of the news was about stuff like car accidents, weather, a few robberies here and there, but nothing like the news is today.
So many older people have anxiety and an overwhelming feeling of gloom SIMPLY because they sit down and watch the news all day. A lot of Millennials live in fear because of what they see on the news every day. Hear me when I say that the news has an agenda. That’s why every Monday or Tuesday, you’ll see social media in an uproar about something. Racism, a celebrity, an engagement ring, the color of a dress… SOMETHING. It’s all strategically planned. And by Friday, everyone has moved on from the topic they spent all day Monday and Tuesday arguing about. The release of information is planned. The spin that is placed on information is planned. That’s why if you ever pay attention, the original story and the subsequent stories are always slightly different. Start paying attention.
LITERALLY, no news is good news. The only time I watch the news is when I’m visiting someone who is watching it or when I’m sitting and waiting at a place of business and I don’t feel like starting at my iPhone. My television is in storage, and the only reason I have a television is to watch documentaries and movies about topics I love. My anxiety was cut by at least 90% when I stopped watching the news.
I still go online and check out current events on the news sites. I still check the weather. I get news alerts on my phone. But I can look at the headline of the story and pretty much gather the agenda behind it. Sometimes news is published simply to inform us. However, that’s not always the case.
So… If you find yourself constantly being anxious, fearful or sad, try this. Go one week without watching the news. Just one week. Seven whole days in my Toni Braxton voice. Do that, and see if anything changes in your life. Let me know how it goes!
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
Word on the street is that Benjamin Franklin said that if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. I wholeheartedly agree with this statement, and I’m gonna tell you why. I have spent a good portion of my life allowing life to live me. What does that mean? Quite simply, I would just take whatever came my way. Of course I had goals, I had hopes and dreams and everything - but I hardly ever sat down and got a concrete plan in place. And when I did, more often than not, I allowed life to knock me off course, and that would be the end of that.
What this taught me now that I’m older is that preparation is key. It is important to KNOW what it is that you desire and what it is that you want to do with your time. I understand going with the flow. Trust me, I do. But you still need to prepare, so that you are IN the RIGHT FLOW. Things flow to us according to what we purpose and intend. Every flow isn’t meant for us.
For example: As I am sitting here preparing this podcast, my phone is vibrating off the imaginary hook. I could just go with the flow and say, “Well they called or texted so they must need something”, or I could go with the flow and say “Let me finish what I’m doing and I’ll be sure to get back with them when I can.” See how that works? Sometimes we use “I’m going with the flow” as an excuse for us to give in to our distractions. No bueno, man. No bueno.
I encourage you to make PLANNING a priority this year. Make PREPARATION a priority. You want a mate? Make sure you’re doing what it takes to prepare for having a mate. Make sure you’re working on what you’re gonna bring to the table. Need another job? Make sure your resume is up to par. Shameless plug, but I do resume writing as a part of my business, so hit me up if you need to. If you’re a business owner, is your elevator pitch ready? What about your business cards?
You know why people miss opportunities? Because they aren't prepared for the opportunities when they come. MOST of the biggest opportunities you will ever have are gonna come when you weren’t really expecting them. You’re just gonna be carrying on and living your everyday life, and opportunity is going to knock. Will you be prepared? That could literally be a million-dollar question. It could bless you or it could cost you. The good news is that the ball is in your court. When the clock is down to the last few seconds and there’s one shot to be made and the ball gets passed to you, go ahead and make that shot you spent all season preparing for. I’m pulling for you!
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
I’m gonna be honest with you guys. Even with this new year coming in, I have still been sidetracked. I was getting ready to write today’s episode, and it dawned on me that I AM STILL wasting a lot of my time. Let me explain.
There are some people who just aren’t gonna get it. It doesn’t matter how much you want them to get it. It doesn’t matter how much you invest into them. They’re not gonna get it. They’re not gonna grow. They’re not gonna go after their dreams. They’re not gonna “stop their stuff”. We can spend so much time focusing on trying to make the horse drink after we get them to the water that we forget about everyone else in the world who would gladly drink if they knew where the water was.
Let me set the stage. Jesus was about to go away from here, and He was talking to His disciples about how things were about to go down. He’s about to tell Peter that he’s gonna deny Him three times, but this is what He says first:
Luke 22:31 “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift each of you like wheat. 32 But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail. So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers.” After you have repented and turned to Him again, strengthen your brothers.
That thing hit me like a ton of bricks. He never said for Peter to go back and try to convince anyone of anything. He simply said, “Strengthen your brothers”. That meant that Peter was supposed to come back and spend the rest of his days strengthening people. Not wrestling with them. Not waiting for them. Strengthening them.
Trust me when I say that there is a remnant of people who would love to receive the help God has given you to give to them. There are people who will take your advice. There are people who will patronize your business. There are people who will purchase your courses and products and services. Strengthen THEM. STRENGTHEN them. Spend your time building. Don’t spend your time allowing yourself to be torn down.
Think about it. Who would want to hear Peter after he sat there and denied Jesus THREE TIMES after just telling him that he was willing to die for him? Jesus didn’t care about any of that. He told Peter what to do, and even after Peter slipped up, he came back, got it right, and did exactly what Jesus had instructed Him to do.
You’ve wasted enough time. You’ve denied the call of God on your life long enough. It is now time for you to repent, get back to who and what you know you should be, and go and strengthen your brothers. That’s what you’re gonna find me doing.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
Yesterday, I gave you some questions to ask yourself about the five people you spend the most time with. Be sure to check out Episode 64 if you missed it. Today, we are going to evaluate our daily routine. Sometimes in life, we feel stuck. We feel like we don’t have any momentum at all. The best way to get to the bottom of this is to examine and evaluate our daily routine.
Why? Because sometimes, it’s the things we do every day that cause us to feel the way we feel. For example, some people dread Mondays and it has nothing to do with the fact that the weekend is over. They dread Mondays because they don’t like their everyday life. The weekends are an escape from that life, and Mondays snap them back into that life. If you focus on the fact that you hate Mondays and never delve into what you do every day that causes you to hate Mondays, you’ll never get to the root of the issue, and you’ll never give yourself a chance to make it better. Understand? So let’s see what’s going on in these lives of ours.
I’m going to give you an activity to do, and I want you to do it for three days. Three consecutive days.
Ready? Let’s go.
For three days, I want you to write down or voice record EXACTLY what you do when you wake up in the morning. From the instant you realize that you’re awake, I want you to write down the first ten things you do. Next, I want you to write down the first three people you talk to. After that, I want you to write down how you feel about each part of your day. Are you anxious about going to work? Are you sad about leaving your spouse? Are you happy about leaving everyone at home and going to work? How do you feel? And finally, I want you to write down the last ten things you do before you go to bed.
This exercise is going to show you what is influencing your daily moods, thoughts, attitudes and behaviors. You may find that watching certain programs before bed causes you to have anxiety the next morning. You may find that listening to certain types of music or having certain conversations in the morning allows you to laugh and unwind before a long day at work. Whatever it is that you need to know, evaluating your daily routine will tell you.
Feel free to share what you have discovered. I’d love to know how this exercise impacts your life!
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
Fam. It’s time to do some evaluating. The first thing we are going to evaluate is our connections. I’m going to ask you a series of questions, and I want you to think about the people you are connected to. You don’t have to do anything with this information if you don’t want to, but I’m gonna challenge you to think about it. Ask these questions about the five people you spend the most time with.
Ready? Let’s go.
Question 1: Does this person add anything to your life?
Question 2: How does being around this person make you feel the majority of the time?
Question 3: Does this person strengthen you in any way?
Question 4: Is this person self-sufficient, or does he/she rely on you?
Question 5: More often than not, does an interaction with this person leave you strengthened or drained?
Question 6: Is this person doing any good in the world?
Question 7: Is this person living or merely existing?
Question 8: Do you deal with this person out of obligation or personal choice?
Question 9: Has this person grown any from where he/she was at this time last year?
Question 10: What do you add to this person’s life?
Question 11: Does this person correct you when you’re wrong?
Question 12: Are you serving what you believe to be God’s intended purpose in their life?
Question 13: Are they serving what you believe to be God’s intended purpose in your life?
Question 14: Do they handle conflict/disagreement in a healthy manner?
Question 15: Is this a relationship you are proud of?
Question 16: Do you believe this to be a connection that God is pleased with?
I know that this is a long list of questions, but please believe that evaluating your connections is one of the best things you can do in this season. Be sure to download the podcast notes if you want a digital or physical copy of these questions. Ask God what to do with the answers.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
We are in a whole entire new year. Isn’t exciting? Although I know that we greet the new year with lots of excitement and anticipation, I also know that some of us still have anxieties and fears. It’s understandable. You start out a year being happy and excited, and then something happens that devastates you, and you feel disappointed. Then when another year comes in, you’re scared to really get excited because you feel like you’re setting yourself up for the same disappointment again. Let’s deal with this today.
2018 is not going to be perfect. No year can be perfect in this imperfect world. However, what can remain perfect is your understanding that although all things may not feel good, all things are forever working for your good. All things, always, in all ways. Knowing this will help you to go through this year and pass your tests with flying colors.
There is absolutely NOTHING to fear. Nothing. Why? Listen. I John 4:18 in the International Standard Version of the Bible says, “There is no fear where love exists. Rather, perfect love banishes fear, for fear involves punishment, and the person who lives in fear has not been perfected in love.” Isn’t that amazing? There is no fear where love exists. Where does love exist? Everywhere. How do we know? Because God is everywhere. Therefore, there is never a reason to fear. Not ever. I know that may be hard to believe, but remember that truth never requires belief. Truth stands alone. Always remember that.
Things are gonna happen in 2018 that you may not have seen coming. You may have arguments with your friends. Things may happen in this world that you never would have imagined. Life didn’t stop because we crossed over into another year. People are still people, politics is still politics, etc. However, what you can do this year that you haven't done before is live in a place of perfect love. How do you do that? By really living with an awareness of God. Not just God, though. God IN you. When you realize that God literally lives, moves and breathes in you and that you live, move and have your BEing (existence) IN GOD, you can’t help but realize that there is really nothing to fear.
Go after your dreams this year. Have that meeting. Ask for that sale. Write that book. Go on that vacation. Do not fear. That doesn’t mean to be careless and reckless, because remember, God uses wisdom and freely gives it to us. But what it does mean is that you don’t have to be held hostage to any fear you may feel. You will still feel it, but you don’t have to operate in it. Got it? Good.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
We made it, fam! Happy New Year! I pray that this year is all you could ever want and need and more! I’m gonna give you seven things to do this year.
Live. Live your life. Don’t you let 2018 happen to you. You happen to 2018! Walk with God. Walk. Keep it moving. Make progress. Just make sure you do it with an awareness of who God is, what God requires and what God has given to you. Stay free. Apologize when needed. Forgive when needed. Ask God for understanding, innerstanding and overstanding. Keep your perspective high. Whenever you feel yourself being moved by things, go up higher and see what’s really going on. Pray. Meditate. Have quiet time. Write down what is spoken to you by the Spirit. Write down what comes to your mind. Examine it. See what to keep and what to discard. Limit social media. If you’re like me, your business demands that you be on social media. However, you must still limit your time on social media, and you most definitely should limit the amount of influence it has over you. Don’t let the opinions and lifestyles of others keep you in bondage. Live YOUR life. Flow. You don’t have to have everything figured out. Know that you have dominion here, and just flow. When action is needed, take action. When stillness is required, be still. Love. Love always. Love no matter what. Read I Corinthians 13 if you’re not sure what I’m talking about. Remember that God and love are the exact same thing. Don’t allow anyone or anything to take your love away. Maintain it. Protect it. Share it. Freely. Always.
And that’s it! Let’s have an amazing year!
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
Today is the last day of the year. I’m glad. I’m VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY GLAD. 2017 has been a lot. It has been wonderful at times, it has been horrible at times, but it has always worked for my good. 100% of the time. I don’t really have any major regrets… I’m just ready for it to be over with.
Here are the top three lessons I’ve learned in 2017:
My relationship with God is just that: MY relationship WITH GOD. I did a whole podcast about this lesson, so be sure to check out Episode 58. The Kingdom of God is worth fighting for. It may seem like church folks have completely messed up what we know to be the Kingdom, but please believe that what God desires to be established here on earth is definitely worth fighting for. The Body of Christ is worth fighting for. I’m not talking about the religious system. I’m talking about the true essence of who we are and how we’re connected. It’s worth fighting for. I AM directly responsible for every moment of my time that I allow others to waste. At the end of the the day, I was entrusted with this time. It’s my responsibility to prevent the wasting of it. I shouldn’t waste it, and I shouldn’t allow others to waste it (whenever I can help it, which is most of the time). This is a bonus… All things get better. Always.
I’m not going to get into the intentions I’ve set for 2018. Just know that they are real, they WILL HAPPEN, and I AM very excited about what this year will bring. I will enjoy every moment and I will get through every test. This is going to be an amazing year. I have nothing but great expectations. What about you? Now is the time to think about that.
I’m gonna leave you with this question. What if today was not only the last day of the year, but what if it was YOUR last day? How would you act? What would you do? Would you be satisfied with your life? Would you be satisfied with your relationships? Would the arguments be worth it? Would you be happy with how you've used your time. As you plan your next year, keep those answers in mind.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
I AM absolutely and positively a music fanatic. I LOVE music. I have music notes tatted on me, I have “#iSing” tatted on me - I am absolutely in love with music. To know me is to know this.
Today, I want to talk to you about the power of playlists. I use playlists for EVERYTHING. Why? Because music has proven to be mood-altering. Music gets me through EVERYthing.
This podcast is gonna be short because I’m gonna give you an assignment. I want you to create some playlists. If you’re not a music person, reach out to me and I’ll help you. I want you to create playlists on Spotify, Apple Music, Google Play Music, YouTube or whatever you use. What kinds of playlists? I’m glad you asked!
I want you to think about all the things you want to feel. Happiness, peace, gratitude, etc. - and then I want you to find songs that encourage or boost those moods. Start listening to those songs on the regular and watch how your life improves! I do a weekly playlist on Spotify, so if you have Spotify, be sure to find me at NaKoleWatson and you’ll see it in my public playlists! If you prefer, you can access it by visiting http://bit.ly/NaKolesList.
Feel free to share your playlists with me. It doesn’t matter the genre - I don’t discriminate!
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
Growing up. Some people say it’s hard to do. We all know about growing pains, right? Growing up is definitely not always the easiest thing. If you are a millennial, you already know how hard “adulting” can be. Sometimes, you just don’t feel like doing it. I get it.
Let’s think about it, though. When you are young, the doctors always check to make sure that you’re growing properly. If you’re not, they call it “failure to thrive”, which means that you’re not gaining the weight you should be gaining as you grow.
Now let’s take that example and look at your life. Are you thriving? Are you gaining the weight you should be gaining as you get older? Healthy weight. Not unhealthy weight.
As a matter of fact, let’s dig deeper into that. The older we get, the more likely we are to gain unhealthy weight. This comes from eating fatty foods, lack of sleep, lack of exercise, etc. But what about the other types of unhealthy weight? Do we ever think about them? What about the weight from bad relationships? What about the weight from unresolved shame and emotional baggage? What about that?
Have you ever seen a child who was overweight at a young age, but as they grew up, they slimmed down? That’s what we should be doing. As we grow up, we should be dropping our “baby fat” and only gaining healthy weight. Let me grab a scripture for us. I Corinthians 13:11 in the English Standard Version says, “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” We should be doing the exact same thing. There should come a point in our lives when we no longer desire to speak like children. We should no longer want to think like children. We should no longer reason like children. I’ll do you one better. We even have to look at the past year and decide whether or not it will be healthy to continue to speak, think and reason the way we have been doing so.
Listen. It’s okay to grow up. It’s okay to realize that you have outgrown situations, people, places and things. If your child is in a classroom and two of the kids in there are failing to pick up the material as fast as your child, would you want your child to stay in there and be delayed because of the delay of others? Absolutely not. You would expect your child to be moved to an environment where he/she would be stimulated. The same is true of our lives. There’s nothing wrong with looking around and realize that who you are at the moment requires more than what you see around you. It is okay to grow up.
It hurts sometimes. It’s hard having to look at friends and say, “This relationship is slowing me down, and I’m gonna have to let it go (or change it) if I ever want to grow.” - but as hard as that is, it is OKAY to feel that way. It’s okay to realize that you’re tired of being the smartest person in your circle. It’s okay to realize that you’re tired of being the most spiritually astute person in your group. It’s okay to grow up. It may hurt, it may be frustrating, and it may be misunderstood… but it is OKAY. Remember that.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
Reflections. 2017 is coming to an end… quickly. We only have a little bit of time before 2018 gets here… and this is a good time to reflect on our year. If you haven’t been reflecting, I would definitely encourage you to do so. Just make sure that you’re doing it from a healthy place and not one of condemnation. We don’t live in condemnation.
As I look back over 2017, I can definitely say that I have grown. Let’s talk about my spiritual growth first. This year, I have really learned that my walk with God is just that: MY walk… with GOD. No other parties have the right to tell me how to carry out that walk. I still welcome and appreciate godly counsel, but I no longer base my life’s decisions on how other people will react to what I decide to do. All there has ever been in my life is me and God. I was with God before I came here. I came here with God. I’m walking through this life with God. At the end, I’ll be with God forever… which isn’t a change, because I’ve always been with God. I’ve always been a thought in God’s mind. Everyone and everything I have run across and will run across in this life is temporary. No one I have in my life now will always be there, even if they have always been here up until this point. The only thing that is forever is my walk with God. From beginning to end, that’s the one thing in my life that will not ever come to an end. It’s the only thing that never began. It has always just been. Therefore, I have learned to regard that relationship above all others. It has changed so much about how I live my life. It has caused me to dig deeper. It has caused me to let some people go. It has caused me to focus more on what God has given me to do. It’s the best lesson I’ve learned all year, and perhaps all my life.
My business has grown tremendously this year. I started this podcast, I released an updated edition of my book, AND I released another book. I’m so excited about the growth I have seen, and I know that it’s only the beginning.
Personally, I’ve grown in soooooo many ways. I’m not ready to talk about them yet, but just know that your girl is over here growing up something!
I hope you will take a moment and reflect. Hindsight is always 20/20, and that’s a good thing. Why? Because somethings you see with your hindsight are gonna come up again… and when they do, you’ll know exactly what to do.
I’d love to hear about your reflections, so feel free to share with me! I’d love to read about how much you’ve grown!
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
I have a serious message for you today. I’m gonna make this a short podcast, but it’s gonna be an impactful one. I’ve got two words for you: Be gentle.
You NEVER know what someone else may be going through. Be gentle with people. I’m not telling you to let people talk to you any kind of way or treat you any kind of way, but what I AM telling you is to be gentle. You can be firm and still be gentle. You can say what you mean and mean what you say without being abrasive. People are going through so much. That doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it also doesn’t mean that you can’t offer grace.
Today when you go out in public, try to see people through God’s eyes. Someone you meet today may have been recently diagnosed with cancer. They may not have food to eat. They may have lost a loved one. They may not know how they are going to pay their bills. They may have just had their car repossessed or their house foreclosed on. They may be a victim of human trafficking. They may be in an abusive relationship. They may have just heard the worst news of their life. You don’t know. Just as others don’t know what’s going on behind your smile, you don’t know what’s going on behind theirs. So… Be gentle. Please. Sometimes your smile will be the very thing that keeps someone from going over the edge. Sometimes your one act of grace will be the thing that keeps someone from attempting suicide. Be gentle. Really treat people the way you wish to be treated. Really. We all need love.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
As many of you may know, I AM no stranger to suicidal ideation. I’m no stranger to feeling like life would be better for me if it ended. No stranger at all. I’ve had a lot of material things in my lifetime. I know what it is to have all the money you need. I know what it is to not want for a single thing. I know a few famous people. I have traveled a whole lot in my lifetime. I had all of these things going for myself, but I hadn’t allowed myself to have the one thing I so desperately needed: peace. Not just any type of peace, though. I’m talking about the peace of God.You see, some peace is just the absence of chaos. So, when you’re in a hurricane, the front of the storm comes and you have chaos. The eye of the storm comes and you have peace. The back end of the storm comes and you have chaos. But when you have the peace of God, it doesn’t matter what comes or goes. You have peace in the front of the storm, during the eye, during the end of the storm, and every day after the storm. It’s a peace that can’t be given or taken away by anyone or anything in this world. God’s peace. Philippians 4:6-8 says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.“ There is a peace that God gives that will literally guard your heart and mind. That is the peace you need to ask God for. Why? Because when your mind is guarded, that means that any and everything won’t have the ability to penetrate your mind. It means that negative thoughts won’t be able to linger. It means that negative conversations won’t be able to take root. It means that you won’t be pondering the bad things your family or so-called friends may have said about you. How do I know this? Because when your mind is guarded, you can focus on other things.
It’s kind of like when you get a new security system at your house. You don’t have to worry about someone coming to the door and trying to get in without you realizing it. Why? Because you know that as long as your security system is activated the moment someone tries to break in, help will be called, and they will soon be on the way. The peace of God is like that, but it’s even better. Why? Because the Bible says that when you are in the midst of trouble, God is a present help (Psalm 64:1). Present. Not “on the way”. Present. Remember, before you can even call on God, God is already there. Isaiah 64:24 says, “Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.“ God is ALWAYS around.
It is so important to allow God to guard your mind. It saves so much energy. It keeps us free to focus on what we need to focus on. What are we supposed to focus on? The scripture tells us. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. The peace is yours for the asking, but this is how you maintain it. Think on these things.
The world will hurl things at you all day, every day. Every Monday or Tuesday, the media gives the masses something to argue about. A dress, an engagement ring, a video, a mother disciplining her child - SOMETHING. And every week, people spend a good two days arguing, and then by the end of the week, everyone has forgotten about whatever it was. Pay attention. It happens every week. If I were you, I would stop falling into the trap. Allow your mind to be guarded so that you can focus on what really matters in the long run. A guarded mind is one of the best things you could ever receive from God.
It’s Christmas!!!! Goodness gracious. I’m not really in the Christmas spirit, but I’m so glad to be alive! We had such an amazing Christmas Eve service at church yesterday. It was so good to see the smiles on everyone’s faces. There were a few tears here and there, but through it all, we had an amazing time.
I’m spending this Christmas by myself, and although I was kinda sad about it at first, it is totally okay. I’m taking some time to work on some amazing things for my tribe and I’m enjoying some amazing movies on Amazon Prime Video and YouTube. I refuse to be sad about what I can’t control. Everything I experience in my life is only here to teach me a lesson - so I strive to learn my lessons and allow each experience to make me better regardless of how it makes me feel. I encourage you to do the same. I’m gonna share my Christmas FB post with you because I really want you to get this message:
Christmas isn't "merry" for some people. Some people have "family" every day but holidays, so they spend the holidays alone. Some people have to sit at the family dinner table and be belittled or criticized by other family members. Some people are grieving. Some people are sad because they have absolutely nothing (physical) to give. Christmas isn't always a happy time. It's often a reminder that no matter how much we convince ourselves that things are a certain way, they're really not that way at all. For some, it's a reminder that you still don't really "belong" to anyone. For others, it's a reminder that you really are "the black sheep of the family". So. No matter what your issue is today, be sure to take care of YOU. Don't let your outside circumstances affect your inner peace. You don't have to be around your verbally abusive family members. Even if you have to be there physically, you don't have to be there mentally. Your loved one may not be there, but your loved one is okay. And if you don't have anything to give, don't give anybody anything. The best gift they could ever get from you IS YOU, whether they realize it or not. If you're waiting for this day to pass, don't worry - it will. But remember that at the end of your life, when you're wishing you'd had more time, this day will be included in the "more time" you will be wishing for. If I were you, I'd treat this day like any other day and make the best of it. ♥
Whether you’re surrounded by friends, enemies or no one at all, I want you to have yourself a merry little Christmas. You deserve it.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
Do you remember the end of 2016? Do you remember all the plans you made for this year? Do you remember any of the dissapointments you felt at the end of last year? Did you promise yourself to make better use of your time this year? Did you make resoluations last year? Did you make goals? Do you remember what it felt like to be at the end of 2016? Were you excited? Did you feel accomplished? Did you feel like you failed?
Here we are at the last week of 2017. The very last week. I can honestly look back and say that I didn’t accomplish half of what I set out to accomplish this year. However, I accomplished so much MORE than I could have ever imagined. As I embark upon the last week of this year, I am evaluating a lot of things.
I have made a lot of changes in my life over the past couple of weeks. I have unfollowed a lot of people on social media just because I get tired of seeing the same people go through the same cycles all the time. I have filled my newsfeeds with more positive and uplifting people as well as people who really challenge me and make me think. I still have a few people who agitate me a little bit, but sometimes that agitation is very necessary. Remember that iron sharpens iron, and it does so by creating friction and heat. You need a little agitation in your life sometmes.
I have also made some decisions about my lifestyle. I’m gonna try to eliminate seafood from my diet next year. I’m gonna cut my dairy intake by at least 50%. I’m going to pray more, fast more and DEFINITEY read more. Definitely. I’m not making a lot of plans for 2018, but I AM planning to enjoy every single day and to be intentional about doing so.
As you embark upon the last week of the year, I encourage you to think about your life. You are right where you need to be, so don’t get caught up “I should have been further”. Maybe you should have, but right now, you are where you need to be in order to evaluate your successes and failures and move forward with a better plan.
While you use this time to reflect, be sure to forgive yourself for your mistakes. Forgive others for theirs as well, whether they asked you to or not. And as you reflect, be sure to set your intentions for next year. Who do you intend to be? What do you intend to do? Where do you intend to go? How do you intend to help people? Write those intentions down. Don’t type them out. Get you a nice pen and write them down. Your future will greatly appreiate it.
Remember to live your life. Don’t let your life live you.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
This time of year is so hard for so many people, and I think the pressure some of us put on ourselves is so unfair. Let me just break it on down. You do not have to go in debt trying to give people the world. You don’t have to sit around and beat yourself up because you can’t buy your kids anything for Christmas. There are too many toy giveaways and other charity events going on for you to be somewhere stressing about what you don’t have. And I’m not saying this from an insensitive place because I understand what it’s like to want to do something and not be able to do it. But what I’ve learned is that what we feel like we “have to do” really was never a requirement.
So. Do what you CAN. Give out of what you HAVE. Yeah, it may be true that you are currently lacking this or that, but what do you HAVE? Focus on that. Focus on everything you have. I saw this amazing video on social media today, and I’m gonna share it with you on the episode notes on my website. If you're already on my website, it's below.
Don’t stress yourself out. Please. Ask yourself: “What do I have?” Even if all you have is you, you are enough to make everyone’s Christmas the most merry Christmas ever. I promise! And if people don’t agree, then THEY are missing out - not you.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
I’m a huge fan of etymology. Etymology is the study of words. So often, we use words and we have no idea what they REALLY mean. Let me give you an example:
Webster defines “entertain” as "to show hospitality to or to provide entertainment for." So. Having heard that, you would think that anything here to entertain you was just something to make you feel good, keep you amused or to take you out of your regular routine for a positive purpose, right? Nah. Here’s the breakdown of what entertain REALLY means. It means "to keep up, maintain, to keep (someone) in a certain frame of mind," Anything that entertains you was actually created to keep you in a certain frame of mind. This is why we have to be so selective about who and what we allow ourselves to be entertained by. That one is for free. I’ll talk about it more next year, though.
Anyway, let’s talk about emotions. Etymology lets us know that an emotion is “a social moving, stirring, agitation”. What does this mean? It means that any time an emotion comes, it comes as a movement and it comes to move, stir or agitate you. This is why people say that they were hit with a “wave” or a “flood” of emotion. Here’s the tea tho: Emotions come as moving, stirring and agitating because they are supposed to keep moving. We stop them and wallow in them, which prevents them from achieving their intended purpose. Think about it. If you’re standing on the shore trying to take pictures, and you move with every wave that comes, you will NEVER get anything done. The same is true with emotions.
When you feel a happy emotion, you are supposed to fully embrace and enjoy those moments of happiness. However, if you lock yourself into that one moment of happiness, how will you ever see what the rest of your life has to offer? There could be a million more happy moments coming your way, but you can’t get to them if you allow yourself to be stagnant in or moved off course by that one moment of happiness. The same is true about anger. If you let your anger move you, you could end up doing something you would regret for the rest of your life. On the flip side, you could feel your anger, be present in that moment, learn what you need to learn, plan what you need to plan, and allow that anger to pass so that you may enjoy the next moment life has to offer.
See how that works? I’m not telling you not to feel your emotions. As a matter of fact, what I’m actually telling you is to feel your emotions completely and wholeheartedly. But after you feel them, let them pass. Keep them in motion.
I found myself going through so many emotional ups and downs and highs and lows all the time. Why? Because I allowed emotions to move me. It got so bad that I actually created a journal that I still use to this day. In the journal, I literally plan what I’m going to do when I feel sad and/or angry. That way, if I find myself in one of those moments, I know exactly what I need to do. This journal has been a lifesaver for me. If you would like one, just check out the episode notes on my website and you’ll see the link there (or if you're on my website, the link is below).
Whether you get a journal or not, the most important thing to me is that you keep your emotions in motion. Always. The good ones, the not so good ones - ALL of them. It’s so much better for your health.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
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One thing I love about us human beings is our ability to sympathize and empathize. Here’s a refresher for those who may have forgotten the difference: sympathy is when you feel sorry for someone, and empathy is when you are able to put yourself in the person’s shoes (often because you have been in a similar situation). Sympathy says “I am sorry you’re in pain”. Empathy says “I feel our pain”. You don’t have to have experienced the same thing as a person to feel their pain, but having similar experiences often makes it easier to empathize with a person. Got it? Let’s continue.
I know you’ve experienced this. Someone posts on social media about how they’re feeling and underneath that post is a flood of “me too”, “I went through that too”, “Yeah I’m going through it too”, etc. The person could say they lost $50 and someone will comment and say “Well I lost $500 the other day.” Let me just break this down for a moment.
Although we should show empathy and let people know that we feel where they are coming from, it is not always appropriate to make someone else’s time of venting, grieving etc. about you. In essence, when you post your “me too”, that’s what you’re doing. You may not MEAN to do that, but that’s what you’re doing.
As you may know, I am a suicide prevention specialist. Imagine this. Imagine this being the conversation between me and a suicidal person: Them: I feel so horrible today. Me: Me too! Them: I really feel like killing myself today. Me: I understand. I felt that way yesterday. Them: Yeah, my mom is in the hospital. Me: Sorry to hear that. Last month, my mom was in the hospital. Them: It’s just so hard trying to go see her and go to work. Me: When my mom and dad were in the hospital, I had to work and go to school too, so I know how you feel. Do you get the point? What value did I add to that conversation? How would I have helped the individual if all I did was fire back a “me too” to everything they said? To some people, not only is this frustrating, but it could also be very offensive. The person didn’t call me to hear about my problems. They called to get help for theirs.
Now let’s spin this conversation a different way. Them: I feel so horrible today. Me: I’m so sorry to hear that. What’s got you feeling so bad? Them: Well my mom is in the hospital. Me: That’s gotta be tough. I’m definitely gonna keep your mom in my thoughts and prayers. How are you taking care of yourself while going through this situation with your mom? (Notice that I have not yet used a “me too” statement.) Them: Well it’s hard because I have to work and try to see her too. It’s a lot. Me: Well, I can understand how hard that must be. I have been in a similar situation so I can relate. I think I have some advice that may help you. Would you like to hear it? Do you see how I structured my “me too” statement? It wasn’t appropriate to just fire it off at the beginning of the conversation. It also isn’t appropriate to give unsolicited advice. Let’s continue. Them: Sure. Me: So, last month, my mom AND my dad were in the hospital. It was a lot on me. I had to visit with both of them AND work AND go to school. I didn’t know how I was gonna get it all done, so this is what I did… See how that works? Sometimes it’s not about what you say. It’s about how you say it and WHEN you say it. Don’t be so quick to interject your “me too”. Be sure to give the other person time to express how they feel before you shift the conversation to yourself. And honestly, sometimes a “me too” is not appropriate at any point in the conversation. Sometimes it’s just best to let the other person vent and express how they feel.
I hope this helps. And if you ever find yourself on the receiving end of an inappropriate “me too”, feel free to share this podcast! I don’t mind at all.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT!
Today is our FIFTIETH EPISODE together!!! WOW!!!
Thank you soooooooo much for supporting my podcast. I really, really REALLY appreciate it more than you will ever know!
It’s only gonna get better from here.
Starting in January, I’m going to be interviewing people from all over the world who have powerful and amazing stories to tell.
In February, I will be doing a series entitled “I Believe in the Black Man”, and I will be highlighting African-American males who are making a difference in this world. If you are one or if you know of one, please let me know! The more, the merrier!
If there is any topic you want me to cover on As Told by Kole, let me know, and I will do my best to make it happen.
And finally, as a way to say THANK YOU, I am giving away a few of my I Speak Life books. The only thing you have to do to win is listen to my podcast about bereavement during the holidays and share it. I’ll announce winners on Christmas Day.
Until next time, be great! Show love to yourself and others. Catch me tomorrow!
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If there is one thing you should know about me by now, it’s that I believe in SELF-reflection. I believe that we often get so caught up in the lives and affairs of others that we forget to look at ourselves. One thing I know for sure is that life is ALWAYS teaching us. Every situation you will ever face came to teach you. Every single one.
So often, we will learn a piece of a lesson, and before we can even walk that part out, we are all ready somewhere trying to teach the lesson to someone else. I know you see it all the time on social media. If you haven’t had time to apply a lesson, have you really learned it?
Everyone on this planet is here to learn a lesson. Everyone. Our relationships are here to teach us how to love, live and better ourselves. Our trials are here to teach us how to endure and how to protect ourselves. Our weaknesses are here to teach us how to pull on the strength of God. Our ups are here to teach us to celebrate. Our downs are here to teach us to pray. Our frustrations are here to teach us to be patient, wise and ready to make a move if necessary. Our bills are here to teach us to be responsible. Our ailments are here to teach us to appreciate the vessels that house our spirits. Every single thing about this experience is a teacher.
What we have to realize is that our focus isn’t on what we are teaching. Our focus should always be on what we are here to learn. Richard Bach put it like this: “We teach best what we most need to learn.” This is so true. Have you ever noticed how easy it is to step on a soapbox and give advice but how hard it is to turn around and take that advice you gave from the soapbox? You were a beast at teaching it, but what shows if you have really learned the lesson is whether or not you can apply it.
It’s a bad thing to be a person who can teach others to swim but turns around and drowns. It’s a bad thing to teach others how to fish and then die of starvation. In life, there is nothing the enemy of our souls would rather do than to make us look like fools and liars. How? By boosting us up and making us think we have mastered something that we haven’t mastered.
What am I saying? Don’t be so eager to teach that you forget that you are here to learn. Should you teach? Absolutely. I teach every day on this podcast. But you know why I’m able to do that? Because I took the time to learn the lessons this life is teaching me. I’m still learning. Learning never stops. Don’t miss your lessons because you’re so busy trying to teach someone else theirs. Embrace the learning process, embrace the lessons, and embrace your life. Learn all you can while you can.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
I wish I could tell you that this is one of the greatest lessons I’ve ever learned, but I don’t really think I have mastered it yet. I’m trying, though!
Here we go. A lot of what we think is personal really isn’t personal in the sense that we often believe. What a person does to you isn’t “personal”. It’s a reflection of something that is within that individual that they are attempting to project onto you. However, the “personal” part is making sure that you uncover and understand what it is that you are to learn from the experience you had, and what it is that is in you that allowed or caused this thing to happen.
In saying that, balance is key. There is a difference between introspection and self-blaming. You are not to blame for how others treat you, but you can definitely evaluate your life and see how you can stop allowing people to treat you certain ways. Balance.
There are people in your life who seem to always be grouchy. Not your problem. You can choose to allow their grouchiness to affect you, you can choose to ignore them, you can choose to tell them about their actions, or you can choose to stop being in relationship with them. The only thing personal about the situation is YOUR CHOICE. Don’t allow yourself to take the blame for how anyone else is. It’s not your problem, your issue, your fault.
It is human nature to think, “What did I do?” “What is wrong with me that people treat me like this?” “Why don’t people treat me right?” And these are valid questions as long as they are asked from the right place. If you’re asking from a “I blame myself for the actions of others” place, that is totally unhealthy. If you’re asking from a “I am going to use my experiences as opportunities to learn what I need to change about myself and how I interact with people” place, you’re good to go. Remember: Don’t take it personal. Not today, not ever.
Everything about your life is here to teach you. Life isn’t here to beat you down or make you feel bad about yourself. Life is here to teach you. When you learn that and really grasp that concept, you will learn how to see what people do and look beyond their actions to see the lesson. Do I do this all the time? Nope. Do I take stuff personal sometimes, absolutely. But it’s not because I don’t know better. And now you know better, too. When you know better, you are supposed to do better. That’s my challenge to myself today, and I’m challenging you too!
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
Roller coasters. You either love them or you hate them. You know the routine. You stand in line. You wait. You get up to the front of the line. You have second thoughts. You get on. You call on Jesus, pray and do all that stuff, even if you don't even pray on a regular basis. You take a deep breath. You take off. The screaming commences. You don’t really know what’s happening or where you’re going. You close your eyes, but they you open them because you want to see what’s going on. You go up… and up, and up, and up. You see it coming. You brace yourself. However, even after all of your bracing, you’re still not prepared. Down you go. Fast. You call Jesus again. Your face? Oh, you’ll see that as soon as you get off the ride. Plastered on a screen for all to see. Up and down, round and round you go. And then, just like that, it’s over.
Roller coasters. Here’s the thing, though. You can’t really be mad at a rollercoaster because you elected to ride it. You more than likely paid to ride it. You stood in line, you waited, you did all of that. The only time you really get mad about a rollercoaster ride is if it wasn’t enough of a ride or if the ride gave you whiplash or something. Other than that, you stumble off the ride and cringe when you see how horrible your face looked, and you go on with your day.
But what about those other roller coasters? The ones you DIDN’T pay for. The ones you DIDN’T sign up for. What about those? Those are the ones we’re going to talk about today.
If you’re not careful, you will find yourself on roller coasters you have no idea how you got on. Things will start off great, and then out of nowhere, the ups and downs will start. The twists and turns will start. The flips and switches will start - and you will find yourself in a state of confusion not understanding what is going on. And sometimes, just like a real rollercoaster, there is nothing you can do but ride it out.
I’m going to present you with to options. When you find yourself on a rollercoaster that you didn’t sign up for, you can either escape or endure. I Corinthians 10:13 (New Living Translation) puts it like this: “ The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.“
Let’s talk about the escape first. God will always, always, ALWAYS show you a way out. Now keep in mind, that’s ALL God is gonna do. God isn’t going to go in there and get you and drag you out…. because God didn’t drag you in. God is going to SHOW YOU a way out so that YOU can get out. The way out is on God. The getting out is on you.
Your other option is to endure. Not to CONDONE, but to endure. Sometimes the only way off the ride is to make it to the end. And if that is the only option, God is going to give you grace (which is supernatural empowerment) to do so. Always know that.
When you find yourself on a roller coaster with someone, I can’t tell you which option to choose. But what I can tell you is that when you get off that roller coaster, don’t you get your behind back up there again. And if you do, you may as well just ride it out because you already knew what you were getting into when you got up there. No need to stop the ride this time. You already knew.
Sometimes, roller coasters with people are great. They’re beneficial. Business partnerships, relationships, all kinds of stuff. But when it’s not good for you, you already know what to do. Escape or endure. Simple as that.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
Let me preface the podcast by saying this: It is not okay to use your success to try to belittle others. It is not okay to be pompous and arrogant. But honey… IT IS OKAY TO CELEBRATE. It is okay to post on social media that your life is going well. It is okay to take yourself out to eat just because. It’s okay to buy yourself an outfit to celebrate a win you just had. Now of course you need to be wise in your spending and in how much you share with the world… But it is perfectly okay to celebrate!
People will often say things to make us feel like we are wrong for being happy with our lives. They’ll act like we are being arrogant just because we posted a win. They’ll act like we are being careless because we went to the movies by ourselves in the middle of the day to unwind after a long week of work, or even “just because”. But let me tell you something: You are not always gonna be here. So while you’re here, you need to celebrate yourself.
Let me take it a step further. You don’t always even have to celebrate yourself because you specifically did something. Sometimes it’s good to celebrate you just because you’re you. There is NOTHING wrong with that at all. If no one else ever celebrates you, you shouldn’t go uncelebrated. Celebrate yourself! Do you know how often I take myself out to eat? At least twice per month. Why? Because I’m an amazing person and I need to treat myself accordingly. Do you know how often I throw dance parties for myself? Every other day. Why? Because I deserve to dance!
STOP letting people make you feel bad about celebrating yourself. They don’t want you to celebrate yourself because they can’t celebrate themselves. They don’t celebrate you because they feel like celebrating you would take away from them. Is that your problem, though? Absolutely not.
Go get your nails done. Get your feet done. Go for a nice walk. Go eat a nice dinner. Dance to some funky music. Hang out with your friends. Do whatever it takes to celebrate yourself. I mean, don’t break the law or anything, but you know what I’m saying. It is okay to celebrate yourself. It’s always in style. It’s always the season, and it’s okay. It really is! Do it!!!
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
I’m going to tell you something interesting. God has all power. Literally. God literally has all of the power that can and will ever exist. But do you know what is even more interesting? God is not going to just strike you with a lightning rod and change you. You have to desire to be changed, and you have to work towards that change.
You can lay in the bed and say “God, please remove these twenty pounds.” But what God is going to do is open up an opportunity for you to get in the gym, in your neighborhood or whatever, and WORK those twenty pounds off of you. Whether it’s walking, running, making tea or whatever it is, there is something you must do. How many times have you been in a situation and realized that the situation wasn't gonna change until you made a change? How many times have you been dealing with something and realized that even if the situation didn’t change, you needed to change the way you looked at the situation?
So. Let me ask you something. If all of the above is true about your life, and you are with you every day and every night, and you can’t change you until you change you… Why would you then turn around and think you could change someone else?
You cannot change people. Let me say it again: You cannot change people. Why do you think Jesus asked “Will thou be made whole” before He touched people? Because for one, He wanted to make sure that healing is really what they wanted. And secondly, He wanted to remind us of our own power to get free or stay bound based on our choices.
In my city, on the side of the bypass, there is a man who lives in a tent. One of my FB friends posted about this man, and people began to comment and say things like “Well I offered to help him and he declined.” “I offered to put him up in a hotel and he got snappy with me and declined my offer.” “He doesn’t want any help.” “The police offered to help him and he turned them down.” Now I could go out there with thousands of dollars, buy this man a car and a house - but if he doesn’t want to change his lifestyle, I will have wasted my efforts. The same is true with people in your life.
We spend so much of our time trying to change people. “Well if I do this, maybe she’ll change.” “If I give him this, maybe he will act right.” But the fact of the matter is that you do not have the power to change anyone but you. Period. You can’t change your parents. You can’t change your kids. You can’t change your spouse. You can’t change folks.
So. When you are in a situation that requires change, I’m not telling you to be discouraged. I’m just telling you to be realistic and understand that you can only change what you can change. And what is that? You can change yourself, you can change your presence/position in the situation, and you can change the way you think about the situation. That’s it.
Don’t get yourself all worked up trying to change someone else. It’s not going to happen. Like the little girl said on the Facebook video: “Worry about yasself.” That’s all you can do. Evaluate the situations in your life and see what you can change about you. That’ll keep you living in peace.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
It is so amazing how people can hate you (and I mean really hate you) and not even know why. It is even more amazing how people can hate you and not even realize how much they hate you. They will treat you like a junkyard dog and when you ask them why they hate you, they’ll say, “What are you talking about? I don’t hate you.” And some of them will even be bold enough to say, “You know I love you.”
Let me help everybody though. The Bible says in Matthew 12:33 (New International Version): “Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit.” This means that there is a choice. The tree can be made to be either good or bad. It also means that good fruit isn’t going to come from a bad tree, and bad fruit isn’t gonna come from a good tree. Now can a good tree produce good fruit that turns bad because of other elements? Absolutely. But when it comes FROM the tree, it’s good. The tree can’t control what happens after the fruit leaves it. The only thing the tree can do is produce fruit that lets you know what kind of tree it is.
Now. Is it possible for someone to love you and still mistreat you? Absolutely. Is it possible for a person to hate you but really love you? Absolutely not. It seems like a complicated juxtaposition of circumstances, but it’s really not. When someone really loves you but their actions (although done with good intent) are a little misguided, that’s like a good fruit that fell from the tree and got bruised because it fell on a hard place on the ground. Or the fruit that wasn’t all the way ripe and the wind knocked it off the tree too soon. The person who hates you is like the fruit that is bad on the tree and falls off and it’s still bad. See the difference?
It is possible for people to be so accustomed to their bad fruit that they don’t even realize what’s coming off their tree. It is very possible for someone to hate themselves so much that they hate you by default. It is possible for someone to be aware of their bad fruit but not think they can change their tree so they resent you for having good fruit and they don’t even realize it. All of this is possible.
In your lifetime, you will encounter people who hate you for no reason. Some will be aware of it, and some will not. However, what you have to remember is that any time someone hates you without a cause, what they really hate is something within themselves. Don’t ever allow yourself to get bent out of shape about that. Remember, a tree is known by the fruit IT BEARS, not the grass around it, the bushes next to it or the people who come to pick it. The tree isn’t even known for the fruit coming from the trees that are around it.
You are not responsible for how others feel about you. You’re responsible for you. Keep yourself together, love yourself, and just pray that those “bad trees” will be pruned or replanted or whatever it takes to make them good again. It’s possible, and if you believe it can happen, it will happen as long as that person is open to change and growth. Your focus, though, is making sure that your tree is good. That’s it. Does that excuse what others do? No. Does it mean you have to put up with it? Absolutely not. Because remember - one bad apple spoils the bunch. If a good tree gets tangled up with a bad tree, it’s more likely that the bad tree will corrupt the good tree than it is that the good tree will overtake the bad tree. Why? Because everything about the bad tree is bad, so the good tree would have to literally deplete itself to keep itself good and make a whole separate tree good too. As you will learn in tomorrow’s podcast, that is not our job at all. You have one job: keep your tree good.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
About twelve years ago, Lady Apostle Sharon Edmond preached a sermon called “I Will Not Be Affected by Small Minds”. Of all the sermons she has ever preached, that one stood out to me then and it still does to this day.
It is so easy for us to allow ourselves to be affected by what others think. How many times have you pushed a dream to the back burner because of someone else telling you that they had failed at what you were about to try? How many times have you failed to go after an opportunity because someone else told you (directly or indirectly) that there was no need for you to do so?
I don’t know if you’ve seen the movie “Fences”, but in the movie, Denzel Washington’s character had been a baseball player. Things didn’t really work out for him, so he came back home to live a normal life, and his son came along and eventually wanted to play ball. You would think this would have been met with excitement and encouragement, but it wasn’t. It was met with much opposition. If you haven’t seen the movie, I won’t spoil it for you, but let’s just say that Denzel’s character wasn’t having it. Why? Because he couldn’t see past his own failure. His mind hadn’t enlarged enough to be able to accommodate the thought that his son could and should go on to be better and greater than him. His mind was closed and wrapped around his own failures, so he couldn’t imagine his son having success.
How many times have we seen this? How many times have we seen people do all that is within their power to stop their kids from leaving the small town they grew up in just because they never made it out of the small town? Now there is nothing wrong with living in a small town, but there IS something wrong with using your words and actions to manipulate situations to keep people there when there is success waiting for them somewhere else.
I’m telling you now: Don’t allow yourself to be affected by small minds. Small-minded people will have you sitting down on your gifts and running away from your dreams. You have to love yourself enough to know when it’s time to say “Mom, Dad, Cousin, Friend or whoever - I appreciate you taking the time to share your opinion, but I’m going to go for it because I KNOW I will be successful.” Don’t be the person who is bitter in their older days because they didn’t take advantage of opportunities in their younger days. Don’t be the person who gets trapped in a dead-end job because you didn’t want your family to think you were trying to be better than them. You should be better FOR YOU. It’s not about them.
Say it with me: “I will not be affected by small minds”. Whatever you believe you can have, you can have it. Whatever you believe you can do, you can do it! Remember that.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
If you’re familiar with the Bible, you know that David was a very interesting character. He was chosen for the throne although he didn’t fit the mold. He was wise and strong beyond his years. He was hated because of his strength and confidence in God. Sound familiar? I’m sure. I know I can definitely relate.
When David had anything on his mind, he would write psalms. Psalms are sacred songs. David wrote a psalm during a time in which he was being hated and plotted against. Let’s dig into it. Psalm 64 to be exact.
O God, listen to my complaint. Protect my life from my enemies’ threats. Hide me from the plots of this evil mob, from this gang of wrongdoers. They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their bitter words like arrows. They shoot from ambush at the innocent, attacking suddenly and fearlessly. They encourage each other to do evil and plan how to set their traps in secret. “Who will ever notice?” they ask. As they plot their crimes, they say, “We have devised the perfect plan!” Yes, the human heart and mind are cunning. But God himself will shoot them with his arrows, suddenly striking them down. Their own tongues will ruin them, and all who see them will shake their heads in scorn. Then everyone will be afraid; they will proclaim the mighty acts of God and realize all the amazing things he does. The godly will rejoice in the Lord and find shelter in him. And those who do what is right will praise him.
David found himself in a precarious situation. Although he loved and trusted God, he became a bit overwhelmed by the hate he was receiving. You know how it is when you feel like you were “picked out to be picked on”. David never asked to be chosen. He was minding his own business when God sent the prophet to anoint him to be King.
Now let me pause and say this: Although I understand the concept of “haters”, I think that word has been so overused and saturated that we all should be kinda over it at this point. Yes, there are people who hate on us for whatever reason, but we really have to be careful about how much time, attention and energy we give to those we consider to be our “haters”. I’m going to demonstrate this in this episode.
David begins his plea to God by asking that God allow him to remain hidden. He talked about how people were plotting against him. He explained what they were doing… But then, he went back to what mattered the most: God was going to handle it. All David had to do was to remain hidden.
In life, we often try to fight battles that aren’t ours to fight. God will hide us by telling us not to scroll social media for a few days, and we will feel the need to defend ourselves so we’ll get on social media only to be met by what people are saying about us. God will hide us by not allowing us to be available when certain people call, but we will pick up the phone and call them back and allow them to contaminate our spirits with their “junk”. It’s kind of like when a fight is about to break out and your friend tells you to hide behind him/her and you step out from your hiding place right into the heat of the battle.
Let me share something with you. Sometimes, it’s just best to stay hidden. One of my favorite sayings is only three words, but it’s so powerful: “God handles all.” ALL. If God hides you from it, it’s because God is handling it. Being hidden doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re valuable. It means that what you have within you is too precious to be poured out over things that do not matter. It means that what is in you is an investment that will be made good in time. So when God has you hidden, stay there. Trust me on that one. I attribute a lot of the heartache I’ve experienced to the fact that I did not allow myself to stay hidden. I’m not telling you to shrink down or be a coward - that’s something altogether different. But when God hides you… stay hidden. Stay protected. Stay secure. If you do,
I’m gonna tell you a story from the Bible. Well actually, I’m gonna read it from The Message Bible. And then, I’m gonna tell you some tea about my life. Here’s the story: II Corinthians (which is SECOND Corinthians and not “Two Corinthians, by the way) 12:7-10 relays the apostle Paul’s message like this: “Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.“ There is soooo much goodness in this passage. Number one, Paul had seen a lot of things since he began to walk with God. However, the enemy of his soul had another plan, and that was to give him something that would hinder him. The Message Bible calls it a “handicap” and the King James Version calls it a “thorn” in Paul’s flesh. Can’t you relate? It’s the one thing that keeps you from being “perfect” in the eyes of society. It’s that one thing that seems to always come up to try to block your progress. It’s that one thing about you that you can’t get rid of but you wish you could. If you ask God to reveal it to you, it will be revealed.
Here’s the thing about this little situation. The passage of scripture references this thing as a “gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations.” Paul didn’t say “This thing was given to me and it made me worse.” He didn’t say “This thing was given to me and it ruined my life.” He was able to see the “thing” for what it really was. The enemy wanted to use it to kick up against Paul and make the way harder for him. And because of that, Paul asked that it be removed. He asked three times. But what did God do? God let him know that His grace was enough. He let Paul know that any time he is weak, God’s strength will come through. No matter what.
So what did the next part of the scripture say? It says, “Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.” The weaker you get, the stronger you become.
The more you exercise, the more your muscles break down at first. The more they break down, the stronger they become the next go around. What we see as limitations and hindrances, God sees as gifts to be expressed to the world. Think about people who have autism. Although they appear to be delayed in a lot of areas, they are complete geniuses in other areas. They have heightened senses, and they can perceive things and remember things in ways that we would have to work hard and even go to school to learn how to do. It’s amazing.
Today, I want you to remember something. No matter how old you are, no matter how much you have accomplished and no matter how much you love God, you WILL be given a thorn in your flesh. You will have something that will come into your life to try to handicap you. But you need to ask God what to do with it. I’m not even telling you not to ask God to take it away. Why?
We live in a day/time in which so many people feel that being “nontraditional” is a badge of honor. However, more often than not, it’s not that people don’t have any traditions anymore, it’s that they have created new traditions. And that’s great! I’m gonna give you an example.
I grew up having the traditional thanksgiving dinner. The whole family sitting at a table (or standing around the room in a circle) and talking about what they are thankful for. Turkey on the table, ham, cranberry sauce - you know what I’m talking about… The traditional American Thanksgiving. However, seven years ago, I spent Thanksgiving at the hospital with my grandma. It was actually the last time I would ever see her alive. Our family ate at a restaurant earlier that day, and then we spent the remainder of that day with my grandma. A little more than two weeks later, my grandma died. That canceled pretty much every holiday for me for the next few years.
It was so hard trying to figure out how to continue the family tradition without my grandma. Soooo instead of moping around all day every single holiday, slowly but surely, we created new traditions. Every year, my mom and I go to Myrtle Beach for Thanksgiving. We have fun going from attraction to attraction and then we end our day by having dinner at Captain George’s. It works for me because I’m a pescetarian, and it works for her because they still have the traditional Thanksgiving food. And of course we eat all the crab legs we can while we’re there. It’s just a win/win situation. So much so that this year, we even incorporated more members of our family.
Every Christmas, we go out to eat somewhere fancy and nice. I even created a tradition for my nonprofit organization. Every year, my organization chooses to be a blessing to a child (or set of siblings) who has lost a parent close to the Christmas holiday. I do that because I know how it feels to lose a parent during that time. It’s not easy at all. I give the child a grief coping coloring book as well as a toy and my contact information. Sometimes we give a whole lot and sometimes we give a little less, but we ALWAYS give. No matter what.
Life changes. Some of those changes seem bad, but all things work for our good. Life’s changes can cause us pain. Life’s changes will often upset our traditions. But I want you to remember something. You have dominion here. That means that you are here to rule. You are here to dominate. You have a choice to relive the hurt and pain of the holiday season (or any other season for that matter) by replaying and repeating old traditions OR to do like we did and create new ones. Just because mainstream America celebrates holidays a certain way doesn’t mean that you have to - especially if it’s painful for you. I’m not telling you to RUN FROM your pain, because as I told you previously, pain is one of the best indicators that we need to dig deeper. However, what I AM telling you is to be sure that you’re not taking yourself through pain over and over again when you don’t have to. And guess what? There were other people at Captain George’s when we went for Thanksgiving. There were people at the Hard Rock Cafe when we went there for brunch. There were people at the aquarium, there were people on the boardwalk… There were people everywhere. Creating new traditions. That’s the beautiful part of this thing we call life. We never have to be stuck.
As you go through this holiday season, remember that you can ALWAYS create new traditions. It may honestly be one of the greatest things you’ve ever done!
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
If you’ve been rocking with me for a minute, you KNOW how I roll. I like to look at things from a different perspective than what is considered to be mainstream.
Today, we are gonna talk about the ninety-nine vs the one. Now you are probably familiar with the parable that talks about how we should leave the ninety-nine and go get the one. The parable teaches us that one lost sheep is worth going after, and that we should not be so comfortable with the ninety-nine that we forget to go after the one. Now I wholeheartedly believe and agree with that in that context. But that doesn’t apply to everything. It just applies in that context, which is why that context was given.
Sometimes, we will take something we read or see and apply it to everything when it was never meant to be applied to everything. That is called taking something out of context. We do it often, and we really have to be careful. Let me explain.
In life, there will always be that one person who doesn’t like you. There will be that one person you will never be good enough for. There will be that one person who is never satisfied with anything you do. And oftentimes, we will get so caught up in trying to convert that one person that we will forget about the ninety-nine people who love and appreciate us just for who we are. We will spend hours and hours thinking about the one person who did not support us and totally neglect the ninety-nine who did.
This, my friends, is not good. It does a disservice to the people who really love and support you. It also gives the impression that you are not grateful to or for the people who do support you. It can be difficult to understand why those you love don’t give you that love back. It can be hard to understand why people don’t approve of what you do. It can be a challenge to get over how the one person you’d expect to support you doesn’t support you for whatever reason. However, you cannot allow that one person to become your focus when you have so many other people who love and support you.
Can I be transparent for a moment? I have spent the past three years of my life trying to get two people to support me the way that I have supported them. Three years. 1,095 days. I have talked over 1,700 people out of suicide. My podcast was listened to by over 300 people in the first month with no mass advertising. I have published a whole entire devotional that has blessed hundreds of people all over the world. I send out daily text messages to people in EVERY U.S. time zone. YET… I often become discouraged because a certain TWO PEOPLE don’t really support me. Do you understand how foolish that is? But can’t you see in your life where you have done the same thing?
And I get it. Please understand that I totally get it. However, just because I get it doesn’t mean that we should continue to behave in this manner. It is important that we focus on what we DO HAVE more than we focus on what we DON’T HAVE. Even God does that. Let me grab a bible verse. I reference the bible a lot because it’s one of the most relevant books I’ve ever read. It just always relates. To everything. All the time. Some people say it’s a collection of fairy tales. I disagree with that statement, but even if it were a collection of fairy tales, those fairy tales have helped me survive over 22 suicide attempts, so we’re just gonna roll with it.
I digress. The Apostle Paul was talking to the Church of Corinth about their giving. He said, “For if there be first a willing mind, it is accepted according to that a man hath, and not according to that he hath not. (2 Corinthians 8:22)“ What you do is accepted according to what you have and not what you don’t have - as long as you are willing. As long as your mind is made up. So. If God doesn’t look at what you don’t have when it comes to accepting what you give, why should you look at what you don’t have when it comes to what you appreciate?
If you follow me on Facebook, you may know that I did a live video last night about the power of agreement. I talked about how important it is to come out of agreement with the negative words that have been spoken over you either by yourself or others, and how important it is to not even come into agreement with those words in the first place. I’m not going to talk about the whole video, because I’m going to put it in my EMERGE course as a lesson this weekend. If you don’t know what EMERGE is, it’s a course that helps you develop healthy habits concerning your mental health and your relationship with God. It also helps you to dig deep and get rid of limiting beliefs that are keeping you in bondage without you realizing it. EMERGE is free until December 15th, and after that, it will be $27. If you want in, just go to my website and scroll down until you see EMERGE. Totally free for another seven days.
Back to last night’s video. I talked about how sometimes, we internalize negative things that people have said about us, and as a result, those things begin to play out in our lives. I gave an example of how the same thing can be presented to someone in a positive and negative light and how each one has a different effect. Here’s the example:
Let’s say you’re overweight. Friend A comes to you and says, “Man, I’m really concerned about you. I want you to think about how we can work together to lose this weight because I want you to live a long and healthy life and I don’t like to see you putting your health at risk like this.” Friend B says, “Man, you need to lose weight. You’re walking around here looking all fat and sloppy and nasty. No one is gonna want you looking like that. You think a job is gonna hire you looking like that? You look a mess. You need to lose that weight.”
If you internalize what Friend A says, you’re going to be motivated. You’re going to feel like someone loves you and is concerned about your health and wellbeing. You’re going to want to be better and do better.
If you internalize what Friend B says, you’re going to feel discouraged. You’re gonna see your current situation as an insurmountable mountain, and you’re going to feel bad about yourself, your appearance and your future.
See the difference?
This is why you have to be careful about what you receive into your inner being. Just because someone presents something to you doesn’t mean you have to receive it. Just because someone speaks a word over you doesn't mean that you have to come into agreement with it. When you come into agreement with words that are spoken, you establish those things as law. Be very careful with that. It’s perfectly okay to say, “I don’t receive that”. You can say it out loud to the person or you can say it within yourself. Your words have power either way. Always remember that. You don’t have to be what others say you are. There is truth in statements even when they are said maliciously. Both friends were telling the truth about the fact that you are overweight. However, you can receive the truth of something without receiving the baggage of the other person’s malicious intent. Got it? Awesome.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
If you know me, you know that I used to be completely bound by others’ opinions. I wanted EVERYONE to like me. I wanted EVERYONE to think I was doing a great job with everything I did. I wanted EVERYONE to clap for me, pat me on the back and tell me of my awesomeness. It bothered me when people didn’t like me. I would go out of my way to find out why they didn’t like me, and I would do everything in my power to try to change their minds. I would buy them things, I would do things for them - whatever it took to make them like me. It was horrible.
I thank God that I AM no longer in that place… but I’m going to tell you something I have learned along the way. By the way, this month is always a month of reflection for me, so I’m going to be telling you guys about a lot of lessons I have learned in these last few seasons.
Listen very carefully: The people who have the absolute most to say about you and your life are unhappy with themselves, and they seek to resolve their unhappiness by forcing you to conform to their thoughts/opinions about who you should be because of their inability to conform to their thoughts/opinions about what they should be. You don't even have to entertain that. Do you. Be you.
Let me break it down. The people who seem to be obsessed with your life and obsessed with telling you what you should do and how you should do it all the time… The people who feel like it is their God-given assignment to criticize everything about who you are and what you do - those people are unhappy with THEMSELVES. They are UNHAPPY with who THEY are. Therefore, they try to find ways to make themselves feel better about themselves. They don’t like who they are. They don’t like what they have become. They don’t like the choices they have made. They don’t like where they are in life. So, what do they do? They project that onto you. They try to make you be what they wish they could have been. They try to make you feel bad about being you because they feel bad about being them.
Let me tell you something. You don’t have to entertain it. You don’t. I’m not telling you to disrespect anyone or hurt their feelings intentionally, but what I AM telling you is that you don’t have to entertain anyone who is projecting their hurt and disappointment with themselves onto you. I don’t care if it’s your mother, your best friend, your dad, uncle, cousin or whoever. You DO NOT have to allow anyone to constantly criticize your every move. Constructive criticism is a whole different animal. It’s necessary. But criticism just for the sake of making the criticizer feel better about him/herself? Nah. You don’t have to partake in that. Not today, not ever. Remember that. Stand in your power and don’t let others take you through unnecessary warfare. You don’t have to. Be free from that.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
Obedience is something a lot of us have a problem with once we get older and consider ourselves to be “grown”. We don’t want anyone or anything telling us what to do. I mean, I get it. You paid your dues. You obeyed whoever raised you. You obeyed your teachers. You obeyed your coaches. You obeyed your family members. Now that you’re grown, you just want to “do you”. I get it.
However, no matter how old you get, no matter how many bills you pay, and no matter how high you climb on the corporate ladder or any other ladder for that matter - there is still someone you should try your best to obey - and that’s God.
Now let’s be clear: God is not a slavemaster. God is not a taskmaster. God is not a dictator. God is not any of what many people have confused God to be. God is the voice that speaks to you and points you in the right direction. God is the One who makes sure that all things are well even when it doesn’t feel like all things are well. Therefore, it is very important to obey God’s voice.
Some would argue that we have to be taught to hear the voice of God. I disagree. I don’t think you have to be taught TO HEAR the voice of God. I think you have to be taught (or encouraged) to remember that you ALREADY KNOW the voice of God. The voice of God is the first voice you ever heard. Even before you heard your mother’s voice, you heard the voice of God. It’s the first thing you ever heard and the last thing you’ll ever hear. Whether it comes across sounding like you, your mom, your grandma, your pastor or whoever - the voice of God is a distinct voice that you will hear if you just listen.
Obedience to God’s voice will always benefit you. Oftentimes, it will benefit others as well. I’m gonna give you a tangible example. Nine or ten years ago, I was homeless. Homeless. No home. I didn’t really know what to do. I didn’t know how I was gonna make it. I didn’t know how I was going to eat or where I was going to sleep. But you know what? I ate every day. I had everything I needed to make it through each day. And it wasn’t because of the people I reached out to and expected to help me. It was because those I would’ve least expected to help me heard from God and obeyed. I would wake up and God would tell me where to go and someone would feed me. God would tell me who to call and they would have things for me. Many people had no idea why they were helping me, but God knew.
So think about this… The next time God tells you to give something to someone, that may be the only thing they will have access to that day. The next time God tells you to reach out to someone, they may be somewhere depressed or contemplating suicide. The next time God tells you to pay for the person’s meal who is behind you in the drive-thru, they may have been about to spend their last little bit of money on their food. God knows all, and God’s voice will never lead you wrong. Please obey God. Someone else’s life could very well be depending on it.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
My mind goes back to December of 2010. It was cold outside, and Christmas was definitely in the air. I was on my way to a pizza party that I was throwing for the youth choir at my church (at the time), and I got a phone call. Long story short, my grandma (who raised me and was literally my best friend) had passed away… ten days before Christmas. You already know how it goes. I was devastated, and it basically cancelled Christmas for me. Every time I heard Christmas music, I cried. EVERYTHING brought back memories of her. It was terrible. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to endure… but I endured it. I made it through.
If you’re listening to this podcast or reading this blog post, you are more than likely experiencing the first holiday without someone you hold dear to you heart. Maybe it’s not your first one. Maybe it’s your second. Or third. Or twentieth. Regardless of the number, please know that my heart, thoughts and prayers are definitely with you. At the end of this blog, I’m gonna post some additional resources that will help you through your grief process. The process is different for everybody, so don’t ever feel bad if your grief doesn’t line up exactly with any of the resources you read. It doesn’t have to. You are an individual having an individual experience. That’s perfectly okay.
Now, on to the business. I want to share with you a few things that will help make things easier for you during the holiday season. If you have additional coping methods to share, please feel free to do so in the comments.
Number One: Realize that it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling.
We are often made to believe that “negative” emotions are “bad”. Showing any type of remorse or sorrow or general sadness is often looked at as a “weakness” or something that we should not possess. Please allow me to dispel that myth and hammer some truth on top of that lie. It is perfectly okay to miss your loved one. It is perfectly okay to be sad about the fact that your loved one is no longer here in the physical realm. It is perfectly okay to not feel your best. It’s okay. Those feelings are natural. Should you drown in them? No. Should you use them as an excuse to treat people badly or make people pay for how you’re feeling? Absolutely not. However, it is perfectly okay to have feelings of loss, sorrow, sadness, etc. You’re a human being with a heart full of love. Don’t beat yourself up about how you feel. Of course your loved one who has gone on would want you to be happy, but I also believe that your loved one would also be understanding of the fact that grief is truly a process. I can’t imagine leaving this physical plane and NO ONE missing me. That would be terrible. It’s good to have lived a life that causes people to miss you when you’re no longer here. That’s an amazing accomplishment. Don’t be too hard on yourself about how you feel. It’s okay. And if you’re overly happy (genuinely), that’s okay, too! It’s okay to want to enjoy yourself and have a good time in spite of your loss. That’s okay. That brings me to my next point, perfectly.
Number Two: Allow your emotions to remain IN MOTION.
Emotions are meant to show us where we are and how we are really perceiving and dealing with what is going on in our lives. Our emotions are our teachers. They show us how we react to things. They show us what is near and dear to us, and what has the power to affect us. There is nothing wrong with having emotions – they are a part of our nature. The problem comes in when we do not allow our emotions to remain in motion. When we don’t let our emotions stay in motion, we begin to act out of character. We begin to live in our emotions and not in the place of peace and balance that we were created to live in. When you feel those waves of sadness, feel them. Feel them deeply. Pay attention to how you’re feeling and why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling.
Today’s episode is about the enemy in the INNERme. If you know anything about me, you know that I believe that all is a reflection of self. I believe that the way you feel about others serves as a mirror to reflect yourself (your thought patterns and pathology) back to you. I’m going to talk about this topic using several subjects, but today, I’m going to talk about enemies.
Now. Let me be very clear: In life, we absolutely have people who are against us. We have people who speak against us, pray against us, and do all they can to ensure our downfall. Make no mistake about that. But, I’m not hitting it from that angle. You knew that, though… right? Good. What I want to talk about today is people who are ALWAYS suspicious of everyone. Now this may be you, or it may be someone you know. Either way, here’s the tea:
No one can ever be “out to get you” unless you are out to get yourself. I know that there are people who want me to fail. I know that there are people who speak against my success. I know that there are people who manipulate situations so that the way will be harder for me. BUT. None of that has anything to do with me. That is a war that they are fighting within themselves that they are attempting to project onto me. However, they can’t project their inner turmoil onto me because I do not allow them to.
Next. We don’t ever wrestle against flesh and blood. So. Any time you feel like everyone is out to get you, what you are really feeling is an outward manifestation of an inner trait YOU possess. You perceive everything in your reality from withIN. You don’t really see with your eyes only. Your eyes are like windows that allow light in, and your brain processes that light and tells you what you’re seeing. That’s why you can still “see” things with your eyes closed. Everything you “see” is really being processed internally. That’s why people can see that dress on social media and perceive it to be two different colors. Our eyes are made the same, but we still see differently. What you are seeing when you feel like you are a victim 100% of the time is an outward manifestation of the fact that you have victimized yourself. You have told yourself that you are a victim, so victimization is all you see.
Okay, let me prove it. Tell yourself that you want a Honda Accord. Envision it in your mind. Go outside and drive around. You’ll see more Honda Accords today than you saw yesterday. So do you actually think that all of a sudden today, there are more Honda Accords? Absolutely not. You just see more of them because of what you told yourself. See how that works?
Defeat the destructive part of your INNERme, and you will stop being in turmoil about enemies. The average person would consider Judas to be an enemy of Jesus. However, Jesus still rocked with him every day because He understood the TRUTH of the fact that NO ONE could truly destroy Him. Even if they destroyed His temple, He would just raise it back up again. These people who smile in your face but want to take your place are a part of your growth and development. You are not in danger as long as you walk in God’s safety. What is God’s safety? It’s the knowledge of who God is and the knowledge of who you are. Work on the inner me, and watch God shift how you view your enemies.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
Today’s episode is about one of my closest friends, Bianca Withers. A lot of you who know me may remember her, but for those of you who don’t, I’m going to briefly give you the historic tea.
I met Bianca when she was fourteen. She reached out to my pastor at the time, and because I had a social network for kids called “Land of the Conquerors”, my pastor at the time referred her to me. We talked and talked and talked, and over time, we became very close. We are nine years apart, so she became my little sister and I became her big sister.
Bianca was a very complicated being. I could relate to her though, because we literally had the same life - I had just lived mine first. I had gone through most of what she had gone through, and because of the lives we’ve had, we would often find ourselves going through the same things at the same time. Bianca was the ONLY person in the world (at least the only person I’ve met) who could TRULY understand what I felt inside - it was like she was the younger me and I was the older her. The only difference was that she was a little more vocal and extreme than I had ever been.
Earlier in the year, this proved to be a real problem for me. I found myself not really being able to comfortably handle the things I saw her saying and doing. I loved her still, but I felt like she was expressing things that should not have been expressed in the way she was expressing them. So… like I had done a couple of other times, I took a break from her. It was only supposed to be a short break, but things changed.
On March 23, 2017, I got in my car and headed to a service my current pastor was preaching at. Something just didn’t feel right. The whole time I sat in church, something didn’t feel right. I came home only to get a message that Bianca had died. I thought it was a joke. Not Bianca. We were just taking a break. Not my little sister. She had so many plans. We had so many things we were going to do. She wasn’t supposed to be taken out in a matter of moments in a head-on collision. This wasn’t supposed to be life.
My heart was shattered. And today, what I’m realizing is that my heart is still shattered. I look back on all the ways I could have poured into Bianca and I think about how caught up I was in my own stuff, in trying to please other people who didn’t care about me at all… I think about how Bianca lived thirteen hours away and she came to my state and I didn’t go to see her. I never met her in person but if you have been my Facebook friend for a while you know that we were close like we saw each other every day. By the time I made it to Arkansas, all I had left of her was cross on the side of the road, her book that she wrote, and a few other items placed at the scene to remember her. So, I wrote a note that said, “Bianca… I’m sorry that I was too late.”
I know a lot about death. I know that when you die, you are okay. I know this because when I almost died during two suicide attempts, I was perfectly okay. I have studied death and I know a lot about it. But… what I grieve for when it comes to Bianca is the life she could have had. The hearts she could have touched. The people who would have been totally changed by her story. I don’t know that I will ever understand it… but I said ALL of that to say this.
Be very careful with the people that God has placed in your life. I don’t think it’s my fault that Bianca died. I don’t know that any of my decisions would have changed anything had I decided differently. But what I DO know is that when God entrusts you with someone, you have to be sure that you do 100% of what you are supposed to do for them. Because if you do not, there will come a day when you will be reminded, one by one, of the things you should have done.
Lisa Nichols was interviewed, and she told a story about how she gave her son a raw egg and told him to run around the kitchen with it. Every time he would run,
Distractions. Today, we’re gonna talk about healthy distractions AND unhealthy distractions. I believe in balance, so I’m gonna give you both. According to our good ole Merriam-Webster dictionary, a distraction is “an object that directs one's attention away from something else”
One thing we’re gonna have to do if we are really gonna crush the rest of this year is pay attention to 100% of our distractions. You know how it is… You get on Facebook to check your notifications. You scroll a little bit. Something catches your eye. You click on it. Then you go back and finish checking your notifications (which you now have more of, by the way), and then you refresh your feed (or it refreshes on its own) and scroll some more. Before you know it, thirty minutes have gone by… and then an hour… and then a whole day. Unhealthy distractions.
It is so important to be mindful of what distracts you. It’s the only way to effectively win at this thing called life. If you are not aware of what is distracting you and keeping you from reaching your goals, you will continue to waste tons of your time and not even realize it until the time is already gone. The first thing I encourage you to do is make a list of the things that distract you so that you can be mindful of when you find yourself indulging in them. Once you write them down, label them as healthy or unhealthy. We haven’t covered healthy distractions yet, so let’s go.
I have a little cousin named King. I call him “BoomBoom”, and I have called him that since he was a few days old. BoomBoom is a healthy distraction.
There are times that things happen in my life that I just can’t control or change. There’s literally nothing I can do about some of the things I’m currently dealing with… and if I’m not careful, I will find myself laying around and moping about these things. Enter BoomBoom. When I feel like this, I get in my car and I drive to see BoomBoom. Why? Because he takes my attention away from the things I can’t control or change, and he reminds me to have fun. He reminds me to laugh. He reminds me to just enjoy life and know that I AM always taken care of, even if I don’t see what is going on behind the scenes. Even though he is a whole entire toddler, I consider BoomBoom to be my very best friend - and if you follow me on social media, you will quickly see and understand why.
We NEED healthy distractions. They are a necessary part of life. Believe it or not, unhealthy distractions play a role too - they show us how to more effectively manage our time. Today, I really want you to pay attention to what distracts you the most. It could be a relationship, a social network, a website, a situation in your life - whatever it is, make a note of it. AND THEN, I want you to come up with a plan for how you are going to deal with that distraction when it creeps up on you. If it’s social media, there are plugins that will block certain social media sites for a certain amount of time so that you can get work done. Remember that there’s always a way out. Let me give you one of my favorite scriptures: I Corinthians 10:13. I’m gonna read this in the New Living Translation: “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.”
We are all tempted to give in to our distractions. All of us. However, we are all given a way out. All of us. Remember that! If you need help handling your distractions, just hit me up! I’m here to help.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
It’s December, fam! I cannot believe we are in the last month of the year. Soooo much happens in December. The shopping, traffic, holiday shenanigans - you name it. Because of all that goes on, it is so easy to lose sight of the fact that the year is closing.
I want to ask you something. Did you make a New Year’s resolution? Did you write down a list of goals back in January? If you did, have you met all of them?
So many times, we will get discouraged and think that because the year is almost over, there is no need to try to accomplish any of our untouched or unaccomplished goals. We say stuff like, “Well I’ll just start next year.” Why put off until next year what you can do this month? You may only have a month, but a month is enough time for you to at least lay a few bricks on your goals.
Procrastination is a terrible thing. It’s a thief of your time. It’s a thief of your momentum. It’s also a thief of your increase. The more you put things off, the less likely you are to get things done. I’m here today to tell you to STOP procrastinating. We are in the home stretch!
Let’s put it into perspective. Today is December 1st. Yesterday was November 30th. Other than knowing that today starts a new month, does today really feel any different than yesterday? Think about it. So many times, we use days on a calendar to box us in - but technically speaking, you have the power to start a new year TODAY.
Do you think God is sitting around saying, “Well, it’s December, so I guess it’s too late to fulfill those promises I made.” Absolutely NOT! God can come through on December 30th and make your whole year worth it. Facts. If God can do that for you, don’t you think you should do that for you? Don’t you think you should go back and get every vow you made to yourself and find a way to make good on it? That’s what Na’Kole is gonna be doing.
Don’t put off to 2018 what you can do (or at least start) today. Don’t put off to another year what you can do in this year. Make good use of your time because as we know, not even the next moment is promised. If you need some time management or goal-setting strategies, feel free to reach out and let me know. I’ll be glad to send you some resources.
Let’s finish strong. We owe it to ourselves to do so!
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, I talked about God’s endless love. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Thirty’s topic: Now.
We are at the last day of our 30 Days of Gratitude, and I’m so grateful for you sticking with it! I pray that even though this series of podcasts is over, we will all continue to be grateful for everything we have been given and everything we have endured.
As I told you a couple of days ago, I have some really amazing content planned for December, so be sure to check back in daily for lots of tea, encouragement, love and laughter! Now let’s close this thing out with Day 30 from my devotional. “On the way to Jerusalem he was passing along between Samaria and Galilee. And as he entered a village, he was met by ten lepers, who stood at a distance and lifted up their voices, saying, ‘Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.’ When he saw them he said to them, ‘Go and show yourselves to the priests.’ And as they went they were cleansed. Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and he fell on his face at Jesus' feet, giving him thanks. Now he was a Samaritan. Then Jesus answered, ‘Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?’ And he said to him, ‘Rise and go your way; your faith has made you well.’”
Luke 17:11-19 (ESV)
~ Today’s Declaration ~ NOW is the time. I am responsible for my life.
YOU DID IT!!!! Today is the last day. You did it. I can't tell you how proud I am of you. I am so so so so proud! I could cry! I am sitting here smiling at the thought of you getting through all of these stories, scriptures, lines on the paper, all of it. I am SO PROUD of you.
Thank you SO MUCH for sticking this out. Thank you SO MUCH for doing the work. I appreciate it, and I know your soul appreciates it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Now… Now. Now is the time to move forward. This is it. There's no better time. Now. Right now. Put one foot in front of the other, and keep going. You can always refer back to this book any time you get ready - and as a matter of fact, I encourage you to. I recommend it. You'll be surprised by how much you've grown.
Listen. Jesus went to a village. He saw the lepers. They asked for mercy. He simply told them to go and show themselves to the priests. The Bible says that they were healed AS THEY WENT. They had to make steps. They had to start walking. ALL OF THEM were healed. ALL OF THEM. However, only one turned around, went back to Jesus, and thanked Him. Guess what he was? Yep. A Samaritan. Remember? Yes indeed. A Samaritan. Amazing.
You don't owe me anything. I just ask that you let the way you LIVE be your "thank you". Let your LIFE be your praise to God. YOUR faith made you well. It wasn't my doing. You should feel so good! YOU DID IT! Wow. YOU DID IT! Celebrate! Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, I talked about doing what God gives you to do, and doing it with all of your might. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Twenty- Nine’s topic: Endless Love.
Honestly, this has been a very trying season for me. I have learned even more that no matter how much you try to vet people who want to be friends with you, some enemies of your destiny still slip through the cracks. This caused a lot of sadness at first, but more than anything, it prompted me to use more caution and discernment when dealing with people. I still love and I still trust, but I will not ever allow myself to be put in those types of positions again. I’m grateful that this life is all about lessons. I don’t beat myself up about mistakes, because mistakes have taught me how to be a better me. It’s all good, always.
Today’s excerpt from my book is very encouraging to my heart, and I hope it will encourage your heart as well. It’s a short excerpt, but it’s very impactful. Here we go!
“It is he who remembered us in our low estate, for his steadfast love endures forever; and rescued us from our foes, for his steadfast love endures forever; he who gives food to all flesh, for his steadfast love endures forever. Give thanks to the God of heaven, for his steadfast love endures forever.” Psalm 136:23-26 (ESV) ~ Today’s Declaration ~ I will ALWAYS be loved by God.
If there is one thing that will always amaze me, it is the love of God. You've got to think about it. There are at least one hundred billion GALAXIES. There are billions and billions of planets. God created ALL of that. There are places in the ocean that have never been touched by any human or any type of manmade apparatus. There are places on this earth that have yet to be discovered. There are species of sea life that we still have yet to discover. There are things about our planet that we have yet to learn. There are species of animals that lived in the past that we are just now discovering. There are things in space that are literally millions of years away… and NONE OF THAT compares to the love that God has for you. That love is bigger than EVERYTHING. It's deeper. It's wider. It has been around longer. When everything is said and done, and what we know now is no more, that same exact love will be right there. It's a furious love. It's a never-ending love. It's powerful. It transcends time and space. It's bigger than everything you can imagine multiplied by everything you can't imagine. NOTHING compares to it. It's EVERYTHING. Literally. That love is reaching for you. That love is desiring you. That love is calling out to you. That love forgives you. That love accepts you. That love WANTS you. This is what I want you to do. Say, “God, tell me about Your love.” Listen... Write. Write what you hear. Write what you see. Write what you feel. That's your "Write it Out" for today. God loves you. ENDLESSLY. God wants you to have MORE. More of what will help you to succeed. More of what brings you joy. More of what heals you. More of what breaks your chains. MORE. ALL of that is in God. All of it. ALL of it. Learn to LIVE in that endless love. You can do it. One more day. We're almost there. I'm proud of you. So proud! Live. #iSpeakLife
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, I talked about the fact that when God calls us to do something, there will always be proof. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Twenty- Eight’s topic: With All of my Might.
The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 9:10 that “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going.” This scripture is very sobering. It reminds us that we won’t always be here in this physical form. It challenges us to make use of the time we have, and to make sure that we are doing all we can with what we have been given.
Let’s hop into my book. Today’s Declaration: I will do better. I will BE better.
Whatever your hands find to do… Do it with all of your might. There is NOTHING you can do from the grave. There's nothing you can do when this life is over. You don't get a do-over. You can't get up out of the casket and walk around and finish up your unfinished business. It doesn't work that way. Never has. You have an allotment of time that you're working with. It's important to get everything accomplished within that timeframe. Don't let your goals, dreams, and visions be buried with you. We have work to do.
If you were supposed to be gone, you would be gone. No matter what you have done, and no matter what you have tried, you are still here. There's a purpose in that. Don't let your pain be in vain. I always tell people: If you don't walk in your purpose, if you give up right here, you will NEVER know what your pain was for. You will NEVER know. Why would you want to sacrifice your whole life to be able to have a mansion and never get to see the mansion? That would be insane… but that's what we do every time we stay in our past and/or our place of comfort or lack. That's not what God has for us.
Writing this book has taken a lot out of me. I have cried. I have felt lonely. I have felt like there was no point in even completing this manuscript. I have had to fight the voice of the enemy in my ear time and time and time again… But here I am… right now… typing with all my might.
I was worried that people wouldn't buy my book. I was worried that those close to me wouldn't support my efforts. I was worried that I was wasting my time. But… You are reading my book. Right now. That one thing makes it worth it. It hasn't manifested yet, because I'm still here writing, but by faith I KNOW that this book will reach you, and I KNOW that you will benefit from it. So… with all my might, I'm writing. I'm tired, I want this to be over, but I am writing. I'm almost there. So are you. Keep going.
You may not be writing a book. You may be speaking. You may be blogging. You may be volunteering at the homeless shelter, opening a soup kitchen, researching, reading, interviewing people, saving money - WHATEVER it is… DO IT… with ALL… of your might. ALL of it. ALL OF IT. Someone is waiting.
Say it with me… You know what I'm about to say. I speak life. To your visions, to your dreams, to your purpose, to those who are waiting to meet you and hear from you…”
Here we are a year and a half later, and God has done even more than I could have imagined with my book. You may not even have a copy, but you’re sitting here listening to me read it to you. I’m grateful for that. I’m grateful for the time I have been given, and I’m grateful for what I have been called to do. I encourage you to be grateful as well, and whatever God has called you to do, I encourage you to do it. Don’t just talk about it. Don’t just dream about it. DO it.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, I asked a simple question: “What if I told you…?”. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Twenty- Seven's topic: My Proof.
Today I AM grateful for so much. I got to spend Thanksgiving at Myrtle Beach with my family, and I got to see the wonders of God’s creation every single day. I’m alive, I’m well, and I’m happy! I have so so so so SO MUCH to be grateful for.
I’m going to get a little personal today, and I’m going to talk about the proof I have that I AM called to do what I do. No matter what has happened in my life, no matter how many times people have doubted me and told me that I was unqualified and unfit to do what I’m doing - this one thing has served as constant proof that God is with me and that God has anointed and equipped me for every aspect of what I do.
You may feel unqualified sometimes. You may feel beat up by the constant criticism of others. You may find yourself stuck in the comparison trap that keeps you from seeing your own greatness because you’re blinded by others and what they are doing. However, just know that when God has anointed you, THERE WILL BE PROOF. Remember that.
Let’s get into today’s lesson. “Am I not free? Am I not an apostle? Have I not seen Jesus our Lord? Are not you my workmanship in the Lord? If to others I am not an apostle, at least I am to you, for you are the seal of my apostleship in the Lord.”
1 Corinthians 9:1-2 (ESV)
~ Today’s Declaration ~
There is somebody somewhere who is waiting to hear my story.
In 2012, I started digging into suicide prevention research. I ran across a story of a girl who had died by suicide after being severely bullied. As I began to put a conference call together to talk about suicide prevention, I ran across a young lady. She is a minor, so I won't mention her name. She mentioned on Facebook that she had attempted suicide the same night that the young lady had. God told me to reach out to her, and I did. Awkward! I did it, though.
I wrote her a nice note of encouragement, and then I went on with my life. Three months went by. I was heading to sleep, and God told me to reach out to her again. I said, "Nah, that's weird. I'm not doing that." I went to sleep.
AS SOON as I got to sleep, I began to cough uncontrollably. I was so irritated. God spoke to me again and told me to reach out to the young lady. Reluctantly, I did. I said what God told me to say. She wrote me back. She told me that she had been sitting there contemplating suicide, and had I not reached out to her, she probably would have gone through with it.
Every time God would tell me to reach out to her, I would. To the glory of God, she has gone from being a drug-addicted teenager who had to go to rehab to someone who has a GED and a job. Not only that, but she is working toward getting her high school diploma just because she wants to have it. Let me tell you something: You are not here by chance. NOTHING that you have gone through is by chance. ALL of it will help someone get out of what they're in. God is amazing.
Last year, my organization did a sock drive for homeless shelters in the area. This young lady sent me a Christmas card with a pair of socks in it, and this is what she said:
"Merry Christmas! Not much is going to be in this envelope, since they're small and I can't fit a lot into them. I'm sending a separate one with the rest. I know it's not a lot, but I hope it helps, even if it just helps one or two people. Happy Holidays!"
This. From someone I've never met in person, and would have never even known had God not told me to get online and do research about suicide prevention, which probably would have never even been a thought if I hadn't attempted so many times. It all works together. Remember that. What you have endured,
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about getting our minds right. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Twenty- Six’s topic: What If I Told You...
Not that you’re not a careful listener already, but I REALLY need you to listen to this podcast. This podcast has the potential to shift your entire life. Whether it does or not… is completely up to you.
From now until Episode 30, I’m going to be reading excerpts from my book, “I Speak Life: A 30-Day Journey from Suicidal Ideation to Victorious Living”. Next month, I’m going to be sharing lessons I’ve learned this year, and I will be sharing some hot tea about my life. I’ll also share how to survive holidays with family you aren’t fond of, as well as giving you tools to empower you to make it through the holidays when you’re grieving the loss of a loved one. December is gonna be full of lots of nuggets and gifts, so get ready!
Let’s get back to today. Are you ready? Let’s go. “Now there were four men who were lepers at the entrance to the gate. And they said to one another, ‘Why are we sitting here until we die? If we say, ‘Let us enter the city,’ the famine is in the city, and we shall die there. And if we sit here, we die also. So now come, let us go over to the camp of the Syrians. If they spare our lives we shall live, and if they kill us we shall but die.’ So they arose at twilight to go to the camp of the Syrians. But when they came to the edge of the camp of the Syrians, behold, there was no one there. For the Lord had made the army of the Syrians hear the sound of chariots and of horses, the sound of a great army, so that they said to one another, ‘Behold, the king of Israel has hired against us the kings of the Hittites and the kings of Egypt to come against us.’ So they fled away in the twilight and abandoned their tents, their horses, and their donkeys, leaving the camp as it was, and fled for their lives. And when these lepers came to the edge of the camp, they went into a tent and ate and drank, and they carried off silver and gold and clothing and went and hid them. Then they came back and entered another tent and carried off things from it and went and hid them.”
II Kings 7:3-8 (ESV)
What if I told you that the lepers surely would have died if they sat at the gate? What if I told you that the lepers got to eat and drink and carry off the treasures from the camp ONLY because they made a step? What if I told you that God orchestrated my life to be the way that it was so that I would sit on my couch on this day and write to you so that you could understand that you're not alone in this at all, and that God is with you? What if I told you that you have come further in the last twenty-six days than you have in the last year of your life?
What if I told you that I KNOW within myself that you are much different and in a much better place than you were when you first started this journey? What if I told you that you will do for others what God has used me to do for you? What if I told you that there was a purpose for all of your pain, and that even now, you are beginning to see the beauty in what God was developing in the darkness? What if I told you that God has empowered you to stand in boldness and bring healing to someone else? What if I told you that nothing you went through was in vain? What if I told you that from this moment on, you can do anything you put your mind to do?
What if I told you that despite your flaws, despite your shortcomings, and despite your insecurities, you are loved in a way that surpasses any and every good thing on this earth. What if I told you that God was smiling right now? What if I told you that the grace of God is wrapping itself around you, hugging you, holding you, and strengthening you for the days ahead. What if I told you that many people DIED in what you just came ...
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about setting aside a day just for you. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Twenty- Five’s topic: Getting Your Mind Right.
We are on the twenty-fifth day of our 30 days of Gratitude! I appreciate all of you for sticking it out, and I appreciate all of the wonderful feedback you guys have been giving me. It means so much to me to know that what God has given to me is blessing you all!
Today, we are going to talk about mindset. Mindset matters. I know that some of my listeners have already read my book, but I still feel the need to read these excerpts for those of you who haven’t read it. PLUS, repetition helps it all sink in.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Romans 12:2 (ESV)
~ Today’s Declaration ~
There is power in the words that I speak and the thoughts that I think, so I will speak and think with intentional precision and clarity.
Mindset is everything. Most of the people who go through the same cycles over and over do so because of their mindset. You can change your location, your job, your car, house, or anything else - if your mindset doesn't change, you will be the exact same person in that new location, on that new job, with that new car, house, and everything else. That's not what God wants for you. That's not what I want for you. That's not what you should want for yourself.
We know that scientifically speaking, our brain is our body's "computer". I like to say that our mindset is our life's "computer". Our mindset dictates so much that happens in our lives. When you are negative, you attract negative people. When you are miserable, you attract other miserable people. When you change your mindset and begin to think about success and prosperity, you attract people who can help you get there.
Before you blame anyone else for the lifestyle that you have, check your mindset. Before you blame anyone else for the way you feel, check your mindset. I can almost guarantee you that the two will go hand in hand.
This is our action plan to deal with our mindsets. Are you ready? Look at us! We're on Day 25! Wow!!! Home stretch! Okay - here we go. This is what we're gonna do:
Philippians 4:4-9
“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”
We're gonna do ALL of that. Every day, I want you to set aside time to think on things that are true. Honorable. Just. Pure. Lovely. Commendable. Things that have a spirit of excellence. Things that are worthy of praise. I want you to INTENTIONALLY think about these things - whatever they are. Watch your life begin to change even more than it already has.
Read God's promises to you. Find motivational quotes to read. Find noteworthy news stories to read. Read about people who are performing random acts of kindness. Read about people who are feeding the hungry and helping the homeless. Read about college graduates. Think about what you want to do in life. Read about someone who is already doing it.
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about what to do when people fail you. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Twenty- Four’s topic: Your Day.
As you know, this month’s episodes are all centered around two things: gratitude and my suicide prevention devotional. So, even if you don’t have my book, you have walked through the majority of it by listening to these podcast episodes. My prayer is that you have been blessed by the words you have heard, and that you feel encouraged and inspired daily! Having said that, let’s discuss today’s topic.
In my book, I give the readers a day to write about whatever they want to and to make their own declaration over themselves. In keeping with the spirit of that entry, I’m going to declare this day to be YOUR day.
Today, I want you to do something nice for yourself. It doesn’t even have to be anything major, although it can be. Just be sure to treat yourself in some way. The other thing I want you to do is to look at your life and really think about how awesome you are to have come through everything 2017 has brought to your life. You may not be where you want to be, but you’re here. And that, my friend, is a wonderful thing.
Today I speak life to you. I speak life to your dreams. I speak life to everything you allowed to die that should have never died. I pray that you realize TODAY that you ARE an overcomer, that you ARE more than a conqueror, and that you WILL make it through whatever adversity you’re facing today. If you want a better job, you WILL get one as long as you put forth the effort and expectation. The same goes for schooling, relationships and anything else. Hang in there. It’s gonna get better! Even if you think it’s the best right now, it’s still gonna get better!
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about how God reveals hearts. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Twenty-Three’s topic: When They Fail You. Another timely topic. Notice I didn’t say “IF they fail you”. I said “When”. Why? Because people will fail you. You will find yourself hurt and/or disappointed at least once in your lifetime because someone didn’t do what they should have done. It’s inevitable. However, in the midst of being failed by others, this is what we are going to focus on and be grateful for: There is absolutely NO failure in God. NONE. Trust me on that. I know things don’t always work out the way we want them to. I know we don’t always get exactly what we pray for - but there is still NO FAILURE in God. Zero failure. Today’s excerpt from my book is all about how to deal with the aftermath of being failed by someone, and better yet, how to prepare for it. Take a listen.
“Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed; he will answer him from his holy heaven with the saving might of his right hand. Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. They collapse and fall, but we rise and stand upright.
Psalm 20:6-8 (ESV)
~ Today’s Declaration ~ There is, there has never been, nor will there ever be ANY failure in God.
As you know, people will fail you. It's inevitable. Not everyone is who they say they are. Not everyone can do what they say they can do. Not everyone can be who they say they can be. It's not fun finding this out, but it is inevitable.
Having said that, it is important to have a plan in place to be able to effectively handle and recover from the times of disappointment we will face when dealing with others. It is important to make sure that we are prepared. That takes a lot of the sting out of the situation.
This is the more strategic portion of the devotional. By now, you have a good foundation of knowledge and encouragement. Now it's time to do some planning.
People WILL fail you. I PROMISE you. Just as sure as there are twenty-four hours in a day, someone is going to fail you. You can't let that take you off your course. You can't let that make you give up. You have to have a plan.
A good place to start is to make sure that you are not trusting in people to the same magnitude and degree that you trust in God. You have to always remember that you don't always hit the mark, and no one else will either. You have to KNOW this when dealing with people. ALL of your trust has to be in God.
There is a difference between trusting something and trusting in something. When you sit down, you trust that the chair will hold you. However, your ability to sit down isn't locked and tied up in that particular chair. That chair is not the only chair that can support you. There is always the possibility that the chair will buckle, fall, be wet, etc. That's how we have to be with people. They can be our friends, family, or whatever, and we can really trust that they are going to be there for us when we need them, but not to the point that our lives are drastically altered if they don't meet our expectations. The latter is not healthy at all.
A lot of my suicide attempts came from a misappropriation of trust. I expected people to be so much for me, and when they failed me, I felt like something was wrong with me. I had to realize that just as I'm not perfect, neither are they. As we come to the end of our thirty days together, it is important that you grasp this concept. Do all you can to get it in your head. Trust me. You'll thank me for this.
Today is the day that you use the "Write it Out" to create your action plan. Make it a good one! If you need help, feel free to reach out to me. I speak courage to you. I decree that God will anchor you in the fact...
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about secrets. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Twenty-Two’s topic: The Revealer of Hearts.
Another timely topic. Wow! I wrote this book almost two years ago, and it’s so amazing how God still allows these passages to come right on time. It’s completely amazing. Today, we are going to show gratitude for the Revealer of Hearts… and today’s excerpt from my book will help you to understand why.
“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7 (ESV)
~ Today’s Declaration ~
Today I let go of everything that doesn't serve a good purpose in my life.
Saul had been rejected by the Lord. Samuel was commissioned to go and anoint the next king. When he got to Jesse's house, he saw Jesse's son, Eliab, and thought he would be the next king. God wasn't having it, hence today's scripture passage. God doesn't see things as we see them. We see using our physical senses because we exist on the physical plane. God sees far beyond that.
I'll liken it to this: Do you remember that friend, boyfriend, or girlfriend you just LOVED when you were younger? Do you remember your mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, or someone older than you saying, "Nope. They're not the one. They're no good for you." or something of that sort? Do you remember how mad you got? Do you remember how you thought they just didn't know what they were talking about? You thought they were just hating on you. They wouldn't let you be great. Remember? But do you also remember how that person turned out to not be the one? Do you remember how that friend ended up being the total opposite of what you thought he/she was? Do you remember?
If it's like that with our earthly parents and family members, can you imagine how it is with God? God can literally see all the way through you. God can see the atoms bumping into each other. God can SEE. Seriously. God is the revealer of hearts. Don't ignore that. Don't ignore the small voice that says, "No, I wouldn’t do that. No, I wouldn’t trust them. No, that's not a good idea." Remember. God is the revealer of hearts.
Jesus knew that Judas was going to stab Him in the back. How did He know? Because God is the revealer of hearts. However, Jesus still had to do what He was here to do, even though He already knew how everything would go down with Judas.
When God shows you something, that doesn't mean that you always have to make a scene and issue a big "I'm cutting you off" announcement. That's not wisdom. If you keep reading in I Samuel 16, you'll notice that Samuel just moved on to the next son. That's all. He didn't go into a long monologue about how Eliab wasn't "the one". He just kept going on to the next one. That's what we have to do.
Trust that God sees and knows. Follow that quiet voice you hear within. It may sound like you. It may sound like a familiar voice. Regardless of how it sounds, if you belong to God, you know the voice of God. You wouldn't be reading this book if you didn't belong to God. So, that lets us both know that you know the voice of God. Trust it.
God, we thank You for being the revealer of hearts. Help us to trust Your voice. Help us to trust not only what You reveal to us about others, but ESPECIALLY what You reveal to us about OURSELVES.
Everything that isn't serving a good purpose has to go. Be led by God. Don't be led by your emotions. Don't be led by the desire to please others. Be led by God. Make the necessary adjustments, and keep going on to the next opportunity, the next door, the next level, and whatever else God has for you. It's okay. You can do it.
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about bullies and words. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Twenty-One’s topic: Secrets.
Today’s episode is so timely, you guys. You really have no idea, but you will. I want you to be grateful that your secrets don’t have the power to hold you hostage unless you give them that power. I want you to be grateful that you do not have to be bound by the things you cannot tell anyone. Let’s dig deeper by listening to today’s excerpt from my book. “And he said to them, ‘Is a lamp brought in to be put under a basket, or under a bed, and not on a stand? For nothing is hidden except to be made manifest; nor is anything secret except to come to light.’” Mark 4:21-22 (ESV) ~ Today’s Declaration ~ I will not allow secrets to run nor ruin my life. Secrets. They eat away at us. Every time we get ready to lift our hands in worship, they are there. Every time we get ready to move forward, they are there. When we meet someone new, yep - secrets are right there.
So many people have attempted and/or died by suicide because of secrets either being revealed or rising to the surface and almost coming to the light. It's a terrible thing.
Today isn't about telling all of your secrets. There are some things that I have experienced, done, said, etc. that I will NEVER tell. They will go with me to my grave, urn, the river, or wherever my remains end up. I will NEVER tell a soul. There are some secrets that I have HAD to tell in order to get free from the condemnation and shame surrounding them. It goes both ways.
I can't make the decision for you. It's not my place. I'm not telling you to tell anything, and I am not telling you to keep anything. What I'm telling you is that there isn't a single thing hidden that won't be revealed. That doesn't necessarily mean that all of your secrets will become known to the world. It means that your secrets will be revealed to YOU. YOU will have to deal with them.
There are things that happen in childhood that we "bury"… but have you ever noticed that the thing you thought was buried still comes up from time to time? It could come up when you hear a voice that sounds like the voice of someone who assaulted or molested you. It could come up when you smell a scent that reminds you of the person you had an affair with. It could come up when you hear a baby crying. There are so many ways that these things come up.
These things don't come up to torment us. That may be the enemy's intention, but remember that God's intentions will always trump the intentions of the enemy, and according to Jeremiah 29:11, God thinks thoughts of peace and not evil towards us. These things come up so that we can properly deal with them.
I encourage you to deal with your secrets. Even if it's no more than saying, "God, I did this. I am sorry that I did this. I forgive myself." or "God, I have been living in guilt and shame because this happened to me. Today I want to be free from that guilt and shame." - I encourage you to do that. I encourage you to free yourself.
Let me forewarn you: When you do this, the emotions WILL COME. Every emotion that you have held back in regards to these secrets WILL MANIFEST. You have to let them come. That's a part of the healing process. Don't just let them come, though. Let them come AND GO. Feel them… embrace them… tell yourself why you're feeling what you're feeling. Give it to God. It's gotta stay in motion. You can't sit still on any of those steps. You can't wallow in any of those emotions. You have to let them come and go. No matter how good or how bad they are, you have to let them come and go. That's the only way to get free.
I have faith that you can do this. It's going to be tough at times. You may even need to reach out to someone to help you through it....
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about being grateful that God is with you even when your pillar falls. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Twenty’s topic: Bullies.
I could really go in on this, but I’ll read today’s entry from my book instead. Otherwise, we’ll be here all day. “Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.”
Proverbs: 12:18 (ESV)
~ Today’s Declaration ~
I will not let anyone’s negativity affect my positivity.
As you know, I am the founder of an organization that deals with bullying. I see it every day. Kids are cruel. Teachers are cruel. Parents are cruel. Not all people are cruel, but we have to be honest about the fact that there are lots of cruel people in this world. Some of them bully others to make themselves feel better about their worth. Some bully others because they have been bullied before. There are so many reasons why people do what they do. None of the reasons justify the actions, but there is definitely no shortage of reasons.
Words hurt. That whole "sticks and stones" thing is a myth. You get over physical blows. Cuts heal... but words? Words endure long after the blood stops flowing. Words endure long after the swelling goes down. Words HURT.
I can't tell you that you won't ever be bullied again. I can't tell you that you won't ever be verbally abused. I can't tell you that you won't ever be pushed around (physically or with words) by those who feel like they are superior to you. If I did, I would be misleading you. Greatly.
However, I can tell you that the best way to counteract words is with words. As we see in this scripture, yes, there are people who will constantly say hurtful things. In the midst of this, you have a great opportunity. You have the opportunity to use wisdom and to use your words to bring healing.
You may think you don't know how to do this, but I'm pretty sure that you do. Even if you don't, let me share something with you. The Bible says in James 1:5 (New Living Translation), " If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking." There's no excuse for you to not be able to do this. Ready? Here we go.
For every negative thing that has been spoken over you, to you, and/or around you, you have the power within you to speak a word to counteract and cancel out what has been said. It HAS to work. It's law. If someone makes a cutting remark, but the words of the wise bring healing, that means that the words of the wise bring healing to the cutting remark, thus making the cutting remark null and void.
I do this every day. I could write a whole entire series of books about the things that have been said to me. That's why (and if you follow me on social media, you know this) I try my best and hardest to only affirm good things. I believe that what we speak over ourselves becomes law, and I refuse to legislate anything that is going to bring me down. That's that betrayal we talked about on Day 14. Make a decision today that even in the midst of those words that hurt you, you will stand in your power and speak something different.
I decree that every negative word that has been spoken will be canceled out by something positive that you speak today. I declare that you will no longer use your tongue to speak negativity into the atmosphere about yourself or others. I speak new life to the words that come out of your mouth. May they be words that edify and not words that tear down. I decree and declare that your words will begin to build a new life full of peace and prosperity for you and those connected to you. It takes work, but it can be done. It WILL be done. It SHALL be done. Start today. #iSpeakLife" Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT!
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about being grateful even in darkness. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Nineteen’s topic: When Your Pillar Falls.
When I sat down to write my book, this was most definitely the most difficult chapter. Why? Because it’s about the death of my grandma. To this day, I have never met a person who was as down for me as my grandma was. When no one else in the world had my back, she did. She was absolutely everything to me.
When she died, I thought my world was going to end. I KNEW she was gonna die. I knew she was gonna die on that day two months before she died. I wrote someone a letter and told them that my grandma was gonna die on December 15th. I knew it. However, that didn’t make it any easier. That was the greatest loss my life has ever felt - but the good thing is that it taught me that I can get through any other loss I’ll ever face.
In life, we have pillars. We have people, places and things that we really need. We have people who constantly and consistently support us, no matter what. We have places we can always go to unwind or make ourselves feel better. We have things that are always in place to help us along the way. However… Sometimes those pillars fall. And when they do, how you respond will make or break you.
In my book, I tell the story of Moses and Joshua. Moses served the Lord with all his heart and completed his assignment in the physical world, and then, he died. Joshua was his successor. Joshua had followed Moses for years, and now it was time for him to stand in his footsteps. This is how the New Living Translation of the Bible records it: “After the death of Moses the Lord’s servant, the Lord spoke to Joshua son of Nun, Moses’ assistant. He said, “Moses my servant is dead. Therefore, the time has come for you to lead these people, the Israelites, across the Jordan River into the land I am giving them. I promise you what I promised Moses: ‘Wherever you set foot, you will be on land I have given you— from the Negev wilderness in the south to the Lebanon mountains in the north, from the Euphrates River in the east to the Mediterranean Sea in the west, including all the land of the Hittites.’ No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you. “Be strong and courageous, for you are the one who will lead these people to possess all the land I swore to their ancestors I would give them. Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” - Joshua 1:1-9
God knew that Joshua was going to have a hard time adjusting… but when you understand how much God believes in you and is pulling for you, you have no choice but to move forward - and that’s exactly what Joshua did. His pillar fell, but he adjusted and walked into his new assignment. And today, I’m encouraging you to do the same. Whether it is the loss of a job, a friend, a family member or a place - just know that God is with you wherever you go. Today and always. That’s our one thing to be grateful for. Even when you walk through the valley by yourself, you’re not alone. Remember that… and be grateful. ♥
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about the point of no return. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Eighteen’s topic: Darkness.
We always get up and thank God for the light of day, a new morning, or something of that sort - and that’s a wonderful thing. We appreciate light. We associate light with good things. And that’s kool. However, today I’m going to talk to you about why it’s important to be grateful for darkness. And what better way to do that than to read what I wrote about darkness? Let’s go. “Darkness. We associate it with crime. We associate it with evil. We associate it with bad things and bad things. We fail to realize that God is in the darkness. The darkness isn't always there to harm us. Sometimes, actually, most times, the darkness actually works for your good.
Let me prove my point. You know that there is light at the end of the tunnel because it is dark in the tunnel. So, without that darkness, what significance would the light have? What would be the joy of getting to the end of the tunnel? I'll take us further. In the beginning, all there was… was God, an earth that hadn't been completely formed, a large amount of water… and darkness. That's all there was. God's Spirit was hovering over the waters… in the darkness. Out of that darkness, God spoke light. Out of that darkness… FROM that darkness… God spoke into existence everything that exists right now. That's amazing.
Let's get to the natural for a moment. Picture yourself standing in a room and looking at a beautiful photograph of the prettiest landscape you have ever seen. Now I'm gonna take us back a few decades before digital photography emerged. Let me tell you how that photo in that room was processed. The photographer took the photo. Then, he/she took it into a darkroom. Darkrooms are specifically created to keep light out. It has to be this way in order for the photographs to properly develop, and for the chemicals on the paper not to be "contaminated" by the light. Sounds totally backwards, right? But some of the best photos you have ever seen… were developed… in the dark.
What is God developing in your darkness? Who will you be when you emerge? Let me tell you about my darkness. During my darkness, God was developing me… giving me what I would need to run a suicide prevention, anti-bullying, and social advocacy organization. God was showing me how it felt to be rejected so that I could talk about it in this book. God was allowing me to be betrayed so that I could answer my phone and talk someone out of suicide after they had been betrayed. God allowed me to go through family issues so that I could tell you to keep going in spite of them. God was fortifying me and strengthening me so that when I came out of my season of being suicidal, I would be empowered to make it through writing this book.
Since I started this book, I have seen a lot of darkness. I have cried while writing this book because there are people I'd love to share it with that I can't even talk about it to because they constantly discredit me or act like what I'm doing doesn't matter. I've been overlooked time after time in many instances while I've been writing this book. I've been made to feel like my feelings don't matter at all when I've gone to loved ones and told them how they make me feel. It has been dark. But here I am, right now, sitting on my couch, listening to music… writing to YOU. Here I am. This book is being developed in darkness. Countless people will know that there is hope because of the darkness that I've experienced in my life. So I'll ask you again: What is God developing in your darkness?”
Since my book came out, I can’t tell you the number of people who have experienced real change in their lives. I can’t tell you the number of testimonies I hav...
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about the fact that it is not too late. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Seventeen’s topic: The Point of No Return.
I’m sure you know all about the point of no return. When you’re on a trip, there is a certain point in your journey where it would be pointless to turn around because you are closer to where you’re going than you are to where you came from. That’s where we are on this journey. You’re closer to the end of this thirty-day journey than you were when we first began. Not only that, but I wholeheartedly believe that you are closer to your destiny than you have ever been. It would not make any sense to turn around now.
Sometimes when we really launch out into the deep, it seems like all hell breaks loose. It seems like you were better off where you came from. Remember when the children of Israel set out for the Promised Land? They felt the same way. They felt like they were better off where they came from. They got weary on their journey. However, the only thing they could do was move forward. It would have made no sense to turn back. I’m gonna read an excerpt from my book, but I want to tell you why I’m grateful this morning. I’m grateful because I have come too far to turn around. I don’t have everything I want. I don’t even feel like I have everything I need. But I’ve made it this far. I made it further than people thought I would make it. I made it further than the enemy thought I would make it. And for THAT… I’m mighty grateful. Aren’t you?
Here’s the excerpt:
“Now there were four men who were lepers at the entrance to the gate. And they said to one another, ‘Why are we sitting here until we die? If we say, ‘Let us enter the city,’ the famine is in the city, and we shall die there. And if we sit here, we die also. So now come, let us go over to the camp of the Syrians. If they spare our lives we shall live, and if they kill us we shall but die.’ So they arose at twilight to go to the camp of the Syrians. But when they came to the edge of the camp of the Syrians, behold, there was no one there. For the Lord had made the army of the Syrians hear the sound of chariots and of horses, the sound of a great army, so that they said to one another, ‘Behold, the king of Israel has hired against us the kings of the Hittites and the kings of Egypt to come against us.’ So they fled away in the twilight and abandoned their tents, their horses, and their donkeys, leaving the camp as it was, and fled for their lives. And when these lepers came to the edge of the camp, they went into a tent and ate and drank, and they carried off silver and gold and clothing and went and hid them. Then they came back and entered another tent and carried off things from it and went and hid them.”
II Kings 7:3-8 (ESV)
Let me tell you about these lepers.
They were presented with an opportunity. They couldn't function among the citizens of the town, because they were LEPERS. They were unclean. They couldn't mingle with the regular people.
They were at the gate, and they had a decision to make. If they sat there, they were going to die. Hands down. No doubt about it. If they went to the city, they would die, because there was a famine in the city. They didn't really know what would happen if they went to the camp of the Syrians. It was possible that they would die there, too.
These lepers weren't born at the gate. Their journey had brought them to the gate. That gate life wasn't working for them, though. Sound familiar? You didn't just wake up one day and say, "Today I believe I'll struggle with suicidal thoughts. Today I'll try to end my life." You didn’t do that. You didn't just randomly buy this devotional because you had nothing better to do with your life. Your journey led you here.
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about what to do when you feel like you’re being suffocated by life. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Sixteen’s topic: Too Late?
For the past few days, I have really been being blessed by the passages from my book. Like… really blessed. So today, I’m going to tell you why we all need to be grateful that it’s not too late. Here we go. “Now when Jesus returned, the crowd welcomed him, for they were all waiting for him. And there came a man named Jairus, who was a ruler of the synagogue. And falling at Jesus' feet, he implored him to come to his house, for he had an only daughter, about twelve years of age, and she was dying. As Jesus went, the people pressed around him. And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, and though she had spent all her living on physicians, she could not be healed by anyone. She came up behind him and touched the fringe of his garment, and immediately her discharge of blood ceased. And Jesus said, ‘Who was it that touched me?’ When all denied it, Peter said, ‘Master, the crowds surround you and are pressing in on you!’ But Jesus said, ‘Someone touched me, for I perceive that power has gone out from me.’ And when the woman saw that she was not hidden, she came trembling, and falling down before him declared in the presence of all the people why she had touched him, and how she had been immediately healed. And he said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.’ While he was still speaking, someone from the ruler's house came and said, ‘Your daughter is dead; do not trouble the Teacher any more.’ But Jesus on hearing this answered him, ‘Do not fear; only believe, and she will be well.’ And when he came to the house, he allowed no one to enter with him, except Peter and John and James, and the father and mother of the child. And all were weeping and mourning for her, but he said, ‘Do not weep, for she is not dead but sleeping.’ And they laughed at him, knowing that she was dead. But taking her by the hand he called, saying, ‘Child, arise.’ And her spirit returned, and she got up at once. And he directed that something should be given her to eat. And her parents were amazed, but he charged them to tell no one what had happened.”
Luke 8:40-56 (ESV) ~ Today’s Declaration ~ I know that God is not finished.
I've told you a lot about myself over the last few days. Now, I'm going to tell you a little bit about two things that were happening at the same time in this passage of scripture.
Enter Jairus. He's upset because his daughter was dying. This was his only daughter, and you know how men can be about their daughters. He's begging Jesus to come and make everything alright with his princess. I can only imagine his distress as he approached Jesus. He had to be very sad, anxious, and maybe even a little angry.
Jesus is still walking, and there are people EVERYWHERE. The paparazzi had NOTHING on this. People were EVERYWHERE. Among the crowd, there was a woman who had been suffering with "female problems" for twelve years. She had spent everything she had. She had gone from doctor to doctor to doctor, and no one could help her. There she was, actively bleeding, walking in the crowd, trying to get to Jesus. I can imagine her saying that if she could just touch the hem of His clothes, she would be okay. She had just that much faith.
So she pressed through the crowd. I'm sure that people were laughing at her. They may have even told her that she was stinking. They may have spit on her… They could have even pushed her out of the way. She kept pressing. She kept pressing. Through all of the noise, the people, the sways of the crowd going back and forth through the streets… She pressed.
She made it. She touched His clothes.
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about betrayal. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Fourteen’s topic: Pillows Over Your Face.
In this portion of my book, I tell a story about when I was in high school and I was really attached to my friend’s mom. Everybody loved her. I told one of my friends how much I was gonna miss her and I said, “I think I’m lovestruck”. Now. I didn’t know that lovestruck meant to be in love with someone. Had no idea! But HONEY… They did. And by the time it was all over, it was all over the marching that I was a lesbian.
Honey. The lady wouldn’t talk to me. I was the talk of the band. They called me derogatory names. They mocked me all the way to the competition, the whole time I was there, and all the way back home. It was horrible. The good thing was that I found out what the word “lovestruck” really means. I clearly had no idea. I just thought it meant you really loved someone and it made you not want to be without them. You know, like I love BoomBoom (if you don’t know who BoomBoom is, just check out my social media).
Long story, short, I tried to kill myself over this stuff. I tried to suffocate myself, but my body would always react and struggle to breathe.
You may feel like this. You may be struggling to breathe. You may feel like one wrong move has caused people to turn against you and run your name in the mud. You may feel like life has given you no other option than to put pillows over your face… but let me tell you something. As a matter of fact, let me just read you this excerpt from my book.
“Listen to me. There is something within ALL of us that will fight for our lives. Even when people die by hanging, they often have marks around their neck from where they tried to escape the grasp of the rope or belt or whatever mechanism they used. As much as I wanted to die, God put something in me that wanted me to live. Science shows that we have a natural reflex that kicks in at moments like these. It's actually pretty amazing. I owe God my life because God spared my life so many times… God held it together for me when I didn't even think I wanted it to be held together. I'm grateful.
I know that being misunderstood is hard. Suffering betrayal is hard. Being lonely is hard. I know it is. It's hard having to cry every day. It's hard trying to get people to accept you. Being left out is hard. Being constantly criticized is hard. It's painful. Life brings us pain. Life can be almost unbearable sometimes. I know. I know… I know… But let me tell you something. GOD… has brought you entirely too far for you to give up.
Guess what! You have now completed half of this journey. You're still here. You have had some good days. You've had some rough days. You've wrestled with some things. But you are still here. You're still here! You can't turn around now. You CANNOT give up now. From here, it only gets better. I decree that for you. It will only get better. Even when it seems hard, you'll know that it's getting better.
Take those pillows off your head. Those pillows of doubt, shame, fear, unforgiveness, anger, bitterness… Get those pillows off of your face. You are supposed to put pillows UNDER your head. You are supposed to position yourself ABOVE them, and they are supposed to bring you comfort and help you to sleep with ease. Yeah, I doubted myself, but now I rest easy because I don’t doubt myself anymore. That season of doubt helped me to learn to believe. That shame? Yeah I'm over that. I rest easy at night because I know that I don't have to be ashamed of anything that I have endured. That's behind me. By the end of this book, I decree and declare that you will have the same testimony.
Come on… Let's go. We've got some LIVING to do. Are you ready? I think you are.
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about one of my suicide attempts. If you missed it be sure to check it out. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Fourteen’s topic: Knives in Your Back.
Wow! The tea I could spill when it comes to THIS! Honey, they will smile in your face, stab you in your back and then blame you for bleeding! Do NOT get Na’Kole started this good ole morning.
Betrayal is a terrible thing. It works for your good like everything else does, but it doesn’t feel good. We know that betrayal is what sent Jesus to the cross, but had it not been for that betrayal, the ultimate goal for Jesus’ life would not have been accomplished. That doesn’t make betrayal feel any better though, right? Right.
If you are ever in a situation that presents an opportunity for you to betray someone, remember how it felt when you were betrayed. Just because all things work for our good doesn’t mean that we should just go out betraying folks.
The pain of betrayal is real. It hurts when we think people are on our side and we find out that they had bad motives the whole time. It’s painful when we trust others with our secrets and we hear them out in the street. Betrayal is a painful wound that is inflicted upon the heart. There’s no denying that.
In my book, I talk about how Jesus is betrayed… but then I flip the script as I so often do, and I talk about how we betray ourselves. How do you betray yourself? You betray yourself when you go against what you know to do. You betray yourself when you’re not true to who you really are. We focus so much on others betraying us that we forget about how often we betray ourselves. Staying in relationships we know are not good for us? Betrayal. Eating things we KNOW we shouldn’t eat? Betrayal. Saying things like, “I’ll never make it”, “This will never get better”, “I’m a failure”, “I can’t do anything right”... Betrayal. Think about that for a moment. Think about all the times you have betrayed yourself. Just think about it.
Now that you’ve thought about it, go ahead and come out of agreement with those negative words. Go ahead and come out of agreement with the things you spoke over yourself. Go ahead and apologize to yourself for the times you betrayed yourself. Forgive yourself. Don’t beat yourself up, but definitely take a moment to acknowledge the truth of what you now know.
And now… Fill your space with gratitude. Be grateful that you are stronger because of what you have endured. Be grateful that the betrayal of others didn’t result in your demise. Be grateful that the times you betrayed others were forgiven. Be grateful that you now know not to betray yourself any longer.
Knives in your back are never good… especially when they come from you. You’re wiser now, though… so I thank God that you are moving forward. Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about how to be grateful for your family. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Thirteen’s topic: I-95.
Today’ I’m gonna testify. I’m going to read an excerpt from my book, and I’m gonna show you how amazing God really is.
“So… Today is the day that I give you a glimpse into one of my suicide attempts. NO shame. DISCLAIMER Please do not try this at home. This is my personal testimony, and I am sharing it strictly for that purpose. I will not be held liable for any attempt to replicate this situation or any other situation mentioned in this book.
Here we go.
I was nineteen years old. I was dealing with a lot of brokenness and rejection. I didn't seem to be good enough for anyone in my life, and I was constantly being verbally abused all in the name of "holiness" and "living right". I didn't seem to fit in, and I was constantly being stabbed in the back by people in my life, yet my need for love seemed to keep me going around the same circles with these same people… because hey, somehow, they really loved me… right?
I digress.
So, I was leaving a church service. I won't go into the details of what happened in the service, but let's just say that I was publicly bashed by several people. I was angry, hurt, disappointed, and so much more. I remember driving down the highway with hot tears streaming down my face, and I remember telling God that this was it. I was at the end of my rope. I had done all I knew to do, and nothing had worked. I had never felt so lost in all of my life.
I remember driving down the road and looking in the rear view mirror and seeing a silhouette of a man sitting in the back of my car. I'll never forget what I heard his voice say. He said, "You really should go into that oncoming traffic over there. No one will care. They won't even look for you. You don't matter to anyone but yourself." Over and over again, that's what I heard.
The tears grew hotter and fell faster… more and more… more and more. The voice intensified. I wanted to scream, but the scream never made it past my throat. My car started to go faster and faster. I wanted someone, anyone… to help me… but there was nothing I could say. My car went even faster.
I remember telling myself that the only way I'd be able to stop this fight in my mind would be to just end my life. I wasn't sold on the idea because I wondered what would happen if I died but the fight continued… so I kept driving. I looked down at my speedometer. 104 miles per hour. Driving down I-95.
I saw a weigh station up ahead, and I knew that a lot of transfer trucks would be coming onto the highway… I began to veer over from one lane to the next lane. I paid no attention to whether or not any cars were coming up behind me. I just changed lanes. From the far lane on my side, I just had to pick a good time to go over to the other side of the highway.
I remember thinking about everyone that I was about to leave behind, and all I could think about was the fact that so many people had treated me so badly… I was a KID. I didn't know what I was doing in life. I wasn't trying to hurt anyone. I wasn't trying to cause anyone any trouble. I just had a hard time figuring things out sometimes. That was all. More tears.
"Okay. This is it. Whatever happens, happens." I let go.
I let go of the steering wheel. I let go of my emotions. I let the tears fall. I let the screams come out. I begged God to forgive me and to let me "make it in" even though I was going about it in this terrible and catastrophic manner. My car began to shift to the left. I went over the rumble strips. I went into the shoulder. I went into the grass.
My car slowed down.
I pressed the gas…. I stomped on the gas pedal. My car kept slowing down.
You already know! We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about how to be grateful even when you find yourself asking why others don’t love you. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Twelve’s topic: Family.
Family, family, family. It always amuses me when people say that they have a dysfunctional family, because I don’t think I have ever seen a family that isn’t dysfunctional in some way. Maybe that’s just a sign of the times. Family can bring so much joy… and family can bring a whole lot of other stuff as well.
In my book, I talk about how we expect our family to be a different breed of people. We don’t expect family to disappoint us, hurt us, lie on us, mistreat us, etc. - but the fact of the matter is that your family members are people, too. They have the propensity to do any and everything anyone else has the propensity to do. What makes them family by biological definition is that they share DNA with you. Other than that, they’re just people, and they are no different than anyone else.
This realization helped me to shift my expectations when it comes to family. Yeah, they SHOULD do this and that because they’re your family, but they’re still people, and people don’t always do what they’re supposed to do. Changing my expectations of family members has been such a blessing to my life.
On this good Sunday morning, I am going to give you two things to be grateful when it comes to your good ole family members.
Number One: Be grateful that you can love people in spite of their flaws. And if you can’t do that yet, be grateful that right now, you have the opportunity to start. Remember that people love you in spite of your flaws. And if that isn’t humbling enough, just think about how much God loves you in spite of EVERYTHING you have messed up on. That will get you all the way together.
Number Two: Be grateful that you are your own person. So many times, people lose their identity within their family. They aren’t known as an individual, they are known as “one of the Smiths” or “John Lee’s daughter” or something like that. But remember that you are your own person with your own identity. That doesn’t mean that you’re not “one of the Smiths” or that you’re not “John Lee’s daughter”. Be grateful for your identity within your family, but also be grateful that your identity isn’t LIMITED to how you’re identified within your family.
Number Three: Be grateful that God makes all things new. You may have come from a long line of alcoholics. That doesn’t mean you have to be one or continue to be one if you are one. You don’t have to carry on the negative behavior patterns passed to you by your family. At any point in your life, you can say “It stops with me”, and God will empower you to turn that thing around. I’m a witness. You don’t have to be anything you weren’t originally created to be.
As you go throughout this day, remember that your true identity doesn’t lie within the bloodline of your family. Your true identity is found only in God. Honor your family. Love them. Cherish and appreciate them. Honor God. Love God. Ask God to show you who you REALLY are. You’re more than your family name. You make the name. The name doesn’t make you. Even if your family name is great, you don’t have to limit yourself to what your family has done. You can do more. You can go further. Family is a wonderful thing - just don’t let family change who you were created to be.
And as I shared in my book, stop being ashamed of your family members who aren’t doing what you feel they should do. Talk to them if you can, and pray that God will show them who they really are. Everything changes when you realize why you were created and who you were created to be. Everything.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT!
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about how to be grateful even when you really want to get back at people for what they did to you. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Eleven’s topic: Why Don’t They Love Me?
This topic is very close to my heart because I have spent a great portion of my life asking this question. I am one of the most loving and giving people you will ever meet. Seriously. Now you wouldn't know that by looking at me, because God is still moving in my facial expressions. But it seems like no matter how nice I strive to be, there are some people who still don’t love me. They love what I have to offer, they love what I give, but they don’t love ME. And sometimes, it really hurts. It hurts when you have people in your life who only acknowledge your existence when they want something from you, but they claim to love you. Trust me… I completely overstand.
However, one thing I always challenge you to remember is that your life isn’t about them. You’re not accountable for them. You’re accountable for you. And you’re an amazing person to be accountable for. You’re a wonderful, powerful and magnificent person to be accountable for.
So, in keeping with my good ole tradition, I’m gonna give you three things to be grateful for when you find yourself asking yourself why others don’t love you.
Number One: Be grateful that God loves you. Seriously. I know it sounds cliche, but be grateful that without any strings, restrictions or conditions, God loves you. God loves you every moment of every day. It’s the best love you could ever feel, and it’s sad that so many people never get to embrace the love of God because they equate the love of God to the love people show them (or don’t show them), and there is absolutely no comparison. God literally IS love. Nothing compares to that. Absolutely nothing.
In the podcast notes on my website, I’m gonna link a song written by Naomi Parchment called “You Still Love Me”. It’s a short, simple song, but it is tremendously powerful. Be sure to listen to it.
Number Two: Be grateful that when you don’t have anyone else, you have you. Think about it. You’re the only person in the world who has always been with you and will always be with you. So although we need relationships and love and support from others, when no one else is there for you, make sure you’re there. Be grateful for yourself. Love yourself.
Number Three: Be grateful for the people who DO love you. They may not love you the way you want to be loved (or even the way you feel you need to be loved) because everyone expresses love differently, but there are people who genuinely love you. Don’t allow the people who don’t really love you to overshadow the ones who do. And if no one else loves you, you know I do! But I’m sure there are people in your life who love you as well.
Don’t ever let others’ lack of love keep you down. You live in a universe that was literally built by love. Everything God created was created in love because God is love. Everything. Including you. So love yourself. Be good to yourself. The more you love yourself, the more you’ll see that love being reflected back to you.
Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others. Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
"You Still Love Me"
Hey there!!! We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about how to be grateful even when you don’t really understand why you’re even here. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Ten’s topic: Revenge.
We all know what revenge means. I’m pretty sure that we’ve all thought about getting back at someone for what they did to us, even if we never followed through with it. I’m sure we’ve all heard people talk about getting even with people, giving people a dose of their own medicine, etc. Andy Stanley said it best, “When you seek to get even, you put yourself on the same level as the person who wronged you.” Now do you really want to do that?
It’s hard not to want to seek revenge. I really have to watch my surroundings and connections, because I try to guard myself from people who thrive on getting even. It’s amazing to me how most of the people who want to get even with everyone else hardly ever see the wrong in anything they do… but that goes back to the message about grace and how people don’t always know and understand the level of grace they receive daily.
Today, I’m gonna give you one thing to be grateful for. Be grateful for the fact that you’re better than getting even. You’re better than that. The bible tells us not to repay any person evil for evil, but to overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21). You don’t have to do to people what they have done to you. God has made you better. God has equipped you with more. Much more.
Instead of focusing on getting someone back for that they did to you, focus on how you’re going to move on from what they did. Focus on how much better your life is going to be now that you learned the lesson that the offense came to teach you. Don’t focus on getting them back. You’re not responsible for what happens to them. You’re responsible for you. And aren’t you a wonderful person to be responsible for? Isn’t your life an amazing life to be accountable for? Isn’t your time too valuable to spend on plotting and scheming against someone?
Don’t level down. Always level up. It’s hard to do at first, but you’ll get the hang of it. Trust me. You don't have to be the vengeance police. Life has a way of teaching us the errors of our ways. Focus on your life, your development and your greatness. The rest will be set in order. 100% of the time.
Now go and have a happy Friday! If you’re a veteran, thank you for your service! You are an MVP all day every day.
Have an AMAZING day and be GREAT! I speak life over you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
You already know... ♥
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about how to be grateful even when you feel like you’re being misunderstood. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Nine’s Topic: Come Here, Woman!
This is honestly one of my favorite chapters in my book. This chapter is about a woman in the bible who was caught in the act of adultery. Now I’m not sure of all the logistics, and it seems kinda shady that a group of men would catch a woman in the act of adultery… but Jesus wasn’t in the business of spilling tea, so some stuff we will never fully know. However, this is what we find when we come on the scene: a woman who was caught in the act of adultery was brought before Jesus for judgment.
Now we all know that according to biblical standards and the laws of the land we live in (if you live in America) that adultery is wrong. Let’s just establish that before we move forward.
In the story (which can be found in John 8:1-11), Jesus was at the Temple early one morning. As usual, a group of people gathered, and He began to teach them. Let me put a pin right there and say this. If you are called to do something, there will always be people for you to do it for. Remember that. As Jesus was teaching these people, a group of teachers and Pharisees came with the woman who had been caught in adultery. Now if you don’t know what Pharisees are, think of them as the stuck up and self-righteous people you have encountered in your life. No judgment, though. Anyway, they came to Jesus with this woman, and they were always trying to trip Him up in some way. That’s another thing. When you are doing what God put you here to do, there will always be people who will try to trip you up. They’ll try to use your words against you. They’ll try to use what you believe in and stand on against you. Now if you remember the podcast I did about church folks, you’ll remember that I said that Jesus had comebacks for days. DAYS.
So here come the teachers and Pharisees, and they say (and I’m paraphrasing), “Jesus, we caught this woman in adultery, and the law of Moses says to stone her. So what do you say?” Now the New Living Translation of the Bible says, “They were trying to trap Him into saying something they could use against Him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with His finger. They kept demanding an answer, so He stood up again and said, ‘All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!’ The He stooped down again and wrote in the dust. When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, ‘Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?’ ‘No, Lord’, she said. And Jesus said, ‘Neither do I Go and sin no more.’”
And that was it. That’s the last we heard of her.
Usually, I would give you three things to be thankful for, but today, I’m only going to give you one. Be grateful for the stones that fell to the ground. I could spend time telling you about how we should be gracious towards others and how we should give others the same grace we wish to receive… but if there is one thing I am coming to realize the older I get, it’s that so many people aren’t even aware of the grace they have received.
We get so caught up in what everybody else is doing to us. We love to tell people, “Well God said, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay’ and He’s gonna get you for what you did to me” - but we forget that the same measure we give is what is gonna be given to us. So when we say “God’s gonna get you for what you did to me,” what follows that is “God’s gonna get me for what I did to so-and-so”. How would you feel if every time you said the first thing, the second one happened?
Now I’m not telling you to be passive and let people ...
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about how to be grateful for church folks. Yep - church folks. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Eight’s Topic: Misunderstood.
I don’t know of anything that bothers me more than being misunderstood. I think it bothers me so much because I work so hard to be very clear about who I AM and what I say. As a matter of fact, one of the things I’m often criticized for is how clear I make things. If you know me, you know EXACTLY what I mean.
Being misunderstood is frustrating, and it can also be very disappointing, depending on the situation. It is something we all face from time to time, and because of that, we should know how to handle it. Any time you’re involved in a misunderstanding (whether on your end or the other person’s end), consider it to be an open invitation to communicate. The invitation may not always be accepted, but remember that you’re not responsible for anyone else’s RSVP but your own.
Now let’s get into the three things to be grateful for.
Number One: Be grateful that God understands. I could honestly stop right there. The fact of the matter is that no matter how direct you try to be, no matter how clear you try to be, some people just won’t understand. They won’t understand your actions, they won’t understand your drive - they won’t understand you. Not understanding isn’t the issue, though. The issue is when someone assigns an incorrect perception and perspective to what they don’t understand. That is what causes the frustration. However, don’t let it get to you because the fact of the matter is that God understood it before it even manifested here. Now this doesn’t mean that you just jump up and say “Well I’m not gonna explain myself because God already understands!” No sir. No ma’am. You still need to seek to come to some level of understanding (even if it’s to agree to disagree)... but if you’ve done all you can do and you’re still misunderstood, you haven’t lost anything because God always understands. Got it? Awesome.
Number two: Be grateful that understanding is great, but it’s not required. As much as I would love for everyone to understand what I do and why I do it, they don’t have to. Just because someone is your friend doesn’t mean they’ll understand your drive. As a matter of fact, they may misunderstand it altogether. They may see your pursuit of your passion as a waste of time. They may see your dedication to singleness as a fear of rejection. You have to understand that you understand things based on your perception of the world. So if your perception of the world is that everyone who is confident is really lowkey arrogant, then everyone you meet who is confident, you’re gonna think they are arrogant. Your understanding is solely based on your perception of the world. That doesn’t mean that your perception is always right. The same is true for everyone else… and their understanding is not required. If they misunderstand your motives, intentions or whatever - seek to come to an understanding. If you misunderstand something about someone, seek to come to an understanding. However, if you are unable to do so, just remember that understanding is not required. Love is required. Compassion is required. Understanding is great, but not required.
Number three: Be grateful for self-reflection. I’m gonna tell you right now: Self-reflection is an AMAZING thing. Whenever you find yourself being misunderstood, the most amazing thing you can do for yourself is to look within. Did I present it the right way? Did I stand in my truth? Was my heart pure in this moment? Did I say/do what I said/did without malice? Was I clear? Did I cover all of the bases? Did I leave room for questions anywhere? Did I allow my personal issues to bleed over into the discussion? Was I fair? Was I gracious? Did I seek to understand?
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about how to be grateful even when people don’t apologize for the things they’ve done to offend you. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Seven's Topic: Church Folks!
LISTEN!!!! That one phrase can cause sooooo many emotions, right? Goodness gracious. Just hearing myself say those two words has me over here shaking my head. Dealing with people in general tends to be hard, but it just seems like church folks are a different breed of human beings. I think it’s because of what we expect from church folks. We expect them to be different from “regular folks”, but the fact of the matter is that people are people, no matter where you are or where you go. And honestly, just like church folks are “church folks” to you, you probably are or have been “church folks” to someone else, whether they were inside or outside of the church - sometimes without even realizing it. I know I’ve been “church folks” before… Bless my heart.
In my book, I quote a LONG passage of scripture (Luke 10:25-37 to be exact) that talks about the story of the Good Samaritan. Now if you don’t know the story, I’ll give you the tea right quick. So this lawyer asked Jesus what he had to do to inherit eternal life. Jesus flipped the question back on him and said, “Well what is written in the law?” Jesus had comebacks for days. So the lawyer quotes the scripture and says that we should love the Lord with all our heart, soul, and strength and that we should love our neighbor as we love ourselves. Jesus says, “Yeah, that’s right. Do that and you’ll live.” I’m paraphrasing, by the way. The lawyer tried to get a little justification for his little uppity actions by saying “And who is my neighbor?” So Jesus, true to form, tells a story. Normally, I get mad when I ask a simple question and someone tells me an entire story, but this is Jesus, so you know, you gotta kinda just listen. So here’s the story He told:
He said that a man was walking down the road and he got robbed. They stripped him and beat him, and then they left him half dead on the side of the road. So there was a priest going down the road and when he saw the man over there all beat up and stuff, he went to the other side and passed by. THE OTHER SIDE. A whole entire priest. Next came a Levite. Now a Levite is something like what we would call a "praise and worship leader" today. He saw the man, crossed the street, passed by the man… on the other side. Then, Jesus said, “BUT a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion.”
Now you may have been taught that when you use the word “but”, it negates everything you said before that word. Jesus was intentional about this. And that’s gonna bring me to number one, but let me finish the story. So the Samaritan man helped the man who had been robbed. He cleaned him up, bound up his wounds, took him to an inn and paid for his stay. Then he said, “Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.” So Jesus asked, “Which one of these do you think proved to be a neighbor?” The lawyer said, “The one who showed him mercy.” Jesus said, “You go, and do likewise.”
I really wanna break this down, but I have to give you these three things to be grateful for or we will be here ALL DAY!
Number one: Be grateful for the "but". Church folks can hurt you. Church folks will hurt you. We expect church folks to treat us differently than the people on our jobs, out on the street, on the Metro, etc. - but the fact of the matter is that people are people, and church folks (ourselves included) tend to use the very thing that is supposed to convict us to try to justify our behavior just like this lawyer was trying to do in this story. But… For every single offense, hurt,
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about how to be grateful even when you don’t really understand why you’re even here. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Six’s Topic: They Didn’t Even Apologize.
LISTEN!!!! Y’all. I could really go in on this one. Like, for real. Isn’t amazing how people will do you wrong and KNOW they did you wrong and still not apologize? I mean they will natural born go right on with their life like they didn’t mistreat you at all. It’s crazy. But I want to ask you something. Just out of curiosity. Have you ever in your life done something to someone and not apologized for it? Think about it. While you’re thinking, I’m gonna give you these three things to be grateful for.
Number One: Be grateful that your forgiveness isn’t predicated upon their apology. Seriously. You aren’t accountable for their apology. You’re only accountable for your forgiveness. Now THAT is a TWEET!!! You have the opportunity to free yourself and forgive whether they apologize or not.
Number Two: Be grateful that your ability and opportunity to move on are not predicated on their apology. The bridge to the other side is open. Their apology doesn’t open the door to the other side and their lack of apology doesn’t close it. You are ALWAYS free to move on. That’s a tweet, too. You are ALWAYS free to move on!!!
Number Three: Be grateful that you got through it. It hurt. It disappointed you. It made you mad. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair. They knew better. You didn’t deserve it. You didn’t retaliate. You did the right thing. It appears that they moved on without a second thought. All of that may be true - but do you know what’s also true? You got through it. And the truth about you should ALWAYS outweigh the truth about them. Now you know that’s a tweet! Seriously, though. What’s true about you should always weigh more in your mind than what’s true about others. Why? Because as a man thinketh in HIS HEART, so is HE (Proverbs 23:7). That has nothing to do with anybody else. YOU got through it… and YOU are okay.
You’re okay! Walk in that. Believe it. Forgive and keep it moving. If you need to forgive yourself, do that! Whoever, whatever… Forgive. Yesterday, I gave you a song called “Journal” by Casey J. I’m gonna give you a song today, too. “I Forgive Me” by James Fortune. One part of the song says, “I’m letting it go. You won’t steal my future anymore.” Unforgiveness steals your future. Pondering on what others have done and the fact that they didn’t apologize steals your future. Don’t allow it. Don’t allow the actions of others to take up any more of your time. You have a life to live. A joyful, abundance, awesome and amazing life. And that’s something you don’t have to apologize for. Ever.
I’m signing off. Have an AMAZING day and be GREAT! I speak life over you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
You already know! We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about how to be grateful even when you’re in lack. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Five’s Topic: Why am I Even Here?
In my book, I tell the story of how King David declared that God would fulfill his purpose for him despite the situations he was facing at that particular time. In life, things can happen to us that cause us to question our purpose. As a matter of fact, I can recall a time when so much was happening to me that I honestly thought I was on some "Final Destination" type stuff. I thought that maybe I was never supposed to be born, and life just kept trying to take me out because I was never supposed to be here. It’s amazing the things your mind will tell you when you allow it to be in control. It’s easy to forget your purpose in the heat of the moment. It’s easy to get so caught up in what life is throwing at you that you don’t even take the time to discover what your purpose is. However, regardless of the reason behind the question, there are three things to be grateful for even when you don’t understand why you’re here. Ready? Let’s go.
Number One: Be grateful that God knows your purpose even when you don’t. There has never been a single thing that has manifested in the earth realm that didn’t have a purpose. Not only does God have a purpose for you, but God has a purpose for everything about you, including your flaws. There’s a purpose for the family you were born into, the things you went through in your childhood, the friends you have, the enemies you have - nothing in this world happens by chance. Everything has a purpose. EveryONE has a purpose.
Number Two: Be grateful that you don’t have to have it all figured out. Honestly speaking, I AM JUST NOW walking into the BEGINNING PHASE of what I’m really here to do - and I’m thirty-three years old. Now it may not take you that long. It may take you longer. Who knows? I’ll tell you who. God. God knows. And as long as God knows, you don’t have to have it all figured out. The only thing you’re responsible for is being accountable for doing what you know to do, and not doing what you know not to do… which leads us to…
Number Three: Be grateful that God will reveal. God will reveal your purpose. It may be that God just speaks to you and tells you… but more often than not, your purpose is discovered as you live your life. I discovered my purpose when I started talking to people who were suicidal. I discovered my purpose when I started to stand in my truth. In Episode Seven, I’m gonna tell you about how losing almost every friend I had showed me my purpose. Just know that God will reveal it to you. Just ask. Just live. Just do what you know to do. God will reveal.
And on that note, I’m going to let you get on with your day. There’s a song by Casey J. called “Journal” - When I’m unclear or feeling like I’m lost in the sea of life’s difficulties, I grab this song and meditate on it. If you go to the podcast notes on my website, you’ll see the video. This song has helped me tremendously… because it reminds me of how to tap into the KNOWING that God has great things for me to do here. Check it out!
Have an AMAZING day and be GREAT! I speak life over you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥
We are continuing our 30 Days of Thanksgiving! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about how to be grateful even when you feel like you’ll never be good enough. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Four’s Topic: Lack.
As someone who has been homeless before (in the middle of winter, might I add), I know what it means to lack. I know. From real-life experience. I know what it is to lack shelter. I know what it is to lack food. I know what it is to not have heat. I know what it is to not have running water. I know what it is to lack love and support. I’m telling you - I KNOW what it is to experience lack. I have to set the stage like this because a lot of times we take on an “easier said than done” response when we don’t feel like others can relate to our past or current struggles. So let me help everyone today - I can relate!
Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s talk. Lack is no fun. Lack affects us in many ways. It affections our emotions, and it can even affect our health. People who are experiencing lack often become depressed, they feel worthless and sometimes they feel hopeless. However, today, I’m here to tell you that lack is the end of your story. In my book, I give daily declarations. The declaration for Day Four his: I walk in abundance, and lack is not what God desires for me. Say that. I walk in abundance, and lack is not what God desires for me. Say it again. I walk in abundance, and lack is not what God desires for me.
Put that declaration up on your wall, on your mirror, in your wallet - wherever you need to see it. Remember it. Own it. Speak it. It’s the unadulterated truth.
Now, as customary, let me give you three things to be grateful for even when you’re experiencing lack.
Number One: Be grateful for what you do have. I know… You already know that… but seriously. Take a moment to be intentional about being grateful for what you do have, even if you think it’s just a little. Even if it’s not what you want. Even if it pales in comparison to what others have. It’s still yours, it’s still an addition to your life, and it’s still something to be grateful for. Remember that gratitude opens the door for more. Wait. That was a tweet!
Number Two: Be grateful there are opportunities all around you. You may not see these opportunities manifested in the physical realm yet, but as long as you live, there will be opportunities around you to do better, to be better and to have more. Gratitude will bring them into fruition in the earth realm. “God, I thank You for every opportunity that will present itself to me today. I will take advantage of every opportunity to do better, to be better and to have more.” That’s a good affirmation to make daily. Agree?
Number Three: Be grateful the ability to give. Give what? Give whatever you have. One of the things that really unlocks abundance is giving. So even in the midst of lack, think about what you have to give and be grateful for that. Can you give someone a listening ear? Can you give some of your time? Do you have love to give? Can you give someone a hot meal? A hug? A shoulder to cry on? Do you have clothes you can give to someone who experienced a house fire? Can you give empathy to someone who recently experienced something that you’ve experienced before? There is ALWAYS something to give - and gratitude and giving and the two biggest ways to unlock abundance - just make sure that you do these things out of a pure heart and not because you want something in return.
This was good to my soul! I’m gonna go ahead and let you go before I get carried away! Have an AMAZING day and be GREAT! I speak life over you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole Watson
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about how to be grateful even when you feel like you’re always messing up. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Three’s Topic: I Will Never Be Good Enough.
I’m about to drop some major tea. TEA! The fact of the matter is that sometimes, I STILL feel like I’ll never be good enough for some people. I feel like no matter what I do, how much I give and how much I say, none of it will ever be good enough, and they will never be satisfied.
Can you relate? I’m sure you can. But let me help us all by talking about three things we should be grateful for even when we feel like we’re never be good enough.
Number One: Be grateful that you’re good enough for God. No, you’re not perfect, no, you don’t always do everything right - but the love of God is not, has not ever been and will not ever be predicated upon what you do. God’s love is unconditional, and you already have it.
Number Two: Be grateful that the approval of people does not change God’s purpose for your life. God never has to check with anybody to see if it’s okay to use you, to bless you or to do anything else for you. Of course we want those around us (especially those we love) to approve of us and accept us for who we are - but even if they don’t, God already did.
Number Three: Be grateful that God knows the difference. God knows the difference between someone else’s personal preference for your life and what needs to happen for your growth and development. Remember that wisdom from yesterday’s episode. God uses that same wisdom to show you what you need to change about yourself. Allow God to be the Potter who molds you into who and what you should be. Now don’t think God won’t use people in that process, because He definitely will… but when you tap into that wisdom, you’ll know the difference between people being used by God and people just speaking out of their own opinions… because you’ll be in tune with God, and God knows the difference. ♥
And there it is. It’s HARD feeling like you’ll never be good enough. It’s rough. It’s tough. But as long as you find a way to position yourself with gratitude, you’ll be absolutely fine.
Have an AMAZING day and be GREAT! I speak life over you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole Watson
Hello there! What a wonderful day it is!
We are continuing our 30 Days of Gratitude! If you missed the scoop about why we’re celebrating, be sure to check out Episode One. Yesterday, we talked about how to be grateful in the midst of feeling like we just don’t know what to do. Today, we’re going to be discussing Day Two’s Topic: I Keep Messing Up.
I know you can relate. We all have those times when we just feel like, “Man. Can I do ANYTHING right? As soon as I feel like I’m really getting it together, there I go messing up again.” It’s a tough feeling. It’s a disappointing feeling. But… it’s a necessary feeling. Why? How? I’m glad you asked.
The scripture I reference in Day Two of my book is Proverbs 24:15-16. I’m gonna read it to you out of the English Standard Version of the Christian Bible. It says,
“Lie not in wait as a wicked man against the dwelling of the righteous; do no violence to his home; for the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.”
What does this mean? It means that even the people who strive to do everything right mess up sometimes. That doesn’t mean that you should just keep messing up. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t go through the process of evaluating your thoughts and behaviors to see if there are any trends or cycles being played out that need to be stopped. What it does mean, though, is that when you fall, you do not have to stay down at all. Ever.
In my book, I give you all kinds of empowerment about falling and getting back up again and again… but today, I’m gonna give you three things to be grateful for even when you keep messing up over and over again.
Number One: Be grateful that you recognize the fact that you made a mistake. There are so many people on this earth who walk around doing things and they never seem to even realize the error of their ways. Now I don’t know if it’s that they don’t realize it or that they choose not to acknowledge the realization… but whatever the case may be, be glad that you are able to recognize when you miss the mark. That’s an amazing and necessary quality to possess.
Number Two: Be grateful for wisdom. The Bible says in James 1:5 that “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” That’s the English Standard Version, by the way. So what does this mean? It means that even when you’re on the ground after a fall, even in your weakest moment, you have access to infinite wisdom. Infinite, unlimited, perfect wisdom. Wisdom that will guide you through getting up, dusting yourself off and pressing forward to greater.
Number Three: Be grateful that your fall is not final. Whew! That’s tweetable!
Seriously though. Your fall is not final. If your fall was final, you wouldn’t be listening to me right now. Whatever it is, it is not the end. You can get back up, and you will be stronger because of the fall. It takes way more strength to get back up than it does to fall. So just the fact that you are rolling over, propping yourself up and standing lets me know how strong you are. You may not know what to do after you get up, but remember that God knows, and remember that you always have access to infinite and unlimited wisdom.
And that’s it! Be grateful. It’ll change things. You’ve got this. God’s got you. I believe in you! Now get out there and try this thing again! Have an AMAZING day and be GREAT! I speak life over you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
SIDENOTE Along with my book, I created an I Speak Life Journal. It’s a twelve-week journal and you fill it out at the beginning of every week so that you can set yourself up to have an amazing week! One of the pages in this journal gives the direction to “Fill this page with gratitude.” Why? Because starting your week with gratitude sets you up for success,
Hey hey hey! Thanks for checking out my podcast today! I always like to leave notes to reinforce what I've said, AND to provide a synopsis of the podcast for those who may not have time to listen!
This is the FIRST EPISODE of As Told by Kole! This is soooooo exciting! I'm gonna be uploading every single day, so be sure to subscribe so that you don't miss out! Now let's get it!
As we know, the month of November is when America observes Thanksgiving... So I decided to take my book (I Speak Life) and use it to celebrate 30 Days of Thanksgiving! Let me give you the backstory. I have survived over twenty-two suicide attempts. There was a time when I would walk out into traffic without looking in hopes that I’d get hit by a car/bus/truck or whatever. It was rough, honey! But through it all, the will of God in me was stronger than the circumstances around me - so here I AM!
What better way to celebrate Thanksgiving than to celebrate life? So… Let’s discuss day one.
Day One: I just don’t know.
This topic is very near and dear to me, because I’ve lived a great portion of my life feeling like I just didn’t know how to overcome what I was dealing with. Let me read you guys an excerpt from my book, so you’ll get a better idea.
“Life can be so overwhelming. It can often seem like EVERYTHING is rocky and shaky, and it often leaves you paralyzed and fearful that if you take another step, the ground will crumble beneath you. Sometimes the only thing you seem to be able to do is lay across your bed, let out a high sigh, and say, “I just don’t know.” It’s okay. Breathe. Right now, in this moment… Breathe. It’s okay that you don’t know. It’s not your job to be all-knowing. Your job is to trust the God who IS all-knowing.
In my book, I tell a story about King David… but today, I’m gonna give you three things to be grateful for even when you just don’t know what’s going on.
Number One: Be grateful that you’re here. I know this one is hard because you may not always want to be here, but just the fact that you are here is a major win.
Number Two: Be grateful for what you DO know. You may have to think long and hard, but even in your “I just don’t know” situation, there is something that you DO know. In my case, I knew that I had come through every other situation I had faced, so I would come through these situations as well, thanks to the Most High!
Number Three: Be grateful that God knows. I can’t stress this one enough. You may not know, but God absolutely does. God knows EVERYTHING. The backstory, the current story and the future story. And remember, all of those stories are YOUR story, and they all work for YOUR good. Nothing can work unless it works for your good!
And that’s it! Gratitude is so important because it shifts our thinking which shifts our life. So the next time you find yourself feeling like you’re sinking, take a moment to be grateful, and watch your whole atmosphere begin to change!
Along with my book, I created an I Speak Life Journal. It’s a twelve-week journal and you fill it out at the beginning of every week so that you can set yourself up to have an amazing week! One of the pages in this journal gives the direction to “Fill this page with gratitude.” Why? Because starting your week with gratitude sets you up for success, and it gives you something to refer back to whenever you need a little motivation to maintain your faith and confidence. So often, the difference between being suicidal and being grounded is the way you perceive a situation. Remember that. The way you see a situation is more powerful than the situation itself. Now that’s tweetable!
Have an AMAZING day and be GREAT! I speak life over you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow!
XOXO,
Na'Kole ♥